#I’ve never received that much attention on anything before it exhausted me !

[frenchkisstheabyss]

♡ Ｓｗｅｅｔｅｓｔ Ｐｉｅ ♡

♡ Pairing: sex worker!mingyu x chubby!fem!sex worker!reader

♡ Genre: smut/fluff

♡ Word Count: 3.2k-ish

♡ Summary: While spending the weekend at a mansion in the Hollywood Hills, a risky late night comment of yours draws the attention of your crush who happens to be in the same city and wants to see if you're all talk or about that action.

♡ Warnings: you're both spicy content creators, drinking, unprotected sex, Gyu's dick is kinda really huge, size kink for sure, stretching, riding, rough sex, doggystyle, clit play, ass slapping, oral sex (m receiving), cum eating/swallowing, dirty talk, switch Gyu/reader

♡ A/N: I usually put a sweet artistic statement in this space but I don't have a sweet artistic statement. I have a hot girl playlist and Mingyu's existence which is exactly how we ended up here. It's Mingyu, for the love of goddess, can you blame me?

This was never where you thought you’d end up. When you joked with your best friend, a successful OnlyFans girl, about starting one if your job kept working your nerves you hadn’t imagined actually doing it. Yet here you are, 8 months after that tipsy girl’s night, with a hefty following on social media and enough subscribers to never have to set foot in that job ever again. 

Like any other job it has its ups and downs but having your best friend there to help you navigate it early on makes it feel like lightwork now. Plus it’s so easy to ignore your haters when your bank account’s as stacked as it is.

For the first time in your life it’s optional to check pricetags, you can literally have whatever you want. Some things you don’t even have to pay for, they’re just dropped in your lap simply because you are who you are. 

That’s precisely how you scored yourself a weekend at this million dollar home in the Hollywood Hills. You’d passively mentioned during a custom video for one of your fans how hot you found it that he owned so much property.

“I’ve never played with my pussy in a mansion before” you pouted cutely, a vibrator whirling away inside you on its lowest setting. It wasn’t hint dropping as much as you wanted to stroke his ego but he took it as a chance to impress you, offering you a getaway at one of his places while he went on vacation for business. 

You’d be doing him a favor, he insisted, because he hated to leave the place empty for so long. The ego boost was more than enough compensation on his part that he didn’t feel like you owed him anything. Good because as a rule you do not fuck customers. You don’t even do content with other people in your industry. Everything’s solo. Always.

“Show us the top but off” you giggle, reading through the comments on your Instagram live. You do a quick spin, showing off your barely there bikini top. “There it is but it’s not coming off. You guys are gonna get me banned.” 

You only arrived a few hours ago and, exhausted from travel, decided that you’d rather spend the night in the jacuzzi out back than venture out to some crowded bar. This weekend is about relaxation after all and what’s more relaxing than sipping champagne in this warm bubbling water under the starry night sky?

It began to feel a little lonely though, you’re so used to having your best friend with you on these trips, so you decided to prop your phone up on the edge of the hottub and go live for a little bit. 

Reading through the comments, you get caught up in conversation about a million random topics. There’s suggestions for the best restaurants in LA, debates over if aliens are real or not, and even a quick KPop Smash or Pass game before someone brings you to a topic that has your heart thumping harder than an EDM festival.

Your rule on sleeping with other creators is a hard “No”, this everyone already knows, but when it comes to one man in particular that rule’s nonexistent. 

100_karat_xo Gyu saw your retweet 👀 youngxkwonskitty He’s coming over here aaaaaah!!!

You nearly choke on your next sip of champagne, watching the chat go wild as the memory of a recent drunken retweet hits you like a wrecking ball.

Your introduction to who Kim Mingyu was had been innocent enough. You were scrolling your feed one night and saw a video of a bunch of guys dancing. They were just fucking around really but they were genuinely talented and hot as hell so you had to do a little independent research to figure out who they were. 

Mingyu was the one who caught your eye the most with his beautifully tanned skin and a face so gorgeous it hurts to look at. It only worsened the situation when you stumbled upon his spicy account and found out he had the deadly combo of a body Greek gods would envy and a cock that’d have you walking funny for days. Who needs to walk straight anyway? You followed him on everything immediately, nearly died when he followed you back, and it’s been non stop flirting since. 

The two of you even ran into each other at a few parties where things would almost get hot and heavy but never ventured beyond a cute little makeout session. It’s painfully obvious both of you want something more though.

The most recent evidence came when Mingyu posted a video of himself seated in a chair facing a mirror wearing nothing but a pair of gray sweatpants. No shirt, nothing under the pants, just that muscular sunkissed chest and a mouthwatering dick print. 

You were weak in the knees from the sight of that alone but when his hand started moving in his lap, his palm smoothing over the long, thick print, you went feral. Mingyu’s caption asked, “Who does this belong to?” and the shots of Soju in your system that night had you responding, “Me!” before you could think better of it. That was a week ago and you must’ve pushed it to the back of your mind because you haven’t thought about it since. But Mingyu has. 

“Coming over here? What do you mean?” you ask, slinking down into the water as if it’ll somehow make you invisible. You get your answer immediately when a familiar name appears in the chat. 

dongangu.daddy Hey beautiful

“Mingyu! Stop! What are you doing here?” you squeal, a hand thrown over your mouth to hide the uncontrollable smile his arrival brings to your face. As if there’s a way to conceal how giddy you are over this man. Two words from him and your whole aura changes. You were glowing before but now you’re radioactive.

jeonghanssimp95 my worlds collide omfg _horanghaeheaux_ Can you both marry me?

dongangu.daddy has requested to join

Your eyes widen at Mingyu’s request, not expecting to be put on the spot like this. It’s not that you don’t want to see him. You’d look at that face every day if you could—beside you, on top of you, under you—but you’re mortified of swooning over him in front of this many people. 

Finally deciding that your retweet did all it could do to expose you for being down bad for Mingyu, you dry your hands on a nearby towel and accept his request. Another screen pops up below yours. There’s some darkness at first, a few seconds of shuffling, and then Mingyu’s displayed in all of his bare chested glory. 

“Why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?” he teases, shifting to a more comfortable position in bed. Of course he had to be shirtless. Of course he had to be in bed. Fuck your sanity. 

Your brain has to shake off a five second delay before you can answer. “You just got on and already you’re picking on me. I’m about to revoke your privileges, sir.”

Mingyu laughs off your comment, confident that you’re bluffing. You are. “No, don’t do that. I’m sorry” he pouts, raking his fingers through his short dark hair, “I just expected you to be happier to see me.”

“I am happy to see you but you can’t come on my live talking your shit.”

“I thought you liked it when I talk my shit” he smiles, recalling all of the X rated texts you’ve exchanged over the past few months. 

You shrug, mindlessly twirling your hair, “Talking is cute buuut actions are better.” 

The true meaning of “action” is clear for you both. Mingyu’s wanted action with you from day one, spam liking your posts the moment he saw that you followed him. You had the prettiest face, the sweetest smile, and your body was so soft and plush he couldn’t stop fantasizing about getting his hands on you. You were even more irresistible in person and that knowledge has had him on a mission to make you his ever since. A mission he’s not willing to give up on easily.

“Action? I can do that. I heard you’re in LA” he says, the white sheet around him falling away as he sits up in bed, “I am too. If you aren’t busy, maybe we could see each other tonight.”

“Oh, y-you wanna see me? And do what?” you stutter, going in for another nervous sip only to find that the glass is empty. You were not prepared to be this thirsty for a drink or for him. 

Mingyu tucks his bottom lip between his teeth, eyes flicking down to take in what he can of your figure peeking out from the water. His heart begins to race, his cock stiffening at the way your lush breasts bob above the surface, droplets of water decorating your cleavage like diamonds. 

“You tell me, babe. What do you wanna do?” 

His question soaks your bikini bottoms with a new type of moisture, your pulse already racing. What do you wanna do? With Kim Mingyu? What don’t you wanna do? 

“Gyu, aaah, fuck. It’s so…so…mmm” you whine, sinking lower onto Mingyu’s cock.

Your fingers trace his abs, your pink and blue ombre acrylics nicking his skin as your pussy relaxes to take the next inch of his cock. You’d seen it in pictures, even felt his bulge once or twice in person, but having him inside of you? Nothing could’ve prepared you for this stretch or for how full you’d feel after only a few inches. There’s still a couple more to go and you’re already shaking like you’re ready to cum. 

“Keep going, baby. You’re taking it so well” he praises, hands cradling your hips to help you take him at your own pace.

He isn’t in a rush to fuck you. That was never an intention of his. Mingyu’s more than pleased to lay here with you in bed, your fluffy thighs snug around his waist, and enjoy the view from below. And what a view it is. The faces you make are too cute for words. They make him want to hold you close and protect you from the rest of the world. At the same time, they’re the sexiest thing he’s ever seen. And, coupled with those little whines of yours, they give him the ravenous urge to fuck your brains out. Every last cell. 

“Don’t wanna wait anymore” you moan, leaning back with your arms behind you, palms resting on his legs. “I need it all.” 

He smooths his hands down your thighs and back up again, “Anything for you.” 

One thrust of his hips and you’re seeing stars. Mouth wide open. Eyes watering. It’s the fullest you’ve ever felt and you can only piece together a string of broken moans as your body adjusts to the new sensation. 

Mingyu smiles up at you, beaming with pride at what he’s done to you. “Too much for you?” he teases, his thumb stroking a solitary tear away from your cheek. 

You shake your head, never the kind of girl to reject a challenge. Breathing in deep, you steady yourself, raising your hips and slowly lowering them back down in a motion that has his eyes rolling to the back of his head. 

“Oh god, fuck” he groans not just at how perfectly your walls hug him and not just at you being wet enough to make that hottub outside look like the desert. Every move you make hits the perfect spot, your body titled at the exact angle required to make him feel like you’re stealing his soul straight from his body.

Keeping your pace, you lean forward and lick your way up his abs, sprinkling kisses across his chest. Mingyu can pretend that it doesn’t tickle in a way he likes much more than he thought he would but his body’s a dead giveaway. His muscles contract beneath your kisses, his length pulsing against your walls. You can almost hear his heart pounding through his chest. 

“Too much for you?” you taunt, smiling up at him, your walls purposefully clenching even tighter around his cock. 

Mingyu bites his lip, staring down at you like a meal he’s prepared to devour. The fire in his eyes makes your heart jump. Teasing him back has consequences and you can tell you’re about to suffer them. 

“Nah, I want more” he growls and two strong arms close around your body, one at your back and the other at your waist. Keeping you flush against his chest, he spreads his legs and buries himself even deeper into your needy core. If you thought you were seeing stars before, there's galaxies now. 

Mingyu holds you like he loves you, cradling you gently while he fucks you like he hates you, and with your arms pinned to your sides all you can do is take it. Waves of heat wash over your figure, the tingling of your nipples brushing his chest sending sparks through your system. There’s no talking back now, only fragments of his name rolling from your tongue. 

“M-min…” you whine, crumbling as the thick head of his cock bumps your sweet spot. You can feel his warm precum leaking into you, mixing with your arousal to make every movement all the smoother. 

“M-min” he coos, reaching a hand up to brush away the hair sticking to your pretty face, “Having a hard time talking back, sweetheart?”

Your eyes are hypnotizing on a regular day but he must admit that there’s something special about seeing them so dazed and glossed over all for him. He grabs the back of your neck with just the right amount of pressure, lifting you away from him enough that he shifts angles inside of you. It’s such a small change in position but it’s more than enough to have you squirming, mindlessly rocking your hips against his. 

“I didn’t know I had such a greedy girl on my hands” he says, tracing your jaw with feathery kisses. In a split second the room’s spinning on its head and you find yourself face down on the sheets with your arms held behind your back.

Mingyu slaps your ass and the sting gets you up on shaky knees. He doesn’t even need to tell you what he wants because you want it too. Teasing his cock at your entrance, he takes his time savoring the way that your juices drip all over him, your pussy already clenching in anticipation.

He runs the head along your slit, dipping it up to roll across that perky little clit of yours. He keeps you like this so long you’re drooling onto the pillow, clenching and dripping down his length and he isn’t even inside of you yet. 

Not one to be outdone, you drop your hips down, slipping him right up to your entrance. You sink back on him an inch or so, popping his head right inside of you. You hear a sharp inhale and feel his body give out on him for a second. You move your hips in a circular motion, teasing him with the sight of you stretching yourself open with his cock.

“I thought you said you wanted more” you giggle, shaking your ass in the cutest way. 

Mingyu slaps it again, gripping your hips, “So she can still speak. We gotta change that.”

He slams into you and you cry out at the force of his thrust. The aftershock has your body humming but there’s no time to soak it in. Mingyu doesn’t stop, doesn’t let up even a little bit. He’s feral for you. Already addicted to the feeling of you wrapped around him. 

Keeping your wrists pinned, he reaches around to massage your clit, and your knees almost give out. He catches you before you can collapse, keeping you right where he wants you. Gripping the pillow, you bite down hard, screaming as loud as you want into the soft cotton while he deep strokes you to the brink of insanity. 

It’s not long before a familiar feeling’s tugging at your stomach. You’re like a bottle of champagne, all shaken up and ready to pop. Mingyu rubs your bud faster, kissing the small of your back, “You gonna cum for me, baby? Hmm?”

Your body answers before your words can, jiggling in all the right places while you cum harder than you ever have. The clench and release of your walls as you gush down your own thighs drags him closer to his own high but he’s not ready yet. He has to keep thrusting into you, playing with your pussy until your body’s spent. 

For a moment it seems as if he’s achieved his goal. Reeling from your high, your whole body gives into the mattress and you’re stuck there, letting out the sweetest whines with his cock still inside of you. But that moment’s fleeting and in a few seconds you’re back up on your knees, whipping around to take his cock into your mouth. 

You don’t hesitate to take all of it into your mouth, not gagging once as you rub it against the back of your throat. If the gasps and moans coming from overhead are any indication, your tongue wrapped around his cock has him wrapped around your finger. You feel around blindly until you find his hands, intertwining your fingers with his. Your tongue traces the veins of his shaft, feeling the blood rush to the head throbbing at the back of your throat. 

The taste of your mixed arousal floods your senses as it drips from the corners of your perfectly pursed lips. You sneak a peek up at him. That gorgeous face. Those muscles dripping with sweat. His body jerks and you easily pick up on the signs, slipping him out of your mouth at the perfect time for him to cum all over your tongue and those plush, puffy lips. You take him into your hands, stroking him until you’ve gotten every last drop. Licking your lips clean, you kiss the tip and lay back in bed, bringing him down with you.

Mingyu cozies his head up to your belly, his chest heaving for air, “Where’d you learn to do it like that?”

“I don’t know, maybe I’m just gifted” you sigh, brushing your fingers through his hair. 

“Well, whatever you did, just know it’s yours now” he says, propping his chin up to gaze at you. 

“Mine? What’s mine?”

“I asked who this belonged to.  You said it’s yours. Unless you don’t want it…”

“No! No! No!” you scramble, your cheeks warming up again, “It’s mine! It’s mine! I’ll take it.”

Mingyu raises an eyebrow, using his last bit of energy to crawl on top of you, “You’ll take it again? So soon?”

He spreads your legs, dipping his fingers between your legs and you’re still dripping wet. He presses up against you and you giggle feeling how hard he still is.

“You did say it’s mine” you smile, legs wrapping around his waist, “So give it to me.”

[cultofdixon]

Plagued by the horrors of the past

Daryl Dixon • She/Her Pronouns • All Daryl wants to do is make sure his pregnant partner remains safe, even from the nightmares • ANGST/SFW • TW: Pregnancy / Nightmares / Minor Injuries

Requested by: Anon

Eeny…WACK

Meeny…WACK

Miny…WACK

Negan stopped right in front of Y/N gripping the handle of Lucille with both hands.

“Moe” and right before the bat met her skull

Y/N opened her eyes feeling the tightness in her chest grow worse but she relaxed slightly when feeling her husband secure his arm around her middle just above her bump. She gently tapped his arm indicating for him to let go so she could get up and pee. At least that’s what Daryl thinks.

But all she did was sit on the edge of the bathtub holding her belly and thinking about her nightmare.

It’s been happening since she found out she was pregnant. Along with a million other things that made her feel guilty since the end of the Savior’s war.

How could you?

How could you be happy and pregnant with a loving husband when your best friend lost hers?

He will never get to see his son grow up.

Never get to hold his loving wife at night and whisper sweet nothings to her.

Same with Abe and Sasha.

They never got the life they wanted to share with each other.

But you did.

Isn’t that selfish?

“Sunshine…”

His voice startled her slightly as she lifted her head showing the exhaustion written all over her face.

“Are you feeling alright?” Daryl knelt on the cold tile positioning himself in front of her and resting his hand on her belly which brought out a more concerned look. “She giving you trouble?”

“No she’s perfect…and I’m just. Tired” Y/N sighs running her hand through her hair as she watches Daryl bring himself back to a standing position, extending his hands to her.

“I don’t think being in here will help much with that” Daryl knew about the nightmares. He tries to help in any way without addressing it because Y/N would deny that she’s not ok. Constantly telling him she’s fine.

He knows she’s not.

Y/N did manage to get at least three hours in before she received a hard kick in the ribs which woke her that time. Besides it was the now morning instead of late in the night when she woke so time to do things around the place. Even if Daryl tells her not to do a lot of things. But to his surprise…

“I think you should take it—-“

“I’m gonna lay in bed for a bit longer…don’t let me hold you back from your day, Dar” Y/N didn’t see the worry in his face when she said such, even if it’s what he wanted. For her to take it easy.

Daryl readjusted himself to lean against the headboard noticing Y/N inch closer when he did such. He brought his arm around her shoulders leading her to lay on him and while she was hesitant at first, she didn’t care for much long and brought herself to lay on him.

“You won’t be late for anything?”

“Don’t got stuff til the afternoon.” Daryl gave her a soft smile that she didn’t see. But it was obvious to why. Y/N fell back asleep in his embrace, snuggling closer when she felt his lips press a soft kiss to her hairline. He did have stuff in the morning. But didn’t care.

When it came to actually help around the community, Daryl kept his attention on Y/N whenever he saw her while he helped Aaron fix the gate mechanism. Aaron would glance over every time Daryl did and that would spark a few things.

“How far along?”

“What?”

“Y/N. When are you going to experience the joys of a baby like I’ve been experiencing?

“Didn’t you say Gracie projectile vomit on your shirt this morning?”

“Yeah…but there are other things” Aaron laughs handing Daryl the new wheel. “You can see the exhaustion on Y/N’s face so she must be far”

“Six months, and it ain’t cuz she’s carrying” Daryl knelt to the floor with what he needed to replace the gate wheel. “She hasn’t been sleeping”

“No? Think she’d need a sedative? I bet you Siddiq can find something that will be fine for her and the baby” Aaron tried to find a solution as Daryl kept his focus on finishing the task at hand so he could keep an eye on her.

But she was simply reading another baby book that Carol found for Daryl originally while sat on the porch. Which also meant Y/N put herself in a position for anybody to approach her.

“Do you think he looks like Glenn?”

Y/N shot her head up from her book with a confused look being met with an equally confused one from Rick. “What?”

“I asked how are you feeling”

“Oh, I’m just…tired.” She breathed out a laugh, setting her book down for a moment.

“I bet. Lori used to fall asleep anywhere when she was pregnant with Carl, then well. With Judith she kept having to move around remember?” Rick invited himself to sit with Y/N which made her tense slightly but he didn’t read that. “I would appreciate the shit we have now. You’re safe to have your baby. Have a doctor. Can rest when you want. The whole package…”

“Are you…trying to make me feel bad?” Y/N questioned watching Rick instantly turn his head at her.

“No why would you say that?”

“Because I know what we have now compared to when times were extremely difficult…are you…” Y/N didn’t know where she was going with her words and decided to forget it. She grabbed her book along with the mug she brought out earlier and made her way inside. “I’m sorry” she whispered before shutting the door behind her.

Rick sat there for a moment, feeling more confused than anything. But there was a hint of regret for his words. He struck something and she wasn’t going to tell him. Especially not him. As he left the porch to take care of something, Daryl noticed from his spot and wanted to leave his task to check on his wife because at one point she was outside, then Rick appeared, now she’s nowhere in sight.

“Go”

“Huh?”

“Go check on her. I know you want to” Aaron has been around Daryl long enough to understand his body language.

“I owe yea, Aaron” Daryl tells him while setting his tools back in their box along with his gloves before leaving.

The sound of the door opening snapped Y/N out of her thoughts as she lifted her head from resting against the couch watching Daryl look for her and instantly lock onto her in the living room.

“Are you okay?” Daryl brought himself to sit with her watching her nod with a small smile. “Are you sure?”

Y/N didn’t know what to say as all she did was shake her head before bringing herself into his lap keeping mind of her bump. Daryl instantly wrapped his arms around her after helping her get comfortable.

“Can you stay home the rest of the day?” She whispers feeling his hand sprawl itself on her bump as she rest her hand on top of his.

“Of course, sunshine” He felt her relax when he said such.

The rest of their day consisted of staying on the couch, making dinner together, running a bath for Y/N, working on Daryl’s bike while she relaxed in the bath, and then helping her with her night routine before going to bed together like every night.

“What do you have to do tomorrow?” Y/N asked as she adjusted her pillows for her to sit up while Daryl rubbed her feet using a lotion gifted from Carol.

“Mmm. Just a watch shift I think, and to check the snares. I shouldn’t be out long”

“…can I join you?”

His immediate answer would be no and the look in his eyes gave that away. But Daryl seemed to go against what his mind was telling him.

“As long as yea take it easy” Daryl says calmly while working on a knot in her sole. “You can even bring your hunting rifle and we’ll check out the closest hunting grounds”

“Babe…are you messing with me?” Y/N pulled her foot away watching Daryl bring himself to lay beside her propped up.

“When was the last time I messed with yea?”

“I dunno…”

“Then I ain’t messing with yea. As long as yea take it easy, and follow my lead. We can do this. Okay?” He gave her a smile as she nods before shifting to lay down watching him do the same after he turned off the lamp.

Listen carefully…I will always have a chokehold on your life. That when you least expect it

Daryl and your baby are as good as dead

Y/N jolted awake instantly reaching for her belly making sure everything was alright as for her movement she woke her partner.

“What’s wrong?”

“N-Nothing. It’s…” Y/N felt the baby kick and only started to sob afterward. Daryl fully brought himself to wrap around her bringing her close to him.

“It’s okay. It’s okay” Daryl held her close in hopes the sobbing would stop. But she cried for an hour and he did his best to calm her even if after the sobbing resulted in both staying up the remainder of the night.

When the next day came around, Michonne took it upon herself to check on the Dixons given Daryl didn’t relieve her of her watch and an Alexandrian had to take it. She knocked a few times and waited an appropriate amount of time before letting herself in finding Daryl blankly staring at a French press he found to make coffee for him and tea for his partner. But when Michonne drew close, he snapped out of his daze and realized he didn’t even get it ready with either caffeinated beverage.

“Long night?”

Daryl quickly turned to her realizing he forgot and cursed under his breath. “Sorry. I was supposed to take watch after yea”

“It’s okay, someone took care of it” Michonne gestured for him to sit as she took care of getting the coffee and tea ready for them. “Where’s Y/N?”

“Nesting. She didn’t want me to help until I’ve made tea for her but I honestly think she said that so I wouldn’t talk about last night”

“What happened last night?”

“A night terror? Nightmare. Whichever. She had a bad reaction and couldn’t sleep. So I didn’t sleep” Daryl frowns watching a cup of coffee come into view giving his thanks.

“Yknow. Rick won’t admit it. Nor would he tell you what he thinks he did.” Michonne poured herself a cup given her early morning shift. “He gets nightmares about Carl and his…failure in saving him. He gets a few about the line up and he cries in his sleep.”

Daryl took in a sharp inhale before sipping his coffee. He knew what could be plaguing his wife’s mind during these moments, but never thought she would be too afraid to tell him about them.

“What did Rick do?”

“He thinks he made Y/N feel guilty for the luxuries we have that clearly…those we’ve lost will never have.”

“Well. He’d have to pay for that” Daryl jokes, for the most part. “But her nightmares started since before she was pregnant. They weren’t as bad…guess her emotions are all over the place because of the pregnancy”

“It does that” Michonne laughs lightly as the lightheartedness only lasted a few seconds when they both heard a crash upstairs. Resulting in both of them quickly running to the commotion.

