#I’ve been nonstop listening to this song please help me

[codenamedrdisco]

Dolly Parton: “Don’tcha just hate the devil?”

My stoned agnostic ass:

[7ndipity]

Them With An Autistic S/o

Ot7 x Reader

Summary: How the members would handle/react to their S/o being on the spectrum.

Warnings: Mentions of sensory issues, feeling over/under stimulated, depression, meltdowns, stimming.

A/N: Thanks to the lovely anon who requested this! This is a list I’ve actually wanted to write for a while, but I’d been slightly nervous/unsure about it. But as someone who’s also on the spectrum, I know how much comfort similar posts from other blogs have brought me! I also tried to keep this one a bit lighter, since someone asked for a separate list about meltdowns/shutdowns, but if there’s any specific reactions/hcs like this that you guys want, let me know! (Please note that these are based off my own knowledge/experience, so I’m sorry if they don’t fit for everyone)

Masterlist

°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Jin:

I feel like he’d be slightly confused and worried at first because he’s not sure what to do/how to help you, but once you explain a bit more, he gets a lot more comfortable, and really is such a good caregiver when he needs to be.

Catches onto your different stims pretty quickly and what each one means.

Like, y’all have whole conversations solely through funny little hums and stim noises.

Really good at reading and matching your mood/energy. You wanna talk about the Mayans nonstop for two hours? Cool! You want to just sit silently and do nothing? Also cool!

He’s really good at normalizing your symptoms and making them seem like nbd(because to him, they aren’t) Food sensitivities? He’s got them too! You hate loud noises and crowds? Same Honey, let’s get the fuck outta here! He knows they’re not quite the same thing, of course, but if it makes you feel more comfortable and safe being your true, unmasked self with him, then that’s all that matters to him.

Really good at calming you down when you feel overwhelmed or on the verge of meltdown.

Does his absolute best to bring your mood up whenever you’re struggling or feeling really down, pulling out his best dad jokes(even if they don’t make sense to you), bringing your favorite snacks, etc.

Yoongi:

I think he would handle it really well. Does his research after you tell him, and asks you about it casually during dates/hangouts.

So fucking respectful of your boundries. If you prefer to have your own space, he’s totally fine letting you do your own thing. If you need more closeness and cuddles, he’s all over that too, letting you sit right next to him while he works.

Not only lets you rant about your special interests, but makes the effort to take interest in them and asks questions. Randomly buys you little things related to them.

He’s so calming and soothing when you’re feeling stressed or overstimulated, understanding whenever you randomly need rest or quiet time(stress nap buddies)

Keeps things like extra sunglasses and headphones in his bag for you, just in case you forget yours.

Would have a lot of fun if you have audio stims, letting you listen to his new songs because your reactions and enthusiasm are so cute to him. Makes you panning audios as gifts.

Always there to look out for you whenever executive dysfunction decides to kick your ass. Washes the dishes, doing the laundry, restocking your safe foods, etc. He would also be really good at body doubling.

Hobi:

I honestly think he would be really good with an S/O on the spectrum. Like, he literally designed Mang, who is soo ND coded like omg😭, so I think he would be able to understand you really well.

(if you haven’t seen the videos of him talking about Mang’s personality and character traits during the re-design process last year, pls go watch them, I almost cried)

Loves buying you new fidgets and stim toys whenever he finds new ones to try(he even has a collection of chewlery that he wears bc he thinks they’re neat).

Is really good reading you and distracting you when you start to get overstimulated or anxious, sometimes noticing before you do.

Lowkey protective over you in spaces and situations he knows are stressful for you, positioning himself next to you whenever he spots things he knows bother you.

You know how Yoongi described him as a vitamin? That’s how it is for you now too.💛

He’s so stimmy himself, so he would find a lot of your stims really relatable and endearing. Like, if you start happy stimming, he can’t help but join right in, bouncing or squealing with you. It makes him so happy that you feel comfortable enough with him to share those parts of yourself with him.

Namjoon:

Instantly super supportive when you told him, making an effort to research on his own, as well as listening to your personal experiences to understand as much as possible.

Happily sits and lets you info-dump about your special interests. He honestly loves seeing you so passionate and animated about whatever you’re talking about and loves getting a glimpse into how your mind works(it was probably during one of these moments that he realized he was in love with you)

Surprisingly good pebbler, he’s always finding cool rocks or shells for your collections.

Doesn’t mind speaking for you on days when you’re nonverbal.

The sweetest when you’re feeling overstimulated. He closes all the curtains to make it dark and cozy and sits with you, talking as softly as needed or not talking at all, tapping your hand gently now and then to let you know he’s still there.

Soo protective over you, almost to a fault at times. Like, you might have to scold him once or twice about babying you, but he really doesn’t mean to, he just wants to make sure you’re safe and happy.

The world feels a lot less scary tho with him next you. You know if you need anything, he��s got your back.

Jimin:

The softest boi🥺 He was honestly a little scared when you first told him, because he didn’t want to do anything wrong and was worried he wouldn’t be ‘good’ at looking after you, but he quickly relaxed and grew more confident as he learned more from you.

The best comforter when you’re feeling overwhelmed or depressed, full of quiet reassurances and long hugs(if you’re okay with those). He’ll gladly cuddle with you under your weighted blanket for however long you need to feel better.

Literally set up a little “nest” for you at his place with a like beanbag chair and your favorite types of blankets/pillows, so you have your own place to just ‘be’ and recoup when you need it.

Carries fidget toys and sensory aids like sunglasses and headphones with him at all times, just in case you need them.

Really good at communicating with you on days when you’re nonverbal, whether through texts or little notes(which he always adds little doodles on to make your smile😊)

Makes sure you never feel guilty or like a burden to him for letting him in on those tougher days. If anything, they make him love you even more because of the trust you have in him.

It really makes him feel so proud and happy inside that you find so much comfort in his presence and that he gets to take care of you.💜

Taehyung:

Another that I think would be particularly good with a neurodivergent S/O. Like, everyone jokes about how he’s weird, so I think he’d love that you’re both your kind of own unique kinds of ‘weird’.

Happily rewatches your favorite comfort shows/films with you, and speaks in fluent film quotes with you.

Loves when you fidget and stim with his hands or fingers.

If you like pressure stims, he’s a dream come true. Like, the man’s a living weighted blanket, so when you basically give him a doctor's note for cuddles? He’s never gonna let you go.

As relaxed as he might come across sometimes tho, he’s super observant of your stims and triggers and takes it so seriously whenever you start feeling overwhelmed or stressed.

It doesn’t matter where you are or what you’re doing, if you need a break, he’s getting you to a quiet place where you can sit and just recalibrate.

Rivals Jin and Yoongi for top spot in the acts of service department on your bad days, making sure you eat properly, doing any household chores that need done. He even learned how to wash your weighted blanket so you don’t have to.

Jungkook:

Was definitely a little lost and overwhelmed when you first explained everything to him, but he really takes it in stride and tries to learn as much as possible to help make things easier for you where he can.

The King of comfort squeezes. Like you’ve seen his arms, he gives the best hugs, I just know it(especially on those “the weighted blanket isn't enough, I need a hydraulic press” days)

Loves learning about your special interests. Like, It’s no longer just your special interest, it’s our special interest. He’s even studying and finding things for it on his own to surprise you with.

Honestly plays with some of your fidget toys more than you do, lol! You might even end up giving him a few of his favorites😊

Gets super happy and smiley whenever you get echolalia of his songs.

Another member of the protective squad, ain’t no bad stimuli getting to his baby if he can help it!

The gentlest with you when you're overstimulated or having a tough day. Anything you need, he’ll do without question. All he cares about is making sure that you feel safe and comfortable🥺

Taglist: @sopebubbles-replies @btsw1fe @this-must-be-my-tardis @whitefoxgirl @bethanysnow @coffeedepressionsoup @main-bangtansmauyeondan @feminympho @a-gayish-unicorn @dfqcsqueen @mother2monsters @captainorangegoose @k4ngelz

[lewmagoo]

atta boy show

i wanted to share my experience meeting lewis and the gang. the night was an absolute dream. it’s lengthy so it’s under a read more.

first of all the show was phenomenal. the opener, me like bees, was fantastic and i’ve been listening to them nonstop since last night. plus atta boy’s set was so good, of course. when they walked off at the end everyone started chanting for one more song so they came back to play another one (i will post the video later) and as they were getting ready to play lewis was snapping pics of eden and freddy with his film camera, very endearing lol.

so leading up to the show i decided i was going to make coasters for all of the band members. so i made one for each with their names on them, the date of the show, and my city's skyline. first i gave aubrey hers. she loved it. and she is darling! such a kind, sweet, beautiful girl! i told her how much i loved how she played and that she was beautiful, and she was just so touched.

then i gave dashel his. he got so animated about it and he asked me all the details about how i made it. he is truly so wonderful and kind, like his energy is just infectious and he's so lovely. and very attentive! a few people had fainting issues in the crowd and if they were close by he made sure to check on them, and offer help if needed. genuinely angelic human.

then of course miss eden! i didn't get to talk to her as long as i wanted to because they were packing up and i didn't wanna interrupt, but i gave her the coaster and she was so excited. plus i also put together a bag full of snacks and goodies for the gang to share on the road home and she loved it, she kept thanking me and ugh she's just so darling! like i mentioned above a few people fainted in the crowd and she stopped the show each time to make sure they were taken care of, and made sure to be encouraging and keep everyone calm.

i also wanna shout out luke shaefer, the lead singer of me like bees. he jumped right into action every time someone needed help. after their set a girl near me was having an asthma attack and he gave her water and had her sit down on the stage. and then he ran to the aid of someone who fainted. truly the most genuine, kind person. i got to talk to him for like 15 minutes straight after the show, and just vibe with him. he is AMAZING. and their music is so fucking good. their set was so loud my ears were still ringing, but so worth the ear pain lol. i will def be listening to them all the time now!

then of course freddy. i also didn't get to talk to him as much as i wanted because they were packing up but i stopped him to give him his coaster. he LIT UP and said "this is the sweetest gift i've ever been given." and then asked me if i was okay with a hug (of course i was). he was just so kind and gracious and energetic. god i love him. he is so cute to watch on stage too. he's got such a good aura about him.

and without further adieu, that brings me to our beloved lew magoo 😉

i thought for sure i'd be nervous and awkward but i am proud to say i stared him down just as hard as he was staring me down lol. also i was really extra and went a bit overboard with my presents for him. i touched his arm and was like "so i have a lot of presents for you...i am so sorry" and he was like "oh let's go over here where there's more space!" and led me over to the stage. then i went on my spiel. i of course gave him his coaster. he loved it, and at first he was like "omg is this a cookie?" (i packaged them in little goodie bags) and i was like sir! that is a coaster, please do not eat it. and he just thought it was so cool and asked how i made it. and he was like “this is the beginning of my coaster collection!” let me tell you, all the painstaking work i did on those coasters made that moment all worth it.

then, i got him a set of pens that look like drumsticks. he was so excited and was like "oh i've been looking for new pens! these are insanely cool!" but it didn't end there. the last thing i got him was a brand new mack hat. i told him i heard that his old one bit the dust (he was wearing it as we spoke, it just didn't have the patch) and that i went looking for a new one. and i presented it to him and his FACE. he was like 😱 and no joke, he started tearing up. and then he immediately put it on. i asked him if i could take a picture of him wearing it so he happily posed for me, and then he insisted i take another picture of him pointing at the hat (i may share the pics on my blog. i may not. we shall see. they are so special to me. mooties will definitely get to see the pics, i promise) and he was just ecstatic. i think he gave me a hug? but i honestly do not remember lol, i blacked out at the end. i did get pics with him though, which he took himself. and he went "the mack is back!" 😭

he is just as kind and gracious as everyone says he is. meeting him was unreal. i'm so glad i had the opportunity and i wouldn't trade it for the world. the show was such a surreal and beautiful experience. i met several new friends as well as a few tumblr girlies and we just all vibed and had such a great time. i hope atta boy tours again soon and that more people get a chance to interact with these incredible people. they deserve all the love and success and i hope they have a long and prosperous career together as a band, and that they're able to flourish in their own personal ventures as well.

[goldenlaurelleaveswrites]

I Should be Asleep

1:47 am 

I Should be Asleep (AO3)

A Huge thank you to @quickspinner for helping me with the music metaphors in this chapter!! 💖💖💖

________________________________________________

He would be lying if he said he hadn’t been thinking about Marinette on and off—nonstop—for the past three days. 

Which was why he hadn’t said anything about it. 

And especially not to Juleka… 

But just because he hadn’t said anything didn’t make it any less true. Her song was in his head, playing on endless repeat. Sometimes it was at the forefront of his mind, sometimes it allowed itself to become an the soundtrack to which his other thoughts played through his head. 

But it was always there. 

And with every repeat, new complexities bloomed into full blossom, like the flowers scattered across the shirt she had been wearing. There was so much in her song, her music almost overflowed into the world around her. And how could it not? He had seen a symphony in her eyes. In her smile. And every time he passed one of the pictures of her on the wall he couldn’t help but wonder how he had never noticed it there before. 

Soft and gentle chords of compassion and kindness plucked at heartstrings, while the delicate tones of imagination, wonder, and creativity played on silver flutes added the lightness of daydreams. Bright and vivacious brassy notes brought warmth and the sparkling light of her open and generous nature into the song while the steady beat of courage and a sense of justice kept time as the heartbeat. 

All of it blended into the melody of her. 

Arpegios played in quick succession raced and rambled like a mind moving too quickly for the rest of her to keep up with, sounding of stuttered words and flailing hands and nervous laughter before receding. Discordant with the strength woven throughout her melody, that somehow sounded as if it believed it was played with borrowed chords. The music was headstrong and gentle all at once, played with the strength born from a heart of gold. It sang of boundless creativity. Of stubbornness and an eagerness to please. Of bold confidence hidden behind frazzled nerves. 

 It was an organized mess of contradictions and perfect sense. 

And through it it all was the constant sound of an honest heart worn on a sleeve. 

It was the most beautiful thing he had ever heard. 

He could spend the rest of his life listening to it. 

He was almost drowning in it, just like he had almost drowned in the summer skies of her eyes.   It was so easy to slip beneath the surface, to discover the world of bright a vivid colours, like a coral reef. 

He was drowning… 

He had dove in head first… 

He was falling… 

He was- 

“-Stupid.” 

He jerked out of his daydream, nearly toppling off of his bed both from the surprise of Juleka’s sharply quiet—and annoyed—voice. And the way she had knocked the leg he had had his other leg and his guitar propped up against as he ried to figure out Marinette’s heartsong out from under him. 

“What was that for?” 

“I’ve been calling you for the past five minutes.” Guiltily, he glanced at his phone; there were seven missed call notifications from his sister. “And you made me come down here to get you. Everyone’s here,” she added flatly, “we’re all ready to start rehearsal.” 

Sighing, he ran a a hand through his hair, further disheveling it. It had been another sleepless night spent tossing and turning, and his bedhead was worse than usual. He had meant to tame it earlier, especially given- but he had gotten caught up in-

“And what’s with that song, anyways?” Juleka asked as she glanced over her shoulder, already halfway out the door of their room. “You’ve been playing it nonstop for days now.”

                                                           ***

Her pencil flew across the page, racing to keep up with the music. Juleka had been right when she had suggested she drop by the Kitty Section rehearsal to see if she could glean any inspiration from the music. 

She couldn’t remember the last time she had felt this inspired. 

Already, she had filled what felt like dozens of pages of her sketchbook. Page after page, the ideas had poured out of her and onto the pages until they blurred together. Her hands could barely keep up with the ideas flowing from her pencil onto the pages. The lines of her pencil were joined by hastily added splashes of colour; suggestions for what would fit the vision of each outfit. A soft sky blue for a sundress with a swirly skirt, and a delicate shade of periwinkle for a blouse. Delicate rose and carnation pinks paired harmoniously with the blues of hyacinths, periwinkles, and the sky. Even lilac joined the mix. 

The pages were quickly filling with everything from sweet and pretty dresses outfits and dreamy gowns to avant-garde ensembles only fit for a runway or a stage… 

And as the pages progressed, punchier colours joined the mix. Brighter and bolder pinks, purples, reds, and blues unfurled across the pages to match the ever-growing boldness of the designs, filling in the blank spaces of the designs like stained glass. 

The confident and gentle sound of a guitar carried her pencil across a fresh page in bold lines. The silhouette would be strong; sharp and bold lines to mimic the power of his playing and the angles and planes of his face. But the textiles… they would be soft to match the gentleness in his eye and the warmth of his smile. Supple leather and denim would provide structure and integrity while still offering comfort like his smile. And the colours…true black would be too stark. Too abrupt. Faded blacks and midnight blues… but with splashes of bright blue- the serene blue of calm seas to match his eyes-

“Hey.” 

She jumped at the voice, barely managing to keep a hold of her sketchbook as she flailed to regain her balance before she could topple off of the crate she had perched herself on. Once she had—at least to some degree—composed herself, she looked up into Juleka’s luminous eyes. Well, the eye that wasn’t hidden behind her hair. She hadn’t even realized they had stopped playing. 

Except Luka, apparently; she could still hear his guitar. 

Juleka for her part, raised a brow and levelled her with a look but didn’t comment. Instead she said, “We’re taking ten. Rose and I are going down to grab drinks, you want anything?” 

“Oh! O-oh yeah. Sure. That- that would be great.” She tightened her grip on her sketchbook ash she tried to ground herself with the familiar feel of its cover. Why was she suddenly so flustered? It was Juleka! They were friends! She didn’t have anything to be flustered about! 

Juleka’s brow rose a little higher, but she nodded and turned without saying a word. Until she glanced back over her shoulder to mumble, “You were pretty in the zone; you must have some pretty sweet stuff in there.” 

“Y-yeah, maybe,” she laughed, brushing her bangs out of her face as she dropped her gaze to the notebook. “I guess we’ll have to see.”

“Cool.” With that, Juleka disappeared down below deck. 

Surreptitiously, she cast a glance around deck. The Captain was nowhere in sight, but that wasn’t surprising since Luka had mentioned she was at work until the evening. Rose and Juleka were both below deck. Ivan was by the railing, talking on the phone with Mylène from the sounds of what she could hear. Finally, her eyes found Luka. 

