#I’m so sorry gorgug

[ewwww-what]

Save me teenager who was never taught how to properly regulate his feelings and goes into emotionally distressing rage episodes as a result. You will be my hero always.

[closetwasclear]

Bros gonna be sleeping and wake up to this man saying “jorjuj” over him

has anyone warned gorgug that telemaine is in elmville. or is he just going to be out trying to find a quokki pet and he turns down an aisle in the elmville target to see telemaine at the other end

[twinstxrs]

idk if this is accurate but i’ve felt like in previous seasons riz & gorgug have been one of the inter-bad kids dynamics we’ve seen the least of & this season has been so great in that aspect. gorgug having helped make some of riz’s magic gear. riz helping gorgug with his studies. the shared birthday party. gorgug’s gift to riz being something he himself made to protect riz. riz’s gift to gorgug being something he illegally grabbed to protect gorgug. gorgug who utilizes rage to put his body on the line for his friends & riz who will take deep levels of mental stress for his friends. even though it was within the context of a joke, riz calling gorgug an “absolute sweetie.” like yea they might not be in a band together or both part of a presidential campaign team or owlbears teammates, but they’d go to war for each other, because they’re best friends.

[metaphoricallyrose]

“It’s like Michael cera talking to Michael cera”

[applebees4prez]

gorgug was fighting for his life this episode and honestly maybe the vulture dimension will save him

[stacy-fakename]

I’m sorry, but my type-a ass cannot be against the Rat Grinders. They’re essentially the kids that couldn’t get the special treatment from teachers and get by on stumbling through tests and happening to get an A without studying. The Rat Grinders feel less like people who cheated the system, and more like the kids who aren’t naturally gifted or lucky, and have to spends hours on end studying, doing extra homework and extra credit, losing their social lives and free time to catch up with the kids who can just breeze through it. Fig never went to a single class or did any homework but gets away with it because the coach, lunch lad, and vice principal are her dads, Kristin and Riz did literally the worst thing their respective class can do, Gorgug actively works to avoid using the main feature of his class whenever possible, Adaine became the Oracle through seemingly happenstance, and Fabian’s rich family bought his way into the extra curricular he’s now the captain of, and all of them skipped half of freshman year! Obviously we, the audience, know that they worked their asses off to get through school each year and to get where the are today. We know they earned every little good thing they have! Fig has worked so hard to become the rockstar she is! Kristin literally brought back a god! Riz in a supergenius detective! Gorgug is an incredible barbarian and artificer! Adaine works so hard to help all of her friends survive a toxic system! Fabian slaved away to earn his achievements himself instead of letting his father’s legacy be his identity! But think of it from an outside perspective, without all the knowledge that only the audience has! These random kids stumbled into three adventures that let them skip grinding for XP, got to miss half a year with no consequence, get special privileges and quests because they are related to or friends with the faculty, never do their assignments or go to class, became popular because of their privileges, and now randomly start spouting micro aggressions towards halflings? If I was one of the Rat Grinders, I’d be pissed off too! I’ve been both the gifted kid, seemingly effortlessly breezing through classes and befriending the entire faculty while secretly going through terrible struggle and stress, and the kid desperately trying to game my way through a system built to harm me while being furious at those who seem to thrive in it, and I can’t help but feel empathy for both. I don’t think the Rat Grinders are evil, cheating monsters who plan to destroy the Bad Kids out of spite. I think they’re just kids in a harmful toxic school system that have a lot of righteous anger at their lot in life, that has sadly been misdirected. Idk if this ramble made sense, sorry for the wall of text!

Edit:Introducing Ivy Embra, the first Rat Grinder to actually be antagonistic to anyone in any way! Also introducing Oisin Hakivar, a super nice guy who’s willing to take advantage of his generational wealth in order to help a fellow student! So the first Rat Grinder to actively be nice to someone too! He likely did something with the ice mephits, but he still seemed genuinely sympathetic and helpful to Adaine!

