#I’m literally gonna do this tonight
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
Tumblr has 411 employees.
Text
chat. chat i have a question. i know ive always had guilt when it comes to getting things for myself, but like. would it be stupid to drop like $116 on the special editions of two games ive been wanting for a while (now because one of which is on sale)? i mean, ive been saving my money literally all summer to use for myself like i haven’t bought anything i didn’t need and i KNOW im not gonna blow through all of it in school because i don’t go anywhere & dont do shit and i know it’s my money and i can do what i want with it but. idk. it feels stupid. is it stupid or is my brain stupid??
(extra context in tags ig idk)
#i mean i got paid like $700 last week and i get paid one more time next week before i’m off for school but still :/#like. like is thinking it’s stupid reasonable or should i. ahem. ‘treat myself.’#the two games in mind have a TON of content so i know they’re gonna keep me busy for a LONG time so that’s kinda why i wanna get them;m#so i can have long grundy games to keep me occupied and not really want to get anything else for a long time you get me?#i know $116 won’t be a lot from my $3000 account but like. still. idk. :/#ofc i have to jump through the many hoops of setting up a paypal to use in the nintendo eshop#or i could just. ask my sister to help me unlink & relink her card so it doesn’t charge hers instead (because her card’s linked for NSO)#but aside from that i could have that shit like. tonight.#not like i play games a lot on the days i have work because i get home so late but still y’know?#i think it would be a nice ‘good luck back at school’ gift for myself#because i love skyrim & pokemon i really do but that’s literally all ive been playing for like over a year now i need to spice it up :/#anyway chat should i or should i not?#grace being stupid#text post#personal
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
screaming into the void <3
#my best friends boyfriend (who i’ve also been friends with for years) is just. not himself rn#we think it’s a manic episode but we don’t really know but it’s. terrifying lowkey#he thinks he’s genuinely jesus and that he’s conquered time and that he and my bsf are adam and eve#he’s been sending my bsf liek hundreds of texts per day since tuesday but it got really really bad and incoherent yesterday#and i woke up this morning to see multiple texts from gcs he created w me in them#and he keeps being like ‘because it’s 6:20 this is true’ and like ‘i know that at 9 pm everyone is gonna understand’#and he’ll text like 5 times then send a sc of what he just texted like that proves something but it’s all nonsense#i’m just really really concerned cause he really needs help but i don’t know how to ensure that happens cause he’s 19. not a minor#he’s just. not him rn. he’s called my bsf multiple times yesterday when he HATES calling normally#he had his band and his mom over in his apartment yesterday cause my bsf called his mom and h went to his bands show but was visibly not ok#and he saw nothing weird about it even tho he hates having ppl over normally and never without warning#and you can’t get him to see logic because everything you say he just twists around to work for him#to be clear it was not this bad when it started. when it started it seemed like normally maybe slightly out there conclusions he was drawing#but it just got worse and worse like exponential decay and really bad yesterday#he also didn’t sleep at all yesterday night and idk if he slept tonight#i know his mom took his phone at one point but he texted me and gcs w me in it starting at like 6:20 this morning#and my bsf and i and friends are on a trip out of state rn but we’re leaving today and i don’t wanna wake her up until i have to because#this is literally hell for her. but it’s just. scary. i don’t know what to do. i don’t think there’s any good options really for me rn#i want to warn ppl and try to explain he’s Not Him rn so they don’t get concerned but who knows if they’ll understand what i’m trying to say#i know it’s not the end of the world but it really feels like the end of my world as i know it if that makes sense#and my bsf lives with him in an apartment near their college and they just signed the lease for the next year#but she can’t stay there with him alone. not until he gets help. we’re all too scared it’s going in the directon where he thinks it’s better#for ppl to go to the afterlife. which like he never would normally. but he’s Not Him and so like. who knows#he keeps talking about all these different dimensions and how you need to travel to the 7th dimension to understand#my bsf was crying yesterday and she called her mom to explain and she keeps saying that she just wants her jake back it’s really scary#cause he will probably never be the same again. he’ll be similar but different but she wants his comfort but he’s Not Him. and can’t give it#i just. really want this to get better but it’s so hard to see that happening rn
11 notes
·
View notes
Text
Officially deciding I shall not be going to work tomorrow because of the snowstorm so…. Yay? Extra day off?
