#I’m glad there are some other ppl out there who agree with me too

[lazzarella]

Anyway, Kidnap was just the perfect show for me! 10/10 no notes. Will definitely watch again and again. Big win for this rom com lover 🙏🏻

[killugon-truther]

hxh CAA gon rant/analysis

i honestly feel like some ppl judge gon a little too harshly when it comes to his actions in the CAA, specifically what he said to killua in ep. 116.

while i do agree he should apologize (which he did, offscreen and onscreen after killua teasingly mentioned it in ep. 147), i also don’t think that gon’s sole intention was to be cruel and dismissive towards killua.

i definitely agree that that was part of it, he was trying to be harsh in an effort to push killua away. but i do think that he was also trying to push away one of the last good things, the BEST thing, out of his life.

it’s behavior i’ve witnessed in other fictional media and even irl: being a dick in order to push away someone you rly love in order to continue sabotaging and destroying urself w/o them trying to help you. even more so, you can sometimes even see it as protecting your loved one from yourself and the situation at hand.

if there’s one person who can bring gon back from his own darkness or recklessness, it’s killua [ex: ep. 95 when gon literally almost kills morel & killua is able to swiftly snap him out of it]. he can (or at least could, at the time) bring gon back w just a simple touch and a few words, and gon knows that. it’s part of the reason he’s so grateful for killua in the first place— killua is always there for him, esp when he needs him.

but gon doesn’t want killua’s touch or his soothing words anymore, he doesn’t want his help, and he doesn’t want to be saved. and it definitely isn’t bc he doesn’t want killua anymore or doesn’t value him or his friendship, but bc he doesn’t believe he deserves it. he simply isn’t in the mindset to receive any kind of help in the slightest, not even from his closest ally.

gon subconsciously and consciously blames himself and only himself for kite’s death. and gon has shown that while he’s become comfortable and okay with the idea of killua sacrificing himself for him [ex: ep. 70, when both killua and gon are willing to sacrifice killua’s hands during the dodgeball game], he’s NOT okay w killua dying for him [ex: ep. 50, where killua vowed to serve as a distraction for gon to escape, and gon smacks him & seriously seriously tells him that HE’S allowed to talk abt dying like it means nothing like he also did earlier, but killua isn’t]; gon values killua’s life over his own.

gon’s combination of self-loathing and intense misplaced responsibility/guilt and thinking abt keeping killua safe so he can punish himself, while also being in that already very deteriorated mindset during the arc is what lead to those words. gon knew it would hurt, and that was the point.

“it has nothing to do w you” = “kite’s death has nothing to do w you. it was all my fault, so let me suffer for it now alone.”

if he’s at fault for kite dying, then why would he even deserve someone like killua still being at his side? why would killua deserve to be disposed to the same fate as him?

it’s what made me re-think pretty much every “thank you!” gon has given to killua; there seems to be moments of gon being so grateful bc he doesn’t entirely or always believe he deserves killua being at his side and having his back no matter what [ex: ep. 61 where gon felt guilt for killua having a spell on him, walking away from the ppl who could have possibly helped, & helping him in order to find his dad, thinking all of those things are his fault, and then thanks killua whole-heartedly right after: “killua… thanks. i’m glad you came with me. no- i’m glad i got to know you!”].

someone loves him, despite his selfishness (that’s not an insult btw !! all hxh characters can be selfish) and other faults. killua is still staying by his side, refusing to leave him no matter what. killua isn’t abandoning him (don’t even get me started on my belief of gon’s abandonment issues and how it affects his low self-esteem and self-loathing; his guilt often overrides his sense of self-preservation and triggers his black-and-white mindset).

and while i also doubt that gon was aware of the lovers’ suicide (“shinjiuu���) killua planned to commit w him (ep. 121) but if he did, then i can imagine that would influence in actions in pushing killua away even more. i think one of the last things gon would ever want killua to do is die for/w him; why would he, when killua’s life is sm more important to him?

i’ve actually seen how it’s become a pattern for gon to display moments of maturity, intelligence, and self-awareness, but for it to easily become glossed over and he then gets stereotyped as a one-dimensional, black-and-white character when i think he’s more complex than that.

it’s not that big of a deal ofc, but it’s just interesting to see some ppl come to conclusions such as “gon is a selfish monster and a terrible person who doesn’t care abt killua” or smth like that.

if u have any opinions, comments, and/or criticisms, pls let me know !! hope you enjoyed this.

[mazzystar24]

Hi, a 'BT' here! (Although I also happily ship buddie too because multishipping is so valid!) I come in peace and just looking for some discourse if that's okay? I saw the ask in regard to apparently BTs are saying that all the focus on rg means he's leaving? I haven't seen anyone say that on either side so a strange one huh!

But it was more your comments in terms of pushing for Tommy to replace Eddie as lead when Ravi is right there and I just wanna say I agree! And I have seen many bucktommy shippers including myself pushing for Ravi to be main cast. He absolutely should be and deserves it and is an absolute darling angel and I love what he brings to the whole dynamic!

My biggest hope for Tommy is for his to be recurring much like Karen! Speaking of, there's another character I'd love to be main cast and who I think is ahead of the queue in front of Tommy to be main cast. Heck I'd love if all of them got to be main cast but, as much as I love bucktommy, I definitely can see there's an order to who should be main cast and don't want any 'queue jumping'

One other thing I want to out out there as food for thought, is that on both sides I see a lot of discourse thrown out through anonymous asks of 'oh the bts are saying this' or 'the buddies said this ridiculous thing!' And something I would love both sides to seriously consider is... did they really? Or are there just a few people out there who feed on the chaos that it all brings and will send out anon asks that they know will increase this 'fandom war'and pretend they are kn the other side when doing so just to get a reaction and give ammunition to 'their' side to make it seem like one side is delusional and the other side isn't?

Tldr I just wish we all got along and stopped taking messages intended to stir up hate as gospel.

Peace and love

Glad you agree on the Ravi/ main thing front!

As you know I want tommy out already so no recurring hopes from me sorry 😔💔 ngl at first I was like hmm it can be interesting and I’m not opposed to exploring bt and their potential dynamic and maybe they can redeem him and make him likeable it’d be perfect (like my comparison was if they wrote him like Hannah from bones) but like buddie endgame but as eps went on both he and a section of the fandom became so insufferable to me that I’m like I don’t care about the potential juicy storylines I just want this man off my screen - but it’s totally cool if you like him and ship them it’s just not my cup of tea

For the other part I totally get what you mean and that may be the case like I totally agree that that is possible but I hear like so many things that happen in the bt fandom secondhand cos I’ve got so many of the toxic/annoying ones blocked (my block list is a mile long genuinely) and so many have me blocked too but usually stuff that my anons mention will be talked abt by more people in the fandom (like this is) or like there have been times where if I ask my anons for elaboration links ss etc and they are able to do so

That’s why half the time when I reply it’s more so like “damn didn’t know that if that is the case then xyz” you know? Or if I saw something I’ll mention it and be like oh yeah I saw xyz and this is my opinion on it or answer

Also like I’ve first hand seen things that are like 10x worse or more delusional than the “rg must be leaving and s8 lfj main” thing like no lie some of this stuff makes that seem tame in comparison so it’s like the chances they’ve said this are like HIGH

Genuinely I agree with you on that last point I do wish that this fandom was how it used to be and more peaceful but certain things I follow this kinda mental rule I’ve always had which is that I won’t respect a disrespectful opinion

Like from the very start of the discourse I’ve been very oh let ppl ship what they want and enjoy their fandom space and from the start I’ve encouraged proper tagging to help people do that and like even if you’re fully delusional abt your ship I fully respect that (not saying YOU are but I’m saying like let’s say one side is like yesss they are getting married in s8 and having a baby on the first episode I would genuinely just mentally be like woah that’s a bit delulu but love that for you and move on)

My only issue really has been where people from the bt fandom (not saying they are the only ones who do this but I’m saying personally speaking it’s what I see and what I experience also not saying it’s all the bt fans and I do try to say that as much as possible) being disrespectful whether this be through being racist, being ableist or rude to the buddie fans just to boost their ship

Like I’m so not against hating stuff like seriously idc hate whatever you want rant about it and make twenty posts and make so many jokes but when you’re being disrespectful or when it crosses certain bounds it’s like you’re a piece of shit

