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#I’m just sad but I think many of us are
mbappebby · 7 hours
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pairings: daniel ricciardo x platonic!verstappen!rb driver!reader (face claim: various girls on pinterest)
in which: daniel ricciardo and the younger verstappen are no longer teammates..
a/n: formula 1 will miss you danny ric!!💔
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skysportsf1
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Liked by y/n.verstappen, jensonbutton and 2,016,836 others
skysportsf1: Daniel Ricciardo to leave RB, the team have announced. Liam Lawson will race in place of Ricciardo for the remaindering 6 races of the season.
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username Daniel deserves better💔
username We will miss you honey badger!🍯🦡
username This is not fair, you can’t do this to us!!!
username No one is hurting more than Y/N Verstappen..
username I hate this season.
username F1 won’t be the same without you Danny!!
username No more Y/n and Danny content😭😭
username Y/n looked so sad at Singapore, she must of known it was their last one💔
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y/n.verstappen
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y/n.verstappen: Danny, you’ve known me ever since I was a little kid, you were there at my first race in F4/F3/F2, when I won my F2 championship, when I got a seat in formula 1, my first points, my first win and many more moments.
What is the best one of all? When we became teammates, I don’t think I have had that much fun, laughed so much, loved the battles we had on track, the shoey you made me do after my first win and just joy of being your teammate. I can’t thank you enough for everything you have done for me and everything you helped me through.
You always brought a big smile, laughs and positivity to everyone. Formula 1 is going to be weird without you here, you’ll be missed by everyone (especially me). I love you like an older brother, keep your head up, you know I’ll always be here for you, until next time❤️
tagged: danielricciardo
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username Y/n…what are u doing to us?!?😭
username Best teammates💗
username Sorry Max, love your sister and Danny’s friendship more🤣🤣
username I’m going to miss this!!
maxverstappen1 I’ll always be his favourite Verstappen!
y/n.verstappen No you aren’t??
maxverstappen1 Uhh yea I am!
danielricciardo How have I dealt with you both???
username Everyone applaud Daniel for surviving the verstappen siblings🤣
username I’m going to miss this so much!!
username No one Danny & Y/n content💔
danielricciardo Thank you lil one going to miss you too, until next time❤️
y/n.verstappen ❤️
landonorris favouritism, didn’t reply to my comment
maxverstappen1 My sister over me?! Really mate? :(
y/n.verstappen suck if losersss😚
alex_albon Don’t leave us with her ALONE
georgerussell63 menace incoming..
danielricciardo Good luck guys :)
username Omg😂😂
username Y/n is going to be brutal now as Daniel isn’t there to step in and stop her🤣
username I can’t wait to see what Y/n gets up too😭
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danielricciardo added to his story 15s
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Replies:
y/n.verstappen Thank u Dannyyy, I’ll do it for us!!🤍
username This is so cute!!!
username Live for this friendship!!
username Thanks for taking care of Y/n💗
username I’m betting so much that Max and Lando have complained about this😭
maxverstappen1 I see that you have a favourite Verstappen🙄
username I love that you either call Y/n kid or lil one !!
username I’m going to miss this duo so much..
username Like an older brother to her, thanks for taking care of our girl!
landonorris Where’s my post?
username She’s going to keep going for u both!!
username Thanks for everything Honey Badger❤️
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lilislegacy · 12 hours
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Ok it’s Friday time for Lilis wottg full thoughts!
I’m really sorry, but no.
Even though I feel physically better, I somehow feel even worse about the book now. If I talk about it, it’s going to be too negative. And I have zero interest in becoming a blog that’s all about critiquing Rick’s work and complaining. Not that there’s anything wrong with that, but it’s just not how I want to be. Plus, given the things I typically post about, I think you can all guess what my issues are and where I stand on this book. Maybe I’ll talk about it in small bits at a time, but for now, and in general, I’m going to focus on the good parts that did make me happy.
But I will encourage everyone to be nice to one another. Everyone’s views on the book are valid and no good will come from from all these disagreements. Attacking a blogger for not hating on a book they liked and telling them they have to trash talk the author? Not okay. Telling sad/angry readers that they’re not allowed to be upset or have any issues because “it’s not that deep.”?? Not okay. We’re all PJO lovers, just maybe not everyone is a WOTTG lover. Like, a lot of people love Heroes of Olympus Percy (in fact it’s my favorite version of him), but also a lot of people HATE him in that series. And that’s okay! Disagreeing on characterization has never been that big of a problem for us all to get along before, so why is it one now? We’re all on the same side here! We love Percy, Annabeth, Grover!
I’ll hopefully be back to posting soon. And heads up, many of my posts will all be as if WOTTG never happened. (Because I wrote them before lol)
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vi0let-writes · 2 days
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Alright then, may I request Cyno, Xiao and AlHaitham. S/o pranking them, you know that one period prank girlfriend do on their boyfriend?, telling them to go by her some pads with wings. To see what they actually get for her (like would they actually understand the assignment or actually got her pads with Chiken wings thinking that's what s/o meant) or even told them to buy non-existent feminine products for example "help me buy the Super Jumbo Tampons with Wings✨✨✨" that kind of stuff. This is just crack request, wanting to trick these innocent stoic guys hehe~ 😈😈😈 this can be a modern au if you want
The dividers I used are here
thank you SM for the request!!!! This is such a silly idea! There is a screenshot of the messages for each one, and then a written part below, so make sure you don’t miss that!
characters: Alathiam, Cyno, Xiao
includes: Crack, fluff
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Alhathiam
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“I’m home” Alhathiams voice sounds as he walked through the front door. He made his way into the living room, where you sat on the couch, reading a book. You looked up, seeing your boyfriend with a shopping bag in one hand, and a takeout box in the other.
“oh! Did you get me food too? You’re so sweet!” You cheered happily. He rose his eyebrows confused.
“yeah, the wings you wanted?” He confirmed, his face obviously filled with confusion. You paused for a moment, before realizing that he misinterpreted the request, you then started crackling out in laughter.
“y-you.. thought I mean.. HAhAhaHa! Chicken wings?!” You wheezed out.
“what..?”
“let me see the pads you got.” He nodded, handing you the package over. “Baby, look, here on the package, it says ‘winged’ that’s what I meant” you giggled, taking one out and showing him. “Here, these flaps wrap around to keep them in place.” He looked utterly embarrassed.
“yeah.. I knew that.. I- I.. uh just wanted food..” he tried to play it off.
“it’s okay! I’ll go get these put away and then we can cuddle and eat these!” Alhathiam nodded, ears still red.
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Xiao
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“Love” a voice suddenly appeared behind you, causing you to jump.
“Xiao! Hi” you sighed out. He fell into your arms, face hiding away from you.
“I’ve failed you..” he grumbled out. “I couldn’t find the feminin product you requested.” You laughed, feeling kinda bad.
“it’s okay sweetie, I was just joking with you! Now I feel bad…” you ran your hands gently through his hair.
“what.. why? I went to 5 different places,people staring at me rummaging through things, and being sad for a silly prank? You have no respect for the Adepti..” he huffed, letting go of you and crossing his arms.
“no Xiao! I’m sorry.. come here, we can cuddle.” You apologized. He just rolled his eyes.
“fine.. only for a bit. I’m a busty person.”
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Cyno
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Cyno trudged through the front door, and to you in a hurry, 3 bags in his hands. When he came bursting through your bedroom door, your eyes widened in concern.
“Cy, what?” You questioned.
“I’m sorry, I took so long because I went to like 10 places trying to find the ones you mentioned; but I couldn’t… so I just got a bunch of them, you could stack them!” He reasoned, putting the bags down on the bed, revealing MANY boxes of pads. Your eyes widened again in surprise, before you laughed.
“Cy, you don’t stack them for one, also I was pranking you..” your smile was wide. He was quite for a second.
“oh.. haha, darling, I left work! For a prank?!” He sighed. ”what? You could have said that you were working!” A frown appeared on your face.
“hmm, it’s okay, but what do we do with all of these?” He motioned to the pads.
“I’ll use those eventually.” You bummed out a response. “Why don’t we play TCG to make up for it” Cyno pondered your proposal.
”I suppose I could take the rest of the day off”
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Hope this was good!
you can leave requests in the “ask me anything”
my list of fandoms is pinned in my blog.
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blakelysco-pilot · 1 day
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These Foolish Things (Remind Me of You)
From the Love Letter Series Robert “Rosie” Rosenthal x Josephine Harris (OFC)
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The realities of Rosie's choice to reup for a second tour hit hard for Jo when Harry Crosby is granted furlough. She must learn to navigate the ugly emotions that come with the situation while simultaneously being there for Jean who is going through her own set of emotions at her husbands temporary return. With the help of friends, Jo is able to find the brighter side of it all, with a renewed hope for her future. Meanwhile, Rosie must deal with the guilt of his decision.
Read part 7 Here Follow along with the Love Letters Playlist
It comes in many forms; jealousy isn’t always the green eyed demon that’s depicted in books and movies. Sometimes, it comes as pain. As sadness. Desire, strangely enough. Jo could feel the emotions taking turns, and after they had all run their course, guilt would take over.  
The guilt that she was a terrible friend to Jean, who was over the moon with the news of Harry’s impending furlough. Her best friend who had desired no more than to be in the arms of her husband for the duration of his time away at war, was getting her wish. So then why was she having to remind herself every day to be happy for her? Because it was Harry on his way to New York, and not Rosie? Because she couldn’t understand how after devoting himself to the cause, to signing up for a second tour of duty, didn’t he also deserve a moment of reprieve in the safety of his own home. 
The last letter she had received from him had come shortly after the mail that had included news of Harry’s temporary return. It was clouded in sadness, despite his happiness for his friend. She could feel his desire to be home, the emotions palpable on the page. So much that she hadn’t told Jean of the letter. She had simply read it in the quiet of her room at night, hoping to keep her tears from falling too loudly. 
