#I’m not talking about people who don’t like her music (bc it’s not their preference) and still thinks she’s cool that’s okay

[sadgirlautumn]

.

[charmedreincarnation]

⭐️ my void sucess story ⭐️

Hi Maya! I entered the void last night using this (https://www.tumblr.com/charmedreincarnation/717982229971730432/fulfillment-x-i-am-technique) and this (https://www.tumblr.com/charmedreincarnation/718301527748608000/shifting-recourses-wposts ) post, so tysm!

I won’t get to into it, but I am living my best life despite all the doubts I had about the void. I always knew it was real but I was scared I would not be able to do it. If you’re someone who struggles with the logic behind this phenomenon I suggest reading that post, and also reading @gorgeouslypink blog. I think both Maya and pink understand and acknowledge that this stuff “isn’t natural” (in a human and logical sense) but also encourage us to both appeal to our logical mind and spiritual one as well. But I kind of do want to breakdown what I did, bc it was always annoying how some anon stories didn’t explain what they did lol.

⭐️I suggest reading one peice of Neville Goddard’s work. You don’t have to of course. You don’t even have to apply loa, but trust me it’s the shortcut to this type of stuff. I really liked at your command, and the power of imagination if you want recommendations.

⭐️read this (https://www.tumblr.com/gorgeouslypink/710749646282227712/doubts )post about doubt by pink. Don’t just read it, understand and internalize it. If you don’t and keep re-reading it until you do.

⭐️use some subliminals if you want.i know people say don’t put methods above you, but ehhh :// I just like to listen to music and it won’t hurt as long as you know you choose if they work or not with your assumption. I really like slade, solar subs kira’s domain (yes the scammer but her subs still work pretty well) and v1per, but use whoever you trust

⭐️find logical reasoning to help you come to terms with the fact it’s real. Pink talks about some on her page, and so does Maya. I used the technique I shared in the first paragraph which reminds me of a lazy sats, and combined that with my subliminal usage and after a week it worked

⭐️shifting methods are your best friend. There are so many great methods so find one that resonates with you. Also the shifting community is very open minded and not limited in any way, which is nice. They’re also starting to talk about logic and the law which is awesome. Again this (https://www.tumblr.com/charmedreincarnation/718301527748608000/shifting-recourses-wposts) post has both resources for the logical and spiritual mind, stuff about the law, methods, and stories.

⭐️stick to 1-2 bloggers who help you feel the most motivated. Most bloggers say the something anyways so it won’t help you that if you read 100 bloggers instead of one. I obviously preferred pink and Maya but choose whoever you want!

Anyways, most importantly I manifested a complete change in my life. Nothing is the same so don’t limit yourself. From the way I look, to where I live, my career, age, love life, wealth, social life, family, friends, nothing is the same. Also I was 30 but I revised my age to 25. I’m just adding this so you know it’s not only kids dabbling in this special amazing ability! I also had very hard circumstances, ranging from poverty, assault, and depression. Most people in the world struggle, no one is struggling alone. Don’t let that victim mentality stop you from living your best life.

I know I say the same thing every time, but I’m genuinely happy and proud of you! Thank you for sharing all your amazing tips and recourses, and I hope you continue to always live your best life and it only gets better!

[steddieunderdogfics]

Today is all about @verdantcactus! In today’s Mod Spotlight, we’re highlighting Shane and all they bring to this space!!

Shane is the mod behind our Writer's Spotlights! Each week, she reaches out to authors, creates the recs, and coordinates the schedule! She also handles the questions and getting everything queued up to share with you.

Shane (She/They) has been in fandom for over 20 years and currently splits time between bandom and the Stranger Things fandom (with a strong Steddie focus). She doesn’t publish fic at the moment (but always has things vaguely in progress and at various stages of completion). Instead, she spends all of her time reading at least 100k words of fic a week on average (but frequently more honestly). She is fairly new at participating in the Stranger Things fandom and modding for Steddie Underdog Fics is her first step at participating more!

Shane has been a delight to have on the team! The spark they've shared with us has renewed the energy behind the scenes, inspiring all of us to come up with new ideas! It's been a pleasure to get to work with them. - @oh-stars

As a part of our mod spotlight, Shane answered some questions from you all and our team! You can read them below.

Be sure to stay tuned for more recs and future mod spotlights in the future!

What drew you to Steddie?

Watching their interactions in gifs to be honest. Their energy transcended needing audio for me I guess, I was just so sold. I really like the dynamic of the jock that fell from grace and the kinda awkward nerd. The fact that Eddie is into music and is kind of a wet and pathetic mess throughout the show is just icing on the cake for me. I find that I really get into ships where one of the characters is putting on a facade so to speak about who they are for the public and then in fic you get to see the takedown of that and realize who the character really is. Steddie fics seem to have a TON of that, because Steve is the popular jock who seems to be very bad at being popular and Eddie is the metalhead nerd who isn’t actually as tough as he projects and I will eat that up over and over and over.

What is your favorite thing about modding this page?

Seeing author reactions for sure! I thought coming into it that my favorite part would be seeing fics that are recced and adding to my own rec list, but honestly it’s seeing people be happy.

What are your favorite tropes to read?

SO MANY. Happy ending required but the ones I come to most often are Hurt/Comfort bc I like a little angst to drive a story forward I think. I also have been reading a lot of Fake Dating and weirdly enough Sports AU’s recently? Which is only funny bc I do not do sports IRL at all. I truly do not even know which sports go to which seasons of the year other than football and that is only because I worked retail and saw superbowl displays every year. A sports AU though? Eat that shit up.

What’s your guilty pleasure trope?

Ooooooh I don’t know that I really have a guilty pleasure trope to be honest! I will read most any trope, and also tell you about it if you ask and keep my AO3 bookmarks public too so it’s just… all out there to see if you look haha. I maybe talk less about reading like monsterfucker stuff or A/B/O stuff but that’s less bc it’s a guilty pleasure and more I have less people to rec those fics to haha. Basically cringe is dead and I’m happy that way! (:

What is your preferred way to read and find fics?

Always rec lists! I love to know that someone else was passionate enough about the fic to rec it going in. I follow a lot of people in fandom, and always make sure to follow people who post rec lists and I pillage those like it's my job for things to read. Very rarely if I want a SUPER specific trope, I will go to AO3 and filter to find a fic, but I have to really have a super specific craving for that. As for reading, I have kind of built reading fic into my daily routine. I wake up every morning and read specifically fic for at least an hour before I get up and feed my cat and get ready for the day. If I skip it because I overslept or something it feels like my whole day is off.

What makes a fic an instant yes for you to read?

A real good and unique premise! If the fic sounds like it is going to be a good time, I want to inhale it instantly.

Anonymous - Is there any older or lesser-known Steddie event from the past few years that you particularly love (if ongoing or recurring) or loved? Did you participate in any?

I really love the @subeddieweek event that happened this past summer, bc I think those fics are less common in the fandom and they were all great. I read through that event posting extensively. As for participating in events I actually haven’t. I write a little bit, but my problem is that I NEVER FINISH ANYTHING so I feel irresponsible joining an event knowing that my likelihood of finishing is so low…. I always say I want to join with the intent of finishing a WIP but either miss the sign up period or feel like I don’t have a solid enough draft to join with. Basically I and my anxiety are my own worst enemy. Maybe someday though!

@sidekick-hero - What makes a fanfic stand out for you?

I will read very nearly anything as long as it has a happy ending, but if someone has a snappy summary that is like an excerpt of the fic and then “OR Steve has X job and Y happens! The fic!” or whatever I will tend to be like hell yeah I wanna read that idea, you’ve sold me! And tend to move things up the endless TBR

@worldswcollide - What advice would you give to someone who is interested in becoming a mod in the future?

I think primarily just getting up the nerve to volunteer to do it! Fandom really is driven by the people in it, and cool things can only exist because people volunteer for them. Other than that once you start the best advice is to create some kinda routine around checking things which will help you with communicating effectively and getting things done. For me, I use a lot of phone alarms and reminders in the Finch app to make sure tasks get done when they need to lol.

Anonymous - Do you participate in any other fannish activities, like making playlists, gif edits, fanart, podcasts, Pinterest boards, etc?

Not much honestly! I wish I was more creative in those ways, but honestly I MOSTLY read. I write a tiny bit but never post anything bc I get nervous. I do bind fics into books sometimes and do it a lot for friends, but I don't really share them online. It’s just a quiet little hobby for me that makes birthday gifts for fandom people really easy.

@sidekick-hero - What motivates you to mod for steddieunderdogfics?

I really believe in the idea behind the blog. Author’s are so important and engagement really drives authors. I think it’s sad that so many really great fics get a little buried just because of the nature of the fast past of this fandom so to be able to shine a light on fics is just really great to me!

@worldswcollide -  Are there skills you’ve learned as a mod that have helped you in your everyday life?

Honestly? Formatting google sheets is the legit answer hahaha. I have been keeping track of fics I read on a massive google spreadsheet since like 2020 (because I love to reread fics and nothing bothers me more than being unable to find this one random fic that I remember a single scene from or just the vibe of) and when I became a mod I saw that big spreadsheet we have of all the recc’d fics and was like wait we can do dropdowns in google sheets?? Life changing. Currently I am in the process of sloooooowly redoing my own tracking sheet.

Anonymous - Have you had a particular favorite Challenge Monday or weekend theme so far (maybe because of the theme, the recs, or the engagement, or for some other reason)?

Oooh one that I was really excited for was the Prominent Pets challenge, that was one that I had suggested as a challenge bc I read Looks like we're in for nasty weather by prufrocks and loved Steve hanging out with Bruce so much I was like yes I want a hundred more fics with one of them hanging out with pets. And all the fics from that challenge I have either read or they are on my TBR waiting to be read now haha. I also am really excited for RomCom au’s coming up in Sept bc they are my fave to read, they are just so fun and that was a challenge I recommended!

@sidekick-hero - What do you like best about fandom?

My favorite part about fandom has always been reading fic. I CONSUME fic like nobody's business and honestly if a fandom doesn’t have fun and engaging fic for it, I probably will not stay active in that fandom for very long even if I LOVE the media property.

@worldswcollide - If you absolutely HAD to choose—enemies to lovers or friends to lovers? (At least when it comes to Steddie)

Oooh Friends to lovers every time. Enemies to lovers can be great, and I certainly read a ton of it! But also I love that kind of awkward shifting from becoming friends and really getting to know a person and then it's like oh shit actually I feel really intense about that person?? I will eat that up every single time.

Anonymous - Was there a specific moment or fandom interaction or show event that drew you into the ST fandom?

Really it was seeing all of the gifs on tumblr of Eddie. I had been meaning to watch Stranger Things for YEARS because my friend was like “this show is made for you” knowing that I love horror tv shows with really good cast dynamics but I hadn’t made the jump bc as soon as you tell me to watch something….. I suddenly am unable to watch it! Until I saw gif makers getting to work during volume 1 of season 4 and I was like look at this guy, I am obsessed. And then I was like “I want to read fic about this guy” and then I binged all of Stranger Things in like 2-3 days whoops. And now here I am probably forever!

@sidekick-hero - What makes you happy about modding?

A bunch of different things! I like working with both of my fellow mods on this project that I think is really important in a fandom with so many active events. It’s so great to see all the notes on posts for authors seeing their fics get recommended. I also get to reach out to authors for the Writer’s Wednesday spotlights as it is the area of modding I spend most of my time on and so I get to talk to everyone who has been nominated and they are always so happy to see someone nominated them! (so please always nominate your fave authors! It makes their day all the time! (: )

@worldswcollide - What gave you the last little shove you needed to become a mod for this fandom?