[anomaliex]

Freshman year Fabian loves his friends dearly but he still feels pressure to conform to what he’s been taught is perceived as cool and awesome and like, doesn’t openly want to be best friends with Riz because he’s a loser nerd. Which is mostly canon right? But then he grows into doing whatever the fuck he wants and making it cool because it’s him doing it later. I think that he also gets much more open in his affection towards his friends that aren’t rockstars (and at the time on the Owlbears), especially Riz, who is his best friend amongst best friends (or potentially more if you like Fabriz, but this isn’t a ship thing).

This is awesome for Fabian, but I like to think about how it feels from Riz‘s perspective? It happens suddenly. I mean it took a few sessions, and a few in game days, but he did drastically change over spring break. Which means the last day of school was "Fabian pretends not to be close to me in front of cool people. Which I get haha, that’s fine." and then the next school day afterwards was,,,,not that anymore. I think at parties and stuff Fabian would actively seek out Riz (if he’s there at all lol) after mingling with cool kids because he’s like wow that was fun I’m gonna talk to a person I like more than these guys now and Riz is just? Confused? Yes he understands what changed and this is awesome but it probably takes a while to get used to.

Fabian isn’t the biggest on self reflection, but after abandoning his macho champion persona I do think he would realise that he’s been a little shitty, sometimes. Which doesn’t really speak to what kind of person he is in my opinion, because there’s no one who acts shittier in interpersonal relationships than dumb insecure teenagers, and he fixes it! And I don’t know if he’d verbally apologise but he’d at least get his friends (again, especially Riz) a bunch of stuff and they could probably all tell what’s going on (except Gorgug who has a track record of shitty insight despite decent wisdom in theory). But also maybe he would say sorry, both being a bard and getting in touch with his elven roots would make him more, like, emotionally available I think. (Side note, I do believe most high elves are kinda stiff and suppressed etc. Look at the Abernants and associates. But Telemaine is all about poetry and really living life and self expression through dance. So I think that would positively influence Fabian.)

Oughhh Also Fabian wears the best friends forever necklace btw. It‘d probably still be mostly under his shirts or something but I swear to you he doesn’t take it off. They’re best friends forever fr (and he wore it before his no good very bad day and class change and stuff. He’s always liked it he just wouldn’t have admitted it before lol).

Oh speaking of post toxic masculinity Fabian, he should paint his nails. This is not related to anything I just like to think he would. Clear polish at least, nice and shiny :)

[adaine-party-wizard]

no sorry i’m still not over gorgug asking birdcopman if he has a fucking warrant and then oinking at him zac oyama the king you are i am so obsessed with who gorgug is growing into

[dullgecko]

I felt compelled to do language headcanons and got carried away… Sorry!

Gorgug speaks in a mix of Gnomish and Orcish when he gets really into an artificing project or when he’s genuinely pissed(not in a Rage, just actually mad), like to the point it’s unintelligible even with Adaine casting Understand Language.

Fig does something similar when she gets mad just a mix of Elvish and Infernal, though it’s easier for Adaine and Fabian to understand that one. Everyone knows not to bother her if she’s mumbling in both languages since it takes a lot to get her to that point, usually Ayda has to come in and calm her down.

Riz and Gorgug both have a thing where they forget the word for something in Common and try to come up with what they think it is, with wild descriptions and weird names for it. Meanwhile Fig and Kristen are laughing at each attempt, Adaine is begging them to just say it in their respective languages while she’s casting Understand Languages, and Fabian is genuinely playing along trying to guess what they’re saying(He is SO far off).

The Thistlesprings have that country-like accent because Gnomish has a similar sound to it, the only times they speak in Common is when Gorgug has friends over or when they’re around people who don’t understand Gnomish. So by default Gorgug has a slight country accent, though it isn’t noticeable unless he says certain words.(I’m giving a reason for the “Even cowgirls get the blues” if you couldn’t tell.)

(Not language related but eh) Riz, Fig, Gorgug, and Ragh all make animalistic noises. Often they purr or growl softly when all the bad kids are in a cuddle pile or when they’re just cozy, Ragh is the loudest.

Adaine got taught how to howl and growl correctly by Jawbone, specifically how to do it in an affectionate way. Tracker cried when she came back home and was immediately greeted by both Jawbone and Adaine howling their love for her. Kristen was very confused, then later started to learn it as well, for Tracker.

