#I'm SO glad the game finally got its own art

[mizukagami-takamagahara]

Blazblue Entropy Effect, key visuals

[weirdmarioenemies]

Name: Insectiride

Debut: Mario Party 6

Mario and friends get up to all sorts of shenanigans! Many of these are dangerous shenanigans, and I would prefer not to get involved with them. If I were to fall in lava or be hit by a barrage of hammers thrown by a turtle, I would Die! I lament this fact, but I am no scrimblo. However, some of the antics are good safe fun, and that includes the act of racing in funny bug-shaped vehicles! I wish I could do that in real life!

Though there is a snail among these insects, for the sake of simplicity, I will call all these creatures Bugs. I usually reserve that term for arthropods, but I don't feel like saying "creepy-crawlies" a bunch of times in this post like some kind of Talking Flower. So Bugs. There are some people who'd call a snail a bug without even a disclaimer! Can you imagine that?

Players begin Insectiride by choosing their vehicle out of the four unique options! I think I played this minigame once and I THINK I used the grasshopper. I think it still might be my favorite! I'm sorry to this snail, but I don't like it much. It looks like pizza, and I like pizza a lot- I regularly observe #pizzafriday- but it's just not the sort of thing I'd like a snail's skin to remind me of.

Each of these bugs has its own control scheme! The player on the ladybug must press the indicated button ten times quickly to make it crawl forward a bit. The player on the grasshopper must press a sequence of various buttons to make it hop forward a few times. The player on the stag beetle must press each indicated button that appears one at a time, each press making it push along a bit. And finally, the player on the snail must press A when its body extends fully to make it pull the shell along behind.

When playing this with humans, there is probably no one Best Bug to reliably choose, since human reaction time must be taken into account. If playing against ambitious robots, however, there is absolutely an imbalance! In tool-assisted speedruns, Grasshopper is the winner, followed by Ladybug, Stag Beetle, and poor Snail in last...

Mario Party 6 is a Koopa Kid Game! And there is official art of him riding the funny ladybug mechanism! I'm glad he got to have fun here. We all know he isn't having fun where he is now... in the Purgatory Zone... poor kid. Oh well! That's life!

Those were the only four bug vehicles present in Insectiride, but in Mario Party 3's Ridiculous Relay, there was another! Way before all the rest! Here we have a Skeeter-inspired contraption, allowing the operator to maneuver across the surface of the water! I think this would be the main mode of transportation in Wet-Dry World, for those who are not already Skeeters. Between being a mecharthropod and having a strange control scheme that must be displayed to the player, I would not at all be surprised if this was an inspiration for Insectiride!

Now don't think you're getting out of this post without some real Bug Facts! Humans, of course, are much too large to ride on a bug. To be small enough to ride a bug, you would have to be a bug yourself. And some bugs do indeed do this! This is phoresy, the interaction in which one animal will latch onto another animal for the purpose of travel. Usually, the hitchhiker will be a tiny arachnid such as a mite (including ticks), or my favorite arachnid, a pseudoscorpion!

Phoresy is EXTREMELY funny to me. A teensy little critter will just grab onto the leg of a fly or something, and away they will go! Hang on tight! This is a type of symbiosis known as commensalism, where one organism (in this case, the one hanging on) benefits, while the other (the host) is largely unaffected. Humans riding horses is another example of phoresy! A human can be like a mite sometimes. Ok, see you later! *grabs onto a hoverfly's leg and flies away*

[emagios]

"We've told you before, right?" "Not everybody likes arcanists, Sonetto. They are dangerous. And because they are dangerous they are feared. They are not human. And those that are not human are different, and those that are different are hated. And you, Sonetto, are an arcanist. You will not find friends outside nor would they want to be. But we're not like them. That is why you are here. If not for us, you would have gotten yourself into worse situations. Maybe you would never have been in any situation except dead and forgotten. We don't want that for you, and that is why we protect you. Keeping you here in this house is for your protection. Here you can use your abilities as much as you like. As free as you like. All we ask of you is to stay, and in turn you use your abilities into good use. Like helping us." [AU in which Sonetto was never founded by the SPDM, rather gets adopted by a family instead. However, her abilities are manifested early. Seeing the potential in what exactly her magic does, her foster parents do not persecute her, instead using her ability of creation to compose works of art and sell it. ] I'm not much of a lore buff so idk how the magic system works. So I'm just assuming that when arcanists start showing signs of magic, it first starts off as "wild" magic. Random bursts of shazam and all that. As they grow up, then it starts to become something distinct. The game makes it seem that arcanists can cast "spells" or just regular magic (Like with Sonetto and Matilda having similar moves) and at the same time they have a magic that is unique to them. Matilda with her divinity, TF with her healing. Sonneto's case is maybe similar to Blonney in that it involves creating something from their imagination. Furthermore is that Sonneto's ability require intention? or at least a form of emotion and passion (which imo is so cool character-wise because the irony is so so good Sonneto, who strives to be the Foundations perfect soldier. Who strives to follow in its ideal of order before opinion. Before emotion, yet even her own magic contests that. Or maybe I got the details wrong and I'm being delusional LOL but I digress) So yeah, that's what I have in mind so far. I'm glad I finally got around to drawing it out, because the idea has been itching at me since Christmas lmao. Also! I'm also thinking of planting her to be somewhere maybe around the late 19th to early 20th century? Like the rest of the suitcase squad, Vertin will eventually encounter her as part of her being assigned in locating "unregistered/rogue" arcanists in hopes of recruiting them to the Foundation. Yes this idea was mainly made with vernetto / tk14 in mind lol But there's also some schneider mention for the verschneider angst ofc

[insertsomthinawesome]

I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK!!! Okay so honestly I have been very very inconsistent over the years with just disappearing for periods of time due to various things 😂 So it probably seemed pretty normal to most people.

But it felt different on my side, so I'm excited to be back in business. I took a month long hiatus! 31 days of not drawing digital art. Its not something I talk about on here? But I've been suffering from some serious long term Art Burnout for.... a really really long time. Long enough that I should've taken a break probably years ago. It finally got so bad that I could barely draw. I was scared to do it (cause it always looked "bad" in my eyes [i'll come back to that]) and doing it was exhausting and disheartening.

I talked it over with somebody and realized that the fear and anger and frustration I felt towards my own artwork was uh. Not Normal or Healthy. And I finally committed to taking a real break for once.

I still drew a little bit by hand? Traditional art has always felt like it has lower stakes for me (i don't often share it online, and sometimes I don't even share it with friends) so I did some of that when I felt like it. But Digital art was completely off the table.

I had put such an immense pressure on myself to make my digital art perfect, to make as much of it as quickly as possible to satisfy something. It wasn't fun anymore. I'm proud of what i've made over the years! But for a long time now the stuff I've been making was made while hating every second of making it. With some rare exceptions.

I hated my art! It was a combination of Perfectionism, taking in too many external expectations, and the burnout. If you hate doing something its kinda hard to love it even when you want too lol. It wasn't "Bad" in the sense that the quality was low and it was ugly! It was "Bad" in the sense that it was unhealthy for me to keep doing it at that point in time.

