#I'll do a separate post about it
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I think the aspect of the 2.7 story that felt most impactful to me was something that was previously addressed in the Penacony main story, but was reemphasized and expanded upon with Sunday being the narrative focus of this update:
Sunday is scared.
His motivation to protect the people and things important to him -- Robin is an excellent example -- manifests as a desire for control, to eliminate potential dangers. This motivation is based in fear; he's afraid to lose what he has to factors beyond his control, like the bullet that nearly took his sister's life.
And part of the "true paradise" he longs for involves preventing the sense of powerlessness that accompanies that fear. He believes that humanity sleeps because "we are afraid to awaken from our dreams." Indeed, the appeal of the "sweet dream" of Penacony is freedom from the uncontrollable and inevitable tragedies of the waking world.
It's part of what made him such an effective villain in the Penacony arc; even though you may disagree vehemently with his actions, you can understand with and sympathize the rationale behind them. In his mind, absolute control over the Dreamscape -- the elimination of frightening unknowns -- is the most effective way to keep everyone safe and happy. However, this undermines the real freedom and autonomy of the affected populace, many of whom are unaware of the Dreamscape's true nature.
In the 2.7 update, Sunday is "nerfed after turning into a good guy," to use March's words. Previously, he enjoyed immense social status as the head of the Oak Family -- and as the imposing, invulnerable, "final boss"-style antagonist. Now, his role is effectively reversed; he's a fugitive who has to disguise himself to evade the potential consequences of simply being seen.
He's an incredibly vulnerable position.
Not just physically -- as the audience, we also get intimate insights into his feelings and thought processes. Now he recognizes the scope of the harm he was previously willing to cause in the name of absolute control, and shoulders the responsibility of dealing with the repercussions.
His newly evident guilt and shame is emotionally moving on its own...
...and becomes even more poignant when you realize that guilt and shame and vulnerability has been a crucial aspect of his character from the very beginning. After all, so much of his deep-seated fear of the unknown stemmed from him blaming himself -- his lack of control over the situation -- for Robin's unforeseen injury.
I found the scene at the Dream's Edge the most touching in this update. Sunday's conversation with Robin is a bit of a paradox: he is deeply sincere and vulnerable in speaking to his own sister, yet guarded because he must avoid revealing his true identity. And Robin, in turn, directly provides an alternate outlook on Sunday's character, describing him as though to someone who's never met him, as though he isn't there.
And Robin's perspective reaffirms that Sunday's apparent invulnerability was essentially a facade. He may have been the head of the Oak Family, and the imposing final boss, but at the same time, on the inside, he was continually paralyzed by fear.
Sunday has always been vulnerable. He has always been scared.
And I think what makes the conclusion to the 2.7 story so satisfying and triumphant is that Sunday begins to properly address his fear, his persistent guilt and shame. He moves beyond simply acknowledging it, and recognizes not just how indulging his fear can bring further harm, but also what good things (that otherwise wouldn't occur) can happen when he overcomes it -- as it were, when he doesn't let his fear control him.
I'm going to be real, I probably had an intelligent-sounding conclusion for this, but... it took me several weeks to write this and I've forgotten any idea i might have had previously, so let's just say he definitely hit me right in the feels. 🤣
#sunday#hsr sunday#honkai star rail#hsr#star rail#hsr spoilers#sunday hsr#idk man just. AAAGH#idk if I'll ever be over how sunday played with my feelings#i started the penacony main story back in like march or smth and this update came out in december#so that's a solid 9 months i spent legitimately terrified of sunday#like that one scene in his office with aventurine gave me probably some of the worst nightmares i had all year#so like. idk if i realized it consciously at the time going through this part of the story but#i think it hit me particularly hard learning that he was never as invulnerable as he seemed#like not that him being a big scary villain was fake per se#but in that his invulnerable persona was a fundamental misconception of his character#that is perhaps deliberately cultivated (he talks about how he never wants to share too many of his worries with robin)#i feel like that could be its own separate post because AAAH#there's so many feelings and so much dramatic irony in sunday and robin's relationship#demonstrated very well by this conversation at the dream's edge#anyway. so i just.#like i definitely didn't doubt that this part of the story would do his character justice#but given my previous feelings on him i just never expected to fall for him like i did#well played hoyo. well played
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it's in the eyes
#boonboomger spoilers#boonboomger#bakuage sentai boonboomger#super sentai#userdramas#umbrella.gifs#taiya hando#ishiro meita#bun red#bun blue#tokuedit#please do not repost#umbrella.edits#umbrella.posts#i don't really ship them romantically but i do really like their friendship and i think trust is so important to taiya and being able to#trust ishiro was a big thing for him personally i'll talk about it more in a separate post later but for now the guys :)
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Welcome to Tokyo Debunker we have:
Yoosung and V from Mystic Messenger




Prince Diavolo and the wholesome twin of Solomon from Obey Me!




Ayato and Reiji from Diabolik Lovers




Miles Edgeworth from Ace Attorney


Gojo from Jujutsu Kaisen


And then there's this bitch...

#not whb#hello new game fandom :D#not rly sure if I'll post more stuff about it#if i do I'll just probs make a separate blog for it ^^#tokyo debunker#kaito fuji#leo kurosagi#haru sagara#towa otonashi#taiga hoshibami#ritsu shinjo#edward hart#yuri isami#hyde haizono#professor hyde
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i'm gonna go insane
whenever i watch the opening of wreck it ralph i can't help but wonder ... ok so originally and for years i've always thought the other bad guys just didn't fully understand how much shit ralph has gone through for his entire life and they have better lives which i think is in parts still true , as they do appear to have get-togethers often and they seemingly have other friends while ralph had no one , but i unfortunately don't feel like that's the extent of it and that there's more to it than that .
on one rewatch something about their phrasing bothered me ... 'we've all felt what you're feeling and we've come to terms with it' like this could either - again - mean just that 'we didn't exactly like doing bad things but as bad guys it's our job to' but then i thought ... what if they also experienced a similar situation of mistreatment by their good guys and npcs ? what if they still experience that ? but it's just easier to deal with because they all have each other ? if bad-anon isn't just for 'im bad and that's good' but like the only place they find acceptance ?? bc like when ralph is walking home from pac-man's , the other characters he comes across say 'bad guy coming' like ??? do all bad guys experience this ??? but we just don't get to see it ??? ralph is the only one stopped by surge protector in the instances we see but who's to say the other bad guys don't get stopped on occasion too and we just don't see it ? or maybe they're let off easier bc they've 'accepted their place' . oh my god .
