#I live in a slice of heaven so why leave to go to LA and NYC when I create such beautiful joy by the ocean every day

[nicejewishgirl]

going to local ER instead since I’m losing too much blood, way too fast! last week was bad but this is scary and I need to be monitored ASAP!

[jokerfan99]

My Top 10 Favorite Anime Heroines by DarkChild316

Being a hero isn’t easy, but someone’s gotta do it! And these ladies have shown to be just as capable as their male counterparts. Now I’ve already done a list showing everyone “My Top 10 Anime Villainesses”, but I figured: “Hey the good girls deserve some love too,” so I decided to give you guys my list of my Favorite Anime Heroines as well. So, with that in mind, here’s my list:

#10. Saeko Busujima (Highschool of the Dead): This is an anime that will give you plenty of two things in abundance…boobs and zombies! While it may seem like your run-of-the-mill apocalyptic fanservice anime, among the well-proportioned ladies is this kendo warrior who’s more than capable of holding her own against any foe and would fit right in with even the most old-school samurai-themed anime. When the dead start to walking most of the cast usually reach for a form of firearms, not this lady who prefers to slice apart the undead with the greatest of discipline and precision, whether it be with her signature bokken or her deadly Murata-tou sword. There’s no denying that Saeko’s the ideal companion we’d want on our side for a zombie apocalypse.

#9. Touka Kirishima (Tokyo Ghoul): Living as a ghoul isn’t easy, especially when you’re trying your damnest to retain what little remains of your humanity. Starting off as a cold, yet collected individual, Touka found shelter in both the horrors of her dark past and her constant hunger for flesh in her day job at a café as a waitress which serves other ghouls and as a hangout stop for ghouls. While she grew warmer as her relationship with one Ken Kaneki grew, she’s not without her bestial side, possessing an abject hatred for the CCG after they killed her parents. In a series where everyone seems to be on the edge of insanity and turning into a rampaging, bloodthirsty monster, Touka is one of the few characters genuinely fighting for a chance at a peaceful life.

#8. Riza Hawkeye (Fullmetal Alchemist): Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye is undoubtedly one of the best female anime characters of all time and for good reason, she is truly the perfect soldier. As both an Amestrian State Military’s officer as well as Colonel Roy Mustang’s bodyguard, Riza Hawkeye is a dangerous sharpshooter and firearms specialist. From the outside she can seem strict and even a little cold, but those close to her know that there’s much more to her than her strict no-nonsense attitude, including a courteous nature in the presence of her allies and a desire to protect those she holds dear. Beneath the strict persona is a kind soul who understands the difficulty of carrying a heavy burden and let’s not forget…she’s a true badass in every sense o the word!

#7. Erza Scarlett (Fairy Tail): She went from child slave to arguably one of the strongest mages in all of Fiore. All while battling against S-Class mages, terrifying demons, and even her own psychotic mother, now that’s dedication folks! Forced by her possessed childhood friend to build the Tower of Heaven, she manages to escape her captivity and make her way to Fairy Tail, where she would soon rise to become one of Fairy Tail’s youngest S-Class mages and one of the most truly badass fighters in Fairy Tail’s ranks. With her magical ability known as Re-Quip, she has an unlimited number of weapons and armors at her disposal, each possessing their own devastating abilities. She’s a stoic warrior with a soft heat and a dark past, and you can bet your ass that she’ll fight to defend her Nakama to the bitter end.

#6. Ryuko Matoi (Kill la Kill): Her choice of armor may be a bit on the revealing side but going against this rebel isn’t the smartest idea if you value your life. You’re not likely to find a more stubborn soul in this absolutely whacky series and trust me…NONE of these characters are on the subtle side of things. In search of her father’s killer, Ryuko takes up the sentient life-fiber uniform Senketsu, and openly battles the dictatorship that is the Student Council. Stubborn as hell, Ryuko will always stand up to anyone who gets in her way, no matter how badly the odds are stacked against her. How can you not love someone with that kind of drive!

#5. Saber (Fate/stay night): Before she became a hero in the endless Holy Grail Wars, Saber was actually Artoria Pendragon, known throughout history as King Arthur, the mythical King who united Britain. As the Saber-class servant, Artoria generally tries to hide her identity in battle by using an invisible sword. When pushed, she can brandish Excalibur instead though, a sword she wields with unmatched skill and can do long-range attacks as easily as close-range. With her holy sword, and her “Mana Burst” ability, she is one of the most powerful Servants. Saber is loved by fans worldwide for good reason: she is kind, valiant, and fierce, all traits that make for one divine heroine. None would mind putting the fate of the world in this blonde beauty's hands.

#4. Mikasa Ackerman (Attack on Titan): Attack on Titan's Mikasa is one of those reserved, stoic characters who doesn't speak very often and seems to be stuck in her own head. After all the trauma she’s experienced living under the looming terror of Titans and the carnage she witnessed while part of the Survey Corps, not to mention the brutal murder of her biological parents by criminals, it would be difficult to come out unscathed. Perhaps it’s endurance that is one of Mikasa’s most relatable traits. Despite her often-cynical comments about the world around her, she manages to retain her humanity. Mikasa herself said, “This world is cruel. And yet... so beautiful.” The stereotypical boy-saves-girl gender roles that play out in media are also very much reversed when it comes to her relationship with Eren, which is a refreshing and welcome change of pace to see, though her protectiveness of him seems a little unhealthy at times. On top of everything mentioned, she’s also totally ripped.

#3. Asuka Langley Soryu (Neon Genesis Evangelion): I just couldn’t leave out Neon Genesis Evangelion’s Asuka Langey Soryu from this list of awesome female protagonists. Asuka is a classic anime heroine and remains beloved by fans of the show to this day. Asuka is an American teenage girl who serves as an Eva pilot for the Evangelion Project and pilots the Evangelion Unit-02. Asuka was raised in Germany and often swears in German. She was a child prodigy with a college degree at only fourteen years old, but definitely has her human flaws. She has a temper and is obsessed with being the best at everything she does. Despite these flaws, Asuka is hilarious in her own way and has the kind of confidence and pride you rarely see in a young girl. She knows she can do her job well and isn't afraid to tell you about it. Asuka is relatable in that she is stubborn and often has a hard time properly expressing her feelings and vulnerability to others. Her eventual nervous breakdown shines a light on her humanity-- she is not a perfect person and she is still a child forced to do a job that no child should be forced to do.

#2. Motoko Kusanagi (Ghost in the Shell): Major Motoko Kusanagi is one of the primary protagonists of the popular Ghost in the Shell franchise of manga, films, and animated series. Motoko is a cyborg who works as a field commander for Public Security Section 9 on the Japanese National Public Safety Commission. Motoko is a very physically strong and incredibly intellectual who that is quick-witted and an excellent hacker. But put a firearm in her hand, and she’s especially deadly. As a child, Motoko was comatose following an airplane accident. After her health began to steadily decline, her consciousness was put into a  "full-body prosthesis,” an augmented-cybernetic human body. Motoko causes us to question exactly what makes us human. She is an emotional, stoic, strong woman who fights for the citizens she protects, yet she lives inside an artificial body. But her greatest use is as a platform to speak on the nature of humanity in a technological age. She's a human mind that has been stuck in an artificial body since childhood, and her life and trials bring up the age-old question, "What does it mean to be human?"

#1. Usagi Tsukino (Sailor Moon): You really can’t have a list of awesome female protagonists without including everyone’s favorite schoolgirl superhero: Usagi Tsukino from Sailor Moon. Usagi is the embodiment of an empowering female in anime in her fearless display of conventional femininity without any implied weakness. Usagi is your typical teenage girl who is all about her friends, food, and cute things, while simultaneously being a badass heroine who cleanses the streets of evil. In the original manga and anime, Usagi was portrayed as reluctant to be a superhero and would often run away from fights and be a crybaby. However, through her careful character development, Usagi becomes a brave, reliable, and confident person who cares deeply for her friends. She becomes a better version of herself without stereotypically “shedding” her girliness. Instead, her femininity becomes a defining feature of hers, deconstructing the idea that being girly makes you weak. On the contrary, Usagi’s girliness makes her funny, relatable, and a good role model for young girls. Usagi set the template for a generation of female heroines for generations to come, and it’s for that reason why she’s well-deserving of my #1 ranking on my list.

So that's my updated list, what did you guys think about it? Love it, hated it? Go on and tell me what you think and let me know who your favorite anime heroines are. See you soon!

Deviantart: https://www.deviantart.com/darkchild316

[extremelyblackandwhite]

i wanna know what love is - 07

Pairing: rockstar! sebastian stan x writer!reader

Warnings: fertility talk

A/N: sebastian is in his early 30′s in this fanfic, idk if i’ve ever mentioned it before but i felt i should say it so no one’s confused. let me know what you guys think, i love receiving your feedback always warms my heart listening to your opinions xx

Last Chapter // Next Chapter

Y/N woke up to a different yet pleasant environment. The bus had stopped and there were no bumps that could wake her up and the sun was shining into the bus and all she could hear were people on the outside laughing following for some movie. She raised her torso from the bed where she was covered by yellow papers and walked over to the window, pulling the curtains to come to sight with what she had heard and seen for years in pop culture. Las Vegas. 

The lights were off as it was daytime but she could see the grandeur of everything. Y/N had only been to Vegas when she was a young girl with her father who was accompanying her mother to a writing gig and stuff seemed to remain the same. 

Sebastian took zero time to wake up once he felt the bright light hit his eyes. No matter what people said, waking up sober to bright daylight was somehow worse than waking up hangover to bright daylight. He lifted his head to stare at what he thought was his brain playing tricks on him. Y/N was looking out the window, back turned to him in the shortest, tightest shorts that enhanced her backside. This had to be his mind playing tricks on him. 

    - We’re in Vegas. - she rushed to his side. - C’mon, we gotta go out.

   - No. You go out, I’m tired and too important. - he turned to the other side, grabbing her fluffy white to cover over his head and try to stop the light from hitting his face. Y/N however was determined to get him to wake up, after all the boys and Sherrie had left already so she had no one else to go with her and going out by herself sounded like trouble. Y/N pushed the cover off him and onto the floor. - Go piss off someone else. 

   - Put a shirt on and let’s go. - she crossed her arms, one foot on top of the covers so he couldn’t push it over himself again. Defeated, he lifted his torso, rubbing his face and eyes to stare at the woman in front of him. - C’mon, don’t you wanna see Sherrie before she goes back to her work place?

   - I already had sex with her and said goodbye. - he groaned, looking at her with hatred in his eyes. There was nothing he hated more than having his precious sleep interrupted. But yet again he was fighting Y/N over going outside and she really wanted to. - Go meet the boys at the venue, they’ll take you. 

  - I’ll pay for breakfast. - she said, poking his cheek with her baby pink painted nail. Sebastian could not refuse free breakfast, specially when he was in Vegas and everything was over the top. 

The rockstar got up from his bed, looking at the mess of yellow papers and polaroids. He didn’t exactly remember if they had finished compiling them but he sure hoped they had because there was no way it would be possible to organise everything once again. He heard her say thank you as he walked to his own room to get dressed.

Y/N on the other hand was jumping around in her room like a little kid, grabbing clothes out of her closet and deciding what to wear. She lived in New York most of the year so she normally had little to no summer clothes but she found a nice short white summer dress. She grabbed her bag to check if she had her wallet, fully knowing he’d only gotten the rockstar to wake up due to free breakfast, and walked outside her room to find him in his usual dark jeans and a white shirt, cap and sunglasses on. 

  - You do realise that wearing a cap and sunglasses doesn’t exactly count as a disguise, right? You still look like you do cocaine on Fridays. - she looked over everything on the kitchen to check if the guys had left the stove on, which wouldn’t be the first time. She swore that living in this bus was a constant “when will I die” contest. 

  - I don’t do cocaine, that’s for newbies. 

  - I’m sorry I don’t know what’s your favourite dying poison. 

  - Poison would kill you so why add dying before poison, that’s just redundant. You’re a writer you should know that. - he grinned, happy he had corrected miss perfect but instead of getting the sweet satisfaction of watching her explain herself in fluster, she just opened the door and started walking straight ahead. - Hey sweetheart, do you know where you’re going?

  - I’ll google it. - she kept walking like a child whose mother told them no candy at a shop isle. Sebastian smiled to himself and started walking behind her as she asked Siri what cafes were close by. She shifted to the left as they walked into the centre Vegas. 

Sebastian always hated Vegas, it was loud and showy. He had enough to entertain himself with in the city but if he was asked to do a forever tour in one of the casinos that would be a no for him. The only good thing about the Vegas stops in all of his tours were that his bandmates wives would come to visit them so everyone would be off his back. Besides, the other good thing was that Sherrie would finally be off his back to go back to her job at the Hard Rock cafe. He wasn’t a fan of having the same girl next to him for longer than a week. 

He was so lost in thoughts that he didn’t notice the young writer stop in front of a smallish cafe. Once she stopped, he woke from his thought filled mind and looked at the building in front of him. It was small, homey, not like his style but he guessed there was a smaller chance of people noticing him. She leaned against the door, opening it and making the bell sound calling for the attention of some of the customers who had disgusted looks on their faces. Y/N gave them a shy smile, once again feeling embarrassed by the fact that she had interrupted someone’s meal. However, Sebastian was having none of that.

 - Isn’t this a lovely cafe, honey? - he wrapped his arm around her, gaining a confused look from her. - Sorry fellas, we’re a bit late in our honeymoon schedule, late for breakfast.

A bunch of the people who had given her dirty looks, immediately started to apologise making Sebastian grin to himself. There was something he knew for sure and it was that people loved not to stop a newly wed couples plan with their dirty looks, besides, if someone was gonna berate her for going for breakfast at 11 AM it would be him, not a bunch of lazy people. 

They got into a table by the window and Y/N took one of the laminated menus, her hair falling in front of her face as she studied what she could have for food. Sebastian found himself looking at her, the way her face twitched every time she saw something she didn’t like.

 - I found a typo. - she said, a huge smile in her face. - They wrote ceasar salad instead of caesar salad. 

 - You’re such a nerd. - he rolled his eyes, a small smile on his face as he returned to pick what to have for breakfast. An old lady reached their table, holding a small waitress pad. 

 - You two are such a beautiful couple, how long have you known each other.

 - We are ... - Y/N was about to come clean, she hated lying, but Sebastian was having the time of his life making people fell bad about giving them dirty looks, so he was not ready to let this go.

 - Five wonderful years, isn’t it so babe? - he reached his hand to touch hers but she still gave him the “touch me again, you’re dead” look. - Gotta enjoy our honeymoon before we start trying for a little one.

 - What can I get you two, sweethearts? - she asked and Y/N smiled at the mention of finally getting some food.

 - I’ll get a full English and Buck’s Fizz, thank you. - Sebastian handed her the menu as Y/N finished looking at the menu.

 - I’d like some Eggs Benedict with a Diet coke, please. - she handed her the menu too, putting her hands on top of her lap. The old woman gave her a puzzling look. - Is there something wrong?

 - Soda is not good if you’re trying for a little one. - she said making Y/N immediately shot a look that only translated into his death sentence.

 - You heard her babe, better not have that diet coke. - he tapped her hand, trying not to burst out laughing at the devastated look the writer had in her face. 

 - Freshly squeezed orange and grapefruit juice is better for fertility, sweetheart. I’ll add that to your order. - the old woman turned and walked back to the kitchen leaving Y/N to cross her arms at Sebastian who was wheezing in silence at her face. 

 - Damn daddy, I sure hope that juice makes me magically pregnant. - she mocked him, looking at the table next to her being served the nicest coldest glass of Diet Coke. Sebastian, on the other hand, grew flustered at her words, looking out into the window. - I can’t believe they would believe I would marry you, much less try for a baby.

 - Look, there is a lower chance of people thinking I’m me if we keep pretending we’re married and trying for a baby. 

 - That makes no sense. Besides, I’d rather die slowly than have to carry your offspring. - she mumbled as the lady came back with a tray containing their order and lacking her beloved Diet Coke. Y/N adored Diet Coke which was a controversial choice but back in university she used to down two cans of it per day while revising in the library. Cut to present day and she still enjoys a nice cold glass of Diet Coke with a slice of lemon. Instead, replacing heaven in a bottle, stood the freshly squeezed orange and grapefruit juice. She didn’t even like grapefruit, it was too sour for her. 

She placed the metal tray on the table, placing Sebastian’s order in front of him and Y/N’s in front of hers along with a bowl of wild berries. She looked up to the old woman, quizzing if she had ordered it or if it was a mistake.

   - Berries are good for the baby, sweetheart. It’s on the house. - she gave them a kind smile and left them to their food. Y/N shrugged, a gut feeling of guilt but yet again she loved berries and free berries sounded good to her.

  - So ... - she burst her egg yolks using her fork, her question stuck in her head and failing to come out. She didn’t want him to get annoyed at her, not when they had spent more than an hour without bickering. - Do you wanna get married and have kids? 

  - Too late for that. - he chuckled but it wasn’t his normal chuckle, it wasn’t that chuckle she had gotten used to.

  - You’re in your early 30′s, Sebastian. Besides, men are technically fertile until the end of their lives. 

  - Men like me don’t get married, we continue our life until no girl wants to lay down with us and then we disappear into oblivion. 

  - Is that what you want? Oblivion? - she questioned, one of her eyebrows raised at his comment. 

  - It’s not about what I want anymore. What about you, kids and engagement in the cards for you?

  - I used to want it but I don’t know. I don’t know if I want to get married if love is something that’s not everlasting. Besides, I do have to work. - she gave him that sweet smile of hers. - Why are you leaving the band? For real, why don’t you wanna be part of it anymore?

  - Just felt like it. 

  - You know, I don’t believe you’re a “just felt like it” type of guy so you gotta lie better to me. 

  - Anyhow, we’re moving into a hotel for the rest of the week so I won’t be annoying you during the nights anymore. 

[xxsovereignsarayaxx]

Supernatural - Road to Revenge Chapter 4

Authors Note: Here is chapter 4! Hope everyone is well. Thank you to all for the likes and re-blogs. If anyone wants to be tagged in the upcoming chapters please send me an ask. Bit more drama to be added to the plot. Word Count: 2934 Warnings: There is some angst in this one. Character death.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

My heart had just shattered into pieces.

Nia was dead…

I had seen plenty of bodies in my lifetime but with this being Nia’s body and not just some stranger. It was different. It was a member of my family so now it was personal. 

Her body was tied to a chair, the rope that once bound her was drenched with her blood. Whatever blood was still in her body still slowly dripped onto the floor. Her head tilted backwards - lifeless. Her eyes had rolled and dry tears and what makeup was left stained her once perfect features. Nia’s long black hair was matted and messy. I noticed her top had been cut, pulling the knife I had in my boot. I used it to carefully peel the blood soaked garment away for a closer inspection, the new anti-possession tattoo she had gotten a mere few hours before, the tattoo that was meant to keep her safe had a large gash breaking it. And just like a devil's trap or salt circle once it was broken you were no longer protected. 

I felt something wet on my face. I was crying. I didn’t cry. I was never allowed to. But suddenly I just collapsed to the ground, the knife that was once in my hand clattered to the floor. The last and only normal part of my life had been taken away from me. I curled up into a ball on the floor. I felt weak, powerless and vulnerable. 

Was she in Heaven? Was she in Hell? 

As I laid there on the floor. I remembered...

Weaknesses are not tolerated. Failure is not an option.

My training started when I was five years old, I was taught how to dismantle and reassemble a handgun, then shoot it with precision by seven my marksmanship was the top of its game. I even rivalled some of the adults. At eight I had to prove that I was the top of my class, my opponent  and other classmates finally understood why you never brought a knife to a gunfight. I was being trained into the perfect killing machine, they were lucky I was a blank slate when I arrived. When my fourteenth birthday came I was sent out in the field, it was also the day I escaped from the clutches of my handler.

“Nicole, step forward.”  

I did as I was asked and stepped forward, there was a line of us eight of us to be exact both male and female. All dressed in black, our hair was neat and tidy and the same solemn expression littered each individual face except for one.

“Maxwell, step forward.”

The boy froze in his place. 

“Maxwell, step forward. You know the rules if your name is called out you step forward.” The voice said again this time firmer with more authority.

The boy finally stepped forward and the rest of the line was dismissed, they dispersed quickly and quietly hardly making a sound.

“One of you is ready to graduate. But you must prove your worth. You must prove to ‘The Men of Letters’ that you are ready.” 

With that we were left on our own. We knew that only one would leave the room - That person would be me.

“Nicole… We don’t have to do this.” Maxwell whimpered, his eyes searching for a shred of hope.

“This is what they have trained us for.” I said bluntly looking at the few weapons that were left on a nearby table.

“But…”

“Maxwell you are weak. And weaknesses will not be tolerated!” I shouted as I picked up a throwing knife and launched it at him. I missed by an inch.

“You were chosen because you needed to be dealt with. Failure is not an option, you have failed the Men of Letters because you are weak.” I stated as I cornered him.

And right before I had him pinned up against a wall…

I shot back up but this time I wasn’t alone Dean had me cradled in his arms. I then broke down, tears streamed down my face once more, I buried myself in his jacket. From that moment the remnants of the person I used to be, came flooding back. I will hunt down this demon and nobody is going to stop me.

 “Nikki I’m so sorry.” Dean said, trying to shush me to try and calm me down.

“I need...I need to put her to rest.” I muttered trying to get out of Dean’s embrace. He wouldn't let me go at first.

Escaping Dean’s iron hold I clambered back up to my feet, bending down to pick up the knife. The silver blade being a welcomed cold feeling on my palms as I tightened my grip. Carefully making my way to Nia’s body I sliced through the blood soaked ropes. 

“I know she wasn’t a hunter but I think a hunter's funeral would be best.” Dean said softly. 

I nodded, finally through all of the ropes that held Nia. I closed her eyes and Dean walked over and carefully picked her up.  

“Please be careful with her.” I whispered. 

Dean never uttered a word but simply nodded. As he held Nia close to his chest, not caring that her blood stained his clothes, we made our way through the empty bar and back to the impala, opening the back seat door Dean slid Nia’s body onto the smooth yet worn leather. We drove towards the Las Vegas Ranger District as that was the closest place to give Nia a proper hunters funeral. The drive was silent, nothing but the odd glance at one another. By early morning we arrived, Dean immediately got out of the car and got the axe that lived in the trunk. I still sat in the car keeping Nia company, I turned to look at her.

“Ni, I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you. I’m sorry that I haven’t been there for you when you needed me, I’m sorry I have been a crappy sister. But I promise you that I will find the bastard that did this to you and I will make them pay. I hope wherever you are, you’re happy and at peace.” I whispered to her, reaching out to hold her cold and lifeless hand one last time. 

Once Dean had cut down enough trees to make a base, he offered to get Nia out of the car but I declined, I had to be the one to do this. I opened that car door and picked up my sister. Even though she was slightly taller than me I was still able to lift her. I put her on a white sheet that Dean got out of the trunk and placed on the floor. Smoothing out her hair, I kissed my fore and middle fingers and planted them on her forehead.

“Sweet dreams sis.” I said softly and wrapped her up tying the sheet where necessary. 

I carried Nia to the base, I struggled to place her down and Dean with an act of kindness aided me, he didn’t take over he just helped and I was thankful for it. He then took a step back as I doused Nia’s body with salt and the gasoline. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a silver zippo style lighter - it was Nia’s lighter, the one I had bought for her on her birthday when she turned 21. I had it engraved with the words. ‘Smoking is bad for you. You're a pain in the ass. Try not to lick anymore window glass.’ I took the lighter. It seemed fitting to do it with this. As I flicked the lighter a flame appeared. I watched the mix of blue and amber dance together. 

“I promise I will avenge you Ni…” And with that I threw the lighter onto the wood and flames roared to life as they ate up her body. 

Dean pulled me close, both of our eyes were red…

“Has your past got something to do with Nia’s death?” Dean asked me to break the silence.

“Yes…”

We stayed with Nia for a good twenty minutes and then headed back to the car. My walking pace was faster than Deans.

“Actaeon as in the wind, we need to rethink how we are going to do this.” Dean suggested softly. 

“How I’m going to rethink this.” I said stopping and turning to face him.  

“Nik, you can’t do this one alone.” Dean replied, coming to a halt.

I shrugged my shoulders. “I can’t do this alone? You should know me better than anyone Dean, that if I’m told I can’t do something I will do the opposite.” I argued raising my voice.

“You’ll get yourself killed!” Dean snapped.

“Then so be it! I just had the last shred of normality ripped away from me.” I shouted back.

“You want to end up like Nia? You want it to be where it’s me and Sam burning your body? Is this what you're aiming for? You are the best thing that happened to me Nikki and I’m going to bloody make sure you're still around. If Nia’s death is connected to your past then you need to fill me in. Even if it's just the basics.” 

“You know the basics Dean. I was in a foster home when I was fourteen, I met you and Sam a couple years later.” I replied bringing my tone of voice back to its softer tone of voice.

“Why were you in that foster home though?” 

“Because I ran away from what I thought was my home. Because I wanted no connection with my past and coming to America was the best way to do that. Because I wanted to forget what I was being turned into, but when it’s drilled into you 24/7 for almost a decade you don’t know any different!” I ranted.

Every time I spoke Dean inched closer to me and by the time I had finished speaking we were face to face, I had told him too much. I let my emotions get the better of me. He pulled me closer and kissed me hard but full of love and passion, he held my face in his hands. But while he was doing that I had another idea in mind, I reached into my jacket pocket and held onto a set of handcuffs that I shoved in there earlier, and with a grip on the metal restraint I slowly pulled them out quietly so I wouldn’t be caught.  

“I am so sorry.” I whispered as I pulled away from Dean. 

I quickly attached one cuff to his wrist, maneuvering around so I stood behind him. I grabbed his other hand and cuffed that one as well. A look of disbelief was plastered over Dean's face. 

“Nik? What are you doing?” He asked cautiously, spinning back around to face me.

“I have to find him D…I have to send that son of a bitch to rot back in hell. He killed my sister…” I replied with tears falling down my features once more. I cried more times today then I had ever done in the past. 

