#I'll fix it when im not tired
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The Healing Process
Chapter 4
Dreedful revilation
"A coffin?!" Philza confirmed; he was seated at Cellbit's dining table reviving information of the night before. After Phil's midnight episode Cellbit would drag him, well mostly the coffin, to his home so he could properly rest.
"That you built yourself yes," Cellbit explained, "Phil I must say with the recent events this seems more like possession."
The thought the cursed king had taken his antonym was absolutely terrifying. There was no chance of fighting back, the entity was on a higher level than he was, than anyone was, he didn't want to fight a losing battle with his own body.
"Phil," Cellbit threw him out his thoughts, "the vision you had." Phil groan in annoyance as he tilt his gaze. "I know you don't want to talk about it, but this is clearly important.
"I don't even know where to start." Phil began with a sigh, "I know this is connected to my dreams, it's so much of a longer story than you think."
"I have time." Cellbit reasured, he watch Phil sit in silence a little longer starching at the table in an clear attempt to smooth his nerves. He reached out and brought Phil's hand to a stand still, successfully gaining his attention.
"Phil, Bolas to Bolas let me help you." Cellbit requested.
Philza exhaled deeply then gently pulled his hand from Cellbit's grip, "Ok." He began, "I think it started with the dreams, for as long I could remember I've been having dreams of another world.
"what kind of world?"
"That's the thing it's hard to explain.. I guess a domain would be the right term? It's like this space in-between homes of like..Gods."
"Right.." Cellbit respond in mock confidence, admitly unnerved at the mention of Gods.
"these a few of them, but the antagonist is The Ender King, he steal biomes and part of others domain, it became a problem and so they flood his domain."
"I'm assuming that killed him, being an Ender and all?" Cellbit inquired
"yeah, actually it's weird.. I'm wasn't there when this is happened I'm discovered The story after by finding things buried in the ground, scrolls but.."
"But..?"
"it's like I can still feel them there..all of them.."
Cellbit bit his tongue at that information, all would imply the Ender King as well, but a being that has the ability to steal bomies surly must be powerful, would drowning him even work again?
"Phil if you don't mind, I'd like to observe you sleep, it might help us figure out how to stop this," Cellbit made a quotation gesture with his fingers, "Ender King."
"Wait you mean like sleep here?"
"Yes, I'll make you a proper room with a comfortable bed."Cellbit explained, "you deserve it, UNLIKE SOME PEOPLE!"
"Oh stop complaining you big wussy." AbueloRoeier excalimed as he entered the room.
"Why are you even here?" Cellbit pushed, "didn't I dropped you in the old folks home?"
"Ha! Nice try bitch you can't get rid of me!" He responded Before slowly walking to the other room.
"Anyways..it would do good to observe your sleep pattern from start to finish." Cellbit explained further
"I see, you're not gonna let me sleep in a coffin again right?" Phil teased
"Well, I will have back up.." Phil tilled his head in confusion at Cellbit's respond.
Phil lied in his temporary king size bed as he stared up at the celling; the room was mostly dark aside from a dull red light for a nightlight that supprisly was making him more tired.
He glanced over at the camera in the corner of the room, there he knew Cellbit was watching him from. He consider asking him to play some form of music or rain sounds, anything to help him forget that despite the comfortable nature of the bed he was sleeping in a reinforcered box.
Instead however Philza turned on his side, determine to fall asleep despite the knowledge of being watched. On the other side Forever placed a cup of coffee next to Cellbit then sat nearby with his own as they watched the camera.
"how's he doing?" Forever asked
"He still hasn't fallen asleep yet." Cell informed as he pulled his cup closer.
"bond to happen when your being watch I supposed, the six sense that tells you when you're being watched."
"Hm, we have all night either way." He took a sip of his coffee.
As the night dragged on Cellbit consumption of coffee increased. He rub the exhaustion from his eyes as he watch Phil stir in his sleep, the most activity he'd seen in the past two hours .
