#I’m tuned in til the end

[mcbscientist]

[housefinches]

junk journaling ◡̈

[whumptober]

Whumptober 2023

Welcome to Whumptober 2023 — the sixth year running!

COMPLETIONISTS/PARTICIPANT BADGES CAN BE FOUND HERE

To those of you who participated last year, welcome back! To everyone joining this year, welcome!

Please make sure to read the Event Info carefully, as most of your questions will be answered there already. For everything else, you are welcome to come to our ask box or ask questions in our Discord server here.

This year’s AO3 Collection can be found here.

And this years playlist can be found here.

There are 139 prompt options in total this year - this is including the alternatives list! A special thanks goes out to those who took part in our trope vote back in July. From the 1526 responses to our list of 223 tropes, we looked through the popularity results, as well as your honourable mentions, and were able to produce this years prompts list. Stay tuned, as we will be posting some of the results at a later date!

We’re very excited to see the community come together once more and be a wild, chaotic bunch of creators and consumers of whump. Go wild with the prompts, and support your fellow creators - we wish you all the fun!

Best of luck and happy whumping,

Mods Vanne, Yenn, Kitty and Surro

(All 31 Themes + Prompts, Event Information and FAQs are posted below the cut!)

Whumptober 2023 Prompt List

No. 1: “But now this room is spinning while I’m trying just to fill in all the gaps.”

Safety Net | Swooning | “How many fingers am I holding up?”

No. 2: “I’ll call out your name, but you won’t call back.”

Thermometer | Delirium | “They don't care about you.”

No. 3: “Like crying out in empty rooms; with no-one there except the moon.”

Journal | Solitary Confinement | “Make it stop.”

No. 4: “I see the danger, It’s written there in your eyes.”

Cattle Prod | Shock | “You in there?”

No. 5: “You better pray I don't get up this time around.”

Debris | Pinned Down | “It's broken.”

No. 6: “Do or die, you’ll never make me; Because the world will never take my heart.”

Recording | Made to Watch | “It should have been me.”

No. 7: " “I paced around for hours on empty; I jumped at the slightest of sounds.”

Alleyway | Radio Silence | “Can you hear me?”

No. 8: “I’ve got soul, but I’m not a soldier.”

Overcrowded ER | Outnumbered | “It’s all for nothing.”

No. 9: “Learning everything ain't what it seems, that's the thing about these days.”

Polaroid | Mistaken Identity | “You're a liar.”

No. 10: “Can’t you see that you’re lost without me?”

Broken Phone | Stranded | “You said you'd never leave.”

No. 11: “All the lights going dark and my hope’s destroyed.”

Animal trap | Captivity | “No one will find you.”

No. 12: “I haven't slept in days but who's counting?”

Red | Insomnia | “I’m up, I’m up.”

No. 13: “It comes and goes like the strength in your bones.”

Cold Compress | Infection | “I don’t feel so good.”

No. 14: “Feed me poison, fill me ‘till I drown.”

Flare | Water Inhalation | “Just hold on.”

No. 15: “I don't need you to help me I can handle things myself.”

Makeshift Bandages | Suppressed Suffering | “I’m fine.”

No. 16: “Would you lie with me and just forget the world?”

Gurney | Flatline | “Don’t go where I can’t follow.”

No. 17: “You’re the lump in my throat and the knot in my chest.”

Collar | Touch Aversion | “Leave me alone.”

No. 18: “I tend to deflect when I’m feeling threatened.”

Blindfold | Tortured For Information | “Hit them harder.”

No. 19: “I’ll take one final step, all you have to do is make me.”

Floral Bouquet | Psychological | “I’m not as stupid as you think I am.”

No. 20: “People don’t change people, time does.”

Blanket | Found Family | “You will regret touching them.”

No. 21: “See the chains around my feet.”

Vows | Restraints | “Don't move.”

No. 22: “They never saw us coming, ‘til they hit the floor.”

Glass Shard | Vehicular Accident | “Watch out!”

No. 23: “It’s gonna get me by the end of the night.”

Shadows | Stalking | “Who’s there?”

No. 24: “I’ve got a head full of chemicals; mouth full of ridicule.”

Goodbye Note | Neglect | “I thought they were with you.”

No. 25: “You’re not delivering a perfect body to the grave.”

Storm | Buried Alive | “They’re not breathing!”

No. 26: “Sometimes I get so tired; I don’t even know myself.”

Seeing Double | Working To Exhaustion | “You look awful.”

No. 27: “You drew stars around my scars; But now I’m bleeding.”

Matches | Scars | “Let me see”

No. 28: “We might not make it to the morning; so go on and tell me now.”

Bloody Knife | Sacrifice | “You'll have to go through me.”

No. 29: “I only sink deeper the deeper I think.”

Scented Candle | Troubled Past Resurfacing | “What happened to me?”

No. 30: “It’s okay, just to say, ‘I’m not okay’.”

Borrowed Clothing | Bridal Carry | “Not much longer...”

No. 31: “I thought that I was getting better.”

Emptiness | Setbacks | “Take it easy.”

Alternatives List:

Betrayal

Aftermath of Failure

Brass Knuckles

Decoy

Body Modification

Playing Cards

Examination

Hunting

Drugging

Shaking

Panic

Broken

Miscommunication

Lab Rat

Reluctant Whumper

Event Info & Rules

~ Please read our extensive event info posts before sending us an ask ~

WHUMPTOBER is a month-long, prompt-based creation challenge (think: Inktober, but whumpier). There are 31 official themes this year - one for each day of the month - which can be used, skipped, or combined in any way you’d like. The 'theme' of each day is the line of lyrics.

The prompts are merely to serve as inspiration without being taken literally (e.g. you don’t have to include the exact wording of prompts into your work). Feel free to run rampant on interpretation. For example, if the prompt is "flame", you could create something with reference to a candle/campfire, your character could have suffered a burn, or the flame could be related to the 'spark' of a relationship. It's truly up to you!

In total, there are 4 prompts for each day: there's lyrics, an object, a trope and a line of dialogue to choose from.  We want to give everyone as much creative freedom as possible, as well as increase event accessibility for folks with triggers and squicks.

Creators can PRODUCE work in any media they choose, including but not limited to: writing, visual artwork, photo/video/audio edits, paper crafts and elaborate recommendation lists (not just a list of links). Creators can PARTICIPATE as much or as little as they want (i.e. you don’t have to do ALL the prompts if you don’t want to) and prompts can be used in any order. They are also free to use even after the event ends.

When uploading Whumptober content to your blog, be sure to tag the with:

#whumptober2023 …..(the event tag)

#no.1, #no.2, #no.3, …..(day number)

#lyric, #bruises, #stabbing,  …..(the theme or specific prompt you chose)

#fandom or #OC, … (ironman, originalcontent, oc …)

#medium …..(gifs, fic, podcast, art, etc.)

#teeth, #gore tw, #etc …..(trigger warnings & any additional tags. Add "tw" AFTER the trigger/content warning. )

#nsfwhump …..(only for nsfw content)

#your own tags go here

PLEASE BE DILIGENT WITH YOUR TAGGING. Only properly tagged posts are considered for archiving on the official @whumptober-archive blog. They must be tagged in the order above. An elaborate post about our tagging system can be found [here]

Unfortunately, due to the sheer number of participants in recent years, we cannot guarantee your work will be archived. A random selection of properly tagged posts from all genres will be reblogged each day.

Whumpers who produce content for 31 total theme days are considered event completionists and will be tagged in a masterpost at the end of the month. A form will be published at the beginning of November asking you to tell us if you completed the event. You do not need to post anything you have created, we rely on trust and we will not check this.

Questions not addressed in one of our many event info posts can be directed to this blog. We will not answer any questions that have been answered in the FAQs or rules already.

Frequently Asked Questions

Q. How does this year’s prompt list work? What do I have to choose?

You can create something based on:

The overall theme/lyric of the day

Prompt 1, 2 or 3

One or several of the alternative prompts

A combination of the above

Q. Is [specific anything] allowed?

When in doubt: JUST DO IT!

Q. Do I have to do all 31 days?

Participate as much or little as you like! Just be sure to tag your posts properly (ex. #no.7, #radio silence). If you create works for 31 total theme days you will become a completionist. But apart from that, there are no repercussions if you don’t fill prompts for each day.

Q. Can I post early/late?

Yes, you can post whenever you want. We will only reblog posts during October, but you can use our prompts all year round. The day you post will only affect your probability of being reblogged.

Q. Will you reblog my post?

Due to the sheer number of content posted during Whumptober we can’t promise to reblog every single post. We will make a random selection trying to capture a wide variety of content. The following will increase your chances at being reblogged:

tag your post properly

post within 2-3 days of the theme you want to fill: if you fill the prompt for Day 1 your chances of being reblogged during October 1st to 3rd are highest and will go towards zero afterwards.

Q. What if I don’t understand a prompt/theme?

Send us an ask! We’re happy to help with wild, unhelpful clarifications or brainstorming. That being said, the themes are entirely up for interpretation. Don’t take them too literally. For example: You can be choking on a cherry, someone else can choke you or you could be choked up on emotions, etc.

Q. What kind of content can I make? Can it be NSFW?

This is a MIXED MEDIA event! You can write fic, post meta, doodle or paint, create a gifset or photo edit, link a song, or get crafty with video - anything goes. As for NSFW, make what you like, we just hope that you’ll tag your work accordingly so that others participating in the event can stay safe.

Q. Can I combine Whumptober with other creation challenges?

Absolutely, as long as the other challenges allow it too.

Q. Can I upload/repost my Whumptober content to other social media platforms?

Of course! You can post your own content wherever you like (or you can opt to not publish it at all). Additionally we’ve created an AO3 Collection to archive any fics posted there. It can be accessed here. The tumblr blog @whumptober-archive is the official archive, so please respect the boundaries of any closeted whumpers in your social circle.

Q. Can I use prompts to write a new chapter for an existing fic?

Yes.

Q. An existing fic I am currently writing contains many of the Whumptober prompts, can I use it?

If you are actively writing this fic at the moment with the Whumptober prompts in mind, yes. If you’ve previously posted something that checks the boxes, we ask that you not include it retroactively for this current year. You can, however, add new chapters relating to one or more of the prompts.

Q. What kind of characters can I write for?

Fandom characters, OC characters, human, furry, alien, cyborg, RPF, whoever you like. You can use the generic “whumpee” character or have specific ones.

Q. Does it have to take place in a specific fandom?

No, you can create works for your own worlds or for fandoms or for both. You can also create more generic or pan-fandom works. You can do cross-overs or use OCs, whatever you want.

Q. Can I use a prompt multiple times?

Yes, but it only counts once towards being a completionist.

Q. If I’m not comfortable with one day’s prompts can I use a prompt of a different day as a substitute and still be a completionist?

No, you can’t exchange prompts for different days. However, if all four prompts of a specific day make you uncomfortable, we have created an alternate prompts list that you can draw from. You can exchange any prompt with these, but please make sure not to use them twice.

Q. Where can I post my work?

Post where and how you want. You don’t have to (cross)post it to Tumblr or at all. Just keep in mind if it’s not on Tumblr we will not be able to add it to the blog archive.

Q. Can I start posting early?

You can, but this is an October event and wouldn’t it be more fun with everyone doing it at the same time? That being said, you can post early, but we won’t be reblogging any work predating October 1st.

Q. Do I have to finish a fic I started/can I post WIP’s?

Yes you can post WIPs. And you’re not obligated to finish it in October for it to count towards being a completionist.  

Q. Is co-writing allowed?

Yes, absolutely, and it would count towards being a completionist for both/all of you.

Q. Do I have to create 31 standalone pieces to be considered a completionist or can I write one continuous story?

One continuous story is fine.  The challenge is to write something for 31 prompts. If that’s spread over 31 fics or just one, you are still considered a completionist. (The same goes for every other media you choose.)

Q. Is there a min/max limit on word count?

There is no limit.

Q. Can I combine prompts? Is there a limit on how many?

No limit and combine as many as you’d like.

Q. Is a hc/angst/emotional whump focus ok?

Of course! We are not going to establish a threshold for whumpiness. If you think it’s whumpy enough, then it’s whumpy enough. It can be physical, psychological, emotional, or any combination of the three.

Q. What’s considered nsfw?

See this post

Q. What is whump?

Typically the genre includes situations where a fictional character is hurt, be it emotionally, psychologically, or physically. Fanlore provides information here.

Q. My interpretation of the prompt isn’t whumpy at all, does that count?

If you don’t think your interpretation is whumpy, then it doesn’t count for Whumptober. Remember that whump comes in many forms, though, and that we don’t have a whump-checker or a threshold for how much whump needs to be included. If you think your interpretation contains enough whump to count, then it does.

Q. Can I start working on the prompts before October?

Absolutely! That’s why we post the prompts a month in advance. We recognise how difficult it can be creating for 31 days in “real time” so feel free to start creating early!

Q. How do I tag triggers?

tw at the end of the word, ex. #gore tw

Q. Do I have to use your tags?

Yes, if you want your work archived on the blog. If not, feel free to use whatever tags you want. 

Q. Does combining prompts count towards completion?

Yes

Q. Can we @ you?

Yes but we mostly rely on the #whumptober2023 tag.

Q. Is there anything we are absolutely not allowed to write?

There are no rules, but please make sure to properly tag your trigger warnings. And keep in mind Tumblr’s policies if you are posting it here (or the policies for whatever site you use).

Q. Where can I go for brainstorming help?

Here on Discord or come into our ask box.

Q. My characters are minors, is that ok?

Yes, but as with everything else, use clear and descriptive tags.

Q. Can I cross post on other blogs?

Yes, multiple platforms and blogs are perfectly acceptable. You can also post different works to different accounts under different names, without posting them everywhere at once.

Note: This is a creation challenge, please don’t repost your old work under our tags (unless it’s been changed or edited for the event).

Thanks for reading, and happy whumping!

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Just Friends: Isn't It Fun?

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: Bucky Barnes

masterlist

Summary: You make a new friend.

It’s giving

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

You hum as you come up the walk of your building. It isn’t in the best location. In the dark, it’s scarier as a shadow overhangs the door beneath the awning. You reach into your knapsack, hanging from one shoulder, as you eke out the tune to Easy Street offkey.  

As your keys jingle, a shape pops out of the bushes and you scream, throwing the keyring as you turn to sprint back down the pavement. You’re caught from behind as a familiar chuckle rolls up into the moonlit sky. You grunt and elbow Bucky as you realise the trick he’s pulled. 

“Ah, why would you do that?” You wriggle until he lets you go. 

You face him and try to snarl but you’re so relieved it’s just him, you can’t help but smile. 

“Just having some fun. At your expense,” he chuckles and bends to pick up the keys. “Can I give you some advice, dreamy?” He raises your keys and holds them so one points between his fingers. “Keep your keys out, hold em like this and if some creep jumps out of the bushes, stab em good.” 

“Stab-- Buck,” you shake your head. “I can’t do that.” 

“You can if it’s life or death,” he swings the keys around to hang from his thick fingers, “here.” 

“What-- what are you even doing here?” 

“Huh. You didn’t let me ask my question first,” he huffs as he stands back and waves you past. “Why didn’t you tell me you were working late?” 

“Well, firstly, you got lots going on,” you say. “And I didn’t think of it. I’m fine.” 

“Fine, I could be a real bad guy waiting for you out here in the dark,” he taunts. 

“But you’re not. So now my turn, why are you here?” 

“Well, I was wandering by on my way to see a Buster Keaton marathon and thought maybe you’d be up for it...” 

“Tonight? Right now?” 

“I see,” he grabs the door as you opens it and holds it, “you’re too busy. Or maybe you’re too good for me.” 

You enter and he follows. It’s that familiarity that you just sort of fell into with him. He’s like a wise big brother, even if he really is older than your grandpa. It’s the most unexpected bonds that are the strongest. 

“No, not at all, Mr. Hero,” you climb the stairs as he stays a step behind, his hand on the railing right by yours. 

“Ugh, why doesn’t this place have an elevator?” He whines. 

“I thought the serum would give you extra strong legs,” you toss over your shoulder. 

“Whatever.” He clucks, “so how about it? You wanna fall asleep in the theatre with me, dreamy?” 

“Dream-- why do you call me that?” You head down towards your door. 

“You got your head in the clouds. Also, when you watch movies, you get this look in your eyes, like you’re living on screen. Dreamy. See.” He explains. 

“Mm,” you grumble. 

“You don’t like it? I put up with Buckaroo.” 

“That was once and it was a slip-up,” you unlock your door. “Fine, I’ll go with you since you don’t have any other friends.” 

“I have friends.” 

