#I’m on vacation! Kind of!
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Hell you mean he’s gonna be in THE ACTUAL ISLAND OF ITHACA???
youtube
Captain GET OFF THAT BOAT RN BEFORE POSEIDON GETS HIS RING NOTIF
Also Jorge thank you from the bottom of my heart that you’re not holding at 10 pm so I’m only crying at 11:30 and not 12:30 am
also the entire cast is going? That’s so coo-
……
wait a minute.
THIS MEANS THAT POLITIES, EURYLOCHUS, PERIMEDES, ELPENOR ETC ARE GETTING BACK TO ITHACA AFTER ALL 😭🤍😭🤍😭🤍😭🤍😭🤍😭🤍😭🤍😭
#Sobbing at my own revelation#it might depend on what kind of tech problem fucks up the stream this time#bro is going all out and I’m here for it#ithaca listening party#epic#epic fandom#odyssey#epic the musical#epicthemusical#odysseus#epic musical#epic the musical ithaca saga#odysseus of ithaca#jorge rivera herrans#jorgy gorgy#CAPTAIN#king of the winions#Have a fun vacation captain#you’ve earned it#Youtube#well#WHOS READY TO CRY
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Happy Valentine’s to only them
#Just kidding happy Valentine’s everyone!!#I’m so beyond happy y’all enjoy my Disney style stuff so here’s more!#Not me wishing for something like this#hugo vat7k#varian tangled#varian tts#varigo#varian and the seven kingdoms#varian#varian and the 7 kingdoms#hugo the human#tangled varian#vat7k#My crush is vacating my mind currently ouch#I’m inches away from drawing varigo inspired by my unfortunate crush encounters#Oh well!#They once said “can I tell you what my favorite freckles on your face are?” Shoot#Straight out of a story book what the heck#Ok that’s quite enough from me#Again I’m so completely stricken by y’all’s kindness and wonderful words of support#It truly truly means everything
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🌊Tess with a kind reminder
ALL BODIES ARE BEACH BODIES🌊
#Tess#body posititivity#YIPPPEE#all bodies are beach bodies#a kind reminder going into this summer#you deserve to feel nice‼️#dress how you like fuck everyone else 💥💥#artists on tumblr#art#illustration#finished piece#my art#digital art#my oc art#2024 art#going on vacation and wanted to spread some positivity about body image#but I wanted to finish this before I left#I love Tess so much honestly#I feel bad for not drawing her a lot because I trying to redesign her a bit but I dunnnoooo what she should wear#I’m sorta debating just giving her high raise jeans and a bikini top ngl#SHOUT OUT TO WOMAN‼️#ESPECIALLY TRANS WOMAN#hope everyone has a good summer and feels good about themselves 💥‼️#evil art style challenge
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Almost back home!!! I’ve been away for two weeks and I haven’t had good internet connection. Looking forward to getting back home.
I’ve been quiet cause of it, so how about a shop/merch update!! The products from my shop have already gone through a round of proofs this last week after I placed the order (as some files had gotten mixed up). I’m hoping the products finish their manufacturing and are shipped to me within this next week or so!
I’ve ordered extras of everything to put up in the shop as “in stock” after I send out my preorders, also ordered a few items as samples. They had a higher MOQ (minimum order quantity) so if they turn out well, I’d like to do a giveaway with some of them!
#I know I’ve been kind of quiet in general lately too apologies for that#gonna be honest and life has been pretty rough lately#general TW I reference death below#two incidents happened a few months ago regarding almost losing brother and losing a cousin to horrible situations#and it’s really been very difficult to deal with and has brought on a lot of haze and mental dullness or inability to focus#and tbh even months later it’s still been very difficult#it’s why I’ve probably come across as closed off or absent these last few months#so just explaining that#I’m still overcoming it but I believe I’m doing better now#I have been unable to mentally pull myself together enough to successfully create any content like fics or art#though I’m trying very hard#it is getting easier too. I have written a lot more on vacation than I’ve mana fed to write in a long time#I still love and appreciate PLA and submas so so much that just hasn’t been able to manifest in content creation lately#but it has manifested in buying merch haha#when I get home I may just show my collection#I am still alive in this fandom#if you’ve read this far thank you#and thank you for sticking around while I’ve been quiet!!
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question. if empaths take on the emotions of the person they’re reading and the sencens have incredibly strong abilities where they can feel strong emotions without touch, does that mean keefe and cassius are feeding off each others emotions when they fight? like cassius gets mad so keefe gets mad so cassius gets madder etc.?
#on my how does empathy work grind#this presents such an interesting dynamic#like how do you diffuse a situation where that kind of anger and hurt grows and grows and grows?#(by not being an asshole cough cough cassius)#expect more of these little posts as i’m on vacation and am overcoming my tumblr social anxiety#and ofc rerereading kotlc on the plane#kotlc#keefe sencen
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the boys are packing!!!!!!!
