#I’m still so fucking tired from it
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Experienced the worst period cramps I have ever had at two this morning.
#I’m still so fucking tired from it#I was up for like an hour#I had woken up at like 1 or something in a flop sweat that I was really confused by and then went back to bed#they made me feel so incredibly nauseous and I genuinely couldn’t think because of them#I’ve never had them that bad and my actual period won’t start until tomorrow or Wednesday
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Sword PHIGHTING! period cramps moodboard
Gods mightiest warrior…….
Og image:
ANYWAYS EXTRA BITS!!!! So. Yeah. I wasted exactly 27 hours and 29 minutes of my life making this over a period of like. ~a week and a half LMAO????? I THINK IT WAS LONGER?? Yeah all of these are completely redrawn from the Og “panels”, replicating the dungeon meshi style is. MISERABLE I don’t know why I did this to myself holy fucking shit, all of you blame @squiffer-salad for this monstrosity she’s the reason why this exists in the first place /silly
anyways, I highly recommend looking at the panels individually because I put a lot of fun extra bits in them and just. A LOT of effort in general, any likes, reblog’s, or comments are insanely appreciated since this did take such a long time :’DDD, everything in these minus the backgrounds are completely redrawn/shaded/and colored by hand, this includes mid/screen tones as I used specific layers for those! anyways thank you for coming to my period cramp projection ted-talk I’m going back into my Everglade hole.
#JESUS FICKING CHRIST#WHEN I SAY#27+ HOURS#DUDE…….#FOR A SHIT POST….. THIS IS INSANE…… WHY DID I DO TJIS TO MYSELF#ANYWAYS now that I’m free from this fucking BEAST of a project I’m going to be working on a lot more comms/personal bits since I have much#More free time on my hands!#School is still kicking my ass but at least I’ve been doing well :3#Scored a 10/10 on a AP world test today! Probably gonna end up failing my math unit exam but oh well wouldn’t be the first /silly#Anyways for some smaller extra comments#I honestly don’t really know how I managed to commit to this if I’m gonna be real#This honestly was more of a test of endurance if anything and I think it came out really well especially since I’m not used#To spending THIS much time on a single piece#It taught me a lot too#Specifically more about midtone layers and different types of line art and such#Anyways yeah I am. So horrendously tired#More art soon though! I got stuff in the oven for reals!!!#art#phighting!#phighting#phighting fanart#digital art#phighting roblox#artists on tumblr#phighting art#roblox phighting#roblox#roblox art#roblox fanart#roblox game
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The hero and the warrior were like the sun and the moon. (Spoiler: They mean gay.)
(Sketches & stuff under the cut)
Sketch 1 & 2
Line art, BKG, & shading layer cause it’s cool
#lmk#lego monkie kid#lmk six eared macaque#lmk sun wukong#tetris draws skrunklies#lmk shadowpeach#shadowpeach#u don’t even wanna know how long this took me#fucking idiot throws them off a nimbus & free falls#I’m still learning how 2shade dint come @ me😭#it’s 2 am & im so tired#listened 2 the undertale ost while drawing the line art btw#I had sun funny 2 say but I 4got um#LOOK! THEYRE FALLING 4 EACHOTHER ‼️#stole the moon from Wikipedia bcz I am not drawing that😭#& the bkg is heavily referenced from a Pinterest photo#so if u took that & see this#um hi💀#Tetris put ur signature on ur fuckimg art 4 once challenge#tumblr stop killing my art challenge
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getting all the education/degrees I can and planning so I can get the fuck out of this country >>>>
#🪷—faerie whispers#because I still don’t like these fucking ppl#done all that yip yapping in my ask box and these ppl still suck#idec who wins#I want out of this hellhole. bc were cooked either way#everybody voting for the wrong reasons anyways so who gives a fuck#I’ve been saving and I plan to get one more degree before I leave#I’ve been heavily considering Japan or Germany#there really isn’t shit here for me#ppl always say ‘wont you have to deal w racism/colorism?’#a cop yelled at me to move my truck out in front of a store even tho I’m on a cane and couldn’t walk far#black men literally have been ignoring and treating me like shit for my entire life since elementary school#trust me when I say nothing could be worse than what I’ve gone through#I’m ready to leave#we have no future under a capitalist society#and a government that no matter what prioritizes war and profit over ppl’s lives#I have no intelligent words for this#I’m truly tired#and for all the dumbasses who were pissed off at me for what I said in august#stay mad bc I have nothing for y’all either#y’all owe Palestinians an apology#they’re the main ones suffering from this ignorance#and we’re next