Y/N tried to move the crib and given its weight, she misstepped accidentally cutting herself on a sharp corner which Daryl took note to sand down later.

Now in the infirmary, Siddiq had checked the baby before taking the time to stitch up her arm so it would less likely scar. Not that she minded scars but after being told neither of them have slept and have been having a hard time, he wanted to bring some relief in it all.

“Do I need to be forced on bed rest?”

“No? You only cut yourself and your blood pressure went down after the crisis was averted. I’d take it easy but you don’t have to be confined to a bed” Siddiq finished with the wrap and handed Daryl extra bandages for the future redressing.

“She’s uh. She’s been having—-“

“Nightmares…” Y/N frowns. “Do you think you have sleep medication?”

“I do…but I don’t think you’ll need it” Siddiq taped the bandage to be secure, giving the rest of the roll to Daryl. “I think you’ll do better with a change in scenery”

“And what do you suggest?”

It took about two weeks to plan this out and Carol was more than happy to welcome her two closest friends, her family, into the Kingdom to stay for a while. Even if it meant living in a studio like apartment, not that Y/N cared. She was just happy to be with Carol and Ezekiel…while outside the radius of Negan’s presence.

“I’m surprised Daryl let you drive here”

“It’s just so he could have his bike” Y/N laughs softly.

“His first love if you will” Carol jokes receiving a hearty laugh from Y/N as she took her hands into hers admiring her and the bump for a moment. “He really is getting the life he’s always deserved”

“He sure is”

“Cmon, let me help you get settled. Let him scout around the place” Carol smiles wrapping her arm around Y/N leading her to the living quarters.

After a while Daryl found himself sat on the edge of the bed in sweats waiting for his wife to finish getting ready. He brought his attention from the floor toward the sound of the bathroom door opening and Y/N making her way toward him.

“You don’t like it here”

“What do you mean?”

“New place. For however long…you know we’ll go back right?”

“What if you don’t want to?”

“Alexandria is my home, Daryl. Where we found security, where we got married…and I want to raise our baby there. I just…needed a break, from being constantly reminded that Negan is still alive and what he took from us”

“Rick was a moron for keeping him alive” Daryl frowns as Y/N sat beside him taking his hand resting it on her bump letting their little one kick against the touch making his frown fade. “All I want to do is take care of you. The both of you”

“And you are. We will go home”

“Once you’re comfortable. Okay? I’ll help around the Kingdom and Carol will definitely hover around yea if I’m not”

“That’s okay” She laughs resting her head on his shoulder. “You better take it easy too. Negan took a lot from the both of us”

“I will”

The night progressed as Daryl found himself wrapped around Y/N, hand on her bump as her hand rested on top of his. Her finally asleep without stirring to anything but his small movements and even then, she went back to sleep immediately.

Honestly they’ve stayed in bed for a few days…enjoying the quiet and peacefulness

[topscarkiller]

hii !! <33 since you asked for requests... i have one! let's say abby and reader have been friends for a while – reader recently got dumped by her girlfriend. her ex complained that she spent too much time with abby, and talked about her a lot... as if she loved abby more than her girlfriend. (shocker!)

abby's there for her best friend, of course. reader was there when abby decided to dump her ex boyfriend months ago, said she didn't feel anything for him anyway... abby has never been with a woman before. and she slowly realizes her feelings towards reader? sjsjdh so sorry if its badly worded !! <3 mwahhhh

a little less blue with you — abby anderson

can we get an amen for anon!!!!

summary: you just went through a messy breakup, and you both realise something about yourselves in the process notes: slightly suggestive, other than that pure fluff !! (and angst?) wc: 4,782 | tags: none

also i send my sincerest of apologies for putting this off for so long. i received this submission MONTHS ago. i’ve tried time and time again to perfect this ever since this was submitted. this is quite a long one, so enjoy !

abby groaned impatiently as her and manny lined up at the canteen. it was the third day in the row where they hadn’t prepared the food on time, it was evident by the masses of angry mumbling and insignificant pokes at the food workers.

“they forget to prep early again today..?” abby scoffs unimpressed, picking at her fingernails with manny close to her side.

“don’t stress hermana, they look pretty busy today..” manny reassures her, unable to come up with a reasonable explanation for the shortage of food staff himself.

a few moments pass and the canteen pulls its protective roller shutters up, and the screech of its metal scraping against the ceiling makes a hoard of hungry soldiers come running.

“what’dya think they’re serving today? bet it’s something instead of burritos, hm?” manny inquires, catching abby’s attention. a bet he says?

“if it’s burritos, you give me half of yours. deal?” she places her hand out, veins cast perfectly against the harsh cool fluorescent lights above them.

manny confidently shakes his head with a cheeky grin on his face, he almost looks too proud of himself — the food hasn’t even rolled out yet.

the line slowly picked up pace, with people quickly snatching rolls of food off the bench in front of them. looks to be…

“burritos again! pay up.” abby chuckles at the look of defeat on manny’s face, he stares at his burrito with a frown, hesitantly ripping it apart like it was worth nothing.

“i should learn to never make bets with you abby, you always win them somehow.” manny playfully rolls his eyes, soon covers with a smile as he immediately digs into his food.

“i’m just that good.” she whispers, almost like it’s a hidden talent that she can’t dare let people know about.

abby and manny talk a bit longer before the topic of you is brought up.

“you hear about their break up? god, it was messy. carmen called it off’a couple days ago out of the blue. pobre chica…” manny mumbles as he continues to maul through his burrito.

it would be concerning if abby wasn't filled in about it. she was the first one you entrusted to tell.

you don't even remember how it started —more so how it ended— you'd just got off from patrol, unwinding in your dorm room when a shy pattern of knocks on your door alerted you.

standing up from your worn couch, you limped over to the front to be greeted by your girlfriend, carmen, when you opened the door.

"hey." she croaks. she looked exhausted despite not having patrol today. it was her day off, what could make her so ridden with fatigue?

you took a closer look at her eyes, they had the most unique pattern; brown on the outer edge, with greens and hazel blending in the middle. they were sunken in, and pinker than what was considered normal.

"you okay?" your hand reaches out, but carmen pulls away. with concern flooding your gut, your hands subconsciously begin picking at each other, ripping your brittle skin off the tip of your fingers. she notices this, but alas, doesn't soothe your nerves like how she usually would.

"we... i want to break up." carmen blurts out, totally knocking the wind right from your throat as you were about to take a deep breath in. where was this coming from? from the look on her face, it seemed like she wanted to lay it on you more gently than she had. with the abruptness of this news, you could feel your mind whir. tears would accumulate from the corners of your eyes as you stared at her, not sure if this was some sick nightmare of yours.

"mm.. what?" you dryly hem, a less than pleasant taste roaming your mouth. she wasn't kidding.

"i've... been thinking about it for a while. i wanted to bring it up earlier, but i couldn't find the right time.." she exhales, the tension from her shoulders somehow releasing as she unloads this onto you without warning.

but why?

"but.. why?" you mutter, attempting to keep your composure even with a trembly throat, dry and empty. your anxieties get the better of you as you stand in front of the love of your life, whom you'd spent so much time with —all of that gone to waste for reasons you didn't even have any knowledge of.

"you know why babe.." your eyes sting at the name. the nerve she has to call you babe when she's come here to break up with you.

you stare at her, at a loss for words as the subtle poke at you flies over your head. the sympathetic look on carmen's face contorts to that of annoyance when you shrug your shoulders cluelessly. she must have been thinking this over a lot more than you expected.

"..it's abby. it always has been." she pokes again, crossing her arms over her chest, her stance straight and sturdy. your palms cover your face to wipe your eyes, confused as to what she's saying. every word she's uttered to you, has sounded like nothing but muffled chatter. your head was ringing with each passing second.

"are you in love with her or something? she's all you fucking talk about." carmen spits, her infuriated tone sparking an anxious fuel in the pit of your stomach.

"carmen, we've talked about this... abby and i are nothing but friends." she wasn't convinced, and by the way her eyes shot daggers through your throat, she'd totally made up her mind on the situation.

"baby, please. i only love you, you know that." you reach your hands out, only to be rejected once more. the old carmen wouldn't think twice about sharing an embrace, for however long. whoever this was that stood at your doorstep, you didn’t know her.

"i see the way you look at her. the way you look at each other." her head drops at the last couple words, with fingernails digging into the flesh of her biceps.

you didn't want to plead, but you couldn't lose her. she was all you knew, her touch, her lips, her presence. it was too much for you to lose. it was too much for you to lose.

"i can't lose you." you sniffle, hands limp by your sides. carmen's head isn't turned to you anymore, her beautiful sun-kissed cheeks tensed as you spoke, like the thought of breathing the same air as you was enough to cause a visceral reaction.

"you already did." she chokes up, a stray tear trickling down her face that you so desperately wanted to kiss and hold next to your own. she lets her arms fall to her sides as she walks away, her speed picking up to no longer let you witness this side of her.

her captivatingly beautiful hair bounced with each step she took, her coils fading into the distance turning past a corner.

your eyes flickered as you stayed perched at your front door, one hand making its way to grip your chest with the other maintaining a painful fistful of your hair. it hurt to admit that what happened truely wasn't just some twisted scenario your mind had created in your sleep. this was real. this felt all too real to be a nightmare. this was a nightmare, but not in the way you would rather experience it.

you slammed the door in a pitiful rage, huffing around your room as you looked for any belongings to gift with your unforgiving wrath. you picked up a porcelain mug, not thinking twice about regret as you swung your arm, smashing it on the floor.

plates, chairs and cushions flew around the room. gifts made by friends, books and non-prohibited patrol gear weren't safe from your suffocating hostility neither.

some more countless, unintelligible screams later, you'd grown void of your initial anger as it slowly morphed into sadness, and pity. you never saw it coming, so you never got the chance to prepare.

as you sat with yourself amidst the chaos of shattered glass and ceramics, a smothering black hole sat alongside you, embracing you when no one else would. it was your only friend in these shallow, unforeseen times. the only soul you'd ever allow to see you in this state, was your friend abby. but she was the reason why carmen broke it off, so seeing her right now would only escalate things.

you needed space, and space was the black hole's speciality. it could give you all the space you needed; create a pit of nothingness for you to float around in and bear silence, or the company of your deafening, endless thoughts, who'd echo the desire of how things could've been different.

how things could've been different.

abby clutched her burrito and the half that manny tore for her in one hand, traveling solemnly down the corridors. it was apparent that she was stricken with worry as she pictured how you were holding up. she'd noticed you hadn't left your room since the breakup; six days and counting. the fact she's been counting the days you've been away has remained hidden for now —manny would never not mention it if he found out.

abby had her fair share of heartbreaks, her most recent one being almost a year ago. she knew the pain, and the grief that followed soon afterward. it was never pretty, nor an easy thing to experience, especially for the first time.

the day after your breakup, you were due for another patrol, yet you never showed for the shift. abby skipped, using the excuse of checking in on you to warrant her own absence. she never expected to see you heaving underneath your blankets and sobbing uncontrollably when walking in. abby immediately fell to your side, pulling you into her arms while asking what was wrong. you both sat there with her sweet words pulling each of your heartstrings as you explained your sorrows.

that was the last she saw of you, and to be honest, it was less than comforting not knowing for certain if you've gotten better. you refused any visitors since the six days you've been absent, even those of your closest friends, even abby. but she wasn't going to give up on you anytime soon. she needed to know how you were holding up.

as she approached your room, a shaky hand lifted to knock on the door. the grip on the food she held tensed as she heard shuffling from the opposite side.

the door began to shake as bolts unlocked from inside. abby held a relaxed stance when it slowly swayed open.

when you fully computed that abby was in front of you, your slouch stiffened, trying to look as awake as possible despite just having woken up. your eyes were unsurprisingly swollen from crying the previous night. your hair was a bed-ridden mess, and you wore the same clothes abby had last seen you in, which didn't make her feel any better.

"..still feeling shitty i'm guessing?" she jokes, lifting a sore smile from your face. it was the first time you'd smiled since before you opened the damned door all those days ago, the same one you both stood between.

"can i come in?" abby holds the food to her side and out of your view, not wanting you to feel obliged to eat. she stands there rather awkwardly, like you would ever deny her entry into your room. it was like her second home, and vice versa.

you nod eagerly as abby steps inside, hand behind her back and burrito gripped tightly.

“got you a present.” you’re quick to turn around as abby gestures for you to take it. it was some of the only real food you’d laid eyes on in days.

it’s filling contained beef, rice, salsa, lettuce, onions and sour cream, and its exterior seemed perfectly toasty, just how you liked it. your face grew warm with your cheeks pulling back to show a beloved smile.

“abby, you didn’t have to..” you hesitantly reach out, almost snatching the burrito right out of her hands as your stomach churned on cue.

“eat up babe.” abby chuckles, her cheeks growing rosier with each second she relished in your presence.

you shyly walk away, heading back to the couch. sitting on it’s plushy surface didn’t feel the same as it used to. having carmen’s strong arms wrapped around you with her head leaning on yours, she’d kiss your temple tenderly as you sat there in comfortable silence.

since then, existing in silence no longer brought you that familiarity of comfort, and its warmth. it would only remind you of how things used to be. how things still could’ve been if you hadn’t fucked it up.

a worrisome whirl began growing in the pit of abby’s stomach as she followed, sitting next to you. the air in this room quickly turned suffocatingly awkward. there was silence, apart from the occasional tinnitus ringing from lack of sound.

“..you haven’t been out for a while.”

“yeah.” you cough, phlegm rising from the back of your throat.

“it’s been six days,” she recalls, maintaining a somewhat frightening amount of eye contact with you as you stared blankly at the floor.

“you’ve been counting?” you ask, gaze not breaking from the withering carpet while you dug into your food like a crazed dog. it was concerning to abby how big each mouthful was.

“uh, yeah. i’ve been worried about you, y’know.” abby doesn’t falter in admitting that, it was pretty obvious, even to manny.

there was a long pause once again, the exception being your aggressive chewing and swallowing. the noise didn’t bother her, it was the way you were handling it that put her on edge.

“hey. look at me.” placing a cautious hand on your shoulder, it snaps you out of your empty daze. your eyes regain their slight glint when you lock eyes with her.

she pauses for a moment to take it all in — how drained these circumstances have left you, how the life from your skin had faded significantly since she last saw you. it left a sinking feeling in her heart, seeing her dearest friend like this.

“i think you need to take a break from this room. it’s doing your head in.” abby proclaims confidently as she stands up from the couch. she turns to you, hand stuck out.

“mmwhat?” you mumble in a confused tone, with abby already pulling you up by your hand.

the blanket that had draped your shoulders fell back, leaving you shivering. your arms sheepishly wrap around each other to conserve your warmth as abby guided you away from the totalled couch.

“i’m gonna help you feel better, okay? what do you need?” abby places both her hands atop your shoulders, the tips of her fingers laying delicately on the surface of your skin made your face melt.

it was the first time in god knows how long since someone asked you how you were doing, let alone how they could help you. and to be quite honest, there was a lot. you just couldn’t wrap your head around what to start off with.

after a weak pause, you muttered,

“well… i haven’t gotten to a bath since..” you sniffle, a bit embarrassed admitting it out loud. the fact that this seemingly never ending depression had you so in over your head that your hygiene wasn’t as accounted for as you wished, wasn’t something you wished to let abby know.

but by the looks of your matted hair, lifeless skin-tone and a lack of clean clothes, abby already knew.

she patiently walked you over to the bathroom. the bathtub was less than clean itself, but it was going to make do.

there was a bucket next to the tub, to which abby began filling up with miraculously warm water. you stood behind her, so many thoughts on your mind that you couldn’t even begin to think at all.

“i’ll help clean you, get undressed.”

the words that left abby’s lips violently snapped you out of your meaningless thoughts, so when her demands finally registered in your head, the apples of your cheeks flushed immensely.

“..i’ll be completely naked?” you remind her, giggling unexpectedly. the idea hadn't phased her one bit, minus a slight dazzle in her eyes.

“i don’t care, i’m helping you.” her attention is focused on the tea-towel in her hands, scrunching it up as she dips it into the bucket. after wringing out an appropriate amount of water, abby looks back to you.

“c’mon, you need this.”

the sincerity and softness in her voice helped soothe your nerves, so with each layer of clothing peeling off your skin, you shyly hopped into the tub. abby’s gaze remained on the towel in her hands as you pulled your hair out of your matted ponytail.

your back is turned to her, giving her all the time in the world to admire all the scars and blemishes that scattered across your spine.

you shiver as abby places the warm towel on your back, scrubbing gently. the smell of pine fills your senses. is that abby’s soap?

it must be, she probably left it behind from the last time she slept over here, before the breakup.

it was awfully quiet, minus the awkward sounds of water splashing against your back, and abby dipping the towel in the water. her movements are patient, hands grazing across your shoulders so she can scrub your arms. abby’s lips quiver, a question previously left unanswered, lingering on the tip of her tongue.

“i have a question…” the break of silence catches your attention, slowly peeking your head to the side. your peripheral vision catches the way she handles you so gently, unlike carmen. abby could snap you in half, but currently, she utilises her strength for something other than be-ridding of seraphites or infected.

you nod, and she speaks,

“what.. caused carmen to end things between you guys? i don’t think you ever mentioned it.” she asks, aiming not to phrase it too harshly.

it didn’t make sense to abby that she would randomly cut things off, they were great for each other in her eyes, excusing how she believed there was better out there... there had to be an underlying reason.

abby continues to clean you up, cleaning out the bucket with fresh warm water. she brings the towel to the bucket, squeezing it of its suds as she urges you to turn around.

your face feels warm to the touch as abby takes it between her index finger and thumb, gently rubbing the towel across your forehead.

it grew harder to look her in the eyes in this position, being completely naked and all. not only that, but over the course of these six days, your mind had completely blocked out the most significant reason for your break-up.

"..it's abby. it always has been”

“are you in love with her or something?”

your eyes drop, and abby notices. she always does, and you don’t know how you didn’t realise sooner. she knew you better than you did yourself.

“hey." abby voices.

"what’s up babe. you can tell me.” her tone is placid as she caresses your cheek with the cloth, a string of hope deep down wishing it was her bare hand instead.

your eyes meet hers, both savouring the moment. the gleam in hers told so many stories. the comrades she’d lost and gained, her deepest traumas, her greatest accomplishments, and her strongest passions.

the concoction of blues and hidden tinges of brown swirled hypnotically, its petals would bloom around the irises that met yours.

you shakily inhaled,

"she thought our friendship got in the way of the relationship we had.. like there's more between us." you shiver when a stray droplet slides down your neck. abby is still, her eyebrows tightening together.

"apparently you're all i ever talked about with her." a dry chuckle escapes your throat, you heave in response.

she pulls the cloth way, directing it to the back of your neck. she scrubs your nape, slightly dragging it down to the middle of your back.

"i mean, i'm a pretty interesting person." abby retorts, a helpless smile creeping on her face. you shake your head dismissively, attempting to disregard the fact she could not be more right.

she pulls her hand away, gesturing for you to turn back around. you do, and in turn, she gently tugs at your hair. her fingers run through each knot, untangling the jungle you managed to obtain on top of your head.

yet again, her large hands tenderly pull each section apart, remaining as patient as can be.

"why are you doing this?"

you blurt out unmistakably so, and abby scoffs, as if the answer could not be more obvious. it was not, at least to you.

anybody could have let you recover in the burdening silence alone, but abby was the one to uncover the door to your tomb. she was the one to lend out a genial hand, to release you of your harrowing sorrow —the only source of fruition you had the pleasure of taking in, being by abby's side. more so, her being by your side.

"well… i care, for starters."

her fingers part through your hair with less restraint than before, the matting seemingly fading away. slowly, as did your despair. with each knot untangled, was another tinge of heartache lifted.

she croaks,

"i know how hard break ups are. they're never easy... so if i can help you, even just a little bit..."

"i'll know i've done my best to get you out of this."

her words almost bring a tear to your eye. thankfully you weren't turned for her to see it.

a faint smile crosses your lips, you shake your head at her response.

"don't get all sappy on me now." you joke, deflecting the fact that her words just then meant the world to you. you couldn't ever find someone with such a radiant, divine soul. her actions perfectly reflect who she is as a person. confident, understanding, and humorous. your mind finally focuses on the more positive things in life for the first time in days, and you turn your head to her.

abby has a warm expression on her face, her dazzling eyes now half lidded, meeting yours with the utmost sincerity. she really cared about you.

your heart grew heavy looking at her, it was unfair that she felt obligated to help you. even if she claimed she didn't mind, it left you with a simmering pot of guilt in your stomach.

switching your position, your front is fully exposed. but you don't give it thought when you clutch onto abby. the suds of soap from your hair transferred to her own neatly tied braid as you clung to her.

no words were said, and none were needed. she unsurely wrapped a stark arm around your waist, worried you'd fall out of the tub if not for her grip on you.

her breath was chilly against your ear, leaving a shivering effect on you. your toned arms were snug around her nape, uncertain if you should let go. if you could let go.

it was silent, and part of you liked it that way. the bustling noise of other soldiers were muffled against the towering solid walls that encased you. the only thing you could hear besides that was your rising heart-rate. it pounded louder than any hammer or drill, and you swore abby could hear it too.

after some silence, you muttered, "i don't know how to thank you..." your voice is unsuspectedly quakey. a lump in your throat forms when abby hums in response. she was such an intent listener. you wouldn't know where'd you be if not for her.

"don't." her tone matches yours, equal in volume and honesty.

abby was your mount. the sail that guided you during a storm, the magic mirror that advised your every move, the morals to your humanity. your other half in this wretched world, you beckoned.

you pulled away, her hands still lingering on the small of your back, the mere size of her palms fit snugly.

you couldn't recall how many times you'd locked eyes with her today, yet, even now, you couldn't bring yourself to look away. the deep love she had for you was apparent on her face. her features softened as she saw raw emotion pour out from your own.

your staggered movements startled her as she felt the plump surface of your lips press against her cheek. your hearts would skip a beat together, and she could sense the lingering connotation in that action. surprisingly, she returns the gesture with a smile. she pulls you into yet another embrace to hide how it'd painted her face with rosy pinks.

"i'll always be here for you." you didn't have to see her to hear the smile in her voice. your ears go hot as she breaks contact, both of her hands grip your shoulders steadily.

"c'mon, let's get you dressed." abby stands up, dropping the tea-towel that'd been forgotten into the sudsy bucket. she assists you in standing up, feeling a prevalent cue to stretch when you un-arch your back.

the initial embarrassment of being nude returns as she leaves the room to fetch you a clean pair of clothes. your hands sneak around your figure to try and cover yourself when she returns, handing you a loose fitting t-shirt with some silly illustration on it, and some tight-fitting jeans, along with some underwear.

you suddenly feel overpowered as she stands across you, fully clothed in contrast to you. her arms are heavily defined against the harsh sunlight emanating through the windows in the main room.

you quickly dry yourself and get dressed, and she asks for your hand. "let's get you some fresh air." you don't have time to protest as she pulls you out of the bathroom. just barely scraping your socks and boots, you've now stepped out of your room for the first time in how many days?

"it's been six days. and about time since you left, everyone's missed you!" she exclaims, wrapping an arm around your shoulder.

it'd been so long since you've seen another human being that you'd almost forgotten how to exist within the space of another. but with abby by your side, nothing would slip by you.

your hands somehow made their way to intertwine with abby's, fingers interlocked and tight. her strut is powerful and confident, something you could learn from as you shrunk into a shadow beside her. abby turns to you when she notices you're dragging her back. she can sense your hesitance.

"it'll be fine, i’m here." she squeezes your hand like the beat of a heart, one two, one two. her reassuring smile eased your tensions, slowly picking up the walking pace again. you trusted her judgement, and nothing would cease that.

"hermana! where have you been girl? we've missed you!" manny's thick accent could be heard from yards away. his face is visibly elated and his sturdy arms rose above his head to pull you into a suffocating hug.

others that you were close friends with were sat behind him, including nora, leah, and mel. even owen was present, some steps away.

they all looked so relieved to see you, had your absence meant that much to them?

"i’ve told the guys at the range that you're coming in with me, and no, you don't have a choice." nora chuckles, standing up to push manny out of the way and hug you instead. you reciprocate gladly.

"it’ll give you a chance to let all that anger out, you're a fierce one." she adds, pulling away.

abby stands behind you through all this, incredibly proud that you were making the effort, even if it was challenging. but knowing that people genuinely worried and cared about you had lifted your spirits tremendously. there was more to life than relationships, and abby had helped you realise that.

you turn back to her, and her smile is as cheerful as ever. seeing her compassionate side then had brought her into a totally new light. you loved her, deeply.

