#I’m sorry not sorry but the podcasters were freaking mean this morning

[remedy7411]

I keep thinking about that one player video where they were asked to create a perfect team and Otter said Miro for his first defenseman without hesitating and then how he had to watch him go down in right in front of the net and how he missed the puck that hurt Miro and just how they all kind of fell apart after losing Miro.

[chloebeale]

honestly i couldn’t think of a caption, so there’s a little bechloe drabble under the cut instead. feel free to enjoy the gif set with or without!

(approx. 1k words)

***

Sure, maybe the Bellas are three time collegiate a cappella champions with a surprising amount of glory and notoriety to their name—the a cappella world is...weirdly way more expansive than Beca would’ve ever imagined—and sure, maybe they have found themselves invited to entertain the troops during the USO tour alongside other (way more legit) groups (no, bands. Legit bands.), but even now, even after touching down in their first destination of Cádiz, Beca still...doesn’t really get the hype.

Performing with the Bellas is fun, they really are her family at this point, and Beca enjoys singing alongside each and every one of them, but she really doesn’t understand how this level of acknowledgment has happened—or why in the hell they have the a cappella world’s most annoying podcasters following them across a freaking ocean to keep up with their lives as if they are literal celebrities or something.

Still, over the years, as irritating as they may be, John and Gail have become something of a staple in the Bellas’ lives, two people Beca has kind of just given up on trying to avoid—after being followed to work every morning, it becomes difficult to really give a damn anymore, anyway. They are technically not harming anybody, so it is easier at this point to just do what they ask, which is how Beca now finds herself seated in front of their camera, brows lifting in response to the two excited faces beaming back at her from behind their equipment.

“So, Beca,” Gail begins enthusiastically, “What do you hope to gain from this tour?”

It is a simple question, in reality a pretty broad one, too, but Beca cannot help but find herself momentarily stumped for a response. Honestly, after spontaneously quitting her job and essentially finding herself kind of stuck, she really does not have any expectations. This tour had simply been a distraction for her, something for her to do so as not to find herself crawling back to the office and begging the BFD higher ups to take her back… She cannot very well say that, though. Can she?

Evidently noting a lack of input, Gail adds helpfully, “Any dreams? Fears?”

“Fears,” John echoes. “Of course you have fears, women are scared of everything.”

Although Beca only responds with a neatly arched brow, she notes the immediate look of disdain to pull itself across Gail’s features in response to her co-host. “Uh, I don’t know,” Beca says flatly, “I’m not scared of anything.”

“Really?” John questions curiously, mouth twisting into something of a knowing smirk as he exchanges a brief glance with the blonde seated beside him. Beca can see the same look drawing itself onto her face, too, and finds herself entirely confused. “Not even bear traps?”

The way Beca’s short, black polished nails clamp onto the arm of her seat is something she rectifies quickly, and silently prays has gone unnoticed by the two eager sets of eyes piercing into her from behind the camera. What do bear traps have to do with this, anyway? It is not like they are at Aubrey’s campsite from Hell anymore, after all.

“Bear traps?” Beca echoes with as much nonchalance to both her voice and expression as she can manage. She quickly clears her throat. “No, they’re whatever.”

In response, John and Gail only continue to watch her expectantly, and the amusement painting itself onto John’s weathered face tells her he knows something she doesn’t. Sure, these two show up everywhere, but Beca knows for a fact that they had not been at the retreat, and despite the fact that she’d never explicitly said so, she has always been under the assumption that there is a mutual agreement among the Bellas to never bring up that particular incident again—ever. To anyone.

Beca’s eyes narrow in on his expression, before adding in that same nonchalant tone, “I mean, I don’t, like, love them, but I’m not,” she air-quotes the next word, “scared of them.”

By now, Gail’s subtle smirk has settled into something of an almost sinisterly kind smile, though John looks just as outwardly smug as he had done before. “That’s not what a little red birdy told us,” he muses proudly, and Beca’s nostrils instantly proceed to flare.

A little birdy.

A little red birdy. Fucking Chloe.

“Chloe, yeah?” She says in a blank tone, lips pursing in defeated thought. She stares upward in a half eye roll, head shaking disapprovingly. “Dude, I swear, if she wasn’t my girlfriend…”

The good thing about a John and Gail interview is that the Bellas are under no actual obligation to see it through, so with a scoff and another more obvious roll of her eyes, Beca pushes herself up from the seat, deciding that their pointless interview is effectively over.

While Gail attempts to reel her back in, John says in an amused tone, “Watch where you’re going, little woman. You might run into a… Bear trap!”

The only reason Beca jumps in response is because of his increasing volume and emphasis, not because she cannot even hear the very term since the unfortunate incident at the retreat, duh. Without looking back to even glare in response to the loud, obnoxious laughter echoing from the hosts, Beca grumbles petulantly and tugs open the door, closing it loudly behind her.

“Hey!” Chloe’s voice is the next thing Beca hears, head lifting to take in the sight of those vibrant eyes shining excitedly. Beca only glares in response, though Chloe doesn’t seem to notice. She simply rocks on her heels, meeting Beca with natural Chloe Beale enthusiasm. “That was fast. Their questions are kind of weird, huh?”

Rather than respond to the question, Beca approaches her girlfriend with folded arms, the look of helplessness on her face entirely unintentional. “Dude, you told them about the retreat?” Chloe only stares at her curiously, so Beca adds in a lower tone, “You know… the bear trap thing.”

Chloe’s lips pull inward then, and Beca cannot tell whether she is trying to bite back a grin or if she looks kind of...embarrassed? She does note that no verbal response comes, though, and that serves as confirmation for Beca to release an annoyed groan, shoulders slumping defeatedly.

“I thought we were never bringing that up again?” she half-whines, hand rising to brush her fingers through her straightened hair. As it falls, her palm easily covers her eyes, and Beca releases a long sigh through her nostrils.

Familiar fingers wrap comfortingly around her wrist, and Beca’s lids flutter open to watch Chloe’s apologetic expression as she gently pulls her hand away from her face. She is kind of annoyed, obviously, but as her gaze meets that overwhelmingly calming blue, fingers parting to make room for Chloe’s to naturally slot between them, her own expression melts into something a little less angry, a little more calm.

“I’m sorry,” Chloe pouts, thumb brushing instinctively over the back of Beca’s knuckles. “It just slipped out.”

Despite the look of disdain Beca had been wearing only moments before, there is just something about that look on Chloe’s face, that adorable, apologetic wide-eyed stare that causes Beca to easily melt, for her shoulders to relax and her defenses to fall. Chloe has always had that kind of spell on her, truth be told.

It makes it hard to stay mad at her for long, no matter the circumstance.

She stares for only a moment longer, before easily relenting with a small puff of air through her nostrils. “Whatever.” She doesn’t even know why she does it, but Beca finds herself lifting their connected hands toward her mouth, lips brushing reassuringly over the back of Chloe’s fingers. “Just...don’t tell anybody else, yeah?”

The guilt written all over Chloe’s face begins to melt away at that, and is instead overtaken by a small, soothing smile. She uses the grip she has on Beca’s hand to easily tug her closer, and Beca does not resist as Chloe’s lips, familiar like home, push a delicate peck to her own. “Okay,” Chloe nods, gently nudging the tip of her nose to Beca’s. “Deal.”

[sagamemes]

the sheridan tapes  📼  part one.   here and under the cut, you can find a little under 120 lines of dialogue from the horror podcast the sheridan tapes, specifically from episodes one to three, edited for roleplay purposes.  tw: police, murder, supernatural elements, mentions of apocalyptic scenarios, near death experiences, injuries, vehicular crash, recreational drug and alcohol use.

❝  jesus, [name]. you’re not making this easy, are you?  ❞

❝  makes you wonder... do these things follow me because i chase them, or were they always following me?  ❞

❝  darkness and complete disorientation does a number on the human brain.  ❞

❝  i don't think he was a werewolf.  ❞

❝  i’d call it the customer service smile. you know, the one that says  ‘ thank you for shopping with us, please die now ’.  ❞

❝  i’ve found the more showy the text, the less impressive the actual phenomena.  ❞

❝  my job here is kind of… shaky at the moment.  ❞

❝  [name] was also engaged in the study of the impossible in his free time.  ❞

❝  so it’s just me who drives you up the wall then?  ❞

❝  well, you’ll be happy to hear i haven’t been having any fun. no weed, no ghosts.  ❞

❝  there hasn’t been a new lead on her case in more than half a year.  ❞

❝  so here i am, wrapped up in a blanket, staring at my little fireplace, so bored i actually decided to call my sister for once.  ❞

❝  it’s a little town near bandon. very little. nice little mini-market, and that’s about it.  ❞

❝  i doubt i’ll sleep much tonight. that’s okay. i just feel like looking at the stars for a while.  ❞

❝  it's probably for the best. i am simultaneously exhausted from the drive and absolutely wired from the coffee.  ❞

❝  i wonder if there will still be ghosts out there when that happens?  when the earth is gone?  ❞

❝  glad to hear you’re enjoying yourself, then.  ❞

❝  knowing doesn’t make things any easier, but it does make them a little less frightening.  ❞

❝  that’s all just a lazy way of saying that the real explanation is too difficult—or too horrible—for them to accept.  ❞

❝  it almost killed me, but in the end it settled for putting me in pt for a year while i figured out how to use my hands again.  ❞

❝  he muttered something about my time being up. or maybe he said it wasn’t up.  ❞

❝  i don’t really care that i didn’t get any writing done today.  ❞

❝  nothing. not a single idea worth writing down, no itch i needed to scratch or question i needed to answer.  ❞

❝  guess there really is no such thing as bad press.  ❞

❝  i have no idea what a writer’s  ‘ process ’  usually looks like, but i’m pretty sure it’s not this.  ❞

❝  see what i have to deal with?  god… siblings, am i right?  ❞

❝  what can i say?  i have a soft spot for gothic architecture.  ❞

❝  computers have never been very good at reconciling paradoxes.  ❞

❝  they’re pretty much over funding my little expeditions.  ❞

❝  that kind of smile doesn’t normally show that many teeth.  ❞

❝  you know, that’s only scary the first few times you do it.  ❞

❝  one day, it will be dead. one day all the stars will burn out, go dark and silent. one day, everything will be so dark and so cold that no new stars can ever be born. the old ones will blink out one by one, like candles going out, and then… nothing. silence. darkness. void.  ❞

❝  the simplest explanation is almost always the right one.  ❞

❝  i don’t remember getting in my van, putting the key in the ignition, or speeding away from that house, but i must have.  ❞

❝  no, no, i’m fine, i’m fine, just go bother someone else.  ❞

❝  i haven’t eaten, moved, or written anything all day.  ❞

❝  but maybe that's just the fact that it is two in the morning and my brain is running mostly on caffeine.  ❞

❝  given how good a [job] he is, i know it’s not the first time he’s done it.  ❞

❝  i escaped, but i knew that whatever was in that house has just marked me as prey.  ❞

❝  calm down. think. you’re just going to confuse yourself.  ❞

❝  just wanted to tell you a couple of us are headed out to marvin’s for drinks if you want to come.  ❞

❝  one of the most disappointing things about living in america is the lack of genuinely haunted houses. out of all the supposed haunts i’ve visited, maybe one in ten seems like the real deal.  ❞

❝  sounds… peaceful. not many distractions, then?  ❞

❝  something tells me this tape wasn’t played in court.  ❞

❝  one of the neighbours must have called 911.  ❞

❝  my infamous accident. it almost killed me.  ❞

❝  i just woke up to footsteps in the kitchen. i don’t know who, or what, but there’s someone in here with me!  ❞

❝  could you shut the door on your way out, please?  ❞

❝  uh, wasn’t expecting to hear from you so soon.  ❞

❝  the fire that i said went out?  yeah, it just started burning again.  ❞

❝  so i asked him to lie.  ❞

❝  it'd really be just a few of us. maybe me and [name] and one or two other tagalongs…  ❞

❝  apparently, the press had a lot of questions too.  ❞

❝  i’ve driven more than 8 hours and drunk enough bad coffee to give an elephant heart palpitations. i’m sure as hell going to get my money’s worth.  ❞

❝  oh sorry, am i bothering you now? what happened to  ‘ call anytime you want, [name] ’ or,  ‘ you’re always welcome here, [name] ’ ?  ❞

❝  i’ve forgotten to charge my phone. again.  ❞

❝  i… think i’m going to turn around now.  ❞

❝  well sorry if i wanted to have a nice talk with my sister for a change.  ❞

❝  will it just be left there forever? our legacy? look upon our works, ye mighty, and despair?  ❞

❝  no matter how far away from home you are, no matter how different the constellations might look from where you’re standing, you can always look up on a clear, dark night and feel like you’re about to fall right into it—the terrifying, endless expanse of nothingness.  ❞

❝  i know authors can do some crazy things to get out of writer’s block, but i’ve never heard of one resorting to arson.  ❞

❝  why do you always think there’s something wrong?  ❞

❝  ours is not to question why, ours is but to digitize and stay the hell out of trouble.  ❞

❝  so let’s try walking backwards. just keep an eye on it.  ❞

❝  i got lucky. or maybe i was just fast enough to escape.  ❞

❝  maybe there are secret passages behind the walls and corridors.  ❞

❝  no matter how far i walked, i couldn’t find the way i came in.  ❞

❝  well, i /know/ i’ve had worst nights. i just can’t think of any right now.  ❞

❝  i do want you to have fun, [name], i just don’t want you to get yourself killed doing it.  ❞

❝  i mean, obviously, i do care, that’s the whole reason i made this trip. to get away from the noise and focus.  ❞

❝  i might have… forgotten to tell anyone where i was going.  ❞

❝  before i get started, there’s just one thing i need to say. i have absolutely no patience for the unexplained, or the things people call  ‘ unexplainable ’,  ‘ supernatural ’, or  ‘ paranormal ’.  ❞

❝  i told [name] that i needed to get out, to get inspired.  ❞

❝  okay, if someone is messing with me, they’re going to be very sorry, very quickly.  ❞

❝  [name] lied his ass off to save yours.  ❞

❝  a crash like that does funny things to your head.  ❞

❝  i still don’t know how he got there without me noticing.  ❞

❝  any plans i had to travel abroad went up in smoke.  ❞

❝  i thought of pulling out the bad cop routine.  ❞

❝  strange how something so dead can be so beautiful.  ❞

❝  it hated me:  hated what i do, and more than that, hated who i am.  ❞

❝  lots of tall tales. and more than a few ghost stories.  ❞

❝  oh good, you’re still here!  ❞

❝  reviewers absolutely grilled it:  said it was a nonsensical rip off of the dark tower, whatever that means.  ❞

❝  i jumped out the window. cut my hands on the glass, but thankfully not bad enough to need stitches  ❞

❝  i told her, tonight.  ❞

❝  for a minute, i wondered if that would really be so bad. it was a fitting way to go, given my… well, everything.  ❞

❝  i suppose that’s a universal constant—maybe the only one.  ❞

❝  i never let myself get this turned around. especially not at night.  ❞

❝  i don’t know if it’s actually haunted. but if not, then it was sure as hell convincing.  ❞

❝  i’m not one of those people who thinks she’s the spawn of satan or something ridiculous like that.  ❞

❝  unless i’m prepared to accept that she was murdered by something that crawled out of a funhouse mirror, this isn’t much help with the case, either.  ❞

❝  i have to try and work some actual cases the rest of the time. you know, cases that might have some answers i can find.  ❞

❝  it's cold, damp, and dark as night. i'm in my element, at least.  ❞

❝  your place is waiting for you.  ❞

❝  yeah, i’m all good. great… hanging in there, you know?  one day at a time.  ❞

❝  oh, i see you. you think i’m still scared of [thing], huh?  think you can freak me out?  ❞

❝  trust me, i’ve had a hell of a day, and you do not want to mess with a pissed off…  ❞

❝  and tell my sister i'm sorry.  ❞

❝  oh god, it's cold.  ❞

❝  the night sky really is beautiful out here.  ❞

❝  tell him he shouldn’t have been such a good liar.  ❞

❝  i’ve been listening to this for the last two weeks now.  ❞

❝  it’s not even that i’m having bad ideas. i’m not having any at all.  ❞

❝  can’t get away from the work, no matter what i do.  ❞

❝  i made sure i switched off my phone before i came up here, just in case.  ❞

❝  god, these things smell of weed.  ❞

❝  yeah, well… just wanted to make sure you’re okay, you know?  ❞

❝  [name] is dead. that's all there is to it.  ❞

❝  no, i need to get out of here. it’s been a long day.  ❞

❝  a lot of the art i found was just paintings of a night sky full of stars.  ❞

❝  my job is to look the facts dead in the face and find an explanation. one that will hold up in a court of law.  ❞

❝  personal and career choices, i guess you’d call them.  ❞

❝  damn. i could’ve sworn i felt something strange about this place when i hiked through this morning… or maybe it was a different part. hard to tell this late at night, anyway.  ❞

❝  well, let’s just say a middle-aged man-child running out panicked and tearing at his eyes would hardly be a marketable image.  ❞

❝  i didn’t mind that i’d be alone—i always expected that to be how i went.  ❞

❝  i’m sure that’s on my personnel file by now, as if it could get any more problematic.  ❞

[dirtydobrik]

a week apart - d.d.

plot: you and david are dating and you’re also a YouTuber. you come up with a video idea of spending a week apart from each other with no communication and make a bet to see who will be better at doing so.

requested: yes!  i received two different requests about essentially the same concept: 1. can u do one where the reader and david see who is better at ignoring the other lol idk of it makes sense but and 2. can u do an imagine where the reader and david have a bet to see who can ignore the other the longest ?? i feel like you might’ve done it before so sorry if u have lol

author’s note: hi! this was requested anonymously so hopefully it was something similar to what you wanted. 

if you want to send in a request for an imagine, send me a message! i am super behind on requests right now but i have a few pieces in progress that i am working on. i am hopefully back to posting daily because i am trying to get caught up. 

word count: 1400

masterlist

"Okay, just hear me out," you started and David rolled his eyes. He knew you had a crazy idea for your next video and he had a feeling he wouldn't like it. "What if we tried to spend a week without each other?"

"Babe, why on Earth would I agree to that?" David questioned, grabbing your hand and pulling you on to the couch next to him.

"I think it'll be an interesting video. You and Jason talked about doing something similar on the podcast a while back and I think we should try it." You gave him a small pout and puppy dog eyes that he couldn't say no to.

"Fine. When do you want to start?" he asked.

"Right now," you stated, like it was obvious.

"But you promised you'd be my date to the movie premiere on Thursday," David reminded you, and you sighed. You had agreed to do that and it was only Tuesday.

"Okay. We'll start on Sunday."

The week passed by slowly and David secretly hoped you would have forgotten about your video idea. But on Sunday morning, you rolled over to face David since you spent the night at his house.

"Good morning," he mumbled, leaning in and giving you a kiss.

"Morning, bub," you smiled, curling into him to cuddle for a few minutes.

"What do you want to do today? I got a good amount content yesterday so I don't need to film."

"Did you forget about my video? We're starting today," you smirked and David let out a groan.

"No, I didn't forget. I was just hoping you would forget."

"Absolutely not," you said as your fingers ruffled his messy hair.

You got out of bed and took a quick shower before making breakfast, David joining you in the kitchen after his shower. You set your camera up to introduce the video.

"Hi guys, welcome back to my channel. Today's video is a little bit different, it's going to be vlog style. David and I are going to try and see if we can ignore each other for an entire week," you started, before leaning in closer to the camera and dropping your voice into a low whisper, "In case you guys didn't know I'm dating David Dobrik."

"I am completely against this idea," David added, but you brushed him off.

"Anyways, let's go over the rules. Number one, no communication of any kind. This means no calls, no texts, no DMs, and no trying to talk to each other through other people. Like we have Natalie pass messages for the other to get. Number two, we can't hang out together or be seen in the same place together. And number three, if an emergency happens, we have a code to send to know that it's serious and we call a pause," you explained, David pouting the entire time.

"Do we have to do this?" he groaned, and you nodded.

"Oh, and also, we aren't telling anyone that we're doing this challenge so hopefully they freak out and think we broke up so I get some good clickbait," you chuckled and David rolled his eyes.

"Should we make this a bet?" David asked, needing motivation to participate in this video.

"Sure. The loser has to give the winner twenty thousand dollars, and the winner gets to plan date nights for a month." You pulled your phone out to check the time, 12:48pm. "Okay, guys. Starting now, David and I can't interact with each other for a week. Bye, bub, see you on Sunday," you said, waving goodbye to him before turning your camera off to say a real goodbye to him.

You wrapped your arms around him and stood on your toes to give him a kiss. "Miss you already," he whispered, hugging you tightly.

"I love you. See you soon." You gave him another kiss before heading out to your car and driving away.

"Okay guys, I just got to my apartment and usually I send Dave a text that I made it home safely, but I can't do that. So David if you're watching this, I'm home," you said into your camera, and you were surprised that David hadn't lost already. He was ridiculously clingy and hated being away from you.

The next time you took you camera out was at 3am. "Guys, it's 3am and I can’t sleep because I don’t have David to cuddle with," you pouted. "I'm starting to regret wanting to do this and it hasn’t even been twenty-four hours. How am I going to do this for a whole week?"

On Monday you went out to brunch with Corinna and then shopping with Carly that afternoon, and you knew David was busy on set all day, so you didn’t really have time to miss him. But around dinner time, you wished you could bring him dinner and talk to him about your day. And again, you had trouble falling asleep because you had gotten so comfortable cuddling with David.

Tuesday went by similar to Monday. You hung out with a few of the girls and went hiking with Jeff, knowing David was busy and wouldn't have been able to talk to you all day anyways.

Wednesday was when fans started asking questions about your relationship. They knew both of you were in LA but you hadn't been seen together in a few days and it was starting to worry them. A few of your friends saw the tweets about it and asked you questions, but you lied and said you two were just busy. They were suspicious but not to the point where they were worried. They knew the fans spread rumors like wildfire.

Early Thursday morning was when you heard a knock on the door to your apartment. It was just after 2am so you grabbed your camera, assuming it was David. And sure enough, he was standing in the hallway, awkwardly shifting his weight from foot to foot as he swayed. You swung the door open, David tackling you into a tight hug and peppering your face with kissed.

"I missed you so much, baby," he murmured between kisses.

"What are you doing here?" you asked, pointing the camera at him. "It's the middle of the night and we're only halfway through the week."

"I couldn't do it. I missed you too much," David confessed, holding his hands up in a surrender.

"I missed you, too," you said, turning the camera off and pulling David into your bedroom.

You woke up with David next to you and let out a sigh of relief as you curled up next to him.

After getting breakfast and catching up on the last few days, you took your camera out to record the ending of the video. "So, as you guys just saw, David was the first to crack. What do you have to say for yourself, babe?"

"I admit defeat. I guess I just can’t stay away from my girl for too long," he said and you blushed at his words.

"What did you learn from this challenge? Because I learned that I can't fall asleep with you when I know you're in LA."

"I learned that it's impossibly hard to go out of my way to not talk to you. Like anytime something happened and my first instinct was to call or text you I had to tell myself that I couldn't do it. It got to the point where I made a note in my phone of things I wanted to tell you," he rambled and then suddenly stopped, like he had just processed what you said. "Wait, you can't sleep without me?" he asked and you nodded.

"No, I've gotten so used to cuddling with you and falling asleep next to you that I can't do it anymore."

"Aw, someone's whipped for their boyfriend," David teased.

"Says the one who came over in the middle of the night," you retorted with a sarcastic smile. "By the way, I believe you owe me, you know, since you lost the bet."

"Isn't getting my love and affection and multiple FaceTimes a day enough?" David whined.

"Nope." You shook your head, before leaning over and giving him a quick peck. "You still owe me twenty thousand dollars. Getting your love and affection and FaceTimes back are just an added bonus."

[damienthepious]

okay at least one of y’all guessed Scattered so CONGRATULATION, FRIENDO. also. jesus fuck i’m sorry i keep doing this. ONE more chapter. ONE more. I think.

Scattered On My Shore (chapter 18)

[Ch 1] [Ch 2] [Ch 3] [Ch 4] [Ch 5] [Ch 6] [Ch 7] [Ch 8] [Ch 9] [Ch 10] [Ch 11] [Ch 12] [Ch 13] [Ch 14] [Ch 15] [Ch 16] [Ch 17] [ao3] [Ch 19]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla, Sir Damien/Rilla, Lord Arum & The Keep

Characters: Rilla, Lord Arum, Sir Damien, The Keep

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, Lizard Kissin’ Tuesday, Pre-Relationship, (for the three of them. it’s established r/d), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Injury, Injury Recovery, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, (this will also be), Enemies to Lovers, (for damien and arum eventually lol), Mutual Pining, canon typical Arum ignoring feelings

Fic Summary: Strange things wash up out of the lake near Rilla’s hut, on occasion. But this monster… this monster is certainly the strangest.

Chapter Summary: The Lord of the Swamp has returned home! An exciting event for all who live there, certainly. Arum's humans want some assurance that he will still be safe, when they leave him to return to their own home.

Chapter Notes: There's some discussion of mental health, depression, and suicidal ideation in this chapter, mostly dealing with past events in the fic. Take care of yourselves! I love you! aaaaaa kinda freaking out we're so close to the end now aaaaaaaa im. not ready

~

They stay an extra day. Just to be certain that the Keep's influence and healing are truly going to stick, Amaryllis says, but none of them are fooled.