and at the end of the movie , ralph is treated better by the nicelanders , which is good ofc , but how are the other bad guys doing ??? if they've been through something similar , are they being treated better too ??? i sure hope so ... like maybe there was like some kind of meeting offscreen like 'hey can we stop outcasting bad guys for just doing their jobs please' idk ... i just have a horrible terrible feeling there's no way the other bad guys aren't facing or at the very least have faced similar discrimination . it's just easier to deal with bc they've had to forge a community to support eachother . because no one else will give them the respect after-hours . im sure someone else has mentioned this before idk i just need to get it out b4 i lose my mind
i could phrase this all more eloquently but i think i might just end up overthinking myself to death i tend to do that a lot
#wreck it ralph#wir#txt#i don't feel like making a separate post for my zilly rambling so i'll just put it here#hEgEheGEHe i LOVE THSO MOVEI SOCYCKING MYCH OHMUVOD i can't believe i haven't thought about it as much until lately#like i used to have the biggest hyperfixation on it for years after it came out ??? whatever better late than never#actually it's probably for the best i like didn't get into discussion or anything about it yet then . i was 7 . lol#istg there was this like ... ugh there was a mobile game and i rmemeber it being called wreck it ralph or maybe just the initials#but i swear all i rmemeber is there was just sugar rush you could play ... i don't rmemeber if you could be any other chars#but if you could i was only ever vanellope ... i remmeber really liking adorabeezle winterpop then tho#but anyway i definitely remember there was also in the same app like a little book ? summarising the movie or smth ?#and it would play like some voice lines and you could repeat them over n over again#'aw come on pal' and 'you better win' are engraved in my mind especially the latter 'you better win . you bet-you bet- you better win .'#i think the hyperfixation stopped when i got the fucking wii game for christmas one year lmao i was SO disappointed#LIKE HOW DO YOU FUCK UP SUCH A COOL CONCEPT OH MY GOD#actually it was probably bc i just started hyperfixating more on something else ... i think it was either mlpfim or tlm idk#what was the point of all of this rambling again i forgot
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LOZ Fic Recs
Deciding to use my hobby of autistically crawling through AO3 tags for good. I'm prioritizing fics with less than 50 kudos. None of these are ship fics, most don't have any romance. All of these are completed one shots, most under 10k words.
Skies, Surfaces, and the Hero Chef That Can't Actually Cook by greatduwangs
Summary: Link's cooking sidequest in Skyward Sword, which goes about as well as you'd expect. Or, the missing ingredient was a home all along, or whatever.
Why I recommend it: 4.5k of Link eating things he shouldn't. Very funny and very cute!
Big Dark by phlyarologist
Summary: Character study of Mido as the events of Ocarina of Time change him, worldbuilding the Kokiri and examining what it means to grow up.
Why I recommend it: Contender for the best LOZ fic I've ever read. Brilliant worldbuilding and characterization, and a fantastic understanding of childhood and its nuances that you rarely see outside of fiction aimed at children.
loop - synonyms: coil, noose, ring, circle by MidnightBunnyy
Summary: Fi gets stuck in a timeloop and is very... well, Fi about it.
Why I recommend it: Excellent Fi characterization that leads to a very funny take on a time loop scenario while still being a serious story.
Notes: Restricted work, only available to AO3 users.
A Legacy Cast in Stone by sagittamoth
Summary: Pre-Skyward Sword Sheikah worldbuilding following an OC who works with the robots and timeshift stones in the last days before the war.
Why I recommend it: Does a great job with worldbuilding, creating a vibrant world that slots neatly into the greater Skyward Sword canon.
missing by fandomsandshit
Summary: Drabble exploring Zelda's time in the dungeon.
Why I recommend it: Does a brilliant job painting fear and an oppressive atmosphere, with stellar Zelda characterization.
Growth by herohelio
Summary: Two connected snippets of Malon in the adult timeline, meeting Link again.
Why I recommend it: Adorable Link and Malon friendship and great Malon characterization, with very effective hints at what living under Ingo had been like.
Because each time we live by grainjew
Summary: Follows Link through ALTTP, written through the lens of the reincarnation theory with a focus on connection to the wider LOZ series.
Why I recommend it: Author described it as a 'mood piece', which it absolutely is and is very good at. I like the surreal and blurry way reincarnation is portrayed in this fic, and it has a great take on the maidens.
Blind and the Bunny by justAPassingThought
Summary: A character study of Blind the Thief through his defeat in the Thieves’ Hideout Dungeon.
Why I recommend it: Excellent exploration of the Dark World and the way its transformations work, and I really like Blind's view on Link's Dark World form.
Litany of Betrayal by RawLiverAndCigarettes
Summary: A foreign warlord swears fielty to the king of Hyrule. Impa knows what the stranger truly wants. She has seen it before. She can still taste the ash.
Why I recommend it: Fantastic character study of Ganondorf and Impa in Ocarina of Time. Everyone is horrible and I'm thriving. Incorporates Hylia into the OOT canon in a way I find actually interesting. Fascinating worldbuilding in general.
Notes: Prequel to a novel-length fic I have not read (I'm terrible at reading long fics rip).
that gentle hubris by cassiopeian
Summary: Zelda bares her soul at the Spring of Wisdom, but the answers she seeks do not come from a goddess.
Why I recommend it: Mipha and Zelda friendship, a fun take on Zora mythology and I always love mortals forging their own paths in worlds where gods are objectively real.
Hunger by Anonymous
Summary: Sequel to Grace, where Zelda struggles to reckon with perceptions out of her control. Link is there to help point out what she's missed. Can be read as standalone.
Why I recommend it: Autistic Zelda, queerplatonic zelink, and a great portrayal of the hunger that comes with trauma.
Notes: Sequel to a fic that is also very good.
As Above, So Below by Mothlight_Witch
Summary: An exploration of the Depths and Hyrule's cosmology.
Why I recommend it: The other contender for 'best LOZ fic I've read'. Astounding atmosphere and worldbuilding, incredibly unique and all-around breathtaking. Lives in my head rent free.
What is your wish? by AdeptArcanist
Summary: Character study of Vaati connecting him to Link's Awakening and Majora's Mask.
