#I'd love to do asks more often tbh these are fun!!!

[xserpx]

morse for the ask game?

How I feel about this character?

(Caveating this with the fact I haven't yet watched Inspector Morse, so this is only about Endeavour.)

Normally I'm not at all a fan of whump and I don't like feeling sad for well-meaning characters who are hurt repeatedly through (mostly) no fault of their own, but I really love Morse's brand of melancholia. The way he struggles to deal with change is too damn real, I'm a sucker for characters who struggle to voice their feelings and whose anxiety causes them to say nothing, because bitch me too. I also like that he's shy but it's kind of a selective shyness? Like if you catch him at the right moment or say a certain thing, he can be very snappish and outspoken and even funny, but then in those (incredibly important!) moments where he feels truly vulnerable, he just clams up, and it's heartbreaking and delicious to watch.

It's also undeniable that he is a massive prick sometimes. His treatment of women, his pretentiousness, there are moments when I want to slap him upside the head and I'm like you deserve this shit buddy! Monica my beloved, she deserved so much better from him. As much as he craves deeper connections with people and as much as I really want him to find a place to belong and settle down, it's so clear why he can't, why he shouldn't, and it's so deep rooted that in a way if he actually made a more concerted to change and do better he'd pretty much be a different person. And I like that the show never compromises on providing answers or catharsis for his struggles. Change happens, that's life, and there's often no way to deal with it that doesn't hurt.

I also love his dark academia style and the way it's grounded in finding meaning/belonging. It's not that it doesn't give him a sense of superiority at times, but like... that was his rebellion in the face of anti-intellectualism and abuse at home, and in a way I feel like he's earned the right to that pretentiousness. I think it dilutes some of the intimidating effect that opera and classics and poetry can have - some people listen to the Beatles, he listens to Wagner, one thing isn't "better" than another - but without binning it off entirely so that we still get to enjoy the commentary on classism. Plus watching him school the Oxford dons is always fun :P.

All the people I ship romantically with this character?

Romantically, hmm... The trouble is I end up feeling sorry for either Morse himself or whatever woman he's got his eye on at the time!

I love Joan and Morse, and I'd love for them to work things out, but the more time passes the less and less suited they seem to be. It's one of those relationships that's more about yearning than it is about getting together. They struggle to communicate and they're constantly miserable. He puts her on a pedestal because of her family, and Joan likes him because he's an enigma, and they can't move past that. But at the same time, fanfic exists for a reason, and I still love the yearning despite it all.

I'm not sure if I ship it romantically per se, but Max is another one where I feel like they could be more than friends, they're very Sherlock and Watson (and this fic by gaytobymeres is so good I love it). That scene with Morse and Max having tea in Max's garden is one of my favourites in the series, and I want that life for Morse so badly! Literalllyyy at the end of Exeunt I was like dude just move in with Max!! He'll never leave Oxford! He'll come along to your choral recitals! You have way more interests in common than any of your girlfriends have thus far! And he's lonely too, bless him ;w;.

My non-romantic OTP for this character?

I don't think there's a single character I don't ship Morse with platonically?? All I want in the world is a pub quiz fic featuring all of Cowley CID (and Trewlove) but I'm not clever or patient enough to write it. I wish we had more teamwork episodes tbh, and I think that's the best thing about seasons 5 & 6 (as dissipated as CID is at the start, that just makes them coming back together all the more heartwarming).

Morse & Thursday are of course the freaking bedrock of the show, they're just insanely good and I genuinely want them to be together forever. As much as he misses Joan at the end, I really want a happy ending where Thursday and Morse can stay together. At the same time, what with the whole men in the 60s reinforcing one another's emotional repression, I kind of wonder what would've happened if Thursday had been able to steer Morse in a different direction, and if it would have had a knock-on effect with helping Morse express his feelings for Joan and maybe end up somewhere better. But their characters are so intertwined it's hard to separate out the what-ifs. I do think Thursday had more of an impact on Morse than Morse did on Thursday, but you could maybe chalk that up to age. Leopards don't change their spots, etc. Still... lamenting lost potential is what grief is.

I'm also a huge fan of Morse & Trewlove tbh, he's so relaxed around her?? He tells her stuff he never tells anyone else?? They fake marry?? Ridiculously sweet. They share the trait of being incredibly dedicated and detailed in their work, and it bleeds over into a genuine appreciation for one another that they don't really have with any of their other colleagues (save for maybe Trewlove & Bright, another fantastic platonic OTP in my book). I also can see them being friends w bennies but I def don't ship them romantically.

My unpopular opinion about this character?

Not sure if I have one tbh. I haven't been here long but I generally think the wider fandom has it right about most things. Maybe not including Jakes as some brand of OTP? I feel bad because I love Peter, I just don't see him and Morse being particular friends any more than Morse and Jim are tbh.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon.

Um, happiness. Just, all the happiness. I wish he could communicate better. I wish he'd had a better childhood. I wish his house hadn't been burgled and that he could still listen to Rosalind Calloway without taking emotional damage. I wish he hadn't been beaten down and that he could feel secure and safe, and have a fulfilled life outside of work. Great tragedies always keep the happy ending in sight, and Endeavour does that incredibly, painfully, well.

If I had to choose something specific to have happened in the show, I guess I would have liked to see more of Joyce. I'm fascinated by their relationship and I really loved every cameo from Morse's past that we saw, plus episodes like Cartouche with cousin Carol. Tbf I have heard that Joyce shows up more in Inspector Morse, so... 👀

[justalilstar]

asks for night terror!

💥 (Collision) - What’s your OC’s combat style like? Do they adhere to any particular code of honour or ethics in a fight, or are they totally unfettered by that sort of thing?

and also i keep asking this one everywhere because i think starstruck just wants to be friends soooo baad but:

💌 (Love Letter) - How easy are they to befriend? Are they more of a social butterfly or a lone wolf?

I haven't drawn comics in a very long time, but I hope these answered your questions!

[misshugs]

The elevator game || Colby Brock x Reader

[req by anon] You knew you were sensitive to the other side, but you didn't expect a silly little game from the internet to give you this much of an impact.

warnings: cursing, paranormal activity, reader getting (slightly) attacked by ghosts, sensitive/medium!reader, degrading, angst? still not sure what the meaning of it is tbh

a/n: this is my first request ever, i hope i didn't let you down dear anon. Concept based on this video

word count: 2.5k (not proofread)

[u n e d i t e d]

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

"What's up guys, it's Sam and Colby!" Colby screamed towards the camera, as always.

"Today we are here at the Driskill Hotel, also known as the most haunted hotel here in Texas." Sam continues.

"We're here to figure out why this place is so haunted and what message the ghosts here wanna tell the people. And for this video guys, we have a very special someone!" Colby says, moving to the side so that you're visible to the camera.

Waving at it and smiling, you were greeted by Colby's hands wrapped around your shoulders. "Thank you, thank you. Hello, dear people. It is I." They laugh.

"How are you feeling about this? Are you excited?" Sam asks, putting the camera on the both of you.

"I am! The place is HUGE and honestly, just looks so good!"

"Right?? When we got in it was just like a burst of shock at how gorgeous this place is." Sam said and Colby nodded.

"If it weren't haunted I'd probably come here more often, but I can already feel all of these... energies walking around, I wouldn't last too long."

"Oh, right. For anybody that doesn't know, Y/n is actually a bit of medium?" Colby asks while looking at you, making you nod. "Yeah, so she's sensitive to like the energy of shadow figures and things like that, so maybe we'll get to experience something interesting tonight!"

"I'd say hopefully not but that wouldn't make it fun I guess." You laugh and so do they while you explain it is a pain in the ass to feel those things constantly. "It is almost as if you're constantly paranoid about someone looking at you, y'know what I mean?"

"Oh yeah, for sure." Colby noded.

"Yeah so that, but those stares are more physical than anything, there are times where I can feel people walking behind me and when I look back, there's no one."

"I can just imagine how creepy that must feel." Sam said and you chuckled.

"Oh yeah. You have no idea." You smiled.

"Well then, shall we begin the investigation?" Colby asked you, smiling. You quickly smiled back.

"Of course." You kissed him softly before Sam could even turn off the camera.

"Oh, gross man. I'll have to edit that out." He said jokingly and you laughed, rolling your eyes.

"But seriously though, let's keep it moving." You said and they agreed.

Walking around, there were a few pieces of lore they had to explain to you beforehand. About the one and only Driskill who created the hotel, about the little girl that broke her neck, so on and so forth.

