#I’m just posting this and hoping it isn’t nonsense

[romeoistrans1641]

Ok I’m going to vent for a second guys

Tw: transphobia and shit

So I started the coming out process as a trans man about 3 months ago or so. After coming out to my close friends, I made a quick Instagram story and posted it on my close friends story (not everyone on there was a “close friend”, just people that I generally trust and like) explaining my new name and pronouns. Everyone was super chill and accepting of it (to some varying degree) and I’m so so grateful for that. I started coming out to my band community and was surprised by how quick people picked up on my new name (it def helps that it’s pretty close to my dead name). Anyway all that to say that I AM super grateful that I do have a support system and stuff.

That being said, some people are being total asshats about it all and it’s driving me insane. I have two sisters (and two brothers but they aren’t relevant rn) and coming out to one of them was totally fine, she didn’t care and she still supported me (again, I’m grateful). However, the other one, when I told her, started encouraging me to not transition because she’s “read stories about people who’ve detransitioned” and like I understand that but also detransition rates are super low and god I would rather take the risk me wanting to detransitioning then have to stay like how I am. And then she made some comment about how I’m still growing and changing as a person and I shouldn’t transition yet because I’ll be a totally different person in another couple years. The thing is though, I won’t be? Like I’ll still be me. I definitely will change as a person and I understand that but I’ll still be me. I’m still the little 8 year old who wanted to hang out with all the guys because that’s were I felt I belonged. I’m still the 12 year old who felt out of place wearing dresses and who just wanted to wear suits. I’m still the 15 year old who instantly felt connected to trans people and realizing that I may not be a girl. I’m still all of those people and each single one of those fucking people knew that I was trans. I’ve always been this way. And I don’t deny the possibility that I may be a different gender than just “guy” but whatever I am I know that I want to transition. I know now and I’ve always known.

And then, she started referring to me as “aunt *dead name*” and using she/her pronouns towards my 1 year old nephew. That was honest to god the biggest punch in the god the entire conversation. She didn’t even try to use the name or pronouns I preferred. She didn’t even attempt to do anything to show she supported me, and it was so fucking obvious that she didn’t. It was obvious that she still saw me as her little sister that doesn’t know what I want. And it’s just so fucking awful that she can’t be supportive. I don’t understand why it’s such a big deal to her. I don’t. All I needed was someone to support me, and that’s kinda what hurts most of all. I love her and I care about her a lot and her support would’ve meant so much to me. And know, I don’t even know anymore. I still love her a lot but god I just wished she would be a supportive person. All I need is someone to call me by the name that I want and the pronouns I choose. That’s all I wanted from her. And now it feels like some part of me lost a sister.

And after that whole thing happened, she kinda casually let drop that she didn’t agree with my decision to do this (which, btw, it isn’t her fucking decision so she can shut up) but she also didn’t agree with my decision to date a woman (my now ex). Like. What? I actually thought she was supportive of me being bi all this time. I had no idea that she cared who I dated. And this is a pattern that I’ve noticed with other people too. I’ve had a few other people who I could openly talk about being bi with and they didn’t care until I told them that I was trans. Then, all of a sudden, they have an issue with me being bi as well as trans. It’s almost like queer people aren’t a big deal to them until they have to change the way they interact with other people. Maybe I’m thinking too much but that’s what it feels like to me. It feels like people are “accepting” of queer people only because it’s the socially acceptable thing to do. Because they know that if they hate on cis queer people, they’re gonna get a shit ton of push back. For trans people though, it’s a lot easier to not be supportive and still be accepted by others. Transphobia is more ok to the general population than homophobia is, so people that are both homophobic and transphobic know that they should hide their homophobia but not their transphobia. That could also very much be the community that I grew up in.

Anyway I just really needed to vent about all this. It just drives me insane. I don’t understand why people would be transphobic, it’s literally not that big of a deal. It doesn’t fucking hurt you, so why should you care? It actually doesn’t make sense to me.

[mamahoggs]

[miupow]

투모로우바이투게더 一 𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐗𝐓 𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐀𝐒𝐌。

★ pairing。txt x fem!reader ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎g。⧼ 📖 ⧽ smut , pwp ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎ ‎cw。dom!txt , unprotected sex , creampie mentions , men whimpering and moaning 🙏 , praise kink , dirty talk , pet names/name calling (bitch is used in bg’s sorry) , breeding kink if you squint | to library。

notes from lia。inspired by a skz post i saw on my dash teehee >_< a little drabble thingie to help me get back into the swing of writing ! hope you enjoy~ <3

수빈 𝐒𝐎𝐎𝐁𝐈𝐍

while soobin is a yapper outside of bed, he’s relatively quiet in it— that being said, that doesn’t mean he isn’t noisy. cute little whines and whimpers spilling out from between his plush bunny lips, staccato moans that grow higher and higher in pitch the closer he gets to his orgasm. but god he’s anything but quiet when his climax overtakes him, his eyes rolling back in his head as he moans so deep and broken, a complete 180 from his falsetto hiccups from before >< he pants like a dog as he rides through it, hips stuttering and twitching like he can’t bare the thought of staying still. his big cock spills so much cum everywhere, thick and sticky, makes a complete mess wherever it lands (in your holes, on your face, on your tits, on his own hand and belly, etc..) immediately floods you with praise once he remembers how to speak again, he’s so sweet <3

“o-oh, fuck, bunny, i’m cumming—! t-take it all, that’s it, that’s a good girl…”

연준 𝐘𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐉𝐔𝐍

the prettiest porn star moans you’ll ever hear, pouty lips open in a perfect “o” <3 he gets so stupid on pussy he can’t even think straight, babbling complete nonsense cos he can’t keep his mouth shut to save his life !! his moans get so whiny and pathetic the closer he gets to his climax, his whimpers sounding almost like he’s crying as he’s chasing his orgasm <3 lets out one long, loud, shrill pretty whine when he cums, high pitched and needy, trailing off into broken little sobs as his hips keep thrusting like he’s trying to milk himself dry, he just can’t stop!! his face gets so pink when he cums too it’s so cute :( buries his face in ur neck to hide his embarrassment as he comes down from his high hehe huffing like he just ran a marathon

“oh god, baby, i’m gonna cum, ‘m gonna cum, i c-can’t— w-where do you want it? i-inside?! oh, fuuck…”

범규 𝐁𝐄𝐎𝐌𝐆𝐘𝐔

throws his head back and lets out a moan so deep and broken it almost counts as a howl, so animalistic as his body shakes with his release. his pretty adam’s apple bobbing up and down his veiny neck, sucking on it will only make him cum harder <3 gets so loud you’re always worried he’ll wake up the neighbors, but if anything that’s what beomgyu wants— he loves letting everyone know how good you make him feel, how hard you make him cum with your pretty body beneath or on top of him ! won’t stop yapping even when he’s in the middle of the throws of his orgasm, stuttering out in his gravely low voice broken, nearly nonsensical dirty talk as he struggles to gain control back over his body <3 mixing up praise and degradation and everything in between, he’s just so cute you can’t help but giggle

“fuck, fuck, fuck! ‘m gonna cum, don’t fucking stop, shit—! fuck yes, take it, take this cum, that’s my girl, that’s my bitch!”

태현 𝐓𝐀𝐄𝐇𝐘𝐔𝐍

loses all composure once his climax starts creeping up on him, suddenly all he can think about is how badly he needs to cum!! he’s always so focused on your pleasure over his own, but once his orgasm is close he becomes nothing more than an animal !! huffing and puffing like he’s in the middle of a serious workout, so poised and focused even when his head is all empty except for pussy teehee <3 he’s always on the quieter side in bed but he gets pretty loud when he cums, crying out all high and whiny as he spills hot thick cum everywhere, preferably in your pussy, he hates letting his seed go to waste ! <3 sucking his dick is the best way to get him to get really noisy , he loses his mind with his cock in a tight wet throat <3 always grits his teeth and bares them like a predator, sharp canines on display with his pretty face all screwed up ..

“i-i— oh, fuck, fuck! i’m gonna cum if you keep doing that!”

휴닝카이 𝐇𝐔𝐄𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐊𝐀𝐈

kai gets so lost in pleasure sometimes, he just can’t help but turn into a wild animal… and it’s even worse the closer he gets to his orgasm, the tightening knot in his belly all he can think about, focus on.. practically starts using you like nothing more than a pocket pussy , big hands grabbing tightly ahold of you and moving you against him however he wants, just lay still and take it!! <3 cums so hard he cries sometimes, pretty broken moans sounding like angel choruses, rendered completely unable to speak the closer and closer he gets! just grunting and moaning, slack jawed and cross eyed, pussy drunk and fucked stupid… his cry of relief gets so loud that sometimes he has to bite down on either a pillow or your flesh, just to keep from waking everyone up !! whiny, high pitched, almost a sob.. he sounds so completely broken when he cums, fat dick spurting so much cum it’s insane.. leaves the whole bed wet and messy with both yours and his release by the time he’s done with you <3

“i’m gonna cum, i’m— im cumming, baby, oh my god, please don’t stop! o-oh fuck, i’m cumming, i’m cumming—!”

[luckykiwiii101]

Get Uncomfortable To Get Comfortable

(This is how you should be):

WHY has the void state community forgotten about the law of assumption?! It’s gotten to a point where you just hope you’ll wake up in the void state one day and manifest your dream life.

All this nonsense saying that you can’t enter the void state and you don’t believe you can. Then you ask for help on how to enter it. As if the law of assumption isn’t what brought you to the void state in the first place.

If you don’t believe you can enter the void state, you never will. You aren’t going to magically enter it by the force of the fairy standing on your pillow.

I’m not even bothered to make a whole damn post about this and sign it off with gossip girl because you people aren’t getting this info into your thick little brains. You’re the reason you don’t have what you want. Does that make you feel uncomfortable? Yes? No? If the answers yes, then do something about it!!! If the answers no, then you’re too comfortable not doing anything about it!!

Do you think all these people who’ve manifested their dream lives just sulked in their old state and identified with the things they DONT want?! No!! They put on a new skin and wore it. Just imagine being in somebody else’s body right now. That would feel uncomfortable wouldn’t it. It’s not supposed to feel comfortable at first!! The more you persist, the more comfortable you get.

Get uncomfortable to get comfortable. In other words, make your new state COMFORTABLE so that the old one is UNCOMFORTABLE.

I’ve said it a million times and this is the last time i’m saying it.

CHANGE.YOUR.ASSUMPTIONS!!! or be miserable

[revelboo]

I've seen people talk about waiting impatiently for another chapter of a story. I've never actually experienced it myself until now.

I just want you to know that these little posts about Starscream and the little human are my first experience actually setting my tumblr to alert me when someone posts and then frantically scrolling to read it lol.

Your writing is phenomenal and I love the physical descriptions you use for sensory type stuff. Just..... BRAVO!

I genuinely get a jolt of endorphins with each post!

And I hope you are doing well and having a nice day!

Awww, thank you! I’m glad you like my nonsense! Starscream’s pretty fun to write.

Everything is Alright Pt 18

Starscream x Reader

• Venting loudly, he tips his head back against his berth. Can feel you still staring at him anyway, but he doesn’t look. Doesn’t need to see those pleading eyes, because his resolve will crumble. Just needs this contact, the warmth of your small form and the steady drum of your heart to ground himself. To prove you’re really okay. “No,” he growls, the word a firm warning that he couples with a gentle, but firm warning tap of a servo to the back of your head. “If you’d run into anyone smarter, you wouldn’t have survived.”

• Something he really doesn’t want to think about, but that his processor is delighting in torturing him with. You’re just so fragile. Breakable. With any luck, Scrapper immediately forgot all about seeing a human. With how many blows to the helm the mech has taken over the decades, his processor isn’t the most reliable. It’s honestly amazing he remembers his own name sometimes. “The cassettes kept me safe,” you protest, pushing up and he immediately pins you flat again under his palm. The cassettes. Why exactly you think they’re safe, he’s not sure. They certainly tossed you right at him on sight to save themselves. Denta working, he shutters his optics to keep from snarling. He’s not jealous of the fact that you seem to like their company. Of course not.

• He’s not sleeping or whatever passes for it in Cybertronians, just ignoring your protests. The hand laying across your lower body to keep you in place isn’t still. One single servo slides over the back of your head down between your shoulder blades again and again. Stroking almost absentmindedly, but it still slowly drains the tension out of you. And him, too you’re pretty sure. Cheek laying against him, you can feel the thrum of whatever it is inside him and smell him, a spiced scent with a metallic bite. Not unpleasant, just different.

• Blowing out a frustrated breath, you swallow a groan. You were so sure the cassettes are your get out of jail free card. Or at least, a day pass from spending the time he’s out and about doing whatever his alien robot job entails staring at the walls of his quarters alone. Pestering is just likely to make him angry and you don’t want to ruin this fragile peace. Or try to figure out what exactly you are to him, because it’s unlikely to make you feel better. And that brings you back to the look that has been on his face. That violent fury that had just fallen away because you were okay. He’d been worried. Maybe even terrified. And it makes your heart ache.

• He’s told you that he’s the second in command before while grumbling about his leader, this Megatron with a mix of sneering revulsion and an uneasy fear that’s only betrayed by his wings. What you know about the Decepticons is pretty sketchy at best, but you get the distinct impression that being second in command isn’t exactly glamorous. Maybe more like others constantly gunning for his spot by any means necessary. Which almost makes a sort of sense. If you are seen as a weakness of his, you might be targeted. It might be safer to be kept a secret. And trapped in his quarters for your own safety. Even if you hate it, you never want to see that stark fear on his face again.

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[dumbseee]

bro code. pt3.

part 1. part 2.

carlos sainz jr x reader.

fc: bruna marquezine.

note: sorry for the mistakes this might have, english isn’t my first language and this is the longest fic i’ve ever written :) btw this will be the last part.

liked by landonorris, y/n, charles_leclerc and 1 589 008 others.

carlossainz55: happy birthday to the person who owns my heart. you helped me experience true love, and for that i’ll forever be grateful. your heart is pure and you always want the best for people, i love every little detail about you, like the way you always count to three before jumping into the pool because you were afraid of it when you were younger, or the way you always kiss my forehead before every race because you say it’s my lucky charm. you are my lucky charm, mi cielito. i love you so much y/n, thank you for giving me the chance to show you how you deserved to be loved.

