#I'd really like to know if it's important to you

[cargopantsman]

there's probably some kind of nuance/extremism to be held about certain souls/distinct personages deserving to rot in hell and all that. i'd be hard pressed myself to come up with any argument that Hilter or Musk shouldn't be agonizing in hellfire for eternity/infinite time...

but out of hand the idea that hell being empty isn't such an atrocious idea. it's really a nice idea at the end of the day, especially riding on the coat tails that unbaptised babies are damned to hell.

the whole thing really compounds on the crucified thief too right? like there's a path to redemption. it might not be easy, but it's there.

and even given that the only person we "know" got into heaven was that thief next to Jesus, like... this whole statement is in line with the Jesus thing of saying "yeah, the most wretched are the most deserving, the most earnest."

even sigging into this a bit I found some interesting gymnastics going on:

and somehow this conflation is an argument?

"To give another example, imagine you are tasked with finding a group of survivors from a shipwreck who are floating out in the ocean. Someone says to you in the rescue team, “You know what? We can have a reasonable hope that the survivors ended up on a desert island and are now listening to coconut radios and playing basketball with the Harlem Globe Trotters. So let’s stop worrying about these rescue missions and focus instead on the more important task of making the ocean more welcoming or fixing inequality among boaters.” It’s possible the survivors are fine on a luxurious tropical island, but the odds are probably 80 million to one. So it’s reckless, negligent, and lazy to forego your duty to save those people based on the thinnest hope they don’t need saving."

and the flipside is how badly do you need people in Hell to make Gilligan's Island allegories?

and there's this weird hubris in place where these people are So Certain about the Empyrean Judgement laid on their fellows that just baffles me. (nevermind the confluence of legitimate rescue ops in the mortal world being confounded with spiritual concerns.)

the fucked up thing is i can't believe in G-d or Jesus. It's just not possible with what I've been through. but I do like the Idea.

I like that a thief repented alongside a messiah and is the only person we know that Made It.

I like the idea that hell is empty.

I like the idea some kind of omnipotent, omniscient entity can love us into redemption.

if only I could believe it...

I genuinely think there was no greater insight into the modern Christian mindset than when the Pope said he very much hoped Hell was empty and he was absolutely hounded by both Catholics and Protestants outraged at the idea of a man who wanted a place of infinite suffering to have nobody in it.

[sugawhaaa]

🥀HAN ONE-SHOT🥀

🍄•♡°[ trust me ]°♡•🍄

Warnings//genre:: SMUT! Mentions blood, Virginity loss, FLUFF, oral (f rec) fingering (f rec) handjob, body exploration, body worship, sm praise bro, protective hannie, protected sex,

Pairing:: SOFT!dom!Han x sub!virgin!fem!reader

A/N:: bro I wrote this in like...three hours but I think it's the best fanfic I have EVER written. Like he is so fucking sweet I wanna kiss him

Skz masterlist:: 💕

🎧::

Things between you and Han progressed surprisingly fast throughout your entire relationship thus far. You thought Han would like things to be slow paced but, once again, surprisingly he was the opposite. That's why you weren't overly shocked when he abruptly asked about having sex.

"I know this is kind of abrupt but we've been dating for a while so I was thinking maybe we could try..." He's very tense as he asks you, nervous to see your reaction. "Having sex? If you wanna," The way he asked made you feel so important somehow, like this wouldn't happen without your enthusatic consent.

"I mean I'd love to, but," You pause for a moment and Han looks intruiged, showing that you have all his attention. "I'm a virgin," You sigh and Han looks taken aback.

"Really?" There's a long pause as he processes what you said. "That is surprising..." He chuckles and you laugh at his comment. "I just thought, you know, you're so beautiful and attractive that some man must've approached you by this point," He explains and you shrug, not bothering to touch on the subject of other men. "I don't mind by the way! I could be your first, show you the ropes, and I'll be oh so gentle," He promises with a confident nod. "But I will wait until you are ready,"

"I never said I wasn't ready," You smile and he looks at you, wide-eyed, and his cheeks flushed.

"So...Do you wanna..?" He smirks, trying to contain his excitement. You nod and he smiles sincerely. "Okay, wow this is exciting okay," he chuckles nervously and shifts on the bed to face you. He takes your hands tenderly in his. "Are you sure?" He confirms and you nod.

"Absolutely," you smile and he blushes softly. "I can't think of another person I'd want to be my first, experiencing something like this with you has honestly been my dream, my fantasy, everything," you blush and look down as you confess your inner feelings. "I trust you," you keep eye contact with and he smiles sincerely.

"Thank you Y/N," he lifts your hands to his lips, kissing your knuckles softly. "Let's get you nice and comfortable first," Han gets you to stand up while he fixes the bed, making sure the sheets are flat without a single crease. He then turns the lights out before turning on the fairy lights in the room, creating dim and warm lighting for an intimate and romantic night. He then turns to face you again. "Now, shall we undress?" He smiles and you can't help but blush at his care for your first time, all his efforts to make you comfortable. "I'll start," he takes off his shirt and tosses it aside in the pile of laundry. He holds your hips and guides you to sit on the bed as he finishes undressing. "Should I go all the way or just to my boxers?" He smiles down at you and you giggle.

"Mmm all the way," you smirk slightly and he laughs.

"Alright my little minx," he kisses your forehead quickly before pulling down his sweatpants. You watch as the baggy fabric falls to reveal his toned legs, his thighs muscular from lots of training, but what draws your attention the most is the bulge in his boxers.

You had seen his bulge before, whether it was intentional or not. Almost every morning it's hard to keep your eyes off his crotch. "Do you wanna do the honors?" He offers and you blush, a little flustered by the offer but you can't deny that you want to. You hook your thumbs on the waistband of his boxers and pull them down, watching his cock slip out of its confinement. Your face flushes as you see him for the first time, your lip subconsciously tucking between your teeth.

He rubs your head teasingly, ruffling your hair. "Like what you see?" He jokes and you huff at him. "I'm teasing," he caresses your cheek, rubbing his thumb over the squishy skin he loves so much. He then sits down beside you. "Would you like to...touch me a little or undress first?" He puts a hand to your back, offering comfort.

"I guess I'll undress a little," you nod and take off your shirt and pants, leaving you in your undergarments. You notice hans eyes chasing your breasts as you set your shirt aside.

"Fuck..." he mutters softly and it draws your attention. "Sorry, sorry," he puts his hands up in surrender as his cock follows suit, standing up. You chuckle softly, brushing him off.

"Don't apologize, I like it when you get flustered," you nod before your eyes flutter down to his length, standing proud and tall as it twitches against his stomach. "Is it okay if I touch you?" You bring your hand to hover over his most intimate area.

"Y-Yeah, of course, baby, I'm all yours," he leans back a little, his arms propped up behind him, exposing his cock to you. You hesitate before making contact with his cock. You can feel the throb of his heat, the silkiness of his skin, the wetness of his arousal, it's all so erotic and enticing. He moans softly, his head tossed and hair falling back, before chuckling softly. "Your hands are so soft...I've waited so long to feel you baby," he smiles blissfully as you continue to explore him.

You feel around his hardness, taking in the size and length of it, and watch it twitch in your palms. You then shift your hand into an O shape and slip his cock through the hole. He lets out a shaky breath before smiling. "That's good, yeah," he moans lowly, his voice raspy in pleasure. You felt your blood rushing at the sight of him like this, hearing his moans and praise got you so excited. He brings a hand up to your head, playing with your hair. "You're so good to me," his eyes fluttered shut in bliss. "Go a little faster, please," he chuckles in embarrassment at his request. "Fuck, yes like that," he praises as your hand moves faster, effortlessly gliding thanks to his precum.