He was sitting on the edge of the stage, his guitar still slung around him with the instrument resting in his lap. He was scribbling in a battered but otherwise nondescript notebook with the same kind of fervour she felt when she was in the zone. She watched as he dropped his pencil into the fold of his notebook and took his guitar in hand. He played a few notes, frowned, and then picked up his pencil again and scratched out whatever he had just written. And then, as if he felt her eyes on him, he looked up to meet her gaze. He shot her that lopsided smile she was quickly growing familiar with, the one that made the corners of his eyes crinkle and softened the sharp lines of his face. And then he offered her a small wave. 

She returned his smile and wave with ones of her own, and then, unsure of why her face was suddenly feeling so warm, she dropped her gaze back down to her sketchbook and opened it to a random page. 

Slowly, she began flipping through the pages.. She marked several of the pages to look at in more detail later; some of the designs would make great costumes for Kitty Section if they ever had the need. Sure, some of them were ambitious, but she could already imagine them now. The way pink sequins would catch the light as Rose screamed into the mic and the way studs on distressed denim would glint as Ivan drummed. Juleka would look incredible in black lace and Luka… 

She squinted at her sketchbook. 

She hadn’t realized quite how many costume ideas she had sketched for Luka. There were at least five pages dedicated to different costume ideas for him, each more ambitious than the last. Ambitious… but approachable. Her brows furrowed as she flipped to the last page. 

And she froze.  

It was the design she had been working on when Juleka interrupted her. 

It wasn’t just that it wasn’t a costume—jeans and a hoodie with leather accents didn’t seem like much of a costume in her opinion—that gave her pause. 

In all of her other sketches, she had used the general silhouette, maybe some rough lines to indicate hair to distinguish who would wear each outfit. 

She hadn’t drawn any of the others with faces. 

Especially not with such… with such detail. She could almost see the gleam in his eyes as the sketch of Luka, sitting on the stage but wearing her clothes, looked down at his guitar. Her fingers hovered over the page. Why had she-

“Here you go.” 

She squeaked, and for the second time, almost lost her sketchbook in a fit of flailing. Once she had recovered, she looked up to find Juleka standing over her once again, this time holding out a glass of lemonade. 

“You good?” she asked, raising a brow. 

“Y-yeah! I’m good. Sorry. Just- y’know, in the zone!” she rambled as she took the glass and downed a gulp of the cool drink to try and quell the heat in her cheeks. 

“Sure…” Juleka mumbled before turning to the stage. “Hey, come get your drink!” she- she didn’t yell, but it was a loud enough mumble that it carried. 

Luka looked up from his notebook and nodded when he saw his sister holding the drink. “Be there in a sec.” 

“I’m just leaving this here for him,” Juleka said as she turned back to place the other drink on the empty crate beside her. “It’s going to be a longer break than we thought, Rose found some of the frozen cookie dough from the last girls night we did here, and she’s decided she wants cookies.” 

“Oh, do you want any help?” she asked, already moving to get up. 

Juleka shook her head. “There’s barely enough room for two people as it is.” She snorted at that, remembering the struggle it had been to cram everyone into the kitchen when they had made the cookies during girls night. “Besides, you said you were in the zone,” her friend added, nodding to her notebook. “I’ll leave you to it.”

“Oh, ok, if you’re sure. Thanks.” 

Juleka smiled and then started back toward the stairs that led below deck. After she had only taken a couple of steps, she turned back. “Just make sure that whatever costumes you’re designing for us, mine are cooler than Luka’s.” 

She couldn’t help but laugh at Juleka’s words and wicked smirk. She was so caught up in her laughter, she didn’t notice Luka sitting down next to her until he leaned toward her, just close enough that his breath tickled her. 

“What’s so funny? Sorry,” he added when she jumped. 

She ducked her head, biting her lip until she had her giggles and smile under control. “Nothing, Juleka just wanted me to make my designs for her costumes cooler than yours.”

“Typical,” he chuckled. “She thinks I’m nothing but a huge dork.”

“You’re not!” she cried indignantly, only to be met with soft chuckles. 

“I’ll let you try telling her that.” He leaned over to tap a finger against her notebook. “Is that what you were working on? Costumes for us?” 

Fresh warmth flooded her cheeks. “I’m sorry, it’s a bit presumptuous isn’t it? To even assume you want costumes-” 

“No, I think it’s great.” His smile was so honest, and there was an bright gleam in his eyes. “I bet whatever you came up with is amazing.” 

“Maybe…” she said doubtfully, looking back down at her sketchbook. 

“Juleka’s told me all about your designs. I know that whatever you thought of, it’s incredible. And if you don’t like it,” he gently bumped her with his shoulder, “well, the worst that can happen is your creativity didn’t work out this time. That’s what it’s all about on the Liberty, and in Kitty Section; trying new things and being creative.”

She smiled wryly. “But I’m not in the band, remember?” 

He shrugged, and easy smile on his face. “Sure you are.” 

“What? But I don’t even play an instrument!” 

“But every band needs a costume designer, right?” 

“Yeah…” 

“The position is yours, if you want it,” he said, turning so his smile was fixed on her. 

Her heart did something fluttery. She shook her head and smiled. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

“And…” he said slowly, “I can teach you how to play some chords, if you’d like.” 

“I- yeah. I’d like that.” 

                                                          *** 

“Just put your fingers here, here, and here.” 

“Like this?” 

“Here, let me just- there, that’s perfect.”

“What do we do next?” 

“We’re going to make sure that all the notes sound good before we play it as a chord. So we’re going to pick out each note… see how they all sound nice and clear?” 

“Yeah. And we do this to make sure my fingers in the right place, right?”

“Exactly. And they all sounded good, so now we strum like this…” 

                                                          ***

He was staring at the ceiling again. The cracks of light filtering through the porthole were just enough to illuminate the cracks in the ceiling he had committed to memory three nights ago. Even with his bed rearranged so his feet were now at the headboard, he could still see the array of cracks and stickers as clear as day. 

Had she caught him staring at her? 

Was that why she had been so shy when she had smiled and waved to him during the break before retreating to her sketchbook? 

He had been trying to play it cool. 

He thought he had been. 

Or at least, he thought he had done a good job at pretending to be cool. As Jules so often loved to point out, he was anything but cool. 

But he hadn’t been able to help himself; he hadn’t been able to stop his eyes from gravitating towards her as they had played. He had been completely transfixed by the way her brows crinkled with concentration, and the way her lips had pursed and her tongue had stuck out just a little as she had worked. 

Playing had helped him focus. A little. Throughout their entire rehearsal, his fingers had itched to play the song that he was still trying to fully untangle. The one that had been on repeat in his head since she had stumbled into his room. 

But then during their break… she had been so in the zone, he hadn’t been able to bear the thought of disturbing her. He knew what it was like to be in the zone. To have the creative juices flowing and to have the stars align so that everything just worked. Breaking her out of that would have been a crime. The adorable look of concentration on her face hadn’t played a—huge—role in that decision. 

So he had let himself look at her. He had tried to be subtle, what with everyone—especially his sister—around. But maybe he hadn’t been as subtle as he had thought… 

Usually, he wasn’t about trying to play anything but music. But it was all so new! He didn’t want to make her uncomfortable! He didn’t want to scare her away. He didn’t know how she felt… 

He pulled a pillow over his face and let something between a sigh and a groan escaped him, muffled by the pillow.  

It was all so… so new. 

He had had passing crushes before. But this? 

This was different. 

He hadn’t heard music before. 

Not like this.  

                                                          ***

She hadn’t realized just how much… how much blue had ended up in her sketchbook until she had gotten home and started flipping through it again to see what fabrics in her stash might suit the designs she wanted to make. And… how? Why? 

Why had her sketchbook suddenly been dominated by blue? 

It wasn’t like she never wore blue! She just didn’t normally wear that much of it… 

She sighed as she kicked her covers off and carefully, so as not to wake Tikki who was snoring softly on her pillow, climbed out of her bed. In the light that filtered through the cracks in her curtains and through the glass of the trapdoor that led to her balcony, she padded across her room to her sketchbook. She glared at it as she picked it up from where she had dumped it on her desk earlier, when Tikki had chided her for still being awake. 

She glanced at her alarm clock and sighed. It wasn’t like Tikki’s reminders that she should have been asleep by that point had done any good, seeing as she was still up. 

She bit her lip as she began flipping through the pages as she idly made her way toward her chaise. 

The blue? It was throwing her for a loop. Not unlike her Lucky Charms so often did. 

But just like she always did with her Lucky Charms, she would figure it out. 

She plopped herself down on the chaise and began examining the pages with the clothes she had obviously designed for herself in mind. The sky blue she had chosen for a dress… the sky had been a gorgeous shade of blue during the afternoon. And sitting in out in the open on the deck of the Liberty… she must have subconsciously drawn the colour from that. And the hyacinth and periwinkle blues… well, everything was in bloom right now. And they had passed some shops that had hanging baskets of flowers outside as they had headed toward the Liberty. So that explained the shades of blue. And the lilac, it easily could have been something she saw in the planters they passed or a natural conclusion to reach given she had been using mostly pinks and blues. 

She smiled to herself. 

The shades of blue had nothing to do with Luka. 

She froze just as she was flipping to the next page. 

Luka? 

Why-

He had nothing to do with her designs! Why would she even think that? 

She shook her head and looked down at the page in front of her. Luka’s likeness stared back up other. 

Just because she had drawn him for… whatever reason she had, it didn’t mean anything. She doodled stuff all the time! Sure, her doodles usually weren’t quite so… detailed… But that still didn’t mean anything! Just like it didn’t mean anything that her sketchbook was suddenly filled with shades of blue! 

She snapped the sketchbook closed and tossed it to the side before crossing her arms and letting out a breath that she channeled all of her frustrations into. 

This was stupid! She should be sleeping, not fixating on whatever silly nonsense was going on with her sketchbook. Because that’s what is was. 

It was silly. 

It was nonsense. 

It was crazy- 

She jolted from her chaise, as if electrified, by the sudden—and unwanted—thought that had just forced its way into her head. 

He had almost seen her sketchbook. 

When he had sat down beside her- if she hadn’t- if the she had lost her grip- if it had opened to one of the many pages with designs for him- the one with his face-

The waves of anxious thoughts carried her to and fro as she paced around her room. She did her best to keep her footsteps light. She didn’t want to wake Tikki and have to listen to another lecture on the importance of sleep. But how could she keep her footsteps light- how could she keep calm- how could she sleep when she was suddenly filled with worries that maybe he somehow had seen her sketchbook. 

Because how would she explain it? How would she explain that the only sketch that had a face—a detailed face—was of him? How would she explain that without sounding crazy? If all of the design sketches had included faces on the models- but no! It was just him! He would think she was crazy! 

She didn’t want him to think she was crazy! 

She wanted-

‘I think Marinette the compass has found herself a new statue.’ 

                                                          ***

He had tried counting sheep to take his mind off the music that was permeating his thoughts. But they had quickly turned to measures of music. Of one song in particular… 

So he had tried grounding himself. He had tried imagining the weight of a guitar in his hands. The feel of the polished wood of his acoustic and the comforting resistance of perfectly tuned strings. He would have just gotten up and gabbed his guitar, but he didn’t trust himself to hold an instrument and not start playing her song. 

And the last thing he had wanted to do was wake up Jules… 

Imagining the feel of the guitar had worked. 

Sort of. 

He had stopped playing her song over and over in his mind. But only, he suspected, because his mind was now fixated on the feel of her hands in his as he had guided her fingers to press down on the strings in the right places and strum with the pick he had handed her. And how she had fit so perfectly in his arms. And the way her perfume, a soft and sweet blend of vanilla and something floral, had scented the air around them. And the way she had so paid such rapt attention to his every word… 

It wasn’t uncommon for people to ask him how to play; and he usually didn’t mind obliging. But Marinette had paid attention the way only an artist invited into anther artists’s realm would. 

She was just… she was so incredible. So honest. So sincere… 

He rolled over, the blankets winding themselves even more tightly around him as he continued his tossing and turning, and groaned into his pillow for the umpteenth time. 

He was so far gone… 

��                                                         ***

‘I think Marinette the compass has found herself a new statue.’ 

She had retreated back to her bed and burrowed under her mountain of blankets and pillows and plushies. It had been a completely useless attempt to block out her thoughts; as if pillows and plushies could protect her against them, as if blankets could hide her from them. 

Alya’s words were still echoing inside her head. As unwelcome and untrue as they had been for the past three nights. 

She had said Alya was being silly. Alya had been being silly! She loved Adrien. And she had only just met Luka! And yeah, Luka was really nice- sweet even. And gentle. Kind. Funny. And he had been really brave, the way he had tricked Captain Hardrock. And he was an incredible musician, the way he had managed to stand out on stage, even with the rest of Kitty Section up there with him. And the way he had played her that song that had been so… sincere. So honest. And he was kinda cute. Well, he was really cute. 

He was more than cute… 

But none of that meant anything! 

She was in love with Adrien! 

And thinking her friend was talented didn’t mean anything. All of her friends were talented! And there was nothing weird about thinking a friend was cute. Rose was adorable, and Juleka was drop dead gorgeous. It was just a fact! 

So none of it meant anything… 

But if Alya had been being ridiculous… why was she still lying wide awake? And why was she lying wide awake thinking about Luka? 

And the feeling of his arms… 

She shook her head. 

Nope.

No. 

Absolutely not. 

It was just- she was just- she was being ridiculous! 

Yeah, she had been… flustered. But that was only natural! She was still getting to know Luka! And yeah, they had quickly become friends—they had just clicked—but she was still getting to know him and getting used to him so it was only natural to be a little flustered by how he had appeared in her sketchbook! 

And the way her face had warmed as he had told her she was already a part of the band… 

And how close they had ended up while he taught her to play… 

With his arms around her… 

And his soft, velvet voice in her ear… 

And his hands that had fit so perfectly around hers as he guided her- 

But he had just been showing her how to play!

It didn’t…  

[awalkthroughiris]

U2’s The Joshua Tree

hi people! i have no idea what i'm doing but i wanted to post this before i forgot to hehe, i wrote this a little bit ago, but i wanted to share, i fully don't expect anyone to read this but if you do, let me know what you think! i'm so sorry if the formatting is weird, i've never used tumblr LOL.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Listening to U2’s The Joshua Tree for the first time,

randomly 1-2am on a Friday night.

I’m actively finishing the first track, Where the Streets Have No Name, as I’m writing this. I’m not sure why I’m here, or why I’m awake even, but here I am listening to my first U2 album. I’ve of course heard of U2 before, my parents have played their music throughout my childhood, but the only song I could name is With or Without You, and I honestly don’t even know 90% of that song. Recently, I’ve been listening to the band Inhaler, who’s frontman is Bono’s son, Elijah Hewson, and my parents heard me listening and nonstop talking about them, which in turn has become them telling me to listen to a U2 album. I don’t know why I’m deciding to listen now, but I feel like maybe I’ll have some cinematic existential revelation by listening to this album, but that’s the romantic in me talking.

Okay, about to start track 2 now, but I love track 1, it made me want to drive, somewhere where there’s an arch of trees with arms of sunlight reaching my face. Now that I’m thinking about it, that makes complete sense in terms of the lyrics lol. I guess the same message was conveyed musically as well.

The production of the second track, “I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” is very pleasing to my ears. This song is distantly familiar to me, I can think of driving to Oregon in the summertime, venturing back roads and this song playing, maybe after Lovers in Japan by Coldplay played. As someone who believes in God, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit, I can’t help but feel emotional while listening, but this could also be my nostalgic ties.

With this gentle emotional twist in my stomach, and the building of tears in my eyes, With or Without You has begun. My dad said recently how “emotionally evocative” this song is for him, and to be honest I didn’t and probably still don’t understand the way he meant it, but with the placement of this track in the album, I certainly can’t help but feel emotional. It’s giving me a similar feeling to the song A Real Hero in the context of the movie Drive did for me the first time I watched it. The lyrics are so simple yet I find there’s so many ideas and situations I can attach to them. I almost feel as if any interpretation I have would be invalid since I’m just a teenage girl, and a teenage girl who’s never even fallen in love or honestly had any remotely intense romantic feelings.

A switch in pace, Bullet the Blue Sky is playing. It’s easy to feel the angst in the lyrics, with the repetition in the drums and bass, it weirdly feels like slam poetry. This isn’t something I would typically listen to, but I definitely don’t mind it, the guitar break provided a nice amount of time to just, think.

Running to Stand Still’s intro reminded me of a Jeff Buckley cover, Lost Highway. It also makes me think of folk music. The way thoughts in folk music are expressed seemed to be some factor in the way the song is structured, honestly no idea whether that is intentional or not.

Red Hill Mining Town, took a turn I wasn’t expecting at all, I’m kinda grooving out though right now. “You I can’t live without”, since this is a first listen I don’t know the tie, but an allusion to With or Without You?? Oh my goodness, I totally recognize this song as well, the “I’m hanging on” that kicked in around 1:25 is something I recall. It’s weird how my brain hAnGs On to specific parts of these songs. I need to revisit this song after doing some research though because I have no idea what the commentary on this song is for.

There’s so much energy in In God’s Country, it’s refreshing. One of the things I notice with my music taste is that there’s a lack of creative percussion. Which I certainly don’t mind, but listening to music like this helps me understand how, for lack of better words, bland, the other songs can be percussion wise. I don’t have any context to who Bono is really, besides that he’s seemingly been painted as some sort of insufferable humanitarian, but the religion driven metaphors in the lyrics are very interesting.

Trip Through Your Wires might be my least favorite song sonically honestly. I don’t want to be mean, but it just isn’t my favorite. I’m not entirely sure what it’s reminding me of, but it gives me the feeling of an old western setting, which I find, not bland or empty, just not my cup of tea I guess. A complete sidenote though, I am DEFINITELY getting tired as it has hit 2am now.

I’m really liking One Tree Hill so far. One thing I’m really liking about this album, is the places it literally takes my mind to. I think I’m a very visual thinker, these songs evoke blurry pictures that are grounded in nature, images like running through tall grass or driving in some of my favorite places that remind me of my childhood. It feels pretentious to say “my childhood” when I’m 17, but I think it’s easy to understand what I mean. On another more relevant note, this song feels like its painting out an image of what absorbing life feels like: ambedo.