Could she stand to be here while Harry was home? To see them reuniting, softly, sweet nothings whispered to Jean in passing, her gentle laughter as Harry pulled her into a hug just because he was close. Because he could. She had decided she would leave for the duration of Harry’s furlough. She could return to her parents for the four weeks, but something in her kept saying that four weeks would crawl if she were to go home. So, she had resolved to call Juliet Thompson in the morning. Her friend upstate was still on summer holiday, and she had a feeling she could use the company as much as she could- John Brady was still being held POW, and whenever the thought crossed her mind, Jo couldn’t help but feel guilt all over again. Rosie was safe in England, and she was beyond grateful for it. 
The next morning felt like you could cut the tension with a knife. The days to Harry’s return were drawing near, and while Jo tried her best, she could feel the inevitable dark cloud looming overhead; she had begged for it to not creep in onJean’s good mood, but when she joined her friend for coffee, it seemed it was looming over both of them. 
“Sleep well?” Jean looked over from the stove where the coffee was perking, a half smile on her face. 
“Alright, all things considered.”
“Humid last night…” Jean mused. 
“Slept on top of the duvet again.” Jo half laughed, knowing even if they weren’t tiptoeing around the inevitable, she’d have been a tad grumpy over the heat. 
“Me too…” Jean turned, bringing the now finished pot to the table, placing it on the trivet. “Not even a breeze.”
“We want a breeze, we need to go back to Brooklyn, Jean.”
“That’s a hike,” she had set about pouring their coffee, hands staying busy. “Don’t know how you did it for so long before moving in here.”
Jo blanches at the mention of her living there, still not quite sure how to tell Jean that she’s going to be leaving while her husband is home. Guilt, again. 
“Jo?”
“Hmm?”
“You haven’t touched your coffee, are you okay?”
“Oh, yes…no… I’m fine.”
“Yes no?”
“Jean… I think it's best that while Harry is home, I’m not here.”
“What! Josephine, this is your home!”
“When Harry is away, yes, but your husband is coming home, Jean, and that does not require a third party awkwardly bumbling around.”
“You could never,” Jean practically cried from her seat across from Jo. “You would never be an awkward third party to me, or Bing! We both love you Jo.”
“I love you both terribly,” Jo was trying so hard to keep the tears at bay. “But he’s your husband. You both have been apart for so long, Jean. You deserve privacy.”
“But…what if he doesn’t…” Jean burst into tears, the Harry that had left for the war was someone Jean Crosby wasn’t sure she knew anymore, and it scared her. 
“Oh honey, no, don’t think that! You know Harry is so thrilled to be coming back to you, even if it is only temporary.”
“I’m not sure what to do anymore… I’m a wife but; I haven’t felt like one in so long.”
“You will both just have to take some time to get reacquainted.”
“And you? Will you go back to your parents?”
“I think I’ll call Jules first, and pay her a visit if she’s up to it.”
“Oh she’d love that!”
“Besides, the idea of four weeks at home with my parents after being here seems dreadfully boring.”
“Your mother would dote on you being home, you know that.”
“Dote or smother?” Jo raised a challenging eyebrow at her friend, their laughter somehow finding a place amongst their tears. 
“Maybe a little bit of both.” Jean agreed, knowing that Jo’s mother would undoubtedly be worried from the moment she left the house each day to the moment she came home from work. 
“We still have some time before Harry gets here,” Jo gave Jean’s hands a squeeze. “Why don’t you come with me to see Jules, and we can sneak Vika away from the hotel for a day and go shopping.”
“Wonderful!”
“We can get you all sorted out for your husband, Mrs. Crosby.” 
The phone call to Jules had been easier than Jo initially thought; already missing John Brady terribly, she understood Jo’s feelings on not wanting to encroach on Jean once Harry arrived, and was happy to have the company of a friend nearby. She was thrilled to know Jean would be accompanying Jo on the journey up, and to make the two days with Jean enjoyable for all, she had called Ruthvika and asked if the three girls could stay at the hotel, promising Vika a weekend of fun and martinis. Jules’ childhood friend had been more than happy to set up a room for the girls, and even happier to know she was included in the slumber party. This would be good; it would be a bit of sunshine after a dark cloud, laughter and friendship, and just what Jo knew she needed. 
My dearest Robbie,
My sweetheart, I miss you, and I hope you’re taking care of yourself over there. We’re in quite the heatwave here in the city, and from what you’ve told me, English summers are cooler than here at home, so with that, my love I envy you. It's not all bad, though. Jean and I have taken many trips to Coney Island on the weekends, and we brought your sister with us this last time. The fourth of July fireworks were spectacular as always, and I was so glad Jeannie was able to come with us for that. 
I’m sorry to say I haven’t seen much of her since you’ve left, and even less so after I moved in with Jean. She calls on occasion, and I know she’s keeping busy with school. Your mother says she’s trying to distract herself with you being away and so, she buries herself in her coursework. I do know how that feels. Work helps to serve as a distraction during the day, but when the day is done, and Jean and I have both gone to bed, I feel that is when I miss you most. We all miss you something terrible, and in our own different ways. 
I wanted to let you know that I’ll be heading upstate for a little while, to spend some time with Juliet and Vika. I must admit, I’m not very proud of myself, but it appears I have a bit of a jealous bug as of late, hearing that Harry is on his way home to Jean for a furlough. So, to make myself scarce and not be in their way, I’ve decided to pay a visit to Juliet for two weeks, before she has to return to her classroom to get ready for the school year ahead. I will go back to my parents for the second half of the time; I do miss them and I would love to see your mother as well. 
I think being away from Jean and Harry might be for the best. Please, don’t misunderstand, I cannot wait to meet him, he’s not only my best friend's husband but he's your best friend as well, (we won’t tell Pappy I said that) so that makes him special. But Robbie, what have we done so wrong to not be granted the same good fortune? Why is it not you coming home? You’ve sacrificed so much, giving more of yourself and your life to this damn war, and yet, they can’t let you go, can they? Haven’t you done enough? Haven’t I waited long enough? Your mother and sister, don’t they deserve to have you home too? 
I feel so guilty for feeling this way, but I can’t help but want the same happiness and excitement that Jean is feeling. I regret waiting so long to tell you I love you, Robbie. Why did we wait so long? We could have been spending time in each other's arms long before, and yet we were both too stubborn to admit how we felt. Do I sound silly? I’m sure I do, all of this griping and crying when you’re over there fighting and missing home. I should be checking on you and asking how you are, and instead I’m staining this paper with tears and going on about how envious and sad I am. 
Please, love, tell me how you really are over there, or I will have to seek out Val for the truth. Has it been terribly difficult now that the invasion has passed and the fighting is well underway? I know you’re working and fighting hard, as are the rest of our friends that are with you over there. 
Love, have you written to your mother lately? I know she’s missing you as much as I am, if not more, and would do with knowing that you’re alright. Last week she was worried they weren’t feeding you enough, and had it been anyone else who said that, I may have rolled my eyes, but the way she said it had left me in stitches, Robbie. You know how your mother can be. She comes by at least once a week with my mother to check in on me and Jean, and they bring covered dishes and baked goods that they’ve managed with the rations. I think they’re afraid Jean and I are only consuming martinis. They’re half right, and I will only admit this to you, a chocolate chip cookie does pair best with the infamous Jean Crosby martini. 
We are leaving for upstate tomorrow, so I will post this first thing on my way out the door and hope it finds you soon. I’m counting down the days until this war is behind us. Until we can begin our days next to each other, and end them the same way. There is a future waiting for us, I just wish I knew when we could begin living it. Come home to me soon. 
My heart is yours forever, with all of my love always 
Jo
They packed light; still summertime and incredibly warm, they were able to get away with comfortable sundresses, and some swimsuits. They didn’t need much when they were together- Jules had said it’s the company that counts most. Vika had been a lifesaver and secured a room at her family’s hotel for Jo and Jean for the two nights that Jean would be with them before returning home. Not one to miss out, Jules had stayed as well. Squeezing into one of the beds with Vika while Jo and Jean occupied the other, it had been a slumber party just like the night at Jean and Jo’s home. Four friends laughing until their stomachs hurt, it had taken a visit from Vika’s mother to quiet them down, Jean rushing to hide the evidence of martinis that were scattered around the room. 
It had been so much fun, that Jo had begun to forget why she had made the journey in the first place; until there were three, and they were waving Jean off from the train platform, two with tears in their eyes. The realization of not knowing when their boys would be home striking hard and fast. 
“Two weeks and you’ll be back in the city, right?” Jean looked absolutely riddled with fear as she stood with her bag on the platform, Jo doing all she could to reassure her. 
“Yes,” Jo sniffled, wiping at her eyes and trying in vain not to smudge her makeup. “I promise.”
“Please, Jo. Promise you’ll be there to meet Binger.” Jean gripped her hands so tightly, her eyes wild and nervous. The last time she had seen her so scared was when news of Bubbles’ death reached home, and worry for Harry had begun seeping in like a crack in the roof. 
“I’ll be there,” she winked. “I wouldn’t miss it.”
“Good. I’ll ring Jules once I’m back home. Bing doesn’t get in until tonight… gosh I’m so nervous!”
“You’re going to see that man and forget all about how nervous you were. Now go, before you miss your train.” 
“Jo…”
She pulled her into a hug so fast, and so fiercely, that Jo barely had a moment to catch her footing before hugging Jean back. This friendship, forged in a dark time, was more than two women finding companionship while their men were away fighting. This was sisterhood, and as an only child, Jo had never known it before. The closest person in her life had always been Rosie, and now that his role in her life had shifted, Jean had seamlessly filled in that space. 
“I will see you soon, yea?”
“Yea… yes, yes you will. I’ll have a martini waiting for you.”
“That’s what I want to hear,” Jo grinned, pulling back to give her friend a smile. “Now go on, otherwise Harry will have my head for making you late.”
“Your Robbie would never forgive him.” Jean laughed, wiping at her eyes just as the conductor hollered for All Aboard! 
As the train pulled away, Jean Crosby waving from the window of the car, Jo felt herself become utterly depleted. The sadness that she had tried to ebb away at home, not divulging all of it for fear of guilt, slammed into her full force, and had it not been for Jules and Vika wrapping her up in their arms, she’d have collapsed on the spot. 
