#I’m having so many actual thoughts on the chapter but I literally can’t comprehend anything rn

[jade-kyo]

Adachitoka what if that was my 13th reason

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 318: On Your Left

Previously on BnHA: The Hawksquad+Lurkers were all “well this sucks” and sat around a bit talking about how maybe they should actually come up with a new plan that is actually good, but then in the end they were like “nah.” Deku was all, “THERE’S SOMETHING INSIDE ME THAT PULLS BENEATH THE SURFACE!! CONSUMING, CONFUSING!! THIS LACK OF SELF CONTROL I FEAR IS NEVERENDING. IT’S HAUNTING HOW I CANT SEEM TO FIND MYSELF AGAIN. MY WALLS ARE CLOSING IN.” Just, literally that whole entire song. All Might was all “Deku you should take care of yourself, try eating a thing,” and Deku was all “BYE, ALL MIGHT,” and just LEFT. He left!!! What the fuck!!!

Today on BnHA: Endeavor is all, “maybe if Deku didn’t listen to All Might he’ll listen to me instead.” Deku is all, “[doesn’t listen to Endeavor]” because, well, yeah. The Vestiges are all, “surprisingly, even we are a little concerned -- maybe you should get some rest, kid.” Deku is all, “((Ò ‸ Ó)).” The Vestiges are all, “holy shit.” Deku is all, “[wanders the ruined city streets terrifying the populace on account of him looking like Shelob had a baby with one of the Nazgul].” Some shriveled-up puppeteer villain asshole is all, “HORIKOSHI SAID IT’S MY TURN TO ATTACK DEKU TODAY SO I AM GOING TO SUMMON MY FRIGHTENED HELPLESS ATTACK MOB!!” Kacchan is all “WHADDYA MEAN THEY FOUND THE NERD!!! -- oh wait, that’s me, I found him. I found the nerd, you guys.” And just in time, too. I was about to owe a whole lot of people a whole lot of dollars.

so I have been super good about spoilers this week as always, but let me tell you guys, for the past 36 hours my dash filters have basically been nonstop “manga spoilers” this and “bnha 318” that, and so I’m coming in with a fair amount of hype here. your move, Horikoshi

oh, good! they got Endeavor to call Deku to try to talk him out of it. what a great and wonderful plan

“listen up kid, you haven’t slept since March and you are basically a walking biohazard right now, I’m just telling it like it is. didn’t you get shot like three times?? and there was a whole thing about how you urgently needed medical attention?? and supposedly we gave it to you, but I mean you haven’t even changed your clothes and don’t seem to have any fresh bandages or anything, so did we?? did we, really?? and also we all got blown up yesterday, so yeah.” hmm he’s making some reasonable points here you guys, but you sure do go on and on, Endeavor

oh he says foreign aid is finally on its way! I’m sure they’ll be very helpful. I mean in fairness they can hardly be worse than the home-grown heroes at this point

hey Enji, could you maybe try appealing to Deku the sixteen-year-old human boy, as opposed to Deku The World’s Last Hope? he does have value beyond his quirk. I know that’s always been an incredibly difficult concept for you to grasp, but could you maybe TRY, jesus

and also we’re worried about you as a person?? you’re just a kid and you’re pushing yourself way too hard?? you were going to say that part next, right. why the hell didn’t Hawks make this call instead

“don’t worry about me... I’m completely fine” Deku you do understand that saying it over and over again doesn’t actually make it true

and again with the rush!! all the rush rush rush!! we’re running out of time, we can’t let AFO and Tomura keep getting stronger, I have to end this now, there’s no time to rest, etc. etc. etc. just the constant pressure of this whole big countdown on top of everything else

holy shit, you KNOW it’s bad when even the Vestiges are telling him to chill

these guys are basically the walking talking embodiments of self-sacrifice; if even they’re telling him he needs to take five, then he must seriously be like half a step away from death’s door

OH SHIT LMAO

DIDN’T EVEN LET HIM FINISH HIS SENTENCE BEFORE HE SENT HIM INTO THE FUCKING SHADOW REALM WITH THAT FUCKING LOOK. HOLY FUCK. DIDN’T EVEN KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO DIE TWICE. SHIT

(ETA: so I’m pretty sure this was just Danger Sense activating and so he cut them off to go do more hero stuff, but I’m gonna go ahead and stick to my original interpretation anyway lol.)

anyway so how’s everybody doing. we all good? En, you good? Banjou? Shino? I’m imagining you guys all curled up in a little ball on the floor right now lol. can’t say I blame you though, no shame

lmaoooooooooooo

“SHEESH.” sheesh indeed, lmao. “what in the FUCK was that”

see, this is why y’all need Kacchan. you need someone who’s not going to back down from him no matter what. if it’s a matter of out-stubborning Midoriya fucking Izuku, then there’s only one other person on the planet capable of that, and we all know it. don’t pretend like you don’t. I am not going to shut up about this! we’ve had our hurt so now what about SOME COMFORT, DAMMIT

“I’m afraid that he’s becoming influenced by my conscience” nah are you kidding Nana this is all 100% made-in-Japan pure original Deku right here

see, Banjou gets it. “that kid, he’s totally going on his own.” exactly. this was so inevitable it was basically scientific law

“well I for one don’t see the problem with Deku being so obsessed with saving everyone else that he pushes himself until his body and soul literally fall apart” okay, whose speech bubbles are these?? we’re about to have words

lol of course

well you always did prefer the direct route didn’t you. but even you can’t possibly think this is okay lol

dark AU!Kacchan please tell us more about your badass doomed timeline in which everything went to shit and you apparently had the same character arc that Deku is having right now except it somehow made you sexier instead of turning you into a rabid t-rex. I have so many questions

oh so now you want to help??? well -- good, actually. sorry if that sounded offended just now lol

(ETA: so at first when I got to the end of this chapter I was wondering if Katsuki B. had somehow summoned his alternate-universe counterpart through trippy OFA space telepathy lol. but in the original Japanese there’s no reference to “we”, so this appears to be a mistranslation. this line should probably read more like “if there’s something/someone out there that would be able to complement/complete the current Midoriya Izuku [it would be]…” which, oh hello, is that Horikoshi once again reaffirming that Deku and Bakugou complete each other lol. “guess what guys, the Vestiges ship it too" heck yeah. they know what’s up!)

look how admiring his boyfriends are. HORIKOSHI GIVE US THE REST OF THIS BACKSTORY ALREADY GODDAMMIT

“meanwhile somewhere in the depths of the ruined city, Deku was having a dance-off with the villains”

I like how the villains all have this “AHH WHAT THE FUCK” kind of body language to them lol. I mean if it were me, and an eldritch horror suddenly clawed its way from the shadows with its writhing glowy tentacles and pants-shitting nuclear death stare, I would probably just die on the spot. no need to stick around. only pain awaits

lol for a minute I thought this was Can’t Ya See-kun and I was like “WHAT A FASCINATING CROSSING OF PATHS” but it’s just some random girl

he seems genuinely confused lol

Deku it’s because you look like something that crawled out of a sewer drain, sweetheart

lol they just took his word for it?

so trusting. even though they’re immediately hauling ass anyway just to be safe lmao

“my appearance is frightening to others” no shit Deku it’s because you look like a fucking alien exorcism. you look like a Lich that got caught up in an oil spill my dude

NO NOT THE CHOSEN ONE ANGST AGAIN

I RAN OUT OF ESSAY JUICE FOR THIS ALREADY HORIKOSHI!! I’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT FOR MONTHS NOW WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG!! BUT ANYWAYS, GOOD!! I MEAN, BAD, THOUGH, OBVIOUSLY. BUT YES

“ENJOY THIS MONTAGE OF DEKU BATTLING A RANDOM KAIJU AND WANDERING THE WOODS LIKE A DERANGED GREEN BABA YAGA” okay yes but sir, exactly how much longer is this going to go on. if it’s a matter of you wanting to make sure we get it, let me assure you that aside from a few stray chuunis who think that Deku embracing the Darkness is the coolest thing he’s ever done, all of us here in fandom fully comprehend that this is Not Good

-- OH SO IT’S LIKE THAT

really. with the flashbacks to his loved ones’ smiling faces and everything. not even gonna try to aim above the belt, huh

AND NO KACCHAN??! NO CLASSMATES?!?! IS HE PURPOSELY NOT THINKING OF THEM??? OR ARE THEY BEING SAVED FOR THE NEXT PAGE??? SO HELP ME, IF THE NEXT PART OF THIS SENTENCE IS “CAN PROTECT THEM”, OR EVEN WORSE, “CAN SEE THEIR SMILING FACES AGAIN”, I...

WHAT DID I JUST SAY

(ETA: my man did Sero and Kaminari fucking dirty lmao. I miss their smiling faces too omg.)

the sheer, unparalleled irony of him saying this while he stands there looking like the gargoyle demon from Fantasia got crossed with an umbrella that got struck by lightning. Deku :(

oi who the fuck is this clown

is he controlling this mob with his evil hair. “what if I made an exhausted, running-on-fumes Deku battle a brainwashed mob at Ground Zero.” Horikoshi do you just have like a checklist of horrible things you want to do to your protagonist

easy there Sasori

well joke’s on you buddy because he’s apparently “completely fine”, so

“here’s to hoping that you know more about AFO’s location than the others” jesus christ Deku you really have hung your mercy out to dry huh

now he’s forcing his mob of terrified prisoners to attack Deku ahhhh. sucks to be them. at least they’re not being controlled by bees

so Deku is saying that Sasori’s control can be broken with “physical trauma.” similar to Shinsou’s quirk I guess. but so does that mean he’s gonna have to hurt them? ( •﹏•)

NO NOT MORE SAD EYES

“DEATH BY EMPATHY!!!” HORIKOSHI NO

fuck. he looks like he’s on the verge of passing out

this is what happens when you nerf a character’s self-preservation stats in favor of spamming their bone-breaking stats instead. NOW ACCEPTING BRAIN CELL DONATIONS FOR A BOY IN NEED!! with your loving generosity we can hopefully help him live to the ripe old age of seventeen

OMGFGGG

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

[grabs your hands] ლ(*꒪ヮ꒪*)ლ [swings you in a circle] へ(ﾟ◇ﾟへ)

THASSSSSSSS WHATSSSSSSS UPPPPPPPPPP

HORIKOSHI REALLY SAID FUCK THAT MASK (ノ°ο°)ノ YOU FINALLY LEARNED!! IT’S CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!!!!

JUST FOR YOU KACCHAN, HORIKOSHI LEFT THIS ONE BAD GUY WHO’S STILL WEAK TO FIRE. GOD BLESS

IT’S YOUR COUNTERPART, KATSUKI B!!!! HOW WE DOIN OVER THERE IN THE TRIPPY COSMIC OFA SPACE REALM LOL. DO WE BELIEVE YET, FANDOM???

LIGHTS!!!!

INSTANT RESULTS!!! IT’S SUPER EFFECTIVE!!!

(ETA: imagine what this must look like to Deku though. he’s been caught up in this dark cloud of despair and exhaustion that’s been building up over... I’m gonna go ahead and say “weeks”, because yeah. and now he finds himself here, in the place where All Might’s legacy ended and the torch was passed to him. and the world is in ruins, and he’s surrounded by frightened people who are all trying to hurt him -- because who isn’t trying to hurt him, these days -- and he’s scrambling to figure this all out, but meanwhile the weariness is finally starting to catch up to him, and so he’s basically just standing there in a fog of complete and utter misery.

and then all of a sudden through that haze, he hears the one voice that’s more familiar than any other that he knows. like, I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he thought he was just imagining it at first. Kacchan showing up to save him right when he’s at his most desperate and feeling the most alone. Kacchan, showing up to save him.

this is the person he always looked up to as a child (to be fair he was quite a strange child lmao). the person who was even closer to him than All Might. the person he always thought was amazing. and bam, here he is now. appearing in the sky out of nowhere to one-shot the bad guy with a single blast (which, btw, that was his armor-piercing attack too lmao dslkjlk take it easy there kiddo). like, that must have felt absolutely surreal to him, especially coming at a time when he’s already half-delirious and barely hanging on to reality. he must have really thought that he was losing it there for a second.

but he’s really there. it really is him. and for this brief moment -- before the rest of the situation catches up to him, and he remembers about all of the fucked-up AFO stuff, and remembers why he was so afraid and why he was pushing everyone away -- for just this one brief moment, he’s too exhausted and stunned to do anything except to just react. just stands there, looking up at him in awe.

and you know, it almost reminds me of...

just. you guys. the character development. the freaking character development. someone who brings reassurance. someone who shows up and makes you think, “oh, it’s all going to be okay now, because [person] is here.” the role reversals. the growth. the payoff!! because who is the one person who always had faith that Kacchan would one day grow up to become an amazing hero like that. WHO IS IT. YOU ALREADY KNOW.

omg. anyways, bless you Horikoshi, my feels which have been on backorder since fucking September have finally arrived lmao. yes, good, thank you. worth the wait. it is always, always worth the wait. fuck yeah.)

“LOWFRIES” SO YOU’RE TELLING ME THE WHOLE GANG IS HERE, AHHHHHHHH (º̩̩́⌣º̩̩̀ )

BEAUTIFUL. WONDERFUL. SENSATIONAL. I DON’T EVEN CARE THAT JUMP IS ON BREAK NEXT WEEK. THIS RIGHT HERE WILL SUSTAIN ME

[simsadventures]

Gilded: Chapter 1: To Bride or Not to Bride

Mob! Steve x Reader

Summary: Your life is a mess and you need a little help from time to time. But, when somebody proposes a plan to rid you of all your problems all the way to the far future, you’re suddenly not so sure it is worth it. Especially since the plan is proposed to you by the most notorious gangster America has seen since Al Capone: Steve fucking Rogers. 

Warnings: mafia AU, swearing (like, a lot this time), angst, struggles with money, loan-shark, sleazy men, harassing

Word Count: 7969

A/N: It’s finally here! It only took me around 6 months to bring it, and I apologise for the delay, but I hope I will make up for it with introductory this chapter :) Share your thoughts, let me know what you thought and what do you think will happen next :) xx

Series Masterlist __ Masterlist 

“Just, wait a second,” you said, your brows knitting together as you tried to piece together all the information the man in front of you had just given you. He was gorgeous, there was no question about that, but that wasn’t the issue here. There were many gorgeous people in New York, and you didn’t marry any of them. Yet, that was. 

“You want to marry me. But you still haven’t told me why, so?” You asked for what felt like the hundredth time that evening, and the man just smirked again, playing with his cuffs, never answering to your satisfaction. 

“I told you, honey, what I want, I get, and I decided that I wanted you, so, what is going to be? Are you gonna be a good girl for me or am I gonna have to force you, hm?” He smiled sweetly, but even you knew better. Behind that oh-very-sweet smile, there was venom and a ton of it. You rubbed your temples and plopped down on the nice-looking couch, thinking about what he was proposing. 

2 weeks ago

“Coming!” You yelled through the loud music at the guests seated by the table number 5 where a group of guys was seated, hollering at you every two seconds as if you didn’t hear them the first time. You rolled your eyes at your colleague, who just laughed under her breath as you strode towards the clients. You put on your best fake smile as you approached them, and from the whistles, you assumed they appreciated it. 

“Thank God you came, sweets. We thought you were getting tired of us,” the loudest of them laughed, and the group followed his suit, making your clench your jaw even more. Oh, how you hated this type of men, who had nothing better to do than calling a woman pet-names, making her feel uncomfortable just so his friends could have a laugh and a story to tell. 

“What can I get you, gentleman? Another round of the same?” You asked as sweetly as you could, but it was getting harder by the second as they all eyed you like a piece of raw meat, ready to be devoured. 

“I mean, that would be nice, and could you serve us a piece of that sweet ass of course as well? We’d really appreciate it, pretty face,” the loud guy smirked sleazily, and you fought the urge to vomit in your face. One of the guys made the mistake of actually making a move to swat you across your butt, but your reflexes were quicker. 

You took a step back and breathed in, trying to calm your beating heart. This was, however, nothing new in your line of work, and you just learned to ignore it, or, at best, politely turn them down. Because, as you learned very early on, the manager didn’t appreciate if his “girls” were nasty to his customers. He almost made it sound like you were to provide your bodies with the beers, but you told him straightforwardly that that wouldn’t happen, and if his pub was one of these, you wanted to have nothing to do with it. All you were there to do was to work the evening and night shift to get some extra money on top of your regular job, and that was it. He even made a few remarks how he wanted you all to himself, but you politely declined every time and just tried to ignore it altogether.

“This ass is not for sale, I’m sorry, boys. But, the vodka shots are coming right up,” you tried to give them your best wink but didn’t wait long enough to see if they accepted their loss or not. You genuinely didn’t care. 

The night continued in a similar manner, some people being inappropriate and you just ignoring their behaviour, and some people actually nice, even leaving you a few tips which always made you smile. You were beat when it was 11, and your shift ended, and you were thrilled today wasn’t one of those days when you had to stay there till 4 AM. It was then that people got really disgusting and you even had to resolve to hit a guy this one time because otherwise, you were pretty sure he’d manage to rape you. You sighed at the memory as you continued on your way home, just now remembering you left the tips meant for you in your locker.

Sighing you turned around and walked back towards the bar, and when you were in, you noticed three men in black suits talking to your coworker, who looked stunned and scared at the same time. You cocked a brow at her, and she discreetly shook her head, telling you that you shouldn’t come nearer. 

This time, you really frowned and looked around, but the rest of the pub looked exactly the way you left it, even with the assholes by the fifth table. But you listened to her and took a step back to one of the dark corners, watching what was going on by the bar. It didn’t take long, definitely not longer than 5 minutes before the men turned around and left the building. 

Your coworker looked positively alarmed by now, and you almost ran to her to ask what the fuck did just happen. 

“I have no idea, Y/N. I noticed them by table 10 like an hour ago, but I didn’t pay them any attention because that was Christy’s sector tonight and I had the veranda. And when you left they just came here asking about you,” she breathed out, and it was your turn to look alarmed. 

“The fuck? Why would they ask about me when it was Christy who took care of them?” You screeched, your brain not really comprehending the situation. 

“I have no fucking idea, Y/N. But, like, they asked your name and stuff, and like, if you were a regular waitress here or what. I didn’t want to tell them anything, I swear, but they didn’t take no for an answer. So I just told them your first name, I wouldn’t budge on your last, I promise, and told them that you sometimes worked here but that I didn’t know when was your next shift,” she finished, a little scared of your reaction now, but from the look of those guys, you knew they were bad news and that Anja did the best she could.

“Nah, it’s ok, An. I would do the same. I’m really grateful that you didn’t give them my last name, though, that was really thoughtful of you,” you smiled at her, and it obviously put her at ease as she hugged and hurried back to the veranda, where you both saw a few guests waving that they needed a refill. 

The hell did just happen, and why would three mysterious men ask about you? 

It couldn’t be that they found out, right? No… you made sure all the traces were hidden, forever, so, that wasn’t an option. 

No, you told yourself, there must be another reason for them to ask about you. But you didn’t want to find out. It was a one-time thing, these men were just confused, or one of them liked you or something like that, and you would never see them again. This actually calmed you down enough to start functioning again, and you remembered that you came for something specific, took the money and went straight home. 

“This can’t be happening,” you muttered as you looked over your bills. There was so much to pay and so little money on your account that you actually started to sweat. You worked two jobs and still wasn’t able to afford to live a life where you didn’t have to worry about money. What was more, with the high taxes, your rent, subway card and food you went into red numbers, and that was something you definitely didn’t want. Nobody told you that as an Arts Major, you could still be struggling to stay alive in the city of New York. 

You went over the bills again even though you knew your math was correct and that you didn’t have enough to pay your landlord this month. 

Fuck, you muttered again and considered your options. You could ask your friends, but you didn’t want to bother them since you knew they were struggling as much as you were. You shared your apartment with two of your best friends who you considered a family by now, Caroline and Aidan. And while you knew they would do anything to help you, neither of their jobs paid enough to be able to help you as much as you needed this month. 

Your other option was asking your landlord to give you some more time before more money arrived, but just imagining the conversation gave you goosebumps because you could picture the kind of service he’d want from you, and you’d literally rather go and beg on the street than to sleep with that middle-aged pig. 

So, as you summarised it, the only option remained the loan shark. Tony was actually a nice guy, once you got to know him, and he was nice to you because you always paid precisely what he told you to when he told you to, and never asked too many questions or begged for more time. You were smarter than that, and, besides, you’ve seen too many movies with loan sharks to know what could happen to you. 

The first time you went to him was probably 2 years ago, straight from university when you still thought you could make it big in New York. Well, safe to say that you didn’t make it, and while you remained hopeful, you had bigger problems than becoming a renown painter, like not starving to death and other fun stuff like that. 

You were awfully scared to go to Tony, he had a reputation of being kind of an ass, but people also said that, compared to the other guys in the business, he actually had the fairest demands, and as you had no other choice, you just went to him. And because life was a bitch, you ended up going there on more occasions. Tony was kind enough always to lend even small amounts of money because you really didn’t need 100K. No, you always need like 1 or 2 thousand, and while the other loan sharks turned people like you down, Tony didn’t, and he never wanted more than like 400$ as a return, which seemed quite fair as the other guys always wanted 100% or more. 

Well, Tony, it was, as you sighed looking around your room, thinking how you even got where you were. But there was no time to waste pitying yourself, and so you shot Tony a quick message, as you always did, and to no surprise, he was very quick to respond that you should come by later that afternoon. 

You were just getting ready when Aidan burst through your door. He stopped mid-step, looking at you confusedly because you didn’t tell him you were going somewhere. 

“Got a date or what? You never go out on Saturday afternoon, not if you can help it,” he said sceptically, looking around the room as his eyes landed on the fumbled papers on your table, and the look of realisation hit him. 

“You going to Tony again? Y/N, we told you, we can help you, babe! Let us help just this once, please?” He pleaded with you even though he knew it was useless. 

“C’mon, babe, you know you and Caroline are not making much either, and you’re both glad to get by another month. Tony is like an old friend by now, really. I don’t mind it that much, and it’s definitely a better option than burying you two with me under this pile of shit,” you huffed as you finished applying mascara, but you didn’t even check yourself in the mirror, really not caring that much how you looked. You went to Manhattan just to meet Tony and would go straight back, quick mission, in and out. 

“You need to find a better job, Y/N,” Aidan smirked at you, and you just laughed because you both knew it was pretty much impossible, especially since you loved your day job with the only issue that it paid like shit. 

“You know this is my chance to be close to art and I really want it. I mean, it could happen that they promote me from being a receptionist to like, I dunno, being a secretary to one of the curators of the gallery, right?” 

He just huffed and kissed the top of your head, striding towards the door. It was only then that you noticed he was dressed to go out as well. 

“And where are you going, mister?” You asked with a mother-like tone, and he just laughed, turning around as if he was caught in the act. 

“So, you remember John?” He asked, sitting on your bed, and you actually laughed out loud at him. 

“Which one? I mean, there has been so many Johns and Peters that I swear to God I’m starting to think there are only men called John and Peter in the whole fucking New York. So, more info, babe, please,” you scooted to him and listened to which John it actually was he was meeting and was pretty excited about this. This was John the Ballet dancer, and he looked really nice, so far. 

John the Fake Mobster was a lying bastard, John the Hairdresser wanted Aidan for just that one thing but would never admit it, and then you didn’t even have John-the for the guys because they were all just idiots who didn’t see your best friend for what he was: an amazing, although a little extra person with a very good heart, great sense of humour and amazing hair. 

“Alright, well, you know the drill. Keep your phone on data so we can use Find your Friend if needed, keep your eyes open for anything sketchy going on, but, most importantly, enjoy yourself, babe. I’ll see you tonight,” you hugged him tightly and walked out of the apartment and into the busy streets. 

If it were all up to you, you’d live in a secluded place, somewhere in the north probably, like outside Seattle, where you’d have a lovely little house, maybe by a river or by the ocean or something, where you’d have enough inspiration for your art and where you wouldn’t be annoyed by the little things, like the car horns blaring all the way to the night, people shouting underneath your bedroom’s window, and little things like that. 

But life was not a factory for fulfilled wishes, and you had to endure another day trying to make it in New York. You thought about all of this as you walked down the street to where you knew you could find Tony. You weren’t happy that you had to go to him, again, but you also knew that you didn’t need to worry anymore. You would have the money for your landlord by the end of the week, and when the gallery paid you, you would pay Tony back. Again. 

“If it isn’t my favourite girl!” You heard a familiar voice hollering from the shop, and you laughed lightly as you walked into the pawnshop Tony had set up in the lower Manhattan. 

“Hello to you too, Tony. Today a yellow day, or what?” You greeted him as you looked at his outfit, which was just a canary yellow tracksuit and a matching hat. He looked like a character from a bad movie, but you knew better than to say anything like that. 

“Yellow is very classy and trendy, thank you very much! Yesterday I wore this really nice green velvet tracksuit, and you should have seen some ladies walking by, they almost ate me with their eyes! I swear!” He added as he saw you stifling a laugh, but you just nodded in fake understanding, and both of you shared a relaxed laugh. 

“So, what can I do for you today, sweetheart?” He drawled, and you shuffled on the spot, always feeling slightly uncomfortable when it came to this part. 

“I need a thousand this week. Ton. I’ve been working my ass off, but the bills keep building up, and every time I think I’m out of it and I can live normally, there is always something holding me back,” you sighed, scratching your arms which was a nervous habit of yours that Tony grew quite fond of. 

He was almost sorry for saying the next thing, but this was way above his pay grade, and while he really did take some liking to you, and he would always give you enough time to pay him off, he knew who he couldn’t piss off. 

“Listen, Y/N, I have a proposal for you,” Tony started, and you frowned, not really knowing where this was going, but from the look on Tony’s face, you could tell it was nothing good. 

“There is somebody who would like to get to know you, and he has a proposal for you that he believes you can’t refuse. I don’t know any specifics, I just know he is willing to pay you a lot of money, and I’m talking thousands and thousands, Y/N. He said that nothing sexual would be involved because I told him that if he was looking for a one night stand, you weren’t his girl, but he assured me that this wasn’t it. He would like to meet with you and tell you all the details if you let him. And before you say no, Y/N, think about it. All you gotta do now is to meet him and listen to him, and he is one of those guys who don’t take no for an answer,” Tony finished, and while you saw it pained him to give you the message, you were too stunned to care. 

“What the hell are you talking about, Tony? Is this some kind of a sick joke? Like, did this guy tell you he wanted to talk to me specifically or just a girl desperate enough to come here?” You blurted, still not getting what he was about. 

“He asked for you, sweetie. I don’t know how, but he knew you’d come and told me when you did to give you the message and give you his address. Which is here,” he said, handing you a piece of paper with an address and a date with the time written on it, “and he told me that if you came and agreed to his plan, you wouldn’t have to worry about money this week or any other week. It could be your chance, Y/N. Look, the guy is extremely powerful, so, please, just go and meet him, and you’ll see, ok?” He was scared, and it made you scoff out loud. 

Great, so a loan shark was giving you a message to meet some mysterious, powerful asshole who wouldn’t take no for an answer and who probably stalked you as he knew you would be coming to Tony sooner or later. Just great, really. 

“It seems I don’t really have a choice, do I? Sheesh, Tony, at least tell me who this guy is and like how scared I should be. You gotta give me something because I can’t just go to some random house and be totally ok with it. Nobody can’t expect me to do so,” you pointed out, and Tony nodded in understanding. 

“Totally, yeah. I even asked if I should come with you, but I was told you should be alone. You should be alert, let’s put it that way. If I were you, I’d really think before I speak, because this guy doesn’t take anything lightly. And I think it would be best if you didn’t know his name, Y/N. Just… he doesn’t want to hurt you, all he wants to do is speak to you, so please, just do it,” Tony finished just as some customer came into the shop. 

You waited patiently because the conversation was far from over, but you knew better than to start shit in front of some stranger. Tony was evidently scared shitless of the guy, and it only fuelled your already growing anxiety. Tony was determined not to share too much information with you, but you didn’t understand why. Why could you not at least know the guy’s name? Who could it be? 

Your brain took a detour to a few nights ago back at the pub where you saw the men asking about you, and a cold sweat broke on your skin. It must have been connected, there was no doubt in your mind about that, and it filled you with so much dread you actually had to catch your right hand with your left to stop yourself from shaking violently. 

The doorbell rang signalling the customer left, and your eyes gazed at Tony, who was already staring at you apologetically. 

“And what about the money, Tony? It’s Saturday, and I need to pay my rent by Friday next week. Nice of the guy, whoever the fuck he is, that he wants to see me, but he won’t if I’m on a fucking street next weekend,” you seethed, and Tony was quick to walk around the counter behind which he was standing this whole time and walked closer to you. 

“He wants to see you on Wednesday, Y/N, and he specifically told me not to lend you any money, that he would take care of it. Whatever the fuck it means.”

“The fuck? I don’t even know his fucking name, and he will stop me from getting money to survive? What the actual hell, Tony? You can’t be serious right now,” you cried out in utter desperation because none of this was supposed to happen. You were supposed to come, chat a little with the goatee man, get the money and walk back home, where you’d watch some stupid TV show and drink shitty wine. 

But no, of all the people living in New York this shit must be happening to you. As you didn’t have enough on your fucking plate as was, some mysterious fucker had to be interested in you for whatever reason, and he wouldn’t let you live without talking to him first. 

“Can’t you just call him and tell him that I want to have nothing to do with him?” You asked when you felt calm enough to talk again. You didn’t even know whether you were scared or desperate or angry, but at best, you were feeling a mix of all these and some more, that was for sure. 

“No can do, sweetie, but I promise it will be alright, ok? You’re a strong one, I know that and whatever he wants from you, you can either give or can talk to him,” Tony smiled sweetly, and while you knew he was full of bullshit you let it slide because you just didn’t have it in you to fight with him when he was clearly just the messenger. Whoever wanted to speak to you, however, he would hear it from you because where were we that a guy just asks for a girl and the whole of New York delivers her to him on a silver platter?

Wednesday 

“You gotta be kidding me, Y/N. Are you seriously considering going there? For all you know it might be some elaborate trap and somebody’s gonna jump you and kill you in some dark alley,” Caroline screeched at you as she saw you getting ready after you came home from work. 

You had to ask for a night off from the pub since mister nobody wanted to meet you on your night of work. But you knew you couldn’t say no. Whoever it was, Tony was afraid of him, and Tony was a tough guy. And not that you wouldn’t be brave, but your bravery was mostly concentrated on being able to throw a spider out of the apartment or walk the corridor with the lights out, not really crossing some powerful guy who could do God-knows-what to you if you didn’t come. 

“C’mon, guys. You know I gotta do it. And I honestly think if they wanted to kill me, they would have already done it,” you muttered, trying to pick something to wear, that wasn’t too revealing, but you also didn’t want to go wherever you were going in a pair of baggy sweatpants you were currently rocking. 

“But like, what if they want to make a personal slave out of you, huh? Like, cuff you to a ceiling and serve them with your body, like a personal kind of slave, you know what I mean? You were not made to be strapped to a ceiling, babe,” Aidan panicked, and you actually had to laugh. 

“Your imagination never ceases to astonish me, Aid. Or are you speaking from personal experience?” You smirked as both you and Caroline laughed out loud at Aidan’s expression of utter disgust. 

“You two are disgusting, and I hate you, but that doesn’t change the fact you still don’t know where the fuck you’re going,” Aidan countered and you rolled your eyes at him. 

“I’ll keep my data on so you can see me this whole time, and if I don’t call you by 9 PM you can send the cops there, deal?” 

They both nodded in agreement, knowing this was the best they were getting. You were glad you had them in your life and that you had people caring enough to try and stop you from doing something stupid, but something in your told you that your life would be even worse if you didn’t go. At least this way you’d know the whole story, and you would be able to make an educated decision based on all the variables. 

“A’ight, but if anything sketchy happens, you run, ok? We can figure out the money, but we can’t figure out shit if you’re not here with us,” Caroline reminded you, and you nodded solemnly. 

God, you just hoped you weren’t making a mistake by listening to Tony. He even shot you a message in the afternoon, reminding you to go there because if you didn’t, it could end up badly for both of you. And it was actually one of the decisive arguments in the whole thing, surprisingly. You didn’t want anything happening to Tony, especially not because of you and your decisions, and so you just told yourself to suck it and prepared for the evening. 

You really couldn’t afford the cab, so you had to leave super early to be at the given address at precisely 7 PM. You also grabbed the book you were currently reading, Kim Stanley Robinson’s New York 2140, so that the ride to Manhattan wouldn’t be as dull and dreadful. You could think of the utopian future he depicts rather than thinking of your journey to the lion’s den, and that was the most promising image you created in your head about the place where you were headed. 

Not that you didn’t try to find the place on Google maps, but all the buildings on the address looked the same, and, actually, quite nice, so you had no idea what you were getting yourself into. 

Meanwhile, Tony texted you again since you didn’t reply to his previous text, and this time you took the time to craft a message telling him that yes, you were indeed headed to the manor and he didn’t need to worry about his own neck because you wouldn’t let others be hurt because of your incompetence or your cowardice. 

You knew you were getting off on Chambers St station and you actually took the time to think how many people living in Tribeca had to take the subway. The answer was, very obviously, zero, as the majority of the people in the subway were either passing or were clothed in a way you knew they worked in either one of the restaurants there or as a help. And you felt like one of them, because you too didn’t live in the wealthiest village in New York, and you too were going there mainly for business. Well, at least you hope you did. 

Checking every house number when you got to the street you were supposed to meet the mysterious guy at, you tried to find where exactly was the bat cave, and when you saw the number 112, you knew you found it. 

Your breath came in ragged huffs as you tried to gather the last remnants of your bravery as you walked up the stairs and buzzed on the door. Your head was spinning lightly, and you actually had to lean against the wall beside you to regain your composure. 

The door soon revealed a massive man dressed in a black turtleneck and a pair of black jeans, and you were actually quite surprised not to see him with sunglasses and an earpiece. If the situation weren’t so tense, you’d probably joke about it, but as it was, you just followed his lead as he beckoned you inside. 

“Miss Y/L/N, I presume? I need to see your phone and your belongings, ma’am,” he stated, and you raised a brow at him. 

“Excuse me?”

“It’s a standard procedure, ma’am. Everybody here to see the boss needs to be checked, just in case,” he stated, leaving no room for discussion, and while you sighed exasperatedly, you still handed him your bag and made a point by fishing out the phone and shoving it in his outstretched hand. He took a quick look through your belongings, pushing it against what you assumed was some kind of a metal detector before he pulled out another device. This looked like a big phone, and he scanned your bag once again. 

“What is that?” You asked, unable to stop your curiosity. 

“Checking if you’re not bugged,” he answered matter-of-factly as he continued before he put the device down, clearly not finding anything. Where would you even get a bug, and why would you do it? You rolled your eyes inwardly but kept a straight face in front of the man, just in case he was watching. Which he was, as you found out by him waving in front of your face and showing you to follow him. 

You braced yourself for whatever was awaiting upstairs and obediently walked behind him. 

As you walked through the house, you got the impression that whoever lived there was wealthy, but that kind that didn’t really put on a flashy show. There were no chandeliers, no heavy curtains and stuff you pretty much imagined this place would look like and that image had nothing to do with the Beast and the Beauty dance room, nothing at all. 

But this was… modest. Everything was very contemporary, some prominent brick here and there with mostly grey floors and the furniture was most definitely customary but, again, it was plain yet luxurious. You assumed that’s how the really rich people lived. They knew they had the money, and the people around them knew it as well, so there was no need for diamond stairs and a golden toilet. 

A few names surged from memory as you heard your coworkers discuss the wealthy New Yorkers, but you didn’t want to assume anything before you actually saw the person, so you just walked by the halls before the man stopped in front one of the rooms and quietly knocked. 

It was not surprising when another man dressed exactly like the guy leading you appeared from the room and took a quick look at you before he said something to whoever was behind him. When the affirmative came that you could indeed go in there, they shoved the door open and what you assumed was a living room appeared in front of you. It corresponded with the whole house, but your attention was caught by one specific thing. Your brain had its own world, and when you saw one of Tunji Adeniyi-Jones’s paintings from his last year’s exhibit, you almost fainted. He was your favourite contemporary artist. And seeing his work outside of the gallery was practically an otherworldly feeling. You gaped at the beautiful play of colours, and your heart swooned at the perfection of the brush strokes. 

“Ehm,” you heard somebody cough beside you, and it startled you so much you actually jumped to the side, your hand flying to your chest in a feeble attempt to will your heart to stay calm. 

You took the intruder in and found out that unlike every other man in the room (and there were a few, as you noticed) this guy wasn’t wearing all-black attire. He was in a comfortable-looking creme sweater and a pair of dark blue jeans, everything fitting him as if the clothes were sawn to his body. 

Which, as far as you could tell, was the body of a Greek God. 

“See something you like, honey?” The man interrupted thoughts, and it just crossed your mind that he was really rude, not letting you breathe even for a second before he had to make his presence known. 

“Yes, actually. I’m quite a big fan of the artist whose painting you have there, so I admired that. And you are?” You trailed at the end, signalling that while he was very handsome, you had no idea who he was and why it was that you needed to come to him this evening. 

“Straight to business, huh? I like that. I’m quite surprised Tony didn’t tell you who I was. Was he scared you wouldn’t have come if you knew?” He didn’t wait for your answer, however. “Well, honey, I’m Steve Rogers, and I am very pleased to meet you,” he smirked at your stomach dropped. 

Steve Rogers? That Steve Rogers? It wasn’t possible. 

“You gotta be kidding me,” you muttered as you scratched your arms nervously. 

“Oh no, on the contrary. I’m all too real, Miss Y/L/N, and from the looks of it, I’m glad Tony didn’t tell you, you look like you might faint. Are you feeling alright?” He asked like the smug asshole he was, and you just turned away from him, taking a deep breath before you finally turned back around to face him with a pokerface. 

“I’m alright, thank you. So now, can I know what it is you want from me so much you stalked me and made me come here, pretty much by force?” 

He scoffed but showed you to follow him to the sofa. When you didn’t budge, he simply took you by your elbow and pretty much shoved you down to the plump sofa. 

“Force, I have no idea what you’re talking about. I simply asked you to come visit me, is it so wrong? But yes, you are right, we should talk about why I invited you here. You see, Y/N, I’m in need of a wife, and after long calculations, I came to the conclusion you would be perfect for the job,” he said straightforwardly, and it was now that you felt like you’d faint. 

“Marry me? Are you fucking insane?” You couldn’t hold it in any longer. Form the pissed off expression on his face, you could see it was not the right move, but he couldn’t expect any other reaction, really. 

“Easy, honey or I might have to use the said force to shut that smart mouth of yours,” Steve mumbled dangerously, and you swallowed harshly. 

“Right, you’re a notorious mobster, and I’m literally nobody, and if you killed me, nobody would miss me. Good, now that’s out of the table, why do you want to marry me? And what does it mean you are in need of a wife? I mean… you are notorious for dating a different girl every week, can’t you just marry one of them if you’re in such a great hurry?” 

“No, honey, I can’t. All you need to know right now is my proposal. So, here it is. You will marry me, we will stay married for a year and then get a divorce. You will have everything every girl ever wanted: loads of clothes, all the time in the world to do whatever the fuck you want, you won’t have to work, and I will pay for everything and more. You will live here so you won’t have to worry about your rent money, and I will also pay your student loan, on top of which you will be paid 20.000$ every month for playing your role. And when the year is over, you will walk away rich, without any debts slowing you down and you will be able to do anything you want. How does that sound?” 

“It sounds like it’s not a proposal but a directive,” you smiled sweetly and stood up, pacing the room and scratching your hands like crazy. This was not happening, no, no, no!

You needed the money, you really did, and getting rid of the debt from your student loan that would have been sweet too, but at what price? On the other hand, you thought, how bad could it be to just be somebody’s wife for a year? He did make it sound pretty easy. 

“What would be expected of me?” 

“Well, you would go with me to every event and pretty much listen to everything I say,” he shrugged as if it was the most natural thing to say to another human being. 

“Like, you’d ask me to spread my legs for you here, and I would do it?” You asked, suddenly very angry that the man just assumed what kind of a person you were. You were desperate, but not that desperate. 

“Oh, no, honey. That is one of the reasons why I chose you: I’m not attracted to you, so no, I wouldn’t ask you for any sexual favours. We could even put that to our contract if you’d feel better, but, really, you have nothing to worry from me,” he again said with ease, and you didn’t know if you were glad he just told you this or really pissed and ashamed.

Not that you thought you were some kind of a beauty, far from it, but he also didn’t have to be so upfront about it. And now you understood it even less why the hell he chose you.

“Just, wait a second,” you said, your brows knitting together as you tried to piece together all the information the man in front of you had just given you. He was gorgeous, there was no question about that, but that wasn’t the issue here. There were many gorgeous people in New York, and you didn’t marry any of them. Yet, that was. 

“You want to marry me. But you still haven’t told me why, so?” You asked for like the hundredth time that evening, and the man just smirked again, playing with his cuffs, never answering to your satisfaction. 

“Honey, what I want, I get, and I decided that I wanted you, so, what is going to be? Are you gonna be a good girl for me or am I gonna have to force you, hm?” He smiled sweetly, but even you knew better. Behind that oh-very-sweet smile, there was venom and a ton of it. You rubbed your temples and plopped down on the nice-looking couch, thinking about what he was proposing.

“Then why choosing me if you don’t find me attractive? Not that it’s an issue, I’m just really trying to understand the situation here,” you said, totally ignoring the threat in his voice as you needed some much valuable answers. 

“Right, well, first of all, as I already mentioned, what I want, I get, honey, and you should always remember that. Secondly, it was your ability to keep a straight face, even though I can see the ability is not endless. I need somebody who will be sickly sweet to both my friends and enemies alike, who won’t mind a few sleazy comments from the old fuckers, and who will look like an obedient wife. I need somebody who will blend in and who will look trustworthy, and not like she was to stay only for a week. And when I saw you in that pub where you used to work, I could see you had what it took to be in this life, even if only for a year,” he finished, and you were glad you were right at least about the guy, Steve, also sending the people to sniff around your workplace. But then it hit you. 

“Where I used to work? I still work there,” you said dumbfounded, and Steve chuckled humorously. 

“Oh no, you don’t. You see, I need my wife free all the time and I need her here with me. Look, Y/N, this is getting tiring, and I really need an answer now. What is it gonna be, huh?”

“Like I even have a choice. You just said you would use force if I said no, so, what am I supposed to say, huh? I don’t want to get married, but I don’t have any money and your snoopy ass is getting in the way of my life, and you ended one of my jobs, and before you say you terminated my contract in the gallery, please think about it again. That job is very important to me, it has always been my dream to be in a gallery surrounded by beautiful art, and, by chance, having my art there as well. 

I don’t know Steve, your offer is very generous, it really is, but I don’t think I’m the right one,” you sighed finally and looked around the room, ignoring the boring looks from Steve. Then you saw the clock and you almost panicked, it was two minutes before 9. 

“Oh my God, I need to call my friends, or they’re gonna call the cops,” you said quickly already dialling Caroline’s number. You told her you were fine and that no, you weren’t a personal slave yet, but that you’d tell them everything when you got home. When the call ended, the venom was back in Steve’s eyes. 

“If you think you can talk to people about anything I have just said, you are terribly wrong, doll,” he seethed, and you were taken aback, but you didn’t want him to think he intimidated you.

“Well, if you think I’m not gonna tell my family about this, then it’s you who is terribly wrong, Steve. We tell each other everything, and if I considered this proposal of yours, it would mean Aidan and Caroline would know about this, at least that I’m marrying you for more than my undying love for you,” you spat back, and Steve saw the determination in your eyes. He knew he had to compromise with you, even if only a little bit. 

He already found out everything about you, he knew your whole life, your past, everything his people could find on the internet. And what he got from the search was that you and the people you lived with were extremely close. He considered getting rid of them but realised it would only push you away from what he needed from you. And he needed a wife ASAP. 

The mafia was still very conservative, and as he was the only boss without a constant woman by his side, he was sometimes excluded from important meetings that happened on “family retreats.” And he needed all the info there was if he wanted to be the best of the best. Or, the worst of the worst, if we were being literal. 

“Fine, but they will need to sign a contract saying that they will keep their mouths shut,” Steve smiled back, and you nodded, your head already spinning. 

Were you really considering it? But was there any other option? You needed the money, and it would’ve be great if you didn’t have to care about your student loan for the rest of your life. You would see the world, just like you wanted, you would have time for your art, and you would be free after only a year. That didn’t sound that bad. Sure, you’d be affiliated with a known mafia boss, but that was nothing you couldn’t handle. But there was still a question Steve didn’t answer. 

“What about my job at the gallery? If you made them fire me and I’m gonna find out tomorrow, I can’t even begin to consider this. I want that job, I want to work at that gallery, Steve.” 

“Fucking hell, I could buy you the gallery if you agreed!” He shouted, exasperated that it was taking so long. He really didn’t get it. He was proposing a life in luxury, and he knew that the majority of women in New York would be more than happy to be seen by his side. But you? You had to be difficult and even demand stuff. Fucking hell…

“But whatever, you wanna work there, fine. Whatever, I don’t give a fuck. Do we have a deal or not? I have better things to do with my evening than just bargain with you, honey,” he accentuated the pet name that you already hated.

Well, this wasn’t how you imagined your proposal to go. Not that you were too keen on the whole idea of a marriage, but still, a girl could dream. Yet, here you were, actually considering getting tied up with a mobster for a year just because he offered you enough money and a life that you felt like could be interesting, if only for a year and with a man who blatantly told you he wasn’t interested in you in that way. This was the only reason you didn’t feel as dirty as you expected because you knew he would never touch you and never want you to do something sexual against your will. 

