#I’m stupid ok

[ponkydraws]

DEAR ETSY SELLERS;

Please, please, please, if you sell things such as stickers, pins or the like, please add at least one picture of said product in relation to your hand. I am tired of having to guess if the sticker will fit my already sticker ridden iPad or if I’ll be left with a sticker too big and nowhere to put it. I know you include measurements but I have dyscalculia and having to fetch a ruler to try to figure out the dimensions is slowly killing me. Please. Do us stupid ppl a favor and include a pic of you holding it in your hand. Thank you. Statement ends.

[thinkingabout-girls]

this is my confession as an artist

[valentinerevenge-666]

Nobody told me the whole writing and producing music thing would be hard like what the fuck

[whosbian]

[frownyalfred]

to clarify for the new chapter of dead man’s party since I keep getting comments on it (and on the last chapter): yes Jason is Red Hood, so he works with strippers and respects them. yes, he grew up around working girls like that and is familiar with strippers/dancers/etc. AND, all those things can be true and he can still get flustered the first time his post-Pit ass sees a stripper clap their heels in his face and try to show him her G-string. being familiar with the game in theory doesn’t make you less susceptible to it!

the whole point of that fic is that he came back as badass Red Hood, but despite being bigger and grown up after the Pit, he still missed out on some important development emotionally. he shoots people but he gets flustered by the idea of a lap dance. yes! both can be true at the same time. and trying to pretend you’re not missing that chunk of development is what gets Jason into a lot of trouble in that fic. when he tries to play along and prove that he’s not missing it, and no one around him is any the wiser, he only ends up hurting himself.

[mumblesplash]

guys please we can NOT restart ace discourse rn there’s still sex scene discourse residue everywhere it’s gonna make mustard gas

[legolambi]

hi im on a mission to stop giopara from being tall this is my truth

[theythemmer]

Parted from me and never parted. Never and always touching and touched.

[myokk]

Guess which outfit I wore on my only public outing to the grocery store today and what I’ve been wearing to draw outside, clean like crazy, and give my dogs a spa day😭😭

Plus my studio ghibli redraw of Seb and Eloise🥹🥹🥹 they look like BABIES😭♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

[scramratz]

Ugh I just can’t find the right name to replace my current one :( guess I’ll be a guy named Opal

[youwantamcdonaldbeautiful]

worlds most stupid yuri square I came up with for an au. yue and azula are in a Semi. Arranged marriage.

[bluestarlett]

love is in the air? Wrong! Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

love is in the air? wrong! garlic powder

[tempestmothstorm]

crazy how the sanshee plush is one of the few actual direct confirmations on what a non-act 2 Natsuki’s home life is like because of how cagey she is on literally everything. Like this isn’t anything surprising or something you wouldn’t be able to extrapolate from the games but unlike everything else we know about her the implications are right there on the tin.

They literally did the character bio trope where where all the likes are normal but the dislikes are about their very specific trauma it’s just so funny they did that on the plushie card

[save-the-villainous-cat]

may I request a really really really smart villain. but somehow the hero manages to outsmart them, and even though villain is completely dumbfounded, they find it incredibly hot???

gl, if you wish, but im fine with anything !!

“You’re scared,” the villain whispered. “I know what that feels like. I know what it can do to a person.”

Their fingertips traced the hero’s clavicle gently, as if they attempted to calm a startled deer by stoking it.

“It’s not a pleasant emotion. It certainly isn’t one anyone should be used to. So I’m curious, do you need my help?” the villain said. Their eyes scanned the hero curiously. Almost as if they could absorb everything about them just by looking at them.

Something about the hero seemed to pull them in, something seemed to fascinate them on a grand scale and the hero couldn’t tell if they loved the challenge or the attention.

“Would you mind?” the hero asked. They nodded towards the villain’s fingers on their body and clearly, the villain received their message. They pulled away and smiled. Curiosity seemed to be their big weakness.

“I apologise, of course. I’m fond of pretty things.”

“As every crow is.”

“That’s a compliment.” The hero didn’t answer. They knew the villain was toying with them; they were fully aware of their sweet words and their kind smile.

The villain wasn’t easy to understand and that was a big problem in this whole mess. Incompetent people proposed a threat to the city because of their lack of intelligence. They weren’t easy to understand, they were unpredictable.

Usually, the hero could argue with smart people, could get into their minds and understand their motives but the villain was a complete minefield. Their unpredictability came from several unrelated plans that intertwined and altogether made up a whole picture.