“Come now, let’s get back to the hotel,” Vika urged her, gently steering her out of the train station and back towards the car. “Mammi can make us some chai, and we can have a rest.”
“I feel terrible…”
“Terrible, sick?”
“Terrible like I’m riddled with guilt and anger and sadness.”
She doesn’t catch Vika looking over at Jules, knowing that this is more than what Mrs. Patel’s chai can fix, because only Jules knows how she’s feeling, and only Jules can be the one to talk this through with her.  
The hotel is quiet when they arrive back, and Mrs. Patel is at the front desk, a smile on her face as she watches her daughter and friends walk in, but the smile soon fades as she sees the look on Vika’s face. 
“Did Jean get off alright?” She asks, nerves lacing her normally stoic and motherly disposition. 
“She did, Mammi,” Vika replies kindly, joining her mother at the desk while Jo and Jules take a seat on the sofa meant for guests. “Can Juliet and Josephine use the apartment for a little while? I think they…well, Jean’s husband coming home hasn’t been easy for them.”
“Of course, you take them up. I will be behind with some chai and bhel puri.”
“Thank you Mammi.”
The pair on the couch sit quietly as Vika approaches, her voice soft as she speaks to both of them, but her eyes trained on Juliet. 
“Jules, why don’t you two go up to the apartment?”
“Is that…okay with your mother?”
“It’s fine,” Vika’s eyes softened at Jules’ worry over possibly invading the Patel’s personal space, the phrase bundled in her simple question. “Mammi is going to bring up some chai and snacks.”
“Oh Vika, that’s not necessary!” Jo turned to her friend, knowing full well that the hotel needed their full attention. 
“You and Jules need a moment, and I can cover the desk while Mammi is gone.”
“Yes, now you two go right up, and I’ll follow in a moment.” Mrs. Patel is standing next to them, and suddenly it’s as if their own mothers are there, ordering them to eat. 
Nodding, Jo follows Jean upstairs to the apartment, and once inside, she takes in just what it is that makes her friend Vika who she is. The decor, the smells, the homey feel, and photos. It’s all very like Vika, and Jo somehow feels like she’s invading a space not meant for her at all, despite the protests of both Vika and her mother. 
“Jules…”
“It’s just us, Jo. You can say whatever you need to.”
“I just,” the words felt trapped, caught in her throat with no way out unless she forced them up and out into the space between them. “I’m so angry!”
“You’re angry at Rosie?”
���So angry! He should be home, he flew twenty five missions. He was safe, and The Brass pulled the rug out from under all of them!”
“So that’s what happened…”
“Everyone after him needed to fly thirty missions, but his crew was safe at twenty five. He could go home, and he didn’t… he stayed… he signed up for a second tour.”
“Why would he do that?”
“Because he’s too good, and doing the right thing is what Robert Rosenthal does, and he can’t help himself. People are dying and can’t fight for themselves, so he’s doing it for them.”
“Oh Jo…” Jules rushed towards her friend. Instantly, her arms are tight around her friend as Jo  finally allowed herself the chance to let go of everything that had been welling up. Things she knew she couldn’t say to Rosie’s mother, or her own mother. Things that somehow, right now, only Jules could understand. 
“Harry getting a furlough…” Jules started, the words dying halfway as she felt Jo shudder a deep breath. 
“When Harry got a furlough, I just… I wanted to be happy for Jean. I am happy for Jean! But I also wish it was Robbie coming home instead.”
“Honey, you’re allowed to feel angry about it,” Jules took a step back, taking Jo’s hands and giving them a gentle squeeze, leading her towards the sofa in the living room. “He’s been gone so long, and all you want to do is start a life that this war has put on hold for you, and you can’t.”
“Jean was so happy, and there I am playing pretend happy over coffee and then feeling guilty, while the poor thing, she’s so nervous that Harry won’t feel the same for her-”
“Oh I doubt that!”
“That’s what I told her,” Jo shook her head, the beginnings of a melancholy smile taking hold. “But since Bubbles’ death, Harry’s been…distant.”
“Oh you don’t think…”
“I don’t know. And if Robbie knows anything, he’s not saying.”
Jules was quiet for a moment, taking a seat on the sofa wordlessly. She seemed far off, her mind somewhere else entirely; if Jo had to wager a guess it was on a certain pilot serving the rest of his war as a prisoner in Germany. 
“I haven’t had a letter from Johnny in a few weeks…” the words are nothing more than a broken whisper. 
“Jules, honey…”
“I know that letters aren’t as frequent now that he’s,” she stopped herself from speaking the rest out loud, Jo not needing to hear it to know what she was thinking. “Olive writes, and promises updates, but I can’t help but be constantly worried.”
“When did you last hear from him?”
“The start of June, and now, August is on the horizon and I’m scared, Jo.”
She’s beside her in an instant, her arms mimicking Jules’ earlier movements, pulling her close and hugging her tight. Somehow, Jo thinks she can will all of their broken pieces back together just by being there for each other, in hopes that if they love their boys enough from a distance, it will help bring them home faster. 
“Oh Jules, I’m sure Olive would have written if anything happened.”
“I know,” she sniffled, swiping under her eyes quickly. “No news is good news and all that.”
“And bad news travels fast.” 
“Yes, you’re right,” she took a deep and shaky breath, exhaling forcefully to try and clear the fog that seemed to have settled around her. “I just… I miss him so much Jo. I don’t have to explain to you how that part of it feels.”
“We worry for different reasons but we worry just the same.” 
The door of the apartment opened then, and both girls looked up through bleary eyes as Mrs. Patel stepped into the living room. She was holding a tray from the hotel, complete with two steaming mugs of chai and a bowl filled with snacks for them. Her gaze, normally hard and all business, seemed to soften at the sight of them. Crossing the room quickly, she placed the tray down on the table beside the sofa before coming to stand in front of them. Wordlessly, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a simple white handkerchief, handing it to Jules. 
“Thank you Mrs. Patel,” Juliet accepts the handkerchief and gently dabs at her eyes, careful not to get too much of her makeup on the clean, white fabric. Afraid to leave a stain, a reminder of this moment. “I’m sorry, I don’t want to get this dirty.”
“That is what the washing is for, Juliet. Go on, both of you.”
Nodding, Jules continues to wipe her tears before passing it to Jo, who is in the same state as she is. Quietly letting the pain escape like rivers down her cheeks. 
“Thank you for being so good to Ruthvika, ” Mrs. Patel speaks quietly, unsure of what she should exactly be saying, but knowing that she must offer something to her daughter's oldest friend, and now, Josephine. “Remember, we must continue to fight here every day; our own wars, they are painful, but keep hope, both of you, that they will come home to you safe.”
They were words that only a mother could speak. And because only a mother could offer that comfort, when she leaned forward to pull both girls close to her for the briefest of moments, it was the gauze over a wound that had spread so deep, neither Jo nor Jules were sure it would ever heal. Hope, it seemed, would fill the deep, painful space over time, and it would close the gap until one day, hopefully, the wound did not exist at all. 
——————————————————————————————————
It felt longer coming home from upstate this time. Jo had attributed that to not having Jean for companionship. But she was in her home, now with Harry, who had arrived in New York safely, two weeks ago. The jealousy had seemed to fizzle and sit on the backburner of her heart now. Jean deserved every moment with Harry; but Jo couldn’t help the sadness that crept in when it was quiet, knowing that Rosie was still over there.
It had been a wonderful two week reprieve with Juliet, but now Jo was back home in Brooklyn. She had called Jean to let her know that she was coming back, and was promptly given a date and time to meet her and Harry for dinner and drinks. She was excited on one hand, to finally meet not just Jean’s husband but Rosie’s closet friend. 
When the taxi pulled up to her parents home in Flatbush, she quickly paid the driver after he had pulled her suitcase from the trunk. The gentleman tipped his hat and drove off quickly, leaving her standing on the sidewalk, gaze fixed on the house. With a deep sigh, she made her way up the steps to the porch and pushed the door open. Once in the foyer, she dropped her suitcase to the floor and swiftly removed her gloves and hat, depositing them on the credenza by the door. 
“I’m back!” She called, stepping further into the house. She could hear her mother rustling around, before she appeared in the foyer with an almost frantic look in her eye.
“Josephine!” Hugging her tightly, she stepped back, appraising her daughter and sensing the sadness immediately. “Sweetheart, welcome back!”
“Thanks,” she forced a grin, thankful her mother chose not to ask if she was okay. She knew there would be minimal gossip and cocktails that night, however. “Are you okay? Mom, you look worried.”
“You have a visitor. A gentleman is waiting in the living room for you.”
“Oh god, is he, is it… did something happen to Robbie?”
“He says his name is Mr. Lewis?”
“Lewis?” the name rolled over in her mind for a moment, before it dawned on her. “Pappy!”
Jo rushed from the foyer into the living room, any ladylike behavior thrown out the window as she came skidding to a stop in the doorway. There, on the sofa, sat a man who had been described to her in numerous letters from Rosie. The only person she had ever trusted sitting in the Co-Pilot’s seat of Rosie’s fort, and in his own words Rosie’s best friend. 
“Hiya Jo!” Pappy grinned, standing from the sofa as he saw her.
“Pappy! Oh my- what are you doing here!”
“Rosie sent me,” he grinned, coming to greet her properly, the pair finally able to put names to faces, more than just a picture on Rosie’s side table on base or a name in a letter. “He thought with Croz home, you might need some cheering up.”
“You came all the way here just to cheer me up?” that couldn’t possibly be right, could it? Had Rosie sent him all this way just to keep her company for the second half of Harry Crosby’s furlough? 
“Well, you’re Rosie’s sweetheart, plus Val would give me a wallop if she knew I didn’t come see you when you needed it. She sends her regards by the way, boy, wait till you meet her! Have you met Croz yet? I’m sure he’ll want to meet you too, you’re very popular amongst the Riveters crew you know? We all-”
“Pappy, slow down!” she laughed, and for the first time in weeks, she didn’t have to force the sound from her chest. 