In general I am such a shy person that I never really put myself out there in any way. BUT at the same time I am always trying to push myself further because I long for fandom friends despite the overwhelming shyness. So when I saw the call for more mods I thought I should prob try it because it seemed like a kind of small scale way to start to be more active in fandom since you are only working with a few people at a time! It’s less overwhelming than a massive discord server to me.

Anonymous - Do you feel like your participation in bandom bleeds over into your engagement with ST fandom? For instance, being drawn to fics with a focus on band/rockstar/musician themes, or some other example you'd be comfortable highlighting?

Oooh this is a really good question actually. I think yes, but not always in ways you expect? Like it mostly gave me a love for really really niche au’s hahaha. I LOVE a niche weird job kind of au, like give me all of the Steve is a park ranger AU’s. I will say though that I also have likeeee 13k of a fic written where Steve goes on tour with Corroded Coffin as a merch guy and they eat in a lot of diners that I will maybe finish up someday and post and that definitely has bandom energy from watching so many tour diaries over the years.

@sidekick-hero - Reading as much as you do (WOW!): When does a fanfic stay on your mind even after finishing it? (I would love to hear about the last one that did stay with you)

I think most commonly fics stay with me when there’s some detail that’s like really unique or specific to that fic (like I read so many post season 4 fics they have to do something really new for me to remember like ‘OH THAT FIC RIGHT’ off the top of my head.) or they have to have some vivid character details that made me really really obsessed with the fic. I do remember a shocking amount of fics considering the sheer volume of what I read though so it’s not like I just read and instantly forget haha. Some ones that I’ve read recently that are still kicking around in my head are: better by you, better than me by palmviolet which I read while it was posting so that fic lives rent free in my head forever now as thee fic where Eddie was there from the beginning and the level of historical and musical detail in that fic is beautiful, Of Paper Stars And Pudding Cups by SameShipDifferentFont which I read slowly over a week because I was busy but as soon as I started it I was like “oh I wanna INHALE this” bc I was obsessed with Steve and Eddie’s interactions in it, and blinking red light by cuips_not_cute which is my current in progress fic that I’ve been on my edge of my seat waiting for every chapter update bc I want to see them actually COMMUNICATE someday bc that tension makes me feral.

Anonymous - What kind of fic formats do you prefer: longfic, one-shots, short chapters, long chapters, series-as-chapters, etc? Do you find that you read faster or slower with particular formats?

So I will read mostly anything that’s at least 1000 words (anything shorter and my brain doesn’t QUITE kick into focus mode for me to even have a thought about what I read). Preference wise though I LOVE LOVE LOVE a mega long fic. On weekends when I don’t have a lot of commitments I will love to pick like a massive 200-300k or longer fic and just INHALE it for the entire weekend till I’m like “wow I wonder why I have a headache? -said in the tone of someone who has been staring at a screen in the dark for the past 13 hours-” As for formats.. I tend to read best and fastest when I send fics to my kindle. That little device is a fic machine for me and I love it dearly. A very common sight is me cooking or doing dishes in my apartment with the kindle propped in a cabinet or something. But I will sometimes randomly just swap formats for a week and read exclusively on my phone or on a tablet or print something out and be carrying around sheets so really I am a mood reader that way!

@sidekick-hero - How can we make participating in the steddie fandom even more fun for you?

Always feel free to reach out to me on tumblr (@verdantcactus)! I read so much and always want to talk about fics I’ve read. So if you ever want to just chat about fics or even have some kind of specific recs you wish someone could give you.. My inbox and messages are always open (:

Today, all of our recs are from @verdantcactus specifically! You can always see their recs on our Fic Fridays by checking our #mod shane rec tag.

[reasoncourt]

if anyone is wondering why i care about taylor swift discourse it’s genuinely just because i think people lose their point in their hate for her. and they lose perspective.

like she’s actually not the most evil woman in the world. she gives her workers insurance (bare minimum) and good bonuses (she’s mega rich so also bare minimum) and she buys carbon credits (bare minimum but also opens an interesting convo - i.e. how much should we value carbon credits?). she doesn’t use her voice enough imo but she also doesn’t speak out of turn (i.e. she doesn’t pretend to be well-versed and authoritative on topics she has no knowledge in (arguably she should educate herself on certain topics but tbh i’m inclined to view it as a positive that she doesn’t introduce global political issues beyond “trump bad” to her crazy af fan base… like she could do more but i also don’t have much faith in her politics cause she’s so so so out of touch so i prefer the silence)).

an important note here is that i do think she’s absolutely fucked for not condemning the genocide of palestinian people (especially when she’s supposedly close friends with the hadids who are outspoken on the issue and would greatly benefit from her public support (obv she shouldn’t just speak out bc it affects her personal friends but the fact that she isn’t speaking out when she has personal friends is honestly bizarre to me)).

but she's not unique for any of this. she does more than most of her peers and also way less than she should. that's all i see.

and yet ultimately it’s like - people side with kanye when he put a naked wax figure of her in his music video without her consent when she was 25. that situation was obviously misogynistic but people hate her so they largely glossed over it and decided she deserved it for "lying"about a phone call she didn't lie about. people also seem to think it’s funny that football bros are making ai porn of her (arguing she “deserves” it) despite that line of thinking obviously being detrimental to all women and especially those who are so much more vulnerable than her. people got angry at her for donating $250,000 to help with kesha’s legal fees in her case against ‘Dr. Luke’ because they considered it a publicity stunt even though taylor swift wasn’t the one to make that donation public. people called her performative for taking a man to court for sexually assaulting her and only asking for $1. and obviously they would’ve criticised her for asking for more.

the thing that really aggravates me is that there is so so so so so much to criticise her for. but it’s so so so so so obvious that a lot of people just hate her and don’t actually have any legit problem with the things they say they have a problem with. their favs could do the exact same thing and they won’t find any issue with it. cause they just really hate taylor swift and won’t step back a bit in order to just critically think about what their principles are and how those principles apply to this situation with taylor swift and whether they’re actually consistent with those principles and will apply them to someone other than taylor swift.

there are such valid points and important discussions i see being completely missed because the complaint is about Taylor swift and people seem to be incapable of thinking beyond the fact that they just, first and foremost, hate her

and let it be said that this is not a taylor swift defence post. i could not give a single shit about her specifically. i do find her music fun and nostalgic but i also think it deserves more criticism than it gets (but that’s not what this post is about). it’s just that she’s one of the most talked about people in pop culture and i feel like legitimate and productive discourse is rlly hindered by people’s disproportionate focus on her

[j0jorocity]

THE CHRONICALLY ONLINE ROME FAN’S BLOG

HELLO! WELCOME TO MY LITTLE CORNER OF THE INTERNET!

I’m Iosephus! Here’s some stuff you should know about me before deciding to interact (byi list):

I AM UNDER 18! Under 12 and over 28 I would prefer not to interact with (unless I know you otherwise I really don’t care)

I use she/her pronouns and feminine terms but I guess I don’t mind masc and neutral pronouns and terms (link to my pronouns page which has some of my other links)

I’m Hispanic (🇨🇺🇵🇪 RAHHHH) and I can speak English and Spanish just fine, though my Spanish isn’t the best 😞

APH ROME aND THE ANCIENTS HAVE MY HEART!!!!!

Sonic is my main hyperfixation as of now but I also like Hetalia (really just APH Rome) and C*untryhumans (and some others). Please don’t block me I SWEAR IM COOL I LITERALLY DONT INTERACT WITH THE FANDOM AT ALL

IF WE’RE CLOSE I WILL USE MILDLY SEXUAL HUMOUR AND KMS JOKES (never kys). IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH WHAT I SAY PLEASE LET ME KNOW

I tend to be very straightforward with people who suddenly dm me, but I promise I’m not trying to be mean! :(

NOW, FOR SOME OF MY INTERESTS, FAVOURITE CHARACTERS AND ETC!

(In order from most hyperfixed to least, will also include my fave characters from each fandom and other thoughts)

HETALIA

Rome and literally all the ancients. I’m sorry I don’t care for the main cast but I like PruHun too

C*UNTRYHUMANS

IM SORRY OK IVE BEEN IN THIS FANDOM FOR FOUR YEARS I CAN’T

Anyways I like ch America but only in my head. Please don’t block me please please please I want friends

COOKIE RUN KINGDOM

I started playing around Pumpkin Pie’s banner and then quit for like two years. Picked it back up during wind archer’s banner and I’m OBSESSED

I can’t choose my absolute favourite but I show more love towards dark cacao, latte and almond (as a ship mostly), advenberry, financier (my WIFE!!!), burning spice (recently developed a new obsession w him). Characters I wouldn’t call my favourites but I think are super cool are cream ferret, mystic flour, wind archer, smoked cheese, golden cheese, pure vanilla, lilac, dark choco, and peach blossom!! I don’t play Ovenbreak but I’d love to learn more abt fire spirit, millennial tree, and yogurt cream…… user is sanestaphromefan on dark cacao server

SONIC

TBH. I got into sonic bc of the movies. Now I think about it every single day as I write this I’m trying not to have a mental breakdown over gay hedgehogs

METAL SONIC HAS MY HEART AGHHHHHHH I THINK ABOUT HIM A NORMAL AMOUNT I SWEAR. I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM!!!!!! Besides metal, I love team sonic, team chaotix and shadow 🥺 my sonic otps r metamy, metonic (in a toxic one sided yaoi way), sonadow, stobotnik, and Espilver!!!!

CARMEN SANDIEGO (2019)

I love Devineaux HE’S MY HUSBAND. I LOVE THAT PATHETIC FRENCH MAN. I LOVE HIM AGCJWGDJAHCD

Team Carmen and Devineaux+Julia my goats…

Less intense interests (that I might repost but not talk about) include:

Inside Job

Wild Kratts

Spy x Family

JJK

JJBA

Epic: The Musical

This list may change

IF YOU CAN’T TELL I LOVE TALKING. BUT THERE’S SOME PEOPLE THAT LIKE CERTAIN THINGS THAT I DON’T WANT TO TALK TO!

My DNI list:

General criteria

BIGOTS. HOMOPHOBES, TRANSPHOBES, RACISTS, MISOGYNISTS, TRUMP SUPPORTERS, ETC, DNI.

PROSHIPPERS AND JUST PPL WHO LIKE PROBLEMATIC SHIT I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH 😭😭😭😭

(This includes, but not limited to: USUK, Itacest, Germancest, SPAMANO, CANAME/FRANADA/CANUK, SovReich, AND BURNINGCHEESE/SHADOWVANILLA/MYSTICCACAO, ANY BEAST X ANCIENT SHIPS. To be completely honest I GUESS I can talk with proshitters BUT DON’T FUCKING BRING THIS SHIT UP AROUND ME I HATE IT SO MUCH I DONT WANT TO HEAR PEOPLE DEFEND THESE SHIPS)

People who use brainrot humour 24/7 and are generally just annoying. Get a life.

PEOPLE WHO DON’T RESPECT OTHERS OPINION, KEYBOARD WARRIORS, ETC.

Artists who twinkify Poland more than he is 😭

If you don’t seem to care abt our conversations and instantly try to move onto a new topic every time we speak. Super annoying in general and it affects me a lot

May add more to this later since I’m forgetting a few things

YAY! You’ve almost made it through my intro post! Here’s just a last few tidbits about myself and then I can shut up 🫶

I HAVE A BAJILLION ANCIENTS HETALIA OCS (like less than 15 💀) AND I LOVE LOVE LOVE TALKING ABOUT THEM PLEASE ASK ME ABT THEM AND I ALSO WOULD LOVE TO HEAR ABT UR ANCIENTLIA OCS IF U HAVE ANY!!!