I'm glad to report though, that with my hiatus officially over as of Wednesday last week: I am once again. In Love. With doing art, and being an artist :)

I put off taking a break for years cause I was scared that taking a break would mean that I would never achieve all the things I wanted to do with art. I was scared it was a stupid and lazy thing to do that would mean I'd never achieve my dreams. And Also even though I kinda hated drawing, I also loved making art. Its a weird duality that I can't even really explain??? I hated it but I also loved it. I wanted it but I also wanted to run from it. It wasn't until I was more mature and had more clarity and insight (and unfortunately also until the problems got worse) that I was finally able to let go of those fears and just do it.

And I'm really really glad I did. It was everything I needed. And I hope to strike a better balance in the future with art. Taking more breaks when I need them, or just when other things have my attention like reading or Video games (Some star rail got played during this time xD)

From the outside things probably aren't going to be that different?? At this point I don't really have any sure plans to post anything I've been drawing since my Hiatus ended. I might or I might not xD I'm still a hobbyist artist taking things at her own pace, but I hope that it shows how much happier I am :)

Whumptober 2023 is being officially put to rest by this post btw! I was in major burnout when that event started, and I'm ready to just, move on from all the past expectations I'd shoved on my shoulders. If I feel like filling any of the prompts or going back to any of the ideas I'd come up for it I will! But I'm not going to worry about doing it unless the desire sets in. Thanks to everybody who's been so kind to me throughout my time on here as an artist! Ya'lls tags and screaming and kind words, the fanfic, the asks and the responses? Its been fantastic :) You guys have made me laugh, smile, and cry tears of joy. I hope from here that things only get better and sweeter! And if I have bad days again, that's okay too.

Here's to 2024 and whatever it may bring ya'll :D 🎉🎉✨✨🧡💜

[kholnt]

Hey, you! New person! Welcome to the LU fandom, we’re so glad to have you! 💞💞 Saw you were looking for mutuals—I just have a few questions… *flips through pieces of paper real serious like*

👀 You got a favorite LU boy yet? Or a favorite panel/arc of Jojo’s comic? Favorite fic, art piece, author?

👀 I saw your Wild sketch, it was very nice. So you draw? Do you write, too?

👀 Finally and most importantly, what is your opinion on mayonnaise?

HELLO HELLO!!!!!! i am so very happy to be here i am giggliing kicking my feet 1. i find all of them to be absolute whimsical goobers but probably wild (botw is the only physical loz game i own and it was a gift from my brother so i do have a wee bit bias. but they're also just like the Guy ever) 2. this wolfie from the most recent update has my heart and soul. so very polite heems so!!

3. art piece of jojo's has got to be either september's stormy draw, but outside of that. honestly just any sleepy lu. little snoozin guys yk?? 4. goddesses fics,,,,, keeping it to lu a home for flowers (faufaren) & silent princesses (korokcrucifierr) absolutely eat personally. as for authors, i don't pay much attention since i read based on me tag-hunting (i do say that nintendo fics absolutely eat and rarely miss. i have yet to be proven wrong) 5. tysm!! i DO draw!! and write on the very very rare occasion (as in once a year and if i finish something its a miracle). i'm currently at a roadblock w/ art and i havent seriously drawn in nearly a month but i do silly little doodles like the wild in both my pfp and the one mentioned!!

6. not a mayo guy personally but i love ranch

[hiding-under-the-willow]

👀!!

A much longer little writing blurb regarding my Watcher RT. This was my first experiment with a scene that inspired both this drawing and this comic. I never ended up finishing it because the idea for the scene itself has evolved as my idea for the project I'm planning for him evolved over time and it seemed like a waste to put a bunch of effort into writing a complicated poker scene, with an at the time undefined character, that was just a draft for something I'd be remaking later, but I am incredibly fond of this whole thing so it might as well see the light of day

When the man at the top of the stairs looks up from his card, he’s beaming, like he’s seeing an old friend for the first time, all fondness and anticipation.

“Ah, glad to see you finally made it,” He carefully folds down the card, hiding his hand from view as he leaves them face down on the table, gesturing for his guest to approach, “Come on, have a seat, have a seat.”

They hesitate at the top of the stairs. They aren’t exactly sure when they got here. They can’t remember the journey up the steps, though they’re sure they took the climb, and they can’t quite remember where they started. They take the step forward towards the table anyways, and take a seat across from the man. It wasn’t like there was anywhere else to go.

The world around them is strange. For all intents and purposes, it seemed as if the little platform at the top of the stairs was nowhere. It was made of nothing, at least no particular discernible material. It just glowed, swirling light of whites and yellows and pale blues, solid beneath their feet though it didn’t look like it should be. The stairs were the same, glowing, free floating, out in the nothingness.

It looked almost like the night sky, dotted with stars and painted with subtle twisting colors, reds and blues and purples, far off gaseous nebulae bleeding into each other, glowing with stars too far away to ever feel the heat of their fire on your skin. The problem with the theory that it was in fact just the night sky, was that it was all around them. They could see over the edge of the platform, and the scene seemed to stretch on just as infinitely below them as it did up.

There was a sound in the air as they sat across from the strange man, like a chorus of whispers, the shape of words more so than the sound of anything in particular. It made it hard to focus on what exactly he was saying.

“Y’know it’s been awhile since I’ve gotten to talk to one of you lot,” He was picking up the mess of card on the table, shuffling them all back into the stack; playing cards with unusual markings, more jokers than there should be in a normal deck, each with unique art of their own, what looked like colorful tarot cards, swept up too quick for them to get a good look. They had no fucking clue what game he was supposed to be playing. 

He continued speaking, “I’m usually put on jobs that involve a bit more face to face interaction, but I decided to do a favor for my buddy and ended up watching over this world. It’s been a much longer assignment than I thought it would be. Entertaining enough, certainly, I’ve put a lot of work into that I’ll have you know, but a bit lonely,” He kept rambling, shuffling the deck. They were paying more attention to the symbol that marked the back of each card, a symbol they recognized, though it took a moment for them to realize why, “So, anyways, I’m glad we’ve gotten to meet face to face, despite the circumstances.”

They looked up from the cards, their gaze meeting his. He was still smiling, seemingly unbothered by the disturbed look that had made its way onto their face.

“Something wrong?” He asked, cheery as ever.

“You- You're the one who cut off the admin panel.” It wasn’t an accusation or a question, just a statement of fact. Their eyes shifted back to the cards again, to the symbol that had kept them out of this strange world’s code ever since they’d arrived. It wasn’t until his gaze followed theirs that he seemed to realize where exactly the statement had come from.

“Oh, right, that!” He still didn’t seem at all shaken by their dawning horror at the realization, “That’s just standard procedure for this type of world. It’d distract the players from the story if they were still stuck handling all of the code, better to just handle it ourselves. Helps maintain their immersion, y’know?” He continued absentmindedly shuffling the cards, “It’s what we were made for originally, just to help with the code, so it’s not like it’s hard to take on or anything.”

Their thoughts were running a million miles a minute, new and old questions flooding their head as they were trying to process the information they were being given. They stumbled over their words for a minute, and he just kept giving them that patient smile.

“Why?” They eventually managed to spit out.

He shrugged nonchalantly, “The players of this world wanted a story. I was assigned the job of facilitating it.”

