#I’ve been pretty lucky
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As someone with a prohibitive phobia of needles, I’ve been wishing hyposprays were real for at least a decade
i wish the star trek medical instruments were real i would love to sit on a bed that shows my doctor how much pain im in and then they scan me with a little blinky device that makes a funny noise and know exactly whats wrong with me and then give me a pill that makes me regrow a kidney or whatever the fuck
#I *am* undergoing exposure therapy right now though! it’s going well„ though a bit slower than I’d like.#but it is going faster than I feared!#so that’s good.#I need a blood draw for blood testing in order to do HRT„ and needless to say this phobia has gotten in the way of vaccinations :(#I’ve been pretty lucky#but still. I… I should be out in the world more. I need to have a life again„ and this is the way to do it.
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hE FINALLY CAME HOMEEEE
#wound up w c6 yunjin & c3 yaoyao#i was so convinced i’d lose the 50/50 bc aside from pulling jean when i was pulling for childe ( whom i still don’t have </3 )#i’ve been pretty lucky#but finally !!#beloved is home and i’ve finished my anemo boy collection <3#( now i just need faruzan & sayu for my full anemo collection )#💭; star fragments
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y’all are never gonna see me recover from this actually
#I cannot believe I get to see Emily and Victor become retail animatronics this is so cool#I never really ramble about this interest publicly much but in recent years I’ve become a BIG fan of retail aninatronics#Which is of course most prominent for the Halloween Season#Maybe one or two Christmas ones but that’s if we’re lucky#I’ve been keeping track of all the big places animatronic teasers and gotta say#Looking pretty damn good this year#But the second I saw Spirit from the BOMB they’re making Victor and Emily animatronics#Omfg I lost it#I’m so excited to see them in store#If I wasn’t broke and more irresponsible with my money I would get them but it’s TWO animatronics so that’s gonna be a high price for sure#I just hope they’re in the ISE#I’m so excited to see them#corpse bride#spirit halloween#halloween animatronics#retail animatronics#Haunter community
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we’ve been given the go-ahead by @andpierres (our lovely zine host and mod!) to post our full pieces from the fall out boy seasons zine so here are the two i did! a flash sheet based on tttyg and a more illustrative piece based on pretty in punk from eowyg!
#fall out boy#seasons zine#take this to your grave#evening out with your girlfriend#tttyg#eowyg#zine piece#i was a lucky duck and got to do TWO!!!#thank you nico for taking the chance on me even tho i’d never been in a zine before!!#i learned a LOT during the process and this zine experience really helped kickstart me with the digital art learning curve#i mean!!! these pieces still mean a lot to me and i’m pretty proud of them!#but look how much i’ve improved since just last november!!!!#i hope everyone who pre/ordered the zine loved it as much as i do ❤️❤️❤️#and if you like these pieces and/or the works by the other artists in the zine#there are still copies available! run to nico’s blog and get a fababoi zine!
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if you’re bored and you’re struggling and you’re looking for something that might explain a little of it. please look up what a pda profile of autism is. please look up nervous system activation and what levelling behaviour is and why it’s a possibility but it could be what your eating disorder is. just trust me on this one, even if it isn’t you you’ll still learn something. you’ll learn something that can be a little help for yourself. trust me on this I promise we can get through this together
#one of the researchers on this I follow likes to say a telling sign is a teen who’s been dx with ‘everything under the sun’#so idk. idk if I need to specify the certain cluster of symptoms I’m thinking of bc it’s pretty broad and reminds me of. a lot of you fr#please also reach out to me but also look it up on your own bc I also happen to be sleepy and struggling but I DO want to talk abt it#neurodivergence#personal mental health tag#don’t know if I should put this in tags of different dx’s or nah tell me if it’s a hit and I should change the tags#ed mention#pda profile#fuck it I’m tagging#bpd#borderpolar#ocd#autism#adhd#personally I have like?? some of these things. not all rn. but I’ve also in some ways been very very lucky. and that also still wasn’t enou#so no one be a cop I guess but talk to me if I’m ever overstepping#also if anyone reads this and thinks I’m specifically referring to them. I don’t do that. this is a general observation
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I am generally speaking a winter holidays Enjoyer, but THE best part is the high you get when everyone at work goes berserk over the cookies you make, like that is IT
#I have to work Xmas eve and day and NYE and day this year#so I’m gonna Elf the fucking breakroom once the bldg manager leaves for the holiday#AND I’m trying to bring something yummy in all the days I’m working#I’ve been pretty lucky in avoiding working the holidays over the years so I might as well make it my entire personality this year#pers
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#my dream palettes/ favorite makeup haul ever 🤩#I’ve been wanting the first Sailor Moon palette for yeaaaars#I only use Colourpop eyeshadows/palettes since I discovered it (we don’t have it in France)#I wanted more vibrant/fun colors to experiment more with makeup#also I never tried blue/colder colors & I really want to try some looks with periwinkle and lilac so the second Sailor Moon palette was#perfect and it came in a bundle on sales on the website (still paid hefty taxes but still well worth it comparing to other brands)#Colourpop eyeshadows are much better than the high brands I used to use before#got some Supershock individuals too in less « safe colors like green & purple#and the Supershock highlighter in Lunch Money which is exactly what I’ve been searching for & the best highlighter I’ve ever tried#Americans are so lucky to have colourpop & for so cheap#the packaging of these palettes ahhhhh I feel like a little girl again#💫🌙#sailor moon#colourpop#makeup#haul#palettes#cute#adorable#collection#colorful#vibrant#pretty guardian#for love and justice#supershock#eyeshadows#ritz#ripple#rooftop cocktails#cosmetics
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You could post cute pics and get validation from strangers on the internet while you wait.