_

y/n: how dare you making me cry on my birthday carlos sainz :( i love you more <3

carlossainz55: @.y/n not possible, i’m bigger than you so i can hold more love for you.

fan1: I JUST FELL TO MY KNEES

fan2: WHEN IS IT MY DAMN TURN

fan3: god it’s me again…

fan4: im going to kms in front of them to change the trajectory of their lives istg

fan5: GOOOOOOSH CARLOS IS ABISDODLLD

landonorris: damn sainz, even i am tearing up

fan6: just get married already

fan7: after n*ymar, y/n deserved a man like that

liked by marquinhosm5, carolcabrino, neymarpai_ and 3 788 082 others.

neymarjr: my heart is empty without you, you’ve blocked me so i can’t wish you a happy birthday privately but please y/n come back to me. you succeeded, that stunt you pulled with that random driver hurt me, you can stop now. i know that you miss me and want to comeback so please y/n be reasonable. i made a huge mistake and i’ll never forgive myself for what i did to us.

_

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your day went terribly, it was your birthday and you were excited for it but your day was completely ruined with neymar’s post. because of course, you saw it the second he posted it. your agent called you, panicked and told you to avoid social media, but it was too late. you were home when you saw it and had a huge panic attack. you didn’t tell carlos and you prayed that he didn’t see the post which was very unlikely since neymar mentioned him. you were more mad at the fact that he disrespected carlos because he didn’t deserve it. even if your relationship was fake to the world, carlos was nothing but a sweetheart to you. you even hoped that the moments you shared with him were true.

carlos texted you to come at his house to have a small party with some friends but you almost had a heart attack when you entered the house and saw all those people screaming "happy birthday!" filming you to have your reaction. carlos had a very different definition of « small party ». you saw him walk towards you with a huge smile, he was breathtaking, wearing nude pants and a blue shirt, letting the top buttons open, showing a bit of his torso. you were completely mesmerised by him, that was the effect carlos had on you.

"surprise cielito." he said after kissing your cheek, he wrapped his arm around your waist and gave you a hug. you melted in his touch and smiled at him. "you didn’t need to do all that, carlos." you said. "nonsense, it’s your birthday after all." you smiled at him and kissed his cheek before some friends of yours came to greet you and wish you a happy birthday. carlos’ purpose was to make your birthday special, especially with what happened earlier with your ex. he knew how this whole situation affected you deeply, even if you tried to hide it from him, carlos saw right through you. he could tell if you were upset just by looking at your face.

"umm, carlos?" lando’s voice took him out of his thoughts, he looked at his friend but frowned when he saw the look on his face. "look who showed up." lando whispered as if the whole room didn’t see who came uninvited. you gotta be kidding me. carlos turned around to see where you were and his heart tightened when he saw the look on your face, pure sadness. anger took over him immediately, that son of a bitch made you sad on your special day. carlos wasn’t going to let that slide. the spaniard quickly made his way to neymar who was asking people about where you were. the driver roughly turned the brazilian around so he could face him. neymar was about to say something to the person who just interrupted him but he only rolled his eyes when he saw carlos.

"what do you want sainz? where is my girl?" he asked, looking over carlos’ shoulder. neymar looked very drunk. carlos could feel anger buildup inside of him. how dare he? "you’re in my house so, i’ll ask you once and once only, leave before i make you leave." carlos said through gritted teeth. neymar scoffed before taking a step closer to the spaniard, being almost forehead against forehead. "are you threatening me, hijo da puta?" carlos was about to respond when charles and lando quickly appeared to separate the two of them. "okay, it’s enough now boys." charles said trying to lighten the mood. "move! i’m not done with him!" neymar pushed charles away which made carlos even more mad. "listen here, little boy. first you steal my woman and then you disrespect me in front of all these people. you think i’ll let that slide, coño?" the brazilian added while pushing carlos with his finger. at this point there was nothing charles or lando could do to stop them. "let me clarify one thing, junior, she was never yours to begin with. and trust that now that she has tasted true love, she’s never leaving." carlos said with a smile, which made neymar go crazy. the footballer grabbed carlos’ collar. "you made her cry for weeks, you destroyed her completely, and now you dare to show your face and claiming her as your woman? how dare you call yourself a man and make the woman you’re supposed to love and cherish, cry?" the spaniard said before getting closer to neymar’s ear. "if you dare to even whisper her name in your sleep, i’ll come for you, neymar da silva santos junior."

neymar finally let go of carlos before leaving quickly. the driver was now concerned about where you were hiding. as he was looking at the crowd of people, who were still talking about what just happened, lando approached his friend. "she’s with luisa and charlotte, they’re on the balcony." carlos nodded before patting his friend’s shoulder as a thank you. he quickly made it to his balcony where the girls were talking, luisa noticed him and patted charlotte’s shoulder to tell her that they needed to go. carlos sent them a thankful smile before walking towards you. your back was facing him and you were too lost in your thoughts to even notice his presence. he gently hugged you from behind which made you jump before you recognised his fragrance. "carlos." you simply said. "yes, cielito, are you okay?" he asked, resting his chin on your shoulder. you sighed before looking up at the moon, shining on the both of you. "i guess? is he gone?" you asked with a small voice, feeling the tears threatening to fall again. "yes, for real this time." you frowned before turning around to face carlos.

you were still extremely close as his hands were on your waist and your hands on his chest. he looked ethereal under the moonlight. "carlos, what am i to you?" you finally asked the question you were scared to even ask yourself. carlos smiled before moving his face closer to you. "you’re the love of my life." and then he kissed your lips. he kissed you like you’ve always dreamed to be kissed. with love, respect and passion. carlos was the first one to break the kiss, he looked at you and replaced a wild strand of hair behind your ear. "none of this was fake to me, every word, every attention, everything was real to me."

liked by carlossainz55, landonorris, charlottesiine and 1 789 007 others.

y/n: thank you everyone for all the birthdays wishes! and thanks to my amazing boyfriend for throwing this party for me. i love you to the moon and back, handsome and i thank god everyday for giving me the chance to be your girlfriend.

_

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_

taglist: @mjaudrey @champomiel @lorarri @watersquirtpewpewboomm @ndunad @shrimpyshrimp @gaviypedrisbride @little-angel-07 @ironmaiden1313 @leclerc16s @xjval @elijahslover @hearts4esmee @love4lando

thanks for the support 🤍🥹

[lifespectator]

Punk Nun

Power bottom nun!Wanda Maximoff x Reader

Summary: The pretty nun named Wanda ended up with you…

Warnings: no specified gender but reader is AMAB, VERY little plot, mostly smut MINORS DNI, strong language, some angst Ig but hopeful ending.

A/N: I’m back and posting this to proof that visiting Santa Monica Pier at night changes a person lol anyways sorry if it isn’t the best but hope you enjoy it. Also, art not mine so credit to the original artist.

-

Who would have thought?

"I'm eager to see what's under that habit." You eyed up the horny nun as your wish to see her nude body grew more and more with each second, along with the need to touch her.

That pretty innocent-looking nun with short strawberry blonde hair that had crossed a few glances with you on the few times you did attend church would end up in your room—sitting on the edge of your bed, looking at you with lustful eyes.

It happened too fast. You heard a knock on your door, and Wanda stood there, perplexing you. When you thought she would read the Bible to you, she pushed past you with the excuse of wanting to talk to you like you had offered last time. Things went up from there, so you just chalked it up to 'fate.'

A low moan left the nun's mouth, seeing as you removed your black shirt, exposing your bare torso to her. She looked attentively at your body. Looks like your build was eye candy for her.

"I promise to let you touch." You said as Wanda shifted her attention to you. "But for now, you're in my house, so we'll do a ritual." With that, you walked out of the room. The words that had come out of your mouth had only elevated her sensation of need between her legs.

A sin? Yes. An unforgivable one for sure. She had made her vows to the church. But it wasn't her fault. Wanda never wanted to be part of that. Before, she was a typical teen with dreams and aspirations like many others. But one day, her parents told her they had chosen her life path. Why? Because they had some dream that Wanda would become a nexus being that would destroy everything. Pure nonsense, she always thought. Her biggest regret is that she never fought against her parents' decision.

It didn't matter anymore because she was with you now, and no one could stop her.

Wanda removed her loafers before you came back into the room. Carrying a bottle of red wine, you walked towards her and gently laid the bottle on the bed. She couldn't resist having you so close and lifted her hand and ran it over your abdomen. A low gasp left your mouth at her gentle touch.

"Couldn't stop yourself, huh?" You grabbed a part of the fabric of her habit. "Help me a bit." Wanda raised her arms, letting you gently pull it off her, exposing her beautiful body that was only covered by her black panties. Only Wanda's perky tits were exposed but adorned with a silver cross pendant that hung from a matching necklace. From her face down, she was worthy of being described as a goddess.

"The real sin is having you wear this, which doesn't allow me to see such beauty." You lusted, tossing the habit away, and instead reached for her soft breast, caressing them to feel their softness, making her breathing hitched when you rubbed your thumb on her perky tit. "I will have to include this in my thesis now." You teased, squeezing her breast.

"Oh, you're a priest now?" Wanda asked in a challenging tone, pushing your hands off her bust.

Cheeky. Despite not speaking much, Wanda announced she was not as innocent as she looked.

"I ain't no Martin Luther." You grinned, lightly pushing her against the bed and crawling on top of her. "But I'll gladly be your punk monk, my dear punk nun."

You planted your lips on hers as Wanda gave you access to her mouth. She reciprocated, deepening the kiss. Her tongue was swirling with yours. It was noticeable how it wasn't her first "steamy" makeout. How her hands ran from your hair to your back demonstrated how much she wanted this as much as you did. Her soft hands made her touch unique.

You parted your lips from hers and rested them on the tip of her ear.

"I'm going to begin my ritual." A low moan escaped Wanda's mouth, shivering at the feeling of your warm breath next to her ear.

You got off Wanda and kneeled beside her on the bed, grabbing the bottle of wine and opening it quickly. You offered her the bottle first, which she grabbed without hesitation. It was her favorite, after all. The nun took a deep sip of it and handed it back.

She laid back down at your instruction, letting you do as you pleased with her now. You ran your hand through her soft abdomen, preparing to give her the unexpected.

You lifted the wine bottle and tilted it towards her, pouring some of the wine on her belly button. Wanda jolted and let out a high-pitched hiss at the feeling of the cool liquid making contact with her skin.

"It's okay, beauty. You're okay." You comforted the nun. Her glare softened once she heard your words.

When the naughty nun was relaxed again, you lowered your head into her abdomen and sucked the wine that had stained her skin. Some breathy moans left her mouth as you sucked the red wine on her skin, especially at the sensitivity of her stomach. Groans left your mouth at the feeling of her warm skin. You sucked and even licked her skin until there was no trace of any liquid ever being there.

Your hand made contact with her black panties, making your cock twitch when you felt how drenched in her arousal fluids they were. The touch of your fingers on the cotton fabric that separates you from her entrance was enough to make her moan.

"Hurry the fuck up." Wanda cried when you teased her by rubbing your fingers on the fabric.

"What would your fellow sisters say with that vocabulary of yours?" You grabbed her panties from the waist and gently pulled them off her.

"I don't know. You're the one who is said not to worry about what other people say." Wanda raised her legs to assist you in removing her panties.

You passed your fingers on the top of her exposed entrance that was glistening with her wetness. Wanda mouthed a moan. "Nice to know that you do listen to me." You remarked.

Wanda moaned as you rubbed her entrance. "Fuck." She Let out when you started rubbing her clit followed by other curse words. Shaking her legs at the sensation. Her losing control gave you ideas. Without warning, you inserted two fingers into her entrance. Her sudden gasp turned into repeated moans when you started pumping your fingers into her fast. "Just like that." She begged, feeling you increase your pace. "Cum for me, nun." You groaned, feeling her walls tighten around your fingers, followed by a loud moan of hers and then the feeling of her warm fluids coming out of her pussy, getting all over your hand and staining the bed.

You brought your hand up to you and licked off her cum, savoring the taste.

You unbuckle your belt and slide off your jeans, accompanied by your boxers. Finally, let out your hardened cock, twitching at the thought of being inside Wanda.

"Show me how much you wanted this." You lay in the bed, inviting the sex-starved nun to get on top of you. She crawled on top of you, her legs on each side of your thighs. "I'll make you lose control." She smirked, looking down at you. Her confidence in her voice piqued your curiosity and even increased your need for her. "Show, not tell." You countered, also smirking and running your hand through her legs.

Letting out a low moan when you felt her soft hand grabbed your hardened cock and gave it a few slow strokes before aligning it with her entrance. She kept looking down, breathing out moans when she rubbed your tip with her slit and slowly took your whole length. "Ahh." Similar moans and some groans came out of your and Wanda's mouths as she felt your length go deeper while you felt her wet walls around your cock. You melted at the unknown energy she had. Almost as if it was another person.

You were left in a trance as you felt her soft, warm walls surrounding your cock that you overlooked when she bent down to whisper in your ear. "Let me know if you can't handle it." You weren't able to process her words once she started rocking back and forth on your cock at a slow pace to accustom to your size.

"You're a demon in disguise, huh?" You groaned at her sensual actions. Wanda placed her hands on your chest. "Let's find out." She started moving at a faster pace, waves of pleasure going through both your bodies. Wanda whimpered as she repeatedly sank into your cock. The view it gave you was mesmerizing as the way her breasts bounced, which impulsed you into grabbing them again. Kneading and teasing her perked nipples. "Keep going." She encouraged you in a breathy voice, inviting you to do more with her.

Wanting more of her body, your hands left her breast and, out of instinct, reached for her ass and held her with a tight grip stopping her movements.