" thank you." you mouth, and she nods. you felt a little less blue now that you'd cleared things up, and in helping you, it healed her own woes from her past. the blues would no longer linger as long as you had each other.

[liora-vespera]

Guardian's Heart - Taehyung Oneshot

Genre: Fluff, Angst, Slight Romance

----

The rain was relentless that night, pounding against the pavement as Officer Kim Taehyung moved cautiously through the abandoned warehouse. The mission was simple—rescue the hostages and apprehend the criminals. But as the operation unfolded, it became anything but simple.

Amid the chaos of fleeing captives and handcuffed perpetrators, a faint whimper caught his attention. He turned sharply, flashlight slicing through the shadows. There, crumpled in the corner like a forgotten doll, was a young girl.

Her face was streaked with dirt, her clothes torn, and her body trembling from exhaustion. She was no older than sixteen, her wide, terrified eyes locking with his. "Help me," she rasped, her voice barely audible.

Taehyung didn’t hesitate. He knelt beside her, carefully wrapping his jacket around her frail shoulders. "You’re safe now," he said, his voice soft yet firm. "I’ve got you."

It was the first promise he made to her.

---

Y/N didn’t remember much from that night—or from her life before it. The trauma had stolen her memories, leaving her a blank slate with nothing to cling to but fear and confusion. Taehyung took responsibility for her, ensuring she received medical care and placing her in a respected orphanage.

Years passed, and Y/N tried to rebuild her life. The orphanage became her sanctuary, but she never stopped wondering about the man who had saved her. He visited occasionally, checking on her progress, offering quiet support. She called him “Mr. Kim” out of respect, though she often wished she could call him something warmer.

When she turned nineteen, her life took another unexpected turn.

---

Taehyung stood at the edge of Y/N’s hospital bed, his brows furrowed in concern as the doctor explained her condition. Lingering trauma from her past had led to complications—ones that required consistent care. Y/N, who had always been strong despite her circumstances, seemed smaller now, her vulnerability laid bare.

"I can take care of her," Taehyung said without hesitation. "I’ll make sure she gets what she needs."

Y/N moved into his apartment a week later. It was meant to be temporary, just until she recovered. But for Y/N, it felt like coming home.

---

Living with Taehyung was both a dream and a challenge. He was kind and attentive, always making sure she ate properly, took her medication, and rested. He treated her like a younger sibling, but for Y/N, her feelings were far from familial.

She noticed the little things about him—the way his brow furrowed when he read, the warmth in his laughter, the quiet strength in his presence. She fell for him slowly, her heart aching with a love she knew was one-sided.

Taehyung, ever oblivious, continued to treat her with the same gentle care. He saw himself as her protector, someone who owed her safety and stability. He didn’t notice the way her eyes lingered on him or the way her voice softened when she spoke his name.

One evening, as they sat together on the couch, Taehyung flipping through case files while Y/N pretended to read, she finally gathered the courage to speak.

"Taehyung," she said softly, setting her book aside.

He looked up, his dark eyes meeting hers. "What’s wrong? Are you feeling okay?"

"I’m fine," she assured him, though her heart was racing. "I just... I want to thank you. For everything."

He smiled, the corners of his eyes crinkling. "You don’t have to thank me. I’m just doing what anyone would do."

"No," she said firmly. "You’re doing more than anyone else ever has. You’ve given me a home. A family."

Her voice wavered, and Taehyung reached out, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "You deserve all of it, Y/N. Don’t ever doubt that."

She wanted to tell him then—about her feelings, about the way her heart ached for him. But she swallowed the words, afraid of ruining the fragile balance between them.

Instead, she leaned into his touch, savoring the moment, even if it wasn’t the one she truly wanted.

---

Taehyung continued to search for clues about her past, determined to give her the answers she deserved. But as the days turned into weeks, Y/N began to wonder if her future might matter more than her past.

Could she ever tell him how she felt? Would he ever see her as more than the girl he’d rescued?

For now, she kept her feelings locked away, content to remain by his side, even if it was only as the girl he had sworn to protect.

—---

Y/N stepped out of her room, her heart hammering in her chest. The girl sitting in the living room was beautiful, poised, and clearly interested in Taehyung. She smiled politely at Y/N, but Y/N barely acknowledged her as she hurried toward Taehyung’s room. She couldn’t let this happen.

Her mind raced as she reached the door. She had never entered his room uninvited before, but this was different. The thought of him leaving with someone else, of giving his heart to someone who wasn’t her, was unbearable.

She pushed the door open without knocking.

Taehyung stood in front of the mirror, buttoning his crisp white shirt. He was halfway through tying his tie when he noticed her. His brows furrowed in surprise, and he turned toward her.

"Y/N? What’s wrong?" he asked, his voice calm but laced with confusion. She had never acted like this before, and her teary eyes immediately put him on edge.

Y/N shut the door behind her, leaning against it as if to block his way out. Her hands trembled, and she couldn’t stop the tears from spilling over.

"Taehyung," she began, her voice shaking. "You can’t go."

He blinked, startled by her tone. "What do you mean? Did something happen? Are you okay?"

She shook her head, wiping her cheeks quickly, though it didn’t stop the tears. "No, I’m not okay. I can’t let you go on this date. I just... I can’t."

Taehyung stared at her, utterly perplexed. "Y/N, it’s just a date. My grandma set it up; I couldn’t say no to her. You know how much she—"

"Don’t," she interrupted, her voice rising. "Don’t act like this is just about her. You’ve never gone on a date before, Taehyung. Never. You’re always working, always focused on everyone else, and now—" She choked on her words, her emotions spilling over.

His expression softened, concern replacing confusion. "Y/N..."

"I love you," she blurted out, her voice breaking. "I’ve loved you for so long, and I can’t stand the thought of losing you to someone else."

Taehyung froze, the weight of her confession hitting him like a tidal wave. He opened his mouth to respond, but before he could, Y/N closed the distance between them.

She reached up, cupping his face with trembling hands, and kissed him.

It wasn’t hesitant or unsure; it was full of raw, desperate emotion. Taehyung’s hands instinctively found her waist, steadying her as he kissed her back without thinking. For a brief moment, he let himself get lost in it—the warmth of her lips, the intensity of her love—but reality came crashing down all too quickly.

He pulled back abruptly, his breathing unsteady.

"Y/N," he said firmly, his hands still on her waist as he guided her to sit on the edge of the bed. She looked up at him, her tear-streaked face breaking his heart, but he couldn’t let this go unanswered.

"This isn’t right," he said softly but seriously. "You’re young, Y/N. You’ve been through so much, and I know how confusing feelings can be when someone’s there for you the way I’ve been."

She shook her head vehemently. "No, Taehyung, it’s not like that. This isn’t confusion or gratitude. I love you. I’ve loved you for years. You’re the only one who’s ever cared about me, the only one who’s ever made me feel safe and wanted."

Taehyung sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Y/N, I... I care about you too. More than I can even explain. But this—what you’re feeling—could be something else. And I need you to take time to understand it."

Her heart broke at his words, but she couldn’t give up. "I know how I feel," she whispered. "And I know you feel something too. You kissed me back."

He closed his eyes briefly, guilt washing over him. "That was a mistake. I shouldn’t have done that."

"Taehyung—"

"Y/N," he interrupted gently, crouching in front of her so they were eye level. "I need you to trust me. I need you to trust that I’ll always be here for you, no matter what. But this... this isn’t something we can rush. Please, let me go tonight. Let me figure out how I feel, and you need to do the same."

Her lips trembled, but she nodded reluctantly, knowing she couldn’t force him to stay.

He reached out, brushing a tear from her cheek. "I promise we’ll talk about this. But not now, okay?"

She nodded again, her heart heavy as she watched him rise and finish getting ready. As he left the room, she stayed seated, her mind spinning.

The door clicked shut behind him, and Y/N was left alone with her thoughts—and the faint hope that maybe, just maybe, he’d come back to her.

—----

The clinking of cutlery echoed softly in the upscale hotel restaurant, but Taehyung barely noticed it. He sat across from the woman his grandmother had so lovingly chosen for him, her soft voice filling the space between them as she spoke about her life, her ambitions, and the future she envisioned.

But he wasn’t listening.

His mind was stuck in the moment from earlier—the way Y/N’s teary eyes had burned into his soul, the way her trembling voice had confessed everything he had tried so hard to ignore. And then, the kiss. Her lips on his, full of raw emotion, had stirred something deep inside him he couldn’t quite place.

"Are you okay?" the woman’s voice broke through his thoughts.

Taehyung blinked, realizing he hadn’t responded to a word she’d said in the last five minutes. He shifted uncomfortably in his chair, meeting her concerned gaze. "I’m sorry," he muttered, rubbing the back of his neck.

"You seem distracted," she said gently, tilting her head. "If something’s wrong, we can reschedule—"

He shook his head firmly, then stopped, realizing he couldn’t lie. "No," he admitted, his voice low. "I’m not okay."

The woman’s brows furrowed slightly, a flicker of disappointment crossing her face. "Is it me?"

Taehyung gave her a small, apologetic smile. "It’s not you. You’re kind, and I’m sure you’re amazing. But..." He hesitated, thinking of how Y/N’s face had crumbled in front of him, her words still echoing in his mind. "I’m not interested. I’m sorry."

The woman blinked, clearly taken aback. "Oh... I see."

Standing, Taehyung reached for his wallet and pulled out cash to cover the bill. "I didn’t mean to waste your time. I appreciate you coming here tonight, but I need to go."

Before she could respond, he offered her a polite bow and left, leaving her sitting there, stunned.

---

When Taehyung returned to the apartment, the sight that greeted him made his chest tighten. Y/N was curled up on the couch, fast asleep in an uncomfortable position. Her arm dangled off the side, her face pressed awkwardly against the cushion. The dim glow from the table lamp highlighted her swollen eyes and blotchy cheeks, clear signs she had been crying for hours.

He sighed softly, guilt weighing heavily on him. Moving closer, he crouched beside her and gently brushed a strand of hair from her face. She stirred at the touch, her eyelids fluttering open.

"Taehyung?" she murmured, her voice thick with sleep.

"It’s me," he said softly, his hand still resting near her cheek. "Why are you sleeping here? You should be in your room."

Y/N blinked a few times, sitting up slowly. She winced as the stiffness in her neck caught up with her. "I... I didn’t mean to. I was just waiting for you to come back."

Her words tugged at something deep within him. "You didn’t have to wait for me," he said gently, though he couldn’t deny the warmth that spread through him knowing she had.

Y/N rubbed her eyes, avoiding his gaze. "How was the date?"

He hesitated, watching her closely. Her voice was casual, but the vulnerability in her expression betrayed her.

"I left," he admitted.

Her head shot up, her wide eyes meeting his. "You... left?"

He nodded, his lips pressing into a thin line. "I couldn’t stop thinking about earlier."

Y/N swallowed hard, her heart thudding in her chest. "About what I said?"

"About everything," he said softly. He reached out, his hand cupping her cheek gently. She froze at the warmth of his touch, her breath hitching as his thumb brushed against her skin. "You’ve been crying," he noted, his voice tinged with regret.

"I couldn’t help it," she admitted, her voice barely above a whisper. "I thought you might..." She trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.

"Might what?" he prompted, his tone gentle but insistent.

"Forget about me," she whispered.

His chest tightened at her words. Without thinking, he leaned closer, his forehead brushing against hers. "I could never forget about you, Y/N."

Her eyes welled up again, and he immediately shook his head. "No more tears," he murmured, his voice soft but firm. "I hate seeing you like this."

"Then don’t leave me," she said, her voice breaking. "Please, Taehyung."

He closed his eyes, his hand slipping to the back of her head as he pulled her into a gentle embrace. Her arms wrapped around him tightly, as if she were afraid he’d disappear if she let go.

"I’m not leaving you," he promised, his voice low and steady. "But this... what’s between us... we need time to figure it out. I need time."

Y/N nodded against his chest, clinging to the hope in his words. For now, it was enough.

As he held her close, Taehyung realized that whatever lay ahead, it wasn’t something he could ignore any longer.

Taehyung carried Y/N to her room, cradling her as if she were the most delicate thing in the world. She clung to his shirt, her fingers gripping the fabric tightly, as if afraid he would slip away.

"You didn’t have to wait for me," he murmured, laying her gently on the bed.

"I didn’t want to be alone," she whispered, her voice barely audible.

Taehyung knelt beside her, brushing a stray tear from her cheek. The soft glow of the bedside lamp illuminated her face, her swollen eyes, and her vulnerability. He could see the weight of her emotions, and it tugged at him in a way he couldn’t explain.

"You won’t ever be alone, Y/N," he said firmly, his thumb caressing her cheek. "I’m here. I’ll always be here."

Her gaze met his, wide and searching. "You promise?"

"I promise," he replied, his voice steady but warm.

The silence between them stretched, heavy with unspoken words. Y/N’s hand reached up hesitantly, her fingers grazing his jawline. "Why did you leave the date?"

Taehyung sighed, leaning into her touch. "Because I couldn’t stop thinking about you."

Her heart raced at his confession. "Me?"

"Yes, you," he said softly, his voice tinged with a mix of frustration and tenderness. "I tried to focus, but all I could see was you. Your tears, your words, your kiss..."

Her cheeks flushed at the mention of the kiss, and she looked away. "I shouldn’t have done that."

"Y/N," he said, his tone gentle but firm. He tilted her chin up, forcing her to meet his eyes. "I didn’t stop you because I didn’t feel anything. I stopped because... I didn’t want to hurt you. I needed time to understand what I was feeling."

"And now?" she asked, her voice trembling.

His eyes softened, and he leaned closer, his forehead resting against hers. "Now, I know I don’t want to be without you."

Tears filled her eyes again, but this time, they weren’t from sadness. She threw her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. "I love you, Taehyung. I really do."

He held her tightly, his lips brushing against her hair. "I know. And I..." He hesitated for a moment, then pulled back to look into her eyes. "I love you too, Y/N."

Her breath hitched at his words, and she felt a warmth spread through her chest, a mix of relief and overwhelming joy.

Their gazes locked, and the world seemed to fall away. Slowly, Taehyung leaned in, his lips capturing hers in a kiss that was tender yet filled with all the emotions he had kept buried.

The kiss deepened, their breaths mingling as they lost themselves in each other. Taehyung’s hands cradled her face, his touch soft and reassuring, while Y/N’s fingers tangled in his hair.

He pulled away just enough to whisper, "Are you sure about this?"

Her answer was immediate, her voice steady despite the vulnerability in her eyes. "I’ve never been more sure of anything."

Taehyung searched her face for any hesitation, but all he found was trust and love. "Then let me take care of you," he murmured, his voice a promise.

The rest of the night was a blur of whispered confessions, gentle touches, and unspoken emotions. They moved with a quiet understanding, their actions speaking louder than words ever could.

When the first rays of dawn crept through the curtains, Taehyung held Y/N close, her head resting on his chest. Her breathing was soft and even, and his fingers traced lazy patterns on her back.

For the first time in years, Taehyung felt at peace. With Y/N in his arms, he realized that home wasn’t a place—it was her. And he would do everything in his power to protect it.

End.

[sandcobangevent]

A Lovely Affair

By SumRandomGirl29 and @ratinavan

Aside from a taxing and somewhat traumatic case- the dancing men- it had been a lazy day. After Elsie finished practicing and left, each resident of 221 baker street returned to their respective flats. The 2 men who resided in the flat upstairs barely registered the sound of their coworker answering the phone. John was yelling at the telly, Sherlock was scoffing at John's remarks while mixing an array of chemicals together in the kitchen. 

“Would you stop doing that,” Sherlock pleaded with John, lifting one side of his ear defenders up to hear.

“What ‘m I doing?” John shouts over the game. 

“The players can’t hear you. I can.” 

“Oh, whatever mate, you just don’t get the game.” 

“I don’t get the game?” Sherlock scoffs in disbelief.

“No, you don’t…” John replied, barely paying attention to the conversation. 

“Alright, let’s play the game then.” Sherlock shut off the match, strode to the living area, and stood before John.

“Oi! You can’t just do that! I was watching-”

“What shall we play?”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t get the game. So, let’s play one. What shall we play?”

There was a long silence. Mariana could clearly be heard on the phone, clacking away at her keyboard. John just stared at Sherlock, lost for words. 

“Football,” He finally said, “You don’t understand football. Now can I get back to watching my game?”

“Not until I get it.”

John scoffed, irritated. Why did he even listen to what Sherlock said anymore? Nosey showoff, he thought. But there Sherlock stood, between him and the TV, with more expression than ever before. Heartwarming… but weird.

“I think a game is a good idea.”

“Oh yeah, mate? And why’s that?” 

“It serves as a distraction.”

“From what?” John asked.

Sherlock stared at John thoughtfully, trying to figure out how to word what he knew in a way that wouldn’t hurt his friend. While he thought on what to say, John had two things on his mind… one of which was making his cheeks burn. He had never been so thoroughly scrutinized in such a caring manner. He felt like a git.

“I’ve been playing a game of my own,” Sherlock said, finally breaking the seemingly eternal and agonizing silence. 

“Oh? And what’s that?” John asked, the edge of sarcasm a little too sharp. Crap, he thought. His facade was slipping.

“You. I can read you like a book most days. Today? Nothing. I’ve been trying my hand at figuring you out- and failing. I never fail at this.”

Oh no, oh no no no. Bollocks. He was going to find John out.

“What about it, mate? Not everyone is easy to read all the time. Besides, I’m not doing anything different,” John argued.

What is he hiding? Thought Sherlock. And whatever is was, why did John try so hard to hide it?

“Well,” Sherlock began.

This is gonna be long, thought John.

“First of all, you ditched your dinner plans with a friend, meaning you aren’t in the mood to socialize. It’s not a lack of sleep or an exhausting day, because despite how much we did, you usually come home charged and ready to roll.” Began Sherlock.

“Oh boo on me for cancelling dinner,” Sneered John.

“That’s second, you’re in an unsavoury mood. Usually you’ll turn off the television yourself. I had to turn it off. Not to mention the exaggerated response I received. Usually you can’t shut up… now you can hardly think of what to say.”

“That’s not tr-”

“It is true. I have cut you off at least twice. You just stop talking. Usually you keep cutting through, finish your thoughts.”

John sat silently, unable to say anything. 

“What?” Sherlock asked.

John pursed his lips and sighed. Sherlock felt that something was off. 

“Do… you want me to stop?” He asked cautiously.

“No. Finish.”

“Well. Third and finally, the physical signs. Your leg is more restless than usual. You have been doing something since the moment we got home. You washed the dishes, for god’s sake. Despite watching your football match, you’ve been moving non stop. Up behind the sofa, getting a glass of water- that you’ve hardly touched, by the way- you’re rocking back and forth and yelling at the telly, and as if that wasn’t enough, you’ve taken to scratching at your wrist and your scars- Oh…”

Sherlock’s face sank. All telltale signs of PTSD. He couldn’t believe how ignorant he’d been. 

“I’m sorry,” He almost whispered. 

“Do you… want a hug?” Sherlock asked tenderly. John’s eyes glittered with tears. He tried to respond, but no words came out. His face felt hot, he wanted to be upset, but all he could be was shaky and dizzy. With a few deep breaths, he stood up and limped to his room. Guilt gnawed at Sherlock. He wanted to do something. He had to do something. Just as he rose to look for his journal, Marina opened the door. He froze and looked at her like a deer in headlights. 

“Hey… everything okay?” Mariana asked suspiciously. “It got really quiet.”

“I don’t think so,” Sherlock replied, getting back to his search. He walked to the table, looking through the pages and books.

“Wha-? What happened? And what are you looking for?” She asked. She joined Sherlock’s side at the table, and began organizing the pages he’d thrown aside. 

“John was shot, and-”

“John was what!?”

“Listen! He’s having intrusive memories. I… it took me longer to put that together than it should’ve.”

“What did you do… and what do you mean that he was shot!?”

“He had on a bulletproof vest. Physically, he’s fine. Mentally���”

“Sherlock.”

“I didn’t realize! If I had, I wouldn’t have subjected him to such scrutiny and taken away his distraction. He was self-regulating and I’ve ruined it.”

“Well… you did just admit that you didn’t know. You can’t-”

“I can blame myself. I did make it worse. And I should’ve known! He’s my best friend,” Sherlock sighed. His anguish quickly drove him to anger.

“Where is my damned journal? Why the hell isn’t it where I left it?” He recoiled as Mariana grabbed his arm. 

“Hey! Stop it! You always do this. You get mad at yourself, then you take it out on everyone else. Take a deep breath.” She glanced at the table and spotted it- a small leatherbound book with the initials S.H. stamped on it. 

“Here,” she smiled, handing it to him. 

“Thank you,” he grunted reluctantly. 

“Why do you need your diary?”

“Journal. It’s a journal. I need to look for an entry I made on April 24th of last year.”

“April… Isn’t that when Carol came in?”

“Yes. Fantastic memory, Mariana.”

“What could you possibly need from your diary that you wrote when Carol was here?”

“A solution,” he sighed, irritated. “Now could you please-”

“Yeah, sure. One of the people I live with is freaking out, the other is lashing out from guilt, and I’m supposed to ‘bugger off’ and pretend I’m okay leaving you two alone together in the same flat.”

“Thank you for understa-” “I’m staying.”

“Oh. You were being… sarcastic.”

“Yes.”

“Ah,” he huffed. “Well, at least get comfortable, I can’t read with you looking over my shoulder.”

“Oh I see, you have some ‘secretive entries’ in your diary.”

“Shut up.”

“Are they… romantic entries?”

“Shut. Up.”

“You wouldn’t be defensive if I was wrong,” She sang tauntingly.

“Mariana, I need to read. Leave me alone,” he replied shortly.

“Hm,” she huffed before turning to the living area.

Sherlock flipped through page after page, looking carefully through each one for the 24th of April. He stopped on a few pages, smiling at certain things John had done. John talked to Archie like a baby today. Not too sure why… it read. He smiled. Finally, about 10 minutes later. he landed on it. 

“Ha!”

“What,” Mariana whipped her head around, muting the television. 

“I’ve found it.”

- - - -

What a mix of feelings, John thought. He laid on his bed, gazing blankly at the chipping ceiling paint. He huffed, irritated. As caring as Sherlock was, he was also ignorant. He could make you feel like the only person in the world one moment, and like crap the next. It was almost a talent.

John's whole body had an electric feeling to it, pricking and shuddering, urging him to do something, anything. His brain, however, was fried. Exhausted and emotionally spent, he let himself doze.

 - - - -

Mariana sat at the table watching Sherlock fumble around the kitchen for ingredients. 

“Would you just tell me what you’re making?” Marina  practically begged, but he shrugged her off.

“You’ll take over. I want to make this.”

“I will not! I could, however, provide some helpful pointers to someone who has hardly touched an oven in his life,” she offered. 

“I thought it was a stove,” he replied. “What’s the difference?”

Mariana laughed aloud. 

“You have no idea what you’re doing.”

“Yes. I do. All of the instructions are right here,” he said, gesturing to his journal. Mariana rolled her eyes, but let him go. 

“Show me what you’ve got, chef.”

He poured yeast, flour, and sugar into the bowl at the stand mixers’ base. Mariana was relieved watching him use the measuring cups. 

“It says to mix it,” Sherlock said, confused.

“Yes, that would make sense.”

“When have we ever used this stand mixer?”

“I don't know. Oh… Sherlock, have you never used a stand mixer?” Mariana laughed. The detective shook his head. 

“The switch on the side,” she said through her laughter.

Sherlock reached out carefully and pushed the switch back. The noise was unbearable. He immediately switched it off.

“Can it mix faster so this can be over,” he asked desperately. 

“Push it farther, the settings go higher,” Mariana replied. He reached for the switch again.

“Oh, but don't push it too-”

Fwoosh!

The mixer screeched to life, throwing flour, sugar, and yeast all over Sherlock. Spluttering and coughing, he blindly reached to turn off the switch. He turned slowly and cautiously towards Mariana, who was miraculously holding in her laughter.

“Master chef strikes again,” she giggled. 

“Fine. I need your help.”

“About time.”

Mariana joined his side, easily mixing the wet and dry ingredients, kneading the dough like a cloud, delicately laying it in a bowl and letting it rise.

“You’ve done nearly everything.”

