#I had woken up at like 1 or something in a flop sweat that I was really confused by and then went back to bed

[kingofmyborrowedheart]

Experienced the worst period cramps I have ever had at two this morning.

[remnant-cain]

Cheyrolls Chapter 2

CWs: Minor hostage situation, Sex Joke, Attempted murder, Cannibalism, lots a blood

AN: This was meant to be part of Chapter 1 but I was struggling to make this sound cohesive and well paced, and I was trying not to be too obvious by the end. Enjoy

-----

(Previously)

The monster tugged them into his room, and slammed the door behind him. Adrik flinched at the force of it all, but willingly took in the room ahead of them. The first thing they took in was the smell of sweat. It wasn’t horrible, but it was noticeable enough. Then, they noticed the mess around them. The living room slash kitchen was… clean enough. There were some clothes scattered around, and a few dirty dishes in places they weren’t supposed to be. Posters were pinned across the walls, some for bands and others for an anime they didn’t know about, but the sheer amount of buff men intrigued them. The coffee table was cluttered, and the sofa was covered in unfurled blankets. The weirdest part was the room situation, though. There was seemingly only one room: his room. The other was essentially turned into extra storage. No way in hell could this possibly be Daniel’s roommate.

Their host, if they could even call him that, had begun scooping up his dirty laundry to clean a bit for them. Clearly, he’d not planned guests. He paid no mind to the broader issue of where they would be staying.

“...What’s with you?” His voice was rough and snappy, ripping them from their thoughts.

“Oh, um… where should I put my things? There's not really a room for me.”

The man snorted, trying to muffle his laughter. “Just throw it in the storage room. You can have the couch tonight, I’ll clear that room tomorrow.” 

“Ok, thank you. Um, your name is?” 

“Mango.”

He didn’t even bother to ask their name, so they didn’t push it. He was probably still upset at having been woken up, they couldn’t blame him. The storage room was certainly a mess. A bunch of trash and boxes that hadn’t been taken out to the trash can yet. There were a few travel bags shoved underneath the bed, but they paid little mind to it as they all seemed empty. They glanced around and plopped their backpack by the door.

“Why did you get a two bedroom if you live alone?” Adrik asked. “It just seems a bit unnecessary.”

“I do have roommates sometimes. They don't last long’s all.” Mango stated, raising his voice to be heard as he wrestled on a tank top.

“Do they just get kicked out, or can they just not stand someone like you?” Adrik asked, walking out of the storage room.

“...A third option.”

What kind of third option could there be in a place like this? They hoped and prayed the third option wasn’t death. Mango artfully dodged them after they accidentally walked in his way, and moved to the TV.

“Wanna play something?” He muttered, almost sounding bored.

“Um, sure.”

Mango began messing with the old TV and the console underneath. Adrik decided now was the time to get answers for their questions, while he fidgeted with the TV, the console, and its settings. 

“You know Daniel?”

“Yep.” Mango grumbled “He lives with my little sister. Both hate visitors, that’s why they’re sent to me. That’s why I have the guest room.”

“Do you know what happened to him?”

He shook his head, tentacles flopping back and forth. From what they could see of his face, it only looked like he had a single eye. The screen finally flicked on, to an HDMI select screen. “She won’t let me see him. Apparently he has really bad anxiety.”

Daniel had anxiety? That was news to Adrik. It seemed like a contradiction to who they knew him as. If he had anxiety there wouldn’t have been as many hospital visits they’d been informed of.  

Mango flipped the channel and the menu for a GameCube select screen popped up.

“What do you wanna play?” Mango shut up their questions.

He began to shuffle through his game collection to give them options. Baldur’s Gate, Luigi’s Mansion, Mario Sunshine, Mario Parties Five through Seven, Bomberman Land 2, Digimon World 4, Smash Bros-

“Let’s smash.” Adrik stated, knowingly.

Mango’s eye slammed wide open in shock. There was a brief moment of silence before his brain finally rebooted.

“...Dear Lord, why did I think you weren’t talking about the game for a minute?”

They snickered. “I don’t know, you gave me no other options than gaming.”

Mango shook his head while he selected the title. “Then why the hell did you phrase it that way?”

“Sorry I just… I like making jokes like that.”

“No no, you're fine.” He went silent for a moment before continuing with something next to inaudible that they couldn’t hear 

Adrik nodded like they understood what he said, readjusting their glasses as the intro music blared. They barely noticed Mango's look change into one of mild panic.

“You heard that?” It was quiet and full of horror, even with the theme blaring.

”Nyet.” Adrik admitted. 

“Ok, good. You weren’t supposed to hear that.”

”Then why did you say it out loud?”

”It’s just how my brain works, sometimes I just gotta say a thing out loud to keep it in mind.” He tapped a few buttons, entering the character select screen. “Anyways, let’s smash.”

…

“Wow, you suck at this.”

“Shut up I don’t have anyone else to play with, none of my siblings come over.”

”I’m an only child, you have no excuse.”

Mango smoothed his tentacles out with a smooth, firm hand and slammed down the controller. He stood up, stretched, and walked over to the kitchen in annoyance.

“I’m getting a drink, I’m not mad I swear.”

His tone refused to convey his lie. He sounded, at the very least, ticked off at his bad luck. Every word he said contained a low growl underneath, and he refused to even look at them. His tail flicked like a cat that was prepared to bite a person. He took his claws to a pack of bottled water, and Adrik finally spoke up again.

”We can play something else if you want, I don’t know how to use this system.”

Mango choked on his water and whipped his head around to face them like he’d just heard them admit that they were a murderer. “What do you MEAN you don’t know how to use that?”

”I never used this, I grew up on the Wii, this is all new to me.” 

“Christ, you humans really are uncivilized rats.” He paused for a brief moment before specifying, “No offense.”

”None taken, I’m just confused why you think that.”

Mango shrugged, walking back to the couch. It dipped underneath his sheer weight, imperceptibly shifting Adrik just that much closer to him. His massive tail coiled around their spot, not touching them but making moving without being noticed next to impossible 

“Most of my race see humans as nothin but vermin. Not good, not bad, just pests. They’re not too well liked, especially not after what they did to our kind. I’m pretty neutral about their existence, just don’t piss me off.”

Adrik didn’t prod. It seemed like a VERY touchy subject and they didn’t really want to bring it up this early. But as Mango flipped back to the game select screen, Adrik heard a growl. Where it’d come from, they didn’t know. It wasn’t deep enough to be from Mango, but there was nothing else there that could’ve let out a noise like that. It was quiet, guttural, and drawn out. Definitely not anything else there.

Mango finally settled on Mario Party, but Adrik felt that he was less focused on his selection and more focused on them.

…

They heard the growling yet again. All Adrik could feel was Mango’s gaze burying into their very soul, like the eyes of a hawk having found its prey. He leaned back, all too casually. Adrik forced themself to lean back as well; they couldn’t feel safe with him behind them. Their hands tightened on their controller, awkwardly kneading its hand grips. They didn’t want to look at him. They were afraid to look at him.1

”You already know what’s coming, don’t you?” His voice was as monotone as ever.

Almost unconsciously, Adrik answered, “You’re going to kill me, aren’t you?” 

They hadn’t meant to say that, they hadn’t even been thinking that until he got weird about it. Mango instantly turned away, falling deathly silent. He wasn’t even breathing it sounded. Adrik glanced over and immediately regretted it. He looked completely enraged, shivering. They turned away, shoving their hands into their pockets. They traced the shape they found, a small switchblade. It was still faulty, and would often go off with the slightest provocation, but it was the closest thing to a comfort they had here.

 ”Is it really murder if it’s necessary?” Mango’s voice wasn’t just monotone, but dead flat. 

Before Adrik could ask what he’d meant by that, Mango lunged. He grabbed their wrists, and ripped them out of their pockets, shoving both down his throat. They refused to let go of the knife, but they couldn’t bring themself to use it. They were frozen in terror and disgust. His throat was wet with saliva, and tight. It was impossible to pull out their hands, but he didn’t bite down. He swallowed, dragging their arms deeper into his throat, forcing them even closer. It was sweltering, but they looked him in his eye, his smug, golden, angry eye, and flicked the knife out. 

His throat spasmed, causing him to bite down on their arms, hard. Finally, they were able to pull their spit coated arms out of his throat. They ripped their arms out before his throat clamped back down, dragging the knife across the muscle. A gurgling screech left Mango as his hands flew up to clasp his throat, a mix of blood and spit drooling out from his mouth.

They fell to the ground, still too in shock to run. Something was wrong, but they were too hyped up from terror and adrenaline to be able to tell what. Their blouse was fucked, the arms covered in a disgusting mess of both of their blood, a good deal of Mango’s slobber, and torn from when he bit them. Mango was hacking as if he were about to throw up, as the gills on his neck gasped for air for him. Bright orange - almost golden - blood spilled from his mouth as he reacted in pain.

“Why do you have a fucking knife!?” Mango gurgled hoarsely through breaths.

”What the FUCK is wrong with you, you tried to eat me!” Adrik shrieked from the floor. “And how are you still alive?”

”To answer both questions, I’m a Leviathan. We all eat humans one way or another. And you’re not out of it either, mister. That bite means we’re stuck with each other for a loooooong time.”

[frizzybizzy-21]

Reality (Atsumu Miya x Reader Timeskip!)