Why I recommend it: Very weird and unique take on LOZ lore and I'm so incredibly here for that.
Linner (Link Dinner) by waterglider
Summary: An adaptation of one of Zelda's diary entries set after the "Blades of the Yiga" memory. After a very irritating person saves her life, Zelda has developed a theory-- one she plans to test.
Why I recommend it: Zelda is kinda mean and Link is a monarchist bootlicker. I adore this take on pre-Calamity Link, he's genuinely insufferable and I love that. If I ever end up writing pre-Calamity Link I'm so stealing this characterization.
Notes: Sequel to another stellar fic, prequel to an in progress novel-length fanfic that I have not read (again, terrible at reading longer fic).
#If I remember/find more I'll make another post#Not an exhaustive list of every LOZ fic I've ever liked btw#There's a few omissions from this list#Mostly a couple of f/f ship fics I decided not to add bc I just didn't want to deal with ship fic rn#Might do some more trawling and make a separate f/f ship fic rec list. Depends if the aromanticism cooperates#There's also a glaring lack of marin fic recs which is mostly bc I'm SOOOO picky about her#Mostly I love it when other ppl's interpretations of things are different from mine but im annoyingly territorial about marin#That said there are def some fics I liked in spite of this and could rec that i didn't#Would just like to read some of the fics I've been putting off on reading#20k Link's Awakening retelling by midnasass you haunt me#And long marin-centric character study by deuynndoodles I will read you eventually I promiseeeeeeee#My posts#Anyway in case it wasn't obvious I hate romance and love LOZ worldbuilding (ESPECIALLY if it's weird) and character studies#Especially when the characters suck#If u have more of those send them pls thank u#Oh wait another notable exception is the minish cap zelda character study I read that was good and deserves attention#But unfortunately its tagged unreliable narrator when it's not an unreliable narrator and that's my BIGGEST pet peeve#I'd be unable to stop myself from being pedantic about it. I'm unable to stop myself rn#So that's why it's not on the list sorry. Maybe one of these days I'll get over myself
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So, now that Blood of Zeus has also been given its chance to tell the Demeter/Persephone story (and also, similarly, fundamentally misunderstood the themes of the Hymn to Demeter) can we finally, finally talk about Mother Love?
Because I can scream until I'm blue in the face about how modern, popular interpretations of the myth have become so focused on being 'empowering' to women by fixating on giving power to Persephone in her marriage with Hades and, in turn, disparaging Demeter, another woman, - the mother who grieves her lost daughter - that they've some how spun all the way around and gotten back to being misogynistic and reductive, but I feel like talking nebulously about the fact that it's Demeter and Persephone's story and not Hades and Persephone's story never gets the point across hard enough. So:
Anyone who was upset about Demeter's demonisation in Blood of Zeus S2? Read Mother Love. Anyone who is ever upset that retellings of the Homeric Hymn to Demeter constantly demonise, belittle, accuse and insult Demeter and her grief while making excuses to redeem and forgive her daughter's captor? Read Mother Love. Anyone who likes Hades and Persephone as a romantic tale but yearn for complexity outside of arbitrary romantic antagonists impeding the happiness of the couple? Read Mother Love!! Everyone who has even a passing interest in this tale whether it is for the romance, the mother-daughter connections, the themes of grief and loss and eventual comfort and compromise, the wrath of the mother transgressed, the justice that is served due to a mother's insistence in an unjust society, READ MOTHER LOVE!!!
Because it pains me that such a perfect retelling of Demeter and Persephone's story exists, that it focuses on the mother-daughter relationship by comparing it with the poet's own relationship with her mother and it is nearly obscure in the greek mythology community.
#greek mythology#ginger rambles#ginger chats about greek myths#hades and persephone#demeter and persephone#hades#persephone#demeter#poetry#rita dove#More people need to read this poem anthology#blood of zeus#boz#I swear I will not stop in my endeavour to have more people know about the best retelling of Demeter and Persephone's story that exists#I realise I haven't described at all what Mother Love is#I'll make a separate post for that#But I'm so sick of y'all making Demeter a machiavellian supervillain in the story where she loses her daughter and grieves so hard#and forces the justice system to do something about it so she can get her daughter back#READ MOTHER LOVE I BEG YOU
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Your name is DAVEPETA… Strider-Leijon? Leijon-Strider? Leider? Strijon? You’ll HAVE TO THINK ABOUT THAT. You are the combination of a SICKNASTY COOLGUY, an ADORABLE CATGIRL, and some kind of BRAINLESS FEATHERY ASSHOLE. You were created as a BULLSHIT GAME ABSTRACTION that gave you ULTIMATE KNOWLEDGE OF PARADOX SPACE in a manner that could even be called EXPONENTIAL. But you have trouble remembering all of that stuff now. You dabble in a great many CREATIVE PURRSUITS, because to deny the world your delightfully earnest yet self aware visionary stylings would be a MOTHERFUCKING CRIME. You are an infamous user on several ROLEPLAYING FORUMS. You record videos of yourself doing CUTE THINGS, which people believe are COSPLAY of your FURSONA. You have also recently started a brand new WEBCOMIC. Basically, you post a lot of shit online that is NOT VERY GOOD but that you pretend to believe is GOD'S GIFT TO MANKIND, because it is incredibly fun and also hilarious. Sometimes you miss the THRILL OF THE HUNT, but other times the idea makes you KIND OF UNCOMFORTABLE, so mostly you hunt stuff that’s ALREADY DEAD, which is fun too! You use the sanitized and preserved remains to create totally rad CORPSE ART, which is actually not ironic at all and is honestly KIND OF PERSONAL, so you mostly keep it to yourself. B33 < *you precede your sp33ch with a double mouthed kitty face in loving memory of your purrecious lusus but also she is wearing cool sunglasses because that would be pawsitively fucking radical*
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You live with your BROSUS, which is sort of like a lusus except he is actually a human guardian. He is basically the COOLEST GUY TO EXIST IN ANY UNIVERSE EVER, and you’re really happy he’s alive again, even though things can be COMPLICATED. You no longer live with THAT FUCKING PUPPET, which seems like it helps? Yeah, he’s still cagey and inscrutable and he leaves his SMUPPETS all over the apartment, which you hate because even though they are soft they are NOT CUTE, just WEIRD AND GROSS. But whatever. It’s BRO. You CAN’T STAY MAD AT BRO.
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After all, he gave his life for you once.
