#I’m probably gonna get a lot of heat for this post but I don’t care anymore tbh

[duchess-of-mischief]

Okay I’ve seen a lot of discourse going around recently in Christian circles regarding “homosexuality” and people’s stances on it and my response to a lot of those posts looks a lot the same so I am just going to throw my own hat in the ring here.

I’ve seen so many takes recently saying “The Bible says Homosexuality is a sin so if you accept LGBTQ+ people then you’re not a Christian.” I have two main questions to posit about this really; what do you mean by “homosexuality”, and what do you mean by “LGBTQ+”?

If we really dive into the passages in scripture that talk about homosexuality, what they are talking about is homosexual sex. Sexuality as a concept didn’t even exist yet, and wouldn’t exist for several hundred years later. Even then, there is still a Huge debate on how to properly interpret several of these passages, many believing that the passage in Romans in particular is condemning pederasty, and not homosexuality (This is not my interpretation, but it does have a pretty significant amount of scholarly backing and at least in my opinion is a perfectly valid opinion to hold).

Something that many of my friends seem to forget is that our modern English translations are just that: a translation. It’s never going to perfectly capture every minutiae of the original text, it just can’t. Are you really saying there is not even a possibility that you could’ve misinterpreted the meaning of this specific text that has a lot of debate by scholars over it? Scholars who study the Bible for a living??? I personally find that rather arrogant of anyone to say.

When it comes to the use of LGBTQ+, all I can assume is that you’re using it as a general term to mean “A group of people who has turned themselves over to the sin of homosexuality,” but again, what do you mean by homosexuality? Do you mean Actively engaging in homosexual sex? Or do you mean Experiences attraction to those of the same gender?

If your answer is the first, then I would say you are making an incredibly irresponsible generalization. There is a huge portion of the LGBTQ+ community that doesn’t have sex for varying reasons: stop looping us all into one bucket.

If your answer is the second, then I would ask you this: do you really think you’re any better?

Now I personally don’t believe SSA (same sex attraction) to be in itself a sin (I’m not going to address that in this post though, God knows it’s already long enough), but even if it is a sin, what does that even matter?

As a queer Christian myself, I can tell you from personal experience that being attracted to women isn’t something I choose to do, any more than a straight woman chooses to be attracted to men.

If you really do hold all sexual sin to the same standard as you say, and you believe attraction to anyone beside your spouse to be sinful, then where’s your religious zeal for all the women out here thirsting after Jensen Ackles or Chris Hemsworth or what have you? Where’s your fire for all the men saying how hot they think Gal Gadot is?

Whether you think there is or not, there’s a blatant double standard that I constantly see, and I’m tired of it.

“Why do you even care? This is what I believe scripture says I’m just trying to spread the truth”

You are more than entitled to your own interpretation of scripture, I am not looking to deny anyone their religious liberty: but I implore you to at least consider what I am about to say when addressing these topics.

According to this study by the CDC, LGBTQ+ youth are more than four times as likely to consider suicide than their heterosexual peers.

Furthermore, according to this article by the Trevor Project, LGBTQ+ individuals are the only people group that are more prone to suicidality when engaging with religious groups, with queer people who have religious parents with negative views of homosexuality being twice as likely to consider suicide than queer people who do not have religious parents.

I want you to let that sink in for a minute.

These pointless arguments are driving people out of our churches at their best, and into their graves at their worst. We as the body of Christ need to do better.

[rafesangelita]

⊹₊⟡⋆♡ having a pregnancy scare wasn’t on rafe and pogue!sweetheart!reader’s to do list anytime soon.. but alas, here they are waiting to see if two pink lines will change the trajectory of their lives forever.

warnings: pregnancy, mentions of a breeding kink lol, super sweet fluff, slight humor, lots of crying

a/n: this is my not-so-subtle way of introducing babydaddy!rafe to my blog (i’ve been reading a lot of babydaddy!rafe lately.. yum) also just a reminder: pogue!sweetheart!reader is only pregnant in this fic alone. meaning any other works i create with her are not correlated with this one UNLESS stated so <3 you could keep up with this little universe under the second tag of this post: ‘₊˚⊹♡ pogue!sweetheart!reader & babydaddy!rafe’

“a-are you sure you’re late?” rafe was pacing back and forth, tears pricking your eyes as you flipped through your little calendar book. “yes! i look at my calendar everyday rafe, it’s been three weeks!” you sniffled, checking for the millionth time. rafe joined you on your bed, realizing he probably wasn’t making you feel any better if he was freaking out too. “hey..” he cupped your chin, “it’s gonna be okay, baby. what do you need me to do? ‘want me to go get some tests from the store?” you cried even more, the whole thing becoming too real all at once. “i don’t know! i don’t know what to do, ray!”

he sighed, holding you as you wept in his arms. “oh, baby,” rafe rubbed your back, “you know i’m going to take care of us, of you.” he whispered, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. he wiped the tears from your eyes, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. “i know.. it’s just— this is so new, and even though we don’t have a for sure answer yet, i feel like i really am. you know.. pregnant?” saying it out loud made rafe’s heart drop to his stomach. you saw the way his expression softened, his eyes flickering down to where you two held hands.

while it shouldn’t be too surprising, considering you two never use protection.. it’s still a delicate matter that rafe took very seriously. “am i gonna sound crazy if i say i hope that you are?” you took a breath, stroking the side of rafe’s face. “no. i want it too.” letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, he pulled you against his chest, embracing you once again. “why don’t we find out? ‘go to the pharmacy and get some tests?” you nodded, the anticipation already feeling unbearable. “okay.” you pulled away, getting under your knitted blanket.

“you’re not going with me?” rafe laughed. “are you joking? the owner has known me forever. if he see’s us buying a pregnancy test, he’ll—” you lowered your voice down to a whisper, “he’ll know what we’ve been doing..” your cheeks heated at the thought of the sweet old man who’s known you for all of your life checking you out for a test that indicates you’ve been doing a lot more than just baking cookies. “baby, if you didn’t live in the middle of nowhere, and far away from any kind of civilization, everyone on this island would know what we’ve been doing.” he winked.

at his words, you shooed him out of your camper as a giggle escaped your lips. he wasn’t wrong. rafe knew all the ways to make you scream and tremble in pure bliss. it felt like forever since rafe had been out, but one glance at the heart shaped clock on your wall, and it had only been ten minutes. you laid on your back, fingertips skimming your tummy. imagining a baby, half of you, and half of rafe, a result of two worlds, both full of so much love, colliding into one and making the most beautiful creation you were sure to ever see, made a smile grace your pretty face.

now you were thinking about a nursery, wondering if you’d be painting it baby pink or powder blue. either color was fine with you. sitting up, you looked around your camper, really seeing just how small it was. you and rafe barely fit in here together, let alone with a little baby that’ll eventually grow and want to run around. now you felt sad at the indication that you might have to move out of the only place you’ve ever known. this would change your life, but with rafe by your side you felt more ready than ever. just as you were going to call rafe and politely tell him to hurry up, he walked through the door.

“i wasn’t sure which one you wanted, so i just grabbed one of each.” rafe gave you the bag, plopping down next to you. there was about ten different tests in there, including a lot of the snacks you’d been craving over the last week. sour gummy bears, chocolate, and spicy chips mostly. taking out a pink box, you read the instructions before looking back at rafe who already had his full attention on you. “can you come with me?” without hesitation, rafe helped you up and guided you to the bathroom. “alright..” he leaned against the doorframe, watching as you unwrapped the test.

“i can’t really pee if you’re looking..” rafe had zoned out, thinking about house hunting already and wondering what kind of car seat would be the safest for a baby. “right, i’m sorry.” he turned around, swallowing the lump in his throat. rafe needed the confirmation just as much as you did, his stomach doing somersaults as he nervously bit his lip. “you okay?” he asked. you hummed, peeing on the stick before setting it down on a piece of toilet paper. washing your hands shortly after, you and rafe left the test in the bathroom as you waited in silence.

“my heart is beating so fast right now.” you laughed, on the verge of tears as rafe rubbed circles into the flesh of your thigh. “i want you to know something..” rafe whispered, “whatever those test results come out to; negative or positive, we’re going to be okay. i don’t want you to worry about a thing, alright?” your chin wobbled as you nodded, your head falling in the curve of his neck. you stayed quiet for the rest of the time, the timer on rafe’s phone going off. “oh, god..” you whimpered, motioning for rafe to grab the test. “don’t look at it, just bring it over!” you called out.

rafe walked back with his eyes closed, nearly bumping into the wall as his hands trembled with excitement. “where are you?” he kept his eyes screwed shut, in which you followed suit. “i’m right here.” you squeaked out, holding onto his wrists. “on three we’re gonna look down.” you nodded even though he couldn’t see you. “okay, i’m ready.” both of you smiled. “one, two, three—” both of you looked down, rafe jumping and running out of your camper as you stared down at the sight of two, very prominent, pink lines. rafe was shouting outside, the sound making you laugh as you took a seat on the couch.

“oh my god.” rafe poked his head in, your teary eyes meeting his. thankfully, he was able to read the room and calmed down a bit. “oh my god.” he repeated, kneeling down in front of you. “are you okay? are you happy?” rafe rubbed the side of your thighs, his touch providing a comfort like no other. “yes! i just can’t believe it..” you hugged him, his arms wrapping around your waist. “we have a lot of planning to do.” you sniffled, pressing a kiss to his cheek. rafe could already see it. the white house, the white picket fence, both of you were already two steps closer to your dreams becoming a reality.

“yeah, we do,” he agreed, “let’s just take it one day at a time, yeah?” you smiled, cupping his face. “i love you so much, this is crazy.” he kissed your lips before taking the test in his hands again. “a whole baby..” you were in utter disbelief. “maybe i should take the rest of the tests?” you stood up, taking the plastic bag with you to the bathroom. by the time you finished, the sun was already setting, both you and rafe staring at the approximately ten tests in front of you. all positive. “looks like we took the breeding kink a little too seriously, huh?” you looked up at rafe through his reflection in the mirror. “that was a good one.”

[violentdelightsandviolentends]

hii congrats on 5k!! i love your writing ! if you’re still celebrating could i request a carmy blurb where maybe you’re syd’s besite and carmy has this biggggest crush on you (im talking this mf is Yearning) and she gets on him sooo hard about it like teasing him and reader and him end up together ? TIA <3

Not So Secret.

carmen berzatto x female reader

warnings - cursing.

written for my 5k celebration- post here, masterlist here, inbox here.

“You’re gonna stare a hole through her fuckin’ head.”

“Shut up.”

Richie laughs, following Carmens eyeline to where it’s fixed on you.

You’re stood in the restaurant with Sydney, both of you giggling at something she’s showing you on her phone. When you look up, you smile at Carmy, all soft and sweet and like butter wouldn’t melt. He almost melts, a puddle of yearning on the kitchen floor.

Sugar appears next to the two of you, holding out a piece of paper.

“This is a really rough draft of what we kind of want them to look like. Obviously you have full control, but this is kind of the vibe?”

When Carmen mentioned wanting a more personal touch on the menus, Sydney quickly offered your services. You’re the most artistic person she knows, gifted with naturally gorgeous handwriting that almost looks like calligraphy. Plus, she knows how much everyone at The Bear likes you, having been a part of their transformation. It’s a win - win.

“Yeah, I get you. So you want the title words like Dessert in more of a cursive, and then the actual dishes and descriptions in a typeface?”

“Yes! Do your thing. We trust you.”

She gives you a side hug, careful not to hit you with her bump.

“I’m gonna need some nice paper, and probably a new calligraphy pen so I can start from scratch. I’m gonna head to the craft store, and I’ll be back.”

“Carmy will go with you!”

Richie shouts it from the doorway, where he’s been not so subtly watching the conversation. Carmy blushes, clearly caught off guard.

“He needs to go to the craft store too, right Cousin? Good. Go. Bye!”

Carmy’s practically being pushed out the door, uncomfortable and flustered. You smile reassuringly, grabbing your bag and walking over to your car.

“You’re okay with me driving?”

“Course. Shouldn’t I be?”

You laugh, and he can’t help but grin, the sound settling nicely into his ribcage to warm him up.

“I’m a good driver, I promise. Despite what Sydney might say.”

He looks worried but gets in anyway, ever trusting you and anything you do.

He can’t help but sneak glances at you as you drive. You’re completely focused on the road in front, bottom lip pulled between your teeth as you concentrate. Carmy feels heat bloom across his chest at the action, wishing he could reach out and release it for you before you draw blood.

A text chimes through the air, startling you both. You press the button on your steering wheel so your car can read the message out loud.

From Sydney: Carmy. Tell her immediately or I’ll lock you in the walk in freezer. Sick of you acting like a lovesick puppy. This is your chance. Don’t blow it, asshole. We’re all tired.

Both of you freeze, your hands tightening on the wheel. Carmy wants to throw himself out of the moving car, but decides against it at the last minute.

You pull the car into the craft store parking lot, choosing a space and yanking the handbrake on. You turn to him, looking at him for the first time since the bombshell.

He’s blushed all over, chest heaving and bottom lip pulled between his teeth. You almost want to reach out and release it for him, before he draws blood.

“Carmy.”

“I think, uh, yeah, I just - that was clearly sent to the wrong person. Not meant for you.”

You laugh, suddenly, and it spooks Carmy so much that he jumps out of his skin.

“Yeah, Carm. That I figured.”

He laughs with you then, unsure and nervous. You reach out and place a hand on his knee, trying to calm him down. It just makes his heart lurch.

“What’s Syd talking about? Tell me what?”

He looks down at his lap, hands knotted together.

“I think you know.”

“Wanna hear you say it,” you whisper.

He finds the courage to meet your gaze, taking a deep breath.

“I like you. So much. I can’t stop talking about you to anyone and everyone that’ll listen - to the point that everyone at The Bear gives me so much shit for it. Sydney won’t get off my back, either. She says I’m ‘yearning’.”

You chuckle, rubbing patterns into the material of his jeans with your thumb.

“They’ve all made bets,” he continues, “about if I’ll ever tell you or not.”

“Who bet on you? And who against?”

“Syd and Richie against me. Marcus too. Tina and Sugar are on my side. Not sure why.”

“Wanna make Tina and Sugar some money?”

He quirks a brow questioningly, eyes going wide when you lean over the centre console and plant your hands on either side of his face. You’re so close to him that your breaths tangle together, one set of lungs working overtime.

“Kiss me, Carm.”

He doesn’t think twice, closing the gap and pressing his lips to yours. You tangle your fingers in his hair, trying to pull him impossibly closer. His hands find your back, tugging you into him as much as the limited space allows.

You whine when he bites at your lip gently, and he has to pull away to take a steadying breath before he passes out.

“You should get your eyes checked.”

He tries to process for a moment.

“Huh?”

“You must be blind if you can’t see how much I like you, Carm. How much I’ve always liked you.”

He grins at you, bright and white, and you shake your head before leaning in to kiss him again.

When you don’t make it back into the restaurant that day, everyone has never been happier to not see the both you.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 424: Detroit Tears

Previously on BnHA: You know what, fandom is way too heated about this still so we’re just going to leave that be that for now and not get involved. I have some conflicted feelings about it, but this is not the place or time. This is a happy post.

Today on BnHA: Oh right, Horikoshi still owns the rights to my soul. And I’ve just been reminded of why I willingly signed them over to him so freely.

Quick heads up that this isn’t going to be my usual style of chapter reaction post, in that it’s really just going to be a ton of rambling about That One Scene. Partly because I’m only halfway caught up with stuff, but mostly because tbh, this is the only thing that matters to me right at this moment.

Also this is your friendly neighborhood spoiler warning that I’m posting about a chapter which hasn’t officially been released yet! So proceed at your own discretion. This reaction is based on @pikahlua’s excellent spoiler translation writeup here. I’ve officially lost all of my fucks about spoilers and it’s extremely liberating.

I’m glad that Kacchan’s arm isn’t just magically better and that he’s never going to be 100% again. and also that the doctor mentions him needing to rest his heart as well. because I did feel like there needed to be at least a few lasting consequences from him LITERALLY DYING AND UNDERGOING OPEN-HEART SURGERY IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BATTLEFIELD. but I’m also glad they established that it wasn’t career-ending or anything. he’ll probably have some chronic pain and occasionally aggravate his old injuries while fighting, all of which is great for angst purposes. but it was good to see him being calmly accepting of that while also being determined to put the work in to rehab it as much as possible.

also enjoyed the doctor summing up Kacchan’s highly improbable main character resurrection and subsequent antics as basically being some wild bullshit that nobody can explain. lampshaded the shit out of it. “I don’t really understand” lol. nobody understands. in truth it’s that his secondary quirk is bending reality to his will in order to kick ass.

moving on to the main event now! so Kacchan and Izuku’s reunion was obviously the highlight of this chapter and of my life, probably. I’m not gonna sit here and pretend like it wasn’t. y’all know how it is.

what really made this scene for me was Kacchan being more upset at Izuku’s loss than Izuku himself. all those callbacks and all that guilt. that careful selection of flashback panels. the fact that Kacchan’s past bullying of the quirkless Izuku wasn’t glossed over or forgotten, and in fact is the emotional core that fuels Kacchan’s reaction here. Horikoshi didn't have to cut that deep, but he knows what he's about.

and then the crying. I need to write a lot of words about this right the fuck now. first off, having Kacchan just flat out sob while Izuku for once is the calm one (at least until All Might goes in for the emotional kill later on), is such a beautiful reversal and really shows how far they’ve come. even better is that none of it was even remotely out of character. I’m always appreciative when an author can produce top tier emotional hurt/comfort like this and have it feel earned and authentic rather than forced. well done.

also, “Na--cchan!!” fuck yeah Izuku. we’ll never let him live this down. (but also, him later trying to reconcile his forever-tough image of Kacchan with the crying, hiccupping version standing in front of him, by blaming it on Kacchan’s weakened physical state... oh, Izuku.)

also the fact that Kacchan so easily reverts to this smol crying boy even after defeating the world’s greatest evil pretty much activated every protective instinct that I have. he’s seventeen. he’s practically a man now. he’s objectively one of the strongest and toughest people in the entire world. and yet his eyes still go so wide and his face is still so young and Horikoshi still draws him so tiny and vulnerable whenever he’s like this. goddamn gets me EVERY single time. let’s be real, it’s been this way ever since the “you looked like you needed saving” scene back in the literal first chapter. just, omg. he’s still just a kid and he’s too small to contain all these feelings SOMEONE HELP HIM.

anyway so NEEDLESS TO SAY, Kacchan full on mourning in between sobs because he wanted to keep being rivals with Izuku cut me to my core. I cried too, goddammit. because in Katsuki’s mind it’s like. he wasted a dozen years of potential friendship by being a giant asshole. and they were only able to start getting things back on track less than a year ago. and that was probably the best year of both of their lives. and that rivalry meant so much to both of them. pursuing their dreams together as equals. and he wanted it to continue!! he missed out on so much, and it was his own damn fault, and now it’s all being taken away again maybe!!

and I think it’s especially devastating to Katsuki because he was trying so hard to make up for how he treated Izuku, and then this comes along and now he’s worried it was all for nothing. he’s scared that Izuku will maybe have to quit being a hero. (we know that won’t happen, obviously, but Katsuki is living this and not just reading it. he’s never met narrator!Deku and doesn’t have the benefit of all that foreshadowing and stuff.) but even more than that, I think he’s scared that it will undo all of their progress toward mending their relationship. not because Katsuki thinks any less of Izuku now, quirk or no quirk; but because of how Izuku might feel about being quirkless again, and because of the memories it might bring flooding back to the surface. I don’t think Katsuki fully believes that Izuku has forgiven him. so that’s a major fear potentially rearing its ugly head once more now.

and of course, he’s also just sad and upset on Izuku’s behalf, because he knows Izuku is sad about it too, even if he’ll never show it and will just downplay it because of his selfless nature. it’s a major loss, and one deserving of tears being shed, even if Izuku won’t shed any of his.

so yeah. it’s a lot. in Katsuki’s mind it’s the potential loss of a partner (if Izuku quits heroics), and a friend (if Izuku does cool toward Katsuki as a result of being quirkless again), and a dream (of them reaching the highest heights together), and his friend’s dream. so it makes perfect sense that all of that would overwhelm him. all of this is stuff that’s broken him down on past occasions as well.

so anyway it’s going be very cathartic when all those fears prove to be unfounded (because they better be unfounded lol). but in the meantime it’s a very moving reminder of how much he really does care and how far the both of them have come.

also Horikoshi really couldn’t resist giving Nobu one last chance to destroy everyone when this scene rolls up in the anime. that’s so reckless of him. there will be no survivors.

All Might telling both of them they’d become the greatest heroes was also the perfect chef’s kiss moment on top of everything else. we already knew it, of course. but it was good to hear him say it. and they needed him to say it. they needed and deserved to hear it.

and I really love that the qualities he specifically praised them for were the same things that each of them had struggled with the most in their respective journeys. he tells Izuku, who had such a difficult time learning how to tell the world “I am here!!”, that he inspires everyone and has become everyone’s hero. and he reminds Katsuki, who struggled with learning how to save people, and has especially struggled with his guilt over what happened to All Might at Kamino, that he saved All Might’s life and is the reason he’s able to still be there with them. both of them just really needed to hear that acknowledgement and encouragement, and it was such a powerful passing of the torch moment. All Might gets so much shit from the fandom, but he really is a phenomenal mentor when he’s in the zone, and I’ll die on that hill.

also a nice touch keeping the focus of those panels on the two boys and their reactions. even though I would have liked to see All Might’s face when he thanked them at the end, it definitely felt deliberate. this is their moment. their soft little tearful smiles afterwards punted my heart off a cliff and then picked it up and held it gently.

lastly, let it be known that I’m still convinced Katsuki has OFA (All Might vestige explanation when??), and it’s not lost on me that that would be a mighty convenient way for Izuku to potentially still go on a-quirkin’ in the end, if that’s how Horikoshi wants to play it. I'm just saying.

also before I forget, just a quick shoutout to Horikoshi for FINALLY showing all three members of the Bakufam in a scene together in which they finally managed to not be completely dysfunctional lol. my deepest darkest BnHA secret is that Mitsuki is secretly super high up on my list of favorite characters. and she was great in this chapter, and I love how she was just “WHAT THE FUCK” aghast at Katsuki using his main character powers to continuously ignore his injuries. and then she and Masaru kind of silently agreeing to step outside the room and let the boys and All Might have their moment. while still secretly listening in. because you know they were. good for them.

lastly for reals, I just want you all to remember that as great as this chapter was, the one thing that it was STILL missing which we have STILL not gotten is a HUG. we demand HUGS. I’m not leaving this manga till I get a bkdk hug goddammit. I will stay here all night if I have to.

[atlafan]

20 & 28 from the prompt list pls!

20. “I’m gonna fuck you so good you forget all about that bastard.”

28. “I love that we both already finished and your legs are still shaking.”

smut prompts

—————————————————————-

“He did what?” Harry’s jaw fell open as his dear friend, Y/N, told him about why she was newly single.

“He accepted a job across the country and expected me to drop everything to go with him! He didn’t even tell me he was looking for other opportunities. I mean, it’s a big step up for him, but to assume I’d quit my own job to go play house with him??? My whole family is here. I’d be sick to my stomach knowing I couldn’t see my nephews as regularly as I do now.” She sighed heavily and looked at her friend. “Can I crash here for a few days? If I go back to my place, I know he’ll show up and try to convince me to go with him again.”

“So, it’s over, just like that?”

“Yup. I’m not sabotaging my own career for a man. We’re clearly on different wave lengths, I guess it’s better to find out now.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N. Of course you can stay with me. Stay as long as you like.”

“Thank you.” She wraps her arms around his neck and sighs. “You’re such a good friend.”

Harry’s been waiting for Y/N and her boyfriend to break up for ages. He’s not one of those guys who’s only friends with a girl because he wants it to lead to more. That would be shitty of him. But he and Y/N have been friends for a while now, and as years have gone by, he’s started looking at her differently. A tiny crush started to bloom. He noticed how her laugh made him feel and how her smile gave him butterflies. It was gradual, natural. But he wasn’t sure how to bring this up to her, and there was never a good time. She was in a relationship, and he assumed she was happy, so he never let on about his feelings.

But now, Y/N is single. Harry’s not going to pounce on her right away. He knows she’ll need time to grieve the loss of her relationship. He also doesn’t want her to think he’s taking advantage of the vulnerable state she’s in. So, he’ll continue being the good friend that he is, and when the time is right, he’ll tell her how he feels.

//

Y/N was never one to wear her heart on her sleeve. She didn’t cry in public. She wanted people to think she was fine at all times. But after a month or so of being single, she found herself moping around a lot. She thought about her ex all the time. She hated it, but it was hard not to think of him. She wanted to know how his new job was going because she still cared. But then she’d remind herself that he probably doesn’t care how she’s doing, and then she’d distract herself with something to do.

Then, on a random Tuesday, two months later, a mutual friend sent her a message saying her ex was in a new relationship. He was posting her on main, laughing and smiling.

And that’s when Y/N finally cracked. She cried. She cried her eyes out until they were swollen and puffy. She couldn’t sleep when she tried to go to bed, so she texted Harry and asked if she could come over. He said yes.

“I don’t even know why I care.” She groaned as she told him about the ordeal. “How are men able to move on so quickly? I think about him every day. He always crosses my mind. I’m not even doing it on purpose. He probably never thinks about me.”

“He probably thinks about you all the time and started dating again to fill the void. That’s what I would do if I fucked up as badly as he did.”

“You know what bugs me the most? I have confirmation that he’s having sex. Someone else is giving him orgasms when all I’ve had for the last three months are my own hands and my vibrator. I’m too scared to meet some random dude from an app. I’m losing my mind, Harry. I feel like a feral cat in heat.” She chugs some water and takes a deep breath.

“You’re that horny, huh?”

“You have no idea. Masturbating and watching porn is fun and all, don’t get me wrong, but after a while it’s not exactly exciting. Feels like a chore.”

“I’m going to propose something, and I really want you to think about it before you decide it isn’t a good idea.” He runs a hand through his hair. “What if we had sex?”

“We, like, you and I?”

“Yeah.”

“No offense, but the idea of being pity fucked by my friend isn’t exactly getting my panties wet.”

“It’s not a pity fuck. Don’t be mad, but I’ve wanted to have sex with you for a very long time.”

“Great, so you’ve only been friends with me-“

“Don’t even go there because it’s not like that. We’ve been friends for five years. The last two, you were dating that asshole. A crush sort of snuck up on me around the time you and him started dating. I felt weirdly jealous every time you’d blow our friend group off to go be with him. And when I really thought about why, I realized that it was because I liked you as more than a friend.”

“You’ve liked me for two years?”

“Yeah.”

“Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“You were in love with him. I didn’t want to get in the way of your happiness. I’m fine if we just stay friends. I want you in my life, I don’t care how.”

“Why didn’t you make a move right after we broke up?”

“Other than not wanting to be your rebound, I knew you just needed a friend. You were vulnerable, I couldn’t take advantage of that.”

“You’d really want to fuck so quickly? Don’t you want to take me out on a date first?”

“You’re not the only one who feels feral, Y/N.”

“I can’t believe how stupid and oblivious I am.” She slides her hands down her face. “You’re a great guy, I’d be lucky to date you. My family already adores you. We practically go on dates all the time as it is.” She facepalms, then looks at him. “You really would fuck me right now?”

“Yes. Do…are you even attracted to me…sexually?”

“Harry, you’re the prettiest guy I’ve ever seen. Of course I’m attracted to you.”

