#I’m so sorry but Hunter is hot as shit

[avathebestx]

I think you can tell I’m obsessed with a fictional character that the minute someone makes an AU about you in a sport and there watching, you tryout for the team and make it. Please tell me it’s not just me 😭

[the-californicationist]

Hello🐻❤

Military!Biker!Price ?

I mean... Repaired a motorcycle, ride a biker

I love you Cali ❤🫂

I love you too @leixy and I’m so sorry for the wait!! Hope you enjoy the story 🩷🩷

MDNI

Storm Chaser

The rumble that you heard just outside of your garage may have been mistaken for thunder. The skies were gray, and as they rolled across the firmament, you knew they’d linger, soaking the ground and making the soil black with its fallen waters. But, this wasn’t a thundercall. This was a Triumph. 

A giant, hulking man, laden with muscle and black leather gear, rolled into your mechanic shop’s driveway on a blacked out, stealthy Triumph Storm GT. Its rider’s face was covered in a full helmet, and as he slowed to a stop, his heavy boot dug into the shale, catching the center of the bike and sitting up straight, killing the enormous engine.

He looked at you. You knew he was looking at you because there was no one else to look at. You saw yourself in the black mirror of his visor, and all around you were the empty fields surrounding your shop, the tall grass roiling in the wind. 

The gloves came off first, and you indulged in his hands. They seemed monstrous; a thin dusting of dark hair covered his skin, and each finger looked like it might have been wider than two of your own. His nails were clean, which surprised you for some reason, and there was a nasty scar along his right palm. 

He fiddled with his helmet, unlatching the buckle, and then yanked it over his head. 

Shit. You cursed inside of your mind. He’s hot as hell.

You’d been drooling over the bike, but the man sweetened the deal. He was ruggedly handsome, and his movements were so easy. It was like being in the presence of a magician, as if he knew all the secrets and delighted in hiding them from you. He was so certain, so sure of his tricks, and you waited on him to break the spell he’d put on you. 

“Alright, love? How’s it goin’?”

He held out his hand for you to shake, and it warmed you like a fire. His grip was firm but careful, and he let you go without a shake. You smiled,

“All good. Slow day,” you pointed upwards, “No one but you out in this weather.”

He chuckled, and you fell for him even harder. His mirth was contagious. He looked up at the darkening sky and told you,

“Aye, it was pourin’ cats and dogs a few minutes ago. Chasin’ me here, I’ll wager. Thought I’d wait it out here. Maybe get the service I’m due for.”

“This bike’s brand new,” you scoffed, “How did you put ten thousand miles on it already?”

He gave you a half-grin and admitted with a shrug,

“I like to get away.” 

You nodded, and he dismounted, unzipping his jacket for comfort. You gave the bike a once-over, checking for any signs of trouble. As new as it was, you’d already been trained on it, so you felt confident you could help him. You mentioned your plan,

“Oil, brake pads, filters. Check your sensors. My Triumph cert is up to date, so we’ll just clean her up by the book. How does that sound, mister…?”

“Price. John Price. Sounds class, love.”

“Waiting room just in there, John,” you pointed over to the tiny little sitting room you’d added to the garage, “Got a library and some coffee. Should be fresh. Just made a new pot a few minutes ago.”

“Cheers,” he smiled, and it was the most handsome one you’d seen in a while. His full lips stretched into his cheeks, and his tanned skin crinkled up to his eyes. 

The eyes themselves were a problem. They were a hue of blue you’d never seen, and they pinned you down like a wild animal, a hunter and his prey. But, all of that ferality was tied taut, held by a rope in his clenched fist, and his gnashing hungry teeth were kept from biting you, controlled by his tight-laced civility. All of that chivalry made you wonder what he was like when he was allowed a little freedom. 

As he walked away from you, you ogled him. You weren’t even ashamed to do it. He was everything you wanted in a man. Him and his bike oozed a primal sort of power that you’d been craving, and you wanted a taste of that freedom. 

His bike was his escape, that was for sure. Ten thousand mile service after only a few months of ownership was impressive. This man liked to ride long and often. There was plenty of evidence of wear and tear, but as rough as he had been with his ride, there was evidence of his love as well. The clean body, the mended tailpipe, evidence of a scuff polished away; it was all proof of his affection.

The service was easy and quick. As you were checking his sensors and finishing up the job, the first pitter patter of rain began to fall into the gravel drive. In the beginning, it was soft and sweet, just a few drops here and there. Then, over the short span of mere moments, it came down in a torrential pour, slamming itself into the ground and pummeling the pavement. 

You watched it slip and slide off of your metal roof in sheets, and you got close enough to the edge so that you could feel the cool spray from the downpour, a few droplets spitting onto your nose and cheeks. A bright blue bolt of lightning streaked across the cloudy pall, followed by a deafening roar of thunder that resonated in the hollow of your chest. 

Cleaning the oil from your hands as best you could, you went to deliver the bill to your customer. To your sick delight, he’d be trapped with you at least until the storm passed, and you crossed your fingers that he could do with a bit of company. 

He was sitting on the wide couch in the waiting room, his hands prying open a book. When you looked at the spine, you noticed that he was deep into the first few chapters of Moby Dick.

“Having fun yet, John?”

“Enjoying the rain on this tin roof of yours. Makes me want to kip down here on your sofa. Love to fall asleep listenin’ to the storm.”

“Me, too,” you admit, nodding towards the book, “Has he caught the whale yet?”

John shook his head,

“No, we barely got out of the harbor. You work fast. I’m afraid you’re stuck with me though, love. I don’t fancy a ride out in this mess.”

“No problem. Take all the time you need.”

“D’ya mind?” He dug around in his jacket and pulled out a short, fat cigar. 

You waved him on, motioning that it was alright with you, and he happily lit his stick, working an ambery, glowing tip until fiery smoke spilled from the end. You were about to turn and hide somewhere else, anywhere that you wouldn’t need to smell his burnt, woodsy scent. It was making you hungry for a puff of his cigar and a long lick of the inside of his mouth. 

A little self-control please… You begged yourself. 

He caught you as you started to leave, and the feeling of his hand on his surprised you with its warm sincerity. You looked down at him, but you didn’t pull away. 

“Stay… for a bit. I was just gettin’ to the good part,” he said with a sly smile, holding up the book as if to offer it to you. 

“Alright,” you replied, your voice sounding too small and too quiet in the small space. 

You sat next to him, worrying over your oil-stained nails as he read aloud to you, pausing every now and then to smoke his cigar or to turn his pages. Slowly, you started to relax, and as you leaned back into the couch, the sound of his voice and the drumming of the rain blended together into a soporific haze. You caught yourself looking at him — staring at him — with hooded eyes, studying the way his lips and tongue and teeth formed his words. The dark bristles of his beard giving you a clear view of every micro-movement of his face. 

He was looking at you, now, too. Staring at you. Every now and then, he’d glance back at the book, read a few lines, and then take a long pause to smoke and to meet your gaze. 

Suddenly, he seemed to make a conscious choice. He sat forward, and his huge shoulders cast a shadow over you. He held out his cigar and asked, 

“Fancy a smoke?”

You didn’t reply, but you took it from him ever so slowly, as if he might bite, and put the end in your mouth. You sucked in the smoke to taste the rich tobacco, and you let it roll around in your mouth before releasing it, letting it hit him in the chest and neck, billowing around his stoney jawline. 

Then, he said something to you in a new voice. It was one you knew, but you hadn’t heard it in a very long time. It was desire,

“Pretty little thing, aren’t you, love?”

You let his compliment wash over you like the downpour outside. It soaked through, right to your bones. You took another drag from the cigar, earning yourself a deeper chuckle and a pleased, approving grin.

“You should see me when I’m out of these coveralls,” you quipped, certain that your smudged cheeks were now a rosy shade of crimson. 

He took the cigar back from you and put the book down, leaning closer to you, positioning his knee between yours, forcing you to spread your legs. He smoked, filling the space between you, taking another drag for himself, breathing in and breathing out, trying to test the waters,

“Care to show me now?”

You met his smoldering gaze. The tip of his cigar had nothing on the glow from behind his eyes. He was poised and ready to pounce, a lion on a lamb. 

You didn’t answer him. You simply watched as he unzipped your work coveralls and let the sleeves slink down your arms. You pulled them free, revealing what was underneath. You were braless, letting your heavy tits lay unbound in the soft fabric of your ribbed tank, preferring comfort over fashion. 

His hand came up to cup your cheek, rubbing some of the smudged oil with his thumb. He leaned forward even further, breathing heavily with you, panting like he had run for miles, all for the sole purpose of brushing your sensitive bottom lip with his own, teasing you with your own taste, hungry for your body and ready to consume you in every way he knew how. 

He began to kiss you slowly, languidly, as if you were both trapped in some world of slow motion where time need not exist. You need not be bothered with the past or the future. The present was enough, and it stretched between you forever. Each kiss deeper than the last, each touch more sensual, making your breath catch in your chest. 

John pulled away from you, slowly untangling himself, looking at you as if he had been keeping some smoldering question inside of his chest. He moved so slowly, telegraphing his motions so you would know his intent. Rapt, you watched his hand drop to the hem of your tank, his thick fingers dancing along the seam, carefully pulling it away so that his warm hand could slide underneath. 

Your whole body shuddered as his palm spread across your soft belly. His callused hands were rough against your skin, and the way he grabbed at you, greedy yet slow and savoring, made you feel like he had hypnotized you. You were frozen in place, submitting to his desire. 

He looked up into your eyes, checking with you to see if you would allow him to venture further and then moving further anyway, unable to quell his lurid hunger. His fingers found the swell of your breast, the heavy flesh hanging like ripe, sweet fruit, ready to be tasted. A thumb slipped across your nipple, encouraging it to tighten into a little peak, just plump enough to fit into his wet mouth. 

Without lifting your shirt off of you, he bent his head and suckled on your taut nipple through its fabric. He wet the cloth and your skin, and when he pulled his mouth away, the dampness lingered, teasing you with the memory and lingering on you, chilling your flesh. Another swipe of his thumb and you heard yourself let out quiet little mewls, whining and needy. His immediate, chuffed grin made you blush with shame. 

So, you took your revenge. You reached your hand across the supple leather of his riding pants and found the tip of his fat cock hanging trapped and turgid halfway down his muscular thigh. You used your finger to draw tiny circles around his head, knowing he could feel it. To your satisfaction, his eyes fluttered closed, lost in the sensation. 

Then, his hands plundered under your top, scrunching the fabric up to your collar, revealing your skin to him. As you messaged his heavy cock, you watched him sigh as he admired your curves, drinking you in like a desert palm, his hard root stretching towards its oasis. 

“Take me out, love. Please,” he begged you softly, kissing you between his gentle whispering words, and you knew what he wanted. 

You yanked at his button to pop it off, and you pinched at the zipper, listening to the metallic whir of its teeth as you freed him. 

He wasn’t wearing anything under his leathers, which drove you wild. He must have been so sensitive during his ride, feeling every bit of the garment’s texture and folds as he straddled his machine. 

You reached for him and he let out a dark groan. His voice became threatening all at once, and he grabbed at you with all of his might, drawing your attention with his words,

“Both hands… ungh, ahh, please. Please touch me with both of your hands, love.”

There was plenty of his length for you to comply, and even with both of your hands, his swollen, rigid girth was still a challenge to manage. You focused on his head, watching as his whole body responded to your touch.

John pulled you in for another kiss, forcing his tongue down your throat, filling your mouth with his heat, crushing you to his chest, abandoning all of his earlier tenderness in favor of lustful fury. 

As he ravaged your mouth, you felt his cock slipping through your hands on its own and you realized that he was using his hips to thrust himself through your grip. You tried to help him, matching his pace, but that only spurred on his carnal want. 

He was moaning into your mouth, and you could feel the hum of his joy against your lips. With each shameless thrust, he cried for you in that dark brimstone timbre, aching and full of longing. 

“John…” you whispered, breaking away to catch your breath, saying his name like a prayer. 

Adding to the drama, a long peal of thunder shattered the sky, killing the lights in your shop. But, you were both so worked up by one another, the shock of a blown fuse paled in comparison, and your eyes stayed locked on each other’s, bound together, unable to look away. Unwilling. 

But, he paused, staring at you, wanting something from you, something more. 

You gasped when he lifted you, rumpled clothes and all, right off the couch. He shouldered the door to the tiny room and walked quickly to his bike sitting you sideways on the seat. You braced yourself with one hand on the tank and one on the tail, waiting for his next whim. 

He was working on your clothes, peeling off your coveralls and shucking off your layers until he found your panties. When he saw the fabric, he paused. You fretted for a moment until you felt the cool, stormy wind blow across the damp gusset. Then, you knew what he was looking at. You were soaking through your panties, and there he was, transfixed on the darkening stain. 