Arum does not feel as if their time together is passing correctly; every moment feels distinctly present, his awareness heightened by their closeness and by the Keep's consciousness at his edges again, but time rushes past with the speed of a hunted hare. Arum does not know how to dig his claws into this day and make it stay, if only for a moment or so longer.

When they pull themselves from embrace in the late morning, they eat together again (as close by his side as the night previous, and Arum feels warm from his core). After, they explore the greenhouse more deeply, and Damien recites something that bounces such with clever rhyme that Arum can hardly keep up with the content rather than the form.

He takes them outside, then, because they are curious about the swamp itself, and because Arum cannot seem to deny them their curiosities. He cannot seem to, he does not want to- the fact that they wish to know his home is so intoxicating a realization that he can hardly prevent himself from gripping their hands and rushing to show them every single thing that they could possibly have an interest in.

The Keep opens the way, letting them out at the front, near one of the wider ponds, and-

And the noise strikes Arum first. Instinctively he spreads his arms, pressing Amaryllis and Damien behind himself, safe between his back and the Keep, and then he blinks and realizes what, precisely, he hears. What he sees.

His denizens. The assembled masses of the swamp, flocks and families all gathered on the water and among the low foliage and up in the branches, the venomous monkeys interspersed with brightly colored birds, egrets and lynxfish at the edge of the water, frogs and snakes and chittering rodents, every single beast with a touch of his Keep at its heart-

They have amassed here, outside his home, and their rustling feathers and trilling peeps and croaks and squawks, their hooting and scuffling all slowly die off as each one of them turns their gaze upon him.

And then, after that pause, that silence, the crowd erupts.

It is a decidedly cheerful eruption, but Arum still takes a step backward at the sudden noise, pressing the humans back with him as the denizens of his swamp give one enormous, celebratory noise.

Arum can feel the Keep behind him, all smugness and delight, and as the cheering begins to subside, a suspiciously familiar bird alights at to his left, its head tilted to fix him with bright, beady eyes.

"A-ah." Arum stares at the heron, and he hears Amaryllis give a stunned, breathy laugh behind him. "You- ah. What did I say… spread the word if you must," he mutters. "I see you took that instruction quite to heart, yes?"

The heron chuffs, and then preens as if distracted, and Arum laughs as well as the crowd fades back to silence entirely, staring up at him with obvious expectation.

"Er- they seem," Damien laughs nervously when Arum glances over his shoulder to meet the poet's eyes. "Rather- rather exuberant, I should say."

"I mean, yeah, but can you blame them?" Amaryllis adds.

"No, not at all, it is simply- I was not expecting-" Damien laughs again, and this time when Arum glances to check his expression the poet looks almost shy. "It is simply that… I am quite glad to know that you are so beloved, Arum."

Arum blinks, and then he glances back towards the creatures amassed, surrounding. He sighs, but- he cannot quite bury the wry smile that curls his mouth as he steps forward again, allowing his cape to billow behind him.

He waits for a moment, allowing the excited tittering to die back down after his movement, and then he straightens his spine.

"I suppose the lot of you were eager to see proof with your own eyes, rather than rumor on wing." He shoots a glance towards the heron, who makes an admirable show of puffing up its feathers with pride. "Well," he says slowly. "You may lay your fears to rest. I was separated from my purpose by treachery, kept distant by injury, but-" his voice fails, an unexpected hitch in his throat, and he shakes his head quickly. "But I- I am home. I have come home, and I will not be parted from it again. I- I apologize, for the length of my absence-"

He hears the humans behind him make simultaneous disapproving noises, and he shakes his head again.

"It was never my intention to be kept away for so long." He grits his teeth. "It was never my intention to be away at all. Though-"

He can feel the slight tickle of heat, the radiant warmth of the humans behind him, the safety of their presence at his back.

"Though I will admit that the distance has given me a rather inarguable dose of perspective . The Swamp of Titan's Blooms will be reassessing certain alliances and enmities in the near future," he says in a growl, "but- for the moment, it is sufficient that I am home. I will not be torn away again."

The heron cries out, and Arum attempts not to appear startled when the assembly of his denizens takes up the cheer in response. He manages, barely, not to allow his frill to flare. It ruffles at his neck instead, and he grumbles as the noise fades off again. The heron squawks a question as he is opening his mouth to continue, a pointed inquiry, and Arum bristles, but-

Well. The question is a fair one. Arum himself barely understands how this particular arrangement is even possible.

"These- they are-" Arum pauses. He swallows, and then he half turns to glance back towards the humans, and then he quickly turns his attention back to the front as the looks on their faces break through his control, causing his frill to flare partway. The assembled beasts shuffle, slightly, but they do not chitter or call through his brief silence, and he squares his shoulders. "Amaryllis and- and Sir Damien," he says. At the edge of his vision Amaryllis waves, the absurd, charming creature, and he feels Damien stiffen at the further attention. He inhales, and then he- he reaches back, opening his palms without looking behind himself again, and before he can harbor even a moment of doubt he feels their fingers twine with his own, and they step up beside him properly.

Where they belong, he thinks.

"They are… they are my… consorts," he tries, eying the pair of them, and Amaryllis raises an eyebrow with a wide grin. Damien flushes dark, which- is interesting. Worth revisiting at a later time. They do not seem… bothered, that he would claim them as his, however, so he exhales slowly and turns his gaze back towards the assembled creatures. "They are honored guests, under my protection. It was their efforts which allowed me to return to you as quickly as I have. It was their efforts which allowed me to return to you at all."

He pauses again, and the creatures titter with varying levels of excitement and confusion and enthusiasm, and Arum sticks his snout in the air.

"That will be all, then," he snaps quickly, turning as the Keep dutifully reopens a portal for the three of them. "This has taken rather enough of your time- and mine. This absence will not be repeated. Return to your homes and lives and all will be taken care of henceforth, good day."

Amaryllis and Sir Damien laugh rather enthusiastically in his direction once they are safely hidden within the Keep again. Arum attempts to maintain a dignified level of fury, but-

Wretched creatures. Amaryllis snorts into her hand and nearly doubles in half, and Damien makes a noise that approaches a squeak, and Arum cannot help but fall to laughter of his own as he gathers them into his arms.

~

Amaryllis' expression begins to cloud over with concern partway through dinner, and Arum is wary from the moment he notices the change to the moment when she finally opens her mouth after the meal is done.

"So," she begins, and Arum attempts to stifle his instinct to bolt. "I wanted to… to talk to you about what happens after we leave," she says.

Arum ducks his head slightly, sighing.

"There is no cause for concern, Amaryllis," he murmurs. "I can apply some salves well enough on my own, and obviously you need not fear harm to your species from my hand, either. Provided no knights come traipsing through my swamp, that is," he says, gesturing lazily. "I have no interest whatsoever in returning to the same work that nearly killed me. As far as I am concerned, this war did kill me. I will not be dragged into it again."

Amaryllis winces. Damien's lips press tight together, and he squeezes Amaryllis' hand for a moment before she releases her grip on him, and shifts closer to Arum's seat instead. "That- that's kind of exactly what I wanted to talk about. Arum, I… I need you to tell me you're going to take care of yourself. That you're not-"

"I said, not moments ago, that I am perfectly capable of-"

"Not the injuries, Arum," she says quickly, and he pauses, narrowing his eyes. "I need to know that- that you're not going to hurt yourself if we're not here with you," she manages, and Arum feels his breath go shallow.

"Amaryllis," he says. "Don't- don't be ridiculous."

"I'm not," she says. "I'm worried about you."

"Absurd," he hisses, looking away. "I am home, entirely thanks to the pair of you. I should be the one worrying over you, going back into the wilds. I could not possibly be safer."

"From yourself?" Amaryllis says, her brow furrowed with worry. "Look, I- I know this is uncomfortable, Arum, but- but I know that you've tried to get Damien to- to-"

"What? Wh-what did you tell her?" Arum says, turning towards Damien, and he means to snap but his tone sounds more hurt than furious. Damien only sits, his hands clasped in his lap, his lips pressed tight together. "What did you say, knight?"

"He didn't tell me anything, Arum." She shakes her head, angling her body a bit more between them, leaning closer. "Nothing specific, at least, but I'm not stupid. I heard you goading him plenty of times, and he said you told him about your- your work before we left, and he said that if he killed you then, it wouldn't have been a slaying and really there's only one way to interpret that evidence-" she pauses, cringes, bites her lip. "You tried to get Damien to kill you."

Arum freezes, his mouth going dry.

"I don't know if it was because of guilt or- or depression or panic about the trip or what, but- but I already told you, Arum. I didn't put in all this hard work just for you to die. Just for you to throw all of it away-"

"I am home, Amaryllis," he manages in a whisper. "You brought me home. There will certainly be no reason for me to- to endanger myself now."

"No?" she says weakly. "There wasn't any reason for you to try to goad Damien into killing you back in the hut, either, Arum, but you did it anyway."

"I-" Arum glances away again, his hand flexing, but she reaches out and takes one of his hands, squeezing tight. His eyes flick to Sir Damien, sitting quiet though his worried eyes are fixed on the pair of them. "I- that was- different-"

"Different how, Arum?"

"I did not want you to endanger yourself for me, Amaryllis," he hisses, turning towards her with his tail thrashing. "You- you make the world less cruel, by your actions, your choices, your existence. The both of you. You try, if nothing else, and for you to leap to action and danger for my sake is- was-"

She stares up into his eyes, her hand clasped tight around his wrist, and he clenches his teeth and pretends that his throat is not aching.

"If helping me destroyed you, it would be the worst of cruelties I have inflicted upon this world. And I, Amaryllis, have inflicted more than my share of cruelties already."

"So you try to take yourself out of the picture instead? Arum-"

"The little knight did not bite when provoked regardless, so I hardly see how it matters," Arum growls, and in his periphery he sees Damien flinch, his head ducking.

Amaryllis' grip on his wrist tightens. "You do know that's not comforting, right? It matters because I- because we love you, and because if you die, Arum, you'll be dead. Even if you were trying to protect us in some roundabout way-"

Arum flinches, and she pauses, pressing her lips together for a moment as she visibly chooses a different phrasing.

"If you had managed to convince Damien to do it, it'd be cruel, first of all. He doesn't deserve that kind of guilt weighing on him. And second, again, you would be dead, Arum. You implied that you and the Keep exist in a symbiosis- what good would you be to it if-"

"Another would come after me," Arum hisses. "I am not the first, and I will not be the last. The Keep will always have a familiar, no matter my own mortal status."

"That-" Amaryllis makes a noise, small and uncertain. "I- okay. Okay, explain that. If you dropped dead right now, would the Keep just- generate a new familiar instantly? Would I be talking to your replacement in a minute flat?"

Arum flicks his eyes away again. "No. Don't be foolish, it doesn't work like that."

"Explain it to me, then," Amaryllis repeats. "Of course I don't know how it works, Arum. So explain to me why you would think that your death would be in any way an acceptable option."

"It- another familiar would be created, yes. They would require- time to grow, however. The Keep nurtures us from infancy. It would have a hatchling-"

"So," she says calmly, "obviously this is the preferred option. You can protect your home better than an infant could."

"But-"

"Would the Keep want you to die?"

Arum flinches again, twisting his body away from Amaryllis though he still will not pull his wrist from her grasp. The Keep gives a sharp, swift reply of its own, near discordant in its vehemence, and Arum ducks his head with a hiss. "N-no."

"I can tell you love the Keep, Arum," she says, more quietly. "I have to imagine that it loves you too."

"It-" Arum inhales, sharp and panicked, then exhales something like a laugh. "I-"

The Keep trills again, and then it reaches with gentle vines to grip a wrist on his other side, echoing the way Amaryllis is holding him. The contact is too gentle, and the feeling of the Keep's affection in his mind is too raw, too close, after so long missing the feeling. He closes his eyes, clenches his teeth together, and pretends not to feel his eyes heating, his throat constricting.

"Yes," he says in a whisper so low he is not confident that Amaryllis' ears will be able to discern it. "Yes, my Keep loves me." He swallows, then lifts another hand to grip the vine the Keep is holding him with. "It loves me," he repeats, a little more steadily, and if he refuses to open his eyes, then perhaps he need not acknowledge the wetness on his cheeks at all. "The Keep loves me, just as I love it."

Amaryllis makes a soft sort of noise, and Arum feels her hand- feels her thumb on his cheek, feels her gentle away the evidence of his ridiculous surplus of emotion. He waits until her hand retreats, and then he opens his eyes again with a sigh.

"You can protect the Keep and care about yourself too, Arum," she says quietly, and her own eyes are bright. "I just- I need to know you're going to be safe. I can't just leave, not knowing if I'm going to see you again-"

"If we are going to see you again," Damien adds gently, moving closer at last, arranging himself behind Amaryllis and reaching to brush his fingers down Arum's arm. "I know, Arum, that it is not so easy as to simply decide that the demons of one's own mind are conquered. It is not a matter of willpower alone- that is why we wish to speak of it."

"We want to help," Amaryllis says, her voice wobbling very slightly. "We want to understand what you're feeling, and we want you to know that we're here, and we care about you, and you matter to us. Even when we leave, even when we're away from you- you matter to us and it's important to us that you know that you matter, that you're not- you're not replaceable. Not to us."

Arum attempts to ignore the way his heart is racing, the way his eyes still feel too hot, and he finds himself failing when the Keep hums, vines embracing him as it echoes the sentiment firmly.

"I- I have- surely you understand that I have precisely zero intention of harming myself," he breathes, quick and harsh. "I do not want to die-"

It is only that sometimes, in the past, when he was exhausted past his means or when the creeping gray of his mind clouded him… it would have been so much easier. Only the Keep would mourn, and soon enough even it would be drawn past that grief by his replacement. Arum very rarely considered those thoughts, outside of those moments of darkness.

They are watching him, watching whatever must be playing out in his expression, patient and fond and worried, and Arum exhales very slowly.

"I do not want to die," he repeats, his voice coming steadier. "I… I can understand…" he sighs, ducking his head. "It is not unreasonable for you to… to concern yourselves. But I have been- I have been speaking with my Keep, since my return, and- and we will not be parted again, least of all by my own hand. I meant what I said, this afternoon, when I spoke to my subjects. If nothing else, my recent proximity to death has given me a rather jarring dose of perspective. I wish to live, to protect my home, to-"

Arum snaps his teeth together, stifling the words that wish to come next, but then-

His shoulders relax, and he allows a smile to curl his mouth. He need not hide such words. Not anymore.

"I wish to live," he repeats. "I refuse to die before I have loved the both of you as well as you deserve, and I imagine that will take rather a long time."

"Oh," Damien breathes, clinging to Amaryllis as she gives a watery sort of smile. "Oh, Arum- oh, my lily-"

Arum's breath catches, and Damien freezes, his jaw snapping shut in obvious mortification.

"Er- rather, that is- that was- rather presumptuous of me, of course-"

Arum presses forward, draping himself over Amaryllis as she yelps and cackles a laugh, pressing her back so that she and Damien both are trapped between Arum's chest and the cushions below, and then he nuzzles Amaryllis' neck, nuzzles past to press his snout into Damien's ear, nipping gently as he crowds closer, closer, warm and safe as he remembers again that they will not push him away, they will not scorn him.

By all the incomprehensibility of the Universe, they will claim him.

"My honeysuckle," he hisses into the crook of Damien's neck, and Damien gasps. "Mine- my love-"

It is wild, it is absurd, maddening, the things he is allowed- what they allow him-

Amaryllis laughs even harder, her hair falling into her face as she unconvincingly pushes at his shoulders. "You- you are such a-"

"I love you, my Amaryllis," he growls, and his heart swells as her breath catches too.

They have given him so, so much. They have given him everything.

He knows precisely the gift he intends to give them in return.\

~

The next morning dawns bittersweet, though the resplendent peach-and-gold of the sunrise does not appear to have been informed. The light pours warm through the portal when the Keep pulls it open to the very edge of the swamp, and Arum does not know how, precisely, to feel as he watches Amaryllis' posture stiffen and Damien's shoulders sag, when the reality of the parting strikes the three of them in the same moment.

The Keep presses wrapped packages into the humans's hands, bundles of supplies that should more than keep them fed until they reach some semblance of human civilization again. Arum suspects, but has not pried such to confirm, that the Keep has also stealthily added in portions of sweets, as well as other small gifts and trinkets, possibly some bunches of local herbs that it observed Amaryllis taking a particular interest in.

They tuck the new gifts into their packs, and Damien presses his lips together tight, flicking his eyes to draw down Arum's face, rather obviously committing his sight to memory.

"I don't…" Amaryllis sighs, and he and Damien turn their attention towards her. "I don't know how long it'll be before we can manage another trip like this," she says, frowning, and Damien presses a hand to her shoulder, his own expression going mournful.

Arum forces his expression flat, burying his nerves and his hope both. "It may not be so difficult as you think, to see each other again."

He's gratified when Amaryllis' eyes dart to him, surprise and skepticism on her raised brows.

"You better not be threatening what I think you are," she warns. "Magic healing or no, I do not wanna find out that you decided to take a big solo trip so soon after recovering, even if it means we get to-"

"I do not intend any such thing," he says mildly, suppressing the urge to grin, and he nudges the Keep in his mind to fetch his surprise. "Do you… trust me, Amaryllis?"

"Stupid question, Arum."

"Even if what I tell you will sound impossible?"

"Most of what you say sounds impossible," she hedges, narrowing her eyes.

"We love you," Damien says, a little tearfully, and Arum struggles to maintain his composure as the poet takes his hand, lifting it to press a kiss to his knuckles. "Of course we trust you."

Arum squeezes Damien's hand, and he knows his voice will tremble if he attempts to answer that, so he simply nods before he tugs Damien's hand to his own mouth to echo the gesture as Amaryllis rolls her eyes at the both of them.

"Good," he says eventually, when he knows his voice will come steady. "Good. Then- I have something for you."

"A present?" Damien smiles. "Oh, Arum-"

"I suppose you could call it that," Arum rumbles, looking away for a moment as the Keep deposits the bundle into his free arms. "Though, it is a rather self-serving gift, if anything," he adds in a murmur. "Here."

He hands Amaryllis the linen-wrapped ball of roots and soil, watching as she carefully cradles it, her eyes bright as she tilts her head to better see the dark brown sapling with the shining green and purple leaves sprouting small and fragile from the bundle.

"Arum, what-"

"Trust me," he says, and she shoots him a look, scowling though he knows- he knows that she will bury her curiosity for his sake. It will be worth it, he thinks, for the surprise. "Bring the plant home with you. Ensure that the soil is not lost- it is just as important as the flora itself. Place it somewhere it will be safe-" he pauses, breathes a laugh. "Perhaps you could find some room beside the Jungle Flame, out of sight of the kitchen window. If you can bear to clear the stack of notes cluttering the corner there-"

"Watch it," Amaryllis grumbles, and Arum laughs again.

"Give it a home," he says quietly. "Mix the soil provided with some from your own garden. Not too much- no more than half again. It will bloom quickly, when it is settled, and when it does-"

She tilts her head, calculation in her eyes as she commits his instruction to memory.

"When it does," he murmurs, "if you wish to see me again, all you need do is ask."

"If," Amaryllis snorts, and Arum ducks his head. "Yeah, dummy, if we wanna see you again- Saints you're ridiculous-"

"Oh, Arum," Damien murmurs, and then he- goes up on his toes and flings his arms around Arum's shoulders, embracing him tightly and pressing his face against Arum's neck. "Oh, I can safely assure you that my heart will ache with your absence the very moment we are parted, oh my lily-"

Arum returns the embrace, squeezing tight and lifting Damien fully off the ground, though he growls and glares at Amaryllis over the knight's shoulder. "And you call me ridiculous."

"You both are," she says, utterly fond. "I've got a type."

Arum laughs, and clings more tightly, and when Amaryllis steps close enough to grip his arm and kiss his cheek, it takes more strength than Arum knew he possessed to release the both of them from his grasp.

He does let them go, eventually, murmuring his affection close against their skin until they can no longer justify delay. He watches them leave, smiling despite the ache in his heart, despite the utter strangeness of being parted, at last, after so long beside them. He smiles, willing the Universe to grant them swiftness and safety.

The sooner they are home, the sooner he will see them again.

[->]

[talesofphantombandits]

Zero to Six ~ Chapter Ten.

Helloooo, I hope Y’all are ready for this ;) It honestly gets a little boring am sorry but hopefully next chapter will be better <3

Again, let me know if you want to be tagged. 

Warnings: Swearing. 

tags: @i-am-sarah , @whothefuckstolemykeds , @drowsyrrog , @culturefiendtrashqueen , @rogue-barnes-16--main-account , @alliwantfromyouistomakelovetome, @valerie-weasley , @sueeatstheworld , @bleona2808 , @pippin248 , @myfatbottomedgirls , @httpfandxms , @cooliosmosh , @speckles-s , @walking-disgrace , @itsmeaudrieee , @fight-the-freaking-fairies , @irrelevant-pumpkin , @captain-sparkles-who , @podcasts-8-my-heart , @foulvintagenature , @imjustboredso , @loophoria

__________________________________________________________

I woke up to the warmth of the sun on my face. I stretched out, only to be pulled back into a warm chest.

Wait what?

I turned around so fast, forgetting about the injury I had sustained. Trying not to scream out I bit down hard on my lip this time moving a lot slower.

I relaxed when I remembered that I was in Fours room and he was the one holding onto me.  Now facing him, it dawned on me that this was the closest I’d ever seen him. 

I mean from afar he was handsome, but up close he was just beautiful. 

“I can feel you staring.” My mouth fell open.

He still had his eyes closed. “I wasn’t staring.” I tried to wiggle out of his grip.

“ah ah. You’re not going anywhere.” He nestled into my neck and whispered. “and you totally were staring.” 

I just giggled as his hair tickled my chin. I sighed. “Come on Four, we best get up or they will drag us out eventually.”

He lifted his head up so his face was line with mine. “Let them try.” 

I smiled sweetly at him as he pushed a strand of hair behind my ear. “How you feeling this morning?” He said in the softest voice as he looked down and uncovered my bandaged waist.

“It’s okay, a little uncomfortable. But then again I wasn’t expected to heal over night.” 

He gave me a warning glare. “Don’t get smart with me darling. I’ll get Five to look at it on the plane.”  

I’d never seen such concern on his face before. “Are you worried about me?”

“You sound shocked sweetheart, am only returning the curtsy.” He beamed at me.

I reached out and stroked his cheek as he hovered over me.  “Thank you, you’re not so bad when you aren’t running your mouth of-”

His soft lips crashed onto mine as his hand cupped my cheek. The butterflies that normally would erupt, now burst over and over again changing themselves into fireworks.

Just as the kiss started to get more heated, Four pressing himself into my body harder basically pinning my frame to the mattress. A loud banging on the door broke us apart. 

“GET UP GUYS IT’S TIME TO GO, DON’T YOU TWO MAKE ME COME IN THERE AND DRAG YOU OUT. I DON’T CARE WHAT STATE YOU’RE IN.” Three barked through the door all while still banging on the wood.

I groaned head slamming back into the pillow, Four sighed, rolling off of me to go into the bathroom to get himself ready for the day.

I let myself have a moment when the banging had stopped and the other body in the room was now behind the bathroom door. I touched my lips. I could still feel the tingle, burning sensation that was left over by the power of the kiss.

I then hauled myself out of the bed, holding my waist I found my jacket from last night throwing it over my arm to find the hotel room key inside one of the pockets.

I walked over to my actual appointed room and freshened myself up getting rid of yesterdays dirty and negativity. I then got dressed, packing my bag which didn’t take me too long as One always told us to pack light.

I made my way down to the lobby, walking through the main entrance and across the busy road. All the guys where already there waiting by the food stands.

“Glad you could join us Zero.” One seemed miffed, looks like I’m in his bad books. Great.

Everyone situated themselves so that they could get the asset on the supply truck with as less fuss as possible. 

Four had a hold of the guy and everyone was spaced out following one by one.  But as soon as he was on the truck, all of us standing outside Seven decided that now would be a good time to speak up.

One, Seven, Four and the asset where in the trailer, I was just about to step up with Five, Three and Four behind me. 

“This shit isn’t sitting right with me man.” I stopped looking back at Three with a concerned expression.

I wanted Seven to speak up but was not the time nor place to do so.

“You promised you’d let me always pull the trigger.” One was interrupting him with a bunch of yeah’s.

God this really wasn’t going to end well. 

Seven ended up pinning One to the wall of the truck, I gasped at the smack it made.

“You want to know why I don’t use names?” One raised his voice. “You want to know why?”

Seven was all up in his face now, both hands were grabbed tightly onto ones jacket. “Why.”

“Because no offence Four I’m glad you’re alive.” He now looked directly at Seven. “But you left us out in the open on that street last night. Totally exposed! If that was me I would have expected you guys to leave me.”

I looked at Four who hadn’t torn his eyes away from the two men, I then turned to look at Three again to see the same angry expression that Seven held.

“No that’s bullshit.” Seven was getting angrier at the second, I honestly didn’t blame him.

“The mission is more important than the man!” I just watched on, breathing heavy.

“FUCK THE MISSION!” Seven was now at boiling point. “You don’t leave a solider behind!” He finally let get of Ones jacket and pointed at Four.

“I’ve got news for you Seven, you’re not a solider anymore. She’s not a doctor, she’s not a spy and he’s not a hit man.” One said pointing at the three people beside me.

“And am not a CEO.”

“A rich asshole you mean.” I sighed this was getting way out of hand.

“What’s your name man?” All eyes turned to Four.

“Don’t tell him.” One interjected.

I could tell from the expression that Four gave one that he was also done with his bullshit.

