#I'd like to think I am... you can't improve if you don't try in the first place right?

[burningcheese-merchant]

Mythological Inspirations: Matar Paneer Cookie Edition

So, where did Matar Paneer- nah I don't feel like making this joke again. Indian curry dish + crazy lion lady + demon slaying goofball pretty boy. BOOM.

Next installment of "Merchant rants about how far she went designing these fankids into a void for 10 hours"

Same as/with/for Pepper Jack, I researched and took inspiration from Egyptian and Hindu mythology while drafting up Matar Paneer. If Golden Cheese is Ra, and Burning Spice is Shiva, and Pepper Jack is the bennu bird + Ganesha... what does that make our little lady here?

Remember how Shiva has two sons? Jack is already one, so Paneer is, naturally, the other one. She takes after Kartikeya, second son of Shiva and Parvati, god of war and victory.

Kartikeya's primary color is red. So Paneer's is, as well. It's her favorite color and what she likes to wear the most. (It's also partially because of Burning Spice lol. Red will always = Papa to her to some degree)

Kartikeya is armed with a divine spear called Vel, which was a gift from his mother. Though Paneer wields and favors her katar, she will one day carry a spear alongside them, also a gift from her own mother (can't wait to tell that story haha)

One of Kartikeya's symbols is a peacock; this is because he has a giant peacock (named Paravani) as a mount. Likewise, I had Paneer befriend a peacock, which will one day grow big enough for her to ride around on herself (can't wait to tell that story either! I personally like my little interpretation of Paravani. Matar Paneer and her little bird bestie haha)

Kartikeya has a very innocent and playful personality; he's quite silly and mischievous, and likes to mess with things for fun (ex: messing with planets' orbits, stacking mountains on top of each other, stopping the flow of the Ganges river, etc). Paneer is quite similar (something else I didn't know beforehand, I swear. Paneer being a little gremlin just like the god she ends up taking after is another happy coincidence), going on little adventures and making messes and having... destructive tendencies like her Papa lol. (But she never means any harm. She's a good kid, she's just a bit impulsive and reckless)

Sometimes, Kartikeya is depicted with six heads (varies by scripture). Bit of a stretch, but I thought of having Paneer own six masks, each one wildly different from the other, that she'll often wear for fun. (I'll explain this better in another post)

Kartikeya is credited with defeating many monsters and demons, minor and major. So Paneer will grow up to become a renowned demon slayer, just like him (spoiling the end of her story there lol)

Golden Cheese is clearly inspired by Ra, Egyptian god of the sun and head of the pantheon (it's extra obvious with her Awakened form lol). The stories vary wildly from what I've seen, but the most baseline concept is that Ra has 3 daughters. Believing her to be the most fitting, I chose to have Paneer take after Sekhmet, Egyptian goddess of war, chaos, plague and medicine.

Sekhmet's primary color is also red. More red for our little lady. (All the war gods like red, so predictable smh)

Sekhmet is extremely violent and bloodthirsty, as her profession suggests. Born from the fire in Ra's eye, her main purpose in life is to protect him, help uphold cosmic order, and punish mortals for disobedience towards either. Paneer is... quite temperamental lol. Very strong-willed, very easily frustrated, very emotional. Fiercely protective of those she loves. And she can be... vengeful. Very, very vengeful. I will not elaborate further because it's spoilery as fuck lol

Like most of the other gods, Sekhmet is a furry part animal, with a woman's body and a lioness's head. Also a bit of a stretch, but... a certain young lady is getting a lioness tattoo on her back when she's an adult, as a nod/homage haha. Also, Golden Cheese's special nickname for her is "little lioness"

Sekhmet is often depicted with a lotus in one hand, and an ankh in the other. There, now you know why Paneer has a lotus in her hair lol (she's also getting an ankh tattoo when she's an adult, on her left wrist since that's the hand Sekhmet is always seen using to hold it (Paneer is getting a lot of tattoos when she's older, as you can see))

The Egyptians very much believed in names having power (common idea in the ancient world, really, but they were extra into it), so Sekhmet, like all the other gods, has like a billion names lol. To keep things simple (I counted 15 names the first time I looked into her and I'm pretty sure there's more), Paneer only gets a few: "Red Lady" (this one in particular), "Lady of Slaughter", "Mistress of Dread" and "She Before Whom Evil Trembles". The first three, people in general give her as a result of her actions/accomplishments (demon slayer, remember?) and are meant in a positive, reverent way (sometimes with a small touch of fear, admittedly). The last one is what High Priest Cheesenbird calls her. He has a term of affection/endearment for both children

Sekhmet can breathe fire; in fact, the Ancient Egyptians often credited/associated her with the hot desert winds because of it. I think I said this before already, but Paneer is a fire breather, too (she can light her hands and feet on fire, as well. Not a full-on firebender but not too far away)

In an interesting contradiction, Sekhmet is a goddess of both disease and medicine. She's bitter and wrathful, and causes plague outbreaks as a form of punishment for mankind... but she cures them, too. She's feared and looked to for salvation at the same time. She's even considered a patroness of physicians and healers. So... Perhaps our little firebreather has a hidden knack for healing, too. A secret power. One that's only noticed by another healer who would know how to spot and nurture such a talent *cough*Pure Vanilla*cough*. Maybe. Perhaps 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

Also, here's some doodles of more general things just because

There's little Paravani lol. Hopefully I actually start improving as an artist eventually, so I can draw Paravani better (or more in line with how he looks in my head. I don't really want a regular looking peacock, that's boring)

There's the little cheese lotus Paneer wears in her hair. Just used the one in the Golden Cheese Kingdom decor set as a reference 😅

Ankhs r cool 2 draw. Also, fun fact: they symbolize immortality and reincarnation. Reminds you of her mom, doesn't it? Haha

Tried to draw her katar (Indian knives. Basically Wolverine claws). They were a gift from Cilantro Cobra (she's alive and well in my personal canon ok 😫), and she went the extra mile to have little symbols engraved in both. Burning Spice's in one, Golden Cheese's in the other

She's supposed to have little green earrings that look like green peas ("matar" means green pea, "paneer" is the Indian cheese. Literally "green pea cheese" lol). Her design references the food she's supposed to be a lot more than Jack's, I think

Ok I'm done now. I'm sorry this post was so late. I'm also sorry this is all on paper and in shitty ass lighting, me no have drawing tablet. Thank you for coming to my TED Talk

[medicinemane]

Sometimes you have something that you could say, that you think about saying, that you more or less know how you'd phrase it... but it's just not fucking worth it cause you know for a fact that people don't fucking listen

I don't know, I try to stay... if not optimistic then at least with a mind set of "doesn't matter, we've got no choice but to try and make things better"

Truthfully though I think I'm extremely pessimistic when it comes to the chances of anyone actually listening to what I say

I'm not sure if I'm just bad with words but... it seems impossible to convey even simple thoughts to people so... truthfully I've more or less given up and have just stopped trying. Especially if I don't at least know people well

So there it is

[hotwe]

Tax Season Commissions!

Hi everyone! It's that special time of year again! Time to pay the IRS so they don't come gank me, along with yet another surgery for my cat son (another mass removal but it's just a lil one on his gums so don't worry about him he'll be fine once it's gone however this still will cost over 1k lmaoooo) and with the other expenses- mainly finally getting prints and additional stickers made- this year's goal is around $3k!

Interested? ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿ ↓ clicky! ↓

Here is the plan to try and reduce strain to keep hotwe projects from being neglected for 4-5 months!