There was an anger that flooded them at the simplicity of the statement, thinking about what exactly they’d found when they’d wandered into this world for their own job.

“Whatever the fuck you’re doing here, it’s not fucking facilitating a story.” His smile dropped for the first time since they’d found him, his brows furrowing as they continued, “You’ve cut them off from the rest of the fucking world, made them forget they were ever anything other than the characters they’re playing.”

There was a long pause, the two of them staring at each other. They could see the gears turning in his head.

“Look, you don’t have to understand my work, or enjoy it. We have a disagreement of opinion in that department, I already knew that about you before I brought you here to talk.” There was a barely contained anger behind the words, a sudden level coldness that sent shivers down their spine, “However, I would appreciate it greatly if you kept any inflammatory opinions to yourself.”

The air almost seemed heavier than before. The cards were motionless in his hands as he stared them down. There was a buzzing around them, a frenzied sound, closing in on them. They wanted to speak, but the words caught in their throat.

Then he spoke again, and the tension seemed to clear all at once, his voice friendly again, the shuffling of the cards cutting through the buzzing whispers around them, “On that note, I understand you have a lot of questions, and I would like to give you the opportunity to ask them, so I’m proposing a little game.”

“I’m not playing anything with you.” They say, pushing their chair back to stand.

There is a force, something in the air that stops them, a pressure on their shoulders, keeping them from standing.

“Oh, don’t be like that.” He says, not looking up from the cards, “Just hear me out for a moment, friend.”

“We’re not friends.”

He ignores the comment, continuing, “I’d usually propose something a bit more consequential, but truly I’m just a bit bored out here by myself, so I’d just like to play a bit of poker, the simple version you humans are used to, nothing fancy.” He looks up at them, “You don’t even have to win.” He says, like it’s some kind of blessing, “Just play a round with me, and then you can ask a question, I’ll answer. Simple as that. It can end whenever you’d like.”

They hesitate.

“Why?” They ask.

“Why, what?” He says in return, a feigned look of innocence on his face.

“I’ve been trying to figure out this world, what the hell’s been going on here, for weeks. Why decide to start answering questions now? Why reveal yourself now?”

He hums in acknowledgement. There is a thoughtful look on his face, something strange in his eyes.

“Do you remember where you were before here?” He asks them.

“Of course-” They begin to answer, only for the words to die in their throat. They tried to conjure up an idea of what they’d done that day, when they’d woken up, who they’d seen, what they’d been planning to do, how exactly they had gone from the overworld to this… place. Everything came up blank. Hell, they couldn’t even remember what day it was, what they’d done the day before. It was like the world had just dissolved at some point and spit them out here without them noticing.

They stare down at the table, mouth opening and closing while they searched for the right words, eyes wide.

“Right,” He says in acknowledgement, sighing, “Well, eventually you’ll figure that out, and at that point I suppose you will understand why now.”

“Why can’t I…” They hold the edge of the table, try to keep their hands from shaking, “What did you do?”

“Oh, me?” He chuckles, “Nothing at all in that department, actually. That’s just your own small, strange, human brain reacting to its current circumstances. Not used to the void, not used to…” He trails off, staring into the nothingness around them. He clears his throat, perks back up, “Well, it’ll sort itself out eventually.”

“My point, though,” He continues, “Is that after our game, once you’ve decided you have all the information you need, I have a different proposition for you, one to help us end this whole predicament we’re in, so we can stop running circles around each other and just go back to our jobs.”

“And why can’t you just give me that proposition now, skip the theatrics?” They ask, eyes narrowed, “Why agree to answer any of my questions at all?”

“Well,” He chuckles, “I figured you’d want to be well informed before you made a decision, but if you’d rather not play, I suppose I could just give you my offer now.” He finally places down the deck, folds his hands on the table in front of him, “Though I have to say I’d be a bit disappointed to lose out on the opportunity for a good game.”

For a moment it is silent, other than that continued incessant chorus of whispers in the air. He simply looks at them expectantly, awaits their answer, that calm, friendly smile unwavering on his face. It feels like he is looking right through them.

Their eyes do not leave him.

“So?” He eventually asks, head tilting to the side like an owl studying its prey, eyes unblinking.

They are still clinging to the table, like it may somehow ground them.

“Fine.” They agree, tone venomous, “I’ll play your game.”

“Oh, wonderful!” He perks up immediately, clapping with excitement, and for once, that smile on his face looks entirely genuine.

“But,” They cut in again, and he pauses his celebration to stare at them, “I have one condition; I’m not doing your stupid one question per round thing, as long as we play I can ask as many questions as I want, and you have to answer them.”

He nods, shrugging, “Fair enough, I can allow that.”

They stare at him for a moment, eyebrows furrowed.

“Really? That easy?”

They blink and suddenly the table is set for the game, chips and cards dispersed as necessary.

He beams, pulling his hand from the table in front of him, “That easy.” He confirms, “I’m not unreasonable.” He turns his attention to his cards, looking over them.

[skyflyinginaction]

Shin Megami Tensei IV FINAL Official Setting + Shinwa Sekai he no Tabi translations 

I don’t own the raw scans or the translations in this post all credit for the translation belongs to Miel who did a wonderful job on it. The Nanashi bio was already translated by Dijeh and the rest are translated by them.

Asahi

In the early scenarios, she was supposed to be a tomboyish character who often used foul language. As you can see, she ended up the complete opposite (lol). Asahi was designed as a child whose parents had lovingly raised, and had her life planned out for her to survive in this destroyed world. They were hoping that she would one day be able to see the light of dawn, hence she was named Asahi. We based her design off themes of the sky, hence the goggles, hat and the blue color scheme to make a pure, orthodox heroine.

Navarre

A harmonious, all-green presence… Actually I just came up with that after (lol). But I think the meaning of Navarre's scarf color was shown pretty well in the game. His ghost form and the fact that he would be a partner was decided from the very beginning. I wanted him to be able to run around the map following the MC, so I suggested a mascot-like design that could float alongside the MC. I'm glad he was able to re-appear as a likeable character (lol).

Nozomi

In the previous game, she was an event character with only pixel art, but in this game, we decided from the very beginning that she would be a partner along with Navarre. We tried to keep the same imagery she had from the previous game but designed elements unique to this game. After she became one with Danu, I wanted a change in both mind and body. Her hair and eye color, as well as her physique are all mixed with Western features, and when compared to the main characters who are all children, she looks like a mature adult lady.

Hallelujah

We had planned to create a mixed-race child who would show what kind of world setting it was in this game. His brown-colored skin was the only thing that still remained of his initial draft; every thing else about him was totally changed from the initial planned scenario. We gave him a Ashura-kai styled outfit, as well as a school jersey to make him look like a child delinquent. The pointy ears and black nails were to give him a demonic feel. When he transforms, he changes color, and I think it perfectly represents the devs’ ideal image of him.

Chironnupu

When Chironnupu was created as a demon, I was requested to make him a mascot-like character. They did not want a standard cutesy character, but rather something that had a “Megami Tensei" type of cuteness. There are very few legends about the Chironnupu, so I got ideas from keywords such as Ainu, fox, divine spirits, and hunting, and instead of simply drawing a fox, I made him a young spirit that wears a carved wooden mask.