“Right! Sorry, but I am really glad to finally meet ya!”
“I’m so glad to meet you too.” she grinned. 
Guiding him back down to the sofa so they could talk. She just caught her mother peeking around the doorframe, a smile giving way as she noticed Jo’s own. 
“How did he even get in touch with you so quickly, the mail takes ages these days!”
“He’s a big shot Major now,” Pappy chuckled. “You know him, he finds a way.”
“He does find a way, doesn’t he…” she mused. 
“How have you been doing? Your mother said you were upstate?”
“Oh! Yes, well with Harry home, I didn’t want to impose on them by staying with Jean-”
“Oh right, I forgot about that! Rosie did tell me you had moved in with Croz’s wife!”
“Yes, a few months ago, and we took jobs on the switchboard at the War Department.”
“Look at you! That’s great!”
“It’s been a lot of fun,” Jo nodded, and she realized she rather liked talking with Pappy. “So, when Harry sent the date of his arrival, I went upstate to visit with John Brady’s girlfriend, Juliet.”
“How’s she? Must be worried sick over Brady…”
“She’s handling it as well as can be expected, but she gets letters when the mail is cooperative, and Olive sends mail to her in the inbetween.”
“Cousin Olive,” he sounds almost wistful. “I miss her…”
“Wait, she’s your cousin? Robbie never mentioned that…”
“Well, we’re both Lewis’.”
“Does that automatically make you cousins, Pappy?”
“Sure it does! Make your own family, right? That’s what we’re all doing to get by.”
“You’re right about that. And how have you been doing since coming home?”
“Oh, my Ma is fussing over me one minute and the next she’s praying I meet someone and get married so I can be her problem.”
“Well, this is New York, you never know. Your mother might get her wish.”
“Rosie would love that wouldn’t he, hell, I’d love it if I were closer.”
Pappy stayed all afternoon, happy to chat with Jo and enjoy some lunch with her and her parents, before they moved outside to sit on the front steps. It was just bordering on early evening and the kids who lived on the block were still running through the streets, soaking up every second of the summer they could. The fire hydrant on the corner was spraying water, turning her little corner of Flatbush Brooklyn into a water park. 
They had skirted around talk of the war and Rosie in detail, but now the sun was setting and Pappy would have to leave, and Jo wasn’t sure she wanted him to before she was able to ask him what she needed to. 
“Pappy, where are you staying?”
“Oh! With Rosie’s Ma actually, yea, just down the block.”
“Of course you are,” she shook her head, a smile on her face at Robbie's generous heart. “You went there first, right? Before coming here I mean.”
“Oh sure, yea I didn’t want her getting worried. She’s sweet, I see where Rosie gets it from…”
“His father was kind. Robbie gets his determination from him; but his heart, his love of jazz, the kind look in his eyes, all that comes from Mrs. Rosenthal.”
“He’s alright, Jo, you know?”
“Are you saying that to placate me, or is he really alright?”
“I mean it, he’s really alright. And he’s not alone either…”
“I don’t like the idea of him flying without you, Pappy.”
“I considered it, ya know?”
“Staying?”
“He told me to go home, in the end when I couldn’t make up my mind, he did it for me.”
“And now?”
“Some days I wish I had stayed, finished what he and I started,” Pappy pulled a pack of cigarettes from his pocket, offering one to Jo first, who politely declined. “And then I think of guys like Nash and Speas who didn’t get to come home, and I think I gotta grab it while it’s hot.”
“I don’t resent you for coming home, I hope you know that.”
“Oh, I know, I wouldn’t be here if I thought you did.”
“I just always felt like he was safer with you in that plane, and you with him,” she sighed, taking the cigarette from Pappy and taking a long pull. “This damn war.”
“He’d balk at you if he saw you do that.”
“Then it’ll be our secret.” Jo grinned, passing the cigarette back to Pappy. 
They sat quietly while Pappy continued to smoke. The playful shrieks of the kids playing filled the companionable silence. She thought of a day when Rosie would be next to her, pressed shoulder to shoulder and her hand in his, possibly watching their own children play in the street. 
They had done the same when they were young. Her father and Mr. Rosenthal would pop the fire hydrant open and they would run in the cool water while the August sun beat down on the street, Rosie’s curls plastered to his forehead, his blue eyes rivaling the clear skies they played under. As they got older, he had picked up a paper route for the summers and Jo would ride on the handlebars of his bicycle, much to her mothers dismay, and help him deliver papers to the neighbors before seeking shade on the front porch of her home. Now, she was on the same porch, and the person next to her was doing their best to fill the void of her usual companion. 
————————————————————
Pappy had proved to be excellent company, not just for Jo but Mrs. Rosenthal as well. It seemed Rosie’s mother perked up quite a bit at having a young man to dote on as she would with her son. Pappy brought a sense of humor back to their block, and had Mrs. Rosenthal cooking up a storm once again, the need to feed him until her heart's content much as it was before her son left for war. 
Jo had been at the house for dinner almost every night, after spending the days taking Pappy around New York City. 
The phone had rang in the middle of breakfast, Mr. Harris stood to pick it up, allowing his wife and daughter to continue their conversation. When he stepped into the room with a smile on his face, Jo knew it was for her. 
“Josephine, it’s Jean Crosby.”
“Oh! Wonderful, thank you!”
“Jean!”
“Jo! Oh how are you, I miss you!”
“I miss you too, dear, how’s Harry?”
“Oh he’s wonderful…actually that’s why I called.”
“Oh?”
“Is tonight good?”
“Oh, tonight is great actually!”
“Wonderful! Binger will call the Stork Club and reserve a table, is that okay? I know you don’t want to go to Minton’s without-”
“The Stork Club is perfect Jean, thank you. Tell Harry to make it for four.”
“Four?”
“Yes, Pappy’s here!”
“Pappy?!”
“Yes! Robbie sent him!”
“Oh what a sweet gesture! Well I can’t wait to meet him, and I know Bing will be happy to see him.”
Jo could hear Harry Crosby in the background of the call asking Jean who their fourth was for dinner, before she told him to hush while she was on the phone. 
“What time tonight, Jean?”
“Seven thirty, unless you want to make it eight?”
“Seven thirty is fine,” Jo agreed. “I’m taking Pappy to Coney Island, but we’ll be back in plenty of time.”
“Where’s he staying?” Jean suddenly asked. “Surely not with you!”
“Oh no, with Robbie’s mother. And boy is she loving it!”
“I bet!” Jean laughed. “Well listen, I’m going to run, because Harry is looking for breakfast and I’m afraid he might burn our kitchen down if I leave him a moment longer. I’ll see you tonight dear, and I can’t wait!”
“Oh me too, Jean! Now go feed your husband, and I’ll see you later.”
Hanging up the phone she went back to join her parents at the table, her toast now a bit cold, but she wasn’t bothered. Not when she had a full day ahead of her. 
“Going out tonight?” Her mother grinned. 
“Yes, Harry’s making a reservation at the Stork Club for all of us,” she spoke from behind her coffee cup. “I’m so looking forward to finally meeting him and seeing Jean.”
“You and Jean have missed each other,” her father nodded, inserting himself into the conversation. “I could hear it in her voice when I picked up the phone.”
“I have missed her. Please, don’t think I’m not happy to be home with you both, but it's been so lovely living with her.”
“I think it’s done you a world of good with Robert gone. Naturally when he comes home, so will you, but right now, this is what’s best for you Josephine.”
“Your father’s right,” her mother placed a hand over hers, giving a gentle squeeze. “Then again, once Robert comes home, hopefully it won’t be long until you two are starting your life together.”
She was halfway through formulating a response when there was a knock at the door; using it as her escape from any more talk of her and Rosie’s future, she quickly jumped up to answer it. Pulling back the door, she found Pappy on the front porch with Mrs. Rosenthal behind him. He was dressed in civilian clothes for the first time since he had arrived, and grinning cheekily at her. 
“Heya Jo!”
“Pappy,” chuckling, she couldn’t help but shake her head as he stepped inside the foyer. “Good morning.”
He gave her a gentle hug, before allowing Mrs. Rosenthal to greet her, the older woman scooping Jo up in her arms for a hug, the two of them saying so much without saying anything at all. 
“Hello dear,” she grinned, hands still holding Jo’s shoulders as she appraised her. “Did we interrupt breakfast?”
“No more than Jean Crosby did just a moment ago.” Jo laughed, closing the door and guiding them both inside. 
“Is she getting on well with her husband at home?”
“Oh yes, it seems that she’s doing just fine.”
“Wonderful,” Mrs. Rosenthal smiled. “I’ve had some mail from Robert…”
“Oh? Is everything-”
“He’s fine, dear. Missing you, but otherwise fine.”
“Well, I miss him too,” she pouted slightly. “There’s been no mail from him.”
“The letter I got was weeks past the date at the top, so just hold out hope, yours should be on its way.”
“Don’t worry, Jo,” Pappy chimed in. “He’d never forget about ya.”
“Thanks Pappy…” she gave his arm a gentle squeeze, righting her before turning towards the kitchen. “Coffee?”
The trio entered the kitchen to find Mrs. Harris already preparing a fresh pot of coffee, her father standing to greet Pappy with a handshake before gesturing for him to have a seat while Mrs. Rosenthal took up her regular spot at their table. It was all very domestic, and not lost on Jo how lucky she was to have the family she did; both blood and chosen. 
“Pappy, we have big plans today.” She grinned, sitting back at her place to resume picking at her toast. 
“We’ve had big plans all week!” He laughed. 
“I’m taking you to Coney Island! Because everyone should be forced to ride the Cyclone at least once in their life.”
“…Forced?!”
“Well, Robbie forces me on it every year, and secretly I love it, but don’t tell him that. So now, I get to do it for you.”
“I’ve heard horror stories about that thing from Val!”
“Oh don’t be a baby, it’ll be fun! Jean Crosby even rode it with me!”
“She did?”
“Yes, she did.”
“Fine… if Jean Crosby can do it.”
