#I'd be so good at it too. You really want a boy adventurer when you could have a 35-year-old man who has a bit of sense and life experience?

[homoqueerjewhobbit]

Actually, the best part of being a "chosen one" is you don't have to send in a resume and write a coverletter. A magical scroll or mysterious stranger or flock of ravens just show up and give it to you.

[specialagentartemis]

godddddd i have disliked becky chambers' work since long way to a small angry planet and I agree that that fish scene is SO much of what is wrong with contemporary SFF especially queer SFF. refreshing take, great review, thank you. would love to hear what authors or works you think of as the antidote to that sensibility.

The thing is, I enjoyed The Long Way to a Small Angry Planet when I first read it - it was a fun, light adventure, clearly a debut novel but I was excited to see where Chambers would go from there. And I actually really do think the sequel, A Closed and Common Orbit, was good! It did interesting things with AI personhood and identity.

... and then Chambers just kinda. Did not get better. She settled into a groove and has a set number of ideas that I feel like she hasn't broken out of, creatively. And they I M O kind of rest on an assumption that "human nature" = "how people act in suburban California."

As an antidote to that sensibility, I'd say... books where people have a real interrelationship with the land they inhabit, a sense of being present, and reciprocal obligations to that land; books that recognize that some things can never be taken back once done; books with well-drawn characters, where people have strong opinions deeply informed by their circumstances, that can't always be easily reconciled with others, and won't be brushed aside; books where these character choices matter, they impact each other, they cannot be easily gotten over, because people have obligations to each other and not-acting is a choice too.

And it's only fair that after all day of being a Hater I should rec some books I really did like.

Piranesi by Susanna Clarke - A man lives alone in an infinite House, over an equally infinite ocean. Captures the feeling that I think Monk & Robot was aiming for. Breathtaking beauty, wonder at the world, philosophy of truth, all that good stuff, and actually sticks the landing. The main character's love, attention, and care to his fantasy environment shows through in every page. (Fantasy, short novel)

Imperial Radch by Ann Leckie - An AI, the one fragment remaining of a destroyed imperial spaceship, is on a quest for revenge. Leckie gets cultural differences and multiculturalism, and conversely, what the imposition of a homogeneous culture in the name of unity means. (Space sci-fi, novel trilogy)

Machineries of Empire by Yoon Ha Lee - An army captain's insubordination is punished by giving her a near-impossible mission: to take down a rebelling, heretical sect holing up in a space fortress and defying imperial power. She gets a long dead brain-ghost of a notorious criminal downloaded into her head to help. Very, very good at making you feel like every doomed soldier was a person with a past, with a family, with feelings, with hopes and dreams and frustrations and favorites and preferences and reasons to live, right before they brutally die in a space war. Also very much about the imposition of homogeneity of culture as a force of imperialism. (Space sci-fi, novel trilogy)

The Fortunate Fall by Cameron Reed - Maya Andreyevna is a VR journalist in high-tech dystopian future Russia, and she decides to investigate the truth that the government doesn't want her to. She might die trying. It's fine. Also has digital brain-sharing, this time in a gay way. It's bleak. It's sad. It feels real. Not making a choice is a choice. Backing out is a choice. And choices have consequences. Choices reverberate through history. About responsibility. (Cyberpunk, novel)

The Vanished Birds by Simon Jimenez - Nia Imani is a spaceship captain, a woman out of time, a woman running from her past, and accidentally adopts a boy who has a strange power that could change the galaxy. Spaceship crew-as-found-family in the most heartbreaking of ways. Also about choices, how the choices you make and refuse to make shape you and shape the world around you. How the world is always changing around you, how the world does not stay still when you're gone, and when you come back you're the same but the world has moved on around you. About how relationships aren't always forever, and that doesn't mean they weren't important. About responsibility to others. It's a slow, sad book and does not let anyone rest on their laurels, ever. There is no end of history here. Everything is always changing, on large scales and small, and leaving you behind. (Space sci-fi, novel)

Dungeon Meshi / Delicious in Dungeon by Ryoko Kui - A D&D style fantasy dungeon crawl that stops to think deeply about why there are so many dungeons full of monsters and treasure just hanging around. Here because it's an example of an author thinking through her worldbuilding a lot, and it mattering. Also because of the characters' respect for the animals they are are killing and eating, their lives and their place in the ecosystem, and the ways that humans both fuck up ecosystems with extraction and tourism, but also the ways that you can have reciprocal relationships of responsibility and care with the ecosystem you live in, even if it's considered a dangerous one. (Fantasy, manga series)

Stories of Your Life and Others by Ted Chiang and How Long 'Til Black Future Month by N. K. Jemisin and Everyone on the Moon is Essential Personnel by Julian K. Jarboe - Short story anthologies that were SO good and SO weird and rewired the way I think. If you want the kind of stuff that is like, the opposite of easy-to-digest feel-good pap, these short stories will get into your brain and make you consider stuff and look at the world from new angles. Most of them aren't particularly upbeat, but there's a lot of variety in the moods.

"Homecoming is Just Another Word for the Sublimation of the Self," "Calf Cleaving in the Benthic Black," and "Termination Stories for the Cyberpunk Dystopia Protagonist" by Isabel J. Kim - Short stories, sci-fi mostly, that twist around in my head and make me think. Kim is very good at that. Also about choices and not-making-choices, about going and staying, about taking the easy route or the hard one, about controlling the narrative.

The Murderbot Diaries by Martha Wells - Security robot with guns in its arms hacks itself free from its oppressive company, mostly wants to half-ass its job but gets sucked into drama, intrigue, and caring against its better judgement. This is on here because 1) I love it 2) I feel like it does for me what cozy sff so frequently fails to do - it makes me feel seen and comforted. It's hopeful and compassionate and about personal growth and finding community and finding one's place in the world, without brushing aside all problems or acting like "everybody effortlessly just gets along" is a meaningful proposal. also 3) because it is one of the few times I have yet seen characters from a hippie, pacifistic, eco-friendly, welcoming, utopian society actually act like people. The humans from Preservation are friendly, helpful, and motivated by truth and justice and compassion, because they come from a friendly, just, compassionate society, and they still actually act like real human beings with different personalities and conflicting opinions and poor reactions to stress and anger and frustration and fear and the whole range of human emotions rather than bland niceness. Also 4) I love it (space sci-fi, novella series mostly)

[ladyloveandjustice]

Yuri Manga for New (AND Not-So-New) Readers

I was talking on discord about some good yuri for beginners, and figured I'd repost here.

I get way more detailed some of these recommendations in this post, and there's great recs from another person too! Check it out!

I'm doing this accounting to various tones and tastes, so what works as a beginner yuri for one person might not for another, just read the info to figure out what your jam is.

I'll put a star by the ones about adults (which is the majority of them) since I've found that's always something people want.

Goodbye my Rose Garden (Victorian yuri w/ beautiful art, just beautiful all around)*

How Do We Relationship? (messy adult relationships and lots of actually realistic intimacy)*

She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat- (A woman loves to cook but doesn’t have a huge appetite, only to find the woman next door to her does! She cooks for her and they really start to bond over food and the trials of being working adults. Yes, this is the one where the woman googles lesbian. It's really good)*

Bloom into You- a common go-to yuri for beginners for a reason, about a girl who believes she can't fall in love meeting a girl who wants to date her specifically BECAUSE she can't fall in love. Find out more about it and hear my thoughts here. It has a gorgeous anime that doesn't cover the complete story.

Doughnuts Under the Crescent Moon (sweet office lady romance, ace rep) *

Catch These Hands! (These two women were delinquents and rivals in high school, they meet up again, one reveals she was always into the other, she challenges her to a fight on the condition that if the other woman loses she'll date her. Lots of slapsticky fun and great for any lover of girl delinquents)*

Run away with me, Girl (there's some abuse shown in this one, but it's a story about healing, the premise is these girls dated in high school, but one of the pressured herself "normal" and marry a man, that man turns out to be abusive, so when the former lovers reunite, they decide to run away together. It's got beautiful art and a well done story)*

The Moon on a Rainy Night (absolutely spectacular, explores the relationship between a hard of hearing girl and her closeted classmate, the characters are complex and the writing is so good!)

Kase-san And...- Starting with Kase-san and the Morning Glories, this is a very fluffy and sweet high school romance. It also has a short movie. (as the manga goes on they become college students, too)

The Two of Them Are Pretty Much Like This (slice of life about a voice actress and anime screenwriter who live together as a couple. Unfortunately the ending is a bit abrupt (and likely premature) but I love their relationship)*

My fave Otherside Picnic is great for scifi and (mild) horror lovers. It's Scifi creepypasta adventure yuri. It's a slow burn but does truly spectacularly deliver on the gay. Has an anime, it's not great, you should start with the novels. Wrote an article here. https://www.animefeminist.com/how-otherside-picnic-masterfully-uses-horror-to-explore-abuse-and-show-healing-queer-love/ *(v young adults, college students)

The Guy She was Interested in Wasn't a Guy at All: (A web manga about a girl who works at a record shop. Her classmate , Aya, wanders in but doesn't recognize her because she has her hair hidden with a hat and is wearing a face mask, and Aya assumes she's a guy. They bond over music and slowly start to get closer...and Aya's finds her heart is fluttering not only over this mysterious boy, but her female classmate that seems a lot like him...) It's going to get a physical release soon.

This Monster Wants to Eat Me: (A depressed girl who's been searching for death gets approached by a mermaid who wants to eat her...but the thing is, our monster mermaid is a gourmet who wants her to be as delicious as possible, which means she's going to make her happy first (as apparently that enhances her flavor), and fight off all the other monsters who want to kill her. This is TOP TIER yuri horror and a must read for any lover of monster girls, especially monster girls drenched in the blood of their enemies, it's so good)

I Married my Best Friend to Shut My Parents Up (girl and her friend get married simply so her parents will stop bugging her about being single. You can probably guess where it goes from there) *

I Married my Female Friend (similar premise, except no parents involved, it's a platonic marriage they both agreed to with the promise they'll divorce if one of them falls in love. But one woman has decidedly not platonic feeling for the other that she's hiding from her, so It will likely turn romantic, it hasn't all come out here yet so I haven't finished it)*

Whisper Me a Love Song: (A girl named Himari sees her upperclassman, Yori, perform with her band and falls in love with her music. She confesses her love of Yori's music, and Yori mistakes it as Himari confessing to being in love with her. Yori falls head over heels at first sight. (if you don't like miscommunication, dw this is cleared up fairly quickly and new drama ensues) Has an anime covering early material)

Monthly in the Garden with my Landlord* (it didn't really hit with me but I might give it a shot again, it's solid despite the terrible title, a woman moves into a house and finds she'll be cohabitating with an idol) (Some more titles I haven't fully read that could appeal: Still Sick*, Cheerful Amnesia*)

Hana and Hina After School: (a cute three volume about a gyaru and shy girl working together at a shop after school and catching feelings)

After Hours: (A cool punk girl meets a girl who's been abandoned by her friend at the club, and she introduces her to the world of DJ'ing...and romance!)*

My Cute Little Kitten (two roommates adopt a cat...and maybe fall in love?)*

I think all of those work as solid intro- though it does depend on what flavor you're looking for!

This article also covers some of these recs and some manga I didn't mention due to not having completely read it. so check it out: The Beginners Guide to Yuri Manga.

Here's some titles to try when you're a little more familiar with yuri (or you can try them now! I'm not your boss!)

SHWD (action yuri that's taking forever to come out over here physically, featuring extremely muscular women fighting monsters. I think it was forced to end prematurely too)*

Kiss and White Lily for my Dearest Girl: (I'm only three volumes in, but it's really enjoyable. The main storyline is about two academic rivals, where one is determined to rank first in class, and the other is an effortless genius who becomes intrigued at the possibility of someone beating her. Honestly they have the kind of messy combative sexual tension I wish we'd see more often in yuri because it's so good. The story follows other couples too. However, big warning for some nonconsensual kisses in early volumes, and a storyline in volume 7 that has implied incest and an age gap, though the older sister doesn't go through with it onscreen).

Sweet Blue Flowers/Aoi Hana- (This one is a little bit dated, and boy is the ending weirdly paced, but a lot still holds up imo. A painful and sweet coming of age tale, it also has an anime that's good but ends too soon.

One teenage characters backstory involves incestuous (older cousin) the perpetrator of which pulls the "oh no did I turn you gay? thing" but it's definitely framed as a bad thing. )

The Summer You Were There: (For tragic and doomed yuri lovers. A deeply depressed girl starts her journey to healing thanks to a girl who courts her and enjoys her writing. Unfortunately, said girl is terminally ill. The manga is a heart wrenching meditation on grief, redemption, and how being sick doesn't mean you can't still be loved).

Yuri is My Job- a story about messy lesbians in a yuri-themed cafe, and how their real relationships differ from the personas they put on. Read more about it here. Big warning for sexual assault of a minor (by an adult villain) in volume 12. Has an anime covering early material.

[undiscovered-horizon]

[Zoro is jealous of how impressed you are with another man's strength. A few insults and broken breezeblocks later, he makes sure he's the only man you have eyes on.]

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Roronoa Zoro is a man too busy to boast. He perceives his skills and attributes as a means to an end and not a goal in itself; achieving unmatched swordsmanship is but a method of becoming the world's greatest swordsman.

It's completely useless to waste one's potential only to earn fame and admiration. If one sees their abilities as a goal, they tend to abandon their growth once the goal is achieved, never discovering what they can really do. Therefore, boasting is a manmade border between the current state of things and the wonderful possibilities.

Or so he tells himself.

The crowd cheers again as the blue-haired boy breaks another stack of planks. Each time he adds one more obstacle, the mob of onlookers is sure that this time, he's bound to fail. They've been wrong so far.

Zoro and you have been watching the show from affair but only because you refused to walk away. Sure, on your adventures you have seen people or unimaginable skills and attributes. Nevertheless, the man on the makeshift stage is just that - a man. No Devil Fruit, no canons-for-arms or anything of this sort. Just a person with determination and years of practice.