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what a fucking week (it’s 2 pm on a monday)
#i’m gonna have a very therapeutic lay on the ground for an hour tonight#i’m so fucking exhausted#also unrelated but vaguely related#the other day i told my supervisor i didn’t know how to do something she asked me to do#which was very hard for me! bc i’m not good at asking for help bc i don’t like to be annoying#anyways i asked her on friday and she never responded and i was like ‘ok she’s probably gone for the weekend and she’ll answer on monday’#then i looked today and she just reacted with a 👍 to my message instead of. telling me how to do it#so i’m still stressed out about that but. girl i am so tired#i also promised myself i won’t get high in the middle of the week this week. so this is a test from god#and i may fail that test#we’ll try again next week#personal
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I’m tired of seeing all these caveats on The Acolyte saying that the writing could’ve been better or it wasn’t as good like there’s a need to preemptively defend criticism of it when saying it deserved to get renewed. It was just as good or bad as most of the other star wars live action, none of which in terms of either quality (everything except Andor) or performance has surpassed The Mandalorian.
The Acolyte had a good first season, set the stage for a new direction, was able to build word of mouth and attract new audiences, and by the end of the season was going viral in a way that only Obi-Wan managed to do by bringing in a second legacy character (Anakin). This is now the 4th production including the sequel series that received a targeted hate campaign, by which I’m placing strong emphasis on the words targeted and campaign because both Ahsoka and TBOBF received large amounts of racist abuse.
Star Wars is a stagnant media property, coming off of a widely-panned sequel series (which managed to achieve the rare feat of alienating both the racist and misogynistic parts of the fanbase and just about everyone else in refusing to properly develop the new leads as it re-tooled itself to appease the former.) Just about every actor of color in a leading role has been subject to widespread racial abuse, it frequently undermines its own initiative to focus on female characters, and in refusing to stand by its own IP it’s destroying any long-term plan to revitalize the fanbase before it even gets off the ground, the High Republic era now having years of investment and buildup cast aside.
When all of the following media projects fail because no one has faith in them after how they handled their previous projects (looking at the upcoming Rey-centric Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy led film) its going to once again be blamed on ‘bad quality, bad production, whatever the racist dog whistle of the season is like the current “wokeism” etc.’ and not an inherent refusal of a company to stand by its own work. This is Star Wars, no one, not even the biggest fans of the prequel films were coming out of theatres thinking this was Oscar-winning high art. What made it work is George Lucas’ refusal to give in to criticism and fundamentally change his own creation, for better or worse, whether it be bad CGI and Jar Jar Binks, or making an annoying little kid named Ani the central protagonist of the first film in decades. That same attitude stood by giving Anakin a padawan named Ahsoka. It should be ushering in a new era of Star Wars, instead half the audience is convinced Lucasfilm hates its own IP.
#the acolyte#star wars#had to get this all off my chest because I’m so tired of this shit#we can go on and on about the writing poduction whether the volume should exist etc etc etc#none of it fundamentally matters#for half these projects because they’re going to get scrapped after two episodes#the sequel series had someone hitting the eject button from the second too many people started throwing the n word around about Finn#tbobf got five dollars because execs thought no one would tune into the fetts without a helmet on so you could see that’s he’s brown#(*they I meant he being Temeura)#Ahsoka is only doing well because of the set up from TCW and popular leads#and barely at that#it’s a fucking nightmare#because Disney is practically printing cash with Grogu’s name on it and still won’t make proper investments#at this point a smaller project with a $20 budget made in someone’s basement is a better long term investment
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I really don’t understand why people hate Tommy so much? Like. It’s okay not to like the guy, but if you think he’s just a temporary love interest anyways then literally why do you care???
