#I’m feeling better and I’m not stressed about it any more bc I trust him

[theloveinc]

Idk that he should be yellin tho 🥺

It was so WEIRD he literally yelled!!!!!!! And I’ve never experienced that from a therapist before.

I’m just hoping that moving forward he has a better idea of what to do to help me (and I’m able to open my mind to more positive thinking so that it doesn’t happen again lmfao). I kinda assumed that talking about my fears of punishment would stop him from … being harsh, but I guess maybe I need that too.

[fatespalm]

solemn vow to never be complacent or meek around things i feel strongly about again — to at least start the conversation even if i don’t have the words to talk back exactly to a poisonous idea — in kind, to pick up the thread if someone else does the same — tired of letting evil shit unfold —

[moonstruckme]

Hi gorgeous! I love ur writing!! Here's a lil blurb request for either Sirius or Remus! It's not smut but more like the lead up/conversation beforehand. Like May be a super inexperienced reader and she's nervous af bc she knows he has way more experience than her and she's worried about being good enough for him or worried about disappointing him and he's just so sweet and reassuring and is just happy she trusts him

Thank you for requesting my love!

cw: mature themes (and immature jokes), no smut

Sirius Black x fem!reader ♡ 667 words

“You’re not gonna suck, baby.” Sirius is laughing at you, which isn’t really the response you were hoping for. You’re so embarrassed it’s making your palms sweat. 

“Or,” he reconsiders, “you could, of course, but there’s no pressure to.” 

You blow out a frustrated breath. “Can you please just take me…” you trail off, realizing you’re about to hand your boyfriend another joke. By the gleam in Sirius’ eyes, he realizes it too. “Can we please not joke around for a minute?” 

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry.” He smooths his face into something approaching sobriety. “We can.” 

You’re not sure how he can be so much more comfortable than you right now. Sirius is sitting across from you on the bed, criss-cross applesauce in only his boxers. You at least have on pajamas, and yet this conversation is making you feel more naked than he is. 

He asks in a gentler tone, “What is it that you’re worried about, sweetheart? We don’t have to do anything before you’re ready.” 

“It’s not that I don’t feel ready,” you sigh. “I want to, I just…I want you to like it.” 

Sirius barks out a laugh. “Well, I don’t think we’re in any danger there.” 

“You know what I mean.” You shrink away from him a bit, drawing into yourself. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t want it to be disappointing.” 

“Baby. Hey.” Sirius scoots closer to you. He ducks his head, catching your gaze and holding on tight. “It doesn’t matter how much experience you have. It could never be disappointing.” 

“How do you know?” 

“Because it’s you,” he says, emphatic, like it’s obvious. “I always love being with you, it doesn’t matter what we’re doing. And I know sex is going to be the same.” He leans in close like he’s going to tell you a secret. “Sweetheart, you could slap my ass and spit on me and I’d just be thrilled you were there.” 

You fight to keep a straight face, furrowing your brows. “So…I shouldn’t do those things?” 

“I’m actually not sure.” Sirius sits up, shrugging. “I could be into it, I’ve never tried. Point is, you can do whatever you want.” 

“I don’t know what I want,” you tell him, though you are, admittedly, a bit less worried now. “I don’t want to just lie there, I don’t think, but I don’t know what else I’m supposed to do.” 

“There’s nothing you’re supposed to do, babydoll.” He gives you a little smile and reaches for your hand. When you give it to him, he holds it in his lap, thumbs tracing the lines of your palm soothingly. “It’s okay not to have a plan going into things. That’s how it usually happens, no matter how many times you’ve done it. You just feel it out and go with the flow.” 

You chew your lip. Sirius is looking at you so kindly, his expression warm and open and his touch caring as he starts to draw a slow path up the inside of your wrist. You don’t want to keep arguing with him. Maybe that’s why your voice comes out so small. 

“But what if I can’t?” 

“You can.” There’s no hesitation in Sirius, no uncertainty. “You really don’t need to worry about it. Your body will react if you let it, and whatever happens, I’ll be there to talk you through it, yeah?” 

You exhale. “That actually makes me feel a lot better,” you admit. 

Sirius smiles. “I’m glad,” he says, lifting your hand to give your finger a teasing nibble. “Hey, we’re not doing this until you decide you feel like it, so don’t stress, okay? I’ll make sure you have a good time when we do.” 

Blood rushes to your cheeks. “How’re you gonna do that?” 

Your boyfriend’s eyes gleam. “You wanna find out? I can give you a preview, if you like.” 

You don’t have to answer before he’s crawling up on top of you, your giggles lost into his mouth.

[pupyr0arz]

May we have a crumb of kidnapper!Gaz cuddling with his beloved? After bringing them nice gifts just bc so ofc theyd let him love on them bc he treats them like a deity?

Ask and ye shall receive 🫡 it gets there eventually. I might write more straight fluff after this.

He watches as you flip through the glossy catalogue. He gives you new ones every other day, it feels, leaflets and cutouts and magazines. Women’s clothing, men’s clothing, food, perfume, watches for you to show any interest in any of the pictures. He still doesn’t trust you with anything electronic, even with him in the room, and gave you a tight smile when you asked. You ignore the guilt you feel for bothering him about his rules, the welling shame that he’s stressed over you when you refuse to eat. Leftover, misplaced reactions. You haven’t seen another  in months, it feels, he’s taken up the spots of your friends and family when you got particularly depressed, and you’re stupid brain is transferring that onto him.

You snap out the scented cardpaper that came with the magazine, activating it with a rub of your fingernail. It smells like flowers more than it does chemicals, hearty and thick. He doesn’t seem to have much of a budget, like some kind of cartoonish villain that spawned from somewhere. Some lonely rich man refusing to fed his dog anything but imported caviar. 

“Do you like it?” He interjects, leaning forwards with his hands on his thighs. They twitch, and you know he wants to grab you, but he doesn’t touch you. He never does. What kind of man kidnaps someone, and then respects their boundaries afterwards? “It’s a nice brand.” He encourages, like he’s asking a toddler to eat their vegetables, like when he’s bothering you about your health. “I’ve found myself a fan.”

You already know he wears perfume. You set the card down before you crush it, not wanting to dwell on that memory with him in the room. “I think it’s fine.” You say roughly, and you know you’ll wake up with it on your nightstand like everything you show the tiniest smidge of approval for. The angry tone of your train of thought sputters and stops as a smile breaks out over his face, eyes softening. 

“Thank you,” he says like you’ve just jumped into traffic to save his dog’s life, and you have to cling on to the head of resentment that he’s doing this to fuck with you. It’s the only thing in this goddamn room you can hold on to, your fingers will slip on silk sheets and his stupid outfits and nice words.

“When do I get out of the dungen?” You prod, and a flash of annoyance crosses his face. He hates what you call ‘your room’, carefully insists upon it being your home now, like some kind of refuge. You aren’t of the opinion that anything involving chloroform counts. 

“Sweetness,I want you to get settled in first, you know that.” He chides softly. He doesn’t yell, doesn’t hit you, doesn’t do a goddamn thing but treat you like some fucked up stray he picked up off the street. Your eyes dart to his hand. He doesn’t have a bandage there anymore, and you resist the impulse to reach out, open the floodgates and feel for any remaining damage. “You don’t need to be more stressed than you already are. I promise, when you’re feeling up to it I’ll take you out. Wherever you want.”

“My house?” You jab and he leans back, gives you a conflicted look like he cares and you cut him off. “What if I never get better?”

His brow furrows. “You’re improving.” He says, but you have him on the back foot now.

“It’s been months, hasn’t it? I’m still not ‘adjusted’.” The magazine crumples in your fist. “What if I don’t break like you want me to? If you can’t fuckng Stockholm syndrome me into your pet?”

Kyle doesn’t look scared, or even upset. His face had smoothed out sometime during your rant into warm, affectionate amusement. “Darling,” he says, tone indulgent, “My career gives me some insight here. We might be taking it slow, but you’ve made so much progress. We’ve made so much progress.” He gets off of the bed, raising a hand to cut off your attempt at retort. His anxiety is replaced with his calm, confident conviction. 

“I promise, everything is going to work out like I told you.” He pauses, and adds in a more condescending voice, “do you think I  don’t know what I’m doing?”

You drop the baller up magazine on the ground, bile welling up in your throat, and flop onto your bed. You bury your face into your soft pillows like some kind of stupid teenager, fear and helplessness making you clench your fists because he believes it, he absolutely believes it'll work, that he can wear you down, and he’s not going to let you go. 

He picks up the magazine before he leaves. He’ll be back in what you’ve taken to calling half an hour, give or take, ready to start prying at you again. It’s still at least eight more days of this before you have the chance for a short break, if he vanishes off to work where he studies psychological torture and kills people with the million guns in his car.

You can’t help but believe it too.

—

You wake up feeling uniquely reckless. You’re alone right now, which is probably better because if he was here you might lung at him, if just to soothe the unplaceable itch underneath your skin. You can’t help but think of it as a game some days, some fucked up chess where you gain some by lashing out but lose more because of the way he smiles at you while he holds an ice pack to your jaw, apologizes for holding you down while you scream and thrash at him.

You want to tear up your sheets, but you can’t muster up the energy when he’ll have them replaced without a second glance. It feels like you can’t make mistakes here, like he doesn’t want a single thing from you.

You know what he wants.

You roll out of bed, flipping off the security camera in the teddy bear on your nightstand. He coats everything he does in pastels 

and soft words and sweet things and it’s like punching a goddamn pillow. Not a speck of resistance, not a sign you’re making progress convincing him you’re a bad captive to have. 