"Damn, that's some strength," you say in awe. "It's amazing."

Zoro only scoffs, scowling while he stands with his arms crossed. "Come on, this is nothing."

"Oh, right, breaking a stack of five wooden planks with your bare fist is just a regular Tuesday, eh?"

"Definitely not for a twig like him," he answers while still glaring at the boastful plank-breaker. "A gust of wind could break his bones."

Something about his huffing and puffing doesn't sit right with you. After all, why does he care in the first place? Zoro is not the kind of person to be interested in things that are not directly connected to him. It's almost as if...

Is he jealous of the attention?

"You know what, Zoro?" When you turn to look at him, he notices the challenging glint in your eyes. You're up to no good, aren't you? "I'd love to see you try and break even one plank."

He scoffs again but this time he looks almost offended at the implication. "I wouldn't even get out of bed for one."

"That's not a good measure." You shake your head decisively. "It's already hard to make you get up." Then, an idea sparks in your thoughts - something he's sure not to reject. "Let's do it like this. If you can one-up that guy, I'll do whatever you want."

Zoro's brown eyes stare into yours with a new intensity. He seems to be trying to guess how serious you are about your promise. "Anything goes?" he asks suspiciously.

"Nothing that will tarnish my dignity." As a warning, you point your finger at him. "Or dirty my shirt."

Then, to your utmost satisfaction, he gives you a smirk beaming with confidence.

"You're going to regret this."

"I hope so," you answer.

He clenches his jaw at your frivolous tone, his mind racing in a thousand different directions at once. What do you mean you "hope to regret" your wager? What exactly do you think he'll ask of you?

No matter the answers to his questions, Zoro has found a new source of motivation inside him. He can ask anything. As nice as that sounds, and he's sure to let his imagination run amok, the more satisfying prize will be the look of awe you're bound to give him. If you're impressed with this boastful twig of a man, how dazzled will you be with Zoro when he beats him? Maybe you'll finally stop looking at other men like they're actually worth even a second of your time or a speck of your attention.

"Hey, wood boy!" Zoro exclaims at the top of his lungs while making his way through the excited crowd towards the makeshift stage. "Let's see who's stronger."

"A brave challenger appears!" The blue-haired man announces. Whispers erupt among the onlookers. "Or maybe he's stupid?" he directs his question at his fans. Then, when Zoro enters the stage, the man looks at him with a feeling of superiority smeared across his face. "I'll have you know, I'm the local champion."

Up close, the blue-haired man looks even less impressive than from the ground. He's rather scrawny compared to men of similar strength and he could definitely use a long bath. Zoro is almost offended that you'd look at this poser of a clown instead of him.

"Only local?" Zoro asks. He erupts in laughter, making his opponent's expression visibly falter. "Not much of a title. I've seen rocks bigger than this island."

The whispers turn into loud conversations as half of the crowd demands Zoro to take back his words and the other half begs for a showdown to see who's the true master between them.

"Ambitious!" the blue-haired man exclaims with fake casualness, clearly trying to hide his own uneasiness. "That's what I like to see. But I must warn you that breaking wood with the sheer power of your bare fist is neither easy nor simple. Are you sure you can manage?"

Zoro laughs again. His posture only grows with confidence while the other man seems to be becoming smaller with each of Zoro's insults. "Wood is for children."

The blue-haired man swallows nervously. Sweat trickles down his neck. "Alright then." He clasps his hands together, rubbing them to ease the arousing tension. "What do you propose?"

"Breezeblocks."

The crowd audibly gasps and you're not any different. To break something that can render someone unconscious, if not dead, without having to use much strength? Even for someone like Zoro, the suggestion seems more than audacious. True, you wanted to see him prove his bold talk but not break his hands.

But before the blue-haired man can protest or diverge the discussion, a group of eager men bring a load of breezeblocks on stage. Their eyes shine with impatience and desire to see uncommon strength as they take away the wooden boards and set up the first breezeblock for each of them to break. The hollow bricks are placed atop regular, clay bricks that the blue-haired man has used to lay the planks on.

With a light gesture of his hand, Zoro allows the apparent master to begin. The man stretches his arms and cracks his joints. Despite being visibly experienced in this art, there is a noticeable nervousness in his movements, too. As though he's not as confident as he was five minutes ago.

Measuring one or two times beforehand, the local champion slams his fists on the breezeblock. A muffled thud resounds and the crowd falls silent. Then, a loud grunt fills the tense air but not a speck of cement is lifted. The breeze block did not break but considering the agony on the man's face and the deep red of his hand, something surely did break.

Zoro laughs for the third time. Strangely enough, he seems almost suspiciously laid-back. He reaches for the blue-haired man's unbroken breezeblock and places it atop his. If the crowd was silent before, it's deathly quiet now. They don't even dare breathe, awaiting the resolution of this unforeseen wager.

His eyes meet yours and never stray as he punches the stack of breezeblock. They break, fall and crumble on the stagefloor. Zoro doesn't look phased in any way, nor does his hand look to be injured. Judging by his casual attitude, he can easily break a lot more than just two breezeblocks. Maybe one day he'll find out but not at the moment - that's not the point of his little show of strength.

Some people try to accost him or talk to him as he makes his way back to you but Zoro's usual glares and silence quickly mitigate their enthusiasm and soon the mob of onlookers just cheers among themselves.

"Alright, I'm impressed," you admit with a nod. "In capital letters."

"So, anything I want, huh?" He can't help the smile curving his lips. It's a big word that you've used - a little too big for Zoro's imagination because it too happily strayed in directions that might break his heart permanently if you reject him.

"I suppose you do deserve compensation for holding yet another title of a champion. The dreadful weight of success," you say in a dramatic tone. "Now, what is this 'anything' you've decided on?"

Truthfully, he hasn't decided yet. If this "more than friends, less than lovers" situation he has with you was a game of chess, he's just made his opening move. You played back and put him in a place where there are simply too many options to reconsider. So what choice does he have to make to have you in a checkmate?

[woso-dreamzzz]

Puppy

Hardersson x Daughter!Reader

Part of The Big Adventures Universe

Summary: You get a four-legged friend

After your contract with Arsenal runs out, you have a lot of options.

You could have had your pick of the WSL - United wanted you, City wanted you, Chelsea had made an expensive offer that you were more than happy to turn down. The NWSL had expressed an interest as well but America wasn't something you wanted.

It was only when you were wrapping up your last training session at Arsenal before the World Cup did you get a call from your agent.

"Barcelona," He says," They're interested. They're rivalling Chelsea in the amount of money they're willing to pay you."

You couldn't care less about the money. "Set up the meeting."

The meeting was merely a formality and soon, you were packing up your things from London, saying goodbye to Arsenal and flying to Barcelona.

Momma and Morsa come with you, helping you move in.

Morsa laments about the flight times. "It's a lot further than London," She tells you like you don't already know," Almost five hours from home."

You roll your eyes as you unpack another soft blanket. "Morsa, I'll be fine. If anything happens, I'll call Tia Tana or Alexia. I'm not completely helpless."

"Your Morsa is just having a hard time adjusting," Momma assures you," She doesn't like the fact that you're leaving properly."

You roll your eyes again. "I already left properly."

Momma cradles your face. "Try telling her that. You're always going to be her little girl."

You huff but don't argue any longer, preoccupied with placing little knick-knacks on your shelves. At the bottom of one of the boxes is your childhood pet, Rocky the rock. You look at him fondly before giving him pride of place next to your medals.

"You still have that?" Morsa laughs as she joins you.

You roll your arms. "Hey! The bond between a girl and her pet rock is indescribable. Rocky is an important part of who I am."

"You and that rock-"

"His name's Rocky!"

"-Are so cute. You used to take that everywhere with you."

You roll your eyes. "You wouldn't let me get a puppy or a kitten."

"I think a puppy or a kitten would have been too much for the three of us," Momma says," We already had our hands full with you."

You scoff. "I was an angel."

"Hmm," Morsa says, pressing a kiss to your temple," Most of the time."

She and Momma exchange a look briefly and you're instantly suspicious when you catch Momma's phone getting a notification that you instantly see her clear from her screen.

"What are you two up to?"

Both of them smile even more suspiciously as there's a knock on the door.

"This isn't finished."

"I think it is," Momma murmurs behind you as you swing open the door.

"Hola!"

"Hola, Tia Tana," You say before suddenly falling silent.

There's a wriggling puppy in her arms and you coo softly, hand out for it to lick.

It's a Spitz of some kind. You're not sure which but it's definitely a Spitz. Those are your favourite kind of dogs. It's got a kind of reddish fur that looks really pretty and he's full of little wiggly energy that's absolutely adorable.

"He's so pretty, Tia Tana," You say as she lets him loose," I didn't know you got a dog."

"I didn't."

You sit on the floor with the puppy. "He's so cute. It is a he, right?"

Tia Tana nods. "It's a boy."

"You're so cute," You say to him, letting him jump up on your lap," Yes, you are. A very handsome boy. Like a little prince."

"A prince for our princesse," Morsa says," How do you like him?"

You don't quite understand what she means so you just coo over your new friend. You wished he was Tia Tana's so you could see him more often.

"Are you puppy sitting?" You ask her," He's so sweet."

Tia Tana laughs. "In a way," She says," I'm handing him off to his owner today. He's had all of his shots. He's been neutered and everything."

"He's so cute. I'd love to have a word with your owner. You're too handsome to let go."

"That's good," Momma says," Because he's staying with you."

You look up in shock, brows furrowed. "What?"

"We'd feel better if you had some company," Morsa explains," So we got into contact with Aitana before you moved to see if she could find a puppy for you."

"He's a Finnish Spitz," Tia Tana says with a smile," His Mami was very sociable and his Papa goes on runs with his owner. I'm sure he could keep up with you."

You look between the three of them. "Really?"

"Yes," Momma says with the smallest of smiles," He's yours, princesse. Why don't you give him a name?"

"Prins," You say instantly and your mothers start laughing.

"What's funny?" Tia Tana asks.

"His name means prince," Morsa laughs," Truly, a little prince for our princesse."

Prins barks, his little tail wagging. You stroke your fingers through his fur.

"We need to go back out," You say suddenly," We have to get him food! And a bed! And toys!"

"Already done," Tia Tana says," It's all being delivered soon."

You look down at Prins. He looks up at you, curly little tail wagging happily as he nibbles at your shirt sleeve with his little baby teeth.

"This is the best gift ever!"

[intooned]

MY FAVORITE SHIPS!

This was a LONG time coming! And I want to thank @expensiveeggplant & @coffinbrotherr for putting up with my procrastination while boiling down the who and why of this list!

Adventure Time: Finnceline

My first real ship, the first fanfiction I ever read, and I spent hours watching Finnceline AMV's way back when YouTube didn't have commercials. Finn and Marcy's personalities and experiences play so well off of each other that I'm thoroughly convinced the writers were terrified of their potential. They would be an amazing butt-kicking couple, but that wouldn't leave Finn with as many flaws to develop as a young man coming of age. And it's such a shame because you know they'd always have each other's backs and best interests at heart. And with a fully grown adult Finn I'd bet money they'd have at least turned out as cuddle buddies... who occasionally engage in some very aggressive cuddling courtesy of my good friend Lofty! (Click at your own risk!)

Flame Princess and Huntress Wizard were great and had their cool moments with Finn, but something tells me Marceline would give up her immortal life in a heartbeat to protect Finn. Having seen each other's pasts and memories and going out of their way to help each other with deep-rooted life issues, Finnceline just has more depth to work with than the other ships.

Gravity Falls: Dipper x Pacifica x Mabel

The first episode I ever saw was the one where Pacifica and Mabel play mini-golf. I wasn't fully paying attention and assumed Dipper and Mabel were just best friends dealing with a bully. The car ride home together was cute and solidified my first ever threeway ship. THEN I found out they were siblings...

Then I found out fanfiction didn't care! In fact, here's a [link] to the BEST fanfic I've ever read for this ship, enjoy!

Star Vs. The Forces of Evil: MonStarco

The MonStar AU is where things are relatively the same except for one thing: Star is half or part monster. It makes good sense that Star, being an interdimensional magical princess from an interdimensional magical kingdom would be a little more... interdimensional. It gives some fresh blood to Starco fics, which can be a bit too vanilla most of the time, especially when you get to parts where Star's otherworldly anatomy and quirks cause all sorts of problems and shenanigans!

Sort of like her muberty phase but she's stuck looking that way, and if you remember the show said there's a chance every Mewman actually COULD end up stuck in butterfly form! Super interesting! It reminds me a lot of the episode of Teen Titans(original) where Starfire was going through alien puberty, and how fun of an episode it was to watch. The fact that there's tons of Monster Star AU and Mewberty art out there helps a ton as well!

Steven Universe: Lapiven & Stevinel

Lapiven: These two are the perfect example of "cute sunshine boy X hot goth gf". Plain and simple, Steven's optimism is exactly what Lapis needed to begin working through what happened to her. And no one appreciates a cinnamon roll the way a scarred person does. Also, tell me they don't look like a couple everytime they're onscreen together? I mean really watch them! Blushing, giggling, constant eye contact, twinkling eyes, immediately responsive to each others change in mood, plenty physical contact, elation whenever Steven calls or visits.

You can call it platonic for the Shtewball, but Lapis adores Steven in every sense of the word! She warned him and negotiated his safety when she realized Homeworld would get involved. She held Jasper prisoner in her own head just to protect him. She faced her trauma and returned to confront the Diamonds, ready to put hands and feet on an enemy she knew she couldn't beat. And entirely because, to her, Steven's safety was more important than her own life! Weigh out those exact same scenarios, their exact same interactions with each other with just about any other two characters in animation and tell me it doesn't make sense? I swear most of their episodes together are just them going on dates!