"You might hurt me," Wanda teased in a raspy voice between breaths, coming to a stop and having an idea of what you were about to do. "Too late to back out now." You stretched her bum a bit before and, with no warning, pumped your cock as deeply as possible into her needy pussy. The noises of your hips hitting hers just right were barely audible as the repeated moans were louder. You continued until another sexy idea popped into your mind.

Out of nowhere, you turned her over and pinned her down on the bed without pulling out of the pretty nun. She yelped at the sudden action and breathed a bit to regain herself. Your eyes locked with hers; she was panting, sweat rolling down her face. Despite your initial thought, she wasn't amused. "You love being deep inside me." She muttered, making you lose any sense of control you had left in you.

You began moving your hips, pushing your cock deep in Wanda as much as you could at a pace that even made the bed creak. Wanda's hands gripped your biceps tightly as you started hitting the right spot. The sound of her moans and skin-to-skin contact pushed you to increase your pace; at the same time, her nails started digging into your skin; you were too lost in the pleasure even to notice it.

The good sensation of her walls clenching on you announced what was coming, so you didn't stop. You wanted to feel every last bit of her like she did of you. Wanda let out a high-pitched moan as you felt her warm juices fall on your cock, announcing her release of pleasure that you had helped build up. You stayed there on top of her, still hard, waiting for her to regain her breath. Needless to say that you were euphoric to release as well, which led you to pull out of her gently, and after giving yourself a few strokes, you reached your high as thick ropes of your cum landed just outside Wanda's entrance and her inner thighs. You Guessed this was the closest to getting to heaven as you can get.

"Fuck.. that was.. was great." Wanda panted, looking up to see you trying to smile while you regained your breath, then gently moved off her to lay beside her. You would follow up on what she said, but she stood up and went to the bathroom. "You alright?" You asked, concerned that you might have hurt her with your roughness. But again, no response from her.

You got up and followed her into the bathroom after sliding on your boxers, where Wanda had gotten one of your towels to clean herself up. You stood there waiting for her to acknowledge you, but she did not react as if you weren't there. You sighed before taking the initiative to break the uncomfortable silence. "Hey." You spoke almost like a middle schooler talking with their crush for the first time.

The nun stopped her actions, looking down after finally acknowledging you. Wanda sighed and looked back up at the mirror in front. "It's just," She gritted her teeth. "Fuck," She muttered, letting the towel hit the floor. "I have to return to my boring life as a nun." Her words expressed impotence and frustration.

You stayed quiet, imagining Wanda's daily torment of being somewhere she didn't want. A literal place that can be a dream killer. Well, you didn't have to. Living in the same old boring town took away your will to live mentally. But it was nothing compared to what Wanda has been through.

"Maybe you don't have to, Wanda," You picked up the towel and put it around Wanda's shoulder to cover her. Your words made her look at you with curiosity and perhaps a bit of hope, which she needed at this time. "Why don't we leave this shitty place together?" You offered, as shock and confusion plastered on her face.

"What do you mean?" She asked, still trying to understand what you had said.

"Fuck whatever we have here. Let's leave somewhere else where we can be ourselves and leave all this behind." You said as you realized what some of her concerns could be. Also, the fact that you barely knew each other. "There is no easy way to explain, but just think about it."

Wanda said nothing but was attentive to your words. She said nothing at first, but the smile that started to creep on her face was enough to confirm that she had already made her decision, and it would be one that would change something for both.

[sixosix]

HOLD ON TO THE MEMORIES, AND I WILL HOLD ONTO YOU | LYNEY

notes happy last chapter!! hope u enjoy<33 and tune in for another post in appreciation for the last chapter yeahhh

previous chapter | masterlist

It took two months in Sumeru, three in Liyue, and one month in Snezhnaya to take you down. Childe admitted that you held up longer than he expected—training unrelentingly in an unfamiliar environment would shake anyone’s confidence. But you’d been pushing through with excitement at the prospect of traveling to another region and training to become stronger. The adrenaline is quick to disappear when Rosalie has to go back home, and her absence makes the cold loneliness prominent.

When Childe strikes at you with a sword, your calves burn, and your thighs quiver—that split second costs you the match. Childe calls for you to get up. Fight back. But for some reason, all you can think of is how the ice has melted in your boots in a puddle and how the flowers sprinkled sporadically in the snow are the same ones back at home.

Childe senses it, the sudden drop of mood. He studies whatever expression you’re making and smiles.

“Alright. I think it’s about time.”

“I’m sorry.”

Childe pulls you up and throws your arm over his shoulder. “What’re you sorry for?”

You take one heavy step at a time, watching and hating as your feet sink into the soft snow. It’s too cold. “You’re doing so much for me, but I’m too weak to follow through.”

“Nonsense.” He clicks his tongue. “I think of this as one of my duties.”

“But it’s not one of your duties,” you argue weakly. “I’m a burden to your actual duties. My colleagues are already suspicious of this special treatment.”

“They aren’t really your colleagues,” Childe points out. “Just as you aren’t actually working under me. You’re my mentee. There’s a world of difference.”

You sigh, unconvinced. Childe is doing so much to prevent the other Harbingers and even the Tsaritsa herself from snooping in your business. A part of you thinks the Tsaritsa already knows, but it’s about time she does something about it, right?

“You’re thinking too hard,” Childe remarks. When you turn to him, he’s staring ahead. “Don’t worry, okay? You’ve got three Harbingers vouching for you.”

“Three?”

Childe grins. “That boyfriend of yours is about to be one, isn’t he?”

Excitement thrums in each bone of your body as the familiar view of the continent-sized fountain comes to view. You nearly fall over into the ocean from tipping forward.

“Fontaine’s not going anywhere,” Childe yells out from the other side of the Fatui-issued ship.

The wind whips through your hair. The recognizable scent of the sea breeze makes you laugh in delight. Maybe you missed your home more than you realized. 

“I wouldn’t let it, anyway,” you answer back.

Once the ship has reached the dock, you bound over to Childe, who looks over curiously.

“Thank you,” you say, and you really, really mean it. For the past few months, for this and possibly for more in the future.

Childe ruffles your hair. It would’ve made you glare at him on usual days, but you’re bursting with happiness so you let him until he says, “No problem, Y/N. We’re friends now.”

Childe nudges you forward. “Now, go hurry. I’m about one messenger bird away from losing my patience with Lyney.”

Despite that, you meet with Rosalie first.

The sun has barely risen, just peeking from rolling hills. The shop is still closed. But this is your home, so you push the key in, pull the door open, and catch sight of Rosalie fixing the displays on the shelf behind the counter.

“Maman, why are you up so early?”

Rosalie’s head whips around, then her limbs lock up in place. She’d been with you for the first two weeks of Sumeru, admiring their flora, then taking a lot of them home. You see them displayed on the shelves next to your first flower—the ones that are certainly for sale. Rosalie still hasn’t moved, frozen, gaping at you.

“Surprise,” you say, then she boots back to life and runs over to hug you.

“Oh, my darling,” Rosalie says reverently, as if speaking to the gods, thanking them. Her hands are stained with soil dirt and the smell of leaves, but you find that there is nothing else more fitting. You really are home. “Ma bébé! You’re back!”

You pluck a few petals off of her hair. “I am.”

Rosalie pulls back and grins up at you. “You’re home! You’re—” her face twists in realization, “Oh, you’re back. Oh, dear. You just missed Lyney. He came over earlier to help me settle everything before I opened up.”

“Wait, really?”

Rosalie nods, ushering you inside the counter, where the door leads to upstairs to the kitchen. “Yes, yes. Since I returned, Lyney has been coming over to visit and help me with the shop.”

Your heart skips a beat. “He does?”

“Mhm. At first, I assumed it was because he got used to visiting you, but he just does it every day now. ” Rosalie shakes her head fondly, smoothing down your hair. “That boy. I tell him that he should focus when he has shows to practice or prepare for, but he just buries his hands in the dirt as an answer.”

“I see you two have gotten closer while I was away.” The image of Lyney changing pots, getting his hands soiled, while he insists that Rosalie does the watering, makes you unbelievably fond.

“As stubborn as you,” Rosalie chides, smiling. “He knows how to handle them, though. Did you know, Lyney started to send out messenger birds when I told him I was missing you? That boy is more than head over heels, darling.”

“Maman,” you say, embarrassed. “I just came back. Aren’t you going to ask how I am?”

“I don’t need to. Lyney updates me anyway,” Rosalie says. “But I have missed you, so tell your maman about everything, okay?”

“I’ll tell you stories for as long as you want me to, maman.”

Rosalie’s eyes water, but she braves through it as she stares wordlessly at you. She wipes it off, then ruffles your hair. Do you have a sign on your head or something? 

“I’m proud to call you my daughter. I’ll always want you to.”

Freminet is the first out of the siblings to hear from you. It’s not on purpose. You’re on your way to surprise Lyney and Lynette when you hear a soft voice call out after you. Your head snaps side to side, frantically looking for the source, then grin wide when Freminet waves at you feverishly.

“Y/N!” he exclaims breathlessly.

“Freminet!” you yell back, falling towards a hug that he tightly reciprocates. 

“I didn’t know you were back?” He says incredulously, which might just be the most passionate emotion you’ve ever felt from him. He looks torn between disbelief and joy.

“Just this morning. I wanted to surprise all of you.” To gain a sense of satisfaction, you bury your hand in his hair first, knocking his beret aside when you ruffle and mess with his hair. “Your hair’s gotten longer than usual.”

“Yeah. You missed too much,” Freminet mumbles. But he doesn’t look depressed about it. He beams up at you, reminding you of a particularly pleased puppy.  “You have a lot to catch up on.”

“I know, I know.”

“But wait.” Freminet’s brows scrunch together. “How long are you allowed to stay here?”

“Two weeks, at most. But I can always come back whenever I want.”

Freminet laughs. “Are you going to max out your two weeks before you talk to Lyney?”

“Shut up.” You elbow his ribs, but Freminet just laughs harder. “I was on my way to your house before I saw you.”

Freminet hums thoughtfully, his gaze drifting off to somewhere far. “I don’t think Lyney’s home right now.”

“Really?” You follow his gaze, but see nothing. Only kids running around, throwing cards around and sounding explosions with their mouths. You smile. Were they imitating Lyney? It seems that even if you try to avoid him, you’ll find traces of his footsteps anywhere. “Huh. Where could he be then?”

“Ever since you left, Lyney goes to this one spot a lot,” Freminet says, turning back to you with a knowing glint in his eye.

“Ma mère’s shop?”

“No, no. A different one. He says you two sparred there, and he goes there when he misses you. He goes every day.”

Rosalie, then now Freminet… You feel giddy, fondness bursting in your chest at the thought of Lyney missing you as much as you missed him. Not that you’d admit it to him straight up—because then he’d never let it go. But even then, the thought of that has you smiling to yourself like a madman.

Freminet notices it, too. “I’ll tell Lynette you said hi.”

True to his word, you find Lyney in the same spot he asked you to spar with him after years without it. You face his back, but you keep your steps light and measured, moving closer and closer until you see that he’s picking flowers. For his show, maybe?

Lyney looks vulnerable, hunched over a patch of flowers and gently unrooting them from the grass.

You spread your palm and let ice materialize above it in the shape of a heart. It’s smooth and clean after months and months of perfecting it. Then you throw it towards him. You have exceptional aim—you barely miss his ear on purpose. But Lyney straightens up in a snap and catches the heart with a gloved hand.

He looks at the heart in confusion, then rapidly whips around to you.

You grin and wave, unsure of what to say. What do you even greet him with? It’s nice to see you again? I missed you?

You haven’t had much time to think about it as Lyney sprints to you and tackles you down into a hug, blowing the air out of your chest as you both fall on the grass. You laugh as Lyney rubs his head on your neck like those affectionate cats back at Sumeru, his arm wrapped tightly around your shoulder.

Lyney pulls away, pupils blown wide.

“Hi,” he breathes out.

“Hi,” you whisper in return. Maybe the right thing to say is, “Lyney.”

“You’re back. You—you’re back in Fontaine—you made me a heart!”

“I did,” you say shyly. “I’m home.”

Sumeru had been wonderful; with trees that stretched and went on for forever, dewy grass that tickled your calves, and the heat of the sand that you longed for when you reached Snezhnaya. Liyue had been beautiful; spread with the aroma of spices and the orange glow of their sunset, then the mountains that allowed you to soar from one to another. Snezhnaya had been enchanting; the view of their sky was unmatched, the flowers that were unique to the cold climate were beautiful, their snow sent you a thrill that you knew you couldn’t feel anywhere else, and you were able to refine your Vision in the place where it belonged.

But the warmth that Lyney emanated—that he gave you—was the kind you missed in every place you went to. This is where you belong.

thank you so much for reading. i'll save all the things i want to say in the next post, so please, tune in!

[idlerin]

NONSENSE

an oikawa tooru social media au

pairing. celebrity!oikawa tooru x f!reader

synopsis. you were oikawa tooru’s #1 fan, until you became his #1 hater. you hated him so much you went viral on twitter (accidentally) and literally became known as “the oikawa tooru hater”, doesn’t help that he keeps fueling the fire by subtweeting you. everyone is all in for this new drama. what isn’t known to the public, is that this particular drama’s been on hold for three years (him being your ex and all).

tags. social media au, celebrity smau, college au, exes to lovers, second chance romance, idiots in love, crack, humor (hopefully), fluff, and perhaps a little angst? ehe (groveling !!)

warnings. time stamps dont really matter unless i say so, cursing, some drinking alcohol n stuff and sometimes suggestive but nothing graphic

status. completed (01/15/23 - 02/11/24)

— playlist.

teasers

teaser 1 — teaser 1.5 — teaser 2

profiles

[name]’s pe(s)ts | in need of medical attention

episodes !

(⚘) — has narrative parts

ACT I

01. rid me of my despair

02. murder is ethically wrong

03. he’s literally everywhere

04. i’m NOT petty (⚘)

05. i think i’ve seen this film before

06. he’s back !

