#I’m sorry but they’re both so autism coded

[therainbowwillow]

Do we ever find out what Charles Darnay is actually doing in France?? I’m rereading A Tale of Two Cities and I realized that it doesn’t seem to be incredibly clear?

In the trial scene, we learn that:

-He goes back and forth between England and France and has been doing so for years.

-He claims he is not supplying the French government with English intelligence to aid the Americans in their revolution but will not reveal, even when his life is threatened, what exactly he is doing on those visits.

-He might be crossing the channel from Dover like Lorry and Lucie did but neither Lorry nor Charles confirms whether or not he was one of the mail passengers.

-He boarded the same ship that Lorry, Dr. Manette, and Lucie were taking for their return journey in the middle of the night, spoke with two Frenchmen in hushed tones, and exchanged papers with them.

-Despite all the whispering and secrecy, he doesn’t appear to hesitate in the slightest to help Lucie, who is a complete stranger, to shelter Dr. Manette from the weather. And he straight-up tells her, a person who—again—he has never met before, that he is secretly traveling under a false name??

-He knows enough about American politics to make jokes about George Washington.

-He might’ve been spotted near Dover, but Sydney’s defense pokes holes in that theory.

-He was once friends with Barsad the English spy and Cly was his servant? (How the hell did he even encounter these people??)

Yeah, Charles, what are you doing???

We see him go to France on screen only twice: to visit Évremond and on his ill-fated trip to rescue a friend from prison that nearly gets him killed.

The first visit is miserable! He literally just argues with his uncle about whether or not poor people should be allowed to exist, gets borderline verbally abused for daring to have morals, and hurries back to England after said uncle gets murdered (an incident that somehow genuinely seems to have nothing to do with Charles). They do talk about Charles’ plans for the family estate, but it doesn’t seem like a conversation they’d need to have repeatedly over a course of multiple years and, if anything, it seems to make Charles deeply unhappy.

The second visit is definitely a special circumstance and not his general reason for visiting France, but maybe his relative closeness with the guy (what’s his name?) who he charges with watching the estate could be a reason for him to visit previously for a reason other than seeing Évremond?

Does he have living family besides Évremond to protect? Friends? Is there some stipulation that he has to maintain a relationship with Évremond in order to inherit the estate? Is he making plans for what to do with the estate once Évremond dies?

What am I missing here??? Is he just weird? Is this the 1770/80s version of being forced to see your one awful uncle at Christmas dinner every year except Charles brings it upon himself?

[meowmeowriley]

Hi MeowMeow Costume anon here sorry it’s taken a couple days for me to reply life got busy finding one’s honour is harder then I thought!

You want my autistic head canons for Zuko? Strap in for some unhinged rambling because I have ✨thoughts✨ this will be long

(CW: implied child abuse (Fuck Ozai))

Zuko likes music (Iroh mentiones he’s talented with the Tsungi horn) and his swords I also think he would have picked up dancing at some point with how he moved during dance of the dragons.

When he’s around people he trusts he emotes more with his face and masks less in general and I’d say if he felt safe enough he’d do more overt (for him) stimms like humming, minor rocking or tugging on his hair Iroh would be one of his safe people and eventually the gaang would be too

*I don’t think he’d have very obvious stimms in general being raised royal he’d be expected to act a certain way and hand flaps are not it. Also flaming 💩lord Ozai would have seen any aberrations as weakness and stamped that shit out fast

*I honestly think it could be one of the reasons the flaming 💩lord despises Zuko being inherently different would be a weakness in his eyes and reflect badly on him

I think he and May get along well because they’re both autistic and are a safe space for each other. she has trouble processing her emotions he has trouble controlling his they make good emotional counter balances

He cares so much about the people and animals around him even his enemies a strong sense of justice is a common sign of autism and speaking out of turn was the initial reason for his banishment.

He’s so socially awkward he doesn’t know how to talk with people instead of at them his entire pep talk to himself and subsequent introduction to the gaang when he tries to join them is peak “how do you do fellow kids” and his “that’s rough buddy” is as iconic as it is socially inept.

The guy totally hyper fixated on hunting the Avatar and when he could no longer find his purpose in it and realised he was wrong he did not cope

He has no tackt. none. and he takes things at face value and he hates lying his humour is also a little left leaning and he tries to relate to others and their experiences as a way of bonding.

While he’s not a prodigy fire bender like his sister he found ways around his limitations that helped accentuate his natural talents like his sword fighting (dancing would help with sword work) being incorporated into his bending (I don’t remember any other character bending with weapons).

He’d know a lot about tea from Iroh and I think he enjoyed working in the tea shop

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk!

I hope these make sense it’s kinda late now but this was fun to write thanks for reading my insane rambles :D

Also in response to the (non gendered) Prince! line you gave me so much surprise gender euphoria I cried 😭🫠🥹 sincerely thank you. I’m going with he/him pronouns atm but he/they is something I want to look into.

if you don’t mind me asking what are your pronouns?

I’ll probably send another ask in the next couple of days to annoy you with lol but in the meantime have a great day!

Sorry I took so long to get back to this, but damn I needed it today so I guess it's good I kept this in reserve. ❤

Holy shit, I can't unsee Zuko as autistic now. Like it's impossible. He's so perfectly coded to be on the spectrum. He's generally monotone, until he's not, and that's always when he's dealing with big emotions. He'd be a lip biter for sure.

Zuko doing dance as a stim 😍 the first time the Gaang sees him dancing when he thinks he's alone, they'd be so supportive, and have no idea what that would mean to him.

Fire lord Zuko infodumping about tea to some random person who tried to ask if he'd like them to make him some, as he heats the tea himself with his bending, and damn if that isn't the best tea that servant has ever had in their life.

Until next time my non gendered Prince Zuko! (Which will be in like, a few minutes, when I get to your other ask. Again sorry for the wait 😭 I'm bad at this)

[definitelynotshouting]

Hi!! Hello!! Your worldbuilding has once again enchanted and fascinated me! But I have no one to talk to about mcyt-related worldbuilding so I’m just going to (definitelynot) shout (ha ha. I’m funny.) at you if that’s ok!!

Ever since I found this fandom I’ve been fascinated by how to deal with video game mechanics in writing, and I’ve found it a very interesting ongoing puzzle, to come up with worldbuilding or lore to explain the more mechanical, coding-based stuff and cover up the fact that the characters are in a videogame. I think that’s part of why I love your worldbuilding so much, because you went in completely the opposite direction, and made Code the base, the reality-fabric, of all the rest of your universe! It kinda blew my mind!

Anyway, the player inventory and in-game chat are two of the most glaringly Video Game mechanics, and two of the first that I came up with explanations for, which is why I (like Tango) latched onto those few lines and details about them in chapter four. For me, they’re both explained by the very flexible fabric of reality inherent to server-words. Because reality is so easy to manipulate (and be manipulated without breaking down) in these worlds, it’s easy for Players to simply open a small personal pocket dimension they can store stuff in. (The same way it’s easy to make something float by just leaving it there and taking away what connects it to the ground) the chat happenes basically the same way. Server-worlds allow for a very shallow telepathic link across all players that everyone experiences a little differently (you might see it scroll across the inside of you arm, look at it in the corner of your vision, actually hear it quietly in your head, etc.)

But that’s a lot of My Ideas, I am, in fact, here because of Your Ideas. Because I’ve alway seen them as sperate things, and I am So Curious about how you’ve linked them. The chat being on external comms on a watch or phone-like device seems pretty common in the fandom, but linking them the way you have — in that you can’t have an inventory without a comm — raises so many questions!! (/pos) how do they work? Are they mechanical? Magical? Natural? Bio-magical? If they were something that needed to be invented, who invented them? How long have they been around? What did people do before then? How does a new player get their first comm/inventory? If comms can comunicate across worlds, could they theoretically take their inventory across worlds/servers as well? Is cross-void trade a very dangerous, but lucrative, profession? Do they have to exchange comm-phone-numbers or can they immediately contact anyone they’ve ever met? If you have stuff in your inventory and you loose your comm, do you lose the stuff too? Or does it transfer like an ender chest? Could someone else steal your inventory by stealing your comm? Does a player have to attune to a comm like a dnd magic item? How common is it to have to build a new one?

I’m gonna stop now because this is really long, it’s 11, and I Will just keep thinking of more questions. I’m so intrigued by this!! Those few little lines have completely captivated me with their potential!! I’m excited!!

(Sorry if this had a bit too much of my own personal worldbuilding ramble, I just really wanna talk to someone about this stuff!)

Ive been 👁️👁️ at this ask since you sent it in and first of all im so sorry the autism won for a bit and kept me from answering your questions, second of all i think your worldbuilding is SO NEAT :DDD this is SUPER COOL i love your ideas, comms being a telepathic link is so interesting to me!!! Also, im intensely flattered that you like the direction i took with hunger au's worldbuilding so much!! I've been having a lot of fun sorta marrying biology and irl physics with computer programming-based building building blocks for this universe, to the point where im actually starting to put together a legit glossary in my masterlist doc to keep it all straight in my head 😂😂😂 it's an interesting challenge for me to try and meld all these things together so i can make something that feels completely different from our world without losing its relatability, so im super glad you're appreciating it!!!

These are a lot of questions im gonna try and answer all at once, so i'll put it beneath the cut so it doesnt clog people's dashes LMAO

So firstly, the way i view communicators is,,, okay dont laugh too hard but i literally just visualize them as pip boys from fallout SKDNJWNDJS for some reason ive NEVER been able to shake that mental image, so ive just sorta accepted that into how i view them for hunger au. Personally, i see them as sort of a... mishmash of the bio-mechanical, something that isnt QUITE a direct part of them but is very much attached and integrated with their code. So its not like an organ, but an interface, i guess-- comms are how you can access an inventory, which is basically just hammerspace the way you've already described it, and where you can change your own surface code, and its also just... the way Players are able to interact with the worlds around them.

You also send messages with comms, but instead of there being anything like phone numbers, you're forming a direct link between your comm and someone else's!!! Not telepathic the way you've done with your worldbuilding, but because i see comms in this universe as something that latches onto and interacts with your code, its still a very important connection. Once connected, you can talk to that person all the time through your comm, even if they arent currently on your server-- although I do think that this only extends to when youre within the same server cluster.

As for how Players get them in the first place: for spawned Players, they just spawn in with them. Thats where the bio part comes in i think, and its a little hard for me to explain the way i view it, but its something like... i guess a bit like when moons form around planets. The code of an entity has a certain weight to it, and when a Player and their singleplayer world spawns in, the comm does with them, already attached and integrated with their code. For birthed Players, its very different-- they arent born with a comm, so they need a comm made, and then integrated with their code by a skilled code wrangler. It is VERY tricky to make a comm-- theyre incredibly fiddly, super hard to code without mistakes, and they take an extraordinarily long time to put together, let alone integrate properly with someone's code. Im not sure the word dangerous is the most accurate term here, but there are potentially harmful consequences if you integrate a poorly made comm with someone's code.

