#I’m gonna have more so get ready
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“You hate bracelets” blah blah blah I’m gonna stop you right there, cause are we gonna forget about season 2. About how Diego made a bracelet in the very first episode and didn’t even give it to her, but Lila took and decided to wear to highlight her beginning attachment to Diego. And then even season 3 when Diego shows it to her again and Lila wears it to show their love. Like huh, what are we doing, did all of them(the writers) forgot the original material and that being the previous seasons.
#a little rant#I’m gonna have more so get ready#like what was that#the umbrella academy#tua#umbrella academy#diego hargreeves#lila pitts#tua s4
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is anyone still in the mood for a hypmic imagines blog these days lol
#mod rambles#giant ramble incoming ->#the tag seems so..#dead. which makes me sad :(#it’s looking pretty grim for us yumes out there ngl#do the people still yearn for self indulgent romance with their oshis. lol#i am still very much a yume freak. perhaps more so lately. but i never do talk about my own yume ships loll#plus the yume community does not seem.. very pleasant. to say the least#i do kinda want to come back and write here#but not on this account. i’d make a new one#i kinda want to start all over tbh. like a fresh slate#plus it'd kinda force me to try and get back into the groove of writing bc i feel like i've forgotten each and every rule lol#also it's important to have a creative outlet!! even if i most likely do not have the time for one lmao#i do want to provide for the h.ypmic yume community on here though. plus i love to write#even though i'm not caught up on the drama tracks..#idk if i'm emotionally ready for them#yes i did see this is the final drb. i got the news while studying for my final the very next day so suffice to say i was not doing well lo#idk if I’d share the new blog though. but i feel like it’d be p obvious if were me? lol#but i also wouldn’t have the time to write or post so idk.#i have time rn bc I’m on break but#when school starts back up again I’m gonna be packed. esp since I’ll be starting neuro so that’s gonna take all my brain activity (ha)#also will be starting research back up again so that’s a pain#plus. truth be told this year hasn’t been particularly kind to me#i haven’t really been in the mood to write or share it bc of what’s been going on back home#my people are always on my mind all the time#esp my village#🇱🇧❤️#been doing a lot of rambling lately but not a lot of writing. hm#all this to say: i might be coming back but prob with a new blog. lol#i write a lot just to get to the bare basic point (hence the 30 tags)
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on a separate but related note, i wanna point out that part of chiyo’s journey is supposed to be finding love. it’s that thing of loving someone else is easier than loving herself, but in that love, she grows. she learns to not be so hard on herself. she learns that where she sees an ugly, overgrown garden, others see flourishing flowers. now!! that isn’t to say that platonic and familial love isn’t super important — it is!! so very much!! that’s why i want to try and build up the people around her so that i can think about how those relationships help her grow too. if not for them, chiyo would be so much worse off. there’s a lot about herself that she would always hide and stress about if not for her friends and family. she would hide away from the world itself if not for them.
but i just wanted to explain why sometimes i focus so much on romance as a concept with chiyo. i mean, i do just really enjoy shipping bc of the build up of that relationship. the development and journey is very rewarding bc it isn’t a smooth ride with chiyo 90% of the time. but pls know you are never obligated to ship with me, nor do i go in thinking you will automatically want to ship together. if i feel chemistry? yeah i may eventually say something or test the waters with a meme. but just as there’s no pressure if you want to ship, there’s no pressure if you don’t want to ship. i’m excited to write together no matter the kind of dynamic we decide on 💜
#this might sound disjointed bc i’ve been interrupted a million times trying to write it but i hope it makes sense#this has just been on my mind a lot off and on but in the past month especially#a lot of threads i prioritize end up being with mutuals i ship with and that’s just bc we’ve developed that relationship#or we’re long time mutuals/friends so i have more muse or it’s like writing something comforting bc rn i’m just stressed#but there’s a lot of mutuals i’m so excited to write with!!! and we don’t need to ship!!! pls don’t ever feel pressured!!!#this might end up being something only i’m concerned about i dunno#the other part is there’s a lot of guys vs gals on my blog rn and i stress about that like gimme your gals/feminine presenting muses rn 🔪#chiyo needs them in her life plssss#i’m extra slow to write atm but there’s so much buzzing in my brain so that’s why i just need to talk about it and make it clear ;v;#anyway i feel really disjointed and spacey so i’m gonna be quiet now and see about either watching arcane or playing lads#those are the comforts rn uvu#get ready to ramble | ooc
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finally watched happiest season and i totally understand why people hated the ending.
except for Jane. she deserves the world.
