#I’m not gay | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

starlightsuffered · 3 months ago

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I’m Not Gay

Info - queer fic, slight homophobia, first gay experience, slight dub con, anal sex, British reader, trying not to cum, stepbrothers, drinking alcohol, compulsive heterosexuality, licking up cum, sharing cum in kiss

We hadn’t hit it off right away, but neither had we hated one another. It was just facts that we weren’t truly family. I was willing to be kind to him, but I wasn’t about to tell him my deepest secrets and pretend we’d grown up together.

Lee was sweet, and seemed to be coping with our new situation well. We weren’t even a year apart in age. I supposed this helped, but we wouldn’t have ever been mistaken for twins.

Despite how odd it felt for our parents to have fallen into a whirl wind romance and to have a new stepbrother, something about Lee intrigued me. When he brushed past me, my skin tingled. When he laughed I felt my heart do flips. I’d even had some….. odd dreams about him which had made me wake up very confused and light headed.

It was our parents’ first weekend away from the house. I’d expected him to immediately call over some mates for a party. He was wiry, good looking, and undoubtedly popular. I’d retreated to my room to read. To my surprise he’d come in unannounced, said he’d gotten some liquor and we needed to do some bonding.

I was now sitting awkwardly in my olive green shirt and black boxers. My cheeks were red because Lee wore no shirt, just sitting in his pants. He said there was no way he was wearing unnecessary items of clothing in the heat wave.

I would’ve done the same if I felt comfortable in my body. I had let my gaze fall to his abdomen several times during this little get together. However, what I felt was somehow more than envy. I couldn’t place these odd feelings, and I squirmed in my seat.

“Truth or drink,” Lee said lightly, handing me some booze.

“Well I hold my liquor well, and I don’t really like to talk about myself-“

“You hold your liquor well, see, didn’t even have to bargain for that piece of information,” Lee said smugly. He winked at me and I was on fire. I let out a huff of irritation.

“I’m a Brit mate, of course I do,” I shot back. I wasn’t sure if I liked how easily he disarmed me.

“You’re a big sports guy? Rugby, I assume,” I said quickly, so he couldn’t be the first to pose a question.

“Not really my darkest secret,” he chuckled. “It was dancing when I was younger, soccer. I’ve never played rugby.”

“So, how about you? Do you like sports?” He asked.

“Do I look like I play sports?” I grumbled.

“You do that a lot you know,” Lee said casually.

“Do what?”

“Self deprecate,” he shrugged.

“Yeah well I’m-“

“British, I know, but you could give yourself a bit more credit,” Lee added.

We went back and forth trading information. He seemed sweet and I was surprised he was giving me the time of day. I had to take a couple shots but he hadn’t asked me anything too crazy.

“First time with a guy?” He asked with a smirk.

“Never,” I shrugged. I was used to people thinking I was gay.

“You don’t need to lie, you could’ve just drank,” Lee chuckled.

“I don’t need to. I’ve never been with a guy. I’m straight,” I ended my announcement with a shrug.

“No way,” Lee shook his head. He was in awe apparently.

“I like girls,” I insisted.

“And boys,” Lee continued.

“No!” I said, feeling a blush creep onto my face. Why did this man insisting I liked boys make me feel so odd? Something was stirring inside me and I didn’t know what to make of it.

“You’re tell me you don’t think about cock?” Lee teased.

“No, I don’t,” I shot back.

“And what one would feel like in your tight hole.”

“Stop it!” I actually stood up in anger. It wasn’t all anger though. There was some other underlying feeling that I couldn’t place.

Lee stood too. He wasn’t a tall man but he towered over me. Fuck, he smelled good and he was very close to me.

“Then let me fuck you,” he said. I nearly fell back on my ass in shock.

“What?” I demanded.

“I bet I can make you cum,” he chuckled.

“That’s a horrible idea!” My voice was getting higher pitched by the second.

“Why?”

“For one, we’re step brothers,” I exclaimed exasperatedly. I threw my hands up, hoping he’d drop this.

“We’re not blood related and we weren’t raised together or anything,” Lee rolled his eyes.

“Why do you even care about this?” I snapped.

“It’s a challenge,” he said with a growing smirk. “I’ve never not been able to make someone cum. How’s this, if I can, you have to do my laundry for a month.”

“Is this the Disney channel?” I asked.

“I don’t think step brothers do this on that show,” he winked.

“It’s not like you’d get it anyway,” I spat. “I won’t cum because I don’t like men.”

“Then it shouldn’t be a problem should it?” Lee challenged.

“I guess not,” I hedged, unsure why I was even giving this any sort of chance.

Before I knew it Lee had lube in his hand, and was taking off his clothes. I felt a bit self conscious and opted to keep my shirt on. He said it didn’t matter, I’d cum shirt on or off. He was one cheeky bastard.

He was tanned and ripped to the gods. His curls fell in front of his face. His dick was uncut and thick. I noticed the maroon tip was already glossy. Without even thinking I licked my lips.