“Wanna taste you, love. Want you in my mouth…” 

John fell to his knees in a flash, his cock still free and flagging up and down, wet with his precome. You squirmed a bit, unsure of your scent and your sweat from your earlier work. 

Those gentle eyes had been replaced with a sinister warning. He pinned you with them as if to say, move away and I’ll bloody drag you back. 

He didn’t bother to kiss the softness of your belly nor your thighs. He wanted one thing, but you didn’t expect him to take you quite like this. He didn’t peel down your panties, instead eating you right through the thin cotton, sucking on the wet cloth and making lewd squelching noises, lapping his tongue over your soaking lips and sucking at your flavor with his eager lips.

“Oh, shit…” You lamented, feeling your body go slack, submitting to him and his power. 

“Fuck…” He said between bites of his meal, “You’re so sweet… Let me… ungh, fuckin’ hell…”

He used his thumb to tug the fabric aside, revealing your gleaming pink flesh. And when he tasted you, skin on skin, John became obsessed. He was pushing his strong jaw so hard into you, working you with his mouth, making you rake your fingers through his hair just to hold onto something, you were afraid the bike might tip. 

In one ruthless motion, he tore your panties from you, ripping the sides and tucking the ruined fabric into his fist. Then, he put that same hand on his cock and began to jerk himself off, rubbing your wet cloth all over his cockhead. 

With his free hand, he grabbed the handlebar of the bike, pulling it down towards him, preventing it from falling, now able to eat you with as much reckless abandon as he liked. 

His mouth moved in long, deep thrusts, fucking you with his scruffy face, suckling at the hardening body of your clit. His tongue pressed into your swollen lips, moving between them with forceful need. As he licked you, he moved lower and lower towards your wet hole, hoping to thrust his writhing muscle inside of you, wanting nothing more than to lick you dry. 

Finally, he reached it, and the tip of his tongue slipped into your pussy, pressing through your slit and fucking you like his cock wanted to. You heard him elicit a gravelly, smoldering whine when he tasted your smooth center, and you watched as his eyes rolled back in his head, his brow furrowing in disbelief. 

Meanwhile, the rain pounded in the open garage doorway, swirling and spitting under its ebon shroud. John cared very little about it, nor did he care that you and he were nearly naked, in full view of the street. The idea that anyone could drive up and see you there, caught in his jaws, made you lose control. 

You tried to hold your voice down, but once he felt you start to come, he did everything he could to set you ablaze. His hand abandoned the handlebar, preferring instead to sink two of his large fingers inside of you, working with his tongue to stretch you open, giving him more of your ripeness to devour. 

You keened like you were on fire, and maybe you were. You thought, as the flames licked up your legs and down your arms, that maybe you would burn right up. Maybe you were a flare, ready to sear a bright scorching light through his mouth, burning his throat like whiskey, brutal and cruel. 

Your whole body had given in to the feeling as if you were an orchestra at the mercy of its conductor. If he wanted your kindling to catch, it would, and you would burn for him. You were his opus, trapped in a perpetual crescendo of his lust, an expression of his own fiery fate. 

His mouth only left your body to cry out in his own right, growling out a breathless groan as he spilled his come into your panties, smearing his cock through his own emission and mixing it with yours. 

Unable to maintain your balance, and unwilling to jeopardize his bike, you sank to the floor with him, feeling the cold concrete on your shins. John tugged you into his lap, panting into your neck, smelling strongly of your scent, his face and beard shining with it. 

You breathed together, fondling what you could reach, cradling each other as if you’d found one another again after years apart. Penelope clutching at her Odysseus, recognizing him through a sea of lesser men. 

“You alright, love?” John asked, still catching his breath, petting your cheek absentmindedly. 

You nodded, affirming your well-being,

“Mmhm. You?”

“Aye,” he smiled, laughing quietly to himself, “But, now you’ve gone and done it.”

“What?” You smiled, enjoying his joy. 

“Didn’t think runnin’ from the rain would be such a fuckin’ good time. Now, when it rains, I’ll be craving you.”

You smiled at him, letting him kiss your neck and cheek, planting his affection like little promises, deep under your skin. 

“You’re always welcome back, rain or shine.”

“How about tonight at six; dinner at my flat?” He looked up at you, hopeful. 

“As long as I get to ride this bike, it’s a date,” you teased. 

He raised his eyebrows at your challenge, and then he gave you a lascivious grin,

“Don’t worry, love. I’ve got just the ride in mind.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Reblogs and comments are much appreciated!

AO3 Link

[turbulentscrawl]

Steamy Rescues

Sorry, I'm just thinking about hot men saving my life today. Let me drool in peace

Warnings: suggestive stuff, delicious men

Naib

Your time in the chair was nearly up when Naib suddenly slammed into it at full speed. One second you were struggling against your restraints, cursing and consumed with desperate thoughts of freedom, and the next his hands were next to your head. Initially you fell silent because you were startled, but that quickly melted into a perverted sort of awe as you looked over the mercenary.

He was looming over you, muscles tense, toiled taut like a spring. His tight shirt was torn open like he’d been caught by the collar and wrenched himself free, leaving a teasing view of his sweaty, scarred, heaving chest. Some of his hair had slipped free of his hair band and clung to his damp face and neck. He was out of breath too, each exhale fanning down on you, panting less like a rescuer and more like a predator who’s cornered his prey. There was a certain musk wafting off of him…it was a bit maddening.

“I know, I know,” Naib said quickly. “You can tell me I look like shit later. We’ve got to GO.” He grabbed the bar pinning your torso to the chair and, with a flex of his biceps and feral grunt, ripped it off you.

“I’ll tell you something alright,” you gasp quietly, briefly wondering if your nose was bleeding.

Naib seemed to pay no mind to your mutterings. The last cipher popped, and the siren blaring in the distance gave you both a rush of adrenaline that overrode any lingering pain. Taking that que, Naib grabbed your wrist and all but dragged you sprinting to the gate.

When you were home free, though, he held your gaze daringly and asked, “So what did you want to tell me?”

Andrew

You had heard the disturbance of dirt nearby, but were too preoccupied with struggling to notice the source. The next second, Andrew’s dirty blonde hair (literally) popped out of the ground between your legs. He was already cursing under his breath, and shaking, just a bit. You vaguely remember hearing about Andrew being claustrophobic…. But those thoughts are washed away when he roughly grabs your thighs for support and you realize the exact position you’re in.

He had emerged a little too close to the chair and was having trouble getting out without sliding his body up against yours. The chair wobbled forward a little, hanging you over him, as one of the feet dangled into the hole he’d left in the dirt. He grabbed your caged forearms next, managing to haul himself out enough to be level with your chest.

“Can’t you help me?” he hissed, face flush with embarrassment at his predicament.

“I’m a little preoccupied,” you snap back, thankfully still having sense enough for it. Andrew clicks his tongue, hangs his head in what’s probably supposed to be shame…but his mop of hair hides his face and most of your lap from view, bringing even mor lewd thoughts to mind. “Y-you know, I’m kind of on a time crunch here!”

“Shut up, I know!” Andrew shouts. As soon as it’s out he clenches his teeth and looks over his shoulder for the Hunter, and without bothering to climb out of his hole starts fumbling with your restraints. When you pop free, the angle and weight of him clinging to you throws you both to the ground, your chest right on his face.

He screeched like a schoolgirl, but his tomato-red face was endearing enough to override most of the fear you felt for the remainder of the match.

Luchino

Though no one called him such, Luchino was a healer in his own right.

His skilled hands had patched you up twice already this match, and though the pain from Michiko’s cuts lingered, you could hardly complain when you thought about how Luchino had loomed over you. He was a polite man, but no-nonsense. Whenever you appeared at his cipher, alone and bleeding, he shoved you to your knees beneath him and got right to work. You couldn’t say if it was the adrenalin, but you were acutely aware of the heat radiating off his body the whole time. Of the gentle ghosting of his claws on your back, making you shiver. When he tied the bandages tight—too tight, almost, but he said that’s how they’re supposed to be—he grunted and huffed in your ear.

“All done,” he said, smirking. “Take these, too.” Luchino straightened up, but instead of returning to his cipher he applied some of that mystery serum to his forearm—his sleeves rolled up deliciously—and peeled away a hard patch of scales. You were too entranced by the oil-slick glisten it left on his skin to question why he was handing them to you.

Before you could stand, a butterfly alighted on your shoulder. Luchino reacted incredibly quickly; you blinked and he was hunched over you again, arms caging you fully to his chest. A sound like cracking glass met your ears the same time as his displeased hiss. Before you could ask, he grabbed you by the waist and threw you into a forward sprint, ordering “Go!”

[whimsyfinny]

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Charlie discovers the Winchester boys to be struggling with keeping the bunker tidy, looking after themselves and being able to do their job simultaneously. Luckily she has a friend who’s from a Hunter family that is in need of work and can help them with research. Or so she thought that’s what her job would be. When Dean sees your more domesticated side, his head won’t stop swimming with all the wrong ideas.

Slow burn, enemies to lovers, smut

Warnings: language

Chapter Word Count: 2288

—-MDNI—-

A/N: AHHHHHHHHH IM SOOOOOOOO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG ITS NOT EVEN A SPICEY CHAPTER… I hope it’s ok! Let me know of any errors as I’m the only proof reader .

——————————————————————

Please read the below:

Prologue Chapter 1

Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Chapter 4 Chapter 5

Chapter 6 Chapter 7

Chapter 8pt1

Chapter 8pt2

Chapter 9

I’m Not Your F*cking Maid

Chapter 10

I stood in the kitchen over the stove, the smell of bacon tickling my nose as it sizzled in the pan. Watching the fat and grease splutter, my mind replayed the rapturous events of last night with every tantalising memory bringing heat to my skin and fluttering to my pulse. The simple thought of Deans hands on me set my whole body aflame. Not to mention that I woke up in his room, in his arms, listening to his soft breathing as he slept peacefully - not a single crease between his brows as he slumbered unburdened. I had crept out, not wanting to torment myself by staying by his side until he awoke.

I had eaten breakfast alone; neither of the boys rising early enough for us to eat together, so I tucked in whilst the food was still hot. I was a mixture of grateful and ungrateful in this instance. Grateful, because I could be left alone with my sinful thoughts - and ungrateful, because I didn’t want to be left alone with my sinful thoughts. They were driving me insane, spinning around and around inside my head. I desperately needed to remind myself that Dean Winchester was an insufferable jackass who seemed to be making it his life’s mission to get under my skin. And I couldn’t let him.

Oh Bobby, if you could see me now, you’d be so disappointed in my life choices…

I had just tidied the kitchen and placed the food in the fridge when I heard the front door open and close and I made my way to the main room - Charlie appearing at the top of the stairs wielding half a dozen shopping bags.

“Good morning bitches!” She beamed as she began making her way down, right as Sam and Dean strode in, sleep weighing on their features. I opened my mouth to respond but my gaze snagged on Dean, who was already looking at me and my words evaporated in my mouth. We stared at each other, both of us with a sort of dumbfounded look about our faces. Charlie stepped next to me, looking between us.

“I said… good morning bitches! No? Anyone?”

Without saying a word I grabbed her hand through the countless loops of shopping bag handles and dragged her through the bunker until we reached my room. I pushed her through the door and slammed it behind us, leaving the frenzy in the hallway as we looked at each other in silence. I huffed out a sigh, running my hands through my hair before cupping my cheeks. She dropped the bags and sat on the edge of my bed.

“What’s going on with you? Are you ok? You see-”

“I fucked Dean.”

“No!”

“Twice.”

“NO!”

I nodded and sat next to her as she jumped up, a wild look on her face.

“You fucked the guy you beat the shit out of?”

I nodded again, biting my lip and cringing.

“I thought you hated him?”

“I do. I mean, I don’t hate him. He just infuriates me so much.”

She pauses for a second, smirking and raising her brows as she sits down beside me.

“Was it good?”

I closed my eyes and breathed out, memories flooding my brain.

“Oh my God Charlie you have no idea…” I crisscross my legs and face her, and she does the same. We look like a couple of teenage girls talking about our high school crushes at a sleepover.

“That good?”

“It was the best sex I’ve ever had in my life. He’s ruined me,” I sighed as I saw her wicked expression, her gaze flitting between myself and the shopping bags abandoned on the floor.

“What?”

She picked up one of the bags and plunged her hand in, fishing around for a second before pulling out an outfit. There were… bunny ears?

OH

A slutty bunny outfit was thrown onto the bed, the bodysuit crafted with expertise and soft black velvet, with shaping-bones ascending the bodice and plush padding in the bra cups. The white cuffs were made of soft, pressed cotton, and amongst it all I spotted a little fluffy tail.