He then looked over at Forever whom was passed out in his chair, leant back with his feet on the desk and his head pointed to the calling. His chair was also standing on the two back leg, he look like he would fall at any moment.
He quickly turn his attention back to phil, noting the sudden knocking on the wall below the camera. He raised his eyebrows as Phil stared up at him, like he was look directly into his soul.
Cellbit dragged his clipboard close by then transferred the information down however his process would be interrupted by yelling, he looked up at the screen again.
Philza was now pacing the room and yelling his voice at lest five Octanes deeper. Cellbit focussed his attention on his subject admittedly concerned for his behavior, soon Phil turned to pulling at the reinforced door.
Cellbit stood up halfway in preparation to run downstairs, there was no way he'd break though the door! While Cell was hopefully unfortunately it wasn't quite enough to hope as Phil or whoever was possessing him broke apart the door then made his exit.
Cellbit lifted Forever's legs out the way, waking Forever in the process, he Yelp in surprise as the chair tilted over then sat back up garling at Cellbit, "what was that about?!"
"He's escaped!" Cellbit announced before exiting the room, Forever quickly followed him. They would chase Philza on foot, bealry keeping up with his speed
Suddenly Philza took of, supprisly the wings he calmed to be broken carried him into the air; they stopped in awe, painful awear they wouldn't be able to catch him.
Thankfully for them his wings suddenly gave out thus he came crashing to the ground. The duo ran quickly to Phil's unmoving body, Forever then gently attempt to pick him up. "help me out please?" He requested
Cellbit apologizes then help Forever throw Phil over his shoulders, much to his dismay and he suddenly found the engery to Punch Forever's back repeatedly.
Regardless they carry on, practically dragging Phil kicking and screaming, back to the castle and into the original room, Cellbit observed the surrounding area for the door but found nothing more than ramble.
"He broke the door, it'll take a while for me to make a new one!" He explained
Forever glanced around the room, than turned his attention back to Cellbit, "just block it in." He suggested.
Cellbit rumish through his inventory for blocks, "are you sure you'll be able to handle him?" He asked recalling the extreme strength he had before.
Forever agreed before gently drooping Phil on the bed, then made his way to the further cover; He sat on the floor, staring Phil down.
He observed as Phil push himself up partly, the purple glow in his eyes, the way his head hung in desperation. But what shoke him soul was the incredible deep voice that left his mouth, the mer presence of which filled him with dreed.
"How dare you beast?" Phil spoke.
Forever inhaled deeply as rubbed his hands together, still keeping his eyes on Philza, "So you wanna talk huh?" He began, "Ok let's talk; what are you, what do you want?"
"I Just.. want to..Rest!" He spoke with a booming voice, "Do you have any idea what it feels like to be aware for four thousand years?" The room slowy filled with water; Forever push himself up with one hand to the wall, a hand that glow a deep navy while he whispered to himself in Portuguese.
"Do you have any idea what it feels like, to burn for you nature?!" Forever swore he could hear Phil's regular voice in the word burn, he'd make a mental note of it. "Was it such a sin, for me to take what's mine until the end of time?"
Despite the room being completely filled with water, forever found he could breath just fine. He therefore approached Phil slowly his left hand still glowing dully in the shade of the water.
"I just want to rest.." Phil wouldn't move yet his now purple eyes stared at forever though damp locks, his pupils incredibility dilated.
"But, this is rather counter productive isn't it?" Forever commented once he got closer, he climbed on the bed, then grasp Phil's face with no hastation, Phil's eyes immediately darted up to met his own. "If you're tired then sleep."
Almost immediately after Forever statement Philza's eyes fell shut as he drifted into sleep then onto Forever's lap. The water began to drain into seemingly no where leading forever to the conclusion the spirit had finally leftt.
Forever turned to the camera in the upper corner of the room, curious how much of that Cellbit saw. Denounced to him Cellbit was still staring at the video feed in absolutely appalled at the events that played out.