#driving home after work tonight was bad enough#and it’s just gonna keep snowing so yeah I’m good#if my fucking roommate tries to speak to me though we might have issues#I don’t think she realizes the precarious position not paying the bills put her in with me#like did I already dislike her and find her extremely annoying? yes#however I was willing to deal with that for another couple weeks#but now you have costed me hundreds of dollars#if you try to speak to me or get in my way and it’s not to give me your share?#it’s your own fault if I decide to maul you#I will say I find it amusing in an infuriating way that she constantly goes on and on about how I spend too much time in my room#and I’m wasting my life and ‘hiding won’t make things better’#cuz like. anyone with eyes and a brain could see I’m literally just avoiding you#I hang out with friends I go places I do things when you’re not home I chill in other areas of the apartment#I’m quite literally just avoiding your dumbass and you’re too stupid to realize so you lecture me on depression#like oh my fucking god……#anyways that was a tangent#snow day ig#will probably write some and watch a couple episodes of Gundam and haikyuu#kaz rambles
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
i am so sleeby ausghhsh
#if i get through today without a breakdown it’ll be a miracle#i’m seeing friends but also#it’s literally a competition so i’m gonna get judged#realised that’s what i like about my friends. no judgement we r all as weird as each other and we don’t have to prove anything#i’ll be okay just gotta believe in myself#seeing besties tonight and we r having cuddle pile:)))#n i know there’s a fic coming out soon which im so excited for#i know what i need. jawbone the guidance counselor#k time to repeat his speech to adaine in my head#however fuckin wild it is it actually helps#i have a goddamn medical condition and it is okay#hoooooo boi#let’s do this
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
Everything I know prior to reading the first Fourth Wing book & entering the Empyrean universe:
The main character is Violet Sorrengail, she’s got silver in her hair, & has EDS (representation ow/yay) she’s the daughter of a general… and fighting with dragons?—Soulmate besties with two dragons?—Grieving a dragon? Idk… something with dragons😂She and Xaden have some tension? Everyone seems to like Liam? And her brother either died, is secretly alive, or alive and then tragically dies?
Xaden is someone everyone seems to like? Morally grey. Shadow powers? Bad boy with a good heart? And maybe has some tattoos?
Liam seems to be blonde & beloved by the fandom… maybe he’s a love triangle or best friend? Idk.
Dragons… lots of dragon… or so I presume?
That’s about it I think? … I’m mostly reading based on recommendation + it’s always in my feed & personally (while I don’t share much online this is a big one for this series… partially why it took so long cause the medical C-PTSD is hard & sibling grief is hard this time of year) but the chronic illness is chronic illnessing so I’m excited to see a character with EDS written by someone with EDS (yes I have EDS… and POTS, & MCAS, + CCI & the whole shebang of genetic connective tissue issue comorbidity misery)
#Fourth Wing#first read#read with me#no spoilers please#possible spoilers in this post I guess? like literally I’m guessing idk#everything I know prior to reading#starting the Empryean Series#Violet Sorrengail#Xaden Riorson#Liam I don’t know your last name#I’ll try not to project Manon and the Wyverns onto yall too much but also imma be real my brain is so maasverse im waiting for mates lol#representation#real world meets fictional freedom#Fourt Wing first read along with me#I guess this is the read along epilogue lol#feel free to teach me the lingo like is there a shorter fourth wing tag lol#Rebecca Yarros#The Empyrean#The Empyrean Series#Fourth Wing 1#First Fourth Wing#that sounds funny lol#I think I’ll love Violet and Liam and probably ship many characters to break my heart#the fan art seems fun… I love a kickass female lead so it seems promising#I’m gonna go binge read now for the holidays#wish me luck or whatever they do in the series… pay tribute?#idk I like dragons#it’ll be fine#started the chapters through without stop last night gonna try to hit 50% tonight#old post forgot to queue but gonna binge read to prep for Onyx Storm buddy reads :-)
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
did manual labor for a few hours today bc my best friend bought a house and i learned 2 things
1) i was built for a desk job
2) my girlfriend does this shit every day????? she’s so hot????? the most incredible woman i’ve ever met. wow.