Although it might be the “weirdest” song on the album thus far, I’m enjoying the sonics of Exit. I like how bass heavy it is. Upon further inspection, because I had zero understanding to make of the lyrics, this song was made from the perspective of a serial killer, due to Bono’s reading of a novel. What I found creepily interesting however, was the fact that Robert Bardo used this song as part of his defense for stalking and murdering Rebecca Schaeffer. What I find especially creepy about this, is that I listened to a podcast about this case. An unsettling coincidence.

Continuing on in this unsettling feeling, Mothers of the Disappeared is a heart-wrenching tribute. I don’t think I have much to say about this one, because I have just learned the context to the song’s making and it’s just heartbreaking, I can’t even imagine what families went through. It’s a needed not-so-gentle reminder of what reality can be, and what it is for a lot of people. Its easy to forget that the horrors we hear of are actually real, at least this is the case for me, a girl who has lived in the same city her whole life and generally stays blissfully ignorant. A great finish to the album.

[necromycologist]

rating 'fantasies' songs by their tlt vibes

recently i got really into this album and ive been listening to it nonstop and i got the urge to make this post so behold.

Help I'm Alive

we open with a BANGER. the whole heart motif beauty of existence thing is very tlt in general but "if we're still alive my regrets are few/if my life is mine what shouldnt i do" feels like it could be ntn cam+pal perhaps. 6/10 for general vibes not really going anywhere specific tho.

Sick Muse

i could see this as a convo between gideon and harrow. "pull your little arrows out an let me live my life" she WOULD say that about love... ily harrowhark necro'mancer nonagesimus lyctorway keep sticking your middle finger up at preps. but the main event is "all the blondes are fantasies/we looked at them eleven ways/you said look at me then looked away" like i dont even need to explain this one. YOU SAID LOOK AT ME THEN LOOKED AWAY the orpheus and eurydice the betrayal the hurt why wont you eat me please please consume me why are you saving me sorry one sec. ill shut up about greek myths now. 7.5/10 that one lyric saved it for me

Satellite Mind

this song is so strange and offputting it has to be about our favourite little bone nun <3 its givin htn harrow "i can feel you most when im alone" um the body the body the body "flashback of a feeling/sixth sense of a calling" its the love! that they couldnt take away!! 6/10 because i think that the dreamy freaky what the fuck is happening are suuuuper htn however the actual lyrics arent super close

Gold Guns Girls

i want this song to be about ianthe tridentarius soooooo bad... i want it to be about our favourite perpetually thirdweeling failgirl so much... like ive never wanted anything else ever oh my GOD... "i remember when you were gambling to win/everybody else said better luck next time" underestimated at canaan house anyone? anyone at all? no takers?? no??? 3/10 because despite my deepest wishes this is just a good song thats not about gay catholic homestuck 😔

Gimme Sympathy

slightly ironic gtn griddlehawk at its finest. "get hot/get too close to the flames" oops! now ur her cavalier "wild open space" gideon-gettin-shocked-by-days-on-earth-emotional.png "talk like an open book" not with that vow of silence. idiot. "sign me up!" shes not signed up haha "ill remember someday all the chances we took" not after the lobotomy u wont lol "we're so close to something better left unknown" cough cough LYCTORHOOD. 9/10 manifesting kiriona giving harrow sympathy after all of this is gone in alecto

Collect Call

hiii ntn fans i prommy i didn’t forget abt u! this one goes out to the psychosexual mess of role playing and bad meals enjoyers <3 "i know it's a lie i want it to be true/the rest of the rot is riding on you" oh boy like i said psychosexual mess... pyrra dve my beloved "wishing you could KEEP! ME! CLOSER! IM A LAZY! DANCER! WHEN YOU MOVE! I! MOVE WITH YOUOOOOOOOOO" oh lord nona placing her hand on cam's shoulder like palamedes would. oh lord being so close in one body and yet a second apart. 8/10 should be higher but i started Having Feelings about nona's death again and couldnt finish listening to the song

Front Row

this is a john song if I’ve ever heard one. “burnt out stars they shine so bright… all of us” is def. giving lyctor vibes. (just children playing with reflections thinking they were stars grauauauagh etc etc) plus plus “he’s not perfect/he’s a victim/of his occupation/social insulation/secret intervention” like fuck dude he really is!!! pilot that president around ordinary dude fuck the world up with your good intentions!!! 10/10 this song is the brainrot undying the kindly prince of my lyctor brainrot

Blindness

besties ngl i am INCREDIBLY torn on this one,,, on one hand “what it is and where it stops nobody knows/you gave me a life i never chose/i wanna leave but the world wont let me go” goes crazy hard. like harrowhark ‘cursed to keep living’ nonagesimus? hello is that u? on the other hand the whole opening sequence of this is very blood of eden coded… 5/10 this song has a very Character Energy about it but i think i must accept that that character is probably not a tlt one

Stadium Love

ohohohoo! here she comes!! this song IS about canaan house like the whole thing n nothing will convince me otherwise. "wanna make a deal/angel versus eel" hm im getting gideighth betrayal vibes from this "rabbit versus dove" WHAT DID I SAY colum get back here your government assigned fursona is in the song "owl versus dove" uuuuuh this can be about the sixth being cool basically whenever because sixth -> wisdom -> athena -> owl. idc that they live on mercury fuck off. the blorbos may be smart but i dont have to be. btw camilla hect if you read this im free on thursday night and would like to hang out plz respond and then hang out with me on thursday night when im free. u can bring your necromancer too if yw. "every living thing pushed into the ring" duel time every (necro)man(cer) for himself "guess you thought you could just watch" go on enforce that cohort order judith! it wont backfire at all haha! "NO. ONES. GETTING. OUT" well. uh. none of them are. plus cant you just see the Character Portrait Flashes AMV Moments to the wooowooos?? cant you??? "without STADIUM LOVE" the last time they say this w the beat drop it should be gidedeath cytherea duel epic timez and then the echoing "love love" at the end is harrow waking up and mouthing The Three Syllables TM. 11/10 somebody lend me their animation skills please i would be sooo epic and responsible with them i have a Vison...

in conclusion thx for listening to my deranged ramblings (if anyone actually does.) please go listen to fantasies its so so good... message me and we can brainrot thru it together xoxo

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 318: On Your Left

Previously on BnHA: The Hawksquad+Lurkers were all “well this sucks” and sat around a bit talking about how maybe they should actually come up with a new plan that is actually good, but then in the end they were like “nah.” Deku was all, “THERE’S SOMETHING INSIDE ME THAT PULLS BENEATH THE SURFACE!! CONSUMING, CONFUSING!! THIS LACK OF SELF CONTROL I FEAR IS NEVERENDING. IT’S HAUNTING HOW I CANT SEEM TO FIND MYSELF AGAIN. MY WALLS ARE CLOSING IN.” Just, literally that whole entire song. All Might was all “Deku you should take care of yourself, try eating a thing,” and Deku was all “BYE, ALL MIGHT,” and just LEFT. He left!!! What the fuck!!!

Today on BnHA: Endeavor is all, “maybe if Deku didn’t listen to All Might he’ll listen to me instead.” Deku is all, “[doesn’t listen to Endeavor]” because, well, yeah. The Vestiges are all, “surprisingly, even we are a little concerned -- maybe you should get some rest, kid.” Deku is all, “((Ò ‸ Ó)).” The Vestiges are all, “holy shit.” Deku is all, “[wanders the ruined city streets terrifying the populace on account of him looking like Shelob had a baby with one of the Nazgul].” Some shriveled-up puppeteer villain asshole is all, “HORIKOSHI SAID IT’S MY TURN TO ATTACK DEKU TODAY SO I AM GOING TO SUMMON MY FRIGHTENED HELPLESS ATTACK MOB!!” Kacchan is all “WHADDYA MEAN THEY FOUND THE NERD!!! -- oh wait, that’s me, I found him. I found the nerd, you guys.” And just in time, too. I was about to owe a whole lot of people a whole lot of dollars.

so I have been super good about spoilers this week as always, but let me tell you guys, for the past 36 hours my dash filters have basically been nonstop “manga spoilers” this and “bnha 318” that, and so I’m coming in with a fair amount of hype here. your move, Horikoshi

oh, good! they got Endeavor to call Deku to try to talk him out of it. what a great and wonderful plan

“listen up kid, you haven’t slept since March and you are basically a walking biohazard right now, I’m just telling it like it is. didn’t you get shot like three times?? and there was a whole thing about how you urgently needed medical attention?? and supposedly we gave it to you, but I mean you haven’t even changed your clothes and don’t seem to have any fresh bandages or anything, so did we?? did we, really?? and also we all got blown up yesterday, so yeah.” hmm he’s making some reasonable points here you guys, but you sure do go on and on, Endeavor

oh he says foreign aid is finally on its way! I’m sure they’ll be very helpful. I mean in fairness they can hardly be worse than the home-grown heroes at this point

hey Enji, could you maybe try appealing to Deku the sixteen-year-old human boy, as opposed to Deku The World’s Last Hope? he does have value beyond his quirk. I know that’s always been an incredibly difficult concept for you to grasp, but could you maybe TRY, jesus

and also we’re worried about you as a person?? you’re just a kid and you’re pushing yourself way too hard?? you were going to say that part next, right. why the hell didn’t Hawks make this call instead

“don’t worry about me... I’m completely fine” Deku you do understand that saying it over and over again doesn’t actually make it true

and again with the rush!! all the rush rush rush!! we’re running out of time, we can’t let AFO and Tomura keep getting stronger, I have to end this now, there’s no time to rest, etc. etc. etc. just the constant pressure of this whole big countdown on top of everything else

holy shit, you KNOW it’s bad when even the Vestiges are telling him to chill

these guys are basically the walking talking embodiments of self-sacrifice; if even they’re telling him he needs to take five, then he must seriously be like half a step away from death’s door

OH SHIT LMAO

DIDN’T EVEN LET HIM FINISH HIS SENTENCE BEFORE HE SENT HIM INTO THE FUCKING SHADOW REALM WITH THAT FUCKING LOOK. HOLY FUCK. DIDN’T EVEN KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO DIE TWICE. SHIT

(ETA: so I’m pretty sure this was just Danger Sense activating and so he cut them off to go do more hero stuff, but I’m gonna go ahead and stick to my original interpretation anyway lol.)

anyway so how’s everybody doing. we all good? En, you good? Banjou? Shino? I’m imagining you guys all curled up in a little ball on the floor right now lol. can’t say I blame you though, no shame

lmaoooooooooooo

“SHEESH.” sheesh indeed, lmao. “what in the FUCK was that”

see, this is why y’all need Kacchan. you need someone who’s not going to back down from him no matter what. if it’s a matter of out-stubborning Midoriya fucking Izuku, then there’s only one other person on the planet capable of that, and we all know it. don’t pretend like you don’t. I am not going to shut up about this! we’ve had our hurt so now what about SOME COMFORT, DAMMIT

“I’m afraid that he’s becoming influenced by my conscience” nah are you kidding Nana this is all 100% made-in-Japan pure original Deku right here

see, Banjou gets it. “that kid, he’s totally going on his own.” exactly. this was so inevitable it was basically scientific law

“well I for one don’t see the problem with Deku being so obsessed with saving everyone else that he pushes himself until his body and soul literally fall apart” okay, whose speech bubbles are these?? we’re about to have words

lol of course

well you always did prefer the direct route didn’t you. but even you can’t possibly think this is okay lol

dark AU!Kacchan please tell us more about your badass doomed timeline in which everything went to shit and you apparently had the same character arc that Deku is having right now except it somehow made you sexier instead of turning you into a rabid t-rex. I have so many questions

oh so now you want to help??? well -- good, actually. sorry if that sounded offended just now lol

(ETA: so at first when I got to the end of this chapter I was wondering if Katsuki B. had somehow summoned his alternate-universe counterpart through trippy OFA space telepathy lol. but in the original Japanese there’s no reference to “we”, so this appears to be a mistranslation. this line should probably read more like “if there’s something/someone out there that would be able to complement/complete the current Midoriya Izuku [it would be]…” which, oh hello, is that Horikoshi once again reaffirming that Deku and Bakugou complete each other lol. “guess what guys, the Vestiges ship it too" heck yeah. they know what’s up!)

look how admiring his boyfriends are. HORIKOSHI GIVE US THE REST OF THIS BACKSTORY ALREADY GODDAMMIT

“meanwhile somewhere in the depths of the ruined city, Deku was having a dance-off with the villains”

I like how the villains all have this “AHH WHAT THE FUCK” kind of body language to them lol. I mean if it were me, and an eldritch horror suddenly clawed its way from the shadows with its writhing glowy tentacles and pants-shitting nuclear death stare, I would probably just die on the spot. no need to stick around. only pain awaits

lol for a minute I thought this was Can’t Ya See-kun and I was like “WHAT A FASCINATING CROSSING OF PATHS” but it’s just some random girl

he seems genuinely confused lol

Deku it’s because you look like something that crawled out of a sewer drain, sweetheart

lol they just took his word for it?

so trusting. even though they’re immediately hauling ass anyway just to be safe lmao

“my appearance is frightening to others” no shit Deku it’s because you look like a fucking alien exorcism. you look like a Lich that got caught up in an oil spill my dude

NO NOT THE CHOSEN ONE ANGST AGAIN

I RAN OUT OF ESSAY JUICE FOR THIS ALREADY HORIKOSHI!! I’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT FOR MONTHS NOW WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG!! BUT ANYWAYS, GOOD!! I MEAN, BAD, THOUGH, OBVIOUSLY. BUT YES

“ENJOY THIS MONTAGE OF DEKU BATTLING A RANDOM KAIJU AND WANDERING THE WOODS LIKE A DERANGED GREEN BABA YAGA” okay yes but sir, exactly how much longer is this going to go on. if it’s a matter of you wanting to make sure we get it, let me assure you that aside from a few stray chuunis who think that Deku embracing the Darkness is the coolest thing he’s ever done, all of us here in fandom fully comprehend that this is Not Good

-- OH SO IT’S LIKE THAT

really. with the flashbacks to his loved ones’ smiling faces and everything. not even gonna try to aim above the belt, huh

AND NO KACCHAN??! NO CLASSMATES?!?! IS HE PURPOSELY NOT THINKING OF THEM??? OR ARE THEY BEING SAVED FOR THE NEXT PAGE??? SO HELP ME, IF THE NEXT PART OF THIS SENTENCE IS “CAN PROTECT THEM”, OR EVEN WORSE, “CAN SEE THEIR SMILING FACES AGAIN”, I...

WHAT DID I JUST SAY

(ETA: my man did Sero and Kaminari fucking dirty lmao. I miss their smiling faces too omg.)

the sheer, unparalleled irony of him saying this while he stands there looking like the gargoyle demon from Fantasia got crossed with an umbrella that got struck by lightning. Deku :(

oi who the fuck is this clown

is he controlling this mob with his evil hair. “what if I made an exhausted, running-on-fumes Deku battle a brainwashed mob at Ground Zero.” Horikoshi do you just have like a checklist of horrible things you want to do to your protagonist

easy there Sasori

well joke’s on you buddy because he’s apparently “completely fine”, so

“here’s to hoping that you know more about AFO’s location than the others” jesus christ Deku you really have hung your mercy out to dry huh

now he’s forcing his mob of terrified prisoners to attack Deku ahhhh. sucks to be them. at least they’re not being controlled by bees

so Deku is saying that Sasori’s control can be broken with “physical trauma.” similar to Shinsou’s quirk I guess. but so does that mean he’s gonna have to hurt them? ( •﹏•)

NO NOT MORE SAD EYES

“DEATH BY EMPATHY!!!” HORIKOSHI NO

fuck. he looks like he’s on the verge of passing out

this is what happens when you nerf a character’s self-preservation stats in favor of spamming their bone-breaking stats instead. NOW ACCEPTING BRAIN CELL DONATIONS FOR A BOY IN NEED!! with your loving generosity we can hopefully help him live to the ripe old age of seventeen

OMGFGGG

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

[grabs your hands] ლ(*꒪ヮ꒪*)ლ [swings you in a circle] へ(ﾟ◇ﾟへ)

THASSSSSSSS WHATSSSSSSS UPPPPPPPPPP

HORIKOSHI REALLY SAID FUCK THAT MASK (ノ°ο°)ノ YOU FINALLY LEARNED!! IT’S CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!!

JUST FOR YOU KACCHAN, HORIKOSHI LEFT THIS ONE BAD GUY WHO’S STILL WEAK TO FIRE. GOD BLESS

IT’S YOUR COUNTERPART, KATSUKI B!!!! HOW WE DOIN OVER THERE IN THE TRIPPY COSMIC OFA SPACE REALM LOL. DO WE BELIEVE YET, FANDOM???

LIGHTS!!!!

INSTANT RESULTS!!! IT’S SUPER EFFECTIVE!!!

(ETA: imagine what this must look like to Deku though. he’s been caught up in this dark cloud of despair and exhaustion that’s been building up over... I’m gonna go ahead and say “weeks”, because yeah. and now he finds himself here, in the place where All Might’s legacy ended and the torch was passed to him. and the world is in ruins, and he’s surrounded by frightened people who are all trying to hurt him -- because who isn’t trying to hurt him, these days -- and he’s scrambling to figure this all out, but meanwhile the weariness is finally starting to catch up to him, and so he’s basically just standing there in a fog of complete and utter misery.

and then all of a sudden through that haze, he hears the one voice that’s more familiar than any other that he knows. like, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he thought he was just imagining it at first. Kacchan showing up to save him right when he’s at his most desperate and feeling the most alone. Kacchan, showing up to save him.

this is the person he always looked up to as a child (to be fair he was quite a strange child lmao). the person who was even closer to him than All Might. the person he always thought was amazing. and bam, here he is now. appearing in the sky out of nowhere to one-shot the bad guy with a single blast (which, btw, that was his armor-piercing attack too lmao dslkjlk take it easy there kiddo). like, that must have felt absolutely surreal to him, especially coming at a time when he’s already half-delirious and barely hanging on to reality. he must have really thought that he was losing it there for a second.

but he’s really there. it really is him. and for this brief moment -- before the rest of the situation catches up to him, and he remembers about all of the fucked-up AFO stuff, and remembers why he was so afraid and why he was pushing everyone away -- for just this one brief moment, he’s too exhausted and stunned to do anything except to just react. just stands there, looking up at him in awe.

and you know, it almost reminds me of...

just. you guys. the character development. the freaking character development. someone who brings reassurance. someone who shows up and makes you think, “oh, it’s all going to be okay now, because [person] is here.” the role reversals. the growth. the payoff!! because who is the one person who always had faith that Kacchan would one day grow up to become an amazing hero like that. WHO IS IT. YOU ALREADY KNOW.

omg. anyways, bless you Horikoshi, my feels which have been on backorder since fucking September have finally arrived lmao. yes, good, thank you. worth the wait. it is always, always worth the wait. fuck yeah.)

