#I’m fantasizing at work
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Obsessed w the thought of Ri being so floored by the slowness of Zevran vs Gorim. From quickies in shady alleys of orzammar and getting exactly what she wants when she wants it without question to slow massages at camp, having to beg and beg for more, and finding a deep love from introspection mutual understanding.
#I’m fantasizing at work#it’s honestly emabrassing#I could go off but then we are getting into real not work friendly territory#The contrast of her and gorims relationship vs zevrans gives me so much serotonin and imagination furl#i’m foaming at the mouth#gorim wasn’t a *bad* bf and they *did* love each other but it’s just *different*#Gorim was like… a best friend that she f*cked. He knew how to -deal- with her and gave her what she thought she wanted#but zev *sees* her . before she even see herself. zev surprises her. zev makes her nervous and uncomfortable. she grows w zev#anyways. I’m rambling but I’m literally obsessed w these imaginary people#dragon age#dragon age origins#zevran arainai#da oc — riryn aeducan
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shirt that says “I ❤️ self-sabotage”
#lemon man talks#Fuckk im starting to talk about my feelings again time to close off and bottle up#It is 3am ☝️ I said I was going to sleep 3 hours ago#Dudeeee I hate everything#I’ve been taking melatonin AND camomilin TOGETHER so I can sleep and it’s NOT WORKING 🔥🔥🔥#You see. I’m tired but I can’t sleep#Whatever. Never the muse by Madilyn Mei attack go#Always the artist never the muse crave your attention you don’t have a clue romanticize me fantasize about all the ways I’d ruin your life#I JUST WANNA BE THE MUSE FOR ONCE 💥🔥🗣️‼️ I’m so miserable#Worst thing that could’ve happened to me is being cupioromantic. Joke I have been through so much
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Will you ever open up commissions again? :D
Maybe if i stopped taking up projects every month for a while i would love to yeah 😭
#ask stufff#I’m at a crossroads fantasizing all the free time I’ll have when my classes and [secret] projects get done#like do i spend it on making more money or rest .. I DONT KNOW!!!#but i gotta say very thankful for all the projects I’ve been invited to -it’s always a lot of work but it’s fun ^^
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I’m going to lose it I fucking hate working full time
#my thoughts#there’s already drama and I don’t! want! to! be! involved!#I feel like I’m in a tug of war between two people at my work who keep advising me not to let the other bully me into doing what the other#wants#they keep trying to get me to pick the desk THEY think I should pick#I DONT CARE ABOUT THE DESKS#STOPPPPP#also my free time is gone and I’m doing work that I don’t find deeply fulfilling#somehow I am passionate about the library but not passionate about doing it full time#you know what nevermind it’s not that hard to get. I hate the 40 hour workweek#literally fantasizing about quitting#no but for real I can’t do this the rest of my life#so I’m taking steps to starting a home bakery#I find cooking and baking deeply fulfilling#I applied for my home based processor license and I’m scoping out farmers markets to sell at#gotta look into the business aspect of it (starting an LLC)#also just so sad#I want to cry a lot#I feel caged inside like an animal#I want to go outside and work outside
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can’t tell if I’ve posted something like this before but
the inherent fantasy and yearning for a Star Trek future when you’re someone who’s chronically ill and dealing with a particularly bad flare — something about the fantasy of being beamed into a starfleet medbay, given a hypospray, and feeling all the pain, discomfort, soreness, and all other flare symptoms melt away as futuristic utopian medicine makes you healthy again, maybe even getting rid of the chronic illness altogether, and being comforted by a softspoken doctor who will hold your hand and stay beside you until even the lingering exhaustion fades
*yearns*
#star trek#i am so tired you guys.#pain and soreness and spending half the night in the bathroom I am so exhausted#i literally long for this so much#i want a starfleet doctor to get rid of my chronic illness and help me feel better#imagine a life where sitting at a desk. eating food. etc does not feel like colossal hurdles where you’re absolutely exhausted… what even#i’m just. so tired#*yearns in trek*#personal#the thing about fluctuating chronic illnesses too is that some days you’re passably ‘normal person’ and then other days it’s like#literally sitting at your desk and eating one (1) light meal is a stress inducing exhausting ordeal and I just. some people really are out#there living life and not dealing with this? wild. what is that like.#also the inherent fantasy of a post scarcity society where when you’re dealing with a flare you can just. y’know. not need fo work that day#if only 🥲🥲#don’t mind my rambles I am just in pain and tired and sore and trying to work through the power of ginger tea and fantasizing about trek#cries#where is cmo dr julian bashir when you need him
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i rewatched hmc so now i believe in love again. dangerous slope we’re on rn friends
#i just want someone to come back forever and ever and ever and find them over and over and over forever on loop forever forever#is that too much to ask :/#apparently yes 🙁#like all jokes and all. but i realize even when i’m suppressing it and Dealing With It and whatnot#i’m still a lovergirlie or whatever it is. romance junkie. affection seeker#uuuuggghhh. love is so nice. i love loving. but#haven’t completely let go yet so it’s not healthy for me to be fantasizing at all rn#mmm. i owe it to everyone. to let go of things and do better. and i’m gonna keep trying to do that. and so i’m gonna Not Watch HMC#bc i love sophie and howl and their love and dynamic too much#and the type of character howl is and the approach he takes#mmm. feels weird to long and not like it anymore when i used to bathe in it before#but it’s okay. working on things working on time working on me working on friendships working on growing#working on growing and filling so much space there’s no reason to long for anyone again#mano.mindtalk#anyways. hmc. thats a wonderful movie.