You began to feel more bold and confident in your performance thanks to his praise and reactions. Before you know it his body is twitching and acting on its own. "Keep going," he encourages, gripping the sheets next to him hard. You weren't sure what else to do so you just kept jerking him off faster and faster until he started letting out these guttural groans. "Shit! I'm cumming baby," he cries out his head thrown all the way back as his back arches, his legs twitching slightly.

Cum spurts out onto your hands and a rush of excitement courses through you. The lewdness of feeling someone else's cum on your hands and seeing him reach such a high peak due to your ministrations was indescribably arousing.

Eventually, he calms down, his breathing evening out as he chuckles sincerely. "You did so fucking good babygirl," he holds the side of your face to kiss you deeply as a reward. At first, the kiss catches you off guard but you fall into it, bringing a cum coated hand up to his shoulder. Your tongues mingle and twist around each other as he leans in closer to you. He rubs your thigh softly with his free hand before pulling back, his hand still lingering. He looks up into your eyes and you can tell exactly what he'll ask next. "You ready?" He tilts his head, his fingers drawing closer to your panties.

"I'm ready, more than ready," you blush, the puddle of wetness in your panties now obvious. He throws your thighs around his waist and he picks you up. He sets you on the bed, laying back against the plush pillows he coordinated to support and comfort you. He gently helps you remove your undergarments, making sure you feel worshipped along the way.

"You have such perfect tits," he admires your breasts after removing your bra, gently cupping the soft flesh. "So soft," he kisses your nipple softly making you release a little squeak at the new sensation. After giving your tits a little attention he moves lower, giving tender kisses to your tummy. He peels off your panties, tugging them down your legs and tossing them aside. You reflexively cross your legs, hiding your vulnerability. "Hey, hey, don't be shy now baby," he brings his hands to your knees, prying your legs open.

"I'm embarrassed," you admit and he stops, looking up at you sincerely.

"Why babygirl? I've been waiting for this for way too long," he whines and you chuckle softly.

"I just...I didn't shave or anything because I didn't know we'd be doing this anytime soon..." you explain and Han sighs, thinking of how to respond.

"Listen...I don't really care," he explains, instantly making your expression change. "If it makes you feel more comfortable to shave you go right ahead baby, but if you're shaving on my part or if you are simply embarrassed because you haven't shaved, don't," Jisung nods determinedly and you blush, a smile creeping upon your lips. "Now, can I please see this pretty pussy?" He looks up at you with lust-filled and desperate eyes. You nod with a smile and he smiles back, proud that you are now comfortable with him.

He pulls your legs apart to reveal your dripping cunt, he doesn't even pay mind to the curly hair there, more focused on the slickness of your folds. "Fuck baby," he moans before running a finger up your folds. "Look at this," he says in awe, loving the way you respond to him. "So wet, so cute," he brings his thumb up to your clit, rubbing little circles on it. "What do you want me to do babygirl? Finger you or eat you out?" He tilts his head, resting the side of his head against your inner thigh as he continues to play with your clit.

"Maybe...both?" You smirk playfully and he chuckles.

"Should've guessed huh?" He places a gentle kiss to your clit making you gasp softly. "Don't be afraid to pull my hair baby, I know you're gonna want to," he slithers a finger down to your slit, guiding it between your tight folds. "Deep breaths baby," he encourages, his words slightly muffled by your pussy. You nod and take in long breaths. His finger trails in deep, roaming around your insides, familiarizing himself with your tender spots.

He takes a long time, taking a lot of care into finding all those spots and paces you like before actually fingering you.

He curls to fingers simultaneously against that squishy spot that makes you squirm as his tongue flicks your clit but he takes a pause to speak. "If it's too much just tell me okay?" He quickly resumes his ministrations as you whimper and sob.

"O-Okay," you tug on his hair, the silver strands lacing around your fingers. You let out a loud whimper and blush at your own sounds, sounding so pathetic and lewd.

"Keep doing that, moan for me," he groans, getting lost in lust and falling drunk to your cunt. He fingers you faster, a bit harder as well, seeking more music to his ears. You finally cave in, embracing your lust and moaning into the quiet room.

"Jisung, I-I think..." you bite your lip, unsure of how to confess such a sensation.

"You getting close?" He finishes your statement for you and you nod, your lips quivering as your brows curl up. He sucks on your clit, the room filling with slurping sounds and the sound of your pussy sucking in his fingers. You feel this warmth trickling up your body as your head goes fuzzy, your body lightly twitching from the sensation. Your hips buck up reflexively and Han pulls you through the orgasm, drawing out every last strand of pleasure, before pulling back. "How was that?" He smiles and you're left panting, your head reeling.

"Fucking...insane..." you pant out and laugh softly, the rush of hormones making you feel above the clouds. He laughs at your fucked out state before kissing your forehead.

"Such a good little minx," he pats your hip softly, a form of praise. "Do you need a break or shall we keep moving?"

"I wanna keep going, I've never felt so good," you explain and Han creeps up closer to you, hovering above you.

"I'm so glad angel," he caresses your cheek. "I'm so glad I get to see you feel like this for the first time. The way your lips part, your body twitches, your eyes squinting shut, your little cries, they're everything to me," he rests his forehead against yours as he speaks softly. As he speaks you feel his cock nudging against your lower abdomen, hinting that he's growing impatient but he will always wait for you.

"Trust me Jisung, I wouldn't change a thing in my life as long as I got to be with you," you kiss him softly and he smiles bashfully.

"Please Y/N...let me please you," he reaches over to the nightstand, searching through the bottom drawer for a condom packet. He sits back on his knees, his cock standing up and front. He holds the packet between his teeth and tears it open, tossing the wrapper somewhere in the room, before rolling the condom on with ease. "It may hurt a little at first but I promise I'll take it slow," he lines his sealed cock up to your slit. "Ready?"

"Mhm," you nod, eagerly waiting for the impending sensation to take over you. He gently pushes his hips forward and the two of you moan in sync.

"Fuck," he curses as his cock makes it only about halfway through your pussy. "How are you doing?"

"It kinda hurts but I can push through," you nod, gripping his shoulders tight. He takes one of your hands, intertwining it with his.

"Squeeze it," he nods before pushing his hips forward again. You let out a cry, squeezing his hand hard as you feel him filling you up.

"Fuck," you curse loudly. "It hurts but it feels so fucking good," you throw your head back, your hand trembling as you squeeze his hand.

"Deep breaths babygirl," he then thrusts forward, his cock filling you up. You jump, back arched, at the sudden increase in intensity. "Shh, Shh, it's all in baby," he kisses your lower jaw softly. "You're doing so good," he rubs your thigh. At first, Jisung moves slowly, allowing you plenty of time to adjust, but the condom helps lube you up a lot and soothe the muscles. As soon as he begins to slowly thrust your head spins.

"Is it supposed to feel this intense," you chuckle as sweat builds along your forehead.

"I know it's a lot at first but trust me, I'll make you feel so good," he promises softly as his hips skillfully roll against yours. You claw at his back, your nails digging in as you fall to the overwhelming pleasure. You let out cracked moans and Jisung finds it hard to hold back, craving you more and more as he thrusts into you gently, but the he hears the most reassuring words he could possibly ask for in this situation.

"Faster~"

Your voice was soft, a quiet yet desperate plea and Jisung is not one to deny a lady of her wishes. He moves his hips faster, falling to his own lust. He thrusts harder, deeper, faster, all the things to make your head spin. Your body begins to shake as you let out squeals of incoherent lust and everything just comes pouring out of the two of you.

"Oh yes fuck baby!" He groans as he unloads into the condom, hips twitching into yours. The two of you ramble incoherent lewd words at the overwhelming pleasure before slowly coming down together. "So tight," he groans.

"Fuck Jisungie," your body goes limp against the bed, your body still trembling from the intensity of the orgasm. He pets your head sincerely, feeling the softness of the locks.

