#I’m sorry I suck

[foreveranevilregal]

The worst part about being depressed and lonely is that I don’t have the energy to reach out to people or put energy into interactions which means that I lose touch with people which means I’m even lonelier which makes me more depressed.

[kendyroy]

THEY’RE MARRIED

[souvlakicocaine]

This is soooo petty and stupid of me and I’d never confess to something like this in real life but I enjoy how almost every single one of the girls whose appearances I envied in secondary school onward have gotten ugly while I grew out of that phase and am now relatively hot

[rendevok]

“Take my hand” a comic for NaruMitsu Week 2023

day 1 - lies & secrets - 2 - 3 - 4

[sunshinesteviee]

I am determined to at least post a blurb today 😤

[naturecalls111]

[kenandeliza]

A random thought / headcanon

Superman learns knitting/sewing, deciding to give an “ugly sweater” to his friends, including captain marvel

He doesn’t make them ugly intentionally, he’s just bad at making designs

[rebornrosess]

happy hozier day to all those who celebrate

[ithinkdogshouldvote]

Terry I love you. You are so weird. WHY do you have a sword????

[shittysawtraps]

when your friend says “i’m becoming the joker,” reply, “well, i’m becoming jigsaw” to one-up them. do not elaborate on what this means

[firehose118]

{ao3}

Tommy wasn’t lying to Hen and Karen when he said they were taking things at Evan’s pace. It’s just that Evan’s preferred pace is far from slow.

It’s like that kiss in the hospital lobby knocked any remaining nerves about Evan’s newfound bisexuality clean out of him. They’d kissed a few times in between their first and that one, but they’d all been quick, chaste things at the ends of dates; closed-mouthed and respectful. Tommy was trying not to push Evan into anything he wasn’t comfortable with. But once Evan threw open those hospital doors, the floodgates on their sex life opened as well.

Evan was all over him every chance he got—lips trailing, tongue tasting, fingers grabbing. He’d given Tommy a blowjob so good it was hard to believe that it was not only his first, but not even something he’d known he wanted a few weeks ago.

Evan was a natural. He was hungry for anything Tommy would give him; no hesitation. He’ll try anything if he thinks it might feel good.

Tommy knows Evan is experienced; far from a blushing virgin, even if he’d never gone to bed with another man before. They’d talked a lot over the last few weeks. Evan had told Tommy about ‘Buck 1.0’ and about some of his more adventurous girlfriends.

So it shouldn’t have been a surprise, really.

Within a week of the wedding, Evan is begging Tommy to fuck him. No exaggeration: begging. Mewls and whines of please Tommy please I wanna feel you I want you inside of me please I know you’ll make it so good in between wet kisses while Tommy covers Evan's body with his own.

And Tommy is only human. He’s trying to go slow, trying to be respectful because he really likes Evan, okay? Not just his body: he likes Evan. But when Evan digs his hands into Tommy's back and pouts his plush pink lips and lets his blue eyes go wide and earnest, Tommy has no choice but to give in to what they clearly both want.

And god, does he want. He wants Evan with a ferocity he hasn’t felt since he first came out, when everything was new and liberating and even the smallest touch was so goddamn good. He wants Evan so bad he can feel it in his teeth.

Jesus, okay. Fine. If Evan doesn’t think it’s too much too soon—if he’s writhing naked under Tommy’s body; spreading his legs wide and pleading for Tommy to give it to him—well, Evan is a grown man. Tommy is gonna take him at his word that he’s ready for this.

Still, he wants to be respectful. He’ll fuck him, but he’s going to be gentle about it. This is Evan’s first time. He wants to make sure Evan knows that Tommy wants him for more than a quick fuck. He wants Evan to feel good. He wants Evan to come back for seconds.

“Yeah, I’ll fuck you,” Tommy says.

Evan moans in delight and surges up for a kiss. Tommy indulges him for a moment, lets Evan kiss him tongue-first and filthy, won’t deny that it gets him so hot he starts to sweat a little, but then he pulls back.

“Settle down, sweet boy,” Tommy hears himself say. “We need to talk a little first.”

He’s never called anyone that before, but it felt so right that he can’t even be embarrassed. Especially when it makes Evan moan and wrap his legs around Tommy’s body to pull their hips flush together.