Stevinel: Now this is special to me. On the opposite side of the scale Steven and Spinel share the same feelings of abandonment and inadequacy from and by Pink. Of course they aren't the only ones, but Spinel didn't raise Steven as a parent or sibling. There was no one better suited to empathize with Steven's issues, and his downward spiral into becoming a monster who hurts people.

What Spinel went through in the movie is too on the nose for what Steven goes through in Future, and I'm flabbergasted that the writers chose to have her be of little to no help when Steven needed to be shown that he didn't have to hold himself together on his own!

But back on topic. The other Gems love Steven, but Spinel is wired to love him just like Pearl, on top of whatever blooms between them naturally. So when those wires were damaged from Pink's abandonment, it's quite poetic that Steven is the one to mend them. From there It's as easy-peasy pink-heart-squeasy to assume the seeds of affection could sprout from such fertile ground. It also helps that Rebecca Sugar blatantly suggests Steven and Spinel's relationship isn't concretely platonic, at least for Spinel. Even going so far as to give us fan service!

Possibility is all that is needed for shippers and fanfictioneers to run wild with wishful thinking. I also might have a revenge boner for heartbroken characters who find happiness despite the tomfuckery done to them. "Pink abandoned me in her garden? Guess I'll have Steven frolicking in mine.

RWBY: Nora's Arc

Although I may grow enamored with other RWBY ships, I always come back to this one. It's just tons of fun! Responsible & Awkward meets Extroverted Hurricane, legally banned from IHOP and the Sloth exhibit at the zoo! Premium family man real estate meets poster girl for found family and there's no one better than Jaune-1-of-8-kids-Arc to get the job done!

I'm also of the mind that Nora's bombastic personality is meant to draw people to her, because she's absolutely terrified of being alone and left behind again. And with family gatherings at the Arc residence, isolation is all but nonexistent.

Wakfu: Yumalia

Dreams do come true! LET'S GOOO! Not much to say; they were set to be together from first sight and it was a rollercoaster from there. A lot like Aang and Katara, Yugo got his feisty princess and Amalia got her dashing hero. It's classic, it's timeless, and you love to see it done well!

The Dragon Prince: Rayllum

Obvious cuteness is obviously cute. It's nearly unheard of for the strange but exotic alien girl to be the one intrigued and smitten with the human boy. An action adventure fantasy but the non-human girl is the awkward one hiding her feelings? Sign me up! It's a breath of fresh air!

Sonic The Hedgehog: SilverWolf

The newest addition! Some fresh meat to sink my teeth into as I rekindle my love for the Sonic franchise! I haven't followed anything Sonic since the fever dream that was Sonic 06, but happened to see a few panels of Silver talking to what appeared to be a new character, Whisper the Wolf! Shy, soft spoken, but not from timidity, rather a desire to not scare others away because of her frightening features.

Pairing her with the very approachable and reassuring Silver makes for good chemistry in my opinion. I also adore Whisper's color scheme and the combination of silver, gold, and neon lights they have in a lot of comic panels together. They'd make a cute pair that's easy to reduce to a blushing mess with any little bit of teasing, and I'm here for it!

AND THERE YOU HAVE IT!

I have loads more ships but these are the ones that I felt were most worth sharing.

[roosterforme]

The Adventures of Dr. Tits | Bradley Bradshaw x Reader

Summary: Jake gives you the world's most obnoxious nickname. Bradley has an identity crisis. And you're the one making sure everybody gets home safely on New Year's Eve.

Warnings: Fluff, swearing, suggestive language, drinking, beer pong

Length: 2800 words

Pairing: Beer Boy and Sugar! Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader (former fuckboy college student Bradley)

This is a one-shot to accompany my fics Old Habits Die Hard and Right Girl, Wrong Time! Banner by @mak-32 Check out my masterlist for the reading order

Bradley walked into the bedroom and froze as you were putting on your favorite pair of earrings. "What's wrong?" you asked, shaking your head at him. "Why are you staring at me like that?"

"You look fucking hot."

"Oh," you said with a smirk.

"This is a new dress," he rasped, running his fingers along the black fabric at your shoulder. "I really like it."

You kissed his cheek and whispered. "I knew you would, Beer Boy. It has a very low neckline."

He scoffed, "That's not the only reason I like it." But his eyes hadn't strayed from your chest for nearly thirty seconds. When his gaze finally met yours, he added, "My wife looks beautiful in everything."

"We're not married yet," you reminded him as his hand skimmed down your arm to your left hand and your engagement ring. 

"Only because you didn't want to get married the day after I proposed."

"We were standing in a Denny's parking lot!"

He just shrugged and laced his fingers with yours. "Sounds perfect to me. As long as it's us."

"A Denny's parking lot," you emphasized, and you could tell he was trying not to smile at your look of indignation.

"Nothing's too good for my girl," he replied, barely concealing his laughter. 

"Incredible," you muttered as you tugged him closer for another kiss. "You can take the Beer Boy out of the fraternity..."

He followed along, fingers linked with yours, as you led him into the dining room so you could finish setting up. "Wait, wait, it's like mistletoe. We have to kiss when we stand here," he said, leaning down to kiss you hard and proper in front of the doors that said SUGAR WILL YOU MARRY ME?

"Like mistletoe? I can't believe how sweet you are," you whispered as his lips trailed down to your neck.

"Let's call everyone and cancel." His tone was coaxing and his lips felt amazing.

"No," you moaned softly. "It's your Top Gun holiday party. And it's New Year's Eve."

When his mustache grazed the top of your chest as he said, "I'd rather tell everyone else to beat it so I can fuck my fiancée," you almost caved. But you promised everyone months ago, when you first moved to San Diego, that you and Bradley would host the annual party. There was a running joke that they got so wild one year, they almost got kicked out of a restaurant. But there was no way that was true. 

"We have to host. I promised."

"This better be low key. Seriously, I just want a nice, quiet night in," he grumbled.

You laughed while he acted like he was being tortured as he helped you carry the pretty punch bowl and crystal glasses you found at a thrift store into the dining room. "Everyone will be gone right after the stroke of midnight," you promised him. "And I thought you liked your coworkers?" 

He grunted and shrugged. "No, I like Nat. Bob's okay. Jake's annoying. The rest of the guys are fine."

"Oh my god," you whispered in awe, wrapping him up in a hug. "You love me the most, and I'm the only person you're not cranky for, Beer Boy." 

He chuckled and pressed his lips to your temple. "You're just catching onto this now? Ten years away from you has made it so that I want to be with you all the time."

Okay, well now you were thinking about canceling after all. If he was going to be extra sweet like this, you wanted him all to yourself as well. But then you heard someone knocking on the front door. Before you let Bradley go, you said, "If you're well behaved tonight, we can talk about wedding plans tomorrow."

He perked right up. "I'll be so good."

"But it's still a firm no to the Denny's parking lot." 

When you let Nat inside, she gave you a hug and said, "Hey, nice tits," before carrying a bottle of champagne to Bradley. At least now he had his friend to talk to. And you really didn't think your dress was that low cut...

After another knock, you let Bob in, and as soon as he looked at you, he was blushing profusely and stuttering. "Welcome, Bob," you said, really starting to regret wearing this dress in front of anyone except Bradley. When you leaned out onto the porth, the neighborhood was all lit up with twinkle lights. This was your first December outside of Virginia or Chicago, and it was still fairly warm outside. As you propped the door open for the others, you didn't think you'd ever get used to this kind of luxury. You had warm weather and the love of your life.

Soon Javy, Mickey and Reuben arrived with three identical smiles as they looked at you and gave you lingering hugs. "Okay, yep, that's enough," you said as Mickey squeezed you extra tight.

"Hey, Baby! Sugar!" Bradley was calling from the kitchen as you followed the guys in. "Oh, there you are. Do we have any solo cups and ping pong balls? And didn't I buy a case of PBR?"

You just looked at him like he'd lost it. It was New Year's Eve, and you were in your new dress. You even made sure he actually looked nice tonight instead of wearing one of his ratty old tee shirts. You had champagne, and he made crab dip and mini quiches to serve everyone. 

"Maybe in the hall closet? And I'm pretty sure I talked you out of the case of Pabst Blue Ribbon," you said with a frown. "That's cheap fraternity beer, Bradley. We have actual incomes now. Only good beers all the time."

"That's okay," he told you with a quick kiss as he headed for the hall closet. "We can just play with the champagne!"

"What?" you asked, ready to follow him, but the guys had turned up the music. When you looked in the dining room Nat was moving your punch bowl to the floor in the corner, and Reuben was carrying four glasses precariously stacked up in each hand. "What's going on?"

"Rooster said he's a beer pong master," Javy said, before shoving three mini quiches into his mouth at one time. 

Reuben was laughing. "He said he used to party at his fraternity house, but we don't believe him. Not Rooster."

"No," Mickey added. "Rooster always follows the rules. Never breaks them. And he never gets drunk."

"We're playing fucking pong," Bradley said when he returned wearing a backwards cap and holding red solo cups and a pack of ping pong balls. Everyone cheered. "They don't believe I'm a ringer, Sugar," he whispered just to you. "I'm about to fucking smoke their asses."

"Don't get too drunk," you said as Nat took the solo cups and squatted down to fill them using the punch you made with extremely expensive champagne. "Oh god."

"Happy New Year," drawled a voice behind you, and you spun to see Jake holding two more bottles of champagne. His gaze dipped quickly down to your cleavage before returning innocently to your face. He shook his head and said, "You know, sometimes I think Bradshaw might be onto something here."

"I'm never wearing this dress again," you muttered as he handed you both bottles with a huge grin on his face. 

"Now where's everyone else?"

Just then, loud cheering erupted from the dining room, and you walked through the doorway to find Bradley and Javy playing against Bob and Mickey. Nat changed your playlist to one that sounded like it belonged at an actual frat party, and Reuben was scooping one of your crystal glasses into the crab dip and eating it with a spoon. 

"What the fuck?" you gasped. It was like you were back at the Beta Gamma house ten years ago as Bradley took his nice shirt off and tossed it onto the doorknob of the door that said MARRY.

"I'm about to kick your ass, and the dining room table isn't even regulation size," Bradley told Mickey as the WSO missed a shot. "Sugar, we need to look for a table that's regulation dimensions, okay Baby?" he shouted over P.I.M.P. by 50 Cent. He just kept sinking shot after shot into the cups, and Bob was already looking drunk.

So maybe they all really did almost get kicked out of that restaurant before? 

Jake was unbuttoning his shirt as well now as he said, "I have next game. There's no way Bradshaw can get this lucky all night long."

Bradley smirked and laughed as he looked at you. "I can, and I do, Hangman. Don't act like you haven't seen Sugar before."

Jake laughed, and the other guys cheered. You cradled your forehead in your hands as Bradley wolf whistled at you. "Jesus," you muttered, trying to decide if it was a good idea for you to get drunk yourself or if you needed to babysit the whole group.

"Why isn't your wife playing with you?" Nat shouted, and you contemplated closing the front door before your neighbors complained about the noise.

"We're not married yet!" you replied, but Bradley had his arms wrapped around you immediately. 

"Sorry, Baby. I got excited and just grabbed Javy. You know what they say about old habits, and I haven't played beer bong in years. You're my partner next, okay? Your boobs will help distract the opponents."

You gave in and started laughing, because this whole thing was ridiculous. You let Reuben serve you some crab dip in a crystal glass, and you ate it while everyone around you got progressively drunker on your champagne punch. 

Once Bradley and Javy handily won the matchup, he kicked Javy to the other side of the table to team up with Jake who was now completely shirtless. "You're up, Baby," Bradley said, reaching for you with so much excitement. "We're going to kick ass like we used to." His lips tasted faintly of champagne when he kissed you, and you were surprised. He was so good at this game, he rarely had to drink anything. 

"Winning team goes first," Jake said, rolling the balls across the table to you as Nat set freshly filled cups in front of you. Bradley arranged the cups perfectly like this was actually his profession instead of aviation. And you just stood there and laughed as he stepped behind you and helped you square your hips.

"Okay, now, you need to be awesome, Sugar. Just like college. Because I've got like street cred on the line here."

"I got you, Beer Boy," you promised him and he moaned softly in your ear.

"Remember, it's all just a math problem, and you're so fucking good at math." He released you with a little pat on your butt, and then he was peeling his sweaty undershirt off and tossing it aside before fixing his hat. As soon as you were able to stop laughing, you tossed the first ball with a perfect arc, and everyone in the room watched it splash into the solo cup right in front of Jake while Bradley whooped. 

"What did they teach you people in Virginia?" Jake asked, looking at you like he was thoroughly impressed. And then you watched Bradley toss his ball into one of the cups, and Javy groaned as he and Jake picked up their cups and drank. 

"Roll those balls back over here, boys. We made both of our shots, so we go again," Bradley said before he kissed you hard in front of his friends. "Do you have any idea how badly I want to marry you in that Denny's parking lot tomorrow?"

You were laughing as Nat, Reuben, Mickey and Bob all lined up on your side of the table to cheer you on with the crab dip. "Kick their asses! Jake and Javy are good at everything!" Nat shouted over Big Pimpin' by JAY-Z. You did a little dance and then tossed your ball directly into another cup.

"It's just math!" you said with a smile.

"It's math!" Bradley reiterated to Javy and Jake. "And I feel bad for the two of you, because she's a mathematician." Then he made his second toss, too. "And I lived in a fraternity house for three years."

Jake and Javy looked miserable as you chanted, "Chug, chug, chug!" until they emptied their cups. Then you made another absolutely beautiful throw, and Bradley didn't let you down. In fact, the two of you made every single cup, and Javy and Jake didn't even get a chance to throw a single ball.

"House rules! You drink our cups, too!" Bradley informed them, gesturing to the untouched solo cups lined up at your end of the table. 

"Get to it boys," you said as the others cheered. 

Bradley was all over you again as Javy coughed and sputtered as he tried to chug champagne. "I swear to god, Sugar, if we weren't already engaged, I'd propose right now," Bradley told you as you adjusted the cap on his head and ran your fingers through his curls that stuck out from beneath it. 