Fabian can’t speak Halfling, he only new the songs Cathilda sang to him as a kid and realized he should probably try and learn it. He went to one if the Halfling teachers during Junior year and begged him to teach him the language so he could surprise Cathilda with a proper greeting when she got back home. He still wasn’t very good at it when she arrived, he mixed up a word and ended up calling her a canoe, but she still cried at her beautiful boy’s effort.

Kristen sometimes just sits and stares when one of the others rant in a different language, then when they’re finished she goes, “I’m sure you’re very correct in whatever opinion you just had.” and moves on. It’s very therapeutic to rant to someone who can’t understand what you’re saying and still supports your opinions, apparently.

Oh its beautiful, i love it. Multi-lingual bad kids my beloved.

Gorgugs orcish isnt anywhere near as fluent as his gnomish or common, but its gotten a lot better since they became friends with Ragh and his mum. He tries to chat with her in orcish whenever they meet, and she helps him with his pronounciation. He mostly has trouble with the more gutteral sounds, but he's getting better at roaring with Ragh and his mums help. Riz helps him practice too whenever they're out of town, because he ALSO knows Orcish but he never elaborates on how he is fluent when asked (he used to play chess with some elderly orcs who lived down the hallway from him while his mum was at work, and he's a quick study).

He enjoys speaking it when he gets genuinely pissed because gnomish just sounds hilarious when spoken with anger. They dont have good swear words, the harshest one that exists in gnomish is the equivilent of 'fiddlesticks'.

-------------

Infernal is also an awesome language to be pissed off in, it allows for a lot of harsh consonants and yelling and maybe a little horrifying screaming. Elvish however is great when you really want to insult someone in a way that would cause psychic damage. Combining the two is /incredibly/ satisfying because you can call someone a "*screeches of the damned* piece of shit whos parentage is *horrifying chattering* and he deserves to rot forever in the foresaken bowels of the inferno where he'll be turned into a *hissing and clicking*". Riz looking over from where he's half-ignoring her and going 'oh damn, goblin also uses that last one" before adding another note to a document he and Fig regularly update called 'words shared by infernal and goblin'.

-------------

"You know, the THING. You put it on food. Tastes good, will kill you if you have too much." "Chilli powder?" "NO its a rock. it literally translates out to tasty rock in goblin." "What the fuck are you on about who eats rocks." SALT, the answer was salt.

---------------

All of Gorgugs extended family live out in farming country away from the city. His parents took him to visit a lot over summer breaks when he was little and still fit inside their houses (he loved watching the ponies as a kid, and the accent became well and truely stuck). Now he'd be too big to get through the front door, but at reunions they usually clear a space out in the barn where he can sleep.

----------------

Riz, Fig, Gorgug and Ragh making more animalistic noises is pretty well known amoung the group. Ragh and Gorgug definitely purr and growl, but when REALLY pissed off they can also roar and bellow in a way that other people can feel in their chests.

Riz and Fig have definitly started doing it more the longer they've known the others (Riz because he was trying VERY hard to not seem super monster-y but is now a lot more comfortable being himself and Fig because she's still becoming more infernal slowly). There are still some noises the others have only heard recently though, which both happened over about ten seconds. Riz had been hanging out with the others at the mall, and both himself and Fig had stepped away from the others to get refills on their drinks. None of the others really saw what started it but a stranger had grabbed and picked up Riz which made him make a screeching-yowling noise of pain and anger so loud that they heard it from across the food court. Figs own infernal snarl of rage was almost as loud as the sound of the assholes nose breaking when she promptly headbutt him at full strength to make him drop the goblin. Riz managed to get a good swipe in at the guys achilies before promptly disappearing while Fig ran.

-------------------

Jawbone loves his kids, and Adaine loves him back. She feels a little silly howling everytime he comes home but its a good kind of silly. It feels a little LESS silly when half the house is doing it together.