Gaston

When I first heard that Navarre’s younger brother was going to be in the game, I laughed… and I was very surprised. Of course they must have the same hairstyle and facial expressions to live up to the family name (lol). Since he is an elite member of the newly established Samurai group, I put his Samurai uniform over his inner wear, so that he looked like a medieval musketeer but set in modern day. The cross symbol represents God and the four archangels. Michael's spear was originally meant to defeat Lucifer, so I based its design off Lucifer’s motif.

Toki

Out of all the characters, this character had the most changes and was the most difficult to design. In the early designs, she was made to look like a miko (TN: shrine maiden) who served Lilith, so I wanted her design to emphasize her young age when compared to Asahi and Nozomi. That design later evolved into a tall, ephemeral type of girl, and then later, finally settled into the design of an assassin. She’s designed as a member of the Ring of Gaea, and her unmasked face has the cuteness of a Japanese doll but also a beauty that exudes an exoticism. 

Nikkari

This is a character that appears right at the beginning of the game, but we did not originally plan to have an illustration for him. However, there was a request for a illustration to show the worldview of this hunter from Tokyo, and how the world and the people he cared for were being overrun by demons. Thus we created illustrations for the 3 of them: Nikkari, Manabu, and Master. The name Nikkari is based off a famous sword, but you’ll just have to find out whether or not his sword is the real deal by playing the game.

Manabu

As a more senior hunter, he has become a unique character. Like Nikkari, we had initially only planned to have pixel art for him, so we made sure to exaggerate that reggae-like feel to convey his love for reggae, even if it's a tiny pixel art. Compared to veteran hunters, he didn't have much experience yet, so we designed him to still look a little naive. Having designs for the sub-characters was not initially planned, so I only had a short amount of time to design them, but I was able to take a breather and had fun while drawing them.

Master

When I was making drafts of his design, I borrowed the design of the adult form of the protagonist (lol). Since the character is a former hunter of an inhabitable society and a master of the company, I gave him unshaven stubble and thick arm hair to give him that rugged feel, but also gave him the outfit of a bar waiter to give him a sense of tidiness. Anyway, it feels like a strange coincidence that the pilot-style outfit worn by the original adult protagonist ended up being worn by Asahi instead. I wanted to see how well he would do.

Swordsman Hunter

During the idea stage, there were many variations for a non-human hunter. This is a lightly armored female hunter whose main weapon is a sword. Her personality also seems outgoing.

Professor Matsuda

This was the initial idea draft for Matsuda. Back then he was planned to be a NPC that you can speak to but didn’t have a character portrait. His facial expressions can’t be seen clearly from the small portrait, but you can see his hunched-back posture.

Elite Hunter

An elite hunter who has a high rank and is well-dressed. It's the type you don't see very often in the underground world of Tokyo, but it seems there’s actually some hunters who are living a privileged life out there.

Punk Hunter

A female hunter that catches the eye with her standing hair and studded clothes. Strong female hunters who live by fighting with demons are all cool-looking. The same goes for Nozomi. It’s no wonder Asahi admires them.

Child Hunter

The boy with the spear is an NPC you can talk to. During the designing stage he was made to be a little child hunter but the final version of the NPC seems to be older in appearance.

Gaea Elder

An old man who was created as a member of the Gaea. Compared to the fierce male members and cold-looking female members, he’s more of a good-natured old man character.

Asurakai Member

Most of the Ashurakai members were thugs in suits, so we had the idea for a man who actually looked dangerous because he had a drawn knife in his hand. Might’ve been a change after Tayama’s death.

[goldenteaset]

What would you say was your favorite event of the year?

Thanks anon! I'm glad to say it's a tough one this year. :D

In a category of its own: Heart of the Sun, because its themes kept popping up in every single event this year, it was great: Grief, the high cost of attaining power, loneliness, what "love" is and how it can be used against you... I really like the cool ways they changed up the presentation of things, too, like POV shots or depth of field.

After that, though...man, this was a great year for story events. I'm actually struggling to choose! The Last Sumo Warrior made me appreciate sumo for the storied martial art it is, The Dark Singularity was both fun and heartfelt (aka a summer event besides The Maydays and Sincerely, Your Dearest Friend that I actually liked), Our Style and Our Substance gave me all the fashion worldbuilding my id could want and Lamouralla aka The Princess of Fashion and Carbonara, Monscian was just straight up exciting and tense, BTTP made me literally laugh out loud...

But the two that are neck-and-neck for me are Lone Wolf's Passing, What Reeks and Burns and The Lion Stirs. Under the cut because I went feral again! XD;

WRaB is an absolute winner of "a mystery/being in the head of a character who's going insane" combo that immediately hooked me once I realized what was happening. The only downside is that I can't say much about it without giving the game away. ^^; If the other two I mentioned didn't exist, this one would win hands down. It's also not tied to any previous event stories, per se, so it's a good intro to what GBF can offer, I think.

Lone Wolf's Passing is similar in that regard. Sevastien was already interesting as a character (he runs a spy ring that also operates as a soup kitchen, how could I not like him), but with his backstory revealed he got even better. The romance between him and his wife was so good I genuinely forgot about her having already passed away and was horrified by how that happened. Speaking of, I may not have enjoyed the antagonist, per se (especially after WRaB's), but he got the job done and was very enjoyable to smack around. XD; Also, Bridgette and Cordelia got to be relevant again!

And then there's The Lion Stirs, which made me go absolutely feral and still does, oh my god. Oh my god. I don't like to call myself a "Dragon Knights fan" even though I do like them a lot, because really I'm a fan of Vane, Arthur, Mordred and Merlin, and the storyline surrounding them. So of course the one that's basically The Hibergrief Kingdom Variety Hour is the one I love the most. I started losing my mind when horse SFX of all things started up and pretty much didn't stop the whole way through. XD; Vane got to be serious! Sir Kay is finally here, and a really great take on him to boot!

And Merlin! Merlin oh you miserable catboy you were everything I wanted and so much more. I'm beyond excited for more of him and Mordred together, they're going to be either a force to be reckoned with or the most miserable people in Wales, and either way it'll be SO MUCH fun.

...Actually, maybe Our Style and Our Substance should be higher? I keep going back and forth on that. Hmm. Anyway, those are my favorites for this year! :D

[stinger-shot]

Yey! Silly vent because I feel like shit!

Read under the cut if you want the juicy ass details

So basically, I gotta let this shit out.. its fucking me up a bit rn.

I met this dude around the start of 2021 on tiktok AND HE WAS SO TALENTED AND FUNNY but he always said he wasn't. Anyway time skip a lil..

We started getting into a few arguments near the middle of 2022. And they where just small disagreements then they gradually got worse and worse every time it happend. And it especially got bad when I made another friend on tiktok who loved doing art related things and drew my old persona back then.

And HE WAS NOT HAVING IT and he said quite alot of bad things to me. Did I stay friends with him? Yes I did. Did I also block the nice guy just trying to be my friend? Yes. I blocked them out of fear of loosing my best friend.

And near the end of 2022 we started dating because things had gotten a better.