You take a sandwich and a carton of milk out of your mini-fridge, wanting to get it out of the way before he decided to come down and needle you to stick to your meal plan. You sit down at your little dolls-table, on your little dolls-chair with your plastic utensils. Maybe if you’re lucky he’ll go out today, leave you in the quiet for a few days. Long enough to remind yourself that glass breaks and you can bleed without him there to wipe everything spotless. Short enough that you don’t start rotting inside. It’s never that lucky, you’re always left trying to keep from watching the door, pretending you don’t hope that it’s his smiling face ready to carve away your memories of times without him.

You don’t know how many more points of failure you have left in you before you have to give up the ghost. You unclench your jaw, sticking your tongue beneath your teeth so you don’t grind your teeth together. You’re developing too many stress habits. He doesn’t tell you you’re being hysterical, but as you sit on a cushioned seat in a room full of all your favorite things, while eating your favorite foods, you’re starting to forget the taste of chloroform.

—

You wake to the side of your bed dipping under Kyle’s weight. He smells like gunpowder and wet leather, unfamiliar and harsh in the enclosed vivarium that’s become your home. Kyle’s wearing his outside clothes, usually so careful to keep the glossy barrier separating you from his work intact. You stare into the dark, not turning over as your limbs lock. Old, bad habits. He knows you’re awake.

“Sweetness,” he mutters in the dark, “can I touch?” He doesn’t say please, but you can imagine the word hanging heavy behind his lips, his pleading eyes locked on you.

“Yeah,” you mutter back, rolling onto your back. His hands come up immediately, shoving under your shirt and you yelp at the touch of his icy fingertips. Kyle tuts, pressing his head into your cheek, shushing you like some hysterical mutt. He’s glued to you in what must be seconds, determined to tangle your limbs together like every time he touches you it’s the last. 

It doesn’t burn, but it melts something in you, angry scattered half thoughts of pushing Kyle away or denying him crumbling into inconceivable dust when he presses a sweet kiss to your cheek. Tentatively, you twine your fingers with him and his breath hitches, and then he sighs, ecstasy incarnate, relaxing on you with his full weight.

“I love you,” Kyle tells you like it’s a secret every time, like the words are something he’s stolen and fought and killed for. He has, and he’s come to present them to you like the jewels and the books and the presents. “I love you with my whole heart, every inch.”

You swallow, tucking Kyle’s head under your chin, feeling the warmth of his breath on your neck. “Okay,” you say, your voice very small and not quite there, but Kyle’s hand squeezes painfully tight for just a second. It’s the first time you’ve said a single word when he tells you, and you know it’s as good as at this point.

“So much,” Kyle says, voice wrecked like you’ve done something to him, tugging him undone with just your voice.

“Yeah.”

[ladybracknellssherry]

Okay so I got a clip w audio of the final 15 Az eyebrow thing I was talking about. The quality is worse than garbage and idk someone is going to have to explain to me how to actually get clips of things bc I’m useless and prime locks out screen recording. If someone can get a better quality and share it’d make me so happy.

I put it under the cut because it's about 2 seconds and watching that flash on a loop against your will is nightmarish.

For the sake of the "somehow Az and Crowley were communicating subversively to each other / Az was trying to communicate something to Crowley" theory...

This definitely gives "Az is trying to eyebrow talk to Crowley." If you want to believe that. Looking out the window from where he's standing in the direction of where Crowley would be / is when he's fashion statue-ing on the Bentley at the end. What's Az trying to eyebrow talk about? Any number of mysterious things. Otherwise he’s just simply making sad eyebrows. Az is obviously stressing and sad and such. But I’m hooked on this right now and me being me am probably looking way too deep.

I never thought anything of it until I realized the soundtrack makes a point of it. "Hey check out these eyebrows - we're going to give a piano trill to emphasize it." Why? Mood? Probably. It just feels ... odd.

Say all you want about how GO would avoid doing something that can give Clues or hints to interpret the massive mysterious cliffhanger of S2E6 ... But they gave a mountain of clues to the body/appearance swap in S1E6 ... All of the time fuckery in S2 and chiastic structure and foreshadowing and parallels etc etc all give Clue. And of course there's the hidden easter eggish fact that Nightingale played in its entirety matches up perfectly with the brief snippet in the Bentley to the final shot in the credits. The final piano trill and that last smile in the elevator that looks a touch unhinged unless you have Nightingale playing. These two bits are the most simultaneously subtle/surreptitious/inscrutable yet very clearly emphasized expressions incorporated into the soundtrack that I've noticed in all of S2. There are other matches. But those are readily legible compared to these.

So, yeah. The eyebrow flex + piano pointing it out/emphasizing it is all more than a bit weird to me. It looks like it could very likely be communicatory. As if asking/saying "all good? all clear?" "all good here. all clear here." "you do the thing?" "now's a good time to do the thing" "understood" etc etc. Reminiscent enough of "Trust me" which was nearly invisible.

Other people have pointed out - what if he's not just looking out the window in those last few glances because he's looking at Crowley trying to make up his mind? What if he's stalling and making sure Crowley is there and giving him a signal? Would might to tie into the time-stop theory which would help to explain that FCKNGK CLOCK. That clock that keeps me up at night.

Why? I don't know why. Does it make much sense? I don't really think so. It could just be a brief sad eyebrow furrow. I'll survive if that's the case. I just can't get my brain to stop thinking about it. It feels so weird to me.

[myymi]

Hi!!

I don't know if this has been asked before but I couldn't find it on your blog, so here I go

(Also if it has been already asked or for any reason, feel free to not answer this, lol)

A few knuckles & tails hcs you'd like to share? Because I am reading your knuckles n tails fics and... Reading them is not enough I need these in my blood...

They're.... brothers... *crying* they are brothers your honor

Oh and, thank you so much for blessing us with your latest fic, I was screaming about protective knuckles!! (this is a compliment)

Anyway, as I said, feel free to ignore this, and I hope you have a great day!!

-💛

heyy!!

nope, no one’s asked for just knuckles&tails hcs, but i’m more than happy to share the ones i have!

they’re both really big history nerds, so they’ll tell each other different stuff they know. knuckles abt the ancient echidnas and tails about anything he can dig up

tails will come drop off books at least every other week for knuckles to read (sometimes they’ll read together, but usually that’s only if it’s a subject tails REALLY likes)

if it’s a cloudless night and they’re both free, tails will fly up to angel island so they can stargaze together :]

knuckles taught tails how to punch properly n other shit. while he doesn’t want tails to have to do that, he understands anything can happen and he wants his baby brother to be safe <3

they explore together !! they’re the perfect duo for it, they can reach any crevice they wish to (also helps tails practice with carrying knuckles around, he learns the best way to hold him and other smart stuff idk)

they both get SO stressed when they’re out with sonic bc his dumbass is convinced he can’t take fall damage (‘make sure to keep an eye on the idiot who can’t fly’ ‘can’t i just build him shoes to make him fly?’ ‘If he’ll take them, go for it’)

tails gave knuckles a ton of pointers on how to land better when having to drop from higher points to avoid causing too much pain

tails is one of the few people knuckles trusts to be alone with the master emerald

knuckles just.. picks tails up whenever he feels like it. no warnings either, he’s just snatched up fr

they both like napping in sunbeams :] there have been many instances where sonic’s found them snoozing next to the master emerald, tails curled up on knuckles’ chest and them both snoring away

knuckles usually just lives off of whatever fruit he picks, but he does make an effort to cook for tails when he visits <3

tails makes a lot of reinforced technology for knuckles so he doesn’t have to worry about accidentally breaking anything (he did once and he felt SO bad)

during infinite’s attack, before tails ran off, he went to knuckles for comfort <3 knuckles was also the main person who looked after/checked on him

knuckles actually adores tails, because he’s such a sweet kind, not to mention incredibly smart AND he’s strong enough to carry him and sonic like oanrowineg he’s so impressed with this kid and he makes sure tails understands that (which, bless his heart, he’s so confused as to why the guardian of the master emerald likes him so much)

whenever knuckles learned of tails’s past, he literally almost went to west side to beat up tails’s bullies because how DARE they put this child through all of that

when they were younger, and tails was still a little insecure abt his extra tail, knuckles would go out his way to make positive comments abt it oiebfowbe (‘that is a wonderful advantage you have. truly a gift’ ‘i would love to have an ability such as yours. you’re a blessing to this world’)

tails taught knuckles how to spindash

when tails got tired after aa long adventure, knuckles would carry him so he could sleep as they made their way back home

knuckles had tails tell him EVERYTHING about the fake chaos emerald he made because that’s so?? how did you manage that tiny child, tell me

they both have pretty severe abandonment issues :( but they help each other get through it <3

that’s all i have off the top of my head! but of course, you can always ask for more!! 💛✨🌼

[dotster001]

hii can i request a matchup for twst?? i’m an ace female, 5’0 with a skinny figure and mainly a light/dark academia aesthetic. i’m an INTJ 5w6, really introverted and 100% certain i suffer from at least five kinds of anxiety. i’m extremely closed-off but significantly more open online and to my close friends. i value my alone time very much and it pisses me off when ppl don’t respect my personal boundaries. i’m very cynical, sharp-tongued, and naturally stoic which causes a ton of misunderstandings. my humour is also really cursed. i’m self-deprecating, struggle to accept compliments, and have massive trust issues bcs of my past. i’m very ambitious and often neglect my basic needs when i’m too focused on smth. i also have headphones on like 24/7 (similar to haitham) which frustrates some ppl bcs they think i’m not listening to them. my love languages are defo acts of service and quality time

i’ve whaled so much on merch and gacha it’s embarassing. i take pride on my rhythm game skills and despite rarely getting angry there are certain games that bring out the absolute worst in me (ahem overwatch and league). i’ve been berated by my team so much now i’m numb to being insulted. drawing is my other main hobby (i have an art acc), along with reading and just learning in general. i’m a pre-med so i obv like science but i enjoy history, classic lit, and the arts too. travelling is another hobby but unfortunately i can’t do it as often now :(

just refer to me as 🍦 anon. congrats on 1.5k!

