#I’m sorry this whole situation is just reminding me of when people were throwing tantrums over ryder being the protagonist of andromeda | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dorimena · 4 years ago

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𝕱𝖎𝖗𝖊 𝖎𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖍𝖔𝖑𝖊

𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔱𝔢𝔯; todoroki shouto

𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱; 1.8k

𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰; sex toy (egg vibrator), public sex, slight exhibitionism, dry humping, implied edging, cursing, cumming in pants, dom!reader, sub!character

𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯 𝔱𝔞𝔤𝔰; I tried keeping the reader as gender-neutral as possible, Todoroki just wants you to know how much he loves you, so if wearing a vibrator makes you happy so be it, if this were the first time Todoroki were doing this he wouldn’t have shamelessly allowed himself to cum, aka I’m thinking about doing something with this AU I guess

𝔰𝔦𝔡𝔢𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢; This is for 🍦 anon’s ask about either Todoroki or Aizawa wearing a vibrator in a meeting. I decided to make him the son of CEO Endeavor, so this is a modern AU. There could be some errors around here, but I’ll check it out later. Sorry for the horrible title

Todoroki loves you; he truly does.

Even at the beginning of your relationship, while he still had difficulties in trusting you entirely and accidentally brushed you aside in fear of being too attached or clingy, he’s always known he loves you.

He loves you in the mornings when you wake him up with such a tired yet peaceful expression.

He loves you in the afternoons when you’re cooking dinner in the weird apron Mina gave you as a housewarming gift. (Why cheetah prints?)

He loves you in the night when you massage his shoulders after a treacherous meeting gone south too fast, easing words of adoration and affirmation into his mind while you’re sporting a funky looking face mask.

He loves you anywhere, anytime, however you look, however you talk… He’ll do anything to keep you happy and know about his unlimited love and respect for you.

Even if it means he has to wear an egg vibrator inside of him during his dad’s meeting. The very meeting where it’ll be decided if his dad’s company merges with some young entrepreneur’s named Keigo or something. He can’t seem to remember.

Not like he really cares, anyways. He doesn’t want to inherit his dad’s company. But Touya decided to spite their father by starting up his own, Fuyumi seems pretty happy being an elementary school teacher and Natsuo is busy being a doctor.

God, the only great thing to come out of inheriting this lame company is that he’ll get to see you every day, any day, all the time.

You’re one of his dad’s best logistician coordinators, and while no one in this meeting room know you two have been dating for much longer than your professional career, he’s certain that your horrible rendition of a relaxed façade will raise eyebrows at why him, the youngest Todoroki offspring, is trembling under your stare.

It’s kind of weird bringing something usually done in the bedroom and displaying it secretly in public. Even more weird considering the room is full of older people, except for him, you, that Keigo guy, some secretaries from both companies…

Where was he getting at again?

Oh, right.

The egg vibrator in his ass being controlled by your evil hands (and cellphone) buzzing so teasingly in him, he can’t remember the young entrepreneur’s name. Or the reason why he’s even willingly here in the first place.

He’s trying so hard to keep himself quiet, knowing how god awfully vocal he can get when teased or played with just right. He’s pretty sure his bottom lip is really close to bleeding, or already is. And his palms situated on the dark oak and, in your opinion, ridiculously high-priced table surely have deep dents of his fingernails, maybe some accidental scratches.

O-oh no!

“Shouto? Are… you alright?”

Shit, did he say that out loud?

“Yes, and refrain from vulgar language.”

Todoroki let go of his lip, blinking at his father as he raised an eyebrow. Or so he hopes he did.

“I’m fine. Stop worrying about me, old man.” And he’s never felt so happy hearing his father’s resigned sigh before the meeting continues. It’s unusual for the man to drop a conversation.

His joy doesn’t last for long: the vibrator in his ass is suddenly more intense than a few seconds ago, reminding him why he even spoke out loud.

Pressing his thighs together in hopes it’ll help lessen the buzzing he can finally hear, he looks across the table to give you what is meant as a curious look, but ends up just making him look completely lost.

Was it a slip of your thumb? Was it a punishment? But why punish him if he’s doing this for you? Had he been bad?

Did he miss something when you two spoke about it during breakfast? Wait, was your toast too burnt-

“Ah-” He gasped in surprise, with a frantic and scared look in his eyes. The rhythm of the vibrations changed into one that wasn’t as constant, but it’s still very, very pleasurable. Reminds him of his heartbeat when you milk another fast handjob out of him before he has to meet up with his father.

“Shouto, are you sure you’re alri-”

“Y-yes, father. I’m f-fine. L-leg cra-amp.” Well, it could’ve come out less coherent, but it’s the best he can speak with gritted teeth and tense shoulders, all while holding back his embarrassing whimpers. It’s enough, again, to make the elder Todoroki look away from his ‘agonizing’ son, soon wondering if these meetings are beginning to bore and wear out the young future CEO and soon make him feel a familiar fear he had when Touya-

But who cares about Enji’s worries and concerns when you have a trembling Shouto Todoroki, whose face is beginning to turn as red as half his hair and eyes as wet as his bottom lip after being bitten mercilessly. You’re sure you can see some red, probably dug his teeth too much and tore the skin a little, but it’s pretty swollen regardless. Maybe his dick is too?

Oh! What if you suck his dick under the table?

No, then everyone will know how he’s so smitten with you, just some random logistician coordinator instead of some offspring of another CEO. Funny how the supervisors care more about Shouto’s relationship status than his own father.

So, maybe just switching back to the rhythm being a continuous hum and finish dragging your thumb up the screen so that the toy can reach its greatest ability?

Too easy, let’s drag it out a little.

But Todoroki won’t let you, not with how he’s caressing your exposed ankle with his shoe, eyes staring pathetically into yours, mouthing “need to, need to, need to”.

So soon? You’ve barely had your fun. You can’t blame him entirely, either.

That morning, the moment you showed him the vibrator you bought for him to wear, he was already whimpering softly, moaning pleas into your neck between every kiss, all while he pressed his hard on against your thigh.

But you didn’t let him do anything to get rid of it, sending him off to get ready, even if he left whining. (He knows better than to throw a tantrum.)

Maybe he’s still sensitive after making him hump your thigh before the meeting?

Yeah, definitely.

It’s pleasant to remember his whimpers of embarrassment that soon turned into soft moans of gratitude, letting you take control of how fast he goes and how hard, all while listening to you explain the toy as he tries not to cum so soon.

You didn’t let him cum (again) because of his father’s secretary calling him to ask where he even was as the meeting began some minutes ago. Oops.

Even if it ‘ruined’ the mood, he was still so excited, and you’re starting to think you can finally see it begin to also appear on his face.

You didn’t change the rhythm or intensity, so it should’ve been enough for Shouto to get used to it, but he couldn’t. Not while he realized, tensing his thighs helped him feel so much more, and his constant shuffling and accommodation on the chair should’ve alerted you or someone, but who would’ve even thought he was trying to fuck the toy possibly deeper inside of him?

He’s pulling himself closer to the table, bringing a tight fist towards his mouth to feign a cough.

He usually does this so that he is dismissed for a break that he’d take as an open invitation to leave. Not on your watch.

Just as he was going to cough, you finished dragging your thumb to the top part of your cell phone screen and watched as his whole body jolted, and even his knee and elbow hit the table.

The room falls to a complete halt, all conversations interrupted by the young Todoroki… moan? Did the young Todoroki just moan?

He doesn’t even realize what is going on with the way he’s trying so hard to stand up and leave. But his legs are too uncoordinated with how violently the toy is vibrating, mercilessly going crazy against his sensitive prostate that just sends more arousal to his dick. If he looks close enough, he’s pretty sure he’s already beginning to leak through his expensive suit trousers.

His mouth opens in complete shock, but with a familiar hand covering it from behind, he forgets about his surroundings temporarily as he pathetically yet cutely whimpers, wrapping his arms around his stomach.

Not like it hurts, just that he’s pretty close to making a bigger mess in his clothes. He’s not sure how he’ll feel about that, not with the way he just realized he’s still very much in public, very much in a meeting, very much in the same room as his father and soon-to-be subordinates.

That has him closing his eyes quickly, feeling himself becoming cross-eyed at how ridiculing this situation is more for his father than for him, and how you oh-so-accidentally brushed against his nipple to hook your arms under his to get him on his feet.

He’s not even sure what you’re saying at this point, everything being muffled by his heartbeat in his ears and loud buzzing taking over his senses and modesty. Something about him complaining about a stomach ache and how you’ll take him to his office.

The men with gray hairs are talking among themselves about how irresponsible Shouto is with himself, others praising how, even in an ill state, he still attended, Keigo watching the ordeal with an odd look on his face, akin to familiarity of the situation probably, and Enji Todoroki being completely lost but slowly feeling his anger rising by the commotion slowly becoming too loud for his liking and comprehension.

But it’s thanks to this distraction that manages to mute out, miraculously, his mewls of your name as his hips twitch wildly, knees buckling as his orgasm takes over his body in violent, clashing waves. His few hot tears are dripping from his chin as he shamelessly moans softly with every shock of pleasure, still trying his best to stand properly.

He doesn’t even get to finish riding out his high before being dragged out of the meeting room, pretty sure he hears his father’s yells flooding the hallway as you snicker in amusement and rub your thumb on the back of his hand you’re holding. Your other hand occupied itself with turning the toy off, eyes set on the elevator closing in.

“You did great, Shou. I’m so proud of you.”

Your praises always make him keen, but this one makes him moan the loudest today, his shaky hands finding purchase on your hips to press them flush against his. Doesn’t matter the curious wet spot on his crotch, all that matters is that you know how horny he still is.

“P-please? Please, y-y/n. I-I think I ne-need more. St-still hot!”

Now, who are you to deny the man who came in front of his father shamelessly?

#bnha smut #mha smut #todoroki smut #todoroki x reader #sub bnha #✿; impurity #𝖙𝖔𝖉𝖔𝖗𝖔𝖐𝖎.𝖘 #🍦 anon

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echoghost1 · 3 years ago

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Happy 10 years to Teen Wolf (the tv show)!

So my One True Fandom is Danny Phantom but that won't stop me from dabbling in a crossover from time to time.

I thought of this crossover between Danny Phantom and Teen Wolf and when I was doing a bit of research I found out when the anniversary was and I just had to make sure the first chapter was ready by that date, aka today June 5th!

Story Title: Under the Full Moon

Summary: The Nemeton has just been reawakened and Beacon Hills is all the more attractive for the supernatural creatures of the world. Scott and his friends thought they had more than enough on their plate and then Lydia finds a boy in the woods. Something about him seems off, but they aren't sure what it is.

All they know for sure is that his name is Danny Fenton, and he's a long way from home.

Chapter Title: Meet Me In The Woods

Word Count for chapter 1: 1,653

Anywho, you can read it on AO3 or down below the cut!

Lydia sighed as she shut the cupboard door. How they had already run out of dog food for Prada, she had no idea. She could have sworn her mom had just restocked when she had gone shopping last.

With nothing better to do, she decided she may as well pick some up herself. She left a quick note for her mom on the fridge before heading out.

It didn’t take long to get to her destination but when she got out of the car she froze.

This was not the parking lot for the pet store. She was parked on the side of the road surrounded by woods.

“Not again,” she whined as she stalled near her car.

She really didn’t want to find another dead body. She was so tired of finding dead bodies. Since she was alone she allowed herself to let out her frustration by stomping in place, like a toddler throwing a silent tantrum. Then she took a breath to compose herself, dug her phone out of her purse pocket, and held it like a lifeline before heading off into the forest towards whatever it was she was called to find.

She was thankful it was still daylight, even if the sun was starting to set now. The forest wasn’t quite so ominous in the light. The trees broke way into a clearing and she hesitated again.

She bit her lip wondering who she should call. Normally she wouldn’t hesitate to call her friends, but they were having a rough time right now with the whole recently dead sacrifice thing. Then again, she could call the police. Now that Sheriff Stilinski knew about the supernatural he’d realize the importance of finding a body here off all places.

Although, he had just been here too.

She took a few steps closer to the body. If she was going to call this in, she should at least be able to get close enough to give a description. It’s not like this was her first time.

She got as close as she dared, slowly circling the area for any clues while she did her best not to touch anything.

The body appeared to be of a young teen boy, it was hard to tell how old exactly with his youthful face and because of how he was laying, curled up in the fetal position. With how he was positioned perfectly in the center of the large stump it reminded her too much of an offering being made. And considering where they were and what had recently happened here, that wasn’t exactly a good sign. She was glad there wasn’t any blood at least. Actually, now that she was looking, he didn’t appear to be hurt at all. If anything, he looked like he was sleeping.

She stopped moving and just watched him for a moment.

Part of his dark hair that hung in front of his face fluttered momentarily.

She held her breath and listened.

He sighed.

She dropped her phone and covered her mouth to keep herself from screaming. He was alive?! She found someone who was still alive? How? Why? Who was this kid?

She had to wake him up.

“Hey. Hey kid,” she called gently not wanting to startle him too much.

He groaned in his sleep and rolled over, “five more minutes.” he mumbled.

Did he just-? Did he think he was sleeping in his bed at home? How was that even comfortable?

She marched around the stump and carefully made her way around the gnarled roots so she could get in close, “I am not your mom and you seriously should not be sleeping here!”

He mumbled something unintelligible but she ignored him and reached for his arm instead.

“Would you just wake up already?”

The instant she touched him, his eyes shot open and he sat up ramrod straight. His fists went up in a protective fighting pose which made him come across looking more frightened than frightening.

She carefully stood up doing her best to keep her balance and not move too fast and scare him more.

“Hey there, you okay?” she asked cautiously.

He slowly looked around taking in the woods around them, checking himself over for injuries, before finally looking down to see what he was sitting on.

She used his momentary distraction to quickly look for her phone while doing her best to keep him in her sights.

“I think so?”

She slowly walked toward her displaced phone and picked it up.

He froze when he saw her move and she made a show of being non-threatening, “I just dropped my phone when I saw you is all.” She held it up and wiggled it in her hand, and smiled when he relaxed.

“Where are we?” he asked looking around the open area with nothing but confusion on his face.

“The woods just outside Beacon Hills,” she said matter of factly. “Did you need a ride home? I’m Lydia by the way.”

“Hi, Lydia. I’m Danny.” He was quiet for a moment, taking his time with something before he spoke again, “I’m probably going to sound really dumb right now, but,” he reached up and rubbed the back of his neck as he gave her a nervous smile, “Where exactly is Beacon Hills? Like State-wise?”

She blinked at him a couple of times. That certainly was an odd question. “California.”

He blanched, “California?!”

“Not from around here then?”

“No!” He pulled his knees up to his chest and threaded his fingers into his unruly dark hair, “I can’t be in California! I can’t!”

“Hey, it’s okay,” she tried to console but that only made him panic more.

“It’s not okay!” he pulled his hands free and he looked about one second away from bursting into tears, “I don’t know how I got here!”

Well, that wasn’t good.

Nothing about this situation was good or made any sense at all. But they weren’t going to figure anything out if they just stayed here. “My car is just back there,” she pointed in the general direction of the road, “why don’t we get out of these woods and we can figure this out and get you on the way home?”

He was still breathing too hard but he did seem receptive to the idea at least, “yeah I guess hanging out in the woods at night isn’t the best idea.”

“It really isn’t.”

He started to scoot off of the stump but paused, “Is it really that dangerous out here?” His eyebrows rose as he realized something, “Oh wait! California is the state with the bear flag, right? Are there really bears here?” he asked in alarm but then dropped his voice to more of a whisper and added, “I thought it was a metaphor.”

Lydia sighed, “I’m not worried about bears, Danny.”

“Oh.” his shoulders slumped and he picked at the hem of his faded NASA t-shirt, “so what are you worried about?”

She wanted to say, the copious amounts of were-people, but instead settled on, “I just don’t want to be out here at night.”

“Are you afraid of the dark?”

“What? No!”

“Because it’s cool if you are! I won’t make fun of you for it!”

“I’m not afraid of the dark, Danny,” she restated firmly.

“Okay, okay. Sorry. Forget I said anything.” He held his hands up in surrender.

“Are you afraid of the dark?” that might explain why he was so adamant about it?

“What?” he waved her off with a smirk, “No, that’d be silly.”

She put her hand on her hip and stared at him, “it’s okay if I’m afraid of the dark but not you?” if this was a gender thing she would kick his scrawny little ass.

He immediately figured out her line of thinking and back-peddled so hard, “Oh no! I didn’t mean it like that! I just- I uh,” he stammered for a bit before he was able to find the words again, “I just forgot you didn’t know me that well.”

“You forgot we just met?”

“I just mean that,” he stopped mid-sentence to think, “How do I explain this?” he asked himself, “Oh! Okay, so I didn’t mean it like ‘I’m a big strong guy and you’re a weak silly woman’. That would be awful and super incorrect. You could probably kick my butt into next week without even trying!”

Lydia smirked in approval.

“I just meant that it was silly to think that me, personally, being afraid of the dark was ridiculous. You see, I want to be an astronaut and space is like mostly darkness so it’d just be weird if I wanted to go to a place that was made up of something I was afraid of. It’d be like a fashion designer that was afraid of fabric.”

She laughed, “alright, apology accepted. Let’s go.”

He smiled back and used the edge of the stump to steady himself as he found his footing among the roots. “Man, this must have been a huge tree,” he said with his hands still holding on to the edge of the ancient oak.

Lydia stayed quiet and wondered if he was going to say anything else but instead he just pushed off the tree to stand up fully. He spun around to face her with a smile before it quickly vanished.

He swayed ever so slightly and held his hand up to his head, “I think I spun around too fast.” he took a couple of poorly coordinated steps towards her before he tripped over his own feet and landed hard on the dirt below.

She was on her knees next to him in an instant, “whoa, are you okay?”

“I don’t think I’m going to make it to the car,” he admitted as his words started to slur.

“Why not?”

“‘cause I’m gonna pass out,” he said before doing just that.

#teen wolf #Danny Phantom #crossover #fan fic #phan fic #the story is set in season 3b because it's my favorite!!!#Lydia Martin #Danny Fenton

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wiypt-writes · 4 years ago

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Stark Spangled Forever

One Shot: She Is Worthy.

Summary: The time has come for Katie to be admitted for the birth of the 5th Little Rogers. It’s the biggest mission that the pair of them have faced before, but their friends and family come through.

Warnings: Bad Language words. Descriptions of a few things to do with childbirth that may trigger a few people…

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

A/N: So here she is…introducing Florence- Flossie- Rogers.

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Katie Stark and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Stark Spangled Forever Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Steve stood in the doorway of their room, watching as Katie packed everything into the small suitcase. He let out a soft sigh and she turned to look at him.

“Honey, that’s the fifth time you’ve unpacked and repacked that.” He said gently, crossing the room.

“I know I just want to be sure I have everything.” She shrugged, her eyes flicking back to romper in her hands. “We’re gonna be in there for a long time and-“ “I know, sweetheart.” He nodded gently, taking her face in his hands. “But we checked everything off the list. And if there’s something missing then I can always fetch it. It’s not a problem.”

He took the baby grow she was currently holding out of her hands, folded it and placed it in the bag before he shut the lid, zipped it up and then turned to face her as she melted into his arms.

“I’m so scared, Steve.” Her voice was trembling as he simply stood there, his arms holding her as close as her bump would allow, his face pressing into her hair.

“I know but I’ll be with you the whole time.” He assured her. “And if there’s anyone that can get through this it’s you.” They stayed still, Katie taking deep breaths and letting his soft touch and smell calm her. Eventually she pulled back and looked up at him.

“Love you.” “Love you too.” He smiled, dropping a kiss to her lips “Now, without spoiling the surprise Bucky, Sam, Pepper and the kids are waiting in the lounge.”

Katie smiled, “yeah, I heard the door before. Plus Rori was whispering very loudly to Emmy at breakfast about some secret plans which included Moo.”

Steve chuckled. “She can’t keep anything quiet.” “Well, at least she’s not throwing tantrums about Flossie anymore.” Katie shrugged, her hands resting on Steve’s chest over his blue plaid button down. “Small mercies.” Steve gave a little chuckle. “True. I’ll go down and tell them you’re coming then you can walk in and look surprised, okay?”

“Sounds like a plan…and you’d know, because-“ “Doll, just don’t…” He cut her off before she could launch into that infernal song and she giggled, her smile lighting up her pretty face, and it warmed his heart to see her worry melt away, even if he knew it was only temporary. He softly kissed her forehead before he left the room.

Katie glanced at the now closed suitcase and took a deep breath. She knew she had everything she needed, if truth be told she’d been re-packing because she didn’t have anything else she could do. This entire situation felt like it was out of her control, and that was what was worrying her. Not to mention the operation itself, the recovery, the apparent menopausal symptoms she was going to feel…but the worst bit, the bit she was absolutely terrified off was the fact they were going to have to numb her from the waist down.

But, Steve would be there. That she knew. And there was nothing else to be done about the situation, there was simply no other way their baby girl could be delivered without Katie’s life being left hanging in the balance, which both of them knew was just not an option. Steve because, well frankly the thought of being without her made him physically sick, and Katie couldn’t bear the thought of leaving him behind with her kids.

Wiping her eyes, she checked her mascara hadn’t run, fluffed her long hair out slightly which had been done that morning- one final pamper session before she was once more reduced to merely making sure there was no baby puke in it- and she headed out onto the landing and down the stairs. Taking a deep breath she fixed a smile on her face and walked into the lounge, and at the sight of her four kids, husband, best friends, sister-in-law and niece the smile became a genuine one as she was greeted with hugs and kisses.

“How you feeling?” Bucky whispered, his lips pressing to her temple in a friendly show of affection.

“Petrified.” She replied simply and he responded by gripping her a little tighter, his hand rubbing softly at her back

“You got this, Doll face. You always do.”

Katie gave him a smile as she stepped back and turned to Steve who was watching her, Harry perched on his hips. He gave her a wink as she walked towards them, smiling at Harry who stretched his arms out towards her.

“Hug momma!” He grinned and she smiled, allowing him to settle his arms around her neck, kissing his check, whilst Steve kept him safely gripped in his arms.

“So,” Pepper cleared her throat, “we know that you probably wanted a quiet evening with the fact you have a fairly busy day tomorrow…” at that Katie chuckled as Pepper picked a paper gift bag up from the coffee table, “but we just wanted to stop by and give you a little something that hopefully comes in handy whilst your recovering.”

Katie stepped forward and gently reached into the paper gift bag. Led on the top were some beautiful L’OCCITAINE toiletries, all in miniature sizes for her to take with her.

“They’re from me!” Morgan beamed from where she was sat next to Jamie on the couch, the pair of them looking at something on a tablet. Katie smiled and then returned to the bag, her hands brushing on the soft towelling of a robe as she pulled it free. It was a deep blue with gold detailing, just like her old Supernova suit and on the front over the left hand side her star had been embroidered. She took a deep shuddering breath and looked at Pepper, her eyes filling with tears.

“Just for those moments when you’re in there and need reminding of the Superhero you are.” Pepper said gently as Katie stepped towards her, the two women embracing.

“I wish he was here.” Katie whispered, who he was needed no explanation, and Pepper gave her a harder squeeze before she pulled back.

“He’d be so proud of you, you know.” Pepper whispered to her gently as Katie reached up to wipe the tears which had slid down her face.

“Momma’s upset Daddy.” Harry looked at Steve who pressed a kiss to the boy’s head, his own emotions threatening to bubble over.

“Don’t worry about it, buddy.” Steve assured him, smiling at the tot. “Momma’s just a little tired and the baby’s making her feel things, that’s all.”

“Are you okay Auntie Kiddo?” Morgan spoke and Katie turned to look at her, smiling as Tony’s eyes looked back at her form her Niece’s face.

“I am now.” She smiled, crossing the room and bending to give her niece a huge hug. “Thank you for the gift sweetie, it’s going to come in real useful.”

She rest a hand on her bump, her other hand going to her back and Steve, spotting the signs well enough, gently handed Harry over to Bucky and moved to help her sit down on the other sofa.

“You good?” His hand gently cupped her face and she nodded, smiling as he dropped a kiss to her cheek.

Emmy, who had been in the kitchen with Rori walked into the room and the pair of them dropped some snacks onto the table. The adults and kids alike descended like a swarm and Jamie took the opportunity to head over to his mom, handing her a box wrapped in gold paper upon which paw prints had been drawn.

She frowned at him and he shrugged at her.

“It’s from Stark.”

Katie glanced at Steve who was stood next to Bucky, watching Jamie. He gave his eldest son a wink as Katie tore of the paper and gave a little chuckle at the new Kindle.

“He says he’s sorry for chewing your other one.” Jamie popped his shoulder as the dog in question lay in the middle of the floor on his side, tail swishing.

“I’m sure he is.” Katie smiled. “Thanks Stark.”

He looked up and thumped his tails harder against the carpet.

“I already set it up and logged your profile in. Emmy looked at her. “Dad was gonna try but I stopped him before he screwed it up like the laptop.”

Steve rolled his eyes and Katie chuckled..

“Thanks guys! You know you really didn’t have to. I wasn’t expecting any of this, at all, from any of you.”

“Hey, you aint seen our gift yet.” Sam smirked and Bucky snorted.

Steve looked at them “What did you get?” Bucky ignored him and Sam passed Katie a small gift bag. She pulled out a box and opened it, frowning at the plain white mug.

“Erm…” “Yeah, you need hot water.” Sam nodded and Emmy took the mug from her mother and headed back into the kitchen.

“It changes.” Bucky said simply, and at that point they heard Emmy’s loud laugh ringing down the hallway. She returned carrying the mug, grinning ear to ear as she handed it to Katie. Katie stared at it for a second before he started to laugh as she saw the picture that had appeared with the heat. It was a selfie of Bucky and Sam, in what looked like Central Park, but the pair of them were pulling ridiculous faces. Bucky was cross eyed, Sam had his tongue stuck out and nose scrunched up with his eyes closed, the pair of them were holding up their fingers behind the other one’s head in the peace sign. Along the bottom the words “Don’t you wish your husband was hot like us…and this drink?” glared out at her and she shook her head, her laughter showing no signs of stopping.

“I can’t,” she wiped the tears of mirth from her face as Steve took the mug from her and shook his head, looking at his friends.

“You said stuff she could use, Stevie.” Bucky shrugged.

“Yeah, use in the hospital!” Steve stared at the pair of them.

“And I can!” Katie looked at him. “Be nice to have my own special mugs for drinks.”

“Yeah, see?” Sam nodded “Practical and personal.”

“I love it.” Katie grinned “Thank you.”

Rori, who had been watching all this, walked to her dad and tugged gently at his jeans. He stooped to pick her up and she whispered into his ear. “Is it time for our present now Daddy?”

“Not yet.” He said, looking at Katie who was now talking to Pepper about something, looking far more relaxed than Steve had seen her in days.

“Why not?”

Steve looked at his daughter and took a deep breath. He knew what the kids had made for her was going to set her off again, hell, it had set him off when he had seen it so he knew full well she would appreciate it much more if it was just them around.

“Because I think it’s so special that Momma’s going to need time to look at it properly.”

Rori nodded, accepting his explanation and kissed her dad’s cheek, laying her head in the crook of his shoulder.

Everyone stayed for pizza which Emmy had made, from scratch Katie was impressed to find, having followed her recipe for the dough. The kids rolled a small one out each, decorating with their own toppings whilst Emmy loaded the larger ones for the adults with the standard Rogers favourites, with extra jalapenos for Bucky. Once everyone was stuffed to the brim it was time to say goodbye. Bucky arranged to come back in the morning to be on hand to help Emmy with the other three kids as Steve had a sneaky suspicion that wasn’t going to go as smoothly as they hoped, Rori already making noises about wanting to go with them. He’d told her she couldn’t several times but she’d simply shot him that ‘whatever’ look, thinking she’d get round him as she usually did. At least with Bucky around to help keep their little Diva entertained, Emmy could concentrate on Harry a little more. Jamie, well, he was old enough now to understand and had already promised Steve he would be good for his eldest sister, puffing his chest out slightly as Steve had told him he needed to assume the ‘man of the house role’ whilst he was gone.

The house felt a little empty when everyone had left. Katie sat still for a moment, taking in the quiet before she announced she was going to head upstairs and put her gifts in her bag, but Steve stopped her.

“There’s one more you’ll need to pack too.” He looked at her, and at that Jamie grinned at Rori who immediately skipped off out of the room before she returned holding something behind her back.

“We didn’t know what to get you.” Emmy started to explain as Rori held out the thin book to her mom.

“So we made you something.” Jamie added.

“Daddy helped.” Rori nodded as Katie took the book from her, looking down at the black leather cover upon which the words, ‘Momma’s Memory Book’ were written in beautiful gold stencilling.

Katie ran her hands over the lettering and looked up at her children, beaming before she opened the cover. On the first page, there was a message which had been drawn, the large lettering shaded in various different colours.

‘The best thing about memories is making them, and between us we’ve made a lot.’

Katie smiled and turned the page, her smile growing even wider as the first thing she was greeted with was a picture of her and Steve taken years and years ago, before they even got together, on a night out with the SHIELD team. The pair of them were both looking at each other, Katie’s nose wrinkled in a laugh and Steve’s face sported his trademark, lopsided grin. She looked up at her husband who smiled at her as she continued to look through the book.

The entire thing was littered with photos. From her SHIELD days, through to the Avengers days, photos of her and Natasha, the whole team, one of her and Tony both laughing hysterically in the office, and even some press action shots of her swirling through the air over Sokovia, flying in tandem with Tony.

“Where did you get all these?” She looked up and Steve hesitated for a second before he shrugged.

“Pepper had a lot on the Stark Industries archive and Queens may or may not have helped us acquire some too.”

“His name is Pete.” Emmy narrowed her eyes before she tuned to Katie and grinned. “He cracked the old SHIELD main frame,” she informed her mom, and Katie laughed, “with a bit of help from EDITH.” Katie continued through the pages and eventually she turned to one, which contained a photo of her, Steve and Emmy way back at the first Stark Christmas Party Steve had met Emmy. They were both in their Avengers suits, Emmy stood in front of them, giving a huge toothy grin. Underneath it was a photo of the three of them taken at Emmy’s graduation. Across the page opposite Emmy had written a message – ‘Family isn’t always blood. It’s the people in your life who want you in theirs; the ones who accept you for who you are. The ones that would do anything to see you smile and love you no matter what. Love you Momma x’

“Oh, Em.” Katie looked up at her, her eyes filling with tears. Emmy smiled and sat down next to Rori.

“Keep going!” Rori demanded. “My pages are the best.” “Shut up, Rori.” Jamie rolled his eys.

“Yeah, shuddup Rowi.” Harry glared at her and Steve arched his eyebrow.