“Am Blaine, and I just saved your life. What’s your name?”

“My names Billy.”

“You look like a Billy.” Seven complimented.

“You look like a Four.” One commented which made everyone stare daggers into him.

“I’m Javier.”

“Camille.”

“Amelia.”

They then all turned to me, I just stared down One who looked at me .

“Don’t you dare.” He pointed at me he gave me a look like if I spoke, I would dishonour him.

I looked at the floor for a second before turning to look up at Seven. “My names Scout.” Not daring to look back at One I kept my eyes elsewhere.

One scoffed bringing the attention back to him. “It’s nice to meet everyone, that’s great.” He said sarcastically.

“Let’s go.”

We all got in the truck and then piled onto the plane for the next part of the mission. It was deadly silent and the air was thick with tension.

That didn’t stop me and Four, or should I say Billy making faces at each other from across the seating section.

Chapter Eleven 

[cherryamoureuse]

paper rings | peter parker (soulmate au)

     Tomorrow was your seventeenth birthday. You were finally going to be linked to your soulmate. Everyone’s connection was different. Some saw specific colors, others shared emotions. Your parents had been the latter. The bond does not show itself until both soulmates are seventeen. You will admit that your heart was yearning and hoping that it would be one specific person. Peter Parker. You were in the same chemistry class as the honey-eyed brunette. The pair of you have never exchanged more than a few words to each other in the two years that you had been classmates, much to your dismay. From the second that you had laid your eyes on him freshman year, you had been his. Today, walking into school had been anxiety ridden for you. While on the train to school, your head was taken up with the thought of soulmates. 

Would your infatuation with Peter suddenly disappear? What if it didn’t? Wouldn’t your soulmate eventually find out your affection was so focused on someone else? What if Peter was your soulmate? 

No, that is just wishful thinking on your part. Walking up the stone steps, you reached the entrance of Midtown High. As cliche as it sounds, you felt your heart skip a few beats as you walked through the double doors. Peter was standing by his locker, shifting through stacks of paper, with a pen loosely hanging between his lips. Feeling your stare, he looked up and gave you a lopsided smile that wrapped your heart in warmth. Quickly, your eyes flutter towards the grounds as you feel your cheeks heat up at being caught. Walking past him, you flash him a smile as you go to find MJ, who would surely be waiting for you by your locker. You greet her with a flustered smile and she eyes you suspiciously. 

“What’s up with you? Your cheeks are the color of strawberries.�� She lifts a finger and pokes at your left cheek. 

“It’s nothing.” You assure her as you hide your face behind your locker door. 

“Mhm, this wouldn't have anything to do with a certain nerd named Peter Parker, now would it? She says with a smirk lighting up her features. “You know, if you just talked to him you could already be his girlfriend.” 

“As if, MJ.” You scoff at her. You and Peter are barely acquaintances at this point in time. He would smile at you when you make eye contact and make small talk at the science tables, but that was the extent of it. You were his chemistry seat partner, that’s all.  

“What do you mean? Never forget that you’re the one that’s out of his league.” 

“Sure,” You sigh. MJ had always seen the best in people, even if she was a tad guarded. “Tomorrow is my birthday anyways. I’m gonna find my soulmate.” You do smile a little at the thought. It is important to be independent, but it would be nice to find a forever with someone. 

The two of you walk to English and take your seats.

     The day passes by, and you are finally on your way home. Your apartment was empty, there was a note on the counter from your parents saying they wouldn’t be home for dinner and that there was money on the table for pizza. They were rarely ever home, due to their busy work schedules, but you were used to it. Kicking off your shoes, you make your way to your bedroom to start your homework. As the time goes by, you try not to stress about your soulmate situation. The closer it got to 12, the more anxious you became. Finally, the moment had come as your clock switched from pm to am. You let out a breath and waited. Nothing happened. You didn’t feel any different. Furrowing your brows, you go to the mirror to search for some marking, which was the most common form of soulmate matching. There was nothing to be found. You sat on your bed hoping to feel anything from your soulmate’s end. All you could feel and hear was silence. Maybe your soulmate hadn’t turned seventeen yet. Then a terrible thought had occurred to you. What if you had no soulmate? It was rare but there had been a few cases of people who had no bond. You were reaching all kinds of scenarios in your head when you heard your parents walk through the front door. You rush under the covers and pretend to be asleep, so they don’t ask you questions that would make you cry in your fragile state. You hear the door open and hushed whispers are shared, before it is closed once again. Falling asleep, you try not to focus on the worst case scenarios.  

     You are woken up by a loud voice. Startled, you glance over at your clock to see that it is 3am. There are two voices speaking about salicylic acid? Confusion and alarm are at the forefront of your emotions. There was no radio on, yet the voices continue to converse about science. Opening your window, you stick your head out and try to find the source, but the voices seemed to be directly in your head. An epiphany strikes you. It has to be your soulmate bond. A smile lights up your features as you finally understand. It was a rare connection to have. Music. You and your soulmate could hear whatever music- or in your case, podcast- the other was listening to. An excited giggle forces it way out of your throat as you listen to scientific procedures. Why your soulmate would be up at 3am and listening to a science podcast was beyond you, but you were relieved to know that you were not without a soulmate. You thought about putting on your own music to let them know that you were there, but you didn’t want to disturb your other half. Your eyelids grow heavy and you are once again drifting back to sleep with thoughts of the periodic table. 

     Waking up at 6 am on a Saturday with just 4 hours of sleep under your belt was not difficult to do when you were excited for the prospect of hearing whatever your soulmate heard. There had been no new sounds in your mind since this morning, but you knew that if you began listening to a song, they would hear it and be as surprised as you had been. You had spent the morning racking your brain for the perfect song to play your soulmate. Nothing too heavy, you wanted a soft introduction. Searching your Spotify playlist, you found the perfect song. Holding your breath, you press play on Taylor Swift’s Invisible String. The intro starts and you wait. The song plays and finishes without interruption. You don’t play anything, hoping for some sort of response. Your heart is beating out of your chest as the same opening intro is played back before stopping. It worked, they had heard you! Excitement coursed through your veins. Freaking out, you look for another song to play for your soulmate. After half an hour, there had been no response. You were disappointed, but you brushed it off as your soulmate just getting busy. Around 8, you decided to take a quick shower. Normally, you would be playing music and singing in the shower, but you didn’t want to bother or annoy your soulmate. The silence was awkward for you. Brushing your hair, you decided to throw caution to the wind and play your everyday playlist. The soft sound of Clairo’s Bags fills the room. You keep the volume low as you hum and sing along. Then, Paper Rings starts playing and you can’t help but turn it up a little and sing into your hairbrush. You finish your nightly routine and head to bed. The weekend went by with no sounds on your soulmate’s end. It was frustrating to say the least, but you tried not to get worked up about it. Lover had been your album of choice for the weekend. Paper Rings had been on repeat for almost 2 days straight. You couldn’t help it. The song just elevated your mood. And with the mountain of assignments you had to do, you needed the boost. You popped your headphones in and started your walk to school. Taylor Swift accompanies you through your subway stops. Walking through the doors, your eyes immediately go to Peter’s locker. He’s standing and talking to Ned. He looks up when you enter and waves at you. You take out your headphones and pause your music to wave back at him. His hand stops its movement as soon as you begin waving back. He seems to be frozen in place as his mouth parts in disbelief. You drop your hand and your smile, thinking that you had done something wrong and cringe internally. Wrapping up your headphones, you walk past Peter, whose eyes are following you. His expression stays the same. Turning the corner, you run to MJ, telling her about your soulmate and your bizarre interaction with Peter. 

“Wait,” she interrupts your rambling about how Peter reacted to your wave. “You waved at Peter? That’s so unlike you. Maybe that’s why he freaked.” 

Thinking about it, Peter doesn’t usually wave at you when you walk in. Normally the two of you would exchange only a smile in the mornings. 

     Sliding into your seat in Chemistry, your leg bounces as you psych yourself up to talk to Peter. You wanted to get past the shy responses you always gave him. Having a soulmate had built up your confidence and you were ready to try and be Peter’s friend. You catch his eyes as he walks through the door frame and into the classroom. Your heart flutters, but you will the feeling away. You had a soulmate out there and it was not Peter Parker. This time it is him who averts his gaze and blushes. He walks down the aisle to his normal seat next to you. For some reason, you are hyper aware of his proximity today and you want nothing more than to melt into his side. You shake the thought from your head. What is up with you today? You turn to him. 

“Hi, Peter.” Your voice sounds small amongst the loudness of the room, but his head perks up to look at you. 

“Hi, Y/N. Wow, you’ve never been the one to talk first.” He laughs, but stops as he sees your face fall. You hadn’t wanted to seem standoffish, you were just painfully shy around him.

“I’m sorry, I-I” You blush a scarlet red as you stumble over your words.

“N-No, don’t apologize. It was just surprising. I’m glad you’re talking to me,” He assures you with a gentle, close-lipped smile and a hand on your arm. Warmth spreads around the area where his palm meets your cardigan. You could sigh at the feeling. “Happy Birthday, by the way. Big seventeen.” He rubs his neck. 

“Yeah, thank you. I didn’t know you knew about my birthday.”

“MJ told me.” You nod at his rushed explanation and a comfortable silence washes over. Peter breaks it by asking you a question. “Sorry if it’s personal, but did you find out what your soulmate bond was? Y-you don’t have to answer, I’m just curious.” 

Before you could answer, the teacher began explaining the assignment for today. You and Peter finished the paper just as the bell rang, signalling the end of the class period. Peter offers to walk with you to your locker. You nod in acceptance. You break the silence once you reach your locker.  

“Um I did get my soulmate bond by the way, it’s bizarre. Mine is a music connection, but my soulmate has only listened to one science podcast so far. It was at 3 in the morning too.” You laugh and look over to see Peter looking at you with the same expression from this morning. You see him duck down to pull his phone out of his backpack and frantically untangle his headphones. 

His movements were startling and you reached a hand out to his shoulder. “Are you okay, Peter?” 

He doesn’t respond. His tongue pokes out of the side of his mouth, as he concentrates on his task. He finally untangles the knots and plugs in the wire, with the headphones situated in his ear. He taps away at the screen. All of a sudden, you hear the all too familiar opening of Paper Rings, your song of choice this past weekend. You gasp as Peter looks up at you and turns his phone around showing you the cover art to none other than Taylor Swift’s Lover album. You reach down and pause the song. Silence falls between the two of you as you try and process what had just happened. 

“Y-You.. You’re m-my soulmate?” You know you must look insane, but there is so much happening in your mind that it’s a miracle you can even form the words. 

Peter watches you carefully as he stands up. “Y-yeah, I mean, I had a suspicion from the weekend and this morning, but yeah. I h-hoped it was you.” He admits shyly. 

Your heart could burst. Here was Peter Parker, the boy you had been hoping was your soulmate, admitting that he had hoped the same thing.  Here was Peter Parker, your soulmate. Before you can even process the words, they are coming out of your mouth in quick succession, “Can I kiss you?” 

He seems a bit startled but recovers and gives a small nod. You reach up to wrap your arms around his neck and delicately press your lips to his. He is hesitant at first, but soon leans into the kiss and places his arms around your waist, bringing you closer to him. You pull away from lack of air, but press your foreheads together. Peter laughs. 

You look up at him and smile. “What?”

“You really like Taylor Swift, don’t you? I’m tired of hearing that song bouncing around in my head. I don’t know how someone could listen to the same song for so long.” 

“Shut up. You didn’t even listen to any music at all.”

“I didn’t want to disturb you. Plus, you listen to enough music for the both of us.”

He leans down again to place another kiss on your lips. His arms are still wrapped tightly around you. You were perfectly happy to stay in his embrace forever. Thanking the heaven’s for whoever was responsible for making him the perfect match for you, you kiss him back. 

I like shiny things, but I'd marry you with paper rings

I hate accidents except when we went from friends to this

darling, you're the one I want

In paper rings in picture frames in all my dreams

You're the one I want

[alistair-blackwood]

Jon takes the statement of Mr. Blackwood, concerning his midnight wanderings.

Chapters: 1/1 [Complete]

Words: 2,058

Tags: Light Angst, Supernatural Elements, Pre-Relationship

~

“I’m sorry if I’m wasting your time.”

“Rest assured, Mr. Blackwood, this is a part of my job.”

“Oh, uh, Martin is fine.”

Mr. Blackwood – Martin – rubbed the back of his neck. Nervous energy oozed from every pore, but Jon couldn’t determine if that was due to his statement or if that was just his usual disposition.

“I’ve always been curious about this place,” said Martin. “Even thought about applying once. I hear about it on podcasts all the time. You really take statements from anyone who comes in?”

“That’s correct.”

“What do you do when they’re taking the piss?”

“The Magnus Institute will accept statements from any source and perform a follow up to the best of its ability.”

“Okay, but, like, what if they’re obviously taking the piss?”

Jon brought a hand to his chin. “We’ve only ever had to escort out one person before, if that’s what you mean, and one could easily make the deduction that he was under the influence at the time.”

“Oh, wow.” Martin looked down at his hands. “Do you ever believe them?”

“What?”

Martin’s face reddened. He swallowed.

“I mean, do you ever think, ‘hey, this chap might be on to something’? Or have they, you know, all just been pretty much crazy?”

Jon sighed. He knew what the man wanted him to say, but to say it would infringe Jon’s professional standards. “Frankly, believing or disbelieving the statement giver isn’t my job. I’m just here to collect and compile the information.”

“Oh.”

“I don’t think they were all crazy, though.” Jon slid the tape recorder forward. “And I will listen to what you have to say.”

“Yeah. Okay.”

“Statement of Martin Blackwood regarding his midnight wanderings. Statement taken directly from subject August 14th, 2016. Statement begins.”

Martin took a slow, deep breath.

“It is crazy, though, you know? That’s why I came here. There really wasn’t anywhere else for me to go. I’m sorry again—”

“You don’t need to apologize, Martin. Just start from the beginning.”

“Right. So, I guess it started when my mum moved out. This was, um, about two weeks ago, I think. She went to this care home in Devon. She’s been wanting to go there for ages.” He smiled, but it was off. “Weird, isn’t it? Like, who wants to go to a care home?”

He trailed off, staring at his hands. His eyes were faraway.

Jon cleared his throat. Martin blinked.

“Right. Sorry.”

“Would you like something to drink?”

“No, no, that’s fine. I just—” He sucked in a quick breath. “So, yeah, Mum left, and it’s the first time I’ve ever been all on my own. I think I should have felt happy. I mean, every kid is happy when they get their own place, and it’s not like my mum was the easiest person to live with. But, I don’t know. I just hated it. The flat seemed too quiet.”

Martin squirmed, crossing his arms. “Um, sorry, yeah, I think I’ll take that water, actually.”

Jon stood, making a quick trip to the breakroom. Martin accepted the porcelain mug but didn’t drink it as Jon sat back down. He just cradled it with two hands, staring into the clear water.

“So, yeah, it was all feeling like a bit much, then. I had a bad dream that night, I don’t really remember it, and after that I tried just staying out of the flat as much as possible. I didn't have anywhere to go, so I just wandered around town. It could have started then. I wasn’t paying attention to anything during those walks.”

“What did you see?”

“Nothing, at first. I’d just be walking around and lost in thought. Then, I’d look up and I was in an area I didn’t recognize and hours have gone by. I just thought I’d been more spacey than usual, but then, I’d keep losing more and more hours until suddenly the entire day was disappearing, and I barely remembered any of it. One day I had walked clear across London and it was 3 in the morning. I hadn’t eaten at all during that time and almost passed out. I tried to stop going out after that.”

“Tried?”

“Yeah. But the flat was still so … I just couldn’t stay there. I tried setting an alarm on my phone and maybe it would snap me out of it and I’d turn back home once it went off. That night, it was about 4 at that point, I couldn’t find it in my pockets, and I got a call the next day on my landline from someone who said they found my phone in the trash.”

Martin took a large gulp of water. His voice was wobbling. “I really started freaking out after that. I thought I was being possessed or something. I stayed at a motel to see if that changed anything, even barricaded myself in, but I found myself somewhere by a river in Erith at 5 AM. It was freezing. It had been almost 24 hours at that point. I was exhausted, and I didn’t have anyone I could ask for help.”

“You can take a break if you need one.”

Martin jerked up. His fingers were white from his grip on the mug. He set it down on Jon’s desk.

“No, that’s okay,” he said. “I just want to get this over with.”

“Take all the time you need.”

“I finally … saw it, about a week ago. I think I was walking on the Albert Bridge at that point and I was looking at the ground, and there were these strange shapes. I didn’t really react at first, but I lifted my head, and everything looked so weird. Like, you know when you’re staring at an optical illusion and it makes your eyes hurt? And it all smelled so stale and old and everyone was gone. I was alone. And there was this voice.”

“A voice?”

Martin nodded. His hands were shaking. “I think I'd been hearing it the entire time. Seeing … that place the entire time. It must have been where my head was going.”

“Can you tell me what the voice said?”

"I don't ..." Martin swallowed, but it was strangled, as if something sharp were pressing on his throat. “It was talking about how happy my mum was now that I was out of her life. That no one would miss me if I jumped off the bridge.”

He clapped a hand over his mouth, horrified. He blinked and a tear slid down his cheek.

Jon waited. Martin rubbed his face. Jon held out the mug, still half filled with water, and Martin took it back, finishing it off in one gulp.

“Thank you,” Martin said, softly, wiping his mouth.

“What happened after that?”

“I don’t really know. I think someone yelled at me for getting too close to the bridge, and I kind of just woke up. And it hasn’t happened again after that.”

Jon pulled the tape recorder closer to himself. His pulse was drumming in his throat. “And this happened last Tuesday, correct?”

“Um, yeah. How did you—?”

“Just a guess. And you haven’t had a problem with this since?”

“No. I don’t think so, anyway.” Martin coughed. “So, yeah. That’s everything.” He chuckled, nervously. “Crazy, right?”

“Hmm.”

Jon tapped the surface of his desk, eyebrows drawn together. He took a deep breath.

“We’ll look into what we can, but I must admit, based on the isolated nature of your incident, I doubt we’ll be able to uncover anything particularly illuminating.”

“Oh, well, that’s okay.” Martin scrubbed his face. “Honestly, I’m just glad you haven’t laughed me out of the building yet. ‘Oh, a kid hallucinates some spooky nonsense and fancies he might have had a paranormal encounter.’ Like, it’s ridiculous, right?”

“I don’t think it’s ridiculous.”

Martin stared at him. Clearing his throat, he stood. “Well, thank you. I won’t bother you anymore—”

“Wait.” Jon grabbed a paper and pen from his desk, quickly scribbling a number. He stood and held it out. “Please, let me know if anything like this happens again.”

“Oh, okay.” Martin took the paper and stared at it. “Is this … is this your cellphone number?”

“I don’t see how that makes a difference.”

“This can’t be in your job description.”

“To be perfectly honest, the exact wording as outlined in my contract is incredibly and unhelpfully vague.”

Jon clicked off the tape recorder.

 “Statement ends.”

Jon let out a slow breath, closing his eyes, before bringing the tape recorder closer.

“Much as I suspected, this case is a dead end. Security footage showed that Mr. Blackwood was, indeed, wandering around London for hours with little to no awareness of his surroundings. This went on for nearly five days. One clip showed him tossing his phone in a skip and another of a kid running right into him, almost knocking him over. He hadn’t reacted.

“Sasha confirmed that he booked a reservation for one night at the Central Inn motel on August 9th, 2016. Apparently, the manager gave her quite an earful since her ‘friend’ had given the custodian a bad fright with his quote unquote sleepwalking and had left the room a mess.

"That’s pretty much all we can do for him."

Jon brought a hand to his face, massaging his head.

“I can’t believe I hadn’t even recognized him.”

The tape rolled in it's casing. It seemed louder than usual.

“I wouldn’t have even noticed him if we hadn't nearly run into each other. He was just standing in the middle of the pavement, staring at nothing. I asked him what his problem was, but he hadn't said anything. Then he started walking towards the edge of the bridge, and suddenly I was stricken with absolute terror. I don’t know why. It was something about the way he was walking. Shambling. As if nothing was going to get in his way.

“So, I shouted at him. He blinked and looked over at me, and I could tell he actually saw me that time. I wanted to say something, maybe yell at him some more for pulling a stunt like that, but I was running late for work and his eyes ... I couldn’t stand to be there.

“What a cowardly thing to do. What would have happened if I hadn’t …?”

Jon dropped his hand, leaning back in his chair and breathing.

“Well. No use wondering about ‘what-ifs’. He texted me the other day, let me know he was still safe, which I can be honest and admit that that does provide me with some measure of relief. He’s thinking of moving flats, which I agreed with, although finding somewhere cheap this time of year will certainly prove a challenge. I don’t envy him, anyway. I think Sasha mentioned something of one of her neighbors moving out, though. I’ll have to ask.”

A buzz in his pocket pulled him from his musings. Another text. It was a picture of someone holding a large bottle of Smirnoff in a grocery store.

>on my way to make a statement!

Jon rolled his eyes, punching in his response.

>You do realize I had to clean up the mess he made myself? I’m certain he’d had chicken for dinner that night.

>oh im sorry, didn’t mean to pick at an old trauma :p

>Any relapses?

>im okay

Jon stared at the conversation, tweaking the edge of his phone. He turned back to the tape recorder. 

“I shouldn’t be so preoccupied with a statement giver’s welfare, but, well, I suppose it’s not surprising, considering my involvement. I don’t think I’ll mention anything, at least not right now. I don’t see what good it would do. I’ll keep a close eye on him in the meantime.”

Another buzz.

>thank you, by the way. for checking up on me all the time. i know im just some random guy from the street

>It’s no trouble

>it is, though. i want to make it up to you somehow

Jon shouldn’t be so preoccupied with a statement giver’s welfare. It wasn't professional.

He found himself typing back, regardless.

>What did you have in mind?

>oh. well, i dont know, actually. i didnt think youd take me up on it. do you like coffee?

Jon smiled.

“Recording ends.”

[brittaden]

Zoey’s Extraordinary Awkward Tension

Ch. 2 is up!

AO3    FF

Zoey nervously drummed her fingers alongside the take-out cup of coffee that she had stopped for on her way into work this morning. Not that she needed the caffeine boost, she was already jittery enough at what would await her at work. That is, once she had enough courage to step out of the elevator. So far, she had stood rooted in her spot in the elevator for at least four stops now. But the weird looks from her fellow co-workers were a lot easier to deal with than with the repercussions that came with kissing your boss in the back of a car after a disastrous night out.

Who knows though, best case scenario, Joan might've been just drunk enough that she had completely forgotten about the kiss. Or was that the worst-case scenario? Not knowing which would she wanted it to be only freaked Zoey out more and was the catalyst for one more elevator ride before stepping off on the floor she worked on but that idea was halted when a hand smacked against the side of the elevator and held it so it stayed open.

"What are you doing, you weirdo?" Max asked, smiling at her with that crooked smile. "I've counted three elevator stops, are you going for a world record or something?"

"Actually, there were four and yes I am," Zoey laughed it off, hoping that Max didn't pick up on any weirdness because she couldn't even begin to explain this to him. Especially not after hearing his heart songs. That would be like rubbing salt in his wounds.

Max gave a jerk of his head back to their office space. "Well come on, there's something we need to talk about."

"What happened?" Zoey asked urgently as she fell in step behind Max. He couldn't possibly know what happened. No one could. There was no way. "Is there a crisis? Does it involve me?"

Max was leading her to where the other coders had formed a huddle around a computer but he stopped at that. "Why would it involve you? Did something happen that I don't know?"

"No, what?" Zoey stammered. Her fingers were back to nervously tapping against her coffee cup. "I have no news. Just tell me what you're talking about."

Max leaned in, as if most of the office didn't already know. "Joan and Charlie are getting a divorce."

"Oh," Zoey sighed, a wave of relief washed over her that this news wasn't about her.

He pulled back from her. "Unless you already knew that."

"I might've heard a rumor," she played it off because it's not like Max needed to know that Joan had confided in her after she relentlessly pursued the deeper meaning behind Joan's first heart song which led to her playing couple's counselor for them which then led to a new bond between them that had culminated in a drunk Joan kissing after she burned down a rose wall at an engagement party.

Yeah, that she was definitely keeping to herself.

"Hey, I like rumors," Max joked.

Zoey smiled at him. "Okay, well next time I hear our rumor about our boss getting divorced, I'll pass it on."

"That's all I'm asking."

"What are we asking for?" Joan asked, popping up out of nowhere and scaring the pair. "Are we talking about the boss' divorce too? I've already been over it but you two can catch the highlights from the other coders who think that my personal life is their business."

"Sorry," Max quickly apologized. "I just wanted to offer my condolences."

"Okay," Joan replied with a nod of her head and an unimpressed look on her face. She, then, turned to face Zoey. "We need to talk in my office."

Before Zoey could ask why or object, not that she would object an order from Joan because that was asking for trouble, Joan turned on her heel and left Zoey nervous and fidgeting once again. She shared a look with Max, one that was their usual whenever Joan demanded one of them in her office, before she followed in Joan's footsteps. She took the time to drop all her stuff on her desk before practically sprinting to Joan's office.

"You wanted to talk?" Zoey asked as cool as she could in spite of how she felt. "What's up?"

"Well, moving past that," Joan replied. She sat at her desk and pushed her tablet across the desk to Zoey. "Leif had a new idea and it was, surprisingly, good. Needs some work but there's real potential there."

"Um, okay," Zoey drug out the last syllable as she approached the desk and picked up the tablet. She tapped and swiped at the screen for a new product design called The Chirp. "This was Leif's idea?"