Event Closed

(hey 🍦 anon! Thanks for your patience! Just thought I'd share that I too am an Intj 5 w6 who likes to wear headphones. Solidarity! 😂)

I match you with Jade Leech.

It may sound a bit manipulative, but Jade slowly "molds you" into accepting his love and compliments. He's too smart to be stopped by trust issues. He respects your boundaries, he helps remind you to take care of yourself, and gives you hidden compliments until, one day, you love yourself, and him.

When he sees your stress level rising, he'll invite you on a hike to the mountains with him. Neither of you has to talk, you just spend time next to each other, away from a stressful environment. If you want to talk about your problems, though, he'll listen. He's a great listener, and an even better behind the scenes problem solver. Particularly if a person is your problem hee hee

He actually really likes the headphones idea. In fact, he might ask you to make him a playlist he can listen to on his hikes and when he gardens and works on his terrariums. I hc a lot of things about Jade, which I will not go into here, but should the loud noises of everyday life/his brother become too much, he'll quickly realize the headphones can make things less overwhelming. Maybe he'll even make you a playlist of mersongs that tell you how much he loves you.

He's in love with your combined drawing skill and love of science. Would you consider partnering up with him and making/illustrating any of his future books? Stole this idea from a fic but I think it works here

Will 100% fund your merch collection, as long as you let him buy you a shirt that says "Jade's favorite mushroom". Non Negotiable. You make him so happy, that sometimes he gets as excited about you as Floyd is about everything. He hopes you'll join him in experiencing the light hearted moments of life together.

You're gaming, while Jade is laying in your lap, and reading a book.

Suddenly, you get killed by someone on your own team, and you let out a string of curses. You see a flash of teal magic, and feel a tickling feeling under your chin, thoroughly distracting you from your rage.

You looked down to see Jade smirking, as he tickled under your chin with a feather. You scowled.

"Sometimes you take too much after your brother, you know that?"

"You mean with my dazzling good looks?" He said, his grin growing.

"Nah. With your ability to inspire rage."

He sat up, and slotted himself in your lap, a remarkable feat considering how much bigger he was than you. Then he gently strokes your cheek, and leaned in.

"At least I'm the only one of the two of us you love."

You would have given him a snarky response, if his lips didn't cover yours.

After a moment though, you felt the feather tickling the back of your neck.

You snatched it, and chucked it as Jade giggled.

[andvys]

andy i knew you’d linger is a chef’s kiss masterpiece the way the angst hits so good and leaves us thirsting for more i can’t wait to see what you’ve planned

i’ve seen a lot of turmoil whether reader should be w steve or eddie bc of reasons a, b, c but i wanna know who you think reader should end up w like in your heart if you were in reader’s shoes who would you choose bc honestly as much as i love steve and love to see him grovel working his way back i’d go for eddie bc reader feels so at home w him like they can be their complete self no stress and have been the happiest they’ve been in a long time

but i’m also a sucker for a good comeback story and if i saw steve realizing what he lost and really making changes to be better for reader and himself it’d be so hard not to fall back into things

either way i love what you’re doing keep up the good work you gorgeous person you 🫶🏻

oh my god you are so sweet! i appreciate your kind words and i’m so happy you like this story and my writing so much! 🥹🫶🏻

to answer your question (and this is not because I’m and Eddie girl, I would’ve answered it this way as well, if it was about other characters) I’d rather have her end up with Eddie (fun fact, he was never supposed to be in this story, it was a spontaneous decision) (and again, i’m not saying this because I’m an Eddie girl). It’s just that, he gives her the things that she wanted from Steve, all these years. And, he asks for nothing in return, he just does them for her because he wants to do them for her and he doesn’t expect her to do anything for him! He adores her, he protects her, he is there for her, he supports her and even shows up at games, just for her! He never wronged her in any way, he is just the sweetest guy ever and I love their chemistry (which happened naturally while I was writing it). Would I have labeled this as a love triangle from the start, then she would’ve ended up with Eddie.

As for Steve, he will do and be better, he will say goodbye to his King Steve antiques. He will grovel and he will try to make it up to her, he will learn and he will become the Steve that we know now, the one that we love. But it’s gonna be difficult for him to get her trust back after all the things he had done to her.

Realistically speaking, he fucked up too much. He abandoned her, knowing that her dad left her. He broke every promise he ever made. He told her that he wasn’t in love with her anymore and that their whole relationship was a lie, he cheated emotionally and got together with a different girl just two days after he had dumped her. That is bad enough but there is so much that happened during their relationship too.

He was only eighteen and he was a really insecure and weak guy and he won’t be the same later on but getting her trust back in the future, won’t be easy at all.

The ending is still very much open but I’m just going with the flow right now and trying to figure out how they should end up together

[lucysweatslove]

Almost done with my first week of med school proper. We haven’t gotten into much of the science but touched on a lot of more of the social factors. Obviously one week (albeit multiple hours a day) isn’t long enough to get all the way into social factors like medical racism and anti-racism, identity and intersectionality, social determinants of health, etc, it’s nice that my school opens up with it to really set the tone.

Last night I spent some time talking to a friend who is a peds resident who went through the program at my school (on a different campus) who used disability services. His advice was basically to fight for what you need at every step, because nobody else will advocate for your inclusion and DRS when he was going through clerkships had like no idea how to accommodate his physical disability. He has some good experiences and some shitty ones. Anyway, I felt better about applying after that. The worst they can do is say no, that accommodation is unreasonable, and then not have a suitable alternative. I’m fortunate enough that I don’t think my disabilities would keep me from filling technical standards, so I shouldn’t be kicked out, I would just have a harder time which is exactly where I’m at anyway.

The MS3 (third year student, started doing the clinical stuff recently-ish) that is doing a longitudinal clinic experience at my rural site was in town today and stopped by our lecture hall during my lunch break to say hi and chat. That was really nice. I told him a little about the experience I had with the Dean, and he was supportive of “whatever [I] want to do” (really stressed it’s a personal choice)- and when I said that I WANT to stay but feel pressured to quit, he was all “then FIGHT it, they’re looking for that.” He also said the docs have asked about how I was doing… idk. He is such a nice guy and easy to talk to and somebody I actually feel safe with (very rare I feel safe telling somebody IRL about any of my psych history). I just have such a hard time trusting that the docs there actually cared for me at all. Not that I expect them to actively hate me (hate takes energy; if you don’t care for somebody and are far too busy it makes most sense I think to just not give them any of your mind). But it’s easier for me to think that they’re asking how I’m doing/transitioning into med school proper out of like, a perceived duty due to their position. I have had some bad experiences of “forced kindness,” so while I don’t anticipate any hostile/negative intentions, I also have a hard time believing there are outwardly positive intentions towards me. Like “I’m asking because I genuinely care” seems less plausible than “I’m asking because it’s part of my job.”

Anyway, MS3 recommended I do NOT email but text the primary preceptor about finding a time to call, which has me anxious for other reasons (phone calls are the literal devil if I need to do anything as Me instead of as like, Customer Service Me, you know?). But I will also respect that- like after he said that it made more sense to me because she gave me her # and then also later said that emails get missed so easily because they get bombarded with emails. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I need to text her still, just got busy and need to get over my fear of bothering people.

Oh and I was busy because I actually applied for disability services and accommodations. Yay! I sent in my assessment documents and an application, and they said they will be reaching out to set up a meeting soon. Something I found interesting is that I’ve mentioned accommodations in passing to a few people - one in relation to neurodivergence and clerkships, they didn’t gaf which is totally fine, and the other was that MS3 (just asking if he every used it, he said no). I don’t know entirely what I picked up from them and don’t want to read TOO much into it bc neurodivergence. But I wonder how much of those answers is somehow related to stigma in med Ed. My opinion is very much “fight ableism” in the sense that like, a quarter of people have a disability of some sort and can use legal measures to protect against discrimination and get us a little closer to equity. And it’s not just for me either- I really really do want to fight the systemic BS. And that’s part of why I’m so curious about their motivations for NOT seeking services. If they really feel like there is nothing they need to accommodate and like they don’t have a disability, that is GREAT for them and I won’t tell them how to experience any diagnosis or difference from normative experiences. I’m just unsure if there’s some judgment on my end for seeking it, or maybe if there’s some internalized ableism, or if they were just heavily dissuaded BECAUSE of ableism, idk.

I do feel fortunate to have people around me that care and want to help, though.

[amysterywrappedinanenigma]

Mysterious Benedict Society season 2 episode 5 liveblog!

 I don’t usually liveblog but the energy needed to go somewhere. There were a couple scenes I completely forgot to write things down during, oops. This is vaguely separated by scene. Vaguely. Spoilers below the cut.

- Sticky :( :( :( don’t feel bad it could have happened to anyone :(

- See at least someone knows we don’t trust the cops.

- THE WAY I ABSOLUTELY SCREAMED OUT LOUD. MARTINAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

- I screamed when it went to the court and screamed LOUDER when it showed her.

- Ummm how dare you keep her on the bench, don’t you know who she is 😡

- Her little smile when she picks up the phone and hears Kate 🥺🥺🥺 She looks so hopeful and happy 🥺🥺 Also I love her new hair!!!

- THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT ONCE AGAIN. MY FAVORITE WOMAN IN STEM I LOVE HWR SO MUCH.

- The way seeing both Martina and Garrison for the first time this season knocked me out, it’s like I was hit by 2 trucks in less than 45 seconds of television but in a positive way.

- We paused at the 3:32 timestamp just to freak out about Dr Garrison and Martina. We’ve been paused talking about them for 20 minutes, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

- YEAH THERES MORE THAN ONE ARMCHAIR NEUROSCIENTIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Except this one actually has a degree ❤️❤️❤️

- Milligan recognizing the element!!! We love his chemist background being remembered!!

- “Split the party” awwww Milligan

- [affronted] “I did the research” I adore her she’s an icon she can do no wrong ❤️

- “Optimal size to stuff down your windpipe” Flashback to Constance’s “she will be weak from lack of sunlight, easy to neutralize” from last season. Let’s see how it goes in practice. No sunlight in a weird basement cave.

- Ooh is Garrison gonna end up coming to help with the happiness side effects? She mentioned something about there being dangerous side effects to the happiness thing, so maybe.

- Ma’am what’s in the jars. Are you making your own candles. Have you taken up jam making? Are they organs?

- Oh she’s. So close to a breakdown

- Lgbt stands for Let Garrison Bite Throats

- It makes sense that the tetherball team was staked out in Stonetown in the car that we saw, since Garrison was after Constance specifically and could easily have found out that she was living at the Benedict house. She wouldn’t have even needed to know about the reunion

- Oh she’s SO stressed

- “I eat bears” Constance ily

- She built the brain sweeper better on her own in her little basement with probably limited supplies and very little help!!!! She’s amazing!!!! Good for her!!! I feel like that’s supposed to be threatening but science crimes are okay when she does them ❤️

- She’s pathetic (affectionate)

- His. Shirt. Is. The. Stupidest. Thing. I’ve. Ever. Seen. The buttons and then the zipper????? The weird sleeves??? And patterns? Hatred. Need to bully him.

- “I’ve been expecting you” I hate him. How many hours/days was he forcing the chef to stay in that room waiting for number two to come through the doors 

- Manipulation food AGAIN.

- Ew that bite he took made my skin crawl.

- I have strong feelings on “Nicholas is happy now. Isn’t that all that matters?” and “I’m sorry that bothers you” and “I think my brother is smart enough to decide that for himself” but that’s for another time

- “I’m not hungry” AAAAAAA

- You’re not allowed to say she’s in a great deal of pain, you’re not a therapist, you’re probably not even a real doctor

- OHHHHHHHH NARCOLEPSY MENTION OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

- Garrison and curtain are both just barely hanging on!!!!!!!!! (But when she does it it’s iconic and relatable actually)

- Kate and Martina reunion time!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Martina ily you deserve so much more success than the world has given you. 😞 no college and not enough tetherball I feel bad for her

- Good for you!!!! Worst mistake you ever made!!!!!!!!!!! Absolutely roast curtain bc he deserves it!!!!!!!

- “Subconsciously looking for confrontation” what a queen.

- “If they can’t appreciate what I bring, maybe they don’t get a van” she sounds SO petty and she absolutely knows it

- Oh that’s the pie guy right?? 

- What the fuck uhhhh I don’t like the kid also doing it.

- “Spread the joy of our work from person to person, village to villaige…. no one will be left out of our loving, loving family” That’s giving forced religion in a really really gross way.

- J&J really just ZOOOOOOOMED in and I loved it. Favorite weirdos.

- Mmhmm sure you’re just undercover Mr B. Uh huh.

- Number two’s fake smile at curtain, please let her attack him.

- The fact that Curtain hasn’t noticed that THIS many people have gone missing is very telling

- “An endless chasm of sheer terror” “Or a void, utter nothingness” “Ohhh” how does my love for them just continue to grow each episode. J&J stan blog.

- All the homies hate Marlon

- Oh touching your neck, Marlon?? Hmmm wonder what THAT COULD MEAN? 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀

- “Any financial stress- WHICH THERE IS NONE”

- “Being out from under that man’s oppressive thumb is priceless” yeah it is, go queen

- Pay your mercenaries when you get a chance tho

- Martina saying comrade lmaooooo

- “The asset????” “🙄yes🙄the🙄asset🙄”

- “I guess it’s a good point” yes agree with your girlfriend Kate

- Awwww Sticky Kate lil shoulder bump

- “You say fail, I hear try again.” Good job positive thinking, whisperer! I feel like you could give Garrison some therapy maybe. She’s 3 seconds away from a breakdown at any given point (and I love her for it obviously), she’s so stressed

- I’ll say it again, science crimes are okay when she does them actually

- Old fashioned way????? You’re very unhinged but I support it

- Sticky no we don’t go to the cops

- Therapy time!!!!!!!! Rorschach???

- Oh not Rorschach

- Being absolutely ROASTED by Constance

- “FEMALE CHILD” I’m crying

- “My life is fine!!” Yeah say it again maybe you’ll believe yourself next time

- “You have no idea what you’re talking about” hurt my heart, she sounded like she was about to cry

- Dr Garrison I love you so much get some therapy, and some grant funding

- CONSTANCE. SHES ALREADY STRESSED ENOUGH

- Miss Perumal gets a first name!!!!!!!!

- OOP, GREYS

- Not the clothes not the clothes not the clothes.

- “They almost always are” when talking about her plans, why did that hurt me

- Kidnap the kidnapper!!!!!!!

- Number two have you escaped a cult before because it’s really sounding like it.

- Oh nooooooooo. :) I’m so sad that it happened to Marlon…… I definitely didn’t want to cheer……. :) And haven’t been hoping for this for 2 episodes…….. :) That’s terribleeeeee………….. :) :) :)

- It’s what he deserves

- Can the alpaca eat him

- THEM WALKING IN TO DR GARRISON’s SOBBING ECHOING THROUGH THE HALLS

- This is straddling the line between pep talk and psychological warfare, love you Constance, get her to improve her life by any means necessary

- Can one single person please wholeheartedly support Garrison? I think it would do wonders for her mental health and well-being

- Aww the headdesk, she’s having a real bad day

- “I am PERFECTLY FINE” hm, relatable

I’m mad the episode was less than 30 minutes 😡😡😡😡😡 but it’s been my favorite episode so far! 

[variousqueerthings]

When i was writing it i also kept think about blindfolded Hawkeye, all evidence really does point towards him loving it...

He really does get lead and pushed around so often, I'd love to see someone's take on how it contrasts with his control and responsibilities as chief surgeon. Even outside of surgery, the contrast of him being with someone and then having a nurse or doctor coming in to ask for help or giving him an update on a patient and how he can swap between both mindsets ect.

I firmly believe that Hawkeye would valiantly try to be had by all of the nurses if given the time and opportunity. And any attention is good attention is the sort of mindset that Hawkeye would take and then promptly act like a terror until he got the attention he wants. I feel like he wouldnt have to do this with bj as much as others but he does anyways just to be a problem.

Margaret's a strange one bc it would make sense considering her personality and Hawkeye's interest but like, idk. I think its too much of a contrast in my head from his refusal to show her respect as a major, their relationship in the later seasons (in my head) hinges so much on their views of each other as equals and i think the power dynamics would be a mess.

Its kind of funny how they have Hawkeye acknowledge how sexist some of his actions were when i feel like i always remember there being more women in those earlier seasons. I might be misremembering but i feel like if theyre going to do that they could at least make female characters more core. Like not every woman has to be plot relevant to be featured.

Aro Hawkeye my beloved <3<3 I get him, he loves his friends so much it hurts and also is so so horny. He deserves to be held gently and then absolutely railed and then held again.

-majoranon

(listen okay sometimes I get worried that an ask is too personal or inappropriate so i hold off sending my name with it but the fact that you knew it was me is so funny. What tipped you of?)

Alright, post the first out of... maybe three (maybe four)! (the others of which will be about women in MASH and much shorter I think + blindfold Hawkeye + some more aro talks beyond this + idk, sometimes you’ve just got to see where the typing takes you)

THE FIRST THING I DO IS APOLOGISE FOR THE RAMBLES AND THE FACT THAT I COULD WRITE THIS BETTER AND MORE SOURCED IF MY BRAIN WAS WORKING AND I HAD TIME... I don’t, I’m sad....

I’d originally put your message into bits and was answering them one at a time, but then everything started being about a few of the same things, SO

trust me this all comes from your message 😂 

This post: aro Hawkeye 🤝 aro Margaret and my actual dream relationship on the show (or, you’ll never guess where this meta/headcanon is going, or maybe you will, idk)

ALSO KNOWN AS: I make the argument that Hawkeye and Margaret are already in an aromantic life-partnership and so her occasionally topping him is really just a part of the benefits for both of them (but also I barely make the latter half of that argument, I’m sorry, I go all over the place with this one)

I think (and I mentioned that in another post) that Hawkeye being chief surgeon and Very Good at his high-stress job is a feature in this entire (somewhat jokey, but also haha kidding... unless... you know?) headcanon -- lots of people with those kinds of jobs want to get to shut off any decision-making/responsibilities outside of that space and we see that a lot with Hawkeye (in a non-sexual sense). He really really hates being in charge when it’s not about the job 

I just rewatched Carry On, Hawkeye and I love how there’s that scene where Margaret is like “I should be in charge now” and Hawkeye basically goes “absolutely, have at it,” but because she’s so used to him being contrarian and bitchy with her, she thinks he’s arguing that she shouldn’t 

and it gives us this interesting line:

and then in the same episode having just given Margaret the reports she needed, if we’re going for the “Hawkeye and strong women/Hawkeye and I’m just a little guy/Hawkeye and putting himself on the table” well...

literally.... on the table....