“And you can chop the strawberries.”

“This was my idea, and you’ve done everything.”

“It’s not your fault,  you hardly bake. You can't expect to know everything.”

Sherlock thought about it for a moment, then turned to the strawberries and began to chop.

 - - - -

A nightmare woke John from his once-peaceful nap. Trembling and feeling sick, he laid with his covers over his head. He wished he had someone to be with. There was a knock at the door. 

“John?”

He groaned. He did not want to talk.

“John, I’m sorry. I know I’m not as clever as I act. Demonstrating my intelligence was not kind to you, especially with my air of arrogance.”

There was no response.

“I have something for you,” Sherlock muttered, dejected. 

“Come in,” John replied.

The door opened softly. He couldn't see Sherlock, but knew where he was based on the creaking of the floorboards and the sinking of his mattress. A familiar smell filled his senses. He felt an immense calmness. After some consideration, he slipped the blanket off his head.

“Sherlock, what did you-” John sputtered to a stop. Sherlock was COVERED in flour. He burst into laughter. Sherlock’s expression of surprise melted to irritation, but inside, he was just happy to have John mentally present again. 

“What’s that?” John asked. 

“Jelly donuts. Oozing with love. Just for you.” Sherlock forced a sarcastic smile.

“I don't like donuts. Or making them. But when Carol came in, she told me that you really liked her jelly donuts. And, I figured, since I was such an idiot, I could do something to help.” He set the tray down on his side table. 

“I’m sorry, John.”

John wrapped his arms around Sherlock and pulled him down with him. He might get hurt sometimes, but no one could offer comfort like his best friend. Sherlock hugged him back, tight and sincere. He smiled. 

“Welcome back, John.”

**Bonus!**

Click!

“What was that,” John half-whispered, drowsy from falling back to sleep.

Click! Click!

John blinked a few times to wake himself up. He finally processed the situation. Sherlock was snoring softly into his shoulder, it was finally dusk, and… there was a figure in the doorway, giggling, with her phone camera open. 

“...Mariana?”

“Good morning, sleepyhead.”

“Mariana! What are you doing?”

“Oh don't be mad, it's so sweet when you two get along.”

“Alright. So that makes it okay for you to take pictures of me sleeping?”

“You won't be mad when you see it.”

John hesitated a moment before deciding.

“Show me.”

Mariana walked over and held her phone up to his face. John examined the picture. It was so… 

“Send that to me. I want it to be my background.”

Mariana chuckled and walked out of the room as John’s phone buzzed.

[muzaktomyears]

Mimi's views on Cynthia:

(...) [Mimi] told me how strict John was with Julian, especially at meals. If he didn’t behave, or refused to eat something on his plate, John would have none of it and would pick him up and put him to bed in the back bedroom. Just for the record, Mimi thought it all a bit harsh but John refused to put up with bad manners. She, of course, blamed any bad manners that Julian had on Cyn, since she was with the boy 99% of the time. Mimi said his eating habits were atrocious, all sodas and candy. Not surprising, also Cyn’s fault.

---

Mimi had never really been fond of Cynthia. She felt she had chased John throughout the years, and had purposely gotten herself pregnant in order to “trick him” into marrying her. But more than Cynthia, she disliked Cynthia’s mother. Mrs. Powell was “pushy” and had to be involved in everything, according to Mimi. Even the last time we discussed the subject, she insisted that the marriage might have lasted if John and Cyn could have lived alone without her mother constantly being there. John eventually had enough and purchased a small cottage for her not far from Kenwood but Mrs. Powell insisted on spending her time at the house where she could better enjoy John’s money.

---

She told of the Art School days and the many times Cynthia would walk by the house in Woolton, hoping to see John while he would be upstairs hiding. She insisted Cyn had chased after him and had even asked Mimi for permission to marry him, when John was just 20 and would need a parent or guardian to sign for him. Mimi refused. When John did finally admit to her that Cynthia was pregnant and they would be marrying, Mimi gave it to him with both barrels. How could Cynthia know she was pregnant to soon? She would hardly be a month along. Where did they expect to live? How did he think he could support a family? On and on it went until John stormed out.

Mimi had no intention of attending the wedding and neither did anyone else in the family. The night before the wedding, John came to her in tears. He didn’t want to get married. He was too young. He had to find a way out. But even then she had no sympathy for him. He’d laid in his bed and now he had to make it.

---

(...) She did actually feel sorry for Cynthia living in the big house, more or less alone, she said. And when John wasn’t touring, he’d be working in the studio and come home exhausted. Cyn, on the other hand, wanted to go out and Mimi said she would often come downstairs dressed to the nines, looking quite lovely, and hoping for an evening on the town but John would be too tired.

Mimi warned him that he had to be more attentive to his wife.

---

[1975:]

She’d received a letter from a fan who had been visiting Cyn. “Well, she [the fan] indicated that Cyn didn’t want her address known. [She] knew but couldn’t tell me as, more or less, it was private. It irritated me. There’s no need for anyone connected with the Beatles to hide; one never hears of them, only an occasional mention. So she is quite safe. What an irritating letter to write. She could see Cyn had had her share of worry, etc. And [she] feels so bad that I don’t see Julian and no wonder Cyn wants seclusion in this world. Really such rubbish! It’s entirely Cyn’s own fault. Seclusion! Bah!”

---

[a letter dated 19th June, 1981:]

“7p.m. last night the phone went, I was half expecting an American voice, but no – It was definitely a L’pool voice. Slightly, but L’pool anyway. I knew it was not my family, we all have the similar voice. I kept saying who? Who? Who are you? Then I nearly dropped dead (kidding). The voice said ‘It’s Cyn’. I could hardly believe it. She started to tell me about Twist, marriage finished, he’d had 3 affairs, one after another. Apart from that I don’t know what the call was for. So taken aback that ME, Mimi, didn’t say anything. She would come down, see me, etc. etc. and – I’m not much wiser. Since then I’ve been so puzzled, wondering why she phoned me. I didn’t even get her phone no., or address, and no idea how to get it unless I try enquiries. She may not be under Twist… I wouldn’t put it past her to use Lennon. Think I’ll try. I want to ask her why she phoned, any reason especially. Can there be any motive? She’s determined to keep in the news one way or another. It’s puzzling, but I would not be any use to her.

“I know Cyn says she wants to hide away. God knows why. All the time she gets in touch with the press…I know she does not like [fans] and until I picked all the fan letters out of the dustbin and answered them, every fan letter was destroyed. So I answered which infuriated her, but I didn’t care. The girls got an answer. John knew nothing about it.”

(...)“Just talking to Anne [Mimi's sister]. She said ‘don’t bother finding where Cyn is. There’s some motive why she phoned after all these years. She could have phoned in Dec. And why these undying declarations of great love for John.’ If that was so, why chase the Italian, who by the way is totally ignored. She’s had 2 husbands since John. Anne feels there is money in it. Some funny business going on. I’m not interested in any money. It’s bad enough he’s gone.

“It’s not a good example to Julian to encourage him to go into pubs. He does not impress me at all. Seems lazy and aimless trying to cash in on his father’s image. John said he had no brain. Sounds as though he was right. Cyn should direct him to doing something instead of hanging around doing absolutely nothing. She trying to be the same age in outlook. It can’t be done. She’s to blame for him being aimless, but there’s no time for children when you’re looking for new husbands, and looking for a good time.”

---

We got into one of our first disagreements that night [during her 1981 visit to Mimi's house]. Talking about John and his divorce from Cynthia, she mentioned that Cyn hadn’t deserved the money he’d been forced to give her as a settlement. I believe the figure we were discussing was £150,000 and she thought that was far too much. I tried to explain that considering she’d been there from the beginning and through the lion’s share of Beatlemania, she deserved a far greater portion of his income than that. Nope. Cyn had cheated on John first, Mimi reasoned, so it wasn’t as if she’d won the pools. That was a familiar argument and I realized she was using John’s argument, almost word for word.

That’s the night she told me how John had come down to see her, and “sitting right in that chair” had told her that he had found out that Cynthia had been cheating on him with “the Italian” and he had literally cried when he said he was getting a divorce. To this day, I have no idea who cheated on whom first, but I eventually held my tongue and the £150,000 settlement dispute was eventually forgotten; at least for the time being.

---

Marie had been to Beatlefest in New York. She had phoned me while there to inform me that Cynthia was there selling copies of her art from her first book. I think this might have been the first of several trips to Beatlefest for Cyn. (…)

The only thing I remember is she called to tell me that she told Cyn that she knew the former president of the Cyn Lennon Beatle Club and did Cyn think she might ever go to Minnesota?

As I recall it, Cyn replied “Why would I ever go to Minnesota?” Well, why, indeed. Unless, of course, she wanted to continue to sell copies of old lithographs at $30 a pop.

Needless to say, Mimi didn’t take the news well at all.

“[Marie] nearly fell over herself telling me about Cyn selling at a Beatlefest or whatever you call those things. I couldn’t believe it! Whatever is she thinking?!!... It’s incredible, undignified, and degrading, to me anyway but then I’m not trying to cash in or seeking publicity. If I had been a cast off wife or mistress I think I would have kept quiet and out of sight especially with two husbands still hanging around somewhere. I’d laugh my head off if they decided to cash in as well. Heaven knows there’s no knowing what people will do for money. And they have a story as well….. Kathy, I’m half sorry for Cyn. I wonder how and what prompted her to leave herself open to criticism and remarks by people. I phoned my sister and Liela… they say she’s desperate for notice, and what’s more likely looking for another—er—husband over there. That’s the most likely place .What do you bet? Altho I hope she won’t be so silly. I don’t think she can help it. We’ll see. She could not have sold all those drawings at the exhibition, or perhaps she did more for the Beatlefest…I never saw anything arty she ever did, so have no idea…”

[A letter dated 26th October, 81:]

“I was sorry to hear Cyn was renting a table to sell things. How could she do such a thing! Joining that jamboree. It’s bound to cause some unfavourable comments. As to why, apart from the obvious. Here’s the latest rolling in millions and the first, 14 years almost after the divorce, and two further husbands (still about somewhere) renting a table to sell things – I really am sorry she did it. She was a very wealthy woman. I hope she’s still got some of it left. It makes one think she’s cashing in on the Lennon name for money. Perhaps I’m too old fashioned. Your note may have cheered her up for I can’t think she was very happy standing there, money or no money. It makes me cringe… Whatever Cyn may say I think she’s lonely and realises she was a fool… to be photographed with May Pang and I hear staying with her (if it’s true) well, it’s rock bottom. I hope she made some money to compensate her for what I think was an undignified escapade. Of course it’s only my opinion. I may be entirely wrong altogether. Better if I am wrong.”

The Guitar’s All Right as a Hobby, John, Kathy Burns (2014)

[soulcialdent]

Day 2: Gezelligheid (Dutch)

A convivial, cozy, or warm atmosphere. The warmth of being with loved ones, or seeing a friend after long absence.

Life has been kicking Neji's ass. It's always been rough between losing his both his parents before he could remember him. The constant tormoil between his family and losing so much of himself to a war. Also almost his Sensei and Then having to come to terms with his new reality. He could no longer be a Shinobi anymore.

It took him close to a year to be self-sufficient again. As much as his injuries would allow anyway. He was lucky to alive and for the longest time he just couldn't believe it. But one day, maybe he would. Today just wasn't that day.

Neji was exhausted. He was on his way home after having his monthly meeting with Hinata and Hiashi. To discuss clan business, which Neji has opted to step away from but as Hyuuga you can never really step away from. Then Hinata would ask him the same question. And his answer was always the same. He had no intentions of returning to the compound. She'd smile at him genuinely but he didn't miss the hints of sadness that lingered there. But she would never push back.

If that wasn't draining enough, Today was 3 year Memorial of the 3rd Great Shinobi War. While electricity's filled the air with mixture of pain, pride and other conflicting emotions. Neji was numb the entire time. Today was really long day.

Gai Sensei tried to convince Neji to come out and celebrate with him Kakashi, Yamato and the others but he kindly turned him down. He wasn't in the mood to celebrate or talk about the war. Especially not, without his best friend. He missed her.

They’ve always been close. They became even closer after his almost death. If possible … Tenten became a pillar for him or maybe….a crutch. He couldnt tell. Tryin to get answers to that question just made his head spin.

Neji sighed as he approached his front door. His latest migraine being to set in as he reached for thelock to his front door- but slowly opened

Strains a brown hair catch his attention. The door now wide open.

“Hey, I’m back” she smiled at him. “You look like shit. Is everything okay?” She shut the door behind him.

He shook his head. Tenten eyes him curiously, gentle patted him on he back guided to seeing his sofa in the living room. Before walking into the kitchen to receive the tea she made. She was back just as quickly.

“Hey, is there anything that I can do for youl?”

“I have a migraine” and my body is acting up. He decided to keep that to himself.

“Okay, the pressure points that help are in head neck right “

Neji nodded as he felt her cold fingers press up against the side of his face. She massaged the pressure points like she's seen him do a bunch of times. And on her tooo. He began to relax as the migraine slowly drifted away.

“So what have you been up to while I was away” Tenten asked threading fingers through his slightly damp and wirely hair.

Neji melted into her touch. This is the part he loved and resented at the same time.

“Gai Sensei and Lee came to visit a few times but now Lee's away on a mission. Hinata paid me a visit as well. But enough about me. I want to hear about you.”:

Tenten chuckled and sat down next to him. She handed him a cup of tea before she began talking.

“Well the Land of Iron is beautiful but very cold. The Weapons Master Mifune wanted me to meet with was so cool. I way they craft weapons out there is unlike anything I’ve seen before. The cold temperatures and mountain air does something to metals. It imprints on them and gives it this blue color finish. I can't believe I was able to train under him.

Neji couldn't help but smirk. Taking a sip of the tea finally. He grimaced, it was really bad. The Hyuuga couldn't help but chuckle. Somethings never change.

“Sounds like you're learning a lot. When do you need to head back?”

“The day after tomorrow unfortunately. But hey, I got you something”

Tenten pulled out a leather spring with a small sound pendant on the end. It has a picture of kunai and other side it was engraved with Team Gai’s moto. Stronger Than Yesterday.

“I have one too” Tenten pulled on the string around her neck. “So no matter where you go. We’ll always be there with you “

And I, with you….

Gezelligheid

[auschizm]

This is just a ramble about medical neglect:

I’ve followed the schizophrenia dialogue for a few weeks now and I’m beginning to have another one of those “oh so that’s what they label it as” moments that I’ve had with basically all my labels. I’ve always had these differences and in some form been aware of them. But one of my biggest difficulties is communicating. I’m not non verbal but I do think I fall on a minimally verbal spectrum and language in general feels like shoving putty through the gears of my brain. So even though I try and tell anyone and everyone my symptoms they are at best downplayed or ignored. I’ve always been hyper aware of how I feel about certain things and have gotten really good at accommodating myself. But that only came after late realizations to things that where hurting me severely. Panic attacks taking me out of extra curricular, depression stopping me from going to school, adhd making me unable to focus in school, autism making me unable to hold meaningful relationships (at least with the people I know), being queer and trans making it hard to relate to peers. It’s always been a matter of my body and mental capacity being pushed beyond where it can go, a break down and slump, realizing and research on my own, and then learning to cope and accommodate myself. It’s happened so many times that I’ve built up a decent foundation for survival but doing it alone means there are deep cracks. I’m so tired all of the time and the idea that I can’t keep pushing past my exhaustion was itself exhausted years ago. I have to keep pushing, I’m the only one putting time and energy into myself so if I stop, I fall, immediately. It’s been a terrifying way to live life. Especially now, my last break down being trapped in a house in the dessert with several not well people, experiencing immense psychosis and ending up homeless for months after. I’m in an apartment and significantly better now, I’m also learning the symptoms I’ve been experiencing, that can’t be explained already, sound a whole lot like schizophrenia. I’m not sure where to go from here, I never really have. I’ve never had proper medical attention before. There where times when even obvious physical injury’s where ignored by family and professionals, addressing anything mental has been impossible. I have a therapist now but I can’t even get them to agree with me about depression, so we only work on material improvement. I’m exhausted, I love myself and I deserve better than this, but I can’t do much better.

Thank you for raising awareness, it’s genuinely made my life easier and I appreciate you a lot. Would you have any ideas for non medical accommodations for living with schizophrenia. It’s okay if not

I am so sorry that you haven't received the support and accommodations you've needed, and I am really impressed that you have managed to care for and stand up for yourself regardless. That's very impressive and inspiring. And depending on the details of your experience with schizophrenia, it might not be particularly helpful to medicalize it. Because as you've clearly already noticed, often the people who are supposed to help you don't actually help much, professionals included. And while there are definitely situations where a label like schizophrenia is a necessary evil, it is also a target that can make you vulnerable to various kinds of discrimination and bigotry. I am not telling you not to seek medical help, but I strongly encourage you to think it through first. Even though I unfortunately can't write you a guide to coping with schizophrenia on the spot.

[animeloverskylarmoon]

Komamura Sajin (Bleach) :Oneshot

“Why did I listen to Rangiku?”

You’ve gotten yourself into some deep shit because of her, but this feels by far the most embarrassing. The minute she found out about your crush she made it her mission to play matchmaker.

When she told you to make chocolates you thought nothing of it. She said that in the world of the living humans did this. Made treats for the ones they cared about. You never intended to actually give it to him.

You just like the idea of it.

Confessing your feelings while you handed him the treat. You even tied it with a little sticker with his name and a drawing of an adorable fox.

That very bag was now sitting in his quarters and you were trying to find a way to sneak in and grab it before he saw.

“When I get my hands on her, I’m going to strangle her.” 

Flashstepping through the barracks, you finally made it to his office.

You just need to get in and out.

Piece of cake.

Sliding the door open carefully, you tiptoed in, facing back to ensure no one sees you.

Maybe if you’d focused more on the front of you, you would have seen the male.

“(L/N)-san?”

You shrieked, instinctively slamming the door shut as you fell face first on the ground. A bead of sweat ran down the side of his head as he looked at you.

“Are you alright?”

You picked yourself off the ground, wiping your face.

“This is humiliating.”

It literally could not get worse.

“G-Gomen, Komamura-taicho.”

You bow, hoping to regain what little dignity you had left.

“It’s good that you’re here, maybe you can help me. I received this earlier today.”

In his hand was the entire reason for this dumb mission. The small wrapped packet of chocolates with heart and doodles decorated around his name. Not to mention that childish drawing.

“I believe someone left it for me.”

You wanted a hole to just open up and take you right there and then.

“It’s strange, I’ve never received sweets before. It must be a joke. My subordinates seem to be restless lately.”

Those words made you pause, and you lowered your head. For some reason hearing him make that assumption hurt. It felt like a mock of your feelings.

“It’s not a joke.”

Your stern voice caught his attention. The second you lifted your head, his eyes widened at your pained expression.

“I have to go, please excuse me.”

He didn’t get a word in. You disappeared and Komamura looked down at the small bag in his hand, gripping it a bit tighter.

Since the encounter you were careful to avoid him. Considering you are a member of the thirteenth division, it wasn’t that hard. You just kept a low profile when there were collaborations on missions.

Rangiku of course caught on and apologized profusely after learning what happened. You knew she was just trying to help, so you couldn’t be mad.

“I promise I’ll make it up to you!!”

She then persisted to dash off into a random direction. Probably to go to the world of the living and get you more of those cute stuffed animals that she knows you adore.

With a soft sigh, you intend to head back to your squad. It’s been an exhausting few weeks.

“I made everything weird.”

You scratch your head in irritation. You still haven’t figured out a way to face him, much less apologize.

“My brain hurts.”

With a frown, you drop your head, trudging wearily through the barracks. Maybe running head first into a wall would distract you.

“Ooof!”

Your head ran into something alright. Staggering back, you look up. Golden eyes stared down at you. Every bone in your body went stiff. Komamura looked surprised. Maybe because he must have realized that you were avoiding him. Because he’d barely seen you in the last few weeks.

“(L/N)-san.”

More than anything, you want to run, because your chest hurts.

“He knows.”

That’s all you could think about. He knows about your feelings. You made a sloppy statement last time and then bolted. Now here he is again and you can’t even form words. At least not the right ones.

“I..I..”

You’re literally trembling.

It might be time to come clean, because nothing you say can cover up what was already discovered.

“I LIKE YOU!!”

Maybe you shouldn’t have yelled that. You don’t even make the mistake of looking at him. You just have to be honest.

“R-Rangiku said that in the world of the living this is how they make their feelings known. You weren’t supposed to actually get the chocolate. She snuck it from me and left it on your desk. I-I’m sorry!”

You bow, both for the embarrassment and your poor way of handling the situation. Komamura isn’t a monster. Surely he would have understood. It just felt pathetic. Cowardly the manner in which you tried to confess.

“You made them for me.”

You nod, head still bent. You can’t look up.

“I’m sorry!”

Komamura’s expression softens. He can’t help but appreciate it. He’s used to people being so forward about their admiration for him as a captain. But this is the first time that he’s received such a confession. It’s not like this is the first time that he’s been aware of you. You’ve accompanied him on a number of missions. Your work ethic was impressive. You may not have been a ranked officer, but he was fully aware of your strengths and achievements.

It was nice to be the admirer in his instance. Because he knows that he admires you.

“I think it’s honorable to put yourself in such a position when you’re uncertain of how the other person feels.”

The statement makes your eyes pop open. Raising slowly, you somewhat gape at him.

“He’s smiling..”

You can’t believe it.

“I apologize for making light of those feelings. I’m not fully educated on all the customs of the human world. But I have to admit that I admire this one. Will you give me some time to properly think about your confession? I would like to respond to you properly.”

This must be a dream. Not only has he acknowledged your feelings, but he’s willing to actually consider them.

“Y-Yes!! Of course take all the time you need!!”

You don’t even care if you sound desperate. The person you’ve been pining after for the better part of three decades has finally become aware of you.

Komamura nods.

“Thank you.”

He sends you the most heart stopping smile, and in that moment, you sort of want to kiss Rangiku right now.

Who knew her terrible idea would turn out so well.

[officialchristiancagebbgirlblog]

Punishment

Fic type: smut

Word count: 4281

This, I think, is the longest fic I’ve ever written holy shit. I’m not lying when I say this took days to write. I hope you guys enjoy!

You tease Christian from home while he’s out only to receive your punishment when he returns

Mention of: blindfolds, creampie.

Link to masterlist

Happy reading 🩷

“Are you sure you can’t finish early?” You pleaded on the phone. Being stuck in your shared hotel room while Christian was stuck at work training for an upcoming PPV was your least favourite part of travelling with him.

“No, honey, I have to keep going for another few hours, and then I’ve got a meeting about my match. I won’t be back until at least half 8?” You could hear the sadness in his voice; it bummed him out to know he had to keep going before he could be back in bed with you.

You sighed to yourself trying not to let it get to you, saying your goodbyes shortly after. Sure, it was only like 3 hours you had to wait but it didn’t change how much it sucked. He had already been gone since lunchtime for various interviews, work events. And at that point in the evening, you had exhausted all the channels on the television so nothing was grabbing your attention to keep you busy. All you could do was lay there on the bed and stare at the ceiling.

After what felt like 2 and a half hours but was only 1, you were still laying there. Not moving. Trying to come up with something, anything to entertain yourself:

“I could listen to some music!” You thought to yourself,

No. There weren't any songs that you could think of.

“I could go for a walk?”

But that involved dressing up. You were quite comfortable in your lingerie. Plus the weather wasn’t ideal…

“I could FaceTime my friends?”

Nah, they were going to be busy at this time for sure.

“I could maybe…have some fun? By myself?”

Absolutely not! Christian had made it very clear to never do that without his presence!

“I could…

I could tease him. Teach him a lesson for leaving me here with nothing to do!”

It was perfect. Show him what he was missing out on! You knew it wasn’t entirely fair on him as he didn’t have a choice. He had to be there today. But fuck that! He should know better than to leave you on your own.

But how to do it? You were already dressed in the right attire so there was no need to get up and put something on. Just imagining his reaction was enough to get your mind racing and it wasn’t too long before you picked your phone up again to start your photography session.

Taking a mix of photos and videos, you adjusted yourself into various positions so he could get a good look at your soft, warm body without revealing too much. You had to keep him hooked after all! It’s no fun if he saw everything through his phone screen!

It was daring, exciting to partake in this activity. The idea that he had to hide his excitement from others was exhilarating and you ate it right up. Perhaps the most daring thing, though, was the final video you sent to him where you lost control. All the photos that came out nice had been received, seen, and salivated over by him with red cheeks and a desperation to keep people from looking at his phone or asking him questions.

