#I’m not a shovel… | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cowboyfarooqlane · 26 days ago

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I hate when I feel negatively about myself and I am aware logically that those things don’t determine my worth but I can’t change how I feel!! And then I feel bad about feeling bad 🔄

#Beauty is really a curse #by which I mean the concept—not being beautiful.#That’s just one example of this that I think everyone understands #I actually think that I’m quite pretty tbh like I know in some sense that I’m beautiful but I don’t always feel that that is true #but that’s not even what I try to convince myself of! I just want to not equate that to my social value and worth but like in my relationsh #I’m aware of the fact that I felt that because they were more beautiful than me I felt weirdly grateful (?) and like I had to make up for #that in some way #Not a driving factor in the relationship but it was a weird emotional undercurrent that I tried to suppress and get over that none the less #would occasionally bubble up and make me make weird decisions #But a more emotionally relevant example is my trouble with my desire to be useful and be good #and help other people so I’ll be worthy and people will like me #like I think it’s a strength of mine that I’m caring and like to help other people #but when it comes at the expense of myself… that’s not great. And I don’t want to equate my worth to my usefulness #I’m not a shovel…#*I feel like I should say I don’t blame myself for insecurity about my appearance. But calling it insecurity feels weird it more feels like #an obsession or soemthing #I used to repeatedly go to the mirror to look at my face and reassure myself that the ugliness I felt wasn’t reflected back #and I would be like oh I look fine and then later feel intense worry about that again #so in some ways it wasn’t that I didn’t like how I looked… but a preoccupation with it and fear of perception #like I would feel anxious when looking at people or being viewed especially when with someone I felt was beautiful #and then later I’ll get over it and like how I look without that nagging feeling #I think it also crops up in connection to sadness and loneliness/feeling a lack of connection as well as general anxiety about my worth #Ugh idk what I’m saying

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1driedpersimmon · 5 months ago

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A lil chat :)

#ff #ffxiv #sesame #haurchefant #Tataru #I’m not tagging the others they’re random OCs I just shoveled in lololol #anyways just working on some Sesame relationships :)

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ty-dye-rabbit · 1 month ago

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Megatron’s original designation was “D-16”, and was a miner.

If you change the Numbers into letters:

His name spells “DIG”.

Megatron; Leader of the Decepticons, Gladiator of Kaon, Galactic Warlord, etc—

was literally named. fucking. “DIG”.

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windwenn · 3 months ago

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Stop that right now jimothy

#season 2 episode 5 ‘the apple’#WHY did he do that #Jim’s brand of affectionate exasperation is killing me #I’m sure the writers were going for ‘amusement because he doesn’t need to be told the planet is full of life’#but shatners choice to act as though everything that comes out of spocks mouth is the sexiest thing in the universe #is really adding to the subtext #when I say adding I mean piling on that queercoding with a wheelbarrow and shovel #Star Trek #Star Trek tos #my art #shitpost #comic #sketch #doodle #james t kirk #Spock #spirk #fanart #side note i drew Spock so cute here in my personal opinion oh my LORD

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firstfullmoon · 1 year ago

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Hala Alyan, “September, a week in”

#I’m trying to be enough for this body: one heartbeat flung like a shovel into the day #w #poetry #hala alyan

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ricky-is-too-silly · 11 months ago

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kill them with kindness? Wrong! Gotta get to the bottom of this! 🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️

#will wood and the tapeworms #will wood #why is there no shovel emoji #Wwatt #i swear I’m funny 😿

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troubldteenz · 3 months ago

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them

#turns out I’m not lazy I’m going to shovel out some art and then die #smg4 #smg4 fanart #smg3 #art #smg34

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claypigeonpottery · 2 months ago

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it snowed yesterday 😭

like, a lot

#there was no snow before that #which is bad for november here #but snow is so much work so I’m complaining slightly #shovelling 😭#trudging #terrible #personal

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lightsresonance · 4 months ago

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I just watched both parkour civilization movies and I have so many thoughts about block game

Parkour civilization was restructured so that everyone begins at the bottom layer and makes their way to the top. The other main changes are that the route to the top is neither impossible nor barricaded by design. Failing a jump isn’t an instant ticket to perma death. There’s a universal safety net for so players can keep trying.