“LOWFRIES” SO YOU’RE TELLING ME THE WHOLE GANG IS HERE, AHHHHHHHH (º̩̩́⌣º̩̩̀ )

BEAUTIFUL. WONDERFUL. SENSATIONAL. I DON’T EVEN CARE THAT JUMP IS ON BREAK NEXT WEEK. THIS RIGHT HERE WILL SUSTAIN ME

[alreadyblondenow]

Never get to hold you | Lee Haechan

Lee Haechan x female!reader x Lee Jeno

▸ Fluff, smut, angst? Haechan is poor ▸ Part of To All the Members I’ve Loved Before: Dear 127, hosted by me ​

Summary: Growing up in a fucked up household, Haechan has always been thankful for his friend Jeno for treating him like his real brother. From giving him food, to letting him stay in their big house, to lending him money for school. Jeno has always been an angel. Until one day, Haechan found another angel, you. Finally his life is now brighter than ever… but not for long, because Jeno likes you too. Will Haechan let this once in a lifetime love slip and give you to his true friend who’s always been nice to him? Or will he be selfish?

Work count: 6k flat amazing

Warnings: Smut, toxic household, mentions of parents fighting, Haechan is poor here, if you are not okay with the idea please click away. Unprotected sex, couch sex, mentions of rough sex, overstimulating, Haechan smoked one cigarette, mentions of alcohol, alcohol consumption, mentions of Haechan’s sister, break up, slight cheating? but not really A/N: Pure fiction. Haechan’s character here is inspired by Justin Fooley from 13 reasons why. And the friendship is inspired by Bryce and Justin’s friendship. hehe. Originally this is a cheating au, but I’ve been writing a lot of cheating au so.... lets do the right thing for now. HAHA. also I did not include a lot of smut just because it doesn’t fit the story so i hope you understand that and still enjoy reading this. <3 

A peaceful night that’s what Haechan longs for. A night free from the screaming and shouting of his parents, the glass shattering and never-ending blaming. He turns the volume up of the song he’s listening to from his mp3 player, closed his eyes, and tried sleeping. It’s not calming or whatsoever but it’s better than hearing the bickering.

For Haechan, sleep does not fix anything but it sure does make him feel better once he wakes up and finally faces another fun day in school. Yes. That’s right, Haechan loves going to school for it makes him feel like he’s a normal person. Not everyone in school knew how fucked up his life is and that’s another thing why he loves going to school. School and his friends have been his escape.

“You’re coming tonight right?” Jeno sneaks from behind and swings an arm on his best friend.

“Of course I’ll be there. I have to drive your drunk ass home-“ Haechan jokes but he was soon interrupted by something so unfortunate.

His shoes gave up on him.

“I think I should go and get this fixed before class starts. Not again,” Haechan said, stopping to remove his worn-out shoes and check them further while Jeno watch him.

“I have my Balenciaga shoes in my locker I don’t use that anymore. If you don’t want to keep it or accept it, at least use it for the day,” Jeno smiles at his friend and pats his back. But before Haechan could even say no to his best friend, Jeno is long gone for the school bell rang already.

Every since Haechan is new in town, Jeno has been a good friend to him. Both very different boys but they are brothers by heart and got each other’s back. For Haechan, Jeno is an angel to which he almost feels bad for not giving something in return for all the things Jeno gave him. Not just material things but Jeno offers financial help to Haechan too, in fact, Jeno is the reason why Haechan’s mother got a job at a store Mrs. Lee owns.

So you see, being a loyal and true friend is the only thing Haechan can give in return for now.

After school, Haechan fixed his wretched shoes before going to his part-time job. There, while he looks over the convenience store, he does his homework on the side and makes sure that he studies in advance so he can get closer to the college and scholarship that he’s aiming for and finally get out of this hell hole.

“You like studying so much?”

A voice made him drop his pen and went to work immediately. Punching the cashier and putting the stuff you bought in a plastic bag with a shy smile. A shy smile that miraculously lights up your day, he’s like a sun you thought.

“College. You’re new here right? I saw you earlier with the student body president. I’ve been there, being new in town will get easier... with the right people” Haechan says.

“Well, I had a bad first day, but thank you.... Hyuck. It’s great to know that eventually, everything will get better ” you read his name tag and smiled so sweetly at him. Oh, you wish it’s not obvious that you’re flirting.

When you left you’re all he could think of. He can’t stop thinking about your smile, how it’s obvious that you’re flirting with him but he thinks you’re so cute rather than flirty, he even beats himself up for not asking your name and making you stay longer.

As he walks his way home under a quiet night and with nothing in his head but your smile, he replays his only memory of you in his head while smiling alone and looking like a complete idiot. But when he was just a few walks from his house, he hears the screaming and shouting again.

He ran towards the door and straight to his sister’s room, not giving a fuck about why his parents are fighting. He hugs his little sister who’s in tears and basically shaking from fear, keeping her close to him to let her know that he is here now. And this is the sadness and reality he had to face every day.

“You scared?” He whispers but his face shows no fear to show his sister that his big brother is ready to protect her.

“Where were you?” She whines and snuggles to her brother more.

“I was at work, sorry. You know something wonderful happened to me today,” Haechan ready himself to tell his sister how you two met for the first time. She has always loved Hyuck’s stories and she’s always interested in the people his brother is friends with, especially Jeno.

“Well, why didn’t you ask her name? Will you see her again?” She asks eagerly. “I want more stories about her, she sounds sweet even though your conversation was too short”

“Yeah I know. Maybe I can talk to her by Monday and tell her, ‘hey my little sister wants us to be friends’” he jokes.

And so the night went on, exchanging stories with his sister until his parents stopped fighting and eventually his sister fell asleep in his arms. To be honest,  he didn’t want to leave his sister alone after what happened tonight, but he promised Jeno that he will be there so he needs to be there.

Going to Jeno’s birthday celebration in a bar downtown is the last thing he wants to do after having a hard night. The bar was loud, packed, and it’s giving him a headache. So he promised himself that he will stay here for half an hour only, which did not happen because his heart feels heavy.

So he went out to have a cigarette and to clear his mind, having a debate with his conscience whether he’s going back in or not.

“The answer is no,” you said from behind which made him turn immediately and face you. “I’m watching you for a few minutes already and your feet is obviously hesitating to go back inside”

“It’s that obvious? Am I really that easy to read?” he takes one final hit from his cigarette before he throws it away. You nod with a smile to answer his question. It’s obvious that you’re happy to see each other again. “Why aren’t you inside? It’s cold out here,” he would give you his jacket if only he’s wearing one right now but he’s not.

“Everyone is loud inside and I feel like I’ve had enough of the screaming and overflowing booze, you know?” You answered awkwardly. Little did you know that Haechan feels the exact same thing. “But I should probably go and not ruin the silence here too so-“

“I can’t stop thinking about you” Haechan finally blurted out. He didn’t mean to but those are the words that came out from his mouth the moment he saw you turn and was about to walk away. “I don’t even know your name but my sister thinks your cool” he added, trying to sound fun and interesting. Heck, he’s trying to make you stay.

And it's working.

“You have a sister and you told her about me?” Haechan nods with a shy smile, “Well what did you tell her?” You asked with a flirty tone.

“I told her that I’ve never seen a smile so beautiful and that I feel stupid for not asking your name” he shamelessly flirts and came closer to you, making your heart beat faster and making you really nervous.

“Take me some somewhere quiet and I’ll tell you my name” you flirted back.

And without any second thoughts, he brought you to a place where you two can laugh out loud freely, and there's no loud music to bother the moment. You introduced yourself and all he did was giggle and tell you that his little sister will be happy about this. Haechan made you laugh nonstop, telling you the happy memories he holds dear and even small parts about his life, without fooling you and making you think that he’s someone else.

Now that he gets the chance to talk to you again, he wanted to embrace you while he pours all his honesty to you and hopes that you don’t mind liking someone fucked up like him. But Haechan thought that telling you that he’s poor as a rat on your first night together is not something worth staying for, so he shrugged it off and continue asking more about you.

Until you both lost track of time and he offered to walk you home, which you think it’s sweet.

“Do you want to have some water first, before you go? It’s a long way back. M-my parents are not home so no need to be shy,” you offered with a hint of other intentions that he surely understood. And thankfully he accepted.

The moment you closed the door, he stopped you from opening the lights, his hands are on your face and your lips touched immediately. Returning the kiss without hesitation, heads turning continuously and both tongues are wanting for something more.

You motion him to the couch and push him until he falls on the cushions and let out a quiet giggle. It was a pity that you wouldn’t see his bright smile. “You okay with this?” he slips his hand inside your shirt and smoothly removed it.

“More than okay,” you said and started to undo his belt and remove his pants. Soon, you’re both wearing only your underwear while grinding on top of each other. Shy to make a move but your kisses and moans say otherwise. You’re the one who initiates it this time, unclasping your bra and making him knead and cup your boobs shamelessly.

“Do I need a condom?” he asks, removing his boxers brief, throwing it on the floor, and immediately slipped his hand inside your panties while you’re on top of him kissing him like there’s no tomorrow.

You moaned softly when his fingers made contact with your very wet slit and told him, “No. But pull out?” he nods and told you he will. And because of that assurance, you finally removed your panties and went on top of him.

“It’s hard to pull out if you’re going to be on top, maybe next time?” He says and effortlessly switched your positions, putting him on top of you. He pulls away for a second and pumped his cock in between your opened legs, came in closer to kiss you before he pushes his in.

His kisses were gentle and sweet like he’s not about you fuck you in the next few seconds. But when he finally lined his cock and slowly thrust in, both of you moaned and forgot that you were kissing for a second. Sharp gasps escaped your mouth while delicious groans escaped from his. Slowly he takes his time pushing in and out without thrusting all the way, which surely builds the momentum and it definitely made you want more of him.

“I’ll go deeper” thankfully he noticed and pushed in finally. Thrusting a little bit quicker than earlier while his fingers are busy drawing circles on your clit.

Soon, you’re both on edge. Too shy to admit it but you can’t stop clenching and unclenching around him, “Stop doing that,” he says and kissed your neck, bitting the shell of your ear to hear you giggle while he makes you moan deliciously.

He came first as expected because you can’t stop moaning behind his ears and making him feel good with your tight walls. He shoots his cum on your stomach, away from your pussy while his other hand is continuously drawing fast circles and making you cum in no time.

You shivered like crazy and tried closing your legs but Haechan got a hold of it and overstimulated you.

“Wild-brutal, that’s you” you said while you continue to shiver, curl yourself in a ball and beg him to stop.

He kisses your body, avoiding his cum but still managed to suck your nipples good as you come down from your high. When you’re finally calm, you reached for the tissue on the coffee table to wipe yourself clean but he snatched the tissue from your hand and did it himself. After that, you moved your body and make room on the small couch so he can lie beside you, using his arms as your pillow, keeping you close to his sweaty body.

“You’re the second girl I kept in my arms tonight,” he says softly. Looking into your eyes directly. You know that it's his sister and it made you smile and planted a kiss on his lips.

“Can you keep it that way then?” you said, softly like how he spoke. He nods and tightens his hug.

“To be honest I feel like I’m a slut right now because I slept with you first... on my first day of school, my first day of meeting you-“

“Sssh. You think too much. You’re not a slut. I like you, you like me. It’s a normal reaction” he kisses your lips and your cheeks one too many times to make you giggle and eventually let go of your thoughts. “I have to go back to my friends” he added.

“What- No, stay, please. My parents wouldn’t mind” you begged but he shook his head and got up from his comfort.

“I’ll find you again”

“Well give me your phone” you said, eager to make him stay. Eager to stay in his life.

“I don’t have one because I can’t afford one” Haechan was shy to tell you the truth but he didn’t want to lie to you. But of course, you understand him instead of prying. You sat up, kissed him sweetly and told him,

“It’s fine. You know where I live, so we're going to do this old school then” you giggle and make the most of the few minutes you have with him. He reached for your panties and helped you wear them together with your shirt, leaving a soft kiss on your lower abdomen.

“Is that fine? Going old school?” He asks smiling and asking for another kiss.

“More than fine, that means I get to see you always” he giggled and told you that’s right and continued wearing the rest of his clothes.

The next day, Haechan woke up with a smile on his face by just merely thinking about you and thinking of going to your house tonight and surprise you after he hangs out with Jeno at the amusement park.

As his day went on with his best friend, all he thinks about is you. Did you eat already, how was your sleep, do you think of him, and what are you doing now? These are questions that he wanted to ask you because he misses you already, but also, these are the questions that attracted the universe into putting you both in the same place.

Just a few minutes ago, Haechan is thinking about you but now you’re right in front of him... with a blindfold at The Kissing Booth and about to kiss Jeno.... Jeno of all people.

There, Haechan stood and watch you and Jeno kiss in front of the audience. Watching your friends take a video and giggle as much as they want because you have no idea who you’re kissing right now. Oh they would kill to be in your position and taste Jeno’s lips. While you... you think about the gentleman who made you laugh over and over again last night, the gentleman who’s honest about everything, and the gentleman who made you feel good on your family couch last night.

And when you removed your blindfold, you can’t help but feel disappointed. It’s not Haechan you’re kissing, he hasn’t found you again.

When Jeno came closer and attempted to kiss you again, you pushed him away in front of many people, smiled and whispered, “We had our fun already, I think that’s enough. Sorry, I was hoping you’d be someone else” and came down from the stage to join your friends.

The disappointment in Jeno’s face was evident. He felt like he violated you or something and wanted to apologize further but you didn’t give him a chance. He saw Haechan standing in the corner with a soda in his hand and joined him, “That was something. I feel like I was taken to another dimension while I was kissing her. Damn I like her already” Jeno admits, having no clue that Haechan knows exactly what he’s talking about.

“Hey.... Haechan” you taped his shoulder which made him and Jeno turn around. You didn’t want to be bold and flirty with him in front of his friend so you just said hey.

Jeno was shocked to the core when you approached his friend and not him, and he was even more shocked to see you smile so sweetly at Haechan. “You know each other?” he asks you both nervously.

“Yes”

“No”

“N-no. Not really. Dude, everyone knows her. New girl in town plus she came by the store during my shift yesterday after school” Haechan explains. Completely denying that you two shared something special the other night.

Good thing Jeno believed and accepted Haechan’s explanation, so this time he didn’t waste any more time and shoot his shot. “I want to apologize to you. Can we go for a walk? Alone together-“

“Good idea man. I think I should go. I have a shift at the store, s-see you at school. B-both of you,” he says and awkwardly walks out and left you with Jeno.

You wanted to follow him, you would rather want to watch him work at the store than be with Jeno and waste your time strolling around the park, you’ve been wanting to be with him ever since you opened your eyes this morning and now you can’t believe that he denied you in front of his friend.

The whole time he was walking in circles around his neighborhood, Haechan can’t stop thinking about you and Jeno. Even hating the universe more for making him and Jeno like the same girl. Fuck, he murmured frustratingly until he came to a thought that maybe life brought you to Haechan’s life so he could finally give something back to his best friend.

Maybe he’s doing the right thing by letting you and Jeno get to know each other.

“You’re a fool,” his sister teases him while he watches her brush her teeth. Haechan just snorted and let out a small laugh knowing that his little sister is smart and that she’s growing up wise.

“But when you grow old you can’t just commit to something or someone if you know to yourself that you can’t. Be honest,” he kisses her sister good night and tucked her to bed. Wishing for her sister to grow up strong and smart, and not like him.

///

After a few weeks of seeing Jeno and going out on dates with him, you force yourself to think that what happened between you and Haechan is just a one time thing. That you were just horny teenagers that night who both had a bad day that’s why you thought it was something special.

It’s not that you’re using Jeno to forget Haechan, but Jeno is the one making his moves and trying so hard to impress you. He’s almost as nice as Haechan you thought. Maybe that’s why they’re best friends, and maybe that’s why now you look forward to seeing Jeno every day because you see Haechan in him.

Until one night, you and Jeno had a rather hot night that leads you two to his bed. Sex with Jeno is rough and fast and to be honest you forgot how many condoms he used because the sex was that good. And in that very moment, you realized that the only difference between Jeno and Haechan is the way they fuck. Jeno made you forget Haechan whenever you two are in bed and that made you want Jeno to fuck you more each day.

But Jeno is a natural sweetheart, a lover boy who shows you that he is a great man and a good person. “I know we fuck too much and it's obvious that something is bothering you” he says, hugging you closely while you’re on top of him after a very good car sex. “You can tell me, you know?” he added but you just shook your head no. “Okay okay, I understand. I love you. Whatever you’re going through or whatever that’s bothering you, continue to lean on me. Use me if you must,”

And right then and there, you decided to return the love Jeno is giving you.

It was not easy but it was worth it. Jeno loved you so much, more than you could ever imagine. You spend your senior year together, made memories each day, have good sex after school or during weekends, be the life of the party together, and meet each other’s family.

“Are you happy with me?” he whispers behind your ear while he hugs you from behind.

“What kind of question is that?” you said, turning around to meet his eyes and rake his hair away from his face. Not giving a fuck about the people watching you two flirt in the middle of a crowded place with drunk teenagers.

“Just a question. My way of checking if I’m still a good boyfriend” he admitted shyly. You rolled your eyes and came closer to him, planting a soft kiss on his lips which soon became heated and his hands roamed freely around your body.

“Mhmm. I'm happy, I love you” you whisper and you mean it.

“I love you too” he smiles and continues the kiss.

And while you two are in your own private world minding your business, Haechan watches from afar with a beer in his hand. Jealous, but not mad. Happy, but for you and his best friend. You deserve each other, he thought.

So as you and Jeno make your relationship strong and pour all your love on each other, Haechan became even more hardworking, focused more on his studies, and looking for more jobs to save more money. It was his way of forgetting you.

During a party that Jeno threw in his house, everything was intensely wild and everyone got drunk during the party, except Haechan because he was late due to his shift from one of his part-time job.