07. baby girl of all baby girls

08. the famous friend

09. forget me not

10. why are you running!? (⚘)

ACT II

11. blast from the past

12. i despise you (⚘)

13. villains are hot (⚘)

14. adulting and other important stuff (⚘)

15. what we look forward to

16. a nightmare dressed like a daydream

17. antithetical girlie

18. this is the tactic (⚘)

19. honey it hurts (⚘)

20. exes and ohs

21. takoyaki cravings

22. kill me with kindness

23. tell me, tell me (⚘)

24. do you think about me?

25. wish u were sober (⚘)

ACT III

26. you look like shit (⚘)

27. a taste of fame

28. reminds me of

29. helpless, breathless (⚘)

30. oh how you woo me

31. all over again

32. disconnected

33. this love is so illogical

34. don’t care if you ruin me (⚘)

35. hate clingy men

36. need you like oxygen (⚘)

37. media craze

38. hard to love (⚘)

39. coming home

40. only your love

EPILOGUE

41. new friends

42. love languages

43. utterly nonsensical

end

✦

bonus content

post break-up [name]

don’t you know that i’m intoxicated !

you said you liked the way i spoke

unsent letter #1

one of the boys

kuroo being a menace for 12 panels straight

kodzuken mayhem

taglist is CLOSED !

to be REMOVED from the taglist you can just send an ask or comment :)

notes. hey so i’m starting my first smau series?!!? *squeals and kicks feet in excitement* i hope i get to finish it lmao i plan to not make it that long prolly around only like 30 chaps! hope u’ll enjoy reading it as much as i’ll enjoy making it! also thank you everyone for 200 followers! i rlly appreciate it &lt;3

icons used as pfps are not mine but the content of this smau is. please do not repost this on any other platform. © idlerin 2023

[needle-thread-thimble-spear]

RGU and the Transfeminine, Part 1

OR

Why Miki Kaoru is an Egg

Fig. 1: The Sunlit Garden

When I’d first watched through Revolutionary Girl Utena, Miki Kaoru was initially one of the characters I had the hardest time figuring out. Unlike the other poisoned sibling relationships in the show, Miki and Kozue’s didn’t really make much sense to me. I couldn’t decide how I felt about the character, whether he was “better” somehow than Touga, Saionji, or Akio, or if he was “just as bad”. And of course. What the hell is with that damn stopwatch dude??* Looking at fan writings afterward just deepened the confusion. Everyone seems to have a different opinion on what’s going on with Miki. It’s only after much re-watching, and introspection, that I think I’ve figured out why I’m so conflicted about the character. I’d like to share why- and hopefully along the way I can at least show that Miki is more interesting than many give him credit for. Click the readmore if you please!

(And, to be clear, what is written below is a reading, a blend of evidence from the text, from the subtext, and my own personal experience. I do not claim to be the first to interpret the character this way nor do I claim that this is the definitive read of the character. Nonetheless, I hope I can make my case to you!)

and, a big thank you to @empty-movement for collating all the high quality screengrabs and scans in this post!

Fig 2: Rookie Princes

While I’m not the first to notice, I think it’s frequently overlooked just how similar Utena and Miki are in the first arc. It’s definitely something that flies over the heads of many first-time viewers. But Miki and Utena, are extremely alike! Of course, they are both motivated by an unattainable image of the past, and Miki’s early episodes codify the “sunlit garden” into the RGU symbolic environment. But it’s more than just this. Utena and Miki both treat Anthy in basically the same way. Utena has an easy time convincing Miki that the dueling game is objectifying nonsense. That the principled thing is to leave the whole exercise behind and treat Anthy like a person. It isn’t very hard for Miki to convince Utena to duel him for her hand either. They both view themselves as her personal protector, and (while maybe at different times), both project their imagination of what she must be thinking onto her. Utena does a bit more than Miki to try and figure Anthy out, but it doesn’t take much for her to get swept up in her own image of prince. In both their minds, Anthy needs them to save her. And, when Anthy looks them in the eyes, and tells them. I’m not yours. It destroys them. Freezes them in their tracks, breaks their hearts. Screaming, its a lie, you can’t mean that! Of course they get along so well! They see themselves in one another, plain as day. Little rival princelings, seeking the affections of the same princess, but always with chivalry and good intention.

Fig 3: Heartbreak

But I think there is more to it than that! Miki and Utena (and later Nanami) are some of the youngest duelists (at least, without a black rose anyway). And, they have fairly similar relationships to the other members of the student council. Juri acts as an older friend, mentor, and source of advice for both of them. Its not unlikely that she sees her younger self in the two of them, and while she does very directly take this out on Utena, its her sword that Utena takes to her second duel with Touga. Indeed, Touga manipulates Miki and Utena in unsubtle and sexually aggressive ways, as compared to how he might treat Saionji or Juri. And for both, its their relationship to gender that he directly attacks. He attempts to break Utena’s spirit by turning her “back into a normal girl”, and for Miki he seems to challenge his masculinity. And while this may seem as though the two of them are being shoved in opposite directions, in both cases, Touga hits them in the same place. “You’re a prince then? I don’t think so. Unless you prove it”. Touga isn’t the only one to question Miki’s ability or status. Utena and Juri both tell Miki. You are much more suited to playing piano than dueling. The main difference here is that they tell him this with genuine compassion, but the implication is the same. You aren’t suited to this prince thing. Give it up.

I don’t think it’s just the audience who is conflicted slotting in Miki with the other “men”.

Fig 4: Strange Friends

Much ink has been spilled on Miki and Kozue’s relationship, but I do think there is one thing consistent across readings. There is a power struggle going on between them, and they’ve both got something to hold over the others head. Personally, I don’t believe there is any attraction between them. Rather, What’s Going On With Those Two is their mismatch in understanding their sexuality and the RGU concept of “Reality”, and the friction that creates in their image of themselves and one another. That reading may go as follows. Miki sees Kozue as acting dangerously and immorally. In his mind, she is his responsibility, to keep out of trouble at the very least. Perhaps he sees himself as needing to step in for their absent parents. So he sees himself as the mature and grounded one, a father figure needing to keep the both of them on the straight and narrow. Kozue on the other hand, sees Miki as being essentially blind to Reality (with a capital R). She believes he doesn’t have a good grasp of what sex is, or what adult relationships look like. She may believe that she understands what happened with their parents much better than Miki, and clearly sees that her brother is in danger with his creepy music teacher. So she sees herself as the mature and grounded one, needing to protect her brother both by warding off people who would take advantage of him and by getting him to grow up and see things as they Really are. Without their parents, they feel the need to take care of one another and control how the other approaches their sexuality. But in the end, it does seem that Kozue is the one who is better able to manipulate Miki’s behavior, helping Akio convince him to duel a second time. That Miki needs to grow up and accept what he wants. He sees a vision of Anthy, and he’s driving the akiomobile. And, with fearful realization, he discovers the identity of End of the World.

Fig 5: Fear

So then. Why should Miki be so hung up about his sexuality? It clearly makes him very uncomfortable. And why does he compare the sister he had in the past onto the one he has in the present? What’s so special about that sunlit garden, anyway? What is Miki Kaoru’s shining thing?

Let me spin a yarn, if you'll indulge me-

As far as Miki remembers it, when he was little things were perfect. His parents were still there, and he and his twin sister were thick as thieves. They would play piano together, and drink milkshakes. Things were simple and happy as far as he’s concerned, and while his childhood was not nearly as rosy as he remembers, it was certainly better than whatever he has to deal with now. Now his parents are gone for reasons he doesn’t quite understand, and his sister has drifted away from him and acts promiscuously. His body is starting to change, and it fills him with disgust. Worse still, he finds himself envying his sister for some reason. It all floods him with shame. He needs to fight those feeling with everything he has. Being very clever for his age, he finds himself the youngest member of the student council. He becomes involved with the dueling game as it is revealed to him, and goes along with it, not wanting to act out of place. He gets a crush on Anthy, and is unable to figure out what the hell he should do about it. Later, he meets Utena, and the two become fast friends. And how lucky, his new friend is roommates with his crush! She’s just so perfect. She’s kind, and quiet, and chaste, not at all like his sister. He feels a kinship with her. And in an act of cosmic fate- she plays for him his favorite childhood arrangement. It’s just as Touga says. He can’t let the world get to her, the way its getting to his sister. The way its getting to him. He needs to make sure that Anthy, and his memories, are safe. But alas- it seems she doesn’t feel the same way. She’d rather be with Utena. Hopefully, Utena can protect her where he cannot. Miki and Utena go back to being friends, and he nurses his hurt feelings privately. It wouldn't do to make a scene about it, and besides, it wasn’t appropriate for him to think of her like that anyway. Thinking about anyone like that. He can’t help but feel disgusted with himself for allowing it. Later, his relationship with his sister continues to deteriorate, and his father is remarrying. But he can stick by his principles, and stay out of it all, the dueling especially. Kozue, Touga, and Akio have other plans. He is confronted with Reality, and it terrifies him. He sees himself in the drivers seat, Anthy his. This is what he is now, no point in trying to hide from it. He challenges Utena again, taking an early advantage utilizing his new resolve and Utena’s confusion. But that resolves breaks quickly. What is Kozue doing with Anthy?

Pay attention, or you’ll lose.

Fig 6: Crash!!

Miki is disgusted with himself, his role, because he does not want it. He hates what’s happening to himself and his family. He admires Utena and Juri, for embodying his ideal self. He listens to Touga, puts up with his music teacher, even if they make him feel gross and uncomfortable, because he feels he has to and that he doesn’t have a choice. He idolizes Anthy, so much. He is attracted to her, but maybe there is something more. Maybe, Miki wishes he could be her. Miki, in my mind, is a closeted trans lesbian going through puberty as a boy. I think that part of this might be projection, perhaps. But I hope that I might have made my case using the text of the show. But even if you disagree, I hope that you might have a better appreciation for his character. I think he’s fairly consistently people’s least favorite council member as a character, but honestly he’s my favorite and I think there’s a lot more too him than a lot of people give him credit for.

Fig 7: Three Lesbians Hanging Out

… this all being said. I think it’s interesting that Miki thinks Anthy is the picture of femininity right? That this is what he wants.

In the end, all girls are like the rose bride.

Please wait patiently while I make the case, that while Miki is an egg. Anthy has long since hatched...

(And I do mean be patient! This subject, and the concept that Ohtori represents a transmisogynystic institution at its very core, is WAY more personal than this headcanon, and also is much more of a difficult thing to write for dozens of reasons. I'm still not 100% sure it would even be right of me to post my thoughts on that publicly. But if enough people are interested, maybe that would motivate me to write it!)

*What’s a good Miki essay without some sort of Stopwatch Theory tm? Well (and I freely admit much of this is probably projection, but it’s not just me projecting! It’s also my girlfriend!!), Miki seems to get very wrapped up in his own thoughts. He is very self conscious, takes the criticisms of others very seriously, and also seems to get ideas about How Things Are Going To Happen in his head. He desperately tries to make sense of his surroundings, and finds himself consistently failing to do that. So my guess is the stopwatch is a way for him to regulate and calibrate his thoughts and hypotheses and self image. He picked it up in his duty as council secretary, but its something he feels is significant outside of that. Aha moment? Click. Unexpected end to a council meeting? Click. Something go completely as expected? Click. It helps him process I think. That is my formal Stopwatch Hypothesis tm.

Supplement Fig 1: Stopwatch

[isalisewrites]

A Deep Dive into JKR's Terrible, Amateur Writing - Part Two

Welcome to my ballsy series where I will prove to you, dear reader, that J.K. Rowling, author of the Harry Potter series and resident Twitter TERF, is actually a very, very poor writer.

And when I say ‘poor writer,’ I’m talking about her prose, her sentence structure, and her scenes. I am not going to discuss anything about the HP world nor the overall plot of the books. 

This is all about the nitty gritty in the craft of writing itself.

Part One Link.

Disclaimer for all readers of this series: 

I’m going to sound very confident in my posts where I work under the assumption I’m a better writer than JKR; because I am. My apologies if this rubs you the wrong way. You’re simply witnessing the culmination of over two and half decades of experience with the intensity from a neurodivergent who is hyperfocused on her special interest. I didn’t just learn how to create stories; I learned the craft of writing to a minutia of details.

I’m not a perfect writer. No one is. I’m not a talented writer either. I’m experienced and skilled through years of study and practice.

I don’t care about J.K. Rowling. At all.

If you’re triggered by the concept and fact that JKR is a terrible crafter of writing, then you might want to take a step back and self reflect on that personal issue.

I still very much love and adore Harry Potter; you’re still allowed to love Harry Potter.

This is not a series to bitch or bash. This isn’t a shitpost. This isn’t an attack on JKR, no matter the disgusting bullshit she spews forth on Twitter. However, my hope is people awaken to the fact that JKR isn’t the goddess of writing we’ve all been led to believe.

This is a place of study and learning, where the purpose is to help students gain critical thinking skills and writing analysis tools to become better in their craft.

And, sorry, one more disclaimer for this specific post: 

Fanfiction is written for fun and is posted for free. I put most of my effort into my main fanfic, Terrible, But Great. (Yes, I intend to update Moon Rite soon, too) However, I also have two fanfics that are cowritten with another author; thus, the style of Shall I Stay and Badger Prey are understandably different. I spend three to four times the hours to edit a chapter versus drafting it. My process for fanfiction: I draft. I do one expansion edit. I do one proofread edit. I post.

However, if I were to publish a novel where people are expected to drop money on said book, my work flow would be vastly more extensive. To be clear, I’d do all of the following myself. I would not outsource. My process for published novels: I would draft. I would do three to four expansion edits. I would do two to three cutting edits. I would do three proofread edits. 

See the difference?

Because I don’t go through a cutting edit for my fanfiction, I’ll often come back later and see things I think are weak. I’m constantly seeing where I can tighten my work. There’s always room for improvement.

Remember: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix is a paperback book that costs $10. My fanfics are free. If I, someone who writes for free and puts what she considers the bare minimum of effort into them, have a higher standard in the quality of my writing than a paid traditionally published novelist, there’s a problem here. 

All right, with that nonsense out of the way, buckle up, my writing friends. Grab a snack. Hydrate. Remember to take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. Let’s begin.

Class is in session.