#and this is coming from a buddie shipper!!!!#I’m mostly over bucktommy personally but I still indulge from time to time#but honestly I’m following more bucktommy people than buddie rn bc some of y’all have lost your damn minds over hating a fictional guy#like jfc get a grip and utilize tumblrs filtering features like the rest of us#facism is on the rise and I just want to enjoy my stupid firefighter show without having to see this dumb stuff#WHICH BTW if you’re gonna act foolish then can you at least tag it properly? I’m so fucking tired guys#anyways this is me humbly asking folks to learn the wonders of bitching in the group chat and letting people live#thank you and goodnight#911#fandom drama#phil speaks#oh ALSO#BUCKTOMMY SHIPPERS ARE NOT OFF THE HOOK#if I see ANYONE saying stupid shit I’m blocking so don’t come at me with any bullshit#anyone participating in this stupid ship war is annoying to me and that’s that
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presented without comment
(chapters 280 + 344)
#unordinary#unordinary webtoon#cw blood#i fucking lied i have so many comments#FIRST AND FOREMOST. i originally had the images in the opposite order (meaning john’s on the left and rei’s on the right)#when i was drafting this post. but then i was like. ‘oh i should put them in chapter/chronological order instead’ and it oh my god#uru you bastard that’s so much worse#(and then ofc i had to rewrite my tags accordingly)#but anyways#like literally almost everything about these scenes is mirrored/opposite#obviously they are facing different directions (and thus. each other)#they are also looking at different places in the second panel - rei is looking up and john is looking down#rei is looking up directly at kuyo. yes. but his raised head also makes him look a bit defiant. his kind of smirk also adds to that feel#he’s obviously not… happy. he’s been through a lot (is literally about to die) but his spirit remains.#there’s still light in his eyes. hope.#and he still finds the time to tell kuyo to call it quits and give him well wishes#then we have john’s half which is. ough.#and uhh cw suicidal ideation from this point on i guess?#looking down! no light in his eyes! defeated and dragging himself to the finish line!#alone.#he’s still fighting but he’s TIRED. absolutely nothing to look forward to here.#keep going because there’s no turning back now#he is doing this for the people he’s already lost (jane william sera). not for people who are here now (blyke remi isen)#rei didn’t go into this thinking he would die but ended up choosing to sacrifice himself anyways#john went in with the intention of sacrificing himself and survived anyways#i could be reading too far into it but i think you can kind of see that in their expressions in the first image set#rei looks like he’s realizing he’s about to die but john just looks like he’s fighting#he’s already made his choice#that’s about all i got (and i’m at the tag limit) so.#to everybody who hated my john-william comparison post this one’s for YOU 🫵
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lol didn’t think someone giving money would give me anxiety
#to the judge that’s gonna see this case next year and the lawyer that is representing it assuming the state idk how this all works#why has the person to say the least get to go a whole year without consequence? a known criminal who after stealing from me and being#released and again getting arrest now for gang violence or some shit she was let go? she maybe associated to the group that killed that boy#last year. and here i am panicking because im afraid to carry cash. im paranoid that imma go outside and my car will be missing. i’m get#panic attacks when i drive to close to that gym and tired going back but physically cannot get out of my car and i start to cry in the#parking lot. i’m not sitting at work shaking forcing myself not to cry because someone handed me cash and i’m afraid someone is going to#steal my purse again. you think that’s not a big deal and honestly i didn’t think it was until my purse was gone. my cards stolen and used.#my key missing EVERYTHING in my purse GONE. so many things in there plus the purse i had money and all that is stuff i paid for now im out#all that cash i’m out 500$ for a key replacement i stopped feeling safe leaving my house all my non replaceable things gone and everyone#spoke to me like it was my fault and had to stand their crying while adults told me not to use a gym locker ??? but in the same breath telli#telling me this isn’t the first time she’s done this she has a warrant for her arrest she’s known to steal cars i’m the problem and there’s#nothing they can do to help me. so while i cry because all the money i had lost and never got back i had to do ALL the work to call my bank#track where my cards were being spent at call the jpay line she transferred money to look up the person she cashapped money to call the#business she was actively spending money at ask the manger if she is currently there and if they could give the police all the receipts and#video of her there for them to act like the hero’s for my brother and i tracking her down while you all belittled me#FUCK YOU AND FUCK HER i can’t be fucking normal about