You were used to lying through your teeth ever since you were little, your parents made sure you knew how important it was to keep your secret, and dangerous life wasn’t something you only heard of on TV. All this made the decision slightly easier, as you finally made up your mind. 

“Fine, but we still have a lot to talk about, Mr Rogers,” you set your jaw and outstretched your hand to shake on it with him. 

“Whatever, Mrs Rogers. Consider your rent paid and I’ll see you on Friday when we discuss our matter in greater detail. Now, if you excuse me,” he kissed the top of your hand and walked away. 

Well, this would be fun, you told yourself as you watched the man you would soon call your husband walk away from you, and contemplated whether you made the right choice. But your life wasn’t great as was, as much as you tried to fill it with laughter and happiness, and, in a sense, Steve offered you an out, even if only for a little bit. 

Here was to nothing, you hollered at yourself in your mind and followed one of the turtleneck-guys out of the manor and into the chilly air of evening New York.

/ Next Chapter >

Tags will be in reblogs. Taglist for this series is open, all you have to do is send an ask or a message to me :) x Thank you for reading!

[acourtofsnakes]

Nar dralshy'a - Rogue, Chapter 24| The Mandalorian x Force Sensitive! Reader

Gif by: @ansonmount​

Summary: After your successful escape from Moff Gideon’s cruiser, you and Din decide to take some time off. Unfortunately, you begin to have some rather... interesting dreams. 

Warnings: 18+ Smut!!! Like, intense smut. Threesome (mmf), blowjob, cunnilingus, unprotected sex, multiple penetration, anal (m receiving, f receiving), voyeurism, masturbation, multiple orgasms, literally just... Sex. Some swearing too, injury detail - this is pure filth. 

A/N: I have nothing to say but enjoy. I feel this makes up for no chapter last week. Have fun ♥︎

(Dream scene/smut is from roughly just after the middle to the end. Skip if it isn’t your thing♥︎)

Word Count: 4.6k+

Rogue Taglist: @snipskixandbeskar @weirdowithnobeardo @the-bottom-of-the-abyss @kenoobiwan @sarahjkl82-blog @boomtownboy @goldielocks2004 @seninjakitey @what-iwish-you-knew @queenofthefaceless @rosiefridayrogersunday-reads @greeneyedblondie44 @itsnottilly @welcometothepedroverse @xgoldenjenny @mamacitapascal @heyitsjaybird @amyk-37 @greatcircle79 @mikariell95 @justdrawings101​ 

Permanent Taglist: @greeneyedblondie44 @mamacitapascal @mypedrom @kaylee-krystal @queenofthefaceless​ 

Rogue Masterlist: 1: Solus | 2: Arir | 3: Tor | 4: Gaa'tayl ^ | 5: Kyr’am | 6: Cabur ^ | 7: Ret'urcye Mhi | 8: Haran | 9. E’tad | 10: Tome * | 11: Aliit Ori'shya Tal'din * | 12: Mar’eyce**^ | 13: Kov’nyn | 14: Ne’tra ^ | 15: Or’dinii | 16: Dar | 17: Haalur | 18: Mesh’la** | 19: Talyc ^^ | 20: Jorhaa'ir ^^ | 21: Hibirar | 22: Jetii’kad | 23: Tracinya| 24: Nar dralshy’a**| 

Mando’a Translation: Nar dralshy'a - Put your back into it

Din is alive. Din is alive. Din is alive. Din is alive. Din is alive. 

Those words repeated like a frantic mantra in your head, the whole way back to Boba’s ship. 

You encountered no one, even as Din stumbled and staggered along between you all. 

You knew that it mortified him, having to be half carried. But there was no way he could move on his own. And he was hovering on the edge of unconsciousness as it was. 

Din tipped his head back, looking at you through his cracked visor, “You came back for me…” His words were a little slurred and awestruck, like he was dreaming. The utter tone of disbelief broke your heart. 

This man had been left so many times…  Could he even comprehend that you’d brought a team to infiltrate an Imperial Cruiser, face down not only Moff Gideon, but also a Shadow King from legend, and still walk – stumble – out of here? 

Probably not. 

You looked down at him, wishing you could caress his face, his jaw – anything. “Of course I came back for you. I’d always come back for you.”  You pressed your forehead to his, in that beloved keldabe kiss that meant so much to you both. 

Din let out a soft huff of breath, maybe a smile beneath the visor…

And then collapsed. 

~~~

~~

The following four hours were some of the worst of your life. Ahsoka and yourself had used your powers to assess his injuries and… The poor man was battered. 

How he had survived a fall like that in a body full of rock hard beskar, you would never, ever know. 

Clearly the Maker was watching out for him. 

Regardless, healing him came with its own set of difficulties. 

Naturally, you couldn’t remove Din’s armour, so you and Ahsoka had to make do with healing through it… Which meant you had no idea if what you did actually worked, since he was still out cold. 

You’d managed to pop his shoulder back in, one of you pushing with the Force and the other pulling – even if it had sent another crack through his collarbone that you swore you could feel in your own body. 

Hour by hour, you worked carefully to heal your fallen warrior. 

Even after those four hours, after you were emotionally, mentally, and physically spent, he still wasn’t fully healed. His ankle remained sprained beneath his boot, his broken bones still requiring at least a week’s rest and as for any lingering effects in his head and internal organs… Well, that was something you would have to monitor yourself over the coming days. 

Din had started to stir during the treatment on his ribs, groaning in pain with his skin flushed and clammy beneath the armour – or so you gathered from the thin strip of skin showing at his wrist. Ahsoka had quickly pushed him back into unconsciousness, where he still remained now. 

He was laying on a collection of cloaks and blankets, on the only bit of free floor space at the back of the ship – he was a rather tall, broad man. You were curled on the floor next to him, his gloved hand clasped between two of yours and you just watched his covered face. 

More than anything, you wish you were able to see him. 

See that face that you already cherished, held so dear in your heart without even needing to see it. 

He could have died, and you would never have known the colour of his eyes.

You respected his Creed, never questioned it, but… You would be lying if you didn’t admit that lately, that urge to see him had become a living, breathing thing. 

To see his lips, curling up into a smile… Maybe he had dimples. 

The frown as the kid did something, or as he thought about some random question you’d asked out of the blue and he couldn’t comprehend how that even made sense to the current conversation. Like that time, you asked if knew they were droids, and if they wanted to be something else. Which had then prompted a two-hour long discussion with Din arguing that droids were programmed and you insisting they had some spectrum of natural emotion that wasn’t programmed in. 

You wished you could see the light of a sunrise turning his eyes molten, or to see what they looked like as he gazed at you. The love that would shine through them. 

Or to watch his expressions when the pair of you were together, to see those eyes darken with desire for you, or his face contort in pleasure as you worshipped him. 

You sighed softly, resting your chin on your knees and you held his gloved hand between your own. 

These thoughts continued to swirl around you mind as you massaged his palm and fingers, letting the sounds of the others become a lulling background murmur. 

Did he think you wouldn’t love him? Was that it?

You couldn’t exactly assure him... He would think you were asking for him to take it off, that you weren’t happy. 

And you were happy. More than happy, with whatever he could offer you. The man had shown you how to live, rather than just survive. 

“Maybe you actually should ask him about that, darling. Ask him why he will willingly die for you… but still won’t show you his face.” 

Your body locked up at that silken whisper in your head, the same voice that had followed you from the Cruiser, the same voice that had stalked you for years. 

His voice. 

You hadn’t told anyone that he was in your head again, nor did you tell anyone about the beast now slumbering in your chest, one ear pricked up to listen for that call. That same beast that had purred when you destroyed – there was no other word for it – those Stormtroopers in the hallway. 

The act you had pulled off before stabbing Haran… You weren’t entirely sure how much of it was pretend. 

“I knew it. You can’t fool me. Or rather, you don’t need to fool me, darling. All I want it for you to have everything you deserve, and more. I could make you a Queen.” 

A Queen. 

Ruling over people he decided were less worthy? No thank you. 

You were happy here, with your friends. Your family. You didn’t need darkness or fear… Just this. 

“If that’s what you choose to believe. But you know, deep down… You crave it. I know the beast slumbering in you, darkling. It won’t be long before it wakes up.”

Just before you could spiral too deep into the thoughts he was putting into your head, you felt Din’s fingers twitch in yours, just briefly. 

Your heart leapt into your throat and you dropped your knees to sit up straighter, “Lori?” You were still around your friends, after all, so the nickname came out. 

“You didn’t think I’d give up that easily, did you?” His rough baritone filled your senses, hoarse and slightly pained but unmistakeably Din. 

Something broke in your chest, like it caved in and a sob caught in your throat, “Oh.” You blinked down at his shiny head, and then dropped your own to his chest, not caring that it was hard and cold. It was him. He was okay. 

You’d fixed him up and he was okay and here and… safe. 

A soft chuckle rumbled beneath you and his free hand cupped the back of your head, “Hey… I survived a fall and kidnapping… I’m sure I could suffer through your nursing.” His thumb stroked over your hair, cradling you to the beskar chest and you swore you could hear his heart beating beneath it. 

“You’re lucky you still need to finish healing, otherwise I would be beating your ass for all of this.” Your words were mumbled through tears, breath fogging up the beskar and you slid your arm up under his shoulder, shivering a little. 

Din laughed again – shallowly, his ribs were still sore – and pressed the chin of his helmet against your head gently, “Oh, I know. I’m waiting for it, believe me.” He squeezed your hand, just savouring the feel of you in his arms, allowing himself to relax. You were here with him, not on the Cruiser – and not a slave to Haran’s persuasion. 

There was the pitter-patter of many feet, and then a tiny green body began to clamber up the beskar mountain, “Bah.” 

Din lifted his head, watching as Grogu crawled along his belly and plopped down just near your head, reaching out with grabby hands. “Hey, kid…” His voice turned a little thicker as you let go of his hand, so he could pull the kid closer. 

“He missed you… He cried every night and put up a hell of a fight when we left him with Boba.” It was true, Grogu had attempted to use his powers on you all, until you managed to soothe him – and put him in Boba’s helmet, purely so he couldn’t clamber out of the beskar bucket. 

Plus, it was ridiculously adorable, watching him spin around in the helmet until his tears melted into high giggles. 

Din was most likely raising his eyebrows underneath his helmet, stroking Grogu’s cheek with his thumb, “Is that true, you little womp rat?” 

Grogu cooed, tilting his head into Din’s hand and blinking those big, glossy eyes – the picture of innocence. 

A mewl came from behind you, and then Duru hopped nimbly onto Din’s belly – earning a soft oof from him because she’s not exactly light. She settled on his belly, curling her tail around her clawed feet and a rumbly purr came from her chest. 

You smiled slowly, reaching out to stroke her ears, “Oh, and this one spent every night howling. I had no idea Loth cats could even make a noise like that but… Here we are. I’m sure the others will be eager to get rid of us and the rabble.” 

“Damn, straight. I’m an old man, I need peace and quiet when I sleep.” Boba’s gravelly voice travelled from the cockpit, a sign that though they were all trying very hard to pretend not to be listening, he couldn’t help himself. 

A warm chuckle slipped from your lips as you shook your head, settling as close to Din as you could, his hand on your head trailing down your spine and coming to rest at the small of your back, “See.”

Din didn’t answer with words, but with a soft sniffle – like he was crying. 

Worry careened through you and you touched the edge of his visor, “Hey… Why are you crying? Are you in pain?” You reached out a hand, ready to soothe any discomfort that may have cropped up. 

Grogu made a little questioning noise, crawling to Din’s chest and patting the edge of the helmet, his ears flapping, like he too was worried. 

Din shook his head, clearing his throat but his voice was still choked, “It’s just… I’ve been on my own for… years. Been hurt, captured, attacked more times than I can count but…” He looked over you all, motioned to the cockpit, “I’ve never had this. A rescue team… A family who missed me. It’s still… so new.” His words seemed a little unsure, like he still wasn’t used to voicing such vulnerabilities aloud either. 

His uncertainty melted you, and you slid your hand up as if cupping his cheek, meeting the horizontal band of his visor, where you always seemed to look directly into his eyes, “Me either… But this is our clan, remember? Our family. And no matter what, we will always come back for each other. Even if we take on bases of Imperial troops and fall out of the sky.” You gave him a cheeky smile, your eyes soft and adoring. 

The eye roll was nearly audible, but he still chuckled, sliding his hand up to cup the back of your neck and pull you down for a keldabe kiss, “You are insufferable.” 

Your eyes closed, hand moving down to rest over the fabric on his neck, “Ah, but you still love me for it.” 

Din let out a playful, long suffering sigh, “I suppose I do, don’t I?” He was grinning beneath the helmet though, revelling in this feeling of his family clustered around him, his kids curled on his chest and his friends just a little way away. 

No longer alone. 

“Well, I love you too.”

~~~

~~

A little while later, you were all clustered in the cockpit, saying your thank you’s and temporary goodbyes. 

Boba was going to fly the pair of you to where they’d stashed the Razor Crest, and then escort you to the nearest jump point. From there, Din had informed you that you would be going to a Sanctuary planet. 

The same one he had scoped out for himself and Grogu all that time ago, way before any of this. 

You both deserved a break – the kids too. 

You were looking forward to it, the chance to just… be free, even for a little while. To feel the sun on your skin, to be able to dip your feet in the cool water of a babbling brook and chase the kids through trees and fields of exotic flowers. 

To not think about other things for a while. 

Before too long, you were making your way into the Crest, and then into the sky. 

Home. 

Boba and the others escorted you to the jump point as promised, where you waved goodbye and then you were in hyperspace again, as if nothing had ever happened. 

Of course, the events of the past week would have repercussions. You’d be a fool to think otherwise… But for now, you didn’t want to think about that. You just wanted to be with your family, and rest. 

Even if it did mean going back to the cramped little bed that barely fit your body on, let alone yourself and Din. 

But it was familiar, and it was home. 

Maybe we could upgrade after the Sanctuary planet… I could convince him. 

You fell asleep thinking of plans and ways to convince your Mandalorian to shell out some credits and upgrade this sorry excuse for a bed. 

At some point in the night, a haze overtook your dreamless sleep, pulling you into a place that you weren’t even aware of…

~~~

~~

“You beautiful thing… Look at your Mandalorian. Look at him, darling.” Haran’s scarred hands roamed your back, massaging the flesh, scraping his nails down either side of your spine to your ass cheeks. “Let him see the look on his face as I fuck you.”

A breathy moan escaped your lips, your back arching up like a cat’s and then further, as the blunt head of Haran’s cock nudged your soaking entrance and then slipped inside. 

Stars above. 

Haran was as long as Din was, but a little thicker. Enough to stretch your walls almost a little painfully, but Maker did it feel amazing. 

Your head dropped down, your arms trembling slightly where they held you up and you let out a noise that was sinful. “Fuck…” Your back arched a little more, feeling him settle deep inside you, nudging far within you and filling you up deliciously, in a way somehow different to Din. 

A soft snarl came from above you, and then one of Haran’s hands wrapped around your throat, yanking your head back up with the pressure, “I said, look at him.” He squeezed your neck, cutting of your air enough to send your eyes to the back of your head momentarily before they settled on Din. 

He was seated on a couch at the end of the bed, shadows wreathed around his body which must have been bare underneath. His helmet and gloves remained on, and he was focused on you, on Haran.

The thought of Din being naked, his bare skin on show underneath those shadows… that made you even wetter, made your walls clench around Haran’s cock and earn a grunt from the Shadow King.  

Over Din’s shoulder, a big, ornate framed glass rested on the dark walls, a mirror that reflected his bed. 

Of course there was. 

You were entranced by it, torn between watching Din and watching yourself, with Haran’s lean, toned body rising up behind you as he began to move, taking you deep and rough with his scarred hands gripping your hips with bruising strength. 

Your breasts bounced with each thrust, your swollen lips parted in ecstasy as you rocked backward, meeting Haran with each movement, so that the room filled with the filthy sound of his balls hitting your slicked body, sending jolts of pressure through your clit. 

His hand remained squeezing around your throat, and he bent his body down over yours to meet your gaze in the mirror, white teeth flashing and he bit at your shoulder, hard enough to draw blood, “You like me fucking you, don’t you? You like seeing him watch me fuck you.” 

A keening noise escaped your lips, your own teeth sinking into your lower lip as a trail of blood rang down your shoulder, “Yes – fuck, yes.” You jolted back against him, wanting to feel him tomorrow, wanted to not be able to walk. “Harder.” 

Haran let out a dark, velvet chuckle against your shoulder, his tongue darting out to catch the bead of blood and he hummed in ecstasy at your taste, “As you wish, my Queen.” He rose back up straight behind you, and began a brutal, bruising pace. 

The relentless thud of his cock against your g-spot made your brain disconnect form your body for a second, your vison blanking before it cleared again.  

Din groaned long and deep, leaning forward for a better view, fascinated by the scene before him.

Watching as someone else, the Shadow-King no less, fucked his cyar'ika. 

And it was driving him absolutely feral. 

The very image of you, that pleasure on your face as Haran drove into you, was killing him. He always thought he would hate it, absolutely despise the very notion of another man touching you. But Haran was different, there was no denying. He was embroidered into the fabric of your lives, whether Din liked it or not. 

And now, here he was, his dick positively weeping as he beheld the scene before him, his skin tight and itchy with desire. 

The smooth, worn leather of his gloves was torturous over his aching cock, unable to resist curling his hand around his length, moving in time with you and Haran. 

Din couldn’t look away… Especially as Haran pulled out, then slammed back into you instantly, hand tightening even tighter around your throat. He circled his hips, hitting all the spots Din knew himself and then your eyes squeezed shut, heady release crashing over you and your arms gave way as you moaned – no, screamed - Haran’s name. 

He kept fucking you, pounding into you again and again, as you cried your pleasure into the bed covers, Haran’s seed soon dripping between your thighs as he came too. 

And Din wasn’t sure who was most jealous of Haran… or you. To be the one making you scream, making your body contort like some kind of goddess, or to be the one on his hands and knees with that mouth-watering length breaking him apart. 

Maker, he was going to explode just from the sheer thought of that. 

Like you’d read his mind, you lifted your head, your eyes blown impossibly wide with lust and you reached out for him, eyes focused hungrily on his throbbing length. 

Your tongue darted out, licking over your swollen bottom lip and then he was right there. 

You wasted no time, those devilish lips lowering over his cock and then the hot, silken smoothness of your mouth encased him. 

You both moaned again in unison, the sound vibrating through Din’s head and you eagerly lapped up the bead of precum leaking from his tip. 

You didn’t think you would ever get bored of Din’s taste, the feeling of him heavy in your mouth as you bobbed your head, sinking down deep enough that your nose brushed his curls and he slipped down your throat. He was like velvet wrapped steel, and you would never get enough. 

Din stuttered a curse, his gloved hand fisting in your hair and holding you there, “F-fuck, sweetheart…” His helmet tilted back, groans spilling from it as you swallowed. 

Haran was rapidly hardening again inside you, watching you swallow down Din’s length and he was suddenly moving again, fucking you rough and deep, causing your body to rock around your Mandalorian’s cock. “That’s it, darling…. Good girl…” His hand dragged up your back to your head, entwining with Din’s and the pair of them bobbed your head up and down. 

A muffled moan slipped from your throat, the three of you setting a pace as Din began to jerk his hips into your mouth, working in tandem with Haran’s pace. 

The scent of sex hung heavy in the air, mixed with the scent of both boys, creating an intoxicating aroma that would cling to you all for days to come. 

As you swirled your tongue along the underside of Din’s length, you heard the tell-tale schwoomp of a helmet being removed. 

A trace of panic made your body lock up for a second, before Din’s hand stroked through your hair, “Easy, sweetheart, it’s okay.” 

Something cool brushed over your eyes, and you realised Haran had set a blindfold of shadow around your head and must be wearing one of his own. 

You briefly wondered why, before you heard the faintly wet noise of a messy, swollen kiss above your head – the boys making out as they fucked and were fucked by you, all three of you racing to push each other off that cliff of pleasure first.

A haze overtook the dream, changing the scene and then there you were, reclined on a luxurious sofa, furs scattered beneath your body. 

The pleasant burning hum in your bones signified that you had just received yet another mind-blowing release, clearly reclined here to recover because the couch was situated at the end of the bed. 

Facing it. 

And on top… Din, helmet still on and those dreamy shadows still surrounding his body like a shield. But perhaps they were courtesy of Haran, because the King of Shadows was kneeling in front, back pressed to Din’s chest… As Din rocked in and out of him from behind, gloved hands gripping his hips to hold him in place. 

Holy Maker above. 

Your humming body instantly tightened, snapping to attention as wetness flooded the tops of your thighs. Eyes still firmly on your boys, you reclined back further, spreading your legs and slipping a hand between them. 

You traced slow, lazy circles around your clit, the silky slickness aiding in smooth movements to slowly begin another fire. 

Haran tilted his chin down from resting on Din’s shoulder, his arm stretched above him with his hand on the back of Din’s neck, “Look at that. Our little princess likes watching you fuck me, Lori.” His liquid voice was rough with lust and pleasure, his obsidian eyes burning like black fire. His other scarred hand was pumping over his swollen cock, moving in time with Din’s deep thrusts. 

Din groaned, his helmet tilted down and tucked into Haran’s neck  and you knew his eyes were darting between their bodies, and your fingers, “Good.” He gripped Haran’s hips tighter, thrusting particularly deep into his ass and both men moaned in unison, “Keep your eyes on her when I make you come.” 

A keening moan left your lips, two fingers slipping down and inside your aching walls. You didn’t know where to look, what to focus on first, particular when Din’s gloved hand covered Haran’s and guided it faster over the Shadow King’s considerable length. “Harder, Lori.” 

Din chuckled, low and rough, “Your wish is my command, mesh’la.” He obeyed your order, leaning forward so that Haran’s body folded slightly, allowing him a better angle to fuck up into him, deep, pounding movements of hips that had both men’s bodies jerking beautifully. 

Your trio of moans bounced around the dimly lit room, the faint squeak of the bed and the sound of Din’s balls slapping against Haran’s skin… 

The haze came over again, bringing with it a medley of different scenes – your lips round Haran’s cock, whilst Din lay beneath you, his tongue spearheading up into you. The three of you engaged in a messy kiss, the boys at your mercy as you moved your hands in torturous paces, making them fall apart at the same time and coat your thighs. And then Din, his long, lean body folded into the bed as Haran worked him over, first with his fingers and then his own length, all whilst Din lapped and sucked at your aching folds, his tongue inside you again. 

It cleared once more.

You were spent, leaning back into Haran’s chest, feeling the aftershocks of your orgasm shudder through you. You had no idea which one it was now. Your brain had given up in trying to keep count, surrendering itself to the overwhelming pleasure of your two boys worshipping your body. You were seated between them, both of them inside you still, body numb with the new pleasure from where Haran was currently softening inside your ass.

And the absolute mind melting experience of earlier, watching the pair of them fuck each other as you recovered.

“Come on, darling. We know you have more in you…” Soft lips grazed the shell of your ear, a cool wash of Haran’s breath tickling and making goosebumps rise to the surface. 

Then, Din’s large, warm hands caressed your hips, your thighs, massaging the flesh with a firm grip to regain the feeling in them, “He’s right, cyar’ika. I know you have more in you… I know you want more already. You’re so good, sweetheart, you take us both so well… Want to go again?”

A breathless moan escaped your lips, your body wrecked and numb but at their twin voices, the deep purr that lined them both… The heat rose low in your belly again and you craved the feeling of them both once, filling you up, pushing you over the edge as the you all moved in a perfect, dark harmony… 

~~~

~~

You startled awake, bolt upright with the sound of seductive laughter in your ears and the twin feel of lips ghosting over your skin. 

What. 

The actual. 

Fuck?!

It took you a moment to work out that it was a dream, that you were curled up with just Din in your small bed, the engine humming as autopilot took you to a Sanctuary planet. 

Lifting a hand to your face, you felt how flushed your skin was, heat still pooling between your legs and your heart pounded. You were soaked – clearly having reached a silent high in your sleep. 

What in Maker’s name was that? 

Stars above you needed a drink. 

You slipped from the bed, Din barely stirring - no wonder, he hadn’t slept the whole time he’d been away. 

You padded through the ship to the kitchen area and poured yourself a glass of the nearest alcohol you could find – trying to ignore the fact that your thighs were a little sticky. 

Why were you have fantasies about Din and Haran?

Trauma?

Maybe you were sick?

Yeah. Yeah that’s it. Sickness. Maybe even a fever. 

“Oh my love, this is no sickness. You’re dreaming about us because you want it. Your knight of light and your demon of the dark. You can pretend all you like, but you’re drawn to me.”

Haran. 

He was in your head - of course he was. 

You growled, slamming the glass down with more force than was necessary. Your body trembled, either with anger or the aftershocks of what you had just imagined. 

You recognised the wave in your mind, similar to when Ahsoka spoke to you through the Force. “Get the fuck out of my head, you creep.” 

That dark, velvet laughter again, “You think I sent you the dream? Oh, darling. You were the one practically throwing it at me. Here I was, trying to enjoy a nice dream and what should pop into my head but something like that? I always knew you had it in you, darling. ”

Heat flushed your cheeks again, along with anger, “Get. Out.”

Haran practically purred, “You, Me and Lori, wrapped up together. Now, I have no qualms about a crowd, but I have to admit, I was a little surprised that you would send it to me.” 

You shook your head, as if you could throw him out like that. 

He continued, his voice flowing through your body, just like his lips and tongue had, the way his phantom power had provided you pleasure whilst Din explored other parts of you, “You like the idea of two men worshipping you, don’t you darling?” He was quiet, like he was reading you, “Oh, you don’t care who it is. You just want to be worshipped. And you want to watch me and your knight fuck too? Oh, you dirty little girl… Does he know? Does he know that you want to watch and be watched… That you want to try everything?”

You hissed, pushing against the feeling of him in your mind, trying to force him out but you felt his silken shadows sneaking through your body, felt the phantom brush of his hands – and other parts of him – and to your utter horror, you realised you were growing wet again. 

And a dark part of you was desperate to yield to it. To succumb to that darkness and let it wash through you. 

No. 

Get a grip. 

“Fuck. Off.” 

Unbidden, your dream started to come back to you again, the boys on their knees before you, their hands, their tongues. And not only that, but the sight of them together, their bodies rocking and writhing in rhythm - 

Another growl ripped from your chest,  even as you ached to slip your fingers inside – or to go and wake Din up and fly to wherever Haran was - “Enough.” You threw the word through space to him, slamming it into his mind with a full wave of power. 

A final dark chuckle, and then he slipped from your mind, leaving you in peace. 

Well, as peaceful as you could be, with the tingles on your skin and the dampness between your thighs.

It was going to be a long night. 

Previous| Next

[fanmoose12]

catch me if you can

Сharacters: Hange Zoe, Levi, Erwin Smith, Kenny Ackerman

Genres: Mystery / Romance

Summary: The Ackerman duo. Just the mention of this name filled Hange with so many feelings. Mostly, when she reread the files of their cases over and over, until her eyes watered, she felt pricking annoyance. Sometimes, when she stared at the dead bodies of those scarce unfortunates who stumbled upon their crimes, she was filled with hatred and a pushing need for revenge. Hange couldn’t deny, however, there were times when she marveled at the impudence of their crimes. And, when she was investigating the Ackerman’s cases and saw just how meticulously planned they all were, she couldn’t help but feel something close to fascination.No one knew who they were. No one had seen their faces, no one knew their true names. Almost everyone knew of their crimes.Hange was determined to unravel every last one of their secrets. She will put an end to their crimes and then she will get the elusive Ackermans behind bars.

Chapter 9/?

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

“We aren’t looking for Krista Lenz. We’re searching for Historia.”

Despite the evidence quite literally staring right back at her, Hange could scarcely believe what she herself had just said. Krista Lenz, the missing girl she was searching for, wasn’t actually Krista Lenz? Apparently, the girl’s name was Historia, at least, according to the birth certificate. But it didn’t make any sense, and, what’s worse, it raised so many additional questions…

The main question, of course, was the reason for why the girl was living under a false name, and how did Kenny Ackerman acquire this piece of information? And for what purpose?

Luckily, she had the person, who, hopefully, could shed some light on this new mystery. Hange shoved the photo and the document in Ackerman’s hands, staring at him expectantly. “Do you know something about this?”

He didn’t answer right away, and that gave Hange a semblance of hope. Perhaps, it was just a misunderstanding? Perhaps, the photo and the birth certificate were put into one envelope by a trick of fate? And Krista Lenz was truly Krista Lenz? Hange certainly hoped so. It would save her so much trouble.

Ackerman’s eyes were narrowed as he studied the document. Hange watched him with bated breath.

Her world crumbled when he gave a little nod.

“I think I know where Kenny got it. Remember the robbery of that politician’s manor? Kenny stole this thing from the guy’s safe.”

Hange remembered that robbery, remembered that murdered man. But how could it possibly be connected to her recent case?

“How did you know where to find it? And why did your uncle need it in the first place? It makes no sense…”

“On the contrary,” Ackerman shook his head. “Now everything makes perfect sense. I couldn’t understand why Reiss asked us to rob that guy’s house, but now I’m starting to think that your missing girl…”

“Wait! Wait!” Hange silenced him with her palm on his mouth. She whirled around, starting to pace around the room. What he was saying just now? He didn’t mean it, right? At least, not in the way Hange comprehended it. It couldn’t be, she refused to believe it. But what if Ackerman was telling the truth? What if— Hange turned back to him, her eyes pleading for him to say it was an ill-timed joke. “What was that about Reiss? Did you mean Rod Reiss, the member of the parliament? That Reiss?”

“Naturally.”

Hange slowly sank into an armchair. Her head was spinning, her thoughts were going in circles. Rod Reiss, the model politician, the law abiding citizen was working directly with Ackermans. It seemed completely outlandish.

“Are you serious?” she asked quietly, to keep herself from shrieking. “Are you actually fucking serious?”

Ackerman shrugged, looking so nonchalant, a stark contrast to her frantic appearance. “Why would I lie about this?”

Why indeed… Logically, Hange knew there was no reason for him to lie about Reiss’ involvement, but, damn it, she just couldn’t wrap her head about this. Even the notion seemed utterly ridiculous, like it was taken from a dumb conspiracy theory.

“Just before I dropped your case…” Hange began, desperately trying to find a way to contradict Ackerman’s claim. “He wanted to help me solve it. He offered me money and people, anything to get you behind bars.”

And that meant that he wasn’t working with them, right? It meant that Reiss was actually a good guy, who wanted to fight the bad ones.

He’s a politician, a voice that sounded suspiciously like Erwin reminded her. You can’t get so high just from being good.

Despite her endless stubbornness, Hange couldn’t disagree with that. Those who held a lot of power didn’t acquire it from being honest and honorable.

Reiss claimed he wanted to catch Ackermans, but that desire could just be his attempt to cover up his traces.

Fuck.

Ackerman was right. Everything was starting to make sense.

“I guess Reiss wanted to get rid of us,” Ackerman confirmed her guess. Hange’s heart sank. “Maybe, that’s why Kenny didn’t return him this,” he showed her the birth certificate.

Hange felt another wave of nausea. If she correctly understood what Ackerman was implying…

“Are you saying that the missing girl…” she swallowed, reluctant to end that sentence. It would become more real then.

“Yes,” Ackerman nodded, his voice a little softer. Was it his attempt at giving her a bit of comfort? Did he simply pity her? “I think that your Krista Lenz is actually Historia. And that her father is Rod Reiss.”

Even before he spoke, Hange knew that Ackerman had reached that conclusion. Reluctantly, she was almost ready to agree with him. But… her inner world was practically in shambles. Rod Reiss, the good-willed, kind looking man with a gentle smile, was working with the criminals. He had a secret daughter.

She really couldn’t trust anyone, huh? She should have learnt this simple truth by now. Levi Ackerman did a great job of teaching that lesson to her, after all.

Hange dropped head into her hands, letting out a deep, bone-weary sigh. Couldn’t she have at least one simple, easy case? One that wouldn’t make her revalue all of her relationships and lose her faith in the humanity?

A case like that would have been real nice.

But instead she had a case that grew more complicated with each clue and a girl who was waiting to be rescued.

If nothing else, Hange couldn’t let Krista Lenz down. Or Historia, whichever name was the correct one.

“Hey listen…” a tentative touch to her shoulder and a gentle voice in her ear made Hange jump. She looked up and saw Ackerman, standing right next to her. He was… gods, he looked worried. Hange didn’t know if she should be amused or slighted. Just how pathetic she seemed just now, if Ackerman decided to comfort her? “I know it’s a lot to take in…”

Hange brushed his hand aside, abruptly jumping to her feet. Ackerman could take his pity and fuck himself with it. It was a lot to take in, but she was fine. She had taken it all in, she dealt with that mind-blowing revelation. Well, she didn’t really deal with it, but she took a pause in dealing with it. She’d finish the processing after this fucking day was over and she’d get drunk at some shitty bar. But now, she had work that needed her attention. And Hange was ready to begin.

“Give me that,” she snatched the birth certificate out of Ackerman’s hand, studying it intently. The graph with the father’s name wasn’t filled, but the mother’s name was there. Alma. There was no last name, but still, it was a start. Certainly not very promising, but Hange did more with less.

Alas, there was nothing interesting about the document except the name of the child’s mother. The child was born here, in their city, twenty two years ago. Krista Lenz was exactly twenty-two years old. A small detail that simply couldn’t be overlooked.

Next, Hange turned her attention to the photo. The picture showed adult Krista, and it was shot from distance, only her profile visible. Could it mean that someone was spying on her? If Krista was Historia, and a daughter of Rod Reiss, it made sense that he was keeping tabs on her. However…

Hange’s eyes widened, the realization swiftly settling.

The photo and the document, it didn’t come from Reiss. Reiss asked Ackermans to steal it for him, meaning…

“Do you think Reiss has enemies?” she asked Ackerman. “Do you think that someone wanted to expose him?”

“Perhaps,” Ackerman tentatively replied. His eyebrows furrowed, as he continued, rubbing his chin. “The guy that we killed… he wasn’t supposed to be at home that night. Reiss said he wasn’t going to be at home.”

“But he was.” Hange uttered, confused.

“He was,” Ackerman agreed. “And I think Reiss knew about it.”

“You think he tried to set you up?”

“Possibly. Or it was a pure coincidence and the guy just decided to return from the party earlier. Or…” he spread his arms, his point more than clear.

Closing eyes, Hange rubbed her temples. Possibly, Ackerman said. Well, she was definitely getting into something she shouldn’t. Secret children, Ackermans, nasty politicians… It was well above her paygrade.

But she couldn’t just give up. And, fortunately, she knew a place where they could find more information. If the person spying on Krista wasn’t Reiss, then it was someone who was actively trying to expose him. Someone who had died before he could reach his goal.

Hange still remembered that brief conversation she had with the politician’s widow, remembered her mentioning something about a girl that worked for her late husband. Perhaps, that girl was the one who took that photo of Krista. And if she found Krista once, perhaps, she’d help them to find her again.

The plan of action was prepared, and that was enough to calm Hange’s mind. At least, for a short while.

“We’re going to visit the politician’s house,” she announced to Ackerman. “His widow might know something.”

“You want to go to the house of the guy we robbed and killed? Awesome.”

Hange hummed, letting her eyes linger on Ackerman’s bored face. There was a question that’s been bugging her for a long time now, ever since she learnt about his true identity. They weren’t in a hurry yet, so she decided to take another moment to satisfy her curiosity. “That guy… were you the one who killed him?”

Ackerman stared back at her, his eyes surprisingly honest. “Would it make you feel better if I tell you that my uncle did it?”

Would it make her feel better to know that he was just a thief, and not a murderer? Maybe. Or, maybe not. Hange wasn’t sure what feeling this knowledge would provoke. These days, she wasn’t sure what to feel at all. The only feeling she was certain of was the exhaustion.

“Back at the museum…” perhaps, bringing this up was unreasonable. Perhaps, completely unnecessary. But she had been thinking about it, a lot. She had already formulated an explanation. Now she wanted to hear Ackerman’s reasoning, and see if the two versions were compatible in any way. “I know you weren’t the one who shot me, your uncle is much taller. When he raised that gun, he was aiming at my head, I could see it clearly,” she laughed, the sound too broken to be genuine. “I thought I was already done for, so why…”

“Why what, four-eyes?” Ackerman snapped. “Why did I stop him? Do you actually not know?”

Ackerman was staring right at her, his impassive mask slipping to reveal his anger and… frustration? Hange couldn’t clearly interpret the look in his eyes, not when she was so confused herself. She swallowed heavily, her heart pounding as she struggled to look away. Ackerman’s gaze… was burning.

“I wouldn’t have let Kenny kill you. I couldn’t bear the thought,” he said, his voice raw. He took a step towards her, and, subconsciously, Hange took a step away from him, her back now pressed against the wall. Despite their height difference, Levi seemed to loom over her, his eyes brimming with feeling. The feeling of… what? Hange didn’t know if she wished to know the answer. “Do you actually not understand why I did it?”

Ackerman was wrong. She did understand. She had him figured out, all thanks to dark, long and sleepless nights.

“You still needed me, right? That was your reason? I was still useful to you, that’s why—”

“Useful?”

Hange flinched at his tone. There was no protest there, no anger. His voice was thick with pain. Her eyes widened at the realization.

“What did I use you for, Hange?” he grabbed the lapels of her coat, roughly pulling her close to him. His breath was hot on her skin, and his fists were clenched so tightly she could almost hear the sound of the coat’s fabric ripping. “What did I ever use you for? Did I steal something from you? Did I get some piece of information out of you? You gave me the keys to your damn office, I held your shitty notebook in my hands, and did I use it?”

In the face of his outrage, Hange felt numb. She didn’t try to push him away, felt too weak to escape from him. She could only stare helplessly at him, feeling small and insignificant. Feeling like she had missed something vital, a central piece of the puzzle.

“I don’t know,” she murmured. “I didn’t check, perhaps you did take something—”

He breathed a curse into her face, his eyes a liquid fire. Just as suddenly as he had grabbed her, Levi let her go.

His back was now facing her, as he stared out of the window, his breathing loud and irregular.

“You can think whatever you want about me,” he said, deadly quiet. “You can think that I am a liar, a thief and a scumbag. But I didn’t use you Hange. It was never my intention. And if you really don’t know why I didn’t let you die, then you’re a shitty fucking detective. No wonder you couldn’t catch us.”

He stormed out of the room a second after, leaving Hange to stare incredulously after him.

His words, his touch, his eyes, it weighted down on her. They made it hard to breathe.

The places where Levi had touched her were burning, his words were still ringing in her ears and she couldn’t quite shake off the image of his eyes, his stare furious, but simultaneously hurt.

She was hoping to gain some clearance, hoping to deal with one of the many mysteries of her life. But now she was even more confused.

She took one deep breath after another, clutching at her chest. What the heck had just happened? What was Levi so worked about, what was he— it was another lie of his, another act, it had to be, Hange at last decided. What else it could be? Levi, no, Ackerman, he couldn’t really speak the truth just now? Because if that was the truth, then—

The loud bang of the closing door snapped Hange out of her reverie.

She was being naïve and foolish, again.

She was letting him get into her head, she was allowing him to fool her once more. But she wouldn’t let him do it, not after everything she had gone through.

She also couldn’t let him distract her from the case. Be her name Krista or Historia, but that girl needed to be saved. Hange had to save her.

And she wouldn’t be able to find her if she continued to stare numbly at the wall.

Hange shook her head, pushed the hair back from her face and fixed the lapels of her coat. She had no time for confusing feelings, she had to get back to work.

She was fully intent on doing that, until she remembered what had helped her get her focus back. The front door was thrown closed…

Hange shrieked, her hands flying to her head. Ackerman! He had escaped!

With a lightning speed, she rushed out of the room and out of the apartment. She took two stairs at the time, hurrying to get to the bottom of the stairwell. Her mind worked just as fast as her legs, as Hange tried to predict what direction Ackerman would take. Where would he go? Would she be able to find him? Should she even find him, after everything that just transpired?

By the time, she reached the exit of the apartment complex and tumbled out on a street, Hange was completely out of breath. She took a fleeting second, doubling over in an attempt to stop her lungs from burning out. Shit, she was getting too old for this kind of thing.

With her breathes still coming out way too rapidly, Hange slowly straightened out. Left or right? Which direction Ackerman would take? Maybe, if she was lucky, she’d catch him before he ran away.

But as Hange turned her gaze to her left, she was surprised to see that the escaped criminal… didn’t actually escape. He was standing right next to her, lazily smoking a cigarette.

“I thought you had a girl to save, detective?” he asked in a bored, indifferent voice.

Hange hated how good he was at concealing what was going on inside him. She was still shaking.

She also hated how attractive the damn bastard was, especially while smoking.

But Ackerman was right. There was a girl, and she needed to be saved.

Hange shrugged, adopting a more confident stance. She couldn’t let him know she was worried that he left. Or how handsome she thought he was. She had embarrassed herself plenty already.

So with a determined face, Hange lifted an arm, hailing a taxi.

There was no time for feelings. Not when there was work needed to be done.

***

The time they’ve spent in taxi was spent in silence.

Hange was looking out of the window, stubbornly refusing to even look in his direction. Levi himself was staring at his knees, lost to his own thoughts.

There was a lot he had to think about, the main focus, of course, was on Kenny and his involvement with Reiss and his new-found daughter.

Levi had kept a faint hope that when they got to their apartment, Kenny would be there, laying on a coach with a cigarette in one hand and a bottle of beer in another. Until the very end, he hoped that this whole ordeal with kidnapping and letters from Kenny the Reaper was a result of a weird coincidence.

Unfortunately, his hope was crushed without mercy.

Kenny wasn’t at home, and what’s more, the state of their apartment frightened Levi. Kenny wasn’t as obsessed with cleanliness as him, but he had never created such messes either. At least, it had never happened during all these years they’ve lived together. Was the mess caused by the fact that Levi had left? Or was Kenny truly going crazy?

If he decided to kidnap a girl, Reiss’ daughter, and then run off to god knows where, then he was definitely not quite right in his head.

But that wasn’t the only thing occupying Levi’s mind. Ashamed as he was to admit it, Kenny wasn’t in his thoughts nearly as often as was Hange.

Their fight back at his apartment was, for the lack of better word, a complete disaster. He made a mistake, he shouldn’t have lost his cool, he shouldn’t have admitted the things Hange didn’t have to know.

For fuck’s sake, he practically admitted that he was smitten with her. Worse yet, he almost admitted just how far he was willing to go not to hurt her. It was dangerous and it was foolish. Luckily, Hange wasn’t too interested in listening to what he had to say.

And still, the things that she had said hurt him. More than Levi was ready to admit.

She really lost all trust in him, didn’t she? Perhaps, this outcome was not at all surprising, but… painful nevertheless.

Levi stole a glance at Hange - she wasn’t looking back at him. So he allowed himself to admire her profile. Her bright, brown eyes, that hawkish nose, those enticing lips… He sighed, tearing his gaze away.

Coming here was certainly a mistake, he could have hid a little better, could have tried to run from Hange for the second time. He could have done so much more, could have at least attempted to not get caught in all of this.

Too late for any regrets now, he thought bitterly. Besides, it wasn’t like he had come here for Hange, right? He had to get Kenny out of whatever shit he had involved himself into this time.

Kenny, he was there for Kenny. For him and him only.

He had to repeat this to himself a couple of times more, because with Hange sitting so close to him, with their thighs slightly touching in the backseat of the taxi, it was hard to remember his main and initial goal. With Hange so close, it was getting hard to focus at all.

He had to think of something else.

Levi looked out of the window, watched the streets they passed by. They were getting close. Close to the house of the man he murdered.

Levi gulped. Perhaps, the idea to focus on something else wasn’t as sound as it seemed at first.

Another train of thought then. He turned to look at Hange again.

He couldn’t think about her, but there was the matter of their case. He could try and pay attention to it.

“You mentioned that the girl is missing for almost a week. Why are you the only one who’s working on finding her then? Aren’t these types of cases supposed to be…” he waved his hand around, gesturing uncertainly. “Especially time-sensitive?”

Hange sighed, showing just how stressed she truly was. “They usually are time-sensitive. But… thing is… no one actually cares if I solve this case or not.”

“Do you mean—”

“Yes. Krista, or, well,” she winced, “Historia, doesn’t have a family. She doesn’t seem to have any friends either. We received the tip about her disappearance from a fucking anonymous call. No one even noticed that she is gone. I talked with the students at her college, and some seemed sympathetic, some even mildly worried about her well-being, but no one actually cared about her. No one truly knew her too, at least, no one knew her well enough. As I asked about Krista, I got the same answer. She was kind, always ready to help. She was attentive and diligent during classes. And that world ‘was’,” Hange shook her head, her palms clenching into fists. “It seemed like everyone had already accepted that she was gone for good.”

Hange sounded so sad, so frustrated, Levi desperately wished to give her what little comfort that he could. He understood now, why she was so determined to find that missing girl and bring her home.

It was good to know that people like Hange existed. People, who would do their best to try and help someone else.

Levi could be that girl, he realized. If he went missing and Kenny wasn’t there to find him, no one would care to help him. If something like that ever happened to him, he could only hope to come across a person, who would be as selfless and kind as Hange.

If there were more people like her, perhaps, his life wouldn’t be so miserable. Perhaps, he’d be a different person.

But pondering on it was pointless now. He was who was he was. For the better or worse, Hange was who she was too.

“So no one is pushing you to hurry?” Levi glanced at her beneath his fridge. “Then what was that shit about? When you ran out of my apartment, red in face and panting like a dog?”

“Oi,” Hange slapped his knee. “Fuck you.”

“Fuck me?” Levi raised his eyebrow, remembering their first conversation. “Aren’t we moving a little too fast?”