He saw you laughing with your friends near the poolside. You look beautiful tonight, as always. And at the same time, you look drunk already and all he wanted to do is take care of you but that’s not his job.

“Great that you’re here man, ugh. I’m so drunk” Jeno whines, almost about to throw but he’s still in control. “Here. Promised her dad I’d bring her home, but obviously, I can’t now. I can’t drive while I’m like this, knowing that she’s in the car with me. Too risky. Please dude, thank you”

And just like that, the responsibility and the power to take care of you is passed unto him.

“Baby, Haechan will bring you home- I can’t drive” Jeno admitted to you. Giving you his jacket before he walks you towards his car.

“W-what? Let me stay then, I’ll take care of you. Then you can drive me home when you’re sober” you said but your boyfriend said no and told you you’re as drunk as him. So you didn’t have a choice but to go inside the car with Haechan. He watched you two kiss goodbye and say your I love yous with each other before he drives away and takes you home.

The drive was silent. You didn’t dare to open your mouth and ask how he’s been, he didn’t dare to open his mouth and tell you that you’re beautiful. And it stayed like this until he reaches your house and parked in front of it.

“Do you remember the night that you walked me home?” you started, and you think it’s the alcohol that's talking. Haechan just nods and lets out a heavy sigh. “I wish it never happened. I wish I didn’t flirt back then and went back inside that bar instead of asking you to take me somewhere quiet” you admitted, feeling your heart break but you can finally breathe better now that you told him what you really feel. But deep inside you didn’t mean it. You’re just saying that because you’re still mad at him for denying you.

He unbuckles his seatbelt and reached for you, shamelessly hugging you, and placed a sweet kiss on your temple. You feel his tears and that made you hug him back. Staining his shirt with your tears that you kept for months.

“I’m sorry. I can’t give you what Jeno can give you. My life is a mess, I’m a trash and you deserve someone better. Someone who can take care of you, I can’t” he hugged you a little bit tighter to let you know that he’s sincere. And after a few minutes of silence, he explained his part to you and you listened attentively not because he owes you an explanation but because you miss his voice.

“When I was new here, bullies just won't stop teasing me, then Jeno became my friend and suddenly they all stopped. Jeno didn’t mind if I’m poor, he just wanted a brother and found it in me. That’s why whenever I’m in need he’s always to the rescue, my books, my mother’s job, this Rolex watch that I only use whenever I need it at work. I remember he gave this to me because he didn’t want to give me cash because he was afraid that will make me feel small. So instead he gave me this watch and expected me to pawn it. But I can’t because it’s like a token of our friendship”

“I get it. Bro code” you said calmly and watch him nod. “But who are you to tell me who to love. My heart still belongs to you when Jeno was courting me, I think about you when he kisses me-“

“Do you still feel the same way?” he blurted out, looking at your lips and thinking of kissing it one last time before you have your closure. But he won't.

“I love Jeno but you still have this great effect on me, you still have my heart” you admitted.

“I’m sure you understand me now. Why I don’t want to hurt my friend” you nod because you do understand him, you don’t want to hurt your boyfriend either, “He’s an angel” Haechan added.

When Haechan left and drove away, you feel like he took your heart away with him. Like that one specific night you had sex with him and you didn’t want him to go. You know what you said. You don’t want to hurt Jeno and you do love him, but what can you do? Your heart still belongs to Haechan.

After that understanding with Haechan, you suddenly became cold towards Jeno and all you could think about is Haechan. Obviously, Jeno can see right through you. He knows you, whenever something troubles you, you will keep it to yourself and you won’t tell it to him. So he made a way to cheer you up, but it ended up annoying you.

He invited you to his house to have a sleepover and movie night with him. The thing is, Jeno knew you love having sex with him so the moment you two are alone in his room with all the lights off and only his big flat-screen TV is on, he tried putting you in the mood and became way too touchy.

“Stop” you whine as Jeno starts kissing your neck while his hands roam free around your body. It feels good you can’t lie, but you’re not in the mood so you pushed him a little too hard which made him even more frustrated.

“What did I do wrong? I wish you could open up to me more, Y/n” he gets up from his bed and gave you space. “You’ve been like that for days and days already, I don’t know if I did something wrong. Baby, just tell me. I’ll fix it,”

And there it is. Your very reason why you loved him “Why do you have to be so nice?” you murmur and sat beside him. You knew that this isn’t the right time to tell him about Haechan, but he asked what's bothering you so you’re going to tell him the truth and do the right thing. Bravely, you told him every inch of your feelings, the truth about you and Haechan, and hopes that he will not get mad at you or his friend.

He listened. While Holding your hand. Close to tears but he won’t cry in front of you. Not yet. But now that he knows the truth about you and his best friend, he felt like he stole you from him.

“Don’t be mad at him, he just feels obligated to give back to all the kindness you have done to him and his family” you wait for his reaction. You expect him to get mad or throw a fit but all he did was kiss your knuckles, hold them tightly, and kept you close while he can.

“So what now? Do you need time? Space even? It hurts like hell, I must admit but I can’t force you to stay” he says, with tears in his eyes and trying so hard to look strong.

“I need space from the both of you, choosing is not easy. I don’t want to hurt you in the future Jeno” you said.

“I can’t force you to stay, but I can beg right? I love you-“ He cups your face and leaves too many kisses on your lips, saying he loves you over and over again, begging you to please choose him.

“I’m sorry Jeno, please don’t beg. You don’t deserve this,” you made him stop begging and pull him into a tight hug. Inviting him to come to bed with you and savor this night together while you can because, on the next day, you will leave him.  

///

When you broke up with Jeno and focused all your energy on school, you walk almost every day from school to your house just so you can sort out your thoughts.

Jeno stopped begging you to come back after a few months and got himself a new girlfriend while Haechan… well, he’s doing his best with avoiding you. Still, breaking up with Jeno is a wise decision because now it’s clear that you don’t love him like how you love and long for Haechan.

“Fuck” you curse at the rain for pouring out of nowhere and you have no choice but to enter the store that Haechan is looking after. Just like the rain, you came out of nowhere and shock him. But shocking him and ruining his peace was not your intention, you’re just waiting for the rain to stop so you can go and walk again.

Shivering because of the store’s air conditioning, you hug yourself to keep yourself warm in every way you can but it’s not enough. You tried going out again but the rain kept pouring and it started to rain hard again when you tried and open the door. But then you heard the sound of the air conditioning being turned off, and Haechan is behind you holding the remote and some extra clothes.

“You’ll get sick if you stay wet. Here-“ he awkwardly hands you an extra shirt and his hoodie, “You can change back there. There’s no one else in this store except me,” he says and points at the door for the staff room. Of course you accepted his offer and you’re happy that he still cares.

When you got back, you saw him preparing you a hot drink and made you sit on one of the vacant chairs. “How are you?” he asks, stirring the drink and puts it in front of you carefully.

“I’ve been well, thank you for asking. How about you? How's your sister?”

“I’m doing good too. And my sister is fine”

And after that, an awkward silence made you both giggle and feel shy about being alone in this cold store. But not for long. Haechan initiated the conversation and made small talk with you. If he’s being honest right now, he doesn’t want you to shut up. He wanted you to talk and talk freely without being shy… like that first night you spend together.

When the rain stopped, he walked you home again and you both enjoyed the cool breeze and wet street. Admiring the calmness that the rain brought. “Why did you avoid me? After me and Jeno broke up?” you asked calmly.

“I know we learned the hard way and we’ve been through some stuff” he came closer and put strands of your hair behind your ear, “I’ve been helping myself to be better for you so this time I won’t fuck us up, and I wasn’t avoiding you. I’m giving you time to heal” he smiles and looked into your eyes deeply.

“Can we start again?” he finally blurted out. “This is my final attempt on keeping you, and… I just want to fight for you this time”

The rain was a blessing after all. You don’t know if the rain was a sign of starting over again but you’re glad that you decided to walk today and got soaked in the rain and did not have a choice but to enter that convenience store. But you’re happy that the rain brought you back together, so you hugged him tightly as your answer and warned him with all your might.

“If I wake up tomorrow and you deny me again, I swear Lee Haechan-“

And just like that, he cuts you off with a kiss, an act of promise so you won’t need to worry for the next day. “My sister will kill me if I let go of you again” he giggles and continue kissing you.

Who would have thought that you need only the rain for you and Haechan to get back together? Because after that night, he kept his promise to you. He never left your side and you never left his. Life wasn’t easy for him still, but you made sure you stayed with him through thick and thin.

Even though Haechan can’t bring you to expensive dates or movie dates, being with him while he’s working at the convenience store is more than enough for you. “I love my job. I can earn money while having a study date with you in this cold store” he says, kissing your temple while you’re busy reading and studying beside him.

Your remaining high school days were full of him and you wouldn’t trade it for anything.

After graduation, you and Haechan planned on living together even though you’re both going to different schools, thankfully your schools aren’t that far from each other. Living together is not easy, your parents warned you. But Haechan made it easy for you because he loves you so much. Nonetheless, you would still choose a hard life with and just so you could be together the moment you open your eyes in the morning until you close them to end your day at night.

“It's you and me from now on, Y/n” he whispers beside your ear, hugging you from behind so tightly like you’re going somewhere and finally kiss you good night.

MAIN MASTERLIST FAQ / WIPS / CALENDAR ABOUT B

To this blog’s audience, please do not steal my works save yourself from the shame. Do not translate my works, they’re not worthy. Also if you see someone who stole my work, kindly reach out to me.

[h2bakugou]

Yes yes yes yesyesyesyesyes ok!! So then can I request present mic? Doing anything??? No I’m kidding I do actually have a prompt. I was thinking abt mic’s radio show and specifically, if he had an s/o who wrote music. Bc u know he would help them produce it and then play it nonstop on air aaaaaa

a/n: yes!! present mic love!! i love him so much i swear! <3 he has my heart dkdkmn this is such a cute request please- i apologize for the late posting!!

summary: you're an ambitious, gleeful, songbird at heart, and though you're quirkless, you've captivated the heart of the music-loving, radio show hosting, loud, sweetheart, present mic!

key: (y/n) - your name / (f/n) - first name / (l/n) - last name / (e/c) - eye color / (h/c) - hair color / (y/q) - your quirk

warnings: swearing, fluff

word count: 1.3k

;cut for length;

»»————-　★　————-««

»»————-　★　————-««

You started as an intern. A beaming smile on your lips most days, always happy to be in the studio with Mic when he was teaching you the ins and outs of radio hosting.

You'd majored in music business, the end goal in mind of writing and releasing your own music, though most of your plans had fallen through, the only opportunity to get you back on your feet after college being this deal you couldn't pass up.

Co-hosting with Present Mic on his own radio show.

The offer had actually been given to you by one of your superiors at the studio you worked at, having seen your optimism when it came to writing music and your love of music in general.

They wished you good luck and would always welcome you back if things didn't go so well. But you kept your head up high and marched into that studio ready to take on the world alongside the loud blonde.

And down the line, three years later, you were surprised to say the least.

"Your coffee as usual." Hizashi sets down the patriotic blue U.A. thermos sent out to the teachers at the beginning of the year. Since you'd practically moved in 'unofficially' with Mic, unofficially because you weren't technically allowed to stay due to the fact you didn't work for the school, rather employed by Mic himself in his private studio, but you were the tiny exception since you did technically work in the school.

"Thanks! Hey, I was wondering if you could check this new thing I've been working on and give me some criticism, it's just a rough draft, the lyrics just kind of came to me after a shot or two at Vlad's birthday party the other night." You giggled as you tossed him the flash drive containing your latest project, the sensitive information contained on the tiny disc landing in the palm of your boyfriend's hands.

"Another song? You're blessing my ears so early in the morning. I'm dreaming! Pinch me!" He teases. Mic's been the biggest supporter of your music since he overheard the pipes you had.

You'd had that kind of night the second week of your internship, battling the oncoming hangover after drinking with your cool new pro-hero teacher friends, your thoughts turning to lyrics as you worked in the studio, the only light being the small lamp on the side Mic kept when he worked late too.

He'd forgotten his room keys in the studio again, something you realized he did often and as he stopped by to pick them back up, that's when he heard you. You sounded so angelic, almost as if you were some sort of angel.

At first, he thought maybe it was just a recording or some sort of dare he say, Melodyne filter while you were messing around in the mic at night.

But you weren't. Your authentic voice shell-shocked him, and he sort of listened to you the entire night until you nearly pissed your pants turning around and seeing him.

“Yeah, it’s nothing special really-” You’re back to reality as Mic quickly has his headphones over his ears, a large grin on his lips as he listens, his fingers tapping away to the beat already.

You work on other tasks, filtering through requests and putting them in the queue while Mic listens to your song, his heart pounding. You were so talented and he’d wish you’d give yourself a bit more credit. You have what it takes to make it big, and he’d support you every step of the way.

“You know with this and the other tracks you have, you’d have enough to push out an EP. All you need is a bit of marketing and producing, and I’d be more than willing to help!” Mic smiles, wheeling over to you, pressing an encouraging peck to your cheek.

“It sounds great, but who would wanna listen to what I write?” You giggle, toggling an advertisement as you glance over at the blonde.

“How about this, You let me help you, I’ll spread the trial around here at work and if it gets good reviews, we publish.” Hizashi is nothing short of persuasive, and for the rest of the week he has you in his studio, adding layer after layer, fine-tuning and weeding out bits of the collection of songs you’d written until you have an EP.

Long nights fueled by coffee, water, and tea, and takeout eventually land you with the very first copy of your own EP. 

In your hands, it’s palpable. It’s real. It doesn’t have any cover art, or a title, let alone who sang it, but Mic hands you a sharpie and you feel this fire coursing through your veins.

You feel more than accomplished.

You scribble some title down that you’d work on later and messily sign your name for Mic to make copies and then throughout the next week, you’ve got dozens of messages flooding your inbox telling you to drop it on some streaming platforms.

And the following night Mic is consoling your tears as you hit your first 100 streams. 

“I’m so proud of you.” He coos, kissing your cheeks, wiping your tears away with his kisses, patting you on the head.

“You’re so cheesy.” You tease him.

“Says you! You named an entire song after me.” Mic huffs, crossing his arms over his chest.

“What if ‘my beloved’ was about Marty?” You giggle. Marty, the sparkly, beautiful, elegant, beta-fish you’d adopted as the studio mascot swam around in his tank, decked out with super cool aquatic music themed stuff.

“You wouldn’t dare!” Mic laughs, his long blonde hair sweeping over his shoulders. 

“Your hair always looks so nice down.” You snuggle into him, your fingers twisting around the ends. Hizashi shakes his head and stares down at you.

“And you’re as radiant as ever, my love.” Hizashi pulls you into him, snuggling his head into your neck, placing a gentle kiss to your skin as he holds you near to him.

“Do you sing, ‘Zashi?” You ask quietly.

“No comment.” Mic giggles, his laughs tickling your skin.

“Would you work on a song with me?” You ask sweetly.

“I would love to.”

Callers chime in every so often for requests, since Mic loves to annoy the listeners by playing your EP track by track almost daily. You have to knock some sense into him telling him that there’s a quota to fill and while you love how he supports you, you’ve got them stuck in your head too.

And when you play them every so often, your heart warms when someone requests one of yours to play. Even more so, when your songs rise to much more notable fame, you’re working on your own album, with the lovely producing of Mic, and it even features a lovely duet between the two of you.

In fact, something you’d found out with having so many connections to pros, was the amount of hidden talent.

You’d requested a song with Kyoka Jiro, the beautiful voice you’d heard at the school festival had belonged to her and you’d been wanting to work with her since she also shared a love for music, and though she was young, she seemed rather happy to sing, even if she might’ve been shy about it first.

An unlikely duo might’ve come from a dare, Hawks. While he was rather against the idea at first, his voice was smooth and mellow, and it clashed with yours perfectly for some sort of sappy anti-romantic love song. Whatever the case, it made charts. 

But Mic continued to be your biggest supporter, no matter how or if you got big. You’d always find your way back into his arms, messing around with him on the radio show, and dodging paparazzi whenever you two left campus.

»»————-　★　————-««

masterlist

[ratmonky]

The Wolf Within A Puppy

word count: 5.9k

warnings: gaslighting, noncon, violence, fingering, oral

AO3 link

A wolf was meant to be wild, untamed, and carefree. It was simply impossible to tame an animal born into the wild, it had already had a taste of freedom, and forcing it to be in a cage in shackles wouldn’t work but if the wolf was put in a cage, it would do anything until it was free. Even if it meant pretending to be a dog.

Humans were like animals.

They followed their instincts to live their life, that was what created them had intended. Humans were supposed to be following unwritten rules instead of the written ones, just like animals.

Animals lived without guilt, pain, or worry.

