#I’m just like weird and like clear and separate boundaries for things

[tennessoui]

I hope you have fun at the beach! What is your fandom history and how long they have been in fandom?

thank you!!! I’m really looking forward to it it’s been far too long since I put my feet into the ocean and that feeling is one of the simpler joys of life

(I also packed like 5 mystery books. Can’t wait to aspire to read them all and then get distracted with the splash splash sandcastle building chaos)

Fandom history!! Wow well so for Obikin/Star Wars specifically, I watched the prequels Decemberish of 2020 and then started reading fic then before I started writing it in April of 2021! Been here ever since

as for fandom in general, I was reading all sorts of fics on fanfiction dot net in like 2011 and 2012 lol I remember having one of those really really long profile pages that had all the popular quotes and jokes and HTML tricks I had to copy from some how-to because I couldn’t figure it out myself

I’m pretty sure the first fic I ever wrote was for Harry Potter and my second fic was for 39 Clues if people even remember those books?? It was like national treasure for 10 year olds spread out over like 50 books. insane. Both were character studies that I’m sure abused italics and bolded text 100%

after fan fiction dot net days, I lurked in a lot fandoms to read fics but never posted much or wrote fic. Think I created this blog in like 2012 or 2013 and then when I got into Star Wars and started posting fic and got a few comments asking if I had a tumblr I did a quick cleanse of any posts from past fandoms and found a new profile picture of mark hamil in a golden suit 😂

[streaminn]

There’s something about the fact that personal boundaries exist to separate people from those who’d impede on one’s personal bubble, and yet for Wednesday Addams, because her boundaries are always clear, other’s feel bold enough to constantly cross them. Boring boys continue to ignore her clear intentions to be alone; trying new pathetic pickup lines that range from pedestrian to unintelligible. Fellow students interrupt her silent studies in the library to spark up a mundane conversation that go nowhere. Even some of the teachers try to rope the goth into some inane extra curricular with the promise of fun, even though she’s already participating in the required activities that she actually wants to do (fencing and bee keeping is enough). While Wednesday isn’t exactly yearning for the whole school to fear her (at least not too much) a healthy amount would be nice if it meant she’d have some peace and quiet without another person breaking the silence.

There’s an obvious exception though, personified in her bubbly roommate. Enid Sinclair has mastered the ability to somehow weave her way through Wednesday’s boundaries so effortlessly that it’s like a dance. The wolf so clearly wanted to wrap the raven in her arms since the moment they met, and yet she respected Wednesday’s wishes, only crossing the line after the two of them helped save the school. The goth even hugged back, and though she’ll never admit it, she wished the hug lasted longer. This isn’t even touching upon all the countless times that Wednesday has convieniently forgotten her aversion to touch when it comes her roommate. To be fair, Enid wouldn’t linger for long, and it was usually either Wednesday’s arms or shoulders, but the raven has harmed people for less, so there’s no denying that the wolf was special (though denial is a fickle thing anyways, especially according to a certain vampire).

Unfortunately, Wednesday was currently in a situation that didn’t involve her “only exception” as she found herself at the receiving end of a new student’s attempts at flirtation.

“Look, all I’m saying is that my ability to heal rivals everyone here,” says boring lizard boy whose name Wednesday didn’t even bother to hear. “I can even regrow limbs!”

Wednesday doesn’t even waste her energy rolling her brown eyes at this nobody, instead opting to just ask, “Why don’t you regrow them somewhere else, preferably far away from me.”

“Oh come on Addams, I know you’re into weird shit. You’re telling me you don’t have a single morbid thought about my abilities? ‘Cause let’s just say the healing helps with certain endurance based activities.”

“I hold no thoughts of you, for if I did, I’d risk lowering my IQ. Now leave.”

“Damn, can’t the savior of Nevermore throw this dog a bone? Not even a smile?”

His slimy fingers began to reach for one of the goth’s braids, but he soon found two of his fingers caught between a pair of scissors.

“Do not touch me, less we learn the extent of your abilities.”

The boy threw up his hands with a dopey grin. “Whatever you say Addams.”

Fed up with the social interaction, Wednesday began to make her way back to her shared dorm. Enid should be there, probably already painting Thing’s nails. Regrettably, this brief moment of thinking distracted Wednesday long enough to not notice the sleazy reptile once again reaching towards her. This time, he grabs her wrist, specifically the one holding the scissors.

It’s short lived however, because right as the raven was about to give this boy a sneak peak of Hell itself, she feels something splash against her face, followed by the shrieks of the idiot who dared touch her. Wednesday lifts her arm to see his freshly amputated hand still attached to her wrist. She touches her face and finds that some of his blood has indeed gotten on her. She finally looks to the source of the violence, finding her angry roommate with blood still dripping from her multicolored claws. The sight causes something to stir in Wednesday, not unlike the way she felt after hugging her bloody roommate for the first time.

“Don’t ever touch her,” growls Enid. “Don’t even look at her, or your eyes will be next.”

The lizard boy nods his head as if his life depended on it, before sheepishly asking, “Can I at least have my hand back?”

“Oh for sure!” With a smile on her face, Enid removed the hand from Wednesday’s wrist, and with a casual strength that only a werewolf could muster, threw it across school grounds so far it couldn’t be seen from where they were standing. “Go get it. Come on Wednesday, it’s almost your writing time.”

With a level of irony for the currently handless boy, Enid grabs Wednesday’s hand as she drags her away from the scene. All he can do is bleed and watch them disappear into the school.

As they walk the halls, Enid talks a mile a minute, with her actions now dawning on her. “I really just cut his hand off. Like, SLASH, off! It was like instinct, I wasn’t even thinking. I just saw him touch you, and I know you don’t like to be touched.”

“Enid.”

“Like I know you can fight your own battles, but part of being best friends is that you don’t have to do it alone anymore!”

“Enid.”

“I’m probably going to get into trouble aren’t I? I mean, he heals right? It’ll grow back, everything is fine. Plus, it was kind of self defense, or is it not ‘cause I was coming to your defense?”

“Enid.”

“Sorry, yes Wednesday?”

“While I agree that I could’ve handled it myself, your actions are appreciated, especially due to how vividly violent it was.”

The validation causes Enid to blush. “Aww, thanks Wednesday, anything for you.” The blonde smiles a big toothy grin, to which the goth replies with a small smile only meant for Enid. The two continue to their dorm, with a peculiar sight for anyone that dared to look in their direction: they were still holding hands.

Enid, realizing that her favorite sweater is covered in blood: awh man!! Now it's never going to wash out

Wednesday, already tugging her towards their dorm: I can help with that

[uncloseted]

but that's the thing!! she implied that a fan saying hello to her or asking for a picture is ALWAYS weird and creepy and that it shouldn't even cross our minds yet she has pictures with so many celebrities, and tries to become friends with them, like aren't they all supposed to be random people? it's hypocritical. that's why people including myself are mad at her

Anonymous asked:

I’m not the original anon but I think I agree with what she’s saying about Chappell. I also get what you’re saying about how hard it is to be famous and how harmful parasocial relationships are. I would never want to be famous and honestly I don’t think I could handle it for a week lol. I feel bad that Chappell has had to deal with stalkers and harassment. That’s never ok and shouldn’t be brushed off just because she’s a celeb. That is creepy and weird behavior. What I don’t like is how she’s labeling asking for a picture as creepy and weird. Celebs absolutely have a right to say no to a picture and I get it would be exhausting to constantly be asked that but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with asking as long as it’s done politely/you respect their answer. In the example she gives in the video she responds to a fan asking for a picture with “no what the fuck” and then says they shouldn’t get mad. If I nicely asked a celeb for a picture and they started swearing at me instead of just politely saying no I would be angry too. Boundaries can be communicated in a polite way. I think respect works both ways. I see a lot of people asking for empathy for Chappell (which I agree with) but I don’t see anyone asking her to have empathy for her fans.

Is that what she said, or is that what you heard? In the first video, she calls out people who yell at her from their car window, who harass her in public, who ask her for photos and then get mad when she says no, who get offended when she says she doesn't have time for an interaction, who stalk her family, who follow her around, who dissect her life, who bully her online, and who make assumptions about her. In the second one, she says that she doesn't care that abuse and harassment and stalking are considered normal things to do to famous people, those actions still aren't okay. Then she says that it's weird when people think that they know her just because they see her online and listen to the art that she makes, and that she's allowed to say no to creepy behavior. If to you, Chappell Roan saying "please don't harass me, stalk me, or get angry at me when I don't have time to interact with you. I need to be able to say no when people are being creepy" translates to "fans should never talk to me in public", I think you need to take a step back and think about what you're considering a normal fan interaction. I also think that it's important to remember the scale of this problem. While Chappell might be the first celebrity a person has ever seen, the person asking her for a picture is likely the fifth or tenth or thirtieth person she's talked to that day. It becomes impossible to exist as a person when you have that many people putting demands on you whenever you leave the house.

But also, even if Chappell had said, "please never approach me in public. When I'm Chappell, I'm Chappell, but when I'm Kayleigh, I'm Kayleigh, and I need to be able to keep those two parts of my life separate," which, to be clear, she didn't, I don't see what the problem is. The job of an artist is not to be a public figure who's accessible 24/7. It's to make art. Chappell Roan makes records, tours, and makes merch. Her fans buy the records, go to the tours, and buy merch. In return, they have a record, an experience of going to a show, or a piece of merch. That is the extent of what her job is. It's really weird to me that people feel that because they bought her record, they're also entitled to do whatever they want to her if they see her in public. There is no other job where that's just normalized, and it's weird that we normalize it for artists. Can you imagine if you sold someone a cup of coffee and from then on, that person decided it was acceptable to touch you in public and demand photos with you and stalk you? That would be weird, right? But because Chappell is a musician, that somehow makes it okay?

I also need you to understand that Chappell Roan taking a picture with a celebrity is very different than you approaching her in public to ask for a picture. Other celebrities are essentially her co-workers, and she's taking pictures with them at work events. Chappell Roan didn't just see Olivia Rodrigo in public and demand a photo with her - Chappell did background vocals for Olivia's GUTS album, then opened for her, then took a picture with her at the tour. That's basically the equivalent of going to a work event and taking a picture with your coworker. That's really, profoundly different than going up to someone you don't know on their day off and asking them for a picture and then getting mad when they say no.

Again, I think if she had been media-trained or written out a script before posting the video, her point probably would have been taken better than it has been. Her example of a hypothetical random lady who says, "no, what the fuck" when approached for a picture seems to have gone over particularly badly by people who aren't willing to accept that that's totally how a random person might react if they were asked that in public. But she's not wrong. She has the right to exist in public without having to be performing all the time. She has the right to take off her Chappell costume and just be Kayleigh. All celebrities should have that right, because they're just people.

We're putting these celebrities in gilded cages and expecting them to dance on command, as if they're objects instead of people. As Khadija Mbowe said in their video, there's a real way in which that's abusive. And the whole "well if she didn't want to be approached in public, she shouldn't have become famous" and "she should be more polite when communicating her boundaries" thing just reeks of victim blaming to me. It feels very "well why were you wearing that outfit if you didn't want me to hit on you" or "you're such a bitch for telling me you're not interested in fucking me". Chappell should have the right to be an artist without being harassed, and she should have the right to set her boundaries the way she thinks they'll be heard, even if that's in a way that's less than polite.

At the end of the day, just like... leave celebrities alone unless you're interacting with them in a professional context (like a meet and greet, con, show, etc) or if you're going to interact with them like you would an actual stranger. Write them a fan letter or a DM to tell them how much you love their work instead. Your desire to interact with them doesn't supersede their need for privacy and to be treated as a person instead of as an object. It just can't.

[athousandmorningss]

AITA?

Hello.

I am posting the below as both a cathartic way to get my thoughts out, but also in the hopes that a few of you might be able to offer advice or perspective, if you’ve the time or energy. So, here’s the tea:

As many of y’all know, I divorced my husband of ~4 years earlier this year. I communicated this to my friends, one of whom took it upon herself to look up my divorce documents. To be clear, the timeline is as follows: I submitted my divorce docs on a Friday and by Wednesday of the next week, she admitted to me she’d looked up the docs. In between the span of those days what she did not do is reach out to me in any shape or form to see how I was. Instead, she invaded my privacy and did something really, really fucking weird and inappropriate. In my opinion.

There were a few other things that happened shortly after that resulted in me eventually deciding I cannot be her friend. I communicated this to her and have not seen her since.

Here’s the rub: I met her (K) at the same time I met two of my other friends, A&J, at a bookclub. We all started hanging out together. At my suggestion, we started a real housewives watch party that met once a week. My ending the friendship with K has created weirdness. Well A&J agreed that it was not okay that K looked up my divorce docs, they have remained friends with her and continue to spend time with her. 

--

Last week we were supposed to meet for bookclub, which J& I were supposed to lead. Two days before the meeting, J let me know that K would be there. I was angry AF, in part because K had told me months ago that she was leaving the bookclub and started a separate one at work. K’s showing up last week is, in my mind, indicative of that fact that she does not give a fuck and has no shame. My take is that her little weird, inappropriate, spying ass should have stayed home.

I learned today that J knew K was going to come to the bookclub over a month ago, but waited until a few days prior to tell me.

---

I had lunch with J&A today and tried to facilitate a conversation about setting boundaries regarding K: namely, if there is a group event in which she will be there, I will not. But also: what do we do about weekly watch parties? ETC ETC. Something that A. said really struck me: “is there any chance that you’ll forgive K and become friends again.” And so what I learned is that they really don’t think what she did is meaningful (certainly based on the fact that they’ve remained friends with her) and A. at least has been hopeful we’ll become friends again.

--

I am very, very angry and uncomfortable. It has become very(!!!!) important to me to clock how I feel about the people around me post-divorce, namely because I just left an abusive marriage, and I want to feel safe/respected/supported/cared for in my relationships. I do not feel that in this moment, I am being supported by A&K. My earnest desire is that they stop being friends with K. But ultimately, I feel uncomfortable and angry and like I don’t have their support in this. AITA??

--

I don’t wanna do the thing where I cut two friends off because they are not responding how i want them to. I can’t control their responses. It bears noting that their support, communication and friendship is the primary catalyst that helped me leave my marriage. They’ve been incredibly supportive, and we’ve had some amazing times together. I do think they care about me. I’m just feeling a way, and am now considering ending my friendships with them.

AITA?

[ferdiefields]

@davisdrake (continued from here):

Well, this was awkward. Davis knew about Ferdie of course, but he wasn’t expecting to run into Louie's ex with Louie, especially when their recent kiss was still so fresh and, well, undiscussed. Davis looked from Ferdie to Louie, trying to gauge what the hell either of them could be thinking right now. He couldn’t help but feel like he wasn’t supposed to be part of this interaction, even if he was literally paying Louie to hang out with him. It felt necessary for Davis to say something to make things less weird. An introduction, perhaps? “— Uhhh, no tension. Just .. surprised. Ferdie, right?” He held out his hand to shake it, despite the obvious discomfort. “I’m Davis.”

Finding out that Louie was a sugar baby was one thing Ferdie hadn’t expected upon arriving back in Echo Isle, but all things considered it truly wasn’t that surprising. Louie had always been willing to do (almost) anything to make money, and a gig like this—where he got paid just to hang out with a rich guy and partake in his lavish lifestyle—was a double win. The only catch was that he seemed to be rather reluctant to introduce his friends to the guy. They all knew who he was, of course, but there remained a clear separation between Louie’s friend group and his sugar daddy, maybe to maintain the boundary between his work and personal life. Whatever the case, Ferdie would just have to see what he could gauge about the situation from this interaction, because running into the two like this was a rare opportunity. He couldn’t help commenting on the weird atmosphere that seemed to linger even after Davis denied any tension. Interesting. Maybe trying to push some buttons would reveal a little of what was going on here. He accepted the handshake. "Surprised...Didn't Louie mention I was in town? I'm sure it was only a matter of time before we met. Then again, Louie does seem to be doing his best to keep you all to himself."

[soil-just-needs-water-to-be]

Chapter 33

Mention : I don’t really think there’s much (mention of food issues , weed and slight smut but I’m not sure if anything else I can’t remember)

Word count : 3.8K

I really enjoyed writing this omg , I really hope you guys enjoy it as much as I did we’ve all been waiting for it

Matty's POV

Matty: George got off the train no hassle , we're going to have a smoke then make our way back to the car

Tim: that's alright son , take your time.

We're now sat in the smoking area , I'm sure George has his own smokes but as I'm taking mine out I offer him one from my carton , and offer him my lighter too. Again I'm sure he has his own but it's nice ain't it. He was shaking a little and I nudged him and gave him a knowing look.

"I'm nervous Matty, what if they don't like me?" , he brung the cigarette to his lips, inhaling a long drag and I watched his cheeks hollow out before he expelled the smoke. He then smiles at me and I tentatively take his hand in my mine again, hopefully not pushing any boundaries. His hand grows tighter around mine and he sits closer to me closing the mere centimetres that we're between us.

"Darlin, I'm sure everyones gunna love you" , I bring his hand up to my lips again and softly kiss his knuckles. "You're amazing , you're beautiful, you're funny , and you keep me sane man". I take another quick drag of my cigarette in unison with George, I can feel him looking at me "what's up darlin?"

"I don't want to be weird .....and you....you can say no....but can I kiss you?" , he looked like a deer in headlights as the words were slipping from his mouth and I couldn't help but smile at him and let out a little chuckle. "I mean ....I guess ...nevermi"

"Darlin , shush , yes you can, you can kiss me as much as you like" , with that being said I felt his hand leave mine and come up to my face as he pulled me into him softly and kissed me, he tasted like smoke and coffee and something that I feel like is just George you know. We stay like this for a couple minutes just separating to gain our breath back. "Your a good kisser", I can feel the blush on my cheeks radiating from me again and I chuckle.

"You are too" , the smile that was displayed on his face was most likely identical to mine , looking like love sick teenagers. I gave him another quick peck on the cheek then we both dropped out cigs, linked our hands and began to make our way back to the car, his grip on my hand got a little tighter as we reached the car park "Matty promise me it's gunna be okay"

"What's gunna be okay darlin ?"

"Me being there , I'm not gunna be in the way am I, I'm not gunna mess things up right?" , he pauses just before we properly reach the car and pulls me back a little the fear clear on his face.

"George I promise , everything will be amazing okay , I know it's easier to say then do but please stop worrying , I promise everything will be grand, just remember I'm always right there", I squeeze his hand sent a quick smile his way and slowly pull him to the car , my dad got out the driver seat and started greeting George "Hiya lad , how was your trip", I watched George shake my dads hand as I took his case and dropped it into the boot of the car

"It was alright thanks Mr Healy , wasn't too long" , as I leaned on the back of the car watching the interaction take place I couldn't help but think George looks so awkward trying to be formal with my dad it was kind of funny. " The train was delayed by like five minutes but it didn't really matter", my dad did eventually tell him that it was okay to just call him Tim, we all then just trundled into the car George and I in the back and my dad in the driver seat as we sped away.

"Hey Matty ?", George said as we'd been on the road for roughly five minutes.

"Yeh?"

"How long roughly till we get to yours?"

"25 minutes depending on the traffic , why ?, what's up?" , we'd both just been taking pictures of each other you know being cheesy and the smile on our faces hadn't left since we saw each other.

"Kinda really have to pee, but it's fine"

"Why didn't you go in the station , or on the train ,you melon?", I couldn't help the smirk on my face he really is a numpty.

"We'll you know public transport don't fancy that really , just can never trust those transport toilets" , he was laughing to himself as he said it "and well at the station I was a little preoccupied was I not ?"

"Yeh we were a little preoccupied BUT you have a pretty mouth there , that makes very good sounds you could have said" , I couldn't help staring at his lips while saying that they really are so pretty.

"Nah I was too busy , it's alright though", our hands met in the middle console of the car, " Is Lou excited ?"

"Aww man , he's actually buzzing , been asking all day, he was supposed to come with us but he fell asleep, he's expecting you to play with him when we get back so be prepared for that" , his grip on my hand got tighter as he smiled back at me .

"You know I'll play with him anytime he wants, but I wanna spend as much time as I can with you, what days are your Exams on?", I missed what he'd said it took me a second to process the words because I couldn't help but just get lost in his eyes, so pretty , deep brown , like chocolate cake. When I noticed him just staring at me with such a wacky smile on his face , I snapped out of my haze.

"Sorry ...uh I think... Wednesday morning ....Thursday afternoon and Friday afternoon aswell ....but there only a few hours each" , my cheeks where burning again because I was caught just staring at him again "sorry"

"Why you sorry love, you've got to do them and your going to do amazingly and you've got me , I can help you study, if you need me too" , he leans over and kisses my cheek , while whispering if my ear "obviously if there's time after all the other studying I'm going to be doing"

"George", I track my eyes from his face to my dad as if to say shush my dad can here you. "Not the place", I was still smiling either way.

"So....does it really matter Im sure he knows anyways", he adjusts himself again in the seat once pulling away from me.

"You doing alright there ?", I smirk up at him after I compose myself

"Yeh all good", he pulls the camera up on his phone and asks me to get in shot with him and we take a picture with us both in it , first one of many in the week to come. "See you're gorgeous Matty"

"No , I think your possibly looking at yourself there darlin" ,

After another five minutes , my dad pulls up outside the house and I tell George where here , I also tell him that the door should be open so just make his way upstairs I'll get his bags in

"My rooms upstairs second door on the left and I've got the en-suite so just go ahead"

"Thank fuck", he jumps out of his side and make his way in as I wander off to the boot pulling his suitcase out as I watch him run inside, I'm not to far behind him after thanking my dad for driving us and then also make my way upstairs I spot George standing at my door with it wide open and he looks a little pale

"The toilets just there", I point to the other door at the corner off my room , but I see him just shake his head as I step into my room and pull his suitcase onto my bed "George what's up "

"What is that" , I follow his line of sight over to where he's looking and I then realise he looking at my snake enclosure

"It's okay George shes just my snake" , I leap up from my bed and walk over to the enclosure and wait for her to slither up my arm and tentatively walk over to George "Don't be scared , she won't hurt you, I promise, come say Hi"

He doesn't move an inch just frozen on the spot with his mouth agape, "uh , I don't think that'll be happening Matty , Snakes are scary as fuck man", He moves around the door and slips into the bathroom. "I'll be back in a second"

I put the snake back into the enclosure and flop down onto my bed while I wait for George to come back , which only take a minute or so , I hear the door click as it opens and George comes bouldering over and jumps onto the bed grappling me into a hug and kisses all over my face. "Hi there love"

"Hiya darlin , you feel better now ?" , I roll us over and I'm straddling his hips as I play with his hair sighing as I do , twisting a few strand through my fingers .

"I'm alright love , but for the love of everything that is holy , please don't come anywhere near me with that snake , I know it's the most irrational thing ever but snakes are scary" , he looked genuinely scared when I saw him stood at the door so he's probably not kidding and I'm not going to push it, so I just smile at him nodding

"I won't don't worry handsome , if she scares you that much I'll just keep her in there" , he pulls me into him softly with one of his hands on my hip as the other travel to my back kissing me softly on the lips , something I could get used too. I place my hands on either side of his cheeks rubbing my thumbs softly as we get lost in each other.

We're lost in each other for what feel like five minutes , then we here a light tap on the door and it opens slowly " Maffu is Geor...." , Louis doesn't finish his sentence as he lays eyes in George and comes running over and jumps into the bed "Hiya Georgie"

"Hi lad" , George sits up properly and I climb off of him so Louis can give him a hug, "did you have a good nap, it looks like you did ay", he ruffles his hair a little trying to flatten it , I watch on with amazement as I watch my two favourite boys get on.