I will offer traditional hand drawn commissions! The price for these is generally lower because there is no color to contend with!

Some original hotwe art (that I had been saving for the artbook kickstarter lol) will also be for sale. Tumblr crowd you wouldn't be familiar with these pieces since they're on patreon only$1forallrewardsalsosometimesforfreejustsaying but I'll make a post showing what's available.

Livestreaming is likely! Either streaming commission work which is always fun or ??? Whatever needed for your viewing pleasure I suppose! I'd collect tips/donos here from anyone who wanted to toss a penny my way rather than get a commission.

Prints pre-orders are possible, I'm still figuring that out!

How to get a commission:

(and this time I am going to explain everything fully lol)

Start by sending me an email [ contact.hotwe@gmail ] with a description of what you'd like to have done! You can tell me as much or as little as you like because I will be asking follow up questions regardless!

Commission prices are based 100% on what is being asked for and vary greatly! Once I know enough about what you're looking to get, I will give you an estimate for the price! It can go up or down a bit from there as additional information is given, specifically if you forgot to mention something or if I get more detail about something and realize it wont be as labor intensive as expected.

Do not worry if you have a budget, I will work with it! Changing things like how much is in frame and whether there is color, what kind of background if any, etc, can reduce the price a lot! Even if your piece can't be done within your budget, a sketch is only $45!

The sketch option is your request, in color (unless you don't want color!), with just the flat fee of $45. The caveat is I spend an hour and a half on it only!

I know what you're thinking, but no! With sketches, I won't double the time by doubling the price because that wouldn't be worth it for you at all. I make the most progress on a piece in that first 1.5 hours, then after that it takes a long time- like 10 hours- before any significant improvement happens to the piece. Working on your sketch for 3 hours would hardly look better than 1.5 hours, so let's save your money. iusuallygooverthe1.5hoursanywaysbecauseiamafoolandicannotbesaved

Do not worry about asking for something and finding my price is higher than your budget- you are not insulting me!!! Don't feel shy about a budget either; art is a luxury I can't even afford for myself lmao and I do want my stuff to be accessible to people in my position. Also I like to work with budgets but I am not going to undersell my work, so don't feel like you are doing me a disservice! I've been doing this stuff for a long time so I know how to wiggle around for everyone's benefit. So just shoot your shot!

For hand drawn commissions, it's much the same process as digital ones! Let me know what you are looking for, and if you have a preference on size as well. Generally, a hand drawn piece will be a bit cheaper because I don't have to agonize over color, but depending on factors like size and detail it could also ramp up quickly. However, I don't intend to take on anything particularly intensive, since hand drawn pieces are meant to reduce my commissions work time this year, not add to it!

I mean, technically I could do color, I have the pencils... but at what cost... like spiritually I mean...

Payment! I send invoices through paypal (unfortunately) and I do accept payment plans! My rule is that to protect myself, I work up to what I have been paid. So if I have been paid half the price, I stop when I have done half of the work until I am paid further.

Because of this, the payment time frame is going to be smaller this time since I'm trying to not be working for half a year. Usually I prefer the months to not exceed the first digit of the price (i.e. $100 per month at least) but this time it's going to have a 4 month cut off.

If you have any other questions, feel free to ask in your email! I'm always down to chat, negotiate, and goof!

Thank you guys!

[dailyadventureprompts]

So I've been reading Triangle Agency...

For those not in the know: Triangle Agency is a new weird/corporate horror TTRPG heavily inspired by things like the X files, Delta Green, and Control. You work as agents for the titular organization which sends you out to stabilize reality by dealing with various paranatural Anomalies.

Don't think of this as a review, until I sit down at a table and play this system over a few sessions I won't be able to tell you how well it actually works. What I can tell you is what the game is trying to accomplish with its storytelling and mechanics, and what it's trying to do is interesting.

Unlike a lot of TTRPGs I've read, triangle agency is not interested in giving you a system that you can use to tell whatever story you want. Instead I can compare it to a tabletop version of a choice heavy videogame like Disco Elysium or Bg3: where engaging with the story/mechanics will lead you to one of the endings the authors prepared for you. This is not to say the system is inflexible, that you can't put your own spin on it, GMs can design missions however they want, and player choice is a major focus, but as long as you're playing the game you're furthering the meta story.

As such, this might be the first game that I'd consider running out of the box with only pre-prepped adventures, which is shocking considering how much of a homebrewer I am. Instead, I'd be interested in putting a group of players in this game and just seeing what it does to them, though it'd have to be a very specific group of players than my regular ol gaming group.

The ideal Triangle Agency player is one that's got a primary focus on storytelling over mechanics, who're interested in making big narrative swings happen as a result of their choices. They also need to be comfortable with improv storytelling, as the primary means of interacting with the game requires a quick " what if" session to justify how you're moulding reality into a new shape:

Where another game might have you roll your character's strength for something as simple as kicking down a locked door, Triangle Agency has your party brainstorming a reason why the door would be weak enough for you to kick down in the first place: IE the building has a termite problem, and the hinges were subject to poor storage conditions by the contractor who installed the door. Then you roll. If you succeed, the door is knocked down, the building has a termite problem and has *always* had a termite problem, and an entire human being, Gary the negligent contractor, has been spoken into existence. You are likely to meet him on your next mission.

In many ways this is explicitly like Blades in the Dark's flashback mechanic, except made an explicit part of the game world. Your characters have the same reality distorting abilities of the Anomalies they're hunting, and they have to be careful lest they delete whole swaths of their life trying to angle for a better roll.

This is where we get into Triangle Agency's focus on character, and the secondary requirement that players be the type to get invested in their eldritch business blorbo as they are subjected to various corporate horrors™. This is a game interested in change whether it manifests as choice, trauma, or metamorphosis, and the ante for these interactions is your player/characters investment in the world. Part of this is with your character's contacts, NPCs who are as essential to an agent's build as their anomalous superpowers or their job with the Agency. To give extra weight to these relationships, each one is portrayed by another player at the table, which I thought was an ingenious way to not only take the burden off the GM, but also to give players more screen time even when their primary agent is off stage.

That leads me to the genius primary progression mechanic: The choice between whether to spend time with your Agent's contacts, focus on their Agency job, or delve into the eldritch truth of their powers, and how to split their finite time off between them. Here we get player choice, story, and mechanics all tied together in a neat little package as progression along any of these tracks unlock new abilities while also revealing more and more of the game's secrets. Possibilities for the game's story open up/are blocked off specifically with how the players choose to personally spend their XP, and if that's not a feat of game design ( or more aptly, craft) I don't know what is.

Final Thoughts: Despite having a delightful time reading the rulebook/optional mission pack (Seriously, the vibes are stellar) I don't know if I'm actually going to get to play Triangle Agency at any point in the near future. I think getting the most out of this game depends so much on finding the right playgroup for it and then pouring in enough time to unlock one of the endings. I'd want to see the mechanism of it's story/mechanics/drama play out, but doing so is one heck of a commitment.

However, if you've got a group full of storytellers that are up for the challenge and you're looking for something substantial to play next, I don't think I could recommend it enough.

I'm also going to be keeping my eyes out for longform actual plays of this one, I'd love to see what a group of performers could do with this.

[dragon-watcher03]

how would the mk characters (you pick) react if they met a sorcerer reader just like quan chi?

