#why is there no shovel emoji

[ricky-is-too-silly]

kill them with kindness? Wrong! Gotta get to the bottom of this! 🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️🕳️

[little-pondhead]

[gallifreywhere]

It wouldn't be Torchwood without some gory stuff now would it?

Bon Appétit 😘 🧠🦴⛏️

[isa-ah]

ty ty ty u have no idea how much I was hoping for dirt, comfy cozy buried time

my pleasure 🥄🐮

[tweakbroz]

day 4 of no art tablet . these dudes are legitimately so funny because it was literally THEIR music video and they chose to be a group of 3 losers that can’t talk to women.

this was my reference ex oh ex oh

[catmomjudy]

Forget about Chim…I want to see CHRISTOPHER give Tommy The Shovel Talk.

i want to know what exactly chris thinks about buck interrogating him about eddie and tommy. i also want to know just how much of his praise for tommy he exaggerated, once he caught onto what buck was doing and decided to fuck with him a little (like father like son)

[royalarchivist]

Foolish: What's– what's with all the ass shoving going on here? 😰

Bagi: Are you going to shovel Fit in your ass?

Fit: JESUS.

Pac: No–! I'm just gonna- AAAAA– [He runs into the pond to drown himself] I'm done, I'm done! I'm done!

Foolish: [Squeaky laugh]

Pac: It doesn't fit! Fit doesn't fit! Ok?! Doesn't fit!

Fit: Oh no... Oh no... Oh no... You know, I'm just- I'm just gonna– [He walks] I'm just gonna clear my mind, I'm gonna clear my head.

Today is, unfortunately, the one year anniversary of this cursed conversation (which spawned more cursed conversations) 💀

[ Full Transcript ↓ ]

—

Fit: This isn't me! This is not "FitMC" it's "Fit... MC." This is not me.

Pac: Fit McDonalds! :O

Bagi: "Fit MC'' [Laughs]

Fit: It's Fit McDonalds, this is NOT me, this is an imposter! This is a fcking imposter! I can't believe it.

Pac: Fit Mac! Or Mac Fit? 🤔

Bagi: [Laughing] Fit Mac... Ok Pac, I think you should go to the McDonalds and order FitMac!

Pac: No, yeah yeah! I want to order. And also, I can shovel it in my ass so that I can bring McDonald's to the prison.

Foolish: What's– what's with all the ass shoving going on here? 😰

Bagi: Are you going to shovel Fit in your ass?

[They all laugh]

Fit: [Laughs] JESUS.

Pac: No–! I'm just gonna- AAAAA– [He runs into the pond to drown himself] I'm done, I'm done! I'm done!

Foolish: [Squeaky laugh]

Pac: It doesn't fit! Fit doesn't fit!

Fit: [Cracks up]

Pac: Ok?! Doesn't fit!

Fit: Oh no... Oh no... Oh no...

[Bagi and Foolish continue laughing]

Fit: You know, I'm just- I'm just gonna– [He walks away and does the "meditate" emoji, facing away from everyone] I'm just gonna–

Bagi: [To Foolish] Why are you laughing???

Pac: [Laughs]

Fit: I'm just gonna... clear my mind, I'm gonna clear my head.

Bagi: [Out of breath] Just stop laughing!

Fit: I'm gonna clear my fckin' mind right now.

[Everyone continues laughing]

Fit: Yeah yeah yeah, this is- this is fine. This is fine.

[Ramon warps back]

Bagi: Oh Ramon, it's a really nice hole you made here!

Foolish: That was just a wild- a wild sequence right there.

[Everyone laughs, and Empanada lies face-down on the ground]

Foolish: Oh boy... Man, prison's gonna be fun, prison's gonna be fun.

Fit: Yeah... It's gonna be real fun.

Pac: It's gonna be real fun.

[fullofbees]

@pompeiisystem requested: #135 With Beel and a easily flustered mc? Please I'm begging I love the big himbo man with every inch of my heart lol

CW: Talking about masturbation

»»----------► GN!Reader

“Beel, look how many likes your devilgram photo got!” You cheer, showing the gluttonous demon your phone screen.

The post was meant to be inspirational, in a cheesy influencer way, at Asmo’s suggestion. The first showed Beelzebub before Fangol practice, sitting on a bench in the locker room. One hand is slipping on his cleats while the other shovels chips into his mouth. Swipe left, and you’ll find the after photo; Beel grinning in his sweat-drenched jersey, cheeks rosy from exercise, a towel slung across his shoulders. Nobody knows that he’s smiling because, behind the camera, you’re bribing him with food so he’ll stay still for the picture.