I have another blog for said ocs, @rometalia ,,, it’s a bit dead rn bc I’ve been busy with school :(

I’m open to all asks!!! But please nothing inappropriate I am a minor AND NO POLITICS 😭😭

I am a BIG shipper. I don’t take them like, super seriously but I will get mad if you bash my ship if it’s not problematic or just to be a hater 😭 I’ll link the rentry to all of my ships and then my ships dni, but yeah I’m just a big fan of fictional yaoi and yuri and everything in between sigh… but I do love my found family tropes

My favourite YouTubers are Uncle Roger, Nick DiGiovanni and Guga. I love food and I kinda wanna become a chef in the future ☺️

Trying to beat the art block allegations day 37273627

MY BESTEST FRIEND IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD IS @fertaine !!!! I LOVE YOU MY POOKIE WOOKIE BEAR!!!!! FERTAINE HATERS DNI DNI DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT APPROACHING ME I AM THEIR NO.1 FAN AND DEFENDER

My gerrome side blog is @j0jorocityisntokay

If you see me reblogging from a proshipper (USUK and Spamano especially in this case), please let me know! I most likely didn’t know they supported these ships.

Almost forgot to mention, but here are my tags!

#jojo reblogs -> self explanatory

#jojo rambles -> me yapping abt general stuff or answering to asks, idk

#jojo’s sonic yap -> can you guess

#aph jojo rambles -> anything related to hetalia, so probably headcanons or whatever lol

#rome posting -> self explanatory

#flippity fart farmland posting tag -> me talking to Fern ☺️

#jojo’s art -> updated once in a blue moon I hate my art

Will add more as I see fit

THAT IS ALL, MY FRIENDS! I HOPE TO HAVE A WONDERFUL TIME ON THIS WEBSITE! 🫶

(The dividers that aren’t red roses belong to @kostevysen )

[vacantgodling]

I can't think of a specific question, but I'd love to hear anything about Godeater ! That wip scratches a very specific itch in my head it's very satisfying <3

hi after 80 years i’m finally answering this teehee 💀

something i haven’t fully talked about is how The Under mirrors The Upper.

like The Sun, The Waning Moon is “guarded” from those who would sneak to snuff out its power. however, the waning moon doesn’t have as much power as the sun, so not many go after it; leaving the “guardians” of the moon more freedom to do as they please.

the guardians of the waning moon are the 6 SINS; some of the first demons to defect from the upper after lucifer. the most powerful of the sins is avarice or “ava” (greed) and i’ve talked about him a bit before (and i love him) but i don’t give the other sins as much attention so let’s talk about them!!

also as a side note the sin gluttony doesn’t exist. why? cuz ava killed him :))))))

anyway tho:

(1) IRE (the SIN of wrath) -> she/her

ire is the resident hot head of the sins and the second shortest, taller than ava by a mere inch. she wears her hair in spiky ponytails, half red, half purple, and while she has a bad attitude she actually avoids cursing and tends to insert nonsense words into her speech when she gets really upset. she loves sweets and cute things but hates when people call her cute. very much a “that’s cute i want to break it” energy. she’s the third strongest of the sins but the most likely to whoop some ass bc of aforementioned anger issues LMAO.

(2) HUBRIS (the SIN of pride) -> he/him

literally the most flamboyant fag on planet earth i’m not even joking. he’s a diva and a model; tall and pretty with long hair and thick lashes. he’s overconfident but also loves to hype other people up, and can be extremely dramatic, his emotions a constant whirlwind. he cares about people very very deeply and always wants to lend a helping hand or ear to those in need. he’s actually the second strongest of the sins but is perhaps the least likely to use his powers. he hates blood and gore but if you really manage to push his buttons (he keeps them secret so it’s less likely) then he’ll tear you (the bitch) apart :3c

(3) PASSION “SION” (the SIN of lust) -> they/them

sion is team parent, the second eldest of the sins (younger than ava by a tad) and always looking after the rest of them as though they were their children. they’re very patient and mature and seem almost conservative in their appearance… though what they get up to in their own time is between themself and their partners lmao. despite being lust, like ava is greed, lust extends to a variety of different things and their thirst for companionship, care or affection runs deeper than only surface level sex. if they want something they want it in every way they can attain it. ava considers the two of them the most alike; very unassuming but carnal in every sense of the word :)

(4) APATHY (the SIN of sloth) -> he/they

the most similar to his calling card of the entire bunch, apa tends to be the most lowkey of the sins. he’s the most likely to stay behind and watch over the waning moon, and while he isn’t always a napper he does prefer a sedentary life. he does hibernate tho i need to figure out when and how, and to compensate stays awake 24/7 without needing sleep when he’s not in hibernation mode. low fi beats, music, and pillows are his jam.

(5): COVET “COVE” (the SIN of envy) -> they/them

cove is the youngest of the sins and has a big inferiority complex in being so young. they don’t have as much power as the other sins, and their childish ways do get the others to look after them quite often and they just want to be wise and powerful already. secretly they do enjoy the attention and enjoy being babied which is something ava and hubris tease them about a lot much to their chagrin, and they usually have a monopoly on sion’s time; the two of them go everywhere together. as they continue to gain exposure to the waning moon’s light hopefully they too will become just as powerful a sin as the rest of them :3

[duskandcobalt]

Hiii, Santa here! Sorry for disappearing, it's been quite a few busy days, but I'm back with my questions hehe

Btw the anon ask about Elain wasn't me, but thank you for using the acotargiftexchange tag anyway because the more I know, the better! ����

Since you've mentioned it in that post, my first question is, Earth magic witchy Elain? Could you elaborate? I'm not sure I've ever heard that one before and now I'm curious 👀

Here's what I already wanted to ask:

1. Since last time I asked this about Elain, now I gotta ask about Azriel to make it fair. What's your favorite thing about him and is there anything you don't like?

2. How are we feeling about Christmas vibes in the fic? Or would you prefer a more everyday kind of vibe? And since we're on the topic of vibes, I was thinking of going with a fluffy fic because, well you know, it's Christmas. But if you'd rather read something else, please let me know 🙏🏻 I'm here to please

3. Is there anything you think you have in common with either Azriel or Elain? Passions, hobbies, personality traits… anything

4. How did you get into the ACOTAR books and fandom?

This time they're all acotar related, I'm sorry 😭 I have so much I'd like to ask but I don't want to flood you with questions, so I'll stop here since there are already so many (but I'll be back soon 😈)

Hope you have a lovely weekend!

-🎅🎅🎅

Hi Santa!! I’m so sorry it’s taken me five years to reply to this but I’m here now 😊

Okay re: earthy/witchy Elain… I am obsessed with the idea of Elain have some sort of witchy powers and working with herbs etc and I think she may also have some sort of power of life if that makes sense? I’m honestly horrible at explaining things but if you want to know what I’m on about, @wingedblooms has incredible theories that they’ve put heaps of time into explaining beautifully!

Onto your questions…

1. My toxic trait is that I loooove a quiet, mysterious man that doesn’t say much and is lowkey terrifying and Azriel ticks all those boxes. They’re like a little puzzle to solve and I love a challenge that has major potential to hurt me …. But!! I love that he really sees and understands people and you can tell that he genuinely cares for the people around him and even though he doesn’t talk much, he’s always listening and learning. One of my favourite things in the world is Azriel’s relationship with Nesta - the way I cried when he gave her the book light for solstice and she hugged him should be studied 😭😭😭 it’s one of my favourite parts of the whole series.

There’s not much I don’t like about him, to be honest - at least nothing that I can think of off the top of my head! I guess regifting the necklace wasn’t his brightest moment but in the words of Lana Del Rey, 🎵you’re just a man… it’s just what you do 🎵

2. I LOVE a fluffy, Christmas vibe!! Azriel canonically loves a holiday, who am I to deny him of a fluffy moment 🎄

3. I have so much in common with them, I think that’s why they’re my faves bc I feel like I know them personally 😭 I looove baking and cooking and I love to do things for people. I love a grandma craft. I don’t think we know much about Azriel in way of hobbies but I’ve decided he loves music and so do I. I am also a big time quiet friend (in real life, idk why I can’t shut up online), listener not talker, and so will dole out advice when necessary a la the spymaster so we’ve got that in common

4. I don’t even know!!! I’m so late to the game, I was a big lit fic girlie (still am) but my friend was reading the first one and I’d seen it all over TikTok and I am SO easily influenced… I picked it up July 8th last year and I’d finished all of ACOTAR and ToG by August 15th 😅 it’s a high I’ve been chasing ever since and it reignited my long lost love for reading so I’ll forever be thankful to it… plus it led me back to writing and this amazing community

I’m sorry I’ve yapped again!! Hope you enjoyed this novel lol

ILY!!!

[obscureashe]

Heylo here! I came here for the valentine special (HELPP)

I’m Joey, he/him pronouns, transgender lithromantic, leo, adhd (self-diagnosed but for a good reason)

PERSONALITY: im a pretty chill and easygoing person, i like to rant about my interests a lot and I’m pretty good achiever im very focused but im also pretty lazy person when i feel burnt out, i prefer to be alone when working but then i would really want to work with others, i don’t talk a lot and im very bad at communicating and I’m scared that Ill say something wrong and get weird looks, im more like a person who has a Ena Shinonome Personality but anyways I also like to make sexual jokes when im completely comfortable when im with a person, at first I am a very Awkward person so I would probably have to get to know the person a little more before I can be myself around them

I have severe anxiety so it’s hard for me to feel like im normal because I feel like people judge me for being me. I’m afraid of what they think about me when they see me or talk to me. I do not like rude people at ALL. I am a very kind person and when someone starts being rude to me I throw hurtful insults that I don’t mean because they made me snap so I don’t know how to control myself afterwards. Also I don’t know how to comfort people. I just don’t know how and I’m afraid I’ll mess up and make them feel worse.

LIKES:

I love the color black a lot. Including with other darker colors. And I do like lighter colors like blue, green, red, yellow, etc, I like romance and dark genre’s, i love reading manga/books and watching stuff too, and I absolutely love music i wouldn’t know what to do with my life if there wasn’t music, i also like theater and musicals, i also love gaming a lot bc I have a lot of games, i like rhythm games the most, i also love lemon demon/neil cicierega in general, i love being with my online/irl friends a lot, i love hotels too and I like eating bread and my favorite animal is a shark, im also a goth/medalhead! and i play the electric guitar everyday

DISLIKES:

negitive mentions of my voice, comparing me to people/saying stuff like "you remind me of ____", also spiders like good god no. i dislike very rude people, hot weather, talking on the phone and I think that’s it.

also im on with pretty much anyone romantically and platonically as well, so just have fun with this request :) thank you!

I honestly love your request ♡ so thanks for sending me one! + you're the first one without a preference too!

For your platonic match up, I'm pairing you with. . .

Gyomei Himejima »

There's nothing wrong you can say to him, and its fine if you're bad at communication or talking. He's fine with silence while you hang out, and he always seems to know what you mean anyway

not an ounce of judgement in his body

like if you don't want to, he'll just talk about anything until you're comfortable, or do the opposite and listen to you if you needed to vent to him

for someone who's 7'2 and intimidating to look at, he's the complete opposite and so understanding

he's always genuine, honest and kind

he doesn't compliment much, so when he does you can be sure he means it, especially your taste and talent in music

he loves listening to you're interests and day by the way. hearing you speak so passionately about the things you love makes him smile

And for your romantic match up, I'm pairing you with. . .

