#I’m joking please don’t take this seriously

[dollarbils]

tell me i’m your only fan | b.eilish

billie eilish x fem!reader

context. your most active fan on onlyfans soon piqued your interest as she became something much more.

warnings. phone sex, ofstar!reader, (i probably made up half of the features on onlyfans)

request masterlist

regardless of the public opinion, you quite liked your job. you’d made the switch to onlyfans just recently, finding it a much more comfortable platform, and most importantly: much more profitable.

most of your ‘fans’ so to say were the regular dynamic of people you’d expect. rich, older men with nothing better to spend all their money on. but curiously, a huge part of your audience was women. in particular one woman. your favourite, you’d call her. she’d been subscribed for about a month now, consistently watching your uploads and streams. often taking the spotlight as well, sending gifts and paying large amounts of money for personalised content. but what seriously did it for you, was when she bought your entire wish list five minutes after you’d published it, requesting a special ‘unboxing’ of everything she’d bought you.

naturally, it didn’t take long for you to start talking. it was difficult to remember she was one of your fans, your conversations straying far away from anything you’d ever talked to a fan about. she seemed to care about you, take interest in your personal life. and once you’d gotten wrapped up, it was almost too easy to get attached.

“god just keep speaking, baby.” her voice was almost a whine, as she relished in your soft laughter and emotive expression.

“how are you always turned on?” you remarked somewhat as a joke, knowing it was true though.

“i’m talking to the woman i jerk off to, i think it’s justified.” she never failed to be bold, often taking you by surprise.

“well you’ll find my recent uploads have been the outcome of what some would call a ‘muse’. you’re quite sexy yourself, babe.” she groaned and it went straight to your core, the familiar pulse settling in.

“jesus. it’s like your tryna make be bust a nut in my pants right now.” the masculinity to her words only made them more filthy, urging you to rile her up some more.

“i won’t deny it.” she chuckled, a momentary pause before she sighed.

“i bet you tell that to all of them, huh? your fans, they all think they got lucky, that your reserved for them.” her words stung quite a bit, knowing the truth was far from it.

“hardly, it was pretty stupid of me to give you my number. i’d take it as a sign that you did get lucky.” she almost scoffed at your words.

“i’m going to need to cut back on the glazing if your gonna act like this.” she was serious now, testing the waters before committing.

“oh yeah? tell me what’s so wrong with my behaviour.” a low sound from the back of her throat revealed the success of your words. clearly it was turning her on.

“you’re really testing me, baby. you can’t even imagine what i’d do if i was there with you right now.” you felt a pool in your underwear forming, liking how this was going.

“please, tell me.” her breath hitched, her confidence faltering slightly. but when she spoke again you’d never have questioned her confidence.

“i’d treat you like what you are. a fucking slut.” her filthy words only turned you on more, your skin tingling at the sound of her heavy breaths through the phone speaker.

“oh yeah? and what are you gonna do about it? you’re not here, you cant stop me from doing anything.” she chuckled, a mocking tone following.

“oh please angel, it’s cute you think so. i bet your hand is doing some filthy things as we speak. am i turning you on, baby?” your hand stopped at your lower stomach in an act of a sort of shame, your breaths quickening.

“i’m guessing the silence means i’m right. don’t deny yourself babe, touch yourself for me.” you couldn’t help but follow her demands, seeking your own pleasure along with your submission.

“fuck.” she laughed softly, again, enjoying the vocal effect she was having on you.

“you’re gonna kill me angel.” a smile formed on your lips, as you continued pumping your own fingers into your heat.

“tell me i’m your only fan.” her words were seductive, a plea to recognise her as more than a fan.

“you’re my favourite fan.” your reply seemed to satisfy her as she sunk deeper into her mattress, the sheets ruffling through the phone as she bit back a moan.

“are you close?” she mumbled, evidently riddled with her own sweat release.

“fuck, y-yeah.” you stuttered, the heat of the moment taking over, fogging up your senses.

“i like that title, favourite fan. sure seems well deserved, doesn’t it.”

“more than well deserved.” you huffed, slightly out of breath as you chuckled into the phone.

[4allthefours4]

It’s 2025, you know what that means?

Some smutty shit for our Star Boy Hoshiko

Minors DNI

⚠️Warnings⚠️ Smut w/ plot, star baby, sex toy, light choking, light bdsm, male reader

“Can you.. choke me next time..?”