Chapter 1

Continuation from Prologue...

~~~~

'Okay. But just promise me that you'll be careful? I don't want you getting in trouble while I'm not here.'... You thought back to what your dad wanted you to promise him when you started to unpack everything. 'Yeah, right. How would I be so stupid to get into that much trouble? I'm too busy to even go out anyway...'

Time skip!!!!!

You put the last cup in your kitchen cabinet. You sighed, walking to the kitchen island to grab your phone. You checked what time it was and it was about to be 6:45pm. You looked at your living room, it was all put together, except it was a bit empty because you knew that your roommate was going to have to put some stuff in. 'That should be enough for today. I'll just finish up the rest tomorrow.' You stretched while walking to your room. As you entered your room, you texted your parents a lie saying that you had finished with all the unpacking. You didn't want them to come to your apartment and help you out of nowhere.

Once you sent the text, you flopped on your bed and just stayed there for a few minutes. You felt yourself start to fall to sleep. But you were quickly woken up by your phone going off. You sat up and grabbed your phone to check who had texted you, it was probably your parents but they normally would reply to you after a few minutes of you texting them first. You unlocked your phone and saw that it was your parents. It was only a small text that said something along the lines of, "Okay, sweetie! We're heading back to the house. We'll send you a message when we get back home!". You replied with a quick, "Okay! I love you, drive safe!!!".

You got up fully from your bed, not really knowing what to do anymore. You thought of things to do, but after a while of thinking, you decided to get something to eat. You went to one of your luggages in your room, pulling out a sweat and a pair of sweatpants. You quickly changed, grabbing your keys as you headed for the front door. You checked online to see what was nearby you, but there were only cafes. Bumper. Eh, Whatever. You wanted to eat something, and anything was better than nothing at the moment.

You walked out of your apartment building, you took a glance at the front desk to see if the receptionist was still there. Sadly, he wasn't there and was replaced by a lady that looked like she would get mad at people for even looking at her. You walked past her quickly and out the front door. You put the directions on your phone and headed to the cafe that was only a few blocks to you.

After about 12 minutes of walking, you had finally gotten to the cafe. You entered the doors and the smell of coffee, pastries, and other things hit you like a car. You loved the smell of baking, it reminded you of your best friends baking and chocolates that he would make for you. Too bad that he moved to Paris, you really missed him right now. After getting flashbacks of Tendou, you stopped and looked at the menu. You looked at the menu and landed your eyes on what you were going to get. You walked up to the line of people waiting to place their orders. Not very much time passed by and you were finally at the front of the line, the workering at you with a smile.

"Hello! What would you like to order from here today?" You looked at the menu behind the worker and composed yourself. "I would like (your order)." the worker put your order in and nodded. "Would that be all?", you nodded and said thank you. You grabbed your wallet from your pocket and took out the money that was necessary. You reached over and gave the worker the money and said thank you. You sat at one of the tables that was near the windows. You looked outside, not really knowing what you were going to do tomorrow. You spaced out a bit, deep in thought. But, you realized something. One of your best friends was in town for a bit.

You got back in line to order one last thing. "Hello! What can I get you again?", you smiled at the worker and said, "Two milk breads, please!" you already had your money out. You gave the money to the worker and thanked them one last time. You walked towards a barista who had called out your name. You thanked them and grabbed your order. You started to enjoy your food/ drink when you went back to sit down at the same table you sat at. You waited for a few minutes to hear your name being called out. After what seemed like 15 minutes, you finally heard your name. You ran towards the barista and thanked them once more and left the cafe.

As you were walking back to your apartment, you unlocked your phone and went to your contacts. You scrolled down a bit, you couldn't find him. That was weird, you normally have him at the top. You checked again and saw that he was the second person on your contact list. You alway seem to be blind sometimes. You clicked on his picture and called him. You waited and waited until he finally picked up.

"Y/n?! Is that really you calling me?"

"The one and only! I just wanted to let you know that I have finally gotten into my own apartment!"

"You did, now? So, when can I come over?"

"I was actually about to ask you if you wouldn't come over. I have a surprise for you!"

"Hmm, let me guess...it is milk bread?" you could hear the sarcasm in his voice, which does cause you to laugh.

"Oh my god! How did you know?!" you throw back your own sarcasm at him.

"Oh, it's not like you get it for me every time you see me. But, then again I could be imagining things!"

"Mhmm, okay. I'll send you my address. You better be there in 10 minutes!"

"Okay, N/n! You don't have to yell it!" You laughed and just said bye. You ended the call and sent him the address. "He better be there in 10 minutes..." You muttered in a low voice. You knew that he had a habit of getting places late. You didn't mind it, but this time you did because you really want to talk to him. Even though you knew that he was going to be late, you still were going to be mad at him.

After getting to your apartment building, You scanned the place to see if there was a tall browned haired guy waiting. You didn't see him...of course. You kept walking, still there was no sign of him. You made your way to the elevator and pressed the number 3 floor. You whistled to yourself while waiting to reach your floor. As you reached your floor, you walked out and saw someone at the front door of your Apartment. 'There is no way...' you thought to yourself as you smiled.

"Is that Oikawa?! Being early???" you almost yelled but remembered that there were other people living there too. "Hey! You don't have to make it such a big deal, you know?" Oikawa looked defensive as he pointed at you. "I'm kidding! I'm just surprised, that's all." you walked towards your door and opened it for the both of you. "Ladies first," you said, motioning to Oikawa to walk in first. "Why thank you, N/n!" he smiled, rubbing the back of his head. After he walks in, you close the door and take off your shoes. "Wow! I was expecting smaller if I'm going to be honest. Now, can I get my milk bread, pretty please?" he said in a whiny voice. You rolled your eyes and handed the bag of milk bread in it.

"Here... And I know, right!? I'm surprised that I actually found this place. I don't care who my roommate is, I just care about the rent.", as you mentioned your roommate, Oikawa raised an eyebrow. "Hmm, speaking of your roommate, who are they? Have you seen them or anything? Are they a guy!?" You chuckled. Of course he would ask that question. After the last guy you dated, Oikawa had to know everything about any guy you were talking to. It was annoying at times, but you got used to it. It was good to know that someone cares that much.

"I haven't actually thought much about it. Either way, it doesn't matter if my roommate is a guy. I can probably trick him into paying most of my rent..." you waited for Oikawa's response. "You're being vulgar! Did that guy change you?!", he started to yell at you while you were just laughing at him. "I was only joking! But actually, it'll be fine. Anyways, tell me...what's been up with volleyball? I haven't heard anything about it from you."

Oikawa just stared at you. You waited for him to talk, so you just walked to your small couch. A As you reached your couch, you made some room for him to sit down. Oikawa saw that you had sat down and made some room for him, so he sat down after you did, but he still didn't say anything. When you watched him sit down, you coughed while raising a brow up.

"So? What's up with volleyball? Don't tell me you're quitting?" Oikawa jumped at the fact you said the word quitting. He turned towards you and finally gave in, "No! I'm not quitting! Why would you say that?!" you looked at him with a 'are you serious' face, you had every right to think that. He was being so nervous for nothing and you just wanted him to tell you what's been going on with him. He glanced at you, seeing that you were giving him a face. He sighed, "I'm going to Brazil in 3 weeks..." you looked at him, him in Brazil? Yeah, right! You burst out laughing, you only did because you thought Oikawa would move to France or Greece, but Brazil?

"You're joking, right?", you wiped away a tear that was forming in your eye, but you looked at Oikawa to see him not smiling at all like it was a joke. "Wait, you're serious? You're really going to Brazil?" Oikawa took a bite out of his milk bread and waited until he swallowed it. "Yes, I'm being serious! Are you mad?", all you did was just sit there, not really knowing what to do. "No, I'm not mad...First Tendou and not you, huh?" you weren't mad at all actually. All you really wanted to know was why.

Oikawa didn't think you would be taking this so lightly. So, as he was about to ask you something, you quickly asked him something first. "Why though? What made you even want to go there in the first place?" Oikawa took another bite of his milk bread, but realized that you mentioned Tendou. 'Wait, does she think I'm going to live there?!' He knew that he had to clear things up. "First, it's not like I'm going to live there, and second, I'm only going there for a few weeks, N/n! My first game is over there!" you wanted to yell at Oikawa for not clearing things soon, but again, you weren't mad to begin with.

"Oikawa! You could've told me that before making me think I wouldn't have any more friends and that all my friends were leaving me!" Oikawa just gave you a smile with his eyes closed while rubbing the back of his head. "Oops?".

"Whatever, just tell me when your games are going to be so I can watch it." Oikawa jumped on to you and hugged you. "Awww, you care about me so much that you're going to watch my game?" you were sort of losing air from Oikawa's hug so you pushed him a bit. "Okay, okay. You can let go of me now! And don't act like I don't watch your games at all. I'm your number one fan!" He let go of you, apologizing for suffocating you. After getting air back into your lungs, you finally started laughing. Even after Oikawa graduated high school, he never forgot how to make you laugh when you really needed it.

After getting everything out of the way, Oikawa and you had talked about everything and anything. You two didn't notice just how much you two were talking until you got a text from your parents. When you went to go check your phone, you saw the text, but then saw what time it was. It was 10:20 pm. "Shit! Oikawa, it's 10:20. I have to get ready for bed, I still have things to do tomorrow. Sorry that I have to cut it short."

Oikawa just waved it off "It's fine, Y/n! I have practice in the morning, so I should be heading out." you thanked him and walked him out of your apartment. You said your goodbyes, hugged each other one last time and waved bye to each other while Oikawa was walking to the elevator. Smiled at him as the elevator doors closed. You walked back in your apartment, closing the door behind you. You walked towards your room, planning on taking a shower. As you got to your room, you looked through your luggage, trying to find the towels and shampoo you forgot to unpack.

After looking through a few boxes, you finally found everything you needed to take a shower. You walked out of your room and into the bathroom. You locked the door behind you. You first placed everything you brought with you to the bathroom in the place they needed to be. But after finishing putting everything away, you forgot to get your toothbrush. 'Ugh, of course I forgot something. I'll just get it later.'

After annoying yourself, you take off your clothes and step in the shower. You turn on the water, letting the water run for a while so the temperature was to your liking. For about a minute, it was finally at the temperature you wanted. You got under the water, letting it run through your hair and body. While you were showering, you were already thinking about what you were going to do for tomorrow.

Time skip after you finish showering!

You turned off the water to the shower. You slicked your hair back and squeezed all the remaining water that was left. When you finished, you stepped out of the shower and grabbed your towel to wrap around your hair. You grabbed another towel and wrapped it around your body. You cleaned your ears and finally went to your room.

You opened your door, while checking what time it was on your phone, '11:00'. You had an hour left until you planned to go to sleep. You closed the door, locking it before you went to your drawer and looked for your pajamas. Once you found them, you quickly changed into them and went to your smallest luggage to see if that's where your toothpaste and your toothbrush was. Not a moment goes by until you find them.

You rushed your way to the bathroom and quickly did your night routine. Thankfully since you were ruching, you only took 45 minutes to form your night routine. You checked your phone and saw that it was 11:50. Just in the nick of time!

You walked to your room, opening the door and closing it behind you. You flopped on your bed, getting under the covers and changing your phone on the nightstand before turning off the light. After a long day, sleep was all you really needed. So with that, you fell asleep pretty fast, even though it would normally take you a while to sleep.

So now you were asleep...until you heard something, or people?

You woke up to someone yelling at someone else. You reached your phone to check what time it was, when you checked, your phone read 2:46 am. 'Who the hell is that?'

You heard things being dropped left and right. You honestly didn't care, all you really wanted to do was sleep. But then you hear footsteps coming towards your door.

"Look, 'Samu! Doesn't my room look nice!? Wait, do you think my roommate is already here?"

"Are you that dumb, 'Tsumu? Did ya not see all the stuff already put away? And no, your roommate's room is probably nicer."

"Shut yer trap! I was just asking questions! Ya don't have to be mean about it!"

"Then ask better questions next time. And be quiet. It's almost 3 in the morning."

"Whatever. We would've been here earlier if ya didn't take the wrong turn!" he said it in a way that was a yell but in a whisper tone."

"Don't act like ya weren't the one to tell me to go right when I had to keep going straight."

"Let's just go get my stuff from the car! I really want to sleep."

"Well, I want to eat and ya don't hear me complaining."

"Let's just hurry up, 'Samu!"

"Ya the one wasting time...", you could tell this guy muttered it because you didn't hear anything else after that comment. 'He better only be acting that way because that's his friend or something...'. Slowly, you started to fall back to sleep again. But only this time you weren't interrupted. Maybe tomorrow you'll get to see your roommate for the first time.

word count: 2949

[atticuswritesstuff]

Cockwarming Bakugo x F!Reader

Summary: You bother Bakugo while he's studying and pay the price for it.

Warnings: NSFW, cockwarming, oral (female receiving), graphic sex, swearing, fluffy smut pretty much

Word Count: 3.8k

You decided to ditch the class of 1-A, finding your way to somewhere quiet. You loved all of your friends, but sometimes being around all of them all at once was a little overwhelming.

You made your way back to the dorms, heading to Bakugo's dorm instead of your own, knowing he too was alone tonight.

You knocked as you pushed the slightly open door open further, leaning against the door frame, "Hey there, Kacchan."

He leaned back in his desk chair, eyeing you while sighing, "You need something?"

"Well I was hoping for somewhere quiet to go," You stated, observing the countless amounts of papers, "Deku was too busy to hang out alone with me, how he stands all that noise I have no idea."

"Yeah, he's too polite to leave a group function," Bakugo confirmed.

You gave a curt 'mhm', still leaning against the door frame.

"You can come in," He relented, knowing you would never enter either his or Deku's room uninvited, "Close the door behind you, I don't need more extras trying to come to talk to me."

Trudging into the room, you looked over his homework. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders as he continued on with his work, "So, what are we working on that's more important than your friends?"

"Using physics to figure out sweat ratio to blasting distance," He stated, holding up a sheet with a trajectory diagram on it before shrugging you off, "Get off me, shitty woman."

You didn't pay any mind to his comment, looking over his work, he certainly knew what he was doing. You set the paper down gently, moving to turn to his bed. You flopped onto it, his sheets were cold, the feeling contrasting against your bare legs.

"I honestly don't know how you subjugate yourself to so much homework," You started, fiddling with your necklace, "You must enjoy the stress."

"I actually hate it," Bakugo replied quickly, "Homework is fucking stupid."

"Now that sounds a lot more like the Kacchan I know," You chuckled, rolling over onto your watch him work even though his back was turned to you, "You never did seem to care for homework until we came here."

He paid you no mind. Coming to be around either him or Deku was something you'd been doing since you were kids. Even if you didn't talk, Bakugo always knew that you enjoyed the presence of someone else, even if you two didn't interact.

You'd actually grown so accustomed to being around him like this that you could always find yourself being comfortable with him. Deku as well, to Bakugo, you were like a cat that came and went as you pleased. Always looking for a comfy place to sit and either watch quietly, nap or mess with something in the room.

You shivered, the temperature of the 1-A dorm usually declined at this time of night anyway, although this time you weren't prepared for it. You hadn't even intended to hang out with our friends earlier. Originally, you got up for some water and found them all congregating in Mina's room. Being caught in your pajamas and having just woken up from a late-evening nap, you had no energy to protest when they told you to stay.

Now, you were caught in the cold with your thin pajamas on. You began searching for Bakugo's blanket, however, it was nowhere to be found.

"Kacchan where the hell is your blanket, it's freezing in here," You complained, rising from the bed to look around for it.

"Not my fault you decided to wear those tiny ass pajama shorts, now you get to suffer in the cold because my blanket is in the wash." He retorted.

You huffed, wrapping your arms around your midsection. Quickly thinking, you strutted over to Bakugo, wrapping your arms around him and laying your head on his shoulder. He tried wiggling out of your grasp weakly.

"The fuck are you doing?" Bakugo complained, trying to shake you off.

"You don't get to complain there's no blanket and you are the only warm thing in here," You replied, holding on tight enough for him to be unable to move you, "Suffer the consequences, bitch."

He sighed, trying to return to his work. You enjoyed the small warmth you were getting from him, you swore you could feel some of his heat transferring to you. Chuckling as he gave in, you knew he didn't have the heart to push you away. While he knew you for most of your life, he also knew that fighting with you would result in one of you losing a limb.

You stood there for several minutes, even going so far as to close your eyes and sway on the verge of sleep. Bakugo noticed you almost stumbling over a few times, seeing your eyes closed and how relaxed you became from his warmth in the reflection of his computer.

"Let up for a second," Bakugo stated, "I'm gonna get comfy."

You did as he asked, hearing as he did so nicely. You stood up and watched as he scooted his chair back slightly, testing to see if he could still reach his desk from where he'd moved.

"You wanna be warm?" He asked, shyly patting his lap, "Then sit, I have things to do though so hurry up."

You weren't shocked per se, but definitely surprised. You hesitantly happily straddled his lap, blushing when your faces were only inches from each other.

"And if you tell anyone about this you're dead," He grumbled, "Not even Deku can know about this, got it?"

You nodded, slowly lowering your head to gently rest on his shoulder, your hands wrapped around his waist as he got comfortable. You heard the scribbling of his pencil as he began to write again, his other hand resting on your hip.

Your heart was going a million miles an hour. It took all of your restraint to not start giggling like a maniac. Being this close to Bakugo, feeling this warm, was causing your mind to race and your heart to pound. Nonetheless, you nuzzled your face into his neck, tightening your hold on him to enjoy his warmth. He smelled like burnt sugar and caramel.

Bakugo was internally screaming. Like actually freaking the fuck out.

Working up the courage to actually ask you to sit on his lap was hard enough, but with you agreeing vehemently? His mind was racing. He was hoping you wouldn't hear his heart thumping out of his chest. And god did having you on his lap feel so damn good. You were so warm and just the perfect size to be sitting on his lap.

Bakugo tried to focus his mind on his calculations as your breathing slowed. Every equation and diagram was starting to become a blur of you. The way you tucked yourself into him, the way you smelled, or how warm your skin was where it met his, clothed albeit, or how your hands were wrapped around his waist, god this was a terrible idea. He thought he would be able to warm you up and work at the same time, but he didn't think you would be this distracting.

You let out a content sigh to which Bakugo panicked, hearing your sultry voice right by his ear would've made him cream his pants on the spot had he not been trying so hard to not be hard.

God fucking damn this shitty woman.

He couldn't take it anymore.

Slowly setting his pencil down, he began debating if he was really going to do this. Once he did, there would be no going back. He was risking your relationship, your friendship. Not just with you, but with Deku, too. How would he react if you and he weren't on speaking terms? Bakugo was desperate, but he didn't want to drive a wedge between himself and his childhood friends.

Fuck it.

Bakugo's hands slowly wrapped around your body, one on your upper back while the other around your lower back, he tightened his hold on you and buried his own face into your neck. He sighed happily.

For a moment, it was peaceful. Just the two of you holding each other in pure silence. It made Bakugo’s head spin.

"K-Kacchan?" You stuttered, unsure as to what he was doing.

He didn't move, wanting to hold you for just a little longer.

You started to wiggle a little bit, trying to at least be free of this crushing hug. Bakugo let you go, allowing you to sit up face-to-face with him.

When your eyes met, all words in your mind blanked. Kacchan's face was shaded a crimson red color, offsetting his red eyes. He didn't look upset, in fact, he looked somber. Like a lost puppy dog waiting to be held and loved.

Sensing no ill-intent, you slowly brought your hand to his face, allowing it to rest against his cheek. Without a second thought, you leaned in to kiss him. Thankfully, he kissed you back, one hand finding your hip while the other rested on the back of your neck. It was soft at first, just enough for you two to explore a little bit.

Your hand trailed down his neck, pulling him closer by his hoodie. Bakugo brought his hands to rest on your hips, rolling his erection against you. The pajama pants you'd chosen to wore definitely had an effect on him.

When you broke the kiss, you rested your forehead against his, catching your breath. Both of you were panting and dizzy from lack of oxygen.

"And here I thought you said we'd never do this again," Bakugo teased, reminding you of the drunken makeout session you two had a few months prior.

"We were drunk, this is different," You replied softly, kissing him again, "Besides, I don't want to just kiss you this time. I have half a mind to fuck you on this chair."

Bakugo's hands rested in the curves of your waist as he kissed you, slowly trailing up and down your curves. Your heated makeout session was short-lived as Bakugo pulled away from your kiss.

"Kacchan?" You asked, unsure of what you did wrong, "Was that not ok?"

"No, y/n that wasn't it," He chuckled, cupping your face, "You're just the greatest fucking distraction and I still have homework to do."

You sighed, upset that it had to end. You started your slow attempt at pulling yourself off Bakugo’s lap to which he firmly grabbed your hips and pulled you back down. He held your hips hard enough to leave bruises. A mischievous look in his eyes appeared as he rolled his hips into yours, grinding his clothed erection against your pussy through the flimsy material of your shorts.

“And where do you think you’re going?” He grumbled.

“You just said-“

“I didn’t say I couldn’t multitask now did I?” He teased.

You let out a breathy laugh, shaking your head at him, "And how do you intend on doing that?"

Bakugo stood up, lifting you with him. You yelped as he set you gently on his desk, no doubt wrinkling some of his papers. He sat back in his chair, slowly spreading your thighs, "You'll see soon enough."

"Is this ok? You're blushing y/n." He asked shyly, his hands rubbing along the outsides of your thighs.

You nodded shyly, running your hands through his spiky hair.

Bakugo leaned forward, lightly kissing your inner thigh, simultaneously grasping your other leg tightly. Bakugo's eyes fluttered shut as he slowly kissed up each of your inner thighs, alternating between one leg and the other as he slowly made his way up to the edges of your pajama pants. Your thighs fell open wider as he worked his way upward, his warm lips against your skin made you tingle.

Bakugo rubbed his mouth against your clothed pussy, a deep chuckle coming from his throat as you let out a shaky moan at the sudden contact. He rose from his desk once more, this time pulling you off it completely. He pulled you in for a kiss, his thumbs hooking in the waistband of your sleep shorts as he started to pull them down. You allowed them to fall, letting Bakugo take in the sight of your lower half.

"No panties?" He questioned, lowering himself to his knees.

"Women aren't supposed to sleep with any on," You explained, "Health reasons."

"Well, that's good to know," He replied.

He pushed you against the edge of his desk, leaving a few kisses on your abdomen before lifting your legs and draping them both around your shoulders. You fell back on your elbows with a yelp.

Bakugo just chuckled at the sight of you, skin already so flushed and slightly warm and he hadn't even really touched you yet.

Bakugo's desire got the best of him as he finally got to see your pussy, already glistening in the light of his desk lamp. He didn't waste any time, licking light languid strokes up the length of your pussy.

"F-Fuck Kacchan," You moaned, your head falling back, "God that feels so good."

Bakugo latched on to your swollen clit, groaning deeply at the taste of your pussy and how you moaned and squirmed beneath him. Your whines and whimpers as he flicking his tongue over your clit aroused him to no end.

He removed a hand from your thigh to palm himself through his sweats, even going as far as pushing his sweats and boxers down in order to jerk himself off while he tasted you.