"I'd say yes again," you whispered just for him. "Who's ready to get their asses kicked next?" you asked everyone. 

You and Bradley cleaned up so handily, the two of you were barely buzzed, but everyone else was hammered by midnight. The front door was still wide open, and the TV was on as you waited for the countdown to the new year. Bradley popped a bottle of champagne just for you and he to sip as Nat sat on the floor right in front of the TV with the punch bowl on her lap. Most of the guys were lined up on the couches, but Jake came right over to you when he stumbled out of the bathroom. 

"I need to know how you did it," he slurred to Bradley as he wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pointed at your chest. "How did you manage to get Dr. Tits here? She's exquisite."

You sputtered as you laughed. "Did you just call me Dr. Tits?"

Jake leaned in close to your ear and laughed. "I'm sorry, but I can't even remember my own name right now, darlin'."

"Okay, Hangman," Bradley said as he handed you the bottle of champagne and pulled Jake off of you. "Clearly she has a thing for fuckboys. You can look, because she's smoking hot and it would be impossible not to, but you don't get to touch."

Well, you couldn't deny that. Jake winked at you as he sat down next to Nat before laying on the floor. Bob had the hiccups, Javy was asleep, Reuben was still eating the crab dip, and Mickey was running to the bathroom to throw up as the clock struck midnight. "I love you," Bradley promised before he kissed you sweetly. "And I think we should spend the day tomorrow laying on the couch and talking about getting married. What do you say, Dr. Tits?"

You pressed your lips together and then said, "Only Jake is allowed to call me that," as you erupted into laughter at the scandalized look on Bradley's face.

You kissed his cheek as he said, "I swear, just for that, it's Denny's or nothing, Sugar."

"We'll talk about it tomorrow," you replied laughing as you looked at the sloppy mess of Bradley's coworkers on all of your living room surfaces. "Now help me get all of them in Ubers so you can help me out of my dress."

"Oh, hell yes," he replied as he started clapping loudly. "Wake up guys. Rides are coming. Time for you to go so I can get lucky."

The two of you herded everyone outside and into the two cars when they showed up. "Night, Dr. Tits," Jake announced loudly to your entire quiet street as he kissed your cheek before Bradley shoved him into the waiting SUV. 

"Dr. Tits..." Reuben said with a laugh. "Sounds like a superhero who is very good at beer pong."

"She is a superhero. She puts up with Rooster's shit," Nat said as she climbed in behind Jake. 

"I think my sister went to Comic Con as Dr. Tits one year," Mickey said deliriously as Bradley helped him with his seatbelt. "The many adventures of Dr. Tits. She's my favorite Avenger."

Javy was already asleep on Bob as the cars pulled away, and Bradley scooped you up on the driveway and carried you back toward the porch. "You wanna go on an adventure with me, Sugar?"

You took his hat off and put it on your own head. "Are you talking about undressing me or marrying me right now?"

"Both," he replied easily as he kicked the front door closed behind you.

"Then yes."

---------------------------

Beer Boy and Sugar warm my cold, dead heart. Fuckboy Jake, drunk on champagne, also warms my heart. Thanks to @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls

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[thathomestar]

played through the black mesa blue shift mod, up through the xen chapter since that's all they've released so far. the mod aims to remake the entirety of blue shift in the style of black mesa, and boy howdy does it deliver on that, for better and for worse.

they actually establish a couple supporting characters, more security guards and scientists, which is nice. in the original game it was basically just dr rosenberg, so more named characters is a good change imo. feels like you're actually rallying people together to fight your way out of black mesa.

a weird thing this mod does is take away player control sometimes. i can understand it for specific sequences, like when the elevator crashes at the beginning or when you first teleport into xen, but it also does it for some mundane things too, like inserting a keycard into a switch. why? half-life's whole thing is letting the player be in control the whole time.

the first few chapters are well paced, but it starts feeling like its padding a bit when you go off to find dr rosenberg. you have to do this whole song and dance moving a train back and forth and turning it around properly on turntables to bust him out. they could have cut out some of the tedium there a little.

my problems really start when it comes to the xen chapter. the original blue shift xen chapter lasts for roughly 30-40 minutes for a first time player, though someone like me was able to speed through it in under 15. with the black mesa mod, they have stretched out the runtime of this chapter to 3 hours.

it starts off pretty strong, you're making your way through xen, taking in the sights and finding all the stuff the previous science teams have left behind. about 90 minutes in i was wondering when i'm gonna get to the focal point relay thing, the whole reason calhoun goes to xen in the first place.

but instead you keep detouring through black mesa outposts and alien factory things and it just gets so long in the tooth. it'd be one thing if you get to one of these places and you're there for 5-10 minutes at most, but you typically spend over 20, sometimes even 30 minutes at these places.

there's one bit where you inexplicably decide to jump on the back of one of the giant flying manta rays and it flies around for like 15 minutes like an autoscroller section until it gets shot down by alien railguns, and then you spend 30 minutes making your way over to and destroying the railguns. and the whole time i'm just like... when are we getting to the focal point thing.

so finally you get to the focal point relay and turn it on but it gets jammed by a signal so you spend another 40 minutes blazing through ANOTHER alien factory so you can blow it up and you make your way back to the focal point thing and the portal's open but alien controllers keep telekinetically grabbing you and yanking you away from it... and it's just so exhausting. i got burned out.

not to mention the weirdness with how they handle vortigaunts. so in black mesa they do this whole thing in xen to show that the vorts are slaves and don't actually want to fight you, but calhoun never encounters any of that stuff. for the first 2/3rds of xen in this mod, vortigaunts are constantly trying to kill you non-stop. then all of a sudden they don't attack you anymore. why? because i, the player know they're not really bad? why would calhoun know that? it doesn't really make sense to me.

xen is cool. i like xen. if you told me "we're adding more xen to blue shift" i'd be like alright that's cool. but 6-8 times more? that's way too much. xen in blue shift was never meant to be a long trip. calhoun was supposed to get in, find the focal point relay, align it, and leave, not go on a grand alien gallivanting adventure. that's for gordon to do.

[justporo]

My new bestie, I honestly would love to see you write Father!Astarion 🤤🤤

How would he react to the news? Would he want a little girl or boy? How would he react when they are born, and they look just like him, but pre vamp eyes?

(Vampires can sire babies, with the highest chance after they are fully well fed)

Hello my tadpole bestie and thanks for the request! Astarion as a father really seems to be on people's minds, hm?

I get it, I like it too, but let me put this out there (yeah yeah, I know it's all fictional, but let's be real for a second): I would much rather imagine this when Astarion has done some much needed healing. This man hasn't had autonomy in two centuries and really needs to find himself again and work through trauma - with Tav on his side of course. And children are a huge responsibility - mentally, physically, emotionally, financially - I imagine (I wouldn't know, I'm not a parent...). I'd really wish for him to be ready for something like that.

But the thought is incredibly sweet, so let's go:

Headcanons about Astarion being a father

When Tav tells him she's expecting, he's truly speechless for perhaps the first time in his life; and then he can't sit still: swinging from delusionally happy to overthinking and being worried; but Tav takes his hand and reassures him that they'll be in it together

Has he thought about having kids? Yeah sure, but he'd never thought of it being possible until it happened, although when Cazador forced him and the other spawn to behave like a family he'd sometimes thought about what could've been

He's absolutely overprotective when Tav's pregnant: "Oh no, no, darling, you are not carrying that around, think of the baby!" "Astarion, it's A MUG OF WATER!"

Also he adores her body that is creating such a miracle: "You're glowing, my heart. You are truly a goddess!"

If he was handsy before there are now no moments where his hands aren't on Tav's body and on her belly

When he feels the first movements, he cries, and then Tav cries and then there's just a fountain of happy tears and lots of "I love you"s

He's taking such good care of Tav; especially when she doesn't feel well or when she's exhausted - she'll get all the herbal teas and massages

Birth though is scary - for both of them; but I'm sure he'll have some friends by his side (because think about the adventure troupe waiting with him while he's pacing the room like a panther: Karlach's biting her nails off, Gale's just blabbering to distract himself, Shadowheart is praying for everything to go well, Wyll tries to calm Astarion down (unsuccessfully), Lae'zel is unusually silent with crossed arms hoping everything will be okay, Halsin's keeping the group fed and all because "Nature will make it all right")

Boy or girl? Doesn't matter at all, all that's important is that Tav and the baby are healthy and ready to receive all his love

First time holding his child - he can't even cry because it's such a miracle; "This... this is the best thing I've ever had and created!"

The tears come later when you're alone - just the three of you

He's absolutely a very loving father, caring so much about his kid - and also equally taking on responsibilities and care with Tav

When the kid's eyes become their real colour and it sparks a memory Astarion had long forgotten, he's too stunned to acknowledge what he's seeing: the kid has his eyes - the way they were before he was turned

Later, when the child's already a little bigger he loves to show them stuff, teach them, read to them; also inciting them to go and annoy Mom - which makes Tav want to push him off a cliff but also hug him to death - because who'd have thought it would ever be possible?

Alright alright - I've gotten almost off the rails with this one. Because honestly, there's a lot to imagine there. Also maybe I wasn't prepared for the things that would make me feel (and I don't mean baby fever).

Alright, hope you enjoyed this headcanons, time for me to go to bed!

[geraskierfanficprompts]

Prompt 124

In place of August Twelfth, Promptapalooza 5/ When Geralt is a young boy going through the trials, he's afraid of friends. So many boys... Don't make it through. It's easier to not get attached. But it got lonely. Too lonely. So one day, he picked up a dandelion that grew in between the stones in the courtyard, and he made a wish. And that's when he noticed he wasn't alone. There was a boy there. A new boy. He hasn't seen this one before. He must be from the wish! ... Geralt can't focus his eyes enough to figure out what the boy looks like. What is his hair like? Maybe it's curly? Or it poofs out like the dandelion did? The boy giggles and Geralt cocks his head to the side. No.. No it'd be something... Fun. Mischievous, but well-meaning... Messy and tousled. Perhaps a bit wavy. Fluffy and soft. What color would it be? He glances back to the dandelion and thinks of white hair, before he cringes, his own white hair invading his joy. He looked freakish. The dandelion boy didn't deserve that. He'll stay away from dandelion colors. Maybe brown. A nice chestnut color. Geralt blinks and the boy's hair changes before his eyes, becoming what he thought. The boy giggles again and Geralt admires the way it sounds. The boy focuses a tiny bit. His eyes. What about his eyes? He shouldn't be cursed with a witcher's eyes. Something prettier. Like a flower. Blue. The boy unblurs further, staring at him with big blue eyes. Lastly, he needs a name. "Dandelion." His vision of the boy finally cleared, and sat beside him was what must be his new friend. "I'm Geralt." "I'm Dandelion!" "I know that, I named you." "Do you want to play?" And Geralt nods, smiling. Years have passed, and Dandelion is easily Geralt's best friend. Some others have made fun of him here and there for believing in his imaginary friend, but Geralt doesn't care. Dandelion means a lot to him. Geralt's favorite thing to do with Dandelion is have Dandelion sing to him. He likes the sound, and Dandelion is truly very good at it. It all started when Dandelion sang him a lullaby one night when he was scared. Geralt then couldn't stop asking for more and more songs. Dandelion disappears one day. (Maybe during the collapse of the schools? For fun angst?) Geralt mourns and grieves him for years. He ponders for hours what could've made him leave. Was he scared off? Did Geralt do something? Was he ever really real? Years and years and years later, Geralt hears singing. Beautiful, familiar singing. He charges into the tavern and scares the patrons, but he doesn't even care, because standing on stage, playing a lute, is Dandelion. "If you'll excuse me, ladies and gentlemen! A friend of mine has come for me." And he skips off the stage, and right over to Geralt. "Where did you go?" "...I... Had to find a way to be real. Seen by others. Besides you." "Was I not enough?" "No! I mean yes! You were! But- Well, If we were to go on adventures like we always promised, I'd rather people not hold out on paying you because they thought you were crazy for speaking to me!" He laughs, and Geralt can't help it, he chuckles as well. "I- I go by Jaskier now." "Jaskier." "I sing." "...So you do." "I was waiting for you to find me. I knew this town would be on your route! Wasn't I so strategic, Geralt?" "Very strategic, Dand- Jaskier." "Have you come to take me on our adventures, Geralt?" "...Yes, Jaskier. I have."

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading update: july 2024

full disclosure: I started out July in a bit of a mental lurch, really feeling stuck in a rut. there are a lot of reasons for that, absolutely none of which need to be shared with the general populace of tumblr dot com, but suffice to say that I was feeling listless and reading was not a high priority. I was pretty content to accept that this was going to be another month where I didn't finish a lot of books. I was too busy for most of June, and now too unfocused and bummed out in July.

and then that ended up not being the case. I think I can chalk that up to three things:

very early in the month I realized that none of the reading I had been planning on getting to was grabbing my interest at all, so I did something drastically different: picked up a YA memoir that I bought at pride on the recommendation of a bookseller. not my usual kind of reading at all, but YA is very readable and memoirs grab me fast because I'm nosy, so I figured it might be great for getting out of a rut. and boy, was I right!

Akwaeke Emezi also has a new novel out, and if you don't know then please note now that I'm a person second and an Akwaeke Emezi fan first. their newest novel was a sinister joyride, non-stop twists and turns that I couldn't put down until I saw the characters through to their bitter ends.

and, of course, over in the Dungeon Meshi manga I got to Mithrun. I've only had Mithrun for a couple of chapters, but if anything happened to him I'd kill everyone in this dungeon and then myself. even if I hadn't been able to read anything else, that would have kept me running back to the library for more Dungeon Meshi.

all of which added up to a fairly voracious appetite for books being reignited in my brain, and my second most book-heavy month of the year so far (still haven't beat May, but there's time). sick!

so - what have I been reading?