“Revenge is a dangerous road to go down. You told me that.” Dean pleaded. 

“I don’t want you to see the things I’m going to do.” I said plainly. 

“Please when this is over I hope you forgive me.” I added and punched him in the face with such force I knocked him clean out. 

As Dean fell backwards I fished my phone from my pocket. Dialling Crowley’s number he picked immediately.

“Fawn pleasant surprise.”

“Where can I find him?” I asked, looking back over my shoulder still seeing Dean passed out. 

“Like I said you don’t find Actaeon.”

“Then point me in the right direction Crowley…” I snapped.

“Fine, fine.” 

The phone line went dead but however he appeared at my side. Peering over my shoulder he saw Dean still unconscious; he pulled a sarcastic face. 

“Dean will wake up with a headache and nothing more.” I told him.

“If you say so.” 

“Anyway, so like I have mentioned time and time again, you don’t find Actaeon. But I can point you in the right direction. Head over to this address. You're looking for a sweet thing called Kandy. And by sweet I mean fickle and conniving."

“So just normal demon behaviour? So this Kandy she works for Actaeon?” I replied sarcastically raising an eyebrow.

“Your reputation precedes you Miss Callahan…”

“Nobody calls me that now…”

“You really think a change in last name and moving to another country would keep you safe?” Crowley asked.

“It worked well so far…”

“Do Moose and Squirrel know of your past?” 

“No and it stays that way. Do you hear me?” I almost shouted back.

Crowley put both of his hands up in surrender. “Alright Fawn I won’t say a word.”  

Still holding my phone I threw it on the ground making sure it smashed in the process, I couldn't have Sam nor Dean track me. This would be my fight. Satisfied that my phone no longer worked I walked over to Baby knowing that putting a knife in her tires would definitely end my relationship with the unconscious hunter so instead I took the dust caps off letting the air out. I needed that small head start before Dean came around. I took off the two thigh holsters and left one of my weapons on the ground near the impala. I wanted to use it as a sign to Dean that I would come back.

I turned to Crowley. “Let’s go.” Holding one of my guns, sliding out the magazine and checking the chamber, and then tucking it into the waistband of my jeans hiding it with my jacket.

Crowley got me to where I needed to be, Omaha Nebraska to be exact. I was currently looking at this small bar located down this alleyway, standing in a small puddle I turned to look at Crowley. “This is where this Kandy is?” I asked.

“Correct Fawn, this is the end of the line in where I shall be assisting you. Good luck.”

“I know you didn’t have to help me, but thank you.” I replied.

Holding my head high I entered the small bar, this time there were actual people inside which was a good sign, as I approached the counter I took note of the bartender cleaning glasses. She was around 5ft5, bubblegum pink hair with bright blue eyes. Her makeup was full and her false eyelashes were one of the most standout features, she stood out. “Hi Sugar, what can I get you.” She asked in a southern accent.

“Whiskey neat please.”   

The bartender picked up a clean glass and put it on the counter bending down to get a bottle of whiskey and poured a generous helping into the glass. She nudged it forward. Taking the glass I brought it to my lips and took a sip, pausing for a moment appreciating the taste I placed it back onto the counter. 

“What’s a sweet thing like you doing in a place like this?” The bartender asked me in her southern drawl.

“Could ask you the same question?” I countered.

“Well I work here sugar. What's your excuse?” 

I took another sip of my drink enjoying the burn. “I’m looking for someone.”

“I make it my business to know everything and everyone about this city.” 

“Do you know where I can find someone called Kandy?” I asked tracing the rim of the glass with my finger.

“Well you're looking at her. Now are you a friendly hunter or do I need to get my friends over there involved?” She asked pointing to some of the bar patrons as her eyes flickered to black and then back to the radiant blue.

I turned to look over my shoulder seeing the potential demons by the door.

“If you don’t give me a reason to shoot you then I’m a friendly hunter I shall be.” I replied, flashing her a smile. 

“I���m told you work for Actaeon, do you know where I can find him?”

Kandy let out a chuckle and leaned towards me. “I sure do. But why would I go against him? I mean Actaeon keeps me safe from the likes of your kind.”

“You know how I said before that I wouldn’t shoot you, you're now starting to give me a reason to.” I told the pink hair demon giving her a wink. 

I downed the rest of my drink and slammed it on the counter. “Unless you want a bullet in between your eyes. I know, I know it won’t kill you but I’m pretty sure I can get hold of an angel blade that will. Actaeon may have protected you from other hunters but he won’t be able to keep you safe from me…” I added in a sickly sweet voice. 

“And there is the person that I’ve heard so much about.” Kandy said with a chuckle.

After that moment a bag covered my head and I was restrained. I struggled in the grip that held onto my tight. Kicking my legs trying in any attempt to break free from my captors. “Let me go!” I attempted in a muffled shout. As I was moved into another part of the bar I was forced into a seated position, I then had my arms tied behind my back to the back of the chair. 

“Well, well, well” Said an unknown male voice. 

[toddlazarski]

The Best Bites of 2019

Shepherd Express

2019. The year before, hopefully. The prologue to 2020’s change, maybe. God or Kali or whomever you wish to charge with these sorts of responsibilities, willing. The end of the beginning of the end of discord, the endless fire, the storms and dread, the corruption of soul we’ve all learned to live with over the past few years that feel like a lifetime.

In Milwaukee, 2019 was the year we were rewarded the Democratic National Convention, and the year we immediately tried to grapple with how we would handle hosting the Democratic National Convention. It was the year, as if we were Austin, as if we were Portland, as if we were ourselves a plucky place of progressivism and forward-thinking, our very own food truck park opened. And, at the same time, it was the year it became impossible to log onto any social media without being inundated by hems and haws and shouting-at-cloud mewls that the city suddenly had legal electric scooters on the street. It was the year Syrian civil war refugees opened a Mitchell Street gem of kefta and baba ghanoush and good nature at the most destination-worthy restaurant in town. And it was the year a racially-charged acid attack occurred against a Latino man entering a southside taqueria. It was the year Sherman Phoenix rose, literally, out of the ashes of the 2016 Sherman Park riots. An opening that barely preceded Milwaukee becoming the first city to name racism a public health crisis.        

For me, calorically, it was also a calendar stretch of one step up and one back. It was a time of too many fancy burgers, of swearing off fancy burgers, and then reading about The Diplomat’s Diplomac, and then the Birch & Butcher happy hour special, and then the other one with the ampersand (Glass & Griddle). It was the time of swearing off meat entirely, tempering that to limiting meat, trying to go “Impossible” meat, then realizing my daughter had never been to Sobelman’s. A frigid Monday, empty dining room, impossibly cheery waitress and a jalapeno and three cheese-smashed double patty was all that it took to fall back off the wagon. Or is it on the wagon? Either way, it was also the summer that felt like I spent half of, at least, inside a car with intermittently functioning AC, pit-sweating, contemplating which tiny to-go plastic container of bright green or dark red or burnt orange sauce to douse on yet another pastor taco. I ate at every taco truck in the city in ‘19, or tried, or got close, maybe. Out of curiosity. Out of assignment. But as much so out of moral obligation, as some kind of personal corrector to the current tenor of division, of strife, of unease. And as a reminder of comfort, of the spicy, dangerous, gaseous whiff of hope.  

Here are some of the other ways I’ll remember ‘19.    

13. Italian Beef - Rosati’s

I grew up in the hyper-regionally-specific sandwich heaven of Buffalo, NY. There a “beef on weck” order from near any corner bar or grocer or butcher will yield a horseradish-spiked roast beef stack piled within a crusty German baker concoction known as a kimmelweck—a roll topped with caraway seeds and coarse salt grains of the likes you might use on your sidewalk in February. Whether it’s a little bit drippy or dry, it will likely singe sinuses, bloviate with beefiness, finish with unnecessary and addictively enjoyable sodium-ness. Everywhere that isn’t there, you can find Western New York ex-pats gathered in some corner of some bar, Bills hatted, commiserating, whispering of favorites from places with foreign-sounding names like Schwabl’s, bemoaning the wonder of why it’s so hard. But there’s a difference between hard and unknown. 

Here, Chicago’s Italian beef is another simple, but under-served regional sandwich delicacy. Offering even an apt representation of the au-jus-dripping bombs that can be found on every other corner in our big city neighbor to the south would be itself somehow singular. Rosati’s is a Chicago chain that serves just such a purpose. 

Of course, aesthetically or on paper, there’s not much list-worthy about a soaked Italian hoagie roll, barely holding it’s earthy contents, leaking greasy debris all over wax paper like it was an old Saab who’s main attribute was character. But then you get closer: it’s a living sandwich form of a closeup on an Arby’s commercial, with infinite folds of beef wedged like an overfull linen closet, so bursting with folded towels you’re afraid to open the door. The thin rug of plasticky, half-melted mozz is optional. Though the glossy, shimmering hot giardiniera should be mandatory, with its oil-slickening and bright, peppy pickled punch.   

But this is still a package of lizard brain enjoyment, of Ditka-esque machismo, with an essence and soul that is all two-fisted, garclicky pigout. It’s the perfect brown meal when you’ve had too many, when it’s too cold, when football is on, when it is followed by a slice of either thin or deep dish—both also apt Chicago representations here. Enjoy life and don’t be ashamed. You can love an Italian beef and still, later, after you swallow, sing along to “the Bears still suck.” 

12. Sloppy Johnny - Boo Boo’s

A 6-buck price tag and a name that harkens cafeteria appetites and Adam Sandler jams doesn’t really inspire notions of much other than a nostalgic budget lunch.    

But then you see one on the table in front of you, alongside the inspired rotating roster of obscure hot sauce bottles, and ideally next to a steaming bowl of creamy onion-cheddar soup. The sandwich, which derives from a New York City bodega specialty known as a chopped cheese, comes in a fresh-baked, beautiful baguette—crusty outside, pillowy inside—which houses barely visible meat, all the scrags seductively tucked under blankety rivulets of piping white cheddar and pickled peppers and rumors of mushrooms. While I used to come to this address for whiz-spattered ribeye, the Johnny is a bit perplexing in its polish. It is fat guy food all cleaned up, as button-down and put-together a presentation of chopped beef indulgence as might exist in town. 

Giving the flat-topped package a second to cool off is the only challenge. Along with the lack of alcohol to wash it down, or assuage said wait. But there seems to be no other shortcomings to the lunch, or anything about the quirky, aggressively friendly spot that replaced and immediately made us all forget the Walker’s Point Philly Way. The sister biz of nextdoor Soup Brothers, Boo Boo’s shows the Milwaukee Soup Nazi’s comfort food flavor rigor and peculiar touch extends neatly to the realm of sandwiches. 

11. Carbonara - Zarletti

It’s hard to balance summer in Milwaukee. There’s an at-once need to makeup for six months of living in a place where it hurts your lungs to breath natural air with an overwhelming roster of stuff to do. Of stuff to do outside. One solution might be doing something of calendar noteworthiness with a level of relaxed removal. For me I’ve found an annual tradition of attending Bastille Days’ nighttime 5K. Yet instead of stretching and putting on too-short shorts, I park myself at a table on Milwaukee Street, sip a Negroni, spoon roasted lamb and perperonata onto charry bread, and await a big, hearty pasta while watching the more ambitious sweatily charge toward a finish line and away from their true appetites.  

Zarletti’s sidewalk cafe on a summer night can feel very European, very sophisticated, well-heeled. But the carbonara is at it’s core quite basic. Yes, it is the embodiment of those aspects of Roman food anyone recently back from the Old Country will annoy listeners with: simplicity, freshness. Egg, Pecorino Romano, garlic, onion. Here too there is a vomitorium-like abundance of sauteed pancetta. And a reminder of how that perfect deep bowl of al dente can somehow hit all the comfort points of all the different life epochs: childhood mac n’ cheesiness, first apartment spaghetti nights, that trip to Italy. And now, in the night’s growing darkness and fanfare, it’s a special new tradition to feel apart from the race, and part of a different one—finishing every last salty morsel of piggy meat before my stomach says to stop.

10. Tacos de carbon, desebrada, chorizo, pescado - El Tsunami

I’m not entirely sure the silky, sour creamy, Serrano-based light green emulsified salsa found about so many southside taquerias is homemade—such is the ubiquity. And, at this point in our relationship, I’ve gone too far to ask. So, I will continue to happily, ignorantly, scoop and spurt over every possible meatstuff served between National and the Airport, from 35th to the Lake.  

Of these, the fare at El Tsunami holds a special sort of siren song sway, pulling me past La Canoa, away from my beloved Chicken Palace. In fact, of the two locations of Tsunami, this is the one without alcohol. And the fact it is still somehow preferred should be all the endorsement necessary. The petite counter-focused diner always feels like a happier, spicier Edward Hopper vision, especially with snow falling and cozy smoke plumes billowing about from the flattop that seems to be always full of approaching-happy meat. 

In taco form, an order of carbon yields smoky, charcoal-forward, tiny-diced and juice-spurting nodules. The desebrada is a chocolatey, shreddy deep-stewed beef, with the depth and earthiness of the kind of thing grandma might cook when it’s cold out, when she hasn’t seen you in a while, when she got up real early, even by her standards, to start. The chorizo balances salty, greasy, satisfying pork bombast with foodie subtlety—what is that? Cinnamon? The pescado makes fish fries seem benign, lacking abundantly in tortillas and salsa. 

There are other routes—the diablo sauce, a color only seen in dangerously fast and tiny sports cars, is a special coat for any fish dish. But it is the tacos, cilantro-y and satisfying, that remain the supreme vessel for green salsa dousing. And, either way, I’m leaving with some to go: a few containers of verde, just enough to carry a little Tsunami with me back home, to the fridge, enough to pull me through the far too many non-taqueria meals of life. 

9. Any pizza - San Giorgio

Maybe it’s because I’m not a car guy, and get no thrill from “peeking under the hood,” and not enough of a cook to have much interest in “seeing how the sausage is made,” but I’ve never cared a great deal about the concept of “open kitchen.” They wear aprons, can handle industrial-grade pans, are comfortable working close to a flame—I get it.   

But then I found myself for the first time at San Giorgio’s “pizza bar,” contemplating how beautiful a concept, how perfect a term, when I heard one pizzaiolo, upset about peel placement or arugula quantity or something or another say to the other, “I’ll kill you.” Huh, I thought. They really care. 

While few inside the scene seem to put any stock in the VPN certification (the official delegation delineating true Neopolitan style pizza, regulating everything from oven type, to temp, to how much your dough balls must weigh—yes, it’s a bit ridiculous, and, yes, it’s a cost), all aspects of the pizza pedigree of San Giorgio show just such immense, aggressive, sure, threatening, pursuit of craft. In the Sopranos sense of the word, all ingredients, all dishes, seem to be worthy of respect. 

Try the Quattro Formaggi, a delightfully oily meld of mozz, provola, fontina, and gorgonzola. Or the San Giorgio, bright with arugula and fennel, salty with crispy pancetta, topped, almost unnecessarily, somehow cohesively, with a sunny side egg. Pay plenty of appropriate focus on anything featuring San Marzano tomato carnage. As a gravy it goes well with anything from basil to spicy soppersata. As Instagrammable goopage, it is bright and popping, with no need of a filter, reminiscent of all things you picture of Italy in your mind.   

It all still ties back to the beating heart. And by that, I mean the 900 degree Stefano Ferraro oven, hand-crafted, of course, in Italy. It is a muscular, room-dominating hulk, a ravishing blue-tiled beauty, fire-kissing, turning doughiness halfway to toast, letting the Maillard Effect do its enzyme action work, warming, blackening, making a messy marriage of tomato and cheese. Airy corpuscles form around the crust edge, yielding heartening bites of carb char. It is quick cooking, piping hot delivery for all satisfaction points. What pizza was for us as children, pizza can be for us again, here, downtown on a classy wine-soaked date night or pre-Giannis show.  

On subsequent visits I’ve found myself, while pulling away the first slice, lifting the edge and checking  the undercarriage to admire the cooking and note the sweet char. Each pizza pattern is unique from the last, like the spots on a Jaguar. So, maybe I am into looking under the hood afterall.   

 8. Burger - Foxfire

The last thing anyone needs from the internet is another burger list. Or even a list with burgers on them, ranked, in some kind of personal application of rules and regulations that strives toward objectivity, scientific method, a justification of juiciness pontificating. 

Yet, in 2019 arriving on a listicle is the only validation. And the burger at Foxfire, served Thursday’s out of the back of Hawthorne Coffee, deserves to make listicles that aren’t even covering burgers. So, while Palomino griddles the best sit-down double-digit-dollar burger in town, and Kopp’s remains the heavyweight of gluttonous eat-in-your-car, American Graffitti old-school comfort and mouthfeel joy, Foxfire strikes the perfect balance between craft and simple. The double patty package is reasonably affordable, is cooked basically to temp, is coated with unfussy American cheese. But the availability is limited, enticingly so. It is topped with only pickle and onion. But the counter is suggestively stacked with esoteric hot sauces. It is what to have for workday lunch, generally, in a coffee shop. But the meat crust and luscious give are worthy of foodie discourse, elevated terms like elevated. The duality in a microcosm: the fries here are reminiscent of the stringy, crispy spuds found at McDonald’s; but they can be topped with little-seen Aleppo pepper.    

My grandfather used to say that it is impossible to declare a “best,” that such distinction has to be qualified. He lived in the innocent era before internet lists. And, unfortunately, before being able to try the burger at Foxfire.  

7. Chicken 65 and Garlic Naan - Cafe India

My wife often jokes that I only want to eat food in taco form. And they say all good jokes are based in truth. So it came in handy that my natural instinct for bread-as-vessel kicked in when, aggressively, irresponsibly, I ordered my Chicken 65 “extra hot” at the Bay View Cafe India. Within two fork bites it became clear something, anything, more than water, was needed to extinguish, to buffer, to assuage boiling buds. Garlic naan was handy, was originally used like a starchy tongue sponge, and then, somehow inspired, I packaged all subsequent chicken bites within the cozy, garlicky, craggy confines of the bendable bread. Thus my version of Indian tacos was born. Built out of necessity, maintained out of deliciousness.   

The Chicken 65 has long been my Indian deep-menu go-to. Huge-bite, deep-fried chunks of tender boneless chicken, bathing in fiery, oily, red-orange stew chocked with hunks of pepper and onion and curry leaf. With its shimmering finish and intense afterburn, it’s a dish that often feels like a turmeric-laced Southern Indian version of Nashville chicken. 

Apparently nobody really knows where the dish name came from—some claim the number just refers to the birth year. Others, to either the number of chile peppers or the number of pieces of chicken. It doesn’t matter, historians likely have just had too difficult a time stopping eating, or slurping water, or fanning the mouth. But now at least we all have documentation of the dawn of the Chicken 65 taco.   

6. Chicken Shawarma, Kufta Kabob Sandwich - Pita Palace

Sometimes go-to’s are made by convenience, sometime laziness, maybe it's economics, every now and then it just comes from plain exceptional, ceaseless taste, of the kind you never tire of, week after week, appetite after appetite. When I became Iucky enough to stumble into a house purchase a pita toss from this sprawling Layton Ave chateau of Mediterranean comfort food, the “go-to” calculus began to spin endlessly, like a slowly turning vertical rotisserie.   

From hummus to arayes to lentil soup, all of the counter service spot’s dishes ring true. But it’s the sandwich section that brings me back, never wears out, with cheap, voluminous meat torpedos nestled inside tender, stretchy shrak bread. They are made of tight, but ambitious construction, braced by pickle buttons, onion and tomato wedges. The chicken yields variable cubes and scrags of spitted meat, some crisp, some soft, velvety garlic sauce making the bundle swim, sing. Or there is the kufta kabob, two skewers-worth of beefy, grainy-textured links, slicked with creamy tahini, the whole deal rife with mint, parsley, sumac, and the kind of otherworldliness that you watch Bourdain for a taste of. Kick either up with a side of the piercing, pungent Thai chile garlic sauce, a sauce with a confrontationally acidic spice profile, a flavor reminiscent of little else at all, just this side of a manageable amount of mother-in-law spleen.  

It’s the kind of place you spot from the air on approaches back to General Mitchell, a giant red neon glow of ‘Welcome Home;’ the kind of place your realtor might not mention, but you find it and know your property values will sustain, that it will also salve rote Mondays of yawns and kitchen ennui for years to come. It’s the kind of place you are endlessly happy to live near by, for when you don’t know what to cook, or, really, even when you do.  

5. Xiao Long Bao Dumplings - Momo Mee

“Eat with care” the menu warns, an enticing challenge, like something you might find on a waiver from a restaurant you learned of from “Man vs. Food.” To me it reminds of an internet-learning wormhole of food blogs and Youtubes on where to find the Shanghai delicacy in a back alley shop in Chicago’s Chinatown. And then, more challengingly, more importantly, how to actually eat a dumpling filled with soup. As an experienced Xiao Long Bao taster—twice—I can state the process is mostly so: Put a drop of soy sauce in your soup spoon, lift the dumpling from the top, place in the spoon, nibble a tiny hole in the top as a steam valve, slurp some broth out, and then, when the temp feels right, shoot it like an oyster. Then you sit back and feel worldly, self-satisfied, sated. 

But as long as you don’t puncture and spurt, or, really, as long as you “eat with care,” you are bound to end up happy, letting umami zest and warm salty pork wedges in hand-crafted dough baste the tongue. The disparity of eating this, here, in the base level of a building seemingly still warm from the factory, hits with the arrival of the steaming bamboo basket. Or, really,  with the Schezuan wontons, or the Cantonese claypots—anything you can order amidst the plasticizing Walker’s Point condo sprawl. As the neighborhood loses its soul, it’s character, one more hastily constructed Millennial molehill at a time, Momo Mee more than holds the line.   

4. Alambre - La Flamita

Certainly one of the buzziest events in town this winter would have to be a recent Ash Kitchen takeover, featuring James Beard-nominated Minnesota chef Jorge Guzman. The spot, an open hearth concept from Dan Jacobs and Dan Van Rite, is the new restaurant of the Iron Horse Hotel. The event spotlighted Mexican street food. Yes, at one of the priciest hotels in town. Black beans were $6; rice, a cool $5. And while probably delicious, probably well-intentioned, it sounds a bit like paying Fiserv prices to see a really great high school team: gimmicky at best, condescending at worst, and to any that spend time contemplating what and how we eat, a bit puzzling. If you want taco truck fare, why don’t you go to an actual taco truck? 

That very same Sunday night anyone with the hankering could have taken a short cruise west, on National, and subjected their appetites to La Flamita’s weekly special of one-buck pastor tacos. Cut by a big man with a large knife, direct from the trompo—one of the few of the Lebanese-rooted vertical spits in town—greasy, salty, piggy turns of earthiness are spiked by pineapple hunks, upped by arbol salsa that pokes through each bite like it has something to prove. Or, even better, it being Sunday and a day of fun after all, you could have an alambre. Mix your pastor with asada and with chorizo and with gooping, melting queso, the whole thing congealing into a warm, grandmotherly embrace of a taco mix mash, everything punctuated by peppers and onions. Plopped on top is a steaming baked potato, because they want you to be happy, full.   

It is the ideal meal for someone who can’t decide, yes, but also who wants it all, who won’t settle, who wants to soar, like Costanza on the wings of Pastrami, to an Epicurean taste fete of grease and meat sweat pleasure. But you can also stay comfortably on the street, barely 12 bucks in the hole, with leftovers certainly, alone in the car, beyond judging eyes or the formalities of waiters, to ponder life and appetite decisions, and wonder how many more you have room for. 

3. Tlayuda - La Costena 

If you have little kids you probably go to the Domes 300 times or so per year, or so it seems; and because it’s there, you probably go to Honeydip Donuts across the street maybe just a few times less. Heading south then, passing La Costena and it’s beckoning redness, the HGTV optics of an A-frame mini house-cum-taco truck is refreshing, promising in its cutesiness, alluring if only for the hope of something different. 

And different it is. Start with a pastor, my personal barometer of a taqueria’s worth. So often simple scraps of salted pink pork do the trick, but here it is decidedly less piggy, moister, deeper, somehow more seasoned and cheffy. Or try the asada, a 100-level taco order, but here redolent of butcher freshness, liberal salt, flattop love. Really you can tell from “hola,” by the friendliness, by the slowness, by the perfectly-quoted wait times from the counter man: Costena may well be the premier taco truck in town. 

Then, working your way through the menu, you get here, to a Mexican pizza, a NYC-slice-consistency, corn-shelled ship of salty flavor. The tlayuda is basically begging for you to take a picture, posturing with the bright allure of the flag of our neighbors to the south, popping with the reds of tomato and chipotle salsa, the greens of lettuce, avocado, the whites of queso, svelty sour cream, it all kept grounded by a swab of creamy refrieds, topped by a generous smattering of your carne of choice. Objectively, that choice should be chorizo, the grease-running ground sausage bits so rife with garlic, so equally charry and wet, that it makes any other kind of meat cover seem a bit tepid, a bit too-healthy.   

And sometimes this is how traditions are born, out of a need to get a little person out of the house, out of a desire to let them sleep off dreams of cacti and sausage fruit trees from Namibia in the backseat while dad sates creeping hunger and insoluble curiosity. Such is the joy of family, when you realize even proximity to Sobelman’s, to Oscar’s, can be beat, by this, a whole new world of car-meal, of pizza-esque joy, of something different. Long live the Domes.  

2. Brisket Burger, Hot Chicken Sandwich, Pimento Cheese, Cheese Curds - Palomino

It’s hard to keep track: Where are we all now on Palomino? Are we still mad they raised prices? Disappointed that it’s less bar and more restaurant? Stuck in a provincial mode that makes us yearn for cheap frozen tots and Bingo? Are we upset that they took a look in the mirror, didn’t coast, made an effort, and made their food much, much, much better? Or have we all just kind of forgotten it?  

Maybe I shouldn’t question. Just appreciate the fact I can walk in on a Friday night at 8, find whatever table I want, or a spot at the bar, and order any one or combo of my favorite things to eat in Milwaukee.  

