1waywardbirdlane - Tumblr blog

[1waywardbirdlane]

EAT THE RICH

[1waywardbirdlane]

They aren't wrong

[1waywardbirdlane]

Inchnadamph Bone Caves, Scottish Highlands

[1waywardbirdlane]

so for anyone who's been following along...

over the weekend i sent The Letter (it's actually an email, but i'm calling it a letter) to my mom.

the one i've been drafting for...well years sorta...

The Letter has gotten rave reviews from my sister, who called it "clear and direct and honest," and in it i told my mother that i have been dealing with the effects of trauma, neglect and abuse during my childhood. i reminded her about the turmoil in our house while i was little and told her about how that has stayed with me, and still affects every day, even at 36. i told her that i'm nearly certain that i'm on the autism spectrum, and that i have adhd, and gave a couple examples of how my symptoms were misconstrued as laziness or attitude or "being dramatic" when I was young. i told her i'm queer.

yesterday she responded and said she was doing the best she could. yes of course i was wanted and loved. yes she and dad could have tried harder to visit me more in recent years but you know...life, the caretaking for and death of both of her parents, Covid, Cancer and weather interfered. but she agreed to respect my wishes and won't contact me. she'll be praying for me.

so i'm done. i feel like it's really over. i mean. i still get to emotionally process this... which will still take a while. i don't have a mother. like, i never really did. not in the way most people imagine. not in the way i deserved. and her response was honestly.... pretty much what i expected. it could have been worse, but that's not saying much.

in some ways i feel a lot lighter. yeah i confronted her with things she didn't want to hear but i gave her a chance to step up and actually be a parent who can take responsibility for her own emotions. i never expected her to, but i gave her a chance and she blew it and now i can really walk away.

and she's going to let me.

[1waywardbirdlane]

*in a rap battle* i wonder who your mother could have been if she never had you

[1waywardbirdlane]

uh oh! im fucking gay!

[1waywardbirdlane]

I think most stories could benefit from having two characters whose relationship is just "those two guys" (gender neutral). Most of the time if you look for one of them you'll find both of them. They can hate each other or be the best of friends or something in-between but they just can't find that same spark with anyone else. Their relationship is best described as "do not separate them". They are fully fleshed out characters individually but if either of them are left alone without the other for any reason it feels so wrong.

[1waywardbirdlane]

Him, probably watching me crawl towards him, crazed.

Thank you yet again @emy-san <3

[1waywardbirdlane]

Compliment them. That person you think has their shit together and wouldn't need it or want to hear it. They do. They absolutely do. Their shit is dispersed. I promise you. It is a shambles.

I've had someone tell me to my face that they would compliment me, but for the fact that I already know this or that about myself. Huh???? No. Sorry.

No I don't. In my weaker moments I become an ungrateful mud monkey that has never once internalized a compliment

I adore being told you like me or something I've done. It sustains me, and in my weaker moments when I forget that life is good and happy, you might catch me before I fall.

You ever had someone catch you like that? You can do it too. The ones that catch you have been you in that moment before and know they will be again.

[1waywardbirdlane]

PARENTS AINT THE ONES WRITING THEIR KIDS’ STORIES AND THEY NEED TO KNOW THAT.

A PARENTS JOB IS TO HELP THEIR KID FIGURE OUT WHO THEY WANT TO BE.

IF YOU ARE DISAPPOINTED THAT YOUR KIDS “DIDNT TURN OUT THE WAY YOU WANTED” THEN YOU ARE DOING IT WRONG.

[1waywardbirdlane]

i hope that one day i will finally be ok….i’ll make a cherry pie when it is all over

[1waywardbirdlane]

Obsessed with going "No... i shan't say..." when it's very clear what I shan't say

[1waywardbirdlane]

Moo Deng 🦛💖

[1waywardbirdlane]

Dear sweet gods this is so beautiful and heartbreaking 😫😭

"Gentle Cirrus"

a comic for ClashynoteJess on Twitter!

[1waywardbirdlane]

I love that things have taken a bit of a turn for DU Drow…. He smells FINE, his table manners are FINE, his interpersonal skills are FINE. It’s not like he can’t ever pass for a normal-ish person.

Yes I love him because he’s a fucking freak but he’s also just as fucking “normal” as you and me!

Do DU Drow and Astarion ever go out on dates? I suspect DU Drows table manners are atrocious

Their idea of a fun date probably isn't one that requires table manners, to be fair. And I'm not even talking about bloodshed, Astarion just seems much more fond of a Blushing Mermaid than a pristine 4-course restaurant (the fact that he can't even enjoy the food aside) and DU Drow is largely the same way. They like places where weird shit happens, where people embarrass themselves and let loose so they can either get some stories to laugh about later or take advantage of everyone's inhibited state - and as I've said before, they like meeting other weirdoes like themselves, no night is ever boring if you know whose table to crash.

They don't operate exactly the same way or wreak chaos wherever they go all the time, but being slightly disruptive is definitely more their style than fine dining - be it straight up murdering a guy in the broom closet or making out too loudly in full view of everyone else.

But, for the record, DU Drow's table manners are probably fine. That being said he would complain endlessly about portion sizes and tip horribly if he was dragged anywhere fancy.

[1waywardbirdlane]

why cant i read a book and watch a movie and play a game and clean all at the same time

[1waywardbirdlane]

Lmao get it you adorkable babes

Everyone please rise for the national anthem.