#like it’s not even about harper not being ready to come out#that’s totally her prerogative#but it doesn’t absolve her for how she treats people around her#first with riley holy fuck - and it’s implied she never even apologised to her in the years after???#with that ‘understanding’ they have towards the end#riley would have been completely within her rights to not accept that menial discussion as water under the bridge#but anyway the way harper also treats abby is downright cruel at times#the bit that got me the most was her gaslighting abby the morning after she was out all night#poor girl was just trying to make sure she wasn’t awfully hungover and gets accused of smothering her??? tf???#i really wanted harper to have something to redeem her but she just didn’t#a great moment for her would have been that chat outside the bar with her ex boyfriend#like she didn’t have to out herself entirely but she could have at least said something#she doesn’t make a single effort until it’s way too late and she got outed (like okay fair that was a horrible thing to happen to her)#but honestly i think abby should have still walked away after it#like ‘i’m happy you can be your true self now but for us it’s over’#abby definitely had far more chemistry with riley (stereotype yayaya idc)#but i don’t think they should have gotten together at the end necessarily#maybe just them deciding to keep in touch or something and THEN it happens later#like in that year forward or something - riley and abby are together and they run into harper who’s happy and moved on idk#ALSO CAN WE TALK ABOUT JANE#girlypop finally got her moment and i’m so glad they didn’t make out her book was awful just cause she was writing it for ten years#like we saw how good that painting was??#when girly puts her heart in something she’s all in#cause nobody was all in on her AND SHE DESERVES THE WORLD#honestly one of the few good characters and i’m glad she at least got a good ending#also also why you gonna cast aubrey plaza and barely give her any screen time#like pls make it make sense#haven’t gone off like that in tags for a hot minute™️#happiest season
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no those aren’t weird sex noises coming from ur neighbour’s apartment; it’s ur local insomniac slap & folding bread dough in the wee hours of the morning
#also I was doing that for wayy too long bc I think I autolysed a bit too long so the gluten structure just isn’t gonna be the best no matter#how angry I am at the dough but also idk why I’m bothering bc I’m also 80% sure the sourdough starter is not ready for bread yet#so like I’m going to have the densest loaf tmrw morning/this evening#this is a trial run abt if I remember how to make bread and if I'll actually have something edible it's a bonus#also it truly is meditative so I lost track of time bc ugh the texture of dough is just very nice#good thing abt naming it (the starter) Elvis that I now have my ’’bread making music’’ set and it’s honestly vibes#also yeah in a phase where I sleep abt every other night (unless I like rly rly try but even then it’s like max 4h and I dont get it and I#hate the process of desperately trying to get sleep more than like wasting time making inedible bread)#a human disaster but at least I will have bread#a very dense bread probably but bread nonetheless#march 2024#2024
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Banquet ( a @journey-to-the-au fic)
I had to split this into two parts because … it’s 16 pages and I did NOT want to swamp anyone with a wall of text. I’m finishing up the last bit later today possibly after work or tomorrow. I hope you all enjoy!
If there was anything that Heaven knew how to do, it was to throw a party.
In the most boring way possible to Willow.
The entertainment for tonight’s banquet of Heavenly Delight were four great white mares, set to dancing. The great beasts were dressed in robes so long they brushed the courtyard ground beyond their feathered hooves. Purple and gold, saffron and yellow silk was tied to their manes as they sashayed and side stepped in perfect tandem to the soft orchestra led by Gold Chimes Softly. The drums beat a second heart to the horses hooves. Everything was ever perfect and in time. Not a swish of a tail or a twitch of an ear. Willow heard the bells on the great hooves beat in perfect harmony. Other women from their seats applauded as the mares danced softly from side to side. To everyone who awaited the main course and delighted in the dancing, it was the most marvelous entertainment.
To Willow, she was bored to her wits end.
Not a single spark of spontaneous will, Willow thought as her hands settled in her lap. It was another feast her father had requested by letter for her to attend. Well her and Wukong who-even now after almost hundreds of years!- the celestial busy bodies still whispered that she, Earth Reaching Willow, must be under some sort of cursed spell, some beguilement to be married to him.
Sometimes the pasty nobles and smooth beautiful faces of the lady’s behind their fans and sleeves earned the deepest scorn from Willow.
She looked up to the sky. They were seated in the courtyard of sorts, where the pavilions were open to the air and backdropped by the perfectly cut ivy crawling it’s way up the trellis. The warm air and the music was welcome but also stifling in a sense. Incense burned not too far away, cloying with the scent of cooking food in the worst possible way. Willow saw that every star was in its perfect place, the constellations playing at perfection to please their Emperor. Another laugh from nearby caught her ear over the dancing horses. She turned and saw a few attendants huddled in a whisper, pointedly looking between other guests at the banquet. Seems their is rumor scheming going about. How dull.
I bet none of them have witnessed the beauty of a star shower from earth.
