#I'm here to watch characters make fucked up choices and get sad

[imminent-danger-came]

Literally. No one. Has ever said Callum and Viren aren't foils. It's just that people who are rooting for Callum to fail don't understand what a foil is. Callum and Viren are foils not just because of their similarities, but also because of their differences.

One: People have said that directly to me in the saga-critical chat in the official tdp server.

Two: Callum and Viren are foils because of their differences, but also because they have similar flaws—and sometimes, characters succumb to their flaws. Characters fail, and that's not failing to "understand what a foil is", it's knowing that Callum is going to make similar mistakes as Viren, but ultimately will overcome them (at least in the context of their foil and tdp. Foils, despite their differences, can still meet the same fate).

We're at point A, and it's a long way to point B. Callum, like Viren, is willing to do "anything in the name of love, however dangerous, however vile". That's going to come back at some point. Callum in s2 used dark magic to save Rayla. He's made a choice like that once, and he'll do it again. He may have sworn off dark magic in s2, but if his connection to the sky arcanum isn't giving him the freedom to do whatever he needs too, is that going to hold up? Is he not going to do whatever he needs to for the people he care's about?

[drdtfuitgumies]

the 100th situation!! yippee!

we've officially hit our 100th situation (not counting the pinned post)...!! to celebrate, i drew everyone* for one of my oddly specific, self-indulgent aus with a target audience of one (me); my drdt x digimon au!

version without any digimon

the au is mostly running on vibes (especially as we don't have concrete backstories for everyone, and a lot of interpretation has to be done), but the digimon adventure trilogy is the main inspiration!

disorganized notes: -) i'll be going to more detail in my other acc! linked here -) this takes place in an universe where hope's peak academy and the tragedy never existed. they still have their "talents" but they don't get nationwide recognition or anything. this helps and hurts some backstories -) i'm separating the story to two arcs. the first arc is where mai befriends everyone in the right half of the image and takes them adventuring in the digital world, ending in her untimely and unfortunate death. which was totally not supposed to happen, whoops :( this fractures mai's friend group and only the valiant efforts of a post-character development arei prevents them from completely cutting off contact with each other -) the second arc takes place ~3 years after, where mai's friends' unaddressed drama and hard feelings finally crop up again and two innocent bystanders (teruko and eden) are forced to take front seat and suffer the consequences. everyone left in the left side of the image isn't relevant to the plot and are background cameos at best but i didn't wanna leave them out -) its basically Character Building Playground for me and a way for me to cope about what could've been. but it also means that the most "content" i make up in my head is actually between the first and second arc, because i wanna figure out how awful everyone's coping mechanisms are and the falling outs that ensue...

summary of my unserious thought process behind each partner choice (more detailed in my other acc): -) the characters from hu to teruko specifically have partners who are relevant in the digimon adventure continuity. if you've watched tri in particular, you know exactly why i chose mai and teruko's partners ^_^ -) hu: morphomon. thank you lost evolution kizuna for introducing a butterfly child-level / rookie!! -) ace: patamon. they are both orange. interpreting patamon as a small angry dog was also really funny to me -) david: gabumon. protag assignment. gabumon wears a fur pelt to appear stronger and it's stated to experience a "180° personality shift" -) xander: agumon. protag assignment. they would be BEST friends -) j: tentomon. juxtaposition of cute pink baby form vs very cool and scary looking insects that shoot LIGHTNING. -) arei: piyomon/biyomon. no reason in particular the evolutions i picked just fit really well -) charles: palmon. plant. the idea of charles naming a plant "charles jr" was hilarious to me, and then the idea of palmon wearing matching goggles and a labcoat was very very cute -) whit: gomamon. sea ouppy... commonly characterized as a very laidback and fun-loving partner in digimon media. -) mai: tailmon/gatomon. Kity :) this specific tailmon is also meant to mirror monotv and behaves like it -) teruko: meicoomon. Kity :) sad kity who turns evil and fucked up :( -) eden: solarmon. silly machine digimon. also commonly evolves to the clock digimon -) min: wormmon. bookworm pun. also very vague allusion to ichijouji ken. Min is not plot relevant (for now) and she's actually way better off here than canon!! -) rose: lalamon. no reason in particular i just think they would be friends and lalamon's face is funny. -_- and 0o0 -) nico: loogamon. wolfy :) wolfy who bites -) veronika: porcupamon. spooky monokuma-esque bear -) levi: bemmon. ourple. also the one "unnatural" digimon pick that i thought fit him well. also, also hoping that digimon liberator gives me a shiny new bemmon evolution line that can work with him! -) arturo: jellymon. i had absolutely zero idea what to do with him because hes one of the two characters i cant get a grip on (for writing) so i just sicced Ghost Game's Jellymon on him

[fellthemarvelous]

Holy forking shirtballs

I'm choosing violence today. I started this on Twitter, but I'm going to finish my thoughts here like I always do.

But what really blows my mind the most is the way that people look at Aziraphale's "choice" at the end, as if he had one to fucking begin with.

I'm sorry, but Aziraphale knows how messed up Heaven is. He told The Metatron, more than once, that he did not want to go back to Heaven! We can debate what each of us means by "choice" all night because my "choice" and your "choice" might be two different concepts. He could have been strong armed by The Metatron or he could have looked at where things were headed and realized he had no choice but to intervene himself.

You need to ask yourself what Aziraphale has a moral imperative to do.

What do we owe to each other?

Seriously, if you have not watched The Good Place, I recommend you go and watch it, because it absolutely shaped how I've viewed Good Omens 2 since its release.

My levels of frustration with the bad faith mischaracterizations of Aziraphale are off the charts. If you are blaming him for everything, implying that he should have to grovel and that Crowley has a right to hurt him back, you have missed the point of Good Omens entirely.

I defend Aziraphale, but I don't think one of them is more right or wrong than the other. They're equals. They're a group of the two of them, acting and reacting to each other throughout history. They're Alpha Centauri.

I cannot even begin to explain how fucking devastated I felt when Crowley said these words, knowing he was fighting a losing battle. What he said took a lot of courage because he's finally admitting something they've both been too scared to publicly define for 6,000 years. Crowley has had to spend so long with a rough outer shell because he fell and had to hide all of his softness.

The look on his face was one of pure joy when he created that nebula, but I think the fact that he got to share that moment with Aziraphale is what has always stuck with him.

So yeah, seeing Crowley with a broken heart at the end of "Every Day" was sad for me as well.

My brain still lives here!!

But Neil has said that Good Omens 3 is not quiet, gentle, or romantic. I imagine it's going to be more like the the first season in which they are not central to the plot. GO2 will help us make sense of how they ended up where they are when we see the bigger picture with all the other major players involved with GO3.

Aziraphale was still a soldier and accidentally got himself discorporated in his own magic circle in season one. He had a platoon waiting on him to start Armageddon, and he deserted them to go save the world with Crowley instead. Aziraphale is a deserter. I need everyone to remember that. He yeeted himself out of Heaven and sought out Crowley before even locating a body just to warn him about what was happening so they could try to save the world together.

I can't help but think of 1941 and that magician who had been arrested for being a deserter.

Aziraphale disobeyed orders. That took courage but it branded him as a traitor against Heaven. They tried to destroy him for it the same way Hell tried to destroy Crowley for his part in stopping the war.

Aziraphale and Job are the only characters we have seen interacting with God directly. Aziraphale has spoken to God before and he is determined to do so again.

Aziraphale knows Heaven is flawed, but he also knows it's supposed to be good. He wants it to be good. He does not like the way the system works and he wants to make a difference. (And I'm pretty sure he's also determined to talk to God without being intercepted by The Metatron.)

Since when is that a bad thing? I don't get it. And I've had this discussion before.

If you need to change the system by burning the old one to the ground, it's still change, and we don't know what Aziraphale has planned.

It seems to me that people just want to see Aziraphale fail because it would punish him for returning to Heaven instead of running off with Crowley.