MK Men x Sorcerer! Reader

Note: Results of the pole from a previous post. Reader is known as 'The Ruler of Shadows". Female reader since you didn't specify a gender and I don't really wanna write Gender neutral rn.

Ft. Liu Kang, Raiden, Smoke, Shang Tsung

Liu Kang: The others seem cautious of you.

You: I can't say I blame them.

Liu Kang: Your abilities improve with every fight, Y/n.

You: Does that mean I'm better than that clown?

Liu Kang: You have always contrasted Shang Tsung and Quan Chi in every timeline.

You: I hope to continue that, should there be another timeline after this.

You: Is the whole "sorcerer" thing a turn off?

Liu Kang: When it comes to you? No.

You: Hmph, I'm no stranger to fire.

Liu Kang: The scars across your body tell me so.

You: A sorceress and a God. Sounds...

Liu Kang: Like a recipe for disaster. But with you, it's the good kind.

Raiden: It pains me that others think so lowly of you.

You: huffs I really only care about what you think about me.

Raiden: Madame Bo spoke highly of you.

You: At least someone does...

Raiden: You need not prove yourself to me, I believe your heart is pure as gold.

You: Hm, you are too kind for your own good, Raiden.

You: You ready to get your ass kicked?

Raiden: Please go easy on me... And no tentacles this time.

You: Y'know, I can show you why I'm better than that clown.

Raiden: I don't need to see it to believe it, but please, go ahead.

You: I always liked you more than Kung Lao. That man needs his ego taken down a notch...

Raiden: chuckles I try my best, my Queen.

Smoke: Please tell me you aren't like him...

You: I'm relieved to say I am not.

Smoke: You are a Necromancer, right? Are you able to speak with the dead?

You: Yes, and your mother says she's very proud of you.

Smoke: Are you the fire to my smoke? Cause you're hot.

You: laughs Did Johnny teach you that?

You: This Queen of Shadows could use a King of Smoke.

Smoke: I- uh- clears throat I-I'd be honored...

You: Your skills are awe-inspiring, Tomas. I must say, I am impressed.

Smoke: A-ah, th-thank you, my Queen. God, why must I stutter so much?

You: Why so red, my King? Don't tell me your knees buckle when in my presence~

Smoke: Good lord, you're gonna kill me here.

Shang Tsung: Such potential, all wasted on that bastard...

You: You will not speak of Lord Liu Kang, snake.

Shang Tsung: You'd look so pretty at my side, dearest~

You: Tch, your charm had no effect on me!

Shang Tsung: I will have you one day, my pretty little sorceress.

You: Ugh, I'd rather deal with Cage than you.

You: You are lucky I don't strike you down where you stand...

Shang Tsung: Oh I do welcome the challange~

You: Your flirting is worse than Johnny's.

Shang Tsung: Ouch, playing dirty are we?

You: If you weren't such a prick, I'd actually consider it.

Shang Tsung: I take it you don't make exceptions?

[yawujin]

can u do how the thh girls would flirt?

sure , why not ( ദ്ദി ˙ᗜ˙ )

{ request } how the danganronpa thh girls would flirt 💭 . ★⋆. ࿐࿔

ⓘ head canon format , cute , light hearted , non killing game , flirting , they/them pronouns used

kyoko kirigiri ♡

very indirect with it

it's hard for her to outright flirt with someone, so she starts slowly by doing things to include the person she has her eye on

for example: saving them a seat right next to her at a table

inviting them out even if she's with all her other friends, just because she wants them there

gives them moral support and always tells them when they've done a good job on something

(whenever they're not around, though, she talks to her friends about them, like...non-stop)

toko fukawa ♡

toko? flirting? HA

she's so weird i love her!!!

but really, it's hit or miss with her

depending on the person she likes' personality

her style of flirting can either be endearing or just...gross

LOTS of innuendos...

probably sends those dumb dirty memes to the person she likes too 💀

aoi asahina ♡

becomes very sharing and very caring

much more than usual, actually...

she's really confident in herself so she isn't afraid of letting the fact that she is interested in someone show

the type to want to impress whoever she is after

celestia ludenberg ♡

strategically uses the feedback loop to get the message of "yes , i am infact flirting with you" to them

meaning, she basically compliments them everytime they do something for her, that she wants them to continue doing

they bring her a cup of tea once?

she tells them "you're so good to me!" or something of the sort, and it makes them want to do it more often

over time, celeste moves up from just compliments to kissing them on the cheek each time they do something nice for her...motivating them even more to do stuff for her

smooth moves tbh

sakura ogami ♡

also the type to want to impress them

starts off being friendly with them and inviting them to her martial arts tournaments

may or may not be the type to convince them to try martial arts out just so they can spend more time together for fun!

they study martial arts together, go to the gym together, and gradually sakura opens up more to them

she's a little conflicted on whether she should be more direct with the flirting or just wait some more though...

sayaka maizono ♡

always find a way to go up and talk to them

she wants to know their opinion on her new songs, what outfit she has on, how she can improve her perfomances...etc

once they do give her their advice/opinion, she changes what she can to cater to them. of course, still finding ways to keep her authenticity

she then goes to them with a smile on her face and tells them that she does it all for them ;)

one thing is for sure, she knows how to live up to a fantasy

junko enoshima ♡

literally does the same thing as celeste but is more overt with the pet names

also is more handsy earlier on

the haste brings her great despair

she's demanding, but they (most likely) won't notice it because uses sweet words like;

"please, be a dear and do [such and such] for me."

notice how she doesn't ask for a favor and just tells them to do it? yeah

don't worry! she'll give them a reward that will have them coming back over and over !!

mukuro ikusaba ♡

she becomes kind of a loser when she likes someone

always asking about every little detail of their day, what they love to do, what foods they like, the types of movies they like to watch

asks questions a little too much, but she can't help it!

she wants to know it all

and she holds onto every little thing that they say...

thinks saying "i'd kill for you." is a way of flirting

...but depending on the person it might just be.

[gortash-did-nothing-wrong]

Parental Negotiations

Feyd x reader

Pregnancy, canon typical violence suggested, etc. Feyd is Lowkey his own warning.

Feyd's brown wrinkled as he narrowed his eyes. "None?"

I tensed, anticipating a fight. Feyd had the energy to argue all day if he cared enough about the topic, and for better or worse our future children were an important topic to him. But at seven months pregnant, I had no desire to do such a feat. Once upon a time I would have loved to have verbally sparred with him over the course of several hours, riling him up until he was ready to throw me into our bed. None of that sounded appealing these days. I'd rather the two of us spend our evening quietly, holding each other, watching some documentary or education text until I fell asleep. Is this how old people felt?

Feyd and I were both barely in our early twenties, but this pregnancy feels like it had aged me in an unexpected way. Or maybe I was just tired. That could be it.

I sighed, sitting down on the couch that took up a large space in my living quarters. Feyd had his own rooms of course, but he spent most of his time in mine. It would be smothering if I didn't like him so much. "I don't want to use a wet nurse when the baby is born. I want to feed my child from my own breast. And I don't really want to use nursemaids either, I'd prefer to raise my own child."

Feyd was quiet for a moment, his eyes staring me down like he was trying to determine just how serious I was about this issue. When he did speak, his raspy voice was gentler than usual. "You're the Na Baroness. You'll be the Baroness one day. You have obligations beyond being a wife and mother."

"I know, and I'm not going to neglect those duties. I think I'll take one or two months to rest with the baby, and after that, I'll see how much I can get done with them on my hip." I explained. "I'm open to using a part time nursemaid, sparingly. So I can have someone hold the baby while I shower, and other such needs."

