#I’ve felt things for them (but especially Memphis) that I’ve never felt before for any fictional male

[kertchu]

[gaiapaia]

Kermit and Friends: Happy Father’s Day

What a special episode this turned out to be!

It was Father’s Day on this edition of Kermit and Friends, and Elisa managed to get her dad Craig to show up for the occasion!

This was actually Craig’s first time ever on the show, including the original run of Kermit and Friends, which had over 300 episodes. He was such a great sport about everything and you could see where Elisa got both her beautiful smile and festive nature from.

Craig is pretty much a lifetime musician/performer. Elisa is named after the Beethoven song Für Elise and Craig has been in many bands, from Beatles cover bands to playing back-up for Elisa and Benjy’s concerts in New York City.

That’s pretty much the extent I know about Mr. Craig. He really seems like an awesome guy though. He wonderfully performed Big Boss Man by Jimmy Reed and Memphis by Chuck Berry. You could sincerely see his talent shine through with these performances, even with the limitations of an Ipad mic. Very impressive, and good taste in music too!

But of course, what everyone really wanted to see was Craig interact with Kermit and Friends guests, and most of all... with Andy Dick.

Before Craig had the opportunity to meet Andy though, he first got to meet Eric Riggs!

Somehow, Craig heard about Eric’s threat to chop Elisa’s head off last week, so he had some preconceived notions about the guy, to say the least. Eric started off the conversation with Craig with both good news and bad news. The good news was that Eric had a meeting with his Rabbi recently, and the bad news is that as long as Andy Dick is involved with Kermit and Friends, the “Jews” will never fund the show. Uh oh!

Eric would pop on and off throughout the rest of the episode with both calls and on-cam appearances from his car (supposedly in Los Angeles). Eric would mostly just rant about Andy and talk about things no one had a clue what he was referring to. From Andy sacrificing kids to Jews being the only good people in the World... Eric was basically Eric I guess. If you’re an Eric fan, he did not let you down yesterday.

But if you thought there was any chance of Eric saving face after Craig heard the rumors of his threats towards Elisa, it was not meant to be. Eric made the absolutely worst first impression anyone could ever make with a young lady’s father. You seriously couldn’t write this stuff.... ONLY on Kermit and Friends could this happen!

That said, Andy Dick did not present himself much better to Craig than Eric did.

First, I have to give props to Andy for even showing up. Andy told Elisa 20 minutes before the show that he was going to take a nap, and over an hour into the show, after countless calls and texts from multiple people to try to wake Andy up, nothing was working. I could see the disappointment in Elisa’s face and it broke my heart. Thankfully though just as Elisa was ready to end the show, Andy popped on and Elisa’s beautiful face lit up.

Like I said, Andy was taking a nap so he was understandably a bit weary. Unfortunately, Andy was also a bit grouchy! He cared very little at first that Craig was Elisa’s father. He started the conversation off with a “This is what you raised?” after Elisa asked Andy to adjust his camera. Yikes!

In typical Andy fashion he would almost immediately make up for it by crying over how special Elisa is. “I like when you cry talking about me Andy, can you do that again?” Elisa would politely ask, and then the criticism started all over again, “This is where she’s a little off kilter.”

This is pure comedic gold that can’t be scripted and only Kermit and Friends fans are able to enjoy it. This show deserves and needs more eyes on it. The World is missing out on so much laughter... makes me bummed but also even more grateful that I’m not missing it!

As mentioned, Craig was a great sport about everything. He never took offense to Eric or Andy; he even would get some funny jokes in towards them (”Eric reminds me of Anthony Perkins from Psycho”). Most importantly, you could tell Craig was having a fun time. He smiled all throughout his appearances and I hope in my heart that he felt proud of Elisa for putting on such an entertaining show that’s enjoyed by so many people.

Craig wasn’t the only star on yesterday’s spectacular show though. Kermit made a new friend named Katha Blackwell, author of the book Not Another Victim: A Woman's Guide to Avoiding a Bad Relationship.

Katha primarily focuses on abusive relationships and helping women get through any trauma they’ve endured from any volatile relationships they were a part of. Katha was raised in a household where she saw her mom abused, and it inspired her to try to help other women going through a similar situation. Thankfully Katha’s mother survived and got out, and Katha has been able to use the experience to help others. Beautiful story.

T-Bob not surprisingly was very smitten with Katha. What was surprising though was how charming and poignant T-Bob was with her, complimenting Katha and sharing a story of himself trying to stop an abusive relationship he saw taking place. I would love to see T-Bob show up on Kermit and Friends sober more often, especially since it also helps with his internet connection!

Sigmond and Wappy returned to perform some songs. Wappy did a beautiful rendition of Old Man by Neil Young where Sigmond would only chime in during the chorus. Wappy would later sing Get Out by Sublime and poor Sigmond wasn’t able to contribute anything in that performance! People were very curious what Sigmond actually does in the band. Well, I’ve linked their Soundcloud before where you can actually hear Sigmond read off material he wrote.... I’ll link it again here. Hopefully next week they will perform one of these songs where Sigmond is actually able to participate!

A funny note about Sigmond too yesterday was that he originally wore a plaid shirt that matched the blanket Wappy had hanging up on his wall, which made Sigmond blend in with it. Elisa asked him to change shirts and Sigmond would go on to do so TWICE. It might not sound funny written but visually if you go check it out, it’s hilarious!

Elisa shared a story about how she met the rapper G-Eazy the other night. I’m not going to lie... if it wasn’t for Elisa’s tweets, I most likely would have never heard of this guy, but I know Elisa has a big crush on him and I was happy to hear G-Eazy treated her nicely when they met. Anyone who treats Elisa with kindness is cool in my book! Consider me a fan now, G-Eazy. 

Gonzo made a lot of good calls yesterday. After Craig told some wholesome dad jokes, Gonzo chimed in with his own, “Who’s most likely to have a dead woman buried in his backyard? Sigmond.” Not a nice joke! Gonzo would later change the answer to Eric. Still not nice!

Gonzo’s hero Johnny B would perform Cats in the Cradle by Harry Chaplin twice on the show. The first time was when Andy came on, so the show continued rather than ended as scheduled, and the second time was interrupted by Eric’s incessant rambling, which did not make Johnny B happy!

What a Father’s Day. It was the perfect show, one that will never be forgotten. The first 75 minutes were very sweet and wholesome, and the next 75 minutes were just out of this World comedy where everyone was having the time of their lives. Like I said in last week’s review, when Elisa has fun... we all have fun, and she had a blast yesterday once Andy appeared. It was an all around glorious time, and I can’t wait for next week’s birthday show. Until then... I hope everyone reading this and their dads all had a wonderful Father’s Day. God bless you all. ❤️

[poptod]

Arcadian (Ahkmenrah x Reader)

Description: Ahk gets some time away from the busy life of a prince, and meets you by chance at the riverside.

Notes: People who read my AO3 stories know I do this, but I shorten Ahkmenrah’s name to Ahkmen, for historical reasons, as well as change (Y/N) to something more historically accurate :) also this one is Gender Neutral!

No AO3 link, another Tumblr Special I guess

Words: 2.1k

Generally speaking, he’s not technically allowed to leave the palace, but there’s not exactly a rule in place keeping him there, either. It’s definitely telling when his heart races as guards turn the corner and he hides - that tells him he’s not doing the right thing. Not that he knows what the right thing is. All he knows is that his life is suffocating, what with his parents constant observation of him and his brothers’ hatred towards him. Besides that it’s apparent that he’s going to become Pharaoh, which he hadn’t expected at any time in his life, and it’s not something he’s at all prepared for. So midnight of the day he publicly breaks down in front of his parents, his parents advisors, and his brother, he sneaks out his window and runs off into the desert.

It doesn’t take long before the reality of how bad of an idea this is hits him - the nile beside him runs slow, the water murky and unable to reflect the stars. He feels just as muddled as the water, and he crouches down beside it, heart heavy and thoughts full.

“You alright?” Comes a smooth voice from above him, startling him out of his kneeling position. He falls to the ground and looks up to find you - dressed in an unfamiliar fashion, a stranger who’s asking after his wellbeing.

“Um…” he can’t think of what to say, too unsure of who he is in your mind. “Yes. I just… was relaxing.”

“Ah,” you say with a nod, and you smile understanding at him. He lets out a sigh of relief and you kneel beside him, gathering water from the nile in the basket you hold in your arms. “So what’s your name?”

“Ahk -“ he almost says his full name - “Just Ahk.”

“Nice. I’m Ife. Nice to meet you,” you say with another smile, brighter than he imagines he’s ever smiled. “What brings you here?”

“I, uh… I don’t really know,” he mumbles with a shrug, shifting into a more comfortable sitting position. “I’ve just been really stressed. Had to get away.”

“That’s understandable. This is a nice place to unwind,” you say, grunting as you dump out the muddy water.

“Yeah.. um, what are you doing, exactly?”

“I wanted to capture a fish as a pet.”

“A what?”

“A fish pet. Father wouldn’t help me, so I thought I could do it by myself, but…” you glance out over the long stretch of the Nile, sighing forlorn. “I think I’ll just play with one for a while then release it. Sounds more humane.”

He shrugs, and you wade out into deeper waters, and place the basket between your legs, the slow water drifting into the basket. Making himself comfortable he watches you, chuckling softly when you swear quietly to yourself. Eventually you move deeper, till the water nearly comes up to your waist, which worries Ahkmen - you’re not exactly a very tall or strong-looking person. With a huff he stands, shirking his more expensive clothing and wading out into the water to meet you.

You don’t note his appearance with any sound or movement, so he stands behind you, making sure you don’t drift away, and he keeps an eye out for any predators. When you raise your basket one final time, a small fish the size of his pinkie finger is inside it, and you gasp delightedly, a brilliant smile shines on your face. Careful to balance the basket he helps you back, holding a firm grip on your upper arm in case you slip on anything.

At the edge of the shore, your bare feet dipped into the warm water, the basket sits between the two of you, and a very confused fish flitters back and forth.

“Do you live far from here?” He asks you after a moment of silence, and your stare at the fish breaks as you glance up at him.

“I live down the nile. It’s not too far if you want to visit?” You suggest quietly, examining him for any sign of either declining or accepting your offer. A soft blush creeps up his neck and into his cheeks as he looks nervously to the side - would your family recognize him?

“Uh, I don’t know, I… I wouldn’t want to intrude,” is what he comes up with, fiddling anxiously with his fingers. You shrug, looking down at the fish and swirling your finger in the water.

“It’s not a problem. I’m sure everyone’s still asleep anyway,” you say, your attention never drifting from a fish he considers to be quite plain, but maybe there’s something he can’t see that’s caught your interest. He looks down, and nope - still looks like a small, grey fish, not even reflective.

“I need to be back in Memphis by sunrise, at the latest,” he tells you, his shoulders tightening.

“Memphis? I’ve been there. Beautiful place,” you mumble distantly as the fish rubs up against your finger by accident. When the fish adamantly ignores you for a minute, you turn back to him, smiling sweetly. “I can make sure you’re back there if you’d like. Might be a nice break from your responsibilities.”

He can’t help but agree - a tense sigh leaves him and with another breath he relaxes. You ruffle his hair (no one’s ever done that before, and it shocks him that he likes it) and dump the water and the fish back into the nile. Standing, you help him to his feet and, tucking your basket underneath your arm, you lead the way to your village.

Your previous prediction turned out to be correct; no one was awake. The dying embers of a fire burn dim in the bonfire, and you sit down in front of it, Ahk at your side. You toss the basket behind you, scoot closer to your new friend, and lean against his shoulder. For a second he tenses, looking down at you, then forces himself to relax - for some unknown reason, he feels more special in this moment than he ever has before.

“You’re very nice, you know. You should be more careful with strangers,” he notes, wishing as soon as the words are out that he hadn’t said anything at all.

“I’m perfectly careful. I know how to defend myself, Ahk,” you giggle, leaning closer into his warmth despite the fact that it’s not an especially cold night. Sighing, he rests his cheek on the top of your head, staring up at the stars that glimmer in the dark swath of night.

You hum to yourself a melody he’s never heard, your voice barely there, fading in and out of existence in your tired state.

“What’s being a prince like?” You mumble, fumbling till you’re even closer to him, wrapping your arms to hug his left arm. He freezes - that definitely wasn’t information he gave you.

“How’d you know I’m -“

“Clothes,” you answer before he finishes.

“Oh. Um, well… it’s a lot. Has its’ challenges, all very different from your life, I suppose,” he sums up, hoping he doesn’t offend you. He knows how lucky he is, and he knows that life for you is most likely harder than his own, even though you’re not responsible for a thousand people like he is.

“Good food?” You ask, your blinking slowing to a snail’s pace.

“Yeah,” he chuckles. “Good food.”

As the night progresses he finds himself reluctant to wake you, fast asleep on his shoulder, and even more reluctant to leave your haven. There’s a peace radiating through your village that he’s never felt before, a life far simpler and happier than his own, though the labor needed to stay alive he knows is grueling. Still, he stays there, by your side, and when he feels his own eyes grow heavy with exhaustion he lays the both of you down on the soft ground, his arm wrapped around you. You mumble incoherently in your sleep, scoot closer to him, and wrap your own arm round his waist. Distantly, he smiles to himself, and falls asleep.

Morning comes, and there’s a very large man above him, kicking him awake. Startled he jumps up, ready to apologize profusely before he sees you standing beside the man, a sleepy smile still apparent.

“Come on, let’s get you home,” you say, and wordlessly (and still blushing) he agrees, letting you lead the way.

It’s a somewhat cooler morning, and the water seems to be clearer than it was the night before. Birds fly about, singing cheerful songs along the banks of the nile. Soft wind blows through the trees, and you stop him by a date tree, climbing up it like you’ve done it a million times before, which he reckons you have.

“Breakfast,” you announce with a giggle, hanging upside down from the upper vestiges of the tree, shaking it so the fruit falls to the ground. Laughing at your antics he catches a few, quickly throwing them away when you release yourself from the tree. Just in time he catches you in his arms, and in thanks you peck his cheek, lighting a brilliant blush on them.

“By the way,” you begin once you’ve both eaten, “I’m sorry I broke my promise.”

“What do you mean?”

“I told you I’d get you back to Memphis by sunrise. It’s far past that,” you say, looking up to the sun which lies a thumbs width above from the distant mountains. His father will most likely be angry with him and he knows this, but he just shrugs - no need to worry you and himself by extension.

“It’s alright. Nothing bad’ll happen, just my parents might be a little worried. They know I can handle myself though,” he tells you, and with a sigh, you nod, and release your anxieties.

“You’re welcome back at my home anytime you’d like, I don’t think my father dislikes you, which is saying something. He’s a little hard to please. I… I hope we can be friends,” you add at the end, quiet and more timid than he’s ever heard you.

“I hope so too,” he admits softly, and the two of you continue your walk in silence.

Eventually you find the discarded golden robes from last nights’ wade, and he quickly brushes them off, putting everything but the cape back on. Instead he wraps it around your shoulders, smiling bright when you blush at the gesture.

“Looks better on you,” he says, fluffing out the cape so it spreads like golden wings behind you.

“Belongs to you,” you chide with a quiet laugh, but you keep the cape on - it can’t hurt, you reason, for just a little longer. The material is the softest you’ve ever felt, an obvious relic of a royal. It’s light but warm, and you can’t help but giggle a little when you wrap yourself up in it.

He blushes sweetly at the image of you, wishing he could see you every day, and disheartened at the knowledge he can’t ever have you - not in any way that matters. But for the rest of the walk he ignores that little voice in his head, fidgeting with the gold bracelets on his wrists as he watches every idiosyncrasy of you.

At the gates of the city he reluctantly lets you leave him there, the golden cape back on his own shoulders. He stands there, feeling more lonely than ever till you vanish in the brush of the nile. An unexplainable urge courses through him, alighting every sense in him, and he runs after you - one more thing he has to do.

It’s not long before he catches up; you don’t walk very fast. He grabs your arm from behind and you jump, relaxing when you see it’s him.

“What’s wrong?” You ask, tilting your head curiously to the side. His heart melts at the sight and without second thought, he kisses the sweetest memory into you, moving innocently against your lips until you part with a shocked gasp.

“I… sorry, I -“

You move your hand up into his hair, weaving your fingers into it before you push him back down towards you, interrupting his speech with a kiss softer and impossibly more loving than his own. This time when you part it’s much more gentle, less of a shock, and much more human.

“I suppose I’ll see you again?” He asks, and the desperation in his voice is embarrassingly clear.

“Of course,” you answer with a wonderfully familiar smile.

[dylansfm]

       〔 ZOEY DEUTCH, 22, CISFEMALE, ODIKINESIS 〕╰  _DYLAN O’SHEA _ just  came  over  half - blood  hill .  you  know ,  the  child  of  ARES  who  was  claimed  3 years ago ?  i've  heard  chiron  say  that  pronoun  is  COURAGEOUS & INDEPENDENT ,  but  if  you  ask  the  aphrodite  kids ,  they'd  say  they're  COMBATIVE & SPITEFUL .  i'd  say  they  remind  me  of drinking whiskey, broken glass, the glow of a flame, bruised knees, split lips & basking in the feeling of victory, especially  since  they're  AGAINST THE NEW CABINS.  (  ✎  tobi ,  20 ,  she/her ,  mst .  )

hello everyone ! i’m tobi, 20 years old, and this intro post is really late but here it is ! i haven’t rp’ed in forever so i’m probably going to be a bit rusty, but i’m excited. you can find some quick wanted connections at the bottom of this. i’ll reblog some wc gifsets and try to write up a proper post later. if you want to plot, like this post and i’ll message you, or you can get me on discord logan lerman's side bitch#7115 !

name:     dylan alexandra o’shea  

nicknames:    her mom calls her dyl pickle, call her that if you dare

birth date:    january 2nd   

gender:    cis female

pronouns:    she/her

ethnicity:    kinda obvious i think

nationality:    american

hometown:    memphis, tennessee 

demigod abilities:    odikinesis –– the ability to arouse feelings of anger, hatred and bloodlust in others

cabin number & godly parent: cabin five, ares

edie o’shea is your average southern belle. little rich girl, ex-beauty queen, ex-cheerleader, known around the neighbourhood for her beauty and being the definition of southern hospitality. but when she was 18, she went through her rebellious, punk, 90s grunge phase ( or at least, as grungy as you can get in the deep south ). and it was during this phase that she had her fateful encounter with ares. they met at a bar –– or was it a club ? concert ? she can’t even remember anymore –– and he introduced himself, didn’t even bother to hide his name. edie assumed it was a nickname or a joke. 

they had a brief, intense, torrid love affair for a few months before edie became pregnant. ares gave a quick explanation of his situation ( edie was so infuriated nothing he said even registered ) and he split, leaving edie with dylan as a goodbye gift. edie quickly went back home, got back into her parents’ good graces, and tried to forget ares and get her life back together for her little girl. 

dylan’s grandparents are similar to emily and richard gilmore from gilmore girls –– they’re snobby, controlling, and a bit too invested in their granddaughter’s raising. dylan loves them both, but her complete lack of care towards social status and reputation is a constant battle. 

dylan o’shea is very much the opposite of your average southern belle. seemed to have inherited both her mother and father’s wild ways, going against all of her mother’s attempts to tame her. she’s aggressive, coarse, and tactless. she’s attended and been expelled from damn near every school in the city, gotten into more fights than she can count, been arrested enough times that she knows quite a few officers by name. she’s been uncontrollable from day one, a hurricane that constantly leaves destruction in her wake.

her mother never intended to send dylan to camp half blood, she thought dylan was bound to get herself killed if she was left by herself. but dylan’s demigod ability, odikinesis, began to manifest when she turned 14. she had always had a penchant for getting into trouble, but it seemed like she was constantly being provoked into fights. her family never believed her when she said that she wasn’t doing anything, that people always came at her. they figured it was her nature, per the course as a child of the god of war.

the day things went to utter shit –– she doesn’t remember much of what happened now. it was over something stupid, a guy saying a stupid, shitty comment that shouldn’t have made her as angry as it did. next thing she remembers she’s face down on the ground, held down by 3 police officers and thrashing around like a wild animal. she’s told she beat him near to death ( or maybe –– ? she never asked, never really wanted to know ) and she lands in juvie. it was run down, under supervised and overcrowded, and her powers only grew stronger with time. a year of fighting ( both inmates and guards ), getting sent to isolation, and doing it over and over again finally broke her. abruptly, the fights stopped, and like a switch, instead of constant anger, she felt nothing at all.

her mother saw her state and knew both that something was wrong, and that she wasn’t the one who would be able to fix it. for the first time, she swallowed her pride and prayed to ares to guidance, help, anything. dylan was released soon after, something about early release for good behaviour ( ha ! ) and she immediately goes on the long drive to camp half blood. only when they get there does she learn that she was being haunted by a ker ( female spirits who personify violent death ), which was drawn to her ability and underlying power. she arrived at chb when she was 15, and has been there ever since.

some quick facts about dylan !

she has a thick southern accent and possibly the smoothest voice you’ve ever heard –– expect more than a few y’all’s here and there, though i’ll try not to be too obnoxious

she likes using nicknames –– lamb, pumpkin, june bug, the works –– just to be condescending

she’s quick to insult and even quicker to anger, but not necessarily unfriendly. she genuinely doesn’t mean any harm –– most of the time

she has a awful temper. as in, had-to-take-anger-management-classes awful. it genuinely takes a toll on her and she constantly struggles to keep her rage in check. she’s had enough years of learning that on a good day, she’s fine. on a bad day –– whew.

her inspirations incl: jessica jones ( jessica jones ), katarina stratford ( 10 things i hate about you ), reyna avila ramirez-arellano ( the heroes of olympus ), clarisse la rue ( percy jackson & the olympians )

despite how she comes across at first ( idiot jock ) she’s generally very intelligent. she especially likes history

she’s very flighty, her mind never stays on one thing and she’s constantly doing, forgetting about that, starting that, dropping that and –– you get the point. talking to her can be a bit daunting because she’s constantly changing the subject on you

the only time she’s really focused is when she mid-battle, on a quest, or thinking about strategy ( she’s a bit of a stereotype, she already knows )

from her time in juvie she’s learned quite a few –– skills. how to pick a lock and how to sneak contraband being the most relevant ( less relevant: how to turn a battery into a lighter & make booze using just bread, sugar, and fruit juice ). she’s managed to get some contacts whenever she’s permitted to leave camp for a quest, so she always has a decent supply ( weed only, she used to run with bad crowds, seen the damage the other stuff can do )

after her experience with the ker, she’s has a genuinely, almost debilitating fear of spirits and hauntings specifically. it’s a trait about herself that pisses her off to no end, and she’d die before letting anyone find out about it. 