All three of the parents in the room laughed as Pappy’s face blanched, the airman taking a cautionary sip of his coffee to settle his nerves. Surely, if Jean Crosby could do it… and he’d hate to have to tell Rosie he chickened out on the Cyclone. 
_________________________________
The Stork Club was bustling as Jo and Pappy walked in. He had handled an afternoon on the boardwalk like a pro, and she’d be sure to tell Rosie all about it in her next letter, but now he was back in his uniform and she was dressed for a night out and he was guiding her inside and towards the bar so she could try and locate Jean. 
“Oh! I see Croz!” Pappy was waving his arm in the direction of Harry Crosby, and when Jo turned she spotted Jean, on the arm of a handsome man, dressed in the same uniform as Pappy. 
“Croz!” 
“Pappy! Jean didn’t tell me you were the fourth!”
“Surprise,” Jean grinned, arm still looped through her husbands. “When Jo told me this morning I decided to keep it a surprise.”
“Well, this is great,” Harry beamed, giving Pappy a firm handshake, happy to see a familiar face. “What are you doing in the city?”
“Rosie sent me. He thought Jo might need a friend.”
“And now I have three.” She smiled, Jean now standing with her, the two girls’ arms linked as they watched the boys catch up. 
“Josephine,” Harry turned to her, and she just felt Jean nudge her forward to say hello. “I can’t tell you how happy I am to finally meet you.”
His uniform looked almost identical to the one she had sent Rosie off in at Grand Central all those months ago. Olive green shirt and jacket, tie, khaki slacks, and crush cap. Harry was sporting oak leaf pins on his lapels, along with multiple other citations and pins that he had served long into this war. She imagined that Robbie's uniform looked much the same these days, save for his flight wings indicating him a pilot, while Harry’s was a globe for navigators. 
Harry Crosby had big, brown cow eyes, and a gentle smile about him. He was every bit of how both Jean and Rosie had described him; Jean going on about how handsome he was and Rosie describing him as terribly capable but riddled with nerves. He was fiddling with his fingers, his hat tucked under his arm as he watched her step forward. Harry quickly handed his hat to Pappy and pulled her close for a hug, shocking her only slightly before she felt a sense of familiarity and comfort fall over her. 
“Thank you, Jo, ” He whispered to her before stepping back. “I can’t say it enough.”
Before she could ask what he was thanking her for, he stepped back, taking her hands and continuing to talk to her. 
“You two really have looked after each other haven’t you.”
“That’s what friends do,” she smiled. “And I should be thanking you for doing the same, Harry.”
“Oh, it’s Rosie who looks after me, really.”
“Still, you two keep an eye on each other and it just makes me feel more at ease.”
“Well, the feeling is mutual,” he grinned, releasing her hands and moving to wrap an arm around Jean’s waist. “Now, let’s go sit and we can exchange stories. Somehow I have a feeling you two girls have gotten up to quite a lot.”
Dinner was delightful, and the conversation flowed effortlessly. Friends, the really good ones,  it seemed, were the key to getting through tough times, because they would laugh with you, and let you cry on their shoulder if you needed it. Jo had done just that with both Jo and Pappy, as well as Jules and Vika earlier on. They had let her get it all out, those bottled up feelings, and she felt grateful for it. Lighter and less tense, she was able to enjoy happy moments like this. 
She was sitting next to Jean, the pair quietly conversing while Pappy and Harry spent some time catching up on the goings on at Thorpe Abbotts; it was something that both girls knew was meant for their ears only, so they took the time to chat amongst themselves. 
“Has it been alright, now that he’s home?”
“We’ve had a lot of good, long talks.” Jean nodded, sipping her martini with a slight frown. 
“What? Something wrong?”
“Mine are better.” She rolled her eyes slightly, making Jo laugh. 
“Yours are dangerous,” she corrected her friend with a gentle slap to the wrist. “But they are the best I’ve ever had.”
“But yes, Bing and I have done a lot of talking.”
“Just talking?”
“Josephine!”
“Well, he is your husband, I would hope you’ve done more than talk.”
Jean fixes her with a stare, eyebrow raised and mock challenging as she sticks her tongue out in the most Jean Crosby way possible, causing Jo to fall into a fit of laughter so loud, that both men turn to look at the girls. Jean is quick to wave them back to their own conversation, while Jo composes herself. 
“Did you have to do that?”
“Yes,” Jean grins. “It’s entirely too fun to watch you fall into stitches like that.”
“Now, tell me,” Jo rights herself again, placing a hand over Jean’s on the table. “You and Harry, you had a good talk?”
“We did. He told me about… her.”
“Oh Jean!”
“There was an affair,” she nods. “A woman in London, and while I understand he was coping with Bubbles, and then all of his friends being captured, Jo, it hurts.”
“It’s allowed to be hurtful and understandable. So much of life is.”
“He said he’s ended it, now coming home if even for a short while, he doesn’t want to see her again.”
“Oh Jean, I don’t know what to say.”
“You’ve listened for months while I cried over his distance, and that’s all I could have ever asked of you.”
“Well, then I should be thanking you too, and apologizing for being such a grump the last few weeks.”
“You were not a grump!”
“I was an absolute grouch, and it was not like me. I misplaced my feelings over Robbie being gone on your happiness.”
“Josephine…”
“Speaking of your happiness,” she grinned. “Looks like he’s trying to catch your eye.”
“Oh, Binger can wait just a second.” she pulled Jo tightly to her, the two women sharing a hug that spoke volumes. 
There was no animosity, and no one upping the other. They were best friends, getting through the hardships of war together. Harry would be gone in another few days, and so would Pappy, and they’d both go on together again. There would be days at work and dinners from the automat, weekends with Juliet and Vika up in Victor, and nights spent in the quiet of their house with just the radio on while they sipped martinis. In between all of that, there should be two men to join in the simple moments of their lives, and one day they would be there, it was only a matter of time. 
She knew, deep down, Rosie being in England was where he was supposed to be right now. If he had come home, he’d have been restless and unsettled, and neither of them could start a life properly that way. She knew that. As Jean said, we understand but we hurt, and that’s what all of this had been. Hurtful, and confusing but understanding. A part of her life that she needed to go through in order to get to the next part with the man she loved. It was just another chapter, the ticking hand on a clock, a turn around the sun. 
Pappy’s laughter pulled the two girls apart, and they found him doubled over while Harry sat patiently waiting. 
“Are you finished now?” Harry glared at him. 
“No!” Pappy wheezed, reaching for his napkin to wipe at his eyes. “Tell me again how you face planted and Tattie had to put you to bed!”
“Pappy…”
“Oh come on! Croz, that’s funny!”
“Not for the fellas who had to haul me out of Operations.”
“Who did?” Jean posed the question to him casually, already knowing the answer from Val’s letter but wanting to hear her husband admit it. 
“Rosie and Dougie…”
“Oh Dougie must have loved that!” Pappy roared with laughter again. 
“He grumbled about me being heavier than I look for a few days after I woke up.”
“Slept three days straight through the landings. Only you Croz.”
“Yeah, yeah, only me.” He shook his head, letting Pappy get his licks in while he could before turning the conversation somewhere Jo would appreciate. 
“You tell Jo about how Rosie was up in the sky humming Artie Shaw over the radio?”
“He did what!” She crowed, eyes wide in amusement knowing just how much he loved his jazz. 
“I hadn’t… that one was rough.” 
“You don’t have to,” Jo replied, understanding. “He says a lot of those early flights were rough, so-”
“No, no, if you want me to tell you I will!”
“He conveniently left out how he hummed his way back home, so…”
“It was our third mission, ever. And I won’t go into too much detail but, we ended up alone in the sky, and I guess to distract himself or us, he starts humming.”
“Artie Shaw, you said?”
“Over the radio, all of us heard it!” Pappy chuckled. 
“The Chant, right?”
“How did you! Jo!”
“I’ve known him my whole life,” she laughed. “And I know what makes him tick.”
“Well, on that note, how about a dance ladies?” Harry posed the question to both of them, but he and Jean exchanged a quick glance that Jo didn’t miss. 
Harry was at her side just as she stood, extending his hand to her just as she caught Pappy leading Jean to the dance floor, the two chatting idly. 
“Harry? No, go with your wife, I know she’s missed you.” Jo tried to convince him, but he looped her arm in his and carried on walking. 
“Promised Rosie I’d give you a good spin on the dance floor, and while I may have two left feet, a promise is a promise.” 
“Oh goodness, Harry, you can tell him we danced, it’s really alright.” She laughed, letting him lead her regardless, Pappy and Jean fumbling along next to them in a fit of their own laughter. 
Harry spun her through the upbeat songs, and took Jean in his arms during all the slow ones. They had carried on this way for quite a while, before returning to their table for a drink, both Pappy and Harry having removed their Class A jackets. How they had lasted as long as they had, especially in July, was unbelievable. The Stork Club was beginning to empty out, and as Harry and Pappy flagged down their waiter to settle the bill, Jo and Jean excused themselves to the ladies room to freshen up. With a bustling restroom filled with women reapplying lipstick and powder to their noses, both Jo and Jean were back at their table in no time. Harry and Pappy were fussing over the bill, the two of them doing quick math before placing some bills on the table just as the girls sat back down. Jean gently nudged Harry, drawing his attention to her as she gestured to his jacket with a nod of her head and a gentle smile. His eyes lit up before he reached behind to the jacket draped over the back of his chair, digging into his inside breast pocket, pulling out an envelope that Jo had become very familiar with over the course of the months Rosie had been gone. 
“Before I forgot,” Harry handed the envelope to Jo, a smile on his face. “Special delivery.”
The front of the envelope didn’t have her address on it like all the others she had received before. No, this one had Rosie’s handwriting scrawled across the front and the words My Dearest Jo to indicate that it was for her. 
“Oh Harry, he sent this with you?”
“He wanted you to have one that didn’t go through the APO review before going into transit,” Harry explained. “You didn’t think Pappy was the only surprise, did you?”
“You’ve been holding on to this the entire time you’ve been home?”