She has to be careful with the growling though, and who she growls at. What might be a fun and playful cadence for Jawbone and Tracker made Riz's pupils contract to slits and his ears flatten backwards before he clocked it was her and put the pieces together (Oh its Adaine, she is not pissed off and threatening me. Wait why the fuck did she growl at me?).

----------------

Fabian spoke halfling before he spoke common, but forgot a LOT of it as he got older (but he never forgot the words to those songs). He spends months using fantasy duolinguo to bring his fluency back up and, after surprising Cathilda with how good he's gotten, starts getting proper lessons from her as well (she is by far more terrifying than the language bird, so he never misses practice time).

----------------

Kristen knows some elvish, but not well enough to parse the more rapid-fire ranting that she sits through so she just nods and makes general noises of agreement at points she thinks are appropriate.

Riz she has ZERO hope of understanding because they dont shift their vocal register to a level she can hear the entire time when they're really pissed off (there are a lot of subsonics that elves and orcs can only JUST pick up, but her human hearing has no hope), even after the whole party starts learning goblin in secret to surprise Riz later. She smiles, nods, and makes him a new coffee when his old one runs out.

[rainbowtransform]

The steps are echoing around him. It feels like his house, too big without his father in it and too quiet without the booming laugher of others echoing.

He has to keep going, Fabian thinks. The others are behind him, but only his steps echo there is no others.

He wants to speak. He needs to. The quiet is surrounding him, only his breathing and the steps he’s taking and the blood roaring in his ears.

And they are right there, aren’t they? The people that make his house feel like a home again. They are behind him and they’re staring at him.

They can’t speak, either.

Or can they?

There has to be laughter, he thinks. He needs to have them again. Fabian can’t live without them. He needs to see them again, and so he keeps going.

What if they’re lying, comes a thought, unbidden. What if no one is behind you? There is no breathing.

“Are you there?” Fabian asks. It stops him in his tracks. There is light somewhere but Fabian doesn’t focus on it. “Guys?”

There is no response and Fabian’s heart is thumping and his mind is spinning and he’s stopped walking. Nobody is answering him and they always answer him. Why aren’t they answering him?

If they were there, they’d answer him.

So—

Kristen isn’t looking back. She holds her staff to her chest, and squeezes her eyes shut. She wants to pray, but it won’t work.

Cassandra was frantic when her connection began frazzling. She was already reaching to pluck them all out of whereever they were before it was cut off completely and now Kristen is alone.

Her friends are behind her.

Kristen won’t look back.

She’s read this myth when she was studying new religions. She knows it like the back of her hand and she refuses to look behind her and doom them all.

Kristen knows this. If she wants them to get out, she can’t lose focus. And she won’t.

She is Saint Kristen Applebees, Head Priestess of Cassandra, goddess of doubt and this is her god’s entire deal.

She can doubt their existence, and she will. Just until they get to the light and all pass through. And then she will spend her nights holding their warm, breathing bodies and checking pulses and casting heals on them.

She will ask Cassandra to grant her more spells for them.

She will ask Cassandra anything for them.

There’s a noise behind her, someone tripping on a rock and—

Gorgug is walking. He doesn’t remember how long he has been walking, but he knows it’s been a while. He closes his eyes, and remembers “It’s Gorgug, Keep Going,” and he keeps walking.

He talks. He talks about how he will take them home, how he will protect them in the night when they fall asleep. He talks about what he had for breakfast (he had nothing, they don’t need to know that) and he talks about how their parents are doing.

He tells them that their parents have torn apart the entire world, chewed through armies, and burned oceans for them.

He tells them that he’s sorry that he didn’t come sooner, but he wasn’t brave enough. He tells them how he spent weeks searching for where they’d went exactly in order to find them.

Gorgug tells them that he will get them out. He makes promises. He asks them to talk to him.

To say something.

His throat is dry and it feels clogged. There are tear tracks on his face, and he doesn’t wipe them away. The drops fall onto the ground and he falls to his knees.

“Please,” he begs. “Please say something. I’m—I can’t. I can’t do this alone.”

It feels like the Nightmare Forest, all alone. It feels like Orc Heaven, with all the flames for miles and with the gleaming eyes of the guidance counselor next to him.