#this is vee speaking#but not packing heat as double barrel may suggest lol#ichiro’s coming too!!!!! ichikuu vacation lol!!!!!!!!#i’m getting nervous and excited lmao lots to do and hopes i get to lol#you know what’s crazy tho lol????? the fact we were promised guest appearances and kr hasn’t said a word about that since#whatever could be happening in this live lol????? got me anxious and hype simultaneously and it’s the best kind tbh lol
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would you all think that continually rescheduling even up to the last minute before an appointment, regularly switching from call to texting even when i’ve said i find texting less helpful because it comes off more brusque, no consistent linear topic directing, constantly directing focus to my day to day life/relationship rather than anything else about me even if i express concern about the rest of it is reason to consider breaking up with a therapist
#i like my therapist but i’m just getting to the point i kind of wonder why i’m paying for it#i don’t feel like anything has really been resolved and i feel like there’s kind of#idk unrealistic expectations of how a man should act when you throw therapy talk at him?#idk#but moreover i just don’t know#i don’t like the constantly being rescheduled#and then also she always says i can ‘reach out to her any time with problems’#and then when i do i get an ‘oh i’m on vacation so i’m not reading that till next week’#or ‘have a crucial conversation’ i KNOW that#i know that’s what i SHOULD do but for various reasons i can’t#maybe a ‘how’ would be helpful which is what i’m looking for#i want to express that i do in fact know my relationship has issues that need to get worked out#but therapy makes me feel like it’s kind of my job to force him to change some things and i can’t#i feel like any attempt to ‘force’ this stuff would just build resentment/contempt and not actually be useful#and again#it’s not being EXPLAINED.#it’s just ‘well hold him accountable’ HOW#i have had this therapist for like 3 years and while I’ve made some progress i don’t really feel like it’s because of therapy per de#i feel like my eating disorder has gotten NO in depth attention whatsoever#like it’s just ‘why do you think you do that’ ‘how do you think you could stop’ wow thanks i could ask that myself (and have)
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I am so fucking burnt out
#personal#I have my first actual vacation in a very long time planned for October#but tbh I might not make it until then#I’m so TIRED#and no it’s not the kind of tired sleep can fix#my emotional core needs some TLC#I’m tired and sad and stressed
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#talks#finally… NO MORE SOCIAL INTERACTION ON THE WEEKENDS#my irl wanted to meet… GIRL WHAT#are you not exhausted from the fuckin holidays??#peace and love… no#obviously cancelled#I’m so tired bruv#also work is fuckin crazy atm since so many people are using their vacation days…#but this is also lowkey hypocritical of me since I might game with others#BUT THE DIFFERENCE IS THAT I WANNA GAME#and I dont/ cant drink at the party#sooooo#vent#kind of#just wanting to get these thoughts out there
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LARKSPUR, CO📍
6-5-25⭐️⛱️
Small photo dump from jellystone park! I have had so much fun here and i’m sad to leave ! This is somewhere I hope we come back to next year.
#photo dump#summer#summer vibes#swimming#waterparks#colorado#🎀#vibes#i’m red as a fucking lobster!#blogging#vacation#sza#kindness#looking for moots#roguesblog
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trying to resist the thing where you feel bad about X and then your brain is like hey why don’t you try feeling bad about Y and Z too while you’re down there in the pit
#I feel kind of bad about work lately and it keeps nagging at me so I know I need to carve out some time to longform journal about it#but I should not do it now because I’m already in a funk and I’ll just make myself feel worse#I also have a bad feeling that the bad feelings are actually @ myself and not about the environment#like I think I’m doing the thing again where I find the level you can coast at and get by#and then I just coast#because (mean brain enters the scene) I am fundamentally lazy and have no work ethic etc#I just think my whole life is like me operating at 60-70% and not really pushing myself to give closer to 90-100%#but agh ok not the day to open that up#it’s also rainy and I think I’m just like#experiencing the perfect storm of sick on vacation + pregnancy hormones + upheaval period at work + dreary winter weather + bad brain
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mornin’
sending my love out to all of u
#I am still suffering but I’m getting better 💕 the good thing is that I know#that even if I don’t feel up to writing for a while#at the very least I’ll be back in November bc my vacation is at the end of October#which means I’ll have time to sleep and recuperate and be happy about things#bc right now my problem is not a lack of motivation or muse but a lack of energy#like I’m just kind of miserable rn bc of irl stuff and also not sleeping much for similar reasons#but when I fix that I’ll be sorted#ooc.
