#I’ve been spiraling for months
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
in the best way possible. it’s possible that was all in my head
#being left in the dark and not getting closure can actually cause so much unnecessary anxiety#so my cousin. I’ve thought there was something going on. but I talked to someone close to both of us and they said#they genuinely think my cousin had no intentions of becoming less close and prob no idea I’ve been so hurting sm#and this person would know#so I just feel like. so relieved#I’m still sad and confused abt how we got here but I feel like I have more clarity today#that no one is mad at me#which like. phew I needed that really bad#I’ve been spiraling for months#kyra speaks
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
In a sudden turn of events I am going to be okay!!!
#I’ve officially dropped AP art#You know what that means? :D#I get to sleep!#And hang out with my friends!#And go for runs!#And spend more time studying Physics and Chem!#I am quite literally bawling my eyes out right now#I have not slept or eaten in like#two months#My emotions are going wild right now#Huge sense of grief or maybe loss but also#Just… so much relief#I finally get to take care of myself#And do the things I enjoy#And focus on the important things#My life has been RAPIDLY spiralling downwards since school started#But now it’s going to get a lot better#And I’ll be happy again#I’m going to be okay chat#I’m gonna be okay
39 notes
·
View notes
Text
yaori who cheered
#FUCK i love the stanley parable FUCK#i’ve been spiraling into insanity for the past month#tsp fans follow me#the stanley parable#the stanley parable narrator#stanley the stanley parable#genderswap idk#stannarrator
56 notes
·
View notes
Text
Part of me feels kinda like a bad person for not keeping up with all the stuff that’s happening federally. But also, I’m a disabled queer who just started going back to school, and I’m finding ways to help friends in the area while also managing my stress so I don’t trigger a flare and end up unable to walk across my apartment again. So it makes sense that I’m not reading up on everything, since that would Absolutely send me into a spiral. I want to be able to do more, but I’m not really sure that I can. And it sucks
#based on what little I’ve been able to read. a lot of people are in danger#possibly myself included? I’m not sure. and I don’t wanna send myself into a panic spiral about it#I’ve once again had the ‘if we needed to could we move to another state?’ conversation. which is always a fun one#I’m worried about my access to adhd meds. the rest are Probably fine. but that one I’m nervous about#I’ll be able to live without them (I’ve done it this long) but also it would be very funny to have them 2 months and then not anymore#I’d prefer to continue having them obviously! I’ve never been able to get things done so easily. its really weird#but I’m far far far more worried about other people I know who are on hrt
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
it’s been an incredibly tumultuous last one and a half months for me emotionally, but i think i’m finally starting to recover properly and it feels really nice
#the first like. week and a half of the year was amazing becuase i got to spend it with anethia <3 and then rama and sunday <3#but like as soon as i got back to school one of my friends died and that put me in such a severe downward spiral#and there was like a month there where i just like. could barely function#and for a while it just felt like i was barely barely clinging onto life at all and idk if i’d been able to make it without rama (<333)#but then when i felt like i’d rly hit my own personal rock bottom i just like. suddenly got a grip on myself?#and now i’ve been taking care of myself and i’ve been doing my hobbies and i’ve been.. happier#and it feels so good. instead of being anxious abt everything i’ve been trusting people#instead of rotting away i’ve been doing things! sewing and cleaning and writing etc#it feels nice <3#arambles#sorry bit of a personal post but i’ve just rly wanted to get it out there
25 notes
·
View notes
Text
i want to distract myself with silly and sweet things
#pet illness tw#i’ve been crying on and off#and i don’t want my mind to go to the worst case scenario#because we don’t know for sure yet if it’s cancer or just a nasty infection#but it’s so hard#and she’s so miserable right now#and the thought of losing two cats in the span of a few months is making me spiral
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