“Sure you do,” you snort and turn to give him a playful wink. You put your keys and bag down on the tall table. “You and Cap, the superfriends. Heroes and buddies til the end—whoa!” 

You hit the shoe rack and stumble, landing on your ass. Bucky is quick enough to save you but he doesn’t. He watches smugly and cackles as your cheeks burn up. 

“Not funny,” you pout. 

“Oh, it is very funny,” he approaches and offers his hand. “How’s that humble pie taste?” 

“Fine. I was being a meanie. I admit it but you got my adrenaline up. I can’t help it.” 

“Ha, yeah, that was good. You shoulda seen the look on your face. And that noise you made.” He hauls you up as his vibranium thumb rubs between your knuckles. “Ayeeeee!” 

“I don’t sound like that.” 

“You do.” He grins. You scowl and he laughs again. “You know I love that face. The day you actually get mad at me, I’ll be down on my knees, dreamy.” 

“Ugh, you are such a...” you let the sentence trail off and the dimple stays in in his cheek as he crosses his arms. 

“I’m a what?” 

“Nothing.” 

“No, say it,” he goads. 

“No.” 

“Come on, I can handle it. You know, I got hit by a truck the other day, I think I can take a few words.” 

“Hit by a truck? Bucky?” You squeal. “Are you okay?” 

“Ah, look at me. I’m fine. Not a scratch. That you can see,” he shrugs. “So what am I? Tell me.” 

“No,” you turn your nose up. 

“Say it. You’ll feel better.” 

“It’s... not nice.” 

“Come on,” he unfolds his arms and flutters his fingers at you, “I am trained in torture.” 

“No,” you grab his hands, his skin rough, “no tickles.” 

“So, tell me.” 

“Not fair,” you struggle to keep his hands away from your sides. 

“Almost...” he wiggles his fingertips a half-inch from your middle. 

“Brat! You’re a brat!” You step back, out of his reach. “Okay, and if you keep being one, you can go to the movies alone.” 

He laughs and grips his hips in victory, “wow, you know, I’ve actually never got that one. Creative.” 

“Right, well, I can’t sit in the theatre in this get-up,” you look down at your frilly plaid overall dress and white blouse.  

“I didn’t get to mention that yet. It’s a choice, as the young ones say.” 

You cringe, “it’s my work uniform.” 

“Uniform?” He squints. 

“Don’t, okay? I get enough guff from the customers.” 

“Guff? Oh, that’s language I understand.” 

“Ergh,” you stomp your foot. “You are so... so... old.” 

You turn and march away. He laughs and you turn into your bedroom. He just loves to tease you and despite your efforts, he always gets to you. At least he’ll have to be quiet during the movie. 

[mingtinysworld]

Lock your windows

Pairing: jung wooyoung x fem!reader

Genre: smut, "dark" romance

Word count: 1.8k

Summary: After a discussion with your experimental boyfriend, you two are able to play out one of your long awaited fantasies

Warnings: MDNI, CNC, "stalker" wooyoung, role playing?? oral (m/f receiving), fingering, mention of a safe word, it seems noncon but just read til the end please trust me��

Network: @newworldnet

A/n: idk why but the idea of wooyoung being a stalker is so hot to me. I also know he would be such an experimental partner to have, it's driving me insane. I need him so very badly

You and your friends screech in laughter as someone says something hilarious. You and your friend group have been out for a couple hours now, drinking, eating, shopping, just having the best night out ever. The air is warm and stale, the humidity making your hair puff up in frizziness.

As you stumble along the path in your black high heels and sparkly silver dress you stand out, like a shiny pearl in the ocean. The glitter makes shadows on the dimly lit walls, making the light bounce off. You start laughing at something again when you suddenly stop.

A shiver slithers up your spine and makes the hairs of your nape stand up in alarm. Your friends realize you’re not following them anymore and they stare in confusion. They ask if you’re ok but you’re too busy looking around, trying to find the source of the eerie feeling.

You can’t seem to find anything in the shadows and tentatively take steps forward. Your friends look at each other with raised eyebrows but choose to shrug it off. You keep walking but you don’t say anything until you reach your doorstep. They say goodnight and leave you to your apartment.

You walk in and throw yourself on the cushiony couch, resting your eyes from exhaustion. You tap your foot quietly and hum a random tune that’s been stuck in your head all day when you hear a distant clatter from the direction of your bedroom and your eyes shoot open and foot stops tapping. You stand up curiously and walk towards your room.

As you walk in you can feel a cold breeze and you blink in confusion. You see that your window is wide open, blinds pulled apart. You don’t remember leaving your window open but you must’ve been in a rush and didn’t even realize. You shake your head at your inattentiveness and close it shut. You return to your spot on the couch and shut your eyes once more.

There’s clattering coming from the same direction again and you sit up in alarm this time. You warily go to your room, trying to inspect what the noise is. You see the window is open again, making the curtain billow in the wind.

“What the fuck.” You exclaim. You’re convinced you’re going crazy. You’re sure you closed it, but maybe the day is really getting to your head. You take a step and are thrown down to the ground in an instant. You gasp from the impact, managing to catch yourself on your elbows, but your knees are on fire from the carpet burn.

You try to turn on your back and find that your movements are restricted from a weight on your lower back. It feels like a boot is pressing you down, pushing the air out of your lungs. You breathe in tightly and your whole body tenses. You whimper in pain and the pressure lifts a little and you sigh in relief.

“Hi my love, we finally meet.” The stranger speaks with a low tone.

“W-who are you?” You wheeze out.

“I’m your lover of course, who else would I be?” He says matter of factly. You furrow your eyebrow in confusion.

“I’m not sure what you mean.” You try to talk without your voice betraying your fear. He chuckles at that and completely removes his boot.

“Oh you’ll understand what I mean soon.”

He reaches down to turn you over. As you lay on your back in the dark room, you observe his face as best you can, the only light provided being the single lamppost outside. He has long jet black hair and dark glimmering eyes. His nose has a perfect point and his mouth is turned up at the corners in a sneer.

He also studies you in turn. Your beauty up close does not compare to the months of watching you from afar. The hundreds of photographs hanging in his room pale in comparison. He’s filled with so much pure excitement at seeing you face to face finally.

“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for this moment. For the day I get to caress your face, for the day I get to hear your sinful noises brought out by me. I’ve been very, very patient and this is my reward.” He looks into your eyes deeply, as if he’s mentally willing you to believe his words.

You feel a shiver go up your spine as you realize that the man is completely serious. He truly believes his delusions and it isn’t up for a discussion. He looks down at his silver watch, as if he’s on a mission. With a growing dread and arousal you realize that he is on a mission.

You are the mission.

You continue to stare at him with wide, fearful eyes as he straddles your still form. He leans into your neck and just stays there, nose taking in your scent deeply. He inhales and exhales and groans quietly. With his mouth muffled against your collarbone, he speaks.

“I can just smell the arousal coming off of you. You really love this huh.” You let out a small whimper at that and he raises his head.

“Don’t worry angel, Wooyoung is here to take care of you. I got you.” He speaks with a promising tone.

He leans in once more and he can feel your rapid heartbeat, which only aids in exciting him further. He kisses you with ease, almost intimately, caressing your bare arms and leaving goosebumps in his wake. You try to use your knee to push him off and he growls into your open mouth. The sweet kiss turns into an animalistic one. He gropes your breasts and kisses you breathless. As he rocks back and forth across your abdomen you can feel his growing bulge.

You feel your cunt throb emptily, needing something you’re too ashamed to admit. You submit to his feverish kisses and try to relax your body. He notices the change and grins in response.

“There you are, my love. Let’s get to the bed, shall we? I’d rather take you on a softer material.” He mockingly pouts and furrows his eyebrows. He lifts you up with ease and gently sets you on the bed. His hands settle underneath your shirt, slightly tickling your stomach. You squirm in hopes that he touches you sometime soon, or else you’ll explode.

He trails down your body, reaching your flimsy shorts and teasingly blows air on you. You buck your hips instinctively and he holds you down, clucking his tongue in disapproval.

“Nuh uh baby, I thought you were gonna be good for me?” He cocks his head sideways, questioning you.

“Yes, yes, I will, I promise.” You babble, feeling fucked out already.

He gives you a soft smile and rubs your thighs soothingly before landing a harsh smack. Your body jolts in reaction but you manage to hold in your yelp. Without wasting another second he pulls your shorts aside and dives in.

You muffle your moan into the palm of your hand, feeling like you need to scream. The stimulation is making you feel relief but so much torture at the same time. Wooyoung’s expert tongue is lapping up your slick, almost like a hungry animal and when he looks up at you, his gaze is as sharp as a predator.

His finger finds your clit with ease and twists and pulls as you mewl pathetically. Not once does he come up for air, he practically buries his head in your pussy, prodding his tongue into every crevice.

“You taste so sweet mmhh.” Wooyoung moans into your pussy, sending vibrations up your body. He digs his fingers into your hips, holding you even closer. You have to bite on your hand now to keep yourself quiet. He slightly bites down on your clit and you let out a shriek. Your body jolts up and you cum with a shuddering breath.

He finally removes himself from you and stares down at the state of your cunt. It’s a sopping wet mess, covered in spit and slick. His face is also covered in your juices, and he greedily licks up what he can. You close your eyes in an attempt to recover, but it’s interrupted by his fingers.

He rams two fingers deep into you until he’s knuckle deep. He finds your g-spot immediately and you see stars, making you hold on to his wrist in a desperate attempt, but he simply pins your hand to your side. You grind your hips deeper into his fingers, needing to feel more. He reads your mind and adds in a third finger.

You moan at the stretch and clamp around him. He looks at your face intently, watching your screwed up face of pleasure. He wastes no time adding a final fourth finger. You gasp at the sensation and convulse from the intensity. Your whole body shakes as you reach the peak of your climax. You cry out and gush around Wooyoung’s slender fingers and he fucks you through your orgasm.

You groan lightly, feeling the energy escape your body. Wooyoung softly caresses your stomach to bring you down and you close your eyes and breathe out. He crawls to you slowly, and you open one eye from feeling the dip of the mattress.

Wooyoung takes your hand and puts it over his hardened bulge. He grinds into your hand slowly, letting out groans of satisfaction. Due to your exhaustion he chooses to go easy on you. He pulls down his pants and gets closer to your awaiting mouth. He slides in slowly, only going halfway. You let your mouth go slack and have him use you gently. He moves in and out, poking the inside of your cheek occasionally. You land a soft hand on him once more and attempt to help out. He throws his head back and enjoys the sensation of your warm mouth.

With a few more soft thrusts he pulls out of your mouth and cums all over your breasts. Once he comes down from his high he grabs towels to clean you up. He gently dabs at your used cunt and slick thighs, including your now cum stained breasts. You feel sleep calling your name and let out a content sigh. Wooyoung notices and lets out a giggle whilst cuddling up to your side.

"Thank you for trusting me baby." He expresses his gratitude by giving small pecks to your face.

"I told you I wouldn't have to use my safe word. You were perfect." You mumble, only half awake.

"I know love, but it's always good to be prepared. It would kill me if I ever hurt you." He speaks reverently, like you're a goddess to worship.

You give him a grunt of acknowledgement to let him know you're still listening even though your tired body is screaming for sleep. Wooyoung looks at your serene face, remembering how wild and frenzied you had looked only moments prior. Before you're completely out he leans down to whisper in your ear.

"I guess this is what happens when you don't lock your windows baby."

[rocknrolldecadence]

˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖✮-------------------✮˖⁺‧₊˚ ˚₊‧⁺˖

on top

you always seem to be beneath izzy, in every aspect. you decide to change that.

warnings: smut buts its minimal, axl being annoying as per usual

a/n: my first fic guys… enjoy!!

it had always been like this. he was up on stage, you watching below, engulfed by the crowd. him, tuning his guitar and you carefully listening to the chords. him, up on the bed with you on knees in front of him. he was always above you. always.

guns n roses had another show tonight, and of course you were there. you had to be - you were the rhythm guitarist’s, izzy stradlin, girlfriend. you were friends with the rest of the band too, so staying home just wasn’t an option.

pressed up against the stage, the Whisky A Go Go seemed more alive tonight than ever. maybe it was the drinks you’d had during soundcheck, but something felt different. you felt different.

you stared up at your boyfriend, playing along to ‘my michelle’, a favourite of yours off their album. izzy’s fingers graced the strings of his guitar methodically, plucking them with both elegance and vigour. this was better than any playgirl magazine or calvin klein ad. wayyyyyy better.

you looked up and locked eyes with izzy, his black hair almost covering his eyes. he winked, and you felt like you’d hit with cupid’s arrow. he was just like that, ever since you had met him. a total flirt, but in the best way possible. a girl behind you mistakenly thought the wink was for her and screamed. you laughed. izzy looked away, looking at the the crowd in front of him. being at the side of the stage was always what you preferred. you got to be closer to him.

soon enough, the synth that opens ‘paradise city’ started, signalling the end of the gig. you shouted the lyrics along with the rest of the crowd, absorbing the energy. izzy glanced over at you as axl sang ‘and the girls are pretty’, and you blew him a kiss. he smiled and carried on with the playing. he was oblivious to what you were planning.

you loved your boyfriend, but you were tired of the power dynamic you had going on, the always-on-top thing izzy had. so when you finally went backstage, you set your plan into motion.

you found izzy in a dressing room along with the boys, chatting about how the show had went. you sat beside him, and he kissed you almost immediately. of course, you kissed back, ignoring axl's complaints of “get a room!” and steven’s giggles til you were done.“how did you find the show?” duff asked you. you two had been close since izzy introduced you to the band. laughing, you replied “nah it was shit. do better.” duff feigned hurt, clutching his palm to his chest.

“kidding, kidding. it was really good. i was right up at the edge of the stage, so i got to see all the action.” you giggled.

izzy grinned. knowing you enjoyed a gig always gave him an ego boost. maybe a hard-on too. he swung an arm around your neck, and you sunk into the embrace despite its casual nature. it felt good. natural. your bodies fit together like perfect puzzle pieces.

as the conversion progressed, there was no doubt the five men were high. they increasingly got more chatty, and the more chatty they were, the more giddy. so you decided it was time to leave.

“cmon izzy. let’s go.”

“awwww do we have to? i’m having fun here. you are too.”

“i am. but let’s go.”

your boyfriend reluctantly got up and held your hand. the boys protested, but it was late. you wanted to get home. so you could continue with the plan.

you got in the car, with izzy following. turning the key in the ignition, you sped away. phase two had begun.

“babe, is something wrong?” izzy questioned. his concern made you swoon, but you stayed focused. you wanted to make this work. you had to. you needed to teach this man a lesson.

you shook your head, but izzy wasn’t satisfied. the annoyance of being pulled away from his friends was getting to him. “cmon, tell me. this is no fair.” he groaned. you chuckled at his out of character complaints. izzy was normally a lot more cool than this. evidently, you weren’t the only one worked up.

you sighed, trying to figure out how to word this to your boyfriend. “just wanna…” you started. izzy gave you a curious glance. “wanna… try something. tonight.”

he smirked, the innuendo not lost on him despite how high he was. little did he know what you had in store for him.

“like what?”

“you’ll see.”

“just tell me.”

“be patient!”

izzy fell silent, too tired to argue back any further. you let out a sigh of relief in your head. this had to be a surprise. otherwise, he’d never learn.

soon enough, you pulled up to your shared apartment. and as soon as you were inside the doors, you kissed izzy like you never would again. the fervour caught him off guard, snapping him out of his tiredness. of course, you’d had a similar amount of passion many times before, but he could sense this was different. whatever it was, he liked it. he wanted more.

you pushed him up against a wall and continued the attack. this elicited a string of moans and groans from your boyfriend, ones you never would’ve imagined hearing before. izzy stradlin, making noises like this? izzy stradlin, being submissive? this was new. and you welcomed it.

“you like that, huh?”

“oh shut up.”

this was all the confirmation you needed - you had him wrapped around your finger.

things escalated, and pretty soon the two of you had retreated to your bedroom. you pushed your boyfriend onto the bed with a demanding force. izzy knew he was in for something good. he just had to go along with your wishes; and that he would do.

before he had even taken off his jeans yet, you could see izzy’s boner through his jeans.

“someone’s excited.”

“how could i not be?”

“i didn’t think you’d be so… accepting of this.”

“it’s new. it’s hot. i like it.”

now that got you going. you both undressed quickly, and before long, you were sinking onto izzy’s dick. you both moaned. it was basically routine at this point, but this time round? things were different. you were in control.

cowgirl wasn’t a position you’d tried before, but fuck did you love it. finally being on top of the man who was always on top you. the mix of shock and desire on his face. the power you had. it was perfect.

the roll of your hips finally sent both you and izzy over the edge, and you fell down beside him. you were warm. it felt good. different. the dark night made it hard to see, but you could just about make out the quick rise and fall of izzy’s chest. “did i go too hard?” you asked. you were scared that the newfound control had boosted your ego a bit too high.

