#I’m trying guys
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Antics After Dark
~You and Tam are at Foxfire for late-night shadowflux training with Lady Zillah, back to your usual hall-roaming shenanigans. Though, you can’t help but notice Tam seems to feel a bit differently.
{Reader is: relatively neutral; a Shade; shorter than Tam; implied to be from Forbidden Cities. {Timeline: when Sophie and Fitz are in the Healing Center after Umber’s attack
{Tropes: friends to lovers, mutual pining, confession, training tension {Warnings: kissing, some swearing, mentions of violence (from the Neverseen), mentions of Reader having a scar from a previous fight, slightest bit of angst
{Word Count: 2195
“[Y/N], I’m serious!” Tam’s face betrayed his words, whitened teeth breaking out into a smile, a shine of mischief and maybe something else in his silvery eyes—a look that you could’ve sworn added another thousand years to your indefinite Elvin life. “Lady Zillah might actually get upset this time.”
“Come on, Tam,” you pleaded, tugging his sleeve gently. “We’re technically not doing anything wrong. As long as we find some shadowflux before we come back, we’re fulfilling our training —this is just a little… detour.”
The two of you have once again been sent out to seek the most potent patches of shadow in Foxfire’s halls, needing to further familiarize yourselves with using the unruly element of shadowflux. As a cure for the boredom and tiredness of late nights on campus, you two have gotten into a routine of wandering a little on your own — occasionally finding your way into the teacher’s lounge and accidentally snatching a few snacks.
“Little? We took well over twenty minutes last time.” The boy shoved his hands into his pockets, squaring his jaw in resistance to the smile tugging at his lips.
“Okay, well, we won’t get lost this time,” you said, though you knew it was basically guaranteed with the sheer size of the school.
Tam raised an eyebrow. “You say that every time.” He closed his eyes, letting out a short sigh. “With everything happening, we need to focus more than ever. We’re the only people in the group who might have a damn chance against the Neverseen’s Shade, I just don’t feel like we should be messing around.” The boy’s eyes met yours again, and you could see the sincerity in his gaze—something rare for him. However, there was something else there too.
You sucked in a breath. “Alright, what’s wrong?”
“I- nothing’s wrong, I just thing we need to start taking this seriously.” Tam ran his hand through his black hair, his bangs falling back into his eyes.
“Are you hearing yourself?” You crossed your arms. “In the almost two years I’ve known you, you’ve barely ever cared about taking shit seriously. Something else is going on with you.”
He broke eye contact, glancing to the side. “I don’t know, I guess I’m just sick of watching everybody get hurt,” he conceded, his voice lowered to a softer tone. He didn’t meet your eyes, his stare locked on the ground. A few seconds of a tense silence passed. “And anyway, the less time we waste here, the faster we can both leap home and get some rest, yeah?”
“I don’t rest anymore, Tam. I’ve been perpetually exhausted for weeks. I hardly ever sleep these days, and I know you don’t either.” Your voice was strained, and your nails dug into the fabric of you cape. Before he could respond, you kept going. “You think I’m not taking this seriously? I’ve been taking this seriously for over two years, since I got into this in the first place. The Neverseen is screwing us all over, and fifteen minutes running around instead of looking for an element that hardly listens to us anyway isn’t going to change that.” You took a few shaky breaths, heat rushing to your face in realization of what you’d just said, how immature it must have sounded. “Forget it. You’re probably right. We need to focus now more than ever, I don’t know what I was thinking. We’ve found enough shadowflux, we should head back—”
“Don’t,” Tam cut you off, stepping forward. His silver-blue eyes scanned your face, landing on the dim bags beneath your own. “Lady Zillah can wait like every other night. Come on, you need this.”
You hesitated, resting your own hand atop the one holding your arm. “Tam, you don’t have to do this, I know you really want to stay on track.”
The boy turned to face you, loosening his grasp ever so slightly. “I want to do this. You’re right, we deserve a little fun.” Leaving you no time to protest, he grabbed your wrist gently and nodded down the hall. “I’m pretty sure there were some extra Mooncakes in the Mentors’ Lounge.”