Their dicks press against each other and Evan starts leaking enough that Tommy thinks maybe Evan would want to just do this; slow down and grind together until they both come. It’s been one of Tommy’s favorite things since he first discovered it a decade ago, the first time he let a man into his bed instead of getting fucked in a bar bathroom or someone’s car.

“Okay,” Evan says into his mouth. “Let’s talk. Whatever you need.”

No, Tommy thinks, whatever you need. This is so you’re comfortable. This is so you’re prepared for what’s about to happen, because it’s very different on the receiving end, and this hole doesn’t work like the one you’re used to.

But what he says is, “Have you ever done anal before?”

Evan smiles, slow and dirty. “Oh yeah. I’ve had a few girlfriends who were into it.”

“Oh,” Tommy says, relieved. He’s not a total novice. He’ll know there needs to be lube involved, lots of stretching. “That’s good. You have some experience at least.”

“Yeah, don’t worry, that was never part of my problem coming to terms with liking guys,” Evan says like he’s the one reassuring Tommy. And then, “The first time a girl brought out a strap-on I wasn’t sure, but I’m so glad I tried it. Maybe that should’ve been a hint that I like guys too? But plenty of straight men like getting fucked by women so maybe it’s unrelated.”

Evan is babbling a little, so Tommy starts licking along his jaw to distract him while he processes what the fuck Evan just said.

Because that is not what Tommy meant when he asked if Evan had done anal before. He’d thought maybe one of Evan’s more adventurous girlfriends had asked him to fuck her ass. Maybe a hookup who knew Evan would be gentle about it. He’d never even considered the possibility that Evan had ever had anything more than a stray finger up his own ass. In Tommy’s experience, most straight guys hadn’t.

Evan has been fucked before. This isn’t new to him. He’d never kissed a guy before Tommy, never been on a date with one, but he’s been fucked. More than once, from the sound of it.

And oh god, that makes Evan's behavior make so much more sense. He's not overeager; diving head-first into something he's never done before. He's experienced. He knows exactly what he's asking for because he's had it before.

Tommy is never underestimating Evan again. He's done making assumptions. Evan is a wonder.

It hits Tommy just how different their journeys with sexuality have been. Tommy would never have been brave enough to ask a woman to fuck him; never would have been secure enough in himself to say yes if she'd offered it. He would have been terrified of what it meant if he'd liked it. He would have known, deep down, exactly why he would have.

But Evan is so open, so willing to try anything he thinks might feel good, no matter what it means about himself. He doesn't deny himself pleasure if no one is getting hurt. It took Tommy so, so long to get anywhere close to that same point. Evan comes by it naturally.

It shouldn’t have been a surprise, really. But it is.

“You liked it?” Tommy asks, just to be absolutely clear.

“Tommy,” Evan says emphatically. “I love getting fucked.”

“God, you’re a fucking dream,” Tommy says, biting a mark into Evan’s neck.

“Are we good?” Evan squirms. “Are we done talking? Can I have your dick now?”

Tommy laughs a little into Evan’s skin. “Yeah, baby, we’re good. You can have anything you want.”

And Tommy finds that he really, really means it.

Within minutes, he’s got Evan gasping and moaning and fucking back onto his fingers like a pro. Because he is. Because he’s done this before and he fucking loves it. He knows what he likes and what he needs. He tells Tommy where to crook his fingers and when he’s ready for another one.

Tommy isn’t going to be able to give this up easily; won’t be able to give Evan up easily. The way Evan’s voice breaks when Tommy brushes his prostate sinks into Tommy’s bones.

The way Evan sighs and smiles, jesus, when Tommy gets his dick inside of him is almost more than Tommy can handle. He has to take a second to pull himself back from the edge just from looking at Evan’s glassy-eyed expression, nevermind the perfect feeling of his hole squeezing around Tommy’s dick like it was made for him.

Tommy groans and buries his face in Evan’s neck. He wasn’t prepared for this tonight. He’s spent weeks telling himself to manage his expectations; that this was all new to Evan so even when they got here—if they got here—it would be slow-going. Maybe he wouldn’t even make it all the way inside the first time, and that would be fine. He’d go as slow as Evan needed him to.