Mitsuri Kanroji »

would also be a great friend first, and she's friendly to everyone

she's honest and very open about how she feels, so there's literally nothing she can hide from you

(if you wanted or worried about what she thought of you she'd tell you, regardless)

she loves everyone. and your preference not to talk is nothing short of p e r f e c t i o n to her. she thinks its adorable beyond belief.

honestly, in a relationship with you she's always giddy and smiling about everything

mitsuri and sexual jokes would have her crying with laughter + red with embarrassment

she compliments everyone in her head, and being her partner isn't an exception

she can't lie either, so every single compliment she gives you she means with her whole heart

adores your art and goth music

gushes at you when you're drawing or playing your electric guitar (she loves western things, and it would be so new and exciting!)

borrowing her romance books

and seeing a musical with her would be such a lovely date idea

she'd ask you out to dinner, either afterwards or for a first date

and she's a great cook! would probably sneak in snacks to you while you were busy or playing games

its never boring with her around either, with her bubbly personality and clumsiness, i'm sure you'd always have something to do

she loves planting little butterfly kisses to the tip of your nose + especially your lips

hugs and hand holding too ♡ (will squish you pretty hard so be warned)

you'll probably hear 'i love you' from her everyday

imagining the two of you dancing together is ♡

there you go! thank you again and i hope you liked your match up! + i think mitsuri would hate spiders too (same), so i'm pretty sure between you and mitsuri, a spider would win

[the1975attheirverybest]

So I read the Buzzfeed article that’s been going around and ngl it’s pretty brutal… as a newer fan, I never listened to podcast so this is the first I’m hearing about the whole… “ghetto gaggers” thing.

Is it real? Was Matty serious? Is there more context/info people aren’t getting? Did he ever elaborate on that? Bc right now I’m kinda… Icked out a bit. Please tell me it’s not as bad as it looks.

- 🔆

So, we had our debate about this a couple of months ago. I’ll summarize and give context and do my best to be impartial.

Synopsis and context:

What happened was, Adam and Nick (the two hosts of the podcast) were talking about visiting London and stuff. Then, Adam said that he was there recently. Visiting with his gf. He even texted Matty to come party with them. Matty said that he has to do a show the next day and doesn’t want to go out, but that they can come round to his house and hang out if they want. So, they did. Adam’s gf brought a bunch of her friends with her, too.

Matty says they ended up talking about music and he put YouTube on his tv and they watched a bunch of stuff. The ladies started dancing and having fun. Eventually, they left. While outside, waiting for their Uber, one of the girls discovered she had forgotten her water bottle. So she ran back inside to get it, and she walked in on Matty touching himself.

That’s the end of the story. Matty laughed and said that “the order of operations as a single man in his 30s is that you have a wank and you go to bed.” And that he just feels bad because it was the girl, olive (that’s her name), she seemed sweet and innocent and it’s kind of embarrassing for him cuz it wasn’t even 30 seconds after they’d left. Like they were all still outside.

That’s when ADAM NOT MATTY said “yeah you were probably watch Ghetto Gaggers jerking off” [for context: ghetto Gaggers is a professional porn site that specializes in “white men on black women”] and Matty just laughed. Nick then said something about how wild it is that you can now watch porn on tv and they moved the conversation towards whether or not it’s better to put it on the big screen. Matty said something about preferring to watch it on his phone. Someone made a joke about how it can even be played on Apple Watch and imagined a guy at yoga trying to do a workout and his watch starts to play porn and stuff. Type dude humor. Whatever.

Fan “analysis”

Everyone took the Ghetto Gaggers thing and ran with it. Some opinions are more valid than other. I present them to your judgement as follows.

When the pod first aired, of course people crucified him for it.

When we discussed it on here someone pointed out that the line “cuming to her lookalikes” is starting to make a lot more sense now.

We discussed whether porn categories like white men x black women is just kink, racial fetishizing, etc. should we be condemning Matty’s taste and behavior, all that stuff.

MY PERSONAL TAKE

it was a disgusting joke. But it was a joke. Cuz Adam is the one who made it, not Matty. Matty stated the facts of what happened. That he started touching himself as soon as his guests left and that he feels like Olive thinks he’s a creep etc. idk if you’re familiar with Adam and Nick’s work but they had a show before this one called “Cum Town” part of it included making up distasteful “jingles” about cumming lmao. Like songs where they replace lyrics with awful sexual jokes. So, this is super on par with Adam’s sense of humor. He probably just said it to be provocative. Like, in his head, he was probably like “what’s the worst thing that Matty could have been jerking off to? Ghetto Gaggers.” NOW, it gets even more fucked up if Adam said that BECAUSE he knew of Matty’s recent split from Twigs and was therefore implying that Matty fetishes black women. But because I was not inside Adam’s head, I don’t know if that’s the case. I don’t know if it was intended to be an insult towards twigs or to simply be something for shock value. Either way, it was a disgusting joke. But it was a joke and I don’t think we should treat it as fact or freak out about Matty’s personal values because of it.

That said….the entire podcast was laced with shit like this so it just kind of came up as one of a million other things that people were upset about. Buzzfeed needs to fuck off.

Hope this helps. Sorry if it doesn’t :(

[seekforwarmth]

hiii, lou! 💜

honestly, i love giving comforting hugs, because most of the time i don't know how to react when someone is having a bad time. i'm really empathetic, but at the same time i easily find solutions for other people's problems. when what they need at the time is just to mourn and calm down. 😓

yes, when the time comes, i would love to see what blogs you have in mind. 👾

oh, i love angst at all. it's just sometimes the pain is too much. but if i'm being honest, i easily lose interest if everything is just fluff or the couple gets together too fast. 🫣

let me guess, you only like louis, harry and one dee? i can't wait to see what songs you have chosen! and i have been always thinking the songs we listen to show what kind of person we are. it's like you get the memo before even talking to someone. that's why i don't usually show people my playlists. 🦄

well, about the astrology, not only one sign makes you who you are, but a lot of different signs working with each other. also, i kinda get this. i usually prefer listening when i don't want to talk about myself. but at the same time i'm like harry when someone asks me questions i don't want to answer. talking about anything else, but not the topic we are currently discussing. 😄

i hope whatever is the reason about you not being allowed to drink coffee is not something serious and you feel better soon! and i love hot chocolate so much. i don't like coffee. i prefer tea, matcha or hot chocolate. 🪁

i think in our next spanish lesson you should teach me how to say "i love chocolate", because i can't live without it. 😋

my questions for the day: how many fics are you planing to post this year? and what keeps you motivated to write? ☔️

hope you have a lovely friday,

- your secret valentine ☺️

hi love!!

i never know how to react either, i just offer if they want to be listened and that’s it. i’ve only comforted my family when we’ve lost someone but that’s as far as i’ve gotten.

(i don’t have any blogs in mind but i’ll look for some.)

ohh i like both i think. i like it when they go through a lot of things to be together but also when it’s just them loving each other since the beginning. i guess it depends on how things are said for me hdkdhd

yes, i only like them 🤭 and before i forget about it, here are ten songs to know me better:

the view from the afternoon - arctic monkeys

music when the lights go out - the libertines

ocean’s deep - born ruffians

hometown - twenty one pilots

beautiful disaster - 311

wait for it - leslie odom jr (hamilton cast)

fireproof - one direction

headline - louis tomlinson

satellite - harry styles

everywhere - niall horan

i think that’s why i prefer listening, so i don’t have to talk abt myself, and bc sometimes i stumble with my words (idk if that’s the right expression lol).

it’s nothing serious, don’t worry! it’s something to do with my brain, i was a bit ill last summer and now it’s just a measure to not get back to that heheh we can share a mug of hot chocolate sometime!

okay, if you want to say “i love chocolate” you can use the pronoun for “i” which is “yo” or you can skip it since the verb already indicates you’re talking in first person. “yo amo el chocolate” or “amo el chocolate”. yo is pronounced like in english, amo = ah-moh, for el it’s like when you say elephant, and chocolate you already know ;)

i’m posting two fics this year. my friends keep me motivated but not in a pressured way but i want to write to make my friends happy, that’s the reason i started writing fics in the first place. since i can’t give my friends gifts for their birthdays (or just because), i decided to write fics for them. currently i’m working with a friend on something and i’m having so much fun but i’m mainly doing it to see her happy. 💗

you know, i originally wanted to ask you your top 5 louis songs and then i linked it to the movies so i mentioned soundtrack lol but i’m still curious if you want to share?

have a nice day!!

[kgbird]

Did I tell y’all that my class did a “superlatives” thing? Like I never had that in high school or college or anything. But sga sent a google form out n asked people to vote stuff for other classmates.

And I was like ok another popularity contest. And I briefly worried that I would be nominated as greasiest, ugliest, weirdest, worst fashion/style, etc.

But they ended up doing one for everybody which whatever. And none of them were hateful so that’s something.

Mine was “most mysterious.” Like ofc I don’t care but I was like just say you don’t know me and let me go home. Its just a less rude way to call me the weirdest.

Other peoples had cute drawings on theirs and what not. I got scribbles and “the payback on yt” and I really don’t think it’s the James brown song. There’s a channel by that name but it is odd and has very few subs. And I srsly cant think of anything I’ve done to any of my classmates like I’ve never been mean to them or done smthn sneaky or literally anything. So I didn’t think that’s what they meant by payback. Also there was a picture of sunglasses and the yt channel uses those same glasses. I haven’t watched the vids but they look odd and maybe true crime which I don’t even like so I really don’t know. Insight welcome.

But anyway I would have preferred to have not gotten anything at all frankly. They didn’t have to include everybody. Just let it be the popularity contest it’s supposed to be. At least I didn’t overtly get called out and ik I’m the only person who remembers it.

Like I know I’m weird and off-putting and awkward in social situations but I mean… whatever idk what I expected

What’s weird is that I know at least two people who put me in for “best music taste” which was super sweet and that’s what I gotta focus on is the people who DO care to know me. But like if two people said that, why did you just… not use that? And instead actually think and work to come up with something to deliberately jab me. And the YouTube channel like idgi.

Kevin got most likely to answer every question correctly and idk why everyone loves him even tho he’s just as awkward as I am. Anyone I’ve talked to abt it says it’s bc he’s a guy. Like literally my therapist was like the hades gif “he’s a GUY!”

Mackenzie got “most likely to work in the ER” which, she hates the ER. But that is what she did for hours and I guess that’s the only thing ppl know abt her. I def think the two of us are on the bottom of the totem pole, but it doesn’t matter really cause it’s no big deal in the grand scheme, and this year I won’t be seeing anyone anyways. Plus there’s not as clearly defined social strata like high school.

Lowkey Mackenzie was trying to get in on my pity party about how no one cares about her either. And on one hand true igi but the other I was like,,, at least they knew SOMETHING about you to say… so let me have this lol.

So it’s whatever idc but I’m afraid that when I finish this rotation and any of my classmates get assigned to the office I’m at now… technically we’re not supposed to talk about each other in the clinical setting but. I have a feeling that one nurse in particular would talk to this theoretical classmate of mine and whoever it is will dump on me or whatever.

And I don’t dislike the nurse he’s just a kid so whatever but he’s also super smart in the same way kevin is. But even the other nurses or the other providers or anything! I KNOW I’ll never hear from them again but I’m scared that they’ll all talk about how weird I am. Or, to a slightly lesser degree, they’ll like my classmate a lot more than they like me and think they’re smarter than me and better w patients and not such a little crybaby. I really try to be nice at word and all that but I literally can’t help being weird like I’ve tried to be normal, but it’s so stressful bc I’m afraid people will see through it.

And I know: so what if people you’ll never see again think you’re weird? What’s the worst that could happen/whats it to you? And idk how to answer that because short of failing the rotation, that feels like the worst thing that could happen. Like if there was something I could actively do to prevent that I would. But like I said when I try, I get extremely stressed and frustrated and overwhelmed and depressed. Idk ig if the yt thing makes any sense to you, lmk.