But providing actual ways for the lower levels to advance, does not change the fact THAT THERE WAS A LOWER LEVEL WITH UNACCEPTABLE QUALITY OF LIFE IN THE FIRST PLACE WHAT OTHER CHANGES WERE MADE TO THE BOTTOM??? Are the noobs still kept on the verge of starvation?? Is food now free or do you still jump to eat?? Who farms food now that the pros don’t have to work?? Blocks are free for masters what about noobs & pros? And even if anyone at the base layer can make open attempts at the climb, are they provided the practice arenas of the higher levels??

Evbo’s ‘equal opportunity advancement’ solution also doesn’t address the other glaring problem of why parkour civilization was inherently flawed. Some people just suck at parkour! It’s simply not for them and their talents lie in other directions. But being a promising singer, builder, fighter, redstone engineer, or writer doesn’t matter because parkour is the ONLY valuable skill. You don’t like to jump but there’s only one route up. You could be at the bottom forever because your passion is worthless in Parkour Civilization.

Evbo fails to dismantle anything besides the most obvious, corrupt flaws of the system because at the end of the day, he still successfully climbed said system! (With some cheating & help to bypass the locks ofc). So his idea of fairness is having everyone else climb too. But providing people access to his way up doesn’t change the fact they have only 1 way to climb. And that they have to climb in the first place.

See, the other thing that haunts me is the implanted memories. Evbo KNOWS there’s a lifestyle outside of parkour 24/7. Evbo remembers endless land, buildings, crafting, and mining. Resources gatekept by parkour once used to be open to obtain by anyone. Sure, the memories are fake but the dream didn’t have to be. He was champion then god. Evbo knows about the endless ground but didn’t consider making that idea a reality even with endless power at his fingertips. Because he’s so entrenched in this society.

His dream was seeing endless skies and once he got there, he failed to share it with anyone else.

The sky used to be free.

TLDR Shonen protag works within in system they’re given and when system shows its flaws of corruption the narrative solution is to power up, beat up the big villains, and become the most op kid on the block instead of actually addressing societal flaws that accommodates and creates said villains

In this fanfic I will-

#I lied there’s no fanfic and there never will be #just like there’s no santa easter bunny & queen of england #I’m having a normal one out here girliepops #send help #I unironically enjoyed parkour civilization but I found the soft river bed and a shovel to start digging #This silly block game ain’t that deep but hyperfixation wants to make a lake out of it #I’m in my mcyt relapse era #Block world has me in a chokehold again send tweet #minecraft #mcyt #parkour civilization #pkciv #evbo #Anyways excellent series I was enthralled the whole time like a baby with cocomelon #Yes I understand it’s allegory & silly block game but also #this is how I personally engage in content I am unfortunately compelled by

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lunarrolls · 2 years ago

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i want to know what parts of the reunion everyone’s most excited for. personally i want prism grimpoppy, 20 intelligence scribe wizard, to have to listen to fresh cut grass, 8 intelligence robot, explain their flat earth render distance theory

#cr #cr3 #prism grimpoppy #fcg #critical role #i’m maintagging because i do also genuinely want people to rb and tell me what they’re looking forward to #i also want to see ashton’s shovel talk to frida SO BAD. i think frida and ashton and chetney would have so much fun fighting for fun

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bleue-flora · 10 months ago

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Ok, I recently wrote an essay [here] talking about the definition and duties of civil engineering as well as the ethics because of the brain rot @swordfright gave me with calling Dream Sam’s ultimate engineering project. So, because I actually am a civil engineer I took it upon myself to design the title and summary of quantities sheets just like I do at work for roads but with Dream as the project instead. And in honor of angst day sponsored by @sixteenth-day-event, I figured I’d share it because I feel like it kinda works for the prison of the mind prompt.

“Sam’s “ultimate engineering project” he deemed too damaged like a bumpy road or crumbling building that wasn’t worthy of patching and filling in the cracks or reinforcing, that’s too eroded to be fixed and preserved. So, Sam strived to tear him down to the bedrock so he could remake, remold, and reengineer Dream according to his design for the common safety, public health and well-fair.”

{These are very similar to the actual sheets I make day to day, which I shall not share for the sake of doxing my location, but yea pretty much everything has a significance. Some of it doesn’t necessarily make sense but that was because I was more so taking inventory of what we see in lore (so you know I counted ;) lol)}