& now for the ·。ﾟ𝔀𝓪𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓷𝓮𝓬𝓽𝓲𝓸𝓷𝓼 ! as i said above, i’ll write a proper post when i’m a little less tired

platonic

rivals –– friend version ! dylan is quite possibly the most competitive person on earth, it’s in her genetics. she thinks of everything as a competition and she always has to win. however, a victory is only sweet when it’s against a true adversary. she spends a lot of time with this person and she’s convinced herself that it’s so that she can eventually prove she’s their superior, but she actually just likes being around them.

           ( bonus points –– sparring partners no rules sorta deal, out in the woods, scratches                from twigs, bloodied rocks, anything to let some of her aggression out )

opposites attract –– this person is different from her in almost every way ( grumpy, combative, wild vs friendly, sweet, caring, etc ) and by all accounts should provoke her ire and contempt. yet somehow, she instead genuinely care about this person and their wellbeing ( and it makes her sick to her stomach ).

romantic

crush –– oh it’s just so pathetic. dylan prides herself on being untouchable, with a dark black hole where her heart should be. however, this person is a very unwanted reminder that she is, in fact, a real person with emotions and feels and ugh. she’s carried a torch for this person from the day she met them, and she’s been unable to rid herself of these feelings despite her best attempts. this person definitely doesn’t know ( she tries to convince herself of this ) and she plans to ignore the nervousness, unconscious smiles and, ugh, butterflies until the day she –– dies, i guess.

antagonistic

rivals –– enemy version ! dylan is probably the most competitive person on earth, which also makes her one of the sorest losers you’ll ever meet. she hates losing, and she finds it difficult to keep that sentiment to herself. for whatever reason dylan doesn’t respect this person, and therefore can’t handle losing to them as graciously as she might otherwise. despite her temper she’s usually not the type to hold a grudge ( more the fight and forgive type ) but her hatred of this person is a giant mental block.

[necrmnce]

〔 DANIELLE ROSE RUSSELL, 20, CIS FEMALE, NECROMANCY 〕╰  BROOKLYN FORDE  just  came  over  half - blood  hill .  you  know ,  the  child  of  HECATE  who  was  claimed four years  ago ?  i've  heard  chiron  say  that  she  is  CONFIDENT & PERCEPTIVE ,  but  if  you  ask  the  aphrodite  kids ,  they'd  say  they're  BLUNT & CATTY .  i'd  say  they  remind  me  of  ripped jeans, collapsing into your bed after a long day, hanging polaroids along the wall, and staying up to watch the sunrise,  especially  since  they're  NEUTRAL .  (  ✎  adri ,  20 ,  she/her ,  cst .  )

do  i  feel  like  being  alone  or  with  all  of  my  friends ?  fuck ,  i  don't  know  if  I  should  stay   or  if  I should go 

NAME — brooklyn  andrea  forde.

NICKNAMES —  brook , b .

PRONOUNS — she / her.

AGE & DOB — 20  &  august 11th , 1999.

PLACE OF BIRTH — norfolk ,  virginia .

NATIONALITY — american.

GODLY PARENT —  hecate .

ABILITIES — necromancy ,  mist manipulation , spell casting .

* background overview !

her  father ,  mitchell  forde ,  is  a  chef  in  norfolk ,  virginia .  his  dad  is  from  memphis ,  tennessee  and  his  mom  is  from  new  orleans ,  louisiana .  growing  up  was  just  her  and  her  father  though ,  but  that  was  all  they  really  needed . 

nine  times  out  of  ten  she  would  be  with  her  dad  at  his  restaurant .  at  first  she  would  be  perched  in  a  booth  at  the  back ,  coloring  or  handing  other  waitstaff  the  silverware  they  were  wrapping ,  but  eventually  moved  up  to  sitting  at  the  counter  and  sometimes  helping  with  drink  orders .  the  time  she  spent  with  her  dad  in  between  stays  at  camp  half - blood ,  she’d  make  herself  useful  and  wait  tables  or  help  in  the  kitchen ,  which  she  actually  enjoyed  doing  as  long  as  she  was  with  her  dad . 

some  of  her  favorite  memories  are  the  days  they’d  have  off  from  the  restaurant  and  he’d  take  them  down  to  virginia  beach .  they’d  spend  the  entire  day  there  and  if  she  timed  it  just  right ,  he’d  tell  her  stories  about  her  mom  as  the  moon  met  the  waters  horizon .

she’s  been  in  several  schools  between  norfolk ,  chesapeake ,  and  virginia  beach ,  somehow  finding  ways  to  get  expelled  or  suspended  like  breaking  a  sink  and  blasting  the  library  with  water  or  severely  denting  the  lockers  with  someone  she  pushed . 

she  always  felt  like  something  about  her  was  different ,  like  being  able  to  heal  butterflies  because  she  was  so  distraught  by  them  being  hurt ,  or  bringing  flowers  back  from  the  brink  of  death  by  talking  to  them .  she  never  told  her  dad  about  these  things ,  afraid  he’d  make  it  seem  like  it  was  just  all  made  up  in  her  head ,  but  when  she  was  eleven ,  she  could  apparently  see the  ghost  of  someone  who  wasn’t  actually there ,  he  decided  to  take  her  to  camp  half - blood . 

she  actually  took  the  transition  really  well ,  except  for  the  fact  that  she  hadn’t  been  claimed ,  which  put  her  in  a  position  where  she  still  didn’t  know  what  any  of  her  powers  and  abilities  meant  or  actually  were  despite  speculation . 

that  being  said ...  she  went  on  a  quest  when  she  was  about  fifteen ,  and  one  of  the  members  didn’t  make  it  back .  she’s  carried  that  guilt  with  her  ever  since  then ,  developing  a  bit  of  a  hero  complex  where  she  feels  the  need  to  protect  everyone  so  it  never  happens  again .

she  was  claimed  on  her  sixteenth  birthday  when  she  essentially broke  the  big  house  and  she  assumes  that  was  finally  enough  for  hecate  to  claim  her .  she  couldn’t  stay  mad  for  long ,  considering  she  was  actually  given  a  gift  from  her  mom  and  could  finally  learn  how  to  use  her  powers .

fought  on  the  side  of  the  gods  during  the  battle  of  manhattan ,  is  pretty  salty  that  others  joined  the  titans ,  especially  if  they  harmed  other  demigods . 

* personality !

okay  so ,,, ana  called  her  “ chaotic  baby ,  but  still  baby ”  and  that’s  the  best  description  of  her  ever .

back  home ,  she  was  raised  to  be  a  good  person ,  she  had  a  really  loving  home  that  she’s  thankful  for .  her  biggest  desire  is  just  to  make  her  dad  proud ,  so  she’s  not  really  sure  what  she  wants  to  do  as  an  end  game .

for  years  she  was  the  one  of  the  most  helpful  campers ,  making  sure  that  every  person  knew  at  least  one  smiling  face  around  camp .  she  put  effort  into  almost  everything ,  absolutely  loving  it  because  she  finally  felt  like  she  belonged .  

after  her  quest  with  andromeda  presley ,  that  completely  changed .  she  withdrew  from  nearly  everyone  that  would  let  her ,  spending  even  more  of  her  time  training  and  trying  to  figure  out  what  the  hell  she  could  do ,  even  going  to  the  athena  kids  to  see  if  they  had  any  ideas . 

she  really  shut  everyone  out ,  and  wasn’t  afraid  to  step  on  toes  to  do  it .  the  blame  she  put  on  herself  causing  her  to  constantly  carry  that  weight  and  shorten  her  temper .  it  took  way  less  to  get  her  to  snap  than  it  ever  did  before . 

despite  this ,  brooklyn  will  crack  if  you  really  try .  she  loves  the  people  that  have  stuck  by  her  side  endlessly  and  would  do  anything  for  them .  if  you  somehow  manage  to  get  this  far ,  it’s  like  nothing  ever  happened . 

* headcanons !

so  i  know  for  a  fact  that  her  favorite  song  is  golden  by  harry  styles 

but  she’s  usually  listening  to  fall  out  boy  or  missio  if  she’s  training  ,  she  listens  to  softer  stuff  when  she’s  alone  in  her  room . 

she  doesn’t  like  mentioning  she  has  necromancy  to  most  people ,  because  she  is  not  down  to  be  someone’s  messenger  to  lost  loved  ones . 

she  never  slept  where  she  was  supposed  to  when  she  was  still  in  her  hermes  cabin .  she’d  grab  her  blanket  and  pillow  and  go  out  to  fireworks  beach ,  or  find  a  spot  on  some  cabins  roof  that  had  a view  of  the  sunrise ,  or  sneak  into  the  big  house  to  sleep  on  the  couches  there .  

if  you  come  up  to  her  nicely ,  she’ll  pretty  much  do  anything  you  ask  her .  is  BIG  on  matching  someone’s  energy . 

always  has  on  some  kind  of  heel  because  she  doesn’t  enjoy  having  to  look  up  at  people  all  the  time .  

* aesthetics !

ripped  jeans ,  collapsing  into  your  bed  after  a  long  day ,  hanging  polaroids  along  the  wall ,  and  staying  up  to  watch  the  sunrise ,  candle  lights ,  chocolate  milkshakes ,  high - waisted  jeans ,  standing  on  the  beach  in  the  middle  of  the  night ,  old  leather  jackets ,  journals  filled  with  scratched  out  and  scribbled  sentences ,  restless  nights ,  plants  sitting  on  a  windowsill ,  the  smell  of  rain  in  the  air ,  old  fashioned  rings .

* wanted plots !

i’m the worst at coming up with things but,,,,, here’s a few

general  friends :  some  she’s  managed  to  keep  or  even  make  in  the  last  five  years  or  so .

best  friends :  someone  that’s  been  by  her  side  for  years ,  someone  she’d  literally  trust  with  her  whole  life .

ride  or  dies / other  quest  partners :  honestly  what  it  says ,  maybe  like  two  or  three  of  them  that  have  been  through  the  thick  and  thin  of  it  but  still  have  a  really  strong  friendship  in  the  end ?

confidant :  honestly ,  probably  someone  she’s  close  with ,  but  doesn’t  see  on  a  regular  basis ?  maybe  they  just  train  together  from  time  to  time  to  blow  off  steam ? 

exes  ( good ,  bad ,  anything  in  between ) :  you  know  the  drill ,  hit  me  with  the  good  angst . ( male ,  female ,  nb )

hook  ups :  you  also  know  this  drill ,  sometimes  you  gotta  blow  off  steam .  ( male ,  female ,  nb )

i have another idea based off this song ! but  we  can  discuss  it  more  in  detail  if  you’re  interested .

[tshepiso-reads-books]

Prepare For a Rant | Lair of Dreams by Libba Bray

Started: February 10th, 2020

Finished: February 14th, 2020

I have a lot of thoughts about Lair of Dreams [Goodreads] and most of them are negative. It took me what felt like several lightyears to finish this book and the reading experience sapped the joy of reading out of me for a while. This is going to be a long one folks, so buckle in. Before we jump into things I’d like to warn that this is going to be a spoilerific review so heed my warning before you jump in.

Lair of Dreams takes place shortly after the events of the first book in this series The Diviners. The city is on the cusp of an all-out outbreak as more and more cases of Sleeping Sickness, a mysterious illness that causes the afflicted to fall asleep and never wake up again, are cropping up in Chinatown. While the gang goes on wildly different adventures in this book they all ultimately come together to solve the mystery of the sleeping sickness.

On Character

My biggest problem with this book is the characters. They’re selfish, self-centered, naïve and don’t understand that actions hurt others. This is most evident in Evie, but every character in the book has moments of this scattered throughout the novel. However,  I feel uncomfortable throwing this fact as a criticism of the book because all of these characteristics are fundamental character traits of teenagers and I find it obtuse to criticize a young adult novel for accurately writing teenaged protagonists. But I can’t divorce this understanding from how absolutely infuriating I found so many moments in this book.

I will say just because our protagonists, and especially Evie, were annoying doesn’t mean they didn’t have depth. Libba Bray is a good writer and fully fleshed out every character in this book mellowing some of my frustrations with them. The perfect example of this is Sam Lloyd. The bad boy character archetype has been done to death in YA, but Sam stands apart from the crowd of tousled haired edge-lords by having a tragic backstory with legitimate weight to it. His search for his mother never felt like an afterthought or quirk. I genuinely felt his deep desire to find the truth and it made him well rounded. The same could be said about all the other characters in the story.

Evie was the only character I truly hated while reading this book. I understand the reason why Evie is the way she is and how her past influenced her bad behavior. But understanding that her PTSD and trauma are the cause of her actions was never enough to get me to sympathize with her. Every single character in this book has been through just as much if not more than she has and they never went as far as to abandon and betray their friends as consistently as Evie did. I could never get behind Evie, her selfishness went above and beyond teenaged immaturity and her inability to own up to her mistakes and change angered me.

Now on to Jericho Jones, my second least favorite character in this book. I genuinely liked Jericho in The Diviners, but his behavior in this book was appalling. I will admit he had the misfortune of falling into one of my least favorite tropes out there: “The Monster Inside Me“ [TV Tropes]. However, his particular brand of self-loathing went further than that. At the end of The Diviners Jericho was rejected by Evie causing a cycle of self-pity that verged on incel behavior. His constant monologuing about how “girls just don’t like guys him” was eye-roll inducing and his hurry to lash out at others because a girl he liked rejected him was gross. His actions depict a man who sees Evie as a prize rather than a human being.

Another problem I had with this book is how central protagonists from The Diviners were sidelined in the novel. It’s almost impossible in a reasonably sized book to follow eight different characters and give them all their due. The characters I feel most negatively effected by Bray’s shift in focus to new POVs were Memphis, Theta and Mabel. It would take over 500 more words to deep dive into my specific thoughts on each of their character arcs so in summation: these three were barely given anything to do and their character arcs didn’t move forward in any significant way. Mabel was given the harshest treatment of all because she had literally nothing to do in this book but pine after a guy who didn’t like her. No other character conflict she had from the previous book in this series was even mentioned or explored.

On Romance

Possibly my least favorite element in this book was its romantic subplot. So much page time was dedicated to it that it could reasonably be dubbed the main plot So here’s the rundown:

Mabel likes Jericho, but Jericho likes Evie.

Evie thinks she likes Jericho but doesn’t want to date him because of girl code.

Evie fake dates Sam and they both start catching feelings.

Jericho goes out with Mabel even though he knows that Mabel likes him and he still has feelings for Evie.

This is the kind of conflict I hate in books. This love triangle was so convoluted and contrived. It did nothing but make me hate Evie and Jericho, and I found none of the romantic tension exciting because the dynamics explored were built on a foundation of miscommunication and lies of omission.

On Representation

While I was pleasantly surprised by the anti-racism in The Diviners I was uncomfortable by the way some of the themes of diversity were explored in this book. In Lair of Dreams, we are introduced to Ling Chang a half Chinese girl with a recent case of infantile paralysis causing her to wear leg braces. She has a lot of self-hatred in regard to her disability. This trope while cliche wasn’t my problem, my problem was how this internal conflict is resolved. Another one of our protagonists, Henry, finds out about her disability and all her self loathing is resolved by him telling her she should love herself. This interaction is that it places Ling’s self-worth in the hands of an able-bodied person rather than focusing this her arc on self-acceptance. As an able-bodied person, I don’t want to cry ableism without shouting out actual disabled people’s voices on the matter so I would highly encourage you to seek out these voices. I’ve yet to encounter an ownvoices reviewer’s thought on Ling’s arc (believe me I looked) and this observation should in no way take away anything from disabled people who appreciated Bray’s writing.

There is so much that Bray does right when it comes to diversity and representation. I find her honest depictions of America’s ugly history timely and relevant and I admire her willingness to starkly show anti-semitism, homophobia, xenophobia, police brutality of the time. She clearly parallels America’s history with America’s present reminding you not so subtly that these toxic ideas still exist. I will warn readers that Bray graphically depicts racist imagery and I found the descriptive scenes of lynch mobs and the like very upsetting so be prepared for that.

One aspect of Bray’s depiction of American society I really liked was her pointed observation of the link between Evangelical Christianity and racism and xenophobia. I also liked how she depicted the ways people use American Exceptionalism (the idea that Americans are inherently superior to all others and that their position as a dominant world power is a God-given right rather than luck and historic subjugation) as a justification for bigotry and all detractors of this ideology is consistently labeled as anti-American by the people who benefit from bigotry.

On Everything Else

I will say Lair of Dreams was fairly well-plotted. Though the mystery element of this book very much felt like a subplot with the character conflicts taking center stage. While I didn’t find the sleeping sickness as outright terrifying as Naughty John in the first book Bray is good at building tension and suspense and the final climactic scene did get my heart racing. Bray’s ability to capture a creepy gothic atmosphere shines in this book and I loved her interlude chapters that showed brief snippets of our characters and the city itself.

Stars 🌟🌟🌟

I don’t know where I stand with this series. I found so much of the reading experience frustrating, but I am still invested in so many of the characters in the series and I would like to see how the final mystery unfolds. We’ll see if I continue on with the series because right now I don’t know.

[blooming-inthedark]

the summer fling.

Marco.

When I was a teenager, I had low self-esteem. I didn’t feel that I was pretty because nobody ever told me I was. Once I started getting attention from boys, they always happened to be ones that I found unattractive. I assumed that if only ugly guys liked me, it must’ve meant that I was ugly too. All the fine guys that the other girls would fawn over would never look in my direction. Then one day, a fine guy did look at me. And this was the attention I thought I wanted until I later learned that it wasn’t.

After my first year of high school, my mom enrolled me into a performing arts summer camp that offered drama, dance, music, visual and martial arts. I was enamored with being in the drama program at my high school, so being able to do the same things in the summer time was really good for me. Enter Marco. Marco was tall, light-skinned, super attractive, and had zero interest in any of the performing arts offered at camp. He was an athlete – he played basketball at school, and almost always wore LA Lakers gear to camp to show that he was all about the NBA. In all of the classes, Marco either struggled to grasp the concept, or spent the whole time cracking jokes and causing fun distractions for everyone else. Classic, knuckle-headed boy who probably meant well but just wasn’t stimulated by the things placed in front of him.

Camp was generally split by age groups, and Marco and I were amongst the oldest: ages 12-16. He was one year younger than me, so I had this false sense of seniority over him. I would often shake my head and roll my eyes at his immaturity, but couldn’t help crushing otherwise. Yes, he probably didn’t value camp like I did, but he was hella cute and somehow found me intriguing too. Marco had the tendency to flirt with me, and the one other girl who was our age, Paris, and somehow we were both okay with going back and forth with establishing finicky, playful romances with him. One week he would be holding my hand and sitting by me in every class. The next week, he would be horsing around with Paris in the hallways and following behind her. Obviously it was nothing serious, just kids being kids, and when he moved to Las Vegas and left camp, I didn’t expect to see him anymore.

Then, I turned 21 and wanted to plan a birthday trip to Vegas with my mom and sister. Marco and I had become friends on facebook by then, and I messaged him to playfully suggest that we should link so he could buy me an ice cream cone while I was there. He agreed, but I was so excited about the real itinerary for the trip, I didn’t take his word as bond. When I finally arrived that June, my sister’s friend picked us up from the airport, and drove us down the strip to our hotel. I took a photo of the palm trees and messaged Marco saying how cool the trees looked. He responded “You’re here :)” and my heart fluttered a little because that let me know that he had anticipated my arrival.

My mom, sister and I went to eat and explored the shops for a little while, but jet lag had us too tired to fill the whole day like we had planned. That night, I was rested enough to go back out on the town. Marco was just getting off and offered to take me on a tour of the strip, so I obliged. When I came down to the lobby, he was waiting in his FedEx uniform. I wonder if my mouth dropped before I started grinning, because cute, lanky, immature Marco had turned into tall, toned, grown ass man Marco, and here he was smiling just as hard and pulling me into a hug. I hopped into his truck and we headed down to the strip to walk and catch up. I couldn’t believe I was spending time with this gorgeous guy who had made time for me. After the general ‘It’s been so long’ spill, he said “When you told me you were here I was like man, my girl is in town. I gotta see her and show her around” I remember being flattered and half-dazed that he referred to me as ‘his girl’, even though I knew it didn’t mean girlfriend. I was wide open already; all of those feelings from camp came rushing back. I was crushing all over again, and it seemed to still be mutual. We walked around to some of the casinos and malls, and basically caught up. It felt great to have a chill night with him, and for the rest of the trip, I found myself thinking about him and hoping we could link again.