“Why have you bought me a Playboy outfit?” I raised an eyebrow, unable to stop myself from finding out if the tail was as soft as it looked. It was. Charlie beamed.

“Because the girls at this club are known for their irresistible aesthetic. You’ll need to blend in. But don’t worry,” she gestured to the other bags, “if you don’t want to be a bunny I bought you more.”

“Of course they wear outfits…” I groaned, knowing that the boys will never let me live this down.

“Plus…” Charlie wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, “now that I know you’re FINALLY getting laid, you can actually put these towards their intended use.”

I smirked and threw a pillow at her.

“Oh yeah? And when was the last time you got laid?”

She rolled off the bed dramatically before throwing the pillow back at me.

“A lady never tells!”

“Bullshit!” I laughed, before grabbing the outfit off the covers and headed to the bathroom to try it on.

*

The afternoon passed by quickly, most of it spent trying on those ridiculous outfits that Charlie had bought for me. I must have tried on a dozen, ranging from ‘let’s only cover flaps and nips,’ to ‘you’re gonna need x-ray vision’. I went for something in between, not too scandalous but enough skin on show to get the wolves howling. Charlie lounged around on my bed reading comics and muttering to herself whilst I busied away getting ready, doing my hair and makeup and quadruple checking that this ridiculous outfit wasn’t going to spontaneously explode off my body. Overall the whole ordeal took around five hours from start to finish - six if you include lunch and coffee breaks, and six and a half hours if you took into account all the occasions that Deans ego led him to believe that we ‘might need a mans opinion’ on the matter. Said ego had many a door slammed in his face.

Evening had rolled around and I pulled a long coat over myself - another gift from Charlie - making sure that it covered everything not meant for outside a club environment. Or Comic Con, actually, because I eventually learnt that Charlie had purchased this particular outfit from a cosplay website. It explained a lot to be honest. From the quality fabric to the delicate lace trims and tiny petticoats, it was made to a much higher standard than anything else she’d brought with her. Adorning the final touch upon my head, I exited my room before joining the others in the research room, my heels clicking softly on the hard floor.

Upon arrival, all eyes were on me. On my face, my cloaked body, my exposed calves and heeled feet. It was like every other gaze in this room was trying to see through the wool of the overcoat concealing the surprise beneath; a present to be unwrapped… a meal to be devoured. I wasn't sure who to look at, every set of eyes hot with expectation so I chose to study the ribbons on the top of my stilettos, observing in great detail how the fabric shined in the dim lighting. A moment passed before Sam cleared his throat.

“Come on guys, let's get going.”

It should have been Sam that I looked at when I replied, but my eyes were drawn to Dean like a compass to North. His jaw was tight and his eyes dark, as though it pained him to not know what I was wearing. Although he could have been thinking anything really, as we hadn't exactly spoken much since the tantalising events of the previous night and we definitely hadn't spoken about what had happened. I think we were both well aware of the dangerous situation we were putting ourselves in, despite trying to act oblivious to any consequences. We both knew at some point the conversation needed to be had.

“Yes,” I replied to Sam, my voice cracking from the anxiety starting to crawl up my spine, “let's get going before I freeze to death.”

*

The car ride was quiet. Too quiet. Dean was in a weird headspace and didn't crack any of his usual jokes or poke fun at anyone in the car. Sam hadn't made eye contact with me since I gave him the dance, and whenever our eyes met his face erupted into a red-hot blush. Tapping away on her tablet, Charlie paid no mind to any of the silence at first, both of us in the back seat minding our own business. However after a long wait at a red light, she glanced over at me before pulling out her phone and tapped away. It didn't take long for my own phone to vibrate. Retrieving it from my pocket, I opened the message from her.

Chazzie: wtf is going on with you and these guys?

I sighed and wrote my reply.

Me: it's a long story… and tbh I didn't give you all the details about me and Dean…

Chazzie: bitch this is a long drive, tell me! I know Sam won't look at you and Dean won't STOP looking at you. And I know Dean, he's normally a ‘no strings’ kinda guy. But bitch you've got that man on a leash.

I sighed again, throwing her a look before giving in and typing away.

Me: so Dean made me annoyed and told me I would be no good for this mission because he doubted I could even do a basic lap dance. Well, it ground my gears so yesterday evening I put on some music and gave a lap dance to prove my point.

Chazzie: ooh I bet he was in heaven, I remember when you took those classes! You were soooo good <3

Me: awww thanks babes <3 but I didn't give the dance to Dean… I danced for Sam…

I heard her choke on her own spit as she read the message and she threw me a disbelieving look.

Chazzie: WHAT?! Why Sam?! I mean it explains why he won't look at you. But whhhyyy? When you've already fucked D-boi?

Me: tbh I was mad at Dean and I wanted him to suffer. Plus I had a point to prove, he needed to be able to see the show to know I was good.

Chazzie: I mean that's true! How did he take it when you danced for Sam?

Me: tbh I don't think he was best impressed at first, but then I think he just enjoyed the show. … I do feel a bit bad for Sam tho for dragging him into his. I feel bad for using him.

Chazzie: don't! I can tell he loved every minute of it from the permanent blush on his face hehehe. You're a wicked woman tho. Really torturing those boys. How long did it take for Dean to come to your room?

Me: ughhh don’t even joke… you make me sound like I'm in some shitty YA novel… and technically he didn't come to my room. I bumped into him in the corridor. Then he told me he ‘couldn't stop thinking about me’. The we made out and then we eventually fucked in my room.

Chazzie: Welp somehow you've made Dean Winchester your bitch. Gold medal for you, because I've seen soooo many girls try and fail. So did he wake up in your room or did he go back to his? Because this is fucking important.

I looked at her and felt my face heat up, a grin appearing on her face as she playfully smacked my arm.

Chazzie: bitch seriously?! He stayed the night?!

Me: technically no… my sheets were ruined so we slept in his bed instead …

Before anymore texts could be exchanged, I felt the car slow to a stop and the handbrake engaged, engine flicking off. Dean turned to face us, doing a double take over my blushing expression and Charlie's wild grin. He mumbled something under his breath about this making him nervous before he faced forward again and Sam turned around instead, his soft gaze scanning my made-up eyes and lips.

“Are you sure you're ok with this (Y/n)? Because it's still ok for you to back out now if you want.”

The older Winchester tore his gaze away from the lone two-storey building before us; its neon lights reflecting in the puddles on the pavement. Two guys in leather jackets stood outside, and I'm assuming they were security. Dean's expression turned to one of unease as he surveyed the club from a distance.

“Exactly what Sammy said. (Y/n) this is dangerous and I don't want you going in there. Back out now.”

I couldn't help but scoff and roll my eyes.

“I've not gotten this far and this fucking dressed up to give up now. Besides, my safety isn't as important as the safety of the civilians who are at risk of leaving these vamps even a day longer. You know that. That's why we do this job-”

“Look, your safety is all I give a shit about.”

Dean's assertiveness came as a slight shock, not just to myself but to him as well. We blinked at each other before I turned to Charlie.

“Do you have the paperwork and ID I need to get in?” I heard Dean sigh and turn back to face the steering wheel, cursing under his breath. Without saying another word, I took the envelope from Charlie's grasp and flung the door to the impala open, clambered out and slammed the door behind me.

——————————————————————

@suckitands33 @jackles010378 @aliceeinwonderland420 @tina-theslytherin @deans-queen @hobby27 @sobearcowboy @girls-alias @selfdestructionandrhum @ericasabe @lacilou @littlemadamred @anneanirac @deans-baby-momma @swimregulas @ashdoctor @littlemarvelstan8 @atcamillanorrman @deangirl96 @zannemes @kr804573 @foxyjwls007 @divadinag @cookiemonstermusic258 @mysterialee @ababy-girl @joonseuph0ria @mxltifxnd0m @deans-spinster-witch @st4bl3-ch40s @feyresqueen @roseblue373 @clusterfuck-meup @urinternetmom @rachiem4-blog @ceeshellecee @mojos-hidden-castle @snowayumi @evzyi @mymuseisbipolar @magssteenkamp @koharuheartfilia @spookyysinsanity @safiyas-world @uncle-eggy @happyt0exist @supernaturalstilinski @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @mrsjenniferwinchester

Up Next: Chapter 11

[hidden-snow]

✦┈⋆┈ ⋞ 〈 Ｒｕｎｎｉｎｇ Ｈｏｍｅ ｔｏ Ｙｏｕ 〉 ⋟ ┈⋆┈✦

Summary // You thought your relationship was as special to him as it was to you. You thought he loved and cherished you as much as you loved and cherished him. But when his family leaves the Omatikaya and all he has to offer is ‘I’m sorry’ when you beg and plead for him to stay with you, you realize that you were so, so wrong about him. Heartbroken and defeated, a girl barely seventeen years old, you decide that you will never love again. After all, it hadn’t meant anything to him. Years later and you are the best of the best. A strong warrior and an even better hunter, you provide for your people in every way except for a child to add to the next generation of Omatikaya people. They respect your wishes but you can hear the whispers. You can feel the concerned gazes from your parents, too old to conceive a sibling to make up for your lack of children. When he comes back, it throws you through a loop. Handsome, mighty, and different, he comes to you right away. But you promised yourself.

Warnings // Angst, a bit of stalker Neteyam, some fluff, mentions of drinking, heartbreak

Word count // 1,103

Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7

You tossed and turned all night. In the mornings, you’d wake up in a cold sweat that prickled on your skin, dripping down your face and soaking the black strands of your hair.

During the day, you tried to pretend that everything was normal. Following a routine that you used to enjoy, you realized that you were no longer happy. Everything was bland without Neteyam nearby.

He seemed to realize you’d moved on. He no longer looked over you, no longer haunted your activities.

Instead, often enough, you’d find him talking to other women, smiling and chatting as if he’d known these people all of his life.

In a way, he had known these people from childhood. So did you. Many of the women that flirted back with him had mates of their own, children that they should be caring for instead of giggling at everything he said.

Whenever you saw this, you’d clench your hands into tight fists and stalk off, anger fuming hot in your veins. You never saw how it started, but you were certain that this was his next plan at how to win you back.

And, even though you swore up and down that the anger was because of the unfaithfulness of the women who reciprocated his flirtatious moves, you had realized that the anger was actually jealousy-based.

You were jealous.

Jealous that he’d managed to quite easily move on from you and that so many women had his attention instead of you now.

Not that you would ever admit it. Especially not to him. Not after that little fight in the lush forest of your home. You knew that if you mentioned the fact that you saw red everytime you caught him hitting on a woman to Neteyam, he would realize right away that you had been lying when you’d said you had moved on.

Neteyam may be a people pleaser and an skxawng by leaving you like he did, but he wasn’t stupid. He was very smart. He would figure it out.

So you bit your lip and forced your limbs to move, taking you away from wherever he was so that you didn’t have to wrestle with yourself over confronting him or not.

Unfortunately, he saw you several times. He saw the way a fire lit in your eyes whenever a random woman would touch his arm and giggle at his words. He saw the way you fought with yourself. And, once your back was turned, he would smirk and excuse himself from the conversation to follow you.

He stuck close, watching you attempt to pretend everything was just fine.

You were a shit liar, though. Even to yourself.

If only you’d open up to him, let him back into your life and heart. Life could be full of love and joy again, if only you’d let him in.

»»——⍟——««

You’d had a long day. Off of your game, one could say if they’d seen the way you’d gone about. Your aim was crap. Your body seemed to be fighting against you with everything you tried to do. You just wanted to go home and lay on your mat, pretending you were somewhere far from here. Far from Neteyam.

As you neared your family alcove, though, you heard laughing and chuckling. Confusion sparked, before dying quickly when you poked your head in.

Neteyam sat with your parents, sipping on a clay cup as they swapped stories over the past three years.

You slip back out, contemplating. Yeah, you could probably survive one night on the ground. But did you really want to sleep outside when you had such a comfortable mat inside the warm little cavern in the wall?

After minutes of contemplation, you finally enter, pretending not to notice Neteyam, though he definitely notices you.

“Ah, Y/n, my daughter. Come sit with us. Neteyam has been telling us of his wonderful adventures. I think you will enjoy the stories,” your mother calls softly. She’s just trying to ease the awkward tension that had begun to build, but her attempts were in vain. You roll your eyes, walking to where you sleep without acknowledging what she’d suggested. You didn’t even acknowledge his existence. You didn’t want to.

You hear him say something quietly to your parents and they eagerly nod, excusing themselves to leave you alone with Neteyam.

“Rough day?” he asked, his voice gaining a softness to it that almost convinced you that he thought he was talking to a scared, wild child rather than a full-grown warrior of the Omatikaya people.