There were times when you had this eerie feeling of constantly being followed, so you kept your arms interlocked with Colby's.

"You're doing okay so far?" He asked, cautiously caressing your hand. You nodded.

"Yeah, just feel like we're being followed." You replied, looking back where there was no one there.

"Really??" Sam asked, looking back as well but seeing nothing. "Do you think we caught a ghost's interest?"

"I mean, probably. There is a difference in between someone that's coming just for the hotel part and us, that are investigating and directly needing their intervention. We're making them curious."

"Well, for whatever spirit that might be following us, you're welcome to answer our questions later on tonight." Colby said loud enough for anything around to listen to it.

Honestly, even those small gestures made you so madly in love with him. The way he touches you softly just for you to make sure you're not alone and he's here for you is such a warming feeling.

Wilst looking around the current room, Colby walked up to a random closed door and tried to walk through.

"She said no closed doors!" Sam exclaimed, probably talking about the tour guide's rules of the place.

"Unless it's... unlocked." Colby responded, making Sam roll his eyes.

"Oop, it's Jim Hogg's room." You said, looking up.

"Who's that?" Sam asked.

"I dunno, it says its name on the top." You point up and they just laughed at the comment. I mean, what were they expecting? You had no idea about whatever story roams around these halls asides from the two main ones they've explained.

"Also I don't think you should be trying even more, like if it's hard to go in it's probably because you're not supposed to."

"We have a bad reputation of breaking into places." Sam admitted and you smiled.

"Yeah, I know. I remember that." You chuckle and hold Colby's hand to pull away from the door.

As they kept on chatting and making interesting comments here and there, you found the elevator and pointed it out. "Oh, is this the one?" Colby asked Sam and he just gave him a stare.

"This is the one what?" You ask and they look at eachother.

Sam sighed. "We were going to keep it until the time came, but we may have a little challenge for tonight that has to do with the elevator."

"Ooooh sounds fun. I wanna do it." You smile.

"You sure?? You have to be by yourself." Colby asked, worried but amused.

"Do you think I can't do this, Mr. Brock? That's offensive." You spat, crossing your hands around your chest.

"No! I meant-" He tried to explain, but you quickly interrupted.

"Cancelled, I tell you. Cancelled!" You look away with your eyes closed, trying not to laugh at the stupid situation unfolding.

"Great." You heard him sigh in defeat as Sam started laughing at the both of you. Looking back with a smile on your face, you hugged him.

"Alright, let's get going already." You giggled, gaining a kiss on the top of your head from your boyfriend.

Walking inside the elevator, it almost felt as if it quickly went down in an unnatural way.

"Did you guys feel like... the elevator dropping three inches?"

"Yeah, kinda of." Sam said.

"Three inches is a lot." Colby replied.

"Three inches is huge." Sam continued.

"I can vouch." You said.

"Mass..." Colby began talking but couldn't hold in the laugh after you said that.

Going back to the main lobby, you all reached out to a girl that was apparently the tourguide. She quickly explained the story of the place, how it ended up being the renouned hotel it came to be.

When she explained that the smell of cigar was one of the main ways Driskill manifested, your eyes went wide. "You're kidding."

"No, did you smell it before?" She asked.

"I did! But it was like, close to the entrance so I thought that maybe someone was smoking. I did find it rare because it was just a glimpse of it for like a solid second and then gone." You explained, making the girl smile.

"Well, that was him."

"No way." Colby said, smiling at you.

"Yup." She nodded, continuing to explain as you all started walking back to the elevator. Going inside, the door closed only to be opened again. "Oh?"

"Did we just pressed five and went to one? It's haunted!" Sam exclaimed.

"That was weird." Colby said, looking at the door.

"It was, that was so weird." The guide said, trying to close the door once again, only for it to open again.

"Does it do that often?" You asked and she shook her head.

"No! It doesn't." She walked back out and talked to someone from out side. "Are you fucking with us?"

"That's so strange- oh, I hit it." You whispered. The guide came back in.

"But you see it, right? I'm pressing five and it like start to go up but then it stops." The door closes once again, only for them to open.

"Oh my god." Sam said, whispering.

"And we're doing a challenge here?" You asked confused, making them laugh.

"Not here exactly." Colby smiled.

"Lemme- I'll go out." You said, walking out of the elevator, watching as the doors began to close, only for them to open once again. "Oh no, that's- that's a malfunction alright."

"And you said it, these malfuction all the time." Colby said to the guide as they walked out of the elevator.

When Sam did it by himself, it started working all over again.

"What the fuck??" Colby yelled.

"Are we like fat? Is it fat shaming us?" You whined, making everyone laugh.

And so, even though your night barely started, you were already having some activity to say the least.

And it kept being that way all night. Constant responses from spirits, intelligent ones at that. The little girl, the woman from the vortex room... all the way down to the challenge you've been anticipating the whole night round.

The elevator challenge.

"I think it might be just me but every single time we pass through this side of the hotel I feel like actually throwing up."

"Wait, really?" Colby asked, worried.

"Like an eerie feeling more than anything, almost like I'm kinda feeling a bit dizzy whenever we pass through here."

"Are you sure you want to do this? You can still back out, or I could go in with you." Colby tried to make you change your mind, but you were settled in it.

"No, I have to do it alone. What if it doesn't work because we're together? You're not gonna let me do this right?"

"I do! I'm just worried." Colby admitted, making you smile.

"You cutie. I love you so much." You said, smiling at him and cupping his face before giving him a quick peck on the lips.

"Y'all are gonna make me puke, another part I'm gonna have to cut out." Sam joked, making you giggle.

"Alright, alright. So, how does this work?" You ask, hugging yourself as you wait for instructions.

It was a simple game. Supposedly, you had to hit the buttons of the elevator in a specific order. In the last one, you had to invite in a lady. If the ritual worked, you were supposed to start going up into another world. If it didn't, well, nothing happened and it failed.

"So... I'm about to get isekai'd? We're going to an anime, brothers." You laughed at your own joke while they handed you your camera.

"I send you the order, just in case." Sam continued, and you nodded.

"Thank you, 'cause I already forgot." You turned on your phone as well as the camera and walked in.

"Any last words?" Colby asked cheekishly, making you smile.

"See you in the other side." You answered, before the door closed. You sighed, putting the camera up to your face. "Alright, so... I'm supposed to hit this one first." Switching the camera back to the buttons, you hit the number four.

It began moving. "Oh, good. It would've been a mess if it already fucked up. Alright..." You sighed. "I didn't told them this, but I do find the thought of getting stuck in an elevator horrifying. I just agreed because maybe it might help me out, but it doesn't work the fact that I can feel so many spirits around this area specifically every time we walk past it." You explain before getting on the next floor, touching the next button.

Back down on the lobby, Sam and Colby were talking.

"I didn't want her to do it, honestly. I was gonna do it myself." Sam said.

"Right? She's our guest too, what if something happens to her? That would be the death of me."

"Don't jinx it, brother. She'll be alright."

Boy they were wrong.

Halfway through, your vision started to get blurry, your legs were shaky and you couldn't brush off the feeling of pressure on your chest. It was starting to make you nervous, even more so the fact you were alone.

You started thinking to yourself. What if something really did happen? What if you summon something your body couldn't handle? What if it really did send you to another world?

It happened so quickly, that you have already reached the last floor before you knew it. Gulping down your dry throat, you began to speak. "Alright, if there's something... out... oh fuck." Your vision got blurry and you could feel an inmense ammout of power flushing through the elevator doors even before it opened up.

You couldn't hold it together, it was too much for you to handle as you were suspecting before. Although you tried to stay up, your legs couldn't hold your weight up anymore and you passed out, falling down to the floor, hitting your head strongly onto the hard floor of the elevator.

Luckily, the ritual didn't work. It began going down and the guys, mainly Colby, were anxiously waiting for the doors to open. When they did, their faces fell.

Colby screamed out your name, quickly rushing in and holding your head. "Love?? Sweetheart, what happened? Wake up, please. Oh God." He began shaking, carrying you outside of the elevator so that it was slightly more comfortable.

"What happened? Oh my fucking God." Sam whispered, grabbing your camera from the elevator's floor and walking out.

"She's not responding, Sam." Colby nervously said, making sure you were at least still alive.

You were.

"Should I call an ambulance or something?" Sam asked. "Oh, no. I have the keys with me."

"Let's take her to the hospital, quickly." He lifted you up from the floor and hurriedly got out of the building and to the hospital.

You were alright, luckily. It seemes you have just fainted, but you falling down to the floor and hitting your head so hard made it a bit more complicated than what it had to be.

