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#I'll go back being dead now
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hey maybe I'll just stop watching shows from now on :) maybe that's an idea. never love anything and all that
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necrotic-nephilim · 4 days
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hey there, how do you feel about clark/dick and other ships with dickie and the JLA
hi!!! i *love* Clark/Dick!!! i think there's so many fun ways to do that ship, it can be very fucked up and almost incest-y, playing up the "Uncle Clark" bit, but also i'm personally very personal to Clark/Dick that happens when Dick is Batman and Clark is coping with his grief over Bruce and trying to fill that hole with Dick. it's fun even if Superbat never happened and Clark's feelings for Bruce were entirely platonic and things just get tangled in the mess of trying to treat Dick like an adult while also still not seeing him as big enough to fill Bruce's shoes. it's a delightful age and power gap, where Clark's respect for Dick is always going to be founded in a mentor-type bond which makes them so messy.
and it's super fun to play with Clark giving Dick the name Nightwing and how much Clark had to trust Dick with something so Kryptonian. he helped raise Dick almost as much as Bruce did and was a guiding figure for Dick during Bruce and Dick's worst times. which is so fun, if the person Dick goes to when he's pissed at Bruce ends up being someone he's romantically/sexually entangled with. because there's always going to be the questionable age gap and how they met, no matter how old Dick is when they "officially" get together. i could really see Dick sleeping with Clark to get back at Bruce during Dick's Discowing era, and it ends up causing complicated feelings either of them are willing to confront. in general i like the complicated feelings of Clark/Dick the most in any version of this ship. there's at least a dozen obstacles keeping them apart, so their relationship would be difficult and rocky to make work. they don't always agree and their relationship isn't as wholesome as it seems on the surface. Clark reacted *wildly* negatively to Dick as Batman when it first happened. he likes Dick, but i think it's really fun to play with Clark being averse to viewing Dick as an autonomous adult and how that affects them ad a ship.
as for other JLA ships with Dick, i'm open to just about any but don't really have developed thoughts besides Dick/Oliver. i think Oliver'se deep dislike for Bruce combined with his concern for how Bruce raises his sidekicks could work so well with an accidental relationship. like, Oliver keeping in touch with Dick and trying to form a mentoring bond just to make sure Dick isn't too controlled by Bruce and is well taken care of, and having that accidentally spiral could be so fun. because Oliver would be *horrified* and it'd conflict with him morally, even if Dick was a consenting adult. that's his son's best friend, and now they're sleeping together? Oliver keeps trying to break it off but he can't seem to stop. Dick is like a bad habit. it's fucked up and that's half the fun of it, the taboo nature. i also think Oliver would emotionally provide very well for Dick, who's trying to figure out how to exist on his own without Bruce. it'd be very "best friend's dad core" with all the age gap comments from Oliver while he's kissing Dick and how his love for Dick will always be just *slightly* tainted by that fatherly love. i think it's fun and fucked up.
i do sort of like Hal/Dick. but like. 80s/90s Hal who kind of sucked and was full of unaddressed bigotry and did some fucked up things like dating that teenage girl. like if you want a ship *full* of repressed internalized homophobia and "well i'm not gay this doesn't count" complexes, i think this works remarkably well. Hal is morally questionable enough to fuck Dick regularly and Dick still crawls back to him, even as Hal is in complete denial about his own sexuality and makes vaguely homophobic comments about Dick, while fucking Dick. just a grown ass man projecting all of his issues onto the 20-something hero who just wants a good fuck. i'm a big fan of Dick fucking older men who are cruel to him, almost as a form of cathartic self-harm. and you can pull that off pretty well if you work with Hal at his most asshole-ish era. like imo this ship could get *really* fucked up. especially if you played with like. Parallax stuff. also you know. the joy of Lantern Rings during sex.
lastly, i don't think he quite counts as JLA sine he's more Justice League of China, but. Kenan Kong, Superman of China. i have a *really* stuck in my head brainworm shipping him with Dick. they don't have much interaction, *but* i've had this idea of Kenan hearing the jokes about "every Super has a Bat" when he joins the Superfam and he decides it's his right to claim a Bat. and since Dick doesn't really have a Super, Kenan just. decides Dick is his. and forms what Dick thinks is a genuine friendship with the end goal of sleeping with Dick, consensually or not. i think it could be fun, playing into how Kenan used to be a really big asshole. hopefully I'll write it eventually, though i'm not sure how interested in it people would be since it's such a rarepair idea. but what am i if not a dealer of rarepairs.
