#I'VE TRIED TO POST THIS FIVE (5) TIMES ALREADY

[pxrenikxart]

helen brand

me and my brother already rewatched glass onion 4 times but the scene where Helen destroys everything still hits the same

[tinystepsforward]

autocrattic (more matt shenanigans, not tumblr this time)

I am almost definitely not the right person for this writeup, but I'm closer than most people on here, so here goes! This is all open-source tech drama, and I take my time laying out the context, but the short version is: Matt tried to extort another company, who immediately posted receipts, and now he's refusing to log off again. The long version is... long.

If you don't need software context, scroll down/find the "ok tony that's enough. tell me what's actually happening" heading, or just go read the pink sections. Or look at this PDF.

the background

So. Matt's original Good Idea was starting WordPress with fellow developer Mike Little in 2003, which is free and open-source software (FOSS) that was originally just for blogging, but now powers lots of websites that do other things. In particular, Automattic acquired WooCommerce a long time ago, which is free online store software you can run on WordPress.

FOSS is... interesting. It's a world that ultimately is powered by people who believe deeply that information and resources should be free, but often have massive blind spots (for example, Wikipedia's consistently had issues with bias, since no amount of "anyone can edit" will overcome systemic bias in terms of who has time to edit or is not going to be driven away by the existing contributor culture). As with anything else that people spend thousands of hours doing online, there's drama. As with anything else that's technically free but can be monetized, there are:

Heaps of companies and solo developers who profit off WordPress themes, plugins, hosting, and other services;

Conflicts between volunteer contributors and for-profit contributors;

Annoying founders who get way too much credit for everything the project has become.

the WordPress ecosystem

A project as heavily used as WordPress (some double-digit percentage of the Internet uses WP. I refuse to believe it's the 43% that Matt claims it is, but it's a pretty large chunk) can't survive just on the spare hours of volunteers, especially in an increasingly monetised world where its users demand functional software, are less and less tech or FOSS literate, and its contributors have no fucking time to build things for that userbase.

Matt runs Automattic, which is a privately-traded, for-profit company. The free software is run by the WordPress Foundation, which is technically completely separate (wordpress.org). The main products Automattic offers are WordPress-related: WordPress.com, a host which was designed to be beginner-friendly; Jetpack, a suite of plugins which extend WordPress in a whole bunch of ways that may or may not make sense as one big product; WooCommerce, which I've already mentioned. There's also WordPress VIP, which is the fancy bespoke five-digit-plus option for enterprise customers. And there's Tumblr, if Matt ever succeeds in putting it on WordPress. (Every Tumblr or WordPress dev I know thinks that's fucking ridiculous and impossible. Automattic's hiring for it anyway.)

Automattic devotes a chunk of its employees toward developing Core, which is what people in the WordPress space call WordPress.org, the free software. This is part of an initiative called Five for the Future — 5% of your company's profits off WordPress should go back into making the project better. Many other companies don't do this.

There are lots of other companies in the space. GoDaddy, for example, barely gives back in any way (and also sucks). WP Engine is the company this drama is about. They don't really contribute to Core. They offer relatively expensive WordPress hosting, as well as providing a series of other WordPress-related products like LocalWP (local site development software), Advanced Custom Fields (the easiest way to set up advanced taxonomies and other fields when making new types of posts. If you don't know what this means don't worry about it), etc.

Anyway. Lots of strong personalities. Lots of for-profit companies. Lots of them getting invested in, or bought by, private equity firms.

Matt being Matt, tech being tech

As was said repeatedly when Matt was flipping out about Tumblr, all of the stuff happening at Automattic is pretty normal tech company behaviour. Shit gets worse. People get less for their money. WordPress.com used to be a really good place for people starting out with a website who didn't need "real" WordPress — for $48 a year on the Personal plan, you had really limited features (no plugins or other customisable extensions), but you had a simple website with good SEO that was pretty secure, relatively easy to use, and 24-hour access to Happiness Engineers (HEs for short. Bad job title. This was my job) who could walk you through everything no matter how bad at tech you were. Then Personal plan users got moved from chat to emails only. Emails started being responded to by contractors who didn't know as much as HEs did and certainly didn't get paid half as well. Then came AI, and the mandate for HEs to try to upsell everyone things they didn't necessarily need. (This is the point at which I quit.)

But as was said then as well, most tech CEOs don't publicly get into this kind of shitfight with their users. They're horrid tyrants, but they don't do it this publicly.

ok tony that's enough. tell me what's actually happening

WordCamp US, one of the biggest WordPress industry events of the year, is the backdrop for all this. It just finished.

There are.... a lot of posts by Matt across multiple platforms because, as always, he can't log off. But here's the broad strokes.

Sep 17

Matt publishes a wanky blog post about companies that profit off open source without giving back. It targets a specific company, WP Engine.

Compare the Five For the Future pages from Automattic and WP Engine, two companies that are roughly the same size with revenue in the ballpark of half a billion. These pledges are just a proxy and aren’t perfectly accurate, but as I write this, Automattic has 3,786 hours per week (not even counting me!), and WP Engine has 47 hours. WP Engine has good people, some of whom are listed on that page, but the company is controlled by Silver Lake, a private equity firm with $102 billion in assets under management. Silver Lake doesn’t give a dang about your Open Source ideals. It just wants a return on capital. So it’s at this point that I ask everyone in the WordPress community to vote with your wallet. Who are you giving your money to? Someone who’s going to nourish the ecosystem, or someone who’s going to frack every bit of value out of it until it withers?

(It's worth noting here that Automattic is funded in part by BlackRock, who Wikipedia calls "the world's largest asset manager".)

Sep 20 (WCUS final day)

WP Engine puts out a blog post detailing their contributions to WordPress.

Matt devotes his keynote/closing speech to slamming WP Engine.

He also implies people inside WP Engine are sending him information.

For the people sending me stuff from inside companies, please do not do it on your work device. Use a personal phone, Signal with disappearing messages, etc. I have a bunch of journalists happy to connect you with as well. #wcus — Twitter I know private equity and investors can be brutal (read the book Barbarians at the Gate). Please let me know if any employee faces firing or retaliation for speaking up about their company's participation (or lack thereof) in WordPress. We'll make sure it's a big public deal and that you get support. — Tumblr

Matt also puts out an offer live at WordCamp US:

“If anyone of you gets in trouble for speaking up in favor of WordPress and/or open source, reach out to me. I’ll do my best to help you find a new job.” — source tweet, RTed by Matt

He also puts up a poll asking the community if WP Engine should be allowed back at WordCamps.

Sep 21

Matt writes a blog post on the WordPress.org blog (the official project blog!): WP Engine is not WordPress.

He opens this blog post by claiming his mom was confused and thought WP Engine was official.

The blog post goes on about how WP Engine disabled post revisions (which is a pretty normal thing to do when you need to free up some resources), therefore being not "real" WordPress. (As I said earlier, WordPress.com disables most features for Personal and Premium plans. Or whatever those plans are called, they've been renamed like 12 times in the last few years. But that's a different complaint.)

Sep 22: More bullshit on Twitter. Matt makes a Reddit post on r/Wordpress about WP Engine that promptly gets deleted. Writeups start to come out:

Search Engine Journal: WordPress Co-Founder Mullenweg Sparks Backlash

TechCrunch: Matt Mullenweg calls WP Engine a ‘cancer to WordPress’ and urges community to switch providers

Sep 23 onward

Okay, time zones mean I can't effectively sequence the rest of this.

Matt defends himself on Reddit, casually mentioning that WP Engine is now suing him.

Also here's a decent writeup from someone involved with the community that may be of interest.

WP Engine drops the full PDF of their cease and desist, which includes screenshots of Matt apparently threatening them via text.

Twitter link | Direct PDF link

This PDF includes some truly fucked texts where Matt appears to be trying to get WP Engine to pay him money unless they want him to tell his audience at WCUS that they're evil.

Matt, after saying he's been sued and can't talk about it, hosts a Twitter Space and talks about it for a couple hours.

He also continues to post on Reddit, Twitter, and on the Core contributor Slack.

Here's a comment where he says WP Engine could have avoided this by paying Automattic 8% of their revenue.

Another, 20 hours ago, where he says he's being downvoted by "trolls, probably WPE employees"

At some point, Matt updates the WordPress Foundation trademark policy. I am 90% sure this was him — it's not legalese and makes no fucking sense to single out WP Engine.

Old text: The abbreviation “WP” is not covered by the WordPress trademarks and you are free to use it in any way you see fit. New text: The abbreviation “WP” is not covered by the WordPress trademarks, but please don’t use it in a way that confuses people. For example, many people think WP Engine is “WordPress Engine” and officially associated with WordPress, which it’s not. They have never once even donated to the WordPress Foundation, despite making billions of revenue on top of WordPress.

Sep 25: Automattic puts up their own legal response.

anyway this fucking sucks

This is bigger than anything Matt's done before. I'm so worried about my friends who're still there. The internal ramifications have... been not great so far, including that Matt's naturally being extra gung-ho about "you're either for me or against me and if you're against me then don't bother working your two weeks".

Despite everything, I like WordPress. (If you dig into this, you'll see plenty of people commenting about blocks or Gutenberg or React other things they hate. Unlike many of the old FOSSheads, I actually also think Gutenberg/the block editor was a good idea, even if it was poorly implemented.)

I think that the original mission — to make it so anyone can spin up a website that's easy enough to use and blog with — is a good thing. I think, despite all the ways being part of FOSS communities since my early teens has led to all kinds of racist, homophobic and sexual harm for me and for many other people, that free and open-source software is important.

So many people were already burning out of the project. Matt has been doing this for so long that those with long memories can recite all the ways he's wrecked shit back a decade or more. Most of us are exhausted and need to make money to live. The world is worse than it ever was.

Social media sucks worse and worse, and this was a world in which people missed old webrings, old blogs, RSS readers, the world where you curated your own whimsical, unpaid corner of the Internet. I started actually actively using my own WordPress blog this year, and I've really enjoyed it.

And people don't want to deal with any of this.

The thing is, Matt's right about one thing: capital is ruining free open-source software. What he's wrong about is everything else: the idea that WordPress.com isn't enshittifying (or confusing) at a much higher rate than WP Engine, the idea that WP Engine or Silver Lake are the only big players in the field, the notion that he's part of the solution and not part of the problem.

But he's started a battle where there are no winners but the lawyers who get paid to duke it out, and all the volunteers who've survived this long in an ecosystem increasingly dominated by big money are giving up and leaving.

Anyway if you got this far, consider donating to someone on gazafunds.com. It'll take much less time than reading this did.

[psyduc]

pasta a la erik karlsson

THE INGREDIENTS: pasta. alfredo. meat sauce. raw (red) onion. hot sauce (cholula, judging by the video). ketchup (heinz, i think?). a little salt and pepper.

THE RECIPE: boil pasta, chop the onion, serve with all sauces. eat and not die.

hi my name is emily and welcome to jackass

instead of liveblogging this process, i'm just going to add my thoughts to one big post to make it cleaner <3

6:48 pm: the pasta is boiling. i keep looking over at the Pile of Sauces and giggling. i have whispered "what the fuck" to myself a few times now. i'm cooking the whole box, because we're all having spaghetti tonight, but i'm the only one brave enough to try... This

6:54 pm: erik did not mention this as part of the meal but i poured myself a glass of rose. the onion has been chopped. i tried to get them chunky to match the video but that's like too much man, at least have your onions DICED why are they in CHUNKS ERIK

7:05 pm: writing these time stamps i'm realizing i'm a slow cooker because i keep getting distracted by my playlist (rn it's rebel rebel by david bowie). i am starting the alfredo sauce and it's sinking in that i'm about to actually. eat this. like a few bites, there's no way i'm eating this whole plate (this is NOT foreshadowing)

7:07 pm: i almost panicked because i didn't think i had enough milk for the alfredo but surprise, i had EXACTLY enough. this is a good omen.

7:15 pm: everything is done, i am just waiting for the meat sauce to warm up. i'm still whispering "what the fuck to myself".

7:21 pm: it's time. to assemble.

i grabbed a small plate, but i'm realizing. maybe i should have grabbed less. this is revolting. and i'm not even done adding things

added and mixed. i'm laughing. erik eats this. before every game? it overwhelmingly smells like cholula which is fine but oh my god. oh my god? no. no. this poor man's stomach. oh my god

7:30 pm: i've put it off. it's time to take a bite

IT'S JUST. IT'S JUST A LOT OKAY. THIS IS A LOT OF FLAVOR AND NONE OF IT REALLY GOES TOGETHER? it's like way too acidic. biting into a red onion is a terrible surprise. it's too saucy and it doesn't feel Good in my stomach, like i have taken two bites and it's settled so heavily already. okay no three bites. it's... it's just upsetting. this is an upsetting experience. what the fuck is wrong with you erik karlsson. you eat this and then you go and play professional hockey?

FOUR BITES IN AND IT DOES NOT GET BETTER. why does he do this to himself like can we send someone to check on him fr i am genuinely concerned about this man like i made this meal for the bit but he willingly does this to himself?????? 82 games a season???????

IN CONCLUSION: i managed five (5) bites. they were all bad. don't make this. someone arrest erik karlsson immediately i am so serious.

[funishment-time]

🔵 Kodaka BlueSky Q&As: Misc DR & Multiple Characters

⚠️ DISCLAIMER: Please be advised! Translations of all Japanese answers derive from a combination of Google Translate and my manager's three-quarters-remembered Japanese. We've tried our best to work out what he's saying, but there will be mistakes here and there. Do not take this as gospel!

To avoid spreading too much misinfo, where we're completely boggled about an answer, we've decided not to even make an attempt. We'll still list the post, but mark it accordingly.