Someone thumps behind to him, someone to their knees and—

Adaine takes another breath of air. There is nothing between her and the goal. It is her, her family, and the gleam of the sun high above her.

She climbs the steps, hearing nothing behind her. Riz would chide her for being stupid and thinking they’re not behind her.

Wherever she’d go, they’d follow. They proved it multiple times. So she knows, without a shadow of a doubt, that they are there.

They are always there.

Except that she can’t see the sparkle of gold hair beads in the sun. There is no bass thrumming steadily through her walk, no spark of a lighter to light another’s cigarette. There’s no tapping of a staff against the floor, not even a glimpse of a Mage Hand reaching out to snatch something from someone else.

Except, her friends aren’t there.

Her breathing becomes more panicked, her throat is closing up. She needs to see, she needs to—

They are behind him. Riz knows this for a fact, because he made sure they would be. He’d made the deal, had woven the contract himself and given it to the entity.

He had sneered at him, laughing and laughing before agreeing. Riz had a glimpse of his friends lining up behind him before he turned around and started walking.

They are behind him, and Riz will get them out because they are his best friends and he won’t leave them to this place.

The steps are hard. They’re one of the hardest things he’s ever done, and he had to squeeze his eyes shut and restrain himself from doing anything when he heard that one of them had fallen.

The others help them up, though, and Riz keeps going. He doesn’t ask them if they are alright. If he speaks to them, then he will falter and he can’t.

The sun is just above them, and he can taste the air. It’s almost sweet.

The doorway looms overhead, huge in the overwhelming silence but Riz can’t dwell on it. His watch feels cold on his skin, his father’s panicking voice is one of the things Riz can’t think about.

So he doesn��t.

The air tastes like victory, and Riz grins at the entrance, his watch beeping with his father’s screaming before—

Fig is thrumming her bass, the sound slowly moving through the place.

This is different than the Hell she’s used to. There is no flames, just emptyness and shells of something floating around.

Ankarna is silent, in Fig’s head. She hasn’t said a word since Fig made a deal and she thinks that her goddess is upset with her but—

But these are her friends. These are someone who has stuck by her, through and through and she loves them just as much as she loves Ankarna.

She can’t leave them.

So she keeps going, humming a lullaby she can’t quite remember. Her grandmother sang it to her when she lived with them and used to tuck Fig into bed.

Fig keeps playing. She wonders if drums would go good with the lullaby.

Nobody joins in. There is nothing except her own bass.

She doesn’t speak.

She doesn’t need to.

She just sings and plays, and hopes beyond hope that they are following her music. That they are following her.

She knows they are behind her. Knows it in the marrow of her bones, in the heart of her bass, in the echoes around her.

They are behind her.

They are always behind her.

Where is Fabian’s footsteps, and the rustle of his battle sheet?

Where is Gorgug’s tinker noises, or the heavy swing of his axe on his back?

Where is Adaine’s rustling jacket? Boggy’s croaking?

Where is Kristen’s tapping, her laugh?

Where is Riz’s shuffling papers or the tapping of his wristwatch?

Where are they?

The music stops and before she can even think better—

They look back.

[fantasykiri5]

Sorry but I’m just not going to pay attention to some of the bad kids’ canon heights. Some of them are listed as too damn tall (and Gorgug has 100 percent grown since freshman year) so have 80 million headcanons

Like you’re telling me Riz is supposed to be 4’4”?? That’s a tall ass goblin! That’s too big to be reasonably carted around on the others’ shoulders, no no, I’m making the executive decision to draw him as 3’9” - 3’11” from now on and you can’t stop me. I’d give him another inch or two by college and that’s it.

Kristen being 5’11”? NAH She’s 5’6”. BIG 5’6” energy right there.

Adaine and Fig didn’t have their heights listed on the wiki but I’m thinking Adaine is 5’10” and Fig is 5’4”. Or Fig is also 5’10” ish and takes after Gorthalax idk but I’m leaning towards short Fig.