#I think a lot about davesprite never processing bro's abuse in the same way dave did#and having a really different perspective on him because of it#especially if you're a 'bro saved davesprite from jack' kinda guy#and then you get davepeta who still has that trauma but has one more layer of separation from it#anyways. i found this in my drafts and now it's getting posted#I'll reblog with some au info but i like this standalone writing#mostly i just love love love davepeta#homestuck#davepeta#davepetasprite#my writing#hmmmmm tags idk i guess that'll do#i wish i could do art i think this would go hard with some simple panels but oh well
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ALL(H)OURS Gotcha
actual kpop sideblog
#allhours#all(h)ours#allhoursedit#nugudom#kflops#malegroupsnet#kpopedit#*mine#flashing tw#my biggest complaint about them as a group is their stupid-fast mv cuts??? why do that??? they are pain!!!#literally everything else about the group is SO SO SO GOOD#one day I'll post numbers because they are my favorite group statistically (though not spiritually)#their inspirational groups are very very obvious but considering they're taking the best of svt and skz I genuinely cannot complain#I'm already champing at the bit waiting for the next comeback even though they just dropped one#genuinely so curious to see where they're going to go#I have so so so so so many feelings about them clearly I need to sit down and write them all out in a separate post
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jayvik epigraph I
You held to me like a lung to breath We collided head first Our lips never met but merged and though I've never kissed you I have tasted an eternity inside you with no moment wasted just once. (until air came between us)
aaand the song this made me think of, which might fit the longing vibe in these flashbacks? hm
#jayvik#arcane#viktor arcane#jayce talis#oscillate osculate orbit#still don't like that fic name but i like parts of it separately for my dear dear symbolism so welp#yes this is for a ridiculously ambitious fic i'll never finish or even post. yes another one. don't worry about it i'm doing great swear#gonna try to actually post my wips here sometimes instead of just. letting them clog my notebook and my miro and my docs and my brain and m#oh gods i'm unwell about them i fear#poetry#writely#Spotify
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KILL!!!!!!!!!
#my post#this is so mean. why did i make this#but also....... the gun is in your hands now#i'll admit that it's my fault for putting the gun in your hand... however i've no say in what you choose to do with it#will you pull the trigger and accept whatever happens from now on? will you give yourself into the role forced upon you?#no one will know anything if you don't say anything. there will be no consequences or repercussions to this choice#but you will know. and you will need to live with that knowledge for the rest of your life#a gun not fired is like an itch not stratched#in the end i have no control over what you do... but free will is a funny thing#the brain is very susceptible to suggestion... everything we see and experience will remain with us in some way#if that's the case then how much control do we really have in our lives? how do we separate what we really want vs what we're told to want?#things like hunger... desire... they're all things the body asks for. but are they things that we truly want?#or are they merely a mechanism built into us for the sake of survival?#everything blends into everything. your past actions will inform your current actions. you're the only one who's ever lived your life#you're the only one who will ever live your life#little variables and experiences we all share... but the order varies greatly from person to person. everything is just a series of events#the way i see the world is different than the way you see it regardless of how similar they are#what choice will you make now? and how does it differ from the choice you would've made a week ago? a month? a year? does it differ at all?#does free will truly exist? i think it does... but not in the way most people think it exists#you and i... we might differ on that thought. or we might not.#regardless of whatever i've been rambling about right now... refusing to make a choice is still a choice you make. life is ironic like that#does one of them really have to go? that's for you to decide now#i've merely chosen to put the gun in your hand. to make you aware of the possibilities#so i hope you realize what power your choices have#dca fandom#daycare attendant#yeah sometimes i just say things that i think are deep but they're really not#i hope the choices i make have an effect on others. even if it's just one person...#if i can make even just one person think about something they wouldn't have normally thought about then isn't that a win?#life is a series of choices... ''it'd be great if you could see a figure of light by the time you die'' ♡
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I just want everyone to know that in the span of 3 days, I have made 3 loads of laundry, and have a 4th already sorted and ready to go (which includes towels / blankets / bedding). I still need to fold them and put them away BUT the important part is done 🥹
#once i out them all away i need to wash my plushies too but i'll leave it for next weekend#the laundry situation was bugging me A LOT. almost ran out of socks#why is laundry the most arduous and daunting of house chores? even dishes are much easier to get through#that post about making coffee in a million steps really resonates with me#because that's what doing laundry feels like. it's not just “wash clothes and put them away”#it's gather all dirty clothing in one place -> double check my “in use” clothes to see what also needs to be washed -> separate by colour#put on the washer -> take off the washer -> check if the clothesline is empty (and empty if not)#put them on the clothesline to dry -> empty the clothesline -> bring them to my room -> sort and fold -> put away -> rinse and repeat#many many steps. putting them outside to dry takes so long and so much energy out of me ugh#(no we do not use dryers here. that's not a thing. also i've had the experience back in the uk and while very convenient#it wears the fabric down so so much. clothes nowadays are made so flimsy and terrible quality#and using a dryer ruined a few of my favourite shirts. i do miss having warm sheets straight away tho)#but yeah. adult does basic chore whomp whomp (it's hard. i get it. you get it. i'm proud of myself and everyone else who has done A Task)#darya talks to herself
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When Helios sacrifices himself, his frame disintegrates as he is falling into the sun, but his spark merges with that of the stellar colossus that has been chasing him under Carbonlight's mind-control.
The other two starformers have been defeated moments prior. Suryasekhar followed right after, but not before daring a glimpse into Helios' life as it was coming to an end. It offered one last bit of comfort in their shared mind-space, before Cybertron's sun claimed them.
#oc stuff#transformers oc#helios (oc)#suryasekhar (oc)#part 4 of the “this needs to be a separate post” saga but this time only because it's about helios#(not to scale)#the starformers are a bit larger than primus and unicron due to them evolving into stars and not planets/planetoids/moons#one day I'll do them justice but not today#had to take a photo due to technical difficulties and it's bad but not much worse than the og drawing#their poses were based on one of those meme redraw thingies
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Idk why there's disbelief over Mark S/Helly in terms of motivation. Helly is just as capable of cruelty and selfishness as Helena. They are at the core of it, the same person with different memories/experiences. They can be two perspectives worthy of indulging their own dreams and desires and also be the same person. Narratively here especially, this isn't about morality, it's about human nature.
