#I'm kind of normal about this relationship

[shysuccubusstuff]

Yandere! Caleb:

Content: Non proof-reader; Gaslight + Manipulation + Lying; Established relationship + Somnophilia + Masturbating with clothes + Possessiveness + Riding + Size difference + Praising + Dumbification + Overstimulation + Thigh riding.

Note: I have never been a Caleb hater, so of course I had to write something about this cutie... Have you all seen the trailer? What do you think about him? I'm actually quite glad that they added someone who better fits the role of a dark romance, as Sylus was just a green forest contrary to what he was presented as. Let me know if you want in comments/private messages!! Also, sorry if it seems a bit too short :((

SFW:

Yandere! Caleb, who has known you since childhood, thus it is only natural that he knows every single small detail about you. What do you mean by saying that it's not normal for him to know the exact measures of every single inch of your body? He has known you for over eleven years, it's only natural.

Yandere! Caleb who sometimes takes advantage of your kind heart, remarking just how close you are, gaslighting you into thinking that some of the stuff he does for you is completely normal between friends. I mean, of course friends tell each other where are they every single second, and of course they know all of their other friends.

Yandere! Caleb who also uses the advantage of being a bit older than you, so you just have to trust his advices. He knows best, and he loves you, so how could you even doubt him?

Yandere! Caleb who slowly makes sure to get rid of your other friends, specially those who seem a bit too eager to hangout with you. He does this by lying, asking you to help him searching for the perfect gift for grandma, as he wasn't completely sure if that would actuall suit her taste. Or maybe getting sick on purpose, bathing with freezing cold water, staying there for a few hours just to make sure you would refuse to leave him all alone.

Yandere! Caleb who overprotected you since he was young, always holding hands with you until you started to get shy about it. He was always leading you, his magnetic gaze making it impossible to refuse his requests.

Yandere! Caleb who starts to train late at night as a way to stop his own urges to chain you to him. Punching the training bag as he keeps reminding himself that if he does that it would mean breaking the façade he had spent so much time creating just for your entertainment.

Yandere! Caleb who buys you a beautiful necklace for your birthday, he smiles brightly as he helps you put it around your neck. You were still unaware, but this was just one of the most tame ways he came up with to show just how much he wanted you only for him.

NSFW:

Yandere! Caleb who sometimes makes his way inside your house late at night, the keys to it in his pockets as you had given them to him in case he ever needed a place to rest, or he simply wanted to pay a visit. He rummages around your drawers, searching for anything that has your scent, he presses it to his nose, smelling that sweet scent as he feels his erection grow under his pants. He bites his lips as a way to keep himself from undoing his belt and start to touch himself just from imagining your precious face smiling at him.

Yandere! Caleb who enjoys using his own body weight as he fucks your pretty pussy, making you whine and mewl each time he increases the pressure against your lower tummy causing his dick rubbing even more against your insides. Even despite you cling to the sheets for dear life as he plunges against you, he simply smiles sadistically, one of his hands petting your hair as he keeps watching you try to stop yourself from spilling out all those lewd moans by biting on the pillow. His mind rushing as he imagines all those damn "friends" hearing you melt under him just from him moving his hips a bit as he forces his way into you.

Yandere! Caleb who loves seeing the necklace he gave you recoiling against your chest each time he helped you to move up and down his cock, nails digging on his back as he kept hitting that sweet spot, kissing your neck as he whispered sweet nothings against your ear: "You're doing so good for me, yeah, keep moving your hips baby..." [...] "Are you getting tired, baby? Let me help you." Suddenly, his hands wrap around your hips, forcing his whole length on a single thrust, a squeal leaving your mouth as the tip of his cock suddenly hit against your cervix, eyes rolling back as he kept pressing his cock against you, mainting you completely still as he kept praising you. "Shh... You're doing so good for me, taking my whole cock inside you... So good baby, so good for me... Just a bit more, yeah? Gotta make sure you get all dumb and pretty for me, right?"

Yandere! Caleb who loves dirtying your face with his cum, allowing you to give him head, his fingers making their way into your lower half, using his rough fingertips to play with your clit as you started to spread soft kisses all over his length. By the time he finally cums, your mind was completely melted from cumming all over his fingers and mouth, sucking on his cock mindlessly as he moved his hips in a slow rythm, only increasing it as he came inside your mouth. When he opened his eyes, he found a precious sight, your mouth slightly open as a few strings of his cum escapep from your soft lips, your eyes looking at him as if you were dazed, glistening with a mixture of pure love and devotion. He quickly cleans it, kissing your lips as lets you rest on top of him, peppering soft kisses all over your face. "You did amazing, sweetheart. Such a good girl for me."

Yandere! Caleb, who sometimes becomes extra mean with you, making you mewl as he forces you to orgasm just from using his knee, having you ride them as he looks at you with an unamused look on his face. You keep rubbing against his clothed lower half, pleading between soft moans to get him to touch you, whispering things like: "Please, please, please, just the tip-- Can't take it anymore... Caleb please--". By the time he decides to get you to cum, you are already a panting mess, drool falling down your chin as your mind is already too far gone, tears falling down your face from the frustration. Before you are even able to realise, Caleb is already forcing you to cum all over your panties, his fingers rubbing against your clothed clit as you mumble a few words of gratitude.

[radlymona]

You've patently ignored everything I've said for the second time (and aren't able to explain what it says about people who sexually get off at inflicting abuse onto their partners).

you mean just like every other relationship right? Whether its a vanilla sexual relationship, a platonic relationship, a relationship between coworkers, the power imbalance between a boss and their employee-- all these are affected by these real world dynamics. You're the one that is being absurd by singling BDSM out as some kind of "inherent" outlier.

You're right about the fact that every relationship in the world is made up of a power balance. However, you're ignoring the fact that a BDSM relationship severely intensifies this power imbalance. When one person is calling the other "Master", wears a collar to signify that they are owned by the other, and is having pain inflicted upon them frequently during sex, there is a much larger power imbalance going on then in normal relationships. Acting out rape scenes during sex results in a much more intense power imbalance. The fact that I even to explain this shows how willfully ignorant you're being.

Hmm. Terf Radfem uses microaggression on nonbinary tumblr user who pisses them off. I'm shocked, SHOCKED I tell you.

But your identity does matter here. Your identity has impeded your ability to see this as a male violence issue, instead writing off my original response as "smells terfy" and "gender essentialist", the former comment really showing just how seriously you take this.

But to bring it back to Neil Gaiman -- you are actually undercutting how vile he is by saying that BDSM is an inherently violent and abusive relationship, and that dominant males are inherently abusive.

I'm not saying that Neil Gaiman isn't an especially disgusting serial sex abuser (words I've used to describe him before). I'm saying that there are a lot of (wealthy, white) male dominants in the BDSM scene doing very similar things that he has. Realising that there is a pattern of male violence in the BDSM scene isn't discounting the severe violence experienced by Neil Gaiman's victims. Sexual violence doesn't occur in a silo, but is done to overwhelmingly females by overwhelmingly males. If we treat sexual abuses cases as individually horrifying stories without having commonality to similiar instances of sexual abuse we a) can't prevent it from occuring again and b) educate people on it.

because -- when you say it like that -- it really takes away that the person with the MOST options, the MOST resources, the MOST power chose to do this. Multiple times. Not just a choice he actively made, but men and women around him choosing to prioritize him, which aligns with patriarchy. How many lawyers must have suspected those NDAs? and how long his various privileges -- being a respected writer, being a white man, being wealthy--protected him. Even allowed himself to masquerade as a feminist (just like Whedon).

But you're missing the point. I'm saying privileged, wealthy men are attracted to BDSM culture as a way of targeting vulnerable young women in a socially acceptable way. You even mention NDAS (as did I), and how many wealthy BDSM doms do you think have their lawyers draw up NDAs for prospective subs to sign as a way of legally covering their asses? How many of them use their resources and options to procure the most naive, insecure, and financially dependent women possible to exhibit their sexual fantasies onto?l

But since you originally brought up race, here’s some stats for you:

Now do you think that maybe just maybe there's a correlation between wealth, straightness, and maleness, and to those attracted to BDSM culture? Hmm I wonder why that could be.

saying all those autonomous choices he made was actually due to some inherent abusive personality as a dom...wow. That's a slap in the face to the people he hurt, gives him a pass he doesn't deserve, and also removes the capability to change.

I'm saying that abusive personalities are attracted to BDSM culture, again as a way to live out their abusive fantasies. The article implies that Gaiman sufferred throughout his childhood in Scientology. It doesn't take a genius to realise that he was re-enacting his childhood abuse in his sexual relationships, this time with himself as the abuser/dominant. That doesn't take away his autonomy, he chose to do this again and again. But even if he was "inherently abusive" why would that take away the pain caused to his victims? Regardless, you have to stop and ask yourself, why is someone attracted to the thought of re-enacting a rape scene even if the submissive has totally consented? That is what underlines criticism of BDSM culture.

Also, spare me about Gaiman's so-called "capability to change". He's been a serial sex abuser for decades, targeting young vulnerable women with his sad author schtick. Had he not been caught out, he would never have "changed". He would have continued raping women for the rest of his life.

Because all of us are capable of oppression in some way. all of us are capable of abuse in some way. And we need to choose, every day, to not participate in that. But that choice is removed if someone is just inherently bad.

This is such a strange spiel when talking about a serial sexual predator. Again, I never insinuated he is inherently bad, just drawn to inherently abusive sexual practices.

But saying "dom people are inherently abusive" removes the responsibility for people to CHOOSE not to abuse and oppress while fatalistically condemning people into eternal roles of abuser and abused in whatever systemic contexts those acts might fall (parent to child, rich to poor, white people to indigenous people, etc).

Dominants choose to inflict abuse onto their sexual partners. They choose to have their partners call them master. They choose to have their partners wear degrading clothing items. They choose to transgress their boundaries under the guise of testing one's limits. They could have chosen to have a sexually healthy relationship, and instead chose to give themselves an extraordinary amount of power over their partners. And becaue of that, we can freely critique their choices.

but hey. i'm just a no good they/them/their what the fuck do i know

You can try to instil guilt all you want but it doesn't take away the fact that your original reply simply did not want to analyse this as a patriarchial issue. That you may as well have said #NotAllMen. And when I've seen yet another instance of a non-binary person refusing to understand patriarchial issues to come to the defence of men as a whole, I'm going to mention it as a blinding factor and an inability to actually be a feminist.