He knew the pastry was irresistible to you, one of your favorite elvin foods. With a sigh, you agreed.
“Thank you,” you whispered. “We’ll be back on task in fifteen, promise.”
Tam grinned as he practically dragged you forward, your stumbling footsteps and soft giggles echoing down the maze of halls.
~
“Damn, that was so worth it.” Tam closed his eyes, swallowing his last bite. “I don’t know why I thought of skipping this.”
You covered your mouth as you laughed, walking alongside him in the dim hallway. “I’m sorry I was kind of selfish back there. I guess I was just tired of… well, everything that’s been going on, really. Just wanted to get away from it all for a little, ya’ know?”
“It’s not selfish to need a break every once in a while. You’ve risked life and death for everybody on this team, you deserve a breather. And maybe a snack.” He glanced down at you, nudging your side gently. His eyebrows furrowed as he looked a bit closer. “Wait.”
“Hm?” Your body went tense as he brought his hand to your face, quickly brushing a crumb off of your lip with a swipe of his thumb. He paused, your eyes meeting for a few heartbeats. “Uh… thanks,” you mumbled, releasing a breath at the absence of his touch.
“Mhm,” he hummed. Though the lighting made it hard to tell, you swore you could see a hint of pink dusting his cheeks.
The two of you walked slower in a comfortable silence, content to just be in each other’s presence for a little while. It was another few minutes before Tam spoke up again. “And I’m sorry I’ve seemed so tense lately. I’m just sick of everybody getting hurt. ‘m sick of watching you guilt yourself for being ruthless in training, then going off and nearly sacrificing yourself at every chance you get when the Neverseen show up…” The boy trailed off as his gaze made its way to your shoulder.
It was hidden by your tunic, but you knew he was looking at the scar left when you hit the ground during the Neverseen’s last run-in. You couldn’t help but grimace at the reminder, the bruised spot on your arm still slightly aching. The mark might never fade. “Is that what this is about? Tam, I’m fine. Stop worrying about me.”
“You know I can’t do that,” Tam whispered, so softly it’s a wonder you caught it. “You know I can’t stop worrying about you, because I can’t stop thinking about you.” The words tumbled out of his mouth like a bullet train, his face going scarlet as he seemed to realize what he’d just said. Both of you slowed to a halt in your steps. “I-I’m sorry, that just came out… I—”
“Tam.” You turned to look up at him. “I know,” you whispered.
Tam swallowed, nodding hesitantly. He pivoted to face you. “Then, can I…?” His voice lowered to a near-whisper, his tone laced with… vulnerability. “I’ve wanted to tell you, like, forever, but there was just never a good time, and…” His eyes met yours, and for a moment, all his words faded away.
You nodded, wringing your hands. “You can tell me now. I’m listening.”
The boy took a cautious step forward, as if he was testing whether you’d move away. When you didn’t, he stepped closer, taking both your hands in his. “Okay. Then… I’m just gonna leave everything here.
“I’d run around these halls every night with you to see you happy for a few minutes; I volunteer to spar with you all the time just for how damn proud you look when you improve, when you pin me like it’s nothing; I could listen to you go on about your favorite human thing for days.”
Your eyes locked with his, and your heart skipped a beat at the intensity in his silver-blue stare.
“I’m praying on all I have that I’m not misreading this, but I swear there’s something in the way you look at me, too.”
He wasn’t wrong. You couldn’t help it. No matter how attractive elves were as a whole, you’d never get used to just how pretty this boy was.
“I know it’s stupid, I know we have bigger problems — but I don’t care. I look at you, and you’re all that’s happening. I really like you, [Y/N]; and I’m sorry if that makes our friendship awkward, but I don’t want to just be friends.” Tam’s voice had a slight rasp to it, a crack in the crystal, showing he was far more scared about this than he wanted you to believe.
You looked down at where his hands held yours. Heat ran down your neck, and you attempted to will away the anxious sweat. “I… like you, too.” Your voice came out shakier than you would’ve liked.