Some of y'all take everything Aziraphale says or does and twist those things into malicious anti-Crowley actions because you think the only reason Aziraphale exists is to make Crowley happy, and if he isn't thinking only about Crowley then he's doing something wrong.

Aziraphale does not exist as a plot device to further Crowley's character. They come as a pair. They've been learning from each other for 6,000 years. Crowley challenges Aziraphale just as much as Aziraphale challenges him.

You can be mad at Aziraphale all you want, but villainizing him is gross. Defending Crowley does not mean you have to tear down and mischaracterize Aziraphale anymore than defending Aziraphale means you have to tear down Crowley (but I don't see that happen on nearly the same level it happens to Aziraphale). Stop painting Aziraphale as an abusive partner, for fuck sake.

Aziraphale knows there are flaws in the system. He wants to make a difference, and since he has seen that Gabriel can change, then maybe the whole system can. He has to at least try, and if he can succeed then maybe he and Crowley can stop hiding and finally be together without having to look over their shoulders all the time.

Why is that a bad thing? He's just as protective of Crowley as Crowley is of him!

But don't forget that Aziraphale's wing was covering Adam and Eve too. As much as a wants to protect Crowley, he has a moral imperative to keep humanity safe as well.

He sent Adam and Eve into the unknown with a flaming sword so they could protect themselves.

As much as he wants to be with Crowley, there are 8 billion people on Earth heading toward the Second Coming and Judgment Day. They'll work together to fight alongside humanity in the end. Aziraphale should not have to humiliate himself just to earn Crowley's forgiveness. That's a rancid notion.

The Resurrectionist was a whole ass moral dilemma for Aziraphale, which is why I brought up The Good Place earlier, but that's a post for a different time.

Aziraphale has his own motivations and they're just as important as Crowley's, and they don't have to be chalked up to Aziraphale being the bad guy. Weird, I know, but shades of grey.

"To the world."

[tamtuliko]

I have to mention a few more things about Great and Tyme.

Great said: you were dying for me that night.

But darling, you were dying for him too that night.

Their eye contact here is so much. You can feel need, lust, want, they are dying for each other. I know Tyme did it for recording, but dude was so into it.

Look at his face, for revenge my a$$, he was into it as much as Great. Also Greats hand on his ribcage. Oh boy.

The fact that we see both angles is such a masterpiece.

Like in Greats timeline it's mostly his POV, but here we are watching from both side.

We see Tymes POV and we see Greats as well. The camera work for this is so good.

Small details I think about it.

• Time for their $ex in real timeline and making love in Greats 4 minute limbo. I tried to zoom in and screenshot Great's watch, but I can't clearly see it. But I think it is midnight. This show is all details and the fact that Bible is wearing watch every moment and especially during their intimate moments, makes me wonder if the time was the same.

Another tragic thing:

Greats Timeline, they won Real Timeline Tyme left

Cross road and bridge

Decisions. Hard choices. Encountering a crossroad and not sure which way to go. Why is life so difficult at times? Life is filled with choices, both large and small. Some are minor, but others will be life-changing, one way or the other. We can not avoid them;when you stand in crossroad, you are at a stage in your life when you have to make a very important decision. Turning points & deciding moments. See Tyme leaves Great here, he made choice, not to use him, not to scar this broken boy anymore, because he saw how tragic Great is, and I'm not saying that Tyme is good guy here, or Great is oh so bad guy, they both are red flags, but here we see their characters better. Tyme, who wills to move forward, but refuse to use Great anymore cause he might develop some feelings towards him. Great, who can't go after Tyme because he downs even knows what he wants, just $ex? Hook up and all. Or to be ally and go against his father, let Tyme use him? He does what he can, avoids making choices, and calls his brother to reject him. This kid is all alone.

In Greats 4 minutes limbo, he and Tyme cross the bridge and go somewhere far away.

To dream that you are crossing a bridge signifies an important decision or a critical junction in your life. This decision will prove to be a positive change filled with prosperity and wealth in the horizon. Bridges represent a transitional period in your life where you will be moving on to a new stage, isn't this sad??? Great wanted to have better future with Tyme, to move to new stage not just to fuck up. Bridge could be symbolic of connection, stability, and progress. Often, when bridges appear it could mean you are encountering a new start, travel, different way of life or a change or transition. It is normally a symbol of hope and commitment. Also, it is a symbol of relationships with others, especially those with whom you have strong, lasting, and deep connections, and I believe Tyme and Great have a strong connection. Maybe fucked up one, but still.

Another small things I'm thinking but can't find the conection:

In Greats Timeline, this ball also fell in a hole when he was calling someone to ask what time it was. And then the time moved.

They show us time here 11:50 pm. Why?? There is no way they are just giving it to us...

<still>, I mean you can do research, but what kind of research this dude did, so he knows about Greats fear of dogs??? Suspicious...

We see these minutes in real timeline as well. Why show it us with so big numbers?

Their meeting at bar, can't see clearly is the watch says 11??

Finally, this Shot is crazy. Tyme you little piece of shit, you did enjoy it 🤣

2 more days to watch episode 7, hoping we will get more answers this time. Cause I need to focus on my actual life, okay???

[gh0stbeeee]

Rise of the Guardians/The Guardians of Childhood is low-key my Roman Empire.

Like, specifically in the movie verse, there's just... so much that was never elaborated on. It's one of the unfortunate side effects of being kid's media, things get dumbed down for no reason.

Like, Jack Frost in general as a character. He died. DIED. He DROWNED in a pond saving his sister and??? Nothing. The entire moment when he remembered became "Oh I'm the fun guy that had a family and saved my sister!" AND DIED. Very important part that is completely glossed over other than the idea of sacrifice. Like, the other guardians were "chosen," did they not die too? Did Jack lose his memories because he died, but the others were chosen while alive, chose to leave their lives and remembered?

And just, what were his early years? For a very long time, at least a decade, he probably thought he was totally invisible, that he could never have a true conversation with another person, because I doubt that he stumbled upon another spirit/legend for a while.

Like, that would have driven him INSANE. There's no way he wouldn't be super socially awkward from the isolation, much less just totally mentally well. Are spirit's brains built different? They'd have to be, but I don't think they should be able to withstand that level. Like what was the mim thinking??? Seriously just abandoned a TEENAGER he resurrected with no memory or possibility of support, that's wrong.

And on that note, let me reiterate that Jack died. In front of his little sister. Who had to go back home and tell her family what happened. Did he have a father too? More siblings? Friends and family? They had a funeral no doubt, mourned him. Because he died.

The worst part? He was right there. The whole time. Jack came back to that pond and settlement for hundreds of years, even when it became Burgress. He probably watched his funeral not knowing what was going on, saw his family mourn him without knowing it was for him. He was there when they died, not knowing who they were to him. Did he realize later on? I can only imagine the devastation.

The worst part is Manny probably had to take his memories, because Jack would have been DEPRESSED. He would've tried everything to make them believe, and they probably never would. His parents would probably never see him again, they were adults. His sister was plausible, but she's still mortal. She would have died, Jack would have seen his little sister grow old and die while he stayed eternally young. He might've not ever recovered from that, mim taking his memories distanced him from the pain for when he remembered 300 years later.

But he also could have moved on, grown and loved her descendants and honored her. The mim took that choice away, and that's pretty fucked up.

Then yeah, 300 years of pretty much no acknowledgement. Going into live blind with no guidance or memories, trying to figure yourself out but being ignored by the once who brought you here. Jack would realistically be a little nutty, because wow. It's shown the even other spirits didn't really talk to him, he made them acknowledge him by playing pranks and pissing them off till they confronted him. Maybe it's in spirit's nature to be recluses, but it's not in Jack's. He wanted attention and to be seen, but no one wanted to or could give it to him.

That's why Jamie seeing him for the first time always makes me tear up. This is the first time for HUNDREDS of years that a human has acknowledged him, not an out of touch spirit, but a regular person Jack can connect with, that chose to see him, to believe. That's beautiful, and special.