#b talks#i’m so tired#everything hurts#how does she do this#h ow#i’m gonna sleep so good tonight yall have no idea#and i didn’t even LIFT anything?#literally just swept and sanded#??????
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
hey excuse me bc this is tmi and i’m openly very very much exposing myself as the adult virgin i am but like…
how does anyone with a vagina literally deal with the aftermath of sex?? specifically if you use lube??? bc i just got an internal ultrasound done this morning (🫣) and i’ve been literally leaking lube at every turn. i’ve peed, rinsed, and wiped multiple times like i’ve BEEN up in there today but alas my vagina has been uncomfortably moist all day 😔
#on another note the woman who was doing it for me told me that oh don’t worry it’s basically the size of a tampon#the wand i mean#and NO IT WASNT#it had to have literally been six-seven inches and the width of the top of a glass beer bottle#idk what that part is called lol#and i’m literally sore bc that thing had to be twisted and poked at every crevice bc my doctor needs a look at my ovaries so um#but the technician was so so nice and made everything really comfortable and consistently checked in so 👍#i hope both sides of her pillow are cool tonight#on another note she was so concerned about me being uncomfortable with the vagina ultrasound that she suggested doing it RECTALLY#apparently it’s more comfortable ?#i doubt it tho lol but she was really sweet about everything#ANYWAYS#yeah let me know if sex really does make you ushy gushy all day pls bc i’m an adult virgin so#i’d like to know bc i really don’t think someone’s gonna sleep with me any time soon#notsfw#tmi
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
kinda funny when ur brain’s gut instinct is repression so you just kinda watch while your stress and emotions get bottled and corked and the whole time ur just like “that is going to bite me in the ass so bad later but i can’t seem to open the damn bottles without getting glass everywhere so! guess we’ll wait”
#marzi speaks#marzivents#<- not super but this is more negative than i like to be#sorry folks i’ve been mental illness posting a lot#maybe i should get checked for seasonal affective disorder. or maybe this is a trauma response? i DID nearly die this year#i dunno. the trauma stuff in particular is tricky bc if i try to unpack it before i’m ready i could basically just retraumatize myself#but if i wait too long then it’ll do some damage that way too. so i gotta time it right#what i really gotta do is actually contact one of these psychologists i got referred#i think i wanna go for a psychologist instead of a therapist bc i’d like the opportunity for medication/diagnosis if possible#i keep like. almost crying but every time it happens i’m like ‘YESSS CATHARSIS’ and then it goes away. fuckass brain#sighhh. i’m tired. i’m tired of resting too#but tomorrow is a holiday celebrated by eating good food with your family#so i’m gonna try to just enjoy myself and enjoy the day#and it’ll be nice#i’ll probably help cook which i always like doing#i got to chop chocolate tonight. it was really fun i like working with knives#didn’t even get any intrusive thoughts. just focused on making chocolate chunks#it’s satisfying to feel like you’ve made something. chopping things makes me feel like i’ve made something#i want to make more things. i’m really tired all the time lately (different from blood loss tired (i’m relieved i can tell the difference))#and being tired makes it harder to make things#but i’m at my happiest when i’m creating in some way. if you believe in purposes i’d say that was mine#i need to make things i need to put myself out into the world. that way i can look and say i existed. i did something tangible#sigh okay i’m gonna . stop here before this turns into mars shares all of her thoughtfeelings on public website tumblr.com#i know i literally liveblogged my colonoscopy prep to you all (thx again ppl who supported me then btw that was an awful night)#buuuuut i still wanna leave some parts of me a little mysterious. (<- is an open book)
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
YEAHHH CODY COME GET YOUR MAN
#friday night smackdown#bro let them go#I wanna see this so bad#the Kevin/cody yaoi is REALLY falling apart now#I can’t with kevin’s chocked face tho#shocked*#sir you just elbowed Randy in the face. of course he’s gonna punch you#kevin owens#randy orton#cody rhodes#edit thought of more literally immediately after posting this#idk why I’m even so obsessed with these two but I am#I see where Kevin’s coming from to be fair.#in a sense Cody did betray him by working with Roman#you can tell he’s kinda losing it though#like you can see it and hear it. bro is NOT doing ok#Kevin Owens is literally the character ever I enjoy him so much dude /pos#pls pls pls I am BEGGING for more to happen tonight. PLEASEEE#I need more of this scrumptious thing they have going on
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
the fact that it would be not only canon compliant but also deeply thematically relevant to write Citizen Kane fanfic about Charlie and Jed following Coxey’s Army to report on it for the Inquirer is the funniest realization I have ever had.