He let out a breath, his eyes seeming almost dazed. “Okay… okay. That’s good. That’s…okay, yeah.” He laughed softly, a nervous sound. “I honestly didn’t plan to get this far.”
A smile pushed its way through your teeth as you listened to his hesitant words. You ran your thumbs gently over the back of his hands.
“Can I try something? I mean, you can say no, I just–”
“Of course,” you cut him off, your voice soft, but more sure of yourself.
He blinked — once, twice — as if processing your consent. “Oh. ‘Kay, great. Um…” Screw it. He finally decided to desert any attempt for words, letting impulse take the lead as he leaned down and pressed his lips to yours.
It was gentle, soft; but you could feel the wall of emotion behind each careful movement. His hands let go of yours, coming to rest at your waist. You grazed his cheek with your knuckles, part of you almost scared to make any drastic movements, scared this would all shatter if you held on too tightly. It was a short kiss — over too quickly. You gasped as he pulled away, cold air meeting your lips and snapping you back to reality.
“Was that okay?” Tam whispered, his tone growing in confidence. His eyes sparkled, his chest rising and falling with each slow intake of air. A smirk tugged at the side of his mouth as he scanned over your face.
“Yes, yeah, that was… amazing.” Your face was still warm from the contact, heart pounding in your chest with the thrill. “Can I kiss you again?”
“Fuck, yes.” His face reddened as the words fell from his lips, dripping with desperation. “I mean… sure, if- if you want…” He glanced away, silver bangs falling just over his eyes.
The eagerness caught you a little off guard coming from him, but you happily took the invitation. You placed your thumb on his jaw, turning his head back to look at you. Arms coming up to wrap around his neck, you pulled him down into another kiss.
His arms snaked further around your waist, tugging you closer with a sort of urgency he’d never shown before. Before you could register the movement, you felt the chill of smooth metal through your tunic; your back was to the lockers, one of Tam’s forearms beside your head, caging you in. The other remained just above your hip, fingertips trailing lazily along your back.
You pulled away for a moment of air —
“Tam! [Y/N]!” Linh’s voice echoed down the hall. “You guys done yet? Lady Zillah said it’s been more than enough time to work with whatever you’ve found,” she called. Her voice sounded relatively far away, but if she was shouting distance, you didn’t have much time.
“Right,” Tam muttered, stepping back with a shuddering breath. “Almost forgot what we were here for.”
You took a few deep breaths to catch yourself, but you could still feel heat rise to your face when you looked at him again. “So… what now?” you whispered, smoothing out your top and hair.
“Can I be yours?” he said abruptly, pushing his hair out of his eyes. “Your boyfriend, your partner, whatever you want to call me, just yours. It won’t interfere with beating the Neverseen. We won’t get sidetracked, and we don’t have to worry about the Neverseen using us against each other, ‘cause they’re after us already either way. Besides, neither of us have ever cared about the stupid Match anyway.”
“Yes.” You didn’t hesitate in your answer, a laugh of disbelief shaking your shoulders as you took in the boy before you. “I’d love to be your girlfriend.”
Tam smiled, and in that moment, it was the most beautiful thing you’d ever seen. Without another word, he leaned forward, giving you a soft peck on the nose. “Well, that’s settled. Come on,” he beckoned, “before Lady Z yells at us again.”
Your fingers linked with his, your heart synced to your echoing steps as you strode back down the hall.
For the first time in weeks, you slept through the night.
── ・ 。☆*☽*☆゚.──
Thanks for reading <3
#kotlc#tam song#okay so maybe it wasn’t don’t yesterday#I’m trying guys#tam song x reader#tam kotlc x reader#tam kotlc#kotlc tam#x reader#kotlc x reader#keeper of the lost cities
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your mom
Callie: Maybe they’re talking about Radio.
Seth: The mod?
Callie: I don’t know anymore.