There's just so many layers to this story that we never got to see, and I'm forever sad DreamWorks abandoned the franchise.

(If anyone has any good fics that explore topics like this, especially Jack's family, please share)

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

STAGED LIVESTREAM SUMMARY S1

BABYGIRLS, BITCHBOYS, AND BOYCOTTERS OF THE BINARY, HELLO MAGGOTS OF MINE. Can you tell it is past 5 am and I just took my sleep meds? We all know how well that goes for my post-making prowess *stares at my good omens part 1 update on Neil's blog*.

BUT that is a regret for post-sleep me to have. When the sun rises I'll go to bed, it's a fucked up sleep schedule but hey the sun and I can't be up at the same time we'd all combust from the hotness. Oh I'm going to regret this so much. But I feel like it's only in this state that I can do justice to that goddamn livestream.

STRAP IN BECAUSE THIS IS A LONG POST AND I WILL NOT CUT IT BECAUSE I WANT EVERYONE WHOSE DASH IT LANDS ON TO YEARN FOR SPIRTUAL EYE-BLEACH.

Soooooo without further ado, or should I say much ado about nothing (see I can reference Shakespeare):

The stream starts, and we are witness to David Tennant being pointy and chaotic, Michael Sheen being adorable and enraged, and Simon looking close to tears at all times, which is a fucking mood.

I am witness to a disturbing degree of thirst every time Michael turns to the side. Michael in profile, they all swoon. I am concerned.

I'm reminiscing about my lockdown memories. David looking confused in a hoodie is very fucking relatable. Once, I started sobbing because my wardrobe looked like a wardrobe. It was a time for us all.

However, everyone else is busy yelling about different showings of Hamlet, Richard the Something Number, etc etc. No one is paying attention to me and my poor poor memories.

Now, I read original Shakespeare when I was like 13, .I like him. But I do not have this level of expertise. FRIENDS, ROMANS, COUNTRYMEN, LEND ME YOUR EARS, I beg.

No one pays attention. I am sad.

I go off to sulk.

By which I mean I actually pay attention to the show. So maggots reading this and wanting an actual summary, this is the only time you're going to get it, because it was when I was watching.

Basically, Simon (I'm gonna refer to their characters as them but for the record it's scripted, I'm being so considerate to the people who're here for an actual summary) digs himself into a hole, Michael does not like him and makes that very known, David offers to get Simon out of the hole and in the process digs both of them into an even deeper hole, and Samuel L Jackson (is that his name) and Michael become unlikely allies to get revenge on David.

Rather than an apology dance, though, David has to stand in a corner. Meanwhile, Georgia and Anna are the only ones actually functioning at their lives, Michael gets blackmailed into servitude by his neighbour, and Simon holds back tears. Judi Dench is involved (that's her name right).

Now as you can see, I am paying full attention to the show until this point. At this fucking point though, I make the poor choice of opening the stream chat.

@thescholarlystrumpet's profile picture is a certain angel. Focused on... the lower half.

Everyone in the chat is talking about Aziraphale's thighs.

This derails. Everyone is now talking about Aziraphale's dick.

Strumpet insists vehemently that the thighs are the focus.

Everyone says the thighs are only there for framing purposes.

You know me, maggots. I'm drawn to chaos, shark to blood. So I end my sulk at not being the centre of attention, and delightedly hop into the chat.

Someone (@vitrilol it was you, I believe? until confirmation, I'll refer to them as Ari) says they wish someone liked their thighs.

So naturally I say I like your thighs.

Oh, swoon, the flirting, you maggots would be scandalised. I'm quite the charmer. It is delectable. We take it to the bedroom. The bedroom is the stream chat. There are gasps.

Another maggot says that this is simply mine and Ari's room, and they're just in it. So then I tell them, why simply stand and watch? They should join in.

They say they have mixed experience with threesomes. I ask who said we're capping it at three?

They are far more comfortable with the idea of an orgy. An orgy has now been initiated. Some people express concern. Others are entirely on board.

Some say they are afraid they're too old for the said orgy, they're old enough to be my aunt. I say nonsense, you wanna orgy, you orgy.

Ari takes this opportunity to wonder if I'm old enough to be their aunt. They then hasten to assure me that they like MILFs.

I find this hysterical, because I am a nineteen year old guy whom people have said gives off tiktok fuckboy energy in real life. I make that fact known. I'm glad that being a man and being 19 does not exclude me from being a MILF, however.

At this point, Ari points out that at least people find me attractive, even if it's a tiktok fuckboy way. I am unsure that being attractive is worth giving off tiktok fuckboy energy. (Thank god, this is not my only vibe. I also have unkept stinky teenage boy, witch and Jane Austen debutante princess, but weird).

Someone else says that hey, I'm closer in age to their son than them. I am about to ask whether their son is eligible and how many pounds he has a year, when they add that the son is 12. I tell them I am glad I did not ask those things. They agree.

The show is still going on. Someone is gasping on Georgia's phone, and I assume it is labour (I learned my lesson about assuming orgasms after the good omens pilot). I am correct. A maggot says that labour and orgasms do not sound the same.

I'm a clueless aspec boy. I don't know about labour or orgasms.

There is some debate then about whether screaming in pain is a difference or a possible common ground for those two things.

The orgy is expanding. Strumpet has to step in to say that while thirsting about the actors is entirely fine, please everyone refrain from sexting in the stream chat.

I feel like I should state here for the record that no one was sexting.

Well. Okay. That's a dubious stretch of the truth, but I love dubiously stretching the truth.

David abuses chairs and beds and his limbs with his posture. I relate.

The neighbour nearly dies, then does not.

The internet gives up on the stream. This is fair. Poor internet.

But while the video is lagging, someone mentions that one of their favourite fanfic authors passed away.

Comfort is offered, as is my brand of aggressively gentle love. Basically DON'T FUCKING APOLOGISE, sweetheart, your grief is valid. Strumpet says how in case she should disappear she's given a friend the authority to post her WIPs as a precautionary measure. And now people are crying.

I ask Strumpet to pause the stream. We all get really fucking emotional about the beauty of writing, of art enduring past the lives of the artists, and whether the author knew how much they were loved. This is getting really sad, but in a beautiful way.

We go back to the stream. Who knows what happens? Not me.

But what matters to me isn't what's on the stream, it's what's in the chats. The people I get to talk to. The hope that I can, at the very least, ensure that they are never, ever unheard. That they get the love they deserve.

I'm too sleepy to reread that. Meds have kicked in. Eyes shut time. If I fucked up somewhere in the post do forgive me maggots of mine, it's past 6 am which means the sun has risen and I need to go the fuck to sleep till noon is over at least.

I love you. Love love love. Send me anything you want anytime. My ask box is open. Go wild. You will not be fucking unheard. Yeah? Good. I love you, again, for good measure.

@howmanyholesinswisscheese ya proud of me, dad?

[aemmawrites]

I hate that I Love you

wc. 945 tw. toxic amber, cussing pairing- Amber freeman x reader

Ever since you were younger you had a certain way you liked to do things.

You liked to have everything organized and structured. But as you learned life always comes with obstacles. Obstacles, you’ve learned, are inevitable.

Just like the obstacle laying beside you.

Amber freeman.

To say you were a perfectionist was an understatement, you had the same routine you stuck to every morning. Wake up, get ready for school, cheerleading practice, homework, get ready for bed, sleep.

Repeat.

Everything was perfect, and then a disruption in your routine happened. Wakeup, get ready for school, bump into Amber Freeman on the way to cheer practice, regret your life choices, homework, get ready for bed, sleep.

Amber was a character for sure, she was bad for you, and you knew that, even now as you sat in her bed, relaxed with your head in her lap while she watched the stab movies for the third time this week.

One year.