You wished you could live freely like animals.

~~~

Your teacher had told you specifically not to leave the campus, you lacked cursed energy and fighting spirit to be able to face any curse without the help of your younger classmen.

Yet, you desperately wanted to prove them wrong, you were more than your healing powers, you weren’t just a damsel in distress, you were the person who was going to save others. You were the main character.

Being able to sense cursed spells and energy from far away gave you the advantage of sniffing out low-level curses and exorcising them with the cursed tools you had stolen from the school.

Unless you did all of this, you wouldn’t be a sorcerer, being a sorcerer meant fighting curses and exorcising them, if you didn’t do any of that, it would be meaningless. Your existence was meaningless.

Today was supposed to be like any other day, you were following the low leveled curse energies to exorcise them and try to build your own cursed energy. Although Gojo had told you that you were a special case and didn’t have any, you refused to believe him and wanted to prove him wrong.

“It was coming from here,” you chirped, tightening your grip around the dagger’s handle. You stood in front of the sewer gate, some cursed energy was leaking out from inside, something that could be a grade four or even maybe just a fly head.

If you were lucky, it could be a third-level curse and you would have the chance to practice fighting with a higher grade curse than you’re used to.

Kneeling down, you crawled inside the sewers to find and exorcise the curse. Using your phone’s flashlight, you navigated your way through the larger gates and pipes. The foul smell was disturbing but you managed to ignore it with your willpower only.

You walked for minutes, trying to find the curse but failed. The energy had withdrawn itself, perhaps it actually was a fly head and it had run away for its life.

With a click of your tongue, you kicked a small pebble and it hit the water.

This was useless, you were useless. Why did you come here anyway? There was no way you could succeed at anything yet you kept trying as if that was going to do something.

Your eyes were glossy with tears, you were a failure. You hated this feeling, you hated the jujutsu school and your younger classmen. You knew they were looking down at you, even though you knew they cared about you, they were babying you. You were nothing, absolutely nothing compared to them.

Even thinking about becoming a fourth-grade sorcerer was an insult to your teacher. He had told you that you didn’t possess anything. You were just lucky to be born with the awareness of the curses and the ability to heal others.

You wouldn’t last a minute fighting with a cursed spirit.

No, no, no.

You had exorcised many spirits and curses with the help of the cursed tools. You were capable of certain things, you were being harsh on yourself, come on now…

Your hands went to your hair and you ruffled it with a groan. Maybe, if you told Gojo about the things you had done until now, he could give you a chance. You could train with others and maybe even possess an ounce of cursed energy.

Yes, Gojo would understand. You could return the cursed dagger and ask for Maki’s help to build your stamina, you could learn to use larger weapons. Maybe then you could become a worthy opponent to your lower classmen.

It was time to head back, you knew what to do.

“Ah, I wasn’t expecting any visitors!”

From the corner of your eye, you saw it. You were about to turn around and run out of the sewers but your body refused to move. Your mouth opened in pure terror but you couldn’t scream out of pure shock.

The cursed energy you had thought to be faint was overflowing your senses, your head hurt, your eyes felt like they were about to pop out of your head.

This couldn’t be happening.

Whatever it was, you knew it was something that was about to kill you.

You had to run. If you didn’t run, you were going to die.

This was a special grade cursed spirit. It could even talk.

Run.

Quick, legs, move!

Your legs refused to register what your brain was telling them, although all of your instincts were screaming for you to run, you stood exactly where you were, paralyzed from head to toe.

“Hmm, weird, I thought you sorcerers were a lot more… livid but you’re just like a statue.”

Footsteps came closer, you felt its hand on your shoulder and a whimper left your lips as it walked around you until it was facing you.

It happened in the blink of an eye. You tightened your grip on the dagger and lifted it, ready to stab the cursed spirit.

“Are you sure you wanna do that?” it chirped in a sing-song tone, then cocked its head to the side and smiled.

You dropped your dagger, fear coursed through your entire body before you felt your lips tremble.

“I don’t sense any cursed energy from you, how come you were confident enough to come after me?”

You bit your lip in frustration until you tasted the bitter copper. Nobody knew you were here, you had thought you would be able to handle this by yourself.

You didn’t have any cursed energy or special abilities, you were just a healer. You were nothing, you were nothing against this cursed spirit.

It must have noticed your despair because it had a nightmarish smile on its face, its skin snagging on its stitches as the skin crinkled around the corners of its mouth.

“I haven’t met you before,” it said, grabbing a chunk of your hair and pulling it back until your head lifted from the ground to meet its gaze. “Are you one of the new first years?”

“I’m a third-year,” you replied, your hand weakly grasped on its wrist. It was futile though, you were weak. You wouldn’t be able to fight. “Please let me go, I won’t tell anyone.”

It laughed as if you told it the funniest joke it had ever heard.

“My name’s Mahito, what about you, little lost puppy?” He ignored your cries.

You sniffled, your throat ached and clenched as if you had been screaming nonstop. Your body hurt from fear. “Please, I won’t tell anyone about your presence to anyone, please… just let me go. I- I don’t… I don’t wanna die-” By the time you finished your meaningless sentence, you were sobbing uncontrollably.

Mahito pulled your hair back and forced you to look at his mocking face. “I-I-I won’t k-k-kill you.” His eyes squinted, his cursed energy had lessened but you were still drowning in it. “I’ll maybe even let you go,” he said, pausing a moment longer to watch your face muscles relax and listen to you stuttering empty promises and gratitude. “I’ll let you go after I’ve made an example out of you.”

“No- Please!” An audible whimper left your lips, your tears were streaming down your cheeks. You couldn’t see straight, you could only make out the blurry outline of Mahito and his eerie smile. “I’ll do anything, please…”

He raised a brow at your promise.

His fingers loosened their grip on your hair and he instead carded his fingers through your hair slowly, like petting a scared animal.

His free hand landed on your shoulder before sliding down your spine and to the small of your back, he placed his hand steadily and pulled you towards him to close the gap between the two of you.

“Humans try so hard to leave an imprint of their lives. Are you one of them?” he asked curiously, “Is that why you became a sorcerer? Do you want to be remembered by others even after you die?”

You stayed quiet.

“When you die, nobody will remember you. From the moment you stepped inside here, I knew how insignificant your soul was. It’s not vibrant nor has any specialties. If I were to kill you, nobody would know, right? Your only legacy would be a framed picture of you... if you let others take your picture at some point that is.”

His words were like razor-sharp blades. It hurt you even more because he was right.

“It’s boring when you don’t fight or react, you know.” He twirled a strand of your hair between his fingers. Leaving your hair alone, he took your bag from you, unzipping and turning it upside down to empty it out. Once he was done, he threw your bag into the sewer water. “You’re supposed to fight with tooth and nails, or was it… fighting with all your might… is that what they say? Whatever, you understand what I'm trying to say, right?”

You nodded without paying any real attention to his words or what laid beneath them. You were only desperately trying to get this over with. If he was going to kill you, so be it.

This was your fault for coming here.

Mahito crouched to look closer at the items on the concrete, there were makeup, a hand mirror, books, pens, and a small good luck charm you had gotten when you had first started the jujutsu school.

A bittersweet memory invaded your mind, how excited you were about entering the school and how hard you had been trying to improve. But that excitement died quickly as you watched Gojo search for more students, hoping to gather around powerful sorcerers with a promising future.

You remembered the jealousy you felt of others. The way they all treated you like fragile porcelain, ready to break at any given time. The way they always looked at you with pity.

“(name) should never leave alone, it’s dangerous.”

“Making (name) participate in the sister school event is cruel, she can’t protect herself.”

If you were to die here, you would never be able to prove them wrong. If you exorcised this spirit right here, you would be free from the shackles of the expectations and opinions of others.

Mahito smirked at the way your eyes sparkled with determination. He put the sketchbook with your name on it down to instead watch you crouch and reach your hand to retrieve the dagger you had dropped with a smile.

It happened all too quickly, you were about to grab the dagger but found yourself tackled to the concrete. You let out a pained yelp as Mahito’s entire weight pressed on your back.

“What a magnificent fighting spirit!” he barked, pressing your cheek down onto the concrete and laughing hysterically.

You struggled to breathe but you kept squirming. Ready to fight this cursed spirit with everything you got.

His hand reached for your face and you jerked away from his hand, “Don’t touch me!” you screamed, your eyes finally meeting his, they were sparkling with vicious intent.

You shrieked upon seeing his stitched-up face up close, he was hideous. Him being this close to you made you panic even more. “Stay away from me!” Your body automatically tried twisting around from where you were trapped under his weight.

You started to scream as you struggled in his hold. It was barely evening, someone would hear your screams for help.

Mahito grabbed a chunk of your hair and pulled your head back before abruptly smashing your face into the concrete with tremendous strength.

The moment your face hit the cold concrete your nerves struck your entire body. The pain quickly hit you and your head bounced off from the ground like a ball, only to crash to the ground with a loud thud once again. You hit your head hard, the second impact left you dumbfounded, you could taste copper in your mouth. Your hand went to your mouth, only to discover the wetness… You looked at your hand in horror, you were bleeding.

The fear came rushing back.

Mahito looked down at you with a sinister smile, he was entertained by your pain. A low chuckle coming from him made you scream for help again.

It was no use though. On your way here, you hadn’t seen a single soul out in the streets. You were left to his mercy, you could only hope he didn’t kill you.

You were completely vulnerable and defenseless. All you could do was scream for help or beg for this merciless cursed spirit to stop. You had no idea what he wanted but if he actually wanted to hurt you, there was nothing you could do to stop him, especially not when you were bleeding and were in unbearable pain.

“You have no idea,” He suddenly said, startling you out of your frantic thoughts. “How much I'm going to enjoy this.”

He shrugged out of his shirt, the clothing fell next to your head and you found yourself sobbing in horror, “Please, please don’t hurt me,” your voice echoed in the sewers.

Nobody was going to save you.

You kept holding onto that small hint of hope that someone would come running into the sewers any second now, you were desperately trying to deny the realness of the situation.

“Calm down, puppy,” he spoke softly, you suddenly realized that he was crouched next to you now. You tried to see him through your tears, -God when did you start crying again?

You tried to move, crawl away from him. “Please,” you said, “I don’t wanna die.”

He laughed lowly and grabbed you by your ankle, pulling you towards him, “They all get talkative before their fate.” Mahito grabbed a chunk of your hair again and turned you to face him. “Ah, how pretty.” He pouted his lips, “You look gorgeous with all the blood coming out from you.”

He paused, noticing how your wounds were closing.

“You can heal yourself?” He laughed to himself, amazed by your ability. “You get more interesting each passing second!”

You still tried to hold onto that brim of hope that someone would come to save you.

You inhaled as much air as you could to start screaming again but the cold metal against your cheek forced you to keep quiet.

“Now, keep still,” he pressed the dagger down to your cheek, “I’m gonna make this quick.”

Terrified, you watched him move between your legs.

With a sudden rush of adrenaline being released into your body, you blindly kicked at him but fail miserably as he violently pounded your head to the concrete twice with a laugh at your attempt of kicking him.

The first blow stabbed a sharp pain into the side of your face, your vision went blank for a brief moment and you bit your tongue in the process.

The second hit on the concrete made you whimper helplessly.

Your hands fell to your sides in defeat.

When Mahito let his grip on your head loosen, you couldn’t move anymore, you laid on the concrete entirely motionless, blood emerged from the large cut on your temple and your nose. “Wait,” he smiled and lifted the skirt of your uniform, peeking under the fabric with a giggle. “Is that all the fight you had in you?”

He had noticed how you were still saving energy instead of healing yourself. He knew what your useless plan was.

Your eyes watered and you felt even more warm liquid gushing out from your nose and mouth. Your skin warmed and throbbed as you writhed in pain, gritting your teeth while the taste of copper spread in your mouth.

Your cheek laid flat on the cold concrete, your skin must have been burning hot because it relieved some of your pain you had on your face.

He placed the dagger next to your head, it was so close yet so far away.

“Don’t you think it’s funny how some humans follow the rules blindly until they take their last breath?” Mahito placed his hands on your thighs, spreading your legs and pulling you towards his hips. “I think it’s interesting, I wonder if their last thoughts before dying are about how they should’ve done something exciting in their miserable lives?”

You squirmed in an attempt to push yourself up or away from him but he effectively had pinned you down, using a single hand on the small of your back.

“Do you have any regrets? Were you a goody two shoes in your life? You came here to exorcise me, right? You wanted to be praised, didn’t you?” He pressed his chest on your back, nosing some of your hair out of the way to whisper into your ear. He kept sluggishly pressing his stomach against your back until you felt his lips brush against your earlobe. His warm breath tickled the side of your face. “Aren’t you the type of person who would be too stuck up to hang out with their friends and study instead?”

You mumbled.

“Hmm?”

Silence.

Mahito pouted his lips. You were getting boring. “What can I say to get to you, huh?”

He started thinking, the makeup stuff you had earlier meant you had to be the organized type, he had seen a keychain and a sketchbook with your name on it but it was nothing useful. But… your books about improvement could mean that you felt you weren’t enough at some academic level and then there was this good luck charm that had gotten you in a feisty mood…

Hmm.

An imaginary lightbulb popped over his head.

“Ahh, I see.” He took a staggering whiff of your hair. “Your life is already miserable enough.”

Your breath hitched, giving Mahito the reaction he had been looking for.

“I think,” he breathed, his lips were brushing against the shell of your ear. “It's finally time you and I had some fun, hmm?”

Your pulse went absolutely berserk with the threat of his words, the dark promise that loomed within his words.

“W-wait-”

Mahito flipped you over like a sack of potatoes. Once again, you were facing him. You stared at his patchwork of a face, loudly gulping at the disgusting sight. Before you could even comprehend what he was doing, you felt his cold hands go under your skirt.

With wide eyes, you struggled with renewed vigor as you tried to close your legs shut. But he was so much stronger than you. He only chuckled as you made a useless effort to stop him.

You were left to his mercy, once you realized that, you looked away from him.

“Ahh,” he smirked as he lifted the skirt of your uniform, “Such a naughty girl, you’re wearing these to school?” You felt his fingers gently feeling the fabric of your panties.

You squirmed uncomfortably on the cold concrete, knowing that he was staring down at your clothed cunt. You refused to give in to him, refusing to grant him the satisfaction of getting a reaction out of you.

He snickered and the sound of the clinking of his belt buckle startled you enough to yelp. You quickly closed your eyes.

“Eyes on me, (name),” he uttered as one of his hands kneaded the soft flesh of your thigh.

Your eyes widened at your name. How did he-

“You should enjoy doing bad things, (name),” he said. “Listen to your soul, be free as the shape of your soul.”

Mahito’s hand squeezed your cheeks together until your lips puckered and he leaned to press his lips against yours. At the same time, you felt a fabric being pulled down, it took a staggeringly long moment before you realized it was your panties.

“If you keep living your life to please others, you won’t be able to please yourself.”

A loud sore tore out of you and disappeared into Mahito’s mouth as he let his tongue loll out before licking your lips. His saliva left a wet feeling and the breeze from the sewers chilled your skin.

“How cute.”

Mahito lifted your legs and you laid there completely motionless as he palmed his cock through his boxers. You looked away from him, refusing to watch him violate your body.

Although you weren’t watching him, you could feel his fingers moving along your folds. He lifted his hand and held it between your faces, smiling widely. “You’re sopping wet, (name).”

He forced his digits into your mouth, swirling them until you cleaned his fingers with your tongue. He watched you with an amusing smile.

Finally satisfied, he took his fingers out from your mouth and slipped them inside your slick heat.

You jolted and a noise closer to a moan came out from your mouth.

Mahito’s thumb rested on your clit, rubbing sluggish circles over the muscle as his digits went in and out of you.

“Don’t close your legs,” he said, curling his fingers inside your pussy and started making a scissoring motion.

You squirmed, one of your hands found his shoulder and you held onto him to ignore your legs shaking in pleasure.

“Ahh, I can feel it throbbing,” Mahito chuckled, “You’re sucking my fingers in, (name), how naughty.”

“I’m not,” you whined, lifting your hips subconsciously to feel more of his fingers. His fingers reached much deeper inside your pussy than your own fingers ever could.

“Really?” he hummed, he leaned over to your face until his lips brushed against yours. “But you’re moving your hips so cutely.”

When you opened your mouth to deny he took the momentary opportunity to shove his tongue down your throat. His lips moved roughly against your unresponsive ones. He frowned into the kiss and pulled himself away from your face.

His fingers scooped your juices and left the warmth of your pussy. Mahito lifted his fingers up to his lips and he opened his mouth. You watched as he placed his fingers on his tongue before closing his mouth agonizingly slowly with a smile. His lips curled upwards, you heard him moan while licking his own fingers clean.

Funny enough, his voice made more juices leak out from your pussy.

“What a sweet taste,” he said, gazing down at you and licking his lips. “Makes me wonder if it’d taste more vibrant from the source.” Mahito moved between your legs.

Your cheeks flushed red, “Wait, it’s-”

He used his thumbs to spread your folds and chuckled at the sight of wet strands connecting your folds together breaking out slowly. “You’re going to be a good little puppy, right?”

You let out a hot breath, nodding rapidly.

He lapped at your pussy menacingly slowly, savoring your taste greedily.

Your legs shook around his head, your hands immediately went to his hair, gripping tightly while Mahito’s tongue moved between your folds. Lifting your hips up, you pulled his hair when he laid his tongue flat against your clit.

His hands that were spreading your folds slid to your inner thighs and he pinned them down. He pressed his lips on your clit, sluggishly lapping at the muscle and sucking it in his mouth gently.

Your fingers in his hair pushed him towards your cunt, begging for more. You turned your face away as you bit back a moan. Then your eyes landed on the dagger, something was clinging to the back of your mind, you heard your own voice screaming at you to get yourself together but they all disappeared when Mahito inserted his digits inside of you.

His fingers thrust inside, his lips sucked on your clit while his tongue lapped at the muscle one last time before he pulled himself back, leaving you needy.

“Just as I thought, it tastes much better straight from the source.”

He licked his fingers without breaking eye contact.

“You’ve become so much more obedient, (name).” Mahito crawled on top of you, your hands in his hair slid down to his neck, and rested there. “You’re a good little obedient puppy, aren’t you?”

A dreamingly sick smile spread across your face, nodding approvingly.

He matched your smile, amazed by your reaction.

Mahito leaned in for a kiss and this time you kissed him back, you tasted yourself in his mouth. Using your hands, you pulled him closer. His shoulders lowered and rose slightly as he tugged down his pants along with his underwear. He kicked his pants off from his ankles and only a couple of seconds later you felt him drag the tip of his cock between your folds.

He pulled back from the kiss and the second your eyes met his, he shoved the entire length of his cock inside of you. You tensed and yelped as he watched you with dark amusement while his cock stretched your tight virgin walls.

You opened your mouth in a silent scream, his girth was too much, he was filling you up with no gaps. The gummy flesh of your walls pulsated around him, warm blood trickled from the length of his cock and pooled under your bodies, on the concrete.

“You probably didn’t know but our souls are one, only for this moment, (name)!” He cackled, his voice filled with mischief. “Isn’t it great?”

“Yes,” you hissed as he moved. His hips slammed into yours with a disgustingly wet sound.

“Can you feel it?” he asked, pulling back and thrusting in your pussy, growling lowly. “Can you feel how free your soul is?”

You could feel it.

You felt all of your guilts and worries wash away each time he thrust inside.

“This is how animals feel,” he groaned audibly, your walls were squeezing the girth of his cock from tip to the base. You were such a perfect match, you were made for him, your cunt fit him like a glove. This was the only purpose of your existence. “Animals are always free, (name).”

You kept nodding even though his words seemed to go over your head, you were only focused at the firm length moving inside you.

“Do you know why?” he hit a significant spot that made your walls clench around his cock. “It’s because animals don’t know sin, (name).”

He was right.

“I’m taking your innocence, doesn’t that make you happy?”

“Yes!”

He laughed, placing his hands to the back of your knees and pushing them towards your chest. He mercilessly humped your pussy which made you scream in pleasure. His cock was reaching so far deep in this position, it was hitting all the good spots now. You couldn’t help but curl your toes and move your hips to feel more of his cock.

“I won’t allow you to show this face to others.” His grip behind your knees softened, he held you more gently before leaning onto you to whisper his next words, “I’m the only one who can make you feel this free. Don’t forget that.”

You nodded, placing a hand on your stomach and you felt his cock grow bigger inside of you. Your hand pressed against the bulge that had formed from what was moving inside you.

The bulging on your stomach made your eyes roll to the back of your head.

He laughed lowly, you were quite amusing. He snapped his hips forward, you moaned louder this time. Your voice echoed along with his laughter in the sewers.

“Mahito,” you begged, the waves of pleasure from his cock hitting your sweet spot made your voice tremble, “E-enough, please-”

He watched you with his half-lidded eyes intently, ignoring your words as your legs started to shake with each brutal thrust, you were close. He started pulling out from you until only the tip was in your entrance and slamming inside you with his entire length. His pace was like an animal in heat, his balls slapped against your ass each time he thrust inside.

Mahito quickened his pace, his large cock stretched out your virgin walls until they took the shape of his cock. He pushed your legs to your chest and buried his cock even deeper inside of you.

“You’re mine.”

You nodded frantically, his thrusts were punishing. Eventually, your pussy started spasming around his twitching cock. Unable to resist your virgin walls clamping on him any longer, Mahito spilled his thick and hot seed inside your womb.

He growled loudly and continued fucking his cum deep inside of your pussy until the squelching sounds of his cum mixed with yours gushing out from your abused hole started echoing in the sewers.

It was like music to his ears, he was humming to himself, rocking back and forward.

Your body relaxed and fell back on the concrete after he pulled his dick out from you. His cum spilled out from your slick heat and down to the cold concrete to mix with your blood from earlier.

You heard Mahito getting dressed but you were unable to move, your body was exhausted. Your wounds had healed themselves, but the thin layer of dried blood was making your skin itchy.

The last thing you were aware of was the soft tune of your cell phone and it grew more distant as you drifted into slumber, feeling free.