You throw him a cold look as you drop your parcel of arrows by your mat.

“Come on, Y/n. I’m trying to reconnect with you. Not as… courting or anything like that. I just want to be friends again. Like we were back when we were children. Is that really too much to ask for?”

The pleading is back again and you hesitate, not wanting to say no or yes. Because then, it’d feel like the final word in a decision. What could you say?

Yes, Neteyam. It’s too much to ask to be friends again when you’d ripped my heart out by choosing your dad over me.

Or even better, no, Neteyam. It’s not too much to ask for. I’d love to give you a second chance so that, if the time comes, you can stab me through the chest once again.

You keep your lips pressed tight against your teeth, not giving him anything despite his urging.

He sighs, running fingers through his braided locks, before setting the cup down on the rocky ground.

“Why don’t you come for a ride with me, Y/n? Just for a bit. It’ll help you feel better and maybe it’ll ease this awkward feeling between us? C’mon. You know you want to. Riding was always your favorite thing out of all the things we could do as children.”

For a moment, you want to tell him no. But what would be the harm? After all, if he tried to push you to talking, you could always ditch him and come back home.

You meet his eyes calmly, giving him a single nod.

“Okay, Neteyam. No pushing though. I’ve already told you that I don’t want to open up to you.”

He lights up, like he’s won some sort of surprise, nodding eagerly, and you can’t help but feel a little sorry for him. After all, you knew Neteyam. You agreeing to a flight with him; that was like agreeing to mate with him in his mind. He was too optimistic for his own good.

Taglist // @earthling55

[manikas-whims]

Under Deepspace

Chapter 01: To Begin, Story 02: Mysterious Light

From the first moment I saw him, I knew he'd be the one.

i had thought of playing it as unbiased, enjoying all the love interests interactions n such but right from the beginning Xavier began growing on me..

Another silver haired guy with a gorgeous face?

Ah shit! Here we go again..

the way he doesn't wake up when you pat him but he does when he hears the sound of the watch?

i think this is about how he'd rather deal with the mess himself than get more people involved/in danger..

He's also like: WHO THE FUCK DISTURBED MY PEACEFUL SLEEP!?

Ngl y'all the annoyance looks HOT 🥵 on him.. y'all can call me smitten or whatever but I'd love seeing more of this Xavier..

the second long gap where his expression goes from 🤨 to 🥺

you can see your face slowly registering in his suddenly roused, sleepy and addled brain..like OH IT'S YOU

I think (just my personal belief) that Xavier didn't intend to make direct contact with you. That his intention was to keep tabs on you from a certain distance. Like he found out you were preparing to become a Deepspace Hunter, and himself decided to work here a few years earlier on..even living in the same apartment complex as you but thats likely cuz most hunters live there..

And I think he would stayed low and kept watch over you from a distance but then on your very first mission, you encountered him by chance. I'M SORRY I'M A SUCKER FOR FATED ENCOUNTERS 😩✨

And then, he had no choice but to make direct contact/interact with you (and fall for you all over again..cause thats something he's incapable of controlling..)

Notices imminent danger!

✨STRIKES✨

y'all by this point, I was swooning 😩

the way he flinches due to the collar restraining his evol 😢

he may be used to it but the pain does affect him..

it must hurt a lot 😭

this is the expression of a man who's being targeted by innumerable organisations, wanderers being sent after him, he's probably surviving on take-outs and cup noodles, hasn't properly slept in days..

Add to that: you appearing out of nowhere so now he has to make sure to protect you, even though he trusts you can fight and protect yourself quite well..

And on top of that the collar on his neck is being a bitch!

So yeah..he's just going through it 😮‍💨

Right! Well. All good now.

Let's go and deal with that wanderer together.

Infold introduced this man right in the beginning and expected me to not completely be taken by him 😩

i’m trying to replay the story chapters, so expect more such posts about Xavier..these aren't gonna be entirely in-depth analysis but more of my commentary on how I felt when I played these chapters for the first time..

[razorblade180]

Bed History

Firefly:Caelus, I have a very important question. Silver Wolf has told me some…interesting things. So I was wondering…

Caelus:How many people have taken me to bed?

Hologram appears

Silver Wolf:You knew what I meant by Smash. Don’t even pretend. You took me to bed. *disappears*

Caelus:So that’s one person right there. There’s March dragging me and Dan Heng into interesting situations.

Firefly:*red* You’ve slept with a boy?

Caelus:I will emphasize that was not on either of our plans that day. Only March’s. Other than that, there’s Sparkle you know about Stelle.

Firefly:I’m sorry, what was that?

Caelus:Huh?

Stelle:*opens door* Naaaaah I heard that shit. You slept with who!?

Caelus:…A Masked Fool.

Firefly:What!?

Stelle:When!?

Sparkle:How!?

Caelus:I-

They all turn their heads, including Sparkle. She then looks back at them as she chews on some popcorn.

Sparkle:You’re out of popcorn by the way.

Caelus:In my defense, this happened when you were dead and the first time I saw Robin was her body fading away. The vibes were at an all time low.

Sparkle:So your favorite trash compactor was mixing drinks and trying to dance sadness away. It kinda funny in a painful way. Like a comedian trying to save his performance.

Caelus:See? She’s just annoying and yaps. You ever just wanted to shut someone up who’s so smug?

Firefly:By sleeping with them!?

Stelle:I hate to say it….but if I had ran across Aventurine again back then and he called me Ms. Stelleron one more fucking time…

Firefly:Far be it from me to predict the actions of a Fool but how the heck do you even convince someone like her to entertain that idea?

xxxxx

Sparkle:Well well well look what the cat dragged in. A funny looking raccoon confused in the big city.

Caelus:You really think you’re above all. Just the ultimate risk taker with no care in the world.

Sparkle:Don’t know what you mean. Like any supporting character, I’m filling up space and watching the show. So what if the stage blows or the performance gets canceled. Another starts, so why be scared to step on any or play whatever?

Caelus:You really are crazy.

Sparkle:Perhaps~ like I said, anything can happen so anything goes. No need to get cold feet or stuck in the same scenes.

Caelus:Ever slept with a bomb?

Sparkle:….What?

xxxxxx

Firefly:You. Are. Insane.

Sparkle:It was a good question.

Stelle:Honestly i respect the hustle.

Sparkle:Maybe don’t die and make people sad. It was a one and done. Although…I’d give the performance four stars. It makes me wonder how well the leading actress performs.

Stelle:Keep dreaming.

Firefly:*pouts*

Caelus: *pinches cheeks* I’m sowy. Don’t be mad.

Firefly:I’m not mad. Also stop playing with my face!

Caelus:Not until you’re happy again. Although this side of you is cute.

Stelle:Very cute. *pokes face* Hehehe

Firefly:*blushing* (Why are they like this so often?)…..

Sparkle:Alls well that ends well.

Stelle:I can’t tell if you’re a matchmaker or a home wrecker.

Sparkle:Why not both? Don’t put me in box. Unless it’s with a certain fallen angel. Hehe, oh how I bet dear Chicken Wing Boy would cherish any familiar face these days. The Songbird might actually faint if her brother wanted some elation in his life. Only time will tell.

Firefly:I’m telling Robin you said that.

Sparkle:It’s hilarious you think I haven’t told her this myself. Her brother is hot and everyone knows it. He’s gotta put his sins somewhere and I know where.

CFS:You are an actual menace to society.

Sparkle:Said the Stellaron Hunter with her two stellarons. *vanishes*

Stelle:…So do you need my list of people?

Firefly:It’s two people and one is me. The other you just complimented his craziness.

Stelle:….I gotta step my game up.

Firefly:That’s not the message you should take from this!

Caelus:What’s your history.

Firefly:Just one. Could be two but maybe I should reevaluate.

Caelus:I respect that decision.

Firefly:…I mean you can sound a little disappointed; nothing is set in stone.

Stelle:Don’t fold so easily! You had me on the back foot blushing and kicking my feet. What’s so different here!?

Firefly:Silver Wolf gave me FOMO!

Caelus:Did she on purpose, or did you ask questions and never stopped?

Firefly:Not important.

Hologram appears

Firefly:I asked questions.

Caelus:Thanks for wingmaning.

Silver Wolf:Eh, I was bored and out of resin.

Stelle:(Step one; find a wingman…)

[igotanidea]

Backyard : Jason Todd x stripper!reader

The plan was simple.

Get inside the strip club, gather some intel on the newest and yet already one of the most influential crime lord in Gotham and get the f out.

The last part got a bit more complicated, when Jason figured out that on this particular day, in this particular club a bachelor’s party was taking place.

Shit was not enough of a word to describe the situation he found himself in.

Should have gone dressed in his Red Hood gear instead of civilian mode.

Should have never let Dick accompany him.

Two hot guys in the club full of horny men and girl strippers trying to lead a mission.

One dying inside, the other going with the flow.

What could possibly go wrong, right?

Well while Dick was having the time of his life, Jason actually tried to focus on the task and uncovering the identity of the guy who was recently raging terror on Gotham. Tried being the key word here. Instead of pursuing the wild game he found himself being a prey rather than a hunter. A bunch of unknown girls tried to grope him, seduce him, damn, even give him a lap dance, all that making Jason’s hair stand on his head as he struggled to reach the back door and break free.

What was a torture to him, seemed to be a lot of fun to his adopted brother though.

And what was even worse, was the fact that Dick, with his charming smile and  ladies-swooning attitude, would probably end up knowing more than him and it made Jason grit his teeth and clench his fists.

“You look like you need  a smoke.”

“What I need is five minute alone”

“Well I’m sorry to break it to you pea brain, but this-” the girl, who judged by the outfit was another stripper, waved her hand around the backyard of the club “-is as close to alone as you can get here.”

Right.

As if the couple making out against a wall, going way to close to public sex, a homeless man sleeping next to the dumpster and a few shabby wild cats, tearing with their teeth something that was definitely not suitable for eating, even by animals, could be described with that word.

Jason sighed half in frustration, half in relief.

“Fuck.”

“Mhm. Yeah, close enough.” the girl agreed as her eyes landed on the man who was now drilling the woman against the wall, apparently causing her enough pleasure to let out a breathless moans.

“You’re enjoying exhibitionism?” Jason raised an eyebrow at girl’s unamused gaze.

“I’m learning new techniques.” She spit out.

“What?”

“Don’t make me say it again, pea brain.”

“Hey!”

“What? If you believed it, you truly deserve the nickname. I’m a stripper not a prostitute.”

“Is she one?” Jason pointed towards the other woman and reached to his pocket in search of a lighter and cigarettes “Fuck!’

“Nah, she’s just faking for the hell of it. Touch starved one, if you ask my opinion. Would settle for what she can get at a club like this. ”

“Do you have a fag?” Jason couldn’t care less about the answer, more focused on getting his own high and calming nerves, that was something he needed at the moment.

“I’m not sharing with a stranger.” She chuckled “seems way too intimate to me.”

“So what, you only give the guy a pipe on a third date?”

“No one got that far.”

“So you’re a stripper with a high standards?” Jason smirked

“Well. As the movies show, there are only three reason of why a girl is a stripper.”

“Don’t tell me you are a sucker for Pretty woman or another bullshit like this.”

“Nah. I’m just a working girl who has to raise a three year old illegitimate child and has no real qualifications for other job.” She send him an innocent feigned smile and tossed a pack of cigarettes his way.

“Three year old kid huh?” he caught it mid-air and lighted one up immediately exhaling deeply, when the familiar scent and flavour of nicotine filled his lungs “How old are you?”

“Rude.” She leaned on the railing “And you only proving my point.”

“Which is?”

“Pea brain.”

“Made you believe I believed that bullshit story, didn’t I?” another  cloud of smoke flew into the air, quickly joined by the other once the girl started to enjoy her own cigarette.

“Congratulations. A guy from a good house just tricked a stripper in the club. Great job, buddy.”

“What makes you think I am a guy from a good house? Maybe I’m a pervert who –“ he stopped for  a second as the sound of woman and man coming chimed into the sentence “maybe I’m a guy like this?”

The unnamed girl only smiled and shook her head causing her hair to flow around her face.

“If you were a guy like that you would just stay inside letting Candy or Chastity give you a lap dance.”

“Are those real names?”

“Pea brain.”

“Right. Sorry.” Jason chuckled involuntarily, much to his own disbelief. “What’s yours then?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know.”

“Pretty much why I asked.”

“Pretty much why you run away from the inside and found yourself here.”

“How do you even get clients? You’re insufferable.”

“And I got big mouth. Comes in handy sometimes.”

Before he could stop himself he chuckled again.

Jason Peter Todd, Red Hood, adopted son of Bruce Wayne was smoking outside the strip club, with a working girl, having more fun than he ever had in his entire life.