“How about the lot of you shut up.” He spoke, and all the kids turned to him, narrowing their eyes.

Katie turned to the next two pages, which were Jamie’s and contained the photo that Katie adored, the one of him asleep on his dad’s chest when he was merely hours old, and a more up to date photo of him and her in the garden which had been taken on his birthday the year before. He hadn’t written a message, instead his artistic nature had taken over and he’d drawn a number of little sketches. A baseball, Stark’s head, one of his game console controller and an ice cream cone. All little things that were personal to him.

The next two were Rori’s and her baby photo was one of her, Steve and Katie taken the morning after she had been born in their bedroom. Both of them were looking down at her, Steve’s hand gently curled under Katie’s as she held her. The more up to date photo was one of her all her Diva glory as she stood, one hand on her hip, the other flicking her hair out whilst she pouted at the camera. Katie gave a snort at the photo, and then her eyes turned to the page opposite which was basically a collection of cuttings from magazines of all sorts of princess type stuff, and the entire lot was decorated in a fuck tonne of pink and gold glitter which now covered Katie’s hands.

Katie smiled and then turned to Harry’s page. Another baby photo, this time of him clutched to Katie’s chest in the hospital as she kissed his head. His more up to date one had been taken a week or so ago in the garden, wrapped up so much only his eyes were peeking out. Katie had laughed at the time, as his hat kept slipping down over his eyes. The page opposite was a hand print, which had been once more decorated with glitter.

“I helped.” Rori nodded firmly.

The next page contained a photo of Lucky led under his tree, then opposite was Stark sat in the same spot.

And when she turned to the next pages she took a deep breath. They were blank, except for the same writing that was across all the other pages spelling out the kids names, except this one spelt ‘Flossie’.

“It’s so we can add her in.” Jamie nodded and Katie swallowed, the lump in her throat thick as she smiled and turned to the last pages.

On one side was the photo of her and Steve taken at the New Years Eve Gala, their first formal event together, and a photo she could herself probably draw from memory. On the next was one of the pair of them taken at Rori’s birthday party the year before. It had been taken in the evening and Katie was perched on Steve’s knee, both of them flush from alcohol but the same love struck expression that was present in the first was just as evident on Steve’s face as Katie’s wore the exact same happy grin. Underneath Steve had written her a little message ‘Fate whispered to the Warrior ‘You can’t fight the storm’ and the warrior whispered back ‘Oh, but I am the storm’. Love you until the end of the line, Doll. Yours always, Steve xx’

“Guys,” Katie’s voice croaked and she looked up, tears clouding her vision, “this is amazing. I love it.”

“You can look at it when you’re away from us and we’ll be there, isn’t that right Daddy?” Rori asked, looking up at Steve who was choking back his own emotions.

“Sure is.” He nodded.

“Thank you.” Katie said, her voice cracking and all of their kids moved to give her a hug, Harry scrambling onto her knee, his hands tangling into her hair. “I love you all so much.” ***** After a pretty restless night, they were up and out of the house after Katie wished a teary goodbye to everyone. Rori had started to kick up a fuss but Bucky had quickly distracted her with the promise of a trip to the Waffle House and it was Harry that ended up having the meltdown, the fact that his momma was leaving him suddenly registered in his brain. Steve could see Katie was starting to get upset so he took charge and simply ushered her out of the house, Harry’s cries dying down as the door shut behind them. As they drove to the hospital, Katie remained quiet all the way, her hand simply wrapped around his where it lay resting on the central arm rest and he noticed her breathing growing a little more erratic as he pulled off the main road and down the small lane that led to the car lot. He raised his hand and pressed a kiss to her wrist.

This wasn’t the hospital she’d had Jamie or Harry at, this was a different one that Dr Kellet had suggested she might find more comfortable given how long she was going to be there. Katie had said to Steve that she doubted she would feel comfortable anywhere, but when they were shown to the room which Katie was going to call home for the next week or so, she was pleasantly surprised to find that it was more like a hotel room than a hospital suite. It was decorated in soothing neutral colours, the bed was a queen size, which Steve was thankful for as it meant not only could he snuggle up to her, but sleeping on those chairs or camp beds really did his neck in. There was a bathroom with a tub, a wardrobe with a set of drawers in, a small sitting area with a small kitchenette area where she could heat up food and make herself a drink, a two seater couch and a table and a TV on the wall.

The Midwife left them to get settled in and Steve helped her unpack, the pair of them smiling at the various baby grows they’d bought, one of which had been supplied by Bucky and Sam which sported the words ‘You think my dad’s bad, you should meet my uncles.’

Katie set her little memory book on the night stand and then frowned.

“You okay?” Steve asked as he spotted her face.

“Yeah, it’s just, when you go home, can you bring me the photo from my nightstand, you know the photo of all of us at Peppers from the summer?”

Steve arched an eyebrow and then reached into the suitcase and handed it to her. “I popped it in this morning.”

She smiled softly, his ever thoughtful nature always made her feel warm, and she leaned up to kiss him. “My hero.”

It wasn’t long before there was a knock at the door and Dr Kellet arrived, flanked with a midwife and a kindly looking, white haired man who she introduced as the Anaesthetist. Despite the fact Katie knew what was going to happen off by heart, they went through it all again, and then it was time for her to get ready.

In a trance Katie changed, and before she knew it, it was time to start. She was led down to the theatre room and directed onto the bed. Once the IV was inserted she was instructed to lay on her side ready for the epidural. Steve helped her shift over, un-surprised to find that she was already trembling. He took her hand and leaned forward in his seat and she looked at him, her green eyes wide with fear and tears. He gently ran his other hand over her hair as he pressed his forehead to hers.

“Okay, Mrs Rogers, this shouldn’t take long at all.” the Anaesthetist spoke calmly to her, but Katie didn’t respond other than to reach for Steve’s hand. Her fingers laced through his and he raised them slightly, pressing a soft kiss to her finger, just above the place where her rings sat.

“You look ridiculous in that.” She said quietly, her eyes roving Steve’s hospital gown and he gave a smile.

“As ridiculous as the first Cap suit you saw me in?”

“I liked that suit.” She muttered, as she flinched a little as the anaesthetists hand touched her bare skin through the back of her gown.

“As much as the Stealth one?” Steve asked, but other than giving him a smile she didn’t reply as she was busy trying to blank out the fact that she could feel a sharp scratch where the needle had pierced her skin. But her attempts to focus on where she was were not working. For a horrible moment she was back in that painfully bright HYDRA cell, as three men pinned her to the floor, her body already violated and battered, whilst they stuck whatever fucking shitty chemical it was into her spine leaving her paralysed from the waist down for hours, laughing as she was forced to drag herself over the floor.

Steve instantly spotted that she was gone from the way her eyes were scrunched shut, her breathing deep. She was absolutely petrified. Swallowing slightly he did the only thing he could think to.

“Eyes on me.” He spoke, his voice stern and she opened them to see him looking at her. “I got you.” he promised, his eyes locked onto hers, his thumb gently arching over her knuckles. “Always.”

“Okay, all done.” The Anaesthetist announced and Katie let out a shaky sob.

“Well done Mrs Rogers.” Dr Kellet spoke softly and Steve smiled, brushing Katie’s face with his hand.

“You did it, baby.” He smiled softly “Hardest part is over.”

Whilst that seemed such a ridiculous notion, considering she had yet to go through the actual operation, Steve, and everyone in the room for that matter, thanks to Dr Kellet’s coaching, knew that the through of a needle in her spine rendering her numb from the waist down was the biggest issue here. And Steve was grateful for the gentle nature they’d all conducted the procedure with.

“Okay, you ready to lay back?” Dr Kellet asked and Katie nodded. Steve stood up, taking over, helping her get as comfortable as she could.

Then, Dr Kellet, looked around the room and started barking orders to the various staff in the room, all of whom were scrubbed up. A heart and blood pressure monitor were attached to Katie, along with sensors to monitor Flossie, and then Steve watched as two nurses began to wheel the screens into place which would block Katie’s lower body from her and his view and then he turned back to his wife.

“Wonder if Rori has managed to paint Bucky’s toenails yet.”

Katie snorted “She’ll probably be sticking fridge magnets to his arm.”

“He loves it.” Steve smiled.

“He loves her.” Katie corrected him. “He loves all of them.”

“And this one is gonna be no exception.” Steve smiled. “You know, I hope she looks like you too.”

“We’ll find out soon enough.” Katie said.

Soon enough turned out to be fifty-five minutes later.

“And here she is.” Dr Kellet moved, gently rounding the screens and placing Florence onto Katie’s chest. Katie gave a little gasp as she held her daughter for the first time, her tiny face screwed up as she cried, all pink and soft. Her noises died down somewhat as she pressed against her mother’s chest and Steve glanced down at her, sniffing slightly as he pressed a kiss to Katie’s forehead.

“She’s perfect.” Katie breathed, her eyes watering, “Hi Flossie.” She studied her daughter for a moment, trying to get a lock on her features, but she was slightly different to what any of the others had looked like. Jamie had been recognisable as Steve instantly, Rori as her, and there’d been features of them both they’d spotted in Harry but here, well, she looked like Steve in some ways, she had the same eye shape and nose, but then in others she didn’t particularly look like either of them. It was strange. She turned to look at Steve to mention it to him and then frowned a little as the tears were pouring down his face.

“Soldier?” she frowned, “What’s…” He wiped his eyes and took a deep breath, reaching out with a large hand to softly smooth over his baby daughter’s head. “She er,” he swallowed and then looked at Katie, smiling through his tears “she looks like my Ma.”

Katie’s own eyes misted over as she looked down at her baby, then back to her husband who was sat perched on the bed besides her. One of the midwives came over to take Flossie for the routine scores and clean up, before she was then brought back, and handed to Steve, wrapped in a soft pink blanket. He held her gently in his strong arms, staring down at the face that was sparking a million and one memories, before he placed a shaky kiss to her head.

“I’ve just had an idea for a middle name.” He looked at Katie who glanced up at him. That was still something up that point they hadn’t come to an agreement on. “What do you think about Saoirse?”

Katie smiled. “That’s unusual. I like it.” “It’s Irish.” He looked at her, then down to Flossie who lay still in his arms apart from the odd wrinkle of her nose and opening of her mouth. “It means Freedom.” “I love it.” Katie beamed “It’s perfect. What made you think of that.” “It was my Ma’s middle name.” Steve whispered, his eyes once more on Flossie.

“Wait, your Ma’s initials were SSR?” Katie looked at Steve who glanced at her for a moment as her words sunk in at which point he let out a loud chuckle.

“Yeah, so they were.” He grinned “Huh, how ‘bout that?”

******

Of course, giving birth is only one part of the journey as they both knew only too well, but whilst a C-section delivery left Katie feeling slightly less drained than the other three it brought with it a whole heap of other issues, the biggest being that as Flossie had been delivered five weeks earlier and by section, Katie’s milk hadn’t come in. Whilst, again, during the run up to the birth they had been warned that this could take a few days, what Katie hadn’t been prepared for was the utter helplessness she felt when she had tried and failed. Coupled with the fact that Flossie was finding it hard to feed due to her airway and throat being full of mucus, a very common issue with C-section babies, Katie was getting herself more and more worked up, the ever patient midwife simply remained on hand attempting to calm her down and assure her everything was perfectly normal and that being formula fed plus plenty of skin to skin contact would be perfectly fine.

Eventually they managed to get Florence comfortable and she took her first feed from the bottle, her cheeks working hungrily as Katie held her, Steve led on the bed, his arm curled round Katie’s shoulders.

“I’m so proud of you.” He whispered, kissing her head, his voice slightly choked. “So fuckin’ proud sweetheart.”

The second issue that Katie was struggling with was that because she had undergone major surgery, it was advised that there were no visitors until the following day. Again, this had been explained to them both prior to her admission, but once more Katie hadn’t realised how bad that would make her feel. She missed her other kids terribly and started to get a little bit emotional when she thought about them at home without either of them. But the wonders of modern technology allowed the pair of them to video call back home and introduce Flossie to the clan, Rori providing some well needed comic relief.

“I thought she would look like me?” She said rather indignantly as she was shown Flossie on the camera. “She’s all pink and wrinkly and….”

“Well, so were you.” Steve smiled at her “But besides, I told you, you’re one of a kind, Princess.”

Rori’s green eyes blinked at her father and she shrugged. “Well, dur…I know that, but she’s a girl. She’s supposed to look like me and momma.” “She actually looks like your daddy’s momma.” Katie smiled. “Your nanna Sarah.” Rori paused, and then shook her head. “How can she look like an old woman? She’s a baby.” At that Steve let out a loud bark of a laugh as Katie chuckled slightly, trying not to laugh too much as, well frankly it fucking hurt.

“Oh Rori.” Steve chuckled, shaking his head. “Don’t ever change.”

She looked back at him on the screen and shrugged “Whatever, here Emmy you can have the phone.”

And with that she was gone.

Steve stayed with Katie that night, helping her with the night shift as she was struggling to move around as freely as she should due to the operation, but the pair of them managed. Steve didn’t say anything to Katie, but the fact he could feed Flossie during the first night was kind of nice for him and it also allowed Katie to sleep and recover as best she could.

As day broke, the Soldier found himself stood in his sweat pants and T-shirt, simply looking out of the window over the garden area of the hospital as the first rays of light streamed onto the frosty grass outside, nursing his baby daughter.

“Steve?” Katie’s voice was thick with sleep and he turned to look at her as she gave him a tired smile. “Is she ok?” “She’s fine sweetheart.” He smiled, crossing back over the room. “Do you want her?”

Katie nodded as she shuffled up, wincing a little, and once she was comfortable, Steve handed Florence over so Katie could finish off the feed.

The midwife was in a little later and told Katie that she could shower before they checked her wound and then that she should take a little walk around the ward, with Steve’s help, to encourage the blood flow to her legs.

“You might need some help showering, too.” She said, looking at Katie who shook her head.

“Managed fine the other times.” “Yeah, but last time you hadn’t had an operation.” Steve looked at her. “Don’t be stubborn.” “Pot kettle.” She mumbled, “I can manage perfectly fine.”

Steve sighed and looked at the Midwife who opened her mouth and Katie shot her a glare.

“Don’t.” She said sternly. “I’m fine. Yes, I know the heat can make my blood pressure drop, I’ve done this three other times, damned it.” Steve let out a growl of frustration as Katie began to shift and he stepped forward to help her. “They’re just doing their job.” “Yeah, well, I want a shower.”

Steve helped her out of bed and she took a few shaky steps towards the bathroom, Steve picking up her toiletry bag in one hand. He took her into the bathroom and she looked at him and he held his hands up.

“Fine, but I’m gonna be right outside.” “Whatever.” Katie grumbled, shutting the door in his face.

Steve looked at the midwife and gave her an apologetic look.

“It’s perfectly normal.” The woman waved him away. “Her moods will be up and down for a while Mr Rogers, especially following the hysterectomy. The main thing is you keep an eye on her.” Steve nodded and headed back to the small living area of the room, flipping on the kettle, his eyes flicking to Flossie as she slept in the basinet. It was about two minutes later when he heard a heavy thud from the bathroom. With a slight panic he moved quickly across the room, opened the door and pulled the shower curtain back so fast he tore half off the rings. Katie was sat down, and she looked at him, tears in her eyes. He leaned over, brushing her wet hair out of her eyes and she pressed her forehead against his chest, neither one caring that he was getting soaked.

“Don’t say a word.” Katie shook her head, sniffing “Not one word.” “I wouldn’t dream of it.” Steve said honestly, this was most certainly not an I told you so moment.

“Is she okay?” the midwife asked from the door.

Katie looked up at him, pleading with him, tears of frustration in her eyes and he pulled the trailing shower curtain round her a little more.

“She’s fine,” he said, blocking her from view, “just dropped the shampoo and can’t bend for it.”

There was a pause before the nurse spoke again. “I’ll be in the office if you need anything.”

Steve watched her go before he turned to Katie, weighing up his options. Decision made, he stepped into the shower fully, crouching down. Katie curled her fingers into his sopping shirt, sniffing slightly as he helped her to her feet.

“Hey,” he said, smoothing her hair back. “Doll, i’s ok.”

“You can say I told you so now.” Katie grumbled into his shoulder, blinking back tears of frustration.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He shook his head, gently washing the remnants of the soap off her body and from her hair before she handed him the conditioner.

“I feel so stupid. Can’t even manage a shower.” She sniffed as he gently massaged it into her hair

“Honey, you had a huge operation yesterday.” Steve pressed an affectionate kiss to the top of her head as the water drummed down on them both. “You need to give yourself time.” Once they were done, Steve made sure Katie was wrapped in her robe before he stripped out of his soaking clothes and wrapped a towel around his waist. He hovered as Katie made it slowly across the room and once he was happy she was settled on the bed he grabbed himself a change of clothes and dressed before taking his seat in the chair next to the bed.

****

It was later that afternoon when the first visitors arrived, both Steve and Katie beaming as their kids walked into the room with Bucky. As they all shrugged off their jackets and various outer layers, Bucky turned to take Rori’s from her and Steve let out a snort as he spotted something on the back of Bucky’s arm. It was a yellow and black fridge magnet that sported the words ‘Wakanda Forever’ and had once been part of the traditional Christmas ale and liquor package T’Challa sent him each year.

Bucky spun to look at him and Steve handed him the magnet, smirking as Bucky shook his head, groaning.

“That’s nothing.” His eyes flicking to Rori who was perched on the bed, peering down at Flossie “I don’t know how you cope with her, Steve, she’s a fucking nightmare. Last night she made me sit through Mary Poppins whilst she sang and danced to it in front of the TV, because, apparently, she is much better than the actual actors.” Steve snorted and clapped his hand on Bucky’s shoulder.

“I tell you,” Bucky continued, “give me a base full of HYDRA operatives to take down over that Diva any day.”

Once Flossie had been cuddled and held by everyone in the room and they’d had a spot of lunch which turned up later with Jen, the kids and Bucky headed off, Harry almost having another meltdown until Steve, spotting it, crouched down in front of his youngest son and told him to be a brave boy and that he could see his momma the very next day after Day Care. Accepting this, he wiped his tears and gave his parents both a hug. And then it was Rori’s turn, tearfully asking her dad when he would be home.

“Tonight.” Katie spoke gently “Daddy will be home with you all tonight and then you can come visit tomorrow okay?” And that’s how it went. It was strange for Steve, as for the first time his baby and wife weren’t home the day after they’d been born but that simply wasn’t possible. Katie was recovering well, and the doctors had said that she should be able to head home within the week as predicted originally, but still it felt strange. That said, the Rogers house fell into a simple and easy routine. Steve and Emmy would usher them all out of bed, get them breakfast, then deposit them at either school or Day Care before Emmy would head to work and Steve would come to the hospital. Then, he’d collect the kids, bring them to see Katie for a few hours, before he took them home.

It was hard, as he wanted to be with Katie all the time, but he knew he had the others to look after too so they managed the best they could.

It didn’t escape him however, how down Katie was. She had a steady stream of visitors with Pepper and Morgan, Jen, Happy and Rhodey all popping in to meet Flossie but he could just see it in her face, she was fed up. By the fifth day she tearfully told him she was bored. So they wrapped up and went for a small walk outside, Flossie bundled in a huge, warm baby snug and clutched to Steve’s chest in the baby sling, as they slowly wandered the grounds.

It wasn’t the days she struggled with though, it was the nights when Steve left. Katie knew if she asked him to stay he would come back once he had sorted the kids out but she didn’t want the others to miss out. So instead she simply kept reminding herself that it wasn’t for much longer, a few more days and she would be free to be at home with them all.

On the Thursday evening, however, at around eight pm, not long after Steve had headed home, there was a little knock on her door and Bucky poked his head into the room. Katie smiled as she looked up from where she had been sat on the sofa reading.

“What are you doing here?”

He held up a bag which Katie recognised instantly as being from Jen’s Coffee Shop. “Jen said before you seemed a little down and you may benefit from some kind of chocolate fix. So, here I am. Winter Soldier turned Delivery Boy.”

He handed her the bag and sat down opposite her as Katie peeked inside and groaned as she saw the six large, gooey brownies looking at her.

“She was gonna come up herself but her dad’s not so good.” He said and Katie smiled.

“She was here most of the afternoon.” She shook her head “I’ll message her later, tell her thanks.” “How you doing?” Bucky asked, and when she looked at him, he smiled “And tell me honestly, I’m not Steve. You don’t gotta hide it from me.” She looked at him, her eyes brimming with tears. “I hate it Buck, I just wanna be home.” With a sigh he stood up and moved so he was sat next to her, curling his arm round her as she leaned into him. She began to cry and Bucky gently soothed her as she let all of the emotions she had been feeling over the last few days, but trying to hide, out in a torrent of tears and sobs.

“Not long now, Doll Face.” He soothed. “Steve said before you should be home Sunday at the latest.” “I know it’s just,” she sat up and wiped her eyes, “even when I go home I’ve got weeks of recovery ahead and…” “And you’ll be fine.” Bucky looked at her. “You just gotta take it easy for a while, and I know that’s easier said than done with the kids but you got a lot of support. You know that, right?” “I know.” She smiled, before she sighed. “Don’t tell Steve about this, please? He’d insist on staying and I don’t want the kids to be without him, they need him as much as I do.” “Promise.” He smiled, before he looked at the bag on the table. “Now, how about I put the kettle on and we dig into those?” Katie smiled, before she grinned “My mug is over there.” “Excellent.” Bucky stood up, moving to grab it, before he smirked and looked at her cheekily. “I finally, after all these years, get to see what you look like with your mouth wrapped around me.” “James Buchanan Barnes!” Katie gasped, shaking her head as he let out a cheeky laugh, moving to fill the kettle up. “If Steve was here to hear that he’d be ripping your other arm clean off!”

“Like to see him try.” Bucky shrugged, tossing a tea bag into each cup.

***** Of course Bucky told Steve. Not entirely, as he didn’t want to break Katie’s confidence, but he did call Steve later that night as he drove home to his and Jen’s place to let him know she was feeling a little down. Steve felt like shit, he really did. He was finding this whole thing so hard but he knew that was nothing compared to how his wife must be feeling. It was one of the hardest things he had ever had to do. It eclipsed any of the missions they’d run with the Avengers…

And then he was struck with an idea. Oh, and it was good…if he could pull it off…

Reaching for his phone, he selected the names of the people he could reach, parking the one he couldn’t for a second and tapped out a simple message.

‘Avengers, assemble’

*****

The next day, Katie could tell Steve was up to something, she always could. As they were sat watching the morning TV shows as Flossie lay against Katie’s chest, sleeping, every so often he would check his watch. But she didn’t say anything, whatever he was up to he clearly wanted it to be a surprise.

And it certainly was when ten minutes later a familiar faced poked his head through the door.

“How you doing Nova?”

“Oh my God, Clint!” She beamed up at him as he crossed the room, the huge bunch of flowers held out. He placed a kiss to her cheek as Steve stood, shaking his hand and clapping the archer on the back. “How did-“ “Well, Cap messaged and I thought I’d come meet the latest Rogers addition.”

“Latest and the last.” Katie smiled as she passed Flossie to Steve who handed him over to Clint so he could give the baby a cuddle.

“Oh she’s gorgeous!” Clint smiled. “Florence right?”

“Yeah, Flossie for short.”

“You did good, Stark.” Clint grinned and Katie smiled, her attention flying to the door as once more it opened, the entire space being taken up by the hulking frame of Banner as he stooped to step into the room.

“Hey guys.” He smiled, and Katie stood up and made her way over to him. He gave her a gentle hug before she pulled back.

“It’s so good to see you both.” She beamed.

But before she could say anything else there was suddenly a loud commotion outside the room, and a very familiar voice boomed down the corridor. Katie felt her mouth drop open as she spun to Steve.

“You…”

Steve smiled and nodded.

“Thank you for your assistance, Lady Doctor.” The voiced travelled towards them and the door opened again, the familiar face of the God of Thunder beaming around at them.

“Friends!” His eyes flashed as he stepped into the room. “It has been too long.” Katie felt her eyes misting up as Thor crossed the room towards her, his hand dropping to the side of her neck in that affectionate way it always had.

“Hey Thunder God.” She sniffed.

“Little Stark.” He smiled, his face creased with emotion. “I hear you have given birth to another.” “Yeah, she’s,” Katie smiled, nodding to where Flossie was now back in Steve’s arms, Banner examining her, “she’s beautiful.” “I expect nothing else from a Little, Little Stark.” Thor beamed as he crossed the room to examine the baby. “What name have you given to her?” “Florence Saoirse.” Katie smiled “Flossie for short.”

“Flossie. I like it!” Thor grinned as he looked down at the baby.

“You got the message then?” Steve asked, passing Flossie into Thor’s strong arms. He had to admit, the God looked well. They’d seen him a handful of times since the final battle, he was spending a lot of time off planet but each time he re-appeared he looked better. And now, well he reminded Steve of the Thor he had first met.

“Yes, Valkyrie managed to contact me.” Thor nodded, his eyes fixed on the baby in his arms. “I was in the middle of a very tense game of Quadroblin with a man on Contraxia that Rabbit had roped me into. I was very glad of the excuse to escape.” Clint, Steve, Banner and Katie exchanged a glance before they looked at Thor.

“You have never heard of Quadroblin?” Thor asked, frowning a little as he looked round the room.

“No.” Clint arched an eyebrow.

“It is a very simple game, it involves four dice and various body parts…” “Yeah, okay, we don’t need to know.” Katie cut him off as she walked over to where Steve was stood. He dropped an arm round her shoulder and kissed her head. “Can you help me sit down?” She whispered to him and he nodded.

“Of course, Honey.” He said gently. As the two of them made their way over to the sofa, Banner and Clint were talking furiously, catching up as they hadn’t seen each other for over two years since they had visited post Harry’s birth. Thor was busy, now mumbling something to Flossie and Katie recognised the look on his face as being the same one he had adopted when he had held Jamie, Rori and Harry for the first time. He was giving Flossie an ancient Asgardian Blessing. His eyes were glowing with lightning fire as he held his hand gently over her forehead, his lips moving softly.

“Hey, Thor.” Katie spoke when he had finished and he looked at her, his eyes returning to their piercing blue. “You know, there’s a vacancy for Godfather if you want it. I mean Jamie has Banner and Rhodey, Rori has Bucky and Sam, Harry has Clint, Flossie doesn’t have anyone yet.” Steve squeezed Katie’s shoulder, as he agreed with his wife’s idea. “And who better than the actual God of Thunder?” He looked up at Thor, smiling.

Thor beamed, his eyes filling with tears as he glanced down at the baby in his arms. “I would be honoured.”

“Does this mean she will be worthy?” Clint asked, flopping down onto the arm of the sofa and Thor looked at him. “To wield your hammer, I mean?”

Thor chuckled. “It doesn’t work like that. The hammer makes its own decisions and it can also change its mind.”

“It’s a hammer.” Clint deadpanned. “Made of metal. It’s an inanimate object.” “No, no, Barton, it is much more than that. It has feelings.” “Whatever man, it’s a hammer, made of metal. How can it have feelings?”

“It deems you worthy at a certain point in time so you may lift it. It could therefore deem you unworthy as well at a future point.” Thor shrugged, matter of factly.

“I still think it’s a trick.” Clint rolled his eyes and Thor snorted, looking down at Flossie.

“If it was a trick then explain why the Captain was able to not only lift it but use it to summon the lightning that day during the Final Battle?”

Everyone fell silent and looked at Steve who gave a modest shrug. “You think you could still lift it, Cap?” Bruce looked at Steve who held his hands up, snorting.

“I have no intention of trying ever again.” He winked at Katie who smiled at him, before she lay her head on his shoulder and looked around the room which was full of five of the original seven Avengers. Two of their number might not be with them any longer, but the memory of them both was very much alive, especially as the chat inevitably turned to discussions of their Avengers days, memories being recalled, tears of laughter and sadness being shared.

Eventually, it was getting a little late in the afternoon and Steve knew Bucky would be arriving with the kids and having a room full would be simply too much to cope with. Thankfully, Clint could read the signs well enough with having three kids of his own and stood up, announcing he should be going. Thor and Banner followed suit and, after some emotional goodbyes they waved their friends out, listening to Barton and Thor’s good natured bickering as they left, the room falling silent and feeling slightly empty.

“Thank you.” Katie looked up at Steve and he turned to her, smiling.

“Well it occurred to me last night that this was the hardest mission I think we’ve ever run.” He said softly, “Thought it was only right that the five of us left came together.” “I wish it were still seven.” Katie said softly, peering down at Flossie who lay in her arms.

“I know.” Steve sat next to her, curling an arm round her shoulder.

The pair of them gazed down at their daughter, smiling softly as she moved her tiny fist, pressing it against her cheek.

Steve already knew the answer to Barton’s question. As far as he was concerned she was worthy, just like the woman that gave birth to her.

**Original Posting**

#stark spangled forever #steve rogers #steve rogers fanfiction #Katie Stark #steve rogers x ofc #steve rogers fic #steve rogers x original female character #mcu #mcu fanfic #chris evans #chris evans characters

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mystic-shadows42 · 4 years ago

Text

Possessive {Part 3}

A/N: Sorry this took me so long to write. Let me know if i’m missing anyone in the tags.

Warnings: Voyeurism, Mentions of sex, Self inflicted pain

It was quiet as you walked around Kattegat looking at all the offers traders had in store. You had been accompanied by Ivar but lost track of where he’d gone. Since there was nothing else for you to look at, you went in search of Ivar.

Even though you and Ivar seemed inseparable he was always the one to go off on his own neither telling you or anyone else what he does in his spare time.

This made you curious as to why he would keep it a secret since he didn’t like you doing the exact same thing.

As you were walking around you noticed a trail of flattened grass letting you know where he was headed. He was in the woods by the looks of it.

As you crept closer to a lake nearby you saw Ivar. He was just behind an old log peaking past it.

You narrowed your eyes in confusion. He was looking at something rather intently as he kept shuffling his body closer and closer.

You followed his line of sight. Your eyes widened in surprise as you saw Hvitserk with one of the thralls doing rather provocative things.

Then it clicked.

This is what Ivar does. He likes watching people initiate sex. He was watching what should have been private between lovers.

He was invading their personal time together.

A part of you wanted to reprimand him for doing such a thing but you didn’t want to alert Hvitserk and the woman he was with.

You looked around yourself and saw a rock that was big enough to get his attention.

With force behind it, you hit Ivar right on his shoulder making him scramble in his spot. He turned around quickly with widened eyes searching for the culprit that disturbed him.

When he saw it was you he visibly swallowed.

You pointed behind your shoulder for him to follow. You didn’t bother looking back at him to see if he was trailing behind you.