[madeofsweetness]

Book Talk Continuation @2pretty

I honestly loved reading your thoughts (the analogy to junk food was perfect!) and I agree with everything you said. The most beautiful thing you wrote was, "Our time should be spent in a way that makes us love life, not distracts from us living it." It’s the whole conclusion of the book really! I’ve noticed that many people in our generation are almost against the idea of this. They call everything cringe, make fun of people who are happy, disrespect anyone who doesn’t believe their nonsense, and try to drag others down. This is the problem of social media I guess and I’m sure you’ve talked about it before.

Also let me point out, the quote at page 202 is spot on! When I began to limit my sm usage and do No Social Media Sundays (thanks to you girl!), I felt anew. I now do not wanna spend no more than like 20 minutes on apps like twitter and tumblr cause it feels weird😭 Cultivating a life worth living is the ultimate freeing state to be in and a lot of these apps become extremely wasteful, once you start filling your schedule with higher quality activities. It’s just like Outkast said, you need to get up, get out and get something. Don’t let the days of your life pass by! 

I would love to hear about any habits you have or will do as well! But here are my habits I would like to implement after reading this book: 

Calling people instead of texting. Honestly, the only people I call are my family but when I make more friends, I want them to know, calling is my preferred method of communication. I want to be even more human again and only texting doesn’t allow for that. (Reference to page 145 about irl communication vs digital)

Printing or writing out directions instead of using google maps. I love google maps but I want to be able to have an internal compass, know which street will come after the other and be able to ask people around me for help like my parents do, without feeling so sure that “oh my phone will tell me”.

Only accessing social media on my laptop instead of through the apps. The apps are there to make the process convenient and addicting but I’m planning on using these apps for a sole purpose which means, I can’t keep caring about conveniency!

Only looking up words in my physical dictionary. As a kid, I loved reading my dictionary and encyclopedia but as technology progressed, it became easier to quickly open the next tab and search "what does [blank] mean?" without thinking. I honestly miss the feeling of cracking open a hardcover book and scanning through the words until I finally landed on what I was searching for. Plus I think dictionaries are good for truth/historical purpose, it’s not based in emotion ;) hehe

Buy photo albums again!! I still use disposable cameras so that’s not a problem, but instead of keeping my pics digital, I want to print them out from my phone and keep them safe in a beautiful family album like how my other memories are. I also was totally inspired by my mom bcs I seen her photo book from her teen years and it warmed my heart completely. Memories will always be cherished, even the silly ones. 

Praying 24/7. To talk, to reflect, to ask for guidance, etc. I’m realizing that praying isn’t to be done only when in a [blank] state of mind nor is it to be "perfect". (Direct reference to page 95)

Learning to not just whip out my headphones when I feel awkward. On page 100, I felt sooo called out when he said iPods created this way of living that now enables you to have a musical backdrop for your entire day lol. I love music too much to give it up whenever I’m outside especially since it helps with my emotions, but I do recognize that being plugged in constantly will not want to make people talk to me, and I want to look approachable and friendly!!

I eventually want to start taking 2 hour walks. That’s it.

Months ago, I wished badly to have love letters written about me from my future man haha, but I realized I could write myself love letters! I decided that every year I could write about what this year was about for me. I don’t know if I will still do that or if I’ll just write everything down in my journal and label that as my "love letter" but either way, I’m documenting off of my phone.

Just like when I was a kid, I now always carry a current book im reading, my word finder book and a notebook whenever I leave the house. Only problem is I need a bigger bag haha.

As a (Black) American, I think it’s crucial for me to learn the skills that my grandmother and great grandmother knew, things like sewing, quilting, and cooking without recipes lol, are what I want to know how to do as well. I think it’s a wonderful way to honor them and when I have my own family, I would love to teach my children too. These crafts should not be forgotten, it’s culture.

[lunarticxenia]

Moon Signs Pt. 1

My take on moon signs based off people I know! Now personally, I tend to have more strong opinions on my favorite moon signs than favorite sun signs. I feel like moon signs really indicate more about a person’s personality than their sun sign, imo. It does rule emotions and behavior after all. With sun signs I struggle with picking favorites because I do genuinely have people I like of every zodiac sign. I just go by the number of people I like from each zodiac sign. Anyhoo, here’s my view on each moon sign! 

Note: These are p long bc I have such strong thoughts on moon signs so I’m splitting it into two parts. :) 

🍂 Aries Moon: Ahhh, my moon sign. I won’t be biased though, I promise. So Aries moons based off other people I know is that we low-key got anger issues LMAO. Every single Aries moon I’ve met besides myself has anger issues, with the exception of one person and she still gets irritated easily. Aries Moons are also extremely sensitive, and they tend to be overlooked for that since they’re fire signs. I’ve found that a lot of what they get angry about has to do with their feelings, if they feel they’ve been wronged this really can make them angry as they are super sensitive. They also get angry when they feel like people aren’t listening to them, as they take this very personally. I’ve also noticed that Aries moons are EXTREMELY honest, they will tell it how it is and they are extremely blunt. They don’t like to beat around the bush, and they are very direct with how they feel about something. Aries moons are also extremely passionate and spontaneous especially in relationships; they’re the ones who wanna kiss in the rain and ride horses into the sunset, that is if you can get them to settle down with you LMAO. Nah all jokes, they’re picky about who they want, but once they really fall for someone it’s very hard for them to let go. They’re also so competitive, they will play dirty. My grandpa used to let me win in checkers as a kid, my dad (who’s an Aries moon) NEVER let me win. He said me losing would help build character LMFAO. He just didn’t wanna lose.They also have strong personalities and can be SUPER impulsive. Also, if they wanna do something, they WILL do it. No one is gonna stop them. If they wanna go somewhere at 3am, they’re doing it. Sorry. You can’t stop them. LMAO. Aries moons also love to be in touch with their inner child, my dad is an Aries moon and bought himself an arcade machine out of nowhere LMAO. I also like to collect shells and watch Disney movies to remind me of my childhood. They also tend to change their views and opinions on things a lot, and mind you they have intense emotions about these things. So it can be hard to keep up w them. 

🍂 Taurus Moon: Taurus moons are just so calm, it’s scary LMAO. I know a few of them, and even if they’re anxious about something you can never tell. They always have this calm demeanor and just seem so unbothered by everything. Taurus moons also LOVE money and the finer things in life. The male Taurus moons I know work a lot just so they can have a lot of money. One of them literally said to me “Money talks” after explaining to me why they work 7 days a week, 12 hours a day doing two jobs. The crazy thing is, despite doing all that extra work, he just seemed so unbothered about it LMAO. The female Taurus moons I know tend to love really expensive clothes and dressing up. This Taurus moon I work with has such nice clothes and always dresses like she’s on a Vogue cover. Like I said, Taurus moons LOVE money and the finer things in life like expensive clothes. If they aren’t the types to dress up or be workaholics, they desire comfort. They would rather lay in bed and take hot bathes than be bothered to do all that extra stuff. They also might like to eat out at expensive restaurants, and are “foodies”. They also might be big lovers of music and have lots of different music tastes. Also, Taurus moons? STUBBORN. Good luck trying to get them to change their mind on something. Also, despite them wanting all the luxuries and comfort of life, they are SUPER grounded. They do not live in a dream world, they see life for what it is, and prefer to be on the ground than have their heads in the clouds. Also, Taurus moons, I’m sorry, but y’all can be lazy. I work with three of them, and they can be lazy. They will not do more than the bare minimum. Also, their anger is low-key scary. Especially since it can come out of nowhere since they’re calm all the time, you never know when they’re angry and if you catch them at the wrong time... well, rip. They also tend to be introverted- even if they’re social, you will not know anything about them unless you’re besties with them or related to them. Doesn’t matter how well you know them, they don’t air their dirty laundry and keep their private life private. Also one last thing, omg these people sing all the time. They love singing to themselves, every single one I’ve met does that LMAO. Anyway, love my Taurus moons. 

🍂 Gemini Moon: Gemini moons love to make people laugh LMAO and love to just sit down and have good talks with people. Their minds NEVER stop working. Good luck trying to get them to stop talking once they know you. They can and will talk about anything for hours. Now, I do admire that, but sometimes I just wanna relax and they won’t stop talking to me LMFAO. My dad’s girlfriend is a Gemini moon and at family gatherings she loves to dance around and try to get everyone else to dance. I find that Gemini moons are very active and love to move around, and try to get everyone to have fun. Definitely the life of the party. They’re super amusing and also love to tell jokes and funny stories. Now not all of them are extroverts especially if they have an earth sun sign. So that is something to consider. My cousin is a Gemini moon and tends to be more introverted, however, once she’s comfortable around someone and knows someone she’s super goofy and loves to make people laugh. Gemini moons also love to learn, they’re always teaching themselves about something. My cousin who’s a Gemini moon just randomly started teaching herself how to do sign language (she’s good at it also)! These people are also SUPER adaptable, they can get along with any kind of personality and can adapt to any situation. I’ve also noticed that they love to playfully roast people and annoy them LMAO. I have noticed that they struggle with reading the room, they tend to just continue to annoy someone and can take it too far, which can get kind of annoying. They’re also extremely curious and are always asking questions. They love to ask random questions without any context. It’s a quirk a lot of them have. Trying to tell a story to them can be frustrating because if you mention certain terms they’ll ask you what they mean LMFAO. My dad was telling a story about how he used surfing to explain physics concepts in class and his girlfriend asked what the concepts were and what they mean. Also, they’re really good at giving advice. These people would make great psychologists imo. This girl I used to talk to (who’s a Gemini moon) actually is becoming a psychologist, so there you go LMAO. 

🍂Cancer Moon: Oh Cancer moons...you guys are so sensitive. They feel everything and anything. I haven’t met a Cancer moon that isn’t an empath. They are extremely good at reading other people and sensing their motives. My mother is a Cancer moon, and she’s always been able to tell who’s toxic in my life. She doesn’t even have to meet them either, just based off of stories I tell her, she can pick it up right away. Now, everyone always says Cancer moons are super close with their family and that’s definitely not always the case. The Cancer moons I’ve met have actually had a lot of problems with their family. Now the thing that I’ve noticed with these placements is that despite how toxic their family is, they always stick by them. Even if they’re not close. So I wouldn’t say they’re all super close with their families, but they always stick up for them, which can be an issue if their family is toxic. Also, Cancer moons, SUPER MOODY. I’m sorry but like I’m a Cancer sun and they’re ten times more moody than I am LMFAO. I’ve always said they act more like the stereotypical Cancer than Cancer suns. Also, this is a super underrated placement for humor. Every Cancer moon I’ve met has been super funny. Also, a super underrated placement for anger issues. Everyone says oh yeah Aries moons have anger issues, like yes, BUT HAVE YOU GUYS SEEN CANCER MOON ANGER?! Y’all Taylor Swift is a Cancer moon and wrote a whole album about how fed up she was about the media mistreating her and the whole Kimye thing (rightfully so) but y’all see my point. They can and will fight you. They also tend to be introverted, even if they’re social, (which I rarely see), they would much rather keep to themselves. I’ve also noticed that they’re very nostalgic a lot. My Cancer moon ex used to just randomly go through childhood photos and would show them to me. They’re also EXTREMELY protective over people they love, they will KILL for the people they love. They also love to talk about their dream homes and interior decorating a lot? My Cancer moon ex was OBSESSED with coming up with his dream house and would literally draw out diagrams for me to see. My mother too, she wants to redecorate her apartment and was showing me all the potential furniture that was gonna be put in. Oh Cancer moons, LMAO. 