“Shut up,” she grumbled, turning her face away. Just before she did, Levi saw the red on her cheeks.

Hange blushed. Hange, the hot-shot detective and a huge pain in the ass, had actually blushed after his stupid joke.

Well… now Levi had something to be proud of.

“I just thought—” she huffed, moving hair from her face. “It doesn’t matter what I thought, but… thanks for not running away. I… appreciate it. Looking for you would be a large inconvenience,” she gave him a side-glance, her lips twitching. “Thanks for not creating even more problems for me, I guess.”

And who said that Hange wasn’t a paragon of politeness? Levi almost felt good about himself. He almost thought that things between them were… not as disastrous as they actually were.

“We are almost there,” Hange announced, nervously tapping fingers against her thigh.

The bubble busted. There was no time to fool around. There was no time for playful banter and witty back and forth. There was no time to… appreciate that bright sparkle in Hange’s eyes.

Levi nodded, acknowledging her words, but remained speechless. What was there to say? He was going to the house that belonged to a man his uncle had killed right in front of his own eyes. And he was going there willingly. God, his life was just a string of one fucked up shitty event after another.

Hopefully, this visit would help him learn more about Kenny’s new job and, maybe, even find Kenny himself.

Hope… that’s all he had these days.

The taxi took a turn and drove up to the tall, black gates. Levi remembered climbing over it during that awful night two months ago.

This time, he wasn’t climbing over it.

Hange got out of the taxi, just as they approached the front gates. She spoke through the intercom, requesting entrance. After a long moment, the gates slowly opened and the taxi drove inside, bringing them to the large doors.

Front doors. Last time Levi was getting inside through the back door. Well, another improvement. Another sign that this visit, hopefully, wouldn’t end so horribly.

Hange paid the taxi driver and told him not to wait for them. Together they exited the car.

As they walked to the door, she leaned in to him and whispered, “It’d be best if you don’t tell the grieving widow that your uncle killer her husband.”

“I’m not an idiot, four-eyes.”

Hange chuckled and lifted her arms, palms-up. “I’m just saying. I don’t think she’s eager to meet us as it is.”

When the front door had finally opened, they were met by a butler. A fucking butler, dressed in a suit and tie and with glasses on his face. Levi stared at him, incredulously.

Killing people in general went against Levi’s principles, and killing the owner of this house in particular was obviously wrong, but stealing from him? Perhaps, he and Kenny should have also taken a few paintings.

“Good day,” Hange smiled – to Levi the expression seemed a little forced. “I’m detective Zoe and I wanted to—”

“I know,” the butler bowed his head, gesturing for them to follow him. “The Lady asked me to bring you to her office.”

The Lady? It took all of Levi’s willpower not to scoff. Rich people were ridiculous. That’s why he preferred to steal from them. Served those fuckers right.

The butler led them through a big, brightly lit hall, up the majestic stairwell, through a row of ugly paintings, and finally they stood before a brown oak door.

“The Lady is inside,” the butler said, taking a step back. “I’ll bring tea in just a few minutes. Now if you’ll excuse me…”

Hange waved her hand, obviously not interested in his false politeness. She threw the door open, walking inside without waiting for the invitation. So that was detective Hange at work? Levi watched her, hiding his amused expression.

“Sorry that we didn’t give you a heads-up,” she spoke to the woman that was sitting behind a long, mahogany desk. Suddenly Levi realized it was the same room, where Kenny had killed a man. Suddenly he realized that he was staring at the face of a woman, who had lost a husband because of him and Kenny. Avoiding the widow’s gaze, he did his best to hide behind Hange. “But there’s something we wanted to discuss.”

“Did you find my husband’s killer?”

No, but I'm his nephew and I was there when your husband had died, Levi almost blurted out. But Hange had warned him. So he wisely kept his mouth shut.

“No,” Hange walked further inside, plopping down on a chair. Much more humbly, Levi did the same. “But we think your husband is related to our other case. So we were wondering if we can ask you a few questions?”

“Who are we?” the widow arched her perfectly thin eyebrow. “Last time we spoke, I didn’t remember you having an assistant.”

Hange’s smile became strained. “That’s, um, Levi,” she gestured at him. “My, well, he’s sort of my partner.”

“A partner, huh?”

“He helps me with the case,” Hange answered vaguely. “Now about our questions…”

The widow arrogantly waved her hand, allowing Hange to continue. “Just be quick about this. After my husband’s death, I have a lot of work on my hands.”

And all of it because of him and Kenny. Great. Levi sat lower in his seat.

“I remember you mentioning…” Hange took out her notebook, Levi cringed at the sight of it. As he watched her shift through it, he briefly wondered if that note he had left for her was still there. Did she tear it out, rip into pieces and then burn the rest? Or did she… leave it there, so she could stare at it whenever she felt especially angry? Levi wasn’t sure which option was more preferable and which one would make him feel more sad. Meanwhile, Hange continued, “A girl who visited your husband. Do you remember what she looked like? Can you describe her to us?”

The widow scrunched her nose, clearly displeased. She reached to the desk’s drawer, taking out a pack of cigarettes. She opened it, putting a cigarette in between her lips. “If you don’t mind,” she mumbled, flicking up a lighter. The widow took one long drag, letting the smoke curl up towards the ceiling. She lazily traced its movement, then, when the smoke had dissipated into nothing, she spoke, “I saw her only once, she was leaving our house late in the evening. It was dark and I didn’t get a good look on her face, but I remember that she was tall,” she squinted, looking at Hange. “Slightly taller than you. Had brown hair, gathered in a low ponytail. Her clothes were baggy, and, overall, she looked just like…”

“Like what?” Levi snappily required. “Like a criminal?”

“Well, yes,” the widow agreed, throwing the ash off her cigarette. “I think she was doing some shady work for my husband.”

“Do you by any chance have a way to contact her?” Hange asked. “A phone number or a home address…”

“And why do you need it?” the widow looked at them skeptically.

“Classified information,” Hange smoothly replied. “But it’s for the greater good, believe me.”

The widow huffed, obviously not buying it. But she put the cigarette down and reached for the drawer again.

“I don’t know if that will be of any help, but,” she rummaged through the drawer, taking out a yellow envelope. “I found this when I was looking through my husband’s things. He must have destroyed the letter that was inside it, but there is the sender’s address on the back, so…”

“Thank you for your time,” Hange spoke sincerely, snatching the envelope from the widow’s hands. “You really helped us. A lot. You might have even saved a young girl’s life.”

“Whatever,” the widow rolled her eyes. “Just get out of here already. I have the work I need to do.”

“Thank you,” Hange repeated, rising to her feet. “Have a nice day.”

“And…” the widow hesitated. “Good luck with your case. I hope you do better this time.”

The smile on Hange’s face faltered, but didn’t disappear. “I’ll do my best,” she promised, before walking out of the room.

Throwing a quick last glance at the widow, Levi dutifully followed.

***

The address on the envelope led them to the worst part of their city. To the streets that were filled with garbage, where the walls had paint falling off and most windows stood completely smashed.

Hange in her fancy light brown coat looked starkly out of place. Perhaps, Ackerman was right about her having too much privilege. Right now, the contrast between her and the more unfortunate ones were sharp as ever. Although, Ackerman’s attire wasn’t that humble either.

Hange stepped a little closer to him, in a futile attempt to hide from the unfriendly gazes that followed after her ever since they stepped into this part of the city.

“I’m surprised you’ve agreed to come here,” she spoke to him in a quiet voice, “Since I know how much of a clean freak you are.”

The look Ackerman gave her could probably freeze someone to death. “I wasn’t always living in a nice and neat apartment, four-eyes. People like me usually come from the places like that.”

Hange’s eyes widened at the realization. She glanced at the man beside her, tilted her head to study him more intently. It was hard to imagine sharp-dressed and clean-shaved Ackerman, or younger Levi living in a place like that, walking through the dirty streets with broken windows. He came a long way, it seemed. Hange was amazed at his perseverance.

“I think this is the right house,” she pointed at the grey four-story building. Hange took out the envelope, checked the address again. “Yes, this is it.”

Wordlessly, Ackerman started walking in that direction. Hange caught him just before he pushed the front door open.

“Shouldn’t we, like, knock?” she asked, doing a poor job at hiding her nervousness.

Ackerman just rolled his eyes. “Don’t be an idiot,” he scolded, adding a quiet ‘tch’. “There are several apartments here. You’re not trespassing on someone’s private property yet.”

“Oh, alright,” Hange mumbled, letting him open the door and following him inside.

The inside of the building… was dirty. There were bags of trash lying around, shards of broken glass and half-shattered empty bottles. The house wasn’t silent too, from somewhere deep inside the building a child’s wailing was heard. It was accompanied by the sounds of a fighting. Or, maybe, extremely passionate love-making. Hange desperately hoped it was the latter.

“We need to go to the basement,” she said to Ackerman, trying her best to sound nonchalant and confident.

“Basement?” he repeated incredulously. “Is the address actually pointing to a basement? Are we looking for a vampire?”

“I don’t know who we’re looking for. But here,” she thrusted the envelope to him. “You can check it for yourself.”

He pushed her hand away. “I’ll trust you on that one.”

They made their way down the stairs in silence. Not wanting to see something that wasn’t meant for the police officer’s eyes, Hange kept her gaze focused on Ackerman’s face. Unsurprisingly, his expression was indifferent. But his breaths were coming out more raged than usual and he was walking with his head bowed low.

Compared to his regular level of emotionlessness, Ackerman seemed almost overly distressed.

Was this place affecting him so much? He had hinted at his not so happy childhood before. Were bad memories the reason for his emotional state right now?

Hange placed a hand on his shoulder, giving it a gentle squeeze. “Ackerman, listen…”

Roughly, he slapped her hand away. “I’m fine, four-eyes. Focus on the task at hand.”

She stared at him, affronted. Here she was trying to— what was she trying to do? To comfort him? Because she was worried about him? Hange conceded. Perhaps, Ackerman had every right to scold her. She was losing her focus. She couldn’t allow herself that.

As they climbed to the end of the stairs, Hange looked around, searching for an apartment 009. It stood just at the end of the hallway, and without hesitation she marched right there.

She knocked, quite forcefully. And received no answer. She huffed, ignoring Ackerman’s amused gaze, and knocked again. Again, there was no answer.

Hange put her ear closer to the door, listening to any signs of life inside. There was… nothing.

“I think no one is at home,” she announced mournfully to Ackerman. “Perhaps, we can come back later…”

“Or we can stop wasting precious time,” he rolled his eyes. “Move your ass, four-eyes, I’ll get us inside.”

Ackerman went down on his knees before the door, searching for something in the pocket of his jacket.

It took Hange a long moment to realize what he was about to do. As soon as that realization kicked in, however, she rushed to pull Ackerman away from that door.

“What are you doing?” she cried out. “Ackerman, it’s illegal!”

He gave her a pointed look. “I’m a criminal, remember?”

“I’m not! I can’t let you break inside someone’s house, I’m a police officer!”

“And can you let a young girl suffer? My uncle is an impatient man, if she pissed him off…”

“Don’t joke about it!” Hange scolded. Fuck, she didn’t know what to do. On one hand, she couldn’t let Ackerman just break into someone’s house. On the other, she couldn’t really waste any more time.

“You can look the other way, four-eyes,” Ackerman proposed, his voice an octave softer. “I won’t tell anyone.”

Damn it, Hange couldn’t believe what she was about to do. Ackerman and his damn influence, if Erwin ever finds out…

She sighed, surrendering, and turned away from that door. “Do your thing already,” she urged. “I’ll be… on a look-out. Or whatever you people say.”

“You people?” he repeated teasingly. “What kind of people?”

Hange could practically hear the laughter in his voice. Well, at least, someone was enjoying himself.

“Criminals,” she gritted.

“Just don’t forget that it’s a nasty criminal,” he said, “That helps you solve this case.”

Gods, what a fucker. But he was right. He was helping her. For his own reasons, sure, but even so, Hange was working with him for merely a day, and already she accomplished so much. Perhaps, after all of that mess was over, she could even thank him.

If he wouldn’t give her another reason to hate him.

Ackerman dealt with the door just in mere seconds. Hange didn’t know that it was possible to break the locks so swiftly. He surely was talented.

“Wow, you really are good at it,” she marveled under her breath.

“Figures why you couldn’t catch us, eh?”

So he was not only a fucker, but a cocky one as well. Hange shouldn’t have found that trait of his attractive. He lied to her, for god’s sake. But she had to admit – he looked damn good while doing it.

Ackerman opened the door and let Hange go in first. She did, a bit precautiously.

The first thing she noticed was, of course, the absence of the light. Outside the afternoon sun was shining brightly, painting everything in warm orange colors, but here, in the basement, it was dark as ever. Distinctively, Hange could hear the sound of the pipes leaking, the steady drop, drop, drop that set her just a little further up on edge.

She blindly searched for the switch on the wall. As soon as she had found it, a lone lightbulb filled the room with faint light.

Apart from that, the interior of the apartment wasn’t so different from the interior of the whole building. It was in similar bad shape, with torn wallpapers and leaking ceilings. But, surprisingly, the apartment also seemed strangely empty, like whoever was living there didn’t actually consider it their home.

As Hange looked around, she found nothing personal there, no photographs or postcards or any other kind of trinkets people usually treasured.

There were some clothes thrown here and there, but that was about it. The rest of the apartment was disappointingly empty.

“I don’t think we’ll be able to find something here,” Ackerman said, as he walked inside beside her.

Truthfully, Hange was of the same opinion. But they came here. They broke inside. She wouldn’t leave until she finds at least something remotely useful.

“Let’s look around,” she said, deciding to start with the kitchen.

Unfortunately, there was nothing useful in the kitchen. The only thing Hange found was the insane amount of instant noodles and cheap beer.

No clues were found inside the living room as well. She looked under the dusty old couch and the rug, behind the shattered TV-screen and the wardrobe. But she found nothing.

Met with the absence of the clues and Ackerman’s increasing impatience, Hange was starting to get desperate.

“We’ll find something,” she murmured, to assure both Ackerman and herself.

He simply clicked his tongue. “I searched the bedroom already. I didn’t find anything that might be of some interest.”

“I’ll go and have another look,” Hange stubbornly pushed past him. “Perhaps, you missed something.”

“Or, perhaps,” he countered, his voice laced with venom. “This lead is a dead-end. And we’re just wasting our time.”

“Need I to remind you that this is the only lead we have? Because you’re unable to find your own uncle.”

Hange knew she had said the wrong thing as soon as the words had left her mouth. She didn’t mean it, not really. But she was frustrated. She was tired and lost, and Ackerman’s proximity and their shared history were making her even more stressed than she already was.

But all of it didn’t mean that Ackerman deserved her bitterness. Not in this moment, at least. Hange knew she was in the wrong, she wanted to take her words back, but then— then Ackerman decided to retaliate.

“And need I to remind you that the only reason I’m here is because you can’t solve this shitty case all by yourself. So stop accusing me of being useless when I’m helping you out of the kindness of my heart.”

“Out of the kindness of your heart?” Hange repeated, completely scandalized. She couldn’t believe that she was meaning to apologize to that shithead just moments ago. And he had the audacity— Gods, he infuriated her to no end. “You’re a fucking asshole, Ackerman. When you were lying to me like a total scumbag, were you doing it out of the kindness of your fucking heart as well?”

Ackerman was getting riled up to, his face became contorted with faint lines of anger. His hands clenched into fists, he took a step forward, breathing heavily. “Are you still going on about that thing, really? Yes, I lied to you, but I’m sure I’m not the only person in this life who did it. So can you just let it go already?”

“Let it go?” Hange felt like she was boiling, there was so much fury inside of her that it seemed like it was pouring out of her. She wanted to smash or break something, preferably Ackerman’s stupidly handsome face. “Are you seriously asking if I can let it go? Do you really not understand how much—” she faltered, choking on the hurricane of her emotions. “I trusted you, Levi, I believed you were a good man. For god’s sake, I was starting to develop f—”

Hange abruptly stopped herself. She was angry, true, she was overwhelmed as well. But she was not so lost as to reveal to him just what he truly made her feel. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction of knowing how good his lies were and how much they’ve hurt her.

After taking a deep breath, she risked a glance at Ackerman. He was staring right at her, wide-eyed and shocked and… was that sadness in his eyes?

Before Hange could decipher his expression, it changed again, became more cautious.

She blinked, and Ackerman was already moving, rapidly, in her direction. All out of sudden, he was standing right beside her, close enough for Hange to hear just how loudly his heart was beating.

Confused, she wanted to push him away, she meant to do it, but before she could react, Ackerman had her encircled in his arms. He pulled her to the side, and just as Hange was trying to get away, they swayed and tumbled. In a mess of limbs, both of them fell onto the ground.

No more than a second later, Hange heard a loud, sudden noise.

A noise she knew so well. A gunshot.

Confused and with her ears ringing, Hange tried to make sense of her surroundings. There was a gunshot, and she fell but she wasn’t on a ground. Ackerman was on the ground, and she was lying right on top of him. Hange stared at him, wide-eyed and shaken.

Their sudden close proximity made her thoughts move even slower.

Still in Ackerman’s embrace, she turned her head in the direction, where that gunshot had come from. A girl stood there, her gun raised and aimed at them.

How long had she been standing there? How in the world Hange hadn’t seen her enter?

The reason for her lack of caution was still beside her, holding her tightly to his chest.

It felt good to be so close to him, Hange felt so warm and safe—

“Get the fuck off me,” feeling her face burn, she pushed Ackerman away, and jumped up to her feet.

“That’s the thanks I get for saving your life,” he grumbled, standing up as well and dusting off his jacket. “And I did it for the second time, four-eyes.”

“Shut up,” Hange gritted, returning her attention to the girl who almost shot them both. She was tall and brown-haired. Could it be their mysterious lead?

“I’m terribly sorry to interrupt… whatever that was,” for a second the girl’s lips curled in a wicked smirk, but then she gripped the gun in her hands tighter, her finger going to the trigger. “But who the fuck are you and what are you doing in my house?”

Still slightly shaking from the whole ordeal, Hange’s fingers trembled as she took out her police badge, showing it to the girl. “I’m detective Hange Zoe, and I came to ask you some questions.”

The hand that held the gun didn’t lower. “Regarding?” the girl asked.

“Regarding Krista Lenz’s disappearance.”

The girl relaxed. The gun was tucked safely inside her leather jacket. “So the police have finally taken notice of that case? Took you long enough.”

“I’m hoping to rectify that mistake. And I hope I’ll be able to bring Krista home. What is your name?” Hange smiled and tentatively offered her hand for the girl to shake.

“Ymir,” just as cautiously, she shook Hange’s hand. “And Krista isn’t her real name, you know?”

“She is Historia, right?” the smile on Hange’s face widened, as she saw Ymir’s genuine surprise. “We found that bit of information already.”

“Seems like you’re a real deal then,” Ymir concluded with a nod. “I’ll share what I know with you. But,” she raised a finger. “I have a condition – you’ll let me join the investigation.”

Their crew was rapidly growing, and two-thirds were presented by criminals, Hange thought grimly. Well, she was ready to do anything to bring Historia home. It seemed like she would have to stick to her own promise.

Just when Hange was ready to accept Ymir and her proposition, Ackerman took a step forwards. His eyes were narrowed to slits as he glared at their new companion.

“And what guarantee we have that we can trust you?”

“You have no guarantee,” Ymir replied, staring down at him. “But as long as our goals align and as long as you promise not to hurt Historia, I promise not to betray you.”

Ah, so their crew was rapidly growing and they couldn’t really trust each other. A recipe for a horrible disaster, but… Hange had no other options.

She clasped Ymir’s shoulder, giving her the most convincing of her smiles. “Welcome aboard then. What have you managed to find out?”

Ymir grinned and turned around, gesturing for them to follow. “Probably much more than you did. Come with me, I’ll show it to you.”

[frobin]

Random consideration: there is an online legend about Oda can change story events if someone on the web/fans guess the thing. So... what do you think about this topic? It can be really valid? If yes, even for whatever eventual not-canon ships? I don't know, because ships are just a very side element in the story, and not like main events of the storyline. (And for my opinion, for Jin:be father topic, I could agree with who said is for the age, maybe. Anyway, I will ship FroBin forever).

Hey anon! Thank you for your question!

Maybe Oda really made Jinbe the dad because of age. right now Oda and Jinbe have the same age (46). He has two children who are (if the internet and my math are correct) 15 and 12 years old. So may it’s not unlikely? If he connects with Jinbe he would rather see him as a dad than a grandparent or a weird uncle. 

-

Now, to the rest... I have to say sorry for answering so late but as of right now I’m writing parts of my answer and I literally pulling my hair because I really try to make sense of the whole situation and trying to understand the intention of a 46 year old japanese man. And this is long again so sorry about that. Anyway... 

I have heard about that. I remembered something about Oda not reading Fan Theories and now I googled once more. Apparently this is the newest Information:

"Oda once said he will change OP story if it coincides with fan theories. But according to TV show today, Oda will never change his plan about "final chapter" even if a fan theory hits the nail on the head. Oda said in 1999 that he had already decided final panel and chapter."

https://twitter.com/sandman_AP/status/1352851201478418432?s=20

I don’t think Oda is actively browsing the web for OP content ( how would he have time to) but he gets fanmail with questions and suggestions. And considering that over 4 million people are One Piece fans... one of them has to get it correct eventually. Trying to avoid any similarity with any fan-theory is IMPOSSIBLE. 

And I do believe that Oda knows how he wants One Piece to end and won’t change that, no matter what. 

As for the details in-between........ I wouldn’t say Oda is not prone to be a Troll and sometimes downright an ass towards his fans. XD Never out of malice but because he thinks it’s funny. 

I’m also sure he will never focus on romance in the manga, but since love is an important part of life it will come into play now and then. Classic romance (?) more with side-characters  (Roger/Rouge, Sai/Baby5, Bege/Chiffon) than with main (Strawhats) but still possible.

He may very well edit less-important plot lines if they don't change the ending. 

That also includes, that I absolutely think it’s possible that the Strawhats will have romantic involvement at the end of the story. At the moment it is never in the focus, except for plot reason (Whole Cake Island for example, though that is an entirely different topic) but absolutely possible. 

Because the Strawhats boning each other or maybe someone outside of the crew will not change the story. It has no influence to anything, except if it’s on a higher scale, like if Luffy really suddenly married Boa Hancock. That would influence the political outline of the world.

Meanwhile Pauli/Iceburg or Noland/Cagara or Bartolomeo/Cavendish have literally no influence to the story (anymore). And I don’t think I have to start on things like other rare pairs or even OC-ships. 

That being said, and having more stuff in mind, I wouldn’t put it past Oda to actually focus more on Jin/Bin. 

Why? Well... 

we had so many interactions between Robin and Franky after the time skip that it was almost ridiculous. In every single arc we see them fight alongside each other. We had strong romantic tropes portrayed with them: 

Their meeting after the timeskip (Sabaody Archipelago)

Franky having his head in Robins lap (Punk Hazard) 

Wearing the same shirt (Dressrosa) 

Finishing each others sentence (Zou)

Franky offering Robin a ride and her answering with a heart (Wano)  

And the moment the internet exploded when Robin was holding Frankys face. Which yeah, only a Colorspread and not canon yadda yadda

For now let’s gloss over all the other moments that showed that they cared for each other. 

... so many.

Anyway what I want to say is that Oda had declared “All the Strawhats are in love with adventure.” and “I won’t focus on romance.”  but is seemingly showing a connection between Franky and Robin, that made one think that he might actually be aboard the ship even if the fandom itself is rather silent and small. 

Meanwhile when Jinbe appeared (in the timeskip) he was instantly a hit. His popularity then rose thanks to Fishmen Island Arc. And again I can’t blame anyone. On the other hand Franky always had a hard stance. This was recently shown again because is the lowest ranked Strawhat in the popularity poll. 

One (Oda) might come to a conclusion here:

Maybe people don’t like Franky and so would dislike FRobin. But since Oda also seems to enjoy grown up relationships (?) maybe he thinks Jinbe is the only reasonable replacement?  -> It could be a tactial decision. 

Maybe he really changed his opinion and personally likes one more than the other. He was a FRobin supporter but now likes JinBin more? It wouldn't change anything for the story and there wouldn't be any harm -> It could be a personal decision. 

Maybe he fears that he put too many hints in the manga and now has to paddle back? Because let’s be honest, until the colourspread with Robin putting her hand on Frankys face... the FRobin fandom was on the backburner. And so he wants to throw out some Red Herrings.  -> Again a tactial decision

Maybe he never inteded to make it  romantic and it is actually all just friendship. Subtext is something many authors use without being aware of it. (Just ask anyone who is a lesbian!Nami fan. They have good points.) -> A mistake from the very beginning. 

And you can use these same thoughts for every other non-canon ship. 

Please take everything of this with a grain of salt because I try to understand the intention of a man who is more than 10 years my senior and from a culture I can’t even start to try to comprehend (sometimes I don’t even get my own culture), who is the head figure of a money-making machine. So it’s hard to tell what else influences his decisions. 

My interpretations are influenced by my own experiences and knowledge which is big and vast but also stretched very thin. 

Last but not least I want to make clear that any speculation is really the same as asking a crystal ball. In the western fandom we have only few people who can even slightly try to give an insight to the whole thing and they (smart enough) keep out of any shipping discourse. 

tl;dr: I don’t think Oda will change the ending. But I do think that he is willing to change minor plotlines  and so yes I think Oda might change couples for any possible reason, as long as it does not change the ending, and he does not even has to choose a good reason because in the end they are his characters and he is free to do whatever he wants with them.

[cacoetheswriting]

champagne problems, ch.10

Spencer is in love with you, but you’re engaged to someone else.

Chapter Ten: Feels Like We Only Go Backwards: A choice is made. A/N: chapter is titled after this song if you want to listen while reading. Word Count: 2.4k Warnings: swearing, heartbreak, unrequited / unreciprocated love, jealousy, talk of breakup/s, serious serious angst, disclaimer [& spoiler warning], this chapter is not a happy one. this whole series is a real slow burn.

series masterlist

A/N: as always, thank you for all the love you’re giving this story. we have about six chapters left to the end and words cannot describe how grateful i am to you for sticking with me and my rambling writing. ENJOY !

-

A significant weight was lifted off Spencer’s shoulders the second he told you how he truly felt about you. Actually, it was more the second you said you loved him back.

Even though the two of you distanced yourselves from one another, giving you the space to really think about your future and who you wanted to spend it with, the week that followed the admissions was considerably good.

Yes, the brunette doctor continued to feel uneasy about the situation he put you in. Uneasy about the choice you eventually would have to make. However, as days went by he noticed it didn't seem to bother you. No. You were oddly chirpy and cheerful. Spencer couldn't help but feel like it was because of him.

Like your choice was already made, and that choice was him.

“Do you have plans tonight?” You asked in a hushed tone, slyly glancing around the bullpen to ensure no-one else was paying attention to you and the doctor.

Spencer shook his head. “Not entirely, no.”

Your lips curled into a smile at his response. “So you wouldn’t mind if I came over?” You asked, gently tapping your fingers in a walking motion against his desk. They stopped next to his hand - you could feel it was there, yet you didn't move your fingers further in fear of someone seeing. “There’s something I want to talk to you about.”

Spencer mouth twitched into a pleasant smirk. He should have been nervous, what if you were going to break the news you were choosing Ethan? He should have been anxious, the thought of losing you all over again, he couldn't imagine how awful that would feel. Yet he didn't feel any of those things.

Judging by your relaxed body language. Your hand just aching to touch his. The way your eyes glistened looking at him. Your elated tone as you spoke. It didn't take a genius, a profiler, or even someone that knew you as well as him, to say these were all indicators whatever you wanted to talk to him about was happy.

“Of course.” He cleared his throat. “What time do you think-”

“I’ll let you know, okay? I know you like to switch off for the weekend so keep your phone on you for me.” You traced a finger against his knuckle and with one last smile, ambled elegantly towards the exit.

Yes - Spencer deducted - whatever you wanted to tell him was going to be good news.

A knock on the door grabbed Spencer’s attention. He quickly examined the place one last time, to ensure everything was clean and, well, perfect for you.

Satisfied, he eagerly crossed his living room and without thinking twice, expecting to see you on the other side of the door, he opened it.

“Hey Spencer.”

But it wasn’t you. It was the last person he ever expected to see.

“E-Ethan, what ehm, what are you doing here?” Spencer asked.

Ethan smirked at the question, slowly sliding his hands into the pockets of his coat. “We need to talk, don’t you think?”

Spencer swallowed, but before he got a chance to reply the surgeon continued. “Actually, I’ll talk and you can listen. Also don’t bother inviting me inside because I’ll keep this brief and to the point.”

Your fiancé cleared his throat. “Imagine my surprise when I found out my wife-to-be still has feelings for her ex boyfriend. Did you know she is actually on her way here to tell you she’s choosing you? Yeah... Now, she doesn't know that I know. Her plan is to inform me tomorrow, after my shift at the hospital, that the wedding is no longer happening and our relationship is over.” He paused, almost as if he was daring Spencer to interrupt him at any moment and defend your honour.

Which in hindsight is something Spencer should have done.

“So here’s how this is going to do, doctor.” He slurred. “When she comes here, you're going to turn her down. You've broken her heart once before, I’m pretty sure you know how to do it again.”

Spencer stepped forward and opened his mouth to protest, but the surgeon impolitely cut him off. “Look, you’re a smart guy. Some sort of genius, right? I think deep down you know Y/N is better off with me. I can provide for her in ways you can't even comprehend. I am going to give her a life you can only dream of Spencer.”

“I think you’re forgetting it’s not all about the money.” Spencer stated coldly. His eyes narrowing. Jaw clenching.

Ethan chuckled callously. “Of course not. But I think you need to consider how much disposable income can improve life. I have the ability to ensure we buy our dream home. I have the ability to invest in a second home for her father, and move him somewhere closer to us. With me, Y/N will be able to quit her job and no longer risk her life on a daily basis. She will be able to spend time with our future kids, in a beautiful home, completely care free.”

He let out a deep sigh. “Did she even tell you she’s been thinking about transferring out of the BAU? She doesn't want to be a profiler anymore. Fuck man, she doesn't even know if she wants to be a SSA anymore. The only reason she’s sticking around is you.”

The statement caught Spencer completely off guard. Ethan had to be bluffing, right? He would say anything to ensure you stayed with him, right?

“You’re lying.” Spencer grumbled through his teeth.

Ethan smirked in response. “I’m really not though. Ask anyone. Her dad, it was actually he who suggested it in the first place. Or your friend Penelope, she seems to think it’s a good idea.”

Spencer’s world was crumbling down around him and he was helpless to stop it. Why didn't you tell him this was on your mind? Why did you keep this a secret? And how did he not see any inclination of this before?

“Like I said, you’re a smart guy Spencer.” Ethan stated. “I think you know what the right thing to do is.” And with that, he walked away leaving the brunette agent alone with his thoughts.

Slowly, Spencer closed the door. He turned on his heel and leaned against it while letting out a long winded breath, one he didn't even realise he was holding.

He never wanted to stand in the way of your plans. He didn't want to be the one holding you back from anything. Was his ever growing love for you clouding his judgement?

He closed his eyes, resting against the door behind him. The guilt he was now feeling riddled him from head to toe. And mixed with the guilt was a faint feeling of anger. Anger directed at the man that dared to get between your relationship with the brunette agent.

Ethan, a name of Hebrew origin that means firm, enduring and strong. A good name for good people.

Spencer knew off many Ethan’s in his lifetime. His college friend, an old colleagues son - all people that definitely lived up to the meaning. Yet your fiancé was anything but.

This Ethan was arrogant, rude, possessive. In Spencer’s mind, this Ethan was quite literally the physical embodiment of the curse word dick.

He never truly understood what you saw in the guy. He always thought you could do a lot better. Even if it wasn’t Spencer himself, there are men out there a lot kinder than Ethan.

And yet, despite all of the resentment he felt towards the man, Spencer couldn't help but feel like there was some truth to what he had said. The hazel-eyed man started doubting himself. Doubting whether he really had your best intention at heart, or whether his own selfishness was preventing him from making sure you’re living your best life.

This was supposed to be a happy day. A happy evening. 

It certainly started out that way. You were on your way here to tell him you were choosing him. You were choosing to spend the rest of your life with him.

Spencer felt sick to his stomach. Dizzy. He was sure if he opened his eyes even just for a second he would collapse. He also knew the only rational thing, the right thing to do will only make him feel worse.

The brunette agent wasn’t entirely sure how long he stood frozen like that. His breathing shallow. Heart sinking, heavy.

A knock on the door behind his back caused him to slowly open his eyes, yet he didn't move an inch. He simply couldn't. He couldn't bare to face you. He couldn't bare to look you in the eye and break your heart for a second time.

Instead, he chose the childish way out. He hoped if he was still enough, quiet enough, you would think he wasn’t home and leave. It is a conversation that cannot be avoided, but it would be a conversation for another day.

You knocked again, using a little more strength this time.

Spencer held his breath. Tears began to form in his eyes. Salty droplets that if he let escape, he knew they wouldn't stop falling.

He heard faint shuffling outside and for a split second he thought you gave up and walked away. For a split second he thought he bought himself more time. More time with the fantasy that the two of you would get your happy ending together. Foolish, he thought.

It was in that moment the mobile device in the back pocket off his pants started to buzz, vibrating against the door. The phone you asked he kept close to him earlier that day. The sound of the ringtone followed soon after completely giving away Spencer’s current location.

“Spencer?” The sweet sound of your voice coming through the wooden barrier between you caused the tears he was fighting to slowly trail down his face. The device stopped ringing. “I know you’re in there. Can you let me in?” You said, so blissfully unaware of what was about to happen.

Spencer turned around and pressed his forehead against the painted wood. His hand travelled to the door knob, yet he still didn't move any further. “I-I... I c-can’t...” He managed to blurt out.

“What do you mean you can’t?” He heard you ask, the hint of confusion in your tone aching his heart further. “Spencer, what’s going on?”

The brunette doctor licked his lips and swallowed, tasting the saltiness of his own tears. “Y-you should go Y/N.” He uttered.

“Go? Spencer, you’re not making any sense.” You responded, the door knob rattling under Spencer’s fingers. “Please let me in. I’m not going to say what I want to say through a door.”

“Don’t s-say it at all. You should be with E-Ethan. Your future will be brighter with him.”

Silence. Unbearably heartbreaking silence.

At first you thought your ears were playing tricks on you. There was no way he just said that, right? A week after he told you he loved you. A week after he said he'll always wait for you. A week after he proposed. There was no way he changed his mind.

And then you thought of his time in prison. More specifically the day you went to visit him for the last time. The day you wanted to propose. The day he broke your heart.

He used those exact words - “Your future will be brighter without me.”

Slowly, you placed the palm of your hand on the door between you and took in a deep breath. Your eyes glossed over as the confusion rushing through you evolved into sadness.

Spencer could pinpoint the exact moment the air changed around him. It was suddenly tense. Broken. He felt like a coward. Even if he had your best interest at heart, he should still be able to face you and explain his side in person. Tell you that Ethan came by. Tell you everything that was said. Ask about your plans to leave the BAU. Ask whether he really was the only reason you haven't resigned yet. But he couldn't formulate the words. He simply gave up. A coward.

“Spencer, I-I don’t understand...” You sobbed. “I-I thought-t you loved me.”

“I love you more than anything in this world Y/N.” He quickly replied, the palm of his hand now pressed against the wood. Unbeknown to him, against the exact same spot on the opposite side of the barrier was your hand. So close yet so far.

“Then let me in. Please. I-I came here to say I choose you. I want to be with you Spencer. Please... Please let me in.” You cried through the door. Spencer could hear the pain behind your words, the sorrow. It really took all the strength he had not to let you in.

“I’m sorry Y/N.”

Your hands trembling uncontrollably against the barrier between you and the man of your dreams.

His sudden change of heart left you completely speechless. His words like tiny daggers stabbing directly into your bleeding heart. How did this happen? What changed between now and this morning? What changed between now and last week? You had so many questions. Ones that you feared would remain unanswered.

Additionally, your gut was telling you there was more to this than he was letting on. That it wasn’t as simple as ‘Ethan is the better man for you’ because you knew Spencer didn't believe that. But you couldn't find the strength within to argue with him.

“If-f that’s w-what you want Spencer, I’ll leave-e.”

It was the last thing he heard before the sound of your footsteps ushering away.  

After a minute, the hazel-eyed agent moved to the couch and sunk into the material. Every fibre of his being was currently aching. He hoped he did the right thing, although the voice at the back of his mind said no. What else was he supposed to do? He knew Ethan wouldn't just give up. Was Spencer prepared to fight for you? If tonight was any inclination the answer would also be no.

Spencer’s gaze locked onto the small box in the middle of his coffee table.

It was a considerably good week, and it was supposed to end a hell of a lot better than this.

Every part of me says, "Go ahead" But I got my hopes up again, oh no, not again

-

A/N: i hope you liked this chapter! and i am so so sorry for giving y’all false hope with the last one! i promise these there are happy times ahead for these two just not quite yet... as always i’d love to hear your feedback! if you would like to be added to a taglist, please let me know. thank you for your continuous support. with love, mal. x

masterlist | series masterlist | series playlist

story taglist: @girloncorneliastreet, @haylaansmi, @rexorangecouny, @l0ve-0f-my-life, @obsssedwithjustaboutanything, @aperrywilliams, @sassy-hades, @rainsong01, @reverdevivre, @dracomikaelson, @softieekayy, @lunaofcrows, @andrewhoezierbyrne​, @blameitonthenight21, @lyl-26, @do-yr-research, @nazifa94, @stepsofthefbi, @chatterbug2-0

spencer reid taglist: @no-honey-no, @calm-and-doctor, @idroppedmygourd, @averyhotchner, @wowitsel, @elldell1204, @hey-there-angels, @reidabookforonce, @ellesgreenaway​

[meimae]

Look at me, not being on time for my April Immersion Overview as is the usual. (・w・;

First, little blog updates to get out of the way:

I reached 100 followers! Got an influx of people checking out my 1 year update post, and got plenty of nice compliments on my data collection.

For those of you wondering just why I keep up with so much data, it's mostly because it can get really hard to notice how much you're improving in a language especially with something like immersion learning that for people who don't get it feels like a waste of time or a time sink.

Graphs showing consistency, improvement in reading speed, increasing vocabulary counts, and generally just seeing numbers grow turns language learning more fun and motivating for me, and if as a bonus, it encourages someone to try immersion learning then that would be cool!

With that said, whether you're here as a fellow language learner, graphs enthusiast (笑), or just want some Japanese media recommendations, ようこそ! 

Also, made a tiny DP change - it’s チト from 少女週末旅行. Pretty sure it’s the first manga series I ever finished in Japanese (not the first one I started since ちはやふる is still ongoing), and I always felt a bit of a ☆connection☆ with  her - between her book-loving personality and being a no-nonsense kind of person, there was no way for me not to enjoy her character. Great beginner anime/manga if you’re not into most beginner recommendations.

-☆-

April has been a pretty good immersion month, as I was able to dip my toes in a variety of media. A bit competitive, too! The club I joined has been pulling all the stops to get to the Top 20 Immersion Leaderboard in it’s first month. I was able to snag the 9th spot among a bunch of people of different comprehension levels (the majority being N1+ since they’re able to comprehend much more and in turn stand longer immersion hours). Lots of tiny complaints though of potential “whitenoising” content (”listening” and “reading” but not comprehending very well just to get a large number to post), but really what can you do? People lie all the time on the internet. Besides, it’s internet points that doesn’t do anything beyond being a little shiny I guess.

Enough about that, let’s get into the nitty-gritty details you came here for!

ANIME

フルーツバスケット

Might need to rewatch this one. Felt like I didn’t connect with the characters the way the rest of its fandom has. I’m kinda sad about it, since I normally love Slice of Life and Fantasy, and I know this is one of my friend’s diehard shows.

ラブライブ! School Idol Project S2

A filler anime to watch tbh. Nice and easy enough to follow for beginners. Pretty good songs. With regards to it being a show about music and moe, I still 100% prefer K-On! if I’m going to be honest, but for a show about non-toxic idols, it’s good!

魔法少女まどか☆マギカ

First read this as English translated manga when I was 13 or something. Mistakes were made. Let’s all just agree to throw キュウベえ into a pit of fire and never talk about it again. Great ending and a show that really reworked the magical girl genre. But seriously, I was traumatized by マミ’s death then and now, help.

四月は君の嘘

Already knew what was going to happen even before watching this so I didn’t ugly cry like I was expecting. Still got that awful sinking feeling though. 10/10 would recommend for a good cry. Also, I’m planning to read the manga, might enjoy that more, because I’ve always liked it more than anime actually. *shocked pikachu face*

ホリミヤ

Watched before I even finished the manga which felt like a mistake at first until I realized that it perfectly stops where I stopped reading. Nice and comfy anime, the kind I would have loved as a teen. Fun animation too, making parts very dramatic even though it wasn’t really that deep of an issue even in the manga. Just teens feeling feelings. Still salty that we lose bad boy styled 宮村, but I get why it had to happen.

AUDIOBOOKS

氷菓

Second re-listen. I understand it fine, but it’s very easy to drift off when you can’t catch all the words so I had to replay often. Will have to mine more from the anime/book.

君の名は

I mined from the anime, and was really pleased to be able to follow all 6 hours of this audiobook perfectly fine. Will need to read the book, because I realized just how seamless reading it would be after listening to it with hardly any issue.

BOOKS

キッチェン

Completed! Read my thoughts about it and see my stats on this post.

君の膵臓を食べたい

Still trudging on with this one. It’s not a bad story, it’s pretty well written actually, I just made the mistake of watching both the anime and live adaptation first, so I know exactly what’s going to happen and it’s killing my motivation to keep reading. I guess reading the book first before watching the movie still applies in any language with me. Really need to 頑張れ and finish so I can move on. 

三日間の幸福

Started reading towards the end of the month, mostly because I realized that every chapter is only 5000-15000 characters long, and I was able to read up to 40k in a day with Island most days. Only two chapters read so far though because I got distracted by manga, but it’s shaping up to be a really good plot and potentially a really sad one, too, so I’m interested.

DRAMA

花ざかりの君たちへ イケメンパラダイス

Heard this was a classic so I gave it a try. Loved 生田 斗真’s character in this one the most especially all his internal dialogue acted out. Also, 小栗 旬 in anything is bound to be a good watch. Simple and fun watch. They dragged the ending so much though lmao 

ごくせん

Look, I see 松本 潤, I click. Definitely the kind of show you should watch for some great life advice. Planning to watch the 2nd and 3rd seasons even if there is a terrible lack of 松本 潤, because I love my strong female protagonists, and man, ヤンクミ is such a great character. Need to read the manga, too, if I can find it.

極主夫道

Oof, this was kind of hard. The yakuza talk was throwing me off, but the rest of it was enjoyable. Not really plot heavy as I thought it was going to be. The comedy side of it was fun and predictable after the first few episodes. Overall, pretty good slice of life, family story with a twist.

MANGA

Read a bunch of manga this month, mostly because I am struggling to find the next vn to read.

おやすみプンプン

Read a couple of volumes (6-7). This manga is so good, but it’s so depressing I need to stop to take a breather every once in a while. Please don’t leave any spoilers. The club has been reacting to me reading this, and it has mostly been a lot of crying emotes. It’s both been enjoyable to see and really worrying. 笑

チェンソーマン

Club recommendation. Only read the 1st volume so far. I really need to get into more 少年 anime/manga. That’s currently my 苦手 genre which is awful because literally all the top anime/manga is 少年 help. I just can’t enjoy it much still even though it’s comprehensible to me.

ちはやふる 中学生編

Read Vol. 1, chill read to me at this point after reading 45 volumes of the regular manga. Look, it’s my favorite 幼馴染 manga in baby format, of course I’m going to read this! 太一 has been a flake way before season 3 confirmed. Don’t come at me たいちはや stans bc I also like his character.

約束のネバーランド

Volume 7. I’m taking my sweet time with this one, because I heard the anime for season 2 sucked, so I’m avoiding it like the plague. This is 少年 how am I enjoying this and not everything else what.

ヲタクに恋は難しい

Enjoyed the anime hated the movie why did they make it a musical that sucked (ps i normally love musicals hated this one) 

The オタク jargon is kinda hard to read suprisingly but I do enjoy this ship very much. It’s a lighthearted take to otaku culture which is great because seriously it’s scary out there.

ツバサ -RESERVoir CHRoNiCLE-

It’s my childhood ship, obviously I will read this again (read in English several years ago). Still as plot twisty as I remember it being (now at a bonus hard level reading it in Japanese 笑). Really enjoyed reading this one (I finished it this May).

-☆-

I’m starting to really dislike furigana in manga. It was a great help as a beginner, but now it’s like training wheels that you can’t take off. I feel like the gains I’m getting from manga is much lower than it was when I first started which makes me both proud of how far I’ve come, but also sad because I love manga. Sad that I might have to start choose VNs over it, because it’s not going to challenge me as much going forward. I mean it didn’t stop me from reading a lot of it this month, but you get the picture.

VISUAL NOVELS

ISLAND

Completed! See my stats and read my long spoiler filled post here.

ファタモルガーナの館

Picked up this VN and finished two doors (15 hours) before stopping. On the fence about it, because it has been kind of predictable so far, and I don’t particularly enjoy the horror genre. That said, this is more psychological than anything, so it’s probably not that that’s putting me off. The language is not exactly difficult, too - maybe some oddly specific words because it is after all historical fiction (which is one of my favorite genres, btw), and 敬語 is definitely interesting to read for once after encountering so many お嬢様 characters in anime/drama so far. 