You continued to moan, oblivious to how Bakugo was also pleasing himself. He enjoyed making you such a mess, your calm composure now crumbling under the weight of his tongue. His hand left your other thigh, replacing his mouth as he caught his breath.

"Fuck kid, you taste so fucking good," He moaned, infatuated with the way your legs began to shake as he rubbed your spit-soaked clit, "I think I could make you cum just from this."

You shook your head furiously, embarrassed at how bold he was being, he was absolutely right though. You would never give him that satisfaction, however.

"No?" He teased, rubbing faster. He brought his other hand to your entrance, slowly teasing you with one finger, "Your body says otherwise, y/n."

"Shut your damn mouth, Kacchan!" You tried to sound angry but just ended up making yourself sound more whiny and desperate.

"Whatever you say," He teased, removing his hand from your clit in order to use his mouth.

He slipped his middle finger into your pussy, reveling at how warm and soft it felt. You ket out a gasp before moaning and whimpering even harder, Bakugo's finger working in a come-hither motion inside of you. Bakugo sucked on your sensitive bundle of nerves once more, increasing the speed at which he was fingering you. When he added another finger, you lost it.

"K-Kacchan!!" You cried out, your thighs closing around his head as your orgasm ripped through you. You were shaking so badly you weren't even sure how your legs were even functioning.

When you came down from your high, Bakugo licked your mess off his lips, wiping the rest off of his chin.

“Alright, back to homework,” he stated, pulling his chair back. He flopped into it, and only now did you realize his sweats and boxers were already off. He fisted his cock slowly, enjoying the view, “You’re on my stuff.”

You scoffed, carefully lifting yourself off of his desk to make sure you didn’t wrinkle any more papers. Awkwardly standing there, Bakugo pulled you towards him, your legs on either side of his as he pulled his shirt off.

You admired his bare chest, looking over every curve and muscle available to your eyes. As Bakugo pumped his cock, eyes up at you, you realized he wanted you to take your shirt off.

“So is this what you meant by multitasking?” You teased, pulling your shirt off in one swift motion.

“I don’t see why your complaining, you get to sit on my cock and be warm,” he purred, groping one of your breasts, “Besides I'm almost done anyway it won’t be too long.”

You rolled your eyes, he was right. Not to mention you were desperate for more contact. Lining his cock up with your entrance, you slowly sank down onto him, enjoying the slow stretch as he bottomed out.

“A-Ah…Kacchan,” You whimpered, tucking your head into his neck and mumbling.

Bakugo couldn’t hear what you said next, he wasn’t even sure what you said was real words, “Didn’t quite hear you, princess.”

You pulled away from him, allowing him to look you in the eyes, “Please fuck me, Kacchan.”

His hands snaked up your waist, groping your breasts as you whined, “Homework first.”

You groaned, wrapping your arms around him as you once again settled into his neck. He chuckled, a hand resting in the small of your back as he turned his attention back towards his homework.

You were dying inside, just wanting to be fucked utterly stupid but having to sit here patiently waiting. You grinned mischievously as you lightly started bouncing in his cock, hoping to gain some sort of friction.

Bakugo’s hands immediately left their place at the desk, one stilling your bouncing while the other delivered a sharp smack to your ass.

“I know how badly you want my cock, but unless you want me to leave you unsatisfied you’ll sit still and wait, got it?” He scolded.

“Nghhh, I wanna ride you,” you whined, “Please, please, Kacchan I need this.”

“Patience.” He reiterated, going back to his work.

You started whining once more, softly sucking on a spot on his neck to keep your mouth busy at the very least. His left hand was wrapped around your waist, holding you still. There was no room to move, otherwise, you would’ve started rolling your hips.

As time went on, Bakugo ignored your desperate pleas and attempts to ride him. You’d marked him, scratched up his back, and begged him to fuck you to no avail. A half-hour had passed, and you were starting to fall asleep in the crook of his neck.

Bakugo secretly finished ten minutes ago, however, the feeling of your walls fluttering around his cock was heavenly. He loved your pathetic attempts at riling him up, how your wetness had soaked the base of his cock, you were still soaked and waiting for him to fuck you.

He noticed you were falling asleep some time ago and didn’t say anything, he just let you doze off so he could enjoy how well you fit around his cock.

You were snapped out of your hazy state when Bakugo thrust up into you, “You did so well, do you want me to fuck you now? Hm?”

You nodded, whining at his sudden movements.

Bakugo reached forward with you still in his lap and turned his desk light off, swallowing the two of you in darkness. He hooked his arms under your thighs, grabbing your ass as he started bouncing you on his cock.

“Fu-uck Kacchan!” You moaned, unable to control your whines and hiccups. Finally being fucked so intensely was already getting to your head.

Bakugo loved how well you were taking his cock, especially when you looked so cute being used as a toy. He was never the degrading type, but something about you being so eager to be used like this really riled him up.

You tucked your head into his neck, trying to keep quiet so the rest of the floor couldn’t hear you. You allowed Bakugo to hear all your moans, every filthy sound, and plea that fell from your lips was right against his ear.

Bakugo stood, walking you the bed and gently setting you down on it, never once pulling out. He pinned your hands above your head as he rolled his hips into you, enjoying the new angle that allowed him to fuck you deeper. Your legs wrapped around his waist, pulling him in.

His hips were moving at a brutal pace, brushing over that oh so sensitive spot you couldn’t reach in your own. You were going to fall apart.

“K-Kach-Chan!” You cried out, “Gonna cum gonna cum!”

You were an incoherent mess, your hole started tightening around Bakugo’s cock as he pistoned into you.

“Cum, y/n,” Bakugo cooed, “Make a mess all over my cock, come on you can do it.”

His praises and encouragement made your head swim, his fingers interlaced with yours just before you came. Filthy curses and pleas left your lips as you creamed all over his cock.

Bakugo was chasing his own release, quick to pull out and cum on your stomach. He pulled you into a searing kiss, enjoying your post-orgasm haze as his hand tightened against yours.

Realizing the mess he made, Bakugo quickly scooped up his discarded shirt, wiping you clean before flopping next to you on the bed.

You were both breathless, lying naked next to each other unable to speak.

When you finally regained your composure, you quickly rolled out of bed, scooping up your clothes and attempting to put them on.

“What are you doing?” Bakugo questioned.

“Getting dressed? I can necessarily walk back to my dorm naked,” You scoffed.

Bakugo quickly slipping his sweats on before grabbing your arm, preventing you from leaving.

“Stay,” he stated, pulling you into another hug, “Please.”

You took your hand off the doorknob, allowing him to hug you, "Ok, I'll stay."

He led you back to the bed, pulling the comforter back so you could both climb into his bed. You laid your head on his chest, tucking yourself into the crook of his neck, wrapping your arm around his shoulder. He pulled the comforter up around you, laying flat on his back as he held you close.

"So," You started, "Is this something we wanna tell people about or?"

"I never really thought about it," Bakugo started, "Kirishima kinda already knew."

"Aww did someone have a little crush?" You teased.

"Shut up," He growled, "Attraction, yes, he knew."

You chuckled, holding him tight, "Well, good thing I was always comfortable with you then."

He let out a hum of approval, closing his eyes. You both fell asleep minutes later.

--

"Yo, Bakugo!" Kirishima called, knocking on the door, "You home?"

Kirishima opened the door, the light streaming into the room.

"Oh," He sighed, smiling at the sight of Bakugo and Y/n finally together, fast asleep, "You lucky bastard, you finally did it."

Kirishima quietly took a picture of the two of you before closing the door, walking away and forgetting he ever saw anything.

[kim-poce]

For the angst or comfort! (I think this could be comfort, although it seems to lean more towards angst)

They flopped onto the bed, a million things running through their head. But all of it could wait until tomorrow, for now they wanted to snuggle down in the soft blankets and sleep.

Angst or Comfort Game - Masterlist

CW: impled past abuse, fear of future abuse.

=-=

They flopped onto the bed, a million things running through their head. But all of it could wait until tomorrow, for now they wanted to snuggle down in the soft blankets and sleep. After all, the problems, the dangers, and everything wrong in their life would still be there the next morning, as it always is, but the comfy blanket and the stranger’s kindness would vanish soon.

Whumpee woke up before the sun rose, they couldn’t remember their nightmare but the cold sweat covering their body made it clear that they had had one, they waited for a bit while holding their breath, hugging the pillow in an attempt of making their heartbeat less loud. They waited for eternal seconds before deciding that the stranger hadn’t woken up, luckily they hadn’t talked in their sleep this time.

They weighed their options, which was so much easier now that the hunger and the exhaustion wasn’t fogging their thoughts.

Option 1: They could stay. They could try their luck with this new person, and see just how much freedom they must give up in order not to anger this unknown person, with unknown temper and rules.

Option 2: They could try to run away. This was risky, and someone as useless as them would have a hard time surviving alone, but at least they would be free, at some level.

Running away was scary, but staying was more, they had to try their luck while the stranger was being kind, because when the facade falls they won’t be able to leave ever again.

“Oh? You are awake.” Said the voice coming from the open door, and Whumpee felt their whole body freezing. They should answer, they should at least turn back and be polite, but they could barely breathe, moving was impossible. “Did I scare you? Sorry.”

They are getting closer they are getting closer they are getting closer they are getting too close they-

Whumpee closed their eyes tightly when the stranger raised their hand just over them, there was no hit, just a small cold touch on their forehead.

“You fever has gone down a bit,” the stranger said, “but you still should rest, are you hurting too much to sleep?”

Whumpee should answer. They didn’t. They couldn’t.

“... I see,” the stranger said, Whumpee had no idea what their were thinking, they hoped they weren’t thinking of anything. It would be great if they just forget Whumpee is there. “It doesn’t seem like you are going to sleep now, so I’ll show you something, okay? You fever is almost gone anyway.”

Whumpee hold back their tears as the stranger lift them, carrying them somewhere else, planning something that Whumpee would only know when it hurt them, they didn’t complain, nor did them resist. They only held in their cry and waited.

Their eyes were still closed but they felt when their left the house, the cold soft night wind caressing their bandaged skin, they felt the stranger placing them down, not in the cold ground, but on a wood bench, the surprise made their eyes open wide, and the sight made them unable to close them.

“Pretty, isn’t it?” the stranger said, wrapping Whumpee with their own coat while glancing at the starred sky. 

How long was it since I took time to look at the sky? How long since I could? It is… pretty, indeed, it’s pretty.

They calmed down enough for the tiredness to slowly have the best of them, as they fell asleep they thought about the plans again. Running away was scary, but staying was more, they had to try their luck while the stranger was being kind, still… they could wait a bit more, they could run away later, for today they only want to sleep, they only want to get a bit comfortable.

=-=

[turtle-to-eternity]

What It's Like to Have Unmedicated ADHD

A little over 2 weeks without my stimulant is going to be rough. But with this last pill, I'm going to describe to you exactly what it's like to be unmedicated with this disorder.

Here is my average day unmedicated, typical of the past 24 years of my life:

I get up an hour late (way better than yesterday!) and sit dehydrated with a painfully dry mouth and a pounding headache for hours. Occasionally I'll glance at my empty water mug and think about how I could refill it by walking 10 feet to the fridge. Even with a full mug, I frequently forget to drink water. Just grabbing the mug and drinking more than a couple seconds is too much, for most times that I even remember it.

As I'm doing this, I stare at the icons on my desktop. I think about how I used to have fun playing Stellaris. Though I can't remember why I stopped, setting everything up to play it again sounds useless and impossible. I go through these thoughts for 10 other games I used to enjoy, before I go to Reddit.

I browse Reddit for a couple hours, opening a new tab for every comment section because I can't stand just looking at one thing at a time. I go through gifs and pictures so rapidly that I don't really absorb any of it. Occasionally, I'll actually start reading something in the comment section. Most times this happens, I'll close the tab while I'm still reading through it, as if my hand had an attention span of its own and I so rudely exceeded it. This might frustrate me enough that I'll open that comment section back up, and then immediately forget why I did, so I close it again.

Then it's time for thinking about the basic self-care I'm supposed to do. About how it's been 3 hours since I've woken up and I've accomplished nothing. I think about how I could just get up and do my stretches so easily. About how if I went to the bathroom and started now, I could bathe and brush my teeth and shave without skipping stuff due to the pressure of getting to work on time. Then, I get on Youtube.

I see some 15 minute video compilation for a game I enjoy, from a creator I enjoy. Maybe it even promises some information I actually care to know. I open a new tab for it, and 7 others for 30 second meme videos I don't care about. Hey, they're so short there's no reason NOT to watch them, right? They're about anime and movies that I've never watched, but I go through them all anyway as if I enjoy it. The fast-paced nature of them is probably the only reason I bother. I open even more of them from recommendations, and continue this for the rest of my pre-work time. By the time I finally stop, my recommendations are full of references to countless pieces of media I have never, and probably will never, consume.

I finally get back to that 15 minute video I actually wanted to watch, but there's no time for it now. I have at most 20 minutes to wash myself and get dressed before I leave. I stress about how I'm about to go to work still dehydrated, and I forgot to brush my teeth for the 4th day in a row, and I haven't clipped my fingernails, and I'm going to have to buy yet another $1 stick of deodorant because I forgot to use any before I rushed outside.

Once at work, I remember I didn't get anything to drink still. I end up having to buy massively overpriced water from the registers, because buying a whole case would look weird and people might comment on it. I realize after walking across the store that my hair looks insane. Nobody said anything to me, probably because I looked at my phone to avoid looking at anyone. Even still, I felt their disdain for me. I don't disagree with it.

For my whole shift, I majorly stress myself out. I get absorbed in one of 2 different kinds of daydreams;

In one kind, I'm often about to be written up or fired. I tearfully scream at my bosses about how when I'm at work I only think about how afraid I am of losing my job. I'll eventually break down and cry about how hard it is just to do my daily routine, let alone work each 8 hour shift efficiently. All the little labels and numbers are so hard to remember let alone find, and I'm put in an unfamiliar area every other day. My focus is pulled to abstract thoughts and daydreams, no matter how hard I try to stay in the present. Usually I work on autopilot, fumbling with each item I put up like a dumb zombie. I can't stop myself from getting like this for long, I can only snap out of it when it's already happened. I feel fear and shame each time, not knowing how much time I've wasted.

They frown and shake their heads at me, like strict parents that caught their kid in the cookie jar. Even as I wipe the sweat out of my eyes they tell me how slowly I work. I rant about how horribly uncaring they are, wearing tight-lipped expressions and speaking in condescending tones as they rip away the financial stability of desperate folks that are trying their best to hold on. That no matter what they tell themselves about only being messengers, the suffering of each person they've fired hangs like rope around their necks.

The other kind of daydream is an idealistic fantasy of how I could start actually doing the things I want to do and earn happiness. I diet like I want to and get fit and attractive, I actually spend time developing interests and realize I have real talents that are useful and appreciable to others. I meet a friend and lover that shares many of my interests and cares about me, and lets me care about them. Often the feelings I get from having these daydreams are intense enough to put me on the verge of tears. Maybe that's why I typically have them when I'm assigned to an isolated spot in the store.

By the time I get home, I am emotionally ruined. I feel stable, but the slightest inconvenience makes me clench my muscles and scream silently until I feel like I've finally had an aneurysm burst. This is when I'm most likely to snap and bite my grandmother's head off, because she's started ranting about Obama or socialism/communism or the vaccine. Or about how the vaccine is socialism and that's why it's bad. Maybe it's because instead of getting me home so I can rest, she's decided to drag me to some fast food joint because she refuses to buy frozen food like I do.

After I get home I throw my clothes aside and put on whatever sweatpants I can grab. After taking 3 different sleeping pills, I fidget and flop around in bed for a few hours, never feeling comfortable.

Eventually, I fall asleep thinking about how I'll do better tomorrow.

[endof-theline]

Day 1 - Early Tropetember: Strangers To Lovers

Okay so I got super excited about Tropetember and forgot how months work, but I already started it sooo here we go! 

Also I’ve not written anything serious in 2 years so please forgive me if it’s a bit rough, hyperfixations are a bitch!

On Ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/32301262

"I can't stand this anymore" Clint groaned as he watched Tony stare at Steve's back while he was cooking breakfast for the team "They have been doing this shit for months"

'This shit' was Steve and Tony tiptoeing around each other constantly since the New York battle that brought them together, the pair barely spoke to each other but were always looking at each other like they hung the stars. At first it was funny and the other Avengers all took bets when they would start dating, but pretty quickly it turned to almost annoying when the pair outlasted the bets and were still almost strangers despite seeming head over heels for each other.

"It's not like we can force them together, Clint" Bruce hissed through his teeth, worried about Tony hearing them even though Tony had tuned everyone out except for Steve's soft humming.

"I mean-" Clint went to suggest but cut himself off when Steve turned around with two plates in his hands, giving the first to Tony before handing the others theirs "Thanks Cap, looks great!"

A chorus of thank yous went around the table as Steve grinned before chuckling "It's no problem, it's nice to relearn this stuff, food tastes better now" 

Despite coming from a time where most food was boiled to hell and back, Steve was becoming a good cook and he tried to cook at least once per day if not twice when it was possible for him to do it. Without knowing it, Steve cooking was the only thing that kept Tony from starving in his workshop since as soon as Tony found out Steve cooks for the team he had been coming up for any meals that Steve had made. 

Natasha tried not to notice as Steve's eyes constantly flicked to Tony as they were eating, always making sure that the resident genius was enjoying the food he cooked, but failed as she held back a sigh and the temptation to knock their heads together.

"So Cap, now that we aren't in any immediate danger, do you think you'll start trying to date around?" Clint asked with a grin, Bruce just shut his eyes with a frown while Natasha, not for the first time, wondered how Clint ever became a spy.

Steve stammered for a second, eyes darting to Tony before darting away when he saw Tony staring at him "C-Can't say that I've thought about it, I-I mean it's not like I need to. I'm not as lonely living here, and I don't think I'd want to date a civilian or anyone from SHIELD either" Steve was completely red in the face as he rubbed the back of his neck, his eyes down awkwardly before looking back up to his team with a nervous smile.

"I get SHIELD, but why not civilian?" Clint asked curiously and smiled innocently when Steve gave him a weird look, Steve cocked an eyebrow but when nothing came of it he sighed.

"Well, for one it would be difficult to explain my job" He laughed as the others all chuckled in agreement "And I don't know, I worry that if it's someone that's not, y'know, like us I might hurt them by accident. I mean, I'm not sure how aware I am of my strength and I wouldn't want to do something to someone who could really get hurt. I patted Tony's shoulder in the suit and almost pushed him over the other week!"

"You didn't hurt me though" Tony piped up for the first time this morning, he was usually pretty quiet in the mornings until he had really woken up but since Steve started making breakfast Tony would stay silent and stare instead.

"But I could have, if you were out the suit then I could really hurt you" Steve stressed as Tony sat up straight and looked the other dead in the eyes.

"Since I'm the closest to a civilian that we've got, I'm excluding Bruce because of the other guy, why don't you practice with me? Just like friendly gestures and stuff so I can tell you if you need to be more careful" Tony suggested as the room went silent, Tony held his chin up slightly even as the tips of his ears started tinting pink "That why you can date a civilian without worrying"

"Y-Yeah alright then" Steve sounded almost a little breathless as he agreed, Tony just gave him a firm nod before loading his empty plate into the dishwasher and leaving the room. Steve, who had been staring fondly at Tony the whole time, shook his head a little and went back to his breakfast as the other three stared at each other in shock at how clueless they both were. 

“Why don’t you practice with me?” Clint mocked in a whiny tone, that was apparently meant to be Tony’s voice, as he let himself into Tony’s workshop and flopped down onto the sofa that was usually Tony’s nap couch “Come on, Tony”

“Shut up, Clint” Tony muttered despite his face going red and his blush only got worse when Clint started to laugh at him “I just want to help, Steve should be able to date anyone he wants to”

“Like you?” Clint teased and got up when Tony’s shoulders hunched slightly “You know I’m only joking, Tony, besides the whole team knows that you have a crush on our fearless leader but he’s oblivious because of the huge crush he has on you”

“Don’t. Don’t say that” Tony’s voice was hard as Clint could see himself building up his walls, Clint put his hand on Tony’s and gently pushed it so he would let go of the screwdriver he was holding with a steel grip “Clint-”

“Nope, you don’t get to block me out and be all sad down here” Clint refused to let the genius talk, Tony getting frustrated easily as Clint kept interrupting him everytime he went to speak because the archer knew it was going to be self-deprecating. Tony sighed in defeat as he let go of the screwdriver and sat back in his chair, eyes going up to Clint that held so much uncertainty there that Clint immediately laced their fingers together and squeezed his hand “I wouldn’t get your hopes up like that for a joke, I’m an asshole but I’m not cruel”

“You’re not an asshole” Tony murmured as he squeezed Clint’s hand back and smiled up to him softly, his eyes drifted away nervously before flicking back to Clint’s face “I want to see if this practice thing works, if it doesn’t maybe I’ll talk to him”

“I can agree to that, just remember that boys show their affection by hitting and pulling pigtails” Clint teased and yelped when Tony took a swing at him, his hand going to his chest with a smile on his face “Aw Tones, I didn’t know you felt like that” Clint cooed at him before screaming as Tony threw the screwdriver at him, running out of the workshop before more things could be hurled his way.

Tony flopped back into his chair and rubbed his hands over his face with a groan, smudging oil and grease everywhere. Pepper was right, of course she was, Pepper was always right. Tony was hopeless when he actually liked someone and didn’t just want to take them to bed, he always got the same way of heart eyes and stupid smiles and getting shy about it.

When he was trying to flirt with Pepper, it had been the same way and it was just lucky that Pepper knew him so well to understand why his attitude changed around her. Steve was practically a stranger living in his home, the second Tony had seen him fighting with Loki in Germany he had to focus on anything else than the way Steve matched his height in the suit.

“Fuck” Tony groaned out into the empty room, feeling his heart race as he thought about Steve even being close to him let alone putting a hand on him. Out of the suit, Tony was shorter than average and you wouldn’t even be able to tell unless you caught him without shoes, which was rare, since he had lifts in all of his shoes. Steve would tower over him and just the thought of Tony having to go up onto his tiptoes as Steve had to lean down to meet each other's eyeline was enough to make him blush.

Oh he was so screwed, though little did Tony know that Natasha and Steve were having a very similar talk in the kitchen. Steve’s face a matching shade of pink to Tony’s and a rather smug look on Natasha’s face that probably would have matched Clint’s if Tony had chased him out.

The next week was torture for everyone that had to witness it. Steve had taken the excuse of practice and run a marathon with it, he was using every opportunity to touch Tony in some way which, naturally, just made Tony smile as the butterflies in his chest doubled. The rest of the team could only despair as they watched the pair falling for each other harder and harder everyday, they were close to locking them in the gym and not letting them out until they kissed.

Which, being the one brain-celled team that they were, happened at the end of week two. Tony had almost swallowed his tongue when Steve had patted his shoulder, his hand slipping a little closer to his neck and gently squeezing before walking away. It was past cute and getting past plain stupid as the pair danced around each other. So they did what any normal friends would do and locked them in the gym together, telling JARVIS to keep the door locked until they had talked it out.

“Natasha!” Steve shouted as he pounded on the door again, Tony just sat on the bench with his head in his hands “Natasha!”

“Stop Steve, they’re not gonna open it until we talk” Tony sighed and looked over when the bench dipped beside him, Steve flopping down next to him with a huff and scrubbing his face with his hands. He pulled his hands away and scrunched his nose up in disgust before grabbing the hem of his shirt and using it to wipe at his face, getting rid of the slight sheen of sweat from his workout that he had been in the middle of when Tony had been pushed into the gym.