"And if you can't manage to meet your duties with our child strapped to your chest?" Feyd pressed calmly.

"Then I'll be open to using a nursemaid. Sparingly, of course." I said firmly. "Some weight could be lifted if you assisted me, you know. I don't expect you to drop everything to help me, but watching them for a few hours while I get my duties done would help a lot."

Feyd looked bewildered. "When am I supposed to find the time to do that?!"

I chuckled. "You could strap him to your chest while you do your morning run." I suggested.

"What's wrong with using the nursemaid?" Feyd probed again. "They'll be properly vetted I assure you. And the royal guard will never be far."

"Listen, I know most nobles think that seeing their child once a day for afternoon tea is being an involved parent, but I disagree." I said firmly. "I'm not going to carry this baby for nine months, go through hours of labor, love them more than I ever thought I could love anyone, and then just hand him off to a stranger to raise. I want to be the one to teach him to talk, and walk, and play with him. I know the sleepless nights when he's sick or having a tantrum will be difficult at best, but I want those hard times. I want… I want to actually be a mother."

Feyd's eyes glazed over, my words still registering as he remembered something. Some far off memory that I would likely never be privy to. He hadn't ever spoken much about either of his parents, but he avoided the topic of his mother like a snake avoiding a hawk. Perhaps there was some dusty memory in the corners of his mind of a mother that soothed his fevers, kissed his scraped up knees, and sang his nightmares away with lullabies.

"Alright." He said, a firmness in his voice that assured dependableness and security. "No wet nurses. And I'll only have two nursemaids hired, both part time."

Two nursemaids was a great improvement over the seven that the Baron had told you to expect. Seven nursemaids to attend to the future of House Harkonnen. And three wetnurses. How much could one baby eat? Perhaps the Baron expected Feyd's child to have an appetite to match his.

I smiled, leaning over and kissing Feyd's cheek. "Thank you, love. This means a lot to me."

"If you neglect your duties, I won't be able to prevent more nursemaids being hired." Feyd warned. "And if you're unable to care for our child sufficiently, I will insist on the nursemaids stepping in more."

"I understand." I said gently, resting a hand on his arm. "I just want… when our child wakes up from a nightmare, I want them to call out for me, not a nanny."

Feyd's eyes softened. He rested his hand on my belly, rubbing little circles over where our baby rested inside me. "I will never truly understand motherhood, or your desire for it. But this is important for you, so it's important to me. And… I do admit to wanting something similar."

"You do?" I asked, surprised.

"When I was a boy, I used to go to my combat instructors when I had an injury or needed advice." Feyd explains. "I was wondering the other day about which instructors I should pick for my child, and I realized… I wanted to be the one to teach them. I wanted to be the one to bandage his cuts, and correct his stance. Not some retired general I select to train him for me."

I leaned into Feyd, gasping a little as our baby moved inside me, kicking right where Feyd's hand rested. "Oh! Ugh… they're getting stronger. That one hurt a bit."

Feyd chuckled, rubbing the little outline of our baby's foot. "A strong kick. Good, they'll need that."

"I think you'll be a good father." I said, images of Feyd instructing our child, a toddler in my fantasy, on how to throw their first punch. "Just remember, little hearts need a soft touch, not just a firm hand."

Feyd's lips pressed against my forehead as our child gave another kick. Lighter this time, thankfully. "I'll try to remember that."

[panelshowsource]

i have a lot of episode requests i'm working on so i'll make another post with those shortly!

———

this is such a fun question — i wish i had an answer! most of my "conspiracy theories" have more to do with certain comedians being misunderstood (in both good and bad ways), as people tend to want to like who they like and hate who they hate out of selfishness that is somewhat at odds with reality. at times. like, for example, not a lot of people want to talk about how many comedians actually didn't like sean lock at all in the early 00s because of how cutthroat and competitive he was on panel shows (mock the week flashbacks, anyone?); we don't enjoy thinking about that because, as fans, we all like sean and think he was a hilarious, honest, decent person. i could talk more about this but tbh defending someone i think people misunderstand or tearing down someone people love is kinda...not the kind of discourse i'm trying to do on this website 😅 anyways, that's where most of my theories lie (that and dating theories? maybe?), but that's not enough to call them conspiracy theories ig? this isn't a conspiracy theory, right? because i so passionately believe everything i said there hahahaha

do you have any you'd share? 👀🌀

i think argumental is probably the most underrated to me, because as much as...no one...talks about shows like duck quacks don't echo and rhod gilbert's growing pains, they've had enough high-profile or just popular-within-britcom guests that people have checked them out even for just one specific episode. but i feel like no one has watched argumental!!!!!!! which, i get it, it's a lot of straight white guys standing around doing fake mainsplaining lol (please remember that before, like, 5 years ago, that's about all panel shows were) but i think the premise of impromptu debate is really funny, some of the formats really bamboozle the debaters which leads to funny banter and improv, and it was so fun to see sean lock in menace mode as host 😋

i can't say it's the best ever made or anything — because, like series like there's something about movies (jennifer saunders i love you!!!!), rob beckett's smart tv, etc it's just two opposite panels answering kinda boring questions — but if you love david tennant and i know you do because everyone rightly does then you should try comedy world cup! he's such a wonderful host and there are a lot of panel show faves as guests

and on the topic of meh-to-decent formats with A+ hosts and big name panels, have you ever tried was it something i said or insert name here? they each have their moments for sure, i think a lot of people wanted to see wisis come back (maybe we're all just obsessed with david 🤷‍♀️)

you MUST listen to the unbelievable truth if you haven't, it's such a stellar radio show

another required panel experience is the recent series guy mont spelling bee and i'm holding a gun to your head when i say this watch it and watch it right now

as many of you know i'm not a fan of a league of their own but the road trip series are def some of the better episodes so if you like the panelists you can check that out for sure

does that help a little? tbh most of what i WANT to recommend isn't panel shows but scripted series or tangential reality shows (like travel man), but you asked about panel shows specifically so i stuck with them!

i haven't, and i surprise myself because lily savage was so iconic and i am sure i scrolled past her era a bunch of times back in the day. i'd give it a try if an episode had the right amalgamation of guests, so i'll check it out!!

omg there are so many moments from so many series — and i added quite a few to these random panel shows moments posts i did last year so i'll try not to repeat myself — but let me rack my brain real quick...

as i always say THIS is my favourite wilty clip ever and i stand by that

david the tortoise

yoshi the actual tortoise

"if this turns out to be a lie you are a shamless little light entertainer"

tell 'em david!! cuz she really does have horrible views lol

the elephant :/

for the last six months i've been secretly liasing with david's wife behind his bak

obviously the horse story

omg and the THERE'S NOOOOOO UNIVERSITY story

and on the topic of classics this was always my bob mortimer fave maybe because of the genuine awe of the panel in the end lol

and on the topic of genuine awe definitely this one

this miles jupp car crash

bermuda

i love rhod's potato tattoo and it's so funny that denise is like 'why have you got that??' so sincerely she was so astounded lmaooo

i was genuinely invited to harry and megan's wedding today but i said no because i had to come here and do this

i once shared a tent in kent with susie dent

another recent fave is this adorable one<3

oh man anon there are soooo many more maybe i can work on a masterpost of both funny moments funny whole lies/truths, or a youtube video or something (i said i'd get back into making videos). did i mention even one of your faves?? hehehe

omg anon you must watch this if you haven't the ben whishaw obsession is NOT a drill

he also talks about it in his book!