Colby felt bad, horrible even to think that this could've happened to you.

He should've been more careful, he should've known you were too sensitive to all of these energies so that you would go alone and out to make something so nerve racking. He should've been more insisting, rather than going with the flow merely because of a video.

He let his love have that type of experience because of a mere video.

It devastared him. Made him feel absolutely awful about it. While waiting for you to wake up, he kept on downgrading himself thinking about how he's the worst possible boyfriend.

It all stops when you finally wake up. Looking around the white room, confused.

"What happened?"

"It looks like you fainted... I'm so sorry for letting you do that all by yourself, I should've stopped you, I should've at least gone with you, I'm so sorry that you had to go through that because-"

"Love. Love!" You held his cheeks softly, making him quietly stop ranting, you smiled. "You know I wanted to do it, I was the stupid one for forgetting that big energy rafts can affect me a lot, I'm so sorry baby." You kissed his nose, reassuring him everything was alright.

And honestly, he needed to hear it. From you, specifically. Sam was trying to make him calm down but it didn't really work. It had to be you, your voice, your smile.

The one thing that made him whole all over again.

✮ ⋆ ˚｡𖦹 ⋆｡°✩

I MAY HAVE DONE TOO MUCH FILLER FOR NO GODDAMN REASON- also hoping that dear anon liked it-

thank you for reading, loves~! likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated <3

~nikkõ

[jamorbital]

Mailbag III ✉️

Wow, there were a bunch this time. Thanks everyone!

@theloramir:

Me! 😷

If that doesn't count… Hmm. Cynthia from Pokémon? Or maybe Tifa?

@scout90-again:

I've been interested in it for as long as I can remember. Even when I was really little, I liked to tie up dolls with string and put pieces of tape on their mouths. A bit more on that in an earlier ask here.

(MORE UNDER THE CUT)

@noteverysaurisadinosaur:

Uhhh... I'm gonna say... Golden Toad. I like Dodos too, but I'm guessing that's the "everything but country and rap" of this question.

@directivexero:

Aw thanks!

Lately I've been slowly making my way through The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles! I play it in bed each night to settle in before I go to sleep. It's like a good book. The fickleness of the jurors always makes me laugh.

Another recent one I liked: Thank Goodness You're Here! It's basically a little interactive animated movie. Matt Berry is in it. I once saw it described as "Untitled Twat Game"

Deadly Premonition is the worst game I've ever played by conventional standards, but I'd still recommend it because it's bad in really fun ways. Bring some friends and a case of beer.

I like games that provoke a strong reaction. I'd rather play something like DP than a "good" big-budget game that's smooth and pleasing but not all that memorable.

Also on the topic of weird games: This is the secret best channel on YouTube. The more you watch, the better it gets. I mean idk, maybe other people don't see it and I'm just deranged. Still though. I've cried laughing at some of these.

@patientbard:

Summer! Lots of happy memories from childhood. I like to swim.

@nixalegos:

I don't often try to go for a specific texture, but when I do it can be tricky. In real life I love soft jersey knit fabric. Despite my best efforts, I haven't been able to nail it in 2D in a way that really scratches that kinky itch.

In general, my drawings rarely come out the way I pictured them in my head. (I think that's how it is for most artists?) If it's looking really off then I might redraw a character or body part from scratch, but for the most part I just go with the flow.

@accretion-disk-anxiety:

To eat, crab; to not eat, turtle.

@damianblack:

I'm not really into furries, but I like furries as people. They seem like fun and I admire how welcoming and liberated their community is.

For a while I've had "draw an anthro character" on my bucket list. I think it'd be a fun challenge and drawing a gag for an anthro snout could be hot tbh.

@onidrills:

What was that thing from Jurassic Park with the big neck thing and the venom? Dilophosaurus?

Aw man...

@goodboynijian:

Thank you!

For proudest: Maybe animation loops?

They're not as elaborate as some other stuff I've done, but seeing an animation come together just feels so satisfying.

For hottest: I gravitate toward a certain weirder type of piece where I draw myself (or "myself") with super-exaggerated proportions and/or humiliating captions:

It feels exciting to just go totally off the wall. I get turned on not just by drawing these, but also posting them. I guess it's kind of a public humiliation/exhibitionism thing. (Actually, that's exactly what it is.)

I used to put them up on Twitter, but it got a little too weird and embarrassing. Now I keep them behind the safety of the paywall.

@t-oppenheimer:

Smash if that counts! I used to attend locals weekly and was decently competitive at my peak. I stopped going in 2020 due to covid and never got back into it after that. I still play with friends here and there though. I'm a Wolf main. 🐺

I've also done a little SF6, but I'm still in The Cursed Zone on that one.

@microfoamgaglover:

Yes

(old pic!)

Thanks again to everyone who sent in questions! I'm feeling better now than I was this morning. If I didn't respond to you, it just means I couldn't think of anything interesting to say. I appreciate it all the same.

[ping-ski]

Hewwo, hope you are having a lovely day! :3 For the Artist Ask meme questions, what is your favourite music to draw to, your go-to things to draw for comfort and do you little warmup sketches before drawing? Thank you and have a wonderful rest of the weekend!!

hi ama!! :3 thank you and i hope your day + weekend is lovely too!! <3 (now to the questions, sorry for the yappage lol)

🎼 Your favorite music to draw to right now? ooo how fun!! i got 2 other anons asking this too haha! i love music and i'm also a (hobbyist) musician myself so... usually the music while i draw is dependent on the mood/intention/character i have with the piece! (silly art = silly music etc.) often times i'll loop a song for DAYS just to keep up the "vibe" cause i don't have a go-to favorite when i draw! otherwise i just listen to whatever comes to mind in the moment! but yeah right now (while i draw DCA au stuff), i'm listening to Willow Smith's "empathogen" album & yaelokre's "Hayfields" because i adore that project and it's fun to sing along with!

🐻 Your go-to things to draw when you need comfort? hmm... my go-to comfort to draw is almost always whatever my current hyperfixation is! which is primarily DCA right now! outside of that (tho i'd probably have art block tbh), it's usually drawing myself in varying styles or (if i pull them out of the basement) my OCs. i'm a fanartist at heart, so drawing original stuff sometimes feels alien to me haha! i need a fictional muse to fuel the art lmao

☕ Do you do warmup sketches before drawing? (Bonus: do you have any to share?) actually- no i don't! i don't really "warmup" at all because it ALWAYS ends up being a sketch i post or end up as a finished piece! (i feel like this would make more sense if you watch me draw live ig/posted a speedpaint? maybe for art requests and commissions, but i can't recall tbh.) before digital art, i always drew with a PEN or CRAYON cause that's the most sensory friendly option for me. (it doesn't make a lot of scratchy noises like markers and pencils) so i unintentionally trained my muscle memory and myself to draw whatever comes to mind because every stroke was (literally) permanent + i tried to draw fast and loose cause i hate the feeling of paper. it gives me the strongest, most volatile, and intense visceral ICK. when i draw, i always draw with intention otherwise i'm probably not drawing at all! (this is also why i'll go on streaks of posting often then disappearing) idk my vision is usually clear, even for sketches and the muscle memory does its job! im too lazy to do actual "warmups" tbh. anyways, it's not a warmup sketch per say but i here's a random wips i have !! :3 (it's all LDR, but the last two images are from a separate wip!)

[thelaurenshippen]

How much of an impact has writing and consuming fanfiction had in your writing career?