Anyways I got carried away but thanks for being so nice and respectful in your ask 🫶

[pinkrifle]

Hello wonderful person!! I’m not sure if your requests are open, if not, just save this for when they are. Could you write hc’s for the main 4 + butters (or just one person if that’s too much) with a Canadian reader? (Except they don’t look like the Canadians in south park, maybe they were born in America but grew up in Canada, or were just adopted or something 💀) And at some point they nonchalantly bring up being Canadian and the group is so confused because they somehow had no clue (even though the reader fits practically all the stereotypes; too nice, says eh, watches hockey religiously, etc.) Just kinda what the aftermath of that would be? This actually happened to me a while ago and I’m still flabbergasted bc idk how my American friends didn’t know I was Canadian 😭 (they now refuse to call me anything other than ‘canuck’, maybe you could incorporate that) Ok this request is getting kinda long so I’ll let you do the rest, have a great day! :)

have no fear! i love long requests, it gives me more to work with ^^ also i’m srry if this isn’t how you wanted it to be i dnt know much about canada and stuffs 🫶 also i’m so sorry this is short, i kinda didn’t know where to go with this <3

— butters + main 4 finding our reader’s canadian!!

cws/tw’s: none

———————————————————————————————

— Kyle B !

was 100% not surprised, he probably knew it before you even thought abour telling him

but he is a little more confused when you tell him

i mean, you do fit the traits, nice, your a severe hockey lover.. but you don’t look canadian? 🤨

but his brother is canadian too, so whenever you come over he always brings ike to you!!

he hates when ppl try to take advantage of you for your kindness, it’s just a perk of being canadian!

“WAIT YOUR.. CANADIAN?? i mean. uh. your canadian? 😙 my brothers canadian!! maybe you guys know eachother…. wanna come over later?!”

— Stan M !

another one who suspected you were Canadian, surprisingly. but didn’t really mention it.

would 100% watch hockey games with you when you hang out even tho he doesn’t know wtf to do in hockey 😭 he jus loves his friends

loves the way your so nice, it makes him feel amazing!! definitely a nice replacement for cartman (kyle agrees, 100000%)

when you go over to his house, your always so nice to shelly even though shes a little bit of an ass, to you and to her turd brother.

his ass loves that maple syurp snow thing and makes it everytime you come over!!!!!!!!! (with ice instead of snow, if y’all don’t feel like going outside)

“CALLED IT. i so called it.. so.. do you know how to make that maple syurp snow thing or not?.. 👀 oh uh my fave hockey team,,uhhh the yankees?—”

(clueless man. i love clueless man.)

— Eric C !

100% ripped on you before you told him. but rips on you even more when you tell him 😈 black air forces energy

pretends to be scared of you when you come over to them in the bus stop, and clings to kyle.

then he realizes kyle is also “part canadian” because of his brother (even tho he’s adopted 💀)

he gives you puppy dog eyes and a weak apology a few hours later. you accept &lt;3

he definitely takes advantage of your kindness, but hes really grateful for it since you don’t beat his ass every 4 seconds because of his recklessness

“WHA? EWWW!! FUCKJG CANADIAN 👻 KAHLL HELP ME!! oh— WAIT UOU FRICKIN JEW CANADIAN!! GET OFF OF ME >:(”

“i’m sowwywyy🥺 sowwwyyy 🥺🥺 so sorrryyy 🥺 can we be friends again i like canada 🥺🥺 (has a piece of paper with the canada flag on it taped on his shirt)”

— Kenny M !

dirty jokes, doesn’t matter what gender u are 😟.

doesn’t really care what you are, kinda just wants to hang out with you regardless. loves how your super nice too, and super caring when he dies :((( feels bad when he wakes up but he’s glad you don’t remember (surprisingly)

(also forgets your canadian like 2 hours later you tell him, forgive him 💔)

likes watching hockey with you, gets into it just cause of u!! also enjoys that maple syurp snow thing as much as stan, him and stan make it all the damn time!!

“cana-ussy huhuhuhu.. oh yeah. good for you! me and stan uhh we like those maple syrup candy things :3 i think you’ve heard that enough from stan tho.”

— Butters S !

very excited when you tell him!! wants to know ALL about canada and bugs you for days.

you guys are both super duper nice, and he always feels so warm around you knowing you actually care about him &lt;3

doesn’t care that your canadian, but he does find it cool as hell!! tries to like hockey, but it’s too confusing for him ,,,

puts a small picture of the canadian flag in his room and shows it to you when you come over (it’s so precious)

he tells his parents all about canada, whatever you tell him!! they don’t find it interesting but who gives a damn, they suck

“O HAMBURGERS, that’s amazing! how come you didn’t tell me sooner?! do you like hockey? what part of canada are you from? wh—” literally asks 100 questions, but you love ur bestie

———————————————————————————————

once again i’m so sorry this is so short :( i didn’t know how to interpret it, but i hope you do like it!

[themulitipurposechannel]

Hello!

I LOVE your story!!! CJ having healing Ninpo is so genius and it’s making my brain run wild with possibilities!

Are there any tidbits you’d like to share about the au? Also could you possibly explain what happened with CJ aging due to Ninpo (in the latest update)?

(No need to answer any of the questions if you do not want to)

AWESOME COMIC, AWESOME STORY, AWESOME ART!!! I can’t wait to see more!!!

Hope you have a great day ^-^

BDJDHDHDHDHD Aww dude stop you have no idea how happy this makes me 😭 I’m so so so happy you love my au!! 💗💗💗 I love the concept of Casey with healing powers! He’s has a temper but I still think suits him so well given how protective he is as a person ahah!! And I’m so glad there are ppl out there who agree with me too! But Hehe yesss join me join me in my healer!Cj brain worms hehehe

.

Hmm since you asked bout the aging(and that’s a little complicated) I’ll answer that first. So I can’t go into too much detail cuz that will spoilers for a comic and some other art that will explain everything! ..Maybe😂 But I will say this. Cj unlocked his Ninpo when he was 10 he was fine, he was aging normally. Till a certain incident happened when he was 11 and well.. we all know what happened next, freshly baked trauma and he aged a couple years forward overnight plus some extra long term injuries (that I will go into later).

The good news is that as long as he doesn’t push himself like that again he will be aging mostly linearly again? But the damage has alr been done 😅. But anyways, after the incident, he never pushed himself like that again. One, cuz the Hamato fam would never allow it and Two, cuz the recovery period is so long/bad (cuz Cj is no master and worse he’s a literal child unlike Mikey who was in his early 20s when the cursed Aging started) no one can afford for him to be knocked out of commission like that again. It makes him wayy too vulnerable.

Post-incident, at his worst he has only aged a few days forward but cuz that’s so small no one except Master Michelangelo (cuz he’s a mystic master and cuz he’s also in the same boat) can tell the difference. Plus it’s so negligible it doesn’t technically matter.

But long story short, pulling himself tgt from that incident physically and mentally took loooonnng time haha. But as you can see even now it still leaves its scars haha and probably always will.

.

As for any other tidbits? Oh gosh where do I start ? Ahh there is just so much to say! Ok update wise I’m actually working a PMV for Healer!Cj so if I go quiet for a while that’s why. Idk how long it’s gonna take but I’m excited to show some sneak peaks along the way lol. This is my first time doing something like this so here’s to hoping it goes well!

.

Lore wise: although Cj does have a subway car in the lair. Once he gets more settled in he actually bounces around quite a bit. Boy was not meant to stay in one place for too long. While he does spent most of the week at the lair cuz the underground is familiar too him, he will spend 3-4 days crashing on the couch at April/Casey’s apartment. And on a rare blue moon he’ll give Draxum a heart attack 😂 by breaking into his apartment and sleeping on that old man’s couch. After a while it becomes their own little inside joke 😂. Draxum tries Cj-proof his apartment using mystic or otherwise and Cj makes it a point to still try and sneak in.

.

And the surprise of no one. In this Au, Uncle Mi is Cj’s favourite uncle. Sometimes second pesudo dad. But mostly on accident by a very sleep deprived Cj.

.