Fabian can actually stay same as canon at 6’1”. Maybe grow an inch or two since freshman year but honestly his still works. He’s a year older than the others, prolly grew a little earlier and plateaued early-mid sophomore year, half-elf youth look and all that. I think he lied in introductions freshman year and was about 5’11” - 6’0” and grew over the year before the others could notice the discrepancy.

And Gorgug. Gorgug. You’re telling me he reached 6’4” in freshman year and didn’t keep growing?? Mother fucker he has to have hit at LEAST one growth spurt since, puberty does not hit that early in boys that he was done growing at 14/15. I’m thinking 6’8” or so by Junior Year so far, maybe another couple inches before graduating, maybe not.

[twinstxrs]

thinking about how gorgug + kristen perceive both their own deaths & each other’s, and how that impacts their relationship. bc i feel like freshman year kristen was too caught up in her newfound knowledge of the nature of her own god to truly clock & process gorgug’s internal revulsion of where he went after he died, & freshman year gorgug wasn’t familiar enough with the complexities of other people to truly lock onto the sorrow buried within the chaos of kristen’s upward/downward/sideways spiral until she was seemingly on the other side of it. & i wonder if they’ve ever really talked about it (unlikely), or if they’ve just cracked very few jokes that didn’t land and decided to never quite do the work & dig through that part of their relationship. but there’s a kinship there; kristen specifically singles out gorgug to tell him she died again, and gorgug apologizes that he wasn’t there with her this time. gorgug takes one of the finger bones off kristen’s newly/long-time decayed corpse to have an anchor to something in the world. despite the fact that they were in different places after death, having been together during it means everything.

anyways what i’m trying to say is i think they should talk about it.

[gingermarshmallow]

I'm just full of words today. Here's a scrapped writing that I came across just now:

There’s something about Fabian recently that has Riz’s attention. Ever since the beginning of junior year he’s been smelling good – enticingly good – and Riz can’t figure out why, exactly. It’s a lemony scent that makes Riz’s head go bzz! but at the same time makes him feel so relaxed that he just wants to curl up on Fabian’s lap and start purring if he were not aware of his surroundings. Riz has smelled lemony scents before – even on Fabian – but nothing has made him feel like this, like he craves it. On the one hand, it’s terrifying that a mere scent has such sway over his instincts like this, but on the other, the smell is so intoxicating that Riz is ready to do anything to smother himself in it. Either way, though, he cannot let anyone know what this is doing to him; this is a mystery he will need to get to the bottom of all on his own.

Riz’s first idea is to check Fabian’s backpack for any clues, however this plan would involve getting inside of it. Riz tries a subtle approach, first, faking a yawn around his adventuring party as they sit at a table during morning break: “Oh, wow, I’m really tired all of a sudden! I think I’m going to skip math and take a nap; anyone mind if I just curl up in their bag?” he says as he starts to unzip Fabian’s bag.

“Oh, you can climb into mine if you want,” Gorgug offers, unzipping his own backpack and opening it up for Riz.

“The Ball, I’m afraid I don’t have any room in there today,” Fabian says, closing up the zip and pushing the goblin away with his other hand. “Too many binders in there for health and dance and bloodrush plays and all that; you know how it goes.”

“Oh, right,” Riz says, dejected. He looks over to Gorgug, his big, black eyes radiating nothing but kindness and a large smile on his face as he continues to offer his backpack for Riz. Riz really doesn't want to miss class for a nap, though. Better think up an excuse quickly!

“Uh, don’t you have all of your artificers tools and projects in there? It might get…lumpy,” Riz suggests to Gorgug.

“Oh, it’s just a couple things!” Gorgug offers in response to Riz’s hesitancy. “You should be just fi-”

“MY NAME’S CLOACA! I SUCK!” The screech of Gorgug’s serpent-bird homunculus cries out from within his backpack.

“Uhhh…I think I’m good,” Riz says, backing away from the bag a bit. “I think- yeah, I think I’m awake enough for math class now! Thanks, Cloaca!”

“I SUCK!”

Gorgug zips up his bag and sighs. “Sorry, Riz. I forgot that he was in there.”

“No worries, Gorgug. Thanks for offering.”