As for inventory transfer, i think you can bring stuff in your inventory from one server to another. This is mostly used for personal items or gifts, i think-- Player culture and attitude generally emphasizes fun, and whats more fun than giving someone something special that you made/got for them, or bringing a little memento with you from an old world you want to remember?

Theoretically, im sure there are Players who bring supplies or previously used tools with them to new worlds, but i think most Players like the excitement and challenge of starting fresh. It all depends on the person and the community culture surrounding that server if its a multiplayer. Cross-void trade is probably definitely a thing, but i dont think its necessarily very dangerous, just something more personal that you'd do for yourself or for a friend rather than any kind of business model.

As for someone being able to steal a comm, i dont think you can if its attached to the Player it belongs to, because at that point its basically a part of them. They can take them off, though, so someone could potentially steal it then, but unless theyre a skilled code wrangler and can crack into it, i dont think it would work for them or let them access that person's inventory. It would, however, be an incredibly effective (and cruel) way of controlling someone's actions and where they can go/who they can talk to.

This is why, ultimately, lost comms are a huge deal; losing your comm is literally losing access to pieces of yourself, your world, and your community. And while as a Watcher, Grian doesnt technically need a comm to access his code or enter other servers, he does still need it to keep in touch with other people and facilitate those community bonds, as well as keep an inventory. So yeah, Tango fretting over Grian losing his comm was very much warranted.

AAAAAAA THIS WAS VERY LONG i hope it was worth the wait!!! I know you sent another question but im gonna answer that one separately later since its about a different subject, and this is already SOOOO MUCH RAMBLING on my part. Thank you for sending these asks, and you are absolutely welcome to ramble at me as much as you want!!! :D

[vividbadsquadreal]

🦇 for all of vbs maybe i'm very curious to see your opinions on this (@incorrect-queer-prosekai)

🦇 - would i rather this character be a vampire or a werewolf?

alright this is one of those times where before i say anything i need to clarify: i was a twilight fan when i was 12/13 and that has probably permanently affected my brain. also, i was team edward all the way so i may be a little bit biased, i will try not to be.

(me about to write this like an essay where you have to show both viewpoints /hj)

this got kind of long so actual opinions under the cut

kohane

on the one hand kohane loves animals which points to werewolf

on the other hand she has a really strong bond with count pearl, and snakes and vampires are similar in a way

also imagine her being drawn to an at the beginning of the main story bc her blood smells extra nice (like edward being drawn to bella in twilight (i am so sorry))

but also ofc vampires need blood to live and kohane would hate having to drink a living creature’s blood

yk how donated blood can only be kept for a certain amount of time before it has to get thrown out? kohane would steal the blood that won’t otherwise be used. it’s awful it’s like drinking stale milk but it’s enough to keep her going

her friends offer for her to have their blood consensually but she says no. this one time minori is so determined to help so she trips on purpose and is like oh no look at all this blood that i don’t need going to waste. if only there were a vampire here to put it to good use

why has this just become vampire!kohane hcs

YOU CAN SEE MY BIAS NOW CAN’T YOU

an

to keep this balanced, i’m going to go with werewolf an

werewolf!an and vampire!akito works super well in my head bc on the one hand an would scare akito on purpose but on the other hand an would be warm all the time and akito would be cold all the time so they would huddle for temperature regulation. (ofc this works for toya and kohane too but they’re happy to cuddle just to cuddle without the false pretences.)

an in her werewolf form knocks things off tables with her tail by mistake. all the time.

an moves in her sleep hc but worse. sometimes she turns into a werewolf in her sleep and doesn’t realise bc she wakes up human. she only realises bc when she wakes up her pillows and blankets and anything on her bedside table are all on the floor.

akito

akito’s is tricky because the thing is i can see both sides

on the one hand there’s something so funny about akito being afraid of dogs and then turning out to be a werewolf. but on the other hand him being afraid of dogs makes so much sense if he’s a vampire

he gets very little sleep (vampire coded) but he naps whenever he can (werewolf coded)

always cold (vampire) but consider him preferring being in his wolf form during the winter because his fur makes him warmer

vampire akito hating needing to rely on others to live (for their blood). werewolf akito hating needing to rely on others to make sure he doesn’t hurt himself or anyone else during a full moon

toya

i was torn on toya’s as well but ultimately i’m going for vampire. for funsies

toya is constantly dropping facts about random historical events but everyone just thinks he’s autistic and history is his spinterest

he would casually drop some fact about something super specific that happened 100 years ago and everyone would be like oh cool and move on

every time toya shows a sign of being a vampire people attribute it to autism. “he can’t have garlic sorry, i think it’s a texture thing” “sorry he never smiles with his teeth he’s bad at facial expressions” “he’s bad with social cues so he won’t enter your house unless you specifically say that he can”

[treacherousrift]

please tell me more about samandy <3

Omg. Prob gonna be a bit longer of an answer. So sorry I’m advance.

But I think if you want just my overall opinion about them, it’s that Sam and Andy are t4t. And also autistic. Like I wrote a samandy fic recently where I talk about Andy and him hiding his hands in his sleeves often is a stim for him, and how Sam finds that endearing. And I think there’s so much subtext when discussing Andy and Sam in relation to autism and queerness.

But like so much about Andy’s character is already very much queer coded, from the fact that he lives in a van and is a stoner and WEARS EAR CUFFS?? And everything abt him. And well sam is too so they’re perfect together for real! I also think the dynamic of being Special Children is also very much rooted in queer codedness…haha.

Also just the fact that Sam can be his psychic self without judgement with Andy.

I also think it’s interesting to see them as a pairing when you notice the way they both dress similarly? If that makes sense. Idk how to build off of that necessarily. And the way Andy follows sam around is so much like boyfriend energy ahh. I could say sm more (particularly about how Andy died and the fall back from that) but I will stop here I think.

[sungmee]

one thing that’s starting to frustrate me about the ofmd fandom is how there seems to be this attitude that stede is entirely at fault for the breakup and when they reunite, he needs to be like, groveling for ed’s forgiveness, which like,

1. they both made mistakes, because they’re responding to trauma and while stede leaving ed was bad, ed could’ve gone looking for him and also ed (after izzy pushed him) took his hurt out on other people too, but no one is getting mad at him like they are at stede. they both have a right to be upset with each other. 

2. no one is looking at stede's actions in ep 9 through the lens of him being super autistic-coded and as someone who is autistic in a very similar way to how stede presents, i want to flip furniture

the fandom wants to keep like, practically villainizing him, and acting like he did such a terrible awful thing and he was sooooo stupid and thoughtless and careless, and i'm over here like, no!! his actions weren't right, but they weren't something to hate him for!! he was a victim of trauma, responding in panic and shock to a sudden, frightening, violent, traumatic situation!! like, sorry, but i get thrown off kilter by having an unexpected trip to target sometimes!! you can’t just throw things at autistic people!! we need processing time!! and like, as someone who’s had bad awful toxic thoughts about themselves sitting in the back of their mind, and spent so much time trying to convince myself that they’re not true, having an outside person suddenly say those things are true actually and your fear and guilt and self-loathing are valid? man, that fucks you up!!! plus, i'm sorry, would anyone be totally okay watching a dude shoot his eye out like 3 feet in front of you?? like, stede's mind probably went blank in panic and he went racing back to his house because stability and routine and familiarity are what autistic people cling to!!

and also, stede leaving people isn’t him being totally thoughtless or not caring, he just has this lack of awareness of his impact on other people, both from terrible self-esteem and because that’s just how his brain might work with the autism. he cares about people, he really does! it just doesn’t occur to him to think about his actions affecting them, which i know because that’s a symptom i’ve been wrestling with my entire adult life 

anyway, i just!! have so many feelings!! about ep 9 but specifically in the context of stede being autistic 

[neurodiverse-clones]

Ok so I know I already requested and I don't want to come across as rude or anything

But

I absolutely love your headcanons and was kinda curious if you could do some badbatch headcanons where they try to help Echo with his autism?

Thanks

HI hello yes! Sorry it took me way longer to respond to this than your first ask, it’s the ADHD 😅 But for sure! And don’t worry, asking me to share headcanons doesn’t come across as rude. The enthusiasm makes me happy!

One thing I think about the Bad Batch is that they’re all a little autism coded—Hunter’s sensory stuff, Tech’s special interests, Crosshair’s tendency toward a flat affect, Wrecker sometimes missing social cues—so I feel like they all help in different ways! (I also feel like Tech and Wrecker are a bit ADHD coded, which will come back later.)

Hunter would be the one to help Echo deal with sensory overload and to help him learn to prevent it, because he has the most experience with it. He probably has things that help, like noise-canceling earmuffs or headphones, weighted eye masks to help with visual overstimulation (personally I don’t like having lightweight masks over my eyes but heavy ones feel nice, hence headcanoning weighted masks for him too), maybe… not candles probably, but some sort of pleasantly-scented oil or something to help with bad tastes and smells. And I think he’d share these with Echo until Echo got his own collection.

Tech is a great buddy to have infodump sessions with and to learn that special interests are cool and good, and maybe to expand Echo’s list of special interests. Like, Tech obviously loves technology but he also CLEARLY loves linguistics—I think he would help Echo find things he enjoys outside of the regs to develop special interests in! And then he would listen to Echo infodump about his new interest, knowing that in a few minutes it’s his turn to talk about the 800 languages and dialects of this one planet they’ve never actually been to and Echo will listen to him right back.

Wrecker seems like he sometimes misses social cues. Whether that’s out of distraction (ADHD) or not understanding them (autism) is probably up to interpretation, I feel like there’s a little of both—but I bet that he would help when Echo felt embarrassed about missing or misunderstanding a social cue by taking the attention off of Echo. I say this because he seems willing to make himself look a little silly sometimes—I imagine he probably understands the embarrassment and uses his own personality to his advantage to help Echo out without having difficult or uncomfortable conversations about it.

Crosshair… I’m not sure how he would help really! Like, I know for the other BB members I kind of used the way they I felt they were autism coded as part of how they would help or at least understand Echo, and to an extent that’s true here too? Early on in Echo’s timeline (I’m thinking s1e5 Rookies) he seems to have a bit of a flat affect, and so Crosshair would understand that because he also has that. But I’ve personally never known another autist who was particularly disturbed by their flat affect? In fact, I know/follow several other autists who have a flat affect and personally I barely notice the difference between that and a “normal” affect. People mention it because it’s something some of us experience while others of us tend to be… the opposite but I don’t know what the phrase for that is. But some autists tend to use more inflection than the average allistic person does. Anyway, all this to say it’s something people in general are aware of and that we know affects autistic people, but unless it’s a little exaggerated (like in a voice acting situation) I personally don’t really notice and so I don’t know how it affects other people/causes distress.