Helly was never cruel, sure, of course. Helly felt like she was the same as the other people in MDR. But Helly has something right now that she never even achieved as Helena. Someone who loves her. Someone who is choosing her. Helly is Winning over Helena here.
Jame Eagen wanders down just to be a freak and reinforces the reality of it. Helly is "More" than Helena, hasn't been worn down by the weight of experience and the world (and their cult and corporate bullshit). She still has, in some way, the innocence of youth and lack of experience with the world. She doesn't have the same fears and burdens or triggers as Helena in her conscious experience. She still has the ability to express her passions and outrage and defend herself. And to love and not feel sorry for it.
Severance gave Helena a chance to exist without the learned perspectives and burdens of the Eagens and she is able to be free with herself and her passions and desires-- whereas Helena was likely drained of any dreams for potential beyond a strictly guided future decades ago.
Of course Helly is feeling a rush of joy and satisfaction over Mark loving her. Mark choosing her. She tried to do the "right thing" by being logical with Mark. "I'm her." Even outside of Lumon, if they bring it all down, there's no hope for an Eagen and an ex-severed employee in reality. In the Real World they will never be together. Mark couldn't love Helena, how could anyone love an Eagen? (Poor Helly really with like, the enemy is within etc, but that's kinda the situation framed by Lumon for everyone by setting the stage with your Innie isn't human kinda rhetoric.) (This was also reinforced by Helena trying to get close to Mark to see if he still had feelings or chemistry with her and finding out they were not going to work outside Lumon.)
What if the equator is a building that could be a continent? Can be their whole world? They're choosing to live Now. Together in the present despite knowing that with their half lives, they could be brought to an end at any moment. It's very willful young love of them. And why wouldn't it be? This is their First Love. They haven't even been "alive" that long or have any memory of romance beyond their current infatuation. They don't know the world or it's places, and maybe that's okay, maybe they can exist in this space so long as they have love and the others.
It's completely human for Helly to accept Mark choosing her. To run to him just to see him for maybe the last time. It's human for Mark S to run to Helly. It's human for poor Gemma, who doesn't even know her fucking husband is severed, to be pounding on the door.
But this is their Final Day to Mark and Helly. Maybe the very end of their world. It's Judgement Day. Of course they'd have them holding hands and running back to the unknown to face the end together. To die together.
There is also zero fucking chance Mark Scout would risk his life and brain continuing reintegration once his wife is back. Mark Scout is going to choose his wife. Mark is choosing Love on both sides here.
All of it is reasonable.
#this is true for all the innie/outie combos like#lets not forget theyre the same person. yes they are also separate and deserve to be respected in their experiences#in my mind theres a post credit scene of Devon dragging Gemma to a car and them driving to a secure location bc I can't live otherwise#unfortunately the severed floor is literally their world. has been all this time. all they know by design.#anyway. selfishness is so normal to the human experience and motivation. survival. love. growth#im going to be thinking about platos cave allegory stuff now actually. ough#anyway its 3am and this is all i can thnnk about#personal q#severance spoilers#read more bc mindless brain ramble got long#i love all the characters in this show I hope hope hope Gemma gets a focus in S3#i actually loved the reintegration bits but narratively it would change some of the themes more at this time#theyd have had to make full reintegration the only way for mark to save gemma to make it happen#i need gemma to get so much therapy and care. lumon better not touch her ever again im really so serious#im going to be emotionally devastated ny Mark turning for months#good news fucking up cold harbor probably means that whatever fuckery Jame had planned for Helena/Helly is probably also fucked#could you imagine tho if we actually get fresh 'severed' personas for them if Lumon abducts them all to a compound somewhere#if s3 starts like Just Another Day in the Office I'll scream#I'm starting to wonder if this whole draining the tempers experiment thing#is about being able to provide them for others as a rejuvenation thing now actually aha just from writing this#i think using Helly Wasnt Cruel to try to contain her character is very infantilizing like theyre not children they're striped of knowledge#and of experience#this is all very is love stored in memory or the soul etc. do the people in the cave want to leave the cave when the shadows on the wall ar#the only representation of reality they've ever known#this show is just like art/literaty analysis of themes its so pretty and tragic and terrible#severance#sorry added for the mutuals who dont need to see my taste in tv on my supposed gaming blog#idk a lot of this season was also helly spreading the concept of division from outie persona stuff which makes sense for her#but then getting to look back at gemma and see maybe an outie as a person etc too like. ough
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2024 Purge (Part 3)
A whole Three-Parter for 2024! Damned very completely took over my brain and I made so many many doodles about it haha <3 Also ft. Helix and SCII generally, and a few other cursory Damned-style things :)
Little mini ZEX walk cycle from his Kissing Strangers meme ♥ He’s so cute, wobbling around on these weird new legs, not used to using these stiff arms to assist him back up!
Floorplans!! Of the Vyer Estate, I unfortunately don't know the layout/room configuration of estates or mansions very well haha, so I kinda just guessed at what kind of structure the house would have - I could've looked up blueprints, but the foyer is such a strong image in my head that every other room kind of fell off around it lol - though I still oscillate between seeing the stairs in the frontmost room or to the sides, hmm
Many many speculations, including the outer spaces, yard out front and in back, what all is within their fencing, if its built on a slab or foundation, if there's a crawlspace or cellar or full basement, ahh, so many possibilities! You can see in the left full-view I mistakenly put Dex's room on the first floor lol, both his and Max's room are explicitly described as being upstairs, on a separate floor from the kitchen. Very important! But where is the master bedroom...? The two on the right are kind-of both of the same thing; the platform at the top of the foyer double stairs, and the room beneath it that leads outside to the back garden - I moved the dining room around here and there, it would be nice to open up the back doors and have a dinner party able to go in and out I think :)
Going a bit more granular, made some temps for Max's room specifically - he hangs out there a lot, it's important! Even pulled out my grid paper for this one haha, fun to have an actual floorplan kind of look with tile-spaced everything! Very Sims, quite fun. I do like the idea of him having a window seat, but he's also described as standing in front of his windows so that probably wouldn't be the Only type he'd have hmm
On the topic of the Sims, I ended up making the three mockups in the Sims 2 as well! I do like this one - I was especially surprised that Max was even able to get to the bed! I thought the dresser would be in the way but no, it’s all walkable :D Very pleased. Not fully satisfied with the placement of his en suite tho, would it encroach into his room itself, or be tucked into a wall...? I kind of like that idea of that :0
The double bay windows is maybe a bit much, but I mean. Idle rich lol. At one point he’s looking out the window and then backs Dex up against a wall, but Which wall hmmm, must align room layout with seduction attempts, very important
Switching entirely over, you might remember the card I posted of Stanley, and the small mention of having made a matching card for the Narrator... I may have made significantly more than just that lol, I can't help it!! The Damned structure is wonderfully made, it invites creative speculation and idea generation at a nearly alarming rate! I commend the game builders for their craft. So I made a bunch of the faces I'd want to see at the institute lol, I love duos the most-most, so picking a pair from several of my favourite pieces of media was just ahh! Yes!
