#I'm fine i promise
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Grief is so fucking weird. Life is normal and fine, and then you find a book of poetry. Or see a pair of cardinals. Or wake up to a thunderstorm. And the things they loved, that you love too, dig their claws into you. And it feels good as much as it hurts because it's loss and it's love, and when people imply it has an end they're lying. It's eternal, it's supposed to be.
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praying I get Kirby merch for christmas
praying I get Kirby merch for christmas praying I get Kirby merch for christmas praying I get Kirby merch for christmas praying I get Kirby merch for christmas praying I get Kirby merch for christmas praying I get Kirby merch for christmas praying I get Kirby merch for chrstmas praying I get Kirby merch for christmas praying I get kirby merch for christmas praying I get Kirby merch for christmas praying I get Kirby merch for christmas praying I get Kirby merch for christmas
#I'm fine I promise#I'm just PRAYING FOR KIRBY MERCH okay I'm fine#I promise please don't get concerned#ignore me#yes i know I probably misspelled Christmas but idc
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You'd think that I, as someone who likes to starve my blorbos for angst purposes, would remember that eating solid foods after a period of starvation can make you sick, but you see, I humgry and food taste good
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craving affection & attention vs being disgusted and appalled by the fact that i have a physical form and refusing to allow other people to perceive it lest i fall into what could quite possibly be the worst depression spiral of my adult life. who will win
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#anyways#i'm fine i promise#existance#tired of life#bloody hell#black and white#regulus black#regulus arcturus black#reggie black#the black brothers#sirius orion black#sirius black#padfoot#marauders era#marauders fandom#dark academia#chaotic academia#life#life woes#dark romantica#black and white film#black and white aesthetic#dark aesthetic#aesthetic#film scenes#film stills#film#ramblings#1900s style#ok i'm done
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I hate the fact that the only reason I care about my life and self is cause of about two people..
Just, feels sad
#vent#vent tw#vent cw#I'm fine I promise#just a thought..#And I do care about what people think of me rn#Esp after shit I regret doing#But I also had a reason to do something yeah#But at the same time the other person made it seem unforgivable#I feel like I was so much full of life before..#.. Posted almost every day or so until I stopped#I didn't have a reason to stop.. Or did I#Honestly I don't know#I don't know anyway#I hate being asked a question about me I can't answer myself#I hate when I rely on others to tell me what I am like#I hate it so much..#And when people say they don't see anything bad in me? Makes it worse#I hate when people don't tell me what they want me to do#Sure sometimes I'll forget but damn would it be nicer#cough cough my bad#just wanted to get this off of my chest#honestly it maybe wont
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You know I really did not want to believe that the ao3 author curse is real, but I think I'm currently in an active war zone.
So, hey, guys, writing fanficition is actually dangerous! Who would've thought that!
#for legal reasons this is /j#I'm fine i promise#anyways#this is hilarious#ao3#ao3 author curse#ao3 author
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Me: I can totally manage my emotions in a normal way!
Outer Wilds:
Me: *on the floor curled up into a ball sobbing uncontrollably*
#you'll never guess who got emotional over Older Than The Universe again#ok honestly I got emotional over the whole soundtrack that song was just the one that made me finally break down#in a good way though#I'm fine I promise#this game just makes me feel so many things and sometimes it shows through a nice little breakdown!#outer wilds my beloved#outer wilds#outer wilds echoes of the eye#I don't think this requires the spoiler tag? I think I'll be ok#meso's musings
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so uhhhhhhh listening to "dos oruguitas" and boy oh boy if i thought that song made me cry before i was completely and utterly wrong because WOW i don't think i've cried this hard to a song in a while
#that's what happens when you listen to the song#two months after your abuelo dies#and your dad's nickname for you is mariposa#i'm fine i promise#it was just an influx of emotions i was NOT expecting
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sometimes all you need is a cathartic cry before bed to reset your place in the universe
#i'm fine i promise#just. very overwhelmed and anxious about a lot of life things and the future and. yeah.#i think i also need sleep but we'll see if that happens#idk life is a lot and i'm happy with where i'm at but also constantly stressed about if i'm doing enough or the right thing#idk anxiety brain sucks and i could genuinely probably use some therapy but oh well#vent post#personal#just dumping my feels on ye old internet don't mind me
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ah yes the intense fear of becoming like your mother I'm sure that's healthy
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God I really forget sometimes just how much Twenty One Pilots' music helps me. And can save me. Or help me save myself. And just pull me right out of a bad head space. Truly, thank you so much, Tyler and Josh.
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Not that I'm here with -GREAT- news, but funeral for my grandma is over, and now she's finally back with the grampappy. I did a portrait for both of their funeral services, and thought it fitting to have them together. See you, space cowboys. <3
#personal#portraits#paintings#I'm fine I promise#Just very tired after driving all over the place for funeral and burial.#Don't forget to say I love you to people - you never know when you'll have to say goodbye.
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anyone else not get rid of the dapg upload notification until the next one comes out or is that just me
#i know theyre not going anywhere but im scarred okay#maybe i get a hit of dopamine everytime i flip open the notifications and am reminded that dnp really did come back for us#i'm Fine i promise#dnp#c.text#dan and phil
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I think the only way I will survive sitting through s6 of wwdits is by severely gaslighting myself
I will keep my screaming into the void under the cut
Nandermo who? 🙃🙃🙃Nandor and Guillermo's relationship has always been clinically platonic and they keep at least 5 feet apart at all times🙃🙃🙃
Also being queer has nothing to do with love and everything to do with paying royalties to daniel quasar so you can wave a coloured flag around for the duration of a twenty minute episode 🙃🙃🙃🙃
🙃🙃🙃Gosh I really hope Guillermo finds a nice generic heteronormative girlfriend this season🙃🙃🙃🙃 I might just rewatch s4 of BBC sherlock as a warm up 🙃🙃🙃
🙃🙃QUEERBATING WHAT DO YOU MEAN QUEERBATING 🙃🙃🙃 I'M FINE IT'S FINE IT'S ALL FINE🙃🙃🙃🙃
🙃🙃🙃PAUL SIMMS PUNCHED ME IN THE FACE ONE TIME AND IT WAS AWESOME 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃
#sorry just had to get this out of my system#i'm fine i promise#but i do think i'm already getting tjlc flashbacks#ugh#the s6 trailer made me a bit queasy tbh#they don't even have guidja#stfu ladykeane
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Having a melancholy friends, the inherent sadness of being is a hell of a bitch.
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