Oh how I was so wrong. Everything just went downhill when he left high-school. He always needed attention. He got mad at me because I couldn't set an alarm BECAUSE he was up at 10am and I was up near 1pm. So I forced myself to do so mutch bullshit for him. Like draw him art as an apology and it drained me do badly I could hardly do my own personal art.

I didn't even have personal art at this point. Every time I fixated on something it was what he was fixating on because he'd get mad at me and argue with me if I wasn't.

But everything was calm when it was around April in 2023 and we where finally getting along like an actul couple because of a game called final fantasy. We where obsessed with it for months! And then around June or July I re discovered transformers.

I have never felt as happy in a fandom since 2019! Like holy shit the fandom is so sweet.

But I kept it a secret from him he still doesn't know. Then at some point I made this tumblr to get my stupid little urges out and now look at where I'm at. I haven't been this happy in a LONG while.

And just st the start of 2024 my ex got into an argument with one of his friends and I offered to talk to them. so he agreed and I spoke to them.

Im so fucking glad I did.

Because without their help I'd still be fucking miserable. They gave me the confidence to dump that bitches ass and I honestly feel like a weight has been taken off. Because it honestly felt like a chore every day of my life just talking to him.

And my other friend on discord had helped me out to. Including you silly fuckers on discord/tumblr. If your even reading this... if you are why are you still reading this?

But anyway. I just needed this off my chest. Because it does hurt a little spite how good i feel but I just have an off feeling. I haven't put down everything that happend while I was with my ex and some things might be in the wrong order or time but at least I'm forgetting it?

Just. I love the transformers fandom so mutch mutch really helped me pull through...

Fuck I'm ranting. Uh. Bye!

Also a big thank you to Avery and rex for helping me feel better (rex I've only known you for a little bit but jesus christ I fucking laugh my ass off because of you) jesus I'm sappy as fuck. (and avery your so fucking cool. You helped me alot.) And belyyvolks (I've had alot of fun messing around about ironhide XD) I'm not tagging because I don't want alot of attention on this post.

[nonsubstantial]

APRIL 2024 ART FASCINATION DIARY

This is another post about the art that I've been fascinated with this year. I make these posts monthly, so that I can look back and remember all the things that were keeping me happy and inspired! If you are reading this, then I hope it will be somewhat interesting to hear about. First, a collage of my interests this month, then there are descriptions below.

MUSIC / ALBUM I heard about Everything Harmony by The Lemon Twigs because Vinny Vinesauce liked it enough to feature it on his twitch channel four times within this last month. After checking it out, it quickly became a favorite of mine as well. It's inspired by 60's era rock bands like The Beach Boys and The Beatles, and the two brothers in charge of The Lemon Twigs were basically raised from birth to create this kind of music. They're excellent musicians, but I do have a few complaints, mainly that their band is a four person group that started as a two person group, and it shows. The musicians on their drums and backing guitar are unnoticeable most of the time, or even make their music worse when I really focus on the boring repetitive parts that they play in the mix. I think that it would improve things if we heard the other two members’ creativity shine a little more. On a different note, their lyrics also feel kind of hollow to me, sort of like facsimiles of themes that we heard out of the 60’s pop music that they’re inspired by. Maybe the brothers’ odd upbringing is what makes their lyrics feel like nothing more than dreamy imitations of other lyrics, rather than being something written from their own hearts? In any case, their vibe is really bizarre, but despite all my criticisms I did really enjoy this one album from them. (And actually, their new 2024 album is already out! It’s also fantastic, and I’ll talk about it on my May list.)

FANFIC / CREATIVE WRITING I've been working on a long fanfic for fun since last month, and every time I write a new scene for it I'm filled with a sense of creative euphoria for the rest of the day. It's not always perfect, but there's no real pressure to write something good, so it just ends up being an enjoyable outlet for my passions. Even if I never publish anything, being creative and exploring my own imagination is satisfying in itself, and I wish I had the time to do it every day! (HONESTLY, there could and should be time, if only our society actually prioritized taking breaks for mental health and personal wellbeing over making endless amounts of money and increasingly insubstantial products to be consumed by only the luckiest members of our parasitic upper class. I hate our unsympathetic workaholic capitalist culture with every fiber of my being, and wish that I could fucking end it all, but I digress...) Writing is just so fun. And I'll be working on the same projects for another few months, probably, as long as I can keep on keeping up with them.

REALITY GAME SHOW The finale of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 16 concluded this month, and I thought it was absolutely fantastic. Now that it’s over, we’re starting back from season 1 and we’re going to try to eventually watch it all! (We actually did finish season 1, right before posting this. It was interesting and groundbreaking in its own right, and it introduced me to Tammie Brown, who is now one of my favorite queens. Then, we started season 2 and I’m pretty sure that this is where the show’s bad reputation got its start, because I really can’t stand any of the season 2 contestants. Too bad, but we’ll keep on watching and see how it pans out anyway.) In season 16 though, there was just so much unique creativity and talent on display, and so many jaw dropping ‘holy shit’ moments, that I think it was one of the best things I have ever watched. It had the hypest final lip sync battle I ever could have imagined, and I had no idea which way it was going to end. In whole, I feel like the show was a wonderful watch, and I’m glad that our friends convinced us to give it a shot.

LIVE THEATER MUSICAL My partner and I were given a gift card to our local theater last year, so we finally used it to go see a live production of Annie! We don't live in a place where live musicals are very common, and I actually hadn’t seen any since highschool, so we had to make plans very early in the year to go watch it. And after having done so, I can say for certain that there is a unique magic to watching a live theater performance. I’m surprised that it was all performed so perfectly, even with children and a dog on stage, and remarkably, it sounded better than any recording I could find online before or after the event. It was so incredible all around that it totally transported me into a unique creative headspace. There were people of all ages there, some dressed up, some appearing more casual, but the atmosphere was delightful and jovial all around. I’m not going to comment about what was or wasn’t problematic about Annie; it’s not really that deep and you can probably figure that out on your own. But I will say that the magic of a live performance depends entirely on the energy in its room, and I was totally swept away by this experience. Without the discount, it would have been very pricey though, so I’m hoping that we can put away a little money to see a different live musical next year.

BOOK / AUDIOBOOK About a month and a half ago, I started Leo Tolstoy's epic work of historical fiction, War And Peace. I love a book that I can get completely lost in, and War and Peace is one of those books. I made it about 1/4th of the way through it this month, and even though it started slow, I’m now sure that it’s going to be an all time favorite. I read Anna Karenina years ago, and thoroughly enjoyed it, so I expected to like this one too, but there was still a sort of learning curve to overcome at the start. After over a month of engaging with it, I feel like I’ve finally gotten over its barrier to entry, and now I’m picking up the pace. Most people have heard of this book before, so let me tell you that its high-sounding title is no false advertisement. It’s a Russian slice of life book set during the Napoleonic Wars, dealing with a huge assemblage of political and philosophical conflicts, and it will have you exasperatedly crying “time is a flat circle!” as you realize that humans today have nearly the same brains and political interests that they had over 200 years ago. It is already a masterpiece, in my opinion, and I’m going to be reading this book for the entire month of May also, so that’s something to look forward to. If you’re interested in checking out an audiobook, I’m also listening to the Maude translation, narrated by Neville Jason, and I think it’s quite good! (That's it for April! But we're already a few weeks into May, so expect more Lemon Twigs and more War And Peace. Thank you for caring about me, and I hope you have a good day! ♡)

[cross-my-heartt]

Some thoughts on the first book in the Thrawn trilogy.

