#I'll be honest I barely remember some of these lol

[sinning-23]

please please please do different arcane/opla character's kinks???? (preferably some Jayce but yk-)

OMG I was just returning to arcane roots. Mind you I haven't seen the recent season (Im waiting for my mom and sister since we all watched dit together) UHH take these smutty lil kinky lil headcanona!

P.s For as much smut as i write I have the hardest time remembering the differences between kinks and fetishes BUT I think I got it down lol. Bare with me yall.

P.P.S. I'll make a part two with some more of these guys lol I started to draw a blank on a few and get burnt out but I want to provide QUALITY writing to y'all

Enjoy-

Silco

Yknow every time I come on this god forsaken app I find myself thirsting over dead midleages if not older men....

Ahem

Smoking and Begging I feel like would be two kinks of his. And like he already is a smoker so just translating that over to the bedroom....oof.

I feel like he's the type to smoke after or before, but like in a way that relaxes him even further? YK what I'm saying? Perhaps he'll even offer you some with a firm grip on your face while he blows smoke into your mouth, just before he kisses you.

I also think the begging gets him hot under the collar. Just the idea of his partner asking so desperately for release knowing he's in control of whether they're allowed to or not really does it for him. He's ruthless but sweet in the most deliciously contradicting way. Saying things like, " Begging is so unbecoming of you my dear," or "You can beg better than that, I thought you wanted to cum?"

Sevika

Sevika my belovedddddd <3 come home baby the kids miss you lmao. Sevika seems like the type to be down for a lot but also has her limits? One thing that really gets her going though is overstim/multiple orgasms. Please let her pull as many as she can from you its literally her favorite thing watching her partner come undone. She likes to see how messy you get and how your thighs tremble and shake, damn near tensing up from the strain.

She starts slow. Maybe two...then three more.....how bout we shoot for 4 to 5? SIx you say?! Alright, let's just say fuck it and go for 7.

"C'mon, you can give me one more. Thatssss it, let go."

Vander

This is a harworking, loving, family man okay. He doesn't have time for a lot...However, he definitely has time to just have you squeeze down on him with those hot, wet walls, simply existing. Ahhh yes the art of cockwarming in cwich he is an expert in. Hes a sneaky fucker too, taking time to just position you in front of him so he can slip his cock into you, just enjoying your warmth. No movement, just there, your back to his chest, pretending like nothing is happening behind the counter.

He especially enjoys the late nights, your bodies melted into one as you just sinkkkkk down on him, just adjusting to his length, fighting the urge to move as does he. Just that's part of the fun. Expect lots of soft gentled caresses as yout walls memorize him

Vi

Babygirls got a thing for hot chicks in uniform. Be in business attire, military, or otherwise, she loves it.

I mean, honestly, I was not hot about clean white button-downs tucked into fancy dress pants adorned by emblems of silver or gold. A nice neat hairstyle, no flyaways, very much office siren.

And please god don't let you have a snappy domineering attitude, telling her what to do, sexily taunting. Babygirl will be weak in the knees.

Jinx

I don’t think she’d have any kinks if I’m being honest. I see Jinx as a very experimental and fun but soft and vanilla lover. She enjoys being treated softly and gentle, especially in a moment of vulnerability like being intimate with a partner.

Viktor

I hate to be the one to say it but stalkings/knee highs and glasses… Yall HEAR ME OUTTT HEAR ME OUT! I know that sounds really bad but if you see the vision. I feel like Viktor is a lover of pretty things, patterns and decoration. The feeling of lace or tights under his fingertips, the thrill of being the one who gets to remove your glasses before you go down on him.

All is truly a treat in his pretty yellow eyes. Especially when it's his beloved and devoted partner. He takes his time with you treating you delicately as he pulls the fabric off your kneesocks away to reveal pretty legs he gets to you all the way up to the main prize. He likes taking his time unwrapping his gifts. His favorite part is discarding it all from your body. Or at the very least, making you do it.

"Strip." He hums, leaning forward as you shed layers of clothes with a smile.

Ekko

At first I was thinking that mmm Ekko doesn't have any really kinks. Maybe he’s more vanilla but then I got thinking…

Nah nah this guy..

He likes being bitten.

Oddly enough he wasn’t sure why when you had first done it on impulse, the two of you in one of your more intimate moments. You hand grazed his shoulder, only applying slight pressure before stopping yourself from going too hard but the sound it pulled form him. Gorgeous.

“D-Do it again. Please?” He asks, lifting a bit above your too see your glossed fucked our eyes.

“Bite you?” You reiterate, trying to read him and it’s nothing but pure lust and adoration.

“Baby, please.” He huffs, lulling his neck to the side, giving you access.

Please mark him up he really likes it.

[bonefall]

What are your thoughts on Crowfeather's Trial? I already know how you feel about my other least favorite super editions so I'm curious about your opinions on this one lol

I think at best it's just okay. Like...it feels like they're going "see!! We're holding him accountable!!" But then they just kinda...dont?? Like I didn't feel any differently about Crowfeather by the end than I did when I started. There's parts I like about it but overall it just fell flat for me

Like how am I supposed to like this guy when he's just constantly a dick?? he can't stand Harespring for some reason, there's a moment where he's like "I wish my son was dead" and when Nightcloud goes missing he barely gives a damn and doesn't bother to even try and look for her

Anyways I'll forever be mad that they gave this guy a whole super edition and he'll probably have the most dramatic death ever while Leafpool suffered her entire life (and afterlife) and got killed off screen. Hoping he gets jumped by rats and dies from infection

I'm not a big fan of it. It's one of the better written SEs and has a clear goal in mind, but every time I have to encounter it, it feels like it's sidelining the characters who actually deserve to be explored in favor of Crowfeather Sadboy Whinging.

Breezepelt has 12 books detailing how being mistreated by Crowfeather is making him worse, and showing that social alienation is pushing him towards the Dark Forest. Nightcloud was demonized by the old team even though they wrote Crowfeather deflecting all the blame of Breeze's behavior onto her, giving the new team a great opportunity to correct the mistakes of the old writers... and they decided to focus on Crowfeather instead.

And, mind you, they conveniently leave out massive details about how BADLY Crowfeather was abusing his child.

There's this one part of the book where he learns that Breezepelt broke his leg as a kid and he feels like shit for not remembering it, and it's supposed to be a big moment where Crowfeather realizes he was apathetic and careless. But he WASN'T just apathetic and careless. We see him TEACHING his child xenophobia in order to mock and offend Leafpool, smacking Breezepaw around for being 'rude' (the way Crowf always is), and screeching at him for having basic needs like hunger or rest.

Crowfeather WASN'T just a sad, sad boy who didn't pay attention to his kid because he was too busy pining over Dead Wife. What he did to Breezepelt wasn't just neglect; it was physical and emotional abuse.

The book DOES ultimately hold him responsible for how Breezepelt turned out, yes. But it doesn't properly focus on WHAT made Breeze come out the way he did. It wasn't genes, it wasn't Daddy Not Smile At Me. I can only assume the reason why they didn't address how ghoulish Crowfeather actually was is because they knew that being honest and direct about him abusing his child would make him unsympathetic.

Which is a problem, because, y'know, you can just make it Breezepelt's Trial and NOT have to thread that needle??

And furthermore... the book is trying to show Crowfeather addressing that he's kind of an asshole and moving on from it, earning deputyship as a reward for his growth, but what the book really demonstrates to me is that Crowfeather is a dickhead who actually shouldn't have ANY power at all. I don't understand why people would trust him or want him as their leader. I don't see any reason to think that he would be responsible with the lives of an entire Clan of people.

Before I hear clown shoes; if you think that means I "just don't like" that he would be an ""interesting leader,"" pile yourself back into the car with your 30 other jesters and drive away. I mean that it feels completely wrong that any character in-universe would look at the person who exists in Crowfeather's Trial, and say, "this is a person who would help me effectively rule."

What he does, all-book-long, is show that he's an emotionally unstable loose canon borderline incapable of self-reflection. Other characters have to directly tell him "you should try being less of an asshole" and "maybe be nice to your family sometimes?" while he comes up with bullshit reasons to seethe at every character who wanders into his line of sight.

I massively resent the fact that even Leafpool has to mommy his baby ass towards the end of the book. After he spends a good part of Po3 and OotS finding roundabout ways to snipe at her for not giving him exactly what he wanted. It falls on HER to be the one he can ask for advice on how to fix the family he treated like shit his whole life.

no that's not hyperbole she literally. textually. is compared to his mother.

and he can't even be gracious about it, he's instantly all huffy and offended, completely proving her point. Why the hell would anyone make this guy a deputy? The man needs TWO motherly figures giving him the exact same basic advice and a dedicated super edition before he adjusts his behavior even slightly.

(watch him get Boring Leader Syndrome the minute he inevitably becomes Crowstar, too)

Sooo, in a nutshell;

It's one of the better SEs. unfortunately.

Crowfeather is held accountable for being the problem in his own relationships, thank god

but it doesn't fully hold the actions we SAW in the main series books accountable, seemingly purposefully leaving out the worst things he did.

Another WC book where a male character gets an insane amount of sympathy and rewarding that female characters are NEVER deigned deserving of.

Should have been Breezepelt's story. I strongly dislike how Breeze's "redemption" was based on his shitty dad saying sorry. He deserved an actual character arc struggling with ever trusting WindClan again after they took his dad's judgement about him at face value.

Absolutely awful that Leafpool is killed between books and given a trial where they consider sending her to hell when they finally DO get around to showing how she died, while Crowfeather gets an SE about the whole world holding his hand so he can fix the family he broke in 5 easy steps.

Its biggest problem is that it is about a character whose actions you can go and read about. It doesn't deliver on the setup of 12 books of Crowfeather being an absolute git; it's a good story for the version of Crowfeather the new team seems to have created in their heads.

Doesn't stop me from manifesting him getting an infection and having a Sandstorm-tier disrespectful death in the upcoming series, lmao.

[freshbakedbreadstick]

No. 1 Party Anthem - Mikey Berzatto x F!Reader - Chapter One

Past!Mikey Berzatto x F!Reader

Carmy Berzatto x F!Platonic!Reader

Richie Herimovich x F!Platonic!Reader

Summary: You finally grab the bear by its ears and face it head on, despite all the unanswered questions. 

Warnings: All my fics are 18+ regardless of the content. Heavy spoilers. Mentions of self harm, grief, death, mental health issues, strained relationships, smoking.

Word Count: 3.1k

A/N: OMG thank you all for all the kind words and love ! ! ! I'm gonna b honest with you all, after i posted the prologue I completely logged out of my account for the week LOL I was SO nervous abt it and so I just left it alone 😭 but I'm back with the first official chapter ! Also, I am opening the taglist for this series, so please let me know if you want to be tagged ! Thank you to one of you lovely readers for asking about that ❤️ your comment was very appreciate bc tbh I completely forgot abt even considering making one 💀 thank u babes ily and I hope you all enjoy !!!

Taglist: @marysucks-blog

PROLOGUE / MASTERLIST

The rumble and honk of a car driving quickly down the street took you out of your thoughts. 

Here you were, once again, on the sidewalk and across the street from The Beef. This time, it was not some odd hour of the night but rather 4 o'clock in the evening. 

After tossing and turning all night long, you rose early that morning much to the insistence of your mom and dad, who were very much eager to get you to reunite with Natalie, with bags under your eyes and stiff joints. You trudged around the house, jumping at every small noise that somewhat resembled the notification sound of your phone, before finally giving up and plopping down on the sofa to send Sugar a text. 

'Hi Sugar, it's me. Nice to talk to you again. I'll swing by The Beef at around 4 if that's okay with you.' 

About 5 minutes later, a loud buzz made you drop a glass of water to the floor.

'Of course! I'm so happy to hear from you! I can't wait (:' 

You could feel a pit forming in your stomach as you read the message. You can practically hear the way her voice lifts in excitement as you read it. To make matters worse, the smiley face felt like it had a mind of its own and it was taunting you. It practically said 'Remember the good days? Remember how close you and Sugar were? Before everything happened?' 