“We eatin’ good tonight, chat. Everyone say thank you Beel for the meal?” He reads aloud, head tilted in confusion.

Your eyes widen as you look back to the screen, noticing the top comment under the post. The replies are filled with equally thirsty comments and very suggestive emojis.

The heat of embarrassment starts at the tip of your ears, making its way down your face and neck. Of course, you agree wholeheartedly with the commenters. Beelzebub has no business being as attractive as he is; solid muscle that could hold you like it was nothing, large hands that are used to stuffing-

The demon interrupts your runaway thoughts, “Wait, what does that one say?” He points to another comment with a crumb-riddled finger.

“Oh! Um,” you hum, willing your eyes to focus on the text, “New... masturbation material...”

When you look at the demon, he is already distracted by the TV - an ad for a local restaurant. He doesn’t seem bothered at all.

“Sorry, are these not... weird to you?”

“Not really,” he says as he opens his next snack, “Everyone needs something to fantasize about.”

Don’t remind me. Too many nights have you spent alone in your bed, hand between your legs, fantasizing about the demon just down the hall from you. Would he be fast and rough, or would he take his time? Would he savor you like a delicacy, or would he devour you whole in his hunger? Why did the image of bruises in the shape of his bite excite you so damn much?

“I suppose you’re right,” you say, scratching the back of your neck. This is not a conversation you ever imagined having, nor did you expect Beel to be so nonchalant about it. Compared to your flustered state - if this were one of Levi’s manga, then blood would be dripping out of your nose right now - Beel is almost statuesque in his composure.

“I’ll be honest: I get off to the thought of you.”

Scratch that; blood would be pouring.

You’d bury your face in your hands if it weren’t for the fact that you’re frozen in shock. Beel’s calm demeanor cracks slightly; a faint blush blossoms on his face as he fidgets, one hand nervously clutching the other’s wrist.

Lips part to break the awkward silence, but your mind is blank, and any words mustered die in your throat. Excitement, lust, and anxiety overwhelm you in waves. The crash comes when your phone clatters to the floor, having slipped from your increasingly sweaty grip.

Both of you react, reaching for the device at your feet. Your fingers brush together, and you must bite your lip to keep yourself in check.

Beel doesn’t move, eyes fixed on the sight of his hand easily dwarfing yours. It isn’t until you clear your throat that he returns to wringing his wrist in worry.

Neither of you speak, yet neither of you leave. You begin to mirror Beel, fingers nervously picking at loose threads hanging from your sleeves. It takes a moment for your heart to settle, for your sinful curiosity to outweigh your apprehension.

Your voice is quiet, but not hesitant when you ask, “What do you think I taste like?”

Beel’s stomach roars in its familiar hunger.

“Will you let me find out?”

•••✦ ❤ ✦••• Submit A Request | Read on AO3 •••✦ ❤ ✦•••

A/N: Sorry there's no actual smut TvT but I love flirty dialogue that allows your mind to wander ;3

[archangeldyke-all]

MORE RANDOM SEVIKA HEADCANONS PLS!! i love how you think

more?!!?? okay!!!! :D

men and minors dni

she'd only get on social media to follow you. she'd have to have you help her set up her profiles and stuff, never posts anything (unless she's reposting your pictures with a bunch of heart and flame emojis) and never logs on (unless she gets a notification that you've posted, because of course she has notifs on for you.)

old people LOVE her. she's like catnip to them. some of it is because she's an old grump already, but most of it's just 'cause she's quiet enough to listen to them yammer on about 'the good old days.'

she acts like she hates it-- but you always catch her shoveling your elderly neighbor's driveways during the winter and helping little old ladies cross the road. (she's part of the neighborhood book club too-- just a bunch of elderly ladies and sevika reading trashy smutty novels and laughing over spiked tea once a week. when it's your turn to host, sevika blushes bright red every time you bring her and her friends cookies and snacks: they're all cooing about how sweet of a couple you are, asking sevika when they can expect to have little feet running around the neighborhood)

she quits smoking when you get pregnant with little fucker.

one of her favorite ways to dodge a craving for a cig is to use her mouth for something much more satisfying-- like kissing you, or eating you out, or sucking hickeys into your skin...

every once in a while she'll still sneak a cigarette-- not because she misses it, but because she knows if she goes home smelling like tobacco you'll start peppering kisses on her mouth every ten minutes to make sure she's too distracted to smoke again.