Apaultheosis and Emma seemed like a particularly fun match :D Would that make Paul his "real" counterpart...? I mean, it says Matthew right there lol, but would he just act like Paul? Would be doubly weird if Paul-proper showed up while the Apotheosis was out swanning around haha, Apaultheosis really seems like the right level of "belongs in an institute" to have a lot of fun with :) And if it's my immune-Emma AU in particular, Emma's already used to having to be around a bunch of weirdos haha
The LAC boys!!! ♥ Making everyone's little background was a lot of fun too - yellow for the TSPs, blue splotches for the Hatchetfield duo, little devil trappings for these two :D Such fun! It was also very fun to write up everyone's little personalities in simple phrasing, really break them all down to their core characterizations haha. Helps with not pushing them too far one way or another too! Would they do any given thing because [trait]? S'fun!
Weird Duo, the Watchers pulled from And the Universe Shifts - the explorations of villains having to put up being on the same side as/having to get along with heroes really makes for an interesting examination of how they'd go about doing that! These two are still absolutely insufferable, but they're also trying to escape! It's interesting :0 Also casual headcanon of how the institute would deal with enby/trans characters, possibly something I've had a lot of thoughts about lol
Last fanduo from the first batch - all of these were made over the course of like, two days, if that lol, I was very excited about this idea - I genuinely love how anime/JRPG characters are usually given fake names also in Japanese, it's very fun :D I only did so halfway for Nova's since she's only ever had the one kind of anglicized personal name, no family name - could she also be a kid from Jersey? Such mysteries haha. She also probably wouldn't have her hair clips during the day unfortunately :P But I couldn't resist drawing them, she's not her without them! The Watchers get their masks, give my girl her barrettes!
Back to Helix, more short-haired Max! I do like this one but I also thought the pose was silly so I held off on it haha, he looks cute with short hair! <biased towards Max generally
Another one that was too silly to put anywhere haha, ZEX being attacked by an invisible Kayako - Teisel is very confused at your inexplicable reactions, Admiral!
Normally I wouldn't post my studies, partially because they're mostly for my own benefit, to better understand how to draw a character, and also because I am usually very ❤️💕💖💞💗 in my commentary lol, as evidenced. I was excited to see him!! Especially in the institute uniform!!! <3 I'd doodled him a couple times as such but Seeing it, ahh <3 <3 So cute, wonderful ♪♫
Max! Another half-study, frog mouthed boy <3 Goofy floofy lad, love him <3
And another! This time of him being teary-mad, gosh he's adorable no matter what he's up to
Hehe <3 A particularly silly one in reaction to Dexter having arm-pinned him on the floor - how different certain things look in hindsight, through the lense of a crush, hm?
Talanaaaa ♪ In actuality she removed her shirt, but how cute would it have been to tie it up at her side instead ahhh
Lovestruck Zelnick, totally listening, mmhm <3
The silliness continues! Was thinking about the little pink bits at the end of VUX tendrils and how I've sometimes seen them speculated as also being little tongues? I'm still not sure what I think about it! It is good and potentially creepy I think, but would they taste? Would they be as dexterous? Hmmm, thoughts thoughts
A dandelion for the sunshine Captain <3
There he is! The sunniest boy of them all! Sweetest sweet lad ♥ Love him :)
Speculating ZEX plushie stuff still - going over the construction of his uniform, possibly as part of his body, possibly as something to dress him in so he can be fitted into other clothes as well :0 I'm still considering the tail slot, but probably only for uniform-as-body - otherwise, laying his tunic overtop his tail would probably be the easiest all the way around. I do like VUX with short tails too tho, hmm, how to make it visible... On the right are a few more detail ideas :D Different eye styles, what would be embroidered vs. sewn together etc. - I considered felt medals and badges, but I really think embroidery would have the prettiest result! Even my notes say so haha, that and where to put weighted pellets in place of fluffy stuffing :)
Speaking of plush 👀 Ahem
An alternate Strawberry Blond panel, ZEX pulling him up fully to look at him hhh I love him <3
And also touching him a bit, what is this feeling DAX is feeling! ZEX has some ideas :3c Though when doesn't he lol
More DAX expressions! Angy and owie, they do tend to go hand-in-hand, poor lad got well-knocked around and he still ended up the least injured of the three!
Rando icons, I can't help myself ♪ This uniform has its hooks in me, is it the ominous smiley face's bright yellow on boring grey, the contrast, the sameness?? I just like it! Was a fun small and simple thing to pull together :)
I actually started this set somewhat early on, speculating what DAX's MU scene might be, but never ended up with anything solid - since he wasn't there initially, it's hard to think of what would be a fitting torture for him, apart from what Was there i.e. having to watch what ZEX went through :( That does seem like it'd leave some pretty massive mental scars on him - always always always unable to save him in the moments where it really counts! :'0 But it doesn't do anything to his Body, and that's supposed to be the point of MU! I do still like many things here, DAX's offer of self-sacrifice being rejected and him being powerless to do anything else
And the way I used hashmarks to imply his eyes going fuzzy with them both open and the stress - looks like a pause symbol haha
Also a big fan of the little corner doodle being so cute and wholesome, the two of them excitedly circling each other, excited to see each other! I love-loved that so much in their meeting <3 <3
Then there was that one time DAX and DAX met, that was fun :) If only ZEX had shown up, then what would DAX do! Self-defense in a way hehe, that's one way of getting on the same side haha
The raw doodle that eventually became Get Out of the Way! For as sad a way as it was to go out - failing to be protected, the last of his allies, not even able to wield his own weapon effectively - it does still remind me of a silly quote. Those dogs were indeed very nasty!