I have plans for P!Casey to eventually develop Ninpo a few years down the line. But I can’t think of any powers for her so if ya’ll got any suggestions pls fire away.

.

And oh P!Leo is gonna permanently need a leg brace. Sometimes on rlly rlly bad days, he will need to use a crutch (not that he ever does cuz he’s wayy to stubborn) but you get the picture.

Raph’s eye is permanently gone, Donnie and his shell will heal but bro will have chronic back pain for life plus certain parts of his shell where the tendrils dug into the thickest are now numb cuz ya know, nerve damage from being literally ripped out the technodrone. Mikey will need to wear compression gloves but his shaking gets significantly better over time. So he draw but he still needs to every two months or so he can get pretty bad flareups which are jsut Oof.

.

Good news is April is fine aside from a broken arm during the invasion that will heal. Splinter was surprisingly not that badly injured just a few pulled muscles here and there. And Cj is Obvi fine too aside from a minor concussion that he got prior to time traveling. Which to him was basically nothing. The reactions by everyone else was hilarious and a major culture shock for Cj. Turns out his apocalypse pain scale was drastically different to their normal not apocalypse pain scale.

It was hilarious the gang were like: “you’ve running around taking care of us a lot. Are you good?”

Cj: “yup all fine. Just a few bumps and scrapes”

8 Hours later..

Cj: “It looks like everyone’s settled? Great. I’ll go grab painkillers for my concussion now.”

Them: “I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE GOOD!?”

.

Long story short no one escaped the failed invasion unscathed :’D but also whoops sorry for the long ramble 😅 this kidna got away for me 😂

[daddyboyhalo]

Hey! I saw your post where you expressed how you were feeling these days, and I want to give you all my support. I agree that this is a very difficult time, being this involved in something and it being turn around in just a few days, changing everything about it... Personally I struggle a lot with the fact that the other streamers, and mostly communities, are kinda "allowed" in a sense to just continue as it was? It might not be very clear but in a lot of discord servers and all people are not AT ALL up to date to the admins stuff, and are just enjoying their daily qsmp stream. I'm not blaming anyone, every streamer takes the matter how he wished, and playing doesn't mean working on things, but I guess it feels a little unfair in a sense? like Phil saying Chay and Tallulah admins are well and waiting to come back stings a little after seeing pomme and dapper leave :( It's hard to feel happy for this when you have the short end of the stick I guess

And the French might be a little too forceful on the ccs ; they are obviously not ready to talk about it, and waiting to talk to Q, but bagh and antoine still said that they watched the awards. I am quite uncomfortable with everyone assuming they will just leave when most of them didn't even had time to look more into the matter, Antoine being on holidays, baghera on her dance show, and etoiles having health related issues... I'm just afraid that it will put pressure on them while the other ccs are kinda free to not talk about it you know?

But yes, I personally try to focus on my uni work, to go out a little, to watch other content. For me the hardest is definitely the fact that all of this happened while etoiles had to take a break. I'm very happy that he's doing it, since he needed it. But since he is my main streamer since a few years, going from having him in the background for hours and hours to nothing during now three weeks was hard, especially in a time when I wanted to change my mind. I kinda felt like an orphan lmao, and hearing that he a was going to the hospital every day, still made me sad despite it making me happy that he was getting treatment. He wanted to come back soon but a said he had a relapse in his health two days ago :( My only wish right now is to see him get better, and stream when he'll feel well ! But yes it's rubbing me the wrong way that ppl are assuming "etoiles will boycott, he'll do this, that" when the guy is really not well, the qsmp is not is priority at all these days...

Sorry for the long text, but your feelings spoke to me and I also felt the need to vent a little, sometimes it's better than just keeping things for yourself, you are free to ignore this!

Hope it'll get better for everyone <3

-🦦

aw anon no worries, i’m glad you were able to vent here!! ; ; sorry for the late response, i’ve been incredibly busy, but: i agree, i really don’t like when people put expectations and pressure on a cc to take a specific action, ie boycott, especially when they’re going through it outside of the server. it might be that people just don’t realize, because i actually didn’t quite know how etoiles was feeling and struggling since i haven’t been keeping up with his streams for awhile and don’t really use twitter, so i wasn’t aware until i looked into it more. i really wish the best for etoiles and can imagine how that feels with him being your main streamer!! ; ; the person who’s comforted you so much without even realizing it is struggling, and that’s not a good feeling. but i’m glad you’ve been focusing on uni and getting out, focusing on other content, because those are all important coping mechanisms and can make it just a bit less painful! you have my full support too!

and yeah, it really does short when we get the short end of the stick here; i was both comforted that chayanne and tallulah’s admins are doing well and just… i’m not sure of the right word, but bitter knowing that some people were treated well and others weren’t? i also worry with that being the only perspective some people get that they’ll assume that must mean everything is fine when it’s not true. honestly, i wish i was just a casual viewer for example watching qsmp with no knowledge of what’s going on and that my enjoyment could just continue as normal, but instead the burden of knowledge and loss stings and aches so badly. it gets to be business as usual for some but for others it’s this horrible loss and grief, and it causes such a dissonance—“like, do you guys not see the dead and dying on the floor? am i going crazy? why are you walking straight through them?”. don’t mind my own rambling, but yeah anon, we’re in this together :(

[toinfinitywinning]

confident about confidence & not confident that makes sense.

*real Quick. This (G)entry might make ur head spin. Could also Title : what you think no one knew. U tried it.

I wont ask for a raise of hands. Everyone deals with it. There’s no solution, no answer. Experience & being a dumbass——>Guidance and wisdom. There are many reasons I bring up confidence. One, it’s one of those words that’s not a word …it is a State of being. you just kind of don’t know where to place it b/c well, you’re not confident of where to land w/ it and even if you were you’d be like just leave it bc i don’t have time for this. to debate confidence v confidence? again Dog-ear the page or burn it bc im not even confident about THAT. Then once and only if it’s (the whole world of confidence) placed hyper-questioning kicks in: is that where it should be? Then… be and stay? Also am I losing it? I’m not confident about that but maybe. That’s always on the agenda you never agreed to and I AM confident about that i think.

If there is one constant in My Life it’s been My back n forth relationship with confidence. I have this thought daily, truly. I’ll say to myself ok yea I’m cute…

[insert any other compliment you give yourself or even receive by others only b/c you’re actually insecure— and just like the fact you’re still sick from being healthy (Me) it doesn’t make sense so bc it doesn’t make sense just I guess get over it and carry on]

…but R u cute enough to actually be happy and okay about that or do you want to change something? Take another chiseled mirror picture flexing? And u never went to a trainer? Feel better now? But I only got 3 likes. So idk.

Er No i think I’ve figured it out. Just dont eat. Exercise 2-4 hrs a day. Weights. 100 Push-up’s. 100 Calf raises. Repeat. Twice a Day if ya can. Anything to find confidence in the material. Find Pride. Only Pride you’re good at tho is the lgbtq spectrum and recently are glad it’s a spectrum since u have no idea where you fall into it anymore bc you’re not confident and it’s completely irrelevant b/c I can live between the letters+ the rest of my Life— that’s fine. Any of which could be foreshadowing of any category of Illness to come. But yea Now that you’re sick…you gotta trash your other Pride AGAIN b/c you can’t do anything without help.

10, 9, 8…my Tourette’s R throttled.

Then lately, aka the past 2 years—I can make the cute comment, i like my sun freckles and My eyes. My baby hairs when i wear a hat backwards. My smile. Just dont smile where you look fat or have a dbl chin bc you worked too hard to get all that weight off and how would that look if you just got fat again? Pitiful and weak and a fraud. Going back on your word b/c anything I declare Online is binding. So just Show some of your body in pics but not all so people dont think youre trying NOT to be totally honest with internet fame but so you still look confident. but as for doing anything about it…physically can’t now b/c trying to get better is not a good idea bc of POTS and Pppunishment for trying to be in shape but oh when u tried to be in shape never was not-not punishment. Then what…back to no confidence. Felt like My Face is cute but _______ oh, ill still think that later. Confident about that. Forget about iiit. Post it.