“nah. it was… good,” izzy confessed. “reallyyy good.”

this wasn’t expected. izzy always had the power in the bedroom, so you didn’t know how he’d react to the change. he revelled in it, and so did you.

“that so?”

“what?”

“i really didn’t expect you to like that. you just… took it.”

“i mean, i told you i thought it was hot.”

you just chuckled.

“how long are you gonna tease me for?” izzy sighed.

“a while.”

[rafeyscurtainbangs]

Espresso or Coors? – Rafe Cameron Blurb

+18 (Fluff – strong language, drug usage, and drinking)

Frat!Rafe x PianoBar!Reader

+18

🪄 soft!frat!rafe, swearing, name-calling, smoking, drinking, Rafe & reader’s POV

📖 Frat!Rafe gets talked into going to a dueling piano bar. He’s not happy about it but when he sees you in the alley, walking in for your shift, everything changes. From that point on he tries all night to get your attention 💕

✨Kelce: yo

Topper: that's her???

Kelce: look at his face

My cheeks burn with embarrassment. I take a deep breath, collecting myself before burying my beer, quickly ordering another. Be cool.

Rafe: that obvious?

Kelce: very

Rafe’s POV:

“5th and main?” The Uber driver drones.

“Yup. Thanks, man,” Topper chirps, stepping into the back seat before me. The Uber XL fills with people, as many as possible. I slide into the back; some sorority girl instantly falls onto my lap. Her tanned body mashes against my white button-down, making me tug at my fabric to check if that shit was staining before throwing the fit I wanna throw.

“Top, you short on cash these days or what? Why couldn’t we get another van, asshole?”

“There’s another comin’. You coulda waited,” Topper sighs, half-listening, concentrating more on the girl sharing a seat with him. “Plus, it looks like you made out just fine,” he cracks up, watching the girl staring up at me, her sticky glossed lips pressing against my neck soon after. I pinch my eyes shut, focusing on anything but this. Yeah, I’m not drunk enough for this.

“It’s called the Dueling Keys. Tell her we’re going to Dueling Keeyyyss,” one of the girls slurs into her phone to a friend on the other line.

I groan and grumble, “I thought we were going to Copperhead. What the fuck, Thornton.”

Topper lifts his hands, pleading innocence. “That’s where we were going, bro. Ask the man.” He motions to the driver, who’s lost in his own world, tuning out the nightmare in the back of his van entirely.

“It’s across the street, Rafe. It’s a piano bar. We always start there because they have $3 Long Islands,” Cassie adds calmly, my favorite of the sisters, the only sober one in the group.

“Thanks, sweetheart,” I sigh, taking out my phone, making myself look busy.

“You smell so good, Rafey,” the drunk girl in my lap mutters as she plays with the top button of my shirt “sensually,” tugging it open before working on the next.

“That’s enough,” I sigh, resting my hand over the top of hers, giving it a little pat. “Thanks.”

We pull up to College Street, cool air replacing the thick, booze-ridden fog of the van. I walk out fast, putting space between me and the girls. I need some fuckin’ air, but they follow me. “I’m takin’ a piss,” I yell back at the two tagging close behind.

“You need help or-” One of them grins, making the other giggle and squeal. Jesus fuckin’ Christ.

I walk to the end of the building, fading into the alley, resting my back against the cool brick wall, finally feeling peace. The other van rolls up; Kelce, steps out of the ride with a girl on each arm, thoroughly relishing this shit. I pluck a joint out from behind my ear, flicking my lighter a few times before it takes, ripping a hit. Thick smoke rolls in my mouth, pouring from my lips as I look out at the mess of college student coming in and out of bars.

“Thank you, Donnie,” my head turns in the opposite direction, catching sight of a woman walking toward the side door. She smiles at the security guard, her little heels clicking along the pavement, hair bouncing with every step.

“Babygirl,” the man booms merrily, making her beautiful eyes sparkle. “How are you doin’ this evening. You look as lovely as ever.”

“Thank you,” she smiles. Her spangly pink dress sways with every step as she goes up the steps ‘til she’s gone, disappearing into the bar.

“Hey, man… Does she work-”

“Stop right there,” the bouncer warns, taking a few steps closer. “I don’t need some drunk frat boy causin’ trouble in my alley. Get the fuck outta here,” he spits, looking back at me like I’m trash.

“Sorry. I’m just-”

“Smokin’ weed? Takin’ a piss? I heard it all, Chad. Y/N doesn’t want your messy ass.”

Well shit… I smile, ashing out the joint as I catch her.

“What are you smilin’ for, boy? Get! And pick that shit up. Do I look like your maid or somethin’?” He barks as he points to the joint on the ground, making me roll my eyes before picking it up.

“Have a nice night, Donnie,” I mumble, giving him the finger as I foot away.

My nerves start to rise, my night taking a turn. I double-check my shirt again for an orange stain, smoothing it out before adjusting my hat. She has to be a bartender, a cocktail waitress, maybe? I position myself away from the Delta Gammas, joining the group of boys in the back of the line.

We shuffle to the front, the music getting louder and louder as we get closer to the door. I pass a bouncer my ID, impatiently waiting to get inside. Luckily, I’m a head taller than most, surveying the scene, following the traffic flow from the entryway to the bar floor. Top flags me down, but I look past him; he and Kelce, lost in a sea of females. I wouldn’t stand a goddamn chance in there. Not if I want her to notice me.

Perfect. I slide into a booth with a group of my younger brothers, the four of them equally surprised that the kook trio got split. “A Coors, please. N’ you can start a tab for the table. Thanks,” I pass the cocktail waitress my card as my phone buzzes.

Topper: we good

I look down at the text message from Top, rolling my eyes.

Kelce: you bein a bitch for a reason or what

Rafe: ill tell you later

Kelce: so ur pissed

Rafe: I’m not fuckin pissed

Topper: you seem upset

Rafe: shut the duck up

Rafe: fuxk

Rafe: fuck

Kelce: how drunk are you 😂

Rafe: leave me alone alright. There’s a girl somewhere around here and she’s perfect and I don’t want these girls fucking it up for me

Topper: oh that’s great buddy

Kelce: congrats man

Rafe: keep them over there

Piano music fills the space around us, silencing the crowd before a swell of applause comes in it’s place. I look up from my beer, seeing the same beautiful girl from the alley behind the piano, canceling out all my previous assumptions. Fuck. I lift my drink to my lips, catching my hand shaking slightly. She leans into the microphone, her smile lighting up the room, drumming up further applause. “Dueling Keys, how are we feeling tonight?” She lets the cheering die down before starting again, introducing the man across from her, then herself.

Kelce: yo

Topper: that’s her???

Kelce: look at his face

My cheeks burn with embarrassment. I take a deep breath, collecting myself before burying my beer, quickly ordering another. Be cool.

Rafe: that obvious?

Kelce: very

Topper: do the thing

Rafe: what thing?

The thing? Are you kidding me, Top. What thing?

Another group of ours walks into the pub, catching Topper and Kelce’s focus. I feel myself getting anxious and annoyed, wanting to get her attention in some way before anyone fucks this up for me.

Rafe: tell me the thing

Kelce: order a song cameron

Topper: $5 for a song and you can leave a tip

Rafe: how

Kelce: haven’t you done this before

Rafe: …

Kelce: grab a little thing from the middle write your name and the song

Rafe: any song?

Topper: idk the rules

Kelce: there’s rules.

Rafe: what are they??

Kelce: idk ive never done this before

Rafe: duck u both

Rafe: FUCK*

I take out my wallet, thumbing through my cash: $20, $50, $100. No… What do I do now? $20 isn’t enough. Or is it? $100, I’ll look like an ass. $50… $50. Yeah – Yeah. Shit.

I quickly stuff the cash into the envelope, looking down at the next obstacle. Name… Easy. Rafe. Song. I want it to be something she likes. Something she wants to sing. I don’t wanna be some “Chad, dick, douchebag” requesting Chainsmokers. I look up, so lost in my mind that I missed the first song. Jesus fuck. Pull it together, Rafe.

Topper: Cassie says she likes Sabrina Carpenter

Rafe: how does she know that

Topper: idk I asked who’s that and she said give me 2 minutes. She found her IG

Rafe: Tell her I love her and text me the yn’s @

Topper: Espresso

Rafe: I’m drinking coors

Toppers: its a song

Kelce: 😂

Rafe: thank you Cass

I scribble down the track’s title on the envelope, rising to my feet, heading straight for the front. “Hi, Rafey,” I dodge the sorority sister coming my way, swerving around a bar top table to avoid her, hastily stepping toward the stage.

“This next one’s for Nate,” y/n announces, squinting to get a better look at the chicken scratch handwritten left by one of my frat brothers. “What does this say, babe?” She asks kindly.

“Party in the USA,” he hollers over the crowd.

“Oh, well then. Miley, it is,” she croons as she rolls out her wrists, fingers quickly striking the keys. Her voice pours out of the speakers, sending goosebumps down my arms.

The vocals are so trained; so beautiful it’s like she wrote the song herself. I can tell she’s adding a little more to it, making it her own without effort. Amazi- “Put the envelope in the bowl and sit down,” an old lady scolds me, tugging at the hem of my shirt.

“S-Shit. Sorry,” I scramble. Taking the last couple steps to the fishbowl full of requests, my eyes not leaving y/n. Her gaze lifts as she looks for her partner, catching my eyes instead. I smile, and she smiles back.

So damn beautiful.

Fuck me.

“Sit,” the old lady hisses, jarring me out of my daze. I suck my teeth and smile at her before looking back at y/n; her attention already pulled away, making me feel like I could fight an old lady in public. Bitch.

I sit down with the boys again, just hoping she’ll pull my request right away so I can loosen up a little, sip on a beer while I listen to her perform. Finally, something goes my way. Y/n opens the little envelope, eyeing the cash inside, flashing it to her partner between her pretty little manicured fingers.

“50 bucks? They must really wanna hear that song, y/n.”

“I guess so,” she giggles delightedly as she flips the card over. “Ohhh… A man after my own heart. Rafe, this one for you.”

My name leaves her lips, making my stomach flip. Adrenaline courses through my veins as she looks out into the crowd, searching for me. The boys must have been pointing me out because she finds me quickly, giving me a little nod. This night couldn’t get any better. I don’t know this song. I’ve never heard this shit a day in my life, but I can tell you it’ll be playin’ on repeat after this. The crowd sings along with her, y/n feeding off their energy.

Her voice is the prettiest thing I’ve ever heard, so bubbly and sweet as she nails each note. The song is catchy, too… Nothin’ I’d ever listen to but she’s making me feel like I could. She is so fucking talented. Maybe she plans on recording her own shit one day.

The song closes out, and the crowd breaks into applause “Earth to Rafe. Rafe?” A girl screams at me, apparently battling for my attention. “We’re going to Copperhead. Close your tab.”

“I just ordered a beer,” I lie. “Just go. I’ll meet you. Yeah?”

“No… Come,” she pouts, holding out her arms, giving me grabby hands. Fuck that.

“Who are you?” I scoff.

“Who am I? Who am I?” She starts to go off, but Topper yanks her away. That was close. The masses finally leave, lifting a massive weight off my shoulders. I widen my thighs, relaxing into my seat a little more.

It’s a euphoric rotation: watching her play and sing, performing for the crowd with her witty conversations alone. She’s got a beautiful laugh and a beautiful personality. Everything about her is beautiful. She notices me. I know it… It’s like we’re the only two here, I swear.

Reader’s POV:

Rafe… Fuck, he’s handsome. He’s a frat, bro, for sure, but he didn’t leave with that crowd. He asked about me… I’m almost positive enlisting some help from the army of sorority sisters he showed up with. Rafe doesn’t strike me as a Sabrina Carpenter guy. You laugh to yourself, thinking about it, looking into the crowd as you meet his eyes for the nth time of the night.

All set, I couldn’t help perform for him. Sure, I was entertaining a crowd, but each movement, each smile, each love song was performed just for him. I wanted him to feel like he knew me better at the end of the night, and each little adlib between my co-performer and me gave him a little more of my story: a music major with big dreams of becoming a recording artist.

Now I want to know his story.

He’s only requested one song. The night’s almost over, two requests left in the bowl. Rafe pulls out a card, writing something before stuffing some cash inside. He stands up, walking your way, making it through the crowd a little easier than he did the first time; a little more confidence in his walk.

Your heart starts to race, hands trembling on the keys. You position yourself on the bench, leaning in a little closer. He hands it directly to you with a smile. The boys at his table hoop and holler, whistling for him, making your cheeks heat up, nervous butterflies swirling in your stomach that you don’t usually have on the stage. Oh my god.

He gives you a little more of him this time: Name – Rafe Cameron

Song – Dreams Fleetwood Mac

this is my favorite song 🙂

You open the envelope, taking out another $50, but the little message on the flap has you tucking it in your bra instead of tossing it away when you see his phone number. Rafe smiles from the booth when you return your eyes to his, happy you kept it, taking a sip from his cup when the boys at his table start razzing him about it all.

Dreams. Huh? Not what I expected. There’s something sweet about it, though. It’s not exactly something a frat boy would choose. Maybe there’s a story there. Maybe he’ll tell me tonight? You search for the sheet music on your iPad, setting it up as Rex riffs. “And, who’s the next one for, y/n,” he smiles over the baby grand.

“Rafe Cameron,” you smile, your coworker catching onto your crush fast.

“The Rafe Cameron. Huh? The high roller?”

“The high roller. Mhmm… quite the charmer,” you add.

“Is he free after the show?”

“Rex,” you chuckle breathily. “This one’s mine.” Rex laughs and rolls his eyes, continuing to play with you, the two of you going back and forth, duetting different songs you can both play by ear.

“Well, is he free after the set?” Rex repeats himself dramatically, making the crowd break out in applause. You turn to Rafe and smile.

“Are you free after the set?” You ask sweetly. The blonde smiles and nods, mouthing that he’s all yours. All mine…

You break out into song, playing Rafe’s request, the two of you dueling back and forth, filling the bar with music. You steal glances at Rafe between cords and runs, enjoying the moment, thinking about how nice it would be to have someone in the crowd every night—especially someone who looks at you like he does.

He’s perfect.

YN: Meet me out back? 💕 Are you hungry?

Rafe: on my way. Yeah. Anything you want, princess

Fuck. You bite your bottom lip, reading and rereading Rafe’s message. Princess… It’s just another thing I could get used to. You check yourself in the mirror one last time, slicking on a little lip gloss and fluffing your hair.

You walk through the practically empty bar to the side door, some patrons still hanging around, sipping martinis and beer. You push through the door, Donnie pulling it the rest of the way open per usual, his face hard as stone, not his normal self. “Are you okay?” You ask uneasily, cocking an eyebrow up at him. He simply nods in the other direction, gesturing to someone. Rafe Cameron…

“You know him, baby?” Donnie rasps, looking at you with nothing but concern in his eyes

“Mhmm, Don. This is Rafe. He’s my date-”

“You know he was gonna piss on the side of the building before I stopped him?” Donnie cautions you, making Rafe scoff and laugh weakly.

“He wouldn’t be the first,” you chuckle as you adjust your purse on your shoulder, stepping toward Rafe.

“And he was smokin’ dope.”

“It was a pre-roll, y/n. Just a little weed,” Rafe mumbles, doing his best not to laugh at the older man.

“Naughty boy,” you tease as you slide your arm around Rafe’s waist, giving him a side hug. Rafe wraps his strong arms around your shoulders, pulling you in the rest of the way, holding you close. You take in his rich cologne; the feeling of your body wrapped up in him. Rafe lowers himself, whispering in your ear, setting your heart ablaze.

“Why don’t we get outta here, Princess?”

my masterlist 🔮

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tags ⭐️ @daryldixon83 @loserboysandlithium @rafesthroatbaby @akobx @hyperfixationgirl

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[ladyrowrites]

Promise Part 4

A/N: Ending may be soon.. I have so many fan fics coming up so stay tuned :)

Pairings: Gojo x Afab reader, Suguru x Afab reader

Warning: NSFW!!! Smut! Passionate love making, Lots of angst and some swearing, mentions of cheating, MDNI!!!

Wordcount: 7k+

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

CHAPTER 4: Regrets

Gojo is still haunted by what he did to you - to your relationship. The next morning, he called his secretary to find out who ‘Anika Watanabe’ is and he found out that she was the heiress of Watanabe Corporation. He was also forced to come into the office as his father ordered him because he hasn’t been coming to work the last 2 months, but what did he expect? Gojo was a mess and refused to leave the house. 