(Margaret if you’re in charge you have to get used to a lanky weirdo lying about on your desk, that’s just who he is)

and then of course:

S I R (mr alan alda, you cannot tell me this guy has never been topped by a woman (we leave domming out of the discussion for today kids, but youknow.. it’s Margaret, she of the riding crop and vibrator))

Anyway this takes us neatly into “Margaret and Hawkeye” territory... 

*

1. first there’s all this stuff around sexuality and gender and romance and relationships happening between those two -- Margaret and “sir” and incorrect womanhood leading her relationships to not work and being openly sexual (and highly suggested dominating), Hawkeye and calling himself “aunt” and being a motherhen and all the being pregnant jokes, and being stepped on jokes, and “joking” about being married to men, etcetcetc -- 

of course the crux of which is that amazing conversation they have in “Stars and Stripes” in which it’s made textual how similar they are in their ideas about relationships. One of the main reasons I like to hc them as aro is that the way they phrase it is so... vague.... they can’t pinpoint why it never works out for them, time and time again, other than “they can’t change who they are,” and they’re looking for a “custom fit,” but at least with Hawkeye he’s been shown to “fall in love” with people very fast (Erika, Kyung Soon, Inga, etc) and (due to the nature of syndication) get over those relationships again/fall in love with someone new just as fast -- and a note on Erika is that he’s literally suggesting marriage and she’s the one to shut him down (in an also very aro way)

not to mention Carlye whom he proposes to have been in love with for years/never gotten over, but when given the chance for a do-over doesn’t leap at the chance... again because of vague “you choose your job over romantic relationships” reasons (any aromantic who can relate to that reasoning/has literally scoured for historical people who were described that way, raise your hands) 

with Margaret you do get the sense that she’d wanted these relationships/that she invests in them, but that the men can never accept her as she is (which Hawkeye does -- and he doesn’t even do it on purpose, to begin with they’re scratching and clawing at each other as we all know), so you see, she’d love to be in a romantic relationship if only she were a completely different person, but alas she can’t be and so she’ll never be a correct woman (again, any aro who’s felt that connection between brokenness and incorrect gender and aroness raise your hands...) and to stretch that one even further, the imagery in “Dreams” of her in the wedding dress with those bodies of men in her bed and the miscarriage-looking blood-stain, it’s all... very evocative of that same incorrect/broken woman, who will never get those things that society promises are what brings happiness that she won’t have and maybe doesn’t even want, but what’s the alternative being offered here? 

dead bodies and a lifetime of being alone?

*

2.  I think it’s interesting that you said that because Margaret’s and Hawkeye’s later relationship hinges on them being equals that the power dynamics would be a mess, when that respect is actually the very thing that makes me think of them being perfect for each other in this scenario – there’s a lot of trust and vulnerability that goes into that, especially considering aforementioned gendered expectations and the ways they both already fuck around with them, and how well they know each other at that point. And if I’m gonna take “Inga” at face value, Hawkeye isn’t as out about his (in this headcanon) preferences as one might have thought, so being vulnerable with a stranger? Or someone who isn’t as under his skin as Margaret is?  

What I do wonder about is whether later seasons Hawkeye is… all that interested in sex? Overall? Comparatively? Sure, there’s the occasional “Hawkeye has a date” or “Hawkeye does some flirting (with friends),” but – I will go more into this in my next post about women in MASH – when he talks to Marina in opening s10 about how he’s not treated women right in the past + has seen too much to ever be wide-eyed again, it is both good reasons to blow her off, and also something I definitely read at face value.

It also goes into something someone said on a post (I’m sorry I cannot remember where) about how later seasons had less sex, but also less homoeroticism hand-in-hand with that, but also that it’s just that the tone is overall – for Hawkeye more than any other character (he frequently gets The Narrative end of the stick, while everyone else is having a bit of a laugh) – less light-hearted at that point, and also it may have had to do with how they wanted to write the women who did come on the show (again, for next post). My point is that it all adds up to make him seem both Really Really Tired and Much Less Interested In Sex, and then as a consequence gives it a fun read of maybe he's less interested in sex, because he’s so damn tired?

In that scenario is he looking for an occasional fun time with his good friend Margaret Houlihan who maybe would step on him wearing heels (a thing he has canonically lamented her not doing at one point on the show) if he asked nicely and called her sir? Or is it that by the time they become good enough friends that he might trust her and she might trust him with these sexual and gender transgressions, he’s not in a place to try and make anything like this happen at all, because he’s just… tired?

But overall, I do think out of anyone at the 4077th… except for maybe Klinger (and also Sid, if we’re going beyond-but-adjacent), Margaret is the person who might be able to accommodate for Hawkeye the best, and Hawkeye might be able to give Margaret something she doesn’t entirely know how to balance with other men (the one downside is that technically Margaret would wanna be doing something like this with a guy like Trapper – bigger/more traditionally outwardly masculine, but it’s not like she doesn’t find Hawkeye attractive/I don’t think it would be a total dealbreaker – anyway, also smthinsmthin Hawkeye and Margaret are often attracted to the same kinda guy… as for women, I think Hawkeye is pretty broad, while Margaret likes Strong Women (similar to the men))

Meanwhile Margaret, it feels like, has prepared herself for this lifetime of loneliness, except she’s got this family all around her and maybe this guy who’s also not looking for normative relationship structures and is also Not Correct in vague, unspoken (queer) ways. But maybe, again, around the time where it could conceivably be going on, neither of them are in that headspace or maybe they can get each other out of the more tragedy-filled-careening-towards-the-end-of-the-narrative headspace, I can’t say for sure until I’ve finished the show

and speaking of that unknowable space...

What about after the show then?

*

3. So here’s some stuff I can’t know until I’ve finished it -- I don’t know where Hawkeye ends up and I don’t know where Margaret ends up (or anyone else for that matter), but I do think they’re the two characters who are the most conflicted at this point and likely will be right through to the end 

Margaret has made a choice to not get into a romantic relationship with anyone unless they understand her as she is, and so to all intents and purposes has practically sworn off romantic relationships -- this is also framed as her putting her career first, although not entirely. It’s more like she’s putting herself first, but also… there’s something there that doesn’t quite fit. It’s certainly more possible for her to stick with the military than to conform to a housewife ideal, because she’s been with the military her whole life, but she also no longer idealizes what it is and stands for. I really do wonder where she’ll be by the end and I sort of assume she’ll stay with the military, but I also read that somewhat through the lens of disappointing, but expected romances.

Because she’s changed a lot. I don’t think the military really is her home, but I don’t think she knows of anywhere else to go. So I wouldn’t be surprised if she stays with it – I think it would be in character – I just think it would be bittersweet. Better than a marriage, but also not as good as she could do if she could unpack some more of those vague ideas that niggle in her brain (it’s queerness, but not just that, but this read of her is based around that aromanticism in particular).

And meanwhile Hawkeye is just a mess. Idk, I can’t see that changing. I also can’t see where I’d place him after the war, because I can’t see him as okay in that movie-lotr Frodo Baggins Can Never Go Home way. I can’t see anyone as technically “okay,” but I don’t think he has anyplace where he could go to attempt what people call “resuming a normal life.” Hell, I’m not even entirely sure I could see him continuing as a surgeon (that episode with the surgeon who completely breaks down is uh… well, it’s not there for nothing). Similar to Margaret, but with added PTSD, there’s all that Vagueness niggling at his brain, which maybe angers him, because he already knows he’s a big ol bisexual who falls for married men, so what gives? And he doesn’t even have a fallback like the army. At best he might simply be a surgeon or a general practitioner, but you know… The Horrors. I can’t see him as anything but haunted for the rest of his life

And so thinking of a dream scenario where they both somehow make it and it’s not just “trying to get by (trying to get by in the army, trying to get by back in Maine, trying to remember what “home” is supposed to be)” I’m like… what if they just moved in together and tried to deal with the Vagueness together, same as they’ve done multiple times on the show? 

(And sidenote I maybe should’ve gotten into earlier, it’s so interesting that their romantic travails are shared with one another more than any other character -- Hawkeye is the person who knows the most about what was going on with her and Frank/Don/Sully, and she knows about him and Kyung Soon, and the aforementioned Big Conversation about The Revolving Heart Of Korea, which is said by Margaret, but is really the both of them)

(sidenote: Hawkeye is consistently the person who makes her smile like this the most)

(other other sidenote: “double-solitaire” ought to be codeword for queerplatonic aro partnership?????)

(other other other sidenote: literally just watched “Birthday Girls” in which Margaret rails against getting sympathy, but in this one she accepts it so readily from Hawkeye, and has done multiple times ever since the episode with the dog)

Margaret is the woman (maybe even the person) that Hawkeye knows best/has Hawkeye’s number and has done from very early on (but now she’s incredibly fond of that nr), Hawkeye is at least 10% of Margaret’s perfect man, it would be a great beard for the both of them, and they’d be able to draw a lot of comfort from each other.

And you know... they See Each Other and don’t expect the other person to change the core of themselves to fit, and they could challenge one another to become their most truthful selves better than anyone else could 

*

SO IN CONCLUSION WOULD MARGARET DOM HAWKEYE (is barely the question that’s been answered in this long fucking post): IT DEPENDS 

early seasons Hawkeye would have been SO up for it, but Margaret would not + it wouldn’t have been great for either of them I think? Although, sometimes they got along, even then, so maybe off the back of an episode like that... (but I do think it matters that they never canonically have sex until “Comrade in Arms”)

later seasons Hawkeye may have been too depressed for sexual frolicking and Margaret was going through an identity crisis, so idk, somewhere in between all of that somewhere? 