"It was good but I'm awake now so I can play, you can play right ?", I do want us to hang out all together but I also do just want to nap next to George for a while because 1 hour of sleep in like the last day and a half is starting to get to me.

"Hey kiddo , do you think it would be okay if we played after dinner , because we're a little tired and we're going to have a little nap"

"Aww but you said we could play when George comes" he turns around on George's knee to look at me

"I know kiddo , I'm sorry , it shouldn't be too long, just after dinner"

"Pinky promise!" , we link our pinkies together as way of a promise because I can't even break a promise and Louis knows this, he then hugs George one last time and slides from the bed, running out of the room again. George looks at me with those damn pretty eyes of him "you tired babe ?"

"Little bit yeh"

He sticks his arms out and makes grabby hands at me as he lays back down again , I lay down next to him resting my head on he's chest and he wrap his arms around me "get some sleep yeh , you've gotta be shattered you didn't sleep last night"

"Can you play with my hair , it'll help"

"You know I will handsome",  his hands star slowly running through my hair as I hold him tightly feeling my eyes drops "sleep tight handsome" , before I drift off I feel George plant a kiss on my head.

————————————xx——————————————

George's POV

While Matty slept I decided to post the photo of us that I'd taken onto my story captioning it "I'm in Manchester for the week , seeing this cutie" , then decide to text Adam for a bit while Matty sleeps

George : alright Hann , I made it okay

Adam: that's great lad , how is it

George : he's actually so cute Ad like seriously , and from what I've seen his dad seems chill , his little brother is just as excited to see me , I think it's going to be great

Adam: that's amazin, so I know you've only been there like an hour or so but anything fun to tell me yet

George : Jesus Hann , we just kissed that's all but uh yeh I think I might actually wanna be with him yanno , like I knew that anyway , but he's so pretty Hann

Adam: so when can I meet him , to make sure he's right for my best mate

George : maybe next time ??

Adam: have you guys made any plans for the week or just winging it ??

George : I don't actually know yet , I know I'll be going to see his mates Ross and Jamie at some point I don't know anything else , we didn't really plan anything , or if he has , he ain't said .

Adam: we'll I'll leave you too it , but keep me updated yeh , and you know I'm here if things get weird or whatever

George: thanks lad , I'll talk to you later.

I drop my phone back onto the bed , slip from Matty's grasp making my way to the suitcase and pull out a present I had gotten for him, place it on the bottom of the bed. The wrapping paper is black and have geometric white boxes all over it. I pull a hoodie on over my shirt and slip into some joggers. Once I'm changed I take a quick look around his room , my eyes instantly falling on his drum kit a silver "Yamaha Rydeen" set in the corner of his room , where he had a few acoustic guitars set up on the stands around it and two Electronic Guitars up on the racks on the wall , one in bubblegum pink and the other Race-car red as well as a banjo on his dresser, every single part of his room was covered in band posters , movie posters scattered all over the place. I take a seat on the small drumming stool behind the kit at first I feel like a giant on the chair my knees basically nearly touching my chest so I adjust it , it squeaks loudly it makes me cringe as I watch Matty slightly stir in his sleep but he doesn't wake which is okay. I search for some drum sticks the brush type so that it's not to loud. He also had the covers on them. I just spend some time mucking about on them , not using the kick drum felt forgein while still using the snares but I don't want to wake him.

I spend about an hour just messing about on the drums and a while on the banjo which in turn accidentally wake Matty "Georgie , what are you doing?", his voice sound gravelly and he's rubbing his eyes and he sits up. So pretty

"Sorry did I wake you?" , I place the sticks back were I found them and make my way back over to Matty "I'm sorry if I did handsome"

"Nah you didn't wake me , I just don't sleep for very long you know", he stretches his arms out and inviting me in for a hug so I just pull him into a tight hug.

"Did you sleep okay?" , I pull the ringlets of his hair on the nape of his neck and let it spring back into place "you're so cute with that just woken up face you know?"

He buries his fave in my chest as he shakes his head a little , his hair falling over his eyes "what we're you doing ?"

"Just checking out your instruments , you've got some pretty cool gear there", I pointed up to the pink guitar in the wall that I'd been pulled to a few times since noticing it but didn't move it because I don't want to accidentally break it. "That one's pretty cool , when did you get that".

"The pink one ?, I got that myself a few months ago, I saw in a music shop in town and I thought it was really awesome, and the guy in the shop let me play it for a while and it just sounded amazing" , he took a hold of my hand that was pointing at the guitar and pulled it to his lips and kissed my knuckles, "that fight you had must have been a really hard one darling , your hands are still bruised from it" , he kisses each knuckle individually "are ....you...okay ....what ....about ....the others kid" each word punctuated with a kiss.

The blush that had been on my face continued to burn my cheeks " I broke his nose, I always forget I'm stronger than I feel sometimes , but that lad deserved it like, I don't know what he expected" , I turn to Matty with my free hand on his jaw and kiss his lips. "I'm fine though and I'm sure he is too" , We break from the kiss and I see the present on the bed "Oh I got you a present" , I break away from his hold so I can reach for it, I place it in his lap and we both sit cross legged across from each other and our knees press together "there only little but I thought you'd like them".

He marvelled at the wrapping paper for a second before tearing into it, "You didn't have to you know?", the first thing he pulled out was a grey "Santa Cruz" hoodie and his eyes lite up when he pulled it out "Man this is so cool , and Jesus it's soft" , he immediately pulled it over his head and I may have picked a size to big because he was drowning in it but by Christ does he looks cute, the next thing where the two hats I'd picked, I had bought one and my mum had made the other , a grey and greeen "Land Rover" hat but the words had been rearranged and some missing so it looked like it said "Lover" and the other was a little white and black rabbit hat. "George this is so cute , who made this", he pulled the bunny hat (the sincerity hat) on slightly squint on his head, his curls where still noticeable under it.

"My mum makes them, my little sister wanted one , but I also thought it would be something you might like so I asked her to make you one", Matty surges forward throwing his arms around me as we fall back against the bed mumbling “Thank you” over and over into the crook of my neck.

“It’s okay love honestly , I’m glad you like them”

“I love them George seriously, wait hold on” , he gets up quickly and makes his way over to his wardrobe and pulls out a few things , “I didn’t get you anything but I did say you could have a few of my hoodie if you like so uh yeh , here picks the ones you like” , there was the fluffy cardigan that he always wears and I know there’s a story behind that and he’ll struggle to part with that , along with a red , yellow and red striped sweater , a few band hoodies and a worn blue Nike hoodie that looks like it would also drown him out, I’m immediately drawn the the Nike one since it looks to be quite worn meaning he wears it a lot so I reach out to grab it but I’m still looking at the fluffy cardigan. “ You can have the cardigan you know darling if you would really like it , as well as the hoodie , I don’t mind”

“The cardigan is special to you , I know you and I see how you are with it” , I look up at him stood at the end of the bed and his hoodie sleeves are resting over his hands and one hand is in his mouth as he’s biting on his nails. Something he does when he’s nervous.

“It was Janey’s , I stole it from her once upon a time I said I’d give it back and just never did, but eventually even she agreed I suited better , but I REALLY want to give it to you , so you can feel just as good as I do when I wear it , feel the security I guess” , he climbed back onto the bed and passed it to me “like seriously , It’s okay”

“I promise I’ll look after it” , I gently pull him back onto my lap , kiss his face, each cheek and then his lips. “I promise to look after you too handsome”

Matty’s head was swiftly back in the crook of my neck, his hair tickling my face and I feel his teeth graze my neck sending a shiver down my spine “Is this okay George” , I nod and slide my hand up to tangle in his hair to keep him there and he begins to nibble and suck into the sweet spot on my neck. I pull his hair lightly so I don’t hurt him just to pull him off me.

“Don’t start something if we can’t start something love”

“Who says we can’t , I can lock the door”

“Is that really the first impression , we want to give your parents IVE only been max four hours love” , my hand in his hair is still playing with his girls and he’s leaning into and his eyes and falling closed again.

“It’s okay , honestly, we don’t have to though if you don’t want to obviously”, I could feel myself growing hard with him on my lap and I could see it in his eyes he wanted too.

“We don’t have to go all the way right now , right ?”

“No darlin, what did you have in mind instead”, I pretend to think for a while because really I know exactly what I’d like but the back and forth is very fun too.

My hand wanders under the hoodie he’s wearing and I slightly pull in the waist band of his jeans to bring him even closer to me “head sounds good to me”

“George you’re as good as me darlin”

[corruptedsilence]

Anonymous asked: I am sorry, I followed to rp with you but you seem to not want to follow me and so I have chosen to terminate my follow of you so that we can both go about our separate ways and live our lives to the fullest. May you live in peace and harmony I hope you have cheap gas and have a good job and have a loving family one day or a life alone if that is what you would prefer. I also hope you have health insurance and a nice car and a reason to feel good about living in a world that sometimes only ever seems like it wants to take away from us all. I hope I have not hurt your feelings by unfollowing you, I do not want to hurt your feelings but it is just really awkward for me personally to be following someone who does not follow me for various reasons. I thought long and hard about this decision and I feel it would be best. Again, I mean no disrespect and I hope you are not angry with me. Goodbye.

Dude............... I don’t even know who you are. Do you know how many followers I have? I have like 172. Some are other RP blogs, some are personal blogs. I do not follow every single person who follows me. I keep my dash clean and clear and as safe as possible for me.

If your blog is a personal blog, I will not RP with you, I don’t RP with personal blogs, so if you don’t make a distinction of your blog then yeah, I’m not going to follow you. I have every right to say no, to following someone. You are not entitled for me to follow you, I owe you literally nothing as a stranger on the internet.

I find it really funny that you phrase this like “we’ll go out separate ways” as if we were ever going the same way? My dude, I don’t know you, I’m not hurt by this and frankly if you had left I probably would never have noticed much of a difference. I’m sorry that it’s the truth, if you never reached out, never spoke to me, or send an ask, I will not know much of a difference if you unfollow me especially if I was never following you.

For 2) I am not mutually exclusive. I understand people who are, and I respect that, but I will RP with non-mutuals. IT might be a lil hard since I dont see you all the time and notifications are weird but I’ll happily RP with people im not mutuals with because my dash I want to keep safe, but sometimes people have a right to post things I don’t want to see, and that doesn’t make them bad, I just dont want it on my dash but that, to me, doesnt mean I want to cut all ties.

I understand it’s awkward for you but you legit are just making everything worse by sending me this ask. You could have just left without a peep and it would be fine, but making this ask, is guilt tripping. You are trying, whether you mean to or not, by your words to make me feel bad because I have boundaries and didn’t want to follow you. You’re phrasing things in such a way that you want me to feel bad and be upset and sad because I have and enforce boundaries. Well I’m not, and TBH I’m laughing at this more than anything to think someone is entitled to my time and will try to make me feel bad when you made little to no effort to even speak to me let alone make yourself known to me.

With all due respect, this is extremely disrespectful. You putting this big goodbye letter *on anon mind you* so I dont even know who you are, cuz I could have kept it private otherwise but ya know, that’s gone, but you put this here like it’s supposed to mean something when; I don’t know you.

Sorry dude, I’m not going to feel bad if that was your goal or whatever this was trying to accomplish because this, if anything, just makes me want to never interact with you ever, period.

[anaphroditealtermaybe]

A Prayer:

Holy Aphrodite;

I don’t know you well yet, but I’m grateful you’ve revealed yourself to me. My name is Cara - Ann Abigail. I’ve recently been married, and I love my husband very much but often feel unworthy of him. Thank-you for your part in my relationship with him. Please take this image of a waterfall I found online for you, enjoy its beauty and energetically enjoy its cleansing aura. I do intend to give you physical things as well, but usually to share them with you, as a sister. If this is not okay with you, please make it explicit to me, right now I feel it’s okay, even though other people who know you better have said otherwise— I’m hearing you say (though I may be wrong) that the mistake is for people to intend to give you something forever and then take it back. If the intent from the beginning is to share, you are okay with that as long as it is done with respect. I am also hearing you say, though of course I may be wrong, that if you want anything just for you, you test me to listen when you make that clear, and are open to negotiations if it’s something I feel I can’t afford to give up. You also want me to know that you love me, you want the loving relationship with me that I want. You want all love. And love for me is different than it is for other practitioners— you’re okay with me being weird, and want me to love and embrace myself. So, out of your love for me, you can replenish everything I give with abundance. Offerings are a symbol, to make more real for the human in the human-goddess relationship, the give and take aspect of all relationships. It’s not about your need for anything, it’s about your desire for me to desire your pleasure. Which I do. You’re beautiful and I have a deeply ingrained tendency to want beautiful people to feel pleasure. This is part of your magnificence as a goddess of love and pleasure, you make clear the difference and similarities between the two, and to help me see my own beauty and desire my own pleasure, and to see the beauty in everyone and help them achieve their own truest desires. Authenticity is important to you, and you’ll help me embody my truest self. Everyone’s truest self is beautiful; if they’re not beautiful they aren’t being themselves— or, the person looking at them isn’t seeing who they truly are, due to a block in their own self-image. People are wrong when they say you have an ego. When people dare to compare themselves to your beauty, they’re saying they completely embody love itself. Humans can’t do that. So, we’re lying. I am not you. I will never be love or beauty or pleasure herself. I am a human, not an embodiment of a concept, which is the essence of goddess.

You’ve said to me that I can come here whenever I like, and sit in your presence to learn like I have here. But it’s important that when I do I make it holy— don’t do it standing in line at the grocery store or in the middle of a conversation with someone else. This is a sacred time; and I will respect it. Separation is important for growth, concentration of energy— not a soup. A sharpening.

I would like to know how you relate to the Christian God yhwh and his son Jesus, and their order of angels and the demons they believe in. I know this is not your job, but if we encounter problems, it will probably be related to Christianity. I’m hearing you say no to this. And that I’ll understand why later. I promise not to bring it up again. You’re not going to fight for me. It’s my choice how much of my life I want you to take up. You will ask, and I will ask, and we are friends. If I want to serve another god more than I serve you, you will respond how you want to, and I’m not entitled to you telling me what that would be in advance. But you respect me and love me and won’t hurt me unless I blaspheme you. You respect my boundaries to work with who I want.

Thank you for this time. In addition to your waterfall, I will leave you something from my fridge, and we can share some chocolate. Is there anything you would like to say before I go?

-yes, but a NICE razor, money doesn’t matter.

-moisturize your face, do your make-up before you go to the store

-the hair skin and nails gummies are good, but you need vitamin D and iron more.

Thank you 🐬

[bestworstcase]

i think what’s so interesting wrt the cassandra-rapunzel communication problem—& part of what’s frustrating about the wider fandom acting like it’s in any way cassandra’s fault that rapunzel deliberately ignores the things she says and the very clear boundaries she consistently tries to lay down—is that like

it’s not rapunzel’s fault

but i do think it’s something she does deliberately, not out of malice but because that behavior is something gothel trained her to do, by playing nasty little mind games and gaslighting the fuck out of rapunzel for eighteen years and cultivating the relationship we see in tangled wherein rapunzel is made responsible for managing gothel’s feelings and divining the true meaning behind everything she said and being punished with sly verbal abuse whenever she failed. and like, that’s the only communication model rapunzel has.

(even the situation with eugene kind of reinforced that, i think; not because eugene is in any way like gothel but because the person he initially presented himself as, flynn rider, turned out to be a façade rapunzel needed to see through in order to get to know the real eugene, which…is not that different from the interpersonal model rapunzel learned from gothel, really. people have a mask that they show you and it’s your job to ignore it and look past it and see the real face underneath, or else…bad things)

(also rapunzel gets tossed into serious princessing within WEEKS of leaving the tower so i am sure like the majority of people she interacted with at this point being POLITICIANS didn’t help, lmao)

and then she meets cassandra and. beginnings establishes that the first thing rapunzel is drawn to about cass is that cass doesn’t have a façade; cass is blunt and honest and real—(which is a perception that, tangentially, i think also contributes to rapunzel’s ongoing blindness to the social and class disparities between herself and cass, bc despite cass saying so Out Loud, Many Times, until the very end of the show raps never does quite grasp that cass has a job to do and does in fact maintain and desire a level of professionalism and separation btwn her job and her personal life in spite of her straightforward demeanor)—anyway, the point being, i think rapunzel DOES have a genuine social knack buried under all the layers of trauma and awful conditioning she got from gothel, because she’s able to identify instinctively right from the start that cassandra Isn’t Like the two-faced people rapunzel is surrounded by. which like, i’m not using two-faced as a value judgment here, just—rapunzel is surrounded by politicians and diplomats and servants and courtiers and one freshly-reformed charismatic thief and all of these people very fluently speak a social language that rapunzel doesn’t, one which requires them to play certain roles that might be wildly disconnected from their true selves, and rapunzel herself isn’t equipped to parse the distinction between that and what gothel was. so: she sees cass, who plays the game just enough to stay out of trouble but also openly chafes against it, and immediately is drawn to her because cass barely plays and openly resents the game.

so like, rapunzel knows that cass is Different From Other People and yet—even knowing that she doesn’t and honestly probably can’t just take things cass says at face value, because taking anything anyone says at face value goes against everything she’s ever been taught about how people work, and she likely legitimately cannot fathom that when cass Very Clearly says things like “we are not friends” she just… means them. & then ofc beginnings involves cass pursuing a career opportunity that would take her out of corona and rapunzel finding out and feeling personally betrayed and doubting her own instinct, which…again i think probably just reinforced this conditioning

and the end result is rapunzel through no fault of her own ends up in this WEIRD zone where she recognizes that cass is a basically honest person who doesn’t hold back much on her opinions but also rapunzel doesn’t trust that and maybe doesn’t trust her own perceptions enough to fully accept that when cass says no to something it’s okay to take her at her word—all exacerbated by the fact that cassandra at the end of the day can’t enforce boundaries with rapunzel except by expressing frustration when they’re violated, bc she’s rapunzel’s servant. so like, genuine consequences of transgressing cass’s stated boundaries aren’t even possible—it’s not like cass can remove herself from the situation! so how is raps supposed to learn better? she can’t.

but there is that deliberateness to it, because a) rapunzel has this instinctive perception of cassandra’s straightforward nature and b) cassandra herself nine times out of ten says in plain terms exactly what she wants and often why, and while it isn’t rapunzels fault that she has this fuckton of baggage ignoring what cass says in favor of trying to divine her ‘true’ feelings IS a choice that she makes, out of anxiety and self-doubt and just flat out not having ever learned any other way to treat people

& i mean i talk to death the subject of cassunzel fanon stripping cass of agency and making the uwu poor friendless repressed sad useless idiot lesbian rapunzel needs to rEsCuE and bRiNg OuT oF hEr ShELL but it’s like. not quite as but almost as frustrating how framing rapunzel as like, basically cassandras emotional support animal and also someone totally blameless and totally ignorant in her treatment of cass takes away rapunzels agency and intelligence too. (this girl grew up isolated in a tower with no one to talk to but her abuser and a chameleon and she fucking taught herself physics and astronomy and how to cook and bake and make music and paint, and you expect me to believe that in two years she never once even thought “hmm cass told me not to do this, but…”? like first all that’s not the defense of rapunzel you think it is because that level of ignorance legitimately makes people dangerous, and second of all it’s just literally not true like, in BEA/WTH rapunzel understands perfectly well that cass doesn’t want her to share cassandra’s secret with eugene and after multiple conversations on the subject decides to do it anyway! in UR she literally says out loud on two separate occasions that she knows cass doesn’t want her to pry and proceeds to do it anyway! These Are Choices She Is Making)—& i just

like the girl is anywhere from six months to three years out of a horrible isolated abusive lifelong situation depending on what part of the show you’re looking at and yeah of course her choices are shaped by her trauma but—god, they’re still HER CHOICES. and i guess i just don’t understand the appeal in watering down the agency rapunzel has in making those choices and the complexity of why, because rapunzel isn’t an idiot and she does know that cass really doesn’t want her to do things sometimes and there are times when she very openly displays discomfort or hesitation about transgressing those boundaries but does it anyway because doing what she feels like doing—to soothe her own anxiety or guilt or curiosity or whatever!—just… feels better in the moment than trying to be respectful of cassandra’s personal space. like, it’s not her fault she’s like this but if she wanted to change she absolutely could? cassandra in a lot of ways is the ideal person to learn about boundaries from because she’s the kind of person who says exactly what she means 95% of the time and if raps were to like, make a genuine effort to tackle things im positive cass would’ve been more than willing to help raps figure out some strategies for managing that anxiety—even as it is cass despite her frustration with constantly being trampled over showed rapunzel a lot of patience and understanding!! this could so easily have been something they collaborated on together and became even closer through, but… it would have been uncomfortable and rapunzel isn’t good at discomfort! she deals with it by shoving it down and pretending everything is fine even when she knows it isn’t!

& like

that’s good that’s a good thing characters having agency in their fuckups and making choices that they know aren’t right bc it happens to feel better is good—all of this is why rapunzel is such a neat character and a huge part of why tts was so great, bc it took the very rosy fantasy of rapunzel as this sweet ball of sunshine virtually untouched by the horrors of her upbringing besides her endearing naïveté and threw that out the fucking window to treat her like an actual goddamn person instead, one who does try her best but still makes mistakes and also sometimes just flat out makes shitty selfish decisions, bc trauma is messy and recovering from abuse is hard and people can be complicated and contradictory and more than just one thing, and—just, god, why would you want to take that away from her by treating every bad choice she makes as something fundamentally outside of her control?

[aroaceacacia]

Hermittwt be like “I’m going to ignore the whole argument and focus on the fact that people are trying to defend “irl shipping” fuck you if you don’t care about the irl people and focus on the storyline and rp you’re shipping real people no matter what and I’m going to harass you for it even if you’re just saying not to harass people”

what upsets me is the way people leap to and go out of their way to talk about how bad shipping is, and at the same time I've only seen one person say "I dont like shipping but harassment is bad"; meanwhile, the "hermittwt carrd" (ostensibly the rules guidelines for their community) states some of the following things

- a statement about how some hermits are ok with shipping but "shipping actual people" can be uncomfortable (nobody ships the actual human hermits but okay fair we all have different boundaries)

- hermittwt as a whole "does not condone irl hermitshipping" (again, nobody is shipping actual human people, and I do think its weird to use "condone" here, because "condone" implies morality and again it all ties back into hermittwt's treatment of shipping as a deeply moral thing and their view of being against it/shippers as something just)

- "if you are uncomfortable with anything someone said, dm them! please don't accuse other members of the community on the timeline" (and yet it's okay for people to force an artist to apologize for appropriately tagging their art as ship, to publicly and continuously react negatively and warn people away from another artist?)

It just makes me so incredulous that hermittwt have these rules, and yet they break them when it comes to shippers, because shippers arent allowed to be part of the community. shippers are the outgroup and so when someone goes onto hermittwt and stirs the pot a bit almost nobody condemns the harassment and shaming. because at the core they agree with it.

fundamentally, some people understand hermitcraft differently. im sure hermitblr was deeply influenced by the yogscast fandom, who have been forcibly separating art from artist since at least as far back as 2013. im sure hermittwt was deeply influenced by dream smp fandom, which (despite often being About Roleplay thats very clear that Its Fiction) blurs the line between "being a fan of this creator" and "being a fan of this character"; you aren't often only one, usually you're both.