OK, so that plan didn’t pan out. That’s all right. Just gotta think up a different one. Riz spends all of math class thinking of how he can charm his way into Fabian’s backpack, but comes up with nothing. Fine, then. Time to stop thinking like a bard and just go with what’s best for a rogue: stealth.

Just as he thought, Riz’s keen nose locates Fabian’s locker in no time. It’s locked, of course, but a simple school-issued combination lock is easy work for his nimble claws and sensitive ears. He listens patiently for each small ‘tic’ indicating the correct numbers and within a minute he has the lock undone and Fabian’s locker open. Riz surveys the contents, and yet the idea that this could be a violation of Fabian’s privacy does not cross his mind; the alluring scent fogs Riz’s mind and makes it hard for him to focus on anything aside from it, including reason. In fact, if anything, his need to figure out this mystery has made his logic as follows: 

Fabian smells really enticing for some mysterious reason → Riz loves a mystery

Goblins have an incredibly keen sense of smell (greater than a wolf’s, in fact) so there’s no way Riz wouldn’t have picked up the scent → No one else has mentioned the smell so maybe only Riz can smell it → Maybe even Fabian isn’t aware of it 

Fabian is part of Riz’s adventuring party and his best friend → If someone is trying to harm Fabian with whatever is emitting this scent, it’s Riz’s duty to protect him and get to the bottom of this → Riz will go to extremes for those closest to him

Conclusion: There’s something really strange happening that Fabian and his other friends aren’t aware of – in fact they may all be under its spell – and so it’s up to Riz to pry and save them by getting to the bottom of this mystery and if that involves ransacking Fabian’s locker and backpack, so be it. Thus, Riz is compelled by the buzzing headiness in his head to seek out the source of the smell.

[figscigfigs]

my favorite moments of ep 1 of FANTASY HIGH JUNIOR YEAR!!!!!!!!!:

hand holding!!!! (and murph’s “em and i are gonna do this all the time”)

night yorb is real!!! and the yorbies (so silly)

FIG IS BACK AND AYDA IS PART OF HER PERSONALITY!!!!! (but not part of the episode (devastating and ridiculous))

gorgug “holder of the tin flower”

SQUEEM!!! rip :(

BABY ART BABY MINI

fabian narcissus horny mirror

riz defending the fashion choices (a cool and functional necklace)

photosythe-kids

em and murph trading silvery barbs advantage “cute!!!”

CASSANDRA ART

the name mechanic was rad as hell

kristen ignoring gods, drinking protein shakes, and touching feet

“I BOUGHT THE BOOK” “RIBBON DANCE THIS MOTHERFUCKERRR”

cortados!! and vulture!!!

“my dad’s been in a lot of gems” “sick and i’m sorry”

big b and his litter of 6 month of parrots

YAAATH MAGS!!! 💅

devil gilear??!!?!?!?!!?!?!?!!?!?!

MY LEAST FAVORITE PART WAS NO AYDA.

hey brennan, can i talk to you for a sec??? WHERE THE FUCK WAS AYDA

[gods-favorite-autistic]

Fantasy High Incorrect Quotes

Fig: I can explain.

Sandra Lynn: Can you?

Fig: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

~

Kristen: A theif.

Adaine: Thief?

Kristen: Theif.

Adaine: I before E, except after C.

Kristen: Thceif.

Adaine: No

~

Somebody: How many kids do you have?

Jawbone: Biologically, emotionally, or legally?

~

Riz: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Fabian's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get him out...

~

Kristen: Change is inedible.

Gorgug: Don't you mean inevitable?

Kristen, spitting out coins: No, I did not

~

Riz: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.

Sklonda: You're like 15 years old

Riz: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!

~

Fig: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.

Fabian: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.

~

Jawbone: You often use humor to deflect trauma

Kristen: Thank you

Jawbone: I didn't say that was a good thing

Kristen: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny

~

Fig giving bardic: I've already sent good vibes your way… they’re coming. There’s nothing you can do to stop them.

Gorgug: This is the most threatening way I’ve ever been cheered up.

~

Riz: Please, I'm begging you go to Kristen.

Fabian: I'm sorry is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it.