"You did so good," he breathes out. "I suppose I should pull out just in case," he chuckles before pulling out, you could hear your pussy clinging to him as he eased out. He removes the condom, tossing it in the bin next to your bed. "I'll throw that out properly later, way too fucked up right now. Besides I need to take care of you," he smiles before noticing the cum dripping out of your slit, a hue of pink in it, but you were unaware. "Um this is kind of awkward but just so you know you're bleeding a bit," he says as he sits up next to you, pulling you into his lap.

"Shit really? You think it's from my hymen?" You blush, hiding in his chest.

"Don't be embarrassed, and probably," he nods and you sigh. "Let's get you in the shower, kay?" He scoops you up in his arms and you gasp at how effortlessly he lifts you. "Maybe I can please you some more in there, hm?"

[allthingsfangirl101]

A Night On The Couch – Glen Powell

Masterlist

Y/N got home from work past 7 o'clock. She hung her keys and jacket by the door. She let her work bag fall off her shoulder and left it by the door. She headed straight to the bedroom and quickly changed into a baggy shirt and a pair of leggings. She took off her makeup and pulled her hair into a messy bun.

When she walked into the kitchen to get a glass of wine, she noticed she was home alone. She grabbed her phone but stopped. She knew there was no point in calling her husband. She knew that he wouldn't answer his phone while at work.

The pros and cons of being married to an actor.

Y/N sat on the couch with her glass of wine in her hand. Memories of the horrible day raced through her mind. All she wanted right now was to wrap herself in her husband's arms.

Instead, she spent several hours sipping wine, watching a horrible reality show, with tears streaming down her face. When the front door opened, she let out a sigh of relief.

"You're home," Y/N said shakily as she put her empty glass of wine on the coffee table and stood up.

"Not for long!" Glen called out as he jogged upstairs. Just as soon as she was filled with hope, it shattered.

"Of course," she mumbled as she went to the kitchen and poured herself another glass. She walked back out as Glen ran down the stairs he just ran up, except now he was in different clothes.

"Sorry, babe. I gotta get going. I have a meeting and then. . ."

"I'm not surprised," she said, making him stop.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Seriously?" She scoffed. "Glen, this is the longest conversation we've had all month."

"And?" He shrugged. "We're both busy. You're the assistant to that big magazine producer."

"Eddie Morris," she sighed. "He's the editor of Vogue magazine."

"I said that," he brushed off. "What I was saying is that we're both busy. It happens to married couples who both work. It's normal."

"No, it's not, Glen."

"Of course it is," he shrugged grabbing his jacket from the closet and slipping it on. "Honey, it's difficult for married couples to both work and still have time for each other."

"Maybe that should tell us something," Y/N mumbled. "Glen, don't you think we should talk about that? We're never around each other and we never seem to mind. I'd really hate to say this, but maybe it would be easier for us to. . ."

"Don't say it," he said harshly as he turned around.

"It's not like I want a divorce," she tried to reassure him.

"You just said. . ."

"I  was going to say that we should talk to someone."

"Therapy?" Glen scoffed.

"Look, it's no secret that our marriage has been rough. We need to make more time for each other, Glen," she reworded. "We should take a break from our jobs and go on a trip or. . ."

"I can't take time off my work," he cut her off. "We're in the middle of a big movie. Plus, we're already behind and they haven't even finished writing the last few scenes. But your job is. . ."

"Not important?" Y/N finished for him. "Gee, thanks, Glen. Such a loving and supportive husband."

"I was just going to say that your schedule is a little more flexible than mine."

"I don't set my schedule, Glen," she corrected him. "Eddie does. And he's a bigger workaholic than you! Which means I get dragged along."

Y/N's voice broke at the end of the sentence, remembering the conversation she and Eddie had a few hours ago. Her husband didn't notice her whole expression change.

"Glen, I know you have a big important 'meeting' at the nearest bar with your costars," Y/N continued, the tone of her voice different, "but I really need to talk to you."

"Can we talk later?" He sighed, not hiding his annoyance. "I don't have time, Y/N."

"Glen, please," she said, her voice breaking. "I really need some time with my husband—just him and me. No work. No phones. No distractions. I need to tell you that I was talking to Eddie today and he decided to. . ."

"I have to go, Y/N," he cut her off.

"Of course you do!" Y/N laughed harshly, her anger from the events of the day finally bursting. "Considering your work is sooo important to you. Much more important than your wife."

"Come on, Y/N," he sighed. "That's not fair."

"Isn't it?" Y/N scoffed. "We are in the middle of a fight and you're choosing your job over me. Like you always do. You know what, Glen? Go. Go to work. And when you get home at 2 AM, you can sleep on the couch."

* * * * *

Y/N wasn't sure what time Glen got home. She went to bed after finishing the bottle of wine and didn't hear him get home. Glen got home a little after 3 am. He kicked off his shoes and instantly went upstairs to their bedroom. With his hand on the door handle, he froze. His argument with Y/N replayed in his mind.

He softly opened the door and saw her asleep in their bed. He wanted to wake her up and apologize over and over again. He wanted to take three months off so he could spend time with his wife and take her away from here and her job. . .

Her job. Something happened with her job yesterday and he left her.

He took a step into their room to talk to her but stopped. She had told him to sleep on the couch. He didn't want to. He wanted to wake her up and spend all night talking.

But he didn't. He turned around, closed the door gently, and walked back downstairs. He sat on the couch and instantly ran his fingers through his hair. He laid down, his mind racing through what could've happened to Y/N at work.

A few hours later, he woke up with his entire back aching. He froze when he heard her coming down the stairs. He sat up and watched Y/N come downstairs.

"Morning," he said to get her to acknowledge him.

"Morning," Y/N whispered as she walked into the kitchen. Glen watched as she walked over and poured herself a cup of coffee. Glen slowly stood up and tried not to stretch out his back in front of her.

She was now sitting at the table, slowly drinking her coffee. When he walked in, she froze but didn't look up at him. He poured himself a cup of coffee and leaned against the counter.

"How'd you sleep?" He asked, trying to get her to talk to him.

"Fine," she mumbled. He looked down and saw that she was still in her pajamas when she was usually in her work clothes at this time.

"Shouldn't you be getting ready for work?" Glen asked as he numbly drank the coffee.

"I would," she sighed. "But I don't work there anymore."

"Wait, what?" He roughly put down his cup on the counter and ran over to her. He knelt next to her and gently put his hands on her knees. "What happened, sweetheart?"

"It doesn't matter," she tried to brush off. She stood up, making Glen's hands fall off her knees. "Don't you have to get to work?"

"I'm calling in sick," he said, waiting for her reaction. Y/N turned around and studied him.

"You're serious?"

"Yeah," he said, walking over to her. "Turns out my wife needs some attention and she needs her husband to cheer her up."

Y/N threw her arms around Glen's neck, practically jumping into his arms, as she pressed her lips to his. Glen instantly caught her and started kissing her back.

"I'm really sorry about your job," he whispered, his forehead pressed to hers.

"I'm honestly not," she shrugged, leaning back.

"Let's get some bagels and we can talk about everything."

"Thank you," Y/N said with tears in her eyes. Glen leaned in and kissed her.

"I'm really sorry about making you think that my job is more important than you," he said, tightening his arms around her. "It's not true. Nothing is more important than you, Y/N. I love you."

"I love you too, Glen," she whispered, her voice breaking. He leaned in and kissed his wife. He broke the kiss with a playful smirk.

"Does this mean I don't have to sleep on the couch anymore?"

[dtupdating]

DREAM replied to another Reddit post!

Transcript under the cut!

Ludwig slightly misremembered, and didn't explain in a super fair way imo it makes me sound way worse than what actually happened

tldr;

I dmd ludwig suggesting he make a video, and offering myself for questions

ludwig replied and eventually said that I jokingly called one of his friends a whore

Due to the fact that a friend of Nicolas Cantu's had recently falsely said that "I got slapped at a party for calling a girl a whore", I asked him if that's what it was about.