Tony’s face went bright red as he caught himself staring at Steve’s abs, his eyes darting to Steve’s face to make sure he hadn’t been caught by the other man who had shut his eyes as he dropped his shirt.

“I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable, Tony” Steve said as he frowned up at the ceiling, eyes still closed so he couldn’t see Tony’s own frown and confused look “I know I shouldn’t have kept doing it when I realised you were uncomfortable, but-”

“What are you talking about?” Tony interrupted and Steve looked over so that they were just frowning at each other, Steve shifted to sit up properly and now that they were sitting next to each other it was clear to see their height difference without Tony’s lifts.

“The ‘practicing’” Steve said with air quotes that made Tony’s lip twitch into a small smile “You always go red and avoid looking at me, you’re obviously uncomfortable with me touching you even if I’m not hurting you”

“Okay that is completely wrong to start off with” Tony held up his hand before Steve could make himself feel even worse because it was pretty clear by his face and what he said that Steve was feeling pretty guilty about something that the blonde had made up “You definitely don’t make me uncomfortable and you also haven’t hurt me before you start worrying about that too”

“Then why do you always look awkward when I’m around, you go all quiet whenever I walk into the room?” Steve asked, still sounding insecure about the answer as his shoulders hunched over a little. Sat like this, Tony could picture Steve before the serum as girls blatantly regretted him like Howard had told him had happened in a drunken drawl on a night where his father was sad instead of angry.

“It’s, uh, really the opposite situation actually. You, uh, I mean-” Tony stammered for a moment before letting out the breath he was accidentally holding “I may have a small, well not really small, crush on you. I, um, I really like you Steve”

Tony kept his head down as the blush burned his face, his ears going red as he stared at his lap nervously, he startled when his chin was tilted up gently with the back of Steve’s hand under his chin so that he was looking up to Steve’s soft, almost fond, smile.

“You don’t know how happy I am to hear that” Steve whispered into the space between them, he bent down and gently rested his forehead against Tony’s with a smile that almost looked like it hurt “I really like you too, have done for a long time”

Tony smiled bashfully, his eyes darting away before going back up to Steve’s face, only to see that it was somehow a fonder look in his eyes and a knowing smile as he realised why Tony acted the way he did “Pepper says I’m hopeless when I like people, says that I change completely”

“Pepper’s right, but it’s nice, it’s like I get to see a side of you that no one else gets to see” Steve hummed softly which just made Tony blush harder as Steve cupped Tony’s cheek with a question in his eyes, Tony nodded against his forehead with a soft gasp “You sure, ‘cause I don’t think I want to let you go?”

“M’sure, I don’t want you to let go” Tony whispered, still feeling breathless as he stared up into Steve’s crystal blue eyes. Tony’s hand shot out to hold Steve’s wrist when the latter pressed a kiss to his lips, soft and careful and amazing, Tony couldn’t help the soft noise that escaped him as he leaned into the kiss and deepened it like he was dying. It had been a long time since anyone had kissed Tony with such care and fondness, used to the fast, hungry kisses from hookups and harsh touches compared to Steve’s soft hands cradling his face.

Outside the room, the rest of the team were celebrating despite the fact that they knew the pair were going to be disgustingly cute and fluffy with each other all the time, but at least now there wasn’t the sadness and pining going along with it. JARVIS unlocked the door silently and sent an automatic message to Pepper in their own celebration, it was something Pepper and Tony had set up after drinking far too much wine while Tony had been moping around about Steve and had thought today would never happen. 

Today was a day to celebrate, even if tomorrow most of the team would regret it with how overly fluffy the pair were together, today was a long time coming and, hopefully, the two would stand the test of time to come.

[marvels-writings]

Rumor Has It (3)

| Part 1 | Part 2 | 

Series Masterlist

Carol Danvers Masterlist

Harry Potter screaming was the thing that woke you up, surprisingly enough. You lifted your head off of whatever you were leaning on, feeling Carol’s head fall onto her shoulder. You smirked slightly, observing the moment before she woke up. 

Surprisingly, Carol was still asleep, she seemed more relaxed than you had ever seen her, you smiled softly at the sight and turned the volume down on the TV until it was almost muted. You put a small pillow between Carol’s shoulder and neck so she won’t get the same neck cramp that you have. You noisily cracked your neck on your way to the bathroom. 

You changed and were in the middle of brushing your teeth in your grey sweatpants, cute grey penguin socks and faded blue hoodie when you heard the TV switch off. Confused, you walked outside with your hair in a messy bun and your toothbrush in your mouth to find Carol staring at you amusedly, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes and wincing when she tried to stretch her neck. “You could’ve woken me up.” You joked, the words coming out weird with the toothbrush in your mouth. 

“I didn’t want to disturb you.” Carol muttered, still rubbing the sleep out of her eyes, her face in a light pink blush at seeing you in this state. Hardly anyone got to see you, one of SHIELD’s top dogs in pajamas and penguin socks, it made her smile a little. 

“Your loss.” You replied, walking back in while brushing your teeth, spitting and mouth washing before walking into the bedroom, glancing over the mission files quickly. 

“I’m gonna get some beer from the fridge, want anything?” Carol asked, getting off the bed and walking over to the mini fridge. 

“No thanks, maybe something with chocolate if there is anything.” You answered, Carol chuckled slightly and found a medium sized packet of Chips Ahoy. 

“There’s this.” Carol offered, throwing the bag at you, you caught it smoothly and grinned when you saw the packet. 

“Oh my god I love this place.” You exclaimed, sitting down on the bed and glancing at the clock. It was well past midnight and the mission started tomorrow. Carol laughed and sipped her beer before flopping down next to you. 

“Drinking before a mission?” You asked, eating your cookies while looking at Carol with feigned disappointment. 

“Human alcoholic drinks don’t affect me too much.” Carol explained, taking a sip again. 

“Thought you’d be more of a whiskey person.” You said with a shrug, eating your cookies and leaning back against the headboard. 

“Thought you’d be more of an adult.” Carol joked, gesturing to the chips ahoy in your hand. 

“Best snacks made by humans do NOT have an age limit.” You joked, smacking her arm lightly before offering her one. Carol shrugged and took one, her eyes widening slightly at the taste. 

“This is better than oreos.” Carol muttered before grabbing a few out of the bag. 

“‘Thought you’d be more of an adult.’” You mimicked, finishing the bag and tossing the wrapper in the trash can successfully. 

“At least I have an adult drink.” Carol retorted, then added, “Want some warm milk with that?”

You rolled your eyes and lay down, turning away from Carol while holding your pillow and lying down on your stomach comfortable, the pillow tucked into the crook of your shoulder. 

“I’m gonna sleep before you can offer a pacifier too,” You joked, murmuring sleepily, pulling the blanket on top of yourself. Carol stared at how uncaring you were with what she thought about you. 

“You can sleep on the couch if you’re that adamant about personal space,” You retorted, before Carol could say something back you cut her off. “Goodnight Carol.” Carol rolled her eyes at you, knowing you couldn’t see the action. 

“Goodnight y/n.” She answered, watching the steady rise and fall of your body for a few seconds before chugging her beer and throwing it in the recycle can and debating where to sleep. 

If she slept on the couch she doubted you would care, but at the same time there’s vomit stains on the couch and some other stains she would rather not have the explanation to on the pillows. If she slept on the bed, she might end up embarrassing herself somehow. She had recurring nightmares way too often, Carol remembered burning through the bed once. 

She changed into a grey tank top with rather thick straps and black sweatpants before joining you. 

Even though you weren’t someone who Carol saw the need to impress, the need was starting to make itself imminent. Carol sighed and hoped she wouldn’t have a nightmare before lying down next to you, letting your steady breathing lull her to sleep. 

 -~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-

This time, instead of Harry Potter you awoke to the feeling of being right next to a heater on a summer’s day in the middle of an earthquake on top of a bed. Definitely one of the weirdest feelings you’ve woken up to, maybe the weirdest. 

You sat up quickly and looked around in the dark, when you saw golden wisps coming from next to and murmuring, you switched on the light next to you. The light illuminated a sweaty Carol turning from side to side, her hair plastered to her forehead, the blankets cocooning her and her powers getting a bit out of hand. 

“Carol,” You said quietly, reaching one hand out to shake her shoulder gently. Carol stopped struggling a little but then it grew worse, much worse. You knew waking her up would scare her more than anything so you tried something else. 

You gently started running your fingers along her scalp, then through her hair before repeating the action. Carol’s turning slowed rapidly, so did the heat coming off from her body. You could see her fluttering eyes also start to slow a bit as did her breathing. 

You smiled softly and continued repeating the action, marvelling at how soft her hair was. You heard Carol’s breathing pick up and the fluttering begin to increase and you knew she was about to wake up, you put the hand which was in her hair on her shoulder, pretending you had woken her up like a normal person. 

Carol’s eyes opened slowly, revealing her gorgeous hazel eyes filled with confusion, her brow furrowed as she sat up, tousling her hair as you took your hand off of her shoulder.

“What the hell happened?” She demanded softly, staring at her feet before pulling her knees up to her chest. 

“You were sweating and turning, your powers started to get a little out of hand so I woke you up.” You explained, looking at her with concern, you rested one hand on her shoulder to get her attention, her head snapped to you. 

Carol looked more scared than you’ve ever seen her. She had the expression of a cornered animal, terrified out of her mind. She calmed slightly while looking at you but not really, you felt her body shaking slightly as well as the sweat on her arm. 

“I know I’m probably not the best person,” You scratched your neck with your free hand. “But do you wanna talk about it?” You looked at her with sincerity, meaning every word you said. 

“I, I really don’t know.” Carol sighed, taking a deep breath in and crossing her legs instead, tousling her hair with her other hand. 

“What was it about?” You asked softly, taking your hand away from her shoulder and crossing your legs, prepared to stay up all night if you needed to, you glanced quickly at the clock and saw it was 4:30 in the morning. 

“Hala, the kree found me again,” Carol mumbled, staring at the mattress instead of you. “They attacked SHIELD, everyone I care about, they killed.” 

“Can I touch you?” You asked softly, knowing physical contact grounded most people but you saw the need to ask. Carol looked at you like you were insane but shrugged with a small sure. 

You reached out timidly and trailed your fingers down her forearm, leaving tingles everywhere, before taking Carol’s hand, your forearm resting on top of Carol’s. You comfortingly stroked her knuckles, almost as if gesturing for her to continue. She barely could through her blush. 

“That was about it.” Carol lied, she wouldn’t tell you about how she almost died trying to protect everyone, how she killed Yon-Rogg the second he laid a hand on you. When she saw you, Fury, Maria, everyone she cared about dead because of her, it tore her apart. 

She knew Hala could never track her, would never track her, they knew she was more powerful than they ever knew. But still, it was a possibility she could lose everything she has. 

“Well, I can distract you by rambling about something, play some music, dance, or well why don’t you choose.” You whispered. Carol couldn’t help but laugh at that, she leaned back against the headboard, you were probably the only person to make her smile after a nightmare. 

‘Maybe this could work out’ Carol thought, smiling softly at the thought while watching your joined hands. 

Tag list:  @capcarolsdanver​, @versdan​, @lesbian-girls-wayhaught​, @lovebotlarson​, @dhengkt​, @5aftermidnight​, @hstoria​, @natasha-danvers​, @veryfunnyal​, let me know if you’d like to be in any of my tag lists!

A/N: I meant for this to be angsty but i wasn’t in the mood. Feedback is amazing, as always, and requests are open even tho it may take me awhile to answer them and i swear the actual SONG Rumor Has It by Adele started playing when I finished

| Part 4 |

[zxanthe]

laughter

late entry for @soulxmakaweek day 4. life sure does have a way of happening but i wanna finish the week out anyway!

also available on ao3 and ff.net

On the day that Maka turns fourteen, the AC breaks. She’s woken up by Blair meowing morosely from the floor, and mumbles something indistinct that was supposed to be please be quiet but instead gets drowned in the realization that she is drenched in sweat. She sits up, yawning, registering the hot, still texture of the air within the apartment as she does so, before Blair jumps into her lap and stares at her with wide, urgent golden eyes.

“Maka,” she says, “Bu-tan is hot.”

Soul’s bedroom door is open when she finally shuffles out of her room. His window is open wide, curtains hanging limp and inert. The boy himself is sprawled on the floor in nothing but a pair of boxer shorts, snoring softly. Maka shakes her head and grabs a pillow from the living room couch to throw at him.

“Nnnnnurgh,” he grumbles, shoving it off. “Go’way I’m tired.”

Maka averts her eyes when Blair shifts to human form on top of him, unabashedly nude. She wanders to the kitchen, rolling her eyes when he starts yelling a few moments later.

He drifts after her eventually, once she’s gotten halfway through a bowl of cheerios. “Have you called the maintenance people yet?” Soul asks.

“It’s Saturday,” Maka points out dryly. “They’re only open on weekdays.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Soul groans. “There’s gotta be other companies!”

“There are, but they’re out of our budget. Plus this one offers discounts to DWMA students.”

Soul grumbles inarticulately and flops down at the table opposite her with his own bowl of cereal. “It’s July,” he says morosely. “In the desert.”

“You’ve had worse.”

“No, I haven’t. This is awful.”

“Oh, suck it up, you big baby.”

“I mean, we have more money now, don’t we? Because of…all the missions, lately.”

She sighs. Ever since the Kishin was released things haven’t really been the same. The mission board has never been fuller. Reports of strange and disturbing events are coming in from all over the world. She’s never really been susceptible to madness before, but ever since that Clown…she suppresses a shiver. She’s been having nightmares, waking up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night because she dreamt that Soul was cut in two or Tsubaki had her soul yanked out of her chest or Black Star was hanging limply from a blade pushed brutally through his stomach. She puts her spoon down, appetite dulled.

“We do,” she concedes, “but I think it’s smarter to save it. You never know what could happen.”

Soul is squinting at her, brows furrowed. “You okay?” he asks after a few moments.

Maka forces a smile. “Yeah, I’m fine!”

“I can hear you crying at night,” he says flatly. “You’re not exactly quiet.”

“Oh, well excuse me for disturbing your beauty sleep!” she spits, and gets to her feet.

Soul catches her wrist on her way to dump the remains of her breakfast down the sink. “I didn’t mean it like that, dummy,” he says gruffly. “I’m worried. About you.”

Maka bites her lip.

“Don’t look at me like that,” he grumbles. “If you’re not in tip-top shape then we can’t kill as many monsters and get more money to fix that damn AC. Happy birthday, by the way.”

His face is a little flushed. She doesn’t know if it’s because of the heat or embarrassment, but it makes her smile anyway. Dork. “Thanks,” she says, and when she sits back down at the table she tells him about her nightmares.

“Yeesh,” Soul says. “That’s some bullshit.”

“Yeah,” she says. “I know they’re not real, but they’re super vivid. I think it’s just residual effects from the Clown’s madness. They’ll go away eventually.”

“Well yeah, but that’s doesn’t make them any less fucked up.” Soul frowns thoughtfully and then gets up and opens the freezer. A blissful smile crosses his face.

“Hey, don’t keep that open for too long! It’s not good for the freezer or the food and it wastes electricity!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Soul says, and then pulls out a big tub of vanilla ice cream. He plonks it down in the middle of the table along with two spoons.

“What?” he asks, and then his face flushes again and he looks away. “What’s with that face?”

“Ice cream?” Maka asks, nonplussed. “Soul, it’s 10 in the morning.”

“Yeah, and? My gran, she’d…she’d always give us ice cream when we were sad.”

She can’t help the laugh that bursts out of her. Soul’s eyes dart to hers and then he exhales a laugh of his own. “Yeah, it’s kinda childish,” he says. “But it’s hot and who cares, nobody’s around to stop us.”

“That’s true,” says Maka. “Plus it’s my birthday, and that means I can do whatever I want.”

They make it about halfway through the tub, and by the end of it Maka feels considerably happier than she did at the start of the morning. Even the heat doesn’t feel quite so bad. Soul’s gran has a point. She wonders distantly if Soul would ever let her meet her one day, so she can say thank you. Soul and Maka move to the couch, and Soul puts on a movie they rented last week, and they’re crying laughing within a few moments at how bad it is.

Tsubaki and Black Star phone in from Japan at around 1 with birthday wishes. “We should be coming back in around two weeks or so, maybe less,” says Tsubaki, her voice staticky with distance. “Tanjoubi omedetou, Maka-chan.”

“Arigato, Tsubaki-chan!” Maka replies, smiling, and then recoils when Black Star bellows at full volume, “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ALBARN! I’M GONNA KICK THE CRAP OUT OF YOUR STUPID AC FOR DARING TO BREAK ON BLACK STAR-SAMA’S BEST FRIEND’S BIRTHDAY!”

She laughs. “I can hear you, Star, no need to yell!”

“I WANNA TALK TO SOUL!! DID HE PICK UP MY GAMECUBE? HAS HE BEEN PLAYING ANIMAL CROSSING FOR ME?”

Maka hands the phone off. “Yeah, bro,” Soul says. “I’m pretty fuckin’ proud of it, too.”

“It’s such a cute game!” Maka exclaims, snatching the phone back from Soul. “You guys better bring back a Japanese copy for us!”

“Of course,” says Tsubaki.

Kid calls them later that afternoon, inviting them over to his mansion for tea. Maka is all too glad to have an excuse to leave the stifling apartment. When she gets there, Patty showers her in confetti and Kid reveals an elaborate cake with a flourish. They stay until it gets dark, when the night is slightly more bearable, and then they make their way home, laden with cake and presents.

“I’m surprised that Kid remembered,” Maka comments as they walk. “I don’t think I’ve ever told him my birthday.”

“No?” Soul shoots her a glance.

Maka narrows her eyes. “Did you tell them?”

Soul shrugs. “Dunno. Maybe.”

“You’re sweet.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever.”

The sound of her laughter follows them home.

[stevenuniversetanzanite]

The Angel Among Us (Cordelia X reader) Part 2

(This chapter has been rewritten/ edited since original post)

General Notice: I’m trying to get more works out during this time that is rough for all of us. That being said I am trying to keep it’s quality up.

This is technically a prequel to Fallen Angel (Work in progress), however it can be read as a stand alone series.

Summary:

If your reading as a stand alone: A witch heads back to Miss Robichaux's 20 years after she left in hopes of being a teacher there. The only problem is she hasn’t aged a day.

If your from Fallen Angel: The event’s leading up to Y/N joining Michael and the Cooperative.

I’m trying something with this and I’m not sure how it’s going to work so any feedback will be appreciated whether through comments, or anon asks. I did something similar in my Gone and left your world series were it had ~~~ in it and it either jumped, went to a flashback or dream. I did that here and it’s for the past/dream. 

This was originally going to be three different small chapters but wanted to reduce the number of chapters and decided to explain stuff I couldn’t through the ‘present’ basically context and junk. 

as these parts are split up I can make a post where there all together and link it here if anyone wants. 

Also they are so many parallels from my other series and some weren’t intentional.

Warnings: Slight smut, nightmare, murder and all that good stuff. (Everything is tame)

Parts: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 , Part 4(will be added when done)

She gave you the job without a second thought, thrilled to have her friend back in her life. This time around, it was different. The way she interacted with you, there was more behind every touch, every word she said. You had danced around your feelings for her from the second you fell for her. You didn't know you were gay; you had never liked anyone before and haven't since. Maybe you weren't. Maybe it was just her. She was the only thing your heart desired. No one else seemed appealing. She was straight, she got married to a man and a vile man at that. No one liked him in Cordelia's close circle, but you were all nice for her sake. However, her mother was always vocal about how he detested the man. She wasn't the hugest fan of you either, but you had something worth wide in her eyes, power.

You weren't one to force your feelings upon people, you didn't want to burden her with the knowledge that her long-time best friend was in love with her. Knowing how she was back then; she would blame herself for you falling for her. You didn't want that. Keeping it a secret was better.

She asked you about your time away, but you were reluctant to tell. It was a blur, nothing notable ever happened or at least that's what you told her. "I spent most of your time at your flat." And some ramblings on about jobs so she didn't grow concerned.

You were offered a job here a few years back by her mother about the time Cordelia was blinded. You jumped at the opportunity but as you went to take the job, the balance of the world shifted. Something dark was living on our earth and growing with power. You tasked yourself with discovering it before it discovered your fellow witches or any other good on the planet.

Something told you that the answer to some of your woes would be found with the source of power. The self-appointment job was a failure and you found yourself at the place you ditched it for.

It had been a couple of weeks since you got hired. You sat cross-legged in Cordelia's room on the love seat marking some of the girls' work. Papers scattered on the ground and the couch you had been sleeping on. Cordelia had yet to give you a bedroom.

"Are you sure you're comfortable on the love seat? Wouldn't you prefer sleeping on the bed?" She would say. Her desire for you to join her on the bed masked in such a way that your tired brain couldn't register as her quietly begging for you to join her. In your head, she was still married. She had mentioned multiple times that her and her ex broke up but a month or two doesn't rewrite years in your mind.

You had finished your marking an hour ago and had moved onto Zoe's to ease her workload. She managed to get behind, having double the classes you had that day as well as having to plan her work next week. You thought it was a nice thing to do. While, you were trying to distract your brain. Stopping working forced you to think and that hadn't gone well for you in the past. Countless nights spent in denial, regretting what could have been if only you had spoken up. Stayed away from the school. Ignored your mother's letter. Those thoughts were less common now. Instead, your mind flooded with thoughts of what was wrong with your body. Why your growth had remained preserved at the ripe age of 18- if that.

You threw another log on the fire before heading back to the marking. You focused on the flames using your pyrokinesis to refuel the fire. You smiled at a successful job done. Another hour passed and you were struggling to keep your eyes open. Strong hands gripped your shoulders.

"You're still up Y/N/N?" You looked over your shoulder to face Cordelia. "It's nearly 3."

You checked your watch. She was right, you didn't notice the time pass.

"I'm marking-"

"Zoe's work. I know, she informed me." Cordelia gathered some of the work on the seat moving it to the floor.

"Don't put them near the unmarked ones," you call out as she does so. She moved them instantly away from the unmarked ones. Taking the seat next to you, she removed the paper and pen from your hands and set it with the other papers. "Delia?"

She shushed you, pulling you closer to her. The two of you stared at the fireplace, the crackling of fire was the only sound in the room. The students were long asleep as the two of you should have been. She shuffled even closer to you. She eased your head into her shoulder, her hand finding it's place in on your head, playing with your locks.

"I appreciate that you offered to help Zoe with her work, but you do need a break too-"

"I get breaks-"

"That don't involve studying magic?" Okay maybe not. She knew you too well. Magic was your life, what else do you need? "You barely get any proper sleep. You sleep on this uncomfortable chair which is too small for you to sleep on."

"It's fine-"

"No, it's not. You're sleeping on my bed tonight. No question."

"Where will you sleep?"

"On my bed."

"But-"

"It's big enough for the two of us and it's not the first time we've shared a bed." You blushed thinking back on the few times you've shared a bed with her. Cordelia chuckled at your reaction. "You're too cute." You got redder. You begged her to stop but she kept going. She eventually ended it when you got too loud but not before she attacked you with tickles. You both were dying of laughter, you were surprised no one came to see what was going on. "Okay, bedtime." She patted your leg before rising from her spot. She laid a handout for you to take it. You yawned. "Come on captain sleepy."

"That was stupid."

"Shut up."

You yawned again, "A goodnight's sleep does sound nice and your bed is really soft."

Cordelia led you into her wardrobe, forcing you to rest on an ottoman while she retrieved pyjamas for you. She came back to you half asleep propped up against the wall. She chuckled not wanting to wake you up. She ended up shaking you awake lightly, handing you the a long sleeve shirt and pants. Without complaint, you changed into the clothes as she got herself ready for bed.

Once tucked comfortably into her bed, you wiggled about to get comfortable. She hopped in beside you, pulling you closer to her before she covered herself in her sheets. You stilled and cleared your mind for a peaceful slumber. As the night progressed you found yourself growing closer to the warm body beside you.