STUPID mundane shit i’m stuck here shaking and crying and what you tell me later it’s#not a big deal? give me all the content of your car and wallet or purse or backpack take nothing out and see what you’re left with and how m#much you need to spend to drive your car again and to tow your car home let a stranger have all your cards and address and tell me you feel#safe#OH and for the gym to tell me they know about her she used to be an employee there she doesn’t have a membership so they don’t know how she#got in and they can’t help but she did steal from another girl that night and an employee last month and who knows how many more ppl like#that’s convenient you pos sounds like she has friends that still work at the gym and open the back door for her or just let her in that’s#crazy no ? and this is all alleged because when if i lost all these things i can’t speak on what did or didn’t happen that’s some crazy bull#shit anyways the towing company felt bad for me maybe because i hadn’t stopped crying they gave me the key replacement number and told me to#mention he referred me so i could get a discount and the layman felt back for me because when i called him i started to cry and when he told#me the price i cried harder so 500$ was the cheapest but pretty much my whole check#key man*#bad** LET ME FIX TAGS#allegedly all these ppl are privileged kids from a privileged background that grew up in a sheltered community and thing there’s no#consequences to their actions because of the lack of accountability from their parents who willing pay for people to look the other way
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“I can’t believe Penelope got a happy ending”
Oh my god, you’re so right it’s not like this show is a romance where every main couple is guaranteed a happy ending. Oh wait…
#get a grip#NEWSAFLASH#she was always going to get one bestie boo#I don’t care how much you wanted her publicly executed it wasn’t going to happen#everyone on Reddit and Twitter needs to remember what kind of show they are watching#like criticize pen all you want but at the end of the day she is still a main character who is still going to get a happy ending because#that’s the genre#once I saw a Reddit post sating that the only way they will forgive pen is if she goes to jail or suffers some so#sort of legal punishment from the queen and it’s like be fucking for real#this isn’t law and order bestie#bridgerton#sorry I’m so tired#love or hate pen but complaining that she got a happy ending is just stupid#polin#sad ending for side characters only
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#one of my silly little goals this year is to talk more about my accomplishments even though they aren’t super recent#I’m tired of resigning myself to being a burnt out former gifted kid. I studied at Oxford for a term.#I taught a college class. I TA’d for two other college classes. and volunteer TA’d for the department’s hardest course offering#because I was already being used as a TA that semester for a different class and the professor still wanted someone to run review sessions#I had professors fighting over me to do work and research for them! I had departments fighting over me! I did summer research!#I was the first person in my department in nearly a decade to ask to do a senior thesis. for fun.#I ran programs and clubs and I was a writing tutor for the writing center AND the resume lab/career center#I was the only person in my writing professor’s tenure to earn a 100 on my research paper for that stupid fucking class#in high school I was second in my class and did it while writing one-act plays for production and doing district choirs and acting#I’m so so so tired of beating myself up and falling to my knees and doing penance for the past 4 years.#I fumbled some stuff at the start of my 20’s. I’m an adult with ADHD that no one clocked while I was growing up.#I was supposed to go to St Andrews for an MLitt and then the pandemic happened and I had to withdraw.#I just need to get over it and stop agonizing over every misstep I’ve made since college#otherwise I’m never going to make it out of my 20’s alive#so yeah. for those of you who don’t know! I am a silly cumdrunk braindead good girl PART-TIME#the rest of the time I’m clawing my way back to the high standards I set for myself from first grade onward#my stuff#ignore me i’m rambling
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Pros of dissociating so much you cannot tell what’s going on: it is easier to ignore bodily disability symptoms! Yay! Get to pretend you are healed and abled!! Able-bodied and healthy!! Yay!!!! We are the epitome of health 🎉.
Cons of dissociating so much you cannot tell what’s going on: it is easier to ignore bodily disability symptoms…. (You are NOT healed, you are getting worse!) (your body is deteriorating and all you do is pretend it isn’t happening) (uh oh!!).
-> Our body is low-key falling apart and we are simply ignoring it. This is so healthy and good. We are so able bodied.!! (/most sarcastic tone ever… This whole post is in a sarcastic and frustrated tone! Cannot recommend ignoring your symptoms at all!!! We just… Cannot get the level of care we need right now, and it is taking its toll…).