One day, my mom, sister and I walked the strip, shopped, ate, got tipsy, and went to see a Cirque Du Soleil show. Afterwards, we were supposed to find a nightclub to go to a dance afterwards. But the alcohol and events of the day once again got to them. We all stumbled into a taxi and headed to the room, but again, after a brief rest period, I still wanted to do more. Enter Marco again. He asked me if I was available to hang out and I jumped on the chance. I had on a pink strapless bodycon dress and sandals for walking, so I was feeling cute. He picked me up again and ended up buying me a drink at one of the casino bars. Sometime after that, we got in the car and found ourselves at some park. We went and sat on the swings and talked for a bit, until I got cold and he offered me the seat on his lap. I took it, and we continued our discussion, moving on to more personal things, like people we had dated and what we planned to do after college. The conversation naturally fell off, and there was a quiet. For a moment we just sat there. I looked up at the stars in the sky and still couldn’t believe I was spending time with him in this way. It was almost surreal. Then, he said into my ear, “Look at me”. When I turned around, there was only a brief hesitation before we fell into a slow kiss. It grew, and grew, until it tapered off and ended as softly as it began. Butterflies ran rampant in my stomach.

We almost drove to the beach because it was only a couple of hours away, but I declined. So, we decided to leave and do some more walking around the mall. All the while we were holding hands, or I was clinging to his arm. I remember us heading back to the car - getting on the elevator to the parking garage. As soon as the elevator doors closed, like magnets we fell back into a kiss, five times as intense as the first. I was completely consumed by his scent, and the way his arms felt around my body. I felt that strange, but enjoyable jolt in the pit of my stomach. I wanted to live in that moment for hours because I had never felt such strong mutual desire. When the elevator doors opened again, a woman appeared on the other side and we quickly dislodged our faces, smirking and facing forward again. When we got back in the car, we talked a bit more and found ourselves making out again, this time with Marco’s hands creeping to the warmest region, and with my hands softly pushing them in the other direction. He dropped me back off to my hotel, we said our goodbyes, and I replayed that night over and over for days, even long after arriving back home in Memphis. Marco and I texted regularly after that, and while I knew it would never turn into anything more, I had hoped that our communication lasted as long as it could.

I saw him in person one last time. Marco visited Memphis months later to see family during a major holiday. He was only in town for a few days, and spent so much time seeing his people that he only had time to squeeze in a visit to my house the night before his morning flight back home. He came in, and we spent no more than 20 minutes together before he left again. Of course after the small talk part of it, we ended with an infamous kiss that got heated… and then got weird. This was the first time I reached down and felt what Marco was packing, and it was huge. I was so caught up in the awe of it, I didn’t stop his hands. I was on my period, and had a pad on. I failed to disclose this information. Instead of palming my booty through my pants, he slid his hand into the back of my underwear to feel the real thing, but went deep enough to this undefined swampy area of blood-tinged sweat. His hand came out clean, but I always assumed that he got in the car and smelled it for whatever reason, because after that I didn’t really hear from him again. I felt awful and ashamed but was never brave enough to ask about it. Of course at this point it doesn’t matter and I don’t want to know.

I never really spoke to him after that. He would jokingly respond to some of my tweets, and didn’t unfriend me on any social media, but I knew we wouldn’t rekindle that flame anymore. At some point he graduated, and got a girlfriend. Currently I’m not sure what he is doing, because we are no longer friends on social media, but hope he is happy and doing well.

I remember Marco because sadly, he was the first guy who has ever made me feel desired physically, even if a large amount of that unfortunately came from lust. Quite a few guys had expressed interest in me and complimented my looks, but I felt no validation on my end because I didn’t find them physically attractive. But Marco was fine and sought after by other chicks, and because of my confidence issues, his pursuing me made me feel good about myself. It wasn’t until later that I realized that while his physical attraction to me might have been genuine, it was purely one-dimensional. Marco never had any intentions on getting to know me as person, and wasn’t drawn to me on a deep level. He was also the first person I felt intense lust for, and as I’ve gotten older and interacted with other men along the way, I can still count on one hand the times I’ve felt this feeling for someone else. Each time, I later assessed the situation as potentially toxic because I realized we were two individuals leaning on each other to fill a physical need that we mistook as an emotional one. Now that I have a healthier sense of self-worth, I turn down a lot of men and find myself being alone more often than I would like. Dating is hard, especially as a virgin, because sex is deal-breaker for most people my age and being horny is sometimes difficult when you’re trying to hold yourself to certain spiritual standards. But my experience with Marco helped me recognize that I have often blurred the line of what I deserve vs. what I put up with, as it pertains to men. I am worthy of a healthy, layered, fully-realized love with a partner who desires me in all ways, not just the ways that feel good. Finding that type of love is a long journey that takes patience, though. I am working on being patient and not taking detours that only satisfy the lower part of me.

I no longer get excited about how people look. Surface-level attraction means absolutely nothing to me if the layer underneath is made of concrete.

Peace to you for reading.

[camp-half-mess]

Anything For You

((I wrote a little fanfic about TKC Thoth and Manon (OC) that took place before our RP! ~Mod Sav))

Anything For You

TW: Alcohol, sexual harassment

Manon swore she’d never love anybody ever again. Not after what had happened to her family. They made her happy, they made her feel loved, then BAM! Gone. Dead, reduced to piles of ashes.

Manon swore she’d never let herself feel that heartbreak again. Those awful nights full of tears, where she’d cry herself to sleep and wish that their murders had been some sort of twisted prank, that they’d suddenly appear and be like, “Just kidding, we’re alive!”

Of course, that never happened. The dead tend to stay dead. But the hope Manon felt, the painful hope that a miracle would happen, destroyed her emotionally, so she swore she’d never love anyone like that again.

Until him.

Oh, that bastard.

Manon had had crushes before. The boy on the playground who Manon thought was cute when she was eight. The handsome magician who Manon followed around the First Nome when she was twelve, hoping he’d notice her and talk to her. A baseball player at her high school.

But never had she fallen in love as an adult. Never had she fallen in love with an ancient god.

Yes, Manon was in love with Thoth, the Egyptian god of knowledge. Seven billion people on the planet, and she had to fall in love with him of all people.

Manon knew she didn’t have a chance with him, as much as she tried to deny it. Thoth could probably get any woman or man he wanted. Why on earth would he choose Manon, his twenty-one-year-old assistant/bodyguard?

Thoth was very much capable of protecting himself. Manon really didn’t understand why he needed someone who basically served as his bodyguard. But the group she was a part of thought it necessary. Probably because she had more information about the cult than him, which was ironic considering Thoth was a god of knowledge. But whatever. Manon didn’t mind her job.

She didn’t mean to fall in love with him, of course. It just...happened. And if Manon could have predicted before she came to Memphis that she’d fall for him, she would have been shocked.

He seemed so cold at first. Like a slightly more emotional Vulcan with attention span issues. But then as Manon got to know him more, he let what Manon guessed was his real self show. And she fell in love with him.

In return, she started to trust him more. In fact, she trusted him more than she has trusted anyone in a long time. Manon told him embarrassing things about herself, like the time she managed to fall headfirst into a fountain because she was too busy reading, and the time she cried because she saw a really cute dog. Things she never imagined she’d tell anyone, especially not a millennia-old god.

Thankfully, Thoth didn’t make her feel any more embarrassed about those things. He’d simply give her a small smile, a smile that made Manon melt every time she saw it, and make a comment about how something similar happened to him. An ancient guy like him had hours of embarrassing moments to talk about.

And contrary to popular belief, Thoth had a sense of humor. His sense of humor was subtle but refined, his jokes coming in the form of off-hand, often passive-aggressive remarks and puns. The worst puns, which would always make Manon laugh, especially with his stoic delivery of them, the only hint of his mischief a smirk.

Of course, Thoth wasn’t without his flaws. Manon had seen his bad side in addition to his good side. In fact, she noticed that everyone had mostly seen his bad side, his stubbornness, emotionlessness, and his occasional arrogance, hence his not-so-good reputation among the gods and others who have met him. Despite his flaws, Manon still loved him for him. They were part of him, after all, and she knew she definitely wasn’t without flaws.

For the most part, though, Thoth was kind and caring. A real gentleman, in Manon’s opinion, although she might be biased. For the several months she had spent with him, he’d offered her nothing but kindness and hospitality and expected nothing in return but her companionship and occasional help. Sometimes, Thoth would ask Manon to be a test subject for odd spell combinations he wanted to try. Nothing that could potentially kill her, though, according to Thoth.

One time, Thoth asked her to be a test subject for a potential strength spell combination. Manon agreed, like she always did, and he tested the spell combination on her. Something must have gone wrong, though, because Manon lost consciousness and the next thing she remembered was waking up on the floor, Thoth kneeling above her and fretting over her, making sure she was okay. Manon wasn’t okay, she ended up somehow contracting some illness from the spell combination. She remembered Thoth carrying her to bed and tucking her in, then nursing her back to health for a few days.

He never asked for anything in return. Gods, he was so sweet. Manon loved him. She hoped one day to return his kindness. She didn’t know how she would, but somehow, she would do it.

In addition to his lovely personality, Thoth looked good. Sure, he didn’t look like a male supermodel, but damn, he was still hot. Manon could admire him and his multicolored eyes, messy hair, and slender but somewhat muscular body for hours. She also liked the way he dressed, especially when he wore his usual outfit of a lab coat, t-shirt, and jeans, all scribbled on in marker with various hieroglyphics for easy spell-casting. That outfit captured his personality well, Manon thought, plus it looked comfortable and hot on him.

Gods, she had it bad, didn’t she? Swooning over an ancient deity like some hormonal schoolgirl. Even just a thought of him made her blush and grin.

Manon sat at the bar, a dreamy smile on her face as she stirred her drink with her straw. Only a layer of ice and watered down whiskey remained in the glass.

She had come to this bar for no reason, really. She had just gotten out of a musical that she saw in downtown Memphis. Thoth said he had something else to do, so Manon went alone. And once she was done, well…she could use a small drink. Not much, just a little something to make her tipsy, to keep her attention off her thoughts and feelings.

Thoth had been hesitant to let her leave, though. “You look feverish,” he had said, laying his cool, smooth hand on her forehead, a look of concern upon his face. “Are you feeling alright?”

Manon said yes, and he let her go to the musical. Truth be told, Manon was only “feverish” because she was in his presence and was blushing wildly.

And now, she found herself here….

“More whiskey, miss?” The bartender asked her.

Manon nodded and slid her glass over. “Sure. Just a bit more, though. I don’t want to get wasted.” She chuckled a bit.

The bartender nodded back and went to go pour her drink.

A man who Manon hadn’t even noticed sat down on the stool next to her.

“French, eh?” He asked in a gruff, vaguely southern-US accent. He was a large, hulking man who obviously frequented the gym. His appearance reminded Manon of a modern Gaston from Beauty and the Beast.

Eyeing him suspiciously, Manon nodded. “Yes. From Montpellier.”

The man let out a whistle. “From what I’ve heard, the French are notorious for their lovin’. Is that true?”

Oh, so he’s one of those guys. Manon rolled her eyes. “I don’t know and I don’t fucking care,” she grumbled, turning away from him.

The man frowned. “I was just askin’ a question.”

“A weird one,” Manon muttered.

The man didn’t answer. Manon received her drink and took a sip. The man spoke again.

“I like that dress on you. Really shows off your beautiful ass.”

Manon almost choked on her drink. “Ex-Excuse me?”

“You have a beautiful ass,” the man murmured, leaning closer to her, his arm starting to wrap around her waist.

The shock wore off, and before the man could do anything, Manon picked up her drink and poured it all over the man’s face. Whiskey dripped down from his face in golden-brown drops as he glared at Manon.

“Bitch! I was giving you a compliment!”

“And touching me inappropriately!” Manon yelled back, not caring that the whole bar was staring at them now. She was pissed now. “And your comment was creepy! Who the hell compliments a stranger’s ass? Get away from me, creep!”

She moved to get up and find somewhere else to sit, but the man grabbed her elbow, yanking her back down. Letting out a yell, Manon snatched her arm from his grip. The man retaliated by shoving her, causing her to fall backwards off the stool.

Manon landed on her back, hissing at the impact. The skirt of her dress was all messed up, and Manon was thankful that she had the foresight to wear shorts beneath it.

She tried to get up, but the man kicked her down again. The bartender and a few bystanders tried to restrain this man, but his strength made this an impossible task.

He kicked again, causing a sharp pain to shoot through Manon’s ribs. Despite this, Manon tried to get up to beat this guy’s ass, but the man pushed her back down and tried to punch her, which Manon dodged with almost-expert reflexes.

The bartender and bystanders once again tried to restrain this man, but their efforts were futile. The man managed to break free of their clutches, and as he did so, he swung his arm and fist back, ready to punch Manon again.

Before Manon had time to react, an iridescent hieroglyphic flashed across the man’s face. Manon had time to just read it before it sank into the man’s forehead. Calm.

The man pacified instantly. “Sorry,” he mumbled in a dreamy voice, the voice of a mortal under the influence of magic. “I didn’t realize you were taken. My bad.”

He walked away before anyone, whether Manon or the bartender or the bystanders, had time to say anything.

“Are you alright?” Thoth asked, appearing in front of Manon and offering her a hand. His eyebrows were furrowed in concern. “Are you hurt?”

Dozens of thoughts cluttered Manon’s mind, and she turned pink and desperately tried to find some way to verbalize all of them, but only one of them managed to be said, the most important one.

“Why...why are you here?”

“According to my calculations based on all known information about the musical and its venue and location, I estimated that your time of arrival back to my place would be around 10:45 PM, give or take ten to fifteen minutes,” Thoth began. “But that time period passed, so I decided to find your location, in case something happened to you. You seemed feverish earlier, and I was hoping that you didn’t fall ill while on your way from the musical.”

He frowned, putting his hand once again against Manon’s forehead. “You still look and feel feverish...though I suppose it could be the result of the alcohol you’ve consumed and the fight against that...moron.”

Manon blushed even more and gently pushed his hand away. “I’m fine, I’m fine, it was just the fight and the whiskey.”

Well, she wasn’t fine, she was fairly certain she broke a rib, but Thoth didn’t need to know that at the moment.

Thoth nodded, his eyes narrowing. “Very well.” He then tilted his head. “I saw that man kick near your rib cage. No pain around there?”

Ah shit.

“They hurt a bit,” Manon said, biting her lip and looking away. “Not much, though. I’ll be fine.”

That was a lie, they actually hurt more than a bit, but Manon didn’t want Thoth to worry about her, even if she would like it if he did. She was just his mortal assistant. Nothing more.

“Very well,” Thoth said again. “I can take a look at them once we get back to my building.”

“I sure hope you can,” Manon joked, looking back at Thoth, a grin dancing on her lips. As her gaze returned to him, she noticed his outfit. He wore a maroon button-down shirt, which was tucked into a pair of purple pinstripe pants with suspenders. A black bow tie hung from his collar. Manon turned even redder.

“You like nice,” she complimented, her mischievous grin turning into a shy smile. Thoth smiled back.

“Why thank you. I didn’t want to stand out too much here.” His eyes moved up and down Manon’s body, analyzing her outfit of a black dress with lace sleeves. “You look nice as well.”

Manon grinned. “Thanks.”

The two kind of just looked at one another for a few moments, then Thoth looked away, clearing his throat. “Well, shall we head back?”

Manon nodded. Thoth offered her his hand again, and Manon took it this time, standing up. She wondered if Thoth used lotion or if his hands were naturally that soft.

He let go of her hand and started leading her towards the front door of the bar. Manon followed, her walking wobbly due to the bit of alcohol she’d had and the pain in her ribs.

As soon as they were outside the bar, Thoth looked back at her and noticed her difficulties walking. Manon thanked the gods that she decided not to wear high heels that night.

“Do you need help walking?” Thoth asked, his voice gentle.

Manon nodded. “I’d appreciate that. I’d like to not die before we get back.”

Thoth smiled at her joke and walked towards her, offering her his arm. Manon took it, appreciating his kindness as well as the firmness of his muscles, though she’d never admit that to anyone.

They walked together, Manon using Thoth’s arm to steady herself as they walked in the direction of the university where Thoth’s building was located. It wasn’t too far of a walk, thankfully, maybe just ten or fifteen minutes, but Manon was thankful for Thoth’s presence. She knew that walking alone in the city at that time of night could be dangerous for a young woman like Manon, especially if she was intoxicated. Of course, she could always use her magic and fighting skills to take down any mortal threat, but that would be rather difficult for even a mildly intoxicated person.

People smiled at the two as they walked, obviously assuming that Manon and Thoth were a couple. Why people were out on the streets that late, Manon had no idea. Thoth seemed to pay no attention to them, focusing straight ahead. Manon just blushed and focused on walking like a normal, functioning human being, ignoring the pain in her ribs.

They were almost to the university when Manon decided to break the silence that stretched between them.

“Thank you.”

“What for?” Thoth asked. Manon giggles slightly. Gods, he was so adorable.

“For saving me from that douche in the bar. And for walking me back and letting me use you as a support. And for, well, everything, I guess. For allowing me to exist in your home and exist in your life. For...being my friend.” Manon looked away, suddenly ashamed of her giving of gratitude.

To her surprise, Thoth gave her a gentle smile, a smile that seemed to ease her pain and dissipate her embarrassment. A smile that brought her joy and a sense of security and comfort whenever she saw it.

“Of course. Anything for you.”

The End

Word Count: 2626

[simblrbreezycakes]

i was tagged by @chippedcupanddustybooks sweet bb. i am tagging @irrelephantsims @magnoliidae @simplymelaninated and anyone who hasn’t been tagged i swear i feel like the last person doing this LOL. heckin long ass questionnaire under the cut.

1. What is your full name? Brianna Leigh [Redacted] 2. What is your nickname? Breezy 3. Birthday? may 4th 4. What is your favorite book series? hmmmm series? idk.... i really like every single john grisham book and they aren’t related but when you have such a niche brand of book i feel like it counts lol.  5. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts? kinda on both. 6. Who is your favorite author? oh whew. tough one right here. idk man, i have a few? but if i had to choose i guezz i would say george orwell.   7. What is your favorite radio station? who tf listens to the radio like det anymore lmfao. i don’t have one. before i listened to 107.1 in memphis in the car sometimes, but i moved so. 8. What is your favorite flavor of anything? i loveeee pineapple anything. 9. What word would you use often to describe something great or wonderful? lit 10. What is your current favorite song? currently really into pink in the night by mitski and also sicko mode by travis scott.

11. What is your favorite word? good ole fuck(in/ed/etc.) i also really like voluptuous and bubbles. 12. What was the last song you listened to? last thing i listened to was another lifetime x nao.  13. What TV show would you recommend for everybody to watch? absolutely check out the good place. also hilda, the dragon prince, she-ra princess of power, criminal minds, law and order (the original), and snapped. 14. What is your favorite movie to watch when you’re feeling down? i used to watch the notebook religiously when it rained/felt upset like shit. but lately i’ve been watching say yes to the dress to combat my depression lol. 15. Do you play video games? yah 16. What is your biggest fear? dying alone and no one finding me. like literally alone not like meta alone “oh no one loves me” like dead ass alone somewhere isolated. 17. What is your best quality, in your opinion? hmmmmm idk that i care a lot about other people? 18. What is your worst quality, in your opinion? all of them lmfao. i’m annoying, i’m physically unattractive, i talk too damn much, i can be kind of a bitch both intentionally and unintentionally, i’m a trash writer, i can be selfish, and i self depreciate a lot (lol see above response “all of them”) and i’m sure that gets on people who love and care about me’s nerves ((but like....i mean it lmfao)) 19. Do you like cats or dogs better? whew tough. prolly cats though.  20. What is your favorite season? winter followed by a tie between spring and fall.  21. Are you in a relationship? nah lmfao.  22. What is something you miss from your childhood? not being so fuckin ugly and depressed lmfao. 23. Who is your best friend? “my person” as greys anatomy stans would say is ivy lynn [redacted] [redacted] but i also wanna shout out my home girl mary (i know you follow me on here), my home girl christina (also follows me on here but she never checks her simblr anymore), my smoothie gang bitches, my NSA bitches (which includes both ivy and mary lmfao), and my memphis as fuck family. honorable mention to loml [redacted] who is skating on thin fucking ice with me right now lmfao. 24. What is your eye color? brown 25. What is your hair color? brown 26. Who is someone you love? don’t make me answer this tumblr gods. 27. Who is someone you trust? all my best friends, my parents, my brother. 28. Who is someone you think about often? fucking murder me @ this question lmfao. my friend kate (RIP) my grandmother grannypeg (RIP) and [redacted] 29. Are you currently excited about/for something? i’m excited to spend christmas in a new country! forging new traditions and all that. 30. What is your biggest obsession? currently i’m obsessed with wedding stuff and mens fashion and how mens fashion such as suits translates into womens fashion. we love a hot lady in a tailored suit amiright? 31. What was your favorite TV show as a child? spongebob squarepants RIP :”( 32. Who of the opposite gender can you tell anything to, if anyone? [redacted] 33. Are you superstitious? kinda i guess? not really about stuff like stepping on cracks breaking mamas’ backs or opening umbrellas indoors but little things about familial traditions. 34. Do you have any unusual phobias? not really a phobia but i have misophonia. i also hate eye shit. like eye violence or anything fuckin around with eyes is a big no from me dawg. 35. Do you prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? absolutely behind the camera. i used to be a theater kid so like being on stage i don’t mind but when it comes to the spotlight and being filmed??? no no no no no. lemme be a cinnamontawgrowfur all day.  36. What is your favorite hobby? watching movies, playing skyrim (I MISS IT SO MUCH), reading, watching music videos, modern calligraphy/hand lettering, baking (ALSO MISS IT MUCH) 37. What was the last book you read? lol a textbook about developing countries.