god he's so relatable

OMG I DID the nostalgia...

the way they didn't want to just talk about popworld but they didn't go one whole minute without saying popworld hahahaha they're soooooo cute

richard the popworld horse mentioned!!!!!!!

miquita being a whole child when she got cast for popworld, like it's so wild to think about

"has it been clear from what we've discussed that i'm a reclusive genius and master of cinema?" + "we pretended to be pretentious directors in berets...and i have become that guy now"

i know they were 98% kidding but the 2% of them that would go through with the popworld baby?? CAN YOU IMAGINE

you can't be surprised that a guy who wears false teeth in the name of absurd comedy for a living enjoyed a film about a man who wears false teeth in the name of absurd comedy!

a friend of mine gifted me a while of nordvpn, so that's what i've been using lately, but it depends what you need a vpn for. for example, if you're torrenting and need to seed content (for ratios or whatever), you'll need something with port forwarding like airvpn. if you're just trying to find something to switch between countries' netflixes or abuse streaming services, surfshark is very popular but i'd say expressvpn comes more highly recommended. once you pick the vpn you'd like to use, it's easy to find tutorials on youtube!

aww you're too kind 🥹🫂

———

☆ FAQ ➜ PANEL SHOW WATCH LINKS • NON-PANEL SHOW WATCH LINKS ♥ https://ko-fi.com/panelshowsource

[bigball-thefrog]

hey there! once again wishing you good luck on those exams! but i was wondering if maybe you could write something for law?

i was thinking maybe that Law and the reader had met awhile back on the readers island and she like saved him from something when he was a rookie. then obviously she joins his crew and stuff but then one day an incident happens that causes the reader to die and Law is devastated as the years go by

But here’s the twist!☝🏻The reader didn’t actually die but instead she survived and the Strawhats found her wondering around and took her in🙏🏻So know she’s a member of the strawhats, then Law meets her again in Punk Hazard.

The rest is up to you! I just kinda want it to be angsty and heartbreaking when Law meets the reader again like maybe I don’t know she fell for someone else…(if you can…can you make the reader nerdy bc i’m a nerd🧍🏻‍♀️)

Helloooo!!! I'm back and I've finished your request, I hope you like it. I know I said I'd post a few yesterday but I got tired. But I'll try and post than just this today because I've got quite a bit planned. But for now, enjoy more Law suffering

Warnings/Tags:

Female reader

Law can't be happy for a goddam minute before it all goes to shit

______________________________

Narrator POV

You lived a peaceful life in a small village by the sea. Nothing much ever happened until one day you were collecting seaweed when you saw a man about your age wash up on the beach with a polar bear. The Polar begged you for help and you took them both in.

When the man woke up, he thanked you and introduced himself as Law, a rookie pirate, and the Polar bear was his right hand man, Bepo. They stayed with you for awhile and grew kinda close, you knew a lot about botany which and medicine which was good for Law, to help him heal and to improve his skills as a doctor, you both also got along with your shared love the comic, Sora, Warrior of the Sea. When it was time for Law to leave, he invited you to come with, and he accepted, making you the botanist/herbalist of the heart pirates. You grew closer as the days went by, you knew that law was mostly closed off from showing much emotion but you were starting to break down that cold wall around his heart, getting closer than most, even starting to get almost, intimate, with him. But it didn't last long...

At the events of Sabaody, you and the rest of the crew were fighting against the Pacifistas and were struggling to get away, Law was distracted trying to save everyone he didn't even notice he was being aimed at. As it fired, you managed to push Law out the way, causing you to he blasted instead. You went flying from the blast and Law was too slow reach you. He wanted to run after you but he was quickly picked up by Bepo as he ran with him. He struggled but it was no point. Once the fight was over and the marines were gone, Law and the rest of the crew spent all of their time, searching for you and where you went, only leaving when the events of Marineford happened. But you were nowhere to be found... You were gone... Another person, close to Law.. Gone...

--------------------------------------------------

Two years later at Punk Hazzard, Law had just allied with the Strawhats and was following Luffy back to their current hideout so he could swap back the bodies of the crew he changed.

He walked in, first noticed the giant children, then the crew, then... You...? No, it couldn't be, you were dead, you were killed in Sabaody and Law couldn't find your body! How, how were you here?! Why were you here, why didn't you come back to him?! Law stood frozen and it was only when Nami shouted at him to change her back that he snapped out of his thoughts and changed them back, but right after he ignored everyone else and walked right up to you. "Oi..." He called out as he stood right in front of you. You looked up at him, confused but smiled, "Oh, hello. Are you a friend of Luffy's?" "Stop the act, you know who I am.." "No, I don't... Have we met before?" dammit, why were you acting like this?! Of course you two had met before! "Yeah, I'm your captain remember?" you shook your head, "No you're not, Luffy's my captain, I only just joined recently at Sabaody"

Sabaody?! How?? He searched every inch of that island for you!! "Cut the bullshit! You're not apart of the Strawhats! You're apart of my crew! You were a botanist/herbalist that helped me make medicine on my ship! The Polar Tang, remember?!" Law shouted out, you looked at him sympathetically, "I'm sorry but I don't remember... I don't remember much before waking up on Sabaody..." Law clenched his fists, you must've lost your memories when you got blasted by the Pacifistas... And now you don't remember him at all...

Defeated, Law just sat next to you, "Sorry, you just reminded me of an old friend... That I lost two years ago..." "Oh... I'm so sorry..." you frowned and moved a little closer to him, "It's fine... I just miss them a lot, and you look identical to them.." Law mumbled. You both went into a comfortable silence until Law decided to still check up on you despite you not remembering him, "So, how have the Strawhats been treating you?" He asked. He listened to you as you began rambling about all the stuff you've done with them already, you were still making medicine and growing your plants, you assisted Chopper now with the medical filed, but what hurt the most was when you mentioned that you had tarted growing feelings for Zoro. Now that was a punch in the gut, all the close, intimate, personal moments that you shared with Law, gone. Now all your feelings dedicated to the swordsman...

He went quiet again and when you noticed this and tried to apologize but he just looked away, how could he even look at you now that you remember nothing and he remembered everything... You were gone, the person he had grown to love, care for and let down his walls for, was gone... You looked genuinely upset, nit understanding what he was thinking or going through so you just looked down with a frown on your face. When Law glanced back and saw your frown his heart clenched. He hated seeing you frown and be hated being the reason for that frown even more. Maybe, this was for the best? Maybe you were better with the Strawhats, but dammit it hurt so much to think about you not being with him anymore.. But now with the alliance, he could see you for a little longer.. Maybe, he could get ode to you again and maybe something in you would snap and you'd remember... With a deep exhale he turned back to face you and spoke about the first thing you two bonded over, "So... You like Sora, Warrior of the Sea?"

______________________________

Alright, so for tonight, I've got a part 2 of I request I did, then I've just gotten a new request to do, then I'll be posting a poll with three of my ideas that I'll let you all pick the order of which I post them in. I'll see you all real soon.

Kelly🐸

[uniquethingtastemaker]

So, I have a lot of Vil fanfics in the works, right? So much so that the Rook x Reader fanfic I was writing turned into a Vil one. Honestly, it was frustrating. However, it got me thinking about why I like writing for Vil. I thought I'd explain.