#coming back to ‘reality’ in a body that does not want to be human-shaped is actually really fucking stressful!!#like oh I’m back in the body- aw shucks all the connective tissue is fucked up! and cannot fix it! great…#tmi but fairly convinced at least one organ is prolapsed- and has been for years. which would explain the pain. but oh well cannot fix it.!#like would it kill you to not fall apart right now. this is meant to be the best years of our life. and we’re spending it in medical rooms.#people we had as peers (before we dropped out of… the world…) are finishing degrees or travelling.??#oh you went to Greece? while we spent three months in a psychiatric ward? cool. that’s. ok. cool.!!#joints are destroying themselves and we are having to pick which ones we need the least to survive + can damage more….#like- have given up on our ankles and knees. if they get destroyed then like…. at least we still have working hands#sometimes it all hits us full force and we have to face the fact our body is not going to heal magically.#torn between getting our last gender affirming surgery as soon as possible (before body deteriorates more) and just…. putting it off.?#like- indefinitely… we’ve healed from the other surgery ok#but our skin did not respond how it was wanted to. and that was before massive decline physically. so..?#and honestly we may not even win the fight with the transphobe gatekeeping that surgery right now.! he is infamous for his transphobia! so!#tired. ramble vent in hashtags again oops. should probably tag for this…#sort of vent#cw vent#physically disabled#actually disabled#disability#disabled#physical disability#dissociative system#complex dissociative disorder#actually dissociative
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Gonna make a list of queer characters that don’t outright state their queerness because a certain group of people complaining about the handling of a certain character’s arc from a certain game is pissing me off
“They didn’t make her say she was trans so that means that they’re giving us a ‘fuck you’/we need confirmation or it isn’t valid and transphobes will be transphobic/they’re queerbaiting!”
Shut the fuck up
The fact that we’re even at this point is a miracle in itself and needing every character to explicitly say their orientation and/or gender identity shows how ignorant you are, not just regarding media literacy, but also on queer history
By your myopic lens you’re discrediting a lot of queer characters that didn’t and/or couldn’t outright say that they’re queer
Characters shouldn’t have to outright say their orientation and/or gender identity for you to consider them “good rep”
That perspective is ridiculously narrow minded and downplays the importance of previous queer characters that helped pave the way to where we are now
#*add in obligatory “I AM TRANS” here*#I’m so fucking tired#for fuck's sake as I'm writing this japan STILL doesn't allow same sex marriages! this shit is very much still progressive!#and I KNOW it’s a bunch of kids saying these things due to how popular the game is with kids#(and because these people are always talking about school)#which makes me even more annoyed. these kids aren't fully grasping what they're talking about.#this is just in general but: YOU DON’T KNOW EVERYTHING. I DON’T KNOW EVERYTHING. YOU NEED TO ACCEPT THAT#‘let’s downplay the important things that these characters did for our community because they didn’t outright state what they were 😃’#it feels like I’m stuck with a bunch of lily orchards 😭#god if she ever finds out about this game and this character’s arc…#I am going to make the list but I’ll have to scan through a lot of transcripts and such to do so. so it’ll take a while 😅#I wonder what these guys would think about the cops from [POPULAR DISNEY CARTOON WITH THE TRIANGLE TUMBLR SEXYMAN]#lgbtq#queer#queer representation#fandom discourse#(… I guess!)#rant#personal#mint mumbles
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It’s just such a like. This is a character driven show. This is a character driven show. And this season is dealing with all the complicated dynamics within the characters so poorly, they’re throwing everything at the wall and hoping something strikes a chord with someone. They’re trapping Five and Lila in the subway with a montage and we’re supposed to see an impact from that and root for their annoying out of nowhere relationship?? They bury klaus alive and this has no impact. They barely acknowledge the complicated situation that is sparrow Ben being the one in the timeline and not the original Ben they all grew up with. They put Ben together with Some Girl in order to cause the apocalypse which removes the importance of BEN causing the apocalypse. Klaus apparently just doesn’t have any complicated feelings about this also despite being arguably the one who would feel this difference the most. Luther does nothing. Viktor monologues