I think maybe it’s the conversations that are kind of dull - dots (silence) every few clicks that keeps breaking the flow of reading. Probably judging it really harshly too early, because it’s rated so high everywhere, and I just have high expectations. Definitely not dropping it yet though, just taking a break and testing a couple of other VNs before I settle with whatever I end up choosing. It is, after all, going to be another 50+ hour read, and I just don’t want to not enjoy the process, because having fun with the process is a huge part of immersion learning.

Let me know if you’ve read Fata and if I should continue! 

-☆-

That’s it for this month!

If you have any suggestions on what to watch and read next, please send me a reply, especially for VNs because I’m struggling over here.

[teenwolffanclub-me]

Season 1, Episode 11: Formality

Hey there beautiful reader! If you’re new here, this is a series I’m writing where each chapter is an episode from the first season of Teen Wolf. If you’ve been here before, hey! I missed you! Previous and future chapters are linked at the end of each part if you want to catch up.

Pairing: Stiles x Psychic! Reader (FINALLY!)

Warnings: angsty angst angst

Notes: Does anyone still like this series? The last part kinda flopped 🤨

Anyway, I’m back and super excited bc my babies are FINALLY official and they only had to almost die like three times to do it!

P.S. Lydia has terrible taste in men, Y/N still sucks at being a psychic, and the high school desperately needs more security

                                                  ————————

Have you ever had a day go so unbelievably sideways that you honestly can’t even comprehend how fucked up it is?

Yeah, welcome to my Friday.

“This is the worst! My life is literally over.”

I huffed in annoyance, my jaw dropping at the pure absurdity of that statement. “Scott, Peter tried kidnapping you this morning and you’re worried about a dance?”

He frowned from beside me, his shoulders sagging. Last night, Deaton tried making Stiles and I leave the clinic once he was all patched up, but we both refused. I still wasn’t completely convinced that he was alive until he woke up with a start this morning.

It didn’t take long for Peter to show up, demanding that we hand him over. Actually, I can’t really say we because the three of us hid in the back while Deaton somehow took care of it.

Derek was still hanging out in the Argent’s basement, probably being tortured by Kate but most likely dead by now. I tried talking to Allison when I got to school this morning, but she practically ran away from me when I brought it up. I had no idea how much she knew at this point, and it was freaking me out.

And, to top it all off, Scott was flunking so many classes that coach banned him from the dance tonight.

Clearly, that was the most pressing issue.

He was so desperate afterward that he asked Jackson to watch over Allison, since he is her date. He apparently refused because it’s Jackson, so Scott had been losing his mind with worry all day. He was convinced that Peter would be after her next, but I wasn’t so sure.

She wasn’t an obvious choice. I mean, her family is literally just a bunch of professional werewolf hunters. Adding her to his pack wouldn’t make much sense.

“I just—I can’t sit by and watch him try to kill everyone I love.” Scott forced a hand through his hair with a heavy sigh.

My steps faltered and I peered over at him, my eyebrows raised in surprise. “You love her?”

“Oh,” His eyes widened as he realized what he said. “Yeah. I do. Holy shit. I love her.”

I watched as his lips slowly pulled into a grin, relieved that he wasn’t freaking out for a moment. It’d been pretty obvious for awhile that they loved each other, and I was honestly shocked it had taken him this long to acknowledge it, but happy for him nonetheless.

“That’s it. I’m going tonight.” His face hardened with determination before he turned on his heel and walked away briskly.

“Okay. Bye to you too!” I chuckled, curious to see how he’d manage to sneak in.

I only made it a few steps before someone rammed into my side forcefully. A pair of hands gripped my arms to steady me as I nearly toppled over. My eyes narrowed as they landed on Stiles’ sheepish expression.

“Hey. Sorry.” He let me go quickly and scratched at the back of his head. “Where have you been?”

“Class..?” I drawled slowly, my eyes trailing over his twitchy frame slowly. He seemed more wired than normal, which was saying a lot. 

His chest was heaving as if he’d just run a mile—which I’d recently learned he was surprisingly incapable of—and his eyes were shining with barely contained anxiety.

“I just...uh—I have a, I’ve been trying to...will you go to formal with me?” He rushed the words out so quickly, it took me a second to process them.

I just stared at him, waiting a moment to see if he was going to follow that up with anything else. “You mean the one that’s tonight? Are you serious?”

His honey eyes widened, as if he wasn’t expecting that response. I mean, what else was I supposed to say? I’d been waiting for him to ask me for almost two weeks now, and he waits until the day of? Who does that?

“Uh,” He glanced away from me quickly, his cheeks turning pink under the fluorescent lights. “Not if you’re going to say no.”

I just rolled my eyes, ignoring the way my heart began fluttering at the thought of going with him. I took a step forward so that there were only a few inches separating us and leaned up to place a gentle kiss on his cheek.

“It’s a date.” I patted his chest before walking away, an amused smirk pulling at my lips at his stunned expression.

                                                      ————————

I let my fingers trail over the frilly materials hanging in front of me as I took in my options. I was failing miserably at finding something decent to wear tonight. I wasn’t used to dressing up or being overly girly, so I had no idea where to start. I’d really just been standing here for the last several minutes, overwhelmed by all the colors and textures.

Allison was standing to my left, inspecting a few dresses in a full length mirror. Lydia was long gone somewhere behind me with a mountain of cloth in her arms. I picked up a knee-length blue dress and decided it wouldn’t hurt to try it on.

I saw someone approaching Allison out of my corner of my eye and glanced her way fleetingly, but froze as my gaze locked with Peter’s. I looked around, not fully believing that he was here, before jerking my attention back to him. He gave me a slow, amused smirk before shifting his eyes toward her. My head whipped back to the dresses in front of me, my entire body going rigid as I tried not to alarm her.

Maybe Scott had been right this afternoon. But would he really try to turn her now? In the middle of the mall?

“That’s not your color.” I heard him murmur, and stole another look their way. I didn’t want Allison to catch on that I knew him, or that anything was wrong. Very, very wrong. 

Allison shifted her weight, looking uncomfortable as he stared at her intensely. “Sorry if that was intrusive but, considering your skin tone, I’d go lighter.”

“Because I’m pale?” She asked quietly, somehow not questioning the fashion advice from a strange man.

“Fair.” He corrected, his head tilting as he tried to look well-meaning. “I mean, you can’t call skin like yours pale. Not skin that perfect...”

“Okay.” She laughed awkwardly and put the dress she was considering back on the rack beside her.

“Trust me, I have a...unique perspective on the subject.” She nodded and turned to walk away with a tight smile, obviously weirded out, but he stepped to the side so she couldn’t get away. My skin crawled at the predatory gleam in his eyes as he practically sized her up.

She watched nervously as he grabbed a new dress from the rack behind him and took her hand in his. She reeled back instantly at the unwelcome touch, but that didn’t stop him from bringing her skin up beside the material for comparison. “See? Much better.”

I’d heard enough. I took the few steps needed to close the distance between us, my heart racing in my chest. I wasn’t convinced that he was stupid enough to try anything wolfy in public, but I wasn’t about to take any chances, either. I stopped at her side and grabbed her wrist gently. Her wide eyes jerked toward me, swimming with relief. 

“Hey, Lydia needs help in the dressing room.” I rushed the lie out quickly, barely registering that she nodded in understanding before pulling her away.

I didn’t even spare another glance at Peter as I weaved through the narrow isles briskly, not stopping until I found Lydia clear on the other end of the store. She actually was by the dressing rooms, posing to herself in a full length mirror. I staggered to a halt at the sight of the champagne dress she had on. It was somehow...familiar?

“That was so creepy.” Allison muttered quietly as she shook my hand off and plopped down onto one of the plush chairs beside the mirrors.

I walked right up to Lydia, unable to stop myself as I continued inspecting her dress. She watched me for a moment and raised her eyebrows expectantly when my gaze rose to meet hers. My face pinched in confusion. There was a persistent nagging at the back of my mind as I looked at her, like there was something I should be picking up on. But I just couldn’t place it.

“I think that’s the one.” I jumped as Allison suddenly spoke up from behind us. I cleared my throat and took a step away from Lydia, realizing how weird I was being.

She turned away from me with one last questioning glance before giving herself a satisfied smile in the mirror, her hands smoothing down the silky material before resting on her hips.

“Me too.” She spun around excitedly and disappeared behind one of the dressing room curtains.

I couldn’t explain it, but I suddenly felt my stomach twist as a dark cloud of dread washed over me.

                                                    ————————

I looked over Stiles’ shoulder, the hardwood floors beneath my feet vibrating as loud music rang throughout the space. We were slow dancing for the second time tonight, my arms locked around his neck and my head resting against his chest. It was really nice, being this close to him. It helped lower the base level of anxiety I’d been fighting all day.

It’d been nearly an hour since I last saw any of our friends. We all met up with our respective dates at the start of the dance, Lydia having brought a random lacrosse player since Jackson was with Allison. Just then, my eyes found them dancing stiffly a few couples away, but the sight did little to calm my nerves. 

He was completely wasted at this point, since he thought it was a good idea to bring a flask of vodka with him, and she was just trying to make the best of it until we all went home. It was clear that neither of them wanted to be here together, but Scott had pretty much threatened him into watching over her, and she didn’t want to be without a date.

Scott successfully snuck in through the roof—don’t ask me how—and was managing to keep an eye on them while dodging coach all night. My eyes swept over the room, seeing nothing but familiar faces, just not the one I was looking for. 

Stiles suddenly pulled back and my arms loosened from around his neck. His eyes rounded as they flickered around my face with concern. “You okay?” 

I glanced over his shoulder again, feeling uncomfortable under his intense gaze. I didn’t want to lie to him, but I also didn’t know how to explain the uneasy feeling I’d had since we got here. My dancing faltered as I noticed that Jackson and Allison were gone.

“Have you seen Lydia recently?” I asked absently, my eyes still sweeping around the gym quickly.

I took a step away from Stiles and turned all the way around, my chest tightening with anxiety. For some reason, I felt like I needed to find her. Right now. Or something terrible was going to happen. My anxiety was quickly rising to panic when I didn’t see her anywhere. 

“Y/N?” Stiles put a hand on my shoulder and I glanced back to see him watching me closely, his brows pinched in confusion.

“I have to...” My skin was crawling with the intense need to get out of here. Something was wrong. I could just feel it. I leaned forward to place a quick kiss on his cheek, already feeling guilty for what I was about to do. “I’m sorry. I’ll be right back.”

I started jogging away before he could try and stop me. My legs had a mind of their own as I stumbled through the dense crowd toward the exit. I braced my hands against the gym doors and pushed my way through, stopping for a moment as they fluttered closed behind me to consider where she could be. I huffed, feeling an urgency deep inside me that was only growing with each passing moment. 

I turned on my heel to keep moving, and slammed right into a hard chest. I reeled back, ready to brush past whoever it was, but stopped when I saw that it was Jackson. His chest was heaving, as if he’d been running, and his eyes were wide with fear. 

“Jackson?” I asked tentatively, the look he was giving me only increasing my unease.

He stammered silently for a few seconds, his mouth opening and closing repeatedly. His eyes fluttered as they glanced away from me apprehensively. He was acting like he’d just seen a ghost, or maybe something worse. 

“What is it? What’s wrong?” I pressed, taking a step toward him. 

He gulped and let out a shuddering sigh. “I-I was out behind the school and...and I was...”

“What? What did you do?” My voice hardened with frustration as I narrowed my eyes at him suspiciously. He had definitely been up to something, if his guilt-ridden expression was any indication. I momentarily forgot what I was supposed to be doing as my curiosity peaked. 

“I-I told...Allison’s dad, he was...”

My heart skipped a beat with panic at his words. Mr. Argent was behind the school? Why would he...

Oh shit. 

Oh my God. 

Without even sparing him another glance, I rushed past him and straight down the hall. Within seconds I was outside, the freezing night air causing my skin to rise with goosebumps instantly. My head whipped from side to side as I tried to figure out which way to go. On instinct, I starting running toward the lacrosse field. 

My heart was hammering painfully in my chest as I sprinted as fast as humanly possible. I was suddenly very glad that I’d chosen to wear ballet flats tonight, instead of the heels Lydia had tried forcing me to buy. I let my intuition guide me as I kept going until I reached the edge of the field. 

I staggered to a stop, my eyes widening at the sight of Lydia standing at the other end. Her back was to me as she walked around slowly, looking lost. I opened my mouth to call her name, feeling my chest loosen just slightly at the fact that she was okay. 

I froze, my whole body growing rigid with fear as Peter suddenly emerged from the tree line just outside the field. His figure was mostly cloaked by the bright stadium lights as he approached her, and it didn’t seem like she’d seen him yet. 

“Lydia!” I screamed, finally finding my voice through the panic coursing through me. I started running in her direction again, having no plan but just needing to be there with her. 

She whipped around at the sound of her name, but made no move to get away. There was nothing I could do but watch in horror as Peter stalked toward her and opened his mouth wide, his eyes flashing bright red. She didn’t react nearly fast enough. 

By the time I reached them, she was laying in a crumpled heap on the turf, blood splattered across her dress. All the air rushed from my lungs as a heavy sense of déjà vu washed over me. 

Of course, how could I be so stupid? It was the vision I’d seen when Derek helped me, finally playing out in real life. 

I let out a trembling breath, my chest feeling like it would collapse any second from the intense pressure. My mind went blank as Peter kneeled over her body, blood dripping down his face. His eyes, still red, slowly swept up to meet mine. 

“Well, they don’t usually run toward me, but I’ll take it.” He muttered lowly, an amused smirk twitching at his lips.

My eyes were still locked onto Lydia’s unconscious frame beneath him. Her new dress was ripped, the red stain at her hip growing alarmingly fast. My heart clenched painfully and tumbled down into my stomach at the sight. 

I was too late.

Peter took his time standing to his full height. I could feel his intense gaze on me, watching me closely, but I couldn’t look away from Lydia. She was so...broken. A wave of nausea washed over me and I forced my eyes to meet his.

My vision blurred as I tried desperately to catch my breath. “Is she dead?”

My voice was barely above a hoarse whisper, my entire body trembling. It was from the overwhelming terror being this close to Peter initiated, but I wasn’t just scared. I was angry. I knew something was going to happen all day, and I ignored my instincts. I saw this very thing happen weeks ago, but did nothing. And now, Lydia might be dead. Because of me. 

Peter hummed low in his throat, his eyes scanning me from head to toe before glancing down at her fleetingly. “Not at the moment.”

A few tears escaped down my cheeks as I tore my gaze away from him to look at her again. I wasn’t even sure if she was breathing. If she was still alive, it was just barely.

My panic only rose as I thought about how unlikely it was that I’d get out of this situation in time to bring her to a hospital. Her chances of survival were dropping by the second. And mine too, probably. 

“Tell me, Y/N, what do you see in my future?” Peter look a slow step toward me, and I stumbled back to keep some distance between us. 

My eyes jerked up to his as I stiffened, a shiver wracking my body as I became more aware of the freezing temperature. “How do you know about that?”

The earth crunched beneath his shoes as he stalked toward me. I stood impossibly still, knowing I wouldn’t be able to escape him. He didn’t stop until he loomed only inches away.

“How does anyone know anything?” He murmured hoarsely into my ear, and I recoiled back, my stomach clenching painfully in disgust. My eyes pinched shut as one of his hands came up to brush a stray lock of hair away from my face. “You, my dear, would make a fantastic beta.”

My eyes jerked open again and I took a miniscule step away from him, my hands clenching into fists at my sides. “Trust me, I wouldn’t. I’ve been told I can be really annoying. I wouldn’t make a good beta. Or a good anything, really. I’m hardly a psychic. You should just keep searching because, you know, whatever it is you’re looking for...isn’t me.”

“Oh, I think I’m willing to take my chances.” Time seemed to slow as his eyes flashed bright red, his mouth opening wide to show his razor sharp canines. 

I whipped around, ready to at least attempt running for my life, but instantly froze at the sight of Stiles barreling toward us. 

“No!” I shouted frantically, my heart leaping into my throat with panic.

A strong arm wrapped around my stomach and wrenched me backward. I slammed against Peter’s chest, hard. The air was knocked out of my lungs from the force, just as a clawed hand snaked around my throat.

Stiles lurched to a stop in front of us, his dress shoes slipping on the damp turf. He flailed to the ground before popping back up instantly, his eyes wide with horror as they glanced down at Lydia before landing on me.

“Don’t kill her. Please.” His voice was trembling with desperation as he held a hand out toward us hesitantly.

The tips of Peter’s claws dug into my skin and I winced, tears now running freely down my face. I was terrified. For myself, Lydia, and now Stiles. Peter had killed many times before, and there was literally nothing stopping him now. Stiles’ eyes flickered to my neck, his jaw clenching tightly. 

“Of course not. Just tell me how to find Derek.” Peter drawled, as if he wasn’t currently poised to do the opposite. 

“W-what?” Stiles stammered, seemingly surprised by that request. His gaze was still firmly planted on Peter’s hand.

I felt a sharp stabbing at the base of my throat and my lips parted as a shuddering gasp escaped me. He was surely drawing blood at this point. Stiles’ eyes widened with alarm at the sight and his hand jerked toward us as if he were itching to intervene. 

“Tell me how to find Derek Hale.” Peter leaned down, his warm breath fanning my shoulder. I tried jerking my head away, my heart lurching in my chest at his close proximity, but didn’t get far with his tight hold around me. 

“I don’t know that! How would I know that?” Stiles’ voice rose to a frantic shout, his chest heaving as his glistening eyes finally moved up to Peter. 

“You’re the clever one, aren’t you? And because deception has a very particularly accurate scent, Stiles. Tell me the truth. Or I will rip her apart.”

As if to prove the validity behind his words, his hand tightened around my throat. I instantly started pulling at his fingers as I felt my airway closing. My lips parted in a silent gasp, my lungs spasming painfully as I tried to force a breath in. 

“Look. I don’t know! Okay?” Stiles rushed the words out in a complete panic, his eyes darting between Peter and my neck. Tiny black spots dotted my vision as I felt myself growing faint. “I swear—I swear to God I have no idea!”

Peter hummed low in his throat, his chest vibrating against my back. “Wrong again.” 

Everything that happened next must’ve taken place in only a few seconds, but they seemed to drag on and on. Peter’s head jerked down to my left shoulder, his teeth digging into my skin easily. A scream tore through my throat as he finally released it, my vision blurring as unbearable pain rippled along my upper body. 

Stiles face crumbled in utter horror and he lunged toward me just as Peter’s arms disappeared. I tried gasping for breath as I sagged to the ground, but my body just wasn’t cooperating. It felt like Stiles caught me, but I couldn’t be sure as I lost all feeling in my limbs.

Then, everything went black. 

                                                    ————————

I stirred, already wincing in pain as I slowly regained consciousness. A high pitched droning was the only sound in my otherwise quiet surroundings. My eyes fluttered open and instantly squinted against the harsh fluorescent lights above me.

Everything felt heavy. I sluggishly started turning my head away from the lights, but jerked to a stop as searing pain radiated from my shoulder. My face fell into a grimace as a pitiful groan escaped my lips.

Something shuffled at the foot of my bed and I froze. My heart jumped in my chest with panic. Memories of Peter came flooding back all at once, and I started trembling with fear at the unknown presence.

Stiles jerked upright, appearing at my side a split second later. I let out a small sigh of relief, wincing as my lungs angrily protested each breath I took. My body began relaxing as I realized I was safe. 

“Oh my God! Y/N!” He practically yelled in my face as he leaned down over me. “Are you okay? Wait, that’s a stupid question. How are you feeling? Does it hurt?” 

One of his hands disappeared beneath the thin mesh blanket covering my body and he pulled out a hallow cord with a small switch in the middle. “If it hurts you can push this button as much as you want and I won’t tell. You’ll be higher than a kite, but—”

“Stiles.” My voice was barely above a hoarse whisper as I interrupted his frantic rambling. “I feel okay. Just tired.”

Truthfully, I hadn’t been awake long enough to know how I felt. I’d gathered that I was in the hospital, but obviously didn’t know much else. My entire left side hurt like hell.

My eyes trailed over Stiles quickly, noting that he was still wearing his clothes from the dance. His white button up was stained with blood and dirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His black jacket had been discarded on a table by the door.

Maybe it hadn’t been long, then?

“Seriously?” He sagged down into the chair that sat beside my bed, his eyes widening in surprise. “You were asleep for almost thirty hours.”

“I was what?” I planted my hands on either side of my hips and pushed myself up, ignoring the pain that ripped through my shoulder at the movement. 

How the hell had I been out that long? That meant it was already Sunday, although probably somewhere around midnight. Too many panicked thoughts invaded my mind at once to make sense out of any one of them. 

Stiles bolted back to his feet and pushed me against the bed with a disapproving glare. “It was actually twenty eight hours, forty seven minutes, and sixteen seconds, if that makes you feel better.”

“You know what, somehow it does.” I huffed sarcastically with a roll of my eyes, wiggling around on the hard mattress in an effort to get comfortable again. 

Stiles twitched his eyes at me while he sat back down apprehensively, as if not trusting me to stay put. He brought a hand up to rub at the back of his neck as he glanced down to my injured shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Y/N...”

“For what?” My brows furrowed in confusion. I really had no idea why he would be apologizing. There was definitely a list of people that should feel bad right now, but he wasn’t one of them. 

“I should’ve listened. If I’d just told him what he wanted...” He let out a heavy sigh and rested his elbows onto his knees before dropping his head into his hands. 

I reached out and took one of his hands in mine, rubbing my fingers across his skin soothingly as he looked up at me cautiously. He had no reason to blame himself. Peter had already proven time and time again that he’s literally insane, and I’d made the stupid decision to run toward him mid-attack. I had a feeling he would’ve bitten me either way, regardless of anything Stiles did. 

“It’s not your fault.” His lips pressed into a thin line, his eyes glistening with a slew of intense emotions. 

I didn’t even have time to start deciphering them before he sat forward in his chair, his face hardening with determination. “I should’ve brought this up before I had to watch you almost die, but...you’re not—you know, how you are with me...with any other guys, right?”

His voice was timid as he struggled to stutter out the words. My heart swelled in my chest as my lips pulled up into a small smile. That was the most adorable, perfect, Stiles way of phrasing that question. For a moment, I forgot about all my worries.

“Stilinski, are you asking me to be your girlfriend?” 

His eyes twitched as he squeezed his fingers around mine minutely. “Only if you’re gonna say yes.”

I didn’t even have to think about it for a second. 

“Of course I’m saying yes, you dork.” I let out a breathy giggle as a big grin took over his face. 

His caramel eyes shined with happiness as he brought my hand against his mouth to place a gentle kiss on my fingers. It was about damn time we had that conversation. I honestly shouldn’t be surprised that it took us this long to make things official, considering how stubborn we both are. Regardless, it felt amazing to finally be able to call him my boyfriend. 

My boyfriend, Stiles. It had a nice ring to it. 

I only let myself relish the moment for a few more seconds before finally asking about the one thing I’d been dreading thinking about since waking up.

“How’s Lydia? Is she...?” I trailed off, not able to say the word out loud. 

When I’d seen her last, she was only moments away from death. I was sure of it. If I’d been here this long from a bite to the shoulder, I couldn’t imagine the damage that had been done to her. My heart clenched with regret as I thought back to all the moments I could’ve done something differently that would’ve saved her. 

Stiles winced beside me, hesitating for a long moment before answering in a quiet mumble. “She’s uh...missing.”

“Excuse me?” I instantly tried bolting upright at his words, my anxiety skyrocketing. Missing? How could she be missing?

He guided me back down gently with a hand on my uninjured shoulder, his eyes narrowing again in warning. “Yeah. She just kinda disappeared from her room this morning.”

It was like he could sense that I was about to try getting up again, as he peered down at me sternly and pressed his hand down more firmly. “My dad already has the entire department out searching. There’s nothing you can do.”

My mind was racing with anxious, jumbled thoughts. She could’ve been taken if no one was sitting by her bedside like Stiles had clearly done for me. Or, she could’ve run away. But why would she do that? She was in the hospital. Where she was safe and getting treatment. I guess, there was always a chance that she’d taken to the bite and shifted already...

I didn’t know what any of this meant for me. I could only assume at this point that I wasn’t a werewolf. I mean, my shoulder clearly hadn’t miraculously healed yet. I figured, if I were, it would’ve done so by now. I was just incredibly glad—and lucky—to be alive. 

My eyes met Stiles’ as he leaned back in his chair and inspected me closely. He kept glancing toward the place where Peter had bitten me as he drummed his fingers against his lips. It was like he couldn’t tear his gaze away. 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” I breathed, suddenly nervous. His anxious expression couldn’t mean anything good.  

“There’s something I keep—something Derek said awhile ago that I can’t get out of my head.” He mumbled, his eyebrows furrowing in apprehension. 

I looked at him expectantly, urging him to continue. He was seriously starting to freak me out.

“The bite—he said it either kills you...and I think we’re good on that one...”

I glowered at his poorly timed sarcasm as his eyes continued flickering between my own and my shoulder. He swallowed thickly, and I could practically see his heart racing as he let out a ragged sigh. He finally caught my gaze, twitching uncomfortably in his seat. 

“Or it changes you.”

Well, shit.

Episode 10                 Episode 12

[jalapeno-princess]

Chapter 5: Yours, Mine and Ours

Mark Tuan X Reader

Final chapter of the “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” series

Genre: So much sweet, cheesy, adorable, heartwarming fluff (and quite a bit of horny ass Mark) (Some sexual content but nothing too crazy...I think)

Word count: 23K (Of course I had to go all out for the last chapter guys good luck)

A/N: Here’s the finale! The last chapter for our favorite couple. God, I can’t fathom just how sad I am that it’s actually over. I genuinely loved writing this story and I feel as though it has helped me progress in my writing (although there is a lot of repetition and parts that don’t make sense, I love how the entire series came out. Thank you so much for all of your love and support for this specific work of mines. I was so overwhelmed with how much positive comments I’ve received for this story in particular. (Dude when am I going to find me a man like the Mark I write in this story I’m going to die single and alone hahaha). Anyways, I feel as though I could have wrote this one much better because it is the last chapter but who cares! I just wanted to put it out for you guys and I’m so excited to be starting a new series. Happy reading everyone. Who knows, I might just end up writing a couple of one shots based on this couple some time in the future.

“I don’t get it, why am I here? Don’t get me wrong Y/n, you’re like a sister to me and I would do anything for you—but out of all of our friends, why did you choose me to come wedding dress shopping with you? I saw on Instagram that the guys are out at the arcade; your fiancé literally put on one tux and called it a day. This is the fifteenth dress you put on and it doesn’t seem like we’re going to be finished anytime soon. Isn’t this something you do with both his and your mothers? Or your girlfriends—“

You rolled your eyes at the older boy’s numerous complaints and made your way back in to the dressing room to put on the next gown. Mark had proposed to you over a month ago and out of the many wonderful memories you’ve made together so far in your relationship—that night had to be the best night of your entire life.

“Will you do the amazing honor and continue to make me the happiest man on earth by marrying me?”

There were so many different thoughts running through your mind—how long has he been planning this for? How long has he had the ring for? What made him choose this night in particular to ask you such a life changing question? Did anyone else know what his plans were? Watching him look up at you with nervousness yet adoration in his eyes made your heart flutter.

You’ve had the incredible opportunity to see Mark get all shy and flustered whenever it came to you for so many years now and he’d only get more timid as the two of you got older. He might have been a very outgoing and outspoken person; as a leader of multiple sports teams, he would always have to be upfront and command others to do things. However, you were the only person that he would submit to—well, any time other than when it came to the bedroom.

Your boyfriend was completely captivated by you and in his eyes, every little thing you did was magic. You already knew your answer; you’ve known your answer even before you could comprehend what it meant to get married. As kids, you and Mark would play house; he was the husband and you were the wife. Most boys hated playing house and it was obviously because they found the game boring and considerably “girly”. Mark on the other hand enjoyed doing anything domestic with you and he confessed once that he enjoyed playing house with you so much because he’d get a taste of what your future together would be like.

At the prime age of eleven and honestly—even before then, you’ve dreamt about marrying Mark. If only your five-year-old self could see how far the two of you have come. What you and Mark had was rare; people would always tell the two of you that you were “too young to know what love was” and that your relationship was just “puppy love”. You wondered how the people who doubted your relationship would feel if they knew that your boyfriend of fifteen years was currently on bended knee, asking for you to spend the rest of your life with him.

You brought one hand down in to his hair while cupping his cheek with the other hand. He immediately leaned in to your palm and hid his face against your thigh; you had a feeling he assumed your sudden skin ship was a bad sign with the way he was preventing himself from looking up at you.

“Look at me.”

He shook his head in disagreement—probably because he was extremely nervous for your response, but you reached for his chin and lifted it up so that he was making direct eye contact with you.

“Mark Yi-En Tuan, it would be my honor to marry you baby. God I sound so formal—but I want nothing more than to finally be called Mrs.Tuan. I can’t—I can’t fathom how happy I am right now nor can I even find the words to describe how much I love you, with every fiber of my being and how happy I am to be the lucky girl who gets to love you and is loved by you. You mean everything to me Mark—you are my everything and I can’t wait to walk down the aisle and set our love in stone. I love you so fucking much I can’t even express it in to words. You’re otherworldly my love. I’m so fucking excited.”

You sank down to your knees and allowed him to place the ring on your finger to which he clumsily missed a couple of times because he was too busy staring at you with so much excitement and adoration. Before he could say anything, you brought his face in between your hands and roughly smashed your lips against him. He smiled gently in to the kiss; humming contently while melding your lips together. In all your many years of being in love with him for, this had to be the happiest you’ve ever been; you were completely over the moon.

He lowered his hands down to your waist and gripped on your hips all but gently while bringing you on to his lap. The two of you made out for a couple of minutes; the desire to be as close in proximity with each other as physically possible was seeping through your veins. You wanted him to feel just how thrilled you were to finally become one with your boyfriend.

Once you felt his excitement through his sweats graze against your thigh, your cheeks were flushed with pink. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t excited at the idea of celebrating your engagement—you couldn’t get your hands off of the devastatingly handsome man sitting in front of you. As soon as he pulled away to catch his breath, you let out a soft whimper; earning yourself the most adorable high pitched laugh that never failed to make your heart flutter.

“When did you—how did you—wait, babe, did you tell my parents? Does anybody know?” He scratched the back of his neck in embarrassment while looking everywhere around your shared bedroom but at you.

“I uh—the guys know—um, but I didn’t get around to telling anyone else. I was meaning to do it, but I wanted to ask for their blessing to marry you in person. Since we don’t plan on going back home for another two months, I made a plan to act as if I had yet to ask you and see what they thought about it—that’s if you said yes. But let’s be honest baby, you were going to say yes to me even if I proposed with a ring pop.”

You scoffed playfully at his words before shoving him. A part of you was actually quite nervous to hear how your parents would react to Mark asking for your hand in marriage—even if your parents loved the older boy and knew that the two of you were destined to spend the rest of your lives together, you were both still so young.

Hell, you were both in college working shitty ass jobs; you knew your mom wanted you to be financially stable before making the choice to get married and start a family. But all of that didn’t matter right now. All you cared about was the fact that Mark was just so excited to marry you that he couldn’t wait to ask—no matter how much he might have been going against your parent’s wishes.

“Wait, Mark—the ring. It’s so beautiful—honestly, it’s so perfect. But I’m sure it must have costed you a fortune. You know I would’ve been content with one of those rings you get from cereal boxes—“

He covered your mouth in attempts to keep you quiet and placed a sloppy kiss on your jaw. This man was honestly all you could ever need for the rest of your life—Mark Tuan in more or less words had to be the most imperfect perfect human being that you’ve ever met.

“You know you deserve the entire world and more. I’m marrying you for that specific reason—I’m going to give you everything you deserve baby. My girl deserves nothing but the best. Damnit y/n, look at how soft you’ve made me—oh I mean, you make me really fucking hard a lot of the time—99.9% of the time, but I’m such a lovesick fool for you and I love it. I would do anything and everything for you. You should know that by now. I’m not going to lie, it wasn’t the cheapest thing I’ve purchased, but I’ve been saving up money since the time we were in elementary school. I’ve known from the beginning that I was going to marry you one day, so twelve-year-old me started up a piggy bank and put every single dollar I got—from my allowance to birthday and Christmas money in that jar. I missed out on the PS4 because I wanted to buy you the ring of your dreams baby and trust me—seeing that beautiful smile of yours right now, it was so worth it. However, if you want to show me your gratitude by sucking me dry or even buying me the ps5 if you’re feeling generous, be my guest.”

Tears began to brim at your eyelids as you listened to him talk about how he wanted to provide you with nothing but your hearts desires even at such a young age. Most boys at the age of ten don’t even think about marriage nor was anyone in a relationship other than you and your boyfriend. What did you do to deserve such a golden-hearted, selfless, loving, caring and generous man to call your fiancé? God, you were never going to get tired of calling him your fiancé.

“We don’t have to get married just yet if you’re not ready. I’m sure you want to finish college first or at least until we can actually afford a decent wedding but if I’m being honest with you baby, I don’t care where we get married. We can go to fly to Vegas tomorrow and get hitched if that’s what you want. I don’t care if we have hundreds of guests or only ten people there—I don’t care if we have flower arrangements or a ten-tiered cake. All I need is for you to meet me at the altar. But I’ll do whatever you want me to do—I’ll take our engagement at whatever pace you want to. However, I’m taking our love making session tonight at my pace—I hope you’re ready.”

You felt your cheeks warm up as you remembered how Mark took you up against almost every surface in your apartment right after the proposal. He wasted no time practically ripping your clothes off and worshipping your body in the most erotic way.

Although sex wasn’t the most important aspect in your relationship, it had to be in the top five of your favorite things you did with Mark along with cuddling, going grocery shopping, baking something together that you’d see on Cake Boss and going to bed in his arms. But it was more than just reaching an orgasm and feeling the delicious stretch his cock would bring to your pussy—sex was extremely intimate.

No matter how rough, dominant and animalistic Mark could get during every single love making session, he’d find himself whispering multiple love confessions in your ear while intertwining your hands together and kissing you all around your face and body.

As you put on the next dress, you found yourself not able to take your eyes off of it once the employee came in to help you zip it up. To say this dress was beautiful had to be an understatement—it was everything you could ever dream of in a wedding dress. You didn’t care if it was cliche; ever since you were a little girl and watched every single Disney princess movie there was, your dream was to get married in a princess gown; one made of tulle and took up most of your walking space.

The top was a v-cut and showed off just enough cleavage that didn’t reveal too much yet could still be considered exceedingly sexy. You began to tear up—even if you and Mark both agreed that the two of you wouldn’t rush with the wedding arrangements and that you both wanted to focus on finishing school before getting married, you were still so excited getting to look around for dresses, accessories and anything that had to do with the wedding.

“I obviously chose you for a reason BamBam. You have an eye and taste for fashion that none of the other guys possess. Don’t worry, I’ll treat you out to lunch right after we’re finished. We can go anywhere you want to go. By the way, I um—I was actually going to ask if you wanted to be my man of honor. I don’t really have any friends other than the five of you and my fiancé. I was going to ask my sister to be my maid of honor, but she volunteered to be the photographer. If you don’t want to or if you’re against that idea, I can choose someone else—“

“Don’t you dare—that spot is rightfully mine! I’ve always known I was your favorite and I don’t blame you, I’m pretty amazing. Now hurry up and let me see the next dress!”

You let out a soft chuckle and took one more look in the mirror; smiling at how the dress fit you perfectly—as if it was made for you specifically. Right as you walked outside, BamBam’s eyes widened in shock while his jaw dropped. If this was his reaction, you couldn’t wait to see Mark’s—that’s if you decided to go with this dress.

His expression made it obvious that the dress was one that he must have liked; he never said much about the other fifteen dresses you tried on so far. Either that or he just really wanted to hurry up and go get some lunch.

“Y/n—you look beautiful. Like an actual princess. Mark is a very lucky guy. Wow—I can’t stop looking at you, you’re glowing. Wait, I value my life—I didn’t say anything. You heard nothing.”

Your laughter filled the waiting area that the two of you were occupying at the moment; knowing Mark’s jealous and territorial tendencies, BamBam did not want to face his wrath if he were to find out what the younger boy said about you—even if it was all in good fun. Being the youngest, both BamBam and Yugyeom found themselves doing things they knew would get under Mark’s skin just because they found entertainment in driving their eldest friend crazy.

However, all the boys knew not to do anything to or with you that was crossing any boundaries; they would never hear the end of it. One time, the naive boy who was currently accompanying you jokingly intertwined your hands together while you all went out to eat dinner and you found yourself going along with it to get a rise out of Mark. Your fiancé tried his best to conceal his jealousy; even if everyone knew just how protective and extremely territorial Mark was when it came to you, he didn’t want to make it obvious that he was bitter over your interactions with his friends or rather—their interactions with you.

Mark didn’t say anything out loud about what he thought of the skin ship between you and BamBam, but you could tell he was upset when he bought ice cream for everyone but BamBam. He also confronted you for your playful and flirtatious behavior back at your shared apartment which led to extremely kinky and passionate sex—he wanted to take out his irritation and jealousy out on you while ramming himself deep inside of your tight pussy. You weren’t going to lie, a jealous Mark was a rough and dominant Mark—anytime he showed that he was jealous or felt intimidated by another man it just solidified that he was afraid to lose you and that he loved you so much, he hated the idea of someone else taking you away from him.

No matter how many years the two of you have been together, how many memories you’ve shared with each other or how many times on a daily basis that you remind him exactly how much you love him and only him—that didn’t stop him from thinking negatively but it was only because you meant the entire world to him.

Sometimes he’d gaze at you while you were asleep and thanked whatever power it was that put the two of you together because God knows he would be nothing if he didn’t have you.

“Thank you BamBam. I think—I think this is the dress. I can’t stop smiling, I love how it looks and feels on me and I love how I feel wearing it. Should I keep looking around or should I put it on hold?” He stood up and walked over to where you were standing in front of the mirrors and helped you fix the dress before gently squeezing your cheek.

“This is the one. You said so yourself, this dress is your dress—I think you look unfathomably stunning and I know Mark’s going to both cry like the emotional ass we all know him to be and get hard as a rock—I wouldn’t be surprised if you end up starting your family on the night of your honeymoon—ow! I’m being serious, we all know how horny the two of you are I’m surprised you don’t already have children—I hope you know I plan on ringing up your bill to pay for the abuse I’m receiving. Oh, and I plan on getting tipsy, so be prepared.” You scoffed sarcastically before giving him a teasing smirk.

“I can’t wait until it’s your turn to go through something like this—“ He shook his head in disagreement before you could even finish your sentence.

“I don’t see myself getting married if I’m being honest. Unless I find someone who looks at me like the sun shines out of my ass the way your fiancé always looks at you and loves me the way you and Mark do with each other, then I plan on staying single for the rest of my life. The two of you are really lucky to have found one another. I don’t know if he’s ever told you this nor do I know if I should be admitting this to you right now so please do us both a favor and keep this between the two of us—but Mark told Yugyeom and I that he would give up every single person in his life—everyone—our friends and even his family just to have you in his life forever. He claimed that he could live without any one of us which I found extremely rude, but he made it completely aware that he needs you. You’re like his lifeline or some sappy shit like that. Honestly, I think you and Mark were made for each other. You’re so cute together it’s disgusting.”

He let out a chuckle when he saw tears forming as he continued his heartfelt speech—but it was the truth. The two of you have know each other for almost the entirety of your lives. Everything you did, everywhere you went—so did Mark and neither of you would have it any other way. Right after you went back inside of the dressing room and changed in to your clothes, you went up to the receptionist and put the gown on hold.

The two of you made your way to BamBam’s favorite restaurant—one that was extremely fancy and renowned, which also meant expensive; but it didn’t matter. He did you a huge favor by coming with you today, the least you could do was treat him to a meal. BamBam wasn’t wrong when he confirmed the fact that he was your favorite out of all Mark’s friends. Each boy held a special place in your heart, they all treated you like you were a member of their family—but your relationship with BamBam was just a little more tight knit.

Lunch was filled with laughter, playful banter and him nonchalantly hinting towards wanting to be a godfather to one of your kids when you and Mark actually did start having children—he also snuck you some wine and a couple of mojitos when the waiters weren’t paying attention which led you on the path of inebriation. Mark sent you a few text messages hinting towards wanting you to come home as soon as possible because he missed you and wanted to spend the rest of the afternoon just lazing around on the couch together.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t a lightweight and that you were completely all there mentally because you were the complete opposite of mentally stable. BamBam knew he made a mistake of allowing you to drink as soon as you began laughing at nothing. You never really drank; especially because you were still underage and didn’t believe in breaking the law, but there were a couple times when the guys would come over with a couple of beers or wine coolers and you’d find yourself drinking one or two every now and then.

It never got you drunk enough to the state you were in right now and BamBam could only hope you would sober up once you got back to your apartment or else he would get in trouble with your fiancé. Watching you drink more than you should have actually sobered BamBam up pretty quickly so he was able to drive you home. The car ride went faster than expected but it was probably because alcohol slowed down your thinking. For all you knew, he was driving for over half an hour but it felt like five minutes as he pulled up to your building.

“Let me know when you get upstairs and tell Mark I said hello. Have a nice evening y/n, I’ll see you next week!”

You didn’t know how you did it, but you walked up three flights of stairs without stumbling. Sure, you weren’t completely drunk, but walking seemed like the hardest thing to do right now. Once you finally made it up to your unit and walked inside, you placed your things on the counter and smiled softly to yourself when you saw Mark sitting on the couch.

“Hey baby! I’ve missed you, how was dress shopping?”

He was currently shirtless and wearing a pair of gray sweatpants; a very lethal combination especially because he’s been working out a lot more these days. You could feel warmth building up in your core at the sight of him—he was so attractive and it’s as if the alcohol heightened your senses—you wanted to pounce on him.

“It was good—I um—I actually found a dress I really like—how about you? BamBam was um—complaining that you um—arcade—“

Slowly and hesitantly, you sauntered towards the couch and found your place on top of his lap. You didn’t know why you were now extremely horny—well, you were always in the mood for sex with Mark, but normally it took a little of sexual tension and flirting to get to that point. What exactly was in those drinks that BamBam gave you?

“Baby.”

You looked up at him with your glossy eyes and Mark knew in his gut that you were drunk. The way you kept repeat the word um and your body movements confirmed his suspicions and he was mentally cursing BamBam for allowing his sweet, innocent—well, innocent when it comes to following the rules—fiancée to drink alcohol—especially in an environment where you both could have gotten in trouble if you were caught.

He wasn’t going to lie though, drunken sex with you was on the top of his list of the many kinks he had. From what a few of his teammates would tell him, drunk sex had to be the best mind of sex next to make up sex and reunited sex. By the way you were grinding all but gently against his pelvis, he had a feeling you were just as turned on as he now was and he had no intentions of stopping you.

“Be honest with me, you drank alcohol didn’t you?” You didn’t even hesitate in nodding your head and he let out a snarky little chuckle at your eagerness before grabbing your ass and massaging both cheeks.

“Mhm—“

Since he was completely aware of your insobriety—you found no point in continuing to pretend that you weren’t tipsy and began to leave sloppy kisses along the juncture of his neck while running your finger along his hardened abs. It didn’t take long for you to feel his hard on press firmly against your clothed entrance and it only motivated you to quicken your pace.

“You are so sexy Mark—fuck—“

Hearing a moan fall from his pretty lips led you to roughly smashing your mouth against his. BamBam had a point; how were you not a mother yet? You and Mark could never keep your eyes nor your hands off of each other, no matter how tired you and your fiancé were after you came home from work and school, you both always seemed to have enough energy to relish in your love together.

“Have you seen yourself? You look so fucking good y/n I don’t know why I even allowed you to leave this morning. I know I told you this outfit was so cute on you earlier but I just know it will look cuter on the floor—ah shit.”

You secretly slipped your hand inside of his pants and palmed him through his underwear; grabbing and squeezing on his cock through the soft fabric. His dick was stiff at this point and you could feel your mouth water at the thought of blowing him. He let out a whimper as you got off of his lap and was right about to complain until he saw you lower yourself with your face just inches away from his penis.

“I plan on sucking you dry—then I’m going to bounce on this cock and I want you to fuck me from behind. Am I clear?”

Mark’s eyes widened in shock at your command; normally, he was the dominant one in bed with you occasionally taking the lead whenever you felt like it but it was extremely rare to hear you tell him what you wanted him to do to you and honestly—your dominance drove him insane. He nodded profusely; wanting to show you how much of an animalistic and lewd effect you were having on him.

The two have dabbled in drunken sex before, but it was always your boyfriend who had a little too much to drink. You never really drank to the point where your mind wasn’t all completely there before and Mark was more than excited to see how dirty and naughty things were going to get between the two of you. If you were already being so forceful and commanding, he couldn’t imagine how much more dominant you were going to be. To Mark’s dismay, your movements were slow—too slow for his liking.

“Y/n, please—“ You looked up at him and feigned innocence.

“Please what baby?” The glare he sent you, knowing exactly what he was asking for sent chills down your spine. He let out a growl from the back of his throat and all but gently pulled at your hair.

“Don’t get me wrong, I can’t wait to fuck the living shit out of you and I’m all for a dominant y/n, but if you don’t hurry up and shove my dick down your throat I will make it my responsibility to make you immobile for the rest of this week. Am I clear?”

You rolled your eyes at his words; scoffing quietly at his mimicking, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy it. You began rubbing your thighs together to enforce any kind of friction against your throbbing core. The coil in your stomach began to twist the longer you continued to tease him; dragging your fingers painfully slow against his throbbing veins and fondling his balls.

Whenever you were either swallowing him whole or giving him a hand job, you would receive just as much; if not more pleasure from watching his facial expressions and hearing his breathless moans. It never failed to rile you up and get you extremely turned on. He hissed when he realized what you were doing—as much as he loved it whenever you would tease and mess around with him—play with him and drive him to the brink of insanity, he was not having it right now.