I ask about fanfiction specifically because it's such an open communication sort of media, it's so easy for author and reader to interact. Do you think you'd write differently if you'd never been in the Fanfiction community? What do you think has carried over from those works and interactions into your current works?

ooh, such a fun question! I've never really thought about this before!

so I will admit, while I have been reading fanfiction since 2006, I never actually wrote fanfiction until 2018 (and then didn't share any of it until 2021). so I think those specific relationships affected my writing in very specific ways.

from a reading perspective, I think fanfic really showed me that a story can be anything, told in a million different kinds of ways. the two fandoms that I was deeply entrenched in/reading fic in were sherlock (lol) and the winter soldier (I stand by it). both of those fandoms - TWS especially - did a lot of very interesting stuff when it came to story structure, multimedia storytelling, etc. while of course there's great published fiction that does the same (I've been a huge David Mitchell stan since I was 20, I read House of Leaves for the first time a few years ago, A Series of Unfortunate Events is such a great example of this tbh), I think there's a lot of freewheeling experimentation in fanfiction that encouraged me to do things like write Some Faraway Place as a mix of journal entries, reddit posts, letters, and tumblr posts.

it's also interesting to me that you bring up the author/reader interaction, because you're right, it is such a huge part of fanfic and a part I rarely thought about for a looooong time. I'm a socially anxious lurker by nature, so I would leave comments (show your local fanfic writer some love!) and I would follow a lot of those writers, but I'd never, like, interact with them directly. and my comments were usually along the lines of "I'M FLINGING MYSELF DIRECTLY INTO THE SUN" rather than openings to conversations lol.

but that changed significantly when I started writing fic. the first fandom I wrote for was SO small and the ship I was writing for even smaller (I'm responsible for over half the fics in that tag), so there wasn't really any interaction there. but then I started writing in a different fandom - still small but much more active - and joined a discord and everything. I'm not really active anymore, but I met someone who now has become one of my best friends and who is a huge reason why Desperate Hollow, my queer outlaw novel, finally got fucking finished.

so being in fanfic really affected my writing in the sense that I found a writer friend who - like a lot of other writing friends - has had a profound affect on me as an artist. but more broadly, writing fic for that fandom - about 200k words of it in eight months - taught me some very important things:

how to write a lot of words very, very quickly

how to let go of something being perfect - no one knows who I am on ao3 and people are just happy to have fic for a small fandom, so it doesn't have to be GOOD

how to write physicality - this is very hard for me, even now. I'm an audio first person, I rarely think about what people look like, how they move their bodies, etc. writing fic is so helpful, because if you're using canon scenes, you don't have to come up with the blocking, you just have to figure out how to describe it.

dialogue/character voice - learning how to mimic a writer's style is good from two perspectives: one, you learn more about style and voice by having to unpack someone else's. two, as a writer working in a scripted medium, you often are trying to write to an established style, because you might be in a writer's room for a world that you didn't create.

this is a less tangible effect, but writing mature works for a fandom that has mostly morally gray characters helped me get more comfortable with being bolder in my own work. Desperate Hollow is about two men in the wild west, one of whom has killed a lot of people, and both of whom are career criminals. the show I'm working on currently has the messiest found family dynamic and it will only get messier. I think in the course of writing TBS, I sometimes got scared of doing the wrong thing, or of leaning too hard into the darker parts of the story, and I'm trying to let my characters and stories be deeply imperfect now.

I hope that answers your questions!

[beyondtheglowingstars]

Heyooo can I ask for Four w a super strong crush :0 I’m incredibly tiny but God knows if I liked exercising and also didn’t have arthritis I’d be so buff😭🤚

I feel u bestie, had I kept at training in the gym consistently and I'd probably be able to lift some decently high numbers right now lol

This was a fun one! I'm living for it tbh. Hope you don't mind that I made it headcanons, it sounded 'right' in my head to make it headcanons (anyways, you can always just request a fic if you want one after this haha).

Four with a super strong (GN) crush (hcs)

Just like the others, he was very surprised by your strength once you got to show it. It's not that he thought you couldn't be packing some power, but he certainly didn't imagine you'd have that much.

Let's just say that he was very impressed once he got to see that you also had the size to show for your strength, clothes tend to obscure many shapes, and it was clear that you took care of yourself.

His simple friendship with you turned into a massive crush faster than he could realize.

Since all of that's happened, he's felt like he's got much more in common with you than he initially thought. Being very small often had people and foes belittling his skills, and also his strength.

On a related note, he especially likes when a particularly cocky monster chooses to underestimate you based on looks alone, only to regret it not long after. Those are never his kills, but he can't help feeling some level of satisfaction when you put one of those creatures in their place.

Gives you compliments on your strength from time to time depending on a few factors.

But something along the lines of "Great thing we have someone as strong as you on our side!"/"You're very strong, so I'm sure it won't be a challenge for you at all."

If the chance ever arises in conversation with someone outside the chain, he's definitely bragging about how strong you are (and if he's not bragging about that, then you can be sure that he's mentioning another remarkable thing about you) to the other person, most of the time before he can process what he's doing.

A few members of the chain have caught on to the way he looks and talks about you, and he's gotten teased about having a crush on you a few times.

His face always turns red afterwards, because deep down he knows they're right even if he denies it to them.

He'd love to stay perched on your shoulders or back for as long as you'll allow him. He knows that he most likely doesn't weight anything to you.

But he's embarrassed to ask you for that, you'd have better luck with hugs.

But that still doesn't take away the fact that he's put himself to sleep at the thought of cuddling with you and imagining what it would be like to have your arms securely wrapped around him.

He'd love to have you as an occasional blacksmithing helper, not only because you're the person he enjoys being around the most, but also because he secretly wants to put more of your strength to the test and be the only one with front row seats to the event.

Don't worry though, he wouldn't give you any complicated tasks. Just simple things along with teaching you anything if necessary.

Of course, but that's only if you're willing to help him with whatever thing at the forge, he wouldn't force you if you don't want to. His crush on you will remain unchanged either way.

Once he grows more comfortable, he'd end up asking you to lift him up so he can reach higher places or get something that's way too high up for either of you to get, out of pure, lazy convenience.

Though that would mostly happen only when he knows you two are alone, otherwise the other Links would never let the suspicions about his crush on you go.

Hylia only knows what would happen to this man if you ever carry him in your arms, out of battle due to injury.

If he had heart eyes for you before, then now he slipped and fell into a puddle of his feelings for you and refuses to get back up after that, and the puddle only gets bigger by the second.

He'd blush at the mere mention of your name from that point on.

The scene from when you carried him back to safety would play on an endless loop for days on end.

And if his crush was easy to spot for those who paid enough attention, then now it's almost as if he carried a sign that stated all he thinks about is you.

[yellowhollyhock]

what are some of the strengths and weaknesses of 1987 Michelangelo’s character? I have the hardest time writing for him outside of the super obvious “surfer bro” persona honestly

tbh,, I rarely write for 87... they're too witty,,, I have some wips but as far as writing the 87 boys are definitely not my strength

That said! 1987 Michelangelo! Love that guy. hmmm strengths and weaknesses

Weaknesses

-he can be clueless at times. needs things explained multiple times or doesn't pick up on things other characters were counting on him picking up on. this can be a very useful for plot reasons, he can simply forget what he was told or not understand it and therefore fail to act on it

-very obsessed with pizza. more so than the other turtles

-along that vein, generally not difficult to distract

-hard to motivate. he mostly wants to make himself and those around him comfortable, and he's very good at finding simple easy ways to do that. So whatever task needs to be done for whatever other reason, better find a way to make it comfortable and fun, he has a high threshold. For example during training sometimes he would simply rather enjoy the nice weather and there is nothing Master Splinter or anyone else can say

-this goes with hard to motivate, but in the ep where Leonardo leaves and the others have to try to lead, when it's his turn he's just very passive. he is pretty good about knowing what needs done, but he is definitely not one to take charge, and more than likely he'll wait to be told what to do unless the situation is very urgent

-he does not enjoy watching pro-wrestling, to his brothers' dismay

Strengths!!

-sweetest heart of all time. brings home injured animals, takes them to the zoo so he can learn about how to take care of them or give them to someone who can

-btw he can talk to animals

-often is the one tending to his brothers if they're sore after a battle. not first aid, but like fluffing a pillow or just patting their back. He probably holds their hand while antiseptic is applied. Definitely hugs them when they cry

-very loyal. throws a birthday party for Irma. never believes something bad he hears about someone he knows (he'll say "no way, amigo" if someone who isn't present to defend themselves is accused of literally anything)

-strong moral compass, AND

-the ability to communicate persuasively about what he thinks is right. More often than not he uses the same sentence (what you're doing is majorly wrongiouso) (or something like that siahdhsj), but it's the way he says it amd the timing that's important. He understands people, and as much as he always sees the best in them, he also knows how to bring out the best in them. Idk I don't think I'm explaining it too well, but... he's not just blindly trusting. Trust is a choice he makes out of kindness, but then he will hold people to a standard. Does that make sense?

-great with kids

-he's a good mediator, hears out both sides

-faces his fears (he has the most stage fright of them all but by the end of the ep where they appeared on camera he was also handling it the best)

-he can put his foot down when he needs to. very cool trait for the Nice Guy character to have, y'know?