“It’s not comedy central, stop laughing.”

“You could be a stand upper for sure.”

“Well – if you think about it, I am kind of a stand upper…”

This time Jason fully laughed and the girl couldn’t help a tiny smile on her own face.

“Jerk.” She threw his direction biting on the inside of her cheek, focusing on the cigarette rather than on the guy next to her.

“Bitch.” Jason’s reaction was immediate and completely instinctive.

Any other girl would probably take that as an offence but she was familiar with the fandom and popculture classic.

“What demon are you after, Winchester?”

“Too many of my own to go looking for more.” He sighed

“Yeah tell me about it.” She did the same and for a moment they just stood in undisturbed silence. Even the cats seemed to sense something was going on and went completely quiet.

“What’s your name?” Jason finally asked “for real, not the stripper one and not the fake one you’re probably thinking about giving me.”

“You first.”

“Oh no. I’m a gentleman. Ladies comes first.”

“Idiot.”

“Moose.”

“Stop it!” she laughed at another TV series reference

“Tell me your name.”

“Yy/n” she said finally “Happy now?”

“Rapturous.”

“Splendid. You owe me  a cigarette, now you know what girl to give it back to.”

“Sounds like you’re asking me on a second date.”

Before she got a chance to come up with some quick respond, another working girl came out the club clearly searching for y/n, giving her just one warning look before her eyes travelled to Jason and then back to y/n.

“Fine!” Y/N rolled her eyes in frustration “god damn it, there’s something like a break for fuck’s sake! What the hell is happening now? I swear one day I will burn this hell hole -” the rest of the sentence died behind the door along with the walking away girl.

Jason was finally left alone.

Truly alone.

But it felt oddly dissatisfying to smoke by himself in the dingy backyard, that suddenly became grey and empty.

Y/N.

A girl who seemed to have all the answers.

Infuriating and keeping a man on his toes since the first minute from the meeting.

And who called him pea brain.

Jason smirked to himself, while still smoking the borrowed cigarette in the empty backyard of the strip club.

Letting himself forget the mission for a moment.

don't worry people we'll get "there" ...

[badfanfictionaire]

It’s not unusual for a vampire to go their whole existence wishing to find someone to spend forever with.  They’ll probably have five or six lovers over their lifetime, until they inevitably got snuffed out by some happy-go-lucky monster hunter and perish like a pathetically mortal soul.  But, they’ll probably never find the one before that. Eddie’s never heard of a vampire meeting their soulmate, at least not in real life.  Lore would suggest that women swoon over vampire lords, and swear allegiance to them for as long as they both shall live.  But, lore would also have you believe that all vampires can turn into bats (which, bummer, they can’t), and that they’re all allergic to garlic (which again is untrue, garlic bread is delicious) (Why is it that only the shitty parts of lore are true, like the whole stake through the heart bit?). In Eddie’s experience, the minute you ask a girl if she wants to spend forever forever with you, she freaks the fuck out and takes off.  (Which, ouch??)

Needless to say, Eddie doesn’t even consider the possibility that he might meet his soulmate backstage at a talent show in some podunk town in Indiana.  Life gets boring as hell when you’ve been alive for six hundred some odd years, so, from time to time he liked to get creative with his human persona.  In 1980 he decided that with a buzzcut and ill-fitting clothes, he could probably still pass as a middle schooler, especially if Wayne told the school he’d been held back or something.  So he decides to try going back to school.  He kind of underestimated how different school was going to be in 1980 though, given that he hadn’t been in school since the 1960s.  Things had changed a lot, and he stuck out like a sore thumb.  

He met Christine Elizabeth Cunningham on September 12th, 1980, and he just knew he had to win her over some how.  By 1986, he’d realized that was going to be a lot harder than he’d anticipated…

But, in March of that year, he caught a break, Chrissy broke up with her long-time boyfriend and needed a shoulder to cry on.  And it just so happened he had not one but two leather-clad shoulders to offer.  And so, offer he did.  As luck would have it, having existed for six hundred-some-odd years finally paid off, because if there was one thing he’d become quite proficient at in his life it was being a good listener.  Tearfully she told him everything, from how controlling her mother was to how much of a moldy schnitzel Jason was. 

Somehow they ended up back at his place and got high, laying with their faces inches apart on his bed. 

“Can I tell you a secret?” 

She nods. 

“I’m a vampire,” he whispers.

She giggles. “Sure don’t look like one to me.”

“No? Not even with the pale skin and the whole dark aesthetic?” 

“No,” she says, making grabby hands at him, “You’re too squishy.” 

She scooches a bit closer and her hands land on his shoulders, “You listen to me, Eddie Munson, you are not a mean scary vampire like everyone says you are.  You’re just a big soft teddy bear who wears black and… well, you’re too hot to be a crusty old vampire anyway.”

His breath catches in his throat with the way her big blue eyes bore into his soul, but then she lets out another giggle and he can’t help but laugh too. 

Later, when they’re starting to sober up, he rolls over to face her again. 

“Can I tell you something serious?”

“Anything,” she says. 

“I really am a vampire.”

Her eyes rove over his face, and don’t see any hint of it being a joke. 

“Oh.” 

“Wanna see?” 

“See what?” she asks, her eyebrows furrowing together. 

“My, uh, crusty old vampire fangs?” 

Hesitantly she nods.  Maybe she’s expecting him to produce a pair of those flimsy imitation fangs they sell at Party City, but he knows she’s probably not expecting him to open his mouth and protract his fangs. 

“Holy shit,” she murmurs, her eyes wide.

“I’m sorry,” he says, immediately retracting them and regretting having frightened her.  She was just so disarming, he couldn’t help it.  He wanted her to know him, the real him, even if it meant they only had today. 

“What for?” 

“I’m a monster, Chrissy,” he says, feeling his face flush with embarrassment. 

“Hey, look at me,” she says, her tiny fingers pushing his chin back up so his eyes meet hers again, “You are not a monster, Eddie.  I mean, maybe in the literal sense, but, in all the other ways? I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who was less of a monster than you.”

“Sweetheart-”

“Whatever self-deprecating you’re going to say, I won’t hear it.”

“I shouldn’t have sprung that on you,” he says. 

Chrissy gives him a one-shoulder shrug. 

“You know, you’re not what I thought you’d be like,” she says softly. 

“Mean and scary? Not even with the fangs?” 

She nods, then, “I’m not scared, you know.” 

“You should be.” He brushes his thumb against her cheek. 

“Kiss me?” 

“Are you sure?” 

“Please,” she urges sweetly. 

And so he does, gently, tenderly, with every ounce of himself.  

“I’ve loved you since I first laid eyes on you,” he breathes when they separate for air, “Even back then-”

“Back then?”

“The middle school talent show,” he says, remembering it fondly. 

“I’m sorry, I don’t remember,” she replies, averting her eyes in shame.

“I wouldn’t remember me from back then either,” he assures her, “But, perchance, we could continue from here? Where we are now?”

“I’d like that,” she says, a contented smile replacing her frown. 

It’s much too soon to ask her to be his bride, or to ask for her to join him in the afterlife, but he knows deep down in his heart that one day she’ll agree to both propositions.  He’d wait another hundred years if he had to, as long as it meant he would finally have his soulmate by his side where she belonged.  Thankfully, it doesn’t take nearly that long for his dream to come true. 

In the year 1990, Edward James Munson and Christine Elizabeth Cunningham are united in both holy matrimony and the afterlife.  And so, the young man who once believed he was destined to wander the Earth alone forever, found he was no longer trapped in solitude.  Instead, hand in hand, he and his true love would navigate the world as one.  (Until, ya know, they inevitably got snuffed out by some happy-go-lucky monster hunter and perished like any other pathetic mortal souls.)

👻👻👻👻

(read on AO3)

[bakugosbratx]

Tw: NSFW 18+ Content. Yandere themes, suicidal thoughts and attempts, religious beliefs, heaven and hell au, hunter and prey trope, noncon, abuse, foul language, choking, degrading, etc.

Words: 2.1K

Not beta read

A/N: this took me way too long and I’m sorry asdfghjkl. This is for my twinie’s poppin’ cherries collab. Hope y’all enjoy!

Tags: @nymphoheretic

JJK masterlist

Run.

That is all you keep telling yourself when your legs want to give out. Your lungs were practically shriveling in your chest, your rigid breathing choking you with each long stride through the dense dark forest. Still, your will to get away from this evil being was too strong.

You must fight.

The mud caked your bare feet as you continue to run, periodically gazing over your shoulder to see if he is behind you. Though you could not see him, you knew he was lingering. You knew better than to fall for a faux sense of security. The beast was cruel like that.

Peaking over your shoulder one last time to see if you can see the demon, you lost your footing on a log that blocked your path. “Shit!” You screeched as you fell to the moss covered ground below, your kneecaps being scraped from the bark of the log.

Anger consumes you as you hear the devil’s hysterical laughter echo the forest. You could not pinpoint his location, but you knew he was too close for comfort. He was everywhere.

“I will not submit to you!” You call out into the darkness, your nails digging into soft green plants below.

“Then you better continue running.” The cocky male retorted, his voice so close to your ear you could feel his warm breath. Though, when you quickly shift your focus to where he should have been, he was nowhere to be found. The hairs on your body rose, kicking in what was left of your adrenaline.

Finding your way back to your feet, you continue running into the never ending night. Laughter and red eyes peered from multiple angles, trees falling all around, and one almost landing right on top of you.

Shutting your eyes tight, preparing from impact, a large pair of muscular arms lifted you into his grip. That was a much worse feeling than being squished by a humongous tree.

“Let me down, you damn devil!” You demanded, clawing at his bare flesh with your nails as well as kicking him. “Is that anyway to thank me for saving you from a falling tree?” The male, who you knew as Sukuna, responded dryly, opening a portal back to his domain.

“You didn’t save me! I wanted to die! You should have let me, damn you!” You hiss in frustration. You have not been in Sukuna’s captivity for very long, but you knew for sure that you wanted out and after so many failed attempts of escaping this beast, you knew the only true way out was death. A death that you are always so close to, but Sukuna will never give you.

Sukuna carried you to the hot spring that was near his bedroom. “Get cleaned up. You smell like a wet dog.”

You opened your mouth to have a sarcastic comment, but decided to keep it for a rainy day. Sukuna usually didn’t care about what condition you were in when he threw you back in your cage. You could not recall the last time you had a proper bath since in his captivity so you were not going to argue with him.

“You got twenty minutes. Don’t do anything stupid.” Sukuna ordered, dropping you into the warm depths below without warning. You contemplated staying down there until your heart stopped beating, but you knew Sukuna would just save you at the very last second. It wasn’t worth the energy.

Swimming back up, you gaze around through the mist that illuminated the room. Sukuna wasn’t in view, but you knew he was somewhere, watching. He always watched you even when you thought he wasn’t. No thought goes undetected, no action goes unnoticed, and no word falls on deaf ears. Sukuna was always around.

Always.

Bathing in silence, all of the dirt that has collected on your body washed away. The magical properties of the hot spring have returned any hair on your body back to its natural beautiful state. Your unmoisturized skin turned back to its soft ways before you got captured. For once in weeks, you felt like you again.

Twenty minutes came and went quicker than you would have appreciated as you heard Sukuna’s deep voice echo the room. “Your twenty minutes are up, brat. Report to me at my throne.”

You arched a brow, never being requested to visit Sukuna at his throne. Was he trusting you to make this journey on your own to him? Is this some other test you are unaware of? Either way, you had no choice in the matter.

Stepping out of the water, you attempted to cover yourself. “The bastard didn’t even give me a towel.” You muttered under your breath, rolling your eyes. You should have known he was not going to give you any sort of clothing or covering for your naked body.

“Don’t keep me waiting.” Sukuna impatiently reminded you. Rolling your eyes once more, you exit the hot spring and walk through the bedroom your large metal cage was located in. This was also where Sukuna would “sleep”. The room was very nice. It was one you wouldn’t expect from a devil like him.

The floor was a red velvet that matched the comforter on his gigantic bed. It was bigger than any bed you have seen before considering Sukuna was very large in his natural form. There wasn’t much lighting in here, but Sukuna was only there to deal with you or go to sleep. So, the lighting didn’t really matter. Still, to the unknowing, the room looked like a sex dungeon and you would soon find that out as well.

Walking out of the room, you stroll over to the king who sat on his throne. His chin rested on his palm as he peered down at you. “‘Bout time you showed up. What did I say about keeping me waiting?”

Intimidation filled your lungs. Any remark you had vanished as your eyes met his crimson ones. Something about the way Sukuna sat on his throne reminded you of your place. It also didn’t help that you are naked. This was all a tactic to remind you of your place which is beneath him.