If the paywall comes up, try to put the link into this: https://www.removepaywall.com

Posting in the spirit of not staying quiet about this.

I strongly suggest you read this—all of it, because it’s long. Lila Shapiro is the journalist who wrote the investigation into Joss Whedon btw and won an award for it, so maybe people can finally stop making this all about Tortoise Media.

[unacknowledgeable]

Yan!batfam x Reader x TMNT (can you tell what I’ve just watched?)

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I'm not really sure what this is i wanted a lil break from the overwhelming angst from my SK!Reader series, kinda just plot points for this idea that I wanna lay out and explore later more in depth, mostly based of 20018, loosely based off the 2012 Turts, the turtles aren't yandere in this, it’s just the general protectiveness of their family lol :p 

The typical neglected batsibling lol, shows up to the manor at age 5, after the disappearance of your mother, 2 years after Bruce adopted dick

Alfred had really put his foot down on you knowing about bruce's “nightly excursions”, citing the different backgrounds and skill sets as to why Dick was allowed and you weren't even told

So, there's already distance, such a huge secret and constant dangerous activities

Someone who didn't have that drive for justice, and two who needed it like air

That, and that bruce didn't really know how to deal with not just some kid, but his kid that wasn't really supposed to exist at all

You were a complete accident, bruce didn't even remember who your mother was without digging into decades old new articles of his past relationships, years after you had already left the manor

On a lighter note, you meet the turtles pretty early on, which definitely saved you in the long run, despite the rocky start

Three years after arriving at the manor, at the age of 8, you run into the turtles while playing (unsupervised, mind you) by gotham harbor

You heard them in one of the sewer drainage pipes, and after some talking, you asked them to play (you didn't actually expect them to say yes, no one ever did)

They were hesitant, they can't just show themselves willy nilly! They got so lucky with April, but that was April, who saw them first and had to ask questions later

But you had asked questions first, so you’ll get to see them later 

You saw their silent hesitation, and at the risk of looking desperate because you were  you offered to blindfold yourself, so you wouldn't see (don't ever do this, y/n’s dumb and 8)

And they agreed! They actually agreed! You’d been so excited! So excited you barely noticed just how many times you fallen, because the boys played a little rough but you were determined to keep up

So when the time came when you had to leave, you were covered in bruises and mud

Alfred wasn't exactly pleased, but you were smiling and happy, so he wouldn't look a gift horse on the mouth

After that you kept going back, day after day, to play by the waters edge, with people you couldn't see but saw you, instead of staying cooped up in the manor, where you saw everyone and were seen be none

Of course, being batman's kid, you were able to deduce that these kids where some type of mutants, you can only get get knocked over so many time before realizing what you're running into is a hard shell and the hands helping you up only having 3 fingers

So eventually, you find out just exactly what they look like, what kinds of turtles they are etc

This totally doesn't spark a near life long love of turtles, leading you to decorate your entire childhood room with the reptiles, nope no way

You meet April later, since she lives a lot further than the turtles do, and while you could get away with sneaking off to the harbor for 1-2 hours just fine, it was a bit difficult finding a time lapse of time long enough before Alfred grew wary of where you ran off too

The turtles think your dad is some kind of bat mutant or vampire, because you talked about overhearing Barbra and Dick talking about bruce being this “batman” once

No they don't realize they were talking about THE batman until they are way older lol

Otherwise they don't really think anything of it bc their dads a rat like, it’s normal for them

Reader definitely is like, super buff in this bc you've been roughhousing with 4 mutant superhuman turtles since childhood, OF COURSE your gonna be buff

Plus your older than them so losing is just a non option for you, your far too competitive for that

You bring Donnie whatever gadgets you can from the house for him to take apart and use

You’ll bring Mikey spray paints and tag the abandoned theme parks together

You get Raph high quality bedding to stop his spikes from ripping them

You taught Leo how to play chess, and you have a running score on whose won, going back yeaaars

You and April end up going to the same school, (you begged Alfred a lot) so you had a pretty active social life outside the manor and you help her with her job searches a lot

I can't decide if I want Gotham and New York to be sister cities, or just treating them as the same place, I'm still figuring that out lol. I just find the hijinxs of the turtles vs. the angst of the batfamily to be so funny and the worms agreed sooo.

[startheskelaton]

Can you tell us more about Landlot(Sparkplug's ex boyfriend)please?

Oh gosh I'm gonna go on a huge tangent about this guy, mostly because I feel like it.

So Landlot is the newest version of a character that belonged to my own ex boyfriend. However I was the one to properly flesh out his character, the most my ex did was give him a color pallet and basic personality.

For context, One Spark first started as a fanfiction called "End of the rode" made by my ex. It was a post apocalyptic transformers au where the Optimus and Megatron are dead, the autobots are trying to make another arc to get to Cybertron and the decepticons are now led by Starscream. The story only really got a proper threw line when I suggested adding a character I had thought up, Sal Witwicky, the orphaned daughter of Spike Witwicky. Sal's deal was that she resented transformers because they not only destroyed her world, but let her family die, now she's one of few surviving humans. She gets found by Hound and reluctantly agrees to go back with him to the autoboot base.

At one point, Sal was supposed to be horribly injured by Ravage (who was only there because I really liked Soundwave, and his addition helped fill in plot gaps), to the point she was about to die. However they put her in a experimental protoform body... she would now be known... as Sparkplug. (I also came up with this plotline)

Why am I going on about this? Well because it's important to why Land lot exists on my current story. Landlot in the old fanfiction was a twin and was one of the first transformers built on earth, post Sparkplug getting put into robot body. He was supposed to be the leader of his group, as he was kind of a hotrod wanna be. He was also vary clearly a self projection character for my ex, similar to how I tend to project onto Sparkplug. I had offered the idea for Sparkplug and Landlot to be a couple, I can't remember if my ex was on board for the idea or not, however I do remember it being the only thing close to romance in the whole story.

So here we are a good maybe 6 years later. I had a lot of trauma from that relationship to the point I still dream about him, and the moment I realize it's him in my dream, I try and get away from him, not wanting to be with him at all. I won't say I was a saint during that relationship, but I do resent him for being able to find some sense of peace with intimacy. A lot of shit happened... So when I decided to remake the Transformers AU, I was mean to Landlot.

So who is Landlot in the One Spark AU?

Well he's a 1970's Plymoth GX, who emerged with his twin sister, Defender. They emerged pretty soon after the matrix awakened the energon on earth. They emerged vary close to the autobot base and were taken in and trained like any normal sparkling would be trained back on Cybertron. He fit in vary well as he remined a lot of the autobots of the older days, just a bunch of guys who turned into cars acting like heroes and messing around. He would become a poster boy for the transformers born on Earth.

How did he end up dating Sparkplug? Well I'll tell yah. Despite a lot of my art showing people dotting over Sparkplug, that wasn't the case for a majority of the autobots, yes a good amount of them formed bonds with her, but it was only because they were related to prime. Bot's like Ironhide, sideswipe, Blur, Proceptor and a good amount of other autobot's being vary against Megatron and Soundwave being allowed to join, and some are still convinced that Sparkplug is just part of a secret plan of Megatron to try and take over earth again.

So a lot of bots stayed away from her, and this bias would trickle down to the new earth born bots on the base. So Sparkplug never had any friends her age, the closet being Rumble and Frenzy who were basically teenagers when she was born. However Sparkplug did grow up to be rather pretty... well... as pretty as you can be while being a weird combination of two bots. Even though she tried to talk to the other young bots, her awkwardness and bluntness only made them stay away from her. However Landlot slip in, seeing an opportunity to have a cute/shy girlfriend. Sparkplug fell hard and fast for him because she had never had anyone interested in her romantically. He would try and mold Sparkplug into a sweet, dotting and helpless shy girl that would hang on his arm to make him look cooler. Because how badass would it be to show that he was able to get the notorious Megatron's daughter to be his side chick.

Eventually, Sparkplug got tired of getting the short end of the stick and decided to break up with him after seeing that he was trying to get with other bots behind her back, bot's that vary clearly didn't like her.

So that's where they stand as of now. Landlot is still a celebrated leader for his heroics and fun personality, while Sparkplug just only got passed to go on missions and was put on the most mind numbing job imaginable.

sorry that this is so long, I just really wanted to share all this info

[glendasguidance]

🫖 pick a picture ☕️🧣🍪

Full Moon in Cancer

₊˚ʚᗢ₊˚✧ﾟhow to pick // disclaimers ✧˚ ༘ ⋆｡♡˚

Here are some messages for you this full moon <3

spread: Biddy Tarot Full Moon spread // decks: Rider Waite tarot, Find Your Purpose by Jess Sanders

Pile 1 / Pile 2 / Pile 3

Inhale, exhale 3x, pick

★ personal readings ★ support me ��� other readings ★

★ check out this reading! → USA Post-Election (2024): How can you support yourself, your community, and Earth in the present moment and in the years to come? (for US citizens and non-US citizens - for every Earthling <3) ★

Pile 1

What have you created and manifested since the new moon?

Ace of Swords - You've been realizing how much you don't allow yourself to think certain thoughts and speak your mind to the people around you. You've started speaking to yourself in an encouraging way, and that has been allowing you to gain clarity on your worth and value as a person, grow instead of hide yourself away, live in the present moment, communicate much better, create the life you want. This is new to you, so you kinda have Bambi legs right now, but that's okay. Don't be discouraged by your mistakes or anxieties, the more you consider your own opinions and use your voice, the more confident you will feel. Also, be smart about speaking truth to power. People who have power over others often do not operate with fairness and justice in mind, and will punish people that question it or their choices. Which isn't fair. And I'm not going to enable that behavior by telling you "that's just how the world works" - what I'm telling you is to think before you act on an impulse. If you realize it's not safe to act on your first desire, what is a way you can still achieve the same goal while protecting yourself? If you feel it's right to be confrontational, be prepared to handle reaction and backlash. Like the imagery on the card, think of these moments like sword fights - these are moments to be a samurai, not a novice. Let your friends help you.

Where are you now?