He knew what he did was wrong but the question still remained. Why?

Once you made it in a secluded area away from people you stood there with your arms crossed waiting on Ivar. He watched you where you stood as he got closer.

“Do you want to explain what you were doing?”

“You already know.”

“Explain it for me to understand.”

“I like to watch. When my brothers are with a woman it piques my curiosity. I like to watch how they touch. How they hold a woman. To see if they’re rough or soft.”

“That’s not for you to see. I don’t think your brothers would appreciate you doing that to them.”

Ivar laughed at you shaking his head.

“My brothers don’t care. As long as they’re inside a woman everything else seems to go away. A whole crowd could come to watch and they wouldn’t bat an eye.”

“I don’t like you doing that. That’s supposed to be done privately.”

Ivar watched your body language become more defensive. He noticed that you shifted from foot to foot and almost tried hiding your body from his view with your arms crossed.

“Do you want to be touched?” Ivar said lowly.

“What?”

“Do you want to know what a man’s hand feels like going up your dress? His hand moving so slow up your leg that it leaves you wet and wanting more. Feeling cold to the touch but also feeling hot in your core. His fingers will play your most precious part of your body like a melody.”

He said each word slowly. His eyes never left yours. He was making you feel uncomfortable and more exposed than ever.

This is what Ivar does. He wanted you to squirm, almost as if it gave him a sense of power over you.

“Ivar stop,” you whispered.

He crawled in your direction sitting just behind your frame.

Ivar moved your hair to the side and leaned in close. You could feel his hot breath by your ear.

“Aren’t you curious?” He placed his hand just below your dress and lifted it dragging his hand up your bare leg.

Ivar’s sexual desire was at its peak. He couldn’t contain himself.

You stood up abruptly turning to face him.

“Why did you do that?! Why must you say such things to me after I told you to stop?”

He put his arms up at his sides not knowing what the problem was. He still had that smirk on his face that infuriated you.

“It’s harmless.”

“I know you’re a man who has needs but don’t come to me sputtering this nonsense.”

“It’s going to happen at some point.”

At his statement you wrapped your arms around yourself on instinct, immediately feeling uncomfortable at the subject being brought up once again.

“I don’t want to hear about it.”

“It will happen to you. A man will take you to his bed. He’ll touch you in places that no other person has had the pleasure of doing so. It’ll feel good.”

“I don’t want to hear about a man touching me.” You walked away before he could say anything else.

“A man like me,” Ivar whispered to himself as he watched you walk away.

****

Late at night when you laid on your bed, Ivar snuck in to visit you. He settled himself just above your body. His arms encasing you in.

“There’s nothing more I want than to make you happy, you know that right?”

“Yes, you always remind me of that.” He made you smile at his sweet words.

Even as you smiled, he didn’t. You touched his cheek wondering what was bothering him.

“What troubles you?”

“What if I can make you feel good?”

“You do.”

“I mean in a way that lovers do. We can learn together and make each other feel good.”

He had such a vulnerable look on his face that it made you feel bad. He wanted to experience this with you to say the least.

You looked away for a moment which upset Ivar. He wanted your full undivided attention.

“Ivar, it’s not how I want to go about it.”

At your words, his whole demeanor changed.

“You don’t want me because I’m a cripple, is that it?!”

He was immediately on the defense. He pushed himself away from you as if you had hurt him. You sat up in bed and watched as he quickly made his way on the ground.

“That’s not what I meant.”

“It’s exactly what you meant!”

“Will you just listen?”

“You know one of these days I won’t be here and some man will take you willingly or not. Don’t be crying to me once you’ve been broken in!”

His words pierced your heart and shattered your soul. It was unbelievable how one small topic can turn into a disaster in a matter of seconds.

Words have meaning. They can be the most amazing ways of inspiration but they can also be turned against you too. They can hurt and shatter people.

That’s just how you were feeling.

“How can you say that?”

Once Ivar saw your tears he wanted to set his hurt pride aside and comfort you but he pushed that feeling away.

He said nothing and saw himself out of your room. Once he closed the door behind him he stayed there torturing himself by listening to you cry. All because of him.

He made you cry before but nothing like this. It used to be over petty things that could be forgotten within the same day.

He said stuff that he knew he’d be making up for countless years. He hit his head against the door.

He was frustrated at the whole situation but more with himself. He kept on banging his head against the door.

He did each hit more forcefully than the last. He felt the pain and knew he deserved it. He needed to punish himself.

He could feel the wetness of blood trickling down his head and down his back. Regardless of the pain, he didn’t stop.

When you opened the door, Ivar fell back with it. He landed with a thud onto his back.

He looked up at your red swollen eyes. He regretted not hurting himself harder. Much harder.

He fisted his hands and banged his head hard against the floor.

You dropped to your knees immediately cradling him in your arms.

“What are you doing?”

Ivar struggled in your arms. He didn’t want you to see him be weak.

“Stop Ivar! Stop it! Stop doing this to yourself.”

He started to relax and let himself be comforted in your arms.

He felt weak and he didn’t like the feeling. He wanted to feel empowered and strong. That’s what he wanted you to see him as.

“I don’t know what you’re trying to accomplish, Ivar, but hurting yourself won’t do any good.”

“I needed to feel something.”

“So you go on and cause yourself pain? How does that even make sense? You need to stop acting like a child. Men don’t throw tantrums they face situations.”

“I know.”

“Go see a healer.”

“You’re not coming with me?”

The innocent look he gave you was one of vulnerability. Had he forgotten what he caused in the first place?

You helped sit Ivar up and examined the back of his head. There was blood still trickling down.

You shook your head at the sight. Ivar was never an easy person to understand. He can be confusing and mean, that was just his defense mechanism, but it shouldn’t be used as an excuse.

This wouldn’t be forgotten so easily. You weren’t Aslaug. This time Ivar will make up what he’s done himself.

Tagged: @belovedcherry @lordsexmachine @lol-haha-joke @mariaenchanted @youbloodymadgenius @heavenly1927 @walkxthexmoon

#Ivar x reader #Ivar Imagine #Ivar fanfiction #Ivar the boneless #Ivar ragnarsson #Ivar Lothbrok #Vikings #Vikings fanfiction

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anythingstevenuniverse · 5 years ago

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*SU Spoiler* Never Ending Trauma

“Volleyball” was one of the best episodes in “Steven Universe: Future” premiere and maybe even the entire series franchise. We learned more about Pink Pearl’s past, the creation of Pearls, and got a new fusion between Pink Pearl and Pearl. The animation, story, and emotional rollercoaster was very well done in this episode. Most interesting of this episode was the affects of trauma and how it never goes away.

I stated in multiple previous posts that Steven cannot heal her scar. Reason being is the scar is psychological not physical. Although Steven can enter an astral projection state, he does not use it in this episode. We have seen in “Reunited” when Steven becomes an astral projection he can encourage and reason with people’s thoughts. It would not be surprising if Steven has control over that power in the two-year time skip. However, he did not use it for Pink Pearl’s scarred eye. The reason is because he thought the scarred eye was physical damage he could not fix and once hearing his mother was the cause he wanted to fix things quickly. “That doesn’t matter how it happened, what matters is finding a way to fix it.” This is unusual for Steven as he usually finds the root cause of the problem. He did not think it could be a psychological issue and instead goes to Pearl for help.

Pearl is explicitly salty with Pink Pearl. It could be because both were Pink Diamond’s Pearls and have different viewpoints. Pink Pearl is still obsessed with Pink Diamond while Pearl has moved on from her. Instead of Pearl being worried about Pink Pearl’s obsession, she is somewhat competing with her on who knew Pink Diamond better and who was the better Pearl. It was not until Pink Pearl tells the story of how Pink Diamond was the reason for her scarred eye did Pearl start fighting. Both had two different views of Pink Diamond. Pink Pearl portrayed Pink Diamond as an over-emotional child who kept throwing destructive tantrums and never changed. Pearl saw Pink Diamond/Rose Quartz as stoic and secretive leader with the ability to heal. Both only saw one side of Pink Diamond: one who changed and one who stayed the same. Pink Pearl and Pearl keep fighting about who Pink Diamond was until Steven gets angry and activates Shell protocol to rejuvenate both Pearls.Once the Pearls are trapped and about to be rejuvenated, Pearl apologizes to Pink Pearl and realizes she is still excusing Pink Diamond/Rose Quartz’s actions. Pink Pearl realizes she has done the same thing, is still in denial, and Pearl tells her it does not matter if it was intentional or accidental Pink Diamond still hurt her. Once she realizes she was badly hurt and wants the pain to go away she asks Pearl how she was able to stop feeling this pain and Pearl answers she has not stopped. This becomes important to both Pearls because it gives them an understanding of each other, and they can fuse.

Steven and Mega Pearl were able to shut down and escape the Reef and return to Beach City. Steven apologizes to Mega Pearl for not the problem not being fixed and the effort being wasted but Mega Pearl disagrees. “Your mother’s Pearls never had the whole picture. One knew your mother as trying to change, but she couldn’t understand why. The other never expected her to change at all. Now I get to understand everything. Now they have each other.” Once both Pearls had a full understanding of Pink Diamond, they understand their pain and can learn to move on.

This episode was very impactful and moving because it deals with many different aspects of trauma. “Steven Universe” has showcased the effects of trauma in different episodes and in the movie. However, “Volleyball” portrayed multiple aspects of trauma: trauma is never ending, intentional or unintentional people’s words and actions can cause lasting trauma, physical and psychological trauma can correlate, feeling pain from trauma is valid, fixing the problem and not finding the cause can cause more damage, intentional or accidental it is not okay to hurt someone, and no one is alone when it comes to trauma.

1) Trauma is never ending

Whether physical or psychological, trauma does not go away. We saw this not only with Pink Pearl but also with Pearl. In the beginning of “Steven Universe” we see Pearl was traumatized by Rose Quartz disappearance and never coped with her death until later in the series. However, once Pink Pearl shared her story of her scarred eye, Pearl fought with her about her experience with Pink Diamond/Rose Quartz. It was not until they were trapped did Pearl realize she was still making excuses for Pink Diamond/Rose Quartz’s actions just like Pink Pearl.

This is an iconic scene between the two because Pearl admits she never stopped feeling pain from Pink Diamond/Rose Quartz’s actions. Trauma can never go away, especially if it was severe. Even with help (therapy, groups, counseling, support, etc.), trauma does not truly go away. However, that does not mean it can ruin us either. Once trauma is recognized and one decides to seek help, can it be easier to cope with. Trauma is never ending and makes life difficult, but it does not have to control our lives. Like Pearl who always has her trauma with her has learned to move on with her life and become a better person. Trauma is a part of us, but we can learn to recognize it and cope in order to move on and live a better life.

2) Physical and psychological trauma can correlate

Physical and psychological trauma can be separate and together. In Pink Pearl’s case, the scar on her eye was related to her psychological trauma from Pink Diamond’s destructive powers. The crack started to expand when she was in denial of her trauma. “I’m sorry there’s nothing I can do. Her physical form shows damage, but her pearl is perfectly fine. This injury must have been so impactful that it continues to manifest despite the fact her pearl has been repaired.” Not even Shell, a machine designed to create, customize, and repair Pearls, could not fix Pink Pearl’s damage because it is psychological. However, Shell also agreed Pink Pearl’s physical form is damage. However, because the Gem was fine, Shell could not do anything with Pink Pearl’s scar and trauma. When hearing this, it reminded me of health care professionals who separated physical trauma and mental trauma. Although it has gotten better, there are still stigmatizations of people dealing with trauma and how it affects them both mentally and physically. An example of physical and mental trauma is self-harm. To really understand trauma, physical and psychological damage/stress must be considered together not separately.

3) Feeling pain from trauma is valid

Trauma is seen as fading away over time. Although it can be easier to cope with, there are still lingering effects that can be triggered. We all thought Pearl had moved on from Pink Diamond/Rose Quartz but after Pink Pearl realized she was hurt in the past and is still hurt, Pearl told her the pain never went away. Pain from trauma is recognized in the beginning but once others see you are getting help, the pain is presumed erased. That is far from the truth. Yes, trauma does become easier to cope with, but it never goes away. Much like Pearl who has gone through so much to heal her trauma still has pain related to it. Having pain related to trauma does not go away and it should be valid towards all aspects of healing from it, even if the person has been moving on for years!

4) Fixing the problem and not finding the cause can cause more damage

It goes without saying that fixing a problem without finding the main cause(s) is going to create more damage. Usually Steven is the one who wants to find the cause before fixing something but wanted to fix Pink Pearl’s eye because it was related to his mother. He does not tell Pearl the scar was done by Pink Diamond because he does not want to deal with his mother’s mistakes again. It is understandable why he wants to avoid the wrongs his mother has done. However, it makes him more focused on fixing the problem and rushes instead of taking time. It is not until the Pearls argue about Pink Diamond does Steven snap about his feelings towards his mother and causes damage to the Reef and triggers Pink Pearl’s trauma. Trauma takes time to recognize, process, and heal. Fixing someone’s trauma instead of finding the cause and taking small steps to help is does more harm then good and can even make trauma worse. It takes patience and time to heal from trauma.

6) Intention or accidental it is not okay to hurt someone

No matter the situation or reason, it is not okay to hurt someone, intentional or accidental. Pink Pearl kept saying Pink Diamond damaging her eye was an accident caused by a tantrum. She made excuses for Pink Diamond’s actions because she did not mean to hurt her. It is never ok to excuse someone from hurting the other person even if it was an accident. It was Pink Diamond’s fault for creating Pink Pearl’s scar but instead of telling her it hurt her, she blames herself for being too close. Everyone has done or said something to hurt the other person. Does that mean it doesn’t hurt the person? No. Even unintentional, actions and words can hurt someone. Even if the person who caused the pain apologizes; the damage is already done. Someone can be apologetic but meaning it and changing one’s actions and behavior towards the person to not cause more harm may help heal (not all the time). The point is it is never ok to hurt someone, accidental or intentional.

7) No one is alone when it comes to trauma

At first, trauma makes us feel alone. Especially when no one helps or help is not asked, the pain from trauma can be unbearable and lonely. This could be either the trauma is not recognized by the person dealing with it or is afraid of stigmatization or pain resurfacing. Pink Pearl was in complete denial of her trauma and does not recognize it until Pearl says she was badly hurt by Pink Diamond. Pearl was able to help her by stating she has felt the same trauma and has not fully recovered either. When fused as Mega Pearl, both Pearls were able to understand one another’s trauma. Having someone, especially when they have similar traumatic experiences, helps to feel less alone about the pain and suffering. It helps to process trauma from another’s experience and validates feelings of pain and suffering. It is truly wonderful how Pink Pearl was able to smile after all that ordeal and lean on Pearl who understands her pain. Having someone who understands your trauma is uplifting and helps process and take steps to recovery.

This episode showcased the harmful effects of trauma and how the pain never goes away. I have stated multiple times trauma is life-long, but it does not mean it is hopeless or never heals. It can be easy to heal once trauma is recognized and one asks for help. Thanks to the help of Pearl, Pink Pearl was able to understand she was traumatized by Pink Diamond and was hurting despite being in denial. Pearl and Pink Pearl now have each other, both experiencing similar trauma, and Pink Pearl can now start to cope with her trauma and move on with her life. Just because the trauma sticks with you it does not have to take control of your life. The episode showed Pink Pearl, Pearl, and Steven dealing with trauma dealt by Pink Diamond. But we all see in the end, with self-awareness and help, one can heal from trauma and learn to move forward. “Volleyball” portrayed trauma in a way that is relatable and powerful: trauma does not go away, but you can heal and move forward with the help of others and yourself. Seeing Pink Pearl at the end gives hope that one can move on with their life even with the pain of trauma following. Well done Crewniverse!

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itsclydebitches · 3 years ago

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I'm so sorry to keep sending asks about this, but there's just so much EW with her as I keep playing the game, Yen really refuses to believe that Geralt lost his memory? And that that's why he slept with Triss? I'm usually very "if you made a mistake but you didn't think you did but it still hurt someone, you should try to see it from the other side" but he literally lost his memory, I can't even call it a mistake because he didn't remember shit and Triss took advantage of that? So??? While seeing it from Yens side is good and all (the man you're in love with gets with your friend for a long while), ask literally anyone Geralt interacted with when he had amnesia?? Just met up with Eskel, one of the first things he said was "see you've gotten your memory back" or some shit so Yens really in the wrong here. Can I even say she got cheated on? They were on and off for like 20 years, is it cheating on her if you get with someone while you two are off??

I can't even say, it was shitty he got with her friend, cause HE LOST HIS MEMORY HE DIDN'T KNOW SHIT.

I am ALWAYS up for Witcher asks, frustrated or otherwise 😂

It's like... she knows it happened, she doesn't think he's lying or anything (I mean, it happened to her too!), it's just she doesn't consider it a good excuse or explanation for everything that happened during that time. Despite, as you say, the fact that Geralt literally could not have made different choices here, given his complete lack of knowledge and the ways in which his friends either a) manipulated him (Triss) or b) withheld information (pretty much everyone else. As someone who greatly dislikes Yen, it's rather funny how no one is interested in reminding Geralt of his supposed True Love in the first two games lol). He did everything he could to get his memory back. Then he did everything he could to find Yen once he knew that she existed... what else could he have done?? It's a completely illogical, hypocritical stance, which isn't necessarily a problem in and of itself because people do respond to tough situations illogically and hypocritically, but rather the problem lies in the story just... letting Yen maintain that stance. She never has to admit her shortcomings here or grow from them and the fandom tends to lean into that bias. Every conversation I've come across regarding the amnesia is overflowing with the argument, "But think about how hard that is for Yen. Of course she's upset!" Yeah, she's allowed to be upset, but taking that grief out on the innocent party is not okay. I literally don't care about how upset she is because at this point everyone, including her, is using "But it's hard" as a catch-all excuse for her behavior. Geralt can acknowledge how difficult a situation this is and express sympathy, but Geralt should not have to shoulder undeserved blame for that difficult situation. The equivalent of saying "I'm sorry" when someone has been going through it, extending compassion even though you, obviously, do not bear responsibility for the hardship in question. However, Yen wants a literal "I'm sorry." An acknowledgement that Geralt is somehow to blame. She wants him to beg for a forgiveness he doesn't require.

Yen is immature and at no point during the game does she evolve out of that. Sure, as we've discussed she'll do anything to keep her two loved ones safe, but outside of keeping them alive, she sees the world as perpetually revolving around her. There is SO MUCH during the Kaer Morhen arc that just had me metaphorically banging my head against the wall, asking why I'm supposed to like this woman, particularly when it came to her cruel immaturity regarding the amnesia. I won't go into particulars in case you haven't gotten to it all yet, but from what Geralt says to how he chooses to spend his time, he had better be doing things Yen wants and saying the things she prefers to hear, otherwise she jumps straight to anger, sometimes with added magic. So if Yen doesn't want to acknowledge that Geralt had no control over losing his memory, she just won't! I just don't find that attractive, either as a romantic partner or a character I'm supposed to like.

Oh, and all of this doesn't even get into how Geralt lost his memory as a result of helping Yen. Prior to the games, the Hunt kidnapped her and offered a trade: you join us, we release her. Geralt took it without hesitation and it's only when he escaped that the Hunt's magic caused the amnesia. So not only is she furious over something he had no control over, but she knows this whole tragedy started due to him trying to save her.

"We struck a deal. My soul for that of Yennefer."

Adding to this is the fact that yeah, I think calling the situation "cheating" would be a bit of a stretch. Not only have they been on and off again for their whole relationship, Yen was also trying to get with a witcher while without her memories. So Triss is knowingly seducing Geralt and Yen is trying to seduce Auckes... but only Geralt is to blame for things done under amnesia? Miss me with that lol

"Well, the woman turned out to be quite a character. Throwing temper tantrums, trying to seduce Auckes, trying to drive a wedge between us."

#witcher #mymetas

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what-is-your-plan-today · 4 years ago

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Stark Spangled Forever: She Is Worthy

Warnings: Bad Language words. Descriptions of a few things to do with childbirth that may trigger a few people…

Pairing: Steve Rogers x OFC Katie Stark

A/N: So here she is…introducing Florence- Flossie- Rogers.

SSF Masterlist // WIYPT

Steve stood in the doorway of their room, watching as Katie packed everything back into the small suitcase. He let out a soft sigh and she turned to look at him.

“Honey, that’s the 5th time you’ve unpacked and repacked that.” he said gently, crossing the room.

“ I just want to be sure I have everything.” she shrugged “We’re gonna be in there for a long time and-“ “I know sweetheart.” he said gently, taking her face in his hands “But we checked everything off the list. And if there’s something missing then I can always go get it.”

He took the baby grow she was currently holding out of her hands, folded it and placed it in the bag before he shut the lid, zipped it up and then turned to face her as she melted into his arms.

“I’m so scared Steve.” her voice was trembling as he simply stood there, his arms holding her as close as her bump would allow, his face pressing into her hair.

“I know but I’ll be with you the whole time.” he assured her for what felt like the 500th occurrence. Not that he cared, he’d carry on saying it for as long as she needed to hear it “And if there’s anyone that can get through this it’s you.” They stayed still, Katie taking deep breaths and letting his soft touch and smell calm her. Eventually she pulled back and looked up at him.

“Love you.” “Love you too.” he smiled, dropping a kiss to her lips “Now, without spoiling the surprise Bucky, Sam, Pepper and the kids are waiting in the lounge”

Katie smiled, “Yeah, I heard the door before. Plus Rori was whispering very loudly to Emmy at breakfast about some secret plans which included Moo.”

Steve chuckled “She can’t keep anything quiet.” “Well, at least she’s not throwing tantrums about Flossie anymore.” Katie shrugged, her hands resting on Steve’s chest over his blue plaid button down “Small mercies.” He smiled “Ok, I’ll go down and tell them you’re coming then you can walk in and look surprised ok?”

“Sounds like a plan…and you’d know, because-“ “Doll, just don’t…” he cut her off before she could launch into that infernal song and she giggled, her smile lighting up her pretty face, and it warmed his heart to see her worry melt away, even if he knew it was only temporary. He softly kissed her forehead before he left the room.

Wiping her eyes she checked her mascara hadn’t run, fluffed her long hair out slightly which had been done that morning- one final pamper session for goodness knows how long- and she headed out onto the landing and down the stairs. Taking a deep breath she fixed a smile on her face and walked into the lounge, and at the sight of her four kids, husband, best friends, sister-in-law and niece the smile became a genuine one as she was greeted with smiles and hugs and kisses.

“How you feeling?” Bucky whispered as he gave her a hug.

“Petrified.” She replied simply and he responded by gripping her a little tighter, his hand rubbing softly at her back

“You’ll crush it” He said gently, “You always do.”

“Hug momma!” he grinned and she smiled, allowing him to settle his arms around her neck, kissing his check, whilst Steve kept him safely gripped in his arms.

“So…” Pepper cleared her throat “We know that you probably wanted a quiet evening with the fact you have a fairly busy day tomorrow…” at that Katie chuckled as Pepper picked a paper gift bag up from the coffee table “We just wanted to stop by and give you a little something that hopefully comes in handy whilst your recovering.”

Katie stepped forward and gently reached into the paper gift bag. Led on the top were some beautiful L’OCCITAINE toiletries, all in miniature sizes for her to take with her.

“Just for those moments when you’re in there and need reminding of the Superhero you are.” Pepper said gently as Katie stepped towards her, the two women embracing.

“I wish he was here.” Katie whispered, who he was needed no explanation and Pepper gave her a harder squeeze before she pulled back.

“He’d be so proud of you, you know.” Pepper whispered to her gently as Katie reached up to wipe the tears which had slid down her face.

“Momma upset Daddy?” Harry looked at Steve who pressed a kiss to the boy’s head, his own emotions threatening to bubble over.

“She’s ok buddy.” he said, smiling at him. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Are you ok Auntie Kiddo?” Morgan spoke and Katie turned to look at her, smiling as Tony’s eyes looked back at her.

“I am now.” She smiled, crossing the room and bending to give her niece a huge hug. “Thank you for the gift sweetie, it’s going to come in real useful.”

She rest a hand on her bump, her other hand going to her back and Steve, spotting the signs well enough, gently handed Harry over to Bucky and moved to help her sit down on the other sofa.

“You ok?”

She nodded, smiling as he dropped a kiss to her cheek.

She frowned at him and he shrugged at her.

“It’s from Stark.” He said.

She glanced at Steve who was stood next to Bucky, watching Jamie. He gave his eldest son a wink as Katie tore of the paper and gave a little chuckle at the new Kindle.

“He says he’s sorry for chewing your other one.” Jamie said as the dog in question lay in the middle of the floor on his side, tail wishing.

“I’m sure he is.” Katie smiled “Thanks Stark.”

He looked up and thumped his tail against the carpet.

“I already set it up and logged your profile in” Emmy said, looking at her mom.

“Thanks guys!” Katie beamed at them “You know you really didn’t have to. I wasn’t expecting any of this, at all, from any of you.”

“You won’t be saying thanks when you see our gift.” Sam smirked and Bucky snorted.

Steve looked at them “What did you do?” Bucky ignored him and Sam passed Katie a small gift bag. She pulled out a box and opened it, frowning at the plain white mug.

“Erm…” “Yeah, we need hot water…” Sam said and Emmy took the mug from her mother and headed back into the kitchen.

“It changes.” Bucky said simply, and at that point they heard Emmy’s loud laugh ringing down the hallway. She returned carrying the mug, grinning ear to ear as she handed it to Katie. Katie stared at it for a second before he started to laugh as she saw the picture that had appeared with the heat. It was clearly a selfie taken of Bucky and Sam, in what looked like Central Park, but the pair of them were pulling a ridiculous face. Bucky was cross eyed, Sam had his tongue stuck out and nose scrunched up with his eyes closed, and the pair of them were holding up their fingers behind the other one’s head in the peace sign. Along the bottom the words “Don’t you wish your husband was hot like us…and this drink?” glared out at her and she shook her head, her laughter showing no signs of stopping.

“I can’t even…” she wiped the tears of mirth from her face as Steve took the mug from her and shook his head, looking at his friends.

“You said stuff she could use Stevie.” Bucky shrugged.

“Yeah, use in the hospital!” Steve stared at the pair of them.

“And I can!” Katie looked at him. “Be nice to have my own special mugs for drinks.”

“Yeah, see?” Sam nodded “Practical and personal.”

“I love it.” Katie grinned “Thank you.”

Rori, who had been watching all this, walked to her dad and tugged gently at his jeans. He stooped to pick her up and she whispered into his ear “Is it time for our present now Daddy?”

“Not yet.” He said, looking at Katie who was now talking to Pepper about something, looking far more relaxed than Steve had seen her in days.

“Why not?” she asked.

Steve looked at her. He knew what the kids had made for her was going to set her off again, hell, it had set him off when he had seen it finished so he knew full well she would appreciate it much more if it was just them around.

“Because I think it’s so special that Momma’s going to need time to look at it properly”

And cry when there was no one else but them around.

Rori nodded, accepting his explanation and kissed her dad’s cheek, laying her head in the crook of his shoulder.

Everyone stayed for pizza which Emmy had made, from scratch Katie was impressed to find, having followed her recipe for the dough. The kids rolled a small one out each, decorating with their own toppings whilst Emmy loaded the larger ones for the adults with the standard Rogers favourites, with extra jalapenos for Bucky. Once everyone was stuffed to the brim it was time to say goodbye. Bucky arranged to come back in the morning to be on hand to help Emmy with the kids as Steve had a sneaky suspicion that wasn’t going to go as smoothly as they hoped, Rori already making noises about wanting to go with them. He’d told her she couldn’t several times but she’d simply shot him that “whatever” look, thinking she’d get round him as she usually did. At least with Bucky around to help, Emmy could concentrate on Harry a little more. Jamie, well, he was old enough now to understand a little and had already promised Steve he would be good for his eldest sister, puffing his chest out slightly as Steve had told him he needed to assume the “man of the house role”.

The house felt a little empty when everyone had gone. Katie sat still for a moment, taking in the quiet before she announced she was going to head upstairs and put her gifts in her bag, but Steve stopped her.

“There’s one more you’ll need to pack too.” He said, and at that Jamie looked at Rori who immediately skipped off out of the room before she returned holding something behind her back.

“We didn’t know what to get you…” Emmy started to explain as Rori held out the thin book to her mom.

“So we made you something.” Jamie added.

“Daddy helped.” Rori nodded as Katie took the book from her, looking down at the black leather cover upon which the words “

“The best thing about memories is making them…and between us we’ve made a lot.”

Katie smiled and turned the page, her smile growing even wider as the first thing she was greeted with was a picture of her and Steve taken years and years ago, before they even got together, on a night out with the SHIELD team. The pair of them were both looking a each other, Katie’s nose wrinkled in a laugh and Steve’s face sported his trademark, schoolboy grin. She looked at Steve who smiled at her as she turned the page.

The entire book was littered with photos. From her SHIELD days, through to the Avengers days, photos of her and Natasha, the whole team, one of her and Tony both laughing hysterically in the office, and even some press action shots of her swirling through the air over Sokovia, flying in tandem with Tony.

“Where did you get all these?” She looked up and Steve hesitated for a second before he shrugged.

“Pepper had a lot on the Stark Industries archive and Queens may or may not have helped us acquire some too.”

“He cracked the old SHIELD main frame” Emmy grinned and Katie laughed “With a bit of help from EDITH.” She continued through the pages and eventually she turned onto one, which contained a photo of her, Steve and Emmy way back at the first Stark Christmas Party Steve had met Emmy. They were both in their Avengers suits, Emmy stood in front of them, giving a huge toothy grin. Underneath it was a photo of the 3 of them taken at Emmy’s graduation. Across the page opposite Emmy had written a message – “Family isn’t always blood. It’s the people in your life who want you in theirs; the ones who accept you for who you are. The ones that would do anything to see you smile and love you no matter what. Love you Momma x”

“Oh, Em…” Katie looked up at her, her eyes filling with tears. Emmy smiled and sat down next to Rori.

“Keep going!” Rori demanded. “My pages are the best.” “Shut up Rori.” Jamie rolled his eys.

“Yeah, shuddup Rowi.” Harry glared at her and Steve arched his eyebrow.

“How about the lot of you shut up?” He said, and all the kids turned to him, narrowing their eyes.

Katie turned to the next 2 pages, which were Jamie’s and contained the photo that Katie adored, the one of him asleep on his dad’s chest when he was merely hours old, and a more up to date photo of him and her in the garden which had been taken on his birthday the year before. He hadn’t written a message, instead his artistic nature had taken over and he’d drawn a number of little sketches. A baseball, Stark’s head, one of his game console controller and an ice cream cone. All little things that were personal to him.