“Got nothing to say, hm?” Sukuna smirked, seeing you choke on your words. You could not even respond before the devil was right beside you, circling you as he gazed over your naked body. Taking in a huge whiff of you, he chuckled. “No matter how hard you try to hide it, your purity always seeps through.”

“W-What?” You stammered, already not liking what he is implying. Is he just saying it to get your riled up? To fall into another one of his wicked mind games?

Sukuna grabbed your chin as he peered down into your beautiful irises, “have you not wondered why I brought you here? I thought you humans were somewhat curious,” he hushed you with his long, cold, black talon on your lips, “you think your virginity will get you into heaven? With a blood as pure as yours, they would be stupid to turn you away.”

Sukuna’s eyes darkened with lust, “that’s why I must taint it.”

Your pupils widened as your bottom lip quivered. “P-Please, don’t d-do this.” You whimpered. This only fueled the devil more as he licked your tears.

“Even your tears taste pure.” He hummed, his crazed laughter echoing your mind. The daunting evil that took over you as the demon grabbed you by your throat to his bedroom.

Throwing you onto his bed, the wicked male’s tongue worships every inch of your body. His venomous saliva stings, your skin reviving a burning sensation as if it was in the sunshine too long. This can’t be how you let him win, Y/N. You must fight.

You have to stay pure.

Kicking, screaming, punching, anything you did was useless. This only amped up the Devil even more as he rested in between your legs, his shiny white fangs grazing across your sex. “I shall now feast on what’s mine.” Sukuna smirked, his tongue gliding over your bundle of nerves in between your folds.

Sukuna’s tongue swirls over your clit, your back already arching as you grip the sheets with your fingertips. A hollow moan fell from your breath, tears pricking your eyes. “P-Please, stop.” You whimpered, disguised as pleasure more than pleas for him to quit. You have never experienced this type of sensation before. Sure, you have masturbated, but the overwhelming beauty and pain never felt like this.

Sukuna made sure to pleasure all the right spots. Two fingers slipped into your entrance as he enjoyed every second of you. Knuckles deep, they curled and sent your eyes rolling in the back of your head.

“F-Fuck.” You mumbled out, mentally cursing at yourself for finding any sense of joy in this. He was invading you in so many ways. What was even worse is that your body caved and creamed all over him. This was just the first step to ruining what is left of your innocence.

Sukuna made sure not a drop went to waste as he gobbled you up. You hated that your body went against your mental commands, but you were slowly falling into the palm of the devil’s hand. Your purity slowly faded away as he removed his robe to reveal his huge cock that is now teasing your bundle of nerves.

“C’mon, y’know you want it. Beg for it.” Sukuna smugly smirked, seeing how much of a good girl you can be for him. He may have stripped your innocence away, but he expected you to have a tad bit left in you.

“N-No.” You whimpered in defiance, your body somehow too weak to fight against this beast that laid on top of you.

“Still got a little brat left in ya, huh?” Sukuna contemplated aloud with an arched brow. The gleaming crazed look that danced in his irises never vanished as well as his daunting smile. “Perfect.”

You could not even attempt to protest as his cock enters inside of your weeping cunt, your nails digging into the satin sheets for support. Your tight pussy could hardly adjust to his girth as he began aggressively stroking himself in-and-out of you. The tip of the monster’s cock was kissing your cervix with not a single ounce of mercy. The pain he inflicted on you was just feeding his sadistic side.

Just like before, your body was still operating against you. Each time his cock removed itself from your depths, your pussy begged for it back. The emptiness for those minor seconds was a sweet relief yet ugly despair you cannot seem to bare.

Your eyes were already rolled into the back of your skull when Sukuna grabbed you by the throat, bringing you back to reality. “Beg.”

You were too far gone to disobey the devil anymore. All of the submissive buttons have been pressed and now, you must obey your controller. “Please, Sukuna. Please fuck me. I need you oh so badly.”

“Atta girl.” Sukuna chuckled, readjusting himself to where you are now slammed down on his cock. “Ride me like the bitch in heat that you are.” He commands and as expected, you follow.

You never rode a dick before, but the way Sukuna had you split open on him, you had no other choice. His claws remained digging into your hips to help you bounce up and down on his pre-cum leaking cock.

“Feel what ya doin’ to me, brat?” Sukuna inquired as he watched you sheepishly nod, drool sliding down your chin.

Taking his left hand, he holds your chin so you are forced to meet his gaze. “I asked you a question, Y/N. Answer it.”

“Y-Yes, Sukuna.”

“And y’know what I am goin’ to do to you?”

You pondered for a moment, your mind too fuzzy to even comprehend his questions. “I-I—“

“I-I—“ Sukuna mocked with a condescending laugh to follow. “Fucked you dumb and I haven’t done much to ya. You virgins are always fun to ruin.”

Babbling incoherent sentences, Sukuna was not even going to attempt to find out what you were trying to tell him. Instead, his hand goes back down to your hip as he encourages you to keep riding his dick.

“Go on, y’know what to do.”

©bakugosbratx

All Rights Reserved — I don’t give anyone permission to repost, distribute, copy or re-use my works in any way. Especially not on other websites such as Tik Tok, Ao3, Wattpad, etc.

[j0eyj0rdis0n]

Hey hey how’s my fav creator! I hope you’re doing well! 🫶🏻 I was hoping I could request some hunter/prey proxies x reader, (together or separate). And you could do sfw or nsfw whatever your feeling. Or both if you’re feeling up to it 👀 anyway I love you 🫶🏻♥️♥️

Hi love!! I’m doing pretty alright! I hope you enjoy and this is close to what you wanted! Asks are always open if you want more!

THE PROXIES HUNTING YOU

MASKY:

Oh my lord how this man loves hunting you

And when he’s stalking after you there’s no chance Tim is in control. It’s all Masky and that’s what you should be worried about.

He gets especially violent if you’re trying to escape from him for good

He’ll always find you.

He might not be fast but he’s smart and he’ll find a way to get to you

He’ll absolutely tackle you to the ground when he catches up to you. Either that or he’ll yank you back by your arm and let you drop to the forest floor.

Masky will look down at you crying with absolute terror in your eyes

He’ll sling you over his shoulder and laugh as you beat his back with your fists screaming for someone to help you

You thought that would hurt him? Try harder.

When he gets you home you’re fucking toast. Don’t ever dream of seeing the light of day without him by your side.

NSFW

All the creeps watch as he drags you to his room knowing exactly what’s coming for you

I feel like the chase really arouses him too, so get ready for the most possessive angry sex of your life

He’ll tie you up and manhandle you until you’re crying and proclaiming your everlasting loyalty to him

Absolutely degrades the shit out of you too

Even then he probably won’t stop until all you can tell him is how much you love him and how you’re so sorry you ran

HOODIE:

He’ll let you run until you’re tired, after all he loves the way you look around frantically when you realize you have no clue where you are

He’ll watch from a distance as you sob, it’s over for you and you know it. How foolish of you.

Only when you collapse to your knees does he step out, slowly walking towards you. He relishes the way you try to crawl away through your sobs and hiccups

He doesn’t even have to speak for you to know you’ve been caught

If he’s especially impatient on the day you escape he might just skip exhausting you with all that running. He’ll catch up before you can even scream help.

He’ll snatch you into his arms, covering your mouth with his heavy gloves when you go to scream.

Pressing his gun to your lower back he’ll walk you right back home, smirking underneath his mask when all the creeps watch you trudge through the door with him right behind

He loves the way he doesn’t even need to put his hands on you to have control.

NSFW

He’ll shove you down onto the bed face first, putting his gun to your head as he yanks your pants down

When he knows you’ve truly submitted to him only then will he put the gun in his waistband and stroke your hair lightly as he fucks the ever loving shit out of you

He doesn’t need to speak for you to know he loves you. Well you don’t exactly think he loves you at this point but he does!

Hoodie loves when when you cry, Brian not so much. But honestly when you get into the chase Brian is so far gone

“TICCI” TOBY:

NSFW (sorry there’s nothing sfw about him for this 😅)

Another one who loves chasing you! Honestly he’d chase you around for fun, he thinks it’s hot

Depends on how he’s feeling but sometimes he’ll catch you right away and sometimes he’ll let the chase go on and on

But when he does eventually get you, he’ll slam you against a tree and he doesn’t exactly understand how rough he’s being

He’ll start having his way with you right there

There’s no need to go home when he can have you right here! You were being so so naughty after all. How dare you run away from him!

If you struggle at all, expect a hatchet to your neck as he continues ravishing you how he wants

But you know he still loves that you try to wriggle away from him. Oh please give him the chance to run after you again.

He thinks it’s a game and he’s more than happy to play with you

[vanossfan10]

RWBY: Jaune Arc Mandalorian AU: Jaune’s Starfighter

**During the last Two Years at Beacon, Jaune and his friends all got along he managed to have a very loving relationship with Yang and the two Teams became power houses after their first year, but on one night they played Truth or Dare Jaune Revealed in a Truth he has a Starfighter to help him go earn some cash from bounties in space given to him by his Bounty Hunter Mentor; Boba Fett.**

(Night of the ToD game night)

Ruby: BULLSHIT! I call BULL!! SHIT!!

Yang: Ruby! Language! I’m sure Jaune is just joking

Jaune: who said I was?

Yang:…huh?!….

Teams RWBY & (J)NPR: ………EEEEHHHH!?!?!……

They all yelled in shock and saw that he wasn’t joking at all.

**The very next morning he took Team RWBY and his own team down to Ozpin private landing bay for Beacon where bullhead ships were kept, they all soon saw a ship that was covered in a large grey tarp and once they walked over to it Jaune grabbed the tarp and revealed his Starfighter.**

Ruby:…oh wow…(eyes shine and she begins to drool)…

Weiss: mhm this is quite a spectacle~

Blake: I mean I’ve read these in science fiction books but never thought I’d see one in person

Yang: that’s fucking hot babe~💕

Pyrrha: Jaune you always continue to surprise us

Nora: I WANNA RIDE IT! I WANNA RIDE IT! I WANNA RIDE IT! AND I WANNA BLOW STUFF UP WITH IT!!!

Ren: Nora No! (He said trying to hold her back)

Nora: NORA YES!!

Jaune: I’ll think about it Nora, anyway this is my Eta-2 Actis-class light interceptor, years ago it was originally made for a old warrior race of people known as Jedi but they all went extinct and are only a few left in the Galaxy, as from what my mentor told me when he got this for me

Blake: your mentor got you this?

Jaune: yeah it was a gift after I completed my training, but despite it all I wear his family crest on it to show my thanks to him and to honor my mentor

**Suddenly Weiss interrupted**

Weiss: if that’s so, what’s this art piece supposed to indicate mhm~

**she said in a teasing tone as they all looked at the side of Jaune’s Starfighter wing and saw a pin up spray paint art piece of Yang**

**everyone looked at the pin up with blushes, some covered their mouths and some looked at Jaune with a cheeky smirk, but Yang mostly was looking at it in embarrassment but also a little bit happy on the inside seeing Jaune still thinking of her when he’s away**

Yang: J-Jaune WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?!

Jaune: now Yang come on I can explain

Nora: so fearless leader got a sexy mascot to show off to the galaxy huh

Jaune: NORA!

Pyrrha: my goodness Jaune I didn’t think you’d do that and by yangs reaction you didn’t even get her permission, how deviant of you

Jaune: Pyrrha it’s not what y-

Yang: how could you Jaune! (She said blushing harder)

Jaune: Yang please it is just a pi

Yang: how could you get my Signature Wrong!!

RWB(Y) & JNPR:…….Huh???

**they all said in confusion**

Yang: if you wanted me to be your pin up you should have had me sign it!

Jaune:…..umm…ok I’m sorry?….I guess?

Yang: good but I’ll forgive you under one condition

Jaune: what?

Yang: if you take me for a ride in it first before everyone else

**she said tapping her fingers together and making a pouty face along while doing it**

Jaune: (Giggles) sure thing babe

**he said as he pulls her in for a kiss and her soon accepted his apology from the kiss and his promise**

Nora: can I blow up a Cabbage Stand with it now!

Ren: why a Cabbage Stand?!

Blake: you really wanna ask her that question Ren?

Nora: Well my beautiful Ren Ren, it’s because in every universe there is a Cabbage man who yells “No! My Cabbages!!” It’s a universal thing Ren Ren~💕

Ren: What?

Nora: I WANNA BLOW SHIT UP!!

Ruby: ME TOO!! I WANNA BLOW SHIT UP!!

Ren: NORA NO!!!

Yang: RUBY LANGUAGE!!

Fin

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

Imagine...The Boys Not Realizing You’re A Hunter

Pairing: Dean x cop!reader

Oh, this was guy was all bull and you knew it. They both were but at least the taller one was making a better effort at hiding it. If these two were FBI you were the Easter bunny.