-not afraid to emote! sobs openly because the stove is broken! hugs! speaks up when he is upset! expresses joy for the little things! 🧡

-psychic (i think? probably? might not know it? i remember feeling like it was implied but I'd have to go find the episode(s) alskjdjvf) (pretty sure it wasn't explicit but like. he's psychic okay)

-so much patience

-everyone loves the way he talks. they're always mimicking him. i remember one time when Leonardo asked a question, Michelangelo was standing right there, and Donatello literally said, "Well as Michelangelo would say" and then said what Michelangelo would say and was in fact about to say, then Michelangelo went to say it and got all confused alfjshsjj. Also Shredder will do this too! And you know you're good when Shredder copies you. He had aspirations of being a writer before he turned to villainy, you know (or maybe you didn't but now you do)

[mecachrome]

I got into F1 later and fell in love with Landoscar but I wanted to ask (not sure if you know) but does Lando usually do the whole “we’re forced to be friends/ we’re rivals who have to pretend we’re friends” thing with his previous teammates? It’s cute that he keeps saying that but at the same time will give Oscar nicknames and just generally act so fond with him lmao I’m like what are you doing??? 🤭

hi anon!!! ok i have quite a few thoughts but of course standard disclaimer that this is just my interpretation and i'm less confident in Lando Meta than i am with oscar LOL

anyway lando has ofc made the distinction of friendship not having any significant weight on-track but idt he's outright made those same jokes with carlos and daniel... that being said i do think it's important to contextualize his previous teammateships and where he/mclaren were at the time !!! imo it's impossible to directly compare 814 to carlando or dando because the inherent circumstances of their dynamic are simply quite different...? carlos was lando's first teammate when lando was 19 and therefore much more anxious and self-conscious and unsure of himself, so often times he defaulted to carlos's behavior or temperament, not in like a crazy power imbalance way ofc just more subtle mirroring while he didn't have a strong grasp of being an f1 driver yet.

meanwhile with daniel you have to remember that their time together was largely overshadowed by daniel's difficulties with the car... then on top of that i think daniel's sense of humor is just not that parallel to lando's, so i feel there were occasionally mismatches in how lando was able to joke around with him. like i do believe lando is friends with both carlos and daniel 100% and that they all had a lot of fun competitive banter it's just that people have different modes of communication 🤷‍♀️

at the end of the day i'd say that landoscar's dynamic is just... easy??? maybe that sounds boring but lando's much more settled in his skin now + he and oscar mutually rate each other and aren't dying in a backmarker anymore + he's older than oscar and has more "say" in how their dynamic works + oscar isn't quite as effusive as 55/3 and his humor already leans heavily into dry sarcasm (<- tbh i think this is the main point of the whole post) so the whole ~We hate each other and have to pretend to be friends!!!~ etc. bit doesn't have any significance in itself but is simply a general reflection of lando being comfortable in making sarcastic quips and knowing oscar will roll with it asldfhldkfsh

[indieninja92]

Hello! Sorry to reach out as a tumblr anon (I've just never been brave enough for ao3 comments sadly and I'm mostly a lurker in the GO fandom) but, I saw your post about the goobers fic and I just felt a strong urge to put something positive in your inbox and thank you so much for writing it :) It is, genuinely no exaggeration, one of my favourite fics I've ever read- I love all your fics tbh but this one's my favourite! Your take on them is so incredible and unique, and I think you capture their banter and their bond like no one else. There's such a sense of warmth and safety throughout as well that keeps me returning to it again and again. I adore every single chapter. I totally understand your decision to stop writing it too (I think readers can forget sometimes that such a decision often isn't easy for the authors! I'm sorry if you've heard self centred reactions) and while ofc I'd obviously jump at the chance to hear anything you're comfortable sharing about your plans for the rest of it, I also respect your right to keep that info to yourself if you want to far more! We as readers are not entitled to a single thing; we are gifted and so lucky for the chapters you wrote and chose to share with us. Thank you so much for the nine chapters you put out there- I know I absolutely will be returning to them for rereads <3

Thank you so much, this is so sweet!! I'm enormously proud of it, genuinely think it's some of the best writing I've ever done. Every chapter was an absolute joy to write, I loved the research process and getting into their heads for each new time period - and planning their little outfits! Fortunately I haven't had any negativity for abandoning it, the post yesterday was more a response to the anon message in the original post rather than reflecting my own experience. People have been very kind about it overall!

As for my plans for the rest, there wasn't a huge amount to go - we left off in the 1980s, and then we were going to jump to them raising a little 4 year old Warlock. I had a very cute scene planned of Warlock's dad being delighted the boy had asked for one of those toy cars they can drive around in because he wanted a big black one which his father assumed was because he wanted to look like a secret service guy, but is actually just because he loves being driven around in Nanny's Bentley. They were going to play some fun little kid games, probably bring back knucklebones, and then have a game of Scrabble (Crowley was going to cheat) before some Feelings Talk.

After that, I was going to do the bus ride home from Tadfield with them playing a game that I know as Cowboy Karaoke (one person picks a word and the other has to sing a bit of a song with that word in), more Feelings Talk while Crowley has a bath, and then a round of Gin Rummy after the body swap when they're feeling a bit too anxious to get to the looming franoodling. And then, of course, the franoodling!

Finally, I was going to do a little epilogue in the South Downs cottage which is mostly kissing, including Aziraphale dutifully keeping to the schedule that Crowley calculated in 1983 to pay his kiss debt. Also, Crowley finally finds out what the moon is.

[gladdygirl18]

New tickle tea story incoming, and it's a really good one

Blue me, orange NEW BOYFRIEND

Yes u read that right! Wanna find out how this came to be? Read under cut (it's gonna be pretty long cuz this is covering 2 days)

So on sunday was my university's annual carnival to usher in new freshmen (so much fun 😁🫶🏾) and I was meeting up with my some friends.

My soon-to-be boyfriend (still a friend at this time) had sent me on a scavenger hunt to look for him, and ofc I eventually found him. After that, I gave him a small gift (some things I picked up from an anime convention) and he loved them

And throughout the day, after meeting up with our mutual friend, I would always poke and tickle him and ofc, he'd tickle me back

He is a firm believer of "equivalent exchange" (whatever I do to him, he does to me, and vise versa)

So while the carnival is going on, the 3 of us find and empty classroom to watch funny videos together. I started to lay across the table with my hat over my face (this happened like twice or thrice) and my soon-to-be at the time starts tickling me (revenge he called it 🤭💖)

When our mutual friend leaves the room, the 2 of us cuddled up to each other in the corner of the room and.... we started making out and the rest is history ☺️💖

We then went out to the courtyard late at night and just sat on the ground and just stayed there for a long while; it was bliss. We cuddled and kissed, and ofc tickled each other here and there. OMG he is such a tease

"Tickle tickle tickle~" "Where else are you ticklish?" "You're ticklish here too?" "You're just ticklish all over, aren't you baby?" "Coochie cochie coo~"

LIKE OMGGGG SHUUUUP UUPP 😆😆😆💖💖💖 I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

Next day (Monday) after classes, we were in my room just cuddling and kissing. Ofc, me being a little sneak, I start tickling. OMG he is so cute when tickled! 😍🥰💖😆 He has a very airy laugh and its cute

"No, not the tickles! Hahaha!" and once I tickle him, he tickles me back (firm believer in equivalent exchange) "That's it! C'mere you!" "Where's that bellybutton?"

I HAVE ASCENDED OMFGGGGGGGGGGGGG AHHH 💖😆💖😆💖

While cuddling, we did something that I never thought I would ever think I'd do (i'd only ever read this dhit in fics) WE PLAYED A TICKLE GAME

The rules were simple: whoever lasts longer without putting their arms down wins. He lasted about 1:03. I was already so fucking nervous, but the fun nervous. Now, if yall know me, I can turn off my ticklishness, but when he started digging into my armpits and sides, I lost it. and this boy starts teasing me saying: "Come on baby! You're doing great" "I caahahahahan't" "You're almost there!" "It tihihihihickles!" "I know, babe, but you're doing great! Only a few more seconds!"

BROOOOO I FUCKING LOVE HIM 💖💖💖

I lasted 1:04, a second longer than him (did not think i'd last that long tbh) Side note: he also has a small little obsession with my bellybutton and omgg he finds it so cute! He will tickle it, kiss it; I'm dying every time he plays with it 🥰😆💖

and ofc when I'm being bratty, he always says "Alright, that's it? Where's your bellybutton?" But if anything, he often aims for my armpits cuz i can't stand my armpits being tickled i literally start bucking like a bull (but it is so much fucking fun! 🥰)

Just yesterday, we did the same tickle game again. I had asked him if he could help me (cuz i wanted to see if i could last longer than 1:04) and he happily agreed. He then said, "However, if you lose, I get to tickle you more~"

BITCH I AM LOSING ON PURPOSE EVERY FCKING TIME IF THATS THE CASE WHAAAAAT 😆😆💖💖😍😍

When tickling me, he kept teasing me and encouraging me throughout, and it made it worse. And, purposefully ofc, I shot my arms down.