What he wasn’t prepared for was Evan shifting his hips up, adjusting the angle and fucking himself on Tommy’s dick when Tommy didn’t start thrusting quickly enough for his liking. He wasn’t prepared for the full-body shudder that runs through Evan when he manages to find his own prostate with Tommy’s dick.

“Tommy,” Evan moans. His skin is flushed and his lips are kiss-swollen and Tommy wants to devour him. He can’t believe he’s lucky enough to have his name in this beautiful man’s mouth. “You can move, please- please fuck me. Feels so good already.”

Tommy’s barely hanging on, barely keeping up, but he shakes himself off and switches gears. Evan wants to get fucked? Tommy can do that. Tommy will give him anything. As hot as it is to have Evan wriggling against him like he’s a very heavy dildo (and isn’t that something to play with later?), Tommy wants to show Evan a good time.

Tommy pulls his face out of Evan’s neck and sits back on his knees. He’d been planning on staying close to Evan to monitor for any signs of discomfort, to kiss his neck and chest and lips so that Evan felt precious and loved. But that’s not what Evan’s body is asking of him right now.

Hands spread wide from Evan’s hips back to his ass to really get a grip on him, Tommy starts thrusting hard and fast. Evan is smiling again, moaning little fucked out ah ah ahs that threaten to send Tommy into a tailspin. Fuck, this is not what he thought their first time would be like, but it’s so fucking hot.

But even now, even after every revelation he’s had tonight, Evan continues to surprise him.

“Wanna ride you,” Evan says, pushing on Tommy’s hips with his legs until Tommy pulls out and flips them.

Evan settles himself on Tommy’s hips and takes Tommy’s dick in his hand. He sinks back down onto it and fuck, he’s smiling again; eyes closed, lips parted, looking content beyond belief.

He starts really moving on top of Tommy. Evan’s thighs are strong and powerful as he lifts himself up and drops himself down. His whole body is strong; thick muscle fueled by a soft layer of fat that Tommy can’t help but dig his fingers into. This man is huge. He’s dedicated. His hands come down to rest over Tommy’s as if to encourage him to dig in deeper; to leave hand-shaped bruises on his hips. Tommy squeezes and Evan moans.

God, and the noises he makes; deep groans and long, lingering moans that echo through the loft. Tommy manages to get a few whines out of him with some well-placed thrusts. Evan is so open with everything else; it tracks that he’d make it known just how much he’s enjoying himself.

It’s so good. It’s all so good. Evan looks incredible and he knows what he’s doing. He wasn’t lying when he said he loved getting fucked: he looked blissed-out and determined. He looks like once isn’t going to be enough for him tonight, and he looks like he knows exactly what it feels like to get fucked twice in one night. Maybe more.

It’s heady. This is far from Evan's first time, but the thought that Tommy is the first to get a real dick into him is beyond intoxicating. Suddenly he’s close: very close. But he needs to watch Evan fall apart first.

He wraps his hand around Evan’s dick where it’s been bouncing against his stomach—untouched, weeping, dripping between them. Evan moans and his hips stutter, trying to find a new rhythm that allows him to fuck back onto Tommy’s dick and forward into his hand at the same time.

“Gonna come for me, sweet boy?” Tommy asks, voice low and encouraging. “Gonna show me how pretty you look coming on my cock?”

That’s all it takes. Evan throws his head back, his hips locking down as he squeezes around Tommy’s dick and comes hot and wet into his hand. For as vocal as Evan has been this whole time, he's completely silent when he comes: for a few seconds, he doesn't even breathe.

Evan looks perfect as he shudders through it. Perfect. He looks like he was made for this. His mouth is open as he gasps for breath and his muscles are flexing under his skin as he circles his hips a last few times. He’s just about glowing with exertion.

Tommy doesn’t know how he got this lucky, but he’s going to hold onto Evan with both hands for as long as he’ll let him.

It’s not a choice for Tommy to follow. He’s been on the edge since he first got inside of Evan, and the feeling of that perfect hole tightening around him has him groaning and coming harder than he has in decades.

He’s still seeing stars when Evan collapses on top of him. Tommy’s arms come up to hold him close; petting across his skin and accidentally smearing Evan’s own cum across his back.

“Fuck,” Tommy says.