If he wanted to treat you like the dumb local cop too, he had another thing coming.

“We’re gonna need to go in-“

“You both realize it’s pouring out,” you said.

“It’s rain,” said the shorter one, Agent Plant he’d said his name was. You had to force yourself not to roll your eyes at that one. “I need-“

“Well you’re going to freeze to death. You look like you just stepped out of the shower,” you said, crossing your arms.

“Oh you’d know the difference,” he said, an angry smirk on his face. A snarky comment settled on the tip of your tongue but you held it back.

“No going in the woods. I see either one of you in there, I arrest you,” you said. “Understand?”

“Bet you’d like that, wouldn’t you,” mumbled the shorter one, his hair spiked up and dark from the rain.

“No woods.”

You nearly rolled your eyes when you saw these two walking around in the woods that night. Idiots were going to get themselves killed. They probably thought it was some strange Wendigo or something.

You snuck behind them, the taller one moving ahead to check out a noise that truly was just a rabbit. You went up behind the other, his whole body stilling when you pressed your gun to his neck.

“You two,” you said, the guy you had holding up his hands, the other spinning around and pointing his shotgun at you. The one with you tried to break away but you grabbed the nape of his neck and adjusted your gun, the guy taking a few deep breaths. “Put it down.”

The tall one glared but did as told and dropped his weapon, the one next to you starting to relax a little.

“Starting to get the picture?” you said, gently releasing him. He nodded but tried to reach back. You groaned and hooked your boot around his, nearly tripping him until you grabbed him again. “I got all night if you’re gonna keep this up.”

“Told you the hot cop was into me,” he said, the other one scowling. “Listen. This sounds crazy but the thing that’s doing this ain’t an animal.”

“I know. I also know two hunters when I see them,” you said. You lowered your gun and took your hand off him, the men exchanging glances. “Y/N Y/L/N.”

“No shit,” said the one beside you, absolutely beaming now. “We heard you’re a bit of a lone wolf, always have been.”

“Ever since I was a wee little hunter,” you said, giving him a smirk.

“I’m Sam,” said the tall one. “That’s Dean. We’re-“

“Winchesters. Wondered how I haven’t run into you two yet,” you said.

“So are you actually a cop?” asked Sam.

“Eh, sort of. I help out when the local chief wants to take a vacation. Saved his kid about five years back. Nice family,” you said. “I thought I told you two to stay out of here.”

“We don’t listen well,” said Dean, giving you a smile.

“You assholes didn’t listen to me about the rain, did you,” you sighed, pointing at your hood.

“It’s a little water, Y/N,” said Dean.

“Did you notice attacks only occur on rainy nights? The rain gets in your hair and that’s how it tracks. It’s blind but that weird combo for some reason lights you up like a Christmas tree to it,” you said.

Both of them immediately put a hand on their wet heads.

“Yeah, that won’t work now. We got to get you two out of here before it comes after you,” you said.

“What’s is this thing?” asked Dean. “We thought-”

“Cursed witch. It’s a long story,” you said. “Best guess is kill it with a blade to the heart.”

“Yeah,” said Dean, spinning around when you heard a rustle in the trees. “Witch?”

“Yup. Get ready.”

“So you boys going to be alright? Took a hard fall there,” you said when you got back to your cars.

“We’ve had worse,” said Sam.

“Want to grab a drink?” asked Dean as he tossed his bag in his trunk.

“Sorry. Lone wolf and all,” you said.

“You did just work a hunt with two other hunters and all,” said Sam, giving you a smile.

“I’m not big on the getting attached thing,” you said.

“You could learn to like it,” said Dean. “One drink on me. Not letting you say no.”

“Alright. Maybe I’ll have a drink or two,” you said.

“Two? Told you she had the hots for me, Sammy,” laughed Dean.

“In your dreams, Winchester.”

[fanficshiddles]

Eternally Mine, Chapter 47

After the group had something to eat, Loki and Chris went along to the station afterwards to see if they could get any information on the body found.

Claire and Louise went back to Claire and Loki’s place to wait for them.

‘How are things going at work? Are you still getting issues with that new one?’ Claire asked as they sat down in the living room with Bat.

‘Issues is an understatement. I swear my stress levels are getting higher and higher every damn week.’ Louise sighed.

‘How is she still working there? Surely they know by now it’s her that's causing all the numbers to not add up?’

Louise shrugged. ‘I have a feeling she must be related or a friend of the owner. There’s no other reason for her to still be there. Honestly, Chris’ flowers that he brings me every Thursday is the only thing keeping me sane at work.’

‘Aww. That’s so cute he does that. I’m sorry you’re having so much shit at work, though.’ She said as she reached over to squeeze her shoulder.

‘Ugh it’s fine. We’re just dealing with her the best we can.’ Louise shrugged. ‘How are things with you and Loki?’

‘Amazing. We’re going to New Zealand in October and I can’t wait!’ Claire squealed.

‘Oh my god! Seriously? You kept that one quiet.’ Louise squeaked excitedly.

‘I wanted to wait until we had it all booked and confirmed. I’m so excited though. It’s going to be incredible.’ Claire grinned widely.

‘I bet you guys will have an amazing time.’

‘We just need to ask Chris for an extra week off… if he can sort cover for Loki’s class.’ Claire cringed at the thought.

‘I got you. Let me know when you plan to ask him. I’ll soften him up beforehand.’ Louise grinned.

‘Thanks, sis.’ Claire laughed.

There was a knock on the door, which made them jump as they hadn’t been expecting anyone. Claire went through to answer, surprised to find it was Toshi.

‘You two better come with me… trust me, you’re going to want to see this.’ Toshi smirked a little.

‘What is it?’ Claire asked, confused, as she called on Louise.

‘Your vampires are throwing their weight around. Come on. I’ll explain on the way.’ Toshi motioned for them to follow.

Claire and Louise looked at one another, then grabbed their jackets and threw them on as they ran down the steps after Toshi.

‘Basically, when they got to the station, they were told that there was no body found under the name of Stanley. I did some quick digging and turns out there’s a few rats at the station, covering up his death for some reason.’ Toshi sighed as they walked fast down the street and up the next one, then began crossing the large green.

‘They found the two cops that were responsible for messing with Stanley’s body and evidence. Though they’re not giving them information as to why, and started threatening Loki and Chris instead, the school and also you two... It’s turning nasty so thought I’d come grab you both. One thing is clear though, they’re obviously covering up for someone. They’re also close with hunters, so I suspect hunters are behind it.’

Claire and Louise shared a look again, still slightly confused over it all.

Across the green and down another quiet street, not far from the police station, Toshi motioned for the girls to go behind her as they moved down an alley and ducked behind a large skip. Chris and Loki were a bit further down the alley, attacking the two corrupt cops.

Claire and Louise were intrigued as they watched their vampires continue to try and get information out of the humans, but they refused flat out.

‘Well then, brother. What do we do to friends of hunters that threaten our girls?’ Chris growled, as he glanced briefly at Loki.

‘Take them out for a bite to eat.’ Loki hissed in response as his eyes turned red and his fangs emerged.

Chris chuckled darkly as his eyes also turned red and his fangs came out to play too. ‘Indeed.’

Claire and Louise’s eyes were locked on them, they couldn’t believe how hot it was to see their vampires do their thing. Mainly for their sake, too.

‘Honestly, no one is safer than a vampire’s soulmate.’ Toshi whispered to them with a smirk.

The two cops tried fighting off the vampires, but they were no match. Loki grabbed one of them and slammed him down to the ground, then launched straight for his neck and sank his fangs into him. The man cried out in agony as Loki drank him dry, until his body went completely limp underneath him.

Chris grabbed the other one by the collar and pinned him up against the wall, then tore into his throat. He drank a little, then ripped his teeth out of him, tearing out his flesh and killing him off.

The vampires were breathing heavy with blood dripping from their chins. Suddenly, they both caught the scent of their soulmates arousal.

Claire and Louise let out a squeak when Loki and Chris’ heads shot round, looking directly at them. Their eyes still red and fangs covered in blood.

‘My cue to leave.’ Toshi said as she clambered up the nearest ladder to get on top of the building, out of the way.

‘What do we do?’ Louise gasped as the vampires just stared at them, salivating.

‘Run!’ Claire squealed as she grabbed Louise’s arm and they began running while giggling.

Loki and Chris gave chase of course, the thrill and adrenaline running high in them. They all knew they’d be able to catch the girls within seconds, but where would the fun be in that?

They ended up turning into their bat forms when the girls ran out across the green.

Claire and Louise squealed and laughed as the bats flew about their heads, making them sprint as fast as they could to the other side of the green. Though they were a bit suspicious when Loki and Chris disappeared…

As they turned down Loki and Claire’s street, they stopped dead when they saw Chris and Loki waiting at the other end of the street, their eyes still glowing red with wicked smirks on their faces.

Claire and Louise broke into a run again towards Loki and Claire’s house that was a few houses down from them, yet further for the vampires, but they were gaining fast.

As Claire and Louise turned up the path, Chris grabbed Louise before she got far.

‘Go! Save yourself!’ Louise screeched at Claire with a laugh.

Chris tickled her sides and went straight for her neck and bit down, sucking a little blood from her, just a little taste… of course he gave her the endorphins so the pain was just a very brief stinging sensation initially.

He reluctantly just took a small amount from her, then with her still giggling, he picked her up and tossed her over his shoulder.

Loki had already told him when they were running after them that he could use the spare room, or the sofa, wherever the hell he wanted. Loki didn’t care, all he cared about was getting hold of Claire after catching her scent. 

Claire managed to get inside and began running upstairs, but that’s when Loki caught her. He grabbed her ankle and dragged her back down underneath him. He let out a snarl as he buried his face into her neck and sniffed deeply.

‘God, pet… You smell so delectable. Were you having fun watching me, hmm?’ He asked as he gripped her chin.

‘God yes!’ Claire said as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Loki chuckled, he slid his arms around her and carried her upstairs to their bedroom.

Once there, Loki and Claire tore at each other’s clothes until they were both naked, then they toppled onto the bed with their hands all over one another.

‘Fuck. Seeing you do that was so hot, vampy.’ Claire whined as Loki started kissing and sucking on her neck.

Loki grinned against her and trailed his fangs against her delicate skin. ‘I wasn’t going to stand for them threatening you, plus being friendly with hunters… they had to go. I’d do anything to protect you, my love.’

‘I know, that’s one of the many reasons why I love you so much.’ Claire said softly.

‘I love you so much too, my pet.’ Loki hummed against her skin.

Claire put her arms around him as he bit her neck and started sucking her blood. He also shimmied himself between her legs and hurriedly guided his cock into her, knowing she was way past the point of being ready to take him.

She started moaning loudly in pleasure, Loki wasn’t careful or slow, he was fast and rough. Desperate for release just as much as she was, and neither of them cared if Chris and Louise heard them, hell, they didn’t care if the whole world heard them right now.

Claire loved the feeling of his fangs in her neck as he sucked the blood out of her. After seeing him do the same to someone else and literally suck the life out of him, it made her tremble knowing how dangerous he was. Yet with her, he was so careful and caring.

‘God, you taste so good.’ Loki groaned as he reluctantly stopped drinking from her so she wouldn’t pass out.

‘I know.’ She said cheekily with a cheesy grin, her brain was fuzzy and so was her body. But she felt like she was flying high with every thrust of his hips against her.

Loki growled in frustration, he wanted her so badly but felt like this wasn’t enough. He sat upwards and grabbed her legs, bending them up and almost folding her in half. She gasped out as she felt her muscles stretching with her legs being up by her head wasn’t a usual occurrence.

Loki then rammed into her at a brutal pace, his balls slapped lewdly against her with every thrust.

‘Fuuuuuuuck. Loki!!’ She cried out, seeing stars.

‘Cum for me, pet. Cum all over my cock, come on.’ He demanded.

And she didn’t need to be told twice.

-

Chris carried Louise upstairs and straight into the spare room. By that point, Chris’ head was swimming with the scent of her arousal, he could practically taste her on his tongue already.

He placed her down on her feet and started removing her clothes, tossing each item to the floor. Louise tried to even the playing field and managed to unbutton his shirt, he shrugged it off but she didn’t get time to attack his jeans before he had her on the bed.

‘Naughty pumpkin, spying on me… tell me, did you enjoy watching?’ Chris asked as he crawled over the top of her and wrapped his hand around her throat.

She nodded slightly, her face was flushed as Chris leaned down and kissed her roughly. She could feel his fangs on her tongue, they were still emerged.

‘Mmm, fuck. You smell so fucking good.’ He growled into her mouth as he caught her arousal again.