They're a bit messy because I'm going off of memory as I didn't take notes at the time but oh well.

[MAJOR SPOILERS FROM HERE ON, BEWARE!]

I'm gonna start by saying that I didn't expect the adventures of space Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson but I'm definitely not complaining. It's a tried and true formula and Nightswan as their Moriarty worked well while it lasted.

Also you know a book and its characters are good when it gets you to cheer for the 'bad guys'. And I'm only putting that in quotes because you get a genuine sense that despite the corruption and bias galore, a large part of the personnel are just regular people working a job and trying to go about their lives.

Arihnda's arc was really well done - you sympathize with her while she's an underdog, getting betrayed, manipulated and used by others. She's wily and ambitious and resilient and you're like yas, queen slay. But the more she plays the game the more you see her crossing lines until the final arc where you realize just how ruthless she's become, or maybe always was, and you get that sense of 'oh shit'. (Keep in mind I haven't watched rebels so I didn't know where she would end up.)

It's the same sense you get when you reach the Wookie slaves arc and it sinks in that the quirky duo you've been following are in fact working for the most evil person in the galaxy.

As for Thrawn himself, I didn't expect to enjoy him this much. His final conversation with Nightswan in particular - I always felt like there was something off about his motivations and his apparent ignorance in politics. That scene confirmed that he's even cleverer and craftier than he lets on and put that dissonance to rest.

He's persuasive to the point where you almost wish things would go his way too. I love how it's a running theme throughout the book for people to be frustrated by how much sense he makes and you even sympathize with that as a reader sometimes.

I'm really happy with the parallels the author makes throughout, something I'm seeing in Alliances as well. There's Thrawn and his art and Eli and his numbers, Thrawn's 'bigger picture' logic and Nightswan's principles. Characters really shine when they have a good foil in the story.

And finally Eli. Another character I didn't expect to like so much. Such a genuine plucky guy. It was fun to see him go from being ambiguous about Thrawn to constantly being shocked at how much he trusts him. And being so protective of him, bless.

I'm glad he got his own arc, going from someone who's charted out his whole future and desperately wants to stick to what's familiar to being willing to leave all of that behind and jump into the unknown by joining the Chiss (which was foreshadowed in Thrawn's conversation with Nightswan but still made me a bit sad).

Of course, I do have some complaints, the biggest one being the dialogue and how clunky and awkward it feels at times. Which is especially obvious when you have these supposed cunning politicians throwing the simplest most blunt threats at each other with no subtlety whatsoever.

The book's exposition also suffered because of it. I daresay that has improved in book two but that may just be because there's less politician talk and it's a mostly military setting.

Finally a lot of Thrawn's conclusions feel like a huge reach but I'm willing to let that one slide. Say we assume he knows more than he lets on to the readers.

But all things considered, those are minor complaints and I really enjoyed the book. Can definitely say I'm tempted to see all four seasons of Rebels just to get more of Thrawn.

[rawliverandgoronspice]

Okay, I just wanna say that Ganondorf in ToTK, despite not having Wind Waker’s pathos, is easily the best Ganondorf we’ve had (which is surprising considering some parts of the story). He’s terrifying whenever he shows his mug, he’s active and damn near omnipresent though Puppet Zelda and the Phantom Ganons/gloom spawns, and he’s easily the most unhinged take on the character we’ve ever seen. As for his motives, it’s as simple as turning hyrule into a chaotic hellish landscape where the only rule is that the strong thrive and the weak die, which isn’t really unique, but the landscape and monsters in the game kinda cements how bad that would be.

I get we were kinda expecting another Wind Waker situation, but what we got is great too because Ganondorf was great in Ocarina of Time and he too wasnt anything beyond pure near omnipresent evil.

I mean... I think it's as good as any a time to bring up a really important distinction to the way I critique stuff in general, which is that there's a part of interacting with art that is kind of is... true at a fundamental level? That fundamental level being the emotional response. Nobody can ever be more right or wrong for their emotional response, it's kind of non-debatable.

So I'm really glad TotK Ganondorf did it for you! I genuinely am. I actually loved some things about his incarnation; the musical motifs and the way they are integrated within the story (!!! so good), the concept of Fake Zelda, the actual final fight which I 100% agree is the best one we ever had (still love the TP one, but, the horseback part is a little eeeh and the swordfight could have been harder), his various designs, Gloom Hand and Phantom Ganon which are probably among my favorite parts of the game...

But yeah, I suppose I'm the kind of annoying player who needs a solid thematic framework to relax and accept the scenario proposed (the kind that is driven by mimicry and meaning, which is, I have to admit, especially hard and ungrateful to design for --and so is, often, completely ignored *sobs*). So I would have been completely fine with a Ganondorf without pathos, but one that did fit better within its own environment and countered the themes of the game and developed an ideological philosophy that you could solidly oppose, and not just treating him as an excuse to usher the gameplay forward (I mean, he did betray the gerudos which stranded him while you get to receive everyone's help, but he is not alone in practice! Every monster stands by his side! He may even have a more devoted and stronger support system than you depending on how you play the game). But that goes beyond Ganondorf: I had much trouble seeing past the self-referential and actually enjoy what Tears of the Kingdom had to offer in terms of emotional texture.

But yeah. Could not get behind the writing and a lot of choices in terms of... I don't know, the timing of his maniacal laughter, for example? I feel like a good maniacal laughter needs to be earned, and there's so many times where it just felt completely cheap to me? Even OoT Ganondorf, who had his share of cheap laughter moments, kind of had them work by the simple fact that they were here to directly mock us, the player, and our actions (if I remember well he only has two in the entire game: one after getting his way within the Sacred Realm, and one right before the final battle). We're not going over the extraordinary WW laughter, which is everything to me, but I also really enjoyed the kind-of-unhinged-but-sober take on TP Ganondorf, where he laughs only once and because he knows that he is close to losing probably. I think that was a great characterization, and I'm kind of sad they got rid of it to replace it with [insert maniacal laughter here] sort of approach that isn't specific to the character built over the years (except for the moment where he turns into a dragon, which was the one I liked the most --but it was greatly overused in my opinion).

So I really think his absence of specificy and the fact that his plans are pretty much nonsensical when you examine them for more than a minute, and the fact that he was all over the place and actually sparring with you and building direct grief with you in previous titles, where here I really wasn't sold on why I was supposed to invest myself in the situation besides a vague sense of duty and "that's what the game expects of me" really... didn't sell me the intimidation or the presence. There are a couple of iconic moments that I genuinely loved to see (the whole fist in the throat was GREAT, and perhaaaaps the "come at me" tho even THAT is self-referential grumble grumble sorry to be like this I'm genuinely sorry, the thought wouldn't even have crossed my mind if everything else about him wasn't a strange patchwork, but, it does pile up), but, I needed the framework to stand on its own to genuinely love him in this game.