Joan nodded her head. "I was just as surprised as you are. He pitched it to me at Simon's engagement party, which I'm sure you remember."

Zoey could feel her cheeks heating up and her breath was caught in her chest as Joan gave her a very similar look to the one she gave her a couple nights ago. Or maybe she was imagining it. She let out a little nervous laugh. "So…um…Leif's idea?" she asked, just trying to get back on track.

"Once he pitched the idea to me, I couldn't get it out of my head. We met yesterday to go over the logistics and design for the product and since you are his supervisor now, I wanted to loop you in before we give the presentation."

"We?" Zoey questioned.

"Leif and Me," Joan answered. "Of course, we'll be bringing you into this but, for now, we'll give the presentation."

"So, you called me in here to show me the idea?"

Joan gave her a look and Zoey regretted even wasting her breath asking the question when the answer was obvious. Of course, she had been called in her to talk about Leif's idea. The idea that she didn't even know he had and that kind of bothered her since she was his superior but Joan was the one that said they needed a new idea, so, of course, he would go to her first. At the very least, Joan was looping her in now so she wasn't totally bombarded by their presentation. That was...something.

"Never mind," she said dismissing her own question. She looked away from Joan and back to the tablet in hand that showed sketches of Leif's idea. She looked back up when Joan began speaking.

"I was going to fill you in more before we gave the presentation but you decided to use the elevator as your own personal amusement park ride this morning and wasted precious time."

Zoey cringed. "You saw that?"

"I see everything, Zoey."

"Right," she said with a nod of her head. She, then, gestured to the tablet in her hand. "And this is all you called me in here for?"

Joan gave a nod of her head. "Yes, Zoey."

"Right."

She crossed her arms on her desk. "I need you to round up everyone and let them know that we'll be giving a presentation soon. Also, I need Leif in here, if you'll let him know for me."

"Aye-aye captain!" Zoey said with a mock salute to her boss that she instantly regretted. "That I can do."

"Don't ever do that again," Joan said half-heartedly.

Reflexively, Zoey gave her a thumbs up. "You got it!"

Flushed with embarrassment, Zoey turned on her heel and set out to do as Joan had asked of her. Before she got to the office door, Joan's voice was calling her back.

"Zoey?"

"Yes?" She asked a little too eager as she turned around to face her boss.

Joan clicked her tongue and pointed at the tablet still in Zoey's hand. "That's mine."

Zoey hurried back over to Joan's desk and handed over the tablet. She couldn't help but notice that during the exchange of the tablet, Joan's hand lingered on hers a little longer than normal and she smiled before taking the tablet completely away and then used the same hand to gesture in a shooing motion. Zoey bowed her head before turning back around and finally exiting the office.

Zoey considered hiding herself in one of those isolation pods where their sole purpose was total isolation and complete focus on one's work. After the morning she had, being in complete isolation with her tablet and a true crime podcast episode as her only company sounded almost perfect. But she guessed as a supervisor, she needed to be more available to those she was supposed to be supervising, so she settled on another chair in which to curl up and code.

She had successfully avoided Simon for most of the day and the few times that she couldn't avoid him, Max, she was ever thankful for him, jumped in and saved her from a whole bunch of awkwardness. They even decided to get out of the office and go to lunch together somewhere not on a campus. A fact she was also ever thankful for because it got her out of the way of Simon and Joan.

Joan.

That was a different story today. Usually, before these last couple of weeks, she avoided Joan for different reasons. Since she wasn't completely sure how she wanted things to happen with Joan after their drunken kiss in the back of a car, avoidance seemed like the best approach. However, avoiding Joan wasn't as easy as it sounded. Especially today.

She had been called into a pseudo-meeting first thing this morning where Joan just wanted to show off Leif's idea and tell her that they'll loop her in more soon. Then, after the presentation, she was called back into Joan's office where she thought they were going to discuss their new tech idea but instead Joan just ended up telling her more details about her divorce and that she was doing really great. Save for a few bad mistakes. Zoey wasn't listened as a bad idea in Joan's list but maybe that was her way of hinting at it.

No, Joan was direct and blunt and didn't talk her way around things without ever getting to the actual point. So, that couldn't have been it. At least, Zoey didn't think so. And the idea of their kiss not being a mistake, calmed Zoey down a little even though she still had a nervousness about her. Then, just as she thought she could leave, Joan mentioned that she was thinking about getting back out there in the dating world. That she was ready.

Joan still hadn't mentioned their kiss or even alluded to it, not that Zoey thought she would at work, and she didn't want to overthink anything and assume that Joan was dropping a hint to her. That would be crazy. Joan was her boss. She couldn't date her boss.

Plus, there were still the feelings for Simon that just didn't disappear overnight like she had hoped they would. And then, there was the crown jewel that was Max who had sung a couple heart songs that further sent her spiraling into a land of confusion. He was her friend. Her best friend but apparently, he was harboring feelings for her like Simon, and like Joan maybe was now.

The whole thing was almost laughable. Yes, she had dated before and had boyfriends before, and a computer camp girlfriend that opened up her eyes to dating the same sex, but to have three people into her at the same time? That was a lot to process.

Not even the true crime podcast that she had blaring in her ears could drown out everything that was rolling around in her mind. And they usually calmed her down.

Plus, maybe Joan wasn't actually interested and it wasn't something that she needed to worry about. But there wasn't an easy way to find out that answer. One doesn't simply drunkenly kiss their boss and sweep it under the rug like nothing ever happened. Joan might've been too many drinks in to exclusively remember that part of the night but Zoey knew one thing, she couldn't forget it.

The only thing that jerked Zoey out of her rambling thoughts was the taking off of her headphones that she reflexively reached up for to find that Max was the one behind the interruption.

"This is a podcast about the Golden State Killer," Max said after listening to what was playing from her headphones.

"True crime calms me down," Zoey defended as she took her headphones back from Max.

"Okay, well since you were off in serial killer land, I'm going to say that you didn't notice Joan pointing and calling you into her office, oh for like the past two minutes now," Max replied and used his eyes to direct Zoey's attention to their boss' office where Joan sat with Leif.

Sure enough, Joan was watching them and moving her finger in a 'come hither' motion directing it at Zoey.

"Again?" Zoey complained. "That's like the third time today. What could she want now?"

Max shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, it's Joan, she could want literally anything. And I mean anything."

Zoey groaned. She thought she was in the clear for today but that didn't look like it was happening. "But calling me into the office three times? Seems like overkill for today."

"Maybe someone has a crush," Max teased.

Zoey's eyes widened at that. And she grew suspicious. "What?" she asked with a little nervous laugh. "Who said anything about that?"

"Relax Zoey, it was just a joke," Max assured her. He reached out and put a hand on her shoulder. "Is everything okay? You seem a little off today."

She shook her head. "I'm just a little tired."

"Alright," Max said, his tone a little disbelieving. "Well you better go, don't want to keep Joan waiting any longer."

"Right," Zoey replied as she was already turning away from Max and heading towards Joan's office.

Back in Joan's office for the third time today, Zoey walked up to see Joan and Leif sitting on the same side of the desk. She politely knocked on the door-frame and waited for Joan to acknowledge her before she fully entered the office.

"You wanted to see me?" she asked.

"Finally," Joan said as she noticed Zoey. "You took long enough."

"Sorry, I was working on some code and I just got wrapped up in it," Zoey lied and hoped that Joan believed her.

"Good, that's why I called you in here," Joan replied, looking up at Zoey. "I have a few calls to make right now so I want you and Leif to get together and begin working more on this idea."

"Right now?" Zoey asked.

"Preferably yesterday because this is a golden idea of a product," Joan answered. "So, yes, right now."

"Okay," Zoey sighed. "Anything else?"

"Nope," Joan answered quickly, already shuffling papers around on her desk and reaching for her phone. "Just need you two to get started so we'll have something soon that we can actually present as a viable product."

Zoey nodded her head in response. With no more being said, she motioned for Leif to follow her out of Joan's office so they could find a spot to work as they were requested.

Later that night, after working the rest of her day with Leif who made it obvious that he would prefer to work with Joan, Zoey was finally packing up her things and getting ready to leave for the day. She slipped her headphones over her ears and started up another episode of a true crime podcast as she wound her way through the office and headed towards the elevator. Distant voices played over the voices coming through her headphones and her curiosity got the better of her. She slipped the headphones off and crept slowly towards the voices to find that Joan and Leif were standing in the conference room talking.

Her name popped up. That she wasn't surprised about since Leif seemed to relating everything back to Joan that they had worked on earlier. But what made her stop in her tracks, was when Leif started coming on to Joan. Judging by the look on her face, Joan seemed just as disturbed at what Leif was implying as she did. Her inner voice was screaming 'no' over and over again as music began to play in the background and Leif began to sing a heart song to Joan. Their boss.

Zoey was horrified. And not only because this was Leif and she had her own personal issues with him but his heart song was very telling of his intentions. If there was ever a time for her to interfere in her boss' personal life and stop her from making another bad mistake, this was it.

She just had to wait for Leif to finish singing because she knew that trying to interfere while someone was singing their heart song did not work out. That is if the idea of Leif trying to seduce their boss with terrible intentions didn't make her sick first. Luckily, the song was short and as soon as Leif was trying to hit on Joan again, Zoey rushed over to them.

"Hey guys, what's going on?"

She could tell Leif was mad at her when he spoke. "Actually Zoey, Joan and I were in the middle of something."

"Oh, I know," Zoey said, eyeing him carefully and wedging herself between the two. "I just had a few questions that I need to ask Joan."

"Leif," Joan said as she looked over Zoey's head at the guy in question. "I believe we're done here for the night. We'll reconvene in the morning."

Leif tried to protest but Joan cut him off and reiterated the fact that they could go over everything else tomorrow. Zoey looked over her shoulder to watch Leif begrudgingly pick up his things and leave. She tossed him a little smile and wave just to mess with him before she looked back to face Joan.

"You had some questions for me, Zoey?" Joan asked.

"Well, actually," Zoey took a few steps back from Joan. "Not really. I just...okay, here's the thing."

"Yes?"

She just needed to spit it out. "I'm your friend and I just had to tell you that I had a feeling that Leif was trying to come on to you and you mentioned your bad mistakes and Leif would definitely be a bad mistake. If not the worst. Plus, I'm pretty sure his intentions are sketchy."

Zoey waited for Joan's reactions and was both relieved and a little confused when she started to laugh.

"Oh my God, Leif?" Joan asked through a laugh. "Zoey, come on, give me some credit."

Zoey had started to laugh along with her. "It is a pretty ridiculous idea."

"Very," Joan said with a smile. "It would never happen. It flies in the face of everything I believe in regarding workplace professionalism. I'm his boss."

Zoey sucked in a deep breath. Maybe that was her answer. She wasn't even completely sure of her feelings for Joan or if she had any at all but hearing Joan talking about workplace professionalism felt like a punch in the gut when their kiss had been on her mind all day.

"Right, you're his boss, and that is totally unprofessional and wrong," Zoey started to babbled. "And you're very professional, so you wouldn't ever do that. Kiss one of your co-workers, that's absurd. And you're my boss too."

"Zoey," Joan interjected. "Are you done?"

"I guess I am now."

"Good. That was a lot of nonsense but I think I know what you're trying to say."

"You do?"

Joan gave a nod of her head. "If you're referring to Simon's engagement party, which is the only thing there is to refer to, I do remember what happened between us. And you're right, it was unprofessional."

"Right, unprofessional," Zoey agreed.

"But," Joan said as she took a step towards Zoey. "I don't regret what happened."

Zoey stood rooted in her spot. "You don't?"

"I was drunk, yes, very," she said as she took another step closer. "But I still knew what I was doing. Even if it was wrong."

Zoey stayed silent and stared up at Joan because in just a few seconds, Joan had closed the small gap between them and stood so close that they were almost touching. And now they were touching because Joan had reached out and brushed a few strands of hair that had fallen in front of her face.

"Do you regret what happened Zoey? You have been acting a little stranger than normal today."

"I..." Zoey tried to process all that was happening. "I don't."

"Okay," she smiled. "Let's have dinner."

"Tonight?"

Joan shook her head. "Not tonight, it's already late. Friday, I'll send a car to pick you up. Sound good?"

"Yep," Zoey found herself agreeing before she even knew exactly what it was that she was agreeing to. "Sounds great."

"Friday," Joan agreed. "I'll see you in the morning, Zoey."

As Zoey was trying to figure out what she agreed to by going to dinner with Joan, Joan was already packing up everything of hers that was spread out on the table beside them. She waved by to Joan as she exited and hope that her exit wasn't met with another heart song because after everything today, she wasn't sure if she could handle it. Zoey was grateful that she was only met with silence as she watched Joan walk out of view. She threw her headphones back on and immersed herself in a podcast as she hurried out of the building with her apartment in mind and to the one person that could help her navigate this new path that opened up because of her powers.

[quaalussy]

Dreamboy Episode 6: Jupiter’s Lifeless Moons transcript

Hi! I was looking online to see if anyone had been doing Dreamboy transcripts and I saw that there was nothing after episode five, so I’ve started on the rest, episode six first. Sorry in advance for any spelling or grammar mistakes, I’m dealing with lots of run on sentences here. Anyway I hope you enjoy, more transcripts to come (I’m gonna try to do all the bonus episodes and such). Also: if you’re looking to hire a transcriptionist for your podcast or anything else please feel free to shoot me a message, I’m always looking for work 

Enjoy! If you’d rather have a pdf copy I’d be happy to send that to you too.

DANE

The dream is different this time. It starts in the dark like always, but this time I'm laying down. I’m curled up on something rough. I lift my head up. I feel like I'm moving. Oh my god, I’m inside the fish. I’m laying on its tongue. But it’s like it’s tongue is the whole bottom of the inside of the fish, and the inside of the fish is huge. It’s like the whole thing is hollow, and it has ridges like the inside of a throat. I stand up and look around. It’s daytime outside and the light is coming through the mouth and eyes like windows. I just stare at that ghostly daylight face, swaying slowly side to side as the fish swims. I have this sudden urge to look out, to look out of the mouth. So I walk to the front of the tongue. I walk right up to its giant jaws. The bones lay open just a little bit, and then they close and I feel the water come in, wash over my face, push my hair back. Outside I can see the tops of rocky spires, like underwater mountains or something, passing underneath us, and I want to see, I want to look but that means I have to lean my head out of its mouth, between its jaws. I think about it. Another intake of water blows my hair back. 

[WATER RUSHES IN]

The mouth is exactly the height of my head, and I reach out and touch the bone jaw, and then I pull my hand back and wait. Nothing. Maybe the fish doesn’t know I’m in here. I reach out and touch the jaw again, but this time I leave my hand on it. Nothing. Just the rhythm of swimming. God, it feels so sharp. I swallow, and I lean my head out over the razor edge, and I look down into the water at the rocky spires passing underneath, but they aren’t spires, they’re not mountains, they’re buildings. The tops of tall skyscrapers all fuzzy and covered in moss and algae. It’s a whole city. It’s downtown Cleveland.

[SWOOSHING NOISES]

DANE

I wake up. The bright, late morning sun is coming through the windows of the guest bedroom, and my hand immediately goes to my dick, but it’s soft.

[SOFT MUSIC]

DANE

I get up and put on my wrinkled red shirt and slog my way to the zoo for work. On my way I text Luke, just a simple “hey, WYD”, but he doesn’t answer. He never responded to my goodnight text last night, either. Like, maybe he’s mad? About the cakes? I don’t know. I almost walk into traffic because I'm staring at the message thread. I stop at Settler’s Coffee, and I text him again. I say “I had another fish dream, they’re getting weirder.” I watch my phone intently as I cream and sugar my coffee. I use the simple syrup even though it’s hot coffee, just to have a hand free for my phone. But nothing. I get to work. Maybe he’s still asleep. He is pretty nocturnal. Work is stupid, we’re understaffed so I spend six and a half hours straight at the roller coaster podium. I stop saying that whole de-briefing room line about three hours in, and I text Luke a few more times, but he still doesn’t answer. And then I run out of things to text without feeling like a crazy creep. Now it’s a half an hour before close and I'm only just now getting a lunch break because Tammy Jammers, who usually watches the ride while I’m out on break, called out sick today. She said she had food poisoning, but I know she’s just hungover. Her last Instagram post was at three A.M. last night, and it was a picture, taken with a flash, of Taco Bell that she put on a plate. I go out to the main drag to get food like I always do, but the only food place still open is the hot dog stand, and I just can’t with those. They’re like the same temperature and texture as a human body so they make your mouth feel like it’s kissing someone you don’t like. Hot dog? Lukewarm dog more like. A breeze blows. [sighs] It’s getting colder, so I go back inside into the hall of history which is just this longstupid hallway

[OPERA ARIA IN BACKGROUND]

in the same building as the roller coaster. I have to walk through it every day when I go on lunchbreak, but I never actually stop because I only get thirty minutes for lunch break, and it takes twenty minutes just to get through the fucking food line, so I have to run through there, and it’s just like dusty plaques and old maps and stuff. There’s like a few old exhibits that don’t work. It’s, like, where grandparents go to hang out on hot days. Which you would think meant that they had more places to sit down, but.... I look down at my phone again. Nothing. There’s also this weird music playing, and it’s skipping like…. I look up and see a wall with the words “who's who” painted really big on the top of it, and underneath there’s like a bunch of buttons with flaps. I run my finger around one of the buttons and just like accidently the button pushes in and this voice recording starts to play. It’s Kritch! 

ELI KRITCH

You love grapes and naps. Before your life here at the Pepper Heights Zoo, you were an animal pioneer for NASA and actually went into space! After that, you spent many years at an interstate sideshow in the Florida Panhandle doing a high society routine. To this day you still listen to opera to fall asleep. Which Pepper Heights animal friend are you?

DANE

The recording ends. I lift up the flap. It says “you are the chimpanzee, Madam Beauregard.” Great. That’s creepy. I look back down at my phone. Still nothing. It’s not that I like... it’s not that I like need to talk to him or anything, it’s just that, like, it’s just the not knowing is fucking awful. Like, just text me back! How hard is it to text somebody back? I look back at the wall. There’s an arrow pointing to a smaller button next to Madam Beauregard’s name, and it says “push button to hear your favorite aria”, but the music is stuck in which totally explains the skipping music. Jesus Christ, it’s probably an actual CD player behind this fucking wall with this place. I look at my phone. Fucking nothing. Earlier in the day, right after I asked if he was mad, I saw the little dots

VOICES [sung]

Where is Luke?

DANE

You know, the little dots that mean somebody’s typing back. And I… I watched them, and then they disappeared and they never started again.

VOICES [sung]

Where is Luke?

DANE

And ever since then my head has just been full of all the little voices that say all the little things.. 

VOICES [sung] Where is Luke? 

Ughhh Jesus fuck, now they have music. That’s great.

VOICES [sung[

Where is Luke?

DANE

 Yeah I don’t really care where he’s at. And why are there so many buttons in this exhibit? Like, there’s no way there’s this many animals that still live here. Like, most of the exhibits are shut down, these animals are probably dead. 

VOICES [sung]

Losers

DANE

And the seven that are here are like not the kind of animals you want to push a button and hear about, right? 

VOICES [sung]

Losers 

DANE They’re like, retired circus freaks and movie animals that can’t work anymore. 

VOICES [sung]

Losers, losers, losers

DANE

It’s like this whole place just attracts washed up showbiz animals. 

VOICES 

Just like you!

DANE

[sighs] Yeah thanks I connected that. I look down at my phone. Again. Nothing. Again. I don’t even know why I keep checking. I mean, I turn my vibration notifications on so I wouldn’t have to check but I still check. So I open up instagram to see if he’s posting there, but he’s not. It’s just the picture that he posted late last night. The one of the blue hand on his neck that we took in front of the tunnel. It’s already got like three thousand likes, Jesus Christ. I check my texts again. Why am I checking it, I'm holding it. So I open up Grindr. I check his profile. He’s not on. It says he hasn’t been on in hours. So I open up my texts again and I just look at it, I just LOOK. UGHH why won’t he text?!

VOICES

Cause he’d rather spend time with strange old men than talk to me.

DANE

It’s like they practice in there while I’m sleeping, Jesus. I look back up from my phone. Now I’m in front of some sort of ice age diorama, like, why? There’s a caveman standing over a wolf that he’s just killed, and there’s blood everywhere. And behind that, really small in a cave, there’s a woman and a child, waiting for him all terrified. But right next to the cave in the dark where you can’t see is another wolf, and nobody sees it. And then another face appears in the glass. I turn around. It’s Kritch. Or, like, Kritch’s face, on a TV, in an exhibit on the opposite wall. I walk over. He’s younger. It’s weird seeing young Kritch, I mean it’s like still my boss but, you know, smoother. It’s some sort of like special news piece from like twenty years ago. 

KRITCH

Oh I certainly think the people over at Stonefall Labs can appreciate what we are doing over here. And for the record I do not believe that they are covering up any discoveries of alien life. That’s quite frankly preposterous. I can assure you they were in fact only only doing a geological survey of the moons of Jupiter, on contract from NASA, like they say. I just think they came up at the end of that, did more to make a big deal of it, we all have swings and misses sometimes, but I thought I’d take my own swing. 

DANE 

Boy, his smile hasn’t changed, that’s for sure. The video ends and there’s a black screen with a logo that says “The Zenarc Corporation”. I see my face in the screen. 

[SWOOSHING NOISES/MUSIC]

DANE

It’s taken me a couple weeks of working here to piece it all together, but I do sort of know a little bit about what Kritch’s talking about in this video. See, in the late fifties the Stonefalls built this private research and development site called Stonefall Labs on the other side of the woods from the zoo. All sorts of things were developed there over the years, everything from, like, ketchup recipes and zip-ties to lots of darker things I’m sure we don’t know about. Like they famously patented the first answering machine, for example. It was as big as a room. It got sabotaged by this secret group of secretaries, though. Which is a cool story, but later. Anyway, because of some sort of technology that they had patented, they got a contract from NASA in the eighties to survey Jupiter’s moons to look for the possible presence of a specific isotope of helium called helium two. Now, scientists thought helium two was going to be like the rocket fuel of the future, it was going to revolutionize space exploration they thought. And this was all public knowledge there was even a little article in the paper, but nobody really cared. However, Stonefall labs found nothing. Zip. And at first they just said that there was problems with their equipment, but then weeks went by and then months and they said nothing. And they stayed quiet for so long that it started to attract attention, and people started to say maybe they in fact had found something a lot more interesting than helium deposits on the moons of Jupiter. Which, of course, that blew up like a house fire and pretty soon there was this huge conspiracy theory and speculation and a media frenzy. But at the same time while that was all going on, the young Elias Kritch had just taken over the helm of the Pepper Heights Zoo from his late father, Eddie. Despite the fact that another Kritch in charge of the zoo was like the last thing the Stonefalls wanted. But Eli was intent on leaving his mark, and he vowed to turn the zoo into a profitable enterprise, rather than just another suckling on the Stonefall money teet. So he said “I have an idea, how about a full on theatrical roller coaster experience called Jupiter’s Lifeless Moons”. The whole story inspired by the controversy. It was supposed to be this stepping stone into becoming a real amusement park, but he never made the money back. Like not even close. He put the zoo into permanent debt. The Stonefalls never let him live it down. And it only took a couple of years before the entire context was completely buried anyway. Pretty soon, nobody remembered anything at all about the Stonefall Lab’s Jovian lunar survey scandal, you know. But the ride stayed and here it is after all these years. The video starts to replay, Kritch starts talking again, and I start to walk away but I notice something I didn't see before: a rough disk with a hole in it hanging from a string around young Kritch’s neck. A disk with a hole in the middle… John Stonefall. What the…. I check my phone. 

VOICES [sung]

Where is Luke?

DANE

Still nothing. 

VOICES [sung]

Where is Luke?

DANE

Why can’t he just text back? 

VOICES [sung]

Where is Luke?

DANE

Whatever. 

LADY 1 [sung]

And could he really actually like me?

DANE

Yeah, probably not.

LADY 1 [sung]

Maybe I fucked it all up again

DANE

Probably.

LADY 1 [sung]

Maybe I’ll never know again

DANE

Whoa, that seems a little melodramatic

LADY 1 [sung]

Why do I even care?

DANE

You know, I don’t even care

LADY 1 [sung]

Do I even care?

DANE

 No. I don’t think I even care.

LADY 2 [sung]

This is textbook patriarchal communication

 MAN 1 [sung]

Maybe he’s not answering for a reason

DANE

I.. I know he’s mad at me for eating his cakes.

VOICES

Guilt!

DANE

Which, I did eat his cakes. 

VOICES 

Guilt!

DANE And lie to him 

VOICES

Guilt! Guilt!

DANE

Ughhhhh 

DANE [sung] Why do I feel guilty?

VOICES [sung]

Resentment

DANE [sung] I mean it’s not that big of a deal, Cora’s just a crazy lady.

VOICES [sung] Resentment

DANE [sung]

And the cakes were sent to the wrong house

LADY 2 [sung] I don’t know if that is true

DANE [sung] Why do I care? I don’t even like him at all

VOICES [sung] Where is Luke? 

DANE Wanna know where he’s at? I’ll tell you where he’s at.

DANE [sung]

He’s off somewhere being young and stupid

HIGH VOICES [sung]

Haul him off, haul him off, haul him off!

DANE [sung]

He’s off somewhere not knowing what he wants

VOICES [sung] We just met

DANE 

Yeah, we just met.

VOICES [sung]

We just met!