#like. tbh tbh it’s already canon to me…#like. they just WOULD have… it absolutely would have happened like that. there are ZERO alternative possibilities#i realized this while brushing my teeth tonight and literally fucking died#i’m gonna do a bunch more research on Coxey’s Army and pretend it’s for the local history book i will inevitably someday write#but it’s ACTUALLY because i want to be as historically accurate as possible for this fic#(for the record: i am joking but this is going to live in my mind forever now… i’m gonna be talking about this for the rest of my life…)
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
okay I severely misjudged spaghetti guy he’s actually just really cool
#okay so I came to this flat and he wasn’t here. greeted by a very dirty flat with shit all over the kitchen counters over cling film#I meet first my other flatmate who told me he stays in his room constantly bc of previous bad flatmates#has literally just a saucepan and some salt in the kitchen. so I’m like okay spaghetti guy potentially not great but could just be#how this guy is yknow#on Tuesday I get an email back saying he’s coming back from Norway tonight looking forward to seeing you feel free to use the kitchen sauces#rlly friendly message that I wasn’t expecting. I also didn’t know he’d been on a trip i just knew he wasn’t there bc his door was open#(to a REALLY nice room. multiple rlly nice plants (which he has little care labels for!!!) and it’s tidy and pretty#and he’s got a sheep teddy on the bed)#meanwhile I am in my own head bc I don’t wanna cook in the kitchen until I can clean it and I can’t clean it without moving his shit and#I haven’t seen him yet to talk abt it and I can’t bring myself to talk to him immediately bc I’m dying#and embarrassed as hell by how I’ve been cooking in my room with a microwave and air fryer (loud) and sneaking my shit out of the kitchen#but then yesterday I DO talk to him!! and he’s super friendly!! actually interested in having a conversation and Good at it.#and then he’s cooking and like. spaghetti burns but I’m not there for long and seems to be a mistake (he made the same thing for lunch today#and did Not burn the spaghetti) and is otherwise clearly competent bc the food smells Good and despite leaving a few things out it’s like#washed up stuff isn’t dirty and the sides are better despite still under cling film. more a case that he’s spread out than he’s messy#and now today we talked and i offered to hold onto some shit over summer bc complicated situation that boils down to he’s flying back home#and he cant take all his stuff and had to choose between chucking stuff/having literally nothing this weekend. like sleeping on the sofa etc#and then cleans the whole flat?? which I’m assuming a good chunk is his mess? but he did not need to do that. could’ve easily left#bc there are two people still living here who would’ve had to deal with it and he doesn’t know either at all#and THEN tonight we talk abt food which is fun bc we both ordered stuff. and he offers me some honeydew melon bc he’s been gorging himself#these past two days to finish it before it goes bad/he leaves which is also really sweet#and JUST NOW. I take my headphones out after finishing dinner and hear the sweetest fucking guitar#he plays the gentlest like dreamy sounding acoustic guitar I’ve heard in my life in his room (door closed by the time I leave)#this is actually just a really cool dude#now that the kitchens clear I’m gonna cook tomorrow and will probably offer him some bc otherwise he’s gonna be eating out all weekend#he has extra takeout for tomorrow night but might want smth Sunday#regardless I am just. huh??? left a bit stunned bc of the u turn my opinion of this guy has taken. bc my opinion of him was a reflection#of my discomfort moving to this weird dirty basement flat with two people I didn’t know#well. idk where to go from here. I think I’ll start by talking to him more this weekend. bc holy fucking shit.#luke.txt
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Me vs The desire to write another installment of Cellmates/Roommates vs The fact I still want to work on Prime Meridian vs That one crack fic sitting in my drafts and the Spiderbit fluff that it’s holding hostage vs The 3784948 things I need to do today.