There’s no better way to ruin an appetite and a doctor’s wishes than starting a feast with the curds. Elongated oblong bricks of a battered, sheeny shell, barely housing liquefying magma ooze, seem to get almost transported from fryer to wherever I’m sitting and leaning forward. Such is the temperature, the still oil-shimmering, post-bath promise. Stretchy and rich, airy and crispy, endlessly goopy, it’s a snack only matched in Southern-leaning decadence by the pimento cheese. This is piquant-popped velvetiness, the dream of what grown-up grilled cheese can embody, when plopped atop the accompanying charred toast.  

It takes will, recklessness, irresponsibility to keep going at this point. The hot chicken thigh, barely saddled inside a buttery brioche, is helped by two things: greasy slicks of mayo and house hot sauce aid gullet passage; also the heft is constructed so that if you put it down, it might fall apart. One must push forth, in delicious punishment. Then there is the brisket burger. No other burger in town is so good at avoiding overtopping, overhyping, overpricing, a balance of kitchen art and pleasure. Like it is no big deal: fresh ground meat, American cheese, onion, pickle, silky mayo-y special sauce. Here is what it would feel like if you could sit down at a Bay View bar and eat a Kopp’s masterpiece sided by an IPA on a chill Friday night, where you can also remember your growth-spurt 16-year-old appetite, even while pushing 40.

If there were ever a case to be made for it being OK to find a rut, to never stray or explore, to find your caloric Cheers and never think about going anywhere else, Palomino would lead my argument. 

1. Bahn Mi - Pho Hai Tuyet

There’s rarely a person that borrows my phone that doesn’t make the comment, the note: “You have a Pho Hai Tuyet app?” It’s there, near the front, proudly prominent, a bit out of place near Lyft and Instagram because it’s a by-the-airport dive in a converted fast food shack with endless out-of-commission fish tanks, and, for some reason, a stage. It is also known, has garnered a bit of a cult following for a fat guy sandwich of near-perfection. Or, it was, actually. 

Pho hai shuttered quietly, but inevitably, to anyone who’s been recently, sometime between this past spring and the future of our discontent. Still there was shock to those of us who thought the sandwich would always be there: the big French baguette bed, crispy, succulent pork scrags, garlicky mayo, heaps of cilantro, crispy jalapeno punches.    

To write about it hurts, like a eulogy, where you need to remember the bad and mix it with the strange to paint a picture. As it happens I have a friend who informed me that, once, while eating inside, he could hear something audibly scampering in the ceiling panels. Out of loyalty, out of sandwich-love, I practiced willful ignorance. I have another friend, a writer sort, who sports a Pho Hai polo shirt in his author bio pic. It seems like some sort of hipster ironicism, unless you know how much he loves—loved—the sandwich. And, really, what are we but not physical manifestations of our past meals and meal memories? A collection of those calories and reminisces.

Even as we look ahead, to more eating, to big city, big event pedigree, to maybe ending the national embarrassment, to 2020, to a promise of new vision, as we yearn for responsibility and reason, to, well, to... who knows? Whatever happens, whatever is next, I will never delete my Pho Hai Tuyet app.

[neverwatchedonepiece]

579-580: "Arriving! a Burning Island – Punk Hazard!" and "A Battle in the Heat! Luffy vs. the Giant Dragon!"

Sorry, I couldn’t wait. xD

Delayed gratification? 

Self-control?

Nah. Afraid not. The New World was calling and its siren song was far too strong. Plus, this arc has a killer name: Punk Hazard. I’ve itching to get to it ever since I saw the arc list on CR. And everything is on fire! (Except the part that’s not.)

But I’ve already said too much.

Luffy’s Nose: Meat-Detector and Trouble-Sniffer

Could it be the smell of burning island?

Now I get why you guys were mad at the filler interrupting the canon entry into the New World. The Strawhats were sailing back from wherever their filler adventures had taken them (I will go back and watch Film Z. Honest). Next thing, Zoro spots something interesting from the crow’s nest.

“What’s that? A red sea?” 

It quickly emerged that Zoro did not mean an inlet of the Indian Ocean between the continents of Africa and Asia. No. The sea was red because it was literally on fire. Volcanoes erupted. Lightning shrieked from the sky. Lots of dead, skeletonized fish bobbed in the water.

Awesome. I thought. That is totally metal. This will be fun.

Though fire is a rubber person’s natural enemy, Luffy thought the same. “LET’S GO TO THAT ISLAND!” he yelled.

Yes, Luffy! Please do. :D

Then something sketchy happened. Sunny’s DDM rang. It made a strange, wailing sound Luffy had never heard before. He asked the DDM if it had a stomachache (that was hilarious and oddly thoughtful of him). 

Sanji put him straight. “Luffy, you walnut, that’s an emergency signal.” 

Robin also added, “Most of them are fake. It’s a tactic the Marines use a lot.” (That was a cool, little detail. A hint that maybe the Marines tried to pull this on Robin in the past?)

Luffy processed this information then ignored it immediately. He picked up with his customary greeting: “HELLO, MY NAME IS MONKEY D. LUFFY AND I WILL BECOME THE PIRATE KING.” I should not find this funny now, but I still do. Every damned time. Luffy does not give a crap who knows he’s in the vicinity. I also love that DDM trope and hope Oda never stops using it.

The distress call was from some poor sap on Punk Hazard. “It’s cold, is this the boss? It’s cold. Our guys were cut one after the other. Samurai are gonna kill us! Please help. I’m on Punk Hazard--”

The message cut off abruptly due to premature death (by cutting, I assume).

Robin was convinced the messenger was attempting to lure them into a trap (she wasn’t that far off). Zoro, of course, zoomed in on the samurai.

Brook explained that the samurai was the name for the people of Wano Kingdom (remember the zombie samurai who possessed Brook’s shadow in Thriller Bark and passed on Shusui to Zoro? He came from there). Apparently, the Wano Kingdom is completely closed off to the outside world. It is unaffiliated with the World Government to the point that even Marine ships cannot approach (I’m getting North Sentinelese vibes here, minus the technology aspect).

But Brook was puzzled as to why samurai had been brought up. Distress signal guy said Punk Hazard, not Wano Kingdom. Why were samurai being mentioned? Plus, he said it was cold. Punk Hazard was literally burning. Also, the signal of a baby DDM carried by crews on exploration missions would only stretch as far as Punk Hazard to the Sunny. Why samurai and Wano?

Okay, I thought. This is going well so far. An island is burning. The sea is on fire.  A shady distress signal. A proper mystery is cooking here.

Then things got really interesting.

The action cut to Smoker’s G-5 ship. Robin was right! The Marines *do* listen in to emergency calls. Now Smoker knows the Strawhats are on Punk Hazard. But this was a pain in the ass for them. Punk Hazard had been sealed and made a restricted area after what happened four years ago. How could any living thing exist there? Plus, None of Nami’s new Log Pose needles pointed in the direction of this island, which was in itself suspicious. I wonder if the WG deliberately messed with Punk Hazard’s magnetic field so no one would come across the island by accident?

I felt like a ray of light pierced the heavens.

Disused government facilities is one of my favourite tropes. Resident Evil 2 was one of my favourite games as a kid. Ever since, I’ve loved the, “Oh, crap. Something went kaboom. Abandon ship! And now the protagonist must fight their way out” action plot trop.

Smoker ain’t the type of guy to let that phase him. “We’re going,” he said. So the Marines will show up at one point too. I’m glad. I missed Smoker. He’s been chasing Luffy for years. Gotta give the guy some panel time.

Mythical Creature BBQ

The Strawhats debating over who would escort Luffy to ensure he didn’t do anything dumb was hilarious. Nami was right, though. Luffy has no sense of self-preservation. They drew straws and Zoro, Robin and Usopp were chosen. (Poor Usopp. His disorder flared up again. xD)

Nami used another trick up her sleeve to make a cloud road (a la Skypiea) that soared over the flames, allowing mini Merry to sail over, unscathed. Downside? The road will eventually dissipate, potentially leaving the others stranded. Not so good.

When the reconnaissance team landed, they found Punk Hazard enclosed by an ominous, metal wall. Huge, “DANGER: KEEP OUT!” signs, stamped with the World Government and Marine sigils boosted the peril factor (nice). Of course, massive metal walls are no barrier to Zoro. He sliced open the gate and in they strolled!

Usopp was the only Strawhat who was really dressed for Punk Hazard, with his bare chest and overalls. The place was boiling. Volcanically hot to the point magma leaked from the stones beneath Usopp’s feet. Everything was burning. (By accident or on purpose?) Once Robin surveyed the dwellings, she concluded they were probably not people’s homes. (Evidence for a secret government training facility is growing by the minute here.)

Luffy called out to the Distress Signal Guy. (Was he stupid? This place is boiling! xD) 

Then, randomly, they encountered a supposed mythical creature. Not *the* dragon, as in Monkey D., but a fanged, fire-breathing monster that talked! 

I should learn not to get too attached to monsters in One Piece because they end up on the BBQ half the time. xD  It was cool that Luffy, Zoro, Usopp and Robin encountered a little difficulty in taking it down. Again, that ups the peril factor, which is great. 

Still not quite sure how the guy who was stuck on the dragon’s back managed to make it talk, but I guess I’ll learn how next episode. The only thing I can say is that I don’t think he’s the biggest fan of the Shichibukai. “Are you allies of the Shichibukai too?”

Arc Villain: Gru and his Minions?

Back on Sunny, where it was supposedly safer, kidnappings were afoot! (Excellent. Now everyone’s involved.)

Poor Chopper was wilting in the heat, eating his ice cream. Even Brook and Franky were feeling the burn. Sanji was in the kitchen, preparing some cool snacks, because only a chef who endures the fire of a kitchen every day would be able to endure said heat. I mean, the guy never even took his suit off. He must be flame-retardant.

While Sanji did his thing, outside on the deck, a sinister, Darth-Vader-breathing presence drew near. They placed a canister of sleeping gas on board. One by one, the Strawhats succumbed. (Including Brook, which was kind of weird, but Oda’s Universe, Oda’s Rules.)

For one minute, I thought Sanji might dodge the gas and there would be a grand return to the Sneaky Sanji running gag. But no. He opened the door, got a faceful of the gas, and almost, *almost* reached the DDM to call Luffy before passing out. Argh. Sanji was carted out with the rest by the strange, cycloptic yellow minions.

But Brook was left alone. I knew it! Ever since he was almost overlooked by Hordy’s goons on FMI, I figured Brook would be useful as a stealth agent. No one ever suspects the skeleton! I guess Sanji is in the limelight now. Now more sneaking around for him. Brook has taken over the mantle. Go, Brook!

The Strawhats are being taken to “The Master.” 

I am excited.

I love that these minions think that the “two humans, a cyborg and their pet” will not be missed by anyone. No one except the G-5 ship and an angry Vice-Admiral Smoker heading your way. >:D

Love how these two are tucking into lunch when the sea is literally on fire below them.

[chantellehere]

Going Solo

It’s always nice to finish work early, even nicer when a trip awaits. Thursday morning I was minding three little ones, by nighttime, I found myself in Bologna, a beautiful city in the north of Italy. Although I know spag bol doesn’t come from Bologna, I was craving a lovely plate of pasta. As soon as I dropped my bags at the Airbnb and had a quick shower, I went out to the city centre on the look out for my perfect plate of pasta. Being highly indecisive and also wanting to minimise cost, I ended up spending an hour and a bit before I sat down in the back room of La Traviata, a restaurant recommended on lonely planet, or some other trusted travel websites. And because by the time I got to the restaurant, I was starving. I promised myself that no matter how much it cost, I’d sit down and finally have my evening meal, at nine o’clock. 

The place was sophisticated and quiet, which should’ve been a sign - seeing I am a budget traveller, not one to splurge and definitely not on a plate of pasta. Hunger has taken over my senses and I almost immediately regretted it as soon as I opened the menu. €11 for a tagliatelle al ragu = fancy spag bol. It was the cheapest thing on the menu so I hurriedly placed my order, without wine or water. Why isn’t tap water an option?!

The €11 was rich in flavour but smaller than I was expecting, given the price tag. As my friend pointed out, it looked like five strands of pasta. And it felt like it. I wanted more. I am no pasta connoisseur and I don’t know what a proper tagliatelle al ragu taste like but it was delicious, might have been a little on the salty side but delicious nonetheless. 

Water costs in most Italian restaurants. Also, they charge you for service, and it doesn’t seem to be discretionary either. (I paid €3 for them to bring me my plate of pasta just to take it away five minutes later)

1/3/2019, Friday

As I do in every city I visit, I booked onto a free walking tour to acquaint myself with the city and its history. Since Sandeman don’t organise walking tours in Bologna, I went for the JM Walking Tour, which turns out to be a charity for people in wheelchairs, since Italian roads are not very wheelchair friendly. The tour was, as always, informative and ticked off most places I had dotted on my list of things to see. 

Having seen most of the city centre, I spent over an hour after lunch navigating my way to the famous San Luca, a basilica church on top of the hill. Honestly, what would I do without it and how did people live back than before google map was invented?

At first, the Ali seemed ok, all straight roads, although for some reason google maps led me to an old neighbourhood rather than the start of the 666 arches that takes you straight from the city centre to the hill. Clothes were coming off later by layer as the walk continued. 

I’m sat here now at the top of San Luca, looking directly at the church on the hill, bright orange, with a bit of yellow and a bit of brown but nothing else. I suppose the fact they build this on the hill is pretty amazing by other than that, I’m not sure if I’ll ever climb all the way up here again.

Of course, classic me, I chose the foggiest day to come to this place where people come here for nothing but the view, which I now can barely see. The tour guide did say come in the evening when it’s dark but as a solo female traveller who can never be mistaken as a local, I’d rather play it safe and come up here earlier when it’s still bright. Also, since I have basically seen all of Bologna today - I had no idea it was this small! - I thought I could spend tomorrow at another city nearby, possible Ferrara, since it’s the closest one by train - only 30-50 minutes away. 

Although not as tiring as the walk up hill, my walk back to the city centre took about the same amount of time. It’s interesting and relaxing to walk in one direction for such a prolonged period of time without your earphones plugged in and the top 40 chart music filling your head. You hear people you walk pass talking in different languages, with different voices. One lady spoke like she was signing the opera but I’m pretty sure that was her normal voice. You hear the lucky badgers in the vehicular next to you, speaking down that hill in a quarter of the time it takes for you to tread down, dogs barking behind the gates, birds chirping even at 5pm and others walking with heavy steps. 

As I continued following the arches, I fantasied about the gelato I’m going to have. Lucky for me, as if it was meant to be, the path I was on let me straight to Cremeria Santo Stefano, a gelato shop that was highly recommended on most lists online. For €3,50, I had a taste of heaven in three different flavours. I bloody deserved it. 

Still hungry, I walked around the same area of Piazza Maggiore for about an hour and still had not decided on a place for aperitivo. Finally, my stomach rambled so aggressively, giving me the permission to spend money I would otherwise save up. I walked into one do the restaurants I stumbled upon last night but decided against for reasons I no longer remember. 

I sat down and ordered a frozen daiquiri and got up and loaded my plate with food. The joy of Aperitivo. Buy a drink and get unlimited supply of food for free. With a full plate in hand, I headed back towards my place to find a perfectly round pizza that I had not ordered in front of me. 

“Gratuito” said the man at the table to my left. 

“Free?” I tried to confirm, to which the lady next to him nodded. I happily tucked into my added freebie. 

As I ate, my stomach seem to open it’s mouth wider, keeping me up on my feet every two minutes to get more food, leaving my drink unattended. A man sat next to me and started staring, making me extremely uncomfortable. At one point, he spoke to me, to which I shook my head to indicated my lack of understanding and my lack of interest in conversing with him. I tried to down a few more slices of my pizza but had left my drink untouched, worried it might have been spiked. (I know, I was probably overreacting and overdramatising the whole situation but better safe than sorry no?)

His gaze never left my direction, unless he got up and got food. (I know this sounds like some erotica but trust me, it was more of a thriller) How does one even eat properly without paying attention to his plate? I waited for him to do another round of food loading and got up, paid the bill and left hurriedly. Most of my daiquiri was left untouched, which was such a shame, such a waste. Italy really creeps me out sometimes. Me in this country is like my white friends in Vietnam. Honestly, I’m just trying to have a good time here, alone. 

[starf]

StarF’s Top Ten Albums of 2018

Ah yes, it’s time for the one time a year that I use Tumblr these days. We’re already roaring well into 2019 but it’s about that time that I let you know my top ten picks for the previous year! For anyone new here, if you’re screaming “BUT IT’S MID-FEBRUARY!” you can cool your jets, because I always wait a month or so to let any late-year straggler releases really set in, and give everything time to breathe. I wouldn’t want to include an album just because it was recent in memory, or exclude anything by jumping the gun!

As I type this I want you to know that I haven’t at this moment solidified my top ten. I have a rough idea, but it’s tough this year, let me tell you. 2018 had SO MANY great releases, and so many consistent releases, that it’s painful for me to only choose ten. But alas, that’s the system that I’ve chosen, and so ten must emerge. Here they are:

10. The Grammar Club - Live Slow. Die Whenever.

2018 marked the return of The Grammar Club in a big way. They had previously resurrected the project through the use of Patreon, but this was the official release of a bunch of the songs that came out of that (and I believe a handful of songs that weren’t released on Patreon? I’m not entirely sure). In any case, Live Slow. Die Whenever. is a goddamn hit factory. Eclectic topic material, catchy hooks, and powerful delivery have made this album a mainstay in my rotation all year.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

9. MC Frontalot - Net Split or, The Fathomless Heartbreak of Online Itself

Speaking of the return of notable nerdcore artists, MC Frontalot finally released his new album! Previously teased simply as The Internet Sucks it took on what is quite the mouthful of a title and an absolutely amazing cover. Net Split is an interesting album for me personally because it is actually very similar to a concept that I wanted to do years ago, which is to make an album examining how the internet has affected and changed culture through a sociological lens. Net Split isn’t quite as analytical as that description would make it sound, but it is essentially the same idea: a collection of songs examining and criticizing the internet. They are well written, bitingly relevant, and incredibly catchy. The once-eponymous Internet Sucks has gotten stuck in my head probably once every couple days since I first heard it.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

8. Cursive - Vitriola

This album came as a complete shock to me in the greatest of ways. One day I was browsing my local record shop and saw on the “New Release” board that Cursive had released a new album. I bought it immediately, and didn’t regret a thing. Where Net Split takes a hard look at the internet and what it’s done to us, but in a light and fun way, Vitriola takes a look at society with a sneer and a scowl. This album is dark, moody, and will suck you into its world immediately and not let you go.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

7. EURINGER - EURINGER

If you’re sad that Mindless Self Indulgence hasn’t released an album since 2013 then rejoice, because EURINGER is gonna be your fix. A new project from Jimmy Urine, this album surely feels like the next logical step from MSI while also breathing some new life of its own. A journey through a warped mind, this album takes its turns being completely in your face and completely wrapped up in its own world. Built like some sort of psychotic 80′s pop fantasy for the modern day, this album surely won’t be for everyone, but it’s a slice of heaven for those it is for.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

6. Marc With A C - Obscurity

Would it be a StarF top ten list if it didn’t include a Marc With A C album? It would, but it wouldn’t be a very good one! Obscurity is the latest and best album to date from Marc With A C, and there’s good reason for that. To put it short this is the album Marc has wanted to make for quite some time, and now that it’s here it’s clear to see that there was a reason that this was the one. The content walks the line perfectly between light hearted and deadly serious. It’s funny, it’s touching, it’s got something to say, and it’s going to do all of these things in songs that you’re going to be singing by your second spin of the record.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

5. Supercommuter - Trash World

2018 truly was the year of comebacks, wasn’t it? After seven long years of waiting the third Supercommuter album finally came out and I’m happy to report that the wait was worth it! Trash World takes everything Supercommuter has been doing with the first two albums and continues to expand and elevate the universe they live in. Wheelie Cyberman is sharp as ever both in performance and storytelling aptitude, and the vibe of this album is incredibly cohesive. I am also a huge fan of this cover art, I feel compelled to add in.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

4. Mother Mother - Dance And Cry

There’s always one album that’s gotta be difficult for me to link to, and this year it’s Mother Mother. How are you gonna have only one of your albums available on Bandcamp and it’s not the most recent one? I digress though, because Dance And Cry is absolutely incredible. It’s weirdly hard to put into words why I love this album so much, but it just makes me feel a way, you know? The title is a perfect summation of what this album has to offer you: upbeat, danceable pop songs that are somewhere between crying because life is hard and because life is beautiful. This album will move you physically and emotionally.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

3. Wordburglar - Rhyme Your Business

If Mother Mother is going to have you crying while dancing, Wordburglar is here to get you smiling. Also look at that, two Canadian artists in a row, wow! It’s no secret that I love Wordburglar, and to be honest over the last few years he’s become one of my all time favorite rappers. He’s incredibly talented as a lyricist and rapper with an immediately identifiable style. I really cannot say enough good things about him and this album. It’s fun, it’s upbeat, it’s inspiring, and it’s just the tip of the iceburg... if you’ll pardon the pun.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

2. Antarctigo Vespucci - Love In The Time Of E-Mail

Let me plead my case before I even start talking about this album, because some of you might think I automatically throw anything Jeff Rosenstock or Chris Farren related onto my list and that’s why this is here. You’re wrong! Case in point: Antarctigo Vespucci’s previous record, Leavin’ La Vida Loca didn’t even appear on my list for the year that it came out! Not that I didn’t enjoy that record, but it didn’t really “grab” me immediately, so to speak.

...That was not the case for Love In The Time Of E-Mail, which grabbed me immediately and refused to let go. This album is 43 minutes of power pop madness that will drive its tunes straight into your brain’s core and leave them there to repeat over and over and over again. I can’t stop returning to this album because sure enough each day I wake up with one of the 15 songs in my head. It’s also weird to see that a real trend of 2018, at least on my top ten, is albums that are specifically focused on the internet and what it’s doing to us.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

1. Jeff Rosenstock - POST-

...oh come on, is anyone even surprised? Listen, it’s the same case as I said above, I wouldn’t include this on my list at all if I didn’t truly feel it belonged here. But here’s the deal: POST- dropped as a surprise on January 1st of 2018. The FIRST day of the year, and over a year later I am still listening to it regularly and finding new reasons to fall in love with this album. I love it for many of the same reasons I love the AV album (big surprise there), but while it shares the same catchy qualities of Love In The Time Of E-Mail, it also does so with a reckless fervor. POST- is an emotional explosion and reaction to our times, and while it may not be my favorite Rosenstock record, it is the perfect record for the time it exists within.

CHECK IT OUT HERE!

[avegetariancannibal]

“Cheese and Opera”

Hannictober Day 6: Possession

Hannibal awoke when he heard muffled conversation coming from down the hall. More specifically it sounded like it was coming from Will's bedroom.

He listened for a few moments, only because it sounded like an argument. He'd given up intruding on Will's privacy. For the most part. But he needed to know if danger was imminent, did he not?

"You'd better not," he heard Will say. "I swear to fucking God!"

Was Will in contact with Jack Crawford? Local authorities? A bounty hunter who was threatening to renege on a deal? He was fairly certain the Verger-Blooms were not, as of yet, looking for either of them.

"Are you all right?" he called out.

"Perfectly fine!" Will called back.

Will's bounding footsteps down the hall were followed by him appearing in the bedroom doorway, disheveled and pink-faced and smiling.

"Gosh, I'm so glad to see you again," Will gushed. He bit his lip and lowered his eyes. "I need to confess something, Doctor."

Hannibal's interest and other things were piqued. "What's that?"

"I-I watched you sleep last night," Will said, shuffling his feet. "Just for a little while, though! ell, maybe longer than that. I just wanted to be in your presence."

Hannibal risked patting the pillow beside him. "You know you're more than welcome to join me. No need to limit yourself to merely watching."

"Oh! Oh, no, no thanks," Will said, much too quickly for Hannibal's liking. "I mean, the thought's crossed my mind a few times, but what I'd really like to do is go to the opera with you."

Hannibal blinked. He was too confused to be hurt. "The opera?"

"La Traviata," Will said. "I thought it's something we could enjoy together."

Now Hannibal was suspicious. Is that where Crawford was going to apprehend him? The opera! How terribly obvious.

"I'm afraid I'm not in the mood," Hannibal sniffed.

When Hannibal later found Will sitting on the kitchen floor, stuffing assorted cheeses into his mouth and listening to Michael Jackson's greatest hits, he finally realized what was going on.

"Are you Franklyn?" he asked.

Will nearly choked on his thumbful of Camembert. "W-why would you even ask me that? How ridiculous!"

"The lion is in the room," Hannibal said, crouching down beside him, "and he wants you to answer the question."

"Are you going to be mad?" asked the man who only looked like Will. A bit of cheese rind clung to his lower lip.

"The question is why aren't you mad?" Hannibal asked. "I killed you. You could be using Will's body to eke out some manner of revenge."

Franklyn's borrowed eyes went wide. "Oh! No, no, Doctor, I would never. It's honestly not so bad, where I am now. In a lot of ways it's better than my life as it was, minus the lack of cheese."

Hannibal sat down across from him. "The afterlife? Heaven? Some version of it? Certainly not hell. You were a good man."

Franklyn blushed and failed to suppress a flattered smile. "That means a lot to me, coming from you."

"It really shouldn't," Hannibal said.

He got up long enough to fetch the olive fougasse he'd made the day before, and a handful of tartish grapes. He handed them to Franklyn, saying, "At least eat the cheese with some proper accompaniment."

Franklyn wasted no time slicing some Cantal Fermier onto the bread and cramming both into his mouth. “God, I’ve missed this!”

"Do you plan to stay in Will's body for long?" Hannibal asked. "You should know I would find a way to exorcise you."

Franklyn shook his head. "I only get 24 hours back among the living and I used up a lot of that time watching you sleep."

"And then you go back to...where, exactly?"

Franklyn looked sheepish in Will's face. "Sorry. I can't tell you. It's some kind of cosmic, metaphysical rule. I probably already told you too much anyway."