He said no, and that he can't tell me more information because he doesn't think it's worth resurfacing it for her sake

I replied with a message about that, and then said I'd also provide context to the other situation just in case he was just telling me it's not about that situation (to "protect" the person's identity) even though it was, because I had no idea about any other situation.

Here's the important parts of that message that I sent him:

oh well unfortunately I guess I can't talk about this because I don't know what you're talking about at all, but I will say this as a general statement; A lot of people spread false stuff about me, or exaggerate, and have done it a lot ESPECIALLY during all of this stuff going on, as it's easy to sensationalize things because of how "hated" I seem. Intentionally, OR unintentionally. I have had to clear up so many different false stories of me being weird, or just a total shit bag, because the rumor mill runs super fucking strong when you're getting shit on 24/7. And every time it's just "oh okay that makes sense". It's not always someone lying, but it's almost always someone not realizing that exaggerating and mischaracterizing what they're saying can be a big deal, and isn't something they should do. I have never randomly called someone a whore, I have never called someone a whore derogatorily, and I would never do that.

I will completely and fully say that I have called friends of mine jokingly whore's / sluts / whatever, GUYS ANDS GIRLS, but only with people that joke along with it, or have expressly said they don't care, and again, only with friends of mine. This situation has been a lesson to just never say it at all though, because it's being used to make me out as a bad person. I would never use it that way, never ever meant anything negative when I've ever said it, and never have used it to insult or demean anyone, in any way.

I don't know the situation you're talking about, and obviously it's seemingly a bad look to have "multiple instances" where I called a girl a whore lmao, but I just cannot fathom that I called a stranger a whore, even jokingly, regardless of whether I was drunk or not. If I actually did, I would absolutely want to apologize and clear up anything that I possibly can with them, because it's upsetting to know that I made anyone upset or made them feel badly. I would like to say though, that it's not unreasonable to think that it is a misrepresentation of what actually happened, or is being looked at through a negative tint given recent events, when if this wasn't all going on, it would've been viewed as "oh that's obviously a joke". Given the fact that I have been a bit of a punching bag for a bit online, and you never know what motivations people have to spread things. Idk when this would've been as well, because like I said, the Nicolas stuff was pretty eye opening in a lot of ways, including specifically how people feel about those words in general. Which I never really thought about, and again, I've always been extremely careful and delicate with how I interact with anyone I've just met.

I NEVER would demean or speak down on someone like that. If that did actually happen, it was naivety on my part and not malice, and it's a word I'm removing from my vocabulary, and I hope I get a chance to apologize to them. But again, I have no idea what you're specifically talking about, so I probably won't get a chance, or even confirmation that it happened.

Either way, I understand why he didn't reply (I sent walls of text) and don't fault him for it. Although, the way this was said is annoying!

[pomrania]

I got Kingdom Hearts. My knowledge of it is limited to a) osmosis and b) this one fic I'd read which is from the perspective of some antagonists who aren't very popular among the fandom. BUT one of the things I know about Kingdom Hearts is that it's nigh-impossible to explain (or UNDERSTAND) its plotline, and apparently there's important plot beats in games which practically nobody has played and might not even be accessible any more.

Thus, this is a test of my ability to bullshit. Can I make up something plausible enough quickly enough that I don't get suspected? Because my only chance of success here is to claim that I'm explaining the Complicated Stuff, where the other person is likely to buy it (or at least not believe that it's incorrect) even if they're already a KH fan.

In my favour, there's the fact that I naturally speak quickly and jump between topics seemingly at random, so it's NORMAL for people to not be able to follow what I'm saying. So that wouldn't tip someone off if they already know me, AND it'll make it easier to hide any lapses or slips. In my... whatever's the opposite of "favour" in this context, there's the fact that I barely know the relevant vocabulary, and "whatsit" and "thinger" can only go so far before people start to suspect that you don't actually know the word at all, which is a problem when it's like, basic enemy types, or major story beats. And also I'm just plain not good at improv, I tend to either break off and stare off into space, or burst into giggles.

If you give me a few minutes to prepare (which I'd do by skimming the TV Tropes page), I'm like 80% that I could leave a casual KH fan (or someone who's really into just the gameplay aspect of it) thinking that I suck as a conversational partner, but not realize that I know frick-all about KH. If the other person's sole knowledge of Kingdom Hearts is that it's "a game, and I think Mickey is there", I could seem like an expert, no doubt about it, wouldn't even need to prepare (worst case scenario, I start describing something from that fic I'd read, but it's not like they know enough about Kingdom Hearts to say that that's NOT what happened in canon). If the other person has roughly the same level of knowledge as me, and I'm not allowed to prepare, the second-greatest risk (the FIRST-greatest is my aforementioned problems with improv) is if they ask me something because they're not sure about it, and my bullshitted answer happens to contradict one of the things they DO actually know from osmosis.

First off, spin this wheel.

You just landed on one of 200 fandoms that have been very popular somewhere on Tumblr over the years. Topics were chosen either from appearing on a @fandom end-of-year recap or from my own long (long, long) site memories before that.

also all of these fandoms are definitely things that really exist in the real world and none of them are Tumblr creations

[entertext]

HGSN 33-1

Chapter (Japanese)

(Please hit the green thumbs up at the end of the Japanese chapter to show support)

Rough translation by me

P1

(sign: Tenban Retreat)

(sign: Udekari Specialty: Mountain Forage Ice Cream - Take a break after a long hike!)

--

(sign: Are your eyes fatigued? - Takahashi Optometry)

Asako: So, our ancestors offered heads to that "hole"?

Tanaka: That's right.

P2

Asako: You're super suspicious, mister, but I guess you really are a researcher...

Tanaka: I'm no good at dealing with other people, sorry about that.

Tanaka: You've heard of the folktale, "The Farmer's Head", right? It's the hole from that story.

Asako: "The Farmer's Head"? I've heard it...The one everyone gets told?

Asako: (If I remember, the farmer was greedy and tried to hide the mushroom in the hole when his head came off...)

Asako: (...what was the reason the head came off again?)

Tanaka: Now listen

P3

Tanaka: To close the hole

Tanaka: There are two different methods

Tanaka: The first is what I said before, the method where a person crosses to the other side to close it.

Tanaka: But for that, you or I would have to die.

Tanaka: So we'll go with the second method: making a monster close it instead

P4

Asako: Make a monster close it... I see! Then that sounds like a plan!

Tanaka: No, we could still totally die, hahaha!

Tanaka: There's just a small chance we won't

Tanaka: That's why it helps that you're here. You can hear them but can't see them right?

Asako: Yes...Right now, its only my left ear, but I can basically only hear them...I can't do anything else...

Tanaka: That's actually better for us

P5

Asako: You're saying it's better not to see them...?

Tanaka: When you heard a voice from that house before, you thought it was a cat, right?

(??: i'm a cat i'm a cat i'm a cat)

Tanaka: Just like that time

Tanaka: Carelessly giving something a form is very bad

Asako: Giving something a form...

Tanaka: It's next to impossible for a human to accept something formless as is. So...

P6

Tanaka: We give it a name and for the first time recognize what it is.

(label: Circle)

Tanaka: This isn't a bad thing per se. It's what's necessary for humans.

Tanaka: But reality is complex and filled with things that can't be easily categorized

Tanaka: All the more so for the world of monsters

Tanaka: The moment you fit it into a human value system

(label: Cat)

Tanaka: You become unable to discern its true nature

P7

Asako: Um...In other words, it's important to think without deciding something is "definitely this!"?

Tanaka: Well, that's about right. That's why not being able to see them is an advantage in this world

Asako: ?

Tanaka: People only see what they want to see. The moment a person sees one, they'll always fit it into some form

Tanaka: And an impurity given form will also be able to look back at them

Tanaka: Like that, "eyes" create a connection between you and an impurity.