"Oh nooo.. Baby you didn't make it. You know what that means?"

This 6'2 guy straddles me, pins an arm above my head while locking the other underneath his knee and starts torturing the fuck outta my armpit!!! I wanted to fucking scream (i mean i did ofc but you know what I mean) and omggg he was so fucking sadistic with it too and it make the tickling worse. I then told him that I lost on purpose and he just gave me this smug ass look and said, "You don't think I knew? You wanted this all along didn't you sugar~? Having my hands lightly explore your tickle spots while you thrash around? Hearing you laughter and cute little giggles... it's like music to my ears~"

I AM AT PEACE OMGGGGGGG I'VE DIED😆💖💖😋😍😆

And omg he is so fucking considerate and compassionate. "The safeword is Grapefruit" (literally for no particular reason, just a random he came up with) Also pointing out when tickling me like that, he did tell me that, but I was having the time of my life that I didn't use it; I was having so much fun! "If you want me to stop, just say that word and my movements will freeze in an instant." "Is this okay for you, baby?" "I don't want to move too fast, so just let me know when you wanna take a step backward" that's all he was saying throughout while he was tickling me, and when I was calling out his name, he would say "What's wrong my little sugar? Are you having fun? Well, of course you are cuz if you weren't you would've said the safeword ages ago~" Such a fucking tease i love him 💖

But really tho, he be making me wanna cry... He's so fcking sweet omggg. One time, I started tearing up when I was hugging him and I said, "Thank you.... thank you so much" "I don't know what you're thanking me for" "...For making me feel wanted, loved, safe... and beautiful..." "Aww, you're welcome my little sugar dragon. You deserve to feel that way, and I'll do whatever I can to ensure that" (he calls me sugar dragon cuz A) I am very sweet and B) our favorite fantasical creature is a dragon, and to me, he's my little chaos dragon 🥰🧡🐲) He also says "She's sugar cuz she's sweet, too much of her will kill me, and too little of her will kill me" (iykyk)

but yeah! This is an incredible comeback to TTS's! I love my boyfriend so much; such a teasy tickle monster, even tho he calls me the tickle monster cuz i always iniciate the tickle fights we have 😋💖😋 But yeah, expect a lot more TTS very soon!

tagging the fwends: @giggly-squiggily @sunstone-smiles @cutesmokes @burningablaze @otomiyaa @ticklishfanart

[subtle-as-an-earthquake]

phew, ok gonna just ramble for a minute! for the last couple of days i've been getting so caught up in my milex feelings and the letdown after the anticipation that i almost forgot to be properly excited for this trip 🙈 but now that i'm actually in dublin, after listening to arctic monkeys and miles tunes on the flight and getting hyped about seeing my one of my best irl friends from london again for the first time since june, it's much easier for me to put things in perspective, thank goodness!! i'd have kicked myself later if i spent my time here moping (which i've kind of been doing these past two days) instead of being excited about getting to see my all time favourite band play again (twice!!) AND with miles as well, and just have a fun trip with my friends in dublin (even though it'll be raining cats and dogs, but we'll be in the pub most of the time anyway 🍻)

after the london gig in june i really thought that was it for a couple of years, so to have been given this extra opportunity to see them again so soon is insane and an absolute blessing. i'm SO fucking excited, i can't even tell you 😭 these will be my 8th and 9th arctic monkeys gigs to date, and i'm still just as hyped as i was 10 years ago, and i think that's worth reflecting on for a minute ❤️

i'm putting some more musings about the milex situation under the cut for anyone who might be interested in a different perspective, but mostly it's just for me, to be able to untangle the mess that my mind has been in these past few days. also, please know that i'm definitely not trying to invalidate anyone's concerns or diminish anyone's feelings, because lord knows i've been feeling all the things the past few days and all those feelings are very (very) real!

i guess what i just keep coming back to is the fact that arctic monkeys (or alex, really, lbr) asked miles to be the support for these four dates when they absolutely didn't have to do that, and that if there was any bad blood between them then they totally could've asked anyone else. but they didn't, they asked miles! and miles agreed! it's much more likely that the fact that they're not playing together is due to logistics (with the orchestra and limited rehearsal time) and wanting to highlight miles's new album than any personal reasons tbh. they're professionals doing their jobs first and foremost, and while obviously we'd love a display of sentimentality, if that doesn't fit the show for whatever reason then it makes sense they don't give us that. i'm sure it's all been discussed and agreed on between them, and that they're doing perfectly fine behind the scenes. it's true that miles shows us a lot of himself, but alex and the other boys do not, so it also makes sense to me that what miles shares about them/their interactions with him is limited too, much as i'd love to see him gush about them and post bts footage. i always find that i get easily swept up in emotions and conjecture when i'm watching things unfold from a distance, through the tumblr/fandom lens, but i forget sometimes that that is a heavily coloured lens, and that real life is often very different, despite what social media etc. may seem to show. and for me personally, i've noticed that sometimes it's really good to break out of the bubble for a bit and see things from a different perspective, so i'm glad i was able to do that before my shows!

also, on a side note, i've seen some people being disappointed that alex didn't dedicate bodypaint to miles but just gave him a shoutout, but to me the distinction doesn't matter too much. he mentioned miles when he didn't have to, and miles stayed to watch the boys do their thing after his own set, and he didn't have to do that either if he wasn't feeling it. the fact is that recently there have been more and more signs that our boys are actually growing closer again than they seemingly have been for a few years, and while obviously i just want them to give us everything and announce a tlsp reunion and also profess their undying love for each other while they're at it, maybe their doing what they can right now, and they just need a bit more time to get to where they once were. we all need time to heal, or something like that, anyway. i obviously don't know anything, but this possiblity seems just as if not more likely to me than the other option (which would be that any of this is a sign they're growing further apart, instead), so i'm good with that for the moment.

anyway, this is just me talking to myself on the plane and creating some perspective for myself, but maybe someone else might find it helpful too, who knows. in any case, i'm going to do my best to enjoy it all to the fullest!! and while obviously getting to see them do something together would be brilliant, it would just be the cherry on an otherwise already really fucking delicious cake ❤️

[silveredsound]

How you go from harry styles to hockey I will never understand.

I was going to make a little joke, as I do, (would have been v hilarious, best joke ever pls know this) and leave it at that. But like, it's been raining for over 24 hours, it's 2am and it might be good for me to reflect a little.. So sorry anon I am going emote all over your ask (which (the ask) sounds a bit judgey tbh but the written word is NOT a great conveyor of tone so that might be on me.)

On one hand it's just fandom. And, I think it's been pretty clear that as much as I love Henry Stars, I'm not like, a 'Harry is the be all and end all of all music creation and creativity and actions.' I like him for the good and the bad, and I don't leave critical thinking at the door. (Not saying I'm the only person to do this, just that it's hard sometimes in fan spaces and Stans definitely do..)

Which, can make it hard to participate in fandom as a lot of people are not great at irony, or accepting that someone else can say, god damn that is a terrible song - and that it's okay for that to happen. It doesn't mean that the person who expressed the neg opinion is not still a fan of the artist they were speaking about. Same with if the artist you are a fan of does something that gives you the ick.

I def learnt this when Harry went to Google Camp the first time. Like obviously I've been around 1d fandom in some way since 2012 ish I think it was - and it was my own reaction to Harry going to Camp Douchebags the first time that made me go, oh jeez Silv, you are a bit too involved in the parasocial relationship here. Like I was genuinely upset that he'd done something I thought was so dumb and wanky.

Anyway, clearly I still loved - love - him and I celebrated him and spent a fuckload of money on him and engaged in fandom and etc etc. But I just did at that point I think turn a little from heading in a very blinkers on version of fandom to one that's def more me - where you just get to have fun, make fun be creative, make friends! and have a bit of a perv depending on the silk cream vanilla ice cream outfit Harry might be wearing in Nashville.

I like RPF. I mean I like all transformative works and fandom extending and enhancing source material via creation, but I don't have an issue with RPF. I believe in 4th wall. And I clearly have written 1d fic. A lot of my good fandom mates, and real life best friend(s) are people I have met through sharing a love of writing in fandom spaces. Obviously all the best writers in 1d went to Hockey. And I stayed here. And I tried. I wanted to be where my friends where. I had fomo and I was lonely! My fandom had changed in a few ways all around the same time.