The next 2 were Rori’s and her baby photo was one of her, Steve and Katie taken the morning after she had been born in their bedroom. Both of them were looking down at her, Steve’s hand gently curled under Katie’s as she held her. The more up to date photo was one of her all her Diva glory as she stood, one hand on her hip, the other flicking her hair out whilst she pouted at the camera. Katie gave a snort at the photo, and then her eyes turned to the page opposite which was basically a collection of cuttings from magazines of all sorts of princess type stuff, and the entire lot was decorated in a fuck tonne of pink and gold glitter.

She smiled and then turned to Harry’s page. Another baby photo, this time of him clutched to Katie’s chest in the hospital as she kissed his head. His more up to date one had been taken a week or so ago in the garden, wrapped up so much only his eyes were peeking out. Katie had laughed at the time, as his hat kept slipping down over his eyes. The page opposite was a hand print, which had been once more decorated with glitter

“I helped.” Rori said, nodding firmly.

The next page contained a photo of Lucky led under his tree, then opposite was Stark sat in the same spot.

“It’s so we can add her in.” Jamie nodded and Katie swallowed, the lump in her throat thick as she smiled and turned to the last pages.

On one side was the photo of her and Steve taken at the New Years Eve Gala, their first formal event together, and a photo she could herself probably draw from memory. On the next page was one of the pair of them taken at Rori’s birthday party the year before. It had been taken in the evening and Katie was perched on Steve’s knee, both of them flush from alcohol but the same love struck expression that was present in the first was just as evident on Steve’s face as Katie’s wore the exact same happy grin. Underneath Steve had written her a little message “Fate whispered to the Warrior ‘You can’t fight the storm’ and the warrior whispered back ‘Oh, but I am the storm’. Love you until the end of the line, Doll. Yours always, Steve xx”

“Guys…” Katie’s voice croaked and she looked up, tears clouding her vision “This is amazing…”

“You can look at it when you’re away from us and we’ll be there, isn’t that right Daddy?” Rori asked, looking up at Steve who was choking back his own emotions.

“Sure is.” He nodded.

“Thank you…” Katie said, her voice cracking and all of their kids moved to give her a hug, Harry scrambling onto her knee, his hands tangling into her hair. “I love you all so much.” ***** After a pretty restless night, they were up and out of the house after Katie wished a teary goodbye to everyone. Rori had started to kick up a stink but Bucky had quickly distracted her with the promise of a trip to the Waffle House and it was Harry that ended up having the meltdown, the fact that his momma was leaving him registered in his brain. Steve could see Katie was starting to get upset so he took charge and simply ushered her out of the house, his cries dying down as the door shut behind them. As they drove to the hospital, she remained quiet all the way, her hand simply wrapped around his where it lay resting on the central arm rest and he noticed her breathing growing a little more erratic as he pulled off the main road and down the small lane that led to the private hospital. He raised his hand and pressed a kiss to her wrist.

This wasn’t the hospital she’d had Jamie or Harry at, this was a different one that Dr Kellet had suggested she might find more comfortable given how long she was going to be here. Katie had said to Steve that she doubted she would feel comfortable anywhere, but when they were shown to the room which Katie was going to call home for the next week or so, she was pleasantly surprised to find that it was more like a hotel room than a hospital suite. It was decorated in soothing neutral colours, the bed was a queen size (which Steve was thankful for as it meant not only could he snuggle up to her, but sleeping on those chairs or camp beds really did his neck in). There was a bathroom with a tub, a wardrobe with a set of drawers in, a small sitting area with a small kitchenette area where she could heat up food and make herself a drink, a 2 seater couch and a table and a TV on the wall. The Midwife left them to get settled in and Steve helped her unpack, the pair of them smiling at the various baby grows they’d bought, one of which had been supplied by Bucky and Sam which sported the words “You think my dad’s bad, you should meet my uncles…”

Katie set her little Nova Files book on the night stand and then frowned.

“You ok?”

“When you go home, can you bring me the photo from my nightstand, you know the photo of all of us at Peppers from the summer?”

Steve arched an eyebrow and then reached into the suitcase and handed it to her. “I popped it in this morning.”

She smiled softly, his ever thoughtful nature always made her feel warm, and she leaned up to kiss him “My hero.”

“Ok, Mrs Rogers…this shouldn’t take long at all.” the Anaesthetist spoke calmly to her, but Katie didn’t respond other than to reach for Steve’s hand. Her fingers laced through his and he raised them slightly, pressing a soft kiss to her finger, just above the place where her rings sat.

“You look ridiculous in that” She said quietly, her eyes roving Steve’s hospital gown and he gave a smile.

“As ridiculous as the first Cap suit you saw me in?”

“I liked that suit.” she muttered, as she flinched a little as the anaesthetists hand touched her bare skin through the back of her gown.

“As much as the Stealth one?” he asked, but other than giving him a smile she didn’t reply as she was busy trying to blank out the fact that she could feel a sharp scratch where the needle had pierced her skin. But her attempts to focus on where she was were not working. For a horrible moment she was back in that painfully bright HYDRA cell, as 3 men pinned her to the floor, her body already violated and battered, whilst they stuck whatever fucking shitty chemical it was into her spine leaving her paralysed from the waist down for hours, laughing as she was forced to drag herself over the floor.

Steve instantly spotted that she was gone from the way her eyes were scrunched shut, her breathing deep. She was absolutely petrified. Swallowing slightly he did the only thing he could think to.

“Eyes on me.” Steve said, his voice stern and she opened them to see him looking at her “I got you.” he promised, his eyes locked onto hers, his thumb gently arching over her knuckles.

“Ok, all done.” The Anaesthetist announced and Katie let out a shaky sob.

“Well done Mrs Rogers.” Dr Kellet spoke softly and Steve smiled, brushing Katie’s face with his hand.

“You did it baby.” he said softly “Hardest part is over.”

Whilst that seemed such a ridiculous notion, considering she had yet to go through the actual operation, Steve (and everyone in the room for that matter, thanks to Dr Kellet’s coaching) knew that the through of a needle in her pine rendering her numb from the waist down was the biggest issue here. And Steve was grateful for the gentle nature they’d all conducted the procedure with.

“Ok, you ready to lay back?” Dr Kellet asked and Katie nodded. Steve stood up, taking over, helping her get as comfortable as she could

“So, the anaesthetic is controlled through this.” Dr Kellet pointed to the pipe which led into a small pump hooked up next to her IV bag. “You should start to feel the effects in the next 10 minutes. As soon as it’s worked then we can deliver her.”

Katie nodded “ok.”

“Right, ok, we’ll get set up then.” Dr Kellet, looked around the room and started barking orders to the various staff in the room, all of whom were scrubbed up. A heart and blood pressure monitor were attached to Katie, along with sensors to monitor Flossie, and then Steve watched as two nurses began to wheel the screens into place which would block Katie’s lower body from her and his view and then he turned back to his wife.

“Wonder if Rori has managed to paint Bucky’s toenails yet.”

Katie snorted “She’ll probably be sticking fridge magnets to his arm.”

“He loves it.” Steve smiled.

“He loves her.” Katie corrected him. “He loves all of them.

“And Floss is gonna be no exception.” Steve smiled. “I hope she looks like you too.”

“We’ll find out soon enough.” Katie said.

Soon enough turned out to be 55 minutes later.

“And here she is…” Dr Kellet moved, gently rounding the screens and placing Florence onto Katie’s chest. Katie gave a little gasp as she held her daughter for the first time, her tiny face screwed up as she cried, all pink and soft. Her noises died down somewhat as she pressed against her mother’s chest and Steve glanced down at her, sniffing slightly as he pressed a kiss to Katie’s forehead.

“She’s perfect…” Katie breathed, her eyes watering, “Hi Flossie…” She studied her daughter for a moment, trying to get a lock on her features, but she was slightly different to what any of the others had looked like. Jamie had been recognisable as Steve instantly, Rori as her, and there’d been features of them both they’d spotted in Harry but here, well, she looked like Steve in some ways, she had the same eye shape and nose, but then in others she didn’t particularly look like either of them…it was strange. She turned to look at Steve to mention it to him and then frowned a little as the tears were pouring down his face.

“Soldier?” she frowned, “What’s…” He wiped his eyes and took a deep breath, reaching out with a large hand to softly smooth over his baby daughter’s head. “She er…” he swallowed and then looked at Katie, smiling through his tears “She looks like my Ma.”

“I’ve just had an idea for a middle name.” he said, looking at Katie who glanced up at him. That was still something up that point they hadn’t come to an agreement on “Saoirse.”

Katie smiled “That’s unusual. I like it.” “It’s Irish.” He looked at her, then down to Flossie who lay still in his arms apart from the odd wrinkle of her nose and opening of her mouth “It means Freedom.” “I love it.” Katie beamed “It’s perfect. What made you think of that?” “It was my Ma’s middle name.” he said, his eyes once more on Flossie.

“Wait, your Ma’s initials were SSR?” Katie looked at Steve who glanced at her for a moment as her words sunk in at which point he let out a loud chuckle.

“Yeah, so they were.” He grinned “Huh, how ‘bout that?”

******

Of course, giving birth is only one part of the journey as they both knew only too well, but whilst a C-section delivery left Katie feeling slightly less drained than the other 3 it brought with it a whole heap of other issues, the first being that as Flossie had been delivered 5 weeks earlier and by section Katie’s milk hadn’t come in. Whilst, again, during the run up to the birth they had been warned that this could take a few days but what Katie hadn’t been prepared for was the utter helplessness she felt when she had tried and failed. Coupled with the fact that Flossie was finding it hard to feed due to her airway and throat being full of mucus- a very common issue with C-section babies, Katie was getting herself more and more worked up, the ever patient midwife simply remained on hand attempting to calm her down and assure her everything was perfectly normal and that being formula fed plus plenty of skin to skin contact would be perfectly fine.

“I didn’t breast feed either of my 2.” The midwife looked at Katie, smiling “It’s down to a personal preference and how you feel. It doesn’t make you any less of a mother, despite what some people may say.”

“I’m so proud of you.” He said, kissing her head, his voice slightly choked. “So fuckin’ proud sweetheart.”

One of the other issues was that as Katie had undergone major surgery, it was advised that there were no visitors until the following day. Again, this had been explained to them both prior to her admission, but once more Katie hadn’t realised how bad that would make her feel. She missed her other kids terribly and started to get a little bit emotional when she thought about them at home without either of them. But the wonders of modern technology allowed the pair of them to video call back home and introduce Flossie to the clan, Rori providing some well needed comic relief.

“I thought she would look like me?” she said rather indignantly as she was shown Flossie on the camera. “She’s all pink and wrinkly and….”

“Well so were you.” Steve smiled at her “But besides, I told you, you’re one of a kind princess.”

Rori’s green eyes blinked at her father and she shrugged “Well, dur…I know that, but she’s a girl. She’s supposed to look like me and momma.” “She actually looks like your daddy’s momma.” Katie smiled “Your nanna Sarah.” Rori paused, and then shook her head “How can she look like an old woman? She’s a baby.” At that Steve let out a loud bark of a laugh as Katie chuckled slightly, trying not to laugh too much as, well frankly it fucking hurt.

“Oh Rori…” Steve chuckled, shaking his head. “Don’t ever change.”

She looked at him and shrugged “Whatever, here Emmy you can have the phone.”

And with that she was gone.

“Steve…” He turned to look at Katie as she smiled at him. “Is she ok?” “She’s fine sweetheart.” He smiled, crossing back over the room. “Do you want her?”

Katie nodded as she shuffled up, wincing a little and once she was comfortable, Steve handed Florence over so Katie could finish off the feed.

“You might need some help showering.” She said, looking at Katie who shook her head.

“Managed fine the other times.” “Yeah, but last time you hadn’t had an operation.” Steve looked at her “Don’t be stubborn Katie.” “Pot kettle.” She mumbled, “I can manage perfectly fine.”

Steve sighed and looked at the Midwife who opened her mouth and Katie shot her a glare.

“Don’t.” she said sternly “I’m fine. Yes, I know the heat can make my blood pressure drop, I’ve done this 3 other times damned it.” Steve let out a growl of frustration as Katie began to shift and he stepped forward to help her. “They’re just doing their job.” “Yeah, well, I want a shower so…”

“Fine, but I’m gonna be right outside.” “Whatever.” Katie grumbled, shutting the door in his face.

He looked at the midwife and gave her an apologetic look.

“It’s perfectly normal.” The woman said gently, “Her moods will be up and down for a while Mr Rogers, especially following the hysterectomy. The main thing is you keep an eye on her.” Steve nodded and headed back to the small living area of the room, flipping on the kettle, his eyes flicking to Flossie as she slept in the basinet. It was about 2 minutes later when he heard a heavy thud from the bathroom. With a slight panic he moved quickly across the room, opened the door and pulled the shower curtain open so fast he tore half off the rings. Katie was sat down, and she looked at him, tears in her eyes. He leaned over, brushing her wet hair out of her eyes and she pressed her forehead against his chest, neither one caring that he was getting soaked.

“Don’t say a word.” Katie shook her head, sniffing “Not one word…” “I wouldn’t dream of it.” Steve said honestly, this was most certainly not an I told you so moment.

“Is she ok?” the midwife asked from the door.

Katie looked up at him, pleading with him, tears of frustration in her eyes and he pulled the trailing shower curtain round her a little more.

“She’s fine…” he said, blocking her from view, “Just dropped the shampoo and can’t bend for it…”

There was a pause before the nurse spoke again “I’ll be in the office if you need anything.”

“Hey…” he said, smoothing her hair back. “It’s ok…”

“You can say I told you so now…” Katie grumbled into his shoulder, blinking back tears of frustration.

“Wouldn’t dream of it…” he said, gently washing the remnants of the soap off her body and from her hair before she handed him the conditioner.

“I feel so stupid…can’t even manage a shower.” she sniffed as he gently massaged it into her hair

“Honey, you had a huge operation yesterday…” he said gently, pressing an affectionate kiss to the top of her head as the water drummed down on them both. “You need to give yourself time.” Once they were done Steve made sure Katie was wrapped in her robe before he stripped out of his soaking clothes and wrapped a towel around his waist. He hovered as Katie made it slowly across the room and once he was happy she was settled on the bed he grabbed himself a change of clothes and dressed before taking his seat in the chair next to the bed.

****

It was later that afternoon when the first visitors arrived, both Steve and Katie beaming as their kids walked into the room with Bucky. As they all shrugged off their jackets and various outer layers, Bucky turned to take Rori’s from her and Steve let out a snort as he spotted something on the back of Bucky’s arm. It was a yellow and black fridge magnet that sported the words ‘Wakanda Forever’ and had been part of the traditional Christmas ale and liquor package T’Challa sent him each year.

Bucky spun to look at him and Steve handed him the magnet, smirking as Bucky shook his head, groaning.

“That’s nothing.” He said, his eyes flicking to Rori who was perched on the bed, peering down at Flossie “I don’t know how you cope with her Steve, she’s a fucking nightmare. Last night she made me sit through Mary Poppins whilst she sang and danced to it in front of the TV, because, apparently, she is much better than the actual actors…” Steve snorted and clapped his hand on Bucky’s shoulder.

“I tell you…” Bucky said, “Give me a base full of Hydra operatives to take down over that Diva any day.”

Once Flossie had been cuddled and held by everyone in the room and they’d had a spot of lunch which turned up later with Jen, the kids and Bucky headed off, Harry almost having another meltdown until Steve, spotting it, crouched down in front of his youngest son and told him to be a brave boy and that he could see his momma the very next day after Nursery. Accepting this, he wiped his tears and gave his parents both a hug. And then it was Rori’s turn, tearfully asking her dad when he would be home.

“Tonight.” Katie said gently “Daddy will be home with you all tonight and then you can come visit tomorrow ok?” And that’s how it went. It was strange for Steve, as for the first time his baby and wife weren’t home the day after they’d been born but that simply wasn’t possible. Katie was recovering well, and the doctors had said that she should be able to head home within the week as predicted originally but still it felt strange. That said, the Rogers house fell into a routine. Steve and Emmy would usher them all out of bed, get them breakfast, then deposit them at either school or nursery before Emmy would head to work and Steve would come to the hospital. Then, he’d collect the kids, bring them to see Katie for a few hours, before he took them home. It was hard, as he wanted to be with Katie all the time, but he knew he had the others to look after too so they managed the best they could.

It didn’t escape him however, how down Katie was. She had a steady stream of visitors with Pepper and Morgan, Jen, Happy and Rhodey all popping in to meet Flossie but he could just see it in her face, she was fed up. By the 5th day she told him she was bored. So they wrapped up and went for a small walk outside, Flossie bundled in a huge, warm baby snug and clutched to Steve’s chest in the baby sling, as they slowly wandered the grounds.

On the Thursday evening, however, at around 8pm, not long after Steve had headed home, there was a little knock on her door and Bucky poked his head into the room. Katie smiled as she looked up from where she had been sat on the sofa reading.

“What are you doing here?”

He held up a bag which Katie recognised instantly as being from Jen’s Coffee Shop. “Jen said before you seemed a little down and you may benefit from some kind of chocolate fix so...”

He handed her the bag and sat down opposite her as Katie peeked inside and groaned as she saw the 6 large, gooey brownies looking at her.

“She was gonna come up herself but her dad’s not so good.” He said and Katie smiled.

“She was here most of the afternoon.” She shook her head “I’ll message her later, tell her thanks.” “How you doing?” Bucky asked, and when she looked at him, he smiled “And tell me honestly, I’m not Steve.” She looked at him, her eyes brimming with tears “I hate it Buck, I just wanna be home.” With a sigh he stood up and moved so he was sat next to her, curling his arm round her as she leaned into him. She began to cry and Bucky gently soothed her as she let all of the emotions she had been feeling over the last few days, but trying to hide, out in a torrent of tears and sobs.

“Not long now.” He soothed, “Steve said before you should be home Sunday at the latest.” “I know it’s just…” she sat up and wiped her eyes “Even when I go home I’ve got weeks of recovery ahead and…” “And you’ll be fine.” Bucky looked at her “You just gotta take it easy for a while, and I know that’s easier said than done with the kids but you got a lot of support. You know that, right?” “I know.” She smiled, before she sighed “Don’t tell Steve about this, please? He’d insist on staying and I don’t want the kids to be without him, they need him as much as I do.” “Promise.” He smiled, before he looked at the bag on the table “Now, how about I put the kettle on and we dig into those.” Katie smiled, before she grinned “My mug is over there.” “Excellent.” Bucky stood up, moving to grab it, before he smirked and looked at her cheekily “I finally, after all these years, get to see what you look like with your mouth wrapped around me.” “James Buchanan Barnes!” Katie gasped, shaking her head as he let out a cheeky laugh, moving to fill the kettle up. “If Steve was here to hear that he’d be ripping your other arm clean off!”

“Like to see him try.” Bucky shrugged, tossing a tea bag into each cup.

And then he was struck with an idea. Oh, and it was good…if he could pull it off…

Reaching for his phone he selected the names of the people he could reach, parking the one he couldn’t for a second and tapped out a simple message. “Avengers, assemble…”

It wasn’t long before the messages to the group chat flooded in and the plan was fixed.

The very next day, it was put into play.

Katie could tell Steve was up to something, they were sat watching the morning TV shows as Flossie lay against Katie’s chest, sleeping, and every so often he would check his watch. But she didn’t say anything, whatever he was up to he clearly wanted it to be a surprise.

And it certainly was when 10 minutes later a familiar faced poked his head through the door.

“How you doing Nova?”

“Oh my god, Clint!” she beamed up at him as he crossed the room, the huge bunch of flowers held out. He placed a kiss to her cheek as Steve stood, shaking his hand and clapping the archer on the back. “How did-“ “I have ways.” He said simply, “So where’s the latest Rogers?”

“And the last.” Katie said as she passed Flossie to Steve who handed him over to Clint so he could give the baby a cuddle.

“Oh she’s gorgeous!” Clint smiled, “Florence right?”

“Yeah, Flossie for short.”

“You did good, Stark.” Kate smiled and then turned as the door opened, the entire space being taken up by the hulking frame of Banner as he stooped to step into the room.

“Hey guys.” He smiled, and Katie stood up and made her way over to him. He gave her a gentle hug before she pulled back.

“It’s so good to see you both.” She beamed.

But before she could say anything else there was suddenly a loud commotion outside the room, and a very familiar voice boomed down the corridor. Katie felt her mouth drop open as she spun to Steve.

“You…”

Steve smiled and nodded.

“Thank you for your assistance Lady Doctor…” the voiced travelled towards them and the door opened again and the familiar face of the God of Thunder beamed around at them.

“Friends…” he beamed, his eyes flashing as he stepped into the room “It has been too long.” Katie felt her eyes misting up as Thor crossed the room towards her, his hand dropping to the side of her neck in that affectionate way it always had “Hey Thunder God.” She sniffed.

“Little Stark.” He smiled, his face creased with emotion “I hear you have given birth to another…” “Yeah, she’s…” Katie smiled, nodding to where Flossie was now back in Steve’s arms, Banner examining her. “She’s beautiful.” “I expect nothing else from a Little, Little Stark.” Thor beamed as he crossed the room to examine the baby. “What name have you given to her?” “Florence Saoirse.” Katie smiled “Flossie for short.”

“Flossie…I like it!” Thor grinned as he looked down at the baby.

“Yes, Valkyrie managed to contact me.” Thor said “I was in the middle of a very tense game of Quadroblin with a man on Contraxia that Rabbit had roped me into. I was very glad of the excuse to escape.” Clint, Steve, Banner and Katie exchanged a glance before they looked at Thor.

“You have never heard of Quadroblin?” Thor asked.

“No.” Clint arched an eyebrow.

“It is a very simple game, it involves 4 dice and various body parts…” “Yeah, ok, we don’t need to know.” Katie cut him off as she walked over to where Steve was stood. He dropped an arm round her shoulder and kissed her head. “Can you help me sit down?” she whispered to him and he nodded.

“Of course baby.” He said gently. As the 2 of them made their way over to the sofa, Banner and Clint were talking furiously, catching up as they hadn’t seen each other for over 2 years since they had visited post Harry’s birth. Thor was busy, now mumbling something to Flossie and Katie recognised the look on his face as being the same one he had adopted when he had held Jamie, Rori and Harry for the first time. He was giving Flossie an ancient Asgardian Blessing. His eyes were glowing with lightning fire as he held his hand gently over her forehead, his lips moving softly.

“Hey, Thor.” Katie spoke when he had finished and he looked at her, his eyes returning to their piercing blue. “You know, there’s a vacancy for Godfather if you want it. I mean Jamie has Banner and Rhodey, Rori has Bucky and Sam, Harry has Clint…Flossie doesn’t have anyone yet.” Steve squeezed Katie’s shoulder, smiling “And who better than the actual God of Thunder?” he looked up at Thor, smiling.

Thor beamed, his eyes filling with tears as he glanced down at the baby in his arms. “I would be honoured.”

“Does this mean she will be worthy?” Clint asked, flopping down onto the arm of the sofa and Thor looked at him. “To wield your hammer I mean?”

Thor chuckled “It doesn’t work like that. The hammer makes its own decisions and it can also change its mind.”

“It’s a hammer.” Clint deadpanned “Made of metal. It’s an inanimate object…” “No, no, Barton, it is much more than that. It has feelings…” “Whatever man, it’s a hammer. How can it have feelings?”

“It deems you worthy at a certain point in time so you may lift it. It could therefore deem you unworthy as well at a future point.” Thor shrugged, matter of factly.

“I still think it’s a trick…” Clint rolled his eyes and Thor snorted, looking down at Flossie.

“If it was a trick then explain why the Captain was able to not only lift it but use it to summons the lightning that day during the Final Battle?”

Everyone fell silent and looked at Steve how gave a modest shrug. “You still summons it Cap?” Bruce looked at Steve who held his hands up, snorting.

“I haven’t tried, and I have no intention of trying ever again.”

He winked at Katie who smiled at him, before she lay her head on his shoulder and looked around the room which was full of 5 of the original 7 Avengers. 2 of their number no longer with them, but not really gone, especially as the chat inevitably turned to discussions of their Avengers days, memories being recalled, tears of laughter and sadness being shared.

Eventually it was getting a little late in the afternoon and Steve knew Bucky would be arriving with the kids and having a room full would be simply too much to cope with. Thankfully, Clint could read the signs well enough with having 3 kids of his own and stood up, announcing he should be going. Thor and Banner followed suit and after some emotional goodbyes they waved their friends out, listening to Barton and Thor’s good natured bickering as they left, the room falling silent and feeling slightly empty.

“Thank you.” Katie looked up at Steve and he turned to her, smiling.

“Well it occurred to me last night that this was the hardest mission I think we’ve ever run.” He said softly, “Thought it was only right that the 5 of us came together.” “I wish it were still 7.” Katie said softly, peering down at Flossie who lay in her arms.

“I know.” Steve said softly, sitting next to her, curling an arm round her shoulder.

The pair of them gazed down at their daughter, smiling softly as she moved her tiny fist, pressing it against her cheek.

Steve knew the answer to Barton’s question. As far as he was concerned she was worthy, just like the woman that gave birth to her.

#stark spangled forever #steve rogers #katie stark #steve rogers x original female character #steve rogers x oc

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oboevallis · 4 years ago

Note

Can you write a story where Amelia is still pregnant and she is really craving donuts and she tells Link and he gets them for her but when he comes home to give it to her she’s sad maybe because she lost a patient at work or something and then they talk and in the end he basically says that there is nothing donuts can’t solve (sorry if that’s cheesy haha)

shy pt 2

hey! i hope everyone had a happy and safe holiday. this is in my unexpected series and i hope it’s okay i incorporated this prompt into it. if you want me to write it in canon just let me know! and this is based off of a true story of how i made my first friend, and we’ve now been besties for 8 years

“Addie you need to let me unbuckle your seat belt.” Amelia told her daughter, worried she was about to make a scene in front of this kids house.

“Please don’t make me go mommy.” She begged tears starting to form in her eyes.

“It’ll be fun.” Scout interjected starting to get impatient, he really wanted to go play race cars with his friend. “Come on Addie, I want to go play.”

“Yeah, it’ll be a ton of fun. And Scout will be there the whole time.” Amelia tried to convince her daughter, reaching to unbuckle her daughters seatbelt.

“NO, I DONT WANT TO GO.” Amelia wanted to throw a tantrum along with her daughter at this point.

“Fine.” Amelia sighed giving up, and walking her son to the door.

“Hey Scout!” Levi, the boys friend, excitedly greeted. “Ready to play?”

“Yep.” Scout smiled walking in the house and running up the stairs with his friend.

“Is Addie joining us today?” Levi’s mother asked.

“I don’t think so.” Amelia sighed looking back to her car.

“I get it, Levi had difficulty making friends and he still has a bit of trouble. Now he has a couple of great friends though, you know quality not quantity.”

“Yeah. Thank you so much, for having Scout over.

“Of course! Scouts always a pleasure to have.”

_______________________________________

“How’d your surgery go?” Link asked as his wife walked through the front door.

“It was okay, the patients stable.” Amelia said whilst kicking off her shoes by the door.

“That’s good, I’m glad.”

“No your pissed at me. Because I didn’t drop her off at that play date.”

“I’m not mad, but we agreed she was going to that play date. So imagine my surprise when I realized she was at the hospitals day care.”

“She just didn’t want to go.” Amelia sighed, walking over to her husband wrapping her arms around him as much as her pregnant belly allowed.

“How about you go to bed and I’ll meet you upstairs in about a half hour.” Link sighed, knowing this conversation wasn’t going to go anywhere pretty unless donuts were involved.

“Half hour?” Amelia asked confused, as Link picked up his keys and headed for the door.

“ I’ll be back, so I’ll just meet you upstairs.” Amelia sighed and walked up the stairs to go shower and get comfortable. She laid down in their bed and flipped through the book next to her bed mindlessly. Until she heard their bedroom door open.

“Hey, I’m home.” Link whispered as he walked into their bedroom holding a box.

“Atticus Lincoln, did you get donuts?” Amelia gasped sitting up. “For me?”

“Of course, I wouldn’t go out in the middle of the night to get donuts for just anyone.” Link jumped on the bed passing the box to her.

“These are so good.” The neurosurgeon smiled as she shoved one in her mouth.

“Okay, so talk. Have all your feelings.” Link ordered while splitting a donut in half.

“I’m just worried for her, I just want her to talk to people.”

“Me too.”

“I just want to force her to make friends, I know that’s terrible but I just want her to be okay.”

“I know.” Link agreed offering half of his donut to his wife. “So shouldn’t she stay in soccer then? Shouldn’t she go to play dates? We can’t keep her from doing everything that’s slightly uncomfortable.”

“It’s not “slightly” uncomfortable for her. It’s hell.”

“She needs to be put in situations that are uncomfortable for her.”

“Not to the extent where she’s bawling her eyes out, and screaming.”

“She’s gotta do something.”

“I’m not making her do anything that makes her upset.”

“I know your just trying to protect her, but you can’t coddle her.”

“I’m not coddling her.” Amelia defensively said.

“Whatever.” Link sighed reaching for another donut.

“Yeah, whatever Link.” Amelia grabbed the box out of her husbands reach. Link turned around facing away from his wife.

“Good night.” Link whispered before he fell asleep.

________________________________________

“Mommy can we go to the library today? I need to return a book and get a new one.” Scout told his mother as he walked into her study.

“Umm.” Amelia looked down at her watch. “Yeah we have time I don’t have to go to work till tonight.”

“Yay!” The kid cheered.

“Alrighty then, can you go get your sister and meet me in the car.” Her son nodded are ran off to find his sister, while Amelia made her way to her car. She wanted a few moments of peace. She was still upset with her husbands accusations of her coddling their daughter.

“We’re ready.” Scout exclaimed as he jumped into the car.

“Coolio, need help with your seatbelt Addie?”

“Nope.” Addie smiled looking at her mother through the rear view mirror.

“Sweet, we’re ready to go then. Do you know what book you want to check out?”

“Not really sure, probably a book on baseball. I’ll see what’s interesting.” Amelia rolled her eyes, she hated that her son was so obsessed with baseball. It scared her that her son could get hurt while playing the game he loved so much. “Do you want to check out a book Addie?”

“Maybe.” Addison told her brother while she swung her feet back and forth lightly kicking her mother’s seat.

“Finally we’re here.” Scout exclaimed as his mother parked the car. The three walked into the library together and Scout and his sister ran off to the children’s section while their mother walked through the aisles to see if anything sparked her interest.

“Addie can you go do something? Your bothering me.” Scout complained as his sister tried to read over his shoulder.

