#I’m not looking to make this episode angsty - I enjoyed how funny and lighthearted it was but DAMN

[redwylde]

Season 1: Kara says no, is physically and painfully punished for it by Totty. Season 2: It comes to light that Kara is afraid to say no in case his brothers might become angry, Totty immediately becomes emotional and apologises. Oh ho?~ A connection? Kara gradually becomes less inclined to stand against his brothers for fear of being punished and Totty realises his past mistakes, taking action to rectify them? Huh..

[tobeornottotc]

The Problems with HIStory4; Close To You Ep 1-4 (Observation and Comments)

The verdict is out!  I actually enjoy History4, as much as there's problematic elements to it, and it does feel a bit like a regression; the acting is great, the chemistry is perfect, and it's not as bad as the trailer made it seem. Like yes, we have a very invasive annoying fujoshi trope, but the characters are written in a way that it makes sense that they fall into this.

The Fujoshi Harassing Invasive Fake Dating Trope:

Cheng is so childish and so up in the clouds, and from a typical sexist, ignorant flawed man perspective, it's like he's always never taken anything seriously because he doesn't see any need to. Also, because he doesn't take anything seriously, he's ignorant and very self-focused and takes things too far; it's his character flaw. The only person who keeps in line is Moren. Who is someone who takes a lot of things seriously but also kind of ignores or avoids feelings and what that entails.

Moren is very gentle and sweet with his friends whilst on the surface, he seems cold and distant, but he tends to be very comfortable and have fun, like the childish part of him is brought out by Cheng. They compliment each other so well. There's something about the way they like each other so unconditionally despite being so opposite to each other, they do care a lot, and they have a very ignorant homophobic mindset because of how they've been raised in society, so they don't know a lot about queerness and what it means, so that's interesting to see them learn their feelings and grow from that.

I like their domestic vibes and how they are when they're just together alone; it's not entirely romantic or in your face that there are feelings; it's very soft, and very based and focused on the depth of friendship that they've developed, and I think that's so cute and adorable to see. The only thing I don't like about their storyline is the fujoshi trope; she's not always there; she's hidden but her presence always reminds me of why this trope is so problematic because she should be called out for her invasiveness. She should be taught about why what she's doing is not okay; maybe she does, later on, do so but I can't tell how serious this writer wants to be with this show. She may have genuinely just wanted a typical old BL style novel like show in the past that we used to read that doesn't address problematic stuff.

The show is very light and funny with these twos story so she may not want it to be so serious, which is why I'm trying to be careful when analysing the show. My thing is the fujoshi thing needs to be addressed because her actions aren't okay more than Cheng and Moren. The trailer for the show is wildly exaggerated and made me dread watching the show. Still, although Cheng is sometimes quite touchy and can fall into that line of harassment, it's been called out by Moren in episode 1, and everything in the trailer that seemed problematic with harassment for them isn't like it is.  It's just them joking around and being Moren and Cheng. Moren may feel weirded out by some situations, but it's not against his consent, is what I'm trying to say. Cheng is not meant to be a perfect character; his flaw is his childishness, and how he doesn't take things seriously, so he comes across as rude, invasive, loud etc. But for them, there's nothing so far that is as bad as what the trailer suggested it would be. Maybe, later on, I'd change my mind.

The Stalker Obsessesive Step Brother Trope:

For Jie and Xingsi. It's different. It's the same issues with stories about obsession, possession and trauma tropes. People will not like Jie because the reason why he does what he does, is because his character outline is based on a mental disorder (that isn't even diagnosed, but it's clear he's on a  sociopathic spectrum), he's emotionally shut off, so he doesn't have any feelings, doesn't know when he's gone too far or when he is doing something to others that are seen as problematic. All he focuses on is his feelings for XingSi because he's the only person who makes him care.

Not goanna lie, their storyline has toxic elements, and it is weird that the show wants to humanise his actions and make him seem pitiful. For me, he is pitiful, and I do understand why he acts the way he does, but I think others would have an issue with him. I think it's hard to accept the storyline because it is romanticising toxicity and dependency, but I kinda after being freaked out by him; I've come to kind of understand why they write his character the way they did for him and Xingsi. The theme of these two's story is conforming to societal pressures vs being free and accepting your self. So they kind of help each other with the other's problem/issue.

You can decide if you want to see that as romantic or if you are so turned off by Jie's insensitive actions. For me, this is a typical toxic storyline that makes sense to me why they'll be together. For example, when looking at Jie; Obviously, he's been nurtured into developing parts of being sociopathic to deal with the pain of his childhood. It's not an excuse to let him get away with his actions; I'm just saying I understand his character outline. He doesn't trust people; he doesn't let anyone in. So he's automatically someone with sociopathic tendencies, very possessive, can be aggressive if he isn't sure he trusts what's happening, alienates himself and doesn't care for how others view him. But he's someone who kind of helps Xingsi deal with his own secrets; Xingsi is someone determined to be responsible/right in society; hence he hides himself and his actual wants and needs to please people.

So Jie, with his own twisted ways, is always a catalyst to helping Xingsi find out what he wants and for Xingsi to come to terms with being brave and showing who he really is to people. In a way, Jie, because he's so emotionally uncaring about what others think of him, is the antithesis to Xingsi; he is freer because he's not hiding who he is or conforming to what others think is right/wrong he only cares about his own freedom/happiness. So he provides that way and escape for Xingsi to be himself and stop pretending or acting to please people and society. That's what the writers are trying to achieve with them. Jie is then also taught about feelings and emotions because of having Si as someone he does care for automatically and does want to change for and be gentle to whilst Si learns to accept himself /stop conforming to societal pressures.

They follow typical old BL novels in the past; they have problematic issues and toxic stuff around them to discuss, and they're very flawed; they are written to help each other deal with their flaws/issue by falling for each other. Is it right to romanticize that storyline? Maybe or maybe not, we need to do better stories for BL; that's something we know, it's not okay to always have toxic or problematic storylines, but if you know me, I also enjoy the past BL tropes as well. I like toxic storylines because they have so much interesting character dynamics that are wild to explore and analyse. They usually are very angsty and dramatic, and they have a good plot. That's something I never try to hide away from, I don't agree with when people say you shouldn't write toxic storylines or add problematic characters, but that's an argument for another day etc., I just want it to be called out when its a toxic thing/problematic trope like give consequences and show them learning why its wrong, or have them go through a character development.  

It's not going to make me judge the show so badly or stop watching it when I actually enjoy the friendship, characters and lighthearted, funny vibes the show brings every Sunday. Like it makes me smile and laugh when I'm watching Cheng and Moren, and it makes me think when I watch Xingsi and Jie. So yeh I enjoy the show and I'm not ashamed to say it.

[katierosefun]

well, here we are! june basically flew by and it was a little rough, but we’re back with some long recs on cool things i’ve read/listened to/watched, and i’m about to force everyone to sit down and listen to my sleepover-esque ted talk in which i give unwarranted and unasked for rec lists. so here we go!

kdrama:

while you were sleeping

okay, so i tried to watch this kdrama when it came out in like...2017, i think? but for some reason, i wasn’t able to get past the first episode. i don’t really know why? because it’s so beautifully shot, and i super love the premise, which is basically this girl and this guy are somehow able to see things that are going to happen in the future...but only in their dreams. this whole kdrama really handled the plot super well--each episode honestly felt like a movie in itself, and the filming was just stunning, and i think this has to be one of the most visual kdramas i’ve ever seen. each character is also super interesting and complex on their own, and i really loved seeing such a strong cast of characters interact with each other in this world. 

i think the only slight downside of this kdrama was that i couldn’t really get invested in the romance? i’m not quite sure why--i found both lead actors’ performances wonderful, and don’t get me wrong, i did think they were cute together as the drama went on, but i still couldn’t find myself buying into the romance until maybe relatively late in the drama (like...ep 11 or so? ep 16 was honestly when i realized that awww, wait, they’re actually super cute). but then again, i feel like the writers weren’t really prioritizing the romance either--i think they really wanted us to think about the beauty of dreams and redemption and how everyone can touch another person’s life in some significant way, so i can’t really be mad about it!