With a shallow breath, you threw your phone onto the nearest soft surface and scooped the broken glass up with your bare hands.  

Your parents fussed around you all afternoon before you left. At first, they said it was to make sure you were okay with going over there but it became pretty clear that they were pretty much just making sure you weren't going to back out. While you understood why they were chasing you around like a chick chased their mother hen, you got tired of it really quickly.

"Mom, I'm serious, I'm okay!" You insisted, pulling your shoe on and pausing at the threshold of the front door. 

"Are you sure? Do you want us to come with you? How about you let us drive you-" 

"I'm fine!! I'm going now!" 

With a sigh, your mother glances at your father before nodding, "Alright honey, be safe." 

With a weak smile, you headed off. 

And now here you were, finding yourself halfway down the street and being honked at by someone in their car. 

Snapping back to the present after replaying your hectic morning, you jump at the realization that you were unconsciously halfway across the street and heading towards The Beef.

"GET OUT THE WAY!" The person in the car yelled, sticking their head out the window. 

You ran to the sidewalk and half slammed your body against the wall, chest heaving. You had no idea what took over you and made you move without thinking but here you are now, in front of the same place you vowed to never be at again after Mikey's death: The Beef.

"Fuck…" you murmured to yourself, trying desperately to catch your breath as you closed your eyes. 

Focusing on the sounds of tires on pavement and rustling leaves on trees, you took a breath. You counted from 1 to 100 and then back to 1 again. You then opened your eyes and counted 5 things you could see, 4 things you could touch…

With a hard swallow, you turned around, ready to walk to the front door now. It was past 4 now but from the messages you got earlier from Sugar, you knew that there was 'no rush' and to just 'come in the front door'. 

"I can do this, I can do this…" you whispered to yourself and lightly jumped in place, hyping yourself up. 

You pushed forward, rounding the corner of the wall and to the front door, when BAM! Some guy just slams into you. 

You fly backward, stumbling as you try your hardest to avoid falling onto the pavement. 

"Watch it, idiot!" Some guy in a high vis vest barks at you before marching away with a wrapped sandwich in his hand. 

You stare, mouth open in silent shock and confusion, unable to respond. If this guy had bumped into you about a year ago, you would have practically beat him up yourself. Mikey would've had to come out of the restaurant and drag you off the guy, laughing and cheering all the way. His strong arms would wrap around you and somehow lift you up and off, voice husky in your ear as he alternates between voicing good humored apologies to the guy who had the misfortune of being an asshole to you and murmuring about how hot you looked while you defended yourself.

But in this moment, all you could do was regain the little confidence you had and go back to the task at hand: walking in. 

You swallow before standing up straight, plastering on a faux confident but cool grin onto your face. With your head held high in a way that you used to do but doesn't feel like you anymore, you jam a fist into your pocket and use your other free hand to push the front door open and waltz in. 

Cooly, you scan the empty restaurant. It seems like the lunch rush was very much over by now and the last customer for a while before the dinner rush had crashed into you and left moments before. So now, it was just you and The Beef. 

"Give me one sec!" A loud and charmingly obnoxious voice yelled from the kitchen. 

Your facade slipped as you heard this voice. Instantly, your shoulders sagged as you let out a quiet but pained laugh under your breath. 

The booming voice of Richie got louder and louder as he came out of the kitchen and to the counter, "How can I help you-" 

He paused. You immediately stood up straight again, a wide and sly but fake grin spreading over your face. 

Richie blinked, frozen. His eyes were wide and mouth had dropped slightly open.

After a couple seconds, the awkwardness started to set in for you, prompting you to speak up, "Jesus, Richie, you look like you've seen a ghost." 

In an instant, Richie snapped back to reality with a grin on his face, "COUSIN!" 

You winced at the volume, apparently not being the only one as you heard a couple muffled groans and protests from the kitchen as well as someone saying "what?!"

Richie threw his arms out, wide, before dropping them and racing around the counter to you. With a laugh, Richie's arms enveloped you, squeezing tight. 

You stiffened up immediately, feeling bad for not reciprocating instantly like you used to do. But whether or not that bothered Richie, you would never know because as fast as he enveloped you in a hug, he pulled away. 

"Cousin, what the hell are you doing this side of the country, huh?!" He grinned and placed his hands on his hips. 

"Oh my gosh!" Another voice said. 

Your head whipped to see Sugar at the doorway to the kitchen. She clutched a clipboard in her arms but as both of your eyes connected, she let it fall to the floor with a clatter. 

You can see her eyes well with tears as she raced around the counter to join you and Richie and as she got closer, she blinked them away. A wary smile appeared on her lips as she stood next to you, making her look a cross between nervous and relieved. 

"Richie, give her some space. Oh my gosh, hi!!" Natalie gasped. 

You winced a bit and smiled, "Hey…" 

You wanted nothing more than to crawl into a hole and stay there forever. 

"Shit cousin, I had no idea you were coming here! If you let us know beforehand, we could've made you a welcome party or, or, or something!" Richie said, ignoring Natalie. 

"How the hell have you been? How was it out west? I heard you got back in town but had no clue you were coming over here to visit!" Richie continued, going on and on and on. 

You stared at him, eyeing the way he looked rugged and much more tired than usual. But Richie was the same old Richie, loud and brash but caring when he wanted to be. 

Your eyes wandered from Richie's frame over to Natalie, who seemed to be analyzing your body silently. Her eyes were filled with worry and her fingers rapidly intertwined with themselves as she gave you a look that meant to say, 'Is this okay? Are you okay?'

You glance back at Richie before your eyes fell behind the two and to the entrance of the kitchen where a crowd had formed. 

And in front of that crowd was Carmy. 

Your shoulders tensed up, visibly enough to make Natalie perk up and whip her head around to see what you were staring at and make Richie go silent. The two glanced at Carmy and, unbeknownst to you, gave him a look of warning. 

Carmy wiped his hands on the towel he had and stared back, silent. His body language was unreadable and you couldn't tell whether or not he was upset at seeing you. Either way, you could feel the hair on the back of your neck stand. 

"Carmy…" you said, voice hoarse. 

You cleared your throat and awkwardly nodded, acknowledging those around him. You recognized a couple faces and others seemed unfamiliar but either way, they all looked at you with curious and cautious eyes. 

After stewing in silence for a bit, Sugar spoke up, "Carmy… say hello". 

Carmy blinked, eyes still set on you making you feel pinned to the spot. You could feel your breakfast swirl in your stomach as his eyes glared into you, analyzing your every move. Finally, he nodded and turned around, making the crowd behind him part like the red sea as he moved back into the kitchen. 

Suddenly, another face appeared in the doorway of the kitchen before yelling out your name excitedly. Fak came racing out of the kitchen, following the same path that Richie and Natalie took, before stopping in front of you.

"Holy shit!," he exclaimed happily, "Your home!" 

Your shoulder sagged. 

Home. 

You were home. 

He giggled to himself, not at all noticing your reaction "I haven't seen you in forever, how are you?" 

"Jesus man, give her some space she just arrived," Richie began, already launching into an argument. 

"What do you mean? I'm perfectly fine!" Fak said, head snapping over to Richie before the two began to bicker. 

Natalie rolled her eyes at them and turned to you, still concerned, "Just ignore them. Are you okay, sweetie?" 

You stood up straight again, wiping the wide eyed expression you didn't even know you had on your face for one with a lazy smile, "Yea, I'm okay." 

She reached her arm out, hesitating for a second to see if you would reject her, before resting her hand on your forearm when you seemed okay with it. She gently ushered you around the bickering men and behind the counter, to the kitchen. The crowd watching dispersed with curious eyes and kind smiles from those you recognized, letting you two pass through. 

As you walked through the kitchen, gulping as your eyes retraced each corner and crevice you had tried to forget about, your eyes stopped briefly to look at Carmy. With his back towards you, he silently chopped some vegetables, seemingly ignoring what was happening around him. 

"Here we are," Sugar said, quietly announcing to you to get your attention. 

You turned and dug your heels into the ground, soles squeaking as you did so. Sugar jumped back and glanced at you. 

"Can we… I'd rather we talk outside." You announce, voice wavering in a way that made your previous confident persona waver. 

Right in front of you stood the door to the office; an office you were very much familiar with as you too had spent many times there. All those memories, all bittersweet at this point, came rushing back; the nights you spent arguing over bills and paperwork with Mikey, the days you came with a bag of donuts from your favorite shop nearby, the intimate moments where your and his lips connected behind the closed door, the moments in which you hid in the office and cried your heart out. 

Sugar noticed the way your eyes had become misty and promptly led you to the back door of the kitchen and to the alleyway.

“I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, that's okay. We can talk here.” she said soothingly.

Her voice was so comforting, making you feel nauseous. You hated the way that Sugar would always act very motherly, even when you were all kids. 

With a shaky breath, you nodded and smiled anxiously, “I'm okay Sugar, you don’t need to worry.”

Glancing at you, Sugar smiled softly. But her smile quickly dropped when she scanned your features, taking in your face again. 

“You look,” she began quietly, “You look good.”

You chuckled to yourself, knowing damn well that she was wrong, “Thanks, you too.”

Richie bursts out the back door, with Fak in town, still bickering.

“My God you two, just stop!” Sugar yells, getting the two to finally snap their mouths shut. 

Fak playfully salutes Sugar, a knowing look on his face while Richie rolls his eyes and crosses his arms. 

“Yea whatever. I’m just happy to see you again, cousin.” Richie says, directing his body to you, with a tone of softness in his voice that felt so foreign that it made you shiver.��

“It’s nice to see you too,” you said softly, rubbing your hands on your thighs.

It was silent for a bit as the four of you all glanced at one another, unsure where to start and what to say. Each party had so much they wanted to say to each other at that moment, but you knew that the three people standing before you had the most to say to you. 

Carmy came out the back door, silent and unsurprised to see the four of you glance in his direction. He closed the door behind him and stood off to the side, away from all of you. He then proceeded to take out a pack and light a cigarette, quietly puffing. 

“Cousin, did you even say hello? It’s rude as hell to just ignore her,” Richie said, a bit agitated at his dismissive behavior.

Yet Carmy ignored him, staring out to the side and away from you all, his blue eyes flickering, but refusing to even glance in your direction.

You could feel your eyes prickle and your throat tighten, regretting even showing up. Carmy was the one person you haven't seen the longest and here he was, ignoring you as if you didn’t even exist.

“Hey,” Richie barked, taking you out of your thoughts, “At least look at her!”

Richie began to stomp forward to Carmy, making you and Sugar flinch as you watched. Fak moved forward, reaching out to Richie and mumbling quietly to get him to stop. Right before Richie could grab Carmy by the shoulder, Carmy spoke up.

“I’m glad you're okay.”

Your mouth dried up.

His eyes turned to you and all you could see in them was pained understanding. He knew you weren’t okay; an okay person wouldn’t just pack up and leave the night after her boyfriend’s funeral. But, he saw that you were alive and the fact that you showed up here after so long meant something. 

It meant that now you were okay.

“Thanks Carmy” you said, making everyone’s head turn to you. 

Richie rocked his jaw and nodded silently, stepping back from Carmy. 

The three of them watched as Carmy lifted his box of cigarettes and offered one to you. They then watched as you walked forward, arms that had wrapped around your body falling, to grab one. He fished his worn lighter from his pocket, carefully lighting the cig you held around your lips for you, before pocketing it and leaning back against the wall.

You take a deep drag, letting the nicotine smoke fill your lungs before exhaling. It soothed your nerves, reminding you of the moments that you spent outside with Carmy, avoiding the yells from inside the house during a Berzatto family event. 

Suddenly, a deep funny feeling began to strew about in your belly. It felt odd and you tried to suppress it, but you just couldn’t help it. You barked out a laugh. 

It surprised you and everyone, not at all expecting it. You felt your cheeks heat up, horrified as to why you just laughed. 

You breathed in, only for it to come out as another laugh. Your horror was then replaced with amusement, making you laugh even harder. 

Sugar, Fak, and Richie all averted their gazes, a mixture of remorse and shame written all over their faces. 