Hannibal tried another tack. "Can you converse with me outside of Will's body? I heard him talking to you. I'd prefer if you didn't hijack him."

"You didn't sense my spirit watching you sleep, so I'd guess you don't have the ability," Franklyn said. "This Will guy's got a level of perception that's out of this world---no pun intended."

"Could you possess me instead?" Hannibal asked.

Franklyn laughed. "You don't remember from our sessions? I don't want to be you; I want to be near you."

"I thought I'd offer," Hannibal said. "Well, go get dressed and brush the crumbs out of your---Will's---beard."

Franklyn blinked up at him even as he hurriedly got to his feet. "Why? Where am I going?"

"You're going to the opera," Hannibal said, "with me."

******

After La Traviata, Hannibal bought crêpes au fromage for them both at a little stand near the Opéra Bastille.

"Why are you being so nice to me?" Franklyn asked as they ambled through the street. "Feeding me cheese and taking me to the opera...."

Hannibal shrugged. "Why wouldn't I?"

Franklyn rolled Will's eyes at him. "Come on, Doctor. You were repulsed by my very presence when I was alive. Is it just because I'm wearing this guy?"

"You and I... had a lot in common," Hannibal said, carefully choosing his words. He could be honest with Franklyn and leave out the parts that might hurt him unnecessarily. "I saw certain aspects of myself in you I wasn't ready to see."

Franklyn scoffed around a mouthful of crêpe. "What did you and I have in common?"

"Loneliness," Hannibal said. "As you said yourself: It comes with a dull ache."

Franklyn seemed to consider that for a moment, then suddenly stumbled. His face---Will's face---looked flushed.

"I think my time is about up," Franklyn said. He gathered himself up, put on a brave face and stuck out his hand.

Hannibal shook it. "Have you made friends? Where you went?"

Franklyn looked chagrined. "I...I haven't really tried."

"But there are others, other spirits, with whom you could be friends?" Hannibal asked.

"I suppose," said Franklyn.

"Then consider it your former doctor's orders," Hannibal said, "to make at least one new friend when you go back."

Franklyn laughed and took one last bite of his crêpe. "I'll give it my best shot. Bye, Doctor Lecter."

"Goodbye, Franklyn," Hannibal said. He had a sudden thought. "Oh, one last thing: I doubt you'll see him where you're going, but if you do run across Mason Verger, please gloat a bit that you got to wear Will Graham's face."

An instant later, the spirit was gone and Will was entirely himself again. There was no outward difference, but Hannibal could see it plain as anything he'd ever seen anything in his life. He was looking at his Will, and nobody else.

Will glanced all around, frowning at the night sky and bustling crowds. "Where in the hell are we? What in the hell am I doing here? Hannibal, I could swear I was just talking to a ghost and then---" He clutched at his belly. "Oh, God. Why do I feel like I've eaten a kilo of cheese?"

"I'll explain on the way home," Hannibal said, offering his arm. He was elated when Will accepted it. He hoped someday, if he had all eternity in whatever place he now occupied, that Franklyn would know the same feeling.

-end-

[cto10121]

original english lyrics for le pouvoir 

Got a lightning rod inspiration for this song out of nowhere, so I thought, why not? For some strange reason, this song, usually cut, has made a resurgence post-Revival on, which hasn’t happened to other usually cut songs except for La Folie, I think. It’s probably been moved around more than any other song, too - I think the Russian had the craziest placement of them all, after Le Chant. 

Usually I prefer to cut the song, as it kills the pacing and it’s more or less out-of-nowhere. But I can see why Presgurvic eventually kept it. A cold, cynical Prince concerned only with retaining his power makes much better sense than one with some conscience. Verona wouldn’t be half the hellhole it is if the Prince or the Escaluses in general had really been concerned with ending the feud instead of only interfering when things go too far. It gives a realistic, modern edge to the drama and justifies the tragedy. 

So I went for a looser take, summoned up my inner snarky Tim Rice, and voilà. In a version of the show in which I keep it, I’d have it in the same place, after La Vengeance; really the only appropriate place for it. Feedback is appreciated, etc.

MAJOR EDIT 6/11/20: Not too major, but still. Back to the drawing board because of course I am. Streamlined some lines, fit the rhythmic pattern of others, and generally made it more singable. Still am proud of these lyrics, they sound nigh Broadway. 

MAJOR EDIT 10/8/22: Okay, not really a major edit, but I did spruce up two crucial lines. To me, it’s important that the Prince not just corrupt, but feel he is justified in his power games. He doesn’t believe the feud can be resolved; what he is focused on is damage control, preventing things from getting too out of hand. He does enough to keep things from escalating, which means keeping the two sides at permanent bay. Honestly, thinking it over…I probably will restore Le Pouvoir at its original placement after all, even if the Verona reprise is more melodically significant and genuinely impactful. It’s just too chillingly relevant.

That Is Power/The Prince’s Soliloquy (Le Pouvoir)

The Prince Another clash, another kill Of foe and friend, of power and will It's unjust—still, you must  Learn not to suffer fools

I’m envied—well, why not? All men dream of ruling their lot They assent, but resent  That I know well their play Still, it's true, what they say  Though I know it seems cruel But my concern is my rule

This is power This is power This is power 

As a sovereign, you must know How much farther you can go The lines you’re clear to cross The deeds to hide or gloss  For when the world around you wants a slice Of your riches, your prestige  A sleepless life's the price You pay to stay the siege 

That's the greatness power gives You decide who falls, who lives  The world's your looking glass To reflect you as you pass That is power Your power 

Those who live on dreams are fools There are diktats, there are rules And if it seems that things can change It's just pieces rearranged  For when you guard your means Your land, your wealth, your dreams You make your legacy Your stake in history 

Who can argue with success? Even bad press is still press In this world where men are bought You either bribe or buy for lot In this world where men are sold It’s not God men love, but gold Let the weak cling to ideals:  To be great, you lie, you steal

This is power, understand!  You must trust in heaven's plan  You must pick your sacrifice  Accept your chosen price And if two sides cannot cease Their war to sue for peace You must learn to use their pride To keep them at their divide

Leave dreams of change to youth Your image is your truth Your myth is of an age And all the world’s your stage When you're more than just a man You war for all you can And when someday you'll step down  Renounce your earthly crown

It’s your end

Chorus That is power That is power That is power That is power

The Prince That is power...

[superfluffysupernatural]

How Could You Series

Part 2: An Upsetting Reunion

Relationship: Dean/Reader

Word Count: 1312

Warnings: angst, demon possession

Summary: After leaving Dean behind, you have some problems with a demon that leave you weak and scared. Somehow, Dean finds you- but he isn't alone.

A/N: This series will go along so smoothly if y’all send me messages about it and ask for more!

~Rae

About Three Years Later

You could hardly remember the past few months. That's why, as soon as you gained consciousness and you made sure you were in control of your body, your hunter instincts took over. You had woken up in some motel room, and you searched desperately for your hunting bag, to no avail. You couldn't even find your car keys. All you had on your person was your burner phone. Which was dead. You hoped maybe the charger was in the room too, and you finally got lucky when it was plugged into an outlet. Once you plugged your phone in, you scrolled through all of your contacts, searching for one in particular. Another stroke of luck, he answered the call. "Hello?" "I need help," you said, your voice shaky. "I'm stranded in some motel room, I don't have anything. I can't salt the place or make any devils traps or holy water-" "Wait, what happened?" "I don't know! Everything for the past however many months is a blur! I just... I need some help from another hunter," you weeped. "Okay. Where are you, do you know?" You shook your head, looking around the room for any sign of a location. You saw a picture on the wall of the 'Welcome to Vegas' sign and promptly opened the curtain to look out the window. Far off in the distance, you saw light pollution from where you could only assume was Las Vegas. Turning your head the other way, you caught a glimpse of the motel's sign. "I think I'm in a motel outside of Vegas. The Grenwick." "Sending someone your way," the hunter said before hanging up. Once you were off the phone, you stripped down and got in the shower. After washing your hair and body, you didn't have the energy to do much else but sit down in the tub, holding your knees to your chest, and you let the water run over you. You didn't know how much time passed before someone kicked the door in, but you didn't care. "[Y/N]?" A familiar voice asked from just outside the bathroom door. You slowly turned your head to see Dean Winchester. And when he saw that it was you, he rushed into the bathroom, shut the water off, and threw a towel over you. "What happened?" he asked quietly. "Demon," another voice said. He stepped forward into the doorframe and tilted his head towards your back. That's when Dean saw it. Your anti-possession tattoo had been sliced right down the middle. He could tell there were multiple cuts by the scarring where it had tried to heal just to be sliced over again. A demon had been possessing you for months, but because of the ink, had to repeatedly break the lock you had put on your body to secure it from evil spirits. That's when some of it came back to you. A sudden flash of the memory of getting attacked on a hunt, feeling the sting between your shoulder blades, but your attacker was careful not to stab you fatally. Why would they do that? "We need to get her out of here," the other man says. Dean nods and focuses on helping you, but all you can do is look at his face. He's aged. Not badly, but he looks far more than just three years older. And you had thought he'd seen some shit when you first met him. You can only imagine what a Winchester would see in three years. Three years is a long time for hunters, given that you all have a short life expectancy. Thirty is lucky, forty is pushing it, and no one ever lives to see fifty. Not in this life. Lots of monsters to hunt in three years. "[Y/N]!" Dean yells, you suspect it isn't the first time either. You hum in response. He's got you back into your clothes and he's strapping you into the car. "I need you to tell us everything," he says as he drives off. "Who's he?" you ask groggily. "I'm Sam-" the other man begins to say. "I'll explain later," Dean interrupts. "Where are we going?" you continue asking questions. "Somewhere safe. Tell us what you know," Dean replies. "Dean, I don't know anything. The last thing I remember is from October. I was hunting something, I guess it turned out to be a demon, and it attacked me and cut my tattoo. That's all I know." "Oh [Y/N]..." Dean says. "What?" you ask. "It's February..." Sam tells you. "Please tell me it's 2013 not 2014," you say, fearful. "It's 2013. But that still leaves you with about four unaccounted for months," Dean points out. "Yeah, I realize that," you spit. You figure Dean doesn't have anything else to say because he simply remained silent after that. After a few quiet minutes pass, you begin to talk to the other man, Sam. "So your name is Sam?" you ask to confirm. "Yeah," he nods. "Sam Winchester." You pause, confused. Dean said his brother was gone. So why? "You're Dean's brother?" "What, he didn't say anything about me?" Sam asks surprisedly. "All he said... was that he used to have a partner, his brother, and that he was out of the picture..." you told Sam. You could almost hear Dean cringe at the sound of you talking about him as if he weren't there. "Dean, was this after-" "Yeah. I told you I couldn't stop hunting," he says gruffly. "After what?" you prod. Sam seems to decide maybe there was a reason Dean hadn't told you everything, because he then says, "Tell you later. It's complicated." "I'm a hunter, I eat complicated for breakfast," you sass. Sam chuckles, but your ride continues in silence. Until you reach your destination. Dean insists on helping you walk inside, and you don't want to argue, so you just let him. It's a bunker. A huge bunker- a hunter's heaven you find out. The brothers didn't tell you much, but they did tell you about this. The Men of Letters, the key their grandfather gave them. You were certain even that wasn't the full story, but it was enough. Once you get to your new room, Dean helps you into the bed and closes the door. "What happened?" he asks confrontationally. You groan. "I told you!" "No, not about that. Three years ago, what happened?" He wanted answers and you had none to give. "What do you mean what happened?" you ask, not sure what he wanted you to say. "Well I mean, I know what happened but... what happened? Why'd you leave? In like, one of the most cliche ways possible, might I add." "Well, I left because we didn't make good hunting partners and I work alone and I thought you could find someone else. You're the one that followed me. So I had to leave when you couldn't follow me," you explain. "So you just slept with me so that you could sneak out in the morning when I wouldn't follow you?" he asks. "I guess?" you ask. Dean looks offended and it's only mildly funny. "Look, you're the one that brought me to a motel room and kissed me when you knew I had lower inhibitions. I didn't have to have sex with you." "Oh," he steps away from the door and stands closer to the bed where you're laying. "So you just... wanted to have sex with me?" "Oh my god, Dean. Wow, you really just- wow. Just leave. I'm not having this conversation with you." Really? How old is he? He's practically baiting you for slut shaming. He does look genuinely disappointed in himself for making you want to kick him out though. "Okay. Sorry." He gets off the bed and leaves, closing the door behind him.

[psychicninja90]

Truths and Bruises, it's a Demon-Devil Thing

(I know that the episode is premiering in a little over an hour, but I had to get this out of me.) The tower of Lux loomed above him and for the first time Lucifer took no comfort from its height. Looking up all he could think about was the solitude which he had grown unaccustomed to in the last year. Despite his bed mates and Maze, only the frequent presence of one made it truly home. Or perhaps she carried home with her. Sighing he pushed down the pain of her never gracing his door again. He had pushed too hard and too far, which he supposed was good in a way. The farther away from him, the farther she was from danger. Closing his eyes, he summoned the picture that always brought him comfort: her sitting across from him and smiling on their first, though unfinished, date. A wistful smile grew on his face, until he was struck by a barking voice. "Lucifer!" Rolling his shoulders back, he plastered on his trademark smirk and spun around. "Mazikee--" Thwack! Stars exploded in front of his eyes and pain bloomed along his face. He rubbed it dazedly. "Dear me Maze, that was a little harder than your usual love taps." Another blow drove his head into the ground. When had he fallen? Had he blacked out? "Good," she ground out. "You deserve that and more." He stumbled up and blinked a few times to remove the spots from his vision. When he could see her, she was snarling. If she could summon the fires of Hell in her eyes he was sure she would have. That didn't mean he understood why. "Whatever for?" "For everything." She lashed out with her right arm, which he dodged. "For lying." Then her left and he barely ducked out of the way. "For ignoring me." She jabbed him, connecting with his stomach making him stumble back. "For leaving!" She spin kicked, which he caught, right before she connected with his head. "For hurting my friend," she growled, her eyes alight with fury. "Oh, so that's what this is about? I've been back for a while. A bit slow on the uptake are we, Maze?" he spat with a cruel smirk. A part of him felt guilty. She was defending the detective and was upset about the state of their friendship. But his face really hurt. Impossibly her gaze hardened. "Amenadiel told me your plan." Sighing, he looked away from her. His anger for Amenadiel roiled inside him. A warning would have been nice. "You were never going to tell me, were you?" He said nothing, but he didn't need to. She scoffed. "You've been a terrible, selfish friend." Taking a deep breath, he tried to regain some of his composure. "You don't understand." "No I do; you're going to abandon me--Chloe--again. For Heaven? Really?" "I'm not planning on staying! As soon as Mum is inside the gates I'm trapping her there and escaping before any angels can trip over their robes." She rolled her eyes. "Because your plans always go oh so well. What if they send you back to Hell? What if you get stuck there? They're not exactly your biggest fans. Have you thought about what would happen to us--to me, to Chloe?" Running his hand through his hair, he looked away. Of course he had thought about it. Most of his energy had been spent on trying to not think about it. "Then you'd look after her. And you'd be fine; you both would. You both have people here who love you." "And you?" "I would get what I deserve." "Lucifer." For a moment, her voice softened, imploring him. "It's better this way, Maze." He waved her off. "For everyone, especially the Detective." If he were honest with himself, he was only thinking of her. Of what she deserved, which was not him. "You mean easier. I mean I know you don't think things through, but this is extreme even for you. And all for revenge for what? Oh no, my Dad gave me a girlfriend who's smart and funny and good. Guess I should go kill Him." "And she makes me human," he added lamely. "Which you've never cared about until now." He grimaced. "I'm doing this for the good of everyone." Father, even to him it sounded like he was trying to convince himself. Maze, thankfully, didn't catch that. She just scoffed. "You're doing this for you. You're having a tantrum over your Daddy making your favorite human. Well, guess what Lucifer? He made everything." "He made her for me!" She laughed humorlessly. "Oh yeah. It's not like she's a good friend or a badass detective or a great mom. No, she was just wandering around the world ---la da da da da! --until you came along and gave her her 'purpose'." "Of course she's all of those things, but I don't deserve her, Maze. I cannot--will not all anyone to force her to care me. All of her feelings for me were beyond her control." "And yours weren't?! Do any of us have that control?! I never thought I would be friends with one human, much less five! Especially a kid! Yet here I am with a sloppy manicure done by an eight year old and you know what? I love it! Feelings don't make sense, Lucifer." He sighed exasperatedly. "You don't understand, you never will, and I've run out of patience. Besides I don't need to explain myself, least of all to you." The ground trembled with her snarl, but he ignored her and with the venom of his words dripping from his lips, he began walking to his lonely tower. "You know what? You're right. You don't deserve her. You're a selfish prick and she's awesome. And one day she'll meet somebody who will treat her that way." He flinched, but continued to walk away. "And he will touch her and kiss her and love her like you never would. Maybe she'll marry him. And hey! Maybe she'll invite you to the wedding." Trying to ignore her words as they sliced into him, sharper than her demon blades and coated with poison, he forced his limbs to move through the pain. He had to get to his penthouse and shut out the world. Shut out her, where he no longer had to pretend how much it burned him to see her. "On the plus side, if the guy she marries has dark hair and brown eyes you can pretend her new kids are yours. Maybe she'll let you babysit and they'll call you Uncle Lucifer." With her words echoing in his mind, images of small humans with curly dark hair and blue eyes assaulted his mind. The Detective holding a slightly older Beatrice, a smaller girl resembling her, and an infant in the middle, as they stared fondly at someone in his direction. Him, he realized with a twist of his heart. Growling he tried to force the images away to burn them from his mind. It was only when this last image had faded into ashes that he realized he was no longer moving, but standing hunched with fists clenched and breathing fast. His own mind was being used against him now. So lost in the torture of these happy illusions that he jerked in surprise at the sound of Maze's voice. "And you can watch the absolute bliss of the woman you love with another man. Watch her stare at him with love and adoration. With complete trust. She will look at him how she will never again look at you." He turned with snarling face, but she only smiled cruelly. "And you, you'll be all alone. Loveless. Forever. Knowing you could've had it all with an amazing, good woman, but you ruined it because of your Daddy issues. So you were right. You don't deserve her. But you don't deserve a Heavenly prison either, Lucifer." He let out an inhuman low growl. "Tread very carefully, Maze." The fires of Hell burned in his eyes, but she only sneered. "You deserve this Hell on earth." Everything turned red as a feral roar ripped out of him and he was running at top speed toward her. She met him and tackled him around the middle. She pushed him back a few feet, but then he dug in his heels, and kneed her in the stomach. He felt her grip weaken, lifted her around the waist, and threw her into a nearby light stand. She groaned and crumpled for a moment. Allowing him to catch his breath, he glared at her. "Stay down, Maze." In response she growled and ran at him, but he struck out with a right hook. She caught and wrenched it back. He cried out in pain and jabbed her in the face with his elbow. Stumbling back, she cried out. When she looked up at him, she unsheathed her knives and ran at him. "I just thought you were being stupid!" Slicing upwards he dodged, caught her arm, and threw away her blade. "I kept waiting for you to fix it!" She sliced at his shoulder, tearing the fabric and barely missing flesh. "But you never did and you never were!" Raising her knife she sliced downward, but Lucifer dodged again and grabbed her by the throat. "Enough!" With a mighty yell, he threw her into the ground. She wrapped her legs around his and threw him down in turn. He attempted to get up, but she then rolled onto him landing on his chest with her knife at his throat. Both were panting fiercely. Maze's eyes were wild and furious like he had never seen. For once in the whole of their relationship, he was truly afraid of her. "The funny thing: the only reason you're still alive right now is Chloe." His eyes widened a fraction at the admission, but still he smirked. "Please. You couldn't even kill me when I wanted you to." "This is different. You betrayed me, her, everyone. And all traitors belong in Hell." She pressed her knife harder against his throat, and he felt the pinpricks of blood let out. The pain fed his self-loathing which begged for release as it bubbled to the surface to break his carefully crafted visage. Even his glamour wore a mask. And he could feel it cracking. She was right. All of the pain, all of the lies, they were all his doing. Regardless of what he wanted to believe his obsession with revenge was leaking into the lives of his friends and he was hurting them. Hurting... I have never lied to you. And I will never lie to you. Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to stave it off, the torrent of pain he had released a few weeks ago. But it was bursting through his facade. The thoughts and the pain that accompanied them like a horrendous cacophonous tune overwhelmed him. He was everything he hated and more. She deserved not him, someone good and true. He was pathetic, evil, unworthy, a monster-- "Then do it!" It was her turn to look shocked, though she didn't strike, nor did she lessen the pressure of the blade. "Do it," he said with shuddering breaths. "You'd be performing a service. I'm poison, Maze. A cancer; I destroy everything I touch." First he upended Maze's life, next he broke the Detective's heart, then now possibly he ruined Dr. Linda's career. Everything, everyone he had rooted himself into were left worse than he had found them. He blinked away tears. "Please, Maze. Cleanse me from the Earth and save yourself, save everyone. Save Chloe!" For ages, she stared at him until just as suddenly as she had first struck him, she pulled away. "No," she said softly. Disappointed and confused, he stayed prone. "Why?" She paused, pensively slinging her knife back and forth in her fingers. "I told you, feelings don't make sense. You don't deserve this." She slung her knife toward him menacingly. "But you will fix this." "How?" Sheathing her blade, she reached for him. "Well for some reason, we believe in you. And even after everything you've done, Chloe still cares about you a lot." "I'm not worth it," he whispered, ignoring her hand. "Well, then become worthy. Be a man and fix your shit." "But I don't know how." "Well we're working on Linda. With Chloe, you can start by telling her the truth and let her decide what she wants." "I--" She screwed up her face in disgust. "Oh stop being a little shit! You owe her that much." She wasn't wrong about that. He smiled wryly and nodded as she helped him up. The air was settled between them, but Maze could hardly look at him. Friends or not, he was still technically her Lord. "Maze." Finally she reached his eyes and he looked at her fondly. "Thank you." She raised her eyebrow and rolled her eyes, but her smile was genuine. "Yeah, well, you're welcome." She gently nudged him with her fist. "I'll always be here to kick your ass when you need it." He chuckled. "I hope so." "Let's get cleaned up." He looked at himself and sighed. His poor suit. "Quite right." Then she punched him in the arm. "Ow! What was that for?" "I don't like talking about feelings." Lucifer chuckled as they made their way inside Lux. "Oh and Lucifer? Don't screw this up or I'll--" "I know; you'll kill me." "No, I'll just cut off another pair of appendages that I know you'll miss."

[thestarsofthenight]

Chapter 1: The Land of Hope and Glory

Fandom: Kuroshitsuji/Black Butler

Pairings: mainly Ciel Phantomhive/Elizabeth Midford

Summary: “There is nothing more ridiculous than living in a country in which an orange-skinned man won an election,” Francis had said, ending the Midfords four-year-long stay in the USA. Three days later, Elizabeth lives in gloomy London, wishing to be back in sunny LA, when a murder case suddenly turns her life upside down, entangling her with Ciel Phantomhive, his duty to the crown, and his school-intern detective agency...

Note: This is a retelling of the manga arcs (starting with the JTR arc) set in a Modern/School AU in which Ciel and McMillan have a detective agency at Weston (now accepting girls too) and Lizzy gets entangled with them after witnessing a murder. I hope you like it!

Navigation: Chapter Index

“The blood a hero sire hath spent/Still nerves a hero son.”

– A.C. Benson and Edward Elgar, Land of Hope and Glory

THE WHITECHAPEL COPYCAT ARC

London, England, United Kingdom – November 2016

“There is nothing more ridiculous than living in a country in which an orange-skinned man with dreadful hair won an election – and no, I don’t mean Oompa-Loompas, they are decent people,” Francis Midford had said, already packing together their things and thus ending the Midfords four-year-long stay in the USA.

If it had fully gone after Francis’ wishes, Elizabeth Midford would now live in Australia or Canada or perhaps even in a more exotic country, but Alexis Leon, her father, had managed to persuade his wife to go back to England, their old home – Brexit or not. After all, they had spent most of their lives there, were members of the old British gentry, and the history of their families was entangled with the history of the kingdom.

Therefore, Elizabeth was now running through the crowded streets of London, trying not to be late on her first day at her new school, while the stereotypical British rain was falling upon her. It was insane to change schools in the middle of the school year, but there had not been anything she could have done against it. At least, the school year had only started a couple of months ago. But it was still a bothersome procedure – a new school, new teachers, new schoolmates. Elizabeth had been with almost the same people in the middle and high school – but at her new school, the renowned Weston College, she didn’t know anybody besides her brother. She would be the stranger in a pile of already distinct groups.

Even if Elizabeth doubted that everyone at Weston would be a stranger to her.

Terribly wet and wishing that she would be back in Los Angeles, feeling the warmth of the sun on her skin rather than the stinging rain, Elizabeth finally arrived in the school’s main building. Its official name was “Pearl Swan,” but everybody called it “Grey House” rather than “White House” because that would have been incredibly ridiculous.

Before the 1920s, Weston College had only been open to males. But now, even selected “normal” people – the children of parents who were neither rich nor noble – could attend it. With the change of the school system, the house classification had been abolished, and Weston College had become a day school and wasn’t a boarding school anymore. Now, the former four dormitory houses – Scarlet Fox, Sapphire Owl, Violet Wolf, and Green Lion – inhabited different school subjects: In Green House, P.E. and the sport clubs took place. In Purple House, music, art, drama, and dance was taught. In Red House, the pupils learned languages, manners, and cooking; and Blue House was the home of every other subject.

Still, Weston College mostly allowed rich and noble children to wander through their ancient, historical corridors, and, therefore, the percentage of “normal” pupils was quite low.

Fumbling her timetable out of her magenta leather bag, Elizabeth hurried through the white marmoreal corridors of Grey House.

It was 9.25, and Elizabeth had only five minutes to find out to which house she had to go for her first lesson. (She had already missed both the registration and the assembly.) And if she didn’t find her timetable in her bag soon, she would be late because the four old Houses were scattered over the huge campus. She could have gone to any ordinary school, but, of course, her parents had had to send her to a school whose premises were larger than three or four football fields together. And only because it was a Midford tradition to enrol their children in Weston.