~~~

"Catch her! Stop Y/N!" People shouted as you ran through people's heaven's gate crashing and accidentally destroying them in the process. You jumped from room to room, hiding amongst people's belongings to lose the guards chasing you.

The group zoomed past. You sighed before stepping out of your hideaway. The air was musky, you got the sense you weren't home anymore. Your powers were unhinged, unable to control them was becoming more dangerous than ever. Accidentally transmuting into an unknown location was never good.

You've stepped into the devil's den.

You wandered, getting your bearings. It was all too new to you, how where you expected to follow along?

You stumbled into him, the man you were designed after.

~~~

You screamed, bolting upright in the bed. Your legs bend and move closer to your chest. The think sheets flopped off the top part of your body, pooling at your lap. Your upper torso and head drenched in a layer of sweat. Your hands flew to her head, covering your eyes from the monstrosity you saw in your dream.

The light on the bedside table closest to Cordelia switched on.

It wasn't the first time Cordelia had woken from someone having night terrors. In a school with a wide range of ages, it was more common than you'd think. The younger girls had them the most, as you would expect. Their minds were more active but even the older ones had them from time to time. Some of the girls were unfortunately exposed to trauma while growing up, being unaccepted for who they were as a witch. What she didn't expect was for the reaction to be so jarring. The sudden snap from unconsciousness to conscious was difficult for her body to handle. She needed a second to wrap her brain around the situation which was something she didn't want to do.

"Y/N, look at me."

You shook your head, beginning to rock back and forth. You mumbled out incoherently, describing the beast you saw. It was horrifying.

She asked if she could touch you when you didn't respond she slowly reached out until she made contact. You didn't flinch away (which she took as a good sign) nor did you move towards her touch. Ever so gently, she eased your hands away from your face, revealing your blotchy face and irritated eyes.

Your eyes flickered open, taking in the room around you. The face was gone. Feeling the weight of a hand on your shoulder, you turned Cordelia.

The door opened revealing three girls checking in on their headmistress and her roommate. They heard screams and wanted to make sure nothing bad happened.

"What happened?", "Is everything alright?" the girls asked.

"Nightmare. Can one of you head to the bathroom and run a hot bath?" Mallory sneaked past to fulfil the request. Delicately, Cordelia moved you closer to her. If there was any sign of apprehension, she would stop and resume once you were comfortable. "Shh, everything's okay. You are safe. Nothing's going to hurt you."

You sobbed, occasionally choking while trying to get a breath in.

"I-I s-saw evil," you stuttered out. "H-he greet-ed 'e w-ith o-open-"

What scared you the most was how you felt when gazing at evil itself. There was a void in your soul and bearing witness to the being began the healing process. The wound like while was tender but the pain that came along with it was gone.

"Shh. Take a moment to catch your breath."

"I-I was in hell-"

"It must have been terrifying but your back now, with us," Cordelia said. You knew wasn't trying to be condescending but you felt like she was.

Mallory notified Cordelia when the bath was finished. The supreme thanked the girl. You had calmed down significantly since then. Zoe and the other girl, information anyone who was awoken by your screams that you were okay, and it was safe to go back to bed.

The bathwater was warm against your skin, relieving you of the dirty feeling you can only get from being drenched in sweat. Cordelia remained by your side as you begged her to be though she was reluctant to leave herself.

The times were few and far between when you would freak out as you did tonight. At least in Cordelia's eyes, she rarely had you complain about any major problems or come to her for some level of consolement.

"It felt so... real."

"Dreams usually do."

"I guess I can't get a good sleep even on a good bed."

"So, you liked the bed?"

"I said I liked it before."

"Yeah, you did, didn't you? Would you consider moving to it permanently?"

"You want me to share a bed with you?" Cordelia nodded. You chuckled. "I don't know how you expect me to keep my hands off you- I mean-" Cordelia looked up at you grinning. "Wait, have you purposely not given me a room?"

"You know as well as I do, there are beds to spare."

"You're evil. You forced me to sleep on that couch."

"You chose to sleep there, darling."

"'Darling', what are an old married couple now?"

"Weren't we always?"

"What the fuck Cordelia?"

~~~

You, the 2.0, crafted in his likeness with the removal of his ill-intent. You knew what you were, they didn't bother hiding that. You knew him to be pure evil, corrupter of God's plan.

Free will, something you weren't allowed to have. We were all meant to be subservient to the Lord. He, the morning star, was the first to be cast out of heaven. He was defiant, not agreeing with god. All he would've had to do was simply said "I sinned, I submit, please forgive me", and the matter would've been resolved. But he was too arrogant, feeling too proud to bow down. He used his own logic and blamed God for misguiding him. Why would God give them knowledge if they weren't meant to use it?

~~~

Cordelia had been going on a lot of emergency meetings through your time at the school. Some appeared to be beneficial, like the time she first went and returned with two girls (Queenie and Madison) whom you were informed later on had died under her care. Unbeknown to you, you were replacing one of their jobs.

You heard about the boy's school from the woman who attended but remained in the dark about the specifics, being told it was council business and to "not worry you pretty little head," by Cordelia. You reckoned you had a right to know if it concerned the students or Cordelia's (as your unofficial girlfriend) wellbeing in any way but she denied that it did. You stupidly accepted her answer convinced that she would tell you when something goes awry.

You got on incredibly well with Queenie. You had some of the same favourite tv shows and she had many interesting stories to tell about her time trapped as a ghost in the Hotel Cortez. You happened to be a supernatural nut which explained your love for everything magical. You may have bombarded her with way too many questions about what it was like to be a ghost, people had to pull you away in order for you to leave her alone. She filled you in on her side of attending the school, adding in all the juicy gossip that Zoe and Cordelia left out.

Madison was hesitant to interact with you. You were the young hip teacher that happened to join after she died. You mean she didn't have to be stuck with Cordelia holding them back the whole time? You hadn't interacted with her until the fifth night after your initial introduction. She was in the kitchen raiding the liquor cabinet.

"I wouldn't drink that one if I were you. Cordelia will have your head if you open that one."

"Like I care," she said breaking open the bottle of expensive white wine.

"At least pour me a glass if you aren't going to listen to my warning."

She groaned, pulling out two wine glasses and pouring you both a lot. The two of you talked about everything and nothing. You'd finished the bottle by the time you'd retire for the night. You made sure she made it to bed safely before retiring for the night. You were all giddy by the time you stumbled into Cordelia's room. The woman was bundled up under the blankets with a book in her hand. She took one look at you and shook her head, "Madison?"

"Madison," you confirmed, flopping onto the bed giving Cordelia little time for her to move her legs out of the way. "She drank your wine."

"All of it?"

"I had some too."

"I noticed."

"Told her I'd pay you back for it." You scrambled up, crawling on top of her. "I never told her how," you purred, leaning down and taking Cordelia's lips for yourself. Your tongue tasted of the wine. You took no time building into the passion of the kiss. She moaned, re-adjusting how she rested beneath you. You pulled away, murmuring "Would you like that?"

"Yes," she moaned.

You made your way down her body, removing any fabric that got in your path. You paused, seeing the wound on her abdomen. The skin surrounding it was irritated and bruised. What you assumed was a scab concaved into her. Cordelia whined asking why you had stopped. In need for more she forgot about the mark of her fading on her body. She'd hidden it well from you this far, always having that area dressed.

You shook off all the questions you wanted to ask her, instead giving her what she is owed. No reason to ruin the night for the sake of feeding your curiosity. You took your time liking and sucking the right places to turn her into a bumbling mess beneath you. She cried out for more attention. She recalled hearing the click of the door locking but knowing it wasn't her to do it. She wondered if you were going to soundproof the room too.

"Scream for me baby. Scream so the whole coven can hear."

In the little time the two of you had been a thing, you'd kept any PDA behind the close door of your shared bedroom. Anything fun you had, the noise was kept to a minimum or the room was soundproofed in advance. All those times, Cordelia had been in charge. She didn't want to ruin her reputation and didn't want any of the girls to know what she does in her spare time. You, in your tipsy state, was overcome with a newfound level of confidence. It was as though you were someone else feeding off your need to please the woman you'd been in love with for years.

The next morning you were down bright and earlier. Your chipper self poured a cup of coffee before making your way to where Zoe, Queenie and Madison were. They all turn their attention to you the moment you walk in. "I paid her back," you said, directed to Madison as you took her seat at the table. Madison looked slightly horrified (and maybe even impressed?) at you.

"How long do you think it will take her to come downstairs?"

"She's already late."

"I wouldn't expect her to be down any time soon, I wore her out last night."

"Too much detail," Zoe said. The other two laughed.

Fifteen minutes before the students were expected to be getting up, Cordelia rushed into the room. She tried to play it off as calm and collective but she was stressing about being behind schedule.

"Sorry about being late, I slept through my alarm."

"Didn't you get much sleep last night?" Queenie asked, her and Madison were trying to suppress their laugh.

Cordelia deadpanned to you, "You told them, didn't you?"

"Didn't have too, we heard it all," Madison said.

"Oh God, the students. Y/N, what were you thinking?"

"Delia, they're all old enough to know about sex."

"It doesn't mean they should be forced to hear that." You got up and headed to the kitchen before she could scold you any further. "Where are you going?"

"To get dressed, students will be up soon."

~~~

You resonated with his actions and logic, maybe because you were him in some way. That's the problem with the likeness, the blurred line between who you are and who you are seen to be. If he betrayed then so would you?

Human's fascinated you, the ability to come back from sin and earn there place in the holy kingdom. It wasn't forced but advised. Sin still existed and you could choose to break the 10 commandments. Choice. You wanted to choose your life not be bound to a memory of someone else and forced through the wrongdoings as if it were prophesied.

He wasn't like you expected, rude or demeaning. He was cunning, motivated by ill-intent, but who's to judge if it's morally good or bad? Those concepts confused you, bad could be good in another's eyes.

The man knew who you were exactly, rumours of your creation spread fast in the spirit world. "Sister. I didn't expect to meet you so soon. I would have prepared for your arrival." He offered his land to you, to help rule his throne. He had bigger plans for the end times than he let on. He fed into your desire, the same confusion he had experienced at the beginning of his rebellion.

He offered you whatever you could have wanted in order to steal you from the grips of your creator. "I want to understand the purpose of all of this. Why are humans so important? Why are expected to follow subserviently?." A life of my own.

"Then go, seek out your own answers and when you get bored or don't like the answers that you find, there's a place for you here."

"How do I get there? I don't have control-" You'd gotten there by mistake, you couldn't your powers yet. The angels expected you to which is how the ruckus in heaven began.