You laughed even harder, slamming your back against the wall before sliding into a crouch. Your body shook so hard as you laughed, barely able to keep the cigarette between your fingers. 

Carmy looked away, an empty look on his face as he too chuckled to himself. 

After laughing so much that your belly began to hurt, you finally spoke up between dissolving giggles, “What the fuck am i even doing here!?”

Natalie turned her back to everyone, clutching her body in her arms. Fak walked forward and gently placed a hand on your shoulder. You didn’t even look at him as he hooked one of his arms under your arm and helped you up from the floor to stand against the wall again. Your knees buckled slightly as you continued giggling and wheezing in an attempt to catch your breath.

Fak stepped back and sighed softly, watching your chest heave as your breathing began to stabilize. 

An uncomfortable silence fell as you caught your breath, leaving the four of you in limbo to listen to a couple cars pass by and the wind blow softly by.

Carmy straightened up, making everyone except Sugar turn to him. He dropped the cigarette he was smoking and crushed it under his shoe. He then reached behind him to untie the knot of his apron and then moved to his neck where he took it off completely. He thrusted it forward, pushing it to you.

“Okay Chef, break is over.” He said. 

You looked over at him, finding no fear or sadness on his face, before nodding and grabbing the apron. He stepped back and turned, moving to open the back door and step inside. 

Sugar, Fak, and Richie all turned to you.

“Break is over,” you repeated and began to tie the apron around yourself before opening the backdoor and walking back inside. 

[meanbossart]

Asks about VaM, art advice, and miscellaneous stuffs

HI! Real quick please refrain from referring to Sad Sack as S/S for the uh... Obviously reasons LOL We call it "sads" for short!

If what you're asking for are recommendations for a website to host that kind of thing, Neocities, Twitter, Itchio and as you mentioned AO3 are all perfectly good options! Patreon too (depending on how gnarly you're planning on getting) but I'd suggest keeping that as a secondary host option because I don't think it lends itself super well for getting your work circulating. I believe Bluesky allows that kind of thing too, but I'm not too sure since I don't use it.

Now, If you're asking about public reaction rather than guidelines, anywhere you go you might find people that don't jive with the work you do 🤷 just be upfront about the type of content you're making right off the bat to avoid having anyone stumble upon it by accident to the best of your abilities, otherwise, I wouldn't worry too much. I know we're constantly exposed to examples of overwhelming harassment and "dogpilling" happening to others but... Truth be told, most of us won't ever get to the size/internet level of fame where we experience that. I think the threat is a little bit... Overstated, nowadays. Not to mention that most of the time people are getting harassment for things that have nothing to do with their work, and rather relating to their behavior and attitudes. Play smart, be responsible, and be honest! Whatever comes next is in god's hands LOL

Thank you for the ask! Not sure I was of much help 😅 but frankly when you're just starting out it's best to focus on getting the work done first and just throwing it out there, wherever it may be. You can worry about technicalities like that later!

I GOT YOU MAN the full sketch is now up on my patreon!

YES AND YES WHETHER IT BE STORIES OR ART OF DU DROW AND YOUR CHARACTERS SLAMMING PINTS TOGETHER BE MY GUEST PLEASE

I love seeing everyone's take on my weirdo so much, anything is honestly welcomed!

AW DUDE thank you so much! Especially for suffering through the mammoth of a story that ANE turned into - writing has never been my strongest point so I'm always shocked to hear from people that enjoy it 🥲

About the booze question, honestly I'm not picky at all, I usually go by price and by that I mean whatever is cheapest LOL but I prefer a dry white as far as types go.

You only have to pay for it once! You get a code that unlocks the software and all of it's features and you're free to cancel your subscription after that. At some point the code might change or there might be an update that requires subscribing again - but that seems like a very rare occurrence so I wouldn't worry about it.

OH NO I HAVE DEFINITELY TRACED MY OWN REFERENCE BEFORE, but not entire poses! When something is challenging I'll make a point of drawing it out the usual way.

I can remember a couple of instances from Nick and mine's comic where I traced pictures I took of myself, just as a time saving measure. Again like I said in the post, there are several ways to employ tracing your own material that is perfectly acceptable. I have also traced bare-bones 3D backgrounds that I made for the same reasons.

I know you specifically asked about tracing when something's complicated, but I still wanted to be upfront to demystify the practice under different circumstances. The rule of thumb is to never use it when you know it would be inhibiting your skill development!

Happy to hear you wanted to pick up the skill! I definitely understand the urge too LOL since playing BG3 and becoming so invested in the stories and characters my art has improved a ton, simply from forcing me out of my usual style and making me want to capture different moods and scenarios - finding something you're passionate to draw is, frankly a great damn start.

I replied to a bunch of asks asking for pointers and advice a while back, one of the questions was very similar to yours and I still stand behind the advice I gave then. Hopefully you can find something helpful here! https://meanbossart.tumblr.com/post/740543514692173824/some-art-advice-asks-ive-been-meaning-to-reply

HMMM I don't usually think of myself as the best teacher/tutorial guy, but funnily enough I can think of a few things about this topic that I could elaborate on lol. If I do that in the near future, I'll put it up on my patreon (for free as with everything else.)

If there are any specific things about it that you (and anyone else who would be interested in it, for that matter) find challenging and would like for me to focus on, let me know!

---

That's all for now folks, and as usual thank you so much to everyone who's left a nice compliment, word of encouragement or funny tidbit in my inbox as well! I can't reply to you all individually, but I see and read all the messages I get c:

HAVE A LOVELY REST OF YOUR WEEK

[neospokenworld]

WINTER 2025 ANIME FIRST IMPRESSIONS

It's a new year, and a new year = new anime season so let's start with the 4 I'll be watching!! (all in one post for better commodity)

ZENSHU

I knew about this one when it was announced, but other than that nothing else, so I went in with a mindset that ''it's about an animator + it's made by MAPPA + It's an original anime'' so what are my first impressions?

It was… Rather uninteresting in my opinion lol

I'm gonna say it here, I don't like the Isekai genre. I don't know but the tropes for it and the oversaturation have always put me off of it so I've only given it a chance once and it was with WataOshi and that one barely touches the Isekai bit and is more fantasy (Good anime tho, only went in 'cause it was yuri but ended up with a good taste, hopefully it gets a S2), I still wanna give a chance to a few ones that I've heard are good like Re:Zero; I'm a Spider so What?; Mushoku Tensei (Yes I know about Rudeus but I've heard that the anime is actually really good); and Shangri La Frontier, but for now I dislike the genre. So seeing that it suddenly turned into an Isekai was… a bit disappointing? I mean I wanted to see another anime about the industry like Oshi no Ko or that slowburn yuri about the Seiyuus (and even Look Back can enter this realm), but instead we got an Isekai and to be honest, I was only a tiny bit interested since Natsuko, our MC, said that the movie she was Isekai'd is a really depressing one so I'm wondering if that will play out in the story later.

Now, is there something good in my eyes about this? well yes, the music is nice and the animation is cool for the majority of the episode, and then the final part actually elevates it up to 11 and makes everything so hype that all I could say was ''wow!'', like for real that entire ''transformation'' scene where Natsuko gets her drawing booth to make the monster was just so good and hype to watch it's insane, so I would say that just for that it was worth watching it lol

I'll see if I get more into it or it'll become one of my drops in the future, but for now this episode was really good if you like Isekais, but for me it wasn't that much

MOMENTARY LILY

This was… Weird, but in a good way lol

Like, I knew of it because I saw someone saying that the opening is a tonal shift with the anime and well seeing it, this entire anime feels like it has conflictive feelings all around lol. The Opening is a metal song while the show is more slice of life, annd because of that the show feels really chill… Altho the scenario they are is quite the opposite with the post apocalyptic setting it has, but anyway there isn't like a lot to say, the characters are nice and the show is chill, soundtrack is really good and the rest is not bad imo. I have nothing to say about the story nor animation tbf so there's nothing else really, it'll be fun to watch since it feels that it'll go for the SoL element with some action stuff sprinkled in between so it'll be fun to chill out, gonna be keen on it and see E2 soon since it's already out lol

THE APOTHECARY DIARIES SEASON 2

(yes I know that poster isn't for S2 but I couldn't find one in good resolution so I had to do with one for S1 lol)

We're so back!!

So I saw the first season around the same time too, maybe a few months after since I remember starting it like a few days after it finished and honestly it was a really good time, a banger first opening that I still listen to this day and a good story that overall made it a very enjoyable time, so what did I thought of this first episode?

We are so fucking back lol.

This first episode really captured the nature and attitude the previous season had for the majority of the time, with such a nice and chill episode to start things off that, while not saying much other than introducing Maomao (cat) it was a really enjoyable time and makes me excited to see the rest of the season and what new stuff it brings to the table

I'm so glad to see Maomao and everyone again, I'm so hyped for this season!!

SAKAMOTO DAYS

And finally, the final entry and overall the most popular animanga that I'll be watching, I'm going blind on it so we'll see how everything develops

And what did I think of it's first 2 episodes? (because it realeased E1 and 2 for some reason lol) well…

It was fun.

Now it's not the greatest thing to grace the universe, it's first episode was okay tbh, but the 2nd one was actually much better and it made me more interested in everything, outside of that the animation and design is top tier from episode 1 and the ED is actually pretty good imo, also Sakamoto is a vibe lol. One thing I would say tho is that these first 2 episodes end up kinda odd, like it doesn't feel like an end to an episode but rather a regular scene, not a big complain tho but just wanted to point it out.

Either way this feels like it'll be a fun one to watch, we'll see how improves in the future (since a lot of people say that it's easily one of, if not the, best shonen manga out there rn, we'll see how true that ends up being)

We'll see how it goes but for now that I've seen only one episode except for Sakamoto Days I'll rank all of these as follows

Apothecary Diaries S2

Momentary Lily

Sakamoto Days

Zenshu

[garcargofarfar]

Hi there saw ur requests were open..

Could I get a gene x reader who argue a lot just let there guard down and be honest with each other

Thank youuu ♡♡

A/N : Ahh ty for the request anon! I don't know how Aph makes blocky men attractive but she gets the job done. So of course <3

Again, I don't know if you want this set in Pdh or MyStreet(I'm realizing this is an issue lol) but I overall see Gene the same so.

Letting Walls Down

Pdh!Gene x Gn!Reader, implied relationship, Gene being slightly mean and toxic, miscommunication, toxic-ish relationship, Gene learns to talk about feelings, swearing

"Can you stop?" You watch as your boyfriend tug his arm away from your grip. "You're damn embarrassing."

"Oh, I'm embarrassing?" You try not to laugh or roll your eyes. "You practically prance around the school with an overblown ego, you think I'm not embarassed?"

"Are you?"

"No shit, Sherlock."

"I don't care."

"I don't care if you care."

"Rude little shit."

"You're the rude one! Why are you always putting on such a fake face?"

Gene seems to have been mentally slapped, his walls building up inside him as you wait for a reply.

"I'm not fake." He says, barely a whisper.

"You don't even love me anymore. What's the point?" You sigh. "Gene, I want to break up."

"W-Wait what?"

"Gene. It's like I don't even know you anymore."

"I.. I'm sorry, I-"

"I just.. I need some time to think." You reply shortly.

"Wait, no! We can talk about this!"

"I'm afraid I have no more left to say."

-----

[1 week later]

You roam the halls of Phoenix Drop, students passing by you as they head to their next classes.

"Woah, watch out!" Without looking, you bump into someone as they grab you by the arm.

"Ah! Thanks." You reply. Looking up, you realise its Gene. "Oh. Gene."

"Oh, er.. hi."

A silent moment passes until Gene finally breaks it.

"Where.. are you headed?"

"Just to grab lunch." You reply meekly. "You.. um.. you wanna come with?"

He nods, a bit too eagerly, trying to suppress himself from giving you a hug right then and there.

"I.. was planning to have lunch outside." You tell him. "Are you alright with that?"

Expecting a snarky remark, Gene simply agrees with a hum.

You grab your lunches and arrive by the bleachers.

Taking a seat, you start eating while Gene does the same beside you.

It's an awkward silence, and you can feel his gaze linger on your figure. It makes you uncomfortable as you try break the silence.