Hoshiko stares at you in utter disbelief. What started as a cute pre-New Years outing had turned into you exploring a sex shop. He was fine with it, he loved finding new ways to pleasure you, but your blunt question had caught him off guard.

He noticed you eyeing up some of the more.. intense stuff and offered to try them, but as he reached to feel a flog you had blurted out your question.

“I- what?” His shock soon faded, leaving a deep red hue on his cheeks.

“Can you try choking me?”

Hoshiko loved you more than anything, and as a result he’d do almost anything for you. However, he was worried he’d hurt you if he got lost in the moment.

“Are you- are you sure it’s safe?” He questions, running a hand down your side, resting it on your waist, “I don’t want to accidentally hurt you.”

You chuckle, pecking him in the cheek.

“You don’t have to, I just heard it’s supposed to make you feel really good, and well… wanted to try it with you.”

Hoshiko gives you a gentle smile, cupping your cheek with his free hand. He kisses your forehead, waving you off to look in the store by yourself.

“I’d do anything for you.”

And, as you run off to look at some interesting lubes, Hoshiko beelines towards the cashier. The man takes in a deep breath, attempting to calm his burning cheeks before speaking.

“Do any of you know how to uh… choke.. someone..” his voice dies mid-question, the cashiers smiling at his -or smirking, it was hard to tell- shy demeanor.

“I can refer you to a bdsm class.” One of them speaks, “Or if you’d prefer, some videos.”

Hoshiko contemplates the pros and cons before deciding, “The class please.” He wanted to be as sure as humanly possible he’d do it right.

And so, for the next few weeks, Hoshiko attended a bdsm class. It was recommended he brought you with him, but he wanted to surprise you.

And then, the day finally came when he felt he was ready.

“Y/n!” Hoshiko calls out, entering your shared apartment. (Your poor neighbors)

You smile in your spot in the couch, a crochet project being tossed to the side as you walk towards the door.

“Hi Hoshi.” You whisper, kissing the man.

Hoshiko’s yellow eyes glimmer with something you don’t quite recognize as he brings out a bag from behind his back.

“I got you a gift.” He smiles.

You grin, eagerly opening the bag. You pull out a package of two nipple clamps, ones you had been eyeing the last time you went to the sex shop. You kiss the albino on the cheek, noticing a paper inside the bag aswell. You pull it out, revealing a certificate.

‘Congratulations! You are ready to take action and live the BDSM life of your dreams! (With extreme Caution)’

You chuckle at the object, “Is this a joke? It’s cute.”

“I- no.. uh.. Remember when you asked me if I could choke you.. while we.. do it..?”

You hum, looking up at your boyfriend. His face is beet red as he fiddle with his fingers. The sight is adorable.

“Well.. I took a bdsm class and they said I’m ready to.. try choking..”

You have to stop yourself from bursting out in laughter at his statement. You hadn’t realized he took it so seriously.

“Well? You wanna do it?”

You gasp as Hoshiko sucks your dick, teasing the head just the way you like it.

You’re lying on the bed, nipple clamps gently pinching your buds. Your boyfriend is busy pleasing you, making you see stars.

“Mm, Hoshii,” You whine, “pleasee.”

Hoshiko gives your length a long lick before sitting up. He crawls over you, mouth covered in a mix of his saliva and your precum as he gives his own cock a few gentle tugs.

He grabs a bottle of lube, squeezing some over your begging hole as he inserts two fingers. You whine as he stretches you out, pushing yourself into his fingers for more.

“Be patient, dear. I don’t want to hurt you.” You shudder as he brushes over your prostate.

Hoshiko’s eyes focus on your twitching hole as he stretches you, eyes flickering toward yours every now and then. After a good minute or two, he removes his fingers.

You whine at the loss, eyes practically lighting up as he lines up with you. He brushes some hair from your face, kissing your nose before slowly thrusting in.

Your breath leaves you at the intrusion, a lewd sound leaving you as he bottoms out.

“God, you just get better and better.” He hisses.

Hoshiko’s eyes stare at your nipples as he looks toward your face. He doesn’t move, silently asking for permission.

You nod as he tightens the clamps, the stinging sensation growing ever so slightly. The albino admires your body for a moment before pulling out.

“I love you, so much Y/n.” He whispers, connecting with your lips.

You moan into the kiss as he thrusts back in, continuing to thrust at a steady pace. You feel a hand reach for yours neck, gently rubbing circles in your Adam’s apple.

“Such a handsome boy.” He whispers.

Hoshiko’s thrusts increase in pace as he puts a gentle pressure on your neck. He presses the sides, making you the tiniest bit light headed.