Honestly? I kind of hope one of the hermits tells them to get their act together. I want to see how they react when they've been scolded

[minachuuu]

Mafia!Red Velvet Reaction to being teased for their soft spot on their S/O

⚠ TW: Swearing, guns, knifes, mention of kidnapping & murder.

Irene

A feared boss in her city, her gang is known for pledging an undying allegiance to her, and while every rival family tries and tries to look for one, it's bold of anyone to believe Joohyun has any type of weakness. But that doesn't mean that she isn't capable of loving. 

Of course you knew about her job and her status, but everything about her ruthless reputation sounded so wrong to you. She wasn't sinister, heartless and wicked at all, but a super attentive, caring and sweet girlfriend. Your only connection to that world was your girlfriend, both being completely clear that you didn't want in on the business. But even if Joohyun knew to separate her personal life from her workplace, some of her subordinates sometimes mistake her amiability and cross lines she defends very ardently. 

A disappointed and terrified gasp filled the table when a newly promoted subordinate had the guts to get you into the conversation unprompted and even jokingly call you the 'weak spot' of the gang. His laughter started dying after nobody followed him into the joke, only to be instantly cut when the click of a gun was heard at the end of the table. 

"It's never a bad time to remind you all of certain rules," Joohyun's mouth was far from a smile, as she waved the point of the gun around the table, finally landing over the petrified man. "Just in case any of you forgot."

The man gulped hard, his hands shaking in the armrests of his chair as Irene went out in a knife-cutting tension rant, enough to make everyone, even the closest members sweat their nerves out. 

"... But Y/N name is not to be out of anyone's mouth but mine." Joohyun put away the gun, not lowering her guard and the killing glance. "I hope it's perfectly clear, because I only warn once."

Seulgi

If it wasn't for the fact that Seulgi and some of her gang members were on the most wanted lists across the world, anyone could be fooled into thinking they were a totally normal, high-end suburban family. Since you both started seeing each other more seriously, she was clear about her job and identity, and enthusiastically introduced you to her gang. 

Of course you were a little scared at first, but everyone received you with open arms and warm smiles. And even if you wanted nothing to do with the business itself and Seulgi respected that, you couldn't avoid some of the reunions that came with being a partner of the boss. 

"I'm trying to close the deal with the casino owner down the strip, but if he doesn't agree with this final terms we'll be forced to get rid of hi-" You arrived at the table with a hot cup of coffee for her, as her tone, face and eyes completely shifted, glowing mesmerized by your image."Thank you sweetheart, come take a seat!"

The rest of the gang at the table started chuckling at the image in front of them: the one and only unbreakable boss, all melted at the sight of her lover. She scanned around, taken aback by the laughter until one subordinate dared talking. 

"Not to be a disrespectful boss," The man was lightly giggling through his words, but intending no harm. "But it's a little hard to take you seriously about exterminating someone when you look like a huggable teddy bear." 

All the room laughed at the comment, including Seulgi herself. She could take all the teasing the members wanted, but the moment anyone laid a finger over you, it's a total game over for them and they knew it. 

Wendy

There still were some things that you hadn't got completely used to even after all this time dating Seungwan, especially the entire mafia thing. She was such a sweetheart with you that when you joined her and her gang members on the meetings and that sort of stuff, it was so weird for you to listen about kidnappings, money and sometimes even murder coming directly from her mouth as if it was a normal theme for conversation. 

The family actually liked you and had a good relationship with you (Pity for anyone who didn't and Seungwan heard about it), but they also knew that you didn't want to get involved with the business at all, so they mostly stayed out of your way and off their mouths. But there were other unfortunate times when someone blurred the lines and dared crossing them. 

Driving to your summer home, two subordinates, your girlfriend and you joked around like normal people for once. Everything was doing just fine until the man on the copilot seat decided to abuse the trust of the situation a little too much. 

"You should know Y/N," He started chuckling, "I had never seen Seungwan so head-over-heels for a dumb wh*re befor-" 

Not a second had passed when the man was already being pinned back to his seat, with a knife pressed against his throat. 

"I didn't know you decided to practice comedy!" Seungwan kept laughing as she caressed his skin with the blade. "That was to die for! Don't you think?" 

The man immediately apologized, begging for his life with every word, when Seungwan slowly took the knife back to her pocket. 

"It's Mrs. Son for you." She snapped, taking your hand in hers. "You wouldn't want me to remind you about respect a second time."

Joy

For being a big mafia boss, Sooyoung was a pretty venerated figure in the city. Her gang was known mostly for investing around the city and being overall pacific, of course, unless provoked. Nobody could deny the closeness of the family either, but it didn't mean it was all flowers and rainbows, it's a power game after all. 

One that became a little more tense when you started dating the one and only boss, almost immediately after being welcomed into the family. Some of the other members thought you had no right to be by Sooyoung's side all the time, always locked in her office with her when there were members devoting their entire life to the business, as if being her partner was a position to be employed for. 

"I thought the boss would be more intelligent than that," One of the subordinates started, "Y/N has her under their grasp, it's getting ridiculous."

"Y/N doesn't even have the guts it takes to be in the business," Another subordinate followed. "It just makes the boss look wea-" 

"Excuse me? It makes me look how?" Sooyoung's voice coming through the door made every person's hair stand on end, as she walked past fixing the cuffs on her shirt. 

There was nothing that annoyed her more than those comments. Being the chief of a large and busy family was overwhelming at best and the fact that you were a little more outside of the whole thing wasn't a hindrance, it was her perfect escape from this black and white reality she led. 

"There are so many things that can be considered weak, like rumors, infighting, and even that blazer." Sooyoung pointed at one of the subordinates' clothes as she continued talking, everyone's legs shaking from terror. "But loving someone is not and will never be a weakness."

Yeri

When she told you that she was the Kim Yerim, the youngest mafia boss to ever be wanted by governments across the world, you thought it was all a joke. There was no way this caring, funny, kind woman was the one and only leader of the biggest gang in the city. But she was. 

And the surprises definitely didn't stop there. The reputation of the gang was absolutely nothing short of coldblooded, so of course it was surprising when the entire family received you as one of theirs into their circle. You stayed off their affairs, but still were a very welcomed presence at dinner and parties. The higher ranked started treating you as one of their own, teasing you and their boss, drinking and laughing, even protecting you when Yerim wasn't around. 

But there was an unfortunate day for one clerk though, because just as you both were leaving the dinner party, you over heard from his mouth call you both a 'bootlicker boss and their dumb sidechick'. 

"Hey," Yerim's call was enough for the man's face to go translucent, as she pointed back at him. "Follow me to the office please…"

You were safely escorted back to your house, where Yerim arrived later in the evening and refused to talk further on the matter. The next time you came back, you greeted everyone but didn't fail to notice a tense air going around in your presence. That's when it dawned on you. 

That clerk that insulted you was nowhere to be seen. Everyone, even you, knew exactly what happened to him. 

"It's not bad to remind the rest of their place," Yerim placed a kiss on your cheek as she intertwined her fingers with yours. "If I don't set the boundaries, who else will?"

[trashhoarder]

Domestic Abuse & Child Neglect mention

I enjoy the anti-horny Pamela meme, because they’re hilarious. Hoevever, I just want to say that I’m pretty sure her murders weren't fueled by a hatred for promiscuity.

I doubt she'd be an enthusiastic supporter of premarital sex. She was born in 1930 and Child support laws were often inefficient for single mothers so I can see her casually warning a very young Jason away from it as a mom, especially after Elias exits the picture. However, I doubt she’d be obsessively preoccupied with the consensual intimacy of anyone else unless they were two particular counselors named Claudette Hayes and Barry Jackson. I'm not suggesting murder is acceptable, but the only thing the one-woman-army has murderously set herself against is the Christy family... and sadly all who followed them. She only starts on her attacks after:

1. Her son's wrongful death. 2. Claudette and her boyfriend Barry were cleared of all wrongdoing. 3. The Christys, supposedly her "friends", rehired the couple one year later. 4. Ms Voorhees found the couple during an private moment at the camp where #1-3 of the above happened. 5. The Christys kept trying to reopen the camp, and their son Steve was temporarily successful.

After killing Hayes and Jackson in 1958, Pamela mainly contents herself with sabotage afterwards. When the camp was eventually reopened, she chose to take her drastic measures to the next level. Pamela Voorhees was an avenger, not the purity police. She couldn't save her son or stop bullying everywhere, but she could prevent anything from happening at Camp Crystal Lake ever again. Or letting the Christys profit from the place after their show of support towards people who neglect children. Cool motive, still beyond excessive and very wrong.

Getting into headcanon territory: I'd wager Jason's motive for killing people isn't that he's against premarital sex either. Usually, he wants to be left alone and repels trespassers with lethal aggression. The fact that they're also having relations is incidental. However, it is canon that Jason doesn't approve of the act for... personal reasons. Observing animals interacting while living outdoors wouldn't promote a belief in marriage's sanctity. So, given that aversion was likely taught, my theory is that Elias prompted it.

Mr Voorhees believed Pamela cheated on him to produce Jason and berated her for the imagined infidelity. She, in turn, protested her innocence. Jason, as a kid, picked up on the message that sex outside marriage was terrible. Perhaps even worthy of punishment, but that's conjecture too tbh. If true, this wouldn't mean the boy liked Elias or agreed Pamela "deserved" correction. However, kid logic can be weird. It's not contradictory for a child to support his mother and believe sexual activity of that nature is offensive if he recognizes his father was mistaken. If Pamela was innocent, it doesn't disprove the notion. This is Not a very healthy mindset, but Elias wasn't a good role model for children.

Jason was only 11 years old before their separation, and the issue was triggering for his mother. So, it's possible the conversation hadn't meaningfully come up between them beyond the basics like boundaries, what to do if an adult crosses them, anatomical diagrams, what to expect from puberty, and the scientific mechanics of how babies are made. Again, Jason's not really killing people for the high crime of having a sex life, usually other motivations, like people invading his territory, insulting him/his mother, and/or getting in the way between him and a target is at play too. Killing other people is obviously wrong, but the horniness isn't the reason he's doing it. (The sexiness is mostly just present for fan service.)

[shoichee]

Rose-Tinted

Craving for angst with kise please!! Like both are afraid to act on their feelings which ends up hurting the both of them unconsciously. Idk, maybe kise is trying to “test” the girl, but went a bit too far i guess. Whatever floats your boat!! I just want angst but maybe hopefully still HEA in the end (or whichever your muse takes you) ;-; thank youu ❤️

Kise x Reader

Word Count: 6975

Note: oh my GOD, HELP THIS WAS 17 PAGES ON MY GOOGLE DOC I COULDNT STOP MYSELF………. angst, happy ending, fake dating!au, mean old kise ….. girl idk WHAT I WROTE I HOPE YOU ENJOY IT ????? reader POV first half and kise POV second half~

@knb-kreations

»»—————　☼　—————««

He holds you so gently, the touch so feather-light as he cradles your head and dips his own head in for a soft peck. The warmth of his lips makes you feel things you shouldn’t feel, things that you still chased for more in a never-ending cycle. You hold onto his hands thumbing your temples to try to anchor yourself further into the bliss, but it ends all too soon when he separates from you and gives you a radiant smile.

You were rudely pulled out of your rose-tinted trance when you heard gasps and chatter amongst the gawking students nearby, particularly Kise’s fans. He doesn’t pay any mind to their reactions and turns his friendly demeanor towards them.

“So you see everyone,” he cheerfully says. “I’m sorry I can’t accept any of your affections, as much as it flatters me so… after all, I have my dear (y/n)-cchi by my side!”

Groans and cries rung throughout the campus as most wail about missing out the opportunity to be Kise’s romantic partner, but before you can listen to their laments, Kise hurriedly tugs you away to the privacy of the back of a building nearby, away from prying eyes and ears. He drops your wrist just as fast and yawns with a stretch.

“What time should we meet up tomorrow?” he casually says, taking out his phone from his pocket.

“Huh?”

“Well, we can’t exactly sell our image of us being a couple unless we walk to and from school together consistently, right (y/n)?”

The rose-tinted lenses on your self-indulgent fantasy shatters to the ground instantly. You gulp, the swallowed spit hitting down to your stomach in heavy dread, where it was previously occupied by fluttering butterflies just moments prior.

This isn’t real.

“Ah… um,” you hesitated, thinking of a reasonable time, so you can wake up and get ready accordingly. “How about this time…”

“Yeah, that sounds good,” he replies, shutting off his phone before he walks a few steps away from you but then stopping. “Huh, uh… should I walk you home first? There might be some nosy people around, and we might as well get some practice in as an official couple.”

“W-Why don’t we start tomorrow morning instead?” you suggest. “A lot’s happened today, and well, I wanna have some time to myself.” Kise impassively stares at you for a couple of seconds before he forms a grin.

“Ah ha, well then, (y/n)-cchi,” he shouts jovially, making sure that his voice rang throughout the area for anyone nearby to hear. “I’ll be waiting for you tomorrow morning, my love!”

“Y-Yeah…” you mumbled, your hand held up in a half-hearted wave. “See you…”

With that parting, you turned to the opposite direction to exit through the side gates to get to your home. Your mind scrambles to recall the impulsive decisions you decided to take on a whim today. The grip on your bag tightens as you finally realized what sort of situation you got yourself into.

You like Kise, plain and simple. You’ve always gazed longingly at him whenever his presence entered within your line of vision. You couldn’t even fault his fans for being so whipped for the basketball player in the first place, not when you felt like you were more enthralled by him than anyone else. So what does a love-stricken fool like you do when the source of attraction directly asks you to partake in a “relationship?” You immediately accept his conditional proposal on auto-pilot before he barely finishes his sentence.

It felt so wrong, yet so right. How can you hate this arrangement when you enjoyed that first kiss you shared with Kise earlier? But how can you love this arrangement when you knew Kise only kissed you to drive everyone off? You stopped on the sidewalk and heaved a huge exhale, and you continued to walk again, the action not even remotely able to clear your head. Your mind continues to swirl and race.

You agreed to this. He even laid out his intentions very clearly to you, and he was more than ready to leave you alone if you didn’t consent to this. But stupid, desperate you did. You were ashamed to feel even a shred of flattery when he told you that you were the only one he can ask to drive off his fans in this only effective method: a relationship.

“Why me?” you said, looking up at his casual posture. “Don’t you have someone you like to ask to be in a relationship? I’m sure they’d be more than happy to accept you…”

“Well,” he mumbled. “I don’t really have someone in mind… you’re kinda the only one who doesn’t drool over me whenever I’m near, and I just ought to ask for your help.”

“W-Well,” you slightly stammered. “I’m okay with helping you, right, so…”

“This isn’t something to accept so readily, you know,” he said, raising a brow. “I know this is super sudden, and it wouldn’t be fair for me to force an answer out of you right at this moment. Besides, I don’t think there’s any incentive for you to be in this either? It’s okay if you don’t want to.”

“N-No!” you interrupted, but you coughed to regain your composure. “I mean, I do have something in this… maybe if I got with you, people would stop trying to harass and tease me if I had someone like you by my side.” That was a half-truth, but you knew there was no way you could reveal your crush to him… not when he believed you were “different” from the others. But can anyone blame you for sticking up for Kise when someone was talking about him like a piece of meat rather than a normal person? “Besides, for you to get to this point, things must’ve gotten too chaotic to simply tell them to stop, right?”

“Huh… is that so,” he said, stretching his neck, but you didn’t know whether or not he intentionally ignored your last question. “Well, if you’re fine with this, I’m letting you know now that we’ll be doing actual couple stuff, like…” He pauses for a second to gauge your reaction. “Hugging, hand-holding… probably kissing too…”

“Y-Yeah,” you nodded. “That’s fine with me! And we’ll have a code word in case either of us overstep our boundaries in any way… maybe…”

“Unagi,” he said.

“Huh? Why?”

“Because they’re the bane of evil…”

“It’s just a dish, but…” you laughed, giddy at how he already showed a different side to you apart from his cool persona. “Alright, let’s go with that.”

How long were you able to keep this up? You pat yourself on the cheeks to dismiss the rest of your fantasies. If you keep this up, Kise will soon notice how you actually were head-over-heels for him all this time, and surely you’ll lose any future chance with him. Besides, maybe you can use this unique arrangement to learn about Kise and his hobbies other than basketball. Yes, you tell yourself, jogging the rest of the way home. It won’t be so bad, after all.

———

Starting today, you’ll be officially dating Kise.

That’s how it is on paper, anyways.

How are you supposed to act while dating the Kise Ryōta? Equally cool and flamboyant? Athletically capable? Would you weird out Kise if you were the one initiating physical affection?

“(y/n)!”

You flinch, not expecting anyone to call for you so early in the morning, and your walking route to school was never shared with another student as far as you were concerned. After all, your path was a little more obscured and unorthodox compared to the majority of students traversing the main neighborhood paths.

“Sorry… did I scare you?” You stop and turn to the source of the voice, only to be surprised when you see Kise himself. “Why do you look so surprised? Didn’t we agree on the time to meet up and walk to school together?”

“Oh… yeah…” In the midst of your thoughts, it seems that you forgot the arrangements you made with him yesterday evening. “My bad?”

“Oh, come on,” he gives a mock-hurt face with a hand to his chest. “Am I that forgettable, (y/n)?”

“N-No!” you immediately deny. You knew it was more like the other way around, the way constant thoughts of Kise preoccupy in your head too much. How can you ever forget him when he constantly runs through your mind everyday for so long? Kise merely gives a good-natured sigh before he changes the subject.

“Kidding,” he says, holding out a hand to you. “Seriously though, get your act together. We gotta start acting the part if we want this to work.” You stare at his hand, hesitating for a split moment before you put your own hand on top. His large hand easily encompasses yours, and the warmth makes you widen your eyes. It… felt nice.

You were so entranced by your linked hands that you failed to notice how Kise was staring at your face with a sharp glint in his eyes, but when you look up back to his face, he easily morphs his expression into his signature grin. He swings your hands around like an excited kid and turns to walk ahead to tug you along.

“Alrighty!~ Let’s hurry together before I get chewed out by Kasamatsu-senpai!”

“Kise, have you ever considered that it’s not really your tardiness that gets the captain mad but more so about the way you seem to irritate him with the way you skip around?”

“(y/n),” he says with a pout, “you know you’re not being convincing when you use my last name to address me as your boyfriend.”

“R-Right,” you stammer, still not used to the entire situation. “Ah… wait. Don’t you uh… call people who are close to you with -cchi?”

“Huh…” he mumbles, looking up at the cloudy sky before looking ahead of the path. “Not necessarily people who are close, just people who I really admire. I guess I addressed you like that yesterday without really thinking.”

“U-Uh, right… sorry.” He stops walking with your hand still in tow, and you almost bumped into his back at his sudden movement. He turns to you with a quite serious look.

“Do you want me to call you that?”

It was a normal question, but for some reason it felt like the next sentence coming from your mouth would make a huge impact on the way the two of you would interact in the future. From the way Kise looks at you with such a scrutinizing gaze, it feels like a trick question, and you’re not sure how to answer it. Your mouth goes dry when you try to reply.

“I… I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?” Kise’s eyes widen a fraction before he gives an unexpected chortle. “Pfft… how do you not know what you want to be addressed as?”

“Arrgh, oh shut it!” you frown, hitting his arm in a fluster before stalking off ahead. You remember that you were supposed to go to school together, and you begrudgingly stop and turn back to wait for him to catch up. “Ryōta, just call me whatever you want. You’re already calling me by my first name, so I doubt anyone would care if you added -cchi or not.” Still, your cheeks turn pink at the realization that Kise would be uttering your first name for the next couple… whenever this relationship will last.

“You… wait up!” Kise wheezes dramatically, despite the both of you knowing full well how easily he can catch up to your stride. “You really shouldn’t be treating your boyfriend like that! Especially on the first day!” Kise holds your hand again to lead you to the rest of the way to school.

All the while, you’ve been staring at his back, your heartstrings being tugged so mercilessly at the cacophony of emotions you were feeling the whole time. He felt so warm, so inviting, but the way he held your hands felt cold and transactional.

———

You’re not sure how to react whenever Kise introduced himself as your “boyfriend” to everyone or whenever nosy students inquired about your new “boyfriend.” All you could do was gulp and manage the most convincing act you could do within different contexts. Smile, laugh, get bashful, be modest in talking about how Kise managed to “like” you, pretend you know many embarrassing stories and sides to him that no one else did. Truthfully, you were just as in the dark as anybody else.

You think the only reason why everyone bought the couple-act was due to how enamored you were in talking about him. This was the only response you could be truthful about. At least you could use your huge crush to your advantage in portraying yourself as the “lovey-dovey” half of the couple. Yet it feels unbelievably wrong.

You knew you had to prepare yourself some preset answers for curious students, but you didn’t expect yourself to be participating in neverending “interviews” in these social settings. You thought this relationship would entail a closer access to Kise’s true self, but things suggest otherwise.

“Ryōta,” you say, peering up at his face as the both of you walk down the hallway to your designated spot for lunch together. Even as you two walk, he puts a reasonable distance between the two of you when there is no one in close proximity. Even when you two are together, he only grabs your hand when it’s socially convenient. Even when Kise approaches you to talk, you know it’s never anything beyond for the sake of acting. And you agreed to this entire thing.

“Hm?” He spares a glance to your figure before returning his gaze ahead.

“Uh, I brought extra food today,” you say, trying to use this situation to try to express your genuine feelings to him in small increments. “I brought an extra bento box too… in case, you don’t wanna actually share one…” He was about to reply before a pair of students turned around the corner to head towards your direction. Kise narrows his eyes at the unexpected turn of events, and immediately turns to you brightly.

“(y/n)! You really thought that I wouldn’t like the idea?” he pouts. “Of course I wanna share a bento with you! Silly…” He slightly bends to your level to place a chaste peck on your forehead.

“Ah…” you freeze at his soft touch, your legs stiff in place as you stop walking. Kise, in response, moves his lips to your ears, and you slightly shiver at the unexpected intimacy… it was the closest he’s gotten to you ever since that public stunt when he kissed you in front of everyone the other day.

“Hey, don’t just stand there… you can’t overreact like this over something couples do everyday.” You bit your lip in an attempt to stop your heart from sinking from disappointment, but in turning your face to him to spill an apology, your face ended up right in front of his. Your eyes widen but he only stares at you with such an intensity that makes you hold your breath in anticipation.

But he immediately draws away and stretches with a yawn. “Looks like those people left right after they thought they intruded on a private moment between us,” he says. “Sheesh, people really do the most to be so nosy nowadays.” You wonder how he can be so casual about this all. Perhaps it was a mistake to be here like this when you were so in love with him, overthinking every single thing he did.

Why didn’t he kiss you this time? Did he not find you the teensiest attractive enough to want to kiss you even without an audience nearby?

“Come on,” he mumbles, waving a hand through your face. “Quit making that face. I won’t be doing that to you without warning anytime soon. My bad, okay?” Kise sheepishly holds out a hand for a handshake to make peace, and you wordlessly take his hand. One day, you’ll stop being his special someone to savor his warmth…

No, you thought, you’re an idiot… he’s never considered you as someone special.

You debated in telling him that you were fine with him kissing you, but you hold your tongue, afraid that he’ll realize your true feelings about him. Besides, were you really okay with him kissing you when he didn’t reciprocate the same feelings?

“It… wasn’t like what you think,” you hesitate. “It just caught me off guard.”

“Well,” he laughs. “That’s a relief! By the way…” He stops to settle himself on the bench. “What’s exactly your lunch? Since you went through the effort to bring extras, I guess I’ll eat them.”