"So.. um. How've you been?"

Gene doesn't reply. Instead, he stares at your face.

"Gene..?" You turn to look him in the eyes.

"Do.. do you remember this place?"

"Huh?"

"This is where I first met you." He says, gesturing around the two of you. "We were fighting for the last remaining seat."

He laughs as he reminisces about the past. You chuckle along.

"Yeah.. yeah, I do remember."

"Good times those were. Good times." He takes a bite out of his sandwich.

"I.. miss those times." You say.

"I do too."

Another silence washes over the two of you.

"Hey, Gene..?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry." You tell him. "For everything."

"I'm sorry too. I haven't exactly been.. the best at communicating."

"I've had my flaws as well. I should've told you when I felt bad. I never should've lashed out on you."

"It's no excuse for my behavior. I haven't been treating you like a significant other. In all honesty, I was.. scared."

"Scared?"

"Scared that you'll leave me." He says. "It's a defense mechanism I have subconsciously."

"I would never leave you! What makes you think that?"

"I.. I dunno. I just.. had my heart broken too many times. I didn't want to go through it again. So I treaded cautiously and never let my guard down."

"Well, you'll never have to do that again. Because I'll be here with you. And I love you, Gene."

"..and I love you too."

And for the first time in a while, he smiles. He genuinely smiles.

"Thank you, my love."

- × - × - × - × - × - × - × -

[vilevenom]

Are you the same Anon as the other hurt/comfort request? lol, it's all good if you are. I'm makin' this one a bit more fluffy <3 Here's some sick!fic for you. Once again, I don't headcanon the trolls caring about gender, but I still swapped the pronouns for you. This ficlet has nothing to do with the previous one. This is set post World Tour, but before Band Together. Enjoy!

It was odd for Branch not to see Poppy at the crack of dawn. Usually their chipper king was the first up and about in the morning, leading the village in their daily song and dance routine. But, this morning Branch had bounced out of her bunker to join in the song without her usual duet partner. She frowned as she walked through the village, looking high and low for Poppy, while giving half hearted greetings to the other trolls as she passed them by. She didn't want to ask anyone if they'd seen their king, as she could still vividly remember how most of the village had freaked out the last time he'd been sick. 'Poppy 911' was not a phrase she wanted to hear again anytime soon. Finally, she decided the only logical place Poppy could be was his pod. "Hello?" Branch asked as she knocked on the door, peeking inside as she did so, "Poppy? "Ugh," Poppy's voice groaned from his bed, an arm appearing from the pile of blankets to wave at Branch, "I'm here. I'll be up in, like, five minutes." Branch frowned lightly as she let herself into the pod, shutting the door quietly before moving across the pod to Poppy's bed. "Hey, sleepy head. You don't sound great. How're you feeling?" Poppy sat up, his eyes half closed and his hair wildly disheveled. Branch flinched back slightly as Poppy snuffled loudly before coughing into his elbow. "M'not feeling too great, if I'm being honest," Poppy sighed, rubbing at his right eye as he turned to look at Branch, "How late is it?" "You missed the morning song, but I don't think anyone thought too much about it. When I walked through town to get here, everyone just seemed to be going about their day. I didn't raise any alarm bells on my way, so no one else knows you're sick yet," Branch hummed, reaching across the bed to feel Poppy's forehead. The pink troll leaned into Branch's hand with a soft sigh. "You're nice and cool," Poppy hummed, even as Branch winced and pulled her hand away. "And you're burning up," she murmured, clicking her tongue with a shake of her head. "I'm going to go get some supplies from my bunker. You just rest, okay? I'll be back as quick as I can." "Nooo," Poppy whined, flopping back into his pillows. Branch chuckled. "Yeeesss," she echoed Poppy's tone, heading out the door, "Be right back." ~ When Branch returned, she came baring soup, juice, medicine, and books. She quickly cleaned off Poppy's bedside table, setting up the medicine and books there, before bustling about Poppy's kitchen to heat up a bowl of the soup she'd brought. "Here," she coaxed Poppy to sit up in bed, pressing a glass of juice into his hand, "it's orange juice. Lots of good stuff to help you feel better. Then you need to try and eat some soup, okay?" Poppy grumbled quietly, but drank half the glass of juice. "Good," Branch cooed, snagging the medicine from the table and pouring a dose into a spoon for Poppy, "Now, take this and drink the rest of the juice." "Ugh," Poppy grunted, scrunching his nose at the spoon, "That stuffs nasty." "That may be true, but it'll help make you feel better. You can drown the flavor out with the juice. Trust your nurse," Branch said with a soft smile, earning a wheezing laugh from Poppy. "Alright, alright," Poppy sighed, reluctantly taking the spoon full of medicine. He made a retching sound after swallowing, then quickly gulped down the rest of the juice. "Good boy," Branch laughed, taking the glass and spoon away. "Only you get to call me that," Poppy grumbled, flopping back into his pillows while half heartedly glaring at Branch.

Branch snorted, rolling her eyes as she went back to the kitchen to fetch the bowl of soup. "I guess it's a good thing I was the one that said it, huh?" "Mmm, yeah," Poppy sighed, groaning in protest as Branch made him sit up again. "C'mon," Branch sat on the bed with the bowl in hand, smiling in the face of Poppy's grumpy frown, "I'll feed it to you. How's that sound?" Poppy blinked, his cheeks darkening further than his fever had made them. "O-oh. Okay," he nodded, not making eye contact as Branch spoon fed him the soup until the bowl was nearly empty. "There we go," Branch cooed, setting the bowl aside on the side table.

"Now, scoot over."

"Huh?" Poppy said intelligently as Branch shoved at his hip and stole one of his pillows.

"I said, scoot over," Branch reiterated, poking Poppy in the side, making the pink troll giggle and curl to the side. Poppy then shifted until he was on one side of the bed, instead of in the middle. He watched curiously as Branch set up the stolen pillow and shuffled the blankets around until she was comfortably settled next to Poppy on the bed.

"What're you doing?"

Branch blinked, arching an eyebrow at Poppy. "I'm getting comfortable."

It was Poppy's turn to roll his eyes. "I can see that. I meant, why, though? I thought you'd want to get back to your bunker. You're usually really busy."

Branch stared Poppy down for a minute before letting out a light laugh. She reached out to cup Poppy's cheek, brushing her thumb just below his eye. "Yeah, usually. But, you're more important than any chores I had to do today. I'd rather stay here and look after you."

Poppy let out a dopey little trill of a laugh, leaning into Branch's hand. "Awww. You like meeee," he cooed in a sing-song voice, batting his eyelashes at Branch.

"Oh my troll," Branch snorted, patting Poppy's cheek before settling back into the pillows, plucking one of the books she'd brough off the bedside table, "Someone has to."

"Everyone likes me, but you liiiiiike meeee," Poppy said with a grin, moving to cuddle into Branch, settling his head on her stomach and wrapping his arm around her middle.

Branch flushed, a warm smile on her face as Poppy curled around her like a snuggle squid. "Some might even say I love you, you big goof ball."

"Mmmm, you loooove meee," Poppy echoed, obviously falling asleep.

"Yeah. I do," Branch sighed happily, absently combing her fingers through Poppy's hair as she turned to her book, Poppy's light snores sounding from her lap.

[screwpinecaprice]

My 2023 drawing summary! ✨

Links to the featured drawings:

jan | feb | mar | apr | may | jun | jul | aug | sep | oct | nov | dec

Barely remember the year to be honest. Just a lot of work and chores. Lol

Just some ramblings under the cut.

Let's see...

Achieved start of the year goals

Didn't fulfill my last year's goal of making commissions a full time job. I mean, I did for a little bit while but it's still not the right time yet.

Though what I did unexpectedly accomplish is that my fear of cockroaches had decreased. We had a family of house shrews this year (usually we had mice) and I learned they mainly eat insects. I still like to avoid killing the few huntsman spiders we have hanging around so the next big insect available would normally be a roach. So I'd bonk one if I find one (instead of immediately bolting out the room) so I can feed the shrews. I mean cockroaches, specially the American cockroach, still freaks me the heck out. But, like, it's shrew food.

Oh, also bought a display tab. I'll always be grateful to the Ko-fi supporters for reaching this goal! I'm still in the middle finding my rhythm with the tablet. Considering getting a paperlike screen protector to minimize the glass texture.

2024 goal

A new laptop of course. My ideapad is in the cusps of dying. 😭

I don't feel that productive in the drawing department this year. :/ My current day job does pay a little higher than my commissions and ko-fi requests combined... But I really don't fill fulfilled when I make less drawings. Let's see if I can make commissions a full time job this year. Or at least try to see if I can make my top source of income drawing related.

There are other goals I hope to accomplish this year, but these are the main drawing related ones.

Regarding commissions

There will be some adjustments to the background prices in regular commissions. Because, like, I shouldn't price it lower than the base price if I spent as much time drawing it. Lol

I think I'll rate Ko-fi doodle requests based on what the piece literally contain instead of basing on the amount of time spent drawing the request. It'll make things simpler specially with comics. I'll make a post about the changes when I decide on the settled rates

[luimagines]

Ok- food for thought.

I recently reread your twilight soulmate series (my favourite fics EVER btw) and I was thinking angsty shit, as I do.

Now to me, twilight is assuming his soulmate is dead because of what he saw or rather what he didn't see.

He painfully moves on with his life, knowing the presence that was always there to guide him since he can remember will never be there again.

Suddenly he has regrets.

Why didn't he tell them more about what was going on? Why didn't he try harder to find them?.. did he ever tell them that he loves them?

Did they die not hearing his love out loud?

The thought stops him in his tracks, the other boys looking concerned.

All he can Think about is his soulmate. He shouldve been with them. He shouldve protected them. He shouldve been able to hold them in his arms and tell them everything would be ok, and that he wouldn't leave them.

Once again he breaks down crying, the boys trying their best to soothe him. He eventually calms down and keeps going. But nothing will stop him from calling out in his mind repeatedly every 5 minutes, waiting for an answer

Fast forward, the crew are still travelling until something changes. Suddenly tracking dark link down is easier than it was. The boys are sceptical, but follow the leads nevertheless.

At last, they enter a new realm, one none of them recognise.

And there, chained up, bloody, barely conscious, is Twilight's soulmate.

Twilight can hardly believe his eyes. It's you! It's really you In front of him and not in his mind!

Only.. this isn't how he wanted to see you. He wanted his first time seeing you to be filled with love and wonder...

Not blood and fear.

Before twilight can run to his soulmate, dark link appears, cutting the group off.

"I figured you show eventually." The dark creature smirks

"at first I kidnapped them to torment you. I wanted to hurt them and use your bond to make you watch. But the little rat is stubborn. Before I knew it, they were somehow broadcasting their location to you."

Twilight gasps. You were still helping him, even when you were in pain.

His eyes well up again. He has to save you- has to thank you and over all he has to love you. He has to love you more than should be possible to make up for everything that's happened.

Before the boys can move to fight, dark link chuckles.

"at first I thought about killing them to make them stop... Then I realised it was the perfect opportunity to lure you to a trap" dark link changes his stance, clearly preparing for battle.

But twilight doesn't care. He'll fight and fight and win if it means his soulmate is safe.

He will save you, and this time he'll protect you.

This time he'll be the one to help you

Fkdndkdneodnoe this scenario has been rotting inside my head and I NEEDED to write it down- sorry for the word vomit 😭

I- hi hello- this is amazing!??!?! Thank you??!?!??!

I am... so happy XD Where do I even put this????

I'll figure it out, lol

I almost took it this direction to be honest but it didn't quite fit with the tone that I wanted. Don't expect much to happen in the next chapter either. I just have to get from point A to point B at the moment but we are reaching the end of it. ^.^*

I love that my self indulgence leads to some of my best works. And honestly, it shows. XD

I have to put this everywhere now- seriously, thank you. <3

[fluffyhellspawn]

Do you have any lesbian ocs/wlw relationships?

Yeah, I do! I don't do too much with them in specific since they happen to fall to the back of my mind quite often as I don't exactly think about these characters too much (My mind gets very preoccupied). However, here are a list of some that i own.