His shock is evident as your sounds grow louder and more desperate. It was clear his choking was affecting you, and he couldn’t be happier. More pressure is applied to your neck, Hoshiko’s thrusts growing near animalistic.

You adored when he’d lose himself. He’d start prioritizing his own pleasure, allowing you to watch his face contort from composed to absolutely disheveled.

You gasp as his other hand presses in your sore nipple.

God he felt so good inside of you.

“My precious boy, god the things you do to me.” Hoshiko grunts out.

A hand raises one of your legs, pushing your knee towards your face. Your eyes roll at the new position, his head repeatedly hitting that spot that makes you see stars.

You moan, gripping his hair as you take it. He grunts at the feeling of your fingers scraping against his scalp, pulling the hair just enough to give him a bit of pain.

“Hoshi~ fuck.” You moan.

Hoshiko lowers his face to yours, catching your lips in another kiss as his grip on your neck tightens.

You feel yourself growing more lightheaded as your orgasm slowly approaches. You buck your hips against his, pushing him just a bit deeper.

You feel his dick throb against your insides, the hand holding you’re up moving in favor of your own throbbing member. His movements are quick and precise as he tugs on your length.

You nearly scream into the kiss as the knot in your stomach grows tighter before finally snapping. Roles of white cover both of your stomachs as he continues, letting you ride out your high.

Hoshiko parts from your lips, a moan leaving him as his brows furrow. You feel him pull out as he releases on your stomach, your release mixing with his.

His grip loosens from your neck as he pulls away, staring at the red marks on either side.

“Sorry.. I-“ he take sin a breath, eyes landing on yours, “I think I enjoyed that a little too much.”

You chuckle and hiss as he removes the nipple clamps, gasping as he gives the numbs a few gentle licks.

“I love you so much, Hoshi.” You whisper.

“I love you most, Y/n.” He kisses yours temple, standing up to get a rag.

You slowly drift into dreamland as you watch him wipe you down, pressing one last kiss in your lips before you finally close your eyes.

[magical-reid]

A Twist of Fate

Pairing: Fred Weasley x Reader (Uses Y/N a couple times)

Word count: 900

Prompts: 5: “Did you just tell the person I was gonna go out with that we’re dating?” 

36: “Take my jacket, I don’t want you catching a cold.”

Summary: Fred Weasley interrupts your evening by claiming you're dating, revealing his jealousy and affection for you in a moment of unexpected vulnerability. Despite his misguided approach, you admit you care for him too, and the two of you begin to navigate the complexities of your feelings, with Fred's genuine love making the world feel warmer.

The snow outside the Great Hall was falling fast, painting the grounds of Hogwarts in a pristine white blanket. The cold air seeped into the castle, clinging to your skin even as you stood near the roaring torches in the corridor. Yet, none of that compared to the simmering heat of irritation building in your chest.

Fred Weasley was the reason for it.

You spotted him strolling toward you down the hallway, looking far too pleased with himself for someone who had just completely upended your evening. His red hair glinted in the firelight, messy as always, and his tall frame moved with the casual confidence that infuriated you even more.

“Fred,” you snapped as he approached.

“(Y/N),” he greeted cheerfully, a mischievous glint in his warm brown eyes.

“Did you just tell the person I was gonna go out with that we’re dating?” you demanded, your voice rising slightly.

Fred stopped in front of you, tilting his head as if deep in thought. Then, he grinned. “Oh, that’s what he thought I meant? That’s odd.”

“Don’t play dumb,” you shot back, folding your arms across your chest. “Why on earth would you say something like that?”

He shrugged, entirely too nonchalant. “Just thought he should know you’re spoken for.”

“Spoken for?” you repeated, incredulous. “I’m not spoken for! And even if I were, it wouldn’t be you speaking for me.”

Fred leaned casually against the wall, still infuriatingly calm in the face of your anger. “Well, someone had to do it. That bloke didn’t deserve your time.”

Your glare intensified. “Oh, and you think you get to decide who does?”

For a moment, Fred’s ever-present grin faltered. He looked away, scratching the back of his neck—a telltale sign he was nervous, though you rarely saw it. “It’s not about him, alright?”

“Then what is it about, Fred?” you demanded, taking a step closer. “Why do you care so much about who I go out with?”

He hesitated, his eyes flickering back to yours. And then, finally, he sighed, the lighthearted mask slipping away.