You guys have been together for one whole year. And you’ve never felt worse. Crying yourself to sleep at night when she accused you of cheating, arguing over stupid things such as your skirt being a little too short, silent treatment for weeks until you admitted you were wrong even when you weren’t, somehow making you feel like without her you could do nothing, you would be nothing.

You suppose it was your fault as amber would say, “you knew how I was when you first agreed to date me, so what's the problem now”

flashback

You were late.

Of course, as you realized you were going to have extra laps at practice for being late, you started to speed walk down the hallways, not paying attention, you bumped into one accidentally tripping and bringing them down with you. Frantically you looked up to see who you rushed in to and immediately apologized. “I'm so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention and I-”

“Shut up” was all she said, glaring at you making you look down in embarrassment.

“I don't need an apology, I need you to watch where you're going”, she looked up and paused, analyzing the girl in front of her. You both looked at each other as if waiting for eachothers next move. You made a move to leave and get out of the awkward situation before she stepped in front of you and said “wait.”

And then it all went downhill from their

now

“Are you even paying attention?” Amber whispered as if not to scare you. You looked up at her before responding, “yeah im just tired, also we’ve seen this movie 10 times already, this month,” Amber rolled her eyes, getting ready to rant about how the stab franchise is worth rewatching, you sighed.

You moved your head off her lap and onto the pillow next to her. “I'm going to sleep” is all you could say before Amber started a new argument with you.

Again.

Amber looked over at you  with a frown, “so your tired now, but not when that Olivia girl was talking to you, you seem so energized, but now your tired.”

One moment of peace was all you wanted, you turned to face amber before saying. “Amber, me and Olivia are on the cheer team together, where friends, and friends talk. Also it’s 3am and we have been watching movies for the past 6 hours, I'm tired.” You tried to reason.

Amber quickly responded with “you can either stay up with me and watch movies, or spend the night with Olivia since you seem to like her so much.”

You snapped, this wasn’t that big of a deal based on things Amber has done to you in the past, but it was like everything that had ever made you mad, upset, and sad came to the top. “Amber, my life doesn’t revolve around you and you honestly need to get over yourself!”

Silence.

Amber's eyes widened as if it was crazy that you would talk back to her, so she did what she did best, hurt you. “How can you say that, after all I have done for you, when we first met you were just some weird loner with no friends, I made you who you are, your nothing without me”

“Fuck you Amber, i'm leaving” here you were trying your best and it was never enough for her, you started to get dress as you felt hands wrap around your waist. And just like that happy Amber was back.

Amber smiled at you as if to make the situation better. “I'm sorry, you know how I get, you know I didn’t mean it, please stay,” as much as you wanted to relax into her touch you knew better, so you ignored her and put your shoes on.

“Are you really going to walk home at three in the morning, that's not safe” Amber smiled as she nodded her head to the window, and just now you noticed how dark it was. Weighing your options, you sighed and went to make a move to go outside. She quickly grabbed your wrist before saying “don’t be stupid it’s not safe, stay here, where I can protect you, where I can hold you, you just said you were tired, let's go to sleep.”

Before you could say anything she started pushing you back towards her bed, using her strength to keep you from trying to leave. You tried to leave, you really did but you were tired, it was scary outside, and the way Amber was looking at you right now made your heart melt. So you sighed as she tried to coax you to come back to her bed, you relented, you gave up, and just like that you were back in her arms, back in her bed.

Again.

This was the part in your routine where you regret your life choices.

[lamialamia]

We have a problem: why am I watching this sex scene again?

Ah. Sex scenes. You wild wild beast. The crossroad of many discourses and analyses and opinions and essays and now, here I am, a mere casual ww2 rpf fan, throwing my own hat to the ring. In this blog post I'm going to talk once more about sex scenes -- two in particular -- and why the eff one of them matters, making the ww2 rpf more compelling and the other did not.

Disclaimer: Whether or not sex scenes are needed in media in general or the right way to implement them across the vast spectrum of art is not part of this discussion. Please keep in mind I'm trying to complain about the writing decision in the small scope of the HBO War shows.

I have discussed the problem with the Crosby/Sandra plot line in a previous analysis here. But I think the problem with it requires another (and maybe a third) write-up. Here, I want to talk about why the tiny sex scene between Crosby and Sandra in episode 7 is a waste of screen time.

So, we have the sex scene in MOTA episode 7. It is somewhat explicit and it was clear it is consensual and that the people who are fucking is very into it. In comparison to other sex scenes in HBO War fandom, it doesn't exactly stands out to me with just the imagery of the act (of course this is a personal opinion, whether or not I find a sex scene hot or bad or corny or lovely or [insert adjective here] is not universal).

However, my problem with this sex scene between Crosby and Sandra is that it doesn't matter to the story.

After getting it on with Sandra, and then after she left him, Crosby never talked about this affair in anyway. Not over the narration, expressing some kind of sentiment over it, not with Rosie or any other guy, so me, the audience, have no idea what he think about it or how he might be affected about it. We didn't know what Sandra think or feel about it either because her scenes are about her spy works and that's it.

You might say: well he doesn't have to tell us how he feel if the show can demonstrate to us the same thing.

Yet, MOTA never did that. Furthermore, the show never portray the sex between them matters to the characters beyond getting their rocks off. And then, the sex doesn't matter to the theme of the episode nor the overall theme of the show either. It's just something that happened.

(Sad to say that maybe this sub-plot distracts me from the rest of episode 7 and 8)

This might be consider 'realistic'. In real life, people can have sex just for the joy of it. Which is true, but in a drama mini-series, the choices to include or exclude details must take in consideration whether what is on screen is valuable to the story the show is trying to tell. Why are they including this sex scene instead of the hundred other real life details that don't make the cut? We don't have a training montage for the pilots, we never learn how Quinn and Bailey get back to base from Germany, we never have the D-Day invasion sequence,...

Let's have a comparison to another sex scene.

In The Pacific episode 3, Sidney Phillips met Gwen in Melbourne and started a romance with her that ended in them having sex before he got shipped back to Pavuvu. Personally for me, it wasn't an awesome sex scene either. Both Gwen and Sidney were awkward, they kissed and the entire thing ended with him kissing her bare shoulder.

But what truly matter happened latter. When Eugene arrived in Pavuvu and reunited with Sidney, he asked Sidney about what combat was like. And to answer this, Sidney mentioned him sleeping with Gwen not to brag about his sexual conquest but to make a comparison with the brutal battles he survived.

Despite the fact that the two of them grew up together, in just a small amount of times, Sidney have been through things and done things Eugene hadn't. All of that (both combat and his brief romance with Gwen) had changed Sidney to the point that Eugene could not longer connect with him. There was now a chasm between them. Eugene looked at his friend and tried to understand him but couldn't. There were things that must be experienced to be understood.

And then, Eugene himself went through life-changing events. The war changed him so much that when he returned to Mobile, he once again couldn't connect with Sidney

Or his brother (who was in the Army and was in the euro theatre) -- another person who had gone through the war himself.

Both Sidney and Eugene's older brother had returned home before him while Eugene had just came back, fresh off the board with his mental wounds, and it showed the chasm had formed between him and these two men who supposed to shared this brutal experience with Eugene.

In fact his brother specifically mentioned how Eugene is still a virgin, which highlight further how he was 'missing out' on that particular experience that both these men have.

And this all started when we were still following H company and witnessed Sidney and Gwen having sex. That small thing compounded over time. It snowballed into all these differences and distance that Sidney would have with Eugene, and then Eugene would be having against his own hometown, his brother, his family, and his best friend. It served to show how war had did its number on Eugene in many ways.

The sex scene between Sidney and Gwen mattered to the story, it served a narrative purpose eventually.

Crosby and Sandra's sex scene did not. And to include it meant there would be less screen time for any other story line, leaving not just the sub-plot of Crosby's arc weaker, but the other ones as well. Overall, this creative decision left MOTA a weaker show in term of its writing.

[freelanceexorcist]

OK. I watched the first chapter of Ever Crisis First Soldier episode 2 and of course I have thoughts.