DANE [sung] He’s too laid back

LOW VOICES [sung] Too laid back

HIGH VOICES [sung]

Sleeps on the floor of an empty house

DANE [sung] I wish I could sleep on the floor in an empty house…. But I can’t!

DANE

Cause I have real responsibilities

DANE [sung]

Like he doesn’t do anything

HIGH VOICES [sung]

Do anything

DANE [sung]

Maybe he does and I just haven’t asked

VOICES [sung] Do anything, I didn’t do anything

DANE [sung] Maybe I’m the one

VOICES [sung] NOPE

DANE

Being a total dick

VOICES [sung] NOPE DANE Maybe I’m being a dick

VOICES [sung] I didn’t do anything 

VOICE 1 [sung]

He’s just a narcissistic twink!

DANE Yeah 

VOICE 1 [sung]

He’s just a narcissistic twink! DANE

Yeah

VOICES [sung]

A narcisistic, masochistic, fetishistic, sorta cryptic, dirty little selfish fucking twink! Who would rather be hit by strange old men than talk to me.

DANE Yeah, but I don’t care.

VOICES [sung] I don’t care! 

DANE

I gotta get outta here. Where are the doors, where are the doors, I just need some air. I fall through the double doors, out onto the main drag. Oh, god….The air is cool, but it feels good. There’s, like, silence for a minute. At least in my head. I hear an age-guesser guessing his last customer somewhere.

[AGE GUESSER SPEAKING IN BACKGROUND]

DANE A smattering of laughing through the trees. 

[LAUGHTER]

DANE

And I reach for my phone out of like instinct.

VOICE 1 [sung]

Where is Luke?

DANE

But then I stop myself because this is stupid

VOICE 1 [sung]

Where is Luke?

DANE

Like it's annoying that...

VOICE 1 [sung]

Where is Luke? DANE Like there’s some, some sort of..

VOICE 1 [sung]

Where is Luke? DANE

My body seems to have a question. Like a body question.

VOICE 1 [sung]

Where is Luke?

DANE 

That it keeps asking.

VOICE 1 [sung]

Where…

DANE

My phone vibrates in my pocket! I pull it out. It’s a Grindr message. I open up the app. Oh, he’s cute. His message just says “hey”. It also says he’s only 200 feet away. I look up and look around. I don’t see anyone who looks like him. I look back at his profile. He’s playfully flexing his arm in his photo and making a goofy face, standing shirtless and soaking wet next to a pool in someone’s backyard somewhere, and his dark hair looks darker because it’s wet, and his underarm hair is pasted to his body in little black flames. His headline says Alex. I look at the time. I have twenty minutes. [sighs] Fuck it. “Hey”, I say. “What’s up”, he says. “On break”, I say. “Me too”, he says. “You work at the zoo?” “No, Stonefall Labs. I came to get a hot dog”. Wow, yuck, really? But I couldn't pass up the opportunity for a bad joke so I said “ah, you like weiners, huh”. Coy emoji.”LOL, yep”, he says. Then, “do you?”, and immediately he sends a picture of his dick. Whoa. Fuck, it’s huge. It’s thicker in the middle and curves really dramatically, and it’s so hard in the picture that it looks like a dead thing that’s swollen up on the side of a path. “Wow” I say, “I’d love to put that in my mouth some time.” Coy face. “You should”, he says, “how about now?” “Where”, I say. “Men’s bathroom by the Dippin’ Dots. No one’s ever in there. I’m by there now.” Fuck, my heart is racing. The zoo closes in half an hour, and there’s like nobody here, and he’s right, that bathroom is so out of the way that nobody uses it hardly. Even the Dippin’ Dots guy won’t be there cause he’s watching the rollercoaster for me right now. I look down at his message again. Then at the clock. Seventeen minutes left. My heart is getting quicker. [sighs] ”Okay”, I say “I’ll come now”. “I’ll be waiting inside”, he says. Okay. A few seconds later I’m cutting across the main thoroughfare. Walking quickly. The breeze is cool on my face. The stands are mostly all closed and the rides are shutting down. The few people that are out are all workers, all walking the same direction to the front gate. Their faces lit from underneath by their own phones. I come around the corner by the closed up Dippin’ Dots stand, and I stop. There it is. The squat, gray bathroom building with that rusty water fountain on the side that hasn’t worked for so long that an out of order sign is no longer required. I see the door of the men’s bathroom. It’s closed, but there’s an edge of seering white light all around the heavy metal door. Okay, okay okay okay okay. I walk up to it. I look around. Nobody. The whole building seems to have a low hum. I take a breath, and I open the door. There’s a loud metal creak as the door opens. 

[CREAK]

DANE And the door catches on the concrete floor and doesn’t shut all the way. I kick it a couple times until it does. 

[DOOR SHUTS]

DANE

The metal bangs ring and echo off the tile. Then I round a tiled wall into the bright restroom, and I see him, standing at the far left urinal, his back to me. He doesn’t look back or move, the cold white lights buzzing and flickering all around. I check the stall on the other side of the little room. It’s empty. It’s door off one of its hinges and hanging there like an open jaw. I walk up slowly to the far right urinal, side eyeing the guy. I keep a urinal between us. I get there and I start to undo my pants. The light directly above the urinals is buzzing, loud. I glance over at him, but he doesn’t look back at me or anything. He doesn’t talk or move or acknowledge me at all. Like, what the fuck? I mean it’s definitely him, and he’s standing away from the urinal so that I can see his dick but he’s just peeing. I look back at the wall, and then I look back over at him. He is handsome, though. He’s a few inches taller than me and muscular, in baggy Carhartt pants and a large dirty gray t-shirt. There’s paint on his elbows and grease on his arms. I look back straight ahead. Okay, now what? I start to panic. I try to pee, but I really don’t have to go. One more time, I look over. He’s done now, shaking his dick. God, even soft it’s big. But he’s still ignoring me. He’s still shaking it, like, way longer than he should. Okay, it starts to get bigger as he swings it around. And then he starts pulling on it, and I'm just standing there watching him out of the side of my eye, holding my own dick in my hand. God, it’s getting bigger and bigger and less floppy, and slowly his pulling turns into gripping and stroking, and it gets thicker and tighter until after about a minute it’s as thick as I saw in the pic earlier. God, it looks angry, and I'm watching his hand run the length of it back and forth, trying not to look like I'm looking, lost in the rhythm, when I hear it- a voice coming from everywhere at once. I look up at the side of his face, straight at it. The lights above flicker a little. It had to be his voice, but he’s still not looking at me. He’s just watching his hand move over his own dick. But as I'm looking at the side of his face I see his lips move, and I hear his voice again. 

ALEX Come here. Get on your knees. 

DANE I take a breath, I turn, and I walk up next to him. I can smell his cologne, and I kneel down in front of the urinals. The floor is hard and a little wet on my knees, and I try not to think about why. He turns, swinging his dick toward my face, and finally his eyes look down into mine. The light is buzzing and pulsing above him, his body’s like a silhouette, and then he reaches down and puts his fingers in my mouth. They smell like solvents and metal, and he feels around like he lost something in my teeth. And it doesn’t seem like this would be hot but, god, something about it really is. And then he opens my mouth wider with his fingers and takes them out and traces the wetness of my spit up my face, and then grabs my hair and slowly puts his dick in. Past my lips, and then past my tongue, gentle but also steady. I feel it hit the back of my throat and stop. He grabs my hair harder and looks down at my eyes. I don’t know how, but I sort of nod with my face and eyes and make a sort of “uh-huh” sound, and he smiles and puts more pressure in his thrust. And I feel my throat iris out like a dark, wet camera. And he slides all the way down, until my face is against his body. He just holds me against him, and he breathes. I feel the entire inside of my throat and head stretched over his dick. I feel it reaching down into my chest. I feel like a butterfly on a pin. His smell fills my nose. It’s a thick, sweaty smell- the smell of baseball and locker rooms and the back of the bus. He just looks down at me, and I look up at him, and the light buzzes. 

[BATHROOM DOOR OPENS]

DANE

The metal bathroom door. He takes his dick out of my throat.

[DANE GAGS AND COUGHS]

DANE It almost makes me puke. I scramble to my feet and quickly get to the urinal. He turns and does the same. We both just stare at the wall in front of us, become strangers again. I hear someone round the tile wall behind us. I hear Alex zipping up his pants and flushing, quick. I do the same. I wipe the water from my eyes and I go to leave, but as I turn, I see the person who entered. It’s the Dippin’ Dots guy, Trey. 

DANE [to TREY] Oh, hey man. Wait, you’re not still watching the ride...

TREY [laughs] Nah. I guess some little girl dropped her teddy bear on the track, so I closed it up early, but I left her number on the control console. 

DANE

But you didn’t go get it?

TREY

Fuck no. I'm not climbing all those jank-ass ladders. 

DANE [to listener] Alex brushes past Trey and heads out of the bathroom. Trey doesn’t even look at him. It’s funny what straight boys just can’t see in bathrooms. I watch Trey disappear into the slack jaw of the stall without even trying to close the door, and then I hear him start to pee. 

[PEEING NOISES]

TREY

Later, dude!

DANE I get back to the roller coaster, it takes like twenty seconds. I go into the side door 

[DOOR OPENING]

The door shuts behind me. 

[DOOR SHUTTING]

And I take a breath. That was fucking intense. It all feels like it didn’t happen, but it just happened like a minute ago. I can still smell the dude on my face. Whoa [sighs]. All the colored lights and space music are gone, and the big overhead lights are on, but I know Trey’s dumb ass didn’t do any of the other closing duties. I walk up to my podium and I see the ride is switched into its standby mode, which means that both cars are nestled into the shuttle bay, and the power is off to the ride. In order to turn it all back on again, you need to put a special key in and turn the red lever, then you hear a big “kerchunk”, and the whole building sorta comes alive and the lights change and the music starts, but now it just looks like bad props and old paint in a bright warehouse, which is what it is. There’s the note Trey was talking about, though. It just says “little girl lost teddy on ride” and then a phone number. There’s not even a name. The keys are next to the note. I take them both and put them in my pocket. 

[KEYS JANGLING, POCKET RUSTLING]

DANE I finish the rest of the closing duties: sweep and mop the floors, wipe the glass on the doors, wipe the coaster cars down, and when everything’s done, I go through the utility door into the underbelly of the ride to look for the damn teddy bear. Under the ride there are work lights, these bare bulbs hanging from scaffolding, but they definitely don’t work, so I pull out my phone and turn on the flashlight. It smells like laser tag. You know, that... that special effects smoke that they use. Half the time when people drop something we find it in “The Net”, and we’re supposed to check “The Net” once a week but people never check it. Also, the net is so old that it has rips and tears and whole sections that have fallen down. It’s like the web of a giant spider that got bored and said “fuck it” and crawled away years ago. So, often things end up on the dusty floor, twenty or thirty feet below. I walk to a place where I can look up through the skeleton of the rollercoaster into the net by the big turn. That’s usually where people drop things, the big turn. No teddy bear. I point my phone light down onto the concrete floor below it. Nothing. Anything new down in this dusty world is immediately visible for its lack of gray dust fuzz. If it has color, it’s new. But I only see an endless field of small, linty shapes. Look, there’s one last place that things occasionally do end up. The moon platform. See, in the middle of the ride there’s this platform where the coaster stops, like full on stops, and this video plays. It’s supposed to be the surface of the moon that you land on, and it’s where you meet the alien that makes the name of the ride ironic, I guess. I’ve never actually ridden the ride so I don’t know, but, like, a rollercoaster with a video in the middle sounds like an awful idea. I’m standing at the base of the ladder to the platform, looking up. I give it a shake. 

[LADDER RATTLING]

It’s so loose that it wobbles and buckles all the way up, moaning and creaking. I hear a screw fall somewhere in the dark.

[SCREW FALLS]

DANE

[sighs] I take a breath and start to climb. 

[LADDER RATTLING]

DANE

I feel the swaying pull of my weight on the scaffolding. Jesus. More creaking. I just climb faster and faster, I just try not to look. Finally I get up to the top of the platform and pull myself up and dust myself off. 

[DUSTING OFF]

DANE

I stand up and look around. The platform is decorated to look like the rocky surface of a moon. Foam rocks, gray paint, that kinda thing. Still no sign of a teddy bear, though. I start to look behind the foam rocks. Maybe it got thrown. But then I hear a sound, a huge “kerchunk”. The work lights go off, the colored lights come on, and space music starts. The building groans, and something huge and metal begins to slither below me. Fuck, someone’s turned on the ride! I scramble to find the ladder in the dark, but I can’t, and I hear the coaster rumbling in the walls, it’s getting closer. Fuck! I don’t know what happens if I’m up here when the coaster comes, so I try to find the ladder again, but one foot slips off the edge of the platform. Holy fuck, I like almost fall. Jesus it woulda killed me, it’s like thirty feet straight down. The roar’s getting louder and louder and louder, I pull my leg back and I scoot behind a foam rock just as the coaster rounds the corner.

[COASTER WHOOSHING]

DANE There’s a person in it. The coaster slows and stops, locks into place. The screen lights up and the video begins, and in the light of the video I see that the person is Kritch, sitting in the middle front seat of the coaster, watching the screen, his arms in front of him on the lap bar. The moonscape continues in the video, making it look like the surface of the moon goes on for miles, and then there’s like eery moon music playing. Well, then a green alien emerges from behind a rock in the video, and it gets closer to us cautiously, and then it starts to speak. 

ALIEN IN VIDEO Greetings, earthlings aboard Shuttle 5. I’m a representative for the race of beings that has inhabited Moon 34 of the planet you call Jupiter for millions of years. Your civilization has remained unaware of our existence until this moment. We mean you no harm. We have no weapons, our technology is meager, but we know why you’ve come. The resource you seek is plentiful here, but its retrieval would destroy our home and lead to our certain demise, as we depend upon it for sustenance. We will restore your communications momentarily. However, we beg of you, do not disclose our existence to your superiors upon your return. You must report no helium two on Moon 34, the future of our species rests in your hands, earthlings of Shuttle 5. Good fortune and tidings to you.

DANE The video ends and the coaster comes unlocked and starts again.

[COASTER STARTING, ROLLING]

DANE

Kritch faces front, and I see him wipe his eyes. I must have stood up during the alien’s speech. I crouch back down and hide again quickly. Fuck, I hope he didn’t see me. I listen to the coaster disappear down another hill as the onboard computer says “malfunction, malfunction, returning to Jupiter base [unintelligible]. The roar fades. [sighs] I breathe out. Then I get up and start feeling around for the ladder. A few minutes later, I fall through the utility door back into the launch room, almost coughing from the fake smoke. What the fuck was Kritch doing riding a kid’s ride all by himself in the middle of the fucking night? [sighs] What a weirdo. I hear the coaster make the last of the big turns. I just wanna get out of here, so I slip out quickly  the way that the kids come out, through the debriefing room. The debriefing room is just a room with two big light-up buttons under a sign that says “MISSION REPORT”. I stop. The buttons… The buttons. I’ve never really understood them before now. There’s a red one and a green one, and the red button says “no helium present on moon” and the green button says “helium present on moon”, but it’s the green button that’s worn so much that it’s barely legible. I get closer. The glow of green gets brighter on my face. I don’t understand, the kids rat out the alien? That’s fucked up. I reach out and touch the green button. It’s rough from years of well-behaved, terrified children. But then, and I don't know why really, I reach over and press the red button. It blinks three times. 

KRITCH

Good choice.

DANE [to listener]

It’s Kritch. I didn’t hear him slip in. 

DANE [to Kritch]

Oh, um, I was... I was just uh leaving.

KRITCH It’s okay.

DANE [to listener]

He walks up beside me and looks at the buttons.

KRITCH

It is curious.

DANE [to Kritch]

What’s curious?

KRITCH Well, I didn’t expect it either but it’s true. All the kids push the green button.

DANE [to listener]

He’s not looking at me. He’s staring at the green button, his fingers running over that same rough patch. 

KRITCH They tell the truth because they know they’re supposed to or they will get in trouble. But the grown-ups? They choose red. 

DANE [to listener]

He looks over at the red button. His hand drops and his smile flattens.

KRITCH Because they know the truth about trouble.

DANE [to Kritch]

What’s the truth about trouble?

DANE [to listener]

He turns towards me. I can see that his eyes are still wet, and his suit is, like, way too shiny, and it’s reflecting the red and green lights. He takes a step towards me. 

KRITCH That you’re always in trouble. 

DANE [to listener] And then leans down until his face is like right over mine.

KRITCH And sometimes a little lie can really help with how much.

DANE [to listener]

The zoo is deserted. It’s after close now. All the lights on all the rides are out. Kritch said he would close up the ride and that I could go, so I started to head for the gate. I haven’t checked my phone in a while, but just as I'm reaching for it I hear something. 

[ANIMAL CRYING]

DANE

A crying sound. Zoe. I stop. Something is different about the sound this time.

[ANIMAL CRYING]

DANE

I turn around and walk slowly along the side of the huge building that houses both the rollercoaster and Zoe’s enclosure. The sound usually sounds like it’s far away, like in a cave, but this time it sounds very close. I round the corner and there she is, only like fifteen feet from me, in a small cement stall with an iron gate around it standing over a drain. She yelps when she sees me.

[ZOE YELPS]

DANE I scream a little bit and turn to run around the corner, and boom! I almost run into someone.

DANE [to person]

Oh I'm sorry I… 

DANE [to listener]

it’s Jennifer. 

JENNIFER Did you miss me?

DANE [to Jennifer]

Fuck. I should have known I'd see you. Wherever there’s shadows and secrets there you are a sneakin’.

JENNIFER Look who’s talking. You’re the sneak tonight. Sneak.

DANE [to Jennifer] What are you even doing here?

JENNIFER What are you even doing here?

DANE [to Jennifer] I’m at my job. It’s a thing grown-ups do.

JENNIFER Pssh. Grown-up? Nice shirt. I’m here for the rally, stupid.

DANE [to listener]

She holds up a flier to my face, like a brat. I recognize it from Emily’s porch yesterday. It says “save Zoe rally at the zoo”. Fuck, that’s today? I don’t even know the date. I look back down at her stupid face. 

DANE [to Jennifer]

You know what? You oughta go back and say hi to your little friend Zoe, stick your face through that gate and see if she’ll kiss ya’. 

DANE [to listener]

Jennifer looks at me with almost pity, and then she starts laughing. 

JENNIFER [laughing]

DANE [to Jennifer]

What’s so funny?

JENNIFER

[laughing] Oh, Zoe can’t hurt me. 

DANE [to Jennifer]

Why not?

DANE [to listener]

She steps closer to me. She’s holding a piece of cardboard with “SAVE ZOE” written on it. 

JENNIFER Because Zoe the zebra is dead. 

[THEME MUSIC]

ELLIE HAYMEN Dreamboy is co-created by Dane Terry and Ellie Haymen. Developed and directed by Ellie Haymen. Written, composed, and performed by Dane Terry, featuring Cecil Baldwin, Avery Draut, Michael St. Peter, Jake Sellers and Chris Weingarten. Sound Designed, Engineered, Mixed and Mastered by Christopher Weingarten at Bananappeal Studio. Edited by Alexander Charles Adams. Creative Producer and Assistant Director: Ashlin Hatch. Associate producer: Adam Cecil. Executive Producer: Christy Gressman. A very special thanks to Night Vale Presents. You can find us on Twitter and Instagram @dreamboypodcast. For more info and for merch check out dreamboypodcast.com. 

[anagentinwriting]

Subscribe - Part 6

Summary: (Modern AU) Peter was your college sweetheart until a certain event led to your break up. Seven years later another event brings you two back together, but this time a little girl is in the picture. Will listening to your podcasts be the reason you two get back together or be another reason to keep you apart?

Pairing: Peter Quill x Reader

Word Count: 1909

Warnings: Language, Hospitals, Angst

Subscribe Masterlist / Main Masterlist

Your eyelids were heavy. They felt like a heavy curtain you were too afraid to open. They were like a shield protecting you from what was waiting on the other side. Someone was talking, but you couldn’t place their voice. It reminded you of someone, but you were certain your mind was playing tricks on you. 

“I have been hearing about all the adventures you took with Star-Lord on your podcasts. Your listeners must enjoy hearing about them; otherwise, I know you wouldn’t be sharing them. To be honest, I forgot about those random trips to our favorite spot, or the time I choked on a grape and you had to give me the Heimlich,” he breathed, letting out a soft chuckle. “It’s a shame I wasn’t around when you were going through your biggest adventure alone. I wish I would’ve been there with you. I wish I chased after you that day. I wish I never let you go. I’m sorry.”

You felt a warm pressure on your hand as if this was the warmth you’ve been searching for. You shifted towards it as you slowly opened your eyes to find Peter next to you holding your hand. You stretched your legs as a pain traveled up your side. It was like pins and needles poking and prodding all the way up to your head, resulting in the worst headache you ever felt. Peter flashed his eyes to yours, seeing both relief and worry in them.

What was happening? Where were you? Why was he here? You haven’t seen him in 7 years. As much as you hated to admit it, the scruff on his face made him even more handsome. You could feel your throat tightening up as you started coughing hard, forcing you to squeeze your eyes shut. When you opened your eyes for a quick second you see someone in scrubs run into your room with a pitcher of water. She filled a glass and handed it to you with a straw. 

“Don’t drink this too fast, okay?”

You nodded, taking small sips of water from the straw. Your eyes flashed to the chair Peter was sitting in before, but no one was there. Was Peter there or was your mind playing tricks on you? 

“Do you remember what happened? Do you know where you are?”

“I don’t remem....” you croaked, clearing your throat. You take another sip of water before continuing. “The hospital.”

“Good. Yes. I’m your doctor, Dr. Palmer. I have contacted my colleague, who has been consulting with me on your case. He should be here shortly. Are you in any pain?”

“My left side and my head.” 

She adjusted a switch on the tube to give you more pain meds. “If I may ask, what was the last thing you remembered before you woke up here?”

“Um…dropping my daughter off at school and then waking up here. Shit--” your eyes shot up to her “--my daughter.” 

“She’s fine. She has been visiting you almost every day she could with your sister and her father.” Your eyes grew wider as you took another sip, and started coughing as the water went down the wrong hole. “Easy, YN.” You nodded, holding your hand over your mouth to get the coughing under control. 

“Was there...um...was there a guy here earlier?”

“Oh, you mean Peter, Meredith's Dad?” She questioned with a knowing smirk. “Yes, he brought everyone on the floor coffee to get in to see you after hours. But don’t worry, it will be our little secret.”

“Wait, you got coffee, I didn’t get coffee,” another doctor frowned, stepping into the room. “Whoever this guy is? He owes me a coffee. Hi YN, I’m Dr. Strange.” You nodded, acknowledging him.

“He’s in the hallway on the phone, Strange. Don’t be so stubborn.” 

“I wouldn’t have to be if he got me a coffee, too.” You shake your head at them. “Excuse us, but we need to run a few more tests to make sure the accident didn’t do any further damage we couldn’t see.”

“Accident? What accident?” You asked as you tried to remember what happened.  

“You didn’t tell her yet?”

“I was just about to?” Dr. Palmer stated. “You were in an accident, and have been in a coma for the past 8 days.”

________

Having slept for the past eight days, you still couldn’t believe how tired and exhausted you were. It felt like you got no sleep at all. After running a couple of tests, a nurse came and pushed you in a wheelchair back to your room. You were ready to go back to sleep, but the figure sitting in the same chair Peter was in woke you right up. You smiled at Gamora as the nurse helped you back into bed. Once the nurse left, Gamora sat on the bed, pulling you into a tight hug.

“Ow, ow, ow,” you whined, forcing Gamora to squeeze you harder.

“Stop complaining,” she smirked, pulling away. “I’m happy you’re awake. Mer and I were making bets to when you would wake up.”

“Of course you were.” You narrowed your eyes at her as a carefree smile spread across your face. Deep down, you knew Gamora felt relieved. Growing up, she never liked showing her emotions because they made her feel weak. She keeps them hidden so she can be strong for everyone else.

“How are you feeling? Do you remember anything that happened or is it too soon to talk about?”

“So eager with the questions,” you stated. “I don’t remember anything leading up to the accident or after. The doctors told me it's normal for our brains to block out those traumatic events, so there's a chance I won’t remember at all. I am feeling pretty good, but it does feel like I got hit by a dump truck.”

“Haha, you’re hilarious,” Gamora snickered, rolling her eyes.

“Anything interesting happen while I was sleeping?”

“No. It was uneventful.”

“Bullshit,” you chimed in, narrowing your eyes at her. “You told Peter. He knows about Mer.”

She sighed. “Remember the promise you wanted me to keep.” You shrugged, staring down at your hands. “If anything happened to you, I’d call him. He deserved to know, and I didn’t know what was going to happen. I mean, you could’ve died. Besides, I had to go to work, and I needed someone to watch her. Nebula has been out of town a lot lately, and this was a big case that needed all my attention.”

“I understand.” You reached out, squeezing her hand. “He was bound to find out at some point. How did he take the news?”

“At first he thought she was mine, but then I corrected him. He seemed shocked, nervous, and confused all in a matter of a few seconds. He wanted to know why you never told him, and I told him it wasn’t my place to say,” she explained as you bit your lip. “But you wouldn’t believe how good he is with her. He took her on hikes, brought her to visit you, picked her up after school, and helped her with homework.” 

“He did...he did all that with her?”

“Yeah, he wanted to get her mind off things and have fun. Peter thought it's what you would've done. I'm still surprised by how fast he took to her. They've really grown to love each other in such a short amount of time.”