Some of the characters i dont have up-to-date sketches / renders of so uh, bare with me here lol. -Reverb (She/Her) (19) I don't do much with Reverb, she is a genderbend of Echo, however. Tall lady with blueish hair who is a lot like Yuri from ddlc! Minus the uh.........horror side of it I guess? I haven't used this oc since maybe mid 2022 as she was just made as a one-off rule 63 joke lmao

-Bandy (She/Her) (Hundreds of years old. Physically in her 30s) Bandy's the main girly who trained the Isle of Derivia cast as children. Was my first ever sapphic character i made in the ye olde year of 2021. Undyne-based. i love bandy. don't do much with her as there isn't too much to do with her? Maybe in the future I'll expand on her backstory even further, but I'm very happy with what she turned out to be. she's also one of my ocs who have gone through barely any cosmetic change, fun fact!

-Roze (They/Them) (Physically/mentally 12, hundreds of years old.) Thorne's twin sister, biromantic-asexual.

-Thorne (She/They) (physically/mentally 12, hundreds of years old.) Thorne is a little vampire child I have. Lesbian-asexual.

-Azura (She/They) (17) Bisexual, heavily leans towards women. Azura is fun, i love azzy. Fun fact: she started out as a purposeful mary sue oc with a bazillion powers because i thought that entire oc-grouping was really funny. be cringe be free. make that oc a hated hybrid princess with 3498237982352368 different powers and wings. heal your inner child.

-Heaven (Any/All) (19...???? I forgot her age ill be honest.)

Shapeshifting cat-girl originally from outertale AU. another one of my be-cringe be-free ocs.

-Siana (She/Her) (26) Siana. THE lesbian of all time. not much else to say about her other than she IS the LITERAL LESBIAN FLAG.

-Sharde (She/They) (21)

Sharde. Unlabelled sexuality wise. Falls somewhere in the demi-spectrum though. Dunno what she is, don't care to really find out. but she's dating a woman :]

-Mauve (They/She) (???? dead??????????????????) Mauve was Gray's sister. she's dead tho. she was pan.

-Laresn (She/Her) (39) one of vicki's mothers. Was/is(??? i dont remember) the lead nurse in Aega village.

and thats about it/all i remember! There aren't any for the cybernet world (there is a severe, painful lack of femmes there lmao) or any that i own anyway. they're usually all TMBTASI or IOD.

majority of this art is hella old but i cba to redraw them for a one-off HEQHAHH

[jedifighterpilot2727]

Not me thinking about Kara gently hooking her thumb in Lena’s open mouth, both gasping against each other’s lips as kara makes love to her 😭😭 yeah I’m all in favor of you writing this one first 🥹

I'll be perfectly honest, I can't remember the exact scenario that this ask is referring to, but this visual has been stuck in my head for weeks, so I had to do something with it! This is also in the spirit of some of the more . . . shall we say . . . salacious prompts and headcanons I've received, I hope it lives up to expectation!

FRIENDLY REMINDER that sexy times should always be safe, sane, and consensual! And you should also only have the kind of sex described here with someone you trust and who wouldn't actually hurt you or abuse you. Sex can be like a really vulnerable thing, and Kara and Lena have had plenty of previous discussions about hard and soft limits, and even thought they are VERY angry at one another, neither of them are in any real danger and they both know it. Also, AFTERCARE doesn't take place in the text of the story, but it is EXTREMELY important and does happen with Kara and Lena in this particular setting . . . eventually.

Anyways, I feel like this one needed a disclaimer lol.

Fragile

If the ride up the elevator to the penthouse takes forever, then the biometric scanner at the door somehow takes even longer.

When she built the damn thing, she built it for protection, not for speed, but as she waits on the iris scanner to process through the one million specific data points that make it practically unhackable - even by Lena herself - she finds herself rethinking her priorities.

Because right now she needs nothing more than to be inside her apartment, locked away from the world.

The penthouse was her one solace.

Her one impenetrable place.

Everywhere else had been invaded.

By the media, the DEO, Lex, Cadmus, you name it.

But here, here was safe.

Luckily, Kara will be held up at the DEO debriefing that Lena had run out on for at least another hour or two. By then, Lena will have had time to scrub Kara's biometrics from the apartment entry software and fully lock herself in her apartment.

Her own little fortress of solitude.

She almost laughs at the irony.

She's too angry to laugh, too hurt - too angry at being hurt.

How dare Kara - how dare Supergirl, for that matter- call her out for her 'reckless behavior' in front of Alex and the other DEO agents.

Her plan was well calculated, and she was very aware of the risks she was taking by going through with it.

Besides, she made it out with barely a few bruises.

Only because Kara rescued you. the traitorous part of her brain unhelpfully adds.

The locks on the door finally click open, and she lets herself in, fully re-engaging the security protocol behind her.

Lena is well and truly pissed.

She doesn't remember being this pissed in a long fucking time; and she's certainly never been this pissed at Kara.

How dare she?

Really!

Of all the nerve!

To try and publicly admonish Lena for something she herself would have done - has done - time and time over.

Just because she's Supergirl, she thinks she can be all self righteous and holier-than-thou and you know what?

Fuck her.

Fuck her and her stupid cape, and her stupid heat vision and her stupid flying and her stupid fucking hair and . , ,

"Yeahhughh!" Lena shouts, slamming the control panel of her security system closed. There, let Kara try to get in now.

Good fucking luck.

Unless she just decided to use brute strength and force her way in.

But Lena had just had to listen to a thirty minute lecture about how perfect fucking superheroes never do anything "unethical", so that would be a little out of character, now wouldn't it?

With a few quick switches, she brings down the bulletproof shades down over the floor to ceiling windows looking out over National City. After only a moment's hesitation, she also brings down the lead shades she'd installed.

Let Kara wonder what she's up to and worry about her.

Serves her right.

With one final look over everything to make sure she's locked in tight, Lena heads to to the kitchen. There's a bottle of Scotch with her name on it, and she thinks it's high time she indulges. She even goes for one of those fancy circle ice cubes that her chef insists make everything a 'designer cocktail'; but after she pours a couple of fingers into her favorite glass, something stops her.

It's Kara's voice in her head - because of fucking course it is - asking tentatively if maybe she should talk about her problems instead of trying to drink them away.

And you know what?

Fuck that, because the memory of Kara is quickly ushered along by one of her therapist - and she is not in any sort of mood to be thinking about therapy of all things. Without giving herself time for second thoughts, she pours the amber liquid down the drain with a scowl.

Damn it, if Kara can ruin a good glass of Scotch, then she can ruin just about anything

With a huff, she heads to her master suite, because if she can't self harm with alcohol then she can at least take a scalding hot shower. And maybe that's not exactly healthy either; but Kara's voice in her head is silent at least, and besides, she needs a shower. She knows that her hair is a mess and she's pretty sure Alex was crinkling her nose in disgust whenever Lena stepped upwind of her at the debriefing.

Guess entering the alien ship through the trash chute wasn't her most hygienic option; but hey, it got the job done at least.

She turns the shower nozzle on as hot as it will go, and then waits for steam to fill up the bathroom before she sheds her clothes and steps in.

It's only a few minutes before her skin is red from the heat but she feels marginally better; the smell of lavender and mint permeating the bathroom.

When she eventually becomes numb to the sting of the water, she turns the knobs in the other direction until she's being blasted with water so cold that it almost feels like she's doing one of Alex's ridiculous ice water plunges.

She washes her hair twice before she's satisfied enough to move on to conditioner, and she alternates the water temperature between the two extremes at least four times; that and the extra attention from her loofah leaving her skin feeling tingly and raw.

As she stands in front of the mirror drying her hair with a towel, she has to admit that the shower was definitely more productive than the drinking. Plus she still has a clear head and all of her faculties.

Faculties that she can use to plot petty revenge on her girlfriend.

The thought gives her pause.

Was Kara still her girlfriend?

They hadn't exactly broken up, but they hadn't exactly talked either.

Well, besides Kara having the audacity to call her attempt to save the world 'hare-brained' and 'borderline stupid'. But now Lena has effectively taken away Kara's keys to her apartment, and it's not like Kara has bothered to try and come by anyways.

Maybe they were over.

Good riddance, in Lena's book.

She didn't need Supergirl, or Kara Danvers. Or friends for that matter. Or the DEO, or game night, or Kara eating ice cream with her at three in the morning when she can't sleep or -

She doesn't need any of it.

She was doing just fine on her own.

Just like she was doing just fine on that alien ship before Kara came to 'rescue' her.

Angrily, she yanks a hairbrush through any tangles the conditioner left behind, and throws on a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt.

But damn it if it isn't one of Kara's t-shirts that she accidentally pulls out of the drawer.

She doesn't realize it's Kara's until after she's pulled it over her head ,and even though tears sting her eyes at the realization, she doesn't take it off.

It's one of the plain white v-necks that Kara likes to hang around the apartment in, and it's slightly too big for Lena. Muscles and aggressive lounging have stretched it out, and it's soft almost to the point of threadbare.

Fuck it.

It's her shirt now.

She's claiming it.

Not in a 'steal it from your girlfriend to be cute' way, but in a petty theft kind of way.

Hows that for 'unethical'?

She'll just tell Kara to add that to her long list of crimes against humanity.

She pads into the living room, frowning when she sees the blinking light on her security camera monitor. Who could possibly be bothering her now?

A quick look shows that it's not the lobby camera but the balcony camera, and she flicks the feed over to see Kara - Supergirl - hovering outside.

She should have guessed, really.

Of all of Kara's annoying qualities, tenacity was certainly one of the top five.

Kara's gaze shoots to the camera, almost as if she senses Lena watching her.

"Lena, I know you're in there." Kara's voice is pleading, but Lena makes no move to answer; instead shifting her attention to her cuticles. She could really use a manicure, and she makes a mental note to text Jess later.

It's a long moment before the camera's speaker sounds again.

"You took my biometrics off of the balcony door lock."

. . .

"I'm going to assume that you took them off of the inside door as well, because you're nothing if not thorough." Kara spits the word out like it's derogatory, and Lena can't help but feel a spike of sinful pride.

The silence lasts a good five minutes this time before Kara speaks.

"Damn it, Lena! Let me in!"

There it is.

The anger Lena's been waiting for.

Normally Supergirl stays so calm and proper, but occasionally, occasionally, she lets that Kryptonian temper fly.

Lena allows a hint of an evil grin before she shuts the camera monitor off and walks to the refrigerator. Just because she can't use her fancy ice cubes for whiskey, doesn't mean she can't use them in a sparkling water; because nothing says 'gloating super villain' like a bottle of water that costs more than Kara makes in an hour.

So, she fixes another glass with ice and pours the water in until the bubbles almost spill over the top. Then she takes a long, refreshing sip - letting the hint of lemon-lime in the effervescence tickle her nose.

You're not a super villain. You're not a villain at all. the voice in her head reminds her.

The thought should bring her peace, but instead it only infuriates her more. Just because she chooses to do things differently than Supergirl doesn't mean that Kara gets to guilt trip her about it.

She does a lot of good for this world.

A whole hell of a lot more good than anyone in her family has ever done bad; despite Lex and Lillian's best efforts. She's more than made up for her family name, and she's more than proved herself an ally to Supergirl, and how dare Kara try to make her feel like anything less.

She drains the glass before slamming it down with a little more force than necessary.

Fuck.

Fuckity, Fuck, Fuck, Fuck.

She braces herself against the kitchen counter, staring blankly past the glass doors of the cabinets at the cups and bowls meticulously stacked inside.

She's not sure how long she stands there before a loud crack from living room snaps her attention away. She turns to see Kara standing just inside, the remnants of Lena's door lock dangling from her fingertips.

Lena clucks her tongue.

"Well, well, well; Supergirl breaking and entering, aren't you just the little deviant."

Kara's eyes are flaming with anger, and Lena's half surprised that she hasn't been melted into the floor with heat vision.

After a long staring contest, Kara walks towards Lena's work bench in the corner and tosses the pieces of door lock on it.

"Right, cause I'm just Miss goody-two-shoes."

