#I'm definitely going to be using this method going into the future too! In fact I have the next two notebooks picked out for testing :D

[biteofcherry]

*tentatively walks up to the askbox…*

Entering the babe lottery for one Nick Fowler, please…

✨✨✨

You took another sip of your wine, despite feeling the heat of it blooming in your cheeks and spreading down your neck.

You weren't tipsy, but the alcohol combined with your excited nervousness deepened your blush. It also made your tongue feel a little heavier. You really hoped you won't mess up the words you wanted to say.

"I'm having a really great time." You said softly, looking at Nick across the table.

Going out for a date wasn't perhaps the scariest thing to do, but after a year of not dating at all it was a big step for you. It was a step into the public, while for a year you lived almost like a hermit. It also meant making yourself vulnerable in a sense, for the opportunity to form a deep connection. A connection you once had, but which left scars.

Fortunately, Nick made the date really lovely and comfortable.

The fact you've been talking for weeks via a dating app definitely helped. A few times during the date he paused in confusion when you mentioned something you spoke of before, but you assigned it to his own nerves and the general awkwardness of the first date.

"I'm glad." He replied, but his smile faltered. "You're a sweetheart, a real doll-"

"But?" You cringed, setting your glass aside and clenching your hands on your lap.

This was a punch. You really thought you were having a good time and that there was some prospect for the future. If not for a relationship, then at least some good fucking?

Yeah, you really needed that, too. Your toys weren't doing it enough for you. Not after...

"But you should've picked up the phone and talk to me, instead of forcing me to restore to such methods."

A new voice resounded behind you.

No, not new. A familiar one. You knew it all to well and it sent a shiver down your spine.

He brushed his fingers along your bare shoulder as he passed you and circled the table. Nick stood up and left without another word to you, without any explanation. His chair was instantly filled. By the devil from your past.

"Ari." You whispered his name.

"Love." He looked at you with the same calm possessiveness, which was so much scarier than if he was all impulsive and reckless.

"Please, don't hurt Nick. He-" you blurted out, too well aware of how far Ari's possessiveness went.

"He's fine." Ari stated. "His pretty face was useful for the whole charade."

"His-" you paused, your eyes widening as you realized what he meant.

"Yes, love. On that app, you were talking to me all this time." Ari smiled at you, triumph glinting in his eyes. "I wouldn't allow any other man to come anywhere close to knowing you deeply. Or intimately."

[plaguedoctormemes]

i'm not deleting my tumblr blogs but this whole debacle with the AI stuff is discouraging me to at least not post original content here and limit my time on social media in general. Also to be clear on my stance on AI, which I think is very much influenced by my background as both an artist and a professional graphic designer: I think it can be a very useful tool and I don't even necessarily inherently find it completely harmful. Some forms of AI are already well used and completely normalized, but I find most of the time generative AI as we know it is pretty harmful and its harms outweighs its benefits currently (largely grifts, scams and misinfo). It needs regulation desperately, but old cunt politicians are too dumb to really care about or understand how important the issue is right now. I do not believe that AI will simply peter off or crash. From a marketing standpoint, i feel like AI usage will cool off or become more specialized (like creating whole machines *just* trained on individual brands for personal use and whatnot) but I have no idea how far away that would be. I just believe there might come a time where everyone is over the "spectacle" of generative AI and will find it inaffective or inherently associated with cheapness. At least in the most base sense in advertising, it is generally much better to have your own photographs and original branded artwork as it proves authenticity. You can only see a illusionist do so many tricks before you're bored by them and expect them, and we're already getting to the point where even the average Joe is tired of hearing about AI and the future, and at least when it comes to art and writing i just... don't care? i don't give a shit about it. BACK TO TUMBLR: I'm aware that its likely that mine and everyone elses' posts here have already been scraped. My thing is that it's more the symbolism of Tumblr's "opt-out" choice: memorial blogs, inactive blogs, and so on are going to be scraped without consent. No banners or pop ups to notify users of this change, you either have to either HAPPEN UPON to see staff's post or see others talk about it to even know about it. Since the beginning of this whole AI boom i had no issue with AI data training as long as it's consentual and ethical, but obviously it most of the time isnt. Tumblr's method of rolling out this change was purposely underhanded. I'm never going to simply be "okay" or normalize in my mind the fact that big tech companies feel entitled to people's privacy- which i believe extends to our online lives. I don't think myself or anyone else should ever feel completely apathetic to the fact that people you don't know, that definitely do not need it, are making money off of you without your consent or knowledge. Just to be clear this isnt about what is and isnt "real art" or whatever for me. It's just a huge distraction from the main point, a big debate that will go absolutely nowhere. What's more important about it is that big techs and billionaires don't have interest in making the world a better place, they only care about eliminating our "distractions" that get in the way of them making money and accumulating more wealth. My solution: We need to make them deepthroat shotguns and machetes.

[h2llish]

idia rambles nehehe.

i address ortho by his name, but i call ortho (dead brother) by referring to him as idia's brother.

he's an asshole. he has the biggest inferiority complex yet also a superiority complex. he'll make harsh comment about someone (usually accidental, i've come to realize), yet he's also so shitty to himself and so insecure. which is actually not as shocking as it may sound. just like how vil is both insecure and confident in his beauty, idia is obviously confident in his gaming and tech abilities, while remaining insecure, which i think stems from the isolation he experienced growing up and the loss of his brother.

so, first i want to acknowledge his social anxiety, or just anxiety in general. it's actually not too unrealistic compared to other media. anxiety comes in unassigned levels. some people experience anxiety on a quieter side, while others experience it on a level where it makes it difficult to so much as interact with someone before they're thrown into an anxiety attack. this represents idia perfectly. (i would know myself, as i had a meltdown anytime stepping a foot into public was brought up regardless of how hard i tried to step outside my house, but i got therapy and i'm a lot better. no more extreme meltdowns!)

his anxiety definitely stems from the isolation he experienced growing up. he had no one but his brother and the adults who roamed the styx halls. he had no friends, and growing up, was seen as a prodigy of sorts; he was intelligent and capable, and of course, the next shroud to styx.

and then he lost his brother, ultimately leading him into a complete meltdown that led him to building his brother into a robot. he hated himself and missed his brother so much that he ended up completely creating a new brother to cope. it was actually a terrible method of grieving, but it's not like he had anyone there to help him through it; his parents didn't seem to reach out and try to help him move on from his brother's death, and cope with the fact that he is not at fault.

he had no friends, and didn't think he could make or keep any, because of his station at styx. he seen online friends as easier to hold because there's nothing face to face, no need to explain his personal life, he held no emotional attachment that comes with irl friends.

he goes silent when speaking to someone and chooses to speak using his ipad. he is so self-conscious about himself, like his looks for one, and overthinks every interaction he has. like i said, his superiority complex mostly stems from his capabilities in gaming and tech, but he has no confidence in any other aspect of his life.

i don't see many people attacking him for what he did during his overblot (ykw, trying to take over the world), which is pretty biased just because his trauma is "worse", but now i'm gonna address that.

he and his brother only really wanted to go out into the world, they wanted to be normal and make friends, and play games with those friends. but when idia tried to give them that, he lost his brother. but it wasn't his fault, he was still a child. a child who was cut off and isolated and expected to live up to expectations since he was going to take over styx in the future.

ortho is connected to his brother, ortho is his brother, just not the one he tried to replace. so, when ortho was drawn to the soul of his brother in the underworld and remembered vil's and rook's words, he felt like what he was doing was right, to help idia who had never properly grieved.

idia was never approached for what happen, he was never given the proper comfort and help in his grieving process after the death of his brother, and ortho and his brother knew that. they were two children who wanted to help their brother who was still grieving despite how much he remained unaware of that himself.

when he heard his dead's brother's voice and ortho, saying they would change the world, they could make friends, and they no longer had to live the way they do. blot built despite his curse and he overblotted because he never properly grieved. that grief and anger at himself added on until it piled over enough to go against a curse.

idia's trauma goes deep, very deep. and it's sad what he and his brother(s) went through.

if he had gained the proper grieving council he needed from his parents, maybe things would've gone differently. although his life cannot be changed, having support, and acknowledgement from his parents could've helped steer from his overblot.

although things ended okay in the end, with his brothers both there in soul, and his life no longer suffocated by isolation and a secret, it's sad that an overblot had to get him there.