In this post, we’re going to discuss these five pages from HP5 and dissect one paragraph and a line from page 731. All dialogue is highlighted in blue.

(My favorite book in the series, btw. I fucking love fifth year the most. JKR did a damn good job with Umbridge.)

Since a certain anon lacked the skill to comprehend the difference between too much dialogue and stories driven by a high saturation of dialogue, let's go into further depth about dialogue.

What did I mean last week when I said: "Too much fucking dialogue!"

Today’s lesson will focus on the overall issue in JKR’s dialogue and in the prose surrounding those dialogue lines.

And since, apparently, I “lack the self awareness” to know most of my fics are “oversaturated with dialogue,” I’m going to use weaker examples of my own writing. Chapter 24 of TBG is heavily driven by dialogue with twenty-one named characters to juggle, something that's very difficult for me to manage. Though the chapter is lovely, I do feel it's some of my weaker work. In the end, I just didn’t have the energy to edit it a second time nor go through cutting edit.

Here are three different pages (some connected, some not) from Chapter 24 of Terrible, But Great. All dialogue is highlighted in blue.

You can already see the difference, I'm sure.

So, what’s the difference between a scene that has 'too much fucking dialogue' versus a scene that is highly saturated with dialogue?

Because there is one.

Let's set the scene for HP5. In the middle of an OWL exam, Harry received a vision from Voldemort, showing him that Sirius has been captured. He's being tortured to get something from a shelf, but Sirius refuses. Harry believes the vision is real. He tells Ron and Hermione, then asks for their advice on how to rescue Sirius. Ron and Hermione are both like, pardon, wtf, sir? (As they should be.)

We have five pages of this fight between them. These five pages are mostly dialogue with very little else surrounding it.

Also, note the final page where it has the worst sins of adverb usage. That page is what triggered me to begin writing this series in the first place, btw.

There's too much dialogue here. There's no description. I'm being told stuff, but I'm not being shown anything. There are no emotional anchors to Harry either. The more I reread this scene, the more I realized what was wrong.

There’s an emotional disconnect from Harry in the prose.

Do not misunderstand me: it is NOT to say that Harry isn’t emotional here. It's that the prose doesn’t grip me, the reader, by the chest and twist my heart with his overwhelming emotions. The prose doesn't prove anything, doesn't show me anything. This is an intense, terrifying moment for Harry. It should feel visceral. It should feel tangible. I should be able to taste his fear.

We also don’t get too much information about the emotional states of Ron and Hermione. We have hints, of course. But we can’t feel them. The emotions of the scene are dampened, muffled, dull even.

With an untrained eye, you might disagree. It's okay. You'll see what I mean soon.

Page 731 exact quote:

"I dunno how," said Harry. "But I know exactly where. There's a room in the Department of Mysteries full of shelves covered in these little glass balls, and they're at the end of row ninety-seven...He's trying to use Sirius to get whatever it is he wants from in there....He's torturing him....Says he'll end by killing him..." Harry found his voice shaking, as were his knees. He moved over to a desk and sat down on it, trying to master himself.

(Btw, punctuation issue: you do not use an ellipsis and a period together and there should be a space after the ellipsis.)

This is the only instance in the five pages where we get any information about Harry's physical state.

And it's written in such a weak 'telling' instead of 'showing' way, too.

How and where was his voice shaking? How are his knees shaking? Are they knocking together in a weird way that's kind of physically improbable? Or was it actually his legs were shaking? Isn't he leaning against the door? If his weight was resting against the door, then there'd be less shaking in his knees or legs because his knees would be locked to brace his body against the door. His arms and hands would be shaking, though.

How does Harry master himself? What does that look like? Slow breaths? Running a hand through his hair? Rubbing his face and eyes? How is Harry mastering himself? Is it mentally? Then, where are those mastering thoughts? What are they and why do those thoughts in particular help Harry 'master' himself?

What's Harry's tone as he talking about Voldemort threatening to kill Sirius? How is Harry feeling about this? Give me MORE!

The dialogue is presented to the reader in a bland, empty fashion. Harry is relating something to Ron and Hermione. I could switch the dialogue out with anything and it'd still make sense.

There is little surrounding the dialogue to anchor it.

So, let's rewrite this, shall we?

"I dunno how," said Harry, letting out a shaky breath. His hands clenched into fists against the door of the classroom. "But I know where—they're in a room in the Department of Mysteries that's filled with rows of shelves holding these... weird little glass balls. They're in row ninety-seven. Voldemort, he's—" Harry's voice broke. His breath caught in his throat. The memory of the vision returned full force into his mind, the image of Sirius on the floor at Voldemort's feet stark in his mind. He ducked his chin; his chest inhaled in a desperate breath and the edges of his eyes burned. He's torturing Sirius—I can't just wait around. I can't lose him. Harry looked up at Ron, whose face had grown pale, while Hermione stared at him with wide, terrified eyes. The strength in Harry's legs weakened. "He needs Sirius to get whatever it is he wants and he's—" Harry sucked in a gasp, his voice trembling like an autumn leaf in a thunderstorm. "—he's torturing Sirius... says he'll kill him in the end." His knees buckled. Harry stumbled to the nearest desk; Ron reached out with a steadying hand on Harry's upper arm and silent gratitude filled Harry's heart. With shaky arms, Harry lifted himself onto the desk to sit and twisted around to face Ron and Hermione. He licked his dry lips, rubbed his eyes with a hand, and took slow, deep breaths to master his fraying emotions.

The original canon text has 57 words of dialogue with a total of 83 words.

My rewritten version uses 56 words of dialogue with a total of 247 words.

I'm going to drill this concept into your heads, my lovely students: this is what I mean when I keep saying JKR's writing is both bloated and underwritten.

I only rewrote a single paragraph and its following line. The five pages I've provided are filled with this kind of empty dialogue.

So, what have I done here? Can you see the difference? Can you feel the difference?

Let's analyze what I focused on in this scene to show Harry's body language and his thoughts. I upped the physical effects on Harry's body. His fear causes his voice to break in the middle of explaining what's going on. He's terrified of losing Sirius, the only father figure he's ever known. Voldemort might take another parental figure from him. 

And now the prose reflects these feelings, not just in his thoughts, but also in how he speaks and reacts to what is around him. He is not just speaking at the reader.

Harry exists in his world. 

And you can feel it.

When he stumbles to the desk, Ron is there for him. Hermione reacting could also be added here. There is a lot that can be added to this scene, if one wanted to expand this further. 

Yes, what I've done has increased the word count, yet it strengthens this short moment—and I'd do this for the entire scene.

What I did to the scene is merely one version of its potential. It could be rewritten in a multitude of ways and go in various directions. I spent 10mins to 20mins on it. I haven't edited it or refined it.

Can you finally see what I mean now?

If you compare the highlighted pages of HP5 to the highlighted pages of Chp 24 of TBG, you can visually see the difference in the density of the dialogue. JKR is the one whose writing is oversaturated with dialogue. My writing will always be highly saturated with dialogue because my stories are character driven. I prefer stories like that. But I also need the dialogue to be interesting and engaging, where the character feels alive in their world.

When I say there's too much dialogue, this scene is such a good example of this because Harry, Ron, and Hermione are all over the place in their interactions with each other. Yes, you want your characters to sound realistic, but you're also the author curating an experience for the reader.

There's a balancing tightrope act between having realistic dialogue and unnecessary dialogue.

There's a thin line between showing too much and telling too little.

Lastly, if I were to improve the overall scene, I would center the focus on Harry's desperation to rescue Sirius. As Ron and Hermione try to talk him out of it, where Hermione delivers that iconic line of 'you have a people saving thing,' I'd have Harry explode with something like this:

"You don't know what's it like! You both have your parents—I-I don't... You'd feel the same as me if it were either of your parents being tortured by Voldemort, yeah? I can't lose him—I can't lose Sirius."

I'm not bothering with description around it right now. I just wanted to give the baseline dialogue to show you the theme I'd carry through this scene. It's all about Sirius. It's all about the fear of losing him. It's about showing the emotion of the character and making the reader feel that deeply.

And that's what matters the most.

All right then.

We have come to an end of Part Two in this series. We have discussed fives pages in JKR's Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. The pages in question are 731 - 735 should you wish to look it up and study the scene yourself.

And so, please do the world the greatest of favors and write better than J.K. Rowling. I promise, it's not that hard once you see the differences.

Until next time.

Isa

[lttl3babybug]

Gently squeezing your face, hello honey!! (If your not okay with nicknames let me know!!)

Could I ask forrrr hm, either caregiver Stolas or caregiver Asmodeus ( >w<) with a baby regressor? Preferably padded but no force!! I hope you have a lovely day my dearest ~

HIII, I absolutely adore nicknames :3 but of course! I just posted some cg Stolas so I can give you Cg!Ozzie!! (Apologies if this is nonsensical I wrote it at 6am with an hour and 40 minutes of sleep maximum)

Cg!Asmodeus & Baby!Regressor!Reader headcanons!

🩵Ozzie is just the sweetest, we’ve seem how gentle he is with fizz so we know he’s an absolutely amazing cg :(

🩵Ozzie is a big guy, like he’s huge. He’s gonna pick you up at every opportunity he can

🩵Due to his height he likes to remind you just how little you are

“Aw look at you…just a tiny baby aren’t you, hm? Nothing but an itty bitty baby. Look at how tiny you are compared to me!”

🩵Good Gods above he will spoil you to the ends of hell and back

🩵You have more paci’s than you can count, he just sees them and gets them for you because he loves surprising you

🩵Seeing how excited you get when when he says he has a surprise for you and his wide your eyes go.

🩵Now if you’re a nonverbal baby you needn’t Fret. Ozzie is a master at deciphering your babbles

🩵Making grabby hands at something you want or someone who’s attention you crave? He’s on it, giving you whatever you want (if it’s appropriate that is) and dragging over whatever one of his assistants has caught your fancy today

🩵Ozzie has a whole room dedicated to your safe space, it’s one of the only places he feels it’s okay to leave you unsupervised

🩵Being the sin of lust of course his place isn’t exactly…child appropriate. But this room is full of nothing but toys, stuffies, baby books, blankets, the whole shebang

🩵Course he loves playing with you too, big fan of playing the damsel in distress for you to rescue

🩵But he also loves reading to you and doing your baby puzzles with you!

🩵Watching your face light up with joy as you solve the jigsaw in front of you and signal for his attention by whiney or making general babble noises in his direction

🩵If you’re feeling bratty or generally stubborn he tends to talk through things before sending you to time out, making sure you’re calm and understand why you’re being put in that position.

🩵Now Ozzie with a padded regressor is a whole different thing

🩵This was something he discussed with you while big, he’d noticed you’d started slipping further than usual (course he wasn’t mad about that at all) and that lead to accidents and tears

🩵He made 1000% sure that you were comfortable with this happening, with him changing you, with him seeing you like that in such a vulnerable state

🩵And even after having you give him both verbal and written consent that it was okay he still asks you before he changes you. Just incase

“Are you okay with me taking this off you sweetheart? I don’t want you getting a rash down there baby…it’s okay if not. I’m sure you’re smart enough to change yourself”

🩵Placing you on the changing table and distracting you the whole time by holding a stuffie above you or asking you about your favourite book or game

🩵He makes sure you’re keeping clean down there at all times, checking you every 30 minutes- an hour

🩵You have the comfiest pull ups or dips you could ever imagine, so pretty too!

[sturnsmia]

𝑭𝑶𝑹𝑬𝑽𝑬𝑹 𝑴𝑰𝑵𝑬 | 𝑴𝑨𝑻𝑻 𝑺𝑻𝑼𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑶𝑳𝑶

𝒊𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉… when matt sees his best friend constantly suffering under her boyfriend’s mistreatment, he takes matters into his own hands.

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: toxic and slightly abusive boyfriend, murder (in detail), knives, blood, if u don’t feel comfortable do not read!!

𝒏𝒐𝒕𝒆: hi hi! i wanted to post something a little more spooky for halloween but i didn’t finish in time lol, sorry. i hope you guys like it! also send me requests for things to write or just to chat. i lovee responding to anons (˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶)

it was late at night when you were at the triplets house with your friend madison. you guys had spent the night watching movies and catching up with each other after enduring a long week of work. unfortunately you had a whole lot to talk about considering your boyfriend, noah was starting to piss you off.

“i don’t even know what his problem is! one second he’s saying im the love of his life and then two minutes later he’s screaming at me for spending i didn’t do!” you explained to your friends while flailing your hands around in awkward gestures to express your frustration. “and that’s not even the worst part! he had the fucking nerve to grab my wrist when i tried to walk away from him! and it wasn’t a gentle touch it was like this.” you reached to your right and grabbed matt’s wrist before gripping it harshly, causing him to pull away. you whispered a little sorry and shot him a quick smile.

“what the hell! that’s not okay, why the fuck would he do that?” chris questioned with a mouth full of popcorn.

“ugh i have no idea its so stupid the way he’s acting.” you groaned, leaning your head back on the couch.

matt clenched his jaw at the thought of your boyfriend laying his hands on you. he never liked noah from the start, not that noah enjoyed his presence either. noah constantly complained that matt had feelings for you and that it was obvious to everyone. whenever he brought it up you defended your best friend, explaining that you and matt have known each other since the two of you were kids, and you’ve always hung around the triplets. regardless of your constant reassurances, noah never attempted to make amends with matt.

“honestly y/n, that’s so fucked for him to do, and you need to stand up for yourself and set boundaries! don’t let him push you around.” madison spoke from the other side of the couch beside nick, who nodded in agreement to her statement.

you sighed, thinking about the possibilities that could happen if you talked back to noah. he definitely would not take it lightly.

“maybe you should just break up with him.” matt spoke with nonchalance. your head snapped to look at the boy who just spoke utter nonsense. “you’re funny matthew.”

“i mean this isn’t the first time he’s done something shitty to you. it’s clearly hurting you physically and mentally, so why not just let him go?” matt shrugged turning towards you.