“Fine.” The girl sighed, and walked over to the opposite side of the bookshelf. She was about to pick up a book about penguins, until someone picked it up before her.

“Oh, I’m sorry, here.” The boy who seemed to be about her age held the book out for her to grab, she shook her head no and was about to walk away. “No come back. Do you like penguins?”

“Yes.”

“Me too!” The kid excitedly said. “I’ve read this book a lot of times before, have you?”

Addison shook her head no.

“You should read it then, it’s very neat.” He passed the book over to her, and she allowed him.

“I’m Benny. What’s your name?”

“Addison.”

“This book is really cool, but I know where the more detailed penguin books are, if you want to see?”

“Sure.” Addie wearily smiled, and followed the boy to the opposite side of the library where the non fiction section was. He sat down in front of the book shelf and pulled down a heavy book.

“This book goes more into detail about the penguin. Like did you know that the penguin is actually called the spheniscidae in the science world?”

“No.” Addie shook her head, intrigued and looked over his shoulder to get a better look at the book.

“You should start with that book first.” He pointed to the book she held in her hand. “And then go onto this book. There are a lot of words I don’t even know in here. My dad has to help me.”

“Have you ever seen a penguin?” Addison asked, this kid seemed to know a lot about penguins and she was curious to as why.

“No, only at the zoo. When I grow up I want to move to Antarctica and hang out with the penguins.”

“Sounds cold.” The girl joked causing the boy to laugh.

“Your in Mrs Crabtree’s class right?” Addison was shocked to find out he knew which teacher she had.

“Yes. How do you know that?”

“I’m in Ms Bunson’s class we go to recess at the same time as you guys. You never play though. You should play with me!”

“Maybe.” Addie smiled.

“Oh! I can bring my penguin coloring sheets and crayons out! It’s a lot of fun to color them, because you don’t have to follow how they actually look.” The boy ranted excitedly, realizing he had made a friend with the same passion for penguins.

“Coloring is fun.” The girl nodded in agreement.

“Sweet! I’ll see you at recess tomorrow!” The kid said cheerfully as he walked away. Addison then looked over to see her mother and brother in the line for check out and went over to them. She put the book into her mother’s hand signifying she wanted to check it out.

“Of course it’s penguins.” Amelia chuckled it seemed to be her daughters favorite thing at the moment.

“Yep!”

“I got one on baseball.” Scout told his sister. “Hopefully I can play over the summer.”

“We’ll see.” His mother said as she stepped up to the checkout desk to check out their books.

“I’m sure dad will be excited to read this with me.” Scout said once his mother handed him back the book. The three then walked towards the exit where there were some reading chairs.

“Bye Addison.” Benny waved as he sat on the couch looking up from his book.

“Bye Benny.” The girl responded waving back.

“Who’s that?” Amelia asked calmly, even though she was internally cheering.

“My friend. He showed me a cool penguin book today.”

“That’s really great.” Amelia smiled as she buckled her daughter into her car seat.

________________________________________

“Link!” Amelia gasped once she spotted him at the nurses station. “Guess what?”

“What?” Link asked still irritated from their conversation last night.

“She did it! She made a friend! At the library today?”

“Actually?”

“Actually!” Link laughed and hugged his wife as much as her bump allowed.

“This is amazing!”

“I’m so happy. And relieved.”

“I know me too.” Link smiled looking at his wife lovingly. “We should bring donuts home to celebrate.”

“We had donuts last night.” Amelia reminded whilst giggling

“The kids don’t know that.” Link smirked wrapping his arm around her.

#amelia shepherd #amelink #atticus lincoln #baby amelink #greys anatomy #greys fanfic #greys anatomy fanfic #addison lincoln #scout lincoln

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thronesofshadows · 4 years ago

Text

Salt Bridges (pt. 2) || Nicole & Evelyn

TIMING: A couple weeks before Christmas, right after this LOCATION: The Artesian PARTIES: @nicsalazar and @thronesofshadows SUMMARY: Shared honesty can be scary but sometimes, just sometimes, it turns out alright. CONTENT: Mentions of parental death

“Oh, shit. So— this is...it’s pretty”. It was an understatement, but Nicole wasn’t sure how else to put it. If she had felt uncomfortable at Al’s, being inside Evelyn’s bar was on a different level. She was rarely seen in the East End, and there was a reason for that. She didn’t belong, the luxurious beach houses on the way to the bar were a cold reminder of that. But Evelyn had wanted her company. It was another, more hopeful reminder. She obviously didn’t care if she wasn’t refined enough. She looked around, admiring the decoration inside. No wonder the woman spoke with so much pride about it. She swung a paper bag in her hands, lips pressed into a line. She had brought her food—she was technically still hungry— but she wasn’t sure she’d want to unpack the greasy diner meal anymore. “You…how—” she glanced at Evelyn then, partly waiting for instructions, partly trying to check on her after everything that happened at the diner. Her bar, on the other hand, appeared empty, safe. No salt shakers in sight. There was no reason for things not to significantly improve throughout the evening. “You okay, right? I can still leave if— wouldn’t hurt my feelings” the corner of her mouth curved into a grin, her bag bouncing again.

Evelyn couldn’t help but grin as they’d arrived at the bar and made their way inside. She had a good deal of confidence in her bar, but she always enjoyed seeing people’s reactions to it, and knowing that yes, she had done a good job of it. Besides, even after everything at the diner, Nicole still wanted to be around her, she hadn’t bowed out with some sort of excuse and Evelyn highly doubted that she was a hunter. She seemed human and if anything, she’d seemed alarmed by the salt as well. Nicole wasn’t a ghost, though - for one, others could see her, and for another, despite how much she’d longed for that sort of ability, she knew that was one that her species lacked. (Though, she was once again reminded of what Deirdre and Nadia had told her, she supposed that she wasn’t really missing much). “You can sit wherever you please, though might I recommend at the bar? That way we do not have to yell in order to speak while I get you a drink.” She twisted her lips around at Nicole’s question. “I am quite alright, yes - and no, please stay. I - I want you to stay, okay?” She looked over to her. “Besides, if you have more questions or anything, we are alone now and therefore I am more able to answer.”

Nicole turned, eyes landing on the bar. Of course. “Right...that’d be—don’t know what I was waiting for”. It was less intimidating than the rest of the lounge, but she still had a nagging thought that even the napkins were worth more than anything she owned. “Okay” she said quietly, once Evelyn confirmed she was fine. “I do— I have a lot of questions, I don’t know if...” she hesitated before walking over to the bar. She didn’t know where the line was drawn when it came to questions. Maybe some could wait until both had alcohol in their systems. Though, that raised another question: If food didn’t do much for her, could Evelyn get drunk then? She leaned half of her body against the chair — afraid to touch it too much— and rested her elbows on the counter, eyeing the bottles behind with a childlike smile. She didn’t dare to get her paper bag anywhere near the counter, placing it on the next chair instead. “Just so you know, I’ll drink anything you recommend” she trusted Evelyn’s judgment. Selecting one of the dozens of questions she had in mind was not an easy task. She watched Evelyn in silence, studying her while she decided on one. The beginning, she figured. The moment that shaped people like her or Evelyn differently than humans. “How did you know? That you were...”

“I mean, normally I have staff in the front telling people where to go, so it is not an issue. I know this can be a lot to take in.” Evelyn shrugged. “All the more reason for you to just come by when it is not open, because trust me, some of my clientele are…” Jerks. Over-entitled, which is really saying something. “Well, I think that they are not everyone’s first choice of person to spend time with. Truthfully, they are not my first choice, but they pay well and I - well, if any of them especially bother me I have fed on them. Not in the bar, but later. Trust me when I say that they absolutely deserved it. Deserve, even.” Perhaps this wasn’t the most appropriate bit of conversation to continue with, but it was true, and though revealing everything about herself to anyone felt uncomfortable and unnatural, but she’d already told some things to Nicole, and she certainly didn’t regret what she’d done to feed on some of her patrons. “You can ask whatever you wish. Should it be something I do not want to answer, I will not.” She nodded. “Do you like tequila? Somehow you do not strike me as someone who drinks wine, and I have some tequila that I like to send to a friend,” Nadia, “but I keep a stock of it myself, too.” She pulled her hair up into a ponytail. “Or anything else, whatever suits your fancy. I do have imported beer somewhere, if you want that.” She was pleased when Nicole finally settled on a question. “Not human? Well, I got trapped by salt when I was a kid and watching one of my chefs cook, that was something… knew that some of my physiology is a bit odd - always had to see a special doctor. Found my mother’s journals when I was ten and broke into my father’s home office. That pretty much confirmed it all.”

“Oh—” Nicole raised her eyebrows, surprised by Evelyn’s honesty to discuss feeding habits. Even the word feeding felt strange still, but she wanted to roll with it. She remained quiet, trying to process how it made her feel. She found that she didn’t mind it. If Evelyn had to feed to stay alive, she couldn’t see the flaw in picking deplorable people to do so. She figured it was the only alternative. “Can’t judge that”, she nodded simply. “Hey! I...I could be a wine person, you don’t know that”, she scoffed, but couldn't wipe the grin off her face. Evelyn wasn’t wrong, technically. She was predictable and boring when it came to alcohol. She didn't drink because she liked it, but for what it offered. A chance to be free of her mental prison for a couple hours. How it tasted had never mattered. She couldn't think of a single drink she’d order just for the sake of enjoying it. “I’ll take the wine. Gonna switch it up, I’m never drinking anywhere fancier than this”. Evelyn’s story sounded horrifying, and what had happened earlier in the diner punched her in the stomach again. She glanced down at the countertop, almost hoping to find the right words there. “Shit, I’m sorry—” her forehead wrinkled with concern, “couldn’t be easy”. She tried to recall previous mentions of Evelyn’s mother, but she was blanking. “I’m not sure I’m following. Your mom, she’s...like you?”

Perhaps she was being a bit too blunt and forthcoming with all that she was saying, but at the same time, Evelyn felt safe around Nicole, and at least so far there hadn’t been any sort of judgement (at least not that she could tell). The eyebrow raising gave her a moment of pause, but any would-be anxieties went away as she saw Nicole was grinning. “I mean, sure, you could be, but I like to think I can get a read on people in that way if nothing else. No judgement, if you have met enough people who love wine you will soon find that some of them can be incredible snobs. Not all - I have a friend,” Jasmine, “who knows her way around wine quite well and is not obnoxious, but some people who come in here very much are.” At Nicole’s next comment she shrugged. “Alright, I’ll find something good. You would be correct, at least not within a good number of miles around here.” She turned for a moment, grabbing a bottle of wine - Musigny Grand Cru - one of the nicest ones she had, because Nicole certainly deserved that. “It is fine, I have grown to manage now. Plus, you know, I was a bit of a spoiled child so it is not as though my throwing a tantrum was entirely… well, not entirely unexpected.” She finished pouring the wine into two glasses and brought them over to Nicole. “Yes. She was a mara, like myself. My father is very human. Did not love having a daughter who was not human, and so made me pretend to be human for much of my life. It is why I ran away and found this place. I - well, there are others like me and others who are not human in other ways too.” She took a sip of her wine. “I am quite terribly sorry if this is too much to process right now.”

Nicole forced a smile, eyes finding the counter. Her fingers began to drum again. It was unnerving, to realize someone could give a correct assessment about her so shortly after meeting her. To be known, to be “read”. She pushed past the feeling, standing her ground against the alarms going off in her brain. It was okay. A fun, harmless comment. Social interactions shouldn’t activate her flight or fight response. She exhaled, and it was over. “You’re a wine snob too, or just take advantage of them?” she gave a one shoulder shrug, willing herself back into the conversation. She watched Evelyn pour the wine with furrowed brows. She admired her ability to minimize traumatic situations, but part of her wondered if it was just a way of coping. Being a spoiled kid didn’t justify anything she had to endure. She figured Evelyn had come to realize that. Or she hoped someone had told her, at least. “So, do I do the whole…” with the glass in hand, she motioned small circles, a teasing smile on her lips before bringing the glass closer to her nose. Snobbery aside, she did always smell things before tasting them. The mix of aromas prickled her nose. It was intense. Maybe in another —better— life, her senses could’ve been useful. Her mouth went dry after taking a sip. “It’s not... bad. You like it?”.

She fell quiet then, replaying Evelyn’s words for better understanding. Nicole found that pauses didn’t feel so terrifying right now. “No— no, it’s not. Eh— okay yes, it’s...I’ll get there” it was better to be honest. “I think everything is too much to process for me, honestly”. For a brief moment, there was an opening. When Evelyn mentioned other non-humans, she considered weighing in. Sharing. Like she had tried at the diner. But the words never reached her mouth. ”How did he— he didn’t know your mom...” she shook her head in disbelief. Despite having money, none of Evelyn’s upbringing sounded positive. “I’m glad you got away”.

“Would you think me quite terrible if I said I might be both?” Evelyn raised an eyebrow. It was true - though the idea of being defined by her taste in alcohol was not something she ever would have imagined her life turning into, but there were a good number of things that she never would have expected. “Only the ones who deserve it. If I find pleasure in the company of someone who likes wine, then I will only converse, nothing more.” The fact that she could be so blunt (or at least nearly as blunt and open as she found herself) with Nicole still unnerved her, but even if the other woman was entirely human, she was also someone who Evelyn felt comfortable around. “You can if you wish,” she watched Nicole swirl her glass around, watched her take a sip. “I do, but truly, if you do not, you can say so. No offense will be had on my part.” She took a sip of her wine as she watched Nicole carefully. Gently, even - though that was not an adjective she normally would have attributed to herself.

“I can understand that. For what it is worth, you are still handling it better than some.” You have yet to run out on me, which is always a positive. Evelyn looked down at her hands for a moment, not wanting to overwhelm Nicole. “He met her after one of her performances with the ballet. Asked her out, she consented, he did not know until she was due to have me and was planning to divorce her once I was born, except she died when I was only a couple of days over and I suppose that abandoning your child does not sit well with the noble classes, and so he raised me.” She ran a hand through her hair. “Thank you - he meant well, I think, but I am glad to be away from that life.”

“No—” Nicole replied slowly, but paused for a moment to ponder on the question. She didn’t think she cared too much what people chose to do with their money, and if Evelyn and others found pleasure and enjoyment in expensive wine, then it was their prerogative. “I drink cheap beer, I’ve no room to judge” she laughed, busying herself with her fancy wine again. She took a gulp, probably bigger than she should’ve, before humming a rebuttal. “Will keep that in mind, but I think I’m warming up to it— gonna be an expert by the time we’re done with the bottle” she examined the glass again, lighthearted laugh turning nervous when Evelyn mentioned her positive response to the information. She had to bite the inside of her cheek. “No, guess I haven’t and, I’m pretty good at running”. Of course, she had the advantage of not being human. Not many people out there shared her nature. She could interject, explain why she understood better than most. Repay some of Evelyn’s trust and honesty. Out with it. I get it, I’m not human either. Easy. Concise. Let someone else carry the weight of the words. She clicked her tongue, frustrated. Breaking a ten year deadlock on her secret turned out, was not that easy.

Nicole clenched her jaw after Evelyn continued to explain her background. “I’m—” she breathed out, shaking her head. “I’m—” sorry didn’t cover it. Sorry wouldn't work. Because Evelyn seemed to shrug off incredible painful moments with an ease that was terrifying at times. Did she feed on her own fear and she had nothing more to be afraid of? She looked at her, frowning. She wanted to understand. She had never wanted to be in somebody’s mind before. “Parents can mean well— but we deal with the aftermath” with the mess they make. She tilted her glass, finishing the content with a swift motion.

“You are more than welcome to judge,” Evelyn raised an eyebrow. “Though I am rather pleased that you do not think me quite so terrible.” She wasn’t sure what she would have done, were that the case - namely because she was so unaccustomed to caring for others and in doing so, she found that she truly cared for what others thought. Didn’t want them to hate her, or find her off-putting. Because she’d seen that in the eyes of too many, back home. When she stared for just a little too long, or talked about something that her father had said she should not talk about. “Though I think that I like the sound of you being an expert,” she trailed her fingers along the bar top. “I can help with that, thankfully.” She took another sip of her wine, grateful that at least it still tasted like something to her, grateful that it was somehow more satisfying than most human food. “Of course.” Of course. Her head felt light for a moment, before she re-focused back on Nicole.

“We do.” Evelyn held the words on her tongue. Though she had met many more people since moving here who told her how wrong her father’s beliefs had been. Both those who knew the full extent of it as well as those who only knew the surface. Know that my father did not understand me, wanted me to be different. She assumed that most of them figured it had to do with her sexuality or something that, while important and likely something else Lord Robert would not have approved of, only truly brushed the surface. “Thank you, I - telling you means a lot, and I do not mean this in a way of asking you to take on all of this for me.” She let her lips curve up into a soft smile, a kind one. Since when was she kind?

Nicole laughed, “yeah, not too terrible”. She focused briefly on Evelyn’s, gaze traveling behind the counter, to the wine. She silently asked permission for another glass. She knew chugging the wine as if it were beer was a terrible idea. Especially on an empty stomach. She eyed her food briefly considering it, but too embarrassed to grab it. Maybe she’d slow down before the wine crept up on her. On the other hand, she did plan on finishing the bottle. It would be okay, she had good tolerance. She let out a bitter sigh, glancing down. Without all the details, she could still relate to Evelyn’s story. How much of her life was really hers and how much was the consequences of her parents’ decisions? She let everything dawn on her.

Somehow Evelyn had trusted her enough to open up. She could’ve excused herself after the salt incident. Come up with lies and leave it there, yet she didn’t. And now Nicole carried part of her story, just like she had begun to carry Solomon’s. Was that what friends did— lighten eachother’s weights? She realized she didn’t mind picking up the load for somebody else. She only briefly glanced at Evelyn, too self conscious, too aware of everything at the moment to accept her kind smile. “Don’t need to—guess that’s what…” she furrowed her eyebrows. What was a good way of saying she appreciated the trust without assumptions? "Can I—" No. She shook her head. She offered no follow up, bringing the newly poured glass to her lips. She stopped before drinking, laying back. She let out a nervous laugh. Maybe she could try and finish a sentence. "I should— there's something I want you to—” No. She couldn't do it. She had been close enough, just thinking about it was new for her. Maybe another day. “I understand. It’s okay. Guessing...not many know?"

She’d made someone laugh. Properly, actually laugh. The thought of that made Evelyn’s lips curve up and into a smile, though she still caught Nicole’s gaze, looking behind her, at the bottle of wine on display. Evelyn turned around for a moment and grabbed the bottle that had been opened before, “unless you would like to try another sort?” She held it up, raising an eyebrow. “Either way is good, many of my patrons can absolutely without-a-doubt be persuaded to finish this off. So really, your choice.”

She still wasn't entirely sure why Nicole was someone who she’d decided to open up to so much. Even Shiloh only knew the bare minimum - and Miriam knew a bit more, because she wasn’t human - but here Nicole was, human and everything, and Evelyn couldn’t remember the last time she’d been so open. So unafraid (outside of her natural abilities) to just talk about herself. “It is quite alright, I know that I am the more talkative of us two.” Especially now. She poured a glass of wine then, still the first bottle - just for now, to give the two of them something to focus on, “if you want to try something else after, just let me know.” She took a sip of her own wine. “You want me to what?” She looked quizzically at Nicole. “However, you are correct - not many know. It - well, some respond without kindness, and if certain groups know, it can put me in danger. Not to put a damper on our evening, but it is the truth of the world.” One I still wish I did not know about.

Her negative was silent, only shaking her head as Evelyn suggested a different drink. Nicole didn’t want that. She gave a pointed look at the open bottle, before she focused on the woman. She smiled coyly, patiently waiting for the refill. “Not changing my mind. I can be stubborn too”. She could only nod when Evelyn pointed out the fact that wasn’t the most talkative. It was the truth. She didn’t know how to let her know she appreciated her patience. She drank instead, this time more calmly. She could savor it, she supposed. It didn’t come as a surprise that not many knew about Evelyn’s nature, of course. She didn’t think anyone walked the town telling others about what they were for fun. “Right. Pretty shitty world”, despite not being the intention, her words did change the atmosphere. They were always going to be in danger just for existing.

“Uh— I want you to...” Nicole repeated, letting out a nervous sigh. “There’s something you should know about—” she tilted her head, almost wishing her next words would find each other in her brain. No, Evelyn shouldn’t know. Telling her wasn’t meant to be a warning. If she stayed quiet nothing would change between them. It wasn’t about what she should or shouldn’t do. “Something I need— want to tell you” she hesitated again between buying herself time with her glass or speaking out. She clenched her jaw, lifting her head to meet Evelyn’s gaze. She pleaded for her to read her mind, somehow. To pick up on the clues written all over her face, and put her out of her misery. “About… about— ”. The way her heart began to hammer in her chest loud enough that she could hear it told her the words inched closer. The truth was on the tip of her tongue. Sharing always gave her the most uncomfortable adrenaline rush. “I’m—”.

Evelyn nodded. She hadn’t expected for Nicole to wish for her to open another bottle - she felt as though Nicole would be very much the sort to not wish to waste anything - but the hostess side of her begged for her to at least offer that. She couldn’t entirely ignore it all. “Well, perhaps this is part of why I so enjoy your company.” She knew that there were more reasons, but it was still easier, sometimes, to only go surface-level. At least for now, even though she knew that Nicole’s friendship meant more to her than that. Even if she couldn’t quite always voice it. “It can be.” Given the dangers she had discovered more about in recent years, it truly could be. She didn’t like to think of things that way - in part because coming to White Crest was supposed to be a new (and safer) beginning for her. Not one where she’d ended up having to fear for her life. She’d never wished to go back to her life in England, but there were certainly parts of the life she’d created here that she could do without.

“Yes?” Nicole’s body language shifted - and she appeared far more nervous than usual - which made Evelyn raise an eyebrow. “You want to tell me something. Right?” This was who she was - even though she knew she’d turned out to not be the loudest person in the room, but she also knew that she could be matter-of-fact if need be. “It is okay, whatever you need to tell me.” If she was a hunter, she’d have to deal with that. “I’m hardly in a place to judge you, now am I?”

Nicole merely chuckled at the comment, fighting the urge to drop some self-deprecating jab. Evelyn liked her company, even if she didn’t understand why. She had to deal with it. Letting out a dejected hum, she considered her wine again. The depressing state of the world was reason enough to drown her sorrows in that glass, no? “It can be” she repeated. And yet, despite the constant danger the town offered, she had started to consider it home. She couldn’t picture herself anywhere else anymore. She had to be some sort of masochist.

Nicole nodded in confirmation, bracing herself. Just the thought of opening her mouth, made her heart jump into her throat. “I’m—” She looked up to the ceiling, worrying her bottom lip between her teeth. It would be okay. There was no reason for Evelyn to react negatively. Especially not after what she learned earlier. Finding anyone better equipped to understand would be a hard task. But it wasn’t just sharing a part of herself that terrified her. It all came down to admitting things to herself in the process. If it was okay for Evelyn to be Mara, did the same apply for her? Was it alright for her to be— That? Almost a decade had passed since she used the right word. “I understand you better than— I’’m not—” channeling her own frustration, she clenched her fist as tight as she could. “I’m not...human”. She was sure she couldn’t breathe properly. She couldn’t look at Evelyn in the eye either. There was no moment of clarity after she spoke. No weight lifted off her shoulders or emotional release. Just confusion throbbing in her throat, fear stinging her eyes. She anticipated the first question she assumed Evelyn would have, opening her mouth before she could take her words back or run away from the bar. Before she turned into a coward again. “I’m—” she gripped the countertop, maybe she could write it somewhere. “I...I can turn— shift— I’m...I shapeshift. Animal— I turn into one”.

She took another sip as Nicole repeated her words, not choosing to add on to that - for now. It didn’t need to be repeated a third time, that much she knew. Except she’d found Nicole’s repetition comforting, in its own sort of way. Evelyn took another sort of sip - she’d never truly considered leaving town in the few years that she’d lived there, but there had been a moment of overwhelming, wondering if it was all too much, especially after everything with Melanie.

Evelyn did her best to hold her posture steady, to not react - because Nicole was telling her something clearly important. Important, and as the words began, Evelyn felt a wave of relief wash over her. She focused in on the word understand, but quickly shook that thought out of her mind because she didn’t want to miss anything that Nicole was saying. Nicole, who was usually so careful with her words, but who was now seemingly nervous made Evelyn feel bad, for a moment. She hadn’t wanted to force her into any of this, but she also wanted to be there for her however she could, be someone who people could tell things to. Since when are you like this? She asked herself, memories of actively ignoring others from when she was a child up through when she was a teenager at least. Because none of them really mattered - they were all far too human to matter beyond understanding how to blend in. Not human. In lieu of a smile, Evelyn sucked in her lower lip. Like a werewolf? She wondered, for a moment. Let Nicole’s words settle between them before she nodded. Finally allowed a smile to cover her face - though it was small, gentle, as welcoming as she was able. “Nicole, thank you for sharing that with me. If I may - I do find that to be quite extraordinary. If I also may, might I ask if there is a name for what you are? I only ask because I am not aware of all too many beings - and I do not want to assume the wrong thing.”

Many times Nicole heard that sharing worked for people. Getting things out. It was supposed to be therapeutic or cathartic or whatever. But everytime she dared to mention something about herself other than what she considered safe and superficial, a deeply uncomfortable sensation sat in the pit of her stomach. She wasn’t sure why, but it certainly didn’t tempt her to do it often. She unclenched her fist, but her breathing remained shallow. Her heart was the loudest thing in the room, as Evelyn granted them some silence. She gave her one shy look, to ensure things had gone okay. She was smiling and it almost made her want to smile back at her. She didn’t remember how.

Her gaze stayed low when Evelyn thanked her, guilt gnawing at her. A bitter laugh caught in her throat at the word extraordinary. It sounded familiar, yet distant. Too many years had passed since she last heard her family boast about themselves. Since they would lecture her about their lineage, their culture, and everything she used to roll her eyes at. Evelyn’s tone was different, however. Gentle. It didn’t feel earned, but she wasn’t gonna contradict her. “A-a name?”. Nicole took a shaky breath through her mouth, eyes brimming with unshed tears after she heard the woman’s question. A name. She shook her head curtly, not because she was refusing, but because she didn’t think she’d be able to answer. Even in her thoughts she worked around that word. Twisting sentences and meanings just to evade it. Saying it was heavier. More meaningful. She had no means to untangle that word from her most painful memories. From everything that cost her. Family, friends, love. Her chance to grow into adulthood like a normal teenager. Being that thing took everything from her. Ripped her apart. And she was still trying —and failing— to pick up the pieces ten years later.

“Uh—” The chance of changing all that was there, even if Nicole couldn’t consciously grasp it. Evelyn didn’t have to know how much it hurt. Not now. She only wanted a name. A small request. Yet in her curiosity, she was unknowingly helping her unlock a door she had never been able to open by herself. She just had to be brave enough to cross the threshold. “Balam...” her body tensed and for the first time, she understood what heartache really meant. Her chest tightened, but she managed to keep the tears in. She was proud of that, at least. “Means...it means jaguar”.

She hoped that she didn’t come off as cold to Nicole. Evelyn knew that she could be that way, sometimes. The newspapers back home had reveled in it - though if she thought about it enough now, she became more acutely aware that it was more due to remaining only in her home rather than being allowed to go out into the world. Though she liked to think that she understood humans at least well enough, she also knew that being given everything material that she could have wished for did lead her to be spoiled, and to perhaps look down upon others. She knew that she certainly didn’t feel that way with Nicole, and so she could only hope that the other woman didn’t think she was anything but at least somewhat warm. At least enough to not make Nicole regret choosing to share this with her.

Perhaps asking more specifically had been too much, but Evelyn was also not about to back down now. If Nicole knew, then Evelyn wanted to know. Wanted to understand more beyond the basics that she had. Beyond what she was and only a bit else. Finally knowing the name for what she was had been such a relief, though she had come to realize over the years that that same sentiment didn’t apply to everyone. Not that she’d been able to use the name of what she was outloud much at all until running away to White Crest. Balam. Before she let herself speak, Evelyn’s hands found Nicole’s own and she held them softly, gently, for just a few moments - letting her gaze rest on the other woman. “Thank you for telling me.” She kept her breathing steady - hoping, on some level, that it would help to steady Nicole’s. “That - that sounds quite,” she bit her lip. “Brilliant, if I am permitted to say so. I promise I will keep your secret. I - it means a lot that you told me.” She gave Nicole’s hands another squeeze, not yet moving her own hands away.

The moments that followed her confession were all blurry and jumbled together, and Nicole only managed to endure them thanks to the adrenaline running through her veins. Once she found herself alone with her thoughts, she would be able to process the events of the day. Only then, the magnitude of what she had done would dawn on her. And there would be time for regrets and fear. But at the moment, it seemed her brain had disconnected. Her leg bounced without permission. As it was always the case, she was hit by an instinctive urge to run. Physically and figuratively running came before everything. Running kept her safe. But running had gotten her nowhere in life. A change in tactics was needed. She was lightheaded. Drained. The only thing she could focus on was her erratic heartbeat and the counter. Looking at Evelyn wasn’t an option.

It took seconds for Nicole to register the touch. The surprise clear in her tear-filled eyes when she finally glanced up. Any other time, she would have resisted it. Not because it was unwanted, but because she didn’t know how to accept it. It would have startled her. But she seemed to be out of her body at the moment, and whoever was at the wheel didn’t mind Evelyn’s hands on her own, keeping her grounded. “Y-Yeah…” She squeezed briefly, just a few seconds, in hopes the woman understood the gesture was appreciated. Gently, she let go. The smile that reached her lips was foreign. Sheepish. Yet her shoulders relaxed, as if she had gotten away with something. She didn’t know how to reply to any of what Evelyn was saying. If it had been allowed, she would have said nothing at all. She took advantage of the small momentum she had gained, choosing honesty. “I don’t really get along with— what’s inside. So, you’re the first— it’s been a while— real long time...since I’ve told...” she explained, letting out a laugh. She found her glass again, slowly sliding it closer. “Uh— think...I think— uh, that’s as far as I can go” she hoped her words sounded apologetic, but she didn’t trust herself in finding the appropriate tone.

At least Nicole was responding to her gesture, which meant that she’d done something right, she figured. Though in the past year more people had chosen to come to her for advice or had remarked that she appeared to know what she was doing, Evelyn never felt entirely certain. She understood how things worked from an objective, sometimes clinical, standpoint, but being vulnerable to others and allowing others to be vulnerable to her without some sort of ulterior motive was still wholly new to her. She let Nicole drop her hand when it seemed necessary, though she kept her hands laid out on the bar top, just in case. “Thank you for letting me be the first you have told.” She glanced down at her hands for a moment. It was almost too much, she thought. Almost, but not quite. Just enough that it stung but not so much she couldn’t manage. Nicole trusted her. Trusted her and was not terrified of her - though Evelyn figured that thanking her for either of those things might just throw everything for even more of a loop.