But I'm really glad if he scratched the itch for you! Most people seem to agree too, which is great. I just... I mean, I am obviously invested in this not becoming the standard of quality. I think we could keep a lot of what worked here and add a scoop of better writing and thematic consistency, and I'd be on board way more already.

[kmwilllose]

I love Splatoon

I joined in late to Splatoon 2 after the finale fest but it became one of the biggest parts of my life.

It was the first game I wanted to play. I wasn't a game my brother played like Pokémon or Smash bros. Although I love those games, I never had a real connection with them. Splatoon was the first game I found on my own that no one else I knew played it.

The Finale fest had already passed for that game, but it was still getting love and attention from its main fanbase.

I played this game like it was all I cared about (it was during the lock down so that's actually pretty true.) Everything was fresh and new, I didn't know who character were or how anything worked but I loved it. I experimented with weapons, modes, 1000% the story mode, found out about Octo Expansion and 1000% that too.

I got into Splatoon's media. Found Youtubers that lead me to amazing communities, Artists that lead me to have Tumblr as my main social, and new friends. It was so easy to connect with people who had the same passion about the game as me.

And this went on for a solid amount of years.

Then the Nintendo Direct on 17 February 2021 came out.

I didn't watch it live because again, Splatoon was all I cared about. My brother was out with my mom at the time and he did watch it. He immediately called me and told me to watch the direct. By then I had got my brother to love the game almost as much as I did.

I. Freaked. Out.

I screamed to my brother over the phone and then to friends over text. I went to any youtuber I knew to watch reactions. I went to Tumblr to see art flowing in by the second with every new direct. People where non-stop talking about the new hairstyles, new weapons, new stages, little buddy, salmon run, anything new that met my eyes, I could find a post on it.

It was all I could talk about to the point where my friends couldn't take it anymore. I was HYPED.

The Splatfest demo comes out, and I play almost all 12 hours! I find friends on my team that I remember and by the end of it, I make a whole post on Tumblr about it, the people, the hub, and the world that Splatoon 3 was.

Splatoon 3 come out and I am playing it every hour of the day. Learning new weapons, figuring out new stages, obsessing over the music and DEEP CUT!! First catalog I make it to level 99 with how much I played. I try and keep up with every splatfest and every announcement but at some point it just, falls out on me.

I stop using it as pass time, online games aren't as fun, I begin to forget how much I love Splatoon.

++++SIDE ORDER++++

My attention was shot by this mode. A Splatoon rouge like with new story and characters that I've never seen with a 3d model? YES FINALLY I CAN LOVE SPLATOON AGAIN. I didn't have to worry about competitive players, or ranked. I could Spend as much time on this mode as I wanted.

I made it to floor 26 on what I believe was my fifth run.

I stayed up till 4:00 round after round, floor after floor. It was so addicting to just play Splatoon again.

I got through the main story very quickly and started reaching floor 30 with all the weapons, and then the same chips. I was on this kick for a while and tried to get back into the online side of the game but I just felt like it all moved on without me, so eventually I stopped again.

As weird as my relation ship with Splatoon is now, I still love this game and am so excited for the Grand Festival. Hopefully this isn't the end of Splatoon's story, but for me it'll never be over.

I got back to Splatoon 2 and see everything I once was so confused by, and now I finally understand it all. It's different, but it shows how much I've grown.

This is some what of a love letter to Splatoon from me. How I've grown up with it and how it's affected my life.

This my jeopardize the future of Splatoon based on the names of the teams but Pearl and Marina are my girls.

And I'm so glad we have Splatoon in the present.

[torchdreemurr]

Just beat Mother: Cognitive Dissonance for the first time (I got the Good and Severance endings), and uh... Here are my thoughts! (BIG COGDIS SPOILERS BELOW)

Holy fuck Niiue is so hot. I just want to stare at his flowing hair, his big blue eyes, his little snout, his big pink tail, all of it. AND THAT'S NOT EVEN GETTING INTO FUTURE NIIUE??? I CAN'T STOP LOOKING AT THAT ONE PIECE OF CONCEPT ART HIS HAIR IS SO LONG AND FLOWING!! I wonder what Geeg skin feels like, it's so bright, i bet it's smooth and wonderful. Look at him just swim through the air so gracefully. AND HIS VOICE!! I can't stop listening to Speak!! Every single time I hear his voice, so soft yet so gravelly and so tender, the roughness and intimacy of the song, I feel choked up every single time i hear him. I'm so glad he lived, I'm so happy he gets to be acklowledged as his own person, I think he'll be such a good dad for Giegue...

Oh yeah and the game had other stuff in it too

Cogdis' biggest flaw is probably how little the main four are characterised. Obviously Niiue is an exception to this (or maybe that's just my gay autism), but Alvinar, Col. Saturn, Larice, and Zarbol all felt like they had no characterisation whatsoever. After spending so many hours finding every single secret, I could barely tell you what they're like. When you reach the magican bosses and fight the manifestations of everybody's flaws, that's a bit of characterisation I guess, but Larice's nightmare is the only one who has their flaw be explored outside of the text that introduces the boss. So many quirky side characters and allies, and yet there isn't even a note for the core four to be one-note to.

Outside of this, though, the game was incredible. I hear that people don't really like that they didnt include the iconic rolling health but I just had fun playing it as a standard RPG. Difficulty felt good, and each character's playstyle felt distinct even if it doesn't reach the heights of individuality that other RPGs do (UNDERTALE 2 EVERY GAME MUST BE COMPARED TO UT2 THE GREATEST RPG EVER MADE).

The music is a tossup for me. On the one hand, we have some slop that barely counts as more than noise, the musical equivalent of the unpleasant colour gradient. This is usually the area themes. On the other hand... Bill Eager is a fucking genius and he fucking nails literally every single track he touches. He is an auditory god and having him grant audio to the game's greatest moments is a perfect decision. The Apple of Enlightenment would not FEEL like something actually divine if it didn't have Hymn of Dawning Light play as you collected it. Tomorrow's Fight is one of the most hypnotically groovy battle beats I've ever listened to, and somehow it's one of the LESS notable tracks Bill made?? And, of course... Speak and Ghosts In Flight. Yeah. I cannot stop fucking listening to these. Big & Hairy is literally me because I would attend literally every single Nowhere Train concert no matter what. This game's soundtrack fucks. Dare I say it? It cums.

I know this isn't a big thing, but I would like to take a moment to gush about Master Magnolia because holy shit the buildup to his fight is so perfect. You go through the whole infected mothership and you keep hearing the voices, and you assume that this is from the sole survivor of the affiar. But as you keep going it gets stranger and stranger until you finally meet MM himself and everything is simultaneously explaned perfectly and flipped on its head. God it's so good.

And, of course, this game has the most powerful anime character of all time, Fungustrosity. How could it not be peak fiction? In short, well... Cogdis is a good game and you should play it because it's fun. That's all there really is to say on the matter. I might make a full big youtube video on this one day, but until then, remember...

Love is the only thing standing between us and the great beyond.

[tobyfoxmademeascaly]

Dawntrail Part 10

Rescuing our cat, and making a trip to Urqopacha

not the landsguard. Worse <3.

hello manlet how's the heat exhaustion been

... officially warming up to this cat

He was LEFT in a WET CARDBOARD BOX. ALL ALONE.