A temp doodle of Dexter holding both Max's clothes and ZEX's uniform after his "discharge" (;;) from the institute, the only things he has left to hold onto 💔 So very little left of him :(
I at one point asked smol who she’d put in the institute for funsies and she picked Maison Talo, and so I tossed Apaultheosis at him - they do both consider humans as prey! Just, a bit differently lol. Would the Apotheosis even be able to convert a Realtor by their lure? Where does the goo need to be to start to take effect, many questions
Stanley Icons <3 It's only fitting that my first choice for a card gets his own set of reactions! Icons like these are actually really fun to make - pulling around from my doodles, slapping a bit of colour overtop, edits to screenshots (Stanley's "Dead" reaction is probably my favourite of those, I'm sure y'all can guess which ending I pulled from lol) - and it all has me tempted to make a few more...
Back to Just-SCII! More Baby VUX!! 💖 They're so cute!!! Just little guys, adorable <3 Casual clothing and PJs and having to tie one's sash back on haha, all those complicated loops and knots :)
Also some muscle/arm shape speculations of how VUX armtips might change based on what they're doing, the roundedness of recoiling is very funny to me haha
Obviously had to make these two's versions in TS2 as well, the most fun <3 “What brings you in today, Mr. Vargas?” “That’s doctor.” “Oh, sure, right.”
More of the Doctor meme! Poor DAX haha, certainly sick with Something ♪
I think the lyric is “three times a day”? But what three times a day, that's the real question lol. ZEX has his own suggestions hmm :) I do like their hug in the first one hehe, so cute <3
Totally all better! Definitely nothing would make his symptoms flare up again!
Poor DAX <3
Digitized Dr. Doran! He really is so tiny haha, it was fun using Wander's colour scheme, mostly filled out already! The institute's dress code for staff is a mystery; presumably some of the therapists wear medical/professional clothes, but then there's Stein who still has the screw in his head - surely they'd allow jeans, right? Or is that where they draw the line lol. Look it's fine, he's meant to be the Approachable Therapist, he gets special allowances, totallyyy
All two Locked In doodles that didn't make the cut but also have nowhere else to go lol - there’s a few dozen concept sketches that haven’t been written into complete scenes yet that I'd love to post as their own sets! At some point!! Poor Oz is so put out, and Leah's big goofy grin, very silly hehe - that one's just meant to show off her outfit! It's winter, no bare legs here!
As a bonus to make up for those being the only two doodles, here’s Ozzy and Thrax in TS2 failing to get along lol. Oz! You're not good enough friends for that yet! Will they get there someday? :3c
VUX snuggles <3 Love the them so very much ♥
This is one I really want to digitize to get them a little more cosplay-accurate, but I'd been going back through some nostalgic AMVs and had the sudden realization that KuroFai, being one of my fairly early/influential ships on my heart, and now they...
Fai even loses an eye, I jfdlskafdlhfdf
Finishing out with my last set of cards, I had to make the two leads from SAOA, truly a masterwork in abridging <3 They're just such fun characters! And it's not like they're not already used to being trapped somewhere that constantly risks their lives :'0 I love them, I swear! Good things for them!
#Doodles#Damned#Long Post#Ahh!!! Three for three!!! None of the art purges broke this year!!! Yeah!!!! Technically goal accomplished even tho there were more doodles#Just gotta split it up enough!#This one definitely earned its own separate sketchdump For Sure#With the amount of energy and attention and enjoyment all paid its way I mean#Not much else To Do about it haha#So many aspects! The SCII aspects - so wonderful to read ZEX and Zelnick especially-especially <3 <3#They are my favourite-favourites so very much so wonderfully written ♥#Truly an experience I'll never forget <3#But also the game itself! Its structure and everything that went into making play possible!#Framework terribly important to loam the soil to be grown in!#Absolutely something I admire so deeply - something I've wanted to do in some way another for years!!#Met me at the right moment :) Couldn't ask for more <3 But am still getting it! Huah!!! 💕💖💞 Spoiling me!#To take it to a slightly calmer place lol - had a lot of fun with So Many ideas here#Helix and SCII and Locked In and the original and new Damned and my cards and icons ahh#It's truly so inspiring :D My favourite!#Much fun to talk about at length :) I'm sure I still have more to say lol#As usual there are many links to go through - they were a bit of a pain to insert because of the aforementioned not-quite-breaking!#Please click on them!#These kind of turn into mini-masterposts huh :0#Maybe I will look into making a few masterposts here and there#Also I don't know why but some posts aren't showing up in the tag#Only the older ones all the latest ones from the last couple months are there but the rest >:/#They show up in the archive/Damned tag but not if you're just scrolling! The heck#The consideration of a masterpost is only more appealing if the tags are going to be so unreliable and uncooperative!#But as long as they're all here or findable in their own right I'm pleased enough ahh <3 Fun fun
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Less of a script review for BOO TO A GOOSE, and more scattered thoughts/praise for Reece's performance, because I read it this morning, then re-watched the ep/read along & watched THE READ back-to-back this afternoon, so he's all I can think about right now sorry.
Earlier in the week I listened to Three Bean Salad's Film Corner (review) on A COMPLETE UNKNOWN, and at the start they go off on a tangent about the name Gerald:
Ben: In my family at the moment, somebody is going to be having a baby, and they asked their young daughter if she would like to help with coming up with a name for the new baby (Mike: Great shout), and she was very strident in saying yes, she wanted to name the baby, and that it should be called Gerald. (Mike and Henry laugh) Which it turns out is the name of a giraffe, I think, in PEPPA PIG? (Mike: Yep) But that's how they got there. Mike: Oh, wow. Henry: And has that been–oh, thank God she wasn't a TRANSFORMERS fan - Optimus. (Mike and Ben laugh) Ben: "Gerald" though. I mean, it's not a bad name, but it– (Henry: Gerald) you're kind of on track, sometimes, with what your life is going to be like, if you're called Gerald. (Henry: Yeah) Mike: You can try to sex it up with "Gerry", can't you? Ben: Oh, that's true! Yeah. "Gezza"? (Mike: Gezza) Henry: And if it's a losing battle, fact is, you're called Gerald. You're going to be clad in cardigans from the age of fourteen. (Mike and Ben laugh)
And that's me going off on a tangent to say this basically loomed over me a bit while reading the script lol

Something I don't think I was paying very much attention to during the first watch, was Reece's performance. He had a lot funny lines & line deliveries, of course, but he seemed almost too subtle compared to the other actors?