He’s been thinking about you the entire day; some thoughts were cute and romantic, but most thoughts were dirty and naughty; most of the thoughts were the different kind of positions he wanted the two of you to experiment with.

“Y/n, please—do anything, I’ll be a good boy, I promise—ah—ah—shit!”

You did both you and your fiancé a favor by finally pulling his underwear down to his knees before grabbing his cock at the base and grazing your thumb along his slit. Bringing your index finger up to his tip, you swiped off some of his precum and brought it in your mouth; sucking your finger clean of him.

“Shit—shit, you’re so fucking hot.“

Anytime Mark complimented you; no matter what it was about or referred to, your stomach would fill with butterflies. You didn’t know what you liked hearing more—him telling you that you were the most beautiful goddess to walk this earth or that you were the sexiest woman he’s ever laid his eyes on and that his favorite place to be was in between your thighs. You licked a stripe along his hardened cock, running your hands along his length and leaving a sloppy kiss on this tip before finally taking him in to your mouth completely.

He let out a loud, wanton moan at the feeling of your warm mouth encompassed around his cock—bringing him as far down your throat as you could without gagging. You wasted no time bobbing your head up and down—moaning against his girth every time you felt his tip touch the back of your throat.

His reactions—the many praises—erotic grunts—dirty words—they only made you want to go faster. You hollowed your cheeks, trying to keep your mouth as tight as possible to give him an immense amount of pleasure against his length while you continued humming softly at every tap of his cock against your uvula. His grip on your hair was tight; he yanked and pulled every time you sucked a little too hard. However, you were well aware by the sinful noises falling from his lips that he was really enjoying this—as he did every single time you found yourself on your knees.

Switching back and forth from his dick to his balls, you could tell Mark was close—he had a tendency of tensing up at the endless amount of pleasure you were generously giving to him. Unlike a lot of horror stories you’ve heard about or read online, you genuinely enjoyed giving your boyfriend head. It might have been just the tiniest amount of painful, but hearing and seeing the effect you had on him made the pain worth it.

“Damnit—I didn’t want to come just yet—fuck—“

His warm, creamy liquid was shooting in squirts against your tongue and you swallowed it up entirely before releasing him with a loud pop. You placed a soft kiss against his tip before making your way back up to him.

“God, I can’t even—give me a second would you?”

Your laughter filled the room at the sight of how visibly exhausted he looked; it wasn’t something you weren’t used to though. No matter what it was the two of you did together during your love making sessions, whether it was sucking the life of him, bouncing on him like a rabbit or letting him take you from behind, Mark was notorious for never being able to last long. In the beginning, he was embarrassed that he could reach an orgasm in less than ten minutes, but the longer the two of you would experiment in location, positions, with toys and just taking turns with who would be the dominant one and who would be the submissive one for the night—he realized that there was nothing wrong with the fact that he could cum in a matter of minutes. In fact, he was proud to say that you were just so good to him he couldn’t contain his excitement or his load for that matter.

“I know I say this a lot, but you’re actually going to be the death of me you know that? Come to think of it though, I wouldn’t mind having the cause of my death being sex or particularly getting a heart attack while your pretty mouth is wrapped around my cock or while I’m in the middle of railing the shit out of you. However, I’m very adamant on spending the rest of my life with you—but I’m not complaining. Getting my dick sucked by such a professional is a dream—your mouth is as beautiful as it is so fucking naughty.”

He pulled you up to him and stole a sweet kiss from your lips—gliding his tongue along your bottom lip all but gently. His teeth clashed against yours as he melded his mouth at an angle that was easier to kiss you in. To his dismay, you pulled away to get a better look at him and playfully pinched his cheek.

“You’re an idiot you know that?” He rolled his eyes at your insult before squeezing both of your butt cheeks.

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever. But I’m your idiot and you love me.”

“That I do.”

He beamed up at you before flipping you on top of the bed and hovering over you. His lips found your neck and he began to attack your nape with sloppy kisses.

“Let me return the favor.”

He was about to make his way down to your entrance which he knew was probably soaking at this point when he noticed you shaking your head in disagreement. This shocked him; you were just as much a fan of receiving head as you were of giving—but he wasn’t going to question it. Were you already worn out? He felt bad; you took such amazing care of him and literally blew his mind—it was only natural for him to want to give you that same experience.

“As much as I want your pretty little tongue slurping against my folds while you bury your long, skinny fingers inside of me, I want something else to fill me up. Having you in my mouth only made me want you deep inside of my cunt baby. You can eat me out later. Now—now I need you to fuck me like you hate me.”

The growl that came from the back of his throat went straight to your core—if you weren’t already wet, you would be drenched here pretty soon. He pinned you to the bed and smashed his lips against yours. He gave you no warning as he yanked your blouse off—nearly tearing it at the bottom; earning himself a glare that he simply laughed off.

“I’ve bought you many outfits after ruining them—this time is no different. I just need to see you bare—naked and writhing just for me. I want you—all of you y/n and I can’t help myself—fuck—I’m very blessed to have the honor in seeing your tits every single day but I’m never mentally prepared for what the sight does to me and my overbearing hormones.”

One by one, both his and your clothing items were scattered throughout your room; his mouth encompassed one of your breasts—licking and sucking on your nipple, bringing it in between his teeth while massaging your other breast with his free hand.

“Such a beautiful, beautiful girl with such pretty—pretty titties. My perfect little baby. I’m going to wreck you my love—that’s a promise.”

For hours, you and Mark loved on each other’s bodies—going down on one another, dry humping him and allowing your juices to seep down his leg, riding his cock while he hid his face in between the valley of your breasts, allowing him to take you up against almost every single surface in your apartment, letting him fuck you on all fours while he roughly shoved your face in to the pillows and finally ending in missionary so that he could chant many love confessions while sinking himself in and out of your tight walls.

Once the two of you both tapped out from exhaustion, he started to run you a bath and prepared your things; a pair of clean underwear, your blow dryer and one of his oversized shirts that practically swallowed you whole. He carefully picked you up bridal style and joked about how you should get used to being carried like that since it was likely that the two of you would be tying the knot pretty soon.

Your fiancé took his place inside of the bathtub and brought you down with him; leaning against the tub and allowing you to get comfortable while he grabbed your shampoo bottle and lathered some of it inside of your hair.  

“If I knew how fucking amazing that was going to be, I would have given you alcohol a long time ago. You’re so fucking horny when you’re drunk. You’re also a lot rougher and lewd—I think you’re a lot more libidinous when you’re tipsy and I fucking love it. I’m getting you drunk at least once a week—I think that’s why you literally sucked me dry of all that I have.” You giggled softly before reaching for his hand and placing gentle kisses on each fingertip.

“Baby, look at me.”

You did as you were told and turned around to face him; giving him the softest and most adorable smile he was sure he’s ever seen. There was no way you were real; you were too damn perfect to be real. You had to be a figment of his imagination; yet here you were. Skin on skin; kissing him feather-lightly, running your fingers through his hair, tracing his features and looking at him with so much love and adoration to the point where he was sure he could melt in to a puddle. You hummed in curiosity and brushed back some of his hair while giving him your undying attention.

“I can’t wait to finally marry you. I’m 100% sure our wedding day is going to be the best day of my entire life—especially our wedding night. I wouldn’t be surprised if you end up pregnant the week after—ow! I’m being serious!”

“We literally just had sex for over four hours yet you’re still so horny—you’re a work of art you know that?”

“Well I mean—look at you. You’re an otherworldly goddess, it’s only natural for my dick to be hard 24/7. You’re constantly on my mind at all hours of the day, and in my wet dreams--fine—I’ll be more romantic—I’m serious though, I’ve been wanting to marry you as soon as I understood what marriage was. I can’t even describe how happy you make me—I know I tell you all the time but I don’t think that it’s enough. It’ll never be enough. From what I’ve heard from my aunts, uncles and even my parents, marriage can be rough sometimes. Both partners have to put in the same amount of effort to make a marriage work and I get that. But I also think that when you really—truly and genuinely love your person—then you can get over any obstacle. We’ve had many disagreements in the past and we’re both stubborn as hell, but I’d like to think our little disputes and moments spent apart only strengthen the love we have for each other. I wouldn’t want to go through this life with anyone else but you. I’m telling you—God made you for me and me for you and I pray to him every single night, thanking him for giving me the--my greatest blessing. You.”

You were in tears at this point and playfully began to hit at his chest for making you emotional, but each word did wonders to your heart. He was right; he confessed such heartfelt words to you every single day, but each time he did so, it’s as if he grew more and more sentimental as the days went on.

“I’m going to have to get professional assistance in writing my vows; there’s no way I’ll be able to top whatever it is that you have in mind to tell me. You’re already such a poet during intimate times when it’s just you and I alone, what more when we’re in front of all our families and friends, confessing your true feelings for me on the day we finally become one—in a legal sense but technically in a spiritual sense too. Damnit Mark Tuan—I hope you know that I expect you to be sweet like this even when we’re in our eighties and I’m all old, wrinkly and can barely move around without a cane.” He laughed against your shoulder blade and pressed a gentle kiss there while running his hands along your arms.

“Trust me babe, I only get cheesier as I get older. My love grows for you the longer we’re together for. I don’t care if your boobs sag to your knees or if your arm fat sinks to your elbows, I just know you will still be the most beautiful woman I have ever laid my eyes on and I will remind you every single day until my last breath.”

The two of you sat in the tub for half an hour more; helping the other clean up while sharing fleeting kisses, words of love and adoration, cheeky little touches here and there—mainly the cause of your fiancé and just promises for the future. After you both decided it was time to get out, he grabbed your towel and started wiping you down; drying your hair as much as he could before moving on to himself. You put on the clothes he gave you and began your nighttime routine, brushing your teeth and putting on moisturizer before heading back in to your room.

Mark came out not too long after and plugged in the hair dryer; motioning for you to sit on his lap in order to help you dry your hair. He ran his fingers through your wet locks gently as he moved the blow dryer all around, putting it on the lowest setting so it wasn’t too hot against your scalp. It was the little things like this; doing something for you that you could do by yourself in order to help you out and making sure that you were comfortable and relaxed while he was doing it. Small gestures like these only proved his irrevocable love for you.

“Thank you Mark.” He placed a soft kiss on the top of your head before motioning for you to get off of his lap—but he gave you no time to do anything before pulling you tightly against his body and wrapping his arms around your lower back.

“Of course babe. I love doing these things for you. I’m sure I wore you out, so it’s the least I can do. But I genuinely enjoy being able to do such domestic things for you. I love taking care of you, it’s like my second nature. Now, let’s get you to bed—we have to be up early to pick my parents up from the airport tomorrow. I don’t need my dad giving me snarky looks if he sees you limping. They can stay at a hotel y/n—it’s fine. I’ll pay for it. I don’t think they will appreciate hearing the noises we’ll make nor am I willing to give up your pussy for an entire week so—hit me one more time and we’re going another round don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

As the months went by, you and Mark only grew closer and closer if it were even possible. There were the occasional arguments here and there—him leaving the toilet seat up when you would always nag at him to put it down, you leaving your dishes in the sink instead of washing them right after you were done using them, him being a little too loud as he played his video games and you leaving the light on while you were studying in the middle of the night—there were even situations where Mark would sleep on the couch because you refused to sleep in the same bed as him.

Sometimes you would sit and think that maybe you rushed in to the engagement a little too soon; you might have known with your entire soul that Mark Tuan was the man you were going to spend the rest of your life with, but the stress that came from planning a wedding only added fuel to the already intense fire. However, your fiancé was very good with giving up his pride and apologizing first.

Although, if you just so happened to have started the argument or were the cause of why he was angry, then he wouldn’t take the full blame and instead admit where he was wrong in the situation while mentioning what you could do differently too. Mark wasn’t the type to give you flowers to show that he was sorry; flowers were meant for happy, celebratory or intimate moments. Normally after a fight, he would write you a letter and buy you some of your favorite food—one time he even got you a cake that said sorry on it because he was truly sorry.

He would also show how apologetic he was with his head between your thighs; having you pull on his hair as he got you to sing for him with his teeth nibbling on your clit and his tongue lapping up the juices along your folds. It broke your heart whenever he’d question if you still wanted to marry him—but you knew it was a habit of his to feel insecure whenever the two of you would argue.

Almost twelve years of a relationship and your fiancé still questioned his position in your life every now and then. It made you feel as though you weren’t as verbal or physical as you should be with professing your love to him. There was nothing you could really do other than to reassure him that yes—you still wanted to marry him. Even during times where you gave each other the silent treatment or the cold shoulder, you still wanted to marry him.

Arguments, disputes, yelling at each other to the top of your lungs, not being able to look at him because you were so upset—they weren’t going to change the way you felt about Mark. You would rather fight with him than to be happy with someone else. When Mark was in his last semester of college, he received a letter that you were sure could change his life forever.

One day while he was at work, you went to check the mail. Nothing ever really came in other than bills for doctor’s visits, letters from both your parents, postcards from Jinyoung while he was studying abroad in France and care packages from Jaebeom filled with snacks from Korea. However, there was an envelope addressed to him from the major league baseball association.

Automatically, you found yourself running back to your apartment in order to send Mark multiple text messages about what you discovered. He hadn’t text back immediately and you understood it was because he was at work, but you couldn’t contain your excitement. You might not know exactly what was waiting in that envelope—for all you knew it could have just been a regular subscription to a magazine or something but you couldn’t help feeling as if it was something more than that.

You came to the decision that you would clean up around the house to take your mind off of the glee that was building deep inside of your chest. You also felt the need to cook some of Mark’s favorite food just in case there was a need for celebration. Anyone who knew of your fiancé were well aware that he loved baseball. Mark ate, breathed and slept sports; specifically, baseball.

He preferred football, but right after Jackson got a concussion in their sophomore year, you talked him in to dropping the sport in the fear of him getting badly hurt. He dropped all the other sports and focused solely on baseball. Mark was talented, there was no doubt about it. Everything he put his heart in to—he was such a talented baseball player and that alone was an understatement. Not only was he undoubtedly an all-around player; an amazing catcher, pitcher, hitter and shortstop, but he put in extra time and effort perfecting his performance.

If the letter was what you hoped and believed it was, then you were over the moon for him. When he finally arrived to your shared apartment a few minutes after 8, you flung yourself at him and waved the envelope in front of him.

“Open it, open it, open it—“ You pouted against his lips as soon as he connected them with yours but allowed him to deepen the kiss.

“Mark—“

“Hello to you too. I know you’re probably dying to know what the letter says, but I’ve been dying to have you in my arms all day so let me have five minutes to really take you all in and change before we get to opening it okay?”

You released a soft sigh but nodded in agreement before intertwining your fingers together and leading him over to the couch. He sat down and pulled you on top of his lap—wrapping his arms around your waist out of habit and placing a soft kiss against your bare shoulder blade.

“Tell me about your day my love.”

“Well, I finally turned in that paper that was driving me to the brink of insanity and I’m going to sit in agony for the rest of the week waiting for my professor to give me my grade. BamBam called me about going with him and Yugyeom to pick out a gift for his mom’s birthday this weekend, work was work—boring as usual. Then I come home to this letter and now you’re preventing me from getting to read it—“

“Does it really mean that much to you? I think you’re more excited than I am babe—“

“It does and I am. So can I open it?” He laughed at your enthusiasm—you were always so relentless whenever it came to something like this; so Mark was well aware there was no point in trying to prolong the situation.

“Fine, go ahead. I wish you were this enthusiastic about sex—“

“Mark—babe—oh my God—they want you—THE MLB WANTS YOU! Look, look!”

You practically shoved the letter in his face before getting off of his lap and bouncing around like a little kid on Christmas. He was right; it wasn’t even you who was being given the offer, yet here you were, running all around your living room like a maniac.

Watching and supporting him at every single practice and game he attended since the beginning of his high school career—seeing his eyes light up every time he won a game—being nominated as team captain for every sport he played, you were just so happy for him. Whenever something wonderful happened to either of you, the other one just so happened to be just as delighted—this time was no different.

This was something huge—out of the millions of aspiring baseball players you were sure spent just as much time practicing and putting in work in the hopes of becoming a professional baseball player, your boyfriend was one of the lucky ones who was contacted rather than contacting them. That meant they must’ve been watching him his entire baseball career.

His grades were impeccable—it honestly astounded you how he did so well with school while working full time and going to practice for hours on end. Mark was an otherworldly being—there was no way he was human. He was too good to be true. When you took a look at him, he had a blank stare on his handsome face.

Usually you were really good at reading his facial expressions and you could tell what he was feeling by looking at his body movements, but right now—you had no idea what he could be thinking or what he was feeling and it worried you. Maybe this was his way of taking it all in; he wasn’t loud and overbearing the way you were whenever something good happened. He celebrated in silence, it’s just who he was. You made your way in between his legs; bringing one hand in to his hair while cupping his cheek with the other.

“Talk to me babe, what are you thinking?” He looked at you and gave you a soft smile before shrugging.

“I can’t—I can’t believe this. This is so cool—I’ve been wanting this since I was a little kid. I’ve been watching baseball for years and every time the Dodgers had a game, I told my parents that I wanted to be a professional baseball player. Not once in my entire life would I ever have thought I’d be given an offer, this is crazy.”

You smiled at his words; even if he didn’t say anything, you were sure this had to be a big deal to him. He brought his baseball bat with him everywhere when you were kids. He’d also always wear a baseball cap even against your pleas when you’d go on your dates back in middle school. Baseball was in his blood and he was going to be able to have a career that he actually would enjoy.

“So, how are you supposed to accept the offer? Do you call them? Email them? Should we go to the stadium tomorrow—“

“I won’t be accepting the offer.”

Your eyes widened at shock at his sudden revelation. Did he just say he had no intentions on getting back to them? Was he crazy? Being awake for almost 24 hours had to be the reason behind his confession. There was no way he was going to give up such an indescribable opportunity. You were sure if Jackson were to receive the same letter, he’d be jumping at the chance and he would have the same reaction you currently had.

“Mark, you can’t be serious. Maybe you should think about this a little longer. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. This is your dream babe, what if you end up regretting your decision down the line—“

“I’m already living out my dream baby. You are my dream. I’m months—maybe even weeks away from marrying the woman of my dreams. I’m a few months away from graduation and I already have a couple of job offers lined up. Don’t get me wrong, I’m so grateful that they would even consider me and I just know everyone’s going to be disappointed with my decision, but think about it y/n. Training is a solid year, and what if I end up playing for a team outside of California? What if Denver wants me, or Nevada, or Oregon—“

“Then I’ll follow you wherever it is babe. Don’t give up because you’re afraid of us being apart. We’re older now, we’re wiser and we know the sacrifices we have to make in order to be happy together. I will go wherever it is that they want you to go. I don’t care if we end up going somewhere boring like Idaho, I’ll be right there by your side—your number one fan like always; shouting your name and cheering you on from the stands. Don’t worry about me or our future together—I—we’ll be perfectly fine. I just want you to be happy Mark.” He gave you a toothy grin before pulling you back on to his lap and left a peck on your cheek.

“God, I really am the luckiest man in the entire world. You’re so wonderful y/n. I—I love you so fucking much. Thank you—your endless support means everything to me—you—you mean everything to me. But my mind is already made up. I’m thinking about the long run; MLB isn’t the same as college or high school baseball. Contracts get messy—and when we start having kids, what if they have me switching teams and we have to move again? I couldn’t do that to them. What if you get a job in California that you end up loving only to find out that we have to pick up and move again? This isn’t just my future we’re talking about—it’s yours, ours together and our family’s when we finally start having kids. Plus, I don’t want to end up hating the sport of something bad happens. The last eight years have been amazing, but I don’t think I want to be physically overworked anymore. I want to enjoy life—not spend every moment worrying about taking the team to victory. Baseball is extremely competitive; I don’t think I want to put up with all that unnecessary bullshit. I know it’s upsetting to hear, but just know I won’t regret a thing, okay?”

Hearing his explanation as to why he didn’t want to take up the offer made a lot of sense. You couldn’t force him to do something he didn’t want to, especially when he had his many reasons as to why he wouldn’t want to spend another five to ten years being told what to do by coaches who probably couldn’t care less about him other than the money he’d make for them. You hid your face in the crook of his neck; breathing in the scent of his cologne and leaving a few wet kisses against his collarbones. “I support every decision you make. I trust you Mark—I know you’re doing what you think is best for everybody—damnit, I wish you would do something for yourself for once, but maybe this is for you in disguise. Why don’t you go take a quick shower and I’ll make you something to eat?” He hummed contently against your cheek and pulled you down with him on the couch; allowing you to hover over him while placing his hands not so innocently on your butt.

“That would be nice, but let me hold you for a little while please? I wasn’t lying when I said I missed you—“ you playfully shoved his shoulder as your cheeks warmed up hearing how whipped he was for you.

“You saw me this morning clingy—“

“Yeah, but that was this morning. I feel like we hardly ever see each other these days. I can’t wait to finally graduate, we’ll have much more time to spend together. More time in positions like this—with less clothing—or none at all really.”

His laughter made your heart flutter and you found yourself laughing along with him. For someone who was 23-years-old, his laugh was so high pitched—it never seemed to change and that was one thing you were glad about staying the same.

The next few months came and went within a blink of an eye. Nothing really big happened other than attending your fiancé’s last few college baseball games and searching for wedding venue, but like Mark had mentioned before, he wanted the both of you to be ready—free of stress before you finally got married.

On his last day of school, the two of you along with Jackson, BamBam and Yugyeom went out to a bar in celebration of Mark and Jackson’s last few days before heading in to the real world. The three older boys teased you about how they hand plans on taking Mark to a strip club and that’s when you retaliated with the idea that you were going to ban them from the wedding.

It was in times like these—laughing about your past together and remembering all the good memories that seemed so far away now that made you sad about how fast time flies by. Although Mark’s group of friends who were considerably family to you claimed that they would make sure to keep in touch with you and your soon-to be husband. BamBam even hinted towards moving in with the two of you once you were to buy a house to which Mark was quick to shut him down.

This was the fourth graduation of his that you had the honor of attending and just like the last three ones, you found yourself crying tears of joy. Your boyfriend never failed to make you so proud; he always wanted to be the best he could be—even if it meant staying up to study, staying back an extra hour at practice to work on his pitching and taking on extra credit. Mark was a firm believer in regretting the chances he didn’t take, so he made the most of every single endeavor he took on.

When Mark broke the news to his family about not accepting the offer to become a professional baseball player, they weren’t too pleased. They witnessed how much of an amazing athlete your fiancé was, he had to be crazy not to accept something so big like becoming a professional baseball player. However, after Mark explained himself, his family were a little more understanding. Sure, it all sounded good on paper, but then again, what if things didn’t end up the way he assumed that they would?

What if scandals were made up about him or even about you since he would be somewhat in the limelight? A part of him began to grow curious about what could actually happen if he were to sign a contract with the league, but he was sure things could get messy if he were to try and leave before his contract ended.

Unlike Mark’s family, his friends didn’t take the news lightly; especially Jackson. The younger boy was very vocal about how much of a mistake he believed his older friend was making. Ever since the first time they met, both Mark and Jackson had dreams to make it to the big league.

Unfortunately, Jackson focused solely on the athletic aspect and not on his grades, so recruiters immediately decided that he wasn’t who they were looking for, even if he was just as amazing player as Mark was. Your fiancé was patient with Jackson; taking each and every jab, listening to each and every complaint—but he did grow frustrated after a while. What did no one understand about making decisions for other people in your life, not just yourself.

Jackson wasn’t a selfish person—well, he did care about himself quite a bit, but that’s because he worked extremely hard to get to where he was. However, he didn’t have anyone to worry about the way Mark had you. It really didn’t matter to him what anyone had to say anymore, you were supportive of his decision and your opinion was the only one that mattered to him.

“Congratulations baby, I’m so proud of you. You never cease to amaze me you know that?” He gave you his signature award winning smile and allowed you to give him the multiple leis you both made and bought for him before pulling you in for a brief, chaste kiss.

“I mean, you remind me at least three times a day, but I don’t mind hearing you say it again.”

You cupped both of his cheeks with your hands and grazed your thumbs gently just below his eyes. Like always, you and Mark were in your own little worlds, smiling adoringly at one another, holding each other protectively, stealing wet kisses—you both gave no attention to anyone around you. Neither of you knew just how long you stayed like that; just basking happily in the other’s presence, it’s as though you were caught in a trance that none of you could break out of.

If it was your choice, you’d take your fiancé home and order a bunch of his favorite foods in celebration of his huge milestone, but you didn’t want to be rude and have him all to yourself before the rest of his friends and family could come and congratulate him.

“I would tell the two of you to get a room, but there’s really no point. I just know you both are the type to make out in church—freaky asses. You’re getting condoms from me for your wedding gift.”

You playfully shoved Yugyeom and rolled your eyes at the sound of the three other guys bursting out in laughter at his immature comment. Yeah, nothing’s changed at all.

“Wow, we’re all getting old guys. The two oldest of all of us are college graduates and we’re not far behind what the fuck? Time needs to slow the hell down, there’s still so many college parties I have yet to attend.” The five of you continued to stay and talk for a few minutes until Jackson finally came over to join in on all the madness.

“Shit dude, we’re fucking college graduates, can you believe it?”

The two of them did their handshake they’ve been doing from the time they were kids before pulling each other in for a hug. Looking at all five of them, you wish you could freeze this specific moment in time. You remembered how much it sucked when they all went away for college, especially because most of your best high school memories were because of them.

Now you were all going your separate ways again—even if you knew you were all going to stay friends for the long run and that you would make plans to meet each other again every so often, it wouldn’t be the same. You could only hope the next chapter in your life and in Mark’s was going to make up for all the change that you could have done without.

“I still won’t forgive you for not taking on the offer, you could have made it big dude and I could have used you as leverage for getting promotions and shit, but I guess I can see why you said no. Your pussy must be magical y/n—ow!”

“She was just as upset with my decision as you were, but I have another person I have to include in my future plans Jacks, this isn’t just my life or my future we’re talking about. It’s hers too and I’m going to do whatever I can to make her life easier, even if it means making such huge sacrifices that others might not agree with. I don’t mean to get all sappy, but all my decisions that I make are with y/n in mind. What is best for her—for us as a couple. What will keep her safe, happy, healthy—I care about her well-being and her happiness more than I do my own. I hope one day you’ll be able to experience a similar kind of love and then maybe you’ll be able to see why I did what I’m deciding to do.”

You reached for his hand and intertwined your fingers with his; squeezing them ever so softly while bringing his hand up to your lips and placing a soft kiss against his wrist. Hearing Mark explain to you that he did not want to join the MLB because of how difficult it would be having to move around so much and then hearing him tell his friends that he cared about making decisions based on what he felt would benefit you brought you to the brink of tears.

That man really did love you, there was no other explanation for his selflessness. You wanted to feel bad that he gave up such a once in a lifetime opportunity that so many other guys his age would have accepted in a heartbeat specifically because he didn’t want to put you under the stress of being a spouse of a professional athlete—but you knew if you were in Mark’s position, you would have his same mindset. You cared more about him than you did yourself—so you completely recognized the idea that all he really wanted was to have you by his side at all times. What was the point of having your dream job if your dream person was thousands of miles away?

“Well—when you put it like that—nah I still think you’re dumb as hell but that’s only because I know I will never find anyone who could love me even half as much as you and y/n love each other. God made you specifically for the other and I just want to know, GOD WHEN IS IT GOING TO BE MY TURN?”

You all burst out laughing at Jackson’s complaining but you did find his words very heartwarming. It always intrigued you whenever someone would describe your relationship with Mark from their point of view. It’s as though everyone had the same opinion—you were two peas in a pod—best friends who had the amazing honor of becoming lovers and were seemingly so obsessed with each other.

“Okay, let’s get drunk at y/n and Mark’s place so we don’t have to worry about getting kicked out of a bar for falling asleep—“

“Hey, what if y/n and I already had plans? You guys can’t just invite yourselves over without our permission—“

“Oh we all know you’re going to fuck once you get home. You have the rest of your lives to have sex you nymphomaniacs, spend some time with us before we all start settling down and no longer are able to anymore.”

Just like everything else in your life, the time seemed to go by faster than you would have wanted it to. Mark decided to give himself the summer to relax and enjoy the last few moments as a recent college graduate before going on the hunt for a job in engineering.

Some days, you went to look around at wedding venues, flower shops and even catering companies because you were growing more and more serious about speeding up the date of the wedding. You were just so excited to finally marry the love of your life, neither of you seemed to care that you weren’t financially ready to pay for a wedding.

Other days were spent traveling all around New York, making the most of the last few months you had left there. You only had a semester and a half left of college left as although you were going to miss the fast paced and upbeat life in the big city, you were more than happy to finally return back to California.

Most days, Mark stuck on to you like glue; he always needed to be around you—holding you as you swept the floor, prepared lunch, hung the laundry or even as you took a shower, he desired to be in close proximity with you. The two of you hardly ever fought anymore—there was nothing really to argue about; even if there were a few things that he did that would get on your nerves and you knew there were things you did that probably got under his skin, you both learned to completely dismiss whatever it was that bothered you. It wasn’t worth getting mad over.

If something did seem to be the matter, your communication progressed and it was easier now to tell each other when you didn’t like one another’s habits. You ended up transferring to UCLA in your last semester when Mark received an offer in downtown Los Angeles to work at one of the biggest tech companies in the state of California and just the entire country in general. It didn’t bother you to have to transfer on such short notice, there wasn’t much you had to do to send over your information anyway.

Mark felt guilty knowing that you were sacrificing so much in order to be with him; attending college in New York when you could have just stayed with your family while waiting for him to graduate from college—waiting in multiple lines at the cashier’s and registrar’s offices to get the specific documents you needed for your transfer, having to pack up all of yours and Mark’s things in less than a week so that you would be able to fly back to Los Angeles in time for Mark’s orientation at his new job.

Not once did you complain about having to do any of these things for him nor did you ever disclose how exhausted you must have been, but that was just who you were. You did things for the older boy without hesitation because of the eternal love you held for him and because you knew he would have done the same for you in a heartbeat.

Little did you know, your sacrifices would pay off for the not so little surprise he had waiting for you back home. Leaving New York was bittersweet; you have developed fondness over the lively city; the night life was a lot more fun than California’s and it actually snowed—something you were genuinely going to miss.

The flight back went by faster than you expected; although, most of that time was spent with your face hidden in the crook of Mark’s neck as you slept most of the day away, tired from the last bit of packing that you did. Thankfully, Mark took care of everything else, dragging both your luggage and your carry-on along with pulling your lethargic body through the airport.

He also bought you some snacks for the plane ride that obviously went unopened, but you scarfed down as soon as the two of you landed and called yourselves a taxi. You were quick to pick up on the fact that Mark seemed excited about something; he was playing with his fingers as his leg began to jitter—he began taking a look at his phone every so often and you were too busy focusing on his now suspicious demeanor to realize that the driver was taking you down a road that you weren’t quite familiar with. He looked at you with a gentle smile and softly squeezed your hand while placing a soft kiss on your forehead.

“I love you.”

No matter how many times he’s said that four letter word, your entire body would end up in flames every single time. You playfully pinched at his cheek and hid your face in the crook of his neck to hide the fact that his words were making you feel all warm and bubbly inside.

“I love you too.”

When the car came to a halt, that’s when you took a look outside and you furrowed your brows in confusion. Did the driver make a mistake? You were currently in front of a house you’ve never seen before; it was a beautiful house in a nice looking neighborhood, but it was unfamiliar to you. Where were the two of you exactly?

Mark didn’t give you a second to even let out a word—he made his way out of the car to pay the driver and thank him for the ride. He grabbed both your bags and headed towards the house without even looking to see if you were treading right behind him. He quickly opened the gate and continued to make his way to the front door and in the corner of your eye, you saw the names on the mailbox that brought you more curiosity.

“Mr. and Mrs.Tuan.”

“Babe! When did your parent’s get a new house?” He stopped in his tracks once he made his way up the three steps and turned around—sporting the biggest grin on his face.

“They didn’t. We did.”

Your eyes widened in shock at his sudden revelation. Was he serious? This house was yours? But how—when—

“I can feel you overthinking baby. Get over here and I’ll explain everything.”

You were feeling so many different emotions; excitement, confusion, elation—more positive feelings than negative, but you were soon overwhelmed with happiness and the desire to look around.

“This—this is our house?” He nodded happily before reaching for your hands and swinging them back and forth.

“Yeah. This is our house baby. I remember you going in to detail about the house of your dreams many times—there’s two floors, six bedrooms, three bathrooms, a dining room, a backyard and you even have a walk-in closet—“

You jumped on to your fiancé all the while wrapping your arms tightly around his waist and began leaving wet, fleeting kisses all along his jaw and the nape of his neck. He pulled you closer to his body and laughed softly at your multiple reactions.

“Wait, when did you do all of this—how can you afford this Mark? This is a house—I’m sure it costs at least half a million dollars—why—who—I can’t even speak right now—“

The sloppy kiss along with the cheeky squeeze against your butt stopped you from continuing to stutter—you were just that speechless and in awe at the thought of him pulling all kinds of strings in order to purchase the two of you a house.

Not just an ordinary house—the house you’ve been designing in your head and even on paper for longer than Mark could even remember. He placed you down so that he could give you a tour of your new estate and reached for your hand; pulling you in the direction of the kitchen. He was so excited to show you around; it boggled your mind that the place was fully furnished. Every piece of furniture matched so well with the colors of the walls; the fridge and cabinets were stocked with all of your favorite foods and snacks.

The bathrooms had such pretty curtains and towels; engraved with both your initials—it was so much more than you could have ever asked for. As he showed you every single room, you felt tears brim at your eyelids when talked about your future kids and how he purchased this specific house so that they were all going to have their own rooms once the two of you finally got around to expanding your family. You were well aware that the two of you were going to settle down one day soon and start having kids, but knowing that he made decisions based on what would be best for your children—it did wonders on your heart. Your fiancé was really the most considerate and remarkable human being you’ve ever met.

“The room downstairs is the guest room and I made it that way for a reason; BamBam and Yugyeom wouldn’t shut up about getting their own rooms here. I don’t know why I told them about this house; I’m genuinely shocked that they’ve actually kept this a secret from you. But then again, I did promise that I’d put aside a room for them. However, I said room, not rooms. Plus, I don’t want them complaining about not getting any sleep while they’re here—what? Why do you always look at me like that whenever I insinuate that we’re going to have sex? You act like you don’t have fun when we make love—your kinky ass always hints towards sucking my dick almost every day don’t act like you’re innocent. Now, to the last and the best room in the house; our room.”

He motioned for you to open the door all the while biting his lips nervously. The entire house so far was in more or less words perfect beyond belief, but you knew that he wanted this room to be your favorite. Right as you opened the doors, your jaw dropped—you were at a loss for words. The walls were a light blue shade—one of your favorite colors.

There was a queen size bed in the middle of the room and a couch right in front of it. There was a long mirror right next to the closet, two separate desks; one you assumed was yours and the other one being his, a vanity—the same vanity you’ve had your eyes on for months, a few pictures of the two of you scatted all across the walls and a night stand. Your mouth practically dropped to the floor in disbelief—you were still having such a hard time processing the idea that this house belonged to you and your soon-to-be husband.

“Wait baby—before you say anything, go check out the closet.”

You were a wreck at this point; the tears kept falling from your cheeks and Mark’s laughter echoed throughout the room. He’s done so many things for you in the last decade—things that were by far life changing and sometimes hard to wrap your mind around the idea that someone had the ability to love another person the way Mark irrevocably and profusely loved you.

But this—buying the two of you a house at the age of 24-years-old—a house that was one right out of the movies—one that a couple your age with jobs that the two of you had could only fantasize of having—this had to be the best thing he did for you so far and you felt in your chest that it would be hard to top. Once you opened the door to your closet, you gasped at just how spacious it was.

Sometimes you and Mark would watch house renovation shows in your free time and you’ve talked about wanting to have a walk-in closet. He made snide remarks about you having so many clothes that you never even used and how it would be best for you to have a space big enough to put all your clothes so you could actually see what you owned; but you would have never considered it to be this wide. You walked around and smiled slightly at how much of a dream this all felt—but the grip on your hips made it all the more real that you were going to live here.

“So, what do you think?”

You spun around and playfully thumped him on the forehead when he laughed at your emotional state before roughly smashing your lips against his. You were still trying to form the right words to explain exactly how you were feeling and how wonderful your fiancé was to even plan everything on his own. He deepened the kiss—humming contently as he felt you nibble on his tongue while smiling against his lips.

“I can’t even—God Mark—you—you’re so wonderful I can’t even fathom it in to words. I love it—I love it so much—this house is everything I could have wanted in a house and more—It’s perfect—almost as perfect as you—I still can’t believe it holy shit I’m so fucking happy—and I can’t wait to start living here with you—what did you do to get it? Did you sell a kidney or something—“

“You’re such a silly girl you know that? Babe, we all know I’m saving my kidney for you—I would only ever give my kidney to you. Hell, you can have my heart if you needed it—it’s yours anyway. But try not to need it right now, I kind of want to live as long as I possibly can to enjoy life with you. I might as well just tell you everything because you’re probably going crazy thinking about how I went about with this entire thing. I’ve been planning on getting us a house even before I proposed to you. I had to put a down payment of $20,000 which I took from scholarships and what I made at the coffee shop—my parents helped pay for the furniture and I’m currently taking a loan from the bank to pay for the first few months of mortgage until I can find an actual career. I know we were going to get a house sooner or later, but I wanted to surprise you. You’ve sacrificed so much for me—for us to be together. You were back and forth from California and New York—you left your family and everything familiar to you just to be with me. Then you left your last semester at NYU just to follow me back home—you never complained once about any sacrifice you made because of my decisions. You did everything in a heartbeat and I couldn’t come up with a way to show you or even tell you how grateful I am for you and how much you mean the entire world to me. I told you I’d take care of you didn’t I? I know it must be hard for you, so it was the least I could do. There’s so much more you deserve and so much more I want to do for you, but I was hoping a house would suffice for right now. Don’t worry your pretty little head about anything else okay? I’m really glad you like it. I tried to get all the furniture you wanted, but we can go shopping maybe sometime this week if there’s something you want to return or replace—“ You shook your head in disagreement and placed a quick peck on the corner of his mouth while bringing one of your hands up to his hair and running your fingers through his soft, brown locks.

“Everything is perfect—I’m still in shock—really, everything is amazing. Thank you baby—thank you so much. You didn’t have to do this just yet though, I would’ve been content with a studio or a one bedroom apartment until we could actually afford something as amazing as this house—“

“Should I call the bank and tell them to cancel the loan—“

“Don’t you fucking dare Tuan I will end you.” The two of you erupted in laughter at your hostility as he picked you up and threw you on to the bed all but gently.

“I’m kidding baby. I know, I’ve actually thought about doing that—but then I thought about how excited you would have been—how you are right now when you were to actually see the house and I’m happy I decided to go along with purchasing it. Now that we got around to exploring the place, how about you and I break in the bed?”

Normally, you would roll your eyes at his suggestion, but you found yourself flipping your bodies over so that you were hovering on top of his lap. You began to grind your clothed core against his pelvis—earning yourself a breathy groan from the handsome boy as he brought his hands down to your ass.

“Do whatever you want with me Mark—tonight is all about you babe.” The growl that fell from the back of his throat went straight to your pussy and you found yourself biting your lip at the tight feeling in your lower stomach.

“Fuck—I just bought this bed—ah whatever, we can just get another one tomorrow. I’m going to wreck your pretty little cunt babe. If it’s any consolation—I pictured taking you up against every surface in this house after my parents sent me the photos. God y/n, I’m so fucking in love with you—but tonight I’m going to fuck you as if I despise the shit out of you.”

Mark landed a job at one of the most prestigious construction companies in California as a civil engineer. He genuinely enjoyed it; although it wasn’t the easiest job in the world, it paid well and the hours weren’t all too bad. He was also told by his manager that if he were to do well, he could get promoted in less than a year and there were many opportunities for him to become someone prominent in the company.

You were currently in your last semester of college and you were offered a teacher’s assistant position at the elementary school just ten minutes away from your house. You and Mark got to spend more time with each other now that your schedules no longer collided; most of your classes were online and he finished work at around 5 o’clock—so the two of you found yourselves trying out new recipes together that you’d see on the food network, driving all over California—watching movies at the theater, going to the arcade, grocery shopping and all kinds of other fun activities that neither of you used to have the time for.

Both your families would come over for dinner; and it was the first night that your parents came over did your fiancé break the news of the engagement to them. Just like they reacted when they first heard about your relationship back in middle school, they weren’t exactly surprised. You and Mark always made decisions before talking to anyone about your plans, but the two of you were old enough to make choices for yourselves. If your mom was upset, she didn’t show it nor did she say anything until after dinner—but she was genuinely so happy for you and couldn’t stop raving over how excited she was for the two of you to get married.

Your rowdy group of friends; specifically, Jackson and BamBam came over more times than Mark would have wanted them to. You were fine with the guys coming over to visit as much as they felt like, but Mark was very vocal about how he wanted to spend as much alone time with you before you were to settle in to your career and before your family of two turned in to three—four—five—or however many children you both decided on having one day.

“Just say you hate having us over because you can’t fuck with us around. I have no problem with that; free porn, plus y/n is sexy as hell. She gives porn stars a run for their money—“

“You’re banned from ever coming back here again Wang.”  

You and Mark were just about done with wedding arrangements and you didn’t realize just how fast the days were going by. It wasn’t until you and Mark were cuddling in bed one night after you returned home from dinner with your sister did he remind you that your wedding was less than one week away. Since all the planning started over a year ago and you had pretty much everything set—your dress, his tux, your bridesmaid’s dresses, his groomsmen’s suits, a reservation to the hotel you were having your reception at, the cake, the flower pieces, the DJ, the centerpieces and receiving back all of the invitations with an RSVP from every single person you invited, you were both good to go. All you had to really worry about was messing up your makeup because you were positive you’d end up crying an ocean of tears. Literally.

“You’re going to be Mrs.Tuan in less than a week—are you excited? Because I know I am—I can’t wait to see you walk down the aisle looking like the most ethereal goddess to walk this earth. We both know I’m going to cry—so just be ready for that. I can’t believe it’s almost here. I’ve been waiting fifteen years for this moment. I can’t wait to put the ring on your pretty little finger—and I’m even more excited for the honeymoon—“

“Of course you are, horndog. Sometimes I feel as though you’re only with me for the sex.” You giggled at his fake hurt reaction as he put his hand on his chest and gasped in disbelief.

“I’m with you because you’re the love of my life and because I’m so madly in love with you. The sex is just a bonus—an extremely great bonus.”

“You’re insatiable.” He beamed up at you and cupped your cheek in his palm; grazing his thumb right above your brow.

“And you love me for it.”

“I do. I really do.”

As much as you didn’t want the wedding to come just yet because you knew once it did arrive, it would go by so quickly and you just wanted to revel in it as much as you possibly could. The night before your wedding, Mark’s friends begged you to allow them to have a bachelor party to celebrate his last night as an unmarried man—and you actually allowed it.

He deserved to have fun; but under one condition—he had to allow you your fun too. Your sister alongside his two older sisters planned a bachelorette party for you. It was only you, your sister, his sisters and a few of your cousins, but you all had an amazing time. They all snuck you a few drinks here and there, you ate all of your favorite foods and danced along to some of your favorite songs.

They even surprised you with a few male strippers—but it was all in good fun. His sisters made sure to send him a few videos of you enjoying yourself—allowing one of the dancers to give you a lap dance and he would not stop calling all three of you once receiving the photos and videos. He claimed that the guys pulled the same stunt on him—Jackson, against your wishes ordered a few strippers to stop by their hotel room, but Mark did not let any of the strippers near him in fear of upsetting you.

You however, were having a great time knowing that he was probably growing angry with the idea of another man getting so close to you—in proximity that only he should be allowed to. It was selfish of you—but you loved seeing your fiancé get all riled up in jealousy—it was a huge turn on and you were excited for the punishment you knew you’d receive once you were both to return home.

“Y/n.” You looked up at Mark’s sister in curiosity at the sudden call of your name.

“I’m so excited to have you as a sister-in-law. My brother—he really loves you. I think we all knew this day was going to come since the day he came home with the biggest grin on his face, telling us that he made a friend at A+ and that she was such an amazing artist. Then I got to witness how bashful he’d get whenever someone would bring up your name in conversation. He even had me go shopping for rings with him to get a woman’s opinion on what would be the perfect ring. I’m sure a lot of people have told you this already, but the two of you were made for one another. I believe that wholeheartedly. Your love—the love you have for each other—it’s one to be envious of. You’re perfect for one another—the term soulmates isn’t even a good enough word to describe what you and Mark have. I wish you both nothing but happiness, health, wealth and success. Welcome to the family.” You wiped away a stray tear before pulling her in to a hug.

“Thank you Tammy. That’s so sweet of you to say. Your brother means everything to me and I can’t even tell you how much of a positive impact he’s had on my life. I’d be nothing without him. Truly nothing.”

You all continued to celebrate for one more hour until everyone felt that it would be best for you to get some rest before your big day. Your soon-to-be husband had other plans however. Once your sister dropped you off—Mark gave you no time to even put your bag down before he pressed you up against the door.

“Hmmm, someone missed me.” He attacked your neck with sloppy kisses and sucked all but gently right below your ear.

“I did—can’t say the same about you though. What a naughty girl. Did you have a nice time having a half-naked man grind himself against your lap—“

“Don’t act like the victim babe. I have social media too you know. Should’ve told BamBam to block me before uploading videos of you receiving a little dance of your own. Plus, it was your sister’s idea to get strippers. I had no clue that they were coming tonight—“

“I’m sure they came in more than one way with how lethal you look. Whatever—that doesn’t matter, I’m the one who gets to love on this beautiful body of yours. By the way, once I’m done rearranging your guts, I’m calling the both of them and uninviting them.”