Elizabeth sighed. The timetable seemed to have vanished inside the depths of her lovely bag – and why did she have to oversleep for the first time in her entire life today of all days? (It had only happened because Francis hadn’t been there in the morning for a change. She had been called by her sister-in-law very early in the morning, and Alexis hadn’t realised that it had now been his duty to make sure that both of his children got to school in time.)

If Elizabeth hadn’t overslept, her older brother Edward could have brought her to school, and on the way, she could have calmly searched for her timetable. Everything would have gone smoothly, but, of course, the universe had decided to turn her life into a silly romance novel beginning today – only without the slice of buttered toast in her mouth.

Now, I only have to run into a boy for whom I would fall immediately. And I would fall for him in the most disgusting and unrealistic way which was possible. After all, he would be “the great love of my life” and just like every over stupid romance “heroine” I would be strangled by the red thread, Elizabeth thought – and promptly collided with someone.

Elizabeth’s bag slipped out of her hands and because the bag was open, most of her belongings flew out of it. She landed on the hard floor and when she looked up she gazed into the eyes – no, eye, he was wearing an eye-patch over his right one – of a boy who, she had to admit, was actually quite cute despite the circumstance that he looked a bit feminine. But “him being cute” was not enough to start the magical “falling in love” process. If it had worked, she would have dumbly stared at him, perhaps even drooling onto her clothes and the floor.

Thank heavens.

“Are you all right?” the boy she had collided with asked, standing up before offering her a hand to help her up.

Hell – he is even nice! Good that this is still the reality and not a cheesy novel.

Elizabeth took his hand, and while she rose from the ground, she said: “I am fine. Thanks for asking.” When she was standing in front of the boy to her full height, Elizabeth had to realise that he was a few centimetres shorter than her.

Then, before anybody could say anything, the bell rang.

“Dammit,” Elizabeth cursed silently, quickly collecting her belongings and aggressively throwing them into her bag – and there was her timetable! Lying on the ground beside her chemistry book. She resisted the urge to kick it furiously into the next bin and simply picked up both things before saying goodbye to the boy and running to get to art.

And, of course, Purple House had to be at the other side of the campus which a glimpse at a map told her.

Hallelujah.

***

Art had been terrible. Elizabeth had been forty minutes late because she had missed the bus driving from Grey to Purple House. The school grounds were seriously so large that there were even buses driving between the six main houses. (The buses were colour-coded to make sure everyone – even Elizabeth – could figure out where they headed.) Her art teacher, Miss Julia Fray, had not been very amused of the fact that her new student had missed so much of her lesson, and Elizabeth’s new classmates had stared at her as if she was an alien. (As if they had never been late themselves.) That she had been still soaked in rain hadn’t helped much.

Now, fifteen minutes later, Elizabeth left Purple House and got into a bus which should bring her to Red House for English Literature.

I just want to go home, she thought while hugging her magenta bag. I want to go back to Los Angeles. Trump or not. I want to go back to my normal daily life full of sunlight, not-being late, and Red Velvet Oreos.

After Elizabeth had dropped out and entered Red House, she had to face another problem: Where was the English Literature Room? There wasn’t any room number on her timetable, and there were too many people walking around for her to see any signs or maps. Elizabeth already accepted the fact that she would be late again – and then, she saw a brown-haired girl who had also been with her in art.

I guess, she must have Literature now too... right?

Elizabeth fought her way to the girl and tapped her on the shoulder. Immediately, she started to scream and whirled around, her eyes wide.

“Hi,” Elizabeth greeted her with a smile. “I am Elizabeth Midford. Do you know by chance where Miss Lucie Doyle’s class is?”

After the girl had stared at her for a couple of seconds, she nodded and visibly relaxed. “Hello. I am Paula Sergeant. I also have Literature now – just follow me.”

Lucie Doyle, a woman with friendliness shining in her pale blue eyes, approached Paula and Elizabeth when they entered her classroom on time.

She extended a hand to Elizabeth. “You must be Elizabeth Midford. I am Miss Doyle – your Form Tutor and English Literature and Language teacher. I missed you during the registration.”

With an awkward smile, Elizabeth shook Miss Doyle’s hand. “I am terribly sorry, Miss. I overslept this morning and was completely overstrained with the school’s layout.”

“That’s all right,” Miss Doyle meant, smiling at her. “It’s your first day at Weston College after all. Also, you came to London only a few days ago. That must have been very stressful.”

Actually, the Midfords had arrived in London yesterday. That’s how fast their moving had gone. Three days ago, Francis had decided to leave Los Angeles, and now there were here: around eleven hours and almost 9000 kilometres away.

English Literature went better than art – after all, Elizabeth hadn’t been late this time –, but she had to realise that, to her misfortune, they were doing something entirely different than what she had done in America a few days ago.

Clearly, it wouldn’t be funny to rework everything.

And again – hallelujah. Thanks for everything, stupid election. Thanks, Donald Trump’s hairdresser.

***

Paula showed Elizabeth around during the break between 11.35 and 12.00 after they had spent half of English Literature exchanging notes. Paula introduced her to some of their schoolmates – shy Joanne Harcourt (He was a boy! Was every boy in this school feminine looking? Elizabeth had to take notes.), dashing Irene Diaz, the star of the Drama Club, and Grimsby Keane, her boyfriend (Okay, not everyone.) – and pointed at the Student Council when they passed by. Edgar Redmond, Gregory Violet, Lawrence Bluewer, and Herman Greenhill didn’t only have stu... interesting names but also attended Onyx Raven, the university part of Weston which had been created during the school’s reformation in the 1920s. (The name “Onyx Raven” sounded like the title of a Pokémon game, with its counterpart being “Pearl Swan.”) Paula told Elizabeth that always four of the university students formed the Inner Core of the Student Council for the entire institute. The Inner Core members were called “Council 4” or “C4” for short. Then, there were also their deputies and assistants – Cheslock, Maurice Cole, and Clayton – who belonged to the Intermediate Core. The Outer Core consisted of two pupils of each school year. For Year 10, it were Irene and Justus Siemens.

Also, Elizabeth told Paula about Los Angeles: How her family had moved there in 2012. How they had originally planned to stay only for a year, but fell in love with the city and stayed three more years until the next election which had been nothing but a total train-wreck. A ridiculous match between pest and cholera, Dolores Umbridge and Joffrey Baratheon, Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey. No matter what you chose, you would always get something utterly horrible.

Elizabeth looked around to find out if Edward was somewhere, but she couldn’t see him, and then, the break was already over.

She trudged through a lesson of Chemistry (The teacher was seriously named Merlin Morgan. As if he was a book character) and P.E. (It was quite boring to not being able to participate, but her P.E. clothes were still in one of the million boxes filling their villa like furniture) until Lunch Break finally began.

Paula and Elizabeth went to the cafeteria which adjoined Grey House. Elizabeth hammered her head against the table in frustration, and Paula tried to calm her down. But there was nothing to calm her down.

During P.E. Elizabeth had gone through her bag and noticed that her diary was gone. Her diary.

She was none of these girls who carried their diaries everywhere – even to the toilet. The only reason why Elizabeth had brought her diary to school today was because she had put it into her bag for the flight. And because she had been in a hurry this morning, she hadn’t been able to remove it. And now, it was gone, and she had no idea where it could be. Perhaps, she had lost it on her run to school or somewhere on the school grounds – she didn’t know. Actually, Elizabeth preferred her diary to have gone lost in the rain somewhere in the streets of London over a schoolmate having found and now reading it. She wasn’t a person who poured all her heart into a simple notebook, but she would still die of embarrassment if someone read it. And today was her first day at the new school.

I think, things couldn’t go worse now. I was already at the absolute zero point.

“I am certain that you will find your diary, Lizzy,” Paula said. Elizabeth had offered her one period ago to call her “Lizzy.” At home and in Los Angeles, everyone called her “Lizzy.” It was weird to be called “Elizabeth” all day long.

Elizabeth stopped hammering her head against the table and looked up. “Paula – I am fine. Stop talking about it.”

“But you are definitely not fine,” Paula replied. “You were hitting the table with your head.”

“I am fine now. I stopped doing it, so I am fine.”

Her new friend sighed. “Whatever you say, Lizzy.”

Elizabeth let her gaze wander through the cafeteria, searching again for her brother. But then, her gaze froze at the entrance door – no other than Cute Shortie into whom she had run into earlier was standing there and talking to a boy with funny reddish brown hair and round glasses. Paula followed Elizabeth’s gaze and tilted her head.

“They are Ciel Phantomhive and McMillan,” she told Elizabeth. “They belong to the ‘Phantomhive & McMillan Detective Agency – Chocolate for Investigating.’”

Elizabeth frowned. “Detective Agency?”

Paula nodded. “You can go there if one of your things is missing or anything like that, and they solve your case in exchange of sweets. The one with the eye-patch is Ciel, the detective and the agency’s leader. McMillan is his secretary and assistant.”

“Why do you keep calling him by his surname?”

Paula simply shrugged. “Everyone calls McMillan McMillan. I don’t think anybody actually knows his first name. Not even the teachers.”

“O-,” Elizabeth started to say before cutting herself off when she saw Ciel noticing and approaching her.

Don’t tell me the “Red String Strangle Magic” had worked on him. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...

“You lost this earlier,” Ciel Phantomhive said to Elizabeth when he stood in front of hers and Paula’s table, handing her a blue velvet notebook with a soft Victorian pattern on it – her diary.

Okay – I have been wrong. I have just fallen beyond the absolute zero point.

Cute Shortie – I mean, Ciel Phantomhive – has read my diary. He. Has. Read. My. Diary. Hopefully, he just wanted to have my entire stock of Red Velvet Oreos which I had brought over from America and didn’t go around telling everyone about my diary’s contents.

I don’t pour my heart into it. Usually. But I did it once. On my darkest of days. And this entry contains my biggest secret nobody could ever know. And now, Cu- Ciel Phantomhive did, and who knows who would know about it soon? Or did already know?

Perhaps, I should give him the Oreos I have in my bag.

Wordlessly, Elizabeth took the diary. Ciel also didn’t say anything anymore and just went back to McMillan.

“Lizzy!” Paula exclaimed, blinking at the blue notebook. “Is this your lost diary?”

Like she had been mesmerised (Like there was a fairy sitting invisibly on her diary and looking into her unprotected eyes!), Elizabeth stared at her diary and slowly nodded.

“Yey! You have it back, isn’t it great? But why are you looking like the Earl has given you ectoplasm?”

I wouldn’t have this expression on my face if he gave me ectoplasm – ectoplasm was awesome.

Elizabeth’s confusion was strong enough to make her forget that her life was probably over now – and that after only fourteen years! She looked up and frowned at Paula. “‘The Earl’?”

Paula frowned back. “Uh... Ciel Phantomhive? The Earl of Phantomhive? The boy who came to our table a few minutes ago? Dark hair? A deep blue eye? Eye-patch?”

“‘Earl of Phantomhive’?” Elizabeth said, her eyes widening. “Do you mean that he already holds his family’s title? That he isn’t just, for example, the son of a Duke who was granted an extra title to his title of a Lord? That he is already the head of his family?”

Oh, God – I am the daughter of a Marquess and thus hold the title of a Lady. Cute Shortie, however, has already inherited his family’s “main” title – and the position as the family head – despite being in my age or perhaps even one or two years younger (probably not older, he is so short).

That he is holding this title means that his predecessor – most likely his father – is already dead.

“Uh... yes? He inherited the title after his parents’ death,” Paula told Elizabeth who could only stare at her with an open mouth. (Terribly unladylike, but then, they weren’t in the 19th century.)

Both his parents are dead?! I think I would die if Mum and Dad suddenly passed away in the foreseeable future. I couldn’t imagine living without parents at my age even though I know that there are far too many children in the world who have to live like that.

“Didn’t you know about it?” Paula asked, still frowning. “It was all over the news three years ago. ‘Head of the Funtom Corporation and Family Die In a Mysterious Fire.’ ‘Earl Phantomhive Son’s Ashes Not Found.’ ‘Who Burned Down Phantomhive Manor?’ ‘What Happened to the Company’s Heir?’ ‘Phantomhive Arsonist Still On the Loose.’ ‘Ciel Phantomhive’s Miraculous Return!’ ‘Where Had Ciel Been?’” she recited some of the news’ headlines. “The news about the fire was everywhere. For seemingly endless weeks, it flooded everything – the newspapers, the internet, the television... Everyone talked about it. Everyone wondered what happened to the missing ten-year-old boy. Groups of people searched for Ciel for weeks – until he magically returned. After his return, he was labelled ‘England’s saddest boy.’ Now, everyone is wondering where he had been and what had happened on the day of the fire.”

“Do they know it now? I mean, three years have passed after all.” Elizabeth had turned pale. This was even worse than she had imagined.

Paula shook her head. “No. Ciel refuses to talk about these topics, and his aunt does everything she can to ensure that the media does not harass him so that her nephew can live without having to fear that reporters jump out of every bush he passes by. There’s also a distant relative who leads Funtom Corporation until Ciel is old enough to do it on his own. He lost everything else on December 14, 2013 – his tenth birthday.”

OH. GOD.

“It happened on his birthday?!” Elizabeth yelled and quite a lot of people turned around to her. She ignored them.

Paula nodded with a sad expression on her face. “Yes. That’s why they are calling him ‘England’s saddest boy.’”

To hell – I doubt that THIS BOY could ever, ever read someone else’s diary, or at least, tell everyone about its contents.

First of all, he didn’t know me, and thus he had no reason to do anything like that to me. I didn’t go and punch him in the face today or anything like that after all.

Also, telling the world about someone else’s diary would not only draw attention to the diary’s owner but to the whistleblower too. And Ciel Phantomhive is DEFINITELY not a person who wants to draw a lot of attention to himself.

And the most definite argument: If he had seriously wanted to mortify me, he would not have given me back my diary. Of course, he could have made photos of the pages, but wasn’t keeping the diary more vicious? Also, Ciel didn’t seem evil or plotting or anything like that to me. He just seemed like a nice boy who wanted to give something he had found to its rightful owner.

I simply overreacted.

Elizabeth sighed in relief.

I am saved! My life isn’t over yet!

“I am going to get myself something to eat,” Elizabeth told Paula and stood up. “Should I get you something too?”

Paula shook her head and got out a lovingly filled lunch box. Just before Elizabeth walked to the food counter, she looked back to the cafeteria’s entrance – but McMillan and Ciel were already gone.

***

There is only one thing I was looking forward to when Mum announced that we would move.

With a wide smile on her face, Elizabeth ran all the way back to Midford Villa after the school had ended.

Alexis Leon Midford had brought the villa – a dream of black and white with five floors (counting the attic), one basement, three garages, and a huge garden with a pond – in 1997 after marrying Francis. Since then, the beautiful Victorian villa in Mayfair belonged to the Midford family. This had not changed when they had moved to the States – a convenient circumstance, considering their rushed return to England.

Elizabeth hurried through the enormous, brilliantly shining white entrance hall and up the red-carpeted stairs to get to her room. The new servants (their old ones had refused to leave America; Francis didn’t mind as she had been able to get new ones in no time) were running around like busy bees and packing out the many, many moving boxes. If they had also sounded like bees, a terrible noise would have gone through the villa and a policeman would be standing on the door because he had been called due to “breach of the peace.” Luckily, the servants did not make the annoying sound of bees while working. Getting into a fight with your new neighbours on your first day was never a good thing.

Elizabeth closed the door behind her and quickly exchanged the white and black school uniform with a pale orange knitted jumper, thick tights in pale rosé, and a black skirt. Elizabeth threw her school and exercise books out of her bag before grabbing the bag, her velvet coat which had a lovely, warm brown colour, her black boots and left her room again, putting on the coat and bag. She jumped around while putting on the boots when she passed by her father’s study.

“I am going out!” Elizabeth announced through the study’s opened door while getting into her left boot.

Alexis looked up from the newspapers he had been reading and frowned. “Didn’t you just come back, Lizzy? Can’t you eat something first?”

“I ate at school!” she yelled and hurried downstairs. She was out of the door before Alexis could reply anything.

When the Midfords had moved to Los Angeles, Elizabeth had been ten years old and too young to explore the city on her own. Now, back and fourteen, she was finally able to walk through the stunning streets of London all on her own.

I couldn’t await to meet London’s atmosphere, its life, in a new way – as a person different to the one who had left it all these years ago.

Elizabeth walked through Grosvenor Street before turning right into Bond Street before entering Burlington Gardens and some other streets – and twenty minutes later, she was standing in front of M&M’s World, every child’s biggest dream. It was the world’s largest candy store at 3250cm² – and Elizabeth was so happy to stand in front of it because there were only a handful of these stores existing in the world, and none in Los Angeles.

Just like A.C. Benson had said, England was really “the land of hope and glory.” Hope for almost infinite sweets. Glory for dentists.

How could she have lived in London for ten years without ever going here before?

Happily, Elizabeth entered Hea... M&M’s World, only to come out hours later with far too many sweets in her almost exploding bag. But actually, that wasn’t true: You could never have too many sweets. Just like you can never have enough sweets.

Perhaps, I should share some of my sweets with Cute Shortie. He may have enough money to buy M&M’s World (I quickly googled “Funtom Corporation” on my way to the candy store – he is truly one hell of a rich kid), but the gesture of someone giving him sweets out of nothing would certainly, hopefully, make him happy. At least, for a short amount of time.

Also, I have falsely accused him of being an arsehole who goes around and tells the contents of someone else’s diary. Cute Shortie may not know anything about it – I did it in my mind after all –, but I still feel that I owe him something as an apology.

It was already past seven o’clock (and because it was November, it was quite dark despite the glowing shop lights) and tomorrow was school, and perhaps, perhaps, Elizabeth should go home now..., but she had even resisted the urge to go into the Nickelodeon Store right next to M&M’s World... (Who had come up with that???) ... and she had always wanted to eat one of these famous Rainbow Bagels...

Before she knew what was happening, Elizabeth found herself on a Piccadilly Line train. She got out in Holborn and took the Central Line (The train was suffocatingly full!) to Liverpool Street. Fifteen minutes later, Elizabeth stood in front of Beigel Shop, Brick Lane. Would she walk down the Brick Lane, she would eventually arrive at Aladin – the restaurant serving London’s best curry. Even His Royal Highness, the Prince of Wales, had eaten there.

She would go there on another day. The temptation was big, though.

Elizabeth entered Beigel Shop (It was a 24/7 shop! Rainbow Bagels all day long forever!) and ordered twenty Rainbow Bagels. They were just the right things to buy on such a grey day. Also, she was certain that even Francis would like them.

Alternatively to the sweets, I could give Cute Shortie one of the bagels – but first, let’s see if Edward and Dad don’t eat all of them immediately.

With a bag full of warm bagels, Elizabeth walked through various side streets to get back to Liverpool Station. Of course, she could have gone back the same way she had come – but her city exploration trip had only consisted of two stops today (Damn you, amazingness of M&M’s World for stealing time like teeth!), and Elizabeth wanted  to have something of a little “adventure” to make her trip less lame. Good that she had her smartphone with her. Good that she was not afraid of the dark.

And then, right before entering the quietest side street of them all, she saw something terrible on its other end.

Elizabeth Midford, fourteen-years-old, with M&Ms and plushies in her magenta leather bag and a bag full of Rainbow Bagels in her hand, stared at the scene in front of her – and watched a figure clad in black brutally stabbing an already unmoving body.

[gilbertandanne]

AU College Fic. Farkle never figured out how Riley really felt about Lucas, so it never got out. Now she’s turning 21 and the gang decides to go to Las Vegas to celebrate. Sometimes what happens in Vegas doesn’t always stay in Vegas.

Rating: M (because of language, situations, and it’s Vegas, soooo yeah)

Pairing: Rucas

Word Count: 3,805

Cross-posted at ff.net            

Soundtrack (although not at all organized and subject to edits)

| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | J | Q | K | A | J |

                                        Chapter Five: Fever

The phone in the girls’ room blared promptly at 7 the next morning.  “I’m going to kill him,” Maya groaned as she rolled over.  She picked up the phone, mumbled a ‘thanks’ to the front desk, before she swiftly slammed it back on the receiver.  Her head fell back down on the pillow as she willed herself to be taken back to the magical land where it rained twenty-dollar bills on her.

A few short minutes later, a knock on their door sliced through the otherwise quiet room. “Girls, it’s time to get up!  I’ve got breakfast already out here!”

“I’m really going to kill him,” Maya mumbled as she slowly sat up.  “Thanks,” she called out grumpily toward the door.  She ran a hand through her hair as she glumly thought about the fact that she only got about four hours of sleep the previous night.

“I tried to tell you,” the annoying voice on the other side of the door called out to them.

Maya stuck her tongue out at the door before she glanced at the brunette who laid in the bed next to her.  “Riles, we need to get up before Farkle sends in an army after us.”  As Maya waited for Riley’s response, she pulled her hair back into a bun.  When she didn’t hear anything from her friend, Maya turned to her as she knit her eyebrows together. “Riles?”

A pitiful moan finally escaped the brunette as she buried her head deeper into her pillow.  Was last night some weird dream or did she actually get drunk and force the one guy she had been in love with for a third of her life to make-out with her in the hot tub?  

“And a good morning to you too, princess,” Maya smiled as she climbed out of bed.  “Are you hung-over?  Farkle said he had breakfast waiting for us.”

“I can’t go out there,” she mumbled before she pulled the comforter up over her head.  

“Why?”

Riley shook her head.  There was no way she would ever be able to live last night down.  Even the mere thought of the hot tub made her flush with embarrassment.  She had never been that forward with anyone, so why did it have to be with him?

Maya frowned as she tried to remember what had happened last night.  It took her a few moments, but once she was able to piece it together, her eyes widened.  “Riley…darling…what happened after you and Lucas went to the hot tub?”

Riley groaned as she rolled over onto her back.  She knew Maya would remember.  The blonde didn’t drink nearly as much as she, Zay, and Lucas had.  She knew that she would never be able to leave the room without confessing everything about her ultimate humiliation.  “I propositioned him.”

Maya couldn’t contain her grin as she hopped on the brunette’s bed.  “Oh my God!”  She reached for the pillow that covered Riley’s face.  “Tell me everything,” she commanded as she tossed the pillow to the side of the room.

Riley furrowed her eyebrows as she slowly sat up.  “We were…we were in the hot tub…and we started talking about high school and the last time we were forced to play seven minutes in heaven together.”  She paused.  “I told him…that I had never played…and that it was something I had always wanted to do.”

“And?”

“And…we played…” she looked down at the comforter, “three times.”

Maya’s smile morphed into a positively evil grin at Riley’s confession.  She had hoped that something would happen between the two of them during the trip, but she never imagined anything like this would happen on the first night.  “Are we going to have to drain the hot tub?”

“Don’t be gross,” Riley grumbled as she rolled her eyes.  “It was just kissing…a lot of kissing.”  When she looked back up at Maya, Riley could tell that she wasn’t convinced that was all that had happened.  “Ok, so maybe it was a little more than just kissing, but nothing…look, my chastity is still intact, ok?”

“So…what happened after you played twenty one minutes in heaven?”

“Fifteen,” Riley quickly corrected.  When Maya raised an eyebrow at her, she sighed.  “We talked for the first six minutes.”  She looked down at her comforter.  “After that…he casually reminded me that we were all drinking pretty heavily and that we might not remember any of it in the morning.”  She remembered that almost as clearly as the euphoric feeling that engulfed her when they kissed.  Riley’s lips formed a thin line as a new determination began to set in.  It wasn’t real.  None of it was.  That divine place only existed because of the alcohol they consumed, nothing more.  “It didn’t…he didn’t…it was nothing.”

“What?”  That didn’t seem right.  Maya had kept a pretty good eye on the Texan over the last few months.  Even though he was dating someone else, his eyes only lit up whenever he saw Riley.  Maya had been convinced that he was in love with her best friend.  Had she been wrong?  Was Lucas actually the ‘love ‘em and leave ‘em type’ that everyone seemed to think he was?

Riley sighed as she resigned herself to the fact that nothing was ever going to change between her and Lucas.  If anything was ever going to change, it would have happened last night.  “It’s…it’s ok.  You know, I’ve been wondering ‘what if’ for a really long time…I finally went for it…and…and now I know.  He and I are friends…and that’s…that’s gotta be good enough.”

Maya’s face scrunched up in anger.  “Screw that.”  She scrambled to get off of the bed.  She was livid.  She had decided as soon as she stepped foot on the plane that she was going to make it her mission to get Riley and Lucas together.  To find out that he chalked last night up to the alcohol infuriated her.  “You know what?  I’m not going to kill Farkle.  He did think to get us breakfast, but I am going to go hogtie a cowboy pig!”

“Maya!”  Riley quickly tried to get out of bed, to stop Maya before she made everything worse, but instead, her feet got tangled up in her sheets.  She didn’t even have time to yell as she swiftly tumbled to the ground.

The loud thud stopped Maya as soon as she placed her hand on the door.  She spun around to see her best friend completely twisted in her blankets on the ground.  She rushed to her side.  “Riley!  Are you ok?”

Riley laid there for a solid minute before she finally shook her head.  “Maya, I have to get over this.”  She slowly lowered her eyes to the blonde.  “I’ve pushed so many guys away because of him…because I compare them all to him.”  She shook her head.  “Maybe that’s the problem.  Maybe you can’t compare other guys to your first love because you can’t ever really replicate feelings like that.”  She slowly sat up.  “I need to get him…and last night out of my system.”

Maya scrunched up her face in disgust as she helped her best friend get back on her feet.  “Was it really that hot?  Wait…don’t tell me.  Wait,” she shook her head.  “Tell me.”

Riley pulled her hair tie out of her hair before she ran her fingers through her tangled locks.  How was she supposed to put emotions like that into words?  “It was an out of body experience.  I’ve never felt that…that kind of connection with someone before.  I could feel it in my toes, Maya.”  She shook her head.  “It was like I was suspended in space or something…that everything around us didn’t exist.  It was just us.”  She paused as she threw her hair up into a messy bun.  Initially, she thought that he had felt it too—that after so long, they were finally on the same page, but it was only the alcohol.  She groaned in frustration.  “It’s my birthday weekend.  We’re in Las Vegas. I have to get my mind off of him before I drive myself insane.”