🍂 Leo Moon: Oh Leo moons. You guys can be so dramatic LMAO. Every Leo moon I’ve met is so dramatic; these are the types of people who get up and move around when telling a story and also do dramatic hand gestures. These are the types of people who post a black screen in middle school on Snapchat saying “Don’t hmu.” LMAO. My Leo moon friend gets so mad when I make that joke, but it’s so true. These people are also naturally super creative, the Leo moons I know love to decorate and draw. Even if they don’t do any outright creative hobbies, they have a creative streak to them. It’s weird though because despite them being very dramatic when it comes to them being angry, they struggle with expressing their personal problems to other people. (This however can be changed with other placements, but I’ve found this to be true in many cases). They don’t want people to think that they’re weak, so they put up a tough front to hide that they’re hurting. Also, Leo moons, are indeed the hype friends. My Leo moon friends gas up my Instagram posts so much. They’re also extremely loyal and don’t like to leave people out, they hate that kind of shit. They’re also extremely accepting of others, my Leo moon friend was the first person I came out to, and they accepted me right away. They also love to take pictures of EVERYTHING. Like when you go out with them, they will make you wait before eating your food so they can take video of your food together LMAO. They love to capture every moment, I personally find it very endearing. Also, a lot of people say Leo moons are super cocky. I don’t find this to be true. They can come off that way, but I’ve found they tend to actually be pretty insecure and they try to hide it by coming off as confident. I feel like Leo moons tend to put on a show a lot to hide how they truly feel, which makes it hard to get to know them. It makes me sad because they truly are such kind hearted people and all they want is to feel validation. I also found that they love to go above and beyond to make sure everyone else is happy and tend to put themselves last. I wish y’all didn’t do that, you deserve to be happy too. ;( 

🍂 Virgo Moon: Workaholics. That’s how I’m starting this LMAO. My friend is a Virgo moon and works her ass off. She goes above and beyond in school for starters. For this anatomy course we had together, she sent me a whole diagram she made of the human brain on Notability and it was so intricately made. She also works her ass off at her job and takes care of her siblings. I feel like this falls into Virgo placements putting others before themselves. Virgo moons are definitely the types to be like this. They want to make everyone happy and they want to feel useful so they do all these extra things to feel that way. Virgo moons are also super smart, and have the best study methods. Low-key jealous. They have this incredible drive and are always on top of things and have a routine. Also Virgo moons LOVE animals. My friend who’s a Virgo moon, works at a dog sitting business and has 6 pets at home. They LOVE animals. They also like honesty and bluntness; they will provide you with that as well. They don’t like beating around the bush or lying to make other people feel better. You wanna know if you look bad in a dress? Ask a Virgo moon, LMFAO. I’ve also found that they struggle with wanting to be perfect all the time, and struggle with anxiety. As I said, they want to be the best at everything, and this can be a big source of anxiety for them. These people also find themselves attracting people who they want to “fix”. They also give amazing advice and are super reliable. Also, last minute plans? They HATE them. Want a Virgo moon to hate you? Try making spontaneous plans with them LMAO. Virgo moons also have great memories; they’ll remember every little detail about you. Also Virgo moons are the types to take charge in a group project and run the whole thing because they don’t trust anyone. Virgo moons also always appear to be calm and collected, even though many of them frequently deal with anxiety a lot. Also, they’re low-key underrated for humor. They have a very dry and self-deprecating sense of humor LMAO. They also go above and beyond in relationships because they enjoy seeing the people they love being happy. 

Anyhoo, this wraps up part one!  Also these are just my opinions, so don’t get offended I tried to praise and drag all of them equally <3 

Part 2 here. 

[leocancertaurus]

Renaissance, pt. 1

wc: 1.7k

cw: angst, talk of death

a/n: this will be just a quick lil two parter. i also wrote this bc i’m particularly hating white men today

part one| part two

Finally. Fucking finally this mission was over. You’d been on a no contact mission in South Africa for the past five years. Five! Five years away from your family, your friends, your team, your life. Your girlfriend! The mission was to bring down a Hydra base that was suspected of conducting experiments to create indestructible humanoids. Your initial contract was to be evaluated at the one year mark. The amount of intel that you acquired for S.H.I.E.L.D., would determine whether your contract was to be extended or concluded. Shockingly, every year your contract got extended. Steve was the commander for this mission, ultimately being the one to make those decisions. He was adamant that the intel that you’d recovered was all valuable but, he suspected that there was something bigger worth waiting for that could potentially bring all of Hydra down. A part of you was honored to be apart of something so monumental, even if it wasn’t necessarily ideal. Steve was a dear friend of yours. You knew for a fact that he deeply cared for you. Of course, you trusted his intuition on this. 

Your mind races as you stare out into the clouds. There are a few more hours left on the plane back to New York. You were so close to being dropped back into a life that you don’t know anymore. The state of the Avengers was unknown to you. Along with everyone else in the world, you’d seen the news of what had happened in Sokovia. But, you’d seen no other headlines regarding the team in the years following that. Unfortunately, that means you’ve gone this long without even a glimpse of your girlfriend, Natasha. Could you still call her that? She has every right to have moved on. You would try to understand if she had. Selfishly, you hoped she didn’t. You hoped that she waited like she swore she would. But, neither of you expected for you to be gone for this long.

 Natasha has always consumed your every waking thought. Not a day passed where you weren’t thinking about what she may be doing at that moment, or what missions she’s been on, or what’s currently putting a smile on her face. What music has she been listening to? What has she been reading? Who has she become? You’re preparing yourself to be in her arms again. You can just feel it: your head lying on her chest as you reacquaint yourself with the cadence of her heart beat. The scent of her shampoo, forbidding you from acknowledging any other reality outside of her grasp. 

The plane's wheels slamming on the tarmac jolt you awake. You check the time on your watch. It’s late in the morning. Hopefully meaning the teams around for lunch. You lay eyes on the new compound. Of course, Stark had to go all out. You couldn’t wait for him to tell you all about it. Tony was extremely close to you. He was the reason that you’d even become a part of the Avenger’s initiative. He was the first person to believe in you. Your body buzzes at the thought of seeing the people closest to you in mere moments. You throw your bag over your shoulder and enter the compound. It was eerily quiet. You decide to show yourself around and hopefully find someone. Preferably, Natasha. 

 Shortly into your self-guided tour, you find yourself in the kitchen. You still had yet to set eyes on a single person. Your stomach roars, convincing you that it was time to eat something following your overnight flight. You swipe a couple pieces of fruit to hold you over. You stand in front of the floor to ceiling windows.

It feels bizarre to be back. You’ve lived a substantial chunk of your life as someone else and now you’re just Y/n again. What does that even mean? Who are you? What are you? You lose track of time, standing here taking in the view of the bright blue sky and the waves crashing along the shore. An audible gasp prohibits you from spiraling further. You look across the room directly into the bright green eyes that you dreamed of for the past 5 years. 

“Y/n?” she breathes as the color drains from her face. 

“Tasha,” you don’t hold back your tears in the slightest as you move to approach her. 

She just stares at you. She doesn’t say a word. 

You attempt to help her break out of it with an awkward, teary chuckle, “Why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?”

“Y/n, how are you here right now?” She demands.

“My mission ended, love. I’m back.” You glance at her hand. Immediately noticing a large diamond ring adorning her finger. Fuck. Not ideal but. 5 years is a long time to wait for someone. Hopefully, whoever this person is treats her– 

“No. I mean, how are you here? As in, alive?” Natasha strains through fresh tears. 

“Wait what?” You’re startled by the question, “You thought I was dead?”

“Everyone does. You died 4 years ago, Y/n. We had a funeral and everything. Is this some sick fucking joke?” Her voice is raspy and strained. 

“Tash, why would I play like that? I didn’t-” you’re interrupting by squealing. 

A little boy barrels into Natasha’s legs, “Mommy! Mommy! You have to help me find a good hiding spot! Fast!” 

Natasha, ever the professional at putting up a mask, wipes the tears from her eyes and crouches down to the young boy’s level, putting on a smile just for him. “Stevie, honey, Mommy is a little busy right now. Maybe Uncle Bucky can help you?”

Your feet are glued where you stand. This was becoming way too much, way too quickly. It would take you some time to process any one of the new updates that you just learned, but all of it at once caused your chest to burn. Every ounce of control you had was working overtime to keep the bile down. 

 The child's eyes meet your own, “What’s your name?” he asks. 

“Y/n,” you purse your lips into a tight smile.

“Hi Y/n!” he waves at you, “Bye Y/n!” he turns to run out of the room, likely going to find Bucky, when he’s lifted off of the ground. 

“Did you even try to hide?” Steve tickled the boy as he wriggled in his grasp. 

“Daddy, please no!,” Stevie squeals, trying to break away. 

Your head snaps back toward Natasha at the title. Still, she can read you like a book. You were trying not to react. Yet, every word you didn’t say, Natasha could read through your eyes. She deeply inhales trying to quickly think of a possible course of action.  She knows that this is all way too much, way too soon. 

“You ready to go, Nat? Our flight leaves in–” Steve feigns shock. “Woah, Y/n? You’re back?” 

All you have to offer is a small nod. Steve attempts to read the room, looking at you and then Natasha, refusing to be the first to speak. 

“Stevie, can you go down the hallway to your Uncle Bucky’s office please? I’ll come get you when I’m done okay?” She removes her son from Steve’s arms, kissing him on his head as she points him in the right direction. 

Once he’s out of ear shot, Natasha turns back to you and Steve. Your arms are tightly wrapped around your own torso and there's a deep wrinkle in your brow. She hopes that you’d look at her but, she knows you won’t at this moment. Her eyes land on Steve, whose expression mirrors yours.

“Steve. Please. Please, explain to me how Y/n is standing here right now?”

“There had to be some kind of misunderstanding, doll. I-I’m not so sure,” he approaches his wife and places a hand on her shoulder. He looks at you again, worry plastered across his face. 

“Everyone thinks I’m dead,” you reflect to yourself. It’s all you can get out. But, you’d been checking in with Steve. He knew that you weren’t dead. Natasha needed to know this. You needed to tell her but, your voice was trapped deep within the confines of your chest, clawing to come out. The room felt as if it were quickly closing in on you. There wasn’t enough air in here. Natasha notices your demeanor and quickly intervenes. She gently grabs your hands, hoping that it’d ground you just enough. They were softer than you remember. To think, you were holding Natasha’s hands again under such circumstances. She leads you to a chair at the table. 

“There had to be some kind of mix up with the files or something. We’ll figure this out, Y/n, I swear.”

“Steve, a glass of water please,” she directs at the man who dared not participate in comforting you. 

“Look, Nat. I know this is sudden and unexpected but, we can’t miss that flight,” Steve tells Natasha as he places a glass of water in front of you. Your focused on Natasha’s hand in yours. You can’t quite hear anything other than mumbling over the thoughts plaguing your mind and your ears throbbing. You jump at the speed in which Natasha’s head whips around to face Steve. 

“Fuck that flight, Steve! Are you insane?! The person that you watched me grieve is sitting right in front of me and you’re expecting me to just act normal and fly halfway across the world? Do you really think now is the time for that?” Natasha’s face is overcome with a deep shade of red.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. We’ll get this all sorted,” he clumsily clears his throat. His eyes bounce between you and Natasha. Natasha gives you her focus again. She’s kneeling in front of you trying to gauge what you may need from her. This causes the both of you to miss the look of disdain that flashes across Steve’s face in reaction to how quickly Natasha stepped up to take care of you. 