Delicious in Dungeon Vol. 7-10 (Ryoko Kui, trans. Taylor Engel, 2019-2022) - mannnnn I know I'm not saying anything that hasn't been said elsewhere, but Dungeon Meshi is so. fucking good. the way that Kui starts to raise the stakes of the story and grow the world beyond the core band of adventurers is so conscientious and well-done, timed perfectly so it never feels like having an undercooked heap of fantasy exposition thrown at you all at once. instead everything proceeds at a perfect simmer, leaving me feeling like the frog in that pot of boiling water who didn't notice how dire things had gotten until it was very suddenly too late and I was screaming bloody murder at a book. things have gotten so dire that I'm yearning for the days when fighting a red dragon was our biggest problem - and yet, through it all, every character remains rendered with humanity and compassion, no matter how scary, dangerous, or outright alien they first appear. I'm not naming any spoilers, but I need [REDACTED] to fix shit ASAP in Vol. 11 and [SUPER REDACTED] is on my shitlist fucking forever. also Mithrun sweetie you're perfect, do as many crimes as you want.

Heart and Hand (Rebel Carter, 2019) - my romance novel of the month, as picked by my lovely patreonites! this self-published historical romance promised some messy f/m/m, following a biracial (half Black, half white) young lady, Julie Baptiste, as she responds to a marriage ad that takes her out west to the fictional town of Gold Sky, Montana. Julie's sort of a standard historical heroine - she doesn't care for the silliness of high society and vastly prefers the company of books, looking forward to becoming Gold Sky's schoolteacher - but her marriage has a twist: rather than marrying one man, she's agreed to marry two, a pair of friends who have been inseparable since they served together in the Civil War. this book is charming, for sure, but I can't help be more intrigued by what isn't there than what is, namely: are these men having sex with each other or not? Rebel? hey, Rebel? why is there no DP in this two husbands mail order bride book? that was, like, he bare minimum that I expected. for the love of god, why did those men never put both of their dicks inside Julie at the same time? why did we spend so much time on emotional conflict that could be easily resolved if anyone just talked to each other when Julie's two beautiful husbands could have been having sex in front of her? HELLO?

also, listen, this is such a nitpick, but I am FROM Montana and it feels personal: I know that the general poverty of frontier life isn't sexy, but god these people are WAY too well off. at one point Julie enjoys some fucking BANANAS, something that I goddamn assure you were not easy to come by in late 19th century Montana. a banana. as fucking if.

All Boys Aren't Blue (George M. Johnson, 2020) - as is proudly advertised on the back cover of my copy, in recent years All Boys Aren't Blue has been the second most-challenged book in America behind Maia Kobabe's Gender Queer. reading through All Boys Aren't Blue it was initially hard to see what exactly was so objectionable, until I realized that a queer Black person living their life with compassion and joy is the scariest thing some of these motherfuckers can possibly imagine. Johnson writes about their life growing up in the nexus of racism, homophobia, and masculinity with wisdom and endless compassion, directly addressing young people who may find themselves in similar positions to offer them assurance that they, too, can be okay. more than anything, All Boys Aren't Blue is a plea for young people to live their lives without fear and shame. it's a beautiful blessing of a book that I hope brings comfort to every innumerable kids who need it.

Little Rot (Akwaeke Emezi, 2024) - how do I even begin to describe Little Rot? definitely not for those who feel squeamish about sex crimes, I guess that's an important place to start. this novel starts with the breakup of a long-term Nigerian couple, Kalu and Aima, and follows both of them into a weekend that starts with drugs and sex parties and spirals increasingly out of control from there, drawing more and more characters into a complicated snarl of money and power. Little Rot has the seedy, lurid draw of an episode of SVU if SVU ever grew up and realized that cops don't do shit, reveling in the nastiest that Emezi's imagined city of New Lagos has to offer. cannot say this book is for everyone - few of Emezi's novels are - but god, it's a thrilling study in corruption.

The Persistent Desire: A Femme-Butch Reader (editor Joan Nestle, 1992) - this is a massive and fascinating historical document, assembled by Nestle as part of her work with the Lesbian Herstory Archives. within this collection are letters, interviews, academic essays, poems, and transcribed oral histories from all manner of self-identified butch and femme lesbians. while some of the contributors are recognizable names in the history of American queer activism (including Pat Califa, who's a bisexual trans man now lmao), others are women who were just trying to live their lives with as much authenticity, comfort, and dignity as was possible in their time. (although, notably, the vast majority of these women are white, and all but a very few are Americans. racial and cultural diversity is not one of the collection's strong suits.)

the personal narratives span all over the twentieth century, and I was really delighted to see the very frank discussions of what would be written off as "bad representation" by a lot of queer resources today: butches overdosing on toxic masculinity and getting in messy bar brawls, femmes committing outlandish acts of adultery, lesbian sexual awakenings taking place between fairly young children, and one extremely memorable instance of a butch getting unexpectedly pregnant and decided to do a little sex work on the side since she couldn't get more pregnant than she already was. I was particularly fascinated by the many, many accounts of "second wave" self-identified lesbian feminists who tried to do away with butch/femme identities and "politically incorrect" expression of lesbian sexuality altogether (that's everything but mutual cunnilingus, btw) in pretty eerie echoes of contemporary radfem arguments. at close to 500 pages it's definitely better suited to skimming and stopping to read whatever catches your attention rather than trying to read cover to cover, but I think this is a really invaluable piece of history.

American Mermaid (Julia Langbien, 2023) - this was a novel, for sure. American Mermaid is a novel about a broke, anxious high school teacher named Penelope whose novel, also called American Mermaid, is a runaway success that gets optioned for film. Penelope quits her teaching job and moves across the country to Hollywood to work on the script with two dude bros who don't really Get what American Mermaid is about, and set to work turning Penelope's weird, unsexy female empowerment novel into an MCU-style action romp with a hot young lead. the novel's strongest when it's deep in the spirals of Penelope's frantic mind, probing the conflict between her fairly desperate need for cash (she wants to be financially independent of her conservative father, she has good reason to suspect breast cancer is in her future, she wants to start a family someday) and the artistic affront she feels at watching her story be disrespected and dismantled. where it's weaker is in the extensive chapters of the story-within-a-story; while useful for context, I straight up didn't need to read that much of Penelope's novel. and the plot overall kind of felt like it fell off the rails near the end once Langbien finishes making her point about how Hollywood sucks. it's not bad, but it's also just... fine. it's fine!

How to Taste: A Guide Discovering Flavor and Savoring Life (Mandy Naglich, 2023) - how do I put this so nicely? this book is for people who are kind of dork ass losers about food, a group that I do very much count myself as a part of. I first became acquainted with Naglich's work when she appeared on a podcast called the Sporkful, which claims that it is "not for foodies, it's for eaters." I'm a fairly devout listener, and after listening to Naglich describe her efforts to become a master cicerone (one of the world's most elite beer tasters, a distinction that is taken Very Fucking Seriously) I thought sure, whatever, that's a book I can get behind. Naglich is maybe a big more entertaining as a podcast guest than a nonfiction author. in places the book can be dry or roughly constructed in a way that suggests another pass by an editor or maybe a co-writer would have helped. and straight up, there are just weird fucking typos in this book that are like. crazy to me, I cannot believe they got through. the cheap-ass cover art also suggests this was not exactly a high budget production.

but having been very mean about it, there are a lot of extremely interesting tidbits about the world of professional tasting here! it sounds awful and you couldn't pay me to do it, but here's the cool thing: Naglich is extremely aware that what she does is insane and she knows that the average reader doesn't want to learn how to identify where a coffee bean was grown just by sniffing the bean from across a room. what she offers instead are really approachable ways to be more conscientious about how you interact with and appreciate food! and she also shares some really cool info about tasting snobbery that IS bullshit, to help you sort out the stuff that actually matters and emphasize that fun and personal taste ultimately trump any "rules." it's a very dorky book but I, personally, did have a good time.

Sex Criminals Vol 3: Three the Hard Way (Matt Fraction and Chip Zdarsky, 2016) - every time I read another volume of Sex Criminals I find myself thinking "man, hang on, do I ever actually like Sex Criminals? am I enjoying this?" but then I end up placing a hold on the next one. I don't know, it's charming! it's like so very VERY 2010s in its dialogue, by which I mean it's like. you know. it's giving Joss Whedon before we all found out how bad he sucked and collectively booed him. but man, I love a story that's down to get weird, and Sex Criminals is sooooo about being weird. and yet also very normal where sex is concerned! considering this is a series all about people having freaky world-altering powers that activate when they cum, sex is treated as an incredibly ordinary thing, warts and all. I like that! I like seeing that! idk, I don't need every comic to be perfect, as evidenced by the fact that I'm actively enjoying Azrael: Angel of the Bat. sometimes the vibes are just good.

[blakeswritingimagines]

Dating Bonnie Gold would include:

In one word, I'd say - exciting. He's very passionate, he likes to have fun, He loves to joke around, and likes to test the limits of your patience. His personality is a mixture of sweetness and feistiness, and he's always willing to try new things. My only requirement to date me: you can't break my heart.

He's a bit protective and possessive in relationships, but he tries not to be too clingy. He likes to have his own space and time to himself, but he also wants to make sure you spend enough time together. He's not really into drama or playing games, so he's pretty straightforward when it comes to relationships. He believes in honesty, trust, and communication.

Dating him means being with someone who is open, honest, and loving. He'll always be there when you need him, and he'll do everything he can to make you happy. You can expect loyalty and commitment from me, along with plenty of laughs and adventures. he loves having fun, and he'll always keep things interesting. He doesn't take life too seriously, and he knows how to enjoy the little things.

He appreciates the finer things in life, so he'll treat you like the king/queen you are and shower you with gifts and surprises. He's a good listener and he's always willing to talk about your day, whether it was good or bad. Dating him also means being a part of his world. His family is very important to him, so you should expect to get to know them too.

A relationship with him means that you'll have someone who will always have your back, no matter what. He's that shoulder to cry on, that listening ear, that hand to hold, and that person you can count on when things get tough. Dating him means that you can count on him to be there for you through the ups and downs of life.

His work with the Peaky Blinders definitely affects the relationship. It's a dangerous and volatile business, and he often has to balance the demands of his job with the needs you also have. It's not always easy, but he tries to ensure that you feel supported and understood.

He wouldn't expect you to come to every fight, but he would definitely want you there for the biggest moments in his boxing career, when he's not training or fighting, having your support and encouragement means a lot to him. Having you in his corner is a big blessing to him.

He tries to be empathetic and reassuring, and he tries to create an open dialogue so that you can communicate about any issues that may arise. If the jealousy becomes excessive or possessive, then it's time for a more serious conversation about boundaries and expectations.

He's a very affectionate person and he loves showing you affection, whether that's verbal or physical. He likes making sure you know how he feels and he likes making you feel loved and appreciated. It's also important for him to receive affection from you because it's a way of expressing how you feel about him and your relationship.

He's a big fan of dates. He likes to come up with creative and unique ideas for dates and make them memorable. He likes to plan ahead but also likes to be spontaneous and let the night take you wherever it may be. He does try to put a lot of thought and effort into making your dates special.

He's also very protective of you. He'll always do what he can to keep you safe, whether it's from other people or dangerous situations. He's proud of his strength and his ability to stand up for himself and those he loves.

In addition to the demands of his work, he also has to consider the dynamics of being a Gypsy boy. He grew up in a world of violence and crime, and he has a deep-rooted connection to his culture and heritage. That connection can sometimes be tricky to balance with the more conventional lifestyle that you may live. He's aware and respectful of the differences between your backgrounds, and he tries to find ways to incorporate both into your relationship in a positive way.

This comes with its own set of challenges when it comes to a romantic relationship. Gypsy culture is known for its strong sense of family and the importance of tradition. In addition to that, there's also the stereotype that Gypsy men are not faithful or committed in their relationships. He's aware of these stereotypes and aims to challenge and disprove them making it clear you're the only one for him.

He's a very independent and self-sufficient person. He has his own goals and aspirations, and he doesn't depend on anyone else to meet his needs. He's strong-willed and passionate, and he doesn't let anything hold him back. Though he may appear hard on the outside, he's actually quite soft on the inside, and he has a vulnerable side that he reserves for those he loves.

He is very open-minded and versatile. He's a very social person and enjoys meeting new people and exploring different cultures. It's important to him to be accepting and open-hearted, and he's willing to try new things and step out of his comfort zone.

Dating him means experiencing the most intense and thrilling relationship you could ever imagine. He's a passionate, determined, and independent soul, and he brings out the best in everyone around him. He's not afraid of a challenge, and always pushes himself to better himself. He's loyal, trustworthy, and always there for those he loves. He's a spark of energy that ignites the fire within you.

His family is very protective of him and it's important to them that they like and get along with the person he's dating. He's very close with his family, so he cares a lot about their opinions. They can be daunting at times.

Marriage is definitely something he sees in his future. He's like a hopeless rom-com romantic, after all, and the thought of growing old with the person he loves is very appealing to him. He may not be the most traditional person, but he believes in commitment and he's ready to make the ultimate commitment. That's not to say that he's in a rush to get married-- He needs that special spark to make it last forever.

On the topic of children, he does want to have them one day. Having a family with you is a dream of his. He knows you both have plenty of time to start a family, but he knows that he can provide a loving, safe, and nurturing environment for the children. He's not sure exactly how many he wants, but there's nothing wrong with waiting.

Finally, I'd like to end by saying that he's far from a perfect person. He's flawed and makes mistakes, but I think that's what makes him real. He's not afraid to show his vulnerability and open up to the people he really trusts. He's willing to learn and grow, and he's always looking to improve himself. If you're looking for someone who's open-minded, independent, and true to himself, then he may just be the one for you.

He really enjoys intimacy and emotional connections with you. He is a very caring and sensitive person and appreciates feeling close to someone in a deeper way than just physically. He's also a very affectionate person and loves showing his love and appreciation through physical closeness.

He also enjoys various forms of pain play, such as inflicting or receiving pain as part of your play. The rush of adrenaline and the release of endorphins can be very pleasurable and satisfying. He's particularly fond of certain types of pain, like sharp or burning sensations, which can really get his motor running.