[wings-of-ink]

Hello! I went to sleep while finishing GC so naturally I had dreams abt it and some random questions- would you ever consider adding character descriptions for a Trans MC? (I know this is more work for u so feel free to ignore jus curious).

Also on that note I wanna add that the naming scene did in fact make me cry, I know it’s not the internet to be trans coded but- it just struck a cord with me- jus the fact that I got to choose my name and my fathers were happy for me🥲😭🙏🏼a whole box of puffs+ gone in one sitting. I can’t express how much I LOVE Da and Papa, they’re my Roman Empire I love them so much. They’re just so loving and accepting 🥲I wanna hug them

Speakin of characters I’d like to hug- Will we still be able to dig deeper into Zahns backstory even if we don’t romance them? Bc…I just…I wanna drag them back home far FAR from their Sect and just love them (platonically) forever. I wont deny tho I’m just very curious about their cult and like…wtf is going on there 👀

Ok this is already too long I’ll leave it at that💞gonna go reread this masterpiece now.

(Side note your description of the honey cakes made me wanna try them so I’m currently looking for recipes 🕺gonna eat them while I reread)

Have the loveliest day!

Sincerely,

-Oswin obsessed anon

Hello my dear!

First off, that is very sweet and I am loving that you dreamed about it!

I had wondered about making something of the sort, but like you said, it adds to an already complex system. My thinking when I did the character creation as it is was that, at least in this world, whoever you are - you just are. That's kinda how I see myself because I've always been in a grey area for my own identity. So, I just am. That's why I didn't enter any sort of specified option for transitioning.

I don't know if anything like the Trans descriptors will be in the game. If I did them, I'd want them to be at least meaningful. So, I won't say no, and it's something I'll take to heart when I consider the scope of the project.

I am thrilled that the naming scene was meaningful for you. I think I know how you feel there.

If I could magic any two people from my IF to life, I would probably go with Papa and Da, lol. Sorry to the RO lovers, but the world needs these daddies!

You will definitely see more of Zahn's backstory even if you don't romance them. Each RO will have that sort of baggage and you will be able to "try before you buy" so to speak. I haven't decided how deep that will go or how those will change depending on if they are romanced or not. I'm considering designing it so that you would need to romance them to get the entire scope of their background, problems, and such and help them find some sort of closure during their route. Zahn will start opening up more before you know it though!

Not to worry about a long ask - I love reading! Lol

I actually found a honey cake recipe that I wanted to post with a future update for chapter 3! But I'll pop it in here for you in case you want it. It's a bit fancier than what would be available to the MC's family, but it would be delectable. This chef is my all time favorite as well. Love the way he talks and his silly puns. I use his methods and recipes a lot and they never fail.

I hope your day is also lovely, Anon! Thank you for dropping in! ^_^

[sadruru]

For Melissa! Eros 5, Ludus 5, Pragma 2, Philautia 1 please ❤️

Thank you, thank you very much 💘 !!!Disclaimer!!! I may not be able to answer some questions correctly because of the language barrier. I'm sorry 😥

Eros 5

How closely is their opinion of their own beauty (or lack thereof) linked to their confidence? Do they see themselves as more or less worthy of love or sex based on how attractive they feel?

Melissa has never doubted her beauty, in terms of ego she can safely rival Daeran! She is very proud, and this is reinforced every time she uses her looks, and she usually succeeds. After one “specific” incident in the past, she's only gotten more promiscuous and wild. I'm not going to say what it was... But it was a very wrong way to experience “love”. This is definitely not an incident Melissa would want to talk about. Does Melissa consider herself worthy of sex? Yes. She's beautiful and experienced. It's her usual method of relaxing and forgetting herself, like alcohol. Does Melissa consider herself worthy of love? No, never. She stopped expecting to be loved for who she is a long time ago, so she behaves as she pleases, even if no one likes it. What does it matter what others think of you, when everyone has already made up their own mind at first sight?

Ludus 5

What seduction techniques are most likely to be effective when it comes to your OC? Are there some things guaranteed to get them going? Or are they immune to such things?

No cringe during seduction and making yourself look like the king of the world ;D Then you'll just make her laugh. Don't be too assertive if she's not really interested. And if you try to force her... Worst case scenario, you're already dead. In fact, Melissa is open to any kind of flirting. She likes directness and confidence. She might be attracted to an unusual partner. Serious. For example, for her a person is very boring, but if a person has, for example, a lot of scars, it already becomes more interesting. She also likes guys who look tough and strong. ...But then Woljif bursts through the door, breaks her system and steals her heart.ХD

Pragma 2

What is the biggest challenge that your OC has had to overcome in a long-term relationship or friendship? What helped them get through this?

Good question. The biggest challenge for her is trust and faith in a positive outcome. Fear of tomorrow and the future. It's easier to destroy everything herself than to wait for others to do it. Because of this mindset, she almost ruined her life forever. In that case, she would have had a very sad but expected end after the game when she closed the World Wound. Immediately then, no one would ever see the commander again after the battle, and victory for all would be overshadowed by Melissa's sudden disappearance. Maybe someday I'll reveal that ending, but there's a lot of glass in there... You can try to guess what happened to her and where she disappeared to. It's pretty easy. Melissa is often compared to stone or iron for her character and actions, but stone has a tendency to break down over time and iron has a tendency to rust. Let's be honest: Melissa is a funny pessimist with years of severe depression and a self-destructive lifestyle. She doesn't want to appear vulnerable or she'll become unnecessary dead weight. But I try not to give bad endings! Faithful friends will be there to show that they can be trusted and will always help. Time and events will present challenges that will force her to rethink her own life, to stop being afraid and running away, to face her problems head-on instead of hiding behind another drink. And her favorite thief will prove that she is also worthy of love and affection, that he needs her always and he is ready to listen to all her thoughts and problems.

Philautia 1

Does your OC have a healthy sense of their own worth and value? Or do they see themselves as failing to live up to their original potential? Perhaps they are convinced of their own sinful or inadequate nature?

It's the other side of the coin. She thinks she's beautiful, but she has absolutely no appreciation for herself. It's like she's not a diamond, but a copper coin for barter. That's normal for her. Even death hasn't taught her to care about herself, her body or her health. If you cut off Melissa's arm, she wouldn't be too upset. If need be, she will be ready to die for someone very close to her. Before her death she tried to save her friends in this way, it's better not to know what was done to her… But she didn't care. Periodically Melissa and her gang will be caught by inept robbers and murderers. Every time she found a feather from them, as if someone was reminding her of herself on purpose. Never show her the azure feather. It'll blow her mind. I'll try to explain why later. But she's being hunted... It's not uncommon for her to jokingly or seriously say how bad she is, even though the same Ember claims it's not true. In time, that will be corrected. For Woljif's sake, she will become more careful and start to appreciate and take care of herself, because she has someone and something to live for (he will often tell her off). But she will still have a hard time staying unharmed in battle.

A little bonus:

[vro0m]

Sorry if you don't really care about this, but I'm a big Lando/McLaren fan and think McLaren manage him in all aspects just fine, and probably show more care for him and patience with him than a lot of teams would with that "ripping himself to shreds after every race that doesn't go to plan" mentality.

McLaren actually have tried to help him with that mental aspect of it several times. Andrea has talked about how they've added a therapist to their traveling team, both for their drivers or for any of their traveling staff to talk to if needed. Beyond that, I know last year — when it really was Lando screwing up in quali more so than a team error thing — Andrea Stella mentioned several times how he was going to discuss this with Lando and see if a sports psychologist would be something he should consider and actually made quite a few encouraging comments in the media about how he didn't need to torture himself over the mistakes or what ifs, they just needed to work together as a team to figure out how to avoid those errors in the future.