POST seasons Hawkeye and Margaret... maybe? depending on where you puttem? if they get to spend time together?

would they at the very least have fantasized about it? Oh yeah, absolutely!

I leave you with this image:

[moonstruckme]

hi! i love ur work! i was wondering if you could do a poly!marauders or just remus taking care of r when they're stressed abt school. like maybe reader doesn't sleep bc they're studying and they're just trying to get r to sleep or to take a rest but they're stubborn like "i have to learn this, i'll go to sleep as soon as i finish studying"

Thanks so much sweetheart!

Remus Lupin x fem!reader ♡ 623 words

When Remus wakes in the early hours of the morning, you’re still not in bed. He forces himself up, padding down the hall to where a light is still on over the kitchen table.

You’re lying there like a puppet that’s had its strings cut, one hand still on the trackpad of your laptop and a tiny puddle of drool spreading on the table from where your face rests against the wood. 

You look like you’re deep in slumber, but as soon as Remus’s fingertips brush your shoulder you jolt awake. 

“I’m up,” you say, seemingly to yourself or perhaps some omniscient judge of your work ethic. 

Remus flattens his palm on your upper back. He thinks he can actually feel the strained muscles around your neck from being slumped over the way you had. “This isn’t a very comfortable place to doze off, dove.” 

“I just—” You blink forcefully, giving your head a little shake as if to reinvigorate yourself. It doesn’t look like it makes your eyelids weigh any less. “Just took a power nap. I’m good now.” 

Remus takes your hand, moving it out of the way so he can close your laptop. You seem hardly able to track his movements, eyebrows pinching when you hear the click of it shutting. 

“It’s late,” he says. “Time for bed.” 

“Not yet.” You’re shaking your head again. “I will soon, I just have to finish studying first.” 

“You’ve studied all you can.” Remus tugs your hand gently, trying to encourage you to your feet. “You won’t be able to retain anything more when you’re this tired.” 

You stay stubbornly in your chair. “I just need some more coffee.” 

“The only thing you need right now,” he says firmly, pulling you up and away from the kitchen table, “is your pillow.” 

He starts leading you toward the bedroom, and you’re not resisting him anymore but Remus can see the uncertainty on your face. You’ve been worrying about this test for weeks; Remus doubts you’ll ever feel like you’ve studied enough for it, but he feels bad worsening your nerves by making you stop. 

“Darling, you’ve got circles under your eyes so dark I could mistake you for a raccoon,” he says softly, smoothing his thumb over the back of your hand. “You’ll do much better on your exam if you’re well rested, trust me.” 

You sigh, too exhausted even for anxiety, and lean your head on his shoulder. “Okay,” you say dully. “Thanks, Rem.” 

He kisses your head in response. It’s lucky that you’d changed into your pajamas before beginning your study session, because all you have to do is get right into bed. You set your phone on your nightstand, and Remus reaches across you to take it. 

“What’re you doing?” you ask, voice already soft and slightly slurred as you let your head sink into your pillow. 

Remus taps at your screen, squinting in the blue light. “Shh, go to sleep.” 

“Remus.” You sound more alert, and he holds up a hand to fend you off as you reach for the device. “Stop it.” 

“No, I’m turning off your alarms so you can get some real rest.” You whine as he finishes, shutting your phone off with a click and setting it on his nightstand where you can’t tamper with it. “No more power naps, dove. I won’t let you miss your class, alright? Go to sleep.” 

You make a huffing sound, but fatigue softens it into a sigh. “Fine.” You shuffle closer to him under the covers, seeking his warmth. “G’night.” 

Remus wraps a hand around your middle, tugging you the rest of the way to him and pressing a kiss to the nape of your neck. “Goodnight, sweetheart.”

[nickeverdeen]

Hiii! I was wondering if you could do a Harry Potter match for me if it’s not too much trouble ☺️ if you can I’d like a male character and my pronouns are she/her 

Description: 

I’m Kinda tall (5’11) and has shoulder length curly black hair and brown eyes.

I have glasses but I don’t wear them all the time (they work w some fits and they don’t work w others- yet I’m still insecure abt them)

I have brown skin (like milk chocolate shade) and my body type is kinda hourglass leaning to pear shape- anyway~

I’m a Gemini and an ISFP, and I’m straight 

I’m pretty much that burnt out gifted kid who dreads school yet still gets A’s and B’s bc they don’t wanna disappoint their family, but I really love anything that’s creative 

Drawing, making edits, writing, crafting, decorating. Love it all. My aesthetic is a mix between cottagecore and dark academia

Im very indecisive and hate conflict-

(The idea of someone hating me scares me) 

I’m a total introvert and loves staying at home lazing around but if I’m with someone I really like and trust I’ll go pretty much anywhere with them bc I know I won’t regret it :)

small groups >>> large ones

I’m pretty quiet at first (I’m more of a “ew, I hate ppl introvert then a “I’m scared of ppl introvert”) but that just leads ppl to thinking I’m shy but then become surprised when I have things to say and talk about. I’m actually more sarcastic than you think

Yet I never talk about my self.

I struggled (and still struggle) with self esteem issues from time to time, but it’s gotten better :)

I’m a go w the flow type of girl. I don’t get stressed over much, and I don’t really yell or raise my voice over anything- but I do laugh a lot.

If you can make me laugh- like TRULY laugh, ima be stuck to u like glue <3 

Bottom line: if you’re goofy w a sense of humor? Ima like u :D

Ppl say I’m comforting and easy to be real around which makes me feel good 😌

I like skincare and anything of that sort, so I’m always the one using face masks and creams all the time. I love mystery books and movies, basically anything where I have to figure out who did what.  Love dogs, flowers, art, music, and theme parks as well :) 

(Omg sorry if this is so long!)

Your Harry Potter match is…

Ron Weasley

Sometimes teases you or plays with your hair

Someone has some stupid things to say about your glasses? Nah you gotta hold him back

Reassures you that you look good in your glasses

Suprised that you get all As and Bs

Girl, please help him with his homework or studies for exams if you can

Dates at Three Broomsticks

Ron is very gentle and protective with you

The trio likes you

If you’ll let him watch Netflix, he’ll make movie dates

Feeling down? Jokes and your favourite movies plus cuddles are on

Ron loves it when you talk about yourself and interests

Stands up for you if someone’s rude to you, be sure of that

Makes jokes to cheer you up

Complimets 24/7

Istg he’d really try to buy you some creams, but he’d probably end up getting something completely else

Ron would have to ask Hermione or Ginny for help about it, though

Which would end up him getting teased by Fred and George

He’d be on the other hand be able to buy you flowers

Be prepared, Molly loves you

You’re part of their family, no buts or ifs

Ron is ESFP and Sagittarius, if that’s in any way important

He’s the golden retriever in your relationship, no arguments

Ron also dislikes arguments, especially with you

————————————————————

[animeomegas]

Can you trust this BNHA boy to give your child the birds and the bees talk?

Midoriya: His hands are shaking, the pup’s hands are shaking, there’s enough blushing that neither can stand because all the blood is in their heads. But he gets through it. Probably made flash cards. Neither can read them because they’re both about to pass out. He gives the pup the flash cards to read alone later. Asks ‘do you have any questions?’ like he’s being held at gunpoint. It gets done though. 

Rating: Turn off your heating because the blushing will heat the house for you/10

...

Denki: Actively volunteers to do it. The pup is rolling their eyes bc they know what’s coming. Gets a little too into the social parts of the talk and not enough into the biological parts. Stresses that he made loads of bad decisions on this topic when he was their age, so they shouldn’t be ashamed to come to him for help. Asks ‘have you got any questions?’ like it’s a challenge. 

Rating: Doesn’t know what a fallopian tube is, but surprisingly insightful on some deep topics/10

...

Aizawa: Will only agree to do it if it’s time sensitive and you’re not there, or if the pup specifically requests him for some unknown reason. Better with younger pups who just need a biology lesson. Worse with the older ones. If the pup only takes one thing away from the conversation it’ll be ‘contraception, protection, contraception, protection’ because he says it like 25 times. Directs ‘have you got any questions?’ towards the other parent. 

Rating: No personal anecdotes/stories under any circumstance/10

...

Iida: Buys a textbook a month in advance and reads the whole thing first. Makes a lesson plan. Does not occur to him that a teenage pup might be putting the information into use fairly soon. Has a ‘when you’re at least 26 and married’ vibe, but only because that’s how he viewed sex and is baffled to find other people disagree. Waaayyy better with younger pups, but waits too long for that to be a useful skill. Asks ‘have you got any questions?’ and is baffled by the questions that follow.

Rating: ‘Yes dad, I’m definitely a virgin 🙄’/10

... 

Kirishima: Buys snacks for the talk for some reason. Injects a whole load of talk about consent and respect for others and oneself. Is surprisingly good at figuring out the pup’s existing knowledge and not patronising them. Probably the best at it from the people so far. Asks ‘have you got any questions?’ with enough sincerity to encourage the pup to actually ask their questions. 

Rating: ‘Hey champ, I was your age once, I understand what you’re feeling, let’s hug it out’/10

...

Tamaki: Why are you doing this to him? What if the pup asks about his sex life? Or about something weird they’ve seen on he internet? What if he doesn’t know how to answer??? Walks to the living room to have the talk like he’s walking to his death. Wants to be there for his pup, but would really rather you sat there with him and led the talk. Asks ‘have you got any questions?’ without breathing.

Rating: Crying, screaming, throwing up/10

...