It’s Evan’s turn to hide his face in Tommy’s neck. “Was that okay?” He asks, still panting. His breath is hot on Tommy’s neck.

Tommy wants to laugh. He wants to cry. Was that okay? God, the kid has no idea. No idea how good he is. No idea how earth-shatteringly hot that was. Tommy will have to work on that self-confidence. He’s gonna show Evan exactly how incredible he is. He’s gonna make him believe it.

“That was amazing,” Tommy says. “That was… fuck, it’s been years since I’ve had anything that good.”

Tommy can feel Evan’s smile where his mouth is pressed into Tommy’s neck. “Yeah?” He asks, almost shyly.

He fucked himself beautifully on Tommy’s dick and now he’s shy asking if it was up to Tommy’s standards?

“You were so good, sweet boy,” Tommy purrs.

Evan groans into Tommy’s neck and shifts his hips like he’s gearing up for round two already.

“I really like that,” Evan says.

“Which part?” Tommy asks.

“Both. All of it, fuck,” Evan mouths aimlessly at Tommy's neck. "You. I really like you."

He's slowly humping Tommy’s body, his dick twitching against Tommy’s own, but Tommy isn’t nearly young enough to be ready again yet. Neither is Evan, honestly, which makes this that much more interesting. He’s chasing pleasure that he knows isn’t going to get him anywhere, just to feel it.

If this was their first time—if this is Evan when he’s still a little shy, still in the dark about just how much Tommy wants him—Tommy knows he’s gonna have a hell of a time keeping up with him once they really get going.

Tommy is giddy at the prospect. He can’t fucking wait.

{ao3}

[firewasabeast]

Why anyone would waste time being mean to someone for liking a certain ship is beyond me. You mean to tell me you spent your summer writing anonymous hate in people’s inboxes and threatening real people within the tv show?

Bizarre. I spent my summer imagining my ship fucking each other in every way shape and form imaginable.

You should try it.

[goldenispunk]

Kitty☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

[trying-to-jew]

Constantly torn between my desire to convert and the crushing weight of knowing that I won’t be able to exist in the wider fandom spaces that I love without being constantly reminded that Jews are always guilty until proven innocent post-Oct 7.

[purpledisastertwin900]

For all of the “Raph raised himself AND his brothers” fans out there I bring this train wreck of a thought (I’m a lil sleepy so sorry if it doesn’t make sense or if I repeat myself a lot-)

We do not in fact have any actual evidence that splinter was neglectful to the boys when they were little. In fact, we have the opposite.

All of these flashbacks indicate that Splinter acc spent a LOT of time with his boys-

With Mikey, he was obviously coached in his art, a smol child can’t paint like that no matter how talented they are so we can see that splinter put in the time/effort to get Mikey the supplies and teach him how to do it well. Which probably means he researched and learned it himself first, idk I just can’t really see Yoshi knowing how to paint/draw that well but that’s just a theory.

With raph and Leo, their lemonade stand is structurally sound: obviously not put together by an 8 year old, and there’s a lotta lemons lyin around that were probably a bit difficult to find, and just LOOK at their faces here they are definitely familiar with this kind of father/son shenaniganizing-also just LOOK at raph. That’s a happy child, one full of excitement and happiness, not a kid who had to grow up too fast. Also his dad is literally right there in the picture

And then with Donnie, I can’t really tell what he’s doing in the background (it’s a bomb) but what i take from that screenshot is that Donnie feels safe/loved enough to come to Splinter when he gets hurt. And Splinters taking care of him!! And, Donnie is wearing clothes, which shows that he went out and got clothes for them but also didn’t force the boys to wear them if they didn’t want to (see other screenshots lol) which also goes to show that he lets his boys choose who they wanna be and what they wanna do. At any point he could’ve forced all of them to train as ninja, at any point he could’ve made clothes mandatory, and at any point he could’ve forced them to drop things that made them happy like skating or science or art but nah. He was supportive every step of the way.