“Well, I had assumed I’d meet you a bit sooner but when Jean told me you were upstate with Juliet…”
“Harry…”
“She explained it to me, and it’s alright. I understand.”
“I shouldn’t have-”
“No, don’t say that,” Harry frowned, placing a hand over hers as Jean and Pappy looked on. “I know that me coming home wasn’t easy for you, and I know that Rosie taking on a second tour has been even harder. I hope you know we all gave him an earful when he signed those papers…”
“I’ve got it on good authority, from multiple sources.” She chuckled, swiping at her eyes to stop the tears. 
“Val.” Harry and Pappy said at the same time, the woman’s name punctuated with a laugh. 
“She keeps me informed,” Jo grinned. “Thank you, Harry.”
“For the mail?”
“For everything.” 
_________________________________
Pappy had dropped her back off at her house after they had all left the Stork Club, before bidding her goodnight and turning to go back towards the Rosenthal home. Turning towards the living room, she expected to see her mother waiting up for her, but found that both of her parents had gone up to bed. With the living room vacant, she pulled Rosie’s letter from her purse before placing it on the table, and removed her shoes before curling up on the cushions. Carefully, she slid her thumb under the back of the envelope, and pulled the paper from inside. Unfolding it, she found Rosie’s handwriting scrawled across, his message to her waiting. 
My dearest Jo,
I know that by the time you get this, Croz will already be home, and I hope he’s gotten this to you in one piece, and himself to Jean. I also hope Pappy has gotten there safely and proven good at cheering you up. I thought he might be a nice change in pace for you right now. 
Honey Pie, I’m so sorry. I’ve hurt you without even realizing how badly at first, and I don’t know how I could ever ask you to forgive me. I’ve been selfish in staying to fight, when we could be together at home, starting our life. I thought that by fighting, staying here, I was doing the job I needed to keep you safe. It was also selfish, in part, because I thought if I left, I’d be restless. And you didn’t deserve me like that. You didn’t deserve to start a life with someone who felt like he should still be in the fight. As it turns out, I’m restless here most days, thinking of what we could be doing at home. 
I’ll admit, when Croz got furlough, I couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy. Of course I’m happy for my friend, our friends if you include Jean, but part of me wondered why it wasn’t me. I’ve served twice over now, and yet somehow they can’t see fit to let me go for a few weeks. It’s rough, knowing that he gets to return to his wife, my crew is all home, and the other fellas here have their sweethearts. Sometimes seeing Ev Blakely and Dougie with Val and Olive stings, no matter how good they are and how much they make space for me in their circle. There are others who’s special someone isn’t here, and we lament on occasion, but I'm not nearly close to anyone the way I am with the fellas in Ops, and the Red Cross girls. 
I wish you were here with me, in that navy blue jumpsuit slinging coffees with Val and Olive, yelling at us all for crowding the truck, helping to wrangle Meatball until Benny DeMarco comes back. But then, I know you’re safe at home, you and Jean looking after each other, your parents and my Ma all close by. I think that’s where I find I’m more grateful to have you, sweetheart. Safe. 
I suppose I should update you on the goings on here, so that you know how our friends are doing as well. Val and Olive are just fine, keeping every fella in line and then some. It’s enjoyable to share an office with Ev Blakely; he’s mostly quiet while we work, unless Val stops by with coffee and a bit to eat for the pair of us. She often joins us for a while before going back to the Clubmobile. The same for Olive and Doug. Those two girls are never far apart, if one’s visiting so is the other. Dougie shares an office with Croz; it stresses him out. Dougie is usually very relaxed, but being office mates with Croz tends to work him up. Helen, Nash’s old sweetheart, has started corresponding with one of the fellas in the Stalag- Charlie Cruikshank. Everyone calls him Crank, but she has a special nickname for him that no one will divulge to us fellas. All I know is, she seems happy, and that’s good, because losing Nash tore her up. Red Cross Tattie is seeing Air Exec Jack Kidd- but no one is supposed to know. Jack’s not that great at locking his door. Poor Doug got an eye- and an ear- full last week. See honey, you’re not the only one who can gossip. I do alright from over here. Oh! Can’t forget Meatball- husky fur everywhere but, when it’s cold out, he’s great for staying warm. We shuffle him back and forget between our racks and the girls so that everyone gets a turn. Turns out, the dog likes sleepovers with the girls best- Val paints his nails with her red varnish! Not sure how much DeMarco is going to like that when he’s back though.
Speaking of our friend Harry, I need to apologize twice, because though I’m sure you know by now, I’ve kept this from you. It was not the easiest of positions to be in, because he trusted me, then again you have stood by Jean this entire time. There was someone in London, and I hope he’s confessed to her by now. He confided in me on New Years, and then Doug and the others saw him with her in London while on a weekend pass. I assume that’s part of what had Doug so stressed out, Croz was using the phone to make calls to her and arrange meetings when days were particularly rough. I hope you know that I would never step out on you, you’re it for me my sweet girl, and you always will be. 
I’ve often pondered what our life might be like when this is all over, Jo. It’s a pretty picture that I like to conjure up when the days are particularly dreary. You and me, in a house all our own, with a front porch to sit on, just like we do now, watching the neighborhood kids. Maybe we’ll be watching our own kids play in the street, and I’ll be the dad who’s opening the fire hydrant for them to keep cool in the summer. We’d have our friends, and maybe spend summers at the Cape with them. Go dancing at Minton’s on Saturday’s, or have Jean and Croz over for dinner. Curl up on Sunday’s and drink coffee in bed, spend the day tangled together lazily. I can’t wait for all of those days, honey. I can’t wait. 
Promise me you’ll keep your chin up, and that smile on your face. I know it’s hard now, and hopefully, Pappy’s been good company. You’ll have to let me know what adventures you two get up to while he’s there. If you do anything, I’m begging you to take him on the Cyclone. It’s a right of passage after all, and somehow, I imagine it would be quite comical. He’s a good friend, Jo, and he cares about you as much as he does me. He’ll be there to listen when you need it. 
I love you honey pie, and I’ll be home soon. I promise. Sending millions of hugs and kisses and all of my love. 
Yours forever,
Robbie
His signature and declaration of love were blurred as tears welled up in her eyes, threatening to spill over and onto the paper. Holding his letter close to her chest, where it was free from the salty reminders of his absence, only then did she allow the tears to fall. Quiet sobs in the empty living room, praying to whoever was listening, begging, for him to come back to her. 
_________________________________
“Mail call, fellas!” 
Rosie looked up to find Tattie Spaatz in the doorway of his and Ev Blakely’s shared office, a handful of envelopes in her hands as she leaned against the doorframe. Blakely looked up, pulling the cigarette from between his lips and resting it in the ashtray on his desk before taking the offered mail from her. 
“Thanks Tat,” he nodded, passing Rosie’s over to him. “Dougie’s off with Olive so, if he’s got anything you can drop it here, his office is locked.”
“Oh, even better, thanks Ev. See you later Rosie.”
“See ya Tattie…” Rosie half waved as she walked out the door, looking up from the papers on his desk just in time to see her casually stroll into Jack Kidd’s office. 
“They’re at it again���” he shook his head, Ev’s laughter filling the silence. 
“Yeah well, whatever she’s doing got the bug out of his ass.”
“You sound like Val.”
“Who do you think said it first?” Ev grinned, picking up his mail.
“Anything good?” Rosie nodded towards the envelope in his hands, his own mail resting next to him on his desk. 
“My mother, more than likely with a few sentences for me and three pages for her future daughter in-law.”
“Aren’t all our Ma’s like that…”
Blakely didn’t respond, instead leaving Rosie to open his mail while he set to reading from his mother back in Seattle. Slipping his thumb under the back of the envelope, he pulled out a letter written in Pappy’s messy scrawl, but legible at the very least. 
Hey pal! 
How’s it going over there in East Anglia? Have you single handedly won the war yet, or did Harding tell you to save some Krauts for the rest of the crews? I’m just kidding, I know you’re up in Operations with the other guys, so hopefully the paperwork isn’t putting you to sleep yet. 
I’m back at your Ma’s house. Croz and I took the girls to the Stork Club for dinner and some dancing, and before you ask yes, I warned your girlfriend that I have two left feet. She seemed happy to go out, and I think a little relieved to meet Croz. She’s trying really hard to be brave, but pal, she’s ready for you to come home. And don’t worry, Croz delivered your letter- I left her to read it after I dropped her back off at her folks house. You weren’t kidding when you said the same block! She’s practically across the street from your Ma’s house! Oh, and thanks again for letting me stay at your place while I’m here. Your bed is pretty comfy for a big shot Major. That’s payback for having to ride the Cyclone, by the way! She dragged me on that thing, and said that if Jean Crosby could do it I could too. Didn’t have it in me to tell her no, but dear god, how could you make that girl ride it year after year! 
I don’t think I need to tell you, but just to make sure we’re all on the same page I’m going to do it anyway. Jo is amazing, and she’s so much more than how you described her. And she loves ya. I mean, she really truly loves ya! That kind of thing isn’t easy to find, so, would ya finish this damn thing and come home to her? She deserves to have at least that much. So do you.  
Anyway, take care of yourself Rosie. Give my regards to everyone still over there with ya, especially Cousin Olive. 
Your friend and Co-Pilot
Pappy Lewis
The paper fell to the desk with a sigh, Rosie’s head falling into his hands almost as fast as the paper from his grip. How could he be so stupid? Sure, Pappy was a great friend and he trusted him to be the friend Jo needed during Croz’s furlough, but Jo had a friend. She had Jean, and she had the girls here who wrote to her, and Juliet upstate. What she needed was him, and he dropped the ball. 
“God damnit…”
“Rosie? You okay pal?”
Looking up, he found Blakely putting his own mail back in its envelope, turning in his chair to face him fully. He deftly pulled the cigarette from behind his ear and lit it quickly, focusing his attention back on him. 
“Rosie…?”
“Yea, I’m just…” he swiped a hand down his face with a groan, trying to find the words to actually make sense of it all. He couldn’t. “No, Ev. I not okay.”