THAT all said, I think he still supports Echo and helps him deal with other stuff. I don’t think any of them “stays in their lane,” as it were. They all help and support him in the ways that are most comfortable for them and sometimes those overlap! Even if it’s just “sitting in the same room while Echo has a meltdown/shutdown” I feel like Crosshair would support him because even though he’s a bit flatter and less physically affectionate than the rest of the Bad Batch, he definitely still loves his brothers. It’s just less obvious to us as viewers.

And Wrecker and Tech have lots of stim and fidget toys and advice! Stimming is a shared identifying trait between autism and ADHD but personally I associate some stims with my autism and some with my ADHD and most of the ones which require toys or tools are ADHD stims, which is why I personally feel like Tech and Wrecker’s ADHD coding lends itself to fidget toys rather than the autism coding. But that’s just me!

[fellowstrangetownappreciator]

Curious and autistic-coded

Hello there! April draws to an end and with that I think it’s high time to hurry up and write this. What does April have to do with anything, you ask? April is the Autism Acceptance Month. So what better month to do this?

Unfortunately I didn’t make it. I failed. It’s already 1. 5. when I’m posting this. But at least I tried to deliver on time.

In this mini essay I’ll present my case about why I think the Curious brothers from TS2 Strangetown display autistic-coded traits and my personal takes on it.

It’s basically your average headcanon post but with a funny top hat!

0: Preface: What do I mean by “autistic-coded”?

When a character is coded as something, it means that they have traits that are associated with the demographics in question to make the consumer knowingly or not link the character with the demographic, although the character's "label” is never explicitly disclosed.

In the nutshell, it means that there are canonical reasons to read the characters as autistic, although you won't find the word "autism" anywhere in the game nor in the developer's commentary.

In this particular case I do believe that the developer may not even be aware of the code, as there is no evidence to suggest otherwise. If there is, I’m not aware of it and I would be happy to learn.

So, let’s start!

1: “The white male who is very good at science”

Unfortunately autistic representation in pop-culture has a long history of being rather straightforward in which traits the characters often have. This stems from the belief that autism is “a boy’s disorder” (that’s why some autism charities to this day use blue in their symbols). Among popular examples of autistic-coded characters are Big Bang Theory’s Sheldon Cooper and Death Note’s L and Near. I’m sure you can think of more but you’ll find that most of them are men and either explicitly white or racially ambiguous white-passing. They also tend to be gifted in tech, logic or other science-y activities.

There’s nothing wrong with that! Nothing wrong with being an autistic with those “stereotypical” characteristics and there is nothing wrong with people being represented. What is wrong is the monotony and afab people/people of color being underrepresented which leads (among other factors) to harder access to diagnosis and resources for those people in real life. But! That’s a topic for a different day. (and not for a simbrl, mind you)

Back to the Curiouses! I just wanted to say that autism in media is traditionally associated with characters whose gender presentation, race and interests align with theirs. Those characteristic thus make a very convenient template for autistic-coding.

2: Inconsistent performance, huge gaps between strengths and weaknesses

Pascal, Vidcund and Lazlo are very skilled Sims by default, extraordinarily even for their age. Pascal has a skill maxed while his younger brothers both near maxing theirs.

But as you can see in Pascal’s default skill panel, apart from Creativity, all his other skills are extremely low, 0 points for Mechanical, Body and Charisma, 1 point for Cooking and Logic and his second best skill, Cleaning, has only 3 points. The same situation can be observed in Vidcund’s and Lazlo’s, except their strong suits are Logic and Cooking respectively.

Huge discrepancies within performance in different cognitive areas is a common trait found in those on the autism spectrum. We’re often talking extremes here and the scale of the difference is the defining factor. Everyone has their strengths and weaknesses, it’s just in neurodivergent people those tend to be unusually noticeable.

I think that skills, simplified as they are, are the closest The Sims has to possibly simulate that because they track the character’s performance and expertise in different areas and allow comparison. In real life, of course, this comparison is not nearly as possible and exact, nor desired, but for all our analysis-loving enthusiasm, here we’re still talking fictional characters.

3: Struggle with social cues

It is widely known that one of autistic traits are difficulties with processing social situations, picking social cues and successfully replicating socially desired behavioral patterns.

But these three are Sims, are they not? They cannot possibly display this trait, since they’re programmed the same way as others.

Yes and no.

It is true that there is no specific in-game feature that would allow Sims to behave with explicit neurodivergency in mind* but with the right combination of traits they can simulate behavior that really hits close to home for neurodivergent players.

*at least not in TS2, TS3 has traits that simulate some possible neurodivergencies but their names tend to be rather... ableist unfortunate and they’re not relevant to this post since they’re not autism related, and even if they were, we’re focusing on TS2 exclusively

Let’s take look at Lazlo here. He is, indeed, a playful soul. He likes to goof around, tell jokes, make others laugh. And since he’s very close to his brother Vidcund, close enough even to Tell Dirty Joke (an interaction that needs quite a high relationship to unlock), he autonomously does just that.

And oh boy, does Vidcund disapprove.

From my personal experience playing them, their relationship usually takes quite a hit from every cheeky joke Lazlo throws Vid’s way. They usually autonomously repair it very quick but it happens often.

But that’s a standard behavior. Vidcund’s very serious, he doesn’t take well to jokes.

No. I mean technically yes, Vid is definitely a grumpy old plant dad but, at least in my game, he tends to accept Lazlo’s jokes. All kinds of them, actually, except for the dirty ones. And Pascal, who technically has even lower Playful points (0 in comparison to Vidcund’s 4), doesn’t seem to mind Lazlo’s poor attempts at grown-up humor.

But! What is it that makes Lazlo try still? What drives him to attempt to make Vidcund laugh with a dirty joke over and over again? (and fail?)

I my interpretation, Lazlo doesn’t do that on purpose, he is just really poor at evaluating “dirtiness” of a given joke and frequently misinterprets Vidcund’s cues. The animation of a dirty joke being rejected even supports that as Vid doesn’t signal his discomfort with any exaggerated easy-to-read facial expression until Lazlo gets to his punchline.

No only that but as I mentioned, the invisible lines between spicy and too vulgar are often hard to thread. I can recall many times I thought I was saying a witty quip on an “adult” topic and was met with awkward silence or someone shushing me because “that’s not how you speak in public”. I can well imagine myself in Lazlo’s shoes.

A situation of social cues being misinterpreted or ignored can be observed also in Vidcund. Programming-wise, those are just his low Niceness and extreme Shyness showing but combined they again paint a picture of a very neurodivergent-looking behavioral pattern.

He often behaves like the concept of politeness or social rules doesn’t exist because the combination of the aforementioned traits makes him come off very blunt (lecturing and shoving telescope-peepers with no warning whatsoever) and distant (having a high chance of rejecting simple small-talk socials).

(That’s Jasmine Rai casting the “Summon Vidcund” spell.)

Yes, I am fully aware that it makes a stronger case for him being an a**hole than autistic but... there’s no reason he can’t be both. Not all autistic people are sweet cinnamon buns, all personalities you can think of can be neurodiverse and, for some their neurodiversity can even amplify their inconsiderate ways, as I believe it is the case with our dear grouch Vidcund.

4. Their bios

“No matter what happens, Pascal believes there is a logical explanation for everything. In his free time, he practices home psychoanalysis and collects conspiracy theories.”

(that’s how I imagine practicing psychoanalysis looks like, sorry Freud)

“Serious and exact, Vidcund strives to fit the universe into a nice tidy package. He has an unnatural fondness for African violets.”

(let’s collectively pretend those are African violets)

“Not as studious as his older brothers, Lazlo got his degree in Phrenology. He likes to call phone psychics and spends hours trying to bend forks with his mind.”

*error: screenshot of Lazlo bending forks not found*

(but here he is hanging out with Erin Beaker, the closest thing to “calling phone psychics” you can actually do in-game)

Both Pascal’s and Vidcund’s bios point to a pattern-focused worldview with a strong emphasis on rationality as the center-point that anchors the way they understand the world around them and build their principles on. This “pattern-ization” of thinking is a common autistic trait, with rationality being a popular theme because emotions tend to be difficult to access and asses for many of us.

Lazlo’s biography is an outlier. But it still has something significant in common with those of his brothers: All three of their bios allude to a potential special interest of sorts.

Special interests as an autism-related term are very specific, in-depth and long-term hobbies or areas of expertise that make an autistic person happy and they tend to go to seemingly exhausting lengths, often at the cost of other areas of knowledge and most likely the person’s ability to talk about anything else for a long enough time. (a loving hyperbole, no disrespect meant) Mine are my characters and cats. An even more intense but a short(er)-term passion is called a hyperfixation.

Them potentially having a special interest is yet another possible autistic-coded feature.

5. Wait. Why does it matter?

Right. What does it matter if a Sim (A SIM) (or two or three) is autistic? What do I hope to achieve, pushing my autistic Curiouses agenda down your throats?

I got to write a long rant-piece about some of my favorite TS characters and I feel like I can finally die satisfied.

Apart from that and me sharing my happiness of finding some good pixels I can relate to, it is a matter of representation.

Remember by the very beginning I wrote how most of the representation our community gets in media tends to be just a one specific type of character?

And how the Curious brothers seem to fit the stereotype to a point?

There is something I omitted, something I saved for the last on purpose.

The role. The role in their story, the role in the society the piece of media portrays.

We often see neurodiverse, autistic or autistic-coded character as children, students, villains, lone savants, victims in distress, comedic relief sidekicks, either very vulnerable and needing protection, or detached and having their role defined only by their academic prowess or their special interest/profession.

What we rarely get to see them as, are... parents.

That’s what many of us autistics are or plan to be someday in the future. The dogma around autism has started to dwindle relatively recently and there are little to no examples of autistic adults being the care-givers for once in the media around us.

The Curious brothers are just that. They are chaotic, they are eccentric, they can be a little too much... but they are dutiful and loving fathers/uncles to their little aliens they raise.

They make it work. Even if they face difficulties, even if they don’t exactly fit the standard.

“Sometimes, a family truly can be three brothers raising alien babies, and it’s beautiful.”

It encourages us to define family by love rather than traditional structures and it shows us that portrait of a functional neurodiverse family we need to see.

And goodness, is it a powerful sight.

[turneverybodyintopuppets]

Hi. The following is my attempt to systematically hash out the “Mr. Infodump” controversy in the TS fandom. It’s primarily for my benefit, but I’m posting it on the off chance it helps someone else who’s just as confused/dismayed as I was. I’m not attempting to argue for blind absolution (”Thomas is an angel who can do no wrong!”) or cancellation (“He’s no better than the likes of J.K. Rowling!”), just to present as intellectually honest an assessment as I can make of what happened and the degree to which the TS team is responsible.