Now am I saying he was perfect? No. Am I saying he couldn’t have done anything better? No. What I’m saying is that Raph acc did not have to raise himself and his brothers. Splinter acc gave them a pretty good childhood, all things considered and it kinda makes me sad when ppl bash Rise Splinter or continue the neglectful parent trope. Again, I’m not saying he did everything right, he def could have spent more time with his kids on an individual basis and he should’ve been more present, but let’s cut him some slack bc he did a really good job at raising the boys. And he got so much better as the show progressed! But that’s another post lol. I’m also not trying to take away Raphs oldest sibling syndrome, he still def has that from being the leader and watching his bros while splinter was away-I’m just saying he didn’t have to do it ALL alone.

Look in the end he’s doing his best and his best was really good for what they had. He’s a good dad, he’s not neglectful.

[slytherinslut0]

Mattheo Riddle with reader doing a striptease?

ok this one is fun 🤭 18+?

perhaps it’s late at night, perhaps you’ve been drinking with the boys and pansy, everyone equally as sloshed as the other. the lot of you start playing truth or dare, and inevitably you get hit with a dare to do a striptease.

now, you were given the option to keep your top or bottoms on, should you feel more comfortable that way, but with the liquor coursing through your system and your newfound motivation, you couldn’t really give two fucks.

you and mattheo had been in this tension filled back and forth for quite some time, everyone knows the two of you have been messing around, though the stubborn arse doesn’t seem to wanna’ put aside his goddamn pride and admit that he wants you, exclusively.

you knew this was your perfect chance.

accepting the dare you stand up, somehow managing to swallow your laughter as you lock eyes with mattheo, his brooding browns glued to you with a clear challenge as he’s thinking to himself there’s no goddamn way she’s going to actually do this. strip in front of all your friends? no way.

oh, mattheo. you foolish fuck.

you know damn well that mattheo is the possessive type, but strangely enough he isn’t protesting this. he’s just simply watching you. you know this is just as much a dare from him as it is from the group. a dare to test him. a dare to play with fire. to fuck around and find out.

unfortunately for you, you’ve never been one to back down from a dare.

you pull your bottom lip between your teeth, holding his stare and start by reaching behind your head to slowly let your hair out of your ponytail, allowing its length to sway as it falls and cascades around your face. you notice mattheo’s eye twitch, almost imperceptibly, before he begins adjusting his seated stance slightly, manspreading his legs just a little bit wider.

you choke back a giggle. though you know he noticed.

for a brief second you let your eyes traverse the room, glimpsing enzo and theo and blaise, all hawk eyes and parted lips, not wanting to miss a goddamn thing. you don’t feel too much about this as you know they’ve all seen you dozens of times in a bikini while swimming or tanning--underwear and bra really wasn’t much different. was it?

regathering your focus you shake off the thoughts of potential implications as your hands move to the base of your jumper, fingertips tracing the edge before slowly peeling it up your torso, the draft of the cool room igniting goosebumps on your skin. you pull it up further, spinning around to show them your backside as you tug it up and over your head, tossing it to the floor at your feet.

pansy whistles, giggling and urging you on as you sway your hips slightly to the faint hum of music playing in the background, undeniably lost in the fun of it all as the other boys cheer you on, too, clapping and howling in an absurd way to pump you up. at this point, you’re in damn near hysteria from laughing so hard.

collecting yourself, you tease the band of your leggings while bending at the hips, peering over your shoulder to catch a glimpse of mattheo’s expressions as you begin to slowly peel them down your thighs, your ass in clear view.

mattheo looks like a fucking trainwreck, his hair tousled like his hand had plowed through it, his knuckles pale from gripping his cup so hard you were almost certain it was about to shatter within his palm. his jaw was clenched, so tight it almost looked painful, his eyes the hypnotizing depth of a black hole. you couldn’t tell if he was enjoying this, or utterly fucking hating it.

and as though he could read your mind, it was but a mere few seconds later before he gave you the answer.

you got your leggings about half way down your thighs when he stood up abruptly, interrupting the show and standing behind you to block your ass from the view of the other guys. when they all started grumbling and asking him wtf he was doing, he’d simply tell them to shut up and pick their jaws off the floor before they catch flies.

he’d yank your leggings back up, his lips pressed to your ear as he’d growl. “you win, you little fucking brat.”

you’d shrug, pretending you have no damn idea what he’s on about, and he’d reply with a calm, “yeah whatever you say princess, now let’s go back to my dorm so you can do this again for me in private.”