#I’m gonna try to not be ashamed of what I post just because it’s different from my normal fandoms

[astagsart]

guys I don’t really like marvel but the silly murderer and his pathetic sweaty hairy old guy got me in a chokehold at the moment (more under the break)

[brackishkittie]

flatline, abby anderson

— abby anderson x black!reader

“I was out there on the road, life out of control.”

synopsis: due to the fact that your girlfriend is an extremely busy woman, you grow distant from her and she doesn’t know why until some events occur and now she’s too late.

c/n: angst, suggestive but nothing happens, mentions of sex, cursing, and abby being extremely oblivious like an idiot.

a/n: hi everyone. :) I’ve been gone for months and I finally got a bit of motivation and time to post. I don’t know if this’ll have a sequel or anything of the sort but we’ll see. also listen to the song while reading this. ( makes more sense when you listen. )

daily click | ways to help palestine | important tlou post

it was late. very late. abby hadn’t called nor texted you to update you about her whereabouts or how long she was gonna take to come back home, so naturally you were pissed. you looked at her location and saw it pinning towards her job. “of fucking course..” you mumbled to yourself. you called abby, the phone ringing for what seemed like forever. no answer. you try again, and again, and again..and then silence.. “hello?” she answered, sounding gruff and stressed. “abigail, what the actual hell are you doing?” you say, irritation clearly in your voice.

“I’m working, y/n. this is pretty a bad time. what’s wrong?” she sighs softly. there was never a good time. “what’s wrong? I’ll tell you what’s fucking wrong. you’re barely at home anymore. it’s rare that I even wake up to you in the bed next to me.” you say angrily, getting mad at the fact she made it seem like it was nothing. she remains silent as you put your head down in disbelief. “y/n I’m trying..but—” she finally says but you cut her off quickly, “you aren’t trying, abigail..you aren’t. you said last time would be the last fucking time that something like this were to happen and you’ve done it again? ” you pinch the bridge of your nose as you wait for her response.

“baby I..I promise I’ll try harder. I’ll take a week off for me and you.” she mutters, trying to make the situation better somehow. you think about it carefully before taking a deep breath and replying to her, “fine.” you reply monotonously, hovering your finger over the red button to hang up but abby starts speaking again, “that’s my girl. I love you.” she utters into the phone. you take a few seconds to respond but give in, replying with a small ‘love you too’.

the new week came pretty quickly. as you sat up in your bed, expecting to start your day alone again, you heard a groggy voice call out to you. “where are you going? come back to bed..” it was abby. you whipped your head around and looked at abby, who was now sitting up and rubbing her eyes. “morning.” she smiled at you, reaching over to you and pulling you into her arms. she places a gentle kiss on your forehead while rubbing your back comfortingly.“you’re here..thank you.” you whispered to her. “of course I am. anything for my girl.” she said. this is all you wanted. all you ever asked for. her time. as happy as you were though, it just didn’t feel the same..but she was here now and you were gonna make the most of it.

☆

you placed her plate of breakfast onto the table and sat down across from her. you watched her take a few bites of her food before her phone rang. you watched as she let it ring out twice but the call seemed inevitable. she finally picked up the call and went into a different room, leaving you alone. you sighed, realizing what was about to happen. she comes back about 5 minutes later, her face clear with guilt. “my boss called..he said I have to come in.” she muttered quietly. you clenched your hands and shut your eyes, not even asking if she told him no because deep down..you knew the answer. you would always be a second choice for her. “go.” you say sternly. “are you su—” you cut her off once again, “just go.”

abby rubs the back of her neck, feeling ashamed. “I’m sorry.” she says quickly before walking back into your shared bedroom and getting ready to leave and head to her beloved job. “un-fucking-believable..” you scoff, standing up from the table and heading into the living room. you fall back onto the couch, closing your eyes and sighing as you throw your head back in agitation. you were so angry and frustrated but at the same time sad and understanding. you knew abby cared a lot about her job and being a manager to a company is something you’ll never understand..but she would always pass up a chance to miss work. on weekends she would go in too, even if she didn’t have to.

it was a never ending cycle with abby and for some reason she just didn’t understand why you were so mad. the whole house felt so gloomy. there was so much tension and unspoken things that seemed to be lingering. abby came out the room and stopped to look at you, frowning slightly as she fixed her collar. “baby I promise I’ll try to make it home early tonight. I mean it.” abby bites the inside of her cheek while she waits for your response but all she’s faced with is silence. she takes a deep breath and grabs her keys, opening the door to leave but not before saying ‘I love you’ and closing the door. you feel your eyes sting, tears threatening to leave them. it might’ve been selfish but you missed when abby wasn’t a manager. back then, she used to make her schedule as flexible as possible to accommodate the both of you but now her schedule was just mainly work. everything was becoming too much and you were fed up.

☆

3 days had went by since then. barely any words had been exchanged between you two since you rarely see her and when you do, she’s “too tired to argue” and goes to bed. abby genuinely thought that you didn’t want to talk to her..at least civilly of course. she questioned a lot about why you were distant but never got the chance to ask you. you gave up on calling her and asking about where she was because you knew where she was. though this night was different. abby actually came home but..out of it? she seemed tipsy or almost completely drunk. she looked like she had been crying her eyes out for hours and when she spotted you on the couch, she basically lost it. “baby…” she murmured as she stumbled towards you. her hair was extremely disheveled and her breath reeked of alcohol. “abigail, are you drunk? how did you even get home? are you ok?” you bombarded her with questions immediately, standing up and inspecting her carefully.

“I’m fine. I had a co worker drive me home.” she looked away from you, obviously sounding ashamed of herself once again. “but don’t worry about me, I just wanna make things up to you..” she looked back at you before wrapping her arms around you and kissing you passionately. you almost gave in but pushed her off of you gently. “abby..no. I’m sorry but you can’t keep thinking that sex can fix everything…and you can’t keep brushing everything off like it’s nothing. you’re literally drunk and you’re telling me not to worry? forget about it.” you turn around and walk into the bedroom, abby following close behind you. “y/n, wait please. I can make it up to you a different way..I’m sorry.” abby sounds desperate now. her voice strained and raspy, you almost feel bad for her but you were at your limit. you grab a small bag and throw some clothes into it, as well as any other necessities you had needed and turned to finally face abby.

“abby I— I can’t do this. you don’t have time for me anymore and you always think that fucking me will magically make me forget about how you treat me. I’ve tried so hard make things work but every time I think you finally realize how I feel, you show me that you clearly don’t.” you pick up the bag swiftly and go to leave the room but abby blocks you. “y/n, baby, please..we can fix this..I can fix this.” she’s hysterical now. her face red and wet from her tears. you can tell she’s probably sincere but you were too angry to care. “it’s too late, abby. I’m done.” you move her off of you and shove past her. “I’m gonna stay by a friend. please don’t call me. I don’t wanna talk to you for a while..or at all. I’ll have the rest of my stuff out of here by the end of next week.” you look back at abby who looked so distraught yet wasn’t saying anything. abby had now realized what was wrong. not like she didn’t before but she had been oblivious to the severity of the situation and never bothered to actually have a conversation with you about anything.

you took up your car keys and left. abby rushed over to the front door and watched as you got into your car and drove away. and although you were pissed, abby was someone you expected to stay with for eternity. you two were together for so long that you would’ve never guessed that your rival would be her job. as you drove up to a red light, you could feel yourself slowly unraveling as you screamed in the car. you hit your steering wheel harshly as you cursed and wailed to your hearts content. you knew you still loved abby badly, but you couldn’t even keep up with her. despite the times you would see her, all she would do is eat, sleep, and leave for work. this was your breaking point. you heard the vibration of notifications coming from your phone and ignored it, continuing to drive even while wildly crying behind the wheel.

☆

when you finally pulled up to your friends house, composed and collected, you looked at your phone and felt your heart sink. abby called you over 10 times and only now had resorted to texting. you felt yourself gradually becoming reckless again as you read the few messages she sent you.

‘I’m so sorry. I feel like I just lost everything.’

‘we can work things out. I promise. please come home.’

‘I never meant to hurt you baby. I never wanted the relationship to end because of me.’

‘please respond. at least let me know that you’re ok.’

you can sense yourself getting sick by the second. you felt horrible. but if abby wouldn’t put you first, then you had to. you didn’t respond to her messages and for great measure, you made the harsh decision to block her. you had to stand your ground. you felt better. at least you thought you did. you made the right decision right? you couldn’t turn back now anyway. this was for the best.

tags: @softlysunrays @mariefilms @aouiaa 🎀 ( I love u guys )

[impishjesters]

Can you do Jax x reader who has a lot of insecurities about how they look and act in the real world and the digital one? And if not you can just ignore this 💕

Insecurities

warning(s): Jax (only slightly kidding), insecurities, mentioned dark humor to cope, minor bullying (Jax throws Zooble and Dangle under the bus on their appearance) note(s): I'm quickly learning that just like Jax, I'd probably be an awful human being to seek comfort in.. at least words of comfort... A/N: Realized more than halfway through writing that I wasn't sure if the request was separate hc's like knowing him before being yoinked into the digital hellscape and after or not... Feel free to toss another ask though and I can try some pre-digital hellscape hc's...however, I feel like they'd still be pretty similar to the post-digital hellscape reactions.

Jax is probably the last person to talk to when it comes to insecurities, real or digital

One time the topic of what everyone looked like before being sucked into the digital hellscape came up, but not everyone remembered, whether it was because they simply couldn’t remember or because they’d been there too long to remember

Jax’s response is never consistent. In one comment he’ll say he misses having long hair and was 5’4”, and the next comment is how he was actually bald and 5’10”

Now whether that’s him fuckin around or not is anybody’s guess

Currently, he’s got no real beef with his appearance, and he’s unapologetically himself digital or human. Now when it comes to you?

It can go a few different ways depending on how close the two of you are

Right out the gate, he’ll claim whatever toy-like appearance you’ve taken on can’t be any uglier than Zooble, which is like wow, harsh—they aren’t exactly easy on the eyes but that’s still a person with feelings…

He might even throw in a harsh comment about Gangle’s lack of a body, being ya know just ribbons… but hey! At least you have a body compared to her (Jax..that’s not helping..)

See what I said? Not the best person to go to with this sorta stuff

In the beginning, there’s always the gamble he might poke fun at your digital appearance and not really realize till later on that you were insecure about your appearance. (Whether it’s because someone else pointed it out or you flat-out told him.)

The closer the two of you get—friendship or romantic—he’s still an ass but once you’ve confronted him about your feelings and insecurities about your appearance, digital or human he knocks it off.

Nobody’s really voiced their complaints on what they ended up as here, at least not publically…

He’ll try to reassure you that you look fine, likely not understanding how deeply rooted something like insecurities can go and something like a “well I don’t think you’re ugly” isn’t gonna cut it.