➡️ AN IMPORTANT NOTE FROM KODAKA BEFORE READING:

First of all, the questions answered here are not official. Everything that is official is what is said within the work. In contrast, this is simply what Kodaka, the creator, thinks, and it is not the correct answer. Use this as a starting point to enjoy the depth of each character, or to say, "That's not right!" and enjoy it with your own interpretation. I think of this as a way of communicating with the characters who live in fiction. This is important, so please spread the word.

💕 FEBRUARY 2024:

Q: Out of all the characters that have appeared so far, who is your favorite visually?

A: As a fan, Haruko from FLCL. Among my own creations...hmmm, Monokubs lol and Enoshima.

/////

Q: Sorry if this has already been said! I saw a tweet saying that Fukawa Toko's novel "Before the Scent of the Sea Disappears" was made into a short film by Kodaka Kazutaka! Is there anywhere I can see it?

A: I don't have it..! I have the data on my PC, but…lol

/////

Q: Are you interested in making games in the world of Ultimate Talent Development Plan? I would like to see all the characters together. (Sorry my Japanese is not very good. I am using a translator.)

A: It's too early to tell. I'll continue to make more and more characters.

/////

Q: I love Ultra Despair Girls, but it's sad that so few people are playing it 😢 Are there plans for a port or remake for the Switch?

A: It's an absolute masterpiece! I'm proud to say that it has the heaviest storyline I've ever written, and the friendship at the end will have you in tears. And it's also pretty fun to take down all the Monokumas in one fell swoop. The controls are a bit rough in some areas, so I'd like to tweak them and re-release it. But maybe that last possibility is impossible in today's world...

/////

Q: What is your favorite chapter in the Danganronpa series?

A: Hmm, Chapters 1 and 6 of 1, and Chapters 5 and 6 of 2. Maybe Chapters 1, 5 and 6 of 3.

/////

Q: I love Danganronpa Zero, and I'd like to ask if there were any particular things that you were thinking about when you were writing it.

A: At the time, it was my first novel in about five years, and although I said "I'll do it" lightly, I wasn't good at writing the narrative, and after pushing myself into scrapping it many times, I finally managed to get it done by writing the narrative from the protagonist's point of view.

/////

Q: I got hooked on the Danganronpa series when I was in elementary school and am now a working adult!! Danganronpa is my favorite work of all time! Of course I played Rain Code too!! I love how Shinigami-chan grows and becomes more human as the story progresses! I wonder if a sequel to Danganronpa is really possible...? I'm also waiting for a sequel to Rain Code I'll keep waiting until I die! I love you!

A: From elementary school to working adult…! Thanks to Danganronpa, you've become a fine adult! Neither sequel is impossible. I'd like to expand more, get results from other new works, and make myself more valuable, and do it when it's best for me.

/////

Q: Are there any characters that have a secret backstory in any of the Danganronpa works?

A: For the most part, there are still stories that we haven't talked about.

/////

Q: This may be a question that can't be answered (it may have been asked already), but in the bad ending of Danganronpa, Togami holds a portrait of Fukawa, and there is a child of Togami? Will the truth about that ever come to light?!

A: With the loss of Kirigiri, and the decision to live together within the school, everyone had a change of heart and decided to join hands. Fukawa stopped belittling herself, and Togami stopped being arrogant, and the two started dating, but the next day Fukawa died in an accident. She died after choking on a dumpling, and Togami was confused, believing it was a curse from Celes. As Asahina comforted the depressed boy, things just sort of happened and Togami's child was born. Asahina loves children, and decided that this was her mission and she would give birth to everyone's children. And since that was all there was to do in the boring school life, everyone did it a lot. After that, she gave birth to more than 10 children, and the school flourished.

NOTE: This is the worst thing I have ever read.

/////

Q: I can't help but wonder about the night that Asahina, Hagakure, Togami, and Fukawa spent in the gym in Chapter 5 of Danganronpa. What were they doing that night?

A: I think they were standing in the dark gymnasium, each at one of the four corners, going around tapping the shoulder of the next person in the corner...

/////

Q: The "motivation video" that appeared in V3 featured someone important to each character, but it wasn't revealed who was in the motivation video for the characters in the main story. Did you have a set idea in mind of "this character is this person", Mr. Kodaka? Some characters talk about family or special people in Free Time scenarios, but there are also some characters who don't talk about such things, so I'm curious.

A: I had it set at the time, but I've forgotten about it...

NOTE: ugh

/////

Q: What's your favorite romantic pairing in danganronpa?

A: Monomi and Monokuma.

/////

Q: I love the scene in Chapter 6 of the original Danganronpa where the mastermind and the scissors girl (I will not reveal her name for now) meet and politely greet each other. Mr. Kodaka, are there any funny or gag scenes from the Danganronpa series or Rain Code that you like?

A: There are heaps of gag scenes and funny scenes, but when I first saw Monokuma and Monomi's comedy routine in 2 with their lines incorporated, I felt something otherworldly that I'd never heard before. We record out of order, so after incorporating it with the game, I was surprised at how otherworldly it was.

/////

Q: I would like you to publish profiles of Danganronpa Zero characters! Please do so!

A: Let's ask Spikechun! Spikechun reserves all rights! Let's all protest and demand that these profiles be made public!

/////

Q: In the summary of the materials for Danganronpa 1, there was a detailed description of the non-killers' punishments, but I wonder if those will ever be made into a movie...? I've been dying to see it 🥲

A: It's not exactly a good idea to capture people dying on film…

/////

Q: Who is the most popular character in Danganronpa? I would be happy if you could tell me one male and one female!

A: My personal opinion is... For guys, it's Shinguji. There are girls who are attracted to weird guys like that. For girls, it's Iruma. There are boys who are attracted to weird girls like that.

NOTE: I believe this is IRL, not in-universe, as Kodaka later answers who has the most friends in-universe, and it's not Miu or Kork.

🍀 MARCH 2024:

Q: Excuse me for asking a question! Who is the strongest drinker among Munakata, Yukizome, and Sakakura? 🥹

A: It's probably Yukizome.

/////

Q: Among the BGM used in the original, 2, and V3, is there any that you particularly like, Mr. Kodaka? I absolutely love New World Order from the original, DANGANRONPA SUPER MIX from 2, and V3 Discussion - SCRUM - from V3!

A: The punishment music was created first, and it created a Danganronpa atmosphere, or rather a playful yet serious atmosphere, so it has a deeply cryptic vibe.

/////

Q: I bought Danganronpa again on Steam and had my ex-girlfriend play the whole series, and she got hooked. This may be mentioned in other media, but are there any characters who weren't meant to die but ended up dying?

A: While I was writing, some roles were switched, but I don't think there were many changes to the plot. I think it was Nidai and Kuzuryu who switched roles...

NOTE: His memory is correct. Beta designs show a Fuyuhiko-like character who was meant to the the team manager, and a mafia guy who was a big Nekomaru-ish dude.

/////

Q: In the Danganronpa series, you get underwear when your bond with a character reaches its maximum, but whose underwear do you like the most, Kodaka?

A: Personally, I'm not interested in underwear. They're dirty.

/////

Q: I know you didn't write or supervise Danganronpa S at all, Kodaka, but have you played it since its release? And if you did, were there any event conversations that you particularly liked?

A: [From @/genoskissors: "エアプ is slang meaning he knows about the games content, but has not played it himself." Thank you for the correction!]

/////

Q: [A longer question, found here, that comes down to: "i'm curious how your writing with your world evolved in ways you may not have had planed..."]

A: The scenario changes a lot when I write it. It is live. Try writing it, move the characters around, and it keeps changing. Because the characters are alive.

/////

Q: Yamada and Celes seem to have been quite close during their school days, but how did they end up like that?

A: "I've gotten better at making royal milk tea."

NOTE: This is probably Hifumi talking.

🥬 APRIL 2024:

Q: Will you ever make a V3 animation? That could be so cool I’d love to see it so much.

A: That is a matter for Spike Chunsoft to decide.

/////

Q: Who is the character with the most friends in each of the Danganronpa games: the original, 2, and V3?

A: I guess Yamada, Koizumi, and Angie. I'm not sure if I can call Angie a friend, though.

/////

Q: Chabashira Tenko and I have the same birthday and blood type, so I'd like to know how a character's birthday and blood type are decided. I'm currently studying Japanese.

A: It's decided by fate.

/////

Q: Tired of answering questions about Danganronpa?

A: I'm not bored. I love Danganronpa. However, I may forget some things, so I don't want to answer carelessly.

🌺 MAY 2024:

Q: I think Harukawa-chan had romantic feelings for Momota-kun, but did Momota-kun see Harukawa-chan as a romantic interest? Or did he just see her as one of his "students," like Saihara-kun?

A: "I didn't realize it at the time, so I wasn't even conscious of it. If I had realized it sooner, things might have been different..."

NOTE: This is probably Kaito talking.

☀️ JUNE 2024:

Q: I feel like there weren't any characters in the original Danganronpa who were definitely able to cook, so who was cooking at breakfast and the like? I'd also like to know if there were any characters who could cook in the original!

A: I think they basically just used pre-cooked food, but I think Fujisaki and Yamada seem like they can cook.

/////

Q: How did you decide the seating order for the class trial?

A: Intentionally in random order so as not to create any patterns.

/////

Q: Are there any characters in 1, 2, and V3 who are not virgins? Sorry for the really vulgar question.

A: A rough estimate is a quarter.

/////

Q: Is it decided how old the characters in works such as Danganronpa and Raincode are? If so, how old are they?

A: Of course, Danganronpa is mostly in their teens. Raincode has a wide range, but even Yakou is in his 30s.

NOTE: This is kind-of hilarious, because I'm pretty sure it's canonically stated Yakou is actually in his late 20s...in something that Kodaka himself wrote. I'll have to go find evidence.

/////

Q: I'd like to know the recommended menu items at Hanamura Diner!

A: Fresh tonkatsu.

NOTE: Tonkatsu is a fried pork cutlet.

/////

Q: Were the Love Hotel scenes also supervised by Kodaka-san? When Ouma says that he doesn't care what Saihara does to him, is that what he says to make it possible for him to have anyone in that space under his control?

A: I did supervise it. But I left that to people who are good at that sort of thing and refrained from interfering too much, and I still refrain from doing so now.

/////

Q: Is there any trick to Tanaka Gundham's chuunibyou dialogue? I'm curious to know how you think of the unique expressions used by Saionji Hiyoko and Iruma Miu.

A: The insults come out super easily, but Tanaka's lines were thought out thoroughly, based on the light novels I've read, so it's exhausting.

NOTE: A "chuunibyou" is a kid, generally 12-13, who believes they have secret powers or a grand backstory. Gundham's a bit old to be a chuuni by Kodaka's own admission in the DR2 artbook, but that was apparently part of the charm (and why it was so difficult to write him). It's spiritual Naruto running.

🎇 JULY 2024:

Q: I'd like to know what underwear your favorite Danganronpa character wears, Kodaka-san.

A: Monomi's panties. Diapers.

NOTE: This is how rumors get started, Kaz...

/////

Q: Do Rain Code and Danganronpa take place in the same world? Do any of your games and works have a shared universe with another? Or are they all separate? 🤔 💭 I'm asking because I just had a dream about Rain Code today!

A: I won't make a clear statement. I am not sure what will happen in the future. Anyway, please spread the Rain Code around the world.

/////

Q: If Hope's Peak Academy had regular exams, who would have the best overall grades?

A: It would have to be Togami. Kirigiri has clear strengths and weaknesses and doesn't seem like she'd be good at things like art. However, when it comes to multiple choice questions, Komaeda who relies on luck is the strongest, Ouma steals the answers in advance, and Ki-Bo tries hard and is average, but is bad at calculations.

🌭 AUG 2024:

Q: when i played danganronpa there were times where i wondered about how some characters got along with their family, have you written/thought anything about a character's family background that isn't mentioned in the video games?even if it's something small i feel like it would be interesting to read

A: I think, but the fact that I did not put it in writing means that I left it to the player's imagination.

/////

Q: If Sonia and Fubuki met, who would take the initiative in the conversation?

A: Even though they don't match up at all, they seem like they'd get along really well.

NOTE: Fubuki from Rain Code.

/////

Q: When all the Danganronpa characters are gathered together, who do you think has the most aura?

A: It must be Ogami. I think everyone would look at her first.

/////

Q: Thank you so much for making "Danganronpa"!! 😊💓💓 Many fans have a special feeling for the relationship between Komaeda Nagito and Hinata Hajime. Is there a possibility that the two will become lovers in the future?

A: I have no plans to create anything that takes place after Danganronpa 3.

🍁 SEPT 2024:

Q: Are there many undiscovered super-high school level talents outside of Japan?

A: You could make a Danganronpa World War. 150 students are locked in a school, about 10 incidents occur at the same time, class trials are held here and there, and punishments are handed out one after another.

/////

Q: Are you afraid of bugs, Soda? I'd like to know who among two people can stand bugs and who doesn't like them!

A: Soda is not good with insects that suddenly appear, fly, or move suddenly. Sonia is fine with insects.

/////

Q: I would like to know Ouma's first words and reaction upon seeing an armed Keebo-kun!

A: “This isn’t like you!”

[luvvvivii]

tour guide — c.bc

pairing - bangchan x mom!reader

genre - fluff, imagine

wc - 1.3k (1,357)

warnings - not proofread (are we surprised), no pronouns used but reader has a kid and is called mommy/mom, mentions reader's ex-husband leaving her/cheating, lmk if more

a/n - late bday post for chan! hope you enjoy

synopsis - taking your five year old out to a museum was supposed to be educational, so why is the tour guide stealing your heart?

it was saturday, and you were out with your son visiting the museum for the latest dinosaur exhibition. he had always been fascinated by the extinct creatures, and had grown a keen liking to them. that was the reason why almost all his possessions were dinosaur-themed.