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todayisafridaynight · 6 months
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no ones ever gonna understand how much i love daigo doin this stupid shit after dissolving the tojo
#snap chats#is this a gaiden spoiler. its been like five months catch up you nerds#ANYWAYYYYY NOO I LOVE HIM ....... this whole bit is like four seconds long but i love it so much#i just reminded myself i should probably make gaiden/y8 videos for daigo.. i'll make it a JP/ENG comp or somethn.. one day#not soon tho like its barely anything since he's not in those games Long At All but still. im lazy 💀#excuse me while i gush about daigo for twenty minutes now because hehee HE'S SO CUTE I CAN'T GET OVER IT#this is literally the middle aged equivalent of going yippee like YOU CAN TELL HE'S SO RELIEVED IT'S SO CUTE#got the energy of a student with crippling anxiety after they somehow get through giving a presentation without throwing up#AND his lil smile ......... thank you gaiden you made me wanna eat drywall with daigo's sad puppy dog eyes about kiryu#and then immediately made up for it a minute later#sorry i keep scrolling up to look at him and i love him so much. what if i threw up#i dont like using babygirl lightly but this is actually the most Babygirl frame of him ever ive decided#thats my boy .... i love my boy so much ..... he's so cute ... come so far in life congratulations king ..... ily ...#him lookin up at the sky for a minute just to breathe i know he thankin god for the fact he somehow isnt dead yet#im gonna ignore the fact all of this was for naught so i dont bash my head against a wall anyway stan daigo#im gonna be sick i love him so much#if i redraw this later shut up. i love him...#this is why i try not to look at cutscenes anymore cause when i do i feel my brain being put in a microwave and start to melt#its not my fault i love my guys so much .... ok bye i have work to do ....#and then when i finish that work i can go back to loving my guys YAAAAAY !!!!!!!
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harrowharkwife · 8 months
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you ever think about wake's notes? about how her revenant wrote that "THE ONLY THING OUR CIVILISATION CAN LEARN FROM YOURS IS THAT WHEN OUR BACKS ARE TO THE WALL AND OUR TOWERS ARE FALLING ALL AROUND US AND WE ARE WATCHING OURSELVES BURN– "
" –WE RARELY BECOME HEROES."
only to end up a hero herself? 'cause i do. i think about that a lot actually
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lanaevyssmoved · 1 year
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i just looked at my hidden oc page that houses all my ocs pre-bg3 and there's nearly 70 ocs on that page. i under estimated.
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blueskittlesart · 2 years
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my god grinding in persona 5 sucks ass
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zincbot · 9 months
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HM. MIRABELLE?
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hua-fei-hua · 4 months
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when i was in my second year of high school i sat next to this guy in history whom i didn’t rlly get along w/until i saw him writing love letters to his girlfriend and offered to fold them into hearts for him. i wonder what he’s up to.
#and now i am thinking abt how the differences in latinx n asian cultural values were probs what led us to not interact#(by 'us' i mean just like the general latinx n asian social halves at school)#like they probs thought i was looking down on them at first (strong asian value of academic achievement)#(also that chinese habit of never speaking your thoughts n feelings aloud bc i will keep all my feelings right here n then someday i'll die)#but like... i guess once i made it clear i was willing to help them (n not just leave them n their grades for dead) the dynamic changed too#i remember my hispanic classmates were often so much more *earnest* and open w/their feelings n affection#like i feel like high fives n dramatic gestures of greeting in the halls btwn classes are kind of obnoxious. you feel?#but once there was that understanding that i wasn't looking down on them i'd get those 'EYYYYYY *HIGH FIVE*' in the halls from them#n like looking back i think it's just a cultural thing bc there was like one asian student who did that but we all were like#'oh yeah. she's Like That(tm). it's not a... *bad*... thing..... (but we all think it's out of place socially n some think it's annoying)'#you ever just think abt cultures different from your own and sit in your baffled state for a while#bc 'we just don't do things like that. we just *don't*.' like not in a derogatory way or anything. just pure bafflement.#like who were the chinese parents who decided that being open w/your feelings (w/your children but also in general) was a no-go#how did we come to value emotional privacy to this extent. there's gotta be a philosopher i can point to#was it you confucius??? i bet it was you confucius#this post has been in my drafts since oct 21 2021 lol i think i should probably release it to the queue now#it's so old it uses the old post format editor#花話
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12freddofrogs · 10 months
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Very weird to be in that stage where a show is grabbing hold of your brain, but you haven't finished the show so you cant interact with fandom because spoilers, and you're watching it with someone else so you can't even just keep watching until you finish
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izzy-b-hands · 2 months
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My doctor messaging me at 12:30 in the morning to tell me she wants to do a telehealth visit abt the side effects I'm having with my new Lamotrigine dose (including worse insomnia than my usual insomnia, as u may have guessed lmao) is. something.