she's sooo frugal. i think the reason she's wearing the same outfit for the whole show is she's just the type of person to be like "it still works?" while talking about her boxers that have a quarter sized hole near the crotch.

it's cute in some ways. she never throws out an old glass or jar-- most of your cups and storage is old pasta sauce and jam jars. each empty bottle of whiskey becomes a vase on a shelf or windowsill-- for little flowers, leaves, and weeds you and sevika always bring home to brighten up your space.

it's annoying in other ways. you have to secretly throw out her old socks and underwear once or twice a year, slowly replacing them with new socks-- but not too quick, or else she'll get suspicious as to why all her socks are hole-less.

she gets a little bit better at spending when little fucker comes around. she just can't say no to her own baby.

taglist!

@fyeahnix @lavendersgirl @half-of-a-gay @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner

@shimtarofstupidity @chuucanchuucan @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther

@ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @emiliabby @sevikasbeloved @hellorai

@glass-apothecary @macaroni676 @artinvain @realgreeniebeanie @k3n-dyll

@sevsdollette

[kaija-rayne-author]

OMG I'm laughing so hard at someone calling me names because I dared post that I had to unfollow people who were toxicly positive about Veilguard and being twats about it to others.

Again, I'm truly happy for you if you liked it. I didn't. You shockingly don't have to be an asshole to others about it. Nor do you need to shit on something other people loved simply because checks notes, some stranger on the internet said that they didn't want to follow people being toxically positive about something you liked. Oooookay then. 🤣

It's a video game. A piece of entertainment. It's fiction.

If you get so worked up over someone else's (a strangers!) opinion that you're slinging ad hominem attacks, maaaaaybe it's time to I dunno, do literally anything else?

Especially trying to get any response but laughter or blocking out of someone like me who has lived through so much that if I talk about even a fraction of it, people go all owl eyed and universally ask in a quiet, shocked tone 'how are you even alive?'

Legit can't stop laughing. 🤣

Update

So, I freely admit that I'm in a bad mood and broke my rule about feeding the trolls. I shall do my due internet denizen duty and block/report.

In all responsibility, while laughing at a troll can be a good tool, it risks escalation, and it's really better to simply block and report. They get their jollies by making people feel horrible. (I wasn’t laughing out of trying to feed a troll BTW. They legitimately shocked me into laughing. I wasn't in a good enough mood to hide my reaction.)

They've either deleted or hidden their responses to me. It's just a crying shame that screenshots are forever. Y'all might want to preemptively block. Up to you.

If they hadn’t been so utterly awful, I'd probably have let it slide. But this behavior is unacceptable in a society.

Transcript since it won't fit in alt text.

Lilithfairen

So you're just a raging asshole who can't stand people enjoying a game you didn't. You should let people know that when you follow them so anyone with common sense can block you the moment they see you around.

Masked responder

That's not what OP said lmao

Me

Oh, honey. You're precious (laugh emoji) Go try to gaslight and sea lion someone else. In your vast amounts of time where you're not being a dick to a stranger, perhaps you should consider brushing up on that 'reading comprehension' thing. I gather it's not your highest skill. Maybe put a few skill points in that.

Me replying to masked responder

Right? (Laugh emoji) Just posting on my own wall, about a Fandom problem that they very clearly demonstrated an excellent example of, and *I'm* the asshole. I'm laughing so fucking hard I'm almost crying.

lilithfairen

Oh, not gaslighting anyone. Because a quick check tells me you're a BG3 stan, which highlights why you don't like Veilguard and the people who enjoy it. Veilguard doesn't write queer people as sexual predator. Veilguard doesn't get off on victimizing non-white people or writing them as innately evil and savage. Veilguard doesn't write a storyline where a goddess is a prop to paint a white guy as awesome and smart and then written as a horrible bitch herself. You're a garbage shitstain of a person who can't stand Veilguard not being a game written for straight white manbaby sensibilities, because you think that's what good fiction is.

Me. Oh, do please keep responding (laugh emoji) you're amusing me and exposing your ignorance nicely. Have you considered therapy? It might help with that whole ... hatred of everyone who isn't me... thing, you have going on. I actually can't stop laughing at the loads of shit you're shoveling. I hope you're getting a decent wage for that. Shoveling shit is hard work.

I did say I wasn't in a good mood.