~

Kipperlily: Okay. I get it. We’ve had a really hard time lately, we’re stressed out, seven people died-

Ivy: Twelve, actually.

Kipperlily: Not the point. Look, they're dead now and really whose fault is that?

Oisin: Yours!

Kipperlily: That's right: no one's.

~

Fabian: Okay, truth or dare?

Riz: Truth

Fabian: How many hours have you slept this week?

Riz:

Riz: ...Dare

Fabian: Go to bed.

Riz: I don’t like this game.

~

Gorgug: Why are you on the floor?

Fig: I'm depressed.

Fig: Also I was stabbed, can you get Kristen, please.

~

Store Worker: Would a Mr. Jawbone please come to the front desk?

Jawbone, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem?

Store Worker: *points to Fig and Kristen*

Store Worker: I believe they belong to you?

Fig and Kristen, simultaneously: We got lost :(

Jawbone: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

~

Riz: Here’s a fun Christmas idea. We hang mistletoe, but instead of kissing, you have to FIGHT whoever else is under it.

Sklonda: Riz no.

Adaine: Mistlefoe.

Sklonda: Please stop encouraging him.

~

Adaine: Hey Kristen,

Kristen: Yes?

Adaine: Can a person breathe inside a washing machine while it’s on?

Kristen:

Kristen: Where’s Aelwyn?

~

Fabian: I’m kind of crushing on someone, but I’m worried about telling you who it is, because you’re not going to like it

Adaine: Just rip the bandage off.

Fabian: It’s Aelwyn.

Adaine: Put the bandage back on.

~

Riz: I love you guys, you're the best thing that's happened to me.

Fabian: We're the best thing that's ever happened to you?

Riz: Yes!

Kristen: I'm starting to feel a little sorry for you.

~

Jawbone: I trust the Bad Kids.

Sandra Lynn: You think they know what they're doing?

Jawbone: I wouldn't go that far.

~

Fig: If Kristen and I were drowning, who would you save?

Adaine: You two can’t swim?

Kristen: It’s a hypothetical question, Adaine! who would you save?

Adaine: my time and effort.

~

Fig: Come on, I wasn’t that drunk last night.

Gorgug: You were flirting with Ayda.

Fig: So what? She’s my girlfriend.

Gorgug: You asked her if she was single.

Fig:

Gorgug: And then you cried when they said they weren't.

~

Fig: What if I press the brake and gas at the same time?

Kristen: The car takes a screenshot.

Gorgug, fixing the Hangvan: For the last time, get the fuck out.

~

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.

Fabian: Shit.

Riz: Wait, three?

Cop: Yeah?

Fig: OH MY GOD KRISTEN FELL OFF!!!

~

Fig: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

Kristen: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD

Fig: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING ADAINE WITH ME

Gorgug, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.

~

Riz: *Gently taps table*

Adaine: *Taps back*

Kristen: What are they doing?

Fabian: Morse code.

Riz: *Aggressively taps table*

Adaine: *Slams hands down* YOU TAKE THAT BACK-

~

Gorgug: Riz isn’t answering his phone

Fabian: I’ll call

Gorgug: Adaine and I have both tried six times each, what makes you thi-

Riz: Hello?

~

Adaine: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?

Fabian: Rude.

Fig: That’s fair.

Kristen: Not again.

Riz: Are you going to want this back?

~

Adaine: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Fig: This knife is actually a magic wand.

Kristen: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.

Riz: *cocks gun* Magic missile.

Sandra Lynn: What the fuck is wrong with you people.

~

Adaine: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Fabian: Several traffic violations.

Kristen: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Riz: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Fig: Also, that’s not our car.

~

Adaine: Are we really going to let Fabian keep Riz?

Fig: We kept Kristen.

~

Fabian, walking into his house: Hello, people who do not live here.

Kristen: Hey.

Adaine: Hi.

Gorgug: Hello.

Fig: Hey!

Fabian: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only!

Riz: We were out of Doritos.

[t-oriand]

oh god, kobolds are dragón/lizardfolk. they definitely have cloacas. i’m so sorry gorgug