Cut for spoilers and length.

Sephiroth has officially become a sympathetic character. I mean, he always was, but there's no doubt about it being official now.

The way he's acting toward people, pushing them away? He's not being arrogant or sullen or a dick. He's a sad, traumatized kid with crappy self-esteem. He's in pain and grieving the loss of Glenn, Matt and Lucia's friendship. He's trying to convince himself that he's a soulless machine because machines don't have to feel what he's feeling. He's pushing everyone away because he doesn't want to make the choice he had to make between saving Rosen and saving himself and his friends. If you're cold, calculating and ruthless, such choices are a lot easier.

Except he's not any of those things or he wouldn't be acting the way he is. He wouldn't care, but he obviously does here. If you push everyone away and keep them at arms length, it doesn't hurt so much when they inevitably leave.

Except Angeal ain't havin' none of that. He's gonna make Sephiroth his bro if it kills both of them. The dynamic between these two so far is

And you know it works, too, and at least they get ten good years as friends after that.

So yes, the Sephiroth from Episode 1 is still there, but he's depressed and traumatized. If he returned to Midgar between episodes, he probably got a good dressing down from the top brass at Shinra and suffered who knows what at Hojo's hands. He's hurting and I think on some level Angeal knows that, which is why he's trying so hard to break through.

Now let's talk about Sephiroth's dream. I hope that was just a regular dream and not Jenova fucking with him because that would be a real kick in the nuts. I'm going to say it was an actual dream triggered by seeing Alissa "Definitely Not Jenova" Goldie and her uncanny resemblance to Lucrecia. And he was handed an empty bowl and told it was pumpkin soup because he doesn't know what pumpkin soup looks like. He just knows it would be good and that his mama would make him some if she could.

And speaking of Definitely Not Jenova. Nope, definitely not Jenova or Hojo mindfucking him. Not at all.

But since I'm a glass half full kinda gal when it comes to these things, I'm considering another angle. Yeah, purple and purplish pink are colors associated with Jenova, but those lights swirling around Alissa remind me of will o' the wisps or spook lights. Depending on which culture's folklore you're looking at, these can represent elemental spirits, the fae or demons (demons as in "spirit that never walked the earth in physical form" and not the Biblical nasties).

What if a forest spirit or similar entity took an interest in Sephiroth and wanted to get a closer look to see what makes him tick? Such an entity wouldn't really understand humans, so throwing Hojo in his face wouldn't strike it as being cruel or malicious. It was just curious to see how he would react.

Yeah, it's probably Jenova. "Those you hate, those you fear, those you love" after all. The other idea is worth considering, though.

Some odds and ends:

*i'm glad that the existence of female SOLDIER operatives has been confirmed. Not sure how I feel about them having to wear coochie cutters while the guys get real pants, though.

*I wonder how Sephiroth will get Masamune from its namesake. I'm going to be optimistic and say Mr. Epic Eyebrows will deem him worthy of receiving it, because that's how that seems to be shaping up at first glance. My prediction is that Masamune will pop up at times throughout the story to observe Sephiroth and test his mettle. He already knows Sephiroth is worthy, and these interactions will serve to verify that.

*Bachman's kind of a pain in the ass, isn't he? Sephiroth isn't your show pony, dude. He didn't even know you'd be tagging along.

*EC is really playing up how innocent and good these kids were back in the day. Angeal certainly had it helped along by his upbringing, but it took work for Sephiroth to maintain his goodness. He's the way he is despite his childhood, not because of it.

*I know I sound like a broken record but bog standard villains just don't get that kind of development. We're not supposed to see them sympathetically. At least not the ones for whom a redemption arc isn't in the works. We're supposed to cheer when they get what they have coming in a movie or on a show. We're supposed to feel accomplished when we beat them as the final boss in the game. We're not supposed to see their inevitable defeat as the heartbreaking last act of a tragic life.

*EC took pains to make the connection between the purehearted pre-Nibelheim Sephiroth and the Sephiroth at the Edge of Creation. It's looking more and more to me like EoC Sephiroth and the Sephiroth menacing the party are two different people. Or, more accurately, two versions of the same person from two different universes/timelines and one of them isn't answering to Jenova anymore (if he ever did in the first place).

*I mean come on. The symbolism. The white feathers (which pop up all over Rebirth, too). This:

*That's not there by accident or because it looks cool. It's a single white wing to contrast with Jenovaroth's single black wing and highlight the differences between the two. The battle theme that plays during the behemoth fight is called White Winged Angel, fercryin' out loud! I will die on this hill.

That's all for now. Thanks for sticking around to the end of this if you did.

[my-mt-heart]

The current state of the spinoff right now has nothing to do with what Melissa wants or doesn't want and I do not appreciate her being used as a strategy for Norman, AMC, and the three stooges to evade responsibility. I don't know what happens next, but whatever it is, it is on them. For prioritizing their own needs over the core audience. For mishandling the characters/relationship the core audience is invested in. For constantly gaslighting everyone and refusing to deliver the payoff so many people have been waiting for. For not fixing the problem when they had the chance.

Yes, I am sad because this is supposed to be Melissa's time to shine. Yes, I really do want to support her because if anyone on this show has earned the support, it's her. If anyone is going to be worth watching in S2, it's her. If anyone's input is going to make a difference, it's hers. I do think she was excited to show the impact that Sophia's death had on Carol, but that doesn't mean she's getting everything she wants and it doesn't mean fans have to sit through relentless nunbaiting and a retconned bond between Daryl and Carol similar to S11 (I can only assume at this point that's what we're getting). I will not do that. Platonic Caryl is inorganic to me, and speaks more to TPTB's ageism/misogyny than it does about anyone's creative input. Daryl being torn between Carol and French characters he's only known for a few months is just fucking ridiculous. Period. It doesn't mean that I don't want to be here anymore or that I don't care about the characters or about Melissa. It just means I won't put money in AMC's pockets for awful decisions, like letting Zabel and Nicotero run amuck, like shoving "BESTEST OF BEST FRIENDS" down my throat, like forcing their nun fetish on me, like turning Daryl into every other generic male hero there is. If TPTB show they value Melissa/Carol as much as Norman/Daryl, if she and Norman get equal billing, if Carol's name is included in the title, if Daryl and Carol are allowed the romantic beats that their story in the flagship show set up, then I'm all in. In the meantime, for those who asked, my plan is this:

I am going to watch the premiere because I've heard enough reliable testimonies about the heavy Carol focus, the lack of nunbaiting, Carol's determination to find Daryl, and Daryl's desperation to get home for me to assume it's worth it. I will review the episode and show Melissa my support. I will go no further as soon as I hear any of that starts to change, which I expect will happen rather quickly, but I will keep speaking up where AMC can see it so they understand what's working and what's not. If Melissa's fans keep speaking up, reminding AMC how much they value her and how much they detest some of Zabel's other choices, then AMC can't try to blame her if numbers are low or assume we'll settle for whatever inappropriate writing choices Zabel throws at us if Melissa does bring the numbers up, and I do believe she's the only one who can.

I have nothing to say about S3 and beyond because the only way I'm on board is if AMC somehow manages not to ruin Caryl's story in S2 and hires a showrunner who can do these characters justice. Hint: it's not Zabel, it's not Gimple, and it's not anybody who's ever worked for them.

[exuberantocean]

I want to talk about responsibility in Our Flag Means Death. And I want to talk about it specifically after watching Stede blame himself for Ed's actions and I want to talk about it after watching a number of people in fandom blaming Izzy for Ed's actions.

Because they were Ed's actions. Ed absolutely did those things. No one forced him to attempt to kill Lucius. No one forced him to strand half the crew or torture Izzy or drive the boat into that storm. These are things Ed did of his own free will.

I hope, I really hope that people understand that ultimately the one responsible for Ed's actions is, well, Ed. Because he was the one to do them. Was his mental health good at the time? Ha, God no. But while that certainly makes it easier to understand his actions, it doesn't excuse them and it doesn't make them right. They are still his actions, his responsibility.