She hid it well however, her scorn. Willow couldn’t understand how anyone would choose Heaven over the ever changing earth below. None of these thoughts made themselves visible on her face however. Schooled and taught, bred to peaceful serenity, Willow let nothing ripple the calm of her outward appearance. As cool as a northern star, as serene as a flower in a vase.
Captive peace was hardly true peace. It was stagnation. It was the loss of what made the peace worthwhile. Willow had experienced that feeling: of tumbling in the grass, the heat of the fire as a lightning strike burned a forest down, of the sea and its salty spray in a storm. Willow had felt the movement of a world and it had caught her and held her constantly in its motion.
She took a sip of wine to hide her mouth as it began to slip into a frown. The wine may be of the best quality, brewed by the greatest hands and purified in the finest crystal, but it would never compare to the joy of the toasts her earthen family held in their patch of paradise. Of how when Ba got into his cups he would challenge his sister Ma to a duel of jokes and japes. The music made by Sweet, a kind little monkey, was a better tune and full of more life then Gold Chimes Softly well placed and organized orchestra. Sweet could play a jaunty tune upon their flute, while the rest of his little musician group followed along. They could whip the troupe into a frenzy of dancing and table jumping. Willow had danced before, controlled and reserved like the Mares in their bells and ribbons. But dancing within her husband's court had been an experience she never would have imagined missing. The dancing wildness and stamping feet, the spinning from partner to small partner, the joy that filled the air and the laughter. It had been better than star wine - it had been an intoxication that had left her heart drumming and face smiling wide.
The horses finished their beautiful dance and the court clapped. Willow clapped too. The mares did wonderfully. It was not their fault that the dance felt too restrained, too controlled.
Her father was happy to have her home. Willow could tell by the very evident glances down to his daughters from his seat at the head of the table. He had all of his family arrayed about him, basking. Willow made polite conversation that only scraped surface level with her sisters and the passing women who came to visit her seat. Willow complemented the lady’s jewels and colored gowns. To the men she disarmed a hundred pointed comments that were trying to dig beneath and get to the root of what would be tender and delectable tea to spill in court.
That great sage- he drinks with a gusto! Is it always this way?
Translation - is he a drunk ?
My what clothes. Such a unique style it must have been picked up in his travels!
Translation: He dresses like a Savage. Is He a Savage to you?
Willow had almost slapped another adviser who had pointedly remarked on the lack of children they had and questioned Wukongs ability to perform.
Her sisters, oh her clever sisters, had rallied to her defense in the most courtly way they could: they turned him into a piece of gossip to throw back to court.
“Did you hear?” Wind Over Sea stage whispered to Autumn Leaves Falling.
“Oh do tell!” Autumn Leaves Falling flashed her most wonderous smile, catching the Advisor in her trap.
“Seems that Moon Shadowed Clouds husband has been kicked out of their bedroom!” Wind replied, making direct eye contact with the Advisor.
“How terribly pitiful!” Weaves the Clouds remarked from her cushion beside the other sisters. The Jade Emperor watched from above, keeping himself out of the gossip.
“Wasn’t he caught drinking down in one of the mortal brothels ?” Autumn added, her eyes slashing toward the advisor.
“I heard it was on his Wife’s birthday to boot!” Winter Frosted Grace sniffed, setting her cup of tea down.
Her sisters turned in unison to stare down the Advisor with such cat like intensity.
“For shame!” Little Weaver Girl, the youngest of the brood of women, said loud enough for the court to hear. Little could get away with being louder than the rest- she was adored by their father and was the master weaver of heaven. Her creations had been sought after by all the courts when their father had worn one of her robes that Little had made. “Trying to twist your bad fortune onto my sister.”
The advisor, of course, made a swift exit with red ears and wounded pride.
Willow was thankful for her sisters. They alone understood that Willow, for whatever reason, had found comfort with Wukong and was truly happy. They didn’t see why she wished to remain down among the earthly mortals. Her happiness was what they valued and, like a streak of tigers, would defend with witty claws and well disguised barbs any that fancied a go at making court gossip from the Emperors family.
Willow wished for the upteenth time that she could bring the lot of them to their mountain. To see what she saw. She knew deep down that none of them would really understand. Except for Little. Her youngest sister often snuck from the court to watch the common people live their lives and to see the other mortal weavers of the world. Little would love their mountain. She began to think of Flower Fruit Mountain as theirs - her and Wukongs. It Held so many memories- so many joys and sorrows.
Where was Wukong?
Willow was surprised he had been absent so long. Wukong was still a bit unaccustomed to the Celestial workings of the court and it’s people. Even after attaining buddhahood and becoming an enlightened master, Willow knew that the gossip surrounding them would never die out. It was tiresome to interact with people who still brought things up from almost centuries ago.
She cast her gaze about for him and saw a flash of his red fur—
And his teeth.