He roughly picked you up and threw you over his shoulder; slapping both of your ass cheeks as he made his way to the bedroom. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t gleeful for what was to come. You loved it when Mark would remind you exactly who you belonged to.

“Wait, I know we’ve joked about someone having to push me in a wheel chair down the aisle but I swear to God Mark if I can’t walk tomorrow I’m filing for divorce.” He rolled his eyes at your comment before pinning you down to the bed and reconnecting his lips to your pressure point just above your collarbone.

“Fine—I’ll go easy on you tonight. I can’t say the same about tomorrow night though. Good luck with getting out of bed once during the entire honeymoon. Actually—spending an entire week with you indoors doing nothing but each other sounds perfect—“

“You’re getting papers on Monday.”

“Babe!” You laughed against his lips; he was always so gullible. You let out a soft moan when you felt his hands go in to your blouse as he dragged his nail along the valley of your breast; flicking at one of your nipples before cupping both of your mounds with his hands.

“Fuck it—who cares if you have to be pushed in a wheelchair—I need to ruin you.”

The entire night was spent showing each other just how excited you both were to be finally tying the knot. He spent a lot of time with his face in between your thighs, bringing you to heaven three times before you tapped out from exhaustion. You also rode him to the point where he had to physically lift you off of his cock or he was sure he would cum faster than he would like to.

The next morning, you woke up with a pleasurable pain in your legs, but it wasn’t unbearable. You were surprised when you woke up to an empty bed, but your question of where Mark could have been was soon answered when you smelled what you thought was pancakes coming from the kitchen.

After picking up his discarded shirt from the night before and putting it on, you made your way downstairs to the kitchen and found your fiancé wearing nothing but his boxers. The sight made your cheeks warm. You slowly made your way over to him and placed your chin against his shoulder blade—leaving a kiss there before bringing both hands around his bare abdomen.

“Good morning handsome. That smells good. What’s the special occasion? You never cook—“

“Hey, that’s not true. I cook all the time—“

“Instant ramen doesn’t count Mark.” He scoffed before turning to face you and gave you a peck on your nose.

“I’m going to remember that the next time you ask me to make you ramen. Today is a special day, I’m finally marrying my best friend. I just wanted to give you a glimpse of what married life is going to be like—for the first week. Don’t expect this on a weekly basis though. I know I love you more than life itself and I know I’d do anything you’d ask me to, but I cut the line at cooking.”

You hummed against his chest and held him for a few seconds before he released you from his embrace and asked for you to prepare the table. You both ate in silence; stealing glances from each other every now and then, but you were just basking in the other’s presence. Sometimes, you preferred staying in the peace and quiet with Mark. You were able to appreciate him better that way. Once you both were finished with breakfast, you stole a few kisses and got ready to head over to the hotel.

The entire drive was filled with so much laughter and fleeting kisses every time Mark pulled up to a stop light. It didn’t take too long to arrive and right as you both got out of the car, he lazily wrapped his arms around your lower waist and placed his chin on the top of your head.

“The next time we see each other, we’ll be exchanging our vows and making the most important promise to one another. I’ll see you soon baby. I love you y/n. I love you so much babe.”

With a few more kisses all over your face, he sent you on your way to your sister’s suite. Everyone in the room was so frantic; your mother looked as if she was about to throw up with how she was pacing all over the room.

“There you are! You’re almost twenty minutes late.” You apologized profusely; giving her the excuse that there was traffic, but your mother wasn’t born yesterday.

“You and Mark can go a few minutes without sucking each other’s faces off. Now go change in to your dress so that the makeup artist and hairdresser can start working on you. I think guests are already on their way.” Your sister gave you a knowing look and laughed softly to herself while you took the seat next to her.

“How are you feeling? I’m still having a hard time processing that you’re getting married before me, but we all knew Mark was going to propose sooner rather than later. I’m surprised the two of you didn’t get married right after high school. Everyone and their mother’s know how much the two of you are obsessed with each other and that is an understatement. I’m really happy for you y/n. You may be moments away from becoming a married woman, but you will always be my little sister. Never hesitate to come to me if and whenever you need me okay?”

She let out a giggle when she saw tears brimming at your eyelids and reached over to wipe them away. “If you’re already crying at my words, what more when Mark reads his vows?”

Hair and makeup took less than an hour and you couldn’t stop staring at yourself. You never really thought much about yourself. Sure, you thought you were decent looking, but you knew there were many more beautiful girls in the world you wished you could look like. Mark never let you talk negative about yourself though. The minute you said anything negative about yourself--he’d bring you to a mirror and point out every single thing about you that he loved, which was everything about you. Every freckle, birthmark, dimple, scar, curve--he loved it all.

But right now, you felt so beautiful. Everyone in the room began to cry; Mark’s mom, your mom, your sister and his sisters. They all raved about how gorgeous you looked. However, once you put on the dress, their compliments grew.

“You look like a princess y/n. You’re so pretty. Mark’s definitely going to cry, I’m so excited.”

You laughed at Grace’s comment and thanked everyone before walking over to your mom. Her makeup was ruined at this point, but she didn’t seem to care. She pulled you in to a hug and ran her fingers through your hair.

“Where did the time go? I still remember the day you finally told me about Mark after hiding him from me for months. Now you’re just a few minutes away from marrying him. You look stunning my baby girl; absolutely gorgeous. I’m so, so happy for you and I know you’re in great hands. I trust that Mark will take good care of you. That man loves you, I say that with so much confidence. I’ve seen the way he looks at you and he might not have wanted me to tell you this, but he actually called me up on your junior prom night right after you came home upset and he was sobbing. He begged me to make sure you would take care of yourself and that he was sorry for what he put you through. I know you love him just as much. I’ve never met two people who wholeheartedly belonged to each other the way you and Mark were destined to be together. Just remember, I don’t care that you’re going to be a married woman, you will always be my little girl. If anything ever happens, you can always come running to me baby. But I know Mark’s it for you, so I have nothing to worry about. I love you y/n. More than you will ever know sweetheart. Now, I think it’s time for you to get married. Shall we?”

Your heart felt as if it was going to jump out of your chest. The bridal party made their way down to the third floor and to your surprise, BamBam was waiting right outside the door. “The man of honor has arrived--oh my God--y/n--”

“Hey Bam. You look great!” He smiled bashfully and politely thanked you before looking at you up and down; his jaw dropped but he quickly closed his mouth before grabbing at one of your hands and bringing it up to his lips, placing a soft kiss on the back of it.

“Wow--you look--wow, I’m a fucking genius. I knew this was the dress. You look so beautiful, you could honestly pass off as a Disney princess. Ah, I better stop looking at you or else I won’t hear the end of it from your soon-to-be husband. Now let’s go. As much as I want to say I can’t wait for the two of you to hurry up and get married, I’m fucking starving so the sooner you walk down the aisle, the sooner I get to stuff my face with crab legs and you won’t hear a word from me.”

BamBam could sense your nervousness, but deep down he believed it was more excitement than it was any kind of negative emotion. When you made it down to the chapel, you watched your cousins and Mark’s friends one by one make their way in to the room. You laughed when BamBam lined up next to one of your brothers and linked arms with him.

You heard your dad before you got the chance to see him. There was only two times you’ve ever seen him cry; once at your grandmother’s funeral and the second time during a fight that he had with your mom. Apparently their marriage was on the rocks at that time but you were too young to understand. It came as a shock to you when your sister told you about it when you were eighteen, but they both decided that it would be best for them to take couple’s reconciling classes in order to rekindle their marriage and their marriage only grew stronger after a few months. He released a long sigh before brushing away the many tears running down his face.

“Hi daddy.”

“Hi princess. You look so beautiful. Mark’s a very lucky guy. I still can’t believe my baby is getting married. You know, you’re still so young y/n. Marriage is a huge deal, it can wait--” You gave him a knowing smirk and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek.

“I love him daddy and I know he loves me. I don’t think I can wait much longer to finally be his wife. Don’t worry, this doesn’t change anything. I’m only fifteen minutes away. I’m sure Mark would be fine letting me come and stay with you and mom every so often. I’ll always be daddy’s little girl and you will always be my favorite man.”

“You got that right. Are you ready darlin’?” You beamed up at him and nodded in agreement.

“More than I will ever be.”

“Then let’s do this.”

Watching everyone’s gave avert to you made your heart rate pick up and you didn’t even think that was physically possible. It was already beating a mile a second; but seeing everyone beaming at you while some of your relatives wiped away some tears made it all the more real--you were getting married.

Once your eyes landed on Mark; your breath hitched. He was the handsomest man you have ever laid your eyes on. You’ve known that for years now. You’ve seen him in suit and tie at least seven times, but something about how he looked right now--maybe it was because this was your wedding or because he got a haircut and his hair was pushed back with gel, showcasing even more of his handsome features made your stomach fill up with butterflies.

His eyes began to tear up and you giggled softly as he let the tears fall freely while he watched you walk closer and closer to the altar. The boys were making fun of him; mocking him silently, but you saw tears building up in both Jackson’s and Yugyeom’s eyes. You snickered softly to yourself before returning your attention back to your fiancé. As soon as you made eye contact with him and saw how much love and adoration he held in his eyes, you began to tear up yourself. Before you knew it, you were standing in front of Mark and the pastor. Your dad’s grip on your wrist only tightened and you couldn’t stop the laugh that fell when the older man told him it was time to let you go.

“Take good care of my y/n Mark. I might really like you, but I won’t hesitate to slash your tires if you hurt my baby. Congratulations to the both of you.”

As your dad made his way towards your mom, Mark reached for your hands and intertwined them together with his.

“Hi.” He whispered softly; not taking his eyes off of you at all.

“Hi.”

“You look so beautiful my love. I can’t stop looking at you and I don’t think I will any time soon.” You grazed your thumb against his wrist as a way to calm down your racing heart and to nonverbally hint to him that he needed to stop with his heartfelt words or else you’d end up breaking down in front of everyone. 

“Thank you. You look handsome as always.” 

The two of you were too busy taking each other in to realize that everyone had been waiting for you both--even the pastor. It wasn’t till you heard him cough did you break out of your Mark induced haze.

“Hi there. It seems as though the two of you were off in your own little worlds for a second there but that’s totally fine. I don’t know either of you that well, but I can already tell by this interaction alone that you must have a love for the ages. Now, dearly beloved, we are gathered here to celebrate the union of Mark Yi-En Tuan and y/n y/m/n y/l/n.” 

Everything the pastor was saying seemingly went through one ear and out the other. You and Mark could not stop making silly faces at each other and even if the older man noticed the two of you fooling around, he didn’t say anything. 

“Now, for the vows, who would like to go first?” You looked up at Mark and gave him a knowing smirk.

“I will. Knowing you, you have a speech prepared that I won’t be able to match, so to prevent me from making a big fool out of myself, I volunteer to go first. Mark Tuan, there are not enough words in the English dictionary that can describe what I feel for you. Every moment spent with you--it’s like my entire body is on fire. I don’t know what I did to deserve you--I don’t know what world war I must have fought in my previous life, but I’d do it again and again if it meant having you as my person in every single lifetime. I love you with every breath that I take. I’m happiest when I’m with you. Hell, you’re the main reason for my happiness. There’s a quote--”Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” You and I, our love story is so rare. So special. Sure, there were times where I was afraid we weren’t to make it--but I was so afraid at the thought of losing you. I was going to do anything and everything in my power to make sure you and I stuck together. No matter what life throws at us, you and I are endgame baby. You’re my entire world Mark Tuan. You’ve changed my life in ways that I never thought was possible. You’re my best friend, my soulmate--the only man I have ever loved--sorry dad, you know what I mean.” Everyone, including the pastor laughed at your apology. 

“I’ve loved you for more than half of my life and I plan on loving you for the entirety of it. Even when we’re old and wrinkly, fighting over oatmeal and cream of wheat. I don’t care what happens to us in the future; as long as I have you, I’m set for life. You are all I could ever want and need baby. Thank you for every single thing that you’ve done for me, I will never be able to thank you enough for your many sacrifices and simply just for loving me. But I will spend the rest of my life returning that same love. I love you, I love you, I love you and I’ll never get tired of saying that. Ever.” 

Mark was in tears at the end of your speech--he was practically sobbing at this point and you had to stifle back a laugh for his sake. He was always such an emotional guy, but you loved that about him. You placed kisses on both of his cheeks earning yourself some boos from Jinyoung, Jackson and Yugeyom. He mouthed that he loved you and squeezed both your hands before starting his vows.

“Fifteen years ago, I was at A+, playing dominos with a few of my friends, when I noticed someone sitting in the far back of the cafeteria all by herself. I actually noticed you a few days before approaching you and I’ve never told you this before, but I was afraid that you’d tell me to go away. However, when I finally built the courage to approach you, I was mad at myself for not doing it sooner. You were such a bright, bubbly little girl and I found myself wanting to spend as much time with you as I possibly could. I loved being around you; I loved hearing your contagious laughter and being the reason behind it. Watching the passion you had for drawing; seeing the way your eyes lit up whenever someone complimented your art, it tugged on my heartstrings. Seeing you happy made me happy. I loved you before I even knew what love was. I think the first time I realized that I had more than friendly feelings for you was the day that I tripped and fell on the sidewalk, ultimately scraping my knee and you ran to your teacher, asking for a bandaid and helped me up before patching up my cut. You always did everything for me without a second thought. You moved thousands of miles from California in order to be with me. You’d stay up late no matter how exhausted you were just to talk to me. You missed out on parties, family gatherings and even vacations just to fly up to New York and be with me. I could ask you to do the most insane thing--bungee jump, sky dive, zip line or even to runaway with me and I know you’d do it in a heartbeat. Every time something good happens to me, you’re the first person I want to tell the good news to and if something bad happens, I want to run to you and have you hold me; telling me that everything is going to be okay. You deserve the entire world and so much more y/n and that’s what I plan on giving you. I’d go through hell and back--I’d run to the ends of the earth just to make you smile. I would do anything you’d ask me to, be whoever it is you want me to be, go wherever you want to do. My heart is yours. It’s always been and it always will be. My heartbeat increases whenever we’re together--but when we’re apart, it’s like i’m living but not existing. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me and I know I say this a lot, but I really don’t know what I would do without you. I need you y/n. You’re the reason why I wake up with such a huge grin on my face. You’re the reason for my entire existence. You’re my person and I am yours. Forever yours. I love you y/n, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

You looked around and saw that there was not a dry eye at all in the crowd. Every single person, including those that you’ve never seen show any emotion was teary-eyed. You playfully smacked Mark before wiping away at your tears.

“You asshole. See what I meant. You always had such a way with words, I don’t know why I said anything at all.” He giggled profusely and so did everyone else at your comment.

“Do you Mark take y/n--”

“Yes.”

The pastor giggled at his eagerness, but didn’t correct him before attempting to ask you the same question.

“Okay. Do you y/n take Mark--”

“Yes.”

“Wow, this is the first time in my thirty years of being a pastor that I wasn’t able to finish my speech. The two of you are adorable. I wish you nothing in the best with your marriage and any future endeavors. Well, with the power vested in me, I pronounce you man and wife, you may now kiss the bride.”

Mark wasted no time bringing your face between his hands and smashing his lips against yours. They were salty and wet from the tears, yet the kiss was wonderful nonetheless. He continued to kiss you; ultimately bringing your bottom lip in between his teeth and sucking on it all but gently. As much as you wanted nothing more than to continue kissing your husband, you had to remember that you weren’t alone.

“Mr. and Mrs.Tuan would like to invite you all to the grand ballroom for dinner.” Mark tugged on your hand and led you down the aisle, this time--a newly married woman.

“Mrs.Tuan, I like the sound of that.” You smirked.

“I do too. It has a nice tone to it.” 

 The dinner went off without a hitch. Both BamBam and Jackson gave their best man and man of honor speeches; both making you cry as much as you did laugh. Everyone seemingly had a wonderful time; congratulating you and your husband all the while dancing to the upbeat music that the DJ played ad eating the amazing food the hotel had to offer. 

Mark didn’t even hide the fact that he was turned on with how you looked. He kept commenting on how beautiful you looked, and how he couldn’t wait to take you upstairs and rip your dress off of you. When it was time for the first dance as a married couple, Mark pressed you tightly up against his body and wrapped his arms around you protectively while kissing your cheek and your forehead repeatedly.

“This feels like such a dream. You’re my wife--I will never get over calling you my wife. Nor will I ever get over how ethereal you look right now. God, tonight is genuinely the best night of my entire life. Nothing could ever prepare me for this moment. I hope you had just as a mind blowing day as I did. All I care about is how it was for you.” You stole a kiss from his lips before placing your head against his chest.

“It was perfect. Everything that involves you always turns out perfect. Thank you baby. I will never forget this day or how beautiful and loved you’ve made me feel. Now, as much as I love this dress and how I really want to make the most of tonight, I think it’s time you take it off of me. You’re not the only one who was suffering tonight babe. You look so damn sexy--”

“Yup, we’re going upstairs. I don’t even care if anyone picks up on what we’re going to do. I need you right now. Come on baby, it’s our first time making love as a married couple, we have no time to waste. Fuck, I can’t wait to have my way with you. I need you to know what your vows did to my heart--and my cock,”

Both BamBam and your husband were right; it came as no shock to you less than three weeks after your honeymoon when you found yourself hovering over the toilet, throwing up anything you consumed the night before. You assumed that it might have been food poisoning; Mark had a tendency to leave perishable food out for a while without telling you, so you just assumed that maybe the pasta he bought for you could have been spoiled. However, the nausea and sickness went on for the rest of that week and it only ever happened in the morning.

The two of you relished in your marriage every single day on your honeymoon. The day after your wedding, you headed over to the airport to prepare for your flight to Europe. You and Mark had a hard time deciding on where to spend your honeymoon. He wanted to go to Hawaii, and you wanted to go to Greece. You don’t remember how you both agreed on Italy, but you ended up really liking it.

In the morning, you would explore Italy and all of the beautiful architecture and delicious food the city had to offer. Once you arrived back in to your hotel room, neither of you could keep your hands off of each other. It’s as if getting married only caused the lust you had for each other to grow deeper. You went at it like rabbits--going rounds and rounds and only tapping out when you were both exhausted beyond belief.

You never kept track of your periods before; since you were on birth control, your period was very irregular. It came two to three times a month and then there were months that you didn’t even get your monthly gift. But you realized that it’s been quite some time since Mark went to the store and purchased you pads and a quart of ice cream.

It didn’t take you long to realize that there was a big possibility that you were pregnant. You didn’t want to tell your husband of your suspicions just yet; you didn’t want to get him too excited. Mark has been asking you to try for a baby the entirety of your honeymoon. You were just as excited to start having children as he adamantly was, but you wanted to graduate from college first before taking that huge step in your marriage. Plus, you wanted to enjoy married life even just for a couple of months before getting pregnant.

Pregnancy was a beautiful experience; this you knew was true from what you’ve heard from your mom, Tammy and Mark’s mom, but it was also very tiring, physically and mentally. Your body would change completely in the nine months of your pregnancy and you didn’t want your child to feel the stress you received from college while they were in your belly. You were also afraid of postpartum depression--the last thing you needed was to be afraid of hurting your baby before you could even really get the chance to spend time with them.

When Mark was away at work, you decided to head over to the grocery store and grab a few things; laundry detergent, grilled chicken, shampoo, conditioner, hangers and a couple of pregnancy tests. You ended up purchasing three; wanting to make sure your suspicions were true. A part of you was completely over the moon; sure, you weren’t quite ready to have a baby just yet, but if you were pregnant, you weren’t going to be too upset. In fact, the more Mark brought up starting a family, you found yourself wanting to give in to him.

Once you got home, you placed the groceries on the counter and made your way in to the guest bathroom; not wanting to wait another moment before finding out the news that could soon change your and your husband’s life forever. You peed on all three tests and placed them all on the counter. Waiting three minutes to hear the beep felt like hours. You began pacing back and forth across of the bathroom, wanting nothing more than to hurry up and get the results before you grew impatient. Finally, after a few moments, all three tests sounded off and as soon as you flipped all three over, you covered your mouth out of habit.

All three tests were positive. You were pregnant.

The smile that quickly rose on your face felt so natural. You were going to be a mother and Mark was going to be a father. It was hard to wrap your mind around; there was a fetus growing inside of you. You were going to be responsible for someone else other than your husband and yourself. As much as you were craving to tell Mark of the news, you decided to wait until he got home so you could celebrate together. However, you weren’t sure as to how you should go about with confessing the fact that in less than ten months, a baby that you made out of the intense and passionate love you had for each other would come out in to the world; in to your lives.

Being a very simple person, you placed all three tests on the counter in your bathroom and waited for his reaction to seeing them. Mark came home from work three hours later; you didn’t know what felt longer. Waiting for him to come home, or waiting for the tests to beep. 

“Hey baby. How was your day?” You didn’t want to give anything away, so you just shrugged before placing a soft kiss on his lips.

“It was okay. Better now that you’re here. How was yours?”

“Rough. I don’t really want to talk about it. I’m going to go change and then we can watch a movie or something. Why don’t we order take out? I’m sure you must be tired, so I don’t want you having to worry about anything else.” You nodded at his suggestion and he left a kiss on your forehead before making his way upstairs. You sat down on the couch, patiently waiting for him to finally head in to the bathroom and find the tests. 

After almost ten minutes of sitting in agony, you heard him yell your name and before you could head upstairs, he came running down the steps; almost tripping on the rug. 

“Y/n--baby--is this--are you--” You beamed up at him and nodded vehemently.

“Yes. You and I are going to be parents Mark.” He picked you up and spun you around; it was obvious that he was elated with the news. His excited reaction took a huge weight off of your shoulders, not that you were worried at all. You knew he’d be so joyful hearing that you were pregnant. He began kissing you all over your face; your cheeks, both your eyes, your nose, your chin and finally, your lips.

“Oh my God, I can’t believe it. I’m so excited, me and my favorite person--my person--we’re having a baby. I’m so happy y/n! Shit, nine months though, that seems so far away. I want to meet them now. There’s so much we have to do. We have to start setting up the nursery, we have to call and tell our parents--wait, should we start saving for their college tuition--”

“Mark, we haven’t even started paying our own off. Slow your roll there baby. I know you’re excited, trust me, I was freaking out even when I came to the realization that I might be pregnant. Every time I’d see you with your nieces, I’d always picture how you’d be like with our own kids. You’re already such a wonderful uncle, what more as a father? I’m going to start having to see my gynecologist now and I’m going to warn you, I heard pregnant women can get pretty cranky, but I’ll try my best not to take all my anger and frustration on you.”

He placed one of his hands on the back of your head while running his other one over your stomach. “Ah, there’s a baby in this beautiful tummy of yours. That’s so crazy. I’m sorry babe, I know you’re going to suffer a lot, but don’t you dare for one second think that I’m not going to be here for you. I’m going to do everything you need me to do. You’re hungry for taco bell at 2 in the morning? I’m on it. You have cramps? I’ll make you a heating pad. You have a paper to write but you’re too tired to do it? I got your back. I will attend each and every single appointment that you have. If you think I’m already clingy right now, just wait and see what I’m like now that you’re pregnant. You’ll probably get tired of me, but I don’t care. I’m going to remind you at least ten times a day just how breathtakingly beautiful you are every single day and how thankful I am that you’re carrying our baby in your tummy. I know the process is going to be extremely exhausting and I want you to know that I wish I could carry the burden for you, I hate seeing you in pain. But you’ll never be alone in this you hear me? God, I’m so, so excited. I love you so much y/n. I don’t think I could ever tell you in words just how much. Words will never be enough. I can’t wait to start this journey with you. This is only the beginning for us baby.”

5 Years Later

“We’re home! Zachary? Mark? Babe where are you?”

You waddled in to your house with your eldest daughter Mia skipping blissfully right in front of you. The two of you had just returned from her parent teacher conference and to your surprise; it actually went really well—not that you expected otherwise.

The first thing she wanted to do as soon as her teacher told her that she was one of the top 3 students in her class, was to tell her daddy of the good news. From the time she was born, she and your husband were magnets; two peas in a pod.

It was obvious with the way Mark spoiled her even before you gave birth to her that she was going to be a daddy’s girl. You knew that she loved you—but it wasn’t as much as she loved Mark. She always chose her daddy in almost every situation; whether it was choosing between what you and Mark wanted to eat for dinner, who was the one to take her to the store, who picked her outfits for school and if you couldn’t agree on a movie, she would go with Mark’s choice.

When you received the notice that parent teacher conferences were coming up, you and Mark playfully argued over who was going to go with Mia. As much as you felt like the two of you should have gone together, one of you had to stay home to take care of your two-year-old son Zachary.

To your delight; Zachary was the definition of a mommy’s boy. In fact, he wasn’t too big a fan of Mark just yet. It did bother your husband seeing as how he wanted Zachary to be his little mini me—all he really desired as a father was to get him involved in sports and to have the young boy play some video games with him once he was able to hold the xbox controller with both hands—but the adorable little toddler refused any kind of affection from his dad nor did he let Mark do anything for him.

You joked around that it was because he saw the way Mark always had to have his hands on you and he took it as his dad trying to harm you or cause trouble towards you. Zachary was extremely protective and territorial whenever it came to you—it was a trait he took from your husband other than being a carbon copy of Mark. Knowing that Mark and Mia got along better, you used that as your excuse to force him to go, but then he counteracted with wanting to bond with your son and attempt to get the little boy to like him.

“Daddy, Zach—where are you guys?”

You placed your bag and keys on the counter and right as you were going to try and call out both their names one more time, Zachary came running naked in to the living room with a bunch of bubbles in his hair from which you assumed was shampoo and the sight made you giggle softly to yourself.

“Hi momma.” You looked down at him with a look of curiosity on your face but you were trying your best to stifle back a laugh.

“Hello my love. Why are you naked? and where’s your daddy—“

“Zach! Get back here bud, you’re not done with your bath—oh—hi—when did you guys get home?”

Mark’s clothes were soaking wet and he didn’t look too happy. He didn’t have to say anything; you knew he must have been helping Zach in the bathtub but the little boy was probably giving him a hard time.

“Mommy, please help me. Daddy doesn’t know what he’s doing—he didn’t put bubbles in the bathtub and he didn’t bring in my sea animals like you always do. He’s so boring mommy.”

You tried your best to lean down to his level; there was an obstruction making it hard for you to move around as much these days, but it wasn’t anything you weren’t used to. You placed a soft kiss on his cute little cheek before cupping his face in between your hands.

“Why don’t you go back in to the bathtub and mommy will be right up okay? I just have to talk to daddy and then I’ll go grab everything you need. How does that sound?” He gave you the most adorable toothless grin before carefully making his way back in to the bathroom. Mark walked over to where you were standing with his head down and shoulders slumped in embarrassment.

“How are you so good at this? That boy worships you and never stops talking about you. I mean—I know I do the exact same so I don’t blame him—but it’s like he hates me. I suck at being a father.”

He pulled you in to his embrace and placed a few kisses on your lips while hiding his face in the crook of your neck. You brought one hand in to his hair; running your fingers through his soft locks ever so gently and bringing your other hand up to his neck in attempts to comfort him. Mark was an extremely sensitive guy; which just so happened to be one of his characteristics that you loved the most about him.

Seeing him cry or show any kind of emotional reaction just proved that he cared and that he had a heart of gold. However, you never thought you would see him so shook up over the thought of his son not liking him.

As a parent, it had to be disheartening to think that one of your children couldn’t care less about you, but you didn’t want it bothering him completely. He’s told you on multiple occasions that he felt as if he was a terrible father and that he didn’t know what else to do to get the little boy to like him—he felt defeated. You made it a habit to remind him on a daily basis that he had to be the best father in the entire world and that both your kids were very lucky to be blessed with him as their dad.

“Hey, you’re doing the best that you can—that’s all that matters. Don’t say things like that—you know that’s not true. You’re the most amazing father and an even more amazing husband—you’re nothing short of perfect Mark. He’ll come around sooner or later baby. We have another one coming out here pretty soon—so maybe things will change once the third baby arrives. I know you’re extremely happy that it’s a girl this time.” He nodded rapidly against your neck before lowering his hands down to your butt and playfully squeezing both cheeks.

“Hmmm, I can’t wait till our second little princess arrives. I miss holding you without this basketball of a baby bump in the way. I also think it’s my turn to be inside of you again, it’s been so long—ouch! What? I’m being serious y/n, I miss making love to you so badly I don’t understand why we can’t—we did many times with your last two pregnancies. Your gynecologist did say that sex is good for the baby—you know what? I think you better go help Zachary before I go against your wishes and take you up against this counter as payback for all these bruises you’ve given me.”

His words sent electricity through your veins. It was true—you told Mark that you didn’t want to be intimate when you reached the end of your second trimester only because you didn’t want to put your baby at risk. This might have been your third pregnancy and you felt confident in the way you handled yourself—but your doctor informed the two of you that your baby was growing in a different way; he told you to be extra careful with how you took care of yourself this time around or else you could be having a c-section when it was time for you to give birth.

Your husband did not take the news lightly; he tried his best to get you to reconsider but then again—he didn’t want to put you nor the baby in a dangerous situation. It wasn’t only the sex that he missed—although, he loved feeling your walls wrap tightly around him and hearing you chant his name like a mantra never failed to drive him to the brink of insanity. He felt as though he did a great job professing his love for you while burying himself balls deep inside of your pussy.

It was also the best stress reliever to come home to after a long day at work—but he was just going to have to be content with fleeting kisses and cuddling until you were completely healed from your pregnancy. He just missed being able to do the things you used to do together that you were no longer able to do since you weren’t physically able to do so.

He missed sitting in between your lap while he played video games, he missed going hiking and swimming with you, he missed getting to do all these fun activities together with you. He just missed you. If you were being honest, it wasn’t only your husband who was suffering though; you craved him—feeling his body pressed up against yours, having him hide his face against your neck while reaching his high—you missed being one with him to the point where you tried to talk yourself in to letting him have his way with you.

You were currently seven and a half months pregnant with your third child and you honestly couldn’t be more happier. Settling down with the man of your dreams—the love of your life—your person, and starting a family one day was all you could ever want for yourself from the time that you were a little girl. Not too long after you first had Mia, Mark practically begged you to start having more kids as soon as possible.

You’d be lying if you said parenthood was easy—it was exhausting and sometimes you felt as though you weren’t cut out to be a mother. There were many sleepless nights for both you and your husband—days where she would cry and neither of you knew the reason. Breastfeeding her wasn’t all that easy either—especially when her teeth began to come in and you both were so scared of hurting her while burping her after she drank milk.

However, you and your husband got the hang of things after a couple of months of the same routine and a lot of advice from both your families. When Zachary was born over two years ago, raising him was a breeze. He also was an easier baby to take care of; he didn’t cry as much as Mia did. All he ever really did was eat, sleep and poop. Now that Mia knew that she was having a younger sister—she was very vocal about helping you and Mark take care of her after you were to take her home from the hospital.

Sometimes you felt as if everything was too good to be true. Not only did you have the most wonderful husband who you were so lucky to have in your life for over twenty years now, but you had the most adorable, caring, creative and crazy little kids who were both very smart for their ages. There were nights where you would look at Mark in adoration while he slept and constantly thanked the higher power that brought the two of you together.

Your life in more or less words was perfect—you couldn’t ask for anything better. You were afraid that one day, you would wake up and see that this was all just a dream—a figment of your imagination. Some dream life that you made up because your reality wasn’t what you wanted it to be—but the more you looked at both your children and at Mark—spending time with them no matter what it was that the four of you were doing, it only made things all the more real. This was your life and you weren’t going to take it for granted.

“Keep your hands to yourself horndog oh—and I’d watch it if I were you. Mia is a very intelligent little girl. I’m sure she’s old enough to understand how babies are made. I can’t even count on my fingers how many times the kids have almost walked in on us having sex. I promise, once Sophia is born, I’m all yours and I will make up for having you wait so long. By the way, our munchkin has something she wants to show you.”

There were times where you and Mark could get lost in your own little worlds and completely forget about your surroundings. It was extremely irresponsible of the two of you and you were both trying to work on it—but that just showed how obsessed you were with each other. Sometimes you would be in the middle of making out in the kitchen and you’d feel a tug against your skirt—breaking you both out of your steamy moment.

“Don’t get me wrong, I love our children with every fiber of my being, but they are the biggest cockblockers—“

“Hey, they’re the product of our love and your failure to keep it in your pants. I don’t blame you though—I’m a sight for sore eyes if I do say so myself.” He playfully rolled his eyes at your sarcasm and stole a quick kiss from the corner of your mouth while walking towards Mia.

“That’s the understatement of the year. You’re so fucking sexy—especially while you’re pregnant. You’re completely lethal. Come on y/n, what about a blow job at least—you’re killing me here. You know, I don’t say this as much as I should, but I just want to say thank you. Actually, I could never thank you enough for blessing me with the most wonderful family and the most beautiful kids. I know I say this a lot—I’ve said it many times in the last two decades but I mean it and I will always mean it for the rest of our lives. You and I were made for each other. We’re way passed soulmates baby—the term soulmates isn’t even enough to describe what you and I are.”

The tears were slowly building up in your eyes and you weren’t exactly sure how he was going to go about with his speech, but if you were already such a mess after only a few sentences, what more when he finished telling you everything he wanted to say? It reminded of you of your bachelorette party when his sister told you the same exact thing and you could feel his words having the same effect on your heart as Tammy’s did at the time.

“I know—we’ve hit a couple of bumps in the road in the duration of our relationship and we went through situations where life wasn’t all that good to us. There were so many things that changed in my life—going away for college—giving up my career in sports to focus on our relationship—having to switch jobs because my first one wasn’t giving me the benefits and pay that they claimed they would; that they said I deserved—I went through so many changes but you were the only thing that stayed constant. People say that home is a house—a roof above your head with windows, doors, bedrooms, bathrooms and a kitchen. I didn’t realize it until I was older and left for college—but a home is so much more than that. A home can be a pair of the most beautiful eyes—arms that make me feel so safe and so loved—a body—such a breathtakingly beautiful and extremely fucking sexy body—kisses that are so addictive—like my own personal drug. I genuinely believe that home is where the heart is—my home is wherever you are. Wait no—you are my home y/n. You’re the only thing that I want to stay the same in my life. It was always you—and it’s always going to be you baby. I meant it on the night I proposed to you—I meant it in my vows and I mean it right now. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me—well, other than our babies, but you—God I was never able to give you a genuine explanation to how much I love you and I don’t think I will ever be able to form the right words that would describe even half of what I feel for you. But I love you—with every breath I take—every beat of my heart—every kiss that we share—every time we relish in our love together—you’ve had my heart from the day you allowed me to take a look at your art. Something so near and dear to you—something you never allowed anyone, not even your family to see. But you let me without hesitation. I can’t wait to see what the future holds for our growing family—which I want ten kids at the least so we better keep popping them out one after the other. Spending the rest of my life with you is all I could ever wish to do.”

You began to playfully punch his chest while the tears streamed down your cheeks and the sobs fell from the back of your throat. When the two of you were younger, Mark wasn’t as much of a man with words as he was with actions. Sure, he never went a day without telling you that he loved you. Even on the days that you two would get in to an argument, he never let you go to sleep without telling you those three magical words. But he preferred to show you that he loved you rather than to say it.

Anyone could tell you that they loved you—but only people who genuinely love you would go through great lengths to show it. However—these days, it seems as though he’s been making you cry on purpose by confessing to you all these heartfelt messages. It didn’t take a lot for you to cry—especially because your hormones were all over the place right now—and every time Mark would explain in detail what you meant to him and how he would be nothing without you—it always elicited tears and ugly crying noises. He always laughed though; he loved seeing the affect his words had on you.

“Shithead. You know what speeches like that do to me. God—I—I love you. That’s all I’m going to say. There’s no point in trying to top your confession. I don’t think it’s even possible. You outshined me on our wedding day and I didn’t even want to read my vows after how beautiful and fervent yours were. But I love you Mark Tuan—I love you—I love you—I love you. You’re my best friend and the owner of my heart. I would go through hell and back for you. You mean the entire world and more to me. Thank you for loving me baby. Thank you for being you. I don’t know what World War I must have fought in my past life—but I would do it again and again if it meant being the lucky person who loves you and is loved by you in each and every single lifetime. Being your wife and the mother of your children is the best job in the world. Damnit you ass, I didn’t want to cry at all today. You know what—I need to have you in any way I possibly can—if you’re a good boy, I’ll suck you dry after we tuck the kids in. Mia baby—show daddy what you got from school so I can go help Zach. I can’t wait to see your reaction.”

He beamed at your offer and let out a muffled moan—but his expression was quick to change once you brought up seeing his reaction. He looked at you in curiosity but you just kept quiet while leaning closer in to his chest. Mia went to grab her backpack and took a seat on the hardwood floor. She had a soft smile on her face; obviously delighted with whatever she was going to show Mark. Once she pulled out the item you were referring to however, she looked at her dad worriedly—in fear of a negative reaction.

“A teddy bear—and some—flowers? Who gave you that? I didn’t know teachers gave away gifts like those—“

“It wasn’t her teacher.” The smirk on your face didn’t make your husband feel all too good. In fact, it gave him an idea of who it could have been from and he immediately clenched his jaw before shaking his head in aggravation.

“Nope. No way. No. Mia baby, you’re going to go back to school tomorrow and give this back to whoever was brave enough to give it to you in the first place.”

Seeing your daughter frown because of Mark’s response tugged on your heartstrings and you were quick to pinch at his bicep in annoyance; earning yourself a piercing glare. “Mark—“

“Let me guess—someone has a crush on our princess. It doesn’t surprise me, I always knew she was going to break some hearts one day, but not this soon. She’s only five y/n—“

“Hey! I was five when I met you. I was also five when I started having feelings for you. I think it’s adorable babe. I’ve seen them interact—Ethan genuinely seems to care about her. It reminds me so much of you and I. Come on Mark—don’t be such a hard ass. I’m sure my dad reacted the same exact way when he found out about you, but that didn’t stop us did it?”

He whined before looking back and forth between you and Mia. You were right—in most situations you were always right and he accepted it. But as of right now, he wanted nothing more than for you to be wrong. You and your daughter looked at each other menacingly—both of you began to pout at him—something you knew would get him to give in. Being Mark’s weaknesses had to be one of the only traits you had in common with Mia. You used it against your husband on multiple occasions and it always worked because he was never able to tell either of you no.

“Mark—she likes him too. Remember how people used to tell the two of us that we had no idea what love was? That we were too young to start dating? Now look at us—we weren’t even old enough to cross the street without an adult let alone start a relationship, but we have a love for the ages. If my parents or even your parents were to tell us back then that we weren’t able to be together—do you really think we would be living out our lives the way we are now?” He shook his head in disagreement before releasing a frustrated sigh.

“No. But y/n, she’s my baby girl. It’s different. I know how young boys are—I was one. I didn’t start having those kind of thoughts of you until we were both in high school—but we weren’t necessarily all that innocent back in middle school. I didn’t even know what sex was but I knew that it wasn’t normal for my penis to get hard whenever we would make out. I don’t want anyone taking advantage of or hurting my baby. I don’t care what happens to me—I’d do anything for you and for our children. Even if that means spending my life behind bars. It actually scares me to think of the lengths I’m willing to go in order to protect you all but I honestly wouldn’t change it for anything in the world.”

No matter how many times you’ve witnessed Mark get all soft for your daughter, it always sent so much warmth to your heart hearing and seeing how much he loved that little girl. As a father, seeing your daughter start taking interest in boys was likely to make your skin crawl. You were sure that even when Mia were to enter her twenties and even her thirties, Mark would have this same reaction. He just didn’t want her growing up so fast so soon. Parents weren’t supposed to have favorites—and it didn’t matter how many kids the two of you ended up having together; Mia was his first baby and she would always have a special place in his heart.

“Fine—whatever. I give up! You win! You always win because I can never say no to you. I want to meet this boy tomorrow. I’ll take Mia to school. I want his name, address, date of birth—“

“Mark—“

“Social security number, blood type—“

“Mark—“

“Both his parent’s names, where they work—“

“Mark Yi-En Tuan, I know I just confessed my love for you—but I am willing to take back my words—“

“You wouldn’t dare. You’re stuck with me forever you beautiful pain in my ass. I get it—you and I started our love story very at a very young age, but that doesn’t mean I approve of our children doing the same. I’ll think about it—if Mia’s happy, I guess I’ll have to learn to accept it. But don’t think I’m going to let this slide—I’m adding this on to you owing me orally which—you promised to blow me off once the kids go to sleep tonight so get that cute little butt of yours in the bathroom and help Zach with his bath so you can finally help me with the problem you caused in my pants.”

This earned your husband a lighthearted eye roll and a not so gentle shove against his rib cage. Right as he was going to retaliate, Mia came running over to the two of you and motioned for Mark to pick her up. He lifted her up without a struggle; like she was as light as a feather and placed a soft kiss on her cheek.

“Daddy, my teacher says I’m one of the top three students in her class!” He beamed at her excitement before spinning her around in elation—your daughter’s laughter filled the kitchen as she gently hit at his chest to put her down.

“Good job baby girl! I’m so proud of you! You’re such a smart kid, you get that from daddy—ow! You get your sassiness and abuse from your mom. Why don’t you and I go get some ice cream as a reward? Don’t worry babe—I won’t forget to get you some. Since you ended up eating almost all of mine the last time, I’ll purchase an entire quart for you this time—Mia let’s get out of here before daddy faces any more of mommy’s wrath and not in the way that I would prefer.” Mark pulled you against his chest and placed a couple of sloppy kisses on your mouth before picking up your daughter and walking towards the door.

“Hey daddy, mommy said to ask you about how the two of you met.”

A smile crept on your face as you heard of her question and began to hastily walk down the hall. Mia was still kind of young to understand the concept of love and relationships—but then again, so were you when you met Mark. Love had no age.

She began to ask you questions in the car about how old you were when you were introduced to her father and you took that opportunity to have Mark explain it for you. You honestly didn’t know how to bring the subject up to her without having her asking why it was wrong for her to like someone at her age. Since Mark was the one who didn’t seem all too fond of the idea—you were going to make it his responsibility to tell her of your love story.

“Oh—um—well, you see—your mom and I—we met back in—well—uh—babe, did you maybe want to help me out with this?” Your laughter echoed throughout the hallway at the nervous intonation in his voice. It was obvious he too had no idea how to go about responding to such a difficult question and the thought made you chuckle.

“That’s all you my love. I need to go help Zachary. Good luck! Drive safely and don’t come back without my ice cream! I love you!”

[marvelousell]

The Agreement (Part 13.)

Pairing(s): frat boy!fwb!Tom x reader, frat boy!Harrison x reader

Summary: Tom is a typical frat boy, his love for partying, drinks and girls are bigger than his ego. Y/N is a whole different dimension, she keeps her circle small, and even though she knows her best friend Tom is a total douche, she can’t say no to the little deal that was sealed between the two of them.

Word count: 2.9k

A/N: Sooo much things, there were actually more scenes for this part but I split it for another chapter so I could start with the ideas for the 2 different endings🤷🏼‍♀️ (kinda already know what I will do for Tom🤫). Well hope you enjoy it and have a wonderful Friday! ❤️

Warnings: mentions of smut, swearing, mentions of alcohol, angst if you squint

Add yourself to my tag list || Masterlist

< Previous Part

I broke the rules way before we even set them and before we agreed on anything.

Tom stared at the message you sent, shocked, his mouth dry with a breath stuck in his throat from the words that you have written. He couldn’t bring his fingers to the screen to text you back.

He didn’t know what to think or say to you in return, thinking that maybe it’s the best to ignore it. Happiness filled his body, heart pounding fast from the thought that you felt the same. Once he didn’t care if a girl had a boyfriend, it in fact grew his confidence and ego knowing that girls were more into him than their own partners. Now it didn’t seem right even if he was in love with you and wanted to actually be the person he truly is with a girl he genuinely likes.

The message haunted him, not letting him rest. His figure was turning in bed, groaning from the nervousness that kept his body and mind awake this late. Tom was always a calm guy sleeping peacefully every night, he didn’t care about the heartbreaks and tears he caused to many girls. He now knew how it felt, the thoughts about numerous girls and his blindness made him feel sick to his stomach. If only he wasn’t stuck in his own world, surrounded with the influence from his frat members and a heartbreak from a girl in who he saw everything, things would be fine nowadays. What should he do now? Apologize to every girl to make it better so he could sleep calmly at night? Probably not because most of them didn’t want to see him. They were always loud and clear that he was a total ass.

“What are you doing?” Tom asked, looking at the redhead that was getting a bit too comfortable in his bed after the long and rough sex they had.

“Going to sleep?” She responded, clutching the sheets to her chest.

“I don’t think so love.” He breathed out a chuckle, grabbing his boxers that were discharged near his chair.

“What?” She did know who Tom was and what people talked about him and his frat, but she still didn’t want to believe it hoping she would maybe be the one to blow his mind.

“Grab your things and go home.” Tom’s cold voice sent chills down her spine, he was into this a few minutes ago what happened now?

“Are you being serious right now?”

“Did I stutter? Here are your clothes, get dressed and go. What part don’t you understand?” He threw the clothes on her, her eyes fixed on his face. She could literally kill him with her stare in that moment.

“You’re such a fucking asshole. I thought you liked me.” Her movements were fast, she was ashamed, the feeling of being used disgusted her. How could he be so cold?

“Liked you? Love, things don’t go like this. What made you think you were special Mckenna?” Tom slipped into his bed, tired from the sex and the alcohol in his system.