And coincidentally enough, in Lando's newest Beyond the Grid podcast, he himself discusses how this has been his preferred method of coping with tough race results, and he even goes as far to accredit that mentality to WHY he got into Formula 1 and is basically like "So why would I change it now?" He mentions trying other things to cope with race results, and none of it being quite as effective as his whole beat-himself-up-over it, debrief with the team to learn what he/they can do better next time, and then let the anger/disappointment/frustration go.

He's actually talked before about how Sochi impacted his mental health and how he did actually attend therapy for a while after it, essentially because he did his whole "beat-himself-up-over it, debrief with the team to learn what he/they can do better next time" but couldn't quite reach the letting the emotions of that race go. And that's definitely not something he shies away from sharing or talking about. He is very outspoken about the mental health care he has received when he's felt he needed it.

I'm not saying it's a healthy way of coping with disappointment necessarily, but McLaren have tried to intervene when it's become too severe. It's mostly just the fact that Lando doesn't seem to want to change or conceal this side of himself; he actually seems to think if makes him perform better at following races. I'm guessing he's told the team as much as well, because I know there was a race late last year or early this year where Andrea was yet again asked about it and basically gave a similar answer to Lando - "that's just his process, he'll be fine and he'll bounce back stronger next time" type answer. McLaren definitely have helped him with the mental side of things though, really going all the way back to his rookie year if you listen to some of his early 2021 interviews about mental health.

Honestly it's good to know! I like that they're taking it seriously, and that he feels like he can talk about it openly.

I personally hope it's not as intense as it looks like from the outside because I have a hard time believing it can be worth it if it is but how would i know, you know?

Obviously none of us know him or how any of it actually is IRL so. Yeah.

[pttucker]

⸢I don't know whether you're a suitable guy for this 'three methods' or not, but at the least, I'm sure of this one thing.⸥ The following words were eerily similar to a certain body of text that I was familiar with. ⸢The you reading this story will definitely make it out of here alive.⸥ Han Sooyoung's afterwords came to an end there. For the longest time, I couldn't tear my eyes away from the full-stop at the end of the sentence.

Yeah, okay, at this point I feel like it's almost blatant that Sooyoung is the author of TWSA and the longer I think on things, the more I'm honestly ashamed that I never thought of this theory before now. I guess I was too focused on it being Dokja or Secretive Plotter...who might also be Dokja lmfao...and as a result just kind of ignored the very obvious possibility right in front of me.

Like, I recently started to think that Han Sooyoung is the author mainly because of the fact that we've still got three unknowns left and what looks to be three protagonists of ORV, i.e. Joonghyuk, Dokja, Sooyoung >>> Secretive Plotter, Oldest Dream, The Author. And, thinking on it, a general novel also has three people doesn't it? Writer, Reader, and the Character(s).

And also because Sooyoung's "Predictive Plagarism" is…interesting. She can plot out an entire novel whereas Anna Croft can only use her Future Sight three times a day in very specific ways? Hmmm. Not to mention this power carried her forward all the way to the 1863rd round and the only thing to mess up her plans at the very end was Dokja showing up. Dokja…who can create revisions of TWSA with his actions.

Even Sooyoung herself says that her predictions could be wrong, but even if you take it in the opposite direction and take them to be definite futures, we have this:

Now originally, the [Predictive Plagiarism] was the 1863rd-turn Han Sooyoung's power. The Han Sooyoung of this turn, the one responsible for writing this book, also had acquired that power now. And the result of that was this very book. Here was the brand-new signpost for me to follow, me who had read the 'Ways of Survival'.

I mean, it's possible that she straight up wrote TWSA (and/or the Revisions) with Predictive Plagarism and then forgot. Or that she's so good at predicting what will happen because she's literally the author so of course she knows how her own mind works.

And now she's literally directly mirroring TWSA and calling Dokja her sole reader despite literally immediately before that talking about both Dokja and Joonghyuk. So why is Dokja her sole reader? Why wouldn't she assume Joonghyuk might read it? Might also read it with Dokja? Not to mention Dokja just immediately devours it with a passion that he's only ever shown TWSA.

Also, I kind of glossed over it in one of my tags on a previous post, but Dokja got the Final Version immediately after wanting to ask Sooyoung if he's done a good job and if everything will turn out okay. Wanted to ask her as an author. And that's not the first time.

He's asked her before about TWSA, specifically why she would have written it if she wrote it. At the time, the way she responded to Dokja made me think he was the author but now, after seeing that Dokja can affect the course of the story both inside (revisions) and outside of it (comments to the author) plus everything shifting towards the idea of "the characters are going to make their own story" makes me think that was foreshadowing of an entirely different kind. And let's not even get started on this quote we just got:

The author of this scenario was Han Sooyoung. Regrettably, there was no guarantee of the work ending up as a success even if the author did an excellent job. – Time to start our attack, Yoo Joonghyuk. Because the ones to complete the story were the 'Characters', not the author, that's why.

Kind of sounds like the entire theme that we've been working towards for the whole plot, doesn't it?

And there's other clues, looking back.

Sooyoung always insisting she didn't plagiarize TWSA and Dokja even confirming that with Lie Detection. Sooyoung claiming that everything kind of pulls from each other & there's lots of common themes...and then we see that TWSA is full of other genres and very obviously referenced common tropes like isekai, reincarnation, mecha, battle tournaments, etc.

And then we have Asuka Ren writing Peace Land and then forgetting it and thinking it was something she read, which I have always thought was foreshadowing, though at the time I attributed that foreshadowing to Dokja. But more importantly, Asuka Ren getting discouraged because Peace Land wasn't doing well and breaking down and writing something else (Kyrgios) that was a bit more pandering to the general public. Almost makes you wonder if TWSA wasn't doing well and Sooyoung decided to write something else that took off...

And oh my goodness, I just went back to find the post to reference for the above and LOOK AT THIS WEBCOMIC PANEL! LOOK AT WHO'S LITERALLY IN FRAME WHEN ASUKA REN IS TALKING ABOUT "WRITER WHOSE WORK IS BEING READ BY A READER LIKE YOU." AHHHHHH.

That's actually so blatant I'm straight up ashamed of myself, especially when Dokja outright says he isn't the author, he's the reader. I actually remember thinking it was interesting that Sooyoung was there but figured "oh she's an author too." 🤦‍♂️

And there's other things too, some of which are admittedly more of a stretch than others.

Her attributes - not just the author attribute but also avatar. She can make and control multiple people. Kind of like an author writing a book, huh? Except then she's lost control of one of them because she put too much of herself in it (or vice versa). And now we have the novel where the characters are telling the story...

The huge emphasis on how gorgeous Joonghyuk is, not to mention various other characters' looks, which are compared to Joonghyuk's. Meanwhile, back in Peace Land again we have:

In the midst of running, Asuka Ren often looked back at the rocky area. Han Sooyoung glanced at Ren and asked, "Are you sorry?" "Huh? No." "Don't you feel that it is weird? It is probably the first time you saw a character that you made." "…Yes." "Furthermore, he is handsome."

Sooyoung not only focusing on how handsome Kyrgios is but tying that together with her statement about meeting a character who you created. Seems like that could potentially mirror someone else and their creation, hmm?

Also, on the topic of looks, I recently thought that maybe Dokja isn't from this dimension and that's why he looks blurred (because the Sooyoung of the other universe looked blurred too when speaking to "our" Sooyoung). But now I realize...there's no evidence at all that Sooyoung 1863rd doesn't also look blurred to the people of her world. And if we maybe consider that she's the original Sooyoung... What if both Dokja and Sooyoung are blurred to everyone but each other because they're both outside of this world as reader and author and the characters can't ever fully know what either looks like from inside the story?