“Alright, well, what’s eating at ya?” The smoke billowed from his lips as he spoke, swirling around both him and Rosie. Though he wasn’t a smoker, Rosie found it oddly comforting as it wrapped around him. 
“Pappy sent a letter. I asked him to go out and look after Jo while Croz was home, I had a feeling she wasn’t going to take his furlough all that well, and it turns out I was right.”
“Couldn’t have been easy, what, with Croz being home and you-”
“I should be home already, Ev.”
“Do you regret it? Reupping?”
“They say hindsight is twenty-twenty, right?”
“Jesus, Rosie,” Ev exhaled, turning to knock the ashes off the end of his cigarette. “What did Pappy have to say?”
“He took her to the Stork Club for dinner and dancing with Croz and Jean. She made him get on the Cyclone. I should be taking her to the club for dinner and dancing and dragging her on that damn ride.” 
“Pal, I know we all tried to talk you out of it before you went in to see Bennet, and I’m not going to sit here and tell you that you should have listened to us. It’s not going to change anything.”
“There’s a but coming,” Rosie raised an eyebrow at him. “I’ve known you long enough, Blakely.”
“There is a but coming, you’re right. When you do get home, make sure that girl knows how sorry you are, and how much you love her.”
“Gonna marry her.”
“Good, put a ring on her finger. Shit, pal, if I could run away from all this with Val right now, I wouldn’t stop to question it. I’d just go.”
“I’m a bonehead. At least that’s probably the word Croz would use.” 
“Want me to call you a bonehead?”
“No, please. I feel bad enough.”
“Don’t feel bad, you can’t beat yourself up too much. You’ll never get out of your own head if you do.”
“Thanks, Ev.”
“I know I’m not Croz, but we're friends so don’t ever feel like we’re not.”
“Sometimes it's easier to talk to him,” Rosie sighed. “His wife isn’t here, Jo isn’t here, we just have that to gripe over. You and Doug…”
“I get it, Val and Olive are here, and it seems like it’s a million times easier, but I’ll tell ya what, there was a time it wasn’t.”
“Bremen?”
“Bremen, and everything before Bremen. Africa especially.”
“Biddick…”
“Yeah,” Ev sighed. “I always worried something would yank me from her too soon. Then Curt went down and I realized I could just as easily have been the one to go down, and leave her without so much as a warning. Jo doesn’t see all of this, so she’s protected. Val sees bodies carried out of the hospital, and most of her friends covered in blood when they’re pulled out of a fort, or limping into Interrogation. I wish she didn’t have to.”
“I see your point. Sometimes it’s not always greener on the other side.”
“It is, and it isn’t.”
“Jo is protected back home, just wish I was there to protect her.”
“Soon enough, Rosie. Soon enough.”
“Thanks for the chat, Ev.”
“Anytime, Pal,” Ev stood from his seat, and clapped a hand on Rosie's shoulder. “Now come on, I’ll buy you a drink at the club.”
“And Val?”
“She’ll meet us later, I think she’s up in Harding’s office working on some stuff.”
Quickly, they shut off the lights and locked the office, leaving their paperwork for the next day. Rosie stuffed Pappy’s letter into his jacket pocket, following Ev out the door and through Operations until they were outside. Neither bothered to attempt to bid Jack Kidd goodnight. 
The air was cool, and the lights that illuminated the walkways were just flickering on as they turned towards the officers club, already filling up with replacements spilling from the mess halls, and the odd crew they were friendly with. 
“You think he told Jean?” Rosie turned to catch Blakely’s gaze as the other man lit up a cigarette. Realization dawned on him when he figured out what exactly Rosie was hinting at. 
“He’d be stupid not to.”
“I only just told Jo, though I’m guessing she had an idea.”
“When did Croz tell you?”
“Remember New Year’s Eve? Before you and Dougie came into the racks with the bottle of Vat 69 I’m still not sure how you got your hands on.”
“Ohhhh yeah!” Ev grinned. “Wait! You knew from then?”
“I did…”
“He’s your guy for this stuff isn’t he…” 
“Isn’t Doug yours?” Rosie replied. 
“I’m Doug’s,” Ev laughed. “You want good advice, come to me. You want someone to tell you it’s okay to bring a donkey home from Africa, you go to Doug.”
“I will, uh, remember that.” Rosie laughed. 
He couldn’t change any of this, and his decision would be something he’d live with for the rest of his life, but support made it easier. Jo had support at home. She had her parents, and his Ma, Jean Crosby and now Juliet and Vika upstate. Rosie had Croz, and though Ev Blakely had always been a friend, he realized this was the first time the two of them had gotten deep and shared the realities of war together. He had envied the man for months that Val was here with him, not realizing just how hard it had been for the woman to watch him fly off and potentially never come back. How rough it was on him to leave her on the ground time after time. To have pulled her through the aftermath of the Africa mission, while his crew had simply stood down and been meant to watch it all unfold. 
These were the realities of this war. You missed people, you lost people, you made mistakes and you learned lessons. But, you also made friends, and sometimes if you were lucky those friends became your family. Rosie hadn’t realized it at first, but his family was growing both back home, and here at Thorpe Abbotts, and it all came down  to one person.
My dearest Jo…
A/N: Thanks for reading! This series will continue for Rosie & Jo, so if you enjoyed this, please like, comment, reblog- whichever is your poison. Feedback is always welcome & my ask box is always open. If you want to be added to my tag list, or removed, let me know!
Tag List: @winniemaywebber @sagesolsticewrites @bobparkhurst @rosiesriveter @victoryrollsandredlips @bcolfanfic @major-mads @footprintsinthesxnd @roosevelt-stalin-cocacola @justheretoreadthxxs @claireelizabeth85 @hephaestn @ktredshoes @barrykeoghussy @peachessndreamss @hellfirequinnie @spinteresting @prettyinlimegreenboots @manonsmanicmind @precious-little-scoundrel @beingalive1
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doctorweebmd · 10 months
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okay. yeahhh no it’s official. its yearly depressive episode time.
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sea-jello · 27 days
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hong kong miku,,,
#hopping on the trend jumpscare i’m from hong kong surprise#i haven’t seen that many hk mikus around#lowkey chat i think i kinda ate with this one#however i will say i am coloring in the dark so if any colors look off that’s why#and also i haven’t opened this program in literal months i jumped straight into this no warmup no nothing#miku is what pulls me out of art block apparently i was locked in for 5 hours STRAIGHT#someone needs to teach me how to paint properly holy#not sure how i feel about the bottom left one but that was a quick one anyways#i am from hk originally but i haven’t been back in years so i have no idea about the culture other than food and mirror#OKAY let me explain the context#street food is a big thing in hk and quick and easy things like fish balls egg waffles and like siu mai and wonton noodles are popular#back then people really would just squat down on the side of the road or right in front of the shop to eat it and go#but i don’t think anyone does that anymore city life and all that#ohh i should have done instant noodles breakfasts god i loved those#if anyones from hk if you go to the causeway bay mtr station exit that leads up to the big road near soho. do they still sell siu mai there#that shit was BANGER i remember asking for them all the time#a good majority of parents in hk would get their daughters ears pierced as a baby something about them not feeling as much pain idk#that’s just what i was told#i used the neon for her friendly standard greeting cause i wanted to incorporate the neon signs somehow without actually drawing a whole bg#lots of neon signs in hk. i heard they had to take them down cause of light pollution which is sad but understandable#everyone got their shoes from dr kong. at least when i was younger they did#boy band is self explanatory. i heard they’re really popular my mom listens to them#oh i had her messing with her shoes cause hk people move FAST. you stop for one second and you get shoved#so like a fun little allusion#gave her black roots just for fun. she is violating every school uniform code possible#this is all based off of my memory by the way so like. anyone who knows this better than i do hit me up#hatsune miku#miku from my culture#jellos scribbles#i haven’t tag yapped in so long welcome back my love i missed you
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goldensunset · 1 year
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surprise art attack!!! here’s @deityofhearts ‘s cashmere, everyone’s favorite whimsical tiefling
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scary-grace · 2 months
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In the mood to make a personal post but all my ideas are bad
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identitty-dickruption · 10 months
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so so normal that thinking about high school for two seconds makes me want to die. I am a grown adult. and there is a period of four years of my life that I cannot bear to think about. normal.