38. What was the last movie you watched? i just rewatched the swan princess the other day but in terms of watching something brand new i think it was this tom cruise movie my friend showed us and i thought she said someone else ( i don’t remember now. maybe tom hanks?) it was pretty good he was irish or sum with nicole kidman and they came to the united states and pretended to be siblings but the sexual tension was so fucking high dawg. 

39. What musical instruments do you play, if any? nothing i’m wack and a disappointment to my musically gifted family (my dad and brother)  40. What is your favorite animal?  polar bears followed by giraffes. 41. What are your top 5 favorite Tumblr blogs that you follow? i’m gonna go with my main tumblr because ion wanna hurt nobody’s feelings but i follow a celebs of color page i really love, a fashion page i really love, and a few artists i really love. 42. What superpower do you wish you had? teleportation or shape shifting.  43. When and where do you feel most at peace?  i feel most at peace when it is raining and i’m in my room, everything is clean and tidy, candles are lit, i have nothing to do so the world is my oyster, i have a nice cup of coffee or hot cocoa or tea, and i just am v i b i n g.  44. What makes you smile? seeing my friends, my brother (when he isn’t pissing me off), funny videos of red dead people falling off their horse in cinematic mode, pretty flowers, cute art, round birds. 45. What sports do you play, if any? i don’t lmfao. 46. What is your favorite drink? honestly a frozen margarita no salt. 47. When was the last time you wrote a hand-written letter or note to somebody? a month ago.  48. Are you afraid of heights? absolutely. 49. What is your biggest pet peeve? people chewing with their mouths open and people talking to me like i’m incompetent/assuming i don’t know anything about what they’re trying to talk to me about especially if it is my area of expertise lol. 50. Have you ever been to a concert? hail yeah. many. 51. Are you vegan/vegetarian? nope! 52. When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? honestly i don’t know but i have a distinct memory of a bunch of girls in my second grade, yours truly included, wanting to be strippers. and i don’t know why or how this came up or if we even truly knew what stripping meant but. yeah. OH i guess around the time i was in 4th/5th grade i started wanting to be a harvard law graduate and be a lawyer but i gave that up in like high school and then bounced being a lawyer back and forth in my noggin up until i applied for grad school. shout out to my mary for doing it though.  53. What fictional world would you like to live in? hmmmm idk. none of em really. 54. What is something you worry about? if i made the right decision(s) in life lol.  55. Are you scared of the dark? not really.  56. Do you like to sing? yeah i do! doesn’t mean i’m good at it though haha. 57. Have you ever skipped school? yeah lmfao. 58. What is your favorite place on the planet? i miss Rwanda a lot. but honestly my favorite place is wherever the people i love are. my family loves to travel so whenever i’m with someone i love sharing an experience? i’m in heaven. 59. Where would you like to live? idk anywhere i guess. somewhere it is mostly cold most of the time though haha. 60. Do you have any pets? my bb boi fred lives with my dad and my mom has a dog and 2 cats. we used to have 3 but one of em ran away when she moved to her house, we caught him, he ran away again. oh whale. 61. Are you more of an early bird or a night owl? oh a big time night owl. big time. 62. Do you like sunrises or sunsets better? honestly i like sunrises better but i am never awake to catch em hahah. 63. Do you know how to drive? yah and i fuckin love doing it. 64. Do you prefer earbuds or headphones? i prefer headphones. like really quality ones too. but i tend to use earbuds more often because i don’t need quality while im working out or going to class just easy grab and go. 65. Have you ever had braces? nope but i used to want some so bad. 66. What is your favorite genre of music? i love rap, dream-y pop music and dream-y rap music, i love 80s music. all 80s music really lmfao.  67. Who is your hero? mi mum and mi dad. also viola davis queen of inventing acting and every single color in the rainbow. 68. Do you read comic books? kind of. i was trying to build up a collection before i moved but i only had my BP comics. 69. What makes you the most angry? injustice and offensive ass content and behaviors. also don’t fuck with my friends. i got two dudes on my shit list right now that it is *on sight* if i ever see them again. 70. Do you prefer to read on an electronic device or with a real book? a real book all the way. idk what it is about digital reading my brain shuts the fuck down. i am super fast reader but the second i try and read something digitally it takes me maybe like 10-15 min to get through just a few sentences. 71. What is your favorite subject in school? history lol i was a history major. 72. Do you have any siblings? yeah my chicken nugget puppy brother dylan. asshole. 73. What was the last thing you bought? some historical romance i think? it’s in dutch so idrk.  74. How tall are you? 5′7 i think. 75. Can you cook? yeah i love cooking but saddly don’t do much of it. 76. What are three things that you love? my teddy bear my momma got me for valentines day, my st. agatha figurine, and my yikes tapestry mary got me. i realize now after reading the next question you probably meant like shit in general so. the smell of a fresh cup of coffee, snuggly warm sweaters, postcards and tiny gifts from friends. you know the ones “i just got this for you because i thought you’d like it” 77. What are three things that you hate? funky ass attitudes, the smell and feel of lavender oil, corn. 78. Do you have more female friends or more male friends? female 79. What is your sexual orientation? i’m a big ole heterosexual. sorry to disappoint :/  80. Where do you currently live? the netherlands. 81. Who was the last person you texted? my friend and former roommate. today is her birthday. 82. When was the last time you cried? like an hour ago lmfao. 83. Who is your favorite YouTuber? i don’t have one haha. vevo i guess. 84. Do you like to take selfies? do i like taking them? not really. it takes me too damn long to get one that looks good enough. i like sending stupid selfies to friends though. 85. What is your favorite app? i use twitter probably the most but my favorite app is my spider solitaire game haha. 86. What is your relationship with your parent(s) like? we are very close. i would say both of my parents are my biggest supporters and cheerleaders but how they do that looks a bit different. my mom and i are very similar but sometimes how we handle certain things is very different so we can be the best of friends one day and the completely butt heads the next. 87. What is your favorite foreign accent? i loovveeeee a scottish accent and an irish accent. also tbrh i love a good southern boy drawl. like idk if i could play for you all the way this one dude who works with my mom talks? i would because i wanna bottle it and listen to it whenever i feel bad. 88. What is a place that you’ve never been to, but you want to visit? i would really like to go to norway for my birthday. 89. What is your favorite number? i don’t have one. 90. Can you juggle? nope but i did try and learn i have a video of it somewhere lmfao. 91. Are you religious? kind of. i’m more spiritual than religious and lowkey hate saying that because it sounds so hoitietoitie but it’s true. 92. Do you find outer space or the deep ocean to be more interesting? the ocean. so much of it we haven’t explored. thinking about space makes me feel existential and dead inside.  93. Do you consider yourself to be a daredevil? nah haha 94. Are you allergic to anything? yeah i’m supposed to take one claritin a day but like i don’t. 95. Can you curl your tongue? yeah 96. Can you wiggle your ears? nope :(  97. How often do you admit that you were wrong about something? i’ll admit i’m wrong if i’m actually wrong but you’re gonna have to a helluva lot of convincing to get me there lmfao. though if my being “wrong” has caused harm to someone else i’ll apologize quicker than lightning because the last thing i would want is for my stubbornness to hurt someone i love. 98. Do you prefer the forest or the beach? um the mountains 99. What is your favorite piece of advice that anyone has ever given you? "never turn down a date. you never know who you might meet while you’re out” -my grandmother to my mother to me. 100. Are you a good liar? lmfaooooo i am a reformed liar. 101. What is your Hogwarts House? HUFFLEPUFF BAYBEEE 102. Do you talk to yourself? yah 103. Are you an introvert or an extrovert? an introvert. i may be loud and talkative sis but i promise you i’m over compensating because i want you to like me lmfao. 104. Do you keep a journal/diary? i have a private twitter does that count. 105. Do you believe in second chances? depends. 106. If you found a wallet full of money on the ground, what would you do?imma keep it real with you chief i would keeps the money lmfao. in the past i would’ve tried to return it to the owner but i am big broke bois with a lot of unexpected expenses coming up so like... yeah lmfao. we keepin that coint. 107. Do you believe that people are capable of change? sometimes. 108. Are you ticklish? yes lmfao 109. Have you ever been on a plane? yeah! 110. Do you have any piercings? yah i got my lobes pierced one on each ear, my nose, and a cartilage piercing. 111. What fictional character do you wish was real? my girl nancy drew. 112. Do you have any tattoos? yeah i got 2 of em. 113. What is the best decision that you’ve made in your life so far? idk lmfao. probably when i applied for cityterm and when i appled to go back to undergrad. 114. Do you believe in karma? Yeah but not in a “oh you hurt me? you’re gonna get your come uppins” way but in a every action affects your soul and your being kinda way.  115. Do you wear glasses or contacts? im supposed to wear glasses but ask me if im wearing em right now lmfao. 116. Do you want children? presently i don’t see myself wanting or having kids but i want to foster. 117. Who is the smartest person you know? my friends lol. 118. What is your most embarrassing memory? literally every single memory has a tinge of embarassment lol. but probz when i walked into the cafeteria my first day of highschool as a smol freshman and my knees locked up and i fell forward and my giant ass backpack (because i never used my locker ever in any grade) wrapped around my neck and had me stuck in a strange position in the middle of the parting of the tables in the cafeteria.  119. Have you ever pulled an all-nighter? hell yeah lmfao. 120. What color are most of you clothes? blue or black 121. Do you like adventures? yeah! 122. Have you ever been on TV? yeah but like on the news and shit. 123. How old are you? 24 124. What is your favorite quote? i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart) 125. Do you prefer sweet or savory foods? OOF TOUGH BUT UHHH probz sweet. 

[aliciaelle47]

With the beautiful spectacle of Baz Luhrmann’s Elvis, I thought I’d share a dream I had in 2018. It’s still the best dream I’ve ever had and I hold it close to my heart.

If you’d like to read it as an imagine, go ahead! I hope you enjoy reading it.

⚡️✨💕My Time With Elvis✨💕⚡️

August 24, 2018

Dear Diary,

I had the most wonderful, sweet dream not last night, but the night before. I’m crying a bit just thinking about it. I so wish that it could be real. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. I loved it so much. Ok, I hope I can do it justice and remember everything. Is it cheesy to start with Once Upon A Time? 😜 I’ll settle for this:

I had a genie to grant me a wish. Any wish. Naturally, I wished to go back in time. It was 44 years ago. Memphis, Tennessee, 1974…

I’m walking down the street absentmindedly, not paying any attention and I literally RAN into Elvis! Causing him to spill his coffee all over himself and me. I was so embarrassed… but I think he was too. He said it was fine and took me to Graceland, walking all the way there.

He went to change his clothes and gave me some to wear while one of his maids took my coffee-soaked top and pants to wash it.

We ended up just talking, watching TV, and having fun at the piano. We ended up dating and one day we get on a plane to go to Hawaii where we played in the water and the sand, ate LOTS of pineapple, went snorkeling, you name it.

One night he’s acting completely opposite of his usual self and I finally tell him he can tell me anything. He ended up giving me a beautiful pearl ring with a silver band and two Hawaiian flowers, one on each side of the pearl and asked me to be his girlfriend, to go steady, and naturally, I said, “Ok!”

We were both SO completely and incandescently happy. I ended up moving into Graceland (I know! Scandalous! Right?! Lol jk)

His room became mine too. We never actually had sex together- we both wanted to wait. We just slept in the same bed together is all. We did different activities all the time.

Sometimes Elvis would leave town to go to CA or Vegas to do shows. Sometimes, I came too. I’d read stories though. Stories of him with gorgeous models and movie stars. I tried not to let it bother me, and reminded myself that this is Elvis. He’s a rockstar and a very famous person and most definitely not a one-woman kind of man. So I never said anything. He was so wonderful to me otherwise.

Elvis was gentle and loving, funny, and sweet, and I could tell him anything. He’d confide in me too.

My heart sang and I thought I might cry when I heard him call me “Satnin” for the first time. It was always my name or “darlin’” before. Because of the tears in my eyes, he thought I didn’t like the nickname at first but I assured him that I indeed loved it.

One night we were up talking and Priscilla came up. I asked Elvis if he still loved her. He hesitated at first but I told him that it was ok. He ended up telling me that yes, he still loved her and always would. She was the greatest thing that ever happened to him…apart from me. I asked him if one of my favorite songs, “Always On My Mind” was about her and he said, “Yes. And I meant every word.”

I sat in silence for a bit, and I felt his sharp gaze on me.

I just thought that it was so beautiful because I always thought that they were darling. I loved them together…

I must’ve been silent for awhile because he asked me of everything was ok. I turned to him to say something I thought he needed to hear. I essentially said that I loved him, but, if there was ever a chance for him and Priscilla, he should go for it. Regardless if we were still together. Especially since he still loved her and always would. He looked at me kinda funny (and mind you, I was crying during this). He eventually said he loved me too and if I was sure about that decision and why I would do that for him. I told Elvis that ultimately, I wanted him to be happy. Even if it wasn’t with me. “If you truly love someone, you set them free.” We hugged and he kissed my forehead. He dug into his pocket and pulled out a box with a silver ring in the shape of a crown and told me that I was his princess and hopefully, perhaps someday I’d be his queen.

Several months have passed. Elvis comes to me one day and tells me to close my eyes. I was suspicious but did as I was told and when I opened my eyes, I saw him kneeling down on one knee with a beautiful, big, 4 carat Tiffany Setting Diamond ring. 💍 (he knew how much I loved the Tiffany & Co. brand). The ring was absolutely breathtaking and shined with a brightness beyond the sun.

Elvis told me he loved me. He couldn’t live without me. He’d always take care of me, and I had changed his life. He then said those four words every girl wishes to hear. I was beyond ecstatic! I hugged him gleefully and said, “Yes!”

We laughed, cried, and hugged. I couldn’t remember a time I hadn’t been happier. Elvis was smiling SO much- more than he had in awhile and he held me and sang.

The wedding finally came at last! It was small and intimate but so very pretty. We were married February 3, 1975. Surrounded by more flowers than I’d ever seen and our loved ones. We promised to love and to cherish one another. We promised to be true. I was SO happy… I’d found my prince, my soulmate, my friend. My foot slid into the glass slipper and I’d finally found where I belonged- with him in his loving arms.

The wedding and celebrations were over much too soon. I wish I could remember where we honeymooned! I’d imagine it was Paris or Hawaii again but I’m not sure. (We really loved Hawaii, especially him).

On our wedding night, we finally went all the way for the first time. It was really sweet and gentle but filled with passion. I’d never known a love like this.

We fast forward and Elvis is on stage. He makes a short speech and says he would like the audience to welcome someone very special to him and asked me to come onstage. I was his wife and queen and he was The King. He then proceeded to sing, “The Wonder Of You.” Just to me and then together we sang, “Love Me Tender.” He took the first verse, I took the second, and we joined in on the third together. It was magic!

The concert was SO FUN and everything seemed perfect. Some time goes by, we traveled a bit, went to Hawaii again too. It was always just us. Elvis and I had decided not to have children. He had asked me if that was ok and being so young, I must want some of my own. I said only if he did. He told me he loved Lisa too much and couldn’t imagine having another and possibly make her feel unloved or unwanted. I had told him I loved Lisa (which I did), I treated her as my own child. He knew I really loved her and appreciated it. I never told him, but I obviously knew about what has happened between him and Priscilla. I knew that if I did have a baby that our relationship would never be the same and our marriage would never be the same because I knew that he couldn’t have sex with women who were mothers because they were “too pure” for that. (Being someone who has traveled back in time, I obviously knew everything that had and would pan out. )

The dream took a turn when I found a lipstick that I knew wasn’t mine in one of our cars. I had suspected Elvis had been still having his little affairs here and there but I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and I always kept all this to myself. I suddenly couldn’t hold it in any longer. I had thought that with our vows and all, everything would be different, and it had for awhile. I finally confronted him about it and he confessed and asked me how long I’ve known.

I told him since before we got married. He wondered why I’d waited until now to say something. I told him that I didn’t want to believe it, that I could tell myself it wasn’t true if we never talked about it. I said something like, “You’re Elvis for crying out loud! You have thousands of fans out there waiting for you and I’m just one of them. You have women throwing themselves at you! You’re a famous rockstar and therefore you are not a one-woman kind of man.”

He replied, “What’s your point? Are you asking for a divorce?”

“No! I’m not! I just couldn’t keep it in any longer. I’m sorry. It hurts me because I’m obviously not enough.”

“Is this your way of saying you want a divorce?!”

“No, I don’t want a divorce!”

“Dammit woman! Why must you give me a hard time?! You have everything a woman could ever want. You enjoy all of it too.” He gestured around the room with his hands.

“Yes, I do love my beautiful things and this beautiful home but what I want more than anything is YOU. Just. YOU. We made vows to stay true to one another.”

“Come on! You’re telling me that during all our time together, since our first Hawaii trip, you haven’t been with another man at least once? Usually I can tell. I could tell when Cilla did.”

He glared at me and I started to cry.

“Is that what you really think?! I’m NOT Priscilla, Elvis! I made you a promise, and I’ve been true to my word. I won’t even let another man touch me. I’d feel terrible if that happened because I knew I’d have a husband waiting at home who’d be absolutely crushed if he found out but also someone I made promises to. I want YOU. I love. YOU. Elvis, it’ll always only be YOU.”

I had been crying this whole time. “Satnin…”

He comes over as if he’s going to hug me but then leaves the room. I sink to the floor. I felt horrible and completely dejected. I wondered if he was going to file for a divorce. Stupidly, I get up from the floor and I head to our bathroom looking for one thing- pills. Elvis’s pills. I found his stash and took some Placidyls. I knew they’d start working practically instantaneously, so I got ready for bed in my prettiest nightgown and my hair down and brushed. I don’t know if I knew or what I’d hoped would happen but, I knew that if Elvis no longer wanted to be together anymore, I couldn’t live with that. He was the whole reason I had gone back in time and I had grown to love him.

I woke up to Elvis trying to wake me up by repeating my name and splashing cold water on my face. I slowly opened my eyes and I looked at him. To my surprise, he had a worried look on his face and a furrowed brow. He hugged me tightly and told me I’d been out cold for almost 2 days and he was glad I was alright.

He then apologized for our fight saying that he wanted to believe me but he really didn’t trust anyone and had a hard time doing so because of stuff in the past with others.

Elvis proceeded to tell me that he had asked Joe (Esposito) and the others to keep tabs on me several years ago, but Joe and the others assured him that I was different and had been true to my word. He then felt really badly and couldn’t face me right away, so he slept in another room. But when it got into the late afternoon the next day, he was worried because I was still asleep. He went into the bathroom and saw the open bottle and the spilled-out contents… he then knew what I was trying to do. He felt that it was all his fault (and it was) that I had tried to kill myself. I told him that I though he didn’t love me anymore and wanted a divorce and was going to end things. I couldn’t live with that. I loved him too much and the life we had created together. How could Elvis love me?… and not trust me? He apologized again. He was going to learn to be more trusting and trust me from now on. He said he didn’t want to have anymore affairs. That it was one of the reasons that he had lost Cilla and didn’t want to lose me too. He told me he loved me and always had since the day we met and got coffee all over us. We laughed. He kissed my forehead, cradled me, and sang, “Can’t Help Falling In Love.” I adored and cherished the times he’d sing to me or when we’d sing together. I always felt safe there in his arms. I don’t know if he ever knew that. I feel asleep listening to the sound of his voice, knowing things would be ok…

It’s Christmas. A beautiful one. We drink hot cocoa, open presents, and sing around the piano. Elvis gave me a beautiful pair of silver and Diamond teardrop earrings and I gave him a song I had recorded. It was “Young and Beautiful “ by Lana Del Ray (but of course in the ‘70s, this song wouldn’t exist yet). Elvis really loved it and told me I should “write” more music…

Before I know it, it’s our anniversary! Elvis and I have a lovely dinner in Hawaii and he gives me a beautiful Diamond and platinum horseshoe ring (like the ones he had made for him and Priscilla). Elvis had been pestering me and asking me for a song that he could record so I gave him “Let Me Be Your Wings” by Barry Manilow (but of course in the ‘70s, this song wouldn’t exist yet). He loved the song so much, he ended up recording it.

Meanwhile, most days are wonderful and good days but Elvis is getting more and more irritable and declining rapidly because of the pills. I’ve begged him for years to stop the pills. I also told him how worried I was about him, the Colonel, his buddies, and even Priscilla. He said he knew. He had gone to visit Priscilla to ask her to come back to him. He had realized what he’d lost, never stopped loving her, and wanted her back. She told him that she loved him but they were both just kids when they had fallen in love. She’d always have a special place for him in her heart. That he was her greatest love. He said, “maybe someday, sometime, another place.” And she said, “Perhaps.” It was a bit hard for me to hear but I knew it was something that was going to happen. I then realized I had to tell him. EVERYTHING. Then, maybe, there was a chance he’d stop. That maybe I could alter history and alter the past and we could stay here forever. I did not want to return to 2018. (All this occurred about late 1976).

So, I left the room and I got out a suitcase that I had never unpacked, and Elvis saw me with it and thought I was leaving. I assured him that I wasn’t leaving, I still loved him deeply. I just had to show him something important.