Willows stomach fell, like a falcon folding her wings for a dive. Straight to the bottom of her soul
Wukong was surrounded by a swath of richly dressed courtiers, lords and men of the Palace. They kept a respectful courtly distance but Willow knew it was too close. Her dear friend was giving all the warnings she had learned over the centuries together to read. His eyebrows had been raised at the beginning of her watching but now they lowered, the teeth on full display. A smile of aggression. A smile that said ‘I take offense’. He felt accosted and would soon act upon it. For all the calm that had been taught, her husband could not forget that he was a creature that had to fight for so long.
Oh these utter fools, Willow thought. They still don’t know when to leave him well enough alone.
It would be their fault for not understanding Wukongs simple and very obvious attempts to walk past and around them. But another man would join, asking to hear of his teachings from the Buddha himself, and his eyes would make direct contact with theirs and the teeth would shine all the sharper. That wasn’t a smile. That was a promise of violence.
Willow knew if Wukong reacted it would only cement the court's opinion of Wild Beast they saw. Willow had to act fast before the feast turned from one of peace to one of violence. So Willow, setting her goblet down whispered to her nearest sister, Winter.
“Catch me.”
“Beg pardon?”
And then Willow, with the grace of all her years of acting and tricking the witless fools of Heaven, swooned and fainted. Winter caught her, crying out in more surprise than worry.
Willow made sure she brought her hand up dramatically to her face, the sleeve covering her mouth. Her elbow she had knock into the tray that held food and Willow was rewarded with the loudest clatter of porcelain cracking onto the floor beneath them. The goblet she had placed was sent flying to spill into the rug beneath their cushioned seats.
Sorry father. I know you wanted a peaceful night with us all.
Her dramatics had the desired effect: the court all took in a sudden breath and some gasped. She heard her father call to her and the worry in his voice made Willow's heart beat with a bit of guilt.
“Sister?” She felt hands shake her shoulders in worry and looked up beneath lashes into Winters frosty face.
“Play along, so that way the court doesn’t catch on.” Willow whispered and her hand subtly pointed to where Wukong had been- and where he was running up to her.
“Willow!” He sounded so worried it made her heart give another guilty squeeze. His hands had grown in size, meaning he had made himself larger than regular. “Are you alright my love?”
Willow looked just beneath her arm as she brought it up higher in a mock groan. But he was close enough to hear her now.
“Let’s go home.” Willow could see the stress lines on his face, the anger that had been there cooling like coals in a fire.
“Seems my sister fainted.” Bless her, Little was close enough to see that a game was afoot. And she always approved of games. “It’s been so long since she was at the Palace after all. The scents may have overwhelmed her.”
Wukong looked down just long enough to see Willow give a wink. Some of the tension leaked from him and she could feel it leave his hands. His fast mind seized onto this statement (now that he was given a signal that this was a ruse) and elaborated upon the story.
“My wife was worried about tonight. The winds over our mountain have been so clean and clear while Heavens incense must have overwhelmed her delicate nose.” Wukongs arms took her up, face close to hers.
“How did you know?” He mumbled into her hair. He didn’t ask her if she knew what. Wukong understood that she was doing this for him in some way. It was the intuition of being with each other for so long.
“Saw those courtiers - the fools.” She barely moved her lips to speak and was glad to have her sleeve covering her face. She couldn’t help the smile as he blew air into her ear, tickling her.
“You are a Heaven send.” He said to her then addressed the court.
“Seems my wife needs to clear her head. We will head home on the leave of my Father-in-Law the Jade Emperor.”
“You may go, Sun Wukong. Let me - let me know how she fares will you?” The worry that made the end of his voice tremble at the end had Willow feel just a bit more guilt.
Sorry Father.
Willow felt Wukong bow his head and then they were away, faster than a falling star on a path back to earth. Once past the Celestial guards Wukong tapped her shoulder with a claw and Willow dropped her act and sighed.
“Thank small mercies.” She sighed, gazing out at the fast approaching world below.
“Mercies exist but they are not small.” Wukong said. “I’m holding one in my arms.”
“You flatterer.” She laughed at the sappy look he gave her and she pressed his nose with a delicate finger. “Come, tell me true- what we’re those vipers cornering you about?”
“Seems they were beginning to question my … ability to … well …” Wukong was looking everywhere but her, the wind blowing across his fur. It couldn’t hide the blush turning his face and ears into a tomato.
It only took a second for Willow to understand- and she turned in his arms to glare back into the sky. “I will flay that Advisor!”
“Advisor?”
“Yes. The little shrew of a man must have set the rumour to running before he approached me himself.” The coward. She was glad her sisters had known enough gossip to spin his dilemma into a full show for the court. Willow touched Wukongs cheek, worried. “Tell me what happened.”