They were ten steps ahead. Always.

Suddenly, a missing professor, a burning bakery, a sick child and a stolen book were parts of a chain that would make sense to the hero much, much later. Ordinary things could play huge parts in these reaction chains, something they liked to call “controlled butterfly effect”. It made the hero think of all the details, all the little crimes in the city. It made them overanalyse every little conversation they had with the villain.

Was the villain giving them clues?

Was there a way to decipher these riddles?

How could anyone be at ten different places at the same time?

How was it possible to get information you’d have to torture out of people without actually talking to anyone at all?

“I’ll have to change my address for the third time this month,” the hero said. “You should apologise for that as well.”

“It’s not my fault you make it so easy for me.” The villain looked around the hero’s living room and in some weird and strange way, the hero felt superior to them, now that everything was done. It would’ve been foolish to say they were relieved. In fact, the villain was right. They were terrified. “New choice of plants, I see. You like orchids?”

“Why exactly are you here?” the hero asked. They assumed the villain knew about yesterday. They also assumed the villain was here to talk about that. “So you can make fun of me? Humiliate me in my own home?”

“Without an audience? Please, I thought you knew me.” The villain’s eyes found the hero’s again after what they deemed to be enough observation.

“You like it more intimate. You like it when it’s just us.” Now, the villain looked intrigued.

“Touché,” they said, almost as if the hero had defeated them with a single word. The hero wished it had been that easy.

“Again. Why are you here?” The hero crossed their arms in front of their chest. It was getting quite chilly in just a shirt and underwear.

In response, the villain took in a deep breath and sat down on the hero’s couch. They lounged.

“When Hannibal crossed the Alps, do you think he was scared? I mean, all that responsibility on his shoulders? It was dangerous, he could’ve lost his entire army.”

“Is this supposed to be some metaphor for me being Hannibal and you being…what? The Roman Republic?” the hero asked. Sometimes, it was laughable where the villain’s mind went. It was hard enough to keep up with them already but the amount of knowledge the hero acquired from talking to them alone was insane.

It was the type of learning experience that required failing repeatedly to get to the answer. The hero didn’t enjoy it.

But the villain only chuckled.

“I was trying to say that being determined and scared can coexist. You did something that demands great courage.” They tilted their head. “And yet, it is a very scary thing.”

With slow steps, the hero approached them until they were close enough. They sat down on the villain’s lap. Unsurprisingly, their nemesis didn’t protest.

They weren’t proud of what had happened, they weren’t proud of what they’d done.

“How can a person obtain information no one dares to whisper?” the hero asked. “How can that person receive it within seconds?”

“You tell me,” the villain said. An invitation. It would’ve been illogical to decline.

“You had two helpers. Someone who can teleport. Someone who can turn invisible. I don’t know how you convinced them but they were heroes once.”

The villain nodded.

“The Romans had to learn the hard way how important spies are. They learnt it from the Carthaginian. Like I learnt from you years ago,” the villain said. It was difficult to imagine that all this was the hero’s fault. “Now, tell me what you did when you found out.”

The hero was quiet until the villain’s palm brushed their thigh softly. The villain seemed unfittingly euphoric.

“I knew they wouldn’t be easy to keep in a cell.”

“So?”

“So I killed them.” The villain nodded.

“You killed them,” the villain agreed. “Did you know crows wait for other predators to tear open their prey?”

The hero waited. The villain wasn’t angry. They were fascinated. It hadn’t even occurred to the hero that this was the solution up until yesterday.

And still, even though this was a major success when it came to stopping the villain, it wasn’t satisfactory. Killing two of their own people hadn’t been pretty.

“Did you know curiosity killed the cat?” the hero asked back. Behind their back, they clenched their fist to stop their hand from shaking.

Within seconds, several red laser dots pointed at the villain. With the hero on their lap, pressing them into the couch, there wasn’t anywhere to go. The sharpshooters wouldn’t let the villain move a muscle.

And behind the shocked expression, the hero saw something they weren’t sure if they loathed or liked: a certain admiration for only them.

[magpie-trove]

My biggest pet peeve is being perceived as naive because I believe something good. I’m not otherwise a static and constant ball of anxiety and distrust for this.

[orb0]

Dragon saying a child is a parent's weak spot.

Crocodile a fucking warlord taking that literally and being beat by some fucking kid (his child)