“How would I have known that?! I’m not a mind reader!”

“Don’t raise your voice at me, I’m sad!”

“You’ve been sad for three goddamn months.” He steps towards her, backing her up to the sink counter, caging her in. “And I’m over it. I’m gonna fuck you so good you forget all about that bastard.”

“Oh, wow.” Her eyelids become hooded as she looks at him. “Yes.” She nods. “Please, I want that. I want you to fuck me, Harry.”

“Good. Jump.”

She puts her hands on his shoulders and jumps so she can wrap her legs around his waist. Harry’s mouth crashes to hers as he carries her to his bedroom. Y/N feels lightheaded as he lays her down, staying on top of her. Her fingers squeeze at his hair as she licks into his mouth. He tastes like mint, and it makes her moan. His hands slide up under her shirt, pawing at her breasts over her bra.

“Fuck, just take it off. Take it all off.” She whines, and he smirks down at her.

“Look who’s all eager all of a sudden.” He sits up and takes his own shirt off. Before he can reach for Y/N’s, she’s tackling him down and sponging kisses to his chest. Her tongue glides down over his butterfly tattoo. She inches further down until she’s nosing at his erection over his joggers. “I’m supposed to be taking care of you.”

“Don’t care, want it.” She tucks her fingers into the waistband of his joggers and looks up at him. “Can I?”

“Yes.”

He lifts his hips to help her and she gets the garment off. She kisses him over his briefs and licks his tip through the material. She even takes it into her mouth like this, and it rips a moan from Harry’s throat. Her eyes snap to his, completely blown out.

“God, I should have known you were vocal.” She whimpers. She tugs his briefs down and wastes no time getting the head of Harry’s cock into her mouth. She runs her tongue over his slit and suckles on the blurts of precome oozing out. She wraps her hand around him and slides her mouth off. “Jesus, you’re so big. I’m gonna see if I can get it down my throat.”

“You don’t have to, what you did before felt great.” He runs a hand through her hair and whimpers again.

“No, I want to choke on it. I really like giving head.”

“That’s something we have in common.” He smirks.

She spits onto his tip and takes him back into her mouth. She doesn’t go slow, she goes down fast and chokes, then pulls off, spitting on him to make it wet and messy, then she repeats. She does it until her throat can handle keeping him there for a moment. She swallows around him a few times before coming off and pumping him with her hand.

“Do you want to come in my mouth?”

“Are you gonna be a good girl and swallow it?”

“Fuck, and you’re kinky?! Should’ve done this a long time ago, Harry.”

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“Yes, I’ll swallow it.”

“Then go on and take it.”

She’s not pretty about it. She chokes and gags and sucks and bobs until Harry’s spurting rope after rope down her throat. He sits up after she pulls off and slots his mouth over hers. He grips the hem of her short and lifts it off. She unhooks her bra and lays back on the bed. Her back arches the second Harry’s tongue is circling her nipple.

“Best tits I’ve ever fucking seen.” He growls as he works his way to her other nipple. “So big and soft.”

“You don’t mind that they’re not all perky?”

“Why would I? A boob is a boob is a boob.” He sucks a good amount of one into his mouth, leaving marks from his teeth on her sensitive skin. He kisses down her stomach and hooks his fingers into the waistband of her leggings. “Can I take these off?”

“Yes.” She smiles softly. “And my panties too, please. I don’t like the feeling of sitting in my cold, wetness.”

“Heard.” He pulls both of the garments off and tosses them to the floor before splitting her thighs open. She’s glistening for him. He wells up some spit and watches it fall on and down her slit. “So fucking pretty.”

He spreads her lips apart, running his fingers through her sticky folds. His thumbs spread apart the top so he can find her clit. He taps on it with his finger, making her gasp.

“Did I find it, baby?” It’s rhetorical because before she can answer, his licking over it.

He wraps his lips around it and sucks hard, rapidly. He flicks the tip of his tongue over it, swirls it around, spits on it, then goes back to sucking. The sounds are wet and obscene. Y/N has a hand stuffed in his hair while the other clutches at the sheets. She moans out when she feels his middle finger sink inside her.

“So fucking tight.” He groans.

“I can take another, please, wanna feel you stretch me out.”

Harry grins and lets his ring finger join the middle. He works them in and out of her, wanting to prep her hole for what’s to come. Then he lets them stay deep inside and curls them to her front wall as he shallowly thrusts in and out. He gets his mouth back on her clit and uses his free hand to keep her thigh down and open.

“Fuck, just like that.” Her head rolls back and her mouth hangs open as she rolls her hips forward to meet his thrusts. “Harry, shit, you’re so good. Don’t stop.” Her toes start curling and her legs start shaking, and Harry laughs so sinisterly low that it makes her head dizzy. One of her heels digs into his shoulder blade. She’s panting and moaning and writing under him. “Oh, oh fuck.” She feels the coil deep in her belly about to snap. “Oh, fuck, I’m gonna come, don’t stop.” The bed starts creaking and the headboard starts thudding against the wall. Harry’s rutting his hips into the mattress and moaning into her. “Harry, Harry, Harryyyyyy, fuck, I’m coming, I’m coming, I’m coming.” Her back arches off the bed as she lets go. Harry fucks her through it, keeping his fingers deep inside her. He gives her throbbing clit a break, then slowly takes his fingers out when he hears her breathing evening out.

He sucks his fingers into his mouth, and his surprised when Y/N grips his jaw to pull him down to her. He takes his fingers out and replaces them with her mouth. They moan against each other, both relishing in the filthy kiss.

“Do you want to keep going?” He asks.

“Are you hard again?”

“Yeah.”

“That’s some good stamina.” She smirks.

“Eating you out made me hard again. Taste so fucking good.” He reaches into his side table drawer and pulls out a foil packet. He sits back on his feet and rips it open to roll onto his cock.

“Do you mind if I play the role of a pillow princess? Kind of want you to just do what you want with me.”

“Yeah? Does being used turn you on?”

“Like this…by you…it does.”

“This might hurt a little since it’s been a while for you. If you need me to stop, just tell me and I will.”

“Okay.”

Harry lines himself up and slowly pushes inside. Y/N bites into his shoulder. The stretch burns, but the pain soon turns to pleasure once he’s all the way in. His tip is already nudging into her g-spot.

“Good?” He asks.

“Yes, thank you. You can move.”

He pulls out about halfway before thrusting back in. Y/N is so sweet for him, he slips out a couple of times before he can get a rhythm going. He sits up and throws her legs over his shoulders, pounding into her. The sound of skin slapping against skin fills the room. She raises her hips and starts moaning uncontrollably. The angle is perfect. He thumbs at her clit, and her nails dig into the meat of his thighs.

“I’m getting close.” She twitches under him, wanting to close her legs to get some relief, but she can’t. “Please, don’t stop.” She whimpers up at him. “Feels so good.”

“Love watching you take it.” He grunts. “We fit so perfectly, your pussy was made for me.”

“Oh, fuck!” Apparently, that’s all she needed in order to come. She drenches his cock, which surprises the both of them. “Oh my god!” She cries out, a second wave of pleasure washing over her. It’s like the never ending orgasm. “Please tell me I didn’t just pee on you.” She sits up on her elbows and is mortified by the wet spot between them. “I had all that water beforehand-“

“You didn’t pee, Y/N.” Harry chuckles. “You just squirted a little. Well, a lot, but you know what I mean.”

“I’ve never done that before.” She blinks.

“Poor thing.” He pouts down at her. “Didn’t it feel so good to get a release like that?” He places his hands on the back of her thighs and pushes them down until her knees are on either side of her head. “Hm?”

“Yes, felt amazing.”

“I’ll make you do it again, baby, don’t worry. Gonna give it to you like you deserve. Hold your legs there for me.” He grips her hips and starts moving her on and off his cock. He watches as her eyes roll back and he laughs lowly. “Feel good?”

“Soooo good, oh my god.”

His fingers comes together and he slaps her clit, over and over and over until she’s panting and crying out and making a mess. He pulls out to move her onto her side. She sighs contently, happy to give her legs a break. But it’s not long until Harry is putting one of her legs over his shoulder and sliding back in, fucking her from the side.

“Christ, can feel you in my guts.”

“M’not hitting your cervix right? It still feels good?”

“Feels amazing, keep going.”

“Rub your clit. I wanna come at the same time.”

She slides her hand down and touches herself. She could honestly come from the sound of Harry moaning alone, but his cock beating into her g-spot is also a big help. She screams his name as she comes, making another mess. Harry grunts and whimpers and moans as he fills the condom.

He waits until they’ve both caught their breaths to pull out. Y/N rolls onto her back while Harry throws the condom away. The bed creaks as he lays back down next to her. Her lower half twitches every so often, her thighs still quivering.

“I love that we both already finished and your legs are still shaking.” He turns onto his side and draws shapes into her belly.

“Shut up.” She breathes. “I can’t even feel them.”

“You should really come with me to Pilates more often.”

“Who needs Pilates when you’re going to be fucking me like that regularly?” She turns her head to the side to look at him.

“Oh, am I going to be fucking you regularly? I didn’t get that memo.” He smirks.

“Yes, generally, when two people start dating, they fuck regularly.”

“Are you serious?” He sits up, hope painted all over his face. “You can really see us being a romantic couple?”

“Yeah.” She smiles up at him and caresses his cheek. “I’d really like to give this a shot.”

“Oh, Y/N, that makes me so happy.” He moves to lay on top of her and buries his face in her neck. She holds him to her chest, content with having his weight on her.

“Harry?”

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for being you.”

He moves to look at her and pecks her lips. “You’re welcome.”

[atinylittlepain]

Nothing to Hide - A Joel Miller Story

no outbreak!joel miller x f!reader

joel miller masterlist

she learns a couple new things about her man over the course of a night.

warnings | 18+ SMUT, and nothing but(t), yes this is a pegging fic

a/n | it's here! welcome, everyone, to the inaugural night of the Peg that Middle-Aged Man Campaign 2023! over the course of the next week or so, I as well as a handful of my favorite writers will be putting out some excellent fics under this campaign for the whole spectrum of Pedro Pascalian characters! so keep your eye out! much more to come, muahahahaha

i know for a fact that both @beskarandblasters and @wannab-urs will be posting or have already posted two other spectacular PMAMC fics on this fine evening, so go check those out as well!

.......................................................

“What is that?”

“Don’t– you can’t laugh.”

“Oh my god, Joel. What the fuck is it?” 

“Well what d’you think it is?”

“I think you lost a bet is what I think.” He’s silent for a moment, his lack of a reply all the answer she needs to burst out into laughter.

“No, really?” Joel lets out a huff.

“I was really really drunk and dumb, ok? Jesus, woman, stop looking at it!” She stifles her laugh enough to turn him around by his shoulder so he’s facing her, running a quick hand through his curls, his face flushed and set in a scowl.

“Oh, baby, I’m gonna be looking at it a lot with what I’m about to do to you.” She can see the bob of his throat in the faint light of her bedroom, the way his eyes go a touch hazy, drooping under his lashes. He’s pretty, something she’s known since they started dating, though she also knows he’d probably short-circuit if she ever called him that. But tonight, she intends to treat him like it, giving, providing, where he’s always so eager to do the same. 

“Why don’t you lay out on the bed for me, handsome?” He gives her a jerky nod, seeming to think twice before he cups her cheek in his palm, dragging a hot kiss from her before he complies. He’s still in his boxers, long expanses of tan, bare strength laid out on her sheets, propped up on his elbows to watch her as she rifles through a dresser drawer to find a few things. His eyes widen when she turns back to him, baby pink strap in one hand and a bottle of lube in the other. 

“Don’t worry about it, baby. We’re gonna work you up to it, ok? And if you don’t like anything, just tell me and I’ll stop.” It’s setting heat threading through her core, thick and warm, the silk of her panties sticking to her cunt from the pulse of arousal, coaxed on by the stark contrast of how he normally is to how she gets him right now. Her man, always in control, always the strong one, the dominant one, the giver, laying it all willingly at her feet.

It had started with a bit of pillow talk one night. Joel knew that she had been with women in the past, but he had never been so bold as to ask anything about it, not until that night, drunk on sweat and sex, a boyish grin slipping across his lips, turning dark and reverential fast when she was more than happy to tell him about her experience, going so far as to show him the toys she had held onto. But what she hadn’t been expecting was Joel Miller, the walking homage to southern masculinity, asking his next question.

“You ever used that, um, with– with men?” 

They had talked about it more afterward, Joel eager to bring it up, ask questions, seemingly just as perplexed as she was that he was so interested in it.

“I don’t know, I mean– never thought about something like this before. But, with you it just– fuck, it seems kinda hot.”

And that’s how they’ve ended up here, her kneeling between his spread legs on her bed, palms rubbing up and down his thighs as she leans over and lays a kiss to the little swell of his belly, smiling against the jump of his muscles. 

“Relax for me, Joel. I promise I’m gonna take good care of you. You trust me, right?” 

“I– yeah, I do.” She slides one palm up from his thigh to his chest, pressing lightly to get him to lay back.

“Then just let me do all the work, alright? Gonna make you feel good.” With that, she draws her attention back down to the waistband of his boxers, hooking her fingers in the sides to tug them down and off his legs before settling back between his thighs, her fingers tapping the joints of his knees as a light command.

“Can you bend your knees for me, baby? Need you a little more opened up than this.” She’s surprised by the groan he lets out at her simple question, a breathless shake of his head.

“Fuck, I– you– that–” She cuts off his floundering, her palm rubbing a soothing circle against his chest.

“Hey, if you don’t feel comfortable, we don’t have to do anything different, seriously.” “No! I mean, no, I want to. It’s just– different. But different’s good. I’m good.” How could she say no to that?

“Ok, baby, I’m gonna warm you up. You tell me if I do anything you don’t like, alright?” He nods, his eyes staying glued on hers as she ducks back down, lips ghosting over the underside of his already hard cock before lapping gently at the tip. She works him over with her mouth for a while, taking him down as far as she can, her hand stroking the rest, reveling in the way his muscles slacken and tense beneath her ministrations, the way he starts to let himself go to the pleasure, his head pressed back into the pillows, eyes scrunched shut, shaky pants and curses leaving his lips. When it seems like she’s gotten him nice and relaxed, she pulls off of him, continuing to lap at his length while she fumbles around for her bottle of lube, spreading a dollop between her palms before getting her hands on his length.

“Just want you to get used to the feel of this stuff, alright, baby?” He hisses at the cool contact, but lets out a breathy, low-rumbled uh-huh as she swirls her slicked-up palm down his cock, slipping her hand down to cup his balls, a move that sets a broken groan thrumming in his throat. Her other hand presses against his thigh, getting him to open up more for her as she slips a finger down a little further, finding that tight ring of muscle and applying a bit of pressure, Joel’s hips bucking up at the sensation. 

“Easy, baby, gotta stay relaxed for me if I’m gonna open you up.” He lets out a disbelieving laugh, throwing his head back as she presses her finger in, her other hand lazily stroking his cock as she does.

“Jesus, fuck– you’re good, so fucking good. Never felt anything like this be-before.” She smiles up at him, pressing a kiss to his hip as she slowly pumps her finger inside of him, only stopping to lathe more lube over her hand.

“Think you can take another one, baby? You ready for that?” He nods, a long sigh leaving his lips, but that’s not good enough for her.

“Need words, Joel. You gotta tell me what you want.” 

“I– yes, more, please. Want more.” To get a please out of Joel Miller is no small feat, and she revels in it, just a little, easing a second finger in along her first one, stretching him out even more. He’s a vision, chest flushed, cheeks ablaze, one hand tugging at his mussed-up hair, the other balled into a tight fist in the sheets as she works him open. It’s messy as hell, lube slicking up everything, dripping between his thighs, his cock throbbing in her hand, his words a filthy slur of praise and curses that go straight to her aching core.

“Do you wanna finish like this, baby? Or do you wanna take it a little further?” 

“More, yeah, want you– want you to go further.” She slips her fingers out of him with a smile, crawling further up the bed to steal a kiss, his mouth insistent and devouring before she pulls away with a lewd smack. His eyes trail up and down her body as she stands at the foot of the bed, first slipping her bra off, followed by her panties, before reaching for the strap. And he’s an intent and willing audience, following the way she slides the harness over her hips, deft fingers fitting it snug to her body.

“Can I have you on all fours, handsome?” He moves tentatively, a dazed look on his face when he glances over his shoulder at her, trying to watch as she spreads lube over her silicone dick. Her eyes, meanwhile, are focused back on the thing she had been so shocked to see earlier, moreso surprised that he had somehow managed to hide it from her over the months that they’ve been dating. Thick, dark ink, one of those culturally insensitive, faux-tribal numbers she’s sure he walked into a parlor and just pointed at on the wall, goaded on by Tommy and his construction crew buddies no doubt. There’s no two ways about it, Joel Miller has a tramp stamp, and she can’t help but lay a giggling kiss to it, causing him to let out a huff over his shoulder. 

“I’m gonna get it removed, ok? Just– haven’t gotten around to it yet.” 

“And what if I kinda like it?” She can barely keep a straight face saying it, biting back a laugh as he huffs at her again, though she’s quick to soothe him, running a palm up his spine before her hand settles at his hip.

“I’m sorry, baby, no more teasing. You ready for me?” When all he does is nod, she taps him on the ass, a few pats of her palm seeming to remind him what she wants.

“Yes, fuck, ready.” She keeps one palm splayed over his lower back (and his tattoo), holding him steady as she slowly presses forward, easing him into it with gentle rocks of her hips. He’s breathing hard, little groans loosing from his chest, but he doesn’t tell her to stop, letting out a long sigh when she’s finally seated fully inside. She curls over him, pressing a kiss to his shoulder, her words a faint rasp into his skin.

“Doing so good for me, Joel. Tell me when you want me to move, baby, take your time.” He cranes his neck, looking for a kiss she’s happy to give him, a desperate tangle that’s still so sweet. 

“You can move, I just– fuck– it’s good, feels really fucking good.” It’s what she wants, wants him to feel good, and to keep feeling good, leaning slightly back on her knees to find a slow rhythm with her hips, one hand reaching around to stroke his throbbing cock, Joel letting out a harsh moan when she does. She’s never heard these sounds from him before, broken grunts and breathy chants of her name with each thrust of her hips, completely losing himself in the sensation. She curls back over him, her hips set in a deep grind as she drags her lips over his temple.

“That feel good, baby? Nice to have someone take care of you, huh? Taking it so good, Joel. You gonna come for me? Gonna let me have it?” 

“Jesus fucking christ, feels so fucking good– you’re gonna kill me, shit– fucking close, so fucking close.” With one more pass of her hand over his cock, one more rock of her hips, he comes on a punched-out exhale, slumping down onto his elbows with a shuddering heave. She presses kisses all over his shoulder blades as she pulls out, trying to soothe the hiss he lets out at the ache, quick to guide him onto his back so he doesn't flop down into a pool of his own spend. If he hears her low-murmured be right back, he doesn’t show it, forearm slung over his face, chest still heaving as she slips out of the bedroom to get him a glass of water.

“Is this how you feel? After we– when I– when we–” She cuts off his stumbling question with a light laugh, sitting down on the side of the bed next to him and coaxing a few sips of water out of him. 

“So you liked it?” He quirks a brow at her, one of his hands coming to rest on her thigh, squeezing the swell of it when she laughs again at his expression.

“Gotta be honest, darlin, my expectations were low. Kinda wanted to try it just to see, I guess. But fuck, that was, uh, that was something else.” She can’t help herself, leaning down for a quick kiss that he chases after with a much deeper one, greedy hands squeezing and pulling until she’s getting dragged onto his lap, wincing at the slick stick of it and pulling away.

“What? What’s wrong? C’mon, darlin, wanna take care of you now.” Though he tries to pull her back in for a kiss, she plants a firm palm on his forehead to hold him back, stifling a laugh at his perplexed expression.

“That sounds nice, but you are covered in lube and it’s sticking to everything. Can we continue this in the shower, baby?” Ever the gentleman, Joel acquiesces to her request, letting her get up before shuffling into the bathroom in all his bare glory to get the water warmed up. 

It’s an irresistible urge, walking into the bathroom, seeing his back facing her, his cute little ass and the hilarious art just above it, and she just has to give a quick pinch to his hip before raking her nails over the ink, grinning at him as he turns around with an exasperated huff.

“Ain’t ever gonna let me live this down, are you?” 

“That depends, do you have any other tattoos you’ve been hiding from me?” His grin goes smarmy, drawing a gasp out of her when he pulls her into him with a hooked arm around her waist, pressing a hard kiss to her lips.

“Nothing else to hide, darlin. Think you’ve seen it all now.”

...........................

tags for folks who i think would enjoy this lmao: @wannab-urs @beskarandblasters @jksprincess10 @cutesyscreenname @swiftispunk @northernbluess @pr0ximamidnight

[restinslices]

Silly little request but how do you think LKB would dress like casually? Like once every blue moon they have a day off and ding need to wear their uniforms? Can you do this in bullet points?

Them not in their uniforms is such a normal concept but it seems so weird for them if you know what I mean. Like, wdym they don’t wear those outfits to sleep? Also this is probably shorter than other posts because it’s about outfits, yk?

Bi-Han

Black. Moving on-

On some real shit though, I feel like this man’s entire wardrobe is in greyscale 

Someone’s like “hey there’s this event coming up! Can you wear a blue shirt?”

You’d think he’d have blue but nope. Nothing but blacks and greys and maybe a white in there 

I saw a post of biker Bi-Han and I definitely see it now 

Idk if the pictures imma attach at the end are really biker tho so that’s why I’m saying mainly blacks 

Like Elsa, the cold doesn’t bother him anyway so jackets aren’t really a thing he has to wear. He kinda just does because it makes the outfit look better 

That’s all the brain power he puts into it though because this man doesn’t care about his wardrobe at all 

He cares enough to not look sloppy but he doesn’t care about piecing shit together or brands and designer. If you look closely you can see he’s wearing the same shirt he was wearing yesterday 

He wears black because he’s still thinking like an assassin. The whole “I shouldn’t be noticeable” thing 

Which is wild when you think about how he’s definitely noticeable in that blue outfit but idk

He also wears black because… he doesn’t know 

He checked his closet and realized that shit looked like a black void but refuses to actually wear more color 

I don’t see him accessorizing much either. He only carries stuff he can fit in his pockets 

Kuai Liang

Lazy 

Bi-Han adds a jacket for a bit of razzle dazzle but Kuai Liang doesn’t 

In all fairness, he gets hot easily (this is stereotypical but idc) so a jacket isn’t gonna work 

He wears the most basic t shirts and pants 

Like he legit got the same white shirt 50 times 

The shit is despicable 

I don’t think he adds many accessories either. He probably doesn’t carry much on him 

Long sleeves never really happen either 

Honestly I don’t think of any them dress with any special aesthetic in mind

But him? Extra lazy

I am being so serious when I say he buys the same clothes over and over again. He forgets he has a white t shirt in his closet so he buys another and the cycle repeats 

Probably doesn’t care as much because what are the chances he’ll be out of uniform?

You know how people say men's outfits are so boring? He’s the main example they use because there’s no personality with his shit 

I don’t see him doing much on his off days though so that’s probably why he just throws something on

He’s just getting dressed to go grocery shopping 

Tomas Vrbada 

The one with the most style 

Which isn’t saying a lot 

Wears multiple layers 

Why do I think this way? Idk. But if I said they all dress the same, it’d be boring so here we are

He probably has a normal type of body heat since he’s not a pyromancer or cryomancer so he’s wearing hoodies and jackets because he’s genuinely cold 

He accidentally has style 

Wearing a hoodie and jacket is stylish to people for whatever reason. He doesn’t get it but he’s like “yeah, I definitely have fashion sense. It’s definitely not because I’m cold all the time. That just doesn’t sound like me”

May accessorize a bit but not as much 

As a whole I think accessories can become heavy and get in the way and our boys gotta be ready to bust a move if something pops off. Just because they’re off duty doesn’t mean they’re not paying attention or in danger 

So that’s why our boys travel light 

He has those smoke bombs and shit so he might have a little pouch with him but I don’t think he’d carry a backpack. Goes back to being too heavy 

If something can’t fit in a pouch, it’s staying home 

Dresses in neutral colors. I don’t think any of them are necessarily into bright colors 

Doesn’t have the same exact clothes but wears them the same exact way. His outfits look like a skin variation 

He’s doing his best 

Remember all I do for you because imagining them in normal clothes fucked me up more than I’d like to admit

[formulaonesmut]

pretty in blue f.t PG10 & GR63

PLEASE DO NOT READ UNDER THE AGE OF 18<3  

Summary : Jesus, i don’t have the right words for this, your on a date with Pierre but you got caught. What will George think? 

Warnings : SMUT, P IN V, THREESOME, BlOWJOB, FINGERING, GETTING CALLED SLUT, WHORE ECT, BOY ON BOY STUFF XD, GETTING CAUGHT, NO MENCIONTS OF PROTECTION ( wrap it up before you tap it)  probably way more, but don’t wanna give spoilers 

Word count ; 9.000 + words  

a/n:  Sooo i am so so so sorry for not posting this long but I’m currently busy with school. I started with writing this fic i think 3 months ago, but every time i just didn’t got the motivation. I don’t know how to feel about this fic, its a lot, its long and its sometimes bad written. Please tell me what you guys think about this, and please share it. Because i still think that many people want to read this.

A BIG THANK YOU TO @carlos55edits 🫶🏼

18+ WARNING!!!!  

THERE ARE SOME POINTS THAT THERE IS BOY X BOY SMUT, THIS ALL IS PURE FANTASY SO PLEASE RESPECT IT!  

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It’s a Friday night and you and Pierre are as usual on a date. He showed you every nice spot here in France. And yes you got butterflies…  

Later in the evening, George would come over. He came to talk about his new contract with Mercedes. You and George were gog friends, so you didn’t mind that he was coming over. 

He had a boat tour ready for you two. It took us to an island and it was beautiful! You were there the whole afternoon. 

Not a while later, we sat down on the beach by the water. Your back against his chest, settled between his legs watching sunset.  

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‘’Y/n?’’ Pierre spoke from behind, his head was buried in your neck. His warm breath on your skin while you watched peacefully the sun going down.  

‘’yes Pierre?’’ you blushed, his hand letting yours go. Making you frown confused. Did you do something wrong? 

‘’ I have something for you. Can you turn around?’’ he asked.  You felt him grabbing something out his jacket.  

 You slowly sat up, turning around, facing the handsome boy Pierre Gasly in front of you.  

‘’Well uhm.. I wanted to give you this today.. I uhm’’ he stutter. You bought your hand up, letting it fall on top of his. 

He held up a small red box. When he opened the box, you immediately let out a gasp.  

‘’Oh my! Pierre!’’ Your voice broke, tears forming in your eyes.   

 

Was he proposing already?  

 

‘’I hope you like it. It’s a promise ring y/n. I can’t promise that we don’t have our downs but believe me,  I will fight for you and iI wont let-‘’ you interrupted him with a kiss, a few tears rolling down your cheek, his hand coming up to cup your cheek. The kiss was soft and sweet.  

He pulled back, smiling proudly while putting the Diamond ring around your finger.  

‘’I really like you y/n’’ he blushed, his bottom lip, sucked between his teeth. 

‘’I do really like you too Pierre.” You blushed while looking down at the ring. 

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Everything was so natural between you and Pierre. It was like you were a couple for so long. He is always so sweet and caring but he also has his dominant days, or you better could say. When you were teasing him too long or not listening.  