"mommy, mommy, look! that man has a dinosaur on his hand!" your 5 year old, hajoon, broke you from your daydream with a tug on your fingers, pointing towards a figure in front of you. the man, indeed, had a dinosaur puppet propped on his hand, playing with the kids that gathered around him. with urgent pulls from your little boy, you were suddenly standing in front of said man, with your hajoon looking up at him in awe.

"hi kids! and guardians," the man started, acknowledging all the adults with a smile. "my name is chan, and I'll be your museum guide for today. if all the little ones could go over there for a second whilst I talk to the adults, and then we can get started shortly!" chan pointed towards the large play area behind him, adorned with bright walls, plenty of equipment and, of course, dinosaur figures everywhere. you urged hajoon to go play, and even make some new friends, whilst you listened to what the tour guide — who you noticed was also quite good looking — had to say.

"so, as I mentioned, my name is chan. I've been working here a while, so trust me, I've got experience. and, I promise to make this a fun and educational experience for your little ones. you guys won't have to do much, basically just follow us around and take care of your kid while I do all the work. pretty laid-back for you guys." chan explained. you tried your hardest listening to what he was saying, but now that you were much closer, you were forced to take in all of his features. they were so defined, and beautiful, you couldn't help but stare. all of a sudden, he turned and made eye contact with you. it stayed like that for a bit, until you realised he was saying something directed towards you.

"erm, I think your kid's calling you?" he pointed to something behind you, and when you turned around you were met with hajoon's impatient whines. it was safe to say, you were completely embarrassed. "r-right…sorry!" you rushed over to your child, and looked after his needs straight away, before immediately entering a mode of shame. you hadn't seen it, but chan chuckled in seeing your embarrassment. "cute." he mumbled to himself impulsively.

soon enough, the museum tour was starting, and the kids were already riled up. they were running around, admiring all the exhibits, chatting amongst each other softly ; it was pretty obvious that they'd finally gotten to know one another. you glanced over at hajoon, and smiled to yourself at seeing him growing a close bond with one other girl, whose name you'd learn later on to be sumin. you had a feeling of guilt over taking you, however. despite coming here to have a great time with your little boy, all you could focus on was chan. your eyes always lingered on him a second longer than they should, and you felt your heart fluttering when your eyes met. despite all the promises you made to yourself when hajoon was born, you couldn't help but slightly fall for the cute tour guide in front of you.

when you were pregnant with your boy, a month before you'd gone into labour, your (ex-)husband had announced that he'd found another woman he was interested in, and therefore no longer wanted to stay with you. it broke your heart into too many pieces to count, but you knew you had to stay strong for hajoon. even if his biological father wouldn't be there to see it, you would look after hajoon as if you had no other care in the world, and you would execute it beautifully. you had also promised yourself that, unless you were 100% sure you were ready, you wouldn't get with another man. the obvious part was that you still felt the struggles of your ex-husband leaving you, and it tore your heart out every single day. the only problem was, were you sure you weren't ready to try to find someone new? someone who could love hajoon as much — if not, more — than you?

it took a while, but you had finally reached halfway through the exhibition. in all honesty, you had no idea what was going on half the time. but seeing hajoon's overjoyed face almost broke you to tears of happiness. you turned from hajoon's direction to behind you, where you were met with soft, loving eyes. chan's glance towards you felt…odd. not in a bad way, but it was still quite odd. it made you feel things you didn't think you'd ever feel in a while, but you weren't complaining anymore. this could be like your own little adventure, just like hajoon's.

but what if you were getting ahead of yourself? what if he always looked so caring to everyone? you were just getting tied up in something which wasn't even true.

"okay everyone! it's time to continue, up on your feet now." his sweet voice rung across the museum. you wondered, should I just give it a chance?

eventually, the museum tour eventually all came to an end. your five year old was dejected to have to leave, but immediately changed his mind when he saw they were giving out free dinosaur related toys. he rushed over, dismissing you with a quick "you can wait with the car mom!" with this, you took it as an opportunity to make small talk with the tour guide. eventually even lead it to a bigger picture.

"hi there, I'm not sure if you noticed, but I was the mom of one of the kids from the tour? hajoon?" you were fidgeting a bit, rethinking the choices that you made.

"yes! I've definitely noticed you, don't worry! is there anything you need?" chan's face contorted into one of concern.

"no no! I'm okay! I just…" you were doing it. you were actually doing it. you would be asking for the cute tour guide's number, but would he actually give it to you? that was when you looked up to finally meet chan's eyes. they were still wearing a hint of concern behind them, and his head was cocked slightly to the side.

"I just wanted to say thank you for making all the children so happy." you sighed, slightly annoyed at yourself for chickening out, although you did really mean what you said.

"of course! this is my job of course~ but in all seriousness, I really try to make them as happy as possible, how else would they enjoy it?" you giggled slightly at his response, before bidding him farewell and turning around to get hajoon.

"wait!" you paused and whipped your head back towards chan. "erm, don't take this in the wrong way but, are you a single mother? I mean, all the other kids had both their parents come, but with hajoon it was just you?" you nodded, to which he responded with a small "ah." and looked down.

"also, if you were cool with it — which if you're not, it's totally fine! I understand — but could I maybe get your number? just to keep in touch sometimes! because I think you're pretty cool, and hajoon's pretty cool! argh, this is totally not right, I'm so sorry. but—" you cut his trail of thought as you pulled out your phone and showed him your number. he looked relieved, running his hands through his dark brown locks. he typed in your number and saved it, sending you a small text so that you could do the same. you said your final goodbyes and promised to stay in contact with one another.

you never thought you'd be able to love another as much as you loved your ex-husband, but maybe when chan came along, fate decided to change that.

©@luvvvivii all rights reserved | do not repost or translate

[mayflowers515]

Smiling Critters: Non Lore-Heavy Headcanons!

This is just what I personally think they'd be like in my AU, if you guys have different interpretations, that's fine!

(I could also do scenarios based on the headcanons too if you guys wish! )

Reference post for characters if needed: https://www.tumblr.com/mayflowers515/743811211445010432/smiling-critters-in-gacha-life-2?source=share

Kickin would 100% call his friends a specific nickname. It's his way of approving that they're cool to him. He barely calls them by their actual name unless the situation is serious. Here is what he'd call everyone:

Bubba = Nerd (in the most affectionate way possible here); Can also imagine Kickin calling him sir or mister sometimes

Bobby = Beary or BB (may or may not be based off of content I've seen with these nicknames for her-)

Hoppy = Hopscotch (calls her by last name because he thinks it's cool already; Hoppy would use that logic against him and call him Chicken occasionally); He also likes to call her Hops for short

CatNap = Sleepyhead, Sleeping Beauty

DogDay = Mr. Brightside, DD

Crafty = Princess (that would probably freak Crafty out since she thinks he knows of her status; in reality, he calls her this because of her vibes, especially after a certain scenario I have planned for her)

Picky = Piggy (doesn't really have any other idea for a nickname, but he wants to come up with one that sounds "more cool"; tried this by calling her PP, but didn't realize how bad it was until the first and only time he used it for her)

Kickin would call himself KC, since y'know, he wants everyone to know he's cool, too! (credits to mr. story for the idea)

2. Crafty has a very good singing voice. She doesn't show it off for a couple reasons though:

Because she's a little shy about showing it off in the first place

Doesn't want to overpower her friends if they sing together

She's worried her friends will find a way to link her voice to her background (will discuss more in a future post)

(Based off a voice canon video I saw for her where her singing voice was based off of Fluttershy's from "Filli Vanilli")

3. When Picky isn't cooking or eating, she likes to dance and tend to her personal garden. It's filled with fresh fruits and vegetables, but she also has some flowers and shrubs, too! She likes to use products from her garden for her cooking sometimes.

4. CatNap's house smells like all kinds of specific essential oils. He is the one who uses them the most of the Critters, which helps set the atmosphere for his calming home.

5. I already mentioned before that Crafty can never keep her clothes clean for the whole day. But she really likes her overall dresses, so she keeps a lot of the same ones just in case one of them gets too messy.

6. Kickin is great with comebacks and wordplay. Even in the toughest of situations, he usually pieces together slick phrases. The only exceptions are if he were to start like-liking someone or if he had an idol he admired. He'd get more nervous and fumble his words by that point.

7. Here is what I like to think the Critters want to be when they become adults (they're still children in this AU):

CatNap (counselor; something to do with aromatherapy too most likely)

DogDay (doesn't know; he hasn't thought about it)

Bobby (nurse or maybe a therapist)

Crafty (artist of course; may be more inclined to be a painter)

Kickin (journalist or reporter?; I can see him commentating on things like sports and current events lol)

Hoppy (soccer player or coach)

Bubba (professor, but not sure of which subject rn)

Picky (chef, no surprise there. She wishes to run her own restaurant someday)

8. Inspired by some comics, but CatNap's tail can extend to really long lengths. His friends use this as an advantage to drag him along or hold onto him when he's not aware of his surroundings or he's asleep. His tail can only extend to so long though (maybe four-five feet?) so eventually it can get pulled. He doesn't like that. His friends realize this the hard way, and from that point forward, they tend to drag him along their adventures in a wagon. Typically DogDay is the one to watch over the wagon.

9. In contrast to CatNap, DogDay is much more nervous during the nighttime. He tries to hide this to not worry his friends, but they can usually see through him. He doesn't exactly get the best sleep all the time, yet he still manages to operate smoothly for his friends (maybe through coffee? I can see him drinking that-)

10. Possible fears of all the Critters

Bobby (being alone and abandoned, canon; can also see her fearing bugs too, but she can't bring herself to kill them since she loves and values all life regardless)

Picky (sickness, a part of this plays into her need to stick to a healthy lifestyle, and she stresses out whenever she feels she made too many unhealthy choices; she also hates being sick because then she can't provide for her friends)

Kickin (sudden noise and heights; he would try to hide this to keep his cool image, so he brushes off his fears so others can't see it from the outside. However, on the inside and sometimes more obviously the outside, he is TERRIFIED)

Bubba (failing his friends and leading them down the wrong direction; tries to prevent this from happening by being as well-informed on as many topics as he can think)

DogDay (the dark; he always needs a nightlight in his room so he can go to sleep better)

CatNap (his second scent; more elaboration on that sometime soon but if you know what I'm referring to, you know...; can also seem him fearing water a little since y'know, cat behavior-)

Hoppy (needles; I just don't see her holding up well at the doctor's personally-)

Crafty (public audience; she can only handle so many people watching her at once until she feels she needs to get out)

11. People would expect Bubba and Crafty to constantly be at odds due to their different thinking approaches (left brain + right brain), but they actually get along quite well! They may have a couple disagreements, but otherwise they are usually open to what the other is saying. Basically, an "I want what you have" kind of situation but downplayed. Mainly since Bubba isn't as good with thinking outside of the box meanwhile Crafty isn't the most book smart. They would bounce off each other well. They would work well together when it comes to devising plans with their friends. Bubba would explain the plan while Crafty sketches the plan's details.

12. Crafty can draw at fast speeds, but she can't draw anything super detailed. Still, she is surprised herself that it doesn't look too bad when she rushed it.

13. Speaking of speed, Hoppy can, in addition to moving fast, speak fast and somehow still remember what she says. When others don't process what she says, she would be a bit more annoyed and say it slower. She doesn't speak fast often, only in situations where she is really enthusiastic or she's in a panic.

14. In terms of their more animal-like qualities, DogDay is the most expressive of the Critters. He wags his tail and raises his ears a lot depending on the circumstance.

15. Bobby can have very bad anxiety in stressful situations. Worse case scenario, she may even just ball up and become unresponsive to stimuli.

16. PB&Js are still Picky's favorite food, but she eats them in moderation when she's felt good on what she ate for the rest of the day. She will refuse to eat them when she's stressed or if she gets sick. She gets like this with any unhealthy food in general actually, just more inclined to do it with PB&Js.

17. (Based on that road trip image of them) They're all kids, but in their world, they're able to drive. Still, there are some Critters you should trust behind the wheel more than others:

Bubba (not only would he be safe on the road, but his great memory basically makes him a walking GPS, assuring an instant trip to their destination without getting lost; despite this, it's usually #2 who drives more because he's usually tasked as the voice of reason to make sure no one riots while someone is behind the wheel; he also slightly manages his memory better when he isn't multitasking)

DogDay (is usually the one that drives everyone when they're out on road trips. He is generally very calm behind the wheel and will encourage others on the way to wherever they're going, so he's also considered fun to have as the driver by his friends)

Picky and Bobby (tied; both would do just fine behind the wheel and would both be careful of the cars around them and the passengers in the car; would give Picky the edge here though since she doesn't have to raise her seat as much just to drive compared to Bobby)

Kickin (would care more about looking cool on the road than actually driving well. When he isn't focused on his ego, he doesn't drive too badly. He may have a slight bit of road rage, though)

CatNap (he would be better during night time trips as he is more active then, but even then it wouldn't happen often since driving can get stressful. Also, at any other time besides night, he runs the risk of sleeping on the spot even while driving, so no, please don't let him drive…) (ngl, him and #7 could be interchangeable here; both have drawbacks whenever they're behind the wheel-)

Crafty (she's pretty mediocre when it comes to driving. Her mind usually spirals in a panic whenever she's behind the wheel, and she'd focus more on the panic of driving at all than actually driving, so for her sanity, don't let her drive...)

Hoppy (never, EVER have her behind the wheel. The car will crash and burn in seconds... She can get really impulsive when it comes to driving and I can imagine her having some bad road rage; the Critters let her drive once after she pleaded with them so many times; probably in a situation where for some reason DogDay and/or Bubba couldn't do it. She led them in a ditch, crashing into someone's party down below, unintentionally of course. Everyone was okay, but they never let her drive again after that)

18. In addition to wanting to be the cool friend, I can also imagine Kickin wanting to joke around and make his friends laugh from time to time. He also pulls harmless pranks sometimes (sometimes he is unaware how his pranks potentially hurt others until it's too late though-)

19. Bobby has a really big sweet tooth. Especially when it comes to chocolate. Also, if anyone were to give her a chocolate heart, she would melt in their arms on the spot (doesn't matter if the intention is platonic or romantic, she just loves receiving chocolates, especially the hearts)

20. Hoppy would have the most game equipment of her friends. She has equipment that ranges across all kinds of sports as well as other physical activities.