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autistic-katara · 10 months
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seeing ur beloved mutual reblogging some questionable shit (probably unintentionally) but not having the energy to argue or explain why </3
#please i dont wanna have to be the one to correct u fuckers every time u reblog a mildly disguised dogwhistle#goyish mutuals please talk to some jews (who r knowledgeable and want to educate ppl)#cause stg some of the stuff i’m seeing is 2 steps below nazi propaganda#and ik its most likely not malicious but god i’m so tired#please educate urself on some stuff#bcz some of the shit ur rbing could easily be found on some neonazi page if u just (((added some of these around the word zionist)))#or just replaced the word zionist with “jews” or smthn#or idk just so many posts if u tweaked the language just a little but kept the same message it would be blatant nazi shit#and yeah sure the post sounds normal nd everything or whatever but u gotta remembered the point of dogwhistles is to seem innocuous#to signal to other nazis to make them sound more sympathetic and to make ppl calling them out seem insane#just please guys i’m begging u watch out for those posts that r like#“the zionists in hollywood r censoring x” or#“oh no! x jewish celebrity is scared of antisemitism in their big mansion? so sad! lets address their hurt feelings right away#dead palestinian children can wait!”#or whatever#like yes what israel is doing is beyond fucked nd the us being supportive of it is gross but please ffs watch what ur reblogging/posting#think abt if its denying/downplaying antisemitism#if u replaced the word “zionist” with “jew” would it sound like a conspiracy theory?#are u dehumanising jewish/israeli ppl in any way?#(bcz yes not every israeli citizen is the actual devil yk i dont think my 2 month old cousin ever bombed anyone)#yk just please think before u post/reblog jesus fucking christ#idk i kinda went off on a whole rant here oops-#antisemitism#ryan shut the fuck up
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bibleofficial · 28 days
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need you to know i genuinely enjoy your blog - part of what makes it great is that its clear that you go outside and party and fuck!! so many people in this website just don’t fuck 🤧
omg !!! ❤️❤️❤️ don’t replicate my sin u will go to hell
#asked#anonymous#ALSKALSKALSKLKSLAKSLAJSLAJSL#i don’t party i end them#i’m the police but instead of confiscating the drugs i’m doing them all & everyone hates me for it#i’m like a pig findin a truffle#i wish i could stay inside forever and just die but im an adult#has to leave the house today even#gave more directions#still exhausted#still so much shit to do#i should be euthanized#ok real talk i hope none of yall look up to me bc u shouldn’t 😭😭 don’t look at my substance use & think ‘wow aspiration !’ it’s a problem &#it’s bc of Trauma that i am An Addict#like aspire to overcome rape & assault & druggings & robbery & sex work & abusive relationships & abandonent issues & being poor &#like QLSKALKSLAKSLAJSLAKSLAKSL#LIKE LOOK AT THAT !!! laugh at my misery bc it is very funny but dont aspire to it !!!!#except for the pigeons i think everyone should feed the pigeons & should try feeding pigeons & also look at pigeons & watch the pigeons & th#think abt pigeons & love pigeons#not the point but like fr do NOT have insane amounts of sex it’s not cool or swag it’s honestly very sad ALSKALSKLAKSLAKSLAKSLAK#like getting flashbacks are INSANE bc i’ve blacked out so many memories#no actually u should have insane amounts of sex i mean risky sex & sex for attention like i’ve hooked up w people i wouldn’t … solely bc#they would give me attention that i crave like it’s not even ‘attention’ it’s just ‘feeling close to a person’ like i would’ve been HAPPY to#just get a HUG or a CUDDLE but to do that i had to have sex (OR SO I THOUGHT BC I HAVE NO BOUNDARIES)
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lem-argentum · 28 days
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playing ff.xiv blind as a th.ancred fan from the beginning is so funny. “hmm i wonder where than is- WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE WAS POSSESSED BY ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL BEINGS IN THE UNIVERSE….....” “hmm i wonder what happened to than after he was teleported from the- HIS ABILITY TO INTERACT WITH THE NATURAL ENERGY OF THE WORLD WAS SEVERED AND HE HAD TO FEND FOR HIMSELF FOR MONTHS IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE????” “yaay than gets to help us with planning our defenses :D- DID HE JUST DIEoh he’s not dead his soul was just RIPPED AWAY TO ANOTJEJR WORLD????!?!?” “ohh he gets to fight r.yne’s awful guardian figure i wonder what he’s gonna- DID HE JUST DIEoh he’s fine nevermind he gets to have resolved character development now :)” “aww okay we get to go to the end of the universe together, and he’s already gone through so much so clearly nothing bad will happen to hDID HE J
#lem text#🌊#xivposting#he never ever ever ever gets a break it’s so funny. i’m sure the game is done messing with him now for dt but AGJFNWZKR#literally as SOON as the i.frit fight happens in arr he never gets to rest until the end of shb.#like okaayyy *overworks self to the point of aetheric vulnerability or whatever -> is used as a tool for bringing about a terrible calamity#-> teleported to the wilderness never able to use magic again or interact with the world normally; unsure if friends are alive for months#-> learns that sister-figure is missing and then learns that she is basically dead -> angst arc while trying to hide all of problems#-> thinks he gets a chance to rest and is literally yoinked from his world on accident with nothing he can do about it;#forced to adapt to a whole other planet overflowing with its own tragedies with no way of contacting anyone he knows#-> discovers that sister-figure has been basically reincarnated; takes on responsibility to save her#-> manages to do so after TWO YEARS but still hasn’t gotten over grief -> has to be a parent on the run with daughter-figure now#-> waiting as random stranger tries & fails to summon the hero from his world; evading government in a land only a fraction the size of his#-> spends THREE MORE YEARS running from authorities with daughter who reminds him too much of sister-figure; is still hiding all problems#-> can only solve his problems by almost dying; apparently. does so. life becomes good until he decides he has to almost die again#-> DOES SO. and then life becomes good again. problems mayhap still not processed. average th.ancred waters lifestyle#i think his story has a big theme of like. lack of agency; and i could talk more about it but i just think it’s really interesting and sad-#that his whole childhood (limsa+sharlayan) was out of his control with his life path being chosen for him out of necessity+circumstance#he was brought to sharlayan so young and then The Incident happens at *17* indebting him to min.filia bc he sees himself responsible#and then gigantic life-changing things happen to him *also* out of his control (hinterlands+the first)#and when he finally gets to pick a long-term route for himself he fucks it up! doing everything intentionally but hurting r.yne for years!#he’s the FIRST ONE SUMMONED TO THE FIRST… A NEW WORLD… IT WAS LIKE A FRESH START… AND AUGJF HDH . IDK DO YOU GET IT.#i haven’t written this many tags in forever i guess i have to put it in the:#lem ramblings#ok ​i’m done. thancrebbbbbdd <3. goodnight <3.
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If the boomers get saddled with the shitty stereotype of having fucked up the economy/being deeply selfish on a society or collective level? (Though honestly that’s not necessarily fair depending).
I’m afraid my generation (millennial) has to contend and realise it has the shitty stereotype of being terrible terrible parents/being deeply selfish on an individual level.
If you’re a millennial parent and that doesn’t apply to you: congrats. But there is, it seems, a near epidemic of this shit online.
Honestly think protections so kids get money later simply isn’t enough. Like we might need ban for putting kids faces or identity online/ at all/ until they’re old enough to get their own social media accounts (so like 13?) minimum. Like when they can at least voice things for themselves anyway.
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people begging me to do something to make a certain someone happy aren’t taking into account that i hate this person and i will revel in the knowledge that i kept them from getting the most perfect version of what they wanted. in fact i hope they mourn the loss of this for the rest of their life and die unhappy about it
#i wish i could do worse. i wish i could go through and ruin everything i ended up giving them (all against my wishes) and i wish#i could ruin everything they love because god do i hate them and i will laugh when they finally fucking die#i have no idea why everyone glosses over all the shit this person has done to us and all the pain they’ve caused and i can’t fathom why#everyone wants to make them happy and why they’re willing to beg and bribe for me (and one other person who also hates them) to#give in but it is amusing and i hope they all fucking cry about it like oh nooo did poor [REDACTED] not get something they will never#get another chance to have ? oh well that sucks so bad for them i’m oh so sorry i caused that i can’t believe i managed to ruin their#chances for this how awful that this person i hate who has done and gotten away with so many horrible things didn’t get their perfect#little fantasy how sad we should all comfort them and call me a bitch who has no respect for anyone#god sometimes i wish i gave into violence more in the past bc i wish i got to fucking beat their ass up back when it would be self-defense#unforch i will never get to now. SAD!#i suppose i have murder fantasies and the thought of being able to ruin their funeral to soothe my soul#and the knowledge that i could make them fucking hurt by refusing to cooperate w them#and ough every time an opportunity presents itself for me to fucking take back what they took from me arises i have to fight myself#on it bc everyone will know it was me. i don’t even want what they have i just want them to know they will never get it back and#god it would upset them so much but they never should have had it in the first place ough if i get the chance before i ditch everyone here#for good i’d want to take it and stick around just long enough to hear how much they’ll cry about it before i fuck off#unforch i would need to know where all of their copies of things are but fuck i hate knowing they’ve taken so much from me bc i didn’t#get a fucking choice and they think they have to right to keep it all bc oh it makes them so happy they love having it they’re so fucking#afraid of losing it but it’d be so easy and i doubt they’d even notice for a while and i genuinely could disguise it as a mistake something#got misplaced some files corrupted etc etc but whatever this is fantasy a sweet little daydream of mine my second fantasy involving#them has smth to do with setting their house on fire and my third fantasy is desecrating their grave when the time comes#okay i’m done w this lalalalalala *skips off into the distance* i think revenge is not productive but god is it delicious to think about
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johndonneswife · 6 months
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someone really should be talking about how difficult it is to plan a wedding - a gay wedding - when both of your families fucking suck
#who is talking about this!!!! let me know#idk i have 0 expectations for my family but they still somehow always manage to let me down which#i was anticipating#and i didn’t think i would care because i have never cared before#but liiiiiike.#i wasn’t expecting to feel sad rofl but my family is so fucking flaky. again i KNOW THIS i know i cannot rely on any of them#it’s annoying when i have given them a year and a half to make plans and i have had so many people tell me they would be there#just to back out or ghost or come up with some excuse#like do you know how expensive weddings are 😭 JUST fucking be honest with me and rsvp no#anyway i was very intentional with the few family members i did invite#and specifically invited people i have a rapport with / had a good (ish lol) relationship with growing up#people i have bent over backwards trying to please!!! and dropping everything to help them out#and they can’t even be bothered to communicate with me lol it’s fine. like. i do feel like it’s internalized homophobia at this point#or maybe they have hated me this entire time which is totally plausible#but they KNOW how much ayesha means to me and knows that no one from her family is coming to our wedding#at the end of the day it’s going to be like. 5 people from my family 1 from ayesha’s (her brother) and like 30-40 friends#which i am so grateful for obviously#i sound like such a brat but it’s also like - watching your family continuously choose drugs/alcohol over showing up for you - lol#AGAIN i’m used to this and expected as much but i’m still feeling bad#just rsvp so i can move on with my life please. stop telling me you’re trying to make it work when we both know you aren’t#i have so much more to say but i’m going to sound crazy even though i knooooow it is homophobia like i Know it#i think there are certain people i will finally go no contact with for good after this#which is a freeing thought but i only invited v few family members to begin with. there’s abt to be no one left lmao#probably for the best#ugh whatever#again i can’t help but feel a certain way when they have done more/traveled further for relatives they hardly know#meanwhile i was forced to spend so much of my life living for these people and for them alone#AAAAAAAA i just want to scream#text
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The sillys <3
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