Vil is like my Epel. Vil wants to see Epel improve, and I want to see Vil improve. He has so much potential, but it's going to waste! It's ridiculous. Pomefiore is about bettering yourself. He should follow his dorm's code of conduct by focusing on communication skills.

Another thing I like about Vil is he'd be less resistant than Epel. In Chapter 5, Epel has a big inferiority complex surrounding his masculinity. Because of that, he's resistant to Vil's suggestions. On the other hand, Vil values improving oneself above all. In Chapter 6, Vil told Idia that even if there's a 1% chance that something will work, you should go for it. You can say you tried by the end. If you didn't, you wouldn't know if it worked. (I could be totally wrong about that quote, so please correct me if I am.) That's Vil's mindset. He's willing to try different things if it will help improve himself. That's an attractive quality. It's refreshing to write someone so willing to better themselves. In my fanfics, I like to bring out that latent potential.

Another reason I think he would be willing is because nobody calls him out in Chapter 5. At least not in a way that he’s receptive to. Deuce semi-calls him out after Epel runs out. However, Ace sides with Vil. It pushes Deuce to become reactive. Vil is a logical person. He tends to write off other's emotions, especially during Chapter 5. In that chapter, Vil is a master at rationalizing his behavior towards others. He's intimidating and confident. He uses logic to override, demean, and invalidate other's emotions. It's an awful and effective way to shut up an opposing party. Vil portrays himself as always being right. It seems like he's infallible. He can't be swayed or wrong, so people don't challenge him. He'll shred them with his logic. For others, it's not worth the effort. He displays a lot of toxic narcissistic behaviors in the chapter. It makes you wonder if you're crazy for feeling such emotions because he seems so self-assured. It's classic gaslighting. He sucks in that chapter. Vil becomes much better and more considerate in the later chapters, though. It's endearing watching him care about his Pomefiore group so much. He came a long way from being self-absorbed to valuing his friendships. It's part of why I love him. He's the only person to overblot that apologizes and compensates the victims. Despite his progress, he still has ways to improve. That's what I like to do in my fanfics.

Let's also talk about Vil's communication style, because that's the main aspect he should improve. In Chapter 5, Vil is overly harsh because he's stressed. He reverts to what he knows best. His behavior comes from the environment he was in as a child. The entertainment industry is brutal and unkind. Based on his communication style, it's clear he received that kind of treatment. I imagine there's also a level of "I had to go through all that criticism and pain. If I could put up with it, you can too." That's why he's so quick to give a harsh sentence. It's not healthy. However, that's what he experienced the most. Although his dad loves and cares about him (i'm like 90% sure. i haven't read that event, but he seems like the type lol), I don't think he shielded Vil a lot from the abusive aspects. It's clear by how callous Vil can be. I don't blame or fault Vil's dad for this, either. The entertainment industry's toxic behavior bleeds everywhere. There's only so much a parent can do to shield their kid. Besides, the important part is what happens after the trauma. Vil has a good and loving relationship with his dad. That's what's important.

So, in Chapter 5, Vil is fully absorbed in himself and his problems. He's not thinking about other people. He doesn't care about how they feel. The only way to snap him out of this state is to appeal to his desires. I won't tell you the different ways to do this because that's in my fanfics, but that's the basic way to get Vil to listen in stressful situations.

I also connect with his character a lot. A theater kid who has unrealistic and high expectations of themselves. Someone who's exhausted but continues pushing themself to the brink because they won't be enough otherwise. A person prone to burnout but doesn't have time for it. They have to keep changing and improving themselves to remain relevant and important. Someone with such a packed schedule they don't have time for friends outside of their activities. A person who's supposed to be strong, so whenever a problem happens, they try to solve it themself. It often goes awry, but sometimes it works. Either way, it's traumatic. I see a lot of myself in Vil. At least I did.

I became a better person after I left the environment that pushed me to act that way. I learned to slow down and realize I am enough by being myself. It's ok to go at my own pace when learning things. I don't have to be perfect or the best to be important and loved. I can have fun with friends outside of the activities I do. It's ok to have fun and relax around other people. I don't have to be perfect all the time. I discovered I like writing more than acting. However, I still love the performing arts. It's always been one of my outlets. It was why I was able to handle my childhood. Through all of this self-improvement, I became a better person. I was able to overcome some of my self-destructive and unhelpful behaviors. Obviously, I still struggle with some of these aspects, but I have the help I need. I have a good support system (like Vil gets after Chapter 5).

When I write for Vil, I write to help him become a better person. The biggest thing he lacks is interpersonal skills. That's my specialty. I'm fantastic at conflict management, voicing my feelings, and interpersonal communication. My skills help Vil reach his full potential. I want to help him. He's willing to learn to improve himself. That's why I feel so passionate about him. In real life, not many people take my suggestions regarding self-improvement. It's a great joy to write someone who's not only willing but will give it their all. He reminds me of myself in that way. When I first learned about some of my most invaluable skills, I threw myself into it too. I imagine Vil doing the same.

That's why I love writing for Vil.

[lemoncrushh]

This is why I haven't been writing...

This got long, but I had to say it.

The lack of feedback has always been something writers struggle with, at least in the ten years I've been on tumblr. It's nothing new. But it feels like instead of improving, it's gotten even worse.

Years ago, I had a long-time mutual bash me for complaining about it, calling me entitled. I was upset about it then, but here's the thing...I am entitled. And so is every other writer on here. We are all entitled to a little feedback and interaction. That's what we're here for.

I understand the drought we're in without any new Harry content. But I would think that would bring even more readers. Instead, it's crickets. There are a handful of popular writers on here who constantly receive asks and get interaction, and I am in no way saying they don't deserve it. They absolutely do. But the rest of us do too.

Writing fanfiction is not a job. We do this shit for free. But it's still as time-consuming as a real job. And to only get likes with very few random reblogs here and there is very disheartening. We are content creators. I understand tumblr may not be like other apps and websites, but it's still content. And likes here mean nothing. It's not like on tikok or instagram where the algorithm somehow keeps track of likes. On tumblr it doesn't mean shit. Your like is not going to make my post show up on someone else's dash. The only way to get content shared on this app is to actually SHARE IT. That's what the reblog button is for.

Imagine how a content creator on any other platform would feel if they got no feedback. If nobody was interacting with them, they would probably get their feelings hurt and eventually pack it in. That is now I feel now. Tbh, I can't believe I've been here this long. If this were a job or a relationship, and I was telling someone else about how long I've been doing this with little to no reciprocation...they would shake their heads at me and tell me I was a fucking fool and I needed to get out of this situation.

Am I getting on my high horse? Damn right I am. I have been biting my tongue for far too long. I have made so many excuses over the years...that fic was too personal and didn't appeal to the mass audience, that fic was an AU and not everyone likes AUs, that fic was too long and most tumblr readers don't read chaptered fics, that fic had such-and-such trope that readers don't like, there are too many writers here now, nobody reads that kind of fic anymore they only want smut, that fic was too smutty, you're just too old and nobody likes you anymore...yes I've told myself all of it. And maybe I'll never really know why you guys don't like my fics or why you won't interact with me. All I know is I'm sick of trying.

I had - and actually still HAVE - loads of ideas for Harry fics. I am honestly so sad that I may never write them. But I just can't bring myself to get motivated and excited to write something when nobody gives a damn.

This definitely turned into a rant, but it's how I feel. I used to really like it on here, but that joy is long gone. Things really changed after the pandemic, and the newer fans don't seem to use tumblr the way we used to - and the older fans like me have mostly left or only pop in sporadically when something happens.