Judgement reversed - I believe there's been malicious gossip going around about you, and you've been sensing it. You probably realized when the people you get along with the best have been distancing themselves from you, and not acting as friendly with you as they normally do. I'm sensing more strongly with this pile that you may be receiving a lot of blame from a group you're in (family, a friend group, work, volunteer group, etc). And that it's a reaction to you attempting to hold someone accountable for hurting you or others, or enforce the agreed upon guidelines. Whatever it is, it's unfair. You feel astonished by this wake up call. But, the shock of the ice cold truth of what these people's true colors are is giving you an opportunity to have something you've needed for a long time. A choice to make for yourself. I sense you've usually gone with what other people decide, feeling too anxious to make decisions or believing your role in life is to follow what the leaders (or men in general) tell you to do. Baby girl you are NOT a plastic bag drifting through the wind. What is in your own best interest? Following that isn't selfish, it's self preservation.

What is coming into your conscious awareness?

9 of Swords reversed - You've realized you've gotta let go of a lot of stress and stressful people. You can't live like this anymore. It's been hurting you. You were putting a looot on your plate that wasn't for you to take care of - it was other peoples' responsibility. You probably had kind intentions and just wanted to help, and it was very kind you did that. People took advantage of your innocence. You'll have a "fuck it, I'm done attitude. This is good because there's nothing for you to feel guilt or burdened by. Moving forward as you heal, reevaluate your needs, wants, and values in relationships. Don't list things that make relationships functional as the top things you're looking for. Trust, honesty, kindness, patience, etc aren't "high standards" (a bullshit phrase imo), they're foundational to every healthy relationship. First, learn or review how to recognize basic green flags in people, and then learn what traits you like and appreciate (humor, spontaneity vs planners, night owls vs morning birds, club goers or book worms, outdoorsy vs indoorsy, etc). Accept help and support from others at this time, you might be surprised at who helps you / is a safe person.

Quote Ask yourself what is really important and then have the courage to build your life around your answer. - Lee L. Jampolsky Affirmation I am guided by what I value most. Journal What are my top five values?

🦢 ♥︎ much love - Glenda ♥︎ 🦢

★☮︎★ support people affected by Jan 2025 LA wildfires ★☮︎★ support incarcerated firefighters ★☮︎★

Pile 2

What have you created and manifested since the new moon?

6 of Pentacles - Did you know that life can be good again? Probably not for a while. You've recently spent time around children or saw children playing and helping each other. This hit you with some sweet nostalgia, making you remember playing, being silly, and having fun - and how you could make any mundane moment playful, silly, and fun. You've realized you can still do that right now. Fun is always here, we just have to make it. And isn't it fun to make it? And yes, the world can be kind.

Where are you now?

3 of Cups - You're fuckin' live laugh loving your life - go you!! You're partying and being silly with your friends, going on adventures, and being a goofy goober. You're connecting with new friends, and making new friends along the way. If you don't currently have friends, this is your time to make them. You won't connect with everyone you meet, and that okay. The kind, safe, loving, fun friends you haven't met yet are waiting for you to come say hi.

What is coming into your conscious awareness?

Queen of Wands - This is how you become a badass, a boss ass bitch, slay queen pussy boss boots house down serving cunt. Just like with self love, how we learn we are lovable by being loved by others and accepting their affections, the same goes for confidence. I guess they’re one in the same really. When you have fun, and then others positively respond and have fun with you, it reinforces with you that you are good as you are and how wonderful your light is. It gives you protection from people who try to dim it - they can’t make you believe you should. So go make friends, and call up the ones you have. Making your own fun is empowering you to make your own life, and you’re growing into yourself. How exciting it is to find out what you’ll do, what you’ll make, and learn more about yourself. How magical it is to constantly discover goodness and kindness and love everywhere again. You are ever expansive and love is infinite. 🌌

Quote Just don't give up trying to do what you really want to do. Where there is love and inspiration, I don't think you can go wrong. - Ella Fitzgerald Affirmation I will experience challenges, but I will never let them stop me from doing what I love. Journal How have I been able to overcome challenges in the past?

🦢 ♥︎ much love - Glenda ♥︎ 🦢 ★☮︎★ support people affected by Jan 2025 LA wildfires ★☮︎★ support incarcerated firefighters ★☮︎★

Pile 3

What have you created and manifested since the new moon?

Chariot reversed and 3 of Swords - You finally got the care you’ve needed, but it also comes with a significant life change, and that involves grief. I believe most of you got a new mobility aid. If not, then there’s something about a car, bike, or public transit. Because I got an image of a wheelchair very strongly in my head, I’m going to focus on mobility aids and disability moving forward in the reading. I’m sure all you’ve been wishing for has been freedom of movement. You seemed to have had a specific wish though, like for your disability to be gone. Instead, you got a mobility aid. To you, this feels like limitation and restriction. I’m not saying “you’re handicapable!” or that other “inspirational” crap able-bodied people say. What I am saying is that this mobility aid is your freedom of movement - maybe for sometimes, maybe forever. It is a blessing to have one at all. Think of all the kind inventors making stuff so people can be independent and live! How wonderful is that? But I’m know it’s hard to shift to gratitude when you’re grieving. Let yourself cry and be angry and feel it all. It’s hard realizing how vulnerable you are and how much care you need, especially if you’ve been neglected most of your life or created an identity around being hyper-individualistic. Do you have a fear that people won’t help you? That’s very real, many disabled people are treated like garbage, the world can be pretty inaccessible, and right now barely anyone gets a Ms. Rona booster (the least one can do if they refuse to wear a mask). So feel and write and paint and express all your feelings about it. It’s all real and valid. Other people could be dealing with receiving a mobility aid they were excited for, but it’s not working, and it’s difficult to get repairs or replacements. Others felt excited to finally get one, but are grieving an unexpected feeling of loss of freedom because of the change. Maybe your home isn’t accessible for you now. My advice is still the same.

Where are you now?

10 of Pentacles - You’ve started to get connected with disability support groups and disability justice groups. You’ve been learning how to use your mobility aid, how to do repairs, how to make your home accessible or find a place that is accessible, how to raise money and get financial support, how to get around town, and overall do what you need to do. You’re making connections with new wonderful people who make your life better than it was before. You’re learning what community is and what it means to have one. I feel like someone has shown you how to decorate your mobility aid so it’s more fun and ✨you✨. Get crafty! 🧶🎨🪡 You’re humbled by all the love you’re receiving just because you exist, that you don’t have to “earn” it. That’s how love has always worked, you just didn’t know yet.

What is coming into your conscious awareness?

5 of Swords reversed - You’re no longer engaging in battles that make 0 progress for your relationships, and only make you feel hurt and exhausted from the stress. You’re letting go of eugenist believes you’ve been taught to have, and drawing strict boundaries with eugenists / people with eugenist & ableist beliefs. You’re analyzing what you have have time for, what you have spoons for, and frankly you feel good cutting all that harmful crap out. You’re learning how precious your peace is, and that it’s worthy of protection, respect, and regard.

Quote Your purpose or passion or "thing" doesn't have to become your work. It doesn't have to be something you make money from. Sometimes the things we love doing need space to be what they are without having to make them into something formalized. - Dr. Rebecca Ray Affirmation I don't have to make money for it to matter. Journal What did I love doing as a child that I no longer make time for?

🦢 ♥︎ much love - Glenda ♥︎ 🦢 ★☮︎★ support people affected by Jan 2025 LA wildfires ★☮︎★ support incarcerated firefighters ★☮︎★

header image: click here // footer image: Jan Brett's book The Mitten // pngs: click here // dividers: click here // I do not consent to my writing, blog’s likeness, or anything associated with my work, to be used to teach any machine learning software and artificial intelligence for any purpose.

[unkillable-gays]

Unpopular opinion: by FAR the most interesting thing about Monty is his fucked-up relationship with Esther. And the forced transformation thing.

I thought I was completely bored by him as character, but then I realized shipping him with the main boys just doesn't really resonate with me, cause, like. He is still learning how to be a person. (Both in terms of thinking independently from Esther, and, like. Physically he's only been in a human body for a few days! 😅)

He wants Edwin because Esther designed him to. Like, yes, he eventually fell for him beyond her influence, but he was literally MADE to seduce Edwin, like. It's hard to argue he has agency there.

idk, I'm not trying to be a hater, but i think exploring Monty's relationship with Esther and his own body and autonomy is much more interesting than shipping him.

There's also the whole question of how much he's even capable of independent thought? Like, does he have human-sized thoughts inside his crow brain? And if so, is that only post-transformation, or has he always had that capability? When he's in human mode, how much of him is still just a bird puppeteering a vessel and following orders?

What does it even mean for him to be Esther's familiar? How old is he, really? Has she killed him before? Has he been any other animals, besides human and crow? Did he start out as a normal bird, or did she create him, like some kind of homunculus?? Was he ORIGINALLY a boy???

[rays-animorphs]

The dynamic between Ax and Jake is really something.

"Prince Jake"/"don't call me prince"/"yes, Prince Jake."

"I don't really understand how this human/American thing of having a leader with no authority works, so I'm going to project my expectations of military hierarchy onto you. We're going to have a relationship on my culture's terms."

"No, we're going to have a relationship on MY culture's terms, where I only have the power that my teammates decide to give me and they never actually have to do what I want and I can't do anything about it. You have to respect a request to call me the way I want to be called by the terms of my culture."

"Hmm, well you're my commanding officer by Andalite military standards so I have to do what you say, but also by those standards you can't absolve yourself of that role, so tough shit, prince. I will do (more or less) anything you tell me to, but I won't change my understanding of what our dynamic is because Andalite princes don't actually get to just turn over the entire military hierarchy so you don't get to do that either. And also, I want our relationship to exist on my culture's terms, and not yours."

And "prince" has such a romantic feel to it, very Chronicles of Narnia. I imagine some part of Jake LOVES being called "prince". It's such a status thing, and who doesn't like status? But at the same time, setting aside what "prince" actually means to Andalites, Americans don't have "princes". Not having princes (or kings or queens or hereditary titled nobility or any of that) is kind of the whole American deal, it's what America is, so Jake can't be a prince and also get a good grade in Being An American (something that is normal to want and possible to achieve.) And I think Jake cares a great deal about being a good American.

So he can't just not act like a prince (it's not enough that he calls for votes on big decisions and basically lets things go without consequences when the other kids go off and do their own thing or deliberately do things he told them not to do) he has to tell Ax to not call him a prince, over and over again.