"If the shoe fits." Lena smirks at the cleverness of her own pun, but Kara's scowl only deepens as she stalks into the kitchen.

Her gaze darts around before settling on the empty glass on the counter and then the still open bottle of Scotch. She gives Lena a hard glare.

"Really, Lena? You leave me outside so you can what? Get drunk and ignore your feelings?"

Kara's voice raises as she speaks, and the end of the question comes out in a bellow; Kara's face red and angry as she reaches for the bottle of Scotch and pitches it across the kitchen.

It shatters against the countertop, and once again Lena's finds herself grateful that she always invests in durable building supplies.

Normally, Kara would look petulant after any sort of outburst, but in this case it's seemed only to fan the flames of her ire. Her entire body is shaking so much that she's practically vibrating.

Years of dealing with the Luthor family drama is the only thing that lets Lena look unbothered, despite the discontent in her chest.

"I was drinking water, actually, but thank you for getting rid of the rest of the bottle, I'm trying to cut back."

Kara almost has the decency to look scolded, but it fades quickly.

"You are . . ."

"What?" Lena snaps.

"Completely infuriating."

"You just can't stand it that I can fix things without your help, can you? It really gets under your skin that I can do just as much good as you without parading myself as some sort of paragon of honor and justice."

Kara barks a laugh.

"That's what you think this is? You think I'm upset because you're trying to do good? Every time you go off on one of your hare-brained schemes -"

"There's that word again, you know you'd think for an ace reporter you'd have a broader vocabulary." Lena can tell by Kara's shift in posture that her words hit home, and she allows herself a moment to gloat before Kara's steely blue eyes settle heavily on her and she feels the breath seep out of her chest.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you were trying to make me angry." Kara's voice is dangerous and low, igniting something in Lena - a feeling she can't quite place.

In an odd sort of way, It feels good, to have Kara angry at her.

To have Kara expressing something instead of that stone cold facade she'd held at the DEO. Lena craves it, needs it.

Needs something to distract her from the aftermath of delayed panic and guilt that's starting to overtake her.

"Maybe I am."

Lena knows what she's doing is basically like dangling raw meat in front of a bear and daring it to chase after her.

Kara studies her for a long moment before lifting her gaze away. The silence floats around them like a fog as Kara stares off in the distance - her stare fixated on something that isn't really there. Her fingers drumroll heavy on the counter and the durability of the quartz counter top is tested for a second time that night.

Lena can see the muscles of her jaw clenching and unclenching, teeth grinding together so harshly that she briefly wonders if the creation of diamonds would be possible under such conditions.

After a few long, tense minutes, Kara's gaze settles back on Lena and she shifts under the weight of it.

"Do you think," Kara takes a slow step forward before repeating herself. "Do you think I do it for you? Do you think that when you recklessly throw yourself into danger that I just drop everything and rescue you, for you? Do you think you're so important that I just risk everything for you?" She's close enough now that her breathy laugh ghosts over Lena's face.

"I'm a very . . . selfish woman, Lena. All those times that I threw caution to the wind, that I risked the very fate of the universe in order to save you - I did it for me."

Kara's gaze is threatening to burn a, (quite literal), hole in Lena's skull and she can't help but take a step back. Only, Kara follows, and now Lena's boxed in between her and the counter. The exact definition of a rock and a hard place.

"Do you know why, I always rescue you, Lena?" Both her tone and the fingers tracing Lena's cheekbone are overtly tender, but right below the surface is an edge of sharpened steel.

"Because I have lost everything , and I will not lose you." Kara's hand drops to Lena's neck, thumb pressing harshly into her bottom lip.

It's some sort of animal instinct that has Lena tilting her head to the side, exposing her neck like a dog to its alpha.

Kara's eyes study her face for a long while, as if she's cataloguing every detail for her sketchbook later.

Lena uses the opportunity to analyze Kara.

Her blonde hair has been washed of the grease that had been streaking it earlier. and she smells faintly of ozone and unfallen rain, and Lena wonders how much time she spent circling in the atmosphere before she decided to stop by for a visit.

Long enough to get pissed, by the look of barely concealed rage on her face.

That's ok, Lena's pissed too; and she's never been one to back away from a fight.

"If you would just listen to me -" Kara starts but Lena's already heard enough.

"You mean if I would just shut up and do what you tell me."

"That's not what I said."

"But that's what you meant, isn't it? That your life would be easier if I would just fall in line and do things the Supergirl way. Spoiler alert, Kara; the Supergirl way isn't always the best way."

With one last, defiant meeting of their eyes, Lena sidesteps out of Kara's reach and uses a broom to start sweeping at the remnants of the broken Scotch bottle on the floor.

She can feel Kara's eyes on her, but she very pointedly ignores her, choosing instead to keep her back positioned to the superhero.

When the majority of the glass is scooped up and deposited in the trash, she reaches for a washcloth, wetting it in the sink before turning her attention to the shards of glass on the countertop, carefully wiping them onto the dustpan.

"Lena."

The plea in Kara's voice is evident, but Lena still ignores it, forcing herself to stay focused on the task at hand.

"Lena."

This time Kara is more insistent, and her hand reaches out to rest on Lena's shoulder, but Lena shrugs it off with grunt.

Before can even process what's happening, Kara is spinning her around; pressing Lena's hips hard into the counter with her own, bending her backwards until her head is trapped against the cabinets.

Kara's laugh is dark.

"Do you even realize how fragile you are?"

Lena can't deny that Kara's aura is a little frightening, and her hands scramble for purchase on the counter, looking for anything to give her leverage. She feels the fragment of glass under her finger like crumb a split second before she registers the prick of pain.

"Shit." she jerks her hand up, trying to examine the wound, but Kara intercepts it, closing her fingers around Lena's wrist in a bruising grip. Lena's tries unsuccessfully to snatch her hand back, but Kara doesn't relent; her tone mocking as she smirks.

"See? Fragile."

"Stop that, I'm bleeding."

"What, you don't want me to clean up your mess this time?"

Lena just thought she was mad before.

If looks could kill, then Kara would certainly be dead from the daggers that Lena is shooting into her skull.

Before she can voice a come back, Kara's lips close around the tip of her finger, sucking away the dark red droplet of blood so she can get an unobstructed view of the wound. It irritates Lena to know that Kara can hear the uptick in her heart rate just like she can hear the way Lena's breath catches in her throat at the intimate action.

Kara's eyes narrow as she examines Lena's finger, and Lena knows that she's using her x-ray vision to check for hidden injuries.

Hidden injuries.

On practically a fucking paper cut for gods sake.

She uses Kara's distraction to successfully jerk her hand away, but in less than a split second, she's been recaptured and whisked to the sink. The water is cold as Kara holds the offended finger under the stream, and Lena can't help but roll her eyes.

Just like Kara to be over protective and smothering - a fact that's even more evident when Lena feels the rush of wind as Kara super speeds to the hall closet where the first aid kit is kept and returns with a bandaid and antiseptic in hand.

Kara's look dares Lena to argue with her, and Lena chooses to pick her battles.

So Lena holds still as Kara cleans and dresses her wound, minor as it may be, green eyes attempting to bore a hole from one side of Kara's head to the other. Finally, the job is finished, and Lena turns her glare to the bright yellow bandage around her finger.

She huffs angrily.

"Kara this is fucking ridiculous, I'm more than capable of - "

The sound of a fist connecting with the wall startles her, and she looks up to see Kara hulking over her - eyes dark and cheeks red.

"You still don't get it, do you?" Kara glowers, and once again her hand settles on Lena's neck. This time, her thumb gently massages at Lena's pulse point.

Lena knows, knows beyond the shadow of a doubt that Kara would never hurt her; but her point is loud and clear -

If she wanted to, she could.

The realization sends a shiver down Lena's spine as her eyes shutter closed. She swallows against the pressure on her throat; and when her eyes reopen, Kara is closer than before - blue eyes harsh and glinting as she dares Lena to resist.

Lena doesn't exactly fight her, but she doesn't back down either. For a few long, tense moments, their breath mixes in the air between until Lena isn't quite sure if it's Kara's imposing presence thats leaving her weak in the knees or if it's too much carbon dioxide from their shared air.

"Do it." she dares Kara in a whisper.

"What?"

"Don't play stupid." Lena's voice is raw and broken with emotion, and again she swallows pointedly against Kara's grip; never breaking eye contact.

"We both know you want to hurt me."

Kara doesn't respond verbally, but her fingers flex against Lena's neck.

The tension between them is tight, like a bungee cord about to break; and Lena isn't sure if the resulting snap will bring them crashing together or send them falling apart.

"Do it. Show me you're the only one who gets to break me apart, Supergirl."

Kara's reaction this time is instantaneous.

She lifts Lena effortlessly onto the countertop, stepping between her legs as Lena's head and back slam into the cabinet.

"Fuck." The word is barely spoken before Kara swallows it - teeth clashing against Lena's as her tongue lays claim to Lena's mouth.

The kiss is hot and heavy and possessive, and if Lena thought she was low on oxygen before, she's running on fumes now; her breath panting at every split second of relief she's given from onslaught of Kara's lips. The hand on her hip is bruising, and the hand on her throat moves to fist in her hair. It's too much and not enough; and her own hands are against Kara chest - pushing her away or pulling her in, she isn't really sure which.

Before she can process what's happening, her sweatpants and underwear are yanked off and thrown across the room, and she's hissing as the coldness of the countertop meets her bare ass. Kara makes quick work of her stolen shirt, Lena's negligence at putting on a bra after her shower leaving her nipples peaked and aching as they're exposed to the air.

Then Kara is pressed against her, the material of the super suit rubbing against Lena's still tender skin. But, Kara is warm, so warm, the heat radiating off of her like a furnace; and Lena tugs her impossibly closer, ankles locking around her waist. She shivers as er cunt rubs agains Kara's pelvis, the one place of connection where Lena is hotter than Kara.

"Fuck." Lena repeats, only this time it comes out half slurred, Kara's tongue thick in her mouth.

She should really be careful what she wishes for, because Kara shifts and the hand that was on her waist is now inside her - three of the fingers, anyway, judging by the stretch. It hurts, but she wants more, something inside of her needing to feel Kara's raw power. Kara may need to see that she's the only one with the power to destroy Lena; but so does Lena. Whether she admits it or not, today's close call has left her frightened and vulnerable, and she needs reassurance that Kara will always be there to save her.

So she clutches at Kara, one hand gripping her cape and one on the elbow of the hand that's inside of her, the seam of material that loops over Kara's palm chaffing at her sensitive skin while Kara thumbs her clit. Kara's fingers slip almost completely out before they piston back in, knuckles slamming in so hard that Lena feels her pelvic bone jar with the force.

She's losing all aspects of higher brain function; the only sounds she's capable of making are keening half syllables of desperation. The hand in Lena's hair applies a steady pressure, pulling her back until Kara has easy access to her neck. Lena know as soon as those warm lips give way to teeth on her collarbone that she going to be relegated to high collars for a least a week to hide the bruising.

Kara leads a wet trail down Lena's chest, her fingers never slowing their violent rhythm. As her lips close around Lena's nipple, encasing it in a warm, wet heat, Lena feels her brain short circuit. There's nothing but white hot heat behind her eyes and down her chest, exploding out of her center.

She can feel the wave of orgasm cresting already, and tears prick at the corners of her eyes. Kara must feel her start to tighten because she pulls her head back from Lena's chest and releases her vice grip on Lena's hair. That hand moves instead back to Lena's neck, and this time the pressure isn't merely suggested - it's real - leaving Lena gasping helplessly for air as she chases her release. Her eyes roll back in her head and the rollercoaster is just about to come crashing down the hill when Kara's hand moves again to, (almost gently), cup her chin before her thumb hooks into Lena's panting mouth and pulls their foreheads together.

"Look at me when you cum." Kara growls, and Lena has no choice but to obey. Their eyes meet in a storm of blue and green, pupils wide with lust and fury. The sight is enough to send Lena past the point of no return and her body shakes uncontrollably as her cunt spasms around Kara's still thrusting fingers, her slick spilling into Kara's hand.