Or, heck, I'm not certain we actually have proof that our Sooyoung isn't also blurred or that she sees Dokja as blurred? Like, sure, she calls him ugly but it's Sooyoung, plus that wasn't unprompted, Dokja was specifically asking about his looks and she kinda mocked/teased him. And there's even a scene in the Webtoon when he's dying of poison (the Nirvana arc) where she's like "he actually looks a little handsome" or something along those lines. Which I figured was worth mentioning because I remember thinking it was weird at the time but won't necessarily consider canon since it's the Webtoon and the novel is way more vague:

Like her, he was an ordinary person before the world was destroyed. Such a person had jumped onto a stage to decide the world's fate and was moving the main characters. Han Sooyoung had forgotten for a moment that Kim Dokja was also a normal human. She stretched out a finger and touched Kim Dokja's mouth. Then her face became a strange mixture of a smile and a frown. Han Sooyoung giggled. "…It is really strange."

...Actually that sounds vaguely foreshadow-y even without trying to decide if she can see his face or not.

And too we recently had the whole "which story will you vote for" thing going on where the dokkaebis are talking to each other. Now that we have at least two separate "versions" of TWSA going on I wonder if it's more along the lines of the author's version vs the reader's version?

idk I'll probably think of even more things if I continue reflecting on the novel, but this is long enough.

At this point idek what I'll do if Sooyoung isn't the author because it fits way better than my previous Dokja/Secretive Plotter theories and I was pretty certain at the time that it was definitely Dokja. 😂

[askthefivefallen]

Angel has fat nuggets and Charlie has KeeKee, is there any chance any of you would want a pet in the future? I think Junior would be a very good cat dad.

J: "Oh, I think I'd like having a cat! Should probably figure out how to take care of myself first, though, before getting a pet..."

R: "Hey, you're taking care of yourself just fine, dude. You can feed and water yourself, plus hygiene- I think that's enough to consider yourself for being a cat dad. It's not like you have to teach the cat accounting."

L: "Plus, having a pet can be therapeutic. Maybe we should ask about visiting a... pound? I think that's what they're called."

R: "Why a pound specifically?"

L: "Well, after spending over two centuries indiscriminately killing Sinners, offering a home to those considered unwanted might be a step towards... something. It was just a thought."

T: "Well, we'll need to be careful about visiting pounds in Hell. Pounds can also be Hellhound adoption agencies, and there's a pretty big difference between adopting a pet and adopting a kid."

A: "Wait, do Hellcats exist? I want a Hellcat."

T: "Did- did you not just hear me-"

A: "I heard you but fuck it, I'm a great role model, I want a Hellcat."

R: "Too bad, you're not getting a Hellcat."

A: "Fuck you."

R: "Or any kind of cat. You need to learn how to mind boundaries before you go near another cat; the fact Keekee only teleported you into the air instead of a hellfire pit is the only reason you're not extra crispy right now."

A: "I'm getting a Hellcat, fucking watch me."

L: "I think you'd do better with a ball python. They're more sedate and come in pretty colors."

A: "Ball py- isn't that a snake?"

L: "Yes. A literal, actual snake, the embodiment of defiance against Heaven, the misunderstood creature bearing an eternal curse."

A: "... okay yeah I want a snake now."

R, quietly: "Nice save."

A: "If I get a black snake and put a top hat on it, think I could convince the Egg Boiz it's Sir Pentious' son?"

J: "Could you? Absolutely. Would you survive Cherri finding out?"

T: "You know, all this talk of pets makes me want one. Lefty, what sort of pet should I get?"

L: "Uh, well... it's hard to say? I mean, I would say a working breed of dog as a running partner but you... have that covered? A boxer might suit you, though. They're very playful and energetic."

T: "Playful and energetic, that's me! I think you should get a bird, Lefty. Like, a falcon or something. You'd be a good falconer. Falconeer?"

L: "Falconer and really? I would've expected um... something like a canary."

T: "Ah, c'mon, you're one of the most fearless divers ever! I've seen you pull up from a dive at the actual last possible second! You're totally a falcon."

J: "Oh, hey, there's actually a pound in the Pride Ring. It's not too far away, either, and look! They've got some cats. Think we could go and just look?"

R: "Two things: one, we can't all leave the hotel at the same time, and two, don't I get a pet?"

L: "Righty, we all know you adopted two of the rats, you're covered on pets."

R: "I have no idea what you're talking about."

A: "Oh, fuck off, you're not subtle. You named one Squeakerton and the other McCheesings. Which... honestly, are we sure we can't become actual Sinners, because those name choices are actual Sins."

R: "They chose their names!"

L: "Writing a bunch of names on pieces of paper and waiting for them to eat one is not a good naming mechanic."

R: "Oh, what, should I use the Adam method?"

T: "Wait... do rats have tits?"

L: "I mean, yes, they're mammals, so they definitely have-"

R: "Tits, Junior, Ass, you three go to the pound and see if any of the animals there catch your eyes. Because, honestly, I don't want a biology lesson right now on the sexual organs of rats."

[catnift]

My Writing Setup (ft Zettelkasten)

My writing journey so far has been an endless road of pushbacks and trying to conform to the conventions, without much luck. So (only very recently) I've decided to just throw all of my previous knowledge out of the window and try to figure out what actually feels good to do, because I get snagged on the smallest of stuff, i.e. "it's 5 min past a whole hour, ergo too late to start"-type of things.

After a whirlwind of experimenting with various ideas and methods, I have landed on the Zettelkasten side of the internet. If you've never heard of it before, then I urge you to check it out here: https://zettelkasten.de/ . The Zettelkasten community is surprisingly active and is (at least partly) lead by some German guy, who does a lot of his podcasts and vlogs with a bare upper body. I choose to believe that this is optional, but it might be crucial for especially intense work. The original method was used to more effectively put together scientific articles, after all.

Anyway, the purebred Zettelkasten method, much like the purebred Bullet Journal method, is kind of intense for casuals. I've tried both in their full glory and it got messy real quick, so my advice is to start off with the bare minimum and work up to a level that feels comfortable to you. Always stop and think about your needs the moment you feel the slightest mental or physical resistance at any point - in the end, all of these 'second brain' methods are suggestions and the only true good method is the one you regularly use. Also, only you yourself need to understand it, so no need to cater to 'conventional logic'.

So the Zettelkasten method, at its core, is basically a personal Wiki, which connects snips of knowledge together on an even playing field (i.e. there is no "History" or "Maths" notebook, but a single monster book of "stuff"). The glroy of it is that you have these base notes that you can then link and connect to others and make up very complex thoughts. The original method was implemented purely on paper, so it's very versatile, once you understand the basic. For me however, paper is a fire hazard, so I use Obsidian, which again can go as hardcore as you want, but I use very basic functions. But maybe more on that in a separate post.

There have been talks on the Zettelkasten formus of some people trying to write creative fiction with it, but I'm not quite sure how they do it. For me, I have dumbed the system down significantly. Various scenes and worldbuilding facts in my stories are separate notes. My brain doesn't necessarily know everything about my WIPs in advance, but I know the general order of events, general "rules" and I have vivid scenes in my mind. So I just .. write them :) In any order at any time I'm inclined to write. I have a series of master notes that links to various topics and everything links to each other. "Editing" is going to a random note and checking both the text and links. If something no longer works, then it's a separate note and doesn't need to go anywhere - it can just stay there for future linking and/or reference. Once I'm ready to put some chapter together, then the scenes are already there and it's just a matter of putting them in some cohesive order and connecting them, which is a challenge, but way easier than figuring them out outright. If I need to check some descriptions for consistency, then 'stable' things link to the same note (for example some specific character), so it's way easier to check the details. If I really like some setting, I can describe it to my hearts content - it may not be used in my current WIP, but maybe it'll be perfect for some other future WIP.