Think of suddenly being were you want to go and step forward. You'll be incognito unless you want to be seen. No angel has had long term exposure to humans, who knows the damages it could cause.

~~~

It was the first time Myrtle Snow had gotten some time alone with Cordelia after their arrival back from their council trip. She wasn't happy about Cordelia's decision to allow a male student at Hawthorne to compete in The Seven Wonders. Cordelia informed her that she'd seen the future and it appeared grim. At some point she knew she would have to identify her successor but she needed to buy herself some time to figure out who.

Myrtle mentioned Mallory, and how she witnessed the girl completely reversed the wounds of a dead doe and brought it back to its youth. They couldn't deny Langdon's power and though she doubted he was the next in line, he could be what brings the end.

Cordelia admitted her powers are growing weaker and feeling herself dying. She told her Aunt that she hadn't told anyone about her dwindling power except her.

"It's sooner or later Y/N is going to figure it out," Cordelia said. She feared telling you, you already noticed the markings her sickness brought along. You knew too much about magic, sooner or later you'd question her and her state. One of the perks of being the supreme was perfect health. Those mysterious marks don't match that. "I've tried to keep her out of all of this- I don't want her to get hurt." She knew you were more than capable of looking after yourself, but she still felt obligated to protect you from the world.

Myrtle brought up how painful it was to watch you swooning over her for years and it was nice to see that you get a break. The underlying threat that it will be cut short hung in the air but remained unsaid. Cordelia never having mentioned you two being together assumed she'd heard from one of the others.

Mallory interrupted them and told Cordelia that her two o'clock is here to see her.

You hadn't seen Cordelia much that day, having back to back classes, a doctor's appointment then marking once you got back. You'd worked through dinner, not realising what time it was until it was eight and your stomachs rumbling snapped you out of your concentrating state. You had one paper left on witch history. As much as you loved the history of Salem witches, you knew none of these girls cared enough to write a paper on it. There all here to improve their magic ability, history isn't going to help with that. You tossed the paper onto the rest deciding dinner was in order. Marking can be left until tomorrow.

You found a tupperware container full of left overs in the fridge. You scooped a helping of the pasta onto a plate before shoving it in the microwave. You felt two hands wrap around your waist. You chuckled and relaxed slightly.

"Missed you today baby," Cordelia said snuggling into your back. You told her you missed her back. You yawned. "Were you asleep?" she said referring to the robe you changed into when you got home from the doctors as well as your yawn.

"Had a doctor's appointment and had to mark after so I decided to get comfortable."

"Doctor's appointment? Are you alright?"

"Yeah, it was a checkup. I needed to see if my medication was working. They're giving me a higher dosage."

"I don't remember you being on medication."

"I've been on them for years. Some problem with my blood. I can't remember the specifics on the top of my head." You changed the topic, the last making you uncomfortable. "You're being more cuddly than you usually are in public. What happened to keep it in the bedroom."

"That went out the window when they heard us having sex."

"You have to admit you enjoyed it."

"I did," Cordelia admitted. "You could say, I owe you."

"Not tonight. I'm worn out. I'm going to go to bed after dinner."

"I might have to finish off my work early so I can have a cuddle session before bed."

"Sounds like a plan."

"I'll see you soon."

"See you soon."

Cordelia ran off to complete any work she had remained so she could spent her night with you.

You finished your meal and headed up your bedroom. You yawned as you entered the room. The ground felt muddy. Your eyes snapped open. You stood frozen in a forest of trees. A lone gas station stood with a mile of road on either side. "What the fuck-" you rubbed your eyes. This couldn't be real. A man stood there pumping gas into his car, nothing out of the ordinary. You reached for your pocket. You had none. You're in a robe. Outside. With nothing underneath. This hasn't happened before and hopefully never again.

You shouldn't be here, how did you get here? No level of teleportation would have gotten you this far without harm, this place wasn't near the school.

You step forwards to make your way towards the gas station. Maybe he could help you, tell you where you were so you could call Cordelia and explain what happened. A glove hand slipped over your mouth, another around your waist. You were tugged towards a body. You thrashed about trying to escape when the person spoke.

"I'm not going to hurt you Y/N." You said something but it was muffled by the hand. "I'll let you go in a second but you need to see something first."

Another car pulled up and a woman stepped out. The two interacted before the woman ended up cutting his Achille's heel. He collapsed onto the ground and she slit his throat as well. To finish him off she poured gasoline on him and set him on fire. The woman pulled away in her own car. You watched as the man's flesh, burnt to dust. You screamed, cried out watching the scene unfold. You were helpless to do anything but watch on in horror.

"That man's name was John Henry Moore. He taught at the Warlock school, you know the one. He was going to rat out his brother warlocks for treason. His key's are unharmed by the fire. You have one of two choices, drive back to the school and tell your precious supreme that a warlock was murdered and have to explain why you were out here in the middle of the night or you could drive away, dump the car and not tell a soul." Both hands let go of you.

"Why did you make me watch that? Who are you?"

You spun around but no one was there. You decided to test what the person said was true. You crouch by the pile of ash. John Henry Moore, you never heard of him. That wasn't surprising, he taught at a warlock school. You weren't familiar with too many, you were always taught you were superior to them so you never bothered to look into them. You hovered your hand above the ashes, concentrating on who they used to belong to. Come on Y/N, you can do it, you repeated in your head. You took a deep breath in and out.

Information filled your mind along with snippets of the man's face. The person was right.

You snatched the keys from the pile of ash and hopped into the car. What were you doing? You can't steal a dead man's car. He isn't going to need it, you reasoned. You start up the car, listening to it rev. The camera's, they would have seen you hop into the car. With a flick of the wrist you erase any record of you being here before speeding away. You didn't know what to do. How were you meant to explain why you were in the middle of nowhere. You didn't even know where you were going.

"Where did you go so late?" Cordelia asked as you stumbled through the front door.

"Grocery store."

"In your robe?"

"Yeah."

"How did you get there? The van's still parked-"

"You ask too many questions," you snapped. She was taken aback. "I've been through hell today. Can we just leave it there?" You didn't give her a second to respond before you headed towards the back of the school. She followed you, stopping when you did. Your back faced her.

You'd changed energies since you entered the academy. You were no longer the sweet and tired woman she was planning on spending her night with. Now you were agitated. You rarely found a reason to snap at her, she worried something happened to you. She let your behaviour slide, not wanting to push you any further and cause a scene at one thirty in the morning.

"We have a new student, Coco St. Pierre Vanderbilt. I put her in your class and organised a one on one with you and her today to get her comfortable being here."

You hummed fiddling with a pack of cigarettes you picked up along the way. You never smoked before in your life but the urge was all too tempting tonight. "Hmm~" you hummed, your mouth around the stick of death that was between your lips. Your hands fumbled about for the lighter you bought. Seemingly misplacing it, you groaned.

"I'm glad you're safe," Cordelia mused. "When you disappeared after you said you were going to bed, I worried." When you wouldn't pay her any attention, more focused on what you were doing she circled you. "What are you- Where did you get those?" She tried to take the cigarettes away from you but you moved away. "You don't smoke- how? Why?"

"I'm sleeping on the couch tonight," you said around your unlit cigarette, stepping outside and shutting the door with your powers.

You sat there until the sun rose. The birds chirping sounded like ringing in your ears. Visions of the man burning was all you could see. The hand around your waist and mouth, holding you in place. The helplessness you felt. What kind of witch were you? You had the chance to tell Cordelia where you were, what you say and you decided against it? Who were you? Not yourself.

Your robe slipped off your shoulders revealing your back to the cold day and showcasing your white ink tattoo of angel wings. You got paid 50 bucks to do it back in the day, now it's just scarring of the tattoo you once got.

You were on your third cigarette. You took another puff, missing the sound of the back door opening under the screams in your mind. A tap on your shoulder sent you zapping elsewhere. Landing on the other side of the garden, you quickly adjusted your robe, covering up your back and naked front. Your robe must have untied itself during the night. You dropped your cigarette butt stumping it out with your bare foot.

"Mal? What are you doing up so late?"

"It's 9 in the morning," she notified you. "Cordelia told me to talk to you after you didn't head up this morning."

"I told her I was going to sleep on the couch," she probably assumed the one in her room. Mallory walked up to you sitting down beside where you teleported to. "We don't need a mediator-"

"Go and talk to her. Assure her that there is nothing to worry about. She spent the couple hours you were missing tearing the place to shreds." You chuckled at the last bit. "She also wanted me to remind you, you had that class with Coco."

"Who?"

"The new student."

"Crap, yeah. When's that start?"

"Three minutes ago."

"Shit- you distract the girl, I'll quickly freshen up."

She nodded. You grabbed your belongings before teleporting upstairs to clean yourself up. You scrambled through your belongings looking for something quick to change into. You opted for a long maxi floral dress with your platform boots. You douse yourself in perfume before sprinting downstairs. You ran past Cordelia on her way to her office, she went to speak when you said, "Meeting late." and continued on your way.

You found Mallory sitting alongside another girl. You apologised for your tardiness, and greeted the girl with a handshake.

"Your hands are cold," she commented.

"I'm well aware. So as you're aware I'm meant to so you the ropes. If you are scared, it's normal."

You dreaded the time your class your one on one would end but when it did, you were happy that the new student was at least a little more comfortable being here. She reminded you of yourself when younger. No you weren't rich, you were scared of being in a place you didn't belong and not wanting to waste the teachers time. Any witch no matter how little their powers are deserved to be here.

Once you were done you were requested to go to your girlfriends office. You didn't bother knocking as she expected you. The door squeaked, "Your door needs some oil," you commented.

"I'll make sure someone does that later-"

"Oh, I can do it. It's no problem. I'll do it now-" You deflected.

"Leave the door. It's not important." Cordelia rose from her desk chair and moved to the set of chairs in front of her desk.She chose to do this to show you were not in trouble and to remove the desk from between the both of you. You'd both use it as a barrier to hide behind. She gestured you to take the other chair. You slowly shuffled to your designated spot, your platforms scraping across the floor. Normally you would have earned a look of disapprove from your girlfriend for ruining the school's flooring. Today was different, her pet peeves were tossed out the window, replaced with an emotion you had yet to determined.

She didn't speak until you were settled in your chair. Your eyes floated everywhere never focusing on one place and definitely not on her. She realised she wasn't going to get your undivided attention, it was for the best, you never made eye contact when you were in a stressful situation. The woman allowed you to get away with pushing her away far too long. She'd let you escape from her for years during her marriage or the nights back in high school were she'd gotten a smidgen to close. She saw why now, it was as clear as day. You'd pushed her away to save yourself heartbreak. It took her until she had the sight to figure out she was being cheated on and still she couldn't figure out how strong your feelings where for her. You were pushing her away again but this time she couldn't understand why, it wasn't like the last time you did so, you haven't left her yet. It was similar to moments in high school were she was getting a little experimental, bi-curious even, but you weren't having it. You didn't want to be second, you wanted the gold. Had you figured out her secret, that her days were numbered. You'd seen the markings. You could be bracing yourself for the pain, cutting off the ties before they were snapped from you. Self induced pain was easier to deal with.

"How did the session with Coco go?" It was best to ease into the conversation, make it seem normal, Cordelia thought. You both knew it was coming so there was no point in delaying the inevitable but scaring you off wasn't the end goal.

"The Vanderbilt girl is super nice. Is Vanderbilt or Pierre a better nickname? Pierre is a masculine name and she isn't very- Vanderbilt it is." You rambled on. "I think I did a pretty good job at convincing her she belongs here."

"I knew you'd be the perfect one for that."

"Yeah~"

"I want to talk about last night-" you went to interrupt but you were silenced. "I know you don't want to talk about it but that's what couples do, they communicate so we can move past it."

You nodded, your focus now stilled on the left leg of Cordelia's chair. There was a paper clip resting next to it, bent slightly out of shape. You wanted to pick it up and put it with the rest or at least fiddle with it to distract your mind from what she was asking you to do. Talking was a chore, why would you need to talk, can't she just read your mind, or the energy you're radiating? Her idea wasn't a good one. Emotions are meant to be expressed outwardly and if not, they should remain to one's self.

"You said you were going to bed. You could have given me a heads up or texted me that you had to go out."

"I did head to bed." Your voice was small. Your hands fiddle with the light fabric of your attire. "I didn't plan on going out... It kind of happened."

"You going somewhere doesn't usually just happen. You have to actively seek out doing it."

"I-I teleported- I think. Whatever happened wasn't intentional."

"You teleported? Where?"

"I don't-" Should you tell the truth? "A park, an hour away. I went to the grocery store on the way back and picked up-"

"The cigarettes. You know what I'm going to ask you to do with them." You shook your head. She laid her hand out. You pulled them out of your clothes pocket and handed them over. "I don't want you to get addicted to these. They ruin lives and I love you too much to watch you waste it away on this." You nodded in recognition. "Did anything happen while you were out?"

You shook your head, "Nothing happened-"

"You transmutated far, are you sure you didn't get hurt?" You nodded. "Can I have a look over?"

"You just want an excuse to see me naked, don't you?"

"Always, but it is strange that you are developing new powers now or at least of that strength."

"Developing them now? Are you calling me old?" you joked.

"You're older than me." Yeah, you were. "What are you, like 905?"

"Hey! I'm not immortal."

"You could have convinced me otherwise."

"We both know that wouldn't be a good thing. We both know the story of Scáthach. "

"Are you talking about My Roanoke Nightmare? I thought you hated that show."

As much as Cordelia hated horror, you were a fanatic- not because you enjoyed the film, you loved critiquing it, ripping their use of the supernatural. You often referenced horror movies and how they were wrong in class or when casually talking to Cordelia. Then the show My Roanoke nightmare was popular, you'd binged watch it and won't shut up about the show for weeks. Cordelia knew everything about the show without seeing it. She eventually did, so she could better understand what was irritating you so much.

"I do, but Audrey Tindall is hot."

"I hope neither of us ever met her." The both of you chuckled.

"No, but seriously. She's real or at least what they say about her is. She gained immortality from ancient gods. We both know you don't make deals with ancient gods, we teach that as part of the curriculum. You don't accept gifts from deities and all that jazz. It's witchcraft 101. All I know is if I had a choice between being normal and being immortal, i'd choose normally any day. Hell I'd probably give it up. Imagine living a life where you couldn't get attached to people because you know that one day they are going to die and you'll be alone. You can met new people but you know that they are going to die too. It's a long circle of death until the world explodes or hell raises over maybe even after that. It would get lonely. Plus, I'd lose you and I couldn't handle that."

"Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere." At least not for now, not today, Cordelia thought.

[eddiesasspbrak]

Forever and Always Ch. 5

Eddie is the only one of his friends to stay behind in Derry after high school, causing him to lose touch with some of them. Now 24, Eddie has heard rumors that his now famous, former best friend (aka love of his life) may be coming back to town. That won’t be too awkward, right? 

Ch. 1

Ch. 6

Read on AO3

3k+ words

When Eddie woke, he felt warm and comfortable. After he and Richie had cleaned up, they’d both gone up to sleep in Richie’s bed. It wasn’t an odd occurrence. Many sleepovers had been spent sleeping in one another’s beds. This was slightly different though. More intimate. Eddie thought that he should be embarrassed, but he wasn’t. This was Richie. Still, he couldn’t help feeling like it was all a bad idea. Yea, he loved Richie and Richie had confessed his own feelings the night before, but things still weren’t 100% with them. They should have talked more before letting things escalate. If anything, Eddie felt guilty. Even as he lay with his head on Richie’s chest, their arms and legs tangled together beneath the covers, he thought he shouldn’t be enjoying this so much. Not yet.

Gently dislodging himself from Richie’s limbs, Eddie rolled over to grab his phone and check the time. He didn’t work until the afternoon on Tuesdays. Still, he shouldn’t be out too late into the morning as his mother was probably freaking out already. He’d never stayed out without permission. Well, not all night anyway. As a teenager he often snuck out at night when he needed to get away. He’d find himself in Richie’s basement or bedroom. Occasionally he’d go to Bill’s but if Georgie saw him, he was likely to tell their parents. He meant well, he just couldn’t keep a secret to save his life. Stan’s was the other option. 9 times out of 10 though, it was Richie’s.

His parents didn’t care when Eddie would come around. Maggie would make them a snack and they’d chill on the couch and watch TV with Wentworth. Part of him thought that they knew he wasn’t supposed to be there. Everyone knew how Eddie’s mom was. But they never said anything and just left him and Richie to do as they pleased. It became like a second home, a safe haven for him.

When he lit up his phone screen, he saw that he already had twenty missed calls from his mom as well as a long string of texts he’d never read. No wonder, it was already 10:30. She would have gotten up and made breakfast hours ago and then checked Eddie’s room when he didn’t come down. Now he had a little more than an hour to get home, get dressed and then deal with this before heading into work without being late.

“Shit.” He sighed out, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed and sitting up.

“What’s up?” Richie’s groggy voice came from behind him, followed by a yawn.

“I’ve gotta go.”

“Hey now, didn’t take you for the one-night stand kind of guy.”

Eddie rolled his eyes. “I’ve got work at 12 and my mom is throwing a fit because I’m not there.”

“You’re in your twenties. You’re not a child anymore.”

“Try telling her that.”

There was a short silence between them as Richie sat up and fumbled with his glasses, finally retrieving them and slipping them over his eyes. He looked up at Eddie with his sleepy expression and bedhead and Eddie swore his heart skipped a beat.

“So…you’re cool about what happened last night?” Richie asked, feeling anxious.

“Yes. Kind of. I meant what I said I just…we really need to talk. Later though, ok? I really have to go.”

Eddie finally stood and retrieved his pants from the floor. Looking at the front he saw the evidence of their uncoordinated drunken hand jobs and groaned. He couldn’t wear them home. His mom would go ballistic if she saw them and it was just gross walking around with obvious jizz stains on your clothing. He turned back to Richie with a frown.

“Got anything I can borrow?” He asked.

“Yea, also, you might want to cover your neck. Sorry.” Richie stood and headed to his dresser, retrieving a pair of grey sweats.

Eddie took the sweats while grabbing his phone again to look at his neck in the camera. Sure enough, his neck was peppered in hickeys, some going down beneath the collar of his shirt. “Damnit, Richie. Now I’m going to have to wear makeup.”

Richie chuckled and grabbed the stained jeans from where Eddie had dropped them on the floor. “Leave these here. I’ll deal with them.” He said, tossing them in the general direction of his hamper.

“Thanks.”

Eddie slipped the sweats on then his shoes and hoodie, making sure he had everything before he left. The last thing he needed was to forget his keys or wallet here. His mom would only become suspicious about where he was and what he was doing to lose something he was so protective over normally. Richie was watching him as he gathered his things, sitting on the corner of his bed.

“Alright. I’ll see you later?” He asked. Richie nodded and Eddie crossed the room to grab him by the ears and plant a kiss to his lips. “I don’t regret it or anything, ok? I’ll text you when I’m done at work.”

Richie smiled and nodded as they kissed one last time before Eddie rushed out the door and down the stairs. Richie looked out his bedroom window in time to see Eddie jogging down the front path and onto the sidewalk, pulling his hoodie up around his neck. It reminded him of their teenage years when Eddie would jog in the morning and he’d set his alarm to watch him go by. He was so in love with him already by that point. Nothing else could have woken him up that early on a weekend, except seeing Eddie, red faced and baring short shorts as he passed by. It almost made Richie want to get up and join him. Almost.

He flopped back down onto his pillows with a melodramatic sigh. He felt like a lovesick teenager. He’d heard once that when you reconnect with old friends you regress to the person you were before. So, in some way, maybe he was a lovesick teenager. He’d spent many days pining for the short spitfire that had a retort to almost everything he said. Bickering with Eddie was like receiving a present. That rush of adrenaline and excitement and the joy it brought on. Eddie could be calling him every name in the book and Richie would just smile at him, so completely in love it was disgusting.

If he could go back and tell his sixteen-year-old self about what had happened the night before, he didn’t think he’d believe it. They’d had one night at a party when Richie thought their relationship might escalate, but the next day Eddie pretended like nothing had happened at all and it had crushed him. He figured that was Eddie’s way of rejecting him, now he just didn’t know. It was something he’d have to ask him about later when he got the chance.

Richie closed his eyes and remembered the day he left Derry behind. When Eddie said he couldn’t go with him, his heart broke. He wanted to tell him that he loved him then and that he wanted to be with him in New York, to start a life together. But he had been afraid of what his response would be after the apparent rejection a year before. That’s what was happening again in that moment, he’d been rejecting him. Instead, Richie had just gotten into his car and driven away, tears blurring his vision.

Life after that had felt meaningless for a while. It had taken some time for him to pick himself up again and begin moving toward his goals. He thought that maybe he could make something of himself and then Eddie would see what he’d been missing. All of that time he’d wanted to reach out to him, but he decided that Eddie would have to come to him first. He was the one who had rejected Richie, so it was his job to make things right. When he never did, Richie tried to forget him. Not an easy task when you’re both still friends with all the same people from childhood. The day of Bev’s fashion show, when he didn’t show, Richie thought he’d lost all chance of reconnecting with him.

To find out now that he’d been trying to contact him, that he’d wanted to be with him at least as friends, was so amazing but so hard to take at the same time. Richie would forever kick himself for not trying harder, for not trying at all, and letting such a big distance come between them. He’d spend the rest of his time in Derry making sure Eddie knew just how much he loved him and how much he wanted to be with him. He had too much lost time to make up for.

*

“Edward Kaspbrak, where have you been?”

Eddie knew he was going to get an earful as soon as he walked through the door. He wished he could have gotten up and into the shower first. He had this irrational fear that she’d be able to smell Richie on him and would pick up on where he’d been. As it was, he’d jogged all the way home, so he hoped he just smelled like sweat. He’d spent that time trying to think of an excuse without giving her the truth. Lying was easier he told himself again. He just hoped she wouldn’t notice the how high his hoodie was zipped, effectively hiding his neck from view. Or that he wasn’t wearing the same pants he’d left in the night before.

“Book club ran late, and I fell asleep on the host’s couch. They didn’t want to wake me.” The lie came so easily, he was sure she wouldn’t see through it.

“I was worried sick! Next time you tell them to call me if you fall asleep and I’ll come get you!”

“That’s not necessary. Spending one night at a friend’s house isn’t going to kill me.”

He didn’t wait for her response as he headed up the stairs for a shower. He could hear her yelling something after him, but the words just bounced off of him. He didn’t have the energy to waste worrying about what she thought. He needed to shower quickly, cover his neck and head out for work. He’d have to eat something there. Before getting in the shower, he pulled out his phone and sent a text to Gerard, praying he’d take pity on him and pick up lunch on his way in. He started an hour later than Eddie, so he had the time. If he was awake.

Normally, a shower would give Eddie time to be in his head and think. If he’d had the time to focus on anything more than scrubbing the sweat from his body, he might have thought more about the night before. It still hadn’t quite hit him that Richie had feelings for him, that they’d gotten each other off, how he’d so casually kissed him goodbye like it was nothing.

Eddie didn’t have a ton of experience, but he had some. He wasn’t the only closeted gay guy in town, and others just seemed to have a way of finding him. He’d touched more dick than he wanted to admit. After a few visits to the gay bar he frequented, he was just drunk enough to have sex with a guy who kind of looked like Richie in the backseat of the guy’s car. It had sucked and he’d decided that quickies with strangers just wasn’t for him.

Still, every experience he did have was fleeting and meaningless. They’d part ways seconds later and never speak again. This was different. Richie liked him. Richie was someone he’d known since childhood. He was his friend. His childhood crush. And he liked him! He hadn’t just jerked off some stranger the night before, he’d jerked off Richie fucking Tozier. He’d made out with him and slept in his bed and kissed him goodbye and made plans to see him again the very next day! It was enough to make his head spin as he stood, towel around his waist, staring in the foggy smear in the bathroom mirror at the hickey’s left behind by Richie’s mouth. Having to cover them would be annoying but the sight of them sent a flutter through his stomach.

He checked the hallway before he left the bathroom, making sure that his mom wasn’t lurking waiting to ambush him. It wouldn’t be the first time. The last thing he needed was for her to see those hickeys. He couldn’t think of an excuse for why they’d be there. He’d heard girls use the curling iron burn excuse before, but he had short hair that naturally curled anyway. And who would believe he’d burned himself that many times? He dashed to his bedroom on tippy toes, hoping she wouldn’t hear him running. Once safely in his room, he set about getting dressed and making his hair look at least somewhat presentable.

There was still the issue of the hickey’s being visible. Even if he managed to get out of the house without his mother seeing, he couldn’t spend the rest of the day at work with them on display. It would surely get back to her anyway and then what would the point of hiding be? Luckily, he remembered a bonding moment with Bev when they were seventeen. They’d gone to a party at the quarry. It was crowded with their peers drinking, smoking (both tobacco and weed), making out against trees and dancing to loud music. It wasn’t something Eddie would have thought he’d enjoy, but he was there with all of the Losers. They made it fun. Eddie drank too much and the events of the night became foggy. It was when he woke up, hungover and confused, Bev in his bed, that he found the big hickey on the side of his neck.

He’d woken Bev, quietly because his mom would have killed them both if she found Bev in his bed and asked her what happened. She didn’t know either but assured him that she remembered everything, and it did not come from her. They’d stumbled back to his house and snuck up to his room where they both immediately passed out. It was then that Eddie panicked about who he made out with and told Bev that he was gay. After a heart to heart and tears from both, Beverly showed Eddie how to cover the hickey with makeup.

Digging through an old box in the back of his closet, he found the tiny container of concealer she’d given him. It was about seven years old and Eddie knew that makeup expired, but he didn’t have much of a choice. Setting up his phone so he could see himself in the camera, he set to work using his fingers to smear the makeup around his neck. He could practically hear her voice in his head, telling him how to apply it and blend it in. It was less effective than he remembered, maybe due to the age of the product, but was good enough. He didn’t have any more time to fuss over it.

As he headed back out the door, his mom called after him, but he ignored it and let the door slam behind him. He was really running late now and would have to jog most of the way, hoping that his sweat wouldn’t wash the makeup away. He’d tucked the concealer into his pocket before he’d left, just in case, but the idea of anyone seeing them was embarrassing. Questions would be sure to follow, and Eddie didn’t want to tell more lies. He was already sinking himself into a hole with his Richie related lies and if they were going to be dating, they were sure to unravel sometime soon. He just wasn’t ready to tell anyone the truth. Not yet. Not until he talked with Richie and made sure they were on the same page.

When he arrived at work, his coworker Gwen was behind the counter. She looked bored as the store was mostly empty. Her eyes drifted up from her phone to Eddie when the bell above the door chimed.

“Oh, thank god. I didn’t think you were going to show.” She said with a small smile.

“Sorry. I overslept.” He said, heading toward the break room “Let me grab my apron and I’ll take over.”

Placing his things in his locker and putting his apron on, pausing to check the hickey coverage in his camera, he headed back out to the floor. Gwen was still scheduled to work until Gerard showed up, but sometimes she ducked out early. Eddie didn’t work with her much and thus they didn’t know each other very well, but she was always friendly toward him. She was four years younger than Eddie, hated her job and had three younger siblings who she was helping to support. This was only one of two jobs she worked. Beyond that, Eddie didn’t know much about her.

Sure enough, as soon as Eddie was tucked away behind the counter, she scurried back to the breakroom and came out minutes later in her other work uniform. She said her goodbyes as she left, leaving Eddie alone in the store. He felt restless. Leaving the counter, he looked for anything that needed to be done. Usually he left all cleaning, stocking and organizing to Gerard as Eddie was better with the customers, but he needed a distraction. If he was left alone with his thoughts for too long, he’d start thinking about sitting on Richie’s lap, hands and lips everywhere.

Part of him wanted to call him over and take him into the breakroom and do unspeakable things to him. But he couldn’t, for many reasons. Most importantly, he didn’t think they should do anything more until they honestly talked about what was going on. Yea, they both liked each other. They’d both liked each other for a long time. Richie had said he loved him in the heat of the moment even, but that wasn’t enough. There was still a six-year gap they had to fill in, get to know the people they’d grown into before committing based on memories. What would happen when Richie went back to New York? Back to his day to day life with shows and tours and his Netflix special.

The thought of Richie leaving again filled Eddie with so much anxiety, he was reaching for his inhaler without even realizing. He felt eighteen again, getting ready to watch his best friend and the love of his life leave him behind. History seemed doomed to repeat itself, just with higher stakes this time.

When Gerard finally arrived, Eddie had worked himself up and was scrubbing the counter vigorously with a rage. He didn’t notice he was there until he was setting a bag down on the countertop in front of him. Eddie looked up at him and found him looking confused and maybe just a little amused.

“What the hell are you doing?” He asked, grinning.

“Cleaning. This counter is disgusting, and people put their food on here.” Eddie said, setting the rag and cleaning solution aside.

“Right. Well, I come baring sustenance. I took pity because your text sounded desperate.”

“Bless you. I overslept and didn’t have time to eat anything this morning.”

Gerard paused from pulling food from the bag and raised an eyebrow at him. “You overslept? Did we enter some parallel dimension last night?”

“Very funny. I drank too much and didn’t get to bed until sometime this morning.”

“Oh, right. You went drinking with Richie. How was it? Did you get so drunk you sucked his cock?”

“Jesus, Gerard! I swear you have no fucking filter. And no, I didn’t give him a blow job.”

“Boring. Did you at least kiss him?”

“No.”

“Then what did you do?” Gerard made his way around the counter and grabbed the second stool, pulling it over to Eddie’s side. Technically they weren’t supposed to eat at the counter, but it was slow, and the owner never came in.

“We talked about his shows and friends and stuff.”

“That’s it?”

“He invited me to come to one of his shows. Said I could have a front row seat.”

“Ok so I hate you then. I want to go!”

“Since you were kind today and brought me lunch, even though you made vulgar assumptions, I will talk to Richie about getting you tickets.”

“Are you for real? I take it back. I actually love you. Number one fake older brother on the planet.”

“Damn straight.” Eddie bit into his burger, cursing as a glob of ketchup fell from it and landed on his apron. He reached for a napkin and grabbed the fabric, pulling it taught as he tried to clean up the stain.

Gerard watched him, trying to come up with a way to make fun of him, when he realized he’d managed to pull down the collar of his shirt a bit. His eyes widened as he was sure he knew what he was looking at and he tried not to choke on his mouthful of food. Just below the collar of his shirt was a hickey. Eddie didn’t realize that his shirt had rubbed the makeup away, leaving it very visible when he pulled down on the fabric.

“Oh my god.” Gerard said when his mouth was empty.