Few minutes later 

 

You were between his legs as he sat on the ground leaned back on his hands looking at the sea as you got an amazing idea. 

You quickly turned around, your belly hitting the hot sand underneath you. You propped up on your elbows as you looked up at him, your head  dangerously close to his crotch.  

Pierre looks down at you and just smiles, not knowing what you are gonna do. 

‘’What are you doing princess? Ruining the peace?’ ’he giggled. Your cheeks immediately heating up. You looooved his smile and he knew that.  

You slowly laid your head on his lap, dangerously close to his dick. Your head moving a bit, making the fabric to move with your movements, causing it to move over his boxer.  

You enjoying the view huh? ’’ his hand came down to caresses your hair and to stop your movements. 

You smiled to yourself before lifting your head up towards him, His cheeks are coloring red.  

‘’Oh! Do you have it hot my boy?’’ you smile, biting your lower lip as you lay one hand on his crotch, slowly pressing a bit. 

‘’Yeahh.. not weird huh when I have the hottest girl in front of me, acting shy as always but I know you were your going to’’ he chuckled before laying back, popped up on his elbows, staring deeply at you.  

‘’Oh, I don’t know what your talking about Pierre’’ you smiled, slowly palming him between your giggles, ‘acting’ like you didn’t do it on purpose. His dick slowly harding at your movements.  

‘’I dare you to finish what you just started’’ he smirked down at you, biting his lip. He knew that you never would do that. You just didn’t like the idea of getting caught. 

You quickly glanced around, seeing almost one around you two. Some people are swimming, but that’s at least 100 meter further. You looked down at your watch, 19;32, so we had enough time to finish it before George would meet us.  

‘’Oh your shy now? ‘’ he smiled ‘’I knew it!’’ he laughed  

Your hands flew to his pants, pulling them down until the middle of his thighs, smiling as your both hands ran over his boxer. 

‘’Fuck- mon amour...  You don’t have too’’ he breathed out almost shy to beg for your touch 

You and Pierre were sex addicts, no but literally. Pierre may seemed like he was a bad boy but he was always so caring and made sure your comfortable with it. Buttt... He did have his dominance days.  

 

Your hands pulling his boxer a bit further down, his cock sprung free against his abdomen. And Jesus, Pierre was really big. Your jaw dropped against the sight, him on a beach, watching sunset while sucking him off. Your eyes tracing the veins on his hard cock that are about to burst. Pierre was so easily to turn on and you loved it. 

 

‘’Baby girl, I don’t think I can last any longer. Please do something’’ Pierre whined 

Your mind flashing to yesterday night. Even though you were drunk, you had an amazing night. The bed, the shower, and even the toilet there was ruined by you too.  

‘’Oh? Already begging before we even start?’’ you  teased him, repeating his words from yesterday night. 

‘’Please. Baby please I promise I will make it up to y-‘’ before he could finish it your tongue was circling over his tip, licking the precum up.  

‘’Mhm shit. ‘’ he glanced around, checking if no one was looking. 

You leaned down, licking a long stripe up following a vein that runs to his tip, his body immediately reacting. His breathing quickens as he got goosebumps all over his body.  

‘’Baby girl, you don’t know how much I love you’’ he breathed out, his breathing is heavy and seriously unsteady.  

You slowly close your lips around his red tip and start to suck it while your hand is pumping his shaft. Your mouth stays at his tip, making him whine and begging for more. Spit starts stringing down your bottom lip, making a wet spot on the hot sand underneath you. 

His hips started to trust upwards, trying to get something more from you. But instead off taking him further into your mouth, you pulled yourself completely off his dick.  

´´ cherrie? Did- did i-i do something w-wrong, did i go to far´´  

Before he could rumble more you stopped him. ´´ ofcourse not, dont be silly babe its just- you really need to stop acting like you didnt got touched´´ you chuckled. ´´ oh and stop trusting upwards, i have time today´´ you winked, he clearly understood you but he almost exploded and he just need to come, NOW.  

You saw him thinking, searching for something to make you keep going. And then he just found the perfect dare .‘’Oh- don’t get me wrong princess but not that someone would see that your sucking me off. I’m way to big for your pretty mouth so you can´t hide it’’   

Pierre his smile is big, his cheeks are red glowing, his bottom lip stuck between his teeth, waiting for you to responds. 

“Oh watch me’’ you dared him.  

 You knew you could do it, taking a sharp breath through your nose before leaning in, taking him all the way in your mouth. His tip hits the back of your throat, stopping the movements there making you splutter around him. 

His tip hitting the back of your throat occasionally. Your nose touching his pubic bone as your head starts to bob up and down. It makes you gag every time while you took him all the way down your throat. Yes, he was big and you knew not every girl could do this.  

‘’F..fuck mon amour’’ he moaned his legs moving a bit nervously up. The chance off getting caught is big, its besides that just a normal and public beach. 

‘’Your mouth.. feels like heaven princess’’ Pierre moaned while you picked up the speed, yes you had time but you knew that George could arrive at any moment.  

Your head bobbing up and down, gagging every time his tip hit the back of your throat. He threw his head back, eyes fully closed and his mouth open, moaning things in french while trying to act so normal as possible. 

You could feel yourself drowning in your thoughts. ´what if´ ´ is someone watching  us´ Pierre immediately felt it. 

‘’Get back to work babygirl. I need you to make me cum before George will find us’’ he smiled, his voice cracked. It’s low and full hunger as he bulks his hips upwards. His hips are off the ground as he bottoms out in your mouth, stopping his movements there while he moaned loudly. 

You can hear it in Pierre his voice that he really tries to be quiet, his fingers dinging into the sand and his bottom lip is stuck between his teeth. 

“Fuck p-please f-f-fin-ish it please’’ he struggles. His voice grows lower and lower, groaning as he lowers his hips back down.  

You got immediately back to work as your head bobs up and down, quickening the pace, sucking him off like your starving. Your hand pumping the rest of his cock as your mouth is focused on the tip, circling your tongue and closing your lips around his tip sucking. And yes, you could bet that your thong is a soaked pool. You closed your thighs moving a bit trying to get more friction  

“Fuck! I’m close mon amour’’ he moaned out, looking down at you. “Do you want to swallow it, because if you don’t, you don’t have too’’ he struggled with talking but of course you wanted to swallow. And for the last time you bobbed your head down, nose touching his pubic bone as you felt a warm liquid spilling down your throat.  

You were quick in swallowing, showing your tongue as a quick reminder that you swallowed it all. But before you could show your tongue, your saw 2 long legs standing behind Pierre. And those legs were so familiar.  

It was George. Yes George! He had an amazing view from there, he was perfectly looking down at you.  

Pierre saw your face and immediately knew who was standing behind him. you admitted a few weeks ago that you wanted george to join you and Pierre, but Pierre was a guy, that don’t wanted to share.  

‘’fuck! Uh-’’ Pierre cursed before tugging his pants up, you were quick in turning around. Not that George haven’t seen you already.  

Your hands flying to your face, trying to hide your already watery eyes. The only thing that was on your mind was ‘’how am I gonna face George again?’’ 

You could hear George chuckle ‘’ I’m sorry mate.. didn’t .. uh didn’t really saw that coming’’ George laughed nervously, his hands were folded together in front off his crotch. 

‘’Its okay mate’’ Pierre spoke before shoving a bit towards you, hugging you from behind. ‘’It’s okay princess’’ Pierre whispered in your ear, trying to calm you a bit down. ´hey baby look at me´  

‘’What if he tell-‘’ 

’’Don’t worry  y/n, I wont tell anyone. Besides that you uhm’’ George smiled, Pierre tilted his head to him.  Seeing George standing there, both hands before his crotch. Pierre immediately understood why. It turned George on 

‘Its okay baby. Come on. Lets go home’’ Pierre giggled before getting up, pulling you up also.  

Oh and believe me you struggled. You immediately buried your head in Pierre’s his chest. God this is so embarrassing. 

‘’How did you find us so quickly?’’ Pierre asked george  

‘’Well, no one has that Louie bag like you. So, it wasn’t difficult’’ he chuckled while greet hugging Pierre. 

Pierre motioned to George to come over. George leaned forward and gave you a big hug. You could smelled is cologne and all you could do was relax in his arms. When George pulled away from the hug, he kept standing close. His eyes searching for yours.  ‘’Don’t worry about it angel’’ George smiled softly. Pierre softly pushed you forward making you stand fully pressed up against George, already feeling his hard on poking against your lower belly. You had to look up at him, because George is so tall. The moment your eyes met, it felt just like a movie. 

 Staring deeply into his eyes. It felt strange but something inside you told you that this night wasn’t over. George was the first one to break the silence, 

‘’Oh you uhm-‘’ he points at your mouth ‘’uhm I think you have uh-‘’ George struggled, his cheeks turning red. Your hand came up to take it away but Pierre slapped them right away.  

‘’Let him take it off’’ Pierre smirked while George swallowed hard. It wasn’t weird that Pierre loved to have the control. Normally George was a dominant person too, but somehow he let Pierre instructed him. 

‘’Go on mate take it away then’’ Pierre winked while he settled himself behind you.  

Your standing there, sandwiched between sir Russell and Pierre Gasly. Pierre settled his hands on your waist,  while looking down at your mouth. Seeing his cum dripping out the corner from your mouth made him instantly hard again. 

George brought his hand to your face, his thumb sliding over the corner of your mouth, slowly taking the cum off your red, swollen lips.  

‘’Stick out your tongue baby girl’’ Pierre commanded you. And you were very quick in obeying him, sticking out your tongue to George.  George was quick in understanding and brought his thumb to your mouth. You quickly closed your lips around George his thumb and sucked the cum of george his thumb.  

The ride home was normal. You went upstairs to change into your bikini. Pierre was so lovely to put the Jacuzzi on for you.  

While you were upstairs, Pierre and George settled themselves down at the kitchen table 

The moment you walked down only covered in your blue bikini, a towel under your arm and your phone in the other hand.  ‘’Damn’’ Pierre spoke, leaving both of the boys totally speechless. George immediately felt his cheeks heating up catching himself looking. The bikini wasn’t covering that much and the color blue suited you perfectly. Even better was if it was a Mercedes one.  

‘’Oh come on. Pick up your jaw boys’’ you chuckled before you walked to the fridge, grabbing a drink. While you were bending down to grab it out the fridge, you felt a hand spanking down on your ass cheek. The sudden contact made you moan. 

‘’Hey!’’ you half shout while smiling, immediately walking away leaving Pierre and George there, Pierre´s mouth still open while he was smiling too.  

‘’Don’t stop walking, otherwise you have 2 boys to help’’ Pierre smirked before nudging George.  

‘’I don’t mind though’’ you winked before walking out.  

And within 20 minutes both of the boys came out the house. They were only wearing a pair of swim trunks. George borrowed a set from Pierre.  

‘’It was boring without you two’’ you pouted while the boys got in. They were still talking to each other. Pierre leaned down and gave you a kiss on your forehead.  

‘’Don’t whine so much, otherwise I will bend you over and make you whine.’’ Pierre smirked while he sat down beside you while george took a place in front of you. 

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You all had an amazing night, talked a lot about f1 but also about your life’s. The mood was amazing and you all had so much fun.  

´´Cherrie are you gonna help that little boy out there? Only if you want it of course.. but I bet he wanna fuck your slutty pussy cherrie´ Pierre whispered while he kissed your neck. His puffy lips sucking on your skin. George was minding his own business on his phone. 

You immediately understood what Pierre his plan was.  You swum up to George. Immediately getting his attention. He laid his phone outside the Jacuzzi while you made yourself comfortable on his lap so you were facing the handsome boy George Russell.  

´´ That bulge here´´ just when you said ´here´ you rolled your hips over his crotch, making him bite his lip.    

´It’s painfully hard huh?´´ you smiled. George looked at you, fully in shock. when you leaned down and kissed his lips he thought he was dreaming this. Your tongues finding each other easy, lips moving synchronic against each other. His hands easily finding your but, softly squeezing your ass into his large hands.  

When you both pulled back George immediately looked at Pierre . ´´  Your really okay with this´´ 

´´Yeah I am. In for a threesome?´’ Pierre smiled, he almost chuckled it. He didn’t wanted to admit that it was not easy to see his girl making out and going to fuck someone else.. But it made something loose in him, and it made him instantly hard.  

´With her always!´´ George smiled, your hips started to roll forward over his crotch. His abs spanning together when your  hips rolled over his already semi hard dick.  

´Its so easy to turn you on´ you breath out while you quickly lifted your hips so you could pull George his swim trunks down.  

Your hands flied down to his semi harden cock. Your tiny hands ( if you see Pierre or George his hands, yes your hands are small and tiny) around his cock. Your hands found a easy and steady pace. George closed his eyes as your hand worked up and down his shaft.  

And within 70 seconds he was solid hard. And damn, Pierre was big. Bigger then a normal person but George?!?!? George was HUGE veiny and not to forget, he was long and thick. 

´Cat got your tongue princess?´ George chuckled, his cheeks were glowing red. He always dreamed of this, but he knew you were off limits. You were Pierre’s, not his.  

´Uh woah.. no but uhm.. ´´ you struggled while your hands quickly made work from your bikini bottom. Pierre got up and settled him behind you two.  He sat up on his knees, his hands were on your waist and your back was against his chest to support you.  

Pierre handed you a condom and opened the package for you. You rolled the condom around George and settled yourself above him.  

´Relax cherrie´ Pierre whispered in your ear before helping you sunk down onto George, Pierre’s hands still on your hips.  

You were speechless, Pierre was your first one ever and you never had sex with anyone besides him. Pierre was already a bigger size then a normal person, but George. It felt like this was your first time again. Pain, that was the only thing you could think off.  

´Mhm fuck.. your so.. fucking... tight ´’ George moaned, every time you sunk lower and lower until his whole dick disappeared into you.  

´´Give her a little bit time George´ Pierre smiled, kissing your neck while both men gave you time to get used.  

´´Jesus baby girl. It’s like your already cumin around me.. ´´ 

´´ I- I never had someone that was this .. tight.. fuck .. please relax, I think I’m not gonna last long´´ George moaned, pulling you forward to connect your lips on his. The sudden movement made you moan into his mouth. George took that chance to explore your mouth.  

His lips made a way from your mouth, to your jaw, back to your neck. Pierre hands settled them down on your hips, he slowly lifted you up and down. George was big, but it felt right. The pain slowly started to turn into pleasure. Pierre immediately felt that. Your hips started to move up and down faster and deeper. But Pierre immediately stopped you.  

´´No no cherrie. you gotta follow daddy´s hands now´´ Pierre whispers in your ear. He pressed his hips into your lower back, letting you feel the outlines of his already harden dick.  

´´Go on cherrie, ask George what he want´´ Pierre’s lips grew into a smile. 

´´Georgiee what do you want-´´ you breath out, your eyes closing as George’s tip started to hit your G-spot. 

´Fuck princess!  I want you to cum over me, fuck Your so tight´ George repeated, your walls clenching around his cock.  George started to trust upwards. Pierre stilled your movements while his puffy lips are on your neck creating some purple patches.  

´F-fuck G-Georgie.. ´’you moaned out as George was thrusting upwards in an amazing pace, not slow, not fast.  

George his hands were beside his lap. Steading himself while he trusted inside you. Pierre hands were on your hips, stilling your movements so George could set the pace. George’s hips were thrusting upwards, his dick hitting your g-spot perfectly.  

´Fuck baby girl. You have- you have to stop squeezing me- I-I- im gonna cum´´ George moaned out, his trusts became sloppier. His breathing was fast and deep and he was moaning like crazy. It felt weird at the first time, moaning your name while Pierre was facing him too.  

´I fucking tell you y/n, you're NOT gonna cum on his dick.´’ Pierre commanded you. He could tell you from your face impressions that you were running close.  

´No.. need to be.. jealous Gasly. You can fucking make her cum so many times!´  George snapped, he was close, his hips not slowing down. Besides that, he sped up.  

´Who said this was the last time?´´ Pierre smiled. ´´ Even when we are in a relationship, I don’t mind sharing her with you, but we can talk that later on´´  

George only moaned in response. His dick hitting that sweet spot inside you as his abs started to pull together. His breaths became more and heavier, he pushed Pierre his hands off your hips, to replace them with his own. his hands helping you move faster up and down as Pierre his hand slides over your breasts.  Pierre quickly untied your bikini top, making it fall down as one of his hands grabbed your throat. His hand squeezing your throat a few times before sliding it back down to your breasts.  

´Fuck fuck- I'm gonna c-cum´´ George moaned, and within 5 seconds, his whole body was shaking, he was moaning, his head was thrown back and his eyes were shut.  

Something triggered you, the well-known knot in your stomach. George was driving you to the edge, but before it could snap, Pierre was there. His hands gripped your waist and pulled you upwards off George.  

´Noo- Pierre please- please let me cum´´ you begged. He knew you hated this so much. His grip made you turn around so you were facing Pierre instead of George.  

“Do you want to cum baby?´´ Pierre smiled. You could only nod in responds.  

´´Please daddy. Let me take care of you two´´ you begged Pierre 

´´Only if you ask nicely baby´´ Pierre smirked. He wanted to hear it.  

´Please, please please daddy. Please let me take care of you two´´ you smiled, George got up on his knees too, pressing his body into yours.  

´Oh? Are you gonna be our good girl then?´´ George whispered in your ear, his tongue running over the purple patches that Pierre made.  

´´Yes yes yes Georgie- I will´´ you breath out, you throwed your head back on George’s shoulder. Pierre leaned down and attached his lips on your harden nipple. It made you arch your back forward, pushing Pierre face into your boobs.  

´´Eager?´´ Pierre smiled. His face was tilted upwards and he was slightly blushing.  

´Mhm´ you mumbled. George’s hands were on your ass, kneading it into his hands.  

´How do you want it baby´ Pierre smiled. ´Tell us your dirty thoughts baby´ George added. 

´I know it maybe sounds weird-´ you spoke, but George cut you off.  

´It isn’t weird princess, look we are having a threesome so go on´’ George smiled.  

´Blur it out cherrie´ Pierre bit his lip, waiting for you to go on. His mind was running like crazy. He knew you were kinky in bed but this was something he didn’t saw. 

You hesitated a little bit before spitting it out. ´´ I want you two to kiss, like... With tongue´ ´ 

Pierre and George´s eyes shot wide. Pierre immediately started blushing harder.  

´Oh wow, uh- I- I take my words back´ George chuckled.  

They both stared at you, completely in shock. It was like they were frozen. They just couldn’t find the rights words for this. Not that they didn’t wanted this because deep down, Pierre really wanted to kiss a boy for once.  

´´Only if you want to- but please it's so hot and I- I'm dreaming about that for really long now´´ you blurred out, your cheeks started to heat up. Slightly embarrassed that you said it.  

´Look I know your both straight- but please, if we are gonna have sex more- it's just really hot´  

´´Okay- uhm let this dream of yours come out then´´ George spitted out. Pierre only could blush. He was off the world.  

And before you knew, you were sitting on the edge of the Jacuzzi. Pierre and eorge were settled in front of each other 

Pierre was the first one to make a move. He brought his hand upwards to cup George’s cheek, pulling George forward and kissing his lips. At first, they were slow and it was a little bit awkward. But it immediately felt away when their tongues found each other. Lips moving synchronic with each other. Tongues fighting for dominance. 

George pulled Pierre on his lap. Pierre could feel that George was hardening underneath him. Lips not coming off each other as they kept fighting.  

George could only moan in response. You told him so many times that Pierre was a good kisser and now he could only say yes. Pierre kissed a way down to George’s neck, slowly sucking on his skin.  

´I bet that she is watching us like we are a god Georgie´ Pierre whispered before sucking on his earlobe.  

´Oh fuck y/n.. You didn’t lie when you told me that Pierre is a good kisser´ George breath out while Pierre pulled back. Admiring the purple patch he made on george his neck. 

Pierre turned his face around looking at you.  

´Enjoying the show baby?´ Pierre smiled, accidently rolling his hips over George’s crotch, feeling his already hard dick poking underneath him, George’s heartbeat is fast and he could bet that Pierre could hear it. 

´´ That seemed-  hot..´´ you blushed, you patted beside you on the edge. George smiled and took place beside you. You got off the edge and settled yourself on all fours in front of George.  

You got an idea. An idea that wasn’t normal.  

George pulled his swim trunks off and thrown them away. Meanwhile you took place in front of George while one hand settled itself on George’s length.  

You turned your head to Pierre before saying ´´come on daddy are you gonna help me´´ you tried to put your best puppy eyes on Pierre who swallowed  hardly. His breathing hitched before coming to you to. He settled himself beside you.  

´Yeah fuck it´  Pierre mumbled before licking one long stroke up George’s dick.  

´Oh- fuck yes Pierre´ George moaned when Pierre closed his lips around his red swollen tip. You only could sit there watching this;  

George was a moaning mess while Pierre worked his mouth up and down. Spit dripping down Pierre’s mouth while his hand was working on George’s balls. 

Pierre started to hollow his cheeks out, one hand on george his shaft while his mouth was fully focused on George’s tip. George was sensitive and overstimulated. It wasn’t hard to bring him to the edge  

´Fuck Pier- daddy please, I'm so f-fucking c-close´ George moaned his body started to shake, and the moment he was gonna explode you pulled Pierre off his dick. 

George only could groan while he was trying to catch his breath. This was unbelievable. He got sucked off by Pierre, Pierre Gasly. 

´Already tired ?´ you smirked ´gonna fuck your little slut?´ you asked, Pierre his eyes shooed widen before taking place behind you. 

He made you sit in doggy style, your face facing the edge of the Jacuzzi. George was still in front of you while Pierre was behind you. Pierre’s hands were on your ass, while his knee was kicking your legs open.  

´´Put that slutty mouth to use cherrie and show him how good you are´´ Pierre spoke from behind, his hand coming down and slapping your ass cheek. Because your whole body was wet, it hurted little bit but it didn’t care . Besides, it made you moan and George took that opportunity to fill your mouth up with his dick.  

You easily closed your lips around George as you started to suck him. Your eyes fixed upwards looking upwards through your lashes. While your mouth was all over George, Pierre shoved this tip up and down your slit, circling his tip a few times over your clit.  

Muffled moans came out your mouth as George slowly started to thrust into your mouth. Pierre slowly pushed his tip inside your entrance. You moaned around George, which made him moan too because of the vibrations.  

´Don’t hurt her. If she squeezes your arm, stop´ Pierre commanded George, his dick slowly disappeared inside you.  

George his hips started to buck forward into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks out, letting his tip hit the back of your throat while he praised you. Pierre and George worked in a tandem. When George trusted in your mouth, Pierre got out.  You sucked and moaned around George while Pierre was hitting your G-spot repeatedly. You were sensitive and when Pierre brought his hand back to rub your clit, It almost felt too much.  

George saw that it was to much and immediately did something. 

´´Woah calm down angel´´  George´s hand gently tugged you of his cock, giving you a moment to breathe as he held your head in place. His other hand moving to cup your jaw gently, his thumb wiping some spit from the corner of your mouth. Waiting for you to come a little bit down. Pierre didn’t slowed down. His thrusts became harder and his dick disappeared every time he trusted inside. 

´Look at you, so quiet now huh? Go on and take my cock like the little slut you are ´´ George smiled as you got back to work. You were sucking his tip like you were dying while your other 2 hands pumped his shaft.  

The constant impact at the back off your throat had your eyes prickling with tears, threatening to ruin your mascara. At least what’s left of it. When George could feel that your jaw was growing tired, he took it over, using his hand that was already intertwined with your hair to move your head. The other one was on your jaw, trying to help you. 

´Yeah baby you better listen or daddy wont fill that pretty pussy of yours´ ´´ Do you wanna get filled baby? Because daddy is gonna fill you up if you want to´ Pierre added, Before you even could nod or say something, you already got filled. Pierre’s cum filling you perfectly up. His hand rubbed faster over your overstimulated pussy and making you almost seeing stars. 

´Come on cherrie let it go for daddy´ Pierre praised you, as body started to shake while you really tried to focus. 

´Yeah be a pretty slut like you always are and cum over daddy’s cock´ George added while moaning loudly. The sounds he was making was enough to make you forget the pain and tiredness in your jaw. Low groans, moans, and French swear words filled the air.  

You felt him twitching in your mouth while your orgasm was on the point off exploding, Your orgasm hit you hard, almost like a rock fell on you. Your body was shaking and you were a moaning mess. George came at the same time as you, filling your mouth up with his hot, sticky cum. You easily swallowed it and when George pulled you of his dick you showed him your tongue, as a reminder that you swallowed everything. 

You couldn’t even come down from your high or George was already questioning you. 

´Can i clean you?´ George spoke, his cheeks were red and his hair was messy.  

´´Uhm- yeah of course ´´ you mumbled. Not really knowing what his plan was.  

George picked you up before walking out, laying you down on the sofa before getting back on his knees. 

´What are you-´ before you could finish, you felt George’s tongue on your clit, slowly dragging it up and down your slit. Making sure to eat the dripping cum while George’s hands spread you open while he ate you out.  

´George- fu-fuck yes!´ you were again a moaning mess, because of the overstimulation your body was so sensitive. His tongue lapping perfectly on your throbbing pussy. His lips easily finding your clit while 2 fingers made their way into you.  

His fingers slowly angled upwards and settled a quick and rough pace. His lips and tongue focused on your clit. One hand was on your waist to stop you from bulking your hips up, while the other one was playing with your nipple. His fingers were perfectly hitting your g-spot.  

You could feel your orgasm approaching and before you could tell it, it was there. And you thought that you couldn’t come harder. But this time it seriously felt like you were passing out, a delicious feeling rushed through your body while your hands gripped down George´s hair.  

 

´´’you did amazing princess´´ George kissed your head and helped you to sit up.  

´´ i have no words for today..´´ George chuckled ´´ can i get you anyth-´´  

Before George could finish Pierre was there. He had his hands full with stuff and even a blade.  

´´ you look ..-´´’pierre paused while putting the blade down, his brain was searching for the right words. ´´ fucked out´´ he smiled  

´´ here, put this on´´ Pierre handed your pajamas and a bra and thong. You mumbled a quick thank you before shooting it on. Pierre was already dressed and so nice to bring clean and dry clothes for George.  

Aftercare was second on the list, and it was definitely something that was important. Besides clean clothes, Pierre also brought drinks and some snacks.  

 

´´ so is this gonna be our weekly relax moment?´´ pierre chuckled.  

 

=========================================================================== 

 This is my work, and I do not consent for it to be shared to other websites platforms or apps nor can any of my original story lines re-written or continue by others, love all your support x

Soooo should i make this a story?  

[slutouttanowhere]

Pairing: Jeff Hardy x Leona French™️

Warnings: Randy being a dickhead, use of the insult “freak”

Word count: 5k

A/N: this will be the first installment of my nostalgia WWE fics, for me that would be early 2000s Ruthless Aggression Era. I’ve always been a fan of Jeff Hardy, and growing up I never knew how bad his “demons” were until recently. Don’t worry though these fics will have none of that, I think the man has experienced enough angst in real life I don’t plan on including any of it here. This fic references Beyoncé’s Freakum Dress, any and all lyrics used belongs to said artist. Leona French is my black!oc, her character bio is linked to my pinned post. Hope you all enjoy this silly goofy one shot, leave a like and reblog, follow me ✨

Monday Night Raw 2004

It wasn’t until we were walking through the arena doors that I had second thoughts about tonight. It’s not uncommon for my cousin to talk me into things. Probably why our parents didn’t want us hanging out a lot. “Lita, are you sure about this? I mean I’m not a wrestler, what if they throw food at me?” I turned to her, we walked side by side with our arms linked, but it was more so me holding onto her so I wouldn’t tremble out of my skin. 