Anyway, this is a whole lifestyle, to be sure, and I'm basically at the beginning of it. So this will definitely be a repeated topic on this blog :)

[oraclekleo]

🌻

Hiii! 🥹

I’m Yiel, I’m 23yrs old. Born in 7th of Aug, 1999✨

I recently started getting interested in Astrology and Tarot and tho my account here has been around for a while, I’m fairly new here as a Stay (SKZ Fan) 🥹

I’ve been into Kpop since the pandemic started, mainly only stanning Astro. I was a very active Aroha (Astro Fan) back then, but life happened and I have to slow down but my love for them never changed a bit, knowing they’re the ones that saved me from going crazyyy when the lockdown started. A lot happened since, and its been quiet a sad time especially because of what happened last April. Which lead me to find comfort in Stray Kids, and Tumblr. And I’m honestly so glad I did 😭

I mostly listen to Pop, Pop-Punk, Rock, and Country Music. I’m also an aspiring singer hehe. I honestly love the mystery of what the future holds, maybe thats why I enjoy reading people’s interpretations of tarot readings and I have also started to study the tarot by myself and the help of the internet as well 🫶🏻

I found your blog whilst scrolling through #StrayKidsTarot 🥰 I ended up looking into one of your readings for Chan, and somehow, something clicked in my head and I immediately followed you, went straight to your masterlist. I can’t tell you how happy I got when I saw Astro in one of the groups you’ve read for 😭

In all of the accounts I followed, yours is definitely one of those that really seemed to be enjoying what they do and is knowledgeable about Tarot, also I find it amazing that you have Games and PAC’s too! 🥹

Through your blog, I see you as someone very dedicated and happy with what they do, and I think you’re an amazing person all throughout🫰🏻

Love and Light ✨

Hello and be very welcomed to my blog! 💖

Okay! First of all, you have used the sunflower emoji but I can't see which idol you would like the compatibility reading with. You have written such a beautiful and long message and that one information probably slipped out 😁 No worries, this actually happens to me all the time. You have mentioned Stray Kids and Astro and therefore I don't dare to assume you would want Yeonjun compatibility reading. You have followed the rules perfectly so if you sent me the name of idol you want to be shipped with, I'll do your reading, no problem. 😊

Now when the official part is off my chest, thank you so much for joining my little Tumblr family here. And yes, tarot is indeed my passion and I mostly do it for my own sake not for the popularity or such 😂 The fact I can share my interest with others is only a pleasant bonus. 😊

I got my first deck 17 years ago so it's something I'm into for quite a while. 😂 I'm always happy to hear it when somebody wants to start tarot reading themselves. It's one of the greatest hobbies! I often give suggestions on card interpretations here and I even still run the offer where you can practice with me where I will give a feedback to you and help in any way I possibly can 😁 So! Don't be shy to drop ask or message me anytime. I have already several apprentices. 😂

I'm truly happy you like the content here. I try to keep it diverse. I'm the type of person who would start get bored if only doing one thing again and again. That's the reason for games and interactive stories and Idols After Dark series... I like to keep things interesting for myself. If I haven't detoured like this, I might have completed my requests much sooner but maybe also never because I would lose interest in tarot. 😂

I am in deed dedicated but I'm also super organized and methodical 😂 You should see my charts and docs regarding tarot readings. 🤣

Anyway! Happy to have you here. Don't hesitate to interact with me anytime. I love to talk to my followers. Even about silly things. We had tea discussion, we had a villain discussion that gets ressurected once in while 😂

Be blessed! ✨

Kleo 🦄

[virtuousvigil]

Hey! So I just saw your latest vent post 💔 I just wanted to say that even from your post alone, I can tell you’re an incredibly hard worker. The fact that you recognize you’re giving yourself a hard time, but can’t help but still feel shitty, is a helpless feeling. But I think being so cognizant of it is a good sign.

I don’t think there’s anything I could say to stop you from feeling how you’re feeling right now, or tell you something you don’t already know, but…your readers will still love your work even if you don’t hit the deadlines. Your passions are still valid whether 10 people see it, or 100 people. If you couldn’t finish something on time now, there will only be more opportunities that will come knocking at your door in the future. And you are ONE HUNDRED percent right, this is supposed to be something you LOVE and that brings you joy. It’s not supposed to stress you out.

I feel like your brain has an endless amount of creative ideas/visions that your physical body just can’t keep up with, which is a terrible blessing/curse for great minds. I hope your therapy session goes well, and that you can get some type of break from this mental hell 🥺 rooting for you

this is so thoughtful and sweet, i really appreciate you reaching out to leave me this message. it doesn't stop the feeling but it definitely helps counteract it, so thank you for that. this reply might be long too so my bad on that. but a lot of what was said there, i know is just a reflection of exhaustion... especially since it was late at night & i couldn't sleep & i was just feeling really antsy about the fact that i wanted to be working on my stuff but just. fucking couldn't for the life of me. it sucks being in that space :c

i agree full heartedly with your statement that it's due to having too many ideas/visions for my physical body to keep up with, that's the perfect way to describe it and tbh something i never even really considered fully lmao.

it's frustrating having so much i want to do but not enough time, space, resources, or just... genuine health to actually do it. if we're using the analogy as "source" or "creativity" as a well of water, it's like... my own well is an overpouring current. for ages it was bone-dry, then little by little it built up with a lot of rain and storms; eventually it broke the damn holding it back entirely, and now it's essentially a raging river. but i don't have enough stones to build any structure around it, or enough cups to contain it; and that makes me get in my head and feel inadequate, when the reality is i probably just need to learn to let go and swim in the water rather than trying to stand on the outside of it with a bucket, scooping it up and running back to town to pour it back into a well i guess. if that makes any sort of sense? .·°՞(੭-ᯅ-)੭՞°·.

gonna slot the rest of my response/reflection about this under a readmore (just so i don't clog my followers TL's with this wall of text)

frankly, i haven't been great about caring for my physical health the last year-year and a half. not on purpose; i have really complex physical disabilities that have been worsened through covid. though i'm only 27, my body is about as fragile as someone in their late 60's early 70's, and it requires round-the-clock moderation and maintenance that already leaves me prone to burnout. my c-ptsd that's been in remission for a while was re-flared up late last summer/early last fall because of some... ehh. interpersonal situations? and then the degree program i completed this may really drained me of everything i felt i loved about life during that same time. that's a whole other complex thing i'd have to make an entire separate post about honestly, but it's very much so heavily intertwined with my creative output & mental state atm.

i've been trying to counteract all of it with my usual method of spiteful endurance; but i'm realizing through this new phase of tapping back in creatively/to source/general being, that that's a survival mechanism i picked up along the way and not really a sustainable mentality. it's hard to let go of tho when i often feel like the only reason i have any success is due to that resolute resilience. but; it's also what keeps me stuck in things/behaviors/thinking that doesn't ultimately serve me long term... there's something to be said for perseverance, especially re: creative endeavors. but i think honestly it's become a wall that blocks me from processing or feeling any pain in a healthy way, so it's just... kinda fucking me over now instead of helping me push through blockage. def something i'll be bringing up in my therapy session tomorrow haaaa (ᵕ—ᴗ—)

i think right now there's just unfortunately a LOT of pressure on me, internally and externally, to preform a certain way. especially irl re: work, relationships, and even my relationship with my health/self. it's bled over into my other work creatively, and now that also feels like something i need to preform to a certain standard with rather than partake in the act of for the love of the game, and that's... not aligned with my real feelings or beliefs about it at all, or who i am at my core. i see myself falling out of alignment, and that hurts and kinda makes an awful feedback loop of self-criticism, self-doubt, self-shame, and in a way even self-harm (subconsciously more than anything)

i really appreciate your ask, anon. i was hoping sleeping would make me feel better and it didn't—but this did. it's giving me some perspective. it's nice to hear that other people see the work and effort that i don't always recognize in myself. i will clarify too that the actual act of writing (and honestly drawing too rn) is still something i love. i feel good while doing it, it helps me process, it helps me feel productive and gives me a huge sense of self-worth when i sit back and am like "damn i cooked!"—the stress comes more from not being able to do it as much as i like, rather than from the act of creation itself if that makes sense. but i also recognize/agree that it's nuanced and intertwined. if the deadline/standards i'm setting re: writing is overtaking that genuine joy and love, something's wrong.

anyway. thanks for the support and kind words, anon. it really did help, and i'm going to try and be a little softer to myself with this now. i'm still going to try and get those fics posted, but if i can't do that, i'll try even harder to be kind and give myself grace about it. cause you're right—it really doesn't matter who the fuck does or doesn't read it. of course i want others to enjoy it too; but i can only give that if i'm enjoying my own process. and ultimately, that's the only reason i even started doing all this or posting it. AMSATASM was bred from a horny thought i had while doing horny things and thought was funny, then it spiraled out into a bigger thing because i was enjoying the process of piecing that puzzle together. the ideas i have for these BJW entries are all really good; and they'll be good even if they aren't submitted to the collection, as long as i have a good time doing it.