“How do you, I mean what do I…..” I trailed off as I looked at him. I hated to say my own cock twitched. I prayed Lee hadn’t seen.

“What do you mean?” Lee asked, hands on his hips. This only served to show off his body better.

“Like what position…” I mumbled.

“As if you haven’t thought about exactly how you’d like a man to take your hole,” Lee said rolling his eyes.

“For the last time! I am not Ga-“

He crashed his lips to mine. I expected all hard angles, nothing like a women. Instead he was warm and surprisingly soft. His hands went to my hips automatically. He was so confident in this, while my cheeks burned like an inferno.

“I-“

I couldn’t get the word out because I didn’t know what I’d been about to say. I felt like I needed to protest again. I wanted to let him know I wasn’t enjoying this. The truth was, I was, immensely. All the heat was exciting and enthralling.

“Y/n,” he moaned to my utter surprise. His dick was poking my stomach. I wanted to let out a noise but I wasn’t gay. I wasn’t even bi. This was so dumb.

He was unabashed with his own sounds. Low groans sounded in his chest that I was flush against. Slowly his hands moved south. He gripped my ample ass. I sucked in a breath. I felt like every sound I made an admittance of defeat. I wanted to win something in my life, even if it was a fight against my own sexuality.

A finger pressed firmly against my hole. I panted once. He moved his hand away and I missed it immediately. He broke our kiss to suck a digit. His brown eyes did not leave mine. My cock twitched. I felt weak in my knees. I didn’t dare fall to them, that would insinuate that I wanted to suck that big, thick, veiny- NO.

Soon, the wet digit was entering my hole. He worked the tightness open. He was getting so far in on his first try. He must’ve been with a lot of virgin men before. Fuck, why did that turn me on?

“You like that?” He breathed.

“It’s fine,” I choked out. I felt like I was on the brink of something. He was being too nice. I was waiting for the mocking and teasing. I was prepped for the merciless goading, but he seemed to be enjoying taking the virginity of a little straight boy.

“Turn around,” he ordered.

“I don’t, fffuck, have to listen to you,” I gasped. He rolled his eyes and picked me up. He gave an exasperated huff as he tossed me onto the couch. I didn’t know what overcame me as I automatically spread my legs. It felt natural and right.

“Take off your shirt,” he said as he knelt in the opening of my thighs.

“Why?” I asked. I was feeling self conscious about my body as I looked at his.

“Because you’re gonna cum all over your nice shirt if you don’t take it off. I’d like it to be on your stomach. Maybe we can share the load then.”

“I’m not going to cum,” I insisted.

“I don’t know why you keep resisting y/n. You’re so small and tight and soft, a perfect little cock sleeve for a man,” he said with an adorable quirk of his head. I felt my whole body turn red.

“See I knew you’d like that,” he chuckled. Before I could respond he was removing my shirt. I was completely naked in front of him now. As if he couldn’t resist he bent down and kissed my tummy. My happy trail was wet with his saliva. I wanted to close my legs, forget this had ever happened like it’d been a weird dream. I also wanted to cherish every moment.

“Get ready,” he hummed.

“Raw?” I squeaked.

“It’ll feel the best. Don’t worry I’m clean. You can trust your step brother,” he winked.

“Ohhhh,” I groaned. Lee looked beyond pleased. He nudged his uncut magenta coloured head at my hole.

He pushed the veiny length into my now slightly looser hole. Slowly, slowly, he was pressing and I was full. I couldn’t believe how full I was. It was like his dick was spreading through my stomach and bumping against my heart. I had to make a concentrated effort to not let my eyes roll back in my head.

“Oh fuck yeah,” Lee moaned. He braced his strong arms on either side. The first thrust of his hips was pure heaven. They began to piston at a quick rate. His grunts filled my ears. My legs spread involuntarily.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck, so ripe and pure, first time getting dick and it belongs to your own step brother,” he growled.

“I-I, ugggghhh,” I couldn’t breathe. I was in a different world. All I knew was fullness and pleasure.

“Let me touch your dick, please,” he wailed. He was so lost in my hole already. I couldn’t believe I affected him this way. I was begging myself not to enjoy this, not to want it more than anything in the world at this moment.

“N-n-no,” my voice vibrated from the wild thrusts.

“Come on, fuck, come on,” he was pleading with me. He grabbed my ankles and spread my legs farther apart. I couldn’t help it now. A small whine left my parted lips.

“That’s it, I knew you’d like it,” he cooed. He didn’t seem cocky even, just relieved that I was enjoying the pounding.

“Lee!”

“Let me touch it,” he asked again.

“Oh, f-f-fuck, fine,” I cried out. He was beaming now. His large hand wrapped around my cock. He began to yank it furiously. Wetness was pooling and I couldn’t help it one bit. The schlicking sound filled the room and fuck I could feel him throbbing inside me. His hips were still slamming my ass as he went balls deep over and over.