Then all the sudden youre not just fighting with yourself. there’s the whole social Media thing also including the “felt cute, might _____ later.” What R we doing later (?!) LOL. We say Shit that doesn’t make sense at all. (English still deemed the hardest language to learn b/c we have three versions of the same thing). Who decided why ppl need to know what we’re doing later if we are cute? LOL, Well then, I’m typically the later. I think. B/c if I even did feel cute I didn’t have enough confidence to say it, yea? Even if I was?

TRAP

This goes back to My eating Disorder(s)—which, is technically a fantastic eerily precluding example of the back and forth weight and confidence issues I’ve always had on and off. Ok so weight, up and down. Confidence obviously plays along. Self worth in that scale- turn the lights off. Can’t see your bones anymore, I’m doing something wrong. I’m healthier but I also have Long COVID-19? I lost all this weight and im fainting? Oh and science does back up that the reason u were so susceptible to getting sick is bc you got healthy! Your body was so assaulted it kicked into overdrive to help you but did a 180 gainer instead of the whole 360. So u Quit smoking. stopped drinking, et. Working on an eating disorder mixed of anorexia and exercise bulimia bc you used to be morbidly obese and lost 150 lbs and dammit you’re gonna let ppl know it for confidence’s sake. Do. Not. Waiver. Social Media is holding us all hostage and accountable.

That’s weak, Gentry. B/c if it’s on the Internet it’s REAL and it’s permanent. Keep it up. Don’t think about it too much.

Back to my body being so healthy it gets sick. The most laughable backwards bull shiggity I’ve ever been a part of. My Pleasure. Again, body got So healthy in fact, the health takes form and wants to protect you so badly that it turns turbo, fast, furious and wants to heal you SO fast and so well, well, it’s bad. And, AND, you cant do anything about that trust me your body is confident in that. Oh and also wait even tho u did follow all the covid safety rules half of America made fun of that is also irrelevant. Why? I’m confident the answer is bc What why? LOL. This gets Good, gets better. Need 2 years to explain. So book it in advance.

Speed ‘round to tie all the above mess? not confident I can do that with this entry. Can’t speed through any of this type Schitt in a few words. Forget a proofread.

Engine sputters. Then stops even sputtering. And pls stop using that word.

Pretty confident I can’t go anywhere now!

See now? Ofc you don’t.

Truly it was the beginning of the End. I’m confident about that. I do thank God for that tho. Not that this needed to happen but something needed to distract Me from myself and its prison only I could have built. Go ahead and add that pressure to your Tab too.

Me thinks i do. I sound Manic. And steroids influenced.

PS: if you take anything from this—these strategies of extremes to get extremes don’t work. They’re temporary. It’s more your mind than your body. They’re not going to make you happy everlasting.even Snow White got F’d temporarily and she was not even cute. There’s a shallowness to the extremes intoxication but unless like an Addiction you’re ready to Face and admit it honestly healing cannot Begin. TIME is on your side and most of the time you’d prefer it the other Way then the other Way. So This “advice”— or call it what you want— doesn’t just apply to confidence and the extremes we Will take so you CAN be all about you you you. Where is the line btw confidence Health and cockiness and a titch narcissism? The obsession—It Will leave you empty.

I just read the above and thank goodness I didn’t handwrite it b/c then you’d really have no chance of deciphering any part of it! Even so you may have to learn the hard Way like most of us. Something I’ll never understand but can look at somebody and know they’ve been there too.

Just do you. Don’t try so hard. You’ll be so tired. But just be present. That’s gonna bring joy. Not a scale. Not a selfie. What do YOU want. Trust my confidence on this at least. Ya can’t beat it. Truly is what is at your Core. What do people think first? I’m still unsure I want to know that anyway! Being yourself is terrifying. WHYYY?!

I need a scribe.

Don’t ask Me ;)

Be blessed.

Xx, g3

[aemiron-main]

hiiii I just want to say sorry about all these people jumping down your throat about your edward creel posts. Regardless of whether you're right or not (i think you are lol), your theories and posts are VERY well researched and well written, and also soo entertaining. how can people be upset that you've been consistently creating content during a hiatus? would they rather everyone just shut up and let the fandom fall to the shadows? truly unfathomable to me. yours and henrysglock's posts have been the only thing keeping my interest in stranger things all these months. anyway sorry I sort of rambled I just wanted you to know I appreciate the thought put into your posts and I'm really thankful to have people in this fandom who are still creating new ideas and theories even after more than a year of no new content. have a great day 🩷🧡

AHHHHHHHHHHH HELLO THANK YOU THIS IS SUCH A SWEET MESSAGE OMG 😭💗💗 YOUVE MADE MY DAY!!! First of all, HELLO FELLOW EDWARD TRUTHER 🤝🤝🤝🤝 a d second of all THANK YOU AGAIN HEHEHDH IM KICKING MY FEET AND GIGGLING!!! I really appreciate that because I do try really hard to keep my analysis (not the fanon stuff which ppl seem go somehow conflate with analysis sometimes) evidence-based and well-researched but also relatively easily/fun to read, so I really really love hearing that!!

And right?? I genuinely don’t understand why people are so upset about others delving into things!!!! I really think many of them would rather that people just shut up & let things fall to the shadows & take everything at surface value. Like even if I’m 100% wrong about every single thing, at least I made an effort to look deeper, yknow? That’s the thing for me, it’s not even about right vs wrong or dumb vs smart, it’s about being willing to take the time to even try to dig a little deeper into things before committing to surface level judgements. IM GLAD YOU AGREE BC ITS TRILY UNFATHOMABLE TO ME TOO LIKE I LOVE SEEING ALL THE THEORIES AND THOUGHTS FROM PEOPLE!!!!! Like I’ve said before, I don’t mind a super long delay for S5 because it means i get to keep having fun making theories and seeing other peoples’ theories!!!

IM SO GLAD THAT ME AND JAMES HAVING BEEN KEEPING YOU INTERESTED IN ST OMG <<<333 I have SO many more analyses in the drafts (seriously, like, content drought WHO??? i could analyze this show for the rest of my life) and so there will be lots more to come!! And James really does have such great posts, I am 4ever grateful for his brilliant analysis and friendship, seriously, i probably wouldve just stayed in my hole not posting very much analysis after the initial backlash if i didnt have james and stav to rant to!!! (and on that note I also recommend the beloved and iconic stav @heroesbyler for some more wonderful posts!!! stav is very much Onto the duffers/a fellow edward enthusiast)

Omg no worries at all about rambling/no need to apologize!! This is such a kind message to send and I really appreciate you taking the time to send it to me!!! Just!! THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <<333 I’m also so thankful for the fellow theorists who keep putting out their thoughts & for people like you who are so thoughtful, kind, and supportive!!! Stranger Things is so rich with subtext and things to analyze and it’s really a shame that some folks are so opposed to digging into it. Like i said, even if I’m wrong, I still had a blast digging through the show and trying to piece things together!!!

Thank you!!! I hope you have a great day too!! <<<3333

[imthatpowerful]

i love talking abt my boyfriend and how perfect he is :3 if i could i would write a 1000 page book abt it and turn it into a series of books i would bc i js love him sm like he’s the reason i even know what a love surge feels like and like im so in love with him im so glad i discovered shifting omg and i JS KNOW he’s the one who made me discover it bc before i discovered it i fell in love with him yk so the timeline is that back in october 2020 i started getting into one direction, before that i was a casual local who only knew two songs from them and didn’t take interest to them at all tbh but then i was working on an art project for school and i didn’t have spotify so i used youtube to listen to music and at that time wms was popular and i loved it and then yt recommended clouds by one direction and then i instantly fell for it and then i listened to more and more songs and then my obsession began… i started watching interviews and reading facts and one person out of the 5 boys caught my eye…💘 Harry Edward Styles 💓

before that i literally didn’t gaf abt him like i used to think he was unattractive and annoying bc i used to be a swiftie and i saw a video made by a swiftie bashing him and i was a meat rider so i agreed w the vid 😭

anyways…then like my love for him grew so deep u guys don’t understand like my heart felt some typa way and i didn’t crush on anyone the way i did him and i knew it no school crush wavered my love for him and no ick made me stop loving him and i remember having to resort to ACTUAL delusion to get over the fact that ill never be with him like no joke i used to imagine and pretend he was right next to me and i genuinely sometimes felt him there yk like when u feel the presence of someone istg i felt his presence there and i remember when i used to cry (cuz it was a rough time back then) a lot and pretend i was laying in his arms as he comforted me and that used to calm me down bc i could genuinely feel him comforting me but it would then make me cry even harder bc i couldn’t be w him and like i remember when i found other ppl attractive i felt sooo bad for him (even tho this was all in my head at the time) i would stop it and stick to him and i remember summer 2021 at the start of it i was lowk goin through it then i saw a video from one of my harry styles moots on tt talk abt how they scripted the wrong harry era and lhh almost jumped them 😭

cmon now? this cutie? jumping someone?