P8

Tanaka: That means that when people like us make contact with monsters, we have to look with eyes beyond that of a human

Tanaka: To earnestly look at only what's in front of us

Tanaka: If you don't try to know it one-to-one without fitting it into a human framework

Tanaka: That "connection" will rip the rug out from under you.

Asako: That sounds like it's really difficult...

Tanaka: ...well, if someone could really do that perfectly, they wouldn't be human anymore.

P9

Asako: I don't know anything about the thing inside 'Hikaru' either...

Tanaka: From what's been observed, there are tons of them, but... it's an unknown existance that very rarely appears in this world and grants people's wishes

Tanaka: ...that's all we know about them. Well, knowing that you don't know something is still the first step forwards

Tanaka: Anyway, you have the advantageous power to hear without seeing.

Tanaka: Using that...

P10

Tanaka: I'd like for you to be "interpreter" for our negotiations with the monsters.

(sfx: trembles)

==

Extras:

1 - (link)

2 - (link)

Asako: How come you only ever ea-...like sweets?

Tanaka: My taste buds are dead and I can't taste anything but sweetness!

Asako: Huh? Huh?? So do you just eat ice cream everyday??

Tanaka: Toothpaste tastes good too!

[technically-a-kiwi]

Part 1 | Part 2

Dear god, to think this journey began with this little goober I drew back in March...

I'm serious when I say all of this I've never planned, it was litteraly ment to just be a post with the title "Oh shit, Nebula Noise" and then bam, I'd go down my marry ways, but no, it's as if the story wrote itself in my head, it's the main reason why this AU has so little bound lol, it's as if C Noise had a mind of it's own from then on and decided to continue his story. I'm so glad all of this happened, so so grateful, I guess the journey choose me and not the other way around :)

Here's the evolution of the main two

It just got a lot cleaner as I learned as an artist, quite satisying to see hehe

now for the chef:

Holy shit how I absolutelly STRUGGLED with C Pep, design and colors, everything was a mess, I just have pages and pages of failed attemps. Funny how the character that wasn't ment to exist in the first place turned out to be my personal fav and the most important face of the AU lol. I'm so glad I went ahead and design him, you little ray of sunshine ❤ .

And finally, I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who went through with me in this journey, by making fanarts, writing stories, commenting or just liking my AU, it means a lot for me that so many people complimented on my designs, on the colors I choose, it always went strait to my little kiwi heart ❤ .

Btw, do you know how the multiverse came about ? "Oh, it's Cosmic Peppino who bakes it", yeah sure, but that's not all, C Pep bakes the universes to bring them to reality sure, but do you really think he invents all those universes ? Ha ! C Pep is a terrible writer ! He only gives universes a physical form, the one making the multiverse... is you :)

You who draws your favorite characters, you who writes amazing scenarios, you who daydreams of incredible adventures. All of you is an importent part of the multiverse, so never stop imagining, never stop drawing and never stop writing ;)

Either that or Cosmic Pep gets unemployed...

Anyway, many thanks to all of you and good bye 🥝✨✨✨

[plurapony]

Can you Self-Diagnose DID?

This question comes up from time to time and it gets pretty heated! Some people firmly believe you can't and others believe you can...

But what does it actually mean to self diagnose? A diagnosis really only exists to be a tool to identify symptoms and find solutions. Self diagnosis is just the act of trying the solutions before the actual diagnosis has been formalised!

Sure DID is a complex disorder but it also has its signs! Who would have thought a disorder where you literally hear other voices inside your head can have telltale signs???!! Crazy I know!! For me personally I self diagnosed myself with a million other things before DID, I'd wake up not knowing who I was or where I am - I must have a sleeping disorder! I am not myself and my body is overtaken by someone else - come on there's gotta be an explanation that's not DID!

It really does differ from person to person but for some? The symptoms are so incredibly obvious! Before I knew I had DID my wife would tell me over and over I'm not acting like myself, she knew it wasn't me - I was different!

So, yeah! You can self diagnose DID absolutely! Some people (like myself) have overt DID where the symptoms become very very obvious to myself and those around me, which of course makes speculation easier. However with that being said!

A self diagnosis should only ever be to help with treatment and for speculation purposes. It does not and SHOULD NOT replace a formal diagnosis. A formal diagnosis is still incredibly important and helpful and when you're able, you should still seek to obtain it!!!!

[crystal-rebellion]

I dunno if this is helpful, but I find that the texture of a lot of commercial lotions to be unpleasant, to the point where I can't/won't use them. I've been making my own soaps for several years, so it was only natural to try making my own lotions too. Discovering that the type of oil in the lotion and the water-to-oil ratio is basically what controls the texture, I feel like I've unlocked a new super power.

Obviously this won't help folks who can't stand it on their hands at all, but for those crafty types who are fishing for a kind they can tolerate, here's a recipe to make your own. I pretty much exclusively use my own now and it's really helped.

I don't find it super difficult, and no dangerous chemicals like with soap. It probably won't be budget-friendly to start, because you'll likely need some extra ingredients you don't already have lying around, but you use so little of them when you make it that it can last for a long while. If you end up liking it and start making it regularly, I feel like it is less expensive in the longer run. AND by controlling which ingredients go into it, I can make lotion I actually can stand to have on my skin, which has really helped me use it more.

tldr for other soapers just wanting to know which oils I like? Avocado. That's it. Soft, creamy, not oily, not tacky, no residue.

Make your own 👇🥑🧴

I've linked ingredients out to Amazon because I know rural folks rely on it, and people with a need to do this asap will want things immediately (hello thats me). My go-to supplier outside of Amazon is company located in Washington state named Brambleberry, and they will also have all of this stuff (they also donate to some good charities, too.). It will take a bit longer, and there will be a shipping fee too, so see what works best for you. (They have amazing fragrances, too, if that's your bag. For anyone who's tried my soap, most of my fragrances come from them.)

Note 1: Everything is measured by weight. These numbers look a little rando because my (round number) recipe makes like, a buttload of bottles, so I've reduced the recipe it to about 10-12 ounces of lotion)

Note 2: This lotion recipe makes a creamy, moderately thick lotion. If your texture preference is more on the runny side, you can up the water content. I haven't experimented with it too much, so I'd guess 30 grams, but play with it and have fun. You can't do harm with this.

Water: 187.5 grams (Distilled ideal, filtered tap works fine.)

Oil: 37.5 grams (Avocado Oil; can also be found in many local grocers as well as Costco. Olive Oil works well too, but in my experience, it's a little more oily in the lotion.)

Emulsifying Wax: 12.5 grams (binds the oil to the water and lets it mix)

Stearic Acid: 10 grams (thickening agent and stabilizer to keep it from separating back out)

Optiphen Preservative: 2.5 grams (this is important; since lotion is 75% water, unless you intend to use all of your lotion within a week, you will grow fuzzies in it without this; if you want to do some research on alternatives, you'll want to look for oil-based preservative)

Optional: Fragrance* or essential oil of your choice: .7 grams (Or a few drops)

Other things you need: Kitchen Scale, container for the lotion, stick blender/egg beater/whisk, two microwave-safe bowls. Glass preferred, plastic okay as long as its microwave safe. One bowl will ultimately need to be large enough to hold all of the ingredients combined.

THERMOMETER - this dude is amazing and would recommend just having one in general. Regular stick ones work fine, but will be slow.

Safety gear needed: None, really. Gloves if you don't like the texture of the lotion.

That's it! That's all that goes in your lotion! As someone who also makes soap, I do not use the same bowls for my cooking as my crafting. But for lotion, you can use cooking bowls. Just... wash them well after, or your next meal may taste like ass.

Because I make products to sell to other people, I run all my equipment through a brewing sanitizer - including the bottle(s) and pumps the lotion will be in, just to be super duper sure that no fuzzies get introduced. Basically just fill the sink with hot water, toss in a capful or two and then rinse. I'll leave it up to you if you want to skip this step or not for personal use, it's kind of an annoying one.