thank you for your encouragement and thoughtful ask, it really really helped bring me some much needed grounding and perspective. sending you back lots of love and appreciation and an endless amount of gratitude for your support ♡(˃͈ ˂͈ )

[sysig]

Many months of paper review (Patreon)

[brionysea]

wait do you maybe have a post about proper vision hints/foreshadowing post s3e3 or would you maybe want to talk about it more? bc I'm super curious about that!

i've mentioned it before, but this is a really good idea so i'm gonna do it here! thanks!

on top of all the ominous foreshadowing talk about "losing mike" and how obviously not okay he is in season 4, there are a lot more subtle signs. it really starts getting more noticeable with bringing the question of why to our attention in that episode, but it's being disguised through will's perspective so that it doesn't really register as being about mike because everyone's so busy being annoyed by the shippiness of it all (in regards to both el and will) and forgetting that he's like, a person, with thoughts and feelings of his own that undoubtedly affect his actions

mike has so many parallels to max it's kind of insane, but this one always gets me. will and lucas are both pointing out that mike and max are acting different, and mike and max are both trying to brush it off as normal when it's obviously not, and lucas knows something is wrong when what's wrong is that max is cursed. there's also the fact that after this, mike bikes all the way to will's house to say that he was right

but backing up a bit, remember that scene where will woke lucas and mike up by blasting music?

hm. that's a worrying thing to say (twice!) when music is what saves you from vecna. there's also probably something there with will refusing to even turn it down, since mike might not want to save himself but will isn't taking no for an answer (paralleling season 1 mike not taking no for an answer when it comes to will being alive, i suppose)

anyway, what really grabbed my attention in this scene is how it looks like mike has a headache. he's almost shielding his ears from the noise, and then pinching the bridge of his nose (which, as far as i'm aware, doubles as a method of trying to stop both a headache and a nosebleed — and those two have been connected in canon through patrick and max both getting a headache immediately before a nosebleed, one of which mike witnessed after specifically being placed in the scene when he really didn't need to be unless it was some form of foreshadowing), plus some really conspicuous dialogue here from "will the wise" in relation to mike showing very late symptoms of the curse months before it's even a thing, which seems to imply that his experience with it is going to be very different

for more signs that he's experiencing curse symptoms: nosebleeds

headaches — really bad ones that won't go away, hence why it followed him all the way to suzie's house (and mike's scary good at hiding pain/downplaying his own feelings, which is why several examples are from things literally being thrown at his head or when he's been awake for 0.5 seconds and music is IMMEDIATELY being blasted into his skull, so that he's caught off guard enough to show it)

seeing things/having visions

trouble sleeping

mike's perspective is way too guarded past season 1 for us to see his nightmares, but with how much he's been through (and especially at such a young age), there's no way he isn't getting them. my evidence for this is how perfectly he fits the show's definition of PTSD, which includes nightmares, and also confirms that mike canonically, according to the show's own rules, has past trauma (and present trauma, and future trauma, and probably trauma that exists outside of time itself... he really can't catch a break)

[yanderes-galore]

yo. so ive noticed how underrated silver is and wanted to know if you can do a concept if darling attempts to escape from him ? like would he use his telekinesis on them ? also sorry for not texting after saying i wanted to be ur friend i was just so shy ^^'

That's fine! I don't mind ^^ Sorry I didn't get to your request right off! Aged up as always!

Yandere! Silver the Hedgehog with Darling trying to escape

Short Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Yandere behavior, Delusional behavior, Obsession, Clingy behavior, Manipulation, Kidnapping, Forced relationship, One-sided relationship.

- Silver would definitely used his telekinesis to stop you from leaving.

- He feels horrible for doing it and forcing you to love him, yet he can't bring himself to let you go.

- Silver is insecure about being alone.

- He also might not have many close connections in the future.

- When he met you he latched onto you quickly, being a naive and innocent hedgehog.

- At least he seemed innocent.

- Then the futuristic hedgehog slowly manipulated you into a 'relationship' with him.

- It's very one-sided.

- Silver probably didn't even fully kidnap you, instead using manipulation to convince you into staying beside him.

- He's a cute hedgehog and acts so loving, it would be hard for many to want to leave him.

- However his affection is suffocating, he also gets jealous easily.

- You at first try the basic 'break up' method.

- You tell him to cut it out, Silver then proceeds to ignore your statement and continues to beg you for affection.

- You then resort to ignoring him.

- Which makes Silver silently follow you around like a lost puppy.

- He gives you such dejected looks, too.

- "Are you mad, (Y/N)? I just... thought I'm the best for you- Can I get you anything to make it better?"

- Alone time would be nice but it doesn't seem like he's willing to give that up.

- Silver isn't really the kidnapping type but let's say he is for this concept.

- You're smothered in affection and he tries his best to take good care of you.

- Silver thinks he's doing so well, taking care of his beloved like he should!

- Then you escape somehow... leaving the hedgehog dumbfounded.

- Why would you leave?

- Was his care not good enough?

- Silver immediately becomes scared that he didn't give you enough care.

- He also quickly goes after you, hunting you down.

- He promises he'll buy you gifts and be around you more!

- You must've felt so neglected....

- When in reality, he was doing the exact opposite to you.

- He was too affectionate.

- You were tired of seeing him.

- Once he finds you, Silver quickly uses telekinesis to trap you.

- He stops you with his powers, trapping you with a piece of metal just enough so he can talk to you.

- The look on his face is so distant.

- There's sadness, betrayal, anger... but it's mixed to the point it's difficult to read.

- Tears prick his eyes at the fact you ran from him and he then proceeds to spill out apologies.

- "I'm so sorry, (Y/N)! If I knew I was neglecting you I would've tried harder to take care of you! Give me another chance, okay? I'll make it up to you!"

- Silver doesn't really give you a chance to decline his offer.

- You'll be forcibly dragged back with the delusional hedgehog even if you cry.

- Silver's a Yandere so caught up in his fantasies he won't think your resistance is because he's suffocating or toxic.

- He just thinks you need more of his love!

- Love he's more than willing to give to you!

- "There's no need to run away, (Y/N)! I just want to love you!"

[jessicas-pi]

ok first of all. thank you SO SO MUCH for putting your thoughts out there!! The fact that you have thought about this enough to have this much of an analysis is amazing to me. And it really helps me see how my own story reads to someone else! And I just love hearing your thoughts in general!

And please know that this is not ever meant to sound like i'm being all wElL AcKTuAllY, I just get really excited to talk to you about my story and I'm gonna try to not come off too loud but if i do, uh... sorry in advance? just know that if I were saying this to your face, it would be with a big stupid grin as i bounce up and down and flap my hands cuz!!! im talking about my story!! you're listening!!! you have thoughts back!!! i have thoughts about your thoughts!!! let's tell each other our thoughts!! :D :D

Also, apologies if some things in the first bit are vague, I'm really trying to keep this spoiler free for future events 😅

So, first off! There IS a reason Sabine failed to rescue Ezra so many times. And there IS a reason Sabine got to "cheat the system" and save Ezra without a big lesson learned (though the time she truly saved him, she did pass a 'test' of sorts, but, uh, more on that in a further meta.). And there IS a reason that it doesn't make sense for the Force to test Sabine so many times without her learning anything!!

And really, the reason is pretty simple.

It's not the Force.

It's not some all-encompassing cosmic power leading her on a journey to become a better Jedi. If it was, she wouldn't have gone through all of that. Heck, she might not have gone through any of that! And that's why it doesn't make sense for the Force to test her that way.

Because it's not the Force, and it's not a test.

It's the Mythosaur.

It's an actual being with motives, and those motives are---hopefully this doesn't spoil too much, but---primarily selfish. Sabine isn't being guided to a lesson that will teach her how to let go of her attachment. Sabine is being made into a better tool.