“Yes, trust me. All the WWE wants right now, are hot girls that can dance and put on a little show in between segments. And if someone throws something at you, it better be flowers or I’m gonna whoop their ass.” She reassured me for what felt like the fifth time in a row, the hallways were lined with WWE talent, some of them waving to Lita as we went. A few of the women’s eyes lingered on me, scrutiny settled deep in their gazes. I’m used to the heat of female competition, but this was something else. 

My first Monday Night Raw as an “employee,” I usually only showed up as a fan in the crowd when Lita could get me tickets. I’m supposed to be practicing for my audition with the ballet company, yet here I am half naked about to show my ass for the world. I can only pray my parents aren’t watching. Soon we come to a stop near the end of a deserted hall, two guys who I recognize as Lita’s boyfriend Matt, and his older brother Jeff. 

They were dressed similarly as usual, though Jeff’s clothes were more cut up than his younger brothers. His fishnet top was cut so the bottom of the shirt stopped just below his belly button, leaving his lower stomach, and v-line exposed. His arm sleeves coordinated with their all black theme, and were cut up as well. I always admired their edgy style, especially Lita. I knew she got a lot of heat for dressing the way she dressed, in combination with being a hardcore female wrestler. 

“Matt, Jeff, you’ve met my cousin Leona before haven’t you?” Lita reintroduced me to her friends, for a moment I felt stupid, because why would they care to remember who I was just because Lita and I were related. I chewed my bottom lip nervously, catching Jeff’s attention. 

He laughed sheepishly, “might have been concussed that night if I’m being honest.” He smiled playfully, he was a lot sweeter than what one might think, despite all his tattoos, and multi colored hair, from what I’ve observed. He’s diffident, and mostly to himself, not the misfit you’d think he was. The pictures in the magazines didn’t do him justice either, his eyes were greener in person, and has a much taller build. 

“Me too.” I joked, Lita, and I all chuckled, though Jeff and Matt seemed confused by this. Now it was my turn to feel embarrassed.

I stumbled over my words at first. “I used to be a cheerleader all through high school, you’re not the only high flier around her bucko.” My lips curled into a tiny grin, Lita bumped my shoulder scoffing. Matt hummed in response, he folded his arms across his chest, and a tiny smile on his lips as he listened. 

“Captain of the cheer squad, four time national champion.” Lita gloated, she looked at me proudly, hands in her hips, and chest puffed out. 

“That right? So I guess that means I’ll be seeing you hit a Swanton Bomb tonight?” Matt suggested half heartedly, a humorous expression etched across his face. 

“Four time national champion, we’ll be expecting you to jump off the titantron.” Jeff said quietly, one hand over his chin, his index finger pressed to his bottom lip, he grinned watching the look of horror on my face. I could never be half the daredevil he was, and there’s nothing in the world that would make me want to try. 

He held my gaze, and I’ll admit I felt a little shy around him, it’s not like his poster isn’t on my dorm wall or anything. I for damn sure never expected to be talking to him this long. “Hell no, I’ll leave that to the stuntmen, besides this was just a one off.” I shrugged, I tried my best to be humble despite my talent. I loved being a performer, but I didn’t like the attention, such is the life of an artist. 

“That right, Leo here actually has a brain unlike the two of you. She’s only here because she owes me a favor, and what’s a spring break without a little fun?” Lita smiled mischievously, Matt rolled his eyes at his girlfriend.

“Um I think you forgot to count yourself sweetheart, you’re pretty and…well that’s about it.” He chuckled, the two of them seemingly forgetting all about us, Lita’s hand shot out to swat Matt across the chest, but he dogged her, then ran off. Without a second thought Lita pursued him.

“Are they always like that?” I pivoted back to Jeff, who was shaking his head watching his brother act childishly. 

Slowly his eyes lifted to meet mine, his head tilted to the side, “is the sky blue?” That sweet southern twang hitting a little heavier towards the end, and I swore I could drop to my knees right then. A giggle pressed past my lips, and his next words took me by surprise as he suddenly complimented me.

“Aw man, that laugh is so adorable.” Jeff’s eyes slid over my face taking in all my features, there’s not a magazine article in the world that could have prepared me for Jeff Hardyz charisma. The way he looked directly in my eyes, into my soul, as if he looked away he’d miss something spectacular. My shoulder leaned against the cool white brick wall as I stood next to him, he was slouching a little, but our height difference was still evident. 

The corners of my lips tugged into a grin, “are you flirting with me?” I asked, perhaps a bit coy, this sudden confidence went against everything I previously knew myself to be. I typically avoided the male species at all cost, but he had such a warm, welcoming presence. His undivided attention made me feel like I could tell him anything, and that freaked me out a little. 

“You won’t be here long, mine as well make it count this time.” He shrugged, he stood with his hands in his pockets, more talent would pass us. He barely looked their way. 

“So you do remember me!” I shouted, I pushed myself off the wall unaware of just how close we were, and lightly slapped him on the chest. 

His head fell backwards, “of course, even if I landed on my skull that night I wouldn’t have forgotten this face.” He chortled causing his whole face to light up, the butterflies in the pit of my stomach swarmed violently. After I took too long responding he spoke up again. “So why exactly are you dressed like you’re going out to a nightclub?”

“Do I not look good in this dress though?” I asked, letting out an airy laugh, and pulling my fur coat open to playfully show off my outfit. Jeff shamelessly checked me out, getting an eyeful of my cleavage, all the way down my curves to my legs, and my chunky heels. 

His tongue flicked out to wet his lips, a hungry stare in his eyes, “I’m sure you look good in anything.” 

He was saying all the right things, and looking at me in a way that was making my face heat up,  my lips parted to speak, but I was cut off by Lita’s long arm hooking around the back of my neck. “They’re ready for you at guerilla, if you and Jeff are done eye fucking, I’ll walk you down.” My heart jumped at her accusation, the feeling of embarrassment settling onto my face. 

“Oh that right, Lita is actually a rodeo clown between segments.” Jeff rolled his eyes, an unimpressed expression on his face, yet again taking the heat off me. 

“Shut up Jeff.” she sneered at him, and took me by the hand dragging me away. I could still feel his eyes on me, peeking at him over my shoulder, and just as I thought he’s watching me be taken away. A tiny smile on his lips, he nods his head at me as a ‘see ya later,’ and I hoped it was a later. 

Waiting at the curtain were my backup dancers, and Stephanie McMahon. I’ve met her a number of times, she’s always sweet, and comforting. Nothing like her tv persona. “Alright, it’s a packed house, and after that match with Rocky, and Austin they’re quite rowdy.” She explained, I tried to swallow my nerves, as someone who was typically a part of the crowds I knew first hand how nasty people could get. 

“You’ve rehearsed a bunch of times, you’ve got this in the bag Leo, and then before you know it, it’ll all be over. Then you can go back to your prissy little dorm room.” Lita teased me, she pinched my cheek, but I cringed away from her. 

“First of all, that prissy dorm houses your lousy ass more times than I can count. Secondly, don't ruin my makeup, okay?” I hated being talked to like I was a child, Lita and I were only two years apart. I know she’ll always see me as a baby because of the kind of life she lives constantly on the road. 

“Yes! That is exactly the attitude you need tonight, now don’t waste it, save it for the audience.” Stephanie gripped my shoulder, and smiled at me encouragingly. 

I turned to my other dancers, “y’all ready?” They seemed more excited than I was, so I tried to mirror their enthusiasm. 

“Ladies and gentlemen, tonight we have something special for you.” Lilian Garcia addressed the crowd, they were buzzing, and when I turned to Lita, she gave me a thumbs up. 

“A one night only attraction of. Leona French, performing her rendition of Freakum Dress!” The lights dimmed down, and as soon as the music started I was handed a mic right before I stepped out. “To be, or not to be.” I sang sultrily as I sauntered out, at first the crowd didn’t know what to make of seeing me. I could visibly see some men were quite annoyed, instead of focusing on the crowd I looked right into the camera in front of me. When we got closer to the ring I shed my fur coat, and suddenly the noise began to pick up. I couldn’t help the grin that slid onto my face, I twirled my hips, and popped my ass to the bass of the music. I’ve practiced the routine so many times I could do it in my sleep. “Oh put your freakum dress on, every woman got one.” My body moved fluidly through the steps, I let myself get lost in the music, and soon I felt like I was actually having fun. 

Improvising a little, I climbed out of the ring, and danced over to the barricade where a young man around my age was gawking. I made my way back to the steel steps putting one foot up, and pooped my booty back. Considering they weren’t throwing food at me, I took that as a compliment, but by the end of the performance everyone was on their feet cheering, and wolf whistling. We bowed, blew a few kisses, but then made our way to the back. 

Lita wasn’t there when I came back through the curtain, but I think she told me she might have had some segments tonight. I would probably run into her later, “that crowd was jumpin!” Maddison, one of the dancers laughed, she chugged some water. 

“It sure was, you girls were great! Leona your energy was incomparable, and just so natural. Good job tonight.” Stephanie placed a gentle hand on my shoulder, her kind words making me proud of myself. 

“Thanks boss lady, we’re gonna go shower and change.” I thanked her, shaking her hand, and we all made our way through the arena. I was so busy blabbing to the girls that I didn’t even notice Undertaker when I ran into him. My eyes widened, I’ve only ever seen him from a distance, which he was big then, but up close he’s huge. The girls and I collectively quieted down upon seeing him, “I’m so sorry…Mr. Taker.” I said like a doofus, his eyes shined humorously, but that’s all he offered us. 

“Just Taker is fine, you’re Lita's cousin aren’t you? That was a hell of a performance y’all had.” And this is where I realized I might have a thing for gothic southern men. Or maybe I was just a sucker for the accent. I recall a number of stories about Taker being the best person to ask advice, literally everyone would ask him his opinion. 

“Wow, thanks, I’m a huge fan by the way, um any pointers?” Why not ask the most successful man in the entertainment business his thoughts on my performance. The girls looked at me like I had three heads, it’s what I expected none of them watched wrestling. 

“We’re gonna go shower, we’ll catch up later.” Lisa patted me on the shoulder, I nodded, and let them excuse themselves. If anyone was ‘prissy’ as Lita put it, it’s definitely them. Never struggled a day in their lives, spoon fed country club for their entire lives. Only sports they knew were golf, and all American football. That was an excitable level of violence for them, however, I usually craved something a little more aggressive. 

He pondered for a moment, “well…it looked like you were having fun, and that’s when you really started to connect with the crowd. That’s important, it’s not just you, and them. You’re in on it together.” He explained, his voice deep, but his tone ominous. A backstage official informed him that he was needed, Taker nodded his head, and turned back to me. “A lot of people are gonna try and groom you, make you out to be what they want. Especially because you’re a girl, and seemingly have a lot of talent that could make people a lot of money. Nothing is more important in show business than to do things by your own volition, and stand on it.” That may have been the wisest bit of information I’ve ever received, he held his hand out for me to shake. Without hesitation I took it, grateful for this moment, and to think I was gonna pass up the offer. He shook my hand surprisingly gently, then went on about his business. I watched him for as long as my eyes could see. I felt light, like I was no longer a part of this physical plane. I looked down at my hand in disbelief of what just happened, my whole body still buzzing. 

I just performed for thousands of people, and then The Undertaker just dropped a wealth of knowledge on me. I’m just a girl, I’m just some kid, how did I get so lucky? “Are you gonna keep standing in the middle of the hall like an idiot?” I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound of an arrogant voice, slowly I turned to be met with the last person I wanted to run into tonight. Randy Orton, Bautista by his side, the only one of the two who had some etiquette. 

Bautista lips form a tiny smile, he had a familiarity to him, as if we’ve been knowing each other for a while. “Hey, I remember you, you’re Lita’s big brain cousin, what college was it you went to?” I could feel my face heat up, it was sweet of him to remember something so small. 

“I don’t know about big brains, but I’m attending Tisch School of Arts in New York.” I said shyly, I tried not to make my accomplishments a big deal; I guess it couldn’t be helped when Lita is blabbing about me to everyone she sees. 

“So an art school.” Randy didn’t sound too impressed, far be it for him to care about anything other than himself. I might have actually found him attractive if he wasn’t such a dickhead. 

“Hang on there Randy, Tisch is no run of the mill dance school, their acceptance rate is pretty low from what I understand. I had some family that tried to get in a few years ago, they had to audition 3 times.” Bautista explained coming to my defense, while simultaneously shutting down his partner's rudeness. He did it in such a calm manner, I bet he’s great with kids. 

Randy eyed me, when he lingered too long on my chest I rolled my eyes, and side stepped him. He’s exactly like the pricks that frequented the country clubs back home, the only way to deal with them was to ignore them. “Anywho, it was nice meeting you, I’m a big fan, Bautista.” He held his hand to his heart, touched by me saying this. 

“You’re a wrestling fan?” Randy questioned, he looked gobsmacked by this revelation, I grimaced turning to him. 

“Yeah…” I said lifting my eyebrow daring him to challenge me, but he scoffed. Folding his arms over his chest, a smug expression on his face, I regret even running into him.

“I mean, of course you are, who wouldn’t wanna watch me on a weekly basis.” The haughtiness in his tone made me want to throw up, I couldn’t even disagree which was the worst part. He’s so good at what he does it upsets me, if only all that talent came with a muzzle. 

“You literally have zero shame don’t you?” Jeff came up from behind me, his face paint dripping off him, no doubt  from a match may have just had. An unimpressed look on his face, his arm slipped around the back of me, and held onto me almost protectively. I could feel my face heat up from his touch, I wasn’t going to deny him. 

“Meanwhile you’re dressed like some freak.” Randy spat venomously, I was taken aback by his sudden mood change, Jeff’s expression darkened, but didn’t have a verbal response. He took a step forward, Randy mirroring his movements. There’s no love loss between the legacy kid, and mister daredevil. Jeff seemed to get the best of Randy in matches most of the time by out sitting him, and stealing the wins. Which is really more so Randy’s fault by letting his emotions get the best of him. 

Bautista pressed his hand to Randy’s chest. A warning glare in his eyes. “Cool it man, you can’t afford to get into another fight this week.” He mumbled, but Randy wasn’t hearing it. The grip Jeff had on tightening, his nails digging into me as if to hold himself back. 

“Trying to show off around your little poptart, wanna be, girlfriend aren’t you? Please do Jeff, I beg you.” Randy pressed his palms together, goading Jeff into a fight, I looked to Jeff who was clearly thinking about it. He’d do it even if  only to make a point, but before I could get a chance to interject he reared back his fist. Popping Randy right in the nose. My mouth dropped, and my eyes widened. 

“Fuck we gotta go.” I grasped him by the wrist, and tugged him in the opposite direction. We ran until we couldn't hear Randy shouting, and bitching anymore. We rounded the corner, finally coming to a stop. We caught our breath, “you’re gonna be in so much shit.” I sighed once my breathing calmed, I slapped him across the chest. He barely flinched. 

“What, you just wanted me to let him talk about you like that?” He seemed offended by my disappointment, his hand ran through his blue-violet colored hair. 

“Randy is an idiot, being called a poptart isn't the worst thing, I mean he said you were a freak.” My lips pressed together, I could feel myself getting upset all over again, there was never a reason to be so fucking mean. 

Jeff shrugged his shoulders, “yea so? If I had a dime for everytime someone judged the way I dressed, how I talk, or the clothes I wore, well I’d be a fat rich man. But you don't talk about girls that way man, what did you do to deserve that attitude anyway?” Yet again we were standing close to each other, I chewed my bottom lip trying not to say anything stupid, my eyes lowered to the floor. I couldn't understand why he would get himself into drama over something so stupid. 

“Did ya see the look on Randy’s face though, I think I broke his nose.” He grinned, I couldn't help but laugh when I replayed the scene in my head, even Bautista was shocked. 

I shook my head, “by the time he gets done bitching at Stephanie about it, you’re gonna get into so much trouble.” I reached for the bandanna hanging out of his pocket, and began to clean off the face paint. The sweat dripping down his forehead made it easier to swipe away, with my other hand I held him by the chin, he took a step back putting his back to the wall causing me to step forward. I tried to avoid his eyes, acutely aware he was staring me right in mine. 

“It’ll be worth it.” He hummed, his hand reached out to play with my hair, gently sweeping it over my shoulder. His fingers caressing my skin on the way down, then finally rested on my hips. Once I was satisfied with the majority of the paint being gone, I sighed, and wrapped my arms around his neck. 

My eyes dropped to his lips, his tongue flicked out swiping his bottom lip, ‘this is a bad idea right?’ I thought to myself, ‘oh well, what’s spring break without a little fun?’ As if reading my mind, Jeff leaned in meeting me halfway in a deeply passionate kiss. His hands slid up my back holding me closer to his body, I couldn't help but let out a moan as his hands slid down to my ass, and gripped me. I don't know how long we stood there locking lips, but by the time either of us pulled away I was out of breath. My lips were swollen,  my heart was hammering against my rib cage, and my head felt a bit light headed. “So what now?” I pressed my forehead to his, I knew it was getting late, and I was gonna be no good tomorrow if I was too exhausted. 

“Got any time left to get something to eat? I know a diner that’s open late around here.” He offered. A hopeful look in his eyes. I peaked at him from underneath my lashes, my fingers playing with his choker necklace. Voices could be heard in the distance, it sounded like a few of the guys, but neither of us worried about it. 

“Sure, I got some time to spare, as a super fan I'd be honored to have dinner with Jeff Hardy.” I teased, he wrapped an arm lazily around my shoulder, some female talent we passed gave me a nasty look. Trish Stratus specifically did not like what she was seeing, our eyes watched each other as we passed by. I knew that her and Jeff were “involved,” but the extent of that? I was unsure about, however if this was her man she would have said something right?

Jeff, oblivious to this as he was talking, he snorted, “you’re a fan huh? Does this make you my groupie?” He asked jokingly, we were finally approaching my dressing room, Lita was further down the hall talking to Edge, and Christian. They were all laughing obnoxiously about something, but I turned my attention back to Jeff. 

“Oh definitely, I’m gonna write about it in my diary later.” I chortled, one hand on the doorknob, and the pinky of my other hand linked with his pinky. Neither of us wanted to let go, but we both needed a fresh change of clothes. 

“Well, I’m flattered…” He trailed off for a second, then said,  “I wish I could just wait for you here, but I need a fresh outfit so I’ll meet you back here?” 

“You’ll definitely be done before me, so you might end up waiting anyway.” I smiled sheepishly, my face heating up in embarrassment, I felt bad for making him wait after the long night he’s had, so I decided just then that I’d cut down time on my makeup at the very least. 

He made no fuss about it. “That’s fine, see ya in a little bit.” He let go of my pinky, then made his way back the opposite direction, and turned down a hall disappearing. It wasn't till I was behind the privacy of my dressing room door did I let out a long, heavy sigh, the other girls were nowhere to be found, so I revealed in the alone time. 

I didn't fight the dopey smile that grew across my face, “I kissed Jeff Hardy?” After I picked myself up off the floor, I locked the door behind me, and stripped down before getting into a hot shower. Getting dressed tonight has been the easiest task of my life since I was smart enough to pack only one other outfit. Had I been back at home I would have ended up overwhelming myself trying to decide what to wear. I pulled on my coat, then grabbed my duffel bag, and purse, throwing it over my shoulder. When I opened the door, Jeff was waiting outside like he said he would, his eyes taking me in, from my heels making sure to slow up at my legs, and thighs. Then finally landing on my face. 

“Hey…” He greeted me, his eyes sliding over my body, and slowing up at my chest before he got to my face. When our eyes met our smiles mirrored the others, he took me by the hand and walked us out of the arena to the parking lot. The night was mostly over, so there weren't many people left. My phone buzzed in my purse, I fished it out to see who texted me. I clicked on my messages to see I had been left a few, but Lita stood out to me. 

Lita: I nu u were w Jeff the whole time. ;) 

Lita: dont do anything I wdnt do

I rolled my eyes, I don't know if I  should be thanking her, or annoyed that she set me up, I scoffed, “freakin Lita.” 

“Everything okay?” Jeff asked, opening the passenger side door for me, the fall time air blowing my hair around, I peered up at him nodding my head. He watched me with a weary look in his eyes, I enveloped his face in my hands, and pressed my lips to his. He relaxed into me, “I think I’m gonna get in the car now.” He grinned like an idiot, and walked around the other side of the car. The drive wasn't long, but Jeff requested that I talked about myself, so I did. Not once did he interject, and by the time we made it to the restaurant, I felt like I had told him my whole life story. 

“I watched that little show of your’s by the way, you’ve got a lot more talent than you let on.” I was taken aback by this sudden compliment. We sipped on our pop while we waited for our food, and as I sat across from him, he seemed like the most normal guy in the world. “I could have watched that on a loop.” He said softly, his longing gaze making me shift in my seat. 

My eyes dropped down to his hands, I just now realized some of his dark painted nails had designs on them, “do you paint your own nails too?” I asked curiously, it’s something I’ve always wondered, but never had the chance to ask till now. 

“Most of the time, other time’s it’s Lita when we have some time off.” He explained, the image of them sitting together like two siblings painting each other's nails made me smile a little. Yeah that seemed about right.

“Don't tell me they didn't include that information in Tiger Beat.” He deadpanned, obviously no love loss for the magazine company, I cringed at the name, I hated them too.

I shrugged, “I wouldn't know, I’m more of a Teen Vogue girl.” I joked, that’s how the rest of our night went, we talked about anything that came to mind: wrestling, food, fashion trends, travel. Anything to keep the conversation going, Eventually it turned 1 am, I needed to get some sort of sleep before catching up with Lita tomorrow. She wanted to drag me around the mall before they headed to the next town. We sat in front of the hotel, I turned to him, I knew I could have invited him up. The look in his eyes told me all I had to do was offer, but he wasn't going to force it. Knowing I had a whole week to be promiscuous, I decided to prioritize sleep this time, slowly I leaned in, and he met me halfway. A kiss that started off sweet turned into something heated, and needy. We moaned into each other simultaneously, I pulled away first, Jeff was frozen in place. His eyes still closed. “I’m getting out of the car now doofus.” I giggled, then opened the car door. 

He suddenly came back to life, “oh, let me get your bag.” He reached in the back grabbing my duffle bag, and brought it around to my side of the car. I stood patiently waiting for him, my lips still tingling where he kissed me, I took the bag from him, and kissed him on the cheek. 

“See ya later.”I walked backwards in the direction of the hotel, we held onto each other's hands till we couldn't anymore. That night after I got ready for bed, as soon as my head hit the pillows I passed out. That night I dreamed about having a tag match with Lita and Matt, versus Jeff and I, and it was a banger. That might be long into the future, but as far as tonight I had the best time of my life.

[surr3al1sm]

Just Dance Highscores I’m proud of

I don’t really talk about playing Just Dance on here because I play it a lot and don’t want to bother you guys with it every time but I just wanted to highlight some of the scores I’m proud of. All will be below the cut to not clog up your dash.

Disclaimer: Now I know that they probably aren’t the highest scores (or the hardest maps) you’ve ever seen BUT I still get to be proud of them (plus I have a coordination disorder so take that).

With that being said feel free to reblog and flex your scores on me. I wish to know them.

List time! Yippie!

🩷 The mega stars (aka the dances I dance to way too much) 🩷

⚡️Girlfriend - 13078 - The first song I 13k’d and still one of my favourite maps

⚡️Treasure - 12904 - I used to be really bad at Treasure compared to LooH, but they kind of flipped one day lol

While we’re on the topic

⚡️Locked out of Heaven - 12681 - The first map I actually took the time to learn the choreo for. Just need to figure out the tracking ig-

⚡️10.000 Luchtballonnen - 12810 - A dutch (Belgian technically) song. Probably the best K3 song on + and maybe even on unlimited.

⚡️Judas - 12699 - Come on, it’s Judas. Can you blame me for being proud.

⚡️Rasputin - 12699 - This is just what my (lack of) rizz has come to. Also may I refer back to the coordination disorder.

⚡️Levitating - 12566 - Si’Ha Nova my beloved 🫶

⚡️Can’t Tame Her - 12536 - LittleSiha, need I say more

⚡️Beggin’ - 12498 - I started out with consistently 3 starring this song and here we are now. Improvements people.

⚡️Disco Inferno - 12275 - I don’t care that its an easy difficulty: I have played this song exactly once. Let me be proud of my beginners luck.

🩵 The super stars (aka maps I am learning or am just mid at) 🩵

⚡️Therefore I Am - 11832 - This map takes a lot of coordination and balance that I do not have.

⚡️Physical - 11733 - As someone who was not active what so ever at the beginning of the year, being this decent at a map like this one is just pretty rewarding

⚡️Canned Heat - 11728 - It’s a Wanderlust song what can I say, we don’t mix well-

⚡️Dark Horse - 11344 - My friend had JD2015 growing up and the most I could get was 4 stars max when I used to play with her so this just heals my inner child.

⚡️Applause/Stage Version - 11307 - It’s an extreme. I am no where near properly touching extremes (like actually consistently doing them). Let me be proud.

⚡️Wannabe/Extreme Version - 11459 - Scored this while dancing against my Kpop friend. She knows the official choreo by heart.

⭐️ The 5 Stars (Songs I do every now and then and choreo’s I live laugh love without being good at them) ⭐️

⚡️Rock ‘n Roll - 10877 - I don’t know if it’s just me or if the tracking on this is just wierd but it’s the highest score I’ve gotten so far so I’m just gonna roll with it lol

⚡️Buttons - 10672 - This map is just difficult for me- idk why-

⚡️Bad Romance/official Choreo - 10521 - Slowly trying my best to learn this one. It’s hard.

⚡️Gimme More - 10421 - Agend D is probably one of my favourite coaches in the game but ngl this is one of the harder mediums imo.

⚡️Can’t Stop The Feeling/Danceverses Prince - 10051 - That I have beef with the smurfs choreo’s doesnt mean I can’t enjoy them and be proud of my scores. He’s just very fast okay-

Sorry for the long post again. It’s just a post I wanted to make for myself. Could I just have noted them down for myself? I already have. Sometimes you just wanna share stuff with the world okay? Before anyone says it 🤫 I know these aren’t the hardest maps out there. That doesn’t matter.

Again, feel free to reblog and flex your own scores. I love seeing people be proud of themselves for accomplishments!

[minorisato]

if that's the case, won't you dance with me?

transformers / dratchet / wc: 2756 / warnings: NSFT / notes: wrote this forever ago, saw it in my docs, decided to touch it up and post it. takes place during mtmte. / consider commissioning me!

It’s not that Drift was unaware of Ratchet’s… reputation. Either reputation, actually, though he long understood that The Hatchet was a projection of his rather awful berthside manner. No, Drift had long disregarded that one. Ratchet’s other reputation, however, Drift had no way to prove or disprove. Just a longstanding series of rumours and a joke or two from Ratchet himself about “back in the day.”

But surely some jokes, a partier did not make. It was rude to assume anything about anyone’s past proclivities based on rumours and jokes, including Ratchet. Drift wouldn’t stoop to such a level.

When videos started surfacing, that was when Drift started thinking there might be something to those little “party ambulance” rumours. And by “when videos started surfacing” he means “when he found the videos while looking for fap material.”

Primus. Is he a bad person for this? Ratchet looks young in the videos– his frame is the same as it was all those years ago, when he– when he. Of course Drift would recognize him. These had to be taken not all too long before that. Meaning– meaning university.