HERE WE GO

If you're going to disinfect, do that first. Only items that need to be totally dry is the bowl you'll be putting your oil in.

In one bowl, weigh out your oil of choice, the emulsifying wax, the stearic acid and heat it slowly in the microwave in bursts of about 20 seconds, stopping to stir. Eventually the emulsifying wax and the stearic acid will have melted into the oil.

In a separate bowl, measure out your water, and warm it in the microwave as well, until it's about the same temperature as your oil/wax/acid mix.

With your stick blender/egg beater/whisk handy (if you have a stick blender available, use this. Your hand will thank you. This can be done with a whisk, but it takes longer.), add the two sets of ingredients together into whichever bowl is larger and whisk. Relatively quickly, it should go from this translucent oil to a milky, creamy color. Good. No need to keep mixing once it's milky and uniform.

We want to wait until the temperature drops to below 140F (60C) before adding in the preservative (otherwise the heat will break it down and make it useless). If adding any fragrance, then would also be the time to do so, and blend a bit more to make sure it's all mixed in.

And that's it! Pour it into your container of choice! The warmer it is when you pour it, the more 'liquid' it will be. As it cools, it will thicken and become creamier.

Handling the hot lotion is safe, other than if the temperature is too warm. This particular recipe is very creamy; if you like your lotion more runny, then add more water as you're blending it.

And that's it, you've made lotion. It can be used immediately, even straight from the bowl.

Happy lotion making!

Note on fragrances:

*If you are using a fragrance, please make sure it's skin safe. Adding more than the suggested amount to the recipe could cause irritation on the skin. Most 'fragrances' sold at stores like Walmart are intended for oil diffusers and may not be skin-safe. Essential oils are usually fine since they're being diluted by the lotion; never apply them directly to the skin. The shop I like for my purchases, Brambleberry, has a bazillion fragrances, and each one details what it can and cannot be used for. (Not an affiliate link, I just really like them. Great equipment if you're interested in actually doing it seriously. Tons of tutorials too; pretty much how I got into the craft in the first place.)

cracked and bleeding hands are not more tolerable than the feeling of lotion

[perfectlysanexd]

how do you manipulate the in-game camera to get screenshots from different angles in FF7? I got Rebirth for my computer and some of the things you've pointed out in your shots are really amazing (Sephiroth's look of affection at the Edge of Creation is a personal standout). I'd love to be able to do that too

I'm happy to share with you! 🥰 The trick is that it's a mod, so after Rebirth comes out, you may have to wait just a little while for it to become compatible, but I'll tell you my setup for Remake. Rebirth will be a tidbit different, since it runs on Unreal Engine 5 instead of 4, like Remake. Still, the process should be about the same. 🤔The beauty of having the game on PC is being able to use lovely mods, and I get 99% of them on Nexus.

On this page here, you will find all the information you could need about the Universal Unreal Engine Unlocker, or UUU for short(the link is for Unreal 5, so this should be the one you need). The download link at the top will take you to his Patreon, and I did pay $6 at the time for a one-month subscription to him in order to download it. I was able to keep using it all this time without any updates, it's a very solid program. But you may want to wait just a couple months to make sure it's a solid version with FF7R compatibility before you pledge on Patreon and download it. Then you won't have to worry about bugs and such. If you have the means, you can continue to pledge to him and receive updates, I just don't have the means to do that every month. I know that the instructions look extremely long and daunting, and a lot of it is very technical, talking about all the things it can do. So I'll just give you the simple guide, with the easy things you need to know.

...I have a feeling that I'm going to exceed the character limit, so I'll just put this in Word and screenshot it for you to make it easier on everyone, haha...

In my case, my computer is meant for 1920x1080 resolution. So I use a program called Flawless Widescreen, which looks like this:

Next, the camera...

The other part of the camera that's important is the lighting ability. It won't work in every part of every scene(for some reason), but it's quite useful most of the time.

Once I have my light in place, time to use Flawless Widescreen. I just alt+tab to bring it up, then increase the resolution as high as it will go. Once in a while, it will seem to blur the camera a bit and I may have to readjust it.

After that, the character's hair(and everything else) will look smooth and beautiful~...there are other things to consider, such as if you'll need a hook in order to have an ini file, but that's more in the fine details, which varies from game to game. It depends on how the settings are in Rebirth, which may be just fine if they did it right, and how your computer runs those settings, which may be also fine if you have a beast of a machine. You may think that the colors seem washed out from what I'd usually post, and you're right. The rest is what you might call post-processing, which are the things I do with GIMP(GNU Image Manipulation Program). That would be a different tutorial, but I wouldn't mind doing it if you're interested.

[galactic-knightmare]

Do you have any tips on how to draw Caine? I’m trying and failing to do it consistently qwq

I'm sure you'll get it eventually! I'm not the best at explaining things but I can at least tell you what helps me with drawing him? (I suck at giving tips m sorry ^^;;) With Caine I feel like the pose is pretty important- he's a showman, even if he's feeling like shit, so it helps with him to have him in more showy, 'classy' poses, kinda like this.

the fun thing with Caine though is that he's a bit of a chaos gremlin too, so you can get away with throwing him in absolutely ridiculous poses too (for example, the stupid sauce ask pics lmao) and he'll still generally have that feel. with him I like to do a mix of Dramatic, Classy poses and absolute random wriggly gremlin energy poses lmao (He's not generally on the ground like this unless I like a pose and just force him out of the air lmao) The main thing I'd suggest is planning out the teeth. it probably helps to know how many teeth a human has/have a picture of it, although personally I don't do that- I kinda just wing it.

I'll usually just line out the teeth like this, even though I don't generally draw them individually anymore, that way I don't end up making them look weird. not to mention it helps me figure out where I need to put his fangs. admittedly you don't need to pay all that much attention to the teeth, I just prefer to be careful- if I'm not paying attention, I run the risk of giving him too much teeth like my first few pictures of him, and uhh...

I don't think anyone wants this LMAO Anyway that's all I can really think of, so hopefully that helps? Generally with Caine's design he's very top-heavy, so big head, big chest, thin everything else ig lmao.

[hms-no-fun]

this is like the first Big Transfem Question (whether your egg cracked because someone asked "if you could press a button and be always born a girl right now would you," or whether you just came out to someone for the first time and they asked "omg so are you gonna get/have you gotten The Surgery?") and everyone has their own answers, and their answers often change over time.

i know when i first came out i was pretty firmly disinterested in bottom surgery. part of this was a consequence of having tomboy gender and not really having much bottom dysphoria after HRT made unwanted erections a thing of the past. i felt deeply conflicted about the expectation that as a trans woman obviously i wanted to pursue Traditional Femininity. it quickly grew apparent to me that the pathway to the kind of polished acceptable transness you see in media is a lot of expensive procedures and surgeries and training, and as a lifelong broke bitch i resented that. especially when a trans youtuber made a jab at a clocky transfem earning her transmisogynistic harassment by essentially not trying hard enough to be a woman, that's when it really crystallized for me that i wanted nothing to do with this kind of post-drag-race bitchy high femme gender superiority. it's one thing to say that it's hard work to pass in public as a tall clocky trans girl; it's another thing entirely to act like it's her fault that she's clocky when there are real material and structural roadblocks to her reaching the standard of femininity you're expecting (to say nothing of whether or not she even WANTS to be that kind of feminine). so for me, surgery and laser and vocal training all got wrapped up in this tangle of resentful obligation that i neglected out of spite. i wanted to be a woman in a queer way, not in an assimilationist way.