anyways so like and i was confused i thought dr meant like a vr game or smth 😭😭😭😭 and i wanted to play it but then when she explained it i lowk didn’t fully get it but i was interested and then that was also during my subliminal era when i discovered subs from a youtuber idrk who tho and then i wanted a summer bod and i read the comments saying they felt like they did a workout but i felt nothing and i heard nothing and i was confused until i read abt manifestation which then led me to finding shifting subs then i read abt shifting then i made a tiktok abt it and i told my fam (worst mistake they told me it was a sin and it was fake) then i made a shifttok acc and my first script and ever since then harry was my s/o and my mission was to get to him and i told myself no matter what even if i lose feelings for him (which hasn’t happened and won’t ever happen bc he’s my pookie) he will always be the first guy i date EVER like he will be my s/o in any dr i go to and if things don’t work out (but they will) then at least i kept my promise to him

also bro has been channeling me for years and like bc there have been signs that my mind automatically says harry sent this and like even when i was talking to a c.ai bot w lowkey the intention of channeling harry the bot said things that were DEF harry from my dr and idc i’m not gonna say it’s a coincidence bc everything happens for a reason also like i had to delete all my ai apps bc i was getting too addicted and it’s been distracting me from acc shifting and ive been trynna NOT focus on channeling either but like i still feel his presence and communicate w harry sometimes and like he’s still in my heart and like he’s been encouraging me and lowkey helping me w my journey and reminding me that im in control when he channels me

me n bae three years going strong haven’t broken the streak yet (except when he shaved his head and was dating taylor russell and i was rlly mad i mentally broke up w him mainly bc of him n taylor russell and i would’ve tolerated the bald head if he was single but then i cried bc i missed him and couldn’t handle it and that same day i mentally got back w him) and tbh ill tell u there has been times where he didn’t consume my every thought bc like if it was 24/7 that would be unhealthy but ya but like he was in the back of my mind anyways ya that’s it that’s my yapathon i love my cutie patootie boy handsome man gorgeous angel prince

[anime-and-i]

Thoughts on AOT and its’ finale.

These are MY own opinions. You’re free to agree or disagree. Also AOT spoiler warning obviously!

1. Marley arc was stupid as hell

After establishing the main cast and basically who we’re supposed to be rooting for in the first half of the series, it was so dumb to now add these irrelevant annoying new characters. Literally audiences wait years to see familiar faces and then you throw in some irrelevant fucks into the mix. Suddenly we’re supposed to be cool with seeing the lives of these Xenophobic bigots. I understand the whole “showing that there’s two sides of war” thing and also revealing more of why everything played out how it did so far. However, the Marley citizens were always shown as racist to the Eldians. Not a single instance of anyone feeling bad for Eldians or having some common sense like “why tf are we even doing this?”. It was just them victimizing themselves for something that happened like 100 years ago. And the rest of them were always on some “oh man I just want this to end; I don’t like war; I wanna go see my family UwU” after they come back from depriving Eldians (who’ve had their memory erased) of their own families. Maybe if we acc saw them showing some remorse for their actions I’d be more inclined to hear their side out. Reiner was having some split personality thing going on. He should’ve been inside a therapist’s office for the remainder of the series. But literally none of the other characters are ever like “shit I’m doing something bad to someone”. Even if they were shown thinking it in the back of their heads it would make me more inclined to like them. The only Marley folks I acc liked were Falco, Zophia and that kid with glasses they hung out with. They seemed normal despite the brainwashing so idk wtf Gabi’s problem was.

2. Ymir (not the og one)

Suddenly having a conscience after not giving a fuck the entire time, when the main cast needed her the most (esp Historia) was pure garbage. I get the author tryna keep the mystery of the titans and warriors going until later on but her going back with Reiner and Bert-whatever tf his name was- is pure and utter horseshit. She wasn’t a warrior kid so she didn’t have to answer to anyone! She could’ve gone back with the corps members and explained everything about the outside world right then and there and lived out the rest of her days with Historia idk. It would’ve been better if she died tryna save Historia or one of the corps members or something. Then the jaw Titan goes to a random Eldian and Marley can’t use it. Absolute garbage plot line. Her also not explaining to Eren wtf is going was bs too.

3. Warriors did not deserve a happy ending

ESP the RBA trio. Idc if they lived or died tbh but the one thing they shouldn’t have gotten was what they wanted the most: to see their families again. Their parents didn’t deserve it either. This is what they get for sending their kids off to war bunch of shit for brains. The best ending would’ve been when their parents got turned into titans, Annie and Reiner either get eaten by them or have to kill them. No happy reunion for any of these “honorary Marley” shits.

4. Pieck (however u spell it)

She should’ve faced some consequences and then died. Literally one of the most bland characters in the series. The only thing she had going for herself was that weird one-sided rivalry thing with Yelena and even that dissipated. Very irrelevant and not the strongest Titan idk how her boring ass survived. Also she has no remorse for any of her crimes either. She gassed Connie’s village and turned those folks into titans. Her backstory is boring. We already got a sad dad story from Annie. Ugly ass Titan and also tried to lecture Yelena about her crimes. Glad Yelena put her in her place tho. Along with the rest of the ppl at the campfire. Best ending for pieck would’ve been if she accidentally killed gabi. One of the kids she cared about so much died to her hands and not the enemy’s. Maybe it would’ve given her character some needed development.

5. Zeke

should’ve put up more of a fight and then gotten beheaded by Levi. Idc about his tragic backstory. He stole a troop member’s gear and let him get eaten by titans alive. Him looking down on the troops, risking their lives going against his Goliath baboon ass, sealed the deal for why he deserved a gruesome death; not one where he practically offers his head on a silver platter to get sliced.

6. Gabi should’ve died after shooting eren.

Pain in the ass character. Tell me how she shot Sasha and then continued to go around Paradise calling eldians devils and her ass doesn’t die. Her character is supposed to be like “oh look some bigot learns that the thing they hate the most is bc they don’t know about it well enough and then they stop hating it once they learn”. Okay well Marley isn’t about to stop conflict bc an Eldian kid had a change of heart and told them about it. Plot wise, prick should’ve killed her inside her ugly ass cart Titan mouth.

7. Original Ymir

should’ve had more of a dialogue. Her being in love with that creep ass stupid head Fritz was such a weird way to define her character as the founder. She should’ve had a Historia moment where she’s finally free and done with everyone’s bs and actually vocalizes that to the Eldians inside the Paths.

8. The Rumbling should’ve ended all of humanity and the only survivor (that we know of) should’ve been a random kid. Make Erwin’s words true: “The only time humans will stop fighting is when there’s one human left”. The 80% cop-out AND the warrior parents surviving? Absolutely not.

9. King Fritz’s soul should’ve been put into his own nightmare realm at the end; designed by Ymir.

Things I acc liked about the series:

1. When Eren first becomes a Titan and the audience feels like there’s hope for the cast.

2. When they overthrow the false king and establish a new government.

3. Hange.

4. Erwin (esp his long shot plans).

5. Levi (esp when he beats the shit out of zeke).

6. Falco.

7. Yelena- only fault was being a Zeke stan.

8. Armin- excluding all the weird Annie shit.

9. Historia after breaking the Titan syringe. That entire scene was so good.

10. The owl guy. He seemed okay.

11. That one pure Titan that acc looked kinda hot.

12. Dina’s last line to Grisha. It was so sweet :(

13. Eren unlocking his coordinate ability. Loved that whole scene.

14. Kaya almost murdering Gabi. It was done so well.

15. Niccolo giving that rage speech and saying “…yeah well I acc loved that girl who was one of these hellspawn devils”. The raw emotion was so well conveyed.