“They started asking about my ascension in Buddhism and asked about my teachings. Then they started … well. In on the questions of you and me and our… intimacies.” He was so uncomfortable that he was rubbing at his forehead, claws leaving little red marks on his exposed skin. “It started making me uncomfortable and I couldn’t see or get a clear path to return to you.” Wukong sighed. “I’m sorry Willow.”
“Sorry? You have nothing to apologize for! That man had come up to me and my sisters to dig at us for information as well.” Willow chuckled, remembering how Little, Winter, Cloud and Autumn had perfectly embarrassed the man. “Of course you know the sort my sisters are- even if they don’t quite approve of me living on earth they won’t stand for such pointed questions.”
“You were asked about children as well?”
“Yes and I was about to slap him.” This made Wukong laugh. They sped past a cloud front, promising heavy rain. The mountain was coming into sight now within a sea of jet black turned silver by the moon.
“I would have paid good money to see it. The second slap heard in all of Heaven!” Wukong chortled. Then he sobered. “I’m sorry again.”
“Stop Wukong.” Willow caught his face and pressed a kiss to his temple. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”
And then her stomach gave a tremendous growl, like the traitor it was. It took the wind from her words and flamed Wukongs look of timid regret.
“I pulled you away from the feast before you could even get a bite in.”
“We have all the food back at home.” Willow countered. Cursed stomach. As the Mountain got closer and the silence stretched a bit longer Willow looked back at her friend. His face was concentrated in thought that was slowly beginning to brighten to delight.
“Wukong, I know that face. What are you thinking ?”
He was silent, trying to make his face neutral again. And failing miserably. Once they had stepped down and onto solid ground, Wukong set Willow down and returned to his original size.
“Wukong…” Willow tried again, but was interrupted as the two sentries that night, Ma and Ba, came bounding forward, weapons drawn. When they saw it was Wukong and Willow they relaxed and called greetings.
“My King? You Return so soon!” Ma said.
“Was the feast good?” Ba asked, his broken tail giving an agitated flick.
Wukongs face was fully alight with a genuine smile as he looked at Willow then back at his family.
“The feast was a drab thing of mediocre blathering. We will outdo them here!” The Monkey King walked forward, taking Willows hand gently. She followed, knowing that she was about to get her answer to what Wukong was about to do
“Ma! Ba! Call the troupe- fire up the ovens. Set Water Curtain Cave in its best ! We will have our own feast that will rival Heavens!”
“Yes my king!” The two answered in unison then sped off, whooping and calling and waking all of the mountain for a feast. Ma grabbed at her brothers ear and yanked, getting ahead of him. Ba snarled in mock aggression, swinging his leg to knock Mas out from under her. The two had turned it into a race and it didn’t seem that either would make it out without a few bruises along the way.
“They seem eager for it.” Wukong laughed. He led Willow into their home as the lanterns were turned from their sleepy glow to a bright blaze.
“Wukong …”
“What?”
“Why a feast? I don’t need a feast — I would be satisfied with a simple fruit tart and some water.” Willow felt a bit guilty as she saw sleeping mothers poke their heads from the stone homes and peer out at the ever growing and excited crowd calling for feasting. She saw the kitchen fires light up like a twinkling row of stars coming to life.
“Nonsense!” Wukong assured, pulling her along. “ Why should Heaven have fun and we not have any? Besides I have to find a way to thank you for saving my pride while you lost a bit of your own.”
Was that what this was about ?!
“Oh Wukong it’s fine! Women are expected to faint and fall over themselves with the silliest things.” Her sisters had fainted countless times. Mostly to attract the eye of a gentleman or women they thought was beautiful or fancied. Willow had seen Autumn take the most spectacular swoon, right into the arms of one of the generals! Maybe theatrics ran in the family. Wukong simply shook his head. The idea had him now, the excitment of competing with Heaven growing brighter in his eyes.
“I won’t hear of it.” Wukong declared. Willow forgot how competitive her friend could be. But he also was hiding something else he wanted to do. She could read it like a book.
“You are planning something else are you not? Don’t lie, I can see it on your face plain as day!” She teased him, his mirth infectious. The whole cavern was now alive with the news- droves of the family were coming out now gathering in the banquet hall with foodstuffs to share and enjoy in. Wine was being brought up from the deeper colder caves and already the air smelled intoxicating as the cooks set to work.