#we all have guns pointing at each other it’s a standoff#see on one hand cellmates/roommates is fun on the other. prime meridian my beloved.#that and little dagger au is literally backstory to cellmates/roommates so the ideas I have for the next cell/room fic would make-#-more sense with cell’s backstory#and I still have irl things to do#think I’m gonna dedicate this afternoon to trying to get through the irl things as much as possible and then work on PM tonight#I WAS gonna do Life things this morning but then I slept in whoops
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
I never should’ve let mustached love bomber back in , he is so toxic and unstable and bad for me and it is ADDICTING
Like I eat it up. I feel myself feeling crazy! I know it’s gonna crash and burn by August so I’m like ? Just lean into it? Enjoy it for what it is and know he’s gonna leave and that’s okay. Life is short like I may just have 1 month of fun, right? Right?
#unhealthy#but#oh well#he wants me to dom him and maybe that will make it work this time#he’s addicted to ketamine and an alcoholic and I see literally so much of my addict self in him#like the need to constantly escape reality due to trauma#like we are both in the we have OD’d have a dead parent and are clinically depressed club#it’s so fun to fill that void with sex and substance abuse#but it’s sooooo unhealthy#it’s like is it showing that I’ve grown some bc I at least can see what I’m doing#self aware to notice but not enough to make myself stop#I’ve been avoiding my therapist she’s gonna have a field day when I talk to her#I should have just blocked his number and I never would have gotten the I miss u text#also lying to my closest friends bc they would murder me if they knew I was talking to him#but the sex we have is insane and we both fuel each others delusions and I think he’s so hot#I also know it’s all fake but I eat it up when he talks about a future together#it’s so fun to pretend and live in that fantasy for a few weeks#even tho I KNOW it is not real#my dumbass listening to Lana’s thunder while typing this shit up#that’s what it feels like!#whatever I’m gonna go out tn with my girls and#try not to have him over at 2 am tonight
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
Had the most vile experience with a patron today 🤩 oh whole bag of mini peppers we’re really in it now
#i’m gonna be real girls. i don’t think a whole bag of mini peppers is gonna fix this one#it wasn’t even technically the worst thing that’s been said to me by a patron/customer but i’m still pissed off about it#like how are you gonna sexually harrass your library tech??? what in the fucking world#it was so fucking foul i literally canceled my plans for tonight it put me in such a shit mood#anywho what can ya do
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
justttttt as i predicted, the new girl finally flaked out completely 🙃
#and on a day when i have SO MUCH SHIT TO DO#i literally had everything scheduled for today that i couldn’t do during the week bc of work#like#i can’t cancel any of this i need to get it done#and i hate to do that to my client but brooo if she fucking listened to me in the first place#and don’t give her 20 million chances#we wouldn’t be in this situation 😭#also i have my date tonight and i am NOT canceling that#i’m sick of having to cancel shit bc of other people’s incompetence fr#i have a fucking life i have things to do just like everyone else#haven’t answered any of my clients calls or texts bc i’m so fucking annoyed lmao goddd#why does no one EVER LISTEN TO ME ABOUT THIS SHIT#i knew she wasn’t going to fucking work out i KNEW there were gonna be problems#the minute she started demanding money and showing up over an hour late bc she was drunk af#like no it’s not my goddamn fault you kept giving her chance after chance#apple babble 🍎#non fandom#jfc idk wtf is up with the world or the ppl in it but it’s such a goddamn mess fr
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
think i might have to do an i-owe-you for tonight’s drabble. i’ve had the longest day of classes and am beyond tired that anything i write will not be comprehensible
#sorry 😟#i also got some bs portfolio something due by thursday#which isn’t a lot of time for what this guy is asking for#so i’m gonna probably have to do some of that tonight too#which sucks because i’ve been in class literally all day#with half an hour for lunch 🧍♀️#that’s what annoyed me the most#rushing my lunch
7 notes
·
View notes