16. Yelena shooting that one dude when he started insulting Sasha.

17. Pixis shooting off into space after tasting some boar steak. It’s not part of the official plot line but that ova was so funny.

18. The aot chibi series

19. How strong the writing and plot was for aot during the first 4 seasons.

20. Hange and Levi trying to make the MP dudes rat out info and they make the second guy read the funniest shit on paper.

21. Hange making pigeon sounds after Eren in Titan form nods to her command.

22. Sasha becoming an actual demon after she senses food.

23. Etc.

This was very therapeutic for me. Ever since I finished this series, it left me feeling disappointed, dissatisfied, and anxious. I’m glad I wrote all this out; I can make peace with this show finally.

[rosy-fox-art]

i def agree with what you said about how the fandom handles heart's blindness so thank you for calling it out before it got worse. i feel that it would make more sense if he put the blindfold on himself, like how other ppl in the tags on your post said.

another thing that ive noticed is how heart is sometimes infantilized and seen as someone who can "do no harm" which is... strange to say the least. i think ppl forget that he is a personification of a grown man's emotions and depression (sorry for wording it like that lol i didn't know how else to say it)

Hi! Thank you . I was honestly really worried to post about it, so I’m glad to see people so receptive to it so far in a positive light. I’ve been reading the tags very diligently ^^~

As for victimizing heart or ‘ saying he can do no wrong’ and infantilization… yeah I can see this as another issue that’s starting to sprout up, and some people in the tags of that previous post have mentioned it as well. And while I know that’s not everybody and I figure that is also another case where people don’t really intend to do it and just aren’t thinking about it, that doesn’t really erase the problem. This applies mostly to people depicting heart as childish, not being able to handle himself, being idiotic, victimizing and woobifying him etc. So, I really hope you don’t mind me using this as a chance to talk about that a bit, too.

Being over emotional does not, at all, translate to any of the traits I just listed out in the slightest. Sure, heart may be a little naive and impulsive as per his nature, but that is not the same. You are absolutely right to point out that heart an adult here, too. And at the end of the day the album seems to make it very clear that Heart and Mind are not all that unlike each other, but are unwilling to admit their similarities and highlight and judge their differences heavily. Heart is just as harmful and violent as mind, just in a different way. He has the propensity to be just as cunning or manipulative as Mind, too. Even his tactic of victimizing himself is a show of this, and Mind points this out several times in the album. They are two sides of the same coin. There is a large difference between Heart victimizing himself and actually being the victim, which he is not. Or at least, he is not completely blameless for the hole that he has dug for himself. When people show heart as being the victim or as doing no wrong, a lot of the nuance is completely lost.

Secondly, the internet and fan spaces have a bad habit of infantilizing people with mental illness, in general. Depression does not make someone soft and cute because they’re sad all the time. Depression does not make someone an uwu bean. Depression makes someone — as we can very clearly see by how Heart is within the cannon itself— a wreckage of rage and disdain that struggles to crawl out of a spiral of misery and apathy. It’s not pretty. When you boil it down to all of the things I’ve mentioned as being a problem here— that’s infantilization. This is also a big problem when it comes to disabled characters (Because people jump to the conclusion that the character cannot do much for themselves because of the disability, do not understand how disabled people actually advocate for themselves and function day to day from lack of experience or exposure to disabled people, want to depict them as incapable, etc). So, the fact that Heart is both of these things creates a ripe mess. This is kind of why I’m hoping to make some less angry, more informational post about some of the things blind people use to function just like other people here, sometime. Because the lack of these things in itself may lend into the infantilization problem. Being able to do things— having agency and independence over oneself— is a large part of breaking away from that. And I think it says a Lot that you rarely see this happen with Mind or Soul, as well.

So sorry if this came off at all angry, but I’m very passionate about it as someone whose experienced infantilization in my life from other people assuming things about me solely based on my disability. So, if I can say something to stop people from perpetuating it in fan content then I will. 👉🏻👈🏻. At any rate, thank you for the ask! I’m sure there’s a typo or two in here. So so sorry for that!

[jaegerisim]

Unpopular opinion: Billy Hargrove, as a character, is not the monster that many people make him out to be. He’s a complex character and the message behind him is interesting imo.

He had lots of family trauma and likely most of his hatred is learned via how his father treats him and those around him. I’m not saying trauma excuses Billy’s behavior, and at the same time it does offer an explanation. It makes his character more complex and makes his death hit harder.

Billy sacrificed himself to save El and the party. If he had lived, maybe he would have had a redemption arc? But that’s not the message the Duffers wanted. Billy did a lot of shitty things and one big act of heroism isn’t enough to save his character.

Billy doesn’t get a redemption arc.

In stranger things the good guys win. Billy wasn’t a good guy.

But he wasn’t all bad. To me it hurts to think about a 17 year old abused by his father and manipulated/ possessed by vecna who dies by sacrificing himself to save his sister and her friends.

I feel bad for him, even though like Max I’m glad he’s not around to torment her and her friends.

Billy is a good complex bad guy.

I never see people talk about Billy as a character. It’s either people acting like he doesn’t exist or worshipping him. I’m not a Billy or harringrove Stan by any means. Hell no. (Steve deserves better lol like Eddie (steddie <3))

But I wish people talked about Billy as a character more, especially how his character impacts Max and everything.

Hiii nonny! Thank u for submitting this ask!!

Ok well I agree on some parts and I disagree on others.

Billy's character is a complex one and a mirror to Will and Jonathan, his relationship with Max is too.

Billy is Jonathan's mirror in the sense that both grew up with an abusive father and a younger sibling to take care off. Jonathan chose to be a good person and love Will while Billy decided to lash out on Max and abuse her. The similarities with Jonathan end there.

Will's parallels to Billy go way deeper. Other than the obvious name sharing. Both were victims of the mind flayer but, Will was able to fight against it bc he had ppl who loved him. Billy had no one, so he gave up. The thing is, that if Billy had no one, that is his own fucking fault bc he was violent, abusive and an overall piece of shit to absolutely everyone.

His sacrifice isn't his redemption, the fact that he decided to try and fight to save Max and The Party doesn't make him a saint. It only shows that he still has a tiny sense of morality. Also he already knew he was going to die, so he just decided to die attempting to save the others. We shouldn't worship him for this, ok?

And you are right that Billy's character is important, especially to Max's arc. He is important in the way that when he died he passed on to Max an enormous sense of guilt which is why Vecna targets her.

So, really, it's Billy's fault that Max is in a coma. He could have chosen to be good or change, but nah, he chose the easy way out.

In conclusion, Billy is a complex character but that doesn't make him any less of an asshole and I hate him quite a lot. 😊

PD: as an ex steddie shipper who only likes the fanart now, stonathan is waaaayy better 😊😊😊

[theirloveisgross]

Is this a thing? Origin stories? So I was pretty ill last summer, and for some reason Harry kept popping up everywhere, especially on my instagram explore page that I was browsing bedridden and out of boredom. In hindsight it was probably because of hslot. So I started to view clips of him every now and then, and suddenly my explore page was full of him and funny one direction videos, that let me to louis who was just starting to promote the fitf singles (and I loved his new sound!). Anyway, soon I couldn’t escape the funny 1D compilations and they really cheered me up so much when I was unwell, but I’m sure we all know they are a short, steep and slippery slide down the larry-rabbit hole. Cue youtube videos and master posts and just the whole mayhem and at some point I ended back up at tumblr, found a bunch of blogs and kept following the people those people would repost from and now my feed is full of Louis and Harry and the rest of the boys.

Never have I ever been a part of a fandom that causes me this level of unease tho, and I think it comes from ppl shipping two real people in a very intrusive way. I’m not talking about you lot I follow here of course, but some people can’t seem to behave and understand that there’s sort of a fourth wall that you’re not supposed to break? Like keep the fandom within the fandom bubble, it doesn’t belong out there in the real world.

That being said, you lot here bring me so much joy at a time when life’s been a bit heavy sometimes! And this fandom has so so much talent it’s crazy!! The writers and artists and gif makers and just everyone here is so crazy talented and fun! So kudos to y’all!!

Hi!