At first I was mildly annoyed that Applegate went and did the very cliche thing of having a somewhat diverse team but making a white boy in charge, because there is ALWAYS a white boy in charge, and while that's still a relevant media critique in general, I do think Applegate at least did some interesting things with having a white boy in charge. Because...you can tell Jake was raised (is being raised, he's not done yet) with the expectation that he's likely to end up in some kind of leader/power role in society, and all the adventure stories with a white boy leader that talk about what it means to be a GOOD leader, he internalized all that, he knew it was aimed at him, he's got the American equivalent of noblesse oblige in spades, he's got a very strong internal sense of what abusing his power would look like and he wants, really badly, to NOT abuse his power. (And wow, this would be a different story if the Animorphs had coalesced around a leader who didn't have that ethic.)

And just like El in the Scholomance trilogy is wary of taking even the first step on the road to becoming an evil sorceress of great destruction, Jake is wary of taking even the first step to being a dictator, the road that ends with him going "I'm making all the decisions here and you all have to do what I say or else." (Which might well have caused the end of the Animorphs and therefor lost the war to the Yeerks, if he had done that.) So he has to say no to the title, over and over.

[doe-eyed-disaster]

Reading the new Vulture article about Neil Gaiman's serial sexual abuse (and Amanda Palmer's complicity) has shaken me, maybe most viscerally in the way it describes the weird kind of normal that victims so often have to construct.

Many survivors of sexual violence do not process their experience as such, not at first. I was one of them. It's such a shock to the system that lots of us kind of just... erase it? Like the tape is fuzzy there or the file got corrupted or the footage is just abruptly missing for that stretch of time. You just go on and don't really account for that lost time.

I got changed and threw out the clothes I'd been wearing in a dumpster, came back to the room, and woke the rest of the band up to start loading the trailer so we could get to the next show. One of the men in that room had raped me only a few hours earlier.

One of my band mates was having marriage trouble and asked us, his friends and me, for advice. I gave him genuinely good insight and helped navigate a tough moment in the relationship. He had raped me less than 12 hours previously.

We played a show with some artists I looked up to. I was in the green room with them and him. He saw how excited I was to be talking to these people and started talking me up as a musician to them. He had raped me only a few weeks prior.

Who do you tell? Who can you tell? Who will believe you? Who will do something, anything, to help you? I wasn't talking to my family. I didn't have other friends. I didn't know anyone in the scene. I wasn't thinking explicitly in those terms, but they lurked in the back of my head, the kinds of things that redirect you out of any critical analysis.

Lots of things went unexamined: why I'd thrown those clothes out; why I was bleeding and bruised the next day; why I was still nursing those injuries weeks later. That sort of thing. I didn't think to wonder why I didn't like to let him out of my sight when we hang out. I didn't pay any mind to how I'd get so anxious that I could barely breathe if he walked behind me or between me and a door. I couldn't bear to think precisely *whose* hands I kept feeling around my waist and neck when I woke up in a panic.

And you just keep on with that fractured kind of normal for as long as it takes, every day that you can't admit it adding interest to the emotional devastation. You wonder sometimes "am I crazy? I must be. Normal people don't feel that way." You deflect when the conversation veers too close. You feel afraid to label your experience *that* way because really it wasn't all that bad and I'm just exaggerating like I do.

And then one day you can't keep up the facade. Something slips. Someone sees something you didn't want them to. Someone comments and then doesn't buy the deflection. The details are different every time for every person, but two things are always true:

* you're gonna grieve hideously for the hideous thing that was done to you

* you're gonna have to deal with the thought that no one might ever believe you

It's a power thing. He had the power to do that to you. To me. To her. To them. That's what made you vulnerable. He wasn't suave or seductive or darkly brilliant. He was just stronger than you, more powerful. That's what keeps you quiet. He'll be able to shut the conversation down, deflect and move on, label you a libellous slut and call it a day with no more inconvenience than wiping off his shoes. He'll have friends that help him find his marks, who make him opportunities. He'll toss you right out and not think twice about doing it. My guy got to do it to me once, and it took everything in me to manage to keep it from happening again without *looking* like that's what I was doing. Sometimes though, when they're rich and powerful, they just get to keep doing and doing and doing. Dozens of times to dozens of women, every one of them living the same fractured reality that I and so many others have woken up into.

If you're reading the accusations against Neil Gaiman and wondering how it went on so long and so far, that's the whole equation: powerful men surrounded by enablers, living in a culture that sees their trauma as fodder for literary awards and ours as something so inconvenient to consider that it's easier to leave us all alone with nothing to console the sense that, even though you can't quite remember it, something terrible happened right where the tape skips.

[inseparabiles]

#<- THESE WERE MY THOUGHTS THE ENTIRE TIME CAUSE WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS TO HIM#WHY WOULD U PUT HIM THROUGH THIS PLEASE NO#in the two ive seen he just going *through* it too#neither of them are finished i think and hes still just at that point where he is having the worst time of his life whilst grieving#AND ITS MAKING ME SAD#😭😭#im so glad ur creating a fic where they both live cause so far the closest ive gotten to that is just. ghost geta#(he doesnt even interact with Caracalla he just kinda can watch his brother from beyond the grave until they meet again 😭😭)#i need more ppl to please let him keep his twin 🙏#well some ppl do but its purely incestuous smut so not what im looking to read ngl

THIS IS JUST HORRIBLE WHAT ARE OTHER PEOPLE DOING TO MY TWO SONS. WHY ARE THEY BEING MISTREATED. LET THEM BE TOGETHER AND HEAL AND GROW UP. to the degrees they can anyway. looking at Caracalla with so much love but also shaking my head

I love that you mention the ghost Geta story specifically as like, a near-midground between whatever the hell I'm doing and whatever the hell these other people are doing because it's actually the only story I'm peripherally aware of and it seemed sweet??? by what I saw??? But yeah no my heart cannot take any more grief and tragedy I'm straight up the hard rocky road along to FIX-ITS ONLY NOBODY DIES I WILL DIG YOUR COLD DEAD CORPSE UP MYSELF IF I HAVE TO AND IF IT HURTS ON THE WAY TO REDEMPTION THEN THE PAIN IS JUSTIFIED BY ITS GOALS

Also laughing at the last bit like. Of course it's y'all freaks who are putting weight on the side of "both twins survive" scale again. Our options, apparently: Caracalla dies because fixing him is too hard, Geta dies because Geta died and/or plot reasons(?? are there other people out there killing Geta I feel like Geta gets saved on principle), and nobody dies but it's by the graces of horny.

I don't know how and why this keeps happening, but no matter what fandom I'm in, I'm somehow always aligned with the brotherfucking group. And I keep doing the same thing every place I go, too, where it's like, I'm so aware of that happening to the left of me but my interests are squarely like an inch to the right, so I end up just awkwardly shuffling next to the incest writers like

and sweating profusely while at it.

I guess this fandom is not helped by the fact that the accusation of incest kind of comes with the title of Emperor and the franchise itself has leaned into it very heavily. Romans have left us a legacy.

And just the fact also that last time I posted something, there wasn't even a platonic tag for Geta and Caracalla.

Which gives me the freedom to rant about a tangent - I feel so weird about tagging my shit on AO3 because of the way I see their relationship. I thought about this when I posted my first fic, like, should I just go ahead and be the change the world needs to see with the & tag instead of /? And I deliberately went no, because it isn't exactly what I'm writing, either, and it somehow feels less accurate than the /. It's been a PAIN to tag for this fandom with these two, because I don't think what I'm writing or what I'm seeing is platonic, in the sense that people expect platonic to be, or in the sense that any healthy normal relationship would be. Tagging my fics with an & makes me worry I'm going to unintentionally trigger the shit out of someone who came there looking for something that it absolutely wasn't. But the relationship also isn't romantic or sexual by a long shot. It's something really fucked up in a grey area that isn't even between those two things but a category on its own. When your dedicated, devoted, loving and emotionally exclusive partnership is with a person who isn't a romantic partner but isn't not a partner at the same time. What the fuck do you even call that. I instinctively go with the slash tag, but by doing that, I'm misleading literally everybody who reads my stories, because slash implies there's going to be sexual or romantic content. But there isn't and it wasn't intended to be read that way per se, either. And queerplatonic still to me heavily implies no blood relation and referring to a sibling relationship as queer inherently gives off not great vibes, not that there was a relationship tag for that even if it fit somehow. It's just in that weird fucking no man's zone, off the charted maps.

Like. There's platonic, dedicated, loving relationships off to the right from where I'm sitting. They exist but there's a degree of sanity involved in that which is NOT found between these two. Then there's the brotherfucking community to the left doing their own thing. And then there's me in the middle, writing about twins who I can best describe as being one soul that the gods separated into two bodies.

What. The fuck. Do you call that. When you're tagging.

How do I categorise my stories without misleading literally everybody all of the time. It's horrible. I'd post my content without tagging it as ANYTHING if that was a viable course in terms of finding readership, but it isn't.

I love that one of my dream careers would be in archiving, given how much I clearly suck at the job already.

unhinged concept (I'm entering that stage): Lucilla actually does adopt Geta and Caracalla which ruins Acacius's life but also makes him their step-father and they finally get an actual father figure who teaches them how the fuck to hold swords and not be the worst people ever.

and we just cancel Macrinus entirely, which, I don't know what the hell happens to Lucius but that's someone else's unhinged concept to worry about.

And we put Caracalla on a leash because the boy cannot behave. That's no way to treat your mother

[butchpeace]

I want to have an important discussion: This is a disclaimer that I'm not seeking to cause trouble but need to get this off my chest. I've seen you give advice to many young women on here and hope you have something to say here. Of course, feel free to delete the ask if it's too much. I'm a heterosexual female who spent time in radical feminist spaces as a teenager. Growing up, I struggled with being the only female in a socially conservative, religious and immigrant household. The trifecta of hell. I started wishing to be a boy ever since I was a young girl because I hated how I was treated for being female by my family.

I got into radical feminist spaces as a teenager, after my brief stint as a trans-identified female and, I can honestly say, it didn't help in a way that mattered. Sure, it was nice to have other women who related to my experience, but can we talk about the corrosive hatred that goes on in these spaces? It exacerbated my dislike and discomfort with being female with all the talk about being oppressed and hated systematically by men. How does a young, heterosexual girl process that and still go on to have healthy, normal relationship with men?