Maya smirked.  “You want to go out and meet some guys, don’t you?”

She shrugged.  Riley was never the type to try to pick up guys.  She was still a virgin, for crying out loud.  Still, she wasn’t opposed to a little diversion.  Maybe she could find someone or something to pull her away from the awkwardness she was certain to have with Lucas.  “I’m not saying that I want to actively seek anyone out, but I don’t know…maybe if I can distract myself a little, this trip won’t turn into a complete disaster.”

“Maybe we’ll find some people tonight,” Maya smiled.  “Because I doubt there will be any hot guys hanging out at the Hoover Dam this morning.”

Her head ached and her heart hurt, and yet, she chuckled softly at Maya’s comment.  She never wanted to know what her life would be like without her best friend by her side.  Even when faced with the harsh light of morning, Maya always knew what to say to make her feel a little better.

Farkle and Zay were already halfway through breakfast by the time Maya and Riley came out of their room.

“You guys only have an hour until we leave,” Farkle informed them as they wandered into the dining room.

“Farkle,” Maya groaned as she opened up a cabinet in order to grab two coffee mugs.  “I love you and I’m so grateful for everything you’ve done for us on this trip.  I know that there is a certain time that we need to be there, so I’m letting it slide for now, but please remember that this is supposed to be a nice relaxing vacation.”  She sat one of the mugs in front of Riley.  “So…have fun.”

Riley said nothing as she reached for the coffee pot and poured her and Maya a cup.  The moment she realized Lucas wasn’t in the dining room, she relaxed slightly.  She knew she couldn’t avoid him forever, but maybe if she got a little bit of caffeine in her, it wouldn’t be so bad.

Zay watched the brunette as she poured creamer into her mug.  She seemed a little off—sad even.  “You ok, Riley?”

She looked up at him as she brought the mug to her lips.  “Yeah,” she gave him a small smile before she took a sip.  “Just a little hung-over is all.”

“That’s definitely going around this morning,” he smirked as he cut up his pancakes.  He was never one to delight in the misery of others, but he was grateful that he wasn’t the only one who still felt some of the effects of the previous night.

“How bad is yours,” she asked him as she sat her mug down on the counter.

“Just a headache,” he shrugged.  “Some more of this delicious food should take care of it.”  He smiled as he looked back at her.  “Tell me you aren’t too hung-over to go even harder tonight.”

She grabbed a plate and walked over to the huge spread of food on the table.  As she looked over her options, the corner of her mouth turned up into a smile.  “I turn 21 at midnight.  It’s my mission to do laps around you tonight, sir.”

“That’s my girl,” he chuckled before he took another huge bite of food.

“Where’s the other one,” Maya asked the guys as she sipped on her coffee.  She promised Riley that she wouldn’t say anything to Lucas about the hot tub, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t get to the bottom of what happened.  She just had to be a little more creative in her methodology.

“Lucas?  He went down to the gym about an hour ago.”  Farkle paused.  “I’m not sure that he ever went to sleep last night.”

“We were up pretty late,” Zay told Farkle as he reached for his orange juice.  “I know I finally passed out right after Riley and Lucas went to the hot tub.”

Riley cut her eyes to Maya as she silently prayed the blonde would keep her mouth closed.  None of this had to be a big deal, but she knew it would be blown way out of proportion if the guys knew.  It would be better for everyone if they could all just move on from last night.

As Zay sat his glass down, he looked back to Riley.  “Did anything happen?”

Riley wrinkled her nose.  “Of course not,” she lied as she pushed her food around on her plate.  She hated to lie to her friends, but she didn’t have any other option.  “After my alarm went off, I got up and went to bed.”  That wasn’t exactly a lie.  She did leave after her alarm went off—for the third time.

“Maybe he was too excited to sleep,” Maya offered as a smirk briefly graced her features.

“He hasn’t acted like it,” Farkle told the group.  “He seems…moody.”

“He’s been like that for awhile,” Zay added before his phone vibrated against the table.  “The older we get, the more serious he becomes.  Maybe he’s just stressed about school, you know?  He’s still not sure where he wants to go once we graduate.”  He lifted his phone in order to read the text message.  “Ah!  Awesome!”

“The hookers are a go for tonight?”  Maya quipped as she reached for a plate.

“Ha ha,” he answered sarcastically.  “No, it’s even better.”  He turned to Riley.  “You wouldn’t be opposed to a few other guests at your birthday blowout tonight, right?”

“Of course not.”  She furrowed her eyebrows as she sipped on her coffee.  “Who is it?”  Who could they possibly know in Las Vegas?

“Asher and Dylan.”

Riley’s eyes widened as she sat her mug back down on the counter.  “Asher and Dylan are here?”  

Zay nodded.

Finally, some good news.  She knew it would be hard to avoid Lucas with only five people around, but throw in a few of his oldest friends, and maybe she might make it through this trip without completely losing one of her best friends in the process.  “Oh my God…yes! Absolutely!  How long are they here for?”

“They’re leaving tomorrow night.”

“Tell them that I will be offended if they don’t hang out with us tonight.”  It had easily been a year since she last saw them.  They had all become pretty good friends over the years, and Riley always had a blast with them when they were around.  Maybe that was what she needed in order to distract her from the embarrassment of last night.

“Alright.”  Zay quickly typed a response before he sat his phone down.  “Tonight is going to be so much fun.”

The group fell silent as they heard the door open.  “There he is,” Zay announced as Lucas came into the kitchen.

His eyes immediately landed on Riley as he entered the dining room.  Riley looked up at him, but as soon as her eyes met his, she looked back down at the full plate of food in front of her.

“What’s going on,” he asked the group as he wrapped his ear buds around his phone.  He thought his workout that morning would bring him some clarity about the events of last night, but instead, he ended up with even more questions.  Did she remember it?  Did she enjoy it?  Was it completely alcohol induced or had this been building between them?  He knew that his feelings for her had only grown over the years, despite the fact that they had drifted apart.  Did she feel the same way?  Had he finally broken through the ‘brother’ label or did she think that it was all some huge mistake?

“Breakfast,” Farkle answered as he stood up.  He placed his plate on the bottom rack of the room service cart before he walked back to the kitchen to get another cup of coffee.

“I have a question for you,” Zay told Lucas as he sat his fork down on the plate.

Lucas slid his phone into his gym shorts before he looked at Zay.  “What is it?”

“Why didn’t you tell us that Asher and Dylan were here?”

Riley frowned. “You knew they were in town?”  That couldn’t be right.  If Lucas knew Asher and Dylan were in town, they would have been in the suite last night or at the very least, they would have all known about it way before now.

“I must have forgot,” Lucas easily lied as he walked over to the cabinet in order to grab a glass.  He didn’t want to get into all of that now, especially when he and Riley had some unfinished business.  If she knew the reason why he purposefully left them out, at least before they could talk about everything, he knew he would lose whatever slim chance he had with her.

“It’s a pretty big thing to forget,” Maya mumbled as she cut into her omelet.  Even though Riley had been slowly pushing Lucas away for the last several years, Maya knew that Riley was still closer to him than she was—although that didn’t necessarily mean that Riley knew him better.  Riley’s judgment was clouded by her insecurity.  Maya, on the other hand, could see right through him.  He didn’t forget anything—that much was clear.  A new theory began to take shape in the blonde’s mind as she watched Lucas pour a glass of orange juice.  Maybe he wasn’t blaming the alcohol for his tryst with Riley.  Maybe he was scared that she would blame it on the alcohol.  Maybe he was also aware of the same thing that Maya was aware of—that Asher Garcia had become very good friends with Riley over the years.  Perhaps the Texan was a little jealous?

Zay shook his head.  He couldn’t wrap his brain around the fact that Lucas knew their friends would be in town at the same time and didn’t say a word about it.  “What’s with you, man?  I get that you just broke up with your latest…whatever…but Asher and Dylan are two of our closest friends besides the people in this room.  How could you ‘just forget’ them?  We haven’t seen them since last December when they came to New York for Christmas.”

Lucas shook his head.  He really didn’t need a lecture about this on top of everything that happened last night.  Yeah, he knew Asher and Dylan were in Vegas.  No, he didn’t tell anyone about it.  He wasn’t exactly sure why, other than the fact that he had hoped to spend a little time with Riley on the trip, and the odds of that happening would shrink considerably if more people were around them.  After last night, all he wanted to do was to talk to her, to try to explain his side of their misunderstanding.  Knowing that she was probably mad at him about Asher and Dylan only added to his distress.  Why couldn’t they just talk everything out and move on?  “I’m sorry.  What do you want me to say?”

“What crawled up your ass, man?  I thought you wanted to have fun out here, but you’ve been beyond moody since we landed yesterday.”

Lucas glanced at Riley who had finally taken a small bite of her food.  She seemed completely disconnected from the conversation around her.  ‘Maybe last night meant nothing to her.  Maybe she doesn’t even remember.’  He sighed.  “I’m sorry.  I guess I’m just tired from not being able to sleep last night.”

“Picked a bad night for that,” Zay told him.  “Because we’re probably going to be up all night tonight.”

“Unless, you don’t want to go with us,” Maya filled in as she glared at the Texan.  “You can always stay here and sleep.”  While she was certain that whatever happened with him and Riley was some huge misunderstanding, she still was completely loyal to Riley.  If being away from him for a few hours gave Riley a little bit of relief and happiness, Maya was more than willing to offer that as a suggestion to the brooding Texan.

Lucas didn’t take the hint as he took another sip of his orange juice.  “I’ll be fine.  I’ll try to get a nap in on the way to the Dam and back.”  He watched Riley take two more bites of her food before she finally pushed her plate away.  He watched as she quietly started to walk toward the room she shared with Maya.  “Riley,” he called out.  He didn’t want to do this in front of everyone, but if not now, then when?  He knew that if she wanted to avoid him, she would easily be able to—especially with Asher and Dylan tagging along tonight.

Riley froze mid-step as she closed her eyes.  She clenched her fists as she forced herself to smile when she spun around to face him.  “Yeah?”

“I think we need to—“

“Lucas, it’s fine,” she interrupted.  “There isn’t any need to…we’re good.”  She wrapped her arms around herself.  “Ok?”  She couldn’t do this now.  She still wasn’t sure what to say or how to react.  She had been so careful over the last seven years—well, for the most part.  For one moment, she had a lapse in judgment.  For one moment, she forgot everything she had tried to fight for.  She knew that she was losing him from her life, but she wasn’t sure that the alternative would have been much better.  Was she content to remain silent and be in his life for the next two years or give into her feelings and get crushed in two months when he found someone else to better occupy his time?

His face fell.  “Yeah.”  Good?  He didn’t want to be ‘good’ with her.  He wanted to talk to her.  He wanted to explain to her that yes, he was intoxicated last night, but that the alcohol only lowered his inhibitions and gave him the courage to give into his feelings.  The alcohol didn’t make him do anything he hadn’t wanted to do since they were in middle school.  As he looked into her expectant eyes, he could tell that she didn’t want to hear any of it.  She wanted to forget about it.  She wanted to move on.  So, as he had since they were in 8th grade, he forced himself to remain silent.

Because that was what she wanted—that was what she needed.

Riley nodded in understanding before she turned around and walked toward her room.  As soon as she closed the door behind her, tears pooled in her eyes as she still felt the sting of his kiss on her lips.  

[bronovaseven]

Nina’s lyrics (soundtracks).

Skyfall (2016)

Skyfall

This is the end Hold your breath and count to ten Feel the earth move and then Hear my heart burst again

For this is the end I’ve drowned and dreamt this moment So overdue, I owe them Swept away, I’m stolen

Let the sky fall When it crumbles We will stand tall Face it all, together (2x)

At skyfall, at skyfall

Skyfall is where we start A thousand miles and poles apart Where worlds collide and days are dark You may have my number, you can take my name But you’ll never have my heart

Let the sky fall When it crumbles We will stand tall Face it all, together (2x)

At skyfall

Let the sky fall When it crumbles We will stand tall (2x)

Where you go I go What you see I see I know I’d never be me Without the security

Of your loving arms Keeping me from harm Put your hand in my hand And we’ll stand

Let the sky fall When it crumbles We will stand tall Face it all, together (2x)

At skyfall Let the sky fall We will stand tall At skyfall

Black Panther (2018)

All Of The Stars (ft. Kentorey Johnson)

Love, let’s talk about love Is it anything and everything you hoped for? Or do the feeling haunt you? I know the feeling haunt you KENTOREY JOHNSON

This may be the night That my dreams might let me know All the stars are closer All the stars are closer, all the stars are closer (2x) NINA

Tell me what you gon’ do to me Confrontation ain’t nothing new, to me You can bring a bullet, bring a sword Bring a morgue, but you can’t bring the truth to me KENTOREY JOHNSON

Fuck you and all your expectations I don’t even want your congratulations I recognize your false confidence And calculated promises all in your conversation KENTOREY JOHNSON

I hate people that feel entitled Look at me, crazy, ‘cause I ain’t invite you Oh you important? You the moral to the story, you endorsing? Motherfucker, I don’t even like you KENTOREY JOHNSON

Corrupt a man’s heart with a gift That’s how you find out who you dealing with A small percentage, who I’m building with I want the credit, if I’m losing or I’m winning On my momma, that’s the realest shit KENTOREY JOHNSON

Love, let’s talk about love Is it anything and everything you hoped for? Or do the feeling haunt you? I know the feeling haunt you KENTOREY JOHNSON

This may be the night That my dreams might let me know All the stars are closer All the stars are closer, all the stars are closer (2x) NINA

Skin covered in ego Get to talking, I get involved, like a rebound No control, no off switch in the way that you bringing me down It’s a turn off, get it away from me Know you mean wrong, keep it away from me And it’s all wrong, get it away from me yeah NINA

I just cry for no reason, I just pray for no reason I just thank for the life, for the day For the hours and another life breathing I did it all, ‘cause it feel good You could leave it all, if you feel bad Better live your life We are running out of time NINA

Love, let’s talk about love Is it anything and everything you hoped for? Or do the feeling haunt you? I know the feeling haunt you KENTOREY JOHNSON/NINA

This may be the night That my dreams might let me know All the stars are closer All the stars are closer, all the stars are closer (2x) NINA

Call Me By Your Name (2019)

Redbone

Daylight I wake up feeling like you won’t play right I used to know, but, now, that shit don’t feel right It made me put away my pride

So long You made a girl wait for some, so long You make it hard for girl, like that, to go on I’m wishing I could make you mine oh

If you want it yeah You can have it oh oh oh If you need it uh We can make it ooh If you want it You can have it

But stay woke Danger creeping (danger creeping) It gon’ find you Gon’ catch you sleeping (oh) Now, stay woke Danger creeping Now, don’t you close your eyes

Too late You wanna make it right, but, now, it’s too late My peanut butter, chocolate cake with Kool-Aid I’m trying not to waste my time

If you want it oh You can have it (you can have it) If you need it (you better believe in something) We can make it ooh If you want it You can have it aah

But stay woke (stay woke) Danger creeping (baby, creeping) It gon’ find you (gon’ find you) Gon’ catch you sleeping (catch you sleeping, now, yes) Now, stay woke Danger creeping Now, don’t you close your eyes

But stay woke (ooh) Danger creeping (ooh baby) It gon’ find you Gon’ catch you sleeping (gon’ catch you) Now, stay woke Danger creeping Now, don’t you close your eyes

La La Land (2021)

City Of Stars

(Whistle)

City of stars Are you shining just for me? City of stars There’s so much that I can’t see

Who knows Is this the start of something wonderful and new Or one more dream That I cannot make true?

(Whistle)

I Won’t Say I’m In Love

If there’s a prize for rotten judgement I guess I’ve already won that No man is worth the aggravation That’s ancient history, been there, done that SOFIA

Who you think you’re kidding? He’s the air, the heaven to you Try to keep it hidden Honey, we can see right through you THE MUSES

Oh no SOFIA

Girl, you can’t conceal it We know how you’re feeling Who you thinking of THE MUSES

Ooh no chance, no way I won’t say it, don’t know SOFIA

You swoon, you sigh Why deny it? Oh oh THE MUSES

It’s too clichê I won’t say: “I’m in love” SOFIA

I thought my heart had learned its lesson It feels so good when you start out My head is screaming: “Get a grip, girl Soon you’ll be dying to cry your heart out” oh ooh SOFIA

Girl, you can’t deny it Who you are is how you’re feeling Baby, we’re not buying Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling THE MUSES

Ooh SOFIA

Face it like a grown-up When you gonna own up That you got, got, got it bad? THE MUSES

Ooh no chance, no way I won’t say it, no, no SOFIA

Give up or give in Check the grin, you’re in love THE MUSES

This scene won’t play I won’t say, “I’m in love” SOFIA

We’ll do this, until You admit you’re in love THE MUSES

You’re way off base I won’t say it SOFIA

She won’t say it, no THE MUSES

Get off my case I won’t say it SOFIA

Girl, don’t be proud It’s okay you’re in love THE MUSES

Aah aah ooh At least, out loud I won’t say I’m in love SOFIA

Sha la la la la la aah THE MUSES

The Audition

My aunt used to live in Paris I remember, she used to come home And tell us these stories about being abroad And I remember she told us That she jumped into the river once, barefoot

She smiled, leapt, without looking And tumbled into the Seine The water was freezing She spent a month sneezing But said she would do it again

Here’s to the ones who dream Foolish as they may seem Here’s to the hearts that ache Here’s to the mess we make

She captured a feeling Sky with no ceiling The sunset inside a frame She lived in her liquor And died with a flicker I’ll always remember the flame

Here’s to the ones who dream Foolish as they may seem Here’s to the hearts that ache Here’s to the mess we make

She told me “A bit of madness is key To give us new colors to see Who knows where it will lead us? And that’s why they need us”

So, bring on the rebels The ripples from pebbles The painters and poets and plays

And here’s to the fools who dream Crazy as they may seem Here’s to the hearts that break Here’s to the mess we make

I trace it all back to then Her and the snow and the Seine Smiling through it She said she’d do it again

Her (2024)

The Moon Song

I’m lying on the moon My dear, I’ll be there soon It’s a quiet and starry place Time’s we’re swallowed up in space We’re here, a million miles away

There’s things I wish I knew There’s no thing I’d keep from you It’s a dark and shiny place But with you, my dear I’m safe and we’re a million miles away

Breakfast At Tiffany’s (2026)

La Vie En Rose

When he takes me in his arms And whispers to me I see the world in pink

Seemingly everyday words Become words of love And they do something to me

He has entered my heart A slice of happiness That I know the reason of

That’s all I need for me Me and him in life He promised me Swore for life in pink

Moon River

Moon river, wider than a mile I’m crossing you in style, someday Old dream maker, you heartbreaker Wherever you’re going, I’m going your way

Two drifters, off to see the world There’s such a lot of world to see We’re after the same rainbow’s end

Waiting, round the bend My huckleberry friend Moon river and me

Once Upon A Dream

My love I’ve seen you in the middle of a dream My love Such a sweet dream is a presage of love HOLLY GOLITH

Let’s both refuse our dreary and gray tomorrows And wait for the day of our happiness You’re my destiny, who I will always love The one I saw, once upon a dream HOLLY GOLITH

La la la la la la la la la la HOLLY GOLITH

We will wait for the day of our happiness You’re my destiny, who I will always love The one I saw HOLLY GOLITH

Once upon a dream PAUL VARJAK

Oh you surprised me HOLLY GOLITH

Forgive me, I heard your voice, I couldn’t help myself What is your name, if I may ask? PAUL VARJAK

It’s Holly HOLLY GOLITH

Mine is Paul PAUL VARJAK

My love You saw me in the middle of a dream My love Such a sweet dream can be nothing, but a presage PAUL VARJAK

Let’s both refuse our dreary and gray tomorrows And wait for the day of our happiness You’re my destiny, who I will always love The one I saw, once upon a dream HOLLY GOLITH/PAUL VARJAK

The Hunchback Of Notre Dame (2033)

The Bells Of Notre Dame

Morning in Paris, the city awakes To the bells of Notre Dame The fisherman fishes, the bakerman bakes To the bells of Notre Dame CLOPIN

To the big bells as loud as the thunder To the little bells soft as a psalm And some say the soul of the city is The toll of the bells, the bells of Notre Dame CLOPIN

Listen, they’re beautiful, no? So many colors of sound, so many changing moods Because, you know, they don’t ring all by themselves They don’t? No, silly boy, up there, high, high in the dark bell tower Lives the mysterious bell ringer, who is this creature? Who? What is he? What? How did he come to be there? How? Shush and Clopin will tell you It is a tale, a tale of a man and a monster CLOPIN

Dark was the night when our tale was begun On the docks near Notre Dame CLOPIN

Shut him up, will you? MAN

We’ll be spotted MALE GYPSY

Hush, little one FEMALE GYPSY

Two frightened gypsies slid silently under The docks near Notre Dame CLOPIN

Four guilders for safe passage into Paris MAN

But a trap had been laid for the gypsies And they gazed up in fear and alarm At a figure whose clutches Were iron, as much as the bells CLOPIN

Judge Claude Frollo MALE GYPSY

The bells of Notre Dame CLOPIN

(Kyrie Eleison) Judge Claude Frollo longed To purge the world of vice and sin (Kyrie Eleison) And he saw corruption everywhere Except for within

Bring these gypsy vermin to the palace of justice CLAUDE FROLLO

You there, what are you hiding? GUARD

Stolen good, no doubt, take them from her CLAUDE FROLLO

Dies irae, dies illa Solvet saeclum in favilla Teste David cum sibylla Quantus tremor est futurus Quando Judex est venturus

Sanctuary, please, give us sanctuary FEMALE GYPSY

A baby? A monster CLAUDE FROLLO

Dies irae, dies illa Solvet saeclum in favilla

Stop ARCHDEACON/CLOPIN

Cried the Archdeacon CLOPIN

This is an unholy deamon I’m sending it back to hell, where it belongs CLAUDE FROLLO

See there the innocent blood you have spilt On the steps of Notre Dame ARCHDEACON

I am guiltless, she ran, I pursued CLAUDE FROLLO

Now, you would add this child’s blood to your guilt On the steps of Notre Dame ARCHDEACON

My conscience is clear CLAUDE FROLLO

You can lie to yourself and your minions You can claim that you haven’t a qualm But you never can run from Nor hide what you’ve done from the eyes The very eyes of Notre Dame ARCHDEACON

Kyrie Eleison

And for one time in his life of power and control CLOPIN

Kyrie Eleison

Frollo felt a twinge of fear for his immortal soul CLOPIN

What must I do? CLAUDE FROLLO

Care for the child and raise it as your own ARCHDEACON

What? I am to be settled with this misshapen? Very well, but let him live with you, in your church CLAUDE FROLLO

Live here? Where? ARCHDEACON

Anywhere, just so he’s kept locked away Where no one else can see, the bell tower, perhaps And, who knows, our Lord works in mysterious ways Even this foul creature may yet prove one day to be of use to me CLAUDE FROLLO

And Frollo gave the child a cruel name A name that means half-formed: Quasimodo Now, here is a riddle to guess, if you can Sing the bells of Notre Dame Who is the monster and who is the man? Sing the bells, bells, bells, bells Bells, bells, bells, bells, bells of Notre Dame CLOPIN

Pocahontas (2037)

Colors Of The Wind

You think I’m an ignorant savage And you’ve been so many places, I guess it must be so But still, I cannot see, if the savage one is me How can there be so much that you don’t know, you don’t know?

You think you own whatever land you land on The Earth is just a dead thing, you can claim But I know every rock and tree and creature Has a life, has a spirit, has a name

You think the only people who are people Are the people who look and think, like you But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger You’ll learn things you never knew, you never knew

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned? Can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? Can you paint with all the colors of the wind? Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?

Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest Come taste the sun, sweet berries of the Earth Come roll in all the riches, all around you And for once, never wonder what they’re worth

The rainstorm and the river are my brothers The heron and the otter are my friends And we are all connected to each other In a circle, in a hoop that never ends

How high will the sycamore grow? If you cut it down, then you’ll never know And you’ll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon For whether we are white or copper skinned We need to sing with all the voices of the mountains We need to paint with all the colors of the wind

You can own the Earth and still all you’ll own is Earth until You can paint with all the colors of the wind

If I Never Knew You

If I never knew you If I never felt this love I would have no inkling of How precious life can be HARRY STYLES

And if I never knew you I would never have a clue How, at last, I find in you The missing part of me HARRY STYLES

In this world so full of fear Full of rage and lies I can see the truth so clear In your eyes, so, dry your eyes HARRY STYLES

And I’m so grateful to you I’d have lived my whole life through Lost forever, if I never knew you HARRY STYLES

If I never knew you I’d be safe, but half as real Never knowing I could feel A love so strong and true NINA

And I’m so grateful to you I’d have lived my whole life through Lost forever, if I never knew you NINA

I thought our love would be so beautiful HARRY STYLES

Somehow, we made the whole world bright NINA

I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong All they’d leave us were these whispers, in the night But still my heart is saying, we were right HARRY STYLES/NINA

If I never knew you NINA

There’s no moment I regret HARRY STYLES

If I never knew this love NINA

Since the moment that we met HARRY STYLES

I would have no inkling of NINA

If our time has gone too fast HARRY STYLES

How precious life can be NINA

I’ve lived, at last HARRY STYLES

Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh NINA

Yeah yeah HARRY STYLES

I thought our love would be so beautiful Somehow we’d make the whole world bright HARRY STYLES

I thought our love would be so beautiful We’d turn the darkness into light NINA

And still my heart is saying We were right HARRY STLES/NINA

We were right HARRY STYLES

And if I never knew you HARRY STYLES

If I never knew you NINA

I’d have lived my whole life through HARRY STYLES

Empty as the sky NINA

Never knowing why HARRY STYLES

Lost forever If I never knew you HARRY STYLES/NINA

Just Around The Riverbend

What I love most about rivers is You can’t step in the same river twice The water’s always changing, always flowing

But people, I guess, can’t live like that We all must pay a price To be safe, we lose our chance of ever knowing What’s around the river bend Waiting, just around the river bend

I look, once more, just around the river bend Beyond the shore, where the gulls fly free Don’t know what for, what I dream the day might send Just around the river bend for me, coming for me

I feel it there beyond those trees Or right behind these waterfalls And I ignore that sound of distant drumming

For a handsome, sturdy husband Who builds handsome, sturdy walls And never dreams that something might be coming Just around the river bend, just around the river bend

I look once more, just around the river bend Beyond the shore, somewhere past the sea Don’t know what for, why do all my dreams extend Just around the river bend, just around the river bend?