Ratchet either doesn’t notice or doesn’t care that he’s being filmed. Honestly, the video quality is actually quite poor, clearly taken in the heat of the moment. It’s a shot of Ratchet from behind, bouncing up and down, up and down on the nameless mech’s spike. He’s panting and whining and moaning, yes yes yes, don’t stop, feels so good, like he’s in heat. The nameless mech doesn’t say a word, but he does grope Ratchet’s aft. Drift scoffs. Classless. As if he wouldn’t also do that.

With how out-of-the-picture the nameless mech is, it’s so easy for Drift to imagine that he’s the one laying back, that it’s Ratchet bouncing up and down on his spike, moaning for him–

Drift, Drift–

“Drift! Drift, come in!” 

Drift jumps, immediately shutting off the video and retracting his spike and resetting his vocals and he really wasn’t doing anything he promises, before finally answering his comm. “Drift speaking. Is there a situation?”

“Drift, you need to go to the medbay like, now,” Rodimus tells him, sighing into the comm. “Ratchet keeps calling me and saying he’s been pinging you? He’s gonna have a fucking fit if you miss your physical again. And TBH,” did he just say TBH out loud, “I’m gonna be pissed too. You have like, ten minutes to get to medbay before I go to your hab and drag you there myself.” 

Drift groans. Right. Right, ‘cause that was today. “I’m going, I’m going. Drift out.”

~~~~

“There you are!” Ratchet shouts, the minute Drift enters. “Y’know, I was anticipating actually having a good day today, when even Rodimus showed up on time. But nope, can’t ever keep a schedule straight.”

Drift’s finials droop a bit. “Sorry, Ratch.”

The medic huffs. “Yeah, yeah. Get on the berth, I do have other patients today.” He grumbles. “Not for a bit, but I do.”

Drift does as he’s told, and takes a glance around the medbay as he climbs up. “Where’s Aid and Ambulon?”

Ratchet sets out his tools, taking his seat next to the berth. “Said they were goin’ on break. Probably at Swerve’s.” He shrugs. “It’s a slow day, basically just you lot–” Lost Light command, he means– “and a few other mechs.”

“Makes sense,” Drift nods, and then steels himself and prepares his facade of being extremely normal after just jacking off to the mech about to do medical work on him.

Primus. He can’t do this.

“Your plating’s quite warm,” Ratchet huffs. “Normally if it’s this warm, your cooling fans should have clicked on. Have you noticed any trouble with them coming on, recently?” Ratchet asks, activating the manual retraction of Drift’s paneling, revealing his medical ports.

Drift squirms a bit, and Ratchet puts a servo on his torso, to keep him still. Drift forces his cooling fans to not activate. “No, uh. No trouble with those recently.”

Ratchet hums, reaching for a two-ended cable. “See, I know Rodimus tends to run hotter than usual, but I don’t have that recorded for you. Seems best to plug in and check your internal temperature, just in case.”

“No!” Drift shouts, sitting upright very slightly. Ratchet backs up at the movement, yanking his hand back from Drift’s torso. “No, it’s seriously nothing to be worried about. You don’t need to plug in.”

Ratchet squints. “Drift, you’re not normally so up-in-arms about me plugging in. You realize how suspicious this looks, right.”

Drift does. “Ratchet, please trust me, it’s nothing. You don’t need to plug in.”

Ratchet raises an optical ridge. “Mhm. I’m sure. Drift, I’m a doctor. If you’re overheating, I need to make sure you aren’t gonna melt your own circuits.”

“Ratch, you really don’t–”

“Hush up.” And then Ratchet is plugging one end of the two-way cable into Drift’s medical port, and another end of it into his own. Drift sees no point, then, at hiding the mortification he’s experiencing, because Ratchet is going to feel it anyway. In fact, Ratchet does feel it, and he scoffs. “Drift, you really don’t need to be so worried. It’s standard practice for a physical.”

Drift keeps quiet, raising his servos to cover his face, which Ratchet thankfully does not scold him for. Ratchet runs through him, pulls up his diagnostics, and hums. “You are running much hotter. Drift, I need you to be honest with me here, do you know why your temperature is so hiked?”

Drift exvents, and lowers his hands from his faceplates. He can do this. He can do this! Ratchet is a doctor, and really he doesn’t need to go into detail. It’ll be fine. Ratchet, I was jacking off. Probably shouldn’t say it like that, that’s very unprofessional. Ratchet, I was masturbating. Is that too straightforward? Ratchet, I was getting off. Is that fine?

“Drift?”

Oh Primus he’s taking too long.

“Ratchet,” he sighs, “I was… doing things. Before this.” Oh. Oh Primus no, that’s not how he was supposed to say it. Why did he say it like that?

Ratchet raises an optical ridge. “Yeah? Doing things?”

Drift nods. He’s experiencing a whole new level of mortification which Ratchet can definitely feel through him.

“Drift,” Ratchet questions, “I know you’re not on drugs. I know you aren’t. If you were I would have noticed immediately. Just tell me what you were doing.”

Oh, he can’t do this. “Ratchet I was– I was getting off.” That’s fine. That’s fine! That’s not even more mortifying. That’s fine. It’s over.

“Oh,” Ratchet lets out, “I– I see. Yes, that would raise your temperature. That makes sense.” Ratchet huffs. “You probably also cut off your cooling fans on purpose, then. You oughta let them go, staying too hot for too long can end up damaging your circuits and interior plating.”

Drift nods, and then does as he’s told. The sound of cooling fans permeates the overall quiet of the medbay. “I’m– I’m very sorry.”

“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” Ratchet tells him, though doesn’t he himself look a little… off-kilter? Doesn’t he also look a little pink in the faceplates? “Y’know, I’ve seen a lot of mechs injure themselves that way, so really just hearing that you’re getting up to it in the privacy of your own hab isn’t anything to be worried over. In fact, you oughta keep it in your hab.” He pulls out a small tool, one to get in-between his transformation seams, and notably does not unplug himself from Drift. “My point is that you’re fine.”

“Of course,” Drift nods. “You– you’ve seen a lot, I’m sure.” He’s just trying to make conversation, trying to distract from literally everything that’s going on right now.

Ratchet smirks. “Yeah, I’ve seen quite a thing or two in my day. You ever seen a mech slice their own spike off?” Drift’s optics widen, and he shakes his head. “Ha! Yeah, pray you don’t end up doing that to yourself, swordsmech.” He smiles. “Oh, Primus. One time, back in university–”

Drift’s fans kick up, then, against his own will. They do so to such an extent that it actually cuts Ratchet off, and the medic notices, and Drift tries to force them back down as fast as he can, but it’s too late, the damage is done.

“Drift,” Ratchet starts, only for Drift to cut him off.

“Please don’t mention them.”

“Drift,” Ratchet continues anyway, “your fans…”

“Please don’t mention them.”

“When you said you were– were getting off,” he continues, leaning back, and resets his vocals, coughing into his fist. “I know there are videos out there, Drift.” He says, quieter than anything else he’s said. “I’m not– I’m not accusing you of anything, it just. Would explain, y’know, why you’ve been so hesitant.”

Drift squirms. “Yeah.”

Ratchet’s optics widen. “Yeah?”

“I– I found some. On the net. I’m sorry, Ratchet.”

The medic’s optics fall half-lidded, and he lets out an exvent. “No, you don’t need to apologize. They’re out there, I don’t mind, and if you do anything with them that’s your own business. I suppose I just– wanted to know.”

Drift, then, raises an optical ridge of his own. “Why did you want to know?”

Ratchet scoffs, looking away. “No reason.”

“Are you embarrassed about it?” Drift asks, and sits up fully. “I can mention it to Magnus, we can have them taken down. I know you said you don’t mind that they’re up, but if it bothers you, we can have them taken down.”

“It’s not that,” Ratchet admits after a moment, turning back to look at Drift. “I’m serious, I don’t mind them. I was just curious.”

“But why?”

“Drift…”

“Please?” Drift asks, “I know– it’s not really my business, I know. But if you need to talk about it you can tell me. I’m not going to, to lose respect for you, or anything like that.” And then, quietly, despite wanting to smack himself in the head about it, “I don’t think I could ever lose respect for you.” Not after what you did for me.

Ratchet’s optics glance around, and he lets out an exvent, shoulders slumping. “Drift, do you think I’m attractive?”

What? “What?”

“Nothing! Nothing nevermind forget about it.”

“No, no,” Drift asks, swinging his legs down, hanging off the berth, so he can look at Ratchet directly. “No, what do you mean? I told you I was getting off to–” to a video of you from university. “–That.”

“Yes, but,” Ratchet asks, and he sounds so flustered, and Drift can feel it, they’re still plugged in together, he can feel that embarrassment. “I mean me, now. Do you think I’m attractive.”

“Yes?” Drift admits, before even thinking about it.

Ratchet’s faceplates become a brighter pink. There’s no doubt about it now, he’s blushing. “Oh.”

“I’m sorry.”

“NO,” Ratchet shouts. “No, I mean. It’s. Thank you. I’m– I’m happy about that.”

“You’re happy about it?” Drift asks, and Ratchet looks down, nodding. “You’re happy that I think you’re attractive.” Another nod. “Am I attractive?”

“Drift–”

“You asked me, now I’m asking you,” the swordsmech figures.

It takes Ratchet a moment, but eventually, “Yes, Drift, you’re very attractive.” 

Drift is normal about that.

“WHY did your temperature hike so bad when I said that.” Ratchet moves to cover his faceplates, now, pink covering his cheeks. “Why did that affect you so badly.”

“Sorry, Ratch,” Drift smiles, and he’s almost laughing. He feels lightheaded. “Can’t help it. You have that effect on me.”

“Be professional,” Ratchet hisses, and Drift actually does laugh, then.

“You’re saying that now?” He smiles, and leans back on the berth. “C’mon, doc, you have other patients today, better finish me off. Up. Finish me up.”

“I will finish you off,” Ratchet scoffs, and then there’s another manual override, and– oh, hello, that is Drift’s spike. Huh. Haven’t seen you since five pages ago.

“Ratchet?” Drift asks, sitting upright again, because hello? Hello?

“I told you that having your temperature hiked for too long can do damage,” Ratchet huffs, moving to lean over Drift. “The way I see it, there is a very simple solution to you being so overheated. Right?”

Drift is reeling. “Are you going to suck my spike?”

“Do you want me to?” Ratchet asks, a servo resting on Drift’s thigh.

Drift’s engine revs, which he wasn’t trying to do, but Ratchet shudders in a way that tells him that he liked that sound. “Yeah, fuck yeah, I would like that.” He moves a servo to rest on Ratchet’s helm– not pressing, just resting it there, gently.

Ratchet exvents, and very gently laps at the tip of it, and Drift, unable to help himself, bucks his hips forward. Ratchet chuckles, one servo wrapping around the base, and takes the head into his mouth. Drift lets out a groan, grip on Ratchet’s helm tightening slightly, as the medic bobs up and down, taking more and more of it into his mouth with each. Ratchet hums around it, the sensation causing Drift to groan once again, rolling his hips up into it gently, not wanting to hurt the medic.

Ratchet raises his head off momentarily, putting his servo to work, rubbing up and down. This is going to give Drift fantasy fuel for eons. “You seem to like it,” Ratchet chuckles, and Drift nods, biting his own servo to keep quiet. “Want me to keep going?”

Drift nods. “Ratch, I’m– I’m already not gonna last long.” And he’s not– this has all been, in essence, foreplay to him. He edged himself, ran here, and got teased, and now he’s getting a blowjob about it.

“You’re doing such a good job,” Ratchet tells him, and then sinks down again, running his glossa along the underside as he does. Drift whines, and again bucks his hips involuntarily. He’s about to choke out an apology when Ratchet looks up at him, really looks at him, and when he raises up, he does not sink back down. Just staying there, intake rested at the tip of the swordsmech’s spike.

“Ratch,” Drift starts, “do you want me to–”

Ratchet nods (as much as he can while his mouth is full of spike.) Drift resets his vocals, and grips Ratchet’s helm tighter. “You asked for it,” he huffs, and bucks his hips upwards, into the medic’s mouth. And then he does it again. And again.

He’s facefucking Ratchet. The medic’s throat cabling opens up with no trouble, taking everything Drift has to give him, and Ratchet doesn’t even flinch when Drift’s spike housing meets his intake, he doesn’t flinch as Drift abuses that wet heat. He’s facefucking Ratchet.

He’s gonna overload.

“Ratchet,” He gasps, “Ratchet, Ratchet, fuck–” he moans, whines, and speeds up his thrusting, bucking into Ratchet’s intake with everything he has, like this is the only time he’ll get to do it. He hopes it’s not. He hopes he’ll get to do it again, and again, and again. His charge is funneling back and forth, from him, to Ratchet, back to him.

He’s gonna overload.

He yanks Ratchet off of him, holding his helm tightly, keeping the medic– the medic, with a string of fluid hanging from his intake– positioned just above his spike, as he wraps a servo around it, tugging on it. On every downstroke, his hand meets Ratchet’s, the medic’s servo holding him at his base. “Ratchet,” he sighs, “Ratchet–”

“So good,” the medic tells him, his vocals straining, underlined with static. “So sweet, Drift–”

And then he’s overloading, he’s overloading, onto Ratchet’s face–

He’s almost knocked offline from the strength of it. He never thought he’d end up here. He never thought he’d get to do this. He feels like he’s in heaven, like he’s on cloud nine. He crashes down when his optics stop glitching and oh Primus he just overloaded onto Ratchet’s face. 

“Oh, fuck,” Drift exvents, “I’m– I’m so sorry, I didn’t, uh–”

“Hey,” Ratchet tells him. “You’re good. You’re alright.” He moves a servo to wipe some of the transfluid away from his optics, and then, in a moment which leaves Drift’s engine stalling, he licks the transfluid off of his servo.

“Ratchet–”

“Do you wanna go to Swerve’s?” Ratchet asks, continuing to do so. “After my shift, I mean. We should meet up after this.”

Drift resets his vocals. His fans, after joors of strain, are finally starting to calm down. “Yeah,” he exvents, “yeah, I would like that.”

[absolutebl]

This Week In BL

April 2023 Wk 1

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Bed Friend (Sat YT, GaGa & iQIYI uncut) ep 8 of 10 - actually this installment was better than I expected after the dreaded extension decision. I am still enjoying this one a lot, but I think it’s slipped out of 10/10 contention. Sad. I thought I high heat was finally gonna break into top 10. 

Future (Thai Sun YouTube & Gaga) ep 3 of 5 - More of pretty much exactly the same and exactly the same clingy cuteness. This is a great but sublimely dumb show. It is beyond sappy. Also EVERYONE is queer. EVERYONE. I don’t like the premise that you have to leave your friends when you get into a relationship, but it does happen. I guess Fuse has to find Tee a bf? Also, babies first fight. 

Pastsenger (Thai Weds Gaga) 5 of 12 eps - Boring. But cohabitation and lots of other tropes like feeding, head in lap, hair wash, helmet buckle. Kiew is SUCH a boyfriend. Also a brief lap sit (bet @heretherebedork​ is happy). Plus unnecessary side dishes. 

A Boss and a Babe (Fri YouTube) ep 6 of 12 - ForceBook are performing their characters well and consistently, but the narrative is fighting them and contradicting them all the time. We’re told boss yells at babe but never see it, then boss says he’s never mean even though everyone says he is mean (be we never see it). It’s crazy-making. They are cute bfs who make me smile because they are ForceBook and for no other reason. GMMTV should be thoroughly ashamed of misusing these two a 2ND TIME. Especially as this is one of their few pairs willing to do higher heat. You can’t hear it but this it MY ANNOYED TYPING VOICE.  

Tin Tam Jai (Tues Gaga & iQIYI) ep 7 of 12 - I just like the side seme. Sorry main couple, you are not in my heart. P’Doc Park just seems uninterested, don’t force it nong Tin just go with P’Plearn who is all up in your business and defining EAGER. 

Chains of Heart (Sat iQIYI) ep 8 of 10 - It always takes me forever to get around to this one (even when I’m not on site), honestly if it weren’t nearing the end I probably would just drop it from sheer frustration. How can a show that’s meant to be suspenseful be this dull? I guess Din’s secret identity was the twist reveal? Not much of one. What about his son? I am so confused by this show and so do not care. What a disappointment. 

The Promise (Thai Weds YT) ep 6 of 10 - ON HIATUS UNTIL APRIL 19.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Our Dining Table AKA Bokura no Shokutaku (Japan Thurs Gaga) 1 of 10 - OH MY GOD IT’S SO CUTE. It is pretty much exactly like the manga and I am all over fine with that. Expect this BL to be soft af, gentle, sweet and another cozy BL to add to our new roster (post forthcoming I promise). Also don’t expect a kiss. Honestly, I don’t care, I love this yaoi so much and I am delighted to see it on my screen and so well cast. It’s disgustingly charming. 

Unintentional Love Story (Korea Thurs iQIYI) 7-8 of 10 - (here’s how I’m getting it) Oh they’re so cute and ridiculous confessing and hiding out. Also the sides are EVERYTHING. This is actually turning into a pretty decent BL. I like that the bfs tease and play together it’s sweet. This is a very huggy couple for Korea. And then DOOM. Betrayal. Argh! Pain.  Nooooooo. Long eps and lip wobbles galore. We all SUFFER until next week. 

The Eighth Sense (Korea Weds Viki) eps 3-4 of 10 - I actually re-watched the first 2 eps bf I watched this week’s installments. We know Jae Won is popular, rich, sunshine who wants to be loved but estranged from his fam. Ji Hyun is a shy, serious, polite country boy deep in first crush. Despite this dichotomy it’s JH who seems more comfortable in himself and, possibly, his sexual preferences. There’s a homoeroticism to this show that is not normal for BL (I know... but it isn’t, certainly not KBL). Reminds me a bit of ITSAY + Shelter + His the series. The director is doing some very interesting things that makes the watching experience chewy. Note the actors have been told to match strides whenever they walk together? So far as the narrative goes timing on the kiss (good kiss tho it may be) indicates that the plot will be fall out from kissing (tragedy), not build up to a romantic relationship. (Timing is a bitch.) Also… this is what we call being “dicked around by a closet case.” Baby’s first love is NOT going to go well. On the bright side, baby got himself his first fag hag to comfort him after the inevitable heartbreak. Honestly? I’m finding this rough going because it’s SO TENSE but I can’t stop watching. And clearly I have a lot to say about this show. 

It’s Airing But ...

Love Syndrome (Thai Sat WeTV) stopped at ep 2 of 12 - I’m just not into any aspect of it (except Lee Long Shi and I can watch him in Tin Tem Jai) - saving to binge if the end is solid.

Venus in the Sky (Sat YouTube) pilot/tester?) 0 of 10 - not entirely sure what’s up with this one distribution-wise, but the pilot was cute, classic university-set pulp. I hope it happens because the leads are cute with good chemsitry and I thought it was fun. However, it totally holds together as it’s own little short story too.

Cafe In Love (Thai ???) 10 eps on Ch3+ - Thai pulp, about trying to save a coffee shop. FairyGodBLer came through for me, but I’m collecting to binge just in case. It’s my new policy with the grey stuff.

Destiny Seeker (Tues WeTV Thailand) 10 eps - it’s not on any WeTV I can get ahold of. Bad Buddy the pulp rebirth meets Japanese handsome host club action. Same as above.

Make a Wish (Thai Weds ?) from WaGa Creative staring Fluke Natouch (OhmFluke UWMA etc...) & Judo (The Miracle Of Teddy Bear) in a medical-fantasy. About a doctor who sees ghosts and a deity who resides in a Bodhi tree that earns merits whenever he fulfills a wish based on a y-novel by Sammon (Manner of Death, Triage). Same as above.

My Beautiful Man Eternal (Japan ????) - 3rd installment, but a movie that released 4/7 which means it’s a pain to get hold of.

In Case You Missed it

My Blessing popped up on YT. Thailand gave us a hour long take on the “my ghost boyfriend trope” with predictable results: decent heat, pulp story (which is to say no story, really) and good kisses, but it ends with death/separation. Don’t bother unless you are a particular fan of Boat (I Am Your King 2). I am, but he was, once again, underserved by this script. Sigh. 2/10 

Gaga is airing Japanese drama: Me and My Husband’s Boyfriend (concludes April 14). This is a full series dropping over two weeks. Sort of a poly romance meets psychological manipulation that starts with cheating and has lots of other taboo stuff like teacher/student. The lynchpin is an out bisexual poly manic pixie dream nightmare? boy. Don’t be deluded into thinking this is BL, it’s not even messy BL. It’s just Japan being Japan. Complete with Terrible Kissing (TM). I found it an interesting subject matter but can’t in good conscience recommend it to a BL watcher. 

Myanmar dropped a BL short called The Love Ring you can watch in on YouTube. It’s an interesting first(?) attempt with paranormal elements. It feels a lot like early Pinoy mixed with Vietnamese BL. It has a nice HEA and is worth 20 minutes of your time if you’re curious about the evolution of the genre. Considering the state of LGBTQ+ rights in that country what it is primarily is very very brave. I give it a 6/10 

Next Week Looks Like This:

Starting: 

04.14 Naked Dinner AKA Zenra Meshi (Japan Gaga) - not really my thing but yes I’ll watch it

04.15 My Story (Pinoy YouTube) - not my fandom but I will give it a go

Finishing: Unintentional & Future (@heretherebedork and I are gonna cry) 

No proper post for April but remaining release I know of is:

04.18 Step By Step (Thai WeTV) - office age gap, I am all in! Even though it’s WeTV. Sigh.

April is looking a bit slender so I might start watching Destiny Seeker or Cafe in Love, or both.

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)

Adventures in Captions

I think the word they were looking for was “disappointed” but I am going to start going around saying “a little bit failed” just as a matter of course. Suits my life well.

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

We stan consent in this house and will always give props when it shows up in BL, probably until the end of time. Look I got so used to dub con consent is still novel and exciting, okay? (Boss & Babe) 

Yes King of the Obvious, but thank you for actually confessing. Is there ED for a confession? King has a bad case. 

Is that... Thailand? Recommending therapy? WOW. Props. (Bed Friend)

(last week)

Current Kpop earworm? I’ve been dipping back into the well a lot recently, so it’s FTISLAND’s Severely. Look I just really miss Lee Hong-gi’s voice. 

[littlesislovesyou]

I am and I hope get things easier soon too 😭 I just need those good days to come sooner and preferably with morning, noon and night head and sex 😩 I appreciate you always being here though ty <333

Nah like I said it's nothing you have to change. Because my mind fluctuates constantly. Like one day I'll react to big brother or Daddy in a much more excited manner then the next day I'll be more neutral and I'll just adjust my own ask in accordance but it's nothing that makes me uncomfortable if you were to call me either or all of them. All make me happy I just noticed you had adjusted for me and I wanted to appreciate your effort. It's entirely unnecessary or optional for you but it made me happy that you did it anyway when you saw that and it shows that you're paying attention to me (like I do my best to constantly do stalking you <333) and that's enough. I can always talk about it later in dms or change my mind if it makes me uncomfy but as far as I know my biggest hurdle so far here was accepting I've fallen into your blog's hole and being unable to climb out. To no longer wanting to climb out and feeling comfortable in your presence 🤭🔪

Thank you for reaffirming and reassuring that that I'd safe and welcome here always that makes me so happy 😌🫂

Yk I ask that same question whenever you tease me at work...crazy how we both know the answer to that. Because it's fun~ And we're both insanely horny...and insane. You take your pick I suppose lol but I love ruining your panties I'd love to see them ruined one day nothing would get me harder faster knowing it's what I've caused 😈 I'm so glad you think of me too and of course I've got your notifications on...how would I ever know when you're around so I can stalk you, hm? I'm glad you enjoy it though. Just imagine my phone getting a notification from the tracking device app when you're in range~ 😌👀

To answer your question...no I can't resist stalking you just like I can't resist you nor resist doing filthy depraved fucked up things to my sweet girl and taking care of you after...speaking of. I don't wanna presume. You might have mutuals you think of like that but...that puppy reblog post with all the abuse and hitting and fucking into aftercare...surely you weren't imagine that between us are you honey? Forgive me if I'm assuming too much lol but that'd be very cute if it was (and hot ><)

Of courseeee, pshh, you don’t have to thank me, if only I could be there to be the one to give you that release 💓👀 you deserve that<33

I think if we were ever in person together we probably would be like animals in heat honestly 💓😭 you have a dangerous hold over me and my pussy<3333

And also I really appreciate you just checking in on me, it means a lot to me🩷 I did feel bad because I don’t ever mean to make you wait so long! I always read your asks as soon as I see them<3

And of course🩷 that’s not a problem at all, I just wanted to be sure for future reference<3 I just wanna be sure you’re comfortable and.. enjoying yourself as much as I am;’)🩷🩷🩷

Hey now who said I was insane?;’) kiddingggg I know I am<3 but hey as long as we can be insane and horny together then I see no problems at all

Someday I’ll show you just how much you affect me;’)🩷 I’m excited to dm you someday!

Aghhh that’s so hottttt 🥺💕 hehe now anytime I post I’m just gonna be thinking about you, not that I don’t already;’) just hoping you like it and think of me<333

Hehehehe;’) and what if I was hm? 🩷

[imnotjaesblog]

What We Do in The Shadows

What We Do in The Shadows- Lee Taeyong Simple Summary- Two idols try to live a healthy life. This includes eating well, resting, and making friends and relationships. However, both will see the thrill of having a hidden romance is a lot more thrilling than they’d hope it be. Suggestive, Fluff & Angst.

Word Count: 17K

MINORS DO NOT READ!

This is a long one. After rehearsals for a comeback, I said goodbye to the dancers and left the building. I stepped onto the elevator my manager beside me. Once the elevator dinged I walked through the lobby of the entertainment building. My manager had walked me to the black Jeep that was parked just outside the building. Pulling a face mask over my face I walked outside waving to some fans that had waited probably all day to see me.

Sitting in the car I let out a sigh. Finally, rehearsals were done and I could go home. The days leading up to the video shoot were always stressful. Everyone was tight for time since my last comeback happened a month later than it should have. Unfortunately, I had gotten covid and couldn’t perform. This meant I had to work even harder to make sure this comeback would be perfect. I picked up my phone checking the time, one o’clock in the morning. I sigh shutting my eyes for a moment before my manager hands me my second phone.

“Post something on bubble,” he tells me handing me the phone. “Then give it back” I nod taking the phone from his hands pulling down my mask letting it rest under my chin. I hold the phone up taking a quick selfie. The flash shines on my face letting me know the phone was taken. I take multiple photos before my manager takes the phone picking the best one. He opens up the editing app on that phone and edits the picture in the slightest nothing too noticeable then he posts it.

Once I finally got home I stepped out of the car my manager walked me to my apartment. Once I stepped inside the lobby and to the elevator riding up my manager left and I was finally alone. I step inside taking off my shoes and placing my bag on a nearby rack. Taking off my coat is next and soon I let down my hair scratching the top of my head. “I should probably shower before I head to bed,” I say walking in the direction of the bathroom. I let the warm water slide down my face and wash all over my body. The heat feels good on my tight muscles. After a couple more minutes of letting the heat loosen up my body, I step out drying off and putting on some pajamas. Walking over to my bed I hear my phone go off. Picking it up I smile at the name that flashes across the screen.

Taeyong- Can I come over? You’re bed it’s more comfortable than the dorm. I smile biting my fingernail as I stare at his text.

Y/n- I’m getting ready to sleep, so don’t get too creative tonight. … Taeyong- All I wanted to do was sleep too. Why what did you have in mind? 😏

Y/n- Goodnight

Taeyong- Don’t be mad at me

Y/n- I’m not mad. I’m tired 😩

Taeyong- Then let me come sleep with you. I’m tired too :(

I sigh my fingers hesitant to text him back. I want him to come over but I have to wake up early tomorrow and I know he’s not gonna sleep. He’ll do something to keep me awake whether it’s talking my ear off or in between my legs. I sigh, but I could use the company. Sometimes this apartment gets too quiet.

Y/n- Okay. You can come over but seriously just sleeping okay.

Taeyong- Okay. Open the door.

My eyes widened looking in the direction of my bedroom door then back at my phone.

Y/n- That was fast

Taeyong- Yes now please come open the door before someone sees

Y/n- Okay Read

I throw my phone on my bed, put on my slippers, and walk outside my room. Walking over to my front door I slightly open it just enough for Taeyong to sneak inside. We could never be too careful regardless of how much security this place has. Someone, anyone could be watching and waiting to expose us. Shutting the door I don’t get to properly say hello to him until it’s shut and locked. He leans down and hugs me kissing my neck.

“I missed you,” he says whispering into my ears. I giggled moving us away from the door. “Bu I told you just sleep” he nodded moving closer to me allowing me to take in his scent, he always smelled amazing. Feeling him get closer to my neck I think he was taking in my scent too. He kissed my neck again. “Bu I’m serious,” I say pushing him off. “I need to sleep. I have a lot to do tomorrow” he nodded understandingly holding my waist. “Okay okay Let’s go to sleep. You need all you’re beauty rest” he said moving a piece of hair away from my forehead. He let his hand fall to the back of my head letting the pad of his thumb rub my cheek endearingly. I leaned into his warm touch. It always felt so right to be in his arms, but oh how it was so wrong that we were doing this.

If one person saw us, just one it would be enough to ruin our careers especially mine. Taeyong may be forgiven but it doesn’t matter to what point I’ve gotten to, the industry doesn’t take too kindly to women. I have to work as hard as I did to get to where I am to continue to be where I am now. And I know it’s not his fault that the industry is so flawed, but it’s just something I have to remember it’s what helps me be so mindful and careful about what we do and what we are. I don’t want to lose Taeyong, I can’t. As the days go by I fall more and more in love with him. Taeyong smiles staring into my eyes. I turn away guiding him to my bedroom. “Come on let’s sleep”