OHHHH MR CAT. IM SORRY I SAID YOU'D USE BITCOIN. YOU DONT DESERVE THAT. EVEN IF YOU'RE STILL A SHARLAYABOO

... now that I think of it, whenever I've gotten stories of the cats' childhoods, zoraal ja is notably absent.

FRUIT GUMMY

GO CAT GO

YAY WE RESCUED OUR CAT!

love how he sounds like he just got the wind knocked out of him. because he just has a mountain lion of a woman land directly on his stomach

im so sorry. alphinaud's head just barely peeking over the bottom of the screen is sending me. He's so fucking SMALL.

also. SOMETHING beyond even what gulool ja ja has told me after the spar must be going on. Because I feel like even with the Secret Training Regimen going on, bakool ja ja should have been long since disqualified if this was JUST a contest for the throne.

HELL YES FINALLY. FREE TO FLY ABOUT

once again. GEE. I WONDER WHO THAT REMINDS ME OF.

Thank you for the self-care advice Erenville

... once again I must trouble myself with the question of how teleport spells function for Joe Average. WE are Aether Reserves Georg and thus are only limited by money, but between sharlayan's control of the aetheryte network and other people NOT being Aether Reserves Georg, how often does the average person on etheirys use the aetherytes?

accusations of Ancients Fuckery RESOUNDLY defeated. These guys are so... ODD looking. I can't really pin them down as any particular folkloric creature or anthropomorphic animal. They have long arms and short legs, each limb ending in three digits, like the mamool ja, and big bulbous eyes like a goldfish, and fleshy… ears(?) and no nose. They’re BIZARRE looking, and so much weirder than I expected from them being described as “giants”

... so, considering that its just sealed, rather than dead, AND there are Certain Spoilers in the crafting logs... I'm gonna have to kill that thing aren't I.

this raises a question for me. the vidraal have been compared to the auspices in othard, but with the exception of the kirin I can't remember the name of, the four lords were relatively peaceful. Was valigarmanda just cruel and violent, or did it have its own reasons for rampaging?

yeah, I figured as much. The storm would NOT have all this narrative weight unless something big was coming

the ratatoskr woodcut, the minfilia storybook, and now these. ffxiv art team LOVES to make super cool one-off illustrations that you see for maybe one (1) quest and then never again. Its their favorite activity

Koji Fox's love of conlangs strikes again

... do you need a lozenge, man? you're a bit hoarse.

SUDDEN BIRD EVENT

she really is a shonen protagonist at heart. all she needs is some 11th-hour powerup at the climax and she'd be Catgirl Naruto.

... once again. I am SO glad I am playing a video game and not doing this for real.

Next time: climbing that mountain. And probably the first trial.

[ghostlycorvid]

2023 Introspective

This year started with cutting off a toxic person who had already shut me out of mutual friend spaces but kept stringing me along with "maybe in a few more months I'll let you back in". 2022 was rough on its own, especially pre-antidepressants, but a huge part of it was stuff involving this person. Blocking them and finally accepting that it was not worth trying to repair what little relationship was left was the most freeing thing I've ever done and helped me to continue that with any other rude unpleasant individual I've had to share spaces with. It's been genuinely wonderful to realize I don't have to sit there and listen to bad takes or people who are needlessly mean, so I'm glad something came out of that friendship nightmare scenario.

It still took a lot of time to not sit there in anger and frustration spirals over the way things ended up, but in February I got permission from my bosses to bring my dog Chili to work with me due to needing to keep him and our other dog from playing while she was recovering from her spay. I ended up realizing that even though Chili is a huge anxiety baby, having him with me legitimately was helping distract me from negative thoughts spirals and gave me something positive to focus on when I was getting frustrated by work-related stuff in the moment. He ended up helping a couple coworkers come down from panic attacks later in the year too. My boss likes how "calm" he is enough that he gave me permission to bring Chili to work all the time (within reason), so he's come with me on most non-event days. His progress has been slow, but he's also been improving from the regular socialization!

I finally started to really focus on my own art and developing my own products and designs, both for my personal shop and for the shop at work. I've come out the other side of this year with 9 new enamel pin designs between the two! (A couple I haven't shared yet! ;D)

I was finally given an Adderall prescription which magically solved my problem where I couldn't stay awake during the day no matter how much sleep I'd gotten! And also it started helping me focus a little better too, but genuinely the non-sleepy thing was the most lifechanging part of the medication for me. The pit in my stomach when I was told that person felt like I was stalking and surveilling them if I was quiet in a call or stream despite years of me communicating that I was constantly struggling to even stay conscious was... HOO BOY. After years of fighting for my life to stay awake in college and sometimes even while DRIVING TO AND FROM WORK,,,,,,,, I really thought something was seriously wrong with me (besides the ADHD since I didn't realize it was a symptom of that)

With toxic people removed from my social spaces and general perception, I've finally started to join group calls with my friends again without anxiety or fear of not being welcome. It's helped me start to get back into playing games again, and I've been able to get into a few that either have built in accessibility features to avoid hand strain, or I've been able to modify my hardware setup to help with issues I was running into before. I've finally managed to pick up Warframe again, and I'm bouncing between that and Path of Titans without being hopelessly deep in a hyperfocus.

I officially got promoted at my job to Retail & Visitor Services manager (and got a $3 raise in Nov!!). While I'm struggling with finding help to ease my increased workload, I'm definitely way better off than before we hired on extra staff. It's given me a lot of networking opportunities (and excuses to go on field trips on the clock for ~*networking*~) and I've been juuuust starting to poke my head into local groups. One is a monthly artists crafting meetup right by work that starts right when I clock out! :D

I had the energy and free time to start branching out and trying other arts and crafts hobbies that had been interesting me! Ended up getting a serger machine to help really tidy up clothes that I make! I got into linocut & block printing, and have been having a lot of fun working on designs for that kind of printing. I even made a few printed shirts! And of course there was Andromeda, the first puppet I've ever made, and pretty much my proudest achievement in all my years of art so far.

I've honestly been spending less time on social media proper, usually forgetting to check tumblr for days or weeks at a time. Which has been good and bad, but overall better for me to stop feeling like I HAVE to fully backlog everything ever.

I got my first tattoo this year after wanting one for years and years! And that opened up a whole new can of worms and now I'm ending the year with 5 tattoos and 2 more scheduled in the next couple months oops! My first tattoo was Joltik, with my first ever pet spide!

I started keeping spiders this year after years of being too concerned about keeping pets that required live feeding! That also was a slippery slope. I picked up Indrid my red-backed jumper and Autumn my pumpkin patch t at the end of January, and now I have them, a regal jumper, a red-knee t, and a togo starburst t. You'd never guess that less than a decade ago I was scared shitless of all spiders. :> Especially now that I will occasionally free-handle wild spiders that need relocation to someplace safer. (Mostly still just jumpers tho)

Things aren't perfect by any means and I still have a lot of areas I want to personally improve myself in, but I feel like overall this has been a really really good year for me and I want to keep that momentum going into 2024! More art! More projects just for me! More time with friends! More enjoying games! More tidying my space literally and metaphorically!