~~~

The next time you opened your eyes, you were staring at the morning sky. The soft sound of trees shaking and birds chirping filled your ears.

You sat up abruptly and looked around in confusion. You were under a bridge, your bag was under your head, your cell phone by your side and you were clutching onto your dagger.

Hastily, you took out your hand mirror from your bag and checked your face. You didn’t look anything out of the ordinary other than your clumped lashes. Your hair was matted from laying on the concrete.

Suddenly, your hand went under your skirt but you couldn’t feel any difference.

What had happened?

Had that happened?

You stood up, clutching your bag and putting the dagger inside. The walk back to the city wasn’t too long as you checked the missed calls on your phone and the worrying amount of messages you had gotten from your lower classmen along with your teachers.

You weren’t sure what had happened. You remembered everything so faintly, each memory was a blur.

Unable to let them suffer like this, you replied to each text by saying that you were back at your own apartment because of a family issue.

The lower classmen believed you but Gojo had texted you to come back to the campus as soon as possible, saying that he would lend an ear and whenever you needed a shoulder to cry on, you had to trust him, he clearly was worried. Yet your mind was a whirlwind of different thoughts, you ignored him.

Back at your apartment, you kicked off your shoes and threw your bag onto the couch before crashing on the couch yourself.

There was something deeply wrong, the stench that lingered on your uniform was unbearable.

So, you stripped yourself from the uniform and filled the bathtub. While your clothes were washing in the machine, you soaked in the bath, letting your muscles relax.

The apartment was empty and quiet, which disturbed you deeply solely because you were forced to be alone with your thoughts until you found the courage to go back to the campus.

You got scolded for leaving without notice and they found out you had stolen a cursed tool. Although you tried to explain how you were using it to improve yourself, you still got detention.

In the end, Gojo didn’t react the way you thought. He didn’t let you practice with others or tried to find a way to build up your cursed energy.

Days passed, you found yourself back in the shadow of everyone else.

Today, you found yourself under the same bridge you woke up a week ago. The night sky was beautiful, the stars sparkled brightly. None of it helped ease your nerves, your stomach churned and the feeling of uneasiness surrounded you.

You hadn’t brought anything with you. Your phone, bag, and good luck charm were back at the campus, in your room.

Not sure what to do, you simply stood there, staring.

The large gate was inviting, the darkness promised to swallow you whole and the stench… was welcoming.

Hesitantly, you took a step forward and then another until you disappeared into the dark sewers.

You walked for hours. Each right you took led to dead ends and each left you took led you back outside. It was like you were going in circles.

Perhaps, you thought, you had imagined that whole thing.

You pressed a hand between your thighs at the memory, your legs were trembling. The trembling turned into violent shaking and your legs gave up from under you.

Planting your hand on the cold concrete, you tried pushing yourself to get back up on your feet but it was futile.

Your eyes were glossy with tears, you couldn’t comprehend why you were crying.

“Ahh,” a familiar voice cooed. “The obedient little puppy came back to its owner.”

Almost immediately you lifted your head. Tears streamed down your face as you stood up and stared at Mahito welcoming you with open arms.

Your lips parted, conflicted if they should curl up to a smile or down to a frown. The feeling that surrounded you wasn’t something you could explain with words.

You rushed to him and crashed into Mahito’s arms and lips. You were fiercely moving your lips against his, your desperation made him laugh into the kiss.

When he finally decided to kiss you back, you were trembling from head to toe, holding onto Mahito. The kiss was wet and tasted salty from your tears but none of you paid any mind.

“(name).” Mahito broke the kiss to wipe away your tears with his thumbs. “Why did you come back?”

He looked amused, not confused enough to ask you that question but that same question was something you had to ask yourself.

“Mahito,” you sobbed, clutching on his shirt, your lower lip wouldn’t stop trembling as you were unable to answer his question.

Were you only obsessed with the idea to live freely without sins or did you want something more than that?

“Nevermind.” Mahito pressed a gentle kiss against your forehead, leaving his lips there for a moment. After you stopped crying, he led you deeper inside the sewers until the darkness consumed the two of you. Your heart was shuddering in your chest, you couldn’t believe how much power he held over you.

It was just Mahito had said, animals lived without guilt, pain, or worry because animals didn’t know sin.

But that statement didn’t matter, you weren’t an animal.

You were a human and your sins would follow you to your death.

And he was a cursed spirit, he didn’t know any sin.

Oh… it was him who was the animal.

A wolf couldn’t be tamed, you remembered. You weren’t the wolf. You were a domestic wolf tasting the sweet freedom for the first time. No… you were only a puppy.

A small puppy following after the big bad wolf.

[star--anon]

Work

I suck at signing asks smh Anyway, @ticklish-wilbur, *slaps tag on fic*

*ੈ ☪ ೃ༄*ੈ ✩ ೃ༄*ੈ ✧ ೃ༄*ੈ ☪ ೃ༄*ੈ ✩ ೃ༄*ੈ ☪ ೃ༄*ੈ ✧ ೃ༄*ੈ

The dying sun slowly sank into the horizon. Its blood seeped into the sky, tainting the darkening blue into a deep scarlet. The red poured onto the clouds, making it look like tiny puffs of cotton balls were drenched in blood and were now floating in the sky. From the other side, the moon poked its head up from the ground, almost like it was cautious. A few stars were accompanying the moon, sticking to it like ants to a leaf in the middle of a pool.

A few birds landed on the trees outside Wilbur's window, brightly chirping into the growing dark. Red sunlight spilled onto the birds' azure feathers, painting them a rich violet. A thin breeze shyly whispered its way into Wilbur's room, circling around the dreamcatcher hanging on his wall (a gift from Niki) and rattling the beads and feathers. The cold wind slid on his skin, causing goosebumps to erupt. The trees outside swayed to the current, waving their branches as they sang along, creaking and groaning out songs as the wind picked up speed. The leaves rustled against one another. Combined with the birds' chirping, the branches' singing, and the wind's whispering, it sounded like the forest outside was alive.

Despite the beautiful concert playing outside, the whole of Wilbur's concentration was focused on something else entirely: the scrolls in front of him.

His charcoal pencil ran across his papers in a furious frenzy. Letters and words were hastily scratched onto the dry parchment as Wilbur rushed to respond to every letter and finish every important paper he had been given. The only time his pencil ever paused was for him to grab a piece of flint and shred off a few pieces of wood whenever the charcoal started to dull.

He was so invested that he didn't even hear his bedroom door creak open, or notice someone walking in. It wasn't until a worried hand gently gripped his shoulder was he aware of his company.

"Wilbur," murmured Phil, "I think a good idea would be to put the pencil down and go to sleep."

"In a minute," Wilbur mumbled back, shrugging the hand off.

"Wilbur, you've been working nonstop for the entire day..."

"I'm busy."

"You should take a break."

"Not right now."

"Wilbur, got to sleep. Now. Put the pencil down and take a break."

The boy frowned at the sudden edge to Phil's voice, but he didn't stop his work. Other than shifting uncomfortably in his seat, he didn't react, clearly deciding that the papers in front of him were more important.

"Wilbur," Phil repeated, adding more weight into his tone. "Wilbur, put the pencil down."

"Just give me a moment. Please? Just a moment?"

"No. No, because if I give you a moment, you're going to ask for another. If I give you another, you're going to ask for a minute. If I give you a minute, you're going to ask for an hour." Phil reached out and slowly slid Wilbur's papers out from underneath his hand. Wil sighed in defeat and let it happen, although he stayed hunched over his desk and his grip on his pencil only tightened. "I meant it, Wilbur. Put the charcoal down."

"Give me a reason why I, and independent twenty-four-year-old, should listen to you?"

"Because I'm your dad and I'm telling you to."

"So what?" And perhaps it was because Wilbur was currently fueled by nothing but forty minutes of sleep and eighteen bottles of speed potions (sugar and netherwart mixed together creates a caffeine-like effect), but he was starting to feel oddly woozy. Random confidence burst into his sleep-deprived mind. He stuck his tongue out at the avian. "You gonna tell me to go sit in the corner, Dadza?"

Phil chuckled. "Nope. Even when you were young, sitting in the corner wasn't a punishment for you. But there was one surefire way to get you to listen.

"Yeah? I don't remember that." Wilbur scrunched up his face, pretending to think. His body stiffening and hands moving to cover up his stomach betrayed his knowledge of what Phil was talking about. "Was it maybe counting the three-EEE! Phihihihil!"

"Starting to remember now?" teased Phil.

"Fuhuhuhuck youhuhu!"

"Here, maybe this'll help you remember." Phil delved his hands into Wilbur's armpits and swirled his fingers around, tormenting the sensitive nerves. "Anything?"

"Y-Youhuhu're gohohoing t-toho mahahahake mehehe drohop ihihihit!" squealed Wilbur. Good charcoal pencils didn't come by often; wood and charcoal often being quite the luxury items. Wil wasn't in the mood to drop his favorite pencil and risk breaking the delicate charcoal stick inside the wood casing.

"Yes, charcoal pencils are very expensive," Phil conversationally said, almost like he had read Wil's mind. "Don't drop it because I'm not interested in spending another stack of emeralds on your pencils. You'll have to make-do with a quill and squid ink."

"I-Ihihi'm tryhyhyhying!" Wilbur just about shrieked when Phil moved to poke, prod, vibrate, and tease his ribs in any way. "Ack! W-Wahahahait! Phihihihil, cohohohome ohon, thihihihis ihihis chihihildihish!"

The avian didn't say anything back, only speeding up his fingers, which earned another shrill squeal. Wilbur thought he was playing the quiet game to further torment him until he heard Phil softly whispering, "...four... five... six... seven..."

"Ahahahare youhuhu fuhucking couhuhuhunting?!"

Phil flashed him a toothy grin. "Gotta make sure you have the right amount of ribs, right?"

"Whyhyhyhy thehe fuck-"

"Language," Phil warned. Then he paused. "Dammit, you made me lose count."

"Wh-Whahat?" giggled Wilbur.

"You made me lose count," he repeated. Phil shrugged. "Eh. We'll just start again. One... two... three... four..."

"Oho, youhuhu ahahahsshole!" Wilbur cackled. He tried to say more, but Phil dug his fingers in between his ribs and squeezed with his other hand, and his laughter went silent.

Smirking, Phil leaned closer to Wilbur, who was feebly trying to thrash his way off his chair. "I'm slooooowly making my way down your ribs... You know where I'm going next, don't you~?"

A sharp gasp came from Wilbur as his laughter slowly turned audible once more and he managed to get some air into his lungs. Still laughing helplessly, he reached out and slammed his pencil on his desk, no longer caring about the delicate charcoal breaking.

Despite this, Phil still pushed his shirt up and began to mercilessly tickle the scar on his stomach. What little break Wilbur had managed to get was immediately erased.

"PHIHIHIHIL!" the poor boy shrieked. "ST-STAHAHAHAP! I-IHIHIHI PUHUHUT IHIT D-DOHOHOHOWN!"

"I noticed," Phil simply replied. Whether or not Wilbur heard him, he wasn't sure.

The sun had left the sky, now completely hidden by the horizon. The moon inched its way up, clawing at the darkness for purchase. Thousands of stars were dragged along with it, each speck of silver light chasing the moon, as if captivated by its beauty. Without the sun around to illuminate them, the clouds faded into the dark. With the clouds no longer visible, the skies looked as though someone had spilled glistening white glitter over a pool of ink.

The birds outside Wilbur's window had left their earlier perches and flew home to sleep. The raging wind blew through the trees, ripping at the leaves and snarling loudly. The trees responded equally as loud, screeching at the gale. This was the thunderous part of the forest's song, where the gentle hums of the birds were gone, leaving only screaming and wailing from the wind and leaves.

Despite the beautiful concert playing outside (and the absolutely stunning moon who I've been trying to get the attention of for years), the whole of Wilbur's concentration was focused on something else entirely: getting away from Phil, who was blowing raspberry after raspberry on his scar.

(not revised so I'm sorry if this is terrible HHHHHHHH-) -🌟

[princess-of-purple-prose]

HI @herding-octokittens I’VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS POST LITERALLY NONSTOP FOR MONTHS, but I could never get up that initial fury that inspired these tags asdkjaksdfh. HOWEVER, I finally pulled myself together and wrote that essay!!! Here’s the aforementioned comment:

[ID: A Youtube screenshot with the commenter’s username blurred out that reads: “���And as his fear bled through his pistol’s mouth” is such a strong line. Gawain is not “evil,” he’s scared. Fear makes people do bad things”. Typos have been corrected for the transcription. / End ID] (Additional note: This screenshot was taken a while ago from the official Mechanisms’ video for “Peacemaker” and has since been deleted, thanks to Youtube’s shenaniganery. If you are the author of this comment, please don’t hate me fjdkdk I promise I don’t hate you.)

Essay under the cut due to length!

This comment made me feel the epitome of “They had us in the first half, not gonna lie.” Listen, I am not here to debate “good” or “evil” as useful labels. That is not going to factor into this. But boy, TALK about misreading a really brilliantly written character.

As the original post says, Gawain’s hatred of the Saxons is absolutely in part due to his guilt over failing those he was tasked to help in “Strength” and “Empty Trail,” and it’s almost flat-out stated in the spoken track “Death”: “Whether from the heat or from vengeful knives, the half-eaten state of them spoke to a culprit: a ghoul raiding party. And on that day Gawain conceived a monstrous hate.” All of this means that while we aren’t exactly ROOTING for him in “The Hanged Man Rusts,” it makes his hatred of the Saxons almost logical?? We get it. He’s been traumatized and gone through loss, and they’re close enough to monsters that it feels fair he calls them ones. It’s understandable that he rejects poor, doing-his-fricking-best Brian.

And then “Peacemaker.” Ohhh, “Peacemaker.” There’s oodles to talk about right at the beginning where he taunts Mordred, but frankly I’m not as interested in that, so we’re moving on. Let’s look at the lines right before what was quoted in the comment that provoked my ire and also this entire essay!

Now at last free of fear

My vision blurs with crimson, but I finally see

Hold brutality near

And release the coiled violence that’s inside of me

All of this is… abjectly damning. Gawain is freed of his fear of the Saxons because he finally has a chance at an outlet for it. And what is his choice of outlet? Coloring pages? Journaling? Working out? No!! He chooses “brutality” and “violence”!!! We find that he’s suppressed his violent urges before, and that releasing them here makes him feel that he’s reached some new level of understanding. And he has, as we see at the end of the song, where his lines are entwined with Mordred’s in gorgeous harmony that makes me want to scream for multiple reasons. (I’m strictly focusing on Gawain here, so I’m only going to sample his lines.)

The air is filled with screams

Before I treated battle like it was a toy

But not in my darkest dreams

Could I have ever felt this savage joy

Gawain says it himself. He RELISHED in violence, and he had “dark dreams” of indulging in his taste for blood and vengeance. He feels a “savage joy” in literally carrying out a massacre. There’s nothing justified about this. What he learns from all this is that he’s been waiting for an excuse to be violent. And by god did he find one.

So now let’s finally look at the line of narration that started this all.

And so Gawain fought, and through it all heard the shrill keening of vicious laughter. And as his fear bled through his pistol’s mouth, he knew the laugh was his own.

That Youtube commenter was right. Fear DOES make people do terrible things. It certainly prompted Gawain to be on a hair trigger during the peace talks and thus trigger the “death and bloodshed” that were arguably the nail in the coffin of this particular Mechs tragedy. They were right in that “his fear bled through his pistol’s mouth” is stunning, evocative, gorgeous imagery- but they completely failed to interpret the line. Fear, especially when funneled through the outlet of violence, becomes indefensible the second it hurts someone. And in this case, it hurt a lot of someones. Gawain stopped being just a scared victim when we find out he was waiting for a chance to take out his repressed rage against the Saxons. Gawain’s fear is here directly equated with bullets. And I think we can see how that worked out.

And that, my friends, is why Gawain is an incredible, incredible character that you should in no way think is anywhere close to morally justified, and also why you should never ask me to write an essay ever!