but anyways, overall i really enjoyed this kdrama and watched it all a lot faster than i thought i would! SOLID music, beautiful cinematography, good acting, mostly good writing, and some really memorable characters! def. a must-watch if you love suspense, aesthetics, and some wonderful characters.

the ghost detective

i’m someone who doesn’t like horror or scary things at all, but i was so intrigued by the plot and whatever material i saw on tumblr, and...of course, choi daniel, lee joo young, lee ji ah, and park eun bin. honestly, this is just a really wonderful and really underrated cast, and they really all brought out their a-game for this 32-episode supernatural / thriller / horror drama. basically, this kdrama follows the story of a young woman who’s trying to figure out who murdered her younger sister...and of course, there’s something supernatural going on. 

honestly, this kdrama was such a ride. i loved the crime-solving aspect of it, and i was really in love with the interactions between all the characters, esp. that of eun bin and daniel’s characters. (guys...they’re so ride and die for each other. there’s also so much yearning. so much yearning in this kdrama, it just about killed me--) 

the villain was absolutely, appropriately, elegantly creepy, and like...scary beyond belief. basically, the villain (lee ji ah’s character) feeds her victims these harmful thoughts and ultimately get them to kill themselves. it’s sad and haunting, especially when you see that the victims tell their victims “don’t listen to the bad things. try only to listen to the good things”. and...yeah. themes of how to handle all of these bad feelings inside of you really came through in this kdrama, and there were a lot of themes of suicide and the kind of rage and sadness that comes with that. (also! if you’re a fan of lots of angsty/whumpy situations....this kdrama definitely does not hold back with all of your fave whump/angst tropes! literally! every! episode! i! had! to! lie! down! because! too! powerful!)

school 2013 

(aww, look at this precious cast…as though they didn’t all make me ugly cry at least five times—)

yeah, yeah, yeah, i’ve talked about this kdrama ad nauseum, and i know i watched it last month, but as i was studying for the lsat, i really, really, really needed some comfort. most notably comfort re: studying life, academics, how difficult it is to study but also be uncertain of your dreams…and if you are certain of your dreams, how that sometimes requires studying but that just makes life all the more overwhelming…can you tell i’ve been thinking about this a lot

i’m not going to ramble more about this kdrama considering i already have done so multiple times, but i enjoyed this rewatch and honestly,,,my love for this show has just grown even more. there’s a good reason why people consider this a comfort kdrama, because. i consider myself deeply comforted. also, i’ve been listening to the ost for the whole month. it’s become a problem. but sometimes. sometimes you need to listen to songs that feel like someone’s patting you on the head and telling you don’t give up, set down your burdens, don’t think you’re alone and dream whatever you want to dream, go wherever you want to go. i’ll stop talking now, but god. when i say that i think everyone who has ever felt incredibly tired by work or school and just wished for someone to give them a big hug either then or now...god. this is just one of those kdramas that i think honestly touched so many people’s lives, and i’m very grateful for the cast and crew and writers for ever bringing this story to life. :’) (god, okay, now i’ll stop talking before i make myself cry i’m fine this is fine)

your honor

so, i watched this kdrama thinking that it would be light and funny given that yoon shi yoon is the main male lead, but boy was i wrong--don’t be fooled by these happy little faces, this kdrama is heavy. this kdrama is about a young man (with a criminal record) who winds up impersonating his twin brother, who happens to be a judge. we also have a trainee who, after seeing the legal system fail her older sister, is on the rise to dispense justice through the courts the best she can.

honestly, the first few episodes were rough, mostly because of the content. big trigger warning for rape, violence, and sexual harassment at work. this kdrama really didn’t hold back when it came to addressing how the very people who use the law can also be the very same people who manipulate and abuse it. because of that, i found this kdrama incredibly powerful. that said, it certainly had its lighthearted moments too. 

overall though, i liked this kdrama. the main characters were incredibly complex and genuinely the type to make me believe that for all the injustices in the world, there are still and always will be people fighting for the right thing. as someone who wants to enter the legal field, this kdrama was just uplifting. i was so blown away by the absolute rawness of the main two leads, esp. yoon shi yoon, who i’ve only ever seen in super lighthearted kdramas. so this was a really interesting change of pace, and i genuinely enjoyed watching this!

waiting for love

so this kdrama is just two episodes, and what’s better is that it’s available on youtube! it’s about two college students--a young woman who’s been hurt by falling in love with jerks now just wants to date, not really fall in love...and a young man who’s excellent at giving dating advice except he’s afraid that he’s never going to actually fall in love, so he just dates a girl for the sake of dating.

now, i kinda thought that this show was going to be kinda lighthearted, a little shallow--but it was weirdly...comforting? idk, i found myself liking it a lot more than i thought it would be. this is far from the perfect kdrama, and i kinda wished that we got more than 2 episodes because i think some of the plot points could have been better expanded, but...there were genuinely a lot of scenes that made me think a bit more about what it actually means to be in a loving relationship--like how it’s not enough to just put on a happy smile and eat meals together, but like...you know. there has to be trust and actual liking and also, yeah, maybe a bit of frustration in order to actually know whether a relationship is real or not. and given that the characters were all discussing the pressure on getting married and romance esp. when you’re in your twenties...idk. makes you think about are you dating someone for the sake of appearances? or do you genuinely...like them?

there was also quite a few tropes that i personally adore in this kdrama, which helped balance out the stuff i found more tiring. there was a lot of the “right person, wrong time” stuff going on (you really want the two main leads to get together after a certain point, and you just keep holding your breath whenever they walk past each other and beg please please please let it be this time...), and also that good old “two strangers fall in love with each other purely over writing to each other” (god. first the half of it, then me & au, then greenhouse podcast...something about this trope huh). that said, there were def. some parts that made me “:////” because some of the characters were kind of frustrating, but i’m gonna chalk that up to good writing since i think i was mostly mad about how i knew people like some of the characters lol. overall, i think this might be at least semi-enjoyable--it’s probably not something i’ll watch again, but it def. made me mull over what it means to actually be in a loving relationship, esp. if you’re in your twenties and everyone around you seems to be in happy romantic relationships/getting engaged and whatnot. 

movie: 

columbus 

i’m a firm believer that there are some movies that are meant to cheer you up, some movies meant to make you cry, and then there’s some movies that are just meant to...sit with you. and this movie is definitely one of them. this story follows casey, a high school graduate, and jin, the son of a famous architect. the two of them are both so incredibly exhausted with their lives (casey with her constant worry about her mother, who’s a recovering drug addict; jin with his surface-level lack of concern for his comatose father). in their small town of columbus, indiana, the two of them bond over architecture and just. being quietly there for each other.

this movie’s been compared a few times to lost in translation in the sense that there’s this not quite romance between the two leads, who have a bit of an age gap (john cho and haley lu richardson have about 20 between them!). to be honest, i didn’t really get the sense that there was supposed to be a romance. if anything, it just felt like...two really lonely people finding each other. definitely not a simple friendship--definitely not a familial kind of relationship, definitely intimate. 

idk. i think this movie might not be for everyone--i definitely agree with a lot of past reviewers that this movie is on the slower side. there’s some stuff here about complicated relationships with parents, a lot of cool architecture, really beautiful shots...and overall, it’s just...quiet. it’s lovely, and i can’t really stop thinking about it. it’s subtle, bittersweet, and oddly compelling. might not be the kind of thing you’d want to watch in the middle of the day, but if you’re a little sad and in the mood for something not to necessarily lift your spirits but...at least acknowledge them and sit with you, then...this is the movie to watch. idk. i felt kind of crummy the day i watched this movie, and i felt as though someone just sat next to me on a park bench until the sun went down. (mayhaps specific but hush, i’m writing this right after finishing this movie, so i’m...feeling a certain way.)

wish dragon 

i watched this movie right after watching columbus because a) decided i was in the mood for something lighter, and b) i learned that john cho?? voiced?? the dragon?? (caroline your crush on john cho’s jumping out this month...) 