“It’s Mikaela and fuck off. People are really right about you, you’re an egocentric prick that thinks he could have anyone he wants. One day you will realize that the world doesn’t revolve around you and that using girls is going to cost you but it will be too late.”

“I got you tonight didn’t I?” Tom joked and laughed at her words, making Mikaela more furious and sad. She just remained silent, realizing that he was to stupid to get what she was saying.

“Hey, just be quiet my frat mates are sleeping or something and you can also lock the door when you leave.” The only answer he got was a loud bang that roared in his room, the door almost breaking as she slammed it.

That words got to his brain now. She was definitely right it was too late.

Tom wasn’t the only one that was unable to sleep that night. You were on Harrison’s chest nestled close to him, eyes closed but you didn’t sleep at all like he thought you were. Your chest tightened after the realization that you won’t get a text back from Tom. Maybe you screwed everything up now? Maybe you should have been happy that he was back into your life as a friend and leave it there, you already had someone that fulfilled your dreams. It was just a maybe.

Harrison was the third person awake. He had his arm around you, so happy to know that things were fine between the two of you. Somehow a little feeling didn’t let him close his eyes. He was focused on your breathing and your arms that hugged him tightly like you were afraid he will escape. Everything about you made him feel content and calm. You were his safe place and the love you gave him made him feel like a whole new person. Harrison loved you, he really did but he couldn’t comprehend why Emily occupied his mind tonight. He tried to convince himself it was only because he didn’t saw her in a long time and the conversation, you and everything was too much for him in one night. You could hear him exhaling, dropping his palm to your hair caressing it gently. A small smile formed on your lips, knowing that after all he was there for you and you should be there for him too.

It was 2 in the morning and both you and Harrison almost drifted to sleep, but the sounds of receiving a message made you wide awake again. Your heartbeat sped up just from the thought of Tom, and Harrison’s stopped right at that moment not knowing from who it was. It was his phone, his movements were slow because he didn’t want to wake you up. Disappointment replaced the excitement but curiosity was eating you alive mostly. Who was texting him that late at night? She was the only one that you could think of and when you heard him laughing quietly you couldn’t stay still anymore in the same position. Both Tom and Harrison were making you confused. It was hard to choose what you needed in your life.

-

“Good morning to you too. Did someone steal your morning coffee?”

“Hilarious Anna, look at me I’m crying from laughter.”

“Why so sour today? You know your little neighbour Emma is trying with a lemonade stand? She needs some more lemons there you could definitely help her.” Anna joked, waiting for your mouth to curve into a smile after her stupid joke but unfortunately nothing changed, your mouth still set in a hard line.

“I didn’t sleep well.” You replied in a monotone voice.

“Troubles in paradise?” She questioned, raising her eyebrows waiting for you to say anything related to Harrison or Tom.

“You could say so.”

“Come on Y/N what happened.”

“I honestly don’t know where to begin.” You were exhausted, still worried about your and Harrison’s message. Emily was a gorgeous girl, maybe some feelings were still there? You were angry just from the slightest thought of that, yet you had strong feelings for his best friend. It was selfish, not fair at all, you knew that but you did love him just like you love Tom.

“Kinda worried about Emily.” You leaned your back on the tree you were under, observing the group of students outside.

“What did he say that night?”

“That I misunderstood everything. That they were just talking and sorting things out, that it never crossed his mind to do anything and that I’m the one for him.” Your voice calm, soft towards the end as you remembered his words from that night. Harrison was a treasure, of course you were worried, anyone would love to share a life with him and you would too only if the old feelings weren’t a stupid obstacle.

“Sounds like Harrison. He is the most truthful guy I know. If you ask me nothing to worry about here, you both are doing wonderful.” “And looks like Tom is doing wonderful as well over there.” Anna chuckled, clapping her hands moving her gaze from Tom to you trying to catch your reaction.

Tom and Evelyn? Evelyn as Evelyn from History? How did that happen?

Evelyn was an introverted, stunning girl with an even more beautiful personality. She was a total opposite from the girls that Tom brought to his frat and interacted with on a daily basis. You were glad that he didn’t go for the same, tedious girls, however you couldn’t ignore the knots in your stomach as well as the heart stumbling over its own rhythm when you saw them together. You were jealous and downhearted that he didn’t acknowledge your message and the truth about your feelings.

Anna could see how your jaw tensed from the sight, how your forehead puckered when you saw both of them laughing. Anna didn’t know about them, it was a first and just like you she was once angry to see him change girls every single day not because she was in love with him but because she knew that he was a good guy, because this life isn’t what he wanted.

It was a secret. A stupid thing that happened between them during a summer ending party. They agreed to never tell anyone. Anna would never forgive herself if you found out, especially from someone else so it stayed unsaid. Both of them were shit-faced, laying on the ground laughing uncontrollably.

“We’re probably going to be here until tomorrow.” Tom laughed, knowing that they were too drunk to move a muscle.

“Yeah and I’m stuck with your annoying ass here.” Anna said jokingly, feeling his body getting close to hers.

“My annoying ass? I am extremely interesting if I can add that.” He tried not to stare at his best friend’s tits that looked amazing tonight, but it was like his eyes were glued onto them. Typical Tom.

“Yes? How should I know that?” Anna could feel his eyes on her, she was never into him and she never will be, but alcohol was messing with her head at that moment.

“Should I show you then?” Her body stiffened and before she nodded he pressed his lips on hers while his hands slipped underneath her skirt.

Nothing happened more than kissing and touching and she was glad that they both passed out from the tiredness and amount of alcohol they drank. But still she was feeling stupid because that happened and because he ignored her afterwards. Anna was feeling stupid because the thought of doing something with a boy you loved was eating her alive.

“At least it’s a lovely girl now.” Anna tried to get a reaction out of you, you still looked at him like he was the most wonderful thing you saw. It was the same look he gave you at Amelia’s birthday. She was against you having something with Tom only because you were a soft-hearted girl, a great friend and you deserved someone like Harrison that cared about his partner, not a one time thing. But now she wasn’t sure if you both needed to suffer like that, however she didn’t want to say anything because you didn’t fully open your heart to her.

“Good for him.” You mumbled, bringing your eyes back to the book that was untouched ever since you came here.

-

Harrison didn’t know why or how he agreed on a quick coffee in the coffee shop down the road. If he was honest, the message from that night was a total surprise, he hoped to not hear anything from Emily that soon.

Sorry if I got you in a sticky situation. -Emily

Harrison wasn’t that guy to sleep next to his loved one and text an ex one. He never was and never will be, however he couldn’t explain what was happening at that moment feeling like a complete dumbass. Just like he couldn’t explain the coffee he was supposed to have with Emily. Maybe he just wanted to sort their thing out and finish it forever today.

“Thank you for coming, you know.” Emily almost stuttered, feeling like a teenager again on her first date.

Her breath hitched in her lungs, she was over him right? This was a normal reaction after not seeing him for a long period of time. Emily couldn’t believe she would ever see those eyes and curls after they split that night. Many bitter words were said and so much tears were shed that she thought he wouldn’t even look at her after it in the future if they ever meet somewhere.

“No problem.” He gave her a polite smile before sitting down.

“Got you your usual latte hope you still like it.” Emily missed those days that would start with latte and toast. Everything came back to her at that moment. She didn’t know if it was the smile or his beautiful voice that made it harder to speak.

“Thank you, but I’m an Irish type of guy now.” He added, the scent of the latte in front of him bringing him back to his last flat and mornings that would be full of lazy kisses and snuggles. He didn’t want to remember any of it, he had great mornings now, even better than the previous ones.

“O-Oh sorry didn’t know that.” Harrison just nodded, not knowing what to say.

The silence was awkward, they could feel the thick tension in the air, but neither of them started a conversation. Harrison could see her mouth twitching, it was a thing that happened to Emily when she was nervous. He couldn’t help but smile as he remembered the first time laughing together at that action.

“I’m s-sorry if this is awkward for you after all those years, shouldn’t called you especially now because you have a girlfriend, someone could misinterpret it.” Emily began, still without an answer if he asked why she called him. She didn’t know, but she just needed to see him.

“Emily it’s fine honestly.” Was it thought?

“No. It’s not. I’m sorry for what I put you through. I was stupid okay? Yes I still had feelings for Anthony I thought about him a lot and the marriage? God that was a breaking point for me. You showered me with so much love and attention hoping everything will be all right between us but I fucked it all up.” The tears pooled in her eyes, a lump in her throat was forming making it almost impossible to finish her sentence.

“Just wanted to let you know that you really made me happy in our relationship even if I didn’t show you sometimes and that I figured it out a little bit to late. Just want to know that you forgave me. Nothing else.” She added, avoiding his gaze that would just make it worse for her.

“I already did Emily. A long time ago.” He admitted, his voice soft, eyes on her hair that was once long. Harrison felt his stomach drop after he realized that he was admiring her, remembering every inch of her body and her habits. He didn’t want to feel like this, he had you.

“Don’t cry now please.” His arm extended, reaching out for hers. It was a habit, like a reflex movement.

“I’m so glad you’re happy now.”

For the first time Harrison didn’t confirm that. Yes, he knew deep inside that he indeed was happy but he couldn’t figure it out why he couldn’t say that to her.

“I hope she didn’t misunderstood that evening at the party.”

“Don’t worry.”

They both shared some small talks, giggles and the now cold coffee. It felt good, the reunion both warmed up their hearts like nothing stopped between them. You would cross his mind every now and then, making him anxious. He questioned himself what he was doing or why is he here with a girl that broke his heart and didn’t let him have a loving relationship? He really did, but somehow the thoughts would vanish and he would continue to enjoy his time with Emily.

“We should repeat this. I mean only if you want. As friends of course.” Emily was beaming, heart beating rapidly because of the scent of his cologne and the genuine smile that was plastered upon his face.

“Sure.”

Harrison watched her leave while he sat in his car trying to understand what was happening, and why he said yes for the second time. God he had you, how unfair would it be to treat you like this after you gave him a new chance for love. He didn’t do anything, but he knew that the insecurity would definitely bug him if you agreed on something like this. It was now Harrison’s turn to think about this and see what to do.

-

Tag List

@averyfosterthoughts @timey-wimey-lovi @thurstyforholland @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @rachaeldonnaspiteri1 @peterparker-rickybowen-mybabies @sweetestscape @quacksonhq @stuckyyrogers @kaylinfayezink @tomhollandthing @stardustom @hannahholland1811 @yoinkyourheart @magicwithaknife @quaksonhehe @fanficscuziranout @runway-to-my-aid @definitely-not-black-cat @got-to-get-away @littlebookbengal @primadonnasdream @readheadwriter @ifntelyinspirit @juliebean247 @hes-amarillo @danicarosaline @lukesbabylon @lulueliott24 @tomshufflepuff @sandtopearl @peteysbaby @lukeys-giggle @supernaturalwriter24 @synonymforlame @goodnight-n-dayglow @theoretical-theo @melrosaeparker @wheelertozier @wholeheartedlymendes @crystalizedcrows @youaremyfiveever @lost-in-the-stars03 @xoxohollands @hazardosterfield @soberbecks

[anywhozits]

All I Really Want Chapter 8

Rating: M

Pairing: Hansanna now / Kristanna eventuallyyy

Verse: 90s High School AU / frozen retelling

Chapter Summary: Anna still celebrates her 15th birthday.

Notes: Thank you for reading!! Warnings in this chapter include profane conversations and underage drinking.

READ ON AO3 HERE

“Surprise!” A chorus of voices echoed through the entryway of the Larsen’s Newport Peninsula beach house.

Hans flipped the light switch and several grinning faces beamed back; hands raised in an excited stupor.

“Happy birthday, Anna!” The chorus echoed.

Anna’s eyes lit up as she scanned the crowd—all her best friends were there. Kristoff, of course. Sven, Olaf, Ryder, Ashley, Bebe.

They’d hung a banner, somewhat shoddily painted by the likes of probably Kristoff, and the gesture made tears prickle in Anna’s eyes.

Hans threw a hand over her shoulders and kissed the top of her head. “Thought you deserved a rager, too.”

Anna laughed, tears still prickling. The fact that he thought she deserved anything…

And then she turned her head and saw Elsa, cheeks still red from her tipsiness, and Anna lost it into quiet sobs. “Thank you, guys!” She could barely choke this out.

“Ashley and Bebe arranged the whole drink situation and I think that’s in the kitchen? If we all wanted to do a round.” Hans’s hand had floated down distinctly to Anna’s ass. Her cheeks burned.

When she noticed that Kristoff had narrowed his eyes at the pair of them, she bit her lip nervously.

Was Hans right?

No? No. Nonono. Forget this, Anna. Forget. It.

And she did.

Music started blasting from who the hell knew where, but it was Pony by Ginuwine which meant this was officially a rager, and Anna was already so drunk she felt a little wobbly. But she was also super excited for this shot.

Because there were so many people who loved her and it was her birthday and she spent the first bit with her parents and Elsa and now all her friends…

Whew. Deep Breaths.

The emotions overwhelmed her again and she felt the tears flowing, but she trudged into the kitchen anyway.

Kristoff had beaten them there by a mile and already poured all the Don Julio shots into tiny red plastic cups, handing them out with a smile and a wink (to Anna at least).

“Anna, happy birthday,” he said, smiling, raising his plastic cup.

Her heart fluttered a little and she just knew her cheeks had turned a deeper shade of crimson.

“Anna, hi! God, it feels like I haven’t seen you in five-ever.”

Anna giggled. “Hi, Olaf.” Her eyes narrowed when she saw her friend holding one of the shot glasses. Olaf said he didn’t want to drink until college. Good on him, she thought. Knowing the massive hangover, she would have tomorrow made her think Olaf had a sixth sense. “What are you drinking?”

“Red bull.”

She laughed heartily at that one. “Red Bull? I’m gonna have to send you on a run along the beach to get all that energy out.”

“I’m great!” He exclaimed way too excitedly.

“Okayyy, attention, attention!” Sven cupped his hand over his mouth to give himself a little extra volume over the beats of Pony. “Anna is 15! And happy surprise party to her – tonight, we drink. Thanks to Hans for arranging this little shindig. Thanks to us for getting the party started. Are we ready?”

Everybody cheered.

“Then without further ado… arriba, abajo, al centro, al dentro.”

Ashley and Bebe had naturally forgotten the salt and the limes and literally any chaser other than red bull, so Sven was met with many horrified coughs. But at least now the job was done.

Anna jumped up and down. She thought the tequila hit her instantly. “Hot tub?!”

“Beers to go!” Hans opened the fridge and started chucking Coronas to everyone as the ran out to the front yard.

It was completely pitch black already. Nobody could see anything but the eternal blackness of the boardwalk, the sand, and the ocean. Even the BBQ area and the hot tub were hard to discern. Still, soon enough everybody shed their clothes and hopped in, realizing a little too late that the hot tub was not, in fact, hot and instead actually somewhat cold. But they were too tipsy to care.

They were all squeezed in – Elsa and Anna next to each other, with Hans to Anna’s right and Ryder to Elsa’s left. The rest had filed in wherever they saw fit.

“Hey, uh—Elsa. I hear you’re going to Pomona?” Ryder asked in an especially friendly manner.

“Yes. I’m doing a pre-college program now to get in the swing of things.”

“Ah. Rad.”

“Mmhmm,” Elsa nodded while sipping her beer.

“My sister’s going there too!”

“Really?”

“Yeah—her name’s Honeymaren. She’s cool. I bet she’d love to know somebody before starting, if you’re—if you’re cool with that, I can hook you up.”

Elsa blushed. “Hook me up?”

“Yeah, you know—put you in contact, whatever—so you’ve got a friend before you start.”

She bit her lip. “Oh, sure.”

Then he laughed. “Ohhh you thought I meant hook you up hook you up. Nah. Didn’t mean it like that. And anyway, I don’t know what the whole dude sitch is there, but I’m sure you two could find that whole shebang out together.”

“Yeah,” she swallowed. “Maybe.” And then let out a long breath.

“Let’s play a game, let’s play a game!” Olaf chanted.

“Yes, yes, yes!” Anna squealed. She loved games. “Okay! Which game?”

“Ten Fingers!” Bebe yelled a little too loudly. She was at least two shots in. “You put out ten fingers and then someone says, like, never have I ever… given head or whatever and if you’ve done it you’ve gotta drink so everyone knows you’ve done it!”

“I’ll go first,” Hans smirked, snaking his arm around Anna once again. “Never have I ever flown coach.”

Elsa, Anna, and Kristoff were visibly the only ones who didn’t drink.

Kristoff next. He narrowed his eyes, furrowed his brow, and then spoke, “Never have I ever flown. In a plane. Ever.”

Drinks all around, and Sven immediately had a response ready, “Never have I ever done drugs, other than weed.”

Hans was the only one who drank anything.

“Interesting,” Sven said.

“Never have I ever been drunk!” Olaf exclaims, his go-to answer for this kind of game.

Groaning in unison, they all polished off a bit more of their beers.

“Never have I ever watched porn,” Bebe said with resolve. “I want some real dirt.”

Anna, Elsa, and Ashley and the boys minus Olaf took proud sips of their beers.

“WHAT?! You’re telling me girls watch porn? The hell?” Ryder can’t shake his confusion.

“Um, duh,” Anna rolled her eyes. “We’re not another species.”

“Never have I ever…” Ashley gulped, unsure where to take this. “Blacked out.”

Anna’s jaw dropped. “Really?”

“Really.”

“Huh.” Anna drank her beer, frowning when she realized it was empty. “Aww. All gone.”

“I’ll get some more,” Hans murmured. “This game’s lame anyway.”

Anna rolled her eyes. “You’re only saying that because you’re losing or … winning—which is it?”

“Winning,” Hans said as he climbed out of the hot tub and turned away.

“I can help you carry stuff!” Olaf ran after him.

“Okay. My turn,” Ryder bit his lip. “Um. Never have I ever been in a band.”

“You suck,” Kristoff whined.

“Yeah, Ryder. Go to hell.” Sven flipped him off.

Elsa, next, rubbing her hands together nervously, eternally unsure. “Never have I ever…eaten a hamburger?”

“Shit, really?” Sven was more than taken aback.

Elsa nodded, prompting everyone to drink even more. Anna grabbed Elsa’s beer and took a couple gulps from it.

Aaaand okay. Now—officially—all of the alcohol hit Anna. The world kind of … actually very noticeably so started spinning.

“Laaaaame,” she said, her words starting to slur a little bit. “We’ve gotta kick it uppa nosh, hmm? Never… have I ever… had sex in a forest.”

Nobody drank.

“Hmmm… nobody? Nah one body? Nah any one of you? Okay.”

Kristoff scooted closer to Anna and puffed out his chest. “Never have I ever had sex on the beach.”

Anna took Kristoff’s beer this time and stared deeply into his eyes while she drank sip after sip. Again, nobody else drank.

Then Sven. “Never had I ever had sex in the car.”

Anna deliberately sipped on the beer again.

“Never have I ever had sex in a hot tub!”

Anna laughed maniacally and took several long gulps of the beer. “Nah this one though! I… swear!”

“Good,” Bebe replied, scrunching up her nose. “Well, um. Never have I ever had sex.”

Anna took an uninspired sip. Not dramatic when they knew all the other places she and Hans had explored… but when she looked around and noticed not a single soul except… was that Elsa drinking?

No way. Elsa?! She’d have to debrief this later, like. Majorly.

But, seriously? Nobody else? Like... shit.

Why had they taken it so far with all those random spots, then? Almost like... they were baiting her or something.

And besides… more than anything, it surprised her. Anna thought most everyone had done it. At least, she hadn’t considered herself particularly early, really. But if Ashley hadn’t done it, despite Hans making it seem like they’d hooked up before, then Anna was beyond confused. Crisis mode. Because if they hadn’t and in general if Ashley-the-17-year-old hadn’t… then oh freaking snap maybe she was early. Not that she regretted it, but. It still felt weird to be one of the only ones. She didn’t want to feel like a slut or something. Shit.

Yeah. Okay—she was a slut. Anna Larsen, the slut. Shitshitshitshit.

Except, there was that one silver lining.

Elsa drank, too.

No wonder she gave such good advice about doing it for the first time.

Ashley shrugged. “Never have I ever kissed a girl.”

But Anna could think of nothing but the word slut on repeat so she couldn’t begin to comprehend who drank to that one.

Slut. Slutslutslut. Slut. Anna’s a slut. Anna Larsen’s a slut. Slutslutslut.

But… at least she was winning the game? Right?

Yeah. When Anna looked down at her hands, she realized she was crazy close to officially sealing the deal of her win.

Or did winning this game make her more of a slut?

This was hopeless. Might as well embrace it. She had no regrets.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Anna proudly showed off her right hand. “I only have wwwww-one finger left!” And then, all of a sudden, she remembered the most important, juicy detail of the night. So Anna backtracked, leaning over to her sister. “Wait. El…sa. You had sex? Why di’it you tell me?” She had tried to whisper but in her drunken state had abysmal volume control.

“You saw me drink?”

“Mmhmm.”

“You didn’t… did you see me drink for any other ones?”

“Mmm, couple. But I dun care about those. Lass I saw for drink wash the sexy time one and I wanna know the story! Story time, story time!”

“I don’t want to tell the story, Anna. And it’s … it’s not exactly what you think. It’s different, but… I’m not ready to talk to you about this, okay? I... I wouldn’t have answered it if I were sober.”

“You sure soun sober, sisser.” Anna took her index finger and jammed it into Elsa’s chest bone. Her cerulean eyes looked glossy and lost. And then she jutted out her bottom lip. “Come on, tell me!”

“Another day, okay?”

She huffed and blew a piece of wet red hair out from her face. “Fine,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest, grumbling, “Beee that way. Another day, wha-evah.”

Elsa bit her lip. “Hey, you know what?”

“Whuh?”

“I think I need to eat my words about Hans.”

“Yeah?!” Anna’s eyes lit up and she squealed. Not a slut, not a slut.

“Yeah. He’s… he seems like a good guy. He put in a lot of effort for you today. I can’t believe he talked to mom and dad, I mean—that’s a huge effort in and of itself.”

Anna giggled and nodded. “Huuuge.”

“So, anyway, he’s—"

“I got more drinks!” Hans called from the sliding glass door. Olaf bounded in after him. “Would’ve been back sooner had Olaf not talked my ear off about everything he loves about Anna.”

Olaf shrugged. “Wanted to make sure you know how special she is.” And then he hopped back into the hot tub.

“Awww,” Anna cooed, giving Hans a sloppy kiss on the lips as he handed her the drink. “Thanks babe.”

“No prob.” His eyes became half lidded and he didn’t let go of her face, bringing her in for another kiss, even sloppier this time, definitely with tongue. One hand trailed down her body and onto her thigh—her upper thigh, and he squeezed her skin. Anna shivered and kissed him deeper.

Fuck it. Slut or not a slut she was happiest here, like this. With Hans.

“Um. Dudes? Game’s not over.” Ryder tried to wave his hand in their peripheral vision, but all four eyes were decidedly closed.

“Earth to Anna? Earth to Hans?” Sven had started full-blown yelling, and at the same time Kristoff had retreated to his shell, his eyes also closed for some reason.

Anna giggled. “Hah—earth. Thassfunny, Ashley.”

“Um. It’s Sven. I’m Sven.”

“Oh-kay, yeahhh. Sure, you are, Ashley. Thassa good one too. I didin know you were so fuuunny!” Hans’s hand squeezed her thigh again. “Should we finish the game?”

“I think, maybe…” Elsa looked around, trying to garner support from her sister’s friends. “We can just say you won?”

Anna giggled and pumped a fist into the air. “Yeah! Cool! Go me!”

“I’m gonna get you some water.”

“Thanks, sisser,” Anna said, yawning. “Soo… whadda we do now? Ooh! I know! Go… I wanna go… swimming!”

Before anybody could stop her, Anna raced out of the hot tub and then to the beach.

Kristoff chased after her.

“Anna, Anna, wait wait wait wait!”

She spun around so quickly that her body couldn’t take it and she fell dramatically onto the sand with a huge plop. “Oof,” she exhaled before cracking up.

He dashed to her side, sliding with ease on the sand, somehow, and making sure she was okay.

Then, he reached out one hand and touched her protectively on her shoulder. She shivered at the touch, smiling when she noted how soft and kind his brown eyes were in the moonlight.

“I wanna go…schwimming.”

“In the ocean?”

“Mmhmm.”

“Are you… are you sure that’s a good idea?”

“Mmhmm.”

“I don’t want you to get hurt. I want you to be safe.”

“You…wan me to be safe?”

“Yeah, I—I do.”

Anna thought back to what Hans had said earlier. About Kristoff being pathetic and all that—it wasn’t true. Anna knew it couldn’t be true, but… she wanted to tread those waters maybe a little more than she wanted to wade out into the actual ocean. “Because you looooove me?” Okay, there it was. Out.

A palpable silence overcame them both.

And then Anna leaned back so her head rested on his chest. Kristoff hesitated initially, but then steadily draped his arm around her shoulders.

Still silent.

In a flash, something happened, a penny dropped maybe, and Kristoff tensed up completely.

Okay, so ... either Hans was right, or ... he was completely, utterly wrong and Anna just made a complete fool of herself. Great. Excellent. Wonder-freaking-ful!

Anna couldn’t let this silence go on for any longer. She whispered, “Like a sisser.”

And then he sighed, “Yeah.”

Ha! See, Hans? Her not-boyfriend was so frigging wrong.  Kristoff loved her like a sister. Not... whatever.

But then why did Anna suddenly feel so disappointed?

“You my bessfrien,” she sighed into his chest. “Thank you fo keeping me safe.”

He didn’t say anything else, just held onto her tighter.

Until.

“Anna!”

Hans’s voice.

“Anna! You didn’t actually go swimming did, you?”

Anna laughed and tried to stand back up but had much difficulty, swaying so heavily that Kristoff came to her aid. “No!”

“Come on, let’s go to bed.”

“To bed? Oooh.” She tried to strut toward him, but her stumbling created a real fall-risk. Hans rushed to help her, shooing Kristoff away in the process.

Within seconds Hans’s mouth was on hers again, like in the hot tub, to the same graphic degree. All Anna could think was yes. She was so happy. He planned the most perfect birthday she’d ever had in her life and now she was here kissing him. Yes—happy. Perfect. Best birthday she could ever wish for.

All thanks to Hans.

Kristoff visibly grimaced and tried to push past the couple. He grumpily uttered, “Goodnight,” but this word made Anna perk back up.

“Kris?” How had she forgotten he was here? Dumb shit, Anna. Drunk or not. Kristoff continued to trudge away from the couple, but a very determined Anna clumsily sprinted to catch him. “Sorry bout dat. Um—thank oo for tonight. I… is been a guh-reat birthday.”

He stopped the second she caught up to him and let out a sigh. “You’re welcome, Anna.” His eyes darted to Hans quickly. “Are you… I know you’re—are you good to, um, be with him tonight? I meant what I said earlier—I want you to be safe. I want to make sure you’re safe.”

Anna nodded and said, “Thanks, bessfren. I’m great—safe! Happy and in loooove.” She smiled blissfully and impulsively got up on her tiptoes to plant a kiss on his right cheek. “Goodnight, Kris!”

His eyes grew to the size of saucers and his cheeks flushed red.

“Good…good morning! I mean night. It’s night. Um—goodnight. Goodnight, Anna.”

But by the time he finished speaking, Anna was already back with Hans, kissing him fervently, and paying Kristoff no mind.

[larryfanficwriter98]

Chapter Eighteen

*Fake It Until You Make It Real*

This took forever because I kept coming back on whether to publish or not due to the somewhat debatable parenting that happens in here. I just think this particular Harry as a doctor and as someone who is compensating for a horrible mother may be a bit too honest with his daughter but also have a good reason to be so here it is.

Harry woke in the middle of the night in a dark room disoriented as he looked at Louis who directed his head to Maddie standing beside the bed for too innocently.

"Yes Maddie?" Harry asked rubbing his face tiredly.

"Daddy I've thought about and I've decided I want a baby sister. I already have a brother with Freddie now, so I want a sister. I had a dream about it." Louis started laughing behind him and Harry just groaned burying his face into the pillow.

"Okay baby. I'll try my best." Harry mumbled.

"You better daddy because I don't want another brother. If I have a sister, I can help LouLou dress her up and I can stay home some days with her since LouLou won't work."

"Sounds good." Harry said, "wait what."

"Maddison sweetheart when I said you can come talk to me any time, I didn't actually think you would make three AM our deep conversation time." Louis said pushing himself to sit up and look at her, "also I will still work, not right away, but I will."

"But my mom doesn't work, and you'll be a mommy."

"I'm already a mommy. I've got Freddie."

"Yes, but daddy is the breadwinner." Harry burst out laughing, his shoulders shaking as Louis pinched his side, "you can stay home and be a stay-at-home mom and live off my Daddy’s paycheck like my mom does." Harry tried really hard to cover his laughter but by the pinching and twisting at his side he knew he failed.

"I'm not anything like your mother sweetie. I actually like to work; I went to university for a reason not to sit around. Also, she doesn’t live off his paycheck, she lives off his child support check and trust me she won’t be living off it for long. Once that new amount hits her, she’ll be living off Daniel’s paycheck."

"But who will watch the baby?"

"Maddie is now really the time to have this conversation. We haven't even had this conversation yet." Harry said looking over at Maddison, "Louis isn't pregnant and won't be pregnant for at least a year. We have time to discuss this and when he is pregnant, we will still have nine months to talk it over."

"But I have so many questions daddy. Like how are babies even made? How does a whole baby get crested inside a person? It's crazy."

"A baby is created when a person who can carry a baby ovulates which means the ovaries releases a mature egg carrying an x chromosome. A man's sperm will enter a tube and it will have a race with all of the other sperms and it will fertilize the egg which over a nine-month process will create a baby." Harry said sleepily making Louis stare wide eyed at him though he didn't notice.

"How does the sperm get inside the tube?"

"Well technically after sex the race begins and all the sperms race towards the tube to the egg though most of the sperm doesn't make it very far."

"Is sex the only way to have a baby?"

"No there are many different ways however sex is the more traditional way."

"It sounds gross."

"Okay. Anything else?"

"Yes. How fast is your sperm?"

"Please don't ever ask me that question ever again."

"But I'm curious."

"I don't care we're not discussing my sperm speed. It's inappropriate, meaning it's not proper conversation to have with you. Now please go to bed."

"But I have more questions."

"Why?"

"Does Louis have a vagina like mom?"

"No. He has a penis."

"Well then does it go inside of him? How does the baby come out?"

"It doesn't go inside of him sweetie it stays where it is. They cut him open and pull the baby out of his stomach."

"THEY CUT HIM OPEN?!"

"Yes."

"And he lives!?"

"Obviously. I cut people open all the time Maddie."

"Wait so will you cut him open when he has a baby?"

"Not unless it's an emergency."

"Oh okay. Goodnight daddy. Goodnight LouLou. Goodnight future baby sister."

"G'night." Harry mumbled turning his head away as the door closed behind her.

"What the fuck just happened." Louis asked, "did you just- did she- she really ask about sperm?"

"Just go to sleep."

"I can't your daughter asked about sperm and penises and vaginas. Is this normal?!"

"Yes, now go to sleep." Harry pleaded pulling the pillow over his head.

"I can't go to sleep Harry.  You just told her how babies are made...medically correct terms and everything. She's a bit young don't you think?" Harry pushed himself up on his elbows and looks at Louis frowning.

"What do you mean?"

"She's five."

"Yeah and? She asked a medical question, so I gave her a medically correct age-appropriate answer. What's wrong with that?"

"Teaching her medically correct terms for her body is one thing but talking about sex at her age-"

"I didn't talk about sex I talked about the creation of a baby. I didn't tell her a man puts his penis into a person's vagina or anus and ejaculates into it. I told her sperm and eggs create a baby." Harry defended pushing himself to his knees to look at Louis sitting back against the headboard.

"Which is inappropriate. She asked about your sperm."

"Which I shot down immediately. I told her it was inappropriate, reminded her what that meant, and she didn't ask again. It's not like I encouraged her to ask. Granted I should have maybe told her before she asked not to ask such specific questions but she's five. She's going to ask questions. I'm not seeing the big deal here. Yes, her questions were a little inappropriate at times, but it's better to explain it than to have her clueless."

"There are better ways to tell her how babies are made. More age-appropriate ways."

"More conservative and untruthful ways you mean."

"Untruthful? How is saying that babies are made when two people love each other and have special connection to one another untruthful?"

"Because it's a lie."

"It is not a lie. It is an age appropriate-"

"Lie. It is a lie. Do you know how many rape victims I have to tell they're pregnant to in a year?"

"That's different-"

"It is not they still have a baby and I promise you they did not love whoever it was that did that to them. When she is older, I want her to know she can talk to me about anything either it be questions about sex or questions about menstrual cycles or hell even discharge. Whatever it is no matter how weird and uncomfortable it may be, it is my responsibility to make sure she knows everything she needs to know. I'm not going to tell her these pretty little lies."

"When she's older you can better explain it, but no five-year-old should know about sperm and eggs and sex in general." Harry rubbed his hands over his face then looked at Louis again.

"Look I see where you are coming from, I really do, but I feel like being completely honest with your child is the best way to prepare them for this world. The world is going to shit, women can't even go to the bar alone Louis, I have to prepare her for that. I'm going to hope and pray to whatever I can that the world changes for the better, but in case it doesn't she needs to know she can talk to me, talk to us openly without fear of lies or half-truths. In a perfect world babies are made out of love, but they're not. I wasn't. You think my dad loved my mom? If he loved her, he wouldn't have done what he did. Maybe a small part of him at some point, but in the end the only thing he cared about was getting his pants off somewhere regularly. Maddie wasn't even made out of love. Freddie even? Can you honestly tell me Freddie was made out of love on both sides?" Louis folded his arms and looked away from Harry pressing his lips together. Harry watched him for a moment then ran a hand through his hair and looked at the clock noticing it was half past three.

"A little white lie doesn't hurt every now and again."

"So would you tell me a little white lie?" Harry challenged.

"What? No? No not between us Harry I meant-"

"To kids. To kids who trust us impeccably. Who believe every word we tell them until they learn something new, they use us as examples for future use. If we lie about small things, then they won't talk to us in the future about big things. You won't lie to me, your partner, your equal, but you'll lie to a child who doesn't comprehend the danger a stranger can do in five seconds?"

"That is not what I meant."

"There is literally no other way to take it. That is exactly what you were going to say one way or another. Little white lies to equals is bad but to kids it's perfectly fine."

"In certain circumstances at certain ages yes I think it's fine. Like the sex talk can wait until she's older."

"I didn't give her the sex talk." Louis rolled his eyes and threw the duvet off his legs as he got out of bed, "where are you going?"

"I don't know a guest room maybe. Just away." Louis said taking his pillow and walking around the bed.

"You're leaving? Because I told my daughter about sperm?"

"No, I'm leaving because you won't even consider that maybe perhaps what you told her was entirely too inappropriate." Louis argued.

"Because it wasn't."

"See you won't even consider it."

"And you won't consider that it wasn’t, but you don't see me grabbing a pillow and leaving the room." Harry countered.

"Goodnight Harry." Louis said before he was stepping out of the bedroom closing the door behind him.

Harry sat there for a few moments completely shocked and confused before he just ignored it and got out of bed. He knew trying to sleep was a lost cause so instead he took a long shower and got ready for work then headed downstairs to make himself some breakfast. After a quick egg sandwich, he made both kids and Louis their lunches since he had time to spare then headed upstairs and checked on both kids seeing them fast asleep. He kissed them both then headed to a few guest rooms checking in them until he found Louis'.

"Lou." Harry whispered stepping up to the bed, Louis had his back to him and was cuddled under the duvet, but he was awake, "Louis."

"What?"

"I have to go to work. I made lunches for you and the kids." Harry hesitated before he carefully climbed in behind Louis wrapping his arm around his waist, "I'll see you when I get home."

"K."

"Oh, come on anything can happen to me or you on the way to work today at least pretend to miss me."

"Don't pull that."

"I'm not pulling anything Louis it just so happens that I work in a hospital where I see car accidents daily. The most common sentence out of their partners mouths is we fought today. So...just drive safe alright? I'll see you when I get home." Harry pressed a kiss to Louis' forehead and cheek then left the room with nothing but a simple 'yeah you too' from Louis. One more kiss to the kids then he was leaving the house and getting into his car driving off.

**

Louis got back to house ready to bury himself for a few hours only to enter the house to not only his family, but also Harry's family there. He and possibly Harry had completely forgotten their families were coming up for their weekend wedding shopping and planning trip. The kids were excitedly though yelling for their respective grandmothers and running to them.

"You look like you had an early morning." Anne teased.

"Well sorry to disappoint but I look like this because your granddaughter woke us up at three in the morning asking about babies then I couldn't go back to sleep after Harry left for work."

"Early morning and night shifts get hard especially in the beginning but you'll soon love having the bed all to yourself for a few hours. Especially when you don't have any kids here."

"That'll be new." Louis commented unsure how he felt about that yet, “Have you guys settled in? How did you even get into the house?”

“We stopped by to get Harry’s house key and when we got here, I told Jay she was welcome to come whenever she was ready, but yes we are all settled into our rooms. Jay and I are making dinner tonight, so you don’t worry about that.”

“That’s right you relax dear.”

“Come on Maddison let’s get started on your homework so when your dad gets home you are free.”

“Okay.”

“Freddie you too come on.”

“But Papa-“

“No buts come on.” Freddie pouted but let go of his nana and walked over to the living room with them. Louis settled in between the two kids and between Maddison’s homework, Freddie’s homework, and his grading he was kept busy which relaxed him. Before he knew it the kids were finished and off to play together while he finished grading.

“So dear brother what sort of dress are you thinking?” Lottie asked.

“Don’t know or care. It’s going to be cold so keep that in mind. The only dress I care about is Maddison’s. Wear whatever you want. However, I will say that if it clashes, I will hurt you.”

“Noted. I’ll ask Harry when he gets here.”

“Yeah, you do that. The wedding inspiration book is over there, that big light blue binder. Harry did most of it.” Louis said pointing to the big binder in the bookcase, Lottie stood and grabbed it just as Louis noticed Harry was almost an hour late. He immediately sat up and reached for his phone checking for any messages but found none.

“What time is Harry supposed to be home? Dinner is almost ready.” His mom asked.

“One hour ago.” Louis said standing up from the couch and pressing the call button on Harry’s contact, “He always texts or calls when he’s running late.”

“I’m sure he’s fine, it’s Friday he’s probably busy.” Robin said gently, but Louis couldn’t stop playing the words Harry said earlier that morning before he left. It was just about to go to voicemail when Harry answered the call.

“Hey sorry I left my phone in the car all day. Everything okay?”

“Yeah…I was just making sure you were okay I- you’re late.”

“Yeah, I’ll be a little later, probably won’t be home until twelve maybe. We’re busy I actually just ran out to get my phone to text you to tell you that. Just got back to my office when you called.”

“Okay do you want me to bring you some dinner? Our families are here by the way.”

“Oh, shit they are, aren’t there. I would love a visit from you with food. We can eat together I’ll make sure to get my mandatory hour break when you visit. When are you coming?”

“I’ll make us a plate once the kids have their own then I’ll be on my way…say…thirty minutes.”

“Perfect. I-“

“Dr. Styles you’re needed in room 503.” A woman’s voice was heard in the background.

“Okay one tiny moment.” Harry said, “I gotta go, just tell the front desk you’re my fiancé and they’ll send you to my wing. Drive safe, please it’s crazy over here. I’ll see you when you get here.”

“If you tell me to drive safe one more time, I’m suffocating you in your sleep.”

“If suffocating me in my sleep involves your ass then I’m perfectly okay with it.”

“You’re insatiable. Just for that I’m hanging up on you and I’m going to say the q word when I get there.”

“YOU WOULDN’T DARE!” Anne, Robin, Harry, and his own mother shouted in pure shock making Louis laugh.

“You’re a dick.” Harry said, “It’s not my fault your ass is-“ Louis quickly hung up the call before Harry could say anymore.

“You taking food to him? Long shift tonight?” Anne asked.

“Yeah at least another six hours it sounds like. I’ll help plate the food for the kids then I’ll leave with ours. Hopefully, he can eat a full meal while it is hot. He said he’ll wait for his mandatory hour break for when I arrive, but I’m sure you know that’s not guaranteed especially since they do sound busy.”

“Yeah, the best they can do is thirty minutes, but thirty is better than none. Take what you can get.” Robin told him.

***

Arriving at the emergency room department wing area was hectic and Louis was momentarily worried he would have to wait far longer than he wanted to, but he was surprised when Liam called him over and told him Harry was just finishing his rounds for the moment and would be getting his break in a few minutes.

“You can stay in his office; I’ll send him in when he’s done. Also eat, he told me to tell you not to wait on him.”

“I would have brought you a plate if I knew you were working.”

“Got called in about twenty minutes ago. Huge pileup crash on a motorway. Honestly don’t expect him home until midnight at the earliest.”

“Okay thanks.” Louis said as he sat on one of the chairs Harry had in his small office, Liam nodded before he left closing the door behind him. Louis did as he was told and started eating his own food while he waited for Harry who came in a few minutes later. He looked tired and worn out, but he grinned when he saw him, and Louis was immediately out of his chair and in his arms before he could even realize he had stood up.

“If twelve-hour shifts get me these types of hugs, I’ll have to work more of them.” Louis shook his head causing Harry to chuckle as he tightened his arms around Louis’ body, “For the next hour, this morning never happened. We’ll deal with it later.”

“Deal.” Louis said pressing kissed to Harry’s jaw before pulling away to look at him, “You look tired.”

“I’ll be fine. Just not used to my long hours after so long. How’s the family?” Harry asked walking to the chair Louis had just left and sat in it pulling Louis into his lap.

“They’re fine. So are the kids, a little upset I came to visit you without them, but they’re fine. Maddison is really excited about dress shopping tomorrow.”

“I’m sure she is. I am too, it’ll be fun. Can’t promise I won’t be exhausted, but it’ll be fun. Now how about for the next hour we eat our food and cuddle and hopefully just relax.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Louis cuddled against Harry as they both ate their meals that their mothers made, Harry practically inhaling everything barely taking a few seconds to chew it properly.

“I told you during my long shifts I could eat anything.” Harry said with his mouthful of broccoli and cheese rice and maybe some chicken in there. After their meals were done Louis laid his head on Harry’s chest hugging his waist as his mind wandered back to this morning.

“I just don’t understand why she needs to know the dirt details.” Louis confessed.

“And I don’t understand why we should lie about it? It’s not harming anyone for her to know these things. It’s preparing her for the unfortunately near future of teenage boys and hormones and sex. She’s five right now Louis, but she’ll be six then seven then eight then she’s ten then she’s fifteen with a boyfriend or girlfriend. All her mother does is lie to her, half-truths, little lies, big lies, that’s all she does. That’s all Maddie knows from a parent, well knew from a parent.”

“I know that, but it’s weird.”

“It’s only weird because you’re making it weird and sex talk with our kids is never going to be fun and comfortable, but at least they’ll know. Besides Maddie doesn’t even know what sperm is, she just knows it exists now. It’s really not that big of a deal. Look if it makes you more comfortable, I can have these conversations with her alone, but I’m not going to lie about anything. If a question is asked, I’ll answer it the way I feel like is appropriate. I’m not going to talk to her about sperm and the actual sex act for years unless she asks about it and even then, I won’t tell her all the dirty details.”

“She’s a child.”

“Yes, but she won’t be one forever.” Louis pouted folding his arms making Harry chuckle, “Is that your problem?”

“No.”

“Seems to me that is the exact problem. You know I had a hard time accepting the fact my baby girl is growing up too, but it’s the way of life. We can’t stop it, the only thing we can do it prepare her for it and unfortunately, we have to prepare her for a world that one in five women is a saying that every woman knows about. School and work are the most popular places to experience something within that nature and she needs to know that eventually.”

“Stop talking I’m not listening to you.” Harry chuckled but held him close to his body for the next thirty minutes until they were interrupted by Liam.

“Ready to get back to work? Fifty minutes…almost an hour.”

“Yeah, come on I’ll walk you out.” Harry and Louis stood and left the room after gathering everything up then Harry walked Louis to his car, “We’ll talk later. Drive safe and text me when you get home okay.”

“I will. Wake me when you get home.”

“Of course.” Harry pressed a lingering kiss to Louis’ lips before pulling away and opening the door for him, “See you when I get home. Give the kids bedtime kisses and cuddles for me.” One more kiss then Harry was heading back into the hospital while Louis headed back to the house.

[masked-buffoon]

Chapter 11: Behind the scenes (Part 5)

Warnings: torture

Author notes: a part longer than the others, with a lot of... Eh... Dialogue. Hope you’ll like it! ;)

Kunikida and I sighed, exhausted by the situation. The illusionist had jumped in front of a moving train and had, obviously, not survived. He had revealed us rather important information about the Taikin family but, soon after, had given up on life for a reason we could not comprehend. Unless he had been threatened… Then, by who?

"This is getting annoying and nerve-wracking." My coworker let himself fall into a sofa, back in the mansion.

"We can't give up now, we have to find Yumiko-san's route with these videos…" I murmured, focused "Dazai, how was it with the servants?"

"Well~" He hummed, sitting next to me "I haven't found anything for the moment, but there are so many people, it's quite a hard job~ Couldn't you scan the entire place thanks to your ability, Ogawa~?"

"... You know that, were I to do that, I would collapse, don't you…? And I can't afford it, not when that case needs to be closed for the sake of innocent kids…!"

"You can rely on me — on us — for the rest if you need to, Ogawa." He assured "Just find the mentalist here, and get some sleep…"

"You always slack off…"

"Even she noticed it." Kunikida commented "She's right, we need her awake for the moment."