“because i love him, matt. just because he does a couple things i don’t like doesn’t mean we have to break up.” you spoke with slight annoyance in your tone. nick, chris, and madison exchanged awkward glances, avoiding getting involved.

matt sighed, connecting your hands together and rubbing it softly with his thumb. “i know, i didn’t mean it like that, i’m sorry. we all just want you to be happy.” chris nodded his head before shoving another piece of popcorn in his mouth.

nick stretches his arms dramatically before yawning. “okay it’s pretty late, we should get to bed. y/n i know you’re staying the night, madison do you wanna stay too?”

“i would but i have to get up early for a meeting tomorrow so i have to head home now.” madison said while collecting her purse from the ground. “i’ll miss you.” you frowned, pulling her in for a hug.

“y/n we’ll see each other again in like two days.” madison laughed as she hugged you, rubbing your back softly. “bye boys, i’ll see you guys later! love you!” she smiled, walking down the stairs and out the front door.

as you heard the front door slam shut, you and nick stood up from the couch and started walking towards the stairs before matt gently pulled your wrist back. nick continued walking up the stairs as you stopped.

you turn around, staring at his icy blue eyes. “yeah?” you asked softly. matt brushed a piece of hair out of your face and tucked it behind your ear. “make sure that little idiot boyfriend of yours doesn’t touch you like that again or i’ll have to go pay him a visit, alright?”

you giggle softly at his statement considering he always jokes about putting noah in his place. “alright mr tough guy don’t go around hurting people now.” you murmured, pushing your finger to his chest. “goodnight matt” you said gently, a warm smile spreading across your face as he shooed you away to nick’s room.

“good night angel” matt replied back as you made your way up the stairs.

˖ . ݁𝜗𝜚. ݁₊

the next day you woke up around 11am and ate breakfast with the triplets before returning to your own apartment. you twisted the doorknob to your front door open and quickly dumped your purse lazily on the floor before flopping down face first onto the couch. you laid there until you heard a notification chime and looked up to see your phone.

it was a text from noah telling you he was coming over because you had abandoned him last night for matt. you roll your eyes at his snide remark before tapping your fingers on your phone to reply a quick “okay”.

you got up from the couch and walked over to the bathroom to clean yourself up a bit. you brushed out the small tangles in your hair and open the drawer to take out a tube of mascara and an eyelash curler. leaning over the counter towards the mirror, you brushed the mascara wand over your lashes. you swapped out the mascara for your space camp cherry flavored lip balm and swiped it across your lips. after putting everything back in the bathroom drawers you left the bathroom and went to your room searching for a comfortable outfit. you settled on navy blue sweatpants and a lacy white tank top.

as you finished changing you heard a loud knocks coming from the front door, alerting you that your boyfriend had arrived. you quickly walked to the front door and opened it to reveal noah looking slightly irritated when he saw you.

“hi baby!” you smile warmly at him and pull him in for a hug. noah wraps one arm around your shoulder and pats your back softly. you pull away after noticing he’s not acting normal. “is everything alright?”

“yeah i’m fine.” he responds dryly. your eyebrows furrow showing your confusion, noah notices and realizes your not satisfied with his answer. “you couldn’t have maybe put yourself together and looked a little nicer for me before i got here?”

the smile from your face drops immediately, turning into an fustrated and slightly embarrassed look. noah shut the door behind him and sat down at the table in your kitchen, waiting for you to move from the front door.

“are you being serious?” you murmured, keeping your eyes on the door and avoiding eye contact. “what?” noah’s face twisted in slight annoyance at your sudden attitude. “you’re telling me that you’re in this “mood” all of a sudden that causes you not to give your girlfriend a hug or kiss when you see her? all because i don’t look pretty enough?” you say sternly, attempting to hide the hurt in your heart.

noah quickly stood up from his seated position, the wooden chair he once sat on tumbling to the floor with a loud bang. your eyes finally turned to him and see his jaw clenched and his eyes burning with fury. “now i don’t know what those sturniolo boys got into your head, but i’m sure not liking this bitchy attitude you got goin’ on.” noah sneered, shaking his head in disapproval.

you scoff at him, he always found a way to blame this on them. “this has nothing to do with them. you can’t say some bullshit to me and expect me not to say something back!” your tone starting to raise. “woah there! don’t mess with the tough girl here, all high and mighty!” noah said sarcastically, raising his arms up for dramatics.

“you’re so fucking immature!” you yell at him with tears starting to well in your eyes. the look in his eyes immediately made you regret your sudden outburst, your heart sunk to your stomach. noah slowly walked towards you. “what the hell did you just say to me?”. you swallowed hard and fidgeted with your fingers, out of instinct you turned to the front door and grabbed the handle. before you could open it, noah put his hand on your shoulder and harshly turned you around, pushing your back to the door.

“i asked you a goddamn question!” he spat, his grip remained tight on your shoulder as he kept you pinned against the door. tears started to fall from your eyes as you clenched your jaw and kept a stern look. “get off me.” you muttered. noah kept his eyes on you, his rough hands gripped even tighter on your bare shoulder. you pushed him back, causing him to release his grip. before he could say anything you turned away from him and raced out the front door.

you ran to your car and slammed the door shut. at this point the emotions you had hiden came crashing down as you drove through the neighborhoods. wiping your tears and sniffling at every red light, you drove as fast as you possibly could to the only faces you wanted to see.

after parking your car, you walked quickly to the front door slightly shivering from the breeze considering you didn’t get to grab a sweater before you left. you knocked loudly on the door impatiently waiting for someone to answer.

chris opened the door with a bright smile on his face before seeing your teary and red eyes. “hey, what’s going on?” he asked softly. you couldn’t even respond before you latched onto him for a hug as broken sobs escaped your throat. “oh no. hey shhh it’s okay don’t cry, don’t cry.” chris held you tight and stroked your hair gently before matt and nick walked down the stairs to see what had taken their brother so long to answer the door.

“y/n, sweetheart let’s go upstairs to the living room okay?” nick whispered softly. you looked up from chris’s chest to see nick and matt with worried expressions plastered on their face. nick took your hand and interlocked them before leading you up the stairs and onto the couch. he sat down next to you as you rested your head in his lap. matt and chris followed behind the two of you and took a seat beside nick.

“tell me what happened y/n, did you get hurt? do i need to kill someone?” nick asked, rubbing your shoulder. “it-it was noah” you choked out with a sniffle. “he came to see me and, he got upset with me because he said i didn’t look nice enough for him when he came over.” matt’s anger started to bubble up just hearing noah’s name. “i yelled back at him and told him he was being immature. and when i tried to leave but he grabbed my shoulder and pushed me against the door. i had to push him back before he finally let go.” you rambled, tears falling from your eyes.

matt’s jaw hardened after hearing what noah had done to you. he gave chris a hard stare before they both stood up and walked down the stairs without saying a word. “wha-where are they going?” you asked, sitting up and turning to nick. “don’t worry about it, let’s get you cozy and do something to get your mind off that brainless boyfriend of yours.” nick suggested with a smile, wrapping a fuzzy blanket around your shivering bare shoulders.

˖ . ݁𝜗𝜚. ݁₊

matt’s gripped the steering wheel of his car so hard his knuckles were almost white. he couldn’t believe that your idiotic boyfriend would ever think it’s okay to lay his hands on a women, especially you. you always found a way to forgive noah for his mistakes because of your kind heart. the thoughts coursing through his mind made the drive to noah’s house a fast ride. he already knew the directions from previous occasions when you had asked matt to drop you off there.

“you don’t need me to come in do you?” chris asked as matt jumped out of the driver seat. he grabbed a small object out of the side door and looked up at his brother. “no, i’ll be fast.” matt responded slamming the door shut and walking up to your front door. he twisted the door knob and pushed it open using his shoulder. noah looked up from his phone and stood up from his spot on the couch, looking at matt.

“dude what the fuck?” noah sneered, looking confused at the loud noise coming from the front door. until he recognized the face that was staring back at him. “matthew sturniolo, what brings you here today?” his face twisted into a cocky smile.

“do you find pride in hurting your girlfriend?” matt said through gritted teeth. noah laughed from across the room “what’d she tell you now, that i’m abusing her? god she’s so full of lies.” matt slammed the front door shut before taking slow steps towards noah.

“i won’t ever understand how she fell in love with such a lowlife like you.” matt scolded, keeping intense eye contact with the boy in front of him.

“what? you jealous i get to fuck her instead of you? get over yourself, she’s mine.” noah teased, a grin present on his face. matt scoffed and reached into his pocket, he was sick and tired of the way your boyfriend treated you like an object and constantly put you through so much pain.

“i never liked you from the start. i always knew you would be a shitty boyfriend. but y/n always finds a way to see the good in people, even the most insufferable people like you. and i won’t let you take advantage of that.” matt fumed, pulling his hand out from his denim pocket. noah’s eyes widened at the pocket knife in matt’s hand. he stepped back but was met with a wall behind him, he had nowhere to run.

“woah man let’s just talk this out i can-“ matt didn’t let him finish talking before piercing his stomach with his knife. noah let out weak groans before matt retracted his hand, releasing the blade from his lower abdomen. in a swift motion matt struck him again and again, watching the knife go through his chest. over and over and over again.

noah’s body quickly fell limp underneath him. matt crouched down, using the carpet to wipe the blood off his pocket knife before clicking it shut and placing it back into his pocket. matt stood back up looking down at the lifeless body beneath him, a smirk creeping on his face.

“she’s always been mine.”

xoxo, mia ♡

[envyenvys]

svsss | one-shot | T | 2.4k | ao3

This is. unreasonably long for what it is. I wrote this whole thing in a day bc I couldn’t stop thinking abt it and it’s so stupid but I hope it’s also as funny as I think it is??? So here, have some post-canon bingqiu nonsense from an outsider pov

What’s His Fucking Deal

#cucumber-spotting

dick jokes

[screenshot of a text from Peerless Cucumber that reads “Do you still take commissions?”]

passionate ranting

no fucking way

he’s still alive???

binghe obsession

of course this is how we find out

homoerotic undertones

maybe he really was dead and he just rose from the grave to commission art of lbh one last time

in a totally hetero way ofc

binghe obsession

ofc

passionate ranting

after a year?

homoerotic undertones

anything’s possible

binghe obsession

@ dick jokes what did he want anyway

?

homoerotic undertones

@ dick jokes

dick jokes

gimme a minute he’s still explaining

homoerotic undertones

still???

passionate ranting

ooo point for me

homoerotic undertones

no it’s not, that’s just how he talks

it needs to be pidw comment level ranting or it doesn’t count

binghe obsession

probably still a point for me though

homoerotic undertones

shut the fuck up

basically everything he says counts as a point for you

some of us actually need to put effort into our point collecting

binghe obsession

skill issue

your fault for picking one of the harder ones

dick jokes

how do you think I feel

binghe obsession

yeah you really fucked that one up

he’s only ever made like one dick joke

passionate ranting

famously

binghe obsession

famously

dick jokes

what the actual fuck

THERES NO WAY

he’s serious?????????

homoerotic undertones

context??

binghe obsession

what did he do now

dick jokes

he wants me to

how the fuck do I phrase this so it makes sense

he wants me to go to his stupidly expensive apartment to paint a portrait of him and his husband(???????) in sqq x lbh cosplay

📌 [passionate ranting pinned a message to this channel. See all pinned messages.]

homoerotic undertones

how gullible do you think we are

dick jokes

IM NOT FUCKING JOKING

[screenshot of a text from Peerless Cucumber that reads “Would it be possible for you to paint at least part of it in person? My husband would prefer the authenticity of a live portrait, though it can still be digital.”]

[screenshot of a text from Peerless Cucumber that reads “My apartment would be best, our cosplay will likely attract too much attention anywhere else.”]

passionate ranting

WHAT

HUSBAND??????????????????

homoerotic undertones

oh my fucking god

binghe obsession

did he marry a lbh cosplayer

please say yes

passionate ranting

SHEN QINGQIU??????????

what the fuck HAPPENED to him while he was gone????

homoerotic undertones

maybe he got fucking

binghe obsession

lmfao he wishes

homoerotic undertones

transmigrated

let me finish??

passionate ranting

I mean……

he did get married, so

it’s likely

binghe obsession

can we go back to the part where under suggested he got fucking transmigrated

homoerotic undertones

think about it

binghe obsession

oh don’t worry I’m definitely thinking about it

passionate ranting

wait no I kinda get it

PC is kind of perfect for a transmigration romance tbh

homoerotic undertones

he’d be so good at it

passionate ranting

like imagine he ended up in pidw, he probably knows that world better than the author at this point

classic op otome isekai protag

homoerotic undertones

exactlyyyy

binghe obsession

what if we had a normal conversation for once

passionate ranting

in the peerless cucumber discord server?

binghe obsession

yeah okay point taken

then can either of you two geniuses explain the lbh x sqq shipping

homoerotic undertones

see that’s where the transmigration theory comes in

otome isekai never has the protag end up with their character’s canon love interest, but in pidw that cuts out like every woman

binghe obsession

wait hold on

homoerotic undertones

which is fine bc we’re 99% sure he isn’t into women anyway, but I digress

binghe obsession

you think he got transmigrated into fucking LUO BINGHE????

passionate ranting

wait they’re onto something here

let them cook

homoerotic undertones

what’s more of an otome isekai plotline than the protag falling in love with a character they used to hate after actually getting to know them?

PC would be basically immune to all the bullshit sqq pulls in the early chapters, and with his encyclopedic knowledge of pidw he’d notice pretty quick if there was anything different about sqq

like the brothel theory and how he treats nyy

plus with the way he writes comments he’d be able to keep up with sqq’s snark pretty easily

passionate ranting

wait why is this kinda…… 😳

binghe obsession

we are NOT shipping peerless cucumber x shen qingqiu

dick jokes

what the fuck happened while I was gone

passionate ranting

don’t worry about it

what did he say?

dick jokes

well the good news is he’s paying enough to cover my rent for the next six months

homoerotic undertones

you’re fucking joking

dick jokes

the bad news is they want me to start tomorrow

binghe obsession

LMFAOOO GOOD FUCKING LUCK

What’s His Fucking Deal

#general

homoerotic undertones

@ dick jokes you have to tell us everything, we need to know if the transmigration theory is real

passionate ranting

it’s real to me

and honestly kind of compelling ngl

[passionate ranting created a poll.]

would you read the peerless cucumber transmigration romance?