“I packed salmon from leftovers I had from home,” you reply, taking out your bento box and utensils. You decide to shake off your negative thoughts and shove them to the back of your mind. He makes a horrified face at the lunchbox. “Kise, what’s wrong?”

“Do you… happen to have anything else packed?”

“Rice?”

“Well,” he coughs. “I’m not a fan of dishes with boned fish.”

“Didn’t you say you hated unagi too?” Kise shyly averts his gaze before he reluctantly confirms it so. “They’re delicious though! Especially when they’re grilled!” At first, he refused to answer, but the more you tried to poke and prod (literally too, at his ribs), he finally gave in.

“Alright, alright! But I swear, you better not tell anyone!… I choked on a fish bone one time…”

“… And?”

“And yeah.”

“You choked on a bone once and you got scared out of eating fish—”

“Shhhh!” he hushes, emphasizing his hiss with a finger to his lips. At this very moment, you saw a glimpse into who Kise really is, and you can’t help but bust out a genuine, carefree laugh for the first time in front of him. In embarrassment, he bonks your head with his fist to get you to stop laughing, but it only makes you more conscious of how close he is to you.

But just as quickly and telepathically, Kise puts some distance between the two of you, sitting closer to the edge of the bench. He opts to hunch over casually and keenly watch you scarf down your meal in minutes without a care.

You wonder if you should feel guilty for enjoying this moment with Kise, even if he was only waiting with you out of obligation of being your “boyfriend,” but right now, you allowed yourself to indulge, letting your heart beat sporadically without guilt and fear for once. You continue to savor your lunch in silence, concentrating on munching around the fish bones, while Kise sat in contemplation all the while.

———

“You should come watch our practice game today, (y/n).”

“Eh?”

You tilt your head at him in confusion. It’s been two weeks since you started this arrangement with him, but nothing extraordinary or groundbreaking happened between the two of you, much to your despondency. But you knew, you shouldn’t be asking for too much when you already have the once-in-a-lifetime chance to be close to him like this.

“There’s going to be a lot of people coming,” he explains. “Even if it’s just a practice game… it’d be weird if you weren’t there, because, you know, we’re dating.”

“I don’t mind going,” you reply. “It sounds fun.”

“You know, you’ve been agreeing to everything I’ve been suggesting the entire time,” he mumbles to himself, but he zips his mouth shut when he sees you instinctively moving closer to try to catch what he said. “Uh, in any case… just stop by the gym whenever you can.”

So here you are a few hours later, being the first person to settle yourself on top of the 2nd floor of the gym. You rest your arms on the railway, fascinated by the Kaijō basketball team and their skills. As they warm up on the courts, it’s the first time you see Kise truly at ease and happy with the people he cares about, and your heart pangs in jealousy seeing his genuine smile. You were pulled out of your thoughts when you realized the gym became completely crowded, the constant chattering announcing huge crowds along the entrance and the lucky watchers at the 2nd floor with you.

You didn’t mind the onlookers when all you were focused on was Kise throughout the entire game with a smitten look, and you weren’t surprised when his team easily won against the other local school.

“That’s Kise isn’t it?” You were about to turn to leave the higher floor to wait outside the gym when you heard his name. You stop to eavesdrop on the conversation next to you.

“Yeah, I’ve been hearing about him way too much. Something about him dating now?”

“He’s dating (l/n) right now, which is super weird because they never even talked… and all of the sudden, they’re dating? I didn’t think of him to be into short-term flings.”

“You think he’s using (l/n) in some way? What an asshole.”

“Yikes. You’re probably not even that far off the bulls-eye. He’s a really heartless guy, from what I’ve heard.”

“Hey,” you interrupt, scaring the two girls out of their wits before they turn to you. “I don’t think you should talk about Kise like that when all you know of him is through speculation.”

“Ugh, here we go again with his fans…” one of them groans, rolling her eyes. “Look, I get it, he’s good-looking and all, but I don’t understand how you can defend him to death when he doesn’t even spare a glance at you… ah… shit, you’re (l/n)?” A flash of hurt was visible on your face for a split second before you frowned. Their words unintentionally hit the nail in the coffin.

“Whether I’m (l/n) or not doesn’t really matter,” you say angrily. “Gossiping about anyone like that isn’t something you should make a habit out of.”

“Jeez, let’s just leave,” the other girl whispers, dragging the first girl along.

You simply stand there watching them leave, but you can’t shake off what they said. They were right… how could you be so whipped for him when you know he’ll never see you the same way?

“Oy!”

Kise’s voice brings you back to your consciousness as he waves at you from the court. “You’ve been standing there for a while! Hurry up, or I’ll leave you behind, (y/n)-cchi!”

“Coming!” You race from the 2nd floor to the ground level to catch up to him, your heart pounding all the while. Did he… did he just…?

You shake your head before you reunite with him to walk home together. Stop it… don’t overthink it.

———

Kise waits at his usual spot to wait for you before walking to school together. It’s been three weeks since he’s approached you to “date.” He’s grown quite comfortable with this arrangement, being close to you and backing off when it’s convenient. After all, if you somehow showed a gruesome true self of yours, he’d be able to separate himself from you with no consequences… even if his heart would cry out not to.

“Ryōta!” There you are, running down the path towards him so cheerfully. Could you really be an awful person when you have such a pure smile like that?

“Ah, (y/n)-cchi,” he says. “We should hurry if we wanna be inside campus. It’s a little chilly today, so being indoors sounds really nice right now.” He peers over to your face to see your nose slightly red from the cold, and he huffs out a chuckle, noting the warm puff of air escaping from his own lips.

“I guess it’s a little cold today,” you say, looking up at Kise with a slight childish wonder. “Hey, that’s a pretty cool cloud that you puffed out.”

“You have some clouds around you too.” He gently smiles, and he notes that your eyes widen at the sight of him. “Wha? Is my face that horrific, (y/n)-cchi?” You avert your gaze as your cheeks grow just as red as your nose.

“Nah… i-it’s nothing…ah—” He holds your cheeks to turn your face back to him, and he draws near with a serious gaze, bumping his forehead against yours.

“You’re actually really cold…”

“Uh, um… I don’t think I’m c-cold anymore—” you stammer, your eyes darting to look everywhere but his face, and Kise’s eyes only scrutinize your behavior further.

“Hm, if you say so…” he mumbles. Your eyes flutter close at the anticipation, and he feels the pull towards your lips, closing his own lids shut…

Wait, what was he thinking? He snaps his lids open and slightly draws himself away to look at you, still vulnerable with your closed eyes. It’s only when he drops his hands from your cheeks and turns to walk ahead when you flutter your eyes open again. Don’t let your feelings for (y/n) blind you into figuring out who they really are.

“Come on,” Kise calls out to you. “We should get going… we don’t wanna be late.” Besides, what if there’s a possibility that you don’t really like him at all?

“Y-Yeah…”

The rest of the walk was in silence, with Kise slightly ahead of you. Perhaps if he turned around at least once to check on you, he would’ve seen the consequences of his actions.

You were silently crying the entire walk.

———

Nothing seems to change much for the entire month. The way the two of you dance and sway around each other, while never being too close, never being too affectionate, never being completely honest. In this shared rose-tinted world, the frail glass that holds these moments together threatens to break with every fickle interaction. Every shared kiss constitutes another small crack to the rose-tinted crystal.

And both of you are content with just the way things are.

Or that’s what you both mutter to yourselves like a mantra.

“Ryōta!” you call out to him. “Did you wait long?”

“Not really,” he says. “I just barely got out too… the teacher was really lenient on dismissal today, actually.” His heart swells at the sight of you as usual, but just as quickly, he’s always managed to quash his emotions in check.

For the first time, you initiate physical touch with him without hesitation, linking your hands with his and snuggling up to him. He flinches, not fast enough to process the sudden warmth of your body, and he immediately separates himself from you. Do you actually like him after all?… No, something is up, right?

“Ryōta…?” You flinch just as severely from the sudden reaction, and he turns to avoid looking at your face, knowing that his resolve would crumble right in front of you. He’s a coward, and he fucking knows it.

“S-Sorry, (y/n)-cchi! I don’t know what came over me like that, but you know you don’t have to force yourself to do things like that, right? There’s no one here, so let’s just walk home together like we always do, yeah?”

He turns to already walk ahead, too afraid of hearing your response and hoping you would follow and catch up to him… like you always do.

You simply stood there for a few moments, anguish clear as the sky above you as you keep telling yourself to manage your own expectations. Still, your voice croaks out quietly to respond to him, even if you knew he wasn’t going to hear it.

“… But I wanted to do these things with you, Ryōta.”

———

It’s been several days since that incident.

It was very awkward for the most part, the walks to and from school silent and suffocating. He’s not quite sure how to go about it while trying not to sound disingenuous about it. Nonetheless, even through his quiet apology, your face still lights up, and he’s confused about why you would ever be so forgiving of him.

Although today, lines have been crossed and this shared secretive world between the two of you have completely shattered to the point of no return.

It was quite a blur, an instinct that Kise has developed over the course of this relationship. Every time a group of students drew near, he was always ready to tug you close for a kiss until they left and carry on with their day. Today was usually no exception.

Another group of students was hanging around the corner, presumably spying on you two, and Kise did what he’s always done, grabbing your hand and embracing you for a kiss. Your eyes were blown open in surprise, but when you saw Kise’s eyes elsewhere, something finally snapped inside.

You push him away at his chest.

“U-Unagi… unagi…” Your voice trembles, and you use your arms to cover up the fresh tears. The code word sounds unbelievably stupid out of context, but at this moment, the word alone stabs Kise in his chest. “I-I… just stop… please.” Kise stares dumbly at you, processing the fact that you just used the agreed safe word against him.

“… (y/n)-cchi?” Kise asks with a confused smile. “You’ve never objected to kissing before… I’ve even told you what we’ll be doing if you agreed to this…?”

“How…” you choke on tears. “H-How can you kiss me like that while your eyes are on someone else…?”

“I don’t understand—”

“A-Am I that atrocious to kiss unless you stare at something else or there’s some convenience?”

“I don’t get it, (y/n)-cchi,” he frowns. “Did you expect more out of this or am I missing something?”

“There was no reason to kiss me like that,” you softly wail. “Everyone already knows we’re a thing for… o-over a month now. There’s no reason to kiss me around people anymore when they won’t suspect us anyways…”

“So you don’t want me to kiss you anymore?” Kise’s heart sinks in thinking about where this is going.

“No!—you don’t… you don’t fucking get it! I don’t get it—! Why are we doing this anymore—I just, I see no reason to continue this anymore… you already shooed off your fans, right? Why haven’t you ended this?!”

“(y/n)-cchi—I…” He reaches out for you, but you immediately recoil.

“No—please… no more, I can’t do this anymore!” you sniffle. “I can’t fucking do this… I’m done, I’m tired—please… just look for another person to take my place… I… I’m done—I can’t pretend with you anymore when I always expect more out of it like a love-stricken fool!”

“I…”

“Look—see,” you choke. “I’m just like everyone else who’s in love with you, I’m no different than everyone else R-Ryōta… so that’s why, I-I… can’t do this anymore!”

Kise stands there, staring at you running away from him. It was like everything had gone silent, save for the sound of his blood pounding in his ears.

“You think he’s using (l/n) in some way? What an asshole.”

“Yikes. You’re probably not even that far off the bulls-eye. He’s a really heartless guy, from what I’ve heard.”

He hated rumors, he really did… but for the first time, he feels like he deserves every word thrown at him around the hallways and classrooms. His memory flits to the time when he felt warm from seeing you standing up for him, even if he wasn’t bothered by them before. Now, the warmth is replaced by agonizing regret and guilt wracking through his entire body. His hands feel cold with you gone from his side.

What has he done?

———

He’s grown quiet for the next week.

It’s been a week since you ran from him, and it’s been a week since he last talked to you.

Even his teammates were concerned about his reserved behavior, but just as always, he’s managed to shoot them a convincing smile. Kasamatsu was more persistent about this but eventually dropped it seeing Kise’s refusal to talk about it.

That day when you pushed him away, he couldn’t sleep, his thoughts keeping him awake the entire night. He resolved himself to talk to you the next day… but he changed his mind the last minute… and then he told himself he’d do it the next day… and then he changed his mind again.

He tells himself that it’s because you rightfully hate him, with the way you’d surround yourself with other crowds and groups to prevent him from walking up to you when you were alone. He tells himself that it’s because both you and him needed space to cool off and go back to the way you two were. He refuses to tell himself that it’s because he’s an honest-to-god coward.

He misses you. He misses you damn badly. Why the fuck did he go through such lengths instead of confessing to you straight up? He tells himself that he was being cautious. He tells himself that he doesn’t want his heart to be broken again. He refuses to conclude that it’s because he’s a fucking coward.

“I don’t know what’s been on your mind, idiot,” Kasamatsu says. “But you better solve this yourself quickly if you’re not opening up to me about this. We can’t have your performance quality be dropping even in practice. Hurry up and fix this shit with (l/n)-san already.”

“H-How’d you know?!” Kise raises his head from his desk in astonishment.

“Tch, idiot,” he glowers, chopping Kise’s head with a swift hand. “It’s too obvious from the way you’re moping around… from the way you two stuck together all this time, who wouldn’t notice something happened from the way you’re at your desk watching (l/n)-san like that?”

“O-Ow…” Kise grumbles rubbing his head. Ironically, his captain’s hit cleared up his doubts and he took a deep breath before exhaling. “Got it, senpai.”

“You better.” Kasamatsu goes back to talking to his classmates during break, and even despite not knowing the truth of the relationship, he manages to give solid advice as usual.

Tomorrow. He’ll find you tomorrow.

———

He doesn’t know where else to find you alone other than the place he’s always waited for you before you two used to walk to school together. So he stands there, almost an hour earlier in case you had the idea to walk to school extremely early to avoid him at all costs.

He was right.

Here you are, shuffling your feet as you trudged yourself along the path and looking down at your feet. You even manage to walk past by him without noticing his presence.

Even if you’ve grown to hate him, he’s willed himself to come completely clean about his feelings to you for once. But a part of him is thinking to change his mind again and just let you slip away from his fingers. It’d spare the both of you the inevitable, right?

“R-Ryōta…?”

He was pulled from his thoughts, startled to see you staring at him from a short distance away. Apparently you did notice him after all.

“… (y/n)-cchi…” He swallows his words, knowing full well that his stupid words might blow this up for him again, his words responsible for all the rumors at school, his words responsible for hurting you and will hurt you again.

He wordlessly walks up to you and holds your cheek, and waits. He waits for you to push him away again. He waits for you to say the code word to let him know that you don’t want him near you again. The thought of you running away from him nearly brings him to tears, but he gulps his emotions down and stares at you calmly, with only his upturned brows hinting to his inner turmoil.

“Ryō—”

He swiftly brings his head down and kisses you. In feeling the warmth for the first time in a while, he greedily drinks from your lips, holding your temples more firmly as he searches for more, more, more.

You push him away.

Kise immediately lets go and stares at you like a lost child, unable to mask the devastation from the implications of your actions. But you’re still gripping his uniform tightly, almost as if you didn’t want to let go.

“W-Why…?” you croak, biting your lips to stop any tears from breaking through. “There’s no reason to kiss me. Don’t you know that we’re done? There’s no one to watch us here, no reason for you to walk me to school anymore. You know that, Ryōta. After all, we haven’t talked since a week ago, and you have the audacity to come here and kiss me like everything is okay—”

“… I want to kiss you, because there’s no one around, because there’s no other reason for me to.”

“Why…?” your voice softens to a whisper. “Don’t you hate anyone who likes you in that way? I… I already told you that I see you in that light, like many of your fans do. Don’t you hate me? Don’t you hate me for using this arrangement to get closer to you? Don’t you hate me for expecting something real out of this?”

“I already had an inkling of suspicion that you liked me, (y/n)-cchi,” Kise turns away to look at the bright morning sky. “I just didn’t know if I was wrong or not.”

“Then… why did you ask me to do this whole thing with you…?”

“Because I’m a coward,” he says, looking back to you. You were stunned into silence. For the first time, he finally admits what’s been weighing on his mind for weeks out loud, and his eyes, while drenched in shame, were full of resoluteness. “I liked you, but I was too afraid for the day when you ended up being not like the person I ended up liking. I liked you, but I was afraid of a real relationship that would tie me down. I liked you, but I was afraid of making huge decisions that involved another person into my life. I didn’t want to end the fake relationship because I was too fucking selfish… if I ended it, I’d lose the only connection I had with you… I’m sorry.”

Both of you went silent, bathed in the light of the rising sun. Kise drops to a squat to hide his face from you, and you knew he was trying to stop himself from tearing up. He knows how uncool he looks, but he had no right to cry when you were the one who got hurt the most.

“Ryōta, did you really find it difficult to kiss me…? Just… be honest.”

“Yes,” he looks up from his squat to stare at you with an intense look, even despite his puffy eyes. “Everytime I kissed you, I found it hard to control myself. I thought, what if you were using me to somehow get a kiss from me? or what if I couldn’t stop myself from kissing you and I ended up taking things too far? Looking anywhere but you at least stopped me from getting too invested…”

By now, both of you had turned completely red at his honesty, but he still found you frankly stunning even with your red, puffy eyes. “Look, (y/n)-cchi, don’t you hate me? I used you. The rumors are right—I’m a complete asshole. Just… I won’t blame you if you walk away right now.”

“You do know that I used this opportunity to get closer to you, right?… I wasn’t a saint about this either, so… I’m sorry too.” Both of you go silent again, and you slowly drop yourself to his level in a squat of your own in front of him.

“… C-Can we… can we start over?” you whisper, your warm breath tickling his chilled nose.

“(y/n)-cchi, I don’t think I’m capable of continuing this arrangement…”

“No,” you huff, before you tentatively press a chaste kiss to his lips. “I mean… can we… start over, but this time, as a real couple? I… want this relationship to be substantial. I really do like you, Ryōta.” You murmur against his lips with your hands on top of your knees, waiting for him to rebuke you away with an easygoing comment or a plastered smile.

But he doesn’t do any of that.

“I… guess we can try that,” Kise mumbles, gaze averted as his cheeks flame brighter than his nose and ears.

“Can you kiss me again?” you ask, your voice cracking at the end out of fear he’d turn down your request. Kise flicks his gaze back to you to see you equally red with a hesitant expression.

“Could you… close your eyes?” he asks with a frown.

“H-Huh?”

“Y-You don’t need to see me looking like a mess, I don’t look charming right now.”

“I… guess…” After a few moments of hesitation, you flutter your eyes shut, waiting apprehensively for his lips to descend onto yours again. Kise holds your cheeks and takes the time to admire your features for the first time, and his smile grows wider with every passing second.

‘R-Ryōta…?” Afraid of the fact that he actually may not like kissing you after all, you worriedly open your eyes, only to be greeted by the most brilliant smile from Kise, his figure illuminated by the sunshine hitting the back of his head at the perfect angle.

“(y/n)-cchi,” he teases with a small pout. “Didn’t I tell you to close your eyes?”

Who needs a rose-tinted lens when the sight before you is already so radiant to behold?

[thankskenpenders]

So there’s been a lot of buzz about the big leak about Sega’s upcoming plans for Sonic. The source is allegedly credible, but even credible leakers can get stuff wrong, so as always take all this with a HUGE grain of salt. (Some of this is also just stuff that isn’t that hard to guess based on the trajectory of the series recently.) I’ve been asked about it, so here are my thoughts

The big thing here that people seem to be talking about (aside from details on games that may or may not be in development) is that Sega wants to shift focus entirely towards Modern Sonic. (Although, remember, we’re literally getting some Classic Sonic stuff from IDW this year. We’re talking about the games here.) Now, I love me some Classic Sonic content. Mania is easily in my top 3 Sonic games, maybe even my absolute favorite, and it saddens me that the team has gone their separate ways instead of being kept on by Sega to make a sequel. Sonic Mania Adventures, Sonic Mega Drive? Phenomenal stuff. BUT... well, if they play their cards right, I think this is a smart move

Tyson Hesse also recently expressed his opinion that the hard divide between Classic and Modern Sonic is hurting the franchise, and I kind of agree. Everybody loves Mania (again, myself included--I bought it twice), but Mania didn’t do much to solve the core problem of Sonic’s reputation. If anything, it being the best reviewed Sonic game in years (and being followed up by the mediocre Forces) just kind of proved all the naysayers right. The best Sonic game in years was the one that ignored everything made after 1997, and the 3D game that followed it Just Didn’t Get It. (To be blatantly clear, I am not accusing the Mania devs of trying to tank peoples’ opinions of the rest of the franchise or anything absurd like that.)

Continuing to divide the attention of the games between two Sonics risks exacerbating this. People will be validated in viewing the Classic stuff as “the REAL Sonic” while the Modern stuff is just seen as that weird thing Sonic morphed into, when in reality the Modern stuff has been the heart of the franchise for the vast majority of its life at this point. There didn’t even used to be a harsh divide between Classic Sonic and Modern Sonic as separate entities! The divide between the two is way less clear cut than many will tell you, especially if you look back at stuff like Adventure, Advance, and Heroes that were still clearly drawing heavily on the Classic material. Back then, Sonic was just Sonic--he just happened to get a slightly different coat of paint in 1998. You could have SA2′s Sonic running around in Green Hill or Sonic Advance’s Sonic fighting the Eggmobile with the wrecking ball. It was no big deal

Classic Sonic is also, by its definition, a time capsule. It has to be how people remember Sega’s Sonic being in the early ‘90s. They can’t experiment too much with it or add too many new elements or you’ll upset people. Add another ally to the cast and you’ll rile up the “Sonic has too many friends” crowd. Change the gameplay and people will say it’s worse. Give Classic Sonic a voice and people will just say he should be mute. There’s room to do great stuff within the boundaries defined by the old school media, as we’ve seen, but you can only take that so far

(And hell, even if Sega’s going for nostalgia bait, take a quick look at the fandom and you’ll see a HUGE amount of nostalgia for the Adventure and Advance games. I, myself, am a 27-year-old who grew up playing those games religiously, and I know a lot of y’all reading this are in the same boat)

I mean, look at something like Mario. Nintendo hasn’t buried the classic Mario games at all--but at the same time, you also don’t see them splitting Red Overalls Mario off into a different entity to please old school purists. Mario is just Mario, and people like Mario, because Mario platformers are consistently good regardless of style. Like Tyson said in that forum thread: “The goal should be to just make Modern stuff good enough that people don't need to reminisce anymore.” Hopefully, this is what Sega’s trying to do. Not dividing the series in two so they can please old school fans while having no idea what to do with the mainline games, but rather just trying to make the new 3D entries something they can really be proud of as their flagship titles

So, TL;DR: I wish we were getting Sonic Mania 2, but if this is all true and Sonic Team wants to try harder to put out good content with the modern cast in both 2D and 3D then I am 1000% down for that. There is so very much to love in the world of Modern Sonic, as anyone reading the IDW comics knows, and I want the games to reflect that potential more consistently

(Also if this is accurate then I’m happy to hear that they’re moving away from the boost formula. I’ve had a lot of fun with the boost formula games, but Forces made it blatantly clear that they didn’t know what else to do with it)

[smallraindrops-blog]

A Road To Somewhere.

For prompt: road trip

Hypnos/male!reader

Thanatos/Zagreus/Meg in the background.

5.7k total, link to part two at the end.

Warnings: some sexual stuff are talked about but the most that happens is kissing and cuddling. Jokes about cannibalism as well. Alcohol uses. No beta.