Next Morning

The sun peaked through my blinds. Turning away from the light I was faced with a still fast asleep Taeyong. Lightly touching his forehead and moving brown pieces of hair out of the way I smiled. I pulled my hand back as he stirred in his sleep. The minutes between waking up and just before starting the day are always the best. It’s so peaceful at this time. Letting the sun creep through the blinds. The birds chirping outside and Taeyong was right beside me. Nothing could be more perfect than this. But like every morning, it’s short-lived. My alarm goes off causing Taeyong to wake up. I lean over shutting it off. “What time is it?” He asks rubbing his eyes. “Five in the morning” I respond yawning. He nods getting up from the bed and going to the bathroom. I gather some things and then follow behind him in the bathroom once I hear the water turn on.

As I brush my teeth my eyes follow the outline of the shower. It’s not a clear picture but I can see the outline of Taeyong’s body through the glass. My eyes follow his hand as he rubs and washes his body. I could start to feel the drool mixed with toothpaste start to fall from my lips but I don’t care. I don’t make any moves to clean it, I can’t. To lost in the man I call my boyfriend in the shower. Once I hear the water turn off I turn around finishing what I was supposed to be already done with. I place my toothbrush back where it belongs and fix up my hair. Taeyong wraps a towel around his waist. Through the mirror, I watch his wet hair dangle and little droplets of water fall sliding down his chest. He’s still so wet, I bit my lip trying to hide a moan at the sight of him. I turn back to my hair trying to redirect my thoughts.

Maybe I should have had some fun with him last night because he’s all I’m going to be thinking about today. I hear his feet coming up behind me. He swings both arms around my waist as I apply some makeup. He kisses under my ear letting his warm breath tickle my skin. He leans closer to my ear, “I saw you staring,” he says letting his hand travel down my waist to my thigh. He watched me through the mirror the mascara bottle starting to fall from the weakness in my hands. Letting his hands slide closer to where I desperately needed him. “Do you want me to help you?” He asks pushing my pajama shorts to the side only touching me on the outside of my panties.

Rubbing in slow circles he kissed a line of wet kisses down my neck, biting softly on the skin. “Taeyong…” I whined as he licked the spot where he bit. “Yes,” he breathed out. Holding onto his veiny bicep I squeezed silently begging him to quit teasing me and have his way with me. “Does my baby want me to touch her?” He taunted as he tapped on my clit. Letting out a low moan as his left hand slid my panties to the side his right hand finding its way slipping through my folds. I bit my lip as Taeyong circled my clit. “Taeyong please,” I pleaded. He smirked pulling his finger away for a moment bringing them up to his mouth and pushing past his lips. He hummed at the waste of my arousal. Bringing his fingers back down he slid his index finger inside me. I let out a moan leaning my head on his wet chest. He looked up at me through the mirror watching me fall apart in his arms.

Slipping in another finger he thrust them in and out of me. My hips jerked back onto his already harden dick feeling it poke my butt through his towel that remain loosely around his waist. Keeping his fingers thrusting in and out of my whole he used his left hand to angle my body allowing my ass to poke out. He pulled down my shorts removing his fingers for just amount to remove my panties. Using his hand he spread my legs apart, letting himself fall to his knees.

He watched as my wetness dripped before his eyes letting out a loud groan watching as I dripped on my bathroom floor. He licked up my thigh sucking on any part where wetness lay. Making his way to my pussy. I clenched as his fingers continued to thrust in and out of me. Soon his tongue met my pussy sucking hard and fast on my clit. I let out a loud moan as he devoured my pussy. He groaned against my pussy bucking his hips into the air. The towel barely added any friction to his boner that was concealed.

“I’m gonna cum,” I say my eyes squeezed shut. Taeyong continued to sloppy make out with my pussy letting his skillful tongue dance around my clit. Letting out one last moan I came all over his tongue and fingers. He pulled his fingers out of me sucking on them soon moving his mouth back to my pussy sucking up all my cum past his lips. Rising back up he licked his lips immediately discarding the towel from around his waist. Taking his cock in his hands he glided it through my pussy letting it circle my clit for a bit. I moaned again. This was all too much, I felt so sensitive. Anything he did set my body on fire. Every small touch, lick, and kiss set me ten steps closer to being over the edge.

Taeyong slipped inside me easily letting me adjust to him. He waited until I said it was okay to move. I clenched tightly around him as he slid in his dick. He held onto my hips tightly watching as his cock began to disappear inside me. At one point I think I clenched too hard because h Eleanor’s forward grip on my hips tightened. “Baby please…if you keep doing that I’ll cum” he said almost begging me to stop. Once he was fully inside me and I was ready I tapped the back of his muscular thigh and he began to move. He slowly began to thrust inside me finding a good angle that would feel good for both is us. Once he found a good rhythm he started to move faster. His hips smacked into mine the sound of skin slapping could be heard all over the bathroom and probably outside.

Taeyong groaned repeatedly watching himself disappear inside me. Groaning even louder when he felt my walls deliciously clench around him. Taeyong was always vocal during sex. The first time we were together was the only time he wasn’t. He was nervous the first time we got together. He had been a fan of mine. Let’s just say I did some very good fan service.

After telling him the second time we had sex that I found it attractive to hear a guy moan he wouldn’t stop. Now every time we fuck I’m blessed with the sound of his deep groans. Hearing him groan now so close to my ear turns me on even more. Feeling a gush of wetness pour out of me and slip down his cock he groans again turning me over and placing me on the bathroom sink. Spreading my legs out more from this angle he’s much deeper inside me. He watched his jaw slack as he slips in and out of me holding onto my legs just to make sure I don’t close them. His head falls back his lips pursed as he brings his head back down looking into my face. I let out a moan at the sight of him fucking me so well.

“You’re so good for me,” I say through half a moan. “You make me feel so good Bu,” I say watching as he squeezes his eyes shut fucking me even harder. He brings one of his hands to my clit circling the bundle of nerves. My head falls back in pleasure allowing me to slip into the euphoric state we’re both in. “Fuck baby I’m gonna cum,” he says pursing his lips. I lean up putting my hand around his neck and pulling him closer to me. Our eyes, nose, and lips are inches apart. He leans forward and kisses me allowing me to swallow all of his moans. “Bu I’m gonna come,” I say letting myself pull away from the kiss.

“Please come, baby, come for me,” he says against my lips. I cum all over his cock uncontrollably clenching around him. He groans, “Fuck, Fuck” he pulls out jerking his dick and cumming on my stomach. He lets out a series of breaths before he leans over and grabs a fresh towel. He cleans me up helping me off the counter and turning on the shower water. He steps out of the bathroom probably to grab some clothes and I quickly pee before he comes back then we both get into the shower and clean ourselves up.

Once I get out I reapply my makeup and blow dry my hair. Once I’m finished I check the time on my phone. Taeyong walks over now wearing a pair of sweats and a t-shirt he pulled from the drawer I left for him next to my clothes. He kisses my forehead and smiles coming up with an idea. “I was thinking we could eat breakfast together. It’s my day off and there’s this place I can take you where I can promise we won’t be bothered” he says. I sigh kissing him then pull away. “I wish I can but you know comeback season is the most stressful time. I have pre-video shoots today, but I promise once the comeback is over we’ll do something together” he sighs nodding his head and letting his hands fall from my waist holding onto my hands. “Okay,” he says looking into my eyes and smiling. “Well go out on a date once comeback season is over,” he says kissing me then moving to the side so that I could leave for the day. “Good morning,” I said bowing to all the dancers as I walked into the rehearsal room. We rehearsed the dance a couple more times before it was time to film. “This looks good. Everyone clap for yourselves” the choreographer said clapping along with the rest of the dancers. I clapped along with them as well walking over to grab a towel to wipe off my sweat. The dancers stood together gathering in their things to leave, making small talk. I took a sip of water watching the group of dancers shyly come towards me.

One of the guys stepped up first. “Hello,” he said bowing. The people behind him bowed I bowed back to them. “We wanted to say that we are grateful and honored that we will dance with you. We’re wishing you well on you’re comeback” he said politely. I smiled in return placing my water bottle back in my bag. “Thank you. Make sure you all get some rest before we film. Take care of yourselves, okay?” The man smiled nodding and bowing, the other dancers bowed as well. “We will,” they said all walking away giggling excitedly to one another.

I smiled watching them walk away. Soon my smile started to fade realizing I would never have that again. A while ago before I was in a group with eight other girls. Our group was pretty successful throughout Asia. We had performed, recorded albums, and went on three tours together before our disbandment two years ago. I’ll never forget the day we disbanded. One of my members, unfortunately, had gotten into a scandal that she couldn’t save herself from, a dating scandal. Usually, with dating scandals, the company would put out a statement saying it’s false. That the two are just friends or have never met. Either way, the scandal cannot be confirmed as the truth. However, in her case, the scandal was proven to be true. She wasn’t even dating the guy, she was married to him. She had missed a comeback and people started to grow suspicious of her long absents. At first, people assumed it was because she was ill but she had gotten married and went on her honeymoon. She had an extremely private wedding only a few friends and family members showed up.

When she had gotten back from her honeymoon people started to notice she was gaining weight, especially around her face. Fans hid their fatphobia with back-handed concerns. People followed her, and they paid more attention to her. Noting that during parties or episodes of our show, she’d be the only one to pass down a drink. When the public realized she was pregnant it wasn’t too long until they found out by who. Once they found out that not only was she married, but she was married to another idol both of their lives were put in jeopardy and soon it became too much to handle.

The fans started to come for the other members including myself now believing we all had a secret love affair happening behind the scenes. We did what we could to convince the fans we were single But to no avail. The fans and the media became obsessive and demanded a response or evidence to prove we were liars. It became so bad that people no longer wanted to support us. They felt hurt and betrayed. They stopped buying our albums, and our merchandise, and watching our show. I didn’t realize how hard it had hit us until we gave our final show and half the stadium was empty. The company decided it was best for us to disband.

Nowadays some of my other members have started their solo careers, some as actors and others as singers. One even debuted in a new girl group. And three others decided to leave idol life for good. I was lucky enough to build my career back up, changing the identity I had from my last group to the one I have now. In my group, I was the lead rapper and the main dancer who was the happy virus of my group. Now I’m a vocalist/dancer who is much more mature and toned down. I hated it. I preferred to be loud and colorful but my management told me, “No one wants to hear a pretty girl make a rap album. You’re too pretty and too delicate to make a rap album, don’t be so aggressive, try singing instead” what does that even fucking mean.

Walking into the music video set after getting my hair and makeup done I look to my left to see Taeyong. Widening my eyes I walk over to him pulling him to the side by his arm. “What are you doing here? Are you trying to get caught?” I ask nervously. My stomach turned at the thought of someone seeing. He smiled waving his hand. “It’s okay, I have a friend who’s here so everyone knows I’m with him. No one will know” he reassured me. I sigh nodding my head, “Okay but be mindful okay? This is my first solo album and I don’t need a scandal” I say rubbing my temples. He nods, “Don’t worry. Just do your thing okay?” I nodded walking away from him towards the set. Placing my water bottle down and moving a piece of hair behind my head I let out a breath standing in position.

Currently, we’re filming one of the dance scenes, this one will be used in the performance video so it has to be perfect. The set was a meadow filled with fake flowers, trees, and a blue sky as the backdrop. Standing on my tape the dancers already placed on their tap wearing their costumes as well stood in position. Letting out a shakey breath I looked over at Taeyong who smilies giving me a thumbs up. Once the music started had shot right into idol mode and danced flawlessly.

“I’m sorry the shoot finished so let,” I told Taeyong who currently sat across from me at one of the best restaurants in Gangnam. He shook his head waving his hand and picking up his chopsticks. “Don’t worry about it. If there’s anyone who understands long shoots it’s me,” he joked taking a bite of his dinner. Picking up some meat on a chopstick he leaned his hand over the table bringing the meat to my mouth. I gladly accepted it letting the flavor melt on my tongue. I hummed in approval. “Thank you bu I needed this,” I say grateful he still wanted to go out so late. Even though we were in a room ourselves separated from the public with the windows closed it still felt good to eat outside my apartment and his dorm. “Of course, I just want to make sure you feel good,” he says continuing to eat his food.

“How do you feel Bu?” I ask also eating from my plate. He shrugs, “I’m okay. It felt good to sleep today, I needed it,” he says honestly. I won’t be surprised that he stood in my apartment to rest after I left just to make sure he got those few extra needed hours. I wouldn’t even be mad at him if he did, he always welcomed me there. At this point, he practically lives there. I have his toothbrush there, his hairbrush, skincare, clothes even some shoes. He even bought me a fish to keep in my living room, he set it up last Christmas. Before we got serious it was always his excuse to come over. “Can I check on the fish?” Or “Is the fish okay? I should come over and see” or my personal favorite. “I put the tank together so I should be the one to clean it”

Once we finished our dinner I walked out of the restaurant after Taeyong to around wandering eyes. However, on my way out I slipped causing Taeyong to turn around and catch me. Helping me up he held my hand staring into my eyes deep into my eyes. “Are you okay?” He asked. I nodded forgetting where I was or who would see. This was the first time we held hands in public. Even if it was because I almost broke up my face we were still touching one another in the public eye. It doesn’t seem scary at first glance. To maybe a child or an older person we were regular people holding hands, but to the man behind us with the camera we were rent. Click Dispatch: Taeyong and Y/n are rumored to be Dating. The two were seen leaving a restaurant at Gangnam together at night. This is Y/n’s first dating scandal since had been rumored to be dating Nct member Jung Jaehyun and Bts Jeon Jungkook. The rumors circulated back when she was in her now-disbanded group Moonlight. Now rumored to be dating Nct’s Leader Lee Taeyong.

Shade Room- Kpop Star Y/n rumored to be dating Nct’ s Lee Taeyong. Before this, she had been rumored to be dating fellow band member Jung Jaehyun. Does this make Y/n a Hommie Hopper?

TMZ Live- Kpop Star Y/L Y/n rumored to be dating a coworker Lee Taeyong leader of the K-pop group Nct 127. Before this, she had been rumored to have been dating his bandmate Jung Jaehyun who is also friends with Bts Jeon Jungkook who is friends with Jaehyun. Y/n must like Kimchi.

I sat on my couch late at night watching the news. My face flashed across the screen again and again. The same picture of me and Taeyong was shown all over Korean national television and apparently, the story was so interesting it made it to global news. My manager had taken me home refusing to let Taeyong speak to me, assuming enough damage had been created. I had only picked up my phone when multiple calls from the company came in. My friends had told me not to check Twitter or Instagram just to stay silent and wait for my company to handle it. Which is what I did. I waited for my company to handle it. I didn’t know what to do. When I was rumored to be dating Jaehyun the Jungkook rumors came out at the same time so people started to assume they were false, which they were. I was dating a different idol at the time, Cha Eunwoo.

Biting my nails I waited for another company call to come in. What if I get fired? What if I lose everything I worked for? What if people hate me? What if the fans stop supporting me? I kill myself with these questions beginning to walk back in forth in my living room. I felt sick at the idea of losing everything I have. I could lose my record deal. I could lose the apartment. Overthinking another one of my poor qualities. Assuming the worst because I expected the worst was always my downfall. A knock at the door temporarily silenced my thoughts. Walking over to the door and checking the peephole making sure it was an obsessive fan trying to kill me I yelped in surprise seeing Taeyong.

I pulled him inside quickly not giving him a chance to take off his shoes. I shut the door locking it. I turn to face him. “What are you doing here? Do you know what would happen if someone saw you right now? Seeing you stand outside my apartment at this time? Do you know what they would say? Do you know what they're saying now?” I asked too many questions to keep count. Taeyong sighed taking off his shoes and walking into my apartment and towards the couch. He shut the news off changing the channel. “What are you doing?” I asked. He flipped through the channels.

“Everything is gonna be okay, okay? The company will clear this up and say we accidentally bumped into each other or we met over dinner to discuss business like a collab. We’ll be okay, okay?” He says wording the last part like a question. I let out my first breath of the night sitting beside him and letting myself lay into his chest. He holds me tight kissing me on the top of my head. “Everything is gonna be okay” he lightly scratches the top of my head. “We’ll be okay,” he says.

“I hope so,” I respond keeping my eyes on the tv. Taeyong finally finds a random channel to leave on keeping the volume low as he sings to me. His voice is the last thing I hear before I shut my eyes and fall asleep.

Waking up the next morning feeling myself still wrapped in Taeyong’s arms I snuggled up to his chest more taking in his natural scent. As I lay cuddled in his arms I thought for a moment. This was so unfair. All I wanted to do was do something normal in my life for once like dating. I know now becoming an idol meant that I had to give up any bit of privacy I had. I just never would have thought it would have been this bad.

Over two years, I’ve moved three times. My address got leaked in my last two apartments in Seoul so now I live in Gangnam praying that no one will find me again. The first time it happened I was terrified. It was late at night when I felt someone touch my hair. Waking up by the odd feeling I jumped in fear. A stranger stood by my pillow playing with my hair as I slept. Running away into my bathroom and locking the door I called the police. The stranger continued to bang on the door begging for me to return to my bed. I just stood on the phone with the cops until they had arrived.

Now I have cameras in my apartment and the building installed some in the hallway after I told them what happened, just to make sure everyone is safe. I also have security outside my door every day to make sure that never happens again. I sighed feeling a test form in my eye. My life is never gonna be the same. Sometimes I wish my life was boring, I envy those who live simple lives. I can’t even have a boyfriend without everyone’s heart exploding in betrayal or head exploding in jealousy.

I leaned over to the side picked up my phone deciding to check my socials, even though I really shouldn’t. A part of me couldn’t help it. I was curious about what people said, even if it’s bad I wanted to know. I swiped up unlocked my phone and opened up Twitter. I clicked over to the trending page and sure enough, there were my and Taeyong’s names trending number one. I bit my lip my finger hovering over the hashtag. Pulling it away I looked back at Taeyong who peacefully slept on my sofa. Turning back to my phone I started biting my nails. Taeyong would tell me not to read them. He would take my phone and put it down and distract me in any way he could. Whether it was making me laugh, singing, or fucking he would do something, but he was asleep right now and couldn’t stop me so I clicked the hashtag which I really shouldn’t have done.

Neogirl127 - Y/n you better leave my Taeyong or else.

Y/nforever- Taeyong is just using Y/n for her money. Y/n, leave him!!!

Neogirl127- Taeyong doesn’t need Y/n for money, he outdanced and out-rapped, if anything he’s paying her bills. Neogirl127 replied to Y/nforever.

Y/nforever- Are you blind? He outdanced/trapped no one. Y/n is way more famous than him and has way more money. You’re favs are just broke and you’re mad. Cry about it. 🤷‍♀️

Fan wars were normal in the industry. I didn’t fear them too much, sometimes they just made me cringe by the things they would say. Outdanced? Outrapped? What does that even mean? I don’t even rap anymore. I started to scroll down more people telling me I need to leave him alone and that he belonged to them. Luckily my fans had my back, the only unlucky thing about that is a lot of them were putting down Taeyong to lift me and that is not okay. As I started to scroll down I started to see more of the darker tweets. Naneo127- I hope Taeyong-Oppa realizes Y/n is just a slut who will open her legs for anyone. I mean she already spread them for Jaehyun. Who’s next Johnny?

Nightjae- I hope Y/n dies so she can finally leave oppa alone.

Neocity- Y/n is too fat and ugly for yongie. She’s just a fat pig who needs to die. Marksmelons- If she doesn’t leave him I’ll kill Bet myself. Marksmelons replied to Neocity. Neocity- I’ll help you. Neocity replied to Marksmelons. I left Twitter swiping it away. I felt so sick to my stomach. Everyone hated me. Why? Just like that everything I worked towards all started to fade away. My phone started to ring causing Taeyong to wake up. He rubbed his eyes looking into my direction mouth if everything was okay as I put the phone to my ear. My manager was calling. I nodded, and he nodded in return walking into the bathroom.

“Hello,” I said standing up and walking towards my kitchen. “Have you heard anything? Is there a plan?” I ask anxiously tapping my fingers on the counter. My manager cleared his throat. “Well, more people are talking but the company spoke with SM both are going to deny the rumors and say it was a slight run it and you two don’t even know each other. Who just overstepped and tripped and Taeyong was a gentleman and caught you. The fans will believe he’s a perfect guy and that you’re a little clumsy and made a mistake,” he said.

I scoffed, “So let's get this straight. Taeyong looks like the good guy and I look like what a cultz! How does that help me?” My manager huffed, “Don’t fight me on this, this is the best we can do for you. Besides it helps your image. Damsel in distress. It’s perfect,” he said. I could hear the smirk in his voice. I huffed shaking my head and placing my fingertips on my forehead.

“Whatever,” I said hanging up. I slammed my phone on the counter. “Be careful you might break it,” Taeyong said now in a change of clothes, his hair wet and fresh from the shower. I sighed picking up my phone and placing it in my pocket. “What’s the matter?” He asked coming towards me. He stood behind me using the tips of his fingers to glide up and down my arms. “Are you stressed because of the rumors? It’s gonna be okay, the company can handle it” he said hoping to lighten the mode. I shook my head scoffing pushing his hand away and walking towards my bedroom closing the door. The door opened again Taeyong followed inside.

I walked around my room gathering a comfortable outfit to wear after I shower. Taeyong watched as I did this quickly my steps full of frustration. Taeyong confused continued to watch me before speaking up. “Did I say something?” He asked a little worry in his voice. I shook my head grabbing a baggy graphic t-shirt. “No,” I said sternly not making eye contact with him. I could feel his eyes on me watching my face. The way my eyebrows furrowed every time I dropped a pair of shorts on the ground.

“Baby, what’s the matter?” He asked coming closer to me picking up the black shorts and handing them to me. I snatched them from his hand. “I don’t need your help,” I said walking away and into the bathroom. I sighed closing the door a test slipping from my eye. Maybe I was too harsh? No, I’m not crying because I was mean I’m crying because I’m angry. I’m angry at the fact that people around the world wanted me dead because I stepped away, out of the light, and played around in the shadows for a moment. I’m angry because my company doesn’t take me seriously. I’m angry that Taeyong is acting like everything is okay when it’s not. I’m angry that people hate me more than they hate Taeyong right now. I mean why? Is it because I’m a woman? I don’t know what to do anymore. I choked on a sob. A knock came on the door.

“Y/n? Baby, are you okay?” Now I felt even worse. He was so loving and so caring. He deserves better than to be treated the way I treated him. He did nothing wrong. People hated him too. I just wish he could see the reality of my life having to deal with such a scandal, this could break me. I cried in the shower until the water turned cold and I finally got out. Picking up my phone the next morning I read the headline of the article that had just been published. Lee Taeyong was spotted outside Y/n’s house. Click the link below to check out the rest of the story. How. How? I sat up on my bed a cold sweat falling down the middle of my back. The thick comforter suffocated me as I blinked my eyes constrained on my phone. How did they find me? I thought to myself scratching the top of my head I tried to think of anything I did wrong. I always kept my apartment private, I didn’t even do livestreams in my home just to be safe nor did u post pictures of the inside or outside of my apartment. My manager always made sure I wasn’t being followed home as well as my security. So how could anyone even find me? How did they even know where to look?

Did they follow me? Did they follow Taeyong? My eyes widened I clicked on the link leading me to the evidence. There were pictures of Taeyong outside my apartment building. Then more pictures of him walking down my hallway wearing a baseball cap and a mask. Then to the front of my door. The final pictures sealed the deal. I was outside my apartment door letting him inside.

I wanted to scream. How could I be so stupid? So unaware of my surroundings. What’s worse is these pictures were taken at night so who knows what crazy story they’ll put together. And my security. Where were they? How come they didn’t see this person taking photos or following Tae? I turned to my side for a moment trying to catch my breath. My mind was running a mile a minute and it was beginning to give me a headache.

My eyes burned when looked down to see Taeyong fast asleep snoring lightly his head peaking from the blankets. His arm was laid out in the spot that I was once laying in where he held me. I leaned over my phone still in my hand. I carefully touched the tip of my fingers over his forehead moving some strands of hair out of the way being cautious not to wake him. He stirred in his sleep. I pulled my hand away looking back at my phone. When will this end? My phone rang causing Taeyong to jolt awake. “You set an alarm?” He asked rubbing his eyes. I shook my head. “No, it’s my company. They probably want to talk about the article” I say biting my nails. “What article,” he asks now half awake. “The one that was published an hour ago,” I say standing up out of my bed and walking into my bathroom picking up the call. “Y/n,” the owner said. I gulped stepping further into the bathroom and walking towards the counter. I held my phone to my ear my legs shaking in fear. Please tell me this isn’t the end. It can’t be. I’ve worked so hard to be here. I can’t lose it all again. “Yes sir?” I say more in the form of a question.

“Are you aware that you have been talked about in the media lately and not for good reasons?” I sighed letting my fingers fall from my mouth. “Yes, and I’m sorry I’m doing my best to keep everything a secret. I truly am, I just don’t know what happened I mean this is a huge invasion of privacy and I think we should be dealing with the person who did this” I respond hoping he’ll be on my side. “Look Y/n you’ve never really given me any trouble. You do what you’re supposed to and I appreciate that. You’re very popular and you have contributed a lot to the company. You are our top star and we need it to stay that way, right?” He worded that last as a question. “Yes and-“

“And I’m going to handle this on one condition,” he said. I smiled my heart thumping out of my chest. “Sure what it is?” I ask ready to do anything to keep my career.

“You mess up again and you have to leave Taeyong. I can’t have any more slip-ups from our star girl. Do you understand?” He asked. The thumping of my heart turned. Instead of excited me it was replaced with anxiety. What if he can’t take care of it? What if the media will continue to find “evidence” of my relationship? I can lose Taeyong to all of this. I can’t lose him, I won’t lose him. I stepped out of the bathroom after taking some time to get ready for the day. Walking out Taeyong remained on my bed his phone in his hand scrolling through whatever app he was on. When I walked in closing the bathroom door behind me he let his phone fall to the side. Sitting up from the bed walked over to me kissing me before he walked into the bathroom. What am I gonna do? I thought to myself. I walked over to my closet grabbing my workout bag. I had Pilates in thirty minutes and I didn’t want to be late. Getting my bag ready Taeyong came out of the bathroom. He frowned seeing me with a bag in my hand. “Where are you going?” He asked. I going the bag over my shoulder. “Pilates. Make sure you leave a little after to me. Also,” I walk over to the kitchen to get my water bottle. Filling it up my back faces him. “Try not to come over as much. I don’t want fans or the media to get suspicious. All I need is one more article about me and then..”