but anyways! i loved this movie a lot. it was so satisfying? like, just narratively speaking? and the animation was wonderful and also weirdly smooth and satisfying, and there were a lot of funny and touching moments. this movie’s about this young man named din who stumbles upon a magical teapot that holds the wish dragon long--long has to grant din three wishes, and yes, i know, very aladdin, but that said, this movie has so many original twists that it feels weird to call it an aladdin retelling. it really did feel like a movie completely on its own, which i applaud the writer and director for! 

i don’t want to spoil too much of this movie, but something i really enjoyed was that din’s main wish is just to see his old childhood friend again. idk, i think we all have that one friend from when we were really little that we miss--and this movie really dug into that, as well as themes about parents wanting to do the best they can to provide for their kids, and!!! and long the dragon gets his own storyline and amazing character development too!!! i was honestly just amazed at how this movie fleshed out the characters so well and had so many wonderful themes that just made me tear up. guys. this movie’s great. highly recommend for its wonderful characters and the power of friendship. just a grand old time in general. :’))

searching 

yeah...yeah, i wasn’t kidding about my crush on john cho this month. yes, i watched three of his movies within 24 hours. this movie is about david kim who’s looking for his missing 16 year old daughter, margot. this film is honestly noteworthy for many reasons, one of them being that the entire movie is told through like...a laptop screen, as in we kind of follow david’s frantic search through facetime, facebook, tumblr...which i honestly didn’t think i’d be into, but whoo boy, i was wrong. it just added to the whole addictive quality of this movie, as it usually does when it comes to anything from the thriller genre. 

but besides this just being a straight up addictive thriller with absolutely mouth-dropping twists (but like...good twists, and smart twists, good god--), this movie was just...touching? there’s so many themes related to what grief does to a family (because we learn within the first 10 minutes that the mom died due to cancer), and there’s just...something really fragile about relationships between surviving family members. i was absolutely blown away by john cho’s performance as a tentative and grieving widower whose world just absolutely falls apart in his search for his daughter. this movie was just so...real because of that. like, yes, this movie has all of the suspense that you would expect this kind of movie to have, but there was also just...so many beautiful themes about grief and how far parents would go for their kids and godddd yeah no i started sobbing when the movie ended. god. 

also, my bias towards john cho aside, i...really loved his character. david kim is absolutely believable, and like? he’s not just the guy putting the pieces together--he’s also the guy who misses his wife and also the guy who wishes that he was there for his daughter. he’s also the guy who pauses and re-writes all his text messages because he’s trying to be a good dad. i feel like with a lot of these suspense / missing person movies, it’s really easy to have characters who are just the stoic alpha male types--and david kim definitely had his badass moments in this movie, but like...something i just loved was seeing the vulnerability that comes with...having a missing child. being a parent. god. this movie messed me up but in a good way. i can honestly say that this movie is now probably going to be one of my fave movies of all time. highly recommend, am literally obsessed with it.

book:

the seven husbands of evelyn hugo by taylor jenkins reid

ohohoho………where to begin with this book. this was one of those books where i was like “huh i kinda don’t understand why people are so obsessed with this book”, but then i hit like...page 20 or 30 and was like “oh god i Literally Cannot Put This Book Down Oh No” and wound up finishing it in like three days (mind you, i only read at like...midnight these days. i don’t understand why either). 

i finished this book at like 2 am and promptly burst into tears because this was just one of those books. it follows the story of evelyn hugo, a famous hollywood actress from the 60s or so and onwards. known for her intense beauty and her seven husbands, she’s now giving an exclusive interview to the young reporter monique grant, where she’s about to tell all about her life. this book had me dropping my mouth multiple times, and i think tjr can spin one hell of a story, with so many good twists and turns and intensely memorable characters. by the end of the book, i was actually mad that evelyn hugo wasn’t a real person, because i, too, fell a little in love with her and thought, i want to actually watch her movies. i want to learn even more about this remarkable woman. 

but alas! she’s not real, so i don’t get to see her accept an oscar or look up all the tabloids about her and her seven husbands or her speculated (and very, very, very real) relationship with celia st. john. basically...i just loved this book. the last line made me smile and laugh and cry a little bit (actually...cry a lot), and y’know...i’ll admit it’s not totally perfect, but i’m glad this book exists, and i’m glad that even though tjr isn’t bi herself, was very adamant in this book about bisexuality being real. just. like. god. once again. mad that evelyn hugo isn’t real. it’s fine, she’s real in my heart.

[canonicallysoulmates]

Here are my thoughts and opinions on the first season of Loki.

First of all, if you have not re-watched this season I highly recommend it. It’s only 6hrs, pick a day, get some snacks, binge the whole thing especially if you weren’t a big fan of it the first time around because re-watching it I noticed some things that I hadn’t before but I also found myself liking some things that I hadn’t the first time around. Which is why I recommend re-watching it, cause maybe it’ll be the same for y’all and you’ll find some new things to love, and end up enjoying some things you hadn’t before. It’s really a different experience to watch the whole thing together than when you watch week to week which makes sense cause MCU shows are meant to be movie-esque.

Now, I’ve spoken pretty positively about this show almost on the daily so let’s switch it up and start with the negatives aka the things that I personally didn’t like because while I enjoyed a lot of this show there are things I wasn’t a fan of and things that did irk me a lot; the first thing is very much a pet peeve: the title sequence, I’ve mentioned it before in passing but it reminds me too much of Gravity Falls and Bill Cipher, I gave it 6 episodes, 12 if you count the re-watches, and I just don’t like it at all, I get what they were going for but I don’t think it fits the show and I’m hoping they change it for s2.

But that’s a small thing, I can deal with that, the two (technically three) big things I didn’t like - and I think this is why episode 1 is my least favorite and to me the weakest of the season - is the way the show completely ignores Odin’s abuse and the effect that had on Loki, and the way he’s written in the first three episodes. I will go into detail.

I have no shame in admitting that I am pretty forgiving when it comes to this show and its flaws but the one thing I cannot forgive is how it not only ignores Odin’s abusive behavior but tries to paint him as a loving father and like Loki was the one in the wrong using the most insulting way possible which is that scene in Ragnarok where Odin tells his sons he loves them as if an ‘I love you’ undid years of abuse and bad parenting; it shouldn’t surprise me that they did this because the mcu does have a history and a pattern of being abuse apologists like portraying Thanos killing Gamora to get the soul stone as him loving her, or completely ignoring the horrible father that Howard Stark was. But it still really pisses me off that this show in which a big theme is exploring Loki psychologically and emotionally doesn’t even make mention of what a horrible father Odin was! And it tries to make it seem that just because Loki heard his father say a version of him that he loves him, that Loki suddenly thinks of him as a loving parent (referring to that line in episode 5 where he’s talking to Sylvie and says he has betrayed everyone who has loved him and mentions his asshole of a father instead of his mother!). I didn’t need them to go into details about this, but I did want them to call abuse abuse, and acknowledge Odin was a bad father. To me this is the biggest sin so far of this series. It doesn’t surprise me but it does disappoint me.

Connected to this, and in episode 1 we stay, is the “psychological exploration” of this character. I know after episode 1 a lot of fans were all “omg Loki finally got some therapy 😭” and then there’s me in the corner, shaking my head and saying no he didn’t, not at all, not even close. There was no therapy. And there was zero character exploration. I like Mobius but he is no Linda Martin.

All that happened was Loki being shown the consequences of his actions and being directly asked multiple times if he likes hurting people which of course he doesn’t, that’s not therapy at no point did Loki’s trauma get addressed, at no point did Loki get walked through that stuff or asked why he is how he is or what happened to change him from someone who was just mischievous to someone who caused harm.

Sorry to burst y’alls bubble but Loki did not get therapy in episode 1. Change Mobius lines about how Loki is just meant to cause pain and suffering and death for “imagined slights” and you’d have pretty much the same as every other MCU movie. At most what he got was an intervention to help him realize he didn’t want to be a bad person. Intervention and therapy are not the same thing.

