#I’m gonna try to not be ashamed of what I post just because it’s different from my normal fandoms

[astagsart]

guys I don’t really like marvel but the silly murderer and his pathetic sweaty hairy old guy got me in a chokehold at the moment (more under the break)

[rickydoodahgrimez]

𝞋𝞎 ─────── 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬

pairing: rick grimes x reader

summary: after you have given birth to your beautiful baby girl, you start to be insecure about your body, comparing yourself to other women. rick shows you how much he adores you.

warnings: pet names, swearing, dirty amount of fluff, insecurities, mentions of postpartum body

word count: 1.0 k

a/n: the last one shot of my valentine's day special :)) hope you guys like it. if one of you are feeling insecure about your post partum body, do not because you brought a beautiful child into the world with your beautiful body, so do not be ashamed :))

The world had ended years ago, but here you were, cradling the beginning of a new one in your arms. Your baby—your beautiful, perfect little girl—slept peacefully against your chest, tiny fingers curled into your shirt. 

She was everything, all the love and light you had left in this cruel world, but as you sat on the edge of the bed, exhaustion weighing heavy in your limbs, an ugly feeling crept in.

Your reflection stared back at you from the cracked mirror across the room. The soft swell of your stomach, the faint stretch marks that traced your skin like delicate lightning bolts, the way your body had changed in ways you hadn’t expected—it all left you feeling. . . less. 

Less than you were before. Less than the other women in Alexandria, the ones who still seemed untouched by the burdens of motherhood and survival.

You wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to silence the thoughts, but they only grew louder. You loved your daughter more than anything, but why couldn’t you love yourself the same way?

A quiet knock at the door pulled you from your thoughts, and then Rick was there. His blue eyes softened the moment they landed on you, taking in the baby tucked against your chest, the tired slump of your shoulders.

He approached slowly, careful not to wake her as he settled onto the bed beside you.

“What’s wrong, darlin’?” His voice was low, thick with concern. His hand came to rest on your thigh, thumb stroking absentmindedly over your skin.

You hesitated, not wanting to burden him with something that felt so small, so vain in comparison to everything else you’d survived. But the weight of it was suffocating.

“I just…” You swallowed hard, keeping your eyes trained on the baby instead of him. “I don’t feel like myself anymore, Rick. I look at myself and… I don’t know who I am. I see the way other women look, how they seem so—so whole. And I just feel… different.”

Rick was silent for a moment, and it made your chest tighten. You expected him to tell you you were being ridiculous, that there were bigger things to worry about.

But then, he reached for your hand, cradling it between his own, calloused and warm.

“You brought our baby into this world,” He said, voice thick with something unshakable. “You carried her, kept her safe when nothin’ else in this damn world is. And you think I’m gonna sit here and let you doubt how beautiful you are?”

Your breath caught as he cupped your face, tilting your chin so you had no choice but to meet his gaze. There was no hesitation in his eyes, no doubt—just the unwavering love that had kept you both standing through the worst of times.

“I don’t give a fuck about anyone else,” He murmured, pressing a slow, reverent kiss to your forehead. “It’s you. It’s always been you.”

Tears welled in your eyes, but before you could say anything, Rick carefully took your baby from your arms, cradling her against his chest. His movements were so gentle, so full of love, that it made your throat tighten. 

He walked across the room, lowering her into her crib with the utmost care, brushing a thumb over her tiny cheek before stepping back.

And then he turned to you.

“Come with me.” He said softly, holding out his hand.

You hesitated, but the warmth in his eyes made it impossible to refuse. You placed your hand in his, and he led you to your bedroom, closing the door behind you. 

Your heart pounded as he guided you toward the mirror, positioning you so that you were standing in front of it, your reflection staring back at you.

Your first instinct was to look away, to focus on anything else, but Rick was behind you in an instant, his hands coming to rest on your waist, holding you firmly in place. His lips brushed against your ear, voice low and intimate.

“Look at yourself.” He murmured.

You swallowed hard. “Rick, I—”

“Shh,” He hushed you gently, his lips pressing against the side of your neck. “Let me show you what I see.”

His hands moved slowly, reverently, skimming over the curve of your waist. “This body carried our daughter,” He said, his voice full of awe. “Kept her safe, kept her warm. That’s beautiful.”

His lips trailed lower, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. His fingers traced the faint stretch marks on your skin, as if memorizing them. “Every mark, every change… it’s proof of what you’ve done. What you’ve given me. What you’ve given her.”

Your breath hitched as he turned you slightly, his lips finding the inside of your wrist, pressing a soft kiss there. “These hands? They’re the same hands that held me when I was broken. The same hands that take care of her, that hold her close every night. And they’re beautiful.”

His hands moved again, sliding down your hips, gripping them gently as he kissed along the column of your throat. “And this?” His voice was rougher now, filled with something deeper. “These hips, this stomach, every part of you—you think I don’t love this?” He let out a quiet, almost disbelieving laugh. “Darlin’, I worship this.”

A shuddering breath escaped you as he turned you fully toward him, cupping your face in both hands. His thumbs brushed away the tears you hadn’t even realized were falling.

“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” He whispered. “You always have been. You always will be.”

And then his lips were on yours—slow, deep, full of everything he couldn’t say with words. He kissed you like he was afraid you’d disappear, like he needed you to understand just how much he adored you.

When he finally pulled away, his forehead rested against yours, his breath mingling with yours in the quiet space between you.

“You see yourself how I see you, just for a second?” He asked softly.

You nodded, unable to speak, and he smiled—a small, rare thing, just for you.

“Good,” He murmured, pressing one last kiss to your lips. “Because you’re perfect to me. Always.”

i'm fucking crying over this, rick is so husband material. this is the last of my valentine's day special :)) i hope you guys liked it, i'll be making a separate masterlist on 'valentines day specials' :))

[brackishkittie]

flatline, abby anderson

— abby anderson x black!reader

“I was out there on the road, life out of control.”

synopsis: due to the fact that your girlfriend is an extremely busy woman, you grow distant from her and she doesn’t know why until some events occur and now she’s too late.

c/n: angst, suggestive but nothing happens, mentions of sex, cursing, and abby being extremely oblivious like an idiot.

a/n: hi everyone. :) I’ve been gone for months and I finally got a bit of motivation and time to post. I don’t know if this’ll have a sequel or anything of the sort but we’ll see. also listen to the song while reading this. ( makes more sense when you listen. )

daily click | ways to help palestine | important tlou post

it was late. very late. abby hadn’t called nor texted you to update you about her whereabouts or how long she was gonna take to come back home, so naturally you were pissed. you looked at her location and saw it pinning towards her job. “of fucking course..” you mumbled to yourself. you called abby, the phone ringing for what seemed like forever. no answer. you try again, and again, and again..and then silence.. “hello?” she answered, sounding gruff and stressed. “abigail, what the actual hell are you doing?” you say, irritation clearly in your voice.

“I’m working, y/n. this is pretty a bad time. what’s wrong?” she sighs softly. there was never a good time. “what’s wrong? I’ll tell you what’s fucking wrong. you’re barely at home anymore. it’s rare that I even wake up to you in the bed next to me.” you say angrily, getting mad at the fact she made it seem like it was nothing. she remains silent as you put your head down in disbelief. “y/n I’m trying..but—” she finally says but you cut her off quickly, “you aren’t trying, abigail..you aren’t. you said last time would be the last fucking time that something like this were to happen and you’ve done it again? ” you pinch the bridge of your nose as you wait for her response.

“baby I..I promise I’ll try harder. I’ll take a week off for me and you.” she mutters, trying to make the situation better somehow. you think about it carefully before taking a deep breath and replying to her, “fine.” you reply monotonously, hovering your finger over the red button to hang up but abby starts speaking again, “that’s my girl. I love you.” she utters into the phone. you take a few seconds to respond but give in, replying with a small ‘love you too’.

the new week came pretty quickly. as you sat up in your bed, expecting to start your day alone again, you heard a groggy voice call out to you. “where are you going? come back to bed..” it was abby. you whipped your head around and looked at abby, who was now sitting up and rubbing her eyes. “morning.” she smiled at you, reaching over to you and pulling you into her arms. she places a gentle kiss on your forehead while rubbing your back comfortingly.“you’re here..thank you.” you whispered to her. “of course I am. anything for my girl.” she said. this is all you wanted. all you ever asked for. her time. as happy as you were though, it just didn’t feel the same..but she was here now and you were gonna make the most of it.