☐ yes I need to know how his brain works [25%]

☐ fuck no he’d be insufferable [75%]

4 votes • 23h left

dick jokes

what happened to hello? how are you? good morning?

homoerotic undertones

good morning, how’s the commission going

dick jokes

bad

homoerotic undertones

didn’t you only get there like 10 minutes ago

dick jokes

yeah

┌ passionate ranting would you read the peerless cu…

passionate ranting

why are you all voting no

wait what’s happening with dj?

dick jokes

well first of all you’re both wrong, he didn’t transmigrate into lbh

passionate ranting

damn

dick jokes

second of all if I stop replying call the police immediately because the lbh cosplayer murdered me for looking at PC too long

it’s not like I’m a fucking artist who needs references or anything

passionate ranting

HES SQQ????

homoerotic undertones

villainess isekai……

passionate ranting

I can’t believe they sank scumcum in less than 24h

wait hold on

binghe obsession

where the fuck are you coming up with these names

also good morning

[passionate ranting created a poll.]

best PC ship

☐ peerless cucumber x shen qingqiu [100%]

☐ peerless cucumber x luo binghe [0%]

1 vote • 23h left

binghe obsession

there’s something wrong with you clinically

dick jokes

guys idk if I’m gonna survive this

homoerotic undertones

is the lbh cosplayer actually threatening you? bc I’m 100% willing to call the police right now

or book a didi to pick you up

actually what’s his address I’m coming to get you

dick jokes

fucking chill

(but ty I appreciate it <3)

I was talking abt the mountains of dog food they’re shovelling down my throat rn

binghe obsession

lmfaooo

dick jokes

I don’t think the lbh cosplayer has stopped touching PC since I got here

they’re like

nauseating

homoerotic undertones

honestly still a pretty good reason to just leave

I have the didi app open just say the word

dick jokes

six months of rent

homoerotic undertones

right

binghe obsession

I can’t decide if this is ooc behaviour for lbh or not

passionate ranting

the exhibitionism is accurate at least

dick jokes

ugh don’t say that

homoerotic undertones

bingge isn’t clingy though

passionate ranting

hm good point

binghe obsession

I’m just thinking, if the transmigration theory was true and PC became sqq, it would affect lbh’s behaviour

passionate ranting

omg we converted you

homoerotic undertones

oh that’s true, PC’s obsessed with lbh and he hates sqq… if he turned into sqq he wouldn’t be able to keep the plot on track to save his life

binghe obsession

actually nvm I don’t want to think about this anymore

homoerotic undertones

noooo come on, think of it as a character study!!

passionate ranting

yeah!! even bingge was obsessed with sqq for years, there’s no way a lbh with PC for a shizun could be normal about him

binghe obsession

ugh fine

passionate ranting

!!!

binghe obsession

well to start, it would depend entirely on what part of the novel PC transmigrated into, how much freedom he has to fuck around, and how hard he’s trying to act like original!sqq

canon lbh is an obsessive, horny perfectionist incapable of self reflection in any meaningful way bc he can’t accept that his life sucks and he’s miserable. He has mommy issues, daddy issues, abandonment issues, probably an inferiority complex and a superiority complex at the same time, and who knows what else. Basically anything airplane thought would be depressing enough to introduce in the first arc but then never resolved later on

homoerotic undertones

OK Peerless Cucumber

binghe obsession

YOU ASKED????

passionate ranting

under shut up I wanna hear the rest of the analysis 😭

binghe obsession

what I was GOING to say is that if the shizun lbh was always trying to get the approval of just turned around one day and started doting on him the way we KNOW pc would, he’d direct all his issues toward pc and then it’d probably dissolve into some endless feedback loop of obsessive behaviour

so yeah, the clinginess makes sense

passionate ranting

ohh you’re so right

hopefully a bingge with pc!sqq would have a happier ending…

this sucks, now I wish the transmigration theory was real :(

homoerotic undertones

probably better that it isn’t, since, yk, PC would have to die first

passionate ranting

only a little bit

dick jokes

thank fucking god I thought I’d be trapped in there with them forever

homoerotic undertones

are you already done??

dick jokes

lmfao god no

lunch break, I’m hiding on the balcony

there’s SO MUCH shit I need to tell you guys, you don’t even know

binghe obsession

they actually gave you a lunch break?

dick jokes

tbh actually I think the only reason I get a break is bc lbh wanted the time alone to feed pc

these two are literally insane

I’m eating off a takeout plate bc they don’t have enough dishes. they didn’t even offer me anything to drink bc there’s only one cup in the entire apartment and they share it

homoerotic undertones

what the fuck

dick jokes

RIGHT?

binghe obsession

thought you’d be full from all that dog food lmfao

dick jokes

ugh don’t remind me you’re gonna make me lose my appetite

which is saying something bc this is literally unironically the best food I’ve ever tasted in my life

lbh made it and I thought he was genuinely gonna kill me when pc told him to give me some

like I’m sorry bro you’re the one who hired me?? take it up with your wife

passionate ranting

what’s his problem 😭

you don’t need to method act for cosplay

dick jokes

I don’t think he’s acting though?? like this is 100% home grown issues

he calls pc ‘shizun’ unironically and refers to himself as his disciple

homoerotic undertones

wtf

dick jokes

AND they’ve been wearing the most beautiful, intricate, clearly handmade xianxia style hanfu I’ve ever seen the entire time, didn’t even take it off to eat which is CRAZY to me

like what if you dropped soy sauce on it and it stained??? I’d kms

passionate ranting

oh they weren’t kidding abt the cosplay attracting attention then huh

dick jokes

THEY WERE NOT KIDDING, NO

homoerotic undertones

we’ve got to get you outta there

dick jokes

six months of rent

homoerotic undertones

right

well. good luck I guess

at least the food’s good

dick jokes

at least the food’s good

What’s His Fucking Deal

#general

dick jokes

hey guys?

this is gonna sound insane but

I think this might be the real luo binghe

homoerotic undertones

what

dick jokes

I think we were right about the transmigration thing

I think peerless cucumber really did die and transmigrate last year, and he brought the real lbh back with him

it’s just… something about the way they’re talking? PC keeps having to explain things to lbh but it’s only the sort of stuff you wouldn’t know about if you, say, lived in a fictional xianxia world without modern technology

also I saw his huadian glowing, like LED bright glowing

you can’t do that with practical effects

passionate ranting

are you doing okay, dj?

binghe obsession

blink twice if you need help

dick jokes

I’m serious!!! there’s something really weird about them!!!

passionate ranting

that doesn’t mean they’re transmigrators??? they’re probably just hardcore larping or something

dick jokes

see that’s what I thought at first too, but then

HOLY FUCK

homoerotic undertones

???

dick jokes

[10 seconds of shaky footage of an icy portal opening in the centre of an upper-class apartment living room. A man in xianxia style hanfu stumbles out of it, followed by a much taller man with long, dark hair, and skin tinged faintly blue.]

passionate ranting

MOBEI JUN???????????

binghe obsession

is that fucking shang qinghua

homoerotic undertones

WHAT

passionate ranting

MOBEI JUN???? FROM PIDW?????

what the fuck. what the Fuck

homoerotic undertones

what the FUCK

this is so

passionate ranting

oh my god. you weren’t kidding. that’s the real luo binghe

oh FUCK peerless cucumber died last year and no one even knew

AND HE GOT TRANSMIGRATED?????????

homoerotic undertones

THEYRE REAL???????????????

wait why are they in OUR world?????

binghe obsession

I think I need to lie down for a minute

passionate ranting

why is shang qinghua there???? isn’t he supposed to be dead??????

dick jokes

PC just called him airplane

passionate ranting

AIRPLANE SHOOTING TOWARDS THE SKY????????????????????????????

homoerotic undertones

imagine getting transmigrated into your own novel and your biggest hater is there too and he’s fucking your protagonist

villainess isekai protag peerless cucumber is real and I don’t know how to feel about this

binghe obsession

I just know this is your fault somehow

all three of you

dick jokes

ME???

WHAT DID I DO??

homoerotic undertones

wait oh fuck this means airplane died too and no one noticed

how did it happen twice???????

dick jokes

……….. shang qinghua and mobei jun want me to paint a portrait of them too

passionate ranting

omg….. moshang is real……..

homoerotic undertones

DJ GO HOME??

JUST LEAVE

dick jokes

they’re doubling my pay

one year of rent is worth so much more than my sanity

binghe obsession

I just remembered when like two years ago PC said something stupid on weibo

and it was one of his “lbh deserves better than this shitty novel” rants so I commented something like “luo binghe isn’t gonna fuck you, dude”

he was so pissed at me

but like

homoerotic undertones

LMFAO

binghe obsession

he really did it. luo binghe really fucked him

[hamiltonaf]

Daddy’s Princess | Kylian Mbappé

Pairing: Dad!Kylian Mbappé x Mom!Female Reader

Requested: Yes

Word Count: 2.5K

Warnings: Angst if you squint but mainly fluff

A/N: Hi my loves. Apologies I’ve been away for so long, I had so much going on but now I’m back. This has been in my drafts for so long, I think it came to a point where I was writing this half asleep. Not proofread, hope you babes enjoy.

Also, you’re more than welcome to send requests .xx

1 year. A year filled with ups and down, but ups for the most of it ever since giving birth to my bundle of joy, Sofia. I couldn’t believe how quickly a whole year has flew by and she’s already one.

The downside of this one year was the harsh break up between Kylian and I just a few weeks after Sophia was born. Post-partum depression was already bad, the break up just made it all worse. Everything was perfectly fine, or so I thought, Kylian was so excited for us to finally be parents and so was I. Little did I know that he wasn’t ready for the odd hours of waking up for feeding or hearing cry’s then having to wake up in a couple of hours for training, plus balancing our relationship, it was apparently all too much for him to handle so he felt the need to sacrifice our relationship to make it easier for him to focus on his career.

He was so used to being an uncle that he didn’t realise that parenting was a whole other ball game. I was willing to reason with him and do all night duties so he can sleep in but unfortunately that wasn’t good enough. Co-parenting isn’t easy.

It really sucks to co-parent because even though Kylian and I have broken up, I still have to see him every weekend when he comes over to spend time with her or he picks her up to take her out for the day. We’re civil, basically acting as if we’re friends, but who are we kidding ? Ever since Sofia was 4 months I’ve noticed Kylian being particularly nice to me, passing compliments, asking me to tag along with him when it’s his turn to spend the day with Sofia, interacting with my socials a lot more…something is cooking.

Unfortunately my pettiness is here to stay, so whenever he’s being ‘overly’ nice, I just brush it off like it’s nothing. It just bothers me that he didn’t try hard enough and think about what I was going through. It was hard when I eventually had to go to work, I was so attached to Sofia that I didn’t want to leave her but I didn’t have much of a choice. The last thing I need to hear whilst I’m depressed is that I wanted to have Kylian’s baby just to get money. Absolute nonsense.

The interesting thing is that even though Kylian isn’t with us everyday of the week 24/7, once Sofia is with her dad she doesn’t want to leave him. She’s so attached to him, funnily enough that she doesn’t even bother crying for me when I’m around.

So since she’s daddy’s little princess, Kylian insisted that we had to have a big first birthday party for her at his place. I went along with it and we both settled on a Disney princess theme.

Kylian had outdone himself, the party was as big and fancy as one would throw when they turn 16. I invited a few people from my side, majority family and a few friends.

Sophia was looking absolutely adorable in a pink puffy dress with a gold crown to top it off. I held Sophia on my hip as I greeted the guests, it’s as if Sophia has a sixth sense that she spotted Kylian approaching us from behind. She immediately started jumping and squealing, eagerly waiting for her dad to carry her. “Is that Princess Sophia ?” He said in shock. I smiled at their interaction as she nodded her head and got shy.

“Come here princess” he held his arms out for her which she happily jumped into his embrace. “My baby looks so cute. Who picked out your dress ?” He pecked her cheek. “Mama” she said as she pointed at me. My heart melted. “Who dresses you better princess ?” I wiggled my brows at her. “Mama” she admitted shyly. “You made daddy sad” he pouted as he faked a cry. Sophia falling for it, she cupped his face and kissed his nose. Catching us both off guard, Kylian and I burst out laughing. “Bubs you’re too cute” I said as I cupped her cheeks with one hand and kissed her cheek. “Doesn’t mama look so beautiful” he said as he looked at Sophia. I suddenly froze. Was not expecting that.

“That’s because mama is a princess” she smiled. “Awww my little pumpkin pie, give mama a kiss” I leaned in and pouted at her, which she gave me a kiss. “Does dad get a kiss from mama too ?” He playfully asked. I gave him a side-eye. Just then our interaction was disrupted when someone hugged be from behind, catching me by surprise. “Darling” a familiar voice said. I turned around and was met by my work friend, Nate. “Oh my god ! Nate ! I’m so glad you could make it” I said as I pulled him in for a hug. Nate is a good friend of mine from work. I believe the crucial thing to mention here is that Nate has a girlfriend, whom which I’m very good friends with as well, unfortunately she couldn’t make it since she was away on a work trip… life of a model.

Kylian hasn’t met him or heard of him up until now. “Nate, I’d like you to meet Kylian, Sophia’s dad and my little princess, Sophia !” I introduced them. “Pleasure to meet you” they shook hands but Kylian didn’t look too pleased. “And look at this girl, beautiful like her mum” he cooed at Sophia. “So I’ve been told” I said proudly. Sophia got shy and cuddled up closer to Kylian. “Anyway let me not take up too much of your time. I’ll meet with the others in the mean time” Nate said with a soft smile and excused himself. It was so obvious that the energy changed in the air, well for me at least.

“I can’t believe you did that” Kylian said. “Excuse me ? Did what ?” I raised a brow in confusion. “Do you really think this is the time and place to bring a lover of yours ? That too to introduce our daughter to ?” He lowered his voice just so I could hear him. “What the…are you okay ? If you don’t know what’s going on, then don’t give me your 2 cents !” I said back. “I know exactly what’s going on. I’m not stupid. Keep him away from Sophia.”