And again, not surprised. If the mcu doesn’t properly explore their main, multiple movie having characters trauma and issues why were we expecting them to do it with Loki? Gotta keep those expectations in check. And in part I understand that the writers had a limited amount of time and they wanted to jump right into things but if they were gonna have only one episode with an emphasis on this they could have done a much better job while still jumping into the main story and moving on to character growth. To me this is the second biggest sin. And why episode 1 is ultimately my least favorite.

Last but not least, and something I can be more lenient and forgiving about but I still don’t like is the way Loki was written in the first three episodes. The way he was written was more comical to the point of borderline clown-ish sometimes which doesn’t match his personality at all, and don’t get me wrong there are times when it works but for the most part it just comes across as weird, like the writers were trying too hard to be funny and lighthearted at some points and it just doesn’t work, it ends up with him being a joke.

I’ll use a scene that I absolutely adore as a small example: Loki singing in episode 3. It’s one of my favorite scenes of the season, absolutely live for it, it lives in my head rent free in the VIP section but it’s a very flawed scene because Loki would never. Getting drunk on a mission is what Thor would do, not Loki, that is Thor through and through so as much as I love that scene, it is a flawed, ooc Loki scene.

The good thing is the show does improve in how it writes him in the last three eps, they stop trying so hard with the comedy, he’s more serious, more badass, he still has funny moments for example his reaction to Alligator Loki was hilarious but it’s more natural and fitting. So hopefully, in season 2 it will be the same writing team, and there will be more consistency and he’ll be written less comically and more badass.

Moving on to the positives, there are a lot of things I thoroughly enjoyed, starting with having Loki back on my screen and the center of attention- my baby, my darling, my love 💚 I’m so glad that he (and Tom!) is finally getting the attention, and love, and praise, and recognition that he has been deserving of all these years!

It gave me some of my favorite Loki scenes like I mentioned Loki singing it may be a flawed scene but I loved it nonetheless, it had some really cool fight scenes especially towards the end, it gave Loki a friend! A real friend! My baby is all grown up! 😭💚

The cinematography was beautiful, like you can say a lot about this show but you cannot deny that visually it is stunning and the directing was amazing. The soundtrack was pretty good too, I mean c’mon, ‘I need a Hero’? Iconic.

This show gave us Alligator Loki! How can one not love that! It kick started what looks to be the coolest aspect of Phase 4, it gave us bi, genderfluid Loki (which also brought out some of the ugliest sides of this fandom but this ain’t the time or place for that conversation 🙃), it gave me a new favorite character in Sylvie absolutely love her 💛

It gave me hope that the sun will shine again on Thor and Loki! That they’ll cross paths once again at some point and be reunited! And when they are, we better get that hug!

It gave me my new OTP in the form of Loki x Sylvie, they have great chemistry, and they’re super cute together, and they’re so good for one another and I just love them so much; I know it’s a “controversial” ship but I hope they stick to it and we get more of them in s2 because they are the best couple Marvel has ever given us they are passionate and cute and angsty, and they have the foundation for the most epic love story.

In conclusion, was Loki season 1 perfect? Was it everything I wanted? Nope. But ultimately, it gave me more that I enjoyed than not- also, I can tell this was something that was done with a lot of love and joy and effort put into it which as someone who has loved a show where the writer’s room noticeably didn’t give a rat’s ass, I can appreciate a lot.

Overall I’m very happy with the first season; I love this show, flaws and all, and I can’t wait for s2!

[sylvanfreckles]

Hallucinations (FebuWhump 11)

Fandom: Supernatural

Summary: When Cas chose to be human to stay with Dean they all knew he'd have a hard road ahead adjusting to his new life. Sam is only now discovering just how hard that road is.

(Look, I had a rough day, I needed some self-indulgent angsty destiel fluff. You know how it is.)

(Read on AO3)

* * *

The first time Sam realized something was wrong, he'd followed the sound of frying bacon into the bunker's kitchen, not at all surprised to find his brother at the stove. Dean glanced back over his shoulder. “Hey, Sammy. What time you guys get in?”

“After two,” Sam groaned. There was a full carafe of coffee next to a stack of clean mugs, and he eagerly poured a mug for himself and contemplated just sticking his face in. “We miss anything?”

“Eh, same old-same old,” Dean shrugged. He twisted to slide the bacon out of the pan onto a plate on the kitchen island behind and Sam nearly spat out a mouthful of coffee in shock.

“Dude, what the hell happened?” Sam blurted. At Dean's questioning glance he pointed to the side of his face—the same spot where Dean had a dark bruise spreading across his cheekbone.

“Oh,” shaking his head dismissively, Dean turned back around to peek at something in the oven. “Cas.”

This time Sam tried to swallow the coffee, but it was a little too hot and a little too much and he ended up coughing and pounding at his sternum to try to clear his throat. “Cas?”

There was just no way. Castiel, former angel-of-the-lord, who'd given up nearly limitless power to live a quiet, human life with Dean. Cas, who Sam had caught smuggling spiders out of the bunker instead of killing them. The one who'd come home without his coat more often than not because he always saw someone who needed it more. There was no way he was hurting Dean...was there?

“Don't go all Lifetime movie on me, Sammy,” Dean complained. “Dude had a nightmare and woke up swinging. I didn't duck in time, that's all.”

“Dean...”

“Don't make it a big deal,” the older Winchester snapped, pointing a spatula at his brother. “He's been through enough shit in his life, he doesn't need you piling more guilt on him.”

Sam held his free hand up and backed away to lean against the counter. “Does it...does that happen a lot?”

“Comes and goes,” Dean shrugged. “Not like he can help it.” He tugged a tray of cinnamon rolls out of the oven and dropped them on the stovetop. “Hey, let Cas and Eileen know breakfast's ready, all right?”

“We need to talk about this, Dean.”

“We always need to talk about everything,” he retorted. “It's fine, Sam. I'm fine, Cas's fine, you're fine. I'd say Eileen's fine but you'd get the wrong idea and beat my ass.”

Sam snorted. “Real mature, dude.”

“Yeah, but you love me for it,” Dean grinned and winked. “Now shoo, you know how Eileen gets when the bacon gets cold.”

* * *

The second time, Sam had found an opportunity to have a private talk with Cas about everything. Dean and Eileen were holed up in the training room sparring—she needed to test her skills against a stronger opponent, and he always welcomed the chance to try to match her speed. Cas was sitting sideways on one of the couches on the balcony overlooking the war room, an Audubon guide to birds open in his lap.

“Hey, man, can we talk for a second?”

Cas flinched and tried to cover it up with a smile, pulling his legs in so Sam had room to sit down. “Of course. I always enjoy...talking to you.”

Sam tried to smile when he sat down, though Cas's first reaction had him concerned. “I just wanted to know how you're handling things. Being human, being here with Dean, stuff like that.”

The dark-haired man's eyes lowered, focusing on the way his finger traced the edges of the pages of the book he was holding. “I'm satisfied with my choice, Sam. I will never regret choosing your brother.”

“That's not what I mean,” Sam shook his head and turned in his seat so he was facing Cas. “I mean life, emotions...frustration? Anger? You haven't always had a great track record with that kind of stuff.”

Cas wouldn't meet his eyes. He closed his birdwatching guide and hugged it close to his chest, drawing up his knees so he was curled on the end of the couch as far away from Sam as he could get. God, he looked like he was ready to make a run for it. “This is about Dean?”

Sam let out a sigh. “It's about both of you. Look, you've only been human for a few months, and Dean's never had a long-term partner before. I just want to make sure things are...okay?”

“It was a mistake,” Cas replied. He finally looked up at Sam, his expression twisted with grief. “I didn't know...I didn't know he was there, and I thought I was...”

Dammit, this wasn't how Sam wanted this talk to go. He'd just meant to have a lighthearted conversation, make sure Cas was coping with humanity (and Dean), maybe pass on some tips for battling the nightmares. Instead he was about to make his pseudo-brother-in-law cry (really, the handfasting ceremony had been lovely, but with both spouses legally dead there was no way Sam or Dean were actually married).

“Hey, hey, it's okay,” Sam leaned forward and rested one hand on the other man's knee. “I know it was an accident. I just wanted to know if there was any way I could help.”