Summary: Why talk about your feelings with your childhood best friend when you can just go on a road trip?

A/N: sorry for going silent, I was dealing with some medical issues on top of helping my partner with stuff.

To the Anon who requested this, I'm sorry about the wait, I hope you like this and feel free to always hit me for another request!

At three in the morning, your phone rang. 

You groaned as you rolled across your bed. and you squinted at the brightness of your phone. 

Hypnos' photo flashed on the screen, the one where he stole your letterman jacket to nap in on the school bus that Zagreus had sent it to you. And if you kept the photo five years after high school, well that is your business and nobody else's.

You hesitated, not sure you want to talk to him right now. After that night, the only thing you and Hypnos traded was polite, almost cold texts. not your usual meme or lazy chatting about whatever. But something about the picture of Hypnos' sleeping face pushed you to respond. 

You swiped the green button.

"You are coming with me." Hypnos said, or rather slurred.

You covered your face,"Hypnos, dude. Are you drunk right now?"

"You- you said you have never seen the ocean right?" Hypnos asked, ignoring your question.

"Where are you? I am coming to get you." You turned on your lamp, looking for a pair of jeans to wear.

"No- no." Hypnos said firmly and very drunkenly. "Y/N, dude. I'm fine. I'm at my shitty apartment." Hypnos paused, "You know, the one where my brother hooked up with Meg. And Zagreus. At the same time. Which is really effing weird for me."

"I - Hypnos-" you tried to think of what to say. The said incident happened over a little month ago and Hypnos had the misfortune of walking in at the wrong time. Which of course because Hypnos got his heart broken by Meg lead up to Hypnos trying to hook up with you to get over her.

"Look, you always said you wanted to see the ocean right?" Hypnos yawned, which you took as a good sign. Hopefully it means your dumb best friend will pass out soon and not ruin his liver for rest of the day.

"Yeah, what of it?" You asked, frustrated at Hypnos for doing this to himself and to you.

"Road trip!" Hypnos dragged out the words with a laugh. "I will be picking you up tomorrow. Love you bestie."

"Hypnos wait no, we can't just leave." You said. You waited for a response, "Hypnos?" You asked worriedly.

A snore came through the phone and you sighed. You turned off the lamp and laid back down, listening to Hypnos' deep breathing.

You stared at the ceiling, and tried not to think about the last time Hypnos got this drunk. Or about that night or how Hypnos acted like nothing happened the next day.

You rolled over to face your phone and closed your eyes.

You will just stay on the line in case Hypnos wakes up.

💤

"You can't be serious, Hypnos." You said as he went through your clothes, uncaring of any boundaries you may have.

But honestly with Hypnos, you had long lost any boundaries. You knew you should actually try to enforce some but you craved just being near him.

"I am! I need to get away for a bit and you told me you were taking a week off right? And it starts today or last night technically." Hypnos held up a lime green shirt and made a face at it.

"Yes for a staycation, I don't have extra money for a motel or anything like that." You replied, and took the shirt away to place it back on its hanger.

"It's my treat, Y/N." Hypnos leaned on you, his head on your shoulder. You tried not to notice how warm he was against you or his big golden puppy dog eyes. "Come on, a free trip away with your best friend aka me aka the best thing ever with your favorite person ever-" Hypnos rambled.

"Fine, only because you said you will pay for everything." You sighed, You hated how hard it was to say no to him.

Hypnos cheered and pulled you into a bear hug. You savored the warmth despite not wanting to.

You just needed a vacation too. To clear your head. And who knows, you and Hypnos could finally get back to being normal.

💤

Hypnos was in the driver's seat as you closed the truck and joined him in the car. A pen dangled from his teeth as his golden eyes flicked across the map. He glanced at you as you strapped in.

"It will be a two days drive if we only stop when we need to. That gives us three days at the beach or wherever else we end up doing." Hypnos took the pen out and marked a couple spots on the map.

"Couldn't we just use our phone GPS?" You asked.

"Nope, the place I'm taking you isn't a normal public beach and we have to drive through some mountains and mountains always win over gps." Hypnos pointed the pen at you. "Always." He said in a mock doom voice.

You rolled your eyes, and with a finger pushed the pen out your face. "Alright but if we get lost in the mountains. I call first dibs on eating you."

"Ha, jokes on you, bestie. I got almost no tender fat on me. So enjoy gnawing on my worthless bones." Hypnos crackled as he started the car. He tossed the map in your lab and peeled out of the driveway.

His deft fingers quickly found some music as Tom Petty sang through the radio.

Hypnos sang along badly. You covered up your smile, it feel good just near him again even if you didn't want to admit it.

Within minutes, Hypnos had weaved into the midmorning traffic. But even with the traffic, you already feel a little lighter.

💤

The first day of the drive went surprisingly well, even with traffic for the first hour. The skies were a vivid blue with fat, lazy clouds that casted shadows across the land.

Hypnos had the windows rolled down, one arm out of the window and music blasting. His shades should have made him look like a frat boy but you actually liked how they looked with his messy white curls and dark red shirt.

You kept your mouth shut and just watched the landscape change from suburbia to the fields dotted with cows and horses.

It was the most peace you had felt in a long while even with the elephant in between you and Hypnos.

It wasn't until twilight had followed you to the motel that the problems started.

"Is that a permanently closed sign?" Hypnos asked flatly, his shades resting on his head.

You nodded, "I had a feeling the trip started a little too well."

You and Hypnos both stared at the sign, the red and white words mocked you.

"I knew google was lying to me." Hypnos murmured.

"We can just sleep in the car, Hypnos." You followed him as he turned back. "We probably shouldn't drive anymore tonight."

Hypnos shook his head, "Nope, we would get murder so fast." He snapped his fingers to make his point. He threw an arm around your shoulders and guided you back to the car. "Come on, I bet there's another place just up ahead."

"And if there is not?" You asked, noticing how easily you fit next to him.

"There will be." Hypnos said confidently.

At your doubtful look, he said cheerfully,

"Or we could just get murder in a much nicer area."

💤

It was almost an hour before you saw the faint vacancy light just peeking behind the trees.

You gasped, "There! Do you see it?"

"Yeah, I see it." Hypnos replied, perking up. The rundown motel looked like someone's idea of what an old western inn looked like without actually never seeing one before.

But after driving for an extra hour and half, it looked like heaven.

Hypnos pulled up in the first empty spot he found which was plenty of.

"Stay here, keep an eye on the car. Don't get murdered." Hypnos said as he locked the car up. He only looked back once as he entered the building.

You slumped in your seat, exhaustion overtaken you. Your phone buzzed in your hand, Zagreus's name popped up.

'Is Hypnos with you??'

You stared down at the text, why is Zagreus asking you?

'Yeah, why?' you replied.

Immediately, Zagreus responded.

'He hasn't responded to any of our texts or calls.'

In a separate text, 'Is he okay? I knew my talk with him was rough but I didn't expect this. '

You bit your lip, just realizing that you haven't heard Hypnos' phone go off all day. Normally, Hypnos' phone was glued in his hand and he was always constantly texting or playing a game.

You looked up, making sure Hypnos was still in the building.

You replied, 'I think he just needs a break. I will let you know if anything happens but maybe just give him some breathing room. Also what talk?'

Three dots appeared and disappeared a few times before Zagreus' response came.

'No, I know. We just wanted to make sure he wasn't alone. Thanks.'

You rubbed your face, unsure what to make of the texts and that Hypnos, a known phone addict, hasn't been on his phone all day. And that Zagreus didn't bother to tell you what 'talk' he had with Hypnos.

You looked back up and saw Hypnos walking back a grin on his face. When your eyes met his, he waved the roomcard and a plastic bag triumphantly.

You pushed your worries aside for now, Hypnos will talk to you when he is ready.

💤

"Uhh, dude. There is only one bed." You said blankly when Hypnos turned the lights on. All the room had was a single hotel bed and a little table with two chairs. The whole area looked like it never left the seventies.

"And a sofa." Hypnos pointed out as he flopped down on it. The sofa creaked loudly as if threatening to snap in half. "I can sleep on anything, remember?"

"If you are sure." You grabbed the plastic bag from the floor as you sat down on the bed.

You dumped the goods on the bed. There was a healthy mix of spicy ramen bowls, candy bars and cans of soda.

You picked out the one you knew Hypnos liked and set on making dinner.

The sofa kept creeking each time Hypnos twitched or even breath. Hypnos' eyes were close but there was a tension to his body that kept him looking truly relaxed.

You debated on telling him that Zagreus had reached out to you but the tight frown on his face kept you from saying anything.

The microwave gave a high pitch beep and you quickly pulled out the ramen and placed the hot bowl on the table. "Hey, Hypnos. Soup on." You told him as you got your bowl ready.

"Oh. Thanks. Wanna have a soda?" Hypnos asked.

You thanked him as you dug into your own dinner and honestly the cheap ramen was the best thing you tasted after not getting lunch during the drive.

Hypnos was unusually quiet during dinner and while getting ready for bed. You couldn't help noticing that Hypnos never once picked up his phone.

Hypnos yawned and sat on the sofa much more carefully yet the beast still creaked in warning.

You sighed, there was no way you or him would sleep with all that creaking.

"Hypnos, just come to bed. I think it's a queen so we got plenty of room." You told him as you got under the covers. You met his gaze, his eyes bright even with the dark circles under them.

"Okay." He agreed softly. He gave you a look that you ignored as he joined you. He turned off the lights. "Good night, Y/N."

You rolled on your side, back facing Hypnos. "Good night." You yawned widely, already halfway to sleep.

💤

You didn't quite wake up all the way, not at first. You blinked at the wall, small cracks in the blinds allowed for small rays of sunlight to break though. It made the motel room feel cozy even with the ugly decor.

There was an arm loosely wrapped around your shoulders and you sank into its hold with a sigh.

Your eyes closed before your brain realized that you could feel another body pressed against your back, legs tangled together.

You snapped awake, your body went rigid and you heard Hypnos grumbled against your nape.

You relaxed, letting out a breath when you remembered Hypnos was in bed with you. Hypnos, during sleepovers when you were children, always ended up clinging on to you.

It was almost nice, a return to a simpler time. Almost.

It was a very different experience when you both were adults. You flushed when Hypnos pressed a little harder against your body, a pleased, sleepy hum rumbled in his chest.

You could feel him pressed against your lower back and damnit, your traitor of a body was responding. You squeezed your eyes shut, flushed from shame and want.

Your mind flashed back to the last time you allowed Hypnos this close.

You could still remember how he pushed you into his dark bedroom and kissed you again and again. How it felt being under him on his bed. How you almost let him have more.

And you knew you wouldn't survive if Hypnos acted just like he did the morning after.

With the small strength you were able to find, you pulled out of his hold or rather you tried to.

His arm went tight and kept you in the bed, "Where are you going so early?" His sleep rough voice mumbled against your skin.

You ignored the goosebumps he caused and you sighed annoyed. "Come on, you're being a jerk. I need to go get ready for the trip."

"Hmm, we drove more than we planned. We still have some time." Hypnos murmured, clearly going back to sleep. You grabbed the blanket with your free arm and yanked it off the both of you.

Hypnos yelped at the sudden cold and let you go. You darted out the bed and grinned at the scowl Hypnos had. You tossed the blanket over his face and walked away. "Early birds get the worm Hypnos!" You called out as you headed to the bathroom.

You bit back a laugh at the loud groan Hypnos made.

💤

After a quick stop for coffee and pancakes with bacon which Hypnos immediately drowned in syrup much to your disgust of the sheer amount of sugar, you were back on the road.

After an hour of staring out the window at patches of woods between the farmlands, you turned to look at Hypnos.

"What is it about this place that made you pick it? I looked at the map, we could get to the ocean quicker if we went along the other route. " You thought for a moment, "And you know, not to have to drive past the mountains."

"Yeah, if you want to see what everyone else sees and deal with the crowds." Hypnos scoffed. He pulled his shades down a bit to look at you, his windblown curls bounced with the movement.

You prayed he didn't notice your blush.

"Also my mom told me about this place a million times. Trust me, it is going to be worth the wait." And with that, Hypnos focused back on driving.

You turned back to the open window, silently hating yourself for still being attracted to him.

"Hey- is that a cow?" Hypnos asked, already slowing down. You looked down the road and saw the animal. You couldn't help the laugh that came out. "Yeah it is."

The stray cow stared down at the car. It was apparently unconcerned about being hit as it chewed on the grass in its mouth.

Hypnos pressed down on the horn repeatedly and long. The cow kept chewing on its bit of grass, blinking slowly.

"Dumb cow. It knows what it is doing." Hypnos muttered.

You laughed again, "I think that is an oxymoron."

Hypnos scowled and waved his hands at the cow whose tongue had found its nose.

"Well, what bright ideas do you have, Y/N?"

You looked into the bag of snacks down by the footrest. And pulled out a bag of barbecue chips.

"I'm going to lure it out of the road, first chance you get, drive past."

Hypnos pulled his shade down, an eyebrow crocked.

You shook the bag at his doubtful look.

Hypnos' eyes narrowed, eyes sharp and calculating. "That won't work."

"Oh?" You raised a brow. "And why not?"

"Those are barbecue chips, I'm pretty sure even that dumb thing know that smell. And when it smells the barbecue, it will just run you over enraged about the chips."

You leaned toward him, "Wanna make a bet?"

He matched your lean, a bright glint in his eyes. "Sure. If I win, you have to agree to everything I say until we get to the hotel."

"Fine." You agreed. "And if I get the cow out of the way, you can only speak in moos until we get to the hotel."

"Deal." He leaned back into his seat. "Easiest win ever."

You scoffed at him as you got out. "Gee, thanks for believing in me."

You stared down the cow who merely blinked at you.

Hypnos poked his head out the window, laughing "Hey Y/N, when it's moving, start running!"

You shushed him and crinkled the bag at the cow. It took a wary step forward and you opened the bag and it took a sniff.

The cow immediately tried to bite the bag but you took several steps and it followed you. You couldn't stop your smirk at Hypnos' outraged face. "Good cow." You cooed. "Good cow."

You took several steps back into the tall grass and dumped the chips on the ground.

The moment the cow started eating the chips on the ground, you took off like a shot and almost fell into your seat. You barely had a chance to close the door before Hypnos drove off.

You pulled your seatbelt on and waited, a huge grin on your face.

When Hypnos refused to say anything or even look at you, you poked him in his cheek.

"Hypnos." You called his name in a sing-songy tone. "I won the bet. Hypnos. Hypnos." You poked him with each word. There was an evil, childish part of you enjoying this too much.

Hypnos batted your hand away. "Moo fucking moo." He replied sourly.

You playfully frowned, "I don't think cows can say fucking."

"Oh my god."

"They don't say that either."

Part Two

[1oserjk]

— full stop | 03

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a series.

a messy divorce, unrequited feelings, and a five year old. 

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02 ⇋ 04

x full stop masterlist | x masterlist

shit is 16k .. sry 

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full stop | 03: unhappy birthday

Hyejin has always been a ball of fury when you poked at the wrong buttons on her. But something about Jungkook and the aftermath of the divorce has made her even more apprehensive of the man, and you can only do so much to shift her opinions elsewhere.

“Fuck him over. Somehow, someway — just do it.”

You choke.

Eyes widening, sputtering out, “H-Hyejin..” 

“I’m not kidding,” she deadpans, already rolling up her sleeves, “How many times do I have to tell you that fucker will never learn?” 

A hand comes up, “Okay wait.” You pause. “Are we going to collectively forget Jungkook is my daughter’s father?” 

Her head shakes. “Not relevant—and also hard for me to care when it comes to him.” 

You exhale, eyes fluttering closed and palms resting flat on her kitchen table. “Look, I know he’s not the most liked between everybody right now. But, I can’t just tell him no.. That’s not fair.” 

“But there’s boundaries,” she points and argues, then prompts, “What kind of outcome does he expect when he goes out with the one person who caused most of the mess two years ago.”

Your eyes roll back. “She took a micro-portion of it.” 

“Her presence was still there and highly significant if I'm judging from most of the nights you came to me for!” 

“Hyejin.” You glare. 

“And don’t even try to do That Thing where you deduce your own valid feelings and assume everybody else’s choices and actions are reasonable when it’s clearly not!” You glare and she blatantly ignores it, waving you off, “And I know you’re keeping everything within yourself for the sake of being a better co-parent, or whatever fucking advice you read in the facebook group you’ve recently planted yourself in, but god. I’m mad, anyone would be mad, so let me be mad for you.” 

“No one is going to be mad about this,” you finally decide. “There’s nothing to be mad about. He is his own person and he can make his own decisions.” She pins her stare at your nails that you pick at. You feel it. “Even if it means going out with someone younger, more exciting, who prances around with a pen in her hand as if she’s really doing something useful all the fucking time for whatever goddamn reason. I could care less,” you can’t help but mutter under your breath shortly after. 

“Ha!” One of her acrylics poke at you and you flinch. “You are mad.” 

You groan out loudly. “I’m not mad,” you exasperate. “All I’m saying is for him to have at least decent taste if he’s going to date. Not someone so expectant after a divorce.” 

Her eyes narrow. 

“But that’s not the point,” you make sure to add right after. Fingers run through your hair and you sigh. “Look,” you ease gently. “I’m trying to be alright in this, okay? The last thing I want to do is stomp in like a madwoman and refuse a relationship that would’ve happened sooner or later.” 

Of course, she disagrees. “God,” she stands, grabbing both of your mugs and heading to the sink. “You’re turning into one of those Milf’s that stand by to live, laugh, and love—it’s grossing me out.” 

Your ears perk at attention and you smile smugly. “You think I’m a Milf?” 

“Shut up. You’re flattered.” She turns it on to soak both of your cups before the coffee sticks. “I only dropped by to tell you that it’s okay to freak out once in a while.” 

The only reason she’s been keening on you to go apeshit in front of your ex-husband, was the frantic phone call you left on the night of ditching Jungkook in your own kitchen. Being that she was here now, claiming that Kiumin ached for a playdate with Yeona, when in reality, her only goal was to scold you for not swinging at the doll Jungkook pranced around with as of late. 

She puts a hand on her hip and leans towards the counter. “Turning to corny coping mechanisms like following a Bob Ross tutorial isn’t going to fix your rage you’ve been pushing down.” 

“Okay, but that’s only because Jungkook still has some of his supplies laying around and the only thing I could come up with was painting a fucking sunset. Sue me,” you defend, throwing your arms up. “Besides, you weren’t there to see him, Hyejin. He was getting out of his office for once, smiling even, a-and it was different. A good different, and..” You’re completely at a loss, mouth opening, then shutting back closed, because what was even the point. 

“..You don’t want to take that away from him,” she finishes, a tilt to her head and a consoling expression gracing her features. 

“Exactly,” you exhale. “I can’t even be mad that she’s actually getting him out there, taking him to things that didn’t involve work. Something I couldn’t even do-“ 

“Hey, no,” she stops you, head firmly shaking. “No, you don’t get to do that. You were there and present, even on the days you were close to giving up before you actually did — you were there, trying your absolute hardest, clinging onto what he barely gave you. You were never the problem, okay?” 

You meekly nod, tired eyes on her when she takes a firm hold of both of your hands. 

She makes it clear, saying, “As a wife and a mother, you were always there and that is something nobody can take away from you.”

“I know,” you confess. “I’m just in a weird position right now, and I’m stressed out from it. Not mad—stressed.” 

“And you don’t have to be, alright?” She shakes on your shoulder. “I know I insisted on breaking some plates and screaming, but hearing you out, I’m sure you would rather stray from the subject as a whole.” 

“Please.” 

“Alright. I’ll get out of your hair for now, and if I come up with something to do for us that doesn’t involve egging someone’s car—“

“Hyejin!”

“—then I’ll let you know.” 

You huff out a breath and finally stand, entering into her arms she spans out. “I’ll always be worried about you, babe.” 

“I know,” you mumble, “And I’ll keep telling you I’m fine every single time you ask.” She pinches your side that earns a loud yelp from you and a hiss of pain a second later. 

“Love you.” 

“Always,” you promise and then remind, “Please save some space for Yeona’s birthday that’s coming up, and be prepared for any phone-calls beforehand of me crying because my baby’s growing up and I have no control to slow down time for it.” 

“Ah, that’s right,” she says. “Tell me if you need any help planning, alright?”

“Of course.” 

“Kiumin, baby,” she calls out, heading towards the living space, “Buddy, let’s go. We gotta get home before dinnertime.” 

Both of your children are on the floor, several toys in front of them and a television with brightly lit characters and colors that did not have to be at a high-volume as it was right now. 

“Aw,” the little boy pouts, “Okay.” He turns to your daughter and waves hesitantly. 

“Bye Kiumin,” Yeona yells out, clambering across the floor to get a hug. Short arms wrap around tiny figures and it’s absolutely adorable. Your eyes can sense a hint of red on Kiumin’s cheeks when your daughter’s hands tug tightly onto his. “See you soon, maybe.” She shrugs. 

“Don’t worry, Yeonie,” Hyejin promises. “We’ll meet up again soon.” 

At that, Yeona nods enthusiastically and shuffles herself forward for another hug directed towards your best friend. “Bye, aunt Hyejin.” She receives a soft pat to her head. 

“Be safe on the way home,” you order. 

They make their leave swiftly, and it finally gives you time to properly breathe—and think for a long while. 

-

Tiny fingers pinch the paper in between them, a determination set in her eyes as she excitedly jumps around in her seat. “It’s done,” she announces. 

Your eyes resemble a wink when you squint at her, sun shining way too brightly for it to be this early in the morning. It practically reflects Yeona’s attitude in starting the day like this, while you sit pathetically in an oversized shirt and coffee in hand. 

Taking the time in the morning for yourself was barely a thing, especially when it came to your daughter and her way too early sleep schedule her school had willed her on. 

Instead of sleeping in, you’re dealt with Yeona already being wide-eyed in her bed, making grabby hands at the toys in her bedroom you’ve put the time in cleaning up on the floor from the night before. 

Even staying home in her matching sweats her father had gifted her, she would still request her hair up and out of her face for the rest of the day. So, you’d be taking fifteen minutes to slick her hair up in her choice of a ponytail or pigtails instead of preciously sleeping in. Even right after, she’d become hungry, wanting breakfast to go along with her cartoons she had downloaded on her tablet. 

Which was perfectly fine, you’d be up soon anyway, so it would be better overall to just start the day off a bit earlier. It would only just leave you a bit off-looking and disoriented in the things you’d do for yourself. 

Years back, when Yeona was younger and you were still married, the routine was easier and much steadier when you would tag-team in getting ready for the day, passing off your daughter after one task would be done for the other and it would be your own turn for yours. 

At first, it left you frazzled when you were alone most days, but now, since the separation has settled in, it’d been okay for the most part. It just meant that some of the things and time you put aside for yourself were sacrificed, and that you would have to save your self care routine for later in the night when Yeona would flutter her eyelashes closed for slumber. 

You excitedly clap a few times and reach eagerly. “Can I see?” 

Yeona’s birthday was reaching close and for most of them, you would be able to know exactly what she’d want for that particular year. Normally, it would be a themed party of whatever she had been obsessed with at that time, and obviously the gifts you would drown her in. Last year went with a breeze. You were glad at that time when most of the conflict between you and Jungkook had faded when the time came, solely focusing on your daughter and that was it. But now, with the way things had left between the two of you recently, you were worried it wouldn’t be the same as this year. 