She might black out, she's not entirely sure; but when she comes back to her senses Kara's forehead is resting on her shoulder, and her fingers are still thrusting inside Lena - albeit at a much gentler pace.

"Kara." she chokes out in a strangled cry, her body shuddering with the aftershocks of her release.

"I've got you, I've got you." Kara promises fervently as she slowly withdraws her hand from its ministrations and scoops Lena up into a bridal carry.

It takes all of Lena's strength to wrap her arms around Kara's neck; but then Kara's lips are on hers, soft and gentle this time. It's easy to lose herself in the kiss, the emotion, the perfect bliss of Kara's embrace. At least until she feels Kara's lips curl in a smirk and she pulls back to see her girlfriend sporting a very self satisfied smile.

Something is triggered in Lena at the almost gloating expression on Kara's face.

Despite the emotional and physical high she just experienced, she can't help but feel a sense of wounded pride at the fact that Kara, in essence, won.

Yet again, Kara gets to play the hero, swooping in and 'rescuing' Lena at the last minute; carrying her distressing damsel off into the sunset.

Lena levels her gaze at the superhero.

Kara coming away from this feeling like the victor?

That, that simply won't do.

Luthors may lose, but Lena - Lena never does.

Whew! We all need cold holy water showers now! There will most likely be a part two to this if reception is good.

[chaotic-orphan]

Hiii, this is your girly 💍 You actually responded much faster to my ask than I expected you to aha- 😅

First off, thank you sooo much for responding to my ask, it’s always very much appreciated :))

I just want to let you know I love receiving AND responding to your replies. And you wrote SO much length which, like, makes me superrrr happy and, in the moment, excited. To be honest, asking asks kinda gets me out of my writer’s block if you can believe it- It’s forcing me to write, since my brain is itching to respond, and so it’s like making me write, which is good, because I need to write lol- Even if it’s not with creative fiction, it’s just- like, excessive fangirl posts in dedication and/or honor of you-

Thank you so much for the tips on writing superpowers!! After reading your suggestions, I do have a few notes to make!

Now that I look at it, Kit’s superpower DOES fit his personality- And Ambrose’s does too- I don’t think I’ve ever consciously noticed the subtlety of that in your writing lol, so I thank you a lot for that, since giving them a power that fits their overall character is literally an ingredient to making a good craft, so like thank you- I’ll definitely keep that in mind when trying to come up with what ability a character should get!

And OMG, I’ve found that Pinterest actually really helps with fueling up characters and their superpowers- So, thank you for that tip as well, since it kinda starts up the supernatural writing mechanics in my brain-

Also, you said: “I can write more advice I’ve learned if you want a more detailed reply to this question, just shoot me an ask and-” And I just want you to know, you will be receiving an ask in all caps that you can give me more advice underneath 😀 So, like, the topic of that ask isn’t built off you answering my barely-strung-together-rambles, but actually zeroed in on a main subject (aka writing superpowers-)

Thank you so so SO much for all the tips, I really think they’ll help me out! Like, a lot-

Also, I kinda assumed you weren’t in school, lol, since I saw you were 25 in your bio but I literally couldn’t remember for the life of me if it was you who got the, as I see, the undergrad lol– (Late) Congratulations btw!!

I alsooooo kinda assumed you’d be writing drabbles for Febuwhump, lol- Like, as I was asking if you were gonna do a series or drabbles, I kinda already guessed, since you are more prone to writing these magnificent masterpieces that I want like 80 continuing parts to, but like their one standalone was perfectly curated to be, like, alone?? Like, to be glorified without a continuation in progress?? Idk! But I loveee your drabbles. And your series. And your asks. And your reblogs. Anything you post on your blog, really. 

Also, I actually managed to write some of my layout for Febuwhump today which I’m very proud of ☺️Though, I’m not pleased with two of the layouts, so I might scrap it and try something different- I think I’m going to do a little more than half of the febuwhump prompts for a series, and then the rest as just drabbles. So, I'll be writing a short series, lol. So, I don’t burn out-

Also- (omg, why do I keep transitioning these paragraphs with “Also” Like it’s becoming repetitive, even to me-) I am, and have forever been, very shy about my writing. And I know I’ve probably regressed over the year when it comes to my literacy capabilities, butttttttttt I have to remind myself that I might aspire to do something with writing in the future. And I should get over my stage fright when it comes to presenting my writing for others to behold and see. And, sooooo, there’s a chance I’ll tag you in a febuwhump post, lol, but only! on the ones I think you’d actually like, because, please be warned, I’m incredibly rusty. AND, just so you know, I would never say “ew no” to you 🥺 You are too precious- And I know no pressure! But, also the pressure IS kinda on because like I want to write something good that you’d enjoy, and actually I don’t wanna pressure YOU into reading it, because idk- You already know I have a thing for lengthy replies, so you’d expect my writing to be lengthy (but who knows because I haven’t written anything in a while), and I don’t want you to force yourself to read something you won’t enjoy, and anyway- it’s totally up to you, and it won’t hurt my feelings if I like tag you in something during Febuwhump and you don’t like it and you can literally give me (constructive; I’m still slightly fragile 😀) criticism, because like, yah. And anyway, I’m going to stop this overthinking ramble, right nowwww

YESSSS, now to your rambles section of your replyyyyyyyyy

I have definitely noticed you match the vibes of others, actually sometimes you OUTmatch them 😭 But I can tell it's because the person said something and it was about something you were passionate about and you just had to get it out lol- which I totallyyyyy understand to the fullest extent- I was very hesitant when I sent my first ever ask to you on New Years Eve, since I, like, didn’t use my deductive reasoning intuition and check the comments to your posts and actually see the way you responded to others- and you always responded to others with the vibes in tact-

I would like to let you know that I actually prefer responses to my asks that aren’t immediate lol- Of course I get SUPER excited when I get a reply back, but it kinda feels like a penpal ya know? Like, letters kinda? I kinda like not being overwhelmed with answering as quickly as possible, and actually being given time to send and then receive responses- It feels much more chill---more calm, if you, like, know what I mean- Idk-

Thank you for your concern about me not stressing out- Nothing about responding to you stressed me out, so don’t worry! It makes me HAPPY to endorse in my favorite orphan- Because here’s the thing! I loveeee spending my time responding, and getting into the flow of things, and literally, I know I don’t owe you anything, but I’ve been reading on your blog for a little over a year, so it kinda feels refreshing to just actually get to talk to the blogger I’ve come to adore (be it inconsistently, as I hopped on and off tumblr)-

By the way, and this is totally random, but you said “reinforce” in your ask, and I though that was funny, because that was a vocabulary word I learned at school this week lol- 

Reverting to female Whumpees, I really just think it comes down to being more polite with them, ya know? But at the same time, since I’m female and don’t have as strict qualms around the hurt revolving around female whumpees, it doesn’t really pull me back from wanting to write them- It’s just, certain instances, just seem literally closed off or off bounds to be used with or against female whumpees-

I think that’s kinda why I want to do the female whumpee and female whumper combination, since it’s like they are both the same gender so there wouldn't be anything holding me back from any suffering happening- But at the same time, a nicely written male whumper would also do wonders in making a female whumpees suffering more- idk?? Like, appetizing? Just something about it ya know- Like a nicely written male whumper and nicely written female whumpee would piece together so fluidly- A compatible whump match, if I may. I think that’s why I really like Supervillain and Morgan’s interactions so much because of how compatible the two are (and I don’t mean this romantic-wise, or friendship-wise, but I mean it whump-wise). But the two fit! And their fluidness with one another really brings together the Heroic Betrayal story! and I don't think that fluidness would prevail as much if Morgan was instead a Mason, or a Mark, ya know? Like, sometimes female whumpees slide into a story more smoothly than male whumpess 🤷 And I think another thing is that I read male whumpees alllll the time it feels like- And that’s not necessarily a bad thing! But it really was refreshing when I picked up Heroic Betrayal and came across Morgan’s character, because, like- I feel like I don't get to see that often-

(Plus, I can sympathize more easily with my whumped girlies than my whumped baby boys-)

FYI, you are nottt delayed, you could withstand from responding to my ask for WEEKS and it still wouldn’t count as delayed to me- Like, you literally responding to my ask WAYYYYY sooner than I expected, a pleasant surprise! But, a surprise nontheless lol- Like, literally the first thing I see after school- 

Though, I must admit. it’s hard not to feel like I kinda do overstep with my responses- Since it feels like I’m rambling the whole time, but like I’ll make sure to remind myself that you don’t mind- and I think my self-doubt stems from my overthinking tendencies, so I’ll make sure to push past that loll

And just to note I LOVE your replies, short and (guiltily, but especially) the lengthy ones- And I really appreciate you making your replies divided into sections and also always keeping them very concise and structured- It’s very pleasing to the eyes-

Onto the writer’s block section!

Thank you for putting my feelings into your own words, hello?? You literally just explained to me how I was feeling- in like perfect words and vocabulary?? Everything in this section was really motivationally inspiring which I really appreciate! And I’ll take heed to your suggestions- I’ll definitely check out Stephen King’s Interviews! I have to remind myself, often, that the first draft is notttt going to be good, loll-

On the Motivation section.

I really liked this section because, for one, comparing motivation to a “cruel mistress” made my writing euphoria happy, because that line ate?? Oh, and I do see the ages posted in bios! I get a little intimidated when I see people surpass 18 years old, because I’m like, “oh, should I back off?” Since I am on the younger side of things (a couple years till 18), I try to avoid crossing dangerous territory. Despite you being slightly older, I still really enjoy your blog, and I honestly feel like it suits my age range. Like, it’s more focused on character depth and plot and that stuff so it’s like a comfort zone for me- And you’re also, like, really nice- Which, like, draws me in like a moth to a flame (? I THINK that’s the right phrase??) And I kinda see you as a role model to look up to when it comes to my writing- So, there's that-

Okay, I knowwww I should focus on school, but I loveeee replying to you alsooooooo

Anyway, thank you again for your reply! They really mean the whole world and more to me!

-From your girly 💍

PS. (I totally did not giggle when you called me “you little cinnamon roll” 🫢)

-Just FYI, school is closed tomorrow because it’s a snow day :) I’m very pleased- Day 1 of me asking you to write a book 😃

Dear 💍 girly,

You are right, we are letter writers now, this a pen-palship📮📫📬

I’m glad our conversation is forcing you to write more and forcing you out of the dreaded writer’s block!!! I am so sorry for how late this reply is, I didn’t even realise until I got another ask today, I am so sorry!!! So, let me answer now, and it will probably be as long as yours hehehe – I saw your superpower ask as well, I will reply to that after this!!! Get some good links and stuff that I use too for you XD

On Superpowers and Fanfic

Yes, superpowers matching people’s personalities are really good at making superpower characters – that’s something I learned from fanfics hehehe and superpower AUs on A03, which if you don’t know, you probably do, but AO3 has some of the best fucking writers ever, and fanfic in general is also just such a big fun thing

On Pinterest

AND PINTEREST!!! Is the best, I make pinterest boards for my stories when they get long and I need more creative vibes, I need to visually see it – for example Morgan in Heroic Betrayal didn’t have a hair colour until like chapter 9 because I didn’t have a character reference for her yet ahahahahahh - but actually, then I started playing Witcher 3 and she is literally Ciri in my head (sorry I am also a big game nerd, love video game bosses, so whumpy)

On Your Writing Progress

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

YOU WROTE SOME LAYOUT FOR FEBUWHUMP!!! That is brilliant, if you want to, please tag me in your drabbles or the ones you like (totally cool if not XD No pressure)

OH NEVERMIND, I JUST READ THE NEXT PARAGRAPH AHAHHAHAHA – I don’t want you to feel like you have to write something good that I’ll like! Perfection is the enemy of creativity and I have written some god awful things when I started writing and I still look back on it with pride (in my personal writing journals) because I wrote so much and because of it this love of writing has stayed with me for yearrrsss!!!

Hahahah, I am glad you prefer later replies, it does feel more like pen pals this way!! Reading and responding to all the little paragraphs hehehe!!