It was Wukongs turn to wink at Willow now as he left her at her room door, smiling softly. “You will see~”
#hcwrites#writing stuff#for journey to the au#FIRST PART BEFORE I HAVE TO GO TO WORK#The next part is gonna be real long I’m so sorry#I got a bit carried away because writing joy and mirth is possibly one of the best experiences ever.#jttw sun wukong#jttw au#the betrothal au#I would love to post the second half right away but I’m not completely done with it#I want to add more fluff and such#jttw tag#fanfic writing#I put fanfic on this one because - well. drabbles are usually shorter and I use Drabble in such a loose term#this behemoth of writing is definitely not a little drable#jttw monkey king#I CANT wait to finish the second part but I have to get ready for work#I love all of Kaijus monkeys ok? they are precious#I really tried to stick to the three name form for the sisters too#I DONT trust myself to try and attempt direct chinese letters/ mandarin#also- I keep saying flower fruit mountain for the ease of spelling because I did try and spell out the full mountain name that is being used#HOWEVER I QUICKLY DISCOVERED THAT MY PHONE HATES IT AND WILL CHANGE IT TO HOUGANDAS#so I got frustrated and said ‘no’ lol#I also Found that in the late tang dynasty they had horses perform dances for entertainment#ERW#earth reaching willow#enjoy part 1 sorry to leave you without the second bit#jttw fanfic#hcfanfics
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TSITP BOOK THREE (WE’LL ALWAYS HAVE SUMMER) SPOILERS!!!
Heard lots and lots about the song enchanted for the scene that will hopefully happen in season three of the summer I turned pretty when Conrad confesses he still loves Belly and tells her about how Jere cheated the night before the wedding.
BUT WHAT ABOUT LOML FROM TTPD??!!
WHAT ABOUT THAT??!
Just imagine:
‘It was legendary, it was momentary, it was unnecessary’
as she walks away from him and reminisces about their relationship and starts crying as she mourns them
‘Should’ve let it stay buried, oh what a valiant roar, a bland goodbye’
The camera pans back to Conrad and we see him struggling and emotional too as he looks at Belly with all this wistfulness like what we saw before in the exile scene.
And then all the other lyrics until
‘And I’ll still see it, until I die, you’re the loss of my life’
And Belly’s collapsed on the beach like she does in the book and just begins ugly crying, similar to the sobs when she calls her mother and then we have all the outro music and the episode ends.
IT WOULD BE ICONIC
In my opinion
#tsitp#the summer i turned pretty s3#the summer I turned pretty#tsitp series#tsitp books#we’ll always have summer#tsitp s3#tsitp show#tsitp tv series#tsitp tv show#Conrad fisher#belly Conklin#bonrad#Conrad fisher x belly Conklin#Conrad x belly#Jeremiah fisher#while I was writing this I realised this could also work for the scene literally a few hours before the wedding ig the bye bye birdie scene#where he kisses her on the forehead and is just like I’m not gonna hurt you anymore and she’s like damn why does this hurt so much#BC HES YOUR SOULMATE BELLY#anyway I feel like loml could defs work for that scene too#especially if she has some photos that’s she’s looking at while she’s getting ready and after he leaves#but I feel like it would have more of an impact in this scene imo#anywayyyy that’s all thanks so much for reading
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ok aaaaaaa ermm we r good we r so good rn errrrmmm
#it’s fine I think#mental health has been in the gutter so I am trying to do something to fix that cause it is a lot worse than usual#so im gonna talk to my mom abt it cause she’s good with mental health stuff#but one of the main problems I’m havin right now is that I’m Probably Definitely Somewhat Not Cis#and I’m. really not ready to try to articulate that#but if I don’t I think things will only get worse so uh it’s a real dilemma!#I am terrified heehee oooouuuuhhhhhgggg#I’m worried more about invalidation than anything#she’s not a hateful person in the slightest but when I have expressed stuff like this before#she has every explanation in the book other than gender dysphoria so. I dunno.#I feel sick. this isn’t very poggers!#it will be fiiiiiine I thiiiiink
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what if. Amy “fix-it” because hallucifer makes sam so paranoid about dean leaving for no reason that sam gives in and follows him and is witness to the whole thing
#hallucifer: wow. big brother really trusts us. (beat) so something’s up right? we know it’s never this easy.#sam: (visibly restraining himself from saying shut up. about to grab his scar.)#hallucifer: (aware he’s about to be banished) don’t listen to me if you want but. I’m just trying to help.#don’t blame me if you look in the papers tomorrow and find a obit for your brain-eating girlfriend. and… what was her kid’s name again?#sam: (touching the scar. not pressing down. face all screwed up.) || hallucifer: :3 it’s not like it’ll hurt anyone#if he really does trust you he doesn’t even have to know we’re following him. *and* you’ll know your brother still trusts you.#even when I’m here. maybe he won’t even punch you again. that still hurting?#sam: (grimace. because yeah. it does.) || hallucifer: door number two - he thinks you’ve lost it and he’s going to stab that woman to death.#so what’s it gonna be Sam? ready to gamble your friend’s life on if Dean gives a shit about your opinion?