Yeona had declared she wanted something different this year and decided that she’d write it all out in a list. Still unsure and a bit confused, you complied and set out her supplies for her to take over on the paper. It was only fifteen minutes after she claimed that she was finished. 

Leaning towards her paper, you expected it to be drowned in color and design, taking the same artistic habits as her father. But to no avail, it was left blank. 

Your brows furrow. “I thought you were done?”

She nods. “I am!” 

“So.. Where—“ You awkwardly left off, wondering if she was hiding it beneath the table or behind her back. She giggles when you curiously dip your head under the tabletop. 

“In here,” she points. A single finger pokes at her head and she proudly smiles before explaining, “The list is in my head! If you read all of it at once, then it wouldn’t be fun, so I’ll tell Mommy the first thing now and the rest for later.” 

Your mouth opens in a sound of realization, and your eyes glint at how clever she became. “So,” you excitedly lean towards her more, landing a soft peck on her forehead. “What does my baby want for her birthday?” 

“No party,” she firstly says with a firm shake to her head. 

Your eyes widened. “No party?” Since the beginning, it’s always been one. 

“Nope.” Her lips purse out with a crinkle to her nose. “Mommy,” she says, eyes twinkling. “I’m growing, so big girls don’t have parties.” 

You hum, “Is that so?” 

She nods dramatically. 

“So what would you want this year?” 

“I would like to ask if we could have my birthday at Uncle Jin and Joonie’s beach house.” 

Your brows shoot up. “That’s all the way in Jeju..” 

She nods. “We could all take the ferry!” Then, she pouts. “We never go on the ferry.” 

Her idea runs through your mind for a few seconds before theorizing with her, mindlessly murmuring to yourself, “We could take the one in Busan and visit Grandma and Grandpa on the way..” You were sure they would want to see Yeona on the day of her birthday. 

Her eyes brighten when she picks up on your mumbles, grappling your wrist and shaking it, “Yes, Mommy! We’ll take everybody, like, Daddy’s co-workers and Kiumin!” 

It seems that you were already confirming the idea instead of considering it, though it all seemed like a perfect idea that wouldn’t take a lot of effort or stress. You can already imagine the small gathering for the weekend getaway, already knowing how much the others would like some time off, especially the guys that would always be cooped up in the suffocated shop filled with needles and ink. It would be a nice way of switching a few things up and catching up with the rest of the inner circle you’ve accumulated from the time of being with Jungkook. 

“Well,” you start, “Let me have a conversation with your Daddy and then maybe,” you halt when she begins to turn giddy, “Maybe it will happen. But he’s going to have to ask Uncle Jin and Joon if it’s alright, so it's honestly up to them to decide..” 

“Okay,” she quickly obliges, confidence set in her tone and smile, telling you that she was completely sure of her idea and their compliance to it.

-

“Of course!” 

Jungkook’s head drops down in embarrassment while you sit across from him, mouth almost gaping. 

“S-Seokjin,” you sputter. “You barely even gave it a few seconds to think about.” 

He shakes a hand back and forth, “Why would I need to?”

“You can’t just..“ You lead off hopelessly. Turning to the lanky man next to him, you raise a brow. “Namjoon?”

“Fine by me,” he says over a mouthful of noodles, “We barely even use the house, anyway.” 

“O-Okay, but-“ 

“We should go a week before the date to check up on it,” Seokjin suggests to Namjoon. 

“You’re right, just in case anything is out of place,” he replies. 

“The fireplace should be okay, right? I heard it rained last weekend.” 

And then they fall into their own conversation, leaving you and Jungkook, the real parents in this situation — silent. 

“I guess.. It’s happening?” You squeak out. The expensive couch sits uncomfortably on your bum, and you grow sweaty from being left to bask in the tension between the man across from you. It’s awkward, almost dragging on since you’ve entered the flat and sat down with Jungkook.

You were thankful at first, when Seokjin had butted in the conversation, boyfriend in tow. 

The last time you’ve encountered your ex-husband, were only the past few weeks of dropping off Yeona on his days off, stoically handing her to him and running off until you would have to pick her up again. 

It was childish, you knew that. You knew it exactly when you turned your back to him and completely shut him out three weeks ago. But at this point, it was the only way you were able to cope with however you were feeling about him, and simmering down most of your anger. But seeing that you would have to deal with him sooner rather than later, being that Yeona’s birthday was coming up, you were reluctantly willing to face him. 

“Yeah, I don’t think we have a choice,” he chuckles, palms nervously rubbing against his knees. A small part of you is definitely basking in the way he squirms under your scrutiny. 

“It’s fine,” you say, “This was the biggest part of Yeona’s list, anyway. She really wanted this.” 

He offers a quirk to his lips, and your heart immediately seizes, having to force yourself to stop looking at him so obnoxiously. It’s gross, really, how you’ve managed to be so affected by him - good or bad, since the very start. 

A throat clears, and it’s Namjoon, one hand stuffed in his pocket while the other on Seokjin’s lower back. You grow curious if he noticed. “Tell Yeona we can have her birthday at our house in Jeju.” 

“Thank you, really—to you both. She really wanted this, and for you guys to be there too.” 

“Of course, we’ll send a message to the rest that they’re invited.” 

With a smile, you stand and wrap your arms around both of them on your way out. “Thank you, again,” you can’t help but repeat. They only chuckle in your tight grasp that clearly proved how grateful you were to them.

“I’ll walk you out to your car,” Jungkook offers when he stands. 

You shake your head, “It’s alright. I took a bus here.” 

“Then, I’ll drive you back.” 

“Jungkook, no, it’s okay-“ 

Already disappearing into his room, he makes a grab for his jacket and shoes to head out. 

Seokjin chuckles when you whip around to face back the both of them, “Stubborn.” 

You’re breathless when you repeat in stress, “Yeah.” 

“Have a good night, _____.” Namjoon and Seokjin simultaneously wave, sending you both out the door. You embarrassingly let out a light laugh, waving back and wishing the same for them. 

You rush to the side of Jungkook when they disappear. 

Nobody talks, even until you’ve reached his car, unlocking the doors and allowing you to slip in the passenger side. 

He got the vehicle shortly after finalizing his move out of the house, offering the one you previously shared and owned. You didn’t have much of a choice when he slipped the keys in your hand and left shortly after without any argument. You were more nervous that if you pushed more for him to take it, he’d go out and buy you a new one the next day. 

For Jungkook driving the sleek black car everyday, it practically seems unused, leather seats still having that particular smell and everything still being tidy around it. Then again, Yeona is now older and less messy than before. 

Everything in the car is so exactly him, and you weren’t quite sure how to feel about it. 

After buckling up and properly settling in, he slides the keys in the slot, leaving you to stare at the hanging car accessory up at the rearview mirror. 

It’s a picture of you and Yeona, laid out on the floor. You remember the memory clearly, Yeona declaring a tickle fight and sprawling out on the floor for a fair match. Even with Yeona sat on top of you, it seemed that you were winning in the game with how her head was thrown back and a wide grin on her face, you could practically hear the squeal she was letting out in the picture. 

He still had it. 

For a second, you smile back at it. 

You barely even notice the car already moving and him asking the question, “Why didn’t you drive?” 

Your head flicks to him, and your eyes stay right at his jaw when he makes a smooth turn. You shrug, “It was nearby, I didn’t mind.” 

“You should’ve told me,” he says, “I would have come home instead of you travelling all this way for me.” 

Home. He still called it home, like it’d be any day now for him to return to it, that this was all a temporary fix until everything would get less foggy. 

“It’s fine,” you pass off. “I didn’t think you would see the offer as worthy since Yeona is at my mom’s place right now.” 

His head shakes, turning away from the road to catch your eyes for a split second. “I don’t need any reason to see you, _____. Just tell me, and I’ll be there.” It’s with vigour and promise, you almost turn flustered. 

You let out a small scoff before looking down at your hands. “If you said that a long time ago, we would’ve still been married,” you joke, though it comes out bitter. “Thanks for the offer, though,” you sarcastically add. 

The car suddenly halts and you look up, the red traffic light flashes in front of you. 

Jungkook shuts his eyes before tiredly letting out a sigh. 

You grow anxious, looking out the window from the side. Some of the restaurants and shops are surprisingly still open and you focus on the windows with bright lighting inside of the buildings. Friends and couples are eating out, some are laughing, and you wonder what some of their conversation consisted of. You surmise it’s something foolish when one of them throws their head back in a fit of laughter. 

Your hands grip each other when a pair from the opposite side of your vision pucker up and kiss. It turns personal way too quickly and you immediately feel like you're intruding, grateful that the light turns green and you finally move away from the intimate image, wondering if you would ever get close to that phase of your life again.

The silent minute brings you to announce abruptly, “We’re going to take the ferry in Busan instead of here, so that she would be able to see your parents before leaving.” 

“Sounds fine,” he replies. “My mother would like that.”

You nod. 

“What about yours?” He suggests.

You sigh, head hitting the headrest of the seat softly. “Another detox trip. They said they would send her a birthday card before they would leave. Probably why they’re spending as much time with her as they can before they leave.” 

Even with eyes on the road, he still seems to be listening intently. He hesitates a few seconds before asking, “How’s your dad?” 

You send him a smile, the least you could do before answering, “Still hates you.” 

He snorts. “Yeah,” he says, “I figured.” 

You swallow tightly and decide to ask, “How’s settling with Seokjin?” It’s been a couple of years, but still, it all still feels new and something you haven’t gotten around to asking ever since. 

He hums, “It’s quiet most of the time since he’s at Namjoon’s nearly everyday..” 

“The place is practically yours then,” you attempt to joke again, but it comes out as hardly, not exactly comfortable to throw that specific tone around.

He shrugs. “Wish he would let me pay more than half of the rent, but it’s tolerable.” 

“Are you ever planning to get your own place soon?” 

“Huh,” he thinks. “Haven’t put much thought into it.” 

“Well, if you ever do, I can always help out,” you quietly suggest and he takes a quick glimpse at you to see if you were actually being serious. 

“Really?”

You nod. “Yeah. I actually think it would be cool for Yeona to have a second room at your place. So it’s home over there for her as it is with me.” 

Another red light, and his eyes blink close for a moment. The conversation is going too fast and all of a sudden, it starts to hurt. 

Jungkook doesn’t want another home, a place that reads that he is officially separated from you and out of his reach, not when it doesn’t include you in it. 

It would hurt him even more if you would egg it on, support him and the move away from you, like you would want him to, and maybe you really did. He would understand why. Still, it hurts when you talk so freely like this, seemingly eager to get rid of him.

Jungkook doesn’t voice his disagreement, avoiding talking at all and keeping his mouth closed instead. 

The conversation falls off after that, and he most likely figured that would be the most he got out of you for the rest of the car ride. 

That was until you spoke up again. 

It was quiet, almost barely heard, and it’s said quickly. “You can invite her, you know?” 

His fingers unknowingly grip on the steering wheel. 

You look back down. “I don’t mind and I don’t want you to think that I’ll hold you back from doing so.” 

They want to reach out, grasp for your hands you keep fiddling with, scold you for biting on your lip too harshly, everything he used to do, he wanted to fall back and do it all at once. 

They keep clinging to the wheel. 

“I was mad back then,” you guiltily admit and he immediately shakes his head. 

“You had every right to be.” 

“I probably looked silly for being so mad on something I have no control over.” You move your eyes back over the window and the blurry images that pass by solemnly. “Especially when everything’s been said and done with, right?” You turn to him and he gulps. His heart drops at how quick and firm you said, as if it was that easy. 

“Yeah,” he agrees quietly. 

“Maybe this is a learning curve for us,” you nod to yourself. “So, I’m open to having her with us this year.” 

He had no idea why you were so sure that everything between Seol and himself were solid enough to introduce her as his girlfriend, fuck, even he wasn’t sure he could spit the word out himself. 

Everything was going by way too fast, too much to process. 

He only nods, clinging onto actions rather than words to speak for him. 

His throat clears and the car slows down to a clear stop. You peak over his head and find your house already being presented as the car decreases in speed. 

“Oh.” 

“Yeah,” is all he says.

“Well,” your buckle releases and you slide out onto the edge of the seat, already gripping onto the handle. You offer him a smile. “Thanks, Jungkook.” 

The door opens and he stiffly nods and doesn’t pull out of his spot until his own two eyes have watched your figure disappear into the entrance of the house. 

-

“Did you double-check that you have everything?” 

She nods. 

“Okay, then I think we’re ready.” You clap, zipping up the rest of your bags. 

She can’t even stand still with her excitement, having to run around at times when it got too much. 

Ever since the beginning of planning this weekend trip, you surprisingly had a lot of time on your hands from the immense help of everybody else who volunteered to plan. You were glad that they reached out, but you also became antsy at the fact you had no control over the outcome of this gathering. In anything that Yeona wanted, you strived to make sure it would happen with reasonability. Being away from most of the planning had left you anxious on most days, wondering what Seokjin would be pulling under his sleeve on Yeona’s celebration. 

“Here.” You hand her backpack to her, silently ushering her to turn around so you could slip it through her arms. “Sit on the couch and watch your show for now. Your father will be here soon to pick us up.” 

She complies easily, shuffling towards the cushioned chair. 

Before she becomes too absorbed in the cartoon, you ask a mindless theory for her to answer, “If Daddy shows up with a friend—that is a girl.. You’ll be nice, right?” 

Her head tilts and her brows crease. “Girl—friend?” 

Your fingers tighten against the hem of your sundress. “M-Maybe? I’m not sure, he hasn’t told me a lot about her..”

“That’s not right,” she notes. “Daddy should tell Mommy so she knows..” 

You send her a softened smile that holds a sad shift in it. “Not this time, baby.” You look down at your hands. “Just be nice to her, okay?” 

She only nods. 

You brush off your knees when you stand back up, moving back towards your room to grab whatever else you might’ve forgotten and rush through most of your makeup bag to fix yourself up a bit. 

You debated a few times in your head to switch up your dress for another one in your bag. Usually, you never cared, but this time, oddly, you wanted to satisfy more than yourself with the way you currently looked and dressed as - for whatever reason you cannot decipher as. But having to change, you would also have to switch out Yeona’s dress since you both decided to match today. 

You decided not to bother since it would take too much time, especially since you hear the buttons being pressed at your front door, buzzing when the code punches in and indicating that Jungkook was finally here. 

You quickly pull and clip on a necklace that was mindlessly set on your bedside table, and rush out the room with your bags. 

When both of them come into view, you already see Yeona attached to Jungkook’s hip. No one else. 

“Hey,” you breathlessly greet with a nod, trying not to seem blunt by focusing on the front door to see if a certain person tagged alone. “I hope this isn’t too much—? I cut down most of it last night..” 

He shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it,” then looks down at the bags, “But—uh, are you sure you need all of this? It’s only a couple of days.” 

“Yeah, but,” you hesitate, pushing some strands of your hair away, “It’s clothes, swimsuits, sunscreen, shower products, presents—“ 

“Presents?” Yeona brightens. 

“No,” You and Jungkook rush. 

“Mommy meant something else..” 

“Oh.” Her expression flattens. “Then what did she mean?” She presses. 

Jungkook’s mouth gapes and he attempts to spit out an answer before you boisterly interrupt, “Oh no! We’re running late.” 

He nods comically when he meets eyes with you. “Y-You’re right! Let me take your bags,” he offers. 

You practically shove them into his hands when you switch positions, taking Yeona into your own and softly letting her down. 

When you stand up straight, he eyes the both of you in awe when he notices. 

“You’re both matching.” 

You grow heated under his gaze and shyly nod, straightening out the flimsy skirt of your dress. “She’s been hounding me to get a mini size for her when I wear mine, so this was her first gift from me.” 

Her tiny hands cling onto your fingers and squeezes them, “Yup! We wanted to look pretty for Daddy.” 

You practically choke out a small cough at her statement as he arches a brow towards you, your cheeks dusting a shade of embarrassment immediately. 

“T-There was no set intent for doing this exactly,” you defend with a growing pout before you childishly point at Yeona and sputter, “It was her idea and I just went with it.” 

He chuckles, encouraging the dusty rose to spread to your ears and neck. “Well,” he starts and confirms, “You both look beautiful.” He’s already turning away and moving towards the door before you can react. “I’ll compliment you more when we get in the car, but we should hurry.” 

You both scurry in front of him, and a firm hand lands on the small of your back to lead you out. Whipping around slightly, you turn surprised from the mere gesture. 

A certain feeling washes over you — it’s nostalgic, almost drowning you from the blunt force when his fingers land on only the thin material that separates your skin from his. For a second, it feels like what it has always been. 

Even as false pretense or even reassurance, you bask in the feeling you can only assume is melancholy and warmth, all at the same time. It’s bittersweet, but it’s something and it’s clearly there.

He offers a smile, and it’s not a polite one you usually send each other when you would interact, it’s not a forced one either. It was genuine, and it was towards you. 

A smile that read this weekend would be a memorable one, like all of the other birthdays you celebrated each year. 

For a split second, you feel like a family again. 

The door clicks shut and you finally all head out to fulfill Yeona’s birthday journey. 

-

“God,” he rubs at his shoulder that aches. “What did you pack in here to make me feel like this four floors down?” 

Rolling your eyes, your daughter’s leg brushes against you when it kicks up for the minute of buckling her up. You don’t bother asking her to stop, silently allowing her to start playing with your hair when you lean over the other side of her carseat. You adjust her sandals while you’re at it. “We took the elevator, I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.” 

“You weren’t the one carrying it,” he argues, shutting the trunk closed. 

Finally finished with making sure Yeona would ride safely in the backseat, you recover your crouched form and rise. “You offered.” 

He sighs, hands on his hips, and a smile creeping on his face he managed to halt before your eyes would land on them. “You never answered my question.” 

Both of you make it to the front of the car and slip in, shutting the car doors simultaneously in coincidence. 

You wave a hand in dismissal before reaching up for the seatbelt. “It’s a few gifts for your mother. She really liked the scent of the apartment when she last visited, so I packed a few candles of the ones I’ve been using.” 

“A few?” He scoffs, pinning you a look. The car begins to run when he slides the key in the slot. He has a hard time believing in your estimate of the amount you were bringing when he picks up weights on a regular basis at the gym, not boasting when he clearly can’t help mentioning it every now and then. There were way more than a few.

You hesitate, observing him shift the gear and backing the car up and out of the parking space. “Fine, I slipped in a few more for Seokjin,” you confess and it’s clear that he has a smug smirk carrying his expression. “Only because he asked,” you huff.

A light chuckle slips out and his fingers on the center console almost twitch when he hears you let one out also. 

You abruptly turn towards the backseat. “Yeonie? Please turn down your tablet.” It Had been ringing in both of your ears since you got in the car. You wanted to have a proper conversation without having to scream out your words over the rhymes and overplayed sound-effects. 

When she does, you finally sigh and lean back in pure exhaustion from the lack of sleep the night before. 

Jungkook notices. 

“You okay?” He asks. 

Your eyes flutter open slowly and you nod. “Didn’t get a lot of sleep last night, so I’m dealing with the repercussions of it.” Your gaze on the road soon turns blank. 

If you were being honest, it’s been a long time in dealing with enough sleep. If you were in bed, you were most likely staying up, keeping yourself busy, not deeming it as a good enough reason to sleep just yet. Before, you slept easily, paying no mind to what was happening around you, you actually slept. Something changed to the point where you weren’t granted that access anymore, having to question the exact reason on why you should even sleep. You weren’t sure if you would find it, sticking with just coaxing yourself into slumber through most nights. 

“You can take a nap if you want,” he suggests. “It’s going to take a while before we get there, so you might as well.” 

You hum absentmindedly, barely registering any of his words if you were being honest. 

Yeona yawns. He shifts his attention to the back, watching Yeona squirm for a comfortable spot - as comfortable as she can get - in her carseat. “Are you sleepy too, baby?” 

She mewls out a tired noise in confirmation and leans her head to the padded side of hers. “Daddy, sing to me,” she requests, blinking, lagging until they fully close.

Jungkook’s soft hums fill up the noise of the car other than the white noise surrounding you when he drove. 

Your eyes go back to closing when it hits you, a metaphorical blanket that deems where you were, what you were doing, and who you were with — as safe. Your brows furrow unconsciously at the thought that you’ve been dealing with this specific problem about your sleep for God knows how long, but Jungkook suddenly fixes it and now it’s all gone. 

You finally sleep. 

-

An hour  into the drive and you suddenly ask, “Is she.. Driving on her way too?” 

His eyebrows furrow and he turns to stare at you, disoriented by the question. “Who?” 

You eye him wearily and tip your head forward, like it was obvious. 

He’s still confused. 

“Seol?” You finally spit out. 

“Oh.” 

That’s all he says and you grow impatient. “So?” 

“She’s not coming,” he finally answers. “I didn’t invite her. Why would you think I would?” 

“She wasn’t in the car when you picked us up, or at the house, so I just assumed..” 

“No,” he quickly denies, looking you in the eye this time. “She’s not coming.” 

“Oh—okay.” You wonder why. 

It’s silent except for when his throat clears and he turns the car. 

“Um,” you drag unsurely. “Are you.. Still—seeing each other?” It’s personal, and you regret asking, but for the sake of your bouncing leg and bated breath, you wait. 

“I—I don’t know? I mean we’re going out, but it’s not anything official.” He looks nervous, eyes shifting back and forth from one side of a street to another. 

“So.. You haven’t asked her to be your girlfriend yet?” 

This is weird. Too fucking weird and now Jungkook’s acutely uneasy because there is absolutely no malice in your voice. Just curiousness being unravelled.

“No, not really,” he nervously stammers, and he tries his best to gauge your reaction but you hold absolutely nothing to read on. “I want to decide carefully.” You suddenly stare back at him and he has no choice but to continue, “Like you said. I want to make sure it’s right. No fuck-ups anymore. Not with you or Yeona.” 

Your head shakes. “Jungkook, you don’t have to-“

“It’s my decision,” he firmly states, “and it’s on my terms.”

-

Jungkook’s mother was always a bright soul who greeted and welcomed you with open arms. 

The first time you were off to meet her, you were twenty-three years old and absolutely terrified, and you made sure to tell Jungkook that before you even stepped foot in the house he grew up in. 

You informed him how much bad luck you came with when it involved meeting your partner’s parents. More specifically — your past boyfriends and their overly clingy mothers who did not like you no matter what you did, as long as you were dating their son. 

“My mom loves everyone,” Jungkook explained previously the night before the anticipated meeting. 

You shook your head vigorously, eyes wide and anxious, shivering from having the thought of reliving something you always dreaded. “That’s what they all say before we end up arriving and then all of a sudden I’m being pounced on by an overbearing mother who obviously can’t stand the thought of having another woman in her son’s life.” 

He laughed. “Your exes were probably an only child,” and then continued to inform as if it would ease your nerves, “I have an older brother.” 

You shrieked. “Holy shit, that makes it even worse because you’re her youngest. The baby of the family—her baby.” He cackled and you landed a solid strike at his arm with a whine, “Jungkook, Take me serious.” 

“Alright, okay,” he shushed you and tugged at your hips before closing in on you. “I can assure you that my mother isn’t some type of villain you’ve painted out in your head.” 

You winced and patted his chest with a pout, “Sorry. Past minor trauma.” 

“I get it,” he reassured. “But she’s different than the rest, I promise.”

And she definitely was. 

The house fills with a scent of something cooking on the stove top and it immediately engulfs you in warmth when you hear the television going off in the spacious area of the living room, assuming it was Jungkook’s father planted on his signature chair he was always found in. 