What's the end goal with radical feminism, exactly? A young girl peaks and is aware, but then what? Naturally, she'll have negative feelings towards men and the patriarchy, and because radical feminism is not interested in bridging understanding between men and women, we're left with two paths: we embrace the cope of trad women or we suffer more while "aware".

Let's face it: I genuinely don't believe that women's liberation is possible with an antagonistic view towards men or even at all. As much as I hate to say it, we see what happened to the women under Taliban. Men allowed and supported feminism for their own interest. If the male government didn't see value to it, it would have been crushed and done with. Men have been in power for centuries, across many, if not all aspects of the world. And they also have women (likely heterosexual) willing to support them because the path of least resistance is safer for them. I don't want to put down women here, but what else can I say?

I don't believe in female separatism and such a proposed, isolating and unrealistic "solution" makes me wonder if radical feminists know, acknowledge and work with the simple fact that the majority of women are heterosexual, so we have an innate attraction to men that wasn't "conditioned" and can't go away once you've gone to enough feminist meet-ups. Or is radical feminism realistically only for lesbians who can naturally decenter men romantically and be completely fine.

I still believe in radical feminism and its ideas. I don't believe men are innocent, but I'm trying to overcome my hatred towards them because it accomplished nothing. I'm realizing that radical feminism, in its current state, isn't providing answers for me, but I'm sure some other heterosexual women would agree. What's the solution here? I still think radical feminism is an important part of my life, but I'm also done sticking my head in the sand. It's really bringing back my old feelings of wanting to transition. Sorry for being a gender traitor.

I have a more nuanced look at all of this than some people do, so I don’t think everyone will agree with me. But…

Personally I believe that being aware of how patriarchal oppression works is always a net positive, even though it hurts to be aware. Understanding the problem is how we learn to fight back and change things.

I 100% hear what you’re saying though about toxicity in online communities and how the hatred and fear of men can snowball to an unnecessary degree. I see it too and I don’t like it. But generally that kind of attitude is coming from women who have been seriously harmed by men and need a place to vent about it. At what point these spaces and that attitude become unhealthy for them is an individual question.

So yeah there’s some bad vibes. But the solution isn’t to turn our backs on feminism. The solution is to shift to doing work that has real life meaning, and the potential to make real life change in the lives of women. Radical feminism wasn’t ever just about sitting in a room together and complaining about men. It’s about taking those feelings, and our understanding of gender oppression, and turning it into action. Whatever form that action takes.

I also think that the whole concept of separatism is poorly understood in the online community. Not many people are truly advocating for everyone to live in female-only communes and never interact with males. Although that is important for us to have as an option.

I think the general goal of separatism can be looked at more broadly - It’s about creating female only spaces that we can use when we need them. Domestic violence shelters, women’s organizations, even book clubs and female-only friend groups are all part of the goal. That way, separatism is woven into our daily lives in ways that support us and help us heal.

We need places where we can support each other’s mental and physical health, do consciousness raising, and talk about activism outside of male influence. That’s separatism.

At the very least, heterosexual women can benefit from temporarily having a female-only space after they’ve been victimized or harmed by a man. Eventually going back into the wider world and having relationships with men again shouldn’t be seen as a sign of betrayal. It’s natural for everyone to want love and companionship with someone they’re attracted to.

A lot of people would disagree with me on that last point, and say that male-attracted women should just never have sex or a relationship. I think that’s unrealistic, and the broader goal is to decenter men.

So many women put a man at the center of their world, put all their care and effort into that man, to the point that she isn’t taking care of herself and she’s disconnected from other women. That leaves her vulnerable to abuse and manipulation. That’s the problem that radical feminism wants to solve.

Thinking of it that way, the goal would be to take care of yourself first, cultivate female-only spaces and relationships, and essentially just put the men in your life secondary to your own wellbeing.

No shade at all to anyone, but I think a lot of women are using radblr as an “I hate men” space rather than really learning about what radical feminists were saying and trying to turn that into productive action.

Edit to add: Also, if you don’t find that you relate to radical feminism specifically, there are plenty of other schools of thought within feminism. “Radical feminism”, at least online, seems to me like it’s a catch all for everyone who doesn’t agree with the more mainstream form of liberal feminism. But we’re all individuals with our own ideas, forming our own opinions, and that’s what it’s all about! The important thing isn’t what label you use, it’s what you’re doing.

[eclipseberrycake]

Poly! MoonBerryCake x Reader Pt. 5

AN: I cannot believe my silly lil MBC ramblings have turned into this. This is a combination of that one request mentioning the "I may be an idiot, but I'm your idiot" and another requesting Witch! Reader! I kind of took some creative liberties because this idea just like...hit me and I was like. If i dont write this rn im gonna crash out. Again, don't look too hard into the logic of this, it's a toon world :)

-> Part one

-> Part Two

-> Part Three

-> Part Four

☁ Sprout knew, intimately so, at this point that you, his loving, darling, amazing partner, could be so, so dumb it was alarming you've lasted this long.

☁ He loves you. He does. So much it hurts. But you literally are the embodiment of every chaotic impulsive thought he's sure they've all had. The only difference is that you do it.

☁ Which. Come on. Like, there has to be a learning moment. Where you turn over a new stone or rock or however that saying goes and you don't toe the line of twisted RnD's boundary, keeping them awake just to tease the twisted since they couldn't reach you. There had to be.

☁ He should've known it was too good to be true, at the beginning of the relationship, when things went too smoothly for him. Too good to be true.

☁ Truthfully, you're all little demons. He knew you were all hiding it, but to see it in person? He's getting gray leaves.

☁ Astro likes to play this game where he follows whoever's distracting, most times you, to see how close he can get to the twisted without them noticing. It drives Sprout, and even Cosmo, nuts watching it even if they know he's practically invisible to the twisteds.

☁ That does not stop him from being seen every once in a while when he gets too cocky, but he's quick to evacuate the area while you get the twisteds attention once more.

☁ Every lecture seems to go in one ear and out the other though as the very next run, unless it's a blackout, he's doing it again. (So maybe I play like this what of it-).

☁ Cosmo is normally pretty clever about how he does runs and is often the least of his worries. Unless there's a call for a bandage.

☁ From there it's like a race between him and Cosmo. Cosmo immediately drops whatever he's doing and takes off towards the source of the call. Sprout as well has to take off because sure enough, Cosmo doesn't take into account it's in the area you're distracting in, and Sprout can only watch as you realize he's in the area, panic to figure out an alternative route, get smacked by a twisted Teagan as Cosmo nearly gets bit by the Twisted Boxten.

☁ All of that for a bandage. For Cosmo who was at full health.

☁ Sprout has to step in, calling the Twisted's attention with a spare airhorn he found, giving you the chance to recover as Cosmo passes you a treat and a frantic apology, quickly leaving the area as he slaps said bandage on.

☁ The twisteds are returned to you as Sprout ducks behind a wall, trying to ease the rapid pounding of his heart. He cannot keep having the same conversations.

☁ Cosmo is unlike Astro as he shows actual remorse, immediately apologizing and saying that he wasn't thinking he just didn't want anyone else to take it, turning on the waterworks as he burrows into Sprout's scarf.

☁ You're already saying they're crocodile tears (They are) with Astro snickering at the action, but Sprout is a weak man. He falls for it every time, immediately breaking and cooing that it was just an accident and these things happen, Cosmo just needs to be more careful.

☁ And then there's a call for a med-kit the next floor and it happens ALL OVER AGAIN.

☁ So, yeah, you're all demonic gremlins and Sprout is the unfortunate victim of it. He's just as bad outside of runs though, don't worry.

☁ But you. Oh you. Are by far. The worst for his heart.

☁ He already doesn't like the fact that as a distractor, you're constantly in danger, but you know what he doesn't like more? The fact that you don't seem to take it as serious as you should.

☁ He's lost count of how many times you've run past him, shouting some sort of argument with Goob who was also distracting. How you've paused to emphasize a point and Goob's had to snatch you to save you from getting hit.

☁ Or how many times you've climbed onto a table, out of the twisted's reach but close enough to keep their attention, hands on your hips as you go on about some theory you heard about.

☁ He won't admit it, but his favorite thus far is that Dandy's actually bald and the petals are all fakes.

☁ Or the one where you claim Twisted Toodles has rabies, while Twisted Toodles snaps and snarls at your feet, clawing at the table.

☁ And when you're back in the elevator, and he's got you corner, going on and on about how idiotic of a move that was and why would you even think of doing that? You give him a grin and a cheeky smile.

☁ "I may be an idiot, but remember. I'm your idiot. FOREVER." You'd preen, cackling as he debates between throttling you or kissing you enough you're too dazed to think about running and he has to drag you behind him the next floor.

☁ Little did Sprout know that a turning point would come.

☁ He knew Dandy and you had your differences, as you were managing to get the research needed and reclaiming the other toons back to the good side while spending the minimal amount of tapes. (Not that it helped when a certain survivalist toon was on the run, but he digresses.)

☁ This time however, you were adamantly refusing to hand over any tapes and Dandy was close to crashing out. His eye was twitching as he glowered at you, you're own sneer rivaling his. "Why should I give you the tapes if I can give them to Sprout?" You'd snarl, making Dandy slam his hands on the desk.

☁ "Fine! Be that way then!" He snapped, yanking on the lever to bring him back down.

☁ "Was that really our best move?" Vee raised a brow at the closed hatch, nudging it with her foot.

☁ "Maybe we could've spared some for a stopwatch or something." Gigi added, reaching into her head to pull out a can of pop. "I don't know if his twisted form is something I'm all too excited to deal with."

☁ While Sprout agreed, he also didn't want Dandy to win. But still, Dandy's twisted form was lethal and he didn't fancy seeing your twisted form. Not after Astro had told him how even you, yourself, had feared it and what it was capable of.

☁(Guys not to spoil anything, but you'll never guess what else is in the works from that line alone lol)

☁ They hadn't seen any clones of your twisted form yet, but weren't eager to.

☁ You gave a wave of your hand dismissively. "Nah, it looks big but it really isn't that bad."

☁ None of them looked convinced.

☁ You groaned, rolling your eyes. "Fine! if he shows up. I'll make sure to stick to an area Astro and a healer can remain nearby." You pout, though between him and the other two, Sprout can tell you're a little hurt.