#text post#like i know why i am awake babe why are YOU awake this late#and god why do we have to do another visit#they aren't bad enough to make me stop this dose and i haven't been on the new dose long enough to let it even out#can i not just Not have to do another uncomfortable visit where even if things turn out okay after#i later feel like I'm still not being wholly trusted/treated like i know my body and how i feel#i had worse side effects restarting this med months ago and we didn't have any additional visits for that#they fucking forgot to even book me for a f/u and i had to call in and beg for one basically#and then they misbooked it for the wrong reason and with the wrong doctor#and made it out like it was my fault when i made clear i begged and told the receptionist i spoke to to book said appt#that it needed to b with my doc for the Lamotrigine and that i hadn't been told when to follow up so i was just. doing it#bc she said i needed to but then didn't say when to book it#they're trying hard and im trying to give them grace but then this shit happens and like#im tired. makes me want to go into my new doc like nah never mind im fine. don't ask me nothing and i won't bug you with anything#unless im dying or nearly dead already.#would suck beyond believe attempting to raw dog life mostly again but goddamn. im so sick of this lack of stability with my care#anyway. probably an appt next Tuesday which is great#that's the week of the weekend that i work again and the week before my bday#(a bday I'll be working now which I'm not normally irked abt but. i am a bit rn)#so cool. yeah. let's stack anxiety and fear over a medical appt on top of everything else for that week#and that's not counting that this weekend I've been tasked with buying and getting signed a v expensive and rare figure#for my mum's bf and I'm kind of terrified im gonna fuck it up#he paid for tickets to the con the figure will be sold at and that the person he wants to sign it will be at#so if i fuck this up he'll want (understandably) to be paid back asap for that#and that's money i don't fucking have rn#i really wish she had waited till the actual day proper to contact me bc i couldn't sleep before this#and now i definitely cant bc like#it's dumb. but what if she takes my med away. it isn't perfect but it works better than any other med I've tried#what if she wants me to try a new one. i cant do that and b dealing with major side effects during the intense work schedule#that'll be happening for me v soon and then into November
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ehlnofay · 6 months
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in the midst of a little depressive episode at the moment I fear and it's causing me to Ponder... in a weird way I'm almost grateful. like this is UNBELIEVABLY better than it used to be, even as much as it sucks in the moment. I wish I could go back to find myself at twelve years old hiding out in the school toilets and tell them that as long as we stick it out for long enough then one day the outsize bad emotions will be triggered by actual definable events and they'll be a noticeable change from our baseline. I'm not ✨recovered✨ and I don't know if I ever will be - I think I might have spent too many developmental years creating terrible patterns and associations to be able to straighten it all out - but it's Better and I'm able to know that it can continue to get better, too. and that's fucking huge.
#fay gets uncomfortably personal on her video game blog. NOT SORRY.#idk it's just crazy to think about#I really struggle to tap into this space enough to remember when I'm not actively in it#but I was SO FUCKING SICK back then. I was a child. and I was so fucking ill. I didn't know how young I was and I didn't realise how#disturbing it would feel down the line#(obviously. you don't lie down on the road in the middle of the night thinking 'I can't wait to suddenly remember this moment#in several years so it can become a sticking point in my psyche')#but like. that's my brother's age that's my sister's age I work with kids that age and it's so fucking young! and I'm so young now!#and I bet in five years I'll be going 'what a small little child... crazy' all over again#but like. idk. I was SO ILL. and I don't think it's like people say they thought they'd be dead by a certain age#it was a possibility for me but not an inevitability#but I don't think that I could have foreseen being better#in such a material way. you know. like I can't imagine myself ever fully healthy#or as close as anyone can get. I've had all this shit for so long. the idea of not carrying it anymore is honestly unappealing#like what would I even do without it. who would I be. how could that possibly happen#but this shit is BELIEVABLE. it's not gone it's just better and when it crops up I can deal#and I wish I could take the me of back then by the shoulders and say THIS IS NOT FOREVER!!!!!!!#ride it out long enough and you'll learn to live with it!!!!!!!!#it's just. really fucking huge. and I am so grateful#peace and love on planet earth!!!!