When Yeona finally kicks off her shoes, she immediately runs through the house to find her grandmother. 

“Careful,” Jungkook calls from next to you. 

He notices your dazed state and takes a step closer. “How are you feeling? Still tired?”

Your mouth falls open and you shake your head with a smile, brushing it off, “My head is aching a bit from the long car ride, but I’ll be fine. Maybe I’ll sit down for a few.” 

He shows concern in his expression and leans forward to inspect you carefully. “Come here.” 

“I told you I’d be okay, Gguk. I’m fine.” Still, your feet take you closer towards him until calloused fingers land at your temples before applying pressure. “Mm,” you let out in surprise, lips pressed when he goes in circular motions against your skin, grappling onto one of his wrists for support. Your eyes flutter shut when the pain starts to subside. Four fingers each from both hands are firmly planted while his two thumbs continue to ease the throbbing that’s been planted in your head since you’ve gotten out of the car. 

“Starting to feel better?” He murmurs softly. 

 You nod with the space he provided for it. “I still think I should just take some medicine.” 

He doesn't stop his ministrations, only humming. “In a minute. Want to avoid my mom a bit longer before she starts to ask why I haven’t been visiting lately.” 

A smile quickly settles on your lips and you squeeze at the wrist you’ve been gripping on. 

It’s up close when he sees you softly giggle and his heart surges forward. Your eyes open back up and you’re suddenly staring at such a close proximity. 

“She worries about you.” 

“I know,” he promises. “Just not sure what to say when she starts interrogating me.” 

Before your mouth can slip in an answer, a throat clears and you tense immediately. 

You both stiffly turn towards the new figure in the room who raises an amused brow. 

“Uh, hi Mom. Where’s Yeona?” 

“With your father.” 

You remember suddenly before coughing and tugging at Jungkook’s hands that stay planted against your head. 

“We were just..” Jungkook attempts, wiping off his palms that have gotten significantly clammy in the span of a minute or two. 

“Headache,” you finish and state for him. 

“Yeah.” 

“Did we go back in time before medicine was a thing?” She jokes then tilts her head towards the direction of one of the bathrooms. “There’s painkillers in the medicine cabinet.” 

“Uh I’m going to.. Yeah.” Jungkook scratches at the back of his neck and seems unsure before seeing himself out to grab for the bottle of pills. 

“Please, don’t give me that look,” you beg once the embarrassment settles in and your cheeks start to warm up. 

“No, I’m just happy is all.” She smiles in satisfaction. “Last time I checked, you were divorced to my son.” 

You groan. “And I still am.” 

“Then what was that?” She refers back to the scene she had unfortunately walked in on. 

“A ploy to drag out time before hearing your questions about why he hasn’t been visiting as often as he should be,” you easily tattle. 

She gasps. 

Jungkook walks back in with two bottles in hand, eyes bouncing back and forth to each one. “It doesn’t matter which brand right? I brought out two just in case-“ 

“Jeon Jungkook,” his mother scowls. 

He freezes and looks up to his infuriated mother, then pointedly looks at you before the gears turn in his head. 

“You told her?” 

You simply shrug and snatch both bottles away before his mother would start shifting her target towards him. “Thank you.” 

You don’t bother to hear the scolding, instead, walking through the house to find where your daughter had drifted off to. 

Mrs. Jeon takes some time to catch up with her son and gives you enough to rest from the prolonged car ride. 

Small feet tap on the wooden floor and you try to search for the doe eyes and pouty lips that come with them. 

“Yeona, where have you been?” 

“With grandpa!” Then, she enthusiastically stomps. “He said my gifts are hiding from me.” 

You chuckle. “Is that so?” 

A bigger pair of feet walk in and Mr. Jeon looks flustered, as if he had done something he wasn’t supposed to do. His head angles down to Yeona and he explains, “I messed up! I was supposed to wait for Grandma to feed you guys before I said anything about birthday presents.” 

Your mouth opens to reply that he was perfectly fine before large hands settle firmly on your shoulders. You squeak and jump, registering that it was only Jungkook when you whip around to face the culprit. “Seriously?” 

“It’s payback,” he simply says. “I got scolded for fifteen minutes all because you decided to be a snitch.” 

“Sorry.” You softly nudge. “She was assuming too much when she saw us.” 

“Ah,” he realizes, and he suddenly seems okay with the thought of going down just for you. “I’ll have to talk to her again about doing that. Sorry.” 

You dismiss it with a smile. “Just more worried about you. Poor baby,” you tease. “What? Did she make you face the wall for five minutes?” He scowls. “Jungkook, she misses you,” you reason. 

“I know,” he mumbles. “I promised her I would be here more often.” 

He has that look in his eye you are way too familiar with — when the gears start turning and he begins to overthink his whole entire schedule for the month, figuring out the time-slots—if he even has any free space for it. 

“Hey,” you call, and he snaps out of it. “Don’t try to fill your family in your schedule as if they’re appointments. You’ll visit when you want to, okay? Not because you have to.” 

He exhales and nods. “Right. I will.” 

He then notices your features significantly brighter than the last time he’s taken them in, no more fatigued, so he asks, “Did you take the medicine?” 

You nod. “I just took it, but moving around a bit is helping a lot already. 

“That’s good.” 

His brows furrow when he catches the expression on his dad. “Is he okay?” 

You turn and observe him tailing your hyper daughter who has been checking every crevice of the house for any mere glimpse of eye-catching wrapping paper.

“Like father, like son,” is all you say and he stares on with no clue. “He’s literally a second away from hearing his own scolding.” 

Mrs. Jeon walks in and shrieks. “You told her already—?!” 

The man beside you sighs and questions out loud what on earth his father had done. 

So, you explain, “They put on a scavenger hunt for Yeona’s gifts. Except, it was supposed to be after lunch.” 

“Oh no.” 

“Yeah.” 

“You were supposed to wait so that I could take pictures for it!” 

The older man’s hands get thrown up in defense. “She hasn’t found them yet, it’s fine.” 

“What if she actually does?” She tests with a brow raised. 

“Mom,” Jungkook calls and both of his parents finally turn to give him attention. “It’s alright. We can do the scavenger hunt now since we’ll be leaving soon.” 

“You aren’t going to stay and eat?” 

“Please don’t worry,” you kindly decline. “I’d feel bad if you were to cook something, just for us.”

She waves a hand carelessly in the air. “Nonsense! I want to do this for you. It’s been way too long since the last time I cooked for more than two people.”

Your elbow prods at Jungkook who lacks his own attention. You quickly send him a look, a silent message to stop her from whipping anything up when you wouldn’t have much time to properly eat it, given from your strict itinerary. 

“We only have half an hour to be here before the next Ferry arrives,” he finally speaks up. 

“Oh,” his mother dejects with a pout. “Well, that’s a shame.” 

“Yeah, sorry mom.” 

Your hip pushes against his side, and your throat clears. “We’ll come back and stay for dinner,” you promise. 

“Please do,” she nods. “My son doesn’t even visit anymore.” 

She plainly ignores Jungkook, whose mouth has dropped significantly. “Mom—! I told you I would visit more often.” 

“Can’t even make a simple phone call,” she tsks. “Your ex-wife interacts with me at least three times a week—more than you ever did within a month.”

“Mom!” 

Your hand lands on top of his shoulder, giving it a soft squeeze and sending his mother a smile of understanding. “We’ll be there. Promise.” 

She sighs, hands smacking against her fruity apron and then clapping enthusiastically. “Alright, fine! Let me get my camera first.” 

Her son groans. “Just use your phone.” 

Her head shakes, already bending down and shuffling through the drawers, “But you got me that nice camera for Christmas! I haven’t used it yet.” 

“Alright, fine,” he reluctantly obliges. “Dad, will you please give my daughter a hint? She’s going crazy here.” He points and your daughter is exactly there, crawling through the coffee table and easing herself to the next tiny space she can fit in. 

“Baby, you’re going to hurt yourself,” you warn when she breezes through a few expensive-looking structures around the house, “Or break something.. Jungkook—!”  You tug on his sleeve and push him to grab her before any mishaps could happen. 

When Jungkook finally gets a hold of a squirmy Yeona, his father finally ushers everybody outside towards the direction of the backyard where the scavenger hunt is officially located.

-

“They just texted me that they’re already at the house,” Jungkook suddenly announces by the time Yeona finds her fourth present. 

You double-check the time on your phone and worriedly ask, “Do you think we’re running late?” 

His head shakes. “I doubt it. If anything, we’re probably on time. We left really early in the morning.” 

You sigh out with both shoulders deflating and he notices. “You okay?” 

“Yeah,” you ease. “Just worried, you know? This is the first year we aren’t doing a birthday party and she’s only turning six.” 

“Hey,” he chuckles. “It’s not like these aren’t going to be a forever thing.” 

“I know,” you groan and rub harshly at your temples. “I think I’m just so used to big gatherings, the amount of unnecessary attention, and the cake nobody eats because it’s all it really was for me growing up.” As much as the parties were for good intentions, it was never in a good way. 

The only reason your mother was set on giving you a birthday party every year was for the pictures and some way into measly bragging about how well her life was going and not everybody else’s. 

“And in no way I’m saying it as a way for Yeona to live through whatever I went through, but every year I try my best to plan something she wants.” You rub at your elbow unsurely with lips turned downwards. “For some reason, her not asking for one this year makes me think how much she didn’t like the others and how shitty I am for not seeing it much earlier.” 

Yeona giggles when she picks out another that happens to be sneakily hidden snug between a few branches of a tree. 

He shakes his head and calls for you softly. “Are you kidding? I’ve never seen her happier with every passing birthday you manage to outdo every year. Our daughter also has incredible confrontational skills - If she doesn’t like something, she’ll tell us regardless.” 

You snort. “Right.” You grow nervous how serious he becomes when you catch onto his eyes and his front faces you so suddenly. 

“She loves what you do every year,” he assures. He then reasons, “And maybe next year it’ll be different — she’s growing up.” 

You slowly nod, handing him a laugh of disbelief. “Yeah. God, you’re right. Sorry.” 

“Even standing here with a headache, you’re still worrying for nothing,” he scolds. 

“I told you I already feel better,” you argue in return. “The medicine helped a bunch. I’m okay.” And for the next ten minutes, you ignore the side-eye full of concern overpowering on his side when he shoots you a glance. He’s known you since the start of his twenties, of course he would be able to pick out if you were lying or not. 

“What’s the count?” Jungkook asks, eyes squinting from the bright sun casting down at the colorful yard. 

His mother points the camera at him and raises a hand, “Number Five!”

“And how much in total?” 

She pouts. “It wouldn’t be as much fun if I told you.” 

“Mom.” 

You shush him. “Leave her alone.” 

“Six! Six! Six!” Yeona yells near the fence. 

“You found the sixth one, sweetheart!” Jungkook’s father exclaims. 

His mother curses and whips the camera back around. “I missed it!” 

It’s comical when you watch it from afar, and a large smile blooms across your face at the three. “God,” you snort, quite endeared by the sight, “This is a mess. It’s cute.” 

Jungkook stays behind alongside you to simply observe you and them, and he’s already memorizing every part and aspect of this moment to set aside for later. 

Everything fell into place so perfectly, everybody belonging exactly where they were supposed to be. 

“You really do look pretty today, _____.” 

Eyes widening, you whip around to his figure with a questioned gaze. 

He’s willing to repeat the words, let you know over and over until you grow tired of the repetitiveness, drown you in all of the compliments he’s thinking of right now. 

But, you curtly nod and turn away. “T-Thanks.” 

His hand reaches out, exactly to where yours is and his sight subconsciously falls on your fourth finger that was blank of a specific jewelry he put on you two years ago. It’s already been two fucking years and he still grows somber when his eyes catch onto where the diamond used to be.

No matter how many times he can confront it with his own eyes, stare at it for however long you would allow him to look, seek it every time it would raise or show itself — It still hurts nonetheless. 

It’s exactly what makes him pull back and grip onto the chain tucked into his shirt, away from your eyes to see the charm that glints exactly like the first day you put it on him. 

-

Finally having it be the middle of the day, you get to leave and head towards the station to get from Busan to Jeju. 

The station is way more quiet than what you initially anticipated, it being the weekend and all, but the line barely lasts a minute, and you’re already boarding the ferry, right behind Yeona who holds her father’s hand tightly across the dock that transitions to the ship. 

“Snacks?” Is the first thing Jungkook asks for when you all sit down and you quickly reach into Yeona’s backpack. 

“All I have our a few baggies of rice-puffs and juice-boxes.” 

“I want one!” Yeona intercepts, and greedy hands suddenly wave in front of your face. 

“Alright, baby, hold on a minute.” You request and stare back up at Jungkook to propose the idea of sharing a muffin his mother offered last-minute when you slipped through the door to part ways. “There’s only two juice-boxes.”

Jungkook’s head shakes, going to decline the kind offer and allow you to have it before Yeona perks sweetly, “Daddy can share with me!” 

His thumb and pointer softly caresses the supple cheek beneath it before landing a kiss on it and murmuring, “Always so sweet.” 

Sitting back down, Yeona on Jungkook’s lap while you sit side-to-side, plastic cover of the muffin opened and lips pursed out to your own straw. 

With Jungkook’s hands full, squirming daughter all over his lap, you make it easier for him by popping small pieces of the muffin in his open mouth. 

You let out a laugh when you miss and watch a few chocolate crumbs dribble down his chin. “Sorry,” you murmur with a smile, fingers rubbing off some of where the chocolate smeared against his skin. 

“Do you need a tissue?” 

Turning to the nimble voice, you notice an elderly lady with a soft smile she carries so sweetly. “I’m sorry,” she laughs off. “I just noticed how much of a mess you’ve made on your husband.” 

You both don’t flinch at the assumption, smiling back at her. 

“Oh,” your voice brightens with a laugh of your own and bowing in your seat slightly, “Thank you so much for offering.” 

She brings out a few from her own bag and reaches out over the seats, “Here.” 

“Thank you again,” Jungkook says and she looks at you expectantly, practically requesting you to wipe off his mouth yourself. You jump at the realization and clear your throat with whatever protest that bubbled from within, and start with stiff fingers. You’ve already stuffed pieces of muffin in his mouth, what harm would it be to clean up the mess you’ve made? Except it’s completely different, not very easy doing the simple action with a bright-eyed old woman who seems very entertained by the aspect of it, all life returning to them when the tissue rubs at his bottom lip. 

“Daddy,” Yeona taps. “Want off.” 

His gentle grip on her tummy loosens and allows her to slide off of his legs to approach the woman. Your daughter gently waves and let’s her smile speak for itself, so easy to sway the woman when she was so used to doing this to every other person she meets daily. 

“Hi there.” The woman waves back and bends her back more forward to reach Yeona’s level. “Where are you off to today?” 

“Jeju!” She exclaims, and then boasts proudly, “It’s my birthday.” 

The woman eggs her giddiness on by clapping gently, “Oh wow. What a wonderful place to celebrate your birthday!” 

“Yes ma’am,” she agrees sweetly, hands clasped behind her back. “I told my Mommy and Daddy to bring me there and they said yes! We even rode all together here!” 

The woman spares you an odd look at the figures Yeona points at, and you both refrain meeting her eyes that read about obviously riding together, you were married with a kid after all.

At least, to her eyes you were. 

Unfortunately, the both of you lacked the guts to tell her the truth, and that this was just another day to simply tolerate each other more than you already do during the week. 

Nothing more, nothing less. 

The woman hums. “Your parents must love you a lot then. They look good together, too.” 

It all seems too much, as if she was mocking you, and you immediately grow antsy at her nosy stare. 

Luckily, after Yeona had her fair share in her frankly short conversation with the older woman, she left all of you alone for the rest of the ride. 

“That was—” Jungkook starts. 

“—Definitely new,” you finish. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever be used to the assumptions of us still being together. It’s hard not to just blatantly say no so that they could get off of our backs for once.” 

Your voice lowers a bit, just to make sure she can’t hear you from her corner-seat. “But we also have to understand their point,” you reason, “When people see both of us with a daughter, it’s easier to assume that we’re together.” 

His head leans on the metal rod behind him, still listening with his eyes closed. 

“Besides, I don’t really mind.” 

His head shoots back into position and he stares with widened eyes. “Y-You don’t?”

Shrugging, your head shakes. “It’s better this way. I’d rather just go along with it than explain exactly why we’re separated, let them into something they have no business in being in.” 

“Right,” he drags it. “Exactly,” and he says it more for himself to grip on, because fucking obviously. Not for any other reason but for convenience. Always for the best, and he was fine with it. Perfectly keen. 

His head turns towards the water, and he squints, legs bouncing obnoxiously, Yeona whines. It’s only then you realize he’s decked out in all black, as usual, with beads of sweat running off his temple and onto his neck. It’s only worse when he’s seated exactly right under the sun, where the roof fails to give him any shade. 

“You idiot,” you suddenly call and his brows furrow, whipping around to find you in a state of absolute worry, searching through your bag. “Out of all days, when we’d be outside, you’re wearing everything you’re not supposed to.” 

His eyes widen and he stares down at his attire, sizzling back down into realization when he finally realizes the problem. “I’m fine,” he passes off cooly. “Yeona wanted the seat nearest to the water, and I figured you wouldn’t want to be under the sun this long.” 

Before he can even come out with an argument, you’re already moving forward and grabbing Yeona off of his lap. 

“What are you doing?” 

“Come on,” you pat on his thigh, silently coaxing him to scoot. “We’ll trade spots. You can’t be under the sun like this.” 

“_____..” 

Your lips purse and stray down into a pout, and his heart falters, his argument pushed down his throat until he swallows it away. “Jungkook, I’m worried. I don’t even think you put on sunscreen today either.” 

He’s fully aware how irked you get when he doesn’t follow the skincare regimen you set up for him. It’s especially the distress you hold in your eyes and lips when he forgoes the most important step of it all: suncare. 

“Shit doesn’t even work,” he exasperates, and your eyes roll back.

“Say that to me when you’re fifty and covered with sun spots you’ll never be able to erase because you never wanted to listen to me.”

His bite comes without even a second thought, falling back into the banter he secretly misses, when it was comfortable to joke around you, tease you to no end, and drive you up the wall. “You’ll still like me that way, right?” He’s teasing now, and it’s clear when he raises his brows in expectancy, lighthearted and jokeful. 

To your embarrassment, your cheeks tint pink and you don’t have enough pride to return his stare. The only thing you can really do is stammer severely and point at your purse. “J-Just put some on and leave me alone.” 

He hands you a hearty and genuine laugh and you only try your best to ignore it, lips curving the same until you force them to stop from going any higher. 

-

“Holy shit,” you gape. “It’s huge.” 

“They’re loaded.” 

“I-I can’t go in this, Jungkook.” 

“You couldn’t have told me this before we went on a whole road trip and had me prepay tickets for a ferry ride here?” 

You hit his arm. “Jungkook, I’m serious.” 

He laughs. “Why exactly can’t you? It’s just a beach house.” 

“This is too big for a six year old! A few candles from the fucking mall is never going to pay off the fact they are letting us have it for the weekend.”

“With their advision,” he reminds. Yeona stirs in her sleep from the backseat and Jungkook pins you a look. “Can we get out now?” 

You hesitate. “How are you okay without thinking about being possibly indebted to Seokjin and Namjoon? First, they put out a car for us to drive here when we arrived, and now we’re staying in this? We’re being pampered.” 

“Because I’ve been leeching off of Seokjin since I was a teenager, _____,” he states, nimbly remembering when he would depend on a few meals paid from him and even to now - being roommates with the older man. “He’s fine with it. He offered first, after all. We’re just following orders,” he defends so easily. 

Reluctantly, you climb out of the car, crossed arms from your chest, heading towards the back to take out your daughter from her carseat. With a soft nudge and a kiss to her cheek, her eyes shot back open with the realization that this was the last stop, that she was finally here. “M-Mommy, look!” 

“I know,” you coo, “I was just as shocked as you are now.” 

She moves quickly, already releasing the buckle and sliding down to the car floor. She still requests to be picked up like a princess when her arms span out for you, and of course, you oblige. 

“Jungkook,” you call. “Are you getting the bags?” 

The trunk shuts, keys jingling in his hand, “Already on it.” 

When you reach the porch, Yeona eagerly leans towards the right of the door to ring the bell. 

It only takes three seconds for Kim Seokjin to open it with a wide smile. “Welcome!” 

Yeona squeals, legs kicking all over the place and you finally set her down for her to enter first. Not before giving her uncle’s leg a big squeeze of her own, “Thank you, Uncle Jinnie! Love it so much!” 

He chuckles, smoothing down her hair, “Anything for the birthday girl! You haven’t even taken a look around yet, sweetheart. Go find Uncle Joon and he’ll show you everything.” 

“Okay!” Her form is only a blur when she rushes out. 

He smiles. “You guys are on time,” and he says it like it’s a complete surprise. 

A brow arches. “When are we not?” 

“New years,” he recalls. “You both made it five minutes late after the countdown.” 

Jungkook slips behind you to set the bags down. “That’s not fair.” 

You agree. “Yeona was two years old that year. She had a hard time handling the fireworks. I had to coax her to sleep through the phone that night.” 

His head tilts in reason, “Fair.” 

Jungkook nudges you. “Where do you want these?” 

You shrug, turning to Seokjin. “Depends where you want us, Jin.” 

“It’s up to you guys. Taehyung and Jimin already took two of the guest rooms. There’s only three more.” 

“Kiumin is sleeping over, so they can have one room,” you calculate. “And Hyejin’s coming with Kiumin, so we can split.” 

The older man stares wide-eyed at his roommate. Jungkook stares back with the same expression, so Seokjin asks for him, “Split?”

You’re too busy with some of the messages on your phone regarding birthday wishes to your daughter, vaguely returning them with typed out thank you’s and kissy faces. “Yeah.” 

“Does that mean you and—“

You send him an odd stare before turning around and grabbing onto your own bags, disregarding Jungkook’s. “Of course not—? I’m rooming with Hyejin and Jungkook can have the extra room to himself.”

“.. Right.” 

“Is it this way?” You ask without a clue to the men behind you. 

“Uh, yeah! Let me help you,” Seokjin rushes. 

Jungkook is left at the doorway, all alone and with his own bags and a fuming heart that drags as if the slim possibility of what would have happened was anything more to go by.

-

It’s nighttime now. 

You’ve directed Hyejin to your room and have let her unpack while you watched over Yeona and her little boy. 

Your knees bend into a crouch, the familiar smell of chlorine filling your senses when you near the water. 

Jungkook's hair flicks back when his fingers push through them and the blue rays of the water reflect against his chest. His collarbones glisten against the minimal light the night provides, making it harder to strictly set your eyes forward and stray away from anything that wasn’t his own. 

“You couldn’t have waited a second for everyone to settle in before dipping into the pool?” 

He pouts. “Why?”

Head tilting, you pin him a stare and direct your eyesight towards the pink floatie in the corner, swaying calmly. “Because Yeona’s been eyeing that giant flamingo and now she’s asking to hop in with you.” 

“Let her in, then. Namjoon’s already here.”

Your head turns to the outdoor bar and they pin the figure reading a book with amusement when he sends off a small wave. 

“But then Kiumin..” 

Hyejin walks in with a relaxed sigh at the sight in front of her when she passes through the widened double-doors. “Too bad it’s nighttime. I could’ve been tanning.” 

“Hyejin!” You gawk at her bikini. “You’re going in too?” 

She nods in an obvious answer. “Kiumin’s been begging me to let him jump in since we’ve gotten here, and with a view like this — how could I say no?” 