Everyone was staring and whispering when he came to the building. He nodded at his father’s secretary and she let him in. He was taken aback when he saw the woman he slept with sitting on his father’s leather couch with pursed lips and eyeing him. His mom was also in the office and came to hug him briefly while patting his shoulders. 

“So nice of you to join us.” His dad said sarcastically, “Wedding’s off and now there is a child on the way. Have you no shame, Satoru?” 

“Uhm, I’m sorry to intercept, but we both wanted this. Even though it was done the wrong way.” Anika said in a soft voice. His mom just rolled her eyes.

Gojo got irritated when he heard her response, “Bitch, I didn’t even want you. Also, that’s not my baby. Stop telling lies to people!” He sternly said. 

“BUT IT IS YOUR BABY!” Anika stood up and touched her belly.

Gojo saw red and yelled on top of his lungs, “THAT’S NOT MINE! I DIDN’T EVEN – I REMEMBER! STOP! TELLING! LIES!” While trying to contain his fists. 

“Anika, tell us the truth, who’s baby is it? Or else we’re going to conduct a paternity test.” Gojo’s mom said harshly. She had enough of this bullshit. If she wasn’t a Watanabe, she would have slapped some sense into her. 

“I…I…” She was stuttering and she didn’t know what to say.

“Even if it’s not Satoru’s child, he will take responsibility for it. Watanabe is now our partner. This will only strengthen our relationship.” His dad intercepted. Anika looked hopeful with his message.

“WHY WOULD I TAKE FUCKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR HER? I DIDN’T IMPREGNATE HER! I WANTED Y/N!” Gojo protested.

“Well, YOU FUCKED IT UP, DIDN’T YOU? YOU SLEPT WITH HER!” His dad is now pointing at Anika who was disappointed at Gojo’s response.

Gojo’s hands ran into his face and now frustratingly on his hair, “Yes, I made the biggest.. THE BIGGEST mistake of my life, but no dad, I’m not taking any shit from her.” And then he pointed at Anika, “And you! How dare you contact Y/N! This was none of her business and now she’s at the hospital!!! I don’t fucking care what happens to you. I AM NOT TAKING RESPONSIBILITY!”

At his words, his mom worriedly said, “What? Where’s Y/N? What the hell is happening?” Gojo just told her he doesn’t know either.

Anika quietly teared up and his dad just looked so done with this situation. Their sales are taking a hit because of what his son did and now Anika is pregnant with some other guy’s kid. 

“You don’t have the right to cry in this situation! You caused this shit by lying!”

“YOU WILLINGLY SLEPT WITH ME, S’TORU!”

“FINE, I DID!! AGAIN, BIGGEST, WORST, MISTAKE OF MY LIFE! But don’t add up any more lies, Anika! I didn’t even know who you were til today. I’m going to get a paternity test whether you like it or not —”

“OKAY! OKAY! It’s not yours! But, I already told my family, it was you and you have to take responsibility or else the merger will fail.”

“But the merger is already a done deal!”

Anika stood up and went up to Gojo’s face, “Yeah, but I don’t think you read one of the clauses right because it said in the contract that we can back away IF there is something we don’t agree with. Ooooops….”

Gojo’s dad and his face turned white. Ugh shit.

“It’s final, Satoru, you’re going to be a father.” His dad spoke with finality. Anika had the biggest grin and popped her tongue, “I will send you the schedule of my doctor’s appointments.” And touched him by his arm and left. His mom wanted to strangle that manipulative bitch – she really liked Y/N as her daughter in law.

“BUT DAD!!!!”

“Well, son, this is the consequences of your actions.”

Gojo was left stunned and called Utahime. Regrets eating him alive.

---------

You slept for at least 24 hours in the hospital and when you woke up you saw all your friends in your room with Suguru and Shoko. You were surprised when you saw them there as well but you weakly smiled at them. All of them had hopeful eyes at you – but it is “pity” and you feel a gut punch to your stomach.

“Uhm, this feels like my funeral. So what’s new with all of you?” You tried to lightly joke at them to lighten up the mood but they were not having it, “YAH! Stop saying that! You did almost die!” Miwa cries while trying to hug you. You comforted her by hugging her back and tapped her shoulders, “Don’t scare us like that again!”

“I’m sorry guys. I really am. I didn’t mean to. I’m just not in a good space right now.” You apologetically smiled at them while letting go of Miwa.

“As long as you’re okay now, that’s what’s important. We forgive you.” Utahime responded. 

The doctor gave you the okay to go home and that you slept for so long because your body was exhausted. Your prescription was to basically rest and not stress too much. All your friends helped you get home and even cooked for you so you can rest as much as you can.

Suguru and Shoko volunteered to take care of you for the night as Miwa, Mei, Utahime, and Yuki needed the rest as well. Suguru was sitting beside you when you three decided to watch a movie but Shoko dozed off. 

You can feel Suguru looking at you through your peripheral vision, “Why? Is there some dirt on my face?” You asked but still not facing him. He slowly took your left hand and cupped it with his, “I just want to say I’m sorry for all of this. You really don’t deserve any of it.”

You faced him and he had this apologetic look so you softly smiled at him and squeezed his hands with your right, “Don’t be. You’re not responsible for any of this.” You heard what happened when Suguru had that encounter with Gojo and Utahime flying back to Tokyo just to lecture him from Shoko – she left the part when Suguru talked about stealing you though. Shoko really felt guilty about knowing it first and she said that she should’ve told you right away – she was apologizing profusely but you forgave her because it’s not her fault and you wouldn’t want to know about Gojo’s infidelity through any other person. You also gave Utahime the look when you learned she did all that but she gave you the 'I’m your best friend so deal with it. look' You were thankful for all your friends because without them you could have really lost your life – and now you realize, he wasn’t even worth it. 

“I know, but, I’m really sorry my best friend is such an asshole.” Suguru responded, “I mean at least he showed me his true colours before marriage, you know? Because if he did it while we were married, the divorce would be more of a mess.” You sounded kind of positive, “But believe me, Suguru, I will be okay. Just some rough patches, but I will be okay again. Okay? Stop worrying, I won’t pull that shit again.” You reassured him, “Utahime might really kill him this time.”

He weakly smiled at your response and you made a pinky promise to him which he accepted, “Now, enough drama. Let’s finish Harry Potter!” Suguru looked at you once more and focused on the movie. 

-Leaving Gojo’s house that night-

“So were you really going to go after Y/N now?" Shoko puffed a smoke before entering Suguru’s car.

“I don’t know. I just said that because he was really an asshole. Like how do you cheat on someone like her? So dumb.”

“Did you really let Satoru take her? Or was it just to rile him up?"

-5 1/2 years ago-

Nanami was actually the first one you met from their group through work and then you saw Nanami at a bakery with Suguru so he introduced you to him. When Suguru first met you, he already knew you were a kind and confident person by how you carry yourself and how your smile was always radiating. From then on, you three would always meet up in the bakery for breakfast or lunch so Suguru asked Nanami to give him your number because he was a bit shy asking you because you were always teasing Nanami about the bakery girl and he was afraid that you might tease him too if he asked. 

As Suguru and Nanami wanted you to meet their other friends, they invited you to Korean BBQ as you said you loved it. When you came with them, all of their friends were already there and they introduced you to Shoko, Todo, Choso, and Sukuna. They all seem so friendly and so close to each other as they joke around – teasing Suguru that he was never the type to introduce a girlfriend to the friend group and he even let you sit beside him. Suguru denied that you were seeing each other that way and you just laughed at their teasing, “I just invited her today because we were having Korean BBQ and she said she likes this food.”

“Ahuh, you forced me to book this restaurant!” Shoko teasingly replied. All of his friends went “AYYYYY!” And you can see Suguru turning red, “Don’t mind them, they’re just dumb.” He whispers to you. You just nodded and said, “Don’t wor—-”

You were cut off when a voice came over to your table and yelled, “HOW’S MY FAVOURITE PEOPLE? I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU GUYS IN A WHILE!” He was a tall guy with white hair and a black glasses on – glasses inside the restaurant, weird, you thought. They all screamed his name and Sukuna scooched over so he could sit down but he sat right next to you. His glasses falling over his nose, “And who is this angel? Is God really giving me a gift right now?” Then he smirks at you.

You rolled your eyes at him and said, “I’m sorry, I’m no angel, but I guess you’d have to put down your glasses because this girl has some hidden horns.” Now, it was your time to smirk. Everyone at the table was taken aback but cheered because no one had ever put Gojo in his place. They all said you had guts and even Suguru tapped your shoulder saying you did a good job. 

Gojo did put down his glasses and wow, does he have the bluest eyes ever – like the ocean, you're most favourite place in the world. My god, why is everyone at this table so handsome? Did they all meet in a pageant or something? Gojo saw you peeked at him so he said, “Why? You like what you see?” and winked at you.

You turned to him and said, “Yes, I do and as a matter of fact, you look like my mom’s dog.” Everyone erupted in laughter and Gojo was taken aback – your mom’s dog? What the fuck? No one has ever said that to him. Almost all girls will be falling on his beck and call, but you were different. Very interesting, he thought.

Suguru placed his arms over yours and said, “Aight, that’s my girl.” Your heart jumped at what he said and chugged the beer. Everyone was cheering you again as you finished the pint. Gojo gave Suguru the look of, “Oh, she’s yours?” and as they were best friends Suguru understood what he meant and he nodded but also retracted his arms on you. Suguru thought Gojo understood what that nod meant.

Gojo extends his hands to yours, "Gojo Satoru."

You accepted, "Y/N, L/N."

After meeting you, Gojo started to look forward to meeting his friends again because you became a part of their friend group and he wasn’t fazed even though you were talking and laughing more with Suguru - a pang of jealousy, maybe, but he's Gojo Satoru.

Gojo started to talk to you more and even asked for your phone number right in Suguru’s face. You don’t know if this is a good idea but he was so straight forward to you. He began messaging you and even showing up to breakfast or lunch in the bakery with Suguru and Nanami. 

After 6 months, just all of a sudden, you were smiling more to his texts and even went out with him once with only the two of you – helping you with your groceries. Usually you would do this chore with Suguru because you felt more comfortable with him because he doesn’t really make inappropriate/flirty comments and the last time he did it was at the dinner and that was it, but getting to know Gojo more, you got used to his antics. And when Suguru actually called you that night, you said you were with Gojo because he was already on his way to do groceries as well even though he didn’t buy anything. All Suguru said was, “Oh okay. Just wanted to see what you’re doing. Have a great night then.”

After that, you haven’t heard or seen Suguru that often and the last time he texted you he said he has a big architectural project overseas that will last 3 months so you won’t be meeting him for a while. You were kind of sad because you were so used to his presence and he was a really great friend. For those 3 months though, you got to know Gojo Satoru deeply – hanging out more, having profound and serious talks with him which you didn't expect in his goofy personality.

And one night, you went over to Gojo’s house because he said he was sick and there was no one to take care of him. You told him to eff off and call Shoko instead because you were going to hang out with your best friend. He said Shoko doesn’t care about him even though she is a doctor and then he called you ‘heartless’. You gave up, canceled your plans and went to his place. It was your first time seeing his crib and it’s huge. When you entered, he was smiling weakly at you so you touched his forehead with the back of your hands to try and check if he really has a fever – he actually is super hot(THE TEMPERATURE, lol). He wasn’t wearing a shirt and his jogging pants were hanging low on his torso. You had to swallow because damn it is getting hot in here! You try to not look at his body so you just said, “Fine, you are sick, now let’s get to your bed, and I’ll make you some porridge and tea.” He then took your hand and led you to his bedroom – his house is on the penthouse and a loft inside it – the second floor was his bedroom and it also had the master’s bathroom. 

You asked where his medical kit was and then you took his temperature, it was at 38°C so you went to his bathroom, took a towel and washed it with cold water and you put it on his forehead. He was softly smirking at you – my gosh, he had the nerve to look at you like this despite being sick, so arrogant, you thought, “Yah, remove that wide grin over your face! Your fever is too high for you to be acting like that.”

“Whaaaaat? I’m just happy someone is taking care of me.”

“Ahuh…. Okay, I’m going to go now in the kitchen downstairs okay? I’m going to cook some porridge and make tea for you. Be right back.” Before you could turn, he held your hand once more and told you to sit right beside him, “Uhm, I don’t think so, mister. You need some food so you can get better right away.” He pouted on you – why is he so cute? You gently release his hand, “Don’t worry, I’ll be back okay?” Then you softly smiled and touched his hair that was currently up from the towel in his forehead, “Promise, I won’t take long.”

“Okay cause’ I’ll miss you if you’re gone too long.” You just laughed at what he said and pinched his nose – ugh, stop making me fall for you!!! 

After coming back with a porridge and ginger tea, you sat him up on the headboard and gave him the food. He was such a baby because he wanted you to spoon feed him. You just sighed and rolled your eyes and did it. You also gave him medicine for his fever. After this, you really want to go home or maybe sleepover at Utahime’s as you haven’t seen her in a while.

But lo and behold, fate has another plan for you because after feeding him, making him drink the tea and his medicine, you were about to say goodbye to him but he gave you beautiful eyes and said, “Aren’t you at least going to wait for my fever to come down?” Your conscience is too pure so you stayed with him. You dozed off on his side bed while he was holding your hand, but when you woke up, you were lying on his bed – wait, how did you get from sitting on the floor to here? You tried to get up but he had tightened his arms on you so now you’re staring at his face too closely. The towel from his forehead was gone so you traced his eyebrows, the shape of his eyes, and his nose but stopped when he spoke, “So you like what you see. Heh.” He slowly opened his eyes.

“Oh my gosh! You were awake! I knew it! Now, can you let go, mister? I wanna go home.”

“Okay, but do you like what you see?” He was so close to your face that you can feel his breath and it's making you feel things you shouldn’t, “Yes, I do.” You softly said. 

He chuckled, “Like your mom’s dog, hmm?”

“No,” You said seriously as you looked at his cerulean eyes, “You’re my type.” And as soon as you said it, you realized you fucked up because now he has the biggest grin in his face and if you think he couldn’t get closer, well he did and now he’s looking at your lips like it’s God’s greatest creation – he slowly put his lips to yours and he sensually bit your lower lips. Being caught in the moment, you open your mouth to receive his tongue and now you two are sharing a passionate kiss, “Hmm.. So I am your type huh?” He said in between kisses, “Don’t.. Be..So” You replied as he hungrily kissed you, “Don’t be so what? He breathed at your neck.

“Arrogant.” You smirked at him when he came up from the kiss to look at you. He just smiled at you and began going on top of you, “Is that so?” Gojo nibbles your neck and you start whimpering – he started to get hazy when he heard your soft moans but you snapped out and said, “Oh my god! You're still sick Gojo! What the hell, are you okay now?” You touched his forehead and he just chuckled at you, “Yes, I am okay now because you were such a good caretaker. Also, it’s Satoru to you.” He groaned in your ears and started to nibble you again because he got interrupted. Now, his hands start to roam under your shirt, but you hold his wrist, “Uhm, Satoru, we… I…”

“Tell me right now, princess, do you want me to stop? Promise, I’ll stop if you don’t want to.” FUCK! You don’t know what to do.

“Do you have feelings for Suguru?” He asks – you were surprised at his question and the truth is, you had a crush on him but it looked like it was one-sided because he never really flirts or gives hints or maybe you just don’t notice it? So you decided to let go of that ‘crush’ and you said, “It kinda went away, because…” Yes, Gojo kind of replaced him because he was giving you his undivided attention and he was such a flirt. At first, you really tried to ignore it with your every being but he was just so enticing.

“I don’t need a reason, princess. No was suffice.” and he comes back to your lips and the longer he was there, he was pressing his lips more onto yours as if it’s not close enough. You feel a bulge on his jogging pants and you were already getting hot below there because he was kissing you so passionately and you’ve been returning it, “Do you still want me to continue? If you want me—”

“Yes, I want you, Satoru.” As soon as he heard your words, he slowly put his hands on your shirt to remove it and also discarding your bra, he grunted when he saw your naked body – “goddess” is what he thought of. He removes his lips on yours and starts to kiss your neck and slowly goes down to your chest. He was sucking and kissing your hardened nipples and his other hand was groping your other bosom. You were losing it as you started to moan a bit loud. Hearing your whimpers, made him kiss your stomach and gently remove your pants. He was putting his lips all over your thighs then he stopped at your clothed wet cunt. He stared at it like taking a mental picture of it so you put your hands on your face because he was looking at your wet cunt so hungrily and you got shy all of a sudden. He groaned and removed your hand from your face, “So wet f’ me. Your pussy is so pretty, just like you angel.” Then he started kissing your cunt with your panties on. He was now using his tongue until you're soaked and then he glided your underwear to the side and starts using his fingers with his tongue, “Toru! Fuck! Ahhh.”