☆

you placed her plate of breakfast onto the table and sat down across from her. you watched her take a few bites of her food before her phone rang. you watched as she let it ring out twice but the call seemed inevitable. she finally picked up the call and went into a different room, leaving you alone. you sighed, realizing what was about to happen. she comes back about 5 minutes later, her face clear with guilt. “my boss called..he said I have to come in.” she muttered quietly. you clenched your hands and shut your eyes, not even asking if she told him no because deep down..you knew the answer. you would always be a second choice for her. “go.” you say sternly. “are you su—” you cut her off once again, “just go.”

abby rubs the back of her neck, feeling ashamed. “I’m sorry.” she says quickly before walking back into your shared bedroom and getting ready to leave and head to her beloved job. “un-fucking-believable..” you scoff, standing up from the table and heading into the living room. you fall back onto the couch, closing your eyes and sighing as you throw your head back in agitation. you were so angry and frustrated but at the same time sad and understanding. you knew abby cared a lot about her job and being a manager to a company is something you’ll never understand..but she would always pass up a chance to miss work. on weekends she would go in too, even if she didn’t have to.

it was a never ending cycle with abby and for some reason she just didn’t understand why you were so mad. the whole house felt so gloomy. there was so much tension and unspoken things that seemed to be lingering. abby came out the room and stopped to look at you, frowning slightly as she fixed her collar. “baby I promise I’ll try to make it home early tonight. I mean it.” abby bites the inside of her cheek while she waits for your response but all she’s faced with is silence. she takes a deep breath and grabs her keys, opening the door to leave but not before saying ‘I love you’ and closing the door. you feel your eyes sting, tears threatening to leave them. it might’ve been selfish but you missed when abby wasn’t a manager. back then, she used to make her schedule as flexible as possible to accommodate the both of you but now her schedule was just mainly work. everything was becoming too much and you were fed up.

☆

3 days had went by since then. barely any words had been exchanged between you two since you rarely see her and when you do, she’s “too tired to argue” and goes to bed. abby genuinely thought that you didn’t want to talk to her..at least civilly of course. she questioned a lot about why you were distant but never got the chance to ask you. you gave up on calling her and asking about where she was because you knew where she was. though this night was different. abby actually came home but..out of it? she seemed tipsy or almost completely drunk. she looked like she had been crying her eyes out for hours and when she spotted you on the couch, she basically lost it. “baby…” she murmured as she stumbled towards you. her hair was extremely disheveled and her breath reeked of alcohol. “abigail, are you drunk? how did you even get home? are you ok?” you bombarded her with questions immediately, standing up and inspecting her carefully.

“I’m fine. I had a co worker drive me home.” she looked away from you, obviously sounding ashamed of herself once again. “but don’t worry about me, I just wanna make things up to you..” she looked back at you before wrapping her arms around you and kissing you passionately. you almost gave in but pushed her off of you gently. “abby..no. I’m sorry but you can’t keep thinking that sex can fix everything…and you can’t keep brushing everything off like it’s nothing. you’re literally drunk and you’re telling me not to worry? forget about it.” you turn around and walk into the bedroom, abby following close behind you. “y/n, wait please. I can make it up to you a different way..I’m sorry.” abby sounds desperate now. her voice strained and raspy, you almost feel bad for her but you were at your limit. you grab a small bag and throw some clothes into it, as well as any other necessities you had needed and turned to finally face abby.

“abby I— I can’t do this. you don’t have time for me anymore and you always think that fucking me will magically make me forget about how you treat me. I’ve tried so hard make things work but every time I think you finally realize how I feel, you show me that you clearly don’t.” you pick up the bag swiftly and go to leave the room but abby blocks you. “y/n, baby, please..we can fix this..I can fix this.” she’s hysterical now. her face red and wet from her tears. you can tell she’s probably sincere but you were too angry to care. “it’s too late, abby. I’m done.” you move her off of you and shove past her. “I’m gonna stay by a friend. please don’t call me. I don’t wanna talk to you for a while..or at all. I’ll have the rest of my stuff out of here by the end of next week.” you look back at abby who looked so distraught yet wasn’t saying anything. abby had now realized what was wrong. not like she didn’t before but she had been oblivious to the severity of the situation and never bothered to actually have a conversation with you about anything.

you took up your car keys and left. abby rushed over to the front door and watched as you got into your car and drove away. and although you were pissed, abby was someone you expected to stay with for eternity. you two were together for so long that you would’ve never guessed that your rival would be her job. as you drove up to a red light, you could feel yourself slowly unraveling as you screamed in the car. you hit your steering wheel harshly as you cursed and wailed to your hearts content. you knew you still loved abby badly, but you couldn’t even keep up with her. despite the times you would see her, all she would do is eat, sleep, and leave for work. this was your breaking point. you heard the vibration of notifications coming from your phone and ignored it, continuing to drive even while wildly crying behind the wheel.

☆

when you finally pulled up to your friends house, composed and collected, you looked at your phone and felt your heart sink. abby called you over 10 times and only now had resorted to texting. you felt yourself gradually becoming reckless again as you read the few messages she sent you.

‘I’m so sorry. I feel like I just lost everything.’

‘we can work things out. I promise. please come home.’

‘I never meant to hurt you baby. I never wanted the relationship to end because of me.’

‘please respond. at least let me know that you’re ok.’

you can sense yourself getting sick by the second. you felt horrible. but if abby wouldn’t put you first, then you had to. you didn’t respond to her messages and for great measure, you made the harsh decision to block her. you had to stand your ground. you felt better. at least you thought you did. you made the right decision right? you couldn’t turn back now anyway. this was for the best.

tags: @softlysunrays @mariefilms @aouiaa 🎀 ( I love u guys )

[impishjesters]

Can you do Jax x reader who has a lot of insecurities about how they look and act in the real world and the digital one? And if not you can just ignore this 💕

Insecurities

warning(s): Jax (only slightly kidding), insecurities, mentioned dark humor to cope, minor bullying (Jax throws Zooble and Dangle under the bus on their appearance) note(s): I'm quickly learning that just like Jax, I'd probably be an awful human being to seek comfort in.. at least words of comfort... A/N: Realized more than halfway through writing that I wasn't sure if the request was separate hc's like knowing him before being yoinked into the digital hellscape and after or not... Feel free to toss another ask though and I can try some pre-digital hellscape hc's...however, I feel like they'd still be pretty similar to the post-digital hellscape reactions.

Jax is probably the last person to talk to when it comes to insecurities, real or digital

One time the topic of what everyone looked like before being sucked into the digital hellscape came up, but not everyone remembered, whether it was because they simply couldn’t remember or because they’d been there too long to remember

Jax’s response is never consistent. In one comment he’ll say he misses having long hair and was 5’4”, and the next comment is how he was actually bald and 5’10”

Now whether that’s him fuckin around or not is anybody’s guess

Currently, he’s got no real beef with his appearance, and he’s unapologetically himself digital or human. Now when it comes to you?

It can go a few different ways depending on how close the two of you are

Right out the gate, he’ll claim whatever toy-like appearance you’ve taken on can’t be any uglier than Zooble, which is like wow, harsh—they aren’t exactly easy on the eyes but that’s still a person with feelings…

He might even throw in a harsh comment about Gangle’s lack of a body, being ya know just ribbons… but hey! At least you have a body compared to her (Jax..that’s not helping..)

See what I said? Not the best person to go to with this sorta stuff

In the beginning, there’s always the gamble he might poke fun at your digital appearance and not really realize till later on that you were insecure about your appearance. (Whether it’s because someone else pointed it out or you flat-out told him.)

The closer the two of you get—friendship or romantic—he’s still an ass but once you’ve confronted him about your feelings and insecurities about your appearance, digital or human he knocks it off.

Nobody’s really voiced their complaints on what they ended up as here, at least not publically…

He’ll try to reassure you that you look fine, likely not understanding how deeply rooted something like insecurities can go and something like a “well I don’t think you’re ugly” isn’t gonna cut it.

Jax isn’t a sweet talker, or rather he doesn’t really sound all that genuine if he does, but he does try to put some emphasis that you really do look fine. (again, sweet but likely not helpful)

Now real world you? He wouldn’t know in the slightest, and while he could lie and say that the description you gave him wasn’t anything to be ashamed of, he’s not gonna do that to you (not that the appearance you gave him sounded ugly or anything).

Jax copes with dark humor and will without a doubt throw out some comment about how you won’t have to be insecure about your human appearance anymore because it’s unlikely any of you are getting out of here. (I’m sorry I’m laughing so hard because that would 15/10 make me laugh, dark humor is how I cope)

It’s not helpful (depending on the individual at least)

Oh! What about now you don’t have to worry about any acne or wrinkles?