You got yourself all worked up that you forgot about his rule: no masterbation without his presence. So when you shot the video of your fingers under the soaked cotton of your underwear and hit send, the realisation hit 30 seconds too late of what you had gotten yourself into. Not only was it bad enough you took the video and actually sent it to him but he had seen it within seconds. Which of course meant you couldn’t delete it now. There was no hiding evidence.

7:45pm rolled around and you knew you were in trouble when he returned and didn’t give you the usual chipper smile and bountiful kisses all over your face. Instead when he entered the room, he stood at the foot of the bed with a growling frown. His cheeks were pink, his eyebrows were furrowed in an angry concentration, and his tight trousers proudly displayed his love to you. You should have been apologising, explaining yourself somehow. But the way the denim curved around his surely leaking cock was so distracting that you barely even noticed he took a hold of your ankles and pulled you down the bed.

Yelping as you were forced to sit upright at the foot of the bed, he placed two fingers on his right hand under your chin and forced your face upwards to look him in the eyes.

“You’ve been such a bad girl tonight,” he rasped with a slight upwards curl on the corner of his mouth, “I think you deserve to be punished for what you did tonight.”

Christian took a step forward closer to your face with his legs either side of you, trapping you in place. Not that you had any intentions of moving, however the idea that you couldn’t escape your fate was so delicious. He slowly started to unbuckle his belt making sure to take his sweet time. The leather squeaked slightly when he pulled it out of the hoops, and the metal played a sweet sound as it loosened and finally unbuckled. He took a step back as he worked on the zip of his trousers and finally the button, wasting no time in removing the clothing from his legs entirely. And there he stood before you. Tight black boxers hugged his hairy yet soft thighs, his cock even more prominent.

“Use your teeth.”

His tone was harsh, but his voice was soft and deep. You maintained eye contact with him as you leant forward towards the waistband with your mouth agape. You couldn’t help but giggle as he shivered to the feeling of your lips making contact with his body. Just as slowly as he removed his belt, you carefully took the fabric between your teeth and began to inch it down his long slender legs. He watched you the entire way down biting on his bottom lip to stop any pleas to go faster from slipping out. If the shiver wasn’t good enough, hearing him gasp in pleasure as his cock sprang free, slapping against his stomach surely did the job at soaking your panties.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, his boxers pooled around his ankles and he eagerly stepped out of them. Now kneeling on the carpet in front of him, he pulled you back up onto the bed. It was a far better view for him. Plus he wanted to know exactly where your hands were at all times. He couldn’t have you touching yourself now could he? Certainly not after your behaviour up until that point!

Taking hold of his now throbbing cock he took hold of your chin with his thumb and finger. With a devious smirk, he forced you to open your mouth wide for him. You stuck your tongue out for him to place the head on so you could begin relieving him. Beads of precum had formed at the tip just begging to be lapped up and tasted by you. And you were all too happy to oblige, using the flat of your tongue to clean him up. Christian’s head rolled back and his mouth fell open at the warmth and the wetness that suddenly appeared for him.

“Yeah, that’s it baby.” He purred as you began to gleefully take him deep into your mouth. His fingers tangled themselves in your hair as he took a rough fistful, rocking his hips with each pump of your mouth. It was clear he wasn’t going to last too much longer as moans began spilling from his lips, sweet nothings floating into your ears. The hair above his cock was beginning to tickle your face more than you liked so you pulled back to focus on the head of his cock. Still you kept his joy going by replacing the pumping action with your hand on his shaft. Going tip to tip with your tongue and his penis, you licked up and down, side to side, in circular motions keeping a steady speed to not rush his orgasm which was already fast approaching. But when your tongue began to dip into the slit of his head, he let out a breathless “oh god” and an “oh fuck!” before those sweet words were spoken: “oh god, baby, I’m cumming!”

As he whimpered out your name, sweet streams of hot cum shot out onto your still moving tongue. In normal circumstances, you would spit the cum out not being a huge fan of the texture but you felt it was deserved today. Once he pulled his still twitching cock out of your mouth, he instinctively reached for the nearby bin for you to spit out his seed. But you kept eye contact as you swallowed every last drop and showed him the evidence. His cheeks flushed a darker shade of pink and his eyes darkened at your actions.

“Stand up. It’s your turn.” He growled, pulling you up and pinning your front against the wall with an order to “stay there a second.”

You turned your head to watch him pick up a clean sock of his from the dresser. Somehow throughout your entire sex journey with each other, neither of you had thought to buy an actual blindfold. Surely by this point he had multiple odd socks that were looser than the other at this point. He returned to you, slipping the sock over your eyes and tying it behind your head in a tight, secure knot. He made quick work of removing only your bra, flinging it to a random corner in the room to be found hours later. Keeping your panties on seemed to excite him even more. He pressed his body against you, making sure your hair was moved out of the way to reveal your neck.

“Before we start, lovely,” he began, his dominant demeanour dropping for a moment, “if at any point you feel uncomfortable, you want to stop, tell me straight away okay? Don’t feel bad or scared to say it’s too much and we need to stop.” His fingers gently traced shapes on your shoulder as he whispered his concerned words to you, waiting for a response.

“I will, baby, I promise.” You smiled reassuringly over your shoulder, “I always feel safe with you and I want to do this really badly.” Although you couldn’t see it, he returned your smile and planted a gentle kiss on your cheek and then your lips, holding on for a second longer than he intended.

After receiving your consent to continue, he moved his kisses to your neck, sparing no time with leaving a trail of love bites down your skin on either side. He separated your legs with his which allowed his, once again rock hard cock to spring up between your legs, landing neatly between your folds through the soaked fabric. Beginning to rock his hips like he did before, the hairs on his chest and stomach tickled with each movement. He reached around to begin to fondle your bare breasts now leaving no space between your bodies.

“Does that feel good?” He cooed, his hot breath tickling your ear and sending a shiver down your spine. You couldn’t say anything so you just nodded. The roughness of his hands skyrocketed the pleasure as they kneaded your soft skin, taking some time to gently pinch your nipples. Mixed with the feeling of his slow thrusts you were in ecstasy. You let out a quiet whimper as your head rolled back onto his shoulder, his lips making their way back down to leave soft kisses over the marks he had made. There was a twinge of pain as your skin was sensitive but the moistness of his lips felt oddly soothing.

“Christian…” you gasped, “please I need more!”

Feeling him smirk against your skin made your body quiver and your legs feel like jelly. He guided you back to the bed with his hands on your hips before turning you around to face him.

“Mmmm…you look so beautiful right now!” You could hear the smile in his voice as he studied your face for a brief moment, “Let me get a good look at you, baby girl.”

Carefully he untied the sock trying not to catch your hair or hurt you accidentally. As it slipped off your face, you had to spend a second to adjust to the light, squinting hard before feeling comfortable enough to open your eyes normally. Christian’s hair was a little bit damp and messy from his enjoyment so far, sparse beads of sweat gently rolling down the side of his face before settling in his neatly trimmed beard. But despite the sweat, red skin, and mucked up hair, he had never looked so handsome and you found yourself leaning forward to show your love for him. There was no hesitation as he leant forward and closed the gap between your lips.

However the kiss, although full of love and a hint of passion, was short lived. That gleam in his eye from earlier returned as did his hard on which was just begging to be touched again. He pushed you back to lay down on the bed and took a rough hold of your legs to, once again, pull you down to the edge of the bed. Instinctively you tried to sit up but he held you down by your hips. The smirk returned as he shook his head at you for attempting to go against his order. That damned smirk. A part of you hated how it had so much control over you. You watched as he sunk down to his knees allowing his fingertips to gently slide down your thighs as he reached the floor. Licking his lips, he reached down to your thighs, making and maintaining eye contact with you. He left a trail of kisses leading up on either thigh being careful not to get too close just yet.

Every time he got close to the sweet spot you felt a small heartbeat on your clit. You were getting increasingly more desperate for his tongue to relieve you of the built up pressure.

“Oh god, you have no idea how good your pussy smells right now!” He moaned out, lifting your legs wide apart. He was becoming just as desperate as you were, practically salivating over the knowledge that he was about to be able to lick up every last drop of your excitement. He began to lick at your inner thigh where the crease of your skin started to become your right pussy lip. You fought back the sounds of pleasure by biting on your bottom lip hard enough to almost draw blood. The feeling of the top of his tongue trying desperately to slip under the fabric of your panties through the leg hole to get even just a hint of your taste was so intense. Clearly he had run out of patience as he grabbed either side of the waistband and yanked your panties off in one clean swoop to join the fate of your forgotten bra. He threw your legs over his shoulders as you watched him lick his lips with an almost silent “fuck!”, dipping his head down to return the favour from earlier.

The feeling of his whole tongue slipping between your folds to drag a slow, full lick from bottom to top was enough to make you lose concentration and let out a yelp of pleasure. You felt him groan against your wet lips sending a wave of pleasure upwards from the vibration. He said something in response which you didn’t hear as he parted your lips with either hand and delved in deeper, his tongue slipping into your entrance.

“You taste so good…” he barely mumbled, his mouth too busy to say anything else. You reached down to hold his head doing anything to reign in the feeling that was starting to become too much for you to handle any longer, but he was quick to grab your wrists before you even felt his slick hair under your hands. Christian looked up at you as he held them tightly on either side of your hips. Regardless of how much fun he was having, he was still determined to punish you for sending him those photos and that video. It could really go either way from here: either he was going to force an early orgasm so you were even more sensitive than you already would be, or he was going to completely deny you of that experience. He was still going to have his way with you but only one of you would be crossing that finish line.

His lips moved up north and hooked onto your clit, sucking roughly on that little button. Instinctively your legs tried to squeeze together from the intense pleasure, pressing against his ears. He took a hold of both your wrists with his left hand moving them to rest on your stomach to force at least one of your legs apart so he could reach you again. It took a fair amount of force to separate your leg from his head but he got there in the end, holding it as far away from his head as he could. His tongue flicked aggressively in all directions at your clit as you let out a strangled shout of his name, the pleasure being too much to stay quiet. Your hips lifted to his face as you felt your orgasm approaching which he sensed. He pulled off you with a satisfying pop, lips red and slightly swollen from the action. He spent a moment admiring his work, your pussy glistening and your clit throbbing from pleasure. Looking up to see your face, he let out a soft moan.

“Oh baby, that was a lot huh?” He teased, lips slightly pouting. Your face was beet red and hot, covered in a layer of sweat that continued all down your body and stuck long strands of hair to your forehead. With legs trembling, you pulled yourself up the bed to allow him to follow you, still on his knees.

“There’s a good girl,” he cooed encouragingly, “you ready for more?”

Admittedly you weren’t sure if you were. You were still so sensitive from him eating you out, you didn’t know if you could take a rough fucking especially for long. But as he moved your legs apart for the third time that evening, the concern left your mind.

“Please, Christian. I need you to fuck me!” You begged, becoming desperate for him again. He pursed his lips wondering if you deserved it.

“Hmmm…,” he wondered aloud, “maybe if you beg for it some more, I’ll fuck you?”

“You bastard.”

You spent a moment trying to think of the quickest thing you could say to get him to reward you. Perhaps you should apologise for teasing him before? That would surely get him to give you what you needed? Still watching and waiting for your pleas, he took a hold of his erection and began to rub it between your wet lips, making it infinitely harder to concentrate.

“I’m sorry I touched myself w-without your presence or permission. I shouldn’t have…” you swallowed thickly, the returning pleasure fuzzing up your thoughts, “I…I shouldn’t have done it. I promise I…I promise I won’t do it again.”

You looked up to see him smiling down at you, still teasing your vagina by rubbing with only the head of his cock. “What do you need from me, sweetie?” His voice was dark and lustful, needing to hear you say it one more time.

“I need…I need you to fuck me. Rough, hard, fast, in any way. Please don’t tease me anymore, I need- ah!”

He didn’t even wait to hear you finish, sliding his cock deep inside you. The feeling of him finally stretching you out was intoxicating. You both let out guttural moans as he wasted no time in burying his cock as far as it would go. Adjusting himself to a missionary position he began to snap his hips roughly pounding in and out of you. By that point, you had completely lost the ability to focus on anything but the feeling and the sound of his skin slapping against yours. Incoherent words fell out of both of your mouths. It seemed he shared your inability to create a coherent sentence. With your hands splayed across his back, you placed a kiss on his shoulder as he dug his fingers once again into your thighs. You were able to regain focus for just a moment as you tasted the subtle saltiness of his sweat on your lips.

“Oh fuck baby, I…I can’t last much longer,” you whimpered, “please, don’t stop!”

He simply panted in response, picking up the pace and angling his hips so he could hit that sweet spot. His lips brushed against the edge of your ear and you barely heard him whisper, “that’s it, tell me how good it feels.”

You really wish you could but you could only moan and whine in response, his thrusts being the only thing your mind could comprehend in that moment. That and your orgasm that was right there. It seemed that he picked up on the urgency of that feeling as he knelt up, pulling your hips with him so your legs sat on either side of him and your ass on his thighs. He stared you down, mouth hanging open, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as the pace he had set began to falter. Breathing heavily, he brought his thumb up to his mouth to suck on it for a brief second before lowering it back to your clit to rub circles on it. There was a growing tension in your lower stomach the longer he paired the two motions, which was moments away from releasing.

“Christiannn…” you whined out his name, your hips rocking and jerking with his, eyes squeezed shut. Sweat was dripping off his body and rolling down yours as he leant forward a bit to see your face closer. Your walls had become so tight around him as you teetered on the edge of release, just needing his encouragement. Your eyes opened to meet his and as he flashed you a sweet smile, you got what you wanted.

“Oh baby, please…cum for me!”

That’s all you needed, letting out a loud gasp and becoming still and tense. Rippling feelings of an intense release of bliss overtook your body as you came around his still thrusting erection. As you slowly came back down to Earth, you heard him whimper as he gripped your hips desperately. He lurched forward laying on top of you as his equally explosive orgasm hit, even stronger than his first one. His lips crashed against yours to stifle the noises of his pleasure not wanting to be too loud. After all, his pleasure was for you and you alone.

It took him a little bit longer to come down from his orgasm, eventually choosing to lay there still connected with you just trying to catch his breath. His face was buried in your neck, still quietly moaning against your skin, planting lazy kisses on the now bruised marks. Although the room was muggy and a little too hot with him choosing not to move over just yet, everything felt perfect. You traced random shapes on his sweat slicked back, your eyes glazed over in a post bliss. Finally he unpeeled his body from yours, the air cooling you down a little bit. As he gently pulled his cock out from inside of you, you felt his seed spill out from inside of you making you gasp and him chuckle at your reaction. He effortlessly picked you up to place you in the armchair near the bed as he began to clear the bed, not wanting to sleep in the now wet sheets. He had also, thankfully, turned the air conditioning on which helped clear up the room, choosing to also open the window behind closed curtains to let some fresh air in.

“I think I’ve…learned my lesson!” You mentioned, standing up to dry yourself off with a nearby towel. He shook his head with a smile, “I hope you have, otherwise I’d have to start all over again.”

Passing him the towel so he could do the same after new sheets were on the bed, you picked up the old ones and placed them in the laundry basket for him, climbing under the top blanket.

“I do want to say that it felt incredible as usual” you praised, as he slid in to lay next to you for a snuggle. He gently laid a kiss on your lips stroking your cheek with his thumb in response. You exchanged the usual ‘I love you’s as you settled down with bodies still buzzing in joy. He reached down to pull your leg over his hips so you were even closer, making you giggle slightly when he grumbled: “you’re so far away, what the fuck?” Planting another quick kiss to your forehead to hear you giggle one last time, he kept his lips near your face. Feeling the tickle of his breathing helped you drift into the best sleep you had in a long time. You continued tracing shapes on his skin which helped him drift away with you in a well deserved good night's sleep.

[leejenowrld]

Heyy babyyy!!🥺 Okay first of all I love you loadssss and cannot appreciate you enough for bringing out another chapter so soon!🩷

I’ve just read the inital part of the chapter, and here’s my perspective and some questions for you!! There’s already so much going on, but everything flows so naturally and hits so hard. While Jeno numbs himself with parties, fights, and meaningless hookups, MC just throws herself into her research and responsibilities to avoid thinking about him? That hit. Also that line about music dying for her? That shattered me cuz it says so much with so little. Also-MC and Mark being roommates now?? Love that detail. It adds such a comforting but bittersweet layer to everything, especially since he’s been a constant presence in her life.

The ‘fantasy boy draft’ tradition was such a fun and chaotic setup (I love the little touches with everyone’s pairings-Ningning and Chenle were so cute, and Jungwoo teaching Yunjin how to dougie?? Please, cuz why is it so Jungwoo😭, but my favorite pair was Karina and Jaemin cuz you picked my favorite two people and put them together (you may or may not recieve a few asks about this separately👀)). But the twist with Nahyun pulling Jeno’s name??? And the tension when Karina swapped the names-I was holding my breath. The way MC calmly told Nahyun the truth about being blocked… just chef’s kiss. No yelling, no noise-just quiet power. You can feel that she’s so done with the drama but still carrying so much pain.

And then Areum calling the breakup selfish?? Ugh. That stung, especially knowing what MC actually went through. But her just shutting it down with a “mind your business” instead of explaining herself? That said everything. It’s like she’s too exhausted to defend herself anymore, and that silence just hit harder than anything else. At the same time, I get Areum’s reaction, cuz even after her break up with Jeno, she really relies on him as a friend. If my best friend was in that state, I would have a similar reaction too.

Alsooo, I had a few thoughts and questions while reading-just things that stuck with me and made me curious:

• When the cheer team was over at MC’s place, the way Ryujin mentioned how well Shotaro treats her felt really wholesome, but then Nahyun immediately snapped. I couldn’t help but wonder-was that really about Shotaro? Or was it more about Nahyun herself? It felt like she was projecting a lot. Like maybe she’s insecure, especially since she seems to constantly crave attention (even from the Lee brothers), but doesn’t actually receive it the way she wants.

• Another thing that caught my attention-was there ever something between Karina and Jaemin? Because the moment she picked his name, there was this strange mix of familiarity and hesitation, like you mentioned. It didn’t feel like she was caught off guard-it felt more like she already knew he wasn’t into her, or at least believed that. Like she’s imagined the idea of them before but never dared to express it, maybe out of fear of rejection. That quiet “I already know how this ends” vibe was so subtle but so telling.

• Also curious about Ryujin and MC’s relationship-have they always been close? Or have they gotten closer because of Shotaro, or maybe even through a shared understanding of how Nahyun operates? There seemed to be a kind of quiet alliance between them, especially during the name-picking scene. Like they were aware of each other in a way that implied more history or mutual understanding than we’ve seen on the surface.

• And finally not a question, but I loved the thought behind MC’s basket. It wasn’t flashy or extra, but it felt so personal and intentional. It matched the whole purpose of the draft-relieving the boys’ stress before the big game-and it was so her. What I adored most is how it didn’t feel like she had to try hard. Jeno could probably take one look and know it was from her. That unspoken familiarity? It was beautiful.

You’ve built this tension so well-everyone’s trying to move on, but they’re all still carrying the past like baggage they can’t drop. And now that MC has to spend time with Jeno again?? I’m already bracing myself. Anyway, I’m obsessed, and can’t wait to uncover more!!

-💕

hii my love !! 🖤 giving you hugs right now. you always get it. like every little nuance, every detail, every wordless moment you pick up on, it’s exactly the kind of thing i bury into these chapters and hope will resonate, and seeing you pull it out like this makes me feel so so seen 🥹 first of all, you’re so spot on about them mirroring each other in their avoidance. jeno numbing with chaos and noise, y/n disappearing into work and responsibility — they’re both terrified of sitting still because stillness means feeling. and god, that line about the music dying? one of the most chilling lines. it’s the core of her right now, the place where her heart used to live is just… quiet. and yes, mark being her roommate is such a bittersweet comfort, he’s been her steady, her constant, but even that feels a little too quiet these days 🖤

okay let’s go through your questions!!

— nahyun’s snap about shotaro / ryujin you’re right. it wasn’t really about shotaro at all. nahyun’s biggest trigger is that craving for attention, and worse, feeling like other girls get it more easily than she does. especially girls like y/n, quiet magnetism, people gravitate to her even when she isn’t trying, and nahyun feels that contrast constantly. ryujin is naturally open and fair, so her comment came from a genuine place, but nahyun heard it as a spotlight shifting away from her. it hit a nerve she tries so hard to pretend isn’t there.

— karina and jaemin i have plans with jaemin is all i’m gonna say, i can’t reveal too much as i’m excited to show you guys where his character will go. what i will say though is that it’s more about quiet projections and what-could-have-beens rather than anything that ever really happened. karina is a realist, she rarely lets herself fall into fantasy — but with jaemin, she always wondered, what if. and she hates that little part of herself because it makes her feel weak, so she buries it. that moment with the name pick? it’s all of that bubbling up at once: familiarity, disappointment, the quiet ache of “i already know how this ends.”

— ryujin and y/n’s relationship beautiful question. they’re not close-close, not in the way mark or karina are to her, but there is this quiet, mutual warmth between them. like, y/n is a magnet — people just like her, they trust her energy even from a distance. ryujin respects her, sees the way she carries herself, and feels a natural pull to be aligned with her, especially in tense group dynamics. there’s a softness there, an unspoken understanding, even if they’ve never been deeply personal with each other. it’s the kind of thing that doesn’t need loud declarations. it just exists. it really speaks for itself how all of y/n’s friends would move earth for her and how those who don’t know her very well still feel a fondness and like towards her.

— the basket 🥹 yes. yes. you got it perfectly. it was intimate because it was effortless. she didn’t try to be flashy, she didn’t overthink it, she just knew what would make him feel safe and grounded, and that’s so her. jeno would look at it and know instantly: it’s her. she thought of me. and that familiarity between them, that history, it makes these gestures weigh so much heavier than they should. they are not people who move on easily, because their connection is so deeply ingrained, even the smallest actions feel monumental.

and finally — the tension of everyone moving forward but still dragging the weight of the past with them? yes. you’re exactly right. they’re all pretending to be fine, but underneath, they’re fraying at the seams. and now, forced proximity? game on. thank you for this message. i absolutely love getting into these layers with you — you’re such a dream to write for because you see it all 🖤 send me as many thoughts as you like, i’m always here for you <3

[54hzrps]

Would he have said it back?

Those three most infamous words. Did Jungkook even feel that way about her? Does she actually mean that much to him?

The words felt incredibly foreign to say to him, like she was speaking an alien language, but it also didn’t feel entirely.. wrong.

Jihoon didn’t have her full attention just yet, not until the flick of the blade echoed through the office.

Tears pricked at her eyes.

Don’t be scared. Jungkook’s voice repeated in her head. Don’t be scared, you have to be strong.

“H-He always liked my hair, from the first day we met.” The words felt like glass coming up her throat, knowing what was coming next.

The sharp edge finally moved away from her skin, only to cut through her hair. Piece by piece, pooling around her feet.

“This.” Ari flinched at the hair brushing against her cheek. “…will make a lovely little gift …” She sniffled back tears the best she could, but some still spilled down her cheeks. “Take her back to the room. She’s served her purpose, for now.”

As soon as the door shut behind her, encasing her in darkness, tears broke through like a dam had broken. A hand clamped tightly over her mouth to hide the sobs that tried to escape.

The strands tickling her shoulders felt like needles. All her life, she’d never cut her hair.

Something that was always apart of her, something Jungkook seemed to find so beautiful, was now gone.

Hours eventually ticked by, slowly Ari grew too exhausted to keep crying.

She pushed herself to sit up on the mattress, only for something to catch her attention; a crinkling under the weight of her palm.

There was a hole, as if a knife had slashed into the fabric, only a few centimetres away.

A breath hitched in Ari’s throat at what she found. Drawings. There were hardly any, enough to count on one hand. The papers had yellowed, the edges were frayed, yet they were still like finding treasure buried on an island.

“Bunny… You promise me, wait for me.”

A fresh wave of tears welled in her eyes. Her finger traced along the graphite. They were amazing, better than anything she could imagine doing. They reminded the day they shared their first kiss, when Jungkook’s painted butterflies up her arm.

A couple rouge tears escaped, falling onto the papers.

Guilt swarmed in her mind like a cloud of mosquitos. How could she think Jungkook was a monster? All the times she treated him like one.