#[and that’s the point where sam goes to follow dean. still doesn’t talk to Lucifer. not there yet. but oh hallucifer is sooo pleased with#himself about this. because he’s Sam. and he picks up on what Sam doesn’t. and he could see all of Dean’s little giveaways that Sam was#turning a blind eye to. and now here’s the perfect opportunity to put a wedge between them and get sam to trust him more <3)#GOD. FUCK. IM UPSET NOW. WHY WASNT HALLUCIFER IN THAT EPISODE. MOST OF THE EPISODES?#such a good fucking concept. squandered.#anyway. idk if sam saves Amy but he DEFINITELY here’s Dean’s little speech to her about how she can’t change.#hallucifer with faux sympathy like (sigh) damn. well. i always told you what he was like. Michael. Michael-sword. no difference.#both of them want us dead the moment we step out of line.#and Sam just frozen there in horror with Lucifer’s voice sinking in. and he believes him. how can he not. with dean proving him right#hallucifer#spn#sam winchester#amy pond
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nothing like a guy you know breaking his hand, doing jack shit about it, and being a little shit in *just* the right way that it gets you to be a little shit back and you end up laughing together
and then once you leave you remember you’ve been medically trained for this exact kinda thing for over a decade and your brain suddenly supplies a cozy lil fantasy of you bandaging him up, suddenly forcing you to realize that *fuck* you’ve got your dumb little heart involved again, haven’t you
#I’ve got a care kit all ready to go cause I’ll be seeing him tomorrow#and yeah I’ve already emphasized to him how important it is that he sees an actual doctor for it#but it’s been two days and he keeps refusing so#guess I’m gonna fulfill another fuckin fanfic trope#at this point I should really just make a bingo card#also I don’t know if I’m crossing my fingers more for him having someone else do it or me#cause I get flustered very easily and it’s very goddamn noticeable#and gently holding a cute guys hand while I stabilize it and wrap it is way more than enough to do that#this wouldn’t be a problem if he’d just! go! to! a! doctor!#we have a decent chc in town that can heeeeeeeelp#I’d write a goddamn essay about why he should go but even I know that’d be pretty weird#anyways wow it’s 5am so I’m gonna sleep now#have a good day/night y’all
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Shoutout to my mom
#so my school is like. an hour away so when mom drives to work that’s when we have to get ready for school no matter how early#I just wish she’d give me more heads up#bro this is the second time she told me we’d need to be there at like 6am at 10pm#like girl I’m not even done my homework I’m gonna die there’s no way I’m getting enough sleep#I also don’t want to look like shit and super tired tomorrow because it’s picture day#I also need to shower#urgh#and I know her job is important but like. a bit more heads up would be nice#vent#fucking rambling
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Brave the Dark’s birthday is in ~1 month and in an ideal world I would post Chapter 9 Specifically on that day for REASONS
#it’s a todoroki chapter :)#it is. not going to happen though bc after the everything with chapter 7#i need to pay very close attention to 8-10#I actually have So Many Things that are almost ready to post bc i didn’t want to post anything#until the first chapter of fake dating was our#*out#and now i’m like WHAT DO I FOCUS ON FIRST#now i’m glad i get forever chapter 2? (beefy def not gonna be next :( )#brave the dark chapter 8? (my beloved more dad mic)#yet another fic in which i have given shinsou both anxiety and an interaction with a character#he barely stands next to in canon?#… deanon star wars au?#waffle house parking lot fight fic?#liza blather#liza writes a fantasy au
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tonight i’m resting and keeping to myself bc i just need a minute, but tomorrow i think i’ll tinker with my rules and tidy up this blog overall. i’ve been thinking about a few things that have likely contributed to me feeling overwhelmed here, and i need to sit down and drop old drafts/asks, clean up my followers list, and set a lil boundary. hopefully after i do, i can get back to writing and bugging y’all at a normal pace 💜
#or a normal pace for me asdfg#i just kinda? felt sick at the idea of coming online tonight#and that feeling passed but it made me go “oh i need to really do something about this huh”#and it’s not anything serious i think it’s more so understanding the way i am and what makes me anxious or overwhelmed and accepting that#rather than forcing myself to try and work past those feelings bc i want to make things easier for others#or bc i feel bad for letting go of things i don’t have muse for anymore#anyway anyway! i’m gonna finish my silly lil scary movie and hopefully have an early night#tbh the lack of sleep probably didn’t help my feelings today either :’ )#please take care of yourselves and remember to take breaks 💜💜💜 mwah mwah!!#get ready to ramble | ooc
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coping with things so well today so i’m bragging about it ✨