I opened the suitcase to reveal all that I had packed and hadn’t opened or looked at in 3 years. I had packed it with books, magazines, VHS tapes, CDs, DVDs, of his life and death as well as some 2018 stuff like an iPod, my iPhone, some photos… so many different things. I wanted him to have no doubt and believe me…

Elvis sat in silence for awhile after I’d told him everything about the genie, that I’m not really from here, I’m just a lonely girl from California who lives/lived way past his time but admired him so much I wanted to meet him and then I fell in love with him. He read some things as well. He had tears in his eyes and I did too. I hugged my dear husband and begged him to stop the drugs. He told me he always believed he needed them but saw proof of what would happen if he carried on down this road. I told him we were all here for him. He seemed positive and turned toward change and I was too. Things had finally started to turn around! Elvis was doing so well. All of us were hopeful and happy. Everything seemed like it was going to be perfect. I was happy I was able to help my love and hoped that I had added a few more years to his life… or so it seemed.

Sadly, it didn’t matter. Elvis became unresponsive early August 16, 1977 and was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance. As I rode with him, I begged him to hold on and not to leave me. Joe, the rest of the crew, Vernon, and I waited in the waiting room for what seemed like eternity. Eventually, the doctor came out and I hoped against hope history wouldn’t pan out the way it had before. That I had helped my Elvis get better and saved him. But, the doctor pulled me aside and told me they did everything they could. But Elvis, my dear beloved husband, was gone. The King was gone. I started hyperventilating and sobbing uncontrollably and Joe rushed to me and hugged me and just let me cry. Right there. In front of everyone. Eventually, everyone was called, (Priscilla was beside herself) and I told the press. I could hardly keep it together.

When I arrived back to Graceland that night, it seemed empty and dull and dark. Like all the color and happiness had been sucked out of it. I went into our room and into his closet. I ran my fingers over his clothes. I found one of his jackets and tried it on. It still smelled like him. I felt something in the pocket and pulled it out- his initial EP necklace. I sat down in the closet clutching the necklace and cried. The genie came to me and told me I had tried, but it just couldn’t be done. He thought it best if I finally returned to 2018. That there was no reason for me to stay. Of course there was a reason to stay! I had to help plan the funeral. I couldn’t leave now!

I helped Joe and Vernon plan the funeral. When Priscilla arrived, I ran towards her and hugged her. We both cried.

That night, I could hardly sleep. Elvis had taught me the piano. I sat down at the beautiful white bench and traced the keys with my fingertips. I then played and sang, “There You’ll Be”, “My Heart Will Go On”, and Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again. I guess the whole house heard because as I closed the piano lid, there was clapping and more and then more. I turned and saw all of Elvis’s buddies, Vernon, Dodger, Ann-Margaret, his staff, and Priscilla. They told me I had to perform one of those songs at the service. I reluctantly agreed to do “There You’ll Be”.

The service was beautiful, there were so many flowers… it reminded me of happier times like our wedding… I got through the song. I had chosen to wear a floor length black velvet dress that Elvis really liked on me (and I did too), my teardrop earrings, my wedding ring set, and my horseshoe anniversary ring.

Elvis and I had met when I was 21. I wasn’t even 25 when he passed. Although, the thing about genie time travel magic is that it’ll be as if no time had passed. So I’d go back to 2018 and be a 21 year old again. This dream was so difficult yet beautiful and heartwarming…

I was still in shock after the funeral. I definitely remember that. I ended up staying at Graceland for another whole year… I don’t know why. I was both unwilling to stay and unwilling to go.

I just couldn’t believe he was gone. My Elvis, was gone. The man I loved so much, my best friend, my husband. The answer to my heart’s song.

I replayed everything he’d ever said to me… his face, his eyelashes, his lips, his arms.

Ann-Margaret ended up asking me if I’d do a show in his honor- one night only in Vegas. All the money would go to various charities. I agreed.

The concert was really fun. I wore some cute dresses and a pantsuit- bedazzled and everything. I sang some of his hits, as well as some of my personal favorites (I love too many…), a few to recordings of him (so they became duets), Young and Beautiful (the song I “wrote” for him), “There You’ll Be”, “My Heart Will Go On”, and Wishing You Were Somehow Here Again. It was difficult to do, but I did it and I definitely felt his presence there on stage with me. I’ve always loved performing on stage! (Even if it’s in a dream 😉)

Shortly after, I decided to leave. It was August 1978. It was time to go home. Although nothing would ever be the same. I would never be the same. No one knew I was from the future except Elvis.

Vernon & Dodger wanted me to stay. Vernon even offered me EPE (Elvis Presley Enterprises) but I knew that was really supposed to go to Priscilla, so I told him to give it to her. I knew she was supposed to get all Vernon was offering me in 1979 where she later turned Graceland into what it is today and continue to spread Elvis’s legacy and keep his memory alive. (She really has done so much). I said to Vernon that it was an honor I’d have to refuse and that Elvis’s greatest love should have it. She would bring more Justice to it than I ever could.

We all said our goodbyes and my genie asked me if I wanted to return home not remembering anything. I immediately said no. Despite the pain I was in, I loved Elvis. He was a wonderful friend and an even better husband. My Satnin.

So I gathered all my belongings and went back to my room at Grammie’s house in 2018. To my surprise, I got to keep the gifts I had received from Elvis. The genie even gave me the very first gift Elvis had ever given me- the pearl ring with the beautiful plumerias. I thought it was gone forever. My eyes filled with happy tears. I thanked my genie, and he left.

I sat on my bed gazing at my treasures. Especially my beautiful engagement/wedding ring. I knew I’d have to take it off eventually, but not now. Not yet.

I smiled and said a silent prayer to God with a message for my Elvis…

And then I woke up.

Elvis and I had a beautiful, wonderful time together that I hope I’ll always cherish and remember forever. I’ll never forget it.

[poptod]

The Story of Golden Fish and Red Duck (Ahkmenrah x Reader, Ch. 2)

Ch. 1

Word Count: 5.1k AO3 Link: The Story of Golden Fish and Red Duck

"I cannot begin to tell you how irritating he is," you moaned to Unas, who mostly ignored your complaining in favor of his newest toy. Outside the sun sat low upon the distant mountains, thin clouds adding texture to a smooth, purple blue sky. A gentle breeze blew through the arches built into a wall in his room, billowing silk curtains in soft shapes. Unas had somehow managed to become your friend, which was a rare thing considering your status, but his own father was a scribe, thus the social status was level.

He was, suffice to say, an acquired taste. In fact, he hardly had any friends at all besides you due to the fact that he was far too eccentric in his decisions and, speaking honestly, a little feral. You didn't mind - you'd spend the day at his house, help him tinker away at his art and inventions, tell him a little about your life (and be unsure if he's hearing you the entire time), and end the day with inviting him to yours. Every now and then he took up the offer, showing up at your doorstep in the morning and following you on your trips around the city.

One of the things he adored was, unfortunately, looking through trash. It had confused you at first, as it would most likely do to most people, but, waist deep in torn baskets and cloths, he told you, "if you look through what's broken, you'll find what people need."

From that day forth you realized Unas was far more intelligent than most people gave him credit for.

"This is still the prince we're talking about here, right?" He asked, biting his lip as he carved a very delicate line into the wet tablet.

"Yes. His face makes me want to punch him," you said, leaning back till your head fell off the edge of the couch. Unas tsked, shaking his head, still concentrating deeply on his work.

"Isn't that a little treasonous?"

"Maybe, but it doesn't mean he doesn't deserve it. You agree with me, right? I've told you what he's like," you said, getting up off your back and crouching beside him, your hand on his shoulder. Glancing at you he laughed, ruffling your hair.

"I think I'd have to meet him first before forming any opinions."

"Trust me, you don't want to meet him."

"Perhaps not," Unas said, tapping the end of his utensil on his chin. "Care to go diving?"

"Every time," you said with a grin, the two of you standing up together.

As per usual, people flooded the market, flitting about looking for various spices and cloths. The occasional food carts were always swarmed, massive lines of people queued up for the famous delicacies of Memphis' high markets. Overhead the sun sent cascades of heat down upon the backs of the crowded streets, and at the center of everything, a fountain stood, filled with pristine water that glittered in the light of day. As delightful as the high markets were, you and Unas had a far different destination, which was fortunately rather close to the market.

In a corner of the city that not many ventured to, a good deal of people had taken up the habit of dumping their old and unused playthings and tools into a broken down house. Why, exactly, this had come to be neither you or Unas had any idea, but you were nonetheless thankful for the little treasures that could be found there. On the walk there you fondly recalled finding an entire chest in almost pristine condition, the only fault being the broken hinges. Unas solved that quickly, and from then on that chest was filled with the various things you'd found.

"Anything in particular we're looking for?" You asked as you neared the house, turning the street to see the familiar broken down door.

"I need smooth sticks, and round things," he said, looking a little too excited, rubbing his hands together discreetly.

"Alright then," you said with a shrug, numb to his odd requests in searches.

"While we're doing that," Unas said, opening the door for you, "you can try to tell me about any good traits the prince has."

"Good traits?" You scoffed, doing a quick survey of the bottom floor. "I think that's a little impossible."

"Nothing's impossible," he sang, already dropping to his knees and thoroughly searching through the first section of the house. Grunting your acknowledgement (though not agreement) of his statement, you continued upstairs, letting your eyes drag slowly over the many heaps of broken things. Your method of searching was different from his, much faster and less precise, but the both of you got the job done either way. Downstairs, you heard him mumble a quiet exclamation, smiling to yourself knowing he'd just found something.

Out of the corner of your eye, an object reflected the sun into your eye, catching your attention with squinted eyes. You knelt, fondling the object between your hands. It was jewelry - that or a part of a machine you couldn't even begin to fathom.

Unas would like this, you thought to yourself, before quickly thinking, I like this too. The gold in your palm was malleable, fitted onto a string that would allow it to hang delicately from the neck. In the center of it, an amethyst the size of your nose sat, encased in a silver that held a mass of smaller, blue gemstones.

Another exclamation from downstairs, this time louder, caught your attention, and you quickly pocketed the treasure. Running down the stairs, you stood beside Unas, who was still knelt in the dirt.

"Look at this! A perfectly good mirror," he said, his smile wide and toothy. With a chuckle you sat beside him, taking the mirror from him when he offered and tracing the delicate carvings made into the silver of the handle.

"You could just buy a mirror, you know," you said thoughtlessly, still examining the mirror. Besides some decay and dents, it was in perfectly good shape, though your reflection was foggy at best. "Just needs some cleaning," you murmured to yourself.

"I know, but this one's free, and I think it's real silver," he said excitedly, taking the mirror back from you and putting it in his bag.

"Could just be encased in silver, but, let's keep hope. I found something too, actually," you said, remembering the necklace in your pocket. As you took it out, a soft gasp left him, his thumbs swiping over the gold.

"Besides being ugly as all hell, this has to be worth something," Unas laughed, nodding in a pleased way as you pocketed it once more.

"I suppose you are right," you grunted as you stood, "but you can't deny today was a good haul."

"Ah, ah," he tsked, shaking his head. "Not over yet."

He sent you back upstairs, where you proceeded to find several bits of metal and, to his great appreciation, a few smooth sticks that must've been part of a toy once. Downstairs, though more plentiful, had less things of actual value, but when compared to your different searching methods, the work was split evenly.

At the end of the search you convened at the front door of the house, leaning on the door frame and showcasing your different findings. It had been an excellent day to go - Unas even found a door hinge, which was a rather rare thing to find without an entire door attached to it. Hinges were great for toys, though you had a hard time thinking of any other use for them. That's where Unas excelled; his imagination towards objects and their uses was nearly astronomical, and you had a great confidence that he would grow up incredibly successful.

"Feel like celebrating?" You asked, letting him take what you'd found and put it in his bag for easier carry.

"Absolutely. I vote Nizism's place," he agreed with a smile, leading the way through shortcut alleys and into the marketplace.

Hidden away in the busy crevices of the streets, Nizism owned a bakery that was a secret treasure to you and Unas. Not many people knew about him and his shop, despite the fact that he was probably the best baker out there, and as much as you and Unas wanted him to do well in life, it felt good to have something not many people knew about. It was, perhaps, the same reason you never told anyone about your 'dumpster diving,' as the general populace referred to it as. Nizism knew every customer by name, which was easy since his regulars numbered few, and just like every other time, it was mostly empty when you entered.

The building itself was small, the furnace inside visible to all customers, a loaf of sweetbread slowly baking away inside it. You weren't an especially tall person (in fact, you were a rather short person), but even to you the ceilings were a little low - that made it easy to climb up to the roof, which you always kept in mind in case you needed to hide. Sitting in the corner, absently filing different sheets of papyrus, a man you'd seen a few times before sipped at his beer, the frothy drink coating his upper lip when he set the mug down. Nizism stood behind the counter, smiling at you when you entered, his hands balancing his weight against the firm stone of the counter. On several different plates, his menu sat beside him, the many versions of his breads and pastries on display for you to pick from.

"I'll have a date loaf," you told him, keeping your tone polite and happy. Unas, on the other hand, spent a good deal of time deciding what he wanted to have. By the time you'd paid and taken off a chunk to eat (the rest of it was for your family), he had narrowed it down to two options.

"Um... I think.. yeah, I'll have three tiger nut sweets," he finally decided, pulling coins out of his bag and paying.

"Sounds good," Nizism said, putting the three small dumplings into a bag, taking Unas' coin and wishing him a good day.

The two of you walked back into the sunlight, wandering aimlessly through the busy market as you nibbled away at your congratulations treat, which wasn't very hard at all to earn. One of Unas' favorite activities, besides looking through the dump house, was going from stall to stall and getting inspiration for what he might want to build or make. He favored toy stalls, the different mechanics of them always interesting him. Oftentimes he'd take up a good deal of time just talking to the owner of the stall, discussing how they were made, where they were from, the technology and skill required to craft such things, and by the time Unas was in the middle of a long speech, the merchants always looked tired. At that point you would hint to him that the owner needs to sell these things and you're not buying, which would make him leave fast enough, always adding a thank you onto the end of his speech.

This time his attention was caught by a hygiene cart, filled with mints, toothbrushes, mirrors, razors, and more, all of which you already had at home. Unas, being Unas, was far too interested in how the right formula had come about for a breath mint.

"So you use cinnamon to flavor it?" He asked, picking up one of the mints and examining it.

"No, well - yes, but I don't make them, as I said earlier. They're from Tanis," the shopkeeper explained, already looking a little weary.

"Tanis? That's a long way to travel just for breath mints."

"I live there. A family friend of mine makes these things and I bring it here so it'll sell better," he said, pinching at his skin.

"Unas? I think it'd be best if we go now," you whispered to him, a gentle hand on his back leading him away from the stall.

"Right, sorry," he mumbled, thanking the man for his time as you took him away.

"You need to work on that a little more," you said, back in the bustle of moving from stall to stall.

"But I want to learn more about what they do," he whined, his shoulders sagging as he followed you, eyes darting yearningly towards each newfangled thing.

"Then just ask them simpler questions. I'm fine with you talking my ear off, but not everyone is."

He agreed in a murmur, his mood obviously dampened, but he kept his energy up as you continued on your way. It was a great thing you appreciated about your friendship - one could bring up faults in the other, and the situation would be handled in a mature fashion in which no one's feelings got hurt.

"Oh, death totems!" You exclaimed when the sight of them caught your eye, dangling from the window and doorway of a shop building. You hadn't ever seen it before, which was a little confusing, considering something so attuned to your tastes was rare to come by. Almost leaving Unas behind, you drove through the crowd, slipping between people till you came to the front of the store.

"You know," Unas said, panting at the exertion, "you could at least tell me when you're going to run off."

"Hm? Oh, sorry, I... got a little caught up. Look at these," you said, marvelling at the craftsmanship. Hanging at the end of the long line of dolls lay a figurine of Medjed, who had been your favorite god for as long as you could remember. Unfortunately he wasn't a very well known or heavily worshipped god, meaning anything in dedication to him was scarce to come by - this was the exact reasons your eyes lit up the way they did, gasping as you rushed towards it, taking the doll off the hook and handling it. Medjed the Smiter he was called, though in such a small form it was hard to imagine him hurting anyone.

"Look at that!" Unas said, almost impressed as he nodded. "You should definitely get it."

You agreed easily with him, and a few short minutes later you had Medjed dangling from your finger, Unas leading the way to your next stop. The two of you found a brief respite from the blazing heat overhead in the next store, which happened to be a clothing store, stocked to the brim with different skirts, shawls, shendyts, and various bracelets.

"What's so special about this place, then?" You asked quietly, looking down the various shelf aisles.

"Did you see the green skirt lining?" He said, gesturing with his head in the general direction. Casting your gaze that way, it quickly caught your attention, the color brighter and more vibrant than any other you'd seen.

"Wow," you commented.

"Yeah, I have questions too," he said with a chuckle, coming up to the counter and starting his usual long conversation with the teller. This time the shopkeeper looked interested, happily telling Unas about his techniques, even adding in extra information Unas didn't ask about, which delighted him. Deciding that the two of them would be fine together, you meandered through the shop, soon coming across a sight you wish you hadn't seen.

"Goldie," you gritted out, your gaze instantaneously turning from neutral to pissed off.

"Oh, hello," Ahkmen said cheerfully, grinning and waving at you. "What are you doing here?"

"Like I'd tell you," you said, letting your angered glare follow him as he walked past you.

"Mm, that's fine since I don't really care."

"You're an ass, I hope you know that."

"You tell me that every time we see each other, of course I remember," he said, still smiling, something that's always managed to throw you off. Several items of clothing sat on his arm, a stack almost as wide as your face and drooping down to his knee.

As he went through the aisles, he took shirts off the shelves carelessly, tossing them onto his arm or over his shoulder. Confused, you followed after him, not even bothering to look like you weren't doing it. Looking back at you he smirked, somehow satisfied that you were intrigued enough that you didn't leave.

"What in the hell are you doing?" You finally asked when he put four bracelets onto his arm.

"Aw, are you starting to care about me?" He said in a baby voice, his lower lip pouting as he turned to you.

"I swear to god, just -" your anger, combined with the urge to punch him in the face, dissipated in a split second when his face fell from joking to terrified.

"Hey! Put those down!" The shopkeeper yelled over the quiet murmur of the store, instantly catching the attention of everyone inside it.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck, grab everything and run!" Ahkmen said in a panic, handing you everything in his arms and grabbing all that he could get his hands on, haphazardly collecting it in his arms as he bolted out of the store.

"What the -" Unas said, just as confused as you were, but you had little time to debate his reaction. The shopkeeper leapt over the counter, going straight for you as though you'd done something wrong, and then it hit you - it definitely looked like you were in cahoots with Ahkmen. As much as you hated the idea, you hated being in trouble more, thus set out in a dead sprint, following Ahkmen through the crowd.

Behind you followed Unas, who was a much faster runner than the shopkeeper. He caught up quickly, helping you carry the load without question as the shopkeeper pulled a dagger out of his sheath.

"Oh my fucking Gods," you murmured to yourself as you kept running, trying to keep up with the golden robes Ahkmen wore, whipping around the corner when you saw him turn.

I'm going to get stabbed because of this idiot, you thought to yourself, still watching Ahkmen.

You almost ran past the bakery, the one you had been peacefully eating at only an hour or two ago, grabbing the back of Ahkmen's cape to get his attention.

"Up this way," you said, throwing the clothing up on the low roof and using your adventuring skills to scale the wall and get on the roof.

"I didn't know you could do -"

"Fucking move, he's right fucking there!" Unas yelled, pushing Ahkmen up the wall. Glancing quickly to find the shopkeeper barreling towards him, Ahkmen threw his clothes up on the roof, grabbing your extended hands to escape from the mans' wrath, immediately helping Unas up once he'd gotten safely up.

"Come on, it doesn't take much to get up here. He'll follow soon," you said, grabbing the clothes and using the little time alloted to you to stuff a good chunk of the clothing and bracelets into Unas' bag, giving a fair amount to Ahkmen and carrying the rest in your arms.

With a quick nod Ahkmen set off, you and Unas behind him as the three of you continued to scale several different buildings, ducking behind barrels and alleyways until the shopkeeper was in the distance, far, far away from you. Gasping and panting you sat on the ground, Unas kneeling beside you just as exhausted. Ahkmen let his head fall back, laughing towards the sky, weary but delighted.

"What just happened?" Unas asked quietly, his voice breaking.

"You just helped me," Ahkmen said, laughing as though it was a great achievement.

"I will reign hell upon you, Gold fish," you said, trying to get your breathing under control.

"Wait - wait, wait, this is the prince?!" Unas questioned, recognizing your nickname for him immediately.

"I'm Ahkmen, nice to meet you," Ahkmen said with a polite smile, shaking Unas' hand as he introduced himself.

"Unas. I've heard a lot about you."

"Good things I hope, though, knowing Ducky..." sly eyes turned to you, and you had to press your lips together to stop yourself from yelling at him.

"Ducky?" Unas said, breaking out into laughter at your nickname.

"Shut the fuck up," you grumbled, letting your head relax against the shaded wall behind you. "Now tell us what the hell we just did."

"Only for a kiss," Ahkmen said, puckering his lips.

"I'm serious! We just stole from someone, why?!"