but like, i did and kinda still do have that baby-trans feeling of like... well, if i could go back in the oven right this second and just sorta swap out for a vagina, i'd do it. this distinction felt important to me because i read a lot of posts about how sex for post-op trans women didn't feel the way they hoped it would, that the sensations were number and the recovery times were terrible and having to dilate was immensely painful and came with huge complications if you didn't maintain it. like there's that awful blaire white clip where she just straight up calls her vaginoplasty "an open wound" that's always trying to heal, and even as you know that's bullshit you kinda can't help but see gruesome post-surgery pics and recovery timelines and be like... well damn idk if i want to put myself through that!

what i've come to understand is that so so so so much of this perception discourse is colored by self selection bias. people don't post when they're pussy is working correctly. people don't post when the sex is good. i mean, maybe they do, but they don't post it in the same places they'd post recovery pics and ask for transition advice. someone who avidly posts through their post-op recovery probably stops posting once their new situation starts feeling normal. you can create the impression for yourself reading this stuff that the gauzy bloody swollen recovery phase lasts forever and is basically the entire experience. on top of that you can convince yourself that the end result never looks like a "real" vagina, because even after the gross part is over and done with it still takes months to a year or more for it to settle into its final shape. so there's ten million pictures of obvious post-op pussies because people post through it when they're sad, then time passes and you learn the rhythm of your new anatomy as it grows into itself, and the whole thing stops feeling like a such big deal. none of which is visible in the posts.

i've now had several friends go through various forms of gender affirming surgery, and the biggest surprise to me has been that it really doesn't seem THAT bad? somehow i got it in my head that these recovery timelines could stretch out for aaaaaaaages, but a friend of mine got the cadillac of bottom surgeries that used a bit of stomach tissue for the interior (paid for with medicaid) and she was back up on her feet in, like, two months-- albeit with serious restrictions on vigorous motion. sure, it seemed uncomfortable, but nowhere NEAR the level i was expecting. dilating is just free time for her to watch anime. same for top surgery, same for an orchi-- there's like a brief window of time where it's an inconvenience, and maybe complications can arise but generally? it kinda just seems like not a big deal. it's not this horribly traumatic invasive disgusting painful process-- it can be some of those things, probably it will be at least one of them for some amount of time, but very likely not all of them and not all at once and rarely to the extreme that we're sometimes led to believe.

honestly, the most annoying, invasive, violating part of surgery is getting the surgery approved. which is fucking hilarious considering the conservative firestorm against trans people is like 80% predicated on the assertion that trans people have too easy access to surgery. are you kidding me??? every trans person i know who has gotten any procedure, afab or amab, has had to get multiple letters from doctors/psychologists, gone through the assessment steps with a healthcare provider and surgeon, then had the whole approval process drag on long enough that their letters expired (a thing letters can do, apparently) which meant having to get new ones which meant pushing back the timeline again. like the level of pathologization and infantalization around essentially medically means-testing these procedures is fucking gonzo. it is a demeaning, demoralizing process ESPECIALLY if you have medicaid, where a parade of medical professionals take turns debating whether or not you're one of the crazy ones who's just doing it for kink and will immediately sue for malpractice afterwards (a cohort that definitely exists in real life), and it can go on for YEARS! if you're a working class trans woman who has to constantly prove her poverty to stay on food stamps, or maintain disability payouts, or just access any social program at all your free time is already dominated by these insanely accusatory administrative burdens that are constantly on the lookout for any excuse to cut you off because you're presumed to be an aspiring welfare queen. so to add the dehumanizing rigmarole of getting gender affirming surgery on the pile as an expected step of transition, at a time when even the nominally left party in the united states wants to make accessing such care even harder, is genuinely so fucking cruel on so many levels it defies my ability to discuss them without going into a frothy-mouthed rage (not very feminine of me, i know).

but the upshot of this is, i've now seen that despite all these burdens, surgery is worth it. most every trans person i know who's gotten one has come away feeling, in some sense, better than they expected. i don't want to oversell it as this like magically perfect experience, it's not, and obviously i haven't gotten surgery myself so i can only speak to what others have told me. but like someone i know got an orchi a couple months ago, and she went in worried about retaining sexual function only to come out after a few weeks of recovery feeling hornier than ever. her bottomwear fit better and made her feel less dysphoric. and somehow, psychologically, it was like a weight lifted off her mind. she felt different, truer to herself in some way. i've seen first hand the nuclear explosion of euphoria the first time a trans girl can really BOUNCE her post-op breasts. conversely i've witnessed the astonishing transformation of a trans man after top surgery, how his entire wardrobe and physical presence completely turned on its head and suddenly he just exuded self-ness. and all of these are trans people who spent years on waiting lists, struggling through letter expiries and clinic closures and staff changes and policy updates and inconsistent insurance requirements. all of them went through a period of recovery, and while some had complications that made their recovery difficult, nobody i know regrets it.

so, yeah, idk. i'm still on the fence about surgery for myself-- i think i'd like an orchi? or perhaps one of those really experimental surgeries where you get a bit of both. i'm certainly still intimidated by a lot of aspects of the process, but it's not scary to me the way it seemed when i first started transitioning. i guess if there's any message to this post it's that this is why having IRL queer community is so important. you might not feel brave enough to get surgery yourself, but someone else is, and maybe by being friends with them through the process (maybe by taking care of their cats while they're stuck in the hospital) you can slowly demystify it and realize that maybe you had the wrong impression all along.

A question for transfems, pick the option that matches the closest to you:

---

Option for nontransfems that want to click buttons: here.

[xuzuul]

Rant about the Yokai Watch fandom

TWs: Mentions of child sexualisation, Internet creeps, and fandom issues

I will be making a DNI list sometime in the near future with some of this stuff on it too, fandom is supposed to be fun and we can't let the creeps ruin that.

Remember, my DMs are open for those who want to talk or get some of their feelings about these problems off their chest. Or if you just want a friend during these tough times.

Rant below the cut.

Hey okay so. Can't believe I have to make this but. If you're someone who sexualises any of the Yokai Watch characters (especially the children) get off my blog. Get out. I'm sick of seeing my favourite characters (keep in mind, this is a children's show, and most of the fans are minors) drawn/depicted in this way. It's mainly Nate Adams (Yes I've seen all that, you know who you lot are, get out.) but I've seen others too. It's really upsetting. I know Tumblr is far from the worst website in terms of this issue (Cough cough Pinterest and Reddit cough cough) but this is the website where I, and a lot of others upset by this problem, reside and I'd hate for anyone else to see all that too. Especially since this fandom is mostly minors.

Sorry for this rant but, if you are one of the people sexualising my and many others' favourite characters, get off my blog and get out of my notes. My blog is a safe space for everyone and I don't want people like this around me or my friends. I know this fandom is a cesspool and there's hardly anything I can do, but my friends and my special interest (Yokai Watch) are more important to me than these Internet creeps will ever be.

My DMs are always open for those upset by the state of this fandom or the people/issues in it, if anyone needs to talk or get these fandom issues off their chest, I'm always open.

^ Me loving all my Yokai Watch friends and my cool moots (We will support eachother through this):

[eye-merely-jest]

hrrghgghbmnnmm x-men evolution nightcrawler….

i actually didn't care for him when i first started watching evo 'cause i thought him annoying as shit but now that is PRECISELY why i'm obsessed with him. Weird Kid™ kurt is just such an endearing concept and it's like he's just like me and I FUCKING LOVE THIS GUY SO MUCH

[starflungwaddledee]

some rather strong first impressions were made.

required reading for the magical "voice" headcanon and another for starstruck's signature in particular. asked by @trainerbob23 !

[feroluce]

For reasons to be expanded upon at a later date (because I love the little bits about Boothill and possible paranoia/betrayal canon gives us so very dearly HNGH) I think Boothill like... He won't let himself fall into disrepair or anything of course, but he reeeeeeeeeeally does not like letting other people poke around at his body. It's a necessary evil to him. He does whatever maintenance and repairs he can himself. He started out with a massive knowledge deficit, simply because he didn't really have any exposure to that kind of technology until he left Aeragan-Epharshal, but he's taught himself a lot since then, he worked really hard at it!