Laconic: Thomas Sanders, a content creator on youtube, posted a skit in which a character calls an aspie-coded character “Mr. Infodump”. Several fans have expressed hurt and anger over the use of a trait associated with neurodivergence as an insult.

My own initial impression: I’m on the autism spectrum myself, and personally, “Mr. Infodump” didn’t register as offensive to me; in fact, as a huge Logan kinnie, I liked that a neurodiverse trait I see in myself was being explicitly linked to my favorite character. That said, there are many in the community who feel deeply hurt and betrayed, and it would be a) irresponsible and b) close-minded to handwave their concerns. Thus:

[Abridged version: Bolded]

Context for use of the word:

Line from Roman: “I was going for regal sophistication [in last commercial pitch], but Mr. Infodump over here [*gestures to Logan*] wasn’t cooperating.” Defensive tone, alluding to the fact that Logan’s commercial pitch included excessive product information that would leave buyers disengaged.

History: Roman regularly invents nicknames for fellow sides and employs them in a manner that can range from fond teasing to a juvenile way of insulting the side he’s presently bickering with.

Names previously directed at Logan include “Calculator watch,” “Egghead,” and “No-Funsen Honeydew… Doo.” They generally play off of Logan’s tendency toward being uptight, stereotypically nerdy, and eager to furnish the group with information in the capacity of a teacher.

In this particular instance, I doubt anyone would say the word’s use was “malicious,” but it wasn’t “affectionate” either. Roman is visibly preoccupied and defensive in the scene, throwing out a nickname offhand.

Power Dynamic: There is no imbalance of power between Logan and Roman that would indicate anything resembling a bully-victim relationship. Logan responds to the word in the same manner he does Roman’s other antics and displays no particularly hurt reaction.

In-Universe Response: No character corrects or condemns Roman’s use of the term. This may, however, be because Logan is the first to respond, armed with his own complaints about the others’ commercials.

Meta-Level Implications: The audience is not encouraged to agree with Roman’s sentiment that infodumping is a negative trait anymore than they are his other commentary on Logan via nicknames like “Egghead,” because Logan’s role in the story consistently proves it wrong; all that infodumping saved an unconscious Roman from his murder-happy brother, for one, and the audience knows it. Given the posturing and defensiveness that accompany Roman’s delivery of the line, it’s clear the creators were communicating that he was in the wrong to say it. That, and Logan will almost certainly reinforce this by verbally decimating someone in the next episode, as per usual.

I think that last point is key. People will accuse others of infodumping in a negative way IRL—I know I’ve been called far worse for failing to mask—and to pretend that such things don’t exist in fiction is misrepresenting reality. Instead, creators can and should include minority characters (race, sexuality, gender, neuroatypicality, etc.) *confronting* discrimination, dealing with it complexly, and showing both the misguided character and the audience how wrong they are. Logan resonates with me—and other aspies, I think—largely because of how he clearly struggles in dealing with the other sides’ occasional criticism of his eccentricities, but he ultimately remains committed to his identity and ideals. If the TS crew continues to write a show that reinforces the fact that his neurodivergent qualities are what make him strong—and god knows there's not much media that does this well—, they’re doing something incredibly important for us.

The issue here, then, wasn’t the show promoting ableism as a message, because its handling of the conversation here doesn’t. Rather, it was the use of a term that many consider inherently ableist as an insult. So:

“Infodump” the word:

I find this fascinating, actually—Science is discovered. Math is discovered**. Language? Language is unequivocally invented. We’ve create these words with combinations of mouth-sounds, and we’ve assigned them meaning.

But the thing is, people have different backgrounds and experiences that define both who they are and the nuances of the meaning they tie to those mouth-sounds

Basic example of varied mental prototypes: I live in the northeast USA, so when I hear the word “bird,” the first thing that pops into my head is a bluejay or robin. If you ask my friend who’s studying in Brazil, though, he’d likely think of a macaw or toucan. 

For me, “spring” = my mom’s pink zinnia garden and “chocolate” = a square of hershey melting against gooey marshmallow. This idea of memories and experience informing word-meaning mapping, of course, extends to a) more nuanced concepts and b) a more subconscious level of understanding. Poetry in particular, I think, tends to play with this to invoke the sensory experiences it does... I could infodump about translated poetry but that’s a whoooollleee other thing and I’m getting off track.

But essentially, an individual’s experience of any given word, to a degree, is subjective. Our dictionary definitions are merely approximations of a collective understanding of that mouthsound-to-meaning mapping, and we have to update those definitions as language evolves (remember when “Google” couldn’t be used as a verb?)

So, what happens if I look up “infodumping”? TVTropes tells me it’s a “type of exposition that’s particularly long and wordy”. UrbanDictionary says its “used to deposit large amounts (usually entire articles) of information in online forums without summarizing or paraphrasing the information.” I reach the resources that explain it in the context of autism and ADHD over halfway down the Google results. The word “infodumping” has quite a few circulating meanings, and the one associated with neurodivergence isn’t as visible as we’d like it to be.

From what I understand, Thomas Sanders and co. merely knew “infodumping” as the practice of talking at length about a subject, like closing a rant with a friendly “aw, sorry for infodumping on ya” and such. This was exactly how Logan opens his commercial, so they stuck it in as a—frankly, kinda feeble—nickname á la the creative genius behind “Mr. Smarty... Pants”. They had no knowledge of the term’s gravity to the autism and ADHD community, because they haven’t been exposed to settings that use that definition.

So, where does that leave us on accountability? If they’re ultimately not producing ableist content, do Thomas Sanders and his team have the responsibility to be aware of how an insult featuring this particular word might be inherently triggering to a community?

Many accounts show that the inclusion of the term caused real emotional harm and as content creators—particularly ones with a relatively young fanbase—the TS team should have taken more precautions. A more diverse staff/writing room may have caught this, given how egregious some fanders found the error. Furthermore, why shouldn’t it fall on neurotypical people in general to “educate themselves” on these issues, as in the cases of other minority groups?

That said, however, can any creative team be reasonably expected to know of any-and-all potentially triggering content? I’ve avoided speaking of Thomas Sanders’ personal character to maintain some impartiality, but a long history of promoting representation and careful content warnings does suggest a genuine commitment to self-correcting. Accepting the well-intentioned criticism of fanders—many of whom are so broken up by this precisely because of the amount of faith they place in the TS team—and taking active steps to change is ultimately the best course of action, and I, for one, will be sticking around to see the results.

[solaroppositesyaoi]

My opinions and raking for season 2 episodes (That no one asked for)

1- The Sacred Non-repeating Number:

I really liked this episode! I thought it was a good season opener. It was fun meeting other Shlorps and having a class system introduced. I do feel Korvo just flat out excepting the class thing and going a long with it feels off, I wish we got more internal conflict from it, but maybe will get that later. I rank this ep 5th out of 8th but only because there’s eps I like more

2- The Earth Eraser

Here we are, the gay episode. Now this was a great ep mostly because it had Korvo acting like a petty little bitch and I LOVE to see it. I’m not really into violence and gore humor which this episode had a LOT of but it did have really really great character moments, I really liked seeing Korvo hang out with Yumyulack and the Pupa and Jesse scenes where top teir 👌. I do have a complaint where I feel the speech Korvo gives at the end feels very rushed and not earned, like if Korvo was doing all this just to get Terry’s attention then I wish we got more scenes where that was the case? Like maybe something in the dinner party scene at the beginning, and let me just say the autism coding in that scene GEEZ (but that deserves it’s own post). But Korvo and Terry DO kiss in this ep (Nice) so I guess I can’t complain too much (just kidding I’m going to complain a lot). This episode ranks 3rd out of 8 for me.

3- The Lake House Device

Aaaaaand this is the ep I liked the least which somehow, by a miracle, beat out the Wall episode. Not to say it’s a BAD episode I just felt like it missed a lot of character moments. It did have a few really funny moments, the cheeseburger slippers and platypuses come to mind but it lacked too much for me. Korvo being to into “perfect” Terry just felt off to me, I think it would’ve been better if he began to notice that Terry’s new behaviors take away from what Korvo actually likes about him, but he continues to change him because Korvo’s stupid. The comic Spinetrick did covers this really well (you know the one). Other then that I just felt like a lot of the jokes didn’t hit it for me. The big dick energy thing just wasn’t that funny, like it was better then I thought it was going to be but it just had me groaning at the end. As for manic Terry, while it was funny at first I think it was a joke that went on too far. Ranked 8th out of 8th sorry guys :/

4- The Emergency Urbanizer

NOW HERE’S A GREAT EPISODE. This one almost tied for first but just didn’t have enough Korvo content for me, but other then that I absolutely loved this episode. Everything from the beginning (Korvo’s dumb pink robe) to them just leaving their kids in the woods to the design and look of the forest city to Korvo getting constantly attacked by wolves the absolute inconceivableness of this episode I fucking LOVE it!!! Everyone is their best here and I love to watch Korvo get mulled over and over. Also the designs of the city and treeple including my wife Birchette, all so good!!!! Ranking this one 2nd out of 8th.

5- The Rad Awesome Terrific Ray

OK IN ALL SERIOUSNESS THOUGH.... this is my fav ep of the season...

I KNOW I KNOW a lot of people hate it (for good reason) but it’s the ep that had me laughing the hardest (to the point of tears) and I feel like that is all I can ask from the dumb dumb gaylien show. The scene of Korvo and Terry just fucking berating Jen for being basic had me howling not to mention all the scenes with Terry and the rats where fucking historical. There are so many fucking quotes in this ep. I even loved the side story with Jesse and Yumyulack which I usually don’t care for, but here it had me laughing just as hard at the main story line, and had me actually liking the Principle character who I’ve hated up to this point. ...and to acknowledge the elephant in the room the sex scene? Didn’t bother me too much, I thought it was pretty funny. Now do I get really embarrassed watching it? Yes, yes I do. I totally understand people issues with this ep and I respect them but I really like this dumbass episode for all it’s dumbassry. Ranked 1st out of 8, please send anon hate over this I deserve it.

6- The Apple Pencil Pro

Honestly an ep I forgot about until second watch, which isn’t fair because it’s a really good ep. I really feel this episode in particular solidifies that this is a dumb dumb show that does NOT take itself serious in the least and I kinda love it. I love how nonsensical, it just makes the show more fun for me. I really love the character Peter and how much the family agrees that their horrible monsters for hurting him, and the over top con at the end of the ep. I also love how even their worst enemies agree that Jesse is a good egg who wouldn’t hurt anyone intentional. I know people are going to cry about continuity but I honestly feel this isn’t the kind of show where continuity matters.There’s not much I can say about this episode other then it’s STUPID and I love how STUPID it is. Ranked 3rd of out 8.