Fr tho I hope you're doing okay ❤️
What do you think I’ve been doing 😂😘
#haven’t posted in literal ages#and then I post multiple things in the past day or two l o l#your girl wants attention and validation all the damn time!!!#was trying to reblog old content but yall have seen that too much and don’t have the same reaction#I want your mouth to drop and you can’t help but drool from looking at me#that’s my goal 😇#but seriously I’ve been looking at a lot of my rosie content and deciding what’s good enough to post#looking for someone to go through all my content and tell me what are the true gems#so I can post those#it’s actually insane how much content I have#and most of it has never been seen before lol#have this school girl post I’m working on 😇#just working on the cute tags hehe#if you guys are ever bored and looking for something to do#give me attention#and praise#and worship me#pretty please 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺#on a real note I should be fine? I hope.#every day is different… today I’m doing my ehhh alright?#but I can’t complain cause some days I feel like death#I’m also lucky I have weed to use as my crutch#I’m just in between jobs right now cause I was trying to get into this dumb program#but now that I’m on a waitlist I’m gonna have to find some sort of income#I saved up some from my last job but that is slowly dwindling away#maybe I’ll do some sort of driving/delivery job#I’m just so sick of working when I know it doesn’t make a difference#I’m going to be poor and broke the rest of my life so who cares#welp getting sad and don’t wanna do thaaaaaat….. also running out of space lol. so gonna smoke the little weed I have left and ignore ignore#ask
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Tbh my life would be pretty perfect right now if my current part time janitoring job paid. Like. A livable wage. Genuinely love doing it, the hours are perfect, I like my coworkers (and don’t have to interact with them much which might contribute to that lol), it leaves me so much time and energy afterward to enjoy my day and live my life—
Except I’m still scraping the bottom of my savings to pay the Existing Fees. Not quite as fast, which is nice, definitely, but like. What if I wasn’t in the red and had this job I think is important and enjoy but also doesn’t consume 110% of my whole life. What then, huh? I might have a good time? I might actually have a chance of kicking my constant SI at some point? Can’t have that can we? Misery is the currency that runs the world isn’t it? Can’t have people having a good time. We might be better off as a society then and that’s not allowed obviously
#still a bit jet lagged so it’s 2 pm and I’m delirious but like#come on#come the fuck ON I could actually be HAPPY it’s like RIGHT there I can fucking see it#it’s just an entire decimal point away#and that might as well be the other side of the universe#ramblings#tbh this is the most optimistic and well-adjusted I’ve managed to be about my life in. well pretty much ever#I am happier than I was and you have no idea how amazing it is to wake up at 5 am and be like ‘alright! let’s get ready and go to work :)’#and have that be genuine!! not a forced smile hanging onto my last thinning thread! I’m#I walk to work and every day I think ‘it’s a beautiful morning’#and I come home and think ‘I’m tired but satisfied. let’s take a break and get some chores done’#and I’ve NEVER been that. idk. FUNCTIONAL in my life before#but this is unsustainable#bc I need to get a different job that pays enough at some point#or replace the time I have to maintain my home with another job#which I know would overtax me and make me miserable unless it was a /perfect/ fit as work for me#it’s not fair#it’s so STUPID#it’s just. INEFFICIENT#and I’m still fairly privileged and lucky#like. fuck. everything is just so fucked
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Looking at my followers list, Tumblr 100% is NOT notifying me every time I get a new follower right now. However, I’m also 90% sure that the ones it’s not notifying me about are brand new baby blogs.
I don’t like it, but I get that they probably don’t want people to immediately block newbies because they look like bots.
#bec posts#tumblr#now to ramble a bit#my number of followers LOOKS like a lot#it’s pretty good for tumblr#BUT#I’ve been on here for over a decade#tumblr used to be so much more active#fully 50% of those blogs are dead now#another 25% are probably newbies who either do not interact or only like posts#I love the other 25% of y’all but if I can get even a dozen notes on an original post these days I’m lucky#and it’s so so disheartening#please if you like something reblog freely and without inhibition#likes are for links to check out later and personal posts you shouldn’t reblog
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Me: I’m going to try to not look at any Totk fan art! Avoid as much as possible until I beat the game! Absolutely no spoilers of any kind!
Totk Fanart: how would you like dramatic ass pictures with dragons and swords?