#maybe if i do it in color people will be more interested and send me asks#said the mod hopelessly#i’m trying guys#mod speaks#dhmis#dhmis oc#dhmis ocs#dhmis fanart#dhmis askblog#dhmis art#acas#ask callie and seth#callie the clarinet#seth the stethoscope
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Everyone posting happily -
Me staring at the 5 WIPs in my drafts: “why aren’t you writing yourselves ?!”
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Hello I love your writing!!!! Just that thank u.
AHHH THANK YOU! 💕💕💕💕💕💕❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Literally you guys have no idea how much kind words like this really mean to me. I often lose motivation and stuff so this really makes me happy. 😊
I have another gabenath fic in the works currently so that should be out soon (probably by the end of Sunday or Monday at the latest) that I hope you all enjoy. I do really try my best when I write these fics and I’m glad to hear that you guys actually enjoy them!
#thank you#this is so nice#so sweet#miraculous ladybug#gabenath#fanfiction#writing#nathalie sancoeur#gabriel agreste#gabriel x nathalie#mlb gabriel#mlb nathalie#mlb shipping#motivation#loss of motivation#i’m trying guys#i’m sorry#I’ll try to post more often#gabenathship#gabenath fanfic#gabenathfanfiction#gabenathnation#miraculous gabenath#gabenathsurpremecy
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Dantdm save me
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A couple of practice doodles I made this weekend. They’re Not Great, but I made them just to see if I can still draw humans at all.
I guess I kinda can.
I’m still struggling with my life to try and figure out how to make my shading style less airbrushed. It’s been stuck like that for like the past 3-4 years.
Maybe I’ll make some more this week and try some new methods.
#dracula#dracula fanart#bram stokers dracula#practice doodles#good omens#good ineffable omens#crowely#snakeyedemon#i’m trying guys
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Finally opened commissions.
If you like my style or you wanna ask about anything contact me (you can use the link to get to my artistree)
https://artistree.io/dollzeyezlove
I’m tagging a lot to this because I want to get maybe a few
#my art#digital art#art#original art#oc#helluva/hazbin oc#helluva imp#helluva hellhound#original character#art commisions#small artist#advertising my art#I’m trying guys
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pussy so good it makes me go. uwa!!!! (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ*:・゚✧
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It’s sad boy Tim Drake hours!
#tim drake#tim deserves so much love#and I’m not going to give it to him#i was inspired#dc batman#red robin#tim drake robin#timothy drake#fanart#I’m trying guys#batfam#tim drake fanart#red robin fanart#batman fanart#fandom#light angst
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tumblr you need to stop because i don’t have the brain capacity to reread tsh right now
#the secret history#tsh#literature#richard papen#i’m trying guys#i just love it so much#but it is such a daunting read
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New Angel fic chapter tomorrow. Maybe
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btw if you’re wondering why i’m only reposting art uhhhh
i started school a while back and i actually have to lock in this year so :3
i don’t have free time to draw anymore 😞😞
#i’ll draw sometime during winter break maybe???#we’ll see bro i’ll be busy by then too 😭😭#i post doodles on my insta alt stories#and that’s the most i can do#😭😭#i’m trying guys#viis rambles
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I spent like three hours making this
#I am NOT tagging all of these#but I’ll try I guess#destiel#ineffable husbands#pearlina#sasunaru#homumado#sonadow#is that rigth#I bet the ace attorney guys have a insane ship name#lawlight#shuake#<- I’m just googling them now#soriel#frowise#???????#sidlink#taakitz#bubbline#vrisrezi#hannigram#qcard#komahina#bowuigi#royai#batjokes#cuttletavio#hardenshipping#okay I’m done
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Was talking about the Fairy VS walrus poll with some friends which led to "but what about a walrus dressed as a fairy?" and so this was born 😌
#Fairy#walrus#fairy walrus#Walrus fairy#fairy vs walrus#walrus vs fairy#Fairy Vs walrus poll#walrus vs fairy poll#idk how to tag this so I’m trying every combinations I can think of don’t mind me lmao ✌️#My art#art#jeida-chi#burntblueberrywaffles#Enjoy my little guy
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