I was never here for likes. I'm bored just scrolling through pictures. Fandom to me was all about interaction and about finding people who loved the thing you loved. Nobody here gives a shit anymore.

I love Harry Styles. And tbh I still love fanfiction. I'm not deleting my blog because I deleted my heart-attack-harry one I'd had for years back in 2021, and I regretted it. This one will remain. And I'll still pop in now and then to read. But my heart is just not in the writing anymore.

Court

[fatphobiabusters]

so i have a question, recently my doctor has recommended i lose weight for some health reasons, if i choose to go with that and lose weight willingly, does that make me fatphobic?

I can't tell you what to do with your body. Those decisions are yours. Life is complicated and nuanced, and so is oppression. If a trans person willingly loses weight because that's the only way the bigoted medical system will allow them to have top surgery, does that make them fatphobic?

Ultimately, what matters to me most is ending fat people's systemic oppression. What an individual person decides to do with their body, I don't really have the energy to care about. All of my mental energy is going towards more important matters that I do have a say in, like ending the wage gap that fat people endure and supporting fat positive legislation.

So whether or not the decision you make is fatphobic, you have bodily autonomy. Now if you're doing this because you believe weight equals health, well, "weight equals health" is fatphobic rhetoric. If you decide to lose weight because you want to feel superior to fat people, yeah, I'd say that's probably fatphobic. But my lack of mental energy to dictate what someone should do with their body, plus how nuanced and unique every situation is, makes me want to answer this ask with a shrug ¯\_( ￣o￣ )_/¯

You do what you want to do. If someone had a terminal illness and was told they'd magically survive by losing weight, I don't think I could blame them for trying when they're in such a desperate situation. I think the more important question to ask yourself is "Will this actually improve my health? Or will this harm me?"

Some other good questions to ask yourself are:

"How permanent would this weight loss actually be?"

"Is my doctor telling me to lose weight as their only means of treatment for me? Did they even examine me? What quality of healthcare am I receiving?"

"Is it specifically weight loss that helps this condition? Or is it certain behaviors that help and happen to sometimes include weight loss as a side effect?"

"Is weight gain what caused this condition? Is the answer to the previous question scientifically proven, or is it correlation? Is weight gain actually a symptom?"

"What scientific research is my doctor using to justify their recommendation that I focus on weight loss? How long was the study conducted for? Are there conflicts of interest? Does this study contain validity errors?"

I hope these questions will help you with the decision-making process. Good luck

-Mod Worthy

[taggedmemes]

SENTENCE MEME BALDUR'S GATE 3 / PART ONE

i think you're past the point of saving.

together we might survive.

get me out of this damn thing.

we have no time for stragglers.

do you intend to die for a stranger?

i thought that damn thing was going to be my coffin.

you keep dangerous company.

we can watch each other's backs along the way.

enough of this chatter.

who put you in charge?

i'll trust my own judgement.

a miracle, given everything you've been through.

it'll all be for nothing if you don't find help soon.

you're alive. i'm alive. how is this possible?

seems like we're the lucky ones, judging by all the corpses strewn about.

anything's an improvement on where we just came from.

'we'? you want to stay together?

we need each other.

i can't think of better company.

i wanted to thank you again.

you should be furious, shouldn't you?

kill it yourself — you look capable enough.

i was hoping for a kind soul.

let's try to keep that lovely neck of yours in one piece.

no need for this to get messy.

i need her alive.

and to think i was ready to decorate the ground with your innards.

please, allow me to introduce myself.

of course it'll turn me into a monster.

you should travel with me.

our odds are better together.

i was ready to go this alone.

maybe sticking with the herd isn't such a bad idea.

you seem like a useful person to know.

let's hope any future acquaintances don't hold a blade to your throat by way of introduction.

no harm in a little mystery.

conversation shouldn't be made, it should be grown.

maybe i'd like to get to know you better.

i'm usually better at this.

couldn't have phrased it more repellently myself.

you don't happen to be a cleric, by any chance? a doctor, surgeon? uncannily adroit with a knitting needle?

it's not exactly a common affliction.

a parasite shared is a parasite halved.

you're both twice as tall as me but have half the bloody backbone.

no point getting killed.

second worm gets the cheese and all.

nobody's getting any damn cheese.

she obviously sees your kindness as weakness.

don't let her take advantage.

a simply 'thank you' wouldn't go amiss.

your friends abandoned you.

i've got plenty of friends who aren't soft.

let's just hope she reserves those impulses for any common foes.

what a curious way to awaken.

what is the worth of a single mortal's life?

something the matter?

you must have thoughts about our little stowaways.

thinking about it won't help.

i suppose we'd go our separate ways — not a slight on your company, of course.

no reason for us to not stay together if we get on well.

if we do survive, we'll have separate lives to return to.

let's just say it's a very person, very private acquaintance.

you're not the kind of company i'd keep willingly.

perhaps i'll return the favor at some point.

she's delightful, in a very 'look at me twice and i'll dismember you' kind of way.

i understand much beyond your comprehension.

you'd do well to observe more and question less.

and they didn't cut you from navel to neck?

i am still getting used to people like you.

that large, fleshy nose of yours looks like a mistake.

best to keep quiet, lest any drivel leak from your lips.

i do not intend to stay long in this place.

may your actions express the same mettle.

anomalies lead to surprises.

what hasn't happened may yet come to pass.

not a collaboration i'd have anticipated.

can't you tell me something real about you?

i have a great respect for privacy, especially my own.

i have a very disciplined mind.

those tricks won't work on me.

please don't try that again unless i invite you to.

we meet again, as predicted.

care to explain why you're helping me?

what kind of services can a skeleton offer?

a monster forms inside us, and you care to be idle?

i knew your kind to be fragile.

don't you know an exhausted warrior is an ineffective one?

it's a thickheaded notion in a complex circumstance.

what were you two talking about?

if that was any of your business, we'd have called you over.

your business is mine.

we're entwined.

if we're to survive, we need to trust each other.

you seem reliable.

we're overdue some good fortune.

[mcromwell]

Four years ago, I installed TikTok and began making art videos to promote my art business. I steadily got better at making videos, had a few big hits, grew my follower count to 75k (my largest on any social platform ever, to this day) and even qualified for the app's creator program, which netted me a fair chunk of change for a few months. Right when I started considering it an integral part of my business, engagement started tanking. Despite my follower count and trying to keep up with trends and editing techniques designed to retain viewers, my videos went from getting about 10k views to less than a thousand--that's not even 10% of my follower-count. The app slowly stopped recommending my videos to anyone, followers or on the FYP. For months. And then after TikTok was voted to be banned in the US, it got even worse, and the CEO even stated in his video addressing the ban that they would "not be able to pay creators as much due to spending more money on legal fees to challenge the vote". At that time I was grimly reminded of what I already knew about social media sites: they aren't your friend and they don't care about you. They'll give you something "nice" (a chance at monetization and virality) with the hope that you'll keep making content for their content farm, and when your videos don't get views, the gambling mindset of "maybe next video will do well" or "the algorithm is just weird right now, maybe it will improve if I just keep going" will keep you addicted.

I finally hit a wall. I can't waste my time. I have very little time to achieve what I want to due to my health. So making videos that get 300 views and no comments is definitely a waste of my time. I used to say good things about the algorithm, how it shows you niche things instead of only just the popular stuff, but clearly that isn't the case. My videos posted elsewhere get tons more interactions and engagement. I am stepping back from TikTok for a while; I even uninstalled it. The endless scrolling is not good for me, either.