#qsmp#q!philza#q!forever#q! Cellbit#ender king#child of the sky#the healing process#sugarduo#archivists duo#i only proof read rhis once#don't coment about typos#I'll fix it when im not tired
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Animation
"Watch"
Okay I'm done. It's not my best work but I'm proud of it. JD here is probably intimidating someone by showing that he isn't above violence lol (he's bluffing...kinda) I decided to temporarily call this AU "Beyond Reach"
Here is a poorly done brief summary of what the AU is all about.
This AU has a similar beginning to another AU called "For This You Were Born" by @/blade-that-was-broken. (Where Trolls can sacrifice themselves before Trollstice in exchange for their family to be left alone.) JD's mom begged or dragged him away to sacrifice himself for their family. Unbeknownst to them, Branch was sleeping inside JD's hair at that time, accidentally also bringing him into danger. JD was definitely ready to die until he realized Branch was with him; this made him reconsider dying and actively try to survive. He got sold to a Bergen who lives far away from Bergen Town, and that's how he managed to escape. This is where the similarities end cause after injuring himself for a bit and meeting Rhonda, he decided that he must bring Branch home at all costs. It was his only motivator—to see and be with their brothers again. So imagine the pain and grief he felt when he arrived back at the hollowed-out troll tree with its roots dug out; his brothers were probably dead. The sight alone had made him turn gray (which also turned Branch a bit gray as well). After a while, he decided to raise Branch by himself. He went to the Neverglade Trails and traveled around the Troll Kingdom.
(I suck at explaining lol. Just expect a lot of art of them traveling around and JD angst™)
JD here is a little (okay maybe a lot) different from Cannon!JD. He's very protective and kinda serious here :3
If you guys have any questions about my au feel free to ask :3
#And that's my au!#hhhh this animation was a NIGHTMARE to make#i definitely made a lot of mistakes--#like the color shifting (that bothers me a lot)#the inconsistencies with the sizes and shapes (this as well)#but im too busy and tired to fix it :')#I have a doc that deeply explains this AU in full details. but it's not done yet#I'll probably show it to you all when I'm semi done with hi#semi done with it***#trolls#dreamworks trolls#john dory#trolls 3#trolls band together#trolls john dory#trolls au#Beyond Reach au#BR!John Dory#BR!JD#animation
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They should invent a losing/forgetting things because you have a disorder that makes you lose/forget things that doesn't make me feel so guilty and frustrated I want to cry
#i was so so so SO careful to remember to pack my new pill case i bought specifically for this trip#and i lost the ENTIRE FUCKING PILL CASE. WITH ALL THE PILLS IN IT.#it is GONE.#i dumped out my entire bag and even shook out the clothes to make sure it wasn't lodged in an armhole or something#i was so careful to create a system in which i would remember to take my fucking meds.#i bought a special pill case. i downloaded an app#i KNOW i had it in my purse when i left the house#it's so fucking unfair!! i try so so so SO GODDMAN HARD AND I ALWAYS FAIL ANYWAY#I'm 31 and im alone in my hotel room and I'm going to fucking cry over a plastic case that cost me a dollar.#I'm just so tired of having a broken brain and I'm sick of forgetting things and losing things and trying so hard for nothing#and the only way to fix it is guess what?? remembering to take a goddamn pill#I'll be fine in like an hour i just need a good cry#but i shouldn't have to cry over something so fucking stupid over and over and over again#.....#i need to have more grace for my mistakes than the adults in my life did while i was growing up
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man. I've been reworking a lot of content involving Act II of Home Is Where You Are and like. ugh. it'd work so freaking well in novel form but I just Do Not have the dedication or the drive to start from scratch and rewrite everything that happens.