Cas's shoulders relaxed, but he shook his head. “I'm fine, Sam.”

* * *

The third time, they'd been trying to have a movie night. Dean had apparently been teaching himself ASL while Sam and Eileen were gone, though he'd only learned obscene phrases and jokes at Sam's expense. They were watching some mindless action flick, the kind where the cars had stunt doubles, the men had muscles bursting out of their sleeves, and the women wore scandalously impractical clothing for all the fist-fighting they were doing on the backs of eighteen-wheelers.

The hero of the story had taken a two-by-four to the jaw, and miraculously walked away with nothing worse than a couple of cracked molars. But it seemed the villains had infiltrated the friendly neighborhood dentist, and as soon as the hero showed up to have his teeth repaired they had him tied down to the chair in the exam room.

Dean lunged for the remote and snapped the television off. “Shit. Hey, Sunshine, you okay?”

Cas was staring ahead blankly. His hands, resting on his knees, were coiled into fists, his jaw clenched so tightly a muscle was twitching. Dean frantically waved Sam and Eileen away and knelt on the floor in front of Cas, looking up at him but not touching.

“You're here with me,” Dean said calmly. “Come on, man. Come back to me. I'm right here in front of you.”

Sam could see that Cas was shaking. He moved to grab the blanket from the back of the couch but Dean shook his head. “Don't touch him. He doesn't know we're here right now.”

The younger Winchester hesitated. “Do you want some water?”

“Shh!” Dean hissed. “He knows me. He can follow me back.”

Wrapping his arms around his stomach, Sam settled on the arm of one of the big recliners. Eileen leaned against him and he moved one arm to wrap around her shoulders, resting his chin on top of her head.

“I'm still here, Sunshine. You know me. You found my soul in the pits of Hell, you can find your way back out of this.”

Minutes passed. Maybe hours. Then something in Cas's eyes changed, like he was actually focusing on the world in front of him. Dean broke into a broad smile. “There's my Sunshine.”

Cas stared at him, then down to where his hands were curled into fists. “I don't...”

“Hey,” Dean held his hands up, hovering just a few inches over Cas's knees. “Okay to touch?”

The former angel stared at Dean's hands blankly for a moment, then threw himself off the couch into Dean's arms, hands clutching at the back of Dean's shirt hard enough that Sam could see the fabric crease from where he was sitting.

“Whoa, that's a yes,” Dean teased. “I'm still here, Sunshine. Right here.”

* * *

Sam finally cornered Dean after, when Cas had retreated to deal with the aftermath of his...episode...in private. “You call that fine?”

Dean sighed, his face suddenly lined with exhaustion. “Can you blame him? Dude's been through more shit than we'll ever see in our lifetimes, he's gonna have some blips here and there.”

“'Blips'?” Sam raked a hand through his hair. “Dean, he was catatonic.”

“Ah,” Dean held a finger up. “We call it Cas-atonic.”

“This isn't funny, Dean!”

“You think I don't know that?” Dean flung his arm out, gesturing vaguely toward the dormitories. “You think I don't wonder if he might not make it out some time? Jesus, Sammy, I like the nights he wakes up swinging. Sure as hell beats the nights he screams me awake and I can't break him out of the hell inside his head.”

Sam flinched and looked down. “Is it really that bad?” he asked quietly.

Dean let out a sigh and scrubbed a hand through his hair. “We're working on it. I'm starting to catch on to triggers, sometimes we can head them off. He Skypes with Mia every couple weeks, that's helping.”

“Mia?” Sam raised his eyebrows. “Isn't she the...”

“Shapeshifter therapist, yeah. Figured she might be the only one who'd understand the angel stuff was the normal bit.”

Sam nodded and folded his arms, leaning back against the wall. “And 'Sunshine'?”

Dean's cheeks reddened and he turned away to fiddle with something on the library table. “We needed a name. Something no one else called him, something from now. He said I called him that once and he liked it...but it's not something the rest of the angels knew about. So if he hears me call him Sunshine he knows he's here now, not back in...not back then.”

He wanted to ask when 'then' was, but his brother's body language was closing down. So Sam rubbed his hands together and pushed himself up instead. “Well, hey, what kind of movies are safest for him? We can have a do-over for movie night.”

His brother groaned. “How do you feel about rom-coms without an alpha bitch?”

* * *

The fourth time took Sam completely by surprise. They'd made a trip out to a secondhand bookstore—Dean and Eileen had squabbled the entire way over whether this was a double date or not, with Cas innocently suggesting that a date required food and Dean had promised he could pick the restaurant, and Sam stoutly refusing to take any part in the discussion—and it had started out as a nice trip. The bookstore was massive, so while Sam was looking for some older reference books (they were still replacing some of the volumes that had been damaged when the Stines infiltrated the bunker), Eileen looked for more practical map books and travel guides.

Cas had dragged Dean off to look at the nature section. He was fascinated with the ways humans categorized their world, and he and Dean had rearranged the library so Cas had an entire shelf for his motley collection of well-thumbed nature books.

“Oh, here, Sammy, carry mine,” Dean called as they were leaving, thrusting his bag at Sam.

“Carry your own,” Sam retorted, shoving them back. His bags were heavy enough, between what he and Eileen had picked out.

“They're not even mine, they're Cas's,” Dean shot back. “Don't you love your brother-in-law?”

“Don't you love your husband?” Sam shoved the bag back at Dean. Eileen walked between them at the moment and snatched both Dean's bag and Sam's bags.

She made eye contact with Cas and rolled her eyes. “Boys,” she announced haughtily, stepping into the street to cross toward the parking lot where Dean had left the Impala.

“Whoa, hey,” Sam caught her shoulder and tugged her back just as a sports car screamed around the corner, tires squealing. The driver hit a patch of gravel and spun out for a minute, scattering pieces of rock before their tires had traction again and the swerved off down the narrow road.

Eileen signed something rude in the direction of the speeding car. Sam mentally agreed, but checked over his shoulder to make sure Dean hadn't seen that particular phrase.

Dean was on the ground, Cas curled on top of him. The dark-haired man was completely rigid, arms and legs wrapped around Dean's body to hold him still, Dean's head tucked under his chin.

“Dean?”

“I'm okay,” Dean's muffled voice called. “Stay back...keep everyone back.”

Sam glanced around. The patio in front of the bookstore was basically deserted, and there were only one or two customers milling around inside the store.

“I'm okay, Sunshine.” Sam couldn't see Dean's face from here, though from the muffled tone he imagined it was pressed into Cas's chest. “I'm safe and you're safe. We're all here with you, Sunshine.”

Cas shuddered. “I can't...”

“Hey, hey, it's okay,” Dean managed to snake an arm out and wrap his hand around Cas's upper arm. “I'm right here. I love you, Sunshine. Remember?”

Cas's face crumpled and he went limp, and Dean slowly sat up and shifted them both so that Cas was sitting with his forehead resting on Dean's shoulder. “We're going home now,” Dean told him, rubbing a hand up and down Cas's back. “Eileen said she's gonna cook dinner tonight,” he added, winking up at Eileen.

She sank to a crouch and waited for Cas to look up at her. “Vegetarian chili.”

Dean gave a loud, theatrical groan that actually brought a faint smile to Cas's face. “Vegetarian?” he whined.

“You love it,” she teased back with her own wink. “You can make extra bacon in the morning.”

“Deal,” Dean pushed himself to his feet and held a hand down to help Cas up. “Let's go home, Sunshine.”

* * *

I hesitated about the I love you part, but I figured Dean knew that was one of the "now" phrases that would help Cas remember where and when he is.

It's past my bedtime. I hope you enjoyed my self-indulgent fluff and maybe some day I'll write a story where Cas is the partner taking care of Dean...although that's not my style :D

[overthinkingkdrama]

Jona’s Top 10 Dramas of 2019

A couple words about how I do these lists. Firstly, I only count as “2019 dramas” shows that finished airing in 2019, therefore dramas that started airing in 2018 but finished in the early months of 2019 have been included in my process, but dramas that are currently airing and will finish in 2020 have not been included. Secondly, this list is more based on my subjective experience with each of these dramas than my objective assessment on things like acting, writing and production values, though naturally I take the latter into account when forming my opinions.