All that to say: art videos will be less frequent. The only places I'd be making them for is Instagram and YouTube, and I think if I'm going to pick one to focus on, it'll be Youtube. Subscribe to my channel here, where I am slowly uploading my entire TikTok catalogue of hundreds of art videos.

TikTok did great things for me when it worked. It was really exciting for me to hear folks at in-person events say stuff like, "Oh, I saw a video of this painting!" "Your process is so fun to watch!" I won't forget the support everyone gave me. Thank you.

I hope to use this extra time to focus on my practice more. I want to lean into sketchbook bundle downloads, Patreon, and just simply drawing more! Exploring more! We'll all benefit from that. So here's to newer, healthier directions.

💖 M

[redge]

Things I read on the internet that's a declaration of hate for Kana and my reaction (hoping I feel better after typing them all out)

"Kana makes everything about herself"

Did she want to be an idol? Did she want to be a center girl? (Girlie don't even know what a center girl is hahahaha). In Tokyo Blade, did she want the spotlight? That one time Kana wanted anything for herself is when she told Aqua her new dream. She did not even have a graduation concert. She did not have that movie that director told her about. In 137, she was praised for being a handy actor that can uplift others and improve herself and was described as "lacks opportunity" and many chapters after that, she still did not have an opportunity for herself. Kaburagi said they'd sell her as genius actor but that was not addressed anymore. So where is that she makes everything about herself when nothing was sbout her anyway? Not the idol career. Not as an actress. Not as a human loved back by the one she loves. She did not become anything she ever wanted so really how was this all about her? No I really want to know, how did Kana make everything about herself? Like I am really curious where this is coming from ah why do you hate Kana so much? 🥺

"___ best girl compared to Kana who only cries all the time"

Why can't we just go with the "____ best girl." period. Why do you need to put down a character to praise another character I am genuinely curious. I mean my favourite character has always been Kana but not ever did I hate on Akane or Ruby or anyone because why would I when all these characters have different stories of their own? And why do these girls need to compete with each other anyway?! Who's giving out the crown and sash? What's the point??? Your favourite is the best girl for you. Okay! Other's favourite is best girl for them. Okay, too! That's perfectly normal so why are you fighting each other I do not understand 😭

"despicable for slapping a corpse"

Kana slapping Aqua was something that belonged to them. No one knows that conversation except Aqua and Kana (and us, the readers). Miyako's reaction was very valid because she does not know anything about that conversation. Which is why when Kana told that to the dead Aqua, Miyako's reaction wasn't angry anymore. Miyako was in tears. I honestly would have killed Aqua twice if I were Kana really so a slap is nothing compared to the emotional wreck being in their lives brought her. Kana deserves to be slapped for hurting a corpse yes I agree but Aqua deserves that slap too for thinking that him dying is the great solution to whatever problem they're trying to solve.

"Kana is useless"

And what a heartbreak that is. Kana is perservering, patiently working on all the things she want to happen and absolutely nothing went her way. Kana is a representation of someone that tried and tried patiently but everything she did just made her feel useless. She grabs every opportunity, creates opportunity for herself but she is never enough. If killing one's self was a contest, I'd definitely compete Arima Kana as candidate. I would even forgive her if she just goes feral all of a sudden with all of the things that happened to her. She's useless, you say, but was that her fault?

"Kana does not deserve to be happy"

and why not? I say everyone in Oshi no Ko deserves to be happy. So why deny that to Kana?

But really. Why is she getting so much hate?

[utapri-translations-uuuu]

ASSMU Behind the Stage Ver.B [Masato, Ren, Ranmaru, Kira, Van] - Translation

Translator's notes can be found at the end and are marked with an asterisk.

Please do not repost/retranslate without permission.

Van: Delicious! This is the best after exercising! I can feel my strength steadily recovering.

Kira: It’s just water. Your statement was misleading.

Van: Nice tsukkomi*, Kira-chan.

Masato: It was such a productive lesson that I think I can understand how relieving the sensation of water seeping into the body can be.

Ren: It was an exciting time. It was the first time we danced together, but we were so in sync it didn’t seem like it. I was surprised by their unconventional dancing.

Ranmaru: You were improvising too, weren’t you? I wasn’t expecting it to be like this from the start. Well, it is a predictable lineup…

Kira: It's not often that we can get together with these members. I'd like to take this opportunity to get on the same page regarding the performance.

Masato: I see. As Sumeragi-san pointed out, it's important to discuss that.

Van: Okay, okay! Well, I have one suggestion to make.

Ranmaru: What is it?

Van: There is a part in the latter half of the song where we can move freely. It's really appealing to have everyone moving together like in the other parts, but I want us to show a bit more individual charm.

Ranmaru: Mind you, you were pretty much doing whatever you wanted just now.

Masato: More freely than what we did now…?

Ren: I’m guessing he meant we should make this section stand out more.

Kira: I understand how you feel, Van. But moving more than necessary is not good. It will cause trouble for Hijirikawa-san and the others.

Van: I’m not trying to cause any trouble. I just believe in the explosive power of this group, so I was wondering if we could make it a little more extravagant.

Ren: I feel like that could work. It's in the free parts that we can show our distinctive dance styles, and people will feel that we have something unique to offer.

Kira: Movements that brilliantly highlight each member’s individuality... I wonder if that could become possible if we practice a bit more and connect with each other.

Ranmaru: I also value intuition. Live performances are always raw, including the fans’ reactions. The music tells us what to do.

Van: (claps) So cool…! That was awesome!

Masato: Kurosaki-san, I have taken your words to heart!

Ranmaru: Now there are two people who overreact…

Ren: You got that right.

Masato: (clears throat) There will be 18 people on stage during the actual performance. As Sumeragi-san pointed out, we don't know how much we’ll actually be able to move around. That being said, we want everyone to enjoy themselves with us as much as they like.

Van: Masa-chan agrees with my idea, and you should also reveal more of the passionate feelings you keep inside your heart, Kira-chan.

Kira: That's right. Let's aim for further improvement together.

Ren: It seems we share the same level of enthusiasm about this. I’m glad we were able to get everyone on the same page.

Kira: Me too. In addition, I have something I want to express myself. While respecting harmony… I want to capture everyone's hearts with these hands of mine.

Ranmaru: I thought he was a cool guy, but it seems that’s not all there is to him.

Van: Yep, that's Kira-chan for you.

Kira: However, I'll be keeping a close eye on Van's movements during the lessons.

Van: Am I being monitored?!

Masato: I'm enjoying the lively exchange between Sumeragi-san and Kiryuin-san. Normally, I would have become tense and stiff.

Ren: As long as we continue sharing the same mindset like this, we'll be fine no matter what happens.

Ranmaru: It’s not like we can decide in detail what to do now. Let’s just go for it.

Van: I guess we'll have to wait until the curtain rises to see what happens.

Kira: Yes. I can't wait for the day we can all get on stage together.

Translator's notes:

Boke and Tsukkomi Routine- Called manzai in Japanese, this is the local variation on the ever-popular Straight Man and Wise Guy duo, but with the interactions of the duo making a significant part of the routine. The tsukkomi is the Straight Man of the pair, roughly, while the boke is more or less the Wise Guy — but it's not an exact match. The act usually involves the duo having a conversation on some subject, with the tsukkomi trying to correct the boke's misconceptions. [tvtropes.org]