Chris slipped off the bed, she was about to whine in disappointment, but let out a squeak instead as he quickly flipped her over onto her stomach. She gasped when he brought his hand down harshly onto her ass. Though they both knew this would just make her arousal rocket ten times, as it always did.

Chris spanked her a few times, till her ass was nice and red, then he leaned down and took a bite from her left cheek. He let his fangs sink in for a minute, then he smacked her right cheek again before letting go.

He crawled back on the bed and knelt behind her, he dipped his hand between her thighs and found her dripping wet. Which was no surprise really, from the strength of her scent.

‘You should know better by now than to play with fire, pumpkin. Hiding to watch and getting aroused, then running off like that… setting off my instincts.’ Chris moved in between her legs and he quickly shoved his jeans down and took his cock out, already hard and ready to take her.

He lined himself up with her cunt, and in one smooth thrust he was inside her.

‘Holy shit. You're so fucking wet!’ He gasped and pressed his body down on top of her.

She let out a cry of pleasure as her body squeezed around him. Chris began panting into her ear as he thrust into her roughly.

‘Shiiiiit.’ She gasped as she grabbed tightly at the bed sheets.

‘Ah, you can speak.’ He chuckled. ‘Tell me, what is it that turned you on so much? Hmm?’ He tried to slow his thrusting down, to give her a chance to speak properly. Though it wasn’t easy as he dragged his fangs along her shoulder.

‘I… it… seeing you do that… I know it shouldn’t turn me on, seeing you kill someone… I just… how strong you are. Knowing what you can do… I don’t know.’ She whined in desperation and embarrassment as she tried hiding her face into the pillow.

Chris bit her shoulder as he thrust deeper into her, hitting at just the right angle. He growled ferally as he kept up the same fast rhythm, never faltering. She was a quivering wreck underneath him, her mind was starting to go fuzzy from everything going on.

She started moaning loudly as she got closer to the end, Chris stopped sucking her blood and clamped a hand over her mouth and pressed his lips to her ear.

‘Shhh, pumpkin. Don’t want the others to hear how good I’m making you feel.’ He smirked as her body crumbled below him.

Ten minutes later, they were laying together cuddling.

‘So... they didn’t give you guys the information you were after?’ Louise asked.

‘No.’ Chris sighed. ‘It makes me think they’re hiding something. Though it would point towards being hunter related, since they were friends with hunters.’

‘I can’t believe you killed them… with them being cops. What if something happens to you?’ She asked, worriedly.

‘Don’t worry, pumpkin. Nothing will happen to me. I wasn’t going to tolerate them threatening you, love. I’d do anything to protect you and keep you safe.’ Chris said as he nuzzled her cheek.

Louise felt her heart soar as she snuggled into him tightly. ‘I love you. You and your feral ways.’ She grinned.

Chris chuckled and let out a growl as he tightened his arms around her.

‘Though I don’t know whether to be pissed off or thankful to Toshi for taking you there. It could’ve been dangerous!’

‘I say… be thankful. She was with us and knew we would be safe enough. She wouldn’t have done it otherwise.’ Louise assured him. ‘She’s human too with a vampire boyfriend, she knows how hot it is for me to see you doing your thing.’

‘Hmm. I suppose so.’ Chris smirked.

[staticsattic]

Johnny has been on my mind for so long and I have so much to say. Part 1 maybe

This is just me rambling and I could get stuff wrong so don’t mind me (also I’m not to great at writing stuff so be warned)

Rambling about his relation to the family-red

Johnnys character to me is so interesting dispite him seeming every much cookie cutter “hot guy who’s a killer” and even though that is technically what he is, he gets mischaracterized in my opinion. What we see a lot with the sawyer boys is that they’re always tough, they have to live up to grandpa in some way and they’re all very traditional masculine guys. Masculinity in the sawyer family has always been a big deal and is toxic (I might be wrong. It I’m pretty sure that was a big thing for the second TCM movie). Johnny is no different of course. He’s a good looking guy who’s an absolute unit, he’s an excellent hunter and he’s strong. He has more freedom than Nubbins and Drayton and I this because not only does he live with Nancy but he’s able to drive around to go for a hunt and with his little pretty privilege not a lot of people will suspect him for things.In the game it’s told and shown that he lures his victims in like a fucking pied piper, he literally broke into some college girls room to kill them, but also has doubts and moments of vulnerability. The main thing that started this ramble for me was a video from Twitter IM SORRY I FORGOT THE USER

For those who didn’t know or maybe forgot here’s some information. Since Nancy wasn’t able to have a child of her own she befriended a woman named Judith (pretty sure that’s her name burn me at the stake if I’m wrong) and Judith was Johnnys mother. Nancy kills Judith so she can steal Johnny and as he grew up she didn’t tell him not once, but of course Nubbins had to tease Johnny about “not being a real family member” and Johnny got suspicious. NOW IMAGINE THE SUDDEN REALIZATION THAT HE COULD HAVE OF “Holy shit I could’ve not been like this” AND EVERYTHING YOUVE BEEN TAUGHT AND EVERYTHING YOUVE DONE COULDVE NEVER HAPPENED IF YOUR “MOTHER” NEVER DID ANYTHING. That’s the end for now I’m gonna write more after my nap I swear!!!

[talesfrommedinastation]

My redneck neighbor Doug on Tech's Looks

(Me: "Doug, so you know, a lot of people are unhappy that the Bad Batch was made to be lighter then the regs. It's a hot topic."

Doug: "Well, here's my theory on the matter. I hope the kids on the Internet (his words for Tumblr) don't get too spicy over this. It's all in good fun. I hope it makes 'em smile and think a bit.")

After having a firm, peer-reviewed discussion (and by that, I mean endless texts with Doug) it has been concluded that Tech has lighter skin and hair, and a slimmer build, due to the Kaminoans leaning harder into the hillbilly part of Jango Fett’s genes, whereas the regs got the nicer, prettier, more amenable genes. 

In short, Tech looks the way he does…because he is a blue-collar white guy from the American South.  

A Florida redneck, specifically.  

And let me (by way of Doug) tell you: rednecks do not have beautiful tans, flawless fades, snatched waists, muscular thighs, diamond-sharp cheekbones, the ability to follow directions, or perfect matching armor, all of which a reg has. 

(Sorry, Howser, go back to guarding Ryloth or posing for GQ or whatever it is you do.)

Back to Tech. Look at that man and tell me the shit he gets up to would not be constantly at the top of r/floridaman

A lot of people might clutch their pearls, and be shocked at this revelation. 

“He has a fancy accent! He’s persnickety about certain things! He’s my fancy pretty boi and I’m going to dress him up in a gold thong in my fan art!”

You do you, kid. But let Doug and his neighbor here, Dr. Meat Muffin, defend this deranged argument, here. Using anthropological research applying autoethnographic methodologies that they conducted independently at one point. 

(By that, we mean that Doug is from the bayous of Louisiana and has lived in the Florida Panhandle before moving Up North. Dr. MM attended graduate school in a redneck hot zone, lived in said redneck hot zone for a while, and married a Texan as well. Hook 'em gig 'em and wreck 'em)

After all, if you want an army to win over the galaxy and work with the Jedi, you want well-mannered, shiny, handsome men with melanin and agreeable personalities.

You do not want a pale-assed weirdo in jeans and a receding hairline who can’t get off his phone to work closely with orphaned space wizards. 

Tech’s an anarchic Floridian piece of tornado bait and that’s why he look the way he do, says Doug.

Here's why Doug says Tech is a Redneck:

Mandalorians are Space Rednecks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Trx7fDdlIo0. I do not own the rights to the video, but my God, it is perfection. A masterpiece. Mandalorians are rednecks in space, who end up colonizing Space Florida, no questions asked. Our theory is Tech is merely the concentrated, Waffle House-fistfighting, chew-dipping, Mountain Dew chugging, part of that. The Kaminoans just leaned into the trailer park part of Jango Fett hard when designing Tech, because no one can fix cars while shooting a gun and yelling at his crazy brothers like a redneck (more on that below). 

Hell, all of the Bad Batch are different brands of Florida Man:

Grizzled long haired tan guy with skull tattoo, obsessed with tracking, knife fighting, and hiding from normal society? Hunter.

Bald tanned dude with weird scars who loves blowing shit up and screaming for no reason? Wrecker

Pale, freaked out man who was kept in a cult’s closet for years? Echo 

Creepy, old, Second Amendment loving white guy with a gun themed tattoo who can’t seem to die? Crosshair 

Maladjusted orphan left behind at a bar by her inexperienced caretakers and almost drowns in the ocean? Omega 

His love of vehicles: We never see Tech whip out a manual to fix anything. The man says it’s because he has an exceptional mind, but that’s edging dangerously close to “Ah don’t need no schoolin’, hoss, I can fix any Ford!”.  Doug thinks it’s just because Tech loves playing with car parts, which is some grade A, hillbilly tomfoolery. And what is more redneck than some white guy ripping apart a vehicle in the dirt while the rest of his family bitches at each other in the heat? It happened right here in Season 2 (this exact scenario has played out many-a-time in Pensacola, trust me). All they need is some Lynyrd Skynyrd blasting in the background to make the picture complete. 

His clothing color scheme: “Oh, no!” you wail. “He just changed his colors to reflect Mandalorian heritage!” 

WRONG. 

Tech’s redneckery is blatant here, because his colors switch from 

Hot Topic goth to…UNIVERSITY OF FLORIDA. 

“We’re loyal to each other,” says Hunter. And by that, he means the Gators, beloved of many an NCAA following redneck in the Sunshine State and beyond. Orange and Blue, indeed.

Notice how we first see him in these colors, is while he’s parked his stolen work vehicle on a beach while his brothers are busy being chased by huge-ass crabs as their sister is quietly fishing?! 

This is PEAK FLORIDA MAN. 

Tech was probably trying to get ESPN+ to work on the Marauder, because the Devil works hard, but the SEC works harder during football season. I wonder if he has a tattoo of Tim Tebow on his buttcheek.

His home is his car: Tech, as well as his unemployed brothers and underaged sister who the cops are looking for (how trashy is THAT sentence), live in the Havoc Marauder now that their home was destroyed in a fire fight with the government. 

("Jesus Christ, this argument just writes itself now, don’t it," -Doug) 

This attack shuttle, for all intents and purposes, is a stolen work truck that they live in. It’s filled with posters of guns, as well as other weapons and explosives, and has all the comfort of a Jacksonville gas station at 2 AM. All you need is some cigarette burns on the fender and some empty take out bags from Bojangles and it might as well be parked down by the river in Suwannee County. Just Florida redneckery. Speaking of which….

He loves guns and explosions: Won’t go into detail, but the man knows how to use multiple pistols, rifles, and different tactile maneuvers with glee. Tech’s only notable complaint regarding explosions is making sure Wrecker’s new fancy boom-booms aren’t parked next to his bunk. And the look of calm joy when his sister tells his brother ‘Do some damage, Wrecker!’ as Tech pulls a Bo Duke and flings his vehicle across a locked up work site, while his deranged brother giggles and fires some guns at a government-owned power plant from the back seat. PURE. UNADULTERATED. REDNECK. 

He’s a racer: It is a fact (with peer reviewed research) that rednecks really, really love them some racing. NASCAR, motocross, BMX, you name it. And if you’ve seen ‘Faster’, well, that’s all you need to know about the man. 

He has no fear of large animals: We’ve never seen him hunt, but Tech knows how to distract massive amounts of nasty animals using light, and the first response to seeing a terrifying monster isn't running away screaming, but whispering ‘FASCINATING’., before, ya know, firing a gun at it. It’s one step away from ‘IT’S COMING RIGHT FOR US’. You KNOW that man would be sponsoring gator wrasslin' contests if he could.

His actions towards His family: This is where Tech truly differentiates himself from the typical ‘geek’ character and leans hard into King of the Hill territory. Whereas a normal nerd character might nag and panic when his sister falls down a hole while drilling for explosives in a cave (dear God Doug, how much more redneck examples can you keep pointing out, I’m exhausted), Tech merely YEETS HIMSELF down into the abyss. Or when his brother picks a fight in the mess hall? Does Tech run away, or just start punching people like it's past closing time in the Applebee's parking lot in Daytona and the Dolphins lost? And let's not discuss the season finale :(. Rednecks are some loyal folks, family first, and that’s our man’s right there. 

There you have it, says Doug. Tech isn’t lighter because he’s better than the regs. The opposite.

You can not be a deranged, adrenaline filled, sassy, goggled weirdo flying throughout space and blowing shit up and not be pale AF with twiggy legs and a receding hairline that’s edging towards Hunter S. Thompson level, born out of America's Sunshine state while a hurricane chases you out.

::turns up ZZ Top::