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beeholyshit · 8 months
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errmmmm
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butnobodycame627 · 9 months
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hhhhhhh I can't have nice things
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umbra-speculum · 2 years
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i have high and dangerous muse for Neah.
Too bad the fandom is still dead.
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#so i just finished s1ep2 of the bear (i don't really get it so far but ok)#and there's this scene where the main character calls up his sister and tells her about the mental shit that has been happening with him uk#and like even though this feeling is always there but lile i can't help but feel like my life would have been so much better with a sibling?#like one id have good relationships with uk???#and ik ik found family and forming meaningful relationships outside is an option but like in this capitalistic individualist society? is it?#anyways that's not the point it's that there's always stuff no body in the world would get except people who grow up with you innit?#be it school or hometowns or families and it would have been nice to have someone help me not feel this complete overwhelmness all the time#and without me feeling like im exaggerating or thinking that the person would judge me or having to keep telling everything repeatedly#but then i think would that even matter when I am the one who's the problem and like can't work to form that connection with anyone?????#like i for the life of me cannot share anything beyond the surface level or without making a joke out of it#and it seems funny but i trivialise so much of the fucking shit that happens so obviously no one takes it seriously not their fault right?#and like how fair to my friends that i literally almost always been superficial and lowkey untrue with them in exchange for their honesty???#at this point i feel like i don't even know what i truly feel or truly am because whenever i look back at my past self im like wtf#idk most of the times it just feels like being 'stuck' in a glass container and me not 'letting' anyone in if that makes sense?#ik im being very annoying about it but im just so tierd of feeling like this its been a decade & its way too long to constantly feeling dead#and im so fucking stubborn in my sadness that i won't even go get help after years of crying about wanting it & now finally having resources#it's like this mental block which i can't seem to remove and i feel like even if i do get help ill still be untrue so what's the point!???#yeahhhhh anyways i'll delete this later i don't journal so tumblr will have to make do#vi.txt
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i swear, every pride month, i end up unfollowing like close to a dozen people--including mutuals--because everyone just gets completely politically unhinged and horrible. either it is aphobia, misogyny, or antisemitism, but soooo many people just go off the rails with it. i dunno what it is about this month, but where i used to look forward to it, i've begun to absolutely dread it.
i used to love pride online because irl pride is so hostile to jews (it isn't that much better here, tbh) and i could at least participate here, but where it used to be mostly sane, it has quickly spiraled into homophobia/biphobia/aphobia, misogyny, and exploitative regressive politics where the entire point of pride is sidelined to appeal to some fucked up groups that this website loves propping up as mascots. no one on here seems capable of being normal about forgotten marginalized groups, like women, aces, and jews. it even has a lead up sometimes; the lead up this year felt like pms, my dash has been so bad the past couple weeks and today the floodgates opened. i haven't seen this much unmasked misogyny and aphobia in a long time and it is only day one. this year is gonna suck, i can just feel it.
all this to say, if i end up unfollowing you and you're a mutual, it isn't personal. i'm just getting close to my wits end
#lucky.txt#as much as i dislike the community i used to be a part of on here i never realized how much i took for granted not having to see the#brain dead and/or fucked up perverted politics of mainstream tumblr all over my dash on a daily basis. like before if i saw something#stupid i could be confident that the ten comments under the op would be saying exactly what i was thinking: ''this is dumb and wrong.''#now the ten comments under the op make me want to throw my laptop through a wall. my 'j' key doesn't even have a j on it anymore.#that is how many times i have *slammed* my finger on that button to get the atrocious things i see on this dash out of my sight as#quickly as humanly possible. i have never rolled my eyes so much in my entire life than i have in the past year on this blog. the utter#lack of critical thinking skills on mainstream tumblr is ridiculous. this website has somehow convinced people of problems#that literally do not exist irl while simultaneously denying real life oppression as being ''chronically online.'' if you make any kind of#response criticizing mainstream opinions on here you will be slapped as a 'puritan' a 'fascist' or whatever other word of the day#that is used for minorities who don't like having their rights and dignities infringed on by entitled leftists. if it weren't for the simpl#fact that i would instantly be barred from like 2/3rds of tumblr i would just go back to the old community and grit my teeth through#the bad parts. it is deeply concerning just how far gone and detached from reality so many of you are. i've said it before but#i'll say it again: i literally will never understand how this website was dubbed the ''gay feminist'' site when it is so horrifically#misogynistic and homophobic even during pride month and women's month
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