21. If Crafty was given sidewalk chalk and there was pavement outside of her friends' houses (though I don't think this is the case in canon sadly), she would use it to draw something outside her friends' houses as a way to show appreciation.

22. Bubba would have his own mini library inside his house will all different genres of books. The books of this library are books he collected that were from his family's or from what he found when they were out and about. He occasionally lets his friends borrow books from him if they need to.

23. The Critters are vegan. Things like burgers and milk come from other sources for them. So no worries, in this version, the burger Picky was about to eat in the intro was sourced from plants (she wouldn't actually eat animals... right? *cough cough* canon version... *cough)

24. CatNap would be the best at telling spooky stories. He already has a naturally quiet voice. All he'd need to do to make it sound more spoopy for his friends is give it a creepy tone, and already that makes him a good scary storyteller...

25. DogDay doesn't really make his own food often, but he actually does like baking more than people give him credit for. His favorite thing to bake is cookies (especially ones that look like dog treats!)

26. This meme explained for Critters:

"We have food at home" - Bubba, Picky

"MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS! MCDONALDS!" - Hoppy, DogDay, Kickin, Bobby

In between these two sections: Crafty (depends on her mood)

*Pulls into the drive through as children cheer* *Orders a single black coffee and leaves* - CatNap (not meaning to be rude, but just doesn't want to put up with ordering for everyone so he orders for him; he's too tired for that ok?*

27. CatNap has the worst reaction time and is the most clumsy of the Critters. It's literally canon that the guy trips on his own tail. That HAS to be a thing here. It just has to.

28. This may come as a surprise, but CatNap actually does like drinking coffee, except he mainly has it at nighttime so he can stay up and help people in need of assistance at nighttime; he puts a lot of creamer and milk in his coffee, though- He doesn't like black cofffee (I imagine in the McDonalds meme he takes the coffee home with him and prepares it with his usual creamer and milk)

Welp, this is pretty long and scrambled. Sorry if some characters have more headcanons than others. If I think of other hcs I can update this! I do actually have more I'd like to share sometime, but the ones I'm thinking about are more lore-heavy for the characters so I'll put that in a separate post :)

[icespur]

FERAL OVERPROTECTIVE BOYFRIEND AKECHI IF HE WAS IN PERSONA 5 STRIKERS

Related to above post

Edit 12/11: Upon Comment notifying I don't need to censor certain words, I've changed some to the original intention.

Edit 12/18: Uncensored whole post

Sees Zenkichi as an immediate threat. Tries to throw hands with the man and gives him death stares 24/7.

Gramps sealed his fate the second he openly revealed to the PTs that he's a cop. Akechi is like "I'm a former ally of the Police, I know what you're group does and what your true intentions are probably. Your "cool dad" vibe isn't fooling me one bit. I could care less what happens to most of these idiots BUT IF YOU SO AS GO WITHIN FIVE FEET OF MY JOKER WITH HANDCUFFS OR A GUN, YOUR ASS IS GRASS."

Akiren has to constantly be on watch to make sure his feral lover doesn't successfully snipe Zenkichi while he isn't looking. Because he definitely tries. Akiren just told him he couldn't shoot him with his gun, but he didn't say anything about killing the man with a sniper while hiding in a very convenient tree or hiding in a very out of place suspicious Trash Can or Bush. If it weren't for Akiren's Third Eye being able to see where Akechi is hiding, Gramps would be laying in a pool of blood on the pavement already.

"Why is that brunet man glaring at me?" Zenkichi points at Akechi hiding behind Akiren, but definitely not out of shyness. He's hugging Akiren in practically a death grip and staring at the Cop over Akiren's shoulder. If looks could kill, Zenkichi is certain his exploded headless corpse would be laying on the ground.

Extra: Akiren would try to get Akechi out of his "Detective mode" when trying to look for the next Monarch. By happily dragging him around every hotspot in a new city they travel to. Just because they are on a mission doesn't mean they can't take some time off and enjoy the sights!

"Babe, look at all the food stands! We have to try them all and fill the van full of souvenirs."

"Did you forget we're not soley on Summer break, but traveling because once again your freedom is on the line? We're investigating for more intel on the current Monarch first, then perhaps we can indulge oursel---AMAMIYA, LET ME GO."

Akiren literally grabs Goro by the arm and drags him away from the people he was questioning, and to the food stands. "Romantic sightseeing and shopping spree first, Detective work later."

"We are literally in the middle of an investigate--"

"ROMANTIC SIGHTSEEING. AND SHOPPING SPREE. FIRST. INVESTIGATION. LATER."

[possessingtheproperspirit]

opening line patterns

Rules: List the first line of your last 10 (or however many you have) posted fics and see if there's a pattern!

Thanks for the tag @thequibblah!! Another one from six hundred years ago, but you know what they say, better late than never...possibly.

Murder on the Dance Floor

So much of James Potter’s life seems to involve wondering how he let someone talk him into doing something. 

2. The Price We Pay

Sirius sat, stiff-backed and blank-faced, and tried to remember a time he hadn’t hated this house.

3. In The Bleak Midwinter

“I’m just saying—”

4. to love

She found him, as she expected she would, in the common room. 

5. A Fate Resigned

It’s a slow disintegration.

6. The First Time

She’d never been carried up a set of stairs before.

7. A Lesson in Communication

He had to tear his eyes away from her, from the sweetly innocent way her chin tilted up towards him, green eyes wide. 

8. heart of glass

The room was too much: things moving, ticking, mutters and colours and not a single thing in rest, apart from him.

9. Distractions

Thirty-five minutes.

10. Table-Mates

Perhaps it wasn’t a cool opinion to have, but James had always thought that weddings were wonderful.

I guess the patterns here are opening up in the middle of something, sometimes dialogue like no. 4, but mainly into some action or introspection. Also we love a short sentence for effect, don't we, like in nos 5, 6 and 9. As I think I've said before, I'm not a huge draft-redraft person, or a plan person, so I just sort of bowl into things and hope for the best. First lines very rarely change once they're on the page, not because I'm egotistical and assume they can't be bettered (I'm sure many can) but because it's just a jumping off point for getting into the meat of things, so I've usually already moved on in my head lol.

That was fun! Tagging @mppmaraudergirl @clare-with-no-i @kay-elle-cee @emeralddoeadeer @alittlebitofeverything23 if you want to do it/haven't done it already!

[martsonmars]

Fic writers self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass it on to at least five other writers (except me because obvs I have already done it). Spread the self love ❤

Omg I hoped I'd get this ask, and the timing is perfect because I get to be sappy! Thank you. (Note: as always I drafted this post immediately and then let it die in my drafts 🤣)

Picking only five was really hard (and in fact I'm cheating). But I tried to focus on complete stories, because I am obsessed with stories yet to be finished but it doesn't make much sense to rec them. It was also difficult to separate the fics that I want to rec from the fic that I felt like I should mention because they're more popular or more liked, but I think I managed it.

5. I Know What You Are [T, 17k]

This fic is the first fic that made me feel like I had done it. Like I had written the kind of story I'd always wanted to since starting to write fanfiction in this fandom — a getting together fic that wasn't a short one shot but felt complete and well developed and satisfying. I also loved world building it, and sharing the behind the scenes content, and I am looking forward to, one day, writing another story set in this universe. I'm just really proud of it, and of the role it played in my journey as a writer.

4. The Dragon, the Sword, and the Knight [T, 3.3k]

This story holds a special spot in my heart. I love the format — I love that there's a story within the story, I love the fairytale vibes and I'm hoping to turn the fairytale into a short story one day, maybe a picture book. I also love it for the creative energy that surrounds it and that makes it a perfect example of why I love this fandom: it was inspired by art by @letraspal, who then made art for this fic; @sillyunicorn wrote a song about it and @jbrrring made art for the song. It feels so good to be part of something that involves so many creative lovely people.

3. sapore di sale, sapore di mare [T, 13k]

This is my first fic, and it deserves a spot here. Before Any Way The Wind Blows, I never thought I'd write canon compliant or established relationship. They're still not my favourite kind of fic, I strongly prefer getting togethers and AUs/canon divergences, but back then I was so sure I had nothing to say. And then AWTWB came out and I had SO MUCH to say. This fic is about food and about love and about the connection between food and love which is extremely important to me.

2. unfair [M, 9k]

I love this fic because it's different and because it's unique. It was a challenge to write something not only different from my usual Snowbaz but also different from many things I've written. I had a very specific vibe in mind and a very specific style to maintain and it worked out pretty well, but it wasn't easy. For the same reason I have to give a honourable mention to The Vampire and the Boy in the Tower, I worked a lot on the vibe and the style and I'm incredibly proud of it. unfair is an exploration of womanhood and motherhood that I managed to pull off better than I thought, and I'm glad I followed my heart to write something so niche.

1. Anti-seduction [T, 25k]

I don't know if this is my favourite fic I've written, but I've been thinking about it a lot recently. I love AUs so much, and this was so easy and fun to write. I loved the alternate timelines and the emails and the fun and the pining and the silly playlists I included. And this is the fic I wrote while I was falling in love, which made the experience different from any other fics I've written. Writing romance hits differently when you have someone to think about, and I really felt it with this fic (and with Coup de Coeur, later, too). I should write more just to feel it again. 💙.

[totaldramafan-lauri]

Make Use Of Me (chapter 1, preview)

Dec. 7 EDIT: ONCE MORE, WITH BRAVERY THIS TIME. No more chickening out. You can read this thing FOR REAL now. Sorry for being weird, and now....sorry if this wasn't worth it. XD

O-OK...here goes....

First thing's first: I am not expecting a lotta people to read this. I'm not asking people to read this. At this point, I'm making this mostly as a passion project, and if anyone enjoys it, it'll be a really cool bonus. My writing style isn't gonna be for everyone, and the characters I write aren't the most....popular characters in the CRK X Reader community, and I imagine this isn't really something a lotta fans'll be demanding more of.

This is LONG. This one chapter is 56 pages long. I am a VERY wordy writer,

So......why'm I posting this preview? Well....partially as an interest gauge for people who WOULD wanna read it, but...mostly as a motivator. As something to remind myself of whenever I get lazy. After all....I can't quit after I made the first chapter public, right? By doing that, I put myself out there...And, hey, I even tagged it, so, if by the off chance, someone did read it, I'm basically promising them more eventually.....

But, again, I'm not forcing anyone to read this.

Not only is it long, but.....This first chapter is probably my least-favorite thing I've ever written. By posting this chapter by itself, I'm testing to see if it does its job of making people wanna read the rest, cuz....right now, I'm not so sure how well it succeeds at that.....

This is the boring part of the story. It's a bunch of setup, and me jumping through hoop after hoop after hoop to just get everything started. I know setup is important and all, but....I'm already a very wordy writer, so....oof....There is some interesting stuff that happens, but it takes a while to get there.

I-I....kinda hate it, actually. The only reason I didn't scrap it is that I didn't realize I hated it until I was about halfway through it and the "good part" hadn't started yet. And I still spent a month writing the thing, so....I finished it.

I'm tagging this...as an experiment. If you wanna read this, go ahead. W-well, read my tags first, THEN go ahead. XD

All I can really say in this chapter's defense is that....I do try my best to salvage it. It's just setup, but I TRIED to make it interesting. And everything that seems like it didn't go anywhere, will later. This isn't the whole story, it's just the beginning of what's gonna be a BIG story. Anything that seems weird in this chapter, gets explored in the other chapters. This does set up a bunch of stuff that becomes important later (The friend character shows up later, the Colosseum becomes relevant later). This chapter is boring, but I tried not to make any of it pointless.

For the future: I'm aiming for five chapters. Chapters 2 and 3 will be a series of smaller vignettes that take place over the course of a few years, chapter 4 will be the climax, and chapter 5 will be something of an epilogue. After that, there will be two endings to choose from (which will make sense when we get there).

This probably won't be my favorite thing I've ever written, but it will be the most ambitious thing I've ever, and probably will ever, write. I haven't written something like this before, and it's all to flesh out this story and make it believable.

Right now, I.....I want to finish this. I'll probably still be writing this in February at the rate I'm going, but...at this point, I've put too much into it to give up on it. However, I'm STILL not completely ruling out the idea of my motivation dying before then. It COULD happen. So, what I'm planning to do is...setting a short-term goal of finishing chapter 3. After I do that, I'll post the first three chapters on AO3 together, and work on the rest. That way, even if I don't finish it, I'll at least have it over half done, and chapter 3 will end on a somewhat high note.

So, yyyyeah....Not a lotta people will read this preview. Overly wordy writing style + boring setup part of story + 56 pages long + assumed lack of interest for X Readers of this character (At least, I haven't SEEN many simps for her, m-maybe I'm wrong, I might be, I-I haven't checked any tags cuz I've been nervous, b-but it doesn't make my writing any better. In that case, this is my first time writing her so I'm trying super hard to do her justice >//////<)

I-if you wanna read this, and see if this first chapter does a good job of making you wanna read the better chapters, then...Go ahead.....

Some notes:

-This is still not the final draft. It's finalized enough for me to share, but I'm still not considering it finished. Even tho I'm working on chapter 3 right now, I STILL go back and edit this, even very recently. So, chances are, even if the story is finalized, small details and sentences are still subject to change. I know for a fact that there are still SOME placeholder bits in here that will change after I get some stuff cleared up. Recently, I even considered chopping off an entire section to make it shorter. I decided not to, but hey, it could still happen. I don't wanna waste anyone's time. The first chapter of a story, even if it's boring, is still very important, and I wanna make sure it's the best version of itself.