“Because the thought of you going out with someone else drives me mad,” he admitted, his voice quieter now. “And, Merlin help me, I didn’t know what else to do.”

Your breath caught, the weight of his words settling between you. Fred Weasley, the boy who never seemed to take anything seriously, was suddenly completely earnest.

“You—you can’t just say things like that,” you stammered, your anger replaced by an entirely different kind of flustered feeling.

“Why not?” he asked, his lips quirking into a faint smile. “It’s true. I like you, (Y/N). I have for ages. And maybe I went about it the wrong way, but I couldn’t stand there and let someone else get to be with you while I stood around like a coward.”

Your heart raced as you stared at him, his words sinking in. Fred Weasley, with his endless jokes and charming grin, had just laid his heart bare in front of you.

“That’s… not exactly fair,” you said finally, though your voice was softer now.

“I know,” Fred said, straightening up. “But I wasn’t trying to be fair. I was trying to be honest. And maybe a little selfish.”

The snow outside continued to fall, the soft sound of it filling the silence that hung between you.

Then, without warning, Fred shrugged off his jacket. Before you could react, he stepped forward and draped it over your shoulders.

“What are you doing?” you asked, startled.

“Take my jacket,” he said, his hands lingering on the fabric for a moment. “I don’t want you catching a cold.”

You stared up at him, your cheeks warming despite the icy chill of the corridor. His jacket smelled like him—fireworks, cinnamon, and something faintly sweet. It was warm and comforting, just like the boy in front of you, even if he drove you mad sometimes.

“I don’t need your jacket,” you mumbled, though you didn’t move to take it off.

Fred grinned, his usual confidence returning. “Yeah, well, I’m not taking it back, so you’re stuck with it.”

You looked at him, the weight of everything that had just happened pressing down on you. Fred Weasley liked you. He wasn’t joking, wasn’t playing one of his pranks—he was serious.

“Fred,” you said softly, stepping closer. His grin faltered again, replaced by something nervous and hopeful.

“Yeah?” he asked, his voice unusually quiet.

“You’re an idiot,” you said, though there was no heat in your words.

He laughed, his eyes lighting up with relief. “I hear that a lot. Doesn’t make it any less true.”

“But,” you continued, your voice gentler now, “I guess I’m okay with it. If it means you’re my idiot.”

Fred’s eyes widened, and for a moment, he looked completely stunned. Then, a grin broke across his face, wide and genuine. “You mean that?”

You nodded, smiling despite yourself. “I mean that. But next time, maybe let me decide who I’m going out with?”

Fred chuckled, stepping closer until he was right in front of you. His hand reached out to brush a stray strand of hair from your face, his touch light and careful. “Deal. But for the record, I’ll always think I’m the best choice.”

You rolled your eyes, though you couldn’t stop the laugh that bubbled up. “Of course you do.”

Fred’s grin softened into something warmer as he looked at you. The snow continued to fall outside, but you hardly noticed the cold anymore. Wrapped in his jacket, with his bright, steady presence by your side, the world suddenly felt a little warmer.

[atomsminecraft]

You feel like a 6A to me

My grades say otherwise /j

(I’m joking they’re ok)

[clownsuu]

Holy cow there’re a lot and I really do mean A LOT of Welcome Home AUs, and more coming too. Not saying it’s a bad thing, but it makes sense considering WH doesn’t have a lot to work with so it leaves tons of room for fans to play around with. I just hope it doesn’t get outta hand like what happened to Undertale with its AUs.

People are free to have creative liberty on what aus they wanna make- like you said there is very little canon content to munch on so people will pull a “fine I’ll do it myself” JCHFHDHU-

I personally don’t mind it as well, but I do enjoy the aus where they purposely change Wally’s height just to make him more simp-able LMAOO

[winn-wynn]

Foodcourt Au !!! (Magic Modern Times)

w/ Percy, Oliver, Marcus, Penelope, and Audrey

to start it off it’s the summer before college. They all need jobs to tie them over before school officially starts

Percy works at Smoothie Paradise. He’d be really good at memorizing the recipes. Usually the only one on shift because it doesn’t get that busy. Has fought with a Karen at least once per shift. Has tons of overtime. He needs the money. Manager has talked to him at least for it but at this point lets him have his overtime. Percy is his only regular full time employee.

Penelope works at Cinnabon. She’s really extroverted and friendly with customers. Is very fast and efficient. Always on cashier. Is also the caller to shout out customers names because she has the loudest voice.