Hearing his name escape from your lips, he went in deeper and faster. Holy shit. No one has ever eat you out like this, “Fuck.. M’ so close, Toru!”

“Yes, angel, fuck, let go, yes, just like that. Cum f’ me.” He brought you to your high and came undone. You were sensitive but he cleaned you up with his tongue. He looked at you so lovingly because you were so beautiful at your fucked out face. Gojo licked his two fingers to taste your remaining cum and that’s where he realized –  you were the most delicious meal ever. He wanted to see you messier and fucked out so he removed his jogging pants and spit on his member. You looked at his cock and and went ‘o’ “I do like what I see, holy shit!” 

He cackled lowly with your comment but felt so proud. You got up and told him since he’s still a bit sick, you can do the work, he protested, but you made him sit by the headboard and you began touching his abs and started to kiss all over it. He was losing his mind and he started to moan so loud when you spit on his cock and started to roll your tongue on his base – collecting the precum. He wanted to cum right now but he wanted you more so he grabs your hair but you looked at him, “Not yet, Toru.” You savoured him slowly which was killing him but it was so fucking good. You bobbed your head faster – up and down and shoved all of him til his cock was hitting in the back of your throat. You were gagging a little bit but it didn’t stop you from taking him all in and massaging his balls. He was mewling your name and he can’t control it anymore so he grabs your hair again in which you let him and started to fuck your throat.

“FUCK!!! RIGHT THERE Y/N!!! OH MY GOD, YOU ARE SO FUCKING…. UGH GOOD, YES, ANGEL!” He groaned and came in your mouth, “Yes, angel, fuck, take all of it.. Ahhh.” Being a good girl you are, you swallowed all of it and opened your mouth to show to him that you did it, “That’s my fucking girl.” He was still hard from just seeing how you swallowed all of his cum without complaints so Gojo put you on his lap and started to line up his cock to your sopping cunt. 

“You’re such a good girl, there.. Fuck, so fucking tight f’ me. Shit.” He was easing into you and he was getting hazy on how your pussy is sucking him in. You tilt your head back, arched your back and were moaning so loud when he bottomed out. “Fuck yes angel, let them hear how my cock is so good to you.” He whispers in your ears. His left hand was on your waist and his right hand is groping your boobs. He slowly moved you – up and down and he was grinning from ear to ear when your boobs moved so beautifully with your ,"Toru!" whimpers. Now, he’s impatient – he fucks you so ravishingly like a starved animal who hasn’t eaten in days and moves his right hand to your waist. He is now pushing and pulling in your gummy walls, fuck your head is spinning and his cock feels so fucking good so you synched your movements with him and you were both getting undone. Loud whimpers and the squelching coming from you both is what can be heard in his loft. You take him in every position and you’ve lost count on how many times you did it. My god, his stamina was something else. You were both panting and sweating like you ran a marathon. And it was now noon. 

You faced each other and he cupped your face, “That was the best sex, I mean making love I ever did with someone.” He weakly smiled at you. It was the truth – Gojo’s sex life was just full of one night stands, fuck buddies, and quickies. It was his first time experiencing a passionate love making, “It’s like you weren’t sick though. Were you really sick or were you pretending, hmm? You were suspicious because how can he make you a fckin’ mess with a high fever like that – how is his stamina then if he wasn't sick? GOD.

“I don’t know, you healed me!” He said while drowning you with kisses in your face, “I’m hungry, tho, shall we eat?”

“Sure, I can cook something. Let’s shower first tho.”

You felt butterflies in your stomach when he back hugged you while you were cooking. You looked up at him and he sweetly smiled at you, “Mmmmm, this one looks like it taste so good.”

“Hmm, are you talking about the food or?” You both laughed and then he whispered something to you so unexpectedly that you felt your heart burst with happiness, “Please be my girlfriend. I promise, I’ll take care of you.”

You faced him, “Are you serious?”

He cupped your face – his cerulean eyes peering at your soul, “Never been this serious before. I really, really, really, really like you.” Gojo was hoping you’d say yes. PLEASE SAY YES! (Before Suguru comes home)

You were now smiling from ear to ear, “That’s a lot of reallys.”

“Because I really do like you. You're my type too, Y/N.” Ugh, the way he says your name…

“Yes, okay, I’ll be your girlfriend.” Gojo shouted YES! And starts hugging you tight, “Really?” He asks.

“Really, really.” You respond. 

After eating with now your ‘boyfriend’, you texted your friend group chat with Utahime that you have big news and you want to see them tomorrow. You all decided to eat at a Korean BBQ and sing karaoke after. Gojo said yes to all your plans because he really wants to meet all your friends. He did meet Utahime once before but just a quick “Hi, Hello” but it seemed he didn’t vibe with her – she was a bit snobbish at him.

The next day, you introduced Satoru to your friend group and they were all teasing you except Utahime. When you both went to the washroom, she whispered to you, “Are you sure you still don’t want to call this off?”

“‘Utahime!! Girlie, it’s okay. He seems decent and he promised he’ll take care of me. I mean if there are red flags, you know, I’ll break it off.” You reassured her.

“Okay, just want you to be happy and safe.” Utahime did see that he was a decent guy. Satoru was serving you food at the BBQ and making sure your water is filled at all times. He was very attentive which Utahime liked and he was vibing with the other girls – she was still skeptical, but of course it’s your best friend, she wants what’s best for you.

Satoru was down to everything you tell him – even singing some duet karaoke songs and joking with your girlfriends. You felt relieved that it was a great first meeting. 

-1 week after-

“Now it’s time to tell my friends, why am I nervous, angel?” You laughed at him, “My baby, you’re okay, it’s going to be okay, they know me already!” You console him. 

He held out his hand to lock with yours. You are at the Sushi restaurant and everyone is there – even Suguru… when did he come back? He was sitting beside Shoko and was smiling at you when he saw you but it turned upside down when he quickly looked at your hands interlocked with Satoru. He nodded to both you and Satoru.

“Oh so this is the ‘big’ announcement.” Sukuna teased.

“We were more surprised it’s not sooner.” Choso chuckled.

“Hey come on, give our Gojo-kun a break, he did change a lot. Congrats to the both of you.” Nanami comments.

Shoko just hugged you and said congrats. Everyone was cheering you both on and Suguru was just quiet the whole time. You tried to look at him but he was avoiding you. Satoru noticed it and squeezed your hand so you looked up at him and gave you a reassuring smile. You shake your thoughts off and tell yourself you'll talk to him next time – but that ‘talk’ never happened.

---------

“I did let him take her and that was so cowardly of me. Never again.” He told Shoko and drove off.

He regretted that day he didn't tell you how he felt. Now that Suguru has you again. He will make sure this time, no one will take you. It was 4 years of torture and you really deserve all the good love in this world. 

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Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Tags: @username23356-blog @iamrgo @mandysfanfics @shartnart1

NOTE: I will be on vacation for 1 week somewhere by the beach because this girl deserves it. Work has been burning me out lately so yes, I need a rest. I will try to work on the next part of Ex-Boyfriend Nanami and the next chapter of this. Ending is very soon, and it's oh so sweet!

Writing again soon,

Lady Ro :)

[ros3ybabe]

hello lovelies <3

I have been MIA for a while now, and that’s because life has been absolutely bonkers lately. Here’s a quick breakdown:

> my financial habits have been terrible, I’ve been able to afford rent but haven’t been saving or paying off debts at all and it’s driving me crazy but I’m trying to teach myself better habits

> because of my lack of financial skills, I will NOT be taking classes next semester. I owe about 1,800$ USD to my university and won’t be able to register anyways with that high of a balance

> someone who I thought was a good friend turned out to not be and I’m dealing with the aftermath of a hurtful friendship breakup

> because of said friendship breakup, a few people at work have been borderline bullying me for no reason and it’s made me cry and have lots of anxiety at work, has also affected several work friendships in a negative way so I’m pretty much done trying to be friends with people at work

> my roommates and I resigned our lease so I’ll be living with them for this year and next thankfully! I love my rooommates, they are truly good people

> I still haven’t seen my boyfriend in person since January 1st but we’re trying to find time and the finances to get me out to cali to see him hopefully in December

> I started working out again and upped my medication by 2mg and the difference has been immense, I feel so much better, more clear, more like myself and overall just happier and more content

> I’ve stalled in studying Japanese, haven’t put much of any effort towards it lately but want to restart asap as I have a Japanese lesson in 2ish weeks

so, that’s the breakdown. It doesn’t seem like a lot, but believe me, it’s been insane. October has been a crazy month. I’m hoping to get back to it soon and overall start living my life to the fullest again. Will be making an updated post of goals to accomplish by the end of the year so stay tuned for that!

til next time lovelies 🩷

[wordsarelife]

—𝖉𝖔𝖓'𝖙 𝖇𝖑𝖆𝖒𝖊 𝖒𝖊: official soundtrack!

note: requests are open regarding anything to do with the don't blame universe (you can tell me anything: what you (didn't) like, questions you have, asks for drabbles/ short fics, characters opinions/ moments you'd like to see. feel free!!!)

best of tweets will follow in a few days, stay tuned!!!

debut album: neon nights -> real songs

blood//water (grandson)

daddy issues (the neighbourhood)

you get me so high (the neighbourhood)

fluroscent adolescence (arctic monkeys)

only angel (harry styles)

second album: soft death -> real songs

jackie and wilson (hozier)

about you (the 1975)

i wanna be yours (arctic monkeys)

she (harry styles)

obviously (mcfly)

too sweet (hozier)

end of beginning (joe keery)

made up songs:

neon nights

in the haze of neon nights,/ we were fearless in our flights,/ chasing dreams under starry skies,/ laughing 'til tears filled our eyes.

but time slipped away too fast,/ those moments we thought would last,/ now i'm left here all alone,/ where did our innocence go?

neon nights, where did you run?/ lost in the shadows of what we'd become,/ we were supposed to grow old together,/ but life had a different tether.

remember those careless hours,/ building castles from shattered flowers,/ promised you a better fate, now i've noticed it's too late

but time slipped away too fast,/ those moments we thought would last,/ now i'm left here all alone,/ where did our innocence go?

neon nights, where did you run?/ lost in the shadows of what we'd become,/ we were supposed to grow old together,/ but life had a different tether.

in crowded rooms, i search for your face,/ but it's just an empty space,/ echoes of laughter haunt my mind,/ leaving fragments of us behind.

neon nights, where did you run?/ lost in the shadows of what we'd become,/ we were supposed to grow old together,/ but life had a different tether.

neon lights fade into gray,/ silent reminders of yesterday,/ i miss you more than words can show,/ in these neon nights, where did you go?

lying to your face

she’s got those sailor moon eyes,/ never been the type of girl to take home to your mother./ she’s got those meteorite vibes,/ put it in park we can go get high on each other.

they don’t make ‘em like you anymore,/ they don’t make ‘em like you anymore.

lying to your face,/ but I’m falling from grace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?/ lying to your face,/ in this twisted embrace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?

we could hide from the truth,/ escape from the lies and the drama./ lost in our youth,/ your body is my panorama.

they don’t make ‘em like you anymore,/ they don’t make ‘em like you anymore.

lying to your face,/ but I’m falling from grace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?/ lying to your face,/ in this twisted embrace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?

oh, honey, you’re my secret sin,/ with every touch, i lose again.

lying to your face,/ but I’m falling from grace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?/ lying to your face,/ in this twisted embrace./ oh, can i get you high tonight?/ can i get you high tonight?

cheap wine

we used to own the night,/ every whisper, every sigh,/ the way you looked at me,/ like we were meant to be,

now i see you in the crowd,/ his hand pulling you around,/ it's like a ghost of what we had,/ now he has you instead

i can't help but wonder why,/ we let our love just pass us by,/ now you’re living in a different time,/ but I’m stuck on replay in my mind.

now you’re dancing along,/ to his newest song,/ laughing like you did when you were mine,/ and it hits me, cause i can’t fix it,/ on the bottom of your lip,/ reminder how it is,/ but there’s still a drop of my cheap wine.

every time i hear your name,/ it’s like a flicker of the flame,/ i see your smile in my dreams,/ haunting me with what it means,

now you’re dancing along,/ to his newest song,/ laughing like you did when you were mine,/ and it hits me, cause i can’t fix it,/ on the bottom of your lip,/ reminder how it is,/ but there’s still a drop of my cheap wine.

every memory, every touch, / a love that once was, now it’s just too much,/ to see you move on, while i stay behind,/ clinging to the remnants of our time./ but i’ll raise a glass to what we had,/ and let it go, though it hurts so bad,/ in every tear, in every sigh, i’ll find a way to say goodbye.

now you’re dancing along,/ to his newest song,/ laughing like you did when you were mine,/ and it hits me, cause i can’t fix it,/ on the bottom of your lip,/ reminder how it is,/ but there’s still a drop of my cheap wine.

eight packs of cigarettes

in the glow of street lights,/ underneath the city's haze,/ you found me in the darkest nights,/ lost in a nicotine haze.

eight packs of cigarettes,/ burned through these lonely nights,/ trying to drown out regrets,/ but you're still in my head.

as the night moves past/ i'm the only one last/ tell me that you lied/ no, tell me that you're mine

eight packs of cigarettes,/ burned through these lonely nights,/ trying to drown out regrets,/ but you're still in my head.

in the haze of smoke and dreams,/ i'll keep searching for some reprieve,/ but until then, I'll keep the smoke,/ eight packs of cigarettes full of hope.

hot-headed

you walk in like a hurricane, eyes sharp like a blade,/ a tempest in your heart, every move is a raid,/ your words cut deep, leaving scars in their wake,/ a rebel without a cause, a risk i had to take.

hot-headed, you set the night on fire,/ a blaze of chaos and desire,/ hot-headed, you’re the thrill i crave,/ dancing on the edge of a tidal wave.

you're a wild card, a mystery wrapped in smoke,/ with a devilish grin, and a laugh that provokes,/ we clash like thunder, yet i can't stay away,/ caught in your storm, i'm lost in the fray.

hot-headed, you set the night on fire,/ a blaze of chaos and desire,/ hot-headed, you’re the thrill i crave,/ dancing on the edge of a tidal wave.

in the heat of our battles, we find our peace,/ in the eye of the storm, our hearts never cease,/ you're my sweet disaster, my beautiful curse,/ in this wild romance, we’ll always immerse.

hot-headed, you set the night on fire,/ a blaze of chaos and desire,/ hot-headed, you’re the thrill i crave,/ dancing on the edge of a tidal wave.

pixie dream girl

she's an average girl, with tangled up hair,/ her laughter's like nails on a chalkboard, it's more than i can bear./ she flutters around, like a clumsy old crow,/ leaving chaos behind her, wherever she goes.

she's a mess wrapped in chaos,/ a thorn in my side, no matter the cost./ she'll stumble and fall, then blame it on me,/ i'm tired of her games, can't you see?

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song,/ in nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long,/ she's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl,/ oh, in her eyes, she's a pixie dream girl.

she's a pixie dream girl, with a crooked old smile,/ her clothes mismatched, it's just not my style./ she talks too loud, and she never shuts up,/ i'm counting the seconds 'til i've had enough.

she's a nuisance, a pest,/ always around, never giving me rest./ she'll chatter and ramble, driving me mad,/ i'm losing my patience, it's really too bad.

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song, In nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long, She's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl, Oh, in her eyes, she's a pixie dream girl.