Should I choose the smoothest course? Steady as the beating drum Should I marry Kocoum? Is all my dreaming at an end? Or do you still wait for me, dream giver Just around the river bend?

Savages

What can you expect From filthy little heathens? Their whole disgusting race is like a curse Their skin’s are hellish red They’re only good when dead They’re vermin, as I said, and worse RATCLIFFE

They’re savages, savages ENGLISH MEN

Barely even human RATCLIFFE

Savages, savages ENGLISH MEN

Drive them from our shore They’re not like you and me Which means they must be evil We must sound the drums of war RATCLIFFE

They’re savages, savages ENGLISH MEN

Dirty, redskin devils RATCLIFFE

Now, we sound the drums of war ENGLISH MEN /RATCLIFFE

This is what we feared The paleface is a demon The only thing they feel at all is greed POWHATAN

Beneath that milky hide There’s emptiness inside KEKATA

I wonder if they even bleed NATIVE AMERICAN MEN

They’re savages, savages NATIVE AMERICAN MEN

Barely even human RATCLIFFE

Savages, savages NATIVE AMERICAN MEN

Killers at the core POWHATAN

They’re different from us Which means they can’t be trusted KEKATA

We must sound the drums of war POWHATAN

They’re savages, savages First, we deal with this one NATIVE AMERICAN MEN

Then we sound the drums of war NATIVE AMERICAN MEN/POWHATAN

Savages, savages

Let’s go kill a few, men RATCLIFFE

Savages, savages

Now, it’s up to you, men POWHATAN

Savages, savages

Barely even human ENGLISH MEN/NATIVE AMERICAN MEN

Now, we sound the drums of war POWHATAN/RATCLIFFE

This will be the day Let’s go, men RATCLIFFE

This will be the morning Bring out the prisoner POWHATAN

We will se them dying in the dust ENGLISH MEN/NATIVE AMERICAN MEN

I don’t know what I can do Still, I know I’ve got to try POCAHONTAS

Now, we make ‘em pay ENGLISH MEN

Eagle, help my feet to fly POCAHONTAS

Now, without a warning NATIVE AMERICAN MEN

Mountain, help my heart be great POCAHONTAS

Now, we leave 'em blood and bone and rust ENGLISH MEN/NATIVE AMERICAN MEN

Spirits of the earth and sky POCAHONTAS

It’s them or us ENGLISH MEN/NATIVE AMERICAN MEN

Please, don’t let it be too late POCAHONTAS

They’re just a bunch of filthy, stinking ENGLISH MEN/NATIVE AMERICAN MEN

Savages ENGLISH MEN

Savages NATIVE AMERICAN MEN

Demons ENGLISH MEN

Devils NATIVE AMERICAN MEN

Kill them RATCLIFFE

Savages ENGLISH MEN

Savages NATIVE AMERICAN MEN

What are we waiting for? RATCLIFFE

Destroy their evil race Until there’s not a trace left

How loud are the drums of war? POCAHONTAS

We will sound the drums of war

Now, we see what cones Of trying to be chums RATCLIFFE

Now, we sound the drums of war NATIVE AMERICAN MEN

Of course, it means the drums of war ENGLISH MEN

Is the death of all I love Carried in the drumming war? No POCAHONTAS

Funny Girl (2041)

A Piece Of Sky

Tell me: Where Where is it written What it is I’m meant to be? That I can’t dare?

It all began the day I found That from my window I could only see a piece of sky

I stepped outside and looked around I never dreamed it was so wide Or even half as high

The time had come To try my wings And even though it seemed At any moment I could fall

I felt the most Amazing things The things you can’t imagine If you’ve never flown at all

Though it’s safer To stay on the ground Sometimes, where danger lies There the sweetest of pleasures are found

No matter where I go There’ll be memories that tug at my sleeve But there will also be More to question, yet, more to believe

Oh tell me where Where is the someone Who will turn to look at me And want to share My every sweet, imagined possibility?

The more I live The more I learn The more I learn The more I realize The less I know

Each step I take Each page I turn Each mile I travel, only means The more I have to go

What’s wrong with wanting more? If you can fly, then soar With all there is Why settle for just a piece of sky?

Papa, I can hear you Papa, I can see you Papa, I can feel you Papa, watch me fly

Don’t Rain On My Parade

Don’t tell me not to live Just sit and putter Life’s candy and the sun is A ball of butter Don’t bring around a cloud To rain on my parade

Don’t tell me not to fly I’ve simply got to If someone takes a spill It’s me and not you Who told you, you’re allowed To rain on my parade?

I’m marching my band out I’ll beat my drum And if I’m fanned out Your turn to bet, sir Hey, at least I didn’t fake it Yes, sir, so what, I didn’t make it?

But, whether I’m the rose Of sheer perfection Or a freckle on the nose Of life’s complexion The cinder of a shiny apple Of its eye

I gotta fly once I gotta try once Only can die once, right, sir? Ooh love is juicy Juicy and you see I gotta have my bite, sir

So get ready for me, love ‘Cause I’m a comer I simply gotta march My heart’s a drummer Don’t bring around a cloud To rain on my parade

I’m gonna live and live now Get what I want, I know how One roll for the whole shabang One throw, that bell will go clang Eye on the target and bang

Hey, “mister doubt”, here I am

I’ll march my band And I, I’ll beat my drum And if I’m fanned out Your turn to bet, sir Hey, at least I didn’t fake it Yes, sir, guess I didn’t make it?

Get ready for me, love ‘Cause I’m a comer I simply gotta march My heart’s a drummer

No, they don’t know Nobody is gonna rain on my parade

My Man

Oh my man, I love him so He’ll never know All my life is just despair But I don’t care

When he holds me In his arms The word is bright All right

What’s the difference If I say I’ll go away When I know I’ll come On my knees, someday?

For, whatever my man is I am his forevermore

Oh my man, I love him so He’ll never know All my life is just despair But I don’t care

When he holds me In his arms The word is bright All right

What’s the difference If I say I’ll go away When I know I’ll come On my knees, someday?

For, whatever my man is I am his forevermore

The Man That Got Away

Do do do do ha ha ha la la la

The night is bitter The stars lost their glitter The winds grow colder Suddenly, you’re older And all because of The man that got away

No more his eager call The writings on the wall The dreams you dreamed have all Gone astray

The man that won you Has run off and undone you That great beginning Has seen the final winning Don’t know what happened It’s all a crazy game

No more that all-time thrill For you’ve been through the mill And never a new love will Be the same

Good riddance, goodbye Every trick of his, you’re on to But, fools will be fools And where’s he gone to?

The road gets rougher It’s lonelier and tougher With hope you burn up Tomorrow he will turn up There’s just no letup The live-long night and day

Ever since this world began There is nothing sadder than A one-man woman looking for The man that got away The man that got away

Why Don’t You Do Right?

You had plenty money, nineteen twenty-two You let other women make a fool of you Why don’t you do right, like some other men do? Get out of here, get me some money too

Now, if you had prepared, twenty years ago You wouldn’t be wondering out, from door to door Why don’t you do right, like some other men do? Get out of here and get me some money too

Why don’t you do right, like some other men do?

Anastasia (2046)

Journey To The Past

Heart, don’t fail me, now Courage, don’t desert me Don’t turn back, now that we’re here

People always say that life is full of choices No one ever mentions fear Or how the world can seem so vast On a journey to the past

Somewhere, down this road I know someone’s waiting Years of dreams just can’t be wrong

Arms will open wide I’ll be safe and wanted Finally home, where I belong

Well, starting now, I’m learning fast On this journey to the past, home, love, family There was once a time I must have had them, too

Home, love, family I will never be complete Until I find you

One step at a time One hope, then another Who knows where this road may go?

Back to who I was On to find my future Things my heart still needs to know

Yes, let this be a sign Let this road be mine Let it lead me to my past And bring me home, at last

Learn To Do It

You were born in a palace by the sea VLADIMIR

A palace by the sea, could it be? ANASTASIA

Yes, that’s right You rode horseback, when you were only three VLADIMIR

Horseback riding? Me? ANASTASIA

And the horse VLADIMIR

He was white DIMITRI

You made faces and terrorized the cook VLADIMIR

Threw him in the brook DIMITRI

Was I wild? ANASTASIA

Wrote the book DIMITRI

But you’d behave when your father gave that look VLADIMIR

Imagine how it was DIMITRI

Your long forgotten past VLADIMIR

We’ve lots and lots to teach you And the time is going fast DIMITRI/VLADIMIR

Alright, I’m ready ANASTASIA

Now, shoulders back and stand up tall And do not walk, but try to float VLADIMIR

I feel a little foolish, am I floating? ANASTASIA

Like a little boat, you give a bow VLADIMIR

What happens now? ANASTASIA

Your hand receives a kiss VLADIMIR

Most of all, remember this DIMITRI/VLADIMIR

If I can learn to do it You can learn to do it VLADIMIR

Something in you knows it DIMITRI

There’s nothing to it DIMITRI/VLADIMIR

Follow in my footsteps, shoe by shoe VLADIMIR

You can learn to do it, too DIMITRI/VLADIMIR

Now, elbows in and sit up straight VLADIMIR

And never slurp the stroganoff DIMITRI

I never cared for stroganoff ANASTASIA

Spoken like a Romanoff VLADIMIR

The Samovar DIMITRI

The Caviar VLADIMIR

Dessert and then goodnight? ANASTASIA

Not until you get this right DIMITRI/VLADIMIR

If I can learn to do it VLADIMIR

If I can learn to do it DIMITRI

You can learn to do it VLADIMIR

You can learn to do it DIMITRI

Pull yourself together And you’ll pull through it VLADIMIR

Tell yourself it’s easy And it’s true You can learn to do it, too DIMITRI

Next, you must memorize The names of the royalty Now, here we have Kropotkin VLADIMIR

Shot Potemkin DIMITRI

In the Botkin VLADIMIR

Oh ANASTASIA

And dear old uncle Vanya Loves his Vodka VLADIMIR

Got it, Anya? DIMITRI

No ANASTASIA

The Baron Pushkin VLADIMIR

He was? ANASTASIA

Short! DIMITRI

Count Anatoly VLADIMIR

Had a ANASTASIA

Wart DIMITRI

Count Sergei VLADIMIR

Wore a feathered hat DIMITRI

I hear he’s gotten very fat VLADIMIR

And I recall his yellow cat ANASTASIA

I don’t believe we told her that DIMITRI

If you can learn to do it I can learn to do it ANASTASIA

Don’t know how you knew it VLADIMIR

I simply knew it Suddenly, I feel like someone new ANASTASIA

Anya, you’re a dream come true DIMITRI/VLADIMIR

If I can learn to do it DIMITRI

If I can learn to do it VLADIMIR

If I can learn to do it You can learn to do it Pull yourself together ANASTASIA

And you’ll pull through it ANASTASIA/DIMITRI/VLADIMIR

Tell yourself it’s easy VLADIMIR

And it’s true ANASTASIA/DIMITRI/VLADIMIR

There’s really nothing to it ANASTASIA

You can learn to do it, too ANASTASIA/DIMITRI/VLADIMIR

Once Upon A December

Dancing pairs, painted wings Things I almost remember And a song, someone sings Once upon a december

Someone holds me, safe and warm Horses prance through a silver storm Figures dancing gracefully Across my memory (2x)

Far away, long ago Glowing dim as an ember Things my heart used to know Things I yearn to remember

And a song someone sings Once upon a december

The Nightmare Before Christmas (2047)

Finale

He’s all right CORPSE KID

Let’s shout, make a fuss Scream it out, wheee MAYOR

Jack is back, now, everyone sing In our town of Halloween

What’s this? CORPSE KID

What’s this? MUMMY

I haven’t got a clue HARLEQUIN DEMON

What’s this? MR. HYDE

What, it’s completely new CLOWN

What’s this?

Must be a Christmas thing WEREWOLF

It’s really very strange MAYOR

This is Halloween Halloween, Halloween, Halloween

What’s this? (8x)

My dearest friend, if you don’t mind I’d like to join you, by your side Where we can gaze into the stars JACK

And sit together, now and forever For it is plain as anyone can see We’re simply meant to be JACK/SALLY

Sally’s Song

Oh how I hope my premonition is wrong

I sense there’s something in the wind That feels like tragedy’s at hand And though I’d like to stand by him Can’t shake this feeling that I have The worst is just around the bend

And does he notice my feelings for him? And will he see how much he means to me? I think it’s not to be

What will become of my dear friend? Where will his actions leaves us, then? Although, I’d like to join the crowd In their enthusiastic cloud Try as I may, it doesn’t last

And will we ever end up together? No I think not, it’s never to become For I am not the one

The Prince Of Egypt (2059)

Deliver Us

Mud, sand, water, straw, faster Mud and lift, sand, pull Water and raise up, straw, faster GUARDS

With the sting of the whip on my shoulder With the salt of my sweat on my brow Elohim, God on high Can you hear your people cry? Help us now, this dark hour SLAVES

Deliver us, hear our call Deliver us, Lord of all Remember us, here in this burning sand Deliver us, there’s a land you promised us Deliver us to the promised land SLAVES

Yal-di ha-tov veh ha-rach Al ti-ra veh al tif-chad MOSES’ MOTHER

My son, I have nothing I can give But this chance that you may live I pray we’ll meet again, if He will deliver us MOSES’ MOTHER

Deliver us, hear our prayer Deliver us, from despair These years of slavery grow Too cruel to stand SLAVES

Deliver us, there’s a land you promised us Deliver us, out of bondage and Deliver us to the promised land SLAVES

Hush, now, my baby Be still, love, don’t cry Sleep as you’re rocked by the stream Sleep and remember my last lullaby So, I’ll be with you when you dream MOSES’ MOTHER

River oh river Flow gently for me Such precious cargo you bear Do you know somewhere He can live free? River, deliver him there MOSES’ MOTHER

Brother, you’re safe, now And safe may you stay For I have a prayer just for you Grow, baby brother Come back someday Come and deliver us, too MIRIAM

Deliver us, send a shepherd to shepherd us And deliver us to the promised land SLAVES

Deliver us MOSES’ MOTHER

When You Believe

Many nights we prayed With no proof anyone could hear In our hearts, a hope for a song We barely understood

Now, we are not afraid Although we know there’s much to fear We were moving mountains Long before we knew we could woah yes

There can be miracles When you believe Though hope is frail Its hard to kill

Who knows what miracles You can achieve? When you believe, somehow, you will You will, when you believe

Uhm yeah in this time of fear When prayer, so often, proves in vain

Hope seems like the summer bird Too swiftly flown away Yet, now, I’m standing, here My hearts so full, I can’t explain

Seeking faith and speaking words I never thought I’d say There can be miracles When you believe

Though hope is frail Its hard to kill Who knows what miracles You can achieve? When you believe, somehow you will You will, when you believe

They don’t always happen when you ask And its easy to give in to your fears But when you’re blinded by your pain Can’t see the way, get through the rain

A small but still, resilient voice Says hope is very near ooh ooh ooh

There can be miracles (yeah yeah yeah) When you believe (though hope is frail)

It’s hard to kill Who knows what miracles You can achieve?

When you believe, somehow, you will (now, you will) Somehow, you will (you know you will) You will, when you believe

You will, when you believe

[bronovafive]

Nina’s lyrics (soundtracks).

Lés Miserables (2012)

On My Own

On my own, pretending he’s beside me All alone, I walk with him, ‘till morning Without him, I feel his arms around me And when I lose my way, I close my eyes And he has found me

In the rain, the pavement shines, like silver All the lights are misty in the river In the darkness, the trees are full of starlight And all I see is him and me, forever and forever

And I know it’s only in my mind That I’m talking to myself and not to him And although I know that he is blind Still I say, there’s a way for us

I love him, but when the night is over He is gone, the river’s just a river Without him, the world around me changes The trees are bare and everywhere The streets are full of strangers

I love him, but everyday I’m learning All my life, I’ve only been pretending Without me, his world will go on turning A world that’s full of happiness That I have never known

I love him, I love him I love him, but only on my own

Cheese Trap (2015)

If It Is You

Why is it so hard for you To properly see me?

It shocks me to know How much I hurt because of you My days are a struggle Even my dreams are painful

If it is you, how can this be? How can the one for me Make me suffer like this?

If you hurt as much as I do Would you feel sympathy To this bursting pain? If I were you, I would just love me

My heart always seems so heavy And I’m afraid of everything that surrounds me

I heard love makes you laugh endlessly Who said that? The only love I know Looks at me with indifference

If it is you, how can this be? How can the one for me Make me suffer like this? If I were you, I would just love me

I know you’ve already answered me I understand the meaning of silence But I always pretend not to and I’m lingering

Do you know how I am these days? I can’t even fall asleep I haven’t been able to leave my house

As I look at you Can you feel how ruined I’ve become? It feels like I’m dying

Even though there’s no way you’ll come to me Even though I know you’re already somewhere else I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let you go

I’m Serious (ft. Day6)

Why, why, why Do I stare at the ceiling, every night? I, I can’t go to sleep When your face shows up in my head NINA

I gave you so many hints So you can notice, but you didn’t Why don’t you know? I really want to show you my feelings   JAE

I’m serious My eyes say that I like you Why don’t you feel it? My face is so obvious YOUNG K

Are you gonna keep acting ambiguous? Just laugh it off? Is this what you’re gonna do, everyday? Please, do something else To my heart that is only growing SUNGJIN

I can’t stop loving you

Should I just give up? I thought about it with eyes open, for several nights But I can’t, I can’t Because of you, my eyes can’t go anywhere else WONPIL

I try to start a conversation To figure out how you feel Trying to pass it off as a joke But why don’t you know? I’m only ever looking at you JAE

I’m serious My eyes say that I like you Why don’t you feel it? My face is so obvious NINA

Are you gonna keep acting ambiguous? Just laugh it off? Is this what you’re gonna do, everyday? Please, do something else To my heart that is only growing SUNGJIN

I can’t stop loving you

In the end I just made you listen to useless things WONPIL

And I let you go with a smile Why am I like this? Oh JAE

I’m serious My eyes say that I like you Why don’t you feel it? My face is so obvious NINA KIM/YOUNG K

Are you gonna keep acting ambiguous? Just laugh it off? Is this what you’re gonna do, everyday? Please, do something else To my heart that is only growing SUNGJIN

I can’t stop loving you (3x)

Skyfall (2019)

Skyfall

This is the end Hold your breath and count to ten Feel the earth move and then Hear my heart burst again

For this is the end I’ve drowned and dreamt this moment So overdue, I owe them Swept away, I’m stolen

Let the sky fall When it crumbles We will stand tall Face it all, together (2x)

At skyfall, at skyfall

Skyfall is where we start A thousand miles and poles apart Where worlds collide and days are dark You may have my number, you can take my name But you’ll never have my heart

Let the sky fall When it crumbles We will stand tall Face it all, together (2x)

At skyfall

Let the sky fall When it crumbles We will stand tall (2x)

Where you go I go What you see I see I know I’d never be me Without the security

Of your loving arms Keeping me from harm Put your hand in my hand And we’ll stand

Let the sky fall When it crumbles We will stand tall Face it all, together (2x)

At skyfall Let the sky fall We will stand tall At skyfall

La La Land (2021)

City Of Stars

(Whistle)

City of stars Are you shining just for me? City of stars There’s so much that I can’t see

Who knows Is this the start of something wonderful and new Or one more dream That I cannot make true?

(Whistle)

I Won’t Say I’m In Love

If there’s a prize for rotten judgement I guess I’ve already won that No man is worth the aggravation That’s ancient history, been there, done that SOFIA

Who you think you’re kidding? He’s the air, the heaven to you Try to keep it hidden Honey, we can see right through you THE MUSES

Oh no SOFIA

Girl, you can’t conceal it We know how you’re feeling Who you thinking of THE MUSES

Ooh no chance, no way I won’t say it, don’t know SOFIA

You swoon, you sigh Why deny it? Oh oh THE MUSES

It’s too clichê I won’t say: “I’m in love” SOFIA

I thought my heart had learned its lesson It feels so good when you start out My head is screaming: “Get a grip, girl Soon you’ll be dying to cry your heart out” oh ooh SOFIA

Girl, you can’t deny it Who you are is how you’re feeling Baby, we’re not buying Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling THE MUSES

Ooh SOFIA

Face it like a grown-up When you gonna own up That you got, got, got it bad? THE MUSES

Ooh no chance, no way I won’t say it, no, no SOFIA

Give up or give in Check the grin, you’re in love THE MUSES

This scene won’t play I won’t say, “I’m in love” SOFIA

We’ll do this, until You admit you’re in love THE MUSES

You’re way off base I won’t say it SOFIA

She won’t say it, no THE MUSES

Get off my case I won’t say it SOFIA

Girl, don’t be proud It’s okay you’re in love THE MUSES

Aah aah ooh At least, out loud I won’t say I’m in love SOFIA

Sha la la la la la aah THE MUSES

The Audition

My aunt used to live in Paris I remember, she used to come home And tell us these stories about being abroad And I remember she told us That she jumped into the river once, barefoot

She smiled, leapt, without looking And tumbled into the Seine The water was freezing She spent a month sneezing But said she would do it again

Here’s to the ones who dream Foolish as they may seem Here’s to the hearts that ache Here’s to the mess we make

She captured a feeling Sky with no ceiling The sunset inside a frame She lived in her liquor And died with a flicker I’ll always remember the flame

Here’s to the ones who dream Foolish as they may seem Here’s to the hearts that ache Here’s to the mess we make

She told me “A bit of madness is key To give us new colors to see Who knows where it will lead us? And that’s why they need us”

So, bring on the rebels The ripples from pebbles The painters and poets and plays

And here’s to the fools who dream Crazy as they may seem Here’s to the hearts that break Here’s to the mess we make

I trace it all back to then Her and the snow and the Seine Smiling through it She said she’d do it again

Call Me By Your Name (2023)

Redbone

Daylight I wake up feeling like you won’t play right I used to know, but now that shit don’t feel right It made me put away my pride

So long You made a girl wait for some, so long You make it hard for girl, like that, to go on I’m wishing I could make you mine oh

If you want it yeah You can have it oh oh oh If you need it uh We can make it ooh If you want it You can have it

But stay woke Danger creeping (danger creeping) It gon’ find you Gon’ catch you sleeping (oh) Now, stay woke Danger creeping Now, don’t you close your eyes

Too late You wanna make it right, but, now, it’s too late My peanut butter, chocolate cake with Kool-Aid I’m trying not to waste my time

If you want it oh You can have it (you can have it) If you need it (you better believe in something) We can make it ooh If you want it You can have it aah

But stay woke (stay woke) Danger creeping (baby, creeping) It gon’ find you (gon’ find you) Gon’ catch you sleeping (catch you sleeping, now, yes) Now, stay woke Danger creeping Now, don’t you close your eyes

But stay woke (ooh) Danger creeping (ooh baby) It gon’ find you Gon’ catch you sleeping (gon’ catch you) Now, stay woke Danger creeping Now, don’t you close your eyes

Her (2024)

The Moon Song

I’m lying on the moon My dear, I’ll be there soon It’s a quiet and starry place Time’s we’re swallowed up in space We’re here, a million miles away

There’s things I wish I knew There’s no thing I’d keep from you It’s a dark and shiny place But with you, my dear I’m safe and we’re a million miles away

Breakfast At Tiffany’s (2026)

La Vie En Rose

When he takes me in his arms And whispers to me I see the world in pink

Seemingly everyday words Become words of love And they do something to me

He has entered my heart A slice of happiness That I know the reason of

That’s all I need for me Me and him in life He promised me Swore for life in pink

Moon River

Moon river, wider than a mile I’m crossing you in style, someday Old dream maker, you heartbreaker Wherever you’re going, I’m going your way

Two drifters, off to see the world There’s such a lot of world to see We’re after the same rainbow’s end

Waiting, round the bend My huckleberry friend Moon river and me

Once Upon A Dream

My love I’ve seen you in the middle of a dream My love Such a sweet dream is a presage of love HOLLY GOLITH

Let’s both refuse our dreary and gray tomorrows And wait for the day of our happiness You’re my destiny, who I will always love The one I saw, once upon a dream HOLLY GOLITH

La la la la la la la la la la HOLLY GOLITH

We will wait for the day of our happiness You’re my destiny, who I will always love The one I saw HOLLY GOLITH

Once upon a dream PAUL VARJAK

Oh you surprised me HOLLY GOLITH

Forgive me, I heard your voice, I couldn’t help myself What is your name, if I may ask? PAUL VARJAK

It’s Holly HOLLY GOLITH

Mine is Paul PAUL VARJAK

My love You saw me in the middle of a dream My love Such a sweet dream can be nothing, but a presage PAUL VARJAK

Let’s both refuse our dreary and gray tomorrows And wait for the day of our happiness You’re my destiny, who I will always love The one I saw, once upon a dream HOLLY GOLITH/PAUL VARJAK

Goblin: The Great And Lonely God (2031)

Lost Love

Your beautiful eyes made me speechless But you turned your back to me I don’t think you even know what sadness is

I forgot what words to say To ask you to come back But how could I forget What made me fall in love, in the first place?

As if there’s not even enough time to linger You’ve completely left me ooh

I’m sitting on remorse and regret When I miss our lost love What am I supposed to do, now?

I forgot what words to say To ask you to come back But how could I forget What made me fall in love, in the first place?