his feelings to Reginald and that makes their relationship functional. Allisons arc revolves around klaus now which I love their dynamic but damn explore her other traits. Luther’s power for some reason makes his monkey body come back(?), some of them get cool new powers??? But some don’t?? Diego has kids and doesn’t give a shit and we don’t give a shit because they show them once. They show a flashback to when they were kids for the first time in 2 seasons so it feels weird. SO MUCH goes on but NOTHING happens and there’s still a bunch of threads never resolved from previous seasons. Remeber when this show was dedicated to the details of the characters and their relationships and not flashy powers and random bits of character traits dropped into a scene never to be explored in depth
#there’s literally still shit from season one that’s not addressed#and I’m SO TIRED IF THE ENDLESS PAURINGS STOP PAIRING EVERYONEBOFF NOT EBERUONE NEEDS TO DATE GOD#Jesus fucking Christ#Tua#yapping tag#tua season 4#I haven’t finished it yet but I’m close and just#sigh
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god i cannot wait to be off these steroids…
#marzi speaks#marzivents#<- it’s late n i’m kinda pent up abt this#i’m so TIRED of themmmm#i’m probs gonna be on them for the rest of the year. which SUCKSSS#i don’t like how many ppl comment on the moon face#i don’t mind it. like i look in a mirror and i’m okay.#it’s a little weird. but like. just because it’s different. like getting used to a new haircut#but every time i see someone for the first time in a bit it’s ‘woah your face got rounder’#and i have to go ‘oh yeah it’s water retention- steroids thing it’ll go away when i’m able to go off ‘em’#and they go ‘oh alright :) you still look good btw don’t worry’#and i just. i HATE how people talk about it!! like jfc. it’s so clear that they think it’s like kinda sad#my dad said he thinks it’s cute and he’s the only one i actually think is telling the truth there#my mom and i agree that it doesn’t matter. but even then she tries to tell me not to panic#like a little extra squish in my face is something to panic over#it’s so clear that so many people see it as another thing to pity#oh poor thing. has that chronic illness for the rest of her life. and the steroids made her jaw look rounder :(#like jfc i knew fatphobia was prevalent but come the fuck on. literally i’m like barely retaining water for steroids too#like. i’m still very much skinny (i JUST finished being malnourished ffs) but bc i’m retaining water in my face#now ppl feel the need to comfort me. over this tiny cosmetic thing that does not matter#like. i wouldn’t feel weird abt it if it weren’t for everyone else making it such a THING. why is everyone so weird about it#i’m not insecure about it but when ppl try to comfort me or go ‘it’s not that bad’ it makes me feel like i’m SUPPOSED to be insecure abt it#and it drives me NUTS. bc there are things about being on steroids that i would love to be comforted about#but the water retention is not one of them. i couldn’t give a rat’s ass about the water retention#y’know what i’d like to be comforted over? the mood swings. the irritability. the insomnia. the appetite fluctuation#the slow healing of skin. thinning and dryness in the skin. having to take like 3 other medications alongside the steroid#bc taking the steroid causes side effects that need to be medically treated or prevented#even outside of the steroid! i’d like some comfort about having to build back my stamina from scratch#i’d like some comfort about having the worst balance i’ve had in years#there’s. more to this. but i’m out of tags. maybe i’ll make some replies idk. i’m just. UGH
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#vent#sorry god not to use this as a space for that since i almost never do but i am. so frustrated.#so context is that over this year i have lost. like. A Concerning Amount Of Weight. without changing anything about my lifestyle.#hell if anything i’m doing worse on that front because i have no fucking energy now. i am constantly exhausted and dizzy. i can’t eat as#well as i used to and i can’t exercise. i do not feel good!!!#but i can’t say a goddamn thing to my family because the minute they hear ‘lost weight’ it’s like their brains turn off and they don’t hear#the rest of what’s going on. it’s purely positive for them.#EVEN IF I DID NOT FEEL LIKE SHIT. AND I VERY MUCH DO. I STILL WOULD NOT LIKE MY BODY SUDDENLY CHANGING ON ME LIKE THAT.#i liked how i looked and i liked how i felt.#i felt so much fucking stronger and more alert like 30 pounds ago. now im always tired and none of my clothes fit and im cold because all my#fucking padding got taken away from me!!!! i needed that!!!!!!!!#im just hoping Something shows up in my bloodwork this month to clue me in to what’s going on because this can’t continue. i hate this.
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