Oliver works at Auntie Anne’s. BELIEVES HIS PRETZELS ARE SUPERIOR!!! Runs his little store like a quidditch team. Fast and efficient. Will win. Believes in teamwork but will kick your ass if you’re slacking. Works very fast. Has the pretzel shapes engrained in his mind and hands. Can do it in sleep.

Marcus works at Wetzel’s Pretzels. HIS PRETZELS ARE SUPERIOR OLIVER!!! Works in the back, mostly is the one shaping and baking pretzels. Do not put him on cashier he has no patience. Probably has threatened to kick out customers out at least once per shift.

Audrey works at Panda Express. She loves cooking the back. She does not want to talk to customers. Will do it begrudgingly though. Half -Chinese, so she makes jokes at least once that she’s working for her people even though Panda Express is not authentic. (It’s really Chinese American.) She always cleans as she goes. Refuses to do overtime because of dishes or cleaning the floor. Will get out on time. She will make sure of it.

NOW FOR THE FUN STUFF

They all met on accident because they were closing shifts. They all had a similar break time and sat at the food court tables to eat.

Percy knew Oliver from school so they were eating together. Penelope just plopped herself down and declared she was going to be friends with them because she’s seen them around school. Percy and Oliver just let it happened. They were to shocked. Percy didn’t mind. Oliver was like bombastic side eyes. Penny won Oliver over by her knowledge of quidditch.

Penelope brought Audrey over. They were friends before. Funnily enough Audrey brought Marcus over because she likes drama. She just thought Oliver and Marcus has a lot in common.

Oliver and Marcus were Not Happy TM. They fought like cats and dogs. They growled at each other once. Percy was not amused. He locked them in a janitors closet and said to sort it out.

They did it eventually. They’re still rivals and agreed to a truce. They still fight though.

Obviously, Oliver and Marcus are rivals. They work at different pretzels shops. They go over and fight each other at their place at least twice per shift. Percy is unfortunately stationed next to them and has to stop their fights. Penelope is across from them and watches while eating her cinnamon rolls. Audrey watches exasperated but she can’t say shit because her and Penny bet on when Percy will snap or who will win the fight.

That’s all I have for now. Tell me if you want more !!!

Also in case you don’t read tags, which fair I write goddamn essays, im Chinese. So please don’t take the Panda Express joke too seriously. I make that joke everytime I eat there.

[riveluart]

Queer fairy headcanons for pride This is just some fun doodles and headcanons my brain chose when rotating fairies around in my head

Ko-Fi Commissions are open!

[marsdeathdefiances]

Petition to rename ‘The Odyssey’ to ‘Are You There Gods? It’s me, Odysseus’

[alohaasaloevera]

can someone make an edit of klance fighting and then it flawlessly transitions to that one video of Steven Yeun wearing a maid dress in Jeremy Shada’s lap???

[ocdhuacheng]

When you say “we’re about to witness homosexuality on the big screen” you are talking about akiangel I am talking about denreze we are not the same

[devilsrecreation]

People are like “Mordetwi this” and “Mordetwi that” when Eeyore x Twilight Sparkle is RIGHT THERE

[chrismissing]

People get mad that Joshua Graham is racist.

Like bro knew Vegas was racist without him there is literally a perk that’s weaponizes racism.

(This is a joke)

Anyways daily Fallout Fanart

Artist: amyoy

DeviantArt: https://www.deviantart.com/amyoy/gallery

[applecidersstuff]

You know how first season went with “it starts, and ends, in the garden”? And how we all are afraid that in the end they both can become human or die?

So if they would die, I hope not, what if they’re beried in a garden?

So their love would start and end in the garden….

[devil-stumph]

Are you a lesbian? Are you also obsessed with that old man from fall out boy? Oh boy what are the chances of that?! Here’s a flag for all you Patrick Stump lesbians in the world ✨ you keep it spinning 🧡

The oranges are from the sunset flag but mostly kept because Patrick has said orange is his favourite colour (a fact i am so normal about as a fellow orange lover) and the blue is taken from his lesbian fashion sense… I mean denim jacket

[moonfurthetemmie]

The “My vampire friend needs to eat. Consider donating blood for their dinner.” sign in the front of our vampire-feeding blood drive stand is raising a lot of questions already answered by the sign

[thedeerman]

being rapid-cycling bipolar means that i can’t sleep at night because i’m hypomanic but then cry my eyes out because the order i made for the steam deck i’ve been waiting to get for years got cancelled and now i’ll have to pay full price because my company just stopped having them out of nowhere. thanks, obama