As if there’s not even enough time to linger You’ve completely left me ooh

I’m sitting on remorse and regret When I miss our lost love What am I supposed to do, now? Ooh ooh ooh

I miss you, miss you

I’m sitting on remorse and regret When I miss our lost love What am I supposed to do, now?

When I miss our lost love What am I supposed to do, now? Ooh yeah yeah

You Are

For a long time, in my heart Full of clouds, it rains For warm sun to shine I sincerely prayed

Raindrops that wet my shoulder When I dried myself, alone I was so afraid of what would remain

You are like a light, after the rain has passed You come up in my heart, like this

‘Cause you are the light that fell on me You are a beautiful dream With seven rays, the whole world Is dyed even more beautifully, always Yeah you are

On top of an empty green hill The rainbow becomes a roof I lay still, underneath it And look at the sky

This happiness I felt for the first time With peacefulness in the world More loveable than anything else When I turn my head at your smile Unknowingly, I reached my hand out, like this

‘Cause you are the light that fell on me You are a beautiful dream With seven rays, the whole world Is dyed even more beautifully, always Yeah you are

When the rain that wets my windows, stops Under the rainbow, I hope you’re waiting The stories I couldn’t tell All of the secrets I couldn’t say I want to deliver them, today

You are always beside me You are inside of my tender heart Even more shiny and beautiful Filling the night sky You’re my star yeah you are Ooh ooh you are, you are, you are

The Hunchback Of Notre Dame (2033)

The Bells Of Notre Dame

Morning in Paris, the city awakes To the bells of Notre Dame The fisherman fishes, the bakerman bakes To the bells of Notre Dame CLOPIN

To the big bells as loud as the thunder To the little bells soft as a psalm And some say the soul of the city is The toll of the bells, the bells of Notre Dame CLOPIN

Listen, they’re beautiful, no? So many colors of sound, so many changing moods Because, you know, they don’t ring all by themselves They don’t? No, silly boy, up there, high, high in the dark bell tower Lives the mysterious bell ringer, who is this creature? Who? What is he? What? How did he come to be there? How? Shush and Clopin will tell you It is a tale, a tale of a man and a monster CLOPIN

Dark was the night when our tale was begun On the docks near Notre Dame CLOPIN

Shut him up, will you? MAN

We’ll be spotted MALE GYPSY

Hush, little one FEMALE GYPSY

Two frightened gypsies slid silently under The docks near Notre Dame CLOPIN

Four guilders for safe passage into Paris MAN

But a trap had been laid for the gypsies And they gazed up in fear and alarm At a figure whose clutches Were iron, as much as the bells CLOPIN

Judge Claude Frollo MALE GYPSY

The bells of Notre Dame CLOPIN

(Kyrie Eleison) Judge Claude Frollo longed To purge the world of vice and sin (Kyrie Eleison) And he saw corruption everywhere Except for within

Bring these gypsy vermin to the palace of justice CLAUDE FROLLO

You there, what are you hiding? GUARD

Stolen good, no doubt, take them from her CLAUDE FROLLO

Dies irae, dies illa Solvet saeclum in favilla Teste David cum sibylla Quantus tremor est futurus Quando Judex est venturus

Sanctuary, please, give us sanctuary FEMALE GYPSY

A baby? A monster CLAUDE FROLLO

Dies irae, dies illa Solvet saeclum in favilla

Stop ARCHDEACON/CLOPIN

Cried the Archdeacon CLOPIN

This is an unholy deamon I’m sending it back to hell, where it belongs CLAUDE FROLLO

See there the innocent blood you have spilt On the steps of Notre Dame ARCHDEACON

I am guiltless, she ran, I pursued CLAUDE FROLLO

Now, you would add this child’s blood to your guilt On the steps of Notre Dame ARCHDEACON

My conscience is clear CLAUDE FROLLO

You can lie to yourself and your minions You can claim that you haven’t a qualm But you never can run from Nor hide what you’ve done from the eyes The very eyes of Notre Dame ARCHDEACON

Kyrie Eleison

And for one time in his life of power and control CLOPIN

Kyrie Eleison

Frollo felt a twinge of fear for his immortal soul CLOPIN

What must I do? CLAUDE FROLLO

Care for the child and raise it as your own ARCHDEACON

What? I am to be settled with this misshapen? Very well, but let him live with you, in your church CLAUDE FROLLO

Live here? Where? ARCHDEACON

Anywhere, just so he’s kept locked away Where no one else can see, the bell tower, perhaps And, who knows, our Lord works in mysterious ways Even this foul creature may yet prove one day to be of use to me CLAUDE FROLLO

And Frollo gave the child a cruel name A name that means half-formed: Quasimodo Now, here is a riddle to guess, if you can Sing the bells of Notre Dame Who is the monster and who is the man? Sing the bells, bells, bells, bells Bells, bells, bells, bells, bells of Notre Dame CLOPIN

Pocahontas (2037)

Colors Of The Wind

You think I’m an ignorant savage And you’ve been so many places, I guess it must be so But still, I cannot see, if the savage one is me How can there be so much that you don’t know, you don’t know?

You think you own whatever land you land on The Earth is just a dead thing, you can claim But I know every rock and tree and creature Has a life, has a spirit, has a name

You think the only people who are people Are the people who look and think, like you But if you walk the footsteps of a stranger You’ll learn things you never knew, you never knew

Have you ever heard the wolf cry to the blue corn moon Or asked the grinning bobcat why he grinned? Can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? Can you paint with all the colors of the wind? Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?

Come run the hidden pine trails of the forest Come taste the sun, sweet berries of the Earth Come roll in all the riches, all around you And for once, never wonder what they’re worth

The rainstorm and the river are my brothers The heron and the otter are my friends And we are all connected to each other In a circle, in a hoop that never ends

How high will the sycamore grow? If you cut it down, then you’ll never know And you’ll never hear the wolf cry to the blue corn moon For whether we are white or copper skinned We need to sing with all the voices of the mountains We need to paint with all the colors of the wind

You can own the Earth and still all you’ll own is Earth until You can paint with all the colors of the wind

If I Never Knew You

If I never knew you If I never felt this love I would have no inkling of How precious life can be HARRY STYLES

And if I never knew you I would never have a clue How, at last, I find in you The missing part of me HARRY STYLES

In this world so full of fear Full of rage and lies I can see the truth so clear In your eyes, so, dry your eyes HARRY STYLES

And I’m so grateful to you I’d have lived my whole life through Lost forever, if I never knew you HARRY STYLES

If I never knew you I’d be safe, but half as real Never knowing I could feel A love so strong and true NINA

And I’m so grateful to you I’d have lived my whole life through Lost forever, if I never knew you NINA

I thought our love would be so beautiful HARRY STYLES

Somehow, we made the whole world bright NINA

I never knew that fear and hate could be so strong All they’d leave us were these whispers, in the night But still my heart is saying, we were right HARRY STYLES/NINA

If I never knew you NINA

There’s no moment I regret HARRY STYLES

If I never knew this love NINA

Since the moment that we met HARRY STYLES

I would have no inkling of NINA

If our time has gone too fast HARRY STYLES

How precious life can be NINA

I’ve lived, at last HARRY STYLES

Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh NINA

Yeah yeah HARRY STYLES

I thought our love would be so beautiful Somehow we’d make the whole world bright HARRY STYLES

I thought our love would be so beautiful We’d turn the darkness into light NINA

And still my heart is saying We were right HARRY STLES/NINA

We were right HARRY STYLES

And if I never knew you HARRY STYLES

If I never knew you NINA

I’d have lived my whole life through HARRY STYLES

Empty as the sky NINA

Never knowing why HARRY STYLES

Lost forever If I never knew you HARRY STYLES/NINA

Just Around The Riverbend

What I love most about rivers is You can’t step in the same river twice The water’s always changing, always flowing

But people, I guess, can’t live like that We all must pay a price To be safe, we lose our chance of ever knowing What’s around the river bend Waiting, just around the river bend

I look, once more, just around the river bend Beyond the shore, where the gulls fly free Don’t know what for, what I dream the day might send Just around the river bend for me, coming for me

I feel it there beyond those trees Or right behind these waterfalls And I ignore that sound of distant drumming

For a handsome, sturdy husband Who builds handsome, sturdy walls And never dreams that something might be coming Just around the river bend, just around the river bend

I look once more, just around the river bend Beyond the shore, somewhere past the sea Don’t know what for, why do all my dreams extend Just around the river bend, just around the river bend?

Should I choose the smoothest course? Steady as the beating drum Should I marry Kocoum? Is all my dreaming at an end? Or do you still wait for me, dream giver Just around the river bend?

Savages

What can you expect From filthy little heathens? Their whole disgusting race is like a curse Their skin’s are hellish red They’re only good when dead They’re vermin, as I said, and worse RATCLIFFE

They’re savages, savages ENGLISH MEN

Barely even human RATCLIFFE

Savages, savages ENGLISH MEN

Drive them from our shore They’re not like you and me Which means they must be evil We must sound the drums of war RATCLIFFE

They’re savages, savages ENGLISH MEN

Dirty, redskin devils RATCLIFFE

Now, we sound the drums of war ENGLISH MEN /RATCLIFFE

This is what we feared The paleface is a demon The only thing they feel at all is greed POWHATAN

Beneath that milky hide There’s emptiness inside KEKATA

I wonder if they even bleed NATIVE AMERICAN MEN

They’re savages, savages NATIVE AMERICAN MEN

Barely even human RATCLIFFE

Savages, savages NATIVE AMERICAN MEN

Killers at the core POWHATAN

They’re different from us Which means they can’t be trusted KEKATA

We must sound the drums of war POWHATAN

They’re savages, savages First, we deal with this one NATIVE AMERICAN MEN

Then we sound the drums of war NATIVE AMERICAN MEN/POWHATAN

Savages, savages

Let’s go kill a few, men RATCLIFFE

Savages, savages

Now, it’s up to you, men POWHATAN

Savages, savages

Barely even human ENGLISH MEN/NATIVE AMERICAN MEN

Now, we sound the drums of war POWHATAN/RATCLIFFE

This will be the day Let’s go, men RATCLIFFE

This will be the morning Bring out the prisoner POWHATAN

We will se them dying in the dust ENGLISH MEN/NATIVE AMERICAN MEN

I don’t know what I can do Still, I know I’ve got to try POCAHONTAS

Now, we make ‘em pay ENGLISH MEN

Eagle, help my feet to fly POCAHONTAS

Now, without a warning NATIVE AMERICAN MEN

Mountain, help my heart be great POCAHONTAS

Now, we leave 'em blood and bone and rust ENGLISH MEN/NATIVE AMERICAN MEN

Spirits of the earth and sky POCAHONTAS

It’s them or us ENGLISH MEN/NATIVE AMERICAN MEN

Please, don’t let it be too late POCAHONTAS

They’re just a bunch of filthy, stinking ENGLISH MEN/NATIVE AMERICAN MEN

Savages ENGLISH MEN

Savages NATIVE AMERICAN MEN

Demons ENGLISH MEN

Devils NATIVE AMERICAN MEN

Kill them RATCLIFFE

Savages ENGLISH MEN

Savages NATIVE AMERICAN MEN

What are we waiting for? RATCLIFFE

Destroy their evil race Until there’s not a trace left

How loud are the drums of war? POCAHONTAS

We will sound the drums of war

Now, we see what cones Of trying to be chums RATCLIFFE

Now, we sound the drums of war NATIVE AMERICAN MEN

Of course, it means the drums of war ENGLISH MEN

Is the death of all I love Carried in the drumming war? No POCAHONTAS

Funny Girl (2042)

A Piece Of Sky

Tell me: Where Where is it written What it is I’m meant to be? That I can’t dare?

It all began the day I found That from my window I could only see a piece of sky

I stepped outside and looked around I never dreamed it was so wide Or even half as high

The time had come To try my wings And even though it seemed At any moment I could fall

I felt the most Amazing things The things you can’t imagine If you’ve never flown at all

Though it’s safer To stay on the ground Sometimes, where danger lies There the sweetest of pleasures are found

No matter where I go There’ll be memories that tug at my sleeve But there will also be More to question, yet, more to believe

Oh tell me where Where is the someone Who will turn to look at me And want to share My every sweet, imagined possibility?

The more I live The more I learn The more I learn The more I realize The less I know

Each step I take Each page I turn Each mile I travel, only means The more I have to go

What’s wrong with wanting more? If you can fly, then soar With all there is Why settle for just a piece of sky?

Papa, I can hear you Papa, I can see you Papa, I can feel you Papa, watch me fly

Don’t Rain On My Parade

Don’t tell me not to live Just sit and putter Life’s candy and the sun is A ball of butter Don’t bring around a cloud To rain on my parade

Don’t tell me not to fly I’ve simply got to If someone takes a spill It’s me and not you Who told you, you’re allowed To rain on my parade?

I’m marching my band out I’ll beat my drum And if I’m fanned out Your turn to bet, sir Hey, at least I didn’t fake it Yes, sir, so what, I didn’t make it?

But, whether I’m the rose Of sheer perfection Or a freckle on the nose Of life’s complexion The cinder of a shiny apple Of its eye

I gotta fly once I gotta try once Only can die once, right, sir? Ooh love is juicy Juicy and you see I gotta have my bite, sir

So get ready for me, love ‘Cause I’m a comer I simply gotta march My heart’s a drummer Don’t bring around a cloud To rain on my parade

I’m gonna live and live now Get what I want, I know how One roll for the whole shabang One throw, that bell will go clang Eye on the target and bang

Hey, “mister doubt”, here I am

I’ll march my band And I, I’ll beat my drum And if I’m fanned out Your turn to bet, sir Hey, at least I didn’t fake it Yes, sir, guess I didn’t make it?

Get ready for me, love ‘Cause I’m a comer I simply gotta march My heart’s a drummer

No, they don’t know Nobody is gonna rain on my parade

My Man

Oh my man, I love him so He’ll never know All my life is just despair But I don’t care

When he holds me In his arms The word is bright All right

What’s the difference If I say I’ll go away When I know I’ll come On my knees, someday?

For, whatever my man is I am his forevermore

Oh my man, I love him so He’ll never know All my life is just despair But I don’t care

When he holds me In his arms The word is bright All right

What’s the difference If I say I’ll go away When I know I’ll come On my knees, someday?

For, whatever my man is I am his forevermore

The Man That Got Away

Do do do do ha ha ha la la la

The night is bitter The stars lost their glitter The winds grow colder Suddenly, you’re older And all because of The man that got away

No more his eager call The writings on the wall The dreams you dreamed have all Gone astray

The man that won you Has run off and undone you That great beginning Has seen the final winning Don’t know what happened It’s all a crazy game

No more that all-time thrill For you’ve been through the mill And never a new love will Be the same

Good riddance, goodbye Every trick of his, you’re on to But, fools will be fools And where’s he gone to?

The road gets rougher It’s lonelier and tougher With hope you burn up Tomorrow he will turn up There’s just no letup The live-long night and day

Ever since this world began There is nothing sadder than A one-man woman looking for The man that got away The man that got away

Why Don’t You Do Right?

You had plenty money, nineteen twenty-two You let other women make a fool of you Why don’t you do right, like some other men do? Get out of here, get me some money too

Now, if you had prepared, twenty years ago You wouldn’t be wondering out, from door to door Why don’t you do right, like some other men do? Get out of here and get me some money too

Why don’t you do right, like some other men do?

Anastasia (2046)

Journey To The Past

Heart, don’t fail me, now Courage, don’t desert me Don’t turn back, now that we’re here

People always say that life is full of choices No one ever mentions fear Or how the world can seem so vast On a journey to the past

Somewhere, down this road I know someone’s waiting Years of dreams just can’t be wrong

Arms will open wide I’ll be safe and wanted Finally home, where I belong

Well, starting now, I’m learning fast On this journey to the past, home, love, family There was once a time I must have had them, too

Home, love, family I will never be complete Until I find you

One step at a time One hope, then another Who knows where this road may go?

Back to who I was On to find my future Things my heart still needs to know

Yes, let this be a sign Let this road be mine Let it lead me to my past And bring me home, at last

Learn To Do It

You were born in a palace by the sea VLADIMIR

A palace by the sea, could it be? ANASTASIA

Yes, that’s right You rode horseback, when you were only three VLADIMIR

Horseback riding? Me? ANASTASIA

And the horse VLADIMIR

He was white DIMITRI

You made faces and terrorized the cook VLADIMIR

Threw him in the brook DIMITRI

Was I wild? ANASTASIA

Wrote the book DIMITRI

But you’d behave when your father gave that look VLADIMIR

Imagine how it was DIMITRI

Your long forgotten past VLADIMIR

We’ve lots and lots to teach you And the time is going fast DIMITRI/VLADIMIR

Alright, I’m ready ANASTASIA

Now, shoulders back and stand up tall And do not walk, but try to float VLADIMIR

I feel a little foolish, am I floating? ANASTASIA

Like a little boat, you give a bow VLADIMIR

What happens now? ANASTASIA

Your hand receives a kiss VLADIMIR

Most of all, remember this DIMITRI/VLADIMIR

If I can learn to do it You can learn to do it VLADIMIR

Something in you knows it DIMITRI

There’s nothing to it DIMITRI/VLADIMIR

Follow in my footsteps, shoe by shoe VLADIMIR

You can learn to do it, too DIMITRI/VLADIMIR

Now, elbows in and sit up straight VLADIMIR

And never slurp the stroganoff DIMITRI

I never cared for stroganoff ANASTASIA

Spoken like a Romanoff VLADIMIR

The Samovar DIMITRI

The Caviar VLADIMIR

Dessert and then goodnight? ANASTASIA

Not until you get this right DIMITRI/VLADIMIR

If I can learn to do it VLADIMIR

If I can learn to do it DIMITRI

You can learn to do it VLADIMIR

You can learn to do it DIMITRI

Pull yourself together And you’ll pull through it VLADIMIR

Tell yourself it’s easy And it’s true You can learn to do it, too DIMITRI

Next, you must memorize The names of the royalty Now, here we have Kropotkin VLADIMIR

Shot Potemkin DIMITRI

In the Botkin VLADIMIR

Oh ANASTASIA

And dear old uncle Vanya Loves his Vodka VLADIMIR

Got it, Anya? DIMITRI

No ANASTASIA

The Baron Pushkin VLADIMIR

He was? ANASTASIA

Short! DIMITRI

Count Anatoly VLADIMIR

Had a ANASTASIA

Wart DIMITRI

Count Sergei VLADIMIR

Wore a feathered hat DIMITRI

I hear he’s gotten very fat VLADIMIR

And I recall his yellow cat ANASTASIA

I don’t believe we told her that DIMITRI

If you can learn to do it I can learn to do it ANASTASIA

Don’t know how you knew it VLADIMIR

I simply knew it Suddenly, I feel like someone new ANASTASIA

Anya, you’re a dream come true DIMITRI/VLADIMIR

If I can learn to do it DIMITRI

If I can learn to do it VLADIMIR

If I can learn to do it You can learn to do it Pull yourself together ANASTASIA

And you’ll pull through it ANASTASIA/DIMITRI/VLADIMIR

Tell yourself it’s easy VLADIMIR

And it’s true ANASTASIA/DIMITRI/VLADIMIR

There’s really nothing to it ANASTASIA

You can learn to do it, too ANASTASIA/DIMITRI/VLADIMIR

Once Upon A December

Dancing pairs, painted wings Things I almost remember And a song, someone sings Once upon a december

Someone holds me, safe and warm Horses prance through a silver storm Figures dancing gracefully Across my memory (2x)

Far away, long ago Glowing dim as an ember Things my heart used to know Things I yearn to remember

And a song someone sings Once upon a december

The Nightmare Before Christmas (2049)

Finale

He’s all right CORPSE KID

Let’s shout, make a fuss Scream it out, wheee MAYOR

Jack is back, now, everyone sing In our town of Halloween

What’s this? CORPSE KID

What’s this? MUMMY

I haven’t got a clue HARLEQUIN DEMON

What’s this? MR. HYDE

What, it’s completely new CLOWN

What’s this?

Must be a Christmas thing WEREWOLF

It’s really very strange MAYOR

This is Halloween Halloween, Halloween, Halloween

What’s this? (8x)

My dearest friend, if you don’t mind I’d like to join you, by your side Where we can gaze into the stars JACK

And sit together, now and forever For it is plain as anyone can see We’re simply meant to be JACK/SALLY

Sally’s Song

Oh how I hope my premonition is wrong

I sense there’s something in the wind That feels like tragedy’s at hand And though I’d like to stand by him Can’t shake this feeling that I have The worst is just around the bend

And does he notice my feelings for him? And will he see how much he means to me? I think it’s not to be

What will become of my dear friend? Where will his actions leaves us, then? Although, I’d like to join the crowd In their enthusiastic cloud Try as I may, it doesn’t last

And will we ever end up together? No I think not, it’s never to become For I am not the one

My Love From Another Star (2053)

I Will Come To You

Before I held you, I didn’t know That the world I’ve been living in Was this bright

You woke me, with a small breath of life And your love called out to me, fearlessly

I’ve enjoyed every single moment Watching over you, my heart fluttering Even when I was ridiculously jealous All of those seemingly ordinary moments

In the dark eternity, in that long wait Like sunshine, you fell down to me

Before I let go of you, I didn’t know That the world I’ve been living in Was this lonely

Pretty flowers bloomed and withered, here The season when we met will never come again

I think I started to become greedy I wanted to live with you, grow old with you Hold your wrinkled hands And say how warm my life had become

Everything was a blessing But after that short encounter You cried like the rain

I wanted to be happy for once But my happiness made you cry

I can’t forget everything and move on Because I will come to you Whenever your breath Calls out to me, one last time

I won’t ever forget Watching over you, my heart fluttering Even when I was ridiculously jealous All of those moments that only you gave to me

I pray that someday we’ll meet again It’ll be the happiest day of my life I will always come to you If you call me, I will come to you

We Loved (ft. 20 Years Of Age)

My phone that used to ring, nonstop Is slowly getting quieter It’s like I’ve lost my mouth I can’t pick up those cruel words That I mindlessly spilled out And I really think you’re going to leave me 20 YEARS OF AGE

Will I be able to erase you? In just one moment Can we become strangers? I know it won’t be easy 20 YEARS OF AGE

We had many good times But did we come too far to turn things around? Will I be able to erase you? Can we become strangers? 20 YEARS OF AGE

Tears don’t even come, at this point I threw my phone out of anger and broke it It’s like looking at myself It wasn’t like this before But our endless and emotional fights have gotten frequent And I think I’m too tired, now NINA

Will I be able to erase you? In just one moment Can we become strangers? I know it won’t be easy yeah NINA

And we had many good times But did we come too far to turn things around? Will I be able to erase you? Can we become strangers? NINA

I try to act like I’m okay, but I feel down It gets worse, even though I try to laugh it off 20 YEARS OF AGE We can’t hide what has come to us Our time has stopped NINA

Will I be able to erase you? 20 YEARS OF AGE

Ooh ooh NINA

Can we become strangers? 20 YEARS OF AGE

Will I be able to erase you? 20 YEARS OF AGE/NINA

In just one moment NINA

Can we become strangers? 20 YEARS OF AGE/NINA

Yeah 20 YEARS OF AGE

I know it won’t be easy For we had many good times 20 YEARS OF AGE/NINA

But did we come too far to turn things around? 20 YEARS OF AGE

Ooh NINA Will I be able to erase you? Can we become strangers? 20 YEARS OF AGE/NINA

We loved (6x) 20 YEARS OF AGE/NINA

The Prince Of Egypt (2057)

Deliver Us

Mud, sand, water, straw, faster Mud and lift, sand, pull Water and raise up, straw, faster GUARDS

With the sting of the whip on my shoulder With the salt of my sweat on my brow Elohim, God on high Can you hear your people cry? Help us now, this dark hour SLAVES

Deliver us, hear our call Deliver us, Lord of all Remember us, here in this burning sand Deliver us, there’s a land you promised us Deliver us to the promised land SLAVES

Yal-di ha-tov veh ha-rach Al ti-ra veh al tif-chad MOSES’ MOTHER

My son, I have nothing I can give But this chance that you may live I pray we’ll meet again, if He will deliver us MOSES’ MOTHER

Deliver us, hear our prayer Deliver us, from despair These years of slavery grow Too cruel to stand SLAVES

Deliver us, there’s a land you promised us Deliver us, out of bondage and Deliver us to the promised land SLAVES

Hush, now, my baby Be still, love, don’t cry Sleep as you’re rocked by the stream Sleep and remember my last lullaby So, I’ll be with you when you dream MOSES’ MOTHER

River oh river Flow gently for me Such precious cargo you bear Do you know somewhere He can live free? River, deliver him there MOSES’ MOTHER

Brother, you’re safe, now And safe may you stay For I have a prayer just for you Grow, baby brother Come back someday Come and deliver us, too MIRIAM

Deliver us, send a shepherd to shepherd us And deliver us to the promised land SLAVES

Deliver us MOSES’ MOTHER

When You Believe

Many nights we prayed With no proof anyone could hear In our hearts, a hope for a song We barely understood

Now, we are not afraid Although we know there’s much to fear We were moving mountains Long before we knew we could woah yes

There can be miracles When you believe Though hope is frail Its hard to kill

Who knows what miracles You can achieve? When you believe, somehow, you will You will, when you believe

Uhm yeah in this time of fear When prayer, so often, proves in vain

Hope seems like the summer bird Too swiftly flown away Yet, now, I’m standing, here My hearts so full, I can’t explain

Seeking faith and speaking words I never thought I’d say There can be miracles When you believe

Though hope is frail Its hard to kill Who knows what miracles You can achieve? When you believe, somehow you will You will, when you believe

They don’t always happen when you ask And its easy to give in to your fears But when you’re blinded by your pain Can’t see the way, get through the rain

A small but still, resilient voice Says hope is very near ooh ooh ooh

There can be miracles (yeah yeah yeah) When you believe (though hope is frail)

It’s hard to kill Who knows what miracles You can achieve?

When you believe, somehow, you will (now, you will) Somehow, you will (you know you will) You will, when you believe

You will, when you believe