(A-and yes, this means that I've finished chapter 2 as well. The reason I'm not sharing it is that, unlike chapter 1, it was finished VERY recently, so I might still need to give myself time to edit it. From what I have, tho, I do like it a LOT more than chapter 1. There are some parts of chapter 2 that I'm legit proud of.)

-Even tho this first chapter is completely clean, I-I should mention that....this fic is for adults. The full version, at least. Chapters 3 and 4 are gonna contain some light N/S/F/W moments (the "fade to black" variety, so nothing explicit) and there'll be other slightly racey comments here and there. Just a heads-up. I'm gonna be uncomfy with minors reading this.

Th-that's all? I-I think that's all.......O-OK, so......h-here goes..... E-enjoy....

[mahuhumaling]

why the award-winning scene is one of my top 5 fav bbs scenes

EXT. DORM PARKING LOT — NIGHT

now in contrast to the bus stop scene in episode 3, i had a hard time understanding why i really like this one.

in every piece of media, there has to always be at least 2 Levels of Meaning: what the audience is told, and what the audience is shown.

of course, it's quite similar to the classic writing principle of "show, don't tell." the writers, actors, and everyone inside the show only have to lay out the story's puzzle pieces for the viewers, but the viewers have to solve it for themselves, or else it wouldn't be a good story.

sideline: tumblr user shortpplfedup made an analysis to this scene and it's excellent. i've been obsessed ever since it was posted. a perspective from someone who has read the novel.

so back to the scene: gosh, where do i start.

there was supposedly a scene before this, showing pat drunk with his friends, but it got cut. i assume it's because of pacing. the entire point of that scene is only to show pat drunk anyway, so scrapping it is not a huge loss.

the effect is better though. by removing that obvious scene, we have our own realization that pat is not exactly sober: whether it's the way ohm chose to drop the water bottle cap off haphazardly, or wash his face, or the rugged sighs. we're already setting up that because of his demeanor, pat won't be himself any more than he would be if he was sober (because of the recent realization >> romantic feelings boiling over).

ENTER PRAN and WAI on a motorcycle.

they're also drunk. okay. so the drunken element will be this scene's primary motivation.

"I never thought I would see this version of Mr. Pran."

wai speaks first. to indirectly provoke. of course. 😒

fine, let's talk. even if this isn't the right time to do so.

"What the heck do you want?" "..." "Why? Is it so hard to accept defeat?"

pran puts up a front: hostility. It's the only safe way he can talk to pat with, that he knows wouldn't put wai in a suspicion. but since pat is drunk AND does not currently give a fuck, pat answers with something that completely throws pran off.

"Defeated by that lousy song. Why would I feel anything?"

damn, okay.

ENTER DRAMATIC IRONY.

this line is something pat is in fact trying to tell himself, not to pran. pran seems to catch on that something is up with pat, though he doesn't know exactly what, so he signals pat to leave before the latter says any more shit that is revealing.

"...Just go."

so, pat doesn't say anything.

instead, he tries to kiss pran.

now i'm not 100% certain so this remains an interpretation, but the fact that p'jojo also thinks the same in the soonvijarn reaction, and the fact that ohm steps forward, leans in, eyelids drop, and looks down at the direction of the lips all say a lot.

either way, splashing water in the face clearly didn't do pat any good, because he's acting so impulsive.

pran stops him regardless, and in that moment of closeness is safety — they are having a completely different conversation. they're whispering: pran warning that this isn't the right time with wai around, and pat insisting that that's exactly the reason why it's the right time.

i love the fandom reading of "pat isn't jealous of wai because he thinks wai could be a competition of pran's romantic affections, but because of what wai represents." which is why it's brought up in the rooftop scene consequently: that even as friends, they cannot be.

"We are not even friends." "...That's right."

unlike wai. wai who sleeps over without pran complaining every five seconds, wai who gets to be near pran all the time, wai who gets to be let in pran's space, wai who compliments dissaya's cooking, wai who gets to be in a band with pran and no intrusive parent will come to transfer them.

pat? pat doesn't get to have any of that! he doesn't even get to be openly honest in this moment.

so what does he do?

he gets angry.

in psychology, anger is always a secondary emotion because it's a resort when we don't deal with primary negative emotions directly. in pat's case, his first emotions are hurt and frustrated. the second is anger.

i mean... look at the tears forming in the corner of his eye.

i don't remember who it was anymore but someone noted pat's "tell him" to pran as a double meaning for

go ahead. tell wai what our relationship is; but also,

tell me. because we can't keep dancing around each other. because i don't know what we are either.

meanwhile, wai cannot figure out what the hell those two are whispering about, so he's merely observing.

notice how wai doesn't have a visceral reaction until after he sees pran push pat like that.

he has ZERO idea what is happening — he's only gauging the situation via pran. the reason why i mentioned shortpplfedup's Anatomy of a Scene post on this dorm fight is because of the "wai knows 0%, pran knows 50%, and pat knows 110% of the situation" reading. thinking about it from that perspective makes this scene so tight and pressurized. you understand why it bubbles over. wai knows nothing, pran thinks he knows everything when in fact he only knows half of what's happening, and pat knows too much of what he can handle.

the tension escalates to what's barely a fight. two punches.

of course the camerawork is also incredible, handheld to capture the shakyness and blur feeling of the fight. it's overwhelming, and accurately so.

+ the performances! nanon's shout stunned me. i think i would sober up too if i got yelled at like that.

not to mention this. the delivery is god tier. pran shouts first,

then gets all up in wai's face to prove he's serious.

then reiterates. low and hard.

jimmy's improvised line "are you sure there's nothing going on here?" comes back to bite pran in the ass in episode 8,

but wai leaves because pran asks him to. because he trusts him.

[x.]

MY TOP 5 FAVORITE BAD BUDDY SCENES

(In no actual order)

3 - Broken Bus Stop Redesigning

5 - Fight in the Dorm Parking Lot

10 - Pran Sings "Our Song" Draft

10 - InkPa in the Darkroom

12 - Dissaya Watches Ming

[lore-gore]

Also PLEASE post about your oc! I'm trying to get up the courage to make one for hh x3

Finally! It's time! My most detailed oc that I've been working on for five years! (I am so nervous about sharing this)

Originally they were a self insert but grew to become their own character. (Which is why we have the same name. So I suppose they are both a self insert and an oc?)

I'm including bio, relationship with characters, and scene inserts

Hopefully this does not come off as cringe (I better get complements or I will cry)

Tw for death, murder, violence, bullying, obsession, stalking, mentioned kidnapping, shipping with alastor because why not, British people

Also tag me when you make yours!!!

@myroanokenightmare666 @frilledshark-enthusiast @astral--horrorshow you prommied

Bio:

Lorelai "Lore" Dagenhart

The token spooky weird goth character

Ghost Demon (based on an onryo)

She/They

AFAB Nonbinary

Biromantic Asexual

24

Autistic

Goth

British

From Birmingham

Chaotic neutral

Scorpio

Gen Z

Born October 31, 1999

Died October 31, 2023

Stabbed in the heart

Killed her old bullies (The four main ones; failed to kill the last one. Or did they?)

Was bullied severely (called names and slurs, beaten up, tripped, shoved, desk was graffitied, hair pulled and even cut, had liquids poured on her to trigger their sensory issues, rumors spread to the point not even the other goths wanted to hang out with her because they thought they sacrificed birds, locked in closets, etc.)

Failed to make friends

Tried to act "normal" for a while but because she had already been established as the weird kid it didn't work

Decided to commit to being weird

Loves being eccentric

Says weird, random, and ominous things

Likes scaring people; is good at it

Special interest is horror

Was a semi popular horror author

Drew their own covers

Has a cute style and a realistic monster style

Had good parents growing up

Parents owned a funeral home

Dad was a funeral director and mom was a mortician

Were similar to Morticia and Gomez

Speaks English and British Sign Language

Sister was deaf (her name was Faye)

Scared of bodies of water (especially running water)

Doesn't mind rain

Can still swim

Bright rooms give her sensory overload (puts on sunglasses to combat this)

Wears sound filtering earbuds

Rarely holds conversation

Either infodumps or barely contributes

Avoids eye contact

If they force herself to make eye contact, they will hold it for way too long

Only really makes eye contact when trying to intimidate someone

Struggles with social cues

Won't realize someone is upset unless they tell her

When that happens, they will simply sit and listen, which works well

Can recognize fear

Fluctuates between touch adverse, touch positive, and touch indifferent

Has a heart-shaped face, a small nose, pure white skin, long black hair parted in the middle that reaches the floor, big droopy eyes that are completely black, including the sclera, dark circles, black lips, and white fangs

Tall

6'5, 7'0 with her platforms

Very thin and bony

Wears a grey hoodie with a red x over their heart and heart shaped lock prints running down the sleeves, a pleated black skirt, black and white striped stockings, knee high lace up black 5 inch platform boots and a binder

Facial expression is usually neutral

Voice is also usually monotone

Has a haunting singing voice

Cold to the touch

The temperature in the room lowers when she gets upset (the more upset they are, the colder it gets; she is unaffected by this)

Can float

Can turn invisible

Has prehensile hair

Every time they cut it it grows back

Can't be styled either (will just return to its normal state)

Can store things inside of it

Easily sneaks up behind people

Just pops up randomly

Good at hiding

Can somehow fit into small spaces

Very flexible

Double jointed

Left handed

Anger is almost always silent; plots revenge

Very vengeful

Holds grudges

Has an amazing memory

Can think on her feet

Prefers routine

Can be very blunt

Not great at telling lies, tells half truths instead

Got A's and B's in school

Book smart, but not street smart

Had two black cats named Misery and Misfortune

Has befriended the crows by feeding them

The crows bring them little trinkets

Loves animals, especially the spooky ones (cats, rats, bats, owls, wolves, ravens, crows, snakes, spiders, moths, centipedes, as well as possums)

Favorite animal is bunnies

Favorite movie is The Ring

Favorite season is fall

Favorite holiday is Halloween

Full on cosplays for Halloween

Cosplays outside of Halloween as well

Loves candy and other sweets

Hates the taste of alcohol and coffee

Likes tea

Has taken edibles multiple times before

Often slams things without meaning to

Uses both slang and complicated vocabulary

Switches between using proper punctuation, capitalization, and spelling and ignoring it when posting as it's more chaotic

Tumblr shitposter

Made vines when it was still around

Can play the guitar (bass and electric) and piano

Doesn't quite know how to dance

Good at gardening

Offered to take care of the hotel's rose garden after seeing its neglected state

Is now the hotel gardener

Horrible at cooking

A literal hazard in the kitchen

Bad luck seems to follow them when she cooks

The food itself tastes either mediocre or terrible

Collects weird t-shirts

Humor is a mix of dark and surreal

Has a maniacal laugh

Stims by pacing, flapping hands, rocking, cracking neck (neg), and/or bouncing leg

Sleeps with arms crossed over their chest like a vampire (taught herself to do that as a kid and it became a habit)

Sleepwalks sometimes

Even creepier when they sleepwalk

Wanders around, stares at walls, crawls, says cryptic things, laughs

As a human she had brown hair that reached their back, pale skin, and occult blue eyes. She was 6'0, 6'5 with platforms. They wore a long black trenchcoat that reached the floor and a black T-shirt with a ghost on it. (The rest of her outfit was the same.)

Their full demon form has hollow black shadowy holes instead of eyes, a slit mouth that spans her entire face, long claws, and is 8 feet tall with long limbs and an echoing voice

Voice also echoes when being intense

Found the hotel shortly after arriving in hell. (Literally was just wandering around and stumbled upon it. They stopped to admire the little details, Vaggie noticed her through the window, Charlie went down to greet them, and the rest is history.)

Got a double degree in creative writing and digital art

Thinks she's pretty in a haunting way

Creative when it comes to insults and threats

Has an axe-shaped electric guitar and an axe-shaped bass guitar (literally Marceline's bass and Marshall's guitar)

VERY progressive

High Empathy

Music tastes consist of gothic rock, alt rock, punk rock, electric swing, and horror soundtracks

Parents introduced them to gothic rock and punk rock

Pirates movies

Thinks she is unlovable

Has trust issues

Assumes the worst in people

Despite this, you can win their trust by listening to her infodump

Never sits correctly

Feet on the couch, perching on the armrests or even back, crouching on the floor

Grew up agonistic

Dabbles in witchcraft (séances, tarot readings, tea leaf readings, and as a kid curses)

Always carries around a kitchen knife

Had a bobcut with bangs as a kid and wore the school uniform (white button up, black skirt, black tie) with black combat boots, black and white striped stockings, her black trenchcoat, and sharpie eyeliner

Used to explore abandoned places

Loyal to their friends

Cannot flirt or tell when someone is flirting with her to save their life

1920's outfit is a black below the knee dress with long cuffed sleeves, a grey sash, and a white collar with a white ribbon tied around it and small black heeled shoes with a strap.