Better? But is it really? Eh..

Overall he’s not particularly great at the whole reassurance about your appearance or how you act “I mean have you seen how some of the others act?” (Jax that’s not..helpful), but because you are someone important to him he’ll make the extra effort to listen to exactly what it is your insecure about and if you need him to reassure you he’ll do so

It might sound insincere but that’s just how he talks

On the off chance that you have a really bad day, it tugs at his heartstrings (yeah, he has those), he’ll pull you aside and give you little kisses over those places.

Insecure about something facial-wise? Face kisses.

You end up as a toy with too many legs and not enough fingers? Kisses (maybe not the legs though...)

When in doubt kisses and he’ll let you hug him or whatever, but breathe a word of this to the other’s and he’ll.. I dunno, prank you later or something. He'll have to workshop it.

Back to the act thing, I don’t personally know how someone would be insecure over that—but if you stim or anything of the sort Jax won’t really comment on it, but if someone else does? Poor them because they are about to get on the bunny’s bad side.

Gangle stims and as big of an asshole as Jax is, he’s never made fun of her for it.

[buckys-sam]

[Post TFATWS pre BNW]

--

Bucky had been to Louisiana before.

He’d helped fix up a boat there, sat on the dock with a beer in hand, laughed at Sam arguing with his nephews, eaten his fill of home-cooked food, even let the warmth of the place settle into his bones just a little.

But this time? This time was different. This time, there was no skirting around whatever this thing between himself and Sam had grown into.

There would be no pretending. No excuses.

Before, it had been easy to hide behind the work, to let the warmth of the sun and the ripples of the water mask the fact that something had already been pulling them together.

But now? Now everyone was gonna see it written all over him and that... that made something in Bucky’s stomach twist in a way he wasn’t used to.

He wasn't ashamed. He truly wasn’t - he’d made his choice. Sam was his choice, his only choice.

But Bucky hadn’t belonged anywhere in a long, long time.... and Louisiana? Louisiana wasn’t just some place. It was Sam’s place. His home - a place full of people who loved him, knew him and cared about him.

And Bucky? Bucky was walking straight into it with his heart on full display.

--

The plane finally touched down and Bucky sat silent, staring out the window as the marshes and open sky stretched beyond the runway.

Sam nudged him gently with his elbow. “You good?”

Bucky grunted, shifting in his seat. “Yeah.”

Sam snorted. “Yeah, that was real convincing.”

Bucky shot him a look. Butterflies raked iron claws along his insides but he ignored them. “I said I’m fine.”

Sam arched a brow, clearly disbelieving that response. Then his lips curved into that infuriating smirk Bucky loved so much. “You always get this tense before vacations?”

Bucky huffed, rolling his shoulders like he could shake it all off. It didn't work.

Sam’s grin widened. “Oh, damn. You’re nervous.”

Bucky’s scowl deepened. “I am not nervous.”

Sam grinned harder. “You totally are.”

Bucky sighed, dragging a hand down his face. “I fought in a world war, I got brainwashed for seventy years, I've taken on entire armies with my bare hands, and now I gotta—what? Worry about meeting your family like some kind of high school boyfriend?”

Sam bit his lip, trying hard to hide his amusement but his voice dropped and his eyes sparkled in an infuriating way. “You wanna hold my hand through it, Barnes?”

Bucky glared. “I swear to God, Wilson-”

Sam laughed, clapping a hand on his knee. “C’mon, man. It’s just Louisiana. You already survived it once.”

Bucky exhaled sharply, shaking his head. “Yeah, but last time, we weren’t... Ya know-”

He cut himself off, lips pressing into a thin line.

Sam’s expression softened just slightly. “Weren’t what?” he prompted, voice low, even and knowing.

Bucky didn’t look at him.

He didn’t need to. Sam knew what he was getting at.

Before, they’d been dancing around it - now there was no dancing. No hiding. No pretending they were just friends... Just a pair of men who happened to share space and time and nothing unspoken inbetween.

Now.... Everyone was gonna see it - Sarah. The boys. The locals who’d already given Bucky side-eyes last time, wondering who the hell he was to be hanging around Sam Wilson’s dock, and what the hell was up with that metal arm.

This time, there’d be no question.

This time, Bucky wasn’t just some guy helping to fix a boat.

This time, Bucky was Sam’s.

Sam must have seen it. The way Bucky was chewing on the inside of his cheek, the way his fingers curled tight against his thigh because he didn’t tease this time. He didn’t push. He just reached over, slid a warm hand over Bucky’s, steady and sure.

Bucky stared at it.

At their hands, right there in the open, no hesitation, no fear.

And Sam -damn him- just held on.

“You know,” Sam mused, casual as hell as he leaned close, “We could turn right back around, catch the next flight to New York, never leave this airport.”

Bucky snorted, shaking his head. “Yeah, that’d be real subtle. Besides, Sarah would kill us."

"She would," Sam grinned, squeezing his hand once before letting go. “You got this, Barnes. Louisiana ain’t gonna bite.”

Bucky exhaled, letting the tension in his shoulders loosen just a little.

Sam was right.

It was just a place.

Just people.

Just a home Bucky was stepping into, not running from.

And when Sam led the way off the plane, walking ahead with his bag slung over his shoulder, Bucky didn’t hesitate to follow.

[aishabellasbigblogofeverything]

The comments about Francesca Amewudah-Rivers make me so sad and angry, to see so many people bullying and slandering a young Black girl’s appearance yet again is just anger-inducing and saddening. So sad to wake up once again to the mass dehumanization, verbal abuse, and mockery of Black women, only this time, she has a different name and face. What did we ever do to deserve this vitriol, hatred, and mistreatment? It serves as yet another reminder that we are unaccepted, undervalued, and unappreciated by the world at large. No other woman gets treated this way but Black women, because the world does not acknowledge our beauty and femininity. So sad. And the worst part is that it’s both white people AND Black people calling her ugly and manly and unattractive. Like, take a good long look at yourselves, ask yourselves why you think a Black woman with unambiguous Black features, natural beauty, and kinky Black hair is unattractive. Is it because she doesn’t look like Zendaya? Or an Instagram baddie? Is that it? Like literally deadass right now if you think that this woman right here

is ugly or unattractive in any way then just fucking unfollow me right now. Hell, block me while you’re at it, too. She is a BEAUTIFUL BLACK GIRL and anybody treating her as if she is anything but is obviously just racist. And I don’t wanna hear your excuses like “it’s not because she’s Black, she’s just ugly, there are prettier unambiguously Black girls who could’ve played the role instead—” NO I don’t wanna hear that shit! And especially from other Black people? Y’all should be highly ashamed of yourselves. I guarantee that there are a lot of women and girls in your family who look just like Ms. Rivers. In fact, I guarantee that some of Y’ALL women look just like her! And instead of uplifting her as our community ought to fucking do, I instead see so many other Black people putting her down and calling her ugly and plain and saying that she doesn’t represent the majority of Black women and “even in Africa she’d be considered ugly” and trying to separate yourselves from her. Anything to justify your own racism and not look in a mirror and reflect on your own self-hatred. Truly embarrassing and shameful. And truly shameful that anybody would think that this attitude is okay. I expect white people to be racist, but seeing Black people not even have her back is just heartbreaking and depressing, all because she’s unambiguously Black and doesn’t even try to hide it. It’s so sad.

Literally leave her alone, she is a beautiful Black queen just being herself and I’m embarrassed that I even have to type up this post because some of y’all don’t know how to fucking act. Keep your damn mouths shut! Francesca is gonna get that bag and the rest of y’all making fun of her won’t have shit to say then. So zip it. 🤫

[girlboypersonthingy]

request for sal fisher x reader!! so idea one, coffee shop au, sal works at reader's fave coffee shop and they fall in lovee. or second ideaa reader is popular cheerleader who developes a crush on sal.

YEESSSSSSS FINALLYYYYYYY MY FIRST SALLY FACE REQUEST! I’m stoked rn 😆 I’m so in love with Sal, it’s not normal ✨ I’m obsessed with the barista x regular, daily customer trope, fuck yeah! Too cute! Enjoy~

TW: none really, just very fluffy and silly

Notes: Posted recently about how I wanted to write more fics where reader has a stutter bc I have a stutter so reader stutters in this fic 🥹 ah my heart is so full. Also, trying to write out how I stutter is very difficult…

UPDATE: part 2 is in the works!

Sal x reader- Coffee Shop AU ☕️💙

Coffee is a must. Coffee is a necessity. You just can’t function without it. So, of course that’s your first stop of the day every morning before you get started with your day. It’s worth getting up 30 minutes earlier just to sit and enjoy some caffeine and maybe a little snack while listening to music, checking emails, staring out the window, same old same old. It was a very repetitive start to your day…and you’re not sure if you like that or not. It is kind of nice to have a set routine every day and know what to expect each morning but…it’s quickly growing old. Maybe you should change up your drink order? Maybe sit in a different spot? Maybe both? We’ll see.

As you open the double doors of the coffee shop and step inside, warm air rushes up to you as does the smell of coffee, sweet syrups and savory pastries. Normally, you walk straight up to the counter, knowing exactly what you want. Depending on who takes your order, they even sometimes know your usual drink and know you by name. But today, you’re gonna change it up, remember? So let’s take a look at the drink menu, let’s look at the other food options too.

“Hey, (Y/N)! Morning! Just give me sec. I’ll be right with you.” A familiar voice calls out to you, a worker who you interact with often. He was nice, patient and polite. “Okay!” You stood up at the register now, patiently waiting as you tried to recite your new order in your head, making sure you get it all out correctly. Your phone buzzes, catching your attention for a split second. You glance down to check your notifications just as you hear that same familiar voice call out, “Sal! Sorry, dude. I’m trying to fix this faucet. Can you get that customer-“ And before the barista could continue, a deeper voice interrupted. “Yeah, I gotchu. No worries.”

As soon as this new barista was face to face with you, all thoughts of coffee went out the window. Wow. Geez. This is a lot to take in at once. His voice is…so nice. He’s got really cool hair. Is he…wearing a mask? Your eyes fell to his hands, his big hands with nails painted a deep blue color. Then you looked back to his face. His mask? His…face???

“Uh…you ready to order?” He speaks up, making you nearly gasp. “Y-yes, I’m sorry. Uh…can I get the w-….“ Just breathe. “Sorry, the w-w-“ The long pauses between your stuttering make him reach up and touch his cheek before softly mumbling, “It’s okay. It’s a prosthetic…if that’s what’s tripping you up.” He gestures to his face and now you’re blushing furiously, mostly because you’re embarrassed and a bit ashamed for staring but also holy shit, his voice is so nice.

“No, no! I’m sorry, I’m-m-“ And your confidence is slipping away every second you stand here, pathetically crumbling apart in front of this amazingly overwhelming stranger.

“Are you n-new?” You’re almost shouting now, unable to control your nerves. He nods, his blue hair shifting along with his movements. “I thought so. I mean, you’re doing great! I’ve just never seen you…before.” You notice his eyes squint, making you smile a bit. “Yeah, just started a couple days ago. I worked at a few different coffee shops before this so I kinda know the ropes. But, yeah this place is cool.” You nod along, nervously tapping your fingers on the counter. “Do you…usually work mornings?” You inquire, knowing that’s when you usually visit the shop. “Uh-huh” He nods again, leaning against the counter that separates you two. “Cool. Cool. Cool. Awesome. Then I’ll be seeing you often. I come in the m-m…early.” The way you cope with being stuck on a word, just using a synonym that is easier to say, earns a soft laugh from him, making your knees buckle under you because what a fucking cutie he is. Face or no face, doesn’t matter because everything else about him is so charming.

“So, uh…your order?” He pushes off the counter and looks at the computer screen in front of him, waiting for your response. You end up ordering your usual, excluding the food. You’re just too shaken up, too nervous, too excited to focus. Whatever. “And your name?” He finally looks back to you, and now you’re noticing his eyes. He’s got one bright blue eye and one that’s a more grayed out blue color.

“(Y/N).” You finally utter your name, watching as he writes it on your cup. “Cool. I’ll have it right up over there for you.” He points at the other end of the counter before walking off with your cup. Now, normally you’d go sit at the table in the corner near the big window but today, you just had to sit closer to where all the action took place. You were so intrigued by him, what a strange boy, not like anyone you’ve ever met before. You didn’t even know his name. Damn, you should’ve got his name…

“(Y/N)!” The same boy clouding up your mind calls out your name as he sets a cup down on the counter, staying in his spot as you shakily approach him. As you grab your cup, your eyes frantically search his shirt and apron for a name tag but there wasn’t one. “Have a good one.” As he turns, you panic and just blurt it out. “Whats your name?” And now your voice has him spinning on his heels, his hands quickly get shoved into his apron pockets. “Sal. Some people call me Sally.” And all you can do is stare again.

Sal. That’s nice~

“Thanks, Sal. I’ll see you tomorrow then, maybe?” “Yeah, same time, same place.” They eye contact lingers for just a moment and now it feels nearly impossible not to squeeze the cup in your hand and crush it completely, he’s just really getting to you right now. “Okay, cool. Have a good one.” As your voice begins to crack and betray you even further, you turn and book it out of there.

What a nice change in pace, though. Finally, something new, something different, something to look forward to. Someone to look forward to.

The next morning, you can’t wait to see him again. You want to know more about him, you need to hear his voice some more and, you must confess, you’re just dying to know more about his prosthetic and what’s underneath. Not that you’d ever rush him or pressure him into telling or showing you. But maybe you could casually mention it, test the waters…

“Morning, Sal!” You shout as you enter, heading right up to your new favorite morning person who’s already standing at the register waiting for you. “Good morning. The usual? Or are you switching it up today?” You could tell he was smiling under the prosthetic just by the way he spoke. “The usual, please.” He gets to work writing on the cup then suddenly turns away with it. “H-hey, wait! You didn’t charge me-“ “Yeah, I know. Don’t worry, it’s on me today.”

You’re a bit taken aback. “What? Why?” You ask with a small smile, watching as he shrugs. “You’re just really nice to me. I appreciate it.” And he’s off to work on your drink before the conversation can continue. You’re gonna have to literally cover your face with your hands to hide your sappy, goofy, love struck expression from him.

You sit at a table close to the bar where Sal is currently grinding up fresh espresso. Everything about him is so nice to look at- the way his arms move and flex as he works, the way he carefully tips his head to the side and wipes it against his sleeve to remove any sweat, the way he focuses as he pours your drink right to the top of the cup.

Soon after, he leans across the counter to set your drink down, his eyes watching as you saunter up quickly. “Thanks, Sal.” Is all you have the courage to say right now but Sal is starting to feel the connection too. He wants to know more about you too, wants to know why you seem so shy and flustered around him, why you’re so nice and polite to him when so many other customers treat him like a freak.

“Can I…sit with you for a bit? I’m about to go on a break.” Sal’s smiling so big under his mask at the stunned expression you’re wearing right now. “Of course! Sure!” Sal follows behind you as you walk to your usual table in the corner, slowly removing his apron. You both sit quietly for a moment.

“So, are m-most the customer not very nice to you? I mean, you said I’m nice to you but I figured I was just being as decent as most people.” Your voice has him stiffening up in his seat. “Yeah, I guess most people don’t take too kindly to blue haired, masked guys who are in charge of making their food and drinks.” “I thought it was a prosthetic?” “It is.” “Right.”

A short period of silence again. “So…what happened? If you don’t mind me asking.” He figured that question was coming soon but he didn’t think it would be this soon. Sal strangely feels comfortable with you though, like he’s known you for much longer than a day so he decides to take a chance on you, see how you respond.

“I was attacked by a dog. Well, that’s the easy version of the story.” With a nod and a consoling smile, you think it’s best to leave it at that and change the topic but Sal just keeps going. “I was uh…I actually…” But the words won’t come out, he can’t bring himself to say it. How does one casually mention they were shot in the face?

“Hey, I’m sorry I asked. Let’s just forget it.” A reassuring smile graces your lips as you watch him look down at his own lap. “I think more people have actually seen my face than heard the story of what happened to it.” “That’s okay. I won’t ask again, promise. And…I’m sorry about whatever you had to go through.”

Your sweet words of reassurance and comfort send his heart into an abnormal rhythm as his mouth suddenly goes dry. Why are you so fucking nice? He can’t handle how sweet and kind and nice and considerate and adorable you are. He’s like 99% sure you’re just really really nice but not into him romantically, and he’s 110% sure you’re waayyyy out of his league. He might as well give up now.

Most mornings, you saw Sal at work, sometimes you didn’t. The more you two interact, the more relaxed you find yourself becoming around him. But even then, you can’t help but feel like maybe you are just romanticizing these interactions. Sure, he’s nice but he’s at work, he kinda has to be. Yeah, he talks to you for a bit at the register but that’s kinda part of the job. Maybe you’re in over your head.

Regardless, you enter the store once again, smiling uncontrollably when you catch a glimpse of his blue hair as he rushes behind the counter. As the bell of the front door chimes, Sal’s head pops up as he looks over. “Morning, (Y/N). How are you?” He continues emptying the trash can in front of him as he looks back and forth between you and the task at hand. “I’m good. How are you, Sally?” A deep sigh leaves him as he lifts the crammed trash bag out of the bin. “Busy. Short staffed. Ready to go home.” All you can offer him is a pouty bottom lip and a hum of sympathy as you near the register. “Aww. I’m sorry. I’ll make it easy for you, okay? I’ll take my usual, here’s the cash for whenever you’re ready and keep the change. Take your time, too! I’m in no rush.” You slide your money across the counter towards him.

And at that, you go to your usual spot in the corner near the window, staring outside as you daydream. Not too long later, you’re startled by Sal setting your drink on the table in front of you. “Oh! Thank you. That was nice, you didn’t have to bring it all the way over here.” You look up at him and notice a change in his body language- he can be hard to read due to his deadpan prosthetic so you’ve learned to examine his body language and tone of voice as indicators of his mood. He’s not looking at you, instead looking out the window past you, he looks like he’s more closed in on himself, more unsure of himself. Weird…

“You okay, Sal-“ “I’m going on break! See ya later.” He zips off to the break room before you can get another word in. Geez, maybe he’s just having a really bad day. Maybe he just wants to be left alone. So, you decide to cut your stay short and get going. As you stand and reach out for your cup, you notice he had brought you a napkin too. Being the good person you are, you reach to grab it and take it to the trash but then you notice…Oh god…oh. my. god. No way. He wrote his NUMBER ON THE NAPKIN AND HOLY SHIT YOU MIGHT COLLAPSE DIE RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW.

You can’t help but glance up and towards the break room where Sal had just run off to, seeing him and his other coworker both peeking around the corner to see your reaction. With cheeks as red as pomegranate and a smile so big it hurts, you exaggeratedly stuff the napkin in your pocket before giving him a wave. “See you tomorrow, Sally~”

Don’t worry, as you walk out of the shop and start giggling wildly with your heart beating a million miles an hour, Sal is sliding down the wall in the break room as he clenches his shirt in his hand, literal heart eyes for you right now.

You haven’t even seen his face but you accepted his number? Shiiitttt…he’s got it baddddd for you.

[lordystrange]

I think it’s okay to ship Finn and Noah.

Please give me the benefit of the doubt. This is gonna be a long post.

I don’t think real-person-shippers are bad people, like some of you often insinuate (or blatantly state). Here’s how I view this:

We often tend to daydream about our crushes, right? Picture ourselves in situations with them, plan our lives and even analyze our dynamic and compatibility as a potential couple. We wonder if they like us back and/or how we could make them like us back. That even includes questioning the sexuality of the crush.

That’s shipping ourselves with this person.

We also do it with our friends. ”Ohh I wonder if this person likes you back… you two would be so cute together!”

So we also ship our friends with their crushes. (unless our friends have horrible taste)

Reading the possible/potential signs of mutual attraction is not only okay but necessary in the dating scheme.

Imagining you and your crush as a couple is also necessary, because that’s how you can learn if you’d even like the relationship and what exactly would it need for you to like it.

Why do we ship fictional characters? Byler for example. There are many answers, but let’s summarise it in ”We like their dynamic.” Just like we’d like the dynamic of ourselves with someone or our friend with someone.

Not all people are ”dynamics-enjoyers.” Not all people are shippers. But if you are, you can’t really help it. Certain dynamics are just so appealing to you. I’d say it’s natural.

We can’t control our thoughts but we can control what we say. I know there are a lot of Byler shippers who also ship Foah but don’t admit it out loud. Some of them are ashamed for it, some are just hiding from the bullies.

There is nothing wrong in finding Finn and Noah’s dynamic cute. There is nothing wrong in wondering if they’re together. There’s nothing wrong in wondering if it’s possible for them to be together some day. There’s nothing wrong in wondering if Finn is queer. (<- Before you wanna argue about that, check the disclaimers.)

Because there’s a difference between shipping and harassing. We can enjoy the dynamic and talk about it without it crossing the line.

What is the line, then? I’d say the line is when the people in question can’t ignore it. Here’s some examples:

A tiktok edit of cute Foah moments?

Ignorable.

A tumblr post analyzing Finn and Noah’s behavior around one another?

Ignorable.

A reddit comment saying ”Foah is so cute together 💕” ?

Very ignorable (it’d get downvoted so fast that they likely won’t ever see it)

But

Harassing their real life partners (if they got those) for ”forcing them into a relationship with them against their will?”

Can’t ignore.

Pestering them with questions about them everywhere they go together, making it uncomfortable for them to be seen together?

Can’t ignore.

Spreading your own interpretation of them like a proven fact, refusing to admit that you don’t actually know?

Can’t ignore. (there’s always people who won’t fact check and will just help spreading it)

Forcing them to come out?

Can’t ignore.

Commenting 25 GIFs of their characters kissing under every single instagram post they make? (iykyk 🙃)

Possibly can be ignored but I’d still find it disturbing.

One might argue that it’s easier to just draw the line in no real-people-ships at all, than trying to draw the line based on semantics and posting platforms.

But one might also argue that it’s easier to just not ship fictional characters either to avoid all complications it may cause.

I’m not one. I ship Byler and I ship Foah too. The extent of my shipping is different between those ships, since Byler is permanently renting room in my brain and Foah is something that comes and goes, but I find enjoyment in both dynamics. I know that my interpretations of the dynamics are just mine and I don’t expect others to see what I see, Noah and Finn themselves included, but if someone does see what I see, I’m happy to appreciate the ships together.

In conclusion: Shippers’ poor behaviour is not shipping. It’s just poor behaviour. Shipping is shipping and as such it’s okay.

Disclaimers you need to read before commenting:

I’m not saying that everybody should ship Foah/real-people-ships. I’m just saying that the ones who do so are not necessarily hurting anybody and therefore shouldn’t be shamed for it.

I’m also not saying that shipping real people is the good/right thing to do. I’m just pointing out that it’s not that different than any other ”form” of shipping.

I understand that there are a lot of different situations to which what I said can’t be directly applied to. We can discuss those, but there’s no need to intentionally come up with the most complex cases possible just to challenge me or ”prove me wrong.”

I know that me saying this might make people uncomfortable for various different reasons. Take your time!

This doesn’t excuse anyone who has been shamed by real-person-ship -antis to shame them back.

If someone manages to point out something I haven’t thought about and it ends up changing my mind, then I do.

I won’t lose my marbles if Foah never really happens.

Thank you for reading! Have a nice day! 💚

[ghouljams]

So- I bet you didn’t expect to be playing sexed teacher over the last few days, but I thank you immensely.

Also- to add onto the virginity thing from your last post.

There are some people who care about their virginity and want to save themselves for their future spouse.

Im one of them-

My religion is mainly what that’s based in, but also, I’m afraid of being vulnerable in that way with a man. I have a history of trauma and any assurance is comforting.

THAT SAID-

The idea that random people care so much about virginity is stupid- SO stupid to me. I have a value, I uphold it. You have different values, you uphold those. As long as no one is getting hurt- WHO CARES WHAT YOU DO?

GO FORTH AND PROSPER- GET DICK OR PUSSY- HAVE FUN.

Also- I thought it was the norm (or at least expected) for afab people to shave? Now I’m hearing is pedophilic? I’m so confused-

OK!!!! First I love playing sex ed teacher, it's one of my special interests. I'm just gonna run down the list hear to keep myself from rambling:

I think "saving" yourself for your spouse is fine, it's a personal decision whether or not to have sex. My only problem would be the language that we have surrounding virginity and the way that this can color how we view sex. I think it's really beautiful that you want to have something just between you and your partner. I think the idea that you're "saving" yourself like a good that'll go bad if you take the packaging off can impact the way people think about virginity. You get what I'm say?

That said I think the weight that people place on virginity is absolutely bonkers. Have sex or don't it's nobody's business but your own. There's no magical transformation that happens once you have sex, you just have sex, you're still the same person afterwards. Society puts so many rules on afab bodies, and I find myself constantly asking "who give a shit?" I certainly don't

It's not the "norm" for vagina owners to shave, it's just talked about more prevalently, it's actually more common for people to go all natural. This is again where media has a huge part to play in our perceptions of our bodies, most people don't shave their bush but you wouldn't know that if you were only exposed to female bodies through porn/movies/media propaganda.

The pedophilic argument was one I saw ages ago that was a direct reactionary backlash against the people(men) who were demanding afab people shave their bush in order to be attractive. People(terfs) claimed that the act of shaving, or having a shaved pussy, was somehow harkening back to kids because they don't have pubic hair so anyone who prefers pussy without hair must be a pedophile. Which is just so fucking stupid. I shave for no reason other than I like the way it feels when I wear silk panties. 10/10 would recommend.

But anyway this is what I'm talking about (the shaving thing) when I say I think a lot of sexuality stuff we see today being blasted into our brains by reactionaries on tiktok/twitter/insta is a direct result of early 2000s culture. There's also a lot of "loudest voice from the smallest minority" that happens when we talk about sex. Certain groups will make what sounds like good points, and people will go "yeah that sounds right" without examining what motives this group has.

People talking about porn addictions are often trying to sell you some brand of "you're not doing a good enough job as a woman pleasing your man" or else spit some weird bullshit about "sex workers are bad and evil and they're corrupting our god fearing men." People who talk about how going down on men is demeaning are trying to draw a line in the sand to make you ashamed of your sexuality for one reason or another. People who talk about virginity in terms of "this is an important part of your body" are usually trying to make afab folks ashamed of their body(notice how virginity doesn't really apply to men).

My MO has always been: your body, your choice. Do whatever you want to yourself and your sexuality it's not my business and I do not care.

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

Hi! Cause you forced me to acknowledge how many damn WIPs I have (rude) I shall now send you an ask about yours 😌 So I'm gonna be super shameless and predictable and ask about that one Spite Lucanis x Rook fic I spy in there 👀👀👀

from this tumblr game thank you!! :)

ahahahaha well. this was indeed a character exploration about Spite's involvement in Rook/Lucanis' relationship but uhhhhhhh taken to the logical and less favorable conclusion than i have seen in fanfic so far, hence the word "interruption" in the title 😂 posting a longer snippet because... really i've just been writing random scenes for their relationship and am not sure if/when/how i will structure it into fanfic yet (handful of one shots? a longer thing? i am so low on free time though 😭 idk)

timing is after the romance lock-in but before the act 3 romance scene, so Rook & Lucanis are together as a couple but haven't slept together yet... though they may have been heading that way before Spite decided to get involved. under a readmore for length!

STOP, Spite suddenly roars, surging forward from the back of Lucanis’ awareness. The demon’s wings burst forth, their first downward stroke hard enough that it sends him reeling backwards, away from Rook. “What?” he cries, and “—what?” Rook echoes in sudden alarm, as their bodies tumble apart, Lucanis barely managing to throw out an arm to brace his fall as he crashes to the stone floor of the pantry. His feet tangle in his discarded waistcoat and trousers as he leaps back to his feet, nearly sending him to the floor for a second time.

He looks around wildly, for the attackers or whoever else is responsible for Spite’s sudden disquiet. But there is no one. No demons, no Antaam pulled into the Fade, not even one of their companions wandering too close on accident. He fumbles at the table for one of his knives anyway, trying to listen, to figure out where the danger is coming from. “What’s going on? Spite, what happened?!”  There, Spite says, all calm satisfaction now. If you kept going. She would have come. Now she wants more. “She—excuse me? Spite, what are you talking about?” Lucanis demands. She will think about you all night now, the demon replies happily. If you kept going. It would have been over. “I—why would you do that?! That’s not how it works!” “What’s he saying? What’s going on?” Rook stands in front of the bed, frantically staring around too, searching for enemies that clearly never existed. Her hair is still rumpled from where his hands had tangled in it, her breaths still coming fast and heavy.  He cannot believe he has to not only sit here, disgraced and ashamed, but he is left alone in actually explaining what’s happened. “Mierda. He did it on purpose. He thinks it’s—fun. To stop us.” He presses a hand over his eyes, taking a deep breath. “Spite—ohhh. Oh.” “I’m going to kill him,” Lucanis says flatly. “I’m going to take myself out back and—” I’m RIGHT, Spite howls in defiance, baring his teeth inches from Lucanis’ face. Despite himself, he flinches back. You wanted. Her to think about you. MORE! “No, stop that, it’s fine,” Rook tries to soothe him, her hands scrabbling to re-fasten her tunic around her waist. As though this catastrophe is something she can just brush off. “I guess we should figure out, uh, how Spite—how you and he—” “I can’t talk about this,” he mutters into his palm as he drags his hand down his face, dropping to sit back down on the cot again.. “This is not happening.” He knew Spite was a part of him. He was resigned to his presence, was growing used to the new precautions his life involved. He even, though he hated to admit it to himself, enjoyed the extra momentum and power the demon brought when they fought against enemies. What he hadn’t considered was the demon barging into the personal, intimate—   You did it BEFORE, the demon sulks. And it WORKED. She wanted to kiss you more because you stopped. “That was different,” he snaps in response. He ignores Rook’s baffled expression at his half of the conversation.  “I mean—he is Spite,” I guess, Rook acknowledges. “Uh, maybe I should leave you two to talk about this together?”

Panic surges in his chest, as he bites back his urge to shout No! at the suggestion. But she doesn’t deserve to half-witness the mess of the argument he’s already having. He was an idiot. He should never have assumed something might be going right in his life for once. “I don’t even know what to say to him,” he can’t help saying in exasperation. “He doesn’t listen, just does—whatever he wants.” What YOU wanted! You SAID it! I was only HELPING. “Well. You said you didn’t have much experience with, um, relationships—” “I don’t think this counts as the kind of experience anyone has, Rook,” Lucanis responds, dropping his head into his hands again, elbows resting on his knees. “I can’t exactly stop him from—he sees what I see. What I… feel.” Admitting it fills him with shame. He should have told her before this. Whether or not she’s guessed, there’s no avoiding it now, or pretending anything in his life could ever again be normal. Simple.  “No, I just meant—maybe try to explain it to him, is all.” Rook sighs, and he can hear the shift of fabric over skin as she tugs her clothing back into place. He wonders if she can see the bright flush of shame to his skin behind his hands. “He’s only got your memories for how to interpret the world,” she continues. “Maybe he… misunderstood something.” He doesn’t want to tell her that Spite probably understood more than he did himself. Lucanis certainly hadn’t realized just how close she’d been to—he shakes his head to clear away the thought.  “You two will figure this out,” Rook says, with a firm conviction he does not mirror. She leans forward and kisses the top of his head, but he can’t bring himself to raise his face to meet her gaze. “I’ll see you at dinner later.” He hears her soft footsteps pad to the door, and slip away, out of the kitchen and back to the other parts of the Lighthouse. Maybe if he never leaves the pantry, he won’t ever have to think about this again. Maybe she’ll forget the whole thing ever happened.  Won’t forget, Spite cackles gleefully. Definitely. Won’t forget.

[nihilistem]

Hey! I read your study tips both posts regarding adhd . (Feel free to ignore )

I am still undiagnosed and I think it's adhd but i do not have the resources nor the environment or support system to do anything about it .I am a high schooler preparing for entrance exams and i really need to like get my shit together and i feel like i have wasted sm time already but i really do want to get better. When i sit to study i just can't focus if I keep my phone in some other room then also i would just sit and stare at my books without accomplishing something. I am trying really but it's feels like my brain is frozen and my body is moving .my brain keep screaming guilty and ashamed but i can't seem to do anything about it.your study post actually i related to a lot because pomodro kind of seems to be working for everyone but me and the you described the exact same things I do

I know this is a lot to ask for please feel free to ignore but how do I stop Letting my emotions take over and study consistently because I only have one chance at the exams

Oh my, first of all I’d like to say that, as cliché as it is, I know exactly how you feel. I was undiagnosed for so long (I was only diagnosed a few months ago) and I didn’t even know that the adhd things I experience on a regular basis wasn’t normal or neurotypical for so long.

first up : I know this is difficult, but please do not say such things about yourself. I’m not gonna get into the whole thing, (cuz I have done a post on that already) but it’s true that the more you drill that bad stuff into your brain, the more it’s gonna stick. We need our brains to be in the best condition possible to study efficiently and saying bad stuff about yourself that isn’t even true is just going to hinder your performance. You got this. I promise you’re not lazy. Your brain just isn’t motivated by the same things others are, but we can work with that simple difference.

I’ll make a separate post on how not to let your emotions take over, but for now …

adhd study tips for those trying to get into the habit.

— by a stem student with adhd.

here’s my first post on adhd study tips.

— don’t put your phone in a different room. Instead, download an app that prevents you from using other apps on your phone.

there’s plenty of apps that do this but the one I prefer is ypt because all its features are completely free and it stops your timer when you exit the app unless you enter ‘allowed app mode.’ I don’t know about you, but if I find that I’m just zoning out on my textbook then I end up stopping my timer and deleting the record because I know I didn’t actually study, and this motivates me to actually get some work done. The timer also gets me motivated to keep going for longer so I have physical proof of my focus time and studies. It will feel good to even have just 1 hour of study time on it, I promise.

— even if you’re not interested in your studies, try your best to find even one thing that interests you.

novelty, challenge and interest are some of the best motivators of the adhd brain, so use it. I know that sparking your curiosity for a subject you hate seems impossible, but hear me out.

ever since I was young, I was exposed to books and I drew everyday. This caused me to become very passionate about the arts, but since I had adhd and didn’t know, I failed all my classes and specifically hated chemistry because it was specifically designed to be everything that I can’t be good at due to my poor memory and the need to memorize a TON of concepts. Then during class one day, I was doing chemistry work with my friends and felt frustrated that they could easily balance equations and work out which compounds were acids or bases purely by its chemical formula. And that’s what sparked me to start reading my textbook to see what the big deal was. How was it possible for one to just know when something is a acid solely from looking at a bunch of letters? This started a chain reaction; I found my answer, and found that the process of finding my answer and learning this new information was fulfilling. So I looked at all the other chemistry topics, and it turns out chemistry was fun. I was supposed to be an art student but now I’m majoring in chemistry and biology, all because of that sense of challenge and curiosity I was given that day.

tdlr; I was bad at chemistry but I’m now majoring in it because I felt challenged by a friend and was curious to know how they could solve chem equations easily.

All it took was a bit of curiosity. It’s a very powerful thing to the adhd brain. And if you use this as a motivator for your studies it might even cause you to hyper-fixate on your work, which means you’ll naturally spend more time studying just to find all the answers you’re now dying to know.

— use the pomodoro timer, but think about the things that you have to do that seems a little impossible to do under 25 minutes.

This fulfills the ‘challenge’ category I mentioned in the previous tip.

Let me explain; I subconsciously started doing this to myself without anyone telling me this and it’s helped me a LOT. Here’s an example;

“This chapter’s too long, it’s impossible to read through everything and understand the key concepts in just twenty five minutes.”

is it, though?

So I was off to the races, genuinely reading through every page and taking note of every single heading or bold or italicized word so I will be able to summarize the entire topic by the time the twenty five minutes is up.

And it doesn’t even matter if you don’t make that twenty five minute mark, because you’ll feel a sense of defeat and try it again with another chapter/topic.

this accomplishes two things; one, the work you’ve been putting off or zoning out on is now probably 20% - 50% completed and now you feel motivated to continue. Two, this method will train you to be faster in learning or studying new material or even just completing work in general, depending on what you’re challenging yourself to do.

— dress up, do your hair, study at a library or cafe you love (and possibly make pretty notes.)

I’ve talked about interest, I’ve talked about challenge, and now I’m gonna talk about novelty.

Do this with purpose! But what do I mean by that?

I’m sure you’ve come across studious girls in media or even people on social media making videos and taking pretty photos of their day out to study. Usually they’re dressed the part and even if they’re not, there’s a certain vibe, aesthetic or aura about them that is just so desirable that it makes you wish you were doing what they were doing. And if you don’t feel this way, find content creators or media that do make you feel this way.

How will this help me? Well, there are actually a few reasons but the first one that comes to mind is that this is also an adhd tip used outside of studying. Combining a task you don’t want to do with a task you’d like to do is a faster and more efficient way of convincing yourself to do long, difficult or even tiring tasks. Another is that doing this would also mean you’ve technically gotten yourself to desire studying, something more commonly known as romanticizing studying. If you make studying look fun, glamorous or even desirable for yourself then you’re sure to get to the hideous parts of it. Think about being a straight A student, someone who’s always wearing nice clothes with great hair and such a focused work ethic. Once you desire to be that person and you dress like that person, you’ll start to do the things that person will do.

— use the pomodoro timer but set it to even shorter bursts instead. (e.g. 15 minutes work, 5 minutes break.)

Or hell, on my worst days I set it to 5 minutes work, 5 minutes break.

The whole point of this exercise is to just start, because that’s arguably the hardest part about studying, you can’t get yourself to actually start or to actually focus. So promise yourself a five minute break after a very short amount of time of reading.

— skip straight to the questions of a topic, try to do them and identify the information you need to get the answer right.

For example, I came across a bio question that was rather simple but I didn’t know the answer to because I haven’t revised the topic for a while, and the question was, what is needed in the body for anaerobic respiration to take place? And the answer was simple, but I didn’t know because again, I didn’t study the material before answering the paper.

one’s brain can have the habit of being complacent especially when you don’t wanna do work, so diving head first into the questions and realizing that you don’t know jack shit would be a good wake up call for you and your brain—and this can connect to the second point that I made because you might find that you’d be eager to get the answer right all on your own, and become curious as to what the answer is.

important to remember …

erase everything bad that you were told or led to believe about studying. I promise that if you look for ways to make it engaging for you and form a habit, studying can be something you don’t dread or worry about everyday. You are capable. This is the start of your journey. Yes, the question of ‘what if I get distracted again’ will always be there but think about what could happen if today is the first day you’re not distracted. If you don’t at least try to start now, you will have zero chance of being able to actually focus and study. But if you try, the worst that will happen is that you tried. If you keep trying, it will happen. I promise.

If you need any more tips regarding adhd, (or being undiagnosed,) please do let me know. I’ll do my best to help.

[bravo4iscool]

girl, I’m not gonna lie to you, I have some free time, and sometimes I really like to use it uselessly. and I found your ig account, then I did some other research and I found a lot about you and your family, so I could really rate you. And yes, I can say properly: you’re ugly.

now, you're kinda right, I give you that. some fit guys do like fat women, maybe one guy out of ten. but these are REALLY PRETTY WOMEN, 'cause I don’t deny that there are beautiful fat women, but they are usually rare, and that’s definitely not you.

I’m not seeking validation wtfff has nothing to do with anything, girl… you seem stupid. I just really found your behavior hilarious. like, how the false illusion of the new age got you, making you really believe in fairy tales. I mean, you're clearly so insecure, trying to pass as “I’m fine with my weight” while really trying to convince yourself that you’re desirable. and like, you’re not 😭 and it’s so fun when you talk about validation, because, you see, I may be petty or bitter or mean, or whatever it is. but, if you really felt confident, pretty, and good about yourself, you would just turn off the anon or ignore me. but no, you’re here, writing answers so you can post and be consoled. that’s how I know you feel pathetic and horrible about yourself, and need these other weirdos to help you fool yourself. you can ignore me, or reply me, it won’t make difference. you too fucking transparent, so easy to read.

or you wouldn’t be doing headcanons of really fit men attracted to you, because if you were desirable and if you really felt that way, you would just know, and not try to reaffirm yourself along with other equally UGLY FAT GIRLS. the main thing here is how out of touch you are with reality. close the tumblr, go to a nice spot in your town, where you KNOW there are hot guys, and please record yourself being chosen by them. if you're so sure of yourself. and open your instagram account, since you have nothing to hide and being ashamed. I mean, you’re pretty right? lol

y’know i’m not doing this cuz i’m insecure💀 also, i never said those hc’s were about me LMAO. i’m very aware that he and every other cod character is fucking fictional💀. this is just my hobby😗✌🏼.

also, why are you so keen about finding out about my personal life? wtf do i have to do with you? it’s fucking creepy to stalk my ig and all that💀. who tf do you think you are?

the only one being pathetic here is you, because you’re out here insulting me via anon haha. at least grow the balls to confront me correctly lol.

but yk, your stupidity and insecurity is pretty hard to ignore. you can have your opinion about me but let me be. i didn’t ask you for it lmao. also, i couldn’t care less about your opinion. you can think i’m ugly, idgaf, but stop annoying me with it.

and idk if you know but talking down on other people has to do with one’s insecurities, so maybe you’re the insecure one here😘.

and yes, i’m fine with my weight. i’ve come to terms with it, since i can’t change it without a medical intervention. is it so hard to believe that someone overweight actually accepts that fact or what? it says that says a lot about you actually.

also, i’m posting this so people can see that there are, unfortunately, still people with the iq of a fucking brick out there. i couldn’t care less about what they tell me. as i said, i’m perfectly fine on my own.

i’m actually laughing writing this because i won’t ignore you. people like you should rethink their life choices ngl.

you’re going crazy over a tumblr post and start to insult me as fat and ugly and you started to fucking stalk me. you’re being the prime example for insecurity rn💀.

your messages can get as long as you want them to be, i will respond to them because it’s sad people still think like you.

there are people out there saying all things about cod or ghost or whoever. if i don’t like them, i scroll, but i don’t start insulting and stalking the author of that post/headcanon/fic or whatever.

grow tf up and get a helmet💀.

[enterstellars]

okay hiiiii i’m gonna post about something i never post about on here so yippee for being vulnerable i guess??? read the tags for triggers though and if i missed one let me know

anyway. okay hi so like. my relationship with drinking is Not Good. like tbf it used to be way worse and this doesn’t sound awful but like isn’t great ya know? but i’ve cut down to two drinks a night but it just depends on whether that’s wine or beer or vodka or tequila or whatever. and of course i try to stay with two drinks but it can easily turn into more. and straight up i’m just…i get home from work, i eat and around 7 im like “cool i can finally drink” so i’ll make a drink and off we go.

anyway i went to the doctor today and he’s new and was asking me of course about my habits and when the drinking came up he was like “hmm you seem pretty ashamed about it” and i was like yeahhhh :/ and he was like “so if i came home and took all the alcohol out of your house and said don’t drink for two weeks, could you do it or would you go out and buy more?” and like. let me tell you it fucking sucked and i tried to justify it bc i do have grape juice or whatever that i could scrape by with the first couple nights but then like. I’d easily go out and buy something.

and like idk hearing myself say that was Not Great and kind of a bit of a wake up call. the doctor’s suggestion was to start weening off of drinking every night and going to like. every other and then you know down from there until it’s no more and then we’ll assess it when i haven’t had any in a minute of what limits i can go to cause like. its not even a craving it’s literally just habit at this point (which still isn’t good) so like. idk.

i mean i’m definitely going to do that cause i’ve gained a lot of weight over the past two years (which is really when the drinking kicked up especially with all the trauma i was going through) but like. fuck me it’s gonna be hard. because it really is kicking a habit, not necessarily an addiction ya know? but also what’s the difference lololol but like i started drinking cause trauma and then it tastes good and then it helped me fall asleep (and that’s not an easy task) so like. idk it’s not “ruining” my life per say but with how much i’m drinking it’s not helping me be healthy either.

but like i’m not gonna go to an aa group or something like that that’s faith based because that ain’t me. so like. idk any tips or tricks would be helpful. i’m gonna start exercising more too which will also help with cause there was a point in my life where i was working out regularly and drinking some drinks but it wasn’t like. affecting me i guess as much as it is now? so like. essentially the reason we’re going sober first is to get back to regular healthy routines and then go from there ya know? but yeah idk it’s just. me trying to break a habit is so so not easy so i’m really nervous and scared but whatever i guess? I wanna get healthy so that’s what i gotta focus on

[lover-sy]

WHAT I DO WHEN I’M ON MY PERIOD

୨☕���୧

Hi, hii! Today’s post isn’t random because I started my period yesterday and I also got sick so my energy is really drained and I want to share a few tips to maybe help some of you! ( this is the 2nd time I’m writing this so I’m a bit annoyed )

— HYDRATION : you gotta drink A LOT of water during your period. Hydration is already so important as it is but during your period it’s 10x more important

— TEA : first of all shoutout to all my tea girlies. Then, I love drinking tea ( without caffeine!) because it not only makes my cramps better because of the warmth and since i often drink peppermint and ginger ( which is really good during your period ) but i also just convince myself that tea will make me feel better so it does. ( it’a all about the mindset )

— POSITIVITY : I always try to see the good in things which also includes my period. As i told SOME PEOPLE I imagine it as the blood of my enemies.. not i’m kidding. I just tell myself that I can grow a whole human and that it’s gonna be over soon. This isn’t temporary so I shouldn’t complain because I can’t change anything about it by complaining ( I tell myself that with a lot of things. Complaining never helps )

— EATING : I try to get as many vitamins in as possible with veggies, fruits and nuts but fish and chicken is also very good for you!

— VITAMINS/SUPPLEMENTS : i only eat chicken as meat so i’m deficient in a lot of vitamins so i have to take a lot of the most important one during your period is magnesium. Even if you eat a lot of food containing magnesium ( mostly nuts ) you should consider taking some magnesium supplements

— REST : this is the key to not passing out in this week of suffering. Sleep a lot and limit your physical activity ( I’m sorry to my athletes out there. ), instead of going to the gym and doing heavy workouts stay in bed and read a nice book or do chores around the house ( also has you moving )

— MOVE : very contradictory but yoga and a bit of walking can never do harm, i love walking during my period because it makes me feel like I did something but it also doesn’t leave me completely drained from all energy.

— WARMTH : tea, warm baths, heating pads and pets ( my cats keep me warm <3 )

— DISTRACTION : this may differ from person to person but I need a lot of distraction especially when I’m just laying around in bed so I usually read a very captivating book to focus 100% and forget about the pain.

— PEOPLE : I stay in my dark room and when I’m in school talk less because I’m worried that I’ll snap at people but I usually tell my friends that I’m on my period or they figure so there isn’t any misunderstandings

— REMINDERS : you can’t do anything about the fact that you get periods, they’re normal and you shouldn’t feel ashamed about them. People who make you feel that way about them are childish. You weight may vary so don’t panic! ( i don’t weight myself during my period because it’s not my real weight so it’s of no use! ). Your energy is already low so try to stay calm and not waste it on unnecessary things or people. Drama can wait for when you’re ovulating.

[luvuwite]

i wanna thank you for, what i guess i’ll call your “curl confidence”. what i mean by this is, thank you for always being so proud of your curly hair as well as drawing curly hair in general so much. growing up as someone with VERY curly hair naturally, i loved my hair, but i felt ashamed of it because it was different from everyone else’s hair and i even got made fun of for my natural hair unfortunately. in current times, seeing you be so open about your curls (as well as other artists too) has been really inspiring and it helped me see the good in my hair again too :) i hope you take this as a good thing to hear and not a stressful thing, but, even though i’m not much younger than you, you are such a great role model luvu. you’re inspiring on so many levels, you’ve been doing so many great things as you’ve grown through the past years, you’re a great, kind, and funny person, and you just have this energy that’s so welcoming and encouraging, i’ll always thank you for that. 🙏💚⭐️

this post is gen about to make me start crying man ;_; im gonna go on a lil yap post so im sorry </3

i always grew around girls who were yk. WHITE and had straight hair, so in mid school, all i knew is that it puffed up and i didn't like it and i liked it straight because it made me ""prettier"", then one day when i went to PR with my family, my mom used this cream in my hair and suddenly it was defined to ALL hell, and i never realized i had curly hair until like months after that, and eventually i started digging into "curly hair" products to use

let me tell you, it took many haircuts/trims and many products to truly have my hair the way it is now. and even with my hair as it is, i can't do many things like other people because it damages my curls, and knowing how hard i worked to make it come out the way it is, i just dont want to undo all that hard work my HS self put in to get it to how it is now

seeing messages like this really does warm my heart, because it truly makes me remember when i would draw myself and try to portray myself as those other girls when that just wasnt who i was or what i looked like, and it makes me feel so heartwarmed being able to be that representation that y'all needed to feel confident in that stuff, because it's something i needed as a kid as well, im so grateful to have such a loving community and this post really speaks to me :'( thank you so much man i appreciate y'all so fuckin much

[sigynpenniman]

I swear to god tiktok speak is going to make me violent what the fuck do you mean girls are uploading videos of them struggling to hammer in nails and do other extremely simple home renovation tasks with the caption “when you try do a blue chore” what the fuck is a blue chore are we for real gonna go back to blue is for boys and using hammers is for boys. I’m just a girl so I’m pink and I’m just not strong enough do blue chores! Oh my god please stop it stop it stop it if you don’t know how to do DIY it’s FINE there’s NOTHING wrong with that everyone has different skills and most people haven’t had the opportunity to learn how to do most of those DIY type things if you don’t know how to safely hang a TV there’s absolutely nothing to be ashamed of but for the love of god do not post a video of yourself cutely struggling with a construction task and caption it “I should have known not to try and use tools because tools are for BOYS and I’m just a stupid little Pink Girl” what the FUCK