He was raised by one, she could only imagine what he had to go through.

Jungkook was nothing like his father. He never let her go too long without something to eat, no matter how mad he was. He always forgave her, no matter what she did. Never let a single one of his men hurt her, from the first day they met.

Ari folded the papers back up, hugging them close to her chest.

“I promise, I’ll wait for you.” She whispered.

—

“JK?” Donghyun’s voice rang through the dark home. His voice bounced off the walls, but only an eery silence answered back.

The house felt dead. There was no more distant hum of the TV or soft chatter between the couple that lived here.

Even the dogs outside didn’t seem right.

“Jesus Christ.” He murmured to himself. Broken glass crunched beneath his shoes. Holes scattered randomly across the walls. Bright flowers that once sat near the front door lay squished on the floor. Alarming substances scattered through his boss’s office.

Donghyun pulled his phone out of his pocket, dialling the one person he could think to help.

“I think he’s officially starting to lose it.” He began once the other line picked up. “I’ve never seen him like this before.”

“How bad is it?” Yoongi’s voice muffled from the receiver.

“You’ll have to see it for yourself.”

There was a slight pause on the other end. “Alright, I’ll be there.”

The beep ending the call sounded like a bang compared to the endless silence of the house.

After wandering further in, Donghyun finally found who he was looking for.

“Hey. I brought you something to eat.” He set the bag down near his boss.

“You look like shit.” Donghyun crossed his arms over his chest lazily. Never had he seen Jungkook like this. Completely derailed, going utterly mad over a missing woman.

“Fuck, when is the last time you slept?”

—

You have to stay strong for me, okay?

Jungkook’s words echoed through Ari’s mind. Over again on repeat like a broken record.

She tried to hold on, tried to keep her promise to stay strong and wait for him, but it only got crushed like a bug under a boot time and time again.

“Get up.” Jihoon’s voice had cut through the silence of her room. “You are entertaining new guests tonight. They are eager to meet you, don’t make them wait.”

Ari stifled a whimper as she descended the first step of the stairs. Her muscles ached, trembling from how much energy it was taking.

“You can go faster than that.” Jungkook’s father piped up behind her. Before she could brace herself, a shove hit her back. It was small, hardly any effort put into it, but it was enough for her knee to give out, sending her tumbling down the stairs.

Everything around her blurred to black. Pain seared up her side, knocking all air of of her lungs. Static rang through her ears like church bell’s on a Sunday.

The pain eventually fizzled. Somewhat. Just enough to bring back the world around her. Hazily. Lights from the chandeliers hanging overhead. The sound of Jihoon’s shoes clicking down the stairs. The feeling of cold marble against her skin.

“You’re making them wait.” Jihoon sighed impatiently, as if she was being a disrespectful hostess to a gathering they planned together. He grabbed her by the arm, heaving her up to her feet.

The man pulled her outside, ignoring every whimper, tugging harder when her limping slowed them down.

“You’re going to show my friends and I a good time tonight. Then I’ll finally put you out of your misery, isn’t that exciting? You can finally see your precious Jungkookie again.” Jihoon whispered in her ear with a snicker.

See Jungkook again? Did that mean he was …

“Look at her.” One of the men whistled. “She must’ve been a pretty one, your son at least has good taste in something.”

“My son doesn’t have taste in anything.” Jihoon replied, his tone dripping with distaste, as if he was repulsed by the notion.

He shoved the defenceless girl forward, close enough for his friends to pull her in.

Touches roamed her body, grips tugged at her clothes. Lips pressed against her own, kisses scattering against exposed skin.

“Don’t turn away from me.” One of the men grumbled after a feeble attempt at avoiding another sloppy kiss. A slap collided with her cheek, sending her spinning to the ground.

Her sight faded to black once again as unbearable pain shot through her body, spreading from her side like a flaming virus.

Everything felt like it was spinning, as if she was on a merry-go-round that lost control. The voices around her grew increasingly fuzzy, stretching further away from her.

… Was this what dying felt like?

- 🫐 -

[omegaremix]

Record Store Victory Tour 2022.

They say that once in a while you should treat yourself. It’s not often I do. After nine months of stay-at-home recovery, I promised myself that, when I was in a better place emotionally and monetarily, I would. So I had a wild idea. I decided to do something for myself I’ve never done before: an island-wide ‘record-store victory tour’. It consisted of hitting up each and every music store I could and buy as many vinyl records, cassettes, and CDs I could.

It started when I received my third paycheck of the month, my tax refund, a monthly store bonus, and our company giving us full-timers an extra $1,000 from national tax breaks and major donations. It was 2018 and the timing was right. I was in a much better place than I was 10 years before and for the first time in a long time I was feeling great.

It was intense and exhausting, but I loved it. It felt great getting back into doing what I loved doing the most; visiting a record store and spending as much as I wanted to on anything and everything I was a fan of or read about. I chased the excitement of finding artists, albums, and sounds I always meant to take home with me and get the most bang for the buck as possible. It became one of the largest excesses of individualism I’ve ever done for myself and I was all the happy for it. In the end, I spent no more than $1,500.00 on 280+ titles across eleven stores. I had fun doing it, and I told myself that if I could, I’d do it again.

It’s now 2022, and a new record-store tour was way overdue.

 I missed the days where I’d get lost in the hunt and have the outside world fall behind me if only for a few hours. I never forgot the fascination of discovering those gems I waited years for and feeling surprised in finding the unexpected. In fact, those feelings never left me. I’m the same way now as I was then. I neglected myself for so long that I had to come back. And I did.

I’d return to all the stops I made last year. Gone are the ones who receded to online selling, and good riddance to the over-priced locations who’d scam anyone for three to four times the price. They would never get my attention from me. I even added a few new locations and then some. From the east end of Long Island to (now) some of Brooklyn and Manhattan’s most appealing stores, this year’s tour would be more extensive than the last - and the most expensive.

I knew I was better off financially than I was four years ago. I had way more in the bank than expected so I knew I could spend and feel guilt-free without the consequences or buyer’s remorse. You cannot even begin to imagine how much I laid out. Chances are it’s more than you ever want to.

And with money comes things I’d ultimately learn about this -tour. I no longer buy blindly and have Discogs at my hip. I’d discover specific albums and remembered searching through certain sections that changed the course of the visit. I’d revisit my Atari / Nintendo childhood via 7” and 12”s and also my alternative days when I told myself all the artists and albums I’ve once dismissed were actually OK. I even quit and cashed it in when I wasn’t feeling a store’s selection. Conversely, I’d go all-in and spend on genres and artists I felt I missed out on, plus insisting on giving my dealers a little extra for free records to keep them in business. That is what you call appreciation.

I’d tell myself to be patient and take all the time in the world for what I loved doing: staying in touch with myself. I’d build up my identity, to score style points, and separate myself from all the other vanilla people around me who “been there, done that”. Each and every record, tape, and disc I’d buy would be a beacon for me to shine on those who want to relate. They would all be ammunition for future playlists, broadcasts, and back-and-forth discussions on who-knows-what and what they don’t know.

In the end, I felt complete. I bought everything I wanted and did it all with no regrets. It’s the ultimate in self-care and the biggest favor I’ve ever done for myself.

Would I do this again? There’s always a shooting star’s possibility. I got it out of my system and things like these take a few years before I have a renewed urge to go for it. For now, there’s lots of titles I know I’ll never find in stores that I’ll find online. Should you ever have the chance to go all out and do a victory tour, do it. Do something guilt-free and with no regrets. Build yourself up, cross boundaries, take chances, and experience something that will stay with you forever. I promise you’ll be glad you did.

Needle & Groove:

Deodato: Artistry LP

Hank Crawford: We Got A Good Thing Going LP

Ronnie Laws: Friends And Strangers LP

Ron Carter: Blues Farm LP

Grandmaster Flash: “Flash To The Beat” 12”

Melle Mel & Duke Booty: “Message II (Survival)” 12”

Solitair ft. Choclair & Cardinal Offishall: “No Doubt” b/w “S.O.T.” 12”

Nu Shooz: “Point Of No Return” 12”

Techno Animal ft. El-P & Vast Aire: “We Can Build You” 12”

Frankie Goes To Hollywood: “Relax” 7”

System, The: “Don’t Desert This Groove” 7”

Academy Records (Manhattan):

Kool Moe Dee: “Death Blow” 12”

Prime Minister Pete Nice & Daddy Rich: “Kick The Bobo” 12”

Professor Griff & The Last Asiatic Disciples: “Pawns In The Game” 12”

Kool Moe Dee: “They Want Money” 12”

Queen Latifah: “Ladies First” 12”

Public Enemy: “Give It Up” 12”

Kool Moe Dee: “Wild Wild West” 12”

Heavy D. & The Boys ft. various artists: “Don’t Curse” 12”

Spoonie Gee: Godfather Of Rap LP

Original Concept: Straight From The Basement Of Cooley High LP

The Men: Devil Music LP

Stepdad SS: Mad About It LP

Vaaska: Ruido Hasta La Muerte LP

Institute: Re-Adjusting The Locks LP

Test Dept.: Compulsion (Machine Run) LP

Boy Harsher: Country Girl (Uncut) LP

Hubert Laws: Then There Was Light LP

Hank Crawford: Tico Rico LP

Richard ‘Groove’ Holmes: Dancing In The Sun LP

Glam: self-titled 7”

Perdition: self-titled 7”

Soaker: self-titled 7”

Strutter: self-titled 7”

Hombrinus Dudes: self-titled 7”

Deformed Conscience: self-titled 7”

25 Rifles: History Of Flags 7”

Funeral Shock: Paint Thinner 7”

Vagra: Refuse 7”

River City Tanlines: “The Devil Made me Do It” b/w “Nothing Means Nothing Anymore” 7”

Shizuo: “Sweat” b/w “Stop It” 7”

Code-13 b/w DS-13 split 7”

Billy Ocean: “Get Outta My Dreams, Get Into My Car” 7”

Stacey Q: “Two Of Hearts” 7”

Miami Sound Machine: “Bad Boy” 7”

Cameo: “Word Up” 7”

Lord Tariq & Peter Gunz: “Deja Vu” CS

Who’s The Man: motion picture soundtrack CS

Ata Kak: Obaa Sima CS

Captured Tracks:

Jon Lucien: Premonition LP

Ron Carter: Peg Leg LP

Ramsey Lewis: Love Notes LP

Hubert Laws & Earl Klugh: How To Beat The High Cost Of Living LP

Weather Report: Tale Spinnin’ LP

Olympic Runners: Don’t Let Up LP

Bootsy’s Rubber Band: Stretchin’ It Out In… LP

Jeff Lorber Fusion, The: self-titled LP

Blackbyrds: Unfinished Business LP

Herbie Mann: Sunbelt LP

Hank Crawford: Cajun Sunrise LP

Kool Moe Dee: Knowledge Is King LP

Blank Stare: self-titled LP

Police, The: “Every Breath You Take” 7”

Simple Minds: “Don’t You Forget About Me” 7”

Bangles, The: “In Your Room” 7”

Thompson Twins: “Hold Me Now” 7”

Janet Jackson: “Let’s Wait A While” 7”

Kim Carnes: “Bette Davis Eyes” b/w “Miss You Tonight” 7”

Alan Vega: Mutator CD

Marissa Nadler: The Path Of The Clouds CD

Record Stop:

Jon Spencer Blues Explosion: Now I Got Worry

Keelhaul: Subject To Change Without Notice

Outrage: Disharmony Brings Harmony

Lost Highway motion picture soundtrack

Candlebox: Lucy

Heavens To Betsy: Calculated

Lou Reed: The Blue Mask

Type O Negative: Life Is Killing Me

Judgment Night motion picture soundtrack

Stabbing Westward: Darkest Days

Lisa Loeb & Nine Stories: Tails

Goo Goo Dolls: A Boy Named Goo

Candlebox: self-titled

Collective Soul: self-titled (clear yellow case)

Mad Season: Above

Sponge: Wax Ecstatic

Collective Soul: Hints, Allegations, and Things Left Unsaid

Stabbing Westward: Ungod

Stuttering John: self-titled

Lou Reed: Transformer

Wattstax: The Living World

Beat Street Volume 2

Paul Simon: One-Trick Pony

Expose: Exposure

George Benson: The George Benson Collection Volume Two

Richard Marx: self-titled

Cheapo's (Commack):

Crusaders, The: Southern Comfort

Earl Klugh: Dream Come True

George Benson: Bad Benson

Brecker Bros., The: Straphangin’

Hubert Laws: The San Francisco Concert

Crusaders, The: Images

Richard Tee: Strokin’

Chuck Mangione: Feels So Good

Sonny Fortune: Infinity Is

George Benson: In Flight

Earl Klugh: Heart String

Hank Crawford: Don’t You Worry About A Thing

Tom Scott & The L.A. Express: Tom Cat

Crusaders, The: The Best Of The…

Ralph MacDonald: Counterpoint

Force M.D.’s, The: “Itchin’ For A Scratch”

Brecker Bros., The: self-titled

West Street Mob: “Let’s Dance (Make Your Body Move)” b/w “Monster Jam” (ins.)

Earl Klugh: Finger Paintings

Crusaders, The: Those Southern Nights

Sonny Fortune: Awakening

Depeche Mode: Black Celebration

Pig Destroyer: The Octagonal Stairway

Velvet Underground, The & Nico: self-titled

Rollins Band: Nice

Matthew Sweet: Altered Beast

Death: For The Whole World To See

Crowbar: Symmetry In Black

Cure, The: Disintegration

Menace II Society: original motion picture soundtrack

Run DMC: Greatest Hits

Queen Latifah: Nature Of A Sista’

X-Clan: Xodus

Gin Blossoms: New Miserable Experience

Matthew Sweet: 100% Fun

Indecision: To Live And Die In New York City

Rollins Band: Weight

Big Daddy Kane: Looks Like A Job For…

Pig Destroyer: Phantom Limb

Sisters Of Mercy: A Slight Case Of Overbombing

Sonic Youth: “Bull In The Heather”

Disposable Heroes Of Hiphoprisy: Hypocricy Is The Greatest Luxury

Porno For Pyros: self-titled

Ice-T: “Ricochet”

KRS-One: self-titled

Eric B. & Rakim: Let The Rhythm Hit ‘Em

Boogiemonsters: Riders Of The Storm: The Underwater Album

Vision Of Disorder: The Cursed Remain Cursed

Matthew Sweet: Girlfriend

Fugazi: Repeater + 3 Songs

Grandmaster Flash & Grandmaster Melle Mel & The Furious Five: Greatest Hits

Das EFX: Straight Up Sewaside

Jane’s Addiction: Ritual De Lo Habitual (censored)

Sponge: Rotting Pinata

Lost Boyz: Legal Drug Money

Dead Kennedys: Bedtime For Democracy

Rollins Band: Get Some Go Again

Pig Destroyer: Head Cage

Cure, The: Wish

Depeche Mode: Speak & Spell

New Jack City: original motion picture soundtrack

Ice-T: O.G. Original Gangster

EPMD: Business As Usual

Velvet Underground, The: White Light, White Heat

Depeche Mode: A Broken Frame

Higher Learning: original motion picture soundtrack

Pig Destroyer: Book Burner

Looney Tunes:

Halsey: If I Can’t Have Love, I Want Power  

My Bloody Valentine: MBV  

Full Of Hell: Garden Of Burning Apparitions  

Koyo: Painting Words Into Lies  

Every Time I Die: Radical  

Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist: Alfredo  

Pantera: Far Beyond Driven  

Henry Rollins: Think Tank  

Presidents Of The United States Of America, The: self-titled  

Pharcyde: Bizarre Ride II The Far Side  

Public Image Ltd.: Happy?  

Verve Pipe, The: Villains  

Velvet Acid Christ: Fun With Knives  

Psychopomps: Six Six Six Nights In Hell  

Kaada & Patton: Romances  

Parquet Courts / Parkay Quarts: Tally All The Things You Broke  

Nurse With Wound: The Sylvie And Babs High-Thigh Companion  

New York Dolls: self-titled  

Pure Disgust: self-titled

Diat: Positive Energy

Rogers Sisters, The: The Invisible Deck

Crusaders, The: Free As The Wind

Ronnie Laws: Flame

Earl Klugh: self-titled

Adrian Belew: Lone Rhino

Kurtis Blow: “The Bronx”

Flora Purim: Open Your Eyes You Can Fly

Bruce Hornsby & The Range: “Mandolin Rain” 7”

Bruce Springsteen: “My Hometown” 7”

Starship: “Sara” 7”

Rolling Stones: “Harlem Shuffle” 7”

Whitney Houston: “Saving All My Love For You” 7”

Robbie Nevil: “C’est La Vie” 7”

Samantha Foxx: “Touch Me (I Want To Feel Your Body)” 7”

Gloria Estefan & The Miami Sound Machine: “Anything For You” 7”

Bananarama: “I Heard A Rumour” 7”

Joan Jett & The Blackhearts: “I Love Rock ‘N Roll” 7”

Bruce Springsteen: “I’m Going Down” 7”

Pressure: Your Rage EP 7”

Plan A Project: 532 Seconds Of… 7”

Truth Inside: self-titled 7”

Record Reserve:

Def Leopard: “Pour Some Sugar On Me” 7”

Cutting Crew: “I Just Died In Your Arms Tonight” 7”

Kim Carnes: “Bette Davis Eyes” 7”

Eurythmics: “Here Comes The Rain Again” 7”

Huey Lewis & The News: “If This Is It” 7”

Janet Jackson: “Nasty” 7”

OMD: “If You Leave” (Pretty In Pink) 7”

Lita Ford: “Kiss Me Deadly” 7”

Don Henley: “The Boys Of Summer” 7”

Berlin: “Take My Breath Away” (Top Gun) 7”

Starship: “Nothing’s Gonna’ Stop Us Now” (Mannequin) 7”

Glenn Frey: “You Belong To The City” 7”

Make Or Break: Down For Life e.p. 7”

Poverty Bay Saints: self-titled e.p. 7”

American Cheeseburger: self-titled e.p. 7”

Riistetyt: Tuomiopaiva e.p. 7”

Transitions b/w After The Fall: split 7”

Insult: self-titled e.p. 7”

Degenerics, The: self-titled 7”

American Nightmare: “Four Song Demo” 7”

Embrace The Kill / In Defence / Hellmouth / Opposition Rising: split 7”

Wreck: Reap What You Sow e.p. 7”

Asinine Solution: My Dad’s A Goat! e.p. 7”

Sex Vid: Tania e.p. 7”

Steve Khan: Evidence 12”

Billy Cobham: Spectrum 12”

Crusaders, The: Chain Reaction 12”

Cheech & Chong: Los Cochinos@#!!* 12”

David Sanborn: Heart To Heart 12”

Spyro Gyra: Free Time 12”

Pat Metheny Group: self-titled 12”

Cars, The: Candy-O 12”

Paula & Carol: In The Magic Garden 12”

High Score: New Fuel 12”

Murder Suicide Pact: self-titled 12”

Insomnio: Happy Loneliness 12”

Ubasute: Tyranny Garden 12”

Terminal Youth: self-titled 12”

Sedatives: self-titled 12”

Sleeper Cell: self-titled 12”

High Card: Generation Y 12”

Massmord b/w Shades Of Grey: split 12”

Intensity: The Ruins Of Our Future 12”

R’N’R: self-titled 12”

Police Bastard: Traumatized 12”

Mrtva Budounost b/w Left In Ruins: split 12”

Still No Future: Under Pressure 12”

High Fidelity (first visit):

Weather Report: Mysterious Traveller LP

Chuck Mangione: Chase The Clouds Away LP

Urbie Green: Senor Blues LP

Sonny Fortune: With Sound Reason LP

Herbie Mann: Waterbed LP

Hubert Laws: Crying Songs LP

David Newman: Mr. Fathead LP

Al DiMeola: Elegant Gypsy LP

Herbie Mann: Bird In A Silver Cage

Richard Tee: Natural Ingredients LP

Grover Washington. Jr.: Feels So Good LP

David Sanborn: Promise Me The Moon LP

David Newman: Newmanism LP

Herbie Mann & Fire Band: self-titled LP

Roy Ayers Ubiquity: Mystic Voyage LP

Jackie Martling: Goin’ Ape LP

Pop Will Eat Itself: Box Frenzy LP

Freur: Doot Doot LP

Treacherous Three: “Gotta Rock” b/w “Get Up” 12”

Terror: One With The Underdogs CD

Every Time I Die: Gutter Phenomenon CD

Throwdown: Vendetta CD

Talking Heads: More Songs About Buildings And Food CD

Parliament: Up For The Downstroke CD

Joy Division: Closer CD

Cage: Hell’s Winter CD

Tha Alkaholiks: Coast To Coast CD

Goodie Mobb: Soul Food CD

Parliament: Trombipulation CD

Squarepusher: Ultavisitor CD

Batman Forever motion picture soundtrack CD

High School High motion picture soundtrack CD

Babes In Toyland: Painkillers CD

Every Time I Die: New Junk Aesthetic CD

Henry Rollins: A Rollins In The Wry CD

Deftones: Minerva CD

Parliament: Mothership Connection CD

Bootsy’s Rubber Band: Bootsy? Player Of The Year CD

Nitzer Ebb: That Total Age CD

Consolidated: Play More Music CD

Excessive Force: Blitzkrieg CD

Tool: 10,000 Days deluxe CD

Godflesh: Merciless CD

devL: self-titled CD

Parliament: Motorbooty Affair CD

Talking Heads: Stop Making Sense CD

Vfanhthore: Tremebunda Calígine RegionalistaCD

Sakrileg: self-titled CD

Sorgelig: Apostate CD

Rotten Age: Upadek ŚwiatłościCD

Tyrant Goatgaldrakona: Horns In The DarkCD

Sepulchral Cries: Misery Exhibits CD

Lihporcen: Illuminate CD

Sagverk: Sahataan Ne KaikkiCD

Sorgelig: Forever Lost CD

VolkeinBlucht:To Consume The Darkness Whole… CD

Tragedy Begins: Kleos Aenaon CD

Unholy Desolation: The Age Of Lost Souls CD

Torvara: Killing Culture CD

Sacristy: 4444 CD

Svartsorg: Agonie Des LichtsCD

Soundbombing (CS)

Kraftwerk: Autobahn (CS)

Poor Righteous Teachers: Holy Intellect (CS)

Dame: self-titled (7”)

High Fidelity (second visit):

Malcomb McLaren: “Double Dutch” b/w “Hobo Scratch (She’s Looking Like A Hobo)” 12”

2 Live Crew: “Me So Horny” 12”

Jackie Martling: What Do You Expect? LP

Kurtis Blow: self-titled LP

Animal Collective: Centipede Hz CD

Garbage: “When I Grow Up” CD

Filter: Anthems For The Damned CD

Pearl Jam: “Dissident”