“I- you know what… believe what you want” I rolled my eyes at him. “Let’s go bub” I said as I held my arms out for her. She happily obliged to jump into my arms as we walked away. I can’t believe he got so jealous.

I ended up getting caught up in a conversation with my mum and Fayza, mainly because I had their granddaughter in my arms. I was baffled mid conversation when the topic of discussion was about having another child. Did Kylian not tell them about our break up or are they assuming we’re back together. I didn’t even bother arguing with them to avoid any further drama.

Kylian took me by surprise when he took the initiative to be the MC. Everyone had dropped their conversations to go get seated, while I had to go stand beside Kylian since I had Sophia with me. “Hello everyone and welcome to my baby’s first birthday !” Kylian announced as everyone erupted into cheers, Sophia had joined everyone as she clapped along, making us giggle and look at her in awe.

“This party would not have been possible without you all so thank you to every one of you for coming” he paused as everyone started clapping. He then glanced at me for a brief second before placing a hand on my back and pulling me to stand closer to him. “This party would also not be possible without my (Y/N), who has given me the greatest blessing of being a father. I will forever be thankful for all that you did and continue to do. Thank you for also shaping me into being a better version of myself. Lastly, thank you for helping me out and telling me what Sophia needs when she’s crying” everyone had burst into laughter at his last line.

“So a round of applause for (Y/N) !” He yelled as everyone followed by cheering. He then turned to look at me as he pulled me in for a hug. My heart had completed melted at his speech. More especially when he referred to me as my (Y/N). He released from our hug and kissed my cheek. It’s as if we forgot that we had Sophia in between us, it was only until she said “I love you mama” and kissed my other cheek that I snapped back into reality. “I love you more bubba” I smiled and kissed her cheek.

We then sang for her and cut her cake before everyone was free to mingle and eat. Sophia was actually starting to get crabby I guess with all the attention she was itching to play with the other kids so I accompanied her on the jumping castle. Low-key reliving my childhood through Sophia.

Nate then caught me by surprise when he joined us on the jumping castle, we were laughing more than talking. I guess our laugh was that loud that it caught Kylian’s attention. “Dada jump !” Sophia squealed as soon as she saw Kylian make his way towards us.

She quickly lost interest in jumping in these few minutes that she sprinted into her dads arms. “Tired bubs ?” He asked her softly as she cradled her face into his neck. She shook her head. “Do you want your bottle ?” He asked. She nodded her head. He then gave me a glance as a sign of help. I quickly said goodbye to Nate to help Kylian out.

“Wanna come by mama ?” I cooed. She shook her head as if I was a stranger. I gasped in shock. “You just broke mama’s heart” I faked a cry. Sophia actually started giggling. As we were walking into the house, both our mums spotted us walking together. “Aww where are you taking our baby ?” Fayza cooed. “She’s hungry, (Y/N/N) and I will take care of her” Kylian said. Both of our mums shared a look before moving out of our way.

Once we were inside, it was total peace and silence. Just the three of us, with of course the party happening being a soft background noise. Kylian sat her on the kitchen counter top and was about to make her bottle but I stopped him. “Watch her..I’ll do it” I said with a soft smile. He then kept her occupied by making small talk with her and played a game.

It didn’t take me long to make her bottle. After testing to see if the temperature was fine, I shook the bottle in front of her to see her reaction. “Who do you want to feed you ?” I playfully asked. “Mama !” She squealed. “Now you’re leaving dada for mama ?” Kylian acted offended and faked a cry. In the cutest way possible, she covered her eyes with her tiny hands and the cutest smile on her face. I cradled her in my arms and walked over to the couch to sit down. She held her own bottle and got distracted when Kylian started making faces at her. “Oii stop it” I joked. He then sat down beside me. “Is it a good time to talk now ?” He asked curiously. “Depends on what the topic is” I said as I glanced over.

“It’s about us” he hesitantly answered. I remained silent for a while before speaking up, “Not the perfect timing but I can’t run away from this so you might as well just be frank” I shrugged. “I feel terrible ever since I left you and Soph. It was wrong of me to let you take care of her on your own when you needed me the most. Spending time with the both of you in these last few months have shown what I was missing out on this whole time. I want to be with you every step of the way to take care and watch our little princess grow” he said. I was left speechless. “I know it’s a lot right now, but I obviously wouldn’t have dropped this on you if our feelings weren’t mutual” he smiled softly. “How do you know our feelings are mutual ?” I raised a brow.

“I notice the little things, when you get flustered after I compliment you. Especially earlier when I asked for a kiss until that idiot ruined our moment” he said annoyed. “Wait wait… is this about Nate ?” I furrowed my brows. “No !” He scoffed. “Oh my god. It is ! You’re jealous of him aren’t you ?” I started giggling. “What ? Me.. jealous ? No” he laughed. “Ky, I just know when you’re lying” I shook my head trying to fight back a smile. Sophia finished her bottle and handed it over to me. I then held her upright against my chest to rub her back. “Okay fine. I was triggered to do this sooner. I’ll forever hate myself if I didn’t try to make things right with you. I don’t want to lose my girls. I’ve always loved you and never stopped loving you”

I was taken aback by everything he said. “Why didn’t you come back then ?” I asked. “Because I figured you wouldn’t want me back so soon after I what I did. You didn’t deserve that and I thought I didn’t deserve you, but I couldn’t let you go.. after all I’m still in love with you. So I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me and allow me to have a second chance” he said hopeful. I sighed. “You’re making this harder because I literally see Sophia’s face when you look like that” he broke into a smile. Speaking of Sophia, she fell off to sleep. Sleeping beauty. “You’re lucky you’re her dad” I smiled.

“So you forgive me ?” He broke into a smile. I nodded my head. He was about to make noise until I shushed him and pointed at Sophia. “Oh sorry” he said in a hushed tone. He then pecked Sophia’s forehead then looked at me. “What ?” I asked confused. “You didn��t answer my question from earlier” he grinned. “Which was ?” I raised a brow. “Can daddy get a kiss too ?” He wiggled his brows. “I’m feeling petty so not right now” I grinned. “Ahh chérie just one” he pouted. “Later Kyky” I said as I stood up. He then took Sophia from my arms and carried her. “I think I’ve been tortured enough by how you look every time I see you” he pouted. “Nice try” I then surprised him by pecking his lips. “That was too short” he pouted.

[whowantslovergirl]

Why are you here?

Nate Jacobs x reader (reader is female with she/her pronouns)

warnings: a lil bit of smut, suggestive lyrics ig, there is so much song fics i deeply apologize, cursing, this is before Maddy but they’re in junior year already, so like beginning of junior year, Y/N HAVING THE MOST SELF RESPECT, Nate Jacobs, mgk song 🤠,italics are flashbacks,^ this means start the song 💋 hope you enjoy my lovers 🤍

euphoria masterlist

Summary: Nate and Y/N are so bad for each other

posted: February 12,2024

Nate and Y/N broke up two months ago and Nate still thinks they’re together. She can never move on. He definitely cannot move on. They are terrible for each other and they know that but they still find each other. ^

I hate that I saw you again last night

You were with somebody and so was I

Met you in the bathroom at 12:05

And I fucked you again

We can never be friends, yeah, yeah, yeah

You were at some random party. Maddy forced you to come. You were having fun until you saw him, your ex, on some other girl grinding on her. You can’t be mad. You had a date but still why is he with another girl.

_____

It was 12:05 you guys were both in the bathroom.

Fucking.

You can’t believe you did this.

“I can’t believe I did this! Get out of me Nate!” He finished and you were freaking out. You put your hands on your face freaking out. The main reason you were mad is because this is not the first time this happened.

“Calm down Y/N it’s not that serious.”

“To you! I promised myself that this bathroom thing will not happen again!” You rushed out of the bathroom leaving him.

I'm not myself

I'm not myself when you're around, no

Can't be helped

We are insane, that's just the way it goes

Nate and Y/N are back together for the tenth? time and it’s good for now.

Until you saw him with Maddy.

_____

“Maddy, Nate? Are you serious?”

“It’s not that serious Y/N.”

“You always say that! But if it was my ex you would be throwing a bitch fit!”

and he did.

**Flashback**

“Why the fuck were you talking to him!” Nate was screaming because you talking to your ex.

He accidentally bumped into you and said sorry and you said it’s fine.

That was the whole conversation.

“I’m sorry is two words talking now?! All I said was it’s fine!”

“Bullshit!”

You rolled your eyes. “Unbelievable Un fucking believable!”

**End of Flashback**

I'm a demon in the night

She's an angel with the white

Told me keep on all the lights

I'ma show you what you like

Two months later. Everyone is at a party.

And Nate is trying to get back together again.

“Come on you know we’re perfect for each other!”

“No we’re really not Nate. Please leave me alone. I have pepper spray and a pocket knife in my bag.” Then you walked away trying to leave.

Help you put back on your clothes

Make sure nothing's on your nose

Ain't even tell my closest homies, nobody knows

“We’re really not right?” Nate said smirking. The bathroom shit happened again.

“Shut the fuck up Nate.” You said rolling your eyes. He can see you struggling with your dress and helps you.

“Oh I bet you’re gonna brag about this huh? ‘Oh yea I fucked her again!’ right?”

“I actually never told anyone about this.” You just roll your eyes and left. That is such bullshit.

I hate that I saw you again last night

You were with somebody and so was I

Met you in the bathroom at 12:05

And I fucked you again

“Fuck!” You said finishing. He groaned and slipped out of you. “We really need to stop this nonsense Nate.”

“Why Y/n? Nothing is going wrong.”

“To you Nate! I promised myself I wouldn’t do this shit with you again!” He tried to speak but you just left. He smirked and left slightly after.

We can never be friends, yeah, yeah, yeah

“We can never be friends. We are way past that point.” You said while in Nate’s room. He asked if you guys can talk and you said yes.

“Yea friends don’t do what we do.” He said laughing.

“This isn’t funny Nate! We’re done. I’m done.” You said trying to walk out but he grabbed your arm. “If you’re done why was I inside you last night?”

“Ugh you’re an asshole!”

“I know. So I’ll see you in the bathroom Y/n.” You didn’t say anything and left like always.

I couldn't cry

I need to smoke, I'm feeling sick inside

From seeing you next to a friend of mine

We didn't speak but I read your mind

Both telling lies, our alibis didn't work this time

It’s been six months since you guys last fucked in the bathroom. And you’ve been taking care of yourself not worrying about Nate. You’re with McKay just talking, not anything special just catching up as two friends.

Nate saw this and just walked out, mad that you’re not talking to him or laughing with him. He’s so fucking angry.

I'm a demon in the night

She's an angel with the white

Told her keep on all the lights

You can show me what you like

“Hey angel.” You jumped because you didn’t know he was in there, in your room. “Nate get out.”

“You know you don’t want me to do that. I just wanna see you.”

“Well I don’t want to see you so get out.” He starts getting closer and the back of your knees hit the bed causing you to fall on the bed. He slowly comes on top of you and starts kissing, biting, and licking your neck.

“Nate stop.” You said pushing him away.

“You don’t really want me to stop do you?” You just stay silent and he takes off your shirt then his own.

“Ima show you what you like baby.”

Help me put back on my clothes

Make sure nothing's on my nose

Can't even tell my closest homies, nobody knows

Nate and Y/n are now dating (again) but secretly this time. You didn’t want the backlash from your friends and Nate was going with it because you told him too. He couldn’t give less of a fuck.

You guys are about to go to a party but got occupied with each other. Before you were about to go. “Wait Nate, you have stuff on your nose.” You said as you wipe the ‘stuff’ off his nose.

“Thanks baby.”

I hate that I saw you again last night

You were with somebody and so was I

Met you in the bathroom at 12:05

And I fucked you again

Nate and Y/n broke up again. They were at a party, saw the other with someone else, 12:05 hit the clock and they were back in the bathroom.

“We really need to stop Nate!”

We can never be friends, yeah, yeah, yeah

We can never be friends, yeah, yeah, yeah

We can never be friends

We can never be friends, yeah, yeah, yeah

You were calling Nate seeing if he’s busy and he picked up immediately.

“Hey angel.” You roll your eyes. “Hi Nate.”

“Why are you calling me?” You can hear the tiredness in his voice but you ignore it.

“I was saying that it’s over like forever. And I’m probably gonna go back but I just want some type of closure.”

“Ok…” He sat up in his bed and was about to say something but you beat him too it. “So bye Nate.”

Yeah, I know that I said I was at home

Okay, yeah, you caught me

I thought that you said you were all alone

Look at you lying

You’re at another party and you saw Nate. He said he was home. You walk up to him and tap him on the shoulder and he turned around looking like he seen a ghost. “I thought you were home Nate. I want to talk to you.”

“Don’t pin this on me Y/n. You said you were all alone. Look at you lying.”

“Shut the fuck up. Now come on I want to fuck you one last time before I actually end this.” His mouth opened a little bit but he smirked.

“Lead the way angel.”

I hate that I saw you again last night

You were with somebody and so was I

Met you in the bathroom at 12:05

And I fucked you again

After you guys were done. You sat on the sink and he sat across from you on the bathtub.

“Were you serious about you ending things for good?” He said breaking the silence. You just nodded and his head went in his hands.

“I really hate the way you make me feel Nate. We gotta end this for good. The only reason it didn’t happen sooner was because you didn’t want to end. You gotta let go Nate.”

We can never be friends, yeah, yeah, yeah

We can never be friends, yeah, yeah, yeah

We can never be friends

After you told Nate that it was over, he went completely MIA, missing classes, not going to practice. He can’t even fathom that this is happening. He thought you guys were forever.

That Y/n and Nate were forever.

We can never be friends, yeah, yeah, yeah

An: HSIEJDIDJ ok but if you didn’t get the time placement THIS IS BEGINNING JUNIOR YEAR meaning that it just started so basically Y/n was Nate’s villain origin story 😔 BUT HOPED YOU ENJOYED MY LOVERS 🤍🤍