☁ No matter what you do, or how you distract, you're number one priority is their safety. If there's a serious twisted, you're immediately doing a one-eighty, distracting like a pro. You only goof off when their twisteds you know inside and out. To have them doubt for even a second you wouldn't give up your own sanity for them, probably stings.

☁ Frowning, he sets a hand on your shoulder, tilting your chin up with his other hand. "You got this, bud. We know you do. We just wanna be a little cautious when it comes to Dandy."

☁ And he knows you know that, making you frown a bit more before huffing. "I know."

☁ Cosmo is quick to wrap his arms around you, giving you a bright smile. "Besides, you know how much we love watching you distract anyway."

☁ Which too a degree was true. They loved seeing you in your element, thriving and shining like a shooting star.

☁ By the time Sprout is looking back, you're smothered between Astro and Cosmo, pushing away their murmurs of praise with bundles of laughter bursting from you. It makes him grin.

☁ But then the elevator stills and opens, only there's no footsteps. There's no signs of any twisteds at all actually. No commons, no passives, no mains. Just...empty. It's unsettling.

☁ With a look to each other, you and Goob are the first to step out, remaining cautious of the room around you. When you both make it into the center area, the rest slowly step out.

☁ "Is this a free floor?" Finn asks, nervously fiddling with his fingers.

☁ "Even free floors have twisteds." Vee answers, bringing her mic in front of her and tapping it. "Is this thing working?"

☁ Nothing is highlighted save for a small, wrapped up bundle near the broken elevator.

☁ Since you're faster than Goob, you slowly step forward, you're entire body tense as you spot said bundle.

☁ Astro and Sprout remain close enough they can target you if needed with Goob on standby in case the worst happens. None of them have ever seen anything like this before and have no idea what it even is.

☁ Vee, Finn and Gigi move on to finish three of the machines with the fourth primed right next to elevator, all giving the signal to go.

☁ So you do. You walk up to it and begin by kicking it slightly. It doesn't move and you move to poking it. When nothing happens, you pick it up, examining it before slowly moving to open it. By the time the beige paper wrapped around it is pulled away, you're left with a small glass bottle. It looks like a smoke bomb.

☁ Rolling your eyes, you're already whining about how a smoke bomb got you all so riled up, dropping it front of you and watching it erupt into purple smoke around your figure.

☁ In hindsight, that should've been a sign. The final machine is finished and the elevator re appears, a few scattered giggles ringing out at the fluke floor.

☁ But you aren't laughing like normal.

☁ Sprout notices immediately, glancing at Astro and Cosmo, who are already looking at him. They've noticed it too.

☁ Just as they're about to say something, the cards plop down, and you immediately vote on the Penny pincher one, turning to them with a soft, almost strained smile.

☁ "Are you...feeling okay, bud?" Sprout asks, watching as Astro rests the back of his hand on your forehead. His grimace does little reassure them.

☁ "Do you need a heal?" Cosmo pipes up next, placing a hand on Sprout's shoulder as he does. "Or a pop? Maybe you have low blood sugar."

☁ You shake your head, which seems like a bad move as you sway, Astro having to catch you as you stumbled.

☁ "Okay, I'm calling it-" Sprout's declaring as he steps towards the lever to return to the lobby before you're stopping him with a call of his name.

☁ "Sprout! No, I'm fine, just a little dizzy! It'll pass. We need the shelly research!" You had been positively adamant on getting shelly back since getting Vee, knowing she was the last main. They were sure it's because you knew Shelly and Astro were good friends and that was probably influencing your need to get it done as fast as possible.

☁ "Starlight, I'm sure it can wait." Astro adds, holding you much closer as you continue to sway. "You can barely stand upright and you have a fever. How long have you been feeling unwell?"

☁ "I was fine!" Your face scrunches as you fight for balance. "I promise. I don't know what happened!"

☁ The voting ends and everyone is immediately rewarded with the tapes. Most are handed right over to Sprout, who pockets them in case of an emergency, but there's a disturbance. He can't feel the energy of the tapes as well as Dandy, or even Pebble for that matter, but he can tell the magic within them is wavering somewhere. Looking over, he can tell where.

☁ "Bud?" He prods once more, and your head shakes again, this time taking our your legs as punishment for the movement. Astro once more catches you as Sprout demands the run be finished, Vee already at the lever, while Cosmo leaves his side to check you over.

☁ By all accounts, on the surface, you're fine. But Sprout can tell. He can feel it in the wave the magic of the tapes seems to cling to you. Looking at Astro, he can tell too.

☁ Maybe bringing you away from the tapes until...whatever this is passes is for the best, despite your refusals.

☁ The elevator is brought up and Astro scoops your form into his arms and against his chest, carrying you out and in the direction of your room.

☁ "You guys are as stubborn as mules!" You scoff out, struggling against the hold your in. "I'm fine. It was a dizzy spell! It-" You pause as you groan, curling into yourself and making Astro freeze. Sprout and Cosmo are right there, hands already buzzing with energy, yet, it's not needed.

☁ With the close proximity, he can feel the magic in the tapes get yanked, pulled into a physical manifestation. Then there's a scream. Looking over, they watch Finn scramble to get away as a donkey manifests itself in front of him. It's made out of tree bark and sticks with leaves for a mane, standing there and giving a bored bleat.

☁ You look over at it from Astro's shoulder, blinking at it and everyone's gaping face before wilting. "Okay, maybe it wasn't just a smoke bomb."

☁ There's a flurry of motion as Toodles runs towards her newly proclaimed pony, naming it Oakley of all things. Rodger is rushing, trying to pry her away while the others are trying to figure out just where Oakley came from.

☁ None of you stick around, the boys quickly bringing you to the bedroom and setting you on the bed. You look marginally better, leaning against Astro, who strokes your fur back, even as he watches Sprout pace in front of the bed. Cosmo is fiddling with his hands, standing to the side and bouncing in place as he opens his mouth over and over again, trying to find the words.

☁ Finally, the cake roll settles on, "What was that?"

☁ This stalls Sprout as he pauses, whirling on his heel to face you. "You used tape magic. How'd you do it?"

☁ You raise a brow at this, silently asking him to continue. He does so. "The only non-main who can use tape magic is Teagan. But she can't extend that to anyone or anything but herself. That's exclusive to mains. So how-" He pauses, brows furrowing. "The thing- the thing on the floor on that last floor!"

☁ It's like an epiphany. " But that-" He stalls, swallowing before shaking his head. He'd look into it further. "What are you feeling now? Better at all?"

☁ You hum for second, rolling your head as you take inventory. "A little better. Sore, but...better." You answer. "I didn't know I could do that."

☁ "Could it really be a side effect from...whatever that was?" Cosmo asks.

☁ "Hard to say. Like Sprout said, using Tape magic to influence anything but yourself is exclusive to mains." Astro frowns, taking in the information. "Which brings up an assortment of questions about your history and that object. Perhaps it's turned you into a momentary main."

☁ "I don't feel different though!" You exclaim, Sprout catching one of the hands you flung up. He pokes at your palms and fingers, finding soft pads of flesh. You yank it back. "I've always had those!" You defend.

☁ "Easy, bud, I was making sure they weren't injured." He soothes and you reluctantly let him look at them again.

☁ "Can you do it again?" Cosmo asks. "Like... It happened because you were thinking of an animal right? And that animal showed up? Can you do it again?"

☁ "I don't know if we should be testing this. We're unaware of what it needs or what it entails-" Astro quickly cuts in, but it's too late as you immediately shout out "Cat!" and like magic, a cat plops into Astro's lap.

☁ All of you stare at the thing, which is made up of whipped cream and cake, strawberries making up it's flickering ears and a blueberry for a nose. When it mews, Sprout stumbles back, tripping over himself as Cosmo screeches, poor Astro caught between being trapped by the thing and staying with you.

☁ You immediately coo at it, picking it up, and snuggling into it as it gives you a happy purr, licking your face. When you pull it away, you give your best puppy dog eyes, staring at your gaping boyfriends. "Can we keep them?"

☁ "Where did that come from?!" Sprout exclaims, hands coming up to yank at his leaves while Astro's mouth hands open, hands hovering as if unsure what to do at this point. If this was the stress he brought to Sprout's life, he owed the berry so many apologies because what.

☁ Cosmo was the first to recover before slowly crawling onto the bed, making you turn to face him with the creature. It continued purring happily, sniffing at the offered hand before nuzzling into it, prompting Cosmo to pet it. "I mean...It doesn't look dangerous."

☁ "It literally came out of nowhere." Astro gaped, watching as you transferred the cat from your arms to Cosmo's, who let it lick at his face. "That's a cat. There's a cat."

☁ Digging through his wallet, Sprout's eyes nearly bulge out of his head. "The tapes. You used my tapes-" He's not upset, not at all, but that kind of reach was really unheard of.

☁ "There's a cat." Astro repeats once more, standing as he runs two of hands through his fur. "Oh my stars, there's a cat. In our room."

☁ "Do you not like cats?" Cosmo asks, tilting his head as the...creature crawls onto his shoulder if only to jump to his head, giving soft licks to the icing on top. It makes the cake roll laugh, which you're echoing before turning to Astro. "I'm sorry. If I had known I would've chosen a different animal. We don't have to keep it I promise."

☁ Astro blinks, as if stunned by that's what you two were hung up on. "What? No. No, I don't mind cats, but starlight. My star, my sun, my galaxy," Astro takes a breath as his hands fall, save for one that rubs between his eyes. "You made a cat appear out of literal thin air. That's a...That's impossible in actuality."

☁ "Super impossible." Sprout agrees, watching the thing strut from Cosmo's head to jump onto yours. You go cross-eyed trying to look up at it, grinning as it meows at you with one paw landing on your cheek so it can lick at your head. You giggle at it before grabbing it, holding it against you as it seems to burrow into your chest. He's man enough to admit that he's jealous of the cat, sneering at it.

☁ "Well, evidently not." Cosmo snickers, using his fingers to poke at the cat's paws. Their paw pads are made of jelly beans and Sprout has to admit it's a little cute. Running a hand down his face, he groans, only to glare at Astro as he gentle runs a hand down the cat's head, getting a thankful lick in return. "Astro!"