“Meredith wears her heart on her sleeve.”

“Like you do,” Gamora implied, forcing you rolled your eyes. 

“Used too,” you corrected her. “How was Meredith doing with everything happening?”

“At first she didn’t understand what was going on and why she couldn’t see you. I tried my best to explain, and I think I got through to her. Anyways, Peter agreed to take her the first night you were here since I had work to catch up on. From what he told me, it was an interesting night for him.”

“Why? What happened?”

“Well, Mer locked herself in his guest bedroom for a few hours. He called me multiple times, but I didn’t hear it go off, so he left me a voicemail. He was freaking out because he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know if he could do this, but when I called him back, I knew something changed,” she reassured. “The next day I saw them I knew he told her the truth...”

“About being her father.”

“Yes.

“Is he still here?” Your eyes wandered over to the door.

“No, he’s with Mer at my house,” Gamora responded. “He called me as soon as you woke up. He thought it would be better to see my face rather than his.”

“Makes sense.”

“Are you going to talk to him?” Gamora questioned, raising her eyebrows.

You shrugged. “At some point. When I woke up, I saw him here, but I didn’t think it was real. I thought I was being delusional.” Gamora shot you a knowing look. “What?”

“You’re an idiot? He still cares about you.” 

You huffed, shaking your head. “Don’t be ridiculous. It’s been seven years, knowing him he has a new woman or women in his life.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure. I mean, what reason does he have to come here this late at night?” Gamora hinted, making you roll your eyes. “I should get going, and you should get some rest. I have court in the morning."

“Will you come back tomorrow?”

“Yes, and I will bring the little Bug, too,” Gamora assured, leaning in to give you another tight hug.

“Thank you for everything,” you grunted into her ear.

“It’s what families do, but I’m not the only one you should be thanking.”

“I know. I know. Love you, Gam,” you replied, waving at her. 

“Love you, too, sis,” she winked, walking out the door and leaving you alone with your thoughts. 

_________

Peter waved goodbye to Gamora as she drove out of the driveway. He wanted someone to be with you and knew he wasn’t the right person. You wouldn’t want to see him, and he didn’t blame you. He shut off the porch light, locked the door, and went to lay down on the couch. 

You were awake, and he couldn’t be more relieved. He wanted to talk to you, but it felt like it was too soon.  Besides, what was he going to say to you? Did you still hate him after all these years? Are you going to allow him to stay in Meredith’s life? His eyes drifted closed, but his head continued to fill with questions.

“Daddy, daddy,” Meredith whispered, poking him in the nose. Peter grunted, opening his eyes to find Meredith standing next to him. “Why are you here?”

“Hey, Twig.” He sat up, rubbing his eyes. “I'm here...I'm here because your mom woke up.”

“She did,” she squealed, jumping up and down. “Can we go? Can we go see her now?” 

Peter chuckled, placing his hands on her small shoulders. “Calm down. We will, but she needs to rest, and I'm sure her doctors are running tests.”

“Okay, but we will, right? You’ll come with when we do.”

“I can’t promise you anything, but I will try.  Now go back to sleep, and I'll be here when you wake up.”

“Okay, Daddy. Love you.” She jumped into his arms, hugging him tightly. 

“Love you, too, Twig.”

AN: The reader is finally awake! Any theories on what's going to happen next? Do you think she will let Peter continue to see Meredith? Or will the reader not want Meredith anywhere near him? As always thanks for reading and comments are always welcome. 

[dork-empress]

A Nightmare’s Nightmare

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply

Category: M/M

Fandom: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)

Relationship: Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone)

Characters: Kravitz (The Adventure Zone), Taako (The Adventure Zone)

Additional Tags: Nightmares, simulation of dying

Kravitz hasn't seen the need to sleep in centuries. When Taako convinces him to, it isn't as relaxing as Taako makes it seem.

Kravitz wasn’t just sitting around doing nothing but work before he met Taako, despite what Taako seemed to think.

The Raven Queen wasn’t a hard boss. He had earned time off occasionally. He went into some new town and enjoyed some of the culture, to see how time had changed things. Obviously he was most interested in any music and how it had developed. He loved going to concerts, and had strong opinions on how music had changed (In the Raven Queen’s name, he was so glad they moved past Baroque. All that extra flourishes for absolutely no reason just to prove they could. Where was the heart to it? The emotion? He...may have annoyed some of his fellow reapers with this line of thinking.)

The point was, while he wasn’t as in touch with the living world as he was recently, he wasn’t exactly living under a rock either.

The one thing he hadn’t done in a long, long while was sleep. There didn’t seem much point to it. It didn’t change or develop with culture, like music or the arts. He didn’t really need it. It just seemed like a waste to spend 8 or so of his precious free hours doing….nothing.

Taako didn’t need sleep either, but he loved it. Kravitz initially mocked him for being too lazy to meditate, but he did seem genuinely more refreshed after a long sleep session. And a refreshed Taako was a happy Taako, so Kravitz was happy too.

It wasn’t an ISSUE really. Kravitz loved cuddling with Taako, and Taako apparently loved balancing the cold from Kravitz skin with the warmth of his overly fluffy blanket, “Thermal equilibrium, babee,” Taako yawned at him one day, moving his head around Kravitz chest to find the optimal pillow placement.

Kravitz was happy to have Taako curled up beside him, but it left him with very little to do. He didn’t want to move, and disrupt Taako’s sleep. Looking and admiring Taako’s sleepy face was nice…..for a couple minutes, and then he was bored out of his skull. Which was impressive as he WAS a skull.

It couldn’t hurt, he thought, to doze a bit. Maybe Taako was onto something, maybe the best thing to refresh was nothing at all. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths. How was he supposed to do this again? Was there a switch in his brain he could flip to just….send him off? Could he even sleep? What if he was incapable of it? What was he supposed to do with all this time and--

Taako was snoring. Very, very lightly. It was so damn cute, the little rumble in his throat vibrating against his chest.

Kravitz calmed down, breathing in sync with Taako, and letting himself just listen to those snores like he was a concert of one.

Kravitz had his violin clutched in his hands as he ran through the halls. Where was the damn orchestra hall? He was late, he was running SO late, and he couldn’t remember where he was going.

He tried to follow the signs, but he couldn’t read them. Who put signs up in infernal? He was really going to get it now. “Hey babe,” Taako said, walking down the other way with him, “Where’s the fire?”

“Not now,” Kravitz said, “I’m late for rehearsal, and I can’t find the practice hall.”

“It’s right behind you, dingus,” Taako said, “Have fun!”

Kravitz turned around. He hadn’t even seen the door before. He opened it, facing a million eyes.

The Raven Queen towered over the room, “Late again, Kravitz,” she said, “You’ll get a failing grade if this keeps up.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” he said, going for an empty seat. As soon as he sat, he realized he didn’t have his violin, “I...I think I left my instrument in the hallway,” he said, “I need to...to go and…”

“No,” the Raven Queen said, “You must conduct the orchestra.”

Kravitz nodded. He always wanted to do this, but he thought he’d have more time to prepare. He stepped up, taking the conductor’s baton. As he stood, facing the awaiting crowd, he realized he didn’t know what song they were playing. 4/4 seemed like a safe bet...but what tempo…

He raised his arms and the band took a breath. As he started the beat, a horrendous noise shuddered around him, a roar of a thousand beasts. He covered his ears. The roar faded, into pleas, a hundred, maybe a thousand people, begging for their lives, for the lives of their loved ones. Begging for peace. It echoed, turning his brain to sludge. He knew these voices, every one of them, melded together. He’d killed them.

“You took my child from me,” a woman’s voice broke through, “I had her in my arms again and you took her!”

“I would have given you anything,” a man, this time, “It was just a little necromancy, I wasn’t hurting anybody.”

“You killed us,” “You MURDERED us,” “We were innocent” “You’re a monster” “You’re not even alive either,”

“You’re not even human.”

Kravitz fell to his knees, clutching at his ears, but it did nothing to counteract the voices. He tried closing his eyes too, but he could still somehow see their gaunt faces.

His legs felt wet and he looked down. The bandroom was gone, everything was gone. He was sitting on top of an endless plane of black sludge.

And he was sinking.

“No, no!” He shouted, trying to stand up and crawl out of it. But there was no solid surface on which to stand. There was nowhere to go and get out of it.

The sludge rose like sickly hands, grabbing at him, pulling him under. He tried to fight it, but they just held on. It was inevitable.

And he was alone.

He raised his head to the surface, trying to savor air while he had it. It was hard, the sludge crushing in on his chest, and his throat.

The sludge wasn’t sludge anymore, but simple water, frozen and still clutching at him like the hands had.

He reached up, trying to grab hold of the icy surface he’d fallen through, but he couldn’t get a grip. The icy water shot through him like a thousand swords.

He saw something just before his face went under the surface. A figure standing above him. It was Taako. He tried to yell for help, but the water filled his mouth, silencing him.

Taako looked down at him and smiled. The last thought Kravitz had was that he was going to die.

“Kravitz?”

Kravitz jumped to standing. All he knew for a moment was that he was in darkness, and standing on something soft.

Another second and he realized he was in a bedroom. After another, he knew it was Taako’s. He was standing on the bed, Taako still laying below him, looking up at him shocked.

“Y’all right there, buddy?” Taako asked, tone more relaxed than he was, “‘Cause you know I love the bones but they ain’t exactly cuddle material.”

Only then did Kravitz realize he was in his skeletal form, holding his scythe. He switched back to his body and sat back down, trying to piece together his memories and get his thoughts back in order. “It was just a dream,” he said, to himself and Taako.”

“Some damn dream,” Taako said, leaning on his elbow. His hair was untied as he leaned into Kravitz. “You wanna talk about it?”

Kravitz clenched his teeth, “It didn’t make a lot of sense,” he said instead of answering.

“Because dreams usually have great literary arcs.” Taako chuckled, resting his head on Kravitz’ thigh. “What’s goin on, what freaked you out?”

Kravitz shrugged, “I mean it, it didn’t.” he said, “I just….I think I was dreaming about how I died.”

Taako blinked, his elven eyes reflective in the dark. “Well shit. As someone with some expertise in that field, dying is definitely nightmare fuel.”

Kravitz took a deep breath. He didn’t really have lungs, it was just sort of...moving air around, but it felt better to do so. “How do you handle it?”

Taako stretched, sitting up to better hug Kravitz. “Cry a lot, ain’t gonna lie. Taako ain’t got time for that toxic masculinity shit.” He won a smile from Kravitz as he reached up, covering Taako’s hand in his own, “Eventually you remember it’s just a dream and can’t really hurt you. Even if it happened, it’s in the past. It’s just a dream.”

Kravitz rocked a little in Taako’s arms. “I haven’t had any dreams in a long time,” he said, “I don’t remember them being this unpleasant.”

“Eh, mostly they’re just fucking weird,” Taako said, pulling Kravitz closer. Kravitz lay his head on Taako’s chest now, listening to his strange elven heart beat. There were three pumps to it. Weird. “I was dreaming about these like, giraffe things? But they had teacups for heads and I was trying to see if they had any tea inside.” Kravitz chuckled, “And then, the bitch looked down at me, and spilled the goddamn tea all over me! My clothes were RUINED!”

Kravitz finally managed a laugh, clutching Taako all the closer. “Why do you like sleeping, then?”

Taako rested his head on Kravitz’ locks. “I dunno. Sometimes its nice to have something that doesn’t make sense. To not have stuff to do or logic to follow. Just….exist in this weird new world.” Kravitz could feel him smirking, “Plus going back to sleep in the morning is dope.”

Kravitz smiled. “You want to go back to sleep now, don’t you?”

Taako yawned, “Kinda,” he said, “But I can stay up. I think I got enough in to cover meditation.”

His ears were twitching, and Kravitz couldn’t help it. “Go back to sleep,” he told him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Maybe I’ll get a better luck of the draw with dreams this time.”

“Are you sure?” Taako asked, but he was already falling back into his bed. “Alright, come here, then. I’m gonna snuggle those nightmares out so hard, they won’t know what hit ‘em.”

Kravitz chuckled again, letting Taako wrap him up. He fought back the fear of what his unconscious mind would bring him this time….

[kplr-radio]

Broadcast: Angelo Divine, 01/16/19

[Achy Breaky Heart Billy Ray Cyrus]

Angelo: Good morning, Kepler, this is 103.5 KPLR Radio, and that was “Achy Breaky Heart” by Billy Ray Cyrus. I hope y’all are doing well on this fine Wednesday morning. I’m here in the studio, drinking some coffee, and I’m excited for the day! Let’s get into the news, shall we? Traffic is still great, there’s still some ice on the roads but y’all seem to deal just fine with that. Weather is getting cloudy, with a chance of rain or hail this evening going on into tomorrow morning. The local hockey team, the Kepler Cosmos, is going against our bitter rivals, the Snowshoe Swans, this Friday, so be sure to get your tickets and support them. As is usual for Wednesdays at this point, I don’t have much news to report. At least, not officially. Why don’t I put on some songs to give y’all time to think, and when I get back I’ll take y’all’s calls on anything weird or creepy you saw these past few days. This is “The Gambler” by Kenny Rogers.

[The Gambler Kenny Rogers] [The Devil Went Down To Georgia Charlie Daniels Band] [Seven Year Ache Rosanne Cash]

Angelo: Alright, that was “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” by the Charlie Daniels Band, followed by “Seven Year Ache” by Rosanne Cash. Let’s see, who’s first?

Caller: Angelo, I was in the woods and I got like really high, and I saw a deer but I was so high I thought it was a pony! And then the deer didn’t expect me to be there, think I surprised it or some s*** and it freaked the hell out, backed up and then... and then it opened its freaking wings, man! I was hallucinating a LOT! Oh my gosh, it looked like that yellow one, that thing in my little pony like a Pegasus and it was CRAZY! LIKE, ACTUAL FEATHERED WINGS! Holy s***! And I screamed and went backward a couple steps and I then I started backin’ away saying like “oh my god, it’s Fluttershy don’t kill me Fluttershy!” And I think that pissed it off! It was like the deer looked so… It looked so, so pissed. like, it glared at me. it started staring me down with its little eyes and then f****** CHARGED and I ran SO FAR, right outta the forest. I had a near death experience with a deer with wings and it hates me now because I called it My Little Pony. Oh god angry deer. Pegasus. Degasus. How’s that Angelo, what’s that about?

Angelo: Oh, wow, that’s… something. I’ve never heard of a deer pegasus before. I’ll, uh, I’ll look into that and get back to you. I hope you’re okay, wherever you ended up, hopefully you’re safe now. I’d recommend not going back, wherever that was, and maybe just staying away from drugs for a bit. Uh, who’s next?

Caller: Hey, I was out with my nephew yesterday and I saw this real big bird just standing and staring from on top of the Pizza Hut sign. Couldn’t really tell what it looked like, it was way high up, but it had black feathers and big yellow eyes. Real mean-lookin’ guy. Ominous, almost, like you know how the black birds are omens? Yeah, I dunno. But considering what’s happened to that sign in the past, it seems a little scary, y’know?

Angelo: Well, that doesn’t sound good. Maybe stay away from the sign for a while, if you can. Hopefully the bird will go away and not knock it down. I gotta brush up on my “omens and auguries” notes, maybe those’ll have an explanation. Or maybe it was just a month late? Anyways, thanks for calling! It looks like that’s all the calls we got for now. I’ll play this PSA from our local Forest Service rangers, and then we’ll get back to the music.

[PSA Transcript: Hey y’all, this is Ranger Divine, reminding you of some winter safety tips. Number one: If you intend to go off of the main roads for any reason, you need to have snow chains on your tires. I can’t tell you how many calls I get saying someone tried to go down an uncleared dirt road and ended up getting stuck. I won’t put you on blast, but one of you has done it three times, and we can’t keep doing this. Number two: please don’t try to go out on any frozen bodies of water. We test them every day, and they’re not safe for recreational activities. We can’t have any of y’all drowning or getting hypothermia because you thought it would be fun to skate on an unregulated pond. That’s what the skating rink is for, folks. Number three: Plan ahead. If you know you’re gonna be out in the cold, bundle up as much as you can, and bring water. It may seem like this damp winter is all you need, but it makes it even easier to get dehydrated. Alright, that’s it, have fun y’all, be safe!]

[Fancy Reba McEntire] [Friends In Low Places Garth Brooks] [Wide Open Spaces Dixie Chicks]

Angelo: That was “Fancy” by Reba McEntire, “Friends In Low Places” by Garth Brooks, and “Wide Open Spaces” by Dixie Chicks. And an important reminder from Ranger Divine, AKA my sister. Don’t worry sis, I won’t embarrass you on air. Speaking of embarrassing though, it’s time for Angelo’s Advice Hour! Call in with your questions and I will answer them with the objectively correct advice.

[Disclaimer: Angelo Divine is not qualified to answer most questions definitively. All answers are purely conjecture and Angelo Divine is not liable for any negative results that may come from following his advice.]

Angelo: Alright, here’s our first struggling citizen, what can I help you with today?

Caller: Angelo, it’s me Bonnie again. How do you make friends with people? You’re like, really good at it. Also you’re doing amazing buddy, you’re so great at this show!

Angelo: Well, thank you, Bonnie. Honestly, I think I have an advantage, having grown up here in Kepler. You end up getting to know everybody in a small town like this. But really, it’s about finding something in common. And also it’s important to accept that some friendships just won’t be that deep. Sometimes a friend is just someone who’s always at the store at the same time as you, and you make small talk about your week. It’s about going in with no expectations and learning in real-time what to expect from someone. I hope that helps! Let’s see who’s next.

Caller: Angelo, do you have any recommendations for hot drinks or comfort foods for when you really need to relax? Had a really tiring past couple days. Thanks.

Angelo: I’m sorry to hear things haven’t been going well for you. My go-to is usually some kind of fancy coffee, but I’ll also drink a hot chocolate. And as far as food goes, I usually get some kind of pastry or something, or— okay, this is random, but those little sourdough pretzels you get in the barrel thing? I love those. And you can eat them with dips, too, like I’ll eat ‘em with my favorite spinach dip. That got a little off-track, but hopefully at least one of those recommendations was helpful. Let’s take a quick break, and then I’ll answer some more quandries. This is “High Note” by Mavis Staples.

[High Note Mavis Staples] [Jolene Dolly Parton] [Take Me Home, Country Roads John Denver]

Angelo: That was “Jolene” by Dolly Parton followed by “Take Me Home, Country Roads” by John Denver. Hello advice-needing listener, you are on the air!

Caller: Angelooooo, how do you deal with crushes?

Angelo: The age-old question. I’m assuming “deal with” means murder, right? You can’t have any vulnerabilities out there. Let’s see, I’d say seduce them to your home for a romantic dinner, and then poison the wine. No, I’m kidding. I mean, I’d say the best advice is “talk to them” but I know it’s not that easy. Depending on their schedule and yours, try to spend time with them, and be prepared to take no for an answer. A lot of the time, unless you’re making your romantic intentions very clear, people just might not want to hang out or they’re otherwise busy. Even if your intentions are clear, they might either not like you or just aren’t ready for a relationship. I’m gonna say, unless you’re being creepy, nine times out of ten it’s not personal when you get rejected. Alright, who’s up next?

Caller: Hey Angelo it's Cat. I know you said to stop doing this but I freaked out again— he stared at me for a solid three minutes unblinking what was I supposed to do?—  And am hiding in an undisclosed location. Again. So my question is: how do you deal with a scary co-worker?

Angelo: Cat, come on, he’s not even that scary. He’s honestly probably just messing with you. The trick is to scare him back. You gotta start leaving creepy messages on his desk, maybe draw a skull on a to-go cup full of coffee, that kind of thing. I mean, I just ruined those two things ‘cause now he’ll know I said that, but you know what I mean. That’s how you earn his respect. Anyways, looks like that’s all we got time for, I’ll play you all some music before I sign off for today. This is “Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X, and yes, this song is a country song.

[Old Town Road Lil Nas X] [If I Could Only Win Your Love Emmylou Harris] [Live a Little Kenny Chesney]

Angelo: Alright, that’s it for me today, I’ll see you all tomorrow. Real quick before my producer cuts me off I’m gonna plug my podcast “Scary Stories LLC,” it’s a horror comedy podcast where I have a different guest on each episode and we try and pitch a horror movie based on titles that were suggested by listeners. Okay I gotta go, have a good day, this is 103.5 KPLR Radio.

[damienthepious]

yeah

Scattered On My Shore (Chapter 10)

[Ch 1] [Ch 2] [Ch 3] [Ch 4] [Ch 5] [Ch 6] [Ch 7] [Ch 8] [Ch 9] [ao3] [Ch 11] [Ch 12] [Ch 13] [Ch 14] [Ch 15] [Ch 16] [Ch 17] [Ch 18] [Ch 19]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla, Sir Damien/Rilla

Characters: Rilla, Lord Arum, Sir Damien

Additional Tags: Second Citadel, Lizard Kissin’ Tuesday, Pre-Relationship, (for the three of them. it’s established r/d), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Injury, Injury Recovery, Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, (this will also be), Enemies to Lovers, (for damien and arum eventually lol)

Fic Summary: Strange things wash up out of the lake near Rilla’s hut, on occasion. But this monster… this monster is certainly the strangest.

Chapter Summary: Sir Damien is home again. He and Rilla's newer guest must learn to share the space, for however brief a time this arrangement will last.

Chapter Notes: Love you!! Happy LKT! Don't actually think there's anything new to warn for?? Fun fact! the next chapter is also basically entirely done. Just one or two brief scenes to add. Also. pay no attention to the fact that the theoretical total number of chapters keeps mysteriously increasing. I'm sure that's nothing. >.>;;;

~

When Damien wakes, Rilla is already gone from the bed. He can hear cutlery clinking on dishware through the wall, can smell breakfast, alluring and warm, and he slowly stretches his sore muscles against the softness of these familiar sheets, and he-

He realizes, with a pang of strange guilt, that he had forgotten, for a moment, all he needs be afraid of. The worry creeps back slow, like a draft slipping through the cracks in old stone, cool on his spine, but there is something distant about the feeling. Rilla is… Rilla is still safe.

He feels lighter, as well, with the story of Ballast and its curse no longer pressing dark and confusing on him alone. It will not plague his love as it does Damien.

(The cadence of the story slips from him, just briefly. He does not mean for it to happen, but it cracks through, the tragedy, the cruelty-

"His voice, Rilla, they took from him his very voice," he keens, and she holds him tighter, holds him closer. "He called out and called out, sent words on quick wing from so close by and still they would not hear- they put his voice in a box and they hid it in the dark, they buried it, they left it for the moths, Rilla! All he had left were words and they refused, they refused- not even the howling of the hound they heeded, Rilla, and were my hand not stayed, were I not stopped, I would have- I would have been the punctuation on his silencing- I would have-"

She holds him tighter. She holds him closer. She listens. His heart, oh, his twisting, uncertain heart-)

He rolls from the bed, still stiff, and runs through a quick light routine of stretches before he works up the nerve to see what awaits him outside the safety of Rilla's bedroom. He expects another argument, and- and his own mind is so unsettled that he is unsure he can hold his position steady. His beloved is too brilliant to contend with at less than his best.

When he gently pushes the door open, the monster is arranged on the cushions by Rilla's table, claws drumming on the wood as he raises an eyebrow, and Rilla is laughing. The bright familiarity of it jumps in Damien's stomach, but his eyes dart to the monster-

Lord Arum is leaning against the table, his body angled towards Rilla, something like a smile curving his mouth. There is some new cloth clasped around his shoulders, soft and shimmering and precisely as violet as his eyes. His eyes, which are fixed upon Rilla, and the look Damien can see in them is- is nearly the same as the look the monster wore while Damien had been reciting his poem to the creature. Attentive, rapt, patient- but less wary, even, than in that moment.

"Like you're one to talk," Rilla says, teasing, and the monster-

Snorts a laugh of his own, and the almost-smile blooms into a wide grin, and Damien takes a compulsive step forward.

Lord Arum turns his face towards him almost too quick for Damien to see the shift, his grin vanishing, his face going almost blank. Almost. The blankness does not quite manage to hide the flash of concern on the monster's face.

He-

His eyes, violet and wary and piercing. A monster's eyes, and yet-

"Morning, Damien," Rilla says mildly, and Damien snaps back to himself.

"Rilla," he says, and his voice is a little rough at the edges, from sleep and exhaustion both, from the long tale told the night before. "I- I hope you-" he stammers, and he tries, he tries not to feel the monster watching them as Rilla steps close enough to touch his shoulder. He is unsure of his success. "I hope you slept well, despite my- despite-"

"I slept fine, Damien. Better than I've been doing, honestly. Sorry I didn't wake you earlier, but I thought you could use the rest."

"Y-yes. Yes, I believe you are correct. I- I am… I need not leave, today, so there is no hurry in my morning."

Arum is watching him, still. It prickles across Damien's skin.

He has not spoken, though.

Damien takes a breath, takes Rilla's hand, and turns his body towards the creature.

"Good morning to you, as well, Lord Arum," he says, his tone quiet and blank, and the monster blinks, his face going suspicious as Rilla's hand squeezes his own. "You-" Damien stops, wets his lips, observes the creature warily glaring up at him. "You look quite well."

"Do I?" Arum mutters, ducking his head. "How well may a monster look, little songbird?"

Damien pauses. "Certainly better than when last we met. It seems you are… recovering smoothly under the care of such a talented physician."

Arum's snout wrinkles, and he turns his face away, just slightly. "Hm. Yes, well." He mutters something too low to hear, and then he does not say anything else.