Anyway... because I'm me... pretty sure a lot of people who play Dragon Age games also play BG3. And liked both. It's not an either or. People can shockingly like both! While accepting that there's no such thing as a perfect game/book/movie/show/anything.

I know several people I'm on good terms with who absolutely loved Veilguard. I didn't, but it's not their problem. I don't make it their problem.

Veilguard doesn't write queer people well. Period. (I'm a queer AF author and editor.)

"Doesn't get off on victimizing non-white people or writing them as innately evil and savage." *blinks*. 'Who do we put across from Harding for a death choice. "Assan."' -John Epler (Not the whole Black man attached to the bloody griffin. The griffin.) That doesn't even get into what having the only Black male companion being part of that choice in the first place says. (Pssst. It's not good.)

Um... the Qunari have long been PoC coded and what they did to the Qunari in Veilguard is nothing short of writing them as innately evil and savage. Seriously? Truly shocked by that one. Taash's first romance scene is really problematic, too.

"A storyline where a goddess is a prop to paint a white guy as awesome?" Did they even play BG3? I've played it 5x and have no idea what they're on about there. And Vlakkith has always been a bitch. (I've been playing D&D since 2E. Is it problematic? Fuck yes.) I guess female and woman presumed people aren't allowed to be evil. Who knew?

Snorts. I'm not white, not a man, definitely not straight, and good fiction is my actual job.

As far as the ad hominem attacks. (Sad head shake) Dirthara-ma, da'len.

All that in response to this post of mine.

[nightwingbb]

When Damian and Jon first get together, how do the shovel talks go? Does Kon actually manage to intimidate Damian, or is he the one who leaves afraid? Which of Damian's brothers talks to Jon, or is it a group effort? Feel free to make that a story instead of hcs if you want haha, your writing is awesome!

thank you so much, anon! and i gotta say, damian "i swear to you, i will never put your son in harms way" wayne would take a shovel talk waaayy too seriously

"if you ever hurt my brother..."

"i would cut off my own hands before i ever hurt jon."

"ok bro chill"

jon probably isn't much better since he also lacks chill when it comes to damian LOL

also, your question about kon inspired the ficlet below!

-

"Does Damian have access to Kryptonite?"

That effectively pulls Tim's attention away from the case reports he's reviewing. "What?" he asks. "Why?"

"That wasn't a 'no'..." Kon says warily from the other side of the couch, where he's been scrolling listlessly on his phone.

Tim shrugs because, well, all of the Bats have the access codes to a certain lead-lined vault in the Cave, but they're not supposed to actually use the codes outside of wold-ending catastrophes.

"Why do you ask?" Tim presses.

Kon flips his phone around so that Tim can see the screen, which is lit up with a post from Jon's Instagram.

It's a photo of Jon resting his head on Damian's shoulder, grinning widely while Damian looks at him with a small, content smile. The caption is a single red heart emoji.

"Jon hard launched. They're officially official," Kon says. "Per the Older Brother Rule Book, I believe it is now time for me to give Damian the shovel talk."

"Okaaay," Tim says slowly. "And... The Kryptonite?"

"Yeah, I won't lie, Tim. Your brother terrifies me. If he has access to Kryptonite, I don't care what the Older Brother Rule Book says, I'm not even going to attempt a shovel talk."

[skzpixie]

Taglist: @mynameisnotlaura, @palindrome969

Kai: Hey, you want some leftovers?  Minho: What's that?  Kai: You've never had leftovers???  Minho: No, because I'm not a quitter. 

-

Chan: I drink to forget but I always remember.  

Kai: You're drinking orange juice. 

-

Kai: Can we talk about that mass email you sent?  

Changbin: Why? It was important.  

Kai: All it says is, "I'm back on my shit".  

Hyunjin, shrugging: The people need to know. 

-

Kai: *pitches an idea*  

Jeongin, impressed: Huh, there might be something here!  

Seungmin, under their breath: Yeah, a lawsuit. 

-

Kai: You know the sound a fork makes in the garbage disposal? That's the sound that my brain makes all the time. 

-

Kai: Twilight Sparkle was the main character because she represented the element of friendship—  

Hyunjin, tied up: PLEASE, I JUST WANT TO SEE MY FAMILY AGAIN!

Kai: I'M NOT DONE!  

Kai: And Rainbow Dash was the sporty girl— 

-

Felix: Coca Cola can remove rust from metal, imagine what it’s doing to your body.  

Seungmin: Pfff, getting rid of the rust, idiot.  

Felix: THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!  