☁ The celestial looks startled at being caught, looking at Sprout before shrugging. "You gotta admit. It's a cute little thing."

☁ "It's a she!" You add, almost unhelpfully. "You know, if you think about it, it's kind of like our child!"

☁ You make it an Olympic sport to see how fast you can get all three of them varying degrees of flustered, Sprout swears on it. He's left stammering, looking for help from Astro-who's blue screened, blinking blankly at the cat who paws at his still hand- and Cosmo- who's too busy hiding his face in a pillow.

☁ cool. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. This was fine. Taking a breath, Sprout urges himself to push whatever feelings that were bubbling in him at the action down, taking a soothing breath. "Bud, that's a cat." And because he couldn't help himself, he added, "Plus, we know our kid would look much cuter."

☁ You flush, just as he expected you too, hiding your face in the cat. The only thing you can come up with is, "Dandy got a dog. Why can't I have a cat?"

☁ "Because it won't stop at a cat." Sprout has to explain, thinking back to Oakley in the living room. "What if the next time it's- I don't know- a dinosaur?!"

☁ "It won't be a dinosaur." You argue back. "Maybe a friend for Custard."

☁ "We are not naming her Custard!" Sprout hisses only to groan as he realized you caught him in your trap, hearing your "a-hah!' proclaiming victory.

☁ "So we can keep her!" You cheer, even if Sprout is debating suffocating you in your sleep later. "No! We can't! Because then it's one, then two! Then we're crazy cat people!"

☁ "We would not-"

☁ "If that were the case, wouldn't we already have a dog, dinosaur and like at least two more cats?" Cosmo suddenly pops up, his cheeks still very rosy.

☁ "True, we got...her, simply by Y/N mentioning a cat and Oakley by them saying the word Mule. It hasn't happened again and I still have all of my tapes." Astro adds on, smoothing out his fur and hair, readjusting his cap. "Maybe it's worn off."

☁ "Quick, before it's too late try for a cat again!" Cosmo eagerly demands, despite both Sprout and Astro shouting 'No!' at the prospect.

☁ You ignore them, shouting out cat once more. The only reaction you get is the cat in your arms pawing at you. You slump, frowning at losing the aspect. "Dang." You sigh. "Well, at least we got you out of it."

☁ "We can't get rid of her!" Cosmo pleads, handing off your shoulder to look up at Astro and Sprout, who cast a glance at each other. "I promise I'll be more careful on runs if we keep her!" He adds quickly.

☁ "Oh! Me too!" You add, joining Cosmo in giving them the puppy dog eyes.

☁ With a heavy groan, Sprout looks at Astro, who's smiling softly at the two of you. When the celestial looks over, Sprout knows he's lost him. "...It's just one cat."

☁ Sprout groans again, looking up to the roof as if there's some being up there seeing the same bullshit he's seeing. They're probably laughing at him.

☁ "Fine! But we're not naming it Custard! And I expect you to keep your promises or I swear I'm going for that favorite Uncle award and giving Toodles a new pet." He finally relents, extending a finger to the cat, who licks it before jumping into his arms as you and Cosmo cheer. For what it was worth, that cat was pretty cute.

☁ The cat ends up being names Blueberry cake (get it get it-), Blu for short. She's a happy-go-lucky kitty who purrs and licks everyone when one of you is in the room, only to throw an absolute hissy fit when you leave. If Blue is left alone with anyone without having you, Cosmo, Sprout or Astro in sight, she refuses to let anyone touch her, hissing and swatting at anyone brave enough. The second one of you return though, she's all purrs and happy mews.

☁ She sleeps on pebble who sleeps on your bed, sorry I don't make the rules.

☁ Oakley is still around too, but stays outside where he prefers it. You obviously earned worlds greatest aunt/uncle/nibling for that, even if Rodger curses your name for it. Toodles loves it and thats the most important part.

☁ Blu also comes on runs sometimes! The first time it happens, it was an accident, but one that Sprout begrudgingly appreciates as she has an uncanny ability to sniff out tapes no matter how hidden they are.

☁ And before you ask, yes. Sprout absolutely is the dad that said he didn't want a pet and would now literally kill a man for Blu.

☁ As you said after all, she's pretty much your child :)

[logicallabyrinth]

Platonic yan? Either with the mafia, professor or doctor

I'm just gonna do all 😇 (kill 3 birds with one stone). I'm assuming your asking for headcanons??

Platonic yan! Mafia (Sebastian Silver)

As the head of a powerful mafia organization, Sebastian takes "protective" to a whole new level. No one dares to even glance you, not even by accident, because the consequences are always swift and brutal.

He insists on keeping tabs on your whereabouts at all times. Sometimes through his men or subtle surveillance, you're never truly alone.

His version of affection involves expensive gifts. Sometimes it's not even practical. It’s not unusual for a brand-new car, an entire wardrobe, or even a small business in your name to appear out of nowhere.

If you ever try to assert your independence, he’s quick to remind you of the “dangers” outside. “The world isn’t kind. Let me take care of things.”

Any sign of disloyalty, even unintentional, is met with a hurt expression and an intense lecture about how much he’s done for you. He doesn’t get angry. Just disappointed... and that guilt works like a charm.

He’s not above eliminating people from your life if he feels they’re “bad influences.” Like friends who overstep your boundaries or question his relationship with you tend to disappear without explanation.

Platonic yan! Professor (Prof. Victor Grayson)

Dr. Grayson amazing academically, but his attachment to you is far from normal. He’s obsessed with your potential and will go to any lengths to ensure you succeed, on his terms of course.

He insists on tutoring you personally, claiming no one else understands your learning style like he does. These sessions often go far beyond academics, with him subtly prying into your personal life. These questions might seen innocent at first, but overtime they get worse.

Your success is his success. Every achievement of yours is celebrated with an intensity that feels suffocating, as though your life is a reflection of his own worth.

He’s manipulative, using guilt or intellectual arguments to keep you dependent on him. “You’re capable of so much, but you’ll squander it without proper guidance. Trust me, I know what’s best.”

Any sign of rebellion is met with quiet but firm discipline. He’ll lower your grades, “misplace” important papers, or subtly sabotage your reputation just to steer you back into his control.

He has a way of making you feel like his guidance is a privilege, something you should be grateful for. “Most students would kill for my attention. You’re lucky I see something special in you.”

Platonic yan! Doctor (Dr Nathaniel Callas)

Dr. Callas is outwardly charming and caring, but his obsession with your well-being, actually you in general, is far from healthy. Every minor symptom you mention is going to throw him into a spiral.

He keeps detailed records of your health, far more thorough than needed, and refuses to let any other doctor near you. “No one knows your case like I do. Trust me, they’ll only mess things up.”

He insists on controlling every aspect of your health. From your diet, exercise, sleep schedule, and even your social habits. He frames it all as concern for your “long-term well-being.”

If you resist him, he uses his medical expertise as leverage, subtly threatening you with dire consequences. “Ignoring this could have catastrophic results. Do you really want to risk it?”

His office becomes a second home for you, whether you want it to or not. He always has an excuse to keep you there. “just a quick check-up” or “a follow-up to monitor your progress.”

You’re never sure how much of his care is genuine and how much is an excuse to keep you close. Either way, you know better than to challenge him. His calm, professional demeanor hides a dangerous determination.

Any sign of you prioritizing someone else’s advice over his sends him into a quiet spiral. He won’t lash out, but his disappointment is palpable, and he might even “find” something concerning in your test results to reel you back in.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Hey cas!!!

So i just wanted to start this by saying i LOVE your fics and clandestine is my favourite and i LOVE the way youve done regular and sirius relationship and i think it was done PERFECTLY and it makes me so happy

Also this is going to have VERY little punctuation so i apologise in advance

''Punctuation who is she? We dont know her?''

I dont know how to start this so in just going to jump right in

So basically im gender fluid and i have a different name which my old friend group took pretty badly so i had to move groups. Its okay tho cuz i wasnt without one for more than like a minute because a friend (who well call K for the purpose of this) was also on the gc (which i came out on after coming out at a sleepover about maybe a week before and they ignored it) which i made to come out onto and she basically adopted me

But i still miss them so much and message them things that remind me of them and its sad

Also they told me i give shitty friendship so i get what im given

But now heres the problem

I still think about prom (its one of my favourite things to think about) but o still want to wear a dress. Like no matter what gender day it is i still want a dress. And so i feel kind of fake. Like after all this shit im still faking it. And it makes me feel really guilty that im not 'normal' if you know what i mean?

Anyhoe this has just been really bothering me recently. Like more than normal

Also heres a fox because theyre my favourite animal and i want to share how much i love it lmao 🦊

Hi! Thank you for the love!

First of all, if your friends don't accept your for who your are and aren't willing to learn, they're bad friends. No matter what you've done.

As far as prom- there's nothing wring with wearing a dress, it doesn't make you fake at all! You're not faking it just because you want to wear a dress <3 I'm genderfluid and I'd highkey wear a dress to my prom if I was in high school again. Plus, you can always play around with your hair/makeup depending on how you're feeling that day!

Remember that gender and gender expression are different and it's okay to express your gender however you choose <3

[imaginable-horror]

Absolutely gagged. Need to know what's happening right now. How have we done this. Also, Camilla, babe, I don't think the sword through the stomach is good for you...

Screaming. Screaming forever and ever and ever and ever afshdjkskalkzhsk

Something wrong with her. Like. Psychologically. Honestly kind of real for that though

Hiiiiiii Gideoooonnnn~~~

Sobbing over the implication of this. Just think about the implications!!!

Aaaaaaaaaa

Hm. No wonder John doesn't have many friends if he thinks that's a normal and equal transaction. Mince pies are less than $5 even if he is living in the terrible horrible future times

Ah! Here's where the Alecto Barbie stuff came from

These little last page exchanges on John's segments always get me. But also like. John's telling a story about the terrible and horrible past and ends it with "and then I killed everyone ever on the entire planet and surrounding planets :) My only regret is being too slow to kill more people, the ones moving off the planet. The end!!"

Cryinggggg. These are so too close to marriage rights I'm cryinggggg. Their weird little codependent platonic relationship to which they are so fully devoted. They're everything to meeee.

Also, the following actions are absolutely buck wild but also make so much sense for them and have been sewn throughout the rest of the book so I really shouldn't have been surprised. Of course these two would be the ones to figure it out. If course they'd choose the fucking name Paul. It actually feels so right for them, if you detach all context of other guys you know names Paul, that it.