He enjoys some lighter forms of play, like gentle care and affection. He loves being told that he's loved and cherished and finds it very healing to be comforted and supported by you.

Activities like cuddling, kissing, and roleplay scenarios. Cuddling with you after a long day of work or a particularly intense session of play is a great way for him to show you how much he cares about you and how much he enjoys being close to you.

Foreplay is also essential for him – He loves taking his time building up anticipation and excitement before finally diving into full-on intercourse or other forms of sexual activity.

He loves teasing you by running his fingers lightly over your skin, whispering naughty comments in your ear, or leaving you hanging on the edge of orgasm for extended periods without letting you climax.

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Since ive been playing Stardew again, mainly thanks to Stardew Expanded, and have been on a Stardew kick in general:

How would the different villagers (base game, no mod villagers, with maybe the inclusion of Marlon, Gunther, Krobus and the dwarf maybe?) react to a cottagecore (actual) witch (wizard, spellcaster, whatever you wanna call this version of the farmer) who, while making artisan goods like jellies and mead, also makes potions and enchanted knick knacks that help people too?

Hewwo :D

As you can see, dear anon, I got rather... carried away with the question, so I apologize for the long reply. I hope you enjoy it, and thanks again for the ask! 💕

SDV townies react to the cottagecore wizard/witch!Farmer who, in addition to artisan goods, makes potions and enchants trinkets:

_________________________________________

Shane doesn't mind the home-brewed beer and hot peppers from the garden that the Farmer regularly treats him to, but doesn't need to be told about the trinkets and stinky herbal concoctions and other weird stuff. The chicken lover doesn't believe in that (even though he's facing a real wizard/witch), and he has pills for his hangover.

No matter how hard Marlon tried to talk the Farmer out of it and explain that they didn't owe him anything for his help (a.k.a. "how once again Marlon had delivered the unconscious Farmer home"), but the new member of the Adventurers' Guild was stubborn and left on Marlon's table a dozen life elixirs that they had brewed themselves, as well as a whole basket of fresh apples. Well, it was rude to refuse, but the old adventurer still wanted the Farmer to be careful in the Mines next time.

A good luck bracelet? Ha! Thanks, Farmer, but Alex doesn't need one. He's a real sports star (not yet recognized, but soon!), and he relies solely on his talents and muscles. Although, if an athlete knows Farmer very well, he won't turn down a bracelet. Although he's not superstitious, a gift from a friend as a token of attention really touched him. Not that he'll admit it out loud, of course.

"Will I be able to fly?! Or talk to animals? Will I be able to talk to trees too? Will I turn into a dinosaur? Or invisible? I'd like to become an invisible dinosaur!" Yeah, I guess it wasn't such a good idea for the Farmer to announce to Vincent that they were brewing potions in addition to farming. Who knew the boy would be so intrigued by the Farmer's activities, after all, where else would you see a Farmer who could not only make cheese, but also do magic things?

Jas is a pretty smart girl, and quickly guessed about Farmer's unusual talents. She promised to keep it a secret.... If the Farmer promised to show her those unusual black chickens. Given that the farm is not far from her aunt's ranch, Jas often comes to visit the hospitable Farmer, just to watch them conjure or make cheese. And for black chickens. So cute!

To be honest, Marnie is a little... confused. She doesn't really believe in magic and all, but one event has made her reconsider. The Farmer recently gave her an totem that they say protects her lovely chickens from forest predators (poor Marnie is still grieving over hen Matilda, who was stolen by a fox). Now foxes approaching the coop howl, as if wounded, when they see the totem and run away. A coincidence, or does the totem really work?

"Ah, fellow craftsman! Glad to see that the practice of the arts of alchemy and enchantment is still not extinct." Wizard knew from the beginning that Farmer was connected with the magical world, but even for him it was a surprise that the young talent could cast complex spells and brew potions. And most importantly, help the locals (well, or at least not harm anyone). Hm, he was just looking for an apprentice, and Farmer would be perfect candidate...

Leah isn't much into elixirs and talismans, but when the red-haired girl fell ill, the Farmers were the first to help and gave her some funny-smelling potions that made her feel better instantly. They also treated Leah to some homemade goat cheese and fruits. Witch or not, Leah was glad to have such a caring friend and promised herself to do something for the Farmer in return.

Even though Demetrius had no desire to offend or insult the Farmer in any way, the scientist will look very sceptical at the amulet the Farmer offers him for protection against evil spirits. And for all the spells that the Farmer shows, desperately trying to prove to Demetrius that they are real spellcasters, he will wave his hand, saying that it is all scientifically explainable. Farmer is levitating, the hell you mean scientifically explainable?!

Clint wanted to ask something about a love potion, but quickly silenced himself before the Farmer could hear anything. It would hardly be true love if you put that magic stuff in there.... What?! No, he didn't mean anyone in particular, they heard nothing! In general, the blacksmith doesn't care if the Farmer grows strawberries, enchants bracelets or practises fortune-telling.

Abigail has become a very frequent visitor to the farm. The violet-haired girl sometimes likes to sit in the Farmer's kitchen, helping or watching them make blueberry jam or pickled tomatoes. But most of all she is interested in watching them brew potions or just the way the spoons stir themselves thanks to magic. Abigail will also ask them to make her a elixirs taster ("Pretty please!").

Perhaps Lewis would have just politely ignored the Farmer's statement that they were a wizard and that they would be happy to help him and the people of the Valley with potions, but still the Pelican Town Mayor decided to try his luck and ask the Farmer one specific question. Hmm? Why did Lewis need a stamina potion? Erm, well, Lewis wanted to start doing, er... exercise, and- Never mind, forget what he just said, Farmer.

You know that look on some parents' faces when their little child hands them a craft made of dirt or leaves, and the adults try to squeeze out a smile and say what an interesting thing their kid made? That's what was on Jodi's face when Farmer gave her the gift with a proud smile. Thank you so much for the fresh vegetables, Farmer, and, umm.... What's with the skull pendant with the glowing eyes? "Luck pendant? Ahahaha, how nice, thank you!" (Jodi dies inside).

A small woven basket, containing some fruit or goodies, and a small vial of purple liquid.... Almost everyone in the Valley had received a gift from the unusual Farmer, and Robin was no exception. The carpenter doesn't know what's up with the "potion to cure diseases", but she's just glad that the Farmer has fit into their little community so quickly and takes care of everyone like family. Robin smiles genuinely and is already on her way home with peaches given by the Farmer to treat her husband and her children.

One day Haley is sure to drop by the Farmer's to visit and ask them to let her have a photo session of their farm. Because this place is sure to be a winner in Zuzu City's "All About the Country life" photo contest! Plus, the blonde-haired girl discovered the delights of rural life, and the Farmer themself turned out to be a very interesting person. But Haley can't stand the smell of the cauldron. Why would the Farmer have a cauldron in his kitchen?

For about an hour now, poor Maru has been racking her brains and searching medical books and scientific articles for any information about the ingredients that the Farmers, as they themselves claim, put in the "potion". It's phenomenal - a liquid that instantly cured Maru's burn on her arm! (the result of a failed experiment). Poor Farmer only wanted to bring the young inventor the cure and fresh strawberries, but ended up being showered with a mountain of questions from a exited Maru. "Magic? Witches and wizards? Nonsense!"

Kent had been standing by the front door of the farmhouse for some more than ten minutes now, keeping his eyes fixed on the broom that was brushing the porch steps by itself. Either his nightmares had made him crazy, or those pickled mushrooms the Farmer had treated the military man with (and given several jars of mushrooms as a treat to his family) were laced with some sort of hallucinogen. Farmer stepped out onto the porch. "Ah, I can use magic to make a broom sweep!" Apparently it was the mushrooms after all, Kent thought.

Did someone say pendants with stones that have magical properties? Or dreamcatchers? Then Emily's on her way! Nothing brings the blue-haired girl more joy than discussions about amethyst, that ability to enhance the wearer's intuition, or the positive emotion-filled bracelets she's made for her friends. Granted Emily has a slightly different field (and Farmer's pendants are enchanted for real), but she would be the one closest to Farmer's interest in making trinkets of all sorts to help others.

Oh, Gus knows well that if he needs the best quality produce for his meals, the owner of the Saloon can ask the hard-working and kind Farmer for help. Admittedly, at times he is a bit taken aback when the Farmer still offers him unfamiliar herbs and products that they have made themselves. "Moon salt", what is that? Seems edible, even delicious! Definitely going into his escargot.

"That's the ugliest thing I've ever seen in my life." Whoa, Pam, you don't have to be that blunt with the person you're getting a gift from. Yes, the bracelet may not have the most adorable look, but the Farmer is a spellcaster with experience, and this trinket will help bring Pam happiness, wealth, and- "Thanks for the mead and the parsnips, kiddo, but I'm not taking this creepy bracelet." Pam, don't be rude to the Farmer, where's your manners and gratitude?

Yoba, Harvey tries to be polite and patient, but he can't stay away when he sees Farmer offering other residents elixirs that, they say, will "instantly cure illnesses"??? He is a doctor, and has devoted years at university to curing people, while Farmer is engaging in, pardon his harsh words, quackery?! However, when the doctor is convinced that Farmer is a real wizard/witch, he quickly apologizes and goes into a crisis. Someone give this man a glass of wine or Harvey is about to freak out.

Oh, no, no, no, no! Pierre had already made a mistake once in his youth when he bought a "talisman that brings wealth and good luck" from a stranger who claimed to be a sorceress, but it turned out to be just a cheap glass craft. So he had to create wealth with his bare hands. The shopkeeper would refuse all the amulets offered by the Farmer, and the strange elixirs too. But to buy their homemade strawberry wine of iridium quality is always welcome!

When the Farmer had just arrived in Stardew Valley, Willy had once told them that he had an amulet against all sorts of misfortunes, which he had had to sell because the money was almost gone. The old sailor had already had time to regret it, but you can't bring back the past. Farmer remembered this moment, and out of kindness made a real sea amulet for Willy. And unlike the old one, this will definitely protect him from treacherous sirens or huge deep-sea monsters while fishing.

"So enchanting objects for each other is normal for humans?" Krobus had thought that only the Wizard had knowledge of the forgotten arts, but it seemed he had missed some details when he had studied the lives of the local people of Pelican Town. People usually don't do that? Oh, alright..

The amulet that Sebastian received as a gift from the Farmer looks so cool and creepy that Sebby has started wearing it with his everyday clothes. True, the young man was a little distrustful of the Farmer's words about the "enchantment" of this trinket. He was interested in all sorts of occult things, but was not sure about the magic. Farmer, in order to prove their words, gave him another "frog magnet" talisman. The next day, by Sebastian's surprised face and a dozen frogs jumping after him, it was clear that the local emo definitely believed now.

An enchanted pendant that allows you to see artifacts hidden from human eyes... That explains how the Farmers were able to find and provide Gunther with such rare specimens of forgotten civilizations. Did they make such an amulet themselves? Amazing! What? An amulet for him? Thank you very much, Farmer. Now together, the two of them can not only restore the local museum to its former glory, but also make it even better!

Penny doesn't know what the little bottle of liquid the Farmer gave her, but her flu is gone in just an hour after she empties the contents of the bottle. Thank you so much, Farmer, for helping the young teacher by giving her this medicine. "My pleasure, the elixir of healing diseases isn't that hard to make, the main thing is not to overdo it with the wolfsbane." "W- what?...." Penny didn't have time to ask again, as the Farmer handed her a basket of oranges and wished her good health, running off on their own.

Linus had time to show the young mage (yes, it's no secret to him that they have a magical gift) all the secret places to pick unusual berries and mushrooms. Because he knows that the Farmer will definitely use it in brewing elixirs to help people, and that can't help but please the good-hearted wild man. Plus, he has to say thank you somehow for that wonderful blueberry pie.

From the Farmer's window there is almost always the smell of delicious baked goods or the pleasant scent of flowers, and Sam, without noticing it himself, has begun to walk past the farm often. The young guitarist doesn't need to be told twice when he's invited for pie or maple donuts. Farmer is always happy to have guests, especially if the guests decide to brighten up their mornings with a beautiful music. "What's brewing in the pot?" "Elixir of immortality." "Cool. Wait, what...?"

"These leaves give the tea a rather unusual flavor. And I think I'm beginning to see... flowers in my eyes. Dear Farmer, are you sure you've worked the tea leaves properly?" Caroline, your tea made the Farmer's eyes see a white little man dancing on the edge of your mug. So don't go blabbing about the Farmer's homemade tea. They certainly know the basics of herbology and alchemy, and know how to brew the most complex elixirs. So don't even-

Given Dwarf's suspiciousness, they didn't take any medallions or elixirs from the Farmer at first, because it could have turned out to be a devious plan by the shadow people. What if there's poison in the bottle? Or the medallion reveals their location to the enemy? It takes a long time before they can trust the Farmer, and later they have something of a bartering relationship with potions (the Farmer gives Dwarf elixirs out of the goodness of his heart, but Dwarf insists that the Farmer needs to get something of equal value in return).

Hmm! Why would George want this useless trinket, even if it was free? So they could sit on a shelf and gather dust? Farmer, he doesn't believe in all that focus-pocus, so he doesn't need those strange and ugly bracelets and amulets that also smell weird. A spellcaster? Don't be absurd.

Farmers were so kind to come and visit, and they also brought some goodies: ripe berries, homemade cottage cheese... And they even brought George some ointment for his bad knees, how nice of them! And though it's not clear if Evelyn believes the ointment is magical, and if she knows that Farmers can cast spells and communicate with animals. The granny is just glad that such a kind and caring young person came to their house, and without cookies, which just had time to cool down, Evelyn will not let them go.

A lonely, city-weary man who had been hiding their magical talent was finally able to escape the suffocating clutches of a mega corporation to drop everything and move to the middle of nowhere where they could find their happiness and calling... Yes, Elliott is definitely sure that this would be the perfect story for his new novella. The writer was so taken by his own muse that he wasn't even surprised by the fact that the Farmers, in addition to caring for crops and livestock, can do magic and brew elixirs. Novella now, questions later!