7- The Unlikely Demise of Terry’s Favorite shot Glass

Now it’s no secret... I do not care for the wall plot. I find it honestly boring and none of the characters do anything for me, I feel it takes time away from the gayliens you know the REAL reason I’m watching this show. But I will say... the wall plat in season was much interesting then season 1. I feel season 1′s wall arch was much too much of a survival story we’ve seen a million times before. It was trite and full of cliches I’ve seen soo many times. It was also annoying so see sooo many people write big think pieces and reddit post about how the wall story was so much better then the aliens, like fuck off. But I will say this ep... was honestly very good. I think a wall episode that takes place outside the wall did it a lot of justice, and focusing on Cherie was nice because I actually like Cherie even if she’s a wall person. This ep even made me like the Duke, our ace kind...rip. Over all the fact that this ep made me even care gives it a leg up on the Lake House. 7th out of 8.

8- The Solar Opposites Almost Get An Xbox

Now this one is kinda hard for me to talk about. I’m pretty mixed on it. I feel it did somethings REALLY well and fun, and others moments dropped the ball. I know I’m a dumb tervo and I have no rights but I would’ve been nice to have gotten even a small scene of Korvo and Terry reflecting on their relationship with each other now that they’re dying. Like some kinda of moment of them almost confessing or something idk, it would’ve been nice. I did really like them running around trying to find fulfillment only to realize they need fulfillment with each other. The scene between Korvo and Jesse was really nice and I really liked it BUT it felt like it came too late and was shoehorned in there. It was weird for them to get so serious at the very end of the episode at the very end of the season. As much as I enjoyed it I feel it kinda brings the show down, like it’s trying to be something it’s not rather then playing to strengths. I think this show CAN have big emotional scenes but they have to be EARNED not just thrown in at the very end, it just weaks. Other then that....every scene with Aisha was amazing, I love her and I love Tiffany Haddish please keep putting her in this show. Overall decent ep but didn’t hit me like some of the others did 6th out of 8.

I liked this season a lot, and I look forward to season 3 and the holiday special. I know both season 1 and 2 where written before season 1′s release so I think it will be interesting to see how the writers take these characters now that they have fans perspective on them. No matter what happens I still like this show and I plan to keep drawing over the top mushy tervo and family fanart.

Thanks for reading my overly written rant!

[qwertyfingers]

we know that bobby only watched ds9 and dean watched the tos movies for sure which implies he's seen tos as well (plus he calls jack spock). so what do you think everyone's favorite trek is? sam is without a doubt a tng fan first and foremost. i think out of all tos movies cas prefers the wrath of khan because he Feels Things when kirk and spock do the ta'al through the glass. charlie has definitely seen some trek (we've seen her llap), do you think she's into tos first and foremost? anyway let's talk about star trek nights in the bunker.

OKAY SO I HAVE. MANY MANY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS. SORRY THIS IS SO LONG.

like. like of COURSE bobby only likes ds9 of course he does i could have told you this without the show becuase like. bobby is That Bitch. i think rufus will have watched TOS at least because leonard nimoy worked hard on linking jewish faith and practices into the vulcan lore and i think that would mean something to him. bobby will catch rufus smiling at him sometimes while they’re watching ds9 and ask him what all gruffly and rufus will smirk at him and say something about sisko with jake and bobby with dean and bobby will just cough and take a swig of whiskey and rufus will raise his eyebrows but let it slide. rufus definitely makes a comment once about dean&cas being like jake&nog that totally flies over dean’s head but bobby is all knowing eyebrow raise about.

i think cas and jack would really like discovery. while it has some issues with inconsistency, pacing, being a little dark, it also does better than the other TV treks at utilising the nature of film as a medium to instill a sense of wonder, at space and the world, and that’s something they’d really appreciate. i have my own issues with disco, but an obol for charon is as close to the central core of trek that disco ever gets. cas and jack also like that one in particular because they like listening to all the different languages being spoken. they all love michael (everyone loves michael). cas’ faves are stamets and reno because they’re mean and gay, jack’s fave is tilly because she’s excitable and bright and he latches onto that. dean likes reno because she’s got spunk. sam’s fave is airiam and he will never forgive them for killing her off. sam, cas and dean all feel an uncomfortable kinship with both ash and culber - they’ve both been the one with monster teeming under the surface, controleld by something not themself, but they’ve also all spent that time in hell/purgatory, separated from everyone they love.

thinking about episodes that would really get to them all, darmok is. THE ONE. i have a whole unfinished essay about darmok as the platonic ideal of star trek; the perfect distillation of everything trek is SUPPOSED to be about. it doens’t always get there but by god it tries! that speech michael gives in the disco s2 finale - “There's a whole galaxy of people out there who will reach for you. You have to let them. Find that person who seems farthest from you and reach for them.” - that’s what darmok is about!!! it’s all about a situation where real communication seems impossible, where everything we know about talking and learning has broken down. and picard says, okay, i will find another way. i can’t relate to you, you can’t relate to me, but by god i’m going to try. we all meet people we have trouble communicating with in our lives, and often, those people will not care about changing their own ways to accommodate us. for people with autism, adhd, psychosis, the list goes on, this is a very common occurrence. it’s exhausting and frustrating and alienating. darmok is all about crossing that barrier. about reaching for someone through a world of difficulty and learning how to talk. learning how to share something with someone who seems out of our reach. it’s beautiful, it’s heartwrenching, it means more to me than i can easily put into words! 

anyway i think the bunker fam would experience a lot of emotions watching it together. there’s defintiely a lot of hugging eachother, sam cries a lot and won’t look at anyone until after the episode ends. jack just asks a lot of questions and talks about his progress learning sign language with cas. dean snakes his hand into cas’ halfway through and doesn’t let go. doesn’t show the emotion on his face, but he clutches harder at the emotional beats. cas runs his fingers through jack’s hair and thinks a lot, and decides not to say anything unless dean talks first. its just a Lot for everyone. 

dean def makes them marathon all the TOS and TNG movies. it’s an experience everyone needs at least once. i think you’re right about cas and TWOK with the ta’al through the glass, but also ‘this simple feeling’ and the hand hold would make him feel crazy. bones being the one that spock entrusts with his katra DEF makes dean feel some type of way because as much as destiel is kirkspock-coded, dean IS bones, and seeing spock trust bones so completely despite how at odds they were when they first knew eachother would dig deep into dean’s psyche and make him more than a little bit nutso. the movies are way too long for jack so he mostly sits and plays animal crossing while they watch and looks at the screen when everyone else gasps or when something exciting is happening that holds his attention for a while. sam’s fave is nemesis precisely because it’s terrible and he loves how camp it is.

dean has definitely seen all of trek. i refuse to believe someone who watches as much tv and films as dean wouldn’t sit and watch the whole shebang. i think he’s probably seen TOS and the TOS movies more than the others because its easier than sitting through 7 seasons, but i think rather than that being his favourite he’d just have really strong opinions about the best episodes of each one? like if you asked him what his favourite is he’d say you can’t answer that because they’re all so different from eachother

VOY - bride of chaotica, non seqitur, macrocosm for the favourite episodes. seven, janeway and tuvok would be his favourite characters. he think toms a bit of a knob but also feels a kinship with him for the similar brand of bab dad-ism but he wouldn’t be able to put that into words. he’s also a fierce defender of threshold being a good episode (he’s right for that)

DS9 - our man bashir it’s our man bashir. he doesn’t dislike ds9 but its very plot heavy and he didn’t care for it when he was younger. rewatching it after living through multiple supernatural wars he’d probably appreciate it more. i know for a fact he cries every time there’s an episode about sisko being a good dad. jadzia and garak are his faves

TNG - he LOVES q. he also absolutely will not be caught dead referencing how much loves q after cas comes into his life because sam will do the little brotherly knowing eyebrow raise at him and he will die of embarrassment. he regularly references ‘there are four lights’ because he’s a fucking nerd. he has made cas watch elementary my dear data and fistful of datas a half dozen times each at LEAST. cas KNEW how dean was going to be about the cowboy hat he’s defintiely got into full cowboy getup at home just for watching movies and in cas’ head star trek is fully to blame.

TOS - oh there are so many good TOS eps to choose from. obv he loves most of the series becuase TOS has MANY banger eps, his favourites are probably like. mirror mirror, amok time (baby dean defintiely had some kind of crisis watching it for the first time; i know the rituals are intricate). i know deep in my bones that dean watched the conscience of the king (introduction of the tarsus iv massacre) once and then spent his entire teenage years writing fic about that in his head, whether he posted it or not. dean related too much to those experiences of shared hunger. city on the edge of forever is one of everyone’s faves for a reason (and i’m STILL mad we never got a closer take on that episode in spn it could have been so fun). 

ENT - he definitely thinks enterprise is stupid and he’s not wrong but he has also definitely watched it and been very repressed about the whole thing. mans was like oh i feel a kinship with malcolm reed the obviously repressed queer man. i will never examine this feeling ever again thank you <3 he also makes fun of archer for being obsessed with, of all sports, water polo. shran is his favourite character because he’s a little shit and makes him laugh, and t’pol, because t’pol is a badass and he’d appreciate that. i can’t remember the title of a single episode off the top of my head though lol.

i can see what you’re saying about sam being a TNG stan. i’m conflicted though, I feel like TNG’s generally the favourite of 1) obnoxious nerds who think knowing trivia facts makes them smart, 2) men desperately trying to seem masculine and 3) people who’ve watched it three times and have extremely complex thoughts on the personhood and rights of robots. i could see sam fitting into the third group, but people who are in it for the robot feelings are a coin flip between voyager and tng being the fave, and i just have a feeling that voyager would be his favourite. i know kid sam is getting gender envy watching voyager in shitty motels while dad and dean are out, trying to find the words for it. his first semester at stanford he talks a friend into giving him the janeway haircut and rides that high for months. sam’s favourite characters are seven and EMH. 

sam and dean have definitely had dozens of long drawn out debates about philosophical topics in star trek. do the holograms deserve rights and if so which ones. are the romulans and vulcans still meaningfully the same people. was spock right for trying to foment reunification by going undercover on romulus. can the borg be redeemed. etc etc.

i haven’t seen any of picard at all so i can’t comment. i also think sam and dean probably read a lot of the trek books? they’re pretty common to find in secondhand bookstores and cheap, would have been even cheaper back in the day. sam probably doesn’t care for them much, dean has a few solid faves though. i’ve only read the disco books so i can’t comment anything specifically (besides the fact that i think dean read dead endless and cried like a baby), but some of the TOS and DS9 books are gay as hell and i know dean was eyes emoji-ing that shit. 