Did Stede's failure to show up at the end of season 1 cause Ed's mental state? Look, it was crushing (for both of them in different ways really). But look, Ed could have assumed something happened to Stede (which really, something did happen to Stede) rather than leap to the conclusion that Stede rejected him. And even given that, most people who break up with or are rejected by a loved one don't do *vague handwave at the first 3 episodes of season 2* ...all that.

There's nothing wrong with Ed feeling rejected and sad. There's a hell of a lot wrong with his actions.

Did Izzy's words and actions cause Ed's mental state? Well, obviously they didn't help. If I recall correctly, Izzy's made some sort of comment to Stede about ruining Blackbeard which surely contibuted to Stede's mental state and his actions at the end of s1 but, you know, Stede's a grown man and his actions are his own. Similarly, Izzy's taunts to Ed at the end of s1 come from a place where Izzy had a specific idea of how Ed was that was, well, perhaps not as wrong as some fans would like to think, but certainly incomplete, lacking, perhaps even misunderstood.

Perhaps misunderstood works best. Izzy knows the confidence that Blackbeard has always seemed to hold, the command, the compacity for violence, but he lacks the understanding of who Ed is. It's understandable that Izzy would want that back (I mean, I hate to break it to you, but they're pirates, the violence thing is part of all that). But, you know, I don't think Izzy's ever been a character motivated by just a desire to fuck things up. He's no Iago. Izzy clearly loves Blackbeard and that's perhaps his greatest flaw. He loves Blackbeard so much, but doesn't understand Ed at all.* ** Regardless of Izzy's motivations, he does play a significant role in escalating the situation. He words contribute to both Stede and Ed's turmoil. I'm not saying he has zero accountability here.

But.

Ed always had a choice one what to do, how to react. His actions remain his own. He could have ignored him, or tried to get over Stede or had Izzy tossed off the ship or any number of things. Instead, Ed chose to do what he did.

More importantly, by denying or ignoring Ed's own capability for his own actions, I feel like it overlooks what I see as the most powerful potential storyline in the show (obviously, I have no clue if they'll actually go this way, but I hope they do).

Ed, the man who feels unlovable has done horrible things. And, just maybe, he can still be loved. (Oh let's face it, we know he will be - he is already by Stede.) I don't even mean just by Stede (I mean, let's face it, Stede's likely to continue blaming himself for this), but by the crew he so badly treated. It will be interesting to see how things move forward. Regardless, I can't wait to see what happens next.

Who hasn't done horrible things? I mean, hopefully not at Ed levels of horrible. But God, what a lesson to be learned, to be loved even after your worst. One of the reason I think we humans are so compelled to create and follow stories is that we learn so well through them. How many of us out there feel unlovable, unloved, as deeply as Ed? How many of us are drowning in our misery, pulled down by weight of our own trauma, or our wrongdoings or perceived wrongdoings?

And how many of us are just as wrong as Ed was? Not because we aren't capable of bad-because new alert-we all are, but because we aren't defined by that and because we aren't destined to be defined by our darkest moments. And because humanity is even more defined by it's compacity to love and forgive than it is for our compacity to hurt and destroy.

Because I want to watch both that boat and it's co-captain rebuilt together.

*This is, perhaps, why Ed could never love Izzy. Because all Izzy saw was Blackbeard and Ed needed someone to love Ed - someone he could be Ed with and that be okay. Perhaps things will shift between Ed and Izzy after this...I mean, things must shift between the two after this, but perhaps Izzy will finally start seeing Ed? Who knows.

I also think Izzy's work at protecting the crew and his attempt to fix the situation (woefully too late) is worth something).

[smytherines]

Once again thinking about how Owen was still shaking and grabbing at the banana peel when Curt ran away. Thinking about how Owen tried to point out how absurd it was to leave a banana peel lying around in the first place, and Curt steamrolled him by saying "who gives a shit?"

How Curt dismissed Owen and treated him like a nuisance for chastising him for drinking and leaving shit on the ground, and for wanting to re-lock the safety barricades to limit the explosion. How Curt didn't have the equipment he thought he would because the color of the rocket shoes didn't match his outfit.

How the explosion was Curt's idea, and he could have simply used the watch to send the blueprints and they both would've gotten out of there safely. But he wanted to be cool. He wanted to be a badass. (and personally, I think he probably wanted to save face with Owen after having to get rescued and getting chewed out by his boss)

I don't think Curt was incompetent in A1P1, but I do think he was a cocky asshole with a bruised ego. I have to be honest, I don't understand the impulse to flatten his character into "He was an awesome babygirl but then a sad thing just kinda happened to him, schwoopsie" when his ego and hubris leading to Owen's demise is the entire point of the scene. Curt having faults and fucking up is what sets that character up to have an arc at all.

In the 54 Below concert there's a part of the spoken introductions where Tessa Netting says "when these two spies are together, they are gay and unstoppable," and the next line is "that is- until Curt's ego gets in the way." In the commentary for SAF there are several points where TCB mentions Curt's ego, his hubris, his vanity- because they are important pieces of the puzzle for understanding who this guy is. Without that context, the choices his character makes in A1P1 don't make any sense (which is why I think some people read him as just kinda being a dipshit)

There's a reason he spent four years blaming himself for Owen's death- it was his fault. It's a crucial part of his character development, and it makes him a much more interesting and nuanced character than "he just did a lil fucksy-wucksy" does.

I'm not even going to get into the way the fandom absolutely refuses to engage with Curt's alcohol use, or how they make up details about Owen to make him more of a cartoon character villain (like the idea that he orchestrated the events of the show specifically to hurt/kill Curt when he doesn't even know Curt is there until Curt interrupts the arms deal) or how they pretend that Owen doesn't have a canon traumatic event that informs who he becomes (which, to be clear, is someone who tortures and murders people- thinking of Owen as an actual human character instead of a Snidely Whiplash villain doesn't mean ignoring how fucked up he is)

I probably should have said all that anonymously through the confessions blog like everyone else is doing, but frankly there are so few Owen defenders everyone would probably know it was me anyways. Also I'm just confident I know the show well enough to defend my points under my own name.

I spent days telling myself to just ignore it, don't let my autism win here, but this show is so complex and well-written, and has so much space for a subtextual reading of it, that it really bothers me to see these weird, messy, interesting, fucked up characters sanded down to Good Guy vs Bad Guy

[frozen-heart]

Thoughts on episode 8

Here we go again! Lots of thoughts & feelings.. So let's go!

I won't lie I was gagged when I first watched this episode. I was on the edge of my seat!

But now that I've had time to let it sit in my brain I just can't help but think that it was... lacking.. It wasn't bad, but was it good?

Reveal

I once mentioned before how I didn't want it to be Wes, but I was still shocked when he did his thing this episode.. Mrs Langsberry being Bloody Rose was fine. She was suspicious from the start, but I had other theories that I liked more. But it definitely makes sense with Tabby being the final girl.

I don't really know if I like Wes as the big bad. I didn't dislike it, as much as I thought I would before I watched this episode. But other theories captured my heart more..

Kelly

I'm glad Kelly survived. I was sure she would and here we are :D

I still don't get why Bloody Rose attacked her. It was so random, even for this movie plot thing. It didn't fit Bloody Rose at all. And then Bloody Rose standing there and watching Faran go in to save Kelly? Go girl give us nothing.

I'm sad they cut Kelly's storyline short. As if Kelly's mom just needed to have a talk with Kelly to stop literally ABUSING her?! And the weird reactions from the girls, when Kelly said there was no more prayer closet time with her mom gave me an ick.

I was also weirded out how she's suddenly included again after Imogen THREATENED to make her life a living hell. And Kelly got over her cult mindset and trauma way to quickly!

I loved her hug with Faran and I hope these two end up together. I've been shipping them since season 1.