Talking Heads: True Stories CD

Blind Melon: self-titled CD

Killing Joke: Democracy CD

Singles: motion picture soundtrack CD

Weezer: Pinkerton CD

Temple Of The Dog: self-titled CD

Filter: “Welcome To The Fold” CD

Seven Mary Three: American Standard CD

Folk Implosion, The: Dare To Be Surprised CD

Murs: 3:16, The 9th Edition CD

Double XX: Ruff, Rugged, & Raw CD

Aanomm: Dragging Hurtful Shame CD

Kveste + Neftaraka: Finis Coronat Opus CD

Alter Of Blood: Rehearsal 2018 CD

Cavus: The New Era CD

Darkness + Oltretomba: Horned, Winged And Grim CD

While They Sleep: La Nausee CD

Doden Grotte + Fullmoon Cult: Summon The Wolves Of War CD

Nostalgic War: self-titled CD

Pestem + Occulator: Bastards From Hell CD

Wraith: Shadows CD

Infernal Blast: Wolves Elitism Speech CD

Mordrean: Under The Black Frost CD

Iugulatus: Call Of The Horned God CD

Thantifaxath: self-titled CD

Basilisk: A Joyless March Through The Cold Lands CD

Darkness Creature: Darkness Do Mal CD

Nephilim: Klandestyn CD

Wolfenburg: self-titled CD

Blasphemus Crucifixion: Crude Burial CD

Dead To Earth + VolkeinBlucht + Idvarp: Three Way Split CD

Berzabum: The Compilation To The Infernorum CD

Lich: Cryptic Stench CD

Hatefrost: Frozen Land CD

Bloodrain: De Vermis Mysteriis CD

Nazghor: Diabolical Teachings CD

Graven Dusk: self-titled CD

Neocortex: Es Liegt Die Welt In Scherben ‎CD

Demonification: Obey The Antichrist CD

Cultus Funeris: Revertere Ad Locum Tuum CD

Liturgia Maleficarum: Totus Tuus CD

Mahdyhell: Conquerors of Hell (An Infernal Journey) CD

Neoheresy: Noc Ktora Dniem Sie Stala CD

Misanthrope: Noctivaga Tempestad De Inerme Conocimiento CD

Gestane: Dedicated To Total Devastation CD

Fornace: Deep Melancholic Wrath CD

Cultus Funeris: Revertere Ad Locum Tuum CD

Beheritbras: Goat Worshipping Blasphemic Metal CD

Freezing Blood + Widmo + The Sons Of Perdition: Desecration Rituals CD

Malaflame: Ca Del Diaol CD

* various artists: Nas Chamas Abismais Em Misantropia Luciferiana CD

Anger: Juvenile Anthems CD

25 Ta Life: Haterz Be Damned CD

Shai Hulud: Misanthropy Pure CD

Flipper: Generic CD

Nobodys: Hussy CD

Laughing Hyenas: Life Of Crime CD

Boysetsfire: After The Eulogy CD

Fugazi: Instrument Soundtrack CD

Toll: Christ Knows CD

Noisex: Over And Out CD

Leaether Strip: The Rebirth Of Agony CD

Hocico: Sangre Hirviente CD

Noisex: Serious Killer CD

Cobra Killer: Six Secs CD

Noisex: Groupieshock CD

Controlled Bleeding: Larva Lumps And Baby Bumps CD

Leaether Strip: Serenade For The Dead CD

Noisex: 1920.00 CD

Wolf Eyes + Black Dice: self-titled CD

Kraftwerk: Tour De France Soundtracks CD

Infinity Records:

Black Dice: Load Blown 12”sampler

Buzzcocks: Spiral Scratch 12″ EP

Deodato: Very Together LP

Jon Lucien: The Best Of… LP

David Sanborn: Taking Off LP

Spyro Gyra: Morning Dance LP

Hubert Laws: Family LP

Gary Bartz: Love Affair LP

Richie Cole: Keeper Of The Flame LP

George Benson: Blue Benson LP

Deodato: First Cuckoo LP

Lovebug Starski: “House Rocker” 12″

Robert Palmer: “I Didn’t Mean To Turn You On” 12″

Lou Reed: “No Money Down” 12″

Sugarhill Gang: “Sugarhill Groove” b/w “8th Wonder” 12″

Father MC: “Everything’s Gonna’ Be Alright” 12″

Billy Ocean: “Carribean Queen” 12″

Raveonettes, The: In And Out Of Control CD

Metallica: Garage Inc. CD

Zola Jesus: Versions CD

Sunday Records:

Prince: “1999” b/w “How Come U Don’t Call” 7”

Re-Flex: “The Politics Of Dancing” b/w “Flex It” 7”

Normal, The: “TV Overdose” b/w “Warm Leatherette” 7”

Gary Numan: “I Die: You Die” b/w “Down In The Park” 7”

Pet Shop Boys: “It’s A Sin” b/w “You Know Where You Went Wrong” 7”

Robert Palmer: “Simply Irresistible” b/w “Nova” 7”

Pet Shop Boys: “What Have I Done To Deserve This” b/w “A New Life” 7”

Bananarama: “Cruel Summer” 7”

Belinda Carlisle: “Heaven Is A Place On Earth” 7”

Dead Or Alive: “Brand New Lover” 7”

Joan Jett: “Little Liar” 7”

Killing Joke: “Adorations” b/w “Exile” 7”

Mike & The Mechanics: “Silent Running (On Dangerous Ground) b/w “Par Avion” 7”

Tone Loc: “Funky Cold Medina” 7”

Suzanne Vega: “Luka” 7”

Human League: “Don’t You Want Me” b/w “Seconds” 7”

Escape Club: “Wild Wild West b/w “We Can Run” 7”

Erasure: “Chains Of Love” b/w “Don’t Suppose” 7”

Don Henley: “All She Wants To Do Is Dance” b/w “Building The Perfect Beast” 7”

Starship: “We Built This City” b/w “Private Room” (ins.) 7”

Todd Rundgren: “Hello It’s Me” b/w “Cold Morning Light” 7”

Huey Lewis: “Stuck With You” b/w “Don’t Ever Tell Me That You Love Me” 7”

Stevie Winwood: “The Finer Things” 7”

Wings: “With A Little Luck” b/w “Backwards” 7”

Robert Palmer: “Addicted To Love” b/w “Let’s Fall In Love Tonight” 7”

Bananarama: “Venus” b/w “White Train” 7”

Joan Jett: “I Hate Myself For Loving You” 7”

Mike & The Mechanics: “Through The Living Years” b/w “Too Many Friends” 7”

Stevie Winwood: “Higher Love” 7”

Don Henley: “Dirty Laundry” b/w “Lilah” 7”

J.J. Fad: “Supersonic” 12”

Black Moon: “I Got Cha Opin” b/w “Reality” 12”

Big Daddy Kane: Raw ‘91 12”

Kurtis Blow: “If I Ruled The World” 12”

Jeru The Damaja: “Come Clean” b/w “D. Original Dirty Rotten Scoundrel” 12”

Fu-Schnickens: “Ring The Alarm” 12”

Young MC: “Bust A Move” 12”

Chaka Khan: “Crush Groove (Can’t Stop The Street)” 12”

Big Daddy Kane: “I Get The Job Done” 12”

Double XX Posse, The: “not Gonna Be Able To Do It” b/w “The Pure Thing” 12”

Domino: “Sweet Potato Pie” 12”

Masta Ace Incorporated: “Jeep Ass Niguh” b/w “Saturday Night Live” 12”

Fonda Rae: “Over Like A Fat Rat” 12”

River Ocean ft. India: The Tribal EP

Grandmaster & Melle Mel: “White Lines” b/w “Melle Mel’s Groove” 12”

DMX: “Born Loser” 12”

Grandmaster Flash & The Furious Five: “On The Strength” 12”

Anti Nowhere League, The: The Perfect Crime 12”

Mr. Mister: “Is It Love b/w “Broken Wings” 12”

Thompson Twins: “Lies” 12”

Roxette: “The Look” 12”

T’Pau: “Heart And Soul” 12”

Dire Straits: Extended Dance EP 12”

Flora Purim: “Stories To Tell” 12”

Raveonettes, The: Pe’Ahi 12”

Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark: “If You Leave” b/w “La Femme Accident” 12”

Nu Shooz: “Point Of No Return” 12”

Falco: “Vienna Calling” b/w “Rock Me Amadeus” 12”

Shirts, The: self-titled 12”

Belinda Carlisle: “I Get Weak” 12”

Captain Sensible: “Wot!” 12”

Young Gods, The: self-titled 12”

Men Without Hats: “The Safety Dance” 12”

Level 42: “Something About You” 12”

Killing Joke: “Sanity” b/w “Eighties” 12”

Pere Ubu: The Art Of Walking 12”

Kraftwerk: The Man-Machine 12”

Innocent, The: Livin’ In The Street 12”

XBXRX: Gop Ist Minee 12”

Cabaret Voltaire: The Crackdown 12”

Cars, The: Panorama 12”

Cheapo's (Mineola):

Krush Groove: motion picture soundtrack LP

Spyro Gyra: Carnaval LP

David Sanborn: Taking Off LP 

Lee Ritenour: Captain Fingers LP 

Rasa: Everything You See Is Me LP

Ronnie Laws: Fever LP

Hubert Laws: Say It With Silence LP

Earl Klugh: Living Inside Your Love LP

Billy Cobham: Magic LP 

George Benson: Blue Benson LP    

Nas: Life Is Good CD

Salt-N-Pepa: Very Necessary CD

Craig Mack: Project: Funk Da World CD

Notorious B.I.G., The: Ready To Die CD

Tool: 10,000 Days (non-deluxe) CD

Live: Four Songs CD

Bjork: Selmasongs CD

Henry Rollins: Big Ugly Mouth CD

Hole: Live Through This CD

Dead Kennedys: Fresh Fruit For Rotting Vegetables CD

Bad Brains: self-titled CD

Posies, The: Dear 23 CD

Les Savy Fav: Inches CD

Savages: Adore Life CD

Die Krupps: Odyssey Of The Mind CD

Peaches: The Teaches Of Peaches CD

VNV Nation: Matter + Form CD

Cyberaktif: Temper CD

Indecision: Release The Cure CD

Dead Kennedys: In God We Trust, Inc. / Plastic Surgery Disasters CD

Live: Mental Jewelry CD

John Cougar Mellencamp: “Paper In Fire” 7”

Bangles: “Hazy Shade Of Winter” 7”

Mike & The Mechanics: “All I Need Is A Miracle” 7”

‘Til Tuesday: “Voices Carry” 7”

Loverboy: “Working For The Weekend” 7”

Glenn Frey: “The Heat Is On” 7”

Fabulous Thunderbirds: “Wrap It Up” 7”

John Cougar Mellencamp: “Small Town” 7”

Jackie ‘The Joke Man’ Martling: Hot Dogs And Donuts CS

Madonna: The Immaculate Collection CS

Jackie ‘The Joke Man’ Martling: Rollin’ With The Punches CS

Innersleeve Records:

(No purchase.)

[frizzle-sideblog]

🫐 Reply

Would he have said it back?

Those three most infamous words. Did Jungkook even feel that way about her? Does she actually mean that much to him?

The words felt incredibly foreign to say to him, like she was speaking an alien language, but it also didn’t feel entirely.. wrong.

Jihoon didn’t have her full attention just yet, not until the flick of the blade echoed through the office.

Tears pricked at her eyes.

Don’t be scared. Jungkook’s voice repeated in her head. Don’t be scared, you have to be strong.

“H-He always liked my hair, from the first day we met.” The words felt like glass coming up her throat, knowing what was coming next.

The sharp edge finally moved away from her skin, only to cut through her hair. Piece by piece, pooling around her feet.

“This.” Ari flinched at the hair brushing against her cheek. “…will make a lovely little gift …” She sniffled back tears the best she could, but some still spilled down her cheeks. “Take her back to the room. She’s served her purpose, for now.”

As soon as the door shut behind her, encasing her in darkness, tears broke through like a dam had broken. A hand clamped tightly over her mouth to hide the sobs that tried to escape.

The strands tickling her shoulders felt like needles. All her life, she’d never cut her hair.

Something that was always apart of her, something Jungkook seemed to find so beautiful, was now gone.

Hours eventually ticked by, slowly Ari grew too exhausted to keep crying.

She pushed herself to sit up on the mattress, only for something to catch her attention; a crinkling under the weight of her palm.

There was a hole, as if a knife had slashed into the fabric, only a few centimetres away.

A breath hitched in Ari’s throat at what she found. Drawings. There were hardly any, enough to count on one hand. The papers had yellowed, the edges were frayed, yet they were still like finding treasure buried on an island.

“Bunny… You promise me, wait for me.”

A fresh wave of tears welled in her eyes. Her finger traced along the graphite. They were amazing, better than anything she could imagine doing. They reminded the day they shared their first kiss, when Jungkook’s painted butterflies up her arm.

A couple rouge tears escaped, falling onto the papers.

Guilt swarmed in her mind like a cloud of mosquitos. How could she think Jungkook was a monster? All the times she treated him like one.

He was raised by one, she could only imagine what he had to go through.

Jungkook was nothing like his father. He never let her go too long without something to eat, no matter how mad he was. He always forgave her, no matter what she did. Never let a single one of his men hurt her, from the first day they met.

Ari folded the papers back up, hugging them close to her chest.

“I promise, I’ll wait for you.” She whispered.

—

“JK?” Donghyun’s voice rang through the dark home. His voice bounced off the walls, but only an eery silence answered back.

The house felt dead. There was no more distant hum of the TV or soft chatter between the couple that lived here.

Even the dogs outside didn’t seem right.

“Jesus Christ.” He murmured to himself. Broken glass crunched beneath his shoes. Holes scattered randomly across the walls. Bright flowers that once sat near the front door lay squished on the floor. Alarming substances scattered through his boss’s office.

Donghyun pulled his phone out of his pocket, dialling the one person he could think to help.

“I think he’s officially starting to lose it.” He began once the other line picked up. “I’ve never seen him like this before.”

“How bad is it?” Yoongi’s voice muffled from the receiver.

“You’ll have to see it for yourself.”

There was a slight pause on the other end. “Alright, I’ll be there.”

The beep ending the call sounded like a bang compared to the endless silence of the house.

After wandering further in, Donghyun finally found who he was looking for.

“Hey. I brought you something to eat.” He set the bag down near his boss.

“You look like shit.” Donghyun crossed his arms over his chest lazily. Never had he seen Jungkook like this. Completely derailed, going utterly mad over a missing woman.

“Fuck, when is the last time you slept?”

—

You have to stay strong for me, okay?

Jungkook’s words echoed through Ari’s mind. Over again on repeat like a broken record.

She tried to hold on, tried to keep her promise to stay strong and wait for him, but it only got crushed like a bug under a boot time and time again.

“Get up.” Jihoon’s voice had cut through the silence of her room. “You are entertaining new guests tonight. They are eager to meet you, don’t make them wait.”

Ari stifled a whimper as she descended the first step of the stairs. Her muscles ached, trembling from how much energy it was taking.

“You can go faster than that.” Jungkook’s father piped up behind her. Before she could brace herself, a shove hit her back. It was small, hardly any effort put into it, but it was enough for her knee to give out, sending her tumbling down the stairs.

Everything around her blurred to black. Pain seared up her side, knocking all air of of her lungs. Static rang through her ears like church bell’s on a Sunday.

The pain eventually fizzled. Somewhat. Just enough to bring back the world around her. Hazily. Lights from the chandeliers hanging overhead. The sound of Jihoon’s shoes clicking down the stairs. The feeling of cold marble against her skin.

“You’re making them wait.” Jihoon sighed impatiently, as if she was being a disrespectful hostess to a gathering they planned together. He grabbed her by the arm, heaving her up to her feet.

The man pulled her outside, ignoring every whimper, tugging harder when her limping slowed them down.

“You’re going to show my friends and I a good time tonight. Then I’ll finally put you out of your misery, isn’t that exciting? You can finally see your precious Jungkookie again.” Jihoon whispered in her ear with a snicker.

See Jungkook again? Did that mean he was …

“Look at her.” One of the men whistled. “She must’ve been a pretty one, your son at least has good taste in something.”

“My son doesn’t have taste in anything.” Jihoon replied, his tone dripping with distaste, as if he was repulsed by the notion.

He shoved the defenceless girl forward, close enough for his friends to pull her in.

Touches roamed her body, grips tugged at her clothes. Lips pressed against her own, kisses scattering against exposed skin.

“Don’t turn away from me.” One of the men grumbled after a feeble attempt at avoiding another sloppy kiss. A slap collided with her cheek, sending her spinning to the ground.

Her sight faded to black once again as unbearable pain shot through her body, spreading from her side like a flaming virus.

Everything felt like it was spinning, as if she was on a merry-go-round that lost control. The voices around her grew increasingly fuzzy, stretching further away from her.

… Was this what dying felt like?

- 🫐 -

[sleepgarden-archive]

Winter transitions into Spring 🌷 The text reads:

He wakes, melting snow reveals a robin blushed chest, in his arms he bears a bouquet of sleepy tulips, healing from Winter’s last icy kiss. He forgives his thawed chamber, now nothing more than a pool at the edge of his memory, for its guiding hibernation taught him the true warmth of the sun. (MMXXIII) Hail Spring; his radiance in full bloom.

Prints on pressed flower paper are available in my shop (there’s a green option that is limited ^^) as well as lustre. If you’d like to take a look…

[whiskeynwriting]

Sloth

Dieter Bravo x Female Reader

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Word Count: 7k

Warnings: 18+ (minors DNI) drug use, dirty talk, praise kink, tiny daddy kink, oral (m receiving), handjob, light nipple play, rimming, mentions of bisexuality, unprotected vaginal sex, cumplay, established relationship, fluffies

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A/N: co-written with @phnyx beta-read by her and @fishingforpike can’t stop won’t stop lmao

For some reason I find myself feeling incredibly iffy on this one, and I never feel this way. It could be because there’s a new element in here that I’ve never written before, or the fact that this one is a little shorter than “Pride and Envy” and “Gluttony”. Either way, I hope you enjoy my lovelies <3 don’t hesitate to let me know your thoughts

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It isn’t unusual for him to be this stubborn, nor is it for him to be so self-absorbed. But in a certain sense, you were attracted to it; and in that same sense, you hated yourself for it. How can a human live in a state of perfect balance while being in such disarray? 

When you came back, you walked directly into a cloud of smoke; not exactly a rare occurrence, nor an unpleasant one. Dieter had basically hot-boxed the room, and you could care less. It’s not like it’s your house. The two of you were staying out of state for a movie he was shooting, this luxury hotel being your home until he was done with his work here. And since your job was remote, setting up shop with your laptop at cafes became your regular routine.

He’d glanced up briefly when you walked in, giving you a barely-there nod before his brown eyes returned to the magazine in his hands, likely browsing some gossipy cover. He was tired, you didn’t have to know him to know that. While lounging on the couch, he usually wore his signature pajamas, the exact outfit he slipped into every time he came back from set. Those loose, striped pj pants, that long, pukish-green robe, and a purple short-sleeved shirt. But he must not have done his laundry last night, because today, he’s wearing something different, and wearing much less.

“You were never good at these.” You tease him, sliding your tongue along the edge of the paper.

“Yeah…” He sighs, leaning further back. “Don’t know why, though.” 

Dieter had always been good at rolling joints, he just liked to watch you do it. Or rather, he liked to watch your little fingers work, your tongue sliding along the paper shortly afterwards. You have a knack for it, he’ll give you that. 

After changing into some comfier clothes, you sat on the ground between the coffee table and couch, leaning against the cushions. Dieter was lying sideways, wearing that fluffy, dark brown coat that makes him look like a giant teddy bear, and he wasn’t wearing anything underneath it. The edges of it hang off his sides, draping onto the couch. The only other thing he’s wearing besides his jewelry is an incredibly old pair of dark gray boxers, short enough for you to see his teeny elephant tattoo. Reaching out, you gently poke it, tracing it with your fingernail. And it makes him giggle.

“Quit it.” He says playfully, smiling. He’s so ticklish.

But you still sigh, aggravated with him. You’d been asking him for attention, any kind of sexual or romantic touch, but he didn’t seem to be in the mood today. Now, don’t get him wrong, Dieter was just as sex crazed as he always was; he could never get enough. If he had the energy, he’d fuck you on the couch right now. It’s the fact that he’s so incredibly tired from his day, so exhausted that he’s unwilling to even try. Dieter had so many talents and knowing how to please you was definitely one of them. But on his lazier days, he just didn’t feel like using them.

“Dieter, please.” You beg, whining beside him as you hand him the joint.

Happily, he takes it, immediately lifting it to his lips with the lighter already lit in his other hand. His lips connect once on the bud resting on his lower lip, inhaling deeply.

“Aren’t you happy to see me?” It comes out as a small whimper, even though you don’t mean it to. But it makes him look over at you, furrowing his eyebrows slightly. 

The joint held between Dieter’s lips continues smoking from the end, now setting down the lighter he’d just used. With a heavy sigh and a small grunt, he changes his positioning, now sitting up to address you.

“Of course I am.” He reassures you in that gravely baritone; oh, he really is so tired today, isn’t he? 

Giving him your best innocent eyes, you then ask, “Then why don’t you want me?”

It’s the funniest thing, you being aroused by him right now. You came home to a completely baked, slightly buzzed, entirely soft Dieter. The man looked like he hadn’t showered since he’d been home nor washed his clothes in days. His hair is a mess, his outfit is ridiculous, and his surroundings couldn’t be messier. But to you, this was Dieter. Chaotic, lazy, disheveled Dieter. He’s your baby boy, your puppy dog, your big teddy bear. And even though he didn’t always take care of himself, he always made sure to take care of you.

“Oh kitten,” Dieter lifts a hand to run it over his face, releasing another heavy groan of a sigh. “I’m too tired. Don’t you know aallll I do in a day?”

He looks down to see you pouting, and you’re not faking it, either. “Sweetie,” He continues softly, “I had four fittings today, I’m exhausted! A star like me needs his time to relax, not do anything.” He waves a flimsy hand in the air, taking another puff of weed. 

“You never do anything,” You mumble, glancing down while twiddling your fingers. “Not when you’re home. Not with me.”

“You know that isn’t true.” He furrows his brows at you, exhaling the smoke. 

“Not lately.” You reply in that same mumbly tone. 

“I fucked you last night, sweetheart.” Leaning down, he gently taps your chin with his thumb. “Remember when I made you drool?”

You do remember, you remember it all too well. Dieter had you from behind, pinned down beneath his weight with a fist in your hair. Your knuckles still ache from how hard you were clutching your shared bedspread, your throat still a little hoarse from how many times he’d slid down the length of it. It also didn’t help that you were moaning for two-plus hours. 

“Baby,” Comes your sudden gasp of a whine. “I want it, I want it again.” 

Sure, Dieter was sex-crazed. But you could be, too.

“Dammit kitten,” He chastises gently, “You can be such a needy little thing.” 

Usually when he says you’re needy, it means he’s going to take advantage of it. But not this time. 

Laying back to breathe in the smoke once again, he sighs. “Can’t be bothered; daddy’s tired.” 

“Dee,” Comes your second whine of the night, that small word a reference to more than just his given name. 

Your head is leaning against the couch cushion, resting just beside his outer knee. Reaching between his legs, you slide your hand along his inner thigh, smoothing your palm over the center of his boxers. Looking over his form, you eye his jewelry, his tattoos, the sight of them making your throat feel dry, a tingle shooting through your thighs. And he hums out a gravely sigh.

“You want it that bad, huh?” Dieter then asks, a lazy eyebrow raised. Your eyes meet his, nodding just a little for him. 

The space beneath your palm rises just the slightest bit, hardening from your touch. While keeping his gaze, you smile. He’s so easy to excite. 

“Well,” He sighs, shrugging while giving you a teasing grin. “If you want it so bad, you’ll have to do it yourself, kitten.” 

In all honesty, Dieter isn’t sure what you’ll do with this proposal. Will you huff and walk away? Touch yourself in the bedroom until you’re satisfied? Or will you stay frustrated with him, waiting until late in the night or early tomorrow when he’ll likely want to fuck? Lucky for him though, he’s pleasantly surprised. 

“You want me to do the work today, baby?” You then ask, giving his semi a little squeeze. “Hm?”

“Oh…” Mouth dropping open, he nods. For a second there he really thought he wasn’t getting any tonight. “Hell yeah I do.” With a smile on his face, he wiggles his hips on the cushions, eagerly awaiting your next move.

“Huh,” You tut, clicking your tongue while staring up at him. “You sure seem to have some energy now.”

“Well,” He shrugs, rolling his eyes with a grin. And then he shifts again, situating his legs on either side of you. You laugh.

“You don’t even know what I’m about to do!”

“I know what I want you to do.”

“Selfish.” You roll your eyes, only partly joking. But he’s right, you were heading in this direction. 

“Yeah, but you like it.” He shrugs again, leaning even further back. 

God dammit, how could one man be so lazy yet so cocky? Although, when Dieter wasn’t feeling lazy, he had the ability to make you absolutely dumb, just like he did last night. He fucked you until you couldn’t take it anymore, until you were a babbling, compliant mess beneath him. So, maybe you can return the favor today.

Reaching up, Dieter takes a hold of his joint between two thick fingers, watching you from above. His lips connect briefly, sucking in before blowing out a small cloud of smoke. He does it while settling further back against the couch, spreading his legs a little wider for you. Slowly, your hands trailing up his calves, his thighs, fingertips squeezing the meat of them gently. When your tongue pokes out, wetting your lower lip, Dieter’s head rolls to the side, a sluggish smile crawling across his face. 

“Yeah…” Comes his heavy sigh, jaw dropping just slightly while he watches you move. 

By now, he’s fully hardened beneath your touch. The thought of sex alone was enough to get him riled up. While slipping your fingers over the edge of his boxers, tugging them down ever so slightly, he leans over to put out the bud in the nearest ashtray to his side. While reaching for another joint, one he’d rolled quite loosely, he lifts his hips for you, allowing you to slide his boxers all the way down to his feet. And as you follow them down, you give him kisses, placing your lips on the softness of his thighs, that delicate little elephant tattoo, trailing down to his calves, and sighing while you do. 