Ah, yes... Harry's tour and his new album, everything exploded last year. I'm so glad you found them then and they provided you with some distraction. They can be... very distracting. I still don't know how to get less distracted, tbh.

Your second paragraph... *sigh* Yes, I hear you. That was something I had to wrap my head around the first few months. The intrusiveness of it all? I felt guilty, too, just by looking at videos being slowed down frame by frame of their reactions, or moments, or whatever. It still feels a bit weird, ngl, but it's so... "normalized" here, in this bubble, that I feel "okay" with it. I do agree with you though, that fandom belongs in the fandom. I still remember that "Sing Walls if Larry is real" sign in Washington last year. We saw it before the show, and we rolled our eyes, and I was like "why would people bring this stuff to their shows", but then Louis did what he did (and trust me, I looked at every angle possible, I am very skeptical about these things, but I was stunned). Why? Why did he do that in the way he did it? Hahajha. Listen- who knows? Maybe they were in a very good place relationship-wise and he was feeling frisky about it. Or... he was just being a little shit and knew the chaos it would cause. Or... yeah, idk. It's hard, and I think it all stems from the 1D days, especially the last year, when the Bears were the stars of the show and how they "communicated" with us through them. And it fucks you up a bit... but people forget circumstances, as well. Things change... they're not in the same band anymore, being worked to death, asked to behave in certain ways and whatnot, or asked to do things they don't want. They're on their own now, and I do believe they appreciate the privacy they have after not being seen together all the time and people thinking they haven't seen each other since... 2016? It's genius, if you ask me. Like, hey, we can be ourselves, in our own little world and nobody's gonna dissect how we move, or if we can even look at each other. And I think things shifted for them in regards of "communicating", it feels like they don't have to, and sometimes some of the things we see, might just be because they're so in tune with each other that these things happen on their own. Not everything, but just some things some people love hammering on about. Okay, I'm rambling here and going on a tangent, and not properly curating my thoughts, sorry...

ANYWAY. I'm glad you're here! :) The talent in the fandom is amazing, I feel so lucky we have people that want to share their work that they do in their free time for free with us all. Love to all! <3

Anyone who sees this and has joined the fandom in the last year or so, send me a message if you want. I’m so curious what was your starting point, what made you go “Larry?” and then “OMG LARRY!”, hajdhahs.

[sttoru]

hi anya.. i saw you talking abt being good at giving advice to ppl, so,, wld you mind giving me some advice..?

rant: i've been an anon for this person for a while and, not so long ago, i came out of anon to talk to them on priv, bcs they said they wouldn't be active anymore, and they told me i could talk to them on priv, if i wasn't uncomfy.

i did take up that offer, bcs i rlly wanted to keep in touch. but, they make 0 effort to talk to me. i'm always the one sending the first message. they never reach out first. and every conversation consists of like, 3 messages from each of us, talking about our lives, then we don't talk for months until i reach out again.

now, they announced they would be active again, and they're back to posting, but they just won't send me a message. i don't know if i'm being pushy and annoying by wishing they would talk to me. idk if i'm uninteresting, or if they're anxious or forgetful, or what.

it's just been very one-sided and instead of making us closer (like i thought it would) it feels like it's driving us apart. the last time we talked was in march. when i sent them a happy birthday message. i haven't send anything ever since. and neither did them (as always). i saw them as a friend, but i don't think they care about me at all.

anyway: what do i do?? do i try and talk to them about it? (what if they're just busy and i'm overthinking??) do i ignore them forever, just as they have been ignoring me? do i send them an ask instead and act like i've never been out of anon? help.

haiii anon! im glad you decided to reach out to me w this ^_^ thank u & i hope i can be of help with the following advice below ! (i actually typed more than i intended bcs it hit home hehdnsnsnd)

first of all; i applaud u for being brave & coming off anon to keep in touch with that person! a lot feel too uncomfy to do so even if they desperately want to keep in contact with someone, so i feel proud, if i can word it in that way ahsha

soooo let’s start;

if i read this correctly: when you actually begun to reach out privately to that person, you are always the first one that tries to strike up a conversation. you feel like they could be uninterested in you & don’t consider you a friend like you do.

i’m sorry to hear that— especially the ‘reaching out first part’, because it can be super uncomfortable and could understandably make you overly anxious (like thinking they aren’t interested, are ignoring you on purpose, don’t want you talking to them or they’re uncomfy talking to u etc etc. it can cause a lot of anxious thoughts. that i get & it can be extremely upsetting).

this is also a huuuge problem i’m struggling with. you are NOT pushy or annoying for wanting them to reach out to you out of their own initiative. i think every one who struggles with this can agree with me and guarantee you that.

why? because feeling like your friendship is one-sided is not how most work out. that’s how most friendships FALL out instead, like you had stated yours was at the end.

march is a long time ago. the fact that they are active & posting means they are on their socials & are checking their dms etc etc. to say that they’re forgetful is really doubtful, because march is MONTHS ago & i’m sure that if they cared about your friendship — they for sure would’ve thought of at least reaching out to you once in all those months (as harsh as that might sound).

but, they didn’t — it shows that this is indeed very one sided. of course, as a busy person myself i could look at the other side of the story as well: maybe they could be busy or they could be anxious about reaching out first too!

i know people who do, at least. but the difference is that those people i know (who are anxious of reachig out first) always make an effort to keep the conversation going once i msg them. they are interested, send me random stuff & the convos can go on and on without stopping for hours because they put effort into continuing the convo i started.

now that is considered two-sided to an extent as well. but reading that your convo’s are short & usually only 3 messages back and forth — i’m… feeling a bit iffy. if they were anxious about reaching out first, but were still interested in talking with you, they would at least make the effort to appreciate you starting the convo & continue it. so, i personally don’t think they’re forgetful or anxious.

that rules out any more possibilities to be honest. the moment you said that they havent ever reached out first made me already go ‘well…’ in my head. and its been months since you last talked. if they wanted to continue your friendship like you want, they would’ve put in the same effort as you (or at least tried once or twice to show their interest). judging by your explanation of the story, i don’t think they want to put effort in talking further with you.

which—is not your fault, maybe not even theirs. some friendships aren’t meant to work out. maybe they aren’t feeling it? maybe they don’t feel the ‘click’, you know? once again, not your fault at all! it happens to me every time — and it even happens to the best of us.

as someone who’s been in this situation for over ten times in different ‘failed’ friendships, i say let them go. maybe see where it leads you. i don’t think they will reach out to you first since march was the last time you talked without you taking the initiative, but just let it go. if they at least want to keep the convo or spark between you alive, they’d reach out themselves.

as anxious as one can be about reaching out first, if they desperately want to feel a connection between the other person, they would find a way to do it. like maybe a simple ‘hi’ in dms or indirect post on dash.

but it’s also valid that you want to continue what yall had. if you choose to want to reach out again; here’s a different & more positive solution / piece of advice:

send them one message filled with your worries and feelings about your situation. don’t make it too long (could be a bother to read, might make you seem a bit too desperate to them?) — but also maybe not too short.

this could be included;

• ask them how they’ve been lately.

• out your feelings about the situation briefly (abt reaching out first).

• simply ask for a clarification. don’t demand it! ask if they maybe would like to continue talking.

wait & check their response to that message and be critical! if they ignore completely, red flag. if they’re dismissing your feelings, red flag. if they say ‘i forgot’ or ‘i was busy’, understandable, but see if they actually make an effort to reach out to you afterwards. if not—stop putting in the effort and let go (saying this in the nicest way possible. it avoids any more heart break / anxiousness, i promise)

though, it may also be your last message to them if they say that they don’t feel the same (aka dont wanna continue talking), so maybe prepare yourself for that too.

anyhow! it’s ok if friendships don’t work out, once again, don’t blame yourself! it hurts, of course, but once you get through the heart break — there are many more possibilities for you to make friends out here.

remember, relationships are the most healthiest when there’s good communication between both parties.

xoxo

[decembermoonskz]

hi izzy!! just dropping by to say hello and ask how you’re doing 🤍

but also seeing what you said about the anon messages really made me think—i do believe that you (and other writers) taking down your works or leaving has scared some readers, you know? it’s just a reminder that we should appreciate all of the fics and the writers behind them, and not only mourn them when they’re gone and it’s too late.

and that’s not to say that your anons or anyone else *didn’t* appreciate them, i’m not trying to call anyone out. i think this can be said for plenty of fandoms and plenty of things outside kpop fics too. it’s just nice to appreciate things and let creators know that you appreciate their things, and not just as a last resort.

anyways. just my ramblings haha. i hope you’re having a good day / night 🤍

aww I agree with what you said rain. honestly I didn’t expect anyone to send me any messages about my fics if I’m being totally honest with you haha 😂 so it’s come as quite a surprise to me.