#had a SMALL emotional reaction to something but then like breathed through it and was very normal#and then something that might’ve made me feel kinda alone and insecure a year or two ago#actually just made me feel happy which is a MUCH preferable reaction#and one that matches the reaction in my head#my emotions are not me#they tell me things but they’re only a piece of the puzzle and I can still decide how I process things beyond the immediate emotions#also did a bunch more organizing of my stuff for packing#and wrote things in my planner for the first few weeks of school#I already have several plans and events!!!!#and instead of pushing someone away I suggested some plans a few months away#bc that gives both of us kinda a sense of security in the friendship?#they’re worried about losing me with me going back to school#and I’m worried about losing them bc they have kinda a major obsession w/ someone else rn#(which is pretty cute when my brain isn’t being an insecure dick)#so this makes us both be like ‘even if things change we still have plans and our friendship will withstand those changes’#anyway gonna get ready to go walk up a big hill for fresh air#today has been a good day overall#OH AND ANOTHER FRIEND DROPPED BY OUT OF THE BLUE#AND GAVE ME A HAND SEWN EMBROIDERED CHARM FOR BACK-TO-SCHOOL!!!!#and a little card about how they’re proud of me and will be there for me on this journey!#god now I’m gonna cry#I have the most amazing friends in the whole freakin world#personal
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slamming my head against a brick wall WHYYYY WON’T IT LET ME FILL OUT THE FAFSA WHY WHY WHY WHY
#I’VE SPENT ALL DAY TRYING TO GET IT FINISHED BUT NOOO#I FILLED OUT EVERYTHING CORRECTLY I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHY IT WON’T LET ME COMPLETE IT#what makes it all the more frustrating is that this could all be avoided completely if we#just STOPPED BOMBING OTHER COUNTRIES#WE DON’T NEED TRILLIONS OF DOLLARS FOR OUR MILITARY#and the old fucking asshats who run this stupid shitshow all think that since THEY had to pay off their student loans#(even though they almost certainly did not because they’re all banked up with their daddy’s money)#then WE should have to pay it off too#and it’s ridiculously overpriced too#for me to attend for four years is $120.000#for WHAT??#i just wanna learn about plants man please this is insane#it would be soooo beneficial to our overall economy if school was just free (or wayyy cheaper) but no#politicians LIKE when we’re in debt to them so they can control us#i’m so mad rn if you couldn’t tell#i had a whole rant ready but i don’t feel like being put on a watchlist#if the revolution doesn’t happen within my lifetime i’m gonna be so fucking pissed off
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#okay i’m gonna try to keep this short and sweet. 30 tag maximum you are my nemesis lol#my main issue here is not necessarily that the karaoke and other bach party scenes have likely been cut#it’s more that they’re clearly buddie baiting for engagement#journalists were watching the episode as early as saturday. which means the ep was ready by at least this time last week#so they knew that the scenes had been cut. and they chose to continue including it in promotion and interviews#i KNOW that logically the reason they chose those scenes to cut was because they’re less important. and we’d already seen them#they technically already gave us the clips in the promo videos. right? so bye bye#but that’s bullshit. sorry#they used buddie best friendism content as a way to promote the ep and increase hype#and then they just pull it out from under us the day before it airs#this is a madney episode. madney are getting married. buddie having fun is not the most important thing here. i get it#so why did they not promote something else? you’re telling me there was NOTHING ELSE they could’ve used?#nothing else from the episode that was free of big spoilers? at all???#it’s madney’s episode but they chose to promote one clip of buddie talking to maddie. one of chim crawling. and the bach party stuff#they must know that people would focus on the bach party. buddie is beloved buck and eddie are beloved#what were they expecting??#they used buddie as a pairing as bait. not queer bait and not even ship bait i suppose as there was nothing ‘shippy’ shown#but they baited buddie content. that’s literally what’s happened#i would be more understanding if this wasn’t a regular occurrence. it’s normal sure. shows do this all the time with fan faves#but also it is a false reflection of the episode. even journalists are saying the episode is not what they expected from the promo#it honestly feels like they’ve made fools of us. maybe the episode will air and it’ll be better than expected#but i don’t have much hope not much hope for buddie. not much hope for madney getting what they deserve. ZERO hope for eddie’s 7b storyline#frankly i’m expecting b/t to be the main chat after this ep. which is……. anyway#i’m not really liking s7 so far and i feel gaslit when people say it’s great lol#IN MY OPINION it is choppy and too fast and a little ooc and doesn’t make a lot of sense#they didn’t even green light bi!buck until episode. what. 2/3??#so presumably had to change everything from then on#i know that’s partly down to limited episode numbers but… 3 eps for the cruise (unnecessary) but 1 for madney wedding? ok#sigh. if anyone’s read this far pls don’t come for me ok. these are just my opinions#we’re all entitled to them. i’m sad for madney and i’m sad for buddie best friendism and i’m sad for s7 as a whole right now
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