Kai: Hmm... I've been drinking soda and my body's rust free... not sure where you're getting your facts from... 

-

Jeongin: Don't have a bookmark? Try ketchup instead!!  

Kai: What makes you think I read? 

-

Kai: Christmas lights?  

Chan: Check.  

Changbin: Thermos of hot cocoa?  

Chan: Check.  

Felix: Santa suits?  

Chan: Check.  

Kai: Shovel?  

Chan: Check.  

Minho: Alibi and bail money?  

Chan: Check- wait, WHAT?! 

-

Han, taping a knife onto a Roomba: Be free, my child.  

Kai, entering the room with a small cut on their ankle: Who the f- 

-

Changbin: I love you.  

Kai: I love you too. I've waited so long to hear you say that.  

*Kai and Changbin kiss passionately*  

Minho, to Seungmin: You owe me 20 dollars. 

-

Seungmin: Changbin, I don't like you.  

Changbin: What did you say?  

Seungmin: You heard me!  

Changbin, internally: And it turns out I actually didn't hear what the fuck you just said. 

-

Chan: WHOEVER CAUSED THIS MESS IS GOING TO-  

Felix: It was me...  

Chan: ...Is going to be forgiven because everyone deserves a second chance. 

-

Felix: We call that a traumatic experience.  

Felix, turning to Seungmin: Not a "bruh moment".  

Felix, turning to Kai: Not "sadge".  

Felix, turning to Han: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO". 

-

Jeongin: You use emoji’s like a straight person.  

Kai: That’s literally the worst thing anyone has ever said about me. 

-

Hyunjin: What do you think Kai will do for a distraction?  

Han: She'll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That's what I would do.  

*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*  

Han: ...or She could do that. 

-

Kai: Am I a boy? Am I a girl? It doesn't matter. I'm going to burn your house down. 

-

Kai: *cocks gun* Go to Bed. This is no longer a request, This is now a Threat. 

Hyunjin: I’m not stupid, you know.  

Kai: Well, you’re doing a really good impression of it! 

-

*Kai and Felix texting*  

Kai: Come downstairs and talk to me please. I'm lonely.  

Felix: Isn't Hyunjin there?  

Kai: Yes but I like you more. 

-

Jeongin, referring to Han and Felix: Those guys are dorks.  

Kai: Yes, but they’re my dorks. 

-

Seungmin: Is anyone going to tell me what's going on in here?!  

Changbin: It's kind of complicated, but Kai- 

Seungmin: Got it. Forget I asked. 

-

Seungmin: Hey do you wanna hang out this weekend?  

Kai: Generic excuse.  

Seungmin: I can’t believe you said that out loud, to my face.  

Kai: I can. 

-

Felix: CHARACTER. FLAWS. ARE. FUCKING. IMPORTANT.  

Kai: Me when someone tells me to stop eating mayo packets like they’re gogurt tubes. 

-

Changbin: If you want my advice-  

Han: No offense but you’re the last person I want relationship advice from. You tried to kill your significant other. Multiple times.  

Changbin: First off, that was before we started dating. Secondly, they’ve also tried to kill me.  

Hyunjin: It’s true. It was mutually attempted murder. 

-

Kai, singing to the tune of I Kissed a Girl: I killed a guy, and I liked it-  

Seungmin, whispering: Should we call the exorcist?  

Hyunjin, also singing: The taste of his cherry chapstick.  

Chan, appalled: Call the exorcist. 

-

Kai: What’s your name?  

Changbin, whispering to Jeongin: Can I tell Her my real name?  

Jeongin: No!  

Changbin: I’m… Jeongin.  

Jeongin, whispering to Himself: The ONE TIME he gets my name right… 

-

Kai: The shadow realm? No, I’m sending you to Ohio! 

-

Hyunjin: Subs are so fun to play with. All you have to do is hint at what you might do, back them into a corner with a look, or grab their wrist in a certain way and they're a wide-eyed mess.  

Kai: What the fuck kind of Subway are you going to?  

Han: Substitute teachers deal with so much shit.  

Seungmin: Guys. 

-

*at 3am*  

Felix, holding the vlogging camera: *runs into Changbin’s room and turns on the light* Wake up sleepyhead!  

Changbin: *wakes up* Dude!  

Felix: *cackles*  

Kai: *sits up from where they were sleeping behind Changbin* What the fuck, Felix?  

Felix: *jaw drops* Wait WHAT- 

-

Kai: Clownery. Tomfoolery. Absolute fuckery, I am going to revoke your life privileges. 