“Oh, baby…” It comes out as a quiet whine, looking up to watch his chest rise as he inhales deeply. 

Seeing Dieter naked, or in this case nearly naked, was always so satisfying to you. It was like a breath of fresh air, seeing the man that you love like this, completely bare for you. And honestly, Dieter had reason to be cocky. He was uncut, and while that may not be to everyone’s taste, it genuinely made you drool. The length of him was average, but his girth certainly was not. And you loved how thick he was, every inch of him filling you entirely and dragging pleasurably against your walls. 

“I love when you do this, baby.” He mutters, releasing a short grunt when you grip him gently. 

“Yeah?” Glancing up to meet his eyes, you lay out your tongue on the underside of him. 

Those sweet, brown eyes go soft upon seeing your beautiful face, your pretty mouth starting to go down on him. You slide your tongue up his shaft, watching him sigh while you look into his eyes. It’s done loosely, dragging his foreskin upward as you do it. But then you pull it back, looking down at his reddened head to flick your tongue across his slit. 

“Fuck me,” He moans, joint hanging on his bottom lip.

The curve of Dieter’s belly rises and falls, his hazy mind already swimming with bliss. He watches you lean up onto your knees, angling your head downward and allowing a trail of spit to fall onto his tip. With a smile on your face you pull his foreskin back, watching your saliva roll down his shaft. It’s not long after that that you take him into your mouth, wrapping your lips around his crimson head. 

“Oh,” He chokes, feeling your tongue slide over his delicate skin. 

Whenever you went down on Dieter, you made sure to go slow. To say the least, the man could cum quick. And you weren’t sure if he’d be up for round two tonight, so you make sure to take your time. 

Amidst his hazy state, Dieter’s head lolls to the side, eyes falling on the mirror not too far from him. The hotel you’re staying in is decorated lavishly, almost gaudy in appearance. And the six-foot mirror facing him is no different. While gazing into it, he smirks, watching as you go down on him. Jesus Christ, he loves this. He can see your pretty frame resting on your knees for him, nestled between his spread legs. And while watching your reflection, he pets at your hair, brushing some of it aside. You really were willing to do anything for him; and he doesn’t even need to work for it. 

Closing your eyes as you begin to work, you keep your fingers circled around his base, sliding him further and further into your mouth. Before allowing him into your throat you move up, tonguing his tip before swallowing him again. And while he’d sat up entirely straight at first, he now allows himself to relax, resting back against the couch and letting his head fall back. His dominant hand allows him to smoke, the other one landing on the top of your head. And although he’s too tired to put any real effort into this moment, when you reach his base, he still holds your head down so you can choke on him. 

This is when you gag, your movements graceful until now. Drool begins to drip from your mouth, wetting the longer hairs scattering his pelvis. He never kept himself trimmed, and for some reason, you kind of like it. 

“That’s it, kitten.” He grumbles, lifting his head to look down at you. “Such a messy girl for me.” 

Dieter’s mouth drops open just a little bit, the joint hanging on his lips when you gag again. But you stay down for him, you always do. And when he finally allows you to move you shoot backward, gasping for air. All he does is smile, taking in another puff of smoke. He inhales sharply, almost a hiss, before blowing the small cloud out of the side of his mouth. 

“You’re always so good at it.” Then he gives you a single nod. “Do it again, will you, kitten?” 

More than eager to comply, you go down again, taking him in one swallow and feeling the couch rock as his head thumps back against the top of it. He groans heavily, leaving the joint on his lips and bringing his other hand down to your head. Those talented fingers intertwine with your hair, scratching your scalp gently. And when you moan around him he pulses against your tongue, his hips shuttering ever so slightly. 

In the back of your mind, you’re thinking about what you can do for him, what will feel best, what he’ll enjoy most. Oftentimes, you thought about his other relationships, the ones before you. You considered what they brought to him, sexually and otherwise. It was like a challenge to you, and so far, you could do everything they did and more. And according to Dieter, you did it better than them, too. But there’s one thing you haven’t done that is currently popping into your mind…

From the angle you’re at, you can see him perfectly, his entire body. One thing Dieter certainly did not have was shame. Since the first night you slept together, he was all in. He spread his legs wide when you first went down on him, and this time is no different. Only now, you can see his sex entirely, his full length laying on his belly when you released him, his scrotum resting beneath the thickness of him… and that forbidden little space you’ve yet to befriend. Maybe he’d enjoy that. 

“Uh-huh,” He nods, the sound coming from his open mouth. He’s watching you move up and down, slowly twisting your hand beneath your mouth. 

Your tongue wiggles on the underside of him as you continue to bob up and down, moaning when you can and breathing through your nose. But the size of him sometimes made even that difficult. Dieter likes to see you struggle to take him though, his chest sighing out heavy breaths while you drool around him, tears pooling in the corners of your eyes. 

“No, no,” He protests, urging you back down. 

“Sh…” You’ve lifted yourself from him, giving another ounce of spit before wrapping your entire fist around him. 

With excitement tingling in your belly, you lower yourself just a bit. You wonder how this will go. Will he like it? Will you? He’s talked about past partners doing it before, but never once did it cross over to you. And on the opposite end of this, Dieter’s done it to you, and you want to make him feel just as good. 

So you don’t give him too big of a surprise, you start out gentle, slowly making your way down. Your lips fall to his balls, licking and mouthing at them while he moans. And while you’re doing this, you jerk him off with firm, languid tugs. Inch by little inch, you creep down, your tongue sliding lower and lower while you continue to lick him. And above you, Dieter barely notices. All he’s registering is the euphoria flowing effortlessly through his brain. 

“Hm…” The hum you exude shivers directly through his center, the muscles in his thighs tensing from it. You notice this, lifting your free hand to massage the sweet meat of his upper legs, feeling him relax even further under your touch. 

Landing on the relatively smooth space between his scrotum and cheeks, you give him time to adjust, that is, if he’s even noticing. Moving your hand up to his tip, you give it a gentle squeeze, earning an unruly, erotic cry from him. He loves to be teased. And it’s in this exact moment that you make your first swipe, your tongue sliding along the tighter muscles you’ve yet to explore. 

“Uh-ugh,” Comes his punched out gasp, eyes shooting open to look down at you. 

At first, his reaction makes you nervous, an intense heat washing your entire body with anxiety. But you don’t stop, you just keep yourself there, meeting his gaze. He’s panting now, but he doesn’t say anything. So, experimentally, you do it again.

“Oh my god.” He babbles loosely from his mouth, fingers taking hold of the blunt he’d been smoking. He lets his forearm land on the armrest of the couch, letting the bud simmer between his fore and middle fingers. 

Again, another swipe, deeper this time. Your hand is still working him, and this is when you get a definitive answer on whether or not he’s enjoying this surprise. His head falls back again, a guttural groan released from his throat. Almost of their own volition, his legs spread even wider, hips lifting up a little higher. 

Wow, he really does want this.

“Y-Yeah…” Dieter stutters out a sigh, mouth falling agape while his head continues to lay back. 

“Mm,” Comes your enticed moan, excited now that you’ve been given full permission to do this.

When Dieter moved his legs wider for you, it allowed you to see more of him, too. His cheeks separated that much more, allowing you to wiggle in even closer to the space between his legs. This time, you go in slowly, sliding your tongue up the entirety of his hole. You can feel his tight muscles twitch beneath you, your free hand now dropping to his right cheek. Grabbing him, you open him even wider, feeling his cock throb in your hand. 

“W-What,” Dieter lifts his head, confused when you pull away. “What’re you doing?”

Reaching behind your back, you find the coffee table, pulling it closer to the couch. And then you look up at him, sliding both hands over his thighs. 

“Put your feet on the coffee table, baby.” All he can do is stare dumbly at you. “Let me lick you.” 

“Fuck me…” 

As if he’s too high to even move, you help him, leaning down to lift one foot onto the small table while he moves the other. Now, he’s got his thighs on either side of your head, both of his hands falling to the couch cushions as he searches for something to grab. He doesn’t let go of his joint, though, in fact, when you return to your work, he takes another breath. 

Looking back into the large mirror behind you, he grins breathlessly, watching you perform this new act for him. It’s so fucking sexy, watching you do this to him. The sight of it makes his muscles clench, your groan shivering through his hips. 

“Baby… yeah…” He moans deeply from above, pinching his eyes shut when you begin to lick him deep. “Just like that, oh yeah… that’s so good…” 

He’s twitching in your hand and pulsing against your tongue, the sensations almost too much for him to handle. And still he sits back, watching you do everything for him. The hand you’re not using to jerk him off wraps around his thigh, keeping him close, and he moans when you drag your nails across his sensitive skin. Every now and then your nose nudges his balls and it makes his head fucking spin. He can’t believe you’re doing this, he can’t believe you’re doing this for him. 

“B-Baby,” You continue to lick him, even through his passionate whines. His stomach and legs flex around you, his toes curling, his teeth digging into his lower lip. “That, that feels so good, you don’t even know…”

Dieter’s praise made you the happiest woman in the world. He was so much more experienced than you, so to know that even through the multitude of men and women he’s slept with, that he wants you… it was a feeling you couldn't even fathom until he gave it to you.

His hips push up, shoving his fluttering hole closer to you, wanting you to have the best access to him, all of him. And this is so beyond sexy to you, to hear him fall into a whiny, moaning mess from you licking his little hole while jerking him off. You never expected it to be so thrilling for you, too, the entirety of your being fizzling with excitement and adrenaline. 

While you’re tonguing his hole, prodding gently into the taut little ring, he looks up. He’s breathless when he speaks, his chest fucking heaving. “You look so good like this…” His voice is hoarse, and he clears it, swallowing briefly. “So pretty like this, kitten.” 

Your open-mouthed moan makes him whine, his tongue sliding over his bottom lip when he feels your own circle his asshole. And you grin at this, giving a small giggle from beneath him. 

“Still feeling too lazy for this, Dee?” You’re mumbling over his slicked-up skin, eyes flickering up to meet his.

“Don’t you dare fucking stop.” He immediately grits out, shaking his head. “Keep going, please keep going.” 

Closing your eyes once again, you let yourself dive in, moving your tongue incessantly against him. It’s grown sloppy, your motions erratic and almost frenzied. And he’s enjoying every fucking minute of it. When you let go of him, intending to bring your hand down to fondle his balls, he reaches out for you.

“No,” He begs, bringing your hand back up to him. “Keep your hand there.”

But then he doesn’t leave. He wraps his own hand around yours, the both of you jerking him off while he now thrusts up into your hold. It makes you gasp, seeing him this turned on by what you’re doing to him. Helplessly, he ruts up into your hand, keeping his grip on yours tight so the pressure feels just right for him.

“Yes, yes!” He nearly wails, and before you can say anything, before you can pull away and make him wait, he cums. 

It shoots all over his belly, some spouting all the way up to his chest. It comes out in gooey spurts, hot and sticky as it litters his skin. You moan while watching him, his head falling back while his eyebrows furrow, eyes pinching shut while his mouth tries desperately to hold onto the joint he’d been smoking. But he wants to open his mouth fully, wants to moan out wantonly. And while you’re enjoying the show of Dieter making a mess of himself, you continue tonguing him, rolling the wet muscle along the rim of his hole over and over again. It’s shocking, how much he cums, the amount of it sliding down his sides just a bit. That’s a shame, you wanted it in your mouth. 

“Oh my god,” He huffs out, chest heaving with desperate attempts to try and catch his breath. “Holy fuck.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Dieter nods breathlessly, shaking his head quickly in response. He closes his eyes, repeating himself before his dry lips meet with a swallow. And you can see him start to relax. He reaches to the side, grabbing the blunt he’d left in the tray as he returns to lay on his back along the couch. 

“Dieter,” Your whine makes his eyes snap open, head turning to the side. “I want more.” Your chest is heaving, you can’t help but beg. You do want more, you want more of those whines, more of those grunts, more his beautifully erotic expressions.

“Ride me,” He blurts out. “Fuck, ride me.” 

Immediately, you rise to your feet, shimmying out of the shorts you’d pulled on when you came home. You slide your panties off alongside them, now climbing on top of him. There’s a dirty shirt laying on the ground that you quickly grab, using it to wipe off his tummy. 

“You miss me? Huh?” 

You toss the shirt to the floor, placing your hands on his chest to lean forward. 

“Yes baby, I don’t ever get enough of you. You’re always gone, Dee, I miss you.” 

“Then show me,” He swallows again, steadying his breaths. “Show me how much you miss me, kitten. Maybe it’ll make me stay home for you.” 

He’s still hard beneath you, feeling the delicate skin of your lips rest on top of his shaft. Again, he keeps the joint between his lips, both hands reaching to squeeze your hips. And when he does, you lift yourself, keeping your eyes on his beautiful face while you position him. Dieter’s eyes are trained elsewhere, though, he’s gawking at the space where the two of you will connect. 

“Dee…” It’s an exasperated sigh, huffed out as you sink down. He stretches you wide, painfully so, your walls throbbing around him from the intrusion only when he’s halfway inside. 

He feels it, of course he does. “Fuuuck…” he groans, mouth hanging open. 

The small wiggle you give your hips when you’re entirely seated on him makes him grin. He releases a short and quiet giggle, one hand rising to trail up your torso.

“Take off your shirt.” He gently orders, eyes fixated on your covered chest. “Let me see your tits.”

You do as he says while forming a smile on your face. “Who’s needy now?” 

Dieter laughs, a cocky half-smirk on his face. “You know you love me.” 

As soon as it's off, those two large hands move to paw at your chest, cupping you gently before digging his fingers in. He holds them while you start to move, swaying your hips. 

“Oh, kitten,” He sighs, releasing your breasts. His dominant hand returns to his lips, taking a puff before removing the blunt. The other falls to his stomach, lazily brushing the pads of his fingertips across one of his nipples. “You really needed it today, huh?” 

“Mhm,” Nodding, you whine, too, closing your eyes as you move. “I need you, I need you, baby.”

“I’m here, kitten.” He coos to you, inhaling another deep breath of smoke. “I’m here.” 

Looking down, you’re met with the beautiful sight of the incredibly chaotic man you’ve chosen to love. He looks so scruffy right now, his hair a big mess and his cheeks littered with short, unruly strands. He looks so good below you, his curvy body moving slightly every time you rut yourself against him. 

You’re going slow, enjoying every moment of it, enjoying the stretch and your gentle sighs. When your head dips back, your lips parting to release a moan, Dieter reaches up to lazily grab your left breast, jiggling it in his hand as he grins. 

“Perfect,” He mumbles over the blunt he’s holding between his lips, still teasing his nipples. 

He rocks back and forth with every one of your gentle thrusts, and he’s so tired that all he can do is smile; he can’t even thrust. Besides, he likes seeing you take the reins like this. He’s surprised by how much you’re willing to do for him.

“Oh, fuck.” Out of seemingly nowhere, you change your pace, slapping your ass down onto his groin. He grunts out, eyebrows furrowing as you bring him a much quicker dose of bliss. 

“Dieter…” You moan, fingernails digging into his chest. 

You’re taking what you want from him, the languid pace you once created floating away like dust in the wind. You’ve wanted to fuck this lazy bastard all day, and you’re going to do it your way. And Dieter couldn’t love it any more than he currently does, he feels like a fucking god right now. Just sitting back, watching this beautiful woman grind on top of him while he gets high. 

He’s giving you little grunts and moans, his mouth hanging open as he breathes heavily. And he just stares at you, eyes flickering back and forth from your face to your tits to your gorgeous cunt as it takes him. His eyebrows furrow in disbelief, finding himself feeling lucky. You treat him so well. You always come home with a smile on your face, never forgetting to give him a kiss and a hug. Every day, you ask about the set, how filming is going, inquiring about how he feels about the script. If you’re not taking care of ordering the food, you’re preparing it, if you’re not making arrangements for your suite to be cleaned, you’re doing it. And by far the most impressive thing you do, is you manage to love him; even through all his shit, through his attitude and addictions. He should really learn to appreciate you more. 

“Baby,” You whimper for him, knowing how much he likes it. Biting down on your lower lip, you wiggle down onto him, feeling him pulse inside. 

“Fuck, you look so good like this.” He says with a breath of amazement. “I love when you’re on top of me.”

“Yeah? Even when you’re too tired to have me?”

“I might be tired, but I’m glad you aren’t.” He grins, that lazy, cocky smirk never ceasing to stir arousal within you. 

“Hm…” It’s a hum, an enticed one. “You like it, daddy? You like when I do this to you?”

“Oh kitten, you know I do. You’re so perfect, doing this for me…” 

Releasing a contented sigh, your head tilts back, and he wishes he could kiss your throat. But there’s no way in hell he can lean up that far right now. Not when he’s high and getting fucked out of his mind. 

Dieter’s eyes fall to the area behind you, zoning in on the reflection of your ass bouncing down against him. You’re such a sexy little thing, your entire body moving over his, always doing your best to please him. Your skin looks so smooth, is so smooth, the dips and curves of your physique was something that caught his eye immediately. Honestly, he can’t help but look at himself, too. Every time you lift yourself, he can see his cock slide almost all the way out of you before you’re plummeting down onto him again, his scrotum bouncing slightly from your forceful movements. The thick meat of his thighs jiggle beneath your own, your hips relentless in their search for his high. 

Eyes rolling back, they finally close, a low and guttural moan coming from his throat. “You’re gonna make me cum.”

“Again?” You couldn’t be happier to hear him say this. You love it when he cums more than once. 

“Again.” Dieter answers you, breath continuing to leave him. His eyes are still closed, his head nodding sluggishly. “Make me cum, please kitten. Please make me cum.”

“Mm… where are you gonna cum, baby? Inside me?”

“No,” You knew he’d answer this way. “Gonna pull out.” 

There was a very specific way Dieter went about cumming when you rode him. It’s not that he didn’t love cumming inside you, he definitely did. Oftentimes, he’d lick it out of you. But when you rode him, he liked to pull out and jerk himself off against your ass. It oozes out of him, spilling over his hand. And right after he’d bring it to his lips so he could taste it. 

“Oh,” He whines, his neck straining and veins protruding. “Fu-uck.”

Smiling down at him, you reach around, your dominant hand finding his scrotum. You cup him gently, fingers fondling the delicate skin as he nears his high. This is when he ruts up into you, the only time he’d done so tonight. His hips move of their own volition, punching up inside your core before his hands fly to wrap around your back, hauling you down to his chest. You squeal quietly as he does it, hands wrapping around his neck. You duck your face down to his shoulder, fingernails and teeth scraping along his throat. And while you’re busy doing this, he reaches down, pushing you further up on his chest so he can pull out of you. Forcefully, his fingers wrap around his shaft, tugging his cock harshly beneath your ass. Every time his fist moves up his knuckles graze the plumpness of your backside, helping to height his orgasm. 

The sticky-whiteness of it washes your skin, wet globs littering your ass and dripping down onto his hand. Since this is the second time he’s cum, there isn’t as much as the first time, but it doesn’t matter, not to either of you. He groans harshly when he feels your pretty lips kissing his tawny skin, your wondrous tongue poking out to lay over his neck. By the way you’re nipping at him, he knows hair and makeup will have to cover the hickeys up in the morning. And you like knowing that. 

“Fuck, fuck,” His hand moves frantically, milking himself of every drop he can give. 

Graceful fingertips pet over the hair scattering those squeezable cheeks, your nose running along the curve of his jaw. His eyes are pinched shut, lips parted as he revels in this. You lift your face just enough to give his cheek a kiss, smiling and humming against him. With his breaths picking up he removes his hand, lifting it to his face. He looks at the whiteness of himself coating every single knuckle, groaning quietly. Dieter then brings his knuckles closer, his tongue poking out to lick it off of his skin. 

“You love doing that, huh baby?” You grin against him, lightly scratching his scruff. 

He doesn’t answer you, he just brings his fingers to your lips. Looking to the side, he watches you take them in, tasting not only the remnants of his orgasm but his spit, too. Slack-jawed and staring, he can’t take his eyes off you. When he takes his fingers out of your mouth you reach up to keep him close, sliding your tongue through the mess of him. 

“I love you,” Comes his airy yet guttural admission. “I fucking love you so much.”

“I love you too, baby.” You’re happy to hear him say it after missing him all day. 

“I’m sorry,” He’s still breathing heavily, trying to calm his breaths. “I don't,” Then he swallows, his clean hand rising to hold the back of your head when you snuggle against him. “I don’t treat you like I should.”

“What do you mean?” You furrow your brows. “You take care of me.”

“More like you take care of me.”

“Okay, I’ll give you that.” You admit with a laugh. “But I know you love me, Dee.” 

“I really hope you do.” Dieter sighs below you, his body firm, steady. “I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you. You’re my person, baby.” 

Lifting your head, you stare down at him. “Baby, why are you so worried?”

“I just don’t want to lose you,” Dieter clears his throat, those warm brown eyes looking up sweetly at you. “And I know I will if I act like an ass.” 

“Well, don’t be an ass.” Shrugging, you playfully grin. “And you won’t lose me.”

But Dieter doesn’t smile, he isn’t joking. 

“I know you get tired baby, and you do deserve to relax. You work hard.” Well, as hard as he can on the set of Cliff Beasts Seven. Honestly, the better description would be he has hard days, long days. Dieter wasn’t necessarily putting his best foot forward to uphold his career. But he didn’t really have to. He did what he wanted, and honestly, people loved him for it. 

“You don’t get sick of me?” He’s feeling insecure about this. He knows he can be a lot. 

“Sure I do, sometimes I get really aggravated with you.” Honesty was always important between the two of you. “But I don’t ever stop loving you baby, and that’s what matters most to me.” 

For a moment, Dieter just looks at you. “I’m gonna marry you one day.” 

“Yeah? Is that a promise?” 

“A big fucking promise.” He nods, pulling you down to kiss you. And you smile into it, happy to be in the relationship that you’re in. You know you have something so many people want, not only a celebrity but a man who’s willing to love you through anything. And Dieter’s more than aware of how lucky he is to have you. Sexy, funny, incredible you.

When you climb off of him, retrieving your shirt and shorts, you get a rag so he can clean up. You bring him a clean pair of boxers and a hoodie of his that you’d found in your shared room, his brown fuzzy jacket now ruined. But he can get it dry cleaned no problem. 

“What do you feel like ordering tonight?” You ask, phone in hand. 

“Pizza?”

“We had pizza last night.” 

“Yeah,” He widens his eyes, rolling them. “Because it’s good.” 

Shaking your head with a cheesy grin on your face, you order your boyfriend what he wants. These were your usual nights, ordering in, cuddling, and turning on a movie. Oftentimes, they were documentaries. Dieter didn’t like movies that much, he sees enough actors on the daily. He knows most of them, too. They’re colleagues to him, not interesting celebrities he looks up to. Tonight, he picks out a documentary about the Amazon, grinning like a little kid when the koalas come on. 

“You want one.” 

“Sure,” You let him light the blunt for you, leaning on him while tugging a blanket over the two of you. 

“You wanna do LSD?” He then asks, glancing down at you. “I got some new ones.”

“You know, for one night I’d like to not trip balls.”

“Yeah okay, fine.” He rolls his eyes dramatically, and it makes you grin. Dieter slouches beside you, leaning on your body and wrapping both arms around you. 

“What time do you need to be on set tomorrow?”

He groans, running a hand over his face. “Eight fucking am.”

“Damn,” He responds with a disgruntled I know. 

Lucky for the two of you, tomorrow is a Friday, and thank fuck he has the weekend off. Maybe he’ll take you out to dinner, maybe even go to a club or two. Those nights are always fun with him. Honestly though, every night spent with Dieter was a fucking blast. If you stayed in, you’d both blare music till the sun comes up, drinking the night away while you sing happily. Those are the nights you’d usually do LSD. Those are also the nights he tells you about his craziest sex fantasies. But if you went out you got the chance to be spotted by the paparazzi, something you honestly both love. What can you say? You’re attention whores. 

“Well, you wanna shower together before bed? I can make you all soapy…” You run a hand down his belly, now full of pizza and pop. “Get you nice and tired so you can sleep like a baby.” 

“I’m already exhausted, but you know I like a challenge.” 

In his own head, he’s already planning out the weekend he’s going to give you. He’s considering booking a short vacation, take some time off and get a breather from set. Maybe he’ll bring you to Venice for a few days, make you cum in as many Italian cities as he can. He knows you’d like that.