Anyway, the point being, Boothill generally isn't super trusting of people.

But I think he would come to make an exception for Himeko, since he trusts Dan Heng a lot, and Himeko is one of Dan Heng's once-in-a-lifetime dearly beloved companions.

Himeko is so unflappable, I don't think she would even bat an eye about anything he throws at her, either. Like she enters the Parlor Car one morning (she's always the first one up) and Boothill is already there, waiting for her.

"Mornin', Madam Navigator."

"Good morning, Mr. Boothill."

And despite the fact that he blatantly broke into the Express (Pom-Pom is NOT happy about this JDKSAJDSKL), Boothill tips his hat, greets her politely, and is nothing but respectful when he says he has a favor to ask of her. Except it won't stay a favor long, of course- he has every intention of paying it back.

Himeko never agrees to things blindly, but she does bring up that all the knowledge Boothill contributed during the Charmony Festival was essential to preventing the universe from being pulled into Ena's Dream. And they were able to hold onto the Jade Abacus because Boothill used Tiernan's burial relic to summon the Galaxy Rangers instead. The Astral Express owes him a debt of gratitude, and besides, he's a friend of Dan Heng's. Of course she'll try to help him.

Boothill fidgets a bit, quickly brushes off the thanks, and tells Himeko he's having a problem with error codes. He keeps getting the same one, seemingly at random times, but the darn thing has no obvious cause. Dan Heng mentioned Himeko had been the one to rebuild the Astral Express. He knows it ain't the same, but it's not like he's askin' for any major repairs or nothin'. He was wonderin' if she could just take a look, maybe offer him some insight, since she seems to be somethin' of a mechanical wonder.

So Himeko walks him back to a another car, where she goes to tinker with machines without them crowding her bedroom. It's all neatly laid out and organized, and it only takes a second for Himeko to locate some specific device with a long cord. Instead of plugging it in herself, she holds the end of it out to him, like an offer rather than a demand, and Boothill visibly relaxes a bit. He still eyes it just a little warily for a second, but he accepts and plugs it into the port on his side.

Himeko pulls up the list of all recent errors, and they really are all the same. Boothill has had multiple temperature alarms over the past couple of weeks since the Charmony Festival, and they know it's not the environment, because Penacony is mostly dreamscape and kept mild year-round. The long-forgotten natural deserts are too far away.

Boothill is staring from the corner of his one good eye, so Himeko turns the hologram to let him see what she's doing easier. They don't appear to be false alarms. His internal temperature spikes and then slowly lowers again, high enough that if it lasted it would eventually cause damage.

One option is for her to start rooting through personal data, figuring out what he was doing at the time of each code, and tracing cause and correlation.

Instead, Himeko reads out the timestamps, and asks Boothill if he minds sharing what was happening around him when it occured.

Two weeks ago: He and Dan Heng went to explore Dreamflux Reef and found a bar- nice place, good atmosphere. Woman runnin’ it was a doll. Boothill left fer not even two minutes to get them drinks (Dan Heng knows like nothin’ about liquor, Madam Navigator, can you believe this guy) and when he came back, someone had already stolen his seat and was hittin’ on Dan Heng! Dan Heng didn't even care, just shooed ‘em off. Boothill laughed and said not to let him get in his way if he wanted to meet someone. Dan Heng looked at him like he'd grown a second head. Why would he want to leave with someone else, when he came here to be with Boothill?

Twelve days ago: While laying low- er, just rustlin’ up some grub- in the Moment of Blue, Boothill passed Dan Heng with March and Caelus playin’ on the beach, buildin’ sandcastles and the like. When he passed by again almost two hours later, they were still out there, with Dan Heng pullin’ March through the water on her inner tube and Caelus hangin’ off the back of it. He swam so fast! You'd think he was part water snake or somethin’. He looked happier ‘n a cat in a sunbeam… He has a nice smile, doesn't he?

Eleven days ago: Boothill was killin’ time in Dreamflux Reef when he turned the corner down a shady alley and saw Dan Heng, surrounded by three men demandin’ “protection money.” None of ‘em stood a chance, they were all on the ground before Boothill even blinked! So cool! Boothill wants to see that spear of his closeup- Anyway, Dan Heng stepped on one of ‘em on his way out, hahaha! Boothill stepped on the same guy a second time as he hurried to catch up.

Eight days ago: Here on the Express, actually. Boothill had mentioned bein’ curious about the archives, and Dan Heng personally invited him.

(“I remember that day, I saw you in the hall.” “Was there any problem with the heating that day?” “No, none. I don't think the temperature has anything to do with these error codes. I have a different theory, keep going.” “If ya say so.”)

Boothill was fascinated by an entry on aeons, and from a single question he asked about Lan, the two of ‘em ended up talkin’ fer hours. About aeons and Paths and Emanators, Acheron and Self-Annihilators, the Sea of Nihility, Tiernan, the Nameless and the Galaxy Rangers, their burial relics and their customs. Dan Heng finally just started writin’ and editin’ the entries in real time, with Boothill pointin’ things out and tellin’ him what to add in. They were at it so late that Boothill ended up sleepin' on a couch in one of the cars.

He'd figured there had to be something to make Dan Heng chatty- he'd caught just a glimpse of it that first night they met, sittin’ at the bar in the Reverie together. He'll have to ask about the archives more often, if it gets him all revved up like that.

One week ago: After that night of energetic discussion, Dan Heng was apparently hyped up, because after he'd downed some of Himeko's coffee (“You had some too, right? What did you think of it?” “It was great, even better'n chewin’ bullets!” "Thank you! That was my newest brew, I can't wait for everyone else to try it.") he actually asked Boothill to go hunting with him. Boothill asked who their target was, and was surprised when Dan Heng pulled out photos that looked like they were from March's camera, of all things, instead of a bounty or wanted poster.

And as he sat there, studying these pictures, Dan Heng explained that he wanted to hunt down these specific memory zone memes to record them into the archives. Planets with so much memoria are a rarity, especially with the Stellaron's activity thrown into the mix, which has surely affected the local “wildlife.” He might not get another opportunity like this for a long time. And Boothill had talked last night about his extensive expertise in tracking and hunting, so he should have plenty to offer here, Dan Heng would like to learn from his experience and see how he does things!

And oh, Madam Navigator, by the time Dan Heng was done speakin', his eyes were practically sparklin'! Just lit up like the sun! Boothill could scarcely believe it! The two of them couldn't even wait another day, they set out that very morning. It had been a long, long while since Boothill had tracked someone- er, somethin’- without the intent to capture or kill. It was…actually really nice. Nostalgic, but in a good way. It might even have been his favorite day on Penacony…so…far…

Boothill trails off as a couple of realizations crash into him. All the temperature alarms he's spoken about thus far- they've all happened in the company of Dan Heng. And now that he's thinking about it, he's pretty sure even the ones he hasn't yet talked about were with him, too. Dan Heng has been responsible for all of his error codes, every. single. one.

The screen in front of Himeko suddenly refreshes to the top of the list, displaying a new notification for the current time. Alert! Core temperature above normal range.

Himeko's knowing smile is sly as a snake.

Wwwwwelp, would ya look at the time, Boothill has some errands to meet, people to run, y’know how it is, he should really get goin'-

“Oh, Mr. Boothill? About that favor.” And Boothill jolts to a stop in the doorway because fudge, he can't just leave without hearing her out. He'd given his word. He has no problem running out on someone he thinks deserves it, but Himeko really had been kind to him to try and help him out. Her voice is just as knowing as her smile, Boothill can't turn around to look at her, or else he knows he won't be able to disguise the sound of his cooling fans kicking on.

“Don't make Dan Heng wait too long, ok~?”

“Y-Yes, ma'am.”