OH MY GOD NEW VOCAB WORD, REINFORCED heheheh what a coincidence!!

If you like Heroic betrayal – the dynamic between Morgan and Supervillain, I would recommend reading @/whumblr’s Bookish series – really good fem Whumpee and male whumper dynamic – just delicious O Mo Dhia

On Female whumpee/whumpers

But I totally agree with your opinion, like fem Whumpee and fem whumper would be no holds barred all out smackdown, and that is because they’re equals like male whumper, male Whumpee – but even then the dynamic changes!

Because women are so much more subtle in their domination than men who respond more to violence and so are more violent! But fem Whumpee/whumper would be soooooo good!!! I am only delving into that dynamic recently!!! And fem Whumpee/whumper is really interesting to write.

On Ranting and Self-consciousness

No, please, ramble, rant, tell me your every thought, you are NOT overstepping!!! like I am (obviously) paying attention to this and replying and giving it thought, but like I am not self-conscious about how it will be read or picked up and I think that comes with age ahahaha…

I have a lot of sisters, and my younger sisters are embarrassed by little things that I try to tell them won’t matter in a few years, but it matters a lot to them at the time!!! And self-consciousness is something everyone has to battle in life, like I would never dream of sharing my whump fics with anyone I know hehehe, we all got to lock that voice in a cage and throw it in a river

And I am having a lot of fun talking to you!

On First Drafts🤢

THE FIRST DRAFT IS A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF CRINGE, likeeee first drafts succkkkkk so bad O Mo Dhia, it is actually just… GAH INFURIATING and you’re like “this is the worst writing ever” and there are so many quotes on writing – “like books aren’t written, they’re re-written,” and that “all good writing is re-writing” etc.  

On Motivation

Hahahah, I think in my last reply I was struggling with motivation and reading a dramatic book and I was feeling edgy, cruel mistress hehehe, it’s so true though!!! GAH!

On older writers

I felt that intimidation too back in the days of my youth😭😭😭– but no just as long as your safe on the internet (oh god, I really am old) and just y’know, you’re very nice and sweet, but do be careful with that openness too and yeah, I mean, obviously trust your gut and be savvy – okay, I am stopping this rant, I am not your dad ahhaahaha – INTERNET SAFETY GUYS, NOT A JOKING MATTER

Although I’m honoured to be your role model when it comes to writing, you are just so cute agghhhhh – you are a cinnamon roll ahahhahah, thank you for your last letter, these are letters now, we are pen pals now, writing with quills by candlelight in plague ridden France mmmmm yes ahahahhahah

SNOW DAY!!!!!!!!!! LET’S GO!!!!! Oh my god I used to love when our school pipes burst and we didn’t have school for a few days, 10/10

I am currently writing a book, writing two, but one is more prose fiction like contemporary fiction, but MY FAVE IS the one about two brothers in a magic world with powers (which is basically glorified fable (another old video game) fanfiction but I LOVE THEM) so yes 😊

[bonaesperanza]

Tag nine (9) people you'd like to know better.

Tagged by: @highladyluck

I keep being tagged in these chain-type things and I keep putting them off for later and then forgetting! But this time the accumulated guilt was strong enough that I remembered!

Last song: Until it Doesn't Hurt - Mother Mother

Currently watching: Nothing. The last thing I watched is a movie that I kind of half-watched on the TV this winter while doing other things and not concentrating on it, and I recently remembered it and wanted to give it the attention it deserves. The movie is True History of the Kelly Gang. And I loved it - it's very punk, it's very gender, it's very feral, and I'm amazed by the complexity of characterization it manages to cram into two hours of screentime. I see it as an exploration of how oppression and colonialism can twist people up psychologically until they've been abused enough that they see everyone around them as an enemy. I'm really not sure how well it holds up to Australians, since I'm a stupid European who knows nothing about Ned Kelly besides the basics, but it's very clearly not meant to be a realistic depiction so I hope that I'm not gushing over a thing that ruins your national hero here.

Currently reading: Currently rereading the 2017 Thrawn trilogy by Timothy Zahn, so that I can then read the Thrawn Ascendancy trilogy which I've somehow managed to not read despite being a huge Zahn fan. All this in preparation for Ahsoka, which I imagine will fuck with Zahn's careful layered characterization and contrive a reason for Thrawn to be an antagonist even if he perhaps logically wouldn't be at this particular point in time. All of my Vorkosigan and Queen's Thief mutuals are gonna be mad at me for this but I've realized that Thrawn is my favourite risk-happy strategic genius just because he combines the madlad energy with the illusion of being a gentle and dignified man. I'll be honest, I've also been stopping every couple of chapters to read some Thrawn/Eli fic because the UST between them is off the charts and I can't deal.

Current obsession: I don't think I have one - I'm all about novelty seeking in this phase of my life, to the point that I am hardly able to finish doing or consuming one thing before needing something completely different. I guess I am kind of professionally obsessed with some things, but I don't think any of my mutuals want to suffer through my ranting about social science research techniques? I can barely bear to hear myself think lol.

Tagging!: @goofygooberton @thesunlikehoney @metalmaul @peppers-ghost-posts @annmcn @starfishlikestoread @viridianriver @cookie-nom-nom @fantasticait

[drunkonimagination]

Do you think Alastair knew that the infirmary was Thomas's first time? If not, how do you think he reacted when he found out? Lol idk sorry I love them and keep thinking about them

hmmm. this is interesting because the first answer that came to my mind was 'oh sure, he definitely knew', but then i remembered how much alastair was uncertain of thomas's feelings for him in chot to the point that he even asked him if their previous night spent together was just a one time thing (as if, you know, thomas was the one-night stand type of guy and wanted just that from alastair....which, if you knew him just a little, you'd conclude he is not jsksk)

and i couldn't hide my own surprise when i read that...like alastair, babe, you can't possibly think something like that about the man who just confessed his love for you and in your mother language too and has been fighting to be with you for the past few months...

but about all this i came to conclusion that alastair is so emotionally invested when it comes to thomas that it clouds his judgement and usual insight (and the whole story with charles and his past trauma didn't really help) especially in this initial phase of their relationship when everything is so precarious and alastair still considers himself undeserving of love.

so this is my honest answer:

alastair knew it deep down. such as he knew deep down that that night wasn't a one time thing, but he was so scared to have his heart broken once again that he needed to ask to be sure.

anyway, all these thoughts make sense just if we assume that thomas didn't say it clearly at some point of the night/made it explicit that it was his first time, something that, knowing thomas's personality and insecurities, i wouldn't rule out... (no matter how much he desired alastair in that moment and needed that, we are talking about the same awkward and insecure boy who beats himself up over every sappy thought he has about his crush and who almost broke into tears when alastair looked at his bare chest and told him he was beautiful) and i feel that at the first insecurity, at the first 'am i really doing this right?' he must have voiced his doubts to alastair.

oh and you asked me about how alastair reacted too!! (even if i think he already knew it, i'll answer to this as well shjss)....let's put aside all the insecurities that came back the day after and let's focus on that moment. how did knowing-it-was thomas's-first-time make him feel in that moment? oh, man....he probably couldn't believe it, was in seventh heaven, felt so honoured and delighted that started crying at some point- but what i'm sure of is that despite what happened the day after in that moment he was just happy. immensely happy. <3

[destinyc1020]

Confession:

I check N's account every now and then. My parasocial self thinks she still have something for Tom. She often post stories whenever T or Z go viral. Few things I remember:

1. Her posting being at Soho House (I think in London) in 2023 when Tom celebrated his birthday in Soho House (US) with his family and Z.

2. Her posting on Sept 1 or 2 2022 (depending on the timezone) and captioned it Good old goods. Well what I see on the post is she wants to show that she's out and happy (nothing wrong about that but girl, why sept 2 of all dates?)

3. When Tom went viral because of fixing his girl's door, N posted a story about his current boyfriend being a handy man or something to that effect (well I admit I may be overthinking this one and my understanding of British humor could be wrong)

4. Shared a story about attending Dorian Gray opening night which happened the same day as Dune 2 premiere in London (and TZ went viral that day as expected)

Sorry for the rant, just need to let it out..

Thanks Anon for your confession....

I'm just going to be honest here since that's what I usually am on my blog lol. I'll give you my honest opinion. 😅

I'll first be honest and admit that I really haven't paid much attention to N (if at all) since 2021 lol.

Once it became apparent that Tom dumped her to get back with Z, and he and Z were starting a relationship back up again, I really didn't see the need to follow whatever N was doing tbh.

I mean, maybe you might be on to smthg? But my honest feeling is that you might just be reading a little too much into innocuous things. Just because N posts on the same day as smthg going on with TZ doesn't automatically mean she's not over Tom or over a breakup.

She and Tom barely dated each other... 👀 It's not like they dated each other for years upon years, or even went out on dates like a regular couple (most of their time together was spent indoors during the Covid-19 shutdown).

Honestly? It's 2024. If she were still pining after a guy that dumped her almost 4 years ago back in 2020, I'd say that it's time for her to go to therapy and figure out what's going on there, coz that's not normal. 👀😬

With that said, I personally doubt N is still holding a torch for Tom. It was pretty obvious when she was throwing shade re: their breakup, but after 2021, I haven't seen her behaving in that manner. I also kind of get the feeling that she made peace with the whole thing long time ago.

Sometimes, I think fans forget that Tom was actually her rebound from Stanley. Tom himself was also still rebounding (imo) when he dated N. 🤷🏾‍♀️

I really don't think it was as serious as some fans made the thing out to be tbh.

Last I checked, N seems perfectly happy with her new beau. ☺️

[oopsallmabari]

✨Self-Rec Tag Game ✨

tagged by @gaysebastianvael! very cool tag game, prob should take time to appreciate my own work more often lol

Rules: Share five of your own fanworks (fic, art, etc.). Then, tag five more people to share the things they’ve made.

Something you absolutely adore

ooh i think it'd have to be this pic of daithi--i've done a few portraits of him and i like to see how the way i've drawn him has evolved!

2. Something that was challenging to create

digital painting continues to be a bit of a bear for me, and i remember plugging away at this for ages. hoping to get better at it in the future :)

3. Something that makes you laugh/smile

muppet dorian is probably the silliest thing i have ever made. but i like him. still have plans to mupp-ify other DA characters. someday.

4. Something that surprised you

this one is kind of difficult! but i guess i'll link to my longfic with arya for this one, which i can't remember if i ever actually linked to on this blog lmao. it's surprising to me that anyone has read it if i'm honest and that i wrote that many words. it's also on hiatus rn as i am. fully rewriting it (snippet of the rewritten opening under the cut at the end).

5. Something you want other people to see

time to plug some of my oc work! zeke is an oc of mine from a personal WIP--currently in the very early drafting stages of an interactive fiction of which she is a cast member. she's one of my oldest ocs so i like to make ppl look at her. (this counts as a fanwork! i can be a fan of my own work!)

tagging w no pressure (sorry if you've already been tagged before lol)! @creaking-skull, @triflingshadows, @dreadfutures, @lavellander, @glamfellens

and a preview of frostbitten blades, the redux:

“You don’t have to leave.”

Malik says it with that kind uncertainty she’s grown so accustomed to, that she expects of an older brother. Sturdy yet soft, truthful and earnest, but tapering off at the ends. They’re seven years apart. It’s a lifetime. They’ve been worlds apart for so long.

He’s grown into this role so well, the thin, gold circlet nestled comfortably within his dreadlocked hair, the purple embroidered jacket shaped perfectly around his broad shoulders. All of his fineries are well-tailored. He must actually sit for his measurements now. He didn’t as a boy. Wouldn’t sit still unless Mother was hovering behind him. Now—he waits, holds meetings at the head of the table with quiet assurance, smiles warmly at visitors.

Currently, the smile is small, but it’s there, rounding his chestnut-brown cheeks. He doesn’t want to force it—she’s barely been at the estate, at his home, for a week. It’s the longest they’ve seen each other in seventeen years. She almost left earlier, without a word of goodbye, until the twins snuck up on her. Malik knows this. He hasn’t said anything, mercifully.

She’s so bad at coming up with responses lately. Malik knows this.