-

Changbin: Stay foxy.  

Han: Die lonely. 

-

Kai: How many children do you have?  

Chan: Biologically, legally, or emotionally? Because there is a difference. 

-

Chan: Hey, Changbin? Can I get some dating advice?  

Changbin: Just because I'm with Kai doesn't mean I know how I did it. 

-

Kai: “Ladies and gentlemen” is unnecessarily gendered, overly formal, lengthy, and honestly, I’m falling asleep already. “Cowards” on the other hand, is inclusive to all genders, to the point, and dramatic. 

-

Kai: Hey guys, I’m making french toast sticks in the oven. I’m gonna take a quick nap, so wake me up in 5 minutes to flip them over.  

*5 minutes later*  

Jeongin: Kai it’s been 5 minutes, time to flip your sticks.  

Kai: snnnzzzz...  

Jeongin:  KAI YOUR STICKS! 

-

Han: Life is like Kai. It's short. 

[alpinelogy]

📚

Put "📓" or some other version of a book emoji into my inbox and I'll explain the plot of a fanfiction that I haven't written but daydream about.

Okay I have been recently reading the red stain of torment by my beloved @/weegreenbean and that fic is not really relevant to this beyond the fact that it too is about a championship charge in a Ferrari... sort of. The connection is loose and only makes sense to me but I've been thinking about this fic instead.

Anyway let me introduce you to end (a symphony). I briefly mentioned this a couple of days back but this ostensibly is about the 2027 championship but actually this is a Charles character study at heart. The good, the bad, and the others, told from Pierre's perspective. And yes, this is in fact my Piarles magnum opus (dont tell that to flamewall (fire) tho, it might get sad because that one is making me use all my braincells)

Anyway detailed and spoilery rambling under the cut. And also why do I wanna write it and why do I daydream about it regularly:

First of all I fully blame Sam for making me think of this concept all the way back in June, when somehow the topic of Charles and the media games he plays got brought up on their blog. We've stumbled on this topic a couple times since and every single time I've walked away from our conversation only wanting to write this more and more.

In my personal opinion, Charles plays the media game extremely well, he knows his good angles, both literally and metaphorically, he knows how he looks and therefore presents himself in his best light, he knows that he is the grids designated pretty boy who cannot do wrong and he will use that to his advantage when he really is just as evil as the rest of them. You sort of have to be to make it to F1, you can only be so nice, at some point you have to fight. And that's okay. That's why we watch sports at the end of the day. The love is not enough but what if this time it is or something.

With this in mind, picture this: it is the winter break after the 2026 season, Lewis just won his 8th with Ferrari in one of Ferrari's most dominant seasons ever and retired, Ollie gets promoted. It is sort of a universally acknowledged truth that maybe, towards the tail end of the season, Charles has been a little but more sedate. Next year will be his year, everyone knows, he can step back a little. Next years glory will be all his, tenfold whatever glory Lewis got despite Lewis being a living legend and breaking the championship record.

Ollie is first on the chopping block once the season begins, and then comes the rest of the grid, Charles will (metaphorically) kill them all if thats what he needs to get that championship. Its his tenth year in F1, its been 25 years since the 2002 season, he can and he will destroy everyone to appease the racing gods, wins the bloody championship in the most dominant way he can. Ferrari is a sleeping monster and he just woke it up. And he knows what he is doing, at least seemingly.

Enter Pierre. He (and Jack but hes not relevant... sorta. I implore yall to look who Jack's father was very close with. Dare I say if yaoi rpf existed 25 years ago in the scope it exists now, people would write yaoi of them) has been sort of vibing around in Alpine for the past few seasons, solid midfield but he is having fun and thats what counts. He is thinking he will have a chill 2027 until you know. His best friend decided to go fucking feral. After that he is trying to figure if he is supposed to be shovelling popcorn into his mouth or if he should be concerned.

Its the second btw for the most part. Charles has gone full on unhinged and yeah maybe he needs a friend he unconditionally trusts on his side. He trusts his team but they are still the team, they are not a friend you know what I mean? And if Pierre stops being a friend and becomes some sort of a lover along the way then well... shit happens.

The plot is vague at best, but at some point it does have to get ugly, obviously. The universe asks how much for a championship in the most dominant way ever, and Charles does not even blink and says everything even if it does not have to cost that much. Pierre steps in and says wait a minute but obviously, he can only do so much. It will have to be Charles who realizes that no, it is not worth everything, and it has to be Charles that ultimately makes the first step to make sure it does not cost everything.