“You do not have to say anything more.” She shook her head. “You - I appreciate you confiding in me.” Evelyn found her own glass in turn with Nicole. Took another sip. Part of her longed to say something more, but letting at least this part of the conversation was perhaps, by now, for the best. “So, am I going to turn you onto wine?” She grinned. “Not so bad, is it?”

A weary sigh escaped through Nicole’s lips when Evelyn threw her a lifeline. A way out of the conversation. Her frown softened, and the relief almost flipped her stomach. She wasn’t sure she’d be able to repay Evelyn's understanding anytime soon. A laugh caught in her throat. It helped her body shake some of the tension she held since the saltshaker. She could use a laugh. Even a smile, so she allowed herself that. Whether it was genuine or down to nerves, she’d figure it out later. Giving her opinion on wine seemed exactly the kind of thing she had the mental energy for. “Eh, maybe?” lifting one shoulder, her eyes narrowed playfully. “Guess I’ll need more to really make up my mind”. It was still in her plans, to drink all the expensive wine she could. And though Evelyn had given her the perfect excuse to let the conversation move, there was still something bothering. Something she wasn’t able to say before. She didn’t care if it was implied. It didn’t matter how understanding Evelyn was of her inability to say words. It felt too important to be left unsaid.

Nicole’s smile grew slowly, eager to say it now that her mind was on a break. She was surprised by how composed she sounded when she spoke again.“Thank you”. It wasn’t just for the free wine, or the friendly ear, not even for Evelyn’s own vulnerability earlier. She couldn't navigate all the feelings at the moment, but she knew it was more than that. She examined Evelyn’s face, making sure she was alright with that particular conversation to continue another time. “I am...very ready to finish that bottle,” she admitted. And hopefully, there would be more superficial matters to discuss. For once, she wouldn’t mind small talk.

#wickedswriting #c nicole #chatzy #salt bridges #// mary is still a gem #as is nicole #i love these two so much #just soft 🥺#parent death tw

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morganamysticblog · 3 years ago

Text

A Change of Heart

It was the morning before Riley and Liam’s wedding. She should have been excited, overwhelmed with joy. However, all she felt was dread and fear. The questions continuously running through her head. Is this really what I want? Am I about to make the biggest mistake in my life?

Riley was not used to this fancy of a life. She had no clue what the expectations would be for her as a Queen. The scrutiny and pressure she had been under so far from the press and the other nobles was starting to become too much. I can’t keep up all of this much longer. I’m going to end up on the cover of every newspaper because I’ll punch somebody in the face or something stupid.

And then there was Liam. She cared about him, but she didn’t feel that intense burning passion for him like she thought she should by now. She had chosen him that day in Paris because Drake had bailed on her, and she knew Liam had feelings for her. She would be safe and taken care of with Liam. But do I love him? Do I really want to marry him and spend the rest of my life with him?

So many questions running through her head. Suddenly there was a knock at her door.

“Come in.” Madeline opened the door.

“Are you ready? We need to get you to the boutique immediately. We have a busy day. No time to sit around wasting it.”

Riley walked into the boutique with Madeline. Madeline pulled out a purple knee-length dress with flowers on it. Riley went into the changing booth to change coming out with a small twirl. “So, is it what you pictured Madeline?”

“It will be perfect for the pictures. Come, we have a tight schedule.” Madeline pulled on Riley’s arm almost dragging her to the waiting car outside. A short car ride later they arrived at an upscale bridal shop and Madeline led Riley up to the second floor where Hana, Olivia, Liam, and Drake were already there waiting.

When Riley saw Drake, she gave him a small, sad smile. Drake just looked down at the floor, not making eye contact.

Madeline sat down on a couch between Liam and Riley, pulling out a large binder filled with fabric scraps, notes and other information for tomorrow’s wedding.

“Alright then, let’s get started. As you both know most of the arrangements have already been taken care of, but the people need a glimpse into the planning process, so here we are. Duchess Riley, who will be standing with you as your Maid of Honor?”

Riley looked around the room, trying to take deep breaths. “Hana, would you do me the honor of standing up with me?”

“Oh Riley!! I would love to.”

Madeline wrote down Riley’s choice, then turned to Liam. “And your majesty, who will be your Best Man?”

“Drake, you have been my best friend my entire life. I couldn’t imagine anyone else up there with me. Would you do me the honor?”

Drake looked up at Liam, a hint of sadness in his eye. He swallowed hard, then looked over at Riley for a brief moment. “I…I can’t do this.” And he jumped up and walked out of the room.

Liam looked around for a moment, confused, then got up and followed Drake out of the room.

Drake was half way down the stairs before Liam caught him. “Drake…what’s wrong? Where are you going?”

“Liam…I just, I can’t be your best man. I’m sorry.”

Riley sat in the bridal shop with everyone looking at her. Why are they looking at me? I’m just as confused as they are. “I guess I’ll go see what’s going on.” She got up and went out to the hall.

Liam just looked at Drake with confusion, not understanding why Drake would refuse to be his best man. “Drake, why? I…I don’t understand.”

Drake turned and looked at Liam, a mix of sadness, anger and guilt merging on his face. “I just can’t. If it were anybody else, if you were marrying anyone else, I would do it in a heartbeat. But…I just can’t.”

Riley stood outside the door to the bridal shop listening to the two men, trying to gain some insight as to why Drake left so abruptly.

“Drake, I don’t understand. I thought you liked Riley. Your support in all of this craziness has been amazing. Why would you say no?”

“Liam, I do like Riley. That’s the problem.”

“I hate to sound like a broken record here, but I don’t understand.”

“Anyone else Liam…anyone else.”

“Drake…please. Tell me what’s going on.”

Drake stood there for a long moment looking down at the ground, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides, his heart racing. Finally, he looked up at Liam, “I love you like a brother, Liam, you know that. But I can’t stand there and watch you marry her. I just can’t.”

“But why? Do you think I’m making a mistake? Do you know something I don’t? Please, Drake, tell me.”

Anger overrode all other emotions as Drake stared at Liam. “I can’t stand there and watch you marry Riley knowing in my heart that I want it to be me, not you. It should have been me.”

“What…what are you saying Drake?

“I love her damn it! I have the whole time.”

Just then Riley walked out into the stairwell after hearing the conversation between the two. Her eyes were wide in shock at what she had heard.

Drake saw her, his eyes going wide as well, then he turned and ran out the door, not giving anyone a chance to say anything back.

“Did you know about this?” Liam turned to her, anger suddenly flashing in his eyes.

“Me? No.”

“Well, now you do. So what are you going to do about it? This is what you have been waiting for is it not?”

“Liam, I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“In Paris, all those months ago, you did say he was the one you wanted – he was the one you loved.”

“Yes, but…”

“Well?”

“Well what, Liam?”

“What is your decision? Me or Drake?”

“I…uh.” Riley just stood there with her mouth open, staring at Liam. He’s blaming me for this?

“I see.”

“What? Can I take a minute to process here?”

“You shouldn’t have to. I’ll be upstairs when you’ve made your decision. Don’t take long.” And Liam went upstairs to the penthouse room above the bridal shop.

Riley sat down on the stairs, total shock setting in. She had wanted to hear Drake say those words so many times, but he never would, he just kept pushing her away as always. And then there was Liam’s reaction, which was completely uncharacteristic of what she was used to seeing from him. He reminded her, in that instant, of a spoiled child throwing a tantrum because he wasn’t getting his way. If this is what I have in store for me, this is just another reason I can’t do this.

Making a mental checklist in her head, Riley finally began gaining the courage to tell Liam the truth about how she had been feeling, all her doubts and concerns, fears and anxiety. She slowly made her way up the stairs and knocked on the door.

“Enter.” Riley heard the anger still in his voice, but she pushed open the door, hoping he would calm down and listen to her, her decision becoming more and more clear with every step.

Liam looked up to see Riley walk into the room. “So? Are we to return to complete the arrangements?”

“Liam, we need to talk. And before you start getting angrier than you already are, what I need to talk to you about has nothing to do with Drake. This is about me.”

“You? What, is someone else going to barge in and tell me they have feelings for you as well? What else could possibly go wrong at this point?”

“Liam, stop. Please, just listen for a minute.”

“Well, get on with it then.”

“Wow. You know what…get over yourself, Liam. I understand that was a shock. It was to me too. But that does not give you any reason to take it out on me. I have been going back and forth in my head for weeks trying to figure out a way to say this as delicately and nicely as possible, but with your attitude right now? I don’t know if I can do this the nice way.”

“Get over myself. Get over myself? Did you seriously just tell me, your King, to get over myself?”

“For starters, you are not my King. I am an American citizen, not a Cordonian citizen. And yes, I told you to get over yourself. You may be King of this country, but your attitude? You do not speak to me like that. EVER.”

Liam snapped his head up, staring at Riley. No one had ever spoken to him like that before. Something clicked in his mind and he slowly started to calm down a bit. “Riley, I apologize. You are correct, I should not have spoken to you in that manner. What did you want to discuss?”

Riley took a deep breath, trying to form the words in her mind, picking at imaginary strings on her dress. Finally she looked up, taking another deep breath. “Liam, I can’t marry you.”

“Of course you can. We have everything prepared for tomorrow.”

“No, I mean, I know everything is ready, I just…I can’t do this. I can’t be Queen or Duchess or any of it.”

“Riley, you are allowing your nerves to get the better of you. Let’s just go back downstairs and finish the arrangements. You’ll feel better once that is complete.”

“Liam, you’re not listening to me. I…I can’t do this. I thought I could, but the more this went on, the deeper in I got, this is all too much.” Riley looked down at her hands, not wanting to make eye contact with him.

Liam took Riley’s hand in his and gently pulled her chin up with his other hand to look at him. “Riley, you will be fine, I promise. The press and the people adore you. The way you have handled every situation so far, you are amazing. You have nothing to worry about.”

A tear slowly released from Riley’s eye as she looked at him. “Liam, I can’t do this. It was fun for a while, like Cinderella getting to go to the ball, every girl’s dream of becoming a princess, but it’s too much…it’s all becoming way too much. I just want my normal life back.”

“I don’t understand. What are you saying? I thought we were meant to be together.”

“Liam…” tears began falling from Riley’s eyes. She didn’t want to hurt him, but she couldn’t go on like this either. “I…I can’t marry you. Not just because of the massive ulcer creating fear I have about everything, but because…because I don’t love you. Not the way I should. I care about you, I really do. But it feels more like a really good friend, not someone I want to spend my life with.”

“But…we are engaged. You said ‘yes’ when I asked you to marry me. You said this had nothing to do with Drake.”

“It doesn’t. This is all me, my thoughts, my fears, my choice. I tried to tell you so many times, but there never seemed like a ‘right time’.” Riley looked down at her hands again, not wanting to make eye contact. This was a lot harder than she thought it would be.

“Riley…are you certain? Are you positive this is not just due to nerves?”

“I’m sure. You said before that you didn’t want a loveless marriage. And I’m not saying this would be completely loveless, because I do care about you, but like I said, I’m not in love with you. I didn’t want to lead you on, and I know that’s exactly what happened. I tried, Liam. I really did. It’s just not there.”

“I…I understand.” Liam let out a sigh before taking her hand in his and looking at her. “Believe it or not, I feel the same. You are a wonderful friend, and I would not give up the time we have spent together for anything, but that spark, that feeling that I thought was love, I see now that it is not.”

Riley’s eyes went wide hearing Liam confirm that he felt the same for her, friendship, not love. At that instant it felt like a huge weight had been lifted from her.

“I do not wish to force you into something you are uncomfortable with. However, I have already broken off one engagement to be with you. The people will not look favorably upon me if I do it again, especially the day before our wedding.”

A light went on in Riley’s mind, recalling something she had read while helping Olivia research her family history. “I have an idea how to fix that.”

Liam’s brow furrowed in confusion. “I’m listening.”

“You know Cordonian history better than anyone, right?”

“I would like to think so.”

“The very first ruler of the united Cordonia, Kenna, worked with Diavolos Nevraskis to overthrow and defeat his father, correct?”

“Yes.”

“And what happened when the dust settled and Kenna’s forces won the war and united the five kingdoms?”

“Kenna married…”

“Kenna married who?”

“Diavolos Nevrakis.”

“Exactly. Diavolos went against his family heritage, so to speak, aligned with Kenna, supported her, and showed that the Nevrakis family could be a strong ally. Kenna and Diavolos fell in love and were married in the first Cordonian royal wedding.”

“Riley, what are you getting at?”

“Liam, there is one woman who loves you more than life itself. Olivia Nevrakis. If you marry Olivia, it would harken back to the first royal marriage, Rhys and Nevrakis joining together, again.”

“The people would never go for it. And what of her betrothal to Anton?”

“The only person who would object would be Anton. And the entire kingdom knows he is a traitor and murderer, so they wouldn’t believe him anyway.”

“But the marriage contract signed by her parents. That could be discovered and published.”

“There could be an ‘accident’ that somehow, oops, destroyed that document. No one would know except the two of you.”

“I…I don’t know. Olivia is a friend. You say she loves me, truly. I don’t know if I can say the same.”

“Think back to all of your time together. How she has been there for you through everything since you were children. And how she looked at you during the social season, how she kissed you at the ball in Lythikos. You can’t tell me you don’t feel something for her.”

Liam closed his eyes, thinking about how she had grown and become very beautiful, smart, strong. Then he thought about that kiss. He hadn’t admitted it to himself before because he was focusing his attention on Riley then, but he did feel something when Olivia kissed him. He replayed the moment in his head again, then his eyes opened wide with realization. He did have feelings for Olivia.

He looked at Riley taking a deep breath. “I…I…I see it now.”

“Ok, so now we get Olivia up here. I believe you have a question for her.”

Liam pulled out his phone calling Olivia. “Olivia, could you please come up to the penthouse room upstairs? I need to discuss something with you.”

“Sure. I’ll be there in just a minute. Is everything ok?”

“Hopefully. Just please come upstairs.”

“I’m on my way.”

Liam hung up the phone and looked at Riley. “Will you stay? To help explain?”

“Sure.”

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delaneytveit · 4 years ago

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Satellites Part 13

WHOOOOO we’re halfway thereeee! OOOHHHHH (Actually we’ve been a little bit more than half way for a bit) but don’t worry, there’s still A LOT of story to get through. If you guys enjoyed this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it, please consider buying me a coffee!

Oh and I’m on twitter! if you want to give a follow, or watch me scream into the void about Lance in tactical gear, that’s the place!

Twitter - sfw -> @/spacemom_laney | nsfw -> @/15_agentwash

ko-fi - ko-fi.com/delaneym_15

( Part 12 ) ( Satellites Master Post ) (Part 14)

The team left at 0800 the next morning. Allura had convinced, after quite a long time, Blue to let her pilot. Though it was clear that Blue was not happy about it. The only lion that was missing was the red one.

Keith had chosen to stay behind, to much confusion of the team. Though Lance could vaguely guess why. He felt guilty. Keith had been the one to bring into question Lance’s ability to complete missions, and even though that wasn’t his intention, he knew that it still hurt Lance.

Their relationship was rocky as it was. Neither of them really knew where they stood with the other, what they were to each other, and it seemed that the present situation had complicated things even more so.

Lance was refusing to talk to Keith, and it hurt. He hadn’t meant to indirectly ground the sharpshooter. He had only wanted to voice his concerns to Allura, positive that she would be able to do something for Lance that he couldn’t.

Normally, the only kind of confrontation Keith would be willing to face was violent, but he didn’t want to fight Lance. He wanted to apologize. To take responsibility for what was happening to Lance. He owed him that much at least.

It wasn’t hard to track the Blue Paladin down. He had locked himself in his room since breakfast. It was a good thing Keith knew the code by heart.

Punching in the code, he was relieved when the door whooshed open revealing Lance sitting at his desk. Keith could hear the volume of the headphones from where he stood, which made him cringe. The EDM music that Lance listened to was loud enough, didn’t anyone warn him of blowing out an eardrum?

Keith knocked twice before taking loud steps towards the boy, hoping that they would be loud enough to let Lance know that he was there. Lance’s anxiety had spiked dramatically since his return and it took one accidental sneak up by Pidge to inform the team that it was vital for Lance to know that you were coming, so as to avoid a swift punch to the face out of panic.

“What do you want, Keith?” Lance sighed as he removed his earphones. He swiveled his chair to look at the red paladin, arms crossed as he leaned back in his seat.

This was it, Keith had been rehearsing his apology for hours now, trying to make it sound as genuine and coherent as possible. Though at the very moment, what ever award winning speech he had come up with beforehand had vanished as those hard blue eyes stared into him.

“I’m sorry.” he blurted out, cursing himself for his lack of grace.

He immediately dropped his gaze, eyes staring at the floor. There was only a tense silence between them, and Keith begged his mind to come up with something, anything to put an end to this crushing feeling.

But of course, his mind, nor his mouth could seem to work correctly.

It was Lance who broke the silence instead.

“For?” he asked, the question forcing Keith to look up and face the boy. Blue eyes met his once more, a questioning brow raised as Lance waited for Keith to answer.

He could do this.

“I shouldn’t have told Allura about all of this. I- I didn’t know that she would take you off of missions. I should have talked to you and voiced my concerns to you, you didn’t deserve what Allura did to you and it's my fault that it happened. And I am so, so sorry for that.” He was rambling, he knew he was. How did people do this? How did they apologize?

He was only stopped when Lance held up his hand.

“I appreciate the apology, I really do. And to be honest, I’m glad that you told Allura. I don’t think she would have found out if you hadn’t. I’m not mad at you Keith.”

“You’re not?”

Lance chuckled a little, running a hand through his hair.

“I mean, I am a little bit. But I think I’m more pissed at the situation in general.” Lance leaned forward, perching his elbows on his knees. Looking down at his clasped hands, Lance spoke “You guys are right, I’m not okay. I haven’t been for a while and no matter how much I pretend that I am, I’m just hurting myself. I’m not getting better.” he sounded so...broken. Lance never really talked about himself, at all really. Superficial things, sure. Like how he got barely any sleep, or that he missed his mom’s cooking. But he never really talked about things deeper than that. Keith hadn’t really noticed until now, but Lance had been hiding a big part of himself away this entire time, and it only came out at his most vulnerable times at night.

A year ago, Keith would have thought of the way that Lance talks about himself as vain, but now he knew that it wasn’t really the case. Lance has been putting on a mask this whole time.

“But we don’t have time. The universe doesn’t have time for me to get better. It's a long ass process that Voltron can’t afford.”

He was right, of course he was right. Lance was vital to Voltron, even if he didn’t really see himself that way. He still knew that Voltron needed him. It was even more present today with Blue’s little tantrum about having to take on Allura as a pilot.

“But is the universe really more important than having you here?” That was what Keith was most afraid of. Lance had always been the self-sacrificial type. He couldn’t argue that he himself was any better, but Lance seemed to take it to a whole new level. The paladin would miss sleep and meals to make sure that everyone else was taken care of. He would jump in front of a bullet in a second to spare the others. On one occasion Lance had bounded into a burning building to save a few children stuck on the third floor, that had been the worst as it only reminded Keith of how he lost his father. He couldn’t lose Lance too.

“Keith-”

“No, Lance. Listen to me. The universe is not worth you throwing yourself away like that. What you need time to heal, what you went through was fucking terrible. It's no wonder you have PTSD from it.”

“We are the literal Defenders of the Universe, I can’t just not do my job!”

“I’m not asking you to stop being a paladin! I’m asking to for once in your life put yourself first. We need you, I need you! You need to let yourself heal from all of this because there is no Voltron if you continue to let your own health fall by the wayside!” Keith meant every word of it. They needed Lance. They needed him to come back, to be the best he could be, and as hard as he was trying right now, this wasn’t it.

“I’m worried for you, Lance. I can’t lose you too.” Keith’s voice was so small, he himself almost didn’t hear it. But he knew that Lance did, as the boy stood up from his seat and walked over to Keith, instantly wrapping his arms around the shorter one.

“You won’t Keith, I’m not going anywhere. I promise.”

Keith breathed in the scent of ocean and sandalwood of Lance’s detergent, and thanked whatever higher being was there that Lance had insisted on buying his own detergent all those mall trips ago. The pompous asshole had good taste in soap, and it comforted Keith easily.

“Just promise me you’ll at least try.”

He felt Lance take a deep breath.

“I am trying, Keith. I’m trying every day.” If Keith felt the shaky breaths or the wetness on his shoulder, he said nothing. It was clear that Lance needed this as much as he did, maybe even more. “I never wished I was Shiro, more than I do right now. He’s been through everything and he’s able to handle it all so easily.”

Oh, absolutely not. There was no way in hell Keith would let Lance talk about himself like that.

He pulled away from their hug, to much of his own dismay, and held Lance at arms length. Violet eyes bore into icy blue ones. The eyes that he could get lost in, but now as not the time to think about that, Keith.

“Lance, you said it yourself. WHat Shiro went through and what you went through was completely different.”

“But-”

“No. You really think that Shiro would be in any better of a state than you are now after being treated the way you were? I have no idea the extent of what they did to you, but I do know that it had to have been absolute hell. You don’t get to compare your pain to others, just because they seem to be doing better than you. Your pain is your own, so stop being an idiot and just acknowledge the fact that those guys are assholes!”

Keith was most definitely not expecting a chuckle from the Blue Paladin, but he assumed it would be better than the alternative.

“That was good, Mullet. You come up with all that yourself?”

Keith rolled his eyes. Of course, leave it to Lance to make a joke about a serious conversation.

“As a matter of fact, I did. And I’ll say it again. As many times as I need to for it to get through your tiny brain.”

“Hey! I’ll assure you my brain is of average size. Some may say it's even above average!”

It was Keith’s turn to laugh.

“Yeah, I’m sure it is.” he joked offhandedly, letting his grip on Lance’s arms finally fall.

Lance fixed him with his characteristically famous smirk that Keith knew could only mean trouble.

“Want to know what else is above average size?” Lance waggled his eyebrows knowingly as Keith facepalmed.

“Oh my god, Lance. No!”

#vld lance #lance serrano #lance mcclain #i love two blue bois and lance is one of them #lance getting to joke and be a normal human being for once #it can't all be angst #I mean it can but like #he deserves to be heard and enjoy his life somewhat #also lance and Keith??? oh yeah klance is happening

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halorocks1214 · 5 years ago

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the law of action

AO3 Link

Word Count: 10100

Summary: The Law of Action must be applied in order for us to manifest things on earth. Therefore, we must engage in actions that support our thoughts, dreams, emotions, and words

Previous Parts (in order): Alan | You are here! | Virgil | Scott | Gordon

these just keep getting longer fellas i dont understand how thats possible but it is. ALSO: REMEMBER IN ATTRACTION WHEN I MENTIONED THAT THESE WERE BEING WRITTEN OUT OF ORDER. HA, UH, KIND OF AN UNDERSTATEMENT I GUESS. but its here! johns pov chapter! im pretty satisfied with it, albeit a few kinks i wasnt really able to work out, so i hope you enjoy it too!

thanks again to @gumnut-logic for the prompts! "Where?" and lightning were this fic's choices. sad to see the last ones go away, but this was still a blast so thank you once more! also, just because the prompts are gone doesnt mean this series will be too ;3

Anger was a rare emotion for John Tracy.

It had to be. When dealing with the cold hard truth of data telling them something wasn't possible or dealing with annoying people who thought they knew better than him or dealing with people panicking in his ear because nobody expected the aftershock of an earthquake to be that bad, he didn’t have a choice. There were a lot of deals in life that had to be made and someone needed to play peacemaker, even if it wasn’t deserved.

It was true that he got the least angry out of his siblings, even compared to Virgil. Virgil might not get necessarily violent like Scott did, or threw caution to the wind like Gordon, or, hell, pulled off whatever John does when someone somehow manages puts him in a bad mood, but Virgil did get angry quite a lot. He just didn’t have as many blatant ways of showing it. John, on the other hand, didn’t have a lot of ticks. Pet peeves, definitely, John was no stranger to annoyance (especially with siblings like his), but not outright anger.

That didn’t mean he never got angry. He was Tracy born and bred, so that meant one the few ticks he did have surrounded the topic of family.

Specifically, his family being threatened.

John wished he was the youngest sometimes. That meant he could say things like let Scott punch the idiot already, he’d be doing the world a favor, and not get lambasted for the immature response. It also meant he could throw tantrums to hell and back and not feel like a total loser.

Like right now for example.

“EOS, I swear, if you don’t open the elevator door for me--”

“No, I won’t.”

Unbelievable.

Groaning and rubbing his face, his hands found their way up to his forehead and through his hair, holding his bangs out of his eyes for a moment. His eyes had many emotions in them, the most blatant being this shit cannot be happening right now, “EOS, do you know you’re amazing? I don’t think I’ve said that enough.”

EOS whirled for a moment, “John, I’ve seen that grin on Gordon. I cannot believe you would stoop that low.”

The grin she pointed out fell flat off his face, “Yeah, okay, you’re right about that--”

“Like I always am.”

“--So thank you,” John was going to strangle whoever defined sass so thoroughly in the dictionary. It left a bad example, “For the reminder, but seriously, I need to get up to ‘Five. It’s… important.”

It’s been a week since Alan was taken.

They’ve exhausted all options.

The only thing that could possibly get him back to them had to be International Rescue’s resources.

But EOS over here wasn’t getting the memo. Her words had that hint of childish innocence behind it. In that way that said there was no innocence whatsoever and she knew exactly what she was doing, the little shit, “John, do you really need to, or do you want to?”

There’s the inflection that John taught her. An inhale through the nose and… Uuuugghh, “EOS, I know the difference between needs and wants, this is definitely a need.”

Another lens blink, another moment of disbelief, “It seems like you have a lot of needs, John Tracy.”

John grimaced and ground his jaw together, mumbling his grievances with the current situation, “Yeah, well, if there’s any trait I truly share with my siblings, it’s that we’re all high maintenance.” His next words were more clear and designed to get the point across, “EOS, I’m not kidding, unlock the door.”

EOS stood her ground, “John, you going up there is one of the most detrimental things to you’re health at the current moment. I won’t let you.”

John threw his hands into the air, “EOS, there’s are whole lotta things that are currently detrimental to my health currently happening, one more thing won’t hurt.”

EOS lens shuttered again and John felt like it was nails on a chalkboard, “You have a point, but I’ve seen you with Scott when he’s in a similar mood. Don’t you tell him he needs to take a moment and think when he gets like this?”

John groaned as quietly as possible. Not too loud, but loud enough that EOS hopefully got the point, “Yes, I do, but I’m not Scott. We are two very different people, you have pointed this out numerous times. We have different ways of handling things, this, and ‘Five is exactly how I can fix this problem.”

That was not how he should’ve worded that. Her lights flickered in sympathy, sympathy, and he knew she finally figured out what John was trying to get at, “John, there may still be a lot I have to learn, but at least I understand--”

“No, EOS!” John snapped before he could help himself. Before she could finish explaining her point of view that was most likely right, but his desperate brain didn’t want to hear it. His brain that was running on zero energy telling him this was taking too long, fix that, “You can’t understand!”

Just like that, John was reminded of why he hated getting angry.

As soon as the words left his mouth, so did the air in his lungs. Through sheer will and determination, the only thing that didn’t leave his body was the little amounts of food he ate over the past seven days, though it really wanted to. He became very pale, and EOS could detect the not-so-trace amounts of fear that fell over his eyes.

Dammit, you idiot. Months upon that past year of work were now going to go down the drain because you blew your lid just this once! First, the call with Alan, now telling the one thing that could kill you in your sleep she’ll never essentially be good enough was--

“I know, John.”

His food came back with a vengeance, but he was bullheaded as hell, and he already caused enough damage. The last thing anyone needed was to clean up vomit. It would’ve been nicer if she got angry at him. He could handle being thrown out into space. He couldn’t handle EOS admitting he was right, least of all over blatantly cruel words.

He channeled the energy his stomach wanted to use into weak words, “E-EOS, I…” What the hell was he supposed to say? Sorry surely wasn’t going to fucking cut it.

Well, whatever he wanted to cut didn’t come up, as EOS continued as if John wasn’t the worst thing on the planet, “I’ve been doing some reading. I understand that I’ll never really understand certain human-based things like you do. You, humans, have gotten close, me being one of the better examples, as long as that’s not considered bragging, but even I’m not at that level yet. But I do at least know you and your habits. I put up with them on a daily basis.”

Because if there’s anything else John needed to fail this week, it was the one promise he made to her. His promise to keep her safe, to make sure she wasn’t treated like a mindless robot by some crazy scientists ready and willing to cut her circuitry wide open like a middle-school science project. While he would never even get close to being a quote-on-quote crazy scientist, never in a million light-years, he surely didn’t follow that middle part of his promise, “EOS, listen, I--”

“Please, John,” and now she was pleading, thinking he was going to ask to use the elevator again. Thinking he wasn’t going to give up, even after all of that. John might’ve laughed if it wasn’t his fucking fault, “I’ll help look for more options if it means you’ll stay here for a little while longer. You should stay with your family. I know how they affect you in those positive ways that you currently need.”

John was abruptly aware of his heavy, almost wheeze-like breathing. If he wasn’t careful, it could delve into one whopper panic attack, which would be so great right now, “Y-Yeah, okay. They probably won’t understand the effects of gravity over an elongated period of time like I do, so I can stay and help with that, at least. Thank you.”

As John turned around, he heard EOS whisper to herself. He could blearily tell it was actually fondness that filled her vocal waves for once, but it still stung regardless, “Idiot.”

Yeah, he really was, wasn’t he.

As he helped look over his Dad’s med-scan with Virgil, when Virgil went looking for something on the other side of the room, his father whispered, “I know this is a bad question right about now, but, is there anything we can do for you? Maybe even I? You look dead on your feet.”

John could only reply to the first half of his father’s statement with a meek, “I don’t know anymore.”

---

16-year-old John Tracy was seated atop his roof, making sure he got the perfect view of the Big-Dipper.

He was hoping to spot a more exciting constellation when he first used his new telescope, but dangit! He was just so excited to get cracking right away! He just got back from his birthday party, Alan and Gordon snoozing in their rooms while Scott and Virgil secretly finished off the cake. That was okay. John was too busy focusing on his new expensive toy to worry about having any more sweets.

His dad could pull some strings when it counted.

Newest model. The only other people who have this baby are scientists at NASA. Happy birthday, John. Sorry I didn’t get you a car like Scott.

Fuck cool cars. John would be on cloud 9 for days with this thing. Scott would call him a nerd for it. Jokes on Scott, he couldn’t zoom about 10 thousand miles into space now, could he?