Bedwear is a plain white short sleeved nightgown with her striped stockings

Never told their parents about being bullied because she didn't want them to worry

Told the teachers about being bullied but they ignored them, even when her parents got involved

Doesn't trust authority because of that

By the time they finally told her parents it was too late to do anything so they just had to push through until graduation

Killed her bullies because she couldn't live knowing they got away with what they did

Wore a ghostface costume to kill their bullies

Decided to name herself Lore because it "fits my new form"

Smells like freshly turned soil

Voice claim: Jamie from The Haunting of Bly Manor

Singing voice claim: Chibi from The Birthday Massacre/Ashley Serena/Emily Rohm

Relationships:

Alastor:

Best friends

He loves how weird she is

The only time he'll watch movies is with them

She likes showing him her favorite horror movies and infodumping afterwards

He likes spending time with her

Both have crushes on each other (He's uniromantic asexual; died at 29)

Lore assumes it's one-sided, thinking she's undateable

And Alastor loves them... Way too much

To the point of obsession

Drags her around everywhere

Definitely stalks them using his shadow

Watches her sleep

Will kidnap them eventually

Partly because he wants to keep her safe and partly because he wants them all to himself

Lore will be angry, scared, but also kinda into it (check feels unlovable)

Will probably try to make her become a cannibal like him, either by sneaking demon meat into their food, forcing her, or some other means

Charlie

One of their first friends

Sees that Lore is actually a kind person

Lore is not entirely sure her plan will work, but is supportive because that's what best friends do

Anyone who messes with her will face her wrath

Vaggie

One of their first friends

Accepts her weirdness as just who they are

Thinks each other are cool

Listen to goth music together sometimes

Has a bad feeling about Alastor's friendship with her

Angel

Creeped out by them

One of her main scaring targets

When he first met them he thought she was a ghost

Admires their chaoticness though

Will grow closer

In pain with her obliviousness with Al

Husk

Brushes them off as just a weird kid

A little worried about her friendship with Alastor

Nifty

Different flavors of weird

Forever confused about their gender

Hates when she tracks dirt in

Ships them and Alastor

Once wrote a fanfic about the two and showed her

It was smut

Lore enjoys her weird moments and finds her endearing

Sir Pentious

Scaring victim number two

Did not like him

Had not completely forgiven him for trying to betray them and kill them twice until he sacrificed himself

Katie Killjoy

Organized his funeral

Hates her

Reminds them of her old bullies

Slashed her tires after the interview

Tom Trench

Hates him because he's Katie's accomplice

Was the one that set him on fire (molotov cocktail)

Since Charlie was already taking care of Katie they went after him instead

Vox

At first did not understand why Alastor like her

Until he dug around online and realized "Ah... They're weird as shit nevermind."

Lore hates them because Alastor hates them

"My friends enemies are my enemies" type shit

Valentino

Hates him after Charlie told her what she saw at the studio

Had to hold themself back from fighting him after seeing him in the club

Lucifer

Always wanted to meet him

Still feels bad Charlie doesn't have a good relationship with him

Glad he's at least trying to fix it

Cherri Bomb

Lore brought weed gummies during their night out so she likes her

Rosie

Finds them charming

Endorses Alastor's obsession

Scene Inserts:

Adam

Hates him for attacking the Hotel and hurting her friends

Glad he's dead

Would dance on his grave if he had one

Lute

Also hates her for attacking the hotel and hurting her friends

Especially for killing Dazzle

Would NOT have shown mercy like Vaggie did

Pilot

Vaggie: It's all highlighted.

(Lore appears behind Vaggie, going from invisible to visible)

Lore: I think, you should scrap this, and just say Happy Hotel over and over again like a subliminal message.

Charlie: I'll just have to resort to my impeccable improv skills!

Lore: She does improv?

Charlie: Well, there's my friend Lore.

(The camera pans to Lore. She hisses.)

(The camera pans back to Charlie, slightly weirded out.)

Charlie: And someone named... Angel Dust.

Tom: WHY WON'T ANYONE HELP ME

(Lore learns into the frame, holding a lighter and smirking)

(Silence after argument in limo.)

Lore: I set a man on fire.

(The three turn and stare at her.)

Alastor: What do you do my dear?

Lore: Fester.

Charlie: She's the gardener.

Alastor: My what an intriguing lady you are.

Lore: I'm not a lady I'm a creature.

Vaggie: They mean she's Nonbinary.

(Alastor raises his eyebrow.)

Vaggie: Like identifies outside the gender binary.

Alastor: Ah! How delightfully chaotic!

Alastor: And what can you do my effeminate fellow?

Angel: I can suck ya dick.

Alastor: Ha! No.

Episode 1

Alastor: Founded five days ago by Lucifer's naive daughter Charlotte Morningstar!

Alastor: Enjoy riveting conversation with one of our two (Lore emerges behind the couch) residents! Wow!

Angel: We're in Hell toots. That's kinda the end of the road, ain't it?

Lore: He's right. Death is the end of the road. One long, winding road.

Angel: Why?

Episode 2

Alastor: Well, it looks as though I need a visit to the tailor. Lore, care to accompany me?

Lore: I don't like people.

Alastor: Then you'll only have to interact with me! (Loops his arm around hers) Best of luck, chums!

(After Stayed Gone)

Lore: Why am I here?

Alastor: Moral support!

Charlie: So... This is the bar and the bartender. And here is the garden and the gardener!

Lore: The roses aren't ready to be cut yet. If I find that you cut any, I will cut your fucking hands off your pathetic little body.

Charlie: She's joking.

Lore: No I'm not.

Vaggie: This is going to be your whole day! (Claps)

Lore: My turn:

Hello,

my name is Lore

I like blood

And guts and gore

Charlie: That's enough-

Lore: Reality is fake

Someone's going to die

In the lake

Vaggie: I'm sorry what.

Lore: You heard me.

Episode 3

Vaggie: Wow, you are slimy.

Lore: Like a worm. But not a cute one.

Episode 4

Husk: She was the weird kid who was bullied no matter how hard they tried to fit in, so she decided to just own it and commit to the title. Also never orders alcohol. And Nifty-

(After Charlie leaves)

(Silence)

Lore: You watch us sleep?

Pentious: Oh, not you. Alastor already watches you sleep.

Lore: He what.

Episode 5

Charlie: And this is Sir Pentious, Angel Dust, and Lore, our guests!

Sir Pentious: Your Majesty!!!

Angel: Hey, you short king.

Lore: This is my childhood dream come true.

(After explaining Alastor's backstory)

Lore: Sick.

Episode 7

Vaggie: They can be killed.

Lore: (standing up) I KNEW IT! (Sits back down, crossing arms and looking smug) There's almost always a weakness.

Sir Pentious: What? Do you think we're a bunch of pusssssies?

Lore: You two are my (smiles) best friends. You can't get rid of me that easily.

Husk: I just got used to you guys.

Episode 8

Alastor: It's been a surprising thrill to witness these wayward souls find connection. Always makes one sentimental, aye Niffty?

Niffty: I really like them, Alastor. They let me put on roach puppet shows without booing!

Lore: You know it's funny. Hell is the only place I was actually able to make friends.

Alastor: Ahh, an enjoyable collective to be around. I admit one could get accustomed.

Niffty: I dub thee, king roach!

Alastor: Oh, to understand your twisted little mind. Hahaha....

(They all laugh.)

Lore: Never change Niffty. Hey, can I be the roach jester?

Alastor: Hmm. I'd rather rule alongside you.

(He grabs her hand and kisses it.)

Lore: Oh.

(Beginning of battle)

Lore: Come and get me you fucking tar-and-feathered hypocritical bitches in a box! See how a ghost defends its haunt.

(Brandishes knives with hair)

Vaggie: New coat of paint!

Lore: New flowers

Husk: New lights across the marquee

Charlie, Vaggie, Lore, Husk: With a little sorcery

PLEASE feel free to send me asks about them!!!

[dropthedemiurge]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to other writers. Spread the self-love~ 🫶🏻

Thank you for the request, I finally got to it :D Five fics that I've written which are my favourite - (and I had to choose only those I've already finished, but a lot of my fav settings are in the long long chaptered poly fics x)) 1. Caught In the Downpoor – Sky/Rain, Love in The Air I love the entire trilogy I wrote because it was a silly whimsy idea that we had a lot of fun developing on discord and then I started writing it, and other people supported it too and now there are so many awesome SkyRain fics out there that absolutely fit my taste with ADHD, platonic bdsm and close friendship vibes. This is just such a comfort ghost ship for me that is popular enough to constantly return to xD I might even write fourth story for them one day! Who knows when inspiration hits but I'm not really done with those weather besties.

2. Young And Menace - Sand/Ray, Todd/Black, Not Me + Only Friends I love this one because crossovers of any Thai BL with Not Me is an amazing idea, in my opinion. And since we got to know Sand lived in the same building as Black, and we didn't get to see him using his bat, I took the headcanon of them being friends and ran with it xD Plus, I think, this story just poured out of me in one sitting and I didn't really know what was going to happen, but all of them ended up very emotional. And poetical. And I consider it well written so yeah, my fav!

3. I let you paint me in black - Black/|Yok, Not Me I am back with my Not Me fics and ghost ships :D We joked on NM discord that Yok definitely tried to get it on with all of gang members, and he's also the kinky one - meanwhile Black is on the violent side. I put handcuffs on Yok, gave Black some tools and played with them like dolls. And as expected, they had a lot of fun! This and its sequel fic are some of my short stories that I write in one sitting simply for an idea but I think I managed to capture some tension between these characters which I don't usually have in my stories.

4. Capturing the sight of a broken soul - Nick/|Sand, Nick/Boston, Only Friends Uh... I don't need to put a disclaimer about another ghost ship, do I? I just love platonic bonds and close friendship that are borderline romantic or touchy. And somebody needed to comfort Sand after everything he's been through! Come on! And Nick had to repay with his kindness and softness back. Also I challenged myself to write Boston's POV here which was... extremely fun! I was thinking how he and Sand could get to a more friendly side, and I think I found the way.

5. Boredom is a crime - Korn/Wai, Bad Buddy Last but not least, this was my first ever fic I wrote for Thai BL series. Which was on itself fascinating, as I haven't been really writing for years in my other kpop fandom. But meeting other fans and ficwriters, getting overwhelming support and attention for my works and forming community felt so inspiring that I started writing and drawing for myself and for fun again. It was also the time when I challenged myself to write coherent stories in English, and I practiced on BBS and NM. Also I should really write more (even more) asexual and ADHD characters... Anyway, Korn's POV is still my favourite and I had a lot of fun and it's a very important milestone.

It was a nostalgic journey, and I remembered once again what I love writing about. I never know what message do I give but I hope my stories are simply comforting or fun to explore for other people =)

I'm passing the torch to @ullvide @xagan @springkitten @doyou000me @wereflamingo-in-thai-dramaland (or tag me if you already did such post!)

[never-ending-fanfic]

FUCK YES.

Force Kallus

OCD

5+1 Zeb Singing

Five things the Spectres found out about Kallus and one he told them himself

As you want to friend :] (and then ima try and invade All My Love after our shift! I've been looking forward to that for awhile now!!)

Thank you for asking friends! 💛

5+1 Zeb+singing is here 🧡

Five things the Spectres found out about Kallus and one he told them himself is here ❤️

(There's a lot I have to say about OCD wip so I'm gonna post it in another post)

Alrighty, so Force Kallus is, like the title suggests, about Force-Sensitive Kallus

If someone is intrigued enough by that, here's the link to the first chapter I already published a while ago- if you don't want spoilers, I would advise not reading more of this post before you read the chapter 💛

a blind man needs no looking glass

Now back to the topic

The first few chapters are (or will be) dedicated mainly to Kallus' backstory- the first one already touches on his childhood and what part the Force played in it.

As a sewer rat/street kid in the lower levels of Coruscant, Alexsandr learned to be sneaky and quick in order to survive on his own- he knows how to steal, shoplift, pick pockets or even straight up convince someone to help him out with a credit of two. The last one especially requiers an ability he mastered as a kid- he looks the person straight in the eyes and concentrates fully on the tjings he's about to say, believes it fully as he says: "give me a credit" or "it wasn't me" when someone catches him shiplifting or emptying their pockets. They let him go, do nithing as he runs away with his prize. It helps him survive.

In the 1st chapter, he runs away from a shop he just stole a pack of ration bars from. He didn't have enough focus to make his trick work so now what's left for him to do it outrun the shopowner and he almost managed to do that- before he runs into some kid and spills the bars. And Alexsandr feels something strange in the air as he looks at the kid- and soon he feels it even stronger when some woman shows up and asks what happened, but before they can fully explain, the shop owner catches up. To help him out, the strange woman mives her hand in front of the man's eyes and convinces him to return to his work as if nothing happened- Alexsandr recognizes immediately that she's performing his trick. He connects the dots and realises that- no. Nope. Not yet. He's in denial.

After that, he swears off of using it ever again. He somehow survives a year or two without it.

Then one day something very painful explodes in the air, causing him to scream as his entire body twists in some strange pain- as if he was hearing thousands of people screaming all at once, he's so cold he feels like he's freezing, he can almost feel the physical pain the owners of the unbearable voices must be feeling to scream like that-

And then there's just... silence. Awful, deep silence, it's all so quiet he barely even hears his own thoughts. He stills and can barely hear his own heart that was beating so loudly a moment ago. He stays like that, laying on the floor, with tears on his face and the memory of pain fresh in his mind, for hours. But he feels nothing. Except that horrible coldness that never leaves.

He tries to forget that moment. In the Academy, in the Empire after that, he pushes it away and away but it never leaves him.

As he works for the Empire, he masks his Force-sensitivity well wenough to fool the Inquisitor, but it takes a huge toll on him. Even more so when he has to fool Vader. But he manages, he does it well and it's working, because well, he's still alive, isn't he?

He knows that the Force could help him catch the Rebels, he knows it will make him an even more valuable tool for the Empire, but he never let's anyone know about it.

Officially? Because he swore off using it a long time ago, he doesn't want to use it ever again after it caused him that awful feeling back when he was a child, when everything in the Galaxy went cold and quiet and still.

Unofficially? He's scared of what the Empire might do once they realise they have a Force-sensitive within their reach. But he doesn't admit it, even to himself.