“And then what?” I sigh, “My company says if one more article comes out I’ll have to leave you,” I say closing the cap of my water bottle. Taeyong’s shoulders fall, and he stops following me around as I walk over to my door slipping on a sweater as well as more sneakers. “Are you gonna leave me?” He asks walking towards me. I could hear the sadness in his voice. I sighed, “I don’t want to. But if it protects us both then we might have to” I say walking out my front door and leaving a desperate Taeyong inside.

I’ve become more anxious about my surroundings since the article. I always look behind me, never sit with my back facing a door, I even fired the security guards that stood outside my door and hired new ones. One used to work for Beyoncé so maybe he’ll do a better job. Sometimes there will be fans outside the company door waiting for their favorite idols to walk in. I normally didn’t mind as long as they didn’t touch me inappropriately or the staff. They usually just sing praises and just want you to say hello. They don’t follow anyone inside so the fans were deemed harmless. And most times they didn’t show up. Only on special occasions. Like an idol's birthday or comeback day.

However today they were all waiting outside for me. And I knew it wasn’t good since I spotted some neobongs in the crowd. I let my head hit the car seat. My manager looked over seeing more fans than usual. Panicking he told the driver to park behind the company so that I could get out without being harassed. My fans and nctzens shouted at the black SUV.

“Leave Taeyong-oppa alone!”

“Stop being annoying and just leave!”

“You a waste of air. I can’t believe Taeyong Oppa breathes the same air as you!”

“Honestly just die!”

“Stop being so mean. Let them do whatever they want!”

“Y/n leave Taeyong you’re too good for him!”

“If you don’t leave him I won’t listen to you’re music anymore!”

“I’ll burn all you’re albums!”

“Y/n you’re too pretty for him!”

“You’re too good for him! Just let him date some other girl and you date a better man!”

Both fandoms shouted at the car, they shouted at me. Why was I being punished? Why were we being punished for wanting to have both a career and for being in love? This was so unfair I thought to myself. And all my company could think about was making their next buck off me. Unfuckingbelievable. A couple of weeks went by since Taeyong last came to my house. We’ve only contacted each other through our phones. We text and call when we can but meeting up in person wasn’t the best idea for right now. We even let the others know where we were going just to make sure there were no accidental run-ins. It sucked that we have to do this but we were left with no choice. Imagine what people would say, do if the rumors were confirmed true. It would be over for both is us. I curled my legs together praying that this would all be over soon. I had eventually fallen asleep still wearing my jeans and blouse. My hair had landed in every direction so I had to pull some out from my face when I woke up. I stretched almost cramping up from how long I stretched. I rubbed my eyes looking towards my window. When I had fallen asleep it was still bright outside, now it was dark and rainy the city lights glowing like stars. A knock at the door stole my focus. I stood up from my bed putting on my slippers. Before stepping out my bedroom door I grabbed my white robe.

Opening my bedroom door I closed it behind me holding the robe tightly around myself. The knocking continued as I made my way to the door. The lights in my living room were off. The only light source coming from the windows. The moonlight mixed with the crash of thunder and lightning every few seconds would light up a path to the front door.

The knocking became more hustle. Whoever was outside really wanted to get in. By the knock, I knew it wasn’t Taeyong. He knows the code to my apartment and would have just walked in and even then he would have texted me to let me know he was coming. Slowly I walked towards the door trying my best to remain calm and quiet. Standing on my tippy-toes I placed my hand on the door to keep my balance checking the peephole. Through the small hole, I could see a person wearing a black hoodie holding a duffle bag. One of my security guards lay unconscious on the ground. So much for my protection. The knocking stopped my eyes remained focused on the unknown figure. Trying to control my breath the thunder crashing and breaking the silence caused me to yelp. The figure slowly moved its head up looking directly at the peephole. I had made direct contact with the mask-covered person.

I quickly stood back running to the closet in my bedroom where my wooden baseball bat lay. Grabbing it I ran to my phone calling the police.

“Hello yes, a person is standing outside my door. I don’t know who they are. They keep banging on my front door and I’m afraid they're here to hurt me” I said panicking my voice barely above a whisper. “What makes you think there, there to hurt you?” The female officer asks. I shake my head. “They have a big duffle bag. I don’t know what’s inside. Can you just please send someone? I don’t want to die” I said on the phone with the useless officer.

“Tell me did you see their face?” She asks. I sigh annoyed. “What? No, I didn’t see their face. Listen just tell me are you sending someone or not?” I ask. I hear typing on a computer. Another strike of lightning flashes followed by thunder causing me to jump. “We are sending a car now. Remain on the phone with me until they arrive. Is there anywhere for you to hide?” She asks. I nod, “Yes I could hide in the bathroom. I’ll lock the door” I say walking towards the bathroom holding tightly onto the bat.

“Okay. Lock the door” she says. I lock the door turning off the bathroom light. I hold the phone to my ear holding tightly onto the baseball bat. “Tell me what is your name?” The officer asks. “I’m Officer Park,” she says.

“I’m Y/n,” I said my voice shakey. My heart is leaping out of my chest. My throat feels so dry that it would hurt to drink anything. The banging on the door continues causing a chill up my spine to crawl causing all my tiny hairs on the back of my neck. A tear slips from my eyes. Why was this happening? I choke on a sob. Why was I being targeted?

“Okay okay now tell me what you see,” Park says through the phone. “Uh the lights are off but I can see the candle I lit earlier,” I say looking directly at the candle. “Is someone coming?” I ask again. The officer reassures me someone is coming. “What else do you see?” “How is this helping? I could-“

The banging stopped. But what caught my attention was not the on and off again banging. It wasn’t the groaning from behind the door. The thunder and lightning outside crashing together didn’t frighten me anymore. It became distant noise compared to the kicking of the front door. Tears slipped down my eyes as I placed my hand over my phone. Shaking in my white slippers I fell to my knees still holding the phone to my ear. The bat lay next to me now as I tried to control my breathing as I heard the keypad to my front door being clicked on and then, My front door opened.

The house fell silent. The thunder turned into simple rain. I could only hear the floor creek as the intruder walked further into the house. “Hello? Hello Y/n are you still there?” The officer asked. I nodded holding my phone shut. Trying to not let out a sob. “It’s here. Whoever it is, is inside my house” I say hearing the intruder walk further into the living room. “Just remain calm, someone is coming,” Park said trying to help me relax, but to no avail. I was terrified. What if this person was going to steal from me or kill me or worse? Standing up onto my feet my knees wobbled to the bathroom door making sure I had locked it. Once I had checked I let out a small breath but not before it spoke.

“Where are you bitch?! Come out and show yourself!” The person said. It had a girl's voice, a young woman’s voice she can’t be any older than twenty-four. I thought to myself. “Y/n the police are ten minutes away. Try you’re best to remain calm” Park said. Ten minutes was too far away. They’ll never make it in time. “COME OUT!” The woman yelled. I could hear something break. Then another object broke. She was probably breaking my vase full of flowers. “IF YOU COME OUT NOW MAYBE I’LL SPARE YOU,” she said angrily as she broke more objects in my home. I held the bat closer to me with my right hand. My phone was being held by my left.

“COME ON Y/N. I KNOW YOUR HOME. I SAW YOU THROUGH THE PEEP-HOLE” she yelled viciously. I could hear more things being destroyed as she made her way further into my apartment. “Oh, maybe you’re hiding in the kitchen!” She said tauntingly. Relaxing a sigh of frustration I heard the sound of plates and cups crashing onto the floor. “Maybe in one of you’re many, many rooms,” she said. I heard her walk further away from my bedroom allowing me to let out a sigh of relief. Hopefully, she’ll stay there by the time the police come.

“Okay Y/n now I want you to tell me you’re favorite song,” Park said. I raised a brow confused. “How is that going to help?” I whispered and yelled doing my best to keep quiet. “Trust me okay? Close you’re eyes and breathe” she said. “Answer the question please” “I guess The Rainy Night, Nct 127,” I said keeping my eyes closed and letting out a breath. Every object that broke caused me to jump, but I could feel my heart start to slow down returning to its normal pace. However, my moment of relaxation was short-lived when I heard the bedroom door open.

“Maybe you’re in the closet,” she said and what I could only assume was break down the door to the closet. I heard her footsteps get farther probably checking the opposite side of the bed facing towards my window. “Not under the bed” she noted. “Please Officer Park tells them to hurry she’s in my room,” I said starting to panic again. “Just relax Y/n the officers are minutes away,” the officer said. I shook my head shaking where I stand. “No no, I’ll be head by then” “No Y/n you’re going to be fine just breathe” I shake my head dropping my phone. “I can’t I can’t-“

“So you’re in the bathroom,” the intruder says mockingly. I widened my eyes. My heart completely fell to my ass. I’m doomed. She’s going to come in here and kill me. I’m going to end up on the news tonight and everyone is gonna find out I died. I’m completely screwed and no one is here to help me. I back away from the bathroom door slowly. I try my best to save myself still holding onto hope. “Please go away. I’ll give you anything you want! Money, cars, a house! I can even buy you a plane!” I said trying to bribe her to win my freedom.

She scoffed bitterly. “I do not want your money or connections. You think just because you’re rich you can buy you’re way out of this. You see this is you’re the problem. People like you assume that you can just through some cash and everything will be okay. Well, it’s not. You’re not good enough for this place and you’re not good enough for Taeyong” she begins to say. So this is what this is about. She wants to hurt me because of him.

“Just tell me you’ll leave him and I’ll leave. You will never see my face again if you tell me you will break up with him and never see him again. Tell me you’ll stop bothering him and his members and go away. As matter a of fact why don’t you just leave the country and never return? Yeah. Do that and I won’t kill you” she jeers. “Listen I don’t know who you are but trust me I can help you. If you want help I can provide that for you. This. What you’re doing is not okay. Do you think Taeyong would be impressed or appreciate what you’re doing here tonight? Do you think be with you if you kill me? You being here is going to hurt him. Think about it for a moment…do you think he will still love you as his fan if he knows the harm you will cause the people he loves?” I ask trying to get the intruder to comply. I want us both to survive this and I want her to leave.

“I won’t call the police if you just go. I’ll continue to love my life and you can continue to live yours and we can both act like this never happened” I say the bat now sitting loosely in my hand. I walk closer to the door seeing the shadow of her foot from underneath shifting around. “Just please go home,” I say hoping this works and we can all just go back to how things were. But that’s the thing. This world isn’t perfect and you don’t always get what you want.

She began pounding on the bathroom door. “I don’t need him to love me. I need you dead.” She said hotly. The banging continued, she was trying to break down the door. I clenched my bat backing away from the door. Stepping into the bathtub I waited for the door to open. If she comes in I won’t hesitate to swing. I tried to be nice and understanding, it didn’t work. Now I have to use plan B, fight fire with fire hopefully I don’t get burned. “Y/n? What the hell happened?” I heard his voice. My eyes widened looking towards the door. “No no no,” I said to myself hearing the banging on the bathroom door stop. “Look who’s home,” she said. I could hear her footsteps walking away from the bathroom door. I immediately jumped into action stepping out of the bathtub my slippers now slightly wet. Sliding across the white tiles I kicked my phone under the sink, Officer Park still on the line.

“Hello? Hello Y/n!”

I unlocked the bathroom door seeing no sight of the young woman. “Who are you?” I heard Taeyong ask the intruder. “It’s me? Don’t you recognize me?” She asked him. She had left the duffle bag in the room. I walked past it not wasting time searching. Making my way slowly to the bedroom door I clenched onto my bat tightly so tight my knuckles began to turn white. Without hurrying I opened up my bedroom door walking into the living room trying my best to around any spots I know will creek. Taeyong’s front was facing me and the young’s woman back was turned to me. I could see when she lifted the mask off her face.

Taeyong hadn’t noticed me yet keeping his focus on the girl. “Still don’t recognize me?” She asked. I could hear the smile through her words. Taeyong squinted his eyes. “Shut you’re the girl that followed us around during our U.S tour. You're the same girl who followed Yuta around the mall and me and Doyoung around the dorms” She nodded excitedly. “I knew you would recognize me,” she said clasping her hands together.

“Where is Y/n? Did you hurt her?” He asked worriedly. I continued to creep up from behind Taeyong finally seeing me. I brought my finger to my lips telling him to be quiet, he nodded turning his attention back to the girl. The perfect distraction.

She huffed crossing her arms over her chest. “Really in here and all you want to do is talk about her? Well if you need to know I killed her. I killed her for you so that you could be happy. Y/n is only going to bring you down” she began walking towards him. He backed away from her which made her angry so she picked up a sculpture a threw it at my tv causing it to shatter along with everything else in my living room that I hasn’t noticed yet. “You think that makes me happy? Why would that make me happy? You’re insane!” He said causing her to act out again this time taking a knife from her pocket. “So ungrateful. I guess I have to kill you too” Before she could get close to him I hit her over the head with my wooden bat causing her to fall onto the ground a small pool of blood beginning to form near her head.

“Are you okay?” Taeyong came running to my pulling me into his arms. “I was so scared I thought you were hurt” he kissed the top of my head a tear slipping down his eye and down the top of my head. “I thought you were dead” “Freeze!” A bunch of officers holding guns and flashlights walked into my damaged apartment taking a look at us and then at the unconscious probably dead girl on my floor. They walked over seeing the wooden bat with blood at the top on the ground next to the young woman. They walked over to me taking both me and Taeyong away.

“Am I going to jail?” I asked as the officer stood in front of me. Placing a blanket behind me and handing me a cup of water. He shook his head. “No, she broke it and threatened to kill you as well as you’re boyfriend. It was self-defense” he said. I nodded looking over at Taeyong who sat in front of a female officer who also placed a blanket around him. The male officer in front of me cleared his throat. “I can’t be easy,” he said. Looking over at Taeyong and then at me. “What?” I asked. “For the two of you, dating. We found where the woman was staying. She had a bunch of photos of him all over her wall. As well as pictures of you. I’m assuming she had been stalking you both, especially you. I would recommend getting a bodyguard or someone to keep you safe and you might want to move out of this place, this is just my advice to you. It would be a shame if a young woman as you got hurt” he bowed before walking away to the female officer in front of Taeyong. He leaned over to her and they nodded walking away.

Taeyong instantly came to my side holding me. I leaned into his chest taking in his warmth and his scent. I was going to appreciate him now before I did what I knew I had to do.

This was going to break my heart but at least it would keep us safe. “I don’t know if it’s a good time to go into you’re apartment now being that the intruder destroyed a lot of your items. There is a place nearby where you can stay. You want to collect you’re things an officer can travel up with you to make sure nothing else bothers you tonight” I nodded slipping from Taeyong’s grasp removing the blanket and placing it in the ambulance. I watched as the young woman get placed on a stretcher and get slipped into the back of the ambulance. Taeyong stood next to me placing his blanket next to mine. “I’ll come with you,” he said. I nodded as he followed behind me. “I’ll wait by the door,” the officer said as I walked up to my front door. Opening it I gasped. Everything was destroyed. My paintings, my sculptures, my pictures even my computer. Why? Why would she destroy all of this? Was she trying to take everything from me? I walked further into the room Taeyong followed behind also letting out a gasp. Mindful of his step he walked inside behind me. “Be careful” he said taking my arm and helping me step over the large pieces of glass from the now-broken window. My brain could believe what I was seeing was real. Had my apartment been destroyed? What was the purpose of this? I thought to myself seeing my fish tank destroyed. All my fish lay on the ground dead. Picking them up I placed them into an empty cup nearby.

“I think we should go” Taeyong began. “You can stay at my dorm with me,” he said. I shook my head holding onto the cup full of dead fish. A tear slipped from my eye. “No, it’s unsafe,” I say. “It’s better if I stay with a friend” I place the cup down next to the table where the fish once swam. Taeyong shook his head. “No you have to come with me, please. I’ll feel better if you are beside me. So I can protect you” I sigh making my way around the couch. “I don’t need you to protect me. I need you to be safe, if anything by doing this I’m protecting you”

“I don’t need you to protect me. That’s not your job-“ he followed me around the couch where the broke tv lay in pieces all over the cream-colored rug. My face began to heat and soon the rest of my body. “Oh, and what exactly is your job? To protect me. Why because I’m some helpless woman who needs a man to make sure she’s safe and secure. I don’t need you to protect me, I can handle myself” I said angrily. Was I just some weakling to the world? “Y/n look what happened tonight. I mean honestly-“

“Honestly what? Last time I checked I saved you from getting stabbed to death!” I said making my way around the couch Taeyong quickly on my trail just in case I fall.

“Baby please just listen,” he said like he was trying to be reasonable. “No no, you like everyone else believe I need to be protected. Put in a box where I can’t get hurt. Admit it you think I can’t handle myself” I say causing Taeyong to sigh in defeat. “Fine. I believe you can’t handle yourself. I believe that you can’t protect yourself I mean look at you! Look at this place! For weeks you’ve been all jumpy by any ding of you’re phone scared that we’ll get caught” “I’m not scared I’m careful. Unlike you, you seem to want to get caught”

“You see that’s it right there! I can’t live like this” He shook his head both frustrated and disappointed. I stopped in my tracks turning to him but being mindful of the glass on the floor. I could feel the bottled-up anger forming in me bubbling up to the surface. “You knew what this was when we got together. You knew we had to be careful even when we were just friends” “Yes I know but it shouldn’t be this way” “We have no choice but to live this way! It sucks it truly does but what choice do we have. You can’t have a relationship and you’re career you know that"

“You’re so selfish for saying that,” he says. “That’s so unfair”

“Selfish? I’m doing all this to be with you. I’m risking my entire career just to be with you. I get it, it’s easier for you because well let’s be honest here the fans are more forgiving of a man. But for me it’s different. I mean look around you Taeyong. My home was destroyed by some crazy-obsessed fan. How many more have to break down my door for you to see that I’m risking my life to be with you” I say causing Taeyong to remain silent. He kicked the ground putting his hands in his pocket. Nodding his head he wiped a tear away from his eye. “You’re right. I’m not the one not seeing the problem here. I’m holding you back” he said. “You deserve so much more than this. I can’t keep holding you back” he says his throat cracking. He keeps his eyes away from mine as he speaks.

“Now that’s unfair Bu. Both of us are risking a lot to be together and you’re not holding me back. Taeyong I love you so much” I say slowly walking toward him. “But,” he says his eyes glued to the floor. I stop in my tracks this is it. This is where it ends. “But…” When I fail to finish my sentence he finished it for me. “I can’t keep letting you save me. You always take the blame for me Y/n. Let me protect you this one time. Let me be the one to protect you just this time time” he said finally looking into my eyes. A sob left my throat and I quickly covered it turning away from him. I could hear his footsteps coming towards me and then stopping. I walked away from him down the hallway into a nearby room. Once I shut the door I opened my eyes. Blinded by tears I tried to make out what room I was in. Soon realizing where I was standing I let out a sound of pure pain.

It wasn’t the cry you make when you’re heart is broken. It was the sound you make when you have lost everything. Both Taeyong and the officer came running in seeing me kneeling on the ground. Not yet noticing the room until they turned their eyes away from me. The officer widened his eyes and Taeyong gasped. My studio had been destroyed. My hand covered my mouth my heart beating out of my chest. I couldn’t conceal the sobs no matter how hard I tried. The pain I felt in my chest felt like I had been stabbed repeatedly. What did I do to deserve this? I know I am not perfect but why was I being punished?

My piano was crushed pieces of my records sticking outside the top. Keys from the piano lay on the floor next to many song pages from many books I own, most ripped into millions of pieces. My awards broke and were thrown across the room. My microphone and recorder were broken and laid across the floor. My guitars were impaired, bent, and broken, and next to them laid my damaged albums that received from friends over the years. Even awards I had with my former members were dismantled and thrown around in the ground. Everything I loved lived and grew in this room. All my old songs and my new songs that the world hadn’t even heard yet were gone. The pictures I had on my wall their frames smashed and the photos were ripped in too. I had nothing. I had lost everything and all I could do was sit on my now eradicate studio floor and cry. A few days later. I sat by the window of my former member Kim Yeri’s home. Looking outside as the rain poured I held a warm mug close to me and a blanket covering me from the waist down.

For days people in the media had been talking about me and my apartment. Pictures leaked of Taeyong walking towards my apartment and soon pictures of him leaving. While most people wished for my safety there will still be some who have wished the intruder had succeeded in killing me.

Taeyong had however denied the rumors himself restating that I was just a friend and he wanted to make sure I was okay. The media seemed to take his word finally putting an end to our “Dating Scandal”. I let my chin fall into my hand. How stupid. A dating scandal. Why can’t I just make music and be free to date who I want? Don’t people realize that music sounds better when I have some sort of experience to relate to? Falling in love and getting hurt. Most people can relate to that. I thought people wanted to be my friend. Turns out they just want to control me.

Yeri sat across from me grabbing a blanket and holding a warm cup of tea. She looked over in my direction watching me as I watched the rain fall on the grass of her backyard. “How are you feeling?” She asked. I turned my focus onto her. “I’ve been better,” I say sipping my tea. She smiled at me endearingly. “What?” I asked wiping my face. “Are there cookie crumbs on my face I ate some before” she chuckled softly kicking me. “No stupid,” she said causing me to chuckle too. I needed that. She sipped her tea watching as I did the same.

“You’re so brave. I don’t think I could ever do what you did” she said. I shook my head. “What hit someone with a bat?” I waved my hand. “I just did that in the spur of the moment. I wasn’t even thinking straight” I said waving it off. That was the past now and I had to move on from it.

“I mean you may have not been thinking about yourself but you were thinking about him,” she said. I raised a brow scoffing looking away towards her garden. “Who Taeyong? I mean, of course, I hit her with the bat to save him. I didn’t want him to die” I said avoiding my true feelings. I don’t need her to be right just for her to rub it in like she always does. She rolled her eyes. “Sureeee” she teased.

“You know I’m not going to say it. Since we were trainees all you do is tease me every time you know something I don’t or when you are right. I know you love being right but now is not the time Yeri” I say causing her to laugh. She sips her tea fixing the way she sat in front of the window. “You know me so well” she teased again. I rolled my eyes looking away from her and back at the flowers.

“Has he called you?” She asked this time being serious. I shook my head. “No, and I don’t think he will. He’s trying to protect me. That’s what he told me before he left” I said tapping my finger on my mug. She nodded. “I guess that’s sweet” she shrugged.

“Yeri” I called.

“Yes?” She asked.

“What was it like for you? When everyone found out about you and Jeong Ho?” I asked hoping her story will help heal the aching in my body and heart.

She sighed leaning over to place her mug on a nearby lamp table. Once she placed the mug down she made herself comfortable again bringing the blanket back up to cover her legs. “Well for starters it wasn’t easy. You remember what happened. The fans left us, because of me. They stopped supporting us, they gave up on us. They didn’t love us anymore and why? Because I and Jeongho fell in love” She shook her head.

“What me and Jeongho have is real and at the time it was still real. It was so real that I gave up my life for him. I had always wanted to be a singer and I still do sing, but you know I always dreamed of having a family one day. Jeongho could give me that, he did give me that. Now I have one beautiful child and another one on the way. I didn’t just give music up because of Jeongho. I choose to be with Jeongho because it was my choice. It’s my life and I get to decide when I stop singing. When I stop performing. I get to decide who comes into my life and how long they stay. I decide the person I want to be and the story I want to tell. No one should tell you who you are and what you should be doing. Y/n if you love Taeyong then be with him. Make the music you like and that you’re proud of you. And those who listen will listen and those who will refuse to support you well they can leave. You have talent Y/n, but just because you’re good at something doesn’t mean you should live for it. You deserve to be happy just like everyone else” She paused for a moment taking my hand in hers.

“So I guess that begs the question, what are you gonna do? What are you gonna do with you’re life? Are you going to hide in the shadows safe but miserable and alone or are you gonna fly high risky but un regrettable and free?” She kept her eyes locked with mine and determined to look into her eyes. I stared back into hers with the same look in mine. I know exactly what I have to do. I stood up letting go of her hand.

“Be careful,” she warned. “Once you do this there’s no turning back” I sighed, “It’s worth it. If they can’t love me at my worst then how do I know they love me at my best” I said before I walked out, putting on my shoes and heading straight to my company.

—-

“Y/n I don’t understand. You don’t want to resign? I thought you liked working with us?” My boss said to me shocked by the drop-by I made and the current news. “I think it would be best if I didn’t resign,” I said again sternly. He wasn’t going to change my mind. “But Y/n,” he came around his desk standing in front of me. “We can take care of you here. We can give you anything you need. Do you want more money? It’s yours!” He said trying to persuade me. I shook my head. “My answer is no. I don’t need you to take care of me. Besides, many other companies want me, I don’t need your money” I said grabbing my purse and walking out the company door. My manager followed behind me handing in his letter of resignation. He had planned to stick beside me, especially after everything that happened with my apartment. Walking outside all the employees watched as I left the entertainment company. As we walked outside news trucks parked in front of the tall building. News anchors leaped out of their vehicles dying to catch on me on camera since this was my first public sighting in a while regarding my old home.

“Y/n! Y/n!” They shouted my name holding microphones and running towards me.

“Y/n any news regarding you’re Gangnam home?”

“Y/n please look here!” Even the paparazzi arrived.

“Y/n tell us where are things with you and Taeyong? Are you dating?

Did you break up?” A news reporter asked.

“Y/n tell us where are you staying now?” Another asked.

“Y/n there are rumors you are leaving you’re company is that true?”

I nodded. “I am refusing to resign yes,” I said. The news reporters gathered around even more seeing that I had responded to one out of a thousand questions. My new security team started to surround me making sure I was safe from the forming crowd around me. I tried to walk through all the people keeping my sunglasses on and close to my face. More people including curious predestines came to see exactly what was happening. “Y/n why did you resign?!” The news reporters continued to shout over each other.

“Stop for a moment,” I told my manager. He widened his eyes. “Are you sure? It’s too dangerous we have to keep going. The car isn’t far from us” he said concerned. I shook my head touching his shoulder. “This will only be a moment” he bit his lip looking over at the guards. “Make sure no one puts their hands on her, you understand?” They nodded making sure the news camera could see me but the people still couldn’t touch me.

“Y/n please tell us why did you resign,” the news reporter asked holding a microphone to me. “Is this live?” I asked pointing to the large camera in front of us. The man nodded still holding the mic up to me. I took it from his hands thanking him. He look confused glancing at his cameraman and then back at me. “Um I’m supposed to, “ he said I shook my head. “Not right now you’ve done enough,” I said before picking up the mic to my lips. “Hello everyone my name is Y/L Y/N. Now I don’t know whose watching, frankly it doesn’t even matter if one person is watching” I looked over at my manager who gave me a thumbs up. He let out a shaky breath nodding his head reminding me that everything would be okay. Turning back to the camera I swallowed the lump in my throat. “But there’s something I need to say”