Me: well shoot I would love dramatic ass pictures with dragons and swords so please give me more actually
#so I haven’t been scrolling though tags yet#i will say those most of my fy page is totk and I haven’t stopped looking through it#it’s just Zelda fan art ahhh#it’s always so fucking good#i can’t just block the tag it’s so pretty#besides I live with other people playing it rn and they’re all ahead of me so I’ve already gotten spoilers#this is just further in the game spoilers and slightly more cryptic in delivery#i love this game and the art and ahhh#to my buddy who follows me and blocked the Totk tag you’re lucky I haven’t started rb yet#totk#legend of zelda#legend of zelda tears of the kingdom
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going to local ER instead since I’m losing too much blood, way too fast! last week was bad but this is scary and I need to be monitored ASAP!
#I’ll be watching all of your recs when I’m there 🙏#I also have so many updates and posts that I haven’t felt the guts to ever say#I’m sorry I’ve been a bad mutual but I’ve been a bad friend to all the online friends and friends from my university#im lucky I live in a condo community w/ lots of extention of family + help! my coastal city - particularly our part of the city#in a particular building where we all meet up together in the front on weekends#even at my sickest - I’m still pretty involved since we see eachother physically & I love cooking + baking for everyone on a 2x monthly#and we all walk the dogs together every afternoon in our dog walking by the harbor group#even then these old people have me in a group text and drop flowers off for me and me for them#living in a community is so helpful but it open my eyes that I’m not even just sick or even a bad friend but those two factors strained#my online relationships bc the effort was so much behind the scenes w/ my health and even typing something out that it makes messaging or#even blogging but I’d like to change that bc I want to be more overt online#and I explain how that relates to Palestine and findinfing joy + $$$ in this end stage capitalist nightmare#I want to be better but I also want to show people the joys of my city (a literal hidden gem yet is a national park) and so between fusing#ideas of environmentalism - community out reach & even descalation of yt Supremacist mentalities when doing outreach + volunteer#even our coastal environmental causes to such great causes that help indigenous latinx members of our community in particular#their rights and their accomplishments in agriculture & how fruitful this place is#we have the best strawberries + berries since they are indigenous plants but anyways from environmentalism to damn farmers markets#I live in a slice of heaven so why leave to go to LA and NYC when I create such beautiful joy by the ocean every day#we have such incredible water views in our condo along with the stunning plain mountains framing the water and sea of palm trees#every sunset is like Santa Barbara (we close!) w/ pink/purple/orange skies that are so vibrant that they make you take pictures constantly#especially with the herons nested there w/ there babies - so close to#is that we watch them all day long + the other coastal birds#all this Shit is random but I realized that if I put my effort into a few things academically that I haven’t even shared in these tags -#that I can have an incredibly fulfilling life while sick as long it pays for itself and I think I can do it w/ a few different plans I’m#creating but I’m setting up a couple of businesss for passive income - go back to grad schooo but for medical research or political science#IR my old life of international relations and start publishing my research on Palestine and Jewish studies#I just need to publish either medical or political but if I do that - have my east businesses that not only highlight my life#but may help the people and animals of my city#but I feel the change finally coming and maybe it took something like this to wake me up#so many funny typos but this was just a quick way to explain that I need to be more comfortable on video + online w/ you all but on tiktok
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The worst thing about COVID + adhd + good old fashioned disordered eating is that I don’t think I’ve eaten an actual meal since Tuesday
#HUH#just realized this#bc I feel like I’ve been pretty lucky on actual symptoms#but for sure have had 0 appetite at all and I feel like I’ve just been a little less sharp/my brains less here#and that makes sense if I just. haven’t eaten enough. for most the week#I do actually currently feel hungry for the first time in days so I think that’s a good sign#personal#tw disordered eating
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wait you STUDY marine biology? i'm a biology student myself. we being bio buddies <3
eyyyyyyy bio buddies :D
#Tbh I’m pretty early on into my journey to becoming a marine biologist so I’m not the most knowledgeable yet haha#But I’ve been passionate about the ocean for a long time#And it’s pretty much always been my dream#I’m so lucky to have the opportunities I do#she speaks!!
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how am i supposed to find a place to live.. when i am so sleepy 😔
#i’m not sure i’ve got it in me boys and also i have to. find a job#i’m exhausted! also why are people so particular and weird in their requirements for flatmate#feeling pretty home sick now for the first time in my trip n would like a hug. from my mum#but i mean four months of solo travelling and only just getting home sick is pretty good but yeah it doesn’t help i’ve had two quite major#bad things happen while i’ve been over here within a month of each other#anyway tomorrow i’m going to fully assess what i should do today im sleeping i’m a lil hungover#i think i need 2 talk to my brother n friends n stuff#laura says some things#sorry ignore me feeling sorry for myself in the tags xxx obviously i am very lucky to even like. have this problem that i have the option#to move overseas etc
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um. still no midori anniversary card
#the lights turned rainbow and i audibly said ‘why’#at least it was chiaki..i’ve been pretty lucky with regular pool recently i got shinobu on friday and now chiaki#but midori. midori hates me rn
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