[tear-stained-blankie]

Free de la Hoya for the ask game, i think he's neat

Hi Mati! I think he's neat too, and I don't talk about him enough, so no promises this won't be long efrghhbg. I'm sorry 💗

How I feel about this character: Free is precious. I love his brutal honesty, I love how daring he is (this man spun his beyblade WITH HIS HAND in his first match with Valt AND WON!!!) And I love how he left BC Soul for literal months and he came back and the first thing he asked was, 'hey, you guys got anything to eat?' asdfwfeggbbbbb

All the people I ship romantically with this character: I think he and Lui would be a good match, they're cute together.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: I like that he and Valt have kind of a friendship going on now. Aiger and him would be cool together (but at the same time, Aiger is very loud and energetic and Free is very quiet, so if they're both comfy then it's fine.) Those two are my babies, I just want the best for them.

My unpopular opinion about this character: Free is autistic, that's not a question, it's a statement xD. Free acts just like me in a lot of cases, his monotone voice, his intense fixation on succeeding and getting better at his special interest, him accidentally hurting people's feelings with his honesty, he is so neurodivergent coded, I love him.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: I really wish he was canocally autistic. He is one of the best reps of the autism community I've ever seen. He's a cute character, he's funny, he's sweet, he has a lot of good qualities. I just, I want to see him stim, I want to see him have a meltdown because very few shows show that (heck, none that I know of.) Free is very underrated, maybe I'm just projecting, but I see it.

[millie1536]

A Second Chance

(Edmonton Ladies in Waiting)

Joan could barely contain her excitement as she entered the room. It felt like only yesterday that she had been in a place just like this one. She remembered the mix of fear and excitement that would fill the room each time a potential family came to visit. She remembered the way she and the other kids would pretend to go about their daily activities as if nothing was different as they watched to see who would be adopted.

In fact the room she found herself in was very similar to the room she remembered. It was large and filled with all sorts of toys and games. Oversized cushions and soft blankets surrounded a bookshelf in one corner and a television sat in the other. A large sliding door opened up on to a grass covered backyard. Children ran from one activity to another, talking and laughing as they played. They seemed happy.

Or at least most of them did.

As Joan looked around the room her eyes landed on a young girl sitting in the darkest corner of the room, seemingly trying to hide from everything and everyone. She watched the girl, rocking back and forth, for a few moments before making her way towards her.

“Hi, I’m Joan.” Joan gave the girl a warm smile. “What’s your name?”

“Elizabeth Blount.” The girl answered, looking at Joan with a blank expression.

Blount

Joan was sure she’d heard that name before.

“Are you here to adopt someone?” Joan’s thoughts were interrupted by the young girl.

“Yes, actually.” Joan smiled again at the girl.

“Well,” Elizabeth said, eyes scanning the room before she pointed to girl of about 12, “That’s Sophie, she’s really smart and wants to be a neuroscientist when she grows up.” Elizabeth paused before pointing at another child, “And that’s Kieran, he wants to be a video game designer. Over there, that’s Cara she’s a really good artist and she really likes dragons and draws them a lot. That one over there is Ruby, she want’s to be a vet when she’s older. She used to live on a farm before she came here and she said that the first thing she’s going to do when she gets out of here is get her horse back. James want’s to be a cricketer, sometimes when it’s raining and we’re not allowed outside he throws his cricket ball at me. He says it’s because I’m not active enough and he’s trying to help me. Oh, and that’s-“

“What about you?” Joan asked suddenly.

“What about me?” Elizabeth asked, rocking forward with more force than before and smiling when her back hit the wall as she rocked backwards.

“Well, you’ve been telling me about everyone else, what about you?” Joan rephrased the question. Elizabeth thought for a moment before answering.

“I’m going to age out the system and then…” Elizabeth shrugged, “I don’t know.”

“Why are you going to age out the system? Do you not want to be adopted?”

“No one wants a retard. People send their kids here because they’re like me. No one’s going to choose to have a spastic kid.” Elizabeth told her as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. In that moment Joan wanted nothing more than to scoop the girl into her arms and shield her from the world.

 “Elizabeth Blount?” Maude, the woman who ran the home, asked hesitantly, “Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure.” Joan said firmly.

“It’s just that Elizabeth has a few… uh… special needs.” Maude said, as if speaking in code.

“That doesn’t mean she shouldn’t have a chance at a family.” Joan responded. She had made up her mind and there was nothing that would change that, “I’m sure it would be helpful for both Elizabeth and I if you expanded on her ‘special needs’ but if you don’t wish to disclose any of the information you alluded to then we’ll just have to work it out along the way.” Maude sat there, clearly taken aback but Joan’s abruptness.

“Elizabeth was diagnosed with Autism at age four, last year she was diagnosed with Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder. She also suffers from nightmares and possible PTSD; however she’s never opened up enough for anyone to properly diagnose her.” Joan couldn’t help but feel as though she were at a funeral. The way Maude spoke about the young girl made it sound more like a eulogy than anything else. “She’s a handful.” Maude added.

“Well it’s a good thing I have two hands.”

 It was decided that the transition would be easier for Elizabeth, or Bessie as she preferred to be called, if she got to know Joan a bit better before the adoption was finalised and so over the next few weeks Joan returned to the home.

“What would you like to do today?” Joan asked the dark haired girl.

“I don’t know.” Bessie shrugged, “It’s raining so we can’t really go anywhere.” The two sat in silence for a moment before a sudden burst of laughter from across the room caused Bessie to flinch.

“Is there somewhere quieter you’d like to go?” Joan asked, sensing the girl’s discomfort.

“I mean, everyone’s down here so my room’s probably empty but you don’t have to go up there if you don’t want to. We aren’t actually allowed upstairs during the day.”

“How about we head up there for a bit and if you want to come back down here then we will?” Bessie thought for a moment before nodding. She seemed to do that a lot, Joan noticed, the girl almost always thought about her response as if trying to work out if it was the correct answer.

Bessie led Joan upstairs to the bedroom she shared with four other girls. Joan followed Bessie as she made her way over to the bed furthest from the door.

“Well, this is it.” She said plopping down on the bare mattress. Joan looked around and saw that the other four beds all had sheets and blankets and was about to ask Bessie why her bed was bare when she noticed a pile of blankets in the corner a metre or so from the bed. “That’s my nest.” Bessie announced when she saw Joan looking at the pile.

“It looks very cosy.” Joan said.

“It is,” Bessie grinned, “Do you want to sit in it? It’s really warm and soft. I like to curl up in it at night and hide.”

“Who are you hiding from?” Bessie just shrugged again.

“No one in particular. I just like hiding.” Joan noticed that Bessie seemed far happier to talk now that it was just the two of them.

“So, Bessie, what do you like?” Joan asked in an attempt to get to know the girl.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, what do you enjoy doing? What’s your favourite food? Do you have a favourite animal? That kind of thing.” Joan clarified.

“Oh, okay.” Bessie nodded, “I like hiding, wait I already said that. Um, I like animals because they don’t judge you for stupid things they only care that you’re nice and don’t hurt them. I like reading because it’s like I get to go an adventures and make friends and stuff but I can do it somewhere quiet and no one interrupts me. Colouring and drawing is fun, I like making patterns. What was the other question? Oh, yeah, favourite food. I don’t really have one, I don’t really like eating because sometimes it hurts and it makes me feel sick.”

“Are there any foods that don’t hurt?” Joan asked the girl, she wanted to be sure that Bessie would eat if Joan adopted her.

“I think so,” Bessie nodded slowly, “But I can’t remember which ones. I’m sorry.”

“That’s okay.” Joan assured her, “We can work it out together.”

“You mean…” Bessie looked up at Joan with big eyes.

“I would like to adopt you, Bessie.” Joan smiled when Bessie’s face lit up.

“Really? But why me? Why not one of the normal kids?” Bessie’s face fell a little.

“Because you are a sweet kid and I want to give you all the opportunities my mum gave me.” Bessie tilted her head slightly and so Joan continued, “I was adopted when I was a year or two younger than you are. I want to do for you everything my mum did for me. I want to give you home that you feel safe in and that doesn’t overwhelm you with noise and people. What do you think?”

“What do I think?” Bessie repeated the question.

“Yeah, would you like to come live with me? You’ll have your own room and we can build you nest of whatever size you want.”

“I’d like that.” Bessie smiled, a small laugh escaping her, “I’d really like that.”

 Joan groaned when she heard her phone ring. She was already running late and she really didn’t have the patience to deal with anymore telemarketers that morning.

“Hello?” Joan said as she positioned the pone between her head and her shoulder.

“Hey, Joey, how are you sweetheart?”

“I’m fine mum.” Joan replied as she started the car, “Look, mum, I can’t really talk right now.”

“Oh, is something the matter? Are you alright?”

“No, I’m fine.” Joan laughed a little at the way her mum’s voice reverted back to the one she used to use when Joan was sick as a child. “I’m picking Bessie up today.”

“Is that today? I thought it was next week. I’m sorry Joey, I’ll be right over.”

“Wait, mum. I know you’re excited to meet her but I think it might be best if it’s just me and Bessie for the first couple of days, I don’t want her getting overwhelmed with too many new things at once.” Joan bit her lip hoping that her mum would understand.

“Right, of course. Sorry. Well tell Bessie I say hi and that I’m looking forward to meeting her.”

“Alright, I will.”

“Okay. Bye, love.”

“See ya.” Joan sighed as she hung up the phone. She loved her mother but sometimes she was a bit too excitable.

As Joan pulled up in front of the home she breathed a sigh of relief.

“Two minutes to spare.” She said, looking down at the clock. Deciding that it wouldn’t be a terrible idea to be a tiny bit early Joan got out of the car and headed inside.

“Joan!” Bessie waved from where she was sitting on the second step of the staircase.

“Were you watching the door?” Joan asked, giving the girl’s hand a squeeze.

“Yep, you’re one minute and 25 seconds early.” Bessie informed her.

“Am I?” Joan asked, looking down at her watch, “In that case I should probably go wait in the car for a minute or so.” Joan said as she turned away only for Bessie to grab hold of her arm and pull her down to sit beside her.

“You’re not that early.” Bessie said through a fit of giggles as she gave Joan’s hand a tight squeeze. Bessie wasn’t particularly fond of people touching her and she very rarely allowed anyone to hug her. The first time Bessie had given Joan’s hand a squeeze Joan had been a little confused.

 “It’s like a hug,” Bessie had said, “But it doesn’t make my skin burn.”

“That’s very clever.” Joan had told the girl who smiled proudly.

“Sometimes I like hugs but most of the time it makes my skin feel like it’s on fire. Sorry.”