idk how else to share the updated version of that part of the story with y'all tho, considering that Khalan's journal is insanely outdated now and isn't entirely canon anymore, so I'll probably just have to accept that I likely won't ever be able to update the story for y'all in the way I wish I could. >n<;;
#spectre says#text post#delete later probably#tbh i'm so tired of being tired#i've had like. no energy to write or draw#even tho. the ideas are there. i've got so many concepts going through my head that i could work on and turn into some kind of tangible art#i tried writing out a new outline for act ii but i got overwhelmed with all the changes and plot holes that still need working out#so idk if i'll even continue with that#even tho it's just bullet points#fhgdjkfg#anyway#the idea of writing everything in novel form just sounds like. SO perfect for the story as it is now#i'd love. to establish both khalan and antony as main characters and focus on what happens to both of them while in Atria#eventually having their stories collide when antony's side of things merges with what's going on with khalan and aya#it'd feel less jarring than how it worked out in the journal#because this part of the story is just as much antony's story as it is khalan and aya's#and he's ultimately the one who fixes things and has 'main character energy' by the end of that act#so establishing him as one of the tertiary main characters early on makes sense i think#but yeah. there's just a lot i'd need to do and i know i wouldn't be able to keep up with it if i did try to start writing.#IM JUST RAMBLING NOW IM SORYO#it's just been on the brain i guess
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woag. vibeo game?
(very rough still)
(but now theres more colours)
#game dev#my art#murderhouse makeover#fuck it whatever im probably never gonna do the legal shit for this#slim chance i even make it to uploading on itch lmao#turns out game dev takes a REALLY long time when you dont know what you're doing#also i should not have waited this long to make the actual win state. how the hell am i gonna quantify decorating a house#since filming this video ive made the main menu buttons nicer and fixed the storage system#one of these days i'll actually put effort into the video#but also. i dunno#ive been telling myself id have enough to do a demo for the last two years now. im so tired and i keep not finishing shit#between making this and my full time job and also making regular ass drawings to put on this blog i kinda wanna throw the towel in#stop reading here if you dont wanna see my sad ass thought process#im not the kinda guy that gets Big Successes. like even if i finish and polish this fully it'll sell MAYBE a hundred copies#its kinda hard to keep going on this with that weighing on me yknow. like ive wasted months of work on this#this has been my free time for the past two years#i dont know#I DONT KNOW
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hey. hey mutuals. psspspsppsps. come plot with me.
#(OOC.) ''The kind of tired regular sleep can't fix.''#((kinda addicted to plotting recently))#((cooking up a cool concept to start writing on gets me super excited))#((maybe I could make a plotting call?? I think those are things))#((like this post and I charge your ims like a wild animal with plot ideas?))#((mmm i'll probably drop that when I get home))#((if it's not just this post already ahsbcjrkrshr))
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shitty doodles from trying to draw good (naddpod beloved)
#naddpod#henry hogfish#zirk vervain#beverly toegold v#erlin kindleaf#beverlin#sol bufo#moonshine cybin#solum bufo#girl idk how to tag and am afraid of overtagging help#fr talk if u found this post thru a tag search and are like 'this shouldnt be here' PLS tell me#i would hate to be the tag spam person pls tell me so i can make sure i am not the tag spam person#pictures have alt ids but 1) i dont think theyre my best i'll be honest#and 2) im tired enough that i was a little fast and loose with what i thought was pertinent to put in the desc.#very sorry abt that i'll fix it when i get the chance (i.e. not abt to fall asleep) but hopefully theyre uh. hopefully they'll do for now
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today should be a t break day
bc I'll need it to be more effective in the coming days if we see family, and then I'll have the survey shifts
but since late last night i keep randomly nearly breaking into tears and thinking abt the stupidest shit that needs to stay in the box in my brain
so idk. maybe it will be. it is thus far. but I'm not leaving my room without a container of some edible or another in my pocket either