What I do have however fully outlined is the formatting of this fic. Because something something aesthetics, writing is art and just like with any other art, the way the story is presented too impacts the way the art is perceived. In this case what I'm saying is that I have the chapter split outlined as follows:

Four chapters, similarly to how a symphony is separated (- do not quote me on this I barely passed music class in eighth grade okay)

First chapter is preseason testing to Monaco, we shall see if I include that here or in the second chapter, stc to word count

Second is Monaco to summer break, once again stc if summer break is included here or not

Third is summer break to circa Singapore, this is also where the breaking point occurs

Finally fourth is the end, the fallout, the crowning, the end

I am stupidly proud of this and trust me I have so many notes on the structure and even chapter titles, though I am wavering between oh these are so cringe and I adore these so yall will have to wait until this gets out of jail. When this gets out of jail, trust me, its got the tried and tested Eric strategy team working on it.

Anyway, I am using this fic as my outlet to put in all Ferrari related thoughts. Maybe this is less of a Charles character study and more of a Ferrari character study cause to me they are a monster quite like no other else and this fic is just the outlet to write poetry about this team. I am quite literally frogging several of my older wips just for the imagery.

Also I very much enjoy writing these stories that feel larger than the sport and life itself. Is this about Charles or is this about Ferrari, the sport, how media perception impacts how we view the athletes? Could theoretically this be about any team and driver if I tried hard enough?

The answer to that btw is sort of. There is no other team with quite the history and mythology of Ferrari on the grid, the ghost of Enzo Ferrari is within the DNA of this sport lets be real here. Ferrari itself is haunted by its former glory, Michaels five consecutive championships that were almost violently stopped by Fernando, Kimis one single championship and then the slow death, Fernando and Seb who miserably failed at winning even though they came close. And even though yes, technically Lewis does win his eighth with them just before the fic starts, there is still a world of difference between Lewis and Charles, the Il Predestinato.

Oh and speaking of Charles, I don't think there is currently a driver on the grid with the amount of mythology behind him as he is. Sure, Lewis has a lot behind him but that is tangible, that is real, people watched that legacy be built year by year, race by race, lap by lap. He did not come onto the scene with so much mythology around him already. Meanwhile Charles not only has his mythology, but he keeps touting it around.

Now do I think it is fake? Not necessarily. I would not be surprised if some pieces are embellished or changed slightly, to look and sound better, but too much of it is fact checkable to be fully fake. Does Charles lean into it? Absolutely. But then again, he also cried on the Monaco podium and I think that was genuine. And Ferrari and the tifosi downright adore him, Ferrari is a religion and Charles is at the forefront of it and I really wanna sink my teeth into that and poke at him until he gives me all his secrets.

Anyway there are other teams for who there is a story in a similar vibe to be written, Mercedes and their almost explosive return to the scene before the past few years, McLaren sort of playing second fiddle to Ferrari in how they are written within the history of F1. Heck I've already channelled the vibes once with wonderland with Williams and their fall from glory, and lbr I could probably go on and on. Almost all teams have a story that could with a little bit of skill be written into something larger than life but I think Ferrari has both the plot and the driver.

I am just saying, when Charles wins a championship? He might as well be crowned some sort of a prince, don't think Ferrari and F1 at large will forget that season anytime soon. Just look what happened in Monaco and Monza this year. And that was just Monaco and Monza.

All this to say, my draft of a description for it currently looks like this. Crowning of the Il Predestinato or something idk

Anyway sorry for all that rambling I've just been rotating this specific premise in my head for a while now and been wanting to write another fic like this for even longer. Timeloop is fun but does not have the larger than existence vibes yk? It's too secretive, no one can know you are stuck in a timeloop meanwhile everyone can see this happen, and technically its an outsider pov but with a lot of insight into Charles. Perfect storm dare I say.

[obsidianpen]

be honest op is 🤐 your most used emoji at this point?😂😂😂

i can imagine someone glancing at that specific section of emojis on your phone and asking “why is that there?”.

and honestly what can you really answer to that? because “oh, it’s just my hungry and avid readers shovelling questions in my inbox while digging themselves into an early, fanfiction induced grave😊 no worries” would be the absolute truth.

currently the most used and recent emojis are:

😂😬🤐🥲💞😅💀☹️🫠💕👀

[fishfingersandjellybabies]

I need your hc on how the batfam reacts to finding out that jondami are dating.