[shingia]

can i req suna,, akaashi and iwa (and anyone else u want!!) getting jelly abt the s/o hanging out with another guy and being touchy (like the playful smacking or smth) without knowing the guy was their brother? angst to fluff bc i want the ✨ pain ✨ if u dont wanna its fine too,,

thanks bby,, love ur works so much! stay safe and healthy 😫💗

✗ HQ BOYS GETTING JEALOUS OF A GUY WITHOUT KNOWING HE’S YOUR BROTHER ✗

me receiving a request : 🥰 the request including suna :🤩 tysmm bby stay safe and healthy tooo <3

-> suna, iwaizumi, akaashi

-> angst to fluff

-> reblogs help a lot <33

— SUNA

• he hadn’t asked many questions when you told him you couldn’t come over to his house in the afternoon. but now, as he was replaying your snapchat story for the sixth time, he really wished he did

• maybe if he had insisted on coming with you, you wouldn’t have let this guy - that he had never seen, for the record - act so touchy with you

• was it his fault for not making you feel special enough ? to the point that you preferred the company of other men rather than your own boyfriend’s ?

• just the thought of this was enough to make a few of his usually well-hidden insecurities bubble up - most of them due to what his friends always joked about « suna doesn’t care enough to be in a relationship, they’ll all run away after a week ! »

• so yes, suna was hurt, but you didn’t have to see that. your opinion on him was the only one he cared about, he didn’t want to tarnish it. well... your opinion and his little sister’s, who burst into his room as he was about to watch your story for the seventh time to tell him that « someone’s at the door ! »

• not feeling like getting out of bed, it took him a few minutes to drag his feet to the door before finally opening it. and of all the people he could have expected to see, you were the last of them

• « surprise ? » you smiled as you let yourself in, not noticing the surprised look on his face as you greeted him with a tight hug. « i felt bad for cancelling our afternoon together, so i asked my brother to drop me off »

• you weren’t even done talking that suna had already recognized the man in the car that was leaving his driveway. his embrace immediately softened, and a smile crept on his face as he felt all his doubts vanish in a second

• « nuh-uh, don’t take your jacket off beautiful, i’m taking you out », he told you, determined to spoil you in the way he regretted not doing sooner

• at his words, his sister almost magically appeared next to you, coat in hand and ready to go. « you weren’t planning on leaving without me, right ? » she flashed you a toothless grin, grabbing both your hand and his to drag you two outside

• suna shared a deadpanned look with you, « of course not... » you both said in unison as she was already leading the way to her favorite ice cream shop

— IWAIZUMI

• iwa’s trust in you was infinite. but something about the way this guy had his arm playfully wrapped around your shoulders didn’t sit right with him

• his practice had ran late and he was exhausted. but he had promised you he would pop over to the birthday party of your childhood best friend, knowing how much it mattered to you

• but your behavior looked an awful lot like an attempt at making him jealous... and it was working

• was it your way of letting him know that you two weren’t working anymore ? were you just too much of a coward to be clear about it ? he hated to think about you that way. and most of all, he cared about you too much to not step in

• « ok now you got my attention » he told you after pulling you to the side. « if you want to tell me something, go ahead, i’m listening »

• still trapped in the euphoria of the moment, you didn’t really understand how upset he was. but maybe it was for the best, because it allowed you to defuse the tension lightheartedly : « i can’t believe i forgot to introduce you ! » you let out as you dragged him back to where your brother was still standing

• his jaw still clenched, iwa couldn’t even bring himself to shake this stranger’s hand, as friendly as he looked. at least not until you spoke your next words : « he was actually telling me how excited he was to finally met his future brother-in-law ! »

• iwa’s lips slightly parted in confusion, you could almost hear the cogs turning in his head over the music. brother? well that explained a lot of things

• « h-hi, sorry i was... miles away » he apologized before finally shaking the hand your brother was holding out to him

• but once the surprise had passed, another word stuck with him : brother-in-law ? as in « my sibling speaks so highly of you that i’m willing to let you put a ring on their finger even though i have never met you yet » ?

• well, it was good to know that your brother agreed with the plans he’d had for you since day 1...

— AKAASHI

• it was not unusual for akaashi to think that maybe he was not good enough for you. but being actually jealous was a first for him

• he had promised himself to never be too overprotective of you. but the facts were here : it was 3am and the only thing keeping him up was this unknown feeling of pure jealousy

• if he had not been in such a hurry when he witnessed your lighthearted banter and playful fighting with this man in the afternoon, he would’ve come up to you. introduced himself. maybe asked a few questions. if

• suspecting that this unpleasant feeling would not go away unless he talked to you about it, akaashi found himself dialling your number in the middle of the night

• used to his thoughts polluting his mind at unpredictable hours of the day and the night, your ringer was always on. which is why you picked up after only two rings

• « hi angel, i’m sorry to wake you up, i just... » he started, the clarity of his tone letting you know that he had not slept a wink. feeling his hesitation, you were quick to reassure him « it’s ok keiji. what’s going on ? »

• « who were you with ? i mean- this afternoon ? i don’t think i’ve ever met that guy and i was just wondering if... maybe i should ? »

• sitting up straight on your bed, you felt a weight being lifted off your shoulders. if this was the only thing keeping him awake, he should be able to fall asleep in the following minutes. « i was with my brother. but i understand why you were confused, it’s a normal reaction so please don’t blame yourself for that, alright baby ? »

• the gasp you heard on the other end of the line made you chuckle. akaashi’s voice was much less tensed now : « well in that case, yeah i should probably meet him... if you’re ok with that »

• « i’m more than ok with that » you smiled, placing your phone down on your pillow « wanna stay on the phone for a bit ? »

• « that’d be nice », his voice sounded sleepy already, especially above the familiar sound of his covers being pulled up to his chin

— ATSUMU

• how could he put that in words ? he didn’t even know if he was allowed to be jealous because he knew how often you had to see him deal with his many fangirls

• and that was actually what bugged him the most : that he might have already made you feel as shitty as he was feeling now

• but atsumu wasn’t the type to sit down and seriously open up about his feelings. besides, it was much easier to look like a needy boyfriend rather than a vulnerable one

• so he resorted to what he was best at : physical touch as a way to get your attention

• sneaking up behind you, he didn’t give you any warning before wrapping both his arms around your waist and pressing his chest on your back so much that you almost had to bend over

• he really hoped you would be perceptive enough to understand that he wasn’t just being clingy, but in need of a lot of reassurance. and luckily, it was quick to come :

• « tsumu, let me introduce you my brother » you chuckled, understanding how and why he had been mistaken

• one hand still on your waist, he used the other to greet your brother. atsumu did not really seem fazed by the news. of course he was relieved to know that he had nothing to worry about, but this little experience had still been very eye-opening to him

• after your brother had left to give you two some privacy, tsumu’s grip on your waist tightened, but in a softer way

• « ‘m sorry if i ever made ya cry » he let out, completely out of the blue. you didn’t really understand the meaning of this, but it didn’t matter. your hand found its way to his cheek that you brushed lightly with one finger, admiring the how it was slowly turning red. « being jealous sucks... » he added.

• « it does », you approved, giving him a quick peck on the nose. « but there’s nothing and no one that you should worry about, i promise »

• a fond smile lit up his face. you looked sincere, and he really needed to hear that right now. quick as ever, his hands left your waist to come and rest on your cheeks. both holding each other’s faces, you stared at the other for a few seconds, wondering which one of you would give in to a kiss first

TAGLIST : @toworuu @catwithangerissues @miyumiya @livy384 @k0u-minamo2 @fullsundear @hsjvwq @kelsuuki @hiraeth-z @velvetvirgos @kirishimas-manly-eyeliner @47meow @japanesevenom @geektastic84 @noir-blanches-blog @idontlikeyourjob @seiri-ami @atiny-grl-with-luv @admiringlove @nachotrash @kellesvt @aintyourholy @Moonlaeli @catchmewiddershins @duhsies @devilgirlcrybabiey @crystal-lilac @ijustwantfreenetflix @mimaki @maitenight

[change-the-world-someday]

I'll Be Here

Oh boy I'm back baby. Here's a Derek Shepherd x Teen!reader bc I just started Grey's Anatomy. I'm well aware I've had stuff in my inbox for over a year, and frankly I'll get round to them soon. I hope this tides you over.

Derek Shepherd x Teen!Reader

Summary: Who'd have thought the child of Derek Shepherd would suffer with something even he can't cure?

A/N: I've been twitching a lot lately so this was a comfort write. Derek and Meredith don't have a relationship, and there's a bit of canon divergence.

⚠️TW⚠️ Talk and descriptions of twitching/tics

—•—

You knew the moment you woke up you were going to have a bad day.

Your alarm went off at the bright and early nine and as you made a move to turn it off, your arm twitched, almost pushing it off your nightstand. You let out a sigh, leaning down and managing to shut it off and sit up.

Until you neck starts to snap left and right, tensing and relaxing each muscle.

“Fuck’s sake,” you mutter under your breath, standing and stretching, well, as much as you can before your twitches start up again. You makes your way downstairs, finding an empty kitchen and a note on the counter. You manage to pick it up and read it.

Sorry, I got called in today. Let me know when you’re up

— Dad

You shake your head, whistling and shaking your hands. Great, so you're alone on a day where your twitches are worse than normal. You sigh and head back upstairs, almost losing balance on the stairs, and takes a quick shower before trying to style your hair. With difficulty, you get changed before reaching over and grabbing your phone. You grip it tightly, until it’s flung across the room.

“Shit,” you mumble, reaching down and picking it up. You open your messages, trying to text your dad.

Y/N

Hi, up. Bad today

It’s short, and to the untrained eye, might seem pretty rude, but to you and your dad, is a warning. Heading back to the kitchen, you try to eat a bowl of cereal. Instead, you managed to spill the cereal twice, drop milk on the floor, and then poke yourself in the side of the face a few times with your spoon instead of eating.

Your phone buzzes.

Dad

Do you need me at

home?

Y/N

No. Just bad

Dad

Do you want to come

to the hospital? You

can stay in one of the

offices if you want

You think about it for a moment, though you don’t get too long before your phone starts ringing. You pick up.

“Hi—” you whistle “—hi Dad.”

You hear him sigh. “Hey kid. Do you want to come in today? I can make sure no one stops you and you can come straight to the office.”

You click, your neck jerking forward. “You sure? I’ve—“ you whistle “—never been there before. I don’t want—“ you click “—to become a case study.”

Your dad laughs lightly down the phone. “I won’t let them. Just make your way over, and keep your earphones in. Music helps.”

You nod, before your neck twitches to the side and cracks, making your dad wince audibly. “Okay. I’ll let you know—“ you whistle and sigh, clearly getting frustrated with yourself.

“I get it. Don’t work yourself up; it’ll only make it worse. See you soon. Love you.”

A ghost of a smile passes across your face. “Love you too, Dad.”

—•—

Derek hangs up and leaves the store cupboard, almost bumping into Dr Bailey as she marches past.

“Watch where you’re going, McDreamy,” she scolds and Derek smiles, though it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. Bailey narrows her eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“Y'N's coming here. They're having a bad day,” he replies and Bailey nods, immediately catching on. “No one else knows.”

Surprisingly enough, you haven’t met anyone from Derek’s work, except for Bailey and even then, that was an accident. You'd bumped into her on a bad day and Derek had to explain what was wrong. Ever since, Bailey’s had a soft spot for you.

“Not even the chief?” She asks and Derek shakes his head. “Did you warn them?” He nods. “Well, there’s not much else you can do.”

“They're texting me when they’re a few minutes away. If I get caught in surgery, can you meet them at the doors please?”

The two stop in the corridor, Bailey pulling him over. “I have my own schedule too, Shepherd.”