"Oh fine. You're no fun," Ahkmen said, sitting down across from you, Unas sitting in between the two of you. "That man you were talking to, the shop owner, his name is Kek. He doesn't make a thing in that store. He 'hires' a bunch of immigrants and doesn't pay them enough, they hardly have enough money to wear the cheapest of the clothes they make. These," he grabbed one of the skirts, holding the white cloth out in front of him, "are for them."

You paused, unsure if you were to believe him or not. On one hand, he hadn't ever really lied to you before, but on the other he was a prince. People like him weren't ever interested in the wellbeing of those they deemed lesser than themselves, too absorbed in their own self image and pleasure to see the suffering of others.

"You... stole.. for immigrants?" You murmured, wondering if you were hearing him right. He nodded, confirming that yes, your ears were in fact working.

"Couldn't you have just bought them clothes, or gotten them out of that situation? You're a prince," Unas asked, his brow furrowed in his confusion.

"It's more poetic like this, and I can't really remove them from the situation unfortunately. That type of power is reserved for my father," Ahkmen explained. "I'd love to help more, but I can't without alerting my father, and he doesn't like immigrants. Well, he does, but for the wrong reasons."

"Why does he like them?" Unas asked.

"He likes them to work for him. For free," Ahkmen said with a grimace, his eyes dull as he thought about his father's political views.

"Ah," Unas mumbled.

"I don't know if I believe your story," you said, voicing your worry, one that Ahkmen was quick to deny.

"Come with me, then. I'm taking these to them now, then you never have to see me again," Ahkmen said, almost smiling as he picked up the clothes he had dropped.

Unsure, you glanced at Unas, who seemed fully on board with the idea. With a sigh you gathered your own pile of clothing, following Ahkmen down uninhabited streets and alleyways, staying as hidden as it was possible for a young man dressed in gold fiber.

"You could do with more discreet clothing if you're off doing reckless shit like this," you mumbled to him, the three of you crammed into a tight space between hay carts.

"Yes, but I look so much better like this," he said with a wink, settling his cape over your shoulders. You grumbled, shaking it off of you and scooting as far away from him as you could without revealing your position to the drivers.

Continuing on your way, you managed to escape the sights of several palace guards who apparently knew Ahkmen well, evaded general capture and had what could be classified as a good time (you loathed to call anything with Ahkmen a 'good time') all the way to the slums.

Despite how much you and Unas got out and wandered around Memphis, one place you basically never ventured to was the slums. This was for a variety of reasons, most of which were rules your fathers had put in place; sick stirred on every street, the mess was apparently horrid, kindness was alien to them, and no one had self respect. That was what your father told you, at least - what Unas' father told him was a mystery to you. What you found was a little surprising, though you should've put it together long before then; there was far more humanity in those with little than in those with everything.

"It's... different, than what I expected," you murmured, mostly to yourself, but the words caught Ahkmen's ear. Unas was far too engrossed in a little boy showing him his toy ox to pay any attention to you.

"What were you expecting?" Ahkmen asked, for once not teasing or prodding you.

"I don't know," you said, knowing full well you both knew what you were expecting. Trash. Stewing sickness. Instead, it was tired mothers and children who worked too hard for too little, still wearing smiles as they ran around with their friends. From inside one house music came, the sound of beats against wood, the vocalizations of an entire family humming in harmony with one another. Ahkmen smiled, just barely, as he watched your near amazement.

"This way," he said softly, grabbing your wrist and leading you along. Caught up in the moment, you didn't think to rip yourself away from his grip, letting him carry you past the many houses till you came to large tent shelters near the city wall.

It was warm inside - that was the first thing you noticed. Unbearable, sweltering heat that dampened your clothes and stuck heavy against your skin. You almost remarked about it, but Ahkmen was focused, and any word you might've said would've slipped past him. What must've been hundreds of people filled the area, many of them children with babies in their arms. In each place you looked there were makeshift beds, containers of communal foods laying about in a disorganized manner. Following him, you came to the back of the large tent, where a very stressed-looking man stood, pacing back and forth as he mumbled to himself.

This had to be something you'd been warned about; people who talked to themselves, who weren't connected with the real world. Your father warned you that they were dangerous, but when Ahkmen got his attention and he smiled pleasantly at the prince, your worry faded into nothing.

"I brought you these, um..." he grabbed your arm, hauling you away from watching the population in the tent to showcase the clothes you were carrying. "There's another coming, I'm not sure where he is but he's got lots more."

"Thank you. Thank you," the man said, an unidentifiable accent heavy on his tongue as he bowed his head.

"I'll see what I can do about getting you unionized. That way you'll be able to really fight for your rights," Ahkmen said, smiling as he patted the man's shoulder, who looked like he didn't fully understand what Ahkmen was saying, but was nonetheless grateful.

"You're a very kind boy," was what he said, a phrase you could hardly believe was about Ahkmen, but considering the course of events that day, your image of him was swaying.

"Not really. But thank you anyways," he said.

Turning back to you, he smiled curtly, leading the both of you out of the tent in search of Unas. He acted as though everything was normal, still making tiny jabs at your self esteem as the two of you scanned the streets for your friend. It didn't take long till your curiosity broke loose, unable to take a second more without knowing the truth behind his actions.

"Why are you doing this?" You asked, stopping the both of you from walking and stepping to the side, out of the main road.

"What do you mean?"

"You know, helping these people. It's such a noble thing, but you're... I didn't... I don't know, you don't really seem like the saint type."

"I guess I don't really know either, but it is fun to be fair," he said, and your new image of him shattered. Of course he was doing it for fun, why else would a prince help the poor?

"Let's just get this done and never talk to each other again," you grumbled, sighing as you resumed your search. With a shrug he joined you, and in a few minutes you found Unas exactly where he was before, discussing the dynamic between Nephthys and Isis to a seven year old.

"But, you see, even though their separate marriages were -"

"Unas? What are you doing?" You asked, mildly amused but mostly horrified.

"Hm? Just talking to this kid, her name is Tabia, say hi," he said as he made to stand, brushing the dirt off himself as he stood beside you.

"Hi, Tabia," Ahkmen said, grinning as he knelt to her height. "I like your doll."

"Thanks," she giggled, her cheeks tinting rose as she pulled at the edges of her ratted dress.

"Come now, we're taking the clothes to this tent up here," you mumbled to Unas, not wanting to watch Ahkmen. Your idea of who he was kept changing rapidly, and you were getting pretty sick of it - it should've been simple. He was an asshole, he would always be an asshole, and that would never change.

"Good, this bag's been weighing me down," Unas said, following you to the tent.

By afternoon you were trying to say your hurried good-bye's to Ahkmen, trying to get Unas to speed up his farewell. Unas didn't feel the same way you did about Ahkmen, which you convinced yourself was due to the fact that Ahkmen was acting strange all day. More kind than he usually was. Still, you couldn't control Unas, and thus you remained in Ahkmen's presence until sunset, which by that point you were fully irritated with the man.

"By the way, don't mention any of this to my father, should he ask. I'm not technically allowed outside the palace. Until we meet again, Ducky," he said, shooting a playful wink in your direction, earning him a middle finger from you.

"I don't know what you dislike about the man," Unas said, shaking his head as the two of you walked back to his house.

"You don't know? How about all the times he teased me, and that awful nickname? Plus, he's just annoying, you know that vibe you get when someone's really, really annoying but you don't know why? That's him. He's the embodiment of that emotion," you ranted, gesturing harshly with your hands while you spoke.

"I've had more fun today than I do most days with you," Unas said.

"That's because I don't do illegal things," you hissed, poking his chest with your finger as you stood outside his door.

"Well then. Maybe you should start," he said with a smirk all too alike Ahkmen's, entering his house and shutting the door before you could yell at him.

[sinceileftyoublog]

Aaron Frazer Interview: Dimensional Soul

Photo by Alysse Gafkjen

BY JORDAN MAINZER

The members of Durand Jones & The Indications seem to be expanding their horizons. Last month, we featured an album produced by the band’s guitarist Blake Rhein, and today, it’s multi-instrumentalist and co-lead singer Aaron Frazer, whose solo debut Introducing... was released last Friday on Dead Oceans and Easy Eye Sound. The latter label’s founder, none other than The Black Keys frontman Dan Auerbach, produced Frazer’s solo debut and flexed his clout to bring in legendary session musicians, wanting to work with Frazer immediately after hearing him sing. But as much as Frazer talks about Auerbach’s influence and skill, as he did during our phone interview from his Brooklyn home last month, listening to Introducing... is a clear distillation of Frazer as an artist, almost entirely. Though he and Auerbach co-wrote almost every song, and many further with other songwriters with impressive resumes like L. Russell Brown, Frazer doubles down on the genre hopping and progressive soul that Durand Jones & The Indications explore. Sure, there are moments of sweet old school soul, like opener “You Don’t Wanna Be My Baby” and doo wop slow jam “Have Mercy”. Yet, the album’s as much influenced by hip hop, from the Biz Markie strut of “If I Got It (Your Love Brought It)” to the Dilla swing tempo changes of “Girl on the Phone”. And thematically, for every blue-eyed love song, there’s a song like “Done Lyin’”, a lurking track about his friends’ experiences with addiciton, or “Bad News”, a funky burner of environmental existentialism. Wholly varied and confident, Introducing...is a remarkable debut.

Read my interview with Frazer below, edited for length and clarity.

Since I Left You: What does your debut allow you to do differently than Durand Jones & The Indications or any other projects you’re involved in?

Aaron Frazer: I guess the biggest thing is it gave me the opportunity to work with Dan Auerbach from The Black Keys. He’s a musician who I’m a big fan of. A large part of me learning how to sing initially was when I got my driver’s license, and I was in the car by myself, and I would be singing to The Black Keys’ Brothers and some of the early stuff like Thickfreakness and the Chulahoma EP. So that was a big difference, getting to work with a musician that I love. But also a place I felt like I could stretch out a little more in terms of defying genre classifications, a little bit. Obviously, there’s a lot of soul influence and R&B type stuff, but there are other ingredients in the mix.

SILY: Was there anything specific you were trying to communicate with your debut?

AF: Mostly just that I’m a person with a lot of different dimensions--not just as a music listener, but on a personal level. I wanted to show people sides of myself that they hadn’t seen yet. I hope that people can kind of hear this music and find it in themselves to explore these other dimensions and not feel the pressure to be one kind of music listener or one kind of anything in their life. To enjoy pushing the boundaries.

SILY: You and Dan co-wrote almost every song, but what was it like working and writing with such a wide variety of people?

AF: It was really cool and intense. I was leaving my co-writing comfort zone. Writing with Blake and Durand, I’ve known those dudes for 10 years. But writing with Dan, we have so much shared musical love--really specific records. This one gospel record, the first time we met, he put it on, and I was like, “Are you kidding me?!? I’ve never heard anyone else put this on.” This song called “Let Jesus Work It Out” by this Ohio gospel band called The Daytonians. That level of specificity made me feel more comfortable writing with Dan. For most of the sessions, he brought in some of the older writers who had been around for decades longer than the experience of both of us put together. It was really cool to hear their perspective. L. Russell Brown wrote with Frankie Valli. It was really cool to see the way their approach was different than mine, and it was cool and affirming to see the ways I was like, “Oh yeah! That’s how I do it also.”

SILY: Once you established that rapport with Dan, did you trust him to bring in the right person even if you didn’t know them personally or never worked with them?

AF: [laughs] That’s kind of his process. There was a lot of faith I had to put in him. He likes you to keep being surprised, and he tailors the songwriters and the session players to the artist he’s working with. This particular configuration of session players had never appeared before on a record. So it does require a lot of faith in a producer I’ve never worked with before--I had never worked with any producer before other than co-producing with Blake. But a key part of our conversation was sending songs back and forth. If you’re building a house together, you gotta make sure you’re imagining the same type of house before you lay down the foundations.

SILY: Some of Dan’s production work over the past decade has been late career albums from artists like Dr. John and John Anderson. You’re established, but you still have a long road ahead of you. Did you get a sense as to whether his approach was different working with a younger artist?

AF: I think it definitely was. He’s such an eclectic listener and can be really elastic in moving from genre to genre. It’s also partially what I brought to the table in the collaboration--bringing hip hop records. Even though we’re making a soul, rock, and gospel record, here’s the lens I want to filter through. It was an interesting challenge. These session players are all so virtuosic. If you listen more than you talk, you’ll hear them talk about working with Frank Sinatra. You’re like, “What the fuck?” A song like “Can’t Leave It Alone”, it’s all about single note stabs. Someone like Freddie King used to put all his weight behind one piercing electric guitar note. But working with session musicians, we stripped it back. Thankfully, everybody was able to adjust to playing this post-hip-hop style.

SILY: I do love the piano plinks of “Can’t Leave It Alone” in between the blares of guitars and horns.

AF: It’s funny you point that out. That’s Bobby Wood. He’s part of The Memphis Boys. He played on Dusty Springfield’s “Son of a Preacher Man”, Aretha Franklin records. He’s been around for so long. For “Can’t Leave It Alone”, those piano plinks, I was explaining J Dilla swing. Bobby Wood’s been around forever, and I’m trying to explain, “It’s not off beat, but not quite on beat. It’s kind of rickety!” He was able to wrap his head around that and adjust. He was kind of blown away. Anybody, regardless of their profession, when they get older, their brain starts to be like, “I know what I know.” For someone to be so fluid in their playing [was amazing.]

SILY: Was there a consistent approach to the arrangements and instrumentation among all the songs?

AF: I think the consistency was that every song required something a little different. Taking it song to song, if you listen, the song will tell you what it needs. I know it sounds New Age and bullshit or whatever, but there’s not a formula. At least with the music I make, it feels like a continuum of learning lessons and applying them, and eventually, you start to develop experience that can turn into a little jungle wisdom. Like, “You know what, it doesn’t need the horns or a solo there.” Even if you have the means, talent, or virtuosity to do it, just trying to do what the song needs.

SILY: You’ve talked about how “Bad News” is more political than the other songs, mentioning Gil Scott-Heron and Curtis Mayfield as influences. There’s also a long history of soul songs about the environment specifically. Did you think of this song within that realm?

AF: I think any time I’m writing music that’s making a comment on politics and the country, I think about it in the context of the history of soul writers and singers and particularly the artists you mentioned. In terms of soul songs about the environment, I wasn’t like, “I’m gonna sit down and join a long list of soul songs about the environment.” It’s just an issue that’s on my mind a lot. It’s always looming in the background. Sometimes, when we get into the weeds of the factionalism of American politics--not even left vs. right, more left vs. further left vs. even further left--it’s like, “Everybody, this shit is happening. The clock is really ticking.” It’s hard not to sound like an alarmist. It’s hard for me and truly anybody to wrap their heads around a mass existential threat like that. It’s so big you want to look away from it.

SILY: I noticed “Gil Scott” was credited with the flute on that song. Is that a sample?

AF: That’s actually Leon Michels from the El Michels Affair. He’s the co owner of Big Crown Records. He cheekily listed himself like that in the end credits.

SILY: “Done Lyin’”, on the flip side, is about addiction and some of your friends’ experiences with it. How did you approach the instrumentation on a song like that about something more solemn, as opposed to so many of the other upbeat tracks on here?

AF: Part of the reason why Curtis and Gil Scott-Heron loom so largely in my creative life is because they found room within themselves and on their records to express the full dimension of themselves, the fullness of their identities. Not just the political fury, but moments of tenderness and happiness and grieving and anger and confusion. They’re all there on the record and all there in all of us. I wanted to make sure I’m giving room to myself to feel and process all the things. Especially something like addiction to opiates. A lot of people in this country are suffering from that epidemic.

SILY: I’d like to ask you about the instrumentation and arrangements of a few specific songs in a row on the record. First, tell me about the tempo change in “Girl on the Phone”.

AF: That’s something I feel hip-hop gave me. You listen to J Dilla, for example, it’ll start with the original sample and then all of a sudden will jolt forward into this new thing, slow down, and pick up again. It’s fun to do that at the source material level, rather than somebody going back and flipping the sample.

SILY: You’ve mentioned J Dilla twice now. Do you have a favorite track by him?

AF: [laughs] That’s a good question. “Don’t Cry” on Donuts. That’s a perfect example of the sort of tempo changes that feel really natural.

SILY: On the track after “Girl on the Phone”, “Love Is”, the Juno synth really stood out to me on a record that’s really retro sounding.

AF: That’s a really fun one for me. That’s a good moment of pushing the genre. Making it a little harder when you just listen for five seconds and think, “This is just old school soul.” I’m not gonna kid myself. A bunch of people will hear the record and think that, and I get it, but it’s nice to have those moments of breaking the mold. I have an acoustic rendition of “Love Is” I’m really excited to show people, which is how we originally wrote it, on acoustic guitar. It’s much folkier. You have this kind of cosmic country thing, this big open psychedelic private press folk vibe, and then you mix it with the Wu-Tang [ad libs a beat] 36 Chambers thing.

SILY: Lastly, “Over You” almost has a punk vibe to it.

AF: That’s definitely the fastest song I’ve ever written. People know me for only slow jams, which I love and will write many more of over the course of my life, but it’s fun to challenge myself there as a songwriter. It helps me free myself up creatively. “This is the tempo, but I want to write it this way.” Putting yourself in that paradigm can help you reach different musical conclusions if you [instead] were to just sit down and open up a Google Doc with your guitar and think, “Okay, I could write anything in the world with any chord, what will it be?” 

SILY: Tell me about the videos you’ve released so far.

AF: Music videos are interesting. I’m enjoying the challenging process of finding my creative voice with videos, trying to sharpen my vision the same way I can hear the record I want to make. Music videos are a little trickier, but I love the ones we’ve dropped so far. I had the idea for the “Bad News” video because it’s really just exactly what the song conjured up in my head. Cold sidewalks, the grey sidewalks of New York. It feels like the sound of the city to me. Somebody being by themselves in a city that feels so indifferent. I called my friend who directed the video, Julia Barrett-Mitchell, and told her about the idea. She had an exact person in mind, her friend Nicole Javanna Johnson who danced in the video. That whole video was pre-shot. There was no crew other than the director of the video, me, and the dancer. I’m behind the camera with my hand on Nicole’s back. She’s tightrope walking on the curb, and then I run ahead of her from the left side of the screen. It was fun to keep things a little gritty and guerilla that way.

“If I Got It (Your Love Brought It)”, that song I was in the DMV in Sacramento with my lady in the commercial vehicles office. Behind the desk they have a bunch of toy trucks, and at the top, there was a sign from the International Brotherhood of Teamsters in the 50′s, Jimmy Hoffa era, that said, “If you got it, a truck brought it.” I was like, “It’s snappy, that’s a hot line.” I sat with it for a second and personalized it, and the song fell into place really quickly. When a central concept is very strong like that, it’s very clear. You’ll find that in a lot of country songs. The verses fit in. It’s like structuring an essay. The verses support the main pieces of the song. That being a union slogan, I had a vision of a union banner with that slogan on it. I wanted to take it up and down the west coast and get a shit ton of people in front of it, but the director, El Oms (Omar Juarez), who is a celebrated artist within the Chicano community on the West Coast, he did a great job rounding up a lot of people from within the community in L.A. and a few in San Diego, and shot people with things that bring them joy and love. That’s the entire spirit of the song.

“Over You” was the first video of the three I shot. I wanted dancing. I wanted at least one person in the video who could do a soul dance. It’s a pretty specific style of dancing that you’ll see mostly in the UK. I wanted to celebrate the northern soul community in that song. The song has a cinematic quality to it, so we wanted to do quick cuts, giving it that kind of campy, scrolling background in the back of a car that’s stationary, where you can see it’s shot in a studio. Not to take ourselves super seriously, to show the drama.

SILY: Did you watch The Irishman?

AF: I did, but after “If I Got It” was written. But I believe the phrase makes an appearance in the background of the film. I love gangster films. Maybe I’ll catch some heat for this, but my favorite is The Departed. I don’t love The Godfather. I respect it because you gotta respect the mold.

SILY: Do you have a hard time thinking of music in general cinematically, or is that just with your own music?

AF: I definitely think of music cinematically. At the end of the day, my low-key dream job is being a music supervisor and curating soundtracks for film and television. Growing up, my brother and I used to play a game when driving where we’d put on a song and would describe what would be going on in the scene in a fictional movie. Make up what’s happening. So I definitely think of things cinematically but in the course of smaller moments. “This is the song that would fit perfectly in this particular moment of a journey.” But you have to tell the full story.

SILY: What’s the story behind the album art?

AF: I wanted it to give a nod to the classic rockabilly stars and private press compilations, where it’s a cutout of a photo on a solid background. You’ll see that a lot in rockabilly compilations from France. I wanted to put it in a place where if you saw it, you weren’t sure what era it was from. I love playing and luxuriating in that. Is it old? Is it new? Who is singing? What does this person look like? Is it a woman singing? I get that all the time: “I thought you were a girl!” I love that.

SILY: What else is next for you?

AF: The album was recorded a year ago, but there’s just so much [to do]. You really become aware of that when you’re a solo artist. There’s really no sharing the load with your bandmates. All the packaging decisions, making sure the details are right, like, “I wanted the front part of the jacket coated, and the back part uncoated.” Merch design, posters, music videos, all that stuff. That’s definitely kept me busy in the interim. I’ve also been working on the Durand Jones & The Indications record we’ll be recording this winter. It’s fun to bring some of the lessons I’ve learned from the solo record back to the band but keep the spirit of evolution and pushing. I think people will be able to hear so much of what they know and love from Durand Jones & The Indications but also feel us growing as songwriters.

SILY: Is there anything you’ve been listening to, reading, or watching lately that’s notable?