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song,/ in nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long,/ she's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl,/ oh, in her eyes, she's a pixie dream girl.

but oh, as she dances and sings to her favorite song,/ in nothing but a long shirt, dancing all night long,/ she's enchanting, in her rhythmic twirl,/ oh, in her eyes, she's my pixie dream girl.

soft death (in your arms)

your touch, like fire, ignites my skin/ we’re caught in the heat, where it all begins/ velvet kisses, burning bright,/ in your arms, i come alive tonight.

electric pulses, bodies close,/ in your eyes, a passion grows,/ dangerous, but i want more,/ in your arms, i’m begging for.

soft death in your arms,/ wrapped in the thrill, feeling your charms,/ every heartbeat, wild and free,/ i surrender, let it be.

your lips, a drug, i need the taste,/ losing control, there's no time to waste,/ aching love, a sweet embrace,/ lost in rhythm, we find our pace.

electric pulses, bodies close,/ in your eyes, a passion grows,/ dangerous, but i want more,/ in your arms, i’m begging for.

soft death in your arms,/ wrapped in the thrill, feeling your charms,/ every heartbeat, wild and free,/ i surrender, let it be.

the moonlight dances on your face,/ every touch, a sweet embrace,/ in this moment, we are one,/ desire rising with the sun.

soft death in your arms,/ wrapped in the thrill, feeling your charms,/ every heartbeat, wild and free,/ i surrender, let it be.

the day before tomorrow

don't rush into the unknown,/ tomorrow's not yet shown,/ take a breath, slow it down,/ in this moment, we have found.

let go of what's to come,/ today's beat, let's hum,/ in the now, we're alive,/ let's embrace this tonight./ the day before tomorrow,/ let's dance in the glow,/ no need to rush or borrow,/ just feel the flow.

sunset paints the sky in gold,/ memories to cherish, to hold,/ stars whisper secrets of the night,/ in this dusk, let's ignite.

let go of what's to come,/ today's beat, let's hum,/ in the now, we're alive,/ let's embrace this tonight./ the day before tomorrow,/ let's dance in the glow,/ no need to rush or borrow,/ just feel the flow.

time's river runs so fast,/ but we'll make this moment last,/ no regrets, no great sorrow,/ just today, no tomorrow.

let go of what's to come,/ today's beat, let's hum,/ in the now, we're alive,/ let's embrace this tonight./ the day before tomorrow,/ let's dance in the glow,/ no need to rush or borrow,/ just feel the flow.

the sweetest night

in the quiet of the night,/ underneath the stars so bright,/ close your eyes, my precious one,/ the day is done, the night has come.

the sweetest night, my dear,/ i'll hold you close, i'm always near,/ dream of gentle winds that blow,/ as you drift where dreams do go.

moonlight paints your peaceful face,/ in the cradle of my embrace,/ whispers soft, like melodies,/ carry you to far-off seas.

the sweetest night, my dear,/ i'll hold you close, i'm always near,/ dream of gentle winds that blow,/ as you drift where dreams do go.

stars above will guide your way,/ until the dawn brings a new day,/ sleep in peace, my heart's delight,/ in this sweetest night, so calm, so bright.

the sweetest night, my dear,/ i'll hold you close, i'm always near,/ dream of gentle winds that blow,/ as you drift where dreams do go.

echoes of devotion

my love, like orpheus, i'd come,/ to tread through shadows, my body numb,/ but truth be told, in my hearts embrace,/ i fear i'd falter, lose the race.

for i'd turn back, just like him,/ my gaze would brake, our future grim,/ your fading form, in shadows deep,/ my love, too strong, my soul to keep.

like orpheus, with his lyre's song,/ i'd sing to you, all night long,/ but in that moment, with fate's cruel twist,/ i'd choose your eyes, and lose what's missed.

for i'd turn back just like him,/ the current stronger than we swim,/ i'd face the darkness, lose my way,/ for one more look, i'd gladly pay.

for you're the melody that guides my soul,/ through tempests wild and rivers cold,/ i'll brave the depths, defy the night,/ to hold your hand in morning light.

so here i stand, before your eyes,/ with trembling heart, and no disguise,/ to say, my love, in honesty,/ i'd turn for your like orpheus for eurydice.

A/N: what’s your favorite song/ line? my fav is definitely neon nights, because theo wrote it about leo :(

taglist: @7s3ven @madi-potter @shereadsandcries @getosbeloved @mischieftom @wolfstar-jpg @t00thfairy20 @chcrrysblog @aestramjackson @elina3011 @kr1nqu @hopeless-y @mitskiswift99 @fallingblackveils @ahead-fullofdreams @helendeath @schaebickel @chubbychasermattheotruther @punkprincess03 @subparslytherin @girlbooklover555 @sakanelli-afc @cobrakaisb @ellen3101 @simp-for-fantasy @the-sylver-dragon @ess-perspective @starsval

[bbunivxrse]

AHHH I LOVED UR "HATED HIM" GOJO FIC ITS SO CUTEE🥹 I WANNA SEE A PART 2!! im curious will the reader date gojo or js continue to hate him lmao

❥ IMPROVEMENTS - SATORU GOJO

pairing: gojo x f!reader contents: pt 2 to this fic although you dont need to read it to understand this one. no warnings js fluff here !!! word count: 2.5k on the DOT a/n: HII NONNIE IM SSOOO HAPPY U LIKED IT!!! im sorry this took so long ive been busy with work and exams coming up :( hopefully i can post more often soon :((( ANYWAZ ENJOY

so maybe you don’t hate Satoru Gojo. not anymore. since that moment you shared with him, you thought everything would go back to normal, and for the most part it did. well, you think it did, but everyone else saw the changes clear as day.

as time passed, from an outside perspective it seemed like the two of you suddenly had a… “stable” friendship. both “stable” and “friendship” being used very very loosely. although gojo prefered “happy relationship” and “loving marriage”. the yelling matches (you yelling at gojo while he just sits there and smiles like an idiot) that used to occur multiple times daily went down to only once a day, if at all. you didn’t seem to shoo him away as much or rant about how annoying he is. it was almost like you were warming up to him.

if nobody knew what had happened between the two of you it would’ve seemed like a random switch that went off one day, except everyone did know what happened, cuz gojo’s big mouth went and told everyone the next fucking day. to escape being made fun of to no end, you told everyone you only kissed him so he’d shut up and there was no feelings beyond that, which was half true. the other half of you knew that being all bandaged up by him after a mission gone wrong, sitting in his bed while he tells you how much he cares about you, a man who’d usually piss you off and act all goofy. to see him like that was like a breath of really fresh air and kinda changed the way you saw him.

obviously he was still super annoying and pissed you off, but he seemed to finally get the memo and tuned it down so that it was actually manageable. his laugh was suddenly cuter, his face was less punchable and his flirting was almost starting to fluster you. almost. he still made those stupid comments and monologues for waaayy too long but he got a lot sweeter in his teasing and actions. he somehow found out what your favourite foods and places to eat were and bought you food after long days of school, training sessions and missions and took you to places around tokyo on outings “dates”. your friendship with him was finally tolerable. 

waking up on a sunday morning, you hear the sound of buzzing from your phone on your bedside table. 

incoming call from gojo.

its way too early for him to be bothering you already, but you know very well that if you don’t pick up now he’ll keep calling til you do. you silently curse shoko for giving him your number when he asked her, since he already knew you’d say no to him. “what do you want?” you answer his call, putting the phone to your ear as you sit up in bed. “good morning to you too i guess..” you can hear the pouting in his voice. “what are you up to today??” 

“i’m training a bit with nanami and haibara later.” you check the clock on the table, mentally starting to plan when you’re gonna start getting ready to meet the two of them. “nanami!? why would you train with him!? he doesn’t know anything.” he seemed to completely tune out the second name you mentioned

“he knows more than you.” you laugh at his dramatic gasp over the phone, picturing the look on his face. “whateverrrr. you should train with me instead!” 

“no.” 

“what!? why not?? im soooo much better than him!” you can hear the passion in his voice and you begin to wonder how he can have so much energy so early in the morning, especially on a sunday. “please humble yourself, and i already told nanami i’d train with them anyway.” you glance back at your clock, continuing to consider how long you can stay in bed for. “fiiineee. we can train together next time. what’re you doing after that?” 

“after training i’m gonna…” your voice trails off as you think back to earlier this week, trying to recall if you had made any other plans with anyone for today. “not doing anything later. i’m probably gonna go back to my dorm.” you confessed, forgetting exactly who you were on the phone with. “oh so you’re free later? perfect! we sh-“ 

“no, i’m not free. i’m going back to my dorm gojo. and i’m staying there. all day.” you make sure to give him the details of your plan to stay in your room so he doesn’t have any wiggle room to plan anything. “hmmmm.. okay! ill just come over then!” 

“what?? n-“ 

“cyalaterbye!!” you hear the phone beep as he hangs up, now looking down at your lock screen. 'god he’s sooo annoying.'

getting out of bed after looking down at your clock again, you decide you have more than enough time to watch a bit of the show you’ve been catching up on. maybe about two and a half episodes?

checking the time halfway through the first episode, you decide you’re not in the mood to continue watching and you’ll watch a movie instead after training. you get up and begin getting ready for the scheduled training session you had, lightly fixing up your hair so you looked presentable and throwing on your uniform before heading out. 

training with nanami and haibara went well, and you were all surprised gojo didn’t show up to bother you but you figured he was busy with his own thing. coming home you immediately threw your uniform onto the floor and went to take a shower, feeling all gross and sweaty. ‘ill pick it up later.’

you turn the water on, allowing it to get hot before stepping into the shower. you decided to use your favourite body wash that smelled like heaven in a bottle, the scent filling up the entire bathroom and making all the air around you smell like your favourite fragrance. you linger in the shower for a bit, the hot water feeling therapeutic against your skin. once you were done you headed back to your room, throwing on some comfy flared sweats and a random tank top from your wardrobe. looking in the mirror, the outfit was surprisingly cute, and really comfortable.

in a good mood from the nice shower and already feeling pretty after only putting on some  random clothes, you decided to have fun and do some light makeup. maybe you’ll run a few errands later? you were a bit low on snacks at the moment.

finishing off your makeup with a pretty lipgloss, you look in your little snack drawer to see what you had left. some gum, a few candies and one bag of your favourite chips you’re planning to save. maybe it was time to restock. 

you throw on a light jacket and grab your bag, gathering your essentials and getting your shoes on before leaving your dorm. you decided to go to the little convenience store only a few minutes away since they had all the snacks you like. 

within a few minutes you made it to the store, picking out a bunch of snacks and candies you liked. as you were looking at the new flavours of candy they had, the bell by the door jingled as someone entered the store. “y/n!!” you heard a familiar voice behind you. “why are you here?? you said you were staying in your dorm. all day.” gojo mocks the tone you used with him on the phone earlier. “i changed my mind. why are you here?” 

“satoru wanted to get some candy on the way home.” suguru appears from behind him, giving you a smile and a polite wave. “hmm.. they have a nice selection here, what do you think i should get?” gojo puts a hand to his chin as he looks through all the candies. “the sour green apple candy from this brand is really good. and the lemon flavour too, they’re my favourites.” you say as you point to the candies. “then they’re my favourites too,” gojo immediately picks up two of each flavour you recommended, before picking a few other candies he knows you like.

“you do not need all that sweetness. think about your health.” suguru grimaces at the amount of sweets in gojos hands. “i’m not gonna eat all of it! do you really think that low of me? i’m sharing with my girlfriend.” he plops his purchase on the counter for the cashier, smiling down at you “and i’m still coming over,” 

“i didnt agree to that, nor do you have girlfriend.” 

“don’t care,” gojo shrugs as he takes his bag full of your favourite candies, cheerfully skipping out the door followed by you and suguru. the two of you followed as he happily pranced down the street and back to school. 

“you’re really not gonna leave me alone?” 

“nope!” you and gojo stand outside your dorm as he waits for you to unlock the door. you sign at his persistence, grabbing your keys from your bag and opening the door. he had never actually been in your dorm before so this was like a new world to him. “kinda messy in here. you needa clean up a bit y/n” gojo steps inside as if it were his own house, yet looks around at your space as if he were at a museum. “do you ever shut up? and take your shoes off. don’t step on my nice carpet. if it gets dirty i will kill you.” 

“yes ma’am.” he obeyed as if his life was truly in danger. you take off your own shoes, putting your jacket and bag away before plopping yourself on your bed. you watch gojo pace around your small dorm room, picking up random objects to inspect before humming and placing it back down. you know he should be monitored carefully while in proximity of your stuff but you really can’t be bothered to babysit right now and just allow him to stimulate himself.

after a few minutes of replying to missed texts from a few of your friends, you hear gojo sigh, dropping the bag of candy on the floor and placing his glasses alongside the makeup you put on earlier. you realize he hadn’t said a word for those few minutes. “you’re being too silent, what are yo-“ gojo fully drops himself on top of you, his hard head hitting your chest so hard you swear you heard a rib crack. “holy fucking shit you fatass, get off me!! you’re heavy.” you try to push him off you but he doesn’t budge. “but ‘m tired baby,” he whines as he made himself more comfortable on top of you. “i will kill you.” 

“m‘kay..” gojo yawns, wrapping his arms around you. now you’re stuck, great. you honestly didn’t think the word ‘tired’ existed in gojo’s vocabulary since he somehow always has energy. you had never seen him sleep before, which sounds somewhat normal until you remember the overnight trips and missions you and your classmates went on frequently, where gojo never slept. or he never let anyone see him sleep. you didn’t really realize it until now, with him on your chest already seeming close to knocking out.

as much as it annoyed you that you couldn’t get up to eat the candy he’d bought for the two of you to have, you figured if you woke him up he’d just bother the shit out of you until you let him sleep again, and you honestly realize how cute he is when he’s quiet. sighing in defeat, you open up your laptop that you had left on your bed earlier and throw on a movie you had already wanted to watch today. “hm..? what’s that?” gojo mumbles as he’s half asleep. “the movie suguru recommended me the other day. the one about the samurai?” 

“ohhh.” gojo turns his head away from the screen to rest on the other side of his head “that one sucks. and the main character dies.” 

“ugh, spoiler warning next time??” you flick the top of his head as he laughs. you scroll through the selection of movies on the site, humming occasionally while adding interesting movies to your watch later list. eventually you find a random movie that you had never heard of but it looks interesting enough and decide to watch it. the large boy laying on top of you turns his head back to the screen once he hears the new film playing. this time he doesn’t say anything, but you notice his eyes struggling to stay open as he yawns literally every waking minute.

“gojo why don’t you go back to your dorm to sleep? you can barely keep your eyes open,” you giggle at him as he tries to look offended but clearly doesn’t have to energy to. “mn-mm. ‘m watchin… with my wife.” he yawns mid sentence. “well i’m not your wife, soooo…” 

“you are my wife… we’re married… you remember.”  you know he normally only says stuff like that to get under your skin, but sometimes it sounds like he truly believes it, which is a bit scary. you can’t even pay attention to the movie with how hard you’re contemplating to get him off you and in his own bed, but it seems there’s truly no solution. he’s a freakishly tall and muscular man with 100% of his body weight on top of you, so you obviously can’t push him off. and he clearly wont willingly get up, and you know you can’t convince him to get up, so you begin to accept that you might actually be stuck here. 

“ill let you stay if you grab the bag of candy for me,” gojo seems to be too tired to remember that there’s nothing you can do to force him to leave and he easily could’ve refused. he lazily throws the bag onto the bed beside you before plopping himself right back where he was before. “now lemme stay.” you roll your eyes instinctively, grabbing the bag and picking out one of the candies gojo had picked for you. he lets out one last yawn before allowing his tiredness to consume him.

as you open up the sweets and start eating, you look down at gojo. you never really took a moment to actually realize how pretty he really is, and especially how cute he looks while he sleeps. as creepy as that sounds. you think it’s because his mouth is finally shut and he’s not saying the most annoying sentences he can come up with, or constantly blabbering to you about stuff you never asked him about and have no interest in. you honestly didn’t mind this heavy man peacefully asleep on top of you as you eat candy and watch a movie. it was quite nice, actually. maybe you’ll start to allow gojo to do things like this more often. 

i really had no idea how to end this :SOB: but it turned out well i hope. pls send requests btw i have ZERO idea what to write neext

[leclercsloveletter]

CL16 | friends or not (pt 2)

Summary: You love Charles, but he keeps you treading on the line between friends and strangers. The humiliation and frustration finally got to you.

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x fem reader

Words count: 2060

Warning: Google translated French

Author's note: Thank you for your support on my first ever fic here! I’m so shock everyone wanted a part 2 so I stayed up til 4AM for this🫶

Life without Charles is just normal life 90% of the time, other than the fact that you allow yourself to see other people. You wish it was easy to indulge in others after him.

Charles lingers as the silent architect of your thoughts, he made a home in your gut and sucked you dry of the ability to spare anyone else half the intimacy you gave him. The touch of others only serves as a poignant reminder of the electrifying chemistry your body once had with him. So when Lando's rough hand rests on your waist, it weighs like an anvil, sinking you onto the floor of the FIA's gala.

Going out with your somewhat ex's coworker isn't the brightest idea, but Monaco is a small place. Once you get roped up into the circle of drivers and their little games, it's hard to get out with your dignity intact. Besides, Lando was one that you can confidently rely on. He was there and he was listening when Charles decided you weren't worthy of his time. Maybe he was waiting for you to break so he could come in, and snatch you up like a vulture for himself, it doesn't matter anymore.

"Darling, are you alright?"

"Yea I'm good Lando, I'm just dreading a bit"

You appreciate Lando breaking the flow of conversation just to check up on you. He let out a sigh before holding you closer

"Y/n, it's okay. I asked so he would be seated at the other end of the table. I know we aren't a committed item yet and it's not in my position to say this but, be mine for tonight, please?"