Dabi: Too much detail, too little detail, never finds the balance. Keeps going to share personal anecdotes before realising how inappropriate they are and aborting half way. Focuses on how to beat the shit out of someone who won’t take no for an answer. Is surprised by how stressed he feels afterwards and has to take some time for himself. Asks ‘have you got any questions?’ very blasé like, but has some triggers that he won’t deal with and will send them to the other parent.  

Rating: ‘Aiming for the crotch is temping because of the setting, but aiming for the throat does more damage, so do that’/10

...

All Might: Feels confident going in, has all that confidence stripped away the second his pup uses one (1) slang term he doesn't understand. The kind of talk that ends up being more informative for him than the pup. He ages 20 years and dies instantly if any of the following topics are broached: kinks, already being sexually active, any sex acts other than penetrative missionary for baby making, etc. Doesn’t ask ‘have you got any questions?’ because he has more questions than the pup could ever possibly have. 

Rating: Kids these days (baffled)/10

...

[holdmecloser-gandydancer]

7 (“Your smile makes me smile. No that’s cringe . . . your laugh makes me laugh- that’s even worse”) w blupjeans bc I love this song and also it's just such a Them vibe. thank u!! -ise

from this prompt list [still accepting, but i make no promises for speed lsdfkjsd]

“Toss me the tissues?” Lucretia asked as she held her hands up and readied herself to catch any wayward projectiles. Barry grimaced before chucking the box her way; he undershot it just a touch but the box landed squarely on Lucretia’s bed. “Okay, not bad!”

Barry busied himself with putting the popcorn within easy reach of the two of them. Lucretia tossed a small green pouch Barry’s way. “Green tea scented?”

“It’s good for stress! I’ve got a rosewater one over here if you prefer,” she offered, holding up a small red pouch.

He shook his head. “Nah, this one’s good. You just slather it on?”

Lucretia ripped open her pouch and nodded. “You do! It’s gonna feel gross on your hands but trust me, it’s a fun little luxury.”

They sat in silence for a few minutes, doing their best to not get the masks anywhere but their faces. They quickly realized that tissues weren’t exactly the best option to wipe the excess off with but it did the job well enough. Lucretia leaned over and snagged some popcorn for herself. Barry glanced over at her and snorted.

“What?” she asked, narrowing her eyes at him.

“Nothing, you just look silly.” Lucretia caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror over the dresser; her mask was a light pink and had actual bits of roses crushed up in it.

“Barry, I think the man with green clay smeared all over his face shouldn’t be the first one to throw stones,” she said lightly.

“Okay, you got me there.”

Another moment passed, the two of them snacked on popcorn all the while. “So, Taako and I have been talking,” Lucretia began.

“Oh no.”

“No, no, listen, Barry. You’ve gotta figure out this thing with Lup. Seriously. It’s getting unbearable for the rest of us at this point.”

“Luce, I thought this was just supposed to be a nice roommate night,” he sighed, frowning a little.

“It is! But having you hostage because you look silly is an added bonus,” she admitted. “It’s not just you. Lup’s being as impossible about this whole thing as you are.”

“I don’t really think there’s anything to be impossible about,” Barry defended. So what if he’d been mooning over Lup for an embarrassingly long time? Given the situation they were in, the absolute last thing he was willing to do was put whatever relationship he did have with Lup in jeopardy. Sure, there was a massive reward possible but the risk was far too substantial to make it worth it.

“Barry, come on. I know you’re scared. That’s fine. But you’re making yourself miserable. You love her, yeah?”

“I mean, I love the whole crew,” he sputtered, certainly turning cherry red under his mask.

Lucretia rolled her eyes dramatically. “Sure, dude, we all do but you don’t see me looking wistfully at Magnus or trailing Merle like a puppy, do you?”

“Like a puppy?” he asked, horrified. He knew he’d been more obvious than he cared to be but he surely thought he’d been doing a decent job at keeping his dignity.

Lucretia grimaced. “If it makes you feel any better, Lup’s been doing the same thing. So Barry, let’s try that again: you love Lup, right?”

Barry sighed and flopped back on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. He didn’t want to go on denying. Didn’t want to keep living with this massive empty space in his chest. If he perma-died tomorrow, he didn’t want to die with it unsaid. “Yeah. I do. I am embarrassingly, completely, unbearably in love with Lup.”

Lucretia squealed and clapped a little. “That’s a big first step, you know! Now, let’s help you figure out what to do about it.”

“Luce, no—”

“Nope, no takebacks! Lucky for you though, I can help. Please, please, Barry. You can write up a little note if you want so you don’t have to worry about like, soup brain coming in.”

“I dunno, isn’t that super childish?”

She shrugged. “Maybe. And I’m not saying this has to be it but it might be nice to get some words out.” She reached under her pillow and grabbed a worn journal with a pen stuck inside its pages. She brought her knees up to her chest and rested her journal on her makeshift desk. “Okay, what do you want to say to Lup?”

“Um. Gods. Okay uh…hmm. Okay, Lup: your smile makes me smile?” He ventured before sighing. “No, that’s cringe. Um…Your laugh makes me laugh—no that’s even worse. Shit.”

Lucretia looked over at him. “I think you’re overthinking this. What made you fall for her?”

“Everything,” he said immediately. “Like, we all know she’s hilarious and beautiful. Obviously. But she’s whip smart, catches mistakes in stuff I’m supposed to be an expert in. A-and she’s so kind. Um. Really early in the mission, like Cycle six or seven, was just hell. It was the one with the severe weather and the carnivorous plants and the really hostile government. It was getting to me. And one night when I thought everyone was asleep I was crying in the kitchen. Just bawling. Snot running, the whole shebang. And Lup came into the kitchen and I tried to make it look like I wasn’t crying because it was embarrassing. But she didn’t laugh. She sat next to me and we talked about it a little bit and it was like I was seeing her for the first time. Really seeing her. We weren’t colleagues then; we were peers. Friends, even.

“And I thought it would be this fleeting thing. But then the animal world cycle? Seeing her with the mongoose family? I was lost. And I’ve been lost for years. She makes me feel lost and found and seen and heard and like what I say actually matters. I’m hopelessly, endlessly in love with her. And I don’t know what do with all this love.”

Lucretia watched Barry, scribbling down a note without looking at the paper all the while. She paused for a moment, waiting to see if Barry would continue. When he didn’t, Lucretia carefully ripped the page out of her journal and tore the jagged edges off. She folded it carefully and set it beside the popcorn. “Give it to her. The love, that is. I’m serious. Like I said, Taako and I have been talking. You’re both being ridiculous and delaying the inevitable. Personally I think you should march down to her and Taako’s room right now but to each their own.”

Barry laughed at that and Lucretia was glad that some levity returned to the room. “Thanks, Luce. It’s still going to take time, I think. But thank you for listening. Even if this felt more like an interrogation.”

“What can I say, I’m learning a lot on this mission. And if you have anything, it’s time. Just don’t waste too much of it.” She smiled before grimacing a bit. “Ow okay, I think my face is all set up, let’s go wash these off.”

“Right behind you, I’m tired of looking like a mucus man.”

“Ew!”

[leahblackk]

I have not sent in a request jn like 6 years but okay -

something maybe a lil big angsty but like spencer is being over the top sarcastic with reader. maybe they’re in an argument over his job or something some argument and Spencer is just being very rude and sarcastic to the point where reader can’t tell if it’s a joke or not, and in the midst of their argument spencer is called away on a case, and comes home to see reader has left. (if u wanna fluff it up at the end he can apologize profusely and they can cuddle it out but up to you leah bc your mind is genius)

Hurtful words

(Not my gif)

Summary: a little blurb by my local amazing ideas giver, Alex. Let’s all say thank you Alex for this idea.

Couple: Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Warnings: Spencer being a little shit. And mentions of being injured because of gunshot. And many mistakes I’m sorry :)

Oh my god yes! I feel like I haven’t done a blurb in years. Your blurb ideas are the ones that keep me going. And you are the genius!! Your ideas are extremely amazing and I’m happy I can make them true <3

Spencer Reid.

What a mystery that man was.

Y/n met Spencer as a sweet young man with glasses and cute jumpers. A man who didn't catch certain social things. He didn’t understood sarcasm in certain occasions or indirect messages or double intentions. Of course, he knew what it was, but he didn’t know how to act with it or how to use it.

Until he learned how to be passive-aggressive.

The first time Y/n ever saw Spencer being passive-aggressive with someone was with JJ when the Lauren/Emily thing happened. Spencer, of course, was very mad about it. JJ was his best friend, the person he most trusted besides his girlfriend. He couldn’t understand why he couldn’t know. It wasn’t like he was going to tell anyone! He had the right to know that his friend whom he loved so much wasn’t buried five feet underground! He cried on his girlfriend floor for hours, and when he was too embarrassed by her looking at him, he went to JJ’s house. She saw him, she saw him crying his eyes out for her and she didn’t say a damn thing! Of course he was going to be mad.

Y/n never thought she had to worry about him being like that with her.

Spencer always has been a sweet man. But he isn’t when he’s under stress, mad or sad. The pressure over him made his IQ of 187 slashed to 63. He couldn’t think straight. And Spencer never worried about him being like that with his girlfriend. He didn’t had any reasons to be. She was all nice to him and cared about him.

But now, things changed while they were fighting in their shared apartment.

Y/n has been injured on a case after being reckless, or that was the way his boyfriend thought, but to be honest she saved a life, even if that got her hurt. She didn’t care. She would do it again. And that petrified Spencer.