Right as he nailed it, the world shook. Large arms snaked around his waist and he involuntarily found himself giggling at the contact. As soon as those limbs let go, he blushed at his reaction and cleared his throat. Suddenly, the arms were an entire body sitting down right next to him, speaking with their ever-comforting burly voice, “Hiya, son, I see you just couldn’t wait, huh?”

Rolling his eyes, John turned back into his serious, analytical self once more, “Yup, this thing’s crazy. I’m glad I got out here as quickly as I did.”

Jeff simply grinned. John was always reserved, but Jeff was a good translator for all of his sons, and he could tell that John meant this is one of the best things in my life holy crap, “That’s great to hear. The look on your face when I brought this out of the closet was certainly good enough to last me a few lifetimes.”

John snorted, “I bet it was. I heard Gordon joking about it with Alan. I don’t think I need to see any pictures anymore. I have a pretty good mental image of what I looked like.”

Jeff smiled and sighed, “No kidding. “Like a goldfish with a broken jaw.” Not the most eloquent, that Gordon is.”

Laughter rang out throughout the roof, followed by a few moments of silence. Not awkward, but not really welcomed on John’s part either, “Do you…” Stop it, John, you’re asking for too much, “Nevermind, it’s dumb.”

Jeff tilted an eyebrow, “Oh, is it? I guess you would know if something were smart or dumb, so I trust your judgment.”

Dangit, Dad, why are you so manipulative, and why are you so good at it, “I don’t know. I’ve established I wanted to be an astronaut, right?”

Jeff nodded, “Mmhmm.”

John, for some reason, felt like he needed to tread carefully, “You are also an astronaut. If there was any way for you to be able to… could you… could you come up with me the first time?”

Jeff blinked in shock, and before his son could register that as disapproval, “Huh, well, that’s certainly wasn’t what I was expecting. Sure, I don’t see why not.”

Now it was John’s turn to blink, his mouth gaped, “Wait, what? Are you serious? Aren’t there rules for this kind of stuff?”

Jeff shrugged, his shoulders clearly saying rules shmules, “I’m also one of the biggest entrepreneurs on the planet itself, and one of the most renowned ex-astronauts there are. You would not believe the lengths people are willing to go to kiss my ass. Would you feel better if I pinky promised?”

John’s nose scrunched, “You can never truly promise anything, you know.”

His father chuckled, used to his son’s antics. John was reserved, remember, “Well, you boys always credited me with doing the impossible.”

John continued challenging him, “When we were all less than 10, yeah, sure. I think Alan still thinks you can breathe in space. You. Specifically. No one else. I think he said you only wore the helmet to “protect your secret so the evil movie scientists don’t take you away.””

Chuckles turned into laughter and a clap on John’s shoulder, “Well, glad to see I still got the magic touch at least.” That same arm that playfully smacked him was now wrapped around his shoulders, “Just you wait, Johnny boy, if I can’t get on that ship with you, then you bet your ass I’ll at least be the loudest one cheering in the crowd.”

Then, suddenly, John was right, like he always was.

A promise that never should have been made: broken. A wish never fulfilled.

Dad was swallowed up by the very thing John loved.

No more space stories, no more fun moon facts, there was a void in John’s life as big as the galaxy itself, and he wasn’t sure how to walk around it, or God forbid even into it.

He tried to be the healthy sibling about it. He tried so hard. Getting through high school quicker than most so he could just worry about his family. Scott and Grandma were doing their best, and in so many ways, it was enough, but even they couldn’t bear all of the stress themselves.

But then his high school graduation came and Grandma gave him one of the biggest hugs of his and her life and he realized that he would never get one from his father again. His mom leaving this world was already bad enough, but at least his dad was there and knew how to fill in the gap after years and years of his marriage with her. You didn’t marry a woman like Lucille Tracy and not fundamentally understand how the gears in her brain turned lest you were truly insane. Maybe Dad was. Certainly would explain a lot of things from John’s perspective. Certainly would explain why she married him in the first place. Crazy attracts crazy.

Regardless, the one thing closest to his mom’s warmth and care was gone, and if he spent the night of his graduation party quietly sobbing his eyes out while the others slept, well, then he was glad they kept snoring.

Try as he might, he became just as unhealthy and unbalanced as the rest of his family, but he was more subtle about it. His self-destructive ways weren’t bad if other people had them, but when it came to him, oh, he knew it was the worst thing he could do in terms of recovery. That’s probably why the rest of the family didn’t notice (Good). John was smart, he would know better. Yes, he did, which is exactly why he dived headfirst right into it all.

Focusing on college, getting up into the star-filled void closer to his dead relatives as quickly as possible, focusing on the here-and-now to make sure this shit didn’t happen again. Making sure no family went through what theirs did.

And maybe that’s why, why he couldn’t handle the touch of others wanting to comfort him. Because it reminded him too much of what they used to have, of what they used to be. Too many hugs and kisses from others might wash away what his mom’s and dad’s felt like, and out of all the things they could potentially lose from this, those were the worst possible ones.

John was a Tracy, which meant he was stubborn.

He wasn’t going to lose the last few things he remembered about his parents if he could help it.

---

It had been just under a month, and John finally got what he wanted.

And it wasn’t working like he thought it would, if at all.

He’s been on ‘Five for three days, and for just a fleeting moment, it washed away any uncertainty. He felt back in control, if only minorly, and he held the world at his fingertips once more. Too bad the world he wanted to fix was so far away it felt like it was on the other side of the frickin solar system itself.

He promised his family four days at most. Please, just one chance. We won’t know unless we try. He wasn’t sure what cracked them first, them coming upon dead end after dead end, them finally seeing reason behind John’s argument, or if they just got annoyed with the space monitor after endless nagging and relented like tired parents.

The tiny part of John’s mind that still allowed him to joke kinda hoped it was the third option. “Easy child”, pfft. John’ll show them.

Right, right, a clear head, the most focused of IR, he can’t get unfocused or go too far off track. He’s saved many lives throughout his life, all of them thanks to his level head, but right now, he was arguably saving the most important life of all, so that meant he had even more incentive to stay focused.

In fact, he was so focused, he jumped at the sudden, feminine voice filling the room, “John, I found another article I think you would like to see about most common places criminals… John?”

Crap, he was halfway into the fetal position. Slowly uncurling, John nodded, “Oh, thank you, EOS. I’ll start reading it shortly.”

The noise of her lens adjusting sounded throughout ‘Five again, “Of course. Let me know if you would like me to start searching for a different topic, though. There has to be a limit to how many “You wouldn’t believe this” articles one can take, and I think I’m finding it really quickly.”

For the next few seconds, John was suddenly filled with a rush of determination he had been trying to get after their little confrontation in front of a locked elevator door to ‘Five.

She had been helping him out so much the past couple of weeks. Running unnecessary tests for him, searching parts of the web only she could search without getting tracked by some secret mafia, letting him know it was okay if he couldn’t get everything right the first time when two months ago she snapped at him for getting a simple algebra equation wrong due to lack of sleep. She had been especially patient with him recently, even after their little spat in the hangar, and John wasn’t sure how to process it. A tiny part wanted to resort to anger again because he clearly didn’t deserve her, but the more prevalent parts preferred something like depression or even apathy.

She had been making sure his world didn’t spin off its axis, and John couldn’t even tell her sorry until now.

“EOS, I’m sorry.”

She stopped moving, turned around and let her lights blink yellow for only a moment, “For what, John?”

The man in question waved his hands around in front of his face, lost, confusing her more. With a sigh, he explained, “For a lot of things, but mainly from a few weeks back when we had that argument. I said something that wasn’t okay, and I didn’t have the balls to own up to it until now. So, I’m sorry. I crossed a line I shouldn’t have even been near.”

For a little bit, it was quiet. John waited as the A.I. contemplated his words. Then, she spoke her judgment, “Well, I know you are. You haven’t exactly been working off your butt over nothing, right? Plus, reliable sources say one of the ways guilt manifests is anger. I’ve seen that with the rest of your family. It would make sense yours would too.”

John blinked. Part of him was expecting her to not fully understand why he was apologizing, but the other wanted her to just so he could get over this, just so he could let go of even just the teeniest amount of guilt he had, “EOS, anger isn’t a valid excuse. What I said was wrong. I don’t believe those words and you shouldn’t either. The whole point of this partnership is to show you that there’s more to life than just calculations and probabilities. It’s kind of hard to see that when the one person who promised to be different went and screwed it up anyway.”

John hoped EOS was at least questioning things now instead of letting his words go in one ear and out the other. Her next words said she was doing exactly the latter, “Okay. I don’t disagree with you, John, but I don’t know why you’re so hooked on this. I understand. We don’t have to worry about this unnecessarily anymore.”

Yes, you do understand. That’s the fucking point.

They weren’t getting anywhere, yet John didn’t even have the energy to groan in annoyance. He could even get his eyebrow to twitch.

All he could do was simply lean his head back against the wall and let his hair stick up against it like static electricity was flowing through it. The real reason it was sticking up was probably due to a mixture of Zero-Gs and grease from all of the showering he hasn’t been doing, however. His eyes had deep rings around them, and for a second, EOS thought about how relative age could be as a number while John softly spoke, “The Hood was an angry man, too, you know. He felt slighted by our family and wanted us to feel the same. It still doesn’t make what he did right.”

EOS thought about his words before coming to a logical conclusion, “Well, that’s certainly a leap in logic. There’s a big gap between simply yelling because you’re annoyed and literal kidnapping. One gives people a sour mood, the other gives them a significant amount of jail--”

“Yes, EOS, I’m aware of that,” John brought his hand to his face, but underneath it was a grin, telling the world that he was feeling fond exasperation more than anything. EOS was more obtuse than him sometimes. It was one of the few things of himself he wished she didn’t copy so easily. He sighed and brought his hand back down, “I’m just... putting things into perspective. I want you to see why my words were wrong. It would make me feel better if you did.”

EOS hung still, letting John’s admission roll over her wiring like a wave of electricity, “You have a lot of needs and wants. What takes precedent?”

More inflection. This time, John welcomed it. It gave him something to stand on. John wanted a lot of things. Alan to be home safe and sound, Dad to have not disappeared for nearly a decade, for his brothers to stop slowly killing themselves, for himself to stop, but the needs of the many, even the needs of one, outweigh the wants of a singular man like him, but, “Well, needs obviously, they’re necessary, however… it’s okay to be selfish every once in a blue moon. It doesn’t make you inherently bad.”

It was advice he parroted many-a-times to his family, some of them more often than others, seldom to himself if at all.

Scott, it’s okay if you have to tell them you can’t make this business conference.

Virgil, you can count inventory in the morning. You didn’t get any sleep last night either.

Gordon, if you can’t smile for a day or two, that doesn’t make you a bad person.

Kayo, you don’t have to patrol every night. We have security cams for a reason.

Alan, I know we tease you, but you missing a chore or two isn’t the end of the world.

Grandma, you already do enough for us, you barely cooking for us is the least of our worries.

That last one might be more for the rest of his family than not, but hey, two birds and one stone. Keeping his back against the wall, John stood up straighter against it, face suddenly serious, “In fact, wanting to be selfish is one of the best ways to tell that you’re human. You can’t escape it. It only becomes bad when you end up only being that.”

EOS sat in silence, her lens flickering in that way it always does when she was signifying she was about to pass judgment like a Goddess, which she seemed to be doing a lot more recently, “Well then… If I’m allowed one moment of self-reprieve, I suppose I should say that those words did… hurt.”

John grimaced despite very much understanding that he deserved it. The return of the inflection didn’t exactly help. Pushing himself away from the wall, he felt the metaphorical weight fall off his shoulders, “Yes, they did, and while they weren’t okay, it is okay to say that they weren’t. I still am very sorry.”

EOS adjusted her camera, probably to stall for time, “I know you are, John. I still forgive you, but am I correct in assuming I’m allowed some time to… recover isn’t the word I’m looking for, but--”

“Yes, EOS,” John helped her explain her own point, “Recover is a good word. You’re allowed that if you want it.”

John wasn’t sure how, but it seemed like EOS visibly relaxed, “Thank you, then, for letting me do that. This.”

For some reason, John did too, “Of course.”

It was a soft kind of awkward silence, where both parties had something on their mind but they weren’t entirely sure if they wanted to say it out loud. This is why EOS appreciated John more than the others, he simply let silence be silence. It allowed her time to think, unlike how Scott and Virgil kept asking questions, or how that awful duo made noises and messes only to have a chance at making people laugh. As if that was the most important thing they needed to do.

The nights the youngest called John were endless with his constant babbling that tended to grate her circuit boards. The only reason she let it happen was that John seemed to loosen up at the interaction. He became less weary, less worried-filled. He seemed to greatly enjoy the audial presence of Alan Tracy, let alone the way he lit up when the youngest actually showed up in person. It was just unfortunate that it seemed like the kid could never keep his mouth shut.

Then again… from what John said, the whole reason there wasn’t any more Alan was because he did keep it shut. At the worst moment possible. Now there wouldn’t be any more babbling period. Alan was gone, and the whole family was suffering from the new silence. EOS reasoned it was from the general idea of forced silence instead of just freely being able to leave the room or being able to tell him to quiet down, but maybe it was more than that. She could make another list of options to consider.

Plus, it was weird to think about a future where all of those video game walkthroughs she was forced to save would never be used again. John insisted that they weren’t just wastes of megabytes, so...

Hmm.

“Could you…” EOS trailed off, and before John could comprehend the unusual behavior of the A.I., she started speaking again, “Could you tell me more about Alan? I’m starting to think I judged him rather harshly.”

John took a moment to register her words and promptly snorted, “Well, most of your assumptions about him aren’t entirely unfounded, but that’s one of the joys of being an older sibling, I guess. Surprises around every corner,” there was regret in her voice and John knew he had to treat this as gently as he would a newborn child otherwise he would never hear it again.

EOS flickered, “I thought you didn’t like surprises.”

Uh, “Well, not usually, but there are a few from time to time that I could look back on and call them… quaint, in a sense.” Suddenly, a memory resurfaced, and John found himself grinning like he was doped up on nitrous oxide, “Yeah, they can have good surprises occasionally…”

It was a week before his next rotation. Scott would be back home in about three days, which allowed the second born to actually have a few moments with his only older brother. He was looking forward to it just as much as Scott was. Right now, though, he had to make sure he got the right angle.

Right as he did, he heard the soft pitter-patter of footsteps come up the ladder, and when he turned around, he was met with a bundle of freckles, “Oh, hey Alan.”

Hi, Johnny, the kid squirmed out, Is it okay if I sit next to you?

At first, a list of things wanted to fill John’s head. You look dead on your feet, you should be asleep, you have a lot going on this week so why are you wasting sleep? but instead of any of those filling the void that was his brain, John simply nodded, “Yeah, sure, come pop a squat, Sprout.”

John looked away right before he could watch Alan’s nose wrinkle in displeasure. Despite the usage of the nickname (that Alan secretly liked, don’t think you could pull that wool over our eyes, little bro), the kid still toddled over and flopped himself down right next to his older brother. Sighing, the kid leaned his head on John’s arm and absentmindedly stared out into space, both figuratively and literally. Satisfied his brother was comfy, John went back to his current objective.

As John examined the night sky, he also carefully looked over Alan out of the corner of his eye. Every bruise that John could see was finally dulling out into that familiar greyish-yellow as bruises do, and the sight was enough to calm any negative emotion being created from the reminder. John refocused on his telescope to help as well.

The kid had been through one hell of a week, bullies being their typical selves. Every Tracy outside of Scott and Gordon had their fair share of their own experiences with nasty people, and it wasn’t even the first time they’ve left their special kind of blue-and-black marks, but seeing it on Alan was… worse, somehow. Virgil had unsavory anonymous notes at ‘best’, and John knew first hand that their hits bruised more than just physical skin. So to see Alan get the same treatment and not say anything...

John was starting to understand why his older brother greyed so easily.

Speaking of which, Scott was pretty peeved at the idea of not being there for Alan. Because of this, John made sure to be the sole one to call him and inform him of the awful news while the older brother was out at his designated Air Force base. John wanted to see with his own two eyes that Scott wouldn’t do anything rash and made himself liable to be put on some kind of list.

You would think he wouldn’t be that stupid, but the Tracys are known for breaking expectations over their sweet, sweet kneecaps.

(“Scott, you’re not going to steal an Air Force jet just to come and beat up some dumb kids.”

“Watch me.”

“They’re only a year older than Alan.”

“Doesn’t matter.”

John pinched the bridge of his nose, “Listen, we already scarred them enough as it is, let alone their expulsions. Grandma’s threats to the adults were liable for a government-mandated therapist, Virgil just being there had them running for the hills, the computer I was sporting sent chills down their spines and throughout the hallways, and that’s not even to mention Gordon’s threats to the kids themselves. Seriously, where would a 15-year-old even get the tools to do that?”

Scott visibly relaxed at John’s point, but he still sat a little taut, not fully accepting the idea of people being cruel enough to hurt a literal ray of sunshine, “Fine, fine, I still want to talk to the kid over a call at some point. He was the one who dealt with those idiots.”

John’s shoulders deflated, “Yeah, you got me there. He’ll be back with Virgil and Gordon soon enough, you can see him then.”

Scott smiled in a way that washed away the greys in his hair, if only for a moment, “Awesome, I--”

John wasn’t completely done, “But I’m going to be with Alan while you talk to him. I don’t trust you to not be in search-and-destroy mode, and the last thing Alan needs is an angry you with no buffer. Besides, I’m pretty sure we have the same questions. I can play the angsty-Scott translator tonight. Usual fee, 10 bucks each word.”

The groan that managed to fill the whole house despite the tiny speakers was one John would never forget.)

Too lost in thought, John didn’t catch Alan’s movements at first. Leaning away from his telescope, John focused on Alan, “Sorry, Allie, did you say something?”

The child simply shrugged and smushed his chubby cheeks against John’s side, shaking his head, followed by his hands, I just wanted to see what you were doing.

Ah, that made sense. Alan had been continuously signing for the past year because of the obvious, so John rolled with the punches. It was always funny when they talked about these years in the future. Alan talked, Alan said, Alan brought up: it was always metaphorical, and nobody could believe them when they said Alan was fluent in ASL, let alone because he could actually go half a day without talking.

It was ironic because even with no words, Alan still managed to be the loudest thing on the planet. His hands always screamed with excitement whenever he felt like ‘talking’, and no brother ever felt like shutting him up. Especially when it was so easy for Alan to simply not shake his hands to hide the fact that he was in trouble--

Right, don’t go there. John shook his head to bring himself out of his thoughts and replied to the non-verbal admission, “Just looking at the stars. Recording their coordinates and whatnot.”

A small gasp had John jerking immediately away from his scope to see Alan suddenly very worried, maybe even fearful, But won’t you lose your eyes?!

Aha, what? “Allie, you’re going to have to give me more than that.”

John almost didn’t catch what Alan was trying to explain with the way he frantically shook his hands even faster than before, Mrs. Gatsen explained to us that the sun was a star too, but we’re not allowed to look at it for too long because it’ll steal our eyes! I don’t want you to lose your eyes, Johnny!

Ohoho, the part of John’s brain that was all about the smartsy stuff was gearing up to have a full-blown seminar of sorts, but the way the kid seemed so sincere in his worry, in his fear, John felt partially bad for giggling instead, “Oh, Allie, no. Here,” John was activating his inner Virgil and Scott with the way he grabbed the youngster and placed him in his lap, “Yes, the sun is a star, but there are many kinds of stars. Most of which don’t hurt your eyes. Take a look.”

Alan gave one last sentimental look at John, who nodded again just to reassure the blonde before the boy gulped and put his eye against the tool like Johnny did. This time, the gasp that came from him was more magical, more child-like, as it always should be. John watched on as the kid became stuck to his telescope like glue.

Suddenly, Alan leaned back into John, somewhat knocking the wind out of him. Honestly, now that he was thinking about it, John realized he was pushing it by letting Alan sit next to him in terms of his personal comfort zone. He loved Allie just as much as the rest of the family, but letting them in, letting them get close, was veering dangerously close to that specific ‘hug’ territory like he and his parents had.

Before John could explain that in a child-friendly way, and hopefully in a way where the too-smart-for-his-own-good kid couldn’t pick up on the hidden message, Alan looked him directly in the eyes and confidently signed his wants, Can we do this more often? Can we?

Just like that, John’s mind blanked. Alan wanted to do something with him. Not swim with Gordon, not music with Virgil, not do, well, anything with Scott, Allie found something that he would like to do with John.

Huh, interesting, “Yeah, sure. If we can’t do it in the next week, then the first thing we’ll do when I come down is stargaze, because that’s what it’s called: stargazing.”

Alan started gripping his arm tighter and leaned more into his chest, nodding vigorously at the news and looking back to the sky with newfound wonder. Letting Alan be, abruptly forgetting his grievances with things like touch, John went back to his telescope. After another minute or so, John reached a point where he needed both sides of his body, except it looked like one of them was going to be kept immobile unless the spaceman said something to Alan.

John tried doing just that, just without looking away from his device, “Hey, Allie, I don’t mind the sitting-in-my-lap and stuff, but I do need my arm back to--”

Snoring.

Oh.

Jerking his head to physically look at his sibling, John found Alan passed out and squeezing his arm like a freckled koala bear. The ginger flinched a little bit at the drool dripping onto his sleeve, but the way Allie melted into him made him-- actually, he was very suddenly aware that this whole night he hadn’t really been thinking at all, and that thought made him continue to stare mindlessly at the dozing brother.

He always thought about, well, everything. What he was going to say, what he planned to do tomorrow, about what the future held now that they were down their second and last parent. If he didn’t think about it beforehand, he rarely did it. He had to make sure he went through all of his options before haphazardly jumping into the pits of hell.

Yet the way his younger brother looked at him like he was the world himself tonight made John throw all of his training to be as cautious as possible out the window in a need to comfort and care for the small thing in front of him.

It was shocking to his mind, yet he didn’t resent just being able to do without worrying too much. Was this how smother complexes started? Did he ever drool on Scott’s arm? Still staring at Alan, John’s mind continued to be robotic as he simply let his younger brother be and went back to his telescope. Alan had been needing to get a little more sleep lately anyway.

Yeah, it was fine. He could figure out how to follow up on his words later. It wouldn’t be that hard to figure out a way to squeeze Alan into some of his already-planned stargazing nights while making sure the kid still got sleep. Also, John’s used telescopes wearing a cast and sling before, he might prefer two arms, but he has been okay with only one.

If Grandma yelled at John for spending too much time on the roof again, well, she would have to get over it. Alan got an extra hour of sleep and that was all that mattered.

EOS watched as John finished the story. Once he was done, he continued to be quiet while grinning at nothing. All he was doing was simply staring at the floor… It was slightly creepy, and EOS cleared her nonexistent throat, “Huh, I didn’t realize he got a lot of his interests from you. Maybe… maybe you could show me why he did. He can too. More perspectives always get more data.”

John blinked and was immediately taken out of his trance. He brought his hand to his mouth and cleared his throat, “Yeah, he-- wait, what?”

EOS sighed. This is another reason why she snapped him out of it; his inability to listen to someone right in front of him. She simplified her words, “If Alan comes back, can you two take me stargazing? I don’t think I’ve ever seen what the stars look like down there, or, at least, I never looked at them long enough to understand what you all find to be so fascinating about them.”

John blinked a few more times with his mouth slightly gaped. He looked around nervously before bringing his turquoise eyes to look EOS directly in the middle of her camera, “Yeah, sure, EOS. When Alan gets back, that’s the first thing we’ll do.”

EOS didn’t mention anything about the correction of if to when, “Thank you, John, I would like that very much.”

John nodded and floated back to his tech, “Of course. Now then, we’ve got work to do. I’ve been meaning to stargaze recently anyway.”

He still had one more day up here.

And a baby brother who needed saving.

How hard could it be?

---

Very.

Growling in frustration, he thumped his fist against the wall next to him rather harshly.

Not enough to leave any kind of mark or dent, but enough for him to focus on the tiny amount of pain it gave him. He vaguely heard EOS’s lens flare at the sudden noise, but he was a little too focused on why he felt the need to hit his girl.

It was the end of the last day, and he didn’t make it any further like he thought he would.

Some bleak part of his mind was hoped, prayed that his girl would have the tools to find their baby brother. He was willing to bend her entire satellite to be able to reach the far ends of the galaxy if he had to, but even he had to concede that she wasn’t enough. The Hood wasn’t dumb, unfortunately, and he wasn’t going to go easy on them. That is if he was even going “to go” on them to start with.

While it wasn’t the first time he failed spectacularly, this failure certainly hurt the worst.

Half of him wanted to curl up into a ball and forget everything for a moment (or maybe forever), but the other half won out in terms of what his body contorted into. Instead of curling up like a prickly hedgehog, he leaned backward to be floating with his back to the ground and his face to the ceiling with his face in his hands. Meanwhile, EOS silently gazed from her camera in the corner. Watching John struggle this way was… new, and it twisted her wires in a way she wasn’t sure she could describe.

EOS watched him mumble something. Huh, peculiar as ever. Adjusting her camera, she tried small talk, “What was that, John?”

Still mumbles, but more intelligible, “... I need to drop the ‘s’.”

A flicker of yellow, nothing but pure confusion for once in her robotic life, “The ‘s’ of what?”

Suddenly, the astronaut was standing (well, floating) upright with a look of disdain, but EOS could see that it wasn’t meant for her, “Of ‘she’. It’s not ‘Five’s fault, God, it never is, but maybe… maybe it’s mine.”

All of her programs should allow her to say something. Anything, sugarcoated or not, would be beneficial to this seemingly one-sided conversation, but this was the moment she learned that humans could be faster than computers since John steamrolled right to the point without hesitation, “He wasn’t good enough sounds better. Nothing I’m doing is getting any results. I gave my family false hope that I would find something and now I have to go to them and essentially break them. They were already barely holding it together as it was, but when the “smart one” in their family says there’s nothing he can do…”

She found herself going against the logical part of her program-- because despite the idiot John Tracy could be, when he made an argument that had any kind of evidence you never could go against it-- the first time in, well, ever, in an attempt to comfort her partner, “John… I think you’re grasping at straws here.”

He looked up from the floor, and EOS had to shrink her lens at the sight of unshed tears in his eyes, “Who was the one that called him?! Me! He was standing there only a few rooms over, probably terrified out of his mind, and I didn’t know. I let him slip between our fingers because I was so caught up in the moment and I hate myself for it.”

EOS found herself speechless for once, and the few droplets of tears that floated in front of John’s face didn’t help. She had been trying her best recently, especially recently, to understand the fluctuations of human emotion, and she was pretty sure she had decent tabs on at least John nowadays, but this was something unexpected, a thing her programming never really liked to deal with. It involved lots of new calculations and new sims, why, it made things seconds longer when they didn’t have the time to deal with it!

Her electronic voice box made a noise with the intent to say something, as she thought she finally had the time to deal with it, but just her luck, more unexpected things made her reapproach the issue at hand, “John, look out! The Chaos Crew!”

Blinking out of his self-deprecation train, John was uncharacteristically panicking, “What, where?” After doing a full 180, John eventually saw one of his comm radios with the familiar pink symbol floating above it.

John’s pupils shrunk and his eyebrows tilted downward in that unfamiliar emotion: anger.

Fuck this.

The mood change was as fast as the speed of lightning. John practically flung himself to the communication device on something akin to a warpath. No longer regretful or depressed, John was filled to the brim with fury at the sight of one of the men that was a constant thorn in the Tracy family’s side, “What the hell are you doing here? How the hell did you--”

“Wait wait wait!” Fuse pleaded, making John momentarily pause enough to listen, “I’m not good at this like my sister is, so this connection is going to drop soon. I need you to reopen the line yourself so I can explain what I’m here for! Trust me, I swear I’m not--”

Zip.

Blinking at the lack of noise, John slowly turned his head to look at his A.I. to get her opinion on the matter. It wasn’t a positive one, that’s for sure. Her dots were bright red, and for the first time in a while, he found himself flinching at the sight and sound of her, “It wouldn’t take much of me to get rid of the nuisance, you know.”

Taking a few deep breaths, John shook his head, “No, EOS, give me a sec. Don’t send him careening into space.”

Yet.

With shaky hands, John did as Fuse begged and found the comm line the guy haphazardly threw together. Right as Fuse jumped at the sight of one of the Tracys actually hearing him out, John’s voice spoke coldly, “You have five minutes. Go.”

Fuse gulped, “W-Well, I suppose the first thing to do would be to apologize. I’ve caused a lot of messes for you and your family-- heh, ‘messes’ probably doesn’t even come close to explaining what I did-- and I realize that now, so I want to--”

Ah, that tactic. The one where they try so desperately to seem like they were repentant. John wasn’t familiar with it, but Scott sure was. Shady business owners trying to shy away from their consequences made the eldest very aware of how slimy those in power could be. Scott complained about it a lot, so John made sure to always remember it just in case he ever ran into it himself.

Preplanning wins again in the Tracy household. You should listen to John’s advice more, Gordon, “Yeah, tell me something I don’t know.” John muttered mostly to himself and moved in a way that signified something was going to happen.

Fuse sputtered and stopped immediately. Crap, he was going about this wrong. These were all things he was suddenly genuine about, he really was, but the Tracys didn’t want useless apologies at the moment, and he understood that. Hopefully, he didn’t understand it too late. Right before John could do anything to him or give any kind of command to his satellite, Fuse blurted the information he should’ve said the first place, “I know where he is!”

John felt like the Earth flew right off its axis.

Everything froze, including EOS. His hand was out in front of him for some reason, probably subconsciously reaching for some kind of button, as he absentmindedly listened to the whirl of ‘Five and his brain fully processed what Fuse was promising, “... What?”

John was keenly aware that sounding so weak, so hopeful, was something that Fuse could spinelessly abuse if the man wanted to, but John had a good lie detector. The words that fumbled out of half The Chaos Crew’s mouth were sounding good, great, and John could tell that he wasn’t bullshitting anything, “I know where he’s keeping your bro. I mean… shit, what The Hood did wasn’t right, maybe it never was, but I know this specifically is--” a break in his speech in an attempt to words things better. Fuse failed, “Bad. I just…”

John’s head involuntarily tilted at the way Fuse trailed off. For once in his life, John was at a loss. This was highly uncharacteristic from what John had seen of The Chaos Crew, and the astronaut was so flabbergasted he couldn’t even begin to come up with any possible ulterior motive behind Fuse’s actions at the moment.