He held one of your hands in his, giving it a small kiss. He was so kind, so charming, so convincing that you smile back and nod. Lando leans in for a quick kiss that you reciprocate, ignoring every fibre in your body that's screaming from someone's gaze at the other end of the room.

Charles's and your body are in tune in a mysterious way, so when he walks into the gala with his new girl, the air in your lungs thickens into syrup. With his crisp suit, new haircut, and a girl he seems to care more about, Charles looks like a vessel of the Charlie that once had you. Except for the cufflinks you gave him when he won in F2, you wonder if his girl knew. But you already promised Lando that you would be his for tonight, to give him the undivided attention that anyone deserves from their partner. So you lean in closer to him and let his words flow through your head.

Time passes, the alcohol kicks into your system has dulled out and now waiting to be excreted. You excuse yourself to use the bathroom, someone was in there too.

"Oh hey, you're Lando's girlfriend?"

She was beautiful, elegant, and kind. In a red dress that hugged her body exactly where she wanted it to be, her posture so proper it put ballerinas to shame. A girl worthy of Charles's time.

"That's me, I'm Y/n L/n. I see you with Leclerc?"

"Yeah, I'm Charlotte, nice to meet you."

You shake hands, and although you both look well groomed, nails and hair freshly done, you can't help but feel humiliated by her. You both exchange some words and follow each other on Instagram before she returns to her table and you find a stall to sit in silence. Jealousy is a fitting word, humbled is one too, there were so many noises buzzing through your head at once. You need a smoke before going back into that room.

Paris is cold at night, the jacket hung loosely on your shoulders was supposed to be nothing more than a decoration so you shivered when pulling out a cigarette and lighting it up. You shoot Lando a text so he knows you're fine and just need a break from the event, he replies with "Gotcha darling, stay warm" and a cutesy emoji, you feel bad for him.

"Still haven't quit smoking Y/n?"

Oh that voice, the voice that makes you want to drop everything to punch him in the face and then kiss him through the blood.

"I think I'll be committed to it until it takes me out, Charles."

"So, how's life?"

The 3 words take you right back to that night in Monte Carlo, it wasn't that long ago, but in your misery, it felt like the previous life.

"Doin' pretty well, got me a cute boy. Doing my master's degree right now, new job, new car, what a life."

"You miss me so much you swoop down to date my friend Y/n?"

"Bold of you to assume everything is about you."

You replied sharply, the embers of the cigarette gazing at your fingertips before you threw it over the balcony you were standing on. The audacity he has is astonishing sometimes, you turn to him

"My life before was all about you, everything I did was for you. Now? I want nothing to do with you Leclerc, I'm sorry that your coworker likes me and he actually cares for me when you weren't around."

Charles was frozen to the ground, he didn't expect such an outburst, not that he would ever. You look at him for a moment, stunned that after everything, all the changes and pain you went through, he made no progress. You walk past him to go back inside, not without putting a hand on his shoulder with a sigh

"Charlotte seems nice, treat her well."

-

Lando was shocked when you told him you're moving to Milan to finish up your last year of master's. He was borderline begging for you to stay despite the whole non-committed thing you guys have. It's funny how you ran away from a situationship to have a new one that lasted more than a year, at least this one was healthier.

"Lando hun, I'm sorry. But I can't stay in Monaco for now, I need something else just for a moment. I'll keep in contact yeah? I'll update you on Pierre and Yuki too."

You hold him tight, there are no tears but only a shared understanding that you both won't work out and mostly, he knew you need to get away from Charles. Neither you nor Lando can live under that shadow, it's merciful that you let each other be. Even when you have to deny the attraction you held for the driver. Packing was easy enough, with boxes of stuff already being shipped to Italy and pictures of Pierre unpacking and messing with your decors in the new flat have been sent.

Your phone buzzes menacingly

"I heard you're moving to Milan, safe trip."

"Thank you, Charles, will tell Pierre you said hi."

Even in moments like this, he taunted you. He's everywhere in your apartment, at the same time, left nothing behind but you. You know when the plane lands in Milan, it will be a true new life. Maybe fate will let you live there, somewhere in Sicily or Naples sipping on limoncello and wearing a wide-brimmed hat.

"Motherfucker, Pierre you didn't tell me Milan was going to be hot as hell?!"

"I thought you checked the weather?! Don't blame me?!"

Banter with Pierre flows smoothly, if there is someone who complimented your insanity, it's Pierre. It's scary how he also possessed the ability to read you like a book, Frenchmen have superpowers you guessed. What you didn't expect however was sitting on the balcony of your new apartment over a glass of wine while he questioned your motive for moving to Milan.

"I know you won't just move here if you still can tolerate his existence Y/n. What was the final straw?"

"There was none, Pierre, it's just nothing was working out and I need a change-"

"Ferme ta gueule Y/n, I knew you both too well for you to think I would believe that"

You pull your legs up to your chest, getting cozy on the beanbag before chugging the whole glass of wine. Pierre has been out of the loop so you told him everything, the catch-up dinner when you broke it off with him, the gala where you both brought someone new and that balcony conversation. Even the little ones like him acting so nonchalantly and saying hi to you on the street or the "safe trip" text. Pierre listens without judgement, although if you add your own hesitancy in there, you would deserve every colourful insult he could think of.

"And do you wanna know the funniest thing is? He never realised where he went wrong, he never truly understood why or how. I'm the villain in his story because I broke his heart. Meanwhile, he shattered my fucking entire existence."

"Do you still love him then?"

"I do Pierre, with every breathing moment."

-

You have to go see Monza, Pierre and Yuki basically dragged you there despite your objection of "I will support you at home on TV". So now you're walking around in the hospitality area, munching on some rather good croissants. Pierre shot you a text to come down to the paddock which you reluctantly agree to.

"Come down with us!! @ AlphaTauri paddock right now."

The AlphaTauri paddock is a bit of a walk away, so naturally, you passed by the Ferrari's. Seeing his face plastered on the paddock wasn't a fun experience but it's fine you said. Until the actual model of those pictures caught you off guard.

"Hey"

Every cell on your body screams the fire you thought you diminished lit up like the Olympic torch. You turn around to see Charles in his race suit, painfully beautiful and surprisingly alone.

"Hi Charles, I'm on my way to Yuki and Pierre. Good luck for today."

Before you can leave, he grabs your arm and you let him pull you back. For the first time, he actually tried to hang on to you.

"Uh, I'm free tonight, I want to talk but over dinner of course. Will you?"

Saying no to Charles Leclerc is like forcing you to shoot an elderly lady in the head. It's impossible and unnatural for you to even consider denying him of anything. And it didn't help when he added

"S'il vous plaît?"

Charles was never one to ask you for something with "please". Your body was always given in a heated clash of tongue and teeth, your soul is even worse. But something shook in you, Charles saying "please" like he's begging for you to spare him your time. The time that you deserved.

"Alright, usual time?"

"Usual time"

He won in Monza that day.

-

"So, how's life?"

Same question, every time, like clockwork. But this time you're in Monza, next to some random canal reflecting the city on its ever-moving water.

"I'm sorry"

"You what?"

Charles' words stunned you. You don't know how to feel, isn't this what you were waiting for? Him to be sorry so you can run back into his arms and love him once more?

"I'm sorry for being hot and cold, I'm sorry for leading you on Y/n. I'm sorry for not seeing your side and wasting your youth. I always wanted us but I was stupid to fuck it up. So please-"

"Stop right there."

Charles looks up in shock, his eyes are almost brimming with tears. You release a breath you didn't know you were holding.

"Thank you for apologising, I don't forgive you, Charlie. I don't think I can. So if you're asking me to leave it all behind and act like you didn't throw me down the trenches then don't. However..."

Your heart beats so loudly, that you can feel the blood rushing and the fire coursing through your veins.

"I believe in redemption. So hi, my name is Y/n L/n"

You give out a hand for him to shake, vision starting to blur from tears. Charles stares at your outreaching hand for a moment before grabbing it with speed and strength, as if you would regret it any moment.

"Hi, I'm Charles, Charles Leclerc."

"Like the F1 driver? I think we will be great friends then"

Monza never shines brighter, maybe even more than Monte Carlo.

"I hope so too"

Tag list for this fic: @janeholt3

[pinkyyoshi]

𝐒𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐦𝐲 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐲𝐨𝐮♡︎ (PROLOGUE)

Simon “Ghost” Riley x Reader

18+! ANGST

Syn: Reader grew up as a hopeless romantic, always seeing the brighter side of things and always getting her heart broken. She finds herself falling in love with a man who happens to already be taken and ends up in a fucked up situation.

CW: Self-harm, manipulation, arguing, ANGST ANGST ANGST, profanity, cheating, mommy-issues, drug-use, SA(NOT BY GHOST!)

A/N: hey guys! This is my very first fan fiction and also very first official post on here so I want to apologize for any repetetiveness, grammar, or wordiness in the story, I’ll improve the more I right and I hope I’m being descriptive enough for you guys lol. (Criticism is appreciated!😛)

—————————

You were always such a hopeful girl with big dreams. Head in the clouds, not worried about a thing. You remember always laying down in bed with your mother who would always read you to sleep at night. Going to the library on the weekends and picking out books (always from the romance section). Mom would just smile and chuckle to herself. You never knew that these memories could ever be buried and spat on. Is it your fault for being so naive?

“Mommy?” You called out, peeking around your corner. There sat your mom on the table with a wine glass in her hand. She smiles at you, holding her arm out, calling you towards her.

“What is it sweety?” she says through rosy cheeks.

“When is daddy gonna come back?”

Splash Splash

The sounds of the waves would do. The days couldn’t get any shorter. Work couldn’t get any more tiring. You couldn’t be more alone.

Running sand through the 3 week old nails of your right hand, can of beer in your left. You thought you couldn’t get any more pathetic but here you were sat on the beach not far from the city.

Should I even be here right now?

You should’ve been home some time ago but he called, would he even show up? Sometimes you think mom might have been right…she didn’t need to yell though.

Just as you were about to get up, spinning on your heel, there he was. The reveal was kind of surprising, you think as you cough from all the smoke blown into your face. You can see the smile in his eyes. What the hell?

“S’rry abou’ that. Need a ride?”

You can only chuckle from the fact that he is literally 50 minutes late. You wanted to be mad but you were honestly more embarrassed for letting yourself even wait that long. But nonetheless, you nod your head and the two of you head over to your place and he just might’ve made up for making you wait that night. You counted. He stayed over til the morning this time, he even stayed for coffee! That’s definitely a first. Maybe He truly does care.

Or maybe it’s just wishful thinking.

“You’re so beautiful” He would say, running his rough fingers over your head, caressing you softly. It was like a scene out of a book. Just like the one you read last month about the– well who cares. Simon was leaving soon.

As he was walking out the door, he caressed your cheek, before placing a delicate kiss if you were a set of china.

“I love you so much, my pretty pretty girl. I promise if you just wait for me-” You can’t help but tune him out after. Those are the only words you wanted to hear. You don’t wanna hear about how he has to get back home to his girl or that work was waiting for him.

Your strong little heart could only bear the small things he does for you, anything after that would be too much, knowing what you and also knowing that you couldn’t have him.

The door shuts and reality hits harder than a boulder when you sink back into your messy room. Someday.

(CRITICISM APPRECIATED!!!)

THANK YOU 4 READING

[ghostchems]

a grave date - preview! mary goore x female!reader

a/n: been thinkin on this for a while and finally am writing it. this will be multiple "parts" but all will be posted together as one complete fic. stay tuned! :D

one

One of your New Year’s resolutions is to “embrace the spooky”. You are regretting it now that you’ve decided to take a shortcut through the local graveyard on your way home. The cool air pricks your cheeks, the temperature having dropped drastically once the sun went down. Your hands are shoved deep into your sweatshirt pocket and you keep your eyes on the path in front of you. Another one of your resolutions is to make more time for friends, which is why you’re walking through the graveyard in the first place. One of your closest friends lives within walking distance of your apartment but you’ve barely seen each other over the last year due to busy schedules and lack of effort. Not anymore, though! You’re being social and remembering how much fun it can be to catch up with friends and do activities.

You’ve been a bit of a shut-in — but at the moment, you can’t wait to be back home. Fog clings to the trees and obelisks, dim lights spaced out along your path barely fighting off the dark. There are some urban legends, some completely made up but some based on historical true crime. About fifty odd years ago, a woman was here visiting the grave of her mother and ended up sadly being murdered as she mourned. People talk of sightings, calling her Mother’s Ghost, but that is just a load of local gossip, right?

Right?

“Evenin’! Are ya lost?” You’re just about to spiral when he calls out to you, a lanky arm in the air to catch your attention as you slow your walk to a stop, eyes focusing on him. Oh, lord. He sounded cheerful, polite but your eyes land on his face covered in blood, throwing several red flags up in your brain. You sputter, blinking to make sure what you’re seeing is real.

“I’m trying to get to Hitchcock Ave.” Finally, the words come out in one quick breath. The man comes closer, the faint light allowing you to see him more clearly. He’s lanky, has long legs and skinny arms complete with a sleeveless, ripped t-shirt.

“Ah, you’re already on the right track.” He’s standing about an arms length of you now, scratching the back of his head. You should be afraid of this man but there’s something about his demeanor and the kindness in his voices make you decide to at least hear what he has to say. “If you go a lil’ bit further down the path til’ you reach the crypts and then make a left, the Hitchcock entrance is straight ahead.” He gives you direct eye contact with his cool green eyes while also using his hand to point along with his directions. You don’t say anything, silently digesting his words. His eyes roam your features and his full lips start to tug into a small grin. He lifts his hands up in surrender. “Promise I’m tellin’ the truth. If you have any trouble, you come right back here and I’ll bend over so you can kick my ass.”

You snort. You can’t help it! In no way were you expecting him to say that.

“Alright, alright. Thank you.” You smile at him and his grin only grows. He waves you off as you continue down the path. There are a few times you look back to see him lingering in the same spot, seeing you off at least until you reach the crypts. Who the hell is he? Was he just hanging out in the cemetery? Is he a ghost? You follow his directions and end up right on Hitchcock like he said and something about him helping you out makes your heart flutter.

Still, a strange feeling comes over you for the rest of your walk home.

[harry-styles-obsessed]

Request: all day i’ve been thinking about harry x reader who matilda is about, maybe reader was a fan before they met, they somehow started dating, and i just neeeeed to know your opinion on her first reaction to the song

Omgggg I adore this!! Thank you so much for the request!! I hope this is okay, and what you were looking for!! ❤️‍🩹 apologies for the delay and not writing!! Life has been crazy.

Im sorry but I literally LOVE the line ‘I know they won’t hurt you anymore as long as you can let them go’ thats such a beautiful multilayered thing to say, like- don’t hold onto the people who hurt you… just let them go. Gods it’s so beautiful I can’t 😩🥹

©️ please do not copy or translate my work.

You can let it go

It was safe to say you always struggled with your mental health. You were constantly battling that alongside your family. Your family weren’t the best. Sure they took care of you, but didn’t look after you properly. They didn’t make you feel loved… it hurt you terribly. But then you met Harry and your family became nonexistent. Harry became the light in your life, your happiness, your world, your absolute joy… you remembered the time you told him about your family. How he listened. Holding your hand, bringing it to his lips and kissing it oh so delicately as he nodded occasionally as if to show that he was listening… he actually cared and that broke you yet made you beyond happy all at once, you remembered how frightened you were to open up to him. To tell him that your family didn’t take care of you… that you were lost… but in the end it was the best thing you could’ve done for it opened up the fact that you were struggling. He acted as your life jacket: he saved your life.

You had been a fan of Harry for years, you never thought you’d meet him but you did and well the rest is history… you and him hit it off pretty quickly and immediately began dating but you both kept your relationship with each other out of the public eye. It was easier that way. Privacy was important to the both of you. You were sat in your bedroom that you shared with Harry, the man had been on his phone nonstop and it was starting to really worry you. Sure you struggled with abandonment issues but it wasn’t necessarily your fault. You had experienced nothing but horrendous treatment from your family and it was frankly something you didn’t like to look back on.

“You know you’re kind of freaking me out” you murmur towards him, his emerald green eyes instantly meeting with yours his expression softening “I’m sorry baby… I’m just getting permission for something real quick.” He spoke eyes returning to his phone and you gave him an exasperated look clearly confused and worried all at once. What seemed like hours passed by but really only a couple minutes passed Harry’s lips tugging upwards into a warm smile before he stood up “come with me” he spoke extending his hand out towards you, you quickly taking his hand as he walked with you downstairs and guiding you gently into the living room,

“Sit”

He spoke softly and you sat down watching as he turned on the speaker that was situated just beside the tv, connecting his phone to it “you ready sweetheart?” He glanced at you and you only nodded, still a bit worried and soon enough Harry had set his phone down onto the table coming to sit beside you as a beautiful melodic tune began, echoing from the speaker and wrapping around you like a warm comforting hug your heart suddenly threatening to jump out of your chest… a new song. You licked over your lips anxiously immediately melting into Harry’s side as he held you close his slender fingertips stroking just against your hair as he began pressing soft kisses to the top of your head.