“Hey,” Joan had said, “Don’t ever apologise for not liking something. I just want you to be happy and safe,” then as an after thought she had added, “And you know what? It’s not the physical contact that makes hugs special. It’s the person you’re hugging.” Joan vividly remembered the way Bessie’s face had lit up when she squeezed her hand back.

 “Are you excited?” Joan asked Bessie as she settled herself on the step.

“Yeah,” Bessie nodded, “But I’m also scared.” She admitted the last bit quietly.

“Would you like to watch the video again?” Joan asked. She had made a video tour of her house for Bessie so that she wouldn’t feel like she was going in blind.

“Yes please.” Joan got her phone out of her pocket and set of the video. It started at the front door, then went into the office, then the lounge room, followed by the kitchen and finally the bathroom. Afterwards it went upstairs and showed the three bedrooms, Joan’s room and two spares. Joan had told Bessie that she could choose which of the rooms she wanted and she had chosen the bigger of the two that also happened to share a wall with Joan’s room. The room was a simple guest room but Joan had promised that Bessie could decorate it however she liked.

“Can I get a loft bed?” Bessie asked once the video had finished, “That way I can hang up blankets and make a cave underneath it.”

“That sounds like a wonderful idea.” Joan agreed, “And you know, there’s this really big tree in the backyard that would be perfect for a treehouse.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“I’ve always wanted a treehouse.” Bessie said excitedly.

“Me too, but we didn’t have any big enough trees where I grew up.”

“Can we build it together?” Bessie asked, “I mean I get if you’d rather just buy on and have someone put it in, it’s probably quicker and safer and-“

“I’d love to build a treehouse with you.” Joan told her.

 “Alright, last one.” Joan said as she turned to the final page, “You ready, Bessie?”

“I’m ready.” Bessie nodded. She watched closely as Joan signed the last form.

“Well, that’s it. You’re stuck with me now.” Joan laughed as Bessie jumped around the room with excitement.

“I think it might be the other way around.” Maude muttered, just loud enough for Joan to hear.

“Alright, Bessie, why don’t you go get your bag and I’ll meet you at the front door in a minute.” Joan waited for Bessie’s footsteps to disappear up the stairs before turning to Maude, “Listen, I get that she probably wasn’t the easiest kid to have here but that’s not her fault. Surely you’ve noticed the way the kids treat her and how uncomfortable she is around them, if you had allowed her to stay upstairs instead of forcing her to be with everyone else-“

“I can’t just go around making different rules for different people.” Maude said, “If I had let her stay in her room then everyone else would have wanted to stay upstairs. The children are required to stay downstairs for supervision purposes. There are plenty of quiet corners for them to retreat to if they want to be alone. Kids need to learn that sometimes in life you have to do things you don’t want to do.”

“They also need to learn that not everyone has the same needs.” Joan said calmly, “This isn’t a case of Bessie being shy. Her brain doesn’t process sensory input like other people’s do.”

“You’ve know the girl for a month, how would you know what her brain can and can’t do?” Maude rolled her eyes.

“Because I’m a paediatrician, It’s my job to know.” Joan said, turning and leaving the room.

“What was that about?” Bessie asked when Joan met her on the front stoop.

“I just needed to have a quick word with Maude.”

“About me?” Bessie asked nervously.

“Yes,” Joan had made a promise to herself that she would be truthful with Bessie, “I didn’t like the way she spoke to you, or about you for that matter.”

“What did she say?” Bessie wasn’t sure she wanted to know the answer.

“It wasn’t so much what she said,” Joan told her as they walked to the car, “More how she said it.” Joan sighed before kneeling down so she was eye level with Bessie, “Bessie, I need you to listen to me and understand that no matter what anyone says to you, no matter how they treat you, you are an incredible person, alright?” Bessie nodded sadly.

“It’s because I’m autistic isn’t it? That’s why people treat me like that.”

“No,” Joan shook her head, “People do what they do because they don’t understand. They don’t understand that you’re brain processes information differently to theirs and sometimes people lash out when they don’t understand something.”

“Because they’re scared?”

“Exactly, people fear what they don’t understand.” Joan confirmed, “But like I said, you are an amazing kid and nothing that anyone says is going to change that.” Bessie smiled wides as she wiped her eyes on her sleeve, “I think it’s time to go home, what do you think?” Joan smiled back.

“Yeah, let’s go home.”

@upsettimyspagetthi

[cometcrystal]

@autisticdykepadme replied to your post:ik it’s kinda expensive but i honestly feel really...

Hey sorry I’m just going through your autism tag and I saw this, and I was wondering what company you bought your weighted blanket from? Because I’ve wanted one for a while too but there’s so many different companies…

i got mine from mosaic weighted blankets! they’re on the medium/high price range but i was treating myself with it since i got a bonus from work and was able to. i haven’t gotten it in the mail yet since i just ordered it a few days ago, so i can’t speak on the quality firsthand, but i’ve only heard good things!

also i used the coupon code AFTERPAYDAY which gave me 20% off which was a BIG help. i found the code on a coupon website and idk if it’s expired but if you look up “mosaic weighted blankets coupon codes” on google you should be able to find something. i got a 15lb twin size, and paid $160

there’s other companies that are also very good like gravity, luna, and baloo, but they don’t offer very many colors or patterns; usually just gray or a couple other solid options. i wanted a pattern on mine, and i know mosaic and sensacalm have some really nice patterns to pick from! but if that’s not important to you (i’m a visual person LOL) the ones that only offer one color option are really high-quality as well

if you’re on a budget and can’t afford $120-$200-ish for a blanket (which is totally understandable), i got my old 12 pound one from target for about $40 online. i know walmart and target both sell them online for prices that work more on a budget, and amazon does, too, if you can’t find one on walmart or target that works for you! 

and i think the blanket at target was $50 or $60 in-store idk why it was cheaper online but it was so i’d look online first

[astargatelover]

Watching The da Vinci Code for the first time - A documentation

-  About to watch The da Vinci Code for the first time. It’s about 3AM. Back of the DVD says the movie’s almost 2h30 long. Will approximately be going to bed at about 6AM. I gotta be crazy.

- Back of the DVD also says (translated from German): In the middle of the night the (…) is (…) Langdon (TOM HANKS) in the (…) director was murdered. His (?) (…) that of the Vitruvian Man (…) is the first horrible clue (…) and symbols. At the risk of his life (something something) Langdon – and from then on it’s a normal description, it’s just that that part is obscured by the library stamp. So I can confidently say I totally know what’s going on in this movie! *serious nod*

- Third highlight of the back of the DVD: Ian McKellen, grumpy-looking monk dude and a guy looking like Palpatine. And the Louvre.

- Also in the movie: Some German I don’t know (but yay!) and Paul Bettany. He’s cool; I really liked him in A Knight’s Tale.

- Let’s get this show on the road!

- …gotta update my media player. One sec!

- There we go. …where’s the always-on-top button? Ah, found it! Light’s off in my room; cinema time.

- Music’s already nice in the menu.

- Audio: English. (More nice music.) Subtitles: (Hey, they have Turkish on offer!) Off.

- (They even have subtitles for the trailers. But no extras. Am miffed. What kind of bare-bones DVD is this?!)

- 20 minutes after the first “about” up there: Play movie.

- Fancy title cards.

- Dude running. He’s gonna die; I know that much.

- Paul!

- *sigh*

- Oooooh, it’s Robert. That’s a lot of applause.

- (Btw, in case you didn’t know: I have watched Angels & Demons because I love Ernesto Olivetti a crazy amount.)

- I like Robert. Awesome presentation.

- Also like Tom Hanks. He’s great.

- Accents, y’all.

- Latin? Latin. Italian? No, definitely Latin.

- Ouch. Self-flagellation. Ooooooouch. Some religious people are crazy.

- Dude, you can barely stand. I’m a sadist and I don’t want you doing that to you.

- We’re only 10 minutes in, my goodness.

- Claustrophobia! I relate to that.

- Just let the dude take the stairs.

- Wow.

- Priests.

- Have I mentioned I’m not a big fan of catholics? Nothing personal.

- Also: Autistic Langdon, symbology special interest.

- French.

- Sophie! Heard of her.

- Strange happenings.

- Oooooooooh.

- French lady. I don’t speak French.

- *window jump scare*

- We don’t trust the police guy.

- Conspiracies!

- Fuck.

- “Once he starts, he doesn’t stop.” He’s like Javert.

- Climb out the window?

- More French.

- Oooooooh! They’re so tricking them, aren’t they? They’re not dumb.

- Bye bye!

- I’m sorry for Sophie.

- (I saw that part where her grandfather got shot years ago.)

- Here we go with the anagrams.

- Eidetic memory (pretty much) - firms up my autism headcanon.

- Can you even get that close to the Mona Lisa irl?

- Tom Hanks has a really nice nose. xD

- Langdon’s so good with anagrams.

- It’s like a scavenger hunt.

- Ooh, Musketeer symbol.

- Chase music!

- Flashback with crazy meetings.

- A smart! I get to bop someone now.

- Ooh, Les Mis.

- Backwards! That’s impressive.

- She’s so gonna make it.

- She made it!

- Bye bye, mirror.

- Paul’s looking angry.

- Someone got stabbed. I sense guilt.

- More dead people.

- Holy water.

- A nun.

- A rose line.

- Is he gonna kill her? She seems nervous.

- MORE FRENCH.

- Red light zone.

- (It’s raining outside. Kinda sets the mood.)

- You stay away from that dude, nun.

- Saving a junkie?

- (Sophie’s a really nice name, btw.)

- He rambles when he gets the chance so much. Really reminds me of special interests. (And in case anyone takes issue with that, I should know. I’m autistic. I have them.)

- My parents just watched Knightfall. Now I know some about the templars’ fall.

- Sophie didn’t know they were supposed to protect the Holy Grail? Really? Huh.

- Moooooore French.

- Please don’t die, nun.

- That’s some scar under his eye.

- Those look like some anger issues.

- It’s the grumpy-looking monk dude.

- Seriously, I understand more Latin than French.

-  “Blood is being spilled” as he’s spilling wine, that’s great.

- Freeeeeeeeeench.

- “I don’t think he liked me very much. He once made a joke at my expense.” I relate to this guy so hard on the autism level.

- It’s the German dude.

- That’s some system they’ve got at that bank.

- You call that a rose?

- I’m with Langdon here. Safe passage?

- Aww, poor guy. I’ve got claustrophobia, too, and I haven’t even got a traumatizing event behind me. (I read that somewhere.)

- I like the driver.

- A lot. Nice one with the watch.

- Langdon, you look sick. Please don’t die, y’all.

- JESUS CHRIST.

- Poor Sophie. </3 Woah.

- How tf did that truck get there?

- That bullet. Smaaart move. *thumbs up*

- Ouch.

- Bye bye again.

- Do I like the police captain? I don’t know.