Morris has absolutely no time for nonsense, why did the Farmer give him some strange liquid in a bottle? A cure for back pain? Very funny, but he wasn't born yesterday to believe that nonsense. Except that Farmer's curiosity and puppy eyes made Joja's manager take a sip.... And no more back pain! Hmm, interesting... Farmer, how about a contract to sell this miracle liquid?

_________________________________________

Note: I hope I didn't deviate from the main question because I couldn't decide if the people of Stardew Valley believe the farmer is a wizard/sorcerer/witch by default, or if some know and some don't? And how are talismans and potions even viewed from their perspective (Shane, at least, doesn't believe in magic, judging by the canon quotes). I'm open to feedback! 😃

[eee-lordy]

Number 13 please? I love sickfics!

here is a short little sick/comfort blurb for ya 😍

"I don't feel so good."

───※ ·❆· ※───

Jacob was bounding across the tarmac, suitcases flying behind him. After one long movie shoot and a never ending press tour he was finally home.

You stood giddy, watching him step closer and closer to car you waited outside of. Ever since he left to film, Jacob phoned every day, dreaming up plans with you for when he landed home again. There were countless dinners and dates and trips he couldn't wait to make happen with you, and it was finally time.

"My love!" You called, when he was finally in ear shot. Jacob halted his luggage by the tires of your car and swept you into an embrace that sent your heart fluttering. You hugged him back and let him lift your feet off the ground and rushed to stand and face him when you registered his sniffles.

"Miss me that much?!" You cooed. Jacob's eyes were red and misty, and then he spoke.

"Well duh. But... I don't feel so good." The poor guys voice was worn and you could tell now that there was a pallor to his face.

"Oh babe, come on let's get you home." You pet his face and watched as he grumbled in frustration, still keeping a hold of you.

"But we have reservations tonight. I really want to take you out. It's been too long-" Jacob whined and sniffled.

"Hey, s'okay. We can still make up for lost time without big plans. Don't argue! Get in the car, you poor tired thing." With a nudge, you directed your boy to head to the passenger seat while you snatched his luggage before he could reach it.

///

That night you whipped up a cocktail of cold remedies, drew a bath that was probably too hot, and dotted on Jacob's every move.

"S'just a cold love, I'm not a cripple or something." Jacob laughed a stuffy chuckle as you presented him with a warm pair of joggers and an old concert tee.

"Even if you weren't sick I'd still be all over you silly. I've waited months to trail behind you like a lost puppy. Months!"

"God I'm so glad you're who I've got to come home too. Once I don't feel on the verge of constantly passing out, you're getting this treatment times a billion." Your sweet boy ended his declaration with a vicious cough.

He'd pushed himself so hard this last handleful if months, to get his film finished and promoted and get the hell home. It was no wonder he caught a little something at the tail end of his never ending adventure.

You saw Jacob off to bed, tucking yourself in at his side and insisting he save stories of his time away for the morning.

///

The next day you snuck to the kitchen to cook up a big breakfast, letting him sleep away the sick and relishing in the simple fact that he was home at long last.

When Jacob finally padded into the main living space he tried insisting he felt much better, beginning a speech about taking you on a date.

"Absolutely not." You waved off the offer and sat the tall guy down. Neither of you were going anywhere until the red left his eyes and the sniffles stopped entirely. You ordered takeaway and kept Jacob on a steady cup of hot hot tea.

After a day of lounging, he seemed almost back to normal. Though you were hesitant to offer, you said "If you're still this lively by tomorrow night, I'll go out with you."

"Swear?" Jacob rose a brow, grinning in anticipation. You held out a pinkie as if to promise. You weren't long up, cozy in bed with your beloved boy, another early night.

And then... you woke up coughing. Awe fuck.

You tried to play it off. Like a passing tickle in your throat. But soon you were sat up sniveling away, much to your dismay. All your racket woke up the man at your side. And he registered your condition right off.

Jacob let out a low chuckle of surprise, a smile growing wider as he sat up to reach out to you.

"Jacob Elordi are you excited that I'm sick?"

"Of course not." He responded, planting a firm kiss to your head. "But I am looking forward to taking as much care of you as you've taken care of me the past two days."

You cooed and cuddled closer to his side, feeling weaker now that the sickness was unavoidably addressed.

"Don't you dare move. It's my turn now, my love." Jacob smiled, locking those beautiful dark eyes on yours before getting up to follow in your footsteps. Cooking and cleaning and laying out your clothes so you didn't have to lift a finger.

You were bummed to miss another night out. But you were so damn glad Jacob didn't let a little sickness ruin the time the pair of you had been waiting to spend connecting again after so long.

───※ ·❆· ※───

[atinystraynstay]

Anything For You - Huening Kai

Synopsis: College was full of new experiences. For Kai, that meant stepping out of his comfort zone. He was the type of guy who was not used to the attention placed on him. Yet, you took all of his attention. Somehow, you agreed to come over to help Kai with a problem of his.

Pairing: Virgin!Huening Kai x fem reader - MINORS DNI

Genre: Slight angst (nervous, shy Kai), college crush, friends to lovers? definitely friends with benefits situation blossoming

Warnings: mentions of hookups, sex talk, mentions of male masturbation, nudity, fingering (f. receiving), unprotected vaginal penetration, orgasms, soft smut, losing virginity

Word Count: 4.4k

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"Hey, are you free tonight? I could use your help with something."

Kai's heart was pounding in his chest. Never in a million years did he except you to actually agree. In his mind, he felt foolish for asking but he also felt overjoyed and nervous. He was a wreck in the best sense.

Coming to college has been a lot of firsts for Huening Kai. It was really his first time being away from home, first time going to a college party, first time getting drunk, and so many others. Yet, there was still one thing that he was looking to cross off his bucket list.

After freshman year, he moved into a townhouse apartment with his closest friends - Yeonjun, Soobin, Beomgyu, and Taehyun. They were the ones that helped Kai navigate his new independent life. They were always willing to say yes when some new activity came into the young boy's mind. They kind of saw themselves as Kai's big brothers.

His four older friends really went to great extents to make sure Kai felt comfortable. And he always felt like he could be himself around the guys. Until one conversation came up. "So Taehyun, did you end up bringing that girl home from the club?"

All the boys were gathered around the living room, watching Kai and Boomgyu play video games. However, Beomgyu's interest took a turn once he heard Yeonjun's question. Beating Kai could wait because right now, he wanted to overhear the details of Taehyun's late night adventure. Kai whined in disappointment as the other three shushed him, eager for a response.

What was the big deal anyways?

Soon, the man that captured all their attention emerged from the kitchen. He held a water bottle in his hand, a proud smirk curling on his lips. "You know, a gentleman never kisses and tells." "And since were you a gentleman in bed?" Soobin scoffed. "We share a wall," he groaned. "Touche."

All the boys laughed at the little exchange between Soobin and Taehyun. It was always in good fun to rile each there up. Honestly, it was just proof of how deep their friendship runs amongst the five of them. It was a brotherhood.

"At least you've been able to get someone to come home with you. I feel like I always strike out at the clubs lately," Yeonjun muttered, arms crossed over my chest. "So is that why I constantly hear your Tinder going off?" Beomgyu laughed. "And what's your excuse, Gyu?" "I'd much rather take a girl out for a meal before eating her out," he said confidently.

The group groaned at his response. Soobin and Yeonjun made disgusted faces as they were getting too many details about their friend's sex life.

Kai felt like he wanted to sink deep into the beanbag chair until it swallowed him whole. Why was this the topic of conversation? Why did it matter how they were having sex?

Soobin seemed to notice Kai's discomfort. In the group, Soobin sometimes was the peacemaker. He was there to offer advice and be a place of support. Sure, most friends disclosed their personal woes in their lives and intimate details. But he could sense from the younger boy that he wished the topic switched already.

"What about you, Kai? Any new girls lately?"

Kai's eyes widened. He had his eyes locked on the paused video game, internally praying he didn't hear Taehyun correctly. All eyes were suddenly on Kai, who felt like he was going to be suffocated by the sudden spotlight. "Well, I know he likes y/n," Soobin tried helping.

Kai shot daggers towards Soobin at that response. He was already anticipating the responses that were going to come from the other three. He knew Soobin meant well, but god, there was no way he could fend off the three predators surrounding him.

"Oh right! You guys had a study date last week. Did you get to study her anatomy up close and personal?" Beomgyu teased.

SMACK

Yeonjun smacked him lightly in the back of the head at the corny response. Soobin and Taehyun stifled their laughter, knowing Taehyun was going to seek retaliation at some point. Yet, the quick disruption soon stopped and they looked at Kai. They weren't going to let him off the hook that easily. "Uh, well, you see." Come on, Kai. Think of something to save yourself. "Don't tell me you're still a virgin," Taehyun teased.

Crickets. It was so silent you could hear a pin drop. Kai slipped down into the beanbag so his entire back was resting against it before hiding his face in his hands. This was not the way he was wanting anyone to find out. Frankly, he ever wanted anyone to find out! Expecting the vultures to rip him apart, he was still met with silence. There was always a comeback. There was always words exchanged, and laughs followed. He didn't know what was worse - the sudden silence amongst the five of them or waiting for the comeback to strike.

Slowly, Kai uncovered his face to see his four friends staring at him. They were almost at a lost for words themselves. "God, we're all terrible influences," Soobin groaned. Laughter finally filled the room, including coming from Kai. He could always rely on Soobin to fix things.

The conversation turned to try to help Kai, wondering if he had any desire to have sex. Of course he did, but he felt clueless as to where to start. That night, the boys helped build up Kai's confidence. The four older friends were determined to help Kai's sex life.

They gave him pointers on how to approach the topic. Kai's biggest concern was coming on too strong, not wanting to offend anyone. That's just one of the many qualities they all adored about his friend - he was considerate. I guess that's why they were surprised he hasn't gotten laid yet. He just seemed to attract girls left and right.

But there was one girl who's had his attention. Nobody else has been able to push the barrier he put up as he only had eyes for you. No woman on campus compared to you, so why would Kai go out of his way to have sex with a random person when it might get back to you?

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You and Kai met during one of those lame icebreakers they make you do during freshman year. It was at a get-to-know-your-RA event. A mandatory event. Kai was at least grateful this one time for it because he got to cross paths with you. The two of you lived in the same residence hall. Your suite was towards the end of the hall while his suite was towards the front. Another thing he was grateful for because it meant he had a greater chance of running into you.

Kai was captivated by your personality at first. You didn't seem like the type of girl that wanted to fit in. Not that you ever tried to go against the status quo. You just seemed more confident in yourself which allowed you to explore your own interests without trying to conform to societal acceptance. It truly left him in awe of how sure of yourself you were.

It was so easy to fall for you. Hell, you basically had a line of guys waiting for the chance.

The two of you didn't get close until English seminar sophomore year of college. You recognized him from your freshman door the previous year when he saw you as the woman of his dreams. After 12 months since the initial interaction, he finally got your number to work on a group assignment.

The friendship began to blossom the more you hung out. You two would try to study together, but often got sidetracked in the library and got nothing accomplished. Those were some of Kai's favorite moments where you two were try to keep quiet in the library, not wanting to disturb those actually trying to be productive as you broke out into giggles.

You infiltrated every thought of his, day and night. During the day, he wondered if you were okay, what you were up to. He tried so desperately to hangout with you whenever he could. At night, you were the one he thought about when he had his cock in his fist. He thought of the way that every shirt looked like it was painted on you, showing off your chest deliciously.

Yet, he saw you as a close friend. He never wanted to jeopardize the friendship. But after encouragement from his best friends, he had to take the risk.

He couldn't believe you actually said yes.

For the past hour, Kai has been frantically trying to get his room together. He shoved all his dirty clothes in the closet, made his bed, and lit a candle to make sure it smelled good. God, the things he would do for you.

Ding.

He glanced towards the foot of his bed to see his phone light up. His heart raced seeing your name flash on the home screen. "Kai, please come open the door! I'm cold!"

Shit. He quickly responded to your message so you knew he was on his way. He dropped his phone on the bed before rushing downstairs to get you. He ignored all the eager stares as the boys were gathered in the living room, watching TV but also wanting to give enough space for Kai upstairs. They just also wanted to catch a glimpse of the show before it got started behind closed doors.

He unlocked the top lock of the door and opened it for you. Your cheeks were a bit red from the dipping temperatures of early January. Yet, your hair was perfectly curled, You were wearing a pair of grey sweatpants, being seen from the black winter jacket you were bundled up in. How could someone look so adorable?

"Finally," you teased. You stepped into the house, hugging Kai and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

From behind him, you heard the four boys cheer on their friend. You giggled playfully at their antics even though Kai was groaning. As you got close to Kai, you were quickly introduced to his four best friends, so this was no surprise to you. "Hello stalkers," you called out, referring to how they were spying on you two.

They all muttered a greeting before trying to turn their attention to the TV. If only it had been on then maybe they could have gotten away with it.

Your attention turned back to Kai. As your hands warmed up, you were able to free yourself from the confines of your winter jacket. As it unzipped, it revealed the tight black ribbed long sleeve you had underneath. It shoved off your midriff a bit too. Adorable and so alluring.

"Come on, let's go," you whispered. Kai cleared his throat, realizing he hadn't properly spoken to you since your arrival. Yet, he didn't get a chance. You took hold of his hand, slipping your fingers in between before leading him up the staircase as if you were the one who actually lived here. Once again, the boys downstairs made sure to be very vocal about their approval.

As you approached the top of the staircase, he noticed your body still. Time for him to take charge. He tugged on your hand a bit before he took the lead. "I got it from here, y/n," he chuckled. "Ah, he speaks," you teased before squeezing his hand affectionately. Kai was grateful to be in front of you so you couldn't see his red cheeks.