You were riding your bike to the sound of “it’s no big deal.” And you’re trying to lift off the ground on those old two wheels. Nothing about the way that you were treated ever seemed especially alarming ‘til now. So you tie up your hair and smile like it’s no big deal. You can let it go you can throw a party full of everyone you know not invite your family cause they never showed you love, don’t have to be sorry for leaving and growing up.

Tears suddenly brimmed your eyes a shaky breath leaving your lips as you sank further into Harry’s side, your lower lip trembling as he began rubbing soothing circles against your back… he said that the first time you opened up to him. “Don’t worry about them y/n. This is their loss. You don’t have to be sorry for leaving.” A lump formed in your throat as you held onto harry tighter your knuckles turning white from the grip you had on his T-shirt your chest aching,

Matilda you talk of the pain like it’s all alright. But I know that you feel like a piece of you’s dead inside. You showed me a power that is strong enough to bring sun to the darkest days. It’s none of my business but it’s just been on my mind…

A tear trailed down your cheek finally as a sob bubbled from your throat, your head falling onto his shoulder… it reminded you how before you and him started dating he would always ask why you didn’t want to go home… he knew it was none of his business but he was worried about you and it wouldn’t leave his mind. It was beautiful… he had written this song about you. About your troubles. About what made you feel weak. What terrified you… and he turned it into something truly beautiful and it was honestly leaving you awe-struck. He converted your pain from agony and sobbing all through the night in his embrace to something comforting… that it was in fact alright that you didn’t want to waste your time on the family that showed you no love what so ever.

You can let it go. You can throw a party full of everyone you know, not invite your family cause they never showed you love. You don’t have to be sorry for leaving and growing up, you can see the world following the seasons anywhere you go you don’t need a reason cause they never showed you love don’t have to be sorry for doing it on your own. Your just in time make your tea and your toast…

That line was significant to you. You always arrived a little later than expected but always nearly on time at Harry’s house and he would make you tea and toast, every single time, and you’d both have a catch up because you couldn’t leave your home at that time… Harry guided you through the process and helped you leave. He never gave up on you. Never.

You don’t have to go. You don’t have to go home, there’s a long way to go. I don’t believe that time will change your mind. In other words I know they won’t hurt you anymore as long as you can let them go. You can let it go, you can throw a party full of everyone you know you can start a family who will always show you love don’t have to be sorry for doing it on your own. You can let it go you can throw a party full of everyone you know you can start a family who will always show you love you don’t have to be sorry, no….

Your tearful eyes moved to look at Harry who had the same look in his eyes yet he looked so fucking proud. Whether that be pride in his song… or pride in you. “Do I have permission from you to release this song onto my album?” Your lower lip trembled as you nodded your head quickly wrapping your arms around him holding onto him tightly not daring to let go of him as soft sobs left your lips, his large hand stroking up and down your back as he gripped onto you tightly “you can let it go… okay sweetheart?” You didn’t answer, instead holding onto him tighter, not daring to let go your fingers curling into his hair your breathing shaky as your sobs continued escaping your lips. “I love it so much… it’s so beautiful… s-so comforting…” he pressed continuous kisses to your head not letting you go as he rocked you back and forth ever so slightly “I love you so much y/n.” He murmured against your head gently and you smiled weakly, emotions continuing to smash against you rather roughly “I love you so much too Harry… thank you. Thank you for sav-“ “shh. I didn’t do that y/n. You did all of that. You did.” He pulled back looking into your eyes gently pointing one finger against your chest “you, did all of it. You left the home… yet you remained strong. And that was all you.” His hand caressed against your cheek and you smiled lower lip continuing to tremble before you leaned in pressing a kiss to his lips keeping you lips against his “you. Saved. My. Life.” You spoke against his lips before you hugged him again, now sprawled out on his lap his hands rubbing up and down your sides holding you lovingly not daring to let go of you making sure you knew you were loved. Because you were and are so so loved.

Never forget that. You are loved. Never apologise for doing what’s right for you. Love yourselves.

[vicsnook]

Wildest Dreams | Bob Floyd x Reader x Jake Seresin

word count: 2701

warnings: break up, SMUT MINORS DNI 18+ , oral, fingering, sex

song pairing: Wildest Dreams - Taylor Swift

notes: Hi y'all! Hope all is well. I have been on a Hangman kick lately and also with 1989 probably being the next re-recording well this was inspired. Please forgive me for making our sweet Bob not so sweet but I promise we will get sweet Bob back soon. This will have more parts so stay tuned! Please if you don' t mind like and reblog!!! Also thank you for all the likes and reblogs on my previous works, it truly means the world to me.

The breakup was sudden. A string of arguments over phone calls that didn’t last more than 5 minutes were the cause. Bob’s deployment was extended but Nat was shipped back. He was Cobra’s new backseater and with that came new trust issues.

His short or missed phone calls, no texts, and lack of caring came as a surprise. The biggest slap in the face was when he missed your birthday. Everyone at the Hard Deck huddled around the laptop waiting on him to pop up any second yet he never did. That was the night it all was over for you.

You ran out of the Hard Deck trying to hide the tears from the rest of your teammates. Only Jake and Nat knew about the fights and were both surprised at how sweet Bob might have all been an act. You could hear footsteps behind you in the sand as you quickly dried your tears ready to pretend you were fine. 

“I’m okay, I just needed some air,” you said turning around to find Jake headed towards you. “Come on, let's get you out of here,” he said, wrapping an arm around your shoulders as he guided you to his car. You let the tears fall as he drove you home. Jake was one of the only people you trusted and who knew exactly how you felt.

“Want to talk about it?” he asked as he approached a stop sign in your neighborhood.

“It’s over. I’m going to break it off. Not that there’s anything left either way.” 

“Are you sure, Peach? I know things have been really rocky the past couple of months but maybe talk to him first?” he mumbled as he pulled into the driveway.

“There’s nothing to talk about Jake. He didn’t show. I’m done waiting for him when all he seems to care about is Cobra.” your tone was harsher than you expected but it was true. Bob assured you when he was assigned as Cobra’s backseater that it would be strictly professional. Yet the friendly outings blasted all over her social media and Bob’s exasperation whenever you asked were enough for you to come to the conclusion that your relationship was over. 

Jake followed you to your door knowing you shouldn’t be alone. Usually, you’d try to get him to leave but you were exhausted. He watched quietly as you started putting Bob’s things and gifts in a box. 

Nearly an hour later you were finished. The tears came and went but when you closed the top of the box the heartache seemed to worsen. You turned around and walked over to Jake who stood up and engulfed you in a hug as you started to sob.  “Let it all out, sweetheart. I’m here,” he whispered against your head as you cried.

—

Your phone ringing woke you up and as you reached for it the events of last night came reeling back in. The call ended as you stared at Bob’s face on your screen. 3 missed calls and 1 text. 

Clicking on the text you felt your stomach sink as you read it. “We need to talk and I’m so sorry about last night baby. Love you” you stifled back a sob. It was over. His face popped up again as his call came through. Hesitant you answered it anyway. Better to get it over with now.

“Hello?” he said quietly. 

“Hey” 

“Look Peach, I’m really sorry I missed last night” he sighed. “I’ll make it up to you. Work is just really stressful and-”

But you’d heard that before. He’d make it up to you and things would be fine for a while but it would be just a matter of time til it happened again. Cutting him off you ripped off the bandaid. “Stop, please. Bob, it’s over. I can't do this anymore.” 

“No! Peach talk to me please” he pleaded as you ended the call. 

He tried to call again but you didn’t answer this time. Instead, you headed for the shower not even bothering to take your sleep shirt off as you got in. Sitting on the tub letting the hot water soak you as you sobbed. You wanted to go back into your room and answer the phone but you knew it was better this way. He would’ve never broken up with you so it was up to you to take the hint and end it. 

A knock on your bathroom door startled you. “Peach, is everything okay?” said Jake from the other side. He never did leave last night. You figured he slept on the couch and stayed to check on you. “Yeah, I’ll be out in a sec,” you shouted back trying to hide the fact that you’d been crying. “Okay, I’ll be in the kitchen.” the uncertainty in his voice told you he knew you were lying.

You threw your clothes into the dryer that was thankfully in the bathroom then wrapped your towel around you and headed to your room to get dressed. Jake shouted breakfast was ready as you clasped your bra. “Coming!” you shouted back, throwing your Navy sweatshirt on.

“Hey stranger, made you some pancakes,” said Jake as he slid the plate in front of you. Chocolate chip, your favorite.

“You didn’t have to do that Jake,” you replied quietly as he shrugged in response. Your appetite was non-existent but you didn’t want to seem ungrateful so you scarfed down one of the pancakes.

“Bob called. He’s been calling me and Nat all morning.” 

“Did you answer?” you swallowed hard. Hoping he didn’t.

“No,  but have you talked to him?”

Staring down at your plate you mumbled back “Yeah. I ended it and hung up on him.” 

“Oh sweetheart, I’m so sorry.” 

Jake pulled you into a hug before you could even reply. Sticking by you the rest of the day as you dropped off Bob’s things at Nat’s and then watching rom-coms with you that only managed to make you cry even more.

—

Bob tried calling the first week. An abundance of texts sat unanswered on your phone too. He even sent you roses which ended up at Nat’s since you didn’t want them but didn’t want to throw them out. But as the 2-month mark neared he finally stopped. According to Nat, he wasn't on Cobra’s social media anymore and he asked her about you every week but it was too late now. 

He said, "Let's get out of this town

Drive out of the city, away from the crowds”

The sound of Jake’s truck in your driveway snapped you out of your thoughts. He’d been there through it all for you. Making you get out of the house and not letting you drown in sorrow. Today he was taking you to a flea market you’d mentioned at work. It was a 2-hour drive and you tried to get him to reconsider but he just said he loved a good road trip and you knew you couldn’t fight him.

The drive-up was uneventful and you couldn’t deny Jake’s playlist was great. Singing along to Jolene as he pulled into the parking lot. “Wow this place is huge,” you mumbled. 

Jake smiled up at you as you walked the booths. His arms holding your new books. You turned around suddenly bumping into Jake when you realized you passed the records booth. He grabbed your waist to prevent you from falling.

He's so tall and handsome as hell

His green eyes were on yours as he towered over you. You couldn't help the butterflies in your stomach as you shook your head to snap yourself out of the trance and then quickly headed toward another booth. 

—

As you and Jake ate that afternoon at a little cafe on the side of the road you couldn't help but stare at his handsome features. A couple of times he made funny faces when he caught you staring and you tried to shake off the feeling you got when he did.

Standing in a nice dress

Staring at the sunset, babe

Walking back to the truck you stopped to take a picture of the sunset. The breeze ruffling your blue sundress. Jake ran ahead of you and opened the truck door for you. Standing in front of him, as he towered over you, your eyes flickered down to his lips.

Red lips and rosy cheeks

“I like your red lipstick,” he whispered. You looked down as your cheeks blushed but his fingers lifted your chin to look up at him. Before you could overthink it you pulled his shirt and pulled him down to you, pressing your lips to his as his hands reached for your waist. The kiss was slow and it felt natural as his tongue tangled up with yours. 

When you finally parted to breathe, he tucked a strand of your hair behind your ear. “I’m sorry if I overstepped” you mumbled to him as you turned to get into the truck. “I’m not sorry,” he replied as he rounded the truck and got in.

 Jake grabbed your hand as you got on the highway back to Miramar, a comfortable silence had settled between y’all. Only being interrupted when he pulled into your driveway and you asked if he wanted to come in.

Setting down your books on the coffee table, Jake excused himself to the bathroom. Your mind still reeling from the kiss. Your heart still ached for Bob but you couldn't deny the feelings that had recently come to the surface as you started to hang out more with Jake.

You turned on the tv and put on Game of Thrones which was Jake’s favorite then headed to the kitchen and poured two glasses of red wine. “That for me?”  he asked as he came and grabbed the glass for your hand and quickly pecked your lips. “Yes, I uh also put on Game of Thrones. We can watch something else though if you want.” you rambled as you followed him out of the kitchen and then settled on the couch.

“Nah, this is perfect” he replied as he stretched and placed his arm on your shoulders, pulling you closer to him. Jake was very into the show but you couldn't concentrate on anything other than the fact that he’d kissed you twice today and now it was nearly midnight and he was still here. On the one hand, you didn't want him to leave but you also didnt want whatever was happening to progress quickly and ruin your friendship.  “Hello? Earth to Peach?” he said breaking you out of your thoughts.

“Sorry, what were you saying?”

“I said it's getting late, maybe I should go,” he stared at you waiting on a response. You eyed the wine on the coffee table now empty. Not wanting him to drive home under the influence you responded “You’ve been drinking, it’s okay if you stay.” 

“Peach, I’m okay really. I don't want to overstay my welcome.”

“No, please. Stay.” your lips crashed into his before he could say anything else. The kiss started slow but it turned more passionate as you moved to straddle his lap. His hands were on your ass as your tongues fought for dominance. You pulled away and slowly got up, holding his hand as you guided him toward your room. 

I said, "No one has to know what we do"

His hands are in my hair, his clothes are in my room

“Are you sure about this, Peach?” he mumbled while kissing your neck. You nodded in response as a moan escaped your lips when he pulled your hair. “Use your words, Peach.”

“I’m sure” you whispered as he laid you down on the bed and climbed on top of you. You pulled his shirt up and ran your hands across his abs as he kissed you, only pulling away to take his shirt off. His right hand squeezed your breasts as you desperately kissed him. Your body jolted with every touch. There was no denying being touch starved from Bob’s long deployment might have influenced this to happen so quickly but as he kissed your thighs your mind went blank. 

And his voice is a familiar sound

Nothing lasts forever

But this is getting good now

“Can I eat you out?” Jake mumbled against your thigh. “Yes,” you panted as he slowly took off your underwear and threw it somewhere with the rest of his clothes. He sucks on your clit and your fingers grasp for his hair as your moans fill the room. He pulls away and licks a stripe from your entrance to your clit, his green eyes piercing through yours as you moan his name. “You like that, honey?” he says as he thrusts one finger in you and you feel your legs start to shake. 

He adds another finger and hits your g-spot as he sucks on your clit. Your legs tighten around his head as he starts to go faster. Your vision goes white with pleasure as your legs start to shake while you come in his mouth as he continues to finger you through your orgasm. “You taste so good baby” Jake mutters as you start to come down from your high. 

You taste yourself on his lips as he kisses you. He pulls away to take off his jeans as you take off the sundress and chuck it on the floor. Quickly his lips are back on yours as you grab his bulge and he groans in your mouth. Your fingers tug at the waistband of his boxers and as you pull them down you grab his cock. Slowly stroking it as he pulls the boxers all the way off.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Peach?” he asks once more as you kiss his neck. “Yes, Jake” you respond and so he reaches down to his pants on the floor and pulls a condom out of his wallet. He quickly puts it on and as he rubs his cock against your entrance you wrap your legs around him and pull him to you. Moaning his name loudly as he begins to thrust slowly into you.

 “Faster, Jake” you whine as he starts to quicken up the pace. He lowers his right hand down to rub your clit as he thrusts into you. You kiss him desperately as you feel yourself getting close. His left hand squeezing your breast. “I’m close” you moan and that sets something off in Jake and he begins to thrust faster and harder into you.

Screaming his name you feel yourself coming and he comes too as your cunt tightens around his cock. Holding on to you as you both come down from your highs. He slowly pulls out and chucks the condom into your bedside trashcan. Laying beside you he pulls you to his chest as you throw your leg over him. Both of you drifting off to sleep.

— 

You'll see me in hindsight

Tangled up with you all night

Burning it down

Monday rolls around too quickly and Jake has been at your apartment since Saturday night. He leaves early that morning to get to work before you and at work, you both act like nothing happened since you didnt want the team to know. Worried about what they might say.

Jake winks at you as you head for the showers and your mind wanders back to last nights steamy shower with him. You hurry while getting dressed and practically run to your car and when you pull into your street you see the familiar truck in the driveway. As you park next to him he gets out of the truck and rounds your car to open your door. Making you giggle as he throws you over his shoulder.

But before he can walk to your door a car door shuts behind you and when you lift your head to see who it is, it's the one person you were not prepared to see again.

Bob.

Say you'll see me again

Even if it's just in your wildest dreams

(click here to read pt 2)