I had such BAD anxiety yesterday and was just in this like frozen/dissociating state majority of the day and felt my heart racing… today’s my mom’s birthday and I’ve been out & about with her all morning so far. I think I needed this and to get out of the house and try to relax for a bit…
#I bought myself some jewelry I’ve had my eye on at tj maxx as a treat :3#mom let me use her starbucks birthday freebie and got myself a venti chocolate cream cold brew :3#we’re still gonna go look at some stores/places but I think I needed to get out of the house for once#I’ve just been stressed/depressed about politics/me spiraling in general/etc#also been stressing about calling the financial aid office at my nursing school about fafsa/loans for ‘25-26#cuz I was told they would contact me about it this month in January last summer#and I still haven’t heard from them and they haven’t returned my calls or voicemails#I was making myself overthink/spiral over making this phone call tbh… I’m always anxious about making phone calls for important stuff
3 notes
·
View notes
Note
Turning 20 soon any tips ? I have like 0 plans 🥲
im really sorry but i really truly have zero tips. my life is a mess and i have nothing going for me, so id suggest asking literally anyone else 🤧
#I mean I’ve genuinely been spiralling about my life for the past like 2 months so I’ve never been in a worse position to give advice#im at absolute rock bottom#anyways …
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
i’m. so confused
#not necessary to read i’m just sending words into the void bc these past few months have been so stressful and then my brain is like#do you know what we should do right now? we should develop a crush and spiral over NOTHINGGGG#normally i shake crushes off in a week’s time maybe a lil longer if we’re talking a lot#but Man.jpeg i’m down bad for a friend of mine and the weirdest thing is: it’s a girl#i’ve always had thoughts about gender and how i didn’t feel like a girl but more like girl lite but this is totally new to me#literally get nervous and can’t make eye contact with her for more than a second at a time. my stomach feels weird when she giggles#planning a hangout feels so high stakes bc i wanna make sure she has fun#we chat every day and make consistent plans and i’m literally rethinking everything i thought i ‘knew’ about my relationship preferences#i kinda wanna hold hands with her and see where this goes but i’m so scared of leading her on if it’s just my brain goin crazy#idk man#jo tag
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Happy Trenchcoat Day! Please click the read more to see my work for this month. Warning I decided to be sappy and personal this month. I hope it’s at the very least interesting to look at. BTW since I hand wrote everything instead of using fonts I decided to add a transcript of the words on each panel to the very end of this post
[Transcript Start]
Page 1:
i am a lucky man. i have a house there’s always food on my plate i have clothes worn by love and time. they might not be new but they are mine.
Page 2:
i have a quiet room i still apologize to it for making it so lonely. i have a family that cares enough. i have friends.
Page 3:
home: the place one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household HOME. now that i have NEVER had Nary a person, place or thing for which that word rang true.
Page 4:
still… like ATLAS holding the sky, i carry it upon my shoulders. it’s in my head. it is memories I am haunted by. home is a dance. and it’s her hand in mine.
Page 5:
and home is the birds outside the window and music from down the hall and it’s my sons laughing
Page 6:
Home is something I will craft in my head a million times one day i’ll get it right i am a lucky man. i have a house. i am: warm clothed fed
Page 7:
i am busy i am tired and i have NEVER had more fun
Page 8:
There’s a cabin somewhere bigger on the inside than it is on the outside.
Page 9:
I’ve learned that this is just what love does to a place. and i’m glad i’ve been here to love it.
[Transcript End]
Thank you for half a year of the trenchcoat. I wrote the original paragraph I adapted into this comic? drawing thing in the middle of the night sometime last month though the original was uh certainly a lot less coherent. I hope I distilled everything down well enough to get my point across. It's clunky but it's done at least. Idk we made something nice here and it’s very special to me so yeah I did all this about it lmao
If you’re wondering the winged demon fella is one of my old sona designs, I’m in the middle of redesigning my current one so I just grabbed an older one I’m still fond of.
BTW Voidling & Vale are the two I drew there with tommy cause they're still the top two anon tags on the blog!!