Jax isn’t a sweet talker, or rather he doesn’t really sound all that genuine if he does, but he does try to put some emphasis that you really do look fine. (again, sweet but likely not helpful)

Now real world you? He wouldn’t know in the slightest, and while he could lie and say that the description you gave him wasn’t anything to be ashamed of, he’s not gonna do that to you (not that the appearance you gave him sounded ugly or anything).

Jax copes with dark humor and will without a doubt throw out some comment about how you won’t have to be insecure about your human appearance anymore because it’s unlikely any of you are getting out of here. (I’m sorry I’m laughing so hard because that would 15/10 make me laugh, dark humor is how I cope)

It’s not helpful (depending on the individual at least)

Oh! What about now you don’t have to worry about any acne or wrinkles?

Better? But is it really? Eh..

Overall he’s not particularly great at the whole reassurance about your appearance or how you act “I mean have you seen how some of the others act?” (Jax that’s not..helpful), but because you are someone important to him he’ll make the extra effort to listen to exactly what it is your insecure about and if you need him to reassure you he’ll do so

It might sound insincere but that’s just how he talks

On the off chance that you have a really bad day, it tugs at his heartstrings (yeah, he has those), he’ll pull you aside and give you little kisses over those places.

Insecure about something facial-wise? Face kisses.

You end up as a toy with too many legs and not enough fingers? Kisses (maybe not the legs though...)

When in doubt kisses and he’ll let you hug him or whatever, but breathe a word of this to the other’s and he’ll.. I dunno, prank you later or something. He'll have to workshop it.

Back to the act thing, I don’t personally know how someone would be insecure over that—but if you stim or anything of the sort Jax won’t really comment on it, but if someone else does? Poor them because they are about to get on the bunny’s bad side.

Gangle stims and as big of an asshole as Jax is, he’s never made fun of her for it.

[nihilistem]

Hey! I read your study tips both posts regarding adhd . (Feel free to ignore )

I am still undiagnosed and I think it's adhd but i do not have the resources nor the environment or support system to do anything about it .I am a high schooler preparing for entrance exams and i really need to like get my shit together and i feel like i have wasted sm time already but i really do want to get better. When i sit to study i just can't focus if I keep my phone in some other room then also i would just sit and stare at my books without accomplishing something. I am trying really but it's feels like my brain is frozen and my body is moving .my brain keep screaming guilty and ashamed but i can't seem to do anything about it.your study post actually i related to a lot because pomodro kind of seems to be working for everyone but me and the you described the exact same things I do

I know this is a lot to ask for please feel free to ignore but how do I stop Letting my emotions take over and study consistently because I only have one chance at the exams

Oh my, first of all I’d like to say that, as cliché as it is, I know exactly how you feel. I was undiagnosed for so long (I was only diagnosed a few months ago) and I didn’t even know that the adhd things I experience on a regular basis wasn’t normal or neurotypical for so long.

first up : I know this is difficult, but please do not say such things about yourself. I’m not gonna get into the whole thing, (cuz I have done a post on that already) but it’s true that the more you drill that bad stuff into your brain, the more it’s gonna stick. We need our brains to be in the best condition possible to study efficiently and saying bad stuff about yourself that isn’t even true is just going to hinder your performance. You got this. I promise you’re not lazy. Your brain just isn’t motivated by the same things others are, but we can work with that simple difference.

I’ll make a separate post on how not to let your emotions take over, but for now …

adhd study tips for those trying to get into the habit.

— by a stem student with adhd.

here’s my first post on adhd study tips.

— don’t put your phone in a different room. Instead, download an app that prevents you from using other apps on your phone.

there’s plenty of apps that do this but the one I prefer is ypt because all its features are completely free and it stops your timer when you exit the app unless you enter ‘allowed app mode.’ I don’t know about you, but if I find that I’m just zoning out on my textbook then I end up stopping my timer and deleting the record because I know I didn’t actually study, and this motivates me to actually get some work done. The timer also gets me motivated to keep going for longer so I have physical proof of my focus time and studies. It will feel good to even have just 1 hour of study time on it, I promise.

— even if you’re not interested in your studies, try your best to find even one thing that interests you.

novelty, challenge and interest are some of the best motivators of the adhd brain, so use it. I know that sparking your curiosity for a subject you hate seems impossible, but hear me out.

ever since I was young, I was exposed to books and I drew everyday. This caused me to become very passionate about the arts, but since I had adhd and didn’t know, I failed all my classes and specifically hated chemistry because it was specifically designed to be everything that I can’t be good at due to my poor memory and the need to memorize a TON of concepts. Then during class one day, I was doing chemistry work with my friends and felt frustrated that they could easily balance equations and work out which compounds were acids or bases purely by its chemical formula. And that’s what sparked me to start reading my textbook to see what the big deal was. How was it possible for one to just know when something is a acid solely from looking at a bunch of letters? This started a chain reaction; I found my answer, and found that the process of finding my answer and learning this new information was fulfilling. So I looked at all the other chemistry topics, and it turns out chemistry was fun. I was supposed to be an art student but now I’m majoring in chemistry and biology, all because of that sense of challenge and curiosity I was given that day.

tdlr; I was bad at chemistry but I’m now majoring in it because I felt challenged by a friend and was curious to know how they could solve chem equations easily.

All it took was a bit of curiosity. It’s a very powerful thing to the adhd brain. And if you use this as a motivator for your studies it might even cause you to hyper-fixate on your work, which means you’ll naturally spend more time studying just to find all the answers you’re now dying to know.

— use the pomodoro timer, but think about the things that you have to do that seems a little impossible to do under 25 minutes.

This fulfills the ‘challenge’ category I mentioned in the previous tip.

Let me explain; I subconsciously started doing this to myself without anyone telling me this and it’s helped me a LOT. Here’s an example;

“This chapter’s too long, it’s impossible to read through everything and understand the key concepts in just twenty five minutes.”

is it, though?

So I was off to the races, genuinely reading through every page and taking note of every single heading or bold or italicized word so I will be able to summarize the entire topic by the time the twenty five minutes is up.

And it doesn’t even matter if you don’t make that twenty five minute mark, because you’ll feel a sense of defeat and try it again with another chapter/topic.

this accomplishes two things; one, the work you’ve been putting off or zoning out on is now probably 20% - 50% completed and now you feel motivated to continue. Two, this method will train you to be faster in learning or studying new material or even just completing work in general, depending on what you’re challenging yourself to do.

— dress up, do your hair, study at a library or cafe you love (and possibly make pretty notes.)

I’ve talked about interest, I’ve talked about challenge, and now I’m gonna talk about novelty.

Do this with purpose! But what do I mean by that?

I’m sure you’ve come across studious girls in media or even people on social media making videos and taking pretty photos of their day out to study. Usually they’re dressed the part and even if they’re not, there’s a certain vibe, aesthetic or aura about them that is just so desirable that it makes you wish you were doing what they were doing. And if you don’t feel this way, find content creators or media that do make you feel this way.

How will this help me? Well, there are actually a few reasons but the first one that comes to mind is that this is also an adhd tip used outside of studying. Combining a task you don’t want to do with a task you’d like to do is a faster and more efficient way of convincing yourself to do long, difficult or even tiring tasks. Another is that doing this would also mean you’ve technically gotten yourself to desire studying, something more commonly known as romanticizing studying. If you make studying look fun, glamorous or even desirable for yourself then you’re sure to get to the hideous parts of it. Think about being a straight A student, someone who’s always wearing nice clothes with great hair and such a focused work ethic. Once you desire to be that person and you dress like that person, you’ll start to do the things that person will do.

— use the pomodoro timer but set it to even shorter bursts instead. (e.g. 15 minutes work, 5 minutes break.)

Or hell, on my worst days I set it to 5 minutes work, 5 minutes break.

The whole point of this exercise is to just start, because that’s arguably the hardest part about studying, you can’t get yourself to actually start or to actually focus. So promise yourself a five minute break after a very short amount of time of reading.

— skip straight to the questions of a topic, try to do them and identify the information you need to get the answer right.

For example, I came across a bio question that was rather simple but I didn’t know the answer to because I haven’t revised the topic for a while, and the question was, what is needed in the body for anaerobic respiration to take place? And the answer was simple, but I didn’t know because again, I didn’t study the material before answering the paper.

one’s brain can have the habit of being complacent especially when you don’t wanna do work, so diving head first into the questions and realizing that you don’t know jack shit would be a good wake up call for you and your brain—and this can connect to the second point that I made because you might find that you’d be eager to get the answer right all on your own, and become curious as to what the answer is.

important to remember …

erase everything bad that you were told or led to believe about studying. I promise that if you look for ways to make it engaging for you and form a habit, studying can be something you don’t dread or worry about everyday. You are capable. This is the start of your journey. Yes, the question of ‘what if I get distracted again’ will always be there but think about what could happen if today is the first day you’re not distracted. If you don’t at least try to start now, you will have zero chance of being able to actually focus and study. But if you try, the worst that will happen is that you tried. If you keep trying, it will happen. I promise.

If you need any more tips regarding adhd, (or being undiagnosed,) please do let me know. I’ll do my best to help.

[girlboypersonthingy]

request for sal fisher x reader!! so idea one, coffee shop au, sal works at reader's fave coffee shop and they fall in lovee. or second ideaa reader is popular cheerleader who developes a crush on sal.

YEESSSSSSS FINALLYYYYYYY MY FIRST SALLY FACE REQUEST! I’m stoked rn 😆 I’m so in love with Sal, it’s not normal ✨ I’m obsessed with the barista x regular, daily customer trope, fuck yeah! Too cute! Enjoy~

TW: none really, just very fluffy and silly

Notes: Posted recently about how I wanted to write more fics where reader has a stutter bc I have a stutter so reader stutters in this fic 🥹 ah my heart is so full. Also, trying to write out how I stutter is very difficult…

UPDATE: part 2 is in the works!

Sal x reader- Coffee Shop AU ☕️💙

Coffee is a must. Coffee is a necessity. You just can’t function without it. So, of course that’s your first stop of the day every morning before you get started with your day. It’s worth getting up 30 minutes earlier just to sit and enjoy some caffeine and maybe a little snack while listening to music, checking emails, staring out the window, same old same old. It was a very repetitive start to your day…and you’re not sure if you like that or not. It is kind of nice to have a set routine every day and know what to expect each morning but…it’s quickly growing old. Maybe you should change up your drink order? Maybe sit in a different spot? Maybe both? We’ll see.

As you open the double doors of the coffee shop and step inside, warm air rushes up to you as does the smell of coffee, sweet syrups and savory pastries. Normally, you walk straight up to the counter, knowing exactly what you want. Depending on who takes your order, they even sometimes know your usual drink and know you by name. But today, you’re gonna change it up, remember? So let’s take a look at the drink menu, let’s look at the other food options too.