- The tea convo. xD

- Is Langdon like this in the books? I hope he is.

- How old is Sophie? *googles Audrey Tatou* (Ooh, Amélie!) *checks when movie was made* ‘bout 30.

- Yaaaaaas, Ian.

- Also please don’t die.

- (Both my faves in Angels & Demons die. I’m vorbelastet and can’t find a good English word for that.)

- Jesus was cool.

- Those helmets. Feathers!

- “Not even his nephew twice removed.” xDDD

- Is that paisley? *googles* It is. Nice!

- Just in case you’re wondering, I am typing this as I watch the movie. I’m not saying I’m not missing anything, but I like multitasking.

- *googles The last Supper* Wow, no cup.

- Genital symbols.

- Wombs open towards the ground, though. People with them aren’t constantly doing handstands.

- Have I mentioned one of my favorite movies is Dogma, which postulates that Jesus had siblings? I’m liking this conversation.

- “Companion meant spouse.” My gay ass likes this.

- If that is Mary Magdalene, though, which apostle is missing? Been wondering this for years.

- Scions. I like this.

- I’m all for sex positivity.

- Your time’s kinda running out, guys.

- Almost halfway through, now.

- Do you seriously believe they’re murderers?

- Why do you wear your police thingies like a blind man’s band?

- Was overall expecting a bit more running in this movie, I guess.

- Poor Sophie. This is a lot to take in.

- Beating someone up with crutches! Yas!

- Like, ouch.

- Do you happen to have a secret passage under your house? Would come in real handy.

- Oh, Zürich! Man, accents. Barely understood that.

- Frehehench.

- In my personal experience claustrophobic people aren’t generally fans of planes. That might just be me, though.

- Still don’t know Paul’s character’s name.

- We are leaving the country.

- That haircut. On the dude with the grumpy-looking monk.

- Does Jesus having a family beside his parents somehow make him less holy? *shrug*

- FRENCH.

- Police brutality?

- “Please”? Seriously? I understood that much and you’re a dick.

- This is, like, some Order of the White Lotus stuff.

- You need a mirror? You can’t read it otherwise? Huh. Well, I guess it’s just easier.

- I really like Lee.

- How many more ways can I angrily write French? (I don’t have anything against the language per se. I just don’t understand what they’re saying and that irks me. There aren’t even subtitles for that. I feel like there are supposed to be subtitles.)

- (It is nice, however, that they’re sticking to the languages they’d actually be speaking. I wonder if it’s all German in German.)

- Yo, police. Be more subtle. You could have laid a trap.

- “You can start with him.” Hm! xD

- “I could run them over.” !! Man, this is great.

- This is like a fucking magic trick.

- You know what, I wanna watch that again.

- The DVD did not like that, so now I get to look at the “pick scene” menu. At least there’s more nice music.

- Just out of curiosity… *checks* There are 24 chapters and I’m at the 16th.

- I can understand more French when I concentrate on it, but I’ve been too annoyed about it so far.

- Never had French at school, btw. But have a bit of a talent for languages. When it comes to those I can sometimes cobble meaning together from context and existing knowledge.

- “The French cannot be trusted”, sounds so ominous.

- As a fan of Angels & Demons, I am very interested in what the Vatican has to say about all this.

- Told ya we don’t like planes.

- Naww, Sophie. Arm pat, yas.

- How do you accidentally fall into a well feet first? Hmm…

- Saved by pigeons, wow.

- Paul’s eyes are super blue.

- Is he gonna get killed?

- What an old-ass phone.

- I’m worried about that newspaper.

- How they’re keeping the identity of the teacher secret is A+, shooting-wise.

- “Your identity shall go with me to the grave.” Did he know he was gonna die?

- Nice one!

- Is the second movie this long? *checks* Not quite.

- Seriously. Unnaturally blue eyes.

- Shoot-out.

- I can kinda see where Lee’s coming from. Don’t agree with the method, but…

- Did a shoulder-shot really kill him?

- See? Nope.

- I think I do kinda like the police captain.

- Have I mentioned my attraction to side characters?

- Oh, that tiny wound on her neck. I like the attention to detail.

- And those stained glass windows! Pretty.

- His mind! Wow.

- I wanna see this scene without music and special effects, though, to see what Sophie and Lee see. Must be pretty weird. xD

- Dramatic musiiiiic.

- Police captain coming through! Yas.

- Robert’s like “What is happening?”

- Man, those poor policemen with the screaming dude in the back of the car.

- Can’t resist a challenge, can you?

- It’s hecking dark behind that doorway.

- Can they get away with getting rid of all the villains half an hour before the movie’s over?

- Now she’s all Ghost Whisperer-like.

- I like the way it sounds when she calls him Robert.

- (Doing some more googling. Ah, it’s Leigh. I see.)

- Who are these guys? Something bad’s happening.

- Flashbacks and MORE FRENCH.

- Wonder if Robert and Sophie use the formal you in German. It wouldn’t fit.

- Sophie’s world is kinda falling apart.

- (She’s like Bethany in Dogma. Don’t know if anyone here even knows Dogma, but I love it.)

- Family reunion! Who put those onions here?

- See? Robert and I agree. Why should a family make Jesus less holy?

- I really like this friendship. I hope they’ll meet again.

- Checking if she can walk on water. xD

- Hey, it’s the Eiffel tower! And it’s playing light house.

- Blood.

- What? What is it?

- Wow.

- This music is real nice.

- 7 minutes of credits.

- Again, though: The music is nice.

[lonelier-version-of-you]

“a terrible old narcissist’s power struggle”, or: some thoughts on the Implications of how Mr. Clarke labels Henrik in Black Dog, and how they relate to Henrik’s autism

Obligatory preface: I’m going to make some assertions about autism in this post that are considered controversial these days. Obviously, I can’t speak for all autistic people, etc. etc. when I say “we” in this post, I mean myself and Henrik more than anything. 😆

One thing I’ve always found interesting with regard to Henrik’s autistic coding, something a lot of people seem to have overlooked, is the assertions former psychiatrist Jerry Clarke makes about him near the beginning of Black Dog - especially given the theme most of the episode is “Mr. Clarke is actually right, just being a dick about it”.

Mr. Clarke [on the rift between Henrik and Tristan Wood that Jasmine is at the centre of]: Poor girl [Jasmine]. Caught up in a terrible old narcissist’s power struggle.

Henrik: Psychiatrists, always leaping to a clinical observation.

Mr. Clarke: Acute lack of empathy. Borderline sociopathic need for immediate and total obedience. Physical signs of psychomotor agitation indicating barely repressed depressive tendencies.

Henrik: Tristan Wood has many interesting qualities, but he’s never struck me as depressive.

Mr. Clarke: I wasn’t talking about him.

Now, it’s admittedly arguable whether Henrik was the subject of the ‘narcissist’ remark, or if Mr. Clarke was actually talking about Tristan at first and switched to talking about Henrik after the ‘clinical observation’ comment. (The official subtitles have the first line as “narcissists’ power struggle”, in which case Mr. Clarke would be talking about both of them, anyway, but they also spell Johansson as Johannsen so like. Probably not the best source.) For the sake of this post, let’s assume the former.

The last part - Henrik’s ‘depressive tendencies’ - are the main focus of the episode, but the lack of empathy and supposed narcissism/sociopathy don’t get mentioned again. So if the show wouldn’t delve into that, I’ll have to.

Henrik being a person who struggles to empathise with others isn’t exactly a subtle aspect of his character. One example that comes to mind is in Never Let Me Go, when he reacts atypically to a patient with memory loss who’s forgotten his own identity: despite the patient’s obvious distress, and everyone else (Maja, Chantelle, et cetera) feeling sorry for him, Henrik doesn’t Get It at all, even expressing envy for this patient just because he thinks it would be nice to have a chance to start over like that. He doesn’t express this in front of the patient, understanding that it would be rude, but in surgery and in his office, when the patient is unconscious or not there respectively, he does.

Maja: But [the patient]’s so lost. He’s alone in the world. You must feel... something?

Henrik: Not particularly.

Another example, leaning more towards the cognitive empathy/theory of mind side of things, is in Second Coming, wherein he keeps trying to talk Ric into having that surgery and doesn’t understand why Ric is so hesitant or bothered about it because the surgery could fix Ric, so why wouldn’t he want it? (Yes, Henrik also stooped to some terribly manipulative lows during this, but like. Autism and being a bit of a dick can coexist. If that weren’t the case, the autistic community would be much nicer, but I digress.)

This segments easily into the rest of Mr. Clarke’s comments, because problems with empathising and understanding others’ perspectives like this can very easily make someone come across as “narcissistic” or “sociopathic” when they’re not.

First off - Mr. Clarke calls Henrik “borderline sociopathic”. Oh, that only sounds like a reference to a recent VERY POPULAR TV series featuring one of the most famous autistic-coded characters... (I mean, fuck BBC Sherlock and all that, but you can’t deny the similarity to Sherlock’s famous/infamous “high-functioning sociopath” quote is interesting.)

Now, sociopathy hasn’t been a medical term in many years. I’m not sure how old Mr. Clarke is supposed to be, but I can’t imagine he’d even have been practising back when it was! So it’s safe to say he was using the term in its flippant social definition of a master manipulator with no empathy who doesn’t care about anyone. An odd definition, admittedly, because to be a master manipulator one would have to have quite a good grasp on empathy, surely. Cognitive empathy, at the very least. But that’s another post.

The thing here is that the specific reasoning he gives is Henrik’s ‘need for immediate and total obedience’. And, you know, he’s right, that is an issue Henrik has.

But it’s not “sociopathy”. It’s autism. It’s a difficulty with change from what he expects, something he finds incredibly hard to deal with because his brain simply isn’t built for that.

If Mr. Clarke was throwing around terms like “sociopathic”, we can assume he meant “narcissist” in the general social definition sense, too. (Especially as it’s clear upon a quick glance at the criteria for NPD that Henrik comes nowhere near fitting it.) Then, that means he’s implying Henrik thinks only of himself and what he wants.

Once again, he’s not exactly wrong about that, just wrong about the reasoning. See, autistic people can, often, be selfish. But we don’t mean to, it’s not out of malice or self-absorption (the reasons generally associated with narcissism). It’s out of an impaired ability to see perspectives other than our own.

In conclusion: if Mr. Clarke’s assessments of Henrik throughout the episode are intended to be correct, and he was right about the depression and OCD, then where does that leave the “narcissist” and “sociopathic” comments?

It’s simple: They’re misreadings of common autism traits.

Henrik seems like he lacks empathy for others because he does - then combine that with his flat affect, his other social difficulties, etc. etc. and it all means he seems like he doesn’t care about anyone because he doesn’t show that he does in the conventional ways, and that’s why Mr. Clarke perceived him as a sociopath and narcissist.