Derek nods. “I know, but you’re the only other person here they know, and you know how they can get in places they don’t know…”

Bailey looks around. “If you’re caught up, you owe me one.”

Derek smiles and nods, a look of relief on his face. “Thank you.”

—•—

You're walking down the street to the hospital, constantly readjusting your earphones so they don’t fall out. Your neck keeps snapping to the side and jerking forward, earning a few odd looks from strangers. You sigh, a few minutes away from the hospital, and pull out your phone. Before you can do anything, though, you promptly throw your phone on the pavement.

Thank god your dad bought you one of those industrial phone cases. You pick it up, dodging people as you go to call your dad. He picks up after two rings.

“Hi, I’m—“ you click “—a minute away.”

“Okay. I don’t think I’m going to be able to meet you at the doors. Just walk through, take the stairs to the fifth floor, and come down the hall. I’ll be in the break room, second door on the left.”

Your eyes widen; you're going to be by yourself? Walking through a hospital? Where no one knows you?

“O-Okay,” you stammer out and your dad sighs.

“I’m sorry kid. Everything’s going to be okay. I’ll see you in a bit.”

He hangs up and you take a breath, nodding to yourself. You pocket your phone and turn your music up as loud as it can be. Your dad was right, it does ease your twitching, though not as much as you'd like.

Fall Out Boy blasts through your earphones as you walk through the doors of Seattle Grace. You refuse to make eye contact with anyone, your neck twitch making it a lot easier to achieve. You click as you make your way to the stairwell, making your way up.

You don’t hear the calls of concerns from the interns following you, trying to catch up to you.

By the time you reach the fifth floor, the two interns have gone to find Dr Bailey to try and assist them, and Dr Shepherd who can help with the disorder being presented. They haven’t had someone who needs medical attention blatantly ignore them and go to a certain department before.

You lose your balance a little as you walk through the doors to the fifth floor, your neck jerking left and right repeatedly, muscles tensing and relaxing. Your hands are shaking and you walk like a new fawn.

You reach the door and push it open, whistling and clicking as you do so. At least you can see your dad today.

—•—

Derek knows immediately what kind of day is happening when you steps into the room. You're a jerking mess, neck and shoulders tensing and relaxing as though given electric shocks. You're whistling, clicking, and your eyes have recently started screwing shut, temporarily blinding you.

And that’s with your headphones in.

“Hey Y/N,” he greets, gently taking one earbud out of your ear and leading you to the seats. At least if you're sat, you have less of a chance of hurting yourself.

“Hi Dad,” you reply until a whistle comes back out. “S-Sorry.”

“Hey,” Derek places a firm but kind hand on your shoulder, “don’t apologise. None of this is your fault.” There’s a silence between you two, only broken by the sound coming from the removed earphone. “Fall Out Boy? Nice choice.”

Your neck snaps but you give a small smile. “Thanks.”

“Do you want something to eat? Did you manage to get some breakfast?” You sigh, your hands twitching and trembling, which tells Derek everything he needs to know. “Is it a bomb-site there?”

You shake your head. “I managed—“ you whistle “—to clean up. Took ages.” Your neck jerks forward. Derek sighs, putting an arm around you and pulling you into his side. You've always been wary; you never want to hurt your dad accidentally but Derek doesn’t care. You're his kid, and nothing will change that.

“You’re okay. Do you want some lunch? We can go to the cafeteria—they’ve got some pizza in there that’s actually pretty good.”

You nod, knowing anything you try to say will be interrupted by one of your twitches. You walk alongside Derek, trying your hardest to suppress your twitching as you make your way through the hospital and into to lift, where a few others are going to different floors. Derek notices, and leans into your ear. “You don’t have to hide it here, kid. Promise.”

There’s an audible sigh of relief from you as you let out a scatter of twitches, your neck jerking forward as you whistle and click. Your hands shake and flap and you let it all go. A few of the doctors and nurses turn around to look at you, but one harsh glare from Dr Shepherd makes them all go back to minding their own business.

You exit the lift and walk through the corridors to the cafeteria. You join the queue and you feel Derek keep an arm around you, trying to help you ease your twitches. You're grateful, though you both know there isn’t much either of you can do to stop them. You sigh, putting your earphones back in and blasting some music, this time Hozier.

Derek watches you struggle, sympathy panging through his heart. He hates that you've been cursed with this, and the worst part is they can’t find anything that’s causing it. It’s not like there’s a tumour or growth on your brain Dr Shepherd can operate on, you're just stuck with it.

“Dr Shepherd, good afternoon. Who’s this?” Lindsey, the server behind the food counter, greets. Derek smiles.

“Afternoon Lindsey. This is my kid, Y/N. They're joining me at the hospital today,” he explains, gently tapping you on the shoulder and causing you to take an earphone out. “Y/N, this is Lindsey.”

“Hi,” you greet, before your neck jerks forward yet again, cracking. The two adults give a wince and Lindsey gives you a small smile.

“What would you like, hun?” She asks. You look over, or does so as best you can. You can barely stay still long enough to read the menu. “We have a standard pizza or pepperoni pizza today. We also have some ham, chicken, or cheese sandwiches and salads. Or a few pastries we can heat up if you’d prefer.”

You give her a grateful smile. “Can I—“ you whistle “—have pepperoni please? And a—“ you click “—bottle of water?”

“Sure thing, and you Dr Shepherd?”

You put your earphones back in, trying your hardest to stop twitching. The problem is, the more you try to stop it, the worse it gets. It takes a few minutes for you to get your food, and when you do, Derek carries both trays to a table and sets them down. He takes a seat opposite you, giving a small smile.

“Thanks Dad,” you thank, pulling one earphone out so you can hear the conversation. You pick up the plastic fork and spear a few chips, but before you can eat them, your hand twitches and you throw it on the floor. You sigh but before either you or your dad can make a move to pick it up, someone else does it for you.

“You better be more careful. I don’t want fries on my shoes.” You recognise that voice anywhere, and smile as you look up at Dr Bailey. You let out a small laugh.

“Hi Dr Bailey,” you greet, whistling as your head snaps to the side and back. She smiles at you.

“Heard you were coming and through I’d say hello.”

—•—

“Guys, shut up,” Cristina hisses. “Do you see?”

“See what?” George asks as they quieten down. She nods her head and the table of interns turn around to catch sight of what’s going on. Dr Bailey is talking Dr Shepherd… and you sat with them. You're not dressed in any kind of hospital gown, nor are you wearing scrubs, so who are you? And how are you making Dr Bailey smile?

Meredith watches, catching sigh of your hair, and her eyes widen. She reaches over, slapping George on the arm.

“What?” He asks.

“It’s them,” she replies, “the person from earlier. Y’know, the one who didn’t check in at reception and took the stairs. The one who ignored us!”

George’s eyes widen too, and the two get up and start to walk over, ignoring the protests of Cristina and Izzie as they reach the table. You're struggling to get a sentence out, whistling and clicking as you try to tell Dr Shepherd about something.

“Dr Shepherd!” Meredith calls out, making the conversation halt between you. “Are you with a patient?”

She misses how you cringe. Dr Shepherd frowns, which only deepens more at the crack in your neck as it jerks forward. “Dr Grey, Dr O’Malley, how can I help?”

“W-We saw, erm, this kid walk straight through and up to neurology without checking in. Do you want us to check them in and get a better examination? We were going to come to you for a consult when we saw them anyway, but since you already seem to know them…” George trails off and Dr Shepherd looks between you, the interns, and Dr Bailey.

An awkward silence falls between you, only disturbed by the occasional whistle or click from you. “I can get a wheelchair if it’s easier.”

“No need,” Dr Shepherd cuts in. “They aren’t a patient, their name’s Y/N. They're my kid and they're accompanying me to work today.” The two interns look at each other, mortified. “Now, if you excuse us, we were just having lunch.”

Your hand flexes again, making you throw your fork on the floor (the second one in the space of fifteen minutes) and sigh. You go to pick it up, only for George to beat you to it. “Here.”

“Than—“ you click as your head jerks forward “Thank you.”

“Don’t you two have places to be?” Bailey asks, less than impressed with her two interns in front of her. They both nod and scurry off, back to their table to tell Cristina and Izzie about Dr McDreamy’s kid.

—•—

“I don’t know how they cope with it,” George muses as the group of four interns sit on some beds in the back corridor, waiting to be paged for something.

“Yeah, twitching all the time. God, I’d kill myself if I had them,” Izzie continues. “Would ruin my chances at both medicine and modelling. And a lot of other things, probably.”

“Do you think they wanted to go into medicine? Y’know, before they started twitching? Or have they always had it?” Cristina asks. “Or do they have a tumour?”

“For your information,” a voice cuts in, making all four jump and turn to the source, meeting the likes of Dr Shepherd, “Y/N wants to be a lawyer.” He walks down the corridor to them, everyone’s cheeks turning red a the prospect of being caught gossiping. “The tics developed about eighteen months ago, just before we moved to Seattle. It’s not a tumour, or any kind of swelling; in fact, we have no clue what set it off.”

“Have you done an MRI? CT?” Meredith suggests and Derek nods.

“We ran everything. It all came back clean.” He looks at Cristina. “They did want to be a doctor. When we realised we couldn’t cure them, they were upset for weeks. They—“

“Talking about me?” A voice calls down the corridor and Derek’s face splits into a smile, something that doesn’t go amiss by the others. You whistle, making it to the group and taking a seat next to your dad. You lean on him… until your neck twitches and you almost fall back. Derek’s hand shoots out, supporting you.

“We were just—“ Izzie tries to say before you cut her off, clicking in the process.

“Let me guess.” You whistle. “The doctor que—“ you click “—question and how I live with—“ your neck jerks to the side “—it.”

Your dad gives you a smile. “Ten out of ten for you,” he smiles. You nod.

“Well, I used to want to—“ you click “—be a doctor, until we found out this is incurable.” You whistle. “Pretty soul-crushing.” Your neck jerks back, and if it wasn’t for your dad’s hand, you would’ve hit the wall. “And we’ve learned to adapt to it. There are—“ you click “—days where I’m fine, with only a few, and days—“ you whistle and everyone can feel the frustration radiating off you. Still, no one chooses to finish your sentence, letting you get it out yourself “—like this.”

—•—

For a while, the six make general conversation, until, slowly but surely, you start to drift off. It isn’t until there’s an odd silence that Derek notices, and he has a smile on his face as he looks down at you, asleep on his shoulder.

“They look so… peaceful,” Izzie comments quietly, the others agreeing.

“Yeah. We’ve had a few rough days this week. God knows they need the rest,” Derek mutters. He shifts to look between the four. “Any of you wake them, I’ll make sure you’re banned from the OR for a month.”

Everyone’s eyes widen as they nod in unison; they’re all begging for a chance at more surgery. Carefully, Derek manoeuvres you so your head’s lying in his lap, body stretched out on the hospital bed. He carefully cards his fingers through your hair, detangling it as gently as he can.

The interns’ pagers go off, assigning them jobs and the four rush off, leaving Derek and you to rest. He smiles, getting himself comfortable sitting on the end of the bed, back against the wall.

“Get some rest, buddy. I’ll always be here for you.”

—•—

Hope y'all enjoyed. I know it's pretty different from what I usually write, but this is for my own comfort so...

Sorry not sorry

Taglist

@breadsticks2004 @criminalsmarts @rororo06@ogmilkis@ssebstann@herecomesthewriterwitch @garcias-batcave @spidey-reids-2003 @lovelylaurens@sataninsatin@snarky--starky @mcntsee @averyhotchner @dindjarinsspouse @lovers-in-japan-reign-of-love