Rilla squeezes his hand again, and when he glances towards her she smiles, soft and warm. "Hey. Hungry?"

She puts together a plate for him, and Damien is ravenous, he has not eaten anything but rations for the road since last he was beneath Rilla's roof, but-

When she steps over to her table and settles to sit across from the monster, Damien can't- he cannot help but balk.

He cannot make himself sit beside a monster, not as Rilla can. With such ease, such lack of care.

"I think-" his words stumble, and Rilla must see the look in his eye, because her brow furrows, her lips turning downward in concern. "Perhaps I will- perhaps I will take- take my meal outside."

He has written countless poems on the mossy stump in front of Rilla's hut. The place feels safer, just in this moment, than the table beside the beast.

Rilla continues to stare at him, and he can see that her concern is struggling at the edge of frustration as she asks, "Outside, Damien? You… you don't want to-"

Lord Arum still is not looking at him, but Damien can see the twist of his mouth, the strange twinge of morbid satisfaction, as if this was precisely what Arum expected him to do.

"I- I believe I require a moment of fresh air," Sir Damien lies in a shaking voice, and then he retreats.

~

Damien does not remember, until the meal is halfway done, to be afraid that the monster might attack Rilla in his absence, and when the fear does come, he cannot seem to make it stay.

Something in the way Lord Arum looked at Rilla as she laughed, something in his eyes-

The worry feels false, now.

(he’s not gonna hurt me, Rilla says with a surety as sturdy as stone, and Damien thinks that she may have been correct, even then)

But Sir Damien still does not know if the monster has made Rilla an exception. Others may not be so lucky, when all is said and done.

~

While Lord Arum is resting in the exam room again in the afternoon, Rilla reaches across the table to take Damien's hand, startling him from his thoughts, soothing his surprise back with her thumb gentle on his wrist.

"Hey," she says softly. "If you're feeling up to it… I think we have a conversation we need to finish, Damien."

Damien feels his stomach fall, the sensation of missing a step. "R-right," he rasps. "Of course."

He should not feel this- this-

Damien should not-

"I want to apologize, first," Rilla says, and Damien startles, slightly, his hand fluttering in her grip as he looks up at her wry smile.

"Wh- you do?"

"I know this is… not easy. And I know that it's only gonna get harder, really."

Damien's heart and shoulders sink. "Ah."

"And the thing is," she leans back slightly, sighing. "You were right." She pauses, then quickly continues, "In one way, I mean. You were right that I was… I wasn't being- I wasn't planning ahead, because it was too hard to think about the consequences of this whole thing. And it came back to bite me in the ass, because of course it did."

Damien's eyes go a little wide. "It- what do you mean?"

"Arum saw it too. That I was…" she laughs. "That I didn't know what I was doing, not really. Not beyond like, the actual medical part."

The automatic instinct is to refute, to tell Rilla that she's brilliant, that of course she knows what she's doing-

She rubs at her wrists, not quite looking at him. "And, uh, there's another thing- but I really need you to listen right now and let me finish before you respond, okay?"

Damien opens his mouth, closes it, and then nods.

"So, while you were gone," she says, voice strained, "because- because Arum knew that I didn't have a plan, and because he thought- he thought that when you came back you would kill him, he- he tried to leave, and- well, I mean, technically speaking, he kinda grabbed me and tried to- to make it so I couldn't follow him-"

"What? He did- the beast attacked you?!" Damien's hands fly to his bow, his muscles clenching.

"Damien-" she reaches out again, gripping his shoulders. "Look at me. Damien, I'm fine. Please don't freak out. He didn't hurt me, I'm fine, nothing happened. Everyone is safe, I promise. Just- just breathe, okay?"

It's like trying to see through a pinhole, the panic. He can hear her words, but his ears are still rushing, his throat too tight for breath. Every ounce of him is screaming danger, is howling protect-

"Damien. I'm okay. We're okay, I promise. I- I'm telling you this even though I know it'll freak you out because- because it won't help anything to lie about it, but- but you need to actually listen to me, okay? I'm not hurt-"

"Your wrists," he manages in a strangled voice, reaching to hover his fingers just barely away from her skin. "I- I- I did not- the bruises- I should never have left you alone with that thing, I should have-"

"Damien, I did that to myself." She squeezes his shoulders, the pressure grounding, soothing. "C'mon, Damien, you have to breathe. I can't explain if you aren't listening."

He sucks in a breath and holds it, trembling, and Rilla rhythmically rubs her hands up and down his biceps. She- her wrists, but- but she- she is here, and she is- she is not hurt, not truly. Is she? He rakes her eyes over her, lingering on the light red speckling at her wrists, catching her worried eyes only briefly, but otherwise she- she seems precisely as he left her. She appears- otherwise unharmed. Damien exhales, and his breathing is still fast, now, but he is forcing it under his control again, by degrees.

"I am… I am sorry, my flower," he murmurs. "C-continue. I will- I will listen."

Rilla smiles, just barely, worry still visible on her brow, and then she sighs. "He- he was only trying to go home, Damien. He was- he was scared, and he was desperate." She pauses. "Don't- don't tell him I said that, he'd be upset that I know he's scared."

Damien-

Knows exactly what she means, somehow. The creature seems to have a rather distinct sense of pride. He nods again.

"He just wants to go home," she says again, and there is a note of strange sorrow in her voice. "And I… Damien, I know it's crazy, but- but I have to help him."

Damien blinks. "You- what did you say?"

She sighs and bites her lip. "You were right. I can't keep him here, not any longer than I have to. It's- it's dangerous. For him, mostly, but- he can't stay, and he'll never make it home on his own, and I- I can't just push him out the door with a wave and a good luck, that's not- I can't-"

She presses her lips together hard, looking away. "Rilla-"

She rubs a hand over her mouth, and then she meets his eye again, determination in her gaze. "I've already decided, Damien. I told him I would get him home, and that's what I'm going to do. If- if that's too much for you to handle, I- I can understand that, but I'm not going to let you hurt him, and I'm not going to let you stop me, either."

"Stop you?" he echoes faintly.

"I just kinda assumed," she says, smiling very weakly. "You've been pretty- pretty adamant about your position, Damien."

"I-"

Damien pauses.

He would have killed the creature in the depths of unconsciousness. Damien would have drawn and fired and stopped his heart cold. Would have never allowed the beast to wake again-

As he nearly did to the witch of Ballast.

Damien's heart pulls, as if it wishes to tear in half. His duty, his holy charge, his feet drawn forward into this endless battle-

And his love, and his rival, each by turns staying his hand.

Damien hesitates, and then he reaches, drawing his thumb careful along the soft redness circling Rilla's wrist.

"Precisely how did this happen, then?" he asks, voice low.

Rilla flinches. "He- he didn't hurt me, Damien. He could have, but he didn't. This- he just kinda- tied me to the stool?" she says, her voice going high and worried as she watches his face. "And I pulled my wrists breaking the bandages to get out. I could have done it more carefully and I wouldn't have been hurt at all but I was- I was worried that he would hurt himself trying to get home and I- I was too impatient to- to worry about myself. It's barely a burn, Damien, I swear-"

"I trust your medical expertise," Damien murmurs, and his brow softens as he lifts her hands to kiss the heel of one palm, and then the other. "I… my love, I- I may not- I still do not understand," he manages. "I do not understand what makes this creature different, what makes you- what makes you protect him. But-"

Rilla's hands flex in his own, but she does not pull away. "But?"

He inhales, exhales. "He is… he is your patient. You have claimed him as such, and so he must be. I must trust that you know best, how he should be cared for," he says in a near whisper. He swallows, then, feeling the terror of betrayal at the back of his throat. "If he threatens you- if the situation shifts- if you are in any danger, I will protect you. But I-" his heart stutters, he gasps a compulsive breath. "I will- I will not- I will not interfere, so long as you are certain that you are safe."

Rilla's expression falls open in shock, and then it goes pleased and warm. "Oh. Damien-"

"I only ask that you- you will allow me to- to keep an eye on the situation. To ease my worry, if nothing else. In case the worst should occur."

"Damien…" She stares at him. "Really? You're not- you really mean that? You're not going to-"

"I would not lie to you," he says gently.

"No," she says, "I know, but it's just- unexpected, I guess?"

"To be certain," he agrees in a murmur.

Rilla gives a breath of laughter, then squeezes his hands. "I- maybe I'm gonna regret asking this, but- what changed?"

Sir Damien does not know.

He pushes back his guilt. He pushes down his fear. He squeezes Rilla's hands, feeling her pulse, feeling that she is safe, alive, safe. If this be a trick, still- if the creature is merely acting as he knows he must to survive this, then-

Damien will still slay him, if necessary. But, for the moment-

The faster the creature is well again, the faster he will be gone from their lives, and the sooner Sir Damien can resume his life as it once was. The sooner he may again live with his beloved safe by his side, secure and familiar and right once more.

~

Damien comes and goes, as his duty calls him, but apparently the Queen isn't in dire need at the moment, because most nights he returns to the hut. Rilla can't decide if he's being more overprotective than he means to let on, or if he's just still trying to process what happened in Ballast, along with this whole Arum thing, but it really doesn't matter why. It's more important to her that he's here, even if he's quieter about it, more contemplative. It's more important that he still comes to bed with her and holds her tight when he needs the comfort. And- when she does, honestly.

He still acts stiff and strange with Arum, his words uncharacteristically awkward, but he isn't on the attack anymore, not like he had been, and he hasn't snuck off to play guard dog overnight since he came back. He makes Arum nervous, which is fair enough. He keeps his bow close by fairly often, and Rilla weighs Arum's discomfort versus Damien's and she can't make herself tell Damien to put the damn thing away. She has to trust that Damien won't use it, and she knows that it makes him feel safe. She just has to hope that Arum trusts her enough to know that she wouldn't allow it if she thought it was a risk.

Arum is different with Damien than he is with her, too. More antagonistic, but- in a sideways sort of way. He doesn't directly insult the knight, not usually, and instead he seems to get a kick out of irritating him in little, inconsequential ways. Seems to know exactly what buttons to push with Damien, too, to get him to grit his teeth and snap in return, and the monster tends to grin and chuckle like he's won every time he can make Damien irritable enough that Rilla feels like she needs to intercede.

But- the thing that Rilla is having trouble wrapping her head around is the parts that don't quite seem like simple antagonism. If that was all it was, she could get that. That would make sense, even if it was annoying. There's something else, though. Something that doesn't quite fit into the box of antagonism.

"Hm. I suppose it is for the best that you have returned, little songbird," Arum murmurs, and Rilla hears Damien scoff through the door as she changes out of a sap-stained post-experiment outfit. The walls of her hut don't do much for noise cancellation, she thinks wryly.

"Is that so, beast?" Damien's answer is calm, if vaguely strained. "Why should you wish for my return?"

"I do not prefer to leave matters unsettled," Arum growls, low. "I believe there is unfinished business still between us… and I would think the stubborn little songbird would be eager to finish attempting to prove his point."

There is a pause, and then-

"The- the duel, of course," Damien says, awkwardly. Rilla tenses, because some arranged duel is news to her, and not exactly good news, either. "Of course. Er- however, I do not believe you are yet in a state to fulfill your challenge, friend lizard."

"I- what?" Another pause. "Oh. Y-yes. Of course. The- the duel, takatakataka."

Even through the door, Rilla can hear the familiar uncomfortable rattle Arum gives. She can practically see his tail thrashing, his frill flaring, she knows that noise so well.

"… Lord Arum?"

Arum hisses low, not remotely an answer.

"What…" Damien pauses, for a long sort of moment. "What, precisely, did you mean, if not the duel?"

"Not a thing, honeysuckle," the monster mutters. "Of course I meant the duel. Don't be foolish."

Rilla shuffles on a new skirt, trying not to feel like an intruder in her own damn hut. It- it isn't her fault they're having this conversation so loud. If they didn't want her to hear-

"Oh. Oh," Damien says after another long moment, and then he coughs, lightly. "Ah. I suppose… I suppose that… that I never finished my poem, that evening, did I?"

"I do not remember," Arum mutters. "It does not matter. I had forgotten the whole thing by the next morning."

Another ticking, growling rattle. Another low snarl. Rilla hesitates at her bedroom door, which- she's not spying. She's not, she just- doesn't want to interrupt them.

"Well… I suppose…" Damien trails off. "I suppose," Damien tries again, his quiet voice very carefully pitched to casual, "that the next time you wish to be bored to sleep, I will know which tale to begin with," Damien says, very quietly.

Arum chokes a laugh. "I- I believe- I-" Another pause. Saints, but Rilla could record entire research logs in the time these boys take to finish a sentence. "It was you who lulled yourself to slumber with your words, songbird," Arum says, his own voice gone low, and hesitant, and stilted. "Not I. If you should like to bore me, you would do better to return to your little threats, not your… your poetry. If you wish to finish your tale, it is not as if I could stop you."

Damien does not respond to that, and after a moment Rilla pushes the door open again. There's a half second during which she sees the pair of them staring at each other, Arum with his head ducked and his tail coiling, Damien with his cheeks gone dark, and then the both of them look her way instead.

Rilla-

Doesn't comment. Why would she? Awkward silences are better than fighting, anyway, even if the way Arum looks away from her makes her stomach twist oddly. Even if Damien doesn't stop pinching his face into a guilty frown on and off for the next few minutes.

Rilla can wrestle away a bit of awkward, though. Especially coming from Damien. She's gentle, and tactical, and with a few pointed questions she manages to start him off on that story about the Sphinxes again. She doesn't mind the repetition, today. It's a good story, and-

Well. Arum certainly hasn't heard it before.

~

"Amaryllis," the monster calls lightly, looking up from the book in his hands, and then he goes still.

Damien follows his gaze automatically, and he feels a familiar little pulse of fondness when he sees his Rilla, draped partway over the table, her head sunk to rest on her arms, her shoulders lifting and lowering lightly as she sleeps, her stack of books utterly forgotten and her recorder still clutched in hand.

Arum blinks, watching her for a moment with his head tilted just slightly to the side, and then he catches Damien watching him in return and he narrows his eyes, turning away. "Foolish creature. I am certain she has a bed in this little hut somewhere. Certainly she should find it before she decides to collapse," he mutters, his voice carefully low, and-

Damien feels a strange little pulse again, a soft sort of echo, at the way Lord Arum's eyes return to Rilla as he speaks, just briefly, as if the monster is checking to ensure his quiet words have not woken her.

Damien bites his lips, swallows uncomfortably. "I… I do not think you should speak so, Lord Arum," he says, tone light. "You have your own habit of inopportune sleep, if our previous evenings together are any indication."

The monster blinks, then snorts. "I see that I shall never live my sedation down with you, shall I, honeysuckle?"

"I am quite used to it, in truth," Damien murmurs. "She… this is not an unusual occurrence. Sleep finds her where it may, as she so often spends her nights busily avoiding it." He smiles, helpless, and reaches a hand to press the button to stop her recorder, and then he brushes some loose curls away from her brow. "Any rest she allows to catch hold is quite well deserved."

Damien realizes, after a moment, that the monster is staring at him. As soon as he realizes this, Arum looks away again, burying his snout back in his own book.

Damien realizes, after a moment, that he has taken his own turn, to stare.

"What do you intend," Damien blurts, "When you are home again?"

Arum blinks, looking up at the knight with no small degree of alarm, and then he narrows his eyes. "When?"

That- is not the part of the question that Damien had thought the creature would take umbrage with. "Ah-"

"I do not believe for a moment that you have decided to allow the doctor to return me where I belong," he mutters. "You must think me completely naive, or entirely brainless."

It is unbelievable, Damien thinks, and yet. Damien has decided precisely that, somehow. It is unsurprising that the monster disbelieves. He purses his lips for a moment, considers how to proceed.

"I may change my mind on the matter," he says mildly, "depending on how this conversation progresses."

Arum narrows his eyes further, a ticking rattle growing in his chest. "And you do not think that in telling me such, you might color my responses, little knight? You are not a particularly skilled interrogator, are you?"

"This… this is not an interrogation," Damien admits, after a moment. "Rilla believes you only wish to return home. However… she has not elaborated upon what happens after that comes to pass. What will you do, when you are returned to where you belong?"

Arum scoffs. "Ridiculous. If I ever see my home again, I will put to rights whatever has gone unruly in my absence, and then I will never again be bothered by your kind or my own, if I have my way. I will be alone, as I should be, so I may nurse my own wounds." He pauses. "And my ego, while I am at it."

Damien furrows his brow, watching the way Arum's shoulders hunch, the way his expression goes angry to hide the flash of sorrow Damien thinks he sees, for only a brief moment. "And what of humankind?"

"What of it?" Arum snarls, and then he glances to Rilla and swallows, though she does not stir at his voice. "What of it?" He repeats more quietly. "I do not care what the lot of you foul creatures do, so long as you do not intrude upon my territory. Perhaps I will close the borders entirely. Perhaps that will be safest, in fact." He wrinkles his snout, glaring down at his clenched fists. "Yes. Safest for both of us," he mutters, more to himself than to Damien. "If I ever make it home… yes, whatever it takes, for our safety. I must protect myself, must protect my K-"

He chokes, words cutting off ragged at the end into his low growl, his eyes darting to Damien and then away as his frill flares like a flag in a high wind.

Damien feels himself staring, again. He cannot help it.

That keening note in Arum's voice, that hot protective current beneath the words-

It rings in Damien's mind like the echo of bells, as familiar as home. Damien knows the feeling this creature is trying, so clumsily, to hide.

Rilla shifts against the table and Arum startles, his claws clenching the near-forgotten book in his hand before he lifts it again, narrowing his eyes over the pages at Sir Damien.

"I hope my answers have been enlightening enough for you, honeysuckle," he mutters quickly, and then he hides himself again in the pages.

Rilla yawns, and stretches, and falls partly against Damien's shoulder as she mutters herself awake, and she is warm and utterly safe by his side. Mere feet from a monster, and Damien cannot even force himself to worry for her safety. No, he is not worried, not for his beloved, not at Arum's hands, but-

Arum's answers were more than enlightening, Damien thinks. That is… that is entirely the problem. They were enlightening, because Sir Damien cannot help but feel that every one of them was true.

Lord Arum aches for home, and Sir Damien's twisting, stuttering, traitorous heart aches in foolish sympathy.

[->]

[leigh-kelly]

A continuation of NYU!AU

After their trip to Jamaica, getting back into school mode is hard. Santana feels like she missed a lot of time that she could be writing papers and she spends a lot of time holed up in the library. When she comes back to their dorm at night, she’s exhausted and more often than not collapses right into bed while Brittany is still working on math stuff at her computer. The days ticking down to summer vacation make her feel dizzy and anxious but she knows that she can’t just abandon her school work to spend every possible second with Brittany.

When they finally think they’re going to have a Saturday off together, Brittany ends up having to go to some math conference at Brooklyn College and Santana is mopey when she leaves. She knows that she could use the time to get ahead on her work, but instead, she texts Marley to see if she wants to meet downtown. When Marley agrees to do brunch with her, she takes a shower and gets ready, figuring she’ll be back by mid-afternoon when Brittany should be done.

“Santana!” Marley calls out from a table in the restaurant and Santana goes over to her quickly and shimmies into the booth. “Who would have thought we’d be in the same city and have so little time to see each other?”

“It’s been nuts! I live with Brittany and I hardly ever see her.”

“Where is she? I thought you might bring her.”

“She’s at a math conference in Brooklyn. We’ll hopefully get to have dinner together for the first time since we were in Jamaica.”

“You don’t even know how jealous I am of your trip. My mom couldn’t afford to fly me home for break, so I pretty much sat in my dorm and did homework.”

“As amazing as my trip was, I could have really used the extra homework time.” Santana shakes her head. “Jeeze, I’ve hardly even been on Tumblr.”

“I noticed. Everyone sends me asks when they don’t hear from you.”

“Let’s make a post now.” Santana turns on her selfie camera and leans over the table, snapping the shot and posting the photo with the caption Don’t worry guys, Marley found me.

They have a really nice brunch and Santana tells Marley all about her drunken escapade in Jamaica while Marley tells Santana about the girl she kinda sorta met. When they’re finished, Marley tells Santana she has a paper to write and that she can’t stick around and Santana goes back to her dorm. She lays on the bed reading Henry James’ Washington Square while she waits for Brittany to get home. When she hears the key in the door she tries to finish the chapter she’s working on as quickly as possible.

“Babes.” Brittany smiles, looking really sexy in the blazer she wore for her conference. “I thought you might still be out.”

“Marley’s swamped with work too, I’m glad I at least didn’t have to spend the morning feeling bad for myself that you weren’t here. How was the conference?”

“Very mathy.” She laughs and crawls on the bed and over Santana to kiss her. “But good. Do you have to read all day?”

“Nope, this is actually for two weeks from now, so I have some time. Does this mean we actually get to hang out?”

“Miracle of miracles.” Brittany shrugs off her blazer and pulls her bra out of her sleeve. “Actually, I need to take off these pants too.”

“So I assume we’re staying in?” Santana chuckles.

“Totally. It’s like, torrentially raining out there now and I really don’t feel like wearing a bra anymore, so I say we order Chinese, watch a movie and make out.”

“Have I told you that you’re the best roommate ever?”

“Um, obviously.” Brittany stands up, unbuttons her blouse and looks entirely too sexy topless for Santana to even handle. “You have to change into your pajamas too.”

“One of us has to go downstairs to get the food.”

“I don’t care, I’ll go braless. It’s just the lobby.”

Brittany changes into boxers and an NYU sweatshirt and finally convinced Santana to get her pajamas on despite the fact that it’s only four o’clock in the afternoon. They get into bed together and Santana rests her head on Brittany’s chest, listening to her heart. She feels so at peace like that, just cuddled up in her girlfriend’s arms and she sighs contentedly, leaning up to kiss the bottom of Brittany’s chin. She barely notices the movie on in the background, she’s just so wrapped up in Brittany.

“Are you getting hungry?” Santana asks after the movie is over.

“I should eat.” Brittany nods, looking off in the distance.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, sorry, I just think that I might have forgotten to eat yesterday.”

“Britt.”

“It’s not a big deal.” She shakes her head. “I just got so wrapped up in math stuff and didn’t have any snacks on me and...I honestly shouldn’t be making excuses.”

“I know the stress of school is getting to you and I have a lot going on, but we should get up five minutes earlier in the morning and pack snacks. We have a ton in the closet...”

“I don’t want you to worry about me.”

“I know and I’m not going to make a big deal out of this because I can tell that it’s not a thing you need a big deal made out of, but I want you to know that you can talk to me if it becomes a thing.”

“I never want to go through hospitalization for anorexia again, I promise. I’ve been really good.” Brittany holds her breath and Santana watches her.

“Trust me, Britt, I know. And I know that you wouldn’t bring this up if you were trying to hide something from me.”

“I wouldn’t. You’ve been so good about it and I want to be honest with you.”

“I want you to always know that you can be honest with me.” Santana kisses her gently. “I’m not going to judge you if you’re going through something, but I’ll always make sure you get the help you need.”

“I know and I love you for that. But right now I just need some dinner.”

Santana pulls up the DoorDash menu and they add their items to the cart quickly. Brittany insists on paying because she said she’d really wanted to take Santana out for a nice dinner but weather and her unwillingness to put on pants prevented that. Letting Brittany stay pantsless even though she’d said she’d go downstairs, Santana pulls a sweatshirt over her shirt and goes to get the food. Though Santana is usually a little bit opposed to it, they spread the food out on the bed and Santana smiles a little watching Brittany take a big bite of her egg roll.

“Can we go to the Met tomorrow, or is your life too overwhelming?” Brittany asks mid-bite.

“I should honestly work on this paper, but I think it can wait. We haven’t had a museum date in awhile and I feel like looking at the period rooms will just give me inspiration.”

“You’re obsessed with the period rooms.” Brittany laughs.

“Well they’re obviously the best part. If I wasn’t gay...or brown...or a woman, I’d want to live in one of those colonial rooms.”

“I personally like running water and not wearing corsets. Also you hate wearing dresses.”

“Like I said, if I wasn’t a woman. I bet I could totally rock those tights and britches.”

“I’m not going to argue with that.” Brittany shook her head. “But then again, I think you could rock anything.”

“I also would love to sleep in tomorrow. I feel like I’ve been getting up at the crack of dawn to sneak off to the library and today I was up early because you were up. I just want to stay cuddled up with you until we absolutely have to get out of bed.”

“I could totally be down with that.” Brittany agrees and then the lights flicker in their room before they go out completely.

“Oh my God, did we just lose power?” Santana’s eyes widen and she looks around, realizing that she can’t see anything.

“I’ll find the candles with the flashlight on my phone, just stay put.”

“How romantic.” Santana laughs as the glow of Brittany’s phone alights the room and before she knows it, there are candles lit all over. “Actually, this is really romantic.”

“Candle light dinner, the sounds of college students screaming in the hallway.”

“Are we the only ones not freaking out?”

“It sure sounds like it. I think it’s kind of cozy. Much better than this happening in the summer like it always used to when I was a kid. Not having air conditioning was always torture.” Brittany laments. “Very much like your Colonial fantasy.”

“Shut up. Let’s just finish eating so we can take full advantage of cuddling by candlelight.”

After they finish up their dinner, Santana gets rid of the trash and washes her hands before she crawls under the covers with Brittany. The sound of the rain and the flicker of the candles makes curling up in Brittany’s arms an even safer place than it usually is and Santana slips off her glasses, letting the glow of the candles blur before her eyes.

“I can’t believe we lost power.” Santana murmurs.