[fanmoose12]

Idk if you still accept requests but can you please bless us with more Levihan Witcher AU?Hanji as a bard/alchemist is so on brand for her.

anon, thank you so much for this ask! you woulnd’t believe it, but this fic was sitting in my drafts for almost six months, and your ask finally motivated me to finish it! this is super self-indulgent and also my nerdiness for witcher series is definetely showing but eh.... hope you still enjoy it <3

The town of Rinde, near the edge of Redania, was as shitty as they came.

The roads were washed away with dirt, the huts (calling them houses would be an exaggeration) stood dirty and even and kids were running around, dressed in torn clothes and without any shoes on.

Needless to say, all of it disgusted Levi.

And, really, he would have skipped that town altogether, it didn’t look like there was anyone there, who was rich enough to pay for hiring him, and, since he wasn’t on a hunt for a long time, he really needed to find someone, who would toss that coin to the witcher. He would have skipped that town, he almost did, but then he heard it. His witcher senses had picked it up immediately, the faint sound, the voice that was unmistakable for him, even though Levi hadn’t heard it for almost a year.

He headed in the direction of that voice instantly, the Roach following after him with an unusual willingness. Maybe, the horse has sensed her as well. The Roach always liked the annoying bard, after all.

After reaching the small tavern near the outskirts of the town and tying Roach to the outpost, Levi stopped in front of the door, giving himself the time to change his decision.

The tavern wasn’t up to his standards. At all. Even without seeing what was inside, it was enough for Levi to see the moldy walls to understand that he was standing at the threshold to a shithole.

He should have turned around and escaped this town. The nightfall was approaching and, as far as he knew, there wasn’t a town or even a village nearby. He’d have to sleep under the stars again. It was more preferable to stepping inside the unkempt tavern.

Besides, even without his supernatural senses, he could hear that the place was full of drunkards. Some shouted out vulgar jokes and laughed boisterously, some sang loudly and quite terribly.

And amidst all of it, there it was. Her voice that was laughing and singing with the rest of the patrons. For anyone else it would have been hard to decipher just one voice out of the dozens of others, but for Levi, this voice was special.

There were no doubts in his mind anymore. He pushed the door open.

All conservation ceased as soon as Levi walked inside. Well, that was to be expected. What was unexpected was the absence of a loud cheerful shriek greeting him. Although... considering the way he parted with Hange a year ago, maybe, he should have expected it as well.

Nevertheless, she paid him no attention, didn't even look at him. Levi's mood worsened. Glaring at all the patrons, he made his way to the bar.

"Tea," he ordered gruffly.

"Tea?" the maiden, who was standing behind the bar, raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Are you sure? We have ale, beer, vodka..."

"I don't want that piss that you call ale and beer here, and I definitely do not want to taste whatever the fuck substitutes vodka in this shithole. Just simple tea. You have it, I hope?"

"I'll look around...." the maiden nodded uncertainly. "Anything else?"

"If you have some soup that'd be great."

"Alright, I'll bring your order in a minute. Are you going to stay the night?"

Levi's eyes immediately darted to Hange. She wasn't looking at him. He sighed.

"We'll see about that."

Levi spent the whole evening boring holes into the back of Hange's head. She didn't turn around even once, too busy having fun with her new friends. As he watched the merry group in front of him, Levi couldn't help but scoff. Most of them, both men and women, were already smitten with Hange. He could see it in the way they subtly touched her hand or squeezed her shoulder, in the way they smiled dreamily and blushed every time she looked at them. Hange always had an uncanny ability to charm people. If it was her silvery voice or just the natural charisma, Levi wasn’t sure. He hated it nevertheless.

Not because Hange managed to put him under her spell as well (she did not) but because he hated when Hange paid attention to someone, except him. Apparently, even witchers could be childish sometimes.

However, considering what he had told Hange at that mountain, when anger and frustration took over him, maybe, he didn't deserve her attention anymore.

Still, Levi felt bitter, watching Hange’s smiles and teasing directed on someone, who wasn’t him. He missed her, goddamn it. It took him so long to realize it, but he enjoyed Hange’s company so much. The hunts just weren’t the same, if she wasn’t by his side, splurging some weird facts she read from bestiaries at Oxcenfurt. The roads seemed longer without Hange, who filled the silence with one of her new songs or her musings about the life. And even though, Levi always acted annoyed whenever Hange claimed that the nights were too chilly, so they have to sleep together to savor the warmth, now, since she wasn’t sleeping by his side anymore, even a brightly lit fire couldn’t make the cold disappear.

Shit, he was in such a deep shit.

As the evening progressed into the night, the patrons slowly started to tinker out of the tavern. Levi watched each of them carefully, trying to guess which of these lucky bastards would leave together with Hange.

However, soon almost everyone had left. The only other person, who was still at the tavern, was Hange.

As soon as the last customer went on his way, she sat atop the table and took out her lute.

She plucked the strings of the instrument, tuning it in. Throughout the evening, Hange sang numerous songs, all of them were accompanied by laughter and applause. But not by her lute.

A special lute that was given to her by an elf after her last one was destroyed and after Levi had threatened the said elf to break her nose if she dared to put that miserable expression on a pretty face of his bard ever again.

It was a shame that Hange still refused to look at him. He always enjoyed looking at her while she played. Her expression always matched the song she was performing - if the song was fast and catchy, she would be grinning from ear to ear, lightening up the whole room, and if she was singing the sad one, the one about heartbreak and tragic love, her face was mournful, her eyes distant.

Hange started to play, and Levi recognized the song instantly.

A storm raging on the horizon of longing, and heartache, and lust

Damn, of course, she decided to sing that song. Evidently, Hange was out to torture him as much as possible.

“I dedicate it to you, Levi!” she announced after she had first presented it to him.

They were in the middle of a road, resting in front of a fire after an exhausting hunt for a Nightwraith. Well, Levi was resting after an exhausting hunt, Hange was sitting beside him, blabbering almost nonstop. She sang a song to him too, after shyly confessing that this was her latest creation.

“How the fuck can this song be about me?” Levi grunted then. “It’s about woman, dipshit.”

“Ah, but a song about a man won’t be popular amongst my fellow bards! So I had to change a few things there and then.”

“So my kiss is that sweet?” he asked, fighting back a smile.

Hange snickered, leaning in to whisper in his ear, “And it destroys me each time.”

That memory – amongst hundreds, millions of others – kept replaying in his mind, as he listened to her beautiful voice. Hange was called a genius, one of the most talented bards in all Northern Kingdoms.

Levi always considered it to be bullshit. He was sure that even in Nilfgaardian Empire there wasn’t an artist half as blessed with a gift of music as Hange was.

As she finished the song, Hange got to her feet. She slanged her lute over her shoulder and headed to the bar. As he watched her order, Levi hid a small smile – it seemed Hange was still inseparable with the damn lute. Some things never change, it seemed.

His musings were cut off abruptly, when Hange sat down at his table. In her hands she held two cups with something that smelled very much like piss. Levi cringed.

Hange finished the first mug in one go. She wiped off her mouth and then put the mug down with a loud ‘thud’. She pushed the second mug to Levi.

“Drink,” she ordered, glaring at him.

“I don’t get drun—”

“Drink,” she pressed. “I don’t care if your stupid witcher physiology enables you from getting drunk. I won’t have this conversation if one of us is sober.”

“Alright,” Levi nodded and took a large gulp from the mug. Oh, so that was ale. Disgusting. “Are you happy now?”

“Ecstatic,” Hange crossed hands on her chest. “Now answer me this – what is so interesting about the back of my head?”

“What? I don’t—”

“You do,” Hange cut him off once more. “You do understand. You’ve been staring at me the whole evening. Don’t you have something better to do? Some important witcher stuff? What the fuck are you even doing here, Levi?”

“I…” he cleared his throat, feeling small under Hange’s furious gaze. “I needed somewhere to spend the night.”

“And that’s why you decided to spend your evening in the company of drunkards, eating your soup in a corner?”

“Maybe, I’ve missed the human’s company.”

Hange threw her head back and laughed. “You missing human’s company? Don’t give me that crap.”

“Well…” for a second Levi fidgeted with a sleeve of his armor, refusing to look Hange in the eyes. It was now or never. Either he apologizes to Hange right now, or there won’t be another chance to reconcile. He took a deep breath and lifted his gaze. “Maybe, I’ve missed you.”

Hange’s eyes widened just a fraction. She composed herself almost immediately, but Levi noticed the slight change in her. Could it be that not everything was lost?

“Bullshit,” Hange answered, her tone even colder than before. “How can you miss the person, who destroyed your life again and again? Who is the sole reason for any hardship you had ever faced? Who does nothing, but shit on your future?”

Levi silently lowered his head, not even trying to stop Hange’s angry tirade. He deserved every word, every insult she threw his way. He would endure a lot more offence from her, if it meant that Hange would forgive him. If everything could go back to normal. If Levi could finally reunite with his best friend.

Hange took a deep sigh and stood up. Levi looked up at her gingerly, expecting to see her storm out of the tavern. Instead Hange went to the bar again, ordering two more mugs of ale, and returned to his table.

“They are for me,” she told curtly, when Levi tried to reach to one of the mugs. “I really can’t deal with this sober.”

“Hange…” he cleared his throat, feeling more nervous and vulnerable than when he was staring at a mob of harpies. “The way I treated you was awful… I was angry and needed someone to pour that anger out, but you didn’t deserve it. I’m asking for your forgiveness, but if you can’t grant it… just say so. I promise not to bother you after this.”

“Sweet Melitele,” Hange shook her head. “Tell me, Levi, are all witchers assholes, or was I just lucky enough to meet an exception?”

She took a long sip of ale, wincing and wiping her mouth afterwards. For a long moment, Hange stared at the table, tracing the invisible patterns on the old, wooden surface.

“I forgive you, you dumbass,” she said finally. Her words made Levi’s heart swell. He stared at her, hope shining in his gaze. “But I have two conditions.”

“Anything,” Levi promised readily.

“Anything, huh?” Hange arched an eyebrow. “Are you really that eager to have my forgiveness or are you just naturally so brave?”

“Both,” he replied, shrugging.

“My first condition,” she smiled in an almost feral manner. Shivers ran through his spine, but Levi didn’t allow himself to shudder. Showing his fear would only make Hange crueler. “I want you to help me with my experiments. I found a new potion and I need a person with fast metabolism to run some tests on it, and I need to extract four front teeth from algoul for my next concoction.”

“That’s it?”

“That’s it,” Hange nodded. “As for my first condition. My second one,” she paused, leaning in and grabbing the collar of his armor. “I need you to give me that sweet kiss of yours.”

“Well,” Levi smirked, moving closer to her, before their lips were almost touching. “Ready to be destroyed then.”

[keelywolfe]

What music does Edge listen to when he’s being a lovesick sap over Stretch?

I was thinking about it ‘cause I’ve got brainrot for your BAON series (over the course of the past week I’ve binge read it nonstop and I think I’m close to being caught up on it) and there’s two routes to go here:

First option: songs like Invincible (it has a spicyhoney video for it on yt, i very much recommend)

It’s a very specific type of feeling, but Edge is from underfell and that is a Place so I think it fits. Honestly it’s probably the definition of a gooshy love song there, the lyrics are perfect: it’s basically saying that This is the person that I’d want and allow to help/save me in the event that I need it (which has got to be Quite a level of trust in UF), they make me powerful, together we’re “invincible.” It admits weakness then immediately strengthens past that when the other comes into the equation. Like- here we’ve got the whole “they complete me” trope in romance, who’s to say canceling out eachothers weaknesses isn’t exactly what Underfell would take from that?

Then there’s the second option: softer songs like honey bee (the one by steam powered giraffe)

More geared to their vibe here on the surface, specified to thoughts about Stretch and their situation. And yes It’s a breakup song but music is art and art can be interpreted however the viewer feels it aligns with them so who cares- but anyway yeah it’s slow, it’s sweet, it’s dripping with adoration and the lyrics match up So Well for them: I feel it’s safe to infer from his stance on their souls that edge doesn’t have a damn clue how he ended up with stretch as his husband but understood or not, stretch is here anyways. His honey bee does what he wants, thank you. It’s great, and I could continue this for multiple paragraphs but I already feel like I’ve talked Way Too Much here so I’m gonna cut that short.

Both of these feel like they Fit to me, but ultimately it’s a question of ‘when you take the boy out of underfell, how much punchy stays in the boy?’ The 2nd one would make sense and I don’t doubt he’d absolutely listen to stuff like that but what I don’t know is Would the 1st one still just hit harder for him?

Please, this has been bugging at me for days and i’d love to hear your thoughts

First, I am so delighted you've been enjoying the series!! I love these boys endlessly and I love getting to share them. 🧡

As to the question, oh, damn, that's a tough one. Both those songs are amazing spicyhoney songs and I agree that Invincible is great for an Underfell vibe. So true to their relationship, too.

I'd never heard the song Honeybee before, and it's going right on my playlist because that is a great Spicyhoney song. My heart, it is full, and it's a great Edge song since he canonically adores 'crooner' style music.

(If anyone has forgotten or is curious, when Edge was a kid in Underfell, Red found a busted up walkman for him and the only cassettes he had were the likes of Frank Sinatra and Sammy Davis Jr.)

That said, in my own mind, Edge has simple tastes when it comes to music and when it comes to Stretch, one of his favorites is 'At Last' by Etta James https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1qJU8G7gR_g

Growing up in Underfell, Edge never could have imagined someone like Stretch even existed, much less what he would become for him. He wasn't looking for someone to share his life with, he was content enough with what he had. It was Stretch who came to him and can a person even recognize loneliness for what it is until someone comes into your life and then is suddenly gone...and then returns? He certainly didn't and it was Stretch who taught him, unintentionally, a lesson learned with a first kiss.

Edge didn't know loneliness before Stretch, not by name, and he didn't know love before him, either, and Stretch in his life has given him so much that he never even knew to miss. Family and friends and laughter and love. Everything he can't live without anymore is his, at last.

[losingitinjersey]

Tagged by @snapthistiger for my lock screen, last song listened to and last photo taken.  

I can guarantee you The Real Cancun soundtrack wasn’t the last song I listened to but music is literally playing nonstop in my house and this was one of the last CDs I listened to so here you go.  Every day I play a different CD from my collection (because what fun are they just sitting in a book not being played?) so I’ve been enjoying my new routine of choosing a different CD every morning.  I took this CD pic to share with my bff who was the one who turned me onto the movie back in the day.  Can’t vouch for the movie but the music is great :) Nostalgiaaaa! 

Tagging @momsgotwine, @angesaurus and @tuesdayswithrachel for your lock screen, listening to, last pics, please!

----------------

It’s a big week over here for us.  On Wednesday morning erp has her 18 month check-up (which is in Norfolk because we didn’t want to change pediatricians so hooray two-hour round trip).  On Thursday I have my 32 week OB check-up which means I have to drop erp off at daycare for the first time since she was six weeks old.  Tomorrow, we’re going over to the daycare to do an initial visit so she and I can meet the caregiver and help get erp a little familiar with the place before I abandon her there for a few hours on Thursday.  

This past weekend we went to a pool party with Kevin’s fellow residents and erp was SO incredibly shy that she wouldn’t budge from hiding in Kevin’s neck and arms for a solid two hours.  Knowing she’s this shy, how can I just leave her somewhere new with strangers?  I *know* it’ll be good for her to start being exposed to other environments and people but I’m so anxious about it.  I wish I could just do it all and not need any help.  

Given all this, I decided I need to suck up my introverted, homebody ways and start making an effort to branch out and get this shy babe some socialization.  This morning I signed up for Peanut, a mom-friend finder app, thanks to @aquietcupoftea‘s recommendation, and “waved” at eight different moms in my area.  We’ll see how it goes from here!  

Here’s to getting through the week with as minimal tears (for both of us) as possible.  

[girls-scenarios]

Recent Girl Group Comebacks

Hey everyone! A ton of girl groups have recently made their comebacks and I wanted to highlight them all as much as a could, even though I haven’t been as active as I usually like to be. Please go give all these girls some love and check out these absolutely wonderful songs! - Admin Kiwi

Oh My Girl - Dun Dun Dance

This song is perfect for the summer and I can’t help but dance every time it comes on my playlist!

KEEMBO - Whatever

I will always hype up KEEMBO, this duo makes such good music. I think it’s actually impossible for them to make a bad song. Please go check them out!

WJSN THE BLACK - Easy

Okay but this comeback? They did it for the lesbians. If you for some reason haven’t checked it out yet, you’re definitely missing out.

Rocket Punch - Ring Ring

This song has not left my on repeat since it dropped and it probably won’t for the rest of the year. I listen at least once a day and bop hard every single time. It’s probably my favorite release of the year so far!

fromis_9 - We Go

Another amazing song by my girls. The music video is so cute too! I’ve been listening to this song nonstop as well, it’s perfect for the summer.

Aespa - Next Level

I’ll be honest and say that I didn’t really like this song when I first listened to it, but it’s definitely grown on me and I understand why it’s banned for students in Korea. I’ve basically had “I’m on the next, level, uh” stuck in my head on loop since it dropped.

TRI.BE - RUB-A-DUM

I’m going to be honest I don’t know anything about this group but I really liked this song!

BlingBling - Oh MAMA

Y’all know I loved BlingBling’s debut and this song is also totally up my alley. I’m loving them so far and I’d totally recommend that you all check them out and give them some love!

PIXY - Let Me Know

Okay I haven’t gotten to scream about PIXY on here yet but OH MY GOD I love these girls and everything they’ve put out so far. If you aren’t stanning yet then please do because they are SO talented and their songs, dances, and concepts have felt so unique!

Yuqi - Bonnie & Clyde

I’m so glad we got this Yuqi solo. I love this song just as much as everyone else.

Everglow - First

Ummmm did they have to go this hard? No, but they gave us EVERYTHING and I’m obsessed. If you somehow missed this song go listen now because it’s a masterpiece.

GWSN - Like It Hot

You all know how much I adore GWSN and this comeback once again did not disappoint. The entire mini album is great as always and I’ve been watching the music video again and again because all of them look so amazing and I love the song so much. Go give them so love because SOSO IS BACK!

woo!ah! - Purple

I adore woo!ah! and this song was just as wonderful as all their others!

Joy - Hello

I’m sure you’ve all already seen this. She’s amazing.

Mamamoo - Where We Are Now

This is the most recent comeback on the list so far and it’s a pretty great start to the month!