I love supportive and sweet but I am absolutely down for overprotective siblings that just CAN'T believe their little baby is all grown up.

(canon? Idk her)

Duke and Barbara? Chill as hell. Happy for you, man.

Cass? Also happy for Damian. SO happy for him. But will also murder Jon if she has to, and makes sure Damian and Jon both understand that. (Jon is lowkey petrified of her)

Steph is happy that Damian is happy. But she does sit him down and talks to him about some things to look out for and things he does NOT have to accept if he is uncomfortable, etc. Also mentions she will kill Jon if he asks.

Tim is...beside himself. How dare Damian date HIS best friend's little brother? Is this another dig at him? Is this some weird evil plot long game to kill him? Why is Jon going along with it? Does Jon also hate him? Is he going to die? Tim stop not everything is about you. Eventually Tim gives KON a long lecture and says if Jon ever hurts Damian, even a little, Tim will destroy every last Kryptonian left in the universe, even him.

Jason keeps showing up on Jon's patrol routes to give him the shovel talk (aka threaten Jon) but with a bigger and more deadly gun/weapon every time. At one point he just shows up in some alien laser sniper ship and Jon's just like 'JESUS JASON, I KNOW, I GET IT.'

Dick and Alfred are similar in that they're both very emotional about it, because they knew Damian at his worst. They watched him grow, and they are just SO happy that someone out there finally sees Damian for the beauty that he is and loves their boy as much as they do, if not more. Also Dick threatens Clark about it.

Bruce just short circuits for like three days and disappears. Damian thinks he's going to be disowned, to which the whole family say they'll disown Bruce first and strength in numbers. But then he comes back and just smiles at Damian a lot, and talks about how proud he is of him, that Jon is a good person, that Damian deserves this happiness, and to remember the code to their stash of Kryptonite. He ALSO rants to Clark about it, who finds it somewhat endearing how worried for Damian they all are, but they end up as just two old men sitting on a front porch reminiscing on how much they adore their boys, and how happy they are that they found each other.

(bonus: Kon texts Damian 'u hurt him, ill end you.' to which Damian texts back a thumbs up emoji.)

(bonus bonus: all the siblings and kon have stalked Jon and Damian's dates. They aren't even conspicuous about it. Damian and Jon just whole-heartedly ignore them.)

[luucypevensie]

🦣 + my bestest skater girl Ruby? <3

AHHHH THANK YOU SM FOR ASKING ABOUT MY GIRL FAE! So sorry for the late response on this…

Tagging the usual moots: @ginger-grimm, @dancingsunflowers-ocs, @ginevrastilinski (i saw that you had glee ocs so i thought you’d be interested)

1. A summer trip they think of fondly: Before starting high school, Ruby, Drew (her twin brother), and their parents took a trip to Tokyo, Japan. Ruby loved it because she not only got to learn more about her culture, but she also got to see so many new things. Plus, she got to go to Disneyland Tokyo! The only thing she didn’t enjoy was the humidity

2. Their favorite Disney Princess: Mulan, hands down. Ruby loves seeing someone similar to her who would do anything for her family and is a bicon! Also, her with a sword? Hot!

3. The first song they would dance to with their partner at their wedding: So we all know that Santana doesn’t like to show a lot of vulnerability, but she would for Ruby. Which is why Ruby picks I Belong In Your Arms by Chairlift as their song because it reminds her of Santana’s softer side

4. If they have tattoos or piercings: Ruby has about three piercings on each ear, and she has a little devil emoji tattooed on her ankle in honor of Santana

5. The scariest moment in their life: Seeing Kurt bullied the way he was by Karofsky terrified her because she feared for his life, as well as her own because if this could happen to one of the most outspoken people she has ever met, whose to say it won’t happen to her?

6. If they would break the law: Oh absolutely, 100% hands down Ruby would break the law because she’s chill like that and has no respect for the authorities

7. Their favorite reality show (because everyone secretly has one): The Bachelor (the sole reason i say this is because ik that Hayley Kiyoko in real life is a huge fan of the show)

8. If they have a favorite chore: Ruby shockingly loves shoveling the driveway in the wintertime (she loves being outdoors, plus it’s a good workout)

9. If they like being in pictures and what faces they make in them: Ruby isn’t the biggest fan of pictures, but she’ll still be apart of them. However, she likes to cause a little chaos by making the weirdest faces whenever she’s in a picture

10. If they get along with kids: She’s alright with them, not great but not terrible either