“I listened to this podcast about how all of the New York City powerlines are underground, I don’t even know how this happened.”

“Flooding, maybe. It’s really coming down out there.”

“I’m very happy that we’re not outside and I get to hold you close.” Brittany affirms. “This is my happy place.”

“You don’t think we should go down and check with security, do you?” Santana starts to worry, reaching for her glasses again before Brittany stills her hand.

“There are probably a zillion people down there fighting for space at the desk. I think we’re good right here.”

“Okay...” Santana hesitates a little. “You know I get nervous about things.”

“I do.” Brittany nods. “But I’ll obviously keep you safe.”

“I know you will. And it is nice and warm in your arms.”

“Yeah, see. If you go downstairs it’s going to be freezing and wet and smelly.”

“You smell nice.” Santana inhales Brittany and she grins in the low light.

“Thank you for talking to me before, Santana. It’s just nice to know that someone takes me seriously.”

“I think a lot of people take you seriously.”

“Maybe now, about math stuff, but I just...remember in high school how people thought I had an eating disorder for attention. Even after I got out of the hospital, there were all of these terrible whispers about me. It wasn’t something I could ever trust anyone enough to talk about.”

“Isn’t it important for you to be able to talk about it?”

“That’s what the doctors told me, but I felt weird talking to my mom and I never had anyone else to really go to. Even Kitty, who I guess was my closest friend...I just never felt safe telling her anything serious.”

“I don’t think that’s fair. You deserve people in your life who you can trust.” Santana furrows her brow.

“I’m like...the party girl I guess, people stick by me because I’m a good time. When anything real is going on with me, they aren’t real friends.”

“I always thought it was easy to be popular. When I was sitting by myself at lunch, I’d stare longingly at everyone surrounded by people and wish I had friends like that.”

“So much of it is fake. You’re the first person I’ve ever known who sees the real me.”

“That makes me sad.” Santana sighs. “You deserve better.”

“I found better. You’re not just my girlfriend, Santana. You’re my best friend in the world.”

“You’re my best friend too, Britt. I know I have Marley, but it’s different with you. You know me inside and out.”

Brittany doesn’t say anything else. She just kisses Santana and before either of them know it, their clothes are off and they lay completely bared to each other on the comforter of their bed. Santana crawls on top of Brittany and she admires her body in the soft glow of the candlelight. She watches the way Brittany’s throat moves when she kisses the top of her breasts, she watches the way her fingers open and close before she weaves them through Santana’s hair. She watches the way her chest rises and falls as she takes a pale nipple between her lips. She watches the way her lips part as she kisses lower and lower. She watches the way Brittany glistens between her thighs as she spreads her legs apart.

“You’re beautiful.” Santana whispers. “Every bit of you.”

“You remind me of that.” Brittany breathes. “Even when I look in the mirror and don’t like what I see.”

“I’ll always be here to remind you.” She presses a soft kiss to Brittany’s sex and feels the way her hips arch up, aching for more.

Santana makes love to Brittany in the slowest, most reverent way. She can’t imagine ever doing this without feelings because every touch of skin on skin, every hitch of Brittany’s breath, every soft caress of her face reminds her that she is cherished. When Brittany falls apart, Santana finds her hand and she meets her eyes, making Brittany see the love in her own as she pleasures her with her mouth. She knows Brittany has had others besides her and sometimes she’s uncertain if she’s skilled enough but in this moment, she knows that she’s giving Brittany something that she only has with her.

After Brittany rolls Santana onto her back and makes her every nerve ending buzz, they lay side by side in silence, hearts still pounding, toes still tingling. Their fingers are woven together and Santana has her head on Brittany’s chest, listening to the sound of her heart. There’s noise outside the door as people still panic about the lack of electricity, but for Santana, the world has stopped and she’s just in a state of bliss with the love of her life.

“I don’t want to leave you for the summer.” She murmurs. “I’m going to miss you every day.”

“We did okay last summer. We’ll visit each other as much as we possibly can.”

“It makes my heart hurt thinking about it. I know my mom is counting down the days until I come home, but all I do is dread that the days are passing so quickly. I feel like I’m home with you, here.”

“We’re going to build a home together once we graduate.” Brittany promises. “I’ll go with you wherever you decide to get your PhD. We’ll live in a tiny, crappy apartment and we’ll love every second of it.”

“Why do you think my dreams are bigger than yours?”

“Because they are. Math isn’t my dream, it’s just something I’m good at. I’ll find a place to do that wherever you are. I think you’re my biggest dream.”

“I want to help you find a dream as big as mine.”

“I don’t know if I’ll ever find that. You’ve known what you wanted to do for almost all of your life. I spent most of mine thinking I’d just work at a chicken factory or something.”

“That doesn’t mean you can’t find one now.” Santana shakes her head.

“I don’t mind doing math forever. As long as I get to dance for fun and be with you. I don’t have to have some big dream, I just want to be happy.”

“You sound like Blair from The Facts of Life.”

“I can honestly say I’ve never seen that show.”

“Oh my God Britt, really? It’s like the gayest show ever.”

“Isn’t it super old?”

“Yeah and super gay. We’re totally going to watch it.”

“Not right now though. I mean, we don’t have electricity anyway, but also I don’t want to move.”

“I’m good with not moving ever again.” Santana smiles. “I love when you hold me like this.”

“You’re such a tiny spoon. I love that I get to cuddle with you.”

“Sometimes I can’t believe that I was scared us living together wasn’t going to work out.”

“Because you’re silly.” Brittany laughs. “Also, this is your first relationship so I get it.”

“I just don’t want anything to ever mess us up. You mean too much to me.”

“You mean that much to me too.”

“It’s really storming out there.” Santana turns her head to the window. “If it’s still raining like this tomorrow, I think we should stay naked in bed all day.”

“I’m suddenly regretting that we planned to go to the Met. I didn’t know naked all day was an option.”

“Well considering I’m not sure if I’ll be able to walk tomorrow...”

“Was I too rough with you?” Worry crosses Brittany’s face and Santana kisses her chin.

“You always make sure you’re not. It was just really good.”

“We’re good together.”

“We seriously are though.”

[theycallmebeccawrites]

Adventures in Parenting - Chris & Nikki Q&A

With Tumblr holding my original writing blog @beccaheartschrisevans captive (aka flagged as explicit), I have made a secondary writing blog and may end up closing the other all together. In the meantime, I am reposting all of my stories on my new blog.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Nikki Evans (OFC) Rating: PG-13 Warnings: language? Summary: A “podcast transcript” of a Q&A with Chris & Nikki set in February 2021.

Adventures in Parenting (Chris & Nikki) Masterlist

Chris & Nikki Q&A (February 2021)

Please note this is written as if it were a blog post with a podcast transcript.

February 17, 2021

Hello my fellow mommies and daddies! I have an extra special treat for you all today! My best friend/sister-in-law, Nikki, and her husband, Chris, have agreed to take part in an extra special podcast right here on my parenting blog!

So what is so special about my fabulous sister- and brother-in-law? Well she is a hot momma of three of the cutest kids on planet earth (joined by my little ones, of course) and he is Captain America…. Or rather, he played Captain America in the Marvel Cinematic Universe for 8 years.

I have been trying to get Nikki to take part in a podcast since I started doing them last year and I finally convinced her to sit down with me this past weekend. Originally it was just going to be the two of us, but then our husbands caught wind of it and decided they wanted to take part as well.

So here is the link to the podcast as well as a link to the transcript in case you can’t download the podcast for whatever reason.

Love Always,

Dana

–Transcript–

Dana: Hello to all my returning listeners and to all my new listeners. Even those of you who are only listening to this podcast because of Chris Evans…

Chris: It’s their loss if they are. You’re awesome and you’re one of the best moms I’ve ever been around.

Mikey: Suck up. [Coughs]

Dana: Thank you Chris. You’re my favorite brother-in-law.

Nikki: [Laughing] Not even a minute into this podcast and we’re already off topic.

Dana: You’re right, Nikki. I meant to start this with introductions. So I will start with myself for those that aren’t familiar with my voice. I am Dana and this is my blog/podcast. Mikey is my husband, we’ve been married for nearly ten years. Say hi, Mikey.

Mikey: Hi Mikey [He and Chris snicker]

Dana: You two are predictable. Moving on… next we have my best friend and partner in crime, Nikki. Who also happens to be Mikey’s step-sister. Say hello to the beautiful listeners Nikki.

Nikki: Hello everyone!

Dana: Last, but certainly not least, I present Nikki’s husband, Chris Evans. Chris say hello.

Chris: [Chuckling] I’m not used to being introduced as Nikki’s husband, I like it…

Nikki: I do too. [Smooching sound]

Mikey: Really? Already with the kissing… you two are gross.

Dana: And this is why this was just supposed to be a podcast with me and Nikki only. I’m going to have so much stuff to edit out.

Nikki: [Laughing] Sorry… I just can’t help myself sometimes. He is just so darn cute!

Chris: Hot… so darn hot!

Dana: Anyway….. Thank you Chris and Nikki for agreeing to take part of this podcast. Mikey and I know how hard you two work to keep your relationship and, especially, your kids, out of the public eye.

Nikki: We love you and we trust you. We know you won’t publish anything too revealing about us and the kids.

Chris: That and we know where you live and we actually have a key to your house and the code to the alarm system… there really isn’t any place you can hide from us…

Mikey: Geez Evans, don’t make me embarrass you by beating you up again. My muscles are just as big as yours.

Chris: Only because I haven’t been busting my as- [clears throat] -er, I mean, only because I haven’t been training as hard as I did when I was playing Cap every six months.

Dana: I told you we should have locked them in the man cave before we started this.

Nikki: [Snickers] Maybe we should just move onto the questions you prepared for us before they start comparing the size of other things…

Chris & Mikey: Nikki!

Dana: Alright, this first question is about how the two of you met. Now, I know Mikey and I already know the answer to this, but our listeners don’t.

Nikki: We met in August 1997, right after my mom and Mikey’s dad got married. I was 12 at the time and Chris was 16.

Chris: Mikey and I have been best friends since we were like 5 years old and we grew up across the street from each other. Our parents actually still live in those same houses. Which makes it very convenient for holidays and such.

Dana: Nikki, you and I have spent a lot of time talking about this. Hell, I’ve known you since before Chris and even Mikey, since we were both the “new girl” at school in 1996. But I’ve never heard Chris’s thoughts about your first meeting.

Chris: Honestly? I didn’t have any. Like Nikki said, she was 12 and I was 16. She was just my best friend’s new kid sister.

Nikki: While I, on the other hand, thought he was the cutest guy I’d ever seen. And I suppose I should mention that I was a month shy of turning 13 when we met.

Dana: So it wasn’t really love at first sight for you guys then.

Mikey: Well Nikki thought she was in love for a while. I found a couple notebooks that had ‘Mrs. Chris Evans’ written in a heart…

Nikki: Chris was the first guy I ever had a crush on, so yeah, I thought I was in love with him. Then he graduated high school and I started liking and, eventually, dating other guys.

Dana: Which leads me directly to how you two got together. And I will start this by informing the listeners that you guys we reintroduced at mine and Mikey’s wedding nearly ten years ago. Nikki was my maid of honor and Chris was Mikey’s best man. So what was it about the other that caught your attention?

Chris: Well, naturally, the first thing I noticed about her was her beauty, especially her smile.

Nikki: And then you realized who I was and you went from flirt mode to protect the bro code mode.

Mikey: Not that he protected it for very long….

Chris: Says the one who married his sister’s best friend….

Dana: Guys… don’t make me put you in time out…

Chris & Mikey: Yes mom

Nikki: [Chuckling] As soon as Chris had a couple beers in him at the rehearsal dinner and found out that Dana and I were best friends, the bro code got tossed out the window

Chris: You’re making me sound like a pig, Nik… I also threw out the code because I saw you interacting with your younger half-sisters and then my family, especially my nephews and something just clicked in my head. I knew you were the one when my nephew put a chocolate hand print on that pink sundress you were wearing and instead of freaking out like girls I had dated in the past, you just laughed it off and gave him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.

Nikki: Oh, Chris! [Sniffles] You’ve never told me that before. I didn’t even know you’d witnessed that. Much less knew that night that you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me.

Chris: I’ve meant to tell you for a while now, but I guess I never did. Especially, since I had to spend six weeks convincing you that I really wanted to be in a relationship with you.

Mikey: I remember those six weeks. Here I was a newlywed, expecting to get extra loving from my new wife only to find myself in bed alone while Dana was on the phone with Nikki for hours and hours.

Nikki: It was a lot to take in. Chris and I hadn’t seen each other for 13 years and he was a few weeks away from the release of the first Captain America. Plus I was attracted to him, but I wasn’t sure if what I was feeling for him was real and adult or just left over from my youth.

Chris: And she waited until I was in the middle of the promo tour to agree to a date with me. Then after the promo tour and premier was over for the movie, I had to report back to filming for Avengers. So we didn’t have our first date until the middle of August.

Dana: Tell us about your first date.

Nikki: I bought a great dress for it and he got to my apartment and told me to go change into pants because I couldn’t do what we were going to do in a dress.

Chris: I told you to change after I told you how gorgeous you looked and that I would happily change the plans I had made for us.

Nikki: That’s right, you did. But you’d been telling me for weeks over text messages and the phone that you’d planned a great first date for us and I didn’t want you to change anything.

Mikey: You guys went mini golfing right?

Chris: Yeah, I took her out for dinner and then we went mini golfing. She totally beat me.

Nikki: I still don’t believe I beat you without you throwing the game. You love golfing, I don’t. I’m good at sports that don’t require me to hold on to something.

Chris: I didn’t let you win. I was just distracted by your beauty and wishing I had kissed you the minute you’d opened your front door.

Nikki: [Laughing] You are so full of bs.

Mikey: [Groans] Again with the kissing?! Dana ask them another question!

Dana: So Chris said he knew the night you guys were reintroduced that you were the one he wanted to marry. When did you know you wanted to marry Chris, Nikki?

Nikki: I knew by my birthday, which was about a month after our first date. He was in Ohio for most of that time because of filming, but we spent just about every free moment we had talking on the phone or texting.

Chris: I wooed her.

Nikki: You did.

Dana: How long was it before you guys started talking about getting married? I mean, it couldn’t have been long because Chris proposed on New Year’s Eve.

Chris: I think our first conversation about marriage and kids happened when she came to visit me while I was filming in Ohio, which was in like mid to late September.

Nikki: It was just after the Patriot’s game ended. I was due to leave the next morning and I think we stayed up most of the night just talking about where we saw ourselves in ten years.

Chris: And look where we are now. It’s been nearly ten years and everything we dreamed about has come true. We have three amazing kids, two great dogs and a terrible cat.

Nikki: [Laughing] Oh don’t even say that. You love Sadie as much as the rest of us do.

Dana: So where do you guys see yourselves in ten years?

Mikey: Wait! You teased about the proposal, shouldn’t you ask them about that first before moving on to the future?

Dana: Oh, right. Quick recap of the proposal and wedding?

Chris: [Chuckling] Like you said, I proposed to her on New Year’s Eve in 2011. My mom was hosting a party at her house and, like always, Nikki and Mikey’s parents offered her use of their fridge for extra food. So my mom, who was totally in on the whole plan, sent Nikki and I across the street to get more food and I proposed to Nikki in the kitchen where we met back in 1997.

Dana: [Squeals] I know I knew about it ahead of time and I’ve known the story for ten years, but I just get excited whenever I hear one of you guys tell that story! Just gives me all the feels!

Mikey: The feels? Seriously? Are people still saying that? Wasn’t that like soooo five years ago?

Nikki: It gives me the feels too. Especially when you add the fact that we got married nearly 15 years to the day that we first met.

Dana: If only that venue had been available on the August 1st instead of August 4th.

Chris: I think it all worked out perfectly in the end, just the way we wanted it to.

Nikki: It really was perfect. We got married at this fully restored, 100 year old barn about thirty minutes from Sudbury. It was a gorgeous venue.

Chris: And a gorgeous bride.

Nikki: Don’t forget the hot groom who was rocking a sexy suit.

Chris: You know me, I won’t wear a suit that isn’t sexy.

Mikey: Ugh seriously! [Groans] Dana ask them the 10 year question so they stop making out over there

Dana: [Laughing] Alright, for real this time. Where do you two see yourselves in ten years. Both career and family wise.

Chris: Family wise, I think we’re both open to having more kids.

Nikki: I’d love more kids. Whether it be through us having more biological children or adopting from within the United States or even internationally.

Mikey: You’re almost 40, Chris [Grunts in pain] Hey! What was that for!

Chris: For reminding me I’m almost 40, but please continue…

Mikey: Promise not to hit me again?

Chris: You have thirty seconds to spit out whatever you were going to say.

Mikey: [Talks fast] How late into your 40s do you plan on having kids? Because Rachie is almost 4 and you’re going to be 54 when she graduates high school.

Chris: I haven’t really thought about it too much, if I’m being totally honest. I suppose I should though…

Nikki: I think that is totally ok, it’s not like we can change anything after the fact. Some people meet their significant other young and have kids young. We didn’t and that is totally ok, too. So we’ll be old when our youngest babies graduate high school… that’s perfectly fine with me as long as you’re by my side.

Mikey: [Groans] And they’re kissing again, honestly you two!

Dana: What about career wise? You just did your first animated film with Disney, didn’t you Chris?

Chris: I’m not technically allowed to talk about it just yet… but yes, I’m lending my voice to an animated character and it’s not what people would expect from me. But other than that, I’ve enjoyed taking some time off with Nikki and the kids, but I’ve also enjoyed doing some theater and getting behind the camera some more too.

Dana: I suppose we should move onto the parenting questions since this is a parenting blog. However, because we’ve already used up more than two-thirds of our podcast time, we’ll have to be quick with these questions so we can play ‘Who is’

Nikki: Sounds good to me.

Dana: Alright, since we are short on time, I will just inform the listeners that you two have three kids, a 7 year old, a 5 year old and a 3 year old. Do they have set bedtimes?

Chris: We try to keep them on the same schedule as much as possible, but life happens and sometimes you have to roll with the punches.

Nikki: On the weeks we do manage to have all the kids in bed by 8 and asleep by 8:30, we have a family movie night on Friday and we let the kids stay up an extra half hour.

Dana: What a perfect transition to my next question! We grew up without a lot of the technology that is a part of our everyday lives now. There are hundreds of studies about kids and their addictions to phones, iPads, computers and other things even as young as 2 or 3. How are you guys dealing with that?

Chris: Nikki and I both realized how attached we were to our phones when Josh was born and we kind of took a step back from things. Especially when he wanted to hold said phones. But we have set rules in place to help limit their use of technology.

Nikki: We have lots of timers and electronics that turn themselves off and remain off for certain amounts of time. We’ve had to adjust some of Josh’s computer time to allow for the homework assignments that require him to be on the computer, though.

Chris: Nikki and I are both outdoorsy people

Mikey: [Snorts with laughter]

Chris: Ok… so I’m an outdoorsy person and Nikki tolerates it as long as I don’t make her sleep in a tent without an air mattress, go more than two days without showering or using a flushing toilet, and or make her touch a fish.

[All four laughing]

Chris: But like I was saying, our kids love being outdoors as well. The boys love splashing around in the rain and mud in the spring and fall as much as they door running through the sprinkler in the summer. And they love playing outside in the snow.

Nikki: Like father, like sons.

Chris: Exactly. So yes, we try to limit the amount of time they spend using technology, but we understand that it is a part of their future, we just want them to find a happy medium.

MIkey: So we’re all in agreement that our kids and your kids aren’t getting cell phones until they’re teenagers.

Chris: I was thinking more like sixteen. If they prove that they’re responsible enough for one.

Nikki: We really are ancient aren’t we? I’m pretty sure mom and dad got the twins cellphones for their 10th birthday.

Dana: I don’t want to think about how old we are. [Whines] Let’s play ‘Who Is’ instead!

Dana: So I’ll ask a question and you guys either answer with your own name or the other’s name.

Mikey: Am I playing?

Dana: No, just Nik and Chris.

Mikey: I’ll go get another drink then. Chris you want one?

Chris: Sounds good.

Dana: Alright, first question. Who is the cuddle bug?

Nikki: Depends on the situation, we both can be cuddly

Chris: But it’s usually her

Dana: Who is more affectionate?

Chris: This is another ‘depends on the situation’ question

Nikki: What he said

Dana: Who is more protective?

Nikki: Chris

Chris: I don’t know about that one babe, I’ve seen you go momma bear on some people…

Dana: Who reaches for the other’s hand first

Nikki: Depends on the situation. But I like holding his hand…

Chris: And I like holding hers.

Dana: You two are totally cheating in this game, by the way. Though, I’m pretty sure we all know the answer to this next tone. Who gives the silent treatment when they’re mad at the other.

Chris: Nikki

Nikki: [Laughing] Definitely me

Dana: Called it! Alright, how about this one who sneaks into the shower with the other in the morning?

Mikey: [Groans] I don’t want to hear this answer… I came back at the wrong time…

Nikki: [Laughing] I’m up with the sun and he likes to sleep in, so it’s definitely not him

Chris: You’ve snuck into the shower with me a time or two…

Nikki: That’s cause you’re hot and I can’t help myself.

Dana: Alright, well who initiates sexy times the most

Nikki: I’ve never really thought about it…

Chris: Me either…

Dana: Here’s another one that I’m pretty sure I know the answer to. Who whispers inappropriate things in the other’s ear at inappropriate times?

Chris: I won’t even attempt to deny this one… though Nikki has said some pretty dirty things to me on red carpets…

Nikki: Only to help you relax…

Dana: I am very proud of you Nik! Alright who sings in the shower?

Nikki: That would be both of us.

Dana: Who takes the longest to get ready?

Nikki: [Snickering] Do you want to answer this one Chris?

Chris: Shut up. It’s not my fault you wake up so beautiful you don’t need to do much…

Nikki: You’re so full of it! [Laughing] But seriously, I’ve just perfect the mom has five minutes to get herself ready for the day look for my everyday life. But when it comes to getting ready for events, I do take much longer than he does… usually because it includes some sort of spa-like pampering.

Chris: It’s cause you deserve it.

Dana: Aww you guys are too cute! Speaking of events, who drags the other out to the dancer floor?

Nikki: I can usually coax him out there for a dance or two..

Chris: She is my weakness…

Dana: Alright, slight shift here to questions about being pregnant or rather when you were pregnant. Who suggested the most ridiculous names?

Chris: That would be me.

Nikki: And your friends. Chris Hemsworth suggested we name our eldest son Thor.

Dana: [Laughing] I had forgotten about that! Alright, who read the most ‘What to Expect’ books?

Chris: That would probably be me, too.

Nikki: Though it probably should have been me. But there were some nights that Chris would read it aloud to me.

Dana: Awwww!!! Gah, I want another baby…

Mikey: I think we’re done with the baby questions…

Dana: Spoil sport. [Clears throat] Alright, here are some travel themed ones. Who always gets the window seat on the planes?

Chris: Me, Nikki doesn’t like sitting by the window

Dana: Who is in charge of the radio during road trips?

Nikki: The driver

Chris: Unless his co-pilot convinces him to let her pick the music during the drive from Boston to Georgia…

Nikki: Oh hush, you loved the mix I put together and you know it.

Dana: Who over packs?

Nikki: That would be me. I overpack for myself and the kids.

Chris: And then she packs extra stuff for me, too.

Nikki: And I’ve saved his butt a couple times for doing so.

Dana: Who, without fail, accidentally leaves something important at home?

Chris: Guilty. I’m pretty sure we have a drawer full of extra phone chargers cause I always forget mine.

Dana: Who’s the most spontaneous?

Chris: Probably me, but only because Nikki can be a bit slow at making decisions

Nikki: True story.

Dana: Who is more likely to bring home a new pet

Nikki: Well we have a golden retriever named Boston that Chris found at a shelter while filming the second Captain America movie in Washington D.C.

Chris: His name was Boston! I couldn’t just leave him in D.C., it just wasn’t right! Plus, he is like the sweetest dog ever. But don’t tell Max, our other golden retriever, that, because I don’t want him to get jealous.

Nikki: Speaking of Max, he was a surprise present from Santa for our eldest son’s first Christmas

Chris: That was Mikey’s idea, because they had one puppy left from their dog’s liter

Mikey: Oh no, don’t drag me into this.

Dana: On to the next question!! Who kills the bugs?

Chris: As long as they aren’t spiders, I’ve got it.

Nikki: Though, you have started killing spiders for Rachie

Chris: That’s because she looks at me with her big blue eyes and suddenly the spiders aren’t so scary anymore because I need to protect her…

Dana: Be still my heart. [Sighs happily] Last question, who starts getting into the holidays way before they should?

Nikki: Both of us.

Chris: We never host Thanksgiving so we start decorating for Christmas the day after Halloween

Nikki: Bring on the Christmas carols

Chris: We like Christmas. We do Christmas good.

Mikey: And loud… and bright… how many lights did you have on your house last year, neighbor?

Chris: I don’t even know. But it made the kids smile and that’s all that matters.

Dana: Thank you guys so much for joining me for this podcast. It has been so much fun.

Nikki: Thank you for having us. Or rather, thanks for recording us? We do this all the time in real life.

Chris: Best of all, Mikey and I kept our potty mouths clean! That means we get beers!

Mikey: We get all the beer!

Dana: And on that lovely note, we will say goodbye for this podcast. I will be back again next week.

All Four: Night!

Want to find me off tumblr? I’m @beccatheycallme on twitter. I also post my stories on AO3 and Wattpad.

My tag list is always open, just let me know if you’d like to be added!