Also, not that I care, but where was Greg? That storyline with Faran and Greg is just left in the open. Did Kelly find out? Did they just have a one time thing?? Hello?

Imogen & Johnny

The whole time after Imogen attacked Johnny I was screaming internally for someone to get him out of the fucking freezer T_T That poor guy. I thought Imogen killed him 100%! I thought that would carry out into season 3! But no.. Why didn't she call the police? I mean even in Rosewood, which has the worst police department in history, they were called when dead bodies showed up! I love Imogen, but that was so stupid. I get freaking out on Johnny and I can still excuse her knocking him out, but anything after? Questionable. Choices were made. Still love her tho.

I'm a bit sad because I came to love their relationship, despite it being rushed. I don't think they would get back together, but who knows with this show.

Dr Sullivan

I actually can't believe they butchered Dr Sullivan's character. I know she's a crappy therapist! But you can't make me believe she's so money hungry that she does all of this for a fucking book! She felt like a totally different character! In the original PLL she was still helpful and kind to the Liars and in this she had some good bonding moments with Imogen..

Why was she kidnapped in the first place? That was so random. And stopping therapy is like the last thing the Liars need. Especially Tabby and Imogen. Why is Tabby's mom okay with them stopping therapy?

I also can't get over this timeline with Archie/Dr Sullivan and the og show. It still feels out of character for Archie to randomly kill her son and only now killing her. I gotta admit it was brutal to murder her without answering her question about her son, but that whole story felt like a lie.

Clanton

AND PLEASE WHERE IS CLANTON??? It always seemed like Archie killed, because Clanton ordered it. Archie isn't actually A, Clanton is. He's the mastermind behind it. And it seems like that whole thing was just dropped?

I also thought Bloody Rose would have a bigger team. I mean it had this while Bloody Rose cult, but besides Wes and Mrs Langsberry, there was no one else involved that we knew or cared about. That was a bit dissapointing.

Jen/Noa

I was hoping till the end that Jen turns out to be evil. Especially when she accused Christian and Johnny of being suspicious, as if she hadn't suddenly turned up in Millwood as well?! That was so suspicious and I hoped they would follow through... The bar is so low and they still didn't deliver. Why did they wait until the last episode to TRY to make Jen likable?

Noa/Jen/Shawn storyline was really the biggest failure of this season and really dragged the quality down for me. As if there were no consequences for Noa and Jen after stealing money and wrecking Shawn's car?? Then Noa stealing a car (which was justified in that situation). How are these two not in jail right now???

Overall

I feel like the episode had a good pace until the time jump they did after Tabby's test. It was way to rushed!

I think I'll have to rewatch this episode. Maybe the whole season to really know whether to like it or not. For now I actually think I prefer season 1 overall, which is really surprising to me. When the first two episodes came out I was sure I would love this season more. I know many hated the reveal of season 1. I don't remember my initial thoughts I had back then, but I still think I preferred that reveal for now. Even if it was a random twin situation 😭

And where was Ash?? I thought he would have a bigger part in the reveal.. Where were the moms? Where were the parents overall this season??

That's it for now. I hope I didn't miss anything. Maybe I'll have more thoughts after rewatching the entire season

[ghostradiodylan]

In general Ryan gets so mistreated and overhated by the fandom and it makes me sad because I really like Ryan even in my first playthrough :/ I get that the part where he was arguing with Laura about the existence of werewolves when he watched Nick transform and run out the window was kind of dumb but he’s all around a great character who’s brave and helpful and he helped save everyone’s lives in the best ending….

While I don’t agree with all of their actions I can’t bring myself to hate on any of the counselors. They’re all young adults who are stuck in a horrifying and traumatic situation, of course they’re going to be flawed and not perfect. It just baffles me how Travis, Constance, Jedidiah and Eliza do the most horrible things in the game yet people viciously hate on Ryan : (

Oh, the actual adults in the game are absolutely The Worst. (Even Chris, though I think he wants to help, is incredibly negligent at best).

I think there are a few things happening here that can turn people against Ryan (and I'm not saying anyone has to like him as a character, we all have characters we vibe with and ones we don't, but it's worth examining why we don't vibe with some characters especially when those characters are Black or other POC, LGBTQ, and ND-coded).

Ryan is a victim of some of the less compelling writing choices in the game IMO. They don't have anything to do with his character, really, he's generally well-written, but some of the things that were cut from the game, and the way the relationships unravel in the latter half of the game does Ryan kind of dirty.

First of all, his relationship with Chris Hackett isn't fleshed out enough for a lot of players to understand why he's willing to sacrifice so much on the hope that his mentor isn't actually a werewolf (or a deeply irresponsible asshole of a boss). If they'd left in the scene of Chris following up with Ryan about following his dreams and going to animation school and the initial confrontation with Chris that was patched out, where Ryan questions how he hid this from them all this time when he cared about them and Ryan trusted him (literally heartbreaking to watch tbh 🥺), it might have been a little easier for players to empathize with his loyalty to Chris. This kid has no known father, absentee mother, aging grandparents, a sister he clearly feels a lot of responsibility for, and his father figure who he goes to for advice left him in the worst possible situation. Of course he's going to be in denial about that and about him being a werewolf until he sees it for himself, and then Ryan has to kill him. It's so fucking tragic. And he doesn't even get a second to mourn or even react because the Silas plotline kicks in immediately (and they spent all the animated tears budget on Jacob).

Then there's Ryan's relationship with Dylan, which I could (and will) write about for days. Based on the game we got, plus the cut content, I don't think Ryan was ever supposed to have the option to get with Kaitlyn. I think that's a red herring that allows homophobic players to avoid a gay kiss (kind of a fucked up use of a BAMF character and Brenda Song's star power but, ok). I don't think he was ever supposed to get to romance Laura either. But I do think he was meant to be able to either end up with Dylan, or decisively not end up with him. If they'd kept the relationship system that we still have traces of but no actual structure for, then his ability to say 'maybe neither' to Laura wouldn't be something players held against him because it would have a basis in the choices we've made as Ryan (and Dylan) so far. As it stands, it feels like that is unsupported by what's happened in the game when we've had Dylan and Ryan flirting with each other and taking an obvious interest in each other since they were introduced.

Even if you choose the less favorable dialogue options, Dylan and Ryan are never really shown to be truly at odds (with the possible exception of the gun argument, but even that pretty much smooths over in the end). Even if you have them be hard-headed assholes to each other, they still have their heart-to-heart on the way to the radio hut (which I really think was supposed to have an alternative if they had low relationship stats).

Complicating matters is the fact that a lot of people really love Dylan. Obviously I'm one of them, I mean, look at my url and writing choices. I think Miles gives the best performance of the game, hands down (and I think all the actors did really well tbh). He's a great actor (his line reads are flawless and that sassy boy body language? I die.) but he also gets a lot to work with in terms of the script. Dylan is complex and compelling in a way that tends to be highly relatable for most people. He's probably neurodivergent (ADHD) but it's portrayed in a more palatable way for neurotypical people. Plus, as an audience, we are primed to empathize with the person who wants to be wanted, who is afraid of rejection, who has the cute crush that we want to see reciprocated and is trying not to get their heart stomped on. We've all been there! That's a centuries-old trope in drama and literature for a reason. And while Ryan does not owe Dylan reciprocation, we see some pretty clear signs of it at least being possible. So the game sort of dangles it in front of players like we can make that happen with our choices and then makes a half-baked attempt to snatch it away. That annoys people and, I think at least partially because Ryan's race and stoic demeanor (/autism) have people subconsciously primed to view him negatively, they take that out on him instead of the SMG writers who opted for that rather than fleshing out the relationships any further for the latter half of the game.

Like, yes, it's a horror game not a dating sim (Ryan and Dylan dating sim DLC when tho??), but you spend so much time building relationships that end up not mattering to the outcome of the game, I get why that's frustrating for people. It's frustrating for me! I just think being mad at Ryan over it is the wrong take. I still see people saying "Dylan deserves better than Ryan." Dylan and Ryan both deserve to exist in a finished fucking game where we have the option to get them together or not, but blaming whatever happens, or doesn't, on Ryan as a character is kinda trash.