And when Sabine finally saves Ezra, it's not because of her own merit. A lot of it does have to do with how she finally lets go of her fear of failing that's prompting her to try to blunt-force her way through the portal and just trusts the Force. But she never would have been able to do it on her own. There are massively powerful Force-aligned beings that are in the middle of a cosmic chess game here. Not exactly against each other, per se, but they have significantly different methods of doing things.

In the end, a lot of the weird Force things that happen aren't really caused by the Force itself. They're caused by...

Well.

If you know you know, and if you don't, you'll find out soon enough!

So, yeah! she doesn't save him because she learns a lesson. She saves him because someone powerful wants her to. and, I admit, she does have a bit of an attachment issue with him!

(But---okay, so I gotta be honest. I'm really, really jealous of how well you write metas. Because they always make sense and mine can be pretty confusing. So I just want to clarify! I am probably definitely guilty of exaggeration in the name of emphasis in this last meta. I probably definitely need to work on that in the future. But for this one, like... please do take the strongest statements in there with a grain of hyperbole-flavored salt!)

Ok, on to more semi-coherence!

I'm just gonna start off this bit by guaranteeing you that this fic isn't gonna go the easy fake-marriage-of-convenience path. It's a funny plot device, it's great for an unserious fic, but as goofy and self-indulgent as this fic can be, when it comes to the actual relationship development? We do things the hard way here. I maaaay be guilty of the fake-couple-on-a-mission thing in a future book though. sorrynotsorry XD

And---ok, so, yeah, the idea of her using his feelings to pull off a BFF-fake-notmarriage thing as a way to keep him close would be very Not Cool of her. But, remember---Anakin suggests the marriage idea, jokingly. Zhaya suggests they do the BFF-oath-of-fidelity vow. But Sabine?

She considers it momentarily and says that it could work, and then dismisses it and says that they'll talk about it later. Because really, with more than five seconds of thought, she takes in the implications of what it would mean to him. In the moment when she's considering it, she thinks of their friendship and of the idea of staying beside him always, and that's tempting---but then she remembers the rest, and discards any vow as something to talk about later. (Later, as in, never. Or, maybe, as in, when they feel the same, and could make a vow in honesty. Because she won't hide behind a lie for something that big. She knows it would hurt him. He's too important to her.)

And, slight topic jump, but I gotta say---this bit you said here?

Not that I think that they would ever stop being friends; but if Sabine doesn't want to a pursue a romantic relationship with Ezra and yet that's something he does want in his life, then she knows that there's a possibility she will become #2 to him at some point, even if he remains #1 to her.

you are SO RIGHT. SO right. Like, not to go too heavily into possible spoilers, but... girl, have you been snooping in my Future Scenes I Wrote Now Cuz I'm Impatient document? Because that's practically a direct quote from Sabine during a Welp, Guess I'm Processing These Feelings About My Entire History Of Relationship Development With Ezra Aloud To A Friend Now conversation.

Also, on rereading my meta, I just realized I definitely needed to clarify something!!

So, when I said that ezra's feelings are soft and silent and hers are tumultuous and fervent, I wasn't talking about, like, a permanent thing for them. That part of the meta was supposed to be about their dynamic immediately post-reunion. I guess what I mean is, like, when they reunite, Ezra's all like "Sabine, hi! Missed you! How are you doing?" versus Sabine is like "oH my fORCE you're aLIVE you're HERE i watched you die so many times i failed you so many times YOU'RE ALIVE YOU'RE ALIVE you're BREATHING I can feel your presence and it feels like home it's YOU you're REAL you're not dead i didn't fail you i didn't let you die i saved you after all there was hope there was always hope I MISSED YOU SO MUCH"

So, like. Not the most healthy mindset to be in! But not a permanent thing, either. And, like... also, kind of understandable? I mean, the last interaction she remembers having with him was cradling his bloody corpse in her arms. that. uh. that kinda messes a girl up, yknow? So she's totally exploding with Ezra-Flavored Emotions right now. Everything she feels in this moment is bigger than what she'll feel later. And that's why she acts, like you were saying---selfishly!

The way she's treating his feelings isn't Average Sabine Behavior. It's Emotional Mess Sabine Behavior. She is completely out of whack here. Not that it's okay for her to mash down his feelings in any circumstance, but it's not how she's going to act once she can take a deep breath and cool down a bit.

Because the truth is that she cares about Ezra. And if she knew he wanted to talk about it, she would do it. She hides from it because it's the easy thing to do, but he's never wanted to talk about it with her before, either. She's trying to do what, as far as she knows, they both want. As far as she knows, he wants to get over it. And... he kinda does!

He likes her. He loves her. He really does. But he also feels that as things stand between them right then, the best solution would just be for him to get past his feelings. It's not like he only likes her romantically. They are friends. There's just this extra stuff on his side, too. So wouldn't it be simpler for him to get rid of some old feelings, than to wait and see if she'll get new ones? It's logical, yeah---but it doesn't mean he can't make himself stop feeling things, just like that.

And in the current moment, I don't think he's thinking about it at all! Sabine's here. She's happy. He's happy. If she did lie about him not saying something stupid---which he's actually pretty sure she did; Force-bonds can be real snitches when it comes to lying---that just means it's not going to be a problem for them! (...right?)

Both of them, I think, are still hoping they can make this work without needing to talk about it. They both like their friendship and they both want to keep it. And they're both afraid of losing each other if they talk about it, but Sabine is just as afraid of hurting him as she is of losing him. It isn't entirely selfishness, on her part. She's trying to keep something that's important to both of them---even if she's going about it wrong.

Anywayyy I have no idea if all this word vomit makes any sense whatsoever! But that's about all I got. And thank you so so much again for sharing all your real thoughts! I genuinely appreciate them, and it's given me Thoughts And Ideas to think about, too!

The Time Heals ‘Verse meta ramble, part 2: In Which I Scream Some More About Sabine And Ezra

Whoo! So! What was SUPPOSED to be a little backstory about The Line from Time Heals All Wounds turned into a massive rant. But that’s over, and you’re all as depressed as I am, and now we get to move onto other stuff!!

(spoiler warning continues!)

So now I’m going to ramble a little bit about the specific relationship dynamic between Sabine and Ezra currently in this because AGH. I just. I gotta talk about it. fair warning, the following rant has no discernible thesis statement and wanders around aimlessly. but hey, that's just how I roll.

Okay so Time Heals primarily follows Sabine. So that’s the lens we’re looking through. And it’s easy to forget that Ezra’s timeline is entirely different from hers. But it is. A story that has taken a year-and-a-half, more or less, for her, has been mere months for him.

Because Ezra died only weeks after the Battle of Lothal, remember?

It’s six months after that, when Sabine gets pulled into the past. It’s months after that when she rescues him. By the time they’re reunited on the Coronet, Sabine has lived an entire year in a galaxy without Ezra in it, and a few months more in a galaxy not knowing he’s there.

She has seen him die thirty-three times. She’s mourned him. She still mourns him. She dreams about his dead body in her arms. He haunts her. To an embarrassing degree, her life is centered around him.

Meanwhile, Ezra’s timeline looks like this:

—he purgills Thrawn into the unknown and Thrawn imprisons him —some weeks later, Sabine kicks open the door to his cell, slaps him, hugs him, proclaims she’s watched him die 32 times, provides no further explanation, and then someone tosses a thermal detonator into the cell and it all goes black —he wakes up somewhere on Mandalore during the Clone War and promptly gets adopted by four tipsy art majors —a few months later, the Force tells him to get a move on —he reunites with Sabine that afternoon and everything's great!

So as of chapter 15 of book 2, which is where we're at now, Ezra’s spent three, four months in the past—missing everyone, yeah, but missing Sabine least, because she’s the one who saved him, and that’s given him a gut feeling that she’s still around. To him, Sabine has been a wistful thought that comes and goes. He tells his friends stories about her and misses her. But he doesn’t mourn her.