Also: Yay! This year I managed to write a full review on every drama that wound up in my top ten, so feel free to click the link on each title and check those out if you want to read my detailed thoughts.

10. Hotel Del Luna

I have a somewhat Stockholm Syndrome-y relationship with Hong Sisters dramas. Though a lot of them are not excellent, or stumble a bit in the execution, I can’t seem to stop watching them. And yes, I’ve seen them all. Something about their particular blend of fantasy, romance and camp just works for me. I do think Hotel Del Luna plays to their strengths. Somewhat like if they got to take a second run at Master’s Sun but with their dream budget, and it’s just fun. This drama is gorgeous to look at. However, it is Lee Ji Eun, aka IU, who carries the entire drama on her lovely shoulders with her mesmerizing presence as Jang Man Wol.

Bottom Line: It shouldn’t be this way, but it’s so rare to get a mainstream drama where the female lead is allowed to be truly dark and flawed, or for a drama to fully focus on its heroine’s journey through the whole run.

9. Encounter

I was somewhat disappointed by the ending of this drama, and I think that might have made me unduly harsh when I looked back at it earlier in the year. However, I got the chance to rewatch episodes with a friend and was reminded of the soft, romantic escapism of this drama. Ultimately that’s the reason this ended up in the list. I like that it plays the rich woman/poor man, noona-romance tropes entirely straight and I liked the quixotic fairy tale it was unapologetically trying to sell me. Park Bo Gum and Song Hye Gyo are a noona-romance dream team up that I’m glad I got to see at least once in my lifetime.

Bottom Line: If you don’t like your dramas slow-paced and highly sentimental then this might not be the show for you, but I can appreciate a drama that knows exactly what kind of show it is and tries to do one thing well.

8. The Light in Your Eyes

If there’s any common theme to these favorites lists in previous years, it’s that they usually include dramas that took me by surprise and did something I haven’t seen before. The Light In Your Eyes fits that description so well, not just because of oddly dark tone or the quirky premise it presents in the first episodes, but because it’s a drama dedicated to showcasing the talents of the veteran actress, Kim Hye Ja, with whom the lead character shares a name. Of the dramas on the list this one made me cry the hardest.

Bottom Line: The Light In Your Eyes is a drama that has a greater emotional coherence than it does logical sense. In fact, if you think about the plot too hard it falls apart entirely. But it feels true, and that’s why it hit me so hard.

7. Search WWW

In my review I called Search a “female power fantasy” and I still think that’s a good description. It’s also sexy romantic fantasy, twice a noona romance, and a corporate drama focused on the very contemporary issues of powerful search engine companies and how they affect the information we see and the way we view the world. I think any of those is an interesting enough angle to make a drama about, maybe several dramas. If this show has one major flaw, it might be trying to wear too many hats at once. But I salute the creators for trying to make us something different than the typical pretty boy chaebol story, and giving us not one but three female characters filling those typically male roles.

Bottom Line: I do believe this drama deserves more love and respect than it got from a fandom that at least in theory cares about women’s stories. But I also understand why a lot of people didn’t connect with the lead character or the business stuff. But for me there was something about the lead couple that rang true and resonated with me.

6. WATCHER

Every time I watch a thriller, I’m hoping for something like WATCHER. Something with deep, complex, gray characters and a story full of twists and turns that keeps me engaged and guessing from episode one until the finale. Add on top of that a powerful cast who can really do justice to these substantial characters, you’ve got a winning recipe. OCN produces a lot of dramas in this genre, and they seem to be more prone to produce sequels than most other networks. Unfortunately, that also means a lot of the dramas they make feel paint-by-numbers and empty on the inside. WATCHER is one of those shows that reminds me why I keep coming back to this network and this kind of story time and again.

Bottom Line: This is one of those dramas that has you second guessing yourself even when they come right out and give you the answer, keeping you in a perpetual state of distrust along with the characters. But it’s built on the strong backbone of complicated and dynamic character relationships, which is why it is one of this year’s best.

5. Be Melodramatic

The higher I get up this list the harder time I have boiling down my thoughts on these dramas to one pithy paragraph. Often even I don’t know what kind of dramas are going to steal my heart. I have a particular weakness for dramas that can make me both laugh and cry, and then laugh through the tears. Dramas like Go Back Couple and Matrimonial Chaos that have deep heartache folded into the shenanigans. I love a funny drama. I like to laugh, but that doesn’t count for much unless I really care about the characters and their lives at the end of the day. That’s what makes me go from liking a drama to loving it, and that’s ultimately what I’m going to remember about a drama when it’s over. Be Melodramatic is special for the way it deals with heavy subjects in a gentle and lighthearted way, and somehow without losing the emotional impact.

Bottom Line: Be Melodramatic is a drama with tongue firmly planted in cheek, lots of laughs, lots of clever dialogue as well as a meta look at the drama industry from the inside, but the reason it works so well is the vein of heart, love and loss that runs all through the story.

4. One Spring Night

It’s so gratifying when a drama delivers exactly the experience you hoped it would. One Spring Night was a drama that ended up on my radar on the strength of the previews and posters, which promised me understated, romantic slice-of-life. I’d really enjoyed Han Ji Min in The Light in Your Eyes and have been fond of Jung Hae In since While You Were Sleeping. The pairing immediately seemed to have potential, but because the drama was picked up by Netflix, in the US I had to wait until it finished airing before I could give it a shot. A lot of the time when that happens, I see enough of the drama through gifs and screencaps that my interest fades. In this case I was only more intrigued. I’ve still never watched Something In The Rain but watching this drama has made me consider that might have been an oversight on my part. And yet I worry that if I watched it now I wouldn’t be able to help unfavorably comparing it to One Spring Night. This drama is truly something special.

Bottom Line: Because of the restrained, faithful realism of this drama and the two leads who seamlessly embody their characters, this drama has the almost voyeuristic quality of peeking into something intimate and private. It’s a palpable and thoroughly involving love story.

3. Nokdu Flower

I can hardly recommend this underrated gem of a show enough. I know nearly every historical gets compared either favorably or otherwise to Six Flying Dragons, which is kind of the recent high-water mark of sageuks, and I’m going to do that again here because Nokdu Flower is really the first historical drama I’ve watched since SFD that is at the same level of quality. One thing that sticks out about my experience watching both dramas is getting actual shivers watching these charismatic leaders rally their followers around them, and understanding at least in some small part why someone would leave behind everything they knew, pick up arms, and risk their lives for an ideal. Nokdu Flower captures the fearful power of revolutionary ideas in the hands of common people, but doesn’t descend into mere jingoism or sand off the rough edges or try to white wash the dark parts of human nature while it’s at it.

Bottom Line: At its most basic level Nokdu Flower is a story of revolution, and one of flawed characters either finding their humanity or having it burned out of them in the crucible of war. As that description would suggest it’s not an easy watch, but it’s a good and worthwhile one and definitely one any sageuk fan should check out.

2. My Country: The New Age

Compared to the far more traditional and grounded Nokdu Flower, My Country is almost fantastical in tone and at times eschews logic and realism for set pieces, sword fights and close range shotgun blasts of pathos. That’s probably why I love it. The larger-than-life sensationalism of this drama is what pushes it higher on this list than the carefully crafted Nokdu Flower, because this drama appealed to me on a more primal way. It’s so unrestrained and epic in everything from the set design, the soundtrack, the cinematography to the characters themselves and the performances of the actors playing them. Lurid, melodramatic, passionate, intense, suspenseful, romantic, raw, angsty, dark...I’ve basically run out of new adjectives to use while describing this drama elsewhere on this site. Basically, My Country is my id on a plate. Bon appetit.

Bottom Line: While there are definitely misguided and flawed elements to the writing and execution in this drama, somehow all of that is swept away in the sheer pleasure of watching it. If it had been specifically designed to appeal to every narrative kink I have, they couldn’t have made a more perfect drama for my tastes.