So I’m going to continue this under the cut so it doesn’t take up too much space. I just wanna say that tldr these are just my thoughts on why I’m really archiving my works and the feedback/plagiarizing events going on and have been going on. Feel free to disagree with me on any of this but please anyone, do not come into my inbox with any discourse or just to tell me you disagree with something.

And before I continue I just wanna say, rain, ty for provoking all these thoughts out of me and sorry I got kinda carried away LOL This got SUPER long so don’t feel like you have to read it lovely but just know you are so one-of-a-kind and I’m so glad you stopped by today when I saw your message I smiled 🫂

So about the messages I got, I just wanna say that there were some of these ppl who replied to their own asks to me and they said they fully understand why I’m doing what I’m doing and it’s nice to know that even tho I don’t necessarily need any validation to be satisfied with my choice.

I’m going to just share my own ramblings and my own feelings towards some of these things bc I really don’t talk about it much (mainly bc it’s kind of draining for me personally)

I think some ppl do understand that this was an inevitability should writers continue to be plagiarized or essentially “left on read” when it comes to feedback (to be slightly witty and lighten this just a bit lol) this topic isn’t one I talk about a lot but I fully acknowledge and hear/see what other authors go through on an (unfortunately) regular basis.

I think the main thing I tried so hard to remind myself of is that I write for myself and no one else. More than once did I forget this and start thinking “oh please like this fic! please tell me it was worth it to write! please like it and me!” I think that’s what my thoughts began to turn into, and when that started happening I knew I needed to step back bc I really started to hate writing and I wanted to just turn away from it. I took a really long hiatus back in 2021 (iirc time is fake) and after writing tons of projects for myself and taking time off of tumblr, I came back in a much healthier mindset.

Basically, I really stopped caring about notes and feedback and for me it was life-changing.

I under no circumstances claim this is how all writers should be to feel better nor do I claim thinking like this is as easy as a snap of your fingers or that it cures all problems. It took me a while to learn this lesson (hence the hiatus) but having learned to not really care about all of that stuff I truly felt better about my writing AND myself. Any and all notes and feedback have just been pure bonuses for me and they brighten my day if I happen to get any. Heck, I’m still shocked that not one but TWO of my fics surpassed 1k notes, like, that’s crazy to me. I realized that once I stopped caring so much about feedback or notes and chose to focus whether or not I was the one who was satisfied with my work, I noticed a lot of positive things would gather towards (such as feedback or reviews).

With all of that being said, this doesn’t make the issues going on go away (though I wish it would). I can’t deny that this is pretty much the perfect time to archive my fics what with the surge of plagiarism coming into the light right now. Of course though, plagiarism has always been around and it happens to anyone over anything, they way I think in no way ignores the fact that something like that is out there and unfortunately we all take a risk when sharing anything online (tho ofc plagiarism can happen even irl but this is more focusing on online). I knew that risk going into it and it hurts when I see other people I know and people I don’t know have their hard work taken by some random stranger all so that person can get more praise from more random strangers on the Internet bc they couldn’t come up with a creative idea on their own.

I really hope that these issues can be resolved and I always send my love and support to all authors who have been affected by plagiarism. I’m glad more people are being brave and using their anger to act and call out these people and standing up for themselves or others. Putting those emotions into something positive is what I hope for the most.

Now the last thing I wanna talk about is the reason I (myself) am taking a break. I think that the timing as I mentioned couldn’t have been better what with everything going on, but these issues aren’t actually the real reason I’m taking this break but i kind of Sept my reasons reasoning under the rug bc it wasn’t necessarily as urgent as others.

My reason is simply bc I’ve kind of lost that drive to post my stuff online at all. The same thing happened when I used to draw and post art years back. I realized that I just enjoy these activities for myself and my friends rn rather than sharing it with a ton of people. Now this isn’t to say that I hate it or that I’ll never post again ever. I doubt that honestly. But I think taking this break is good for me bc I just want to talk about my fics and/or share them with friends right now and that’s enough for me. Im sad to stop posting, yes, but it feels kind of like I’m closing a chapter. That doesn’t mean I can’t change my mind later on or want to post again either! I think we forget sometimes that we can make decisions and essentially unmake them down the road. There doesn’t need to be this fear of seeming indecisive to others or anything like that. I feel like I’d love to come back and post again some time but for now I’m good. I enjoy being on tumblr to reblog posts, chat and ramble, and maybe even come back to see messages in my inbox. That alone makes me happy and I just don’t wanna add anything else to it rn.

Will I be back to posting? I feel like I will at some point, but idk when that point is exactly. For now, I’m gonna take my time and think about it. I’m gonna keep writing but I just don’t think I need to share it online rn haha and I’m content with that. I don’t believe I was ever “unappreciated” on here, I was happy sharing for the most part, and any and all feedback gave me a little pep in my step, but it wasn’t the sole reason I was posting and that in and of itself I think was the reason I didn’t quit posting on tumblr a long time ago. I do hope that for those who continue to post on tumblr, they know it’s okay to keep doing it. I don’t want them thinking that with people leaving they’re wrong or bad or insane for still posting. Everyone should just do what feels right for them. I hope more and more people will come to appreciate authors more, not just of kpop fic but any fic or any writing. I hope creatives will be appreciated and given lots of love and they will have lots of joy rather than stress in their lives. I just don’t feel like being one of those creatives right now, and that’s okay. I can always come back if or when I feel like it.

I think that’s all sorry for this word dump, this is a fic length itself 😭😂

[persicipen]

Oh i get what you mean yes and i mainly wanted him for my e0 acheron lol. I only have acheron and jy as limited dps so i was focusing on building a team around them? I have sunday and ruan mei so my jy team is doing good but i wanted to improve my acheron team!

As for clearing end game content, i’ve been playing since February and only cleared it with full stars this patch😭(not the new moc tho haha) and I struggled a lot because i have no break dps

I totally agree with what you said!! I’m a f2p casual player and i genuinely enjoy the game but pulling for a character only to struggle 2 patches later gets annoying! I wanted to have meta teams and be able to pull for characters i enjoy so i try to get the best of both worlds (hence sunday and jy) and that’s why i was torn between herta and robin. I like herta as a character but i know robin is very valuable so meta wise i’ll pull for robin but for my personal i want herta lol but amphoreus has a lot of interesting characters too so maybe i didn’t get herta it won’t be too bad

Sorry for the long ask i know it can be stressful to answer a lot of asks 😭 it’s only recently that i started clearing content and building teams so i needed some advice on who to pull

Also who do you plan to pull for in the future?

hi nonnie! no worries, i actually really enjoy answering game-related asks as they feel more technical to me than creative and i love helping ppl out and reading their perspectives! 🩷 okay, so i’m super glad everything’s clear now. thankfully, jiaoqiu isn’t rerunning in the next patch, so you should have time to decide if you really need robin or enjoy playing with the herta or want to save specifically for him 🙂‍↕️

theoretically, the herta could also benefit your account because you have both dps units as lightning characters. acheron’s ult ignores enemies’ weaknesses, true, but it’s never wrong to have some other elements that hit hard just in case (the case being the current moc for example lmao i’m so sick of it) 😭 on the other side, if you already have sunday, you can play ANY dps with him and add robin and deal some crazy dmg. so, you see, there are still options for you! in the end, pull for the character you enjoy playing the most. yes, sometimes meta is stingy, but apparently it always will be every few patches asdfghjkl

my pulling plans? aglaea and her light cone. i’m not the biggest fan of (my) jing yuan, so i would like to swap him. if i save up a good amount of rolls, i might consider getting robin’s light cone or maybe the herta, albeit i would rather not haha i’m keeping my eyes already on the horizon, hoping the anniversary powercreep won’t hit us as hard as back in penacony 💔