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I love working fast food jobs bcuz
1. I love working under a stressful and fast paced environment and no I’m not joking. If I get bored at work I start to fantasize about harming myself
2. They are sooo dramatic. I love when everyones beefing and gossiping,,, I’m kinda the Ryan O’Reily of the workplace I won’t lie.
If I was in Oz I would be working in the kitchen! Would keep me busy and I can witness a fight every day…🚬
#veteran workplace villain#I can’t help it I’m a Scorpio 🙄#I used to work at a department store and would literally fantasize about pulling out my molars with pliers#like I genuinely wanted to do it#it was not just a fantasy#anyways that was my first and last retail job…😭#my ass is not surviving solitary confinement#I would go insane and start rubbing shit on my face within 5 minutes
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Nine work days left at my current job… holy fuck
#I’m so fucking excited but I know I’m gonna miss the kids :(#a lot of them have been talking to me about next year and I’m trying to be like guys you might not work with me next year#I wish the place im at wasn’t The Worst because it’s not the kids fault#the 12 days off where I’m in between jobs will be so nice though I’m fantasizing about it now
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MARIO GOOD
#IM GENUINELY KIND OF MAD HOW GOOD IT WAS. SONIC WE COULD HAVE HAD THE WORLD#i KNOW it’s only possible bc of how well the comic movie did but oh my god what i wouldnt give for the sincere fully immersive sonic#*how well the sonic movie did#experience the world of hedgehogs and big ol gems deserved#there’s definitely nothing i could say about the mario movie that hasn’t already been said but ooogh. so pretty. illumination how#i’ve seen your other stuff. how is it this good. the music was very well done too. i need to start playing superstar saga again (do not have#time for getting into mario again but i CAN fantasize)#also very funny how many scenes are uncomfortably perfect parallels to the sonic movies . lmao#also also i’m calling it movie 2 is gonna be a super mario world adaptation (yoshi + the koopalings) and prolly bringing in daisy somehow.#peach is prolly more explicitly connected to rosalina than in canon and im here for it#mario spoilers#< to be careful#text✨#mario#the elusive jay rose nintendo era is returning methinks (am about to have some fun news about zelda stuff :)#this still doesn’t feel real how do we live in a world where the mario movie actually exists and slaps. it’s pure cheese and it’s adorable#aside from some of the VO work and the dialogue. only weak points
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today’s vibes are 18th century fop who never has to work a day in his life as he has a noble name and will inherit a very large amount of money and land
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so starved for physical intimacy the thought of someone looking over my shoulder is making me 😶🌫️
#specifically that scenario where ure sitting at ur desk and someone comes over to either annoy u or ask abt what ure doing#but they’re standing and they’re towering over u and I’m gonna delete this later#I’ve done my work for the day I think I can fantasize a bit#can we even call it physical intimacy I rlly just want someone near me
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once again. sorry 2 everyone i haven’t replied to. it’s been a really busy month between moving places, school, family stuff, work, and dealing with a break in at our old place alongside of caring for the cats & vet appointments. i’m beat! completely and utterly exhausted. and on top of that i won’t get my weekends off for another 2 months 🥲
#(bc weekend class & work events </3. i am so tired lol)#me wondering why i’m crying all the time and barely holding it together & then remembering i have chronic pain & fatigue syndrome™️#bosses keep going on work trips & leaving me to run the office and atp idc if it’s mandatory or not. i’m over it lolol#also it’s not a regular office job bc of the nature of the work it’s also janitorial and a management position and i feel spread so thin D:#been fantasizing a lot abt getting a warehouse job lately but i’d still have to make it work with school and it’s tough
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spent the entire last two days at work thinking about Emmrook every waking second and then as soon as I clock out… poof! the writing motivation is gone.
#born to fantasize over fictional characters#forced to work#good I wanna write some DA fic so bad but I’m doing that thing like#‘oh I’m too new to the fandom I’m not comfortable enough with the lore I’m afraid it would be OOC’ yadda yadda#like I have to earn my keep in the fandom to be allowed to write or something#(I have no idea what I would write anyway I just want to)#also feeling some Pavellan coming on soon#this second run of Inqusition is gonna end up as my canon world state I can feel it#anyway!#maybe I’ll write something maybe I won’t#I should look up some prompts#just gotta dive in headfirst and stop overthinking y’know#not like I have to post it#holy shit I need to stop talking in these tags#brooke.txt
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can someone please tell me why my mom always asks why i’m stressed and then follows it up with “oh if you only knew what stressed feels like” as if its my fault our lives are different! just because i only have to take care of myself doesn’t mean im not stressed out!
#like. i want to die every day i literally fantasize about getting into a fatal car accident on the way to work every day#and i can barely afford to live and pay my bills and feed myself and my pets but yeah i don’t have kids so i don’t know what stressed feels#like! no one told you to have 5 kids before 33!!! you could’ve gotten rid of me and gone to college!!!! no one told you to have me!!!#i’m so tired
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having blades near me makes me feel so safe. i feel protected and cared for even though i’d never want to be in another situation where i’d need to use them for their intended purposes
#weapum#os/or#it’s the opposite with guns i feel all intimidated but like flustered idk things have been weird for me since a guy turned up at work armed#i need therapy but i’m happy enough just… idk. learning about and looking at that them. maybe fantasizing ab them#gun violence tw#in the tags#echos in the armory
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