#text post#no idea where the fuck this came from and it kept me up until fucking four in the fucking morning#but only NEARLY crying my body/brain still won't let me FULLY cry#and i did email my prior doc with a 'can i ask u just abt this one current symptom and if it is abt what i think & ill send u 20 bucks even'#she said no to the twenty bucks but said yeah it does sound like my ptsd has been triggered by multiple things over the last year#and the not being able to cry is a part of it. my body's trying to protect me from feeling anything abt it and breaking down#and part of that means not letting the tears fall so there's no physical acknowledgement of any feelings#which is what i was thinking was going on but it's nice to confirm it with someone who knows their shit#doesn't fix it but at least i know.#the thing is that the triggers are like. good? bc im in a healthier safer environment now with ppl that don't do what my mum & fam do to me#but it means my brain is learning just how much of a lot of it Wasn't Normal and was actually Pretty Harmful and that's.#i want my brain to just accept and get over that already tbh. okay so that's the case it doesn't change anything????#why are we still thinking abt it and having feelings over it at this point bc that feels like a waste of time#there are no apologies I'll get for things that happened from when i was younger and there's no closure it just Is What It Is#I'm tired of even wanting to cry over it when I'd rather be throwing myself into making money & being productive art-wise#it manages to interrupt so many fucking facets of my life like#whatever. anyway considering a music au new draft where ed and izzy meet seth. and immediately offer to kill him for Pickles aksnsjfnfgj
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there are many benefits to knowing basic html cod- oh god oh fuck
#yeah i'll put this here instead of on main cause why not#i'd already blocked the clown everyone's talking about so when i saw people saying you could replace the image i was 'oh man now i cant :('#but it turns out there was ANOTHER THING that didnt get blocked for some reason. but anyways i tested it and ahkjhsdkjSDKHH#I DIDNT INTEND FOR LEN TO BE HUGE???? WTF MAN im sure i could fix it if i really wanted but ehh lazy#sent that element to the void anyways so no more doing that now. bye giant chibi len#since it toggles a different theme when you click on it i tried seeing if i could make it more len-themed too#i managed to change the background but i couldn't change the upper bar thing color?? 😭😭 so i just gave up lol#i coulda probably done that if i put more time into properly seeing shit but also i literally just woke up im tired man
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every day i see people talking about things that I simply do not understand no matter how much I look into it and think about it and try to figure it out. i cannot tell if it's brainfog and fatigue or if I'm just ,,,, incapable of being intelligent enough for it all :[
#i sure do feel like a fucking idiot lately!#I wish I wasn't (weren't?) aware of how stupid i am but unfortunately i am acutely aware of it and I can't seem to do anything about it#like... why am i unable to comprehend things. why can't i figure it out if I go learn about it. why does it just not Click for me.#becoming increasingly aware of just how little i know and how naive i am and i have to say ... its frightening me fhfkdl#i feel like i am going to be fucking mauled if i say anything ever or if i try to participate in any conversations of worth#so I've just been staying quiet constantly. but then I just feel disconnected from everything and everyone#because i never participate! i just stand in the bg and listen and watch!!#but what's driving me crazy is i dont even seem to be learning in any significant way!! even though im just listening all the time!!#why can't i make any progress in understanding shit 😭 why is it all still just as out of reach as when i started !!#i really feel like there is something very wrong with my brain but idk what to do about it dhfjdkl#I've been isolating a lot more than usual the past couple months because i just feel so useless and stupid compared to everyone else#but then i talk to ppl irl and i feel like I'm operating on a higher level of social awareness than most ppl#which then makes me feel bad bc i worry im somehow thinking im better than other ppl but its not that fhdkdl#i just get tired of like... guiding the conversation for ppl and smoothing over social potholes#like im always the one driving the conversational vehicle. and if i stop driving then we crash. idk if this makes sense#but then online im always the one who is one step behind everyone else and making blunders#so ... I don't know what to do anymore fhfjdkl i think smth has gotten very broken in my brain and idk what it is or how to fix it#UHMM ANYWAYS. this is ... a rant and a half. oops.#im the worlds most average joe cool though 👍 nothing to worry about or see here! (<- sarcasm i think)#this is one of my worst vents of all time actually fbfjdkl this one is just a real stinker#just kind of incomprehensible and way too self-pitying methinks. oh well! I'll delete it if i think better of it later dbfjdkl#pippen needs 2nd breakfast