Jungkook points. “See? Our friend is obviously taking the advantage of being here.” 

“We are way far from friends, Jeon,” she practically snarls back. “It’s almost insulting when you say it like that.” 

“Hyejin,” you warn, and turn back to the man standing in the waist-deep side of the pool now. 

Ignoring your friend’s hatred fueled statements, he coaxes. “Come on,” he lulls. “Taehyung and Jimin are already planning to jump in too.” 

Your head shakes in decline, “I can’t. I didn’t even pack a swimsuit, only Yeona’s.” 

“I have one laying out for you in the room,” Hyejin pitches and your eyes widen significantly. “It’s the one I’ve been meaning to give you.” 

“Perfect!” Seokjin claps by the doors, tray full of glasses and the two children following right behind him. “We can start having a pool party!” They immediately cheer and your mind starts to reel in defeat. 

You rub your arms shyly, “I-I’m fine. I don’t really feel like swimming right now..” 

Hyejin snorts. “Don’t even lie. We used to be obsessed with the pool when we were kids. We can do it again for old times’ sake! Show our kids where they got it from.” 

“Literally, what does that have to do with anything in wanting to swim? Aren’t kids naturally drawn to the pool, because it’s a pool?” You grit. 

“I’m just saying to take the chance and relax,” she stresses and her arms extend, waving around carelessly. “We’re here!” 

“You’re going to miss out if you don’t get in,” Jungkook bets, and he knows how much you despise being the outsider while everyone had their share of fun. You loathed the plain idea of it. “Just put the bikini on and stop being a pussy.”

“J-Jungkook!” 

Childish. Absolutely childish.

You hear footsteps approaching right behind you, the vow reaching your ears. “I’ll only jump in if we do it together.” 

Taehyung’s head shakes side to side, eyes narrowing at the shorter man with apprehension. “You pull back every fucking time we do it. I won’t fall for it again.”

Jungkook’s throat clears at the two and he orders his friends, “Tell _____ to get in the pool.” 

Taehyung’s brow furrows, “She doesn’t want to? It’s the pool—and we’re in Jeju!” 

You stubbornly shake your head. “Don’t care.” 

Jimin has a teasing glint in his eye, something you dislike a lot when it’s crystal clear he has something stirring up in his sick head of his, especially since Taehyung had turned down the proposal of his playful and expectant joke.

“We can—grab her and push her in?” He suggests. 

“That’s elementary school shit, Jimin,” you warn. “Get away from me.” 

He’s inching closer and you’re nervously sputtering for Jungkook, helplessly calling for him to get his friend from throwing you in the water so carelessly. 

Luckily, a small hand grapples onto you and it’s Yeona with eager feet who stops Jimin in his tracks. “Mommy, t-the pink birdie!” 

You have a staring contest with it, the one side of the floating flamingo’s eye stares back at you and you exhale a puff before finally standing back up. “Alright, come on. Let’s get dressed.” 

-

The white bikini on you terrifies you enough to cross your arms over yourself and skirt around the edge of the pool until you reach the chairs where Hyejin sits. 

No one’s noticed yet. Not when Jungkook and the rest were already in the pool, putting on the floaties for the children who sat on the pathed ledges made of stone. At some point, you can see both of Jungkook’s eyes completely wiped out and squeezed shut when Yeona excitedly flaps her arms around the water, hyper to get in. 

“Hyejin,” you hiss out, finally reaching your friend. 

She hums with furrowed brows, too distracted in trying to connect her phone to the bluetooth speaker. 

“Why in the world would you give me something like this. I-It’s too much,” you whimper out weakly. 

Her eyes roll back. “It’s a bikini, _____. Remember those? I bet you look great—“ She screeches, chin dropping, hands hovering over her mouth. You flinch, just as shocked as she was, shushing her to shut up before anyone even has the chance in blinking your way. 

“Holy shit.” 

Eyes squeezing shut, you shy in on yourself, carefully taking the wooden pool-chair beside her. “Please, shut up.” 

Her arms raise, “I haven’t said anything—yet.” 

You scowl. “You seriously couldn’t have given me any other fucking set? Like a wetsuit? This is too weird for me.” 

She cackles. “Relax,” she attempts to ease. “Why are you so freaked out? It’s just a swimsuit.” 

Your head knocks back against the wood and you sigh tiredly. “It’s been way too long since I’ve worn something like this. Something not.. Mom-ish.” 

“And why not? This literally proves how much of a Milf you really are!” She stresses. 

You shrug shyly. “I haven’t had much of a reason to.” 

“Well, I’m begging you to. Seriously, _____,” she reassures. 

You quietly break into a laugh, smacking at her arm harshly. 

“Where’s mommy?” You hear Jungkook suddenly ask, and you think you’re a hundred percent fucked. 

Yeona’s voice is muffled against your ex-husband’s chest, incoherently explaining, “Mommy was already running away when we got outside.” 

“Running away?” 

“Yeah! Kind’ve like a ninja. She was there and then—poof!” 

You don’t even announce your bathroom break to Hyejin, standing up and rushing over towards the doors that were close yet so far away.

It would only be a second before you would reach it, and straight into changing back to the sundress that was always deemed as safe. 

Part of you wishes that you could parade around with no care, being so long since you’ve gone out in something like this. But another part that tears you completely, thinks about Kim Seol and how different she is compared to you. 

With stark personalities and looks, you most likely would have never even thought about comparing you from her. But now that Jungkook was going out with her, everything’s changed, and your mind reels into thinking how in the world he had the chance of going to someone else completely different from you, and if he even liked you in the first place, relationship and marriage long forgotten, not even being considered in this context. 

You weren’t exactly sure how long this feeling would last, and maybe it wouldn’t, sticking to all of the new relationships he would continue to open up now that he was available. 

Sure, he’s seen you plenty of times in bed and in the shower from the past years of being together. But this is now and before he had anything younger, more vibrant. 

This was possibly the only thing you could take away from him. Seeing anything physical to compare you with another was the only thing you truly, absolutely wished for. 

You accidentally collide against something. Hard and wide. 

And when you eventually look up, you’re relieved to only find Namjoon with a bag of chips in hand. 

“Shit, are you okay?” 

“I-I’m fine, Joon. Sorry for—running?” 

He chuckles, pointing back to his boyfriend back inside of the house. “Save it for the lifeguard, but he’s off-duty right now mixing margaritas for everyone.”

You attempt to let out the same energy of a laugh as his, but it all turns dry and brittle, making him halt and inspect. “You okay, _____?” 

“O-Of course I am.” 

A few murmurs are made at the back of your figure until a small voice calls out, “Mommy! Over here!” 

Letting out a small gasp, you reluctantly turn around, weakly mustering a smile and avoiding the eyes that officially lay on you when he notices. 

“Hi, baby.” 

“Mommy!” She splashes. “Swim with me and daddy!” 

“U-Uh..”

“Looks like your daughter wants you to get in the pool.”

Turning back to Namjoon, you stiffly nod, “Yeah.” 

“If you’re worried about the temperature, don’t worry. It’s heated.” 

Far from your true concern, you manage to give him a thumbs-up and head back to the very place you’ve been trying to escape. 

“I’ll be there in a minute, okay? Let me go get Aunt Hyejin first.” It’s truly for your sake more than for hers, a cry for help in a situation you could have easily avoided if you had just never put the bikini on. “I hate this,” you managed to mutter against your breath when you finally reached her. “I’m never listening to you ever again.” 

She yelps when you rip the towel away from her, tugging tightly at her arm, urging her to get up. “Hey!” She pouts. 

“Come on,” you order. “Yeona wants to swim and I am not doing this alone.” 

She sits up and observes, quietly biting on a sly chuckle when she notices. 

“What now?” 

“Nothing,” she waves off. “It’s just—your ex is making googly eyes right now.” 

You groan, stomping impatiently. “Hyejin, stop lying and get up.” 

“I’m not lying,” she pleads. “I swear — I’m looking at him right now!” 

“I don’t care,” you deadpan. 

When she finally stands, you put a death-grip on her arm and timidly walk towards the pool. 

“Ouch.”

“Sorry,” you sheepishly say, releasing a bit. 

It’s a pleasant feeling when the warm water wets the bottom surface of your feet, and your shoulders subconsciously relax when your waist-deep. 

Hyejin coos at her little boy, proud of her son when she watches Jimin help, something more in her eyes that go starry at the man who leads him through the water. 

“Thanks, Hyejin,” you whisper.

“Ah, don’t worry about it,” she pats softly at your arm. “I know how nervous you are and all. Just don’t, okay? You’ll be fine.” 

You weakly smile at her again before finally sending her off. 

When she moves out of your view and directly towards Jimin and her son, you find Yeona eagerly waiting for you. 

Taehyung has his eyes blown at the sight of you, whistling with your name trapped between his lips, which exactly makes you wrap your arms tighter around yourself. Of course, he’s teasing, the natural flirt in him most likely powering over him. 

Fortunately, you’re saved when he gets whacked with a strong push of water, Jungkook’s doing. You don’t notice it when your daughter cutely dog-paddles towards you. 

All is forgotten, smile setting on your lips.

“Mommy! Stay right there, okay? I’ll swim to you.” 

“Oh,” you perk, arms already rising beneath the water. With the long distance, you subtly move forward when her legs kick to make it easier on her, and within a few seconds, she’s splashing against your arms with a squeal. 

You giggle. “Are you having fun?” 

“So much, mommy!” She exclaims. “Daddy threw me up high when I wanted a splash.” 

You gasp with a smile, nerves diminishing. “Really? I wish I was there to see it.” 

“Are you too cold?” A voice asks from behind her and you hesitantly face Jungkook, always polite and concerned for your well-being, except there was definitely something else in his eyes you weren’t able to pinpoint and didn’t bother to anyway, now that you were in the water. 

You stiffly smile and shake your head. “I’m fine. The water feels really nice.” 

He nods. “T-That’s good.” 

God, he feels like it’s high school all over again, having no utter idea in starting a conversation with a girl, wanting to, but not even knowing exactly how.

Still, he can’t stop the burning stare, even when your attention zeroes back in on Yeona. 

The nice music sets a comforting nuance around the place, hearing splashes coming from everywhere, specifically when Seokjin’s yelling resonates from the chairs when Taehyung targets him with a cheeky grin. 

“The slices of watermelon are here, you dick!” He scowls. 

Jimin butts in with a scold to the older man, telling him to censor his words around the children. 

Jungkook doesn’t have time to hear the continued argument when he’s hit with an expectant splash of water of his own. 

He doesn’t even need to ask a second later when he hears the both of you giggling. Wiping away the drops on his face and in his eyes, he brushes strands of hair back to get a good look at the satisfied looks on both of your faces. He approaches slowly. 

Your head shakes, already aware of what Jungkook was doing — getting his revenge. 

“I-It was Yeonie’s idea!” 

She only giggles louder, knowing fully well she would easily be the untouched one out of this. 

“Jungkook, I swear to god if you do anything to me-“ 

Your warning goes straight out when strong arms turn you around to face your daughter. Fully wrapping them around your form for a slim chance of being able to escape, you hear a soft chuckle against your ear. 

“I think it’d be fun to splash mommy, huh?” He teases and you tense. 

“Jungkook—!” 

“Yeah, let’s do it!” She pumps a tiny fist from out of the water.

“Sweetheart, no! Listen to me-“

Your nose scrunches, hair whipping with you to cover your face when she splashes. Jungkook helps along the way by releasing an arm and moving some of the water forward against you to hit you square in the face. His wave comes stronger and does an excellent  job at soaking you completely.

You gasp, wiping some of the water away from your face. “Okay, please, I���m sorry,” you whine, gripping his wrists softly, eyes squeezed shut.

He falters at the frail sight of you, easily making you his biggest weakness. 

“It’s okay, mommy,” Yeona speaks up first. “I forgive you.” 

“Hey!” You scoff with a pout. “It wasn’t even my idea.” 

Her eyes crease and she giggles loudly. 

“_____!” Hyejin suddenly calls, and your chin tilts up to find your best friend. “Kiumin wants to play with the birthday girl.” 

Yeona eagerly looks up at you and you simply nod with a smile, letting her small legs kick and float over to her best friend. 

“Ah,” you realize, now being all alone. “I think I should go now.” 

Still, with his arms wrapped around you, he leans closer, “What, why?” And it’s needy, wanting to pull you closer than what he already has. “Can’t you stay?”

“Yeona’s all the way over there and we’re..” Exes with barely anything to talk about or to get along in general. It wasn’t in the book you’ve written out for yourself and probably never will be. “I-I have to get her cake ready. Your mom worked really hard on it.”

“I’ll help you put the candles on it,” he quickly offers. “Just.. Just stay here with me for a while.” 

A brow raises and you turn in his arms. “And do what?” 

He feigns in thinking about it, sharp jaw tilting for you to settle your eyes on. 

Seokjin interrupts with a call of his name and a raised brow at the sight. 

You clear your tight throat and gulp when he hands Jungkook a towel. “Your phone is ringing,” and then carefully gives it to him over the water. 

You observe him as he answers. “Hello?” 

A female voice is heard on the other end and you sense the way he pulls back a bit, that it was Seol. Her muffled voice is enough to push you back into reality and to what exactly you were doing before the call. 

“Ah, hey..” He awkwardly greets, nodding to whatever she was saying. Your head turns away when his eyes land on yours and you feign interest at the potted plant set right next to the door that led inside. “I’m at the house now with.. Everyone else.” 

He chokes up a bit when she says another thing, and you don’t understand until he returns the words. 

“I—I miss you too.” 

Swallowing harshly, your expression hardens, and you begin to pull back. 

“I’ll call you later tonight, alright?” He assures, almost in a rush. Your ears catch some of her words, not really interested in any of the conversation anyway, wanting to create a distance between you and Jungkook before anything else would happen, before you would hear something else you wouldn’t want to be hearing at all. 

Finally hanging up, he takes a slow breath in and sets the phone at the side of the pool. 

You finally pull away from him completely. 

“_____.”

You give a curt smile. “Yeah?” 

His head shakes. “Nothing. It’s just.. Are you okay?” 

You nod, slightly with bewildering eyes, asking, “Why wouldn’t I be?” Then, you laugh softly. “We’re not married anymore, Jungkook.” He stiffens, jaw ticking and eyes shifting to catch your flat expression. “And from what I clearly remember — you’re seeing someone else.” You point towards the phone laying carelessly on top of the stone. 

For once, you feel bad for the poor girl who’s probably wondering when his goodnight text from him would be. 

You keep your eyes on his hands that sink and submerge into the water, and back to his sides. 

“Just because it’s our daughter's birthday does not entail us playing family again,” you mumble. “You took that all away from me two years ago, Jungkook.” 

He doesn’t say anything, shamefully looking down at the waves in the pool caused by Yeona a few feet away. A reminder that was given way too late. 

You nod again, turning slowly around. “I’m going to go get the cake ready. I’ll ask Hyejin to help.” 

With the distance you’ve given him, he finally looks up and finds a disapproving look being given by his own roommate, who had seen and observed every single second of the two of you together since being in the pool. 

He understood exactly why. 

-

Everybody eventually makes their way out of the pool and back into the house to hang out at. 

The same subtle music speakers through the house, the kids being fully entertained by the large television in the living room, and the inside of the house being overall in a mood and feeling that definitely differs from your own thoughts that constantly circle around your head. 

Whatever Jungkook was getting at in the pool, definitely wasn’t sitting with you right. And frankly, everything leading up to it too. 

The process of the divorce was already stripping and tiring enough, finalizing the documents and who would get exactly what was already overwhelming enough, but to throw all of that away and not even consider it when you’re wrapped in the arms you were so accustomed to was entirely stressful. 

It didn’t make sense. It never did when it came to him. 

“Yeonie, are you getting sleepy already?” You ask across the room from the kitchen as you watch your little girl yawn and squirm on top of the fluffy carpet she lays on. 

Her head stubbornly shakes with a pout set on her lips. 

Glancing at the clock sat beside her, it was only eight, but judging from the exertion taken place at the pool, Yeona must have been exhausted. 

Your feet move to where she lays lazily, crouching down and moving her towards your lap, you murmur, “Stay awake for me, baby. You haven’t even blown the candles or opened your presents yet.”

She yawns in protest and nuzzles her nose further into your neck. “Not even a nap?” 

Chuckling softly, probably making it worse for her when your fingers trace against her back, you repeat, “Not even a nap.” Saying it exactly knowing what that would entail, Yeona misinterpreting what a nap and sleep was more often than not. 

Jungkook comes back with damp hair and sweats, black socks shuffling through the floor until they reach you. 

“Hey,” you greet, looking down at the sleepy-head in your arms. “She’s tired.” 

He hums, crouching down with an endeared smile. “I can see.” 

“I swear,” you promise to Yeona, patting her back. “Dinner is almost done and then you can go to sleep, alright?” Your eyes search for Jungkook’s and you request, “Keep her awake while I get everything ready?” 

His arms stretch and extend out, and you pass off the small body in your arms. 

His lips instinctively purse to a gentle shush and rocks her gently when he feels her squirm. 

You glare. “I said keep her awake, not encourage her to count the sheep.” 

He winces. “This is new! Usually I’m doing the exact opposite.” He lifts her head, and begins his futile attempts in keeping her eyes open. “Alright, sweetheart. What mommy says, it always goes, so you’re going to have to help me out here, okay?” 

She mumbles incoherently. 

“Come on,” he nudges, “Up.” 

“Play that dancing game she likes,” you suggest. 

Taehyung from the couch, perks at that. “God, I love that game,” inputting himself in the conversation and inviting himself a second later, “Please count me in.”

“You think they have any games like that for kids?” He specifies with a swift look at his friend and Taehyung sends a throw pillow his way. 

Seokjin quickly dissipates it with a scold of how much the pillows cost and which country they were exactly from.

You eye the bar full of wires and game controllers, easily making the assumption quickly, “With the eight different consoles I’m staring at, they must.” 

His head dips down. “How does that sound, baby? You want to dance?” 

Yeona’s completely untouchable when she’s grumpy, so it doesn’t come to a surprise when her arms reels back to try to smack her father away from talking to her anymore. 

Luckily, he dodges it. 

But as her eyes open wider and catches an eyeful of Jungkook dancing along with Kiumin and Taehyung twenty minutes later, she ends up joining them in the end, the same jittery moves she first walked in with. 

You pull Hyejin out of her light conversation with Jimin, opting to question her tinted cheeks for later when it would be time to head to bed. 

Of course, Hyejin will want to pry whenever and wherever, deeming it acceptable when it’s noisy enough with the conversations and laughs airing through it. “Want to talk about it?” Hyejin, located beside you who unwraps the carefully decorated box, asks carefully. 

You feign cluelessness to the subject. “Not sure about what.” 

She pins you a stare. “Come on. I saw what happened. Everybody did.”

Shrugging, you grab the candles, sticking them carefully, three on top and three at the bottom. You would’ve gotten the actual number six, but Jungkook had argued that it would be more fun for your daughter to blow as many candles as she can, the singular candle not being enough for a kid’s satisfaction. 

“I don’t know,” you start unsurely. “It’s just weird, is all. It’s always hot and cold when I’m with him — having weird moments happen every so often and reminding him where the line starts and ends, and then acting perfectly poised when Yeona’s there.” 

Her back hits the counter as she leans, arms crossed and head shaking. “This needs to stop, _____,” she says honestly. “He can’t keep going back and forth like this, completely forgetting everything else that happened — you’re broken up for a reason.” 

“Forget it,” you dismiss with a bite to your lip. “It’s not like I stopped him on time. For a second, I forgot about everything too.” 

She’s visibly stumped, stern expression faltering and letting the silence bloom, other than the outdated pop music and stomping in the background. 

“_____..”

“I’m not going to sit here and blame him for every little thing that I could have controlled myself if I just stayed in my own lane,” distressed hands and fingers pull against your hair and you sigh out, eyes closing shut and feet swaying a little. The throbbing in your head continues and pulls at you venomously, like it couldn’t get enough from the first time. 

Hyejin’s eyes widen and she rushes over to you in full concern. “Babe, are you okay?” 

You nod, even if your furrowed brows clearly show the opposite. “Of course,” you pass off, eyes darting to the same place they’ve been at all night. 

He’s still dancing and smiling.

“He’s not my husband anymore.”

And you say it again, wanting it to stick inside of your head until it fully processes, that it’s your fault just as much as his, for playing against the papers and agreements you’ve spent so many nights and days over. A constant reminder for the rest of your life, and not the other. Not the one that consists of vows and promises. Never that one anymore. 

You muster a quick smile, turning to her gaping mouth who yearns to reach out, but you refuse it when you turn the corner, beginning to set everything up at the main table. 

“Is the birthday girl ready?” Your voice drags, upbeat lilt feigning the pounding in your head. 

High pitched squeals resound from the main room and their small feet bounce against the hardwood. 

Jungkook follows suit. 

“Me!” Yeona calls excitedly, “It’s me, Mommy!” 

“Woah,” Kiumin gapes. “You’re cake is awesome, Yeonie!” 

She giggles and hops on her tippy-toes to get a peek, “Thanks! My grandma made it.” 

“Oh,” Kiumin nods. “She’s awesome.” 

You chuckle softly at the kids, smiling down at the cute cake. You go to pull out your phone for pictures and videos to make sure she would see her work being fully appreciated. 

Jungkook hoists Yeona up on the chair, her lifted cheeks and glittering eyes proving her excitement when she sees the candles already lit. 

“Has it already been six years, already?” Seokjin asks in disbelief, plates and forks already in his hand to set down on the table. 

You nod, pouting and squishing one of her cheeks, “Already a big girl.” 

Yeona hums, “Basically a grown-up now!” 

Hyejin bursts in laughter, everybody following right behind. 

“Alright,” Jungkook sighs, arms circling around her softly, placing a kiss on the top of her head. Fondly staring down at his rapidly growing little girl, the same feeling you hold to your chest. “Don’t need to rub it into our faces, miss.” 

Your camera clicks on its own, a fond smile subconsciously forming. 

“Are we ready to sing?” Namjoon timidly asks. You turn to find him weary at the sight on the wax that begins to drip rapidly. “It’s just—the candles are starting to melt.” 

You laugh, nodding. “Alright, let’s sing.” 

It starts off normal, a little bit muted, until Kiumin bursts into a full performance for his best friend. Until Seokjin follows along and throws in an impromptu dance routine. Her father and the others join in right after, impressed at how eerily good it actually looked, almost looking rehearsed. But then you familiarize yourself with the sharp moves, the hands and arms showcasing that it was the corny traffic dance Seokjin taught them all a few years back on one drunk night.

Until eventually everybody does their best in throwing Yeona in a fit of giggles. 

You join her side and guide her into making a wish, clamping her hands shut and scrunching her eyes closed, until the commotion quiets and she opens her eyes with hopefulness written all over it. 

Kiumin is the first to question through the silence. “What’d you wish for, Yeonie?” 

She simply smiles, glancing at you from her side, and then moving her gaze straight to Jungkook. 

She subtly shakes her head, voice so soft, almost completely blurred into a whisper, “If I tell you, it’ll never come true.”

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hi, i’m back omg. i had to take some time away bc midway of finishing this up, literally a few paragraphs away, i ended up having my mental health spiral down. but now, i’m better and managed to finish this part.

also please tell me ur thoughts! i crave validation n use ur feedback as my fuel towards anything i write. :]

* .✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*. * .✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.*｡･ﾟ✫*.* .✫*ﾟ･ﾟ｡.☆.