When he meets Ezra, he dismisses the weird feeling, focusing on his work instead. When he meets Kanan, he feels that pull in the air again and he knows that Kanan is a Jedi a moment before he draws his lightsaber. To him, it just means that there are two more people he absolutely needs to catch (and two more people who he needs to mask in front of- if he can't have the Empire knowing he's Force-sensitive, he surely can't let the enemy know)

For now that's all I'll be giving you, I have some very brief ideas about what happend post-Atollon tho, so I might work on it and maybe post a new chapter after my exams are finished

[redhoodinternaldialectical]

Hastily Made, Very Lackidasical Body Count!

I just felt like counting up some numbers from stuff I've already read, cause I feel like for all of those memes where it's like 'what is each member of the batfam going to prison for' the answer is straight up all of them in for attempted or successful murder lmao not a single one of these birdies are innocent!

Stephanie Brown: 0 But not for lack of trying!

The Best Robin attempted to kill her dad, the Cluemaster. This was not spur of the moment either, she premeditated that shit and only Batman's influence (and threats) prevented her from going through with it!

Cassandra Cain: 1 but like, c'mon now, give her a break, she was only eight, we can't count that against her, and no court of law ever would either

Dick Grayson: 2 he is Very Sad about this

He's killed both Blockbuster and The Joker. To my knowledge, only one of those two ever got resuscitated!

Tim Drake: Uhhhhhhhhhhh Several. Like At Least Five. Also a Serious Attempt.

To be extremely conservative with our numbers we are going with just ONE ninja dead per base he blew up. Also worth noting: He very nearly goes through with an exceptionally premeditated murder scheme against Captain Boomerang. I'm legit not sure he wouldn't have done it if the other Bats weren't there.

Jason Todd: Maestro, please begin the benny hill music, cause we've got a count to roll through and it is loony toons long my ghouls!

Skipping dear Filipe's moldering corpse due to uncertainty, we start with Lost Days

Human Trafficking Truck Driver Ian, Egon, Steel Beam mercenary crew estimated at least five strong, three more of his teachers, eleven nameless russian mobsters, a cousin and a running buddy of a russian mobster: 23 people

Under the Red Hood

Eight heads in a duffel bag, four thugs with Freeze (Freezy boy does not die), Two confirmed on panel delivery man kills (Five-ten more suspected but we won't count em), Ten goons in the doorway when he swings the minigun on them as he and Onyx retreat, five more goons, Rocket launcher blast kills "most" of a security team with at least three members left so we'll call that three kills (far more deaths are implied), shoots a guy holding lit molotov catching him on fire, then kills Captain Nazi (yay), forces Black Mask to kill six of his men, and finally dear old Black Mask's PA is thrown through a window (his cycling class will miss him dearly): 41 people

That Time He Kidnapped Mia

Short and sweet, he just ices a pack of "brain donors": 5 people

Brothers in Blood

Two human traffickers, three more drug runner goons, two more goons later on: 7 people

Red Haired Foolishness Phase part one

Starting the running with two cops, lightning bug assassin, six mobstery big wigs, a guy, Flamingo: 11 people

Red Haired Foolishness Phase part two

Littleman Beaver's brother and his brother's fourteen goons, fifteen of his fellow inmates, then the grand poisoning of eighty-two people (well he poisoned more but we only get eighty-two confirmed as dead): 112 people

This is not even slightly a complete list, so consider this final number a lowball of:

One Hundred and Ninety-Nine people

as Jason's body count... at least pre-new52, don't ask me what's going on over there in modern canon, idk

All former Robins (that aren't from the future, a space starfish, not known to me personally, add more caveates as needed) have tried to kill someone at least once, but like, hot damn I'm pretty sure Jason is definitely still keeping his title as the murderous one of the bunch!

If someone knows more about Damian, I'd be happy to have his count added in, but like this is just a tumblr fun post and my ass needs to start cooking spaghetti, I don't got the time rn to start reading his stuff yet.

[ironstrange1991]

Strange Love (Part 3)

Pairing: Doctor!Strange x Fem!Reader

Synopsis: Tony is concerned about the state of Y/N and decides to ask Doctor Strange for help. Gradually, something more than friendship begins to sprout from the relationship between the two.

Word Count: 5k

Warnings: Mentions of past traumas, slight angst

A/N: Sorry for taking so long to post this. If it's any consolation, know that the next five chapters are already written and I hope to start posting them weekly. (I won't promise, though) Let's see what happens.

Chapter 3: Whole Again

“She's not getting better”  Tony Stark was starting to get worried about you. It had been almost a month since the tragic events in the basement and since then you had barely gotten out of bed, had barely eaten, and had not spoken to anyone.

“Maybe she needs more time, Tony” Pepper said trying to be understanding “Look at everything that happened, it's traumatizing.”

“Where's Strange?” Natasha asked “No one has seen him since that day.”

Tony shrugged “Kamar-Taj. Looks like it's in Nepal. Said he need time to get to know himself now that he have absorbed the other Stranger's powers. Honestly, it sounds very much like a mid-life crisis”

“She and Loki...” Natasha didn’t finished

“I don't know. It is possible that they broke up.”

Tony did not approve your relationship with Loki, but the abrupt way you pushed him away after Doctor Strange's death worried him. Several times Loki had tried to talk to you, but you refused to see him.

"Maybe we should take her to a doctor," Pepper suggested. "Maybe a therapist, someone she could talk to."

“No therapist in the world will be able to talk to her about the things that happened” Tony said discouraged  “I saw it and I'm still trying to believe it”

“All this has been out of the media until now and we want to keep it that way. Talking about these things with anyone outside can be dangerous”  Natasha said apprehensively.

Tony wasn't surprised by the calculating way Romanoff looked at things, and he had to admit that she was right.

“I just want her to get better, but my hands are tied. I do not know what to do.”

  ...

The hours passed before your eyes forming days, weeks, a month...

The memories haunted you, you couldn't believe everything that had happened, you were sad, but it was a strange sadness, it was a bitter and dangerous thing.

You were sitting in an armchair watching the fireplace on, it was daytime but all the curtains were closed.

Someone knocked on the door and you jumped. The door opened, it was Tony.

“I'm loving the new decoration of this place” He said looking at the apartment “Low light, no air, broken glass... I liked it.”

You did not answer.

He approached you “You've been here for four weeks, it's starting to make me nervous” He looked at you, his eyes wide open  “I'm... terrified actually.”

You continued in silence.

“Listen... I can't say I understand what you're feeling... at most I can make a poor comparison with when half the universe was dusted and I lost important people for 5 years... I had to deal with all this pain, but I imagine it's not the same thing for you.

You stared at him with red, swollen eyes. He sat on the couch next to you.

“What I'm trying to say is that I've lost several times... you know that better than anyone, but... at some point we have to move on. You are alive and I am sure that right now you didn’t want to be, but you are. So please listen to me, you need to go back living.”

He sighed putting his head in his hands, his elbows on his knees “It's all so strange out there, everything is so quiet, I've barely been able to work... I... I'm very worried about you. Please y/n, you know I love you, right?”

You looked at him and tears were streaming down your face  “Tony...”

He hugged you and you collapsed on his shoulder in tears.

 “It's okay, put it out.” He let you cry until you calmed down and then he touched your face, pulling your hair behind your ears and stroking it. “It's going to be okay. I know it’s hard but I am here for you. Always.”

He managed to convince you to take a shower and brought food, you sat down at the table, but at the first bite your stomach turned and you pushed the plate away.

He watched you sitting at the other side of the table apprehensively “You didn't like it, ok, I can order something. How about pizza? It’s your favorite, isn’t it?”

You shook your head.

“You need to eat or you'll get sick, please y/n, I'm trying here.”

He gave up trying to get you to eat after a while. He wanted you to come down, but you could barely walk and you were always so tired.

He didn't argue anymore and took you to your room when he realized it was the only thing you wanted. You lay down hugging the pillow. He sighed and sat on the bed leaning against the headboard and pulled you onto his lap. He stroked your hair, touched your forehead a few times.

“You'll get better”  He said apprehensively more to himself than to you “I'll make you feel better.”

   ...

“She's burning with fever” Tony said worried “I don't know what to do.”

“Tony...” Pepper was apprehensive “Maybe its time to take her to see a doctor. Grieve its hard and painful but this… this isn’t only grieve, she is giving up”

Tony ran a hand over his tired face “I'll take care of it“ He said getting up.

"You're not thinking about doing what I think you're going to do," Pepper said in disbelief

“She needs a doctor, you just said!”

Tony knocked on the door of the Sanctum Sanctorum and it opened by itself.

"Strange" he called into the empty, silent hall.

“Stephen Strange is not here at the moment”  Wong replied “Can I help you, Stark?”

Tony ran a hand over his nervous face “Hi Wong, I... I need to talk to Strange, it's... important.”

“Have you tried his cell phone?”

“Funny that you have a sense of humor with that face. Listen, I don't have time for cell phones, I need Strange, NOW”.

A portal opened in the middle of the hall as Tony spoke and Stephen Strange entered  “Stark?”

“You see” Tony said teasing Wong “That's what I was talking about. Cell phone, how absurd!”

Wong walked away leaving the two of them alone.

“What do you need, Stark?”

“You look different”  Tony said making fun as he stalled “You look a bit.. strange.”

“I've heard that joke more times than I could tell and it never gets funny”.

"You'll have to admit it's funny." Tony turned on his heel.

Doctor Strange looked at him apprehensively “What do you need?”

“She's not getting better” Tony said darkly “She doesn't eat, she doesn't get out of bed. This morning she had a very high fever.. I don't know what to do.”

Strange stared at the floor sighing “Tony, I don't think I'm the best person to help her right now.”

“Yeah, I know... that face of yours won't help, but she needs someone who understands and she needs a doctor. You are both. Please… I can’t lose her”

Stephen sighed “I will see her tonight.”

Tony sighed relieved “Thank you, Doctor.”

   ...

You were lost in some dark dream and you couldn't wake up and it was cold, very cold and your whole body was shaking.

“The fever is very high. She won't wake up until we get her temperature back to normal.”

Stephen... you could hear his voice, but he wasn't there. It couldn't be him. Stephen Strange was dead. It was all so dark.

    ...

“The serum will help hydrate the body and the intravenous medication will take effect faster, normalizing her body temperature.”

Stephen Strange was staring at her unconscious on the bed. He couldn't help but feel guilty that he hadn't been able to resolve the situation without going to the extreme end it had.

 “What happened to her, Strange?” Stark asked.

Strange sighed “Trauma manifests itself in different ways. She's been through a lot lately.” Strange could see the exhaustion in Tony Stark. He could fall sick as well if he wasn't careful.

“You should rest, Stark. You need to." The doctor touched Tony's shoulder “Or you will get sick too.”

Tony looked at you lying unconscious.

“I'll stay with her. I can’t leave her alone” Tony insisted.

“I will take care of her. I won't leave her side. I promise”

Stark nodded with another worried look at her and left.

Strange stood at the window watching the night. Something inside him seemed to react to all this strangely. Since receiving his powers, he felt more dangerous, more irritable, it was almost as if together with them he had absorbed traits of the other Doctor Strange's personality and that scared him.

Now as he watched her sleep he noticed that he felt a strange warm in his chest. Feeling uncomfortable with the intensity of that feeling , he left the room leaving the door open and sat in an armchair in the living room.

Those things inside him stirred in response to his unease. He spent the night there, taking turns between the living room and the bedroom. He measured the temperature from time to time and sighed more calmly when he noticed that it began to drop.

It was after 3 am when she finally woke up. He continued to sit in the armchair, watching cautiously. Something inside him said it was a mistake that he was the first person she saw, but there was no other person besides him at her bedside.

   ...

You looked around the dark room and soon noticed something in your hand, a needle connected to an IV bag. You ran a hand over your face and struggled to sit up in bed, but your body didn't respond as you expected, so you saw him watching you from the armchair at the back of the room.

“Strange...is that you?”

He stood up and then you could see his face.

“You woke up. Stark was getting worried.”

Your  heart soared at the sound of his voice and you had to force yourself to understand that this was the Doctor Strange of your  universe. The Doctor Strange you was completely in love with was dead.

 “What happened?”   You asked and your voice cracked as reality hit and memories came to your mind.

He approached the bed “The high fever and severe dehydration made you shut down. You blacked out for hours.”

You nodded without taking your eyes off him. It was impossible to see him the same way now and extremely painful to accept reality.

“Are you feeling better? I can increase the serum so it will end faster.”

Was he there as your doctor? He got up fiddling with the IV and then went to the bed side table and got a stethoscope.

“I will… “ You flinched at his approach and he pretended not to notice. He listened for a while and you watched him. His eyes were deeper and with light circles under them, he looked tired.

“Your lungs are fine, normal heartbeat” He said looking at you awkwardly “It was probably just a malaise due to your fragile emotional state.

You forced yourself to sit up again and he helped you and then to your surprise, he sat down next to you on the bed.

“What happened to you? You disappeared”  You asked, your voice was hoarse.

“I'm fine, do not worry.”

The sound of his voice could still make you tremble, if you closed your eyes it was as if the other Strange was still beside you.

“What... did they do to him?”

“We buried him...” He looked away. “We had to use another name, but I insisted that he had a decent funeral.”

Your eyes filled with tears.

“It wasn't your fault. He was obsessed and corrupted by loss. No one could have saved him.”

“I could have saved him.”

“Giving up your life, and all the people who love you. Y/n, that would not be fair.”

You went silent.

“I also carry some guilt for what happened”.  He sighed “If there wasn't a Doctor Strange in this universe he could have stayed.”

You stared in surprise, You didn't imagine he felt that way “It doesn't make sense!”

“No, it doesn't, but we can't change the way we feel, can we?”

You closed your eyes, a tear running down your cheek.

 “You're gone.”

“I went to Kamar-Taj to seek... knowledge so to speak. I spend some time there”

“And did you find what you were looking for?”

He stared his own trembled hands “Not Enough.”