“Damn, bloody hell, you sure this thick piece of meat has never been inside a man?” He asked me.

“Never, because I’m not-“

“Shut, up, just, fucking, shut UP!” He nearly screamed, punctuating each word with a thrust.

“I don’t wanna hear you don’t like cock, because you’re as wet as a fucking whore,” he whispered.

“Lee,” I murmured in shock.

“I’m not playing anymore, I’m going to fucking cum in your ass,” he growled. He was leaning over me now. He forced his lips on mine. I pushed against his chest but he didn’t back off.

“You love it,” he whispered. “You love it.”

It was like an incantation that worked on me. I became more pliable with every repetition. He continued to snap his hips as he kissed me with longing tongue.

“Mmm, fuck, I love this. I’m going to cum,” he groaned.

“Not inside,” I said weakly. It convinced neither of us.

“Yes, inside!” He bellowed. Warm cum began to shoot inside me. It was a feeling I’d never thought I’d enjoy. I wasn’t too full or messy. I was in pure nirvana. Rope after rope of jock spunk was filling me up over and over.

“I, fffffuuu,” I moaned. I couldn’t think, couldn’t focus. I couldn’t string words together. I was cum drunk, and for the first time, I might’ve been far gone enough to admit it.

“That’s it,” he said gently. “Come on y/n. Let go, let go for a man, it’s okay.”

“I c-can’t-“ I felt like I could almost cry but I felt so good.

“No, it’s okay, feel me fuck this load deeper,” he coaxed me. He was still pumping in and out of me. My legs spread even more. I looked down at my quivering cock.

“Please pull out,” I begged as he hit the sweet spot over and over.

“Why?” Lee huffed desperately.

“Pull out,” I whined in the most bratty tone I’d ever used.

“Why?” He demanded of me.

“Because I’m gonna cum, alright? I’m going to fucking CUM!”

“Cum.”

It was the most simple, easy, plain command in the world, but I think I was addicted to him. My body obeyed. I arched upwards. I couldn’t help focusing on the place where his dick was still up my ass. My cock bounced and painted my stomach white. I was whimpering like a fucking slut as I came. I was so, so, so gay.

“See,” Lee said with a huge grin. “I knew I could.”

He dipped down and licked a stripe through the puddle. He lifted his face and kissed me. My own cum swirled around our mouthes. I was unabashed now, moaning and drooling into the kiss. I wrapped my legs around him and my hands dove into his hair. I felt like I could never separate from him now. I wanted my insides to be the shape of his cock.

“Make it a little easier on me next time baby,” he chuckled. As he kissed my cheeks.

“My step brother just came inside my ass,” I moaned.

“Your step brother is going to be doing a lot more to you, trust me on that,” he winked.

@pmak2002 @softhecreator @plutoispurplw @sp1deyyf4ngz @seungcheol17daddy @jesschalamet @vvsdreaming

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milotonin · 6 months ago

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nobody asked but since i’ve given up on my -old- hyperfixation of dear evan hansen here’s some of my opinions (i might do more):

i’ve seen things saying that some of the characters are bad people, like larry or evan or whoever. i don’t think this is true. none of the characters are bad people, granted none of them are good people. all of the characters are just trying their best with what they’ve got. this is just something that happened to them and they’re working with it. evan doesn’t want to hurt the murphys feelings by saying “actually i didn’t know him” so he lies thinking it was harmless and actually helping them. it just snowballed into something no one could control. and i think the murphys understand that bc they don’t tell anyone at the end. larry did try with connor not as much as cynthia- who tried too hard- but he did at least put in effort, he wasn’t a bad dad. he was just out of his depth, most likely he never sealed with any mental illness so he didn’t know how to help, same goes for cynthia. she was just trying to find something that would help immediately when things take time. she’d go from “one miracle cure to the other” (as the musical states) because she too was out of her depth and probably heard that this was the best or that was the best so she’d try all of them hoping that one would help her son.

evan dating zoe i didn’t like. i get that hed had a crush on her before the whole connor thing happened but it’s weird and wrong. he knows he lied (for a reason) but she doesn’t so their relationship already started off rocky, you can’t keep something that big from someone. what if they got married? had kids? would zoe go like “evan tell the child about their uncle connor, you guys were best friends in highschool.” and so the lie would just have to keep going forever. (this is if he didn’t tell them) that’s not good 🙅‍♂️ evan should have either lied about connor and gave up zoe or told the truth and tried working up the courage to talk to zoe. i understand his deathly social anxiety (i really do) but don’t combine the two. she just lost her brother. her brother just killed himself and you’re on HIS bed kissing HER.

connor and evan would have been such good friends had they met, this is something i think everyone in this fambase can agree on. had they met under the right circumstances they both would have hit it off. given that evan isn’t paralyzed by talking to him. (there’s more to this but i don’t feel like typing)

that’s it for rn

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