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love waking up to my mom giving me an ultimatum and ordering that i have to give up my (admittedly expensive) apartment 1n 2 weeks and move back home for good. i had stuff to do today but i guess being gripped by dread and anxiety works too
#i had been thinking about moving to a smaller one too. but now she's ordering me to do that#and expects me to move back home#when my university and all of my two friends are in the city.#and i have TWO WEEKS to live here if she wants me to move before summer because i have to go back home anyway in early may#for my summer job.#like sure i wouldve understood like a hey. my child. your financial situation is oretty tough so i have some suggestions that could help#but she was like okay here's whay you do: option a) [something i couldnt do before fall] b) find a cheaper apartment and live in two weeks#c) move home for good and commute over an hour any day you have university stuff to do and also essentially lose access to your#friends and all and any independence you have managed to cobble together so i can treat you like a child and yeall at you#the last part wasnt included but it's what she does anyways so i assume it's part of the deal#then i would have to commute or drive an hour any time i wanted to see either of my friends. after every summer im already#tired and desperate to come back to my apartment to get to be on my own. and now she's saying i have to never do that again#and here's the fuckin thing. her husband is planning on fixing my car. my mom pays my phone bill. i know what a loser i am whatever.#she actually owns my dogs and my childhood home. i cannot. piss her ofd too much. because then i'll lose all of those#phone. whatever i can get a new one. car. slightly more heartbrwakin but like i still own it. but the house?#my dogs?? i think i would rather die atm if im being honest#so what the fuck am i supposed to do. huh.#maybe i should just walk into the sea foe good i feel like that would just so neatly solve all of my problems
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Omfg I never actually posted about this but just like 2 days ago I realized that no it is Not normal to experience lightheadedness near daily when I've gone just a little too long without eating
I looked it up and apparently lightheadedness/dizziness CAN be a part of fibromyalgia (which I think I have for a number of different reasons), so like. It all makes sense.
Fuckin fibromyalgia. It's the source of like 95% of my physical problems, I swear. Every Damn Thing can be traced back to it. What a pain.
#speculation nation#'what a pain' haha get it bc chronic pain#frankly speaking the chronic pain part of it isn't the Worst. it's only a few times a month that i get my arm and leg aches#(though sometimes ill have bouts that last longer. like in january i think when i had arm aches for over a Week)#then again my rib cartilage inflammation is a permanent thing. my ribs Always are fucked up.#and i dont know 100% that it's bc of fibro but this condition has been linked to fibro and it didnt go away with anti-inflammatories So#in the end the pain isnt my biggest concern for treating my fibro. aside from the frequent headaches. i Would like to counter those.#what i really need is help with my chronic fatigue and weakness spells#i hate how fragile i feel so much of the time. bc im NOT weak. for my size im actually surprisingly strong.#but im quick to tire and if i push myself too hard then im practically bedridden#i will literally get symptoms of sickness if im too fatigued. including nausea and coughing and headaches#all fixed after ive gotten some rest. so im not Actually sick.#im tired and fed up with how finicky my body is and how i have to eat on time always or i'll be threatened with passing out.#havent passed out Yet but ive had some times where i end up Having to sit bc i get tunnel vision and my scalp is prickling#and it feels like my brain is squeezing and i know i Have to sit down Right Now#idk. there are many things like this. and i am sooooo tired of it.#i want a fibro diagnosis so i can actually get some help for the things that make life so hard to live.#im not depressed im just chronically fatigued. and so very tired.#give me some Energizing Meds or smth. help me please 😭😭😭 i hate living like this 😭😭😭😭😭#i wanna be able to do things without being bedridden for the rest of the day 😭😭😭😭 please 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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The back and forth of knowing I've got to catch up on GH for Trina/Spencer/Ava character analysis purposes, but also really not wanting to deal with analyzing the tedious sociopathic mooch as well...