“He gave his powers to you. He was the most powerful Doctor Strange in the multiverse and don’t ask me how I know that, I just know, and right now that is you”

“I wish he had also delivered the knowledge he acquired over the centuries... I don't know what to do with all this.”

“You have to protect us, it's your job. I know that something big is coming and I thought it was him, but its not, is another thing. I think you need to put yourself together Doctor and protect our reality, our universe. May be that was the reason of this all”

He sighed nodding and Tony knocked on the door entering the room. Stephen got up and stepped away from the bed.

“Hi.”

“You woke up” He smiled approaching you “It's good to see you better.”

“I'm sorry... I didn't mean to worry you.”

“Worry? I wasn't worried. Did the Doctor think I was worried?”

Stephen smiled, that was so rare  “He was worried. He was desperated”

“Look, she's smiling, it's an evolution” Tony smiled relieved and you felt guilty for having made him go through all of that.

“She needs to rest” Strange said authoritative is his Doctor mode  “No leaving the house for the next few days. I'll prescribe a medication and a vitamin, soon you'll be feeling much better.”

“I thought you'd give her some kind of potion, you know, some wizard thing.” Tony teased

Doctor Strange walked away writing in a small notebook of recipes ignoring Tony and looked at you smiling “If you need me, you know where to find me.”

“I accompany you Doctor to…”

“It won't be necessary”  He opened a portal and went through it.

Tony stared in disbelief “This guy doesn't care about good manners of etiquette.”

“Tony...”

He sat down next to you and looked at you apprehensively.

“I'm sorry for everything that happened.”

“There is no need to apologize,  you weren't to blame for anything.”

You went silent and so was he. An anxious silence.

“I wasn't going to ask... but I can't stand it...”

“What?” You said without understanding what it was about.

“How did you do that? You not only got rid of Friday's commands, you took control of her functions... I was curious to say the least.”

You sighed, thinking that the best thing was to tell the whole truth”

“Before coming to NY I only had dreams and these sensations and sometimes I heard voices. It was how I knew about you, all of you.”

He nodded.

“Since I got here these skills seem to have expanded exponentially. First it was with Loki, I mentally called to him without even knowing what I was doing and then the visions started and now... I didn't know I could do it, I just did it.

"Telepathically you mean." He didn't seem to believe what he was hearing.

“Yeah. I... managed to access the AI ​​code with my mind. I managed to get into her programming and recalibrate her to respond to me as well.

He smiled seeming to find it all unbelievable “You hacked my AI with your mind... I shouldn't, but I'm proud.”

He made you chuckled. Only Tony could make that after everything.  It was amazing how Tony always managed to make you feel better.

“You saved my life” He said regretfully “I... don't know how to thank you.”

“Your life wouldn’t being in need of saving if I hadn't put everyone here at risk at first place.”

He sighed getting up “You see, that's what you do, you blame yourself for everything, for things that weren't your fault.”

“I should have gone with him..”

“And would you have left me?”  He said challenging you “You say you love me, that I'm everything to you, right? Wrong, because at the first opportunity you were going to walk away and leave me here.

Your eyes filled with tears “I'm sorry, I know I'm wrong... I... I love you Tony, I don't...”

He agreed “Apologies accepted. That said, I'm not going to accept this talk of fate anymore, you understand? We stay together, you and I, whoever wants to separate us is the enemy, do you understand that?”

You nodded and there you stayed cuddled in  your bed and you felt that there were nowhere else where you could be safer.

…

Two weeks have passed since the day Doctor Strange needed  to go to your rescue. He had visited you at other times as a doctor. It was always awkward situations, but you were grateful to him for all the support he gave you.

 You finally felt ready to get out of that apartment. You showered, changed, and went downstairs to the workshop where Tony was absently working. You missed your afternoons working together.

“Need help?”

He smiled.

You helped Tony repair the combat-damaged nanotechnology device. You both spent the whole afternoon there, talking and eventually the subject would have to come up.

“I haven't seen Loki since the last time he came here and you refused to talk to him. I was worried that something might have happened between the two of you.”

You sighed.

“You don't have to say anything if you don't want to, I know it's none of my business, I'm just... I'm worried about you, I'm walking on eggshells here.”

You sat on the floor turning the screwdriver that was in your hand

“He... well, I... asked him for some time. To think, to put everything in order in my head, your know”

Tony looked surprised “Some time, nice...very grown up of you. And what did he say?”

“He was upset, I think I hurt him. I haven't spoken to him since then. And I don’t think I will.”

Tony sighed “Ah this is... complicated. I imagine that as a prince he isn't used to losing. You know that guy wanted to rule an entire planet.”

“I don't... “ You hesitated a little to speak.

Tony walked over and sat on the floor next to you.

“After everything that happened with Strange, the way I felt for him... I don't think I could just erase it all and pretend that nothing happened.”

“Strange explained to me a little of this... thing that happened to you. What madness!”

“Yeah” You chuckled nervously “Everything's still here Tony. It's a little difficult to tell what's real and what's not. I couldn't go on with Loki while I was feeling this way. It wouldn't be right.”

He put his hand on your shoulder “You did the right thing. Stopping, thinking, putting everything in place before taking the next step.”

You shook your head “Then why do I still feel like I failed him?”

Tony looked at you regretfully “Loki will get over it. And soon you'll feel better and you'll be able to pick up where you left off.”  He grimaced  “It's so weird that you have a relationship with the guy who tried to kill me years a go”

You let out a small laugh and were surprised to still be able to laugh “It seems like an eternity ago. Things would be easier if our problem was still Loki trying to rule the planet”

Tony grinned, looked relieved, and again you felt bad for putting him through all that in the last few weeks. “You're right.” He got up and gave you his hand. “Enough of talking, let's get to work.”

…

That night Tony insisted that you should have dinner together. Rhodes was present and you talked normally about anything that didn't involve the tragic fight in the basement.

“I was with the Secretary of State yesterday” Rhodes began “He is adamant about the Accords.”

“Accords? The Sokovia Accords?” you asked confused.

“No” Tony replied “ The Sokovia accords is gone. This one is a little more... flexible so to speak.”

“The current accord requires all persons with special devices or abilities to identify themselves as such and respond to the government in cases of conflict.” Explained Rhodes.

You stiffened. "Doesn't seem so different from the other"

“Don't worry” Tony said to you immediately “Nobody knows about your... abilities and I intend to keep it that way.”

You agreed. Rhodes seemed to disagree. “She needs to be registered, Tony.”

“She won't fight, she doesn't need to.”

Rhodes sighed “What about the wizard?”

Your heart skipped a beat at the mention of Doctor Strange and you mentally scolded yourself. It needed to stop. He was someone else entirely. Well, not really. Things got a little messy inside your head.

“Sorcerer” Tony replied  “I think it's the correct term, I don't know.”

Pepper was silent, perhaps worried about the direction of the conversation. She kept looking at you like she was checking your reaction all the time.

“Ross wants him to register himself right away.”

“Oh he's going to love this” Tony put his hand on his face “Technically he was never part of the Avengers, so...”

“Tony it doesn't matter, everyone saw him fighting in NY. Everyone knows him.”

Tony sighed “I'll try to talk to him.”

“I think it's a big waste of everybody's time” You said without holding back. They stared at you. “The order of the Masters of Kamar-Taj protects this city, this planet, this dimension and universe long before the Avengers dreamed of joining. Doctor Strange will not agree to sign this... document. And he doesn’t have to, he is above it all.”

“Ross is not kidding...” Rhodes said preoccupied

“Will they try to force him?” You asked sounding more petulant than you intended. “Strange is not Rogers, they won't want to get in trouble with him.”

Tony rolled his eyes “Yeah, because now he is a super sorcerer with super magical powers”

“Tony, can you stop joking, this is a serious matter” Pepper asked annoyed. “ The idea was to have a calm and decent dinner and you both…” She stared to Tony and Rhodes “… are ruining it”

“Okay, no one will fight with anyone, I'll talk to him.” Tony promised

“And enough of this conversation.” Pepper demanded.

…

You were too restless to sleep and didn't want to be alone, but it was late at night.

Contrary to any notion of self-preservation, you slipped out of the tower and took a taxi to the nearest cemetery. Not all NY cemeteries was open at night, but some few were and you needed to find him, to say your last goodbye. You walked through the graves not knowing what you were looking for in the dark, but there was something in your mind pulling you forward so you knew you were in the right place and then you found him.

Stephen Strade. The headstone was new, the grass growing where the soil had been turned. It could be a coincidence, but something in your mind told you were in the right place.

You looked around at the empty cemetery illuminated only by the moon that was full and yellow that night. You sat there on the floor. The memories coming through your mind, all the times he swore he loved you and his melancholy apology.

Your heart overflowed with desperate sadness and you began to sob and you talked to him like he was still by your side.

“I'm sorry Stephen… I am so, so sorry.”

You were so distracted by your own crying that you didn’t hear someone approaching, it could be anyone.

“It's a little late to visit cemeteries, don't you think?”

You stared at Doctor Strange dressed casually in jeans, a gray tshirt, and a long-sleeved shirt on top.

“I could not sleep.” You said wiping the tears from your face.

He approached you  “Next time let me know and I can medicate you, I'm sure it's safer than walking around NY past 1am.

“I wanted to see him.”

“How did you know he’d be here?”

“I didn't know, but I... felt”

Strange agreed.

You got up, beating the sand off your clothes “It doesn't make much sense, does it? He is no longer here with us.”

Strange sighed closing his fists“I'm not so sure.”

You stared without understanding.

“Come on, I'll take you home.”

You hesitated. He seemed to understand and extended his hand to you “Come on”.

We entered the Sanctum Sanctorum and everything was quiet. The place was a little scary at night.

“May I offer you some tea?”

You agreed and he went ahead and you followed him. Arriving in the kitchen, you sat by the table. Strange used his magic to make tea and it was fascinating to watch him to do those things. He sat across from you handing you a cup.

You sipped and remained silent.

“Tony called me earlier today and said you got better, he seemed confident.”

You smiled nervously “ I've been trying to show that I'm fine in front of him, in fact I'm trying hard to get better for him.”

“Why?”

You went back to taking a sip of your tea “I don't want to worry him. Tony has a lot to worry about, I don't want him to worry about me too.”

“But he does, a lot. He likes you. You are very important to him.”

You smiled “And he is important to me”

Strange agreed, his both hands was crossed over the table “I never understood your relationship. What you are to each other. I know it’s none of my busyness”

You couldn't help but smile. Talking about Tony made you feel good “I love him. More than I ever loved any man. He is the great love of my life...”

Doctor Strange looked perplexed and you pretend you didn’t notice his confusion.

“... he's my father, my brother, an uncle, I don't know... Tony is all that and none of that at the same time, he's my best friend, the person I trust the most in this world.”

He smiled, trying to seem understandable, but he clearly doesn't understand what you were getting at with your answer. “I'm glad you found each other and that you feel that way about him.”

You agreed and he sipped his tea in silence and then as if he couldn't help himself, he asked “And Loki...”

You looked away.

“I'm sorry” He said embarrassed “I don't want to intrude, I just remembered that Tony mentioned that he hadn't seen him in a while and...”

“I haven't seen Loki in weeks, I needed some time.”

He sighed and you were wondering if it was a smile you saw on his face for a second.

He finished his tea “It's not hard to imagine his reaction. He is Loki after all”

“I hurt him, I'm not proud of it, but I think it was the best thing to do for now. I'm still very confused by everything that happened.”

He agreed.

"You seem to have come out of this a little better, assuming you're as good as you look."

“I'm not good at showing feelings.”  He said sighing “Or we can put it this way: I'm very good at not showing feelings.

You nodded understanding very well what he meant.

 “I spent a few weeks at Kamar-Taj. I read what I could about what seemed to suit my situation, but...”

You waited. Your tea long forgotten and cold.

“There is nothing in any book that explains what he did. However he did it, it has never been done in our universe until now.”

“Are you referring to when he gave his powers to you?”

He shook his head no “A simple transfer or drain spell. Highly dangerous, but simple. The question is this…”

He showed his hand and closed his eyes concentrating and in a second it turned into a tentacle right in front of you and his eyes turned red. He forced it back to normal getting embarrassed. “I don't know what this is. I can control it. I am really good at it and some masters told me this could be a valorous weapon against enemies, but I am afraid…”

You sat silently wondering whether or not to mention what you witnessed at the London Sanctum. In the end you decided it was best to be honest and tell what you knew. “In London, in the Sanctum, he fought this thing. I saw it.

“Did he defeat it?”

You denied “He absorbed it. It entered his body.” You sighed “He believed that these things died when he did that, but it seems that they became part of him, a living part inside of him. Suddenly you are not only one, your are a legion.”

Strange agreed “I would like to know how to get rid of it. It's been exhausting trying to keep these things under control.”

“He said it was a curse. I think you will have to learn how to live with it.”

Strange sighed and then changed the subject. “You told Loki what happened between you and...

“Almost everything.”

He was silent and you wondered why he insisted on talking about Loki.

“So you didn't say that...”

“That I slept with him? Yes, I did. That I fell in love with him? No, but fuck it, it doesn't matter anymore.”

To your complete surprise, he smirked. A cocky smirk “Hard to imagine those words coming out of your mouth.”

“You don't know me that well, Doctor”

“I would like to know.”

You were surprised and felt your face heat up. A tension enveloping you both. It made you uncomfortable and you felt the need to get up and step away.

“I think I better go. Tony might be worried.”

He got up too “Oh sure, we don't want to worry Tony Stark.”

You smiled a little sheepishly “Thanks for the tea and the conversation, Strange

“Come whenever you want, I like the company” He smiled “And please, call me Stephen.”

You agreed your cheeks a bit more red than before.

He opened a portal to your apartment.

“Good night, Stephen.”

The portal closed as you passed it and you stood there feeling something you wasn't quite sure what it was.

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