But Hockey is very confusing, (for starters as I often say to Angela or Joanna, snow is fake) and nothing clicked for me - it seemed large and I had no idea where to even start and I didn't really try.

But I think the change in some fandom fellow participants, and also anons being mean when they would get even a glimpse in their peripheral that I might have vaguely indicated that Henry did something that I thought was dumb or embarrassing, or just not that good, (it's no fun sharing a thought and feeling chatty about it, and wanting to engage with other people's thoughts if some random is going to anonymously tell you that you are a dumb c*nt and should delete etc etc so I stopped sharing any thoughts at all.) Of course Nick leaving breakfast and then R1 altogether - as well as obviously my whole life narrowing to a point that was just tend Mama- work - tend mama - work - tend mama - sleep - grow a tumour - tend mama left me not so much time for proper joyful engagement.

And then, in Jan/Feb this year, I think as I'd been looking at book reviews and as soon as you search for a book on tik tok they push book tok romance reviews into your feed and I think then that pushed an actual hockey clip (which is a really shite 4th wall issue as is the whole Kraken thing etc) and I can't even remember what it was but I know I then swiped through and watched other videos on the account and like 1d being adorable shites repeating stock answers and sitting on top of each other I was intrigued by what seemed to be very dumb and very entertaining.

But Silv, you cry, what about the emotions! You need emotions! Ah, yes, see, because I am nothing but devoted I had followed Angela and La's hockey blogs, and something La posted grabbed my attention and I followed a link and read an article and I was like. Oh, I want to read more about these kids. So I did. And after a little while I reached out to La and was like, um, I think I get it. And I posted something about the Fantilli Bros and then Max reached out and tbh I don't think anything says it better than my wide eyed enthusiasm reply. (You are probably by now thinking, Silv why is your answer to Max so short, why didn't I just get a paragraph? This is an endless essay with no conclusion or indeed a thesis statement, (that is if you have even made it down to here) & anon I can only apologise.)

I am really enjoying learning so many new things, being welcomed into a new space of connection and joy and silliness and emotional breakdowns. It's been so lovely to meet new people who are so excited to share their niche interest with you and no one minds how many questions I have and everyone searches out Primera and Important Past Instagram Posts from the archives - and of course reconnecting with people who I have always been friends with, fandom changes didn't change that, but it's delightful chatting much more often. The other day Angela and I watched an Avs game together via Tumblr chats, which was delightful, to learn about the team and to talk about random other things, and I've spent my last month of Saturdays watching umich with lovely people who La introduced me to, and having MANY EMOTIONS. (It's like hanging out all posting about a show's fits and one liners and if he's going to sing medicine but it's many pantomime gooseberrys. The performative homoeroticisim, wild hair, jokes, punching (only now during not pre show work outs ) and very goddamn impressive skill and physicality is actually pretty similar). Meghan and I have been able to chat through our very similar horrible experiences with cancer and mums with cancer and it's been so lovely and strengthening to be able to share that experience with a person who beyond gets it, and then also I've been able to announce to her that I want to write a fic about 5 ways Nolan saw god with the UMich Bible Study Group but didn't find faith. which is obviously a completely ridiculous concept but equally worthy of discussion. It's this that I love so much about fandom friendship - you share SO much because you are sharing something that gives you intimate joy, so the relationship always starts from a place of an automatic mutual understanding and empathy - and from there we make it our own.

But also, I really like the game. Like I love watching them play, all of them! It's fast (obviously - and oblig have to say - ice is slippery) and it's hard - and they make it look easy. When one of the special players (they are all special, but one of the ones who play almost with innate ability) makes a pass or a turn sometimes it's almost almost magic, like how the fuck did they see that gap between four players, and did you see how they kept the puck a moment longer so they could release it perfectly into the lane !! Hot.

The game can be all encompassing and it's SO SO SO silly. Like it's the dumbest sport. It's The Show. I'll put on ESPN and stream a match while I'm working during the day (the time difference is perfect for once) and I'm spending time cos I want to, learning the rules and the logistics and business side of it all. And of course, the differences between college hockey and the show. Idk. It just clicked on so many levels for me.

And so, I have no idea why it took me so long to transition from Henry to Hockey, but I am not surprised I did now that I have - it def wasn't something that I was bloody expecting. And Anon I will say this, the last few years of my life have been sad, hard, and tbh shitty. Now, I know what it's like to have fucked years, so I am not saying this to try to be and show off but 2024 feels a bit better. I feel clearer, I have started to lose some weight (15ish kg so far depending on the time of the month) and now I have a meeting w a PT on Tuesday as I actually don't care what I weigh but I want to get stronger and reduce my visceral fat as it will be better for hormones which is better for lessening my cancer reoccurrence %.

God knows it's (2024) not all roses, I literally had surgery again a fortnight ago and the cost of living in Sydney is giving me so much anxiety. I am still a terribly disorganised mess, my work is undergoing a complete restructure (thanks NSW gmnt) and my clean washing is NEVER folded and put away, it's always in the basket - but I feel so happy and entertained and creative - I am writing again! like it's joy. It's ye olde you are who you are at this moment but you are also the 4 year old you and the 15, 27, 34 year old you - girlhood (non gendered concept of not literal interpretation) and I love it. 💛🩵🌱

[puppy-phum]

tag game ✨

thanks for tagging me zey @thasorns ♥ i teared up at your addition about me, that is so sweet :( i miss our dff talks too! idk what you're into these days but would love to talk about some show with you again :')

-

1. why did you choose your url?

bc am obsessed with one (1) man who belongs to another amazing guy ♥ (been thinking about an url change lately tho bc i'd like to put last twilight and the hurt it caused behind me but haven't found something else to tie myself to yet. maybe we are and phumpeem if the ending delivers?)

2. any sideblogs? if you have them name them and why you have them.

not really. the only side blog i have is my og url vishcount saved for nostalgia purposes but there's nothing on that blog

3. how long have you been on tumblr?

started on this hellsite (affectionate) on the lord's year 2013 and it shows

4. do you have a queue tag?

i don't use the queue much so no. you will only catch me reblogging like ten posts in a row when am online/in the mood and then going back to lurking again

5. why did you start your blog in the first place? 

i was into a bunch of animes and tumblr was filled with amazing fanart. i wanted to be able to look at them in peace

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

to show who my url is about ♥ mork my beloved

7. why did you choose your header?

wanted it to fit the theme. also i adore the last twilight rooftop kiss, it's one of the brightest spots of the show

8. what’s your post with the most notes? 

most likely this the untamed edit from 2020. i was truly living my peak back then :'D tbh i feel like the whole of tumblr was living its peak when the untamed was airing and when we all lost it together for the longest time after

9. how many mutuals do you have?

way too many and i adore all of them, tho i probably forget or cannot recognize most of them. especially if you've changed your url/main fandom OR i have, we might not even know each other anymore haha

10. how many followers do you have?

more than i deserve and idk what all of you are even doing here but i like feeling like i'm part of some type of crowd ♥

11. how many people do you follow?

quite recently i unfollowed some inactive blogs and blogs about things i don't really care for anymore so my follow count is a nice number of 205

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

uh. i don't really know? do some posts from my finnish tumblr (suomitumppu) era count? :'D

13. how often do you use tumblr each day?

am chronically online and i open this app like a fridge

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once?

no, not really. am not really one to share strong opinions, especially negative opinions, publicly online which i think is the cause of most arguments ppl have here. i'd rather just keep my peace and be nice

15. how do you feel about ‘you need to reblog this’ posts 

mostly i don't like doing things when am told to do them

16. do you like tag games?

yes! it always makes me happy to know that someone is thinking about me and i do find these a lot of fun to do ^^

17. do you like ask games?

also yes. i just don't often reblog those bc i don't really have a lot of interactions on this site. if i find an ask game with very interesting questions, i might forward it to kiddo @i-am-just-a-kiddo and we do it together privately to enjoy it like that ♥

18. which of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

the first one that comes to mind is hanyi @ruanbaijie who i think deserves all the recognition for her absolutely amazing giffing skills ♥ she's also the sweetest so idk what's not to follow, make her even more famous if you can!