#gh#*sighs* you ever just get sick of a character/performance#and it almost becomes unfair because even when the show tries to fix it you're still just sort of sick of that character?#yeah that's about where im at lol#i want to be fair but...whew im tired about a lot of things when it comes to gh#i'll probably start tonight cause my backlog's not that bad 🥲
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INSTAGRAM JUST UP AND DELETED MY SAVED COLLECTIONS. I SPENT LIKE A YEAR SORTING POSTS INTO THOSE COLLECTIONS. IT ALSO MYSTERIOUSLY AND WITHOUT WARNING DELETED A BUNCH OF MY CHATS WITH FRIENDS FROM MY INBOX. I LOST SO MANY IMAGES AND VIDEOS MY FRIENDS SENT ME OVER THE YEARS. WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL
#i genuinely do not understand what the hell#why. like what did i even do#i don't post or comment on IG either#I contacted support twice. no damn response#y'all if you know any fixes...let me know pls!#i had sooo much stuff saved and sorted into collections. recipes fashion inspo poetry n writing excerpts. a vision board even#to be clear i still have my saved posts but they're all unsorted now bc IG deleted my collections#now i'll have to scroll 10 miles if i want to find an older saved post#this is wildest thing for a social media app to do to you unprovoked. ALSO completely and utterly out of the blue. like what#i feel personally targeted im not even kidding lmfaooooo#bc best believe i ran to google to look for fixes. and guess what i got. nothing. damn near nothing#and im about to burst out laughing as i type this out bc what the hell man 🤣😭 this shit is so ridiculous its funny#but im also so angry at having my data wiped that i don't know what to do#man 😭 im tired. im going to sleep#i'll wake up and what next? my instagram as a whole gets fuckin deleted lmfaoo#which when you think about it. is a good thing. they'd be doing me a favor#instagram is demonic atp anyway#personal
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i love subconsciously doing things in my writing it’s so fun :)
#im only sorta beng sarcastic skhgskhfd#in this case it was just me realizing 'hey laurent has been calling him the prince a lot and i had been usng the akielon earlier'#and then i realized it was bc laurent was moved to an akielon camp so like. everyone around him is 'the akielon' which means#in order to differentiate that he means damen then his title would be the easiest way to do that#i didn't realize i did that until it hit me sdljfslhf#anyway he should start using damen's name soon i'm about to that scene#:)#tho likely when speaking to him he'll still use his honorific#and bc i have THOUGHTS about akielon's and their small names he'll also be calling him by his full name#:D#i have THOUGHTS and FEELINGS ok#anyway#it's soooo late and im soooo tired but i think im gonna try and hold out one more hour#i'll go to sleep at 4am#just to try and build back my schedule#i have until monday to get it fixed#on monday night i have work and i won't have a choice but to stay up all night :')))#ANYWAYS#shh ac#wip: laurent stabs damen
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im starting to feel the "dead" in deadlines
#one big one due tmrw#but i might be getting feedback on it and having to fix some parts up till early feb so the deadline doesnt necessarily end the work here#another one till next friday and sometime after ill have to go to uni and present it so its another soft line#and then theres this vague one that doesnt have a date yet so im calling it the deadarea#thats prolly gonna be due mid february and will also require a presentation#and THEN theres another one that doesnt have a date yet but its The Big Boy Project and im gonna give a presentation and answer questions#and THATS WHEN I FINISH UNI WOOOOOOOOO#i so cannot wait i CANT#and i hate that so many dates are not set yet cause i cant have a specific day to wait for until its over and done#cause rn the only way i can look at it is that i'll for sure be a free man before march#which is a month and a half away and thus doesnt seem particularly optimistic#but hey at least tmrw ill have one thing 98% taken care of and im already done with the hard part of the second thing#im just. tgeres so much work and its already been weeks of this and theres weeks more?? motivation is negative#one good thing is that time passes no matter what u do. so every second of this is inevitably getting me closer to the end !!!!#yeah. i sound a lil bit like a negative nancy but rly im mostly positive just tired heh#straytalks
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