Gonna start reading Nona The Ninth now. Guys, I'm scared. Ahhhhhh.

It's been a hot minute since I read Harrow and Gideon so not my fault if I'm stupid and have no idea who anyone is. We have managed to avoid spoilers for the most part but I was, however, unable to resist the allure of art and text posts wandering across my dash so here's what I know going in:

Nona in Harrow's body

Nona kisses Gideon??? Gideon back???!!

Pyrrha? Fully in Gideon's body?? Presumably the other Gideon? The first??

There's a cow wall?!? Wall made of cows. Wtf, Jod?? I have no context for this???

Also, necromancers might be evil?? I feel like our buddy John was kind of giving those vibes anyway but I have no idea what I'm about to read

[vole-mon-amour]

video

In the ending where Sean dies and Daniel makes it to Mexico, Daniel definitely loses a part of himself without Sean. He remembers him, sure, but he still gets corrupted by all the crime. It looks like a local gang takes him in because of his power, but he looks SO different. At least I'm glad he doesn't kill those people, only threatens them.

I'm glad he picks up drawing, too, and gets good at it.

This ending still feels wrong, though. Not only he has to pickpocket and survive on his own, and grown up in all that violence, he has to do it without a parent figure or his brother. I mean, with Sam and Nathan, at least Nathan had his brother, they were inseparable, and Nathan lost Sam when he was already 18-20. So no longer a kid.

This ending absolutely destroyed me, even thinking about it makes me cry now. I'm curious if my playthrough was enough to go with this ending. I mean, my Daniel already refused to hurt more people, so I think it might've been my ending if I went with "Surrender".

Funny thing: my first thought at the border was: "Do I surrender?" I googled and saw a happy Mexico outcome and went, "Screw it. Go to Mexico."

Maybe I should have went with this one. It's not as bad as I expected it to be, honestly, Sean even seems to release a comic book with/for Daniel from prison. And the way both Lyla and Daniel waited for his release all that time, and no doubt visited him. Reminds me of Sam and Nate sooo much.

However, the way the go hiking in the same forest they had to spend the night in as kids, and Sean breaks down by the fire, and how Daniel holds him. The way they hug before going for their own, separate cars, and Daniel sits there for a while, trying not to cry.

The way prison seemed to be break Sean. A fifteen year long sentence for crimes he didn't even commit. I mean, what did he do? Protected Daniel from a racist bully and killed him by mistake? Stole some gear from a racist owner to survive with Daniel out in the woods? In my playthrough, killed some manipulative religious fanatic that wanted them to burn alive in that church? Sean never hurt that cop, it was Daniel. Plus, it wouldn't have happened if the racist cop didn't shoot the boys' dad for no reason.

Like, come on. Sean deserved better. This ending is heartbreaking and I need a fix it now.

The evil happy ending where, I assume, Daniel is taught to be put himself and his brother first, no matter the cost. Couldn't be my ending, for sure, I taught Daniel better than that.

But hey, when brothers hold hands. <3

Man, they're so evil. That Mexican couple in jail was right. Gangs, violence. I think Daniel is overall better with Sean with him, but it's still somewhat of an immoral outcome, I guess.

I mean, in the both surrender ending, Sean ends up with a white eye after prison and is overall more timid? In this ending, Sean has a black eye and he seems to be enjoying this kind of power and violence? Just look at that smirk. What is he going to do when his brother is not around to protect him?

Though they seem smarter than that. Maybe the meetings always happen at their shop? The way Sean knew how to act to show Daniel he's in danger. How truly worried and genuinely angry Daniel is over the thought of those people hurting his brother, how fast he comes to his aid. He literally breaks a dude's wrist for pointing a gun at Sean.

Plus, in this ending, Sean doesn't have the trauma of spending 15 years in prison for the crimes he didn't commit... Also, in this ending, you can just see how much Daniel loves his brother (just the example above proves it) and would do absolutely anything for him, no matter the cost. He still doesn't kill those people that threaten them, which I think is good, but he is heavily affected by this life.

But hey. Having a repair shop together, watching sunsets while sipping bear, holding hands, be together for life? If they have to be evil, at least they get to do it together, so not the worst outcome, either.

I think, judging by every outcome I've seen, including mine where Daniel surrender but makes a path for Sean, I'd say the ending where Daniel refuses to surrender while Daniel wants to do so, so Daniel gets Sean killed and has to survive on his own, might be the worst one. Yeah, he's free, but he's so, so alone. Most importantly, it seems that he's lonely, too, and can't trust anyone. Better the evil together ending than growing up alone in Mexico ending, while he's 10 years old and has to fetch for himself.

I also find it a bit weird that we don't get to see any meeting with the kids from chapter 3? In my ending, as I romanced Cassidy, Sean sends a pic of himself and her on the beach. You're telling me that if both brothers make it to Mexico, they don't find their way back to those people? That makes no sense. Plus, considering how evil they now are, they might just get along with Finn and his shitty ideas? If he doesn't get greedy again and want to steal from the brothers. 🙄

I didn't think I would, but I have so many thoughts on this game. I dislike a lot in it, the LIS series is still not for me due to the stories about kids and somewhat weird writing, but I'm not immune to brotherly love. After all, if Sean and Daniel didn't remind me of Sam and Nathan, I wouldn't play this game at all. So, I'm glad I did. Lots of potential in the endings.

I hope AO3 isn't empty. Having finished the game tonight, I'm very emotional about it.

[hopeswriting]

was thinking about takeshi and how he's my favorite brand of unconditional devotion btw. the utter and absolute and all-consuming kind that runs so deep to the very core and is so intrinsic and fundamental to it, it can only express itself in the most casual and natural and certain way. without second thoughts, without any room for doubts or for any moral dilemma to be had over it, because of course he ought to always be breathing and living for his chosen person first and foremost. of course he ought to hang on their every word and make them true no matter what, no matter what he has to do to make it happen, no matter what he has to do to other people to make it happen, and no matter what it might turn him into in the process. because it's obviously the way the world should be for his chosen person. at their feet, ready to bend over backwards and break and build itself again to better answer to all their needs even if they don't ask it for it. it's the only right way it should be for them, and of course takeshi's going to do his utmost at all times to make it a reality as much as possible.

and his devotion comes out as naturally as breathing, comes out lighthearted and nonchalant like he might as well be talking about the weather, but it's not unaware of itself. it's not that takeshi doesn't know it's unhealthy and wrong and that he's willing to go entirely too far in its name for anyone's good. it's not that he wouldn't hear you out if you were to sit him down and explain to him just why he needs to tone it down a little (a lot). logically, he'd agree with you and know you're right. and then he'd tell you he's still not going to do anything whatsoever about it. that he's not bothered by it and doesn't feel the need to change anything to his attitude. makes it a point to never let anyone or anything sway him even an inch in the stand he took when it comes to that, no matter how many thousand of times you might go over the subject with him.

because the morality of his devotion isn't the point at all. is entirely irrelevant to it and doesn't affect the way he expresses it all. it's not the metric with which he draws a line in the sand to hold it accountable to. because the thing is, takeshi's entire world revolves around tsuna--tsuna is his entire world altogether, and it's just a matter of fact, that simple. to him it's a truth as unchanging as the sky being blue, and so being the way he is according to that truth is the only way he can imagine being that'd feel right to him. and so the actual and only metric that matters here is "would tsuna be happier if i were to do this?" and/or "is this something tsuna needs me to do?"

and like. i don't think takeshi ever stops being a kind person capable of compassion and understanding and mercy and forgiveness even ten years later once they became mafia through and through. and i don't think either he grows up to be feared and called a monster per se despite the things they inevitably had to do during those ten years (and the things they'll inevitably keep having to do as long as they keep being mafia), at least not in the way, for example, they'll never stop fearing and calling mukuro one. but i do think that among the tenth gen, he ends up being the one with the most ruthless, merciless and horrific blood on his hands of that particular and distinct loving kind. you know the one i mean, right? he comes to be the one most expected and the one first expected to be willing and to take it upon himself to go through with it when the need arises. and to think little of it after, if anything at all. all in the name of making tsuna's reign as easy on him as possible.

and it's to the point where it's the kind of blood that makes even mukuro pause at times. or, when takeshi is the one coming up with solutions himself during meetings, makes even reborn blink. not because it's unjustified or wouldn't be safe or efficient or anything of the sort, but because it is unwarrantedly thorough in its retaliation. and sometimes, at times like this, he's the one tsuna needs to step in for the most, because he's the only one who can reason with him that "yes, this would work in getting rid of our problem" but "no, please, don't do that takeshi". because if tsuna is the only thing that infers on just how much and in what ways he'll let himself be devoted to him, then of course, he's also the only one takeshi's willing to reign himself in for without second thoughts. because he'd hate to ever do something tsuna would disapprove of or wouldn't want him to do. or do something that'd make tsuna see him differently or love him back less even in the slightest.

and it's also like. his devotion isn't an undisciplined one. it's not one he doesn't have control over, the very opposite. it's a very purposeful and conscious choice he chooses to keep making over and over again every step of the way, and he taught himself to have control over it, to know when it's needed and/or wanted, and how much and in which ways it is when it happens, and to keep it down otherwise. and, yes, to also reign it back in at tsuna's request at times when it still slips past his control. because it's all about making tsuna's happiness easier and secure and long-lasting, and never about burdening him with just how committed he is to do that.

so it comes down to this: takeshi willing to go above and beyond and more for tsuna unless tsuna explicitly asks him not to. and to tsuna needing to ask him not to every now and then. and to other people pointing out to him how too many times tsuna's already needed to stop him, and that maybe there's a hint for him to take there. and to takeshi seeing the hint, looking it straight in the eye and recognizing it for what it is and just. deciding it doesn't apply to him because it's all perfectly normal behavior to him. because it's the only kind of behavior that makes sense to him and feels right.

and so—to circle back to my first point—he can only express his devotion as naturally as breathing, so casually, almost like it's something inconsequential and not worth talking about despite how unmistakably it couldn't be further away from being the truth. it's the only way he could have always known how to express it, because, after all, who has ever taken time to ponder about the details and the hows of the way they breathe?

and i, for one, absolutely eat that shit up every time, thanks for coming to my ted talk <3