[andwhentheangelscome]

go off about the DE debrief pls

Okay okay okay okay SO - gosh, where to even begin.

Okay, so: You're standing above the Whirling-In-Rags (which - by the way - is an INCREDIBLE name for this particular location, as Harry is quite literally caught in the storm of his own hopes and failures and responsibilities and poverty BUT I DIGRESS ALREADY), and you're invited to take in a view of the square which will comprise a central location for the game's central drama, and here, at the end of your first day - for a new player, spent running around haphazardly, talking to people who hate you, who have strong opinions about you and about this world that you barely understand - both as the player AND diegetically as Harry - and right before you try to pack it in and give it another go tomorrow, Kim does something important: he invites you into the story in a way that frames not only what you have done in a way that is encouraging (something needed as a player after all the disorientation) but also deeply personal for this character.

This moment isn't just about the narrative gameplay utility of taking the player aside after they've finished Chapter One (so to speak) and making sure they understood the major components of the story that they're in. It's about giving the player a chance to see Kim Kitsuragi - a character who is deeply straight laced, and particular, and necessary for Harry's potential to heal and to move forward from this point where he's found himself - in a moment of genuine vulnerability, and also genuine power.

Kim pulls a cigarette. His minor vice, his personal challenge, one of the markers of his Cool. He takes you through the days events, making sure that as a new player, you aren't completely lost as to what your goals are here, and what's central to achieving them.

(I had forgotten about this until I've been watching it back - he also compliments the snakeskin shoes!!! The green does compliment the orange!!! And those SHOES - one of the many things that makes me headcanon Harry as a closeted-even-to-himself bisexual, like - Kim KNOWS that it's a bold fashion choice and admires it, okay I'm veering off what's just in the text itself now here)

And then he "zooms out," so to speak. We get a discussion of the RCM, an organization which is core to Kim's belief system, which I read as being a steadfast commitment to the ideals of self-governance, of propriety in the social order, of there being a right way to carry a weapon, and a right way to protect the things worth protecting.

He talks about having been a Moralist (a political ideology coded as being similar to specifically European Liberalism), when he was younger, and falters when trying to articulate why he moved on from their beliefs, except for throwing in a comment about how their motto is more about "what they want you to think about them" implying that, for all their talk, they fail to truly meet those values of "Love, Compassion, Self-Discipline", a statement which the situation in Martinaise genuinely supports.

And it's hard to understate how good the music is in this scene too. Breathy and expansive and yearning and defiant and sad.... It's everything that the story is set up to make you feel. It's big, and it's aching, and musically it's all about how it isn't time to give up yet, not now, not while there's still some way to stand on your two feet and do something about all the problems in the world.

And what's insane about that feeling and that idea is that it's actually the central thing that Harry and Kim deeply share. It's what makes them good cops. The story tells us - both directly through text, and through their actions (assuming that you're not playing Harry as a fucking fascist) - that they get up, every day, broken as they are, and try to Do Good in a world that is beautiful, and hostile, and complicated, and impossibly hard to see clearly through all of the ideologies, and the daily grind, and all the pointless pain, but you still have to try to do the right thing. Because it's worth it. Because that's what you owe it.

Harry has been beaten down by this challenge. He's tried to be good, and smart, and tough enough to take on the problems of the world, and of his community, and he has been brought here: to his last leg, to the Whirling-In-Rags, certain in his heart that he's been beat.

But Kim refuses to accept that answer, and so does Harry's soul (a stand-in for us, as the player), he refuses to accept that nothing can be done, just because the problems seem so large, and intractable.

And then Kim does the best thing that he could for Harry, and for us, who are facing the same exact questions in our own, much bigger, just as complicated world:

He stares the challenge down with courage. And despite what he believes through the clarity of his sight, he hopes for a better world:

It's this line, this Perception check, that I always come back to, when I think about what this game really wants me to take away from this whole story. There's more to it than just that, of course, this game is full of lessons about money, soldiers, workers, sex, power, honor, and beauty,

but this is the thing that I need the most, when I'm trying to find my own way forward. I need to be able to acknowledge that maybe I won't see the world become more kind, more loving, and more honest before I die. Maybe it'll still be just as hard and bleak in 20 or 50 or 100 years.

But still.

I still have to believe that the struggle won't break me down. That the work, the very belief that trying is worth it, will drive me forward,

that it will make me look young. when it should make me look tired.

And then just like that, it's over. It's time to go back inside, to let the moment fade, and to take that courage as far as it will take you.

There are so many good scenes and interactions in this incredible masterpiece of gameplay and storytelling, but the Day One debrief will stick with me forever, I think.

[doberbutts]

The other thing I liked about Being Human (US) is that the core cast are all incredibly flawed and damaged people who still love each other at their core and genuinely want things to work even though they make spectacularly stupid choices at times along the way.

Aiden is incredibly easy to trigger due to his laundry list of past and present issues and when he's triggered he doesn't shut down or go quiet. He gets ANGRY. He gets *violent*. There was a joke between my friend and I when we watched over the summer and holidays that he was a big fan of using neck snaps to solve his problems but was startlingly bad at dealing with the fallout except by continuing to kill people to cover up his problems. When he fights with Josh he gets personal, he's so combative and confrontational, and he wears that prickly exterior whenever someone sees through the stone mask and pokes at a fleshy bit a little too hard.

But we also see Aiden break down and cry. We see him sobbing uncontrollably as he loses control again and again and again. Every time he manages to scrape together a bit of happiness before either he or someone else fucks it all up and it blows up in his face. He wants to stop. He doesn't want to hurt people anymore. And he can't figure out how to do it because it's like hurting people and driving them away or killing them is the only thing he really knows how to do.

So many times while watching I would yell "talk to your fucking friends asshole" and he would continue to either shut them out or get close but lose his nerve halfway through and remain silent. He wanted that connection very badly and simply couldn't make it happen. The few times he did open up to Josh or Sally he was well received, which I think was really a bright point in the writing because it showed the audience that the problem was that Aiden couldn't figure out how to be vulnerable due to [redacted plot things] rather than because his friends were jerks.

And overall I think that balanced well with Sally, who's various exploits *also* usually blew up in her face, and Josh, who oscillates wildly between "sad and more than a little afraid of himself" and "picks weird hills to die on because it's literally the only way he manages to feel any amount of control in his life". Josh and Sally both frequently vent about things to Aiden, but he almost never reciprocated until pretty close to the end of the series. He hides things from them, he dodges questions, he finds convenient excuses to not talk about stuff, even when they prod and pry to get something out of him.

He only explains after things hit the fan and everything goes to shit. Usually, because his friends have been there to catch him when he falls, and he has to tell them *something* about why there's so much blood on his hands (sometimes literally) yet again. And they get mad at him, but ultimately they forgive him, because fuck, a werewolf and a ghost aren't really in any place to judge now are they. Even then, it's not usually the whole truth.

(And it's interesting, in the what-if scenario where they weren't there to catch him as he fell, just how bad things got)

But then he's afraid he's going to lose Josh, and he's afraid he's going to lose Sally, and he's afraid he's going to die, and he goes to Josh, and he says "I'm scared, and I don't know what to do".

And Josh stops, and realizes that Aiden has never asked him for help, not really, and has never actually been vulnerable with him, and has always worn the brave and stoic face even as things are melting down at catastrophic levels. And he says, I'm here.

Aiden is such a bad victim and he makes some real stinkers of bad choices along the way but they make sense for his character once you learn about all the shit that's happened since he became a vampire and how fucked up things got for him before he realized he needed out. And he backslides and he backslides and he backslides but he keeps trying because what's the point if he doesn't at least try.

Anyway the hill I will die on is that this show would have done numbers on tumblr if it came out slightly later. Ah well.