“What? It’s just ketchup. I’ll run some water over it in a second. It probably won’t stain.”

“Fuck the ketchup, you have a hickey!”

“What?” Eddie looked up at Gerard to see the amused smile on his face. “I…I do not!”

“Yes, you do! I can see it! Holy shit, dude. When did that happen? Wait…oh no…oh my god.” He laughed, pointing an accusatory finger toward Eddie. “You did kiss Richie! What else did you do? He left a fucking hickey on you! Oh my god I’m so jealous.”

“It’s not…he didn’t…I didn’t…you’re wrong!” Eddie’s face had turned a bright shade of red as he stood from his stool.

“Dude, it’s cool. I won’t tell anyone. I can’t believe you lied to me though! You have to tell me everything now.”

“There’s nothing to tell. There’s no hickey.”

“Eddie. Come on.”

Eddie sighed and sat back down. “We were drunk, and it was stupid, and we still have a lot to talk about so don’t tell him that you know.”

Gerard was smiling though is mouth was hanging open in surprise at the same time. “I cannot believe this. You’ve become so interesting lately! So, how far did you go?” He leaned forward, ready to hear everything he had to say.

“We just made out a bit and then fell asleep. That’s all.”

“Not as tawdry as I was hoping for, but still. Hot damn, Kaspbrak. You’re my hero.”

Eddie rolled his eyes but felt a little bit lighter having told him. Even if he didn’t tell him the whole truth. He felt like he could trust Gerard, but he was still a kid and there was a limit to how much he should share with him. He didn’t know of all the flings he’d had with strangers and he didn’t need to know that he’d had to leave his jizz stained jeans at Richie’s that morning.

[malereader-inserts]

Give Me My Worth

Fandom: Twilight Pairing: Cullen x Adopted Son/Brother!Reader Summary: It had to get yourself sick in order for your foster family to realise Word Count: 2251 Request: “Cullen family x mreader where the reader does everything that his siblings ask him to do put whenever he asks for anything the family ignores him and it ends with a happy ending. I need some hurting put not that much” A/n: you didn’t say human or vampire reader so I am making the reader human - also extra ANGST. Also, I don’t know what time some American school start or finish their day, so I’m going with what usually England school’s run by with 9am to around 3:30m (obvs depending what school you go to, then end time fluctuates around)

You flop back onto your bed.

You were exhausted, the alarm clock was hitting 2:00am. Your body shook with a dry cough as you wipe the sweat off your forehead. You sighed as you sat up, getting your bag ready and finish the homework you were supposed to finish when you got home until Emmett asked you to clean their clothes.

Then you got busy when Jasper asked if you could go on a book hunt for one of his lessons, which got added by Alice ordering you to pick up her delivery, then Rosaline asked you to grab some equipment for her car. As you went to pick the essentials - took an hour to find Jasper’s book, Alice delivery was out on the opposite side of Seattle of the bookshop that Jasper’s book was. Then it took your upper strength and energy to lift the tools for Rosalie into the back of your car.

By then, it was 7pm. You watched Jasper come and go with his book without a simple thanks as Alice, scowls for you taking your time as Rosalie walks passed you to retrieve her essentials, leaving you to feel unwanted as a cough took over your body.

You had asked what was dinner, but you found out that Esme went out to help into the local shelter, leaving you with nothing eat, though you weren’t that pressed about the situation because they needed Esme more than you need her. You had to dinner around 7:30, finishing later into 8, though you weren’t eating much.

 By then you were ready to start your own work to do before Bella called you if you could pick her at La Push since her truck broke down and Jacob refused to go to the other side.

It was a simple pick up and drop up, yet Bella had dragged you to join the wolf pack in their storytelling session around the fire making you leave with Bella around 10:15, the cold wasn’t helping with the situation, suppressing your faint cold. Just as you dropped her off, you were met by Edward, who looked at you thankfully for bringing her home safely but annoyed that it was late at night.

When you were driving away you stopped to get yourself gas for your car, returning home at 10:35. Just as you were about to sit down and make a start on your homework, you were beckoned once again by Alice.

She had claimed that she was far too busy to do her own history homework, it was just a one-time thing and she wanted you to do it. She gave you a look and waved you off as she and Jasper went hunting, leaving you no choice to whip out your history book and write her essay, coming up to 11:49.

Just as you printed it off and placed it Alice’s bag, you were called by Rosalie to help her with her maths homework, despite her repeating high school she always seemed to be failing maths, you were barely managing and whilst everyone else was out hunting you were the only one available. 

You kept your cool around your sister, it took almost an hour for her to understand what she was doing and fifteen minutes for her to finish it. By 1:20, you were exhausted, you craved for your bed but you just couldn’t with the amount of work you needed to do. 

At this point of the night, you felt unwell. A headache, a rough dry cough kept taking over as you breathed unevenly, ignoring the pain that came along with it.

You had greeted your foster dad when he came through the doors at half one, kissing his wife and the both of them went out the door to hunt, ignoring your begs to stay off school.

Just as you were about to drag yourself up the stairs, Emmett came bouncing in with a smile, begging for you to join him and Jasper in a video game. You had one game before rushing to your room.

Currently, you looked at the bight screen in front of you, your exhausted eyes bore into your geography homework. Your chest hurts, breathing hurts as you shiver. Ignoring everything you plugged in some music until you found yourself working up at the sunrise.

The situation had been almost a routine, you loved your family, but everything was unbearable. You were in a constant state of tiredness, your body ached and you were becoming feverish. In the heat of that, you pushed on, despite feeling used and unwanted at the same time.

As you got yourself ready for the day, you noticed the sun was out. Your siblings would be staying off and the fact that you had helped them do their work, you sighed in frustration sending yourself in a fit of coughing. Pulling your sweatshirt on you, you grabbed your bag and went to your car.

It wasn’t like the family had anything good to say, they were all engrossed with their things - ignoring or forgetting that you had existed. You shouldn’t be driving with the lack of, or no, sleep you had gotten.

Angela greeted you with your head leaning against your steering wheel, “You don’t look so good (Y/n).”

“Thanks, I don’t feel like it either.”

You drag yourself out the car, a wave of dizziness had hit you, as you lean on the car. Angela’s hand flew to your shoulder, keeping you stable.

“Do you need to see the nurse?”

“I think I can live.”

You waved her off as you join Bella in the first lesson of English. She greeted you with furrowed eyebrows knitted together as you sat down next to her. You placed your head on the table, a headache consuming you with the pain in your chest increased, Bella had noticed your shallow breathing.

“You should go home,” Bella spoke as she looks down at you, “Visit the hospital or something.”

You sat up, leaning your chin on your palm, heaving a cough as you covered your mouth, ignoring the wheezing, “I rather be here than hell at home.”

Bella looked at you confused, “What do you mean?”

“I haven’t had a good night sleep for the past week, Bells, I just feel like I’m back at the foster home with the Cullens.”

Bella had known your traumatising experience with the foster home and found herself severely disappointed with the Cullens. She gave you one last look before she turned her attention to the teacher, who had walked in the class.

When the lesson had finished, you and Bella walked to your locker.

“Alright, give me your keys, we’re taking you to the hospital,” Bella held her hand out as she gave you a look, you sighed as you dug through your pocket and gave her your keys.

She grabbed you by the arm as she escorted you to the car. You sit there shivering, unable to fight back as you started to hack out a cough.

“What about your truck?”

“Broken down remember? Dad took me in,” Bella responded, “Are you coughing blood?”

You had slipped into silence as Bella started the car, muttering how annoyed she was at your family, at her boyfriend. Pulling up to the hospital, you had muttered how your family couldn’t find out about your state.

Once admitted into the hospital with severe pneumonia, which had been developing for days with quick x-rays and other medical precautions that took place, you were felt rendered unconscious after a day’s worth of examination.

Bella had called her dad that she was looking after you in the hospital, pitying as you were in for monitoring oxygen levels, temperature, heart rate and breathing rate, whilst antibiotics were given to you at intervals.

She softly runs her hand through your hair, “I wish you knew how much your family cares about you.”

She sighs as she leaves you for the night, going to your car and examining the empty notifications of your phone, wondering where you were. As she drove your car, she didn’t know what to say, wondering if Alice had predicted this outcome.

When she had arrived at the Cullen’s house, she was greeted with Edward and Alice. They had wondered why she was driving your car but allowed her to go into the house, despite no greeting.

“Ah, Bella!” Carlisle greeted, “Didn’t know you were visiting today.”

“Unexpected turn of events,” Bella responded, her arms crossed and looked like she refused to be touched, “I’m feeling like I’m having an off day.”

“Why is that?”

“Well, I didn’t expect to find myself pitying the honourary human Cullen, at the hospital where he lies unconscious with the last thought that his foster hates him, making him feel unwanted nor needed,” Bella explained, “But, what do I know? It wasn’t like he was on the verge of tears on the way to the hospital complaining his chest hurts as he begs me not to tell you, fearing he was wasting your time.”

“Wh-”

“And the fact he was about to pass out due to his sleep deprivation and I swear he had compared his life here like the foster home-”

“We get it!” Rosalie sneers.

“Do you?” Bella asked, keeping herself near her boyfriend in case Rosalie attacked. In this sheer moment, Bella had gathered a lot of courage to speak like this to a bunch of vampires, “You’re sending him to an early grave.”

The Cullens share a look, Jasper felt so much guilt, regret and remorse. He couldn’t take it as Edward was gaining too many thoughts at once, he couldn’t contain it.

“My dad is picking me up,” Bella commented, just about to turn around and leave.

“Bella?” Esme quietly spoke, the human looked at her, “Why is he in the hospital?”

“Severe Pneumonia, monitoring his levels,”

Carlisle’s feeling worsens because he was the doctor, he should have spotted your illness before you had ended up in the hospital. Edward and Alice grimace as they also were trained to be doctors, but they couldn’t give much thought to their brother as they cared way too much of themselves.

The moment you had woken up, you didn’t expect to see golden eyes watching you intensely. You blinked slowly, before processing what was going on, where you were and what had happened. You shut your eyes once again, hoping that the tiredness would wash you off to sea and ignore your family.

“We’re not leaving,” Jasper spoke from the corner of your room, his arm over Alice.

There was silence, you felt Esme rub your arm, she had a heavy heart as she had lost her son once she did not want to lose another. You peaked your eye open, groggily rubbing the sleep away.

“Hey, there sleeping beauty.”

You glared at Emmett, muttering under your breath knowing full well they could hear you, “Still feel like I haven’t slept enough.”

Rosalie smiles at you, “How are you feeling-?”

“What are you doing?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean why are you here? Don’t you have anything better to fulfil your goddamn boring life?” You questioned as your chest started to spaz as you were sent into fits of bloody coughs.

“We haven't been the greatest,” Edward started, “Carlisle is working right now, but he’s keeping an eye on you, but nevertheless, we came to apologise.”

You looked at him, eyebrow raised and unamused.

“We treated you horribly, we used you and for that we’re sorry.”

You cut Edward short with a snort, “You didn’t just use me, you made me feel shit, reduced me to feel like nothing. Home didn’t feel like home anymore - I want my worth to be validated, give me my worth.”

Your voice broke at the end of the sentence as your breathing was laboured, uneven and you were wheezing. You blinked slowly, ignoring the ringing noise in your ear and the distant headache you could feel, your body was shutting down again. You just wanted to rest.

“We’re so sorry, sweetheart,” Esme soothes you.

“Sorry doesn’t wash away the feeling-”

“So, we’ll prove it to you, prove that your worth is validated in our house.” Emmett interrupted, he was almost begging, “We forget we’re not human like you, but please give us a second chance to show you that you can have faith in us.”

You looked at them, their golden eyes looking hopeful at you. You softly hummed, before responding.

“If I say yes, will you let me sleep?” There was a simultaneous nodding of heads, “Okay, but this doesn’t mean I forgive you.”

“That’s okay, we’re okay with that,” Jasper responded.

“We’re not deserving of your forgiveness, at least not yet,” Alice concluded.

“You mean a lot to us,” Rosalie spoke fondly, “We love you.”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I love you too, unfortunately.”

The room was full of silence, as your body too over allowing you to sleep. Your uneven breathing become steady, as the group of vampires watched the rise and fall of your chest, fearing that if they would look away you would just stop. They didn’t want to lose you, it was awakening for them, but it was something they needed to know.

You weren’t a robot or a vampire like them. You were human, with needs and emotions.

If you need your worth validated, damn right they will show it to you.

[thanksjro]

Polyhex Wars, Book 1 Part 1: This Is Why We Take Roll, People

Boy oh boy, back with the solo writing! Before we begin, let’s take a look at what exactly we’ll be working with here.

Polyhex is a polity that’s been established in the Transformers franchise for ages, and it’s got a lot of history behind it. Perhaps if we have an understanding of the place, we’ll have a better insight to what’s going to happen in the story. Because god knows Roberts loves him some lore.

Here are some things that you can find within the city limits of Polyhex:

Darkmount

An unnamed Decepticon stronghold

The/A smelting pool

The Dead End

Decepticon fuel stores

Ratbat's offices

An Autobase

The original space bridge

The Polyhex Toll Plaza

So, a strong chance of Decepticon/Autobot action here. Ratbat might show up, which would be interesting. He was leader of the Decepticons for a little bit in the Marvel comics, and he did a pretty darn good job. Also, robotic homelessness. Outstanding.

On to the story!

Our tale opens with a problem- there’s a Decepticon with a sword and flaming eyes looming over an Autobot. A Decepticon whose face strips off, leaving only a skull. Then his robo-flesh flies off, leaving him just a skeleton. Then the robo-flesh goes and crushes the Autobot and melts his body down. Our Autobot feels his very fucking soul evaporate.

Oh hey, Prowl.

It would seem that Prowl is a favorite of Roberts, right alongside Nightbeat and Chromedome in terms of just how often he’s shown up in his writing. Hopefully things turn out better for him in this story than they did in Eugenesis.

Not that it would take much, mind you.

Turns out that nightmare we just witnessed was just that- a nightmare. Prowl wakes up on the floor, having passed out thanks to Involuntary Systems Shutdown. Guess he’s just been working himself too hard.

Roberts, you get those pores off of that robot, mister. Don’t you dare think I forgot about what you did to Soundwave and his pores.

This is actually potentially a holdover from the fanfic scene at the time. Fandom wasn’t quite as cohesive as it is nowadays, which meant that the concepts of things like fans, EM fields, and alternative terminology for robotic body parts weren’t universally accepted, so you got things like robots being able to sweat, and having much more organic terms for things. Roberts seemed to flip-flop between using mechanical and human-y language. We get terms like “optical shutters” sitting right next to someone getting the fear sweats. It’s a neat look at how things used to be.

Prowl is trying to suss out just what the hell that dream could possibly mean- I guess he subscribes to the school of prophetic dreaming- when Optimus Prime walks in and wants a status report. He’s rather rude about it too, snapping at Prowl when he doesn’t get exactly to what he’s after; that is to say, the situation on Cybertron itself. Prowl, a little weirded out by Optimus’ sudden assholery, calls up Blaster. However, when he turns back to his leader, Optimus has collapsed against a table. Whatever the Prime’s funk was seems to have dissipated, and he’s much more pleasant suddenly. Blaster, not so much.

Things aren’t going great on Cybertron. The Decepticons are nearly done building nuclear-powered rocket thrusters. They’ll be completed within the week.

Man, Eugenesis really just ruins a person’s expectations, doesn’t it?

Jokes aside, it seems like there’s something ominous going on in Autobot City, and it’s making folks act like jackasses.

Meanwhile, elsewhere, Bumblebee’s being reckless and racing around, as Hound and Beachcomber follow towards a cargo transport. Bumblebee slips inside, then immediately falls back out, having been shot in the chest. Out come Thundercracker, Skywarp, and Ramjet, a welcoming party if there ever was one. No word on where the hell Starscream is in all this. The three shoot Beachcomber and Hound, who pass out.

Back with Optimus, the Prime’s addressing a group of Autobots, who are about to embark on a mission to protect the Celestial, a vessel in charge of monitoring Decepticon activity on Cybertron. Red Alert’s involved. He’s the only one named in the group. Optimus sends them out, and then it’s just him and Prowl. Prowl asks if he’s feeling alright, and Optimus admits to having been experiencing random blackouts and vivid nightmares. Prowl is all “OMG saaaaame” and they decide to go see Ratchet.

As they’re making their way to the medical bay, Kup catches up to them with the bad news.

You mean you didn’t CHECK before you came down here?

They all run for the medical bay to find Ratchet in the throws of a seizure. Unconscious or dead, huh? Way to go, Kup.

First Aid is there, but Optimus takes matters into his own hands.

Protip: don’t do this. Slapping a seizing person isn’t going to fix anything.

Ratchet wakes up, shaken, from his own hellish vision.

Back with Hound, who’s just woken up in a prison cell, there’s a problem: Blaster is also here, in the cell opposite his own. And he had been for over two months. Getaway and Bluestreak are there too, but that’s not as important. What is important is that someone’s been impersonating Blaster and feeding the Autobot forces false intel.

Back at Nightmare Central, our three dreamboats are comparing notes. They’re all having different visions, and entering them in different fashions. Prowl has his Decepticon skeleton flesh-vore dream that starts with a white-out, Optimus sees a golden disk spinning in a black hole, and blacks out before it starts, and Ratchet is faced with an irreparable patient and is haunted by guilt, preceded by a sudden loss of feeling and breakdown. Prowl labels Ratchet’s entry into the dreamscape as Involuntary Systems Shutdown, but First Aid disagrees.

Prowl, don’t argue with the doctor. He knows more about your body than you do.

…Okay, maybe argue with the doctor a little. Looks like he’s got a touch of the reefer madness.

No, Limbo’s a thing that was established in the comics. You can only get there if you’re a victim of mass-displacement time-travel shenanigans. You see, if someone time travels, there needs to be something of equal mass that’s removed from where they’re jumping to, otherwise rifts in space-time happen. When the mass-equivalent is removed, it can’t just flat-out disappear, so it gets taken to Limbo to wait it out until the time traveler heads back to their original time. Back in ’86, when Galvatron, Cyclonus, and Scourge were being time-menaces, Ratchet, Prowl, and Optimus got shunted off into Limbo. They were there for a while.

Why the hell does First Aid know this, though? Because he went to Limbo in ’87, when Death’s Head was jumping around.

It could very well be, Optimus theorizes, that when the Time Travel Trio got sucked back into the rift, there was a sort of cross-contamination that happened, since the rift and Limbo were both connected.

Back at Darkmount, the captured Autobots are discussing their current predicament, and how it may lead to more in the near future. Blaster’s really hoping that Optimus figures out what’s going on soon, before things get really bad.

They need to get out of these cells, obviously, but how? The only way to break the electro bars is with an ionic disrupter, and nobody here has one.

Just kidding. Bumblebee’s got one hard-wired into his body. Problem is, it’s pretty weak, and just isn’t going to cut it. There’s a moment of defeat, then some old geezer enters the conversation. He’s got something that’ll amplify the disrupter enough to get them out of there. The only catch is it’s wired deep enough into his body that using it will kill him.

This presents quite the quandary to our Autobots, as their moral code forbids killing under any circumstances. Hound’s still very much on board with said code, but everyone else seems to be thinking of the greater good. The old Autobot himself even admits that he wouldn’t survive an escape attempt, and really just wants to be done with it all.

This is a very different take than the ones we’ve been seeing so far- even in the softer takes, the Autobots have, at the very least, accepted that death was a part of war, even if they didn’t like it. A big part of it is that it’s Hound, whose personality at the time was one of a soft-hearted, benevolent human-wannabe.

Roberts is going to put him through hell in this, isn’t he?

Back over at Autobot City, those fifteen Autobots Optimus briefed earlier just left for the Celestial.

I’m sure it’ll be fine!

While this is happening, Prowl remembers that thing he was trying to tell Optimus about earlier- namely, the cargo run Bumblebee, Hound, and Beachcomber were on. They aren’t back yet. What’s up with that?

Optimus decides to call Blaster to see what’s up with that, but gets a little suspicious when Blaster suggests they send more folks down to the cargo transport. After a bit of delegating with Prowl, Optimus sets a sort of verbal trap, asking how Witterquick is settling in on the ship. There’s never been an Autobot by that name, but not-Blaster takes the bait as Red Alert and pals show up. With that, he hangs up.

Because Optimus now knows that not-Blaster is not Blaster, he thinks it’s about time they pay Cybertron a visit and save the day. Before they can do that though, their collective vision explodes with a white flash, and they all pass out.

Meanwhile, Hound’s gotten over his disapproval of killing a man, as he and his cellmates plunder his dead body and plug components into Bumblebee’s head to make the most powerful hat ever conceived. With a little effort and concentration, Bumblebee manages to disrupt the bars so they can get out of there. Everyone is very proud of Bumblebee for this. They release the rest of the Autobot prisoners and Hound is appointed impromptu leader of the whole shebang, all while he’s got that old dead robot slung over his shoulder. He intends to give him a proper burial. He’s going to be carrying this guy for the rest of the story.

Good luck with that, Hound.

An Autobot named Courier seems to know the layout of Darkmount pretty well, so they let him take point and take them to the armory. They don’t ask why he knows where the armory is, just let him lead them there. It’s almost too easy. I don’t trust Courier.

Yeah, this guy’s evil.

They burst into the throne room to find an ambush, and then quickly discover that their weapons are fakes. Goddammit, did nobody check the roster to make sure all their guys were actually their guys? At this point it’s all on y’all for not making sure everyone was on the up and up.

[ccwriteswoffanfic]

Dreaming of You ~ Liam & Amber

Date: 30 November 2019

Time: 1:00AM

I'm gathering up these nights, black on black. I know your voice like its my own and it makes my heart go slack.

Amber had woken up from somewhat of a nightmare, stray strands of hair stuck to her forehead with sweat. She scooted her pregnant body from the bed as carefully and quietly as she could, as to not wake Chase. She grabbed her phone from the night stand, mostly to check the time and headed to the bathroom. Sitting her phone on the counter top and then sitting to do her business.

As she sat, she recalled the dream or "nightmare", she had woken up from. Her dad had gotten in accident and ended up in the hospital. She remembered her sister and her mom being in the waiting room and Liam, comforting her. Of course, that was normal, a best friend comforting another during something scary and sad. But she remembered a certain comfort, a certain feeling she had felt in that dream. One she had felt in real life a couple more times just recently. A longing, wanting even.

There had been a small spark between them a long time ago, when they had worked together but that was long gone. For years. She couldn't have feelings for him now. Could she?

No. She shook her head. She was tired, exhausted even, hormonal. Emotional. And had just had a bad dream that involved the person she loved more than anything in the hospital. It was normal to feel this many feelings after that. Especially when you were pregnant. She sighed as she stood, washed her hands, and dried them. Checking her phone, 1AM. She unlocked it and found his name in her phone. 'Hemsworth🐻'. She knew he was back in LA, had told her he flew back in to spend some time with brothers before the holiday weekend was over, but at one in the morning wherever he was, he was more than likely asleep. It didn't matter, the worst that could happen was that he would see it when he woke up and laugh. So she sent him the "You awake?" text and quietly walked from the bathroom down the stairs into the living room and flopped on the couch.

She chewed on her nail, mindlessly scrolling through instagram when her phone pinged. It was Liam. She slid the notification down the screen.

"Kind of. What's up? Everything good?!."

A small frown formed on her face and a hand dropped to her stomach, smoothing over it once. She hadn't even thought about the fact that 1 AM text while she was this pregnant could scare the hell out of someone.

"Mostly. Are you home?"

Before he could respond she was up looking for her keys. 'Maybe if I just go see him. It'll clear my head' she thought to herself. Her scattered, tired brain had let her miss that her keys were on the key hook where she usually kept them, twice. On the third look she grabbed them, then slid on her shoes that sat by the front door and as quickly and quietly as she could and headed to her car.

The phone went off again and she backed out of the driveway. And as she stopped at a stop sign in the middle of the quiet, deserted neighborhood, she grabbed it and looked at the response of 'I am' from her friend and continued the drive across the city, to his house.

Blasting the music on the way she drowned out all of the thoughts in her head. When she was about 5 minutes from Liam's place her phone rang, she let it go until it stopped and then pinged again. She wondered if he'd just gotten worried since she had frantically texted him and then suddenly wasn't responding. She waited until she reached Liam's street before stopping the car and picking up her phone again to take a look. It was Chase.

"Hey, where did you disappear to?"

Her heartbeat sped up a little and she squeezed her eyes shut. A heavy breath escaping her lungs before she responded.

"Had a nightmare. I'm safe. I just needed a drive and some fresh air. Be home soon. I love you."

It wasn't a complete lie but she didn't like that she felt the need to even do so a little. This was the man that had loved her through her worst days and now she was here. Doing who knew what. But she couldn't figure it all out until she saw Liam. Tears falling from her eyes, she drove the couple thousand feet she had left to Liam's drive.

She parked, grabbing her phone. Wiping her face although tears again were forming in her eyes. She approached Liam's door knocking softly, hoping she wouldn't wake Dora. After about a minute and a second knock she saw a dim light go on and as she wiped another tear from her face looking at the time on her phone. 2:05AM. The door creaked open and she looked up at the man before her, her watery green eyes, meeting Liam's deep blues. "Hey you, everything okay?" a soft smile on his lips but the worry showed in the rest of his expression.

"It's nothing, I just had this horrible dream. It was stupid. I.." She stopped as she felt the younger man pull him into her in hug. Her head now against his bare chest, he held her there for a moment.

"Let's get you inside before the rain starts and get you some tea, yes?"

She pulled away from him with a nod. Following him into the house and to the dining table near the kitchen. "Tell me about this dream" he said, turning into the kitchen.

As she watched him move around, preparing the tea, she recounted all the details of the dream she remembered, leaving out the feelings she had felt in the dream and once she woke up.

"You scared me, you know? I'm glad that's all it was." he finally said softly.

"Sorry Hemsworth." she apologized, sincerely.

The tea kettle went off moments later and he grabbed it from the stove top turning and pouring the tea into the two cups he had sat on the counter before. "You're a no sugar girl, right?"

"I am" she said. It was a small detail but it made her smile that he had remembered it for so long.

"It's been awhile since I've made middle of the night tea. With Chi it's all about pizza and ice cream" he chuckled, approaching the table with the cups.

He reached across the table handing her the one that was hers. As they sat in silence both sipping from their cups, she heard the rain begin pounding on the roof.

Their eyes met each others for a moment. "Speaking of China, I talked to her dad and I think I got his permission" he said, excitement lacing his tone. His blues eyes lit up the way they only did when he talked about the girl.

And in that moment she decided she didn't need to tell him anything. What she maybe, felt about him wasn't worth it. He was happy and she was so happy for him. 2019 hadn't been kind to him and he deserved this happiness. And she adored China. The girl had, a rough as hell year as well. She had finally found something that made her feel safe again. The two of them deserved to be in love and get married and have kids and all the things she had been lucky enough to find with Chase.

She realized it had been a minute or so since he last spoke and she hadn't said anything. She looked back at him " So we're really doing this now?" she asked, a sincere smile forming on her face.

Liam, taking another sip of his tea, raising an eyebrow at the 'we' that came so easily from Amber but he sat his cup down smiling back.

"We are definitely doing this now. Hopefully I'll make it the next few weeks" he joked.

"Good luck" she said, shaking her head. Knowing he had wanted to ask the girl quite a few times this past month. Which would make it all the more wonderful when he finally did.

They chatted for a little bit longer before Dora appeared at Liams feet. "Hey girl" he said petting her head. He looked to Amber "That must mean it's about 3 in the morning. Her favorite time to get up and pretend she has to go pee."

Amber flipped over her phone "310" she laughed softly. "I should be headed out. Chase will be worried"

Liam shook his head. "I'll take care of Chase, it's pouring out there still. I'm not letting you drive in this"

She sighed, "Fine. It's just I didn't really come here to talk to you about that dream. Well not just that dream. But. Nevermind. I just need to lie down I think"

The younger man nodded, "I'm gonna take her out quickly and then we'll turn you on some FRIENDS or something and get everything else settled"

She watched him stand up, grabbing Dora's lead and sliding on a pair of slippers. The sound of the rain coming through the door as he opened it and followed the dog out.

Amber hadn't realized she'd been nodding off until the door closed and she heard that familiar voice, snapping her back awake"I can get you a blanket if you wanna sleep here" he laughed. She watched as he removed the slippers and grabbed a towel that just happened to be sat by the door, rubbing off Dora's feet. Petting her quickly before she ran to the kitchen to get a drink of water. Amber's tired eyes widening as he then stood, slowly approaching her, and carefully scooped her from the chair. "Sheesh you're heavier than I remember"

Out of habit a hand landed on Amber's stomach and she let out a quiet chuckle "The worst person I know".

He laughed with her as he carried her into a barely decorated bedroom. Setting her down on the bed, which lacked anything but sheets and a pillow. "Let me go grab you a blanket and another pillow" he said and stalked away.

The blonde woman lay down as she waited, closing her heavy eyelids. She was still slightly awake and aware when Liam came back. "I told Chase I was saving you from the rain. I'll make us breakfast in the morning and then if you wanna talk about that other thing, we can or you can go back home to your husband before he hunts you down" he laughed.

"Sounds good" Amber said, sleepily.

She felt the blanket being placed over her and the other pillow he had brought sat behind her on the bed. A whispered "Goodnight Amber, Love you friend", was the last thing she heard.

She barely muttered out a "Goodnight". Before she drifted off into another, hopefully dreamless(this time), sleep.

[secret-rendezvous1d]

D E C E M B E R  1 S T

REQUEST someone else mentioned pubes talk, and I thought it would be hilarious if Harry was trying to do something romantic like cooking a Christmas Eve meal but naked and there was singe-ing (not singing!).

Hello.

Hi.

Welcome to Blogmas, 2018!

I’ve been so excited for December to come around and it’s arrived so quickly. I love this time of year and I get to be festive on here and away from here and that makes me incredibly happy; Blogmas is one of my favourite things to do on here and I’m pleased that it’s back again... and I can only hope you enjoy this year as much as you have other years. 

Feedback is welcomed, as always - please let me know what you think of my pieces, send me any constructive criticism you think would help out, any ways to make my writing better, anything. It really helps me and keeps me motivated to write and we get to work as a team to make things better, for me to write and for you to read. 

This little something takes place during the December of 2017. When they’ve conceived Persephone and are on the verge of finding out that they’re going to a mum and dad! It’s not too Christmas-y but I can assure you that the rest of Blogmas will be festive, all around.

Enjoy! xx

When he’d woken up that morning, Harry had been in a specific mood where all he wanted to do was show off love and affection towards his wife.

A glance to his left showed him fluttering lashes against pale cheeks and a face that looked a little worse for wear after having been hit with a rough, sleepless night from the moment they had decided to settled down and had routinely started getting ready for bed. After a cruel round of nausea, that didn’t seem to let up and leave as just a phase, that had knocked her for six. She had had an excitable demeanour that had been filling the house with laughter and her shrill cackles throughout the evening, cracking jokes and giving his bum pinches and squeezes when he passed her by, singing Christmas songs into a makeshift microphone (which was a clenched fist that she held in front of her mouth) and she had managed to keep a conversation about sex and having a night of pure passion - ”to bring Christmas in with a good night” what she had won the argument with - on the table. 

But that person had moulded into someone that lost all strength to cooperate within the click of a finger and had depended on Harry tending to her every need; waking her up when her head lulled to lay on his shoulder, guiding her up the stairs when she made it clear that her eyes were bleary and misted over, holding her tightly when her balance had been thrown off with a guttural feeling that she struggled to hide, and undressing her when her limbs felt heavy and dead.