1. Children of Nobody

I finished my favorite drama of 2019 back in January, and then got to wait around 11 and a half months to see if anything else I watched last year would knock Children of Nobody from the top spot. It’s a mixed blessing to peak that early in the year. On the one hand, there was nowhere to go but down from here. On the other, I’ve had a lot of time to digest this very heavy show, which is something I definitely needed. I mentioned in my original review of this drama that each of the characters is an iceberg, so much more going on beneath the surface than what we can see. And what I’ve realized over the course of the past year is that the whole drama is like that, in a way. It’s an iceberg of a story, and I was able to pour a lot of myself into it, to try to understand it, and that’s part of the reason it was such an emotional watch for me. I don’t know when or if I’m going to be able to rewatch Children of Nobody, but I hope I can do it some day because I feel certain I would appreciate it even more upon a second viewing.  The fact that this is a murder mystery and a thriller is almost incidental to the emotional core of the story, which is deeper and more lingering than that. The secrets, once revealed, do not diminish the story but only turn it slightly so that you can see it from a different angle.

Bottom Line: This drama is certainly not going to be for everyone. I don’t know if I would say it was underrated so much as it’s niche. The difficult subject matter is naturally going to narrow its appeal. But I do think that dramas that require the most from me, mentally and emotionally, are often the ones that stick with me the longest and make me bend and grow as a person.

I sure hope you’ve enjoyed my top 10 list this year and I wish you joy, success and profound wellbeing in 2020. Thank you again--and thank you always--for following me. I’ve got great things planned for us this year.

Jona

[babevogue]

Shows that made my 2017 better

So last year I made a list of shows that made my year better. Now I will say that 2016 was a FAR WORSE year than 2017 was for me. In 2016 I had academic pressure than was awful and I started a new school and all my friends ended up in different classes than me together, so that was fun. But then came 2017 and was all around just AWSOME and along with that awesome-ness came some amazing shows. Last year I just made a bullet list, but I thought that this year I should make some mini reviews, so here I go:

Fist off, my 2017 was dominated by animated shows/anime, so my eyes have really been opened to this amazing artform this year. HERE I GO:

 My hero Academia/Boku no hero Academia

What an awesome show. I watched this in November/December and I love the premise, characters and plot. It has really breathed some life into the superhero genre and is an all-together fun look at what it would be like if everyone in the world had different super-powers. It has stunning animation and the manga is also super-cool and goes in a great direction. Both the anime and manga is super-recommended.

 Favorite character(s): I love Todoroki, he is awesome (and I’m a slut for angsty backstory so…). Deku is great. Actually, can I just write every character here? except Mineta, fuck Mineta!

 Greatest qualities about the show: The character dynamics! The way the characters interact with each other is immaculate and they just fit together great. I also really like how each arc is structured and paced.

 Negatives: The girls are sometimes a little bit passive for my liking, and if there was an arc with Mineta dying I would not be mad.

Bojack Horseman

I binged this show and fell in love. What might just appear as just a wacky adult cartoon at first glance (and first couple of episodes) is actually a deep depiction of many modern-day topics and problematics such as depression, alcoholism, drug-use, sexuality, sex work, feminism, politics and of course life in Hollywoo(d). The human-like animals might be jarring at first, but it uses the character designs to its advantage with hilarious animal-puns and situations alongside making the show more lighthearted despite the shows heavy subject-matter.

 The show is about the horse Bojack who was a famous sitcom star in the `90s and his slump of a life post sitcom star life and his journey back to stardom. The blend between humor and chilling, haunting realism is amazing to watch unfold alongside clever and real character development that is beautiful to watch. Ironically the most aesthetically absurd looking show on this list has the most realistic story. Great social commentary disguised as a comedy.

 Favorite character(s): Everyone is flawed in Bojack Horseman, but the most interesting characters in this show for me are Bojack and Diane. So, I would say Diane is my favorite to observe.

 Greatest qualities about the show: The way it discusses social issues. Its stunning and thought-provoking.

 Negatives: It’s a little bit slow and odd in the beginning and some might find it a little too sad.

Rick and Morty

I discovered this show around Easter time and WOW! No show like any other on this list handles surrealism and absurdist comedy, parody and satire quite like Rick and Morty. The show about the scientist Rick and his grandson (with his grand-daughter Summer joining inn somtimes) Morty going on wacky space adventures. Ricks dick-ish nature contrasts Morty’s wide-eyed curiosity turned cynicism perfectly. The show has fun world building, alongside a great blend between one-off adventures and overarching plot. Visually the show is both stunning and disgusting making it an interesting aesthetic journey for the viewer. Funny, crazy and surprisingly deep at times. And btw watching Rick and Morty does not make you smarter nor require you to be a super-intellectual.

 Favorite character(s): Morty is always delightful.

 Greatest qualities about the show: Its really funny and has really great world building/concepts within the show.

 Negatives: It sometimes boards on a little to gross and has some growing pain in the start.

 This is kind of a shout-out to a second season of show from last year’s list so:

Stranger Things 2

Such a good “sequel”. I enjoyed every moment of the show (even the controversial Chicago episode). The characters developed, the plot developed, the new characters were amazing and tone and aesthetic from the first season was carefully preserved and used immaculately. The 80`s reference game was just as strong. For anyone who has lived under a rock the last year and a half the show (first season at least) is about the mysterious disappearance of middle-schooler Will Beyers. The year is 1983, location Hawkings, Indiana.

 Favorite character(s): Steve Harrington deserves the world in season 2. I also really like Mike.

 Greatest qualities about the show: Addicting story. SO BEAUTIFULLY SHOT! Amazing acting from everyone.

 Negatives: Ok, I lied the Chicago episodes stagnated the plot to some extent. I just don’t hate the episode as much as everyone else.

 And last but CERTANTLY not least:

 Ok so I’m cheating on this one I watched this show in January but I watched the first episode in December so I’m including it and also I’m so in love and I wanted to include it here rather than next year’s list because I want it fresh in my mind.

 Fullmetal Alchemist/Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

 So, this entry is technically 2 shows. One was created in 2003 based on a manga by the same name but diverges from the manga around the half-way point because it ran out of material to adapt and goes in its own direction. The other is from 2009 and is a straight adaption of the manga. This creates 2 shows with the same central characters, plot and starting points that diverges GREATLY from each other and they are both amazing!

 The plot goes like this; In a world where alchemy developed, you cannot create something with alchemy without having the materials that equals to what you want to make. Example: if you want to create a radio you need all the materials that make up that radio to create it. This is known as equivalent exchange and it cannot be broken.

 When the young brothers Edward and Alfonse Elric’s mother dies they try bring her back using alchemy. In the process Edward loses and arm and a leg while Alfonse loses his entire body and is only left with his soul which is now bonded to suit of armor. The brothers must seek out a way to find a way to get their bodies back.

 IT IS AMAZING! Both versions are amazing, but I slightly prefer the 2009 version also known as Brotherhood. It explores dark and philosophical themes and questions such as mass genocide, the life of the military, PTSD, fascism, war, politics, what is god/playing god, what is the price of a soul is, loss and most importantly daddy-issues.

 There is no end to how much this series deserves praise (mostly referring to Brotherhood here). From the way its gorgeously animated, to the pacing, the way it handles it subject matter and issues and has relatable characters. The character development is perfect, and the plot never meanders or goes into dead ends and concludes beautifully. Even the attention to details is impressive with examples such as the way it shows the characters physically aging and demonstrating where in timeline the scene takes place with subtle hair changes. Fullmetal Alchemist (brotherhood) is like watching someone pouring all the puzzle-pieces out on the table and watching someone cleverly and creatively putting them together, thus creating a magnificent art-piece in the in the process. I would also like to mention one of the most amazing aspects of both versions being the way female characters actions, traits, part in the plot, abilities and dialogue are some of the best female writing I have ever seen. Ironically enough in a work marked towards teenage boys.

Favorite character(s): Fullmetal Alchemist is the kind of show that I like to call having “parks and rec”-syndrome, where genually love everyone, however If I have to pick I might say Winry. I absolutly lover her and I think she is a great role model, hillarious and greatly written. 