AF: I just finished watching The Queen’s Gambit. In truth, I don’t think it’s super good, just really expensive. But it looks great! I’ve been also watching Lovecraft Country. I also started watching The Last Dance. That documentary is cool. They really have amazing access to somebody who is so good at what they do and so competitive and driven. It’s fun to see somebody so competitive in a different line of work.

Introducing... by Aaron Frazer

[uberff]

Chapter 17

Jaylen

I cheesed anxiously as I stopped in front of the door to my condo. I hadn’t been home in 4 weeks, because I had been at the center. I was only home for Thanksgiving, and it felt so fucking good to be back.

Being at that fucking center was stressful. Stressful then a motherfucker, but I was making a bit of progress. Unfortunately, I ain’t had no weed, xan’s, lean, nothing in 4 whole weeks. I was dying on the inside, but I knew I could do it. My mama would be proud.

Just as I found my key, I noticed heard a loud thud next to me that honestly scared the shit out of me. Ever since Robyn’s ex nigga shot me, a nigga gets paranoid to loud bangs and shit.

I looked over to my right and realized that it was just Odell’s big ass and he had fell. He was struggling to get up, because his ankle was still broken. I stopped what I was doing and walked over to him, holding my hand out. He looked at it before acting as if I weren’t here.

“Don’t be like that O.” I sighed, already over this fucking grudge he had against me. Shit, we been bros before Robyn was even in the picture. If you ask me, he taking this shit too fucking serious. More serious than Robyn is.

This nigga know I don’t got friends and I been lonely as shit.

He looked at me again before sighing and taking my hand. I helped him back into his place, noticing the smell of somebody throwing down in the kitchen in the process. Shit smelled so fucking good.

“Y’all cooking?” I questioned as he nodded.

“The girls is.” He states dryly as he disappeared down the hall to his room. I see he still wasn’t trying to fuck wit me. It’s cool.

“Where Robyn at? I just wanna speak.” I asked Winter as she pointed to the patio. I smiled, because I knew she was probably doing her daily routine of sketches while drinking her tea. She used to come to my crib all the time and do that. Winter pointed towards the patio, barely paying me any attention.

As soon as I slid the patio door open, she began to talk. “Eric, you better have Lemonade and not tea.” She spoke, as she didn’t bother to look back.

I swear I wanted to say who the fuck is Eric, but I had to remember that she didn’t know I was here. Shit, who the fuck was Eric though? I counted to three over and over in my head, just like I’ve been doing at the center, before calming myself down.

I made my way behind her, wrapping my arms around her, placing my hands closer to her pussy. She froze up and looked back at me before laughing. “What the hell? Jaylen?” She smiled, turning around the hug me. I knew she missed me touch. That’s why she ain’t push a nigga off.

“Long time no see, huh?” I smiled, leaning against the rail in front of us. She couldn’t stop staring at me with a smile.

“You look.. so refreshed and healthy.” She pinched my cheeks as if I were a kid. She didn’t know I was in rehab, and I didn’t plan on telling her either.

“I look good, huh? You know you wanna hop on my shit. We can go in yo room like old times.” I smirked as she laughed and playfully pushed me.

Now if I would’ve fell off this fucking rail.

“You got a lighter, Rob?” Some nigga came out with a blunt behind his ear. I noticed that it was the same exact nigga that she asked to take her home that night. So we playing that game?

“Nah my nigga, she good. She ain’t got a bitch ass thing.” I stood up, facing him. I don’t know where the fuck Robyn be meeting these niggas.

She mines.

“Jaylen-“

“Nigga, did I ask you? She don’t even want yo ass, chill the fuck out.” He spoke, putting his weed back in his pocket as he looked at me.

“Jaylen, please don’t start anything. Please.” Robyn looked me in the eyes. I sighed, not saying a word before leaving the patio.

Swear if I hadn’t been getting help, walking away wouldn’t even have been an option.

Winter had came out of the kitchen telling everyone the food was ready. After washing our hands, making our plates, saying grace, we were all now at the table digging in. I ain’t had no home cooked meal in a while. Shit was banging. Especially the Mac and cheese. My fucking favorite.

“Who made this Mac and cheese?” I asked, stuffing my mouth with some more.

“I did.” The nigga spoke. I coughed as I started to spit some of it out.

“Figures. Shit dry as hell.” I shrugged as everyone at the table gave me a look.

This was gone be a long night.

Odell

I leaned back in my favorite recliner and kicked my feet up with Winter straddling my lap. She straightened her hair for me today and pranced around in a big ass jersey with her future last name on the back. Beckham.

Since my injury, she been chillin' out a lil' bit, been taking her medication on time so she could be the best nurse she could be. Little did she know, she could do no wrong in my eyes. I loved the shit outta her crazy ass.

We watched the three high ass stooges; Robyn, Deja, and her "friend" Eric play UNO at the roundtable. The day came to a close, dishes was done, and the house was clean.

This Thanksgiving was actually one of the best, no complaints. Win read my mind when she kissed my lips and said, “Today was perfect, huh, baby?" she asked and I nodded and closed my eyes, moaning lowly as she played with my curls that were freshly dyed in blonde. She had the magic fuckin' touch, swear to God.

"Yeah, it was cool. I just wish I could be as mobile, y'know?" I adjusted her in my arms so she wasn't sitting directly where my pain was. I groaned and she tried to get up.

"Baby, I don't wanna hurt you." I held her tight and kissed her temple.

"Don't worry about me. I just wanna hold you, man. Been in Memphis too long." she smiled and melted in my hug.

"Dell, can you do me a favor?" she looked up at me while I looked straight at the entertainment center, where the tv was mounted. My Giants were playing against the Chargers and I hope my niggas out there were capable enough to whoop they asses without me.

"Yeah, baby. Whatchu need?" I asked without thinking about it or looking her way.

"Look at me first, nigga damn."

"Commercial, Win. You know how important this shit is."

"Am I not important to you, bitch?"

I sighed and pressed pause. Tossing the remote on the other side of the couch.

"Fuck you need, Winter?" I mumbled before my face softened. She's so damn beautiful.

"Talk to Jaylen." she nodded over to the slide doors and I sighed, reaching back over for the remote. She grabbed it before I could and threw that bitch like she was one of my teammates.

"Listen to me!" she whined.

"I heard whatchu said. I'm good."

"I ain't ask if you was good, go see about your brother."

"We hardly cousins. Nigga ain't part of me no more." she rolled her eyes and neck and I did the same.

"Fuck outta here with the attitude. You don't even like that nigga." I mumbled, playing with her belly ring so I ain't have to look at her.

"Baby," she picked my head up. "I know I said some foul shit about him but he's out here hurting. Ya'll were friends before Rob. Can't just delete history because you're mad."

"That shit he did to my sis was foul. That's ya best friend, you saw how shawty was hurting."

"I know. But now, he's cooped up in rehab with less friends than he's had before. You were his only friend, Dell. Just go talk to him."

I sighed hard and blew air outta my cheeks. I looked out to the balcony and saw Jaylen drawing at the table with a cigarette tucked behind his ear. "Aight."

She smiled and held my face. "Be the bigger person, ugly. Love you."

"I love you back." I mumbled and she helped me up. I walked over to the fridge and grabbed two Coronas and limped all the way outside. He had some music playing, he hummed to it and kept doing what he was doing. Not even noticing my big ass offering my company.

I sat across from him and knocked on his piece of paper. "You want one or is this gunna fuck up progress?" I slid the beer across the table and he accepted it.

"Thanks, man." he mumbled and turned the music down. We cracked our beers open and sipped them in silence.

"You aight? They treating you good in there?"

"It's like jail, bro. Restrictions all over. I'm aight though. How you?"

"Leg getting better. Still a little pain when I do certain shit. I should be good for next season."

He nodded with a smirk. "Good 'cause ya niggas sufferin', ya'll had ya'll asses handed to you in that Sea Hawks game."

"Kiss my ass." I laughed.

"Aye man, I'm sorry for everything that went down."

"I don't wanna hear that shit, man. I can't forgive you for damaging my sister. I'm only out here because Winter miss the brotherhood. I'm chillin' without it."

"I'm still sorry, nigga. If you can't accept it that's ya problem."

"If I wasn't sure that I would break some other shit in my leg, I would fuck you up and throw you over that damn rail."

"All bark, nigga. What stopped you from doing that shit in seventh grade?" he laughed and I busted out lauging.

"Yo, I coulda ended you hella times and never took my chance."

"And why's that?"

"Because no matter how smart your fuckin' mouth is and how wild you be out here, you still my little bro. How I'ma protect you from niggas getting at you if I do the job for them?" I laughed.

"I appreciate you, O. Annoying ass guardian angel."

"Steer clear of my sister for a minute, man. She glowin', enjoying life. If you love her you gotta let her enjoy her shit. Even if that means without you. Don't force it, Jay."

He nodded and I dapped him up, hugging him.

"Hold ya head out there. Stay clean."

"I'ma try."

"Try ya hardest. I don't wanna hear no bad news about my nigga."

He nodded again.

"Now help me up so I could get at them leftovers." I yelled and he rushed over to the other side of the table and successfully pulled me up. For as scrawny as he was, this nigga was strong. My little big brother.

I limped back to the kitchen and Robyn crept up behind me. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, we squashed it." I mumbled putting some food in the microwave.

"Good. I felt bad that you guys fell out over me."

"We fell out because he ain't know how to treat you. Don't feel bad, Rob." she smirked.

"Don't let this shit happen again. How you meet that nigga?" I nodded over to the roasting session in the living room.

"He works at a tattoo shop in Memphis."

"Tattoo? You got tatted Rob?" she rolled her sleeve up and showed me the tattoos of her dad and mom.

"Yo, that's crazy. New life got you feelin' yaself." she smiled. "I'm happy for you."

"Thank you."

Deja

As I was coming out of the bathroom, Winter popped up and scared the shit outta me, pushing me back in.

"Winter, what the hell are you doing?"

She ignored my question and continued to scowl at me. "Bitch, you don't speak today?"

"Girl, get the fuck out my face. You were buried under your nigga all day. I ain't wanna raise hell in his crib. I speak when spoken to."

"Where's your Southern hospitality?" she smiled and I rolled my eyes and walked out of the bathroom and back to the couch so I could go back to sleep. She got the game fucked up. It's 4 in the morning and now she's tryna run game.

"Deja." she stood over me and I opened my eyes to slits. "I know you're not mad at me for being with my man."

"Nah but it would've been nice to know that you had one." I mumbled, stealing most of the covers from Eric.

"So you didn't notice this big ass promise ring on my finger? You ain't got a right to be mad, who's Shelby?"

"Nobody." I mumbled and rolled my eyes.

"Nobody sure as hell got a lot of emoji's next to her name. You lying to me already, baby?"

"Can ya'll shut the fuck up?" Eric mumbled from the other side of the couch and I giggled.

"Sorry, E."

"Shut up. Ya restless ass is just mad Robyn making you work for ya nut." Winter said louder than she needed to. We laughed and he flicked us off half-asleep.

"Come here." Win took my hand and led me to the dark ass kitchen. She picked me up and put me on the counter and turned to grab something from the fridge.

"So you're not gunna tell me who Shelby is?" she mumbled, playing with my robe.

"My girlfriend."

"And you're mad why...?"

"I didn't throw her in your face. We're barely together."

"I didn't throw Odell in your face. Your lookin' ass was staring." she laughed.

Folding my arms, I sighed and tried to leave. Her mean ass was making me fall harder. She grabbed a strawberry from the container and sprayed some whipped cream on the tip and put it to my lips.

"Bite it before I bite yo ass." I rolled my eyes and bit it slow and sexy, looking into her eyes. She raised my robe a bit and brushed her fingers against my clit.

"Winter, if you don't get the hell away from me. I'll devour your heterosexual ass." I laughed and she did the same, feeding me another piece.

The lights flicked on and two big ass niggas appeared. "Win, what the fuck is this?" her boyfriend asked.

I widened my eyes and kept eating the strawberry. "Yeah shit, if I knew you was down. We could've had something special." Jaylen said and I laughed loudly. He’s been cracking jokes all day.

"I invite you in my fuckin' house and you tryna court my girl?" Odell asked.

"Nigga please, ya girl was all on me back in Memphis." Winter gave me a look.

"Winter, come to my crib. Lemme show you something real quick." Jaylen mumbled. This nigga was funny as shit.

"Jay, shut up, my nigga. Winter, you plan on telling me some shit?"

"She ain't do shit. It wasn't even like that. Relax." I mumbled, frustrated because her nice ass lips could've had me all on 'em by now.

"I mean, if you into niggas I could wipe that frown off ya face and have yo ass floating." Jaylen bragged on his dick and I rolled my eyes.

"I'm aight. Thanks for the offer. Am I being kicked out or can I go back to sleep?"

"Go ahead, scary." Winter mumbled with a wink and I laughed, hopping off the counter and back to the couch with Eric. "That ass got caught?" he asked in his sleep and I nodded.

"Bold ass." he mumbled.

"Like you weren't fighting the urge to go upstairs and find Robyn."

"Mind ya business." he smiled and I laughed.

"Yeah, ugly. Mind yours."

"Aight ya'll, I'm out. Bye sexy." Jaylen blew a kiss at me and I scrunched up my face.

"It's something about that nigga." Eric mumbled and I shrugged. He seemed cool to me.

[auburnfamilynews]

Photo by Wesley Hitt/Getty Images

Yikes.

Before you get any further than this, stop. Grab a beverage. You may need it.

Losing sucks. Losing is the House. The House always wins; your team will eventually lose. And the loss, the one loss, will hurt more than all the other wins, until you win again. The cycle resets. In your heart, you believe your team will never lose again. Losing is the inevitable outcome of sports. But losing is necessary. Losing is perspective. Pain, as a sports fan, is vital. Without 2012, 2013 isn’t quite as magical.

I’ve been on twitter long enough to know that Auburn fans love suffering, and love to argue about suffering, and love to compare bad experiences. We all believe we have it worse than the next fan. And Auburn fans? Well, Auburn fans have seen their share of suffering. Let’s take a stroll down memory lane and visit some of the most brutal losses in Auburn football history.

Criteria:

To date (May, 2020), Auburn football has participated in 1,268 games. To make this super exclusive list, the Auburn team must qualify for all three of the following criteria:

Auburn Lost: this may seem obvious, but to make this list, Auburn must have lost the game in question. Otherwise, 2015 Jax State would definitely be making an appearance. That game was terrible, horrible, no good, and very bad. But Auburn won, technically, so we’ll move on. Games are weighted by margin of defeat. Games remaining: 445

Auburn must have been ranked: if you have ever visited twitter dot com, you are aware that everyone loves to dump on the AP poll. Myself included. However, they typically do a decent job at identifying the good teams from the bad. Being ranked does carry weight, especially among the fan base. Be honest, our own expectations are significantly increased when Auburn is a Top 10 team. This will eliminate games prior to 1936. Apologies to your great great grandparents. Games are weighted by rank: Top 10 Auburn teams will be weighted higher than Auburn teams ranked 11-25. Games remaining: 118

Auburn must have been a double digit favorite: This is the key. While the AP poll is somewhat good at evaluating strengths, Vegas is really, really good at evaluating strengths. Those casino high rises didn’t build themselves. In 2019, Vegas favorites went 540-184-11 (.742) straight up. Double digit favorites went 423-40 (.914) straight up. If Auburn was ranked as a double digit favorite, we were all confident at kickoff. This will eliminate games prior to the late 1980’s. I’m sure spreads existed back then, but it is very difficult to find them online. Games are weighted by spread: the larger the spread, the more brutal. Games remaining: 14

So here we are. Last chance to turn around. Maybe take a moment, top off that beverage. Hug a loved one. Take in some fresh air. Whatever it takes to get through the next few paragraphs.

The 14 most brutal Auburn losses, ranked from least brutal to most brutal:

14. 1986 Georgia

Final Score: L, 16-20

Auburn Rank: 9

Spread: Auburn -10.5

I’m putting this here for a couple of reasons.

Auburn’s undefeated 1986 campaign had already been ruined by Florida in Gainesville two weeks earlier. Still, a win would have given Auburn at least a share of the SEC title.

However, I was born a few years after this game was played. I can’t put this kind of loss into perspective. Sorry. Feel free to tell me all the reasons I’m wrong below, though!

13. 1991 Southern Miss

Final Score: L, 9-10

Auburn Rank: 16

Spread: Auburn -12.5

Similar to a couple of games below, this is an Auburn team that had no business being ranked. A flat Auburn team just couldn’t get it done.

12. 1990 Southern Miss

Final Score: L, 12-13

Auburn Rank: 15

Spread: Auburn -12

Is a loss to Brett Favre really that brutal? A winnable game that Auburn let slip through their fingers.

But really, how do you come back from a beating in the Swamp? Auburn was 7 days removed from a 48-7 bludgeoning by the Gators. I’m going to let this one slide.

11. 2005 Wisconsin (Capital One Bowl)

Final Score: L, 7-21

Auburn Rank: 7

Spread: Auburn -10

Another one that barely squeaks in. Fan expectations were high after an undefeated campaign in 2004, but a poor opening loss to Georgia Tech and an overtime loss to LSU (that included a hundred missed field goals) left the 2005 team with a feeling that they fell short, even after defeating Georgia and Alabama to close out the regular season.

I don’t know for certain that the team didn’t care about the game. I don’t know for certain that the team might have had a little too much team-building the night before. I know a sleepy Auburn squad on New Year’s Day got run out of the building by a Wisconsin team that wanted to be there. Barry Alvarez had those boys ready to play.

10. 2008 Arkansas

Final Score: L, 22-25

Auburn Rank: 23

Spread: Auburn -16.5

This is such a bizarre game. 2008 was wild. Preseason expectations were quickly dashed with a typical crazy last-minute loss to LSU. Then, somehow, College Gameday was the Auburn/Vanderbilt game two weeks later? (side note: the worst Auburn teams always seem to draw the best Vanderbilt teams. See, 2008 and 2012). Did Auburn deserve to be ranked? Hindsight, no, but even in the moment, 23 felt generous. Should Auburn have beaten that Arkansas team? Definitely. Arkansas was 2-3 and had been outscored 139-31 in their previous 3 games. But Auburn was awful that day. Tony Franklin had just been dismissed, and football genius Steve Ensminger took over playcalling duties. Auburn stunk from start to finish, and Arkansas took a deliberate safety to seal the win.

9. 2018 Tennessee

Final Score: L, 24-30

Auburn Rank: 21

Spread: Auburn -14.5

This one that barely qualifies. At this point, Auburn had already gotten beaten pretty badly by Mississippi State (no thanks to two different instant replays, no, I’m not bitter at all) and lost a narrow one to LSU (patience, we’ll get to this one) but this pretty much ended any expectations for 2018. Not much else to say.

8. 2017 UCF (Peach Bowl)

Final Score: L, 27-34

Auburn Rank: 7

Spread: Auburn -10.5

Maybe it’s just me, but this loss wasn’t as brutal as some make it out to be. 2017 Auburn had a magical November, followed up by a poor performance in Atlanta against Georgia. Several players had suffered injuries (Kerryon Johnson) or had all but declared for the draft (Carlton Davis). UCF looked like they wanted to be there, Auburn didn’t. UCF would go on to claim a national championship.

7. 1996 Georgia

Final Score: L, 49-56 (4 OT)

Auburn Rank: 20

Spread: Auburn -10

The first overtime SEC game was especially painful. Georgia was aggressively mediocre at best in 1996, and Auburn led 28-7 at the beginning of the fourth quarter. Even after surrendering two TDs, Auburn still got a fourth down stop with very little time remaining, and then they proceeded to fail to get a first down and run out the clock. No matter, they could still get a stop. Except on nearly the final play of the game, Auburn appeared to sack Mike Bobo with just 6 seconds remaining. For some reason, the clock was stopped and placed back at the 31 yard line, allowing UGA to spike the ball. They would throw a desperation TD pass on the next play, and hit the PAT to tie the game. Four overtimes later, Auburn finally couldn’t convert their opportunity.

6. 1997 Mississippi State

Final Score: L, 0-20

Auburn Rank: 11

Spread: -17

Some of the losses in this list make sense in hindsight (the 2018 team wasn’t as good as originally thought; the 2006 team had so little offensive firepower that if they started committing turnovers, or if the defense wasn’t lights-out that things could go south). This loss does not. This was not a particularly good Mississippi State team. They had been blown out by UGA, handled easily by LSU, and beat their 3 non-conference opponents (Memphis, ULM, and UCF) by a total of 24 points. The game was in Auburn, and the Tigers were coming off of a more-solid-than-it-looked win at Arkansas, and the only blemish was a hard-fought loss to one of Spurrier’s best Florida teams. For some reason, Auburn couldn’t do anything against Mississippi State on offense. In the previous 3 meetings, Auburn scored 42, 48, and 49 points against the Bulldogs. Then, somehow, on a rainy afternoon at Jordan-Hare, Terry Bowden’s offense lost the plot.

My enduring memory of this game: on almost every fourth down, Mississippi State would line up with their base offense and force Auburn’s defense to stay on the field. Then MSU QB Matt Wyatt would drop back a few yards and punt. Not a pooch punt. I’m talking a real two-step punt. Fearing MSU would go for it if given the opportunity, Auburn never sent anyone back to return the punt, so it would inevitably roll another 10-15 yards. Sports-reference.com tells me Wyatt punted 13 times in 1997, but I swear half of them were in this game.