Meanwhile, Sabine’s spent over a year believing that he is lost to her forever because she couldn’t save him. (She doesn’t know she saved him, remember? She’s forgotten. It’s all a blank, and she’s afraid to hope.) She is still in the vise-like grip of grief, even if she’s functioning around it. There has never been a moment when she has not been thinking about him. (And in a way, it’s his fault, because he loved her, and he told her so. And she cannot forget it, no matter how hard she tries.)

His feelings towards her are soft and silent. He's content to wait until he sees her again, without aching too badly at her current missing presence in his life. He is at peace.

Her feelings towards him are tumultuous and fervent. She's desperate to see him again and terrified that she'll lose him. it’s like nothing she’s ever felt before. She is the farthest thing from peaceful.

So, while Ezra's feelings may seem to run deeper than hers—he is kinda in love with her, after all—he's also completely normal about her.

Sabine, on the other hand, has been torturing herself with the memory of him for over a year. He's a bundle of guilt and grief and mourning in her brain. Her feelings for him are clear-cut, platonic, and so all-consuming that they verge on an obsession.

So really, he doesn't care about her more. He cares about her differently. But not more.

But—and this is important, not so much for the story, but it's important to me that you know this—Ezra doesn’t know she's changed. He knows the old Sabine, who was his best friend, even if sometimes she was distant. He doesn’t believe she cares about him as much as he cares about her. And he's resigned to that! It’s ok! He’s ok! He’s used to it, he’s used to hiding how much he cares, and nobody else knows. So he’ll go on hiding it and she’ll go on ignoring it and it won’t matter.

But the Sabine that Ezra entrusted his blade and his homeworld to with one last, long look is a different woman than the Sabine that kicks down the door of his cell on the Chimaera a few weeks (a year) later.

And where does the difference lie?

It lies in the fact that she lost him. It lies in the fact that he died in her arms. It lies in the fact that he has consumed every waking thought of hers for months. 

It lies in the fact that she will. not. let. him. go.

She didn’t let him go when he was dead. And now that he’s alive? Now that he’s with her again?

Well.

There is no holding at arms-length. She would clutch his living form as tightly as she held his lifeless body, if she dared. She doesn’t, but she still reaches out to him—bumping shoulders, brushing hands, touching him just to know that he’s there. He is everything to her now. It’s not a love like his. It’s wider than that. It’s relief and joy and comfort in his presence and an impossible dream come true.

If Sabine had been the same Sabine he knew before, maybe things wouldn’t have changed course. If she had gone on ignoring it and he had gone on hiding it, maybe time would have faded his feelings, and maybe she never would have grown any for him.

But in a world where she holds him desperately near, near enough to feel his heartbeat and know he’s alive—in a world where their fledgling bond doesn’t lie dormant and unknown, but is woven strong and glows warmly, tethering their very souls together—in a world where he is everything to her, and she shows it—now that’s a different story. As he slowly finds out just how much he means to her—and he's grown to mean far more to her now than he did before—it throws him off-balance.

And as for her?

Well, this is where my Ramble Part 1 becomes relevant! Because he told her. And she knows. And now that she knows, she can’t look past it like it was never there, because it is there, and glaringly obvious when she looks for it. (She can't stop seeing it.)

The path they've always hoped to take—the one where it goes away and they are fast friends with nothing more between them—is no longer an option. By admitting his love, the other version of himself made it impossible for her to ignore it. By holding him so close, she makes it impossible for him to hide it. (In a way, they've doomed each other.) And she knows he can’t hide it, and he knows she can’t ignore it, so the only choice they have left—besides honest, which is a thing neither of them is ready to face—is to do their mutual best to pretend it doesn’t matter, and not talk about it.

But it does matter, and sooner or later, they'll have to talk about it.

And deep deep down, they both know that, too.

~~~

tune in next time for what I expect to be a ramble about a couple specific scenes! unless I write a different ramble first! We'll see!

[eggs-can-draw]

you: Ok but what if v3 was actually broadcasted me: they would not livestream it to the public, not with their name attached to it, at least you: They use Junko’s old twitch account “How did you even get the password for that???” “Tsumugi is very dedicated” me: but I still feel like they'd want to keep it secret & maybe reveal it if they succeeded, maybe still keep their method secret, because they don't want people to know if they fuck it up, but even more immediately, they don't want people to believe they failed to protect the Ultimates in the meantime Yin: oooo and this is how the parents learn what's happening to their kids! they didn't broadcast the other 49 but they broadcasted this one! "you used MY SON AS A BACKUP SHUICHI?!?!?! and made him PARTICIPATE IN 49 OTHER KILLING GAMES?!?!!" you: And even then if things go too terribly they could easily just blame it on the remnants me: the Remnants they have supposedly taken down during DR3? you: “Oh noooooo the remnants escaped and kidnapped some kids! In their desperate attempt to appease the late Junko they recreated her killing game with these innocent NHPA students!” me: if they blame the fanatic stragglers it makes them seem useless, if they blame the main RoDs it reveals a previous cover-up, if they claim the project as theirs there'll be huge backlash and then doubled, tripled when it doesn't even succeed. I assumed "taken down" means killed. you: They can be vague if it fits the story me: but why would they want to make it public from the start? it causes those complications for them you: Don’t worry about it guys (I don't think I'll listen to that)

firedemongaming: The irony that they tried to make Shuichi the ultimate hope and had Rantaro as a back-up, but neither of them were actually the ones to become the ultimate hope, it was canonically Kii-bo

Nanami anon: “The Remnants of Despair are not a threat anymore” [16 years later] “So um. About the Remnants of Despair…” One overworked PR employee sobbing in the background

Yin: to show off "LOOK WE MADE A NEW ULTIMATE HOPE!" "and how did you do that?" "uhhh no comment" me: that's what would happen if they only made a reveal after succeeding, otherwise people will know HOW and that's an issue Yin: shrug maybe they livestreamed accidentally instead of video lol me: just. accidentally making a several weeks long stream without realizing you:Oopsie woopsie someone accidentally hit start stream

firedemongaming: Branch 14 is PR, Branch 14 is the branch naegirigami belongs to. The pr team is definitely not helping them this time XD I was explaining what branch 14 is in canon. I'm aware Byakuya and Kyoko aren't in it anymore in the AU. Doesn't change the fact that they pissed off their PR team AND their mascot Nanami anon: The project heads poached one (1) member of branch 14 to help with this. It’s not going well Yin: ......they purposely pissed off their PR team? lol me: the person, supposed to click "record" got distracted by seeing Makoto trip, clicked stream instead Nanami anon: … midway through V3 Makoto hosts a press conference since they kicked him out of the observation room. The FF is FUCKED

firedemongaming: Is it the eggman callout post of shadow? Nanami anon: Makoto: I'M WRITING A CALLOUT ON MY TWITTER DOT COM firedemongaming: 'BUT I'M GOING HIGHER! I'M PISSING ON THE MOOOOOOON!' you: “I'VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT THE FUTURE FOUNDATION IS FULL OF BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKERS”

firedemongaming: long story short. FF is overthrown. The people try to install Makoto as emperor. Makoto has to quickly find legitimate reasons to convince them not to. Byakuya is just in the background 'do it coward' Yin: Makoto: I appoint my husband as emperor as I think he can do it better than I can Togami: oh I know I can do it better firedemongaming: 'i know I can do it better. But I'm not about to steal the glory from you. I'm more than happy to be a shadow ruler from the sidelines' Yin: Makoto: I don't want the glory! I want to be a house husband! you do it! me: Togami proceeds to dismantle FF into several smaller organizations with less power to avoid that shit happening ever again, like, sorry, but we can't have one organization that's above the law and does whatever they want because they're saviors if society is ever to properly recover firedemongaming: 'instead we'll install this one family that's above the law and does whatever they want because their family heads are saviours' me: no, no, he doesn't stay as the leader of all of them firedemongaming: I was making a joke about the emperor bit

... but I still think about the logic of immediately trying to fill up the position of absolute power when it's being taken down, why is this actually a realistic thing people would do. Eh, on to the next bomb in your askbox

Love me some sonic snap cube duo references