Here goes nothing I thought to myself.

“For those who don’t know me, you’re going to get to know me today. For those who do well, you will be reminded of who I am today. I am an idol. A K-pop idol. What does that mean? Well, it means I’m a performer who sings in Korean. I was once part of a K-pop group with five other girls who also sang in Korean. Now I’m a soloist, my group disbanded a couple of years ago. You may be wondering why? It wasn’t because we fought or because we hated each other. We loved each other, we were like a family. It was because we believed we had no choice. A former member of mine Kim Yeri fell in love and ultimately it was her downfall. The fans ripped us apart why?

Because Yeri chose on her own. She chose to be in love than to listen to what others said about her. Now she’s inspired me to do the same thing. For a long time, I was scared of letting everyone down. Paranoid no one would listen to my music or my story because they would hate what I had to say” I paused for a moment. Everyone around me remained silent. The news reporter leaned over to the cameraman motioning with his fingers to keep rolling. I took off my sunglasses squinting my eyes from the sun.

“Now I’ve realized I can’t be afraid anymore. I can’t let fear stop me from doing the things I love. And what is it that I love? Well I love music, I love art, I love the fall, I love my friends and family. I love wearing my hair down, I love eating as much food as I want, I love to put on makeup, I love to box, I hate doing pilates and I hate wearing clothes that don’t fit me and I hate not being able to openly love the man that I love. I hate being perfect in you’re image when no matter how hard I try I can’t achieve it. I am not just someone or something you can tell me what to do and when to do it. I am not a dog that you can order around or control. I am a person and It’s about time you all begin to see me like one. As I person I will make mistakes, I will be afraid, I will cry, I will get angry and I will fall in love. It’s what makes me human just like all of you. So after this, if you wish to no longer support me then that’s fine. I don’t need people who only love me and that were designed to make Me feel special. Those who see me and hear me well I hope you like the real me. Thank you everyone, goodbye” I say walking away. The news reporters continue to follow me to my car. Cameras flashed everywhere around us shouting my name.

“Y/n look over here!”

“Amazing speech!”

“Talk to us. What does this mean for you and Taeyong?”

“Y/n please just look right here!” They continued to shout even when I put my sunglasses back on and my manager opened my car door so that I could sit inside. The door shouted and their howls began muffled. I sighed taking my glasses off. My manager came around the other side of the car and sat opposite me. He shut the car door telling the driver to drive off. Once we drove off and away from the people I let out a breath I didn’t even realize I was holding. My manager took a water bottle from outside his bag handing it to me to drink. I took the cold water from his hands letting it slide down my throat. He watched as I sipped on the water trying not to spill it with my shakey hands. I placed it on the side of the door closing the top. “How did I do?” I asked. He nodded looking puzzled. “I’m sure everything is gonna be okay,” he said. “I’m going to check Twitter,” he said opening his phone.

His eyes widened almost dropping his phone. He let out a gasp causing me to lean over the seatbelt preventing me from moving any further. “What is it?” I frantically asked. “You’re followers, they went down,” he leaned over and showed me the phone. I went from having three million followers to two million followers in minutes. I sighed my heart stinging a little. It hurt people who didn’t want to get to know me. People disliked me and they didn’t even know me. I guess that still makes me human.

“Wait a minute” he began refreshing the page. His eyes widened his glasses slightly falling off his face. He picked them back up the bridge of his nose showing me his phone. “Look” was all he said. This time less enthusiastic I leaned over to look at his phone. However this time I was truly shocked. I took off my glasses watching as each time Mr.Jung refreshed more and more people began to follow me. My followers had dropped to two million and now I was sitting with fifteen million followers. “Mr.Jung, what does this mean?” I asked my heart racing. “It means the people chose you,” he said, “I think it’s time you announce it,” he said pointing to my phone in my hands. I nodded opening up Twitter and tweeting the following.

Y/nforpresident- Hello everyone and new people. Thank you so much for your love and support. If you want to continue to hear me well good news! Tonight I’m dropping an album that will include thirteen songs. It will be available on Apple Music, Spotify, YouTube, SoundCloud, and Amazon Music. And to give you a little spoiler, it’s nothing like you’ve heard/seen me before. My new album is called Controversy. See you at midnight! 😉 I sent my tweet, now we wait. 11:30 pm “You ready?” Yeri asked me. I had invited all my friends to come to my little own watch party in my new house. Most of my family couldn’t make it since they live farther away, but they are still supporting me all waiting for the album to drop to listen and stream it. I nodded my head Yeri stood behind me watching the tv in front of me holding a countdown for my new music video, I stared and directed myself. Thought the rest of the party songs off my album could be heard playing as well as other songs of mine including some from my girl group days.

More of my former members showed up in support telling me that they were finally ready to put music out again. I smiled proud of them all taking each of them in my arms. “Wait let’s take a picture!” My former member Emily said with her Australian accent. All the girls agreed surrounding the window that lead to a beautiful garden I planted once I settled in. We all posed for a group photo each of us posting the picture to our socials. “Awww someone said, “Miss this group, this is a reunion I was waiting for you!” My former member Haewon said. We were all awed taking a couple more photos together.

“Look it’s almost time!” Hoseok shouted. That’s right I’m friends with Bts. Well looked towards the clock on the large tv. Five minutes left until my music video and album would drop for the whole world to hear. I held a red solo cup in my hand watching the countdown from five minutes to four. “Are you excited?” I looked over my shoulder and saw Jaehyun. I nodded letting out a little shiver. “I’m both excited and nervous, is that even possible?” We both chuckled cheering together and taking a drink from our cups. “To controversy” I smiled bringing our cups together “To controversy” we smiled taking a sip of the alcohol.

“He’s here by the way,” Jaehyun said. “He wasn’t sure if he should come up so he’s been waiting outside on you’re porch” I shook my head in disbelief. “Wait he’s just been waiting outside?” He nodded letting out a small chuckle. “Yup. He doesn’t want to ruin the night for you or something like that so he said he’s supporting you in secret where people won’t judge him” I sighed rolling my eyes and handing him my cup. “Can you dump this for me? I’m going to go talk to him” I said holding back a smirk. Jaehyun nodded taking the cup from my hands. “Of course”

I made my way past all the people heading to my front door. From the window, I could see Taeyong sitting on a bench holding his phone in his hands. He was all dressed up like everyone else inside. He looked gorgeous as always and I just wanted to march out there and ruin all his hair and makeup. But I controlled myself, this wasn’t the time. I unlocked my door stepping out causing Taeyong to perk his head up.

“Hi” is all he said standing up to his feet and stuffing his phone in his jean pocket. “I wasn’t sure if I should come in or not. I don’t know if I’m allowed in”

“Why would you be? You’re the reason I’m able to do all of this” I said. “I am?” He said confused. I nodded, “I mean you’re part of the reason yeah. You helped me realize that I didn’t need to keep protecting myself from the world. I just needed to live. You wear part of that living. Living is all about the things you do whether alone or with the people you love. Taeyong,” I walked over to him gesturing my hand for him to take. He hesitatingly took it in his. Once my fingers touched he relaxed taking my hand in his. “Taeyong I love you and I’m not afraid to say it out loud anymore where people can hear. I want people to know about us, but only if you want that too”

His lips sat tightly on his face forming a line. He nodded his head pulling me closer to him. “If it means I can be with you then yes. I’ll follow you anywhere you go, even to the ends of the Earth” he said leaning in to kiss me. We held each other close kissing like we hadn’t seen each other in decades. He smiled into the kiss pulling me closer to him and my hands found their way past his neck and into his silvered locks.

However, our kiss was interrupted by a knock at the door. “I hate to interrupt,” Yeri began. “But it’s time!” She squealed excitedly. We both smiled following behind her, holding each other's hands. “Okay twenty seconds,” I heard Jungwoo say. We walked further inside making our way to the couch. Yeri made some space for me and him to sit and we sat down right in the middle facing the tv. Everyone gathered around waiting for the drop of my new music video.

“Ten seconds!” Joy said causing everyone to begin to count down. “Ten” “Nine” “This is it” Yeri whispered to me. “Eight” “Seven” “You’re gonna do so well” Taeyong whispered to my kissing me below my ear. “I’m so proud of you” he whispered. “Six” “Five” “Four” “Three” “Two” “One!!!” Everyone shouted now becoming quiet as the screen went black and my video What we do in The Shadows began to play.

——-

“Okay, you ready to see?” Taeyong asked still wearing a towel around his waist. My hopes of ruining his hair and makeup came true last night and now he continued to walk around my home in just a towel, such a tease.

I nodded putting my coffee mug down. “Yes I’m ready to see it,” I said Taeyong walked over to me holding an iPad. Leaning over so his wet skin could touch mine I took in a breath controlling myself from just throwing the iPad across the room and having him on the counter. “Yay!” He shouted. “Everyone loves it. That’s a relief I was so scared for you” he said I nodded holding my hand over my chest. “Me too. I thought people would hate it but it turns out people love it!” He nodded proudly smiling big. “Yea all the comments are about you speaking you’re truth and not being afraid to be who you are. It’s inspiring Y/n and you inspire me” he leaned over and kissed me. I pulled him closer causing him to place the iPad on the table turning his body to face me.

"You're not tired?" he teased referring to last night. He smirked bringing his lips closer to mine and kissing me. I smiled shaking my head. He pulled me closer to him by my waist. I giggled his hair tickling my forehead. He smiled lovingly watching the tiny creases in my face form under my eyes and by my lips when I smiled. He moved a piece of hair out of my face keeping me in his arms.

"I'm going to marry you someday. I don't know why I felt like saying that or feeling this way but I just know. Someday you're going to be my wife" he said staring into my eyes. He had such beautiful eyes, they were big and brown and sparkled every time I stared into them. His eyes, his lips, and his body all made me feel at home. I leaned up kissing him, this time less heated. Replacing the passion with a soft embrace instead. The kiss was sweet and light. We weren't rushing it or trying to rip each other's clothes or lack of. We just kissed and it felt nice. Kissing Taeyong in the kitchen on a beautiful sunny Saturday morning felt right. He let go picking me up and placing me on the counter.

He knelt down facing me, lifting my silk nightgown past my knees and up to my waist. My finger found its way to my bottom lip playing with the plumped pink skin as I watched Taeyong pull down my black panties tossing them to the side. He smiled up at me leaning closer between my thighs. He kissed my inner right thigh and then made his way to my left sucking and biting the skin creating a small mark. I sucked in a breath one of my hands supporting my balance on the white counter and the other finding his hair. He smelled me groaning and closing his eyes to savour the smell of me.

"You smell so good, baby. Can I taste you, please?" He pleaded remaining on his knees watching as my wetness dripped out of me and down my leg making its way to the floor. Taeyong let out a low groan, "That was hot baby. Look how wet you are. Do you need Bu? I can help you" He said not even meeting my eyes, he just watched my pussy clench around nothing. He licked his lips silently begging for me to say yes. I nodded my head eagerly, "Yes please" is all I said and all he needed to hear.

He leaped straight into action wasting no time licking a long stripe on my pussy. He wanted to take his time with me. Prove his love to me with his words and his tongue. He spread my folds his tongue abusing my clit after I begged him to go faster. He groaned against my core devouring me and saving every taste on his tongue so he has something to remember when he is alone. "You taste so good baby" He praised his fingers making their way to my hole. He brought his two fingers to my lips, they slipped past my mouth allowing me to suck on them.

He removed his fingers from my mouth bringing them back down to my pussy finding their way back to my hole. They easily slipped inside me, and my hands left his hair to continue to balance myself. "Baby if you want to you can lay down, I'll take care of you" He purred. I shook my head taking my bottom lip between my teeth He continued to pump his fingers inside me. "I want…I want to watch" I moaned. He smirked leaning his head back down to eat my pussy.

"Bu I'm gonna cum" I moaned opening my eyes to see him still pumping his long fingers inside me and his plump lips still eating me. I moan again my head falling back. Taeyong's fingers reached my G-spot bringing me closer to my orgasm. My fingers clenched around him repeatedly. "Baby can I put it in?" he asked watching his fingers disappear inside me. He looked up into my eyes begging me. I nodded not saying a word. I couldn't talk, I couldn't think It just all felt too good.

He slowly pulled his fingers out of me, stood up, and quickly removed the towel. "Should I get a condom?" he asked. I shook my head. "I want to feel you and besides I'm on the pill" he nodded stroking his dick and bringing it up to slide through my folds, using to circle my clit a little. He groaned feeling my wetness mixed with his pre-cum. "Taeyong please," I moaned. He brought his cock down to my wet dripping hole and slowly slid it inside me.

Letting me adjust to him his whole body shuddered feeling me clench and unclench around him. "Baby please if you keep doing that I'll finish too quick" he groaned. "I'm gonna move okay?" I nodded watching his dick start to move in and out of me. He moved slowly at first and I understand he wants to take his time today but he feels too good in me to move at this pace. He can make love to me by fucking me. "Taeyong please move faster" I moaned. He began to pick up his pace moving his hips faster and a lot harder than before snapping his hips into mine. Holding onto my waist he leaned down to my ear.

"I want to make love to you baby. I wanted to savor you and make you feel special because you deserve it" he said softly in my ear. "But I guess my baby wants to be fucked and if that's what makes her feel good then I will do it" He kissed underneath my ear sucking on the skin as his hips continued to snap hard and quick into mine. He laid me down flat on the counter spreading my legs open even more. His fingers found their way to my clit moving the small bundle of nerves in a circle.

My arms leaned to top touch him. Holding his bicep and his shoulders. His arms flexed as he continued to fuck into me his veins on full display. "Bu I'm gonna cum" I moaned. He nodded losing himself inside me. "Cum baby cum for Bu," he said continuing to fuck into me quickly and hard. I came all over his dick soaking it. I could hear him slip in and out of me our juices mixing. His brows furrowed as he focused on meeting his high. I clenched and unclenched around him causing him to let out loud groans and moans. His eyes squeezed shut and his jaw slacked as he chased his orgasm.

"Taeyong be good to me and open your eyes. I want to see how cute you look when you cum" He opened his eyes staring into my mine. My cheeks flushed tinted with a shade of red. My hair stuck to my forehead, my body glistened in sweat. "I wanna be good…good for you" he moaned releasing himself inside me. Once he came he stood inside me for a moment both of us catching our breath.

Eventually, he slipped out of me watching some of his cum slip out of me. He leaned over grabbed some paper towels and cleaned him and myself. He picked his towel back up from the floor taking my head and my nightgown falling back down to cover myself. He guided me to the bathroom by my bedroom. "I'm not done taking care of you," He said opening the bathroom door and closing it behind us.

Later that day.

"Y/n you have been in the news a lot recently. Some people are saying good things and some are saying bad things. How does that make you feel?" the lady asked me holding a microphone in my direction. I stood in front of a podium at a press conference for my the release of my new album, What we do in The Shadows.

I sighed looking over to Yeri and my manager who gave me a thumbs up. Jeongho sat next to her holding their baby in his arms. I smiled at them and they smiled back. Taeyong sat on the other side of Yeri keeping his eyes on me mouthing "You got this". I smiled at him too. I turned back around taking out a breath. I have to be confident. I can do this.

"It makes me feel unsurprised. As an idol my name is always going to be tossed around in the media whether i've done something postive or negative. This is the life I signed up for is what most people have told me which is try, to become an idol was my choice. Was I ready for this "excitement" No" I shook my head. "But," I pointed my index finger up. "I've been in this buisness for a long time. It's going to take a lot to scare or surpise me"

Once I finished answering more people can raised their hands. I picked a man in the front wearing brown.

"Y/n can you tell us where your relationship with Taeyong stands? The people want to know are you too involved romantically?" He said holding his microphone up. A lady part of my staff went up to him ushering him to either ask another question or sit down. I leaned over whispering to her, "It's alright" She looked back unsure of what to do. "Are you sure?" I nodded. She let go of the guy's shoulder allowing him to settle back in his seat. He picked his microphone back up facing it towards me.

"In a perfect world, you wouldn't ask me this question. You would ask me a question about the album or the music video. You'd ask me about my art. Except we don't live in a perfect world and instead, you choose to ask me about my personal relationships. Why? Is my life that interesting to you and everyone watching at home. I don't broadcast my life to the world ever and even if I did what makes you think you have the right to ask me such a question? My relationship with Taeyong is my relationship with him. It's not yours, or hers" I pointed to a random woman in the audience. "And it's not the people at home seeing me now. This information will not make your life better or worse, but I'll tell you this. If you can and this goes for all of you. If you can give me a good reason as to why my business is your business then and only then I will tell you"

The man and the rest of the audience remained silent. Everyone blinked dumb-founded. They all looked around at eachother. Yeri had a smuge look on her face like she wanted to laugh in the faces of all the people in the crowd.

"No response? Well then I guess you have your answer" I smiled at the man who sat back down in his seat quietly.

"Now I will not be taking any further questions unless they are about the album, if not then I will leave" Everyone stood back up yelling and shouting to be picked. Cameras flashed while taking my photos, I was definitely making headlines tonight. I smiled at one of the cameras waving my hand. Turning back to the crowd I called upon a woman wearing black.

"Who inspired your song, What We Do In the Shadows?" she asked holding her mic up.d

The people never learn. I shook my head getting ready to leave.

"Wait! Y/n!" a man wearing yellow called. "Yes?" I asked.

"Okay go ahead" I waved my hand.

"In you're song What We Do In the Shadows there's a line you wrote. The line is "And even if it's over no one would ever know. It's like walking down a dark alley way and know ones you're there. No one can find you or here you. Only the moon knows the stories you tell at night and when the sun comes up that alley way is full with light" he pauses for a moment.

"These lyrics are raw and relatable. Was that you're intent to tell you the truth with this album?" he asked. I smiled.

"That was my intent. I wanted a piece of the real me to show. I thought comparing myself to a dark and scary alley to a peaceful walk way in the morning would show just how good of an actress I can be when it comes to you all. Good eye" I complimented.

"I have a question," I said to him. He nodded, "Yes?"

"How old are you?" I asked. The boy raised a brow confused pulling back his mic and closing his notebook.

"Umm twenty-one" He said unsure of what else to say.

"You're young. I like you keep up the good work" I said walking off the podium. People followed behind me security blocking the reporters away from me. Photographers use this opportunity to snap as many photos as me as I can.

There may be hope for the future of music. I smiled put on my sunglasses walking outside, Yeri and Taeyong not too far behind me.

Fin

I KNOW THIS WAS LONG but I hope you still enjoyed it. I'm sorry this one took so long I just got really busy with family and school, but I took some time today to finish and edit this story. If there are any errors I missed, please don't hesitate to tell me. My computer glitched while trying to save everything, so I had to re-edit and may have missed some spots. I doubled checked and it looks fine but you never know. Anyways I hope you enjoyed it.

Also, I know this story ended on a happy note but this is a work of fiction. This is unfortunately not realistic for any idol in this industry. Now, please be careful about what YOU say to someone. Words hurt and we need to be mindful of what we say to others. Check up on idols, friends, family, etc. Take care of each other and yourself.

[whumpdoyoumean]

Whumptober #8

I'll admit this one isn't exactly what I had pictured or what I wanted it to be, but I'm trying to put less pressure on myself and just enjoy the challenge of posting every day, even if it's something small and a little unpolished (:

xxx i’ve got soul but i’m not a soldier

Jason probably shouldn’t be driving his bike so fast, especially with the new rainfall making the road slick. He doesn’t care, though. Dick is in trouble. Babs hadn’t said much, doesn’t actually know much by the sounds of it, but it’s obviously bad. Bad enough that Roy had called the only for emergencies number. Bad enough that Bruce himself had gone to get him. 

He focuses all of his attention on the road in front of him, knowing that if he starts to let his mind wander even a little then his thoughts will spiral into worst-case-scenarios. The last thing he or Dick or anyone needs right now is for him to spiral. 

He gets to the Batcave in record time, barely comes to a full stop before he’s off his bike and running to the infirmary, his footfall echoing through the cavernous space. Roy is there, standing near the entrance, chewing on his thumbnail. Bruce and Alfred are crowded around the hospital bed and though he can only see his legs, Jason knows that it’s Dick lying there.

“Jason,” Roy says as he approaches, lowering his arm and moving into Jason’s path.

“What happened?” Jason tries to see around Roy, but Roy moves to block his view. Jason glares at him. “Will you get out of my way?”

“Jason,” Roy says again, and Jason gives him a shove, stepping around him, and his stomach twists.

“What the hell are you doing?” He starts forward again, and again Roy steps in front of him, this time putting a firm hand against his chest. 

“You have to let them work,” he says quietly. 

Jason turns to him, his anger building, and part of him wants to fight. “They’re putting a tube down his throat. He should be in a hospital!” He shouts the last part, loud enough that Bruce glances up at him, but only for a moment before turning his attention back to Dick.

“There wasn’t time,” Roy says. “J, there wasn’t time. Alfred knows what he’s doing.”

Jason lets his tense body relax a little, taking a small step back, and forces himself to turn his attention to Roy. “What happened, Roy? What the hell happened?”

“I found him in an alley with an arrow in his shoulder. I was gonna take him back to Olly’s place to get some help but he just…” He takes a deep breath. “He collapsed. Started spasming, I had to call--”

“Wait, he was having a seizure and you brought him here?”

“It wasn’t a seizure.”

Jason looks up at the sound of Bruce’s voice. The man looks a little run down, the worry lines on his forehead and the corners of his eyes more pronounced than usual. 

“The arrow that hit Dick was poisoned. Strychnine. It causes muscle contractions. If they go on long enough, it can lead to hyperthermia, rhabdomyolysis, respiratory failure...Roy did the right thing by bringing him here. We were able to act quickly. We gave him a paralytic to keep his muscles from contracting, fluids to--”

“Is he going to be okay?” Jason interrupts, making no effort to keep the heat from his voice. Bruce takes a deep breath. 

“He’s going to need to be kept under strict observation until the poison is out of his system. And we need to get the arrow out of his shoulder. He’ll have a long recovery ahead of him for an injury like that. But yes, Jason. He’s going to be okay.”

Jason nods. “Good.” 

Now that the adrenaline and the initial panic have worn off, it makes room for other emotions. Namely, his discomfort at being back in this place that holds so many complicated memories. He turns to Roy. 

“Thanks for having his back out there. I should get going.” 

He’s barely made it two steps before Bruce says, “You don’t have to go, Jason.”

The temptation to ignore him, to just march out of there and leave the Batcave and everyone in it, is strong. He and Bruce have made a lot of progress. But there still exists a bitter, cold-hearted boy inside of him that hates Bats and hates this place, that wants to ride away from here and not look back now that he knows Dick isn’t going to die.

Just this once, Jason thinks to that angry, hurt part of himself. We’re not doing it for Bruce. We’re doing it for Dick. 

So he stays.

xxx 

“Hey, J Bird.”

Jason jerks awake. He hadn’t meant to fall asleep, but it’s been a long three days. It turns out waiting around for someone you care about to recover from a near-death experience is as physically exhausting as it is emotional. 

“How do you feel?” Jason asks, sitting up. 

Dick closes his eyes, making a thoughtful face. “Tired,” he says finally, opening his eyes. “And my shoulder hurts.”

“Yeah, that’s what happens when you get your dumb ass shot by a poison arrow.”

“How long have you been here?”

Jason shrugs. 

“How long?” Dick asks. 

“Few days.”

Dick studies his face for a long moment, not saying anything. He looks serious. Jason waits for him to say something, but he doesn’t, so it’s Jason who finally breaks the silence. 

“What?”

“I know that can’t have been easy, that’s all,” Dick says, still staring at Jason with that unwavering, piercing look. 

Jason feels suddenly embarrassed, almost naked under Dick’s gaze, and he scrubs at the back of his neck with one hand. “Oh, come on. It was nothing.”

“It wasn’t nothing. Thanks.”

Jason lifts one corner of his mouth. “Sure, Dickie. You’re welcome.”

xxx end

[pangirlpanic]

🃏 🌡️☃️

EEEEEEEEE I LOVE ANSWERING QUESTIONS ABOUT MY SELFSHIPS HEHEHEHEHE

Since I have more than one F/O, I’m gonna use Itto and Dr. Ratio for these! :3

(Also for the winter ones pretend I don’t live in Florida where it barely gets below 70 lmao)

From this post!

🃏 — if you and your f/o were to be snowed in for several days with no power, what would you two do to keep away boredom?

Itto — Cuddle, mostly. It probably will be cold, and body heat is the best way to keep warm. (wink wink hint hint) I’d probably read to him or braid his hair, if we’re of course talking that I’m not asleep with him the entire time… I’d probably sketch, too. Definitely play some card games. No monopoly, though. It’s banned in my house for a reason.

Dr. Ratio — Also cuddle, but probably with a lot more reading. He reads his books and I read my erotic-dragon-fucker-fantasy shit. I’d also probably just sit on his lap while he grades his students’ papers. I admit I get cold fairly easy, so I’d probably be attached to his hip to keep his warm body next to mine. Just to test out that body warmth theory. For science, of course.

🌡️ — when you or your f/o gets sick, do you take care of each other? what do you do?

Itto — I mean this with all of the love in my heart, he’s a little bit of a whiner. Not because he’s sick, but because he can’t smother me with kisses. He takes the medicine I’ll give him eagerly, so he can get better again and kiss me as much as he wants. He also wraps himself in all of my blankets when he’s cold.

When I’m sick, he’s always on his feet making sure I’m comfortable. “Are you hot?” “Are you cold?” “Do you need anything?” “What can I do?” are questions he asks routinely, and he always makes sure I don’t lift a finger, even if it’s just a cold. He tries to kiss and cuddle me constantly, but I remind him that I don’t want him to get sick. (He will still try)

Dr. Ratio — He is a little stubborn at first, but he gradually warms up to the idea that he might not be able to manage a nasty fever or cough all on his own. He specifically asks for the tea I made him one random time whenever he’s sick, claiming it always makes him feel better. He receives medicine and rests without complaint, since he knows that’s what his body needs to get better.

When I’m sick, he won’t let me leave the bed. Since he is a doctor, he does know what he’s doing when he takes care of me. But is it really necessary to have me nestled in bed and given princess treatment even if it’s a simple cold? Yes, according to him, even if those weren’t his exact words.

☃️ — in the winter time, is there anything fun you two do together? make snowmen, snow angels, bake holiday treats?

Itto — He personally volunteers to be the taste tester for any and everything that I bake. Whether it be gingerbread, sugar cookies, you name it, and he’s the first one to taste it. I also drag him shopping everywhere, not that he minds. He says he’s planning to get back at me ever since I nailed him on the back of his head during a snowball fight. Christmas music is playing almost constantly, it’s my favorite kind of music.

Dr. Ratio — I subject him to Christmas movie marathons upon Christmas movie marathons. I of course make him watch my favorites: Home Alone, The Grinch, The Nightmare Before Christmas (I count it as both a Halloween and Christmas movie), A Charlie Brown Christmas, among others. I also make him help me decorate everything, and get us matching sweaters. Yes I am that person.