Even if her doctor told her she could go back to the field. Spencer wasn’t going to have any of it. That was why they were fighting. Neither of them liked to deal with strong emotions. He wanted to say he didn’t want her to be there because he was scared he was going to lose her. He couldn’t lose her. She was his everything. His glue putting him together when the world tried to bring him down and shatter his heart. She was the thing that keeps him going. But instead of saying that, he was treating her badly and Y/n on her side wasn’t going to have any of it.

“Why can’t you understand, Spencer? I’m not a child. I can perfectly take care of myself.” She said putting her clothes on her go-bag while Spencer took them out.

He chuckled, “Perfectly take care of yourself? Yeah of course I believe you. When did you take care of yourself? When you put yourself in front of the unsub and he shot you? Yeah, Y/n, that’s taking care of yourself.”

She frowned.

That hurt.

“Excuse Spencer but you’re not no one to tell me what to do.”

“I’m your boyfriend!” He said, hurt.

“And? That doesn’t give you any right to tell me what to do. I’m a grown-up, Reid. If you didn’t notice. I’m not a child you can take care of.”

“Sometimes I think you are, you know?” He then looked at her, “You act worse than a child sometimes. Being so reckless and putting yourself in danger.”

“Like you haven’t done that yourself either.”

“I have! But I knew what I was doing. You weren’t thinking!”

“When is gonna be the day you understand you can’t tell me what to do?”

“When you stop being so reckless and actually take care of yourself,” He crossed his arms over his chest, “But apparently that’s not happening.”

She sighed with anger and looked at him. Throwing a shirt over his face and going downstairs to the kitchen to drink water and calm herself. Spencer followed her and entered the kitchen taking a glass of water as well.

She didn’t even look at him. He wanted her looking at him. He wanted to feel those eyes on him even if they were full of anger.

So he made it in the wrong way.

“And you said you’re not a child,” he murmured referring to her throwing the shirt on his face.

“What was that?” She turned around and look at him.

“You perfectly heard it, Y/n.”

“I can’t believe you’re the one calling me a child. Look at you,” she moved her hands up and down in front of him to make a point, “I’m going to that case you like it or not.”

“I wouldn’t risk the team to be with you on the case. They might end it up injured with your recklessness.”

Silence.

The words Spencer throw made echo in both lovers ears.

Reid bit his bottom lip regretting the words as soon as they came out of his mouth. Trying to take them back but the damage was already done.

Y/n looked at him without any emotion. Until her eyes start to burn and the tears came out. She lifted her hand with anger and wiped them off feeling her cheeks getting warmer and warmer.

Spencer looked at her and his heart ached. Why did he said that? She was a great agent. He was just scared of losing her and if by telling her that stuff, she would stay home safe, he would do it. But he regretted it now. He regretted it so much.

She chuckled without any humour and licked her bottom lip, tears coming down her face again.

But she let them now. Too tired.

Spencer’s first instinct was to step forward to her, but she stayed back putting her hands in front of him, to stop him.

She didn’t want to be touched by him.

He looked down.

He spends his life touching her. Loving her and worshipping her body. Touching her soft skin with soft moves, carefully not wanting to break her as she was a porcelain doll. But now, she didn’t want to be touched by him.

And Spencer understood.

He did.

It was all his fault at the end of the day. He made her stayed back when he wanted to pull her in. It was his fault. “I don’t want you to touch me,” she murmured and passed him taking her arms close to her so they wouldn’t brush his skin.

Spencer’s tears came down now.

I don’t want you to touch me.

She didn’t want him to touch her.

But all he wanted to do was touch her and let her know he didn’t mean those words. How could he? She was perfect in everything she did, her job included. Mostly her job.

Spencer didn’t notice how much time had passed while he stood frozen in the middle of their kitchen until he felt his phone buzzed. He took it out of his pocket. It was Morgan.

Hey Spencer. I know you love your girlfriend so much but we have to hurry! People are dying you know? Not everything is vanilla and roses like you two.

Spencer chuckled. Only if he knew.

He went upstairs with careful moves while he pressed his palms together trying to stop the trembling. He mostly did.

All her clothes were now in the closet, her go-bag as well. She wasn’t going to the case. It wasn’t a surprise. He knew he would achieve what he wanted after saying that. But now it didn’t felt right.

He moved closer to where she was. On their shared bed. He sat down. He was about to open his mouth to say something but she did it first. “Please don’t say anything. You have said enough and I think your thoughts are very clear,” her voice sounds broken. And was all his fault, “Just go. Tell the team I haven’t made full recovery yet.”

He nodded even if she couldn’t see him because she was hiding under the blankets.

What Spencer didn’t notice was the way after saying those words, her hands end it up on her mouth trying the sobs not to come out. She knew if Spencer heard those he would stay with her, even if they just argued. It was Spencer at the end of the day.

He would do anything for her.

Spencer full of guilty took his go-bag and walked directly to the door, looking at her once more.

He wanted to ask.

He needed to know.

You’re gonna be here when I come back?

You’re gonna still be here when I come back?

But the words never left his mouth. They got stuck on his throat. The pain and the tears as well. He needs to say he still loved her. That no matter what he still loved her. He loves her.

He-

He loves her.

But he couldn’t. So he turned around, and left.

When the front door closed Y/n finally let the sobs out.

…

The young doctor tried to avoid all the questions on why he was so grumpy and distracted.

The answer to those questions was “I just had a huge fight with the love of my life and I’m worried she leaves while I’m here. Even if she have every right to I’m still scared because she’s the only thing that keeps me going.”

But of course, he didn’t said it.

He just dismissed everything saying he didn’t have good sleep which didn’t make things better because later on, he was going to be teased by Emily and Morgan.

And when the case was finally closed, he ran to the closest flower shop to buy her favourite flowers and then he went to her favourite restaurant to get her favourite food to then ran to the metro all the way to their shared apartment.

He tried to manage to open the door with all the things in his hand but he couldn’t so he put his satchel and the flowers on the wooden floor, and he was about to put the food as well but then he thought about the germs even if the food was protected, so he put it above his satchel and he was finally able to open the door.

The lights were off which wasn’t weird of her. She wasn’t a lover of the lights of the apartment, always reminding Spencer that they needed to change them as they were too bright, but they never had time to do so, but that was exactly what Spencer was going to do tomorrow.

He then took off his shoes and put them next to the others, but her shoes weren’t there which was weird but he didn’t think too much about it. Maybe she forgot to take them off.

Spencer, then, open the door, even more, to put all the things inside of the house. He put his satchel on the little table next to the shoes and his keys as well.

Her keys weren’t there.

Spencer’s heart stopped.

Her keys weren’t there.

He breathed in and out softly trying to calm his desperate heart beating faster and faster on his chest wanting to get out. He put his palms together trying to stop the trembling but this time was impossible.

He took the flowers with him and went upstairs closing the front door behind him and he open the door of their shared bedroom.

She wasn’t there.

She-

She wasn’t there.

Where did she go?

Did she leave?

No.

No.

“No,” Spencer whispered the tears coming down his eyes.

She wouldn’t. Even if she was mad. She wouldn’t do that as everyone else did without any more explanation than a letter or a note.

A letter.

He needed to find the letter.

He searched on their bed and the tables beside their side of the bed. He didn’t look in their closet or bathroom because she wouldn’t leave that there.

Spencer went downstairs to the kitchen looking for the letter on the dining table and outside of the refrigerator. But there was none.

He, then walked to the living room looking and moving things making a mess.

He needed to read the letter.

She must have left a letter.

Everyone else left a letter.

And the door open but he didn’t heard it because of his desperation and the sound of his heartbeat making echo in his hears

He needed to find the letter.

He turned around and she saw her. Standing there with a sundress and her hair tied. She looked beautiful. She always looked beautiful, but she had a frown on her face looking with confusion at her surroundings, the mess he just made and then back to Spencer repeatedly.

And then he understood he needed to explain himself. “I-I,” he looked down and closed his eyes full of tears for a few seconds. She saw the trembling on his hands. She made a step forward from instinct but then she stopped as she remembers what happened between them. He looked up at her. He couldn’t get the words out of his mouth but she waited for him to talk, patiently while he tried to find the correct words. “I came here right away. Well not right away because I went first to the flower shop and then to your favourite restaurant,” he rambled looking at her. She didn’t stop him. She didn’t have any intention to stop him. Instead, she listens carefully. She always listens, “you weren’t at home and I’ve been nervous all these past days because I thought you would leave, and you had every right to and then I came back here and you weren’t and I looked for a-a note or letter.”

Her heart shattered.

People that left his life always left a note or a letter. She remembers when he told her that.

“I didn’t leave,” he nodded. She didn’t. She stayed. “Penelope called me and she needed help with something and then she asked me if I knew why you were acting so weird and I talked to her for a while and I didn’t realize how late it was. I’m sorry.”

He shocked his head. Stepping forward to her. “You don’t have to apologize. I’m the one who needs to apologize. I shouldn’t have treated you so badly and I want you to understand that I didn’t mean a single word because you are so great and so amazing in everything you do. I would never mean those words,” now was her turn to nodded, “I just said that because after you being injured, I didn’t want you to hurt yourself or even get killed. I’m selfish, yeah I know that. But you’re my everything, Y/n. Without you, I don’t know what will I do, you’re the only one who keeps me together and the one who brings light to my darkness. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” he took her hands looking for permission first, “I said those things because I knew you would stay home, but I didn’t mean them I swear I didn’t.”

She nodded again and hugged him. He sobbed while he hugged her as his life depends on it. “I know. It’s okay love. I won't leave you I promise,” she sobbed too. “I love you.”

“I love you more, so so much.”

And they held each other while they sobbed and repeat those three little words back and forth.

They were home now.

They were okay now.