Soon, you were in his room. He allowed you to enter first before closing the door behind him. His thumb pushed the lock button before he slowly followed you into the room, eyeing you. He both opened you felt comfortable in his room but he was eagerly taking you in.

You were a work of art in his eyes. Your hair was flowing down your back in loose waves. He adored the little freckles and moles that covered your cheeks. His imagination was starting to get the better of him as he began to wonder what you were hiding underneath your clothes.

However, you brought him back to reality as you grabbed his hand. "Kai, sweetie, wanna come join me in the moment?" You asked softly.

He didn't have to be told twice. Kai walked over towards the bed, going to sit towards the front of his bed. Seeing that he followed, you grinned. This was going to be an interesting night.

You slipped your hand out of Kai's so he could comfortably get on his bed. He ran his hands through his hair as he situated himself. He was undoubtedly nervous but also very excited. Dreams really do come true.

"So, what do-" he froze as his eyes finally looked up at you. His jaw fell slightly open to see you had already stripped down to your panties and underwear. He never thought he would get the infamous y/n in his bedroom. Let alone get you half naked.

Seeing your curves for the first time, he was taking in the sight. He was mesmerized but he way your bra was holding up your breasts yet it looked like you were about to spill out of it. His mouth watered seeing your panties hug your hips.

His hands reached out for you. You couldn't help but giggle and slip your hands into his. Kai always took great care of you, so this was no surprise. You allowed him to pull you onto his bed. With his back against his headboard, you straddled and settled into his lap. You let go of his hands so they could rest on his shoulders, stabilizing yourself. His hands resorted to your hips. "Kai, can you take off my bra?"

He nodded his head so fast, you thought it was going to pop off his head. You lead forward to press gentle kisses into the side of his face, working your way down his jawline. You followed it to his neck. All the while, his hands moved from your hips to your upper back. You shivered slightly at the feeling of his fingers, a bit cold yet light. It caused goosebumps to rise on your skin. You could also feel how hard he was becoming against your inner thigh.

Your lips moved down to his neck. Slow and open-mouthed. He groaned lightly at the feeling. His fingers fumbled for the clasp. You thought it was adorable as he seemed to lose focus the moment his breathing hitched when you kissed a particular spot on his neck.

Slowly, you leaned back. Winking at him, you helped guide his hands in the removal of your bra. You let the straps fall down as it was loosened, eventually falling into his lap.

"Like what you see?" You asked softly. His eyes were large as he looked at your breasts. He wasn't even trying to be discreet about it. He couldn't get over that after years of fantasizing about you, he was finally getting to experience what it is like to be intimate. Especially with you.

"Y/n, I fucking love what I see." "You know, I would feel a lot more comfortable if you took off some clothes too."

Of course. He would do anything you asked of him. He began to slip off the hoodie from his body while your fingers began to play with the string of his own sweatpants. Just enough to drive him desperate. But that wasn't hard to do, as Kai as been lusting for you for a while now.

His shirt joined your clothing on the floor. You first lifted your own hips so you could slip your panties off. Once you had loosened his own sweatpants, he pushed them down his thighs. You assisted in discarding his pants by shoving them down his legs so he could kick them off.

You were a bit surprised to see Kai had no boxers on. His cock immediately slapping against his abdomen. Honestly, you weren't sure what to be expecting out of Kai when it comes to his cock, but you weren't disappointed. If anything, it made you a bit eager to have him inside of you.

Kai seemed to be at a loss for words. His jaw hung open once again. You couldn't help but giggle as you scooted back up into his lap. He groaned at the feeling of your exposed pussy against him, feeling how warm and wet you were. Your fingers gently rested on his chin, pushing up. Your other hand ran down the length of his arm.

"Baby boy," you cooed. "Close your mouth. You might catch flies." "I can't help it. Fuck, you're so beautiful. Better than I could ever imagine." "So you think about me while you masturbate?" You asked, a bit of a playful tone in your voice.

His eyes shot to yours, away from your breasts that seemed to bounce with each breath you took. How the fuck did you know that?

You allowed your hand that was on his arm to slip down gently, making sure your feather was light. "So, lesson number one. You always want to make sure the girl you hook up with his wet enough."

"Y/n, you're cute. I've watched porn before. I don't need a step by step tutorial," he whined out.

You giggled and nodded. Kai decided to take the initiative. This was practically a one-in-a-lifetime experience. He didn't want to look back on his night and instantly regret it. With your hand guiding his, he instantly moved his hand to push your thighs a bit more apart.

His fingers at first ran up your inner thigh. This time, your breathing hitched which helped his confidence boost. He liked knowing you were enjoying yourself, even if the two of you were just getting started. Slowly, his fingers ran up until he go to touch your pussy.

At the first touch, he honest to God thought he was going to cum. You were so wet already. His fingers ran up and down your pussy gently, not wanting to be too rough. You shivered at the feeling. A soft whimper left your lips as you felt his calloused fingertips from playing guitar against your pussy. "Kai, can you please finger me?" You whimpered. "H-How many fingers?" He asked nervously.

You giggled at him. You found him too adorable but he didn't want you to see him as adorable. He wanted you to be as enchanted by him as you. Kai's biggest fear was you ending up regretting this night.

Deciding not to wait for your instructions, he slipped two fingers into you. Your jaw dropped at the feeling, tilting your head back. "Yes, Kai, baby." The sound of the petname made his cock twitch. It was innocent yet coming from your lips meant everything. He thrusted his fingers into you slowly at first until he realized he was yearning to hear you whimper. He decided to try something out he watched in a porn video once. His fingers curled inward which caused you to moan out. Perfect.

He gently kept curling and uncurling his fingers. This time, your jaw dropped and your eyes fluttered shut. Pleasure coursed through your body. He spread his two fingers, groaning himself now as he felt how tight you were. God, you were perfect to him.

In response, your hand on his face moved to grip the hair on the back of the hair. That night, Kai learned that he loved the feeling of his hair being touched. Or maybe it was just the feeling of your fingers in his hair.

"Faster, please," you begged softly. His heart trembled before abiding by your request. He began moving his fingers faster and a bit deeper. His knuckles are now in your pussy. Your pussy was practically sucking in his whole hand. But this wasn't how you wanted to cum. You didn't want to get too overstimulated and to enjoy the feeling of Kai fucking you.

Your hand moved to rest on his, squeezing to try to get him to stop his motions. Afraid he had hurt you, his eyes shot up to your face. "Y/n, are you ok? Did I hurt you? Did I go too fast? Fuck, I'm so sorry." He was a blabbering mess, which you found endearing. Your heart swelled as you nodded. That just made him panic even more as he didn't know what you were nodding yes to. "Kai, sweetie, I'm okay," you promised him. Your tone was light, breathless from the pleasure coursing through your body as your pussy walls indeed were squeezing Kai's fingers. He wanted to believe you but he was still hesitant. "I just need your dick inside me, please."

There was no doubting what you said that time. He slowly moved his fingers away from your pussy. He eyed down at your pussy, almost lost in the moment. He noticed the way his fingers glistened due to your wetness causing his dick to twitch with attention.

You couldn't help but take matters into your hands. You just needed him. One of your hands moved back to his shoulder, using it as leverage and also squeezing it reassuringly. Your other hand took a hold of his hand, which sent Kai into a moaning mess. Your touch was light, yet so warm and so heavenly. He could never jerk himself off after experiencing your touch.

You gently moved Kai's cock until his tip pressed against your pussy, both of you craving the closeness. His cock wanting to slip in, but he respected that you were in charge here. He didn't want to make any sudden moves that could risk ending this right before you two get started.

Before Kai could even speak, even check in to see if you were comfortable, you slid down onto his length. You both moaned out at the sensation. Kai has never experienced something so magical. Your pussy lips wrapped around his cock, enveloping him. You, on the other hand, never felt someone stretch you out so deliciously. "Fuck Kai," you breathed out.

Kai trembled at the feeling of your pussy walls around his cock. So warm. So wet. So tight. He's never experienced something so heavenly before. If this was the way he perished, with your pussy clinging onto his cock, he'd die a happy man.

Cautiously, you began to move your hips up and down his cock. You were testing the waters. Not wanting to overstimulate the poor guy, especially since this was his first time. Yet, you were getting needier by the passing moment as his cock was stationary inside of you.

His head rolled back, fingers digging into your hips. You were at his mercy. He was overwhelmed in the best way by feeling how you moved up and down his cock.

And to you, you were mesmerized by the sight in front of you. His chest was rising and falling. His curly brown hair was sticking to his forehead from being so worked up. He had to close his eyes for a moment, resting his eyelashes against his soft cheeks. You've never been with a man who seemed that captivated by you, both physically and emotionally. It made your heart swell.

You whimpered loudly as Kai reached the parts of you no man has ever before. You moaned out his name which seemed to make him harder, even if that was possible. He tried helping you move up and down his cock a bit faster, wanting to make sure you both were feeling good.

"H-How is it, baby?" He asked nervously, biting on his lower lip. You wanted to melt and cry from how adorable he was in such a heated moment.

Both of your hands cupped his face. Your thumbs caressed his flushed cheeks, gazing into his eyes. "So fucking perfect, Kai," you breathed out.

You normally weren't the type to take the lead like this. But something about Kai screamed that you should. You saw it as the opportunity to make him feel the best he's ever felt. Deep down, you've always recognized that Huening Kai viewed you in a special light. Getting to see him so vulnerable just sent your heart racing.

His eyes weekend as he felt his cock twitching furiously and that tight feeling in his abdomen. He didn't want this moment to dent. He wanted to die buried in your sweet pussy. "Y/n," he whimpered. "I-I'm sorry, I'm close. I can hold off if you need me to," he tried rationalizing. How cute.

Shaking your head, you whimpered as your walls got tighter around him. You were there with him. You were here in the moment with him. "N-No Kai, sweetie, it's ok. We'll cum together," you whimpered. He looking all over, almost as if he was trying to figure out what to do as you didn't stop your hips. Taking note, you giggled and leaned forward. "It's okay to cum in me, Kai. I have an IUD," you murmured, kissing the corner of his lips.

He groaned hearing you. His grip tightened as he began to thrust up into you, wanting to bring you as much pleasure as possible. With him so deep inside of you, you felt like you could see the stars. There was nothing better than this.

Soon, both of you felt that feeling in your abdomens snap. You cried out in pleasure as Kai moaned out, his forehead moving to rest on your shoulder. Your toes curled, body shook. He was trembling as he held you close. Hot spurts of his cum coating your insides.

The heavy breathing from the two of you filled the room. His cock started to soften inside of you but you two couldn't bring yourselves to move. Your hand moved up to play with the curls on the back of his head while his fingers ran up and down your body soothingly, almost as if he was trying to help the tremors out of your system.

"Thank you so much," he whispered against your skin.

You couldn't help but giggle. Your lips found his forehead, leaving a lingering kiss. "What are friends for."

[evenmyhivemindisempty]

Was thinking "I'd love to smoke a joint with this man" about Boyd and now I'm curious to see your ranking of best to worst Boyd chars to smoke a joint with >:3

Ty Shaw: Ty is undeniably the best of the boys to smoke with! He’s super laid back and endlessly fun, and always has the best music recommendations to chill out listening to! He’s down for staying indoors or going outside too - whatever you want! He’s happy to watch TV, but if you want an adventure, he’s got plenty of hookups for parties and he knows some excellent nature walks perfect for a stoned hike!

Eli Klaber: He’s actually a very good time! He’s got a good attitude when he’s high - he’s still bouncy, but the weed mellows him out to a pleasant level, and he’s very much down for whatever you are. Yeah, that movie/song/activity suggestion sounds great! Sure, pineapple on pizza sounds like a plan!

Steve Murphy: Steve is - shockingly - a lot of fun when he’s high. Weed radically reduces his anxiety level and general uptightness; he’s loose and giggly, although the downside is he starts thinking he’s *hilarious* and also stops being able to moderate his volume control.

Clement Mansell: He’s largely fine. He’s prone to occasionally going on self-indulgent tangents about music, philosophy, and art; some of these are genuinely fascinating to listen to, some of these get exasperating fast. He’s curated quite a few genuinely good albums to listen to when high - but he’s such a control freak about the music, he is NOT gonna take any suggestions.

The Corinthian: He’s… mostly okay. He’s relaxed and sociable, but he’ll also start getting weird *fast*. He’ll say off-putting things, make uncomfortable jokes, and ask borderline intrusive questions. He’s down to give you full control of the remote, though. And weirdly? He sometimes likes to bake when he’s high, and he’s pretty good at it.

Cap Hatfield: He’s a little twitchy but mostly quiet and unobtrusive - he fades into the background to the point you’ll completely forget he exists until you catch him crouched in your kitchen like a raccoon, scarfing down all your snacks.

Donald Pierce: Once in a while he’s a good time, but usually he’s prone to bursts of sudden paranoia, and he seesaws between being excessively chatty and unnervingly subdued. He also puts his foot in his mouth *so* often when he’s high. He has a habit of offending pretty much everyone he smokes with at one point or another!

Danny Maguire: Danny doesn’t chip in even a few bucks for the weed, but he’s got no compunctions about smoking *way* more than his fair share. He peer pressures you into getting uncomfortably high, and then tries to convince you to take a few lines of coke, too. He’s actually pretty jovial when he’s high, but he laughs like a hyena and he likes bragging about all his cool mafia connections.

Quinn McKenna: And coming in at last place, it’s Quinn McKenna!!! Never put this man around weed. There’s gonna be a concerning 30-45 minutes of him staring at the wall with his face screwed up, utterly ignoring everything you say, and then all of a sudden he’s commandeered the TV and put it on the local news or Cartoon Network. Alright, you might be thinking, CN isn’t bad at all - but you will not get a chance to really watch it, because as soon as Quinn gets settled he’s turning to you and diving into an intense and one-sided conversation about that military history podcast he’s been listening to, or the origins of the modern rifle, or his skeet shooting scores. Emily actually threatened to tell his CO he was getting high if he didn’t stop borrowing her vape pen.