#phil posts#happy six months of this darn blog I’ve been working on this more than the other bonuses I had planned for the five month thing#lol those other two bonuses are their own thing at this point I uh I spiraled so bad with those lmao </3#might never finish them at this rate tbh
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#I had one of my happiest moments in a while at the very beginning of this month#and I’ve been spiraling ever since#I just tracked my third cry of the month#which might sound so little but before I went like five months without crying#I’m not a crier#I don’t know what’s wrong with me
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
question for those who’ve had their wisdom teeth removed: was it a gradual pain that led up to you getting them removed or like a sudden ‘woke up and everything in my mouth hurts’ situation?🤠
#cece chats#my wisdom teeth cause me pain every few months for a little while#nothing insane#just a day or two#and then I’m back to normal#but it’s been weird this time around and now I’m spiralling#and I’ve convinced myself that it’s leading up to me being in excruciating pain and needing to get them removed
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
You know, you’d think tumblr staff would be too busy with the literal hundreds of spam bots I reported yesterday (and the other hundred a few days before that, and the other couple hundred last week, and the literal thousands I haven’t had the time/spoons to go through and report) to ban random trans people or censor screenshots of tweets about trans rights. And Yet guess which blogs are still up posting stolen pictures of random peoples breasts and genitals and which blogs are just straight up gone
#like. I literally spent an executive function spiral just going through random tags until I found a spam bot#and then reporting every bit that likes the post#there’s so fucking many y’all#every single one of their posts that’s been up for more than a day has exactly 120 notes#and they’re all likes from other spam bots#the older ones have names made up of two random words#but over the course of the month they’ve gone to three words and then four#I think I’ve seen a couple with numbers at the end#they’re all hyphenated together like this: random-cream-very-fridge#just completely random words#and a lot of them use the same pictures as each other#like there’s one pic of a person in a dress with both their genitals and their chest exposed#so all the bots have posts that zoom in on either the upper or lower part of the picture#(or they’re from the same photo shoot? it’s the same dress and background in both pics)#but like. youd think staff would be too busy banning the literal goddam genitals getting plastered here#(which like. say what you will about the censorship but it IS against TOS)#but instead they’re censoring pictures of women going ‘wow this is what I looked like last year. I love gender transition!’#and it’s just pictures of peoples faces#staff. y’all REALLY aren’t beating the transphobia allegations here
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
genuinely how do you guys sit down and just. write
#how do u guys motivate yourselves#i’ve genuinely had 0 drive for anything that brings me joy but especially writing#i don’t think i’ve rlly written anything since the spiderman microfic#so almost a month :/ jesus christ#the executive disfunction has been brutal#hopefully with the return of microfic prompts in december i can slowly get back into it#just :/ pretty discouraged :/#okay goodnight i’ve spiralled too much this week#i don’t need another one
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
joe when he (hopefully) finds out h!rhys is actually a hallucination
#rhys montrose#goldrose#joe goldberg#you netflix#jonathan moore#ed speleers#penn badgley#joe is insane#he’s gonna have the worst psychotic break of his life i promise#man’s gonna question everything#dudes gonna be spiralling for ages#he’s gonna be looking at the actual rhys like ‘dude wtf are you talking about you just this second fucking left wdym you missed me???’#‘WEVE LIVED TOGETHER FOR MONTHS WHAT DO YOU MEAN??????’#rhys would just be looking at him like ‘??? i’ve been following you since you left i haven’t been living with you’#joe and rhys end up going silent as joe finally realises he’s convinced himself rhys was actually there and fucking him#and that he was actually just getting his own rocks off while wishing rhys were doing it#joe are you queer by any chance?#just accept the fact you love rhys and we can move on okay bae#i think joe would probably get blackout drunk after that tbh#man wouldn’t be able to deal w it
10 notes
·
View notes
Note
When did you get into rvb and how?
I got into it around 2013 so I think when freelancer had just finished (according to my old amino account I had to check lol). I was in middle/elementary at the time so I had already known abt rooster teeth though stuff like achievement hunter but got super into them when the first season of rwby dropped.
I think I first just watched freelancer for Monty Oum’s animation (cuz I was too impatient for new rwby eps to come out lol) but didn’t end up watching the whole series until my rwby rp friends on virtual space amino invited me to a RvB rp so I finally just watched it from the beginning to learn the lore and ended up loving the show.
#that whole era was crazy#shout out to those who remember#looking back at amino kinda painful in a cringe way but it’s been long enough I’m mostly nostalgic for it#we were just paling around#I remember my OC was agent georgia who I thought hadn’t appeared on screen#but I was immediately jumped on cuz I had missed the whole jet pack lore with him 💀#rvb was a combination of every middle schoolers favorite things#violent video games edgy humor and themes that go over their heads#also cheaply produced YouTube videos that are surprisingly well executed#ah the stories I could tell about my days in the early rvb fandom#I just realized it’s been 10 years since I first watched it holy shit#ig that means I’ve rewatched it 10 times now#man I’m old#I don’t even know if I was on tumblr yet I think I didn’t make an acc till 2014#I’ll shut up now#rvb#asks#my asks#red vs blue#sorry for taking like 3 months to reply I only answer tumblr asks when I’m in an adhd spiral#im like a 40 year old man who comments his life story on a random YouTube video#except instead of my life story it’s extremely niche rants about early internet#and instead of a 40 year old man I’m a 19yr old girl on 100mg of adderall#rooster teeth#rwby
7 notes
·
View notes