Knowing the twist and rewatching since (I've lost count on how many times I've rewatched this episode tbh, I was quite obsessed when I first watched s9/the show), his performance reads so differently - especially during the scenes where Edith confronts Gerry & the second voting scene/ending - he knows what's about to happen but can't say anything.
THE PARTY'S OVER mentions he changed "The lady doth protest too much, me thinks" to "The lady doth protest too much, me thinks – Shakespeare", but turns out he also ad-libbed here:


And here:

And here:

Subtle but effective additions/changes. I just can't get over how good he is in this, especially in the company of excellent actors/performances all around.
#in9#inside no 9#inside no. 9#in9 scripts#boo to a goose#reece shearsmith#three bean salad#three bean salad podcast#depending on which ep it's paired with i hope to post more about btag when it comes up in round 3#(finally doing a separate tag for the scripts. i'll go back to tag the other posts later)#vagueeyes.txt#edit: damn ANOTHER typo. corrected
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Sparkstember Day 16: Gratuitous Sax & Senseless Violins (When Do I Get To Sing "My Way")
So, well, what an era this was, right. Comeback of the century! Gratsax just has that certain *something*. It's brilliant! One of the best albums ever made if you ask me. The fully electronic style is so perfect for Sparks and they just do it here like it's nothing and like they've been at it for many years. Of course there's the hiatus that took place in the years before it to keep in mind but even then, this album is a HUGE accomplishment and an incredible standout in a catalog of releases that's already full of standouts of all sorts. And it's definitely a personal standout for me too, thinking about how it's been almost a year since I first heard it really freaks me out! It was such a different time for me I feel like, but many things are also exactly the same as back then. It's weird to feel nostalgic about it now but there's really no better word to describe what this feeling is like exactly.
I think this album is meant for vinyl listening in a way. It just fits it so well!! And it's not just the quality to the sound that it has this way (and I don't mean that it sounds necessarily "better", more like just, different and that somehow complements the music even more), but also the ability to have an actual good view of this wonderful album cover that's among my top favourite Sparks things ever. So cool looking! So funny and memorable! One of the finest instances of the music sounding exactly like what the cover looks like. (and learning that the cover is a homage to a SPECIFIC magazine rather than just tabloids in general, that only made it more amazing because it really does look so alike, stuff like this is really cool to me for whatever reason lol)
Also I like the fact that I bought this silly little "disco" lamp around this time last year, so plugging it in for extra vibes during listening makes it all just kind of perfect. And another thing on the visual aspect of it all: this is such a good era for music videos, they're all SO GOOD! Some of my very big favourites for sure and the My Way video might really be one of the best music videos EVER MADE.
But ok, let's get to the point now. Something that stood out to me right away is that every song here is so unique but they fit together so well anyway (not first instance of such thing happening either). There's really lots of variety! I also remember this album fondly because of how it was the first one I listened to with my parents and when my Sparks obsession truly started to become one of the most noticeable things about me to other people, lol. But finally feeling more free and confident with sharing my favourite things that mean so much to me with others is such a wonderful thing anyway, I'd even argue that it helped me live my life more fully than before! And yeah, it's mostly a remark they (my parents) made, that this album nails the balance between keeping to a certain style and offering something new with each song. It's such a wonderful journey!
Alright, once again getting carried away a bit here even though I had no ideas earlier for what to say today. Highlights time then, which is also a bit of a problem because besides one special favourite this album has no spectacularly outstanding highs or any lows, it's all just equally amazing. But I'll try anyway, as I always do.
Favourite songs (and other highlights):
When Do I Get To Sing "My Way": my parents absolutely love this song and well, I do too. No suprise that it's among their most beloved and well-known songs, it really has it all, and it's one of Ron's very best when it comes to lyrics, without a doubt
Frankly, Scarlett, I Don't Give A Damn: so so atmospheric and special, I really like the vocal filter of sorts that's used here, it's just, so cool sounding all around!!
I Thought I Told You To Wait In The Car: this was my LEAST favourite at first but I grew to really like its unhingedness and the part with all "the CAR!!"s on top of each other is just peak of it all and funny as heck
Hear No Evil, See No Evil, Speak No Evil: one of my favourite of Russell's vocal performances! This one and Scarlett are a bit of a duo to me, both simply beautiful songs
Tsui Hark: I LOVE the sound of this one, the piano plus the synth and the spoken word lyrics make this kind of combo that makes it feel like I've already known this one for years and it's just... always existed (which is a term that will apply to a lot of 21st Sparks material anyway, so, that's something to look forward to)
The Ghost Of Liberace: such a big comfort listen to me, I just love this one, makes me feel so at home!!
Gratuitous Sax & Senseless Violins: shoutout to these too because I feel like they might be easy to overlook as these very brief pieces, but they're that extra element that just, really cements this album as a wonderful whole with something to unify all of it into this package of wonder of all sorts
...And then there's the many bonus tracks also, which I'll just mention briefly since I almost forgot about them and because, yeah. I love them all, but the closest to my heart are Love Can Conquer All, She's An Anchorman, She's Beautiful (So What), Mid-Atlantic & This Angry Young Man (Ain't Angry No More) ((and the RON VOCAL VERSIONS OF THEM)) and Katherine Hepburn (love the whole Christi Haydon EP (and Christi is so cool and awesome I need to say that too today) and I should listen to it more, the Boris The Spider cover is fun as heck also)
And now bonus video for no reason from (almost) a year ago, because again, the nostalgiaaaa. (Back when I didn't have a shelf for my record player yet so it took up half of the space on my desk lol)
#apologies for another longass post it WILL happen again#something poetic about making this drawing while drinking tea from my gratsax mug#also even though i already use an excessive amount of layers#this still taught me how important it is to do things on separate layers even if it might feel unnecessary at first#those shapes were not easy to deal with actually because of that#and I had to accept not being able to move them around much again to make the whole layout fuller and overall better oh well#i gotta say that this might be one of my fav days just because of how great it is to see others make stuff inspired by this album#so many cool ways to go about it with the tabloid-like cover i feel like#we're also reaching the point when i'm struggling again with the writeups on the day i post them bcs god doing two separate things at once#but i've decided that that's my FORMAT so i'm STICKING TO IT#and i hope i'll still be able to put something sufficient together for my three beloved 00s albums#they deserve it even more than anything else before them#sparkstember 2024#my art#goose monologues
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