An empty bucket occupied the space in front of her bedside table, a glass of water sat upon a woven coaster that his mother had gifted to her on her very-first Christmas spent as his girlfriend, a crumpled and dirty tissue had been thrown onto the top of the table, and a thermometer - that had been used in a frenzy, by Harry, after he’d finished panicking about her sudden illness and after he had tucked her up in bed once he dressed her into something warm and comfortable - was placed upon a book that sat adjacent to her lamp. A receipt sticking out from a page because she had lost her bookmark and needed a little something to keep her place. The painstaking silence that filled the bedroom as she slept, that was usually a silence that he liked to use as thinking time or as a time of reflection or to use to his advantage as he thought about song lyrics for new singles and songs for future albums, allowed him to hear her jagged breathing, the bubbles of her gut and the whistle that came from her nose with each out breath that pushed through from her lungs.

And even though she looked somewhat serene and peaceful, she still looked sick... and he hated that.

He hated seeing her so low, hated seeing her so down in the dumps and with a pucker on her brows that didn’t seem to loosen up, hated hearing her be so self-critical of herself and homing a permanent frown upon her face whenever she looked at herself or saw a glimpse in a shiny surface. He hated seeing her look so unhappy that a kiss and a cuddle and a crack of a silly joke couldn’t even bring a smile to her lips, hated how she felt so lethargic and he hated how she wanted to be on her own so she could sleep and get better without passing anything to him - because she had always deemed him as more important and never wished to tear away his happy spirit for more than a day - and he absolutely hated how he couldn’t take away any aches and pains.

He hated that one the most.

Because not matter where her aches and pains came from, he wanted to take them from her in an instant. Just so she never had to endure something so bad and so unpleasant. 

Rolling onto his side, the mattress creaking beneath his weight, he delicately brushed his fingertips over her forehead and brushed her fringe away from her clammy skin. Thankfully, she didn’t feel as flushed as she had done before they both fell asleep but she still felt tacky and sticky and there were traces of sweat that had trickled down her jawline and disappeared behind her ears in a trail that was purely controlled by gravity. Resembling the look of tear-streaks but in no way were they. She squeaked in her sleep, her mouth moving in a motion that looked like she was chewing on something and sounded like a wet muscle sucking upon another, before her eyes fluttered open to start the day. A faint glimmer from a street-light outside their home, that was one of the many consecutive lamps that lined their Hampstead street, shone through the slit in the curtains and allowed a glow to form silhouettes on the walls and shadows upon her face from her features. Glowing in the colour of her eyes before she rubbed them with her fists.

“Good morning,” she rasped, a lopsided grin on her dry lips as she brought her hands up, groaning in delight whilst she stretched her arms above her head and pushed her knuckles into the fabric headboard behind their heads. Mewling and arching her back as she removed the kinks and the sleep of her limbs and let her whole body relax and flop beneath the duvet. His eyes watching her with concern. “What’s up? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“You just look very lovely this morning,” he crooned, cupping her cheek with his palm and running his thumb across her cheek. He sounded cheesy and he knew that because, well, how could he see her in the dark? But she had grown so used to his sweet nothings being vocalised over the years, which always made her feel better, that she would take them over a simple ‘good morning’ any day of the week. His bare fingers feeling strange against her skin, since she was used to the sharp tingle of the cold metal of his rings against her warm cheeks, and she rather loved how they stroked her so mutedly. Her head tilting into his touch as a show of her appreciation. “Are you feeling better? You sound much better.”

“I feel a little sick still. A little wobbly, as well. Knees feel a little bit like jelly. And, is it weird that I can’t make proper fists with my hands?” She asked curiously and innocently and looking at him with a concerning look in her eyes. Sleep still evident in her voice as she spoke, stretching her arms into the air and fanning her fingers out for them both to look at, before wiggling them and curling them into a loose fist to prove a point to her question A gentle laugh leaving his lips as he rested his arm over her belly, hitching her t-shirt up with his wrist and palming the soft plump of her tummy - because that had always helped with period cramps, and belly-aches in general, and he had an inkling that it may have helped with making her feel a little more content. “But I’m fine. Yeah, I’m fine. I don’t think I’ll projectile vomit like I did last night. A sleep did me some good.”

He bumped his nose against her shoulder, inhaling a musky scent that he had always seemed to associate with sickness and being poorly, and puffed out the deepest sigh. He knew, firsthand, how she was feeling; regardless of being ‘a freak to staying healthy’, so she would call him. Because even ‘health-freaks’ fell ill. 

Particularly as an active youngster with a social-life that took him off all over Holmes Chapel, he was prone to catching illnesses - from his friends at school to his sister, who liked to bathe in the sympathy she gained from those around her (and still did, and she found herself boldly admitting that), to the strangers that he passed, who seemed to have no respect for anyone around them as they coughed with no hand covering their mouth and sneezed with no tissue. Whenever he fell sick, or whenever he woke up with a poorly stomach or a sore head or clammy skin that, once he jumped on Google, he found out were symptoms of something yet to come, there was a smell that lingered in the air and it was one that he had grown to associate with having to be lazy, having to eat soup and dry toast and having days off for a reason. 

Not so much as he grew older but he caught the odd germ, that lingered in the air and clung to everyday objects ,and the occasional tummy-bug from something that didn’t quite settle well with his stomach  and the smell always seemed to find a way back to him. That made him smell odious, more than he would smell after a hard session at the gym, and made him feel gross. To the point where he would have slept in the bath if it was safe enough. It made him feel young, like he was the young pre-teen who wanted nothing more than to disappear from the world and watch Lord Of The Rings on the television in his bedroom and drink cups of warm tea and eat bowls of tomato soup until he felt better again. 

And he couldn’t wait for the day when he felt fresh, smelt good and looked youthful and radiant again.

“Sure you’re feeling okay?”

“I’m feeling okay,” she confirmed with a nod, “I’m a bit hungry though. I could do with some toast. Maybe some porridge drowned in sugar.”

“Shall we, uh, let’s just go easy on the thick porridge and go for something a little softer, yeah? A couple of pieces of dry toast, maybe?” He suggested. Her elbows pushing down into the mattress and holding her upper body up from the bed, hair knotted at the back of her head and tendrils sticking to her face with dried perspiration, as she frowned at him with distaste. If there was one thing she hated... it was dry toast. The neck of her t-shirt looked worn-out and over-stretched and sported the occasional hole within the dirty-white cotton that had a picture of Fleetwood Mac peeling off of the front, in tiny flecks that looked like paint peeling on a vintage wall. “I know you hate it but I think some dry toast would be best for you this morning. Maybe an apple or a banana, too. Just to see if you can keep that down.”

“And what if I do? Will you let me have some porridge then?”

She sounded seductive, her voice lowering an octave and a pout on her lips that only came out when they were in the bedroom, and he shook his head with amused disbelief. That was just like his wife. The woman who could still crack jokes, still play on their hormones, still make him horny and turn him on and still be in the mood for sex when she was ill. 

“We’ll see, baby,” he hummed tiredly and rolled onto his back, clasping his hands over her belly and staring at the ceiling as YN kicked away the duvet and sat up on the mattress, “we’ll see. I’ll make you something better for lunch.”

The silence lingering in the air felt tranquil. Cars driving down the street, kids screeching and cackling their high-pitched laughter on the way to Hampstead Heath, parents calling out their names and scolding them to ‘be careful by the roads’, birds tweeting their birdsong in the trees and the neighbours’ gates creaking closed as they arrived and departed their homes to embark on long and tedious journeys to spend Christmas with their families. 

She reached over and placed a flat palm on his ribs, scratching his skin lightly whilst his eyes fluttered shut, her eyes lingering on him as he laid beside her; his long eyelashes resting on his prominent cheekbones, his eyelids wrinkling as he squeezed them shut in an attempt to salvage any more sleep he had, his short fringe curling at the ends and in need of a thorough wash because it was starting to look like straw. His jawline was decorated with patches of messy scruff and his upper lip seemed to be adorned with a stretch of stubble that he, quite probably and much to her dismay, would shave off during his morning routine.

“Are you busy today?” She asked, breaking the silence capturing his attention as he peered at her with one open eye, “I don’t want you to be busy today. I want you to stay inside and look after me.”

“I thought you were feeling better. You don’t need someone to look after you if you’re not sick,” he breathed out and smirked in her direction, “did you lie to me? You know what happens when you lie.”

She feigned a cough, before faking a heavy groan and gripping her side, before she sniffled and attempted to reach for the bucket beside the bed.

“Don’t muck me around, darling,” he cackled, “said you were fine.”

She sighed and her shoulders dropped south. Like a reversed shrug that didn’t quite make it all the way. 

“I’m not busy until the new year, baby, no. You know that. I told you after me and Jeffrey had that argument over the phone about me going to America for an appearance on a show out there. I’m all yours till you have to share me again,” he teased, pushing the duvet off of his body and kicking it towards the end of the bed with his bare feet, “but I wouldn’t be obliged to you wanting me to stay here, forever and ever, so we don’t need to share each other with anyone.”

“Told him to sod off and he didn’t know what that meant,” she snorted and ruffled her fringe with her fingers, to remove the tickle that was brushing over her forehead. Sitting himself up, he crossed his ankles and reached over for his mobile that was charging on his bedside table, pressing the home button and revealing a photo of himself and YN, from the year of 2012, with complete awe on their faces as they sat on the stage at Madison Square Garden and took in the view before them. A smile on her face as she scooted closer to him and nestled into his side. “It would be nice if we could stay here forever and ever. I like spending time with you.”

“You can spend time with me for forever and ever,” he said, grabbing her hand and rubbing her knuckles with the calloused pad of his thumb, “got married a few months back so you’re stuck with me forever. Which means I’m stuck with you forever.”

“Unfortunately,” she joked, turning her face to press a kiss to his cheek but catching his ear lobe as he jerked away from her in fake annoyance. Her lips pressing against the shell of his ear in a kiss before she realised where she was laying her mouth. 

“Oi,” he struck her with a flick of his foot, catching her ankle with the tips of his toes, “don’t kid me around, baby. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. I adore you and I love you and,” he paused for what seemed to be a dramatic effect when, in reality, he was letting his mind work wonders on how he was going to show off his love, “and I’m gon’a prove it to you later, n’all.”

“How?” She wondered, a glint in her eyes as she looked at him, “tell me. Don’t make it a surprise.”

“I’m going to cook you dinner. We’re going to go against our typical tradition of a takeaway on Christmas Eve and I’m going to cook you everything you could ever dream of. Mash, chicken, chargrilled veggies. The lot. Since you’re feeling better and all,” he grinned and pressed a strong kiss against her forehead, dropping his phone to the space between them and scooting his bum towards the edge of the bed, “you’re not going to do anything but put your feet up and relax. Do some blog writing, edit some of your photos, plan recipes or photoshoots, or whatever else you do. Let me do something for you since you’ll be on your feet Christmas Day.”

Despite them having this year to themselves and not having that many people to cook a meal for - what with YN’s parents away on a warm getaway for the festive period and with Gemma and Michal heading off to Michal’s parents and Anne spending Christmas Day with her friends in Manchester - they still had people to see and presents to gift to those nearest and dearest to them so they both knew, and they knew every year, that they would never be able to have a proper sit down, with no unwanted interruptions and no sudden invitations to hang out at the local pub with Nick, until the evening. When they could wind down with bottles of wine and left over pigs-in-blankets and stuffing balls whilst watching the soaps and the Christmas television that was scheduled to air. When they could kiss under mistletoe that was put up just for them, when they could wear ugly jumpers without anyone having their say in how hideous they were, when they could go to bed before nine and get away with it because it was just the two of them. 

And they couldn’t wait. 

“Aren’t you just a darling, huh?”

“I do my best to impress,” he threw over his shoulder sent her a strained wink with a green eye. A click of his tongue partnered that motion before he stood up and stretched his back. One hand braced on one hip as he arched his body and rubbed his belly with his other hand. “Come have a shower with me. Freshen up.”

“Fuck!”

His profanity startled her.

Her tea having spilled over the brim of her mug when she jumped at the break of the pleasant silence, dribbling down the white ceramic held between her hands and landing upon her knitted sweater in brown droplets, that looked like a children had drawn raindrops. The sudden jerk of her body shooting a chill through her limbs since she’d been so content with one specific position, set up perfectly so she could rest her laptop on her thighs and her camera on the thick cushion at the back of the sofa and where her mug was in arms reach and the television remote was right in front of her, that the air had a sudden temperature change and goosebumps rose upon her skin.

“What did you do?” She called, apprehensively letting her fingers hover over the lid of her laptop before deciding to close it and take a look at what damage he had done. Lifting her feet from the arm of the sofa, she placed them upon the ground and pushed her laptop to the empty sofa cushion beside her, leaning over to set her camera and her SD card delicately upon the coaster Harry had previously used for his own coffee mug before announcing that he was going to disappear into the kitchen to start cooking them dinner. “Harry?”

There was a clatter of pots and pans before his  head peered around the frame of the kitchen archway with a displeased look upon his features and his hands clasped over his apron-covered crotch. A heavy handful of the laminate material scrunched in his palms, forming pleats up the chest, and revealing a little bit of fuzzy thigh from the red hem.

“So, uh, do you remember that discussion we had this morning?”

“We have a lot of discussions,” she reminded him, standing from her place before halting and allowing herself to take in his exposed shoulders, his bare hips and a nipple peeking out from the chest of the apron hanging down his body, “are you cooking naked under there?”

“Yes,” he rolled his eyes and released a hand to run his fingers through his hair, “the discussion in the shower that we had this morning. When I asked if you preferred me shaved or... messy,” he prompted, cheeks flushing pink as he watched a smirk toy with the corner of her lips and a raise of her eyebrow that made him want to cower with embarrassment. A look of ‘I know where this is going’ threading her features together and he huffed out a heavy breath, blowing a few strands from his forehead, “don’t. I know what you’re about to say.”

“Why were you cooking naked?”

Her cackling laughter entices a reflexive smile to appear upon his lips, revealing two front teeth from a pillow of pink flesh, as his green eyes looked down towards his pigeon-toed feet clad in a pair of her woollen socks - which had proven a difficulty when he was a good few shoe sizes up from her own - with one pulled up to his mid-calf and one bunched around his ankle.

“I was, uh,” he coughed into his free fist and gave her a sheepish smile, “I was trying to be, uh, I was just trying to be sexy for you, you know? But I think I might have, uhm, I think I might have singed some hair down there when I reached up to have a play with the fan of the cooker because the vegetables got a bit too steamy and, I was bloody lucky to have missed the goods, but-”

“H,” she sighed, stretching her arms out and wiggling her fingers as she forced herself to step closer to him, a frown on her face as her amused expression disappeared into a look of concern and worry, “you know that I already find you insanely sexy. Even dressed in this monstrosity,” she snorted and snaked her arms around his waist, wrists ducking underneath the cotton strands tied at the middle of his back and letting her fingers tickle around the broad stretch of his back, “you don’t need to impress me anymore. We’re married.”

“Heeey,” he grumbled into the thick material of her sweater. His hands hitching up the heavy hem before settling his palms above the elastic of her pyjamas trousers and upon her hips, squeezing her to his front as she hummed with content against his naked shoulder, “I do need to keep impressing you or else you’ll see through everything else and realise I’m not as great as you think I am.”

She scoffed and shook her head; “that’s rubbish and you know it.”

He chose not to respond and felt her lips press against his shoulder in a gentle and reassuring manner. 

“I think I burnt the chicken, as well. Or, at least I did something to it because it looks black.”

“I love you because you tried but I will love you even more if you stopped what you were doing and didn’t end up burning the house down the day before Christmas,” she mumbled against his skin, tiptoeing and taking a sneaky glance over his stature to scan the mess he made (that she would most likely clean up whilst he disappeared to dress in something much warmer for the time of year). A bowl of lumpy mashed potatoes, a chopping board covered in carrot skin and chopped red onions and tomato juice that had seeds floating in the puddles, the microwave door left wide open and there was a pan on the cooker that was steaming away - and she dreaded to know what he had concocted. Or had planned to concoct. “Do you want me to order in a takeaway? I’ll save you ruining your dignity.”

He gave her a sarcastic smile before unravelling his arms from around her waist.

“So long as it’s a takeaway Wagamama’s then I’m good with that decision. I’m in the mood for-”

“Chicken katsu curry with extra curry sauce and some chicken dumplings on the side,” she guessed and he pinched her hip with his thumb and forefinger, “I can read you like a book, mister.”

“Oh, so it’s not because you’ve ordered that for me a thousand times before?” He scoffed and strained away from her with a cheeky smile on his mouth, “or is it because you’re going to order something you don’t really want and then ask me to swap meals because you really want the chicken katsu curry because it’s ‘your favourite’?”

“Well then,” she gave him bare bottom a pat with her fingers and wiggled out of his hold, “if you’re not going to offer your wife your meal when she wants it, then, a divorce may be on the cards.”

She spins on her heels and attempts to walk away from him, in the direction of the ‘menu drawer’ in their hallway cabinet to grab the takeaway menu, but his hand wrapped around her wrist before she was out of his reach. His arm pulling her back towards him.

“How about you go nuts? Get whatever you fancy. We can have some for a midnight feast if we get hungry.”

“It’s Christmas Eve, I’m exhausted and I’m feeling a little achy so the only thing I’ll be doing, come midnight, is sleeping.”

“I doubt you’ll be sleeping after we’re done giving Santa a show,” he waggled his eyebrows, “he won’t be getting mince-pies and milk tonight. He’ll be getting a live sex-show.”

“You’re gross,” she squawked with surprise and pushed his chest with her palms, pushing herself away from his body, “go upstairs and get dressed into something warm, please. Before you do yourself and your body hair any more damage.”

[misslittykitty]

Please Forgive Me

Characters: Steve x female Reader (1st person POV)

Prompt: “Sorry doesn’t fix everything” (bolded in story)

Word count: 2900-ish

WARNINGS: pining, miscarriage (early stage), 1st person (if that’s a warning), fluff

Author’s Note: This was written for @wehaveabucky ‘s 2.5 K Challenge. I’m sorry it took such a long time to get it done and I’m still not happy with it (especially the second part) but I hope you like it anyways 😊

Thanks to @nerdywusch for beta-reading this 😊

This story is based on something I read (by the life of me, I can’t remember where I think it was Pinterest but I can’t find it anymore) that dealt with an idea of the super soldier serum having a side effect when procreating.

Please Forgive Me

The beard he’d grown out fascinated me. His hair – longer than I’d ever seen it on him – mesmerized me; creating an ache inside me. My fingers itched, longing to run through his beard; through the soft strands of his hair. And as much as I might’ve wanted to, I was unable to tear my gaze away from him. A sigh I hardly noticed escaped my lips.

How long had it been since our last time together? Had it really been over two months since I’d last felt his warmth surround me? Felt his strong arms holding me close? Heard his heart beat in his chest just as fast as my own?

I yearned for it, for him. Wanted him, needed him. But at the same time, I knew that it probably was too late. Those times, those stolen hours of the night, were over. I, myself, as well as circumstance, had seen to that.

I sighed again, by now I’d lost count of how many times in the last half hour. A throat being cleared across from me made me finally able to tear my gaze away from him and I found Natasha sitting there. My eyes widened, not having heard her approach, but she beat me to speak.

“I’ve been sitting here for two minutes and since then I’ve heard you sigh at least ten times. Why don’t you just go and talk to him?”

“You know perfectly well why not,” I replied, grimacing to get my point across before closing my eyes to counteract the burn of tears.

“You miss him.” Natasha’s voice was low, but her words reverberated as a scream inside my head, permeated me like an ice-cold shower so that a shiver ran through my whole body. God yes, I missed him. I missed him so much. I wanted him, needed him to be by my side. But, as I’d just said, it was too late.

A lone tear ran down my cheek despite my eyes still being closed and I quickly, angrily wiped it away with the back of my hand, a slight growl leaving my lips as I opened my eyes.

“It’s not so easy,” I told her. Another shiver ran up my spine and I reached for the glass on the table next to me, drinking the water in one long gulp as if I was suddenly dying of thirst. My palms, my whole skin felt sweaty, clammy even, while at the same time, a chill settled within my chest.

“I know it’s not,” Natasha said and reached for my hand which was still circled around the base of the glass. She took it in her own, giving it a gentle squeeze. “But, Y/N, you’ve gone through so much alone lately.”

“Not alone,” I replied, shook my head and was able to send her a small smile. I gave her hand a slight squeeze. “I’ve had you, Nat.”

Her head tilted sideways, and she returned my smile, then rolled her eyes and heaved a sigh. “Come on, Y/N. That was pure chance. If I hadn’t been in the hospital unit when you schlepped yourself in, you’d never have confided in me.”

She paused but stopped my interjecting at once by lifting her free hand and wagging a finger at me. “And you only did that after lots of prodding on my part. But I knew that I wasn’t the one you wanted, the one you needed to be by your side. I’m still not.”

Several more tears had broken the waterline and were rolling down my cheeks while she was talking. Sniffling, I used my own free hand to wipe at them, angrily, furiously. At the same time, my lips formed into a small, sad smile.

She was right. I knew she was right. But I was unable to react to her words. I felt frozen in place, indecision gnawing at my insides. Just thinking about approaching him in front of all these people made me dizzy. And I couldn’t shake the undeniably queasy sensation festering in the pit of my stomach.

I felt a shiver run through me again and a cold sweat break out all over my skin. Looking down, I found the hand that had settled on my stomach trembling.

“Y/N,” Natasha tried again, her pronunciation of my name sharp, almost threatening. My head shot up to look at her. “He needs to know. You need him to know. Talk to him. Tell him what’s going on and apologize.”

“Sorry doesn’t fix everything,” I gave back, shaking my head again. I averted my gaze and started to pull my hand away, but Natasha was having none of it. She held on to my hand, more tightly than she might have needed to. My eyes flicked back up to her face.

“No, it doesn’t. Not if you don’t mean it,” she said. “But just from looking at you, I know you do mean it. And he will, too.”

Her words seemed to force my gaze toward him, seeking out his form in the crowded common room of Avengers Tower. He was still at the bar, still sitting with Bucky and Sam. But this time, I found him already looking at me.

Our gazes met, held for a moment and he sent a smile my way before he rubbed the back of his neck and looked away, toward Sam. Seconds later, he focused on me again and when our eyes met for the second time, his smile still in place, I was able to return it.

My eyes feasted on him, on his face. On the way his beard had left out those spots on both corners of his mouth. And how a few strands of hair flopped to the side, falling slightly onto his forehead.

His gaze left mine and I watched him briefly saying something to Sam and Bucky before he stood. And, for the third time, his gaze found me while he strode through the crowd toward me.

This, as it seemed, was the push (or maybe rather pull) I’d needed because, when I realized what he was doing, I, too, rose from my seat, fully intending to meet him halfway.

Yet, a sudden sharp pain shooting through my abdomen had me doubling over and grabbing the table for balance. I cried out as the pain crashed over me like a wave and, subconsciously, one of my hands settled onto my belly.

“Y/N!” Natasha called out from across the table. I just so noticed that she’d gotten to her feet as well and was rushing around to my side. And then,

“Y/N, what happened?” He was there, right next to me and I stopped thinking, just latched on to him, grabbing handfuls of his shirt. His arms went around me at once, holding me, steadying me.

“Steve,” I said, my voice breaking as tears started to fall. Tears of pain, of embarrassment, of shame. Dizziness had taken hold, and I held tightly onto his shirt, my fingers almost cramping.

“Steve,” I started again, white noise in my head nearly blocking out my own voice. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Steve.” And with the sensation of having something run down my legs, everything went black.

------

A slow, steady beeping noise was the first thing I heard when I came to. A dim source of light shone down on me from somewhere above and whatever I was laying on was soft, dry and warm. Some small contraption had been clipped to my left pointer finger and something, or rather someone, was holding my right hand between both of theirs.

“Natasha?” I asked, my voice rough due to my dry throat. Whoever sat next to me drew in a sharp breath, followed by a sound of shuffling and the grip on my hand tightened for a second.

“No, not Natasha.” Upon hearing that voice, my eyes snapped open and I turned my head to the side so quickly, I almost saw stars. Blinking rapidly to clear my vision, his face came into focus and I took in his small, sad smile.

“Hi,” Steve said and the beeping noise I’d woken up to accelerated. I simply stared at him, unable to speak, at the same time unable to look away. My heart was pounding in my chest and only gradually I realized that the beeping was, in fact, my heartbeat, made audible by the contraption on my finger.

I felt the blush burn hot on my cheeks, and quickly averted my eyes before asking, “What happened?” My voice faltered on the second half of the question, the word a mere croak and a short cough tore from my throat.

“Here,” he said at once, rising from his seat and releasing the hold he had on my hand. From the bedside table, he procured a glass of water and sat down on the edge of the bed, placing his free arm around me for support.

Once I was upright, he brought the glass up to my lips and I reached for it with both hands. My fingers brushed against his when I took the glass from him and I drained the water with a few gulps.

“Better?” he asked, taking the glass and placing it on the table. Upon my nod, he started to get up, but I reached for him, took hold of his arm.

“Don’t go,” I breathed, running my hand along the part of his arm I could reach. “Stay, please.”

He met my gaze, held it and the expression on his face, especially in his eyes, was so soft, so loving, and so sad I just couldn’t help it. I lifted my right hand to his cheek, running the pads of my fingers along his cheekbone, scraped lightly through his beard and rested it on the back of his head.

“I’m so sorry, Steve,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper while my fingers played with the hair at the nape of his neck.

“Me, too.” His reply was just as quiet as mine had been. Slowly, he reached up to take my hand from his neck. He brought it around to his lips, placing a kiss on my palm before getting up and raising the headrest of my bed with the press of a button. He removed his hand from behind me, sat down facing me and reached for both of my hands.

“Oh god, Y/N.” The words burst from him, laced with pain, with sadness, I felt the tears prickle behind my eyes. And when he bent forward, resting his head on my blanket-covered thighs, I felt the first tears run down my cheeks.

“There was so much blood last night. At first, I thought you’d been shot,” he went on and I pulled one hand from his grasp to place it on his head and softly, gently carded my fingers through his hair.

Steve sighed, his grip on our still joined hands tightening before he brought them to his lips and pressed a loving, lingering kiss to the back of it. After a few more moments, he lifted his head, my hand in his hair sliding down until it reached his biceps.

Gingerly, he started to pull the blanket down and away from me until he’d found the hem of my shirt. Our eyes met when he peeled the thin fabric away, exposing the skin of my stomach to the chilly air. I drew a sharp breath, questioning, wondering where this was going. But then he leaned down and pressed his lips to the soft skin of my belly, tenderly; lovingly; featherlight.

The air whooshed out of me like a bullet, accompanied by a barely stifled sob and the hand I still had on his upper arm, bunched up his shirt it in a vice-like grip.  

This gesture paired with the look on his face when he sat back up and scooted closer to me, told me everything I needed to know. But, more than that, it forced words out of me. Words I should’ve spoken to him so much sooner, “I am pregnant.”

As soon as I’d said it, I halted, hesitated as I remembered what he’d told me mere minutes ago: ‘There was so much blood.’ Fresh tears welled up in my eyes, several running down my cheeks as the implication fully settled in: this new life which had been growing inside me…my baby…our baby…was gone. I wasn’t pregnant anymore.

Lips pressed into a thin line, I felt my lower lip start to tremble while tears simply streamed from my eyes and, eventually, a sob escaped. At once, Steve’s hands framed my face and he wiped away the moisture on my cheeks with the pads of his thumbs.

“Y/N,” he said softly, “don’t….” He interrupted himself, looked down for a second before meeting and holding my gaze once more. “There…there is something you should know about…well, about me.”

Steve paused again. I saw him swallow rather hard and I took hold of one of his hands still framing my face. This seemed to encourage him, because a small smile appeared on his lips, although it never reached his eyes.

“The reason why you lost the…our baby….” He said it slowly, deliberately, as if he, too, needed time to wrap his head around it all; to realize that, for a very short period, there had been a new life created by the both of us, together. He sighed, shook his head as if to clear it and continued, “It…it’s most likely to do with the serum. I…I had someone do some tests. It’s not totally certain yet but…it’s something I wouldn’t put past Dr. Erskine to have done. To prevent the bad guys from breeding an army of…you know.”

He removed a hand from my face and gestured at himself. “And especially considering what happened to Bucky…although that’s a slightly different serum….” He trailed off and averted his eyes. His shoulders slumped, and he bowed his head as if in shame.

Despite everything I’d just heard, I sat up straighter, leaned toward him and took hold of his face with both of my hands. He met my gaze but remained silent, just looked at me. I, too, stayed silent, took in his appearance for the first time from up close. He looked so different with the beard and longer hair. It made him seem older, so much older. Yet, his eyes – those two deep blue pools of emotion – were the same.

“Why…why did you have yourself tested and when?” I finally asked him in a quiet voice and I could’ve sworn, he blushed a little.

“The last time I was in Wakanda before I brought Bucky here. And why…well, I…ever since we started this…thing between us…I mean, I just…I wanted to know, to be…I don’t know…be prepared if…if it maybe ever got serious?”

This time, I was sure he blushed. I smiled before leaning in and pressing my lips to his, kissing him with all I had. He responded to me at once, opening to me, deepening the kiss and wrapping his arms around me to pull me closer. A shiver ran through my whole body and I hummed into the kiss.

“I love you, Steve Rogers,” I mumbled against his lips, fully intending to break our kiss but he didn’t let me. His mouth chased mine, one hand running up my back to my head and into my hair to bring our lips fully together again. I let my hands glide from his face down his neck to settle on his pecs and he tightened his hold on me.  

“Y/N Y/L/N,” he murmured against my skin as he slowly moved his lips across my cheek, “I’ve loved you since our first night together.”

I jerked back, eyes wide, mouth agape and stared at him, for a moment at a loss for words. “You mean the night…”

“…you fell asleep on my shoulder while we were watching ‘Gone with the Wind’,” he finished, a smile crinkling up the edges of his eyes. “It was the best nights sleep I had in a long time.”

“But that’s…I mean, that’s almost a year ago and….” I trailed off when he averted his gaze and fiddled with a crease in the blanket.

“It took me a while to…get a move on, yeah. And still, I kind of failed. I…I never meant for it to be just a…to be just sex. It was more to me, right from the start six months ago but…I don’t know. Whenever I’d vowed to myself to talk to you about us, about our relationship, something or other got in the way.” He looked up at me then, smiled sadly and shrugged. “I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

I returned his smile but instead of a reply, I place a brief kiss to his lips and pulled him into a hug. He gently moved his position so that I ended up laying half on top of him with my head resting on his shoulder, forehead pressed against the side of his neck. His arms wound around me, he placed his cheek on the top of my head holding me tight. I breathed in his scent, relished the warmth of his body and the comfort his embrace, his closeness offered.

I lost track of time, had no idea how long we stayed like this, just holding each other, breathing each other. Eventually, I head him sigh and then his voice, asking quietly, “So, where does this leave us?”

“Just right here, in this moment,” I replied in a whisper. “Together.”

“Together,” he repeated and added, “Always.”

“Always.”