Greatest qualities about the show: The way it deals with its subject-matter. And also everything else about the show, but especially that. 

Negatives: Nothing about the show, just a little girl and her dog that im a little tierd being meme-ed to death on reddit but also kinda laugh so im a little bit conflicted, but there is no negatives that I can think of. 

That was it, bye-bye 2017, I watched some fine televison in your year, and I hope to find some just as good in 2018. 

[drink-n-watch]

Are you a loyal anime fan? Do you stand by those shows which have brought you joy?

Lately, I’ve read a few think pieces on how people’s preconceptions can colour our enjoyment of a show. How going into an anime with preconceived notions or expectations based on other people’s experiences, inevitably affects what we end up getting out of our watching experience. But what about the reverse case scenario.

it’s a reverse harem!

Have you ever stumbled across a title you’d never heard of before and thoroughly enjoyed, only to discover that your hidden gem is widely reviled by the anime community? Do you remain faithful to your new love or do you disavow it? Are you suddenly ashamed to admit you enjoyed the show? Do you go as far as downgrading it in your own mind, admitting to yourself that is was indeed riddled with flaws, or do you feel compelled to defend it against accusations you don’t really believe are true?

What if you thought a title was really so-so but endlessly see it described as a classic, a masterpiece, an undeniable work of art? Do you pretend to like it? Do you add it to your top 10 lists just to fit in? Do you avoid giving any opinion or at least try to soften the blow with excuses like: “I was really young when I saw that”?

I know I do.

It’s stupid of course. I end up getting nonsense recommendations for new shows because it’s based on skewed data. Or I find myself sitting through movies or shows I know I won’t enjoy because I somehow didn’t manage to scrape together the microscopic amount of courage required to admit that I don’t like a particular director or studio. On the flip side, I also can’t gush over whatever silly, stupid little show is making me super happy at the moment because I’m afraid people will judge me. Despite the fact that I know no one cares about my anime tastes, at least not enough to actually have them affect their opinion of me.

yes, yes tell me more of this awnimou you like so much – everyone I know

I want to watch shows I like – and I want those types of shows to get made, but people won’t know that unless I tell them. So? Well…As my own feeble attempt at some kind of earnestness, I give you my top 9 animes I’m either ashamed of liking or embarrassed of not getting. Let’s all celebrate our lack of good taste together!

In random order:

😊 The Royal Tutor

I’m not as stupid as I look. I realize this show is just a lighthearted excuse to bring together a flock of beautifully drawn bishies and cash in on the hormonal audience ready to devour it. The animation is minimal, the historic setting is laughable and characters and storyline are all more or less surface level but that’s not what this show was for… It’s paced well, the easy humour may be uninspired but it’s familiar and comforting. What it did do, it did well. The pretty pretty characters are super likeable for all their lack of developments and by golly I would watch another season the second it came out. I would leave work early and everything.

☹ Sakamoto desu ka

When this show came out there was so much hype, even I heard of it. This was recommended to me by just about everybody – the one friend that watches anime, blogs, youtubers even MAL. Everyone told me that this is comedy gold – one of the most hilarious shows to come out in recent years and well, I didn’t get it… My sense of humour is important to me, it’s the one quality I’m actually proud of. I am quick with a laugh and need very little to find the funny in a situation and although Sakamoto wasn’t bad I just didn’t find it that funny and ended up dropping it after 6 episodes or so. I’m very worried that I’m growing dull.

😊 Black Butler II

Black butler, in all its iterations, has long been a guilty pleasure of mine. I am honestly ashamed of liking this show so much. It’s just sooooo emo and gothicky and teenage angsty and I love all of  it. At least it’s fairly popular except I’m a black sheep even among Black Butler fans because my clear favourite is season 2. Most fans will stop talking to me at this point, I understand. But, I adore Alois, I think he’s the perfect embodiment of the cheesy gaudy charm that BB brings to the table and the sarcastic ending was the best. Soo yeah – I’m a lost cause.

☹ My Teen Romantic Comedy SNAFU

People love this show, I see artwork from it all over the place and I will admit it’s quite pretty. It also has the word SNAFU in the title which is automatic extra points in my book. But everything else never resonated with me. The comedy fell flat, the drama felt fabricated the pace was off and the characters were irrational. I fluctuated between bored and depressed throughout most of it yet still felt the need to watch both seasons, waiting for it to finally pick up. It did not. I did like the orange haired girl’s front cross strap bra thingy….

😊 Alien 9

OK – I can’t explain this one. It’s a mess of a show but I lurve it so much. One of the few series I’ve both watched and read and reread. I could defend it to you guys. The intriguing parasitic/symbiotic alien aspect with a sort of magical girl deconstruction feel. The jarring violence and real suspense but in all honestly even those high points aren’t fully realized. I can’t tell you why it’s better than people think it is but it is. I’m going to go watch it right now.

☹ Azumanga Daioh

I like the Slice of Life and Comedy genres quite a lot (although looking at this list, maybe I don’t?) and Azumanga Daioh is considered by many, a classic. The intro should be! It has its moments to be sure but I just didn’t find it that funny. That aside, what really put me off was the use of a teacher’s predatory and continual sexual harassment of students as a running gag. The show treats it as cute and funny that an adult teacher is clearly trying to grope or see his students naked all the time. I’m afraid that I’m being a stick in the mud or that I somehow missed the distinction between ridiculing bad behaviour rather than humanizing it, but it always skived me out and I just couldn’t shake the feeling. Apparently, I’m the only one who has a problem with this. This scene always made me laugh though: 

😊 Cheer Boys!!

I’ve written a post about this unsubtle cash grab of a show and how I can’t seem to hate it. In fact I’ll just say it, I really like it. It’s indefensible so I won’t even try to but sometimes we just want empty calories. This show won’t bring anything new. There are so many better sports animes out there and you should watch them all before this one. But once you’re done with all the “good” shows….

☹ Spirited Away

Yes, yes, I know – Ghibli, yes genius, yes Myazaki, yes I think he’s really hot, yes this movie is brimming with wonder and charm… I can see the quality but, I mean, so what? Do I remember anything about Chihiro as a person? About any character at all? I don’t, they just didn’t leave a mark on me. I can clearly see the images of what people and things looked like but they have no personalities beyond that for me. I would show this to a small child or an animation student who wants to admire the technical know-how and maybe I should rewatch it. I just didn’t find in it the depth or meaning of earlier titles like Mononoke or the graceful ache of Totoro and I would write more except I don’t remember anything about it…

😊 Cute High Earth Defense Club Love!

Let’s end it on a happy note. Eminareviews named this as the anime she was embarrassed of liking and it suddenly dawned on me that maybe I should be embarrassed too. Sure, the jokes are super easy and the premise is paper thin but what can I tell you guys, this show had me smiling from start to finish. I realize that given the fact that Shinji Takamatsu (of Daily Lives of High School Boys and Gintama fame) was behind this, expectations may have been sky high for some and disappointment was inevitable. I also see that the writers went for some low hanging fruit here, and that they would have been capable of much subtler and more cutting humor but just because it’s a little lazy doesn’t mean it’s not funny. Season 2, now that was not funny….

This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought

Suggested drink: Confidence Builder, alternatively you can throw it in the other person’s face but that would be such a waste…

Every time someone tells you your favorite anime is derivative – drink

Every time some says “I use to like that show before I knew more about anime” – drink

Every time someone gets real nitpicky about an unimportant aspect of your favourite show, like the color palette for example – drink

Every time someone says you should what X instead – it’s so much better – drink

Every time someone tells you, you’ll get it when you learn a bit about… – drink

Every time someone tells you the manga was better – drink

Every time someone says, well I’m more into story driven narratives – drink

Every time someone tells you it’s a poor man’s version of… – drink

Every time someone accuses your show of being cliché – drink

Every time someone accuses your show of being pretentious – drink

Every time someone says aren’t cartoons for children? – go home

Anime confessions Are you a loyal anime fan? Do you stand by those shows which have brought you joy?