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

nope. idk if i function like that tbh. i have some huge friend crushes tho and want to be closer with some ppl a lot! not mentioning names bc am shy haha

but i want to say that monica @stormyoceans is very important to me these days. she brightens up my days and makes my whole fandom experience so much better by simply being her enthusiastic and authentic self ♥ never change!

and also jessi @oswlld who i still cannot believe is someone i can call my friend and bestie on this site. i am so happy we've gotten to share bad buddy, vice versa, and last twilight together! also happy to hear about your life at times and to just share silly things with you ♥

third one i want to mention is shannen @icouldhyperfixatehim who always manages to stand out in a positive way. we don't interact much but i cannot help but feel very giddy about their presence on my dash. they leave the best tags and every time they reblog any of my edits with their tags, they manage to make me feel like i've made it and my edit was worth the effort :'D so thank you!

20. tags?

want to tag at least @psychic-waffles @foxofninetales @hils79 @sherrymagic @srnileforme and @thitiponqs ♥ also the ones i mentioned before are free to join and anyone else who wants to do this!

[directdogman]

hello there dog!!! firstly, i just want too say im incredibly proud too see how far you have come, dialtown is so special too me, and for not only that game to be so loved, but also for you too be so involved in the community, is amazing keep up the great work! i do have a question, i am working on a theory pertaining to my favorite characters gingi/milton, and if i may, i have a couple questions about him specifically, if you don't mind of course :) 1. what made you come up with the design/personality of gingi?

2. what are your personal feelings/thoughts on gingi? are you satisficed with them as a character? or are there anything you wish you could change now? 3. this is a wierd one but, gingi generally does not really care what he looks like/what others think, so im really curious why hes so meticulous with making his phone/type head, and if he is so bent up about it, why not try to get someone like Oliver to make him a more proper one? instead of replacing the rotten flesh over and over

4. idk if you can answer this one, but i dont think it can hurt to try...was gingi around, before callum lost his mind?

if you cant answer this, then i have another, what flower would best represent gingi?

Milton question:

ok so....did Callum just straight up cheat on his Marla with Milt?...or am i mistaking something? what i read on the wiki says that milton and Callum had a romantic...fling?

2. did norm know milt? where they friends?

3. does mingus know at least some of the extent of miltons involvement with callum?

4. are there any plans with milton? he seems like such a cool character with crazy potential

that's my questions done, again thank you if you answer! and if not, thank you for making a truly special game, cant wait too see more gingi and dialtown in the future

1)Design for Gingi was primarily based on Frankenstein's aesthetic applied to a the chupacabra. Personality was largely ripped from quite a few unpublished stories/ideas I had before making DT. There's a few protagonists in other things I'd written as potential new game/story ideas that are eerily like Gingi.

2)I'm really really happy with Gingi as a character and I wouldn't change anything that I've established. I like how Gingi starts the game and changes by the end because it's pretty vast, but also not a complete change (and it happens very very gradually.)

TBH, outside of Gingi's interactions in DT, the fandom doesn't really know anything concrete about Gingi due to Gingi's poor memory. Until Gingi formed real human relationships, there was nothing to anchor to, just fragmented and barely remembered individual interactions. Honestly, the bigger picture is really interesting and I'm very happy with Gingi as a protagonist and I'd love to make sequels to DT as I've had concrete ideas for where the character would get up to in potential sequels for years now!

3)Gingi's flesh-head is a bit of a mystery. Gingi doesn't have the same adverse reaction to rotting things that most people do, but does have a general chip in its shoulder about being judged as lesser by others. Gingi (generally) does not make efforts to change its appearance to be seen as less repulsive by others, as we can plainly see from the fact Gingi often forgets (or refuses) to wear clothes.

4)I have all the main character date of births written down, so I could tell you Gingi's exact age... but it's more fun if I don't.

FOR MILT:

1)I'm not really sure why the wiki says that. There's no canon materials that state that Crown + Milt had an affair together. I think someone just read between the lines and stated their hunch as a fact.

2)Norm and Milt met but didn't know each other well. There was a cut mention of Milt in Norm's dialogue, but after a lot of head-scratching, felt the topic was too forced. Norm wouldn't have volunteered the information unless it was relevant to the scene and Gingi would not have asked.

3)Mingus knows about Milt, though not intimately. The only person alive during Mingus' lifetime who could've talked about Milt to her was her grandmother Marla, who was a husk of a person for Mingus' whole life (and in particular, talking about Milt would've hurt too much for her given their closeness.) Mingus knows about Milt from her obsessive study of her paw paw's presidency, but not much more than any historian/social studies teacher would. A lot of information I'd consider very important about Milt was never put to paper.

4)I'm not 100% sure why the fandom likes him as much as they do, given how little of him the fandom has seen (and how little information there is about him out there so far.) I just wanted a few references to him included in canon so I could potentially reveal more about him one day without fans wondering how this SUPER important character had never been mentioned. It's incredibly likely that I'll show more of Milt in future DT stuff due to how instrumental he was in Crown's decision-making + rise to power. There would be no practical way to expand on Crown without discussing Milt more.

There's a much bigger picture that the fandom hasn't seen much of that Milt is very important to, though it isn't often relevant to the modern day events of DT. Understanding Milt isn't important to understand DT itself, but is to understand both Crown and exactly how the world (and by extension, Dialtown itself) ended up exactly the way it did. And with time, I will discuss that some more.

[joocomics]

Hiya Dinna~~~ I'd like to ask your opinion on MTL into body worship/praising, giving and receiving ~

finally someone is asking this 😋 i will separate body worship & praising cause i think the answers are different for each ~

༻ mtl to be into body worship: giving

most

seungmin

gunil

jungsu

jooyeon

jiseok

junhan

least

seungmin & gunil i think are so obvious. as the soft doms they are, they have to be constantly making sure you know how gorgeous you are; they worship your body features 24/7, so we’re not talking about this being just a sexual kind of thing, it’s just how they are. that’s why they also love helping you out in the shower by washing your body, then rubbing sweet scented oils in your skin, giving you massages - they just really love your body and they want to take good care of it, reminding you how precious it really is

jungsu & jooyeon love kissing your body up and down, whispering how beautiful it is against your skin, and it’s something they always make sure to do before they get inside you, but they’re so eager to feel you as soon as possible that they just don’t get so immersed in it as the previous two

jiseok & junhan love doing all the things i mentioned too, however i place them last only because i see them being more aroused from receiving it themselves

༻ mtl to be into body worship: receiving

most

gunil

seungmin

jiseok

jungsu

junhan

jooyeon

least

gunil & seungmin are we even surprised? i switched them, because i can see gunil being even a little bit more into body worship than seungmin. he’ll get all cheeky and giggly as you devour his thighs and abs (as he deserves), telling you it’s all yours. they both work so hard for these bodies of course they would like to know you love how they look

jiseok & jungsu love a good body worship moment when you can’t stop kissing them everywhere, especially on their waist and tummies. they don’t mind you leaving them lipstick marks and a few hickeys here and there, so they can not only feel, but also see how much you love their bodies

junhan and jooyeon enjoy this, but don’t gravitate towards it in comparison to other things in bed. they prefer much more praising imo

༻ mtl to be into praising: giving

most

gunil

jungsu

seungmin

jooyeon

jiseok

junhan

least

gunil & jungsu praise you for almost everything you do tbh, they’re that whipped. the praises make you feel good, but they also make them feel good as well. it makes their tummy swirl a little, and they’re addicted to the cute reactions you make, especially when it’s in bed

seungmin & jooyeon might not throw praises at you all the time, but they always know when it’s needed and appreciated. they do it often in bed though; they praise a looot when you give them head, even when they can barely speak

jiseok & junhan are last for different reasons

jiseok is cheeky and likes teasing you, so that’s why he gives praises less than the others. it’s not because you’re not his good girl or you don’t deserve them, he just has more fun when he calls you his naughty girl

junhan gives praises most of the time in different ways - pats on the head, kisses and hugs, not verbally, while in bed he prefers to receive them

༻ mtl to be into praising: receiving

most

junhan

jooyeon

jungsu

jiseok

seungmin

gunil

least

junhan & jooyeon eat up compliments and praises. their faces lit up, their eyes start sparkling from the smallest appreciative word you tell them. in bed they need to know if they’re doing good when they’re pulling the strings, and they need to know if they’re being good for you, if you’re the one in charge

jungsu & jiseok get really turned on if you praise them. it boosts their confidence so much. if you do it in bed it works magic on them; they get cocky and always answer like “oh, yeah? am i fucking you good?” encouraging you to keep going with the compliments

seungmin & gunil enjoy hearing praises too of course, but they’re last because it can’t compare to the thrill of giving them to you. they don’t mind if you don’t make compliments in bed cause your screams and body language speak enough for themselves; they much prefer when you become speechless from being too fucked out