"But Yumiko-san's whereabouts are unknown because of that." Dazai defended "Not to mention Sakunosuke-kun could have been sold overseas for all we know…"

"He is still in Japan, you know that too…" I looked up at my friend, tiredly "Don't pretend you truly care about the case… You don't give a damn about that family…"

"Do you?"

"Not a chance." I smirked "I just want to protect two children and put in jail whoever needs to go there."

"... You don't actually mean it, do you…?" Our blond colleague frowned.

"I'm not a liar. I'll find the mentalist and interrogate them. You and Dazai work on the videos for now, we'll improvise afterwards." I said and stood up from my chair.

"But, Ogawa —"

"Let her go." Dazai prevented him from stopping me "Do what you do best, Ogawa."

"Indeed. Interrogating." I chuckled "Leave it to me."

I headed upstairs, towards the servants' quarters. At such a tardy hour, they had all gone to sleep, but, even so, lingering thoughts remained in their brains. From them originated dreams, another form of people's inner desires, albeit more… Fanciful. If anyone had thought about mentalism, it would show immediately. Quietly, I sat down in the middle of the corridor and closed my eyes to concentrate on the whispers coming to my mind uninvited. Chimeric images invaded my own thoughts, visions of whimsical worlds mixing up together. Something about mentalism… Anything related to hypnotism…

I found my culprit the moment a dream about illusions made its way to my brain. Immediately, I spotted the room where its owner was sleeping. As quietly as usual, I sneaked inside and identified the servant. It was a young maid, perhaps in her twenties. She slept so soundly that she would never notice if I were to smother her with a pillow. She would simply be put to sleep… Forever… No, I could not afford to do that. The information she could provide me was far more important than my anger against her. Even so, I did not use any delicacy as I woke her up and covered her mouth to stop her from screaming. With a clear gesture, I demanded her to follow me out of the room. She immediately complied, feared for her life. And I brought her back to the dining room.

"You were fast." Dazai noted, arms crossed and back against the chair.

"But I'm completely done for…" I groaned, shoving the maid toward him "After that, I'm going to sleep."

"Well, I'll let you interrogate her, then." He shrugged.

Kunikida only stared at me with a strange look. In his eyes, I could see a mix of disapproval and apprehension. Or was it fear…? And was it a tint of curiosity there…? I grinned slightly. It had been a while since I had last sat in front of someone to question them. I brought her to an empty room nearby.

"What do you want from me…?" She asked, completely panicked.

"Quiet." I ordered "I'm the one who asks questions here. And, oh, don't even think about using hypnotism on me, it doesn't work."

"I-I don't know… What you're talking about…"

I exhaled and closed the door, before tying her to the chair with a rope I had taken with me earlier.

"No use lying to me either. I'm basically a lie detector." I warned her "So I advise you speak up quickly. Where is Yumiko-san?"

"I don't know…"

"Alright, suppose you don't know. What's your name?"

"M-My… Name…? It's Isobe… Isobe Hanako..." She stuttered.

"Cute." I commented "Give me a minute, will you? I'll be right back."

With a smile, I left her in the room to walk back to the detectives. There, I grabbed Kunikida's computer.

"Hey, what —"

"I only need a minute." I typed quickly "All done, thanks."

"Ogawa… No need to go too far." Dazai told me.

"You know I hate cleaning blood…" I answered simply.

When I went back to Isobe Hanako, she still had a terrified look in her eyes. Calmly, I sat in front of her and scrutinised her face.

"Mmh… You don't look like a bad girl. I still can't believe you did that…"

"Did what…?"

"Harassed that poor girl until she committed suicide. You weren't alone, your friends in high school pretty much participated too, but you were the perpetrator, weren't you? The leader. The one behind the attacks." I crossed my legs to be more comfortable "What did she do to you, I wonder… Stealing your boyfriend? Getting better grades than you? Being more… Appreciated than you? Being more beautiful than you? So, what did she do to you?"

"How do you… How do you know that…?" She started crying.

"I'm well-informed. Now, if you don't want the world to know about the girl who mysteriously disappeared after making a classmate die, if you want to keep living quietly, without any troubles, it's easy. You can just answer my questions."

"No… I can't…"

I got closer to her so I could grip her shoulders tightly.

"My… You don't seem to understand… Very well, then. I will sell the news of your position to the media. And…" I lowered my voice "I will find dirt about your entire family. None of you will be able to survive the disaster coming to you and that is your fault. But don't worry… None of you will die… I'll only make sure that your life becomes a literal hell."

"No! Not my family…" She sobbed "Leave mom and dad alone… I'll talk okay? I'll tell you what you want to know, so leave them alone…!"

"That's a good girl." I smiled at her "Now… Where is Yumiko-san and why did you put her under hypnosis?"

"I… I don't know… Where she is… She… Went to find her son..."

"Oh…"

Swiftly, I grabbed one of her fingers and broke it. She screamed in pain.

"Needless to say, I hate lies." I shrugged it off "So?"

"You're a monster…" She hiccuped as tears ran onto her face.

"It's up to you whether you talk to me or lie to me. I'm not a monster, you're just quite stubborn. Hurry now, I don't have all night. I'd like some sleep too, you know."

"I… She… I received an order… I had to make her kill the mentalist Nazo Eita… I just told her… 'Kill Nazo Eita'... She went out and… She must be in Kabukichō…"

"Thanks." I took notes "Who gave you that order?"

"I don't know…"

I broke a second finger.

"Who gave you that order?" I repeated, without losing composure.

"His brother…!" She finally revealed "He's my teacher…! Please! Stop hurting me!"

"His brother… Oh… I see… It was the third one, Nozaki the Grand. Now you say so, he did change a bit his last name to create a whole new one…" I snickered "Smart… And he had his brother killed… Why would he use Yumiko-san for that, though…?"

"I can't say…"

"It seems you don't care about your fingers…" I sighed and reached for her hand "Are you sure about your answer?"

"S-She's the perfect… Culprit…" Her voice shook "Even if sh-she's arrested, Taikin-san won't be bothered… She's just a pawn…"

"Ah… I think I understand now… Thank you for your answer." I let go of her finger.

"Is… Is it over now…?"

"You're going to resign from this job." I stated "And you'll live far, far from that mansion."

"I… I can't…! That's my job…!"

"It's fine with me, then. Then, I'll have you arrested."

"W-Wait —"

I pulled out a gun and knocked her out with the pommel. She did not deserve that I wasted a single bullet for her. A dog who bit its master… It was useless. And it angered me.

"Make her sign a complete confession when she wakes up." I asked my coworkers "She's the one who ordered Yumiko-san to kill Nazo-san. He was pushed under the train. That maid obeyed the third mentalist of the list, Nozaki the Grand, who is none other than Nazo-san's brother. They worked together for the Taikin family."

"Ten minutes…" Dazai checked the time "You're getting rusty~"

"I only had a minute to look for information, after all. Had I had a complete file about her, it would have been much easier." I put my head on the table.

"She's… Asleep…?" Kunikida raised an eyebrow.

"Knocked out. Nothing too bad. We may need to call Yosano-sensei for her fingers, too." I mumbled.

"Violence? Truly, Ogawa, your skills are decreasing~" My friend laughed.

"Not at all…" I cracked a smile "It's just hard without information."

"Wait a minute… How can you two joke about that…?!" Our bespectacled colleague sounded upset "You basically tortured the poor girl, that's not interrogating…!"

Upon seeing my face, he quickly headed inside the other room, from where we heard a shocked gasp. His steps were quick to bring him back.

"You destroyed her hand…! And her face…!"

"Kunikida… I broke two fingers and punched her jaw… Don't exaggerate…" I rolled my eyes.

"If she even has a trace of psychological issues after that, I swear, you will not join the Agency, unless you step on my dead body…!" He menaced.

I immediately sat up, then clicked my tongue. The Agency… For a moment, most certainly due to exhaustion, I had forgotten about the rules of this world. Could I not interrogate someone normally…? Negotiating with them, instead of threatening them…?

"She won't have side effects… I don't think she will… I mean… I went pretty easy on her…"

I had the terrible feeling that I was worsening the situation instead of helping it.

"Easy…? For goodness' sake, Ogawa…! She's disfigured…! And her cheeks are still stained by tears, what did you tell her…?!" He argued.

"Fine! Fine…"

I fidgeted with my fingers.

"I… Did forget myself and use methods from underground organisations…" I admitted.

"Goddammit, you —"

"Calm down now." Dazai stopped the detective from grabbing my collar "It's done, now. It is true that the method was… Doubtful, but, at the very least, we have a confession. Besides, for knowing her, Ogawa did go easy on her, don't worry."

"I don't care what 'easy' means to you, but that girl… She'll be traumatised…! How do you prevent that, eh…?!"

"Why… People feared retribution too much and were too grateful to be left alive to really care…" I recalled "But you know… Usually… We just killed them…"

"And how am I supposed to react to that…?" He breathed out "I can't even believe I started trusting you…! You and I… We have nothing in common…! You can never belong to the Armed Detective Agency!"

I stood up and grabbed my coat to take my leave. That was my mistake. I had failed.

"Don't you want to sleep before going?" Dazai suggested.

"It's fine…" I assured him "I'm an idiot for letting my only chance to live slip through my fingers, anyway…"

I then turned toward them to offer them my brightest smile.

"Thank you for allowing me to try. Now, I know I can never reach that world you live in. It was very fun, these days with you…!" I waved at them.

I could see Dazai did not like that I had given up so easily. However, there was no way I could work righteously and save that family… They would have to try without me. And I… I would go back to my home.

[yaboylevi]

Does Eren's question mean that he has a cruch on Mikasa?

Mmm, I’ll try to explain how I read the scene.

Short answer: No, I do not believe Eren has a crush on Mikasa and the scene, albeit presented in a romantic light from Mikasa’s pov, it was not on Eren’s part. Same as usual, I’d argue.

I will expand on this under the cut, but I just want to reiterate that this is just my interpretation, as one of the anons said, and I am aware everyone is free to have their own, even if they might puzzle me. You are free to disagree, but please don’t send me hate messages.

Upon reading the chapter the first time, I didn’t feel romantic vibes. It was actually quite tragic and disappointing for me to see one of my favorite characters (Mikasa) completely misunderstand my favorite character (Eren), in spite of how close they are supposed to be. I was so depressed and disturbed by the whole chapter, that even if I read it at 5 AM and I could’ve slept another 2 hours before having to actually wake up, I just laid in bed restlessly, absolutely depressed. I even tweeted about it lol.

Anyway, I was pretty busy that week, and only later I found out most people interpreted the scene as Eren being in love with Mikasa. It was a shock for me. It was literally the opposite of what I personally understood.

- Eren’s headspace

Let’s first talk about Eren and where his mind is in this chapter.

I felt discomfort and anxiety throughout the whole chapter. I am a pretty empathetic person, so I realized why I was feeling like that only later, after rationalizing chapter 123: Eren’s memories (which we know are horrible and gruesome and depressing) were being triggered the whole time he was in Marley and it was disturbing to watch.

He looks distressed and uncomfortable. His gaze is often unfocused (or, well, not focused on the present) and he is constantly spacing out - Armin notices but doesn’t seem to care or understand why. Honestly, it is cringe-worthy seeing Eren’s friends’ behavior. They should know what memories Eren has of this place. I do not know if anyone reading right now is familiar with triggers and what they do to a mind affected by PTSD. It’s enough to know that you feel like suffocating because you are fundamentally battling a panic attack and you ideally would want to get away from the source that is triggering you. So, imagine being in a situation you can’t escape from and everything is triggering your worst nightmares. Literally.

Even here, I’m ashamed no one in canon (and almost even in the fandom?) realizes or bothers to be understanding and careful, even when Eren makes a disturbing comment about it. Mikasa admits to it when it's all too late.

The ice-cream scene, just like the one I’m supposed to analyze in this post, is rose-tinted through Mikasa’s glasses, until we are faced with reality and are asked to reflect on Eren’s emotional state, again and again.

Reality is not a happy trip in a foreign country. Reality is a crowd of grown men wanting to hang a child because he’s different. Reality is people wanting to kill them all. Reality is Eren being triggered by ice-cream. Imagine being unable to look at a certain food because it reminds you of people being abused and brutally killed, something that you have actual memories of.

It’s just really frustrating seeing Mikasa looking at Eren, with this dumbfounded look on her face, every time Eren’s eyes seem to scream “help”.

The strain he is put under for the whole time culminates in him crying while looking at the war victims’ homes. Here at this moment, Mikasa enters the scene.

- The “eremika” scene

At this point, Eren’s reminiscing about an awful part of his past, and has a pretty clear idea of what will happen in Marley in a close future. We can be certain of this because he voices both of these topics out loud.

Eren is visibly distressed. Honestly, I’m pretty sure his voice in this scene will be quite telling of his emotional state in the anime. The direction his thoughts go, when expressed out loud, and the expression on his face are self-explanatory. Or should be, at least.

It doesn’t matter that Mikasa hasn’t seen him cry, she saw Eren wipe his face and noticed that there is, again, something wrong, but she doesn’t even ask him if he’s alright. She either doesn’t comprehend the depth of Eren’s pain, yet again, or she isn’t brave enough to ask. I believe it’s the former.

The whole chapter revolves around Mikasa’s inability to see Eren’s true feelings. Chapter 123 opens with this concept. And it is also quite clear that everything is retold from her point of view, so we shouldn’t complacently accept a surface reading of it; we are instead invited to have a deeper look into the events, both by Mikasa’s initial lines as well as the not at all subtle visual storytelling. So yeah, she has a perspective on Eren that is wrong. I think we should keep this in mind.

That’s why the moment she thinks ice-cream can make Eren happy, she is wrong. The moment she thinks Eren’s question has romantic implications, she is wrong. The moment she wonders if a different answer could’ve prevented Eren from choosing this path, she is also wrong...

Let’s go back to the scene.

Eren opens up on his own, even if Mikasa didn’t ask. He’s always been open throughout the time-skip (and even before), but I believe at this moment he has reached the breaking point since landing in Marley. He is at the most vulnerable. Like a dam finally breaking, his walls, that he had tried to keep up until that moment, fall and his feelings/thoughts spill out, after being mostly silent all day.

His short monologue is a direct continuation, or out loud repetition, of what he had been thinking about only moments before and that had caused him to cry. I believe the future he has decided upon also plays a part in it, but he doesn’t voice it, just offhandedly acknowledge its existence with that “Not yet.” comment.

Seeing a family living in poor conditions because of a war they didn’t even have any say in, has triggered Eren’s memories of the past. His and Mikasa’s and Armin’s past. They only had each other, as family, because the adults weren’t there anymore, unjustly killed, like many others. They had experienced first hand what it meant to lose your loved ones, to live a life without enough food, enough rest, enough protection. Without freedom.

Mikasa doesn’t say anything to this. She doesn’t know how to reply, and, thanks to the chapters dedicated to the time-skip, we know this has been going on for years. It’s honestly…disappointing.

And even before the time-skip, we know that she sometimes projected her insecurities and wishes on Eren, misinterpreting him really badly, to the point of making situations romantic when it really weren't.

The scene in chapter 123 is no different, especially because, as I said, it is explicitly a chapter told from Mikasa’s point of view where she also explicitly says she hasn’t been seeing Eren correctly.

There have been a lot of parallels with past chapters in this recent arc, and even 123 wasn’t lacking in this department: if the ice-cream scene parallels the ocean scene, with everyone having fun, while Eren is in emotional pain and discomfort; This other scene parallels chapter 50. At the ocean, Eren’s words gave pause to everyone, but in chapter 123 nobody, quite frankly, gives a damn about Eren to the point that they forget about him. Similarly, in chapter 50 Mikasa had managed to express her feelings for Eren’s existence (gratitude, acceptance and unconditional love - not necessarily romantic), and managed to surprisingly help him because she understood his needs on a basic level. In chapter 123, she doesn’t understand Eren’s pain and so she doesn’t say the right thing (that, btw, wouldn’t have changed Eren’s mind about his future actions, imo).

Just like in chapter 50, Eren is in an emotionally fragile moment, and what he needs, unconsciously, is the reassurance that he is loved, that someone cares about him for who he is, even if he feels undeserving of it.

I believe he is feeling despair on both occasions.

Of course, we can only guess about what made Eren cry in this new chapter, because we don’t have access to his mind this time around, but I’m sure it’s a mixture of things: knowing how ineluctable their future seems, and whatever it entails is upsetting for Eren as well; empathy for someone else’s painful condition because he’s been there before; probably also sadness, because he knows what he himself will cause to happen (as implied by that “not yet”) as well as that his time with his found family and friends is about to end; the bonds he will have to break, something that breaks Eren in return.

So it’s honestly not that surprising that he searches for comfort. I guess he’s been struggling with what he has seen in his future because he would have never thought himself able to kill innocents. His mindset used to be about protecting himself and his loved ones and innocents from being robbed of their freedom, yet he knows he is about to become someone who takes away that freedom, along with lives. For him, life equals freedom, because when you are born you are intrinsically free. So his future actions must have been weighing heavy on his mind and heart.

I find it fitting and incredibly sad that he asks Mikasa what she thinks of him now, after talking about families being robbed of their freedom and how much pain this causes.

Mikasa has always been family to him. So has been Armin, but Mikasa is somehow different. She has lived with him, he has directly invited her to be part of his family, he admitted he childishly rejected her familial care because he was jealous but after this admittance, he embraces it. Opening Grisha’s book together was an important moment exactly because they are family, and that was their home.

They are constantly compared to family. It doesn’t matter, in my opinion, that Mikasa holds also romantic feelings for Eren. She primarily sees him as family, too.

They are what is left of the Yeager household, and the story has highlighted this.

So I believe that in his pain in 123, Eren seeks something, a word of comfort, an assurance that he is not just a killer or a failure, and that he is Eren, someone who has been trying to do the right thing since forever, someone who has done the right thing often, someone who is deserving of the care of the girl he once saved (even if the question clearly implies he doesn’t think he deserves it). In chapter 50, Eren invokes his mother. I am sure he is searching for the same kind of warmth here too. The warmth of his family.

The scene, to me, felt a lot more about Eren’s feelings of self-hatred and Mikasa missing the point.

The entirety of the chapter is meant to show how Mikasa didn’t understand Eren: both by ignoring some signs and misunderstanding others.

He is suffering, but she thinks he is asking her about her romantic feelings.

She blushes, yet Eren has just finished crying and becomes teary-eyed once again.

He is distressed and looks haunted, during both of the rose-colored scenes with Mikasa. 

His questions are almost needy. Yet, she fails to understand what Eren was in need of: comfort, understanding, an “I care about you because it’s YOU”. Something that she implied later in chapter 112, when it was indeed too late.

- The two choices were possibly both wrong

Eren presented two options and I think they were both partially correct but at the same time incomplete, because Mikasa’s care for Eren is comprised of many facets. We don’t know what he thinks of Mikasa's answer because we don’t see his reaction to it. However, he seems at peace, later on, falling asleep next to the closest members of his found family, meaning he is content with and values the way their relationship is. 

Eren surely doesn’t regret saving Mikasa. He also surely considers Mikasa his family, as I stated before. But there are certain kinds of expectations in being family and in being someone’s savior. You will always care about someone who literally saved your life. You will always care about family because they are…well, family. No matter how messed up they may be, they will always have a small place in your heart, whether it’s bad or good. 

“You’re my savior” might imply a dependance or sticking to someone just to repay them. “Family” might have the meaning of “it’s my duty to look after you because it’s simply what family members do”. Both also imply that Mikasa will be hurt even worse by what Eren is about to do.

These weren’t the answers Eren needed, perhaps.

As I said already, I believe that what he searched for, was a different answer. If Mikasa had told him she cared about him as a person, as Eren himself, Eren would have felt reassured - because he would be loved for the neutral quality of simply existing. That’s also what made him feel better, when hearing Carla’s words at the end of Uprising. That he was loved, cared for, and worthy of existing just for being born. No expectations, no burdens. An “I stick with you because I love you (romantically)” could have held the same meaning, potentially, because love is love, but in no way this means Eren wanted a romantic answer or that he feels the same way. Besides, that’s not the reason Mikasa cares about Eren, that’s just a side effect, imo.

And I don’t believe Mikasa, at the question “what am I to you?”, believes she should have responded with “you are the love of my life”. That would’ve been so out of place, because Eren is not the love of her life. He is more. I think family well describes it, but her half-assed, panicked answer wasn’t truthful or as powerful as her words were in chapter 50, so they had no real effect and felt unsatisfying for everyone, honestly.

I always stated that if Eren fell in love with someone else, their love for one another wouldn’t change, because the strongest feeling Mikasa feels for Eren isn’t romantic love, and romantic love is something that has never been in Eren’s mind when it came to Mikasa, as shown countless times (or rather, the lack of romantic undertones on his part re:Mikasa should be proof enough, imo).

Anyway, I could be wrong, but I can’t see it any other way. I think it’s a very complex scene to analyze and there is way more than meets the eye, especially because we aren’t granted access to Eren.

I am a great fan of Mikasa, but this scene and chapter made me reconsider her a lot, unfortunately. I strongly believed she had resolved and understood her complicated feelings for Eren in chapter 50, so she had reached a less biased view, but there has been a regression. The same happened with Armin, his character arc was about him growing confident in himself, and learning to always pay close attention to his own realistic reading of the world, but he has just become unsure of what he has to do and lost his cynical edge.

And finally, I want to quickly address another two points so I don't have to talk about this scene anymore until new information is revealed:

The “perfect timing” comment: I interpreted it as Eren knowing what was about to happen and being depressed but used to his memories being correct. Proof, for me, is Mikasa being confused at Eren’s comment, just like she was at the “not yet” one. Besides, they had already been interrupted by the old man and he didn’t seem to mind, so this “perfect timing” has nothing to do with their friends “ruining” the moment. He willingly invites them to join in and finally, he is content and relaxed, when he is with all of them. He loves them all. 

Mikasa’s comment about “if only I had said something different”: I think she may have realized that it wasn’t a romantic situation - because clearly, her romantic inclinations have clouded her judgment. That she had failed to understand Eren’s feelings and his reason for bringing up Mikasa’s care for him. I don’t sense a “I should’ve told him I loved him”. Because honestly, familial love IS love. Platonic love IS love, too. If Eren wasn’t “saved” by the purest form of love, I don’t see how any other type of love could’ve changed anything. That panel, revisited by the current Mikasa, focuses even more on Eren’s tears. Eren’s deep sadness clashes with Mikasa’s initial frivolous reading of the moment. So stating that she believes she should’ve confessed, means going against what the chapter has stated to be…not right.

Thank you for reading all of this, if anyone has managed to! :)

[out-of-jams]

Airplane Mode | Track 01: Piece of Peace (P.O.P.) | jhs

Summary: Set in the same universe as Love at First Touch by bagelswrites.

In a world where a bruise marks the first touch of your soulmate, time is the only thing that matters. The marks take hours to appear, sometimes even days if you're really unlucky. Once First Touch is initiated, both parties only have a few weeks to find the other. From then on, the body begins to reject any form of sustenance other than the touch of the other. If one fails to find their soulmate, they starve to death.

So what happens when your soulmate is an internationally famous idol?

And you're just one fan in a sea of many who can't even speak the same language.

Pairing: Hoseok x Fem Character

Word Count: 4.7k

Genre: Fluff. Angst. Idol!au. Smut. Soulmate!au. Explicit language.

Warnings: This chapter contains swearing and a description of a panic attack. If you wish to skip the panic attack part, do not read the end of the last section.

Words written like this are words spoken in Korean.

                      Next | Masterlist | Track List |

“Where the hell are you?”

A femine voice yelled into the phone pressed against her ear. The loud, excited chatter of the group of young girls in line in front of her threatened to drown out her voice. Pulling the drenched hood of her hoodie further over her head, the girl attempted to shield herself from the cold rain.

“I’m a block away. Don’t get your panties in a wad, Jae.”

Eunjae huffed as the deep voice of her best friend grumbled through the phone’s speaker. She watched as her breath dispersed from her mouth in a cloud of white and almost, almost, felt a brief whisper of regret.

The denim of Eunjae’s jacket caught on the brick of the building she was leaning against and she muttered a curse. It was the middle of January in New York City and damn was it cold . Even after living in the city for most of her life, Eunjae still didn’t know how she managed to survive the cold months. Eyes narrowed on the back of the girl’s BTS sweatshirt in front of her, Eunjae reminded herself of why she was enduring such torture.

Do it for the boys,  she sang the mantra in her head, bouncing on the toes of her Doc Martens in a poor attempt at warming up.  For those beautiful boys and their beautiful voices.  

The teenaged girl in line behind her let out a screech of excitement and Eunjae gripped the phone in her hand tighter. Teeth chattering, she opened her mouth to respond to her best friend on the other line.

“Yeah well, you left me forever ago and I’m dying over here. Do you want to be responsible for my death, Miles?”

“First off, I left to get an umbrella ten minutes ago, you ingrate. Jesus, you’re so overdramatic.” Eunjae could feel the boy rolling his eyes over the phone. “Besides, you’re the one who dragged me all the way out here, so you can’t even complain.”

“Dragged you?” Eunjae raised an eyebrow even though he wasn’t there to see it. “You peed your pants when I told you I got tickets to a fanmeet with BTS.”

“I did not pee my pants ! I just got a little excited, okay?”

Eunjae’s laughter rang into the air and she could taste the rain on her tongue as she tilted her head back. “You said the same thing in fifth grade after you wet yourself in front of the whole cla-”

Click.

A grunt of annoyance left her at the sudden dial tone ringing in her ear. “That idiot hung up on me.”

“Yeah, well, you were being rude as hell.”

The rain that had been pelting the top of her white hoodie ceased and Eunjae turned her head to find Miles towering over her. His white-blond hair was completely drenched, flopping over his tan forehead. The rain had ruined whatever product she knew he must have spent hours that morning putting into it. Miles had the black hood of his thin sweatshirt thrown up over his head in a meager attempt at shielding himself from the downpour. The zipper was pulled up just far enough to show off the silver chains around his neck, and the top of his purple “eat, sleep, BTS, repeat” shirt stuck out from under his soaked sweatshirt.

The soft pitter-patter of the rain hitting the clear umbrella he held in his hand eased some of the nervous tension in Eunjae’s body. She slid the hood off her head and ran a hand through the damp silver tresses. The rings adorned on one of her hands caught on a particularly stubborn tangle and she grimaced in pain.

“Yeah, well, hanging up is also rude as hell.” Eunjae fired back, finally succeeding in taming her long hair.

“I don’t know why I put up with you.” Miles rolled his green eyes before nodding his head towards the front of the line. “Ooh, I think they’re finally letting us in. Just in time too! Hallelujah! I can not wait to finally get to meet those beautiful specimens they call humans.”

“And you call me overdramatic.” Eunjae muttered under her breath with a small smile. Miles was right. The doors to the venue had finally been opened, and the line slowly started to trickle into the building.

As the pair made their way towards the staff checking tickets at the door, Eunjae began to feel her palms sweat. She’d been a fan of BTS for the past year, and even though Miles teased her for being so late to hop onto the BTS Express, she was beyond excited. And nervous. Very, very nervous.

Bangtan Sonyeondan had gained so much traction in the last year that they were practically a household name. Eunjae had been trying to get tickets to one of their concerts ever since Miles introduced them to her. But Bangtan hadn’t had anything scheduled in New York City until now.

Winning a lottery for a fanmeet with BTS was something that Eunjae had never imagined happening to her. When she’d gotten the email, she’d screamed so loud that her grandmother barged into her room armed with a baseball bat because she’d thought they were getting robbed. Eunjae had called Miles up right away, who’d literally burst into tears over FaceTime. He’d been a fan of BTS since they first debuted, but he’d only ever been to a few concerts; nothing as personal and intimate as a fanmeet.

One of the staff at the front of the line scanned the tickets on Eunjae’s phone and they were ushered in with a short wave of the hand. Stepping inside, Eunjae let out a sigh as the warmth of the building’s central heating hit her frozen skin.

“Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.” Miles squeaked as they walked down the aisle of the room holding the fanmeet. There were about a hundred black folding chairs set up in multiple rows, the first few rows already being taken up by fans. Front and center of the room was a small stage with a long tablecloth table and seven empty chairs.

“Stop, you’re making me more nervous.” Eunjae elbowed Miles in the side. The line had snaked its way around and her short legs bumped into the neatly lined chairs as she shuffled into their row.

“Sorry, not sorry.” Miles let out a shaky breath as they took a seat. Eunjae could feel the cold of the metal beneath her damp, ripped skinny jeans and she shivered.

Glancing over at Miles as he nervously fiddled with the folded umbrella between his legs, Eunjae reached over to pat the top of one of his cold hands. She hadn’t seen him this nervous since he’d confessed to a boy he’d been crushing on in their junior year math class years ago. Even though they teased and annoyed the crap out of each other, the two of them always looked out for each other.

“You okay?” She asked, eyebrows scrunched in concern, pushing her own nervousness to the wayside.

“Yeah, I’m good, JJ.” Miles bumped his grey jeaned leg into hers. “Just nervous. Like, what if I go to say something to them and just...just...?”

“Pee your pants?”

An unattractive snort shot out of his nose and he shook his head with a smile. “You know what? I hope you mess up those Korean phrases you spent so much time learning.”

“I’ll have you know that I didn’t spend that much time learning them.’” Eunjae turned her nose up at him. “I am  half Korean, ‘ya know. So I know what I’m-”

“You literally spent two days trying to figure out how to say ‘hi, my name is Eunjae Morales,’ you poser.”

Eunjae’s snarky response was cut off as the girls and few boys around them erupted into screams. Head snapping back around to the front of the room, Eunjae’s mouth parted as seven of the world’s most beautiful human beings stepped out onto the stage one after another.

The album cover clenched between Eunjae’s white knuckled fingers was the only thing keeping her grounded. The line of fans in front of her were dwindling down as one after another, they took their turn stepping in front of the long table at the front of the room. Despite the water still dampening her clothes, Eunjae felt herself breaking into a nervous sweat. Maybe she should have taken off the denim jacket, but it was too late now.

“I’m looking at Kim Namjoon right now.” Miles clutched at Eunjae’s elbow, his green eyes blown wide as they locked onto the first person seated at the table. “ Kim Namjoon . I can’t breathe.”

Nodding in silent agreement, Eunjae couldn’t bring herself to form words as she stared past the few people left in front of her in line. Kim Namjoon, famed leader of Bangtan Sonyeondan, sat in the first chair. Tanned skin and dimpled cheeks, he hid his symmetrical face behind one of his big hands shyly as the fan kneeling in front of him whispered something to him. Pink, full lips pulling up into an embarrassed smile, Kim Namjoon crossed one of his long legs over the other beneath the table.

“I swear to God, if Seokjin speaks to me, I might actually spontaneously combust.” Miles was going to leave a bruise if he clutched at her arm any longer.

Wincing, Eunjae pried his fingers from her person. Breathing in shakily, she joked, “well, I hope everyone knows where the fire exits are.”

“Stop using humor to deflect.” Miles wasn’t even looking at her, too busy ogling the next man sitting at the table: Min Yoongi.

“Wow, call me out on my faults, will you?” Eunjae didn’t even comprehend what she was saying as she watched wide-eyed as the person in front of her stepped onto the small stage and kneeled down in front of Kim Namjoon. “Some friend you are.”

“Holy shit you’re next.” Miles breathed.

“Holy shit I’m next.”

Eunjae felt her breath catch in her throat as the space in front of Namjoon cleared. She didn’t have a particular bias out of the members, but the confident brilliance of Kim Namjoon just did something to her.

Her dark eyes widened when the staff member positioned next to the stage waved her forward. It took Miles prodding her in the back for her to move, feet shuffling up the small steps to the stage. As she kneeled down in front of Namjoon and placed her album onto the table, he looked up from his marker with a smile.

Wow, those dimples are dangerous , she thought, mouth opening and closing without sound.

“Hello.” Kim Namjoon’s deep voice was like butter as he reached for her album. “What’s your name?”

“Uh,” she stuttered out unintelligently as he neatly signed his signature onto the album. All of the Korean that she’d practiced beforehand slipped completely from her mind. She was just lucky that Namjoon was fluent in English. “Eunjae Morales.”

“Nice to meet you, Eunjae.” Namjoon’s cheeks dimpled as he held up a hand for her to high five. Her small hand gently tapped his and she almost died on the spot.

“You too.” Enjae wouldn’t have been able to say anything more even if she’d wanted to. A staff member appeared behind Namjoon from seemingly out of nowhere to wave her on. She was barely able to squeeze out a “fighting!” before she slid down to the next member.

Eunjae’s interaction with Min Yoongi passed in a blur. She’d barely been able to stammer out a sentence from underneath his unfaltering gaze. And when he flashed her his patented gummy smile, Eunjae couldn’t help the shy grin she sent back in return. In the middle of his accented sentence in English, he lifted up a hand for her to high five, smile widening at the blush that spread across her cheeks.

Sliding down the table, she glanced up and felt the breath stutter in her chest when she met the dark eyes of Kim Seokjin. His face was even more beautiful in person and when his plush lips tilted up in a smile, she almost fainted on the spot. His dark hair was parted to reveal forehead and the lightly tanned skin of his arms shone under the lights as he reached out for her album. Seokjin didn’t know a lot of English, however, so they weren’t really able to converse. But he sent another radiant smile her way as he grasped one of her hands in both of his and squeezed gently.

Before moving down again, Eunjae took a peak at Miles behind her. She had to muffle her laughter from his wide-eyed stare of awe as he admired the beautiful Kim Seokjin. Lips twitching, she shuffled down the table once again with shaking hands.

“Hello!” The enthusiastic greeting of Jung Hoseok met her ears in his cute, accented English.

Wow, this is just not fair.  Eunjae barely stopped herself from speaking the thoughts out loud. Hoseok’s eyes turned into crescent moons as he grinned down at her, showing off his perfectly straight teeth. A grey bucket hat hid most of his wavy, dark hair from view, and Eunjae was glad that his stylists didn’t force him to straighten it. Popping up between the corners of his pink lips and high cheekbones were tiny, cute dimples.

“Hi.” Eunjae answered, hands coming up to cover the bottom half of her face shyly. Why are all these men so beautiful?  

Ignoring the album in front of him, Hoseok excitedly gestured a ringed finger back and forth between them before declaring, “the same!”

Eunjae tilted her head in confusion at his words for a moment before glancing down at where he was gesturing. A very unladylike snort left her as soon as she noticed what he meant. Hoseok was dressed in a plain white T-shirt with a denim jacket thrown over it, incidentally matching with her white hoodie and denim jacket.

“Hey, I had this on first.” The words came out automatically, muffled as she spoke around the fingers covering her lips. Her nervousness caused the words to stumble out without her permission. “You copied me.”

Hoseok’s contagious laughter burst from his lips and his hand stopped waving between them as he leaned forward. Elbows propped onto the table, he reached out to gently pull Eunjae’s hands from her face. Smaller hands held in his long fingers, Hoseok’s glittering eyes roved her face.

“Name?”

Attempting to force the blush from her cheeks, Eunjae sputtered out the first words that came to mind. Which was, finally , the correct translation of her practiced introduction in Korean. It seemed almost impossible, but Hoseok’s smile widened even more as he stared at her in surprise, hands squeezing her own.

“ You speak Korean ?”  

Eunjae blinked as she attempted to slowly translate the rapid fire Korean that just left his lips. Her brow creased as she grasped at the words that had long since been buried in the back of her brain. She hadn’t held a conversation in Korean since she was a kid, and what was once easily translated now came with great difficulty.

“ Uh, very small. ” Eunjae winced at what she was sure was an incorrect sentence. “ Sorry .”

Hoseok let go of her hands and leaned forward to gently sandwich her burning cheeks between his soft palms. “ Gwiyeopda !”

That word Eunjae did not know, though it sounded vaguely familiar. Before she could form a response, the space in front of Kim Taehyung, who sat next to Hoseok, finally emptied. A staff member materialized over Hoseok’s shoulder to gesture her along. He gave Eunjae one last parting, dimpled smile before finally releasing her. He quickly signed album that laid forgotten between them before sliding it down to the left.

“Bye-bye!”

Eunjae sent him a parting smile and a stammered “bye” before finding herself kneeling in front of the beautiful Kim Taehyung. Sitting this close, she was able to make out all the details of his visage. His golden skin practically glowed under the lights of the room and his hair had recently been dyed a beautiful blond. Long, slender fingers gently slid her album closer to himself. With one double lidded eye, and one single lidded eye, he peered up at her from under his long lashes as he enthusiastically scrawled his signature.

“Hi!” Taehyung let his marker fall carelessly to the table and he reached out to grab onto her hands. Fingers intertwining with hers, he sent her a cute boxy smile and waved their conjoined hands side to side.

“Hi!” Eunjae had always been the type of person to automatically mold her energy to the people around her. And Taehyung’s energy was definitely nudging hers from shy to excited.

Like Seokjin, Taehyung’s grasp on the English language was very limited. So their interaction just consisted of him waving their conjoined hands around in a very uncoordinated dance. Meeting an adorable Park Jimin, who had been sitting next to Taehyung, and a shy Jeon Jungkook passed by in the blink of an eye.

Before she knew it, Eunjae was descending the tiny steps to the stage. She didn’t make it far down the aisle before Miles was back at her side, hand snaking out to clutch onto her arm for dear life.

“This has been the single, most greatest day of my life.” He gushed as they sat back down. Miles let his eyes trail back over the line of boys sitting at the table with a starstruck expression. “I think I’m in love.”

Nodding, Eunjae subtly flexed her hands. “It should be illegal to be that beautiful.”

“Then I would be in jail, sweetie.”

Shaking her head, Eunjae turned back to the front of the room and watched as the seven men bounced their energy off of one another. Jimin had the microphone in his hand, playfully taunting a glaring Seokjin. As the last few fans trickled off the stage, all Eunjae could think about for the rest of the fanmeet was how cold her hands felt.

Bare feet sinking into the soft, shag carpet underneath the couch in Miles’ one bedroom apartment, Eunjae groggily sat up. Dawn was just beginning to peek through the closed blinds of the small living room as she sat upright for a few moments to gather her bearings. Eunjae’s head pounded in sync with her heartbeat, each bump-bump sending a searing pain through her skull.

After the fanmeet the day previous, Eunjae and Miles had retreated back to his tiny one bedroom apartment in the lower West Side. After stuffing themselves with leftover chinese food, the two of them had ended up retreating to bed. Too lazy to hike down to the subway to trek all the way back home to Queens, Eunjae raided Miles’ closet for pajamas and crashed shortly after.

Eyes squinting groggily at the clock face on the tv’s cable box, Eunjae grumbled angrily at her pressing bladder. She’d only been asleep for a few hours and the warmth of the couch cushions was calling to her. Ignoring the temptation, she slowly rose to her feet, muscles weak and achy like she’d decided to run a marathon the day previous.

Eunjae blindly felt her way down the short hallway between the living room and kitchenette, stumbling through the first door on the left. The lone window behind the bathroom counter was enough for her to see by. So, without bothering to turn the light on, she locked the door and shuffled across the room. After doing her business, she ran her hands under the warm tap water, eyes closed. It wasn’t until she turned off the tap that she looked up.

“Holy shit .”

Eyes wide in alarm, she braced herself against the counter and leaned to further inspect herself in the mirror hanging above the sink. Both sides of her face were covered in ugly, dark purple bruises. They were the darkest right on the apple of her cheeks before fading to a greenish-yellow around her chin and right under her eyes.

“What the hell?”

Eunjae reached out a shaky finger to gently prod at one of her cheeks, only to stop halfway once she noticed the bruising that covered the back of her hand as well. Both hands, in fact. How had she managed to hurt herself to such an extent without even realising? Actually, Eunjae was pretty sure that those bruises hadn’t been there when she went to sleep. Were those…?

Heart leaping in her throat, Eunjae threw the bathroom door open and screamed out for Miles. She refused to tear her eyes away from her reflection in disbelief at what she was seeing. The bruises looked familiar to something that had been covered in every year of grade school since the third grade. But it couldn’t be. She couldn’t have…

“Why are you screaming bloody murder?” The groggy, sleep filled voice of Miles reached out for her from down the hallway and she let out a shaky breath before answering.

“Miles, I need you to come look at this and tell me I’m crazy.”

“What?” His voice was closer now, and Eunjae saw his head poke into the bathroom through the mirror. “Why are you standing here in the dark like a...oh, my God.”

“Please tell me that I fell down somewhere last night and just don’t remember it.” Eunjae pleaded, the cold edge of the counter digging into her stomach.

The boy didn’t answer right away. Instead, he moved to stand next to her, his sharp profile catching her eye as he stared down at the bruises on her face. Miles reached out a hand as if he were going to trace her cheek, but he stopped halfway, hand hanging limp between them.

“No,” his voice was quiet as he stared in awe. “No, you didn’t fall.”

There was a beat of silence where neither of them spoke. The only noise that filled the still air was the soft melody of a songbird perched somewhere outside the window.

“Eunjae.” Miles hadn’t used her first name since they were children. “Those look like that marks of First Touch.”

Eunjae couldn’t verbally respond. She just nodded her head slowly in agreement.

“I think you met your soulmate.”

The marks that covered her skin were not ordinary bruises; they were soulmarks, the sign of First Touch. The first time someone’s skin brushed against that of their soulmate’s, it left behind a bruise at the point of contact. Not right away, however, it took hours, sometimes even days, for them to appear on the skin.

Finding your soulmate sounded great on paper, but once First Touch was initiated, both parties only got a few weeks to find the other. From then on, the body would begin to reject any form of sustenance other than the touch of the other. If one failed to find their soulmate, they starved to death. It wasn’t very common, only three-fourths of the population succeeded in finding their soulmate. It was a rarity. A blessing, some called it.

Or a curse.

“Yeah..,” Eunjae’s voice trailed off, mind reeling. “I think so too.”

Miles turned his head to met her eyes through the mirror. “Do you know who it is?”

Shaking her head, Eunjae answered, “the only people I touched yesterday were you, and--”

Both of their eyes widened at the same time. Their voices bounced off the tiled walls as they spoke as one: “Bangtan.”

“Do you know what this means?” Miles picked his jaw back up from where it’d dropped to the floor. Shifting to stand behind her, he grasped her small shoulders in his hands. “One of the members of Bantan is your soulmate .”

“This is crazy.” Eunjae breathed.

“Holy shit.” Miles paused in his movements before his eyes met hers. “Which one was it?”

“I don’t know, Miles.” Eunjae winced. The pain from the harsh bruising on her face was beginning to get to her. “Honestly, the whole thing passed by in a blur. I touched hands with all of them yesterday.”

“Well, who touched your face?”

Eyes closed in thought, Eunjae ran back through the memories of the day before. Her lips parted in sudden realization. “Oh.”

“Oh? Don’t leave me hanging here.” Miles shook her shoulders in excitement. “ Who was it ?”

“J-hope.”

“I’d hate you if I didn’t love you so much.” Miles sighed dramatically before bouncing on the balls of his feet. “This is incredible! Wow, I’m so jealous, you have no idea. You’re soulmates with J-fucking- hope .”

“How am I supposed to find him?” The words blurted from Eunjae’s mouth as panic slowly started to set in. “What if they were only here for that one night and now they’re gone? If I don’t find him again--”

“Whoa, whoa, relax.” Miles eased, hands rubbing soothing circles through the material of her borrowed shirt. “We’ll just check online to see if we can find a schedule or something. Besides, I doubt that they’d just up and leave once they see the marks on J-hope. That’d be stupid.”

Inhaling through her nose, Eunjae slowly nodded at his words of reassurance. “Yeah, you’re right.”

“Exactly! I’m right.” He nodded vigorously, excited energy bouncing back. “I swear to God, you better introduce me. And if you don’t choose me to be the bridesmaid at your wedding, I might just have to disown you.”

At her lack of response, a frown pulled down the corners of his lips. “This is good news. So why do you look like that? You should be happy dancing with me.”

Shaking her head, Eunjae gripped the small bathroom counter with bruised fingers. “Do you know what this means, Miles?”

“Um, that you’ve won the soulmate lottery?”

“Miles!” She spun around, the corner of the counter digging painfully into her back. Eunjae stared up at him with panicked eyes. “We live in New York City.”

He tilted his head to the side at her words in confusion.

“They live in South Korea.”

“That’s-”

“I barely even speak Korean. They barely even speak English. They live in Seoul, South Korea.” The words poured from her mouth at a rapid fire pace, the reality of the situation starting to dawn on her.

Eunjae had spent practically her whole life in New York City. After the death of her parents at age twelve, she’d been sent to live with the only remaining blood relative they’d been able to get a hold of. Eunja’s grandmother on her mother’s side had been the only one that they’d gotten to take her in.

Eunjae could feel her chest tightening as her breath strained against her lungs. Mouth parting in panic, the room beginning to spin, walls pressing down against her. “South Korea. I can’t leave my grandmother, Miles. I’m all she has left. And what about school? The semester just started and--”

“Breathe, hunny.” Miles’ hands gripped the tops of her arms as he spoke calmly, guiding her face to his chest. “Count with me. One. Two. Three. Breathe in.”

Eyes closed against the dark spots entering her vision, Eunjae concentrated on the calming words murmured into the shell of her ear. Hands shaking, she ignored the pain in her bruised fingers and clutched at the oversized shirt of her best friend in an attempt to ground herself.

“There you go. In, one, two, three. Out, one, two, three. Everything’s going to be okay, I promise.”

“No it won’t.” Eunjae’s small, shaking voice strained past her lips. “Do you really think they’d let one of their members relocate to the states by himself?”

The cotton shirt pressed against her face dampened from her panicked tears and a sob caught in her throat. “Everything I have is here. I don’t want to leave.”

Miles’ arms wrapped around her shaking frame and, for once, he had nothing to say. All he could do was hold her steady in the growing light of his small, cold bathroom.