Suddenly, Fuse looked back up with big eyes, almost reminding John of Alan a little bit. Not in the obvious ways, because Fuse was on the verge of seven feet tall and built like a truck whereas Alan was the teeniest thing on the planet, but… John could see similar traits of innocence in them. The eyes of someone desperately clinging onto the last few shreds of hope they had, but still ready to do what's right because of it. Because even if the light at the end of the tunnel was small it was still worth fighting for.

Fuse, seeing that John wasn’t going to say anything, bit the bullet, “I don’t know, call it selfish, call it smart, but if The Hood is willing to do something like this to someone so young, I… I don’t want to be apart of it. I can’t give any information about my sister, I’m no snitch, but I want out, even if it means spending the rest of my days in a GDF cell.”

John was suddenly aware of a burning question, “Wait, how old are you, Fuse?”

A tired sigh, aging Fuse to something that was probably three times what he was going to say, “I turn 20 in two weeks.”

John sharply inhaled, “Jesus, I… I didn’t realize you were that young.”

A lot of things made sense quickly and abruptly like they always do for the ginger.

If The Hood was willing to do this to someone so young, that didn’t stop him from doing this to someone like Fuse. The logical conclusion the now ‘ex-villain’ made probably danced the wildest jig in his head, and before anyone could clap their hands, he got as far away as possible. John wouldn’t be surprised if The Hood made idle threats for not following orders or for “being stupid”, so Fuse had every right to feel threatened.

Jeez, he was probably terrified at the implication. A dark, buried part of John selfishly thought good, it sucks you had to learn the hard way, but now you see why we all hate him, but the first thing that came to his mind was something unexpected yet expected all the same.

John was reminded of Alan again.

Except Alan had four older brothers to run to when the monsters got too big or too frightening.

…

Scott was going to kill him, “Park her over on the left and come in. We’ve got a lot to talk about. Bring inside whatever you think will help.”

EOS’s shrill John! ringed throughout the room, yet it was overruled swiftly. Fuse’s mouth was wide open, “For real?”

John couldn’t tell if he was losing the knots in his stomach or forming completely new ones, “Yes. Don’t do anything funny, though. I have eyes everywhere.”

Fuse gulped again, yet he was very business-like with his next words, “Of course.”

The line cut a millisecond before John wanted it to. John knew exactly why, “Listen, EOS--”

EOS was suddenly in his face, and it spoke miles at how far she’s come that she wasn’t blaring any alarms in anger, “No, you listen, John Tracy. I cannot believe the level of ignorance you are displaying!”

Gordon always joked about her being his daughter, but right now, John’s eyebrow twitched in annoyance at the feeling of being scolded by an overbearing mother, “I get this may seem like I’ve lost it--” jokes on EOS, who says he hasn’t at this point? “Listen, there’s nothing else left to go off of, and I know this makes me look like a crazy man desperate for information that might not even be there, but--”

“No buts!” EOS shrieked, “You told me that if you followed a sentence with a “but” that what you were about to say shouldn’t even be considered an option! What is making you throw all of my training out the window?!”

John’s mouth became very dry. This conversation was taking a very different turn, “Wait, EOS, why is this all about you suddenly--”

John was starting to regret giving her more mobility at the sight of her jamming her camera directly in his face even more, “It’s not just about me! This affects you too! You said you always based your decisions on the here-and-now, so I should too, so why am I the only one doing so?! You’ve seen what he’s capable of!”

John’s mind tended to be made of gears, and all of them began spinning at the same time. Dammit, he didn’t pick up on this because he didn’t even consider it a factor: EOS being scared. Hell, it wasn't even considered because the last time he remembered her being this scared was when she thought he was a threat during the first time they met (was it really that long ago?). She was scared that Fuse was going to hurt John like he hurt the rest of the astronaut’s family. Like he hurt Gordon.

The only difference is that nobody could get to John like they did Gordon, so that left the ginger at an impasse if the small chance that Fuse was here to hurt him came true.

John found it very hard to breathe all of a sudden. Closing his eyes and struggling to get enough air in, he realized a fundamental problem. EOS was based on data and things that have been recorded, and so far, the only things recorded about Fuse was that he was hellbent on hurting the Tracy family, a family that John was apart of.

She didn’t know any other way to feel about the guy, she didn’t have any other example.

John would love to be that way too, honestly, to just focus on the data. Numbers never tended to be wrong, and the idea of being a simple number-crunching bot would make life a shit-ton easier, but he can’t. He’s human. One that’s very much willing to go against the numbers and probabilities if it meant helping his family.

A rarity for John, to follow his gut and nothing else, but at the end of the day, he was a Tracy, and following his gut was as familiar to him as it was to name all of the immediate constellations in the summer’s nighttime sky, “EOS, I know it’ll be hard to believe me, hell, I’m having trouble believing myself, but Fuse isn’t here to hurt me. The here-and-now is different for reasons I don’t have enough time to properly explain, okay? If there’s anything to believe, believe in the trust you have in me to make the right decision like I always do.”

EOS made no noise, not even a flicker of her lens. He expected her usual sass, something along the lines of, Who says I trust you, moron? but what he got punched away what little air he managed to collect, “... Do you promise?”

That was the million-dollar question. Of course, he couldn’t. He didn’t like making promises after the age of 12. Too many probabilities, too many what-ifs, made promises somewhat of a theoretical impossibility. But just like that night on the roof with Alan, John was able to not think, “I promise, EOS. You wanted to go stargazing with me and Alan, right? Fuse might be able to let us do that again.”

‘Family’ was a Wild Card. Nothing was possible, yet everything was at the same time when it came down to it. ‘Family’ was what made Scott go from day to day without keeling over. ‘Family’ was what got Virgil to sleep at night when he just couldn’t by himself. ‘Family’ was how Gordon managed to keep smiling and joking despite everything in the world trying to make him stop. Hell, ‘Family’ was how their father kicked the word impossible right in the groin and live.

‘Family’ might have been why Alan was stuck in such a shitty situation, but it was also the reason the kid was willing and able to go that far in the first place. He learned that selflessness from his ‘Family’, after all.

John was intent to use that fact to the fullest.

EOS’s lights blinked in contemplation before she quietly spoke once more, “Do I have permission to shock him if he makes even the slightest suspicious movement?”

John rolled his eyes yet grinned all the same, “Sure, only just a little voltage, though. Right in the ass. Would be a nice pick-me-up after all of this.”

Well, despite the year they’ve had, John wasn’t aware EOS could snort. Another sign things might be going right for once.

The door swwwshed open and Fuse floated into where the two hyper-intelligent beings were hanging about and got straight to the point, “Thank you. I hope… I hope I don’t let you down.”

John found himself light as air, and it wasn’t just the zero-gravity this time, “Sounds good. Let’s get cracking.”

While the first thing he did back on Earth was scare his father and his immediate younger brother shitless, the way they and the rest of the family lit up at the plan he and Fuse came up with (after making sure nobody killed the dude, which was surprisingly more difficult than expected, and boy was it expected) made it all worth it.

Well, maybe the sight of Fuse occasionally jumping and yelping at a strange pinch in his bottom with no known cause was worth it too. John wouldn’t tell his brothers that, though, he was the responsible one, remember?

You always made me look at things differently, EOS. Thank you.

#fabfivefeb #fabfivefeb2020 #thunderbirds #thunderbirds are go #john tracy #alan tracy #eos #fuse thunderbirds #jeff tracy #my post #my fic #series: rules of alchemy

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goji-pilled · 5 years ago

Note

How about a prompt where Chat Noir is called out about his unwanted advances on Ladybug? Or about his behavior during Syren?

Thank you so much for giving me this prompt as I really had a funtime writing this!Tbh I'm very happy with this one and I think it's one of the better things I've written so far though I might have turned this into some very very salty fic that's rather OOC, especially Chat Noir/Adrien. But that's kind of the point so whatever💅

Btw I just want to mention this for people who want to write an angry comment because how dare I write Adrien salt but I absolutely love Adrien to pieces with every fiber of my being.

If you have more salt prompts or any prompts for that matter please don't be afraid to submit them :D

Anyway please enjoy!

A new Chat Noir

"Miraculous Ladybug!"

And with that all the damage Syren caused was undone. The magical ladybugs drained the city, rebuilt what was destroyed and brought back those who weren't able to escape the flood.

From what Ladybug could gather Ondine was reakumatized because someone wouldn't stop flirting with her boyfriend even though both of them made it clear how they're happy together. Of course Hawkmoth used her feelings against herself and sent his akuma which transformed Ondine into Syren once more.

And of course it was another akmua Ladybug fought on her own since her supposed partner had been refusing to help her for weeks now until she'd finally admit she loves him too.

As much as it hurt that her partner is abandoning her, she was at least still able to defeat the akumas even if she needed a temporary hero or many hours more than usually.

And just like that Chat Noir finally "joined" Ladybug once she was done with comforting Ondine. "So are you finally going to accept that we're made for eachother?", he asked with a smug grin probably thinking she'd finally give in.

Well that wasn't what she's about to give in for. Ladybug took a deep breath to calm herself down. She really didn't want to deal with him anymore, it's not like that Lila is already making her civillianlife hell but Chat Noir making her herolife this complicated really wasn't something she needed on her plate as well.

"Alright listen here Chat Noir.", Ladybug started, her voice was filled with calm anger, "I'm going tell you this one last time. I am NOT in love with you and you're continuous flirting and asking me out on dates is making me uncomftable. And you're ignoring your duties as a hero! Countless people died today!"

Chat Noir shrugged her off as if what she said was some kind of bad joke. "Bugaboo we're soulmates! We love eachother and everyone sees that but you! Besides your miraculous cure brought these people back."

Did she just heard him correctly? Did Chat Noir just shrugged off her feelings and the countless deaths that Hawkmoth caused today? Anger built up inside of her and this time Ladybug wouldn't hold back, "How dare you! How dare you act as if MY feelings don't matter! How dare you play off the serious damage that comes with drowning to death and remembering every damned second of it! These people are traumatized because they died a slow painful and fear filled death and you are standing here throwing a tantrum beause I won't date you?! How fucking dare you."

And then he didn't say anything. Of course he didn't now that he was confronted with his mistakes. It's something she was ised to by now seeing as how Adrien acts the same way.

While all of this happend a lot of people gathered around the heroes with one of them being Alya who was livestreaming the whole thing. Despite how Ladybug was no fan of the Ladyblog anymore, she had to admit that maybe this time it could be helpful for one last time so that the people would learn the truth about Chat Noir and their beloved "ladynoir" ship.

With a beep of her earrings the heroine was reminded how she'll detransform soon so Ladybug took off without another word.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

Chat Noir muttered the words to trigger his detransformation as soon as he jumped through the window of his room. Adrien now stood in Chat's place and started to angrily pace around his room. "I can't believe her! Why won't she understand?! We're soulmates, destined to be together!", Adrien growled. He was getting frustrated with Ladybug's stubborness.

The blond heard his kwami mumble something. "What was that Plagg?", he asked.

"I said I can't believe YOU!", Plagg hissed. He flew towards Adrien with a furious expression. "Adrien I was hoping you'd see your mistakes, I was hoping after Ladybug called you out on your behavior you would finally see your wrong ways but NO! Nothing! You blame everyone but yourself for your mistakes.", the kwami's voice became a little softer at the end and his expression was now pleading. "Please Adrien...try to understand that you're no better than your stalking fans right now. You're not acting like a hero anymore...not as Chat Noir and not as Adrien. You let people day today just like during Syren's first appearance.

You abandoned you partner and you did the same thing to pigtails. Both we're counting on you and you left them both. Please try to see how wrong all of this is..."

Adrien looked away for a moment just to make an angry frown, "That she's all alone is Marinette's own fault, she could've just taken the high road! And Ladybug wouldn't have to fight alone if sh-"

"- ENOUGH!", Plagg yelled. "God kid...I was too easy on you...I thought...what does it even matter now. This has been going on for far too long. Adrien your continuous harrassment of Ladybug and ignoring of you're hero duties is leaving me no choice.

You were the best Chat Noir I had...I'm sorry kid.", the tiny god now sounded bitter and shook his head. He stretched out one of his paws.

Adrien on the other hand was confused what was happening now. Plagg never had been this snappy no matter the situation and what was that about him having been the best Chat Noir so far? Adrien meant to ask his kwami about that and so many other things that swirled around in his head but never got the chance to do so as Plagg was faster in speaking up than him, "Adrien Agreste I, Plagg kwami of destruction and bad luck, deem you unworthy of wielding my miraculous or any miraculous ever again!"

Just like the ring on Adrien's hand started to just slip off his finger, nothing Adrien tried helped as the miraculous magically became to heavy and eventually fell on the floor. Desperatly he tried to grab the silver ring lying on the floor shimmering in the sunlight.

While Adrien failed to move the jewel even barely an inch, Plagg on the other hand easily picked it up. The green light shone for a moment and the ring was back in it's normal state in which it was black with the green paw on it.

"I'm sorry, I really am kid."

The teen's eyes widened as he gasped in shock and finally understood what happened just now. Plagg just took away his miraculous, his freedom, the only freedom he truly had.

"You can't do that! I'm Chat Noir! That's my miraculous and you can't take that away from me!", Adrien screamend in his rage.

Plagg just stared at him before phasing through the window and leaving Adrien behind.

Was the kwami happy with this?

No, not even in the slightest but Plagg had to think about Marinette and Paris. Tikki's bug deserves a partner she could trust and Adrien refused to be that. It's not like he gave the boy more than enough chances. Luckily the small god already had someone in mind to give the ring to. Someone that knew Marinette's struggle with her class and Lila, someone that suffered from the brat just like her and lost their girlfriend because of her, a person that was one of the few friends the girl had left and someone who had experience with heroing.

Now Plagg only needed to find them. Easier said than done.

-----------------------------------------------------------------

"What do you think Tikki?", proudly Marinette showed off her newest design to her kwami.

"Oh Marinette this is wonderful!", Tikki gushed in return.

Ever since Marinette let out everything she supressed in the matter of Chat Noir a few days ago she seemed happier. Like a huge burden was taken off her shoulders.

Too bad that an akuma alert interrupted Marinette's creative spree.

"Let's see if that cat is gonna help this time...or show up at all...", the ravenette muttered when she rolled her chair away from her desk.

Once transformed Ladybug made her way to where the akuma was spotted, a woman that was akumatized into a villain that creates gigantic vines and had the ability to control plants. After she made sure no civilians were in the area Ladybug was observing the akuma in order to find a strategy to defeat Hawkmoth's newest villain.

A soft thump caught Ladybug's attention and for a brief moment she wondered if maybe Chat Noir finally saw his mistakes and as soon as she turned around she was indeed met with a pair of catlike green eyes, yet it was one that didn't belong to her a partner but a new cat hero.

"I'm the new Chat Noir.", he nervously said but smiled at her nonetheless. He held out a hand for her to shake. Carefully she shook his hand and returned his smile. "It's nice to meet you Chat Noir. I'm looking forward to working with you."

His voice gained some confidence before he replied, "I'm looking forward to working with you too Ladydude."

#my writing #ml salt #adrien salt #seriously its really fucking salty amd ooc #adrien is litreally a fucking jackass #still i had fun #soooo where do I find some nice salt or sugar or fluff to read now?#miraculous ladybug

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hellzyeahwebwielingessays · 5 years ago

Text

The Not-So-Amazing Mary Jane Part 27: AMJ #3.1

Previous Part

Next Part

Master Post

*pinches bridge of nose* Oh my God this is so bad

I was hoping last issue was a fluke but no. This issue also demands we dissect the recap page.

Let me just spell out for you all some fundamental dos and don’ts of a recap page.

DO please recap the events that happened in prior issues, or relevant context from any other issues.

DON’T introduce new information.

Last issue was guilty of that. And now so is this issue, arguably moreso.

This recap provides us with the working title for the Mysterio biopic. That’s right, the very first time we learn the name of the movie is on this recap page not in the actual story!

Want to hear another oh so slightly important DON’T to bear in mind?

DON’T contradict the story you are recapping!

The recap claims funding dried up when the footage of Beck abusing a crewmember leaked. That wasn’t the situation in issue #2. MJ speculated that that might be part of the reason. But the bigger reason was that Beck had sold the investors one one type of film and delivered another.

Let’s also consider this line from the recap.

…video of Cage acting more like, well, Mysterio…

So the recap (and by extension Williams, the editors and presumably MJ herself) acknowledge that Mysterio being abusive is standard practice for him. Good to know they are aware he’s a horrible dangerous person but are just ignoring that then.

The recap also confirms for us that MJ is definitely the only person who knows ‘McKnight’ is really Beck. So absolutely everyone on the crew are unwittingly putting themselves at risk, and MJ is just letting that happen. If they knew they might not want to work with him for one reason or another, but MJ and Beck are knowingly withholding that choice from them. It doesn’t matter that they are only getting this shot because of Beck’s charity, at least some of them would think twice if they were aware of the potential scandal they were working on.

The recap also contradicts last issue’s recap in regards to the staff of the movie. Last time it was staffed by ‘outsiders’ but now it’s ‘newcomers, rejects and outsiders’. Which is it? I’m not claiming this is irreconcilable or that big of a deal storywise but it’s another example of the incompetent craftsmanship on this title. Not to mention this recap again omits the fact that active villains are working on the film.

The recap also implies Mary Jane is ‘invested’ in the film. Let me get this out of the way now to save myself time later. Mary Jane wouldn’t be invested in this movie, at least not the way the story is depicting her as.

To a large extent this touches upon earlier instalments where I explained why MJ wouldn’t sympathise with Beck, why she wouldn’t regard him as a kindred spirit and why she wouldn’t value her career above the greater good.

Having said all that I don’t feel it’s necessary to dedicate a whole instalment to why MJ wouldn’t be invested in the movie. The idea that MJ would endanger herself and others for the sake of an artistic project she believed in or was interested in is fucking ridiculous.

The idea she’d be chummy with Mysterio is fucking ridiculous given their shared history and what she knows about him. But, just as a little reminder, here is Daredevil v2 #8, where MJ basically says Beck deserves no pity.

As we open up the story proper, Mallorie rescues a veteran actor (Sonny Diperna) cast as the Vulture. Specifically she rescues him from the Scorpion who trashes the set.

This scene has an admittedly funny meta-gag about Michael Keaton having played both Adrian Toomes in the MCU and Birdman in the eponymous movie.

Mallorie is also pretty cool here. Initially I was going to complain about how unlikely it is for there to be two capable and resourceful civilians in this story (MJ and Mallorie). However, in thinking about it, MJ didn’t become resourceful in the first place due to rare life circumstances. Therefore it’s perfectly reasonable that Mallorie be similarly resourceful in a crisis. Plus her job on set opens up the idea that she knows how to muddle through a crisis.

On the next two pages Vulture menaces the set and we are more formally introduced to his Savage Six. They consist of Vulture, Scorpion, Stegron, Tarantula (I don’t know which one), Rhino and King Cobra.

Whilst Williams characterization of Beck is generally great (albeit too sympathetic) the same can’t be said of Vulture. Making art or artistic vision a theme for this series (and Mysterio specifically) is perfectly invited by the premise of the story. However, it’s very ill fitting for a character like Vulture. Vulture is absolutely not defined by that theme whatsoever. He’s an inventor. He’s a grumpy, bitter old man. He’s someone who’s got a chip on his shoulder, out to prove that he isn’t passed his prime.

With that said, what the Hell is up with this dwelling upon ‘art’ in these two pages?

Fleeing the chaos, Diperna mistakes the villains as part of the film; a fact Mallorie goes along with. As Kangaroo (who’s basically the muscle on set) gets defeated, MJ and Beck try to escape. MJ insists they get the staff to safety which Beck agrees with, deciding to act as a diversion. MJ is concerned for his life, but Beck assures her it’ll be fine. Just then he’s dragged away by Scorpion.

MJ seeks out Noah from last issue and drives his truck towards the Rhino.

The art isn’t exactly clear on what she does next, but the end result is that she’s gathered up all the cast and crew into the truck. Meanwhile, Beck begins to engage the six by conjuring his trademark green smoke.

Mallorie and Diperna make it to the truck, with MJ lowering the ramp to allow them access. She is visibly concerned for Beck as they move out of sight of one another. The cast and crew for their part are star struck by Diperna. Diperna explains that he came out of retirement to play the Vulture as it was something different from the roles he was usually typecasted as. He elaborates that the movie has Hollywood on edge and that the elites do not want the film to succeed. He joined the cast to help them out a bit.

Elsewhere, Mysterio duels the Savage Six. He uses his illusions to trick them into believing they are in the desert. As they begin miles of marching, Vulture speculates McKnight is a double agent for A.I.M. When the illusion ends they find themselves at a national park, prompting Vulture to swear vengeance.

Much later MJ laughs at Beck’s trick complimenting his cleverness. However, the event has prompted several cast and crew to leave and delayed shooting even more. Thankfully Beck’s found a safe new location to film at.

Sorry for that lengthy description. I just felt it was more efficient to get through that whole sequence and then break it down fully.

First of all, see all my prior comments about how bullshit it is for MJ to compliment, laugh at, be concerned for, or be sympathetic towards Beck. I also find Williams choice to frame him in a heroic, self-sacrificing light to be questionable. He is after all none of those things. Just the last issue the story called out the movie as a vanity project.

Additionally, this whole situation is exemplary of many of the points I made in parts 19-23. Here we have a major crisis with super villains on the rampage. Civilians and property are in jeopardy.

And Mary Jane’s abilities to help are limited. They are in fact incredibly reliant upon Mysterio covering her. Noticeably, he is the one actually fighting the Savage Six. MJ’s abilities to help are limited to shepherding and transporting people to safety. But she’s only able to do that with Mallorie’s help and the presence of a huge truck that was there purely by chance.

What If Beck wasn’t present, or worse, on the Six’s side? What if Mallorie hadn’t saved Diperna? What if there hadn’t been a truck? How would MJ have succeeded realistically? I’m not saying it’s impossible but her chances of survival were slim at best and would’ve been reliant upon finding other resources to exploit to her advantage.

Furthermore, the Knagaroo was injured in the fray. Maybe not seriously, but he was nevertheless injured and MJ was powerless to prevent that. He was lucky to have survived at all, now imagine if he was a normal security guard who had no experience fighting super powered type? How likely would he have been to live?

Now of course, the Six’s attack wasn’t exactly Mysterio’s fault. We could argue if Beck hadn’t endeavoured to make the film or omitted to include the Vulture the situation might’ve been avoided. However, this isn’t the first production in the Marvel universe to include ‘real’ super villains. Had the real Cage McKnight (or any director) made any movie featuring the Vulture at this time, it would’ve happened. In fact without MJ or Beck’s presence the cast and crew’s likely wouldn’t have fared as well.

Nevertheless, as far as MJ knows a similar situation could have occurred (or could still unfold) with beck and/or his criminal crew. Last issue she already saw Beck start a panic in the streets by throwing a tantrum. She doesn’t know all the crew so well as to guarantee they wouldn’t do anything nefarious. And in such a situation, her abilities to help would be extremely limited and situational, just like they were here. In fact if Beck has just explained to her how he single handily dealt with six super villains (who’re all stronger than him by the way) shouldn’t that spell out to MJ just how dangerous he is? That he could very easily ‘deal’ with her too if he wanted to and her chances of victory would be extremely slim?

Then we have the revelation that cast and crewmembers have left the project. The implication is that these crewmembers left because of the Six’s attack. Either they were hurt or more likely they were concerned about the risk. However, none of them were aware that they were already taking a big health/career risk by working under Mysterio himself; whilst he was stealing someone’s identity no less. MJ’s complicity in this deception is removing the agency of the cast and crew for no justifiable reason.

More problematically we don’t know if any of the crew who left were the active villains spoken of in issue #1. If they were then MJ has just allowed them to walk away without facing justice! And realistically given how they are fugitives and the film was a unique opportunity they are very probably going to go back to crime! But Mary Jane is laughing!

Now in the interests of fairness I should point out Beck did put himself at some risk for MJ and the others. This is one of the important factors that has led Peter to giving criminals a chance at redemption in the past. We looked at several of these back in part 10. However, noticeably most of those people weren’t as bad as Beck. They also hadn’t hurt Peter or his loved ones as personally the way Beck has from MJ’s point of view. There were also other extenuating factors going on that led to Peter giving them a shot. Often this entailed Peter knowing there was something or someone capable of reliably keeping the reforming criminals in check. Whether that was his own super human abilities or an official body monitoring them, the point is MJ hasn’t got anything like that in this situation.

Beck might’ve shown a glimmer of promise, but MJ is fully aware how villains like Venom and Sandman have displayed moments of self-sacrifice too. They’ve continued to do bad things in spite of that, or gone back on any promise they once showed. That doesn’t mean that Beck definitely would, but it’s a humongous gamble to take with no insurance.

And let’s remember what Beck was willing to sacrifice himself for? His cast and crew? No. His art. Look back at the page introducing the Six. Beck accuses them of being ‘Enemies of Art’.

Yes, the most generous interpretation is that Beck genuinely cares. But it’s also more than possible his care fro his cast and crew extends merely to their contributions to his vanity project.

On the next page we discover Beck’s new, safe location is something of a shithole.

Beck’s hired a new crew, but with everything that’s happened cuts will need to be made. MJ suggests they cut the romance scene with her character. Beck points out that it’s less screen time for MJ. MJ counters it doesn’t take away from the hero’s development and that it was always self-indulgent anyway. She follows up that they are making a biopic, not a fantasy film. Beck seems miffed at this point.

There is a fair bit to unpack here.

MJ is being self-sacrificing here, which is true to her character. She’s allowing her career opportunities to suffer in order for the project over all to succeed. This further hurts the argument that MJ is sticking around for the sake of her career.

But the context is confusing.

In ASM v5 #29 dialogue from the script was ripped straight from Webspinners #1-3.

This dialogue involved Beck talking to an old flame (Betsy Schneider), arguably the only woman he was ever in love with. She was noticeably not a super heroine, yet in the movie she was. I didn’t bother to bring that up before because, this being a vanity project, it’s not unbelievable that Beck would misrepresent his life inaccurately. ‘Look at me I got a sexy super hero for a girlfriend! Aren’t I cool!’.

MJ wouldn’t necessarily know the truth of Beck’s lover so I didn’t bring it up before. Here though, Williams is implying that she has sussed out that Beck was making that aspect up. At which point MJ should further realise the movie is an exercise in self-indulgence. She even says so in this scene.

More confusingly, in issue #1 Beck heavily implied to MJ that he was making this movie (and wanted her in it) largely because he felt he let Betsy down. That being the case, wouldn’t cutting out the romance undermine the point of the movie? Or at least undermine it from MJ’s POV? Honestly, that’s not that big of a deal though. Beck’s motivations for making the film have already been contradicted since issue #1 anyway; it’s already a goddam mess.

Furthermore, the scene specifically says romance ‘scene’, as int eh singular. Call me crazy but whenever there is a romance between a protagonist and a love interest in a film their romance isn’t confined to just the ONE scene. It’s usually a few scenes at least. In this case, MJ’s character exists in the story fundamentally to be Beck’s lover. She’s been given much more than that due to MJ’s suggestions in issue #1. But that was still the primary role she existed for. This means MJ’s role in the movie goes against the entire reason Beck included her. So why would he agree to that? Why would MJ suggest it if her investment hinges upon sympathy for Beck? She has basically taken Beck’s original intention for her character and gone from improving upon it to basically substituting all of his original intent for something else entirely.

She even calls its inclusion unrealistic. That could be a display of her trademark confidence (MJ is fully aware she is attractive) and/or a dig at Beck. Either way she’s tempting fate there. She already saw him throw a tantrum last issue and now she’s altered arguably the most important role in the movie to him and thrown shade at him over it. Real clever.

Additionally she refers to Beck’s role as the hero. This further contradicts issue #1’s assertions that the film was portraying Beck as a villain. It’s also rich for MJ to claim the romance should be cut as the film is a biopic. By that logic Beck shouldn’t be framed heroically, empathetically and the film should apologise for his acts of evil.

There is also a meta-argument to be made about Williams’ intentions with this page. It’s possible she’s critiquing the superfluous nature of so many romance stories in Hollywood films, arguably super hero films in particular. I don’t really have any praise or problems with that if it is the intent. Just thought I’d point it out.

As for the new crewmember…we’ll get to them later.

Over on the next page ‘McKnight’ tells Mallorie to give MJ a producer’s credit. Beck explains that the new location is an abandoned zoo, hence why it’s a shithole. He proceeds to introduce the new members of the crew.

The only thing of note is Beck giving MJ a producer credit. This raised an eyebrow from me because it epitomizes so much of MJ’s role in the story thus far.

MJ’s most famous profession is an an actress. In the majority of adaptations that’s her job. It was part of how she was introduced to us in ASM #43. It’s one of the things that thematically connects her to Spider-Man. It’s also through her renewed interest in acting that we got this story.

In fact MJ gave a heartfelt monologue specifically about acting in ASM v5 #25 and it was this monologue that led to her job on the biopic.

And yet in this story Mary Jane has spent very little time acting. The story itself has ruminated very little about her role as an actress or depicted her acting at all. Mysterio has been acting far more than Mary Jane has.

MJ’s main role thus far in the story has been as Beck’s right hand, as his producer.

Isn’t that rather problematic? That wasn’t the story as advertised in Spencer’s ASm run, nor even in the initial build up to AMJ’s release. It also goes against the themes that have traditionally defined Mary Jane, especially within the context of her actually working on a movie.

I have a tinfoil hat idea as to why this might be the case though. Here is an excerpt from an interview Williams gave prior to issue #1’s release:

It's set in Hollywood and it's a film production, and my work background is actually in film production. I lived in LA for a little while. So drawing upon the full arsenal of my Hollywood hot mess stories of what goes on on film sets, that has been an absolute delight. Because then I can also demonstrate how MJ is able to think on her feet and be like, okay, well let's not do the bad thing. Instead, let's be smart about it. Very cathartic, again. So cathartic.

-From Bleeding Cool

I’m not going to presume working in ‘film production’ means Williams was a producer per se. I’ve also been unable to find any evidence that she was a credited producer nor that she worked as an actress.

But it seems to me Williams in drawing upon her personal experiences is skewing MJ more towards the jobs she personally did. In other words Williams is writing MJ as closer to a producer than an actress. It comes across very much like Spencer/the editors handed her a certain premise and she then terra formed it into what she wanted to do, rather than what the direction he set up implied.

That is all total speculation on my part. I have no hard proof at all to corroborate that.

But if that is what’s going on, then I find it kinda shitty. It’s not exactly what the role asked of her as a writer and more poignantly it’s not what MJ’s history invites either. It’s not that MJ couldn’t be a decent producer it’s just that that isn’t where the thematic resonance for her character lies. At least, not within the context of making a movie.

Let’s leave it there for now and continue next time.

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