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#this is gonna sound so obnoxious but please stick with me here#it’s been interesting to see my bootstrap believing parents come to terms with the difference between my brother and I#I am so incredibly fortunate/privileged it’s kind of insane#my fiancé is an accountant with a generous family and I’m a lawyer#I think our life is like. the bare minimum of what every human should have just by virtue of being alive#we have decent housing and can afford groceries and modest vacations and have health insurance etc#my family is lower to true middle class depending on the year#and my brother is a broke single grad student in a creative field#but I’m the oldest so my parents will be like ‘well idk why his apartment is so expensive that seems like a poor choice’#and then I tell them what our rent is (and we got a deal because the previous tenants trashed the place)#and they’re like 👀👀👀 pardon#like yeah that’s the housing crisis. idk what to tell you. housing is too expensive#I can’t quite articulate the phenomenon but it’s like me being the prototype of ‘successful’#and then living a modest life fairly similar to my parents when they were my age and decidedly not lawyers is actually clicking for them#like maybe things are actually super broken. and poverty/financial stress has nothing to do with work ethic and everything to do with luck
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job making me feel like highkey insane today. i am biting and gnashing through the bars of my prison. i don’t care that im making money let me outttt
#i’m so exhausted and drained by any people interaction rn#gabriel finally got a diagnosis and it’s. well it’s not good#hodgkin’s lymphoma#he’ll need 6 months of chemo#i’m just barely in touch with reality#like my emergency functional mode is turned on but after necessary things are over i’m just. on that phone#no thoughts#in a bad way#and i know it’s my cptsd + general stress of this stressful life event#but it does not make it much easier to be dissociating constantly#sense of self? gone#like literally i know who n where i am and what’s happening. but the numbness is insane.#my therapist is on vacation until next week#so. 8 days til i can hopefully crack like an egg on her couch and get some of this processing Going#i’ve also got an eye appt next week so new glasses soon… that’ll be exciting#i miss all my friends so much#personal log#kind of a vent
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love going on the “hi yeah I haven’t even looked at my inbox/messages for months sorry sorry sorry it’s nothing personal my life’s just been in shambles and I’m starting to pick it back up even though I know I’m gonna drop all the pieces at least 3 more times before the year’s over” shame tour I’mma make t-shirts later for it
#starlight personal#gonna be actually answering the questions in my inbox#planning to post the notes for tmagr since I’m probs never gonna finish it#and I’m making 0 promises to have any kind of consistent online presence#b/c I’ve learned it’s best for my mental health to delete these apps when I’m approaching crisis mode#so I’ll just be like the fun uncle who shows up to holidays with a six pack of nonalcoholic beer;#chats about whatever#slides you a $20#and disappears for the next 2 years#tbf 2023 was a horrible year okay it was so bad#some of it included; I almost got a grippy sock vacation twice#i tried a few new meds and they all sucked and i went through Literal Drug Withdrawal to the point i was sick for a month and lost 30lbs#i started ketamine treatment and experienced ego death twice!!!! horrifying!!!!!#i got my manager fired#i got my coworker fired#everyone else on the team quit and j was the last one left#my cat died and it was the worst thing that ever happened and it still hurts so bad#the person i thought would be a forever best friend was just. not there for me. and b/c i was struggling and not putting in 150% effort#the friendship just. died. and we live 5 min away from each other yet she’s out of my life forever#it’s for the best but that’s a different kinda grief man#ANYWAY I HAD A TERRIBLE YEAR#2024 is off to a somewhat better start but I’m keeping expectations low#first ketamine appt of the year was. brutal. and tough. and it’s been over a week and I still feel raw#everyone who knows about ketamine: it helps you process emotions and trauma and brings those things to the surface so u can work on them#me when it brings trauma to the surface and makes me feel my feelings: this is HORRIBLE what the FUCK my entire innards are exposed and raw#I forgot how easy it is to babble in the tags like this it doesn’t feel real since I doubt anyone will read all of this lmao#god I’d kill for some weed rn BUT HAHA YEAH ANKTJER SHITTY PART LF 2023 I GOTTA CUT BACK ON WEED#can’t even have one bad coping skill like come on
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#tw mental illness#tw suicide mention ig#i wish there was like a way i could get more help than i already am getting#idk how to describe it#but like i’m not suicidal but i wouldn’t mind not existing even if it’s like a day#i already know that i wouldn’t get admitted to an involuntary 72 hour hold#bc in past experiences trying to get that kind of help#they essentially told me that because i wasn’t actively trying to kill myself they couldn’t help me#they told me i could intensive outpatient#but the problem is i would have to take a leave from work#and i cannot afford that#like health insurance? thats fine#me being able to pay my bills? nope!#i don’t want to try crowd funding because i’ve tried in the past and i’ll get people to share but not a lot of donations#so it’s not like i can even take a week off without fucking myself over#i have a vacation later next month and it’s like during pride in my city and my niall show#and i’m p sure i’m not gonna go to pride this year bc of all this#it’s like in 3 weeks and i don’t know how the fuck am i supposed to be able to handle being around ppl at pride#when i can’t handle being around people at work#idk i’m suffering and i have no choice but to act like everything isn’t falling apart around me#i cant let the mask slip irl!!!!
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