5. 2018 LSU

Final Score: L, 21-22

Auburn Rank: 7

Spread: -10

We briefly talked about 2018 earlier. Expectations were high with returning starter Jarrett Stidham at quarterback. However, the future New England Patriot opened the game with a really, really poor interception, setting up transfer quarterback Joe Burrow with a very easy touchdown drive. Auburn regained control of the game and led 21-10 with 10 minutes left in the third quarter. FPI even gave Auburn a 90% chance of winning halfway through the fourth quarter. Auburn let a 71 yard touchdown pass slip through their fingers and committed several defensive pass interference penalties as Cole Tracy kicked the game winning field goal as time expired. The way this game played out was heartbreaking. Auburn had the team to win this game.

4. 2006 Arkansas

Final Score: L, 10-27

Auburn Rank: 2

Spread: Auburn -13.5

2006 Auburn entered the season with all sorts of crazy expectations, even on a national level. The AP had Auburn at #4 in the country in the preseason poll and was a near-consensus #2 behind Ohio State by the time the Arkansas game rolled around. Auburn had already beaten #6 LSU 7-3 in a nail-biter 3 weeks earlier. This team was good, and had the resume to prove it.

Enter Darren McFadden. A young play caller by the name of Gus Malzahn, equipped with the second-best football player I have ever seen with my own eyes, had his way against Auburn’s elite defense.

Arkansas was obviously underrated at the time. Malzahn had his typical “slow start to the season” game against USC, getting blown out 50-14, followed by 3 wins against unranked opponents. They would go on to win the SEC West in 2006. But in the moment, this one stung.

Oh, and this was the first loss I ever witnessed in person. That may explain why this one is so high.

3. 2016 Georgia

Final Score: L, 7-13

Auburn Rank: 9

Spread: Auburn -10

There was a stretch in 2016 where Auburn’s offense looked as dominant as they ever had. I fondly remember the 2016 Arkansas beatdown, or even the Mississippi State game. That team was clicking. Unfortunately, Pettway was hindered by injuries. Sean White likely lied to his coaches about the extent (or existence of) an injury in his throwing arm. By the time the Georgia game got around, the defense looked unbelievable, and the offense looked incompetent.

Still, Auburn’s defense was good enough to beat this Georgia team with one hand tied behind their back.

2. 2006 Georgia

Final Score: L, 15-37

Auburn Rank: 9

Spread: Auburn -11.5

This team could have contended for a national championship. HOWEVER, some huckster from Arkansas had to come in with his Wildcat and his gotdang trick plays and ruin us on a hungover Saturday morning when the Tigers were ranked 2nd in the country. Yes, Gus Malzahn hit the 2006 Auburn team with its first death blow, but Georgia provided the killshot.

If you were there on a rainy November morning, Auburn had rebounded from the loss to the Hogs, beaten Florida, and entered the Deep South’s Oldest Rivalry ranked 5th in the land (the highest-ranked SEC team). Arkansas had the inside track to the SEC Championship game with the tiebreaker, but Auburn was in position for a BCS bowl game either way, if they could finish at 11-1 in the regular season. Nah.

This one started poorly with a Georgia drive to score five minutes in, but it was a 23-7 Bulldog second quarter that doomed Auburn. Down 30-7 at halftime, Brandon Cox and the offense were completely ineffective (Cox completed 4 passes to his own team and 4 passes to the other team), while chubby Matt Stafford ran the quarterback draw to perfection (7 carries, 83 yards, 1 touchdown). My memories include sitting in the rain under the press box in Section 5 and wondering why Georgia’s shell band was so much louder than our full band.

Auburn lost 37-15, and over his final two games against Georgia, Brandon Cox would throw EIGHT interceptions. The Tigers finished the 2006 season at 10-2 after a super-boring and totally Tubervillian win over Alabama, then they’d beat Nebraska in the Cotton Bowl to reach 11 wins. In September/October, you would’ve thought this team could compete for a national championship. In November? The eleven wins would seem like an incredibly unrealistic total for an offense that could barely escape from a wet paper bag.

1. 2014 Texas A&M

Final Score: L, 38-41

Auburn Rank: 3

Spread: Auburn -23.5

I have some pretty strong feelings about the 2014 team. I believe that offense was actually better than 2013. I loved that team. The 2014 LSU game is the most fun game I’ve been too, and that list includes the Kick Six. 2014 Auburn rose all the way up to #2, stumbled against future Dallas Cowboys quarterback Dak Prescott, and made it back up to #3 in time for the game against A&M. Meanwhile, A&M’s last two games included a 59-0 beatdown by Alabama and a narrow win over La Monroe. Oh, and Auburn was a 23.5 point favorite. twenty three and a half points. In 2019, teams favored by at least 20 points went 224-10 (.957) straight up. You may recall South Carolina beating a Top 5 Georgia squad. Losses like this just don’t happen.

Auburn outplayed A&M that afternoon. Auburn trailed all game, but a comeback seemed like a foregone conclusion. We were that much better. CAP rushed for 220 and 2 touchdowns! Nick Marshall ran two touchdowns in and threw for another. The team was clicking. However, it wasn’t meant to be. A late fumble near the goal line, followed by a rather large blunder with a snap, gave the game away to the Aggies.

A 23.5 point spread remains the largest upset in Auburn history. I’d argue that this game, single-handily, knocked the magic out of Gus Malzahn until 2016, maybe even 2017. Darkest_Timeline.gif. If Auburn wins this game, they don’t sleepwalk through Georgia, they may play just a bit better against Alabama, and may even make a playoff. Am I reaching? Maybe. I was at Jordan Hare for this. Sitting in the same section, same row as I did for the Kick Six. This one stuck with me.

How did I do? What criteria would you use to rank the most brutal losses in Auburn history?

from College and Magnolia - All Posts https://www.collegeandmagnolia.com/2020/5/11/21246429/the-most-brutal-losses-in-auburn-football-history

[bthenoise]

Q&A: EDM Extraordinaire Kayzo Details Metalcore Collabs, Shaq Mosh Pits, Skrillex And More

If you’ve been asking yourself why you’re starting to see more and more Warped Tour artists pop up in the EDM scene, you can probably thank electronic artist Kayzo.

Working with the likes of All Time Low, Blessthefall, Memphis May Fire, Our Last Night, Of Mice & Men and more for his new album Unleashed, the up-and-coming producer is slowly but surely bringing his love of pop-punk and metalcore into the world of EDM.

“I started to listen to these songs with these melodies and these harmonies and there was this connection that I felt from that world to the world where I'm currently working,” Kayzo explains. “There was an ‘Aha’ moment or a light bulb and I was like, ‘Wow! This could be really, really interesting bringing my past that I grew up on into the electronic music in my life today.” 

Crediting his Papa Roach remix of “Last Resort” as the launching pad for his EDM-meets-metal idea and the key for working with other well-known artists, Kayzo has now collaborated with big-name acts like Underoath, Sum 41 and the late We Came As Romans vocalist Kyle Pavone.

Getting a chance to talk with the budding EDM superstar, we were able to dive into his thoughts on A Day To Remember and Mashmello working together plus why it took so long for metalcore and EDM to collaborate even though Skrillex (aka Sonny Moore of From First To Last) is one of the biggest DJs in the world.  

To check out our chat with the forward-thinking musician, be sure to look below. Afterward, make sure to grab a copy of Unleashed here.

We recently got to catch your buddy DJ Diesel, aka Shaquille O'Neal, out at Lollapolooza. How did that relationship start between you guys?

KAYZO: He's a really big advocate of innovation within electronic music. I saw him in Miami at Ultra [Music Festival] and from then the friendship started. He's just like a really, really cool guy and he'll come to me and be like, "Can you maybe show me around electronic music?" and he's been doing it for such a long time now actually.

That's pretty cool. So his EDM career is legit?  

Oh, 110%.   

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by KAYZO (@kayzomusic) on Jul 26, 2019 at 2:49pm PDT

That's awesome. And obviously, that video went viral of him moshing. Are mosh pits pretty common at EDM concerts?

Yeah, I would say so. I probably see, especially during my shows, pretty much like three-to-four a night. I’d say they have sort of become a staple in electronic shows and festivals.

Going back to Shaq, that's sort of an interesting transition into your new record Unleashed. Considering he's not someone you'd expect to get into EDM, you're similarly stepping into the metalcore world which some people might not expect to translate into electronic music. What influenced you to pursue artists like Blessthefall, Memphis May Fire and Of Mice & Men?

I was really happy I got a chance to work with those guys on the album. I kinda grew up listening to rock and pop-punk and all that stuff so it wasn't a thing I stumbled upon more or less, it was just kind of what I grew up listening to. So for me, it was just more of a natural transition. I would say 2016 was when I first started to think about doing this. There's a point in time I'll never forget: I was driving home and I was just thinking like I should play electronic and dance and all that stuff. And I'm driving home, and I'm just kinda thinking about it, I was listening to something in my car and I was like, "God, everything sounds exactly the same and I'm kind of going around in spirals right now.” And so, I was like, "What am I going to do?” Like, “How am I going to be inspired?" So I kinda just went through old music of mine in the car and I found a bunch of old bands like old Sum 41, old Bring Me the Horizon, old A Day to Remember and old All Time Low.

It was kinda like a light bulb went off. I started to listen to these songs with these melodies and these harmonies and there was this connection that I felt from that world to the world where I'm currently working. There was an "Aha" moment or a light bulb and I was like, “Wow! This could be really, really interesting bringing my past that I grew up on into the electronic music in my life today.” 

That’s awesome.

Yeah, that was the first moment. And obviously, there was different experimenting sonically with the music and writing-wise with other artists. So there's been a lot of different challenges. But just being able to put aside everything that is going on in electronic music in the past few years is cool and sticking to my guns being like, “Well, this is what I really want to do. This is what I'm passionate about. I'm gonna do it no matter if people like it or not. People are going to catch on, they're gonna understand it eventually.” So I just want to continue to do it. And so, by doing that, I was able to kind of continue building relationships with other artists in the rock scene and little by little I was able to recruit higher profile artists which then brought other high profile artists into the mix. We would do collabs with like Underoath or like the “Last Resort” remix for Papa Roach, those are the cosigns that helped me kinda get my foot in the door with other bands like Blessthefall, All Time Low, Our Last Night and other bands like that. So it's been a long road, to say the least. But a very, very inspiring and rewarding journey to get to this album.

Assuming you're probably one of the first EDM artists to take on the metalcore and pop-punk scene as much as you have, are you surprised with Skrillex being one of the biggest DJs in the world, it's taken this long for collaborations like this to happen?

I'm not surprised because I think he comes from the opposite end of the spectrum coming from the band world with From First To Last. Coming into the world of electronic music, I think as an artist, we always want to find something new to explore and I think for him, he had already been in that world for so long and [he’s] done that. Just speaking off what I think, I think when he got into electronic music and found his sound and motivation and got involved with such high caliber main stage artists and had the chance to work with other massive producers, I think he needed to kind of experiment with pop and work with [artists like] Justin Bieber. 

So no, I'm not surprised it took this long because I don't know if [Skrillex] is coming from the same place that I'm coming from. I get listening to rock music and being a fan of metal and pop-punk and whatnot but he's [actually] in that industry and so I think for him, this was a way to do something new which maybe didn't involve that. So I think that's maybe why it's taken longer. And there's also not that many people overall in the entire scene that like this type of music, like rock music, and can relate to the energy. 

What were your feelings when the A Day To Remember and Marshmello collab came out? Were you excited because it would open more people's eyes to your music or were you bummed because you wanted to do it first? 

I was really excited. I mean, I'm a good friend of his and I had known about that song for a really long time. He had shown it to me forever ago. We all kind of grew up listening to some of the same music and so for them to do that I think it's awesome. I was really excited for them. And I mean also, like you said, I’m excited for the music itself to have another outlet on a mainstream platform ... Working with a band like A Day to Remember and building that name and that sound into [Marshmello’s] world, I think further extends the opportunities for all of us.

Are there other artists you tried to get for Unleashed but couldn’t? How about some you aspire to collaborate with soon? 

I wouldn't say there were any that I didn't get a chance to work with because they didn't want to. I think I just had so many people in mind who I'd love to work with and such a limited amount of time with their schedules and mine and whatnot. But I definitely have a list and I'm always working on music, so I've already got a ton of bands and artists that I've already reached out to and plan on working with in the studio or wherever I can in the next few months to start writing material. I've got a pretty good list [of bands I want to] work with -- obviously, bands like Bring Me the Horizon and those guys that I'm like super inspired by. I would love to eventually work with them. But I've got a lot of other bands that I'm excited to get in the studio with. I'm gonna start working with Atreyu, I've spoken with I Prevail, Wage War and a bunch of other bands like that. So there's a lot more coming after this album. I'm pretty excited.

As you probably know, the metalcore and pop-punk world can be a little close-minded at times, unlike the EDM scene. Were any artists hesitant about working with you fearing they might be seen as selling out?

I don't think so. I was fortunate to work with a bunch of really open-minded artists from the rock world that are either experimenting with electronic sounds in their own records or have been a fan of electronic music one way or another. So when I got in the studio with bands like, you know, Blessthefall, Our Last Night and Underoath, they were open [to collaborations]. I don't think they were too worried about dealing with any backlash. 

Did you ever want to play any metalcore or pop-punk growing up before you got into EDM?

I was such a big fan of it but at that time, I grew up playing hockey and I was in a sports background my whole life. I played hockey from age three to nineteen and that was the only thing I ever did because I wanted to play pro hockey so badly ... so I didn't get a chance. I put so much energy into hockey my entire upbringing but [being in a band] was always something I wanted to do for fun. I just never had the time. 

If you could trade your musical career for a career in the NHL, would you?

Absolutely not. I love hockey. As much as I enjoyed playing it, it's more of a passion of mine in terms of watching as a fan now. I really found my true passion and love when I decided to make music and kind of express myself in a different way. So I couldn't trade this for anything.

Which collaboration on Unleashed do you think you’re the proudest of?

That's tough. I'm proud of a lot of them for so many different reasons but I would say if I had to pick one I'd be most proud of it’d be the one I did called "LA Never Says Goodbye" with ARMNHMR and Kyle Pavone. It was such a devasting thing for [Kyle] to pass last year. Being able to have his last vocals, his last record and have it come out the way it did and give him the chance to have his voice heard and continue to be heard down the line and forever really, it's just a really awesome thing to experience even in such a sad time. So I'm just really proud that song was able to come out and get the attention it deserves. Kyle put so much into that song, I think it's going to resonate with people on so many different levels down the line, whether they're sad or smiling or whatever. So I think being able to have Kyle still be a voice for something really makes me happy. So I would say that one.

That song has definitely connected with a lot of people.   

Yeah, I was very fortunate to get to know him and work with him.

[uclaradio]

Interview with Julia Jacklin

Interviewed by Alexandra Ivanova

Alex: First off, how are you — I was told you were rehearsing all day!

Julia: Yeah, yeah, it was good. Playing with a new drummer and a new bass player on this tour, so we’re just getting everyone into the right space, playing the right songs and making sure we all know what we’re doing.

Alex: That’s super exciting because you’re kicking off your tour here in Los Angeles, but you also have a song called “LA Dream,” which feels like one of the most personal songs off the album. What was the process of recording that song like?

Julia: Yeah, that was the last song, I think I recorded on the album because I was struggling to get into the right headspace. You don’t realize when you are recording that you need to, kind of, perform the songs, more than just make sure you don’t mess it up. It’s more important that you actually perform them well. I struggled to get back into the place I was when I wrote the song. It’s one of my favorite songs that I’ve written, and I still enjoy performing it, which is good.

Alex: Yeah, you have these super poignant themes in your lyrics, but you’re also able to sprinkle in this really great amount of humor, like in your song “Small Talk,” where you compare your dad to Zach Braff. Where do you gather inspiration for all of your lyrics, and do they also draw on your personal experiences?

Julia: I think on that record especially they were all personal experiences, because at the time I wasn’t a professional musician or anything, so I was kind of just using music as a way to get things out and try and just figure out how to express things properly. I think that the humor… I am a huge fan of Fiona Apple and Leonard Cohen’s lyrics — I think they manage to both sing about big things like love, or loss, or life, but in a way that kind of is poking fun of it, a little bit, or at least just seeing the humor in the tragedy of something, and that’s the music I really like listening to, so that’s kind of what I try to do.

Alex: You also mention your musical influences include Bjork and Doris Day and Billy Bragg who are all incredible, but who do you listen to as your guilty pleasure music?

Julia: Guilty pleasure music…I’d say like… What’s my guilty pleasure… I don’t know. I like, I mean I guess, not to say it’s bad, I would definitely do a lot of nostalgia stuff like Mandy Moore and Avril Lavigne’s first record, which I actually think is a pretty good record, still. So I definitely listen to that.

Alex: I’ve also heard you say on an interview that you really like diners. What is the best diner you’ve been to while touring or traveling?

Julia: I wouldn’t remember any of the names of the diners, I think just more the experiences I’ve had in the diner. I think l had a really great night in a diner in Memphis— I think it was just a Denny’s actually, like a 24-hour Denny’s, and it was the Fourth of July, and I had nowhere to stay because I forgot to book accommodations and then I kind of got to Memphis thinking I would find a hostel and then realized everything was booked and so the people at Denny’s kind of were alright with me just sitting in Denny’s and eating pancakes every three hours until the sun came up.

Alex: You’ve spoken a lot about working through feeling good enough or not good enough in the music realm. How do you personally find your own confidence as a musician?

Julia: I think it changes a lot depending on the day and depending on who I’m playing with as well and how they treat me. That has a lot to do with it, because everyone contributes different things into a band and into music and I felt in the beginning I wasn’t contributing much, because I’m not technically very proficient in the way that I didn’t study music or I didn’t put in the hours of guitar playing that a lot of people around me have; but I think I’m now realizing that that doesn’t mean that you’re not contributing anything just because you can’t necessarily, you know, say you’re in music or something. I realize that songwriting is a big part of it, and that that shouldn’t be dismissed. Today I’m feeling pretty good, the band I’m playing with are all really lovely and really supporting and really keen, so that helps.

Alex: I read that you initially wanted to be a social worker and then you pursued music and then you worked on a factory production line making essential oils. What was the timeline of all of that like— when was the turning point when you knew music was what you wanted to fully invest in?

Julia: I finished uni when I was 24 and I stayed at the factory for two years, I think (so when I was from twenty four to twenty five) and I made my record just before I turned twenty five, and then halfway through last year when I played SXSW was kind of the turning point. I was just going to give myself two years after uni to see if it was going to work out, and I worked at the factory for just enough money to make the record, and then I played SXSW and had to take time off work for that, and then after that I just kept getting booked to do things, so I had to keep taking more time off work until it was just pointless going back and yeah, so then here were are today. So I haven’t really been a full time musician for that long— since August of last year, I guess.

Alex: I think that’s really interesting, because you are such a new musician and the themes of your album deal a lot with the concept of coming of age — what age do you think culminated the process of coming of age for you, or do you think that coming of age is a lifelong process instead?

Julia: I think when I wrote the record, or when I recorded it, that was my coming of age. I thought that I came through this massive learning curve of what love actually means and what being an adult actually means. and now that I’m twenty six and I’ve spent the last touring and kind of dealing with other things, I’m once again thinking, “No-no, this is my coming of age.” You realize that being a full-time musician is not some easy, fun thing that you might think it is. It’s actually incredibly tiring. You spend pretty much your whole life away from places and away from people. I think it’s just an ongoing thing, because I’m sure I’ll look back in two years time and I’m going to look back on all the epiphanies I’ve had this year and be like, “You knew nothing!” Yeah, I definitely think it’s something you’re constantly coming to. Which is good, because I think if you figured it out at one age, then your life would be pretty boring.

Alex: Throughout social media you’re known as “a singer-songwriter who will put your smile on dial but only for a short while” — what are the origins of that?

Julia: It’s funny that you say that. That was a joke that me and my drummer tom wrote — I was having to update my Facebook page, and I think he wrote that just as some funny thing and then I’ve never changed it. I don’t know what that means actually. It could mean that I’m very approachable and relatively happy in my stage presence, and then I start singing and everyone’s like, “Aww that’s depressing…”

Alex: The nostalgic themes of your album are also really strong. How does nostalgia affect you today? Do you think it limits you, or does it serve as more of a push forward?

Julia: Right now I’ve been obsessed with Dawson’s Creek. It’s been this ongoing obsession and right now I’m ridiculously obsessed, and I watch it with my little brother who is nineteen, and we’ve been working through the seasons for the last three years because we’ve both been away doing lots of different stuff— we’ve taken ages to actually finish it because we won’t watch an episode without each other, and I think that my current intense obsession with the story line is concerning, because I think nostalgia in that way, yeah it feels like you’re holding on to some kind of idealistic simple life like when you look back to life before phones and before social media and before big decisions had to be make you can totally just romanticize it and when I look back to that time in my life it wasn’t incredible. It was definitely equally as hard in different ways. So you know, Dawson’s Creek makes it look like everything was great but it wasn’t. But I think it’s good to look back and use things in your past but it’s also really important to not look back and romanticize being a teenager, because when you’re a teenager the whole time you’re wishing you were an adult. I’m trying to be more present and not watch too much Dawson’s Creek.

Alex: Lastly, what can fans expect from this upcoming tour?

Julia: I’ve got some new songs that I’m playing - just trying some new stuff out. I bought some new shoes, so I won’t be wearing white sneakers anymore which was my costume of last year. I have new band members who are Canadian and they are extremely friendly. I’d only known them for seven hours but we’re about to spend five weeks in a car together. so you might experience pure friendship on stage or irritation. I don’t know, we’ll see!