“Hey, (Y/N)! Morning! Just give me sec. I’ll be right with you.” A familiar voice calls out to you, a worker who you interact with often. He was nice, patient and polite. “Okay!” You stood up at the register now, patiently waiting as you tried to recite your new order in your head, making sure you get it all out correctly. Your phone buzzes, catching your attention for a split second. You glance down to check your notifications just as you hear that same familiar voice call out, “Sal! Sorry, dude. I’m trying to fix this faucet. Can you get that customer-“ And before the barista could continue, a deeper voice interrupted. “Yeah, I gotchu. No worries.”

As soon as this new barista was face to face with you, all thoughts of coffee went out the window. Wow. Geez. This is a lot to take in at once. His voice is…so nice. He’s got really cool hair. Is he…wearing a mask? Your eyes fell to his hands, his big hands with nails painted a deep blue color. Then you looked back to his face. His mask? His…face???

“Uh…you ready to order?” He speaks up, making you nearly gasp. “Y-yes, I’m sorry. Uh…can I get the w-….“ Just breathe. “Sorry, the w-w-“ The long pauses between your stuttering make him reach up and touch his cheek before softly mumbling, “It’s okay. It’s a prosthetic…if that’s what’s tripping you up.” He gestures to his face and now you’re blushing furiously, mostly because you’re embarrassed and a bit ashamed for staring but also holy shit, his voice is so nice.

“No, no! I’m sorry, I’m-m-“ And your confidence is slipping away every second you stand here, pathetically crumbling apart in front of this amazingly overwhelming stranger.

“Are you n-new?” You’re almost shouting now, unable to control your nerves. He nods, his blue hair shifting along with his movements. “I thought so. I mean, you’re doing great! I’ve just never seen you…before.” You notice his eyes squint, making you smile a bit. “Yeah, just started a couple days ago. I worked at a few different coffee shops before this so I kinda know the ropes. But, yeah this place is cool.” You nod along, nervously tapping your fingers on the counter. “Do you…usually work mornings?” You inquire, knowing that’s when you usually visit the shop. “Uh-huh” He nods again, leaning against the counter that separates you two. “Cool. Cool. Cool. Awesome. Then I’ll be seeing you often. I come in the m-m…early.” The way you cope with being stuck on a word, just using a synonym that is easier to say, earns a soft laugh from him, making your knees buckle under you because what a fucking cutie he is. Face or no face, doesn’t matter because everything else about him is so charming.

“So, uh…your order?” He pushes off the counter and looks at the computer screen in front of him, waiting for your response. You end up ordering your usual, excluding the food. You’re just too shaken up, too nervous, too excited to focus. Whatever. “And your name?” He finally looks back to you, and now you’re noticing his eyes. He’s got one bright blue eye and one that’s a more grayed out blue color.

“(Y/N).” You finally utter your name, watching as he writes it on your cup. “Cool. I’ll have it right up over there for you.” He points at the other end of the counter before walking off with your cup. Now, normally you’d go sit at the table in the corner near the big window but today, you just had to sit closer to where all the action took place. You were so intrigued by him, what a strange boy, not like anyone you’ve ever met before. You didn’t even know his name. Damn, you should’ve got his name…

“(Y/N)!” The same boy clouding up your mind calls out your name as he sets a cup down on the counter, staying in his spot as you shakily approach him. As you grab your cup, your eyes frantically search his shirt and apron for a name tag but there wasn’t one. “Have a good one.” As he turns, you panic and just blurt it out. “Whats your name?” And now your voice has him spinning on his heels, his hands quickly get shoved into his apron pockets. “Sal. Some people call me Sally.” And all you can do is stare again.

Sal. That’s nice~

“Thanks, Sal. I’ll see you tomorrow then, maybe?” “Yeah, same time, same place.” They eye contact lingers for just a moment and now it feels nearly impossible not to squeeze the cup in your hand and crush it completely, he’s just really getting to you right now. “Okay, cool. Have a good one.” As your voice begins to crack and betray you even further, you turn and book it out of there.

What a nice change in pace, though. Finally, something new, something different, something to look forward to. Someone to look forward to.

The next morning, you can’t wait to see him again. You want to know more about him, you need to hear his voice some more and, you must confess, you’re just dying to know more about his prosthetic and what’s underneath. Not that you’d ever rush him or pressure him into telling or showing you. But maybe you could casually mention it, test the waters…

“Morning, Sal!” You shout as you enter, heading right up to your new favorite morning person who’s already standing at the register waiting for you. “Good morning. The usual? Or are you switching it up today?” You could tell he was smiling under the prosthetic just by the way he spoke. “The usual, please.” He gets to work writing on the cup then suddenly turns away with it. “H-hey, wait! You didn’t charge me-“ “Yeah, I know. Don’t worry, it’s on me today.”

You’re a bit taken aback. “What? Why?” You ask with a small smile, watching as he shrugs. “You’re just really nice to me. I appreciate it.” And he’s off to work on your drink before the conversation can continue. You’re gonna have to literally cover your face with your hands to hide your sappy, goofy, love struck expression from him.

You sit at a table close to the bar where Sal is currently grinding up fresh espresso. Everything about him is so nice to look at- the way his arms move and flex as he works, the way he carefully tips his head to the side and wipes it against his sleeve to remove any sweat, the way he focuses as he pours your drink right to the top of the cup.

Soon after, he leans across the counter to set your drink down, his eyes watching as you saunter up quickly. “Thanks, Sal.” Is all you have the courage to say right now but Sal is starting to feel the connection too. He wants to know more about you too, wants to know why you seem so shy and flustered around him, why you’re so nice and polite to him when so many other customers treat him like a freak.

“Can I…sit with you for a bit? I’m about to go on a break.” Sal’s smiling so big under his mask at the stunned expression you’re wearing right now. “Of course! Sure!” Sal follows behind you as you walk to your usual table in the corner, slowly removing his apron. You both sit quietly for a moment.

“So, are m-most the customer not very nice to you? I mean, you said I’m nice to you but I figured I was just being as decent as most people.” Your voice has him stiffening up in his seat. “Yeah, I guess most people don’t take too kindly to blue haired, masked guys who are in charge of making their food and drinks.” “I thought it was a prosthetic?” “It is.” “Right.”

A short period of silence again. “So…what happened? If you don’t mind me asking.” He figured that question was coming soon but he didn’t think it would be this soon. Sal strangely feels comfortable with you though, like he’s known you for much longer than a day so he decides to take a chance on you, see how you respond.

“I was attacked by a dog. Well, that’s the easy version of the story.” With a nod and a consoling smile, you think it’s best to leave it at that and change the topic but Sal just keeps going. “I was uh…I actually…” But the words won’t come out, he can’t bring himself to say it. How does one casually mention they were shot in the face?

“Hey, I’m sorry I asked. Let’s just forget it.” A reassuring smile graces your lips as you watch him look down at his own lap. “I think more people have actually seen my face than heard the story of what happened to it.” “That’s okay. I won’t ask again, promise. And…I’m sorry about whatever you had to go through.”

Your sweet words of reassurance and comfort send his heart into an abnormal rhythm as his mouth suddenly goes dry. Why are you so fucking nice? He can’t handle how sweet and kind and nice and considerate and adorable you are. He’s like 99% sure you’re just really really nice but not into him romantically, and he’s 110% sure you’re waayyyy out of his league. He might as well give up now.

Most mornings, you saw Sal at work, sometimes you didn’t. The more you two interact, the more relaxed you find yourself becoming around him. But even then, you can’t help but feel like maybe you are just romanticizing these interactions. Sure, he’s nice but he’s at work, he kinda has to be. Yeah, he talks to you for a bit at the register but that’s kinda part of the job. Maybe you’re in over your head.

Regardless, you enter the store once again, smiling uncontrollably when you catch a glimpse of his blue hair as he rushes behind the counter. As the bell of the front door chimes, Sal’s head pops up as he looks over. “Morning, (Y/N). How are you?” He continues emptying the trash can in front of him as he looks back and forth between you and the task at hand. “I’m good. How are you, Sally?” A deep sigh leaves him as he lifts the crammed trash bag out of the bin. “Busy. Short staffed. Ready to go home.” All you can offer him is a pouty bottom lip and a hum of sympathy as you near the register. “Aww. I’m sorry. I’ll make it easy for you, okay? I’ll take my usual, here’s the cash for whenever you’re ready and keep the change. Take your time, too! I’m in no rush.” You slide your money across the counter towards him.

And at that, you go to your usual spot in the corner near the window, staring outside as you daydream. Not too long later, you’re startled by Sal setting your drink on the table in front of you. “Oh! Thank you. That was nice, you didn’t have to bring it all the way over here.” You look up at him and notice a change in his body language- he can be hard to read due to his deadpan prosthetic so you’ve learned to examine his body language and tone of voice as indicators of his mood. He’s not looking at you, instead looking out the window past you, he looks like he’s more closed in on himself, more unsure of himself. Weird…

“You okay, Sal-“ “I’m going on break! See ya later.” He zips off to the break room before you can get another word in. Geez, maybe he’s just having a really bad day. Maybe he just wants to be left alone. So, you decide to cut your stay short and get going. As you stand and reach out for your cup, you notice he had brought you a napkin too. Being the good person you are, you reach to grab it and take it to the trash but then you notice…Oh god…oh. my. god. No way. He wrote his NUMBER ON THE NAPKIN AND HOLY SHIT YOU MIGHT COLLAPSE DIE RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW.

You can’t help but glance up and towards the break room where Sal had just run off to, seeing him and his other coworker both peeking around the corner to see your reaction. With cheeks as red as pomegranate and a smile so big it hurts, you exaggeratedly stuff the napkin in your pocket before giving him a wave. “See you tomorrow, Sally~”

Don’t worry, as you walk out of the shop and start giggling wildly with your heart beating a million miles an hour, Sal is sliding down the wall in the break room as he clenches his shirt in his hand, literal heart eyes for you right now.

You haven’t even seen his face but you accepted his number? Shiiitttt…he’s got it baddddd for you.

[bravo4iscool]

girl, I’m not gonna lie to you, I have some free time, and sometimes I really like to use it uselessly. and I found your ig account, then I did some other research and I found a lot about you and your family, so I could really rate you. And yes, I can say properly: you’re ugly.

now, you're kinda right, I give you that. some fit guys do like fat women, maybe one guy out of ten. but these are REALLY PRETTY WOMEN, 'cause I don’t deny that there are beautiful fat women, but they are usually rare, and that’s definitely not you.

I’m not seeking validation wtfff has nothing to do with anything, girl… you seem stupid. I just really found your behavior hilarious. like, how the false illusion of the new age got you, making you really believe in fairy tales. I mean, you're clearly so insecure, trying to pass as “I’m fine with my weight” while really trying to convince yourself that you’re desirable. and like, you’re not 😭 and it’s so fun when you talk about validation, because, you see, I may be petty or bitter or mean, or whatever it is. but, if you really felt confident, pretty, and good about yourself, you would just turn off the anon or ignore me. but no, you’re here, writing answers so you can post and be consoled. that’s how I know you feel pathetic and horrible about yourself, and need these other weirdos to help you fool yourself. you can ignore me, or reply me, it won’t make difference. you too fucking transparent, so easy to read.

or you wouldn’t be doing headcanons of really fit men attracted to you, because if you were desirable and if you really felt that way, you would just know, and not try to reaffirm yourself along with other equally UGLY FAT GIRLS. the main thing here is how out of touch you are with reality. close the tumblr, go to a nice spot in your town, where you KNOW there are hot guys, and please record yourself being chosen by them. if you're so sure of yourself. and open your instagram account, since you have nothing to hide and being ashamed. I mean, you’re pretty right? lol

y’know i’m not doing this cuz i’m insecure💀 also, i never said those hc’s were about me LMAO. i’m very aware that he and every other cod character is fucking fictional💀. this is just my hobby😗✌🏼.

also, why are you so keen about finding out about my personal life? wtf do i have to do with you? it’s fucking creepy to stalk my ig and all that💀. who tf do you think you are?

the only one being pathetic here is you, because you’re out here insulting me via anon haha. at least grow the balls to confront me correctly lol.

but yk, your stupidity and insecurity is pretty hard to ignore. you can have your opinion about me but let me be. i didn’t ask you for it lmao. also, i couldn’t care less about your opinion. you can think i’m ugly, idgaf, but stop annoying me with it.

and idk if you know but talking down on other people has to do with one’s insecurities, so maybe you’re the insecure one here😘.

and yes, i’m fine with my weight. i’ve come to terms with it, since i can’t change it without a medical intervention. is it so hard to believe that someone overweight actually accepts that fact or what? it says that says a lot about you actually.

also, i’m posting this so people can see that there are, unfortunately, still people with the iq of a fucking brick out there. i couldn’t care less about what they tell me. as i said, i’m perfectly fine on my own.

i’m actually laughing writing this because i won’t ignore you. people like you should rethink their life choices ngl.

you’re going crazy over a tumblr post and start to insult me as fat and ugly and you started to fucking stalk me. you’re being the prime example for insecurity rn💀.

your messages can get as long as you want them to be, i will respond to them because it’s sad people still think like you.

there are people out there saying all things about cod or ghost or whoever. if i don’t like them, i scroll, but i don’t start insulting and stalking the author of that post/headcanon/fic or whatever.

grow tf up and get a helmet💀.

[lover-sy]

WHAT I DO WHEN I’M ON MY PERIOD

୨☕️୧

Hi, hii! Today’s post isn’t random because I started my period yesterday and I also got sick so my energy is really drained and I want to share a few tips to maybe help some of you! ( this is the 2nd time I’m writing this so I’m a bit annoyed )

— HYDRATION : you gotta drink A LOT of water during your period. Hydration is already so important as it is but during your period it’s 10x more important

— TEA : first of all shoutout to all my tea girlies. Then, I love drinking tea ( without caffeine!) because it not only makes my cramps better because of the warmth and since i often drink peppermint and ginger ( which is really good during your period ) but i also just convince myself that tea will make me feel better so it does. ( it’a all about the mindset )

— POSITIVITY : I always try to see the good in things which also includes my period. As i told SOME PEOPLE I imagine it as the blood of my enemies.. not i’m kidding. I just tell myself that I can grow a whole human and that it’s gonna be over soon. This isn’t temporary so I shouldn’t complain because I can’t change anything about it by complaining ( I tell myself that with a lot of things. Complaining never helps )

— EATING : I try to get as many vitamins in as possible with veggies, fruits and nuts but fish and chicken is also very good for you!

— VITAMINS/SUPPLEMENTS : i only eat chicken as meat so i’m deficient in a lot of vitamins so i have to take a lot of the most important one during your period is magnesium. Even if you eat a lot of food containing magnesium ( mostly nuts ) you should consider taking some magnesium supplements

— REST : this is the key to not passing out in this week of suffering. Sleep a lot and limit your physical activity ( I’m sorry to my athletes out there. ), instead of going to the gym and doing heavy workouts stay in bed and read a nice book or do chores around the house ( also has you moving )

— MOVE : very contradictory but yoga and a bit of walking can never do harm, i love walking during my period because it makes me feel like I did something but it also doesn’t leave me completely drained from all energy.

— WARMTH : tea, warm baths, heating pads and pets ( my cats keep me warm <3 )

— DISTRACTION : this may differ from person to person but I need a lot of distraction especially when I’m just laying around in bed so I usually read a very captivating book to focus 100% and forget about the pain.

— PEOPLE : I stay in my dark room and when I’m in school talk less because I’m worried that I’ll snap at people but I usually tell my friends that I’m on my period or they figure so there isn’t any misunderstandings

— REMINDERS : you can’t do anything about the fact that you get periods, they’re normal and you shouldn’t feel ashamed about them. People who make you feel that way about them are childish. You weight may vary so don’t panic! ( i don’t weight myself during my period because it’s not my real weight so it’s of no use! ). Your energy is already low so try to stay calm and not waste it on unnecessary things or people. Drama can wait for when you’re ovulating.

[igotanidea]

Ego: Jason Todd x fem!reader

A/N: since I fu**** up with naming my fem!OC Cheshire, despite the fact that there is already a character named like this in DC (check this A/N) and have to do some adjustment, this is a story of her transition. Future stories in this Jason x fem!reader verse will be referring to her with the new name (unless stated otherwise).

***

„I think we have a problem.”

“What do you mean “we”? Y/N raised an eyebrow at Jason who entered “her” room in the manor with a bit concerned look. It was Friday afternoon and she was hoping to get some well-deserved rest after whole week of hard work and give herself up to reading, but apparently her boyfriend made different plans.

“You’re right. It’s mostly “you” situation.” He smirked coming closer and sitting on the edge of the bed, eyeing her with that teasing glint in his eyes.

“What are you talking about, Jay?” she rolled her eyes and looked at him, getting more and more annoyed with every second “I’m trying to read. So make your point.”

“You’re not gonna like it.” he warned

“Oh, come on, Jay!”

“Apparently, Roy got himself a girl.”

“So?” Y/N frowned “why should I care? Why do you care?”

“Because apparently she calls herself Cheshire.”

“She calls herself…. “ the girl repeated absentmindedly before it hit her “Wait. What?”

“Yeah……”  

“But that’s my name!”

“I know, kitten.”

“So what, am I just supposed to give it up!?”

“Do you want to?’

“Of course not!”

“So?” he teased

“So? So what?”

“Are you gonna give up or fight?” he smirked

“Jason Peter Todd. Is this one of your post-pit episodes? You are not making any sense in what you are saying right now.”

“How about a little confrontation with the imposter?”

“If she was really first than that would mean I am the imposter.” She sighed and run a hand through her hair and took a deep breath. She was angry about this lapping, but she was also far more reasonable than Jason in her action and knew fighting over something like vigilante name would lead to nothing good. Hence the initial conflict between Tim and Damian when it came to their Robin alter-ego.

“Come on Y/N. You said you didn’t want to give it up.” Jason looked at her, surprise and worry mixed on his face. “Hey, look at me. Are you all right?”

 “I don’t know, Jace. It’s just ….. unexpected. And awkward. And I’m ashamed.”

“Babe…..” he reached for her hands and squeezed them reassuringly “you did nothing wrong. It’s not like you know all the vigilantes on the whole world.”

“Of course not. But this send my confidence to the abyss. I thought I was renowned in the whole world. That everyone heard about me.” (of course she was using irony.)

“You’re so cute, you know.” Jayson smiled and kissed her nose, making her snort “and since you used the word “abyss” I wonder, what are you reading?”

“Irrelevant.” she put the book out of his reach. “You know your best friend could have said something about it.”

“We don’t really share deep details about our personal life, you know. At least, not anymore.”

“Not anymore?”

“He got tired of me talking about you all the time so we had to make some ground rules to avoid bloodbath.”

“You talk about me, huh?” she moved closer to him “I wonder what words do you use, Red?”

“Teasing, unpredictable, sarcastic, stubborn….” he whispered closing the gap between them even more, brushing his lips over hers lightly.

“Mhm. All true….” She purred, her eyes focusing on his lips, her hand traveling up his arm and shoulder, resting on his neck, playing with the hair at the nape “Anything more, baby?”

“Smart. And so freaking beautiful…..” he leaned to her, almost, almost capturing her lips in his, but she pushed on his chest before anything happened.

“Nuh, uh. No can do Jaybird. After all, you said it yourself, we have a problem. No making out until we fix it.”

“I’m not pushing on making out. There are so many different things…..”

“JASON!”

 “Look on the bright side, Y/N. This family has a track record of going through name changing. It validates you as a member of the Waynes.” he shrugged and grinned playfully.

“That’s not really the way I wished to be validated.” She groaned in defeat, burying her head in the pillow. “Besides, to me it’s a sign of being unstable. I mean look at yourself……”

***

“How about whiskers?”

“I refuse to be named after some cat food.” She scoffed angrily. “it’s not even the best available on the market. You’re getting sloppy with your suggestions.”

“At least I got any. You only lay here and complain.”

“Nope. I lay here and look pretty. Don’t tell me you don’t appreciate it.” She grinned stretching her back, exposing a bit of her belly.”

“I won’t take that bait, you little vixen.”

“Your loss.” She twirled a strand of hair around her finger “are there any more famous cats we know about?”

“Puss in boots…..”

“Don’t you dare!”

“How about you call yourself pussy?” he teased with the widest smile on his face and widened eyes

“One thing for sure, you’re not gonna enjoy it for a long time, Jaybird.”

“What?! Y/N!”

“Consider this a punishment.”

“Now, I’m being punished for getting creative.” He pouted dramatically “Thine eyes I love and they as pitying me, knowing thy heart torment me with disdain….”

“Don’t use Shakespeare against me!”

***

“Do you insist on having a name related to a cat?” Dick spoke through the comms. Of course with all the nosy sibling in the manor, no secrets could be kept and soon enough everyone joined the game of inventing name

“Can’t you just focus on the patrol Nightwing?”

“Come on, I’m trying to be helpful here.”

“I was trying to and she punished me in the worst way possible”

“Shut up, Red!” Y/N cut him off before he could spill the bean of their intimate life

“Could you guys stop it?” Damian hissed “It’s disgusting…..”

“Aren’t you an expert on the animals, Robin?” Steph pointed “shouldn’t you be the most creative?”

“I just wish it never came out like this. Listen you all…..” a couple hits and groans echoed through the comms as Y/N fought an assaulter “you only make it worse.”

“I have to agree with her on this one.”

“How can you Oracle?”

“I can. First of all, you should focus on the mission, no distractions, Nightwing…..”

“I am focused!” judging by the sounds he was using his escrima sticks on another men.

“And secondly, all of your ideas are just …. stupid.”

“Now I’m offended” Dick scoffed

“Ask me if I care. Now, Red and ….” Babs hesitated, not sure how to refer to Y/N after all the name drama “… you know who, are waiting for you in the shed, go help them.”

“On it, Oracle!”

*** “ I don’t appreciate this silent treatment from you.”

“Well, you talk for both of us, Red.” Y/N muttered, moving silently through the shed “the point of this patrol was to get in, gather the intel and get out. Without unnecessary noise, so you might wanna cut out on words.”

“Are you scared, Cheshire? Oh, wait, you’re not one anymore…..”

“I hate you.”

“We both know that’s not true, honey.”

“Hello you two.” Dick came out of nowhere “still reviewing options?”

“She keeps rejecting all of my propositions.”

“I don’t blame her. After all, your second vigilante name was not even original. I’m fairly more creative in this area.”

“Then why don’t you come up with something acceptable?”   

“I’m never patrolling with you two again. I’d rather work with Damian or Cass.” Y/N hissed and moved out of the boys sight, ready to finish this mission by herself if needed.

“Well, well, well, look who came to pay me a visit?”

“Hello there, Needle.” she grinned upon seeing the person they were looking for “so wonderful to see you again. How was your Arkham breakout? Was it fifth time this month? You are getting predictable.”

“Not much more predictable than your mind games, Cheshire.”

“Not Cheshire anymore…..” she muttered, getting angry but not letting this emotion cloud her judgement.

“Huh?” Needle furrowed his eyebrows

“Nevermind. I’m still figuring it  out myself.” she shook her head “Do we do it the easy way or…..?”

“Oh, dear girl. You know I don’t abstain from a good fight. And good is not with you.”

“Scared I will get inside your head?”

“Ego.”

“What?” this time she frowned

“You don’t play with heads. Your very skillful at playing with ego.”

Then it struck her. Ego. That was the name for her. No matter how she hated it, Needle was right. That was what she was always aiming at. Finding insecurities, choosing good words to mess with people’s inside.

“Y/N!” Jason’s voice brought her back to reality. Only then she realized she just froze at the spot with blurry eyes fixed in the space. If it wasn’t for Red (who accidentally used her real name) she would be knocked out by the villain coming right at her “Come on, what is wrong with you?! MOVE!”

“I see you did not come alone, Y/N.” Needle giggled “it’s so good to see some things doesn’t change. You still need bodyguards. Come on, Nightwing. Don’t be shy! Come out to play!”

“Long time no see.” Dick stepped up front

“Really?” Needle tapped his chin “What day is today?”

“Friday.”

“So, it’s barely been two days. Miss me much?”

“Extremely.” Y/N rolled her eyes “If you don’t want to play why don’t you tell your minders to come out as well.”

“You hurt me, Y/N. You assume I’m not here by myself.”

“And I’m right, am I not?’

“Of course you are. You always are.”

“You heard that, Red?” the girl turned towards Jayson “I am always right. You might wanna remember that.”

“Mhm, sure, noted. Now, you mind using your fists to fight?”

“Combat’s not my style. But sure I can fight. “ she shrugged “I go right.”

“I hate you.”

“Do you really?” she grinned and moved to strike back Needle’s backup. “We’ll discuss it later”

***

“Why did you freeze?” he asked some time later, after they completed the mission and returned to the manor to exchange information with the rest of the team. As usual, after the reporting, it was time to patch each other up and Jason used that to interrogate his girlfriend.

“I did not. I ….. restrained from attacking.”

“Bullshit. You froze like a deer in the headlights. You could have gotten hurt.”

“I’m sorry, you do realize you are dressing my cuts at the very moment?”

“It could have been worse. And you know I can’t have that. Y/N” he cupped her cheek making her look at him “Why? Tell me so I know how to avoid you getting yourself killed in the future.”

“Because of his words.” She sighed

“I don’t get it. You are not the one to fall for words. If anything, it’s the other way round. Are you losing your skills?”

“Shut up.” She muttered trying to yank free but he did not let her “He actually gave me an idea for new name.”

“Really?” Jay raised an eyebrow “and what may that be?”

“Ego. He said I was playing with ego and as much as I hate to admit it, it fits me more than Cheshire.”

“So no more kitten?”

“No.”

“That is disappointing. How am I supposed to call you when we are alone then?” he pouted

“Guess you will have to figure it out, Jaybird” she smiled pecking his lips lightly “I wonder how creative you can get…..”

“You should know I can come up with dozen of ideas…..”

“Great. Because your punishment is still on….”

“Y/N!”

“Mhm, I remember. Good luck getting creative Jace.”

“When this is over, I will get my payback on you.”

“Counting on it.” she smirked

[phantomram-b00]

If you’re Latine/Latinx who don’t know how to speak Spanish. That’s okay, you’re still Latine/Latinx.

So since it the last day of Hispanic heritage, and honestly I wish I was more participle with this month as an Hispanic. I’ll try to do that next time, I think honestly I just really don’t know what to exactly post, but then I had a thought. Something I wish I had someone tell me back then. So I want to talk about it in honor of Hispanic heritage month, sorry if I did this on the last day, I’ll do better next time. But for now, I wanna share just a small story while also showing encouragement, so hope you like it.

So, If you go on my introduction post, I noted that I’m Puerto Rican and also, that I don’t know how to speak Spanish. Ironic/silly isn’t it? It even more so considering mostly all my family speak Spanish, so your a question that your asking is “didn’t your folks teach you?”. Well, haha about that, you see I’m not gonna reveal anything super personal, all imma say to give context is that I couldn’t talk until I was exactly five years old; so my mom kinda had no other choice but to teach me English. So most of my childhood that was the only language I learn.

Now probably also wondering “well, you learn English? didn’t you have Spanish class?”, yes I did, in my state at least, the require language to learn was Spanish (which imma reveal a very silly funfact: I thought because of movies/show the require language was French because all they learn was french.), so as a kid I wanted to learn; only, people there already were very advantage in Spanish, a lot better than me, (small context: in my state, majority of the people are more Spanish speakers, let me clarify I’m not saying this is bad since I do love Spanish. I’m just clarifying to provide context) and not only that, the spanish at least I was taught were completely different than the Spanish I know with my folks. So as a kid, it made me really insecure about my Spanish skills, like sure I knew some basic and whatnot but I couldn’t and still can’t speak fluently like my folks. So overtime, I got insecure about my identity too. It got to the point that I wasn’t proud to be Hispanic, because back then a thought that would play was “what’s the point if I can’t even speak our basic language?”. This wasn’t to say I didn’t love being Puerto Rican or Puerto Rico as a whole, I love being Puerto Rican and Puerto Rico, I just felt in a way, I’m not worthy to call myself Puerto Rican if I couldn’t speak Spanish. I still remember a teacher even told me that “it kinda is your mom fault for not teaching you” and it boy if that didn’t make me more self conscious. (There was more, but I’m not comfortable revealing them just yet. So maybe next time my ghostly pals)

But then, I remember, 2020, I watched Emirichu’s video about her Asian experience. And it help me feel emotional, because while my parents didn’t move form Puerto Rico to America (that goes to my grandma), like Emily, I had this big disconnect from my Puerto Rican roots and often feel envious when others spoke better Spanish than me. And not only that, I did at some point and like mention I felt embarrassed so I convinced myself say “oh I can never like tostones” or “I’m definitely going to feel more of an outside if I ever visit Puerto Rico one day” or even “I might as well not try, it already too late”. But, the video let me know I wasn’t alone. And even seeing comments under the video, it help me feel like I wasn’t the only one with this identity crisis. But one thing that I feel is upmost important that I toke from the video, “you’re still Latine/Latinx/any other race no matter if you can or can’t speak Spanish or any native language.” And man, I wish I heard that a lot during my childhood rather than feeling embarrassed, ashamed or feel out of place. But I’m happy I found this video, and I’m glad the video found me and others like me.

So overtime, I began to slowly become appreciative of my roots. I think what was maybe the final push was Lin Manuel Miranda’s Broadway turn movie “In the heights”, now I love the Broadway, so when watching the movie, I couldn’t help but love it even more, because I appreciate how the movie celebrate all walks of Latine/Latinx/Hispanic cultures from Dominican, Cuban, Chilean, Mexican, Colombian, Puerto Rican and more. How this community is so vast and vibrant of overall, proud of their heritage. So I began to slowly being loving my heritage, and for healing, whenever I make an oc, I make them Puerto Rican or headcanon an existing character as Puerto Rican, or learn fact about Puerto Rico to feel more connected (like funfact did you know Puerto Rico is also called Isla del Encanto? Isn’t that beautiful? 🥹) and even now I would ask my mom “hey what does *insert Spanish phrase* mean?” Granted, I will still get moment where I doubt or have imposter syndrome (or as my mom would sometimes say I am my worse critic). But I stop myself, and say “hey, you’re still Hispanic/Latine/Latinx.” Or “don’t worry, you’re still learning.” It’s still a process. And even now I still don’t know Spanish, like I guess to best describe it, I know what people can be saying or what they’re talking about depending on the context but I don’t know how to respond back. Nor write..or spell. But I still am learning as I go, my folks told me one of the best way is to listen to Spanish song and so I’ve been trying to do that or I’ll ask my mom “hey is this accurate?”. So I just want to tell the people who will read this or my Hispanic/Latine/Latinx ghost pals that, no matter if you can’t speak the language, like certain food from your roots, or are feeling the same way I felt, it’s okay, your still valid and you’re still Hispanic/Latine/Latinx. I can’t say it going to be easy, because I’ll be a hypocrite if I did, but, I can say, it worth it each step of the way. And I wish you luck amigos.

But, thanks for taking the time to read this, I know this isn’t my usually good omen content and I’m sorry if I wasn’t super active for this heritage month. I’ll try better next time. But until then, hope your having your last day of Hispanic/Latine/Latinx heritage month! what is it I can do to be more participant for next time? Let me know! Or if you have any question about this post or anything, my inbox is open ask away my fellow ghost ^v^ And always, especially with it still being all hallow’s Eve, stay spooky my pals!

[andreafmn]

12 Days of Ficmas - Day 8

Prompt (by @12-days-of-ficmas): my family is coming for christmas but i didn’t want to tell you bc i thought they’d cancel and yeah they don’t know we live together

Word Count: 719

Story Description: (Y/N)'s family is flaky at best, and expecting them to visit for Christmas was not something they were looking forward to. Until they confirmed they would be visiting them. Only problem, (Y/N)'s boyfriend Derek doesn't know them and they don't know they're living together.

Fandom: Teen Wolf

Pairing: Derek Hale x NonBinary!Reader

A/N: i was gonna post yesterday on time but I was too tired and went to bed rather than finish the story so once again I'm off schedule (but at least I'm posting😬) I will try to get the other one out, but it's my birthday so I don't know when I'll have a chance.

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Just Family Things

One thing Derek Hale was adept at was not talking about his family. Which is why he never pushed the topic. Even entering a whole year with (Y/N). He was simply grateful they were by his side.

Though, there were times he felt like they were ashamed of him and that was the reason they had never introduced him to their family. Still, he didn’t feel it was his place to bring it up. They were happy enough together and he didn’t want to ruin it.

As the Christmas season started to make itself known, Derek noticed (Y/N) growing restless. They were hyper-fixated on cleaning their home, overstocking their food, and setting up their Christmas decorations perfectly. It was an obsessive behavior he had never seen before in them.

Even when hunting and fighting supernatural creatures, (Y/N) was always level headed, astute, and they never let their guard down. But as they ran from side to side, fixing things no one else would have thought were wrong, he couldn’t help but wonder what was going on behind their actions.

They were stress cleaning the bathroom with a toothbrush one morning, kneeling on the floor, sweat forming on their forehead.

“(Y/N), what are you doing?” Derek asked leaning against the doorframe. “You’ve been stressed out these past few weeks and I know it’s not because of the pack coming over on Christmas.”

“It’s nothing, babe. I just need to clean up. Make sure everything is perfect. “

“Why though?” he chuckled. “It’s not like they would honestly care.”

“Ugh!” (Y/N) yelled out. “Okay, look. My family is coming over for Christmas.”

“R-really?”

“Yeah. They were gonna come on the first week of December, but I knew they were gonna flake, so I didn’t tell you.” They finally confessed. It felt like a weight had lifted from their shoulders. And now that they had started, they continued. “And they did cancel, so I just let it be. But they called me and told me they were going to be here for Christmas week. Now I gotta make sure this place is rid of anything they can criticize because they honestly will judge even the tiniest speck of dust.”

Derek was shocked. It was the first time (Y/N) had spoken about their family freely. Normally, they would avoid the topic, focusing on anything but that.

“So, I’m finally gonna meet the family,” he grinned. “Never thought I’d see the day.”

“Honestly, neither did I. They don't even know we live together.”

“Did you, um… did you not want them to meet me?” he finally said, his true feeling sprouting out.

“Oh, god no,” (Y/N) was quick to respond. “I didn’t want you to meet them.”

“Why not?”

“Look, I love my family. I do,” they continued. “And though I know they mean well, they are a very – how do I put this – a quite rowdy bunch that can offend just about anyone. They can get on your nerves very quickly, and I didn’t want you to look at me differently because of them.”

With a smile on his face, he extended his arm and propped them onto their feet. He wrapped his arms around them, engulfing them tightly. He placed a kiss atop their head and chucked slightly.

“I could never judge you for who your family is. I’ve had my fair share of embarrassing family members,” he spoke against their hair. “If I had any say, you would have never met Peter. But our families don’t define us, babe. And I’ll do the best I can to help you through this week.”

“Why couldn’t they have come on thanksgiving?” (Y/N) whined against his chest, letting out a deep sigh. They were frustrated, tired, and nervous. Feelings that always arose when speaking to and about their family. “Maybe we should just say we have no space here. You think they’ll cancel again?”

“I promise I won’t let them bother you,” Derek told them before giving them a comforting kiss. “We’ll get through this Christmas together, babe. I’ll help you with your family, and you’ll help me get through a whole night with the pack here.”

“Thank you, Der. I love you.”

“I love you more.”

Maybe, just maybe that would be their best Christmas yet.

Taglist: @bellabadacadabra @winter-soldier-101 @zheezs14 @cevans-winchester @andreiaafaria @bluetreecloud20 @sunshine2894 @sunsetcurvej @sapnapsbandana @mushroomelephant @she--walks--in--moonlight 2 @Gracelynn318 @swidkid @skyesthebomb @esposadomd @blueshoelacess @then-worship-at-my-altar @six-call @Yuki254 @beckiej0073-blog @baebeepeach @cecehensonn @catgirlpwr @magimtz23 @perle-noir22 @adaydreamaway08 @hufflepuffobsessedwithmarvel @thatgirljayy @sugasthreedollarkookie @laylaskywalker @fandomonetwo @fruitylilfuck

[borom1r]

1-25 choose violence ask game ❤️

ALL OF THEM?????? you’re so real for this ty snfnsnbfns. doing LotR bc of course I am

1. the character everyone gets wrong

PIPPIN I HATE TO SAY IT BUT PIPPIN. all those incorrect quote polls that have been posted where pippin keeps fucking winning YALL REALIZE HES AN ACTUAL CHARACTER RIGHT?? with like depth?? and bonds?? and a personality. yall realize that right?????? right??? ik we all love 2 joke but he would not say half of those things

2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom

ok I personally enjoy both for Boromir BUT if he IS topping. he is a service top. I will die on this hill

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

I block ppl for these takes so no screenshots but everyone who thinks Boromir is a villain. if you think Boromir is a villain I will key your car.

4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?

there is one singular straw and it is bad Boromir takes in the Boromir tag

5. worst discord server and why

I don’t join fandom discord servers bc I love myself too much for that 💗

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

ummm idk? most of my lotr mutuals have different ships from me and it’s all chill. but tbf I’m very selective abt who I interact with now lmao.

7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?

no one yet thank fuck.

8. common fandom opinion that everyone is wrong about

Aragorn/Arwen isn’t actually romantic sorry I think it’s fucked up actually. the vibes are off there for SURE

9. worst part of canon

FARAMIR’S “yeah I’m gonna take you from your home and tame you. haha wdym. you don’t need a blade during times of peace.” SHTICK WITH ÉOWYN IN THE BOOKS. UNPACK YOUR BIASES YOU LITTLE FREAK!!!!!!!!

10. worst part of fanon

HM. I will stick with “people who horrifically misinterpret Boromir’s character”

11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered

at the moment I only have rings of power blocked but I’ve had that blocked since it came out bc if I look at the armor in that show I will commit crimes.

12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them

MOVIE!FARAMIR MY SPECIALEST LITTLE GUY OOOOOOOOOO MOVIE!FARAMIR I LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUU he’s so handsome and special and I love him and you WILL all look at him and clap and cheer. it makes me insane that his temptation by the ring mirror’s Boromir’s and he’s actually fucking normal abt the Rohirrim AND I just love him very much :)

13. worst blorboficiation

ummm idk… maybe Frodo

14. that one thing you see in fics all the time

HMMM exposing myself but I basically only read Aragorn/Boromir fics lmao + since we’re Choosing Violence the most annoying thing is Boromir just being A Brute. like damn I love the surface level reading of the text maybe try engaging with it above a 1st grade analysis next time 💗

15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time

hmmmmm idk cuz again I don’t interact w a lot of fanartists so there’s nothing like. annoying. all th ✨motifs✨ I do see r very fun + I like them :)

16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)

ummm for Serious, portraying Pippin as Stupid. for Silly, uhhhh Trans Faramir is so real to me I completely forgot cis people both 1) exist in the real world and 2) probably interpret Fara as cis too. i don’t get it :(

17. there should be more of this type of fic/art

trans Faramir 🩵💗🤍

18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...

HM idk. trans Faramir again. also bc I love it, utilizing Old Norse culture for the Rohirrim teehee

19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...

OK IM MAD THAT FINNISH BOROMIR IS JUST ME. THATS ME. THATS AN OUTFIT I WEAR REGULARLY MINUS THE LONG HAIR. I DRESS LIKE THAT TO BUY GROCERIES. i love him for that tho. I’m also mad that MtG Boromir’s stupid pointy muttonchops have grown on me. freak behavior, keeping his facial hair trimmed in those stupid little points

20. part of canon you found tedious or boring

I’m fighting for my life reading the histories rn 😑 I find them very dry for the most part

21. part of canon you think is overhyped

idk? I think there is an appropriate level of hype. but idk if Rings of Power had a lot of hype. if it did, then Rings of Power is my answer

22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores

idk if it’s IGNORED necessarily but the fact that Boromir carries a Rohirric shield in the films does actually genuinely make me insane 💞 I love that sm

23. ship you've unwillingly come around to

UNWILLINGLY?????? idk?? ummmm I think it’s all fine for the most part I’m just A Fag so I don’t write het ships. it’s like a moral thing. Éowyn/Faramir gets a pass conceptually bc they’re T4T to me tho

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

idkkkkkkk I don’t engage w discourse bc I want this fandom to remain pleasanttttt

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

again idk.. I block on sight if I see a Bad Take + then I erase it from my memory so I can continue to live in a beautiful blissful world where I. forgor abt cis people ☺️

[kokonutcat]

[Naruto rant/criticism]

Please don’t interact if you’re going to insult me for having an opinion that differs from your, I will correctly tag this post so if you’re a nh stan read at your own risk. I’m not responsible of your actions.

In the recent days I’ve really been having a naruhina hate brainrot. I’ve actually always disliked that pair since the first days I started watching this anime. But the more I think about this ship and the more I dislike it and see less reasons to enjoy it.

Yeah I used to ship ss in the past, because even if Sasuke never has been interested at least he was Sakura’s teammate and had plenty of missions together. (Well I learnt from my mistakes but that’s not the topic of this post!)

However, what do Naruto and Hinata have seriously? For being characters who got married and one of them being the mc their interactions were barely existent and Naruto having basic human decency toward her isn’t a proof of him having romantic feelings. I still literally can’t picture him being on a relationship with her either, no matter how much I try. I always used to find this ship painfully bland, boring, tasteless. I would rate it a solid 1/10 at best, and I’m on a good mood rn.

I got spoiled very early that they were going to be together at the end and even despite that when I watched the last episodes it blew my mind when I saw them going to be married all of sudden. It was so hard to believe. If they were so planned to be together since the beginning they could’ve at least given them some development idk it’s not even that complicated I don’t ask Kishimoto to write peak romance. Don’t even talk to me about "The Last" lol that movie is just laughable. It’s basically Naruto into a genjutsu and Sakura forcing him, guilt tripping him to love Hinata and telling him how much "he deserves her". No sorry but I can’t take this sh*t seriously.

Another thing, when I still was into the first episodes of the series I used to think that Hinata will have a development, she will be strong and all but I was apparently wrong as hell because she’s just as pointless, irrelevant but more annoying and her whole existence stills revolve around N-Naruto-kun 🥺👉👈. The shippuden era was the moment when she seriously started to get on my nerves. She reached a new low when Neji frustratingly f*cking died for her the the only thing she was thinking about was N-Naruto-kun’s big warm and manly hand. The audacity lmao. I would be so ashamed to myself at her place. Also there’s nothing wrong with her being a housewife, raising kids is far from being an easy task by the way but she could’ve at least done something for her clan as the "Hyuga princess", especially about the oppression and slavery that endured the secondary branch through generations and that caused the death of her cousin in front of her. But no, she got married to N-Naruto-kun, so it doesn’t matter, damn why am I even surprised, that was the only goal of her life anyway. That cute uwu girl’s """"development"""" disappointed me a lot, to say the least, I saw a lot of potential in her not gonna lie.

Poor her, she existed only for the sake of a ship that happened just for the dull sequel also more commonly known as "Boruto".

[filmnoirsbian]

You’re a bit confusing sometimes. You make those posts about how people shouldn’t feel ashamed of their interests/art or be afraid of being called cringey, and how aging isn’t a bad thing, but then you also degrade some people for making or enjoying certain kinds of art you don’t like. You make fun of old people who act out of touch or “cringy” online and make jokes about how they’re gonna die soon. You seem to value people making all kinds of art but whenever it’s something juvenile or it might not be considered “real” art, you make fun of it and shame people who create and defend it. I’m not trying to be rude - I’m just genuinely confused on what your actual opinions are. Your blog is like a walking contradiction

Well the simplest answer is that, no matter how long you've followed this blog, you do not actually know me.

I also quite frankly think some of your examples are purposefully bad faith. When I was "joking about old people being cringey and dying soon" I was literally defending that person's right to be cringe. You say I say people shouldn't be afraid of being called cringe, but then when I call something cringe you assume that I'm being derogatory. I'm not. My point was always that, even if I or someone else finds something cringey, it's that person's right to do that and they shouldn't be ashamed of it. So I don't really understand where you're coming from with that. As for the rest, tbh that's just because sometimes I'm a cunt and I'm not immune to taking the piss out of something I don't like. I think there's a difference between making fun of something that some people like, and actively harassing them, but it seems like those two things get conflated online an awful lot.

[collectivecloseness]

What are your thoughts on playing a horror game with kurt while sitting in his lap and at every jumpscare jumping extra hard because kurt is literally about to exploded

You know Kurt just wants to do this sometimes, after the first accidental moment. This man is also not ashamed to cum in his pants, and I love that for him. Especially when you tell him it’s hot, seeing him under your power so much like that. So he’s happy to give you the proof. (Also depending on the game, sometimes the cool killer aspect is fun for him to peek at, as he’s getting off with you as well. Although he might not admit that small indulgence to you.) Also, I felt like this got a bit more fic-y as I was writing it, and then I felt bad because it wasn’t on par with how I’d write an actual fic. And then I remembered it’s a drabble/blurb answer, so I stopped second guessing it sm and I think that worked best bwaha

Kurt’ll be recording a gaming video for his channel, and when you open his door he’s happy to see you, inviting you over. Kurt never misses an opportunity to hang out with you, and if he’s working on filming, you can just be a part of it! He can’t help but smirk a little to his camera when you come sit on his lap, with his arms open for you, kind of like a ‘see? Told you I’m actually dating someone.’ And he wraps his arms gently around your tummy, letting them rest on your thighs as he asks if you want to play for a bit. Maybe he could make it a ‘gamer s/o’ type video.

Kurt’s a bit more used to the domestic lifestyle with you at this point. So him sitting you on his lap, as he swings a little in his gaming chair, is pretty normal for him. A good normal. He smiles as he presses kisses to your shoulder, nuzzling into it; there’s no limit to pda with Kurt, including to what he’ll post publicly. And his cheeks will stretch whenever you get your hand free for a second, and stroke his hair from your vantage point. He feels very at home, with you in his arms, and in his lap.

But then, you start wriggling. Kurt’s a wriggle worm himself. He gets it. Even if he has to clear his throat a little when he realised he’s starting to feel just a little twinge down there. But then the first jumpscare happens, and you start bouncing. Oh no

Kurt’s sucking his lips in, his hold on you twitching a little, partly wanting to retreat, but more so wanting to hold you tight and close. His fingers are picking at your shirt from where he’s holding you, shaking a little with nerves, with shame for his lust. While he keeps his face lowered, and darkened in the shadows, heated from his own flushed blood, all behind his hair that’s hidden into your collarbone. He looks up as you’re playing, to see how well you’re doing. This is an older game, so he remembers when some of the jumpscares are coming. Not all of them, but enough.

By your fourth jumpscare, you squeal as you bounce hard on Kurt’s lap. Nearly jumping off of him, before you land back again suddenly. Unaware of his hiss as you rock back and forth, trying to fight away the enemy and calm yourself down by swaying. That seals yours and Kurt’s fate.

Kurt wraps his arms solidly around you, but warmly. Pressing his face into your arm now, to try and muffle the sounds that’re gonna be coming from him. As of that moment, he just gulps a little shakily, scrunching his eyes before softly peeking then out at your game, focusing on the sensation of your warm lap, pressed right on his dick. Fuck this footage. If you don’t want him to post it, he’ll just replay this section of the game again. Not like he was paying attention anyway. And if you let him keep the footage, God that’d be awesome...

He’s getting so hard. You two have done things on Kurt’s gaming chair before, so it wasn’t so different. And with the camera recording, it add a whole other layer for Kurt. But he keeps his arms wrapped around you, not wanting you to leave. Just needing you to feel so close. He doesn’t realise that by this point, you’ve known what’s been happening.

Kurt couldn’t exactly hide how hard he was, and while he was too distracted to realise the fact, you’d noticed it. It didn’t help with how quiet Kurt was being, especially on camera, that was unusual for a start. And then when you were sure you felt something hard beneath you, Kurt wrapped his arms closer around your waist. You definitely knew what he was up to now. And he wasn’t even going to tell you he was getting off, he deserved to be teased! At the same time though, you felt for your poor baby, who got flustered so easily from you.

Another ‘jumpscare’ happens and this time when you yell, you bounce extra hard. You hear a grunt as a gush of air is pushed out your boyfriends lungs, but you keep your eyes on the screen, knowing right behind you, exactly the expression Kurt will be wearing. How Kurt’s eyes will be so cutely scrunched up, how flushed his face is going to be, with his hair sticking to it, how he’s going to be clamping down on his lips, even though you can hear his whimpers behind you. Another attack from an enemy, and you rear back on Kurt’s lap, jumping up and down with anticipation through your less then ten second confrontation. But it’s enough to get Kurt’s hands digging into your thighs.

Fro the rest of the game, you’re acting really nervous. You can’t stop fiddling on Kurt’s lap, it’s simply impossible. You’re even narrating to Kurt’s camera now, letting his ‘audience’ know how scared you are, and putting on a sort of influencer voice to describe your plan, which you knew would only make Kurt needier. Hearing you talking to his fans, while he’s recording himself getting off to you.

You’re bouncing ‘nervously’ on Kurt’s lap for the next twenty seconds, giving out a whining “Kurrrrrrt?..” as if you’re worried about entering the next room, like you need him. Knowing just what it’ll do to your boyfriend. Smiling where he can’t see, as he takes a second to respond muffled, his lips moving against your bare arm. “It’s okay baby. I’m right here.”

Kurt wants to keep up his ‘charade’, wanting to comfort you, to protect you, but also feeling himself nearly about to burst like a goddamn fire hydrant. That’s when an enemy jumps out, locking you into a battle of spamming qte’s, making you jump up and down on Kurt’s lap so fast and hard, whining low from your throat, yelling Kurt’s name, and bouncing more and more and more, until Kurt explodes.

He moans into your arm as he rocks his hips, not even audible over your own noises for him. Feeling such relief as he finally fucks against your skin, rubbing up against your lap as you bounce on his hard on, fucking out that final orgasm you’d been milking from him for so long. Holding your body so close in his arms as he squeezes you, moaning so needily as he lets you finish all the work of making him cum.

You finally defeat the boss, pleased with your gameplay. And when you stop spamming the controller for a second, you can feel the wetness on your shorts. The stickiness that’s starting to absorb into you...

You wriggle around a little. Just to really feel it. Just to see. And when you look back at Kurt, he just watches you with those fucked out eyes. But he has enough power to take your face in his hands, and push himself up to kiss you. Now he knows he’s caught. His calves linking around yours to keep you right there, sat on him, as he presses kisses over and over to your lips, moaning back ‘I love you’s when you kiss him back.

You’re smiling once he finally pulls away, waiting for your reaction. And when you inform him you might have started doing it on purpose, but it was only because he got hard in the first place! Then Kurt throws his head back with a moan, making his gamer chair squeak as you both breathily laugh. You gently slip his hand away from where it’s pressed over his eyes, the upturn of his lips still making dimples in his cheeks as you slide his palm away, waiting till his eyes open to look at you again, before you kiss him once more. Both of you tiredly smiling, and moaning small laughs into your sweet kisses.

“Well... I’ll have to refilm that playthrough.” Kurt notes. But as he wraps his arms around your stomach, for a cuddle this time, you both are jokingly arguing who should get to cum next, since you’re calling Kurt a perv, and he’s calling you just the same since you started doing it on purpose to mess with him! But after arranging that you want to look underneath the giant wet stain in Kurt’s sweats, to see just how much you really turned him on by sitting, you both agree that you getting to ride his dick for real in his gaming chair, only this time facing him, is the next thing you both need...

[destinyc1020]

To the anon who brought up Timothee and Z, you’re not slick lol. You think I don’t know a timdaya when I see one? As a long time Timothee stan since 2017 and Tomdaya I can assure you Tim and Z are nothing but friends lol. That’s it. Timothee isn’t a weirdo okay. One of the reason I stan him that his values as a person are pure and genuine. His closest circle of ppl revolves around gay men, men and women. He grew up with an older sister. He’s not one of those guys who can’t separate friendship and attraction with a woman. I wouldn’t not be a fan of him this long if that was the case. He’s a very attractive man with a lot of options beyond just Hollywood lol. Yes Z is beautiful but there’s a lot of beautiful women even more than Z.

This isn’t the first time he posted his female friends on the gram Taylor Russell has a whole layout dedicated to her by Timothee and No says anything about them. Yes, I’m aware of the Tnt rumours but now we know she’s dating Harry and most of that was just PR for Bones and All so…

I think Timothee shot himself in the foot making that 2020 bday post to Z. He now has an expectation to post every year to Z because his stans and Z’s stans get on him on Twitter lol. He might be giving bday posts until he dies or at least until the Dune franchise is done filming lol. So don’t worry pls, these two are just besties, only.

Though I’ve been giving Timothee praise, it doesn’t absolve him from criticism. His dating life is a mess.

I’m gonna get pushback but when has Timothee ever dated a black/biracial woman? Going to Darnell’s cookout don’t count lol. Growing up in New York don’t count lol. Listening to rap and music from colorists don’t count. Yes, I’m aware I’m being very strict with him. As a black fan I had to wake up from that kool aid. His words and his actions are very different lol.

All his exes and flings have been blondes and brunettes so to think him are Z are dating is just funny to me. His public persona is very different to his private lol. At least with Leo, you know his type is just models. Timothee is so secretive that I honestly feel he’s ashamed at whoever he hooks up with lol. If I was famous I wouldn’t want to date someone who’s ashamed of me and we have to constantly hide and date in secret.

As a fan of his work mainly, who he sleeps with is really not my business. I believe wholeheartedly in celeb and fan separation. However, dating Kylie was a choice lol. I don’t agree with the misogyny she has gotten from his fans, however dating a yt woman who brought her features emulating black/biracial women and profited on the insecurities of others and preach about social media’s impact on society again, a choice lol. I’m still a stan I just side eye him time to time I can’t lie.

In conclusion, Timdaya are cool besties but just besties.

Thanks for your input Anon! 👏🏾 It sounds like you have a very healthy view of your fave, and that's good. You don't put Timmy on a pedestal, you still love and appreciate him, but you recognize that his dating life can be a mess sometimes lol. 😅

Honestly, that's where I am with Austin and his "baby sitting duties" that he's currently in with the Gerber Baby as well rotfl.🤣 Like, I love Austin, but this current rlshp is just no bueno to me. 🥴 Don't get me wrong, I'm happy if he's happy, but I will never ship it. 😤

Imo, that's a healthy way to be with your faves. Like, you love them, but you don't idolize them to the point where you feel scared to admit things you don't quite like. 😊

I’m gonna get pushback but when has Timothee ever dated a black/biracial woman? Going to Darnell’s cookout don’t count lol. Growing up in New York don’t count lol. Listening to rap and music from colorists don’t count. Yes, I’m aware I’m being very strict with him. As a black fan I had to wake up from that kool aid. His words and his actions are very different lol.

I understand what you're trying to say Anon, but idk if I would look at Timmy's dating life to assume the type of person he would date in the future. No offense, but MOST people date intraracially anyway. 🤷🏾‍♀️ That's nothing new.

Plus, you can't always go by someone's "type". Tom Holland had always only dated white girls before he met Zendaya. 🤷🏾‍♀️ Who knew Tom Hiddleston would end up dating and having a baby with Zawe after he dated Taylor Swift? Who knew Nick Jonas would end up MARRYING an INDIAN woman who's older than him?? 🤣

Like, I get your point Anon lol, but c'mon...there's a first time for EVERYTHING. I don't even think Z had really dated a white man before she met Tom. So, you can't always look at someone's PREVIOUS dating habits to assume who they might be attracted to or who they might date in the future. I sure as heck didn't ever see Timmy dating someone like Kylie lol.

[the1975attheirverybest]

I’m not gonna lie, these past few months I’ve been really questioning my love for the band. I say that meaning as a black woman a lot of the shit that’s been going around is just kind of hard to hear whether it’s true or not. And I don’t really know what to believe lol. I love the band so much but I can’t tell if my hesitation to accept is truly because I don’t believe he could do that or if it’s just like obsession on my part. I don’t know if any of that made sense. I just feel iffy about everything right now

Disclaimer: this is gonna be long. Sorry if you were just looking to vent and I made it into a whole thing. Won’t be offended if you just….ignored lmao.

Hey, babe. I’m sorry to hear that it’s been rough for you. Sending you hugs.

I know how you feel, or at least, I empathize because I went through something similar way back when the podcast was originally released. In Feb? March? Something like that. Like way before the Taylor stuff and way before tabloids and all that.

When that happened, I was talking about the podcast with someone on Reddit and they mentioned Matty’s “Islamophobia” and how as a Muslim I shouldn’t support him. And, my gut instinct was to be like “you have no idea what you’re talking about.” But the comment lingered in the back of my head for a long time. I’m not saying that your experience is the same and I don’t mean to reduce your identity to simply “marginalized” in the name of intersectionality or the common grounds that you and I might share. Being a black woman is different. I’m middle eastern and a hijab wearer (though I don’t feel comfortable saying I’m ‘white’ when my ‘whiteness’ was only decided on by the courts in 1972 cuz they didn’t want to admit that Jesus isn’t white but that’s a whole other issue lmao). But I will share what my experience has been in case there’s anything of value in it for you.

Like I said, the comment lingered with me for a while. I’m a literature and philosophy double major, and as FUCKIN pretentious as that is (seriously, super pretentious) I pride myself on sharp judgement. So, even if I weren’t Muslim, id still be shaken by such comments. And the accusations of him being queer-phobic or racist or sexist also made me feel shaken. I’d be ashamed of myself if a simple celebrity-fan relationship with a straight white dude prevented me from using all the training I learned at school to make the right judgement simply cuz he has nice hair or whatever, you know? it was a jarring moment. Like would I really wanna be complicit in my own oppression like that?

So, I decided to sit with it for a few weeks and think about it. Do my own “research” and look at interviews and online posts and stage performances where he’s done the things that people have accused him of doing. Hear arguments from both sides, then see how I feel after all that.

Here is the conclusion that I came to. Matty has certain blind spots due to his privilege. Not in a standard “he’s a cis het white guy in his 30s so he’s obviously privileged.” That’s true but that’s not it. I think with him it’s kinda more specific. For example, in the GQ 40+ minute video interview where he was praised for not being hyper masculine and being comfortable with wearing skirts and stuff, the interviewer followed her praise up with “don’t you think it’s hard being a man these days with all these conflicting ideas about masculinity” And he said “well, hold on a minute, isn’t it hard being a woman? I’m just thinking out loud here isn’t it hard being a human ?”

i see where he was going with this but I disagree pretty strongly. Even if you piece it together with stuff he has said in other interviews. Like in the Ion Pack Podcast. On the topic of masculinity he said “I’m not trying to make a political statement about gender when I wear skirts or dresses. Fuckin hate that the media writes about it that way. Like have you seen any musician ever??? It’s all been done before. You could make a coffee table book out of rock and roll artists wearing women’s clothing. Especially when you think about people who lived in New York (the pod was recorded in New York so I think that’s why he said that) at the time. And who WERE gay and who WERE black. And they were true outcasts and died for it. And you wanna give me credit? I hate that.” So the hosts were talking about how that political or whatever so, later on in the pod he said “I’m not seeing it from a right wing or leftist stand point. It’s not women’s rights or black rights or gay rights. To me, it’s humanity. Were all human beings shouldn’t we all be equal? Shouldn’t equality be something we all want?”

Do you see why I’m saying he’s privileged? Only a privileged person would say that. Like, he says these things because he was lucky enough to grow up in a pretty well to do upper middle class family and has always talked about how his parents had black friends and queer friends and he would see two men kissing on his living room couch when he was young and never bat an eye so he didn’t know it was “controversial” until he grew up and stuff. “I just keep thinking ‘who cares? But it turns out people do care.”

And he always says “artists signpost towards utopia.” Which is his goal I suppose. So it’s easy for him to say it’s not about black or white. Man or woman etc. and yeah as humans there are common grounds. sure masculinity is a struggle these days but ITS A DIFFERENT KIND OF STRUGGLE from femininity and womanhood. So let’s not equate them or say that they’re similar. That’s kinda reductive. I appreciate the sentiment that we should be motivated by universal humanity, but I don’t think that’s enough. You know? Those are separate problems that require separate solutions. Yes they overlap. Yes there’s a common ground here (white supremacy and patriarchy) that oppress us all, but acknowledging difference (gender, racial, social, sexual etc) is ESSENTIAL, in my view. Maybe it’s not in his view. In any case, I believe that’s why he does / says what he does.

Same with the nepo baby thing. I see where he’s coming from but I disagree strongly with him. He’s never worked a real job or had to struggle with money so he doesn’t get it. He’s gotta learn that most humans realities aren’t the same as his. He got really lucky. He gets that in the most basic/ obvious sense. Like sometimes he’ll say “as an English white guy who am I to talk about this” or “yeah Britain colonized the whole world but I’m not speaking as a British guy just as a human being.” But I think the subtler more implicit ways that his privilege has affected his worldview aren’t always clear to him.

But does all that mean that he’s secretly racist, bigoted, sexist, etc and he “showed his true colors” on that pod? In my view: no. If he were secretly bigoted, why would he go out of his way to make songs like JC2005, Loving Someone, People, Love It If We Made It, Looking For Somebody (to love) etc. ? Why would he stand at the Brits and use his speech time to read an excerpt from a woman’s article about how sexist the industry is? Why would he go out of his way to talk IN ALABAMA about the abortion ban at the time? Does this seem like a bigoted person’s behavior? He’s repeatedly rejected opportunities to go mainstream and make a shit ton of money precisely BECAUSE going mainstream would mean that he wouldn’t be able to do that sort of thing. He doesn’t have a publicist or an executive board at DH for a reason. As an artist, he sees that his work is influenced by the world around him so he can’t separate between the two and not feel like part of the problem. Like he criticized Imagine Dragons for that. He even criticized Taylor Swift for her 2019 marketing of Lover. This is the woman that he’s supposedly been in love with for a while.

I think those things are a better representation of who Matty truly is. He’s not perfect. Even his utopian thinking about equality is flawed in itself. But he’s a human being doing his best to be part of the solution and to honor the responsibility that comes with his platform. He’s seeing a problem in society and thinking what his role as an artist is and what he can do to help fix it.

He fucks up sometimes. And sometimes he knows he’s fucked up and tries to deal with it. Other times he needs it pointed out to him cuz of his blind spots. But more often than not he gets it right. And he’s not entirely wrong about how wokeness has become performative, either. Lol. We do need a better system. But his alternative of like transcending our differences and moving into universal humanity isn’t super helpful as a basis. It might be appropriate SOMETIMES. It’s certainly true that bigotry dehumanizes its victims. Treating marginalized people as less than is what enables bigots to do what they do. If white supremacists thought of us as their equals they wouldn’t be able to hold the belief that they are better than most of the rest of the world lol. So, the reminder that “we’re all human” or as he would put it “we’re all human we’re just like you man.” Etc. is nice. Like yeah ok But not as a blanket approach. That’s the place from which Matty operates and maybe he has a tendency to think that because common humanity is so obvious and everyone agrees with it, then surely everyone understands he’s doing what he does in good faith?

That, in my view, is the extent of his problem. He’s not the vile, “rancid” or whatever else the haters in my askbox and mentions and hashtags have been saying he is. Show me a white artist who GENUINELY puts his money where his mouth is when it comes to this stuff more than Matty. He’s a good person and his intentions are noble. His way of going about it though….needs some repairs. In short, he’s a smart person. He’s aware of how oppressive the world around him is. He’s trying to do something about it. But he fucks up. A lot of what he’s trying to stand up for isn’t his own experience. And sometimes he fails to see the limitations of his view cuz of course he does.

If none of that his helpful to you, you can always remove Matty from the experience of the music. I think Harry Potter fans have done a pretty good job of that. They won’t stand for J K Rowling’s bigotry, but the franchise is such a big part of them that they’ve separated the two. Won’t even watch the remake cuz she stands to profit from it. They made their own fandom that has nothing to do with her and sometimes is actively against her when appropriate. You could adopt the same approach if you love the music and it means so much to you.

Or you could just throw it all away if it causes you too much stress. I would say follow your gut. Your heart and your brain might sometimes not be accurate. Your gut will always be right. If it just doesn’t feel right to you/ doesn’t square with who you are, then to hell with it.

From one “minority” fan to another, I’m not black. I don’t know what it’s like to be black and I never will. But I wholeheartedly believe that you’re valued in the fandom and loved and you make it better by being in it. So, I’m sending you my love and I’m always here for you. That’s all. 